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lucarioisinthevoid · 4 years ago

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Twitch Streamer AU???

(I planned on pushing out a FEW AU asks, but then realized I don’t even have so many. There’s going to be a FNAC event, but that will be an event, not a specific AU ask, so- I guess this is it! Very cursed AU, thank you very much Anon Small warning for mentions of blood, I think? Nothing too bad.)

Streamers, youtubers, content creators. Some people are all of these, some people are none, and some are just one- because each of them needed a very different talent. Those who could do seemingly everything were few and far between- And they ruled the entertainment scene! Thankfully though, the main three as most called them, were also always out for new content to watch. Thus they boosted those that they saw potential in. With some taking the boost and then going off to do their own thing- And some becoming good friends. It always started with a letter. Mike had the habit to do things on stream, as long as no personal details were not visible on them. He used a false email which he regularly changed, and he generally kept himself as safe as possible. Opening emails on stream could be rather fun, even if it was a risk. Sometimes it encouraged people to send bad things- So to prevent the worst, nothing would be downloaded and all emails containing images would be put into the spam bin. Better safe than sorry, the internet was full of terrible people. This day so far had been successful. And by successful it meant that Mike was SCREAMING. “I HATE SUPER MEAT BOY. I WILL COMMIT VIOLENCE AGAINST MEAT IN A MINUTE. I HAVE A BIG F-CKING STEAK IN THE KITCHEN, AND I WILL THROW IT AGAINST THE F_CKING WALL. I WILL GET A HAMMER.” The chat was going wild, cheering. The chat’s phrase of today was “tender Mikey” and it didn’t help at all. “I DID. NOT. HIT THAT! I DID NOT!” A donation popped up, with a robotic voice. ‘Oh hai Mark!’ “NOT FUNNY! NOT F-CKING FUNNY. I’M SUFFERING HERE AND ALL OF YOU SUPPORT IT. YOU’RE ALL F-CKING MONSTERS HERE, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. AND I’M NOT F-CKING TENDERIZING THE MEAT WHEN I SLAP IT AROUND, I’LL RIP IT INTO PIECES AND CONSUME IT RAW!” Standing up, he genuinely went to get it- And fifteen minute later he had slightly calmed down, his hands and room slightly bloody. The chat was still celebrating and donating- another thing that never failed to make Mike BEG them to stop and use the money for something GOOD and SENSIBLE, LIKE THEM-FUCKING-SELF- but he had gotten out most of the energy. “Alright. Alright everyone. ENOUGH. I gotta stop you HERE. It’s email time.” A celebratory jingle played, as Mike booted up the website, opening the inbox. Memes, storytime, I’m-not-fucking-reading-that-and-you-know-it, and- One of the emails caught his- and the chat’s- attention, however. Sender: Fazbear Entertainment Topic: Challenge Needless to say- once again the chat was out of control and this time there was NOTHING Mike could do to stop them. After opening the email, Mike slowly took a deep breath and looked into the camera, between concerned and honored- But that wouldn’t be enough to rip him from his carefully maintained persona. So he audible scoffed- albeit him being unable to hide an excited grin. “Alright bitches and bastards in the audience- we’re firing SuperMeatBoy up again. You won’t be catching ME losing to a pink son of a bitch anytime soon!” After the letter- provided it was accepted and responded to, the production happened. The deal was that a teaser was dropped on the big channel- The entire video itself was put on the smaller one, attracting the viewers over and hopefully make them more likely to want to see the other works the creator had put out. It was a win-win overall, the big channel being able to vary their content, testing the water for new things- and the smaller channel getting a boost and a lot of tips from very experienced creators. Henry and Dave were very generous people. Jeremy was sitting there, taking deep breaths, trying to stay calm. So far, everyone seemed to be rather kind, even if Jeremy was basically a complete nobody. Hell, he never wanted to be anybody. He just wanted to stream himself baking, for those who never had someone baking with them. Because baking could feel stressful, especially when you were missing ingredients or- many reasons, actually. Not only baking, but cooking too- Sometimes playing games on request, but not much in terms of requests ever came in. And now he was here in an actual studio, soon to be seen by an insane amount of people. A cooking competition. Sounded silly- you couldn’t really FIGHT in something like that… But… Henry and Dave had promised it would be fun. And they were nice. With and without the cameras rolling. Speaking off- There they were, approaching, their assistant coming along. He wore a weird phone-head, to ensure his privacy. Or something. It was kinda weird, but he had just accepted the answer he got. “Why, there you are, Jeremy! Would you like to see the equipment we have prepared?” Henry warmly asked, reaching down with his hand to help his guest stand up. “We have gotten a few extra things, just in case.” As they entered the studio, Jeremy’s invisible eyes went WIDE. “Woah- that looks really nice! I love it here! This is high quality stuff-!” “Fantastic!” Pleased Henry opened his arms in his typical theatrical manner- Before being abruptly interrupted by Dave jumping in, halfway over Henry’s shoulder. “ARE YA READY TO GO!? CAMERAS ARE READY!” “Ah- I- I guess- but-“ “YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS! GET IT ROLLIN’!” “W-wait, I don’t even have-“ “Everyone! Welcome to NOTHIN’ AT ALL!” Henry swiftly fitted in, continuing on with the intro. “Todays challenger is the man, the legend, the baker and occasional chef- Jeremy from Baking With Jeremy!” “Wait, what- that’s seriously your channel name, pal?” A bit offended Jeremy looked into the eyes of the people behind the camera. “U-uh- you guys here- I mean- he has literally called his channel Henry Miller! I- uhm- I-“ Snickering Henry put a hand on his guest’s shoulder. “You are very right about that. Say, are you nervous about losing?” “… n-no. I mean- maybe a little. This place here is big and very professional and I’m not used to many people looking at me…” Taking a deep breath, he gave off a nervous smile for the audience. “… yet, I know- it’s a good thing! And as long as everyone has fun, everything will work out!” “Awwwww, look at him!” Dave said, pleased. “You’re so right! We’ll be havin’ fun!” “But also, I will win.” Henry pointed out. “That is when I have the most fun.” Slightly playful Jeremy smiled. “K-keep that attitude, that will make it even easier to blindside you!” Simon whistled, clearly bemused as he held the camera in place- And Henry smirked. “Sure. Anyhow, the stakes are-“ “Steaks? We’re makin’ steaks? I thought we planned on-“ “Dave. I swear to god.” Henry looked at him from the side, before shaking his head. “What is on the line is easy to see- we have roughly an hour to cook the best meal. If Jeremy wins, we will donate 5000 to a charity of his choice!” “And if the young pal loses, he’ll be joinin’ our channel!” Dave chirped. This was news to the brown-haired boy. “W-wait, we never agreed to that-“ “GET TO YOUR STATIONS!” Someone in the back announced. “WHO’S TODAYS FAVORITE?” Simon checked the stream. “The chat says Jeremy is a clear winner. Nobody trusts Henry to keep his two braincells together for long enough to not forget the salt or something.” “Excuse?!” Not only Henry was APPALLED by the chat, Dave joined right in. “Ya guys have NO taste. I’ll be clearly winnin’… but hey, maybe ya peeps don’t know that I plan to cheat!” Surprised Jerry looked over to Dave’s cooking station. “How… how can you cheat at cooking-“ Before he could finish his sentence, he shrieked as Dave pulled out a flamethrower. “HELL YEAH BABY, I AIN’T WAITING 30 MINUTES FOR SOMETHING TO COOK IN THE OVEN, I’LL BE DONE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES MAX!” “W-WAIT THAT DOESN’T SEEM SAVE-“ Henry just raised his hands, cheerful. “Ready… set…” The Phone Guy made eye- well, rotary- contact with Jeremy, slightly raising a fire extinguisher that was by his side. … alright, it seemed the people here were well-prepared for this scenario. So instead he focused on the ingredients in front of him. Almost manic, Henry’s voice rang. “GO!” And… … that was it! Some joined, with amazing results- Mike rubbed his face. “Who thought that was a great idea. I fucking hate this.” Dave next to him on the couch just grinned. “It’s amazin’ what these websites all offer to sell. You won’t be BELIEVIN’ what’s in this box!” “I’M NOT OPENING IT.” “YOU WILL. OTHERWISE IT’LL HUNT YOUR DREAMS. I’LL PUT THIS BOX NEXT TO YOUR BED. YOUR TOILET. ONTO YOUR DINNER TABLE. INTO THE FRIDGE. I’LL ORDER MORE OF THESE BOXES.” “Jesus CHRIST, calm DOWN-“ “I WILL FIGHT YA TO THE DEATH OLD PAL-“ - and some people just went back to the usual pattern, with the occasional raid from Fazbear Entertainment. They asked first, of course. Each of them fulfilled their own niche, each of them had caught Henry’s and Dave’s attention in one way or another. Henry and Dave however- Well, Dave was the varied creator. Henry liked his niche. He played horror, investigated ARGs, read stories about real and fictional crimes against humanity. The world was a terrible place, wasn’t it? Yet he reveled in it. Aside from that he showed extra effects, he built machines and thought everyone one or another thing about creating special effects at home. From dry ice to genuinely ridiculous chain-reactions, Henry showed them it all. Blood too, multiple forms of it, depending on how and where it would be used. Sometimes breaking it off with more light-hearted one-off games and listening to what his community wanted to see… but the most comfortable he was with horror and analysis. He was a youtuber, a streamer, a content creator… … and one thing more. It wasn’t easy to find the code. But his intended audience were a very small amount of people. A small number of strangers. There was no way to know if anyone ever made it to more than one show, but Henry did not care. It wasn’t for them that he did this. Him and William moved down, down below the set, into the lowest regions of the house. The workshop. Nobody really question why you added what to your home if you were a creative person. Even less so if you were a famous, eccentric creator. Yes, the free reign was what he REALLY loved about his job. Maybe he should build his studio somewhere else- But like this it was so much more thrilling! Wordlessly both of them put on their suits. It would hide their identity perfectly- especially the animal heads that contorted their voices a bit. Enough. Today’s participant wore a mask too- another phone head, differently made, different style, but to hide their identity too. However, the voice was in no way muffled. Panicked the person dragged on the chains keeping them attached to the chair. “H-HELLO!? HELLO!? S-SOMEONE- IS SOMEONE HERE!?” A noisy one! Delightful! Both Fredbear and Springbonnie stepped out of the shadows, one form each side. While Springbonnie put his hands gently on the shoulders of the whimpering person, Fredbear stepped in front of the camera, bowing. “Ladies and gentlemen-“ The low voice sounded more like the one of an animal than from a person. Yet it was smooth and comforting. “- I welcome you to yet another installment of our show. I am Fredbear, and over there is my wonderful assistant, Springbonnie. Today we have brought a simple stranger, a nobody who might not even be missed. Thusly I encourage you to truly be creative with your ideas. And while your votes roll in, maybe I point out that next time we will have another little game-show, with quite the effects. We might even get a real bull! You will not want to miss it.” The board above the camera blinked up, as a bitter fight of votes started, everyone wanting to see something else. Three tiers to vote on! Foreplay (light injuries), main course (heavy injury leading to death) and of course what to do with the body. Below it was a little measure for “face reveal”. Some of their viewers really enjoyed seeing the expressions during and after. It came with a risk to Fredbear and Springbonnie, as the victim being recognizable meant their general area of activity was more obvious- thus it was incredibly expensive. They knew there was every now and again law enforcement mixed up between the genuine watchers. It was thrilling too- Yet Fredbear wanted to keep this game alive as long as he could. Thus it was important to hide what they could. Fredbear was a creator first and foremost, an entertainer second- And there was nothing that attracted an HONEST, an UNRESTRAINED, a PURE audience quite like violence. Once blood spilled, humans degraded and it was wonderful. Behind him, the victim began rattling even more erratic. “WHAT- WHAT IS THIS?! LET ME OUT- PLEASE- LET ME OUT- PLEASE- I- DIDN’T DO ANYTHING-“ Burying his hands into the shoulders of Springbonnie downright cackled, enjoying the mania that always accumulated in these situation. “Be still, new friend! The audience HATES too much whining, y’know? And at least you could die with your tongue still intact, wouldn’t that be nicer than having to swallow the thing? Once it almost killed someone, boy, that sure was a bother!” His voice was changed to a cartoonish, upbeat pitch- “While the votes come in, how about we quiz today’s friend… maybe if you are smart enough, they will want you to live! It happened before… o n c e.” Fredbear took out a long scalpel, the face a morbid grimace. “Surprise us!”

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years ago

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Open Wide

A few weeks back, i saw an advertisement for a flick called Run coming to Netflix. I thought it looked interesting but i really paid it no mind because it’s on Hulu. Cats can always watch it whenever s i out it on the back burner. It dropped last Friday, i think. I had planned to check it out in a week or two, but the reviews for this thing started dropping and they were glowing. This was enough to pique my interest. What really caught my attention was the fact that the co-lead, Kiera Allen was announced as Barbara Gordon for that Titans show on HBOMax. Considering both the actress and the character use a wheel chair, that means we're getting a proper Oracle and i cannot be more hype! Admittedly, I've never been a huge fan of Babs as Batgirl, my favorite is definitely Casandra Cain, but Babs a Oracle? That sh*t felt real right! This casting feels right, just from what I've inferred Allen’s performance through those reviews i watched. So, instead of waiting. I've decided to check this thing out now and see for myself if it stands up as one of the best this year.

The Exceptional

Before we get into anything, i just need to commend the adroit direction exhibited by Aneesh Chaganty with this movie. It’s crafted SO goddamn well, for so many reasons. I can gush about this dude’s technique for the entire review but that would be a disservice to literally everything else that makes this experience so brilliant. There is definitely a Hitchcockian edge to Run that Chaganty captures effortlessly, but it’s never an imitation or plagerisim. That sense of unease comes naturally with the story being told and the clarity of Chaganty’s vision for these characters.

As if to drive the point about Chaganty’s ability home, aside from the fact that he’s only twenty-nine and delivering sh*t like this onscreen, dude also has a writing credit on this. He f*cking wrote this movie, too. That level of auteur creativity bodes incredibly well when navigated with aplomb. It;s hard to do for lesser director, Zack Snyder comes to mind, but when it’s executed to it’s full potential, you get brilliance like this.

Off the top, Sarah Paulson is absolutely excellent. She usually is. Paulson is one of those rare talents that uplifts straight up schlock with her raw talent and it’s always a pleasure watching her do it. She did it with the absurd Bird Box. She did it with the over-the-top Ratched. She did it every season she was on AHS. She does it naturally and, when there is actually something to dig into, when the part has some bite, Paulson can work miracles. Her antagonistic turn as Diane Sherman stands next to Kathy Bates and Amy Dunham as one of the most vicious, calculating, and cruel femme fatales to ever be captured in modern cinema.

Kiera Allen is f*cking amazing as our heroine, Chloe Sherman. I literally just gushed about Sarah Paulson but Kiera is JUST as incredible in this movie. She had to be. It’s her movie. Paulson gets top billing, of course, she’s Sarah Paulson, but this movie is not a film without Allen. She is more than capable to match Paulson’s energy, more than capable of elevated this script. You feel her panic and desperation, every second of that struggle. It’s both exhausting and captivating, testament to the raw ability Allen displays. Considering this is just her second credit, i look forward with great anticipation for what comes next in her career.

There is a distinct authenticity to Allen’s performance as she, herself, is really wheel chair reliant in life. I commend the production for actually casting a properly disabled actress for the lead in this flick but, more than that, when Chole is struggling with her mobility, that sh*t is true to reality. It’s grueling to see, stressful to witness, and raises the sheer theatricality of this entire ninety minute run time

The tension in this movie is f*cking insane! It starts fast, grabs your throat, and never let’s go. You’re right there with Chloe, every step of the way, being inundated with the quiet viciousness of her mother, the things she’d do to keep her daughter locked away, to feed her delusion, and its f*cking horrifying. There is a deliberate, escalating, pace to the unnerving violence presented on film. It’s rare that a movie can hit me as hard as this one. It’s no Uncut Gems but it’s still one of the stressful times I've ever experienced on film.

Run is f*cking beautiful. The camerawork displayed is exceptional. Every shot with Chloe as she grapples with her plight, feels brutally intimate, almost intrusive in nature. Every close up of Paulson as she spins her wed of deceit feels detached and inhuman. The cinematography is just that powerful. Every pan, fade, transition; All of it is expertly crafted and visually striking. This is one of the best looking movies released so far this year. i kn ow that’s slim pickings but, truly, this flick is a gem for the eye.

The sound design in this thing is an actual character, itself, and deserves a proper mention. All that tension i spoke of earlier? None of that is possible without that inflicting, stressful, score. It compliments the increasing sinister tone to this film perfectly, another feather in the cap of Aneesh Chaganty.

There is a lot, like the most, show-don’t-tell in this thing and i respect the f*ck out of it. The narrative isn’t difficult to flow or anything but it doesn’t hold our hand with a sh*t ton of verbal exposition. It trusts the audience enough to allow them to engage, use their intellect in an effort to tell a far more compelling, far more engaging story. That sh*t is rare, especially in this age of Hollywood Bayhem. It’s incredibly refreshing to see such a well crafted film like this one, especially when you consider how difficult it is to craft such a purely visual experience.

The Ugh

There are some things that happen in service to the plot, some “movie” things that need to occur in order to properly tell the story. They’re aren’t many but everything else about this flick is so tight, so well thought out and put together that, when these things pope up, they are very, VERY, pronounced and, for a split second, kind of pull you out of the experience. I don’t think the majority of the movie going audience would have such an averse reaction to them as i did, most cats don’t pick apart movies like i do, but I'd be lying if i said that stuff didn’t get under my skin a little.

This thing should have been released in theaters, man. Seriously, the way this film is shot, the way the sound design hits, the way it’s lingering shots rest; All of this would have been far more impactful on the big screen with a proper sound system. This is definitely not a knock n the film, itself, this thing is f*cking amazing, it’s just, as i watch this, i can see it impacting as strong as Hereditary, Suspiria, or The VVitch, if it had an opportunity for a proper theatrical run.

This thing is only ninety minutes and it’s a brisk ninety to boot. You’re in it, it’s in you, then it’s over and you’re left wanting so much more. I wanted so much more anyway. That’s testament to the inspired crafting of this movie, man. Again, not a knock, just something that irked me.

The Verdict

Yo, i f*cking loved this movie. It’s one of the best crafted, well written, and tension filled film experiences I've had in years. These characters are that compelling, the direction is that dazzling, and this narrative is that gripping. Run is a pure thriller but it feels like the best Slasher I've seen in decades, minus all of the gore. It’s all atmosphere and inference and i adore every second of it. The strength of this film is easily carried in the shoulders of two performances that, if this were a regular year in film, should definitely be considered for all of the awards. Sarah Paulson is her requite brilliant but newcomer Kiera Allen is just as shiny, just as great, and its her manically desperate energy that carries this bundle of stress across to it’s finish. F*ck, that last scene in the hospital? Are you kidding me?? Run is one of the best films released this year and deserves all of the clout it can get, all of the eyes on it. It’s an exceptionally crafted film with great performances and a level of atmosphere that rivals f*cking Alien. I can’t say it’s my favorite movie of the year, Palm Springs still holds that title, but it only has the slightest of edges over Run. Both are excellent. Both are on Hulu. Go watch them right now.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Run

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insomnihan · 5 years ago

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han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on TWICE’s “More & More”

youtube

ITS BEEN 84 YEARS-

I HAVENT DONE AN AFTERTHOUGHTS POST IN FOR-F UCKING EVER BUT I AM HERE NOW ANYWAY LETS TALK ABOUT QUEENS TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(btw this might be shorter bc im tired i moved houses recently so im sorry if its not as enthusiastic as the others)

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG okay........................... initial feelings ill be one hundred percent real with yall im lowkey not feeling it pls do not kill me im begging- like something about the chorus is just not????? clicking for me???????? its MOSTLY sana saying more and more so many times that just wont vibe with me lets be real tho i might like it when im done typing this s hit THO everything else around is pretty catchy!!!!!!!!!! something about that instrumental is hitting different like the introduction with nayeon and mina was very pleasant and was a nice start to the song and that instrumental part in the chorus part is genuinely nice OH BINCH THE DANCE BREAK SECTION LISTEN IT KINDA SENT ME TO ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE that s hit................... hurted-

the little rap section dahyun and chaeyoung do after the dance break.................. hmm........... i dunno actually it was certainly unexpected perhaps the song couldve been done without it.............? or mayhaps placed somewhere else.............?

OFC THIS DOES NOT MEAN IM LEANING MORE DISLIKING THE SONG I REALLY DO LIKE IT BUT SOME PARTS ARE MORE EH TO ME IM SORRY-

HOWEVER THE DANCE HELLO- TWICE DANCES DO BE HITTING REALLY DIFFERENT THO that beginning part when their all together and in the water was *chefs kiss* like that ending section of it with jihyo in the front iS A YES FROM ME- that part with momo before she says ‘so one more time’............. Thoughts™ are being thought as much as i dont enjoy the ‘more more more more more and more’ part as much as the rest of the song that dance is still fitting for it!!!!! its nothing like fancy tho i will not be dancing along with them its very much on brand for them to have a fun choreo that everyone else will like to dance to

DANCE BREAK.......................... HOW ARE YOU TODAY- ill be honest and admit that i watched the dance break teaser thing LISTEN THEY DIDNT HAVE TO SNAP THEY REALLY DIDNT BUT BI CTH THEY SERVED AND NOW IM FULL all their arms waving and swinging around and when they were behind momo being all symmetrical and s hit!!!!!! momo.................... i swear tO F CKING GOD-

WE LOVE A COLORFUL MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE VISUALS WERE JUST SO PRETTY™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF THE NATURE AND FLOWERS AND THE ANIMALS AND THE SHINY™ THINGS HOW THERES A WHOLE PLETHORA OF COLORS IN NEARLY EVERY SECOND ON THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HONESTLY VERY VERY VERY PLEASANT TO MY EYES VERY SPARKLY NO COMPLAINTS FROM ME

(although a little trippy at times bc of all of the editing with making multiples of them and extra lights and ✨ Sparkles™✨)

SOME SCENES THAT I LIKED AND WANNA MENTION:

THE BEGINNING ALL OF IT

THE FIRST ROOM THEY ALL DANCED IN FOR THE CHORUS

THE SPARKLY SPIDER WEBS

H O R S E S P O T L I G H T

WHEN THEY ALL DANCED IN FRONT OF THAT COLORFUL ARCH OR WHATEVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WATER OUTSIDE

WHEREVER THE HELL THEY WERE FOR THE DANCE BREAK

T H E M

WHERE THE F UCK DID THESE FOREST GODDESSES COME FROM-

WE F KUCING GET IT YOURE ALL SUPER GORGEOUS AND PRETTY AND HOLY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BOB HAIRCUTS ON GIRLS- NAYEON LOOKS SO GOOD WHAT IN THE GOOD GOD- SPECIFICALLY THAT HEADBAND AND CROP TOP DURING THE SECOND CHORUS F KCING KICK ME

JEONGYEON PLS BE QUIET WITH THIS BLONDE HAIR OR ELSE I WILL D WORD IM NOT JOKING AROUND that look with her hair in a bun with that dress thats long in the front with those black boots............... oh f cuk-

MOMO ARE YOU F CKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW this shade of blonde is Excellent on her™ and its all wavy and s hit that purple outfit at the beginning and that crop top THE WHITE ONE I CANT-

perhaps........................... i really like orange hair 🥴🥴🥴.................. sana said F CUK YOUR BREATH IM TAKING IT i dont even know why im even A LITTLE shocked like i SAW THE TEASERS i knew i was gonna get f ucked the hell UP i just pls leave me alone-

MY F CUKING BIAS JIHYO WHAT IN THE GODDAMN- THIS LONG PINK HAIR AND THE WAVINESS IM JUST.................. [REST] the green outfit at the beginning already nearly ended me and that one part where its up in a pony tail...................... [REST 2.0]

MINA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SO BEAUTIFUL WITH YOUR BLONDE HAIR she looks like a goddess THE MOST in that white dress honestly that multicolored dress my knees aRE WEAK the pigtails that look sheS SO CUTE OH NO-

right off the start dahyuns dark blue hair and that blue dress............................ 😳😳😳 holy god- she used to be my bias but my god does she still breaks my kneecaps and twists my neck 180 that purple dress and she has braids mY GOODNESS

chaeyoung grabbing me by the neck with braids in one scene and theN BUNS IN THE NEXT how she looking IN GENERAL while she was behind those spiderwebs give me a minute- BUT THEN the white outfit during the dance break...................... BRO DO NOT-

tzuyu with red hair.................. I Am Looking 👁👄👁 LI👏TER👏ALLY👏 THAT FIRST SCENE WHEN SHE SINGS WITH THE GREEN DRESS AND BOOTS MESS👏ME👏UP👏 the crop top the crop top listen the cROP TOP-

LIKE to keep it really real with yall I DONT HATE IT I DO NOT but i dont love it as much as like what is love or fancy i love it enough that i wont like SKIP IT IF IT CAME UP ON MY PLAYLIST its a really nice song for the summer and its fun to watch and trust me i still be bouncing to it while listening to it ITS DEFINITELY ONE OF THOSE SONGS YOULL JUST END UP LOVING IF YOU LISTENED TO IT ENOUGH TIMES

IN CONCLUSION: ILL LIKE IT MORE & MORE EVENTUALLY

#its a little shorter bc im out of practice being Loud on Text Post™#am i being too negative this time around?????????? oh no-#twice #not dc #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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alex-baebae · 5 years ago

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Immaculate

Chapter 23

TOP's point of view

Gardening was good for me, it relaxed me a lot. I've always liked plants since I was in the training, there they taught us how to take care of many kinds of plants. When I was at that small apartment 'she' didn't have any.

One day I found one dumped in the streets, we were doing the shopping. I took it to her house without getting caught.

I took care of it, while I did the housework, I put the very small cactus in the rays of the sun, then I gave it a little quantity of water when necessary and I observed it much time when I finished. I tried to finish as soon as possible, so I could be near to the plant more time. I also told it how pretty it was, perhaps it was something I would like to be told.

Before ‘she' returned home I hid it in the closet I used to sleep in. Whenever I felt bad, I looked at the iron shelf where I put the cactus. Even if it was at night and the closet was not well illuminated, looking at the cactus silhouette made me felt better. I cried less times the week I took care of it.

However, one day she decided to 'check' my things as if I was hiding something, maybe she thought I had stolen her money. When she was high, she used to do stupid stuff as lose her job, her money, her keys... Well, I hadn't stolen anything but, she found the little cactus "what the f*cking h*ll is this sh*t, Daniel?" She called me furious "a plant" I answered looking down "I know is a f*cking plant, do you think I am stupid?" She was pretty angry 'why did you say it' I regretted my words instantaneously.

"Why did you bring it?" She asked, I didn't want to respond so I keep looking down “this is my house, you have to follow the rules" she yelled at me "you really are a stupid robot" she grabbed my hair, I moaned due to the pain 'she' hit my belly with her knee I fell over of course. I was not able to stood up, I hated myself even more, I was so weak.

I was on my knees over the floor trying to stood up, one kick, another one. The third kick was the hardest I was not able to endure the impact, I vomited "f*ck! look at the mess you made!" the little quantity of food I ate at that morning was then wasted over the floor.

She shoved me with his foot, I was laying down in fetal position "sh*t" she put her boot on my cheek to move my face a little "all your face is covered" she commented "you vomited too hard that it came out of your nose as well” she laughed making fun of me "I hope you have understood that you have to follow rules" she kicked my tummy five times again, I vomited again this time something that seemed to be saliva. Feeling the liquid in my nose was terrible "clean this" she said and stepped on my little cactus until it became dust ‘sorry’ I thought looking to the dead plant.

I tried to stood up again, I couldn't my legs quivered "you little piece of sh*t, look you can't even move" she laughed "I'll help you" she pulled me up quickly I was dizzy, she punched my belly hard again this time with her fist, I shouted. Tears of pain fell over my vomit, I didn’t fall again due to she was still grabbing my shirt. ‘She’ was obsessed with my belly I still couldn't find out why "don't puke again" she yelled.

'It's over it's over' I thought again and again, it wasn’t.

“Come here” she grabbed my neck and put me under the shower, I was sat down, I still couldn’t stood up by myself “such a mess” she grabbed my neck forcing me to look at her “you look like a scared little rat, when you are about to smash it” she hit the wall near to my face, I shivered looking at her hand and then I looked to her, she laughed. I thought she was going to use the baseball bat again, fear was permeating my bowels.

Suddenly water was splashing my face, I felt I was drowning, her grab was tight. She liked to choke me until my vision blurred. She rarely did it as a punishment, she preferred to do it when we had sex or as a way to release her tension.

It stopped, I was on my knees, I coughed many times. She let the cold water fell all over my body “mhm” I moaned softly, the sensation was the worst “wash yourself, and clean up when you finish”.

That day I also met ____, I was waiting for a good opportunity to scape. I had tried to do it before, she caught me, fortunately I could find a good excuse “I’m taking out the trash” that day I only got a slap. But what could she had done if I had not said those words?

When she broke my toes, I wanted to run away too. But I was not even able to walk, run was impossible. She was going to catch me and punish me even harder.

…

When I figured out, I was in ___’s apartment I was worried. ____ could be a bad person as 'she', the next days I kept thinking the same. So, I did my best to not drive her crazy, however, in no time she showed me that not all the people were like that I had met.

____ has plants in her house but a machine did all the job, it gave them water, and special light if they needed it. All I did was looking at them and tell them beautiful words, once I tried to give them water but the machine scolded me. They had enough water and if I kept giving them water, they more they would die, that was what the machine told me. ____ also taught me how to pick the carrots she planted. I really liked the way she taught me many things, such as read, write, use the smartphone, she’s very patient.

...

The warm water, her warm body... It felt amazing, her head on my shoulder... I can't describe how good I was feeling with just words.

I closed my eyes softly as well, I was focused on every single breath she took, in the contact of each other skins.

I needed to feel her warm arms around me, so I moved and buried my face in her neck as I had been doing all that time, she put her arms around my shoulders as a result of my actions.

We didn't talked, but it was like at every single second we were saying to each other "I love you, I love you" through the warmth our of bodies.

The garden was full of light, she put many lamps for me, so I could see the garden at night too. It was raining, that time was simply lovely.

-----------

If you are thinking about if I confessed to him well I didn’t, he did. It really shocked me, I had never thought it could be possible, you know... him being in love with me.

The sunset was going to be in no time "____" he suddenly called me. We were sat down on the couch after he exercised in his treadmill while I was reading a book looking for information for my thesis.

"____, you told me that I should tell you if I'm feeling weird or bad or... Well, I'd like to tell you this before but I just couldn't" he was very nervous of course "yes, please tell me" I really thought it was something bad happening, I was concerned "I- I'm falling for you" he hid his face looking to one side, I couldn't got it at first since he spoke so much quickly.

A big smile appeared on my face "you don't have to look down!" I made him to look at my eyes "you are so brave, did you know it?" I hugged him the tightest my arms could.

"Don't you hate me?" He asked shy "of course no! I will never hate you" I separated from him to see his face, he was surprised too. It seemed he couldn’t believe what I was telling him "so you...?" He hesitated "I'm so in love with you, sweet angel". We were both happy, well that's what happens when your feelings are not rejected.

Soon the night was there... covering us with its moonlight "can I give you a kiss?" He asked me, we were hugging each other and kissing our faces, smelling each other scent through our cheeks. I knew what he meant, he meant a 'special kiss'.

"Of course, you can" I said, we were close enough to make it happen in less than a second, he closed his eyes and daintily kissed my lips, he stayed there for a moment. At the moment his lips touched mine I felt all his innocence, all his sincere love. It wrapped me as I shut my eyes... I had never felt something like that before.

He separated from me being a blushing mess, "can you do that again?" he looked at me surprised, even more blushed if that was possible "y-yes" he told me softly, he again closed his eyes, and did the same. It felt like a totally new experience again although it was a second kiss 'so beautiful...' I thought.

We were looking into each other’s eyes again, trying to understand it was real and happening then. "Can I do it?" He nodded smiling, I grabbed his hands caressing them a little, since the first kiss started, we hadn't had more contact with each other than our lips. So, first I kissed all his face, then I put his hands on my waist and I did the same with mine on his. Then I did the same as him, when I tried to move my lips on his he moaned and squirmed "sorry" I put my forehead on his. I knew it, he was scared, maybe he felt attacked.

All this time he had being raped it was normal to feel scared. "Wanna be alone?" he shook his head immediately, he rested his face on my shoulder hiding his face in my neck, one day he confessed that when he did so he felt protected by me, that's the reason he loved to do it.

That night was magical, I didn't want it to end. But at the same time, I wanted to experience new things with him, such as going to the park as a couple, to the cinema, to a dinner, to go for a walk, to cook with him...Well many things.

"Now we are..." He asked shy "lovers, a couple" I said while shutting my eyes again feeling his hands over my waist, and the fabric of his favorite white shirt on the palms of my hands "I'm your girlfriend" I spoke again "you are my sunshine" he responded "I'm yours" he added.

Well the next days we did the same activities, all that changed was we kissed each other on the lips many times. He made me laugh as always, he cooked for me, etcetera. He was getting better, not only his body but his heart too.

"So... You don't have to take more medicines" my aunt said clearly happy "congratulations, Seunghyun" she hugged him "thank you" he returned the hug "come here, family hug" my aunt told me, we hugged firmly "now, you just have to take care of yourself and if you feel strange or whatever just message me, right?" He nodded happily "I'll do it".

That evening Seughyun told me that an old lady asked him for information about us such as if we were married, and when did we move to that house. It concerned me, although she said she lived in the same neighborhood and there is many curious people, I was still panicked of someone taking him away from me... paranoia was still there, taking over my mind.

Good night! Good morning! IDK

keep fighting, I know you can do it!

Lots of pure love

Alex

#choi seunghyun #choi seunghyun angst #T.O.P #t.o.p angst #t.o.p x reader #choi seunghyun x reader #bigbang stories #bigbang #bigbang angst #bigbang x reader #kpop #kpop angst #kpop stories #kpop x reader

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caribouwritings · 6 years ago

Text

The Last Known Flower

{First Draft}

“We got to hide.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere, let’s try this place.”

Pushing the steel door open, it felt as though Dante and Kevin were transported back a couple centuries back. So use to the dark mechanical world the Earth had become, seeing the wooden interior lit with warm lights wasn’t the most daunting sight inside the cozy building: it was the books.

Dante felt as though he and Kevin stuck out among the rows of shelves filled to the brim with colorful spines both hard and soft. After all, they were two thugs in dark clothes and military vest, covered in bulging pockets that either had weapons or stolen goods in each. Dante may have been smaller than Kevin who managed to swipe food on every mission, but his Latino looks packaged with his pearly white smile made him a whole different kind of threat.

He walked in deeper, his steel toe boots muffled in the neutral carpet shades.

Kevin popped his collar up, following Dante. His steel gaze was unfazed, unlike Dante’s bewilderment as they walked through the aisles of books. Kevin bit into the donut he snatched, getting crumbs caught in his red mustache and the vacuumed floors.

“What do you think this place is?” Dante wondered aloud.

Kevin shrugged making an inaudible noise.

Dante ran his bare fingertips over a column of books of the same name, “it’s kind of cool.”

“That’s good for you then, lad.” Kevin brushed past him, “we can hide out here until those drone scouts go back to their stations.”

Kevin sat down on bench in the corner, taking out his knife from his boot and began polishing the clean blade. Dante turned back to the rainbow of spines, then began walking the lengths loss in the vintage beauty.

“Don’t get lost, lad,” Kevin called with a mouthful.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dante replied dismissively.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement at a wooden counter.

He turned quick, seeing it was a checkout counter with a sign behind it that read Pages Bookstore. At that counter was a single robo-cashier, inventorying books by scanning each barcode on the back and stacking them into different piles. Hesitantly, he approached despite knowing how high the chances were this bot had a camera feeding data back to the cops.

“Uh, hi,” Dante said, “this place is open, right?”

The robot lifted its dark monitor for a face, “hello. Pages Bookstore is open 24/7 for all your book related needs.”

It was a preprogramed answer inside its processor, and that was relief to Dante since that meant this was an older model. This also meant that there was no way the cops were getting any live data. By the time they came in to download its CPU, it would be too late to catch him.

“Cool.” Dante stepped away, moving on to look around.

He walked deeper into the sea of books, admiring the paintings on the wall. He paused, picking up a book that caught his eye. After a second of reading the back, he opened it up, and stood there reading the first chapter.

Then, he heard it.

A hum.

He lifted his head, and saw something that wasn’t a robot passing by.

Dante shut the book, peaking around the corner at something he never seen in person before. It was partially untrue, he’s seen women before, but this one was not dressed in the cyberpunk style with spikey heels and almost no clothes on.

As he bit down on his cheek, Dante began following the delicate beauty with a high ponytail the color of sand. He pulled on his collar as she turned into a little nook, feeling as though the fabric was restricting his airway.

Dante kept moving forward, trying to get a look at her face that was turned away from him. He stood at the corner of the shelf, knocking his knuckles on the hard cover of his book. He glanced back, seeing this girl sitting on the floor with her poodle skirt around her like a perimeter.

Dante turned to walk away in retreat, cursing himself for being scared of a pretty face despite his life.

“Murder mystery or young adult rom-com?”

Dante paused, “huh?”

“What?”

He turned back, and she was now looking up at him with the most intense ocean blue eyes he had ever seen.

“I… I was actually talking to myself. I didn’t actually see you standing there,” she held out her hand, “hi.”

Dante took her hand in his, “hi.”

“Hello,” she rambled on, “how are you? How’s it… how’s it going?”

Dante smiled, “I’m good. It’s a good night for me. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m real good. I’m just really, really awkward.”

“I couldn’t tell.”

“Really?”

“No, I’m just lying to be nice.”

“That’s actually so nice of you, thank you for lying.”

“No problem.”

“Come here often?”

“No, I didn’t know this place existed until five minutes ago.”

“Then where do you get your books?”

“I don’t really read.”

“But that’s book three!”

Dante looked down at his book still in his hand, “I just saw the cover and thought it looked decent.”

She got up, “you got to read it from the beginning!”

“Do I?” Dante asked.

“Yes!” she hurried off to the section he picked the book up from.

Dante walked over to where she was once sitting, looking at the two books she was deciding between. Reading over the back, he could already tell the murder mystery was going to be horrible.

“Here.” She skidded to a halt in her beat up sneakers.

Dante took two more books from her, “I thought you were getting me book one.”

“And two,” she pointed at the cover, “this one is my favorite in the series.”

“So, I should read these three books?” Dante asked.

“And the other four,” she rocked on her heels, “then maybe the two other books if you really like it, but they’re not as good as the originals.”

“Got it.” Dante handed her the rom-com, “the murder mystery has a weird synopsis that just doesn’t sound easy to follow.”

“Thank you for your help,” she smiled, “and I hope to see you around… mister…?”

“Dante, and you senorita?”

She brushed her hair behind her ear smiling, “it’s Dahlia.”

Dante took her hand and kissed her knuckles, “until we meet again, Dahlia.”

Dahlia hugged her book to her chest, walking away with a smile on her burning red face.

Dante leaned back against the shelf, and watched her walk all the way to the counter and purchase her book, and then leave back into the cold city.

After a moment of patting himself on the back, he walked back to where he left Kevin, unsurprised to find that he didn’t move.

“Where’d you go?” Kevin picked at his fingernails.

“Looked around for a bit. I found a couple of books to read.”

Kevin looked up, “books? When are you going to have time to read a book? We are in a f*cking gang.”

“Keep your voice down,” Dante warned, “this place is huge and we don’t know who else is here.”

“There’s no one here,” Kevin twirled his knife.

“A girl was here,” Dante took a card out of his wallet, “she’s the one who recommended these to me.”

“A girl was here?” Kevin jumped up, “why didn’t you come get me?”

“Because it was lady-type of girl,” Dante went to checkout counter, “not the type we run around with.”

Kevin shoved his knife back into his boot, “you’re seriously paying for those? Why not just walk out the door with them? You know, like we always do, lad?”

“I feel like I have to,” Dante handed the card to the bot.

***

Sitting in the hovercar, Dante chewed on the inside of his cheek while Kevin gobbled down a third hamburger spilling its condiments into its wrapper.

“Don’t get that crap on my leather seats,” Dante grumbled.

Kevin turned to Dante, and took a big bite causing ketchup to spill out.

“I really do hate you sometimes,” Dante leaned against the driver’s door. “Where the heck are these guys?”

“It’s a bank robbery,” Kevin licked his fingers, “it’s like an art, meaning they take time.”

Dante reached into his glovebox, and took out a book.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “seriously?”

“Just keep an eye out,” Dante flipped to the first page.

“Whatever you say,” Kevin shrugged, “just remember your job is to drive.”

“Bite me.”

Dante read for maybe five minutes, then there was a knock on his window. Dante didn’t look up, and instead moved on to the next page.

“Dante, lower the window for the pretty woman,” Kevin punched his arm.

Dante hit the button, not moving his eyes from the page.

“Hey there, handsome,” her voice was hoarse, and she smelled of smoke. It use to not bother him, but for some reason he felt sick now. She touched his shoulder with a wrinkled hand covered in cheap jewelry, “nice car. Maybe you and I can go for a spin sometime?”

Kevin nudged him roughly, whispering harshly, “Put the book down and say something.”

Dante sighed, then looked up at the woman with a heavily colored face wrapped with a messy, hot pink wig. He studied her metallic shorts with fishnets underneath that had long tears, red stilettos with the sharp heals, and the black bra being used as a top.

“Lo siento, no Inglés.”

The woman’s face went cold, stalking off, “jacka**.”

Kevin punched his arm, “dude!”

“¿Qué?” Dante couldn’t help but smile.

“You could’ve just let me have her!” Kevin yelled.

Dante chuckled, picking up his book again, “trabajo primero.”

“Quit speaking Spanish!”

“Are they coming?”

“No.”

“Keep watch.”

“I am watching!”

“Shh, I’m reading.”

Kevin stuck his middle finger up in Dante’s face.

Dante started reading again, smiling at the words projecting images in his mind. Although, his thoughts keep going back to wondering when he’d go back to Pages Bookstore and hopefully run into Dahlia again.

Kevin hit Dante’s arm, “start the car.”

Dante hit the button, then shut his book.

Two big guys in all black wearing chrome masks jumped into the backseats with nothing in their hands. As soon as the doors shut, Dante hit the pedal and they went down into the lower levels of the city and starting go into the retirement area down in suburban grounds.

Clicking a button on the stirring wheel, the black hue of his sport vehicle switched to a red muscle style as they flew up to a curb.

Dante parked, then he and Kevin turned to the two in the back, “you get the goods?”

One guy nodded, and pulled a green chip out of his pocket, “one million credits.”

“Now we bring this back to the boss,” the other said, “Let’s go.”

Dante went to drive off, but he couldn’t help but notice that the workers in the retirement home were wearing clothes in the style as Dahlia’s.

***

Later that night, Dante returned to the retirement home and parked at the curb. With the vehicle’s hull changed to navy blue, and his hair slick back.

He now just had to wait and see.

Looking through the rearview mirror, he watched wondered if he was overreacting.

He pulled the book out of his glovebox again, turning the music onto a techno station, and trying to focus on the pages before ultimately throwing the book at the windshield.

Dante got out of his vehicle, and began pacing the length of the driver’s side. He couldn’t understand why this girl had such a hold on him despite only meeting her the night before for a few minutes, in which she could barely speak.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Dante turned to the cement sidewalk, and there she was.

“Dahlia, hi!”

She jumped back, “oh! I didn’t recognize you.”

“I’m sorry,” Dante leaned on the top, “I drove by earlier, and noticed some of the staff wearing… that.”

Dahlia looked down at her tea length swing dress and cardigan, “I thought… I thought it was cute…”

“It is cute!” Dante blurted out, “you truly do look cute and… do you want to go grab a bite?”

Dahlia looked around, “no offense, but… why?”

“Because I want to get to know you,” Dante shrugged, “and I started the first book while I was at work?”

“You get to read at work?”

“Sometimes.”

“Lucky, I have to keep an eye on all these dementia people who think they’re in the era of swing dancing and poodle skirts.”

“That explains the outfit then,” Dante walked to the other side, “if you don’t want to go get something to eat, can I give you a ride home?”

Dahlia thought for a moment, then shrugged, “I guess I am a little bit hungry.”

Dante opened the car door upwards, “after you.”

Dahlia slowly ducked down, pulling her skirt close to her as she sat down in the passenger seat. He closed the door, slid over the hood, and hopped into the driver’s seat.

“Well, where are we going, senorita?”

***

Dante flew around the city, clicking his tongue as he pulled up to a neon lit drive-thru window, “you sure you want this?”

Dahlia nodded, “pretty please? The fries are so good.”

Dante laughed, “Okay, okay. Pequeña pepita.”

“Little what?” Dahlia asked.

“Not saying,” Dante pulled up the window, tapping on the computer screen.

“Should I take out my translator?” she teased.

“I’m not telling you what I said.” Then flew forward to the pickup window, tapping his card onto the code reader, “and I don’t want you looking up. I want you tell me what I said when you figure it out.”

“You know, you’re kind of a pain,” Dahlia poked his muscle.

“Actually, I prefer to think of myself as inconveniently obnoxious to a fault.” Dante took the bag and drinks from the robo-cashier, “if my looks go, I still have my colorful personality.”

“You talking about when you get old, in a retirement home, and think techno is better than the music of the current day?” Dahlia asked in joking manner.

Dante nodded and lied easily, “and balding with a spare tire on my gut.”

Dahlia snorted on a laugh.

Dante reached in the bag and grabbed a chicken nugget, “where to now, pequeña pepita?”

“What does that mean?” Dahlia asked again.

“¿Pepita?” Dante flew down the colorful flyways that shimmered off the glass.

“Yes, what is pepita?” She ate a bite of a chicken nugget.

“You really want to know?” He glanced at her.

The rainbow of lights glowed around her as she nodded her head up and down.

Dante smirked, “you’re eating one.”

Dahlia stared at him, “I thought chicken was… something like pollo…?”

“It is,” Dante waited.

Dahlia blinked, “nugget?”

Dante tapped his nose, “little nugget.”

“Oh my gosh,” she laughed, “Is this high school?”

“What about princesa?” Dante teased, “¿cara de muñeca?”

“What is with the cheesy nicknames?” Dahlia asked through her fit of giggles.

“I like giving people that I like nicknames,” Dante shrugged, “don’t you?”

“They’re alright,” Dahlia said, “but I like your name, Dante.”

Dante smiled, “Dahlia, you are a kind, sweet, pequeña pepita.”

Dahlia smiled and passed him a nugget, “gracias.”

He stole a glance at her as he took the nugget, “de nada.”

***

After an hour of flying around, Dante pulled up to the curb of her apartment complex and let the thrusters idle.

“I had fun,” she spoke first.

“I did too,” Dante replied, “I’m glad you agreed to this…”

“Date?” Dahlia suggested.

“This date,” he agreed. “Thank you for going on this date with me.”

“Thank you for asking,” Dahlia opened the door, “and I’ll be at the bookstore tomorrow if you’re interested in seeing me again.”

Dante smiled, “I may be there.”

Dante went to turn off his brake when he noticed the song wasn’t techno, and his station was changed, “did you change m-“

Dahlia pressed her lips on his cheek quick, then ducked out just as fast as the kiss she gave him. Dante turned to the passenger window, and watched her press her thumb to the keypad and run inside smiling. The corners of lips began to tug upward and he felt his cheeks start to burn at the sensation, but couldn’t help but laugh a little at the circumstances.

Dante turned off the brake and dropped straight down, not entirely sure if the feeling in his stomach was butterflies or due to the rapid drop. Now flying back to the compound, he tapped the computer screen, saving the clean unaltered music station to his primary settings.

When he pulled into the block of maroon painted buildings down deep in the depths of the city, he began noticing difference he was once blind to. There was a darkness to criminal underworld, and a lack of unique people walking around to avoid standing out.

Dante sighed and turned into the scrapyard. He parked, and pulled his visor-phone out of his chest pocket, and the book from his glovebox. He put the visor on his head like they were sunglasses, and slid out of the driver’s seat.

Like always, he kept his head down to avoid looking at the exoskeletons hanging from the support poles. As he walked underneath, he noticed there was a fresh puddle of red with the dry stains. He wondered who got—as the boss put it—reprogrammed, but he dared not look up to see the fresh meat.

“Lad!” He felt Kevin wrap an arm around his shoulder, “where’ve you been? Find any babes?”

“No babes,” Dante replied tiredly.

“You sick, lad?” Kevin redirected Dante’s path.

“I went out for a bite,” Dante tried to turn back his other path.

“Hope it was good, the boss has a job,” Kevin shoved him in the elevator, “and he is not happy he had to wait this long.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Dante asked.

“Reasons.”

A chill ran up his spine, and he knew there was no job.

Dante went to run out of the elevator, only to feel a sharp pain slice through his body armor underneath his military vest. Dante stumbled to the side against the elevator’s wall, slipping down to the chrome floors as the doors sealed his fate.

“I hate to say it, but you changed,” Kevin wiped his blade on his pant leg, “in a rapid amount of time too, and it got me worried. I had to express my concerns to the boss, you understand? If the getaway driver goes soft, then who’s to say he won’t drive the criminals to the coppers? The boss doesn’t want to lose business, so we’re letting you go, amigo.”

Dante coughed, “you’re not my amigo.”

Kevin knelt down, “but I am. You see, I had been following you around since the retirement center, you just didn’t notice because you were looking at someone else.”

Dante lifted his head, “don’t talk about her.”

“Your girl is safe,” Kevin placed his knife to Dante’s neck, “and I’ll tell her how you asked me to take care of her.”

Without even thinking, Dante kicked Kevin’s ankle, and shoved him back. With the wind knocked out of him, it gave time for Dante to grab the knife and hide his glasses in his thigh pocket of his cargo pants. Kevin went to kick back, but Dante raised his leg and shoved his steel boot right into Kevin’s pale face, crushing his nose, then kicking again and burying his mustache into his skull.

Dante hit the emergency stop button, looking around the small area for a way out. He noticed the blood seeping through a crack in the floor, and used the knife to pry it open. Looking down the red lit bay, and seeing nothing to grab, he weighed the possibility he’d break a bone better than losing his life.

As he went down the shaft feet first, he knew the place would be loaded with other thugs and goons looking for him. He reached his hands out, and fingers slammed down on the ledge of one of the stops, making a painful crack and pop in several of his digits. He bit down on cheek, trying to distract himself from the pain he was feeling everywhere else.

He pulled himself up, and used the knife to pry the door open just enough to peep through and see the coast was clear, for the moment.

He pushed them open enough to slip through, and then ran into the corridor holding his side. Dante moved to a supply closet, and ducked inside. Flipping the switch, he was now under bright florescent lights that burned his eyes, with his only company being the cleaning supplies.

Sinking to the floor, Dante opened his vest and moved the Kevlar made armor aside to access the damage taken to his abdomen: The cut was deep.

Dante grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the bottle shelf, and poured some on the wound—wincing at the sting—and dug around for some sort of emergency kit that was stored throughout the compound. He found the metal case on the second shelf, and dug inside for a patch and settled for the gauze, tying it around his abdomen knowing it wouldn’t be enough to stop him from bleeding out.

Dante got up, and was struck by an idea.

He took his visor from his pocket, and as he grabbed every flammable bottle he could, he dialed the police.

***

Sneaking around and pouring every bottle of cleaner, bleach, and gasoline on every floor and stairway he went through as he hobbled his way back down to the ground level. His goal was to get to his vehicle, and drive away before the cops tracked his call back to the glasses he put into his chest pocket again.

He kept his hood up and head low as he walked along the side of the building with his last can of gasoline dripping on the ground. It seemed unrealistic, but he had no other idea how to get his past mistakes to stay in the past other than to blow them up.

Dante could see his car, just beyond the hanging exoskeletons and groups of members looking for him. As he walked under the display of dead henchmen, he wondered how this place lasted so long if they were able let him slip through so easily. By thinking about it, he realized he made a mistake because he began to notice the men casually moving toward him.

He paused, wondering what to do now.

A drop of blood dripped onto his shoulder. It was a fate he didn’t want, and he did not put this much work in to be stuffed into an exoskeleton and rot there in front of everyone. With a sigh, he concluded he wasn’t going to the bookstore the next night, and seeing Dahlia again.

He dropped the can, and then lit a match.

He heard the sirens before the boom.

***

Dante woke up.

Judging by the bright white lights, he assumed he was dead. The light back and forth in his field of vision, before he could make out the person behind it was a doctor in a surgical mask.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

Dante tried to speak, but his chest felt heavy and the sound was the air escaping his throat.

The doctor clicked the light off, and began using it to write on his holoscreen projecting from his watch. “As of now, you’re John Doe, seeing as you’re so disfigured that not even a face scan or finger scan can identify you. Those new lungs and respirator will take some getting use to as well, please wait here, I will be back with nurse bot to perform a retina scan.”

Despite what the doctor said, Dante still tried to get up, only to find himself handcuffed to the hospital bed. He painfully sat up enough to see his arm, wrapped in bandages that had blood still blooming from his skin. He could see his fingertips, they were raw and bright red like a boiled lobster.

Dante felt a noise boil up inside him, starting at his stomach and working its way up into his chest, into his throat and out his mouth in a blood curdling scream, as he thrashed and flailed in the bed.

He knew he wanted to live, but this was not how he wanted to be alive.

The doctor returned, shoving a mask over Dante’s screaming mouth and putting him back to sleep.

***

Ever since Dante woke up again, he was being hounded by doctors, police, and bots.

They knew who he was, but they couldn’t place how he fit into the explosion. Their technology was smart enough to trace his call, figure out the source of the explosion, and keep him alive, but not smart enough to know what came over him to betray his criminal family.

That was fine with Dante. If they couldn’t make him talk, he wasn’t telling them it was because he chose to hide out in a bookstore.

Every day that passed, the more hounding the questions got until they left him alone to stare at the ceiling.

He was in the middle of counting the specs in those forty-four tiles, when a human aid in all white dropped off his food with a replacement vase of flowers. The flowers came in patterns he noticed, and since last week was tulips, this week would be roses.

Today they were something he never seen before.

Dante gave the vase a side-eye, “those aren’t roses.”

“It’s another aid’s birthday this week,” the aid said dismissively as she sat his bed up, “you’re in a chatty mood today, Mr. Perez.”

“What are those?” He ignored her comment.

“Dahlias,” the aid answered, “the staff thought it’d be funny since it is her name.”

Dante turned to the aid, “did she work in a retirement center?”

The aid stepped back, her actions were his answer. “Enjoy your lunch, Mr. Perez.”

Dante watched her leave coldly, then turned back to the rainbow of little buds of petals poking out of the rich green leaves. The sight made him smile a little, before the guilt blanketed him and he rolled away, putting his back to the dahlias.

***

The same aid was back later with the doctor to remove the bandages.

While the doctor snipped the gauze around his face, Dante looked everywhere else but at the mirror the aid was holding up. He already didn’t like seeing his tan skin bright red with the bandages on, he didn’t want to see what was left now that the rawness faded away.

He tried staring at the ceiling, but the doctor’s head kept getting in his field of view, same as the aid. He looked to the doorway, seeing bots on their tracks carrying medications and food to other burn victims. They loyally followed an aid in a mixture of modern technological styles, plain colorless scrubs, and flashback styles from eras he never witnessed in his lifetime.

The bandage went in front of his eyes, and in when he looked again a girl with hair the color of sand was at the bots’ station presetting the program for her robo-companion. The bandage went in his sightline again, as she turned her head.

“His pulse has elevated,” the aid warned.

“Nothing to worry about,” the Doctor said stepping back.

Dante sat up, ignoring the mirror offered to him. He couldn’t see her anymore, and he wasn’t even sure if it was Dahlia, but she was the first person he saw in the hospital wearing a tea dress like that.

“Mr. Perez,” the doctor interrupted his thoughts. “Would like to take a look?”

The aid held up the mirror.

Dante reached out taking the mirror in his shiny misshapen hand. He turned the mirror over, seeing a face that had the same texture as his hand, and details melted down like he was made of wax. The only part of him that stayed was his hazel eyes, but even so they looked vastly different on his new face.

“In time, the pain will be more bearable and when you get out jail you could get reconstructive surgery,” the Doctor explained, “sooner if you cooperate with the police, maybe.”

Dante glanced up, she was back hugging a book to her chest.

“Mr. Perez, do you want to issue a statement to the police?” the Doctor pressed.

She brushed her hand over her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. As soon as he saw that freckled nose and pink pout, he knew it was her.

“Mr. Perez?” the aid looked at the monitor, “are you feeling alright?”

Dante curled his wrist back, and tossed the mirror out the door like a Frisbee, cutting her off. She jumped back with a surprised yelp, and a security bot hovered past her into the room.

“Mr. Perez!” The doctor scolded.

“What is the situation?” The bot demanded.

Dahlia picked up the mirror, and walked to the doorway. “Is he alright?”

“Everything is fine,” the aid shooed Dahlia, “this guy is just disturbed.”

Dahlia stepped inside, “that is very nice to say. First time seeing your new look… mister?”

“Dante.”

She froze, “Dante…?”

“Do you know him?” the aid asked.

Dahlia ignored her, and sat down on the edge of the bed, “Dante… is that… is that really you?”

“I’m so sorry, pequeña pepita,” he said quietly.

The Doctor squeezed Dahlia’s shoulder, “Miss Collins, do you know this man?”

Dahlia looked around at the room. She took in where she was and the security measures taken to keep Dante from leaving, all the while pretending he was a normal burn patient. She then turned back to Dante teary eyed, “no.”

Dante felt his smile he didn’t know he had fall, “but Dahlia… I like you. Please don’t do this to me.”

The Doctor pulled Dahlia up, “time to go, Mr. Perez needs to be left alone now.”

“Dahlia, wait.” Dante sat up as much as he could, reaching out as far as his restraints would let him, “please let me explain.”

The security bot led them out, with Dahlia last to leave.

She turned back, with her arms hanging at her sides, “pero… yo quiero.”

“You want to know me?” Dante held his breath.

Dahlia cracked a small smile, “that’s what I said, isn’t it?” she slowly shut the door, “tell me what you think, it’s my favorite story.”

Dante looked down at where she once sat, finding the book he picked out the day he met her, right in his reach.

#caribou stories #the last known flower

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lukawodric · 6 years ago

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(vatreniworld) #44 with Lucelo (otp/brotp/whatever you like) :)

i’ve added some other madridistas to join this weird story and i hope you like it!Trick-or-…trick!(44. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.)With: Luka Modric, Marcelo Vieira, Karim Benzema, Raphael Varane, Toni Kroos, Gareth Bale & Marco Asensio!

The week has brought RealMadrid two difficult matches. It wasn’t the time to overthink the goals allover again, due to the tiredness that was consuming everybody, little by little.

The atmosphere was heavy and dull. The boys were running during the trainingsession like their legs were going to melt at any time. Their faces were asgood as Lopetegui’s expression when he watched all the balls getting into Keylor’sgoal. And then the balls hitting Courtois’ net.

In the locker room, Casemiro entered and met Luka, sitting on the wooden benchand drinking the blue isotonic. “It sucks, huh?” Luka sighed. “Yeah, bro. It really does. Everyone’s mood is killing the whole vibe.”Casemiro vented. He opened his wardrobe, took his jersey and then roughly closedit, making a loud sound of it.“But what can we do? There’s no way to turn this around.” Luka left his emptybottle aside and got up. “The day is so damn sad that Marcelo is 5 minuteslate.” He pointed at the clock.“You’re right.” Casemiro laughed. “I mean, the guy is the craziest one aboutthis team and is always here in time…-”“Imma tell ya, Lopetegui will definitely punish him as soon as he gets here.” Thistime, Luka’s wardrobe got opened and he started looking for his headband.“Or… maybe we can punish him.” Casemiro suggested.Luka slowly moved his head to stare at a thoughtful Casemiro, walking aroundthe room with an idea inside his mind.“W-what… what do you mean?” Luka questioned. “Do… you wanna fight him? Knockhim down or what? Don’t count me in!”“No, Lukita. Obviously not!” He interrupted. “Think about it: everybody’sfeeling sad as f*ck and maybe we can cheer this training up… just a little bit…”“I’m listening and I’m not really liking the pictures on my imagination.” Lukaprotested.“LISTEN. JUST LISTEN! We can play some tricks on Marcelo and also entertainthose men with a good soap opera.” Casemiro placed his fingers on his chinmeanwhile planning it all.“Are we going to sit down on the field and watch a Netflix s-“ Luka was stilltrying to figure it out.“Thank your dad for keeping you this naive, Luka. That’s not it. What about wepretend that you got hurt during the exercises for Marcelo to think that there’ssomething wrong?” The number 14 implied. “I’M IN!” Toni announced, while breaking into the locker room.“What?! Do you actually think that’s a good idea?” Luka asked.“Uhm… yes?” Raphael followed Toni. “C’mon, we need to get distracted somehow.”“And you know who had the injury that worried Marcelo the most?” Benzema asked,bringing his pair of boots on his hands.“No… no way I’m buying this silly game. What if he believes this kind of crap?”Luka started getting outraged.“Hello? That’s the intention, genius.” Asensio came out of nowhere, throwingthe ball right into Luka’s direction.“Guys, take it easy on him. Luka isn’t the player/actor type of person.” Garethjoined the locker room group. “Thank you, Bale. Are you with me?” Luka sighed in relief, holding the ball. “Are you kidding me? This plan sounds great! I’m in too.” Bale smashed his handagainst Casemiro’s, smiling.“Can someone else play the main drama part?” Luka begged and everyone kepttheir words for themselves. “Nice.”“Don’t you wanna bring this team back from the dead?” Benzema asked, taking theball from his hands.“Yes, I do… however-“ Luka tried to prolong.“THEN GOOD! Let’s do it.” Toni hit his back twice, making him step forwards tokeep his body still up.All of the boys started clapping and leaving the room to the field. Luka kepthimself steady, thinking about how pissed he would be if it happened to him.But he also considered the fact that Marcelo used to be so cool about jokesbetween them… and so did Luka. Wasn’t friendship also about playing littletricks? Maybe it’d cheer Marcelo’s feelings up too.A hand tightly held his arm, bringing him back to reality.“Oh good, is it the devil trying to drag me down for this?” Luka thought.The hand pulled him. “C’mon you dipshit, Marcelo has arrived.” Marco dragged him to the field.

Marcelo was greeting the guys, holding his backpack with a discouraged attitude.When his eyes met Luka’s, he walked in his direction and offered his left hand.“Hey, Lukita!” He forced a smile. “Hey… bro.” Luka squeezed his hand. For almost 1 minute.“Ah… are you okay?” Marcelo asked.“Yes. I’m alright. Fine. Nothing wrong.” He replied. “Then why are you still shaking hands with me?” Marcelo got confused.

In the background, Luka could only see Toni facepalming. Casemiro had his armscrossed and nodding his head in denial.

“It’s because… I missed you! Come here and hug me.” Luka pulled Marcelo andgave him the most awkward hug ever. “Th- g-ys are trying to pl-y a tr-ck on ya.”He tried to warn.“Lukita… WHAT?” He yelled. “Are you drunk before 2pm?”Gareth noticed that Luka wanted to ruin the plan and pushed him away fromMarcelo’s arms. “No, he’s not. He’s justrecovering from the trauma.” Asensio pressed Luka’s shoulder. “You know, those twomatches…” Harder. Luka squeaked. “Alright then… I’ll start warming up, otherwise Julen will kick somethingbesides the ball.” He left.“What were you trying to do?” Gareth asked while placing his hands on hiswaist.“Have you looked at him? He’s not fine.” Luka justified. “We should mindserious business-““For God’s sake, is just a game!” Raphael appeared, insisting on the tricks.“The plan is: we’ll start with that spot kicking exercise and when you make amove, you’ll fall and act like you’re in pain.” Casemiro started. “And then we’ll all check upon you, asking how are you doing and stuff. WhenMarcelo comes to you, act your ass off!” Karim added.“For how long am I supposed to prolong this theatre?” Luka rolled his eyes.“Until he starts crying.” Bale finished.“Let’s go?” Toni suggested.

Theystarted walking to their positions. One by one, they kicked the ball, keepingone eye at the goal’s direction and the other eye on Luka, just to make sure hewouldn’t dare messing up with the plan again.When Luka’s turn came in, he kicked the ball as strong as he could, so maybe he’dbe able to improve the whole acting with some real pain.

The ball flied all the way over the goal… and hit the crossbar. All of a sudden, everything went black and he felt his body hitting the ground.Like a boomerang, the ball made the way back right against Luka’s forehead,making the sound of the bone being pressed by the object echoes throughout thestadium.

From afar, the boys saw his blond hair moving in slowmotion when his body startedgoing down. Toni facepalmed again; Casemiro and Marco covered their mouths in surprise; Raphaelmoved his hands through his hair; Benzema and Gareth with their eyes wide opencould only whisper one word: “f*ck!”; Marcelo rushed his steps to see themassacre closer.

Luka swore for God that he saw more stars than the whole NASA team has everseen. The birds from the cartoons became reality on his imagination. His eyeswere crossed and his forehead had instantly got red.

“Lukita!” Marcelo called him. “Big bro… is everything alright?” “Dad?” Luka asked.“How many fingers am I holding up?” The number 12 tried to test his sanity.“One, two, three, four… thousand…” Luka started pointing and counting. “Oh,your hair is looking good today. Have you tried that expensive shampoo thatGareth uses?” He changed the subject.

The boys arrived.Toni poked Luka’s arm. “What have you done?”“Not so much lately, what about you?” Totally nonsense, he responded. “Come here. Hold my hand, let’s get up!” Casemiro gave his hand. “No! No… I like in here. Can I stay here?” Luka inquired, avoiding fromCasemiro’s touch.“Is everything alright?” Varane questioned, getting down on his knees.“It’s dizzy… and dark… I think I’m passing out…” Luka tried to organize histhoughts. “I could literally feel my brain shaking and probably something isout of its place…”

While Luka started murmuring sentences in croatian, Karim went out to look forhelp.

“Marcelito… big bro… let me ask you a favor…” Luka pulled Marcelo, grabbing hisshirt. He almost fell over his chest. “Tell Ivano that I love him and tell himto tell his sisters that I love them too…” “Luka?! Stop kidding, you’re not going to die… a-are you?” He started to feelmore concerned about the situation.“I don’t know… I-I can’t… move…” Luka informed and then closed his eyes.“Are you listening to this?” Marcelo turned his head to face the other boys. “He’stalking pure sh… Luka?” He glanced at his face again. “LUKA? Luka that’s not funny!” Shaking his body, Marcelo immediately shouted. “ANSWER ME, YOU TINYB*TCH! YOU CAN’T DIE! OPEN YOUR F*CKING EYES RIGHT NOW!”

Casemiro gave himself the benefit of the doubt. “Is this man the greatest actorever or the unluckiest guy in the world?” He thought quietly.

“TELL ME YOU’RE ALIVE!” Yelling and completely out of control, Marcelo startedslapping Luka’s face, trying to wake him up. “YOU CAN’T BE DEAD. YOU CAN’T!HAVE YOU HEARD ME? IF YOU DIE, I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”

Everybody stopped walking side to side and stared at Marcelo. He listened to athousand different types of “what?” coming out uninterruptedly from everyone’smouths.

“What?” Luka joined. “I SAID THAT wait, are you alive?” He directed his attention back at him.“Pretty much…” The Croatian one moved his body up, sitting down and quickly blinking.Marcelo helped him to get up.“I thought you were f*cking dead! You scared the hell outta me-““I just needed to close my eyes. The sun was burning them into flames… by theway, are they red?” He interrupted and pulled the skin under his eyes forMarcelo to check them up. “No, they aren’t!” Marcelo slapped him one more time, this time on his hands. “Butyour forehead is.”“It was all a plan. We were trying to play some tricks on you…” Casemiro nervouslylaughed and touched Marcelo’s shoulder.“We just wanted to get rid of this sad mood from the matches…” Toni added.“We just didn’t know that things were going to happen like this…” Varane ended. “So… your eyes aren’t red. Your forehead is.” Marcelo concluded. “Apparently…” Luka followed him.“But your face can get as red as your forehead, can’t it?” He asked, catchingthe ball.“Well, only if the ball hit me ag…-“ Luka couldn’t even finish the sentence andstarted running away as fast as possible.

“Hey guys! The doctor is here to see how is Luka doing…” Benzema announced,bringing the help he went out to search for. He saw Luka running. “Well, heseems alright to me!” He laughed and tapped the doctor’s back, as a silentwarning that he could get back to what he was doing before… and then he sawMarcelo holding the ball on his hands. “Wait! Actually, you can stay and hopefor the best, just like us.”

#my imagines #luka modric #marco asensio #gareth bale #marcelo vieira #raphael varane #casemiro #karim benzema #toni kroos #real madrid #mine #requested #luka modric imagine #luka modric headcanon #real madrid imagine #real madrid headcanon

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smokeybrand · 6 years ago

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: You've Got The Touch

I’ve decided i’m in love with Hailee Steinfeld. Ma has dusty two of my favorite franchises with her magic and they are shining real bright right now. She was spectacular as Spider-Gwen (or, Ghost Spider, as she’s adopted after this nonsense Spider-Geddon event) and, with Bumblebee, she does it again. This movie was good. So good! and, yes, that was a Spider-Man 3 reference. I’m about that life!

The Great

Everything about Cybertron. Everything. All of it. I was loosing my sh*t when Wheeljack and Arcee showed up. They were GLORIOUS! and the Seekers? Oh, sh*t and Ravage?? No, f*ck that! Actual Soundwave! I was a little bummed Screamer didn’t get a speaking role but watching the Seekers take off on Shockwave’s order was beautiful. I dropped a single, manly, tear of joy.

All of the redesigns are perfect. The proportions look right and the kibble. Oh, the kibble! You can actually see what part goes where and how they go from vehicle to robot. Bay did this for, like, two movies and then he just gave up on it. Not here. Travis Knight actually decided to, you know, have is Transformers, transform. Good call.

Speaking of Knight, he did a fantastic job directing this flick. It’s paced beautifully and the action is very grounded. There are some issues that crop up here and there, mostly continuity stuff, but nothing as egregious as what Bay gave us. In a lot of ways, this is an anti-Bayformer movie and it’s one hundred percent better than all of them. It’s staggering how good this concept can be realized when given to an actual director of film and not some SFX loving jackass who doesn’t know the difference between executing a narrative and stringing along a ton of f*cking explosions.

I touched on this in the opening, but Hailee Steinfeld was amazing in this. Her Charlie Watson was a combination of the best parts of Sam Witwicky and Mikaela Banes. She was smart, gorgeous, funny, capable, and not at all superfluous. There was actual sh*t for her to do and, as a character, has ends her f*cking arc with actual growth! She legitimately ended up in a completely different place than from where she started and it i was glorious! Thank you, Hailee Steinfeld, for being good at your job and not phoning sh*t in for a check. I will love you forever.

This is an actual, honest-to-goodness, movie. It has a plot, stakes, and proper narrative. Sh*t that gets called out in the first act, actually comes into pay in the third. There are relevant scenarios and relationships that matter outside of the core, main, cast. Everyone has agency in this. The characters feel like real people and not just superheroes who are immune to everything because of plot armor. it’s not just a series of million dollar set pieces, sprinkled with explosions and sexism, strung together by the flimsiest of coincidences. There’s no mcguffin, just legit pathos and consequence and i’ve waited my entire life for this sh*t!

The Good

For a flick that started off as a prequel, then became kind of a re boot that had to go into re-shoots and whatnot, this motherf*cker is absolutely solid. It holds up much better than ll of the Star Wars abortions. Still, you can ind of see where they wanted to go in regards to connecting with the Bayformer franchise. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary anymore.

The soundtrack was pretty interesting. There was a ton of 80s juice and, being a kid from that era in love with all of the synthpunk and whatnot, i dug it. Kind of feel like it could have been a little better though.

There are a ton of one-off supporting characters that do a decent job but the fact they’re so disposable seemed like a missed opportunity. Like, a little more time with the bullies could have made the resolution to that particular plot point a little more gratifying.

The Meh

Dirge wasn’t Starscream and that sucked but Screamer had a pretty dope cameo and that was dope but i gotta wait until a goddamn sequel to get my boy onscreen, proper.

John Cena is kind of a one-note actor. He’s never not playing a soldier. I get that’s why got him over in the WWF but really bro? Is that the extent of your range? I hear he did alright in Blockers and that Amy Schumer vehicle but those were both sh*tty films that i passed on. All i know him from is this, the WWF, and that weird movie they released where he was in the Woods? maybe he was AWOL? i dunnno, but he’s ALWAYS a soldier and that’s whack, son.

The Verdict

Bumblebee is f*cking awesome! I've waited 30 goddamn years to get a great, live action, Transformers movie and this one is it!There are some issues with certain characters and it totally feels like an Iron Giant/E.T. rehash but that kind of falls by the wayside when this thing hits it’s stride. There are a few plotholes here and there, nothing too major or that will take you out of the flick if you can suspend your disbelief, something that EVERYONE should be able to do with ease after those god awful Bayformer sequels. F*ck Michael Bay, man! This is a G1 fan's (me) wet dream! There are so many Easter eggs and little nods to all of the franchises. Bee is adorable, Charlie is a bad ass, and Jack Burns doesn’t overstay his welcome. It also makes my top 10 list for 2018. Bumblebee, darkhorsing the list like a champ! Check this one out! Seriously, this one lives up to the hype.

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shtcablogs · 6 years ago

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All The Times I Lost My Sh*t While Watching ‘thank u, next’

Our Heavenly Father Ariana Grande has blessed us mortals with first musical and now visual perfection via ‘thank u, next’. If you haven’t seen the music video yet, then what the hell are you doing reading my blog? Go watch something that’s actually worth your time.

If you lived in a bunker Kimmy Schmidt style for all of the early 2000s, I’ll quickly break down the parodies in this video for you. We start with “Mean Girls” - the gossip montage, the Plastics, and the winter talent show scene - more on that later. Then we hit “Bring It On” - the flirty toothbrush scene and the Toros cheerleaders. Then we’ve got “13 Going on 30″ - the part where Jennifer Garner crashes her childhood best friend’s wedding and cries into her old dollhouse. Lastly, my personal favorite of the bunch, “Legally Blonde”. Ari pulls up with Bruiser, gets her nails done, sunbathes on the lawn, etc. The entire video is a mash-up recreating scenes from those four movies. Now what you came here for, the 20 moments from the TUN video where I straight up lost my shit, chronologically. Here we go.

1. AARON SAMUELS

You give us Aaron Samuels within the first 20 seconds? Right then and there I knew this music video would change my life. I hope Ari tapped that.

2. WIDE SET VAGINA GIRL

You know this chick from “Mean Girls”, or you at least know her famous quotes from the film. “I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops. So I bought army pants and flip flops.” “I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.” This girl isn’t even named in the movie but her quotes are still relevant 15 years later.

3. MEAN GIRLS FONT

Damn this font gets me hype. What a f*cking mash-up.

4. THE BURN BOOK

Literally all I want to do on a Friday night is scrapbook with Ariana Grande about our ex-boyfriends. Her burn book would be a lot thicker and more attractive than mine, but that’s another story.

5. SEAN’S PAGE

Hello, this is the shit I live for. This is Big Sean’s page, Ariana’s first real famous boyfriend. It reads “Sean [heart] / so cute / so sweet / (could still get it)”. COULD STILL GET IT!!! OKAY ARI!!!!! But yeah I don’t blame you, he could get it from me, too.

6. “SRY I DIPPED”

We’re now onto Pete Davidson’s page. On the top, Ari writes “sry I dipped”. SORRY I DIPPED. I noticed this blurb the very first time I watched the video with my friend Lardia. “HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE WROTE ON PETE’S PAGE? REWIND IT!” and then we laughed for a solid minute. Such a savage and nonchalant thing to say. You were engaged to this dude, for crying out loud. I love it.

7. HUUUUGE

Also on Pete’s page, “HUUUUGE” with four U’s. She broke the dude’s heart, but I think this kind of makes up for it. She just informed the entire world that her ex is packing major heat. Good for you, Pete Davidson. Cash in on this attention.

8. KAREN CHECKING THE WEATHER

“It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.”

9. THE JINGLE BELL ROCK

Definitely one of the most memorable scenes from “Mean Girls”, the winter talent show where the Plastics dance to “Jingle Bell Rock”. I love twerking to Christmas music.

10. YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING. I screamed so loud when I first saw this that I woke my neighbor’s baby. Having Kris Jenner parody Amy Poehler’s role of Regina’s mom in “Mean Girls” is the most genius idea of the 21st century. Kris is often compared to Regina’s mom, mostly for an early episode of KUWTK where Kim poses for Playboy and Kris films her from the sidelines with a camera phone. And that’s where “You’re doing amazing, sweetie” was born.

11. I’M A COOL MOM

This KJ dancing GIF is everything to me. The hoop earrings, velour tracksuit, old school camcorder, it’s a f*cking look and she pulls it off like no other. My only dream in life is to become famous enough that Kris Jenner will agree to make a cameo in one of my projects. And then we become best friends and spend our days drinking dry martinis and handling crises. She then decides that the family has gotten too large for her to manage alone. We become business partners. I manage all of the grandkids. I constantly pit them against one another so they’ll work harder and maintain that competitive edge. They call me Aunt CA. Kris becomes older and starts forgetting things like how to work the ice machine and the names of Kim’s ex-husbands. She doesn’t trust anyone but me to take care of her, so I move in. I legally change my last name to Kardashian. Kris passes at the age of 96. I grieve for months but finally find the strength to go on. Business must resume, that’s what Kris would want. I continue her legacy and the grandkids become even more famous than their parents. The Kardashians/Jenners/Disicks/Wests/Thompsons/Websters/whoever the fuck else they decide to have kids with are a multi-generational dynasty thanks to Kris and her apprentice, me. I wear a “What Would Kris Jenner Do” gold diamond bracelet and look at it every day and think fondly of the great times we had together. She may be gone, but she will never be forgotten.

Jesus Christ. Talk about a rabbit hole. Back to the music video.

12. THE TOROS

“I’m sexy, I’m cute. I’m popular to boot! I’m bitchin’, great hair. The boys all love to stare!” Classic film. Extra points for the pregnant cheerleader. That shit’s hilarious. Also I’ve never seen anything cuter than tiny ass Ariana Grande in a cheer uniform.

13. SUNBATHING AT HARVARD

ICONIC. Legally Blonde is one of my all time favorite movies, mainly for Elle’s wardrobe and hilarious antics like laying out/studying in the middle of campus and going to buy a Macbook wearing a bunny costume. This is definitely one of the best shots in the music video.

14. PAULETTE

HOLY SHIT IT’S THE REAL PAULETTE. Jennifer Coolidge is freaking hilarious and masterfully played one of the funniest characters of all time IMO. The mid-music video convo with Ari and Paulette in the nail salon had me rolling. “Well, I’ve only gone out with one guy that had a big front tooth, and I liked it cause he never got anything stuck in the front teeth. Have you ever gone out with someone that had no teeth at all?” So silly but in the best way.

15. THE DOLLHOUSE

Ah, the good ol’ dollhouse from 13 Going On 30. Ariana looks so simple and innocent in this costume, it’s so unlike the rest of the video. I loved the single tear rolling down her cheek.

16. BRUISER ON A POOL FLOAT

Of course they needed a Bruiser. I will say, that’s a big fuckin’ chihuahua. It’s gotta be someone related to this video’s dog, because surely they could’ve cast a more normal sized chihuahua?

17. THE BEND AND SNAP

YASSSSSS. Ari’s got the best bend and snap I’ve ever seen, other than maybe Elle Woods herself. Also I just noticed that lady in the purple jumpsuit and beaded braids looks identical to the woman in the movie from this scene. It’s all recreated to perfection.

18. THE UPS GUY

Zamnnnn get it, Paulette. UPS guy is a smokeshow. “I’ve got a package.” “He’s got a package.”

19. F*CK YOU

Mood always. Just me in my dorm room, working on my fitness, studying for my Torts final, wearing a crop top, flicking off the haters.

20. THANK U NEXT, BITCH

youtube

BEST PART OF THE VIDEO. NOTHING WILL EVER COMPARE. MY NEW RINGTONE. HISTORIANS GET OUT YOUR PENS. KRIS JENNER JUST WON 2018.

THANK U NEXT, BITCH!

In the name of breaking the internet,

#ari #ariana grande #thank u next #thank u next bitch #thank u next video #lost my shit #kris jenner #legally blonde #bring it on #mean girls #13 going on 30 #list #celebs

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stevenrogers5-blog · 7 years ago

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I just f*cking love you!

Summary: You and Kylo have a lazy day, sharing and just loving each other

Warnings: SMUT! Female receiving. SMUTTY. Penetration. Fluff. Love.

A/N: i have been in such a KYLO REN MOOD. Please excuse me. I may write a few more. Maybe become a multi fan account.... mainly Marvel still though.

You were seated upon the black sheets, sighing as you scanned through the files. Being Kylo’s wife and co-worker had its advantages and disadvantages. And today was a disadvantage. Or so you thought. Because, while he was out with the everyone, you were stuck inside working on his paper work. You rolled your eyes as your eyes start to get tired. Why did you even-

“Please finish that sentence.” Kylo grumbled as he walked through the door. You just ignored him and continued to work. You scrolled through one of the pages as Kylo stripped of his clothing. Your eyes wander to him. Damn, why does he gotta do you like that?

A smirk found its way to his face, causing him to turn to you. You instantly go back to the page in front of you. He takes his gloves off, chuckling to himself.

“You do remember i can read your thoughts my love? Right?” He questioned as he slipped his boots off. You bite your lip, trying very hard to keep your eyes on the page. But before you knew it, your head was moving against your will to face him. “Right?”

“Of course Kylo.” You gulped, making eye contact with his dark eyes. He smiles satisfied before letting your head go. You sigh as your head drops slightly. “Why do you do that to me? I am your wife for heaven's sake!!”

“Because, it’s easier than walking across the room, grabbing your face when i am all the way over here.” He simply answered as he finished getting ready to crawl into bed. Why are you even here? Don’t you have other things to be doing?! “Because, i wanted to see my wife at least once today.”

“STOP IT!” You exclaimed. He just laughed as he finally moved to the bed. He stood at the foot of it, just in front of you. You huff, giving him a dirty look, before scooting further back into the bed with all of your paperwork. Your back hit the pillows and you leaned into them.

“I see one of us hasn’t left this spot for a while? Seeing you’re still in your underwear and one of MY shirts.” Kylo snarcks before putting his knees on the bed. He soon got on his hands and started to crawl towards you. You clench your jaw, trying to ignore the man coming at you. You pressed your legs hard against each other as you know his attacks. But you also know that your body is not strong against his powers.

“Kylo..” You whined as he pushes his hand out, spreading your legs instantly without even making physical contact. He keeps them open before his body was sat in between them. He looked down at you with a sweet smile. One you only got to see.

“What?” He asked. You sighed. He soon stretched his legs behind him and under the covers, laying his head on your tummy and wrapping his arms around your back. You sighed once more, but more contently as his actions didn’t end up playing out the way you thought. “Don’t worry darling. I just want to rest right now.”

“And not help me?” You asked, looking down at your husband. You loved this side of him. The side where he was cuddly. Warm. Loving. And although you loved how strong and powerful and dark he could get. You still loved his soft side a little more. And you were so thankful that he showed it to you. You knew how hard it was for him to open up to new people. He always feared they would just judge him without giving him a chance to truly explain himself.

He just sighed, wrapping his arms a little tighter around your body. He moved his head around before finally settling his movements. “I am gonna take that as a no.”

“I would. But Hux has been on me the moment i left this room. I just want to snuggle and ignore the universe for a little bit. I feel the most at peace when i am in your presents. And most sane when i am in your arms.” He spilled tiredly, his eyes getting heavier with each word. As your heart melted with each word spilled. You go to speak but his soft snores soon take over the conversation. You still smiled to yourself as your husband slept happily in between your legs.

A good two hours later and somehow the work made its way to his side of the bed as you both were asleep. You shifted slightly in your sleep, earning a soft groan from Kylo. His sleeping mind caused him to tighten his arms around you, as of some sort of protection. Your sleeping body twisted against the pressure of his grip. His face scrunched up at your actions. So he tightened his grip even more.

Your eyes open tiredly, your mind trying to figure out why you were losing more air than gaining. You shifted tiredly, feeling the heavy weight of your husband's body against your lower half. You mindlessly look down at your sleeping husband. For some reason, every move you made, his grip got tighter. You tried wiggling yourself against his grip but he was soon forming bruises into your skin. You whelp loudly out in pain.

“Wh- wha-what is it?” Kylo shoot up, his black hair framing his face messily. You sigh in relief as the pressure had finally left your body. He looks up at your face with a confused look. “Are you okay??!”

“You were dreaming about something. Because of it, you kept gripping my body so hard that you might have left a bruise.” You reply sleepily. He gives you a sad look before turning away from you. You sit up slowly, reaching out for his body. “Ky…. Come on. What was it about?”

“Hux has put this silly little thought in my head that i could lose you at any second if i just lost it at the right time. So i dreamt that we were arguing..” You hear a hint of his sadness through a slight voice crack. “And you went to go leave and my anger got the best of me..” He trails off as he looks at you with tear filled eyes. One slips silently, catching on your thumb as your wipe it away. You pull at his arm, causing him to move his body to face you. You crawl into his lap and straddle him. You stretch your legs behind him as he stretches his behind you.

“Please go on..” You mumble. He looks at you with pained eyes.

“I choked you, with the force, till you were gone. Then when i realized what i had done, it was too late. Your lifeless body....” he mumbles as more tears slip from his eyes. You catch them each with your fingers, wiping them away from his face. “You were gone, Y/N. No matter how hard i tried to save you. You were… gone.” He cries out, laying his forehead against your shoulder as he lost it in his sobs. He wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you closer.

Kylo never got like this unless he was really stressed and finally ready to peel back one more layer of his real struggles in life. He hated being vulnerable. No matter the person. He didn’t want you to see your husband as some weak human. But these were the most amazing moments of your marriage. These moments were why you married him in the first place.

“Ky…” you said comfortingly as you rub his back. He just sobs. “Kylo. But i am perfectly okay. Don’t let that silly Hux get to you!! He is a pathetic child. You’re an amazing man. We have had arguments before and you’ve learned to walk away. Don’t let him make you feel so low. It’s not your fault he can’t get someone to love.” His sobs soon settle before he finally looks back up at your face.

“I just… i hate feeling like this. So lost and alone…” He whispers as he sets his forehead against yours.

“You aren’t alone. You just feel like that because you had spent all those years locked in your own brain and never understanding what was to become of those thoughts. You’re a very powerful yet sweet man. Strong yet so gentle.” You whisper back. You feel his hot breath hit your face. He pulls away just slightly, looking you deep in the eyes. He licks his lips and grabs your face softly. Ignore a man who can’t even get a girl to make love to him.

Kylo laughs lightly at your thought before connecting your lips. Your hands roam from his back up to the back of his head. You run your fingers through his hair as you get caught up in what was meant to be a simple symbol of your love. You start to grinding against him, your legs coming closer to his body. He growls warningly as he soon starts to bring his hips to meet yours. You moan softly against his lips. He takes this to his advantage, slipping his tongue into the kiss. You guys both soon fight for dominance as your grinding gets rougher.

Kylo’s hands run down your back and under your shirt. He carries them up your back and uses the force to unhook your bra. His hands soon make their way under the looser fabric. He pinches your nipples, earning another moan into his mouth from you. He soon breaks from the kiss so he can rip the shirt and bra from your body. This leaves you in only your underwear. You gasp at the cold air as it soon forms goosebumps across your skin.

“Kylo…” You moan, grinding into him as you soon feel one of his hands go down your stomach and just under your underwear band. His other hand teases your nipples. The hand in your underwear explores down enough to allow his fingers to find their way in your folds. You moan as you halt your grinding motion.

“Little girl, You’re so wet, so fast.” Kylo growled into your ear. “But why so fast?” You try to answer his question but his finger soon finds its way into your slit. You rest your forehead against his chest while he worked skillfully on you. Kylo was the first and definitely the last man to ever touch you. So it was no problem when trying to figure out what you needed. And although it may sound completely vanilla after a while, he still found ways to make it interesting. Not that you didn’t love the slow, really intimate moments. Those were some of the best because he gave his all into it. And not to say you didn’t love it when you would be sitting on the bed and soon being dragged in his direction by the force just so he could fuck you hard against a wall so he could get his anger out.

He worked slowly as you rod his fingers lazily. The beautiful warmth and pressure slowly growing in the pit of your stomach and lacing around the thoughts of his fingers.

“If you keep thinking those naughty thoughts, you will have me cumming in my pants.” Kylo mumbles lowly in your ear. You bite your lip as you tried so hard to push them from your thoughts. “Y/N..” He warns once more. But before you could finish your thoughts, your brain goes blank as your walls clench around his fingers. You close your eyes as you roll your head back in ecstacy. You slow your hips down as your brain loses itself.

“You’re just so beautiful.” Kylo whispered in your ear as you lazily unlaced yourself from him. You smile lazily at him as you laid, half naked, beside his sitting body. You trace circles on his bare back as he looks down at you. He moves his body and is soon above you. You spread your legs so he can fit his lower half perfectly in between them. He kisses you tiredly but soon makes his attack down your chin to your neck. He traces the whole outline of your neck before finding your sweet spot. You gasp, your legs wrapping themselves around his body. Your arms, wrapped around the back of his head, pressing his head harder against your skin. Your fingers play with his hair as he continues to mark you. Even though he never needed too. Everyone knew who you belonged to. He made it a point to kiss you whenever his mask was off and you were right next to him. He made it a point to shove any man, whether it be by force or physical contact, that tried to flirt with you. No one dared stare at you too long or their heads would be smashed into a wall. He only approved of certain male friends. So there really was no point to it. But he still loved it. He loved sucking your soft skin, earning a few moans and gasps in the process, as his mouth marked you.

His mouth was the only one allowed to touch you and he made sure that every single person knew it. As he was satisfied with the mark his mouth made, he started kissing down your body, making sure to go slow enough to enjoy every part of your skin. Your arms draped lazily behind his back as he moved back up your body.

“Why are you so easy to love? I just want to give you my everything. I want… i just fucking love you and couldn’t imagine another person in this bed under me.” Kylo’s confession spilled easily from his lips. You smiled lovingly at him.

“I just love you too.” Was all you could say as you felt his fingers lace under your underwears band. He moves backwards until they are completely off of your body. He slips off the bed long enough to slip his pants off. He crawls back into the bed. He makes his way back in between your legs, settling just before your beautiful cunt. You play with his hair some more, spilling sweet nothings into his ear. He soon pushes as deep as he can into you. You both moan out at the contact.

“Why are you so perfect?!” He half yells half moans as he sets the perfectly slow pace. You drag your nails down his back as he rolls his hips lazily, deeply into yours. He grips the sheets under his hands as he feels your walls clench around him. Every Time he hit that one spot, your walls would clench and he would moan out. Your bodies work perfectly together. It’s like you two were sculpted to fit perfectly together. It’s like your bodies were wired, from day one,to move this way together.

You guys make eye contact. Thank you for loving me. You have no idea how much you saved me from this universe.

“Of course darling.” Was all he says before kissing you. He pulls away as he soon feels his high start to roll over him. You smile at yourself as you feel his pace get sloppier. He takes one hand and drags his thumb hard but lazily against your clit. You roll your head back as your back leaves the bed. Your toes curl as your orgasims both hit you two at the same time. He keeps rolling his hips as every last drop of his semen leaves him for that moment. He stops once he goes soft, pulling out tiredly. He rolls over next to you, pulling your body close to his.

You tangle your legs in his as you draw mindless circles on his chest and he draws them on your back. You sigh tiredly, your eyes growing very heavy as his warmth and the sound of his heart beat lull you to sleep. Best afternoon sex ever.

“Only because you were involved.” Kylo mumbles tiredly, sleep taking over him once again as well. But he soon gets up knowing that he must clean everything up before falling asleep. Once you both were cleaned up, bedsheets changed and new clothing put on, you both crawl under the covers and get tangled once again in each other's love and bodies.

#kylo ren #starwars #kyloren smut #smut #kylo love #kylo smut #Klyo Ren #rey #poe #finn #love #lovers #kylo redemption #kylo fluff #star wars tfa #star wars the old republic #star wars the force awakens

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fantroll-purgatory · 7 years ago

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So this sad sod was my 11 year old self’s “attempt” at a fantroll, and oh boy oh boy is he ever edgy-mcedge-lord. I kinda liked what his theme was and deiced it was revamp time…and so here he is.

I love this child with my entire heart and would risk jail time for him.

Let’s get this freakshow on the road.

FIRST: Alternia.

Name: The only semi-redeemable thing I did for this poor lad was his name. It was Hecate which was from the Goddess Hecate who was associated with magic, ghosts, and necromancy. More or less what he was based off.

I think let’s run with the fact that you made this dude when you were 11! In addition to being about dark magic and ghosts and stuff, let’s actually include the childish element of it and a desire to be seen as dangerous. This actually tracks with the later backstory you provide that he’s sheltered and has little experience interacting with others.

For the last name, how about Bafmet like Baphomet, especially given that the Goat of Mendes is often depicted with the two crescent moons of Hecate. It also dovetails nicely with the symbol you already gave him!

Age: 7.4 Alternian Solar Sweeps

Strife Specibus: Bookind???

Jkdfkjslf does this mean boo-kind like ghostkind or book-kind like tomekind. Because either technically works.

Since I’ve added Baphomet and have also decided to be a little bit bullshit about this, maybe glaivekind based on Heartcleaver, Baphomet’s glaive in D&D.

With that said, I later agreed with your assessment of him as a Void player, which means you can do fistkind/hornkind, which is to say, a specibus that just requires using the weapons you have on hand. Hornkind will be especially effective once I give him the goat horns he deserves.

Fetch Modus: ???.

I kinda like a Gravestone Modus, if we’re going for necromancy! Captcha cards can be “dug up,” but inevitably in increasingly degraded conditions depending on how long they’ve been left to “rot.” Means you need to think twice before taking something.

Blood color: Rust, since it would allow him to have physical abilities and there usually best known with powers relating to the dead(?)

(I was kinda of thinking to changing him to a Jade blood since for all the dying-dark-undead theme I was kinda going for???)

I agree, actually! Male jadebloods are considered rare, and I especially like a troll whose caste is known for raising new life being associated with necromancy.

Symbol and meaning: Pentagram, dude was meant to be based around black magic, sorcery and necromancy(?) Or some kind of edgy and dark magic based theme.

Trolltag: ghastlyGhoul??? Don’t know man.

Yeah let’s punch that up a little. How about astraNomicon, using the inverted star in his symbol (astronomy) and common endings for pop culture occult-y books (i.e. Necronomicon).

Quirk: Still clueless, sorry.

I have one that might be funny: how about he swears a lot but “censors” it using his symbol. He may not see it as censoring (and may rather see it as posturing by aggressively reminding others of his symbol), but it’s certainly how it comes off. Example: I don’t have f⛧cking time for this sh⛧t. Burn in h⛧ll you weak ⛧ss m⛧th⛧rf⛧ck⛧r.

Special Abilities (if any): All I got from the vaguely written and horrid fanfic my 11 year old self wrote and never finished was he had some kind of uncontrollable marysueish black magic that made “insane” and messed his eyes up. (Also it had something to with the horrorterrors?)

Hm. If we let his jadeblooded status ride, maybe his eyes never adjusted to the light due to living in a cave for most of his life? So contrary to what we know about undead jadebloods in Alternia, Hecate would be unable to see well in the Alternian sun (though he’d still be able to survive it where other trolls couldn’t), but would be able to see devastatingly well at night. It lets him be “weird” without being Mary Sue-ish.

Lusus: It was some kind of mix between a cat, a owl and a snake. I think it’s based off a a mix of common familiars witches had?

Tbh that all sounds really solid!

Personality: Here's what I tried to come with based on his older and messier one;

Hecate is a shy, soft spoken troll who would rather very much keep to himself. Being raised basically in the middle of nowhere, he’s useless at speaking to people and awkward leading him to distance himself from other people. He also has a very fragile ego which can be broken, being on the bottom of the hemospectrum only adds to this.

If we make him a jadeblood, we can still make this work since practically all of his company would be grubs. Necromancy may also be something to which he’s drawn because of the loneliness and steadily growing pile of grub corpses as the cave trials continue. This also gives you a very interesting story hook: what gets him out of the cave?

Interests: Shitty Horror Movies, magic tricks, reading, astronomy, magic, necromancy

Title: Some kind of void player???

Given that he’s grown up away from others, yeah I think Void stands. And as a character whose actions claw him out of obscurity, you may want to go with Witch of Void (think: grimdark Rose)? Works thematically, and his inverse is Seer of Light, which works with all that book learnin’ he must be doing.

Land: ???

How about Land of Snow and Circles? I like the idea of this half-blind f⛧ck⛧r stumbling around a bright tundra. He encounters glyphs set into massive stone slabs of increasing size which he must arrange to create a planetwide circle to summon his denizen.

Dream Planet: Derse?

Ehhh tbh I can see a convincing argument for either. I always like putting edgy characters on Prospit since its bright aesthetic contrasts theirs AND the whole talk of destiny can make them get a big head.

I’m really sorry for giving you such pisspoor info to work with but I hope you can get something out of it.

Nah, I like it! If I’m being honest I would’ve probably been harsher if I’d gotten this troll like 4 years ago, but I’ve softened over the years and in my old, ancient age of 25 I think I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that fantrolls are just about having fun at the end of the day.

I’d say we’re doing a redesign but tbh except for the sign we’re building this guy from the ground UP.

Sorry about the picture quality for the first guy; tumblr kinda deep-fries images if they go beyond a certain width and I can’t click through to a clearer picture until it’s published so…here you go.

So I think your character forced me to look at what people are trying to do when they build an Edgy Character. From reading your bio, it looks lie you want a character who is immediately readable as a threat, but also comes off as cool and gothy? Which is how we get the dude on the right. Let me go through the details top to bottom.

Horns – Like I said, Hecate deserves some goat horns! They’re great for goring, they make him look taller, *and* Baphomet is sort of a goat.

Hair – The length comes from a chirp-trolls template, while the bangs are from one of fan-troll’s hairstyles. If we wanted to keep going with the sheltered aspect, I feel that long and unkempt hair is a quick and easy way to convey that as a creepy fact without sacrificing the cool factor.

Eyes – I used a tarsier’s eyes to make the original base. You’ve definitely seen a picture of a tarsier before even if you didn’t know it was called that. Mainly I went hunting for an animal with spectacular low-light vision. This way you can have your cake and eat it too; at night Hecate has big, round eyes to allow him to see in the dark (which kinda verges on adorably creepy), and during the daytime he has pinpoint pupils that look incredibly threatening despite the fact that he can’t see a thing.

Mouth – now that we have all these delicious new trolls in Troll Call, we can really start to see trends among specific blood colors. For jadebloods, it looks like they all have emphasized lips and two fangs, so I added those in for him. It definitely made him look more unsettling than when I just gave him a normal mouth full of teeth.

Outfit – all of this is courtesy of fan-troll, as usual. Once again, I wanted to go back to both the concept of edginess and to the trends we see among jadebloods. Despite covering a wide array of aesthetics, we still see that jadebloods trend toward the fashionable. With that said, a suit on its own risks just looking dapper, but a suit with practical boots? That’s terrifying. Why does he need practical boots. What is he going to do?

Anyway, that concludes my review of your troll. Thanks for submitting this dude; I’m real fond of him!

-TR

#anonymous #review #redesign #tr review #jadeblood #hecate #bafmet #hecate bafmet #submission

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erinseason2 · 8 years ago

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Get Real. (Get as real as you can)

I have had a few people ask me for cooking advice, healthy eating tips, how to cook for one, how to cook on a budget, how to feel good about food, {insert all other phrases related to these topics} so I wanted to share some of what I have found works. For the sake of transparency, it really does require a strong personal desire to live well and to make these changes. If you don’t want to eat nutritious food and move your body and feel strong both mentally and physically, then you won’t. There are so many excuses and short cuts and temptations and things to blame. If you don’t have a clear goal in mind, you will fall victim to outside influences. I never used to be fond of the phrase “put yourself first” because I thought that living my life for others was going to make me happy but please believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t. You will eventually crash and burn if you are trying to live for others. Tap into what changes you want to make for yourself and why you want to make those and let those wrap around your body and mind and soul over and over like a silk scarf.

My personal goal is to eat real food and exercise consistently. I know that sounds vague, but drawing hard lines is not the way to a healthy relationship with food that actually lasts longer than a few months. If you are looking for a crash diet or a way to loose 6 pounds so you look better in your Instagram photos, you have come to the wrong place. I define “real food” as food that I recognize from farming imagery, food with ingredients that an elementary school student could name, and staying away from foods that are processed. Processed is when the ingredients list reads like Swahili. Processed is anything that has a long ingredient list and is produced by a brand owned by white male stakeholders in New Jersey who don’t give a shit about you. You need to use your own brain and discretion, as a “Chiquita” brand banana is fabulous, while “Kellogg’s Special K” is trash.

Try not to think of foods that are processed or artifical as “bad foods” or “off limits foods,” because they AREN’T FOOD AT ALL! I have found that restricting certain foods only makes me want them more. You need to be able to change the way you think about that garbage food. Human’s were not meant to digest synthetic chemicals, maltodextrin, and sodium nitrates. If you change your definition of what “real food” is, all of that processed crap won’t even need to be on an “off limits” list because it doesn’t qualify as edible.

Another thing I want to say (and please bare with me in terms of organization–these posts are likely to be all over the place but such is life. Life is messy. Embrace it. (LOL. I have become that blogger who writes “Life is messy. Embrace it” in a post about healthy eating.) Anyways, I want to say that living a healthful life is not limited to privelaged white girls. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, or how close you live to a Whole Foods (in fact, I strongly advise you stay away from WF in most cases–will explain later), or how much time you have. You all have all of the resources you need for your own health. If you want to blame your job or your bank account or Trump or your parents, please find the nearest exit now. This is not for the faint of heart. If you want this you will find a way.

When I say “exercise consistently,” find your own definition of consistent. Right now I am exercising 5x a week. I can hear the gasps already. You can’t have one or the other folks, healthy living must incorporate working out and eating nutritiously. I would even like to add a third leg to that and include mediation but I’ll save that for another post. You can NOT neglect your diet and expect to be able to out-exercise it. And you can NOT live a sedentary life and expect your healthy diet to carry you throug. Take a dance class! Walk an imaginary dog! There are an infinite number of ways to move those bones.

I happen to be training for a marathon, so for the next 7 months I have a consistent daily training schedule laid out, and to be quite honest I recommend this to anyone! If you’re sitting there going “yeah but I don’t run.” Ok nobody “runs” until they actually start. “Yeah but like Erin I REALLY don’t run, like my legs/back/ankles are bad/insert another excuse.” Well then find a workout that works for you. But you are only lying to yourself. I know that everyone can run. Think of all those success stories about like 90 year olds who do Ironmans. Get out of your own way. I know there are a lot of cliches in this post and there will continue to be many, but that’s because they actually make sense in this context, and they are pretty truthful.

Download the Nike Training Club app. It is completely free and it has HUNDREDS of workouts ranging from 7 minute yoga routines to 60 minute boot camps that will come close to killing you. If you can’t afford to join a studio or you are put off by the commercialization of yoga (that was me), find an alternative. There are so many. I like running because it’s free, it’s a moving meditation, I get to explore different areas (my own neighborhoods, new neighborhoods, literally wherever), I love working out outside, and I love having a “runner’s high.” It is a real thing and it feels great.

My mom and dad and brother and I are all running a marathon together. This is my mom and I’s first marathon but it is my brother and my dad’s like tenth. We weren’t “born runners” (no one is FYI). We have just decided that we want to challenge ourselves and do so as a family. Make that decision for yourself. If you are sitting there going “but Erin my family isn’t as supportive, we don’t run like that” then I invite you to join mine. I will be your support system if anyone is reading this and wants to train.

Last year I was really into yoga. I took a class every other day and got really good at the poses and noticed such a huge difference in my body. There have been months in my life where all I did was do a 30 minute walk a few times a week. I am not suggesting that we all run a marathon a year (although that sounds like a lot of fun to me). What I hope to convey is that pursuing a healthy lifestyle has to come from a very innate place. You HAVE to make this process something that works for you. It can’t be a complete mock of someone else’s life. Start tinkering with different workouts. Start small will cooking (we will get to that). And start to build a lifestyle that makes you proud. Not your dad, your boyfriend, your parents, your boss, but you.

Quick list of workouts that I love: boxing, pilates (mat or reformer), running (lol you’re all like, ‘we get it’), dancing, walking!, swimming, HIKING, riding my bike to coffee shops that are 5 miles away (wear a helmet, I f*cking beg of you).

I want to talk a lot about cooking and eating and foods and share various tips and tricks that have made my transition to being able to cook a lovely and nutrient dense salmon dinner much easier and REALLY FUN, but I will save it for the next post. Like I said, these posts won’t be very organized at this point. I am trying to spill a lot of information across a wide variety of topics, as it occurs to me to blog it.

#health #fitness #wellness #personal #blogging #fruit #vegetable #sports #lol

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

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I Hid My Antidepressants From My Lover Because I Felt Ashamed

It was early February 2012, but it felt like mid-f*cking-July. I wasa displaced New Yorker in Florida, where the air felt suffocatingly thick and densely humid.

I had just moved to Florida from London for a job. It was supposed to be a temporary, fleeting move, but I had fallen in love (love always ruins your plans, doesn’t it?) with a bartender named Luna.*

The moment I laid eyes on Luna, I was addicted to our intense chemistry.Luna just had that energy,that palpable fun-loving charismathat made everyone around her feel good.Especially me.

So she was the reason I found myself NOT in the wonderfully chic city of London, but at a bro beach tiki bar in the middle of winter.

Imagine a spindly 25-year-old Wednesday Addams (black braids and all) hanging out in a bikini on a powdery talcum beach amidst a crew of deeply tanned, ankle-tattooed girls with frosted highlights in their shiny waist-length hair and warm beers nestled between their olive-skinned fingers.I was sorely out of context.

I really clashed with an impossibly LOUD entity named Phoebe.*

She was the kind of girl who spoke louder than everyone else and was, more often thannot, in the thick of a total and complete whiskey blackout. She constantly interrupted you and blew cigarette smoke in your face. She sucked the air out of a room.

It’s rare I ever say this, but Phoebe was just too much. And my best friends are drag queens and wild, sexually deviant eccentrics, so that’s saying a lot.

In her usual drunken haphazard state, Phoebe pulled a bottle of antidepressants out of her canvas backpack and slurred “F*ckkkkk theeeeeese pills. I don’t even TAKE THEM!” at the top of her lungs for no necessary reason.

“Oh girl, don’t be ashamed. I take Lexapro,” I blurted out, totally forgetting that I hadn’t yet told my new girlfriend that I took antidepressants.

I almost got away unscathed. It was easy to go unnoticed around Phoebe. But unfortunately for me, Luna’s best friend Maria* had overheard me.

“WHAT, ZARA, YOU TAKE LEXAPRO? LUNA, ZARA TAKES ANTIDEPRESSANTS!” Maria shouted, breathing beer into my face.

I went into immediate fight-or-flight, electric shock mode: “NO, I was totally kidding!” I lied, straight through my newly whitened teeth.

“Thank God!” Luna sighed. “I hate antidepressants. They turn you into a f*cking zombie. I don’t want to date a zombie.”

Then, everyone beganfiring out anti-antidepressant rants at the speed of rapid fire.

“Yeah, this country is waaaay over medicated!”

“Yeah f*ck antidepressants, they’re the worst.”

“Oh yeah I could never date someone who chose taking pills over confronting the pain…”

And I stood there, feeling self-consciously pale, clutching my hot pink Rebecca Minkoff purse laughing along, nodding my head in vehement solidarity and stone-cold agreement with Luna and her friends about how “antidepressants are BAD and ruining America.”

Meanwhile, resting in the small zipper part of my little pink purse were20 mgs of the little blue pill I had been taking for the last seven months, that I’m pretty sure had saved my life.

But I got it. See, I had been one of those peoplein the past, who scoffed at the prospect of medication, thinking all I had to do was strap on my black combat boots and put on a brave face and get the f*ck over it. I’m British; we like to suffer. We are the very face of the “stiff upper lip” movement.

However, I had recently been hit with a bout of depression so black I couldn’t see my way out of the pain. It was the kind of depression that’s so severe, simple acts like brushing your teeth or combing your hair feel taxing.

I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. And to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to be alive. Things got so dark in my head that I no longer felt like I was in a safe place.

Finally, a family friend got worried about me and took me to her doctor.I got prescribed a low dosage of Lexapro, and after about two weeks, I could finally muster up the energy to get out of bed.

Lexapro wasn’t a miracle drug that fixed all of myproblems, but it gave me the strength to start going to therapy and confrontthe slew of painful memories I had spent the past decade suppressing.

In that time in my life, I needed the help of medication. It was life or death.

But in that moment with Luna, I felt ashamed. I felt like a f*cked up loser who wasn’t strong enough to deal with life. And when I feel ashamed, I start to lie. Humiliation and embarrassment have the ability to silence me like nothing else.

For the next several months,I hid my pills from Luna. I kept them in a delicate daisy-decorated sponge makeup bag, the kind of contraption that respectable nice girls would probably use to store their tampons. (I’ve always been the girl who recklessly tosses her tampons into her bag.)

I so badly wanted to fit the image of what Luna wanted, and needing medication wasn’t part of that image. Luna wanted fun-loving Zara. Fashion-crazed Zara. Unafraid-to-tell-anyone-off Zara.

Who wants to be with the Zara who suffers from depression and anxiety so severely that sometimes she’s scared of her own thoughts?No one wants to be with that Zara. And all I wanted was to be the girl that Luna wanted to be with..

Finally, it all came crashing down. I grew sick and tired of keeping a huge part of my life hidden from Luna. I loved her and craved her support. I wanted to tell her what I had been through and what I was going through.

So one day, it spilled out of me. I told her everything. The shame. The trauma. Why I had lied to her for the better part of a year.

“Luna, I can’t hide this anymore, but I’ve been battling depression and taking antidepressants. I know you’re super against antidepressants, but I need your support. I’ve been lying to you and hiding my medication from you.”

We were in the car on our way to the airport. We were taking our first couple’s vacation to Brazil (excellent timing for a heavy conversation, I know. My bad.). I gazed out the window and stared at the palm trees lining the streets. I braced myself for a judgmental lecture or massive argument because I had, after all, committed the worst relationship sin of all (especially for lesbians), Ilied.

Much to my surprise, my confession didn’t end in a screaming match. She felt instantly terrible thatthedrunken comments from her friends almost a year ago had made me feel soinsecure. She didn’t judge me like I had feared. In fact, my confession made her love me more.

And it taught me one of the most life-changing lessons I’ve learned in my adult life: People don’t really fall in love with the perfectly curated version of you. They might admire the filtered, air-brushed version of you. But it’s not love.

I’m areal person, not just an idea of a person.

People are only going to fall in true love with thewhole you. The you whohas nightmares, and awkward birthmarks, and a loaded past, and strange phobias. I’ve found the things I’ve been the most ashamed of are the very things my partners have fallen in love with me for.

So sweet kittens, don’t be shamed into silence. Don’t water your eccentricities down because you’re afraid of being “too much.”

And if peopletry to shame you for needing to take medication, or your weird family, or the funky scar on your body, f*ck them. Who needs false love when you could have real love?

Find the person who loves all of you, blue pills and all.

*Name has been changed