#but for now here's just a wee lil love letter

[an-inky-fingered-lass]

have i ever mentioned how much I love these books. I love these books. SO much. I need to actually write some coherent things about them at some point (which i will) cause they are so so important to me, but I just....

The Leagues and Legends trilogy (especially Remember the Dust!!!! I have been rereading that through good days and hard days and boring days and it makes me feel like i'm wrapped up in a warm blanket with the sun shining gently through the clouds outside the window and-- anyway I digress) has my whole heart. The ballads. George!! Laney!! GreyJackRupertJillMarianSezSally-AnneMuchBeaBidi look I love them all okay.

like I said. more coherent words coming shortly but for now just have some feelings.

also. I literally just finished reading Alliance today and aarrrrghh there my heart goes again. I love them. I loved all three of them but idk there's just something about the third book with me apparently, Traitor just....struck a chord? I need it let it just settle softly in my brain for a little while longer before I can come up with coherent words about it i think but. Sash. Eli. Will. Andrea. Nate. Gregory-

*curls up into a tiny little ball to think about all these kiddos and Feel Things*

alright so this was supposed to be something brief and just a reblog of this very cool thingy about these books that i love and i am still slightly scared of tumblr and this whole putting-words-out-there-where-people-can-see-them thing and i hope this tag is okay buuut @ink-splotch in case you ever happen to see this, i just wanna say that your writing is incredible and resonates with me in a way that nothing else really has before, and I'm so glad I stumbled upon it. thank you so much for bringing these beautiful stories out into the world.

also I stuck the links to the books (the e-books are available to download!! for free!!!) in the titles, so just in case anyone is seeing this who hasn't checked 'em out yet, goooooooo find them right now! be prepared to have your whole heart stolen away (and given back, filled to bursting) <3

“This is a story that believes in heroes in the same way it believes in forest fires, or apples dropping to earth, or stairs in a mountainside. Heroes are destructive. They are inevitable, inexorable, and drawn to fall. They are built. The Academy believed in heroes in the same way it believed in uniforms and old family names. Heroism was tangible and came with a badge attached. Jack Farris believed in heroes in the same way the town built up along the banks of the river believed in flotsam.”

—

Beanstalk, by E. Jade Lomax

Ok, so I’m starting to reread the Leagues and Legends books in my downtime (which today means at almost 1 am after trying to write this on mobile and having it stop working and delete all of it) so you all get some rambles.

First off, this opening is stellar. Right off the bat it tells us that this story falls in the legacy of heroes and fairy tales. Beyond that, in the first five words, we know that this is a meta story, aware of its standing and ready to wink. By the end of the first section, Lomax has hinted at tragic flaws and the hero’s journey, the traumas and dramas (sadly lacking in llamas) that drive heroes forward and forge them into adventurers/rescuers/annihilators.

And then immediately subverts it with an image of heroics as regulated and taught, with an air of pretension. The traditional heroic molds are the prince and the peasant; this two-sentence introduction to the Academy is steeped in classism. Heroism can be born into, it can be bought, and it is bound by appearance.

And then, just for fun, subverts the whole concept of heroics in this world anyway, with the declaration that our leading trickster views them as so much trash and nuisance built up and in the way.

And they’re all true. In her introduction, Lomax maps out the forces shaping the book. At the topmost level, it’s the concept of story itself. Literary traditions and narrative tropes shape storytelling and our understanding of it. They’re important and heavy. On the second level, we see the internal power structures of the world. Forces like the Academy and government agencies, the traditions and culture that have brought the world of the book where they are. And then the bottom level, the individual characters themselves, where Lomax smirks at the top two levels and declares that they might as well be thrown out because these characters will have NONE OF THAT. And we see small rebellions twisting the status quo the whole way through, the power of individuals to cause change, and not just the “oh we saved the world we’re heroes” way.

And this is such a great bit of meta fun, because of course this is a hero story, and of course Jack Farris is a hero, but that gives him even better perspective for how he views them, tbh. And for that matter, while it’s a hero story, it’s probably even more of a healing story, but that’s getting quite ahead of myself and it is now 1:30 in the morning.

(via storiopath)

[strongheartneteyam]

💌 A messy open letter/life update to my moots, readers and followers (?)

MY LOVES MY ANGELS HI!!!

IM SO SORRY FOR NEGLECTING Y'ALL FOR SO LONG my kitten is just now healed enough (not fully healed yet. she still has sutures) for me to be able to let her walk around the room and play by herself without being too dangerous for her health and I FINALLY was able to sleep more these last 4 days (I didn't talk to ANY of my friends for 3 days bc all I could do was sleep - even during the day, like, a lot - watch movies n read a bit (books, not fanfiction)/study neuroscience and anatomy a bit) so, now, I'm only like 70% recovered from so much sleep deprivation (being an amateur nurse for a spayed kitten and also doing house chores, mostly by yourself, ain't easy) and I've been logging in here for like only 30 minutes up to a maximum of like 1 hour or so, and not even everyday, just editing some stuff on my posted fanfiction/checking my notifications, messages, asks and OMG you guys are AMAZING!!! So much love that I'm receiving, from moots, readers, followers or even people who I don't think follow me but they support my works somehow, even after me being gone for this long while... IM SO THANKFUL AND MOVED!!! I love this fandom SO MUCH! I have no words!! I've been in many fandoms in my life and the Avatar one is by far the most supportive, peaceful - to a certain extent - and full of good energy and love! I PROMISE I will get to answer y'all soon enough!

And about the talk that's been going on about the fandom dying, DONT U WORRY MY BABIES, MOMMA VICTÓRIA AINT GOING NOWHERE! Speaking for me, at least, this tall blue aliens obsession is NOT something temporary! I'll be writing my lil stories for y'all forever, if I'm able to (lol) 🤍 I've loved Avatar since the first time I watched the 2009 movie, back when it was released and I was a child, and now that I'm a grown woman in her 20s, I still feel such a big connection to this fictional universe, in a literal spiritual level. I was a pagan/had a witchy/nature based spirituality for years of my life, tho I'm not pagan anymore, since I slowly realized I never truly believed in the pagan gods and magick, but, instead, I just see God in nature and see it as sacred and something that should be respected and taken care of, instead of destroyed. I also have indigenous heritage from my great grandmother, love my indigenous culture, live in a small town, next to the countryside, always felt crazily connected to nature and the Universe and been deeply fascinated by space, aliens, sci-fi, fantasy, always been called a "hippie" by people, either to tease me playfully or to try to make me feel bad for being a bit too much like Kiri Sully (istg me and Kiri are one and the same) so, this fandom serves me JUST RIGHT 😅🫀✨🌱👽💕 I'm here to stay and I WILL help keep this wonderful fandom alive!!! 💖

Anyways... I feel like I already "talked" way too much lol I'm wordy, sorry 🥲 but that's one of the reasons I can write well, so... it's got its bad and its good side ahaha

Speaking of writing, I have like 6 to 7 chapters of Realize where you belong saved (only need to edit and fill in some gaps) bc, even in the middle of so much physical and mental working, I'VE BEEN SO BLESSED with inspiration and been able to write A LOT lately, in the wee free time I've been having, so... if you're reading this fanfiction, I might be updating it later today or tomorrow!

Hope you're all doing good and taking care of yourselves! I've been trying to! I LOVE Y'ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK 💘

With love, your messy and a bit crazy but honest and caring fanfiction writer,

Victória ♡

[floshav]

nerdy!draco malfoy x fem!reader

are you alright? pt. 1

a touch of angst

fluffy goodness

sad reader

concerned draco

1,477 words

this is not exactly canon draco? maybe some aspects but yeah basically him but nerdy and awkward cuz i find that hot 😭 (this is my first ever fanfic on here so be kind aha) i hope you enjoy!

y/n rubbed her eyes open to be met with darkness still casted over her room. She expected it to be bright out by now but she quickly realised it was one of those days where she might’ve had a lil bit too much of coffee than she shouldve.

Despite needing the rest, she was glad she drank that extra cup of coffee because she couldn’t bare falling asleep again. the feeling of cold sweat trickling down her body and that aching sensation in her head but especially since sleep was always just another way of transport into the hellish nightmares she was experiencing lately.

She tumbled around in the dark over a few things, sharp and blunt while trying to get herself composed for the day that was to begin in… ah yes another 4 hours. She wasn’t the type to laze around because it would always end up with her getting anxious or stressed that she wouldn’t have enough time to do a certain thing, so with that she immediately “accio’d” her clothing and put them on while patting herself down. She didn’t bother to shower considering it was winter and she didn’t really care about what others thought of her odour anyway.

Stacked on the side of her desk was a pile of old books gathered from the library which have been worn out to a concerning degree. She decided it would be good to catch up on some work before one of Snapes potion classes because she hated the idea of getting humiliated in front of everyone just for some unfinished questions she forgot to line on her parchment (a very specific event if i may add).

Just as the ink touched her paper for the 2nd time, she remembered. She remembered how awful today was going to be, not because she had an insufficiency of friends or that her days were always just methodically lonely but because today was the start of letter week.

Letter week was basically another way of smacking y/n in the face with a “Hey! You’re lonely, come look at other people thrive in the departments of love and friendship!!” by the exchange of letters between two anonymous students. Sure y/n didn’t mind it, but being in a room filled with love struck teens definitely didn’t make it easy for her.

She would always hear some reading their letters aloud or shoving their letters in her face even if she refused to look at them, she would still be forced to read them or a hex would come her way. She couldn’t do anything about the bullying because there was always something her classmates would use as blackmail against y/n.

Suddenly y/n felt a giant slam on her desk making her and the books slightly jolt from the desk for a mere millisecond.

“Look who we have here.. Trying to drown your sorrows with studying are we? Because you aren’t good at anything else? Or maybe it’s because you’re so unlikeable that you cant pull anyone during letters wee-“ Y/n heard the voice of a fimiliar yet annoying siren which made her want to turn her body inside out. It was of course from one of her roommates. She didn’t even bother to hear the rest of the incredulous insult before storming out the door glad she got ready early.

The hallways were empty and filled with moonlight draping across the floors lighting up the light dust particles which floated around effortlessly throughout the corridor.

She felt hot tears trickle down her red cheeks as she tried to contain herself from loosing all senses. But it was no use, her vision was too blurry that it was hard to make out what she was about to bump into.

she just prayed and hoped it was a professor, even a wall seemed welcoming at the moment. Just anything but getting caught by a prefect this early in the dawn.

Just as she was hoping so hard it wasnt someone, she bumped into a pale looking boy who had been holding a lamp lit up by a soft fire which danced around in the holder.

“Excuse me? What are you doing this early in the corridors?” The soft yet smooth voice inquired now having a concerned yet irritated look in his face.

“i could ask the same to you too Malfoy.” she spat now looking at the last person she would want to bump into, even mr filch was looking right about better at this point.

“I’m a prefect.” He spat back softly whilst visibly clutching onto the lamp ever so slightly harder that his knuckles turned white.

“Oh yea.. you’re one of those.” she utters back just above a whisper while rolling her dark eyes.

“You still haven’t answered my question on why you’re here.” he spits back annoyed with a blank yet suave expression.

“Well i- uhm- “ she takes a deep breath to compose herself under his stare before continuing “I’m on an early mornin stroll ya see.” she says ecstatically while looking around the corridors trying to avoid eye contact.

“Mhm… Sure.” he says in a fake skeptical voice obviously knowing that’s not what you’re here for.

“Darcy giving you a hard time again? You know i can just talk to he-“ Before he could finish that sentence, she cuts him off.

“No! i-it’s not Darcy. Why would you think it’s darcy anyway? That stupid little bit-“ She cut herself off with a breath before she could rant about how annoying she was for decades.

“The last time your roommates gave you problems i found you walking down this exact same hallway.. except it wasn’t before school hours because you were a goody two shoes back then.. apparently. Oh and you had that exact expression.” He says matter of factly while staring her dead in the eyes. If looks could kill, she would definitely be dead with several markings on the floor.

“What expression? And i was never a goody two shoes for your information.” She says with an annoyed tone while emphasising the very last part of her sentence.

“That- i don’t know… That sad hopeless tear trembling face like you just got bullied into oblivion. Oh, and you look quite petty and lonely.” He chuckled before swinging his arm over her shoulder

she jumped slightly at the contact of his long slender fingers that were loosely hung onto the side of her shoulder. she would most definitely be lying if she said she's never thought about those fingers before.

"So what was it about this time?" draco asks slyly while walking y/n down the corridor.

"What do you mean?" she asks in an inquisitive tone.

"You know, the reason they bullied you this time.." he said now making it to the moving staircases "Oh and watch your step you dont want to fall down here again.. last time you did it was a nightmar-"

before he could finish that sentence y/n abrubtly changed the subject. "Shut up, and also it was about letter week this time." she says while woefully looking down at her shoes.

"Im surprised darcy and her rats even get an exchange of letters for letter week." Draco remarks annoyed.

"Who would even be surprised? Their like the prettiest girls here. Im surprised you havent gotten with darcy yet.. considering her many mesirable attempts at getting with you." Y/n says with slight admiration for draco, in his ability to decline THE darcy, the most yearned for girl in school.

"Shes not all that you know.. i myself find her quite.. bland and boring. No offence to Darcy though, I guess i just have a completely different idea of what pretty is then." He says exasperatedly like he's explained this a million times to y/n.

They now have found themselves at the bottom of the moving staircase, stood still like untouched waters waiting for the next ripple.

"So.. where to now my little juvenile. I should really be sending you back to your dorm you know. You should repay me for my dastardly! rule breaking!.. just for you~." Draco says dramatically while running his fingers through his silver locks.

"Oh shut your trap you old lad." she spits back in the same tone while a smile shines upon her lips.

"Ah.. thats more like it m'lady. Glad i could let those teeth break free again." He says now pulling her hand into an unknown direction.

"Draco slow down! we're going to get caught you fool!" Y/n says in adrenaline as the sound of their footsteps echo the halls.

And... y/n was right. They did get caught by the worst person to get caught by. Snape.

"Now to what delight do i have to see... Draco.. and one of his.. friends in the hallways at 5AM." He slurs while eyeing y/n up and down.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED PART 1!!!! if this does okay, ill put up part 2.. but if it doesnt.. then i guess we'll never know.

~floshav

[gracifleur]

okay i'm kidding, more seriously: what drew you to shaymin in the first place? do you have any favorite and least favorite theories and concepts regarding it?

i hope ur ready 2b emotional on this good monday bc this, is the saga of me & shaymin.

so ive been a fan pkmn since the good year of 1998, u could not for the life of u me n dupree get my gameboy from my tiny child fingers n make me put down red or blue. my fav pkmn was pikachu, instantly. i still have my fav pikachu shirt from childhood ok listen. so thru the years watching the anime, seeing the movies in theater, playing the games time passes n we get to rse & admittedly i was burnt OUT. BURT THE FUCK OUT. but also, & pls no hate, i wasnt the biggest fan of the 3rd gen. i loved the sprites, the pkmn, the location, but the story itself just wasnt my thing & i rlly just felt the pang of man idk if im into this as i used to be which sucks when u lose a hyperfixation but also something that u rlly love n enjoyed n brought u immense joy. so i decided to be a wee bit edgy n be all bleh pkmn for babies as i totally very much still replayed rby & gsc etc etc. im a lil hypocrite if nothing. so when the ds came out n news of a new gen was on the horizon, i ignored it. however one of my high school besties did not & got diamond. it was also my birthday( fun fact i do share a release date birthday with platinum in america i will let u look it up ) & pal was like 'i wanted pearl so here take diamond as ur gift n lets go get my game n play together i kno u love pkmn' he was right. i do love pkmn n wow, wow. the first moments of diamond rlly just SNAPPED something within me. it was like falling in love with this series all over again. something about the world, the characters, the story, the pkmn it all fell into place n really really made me remember why i loved this franchise in the first place.

so, naturally i start paying attention again to pkmn news & more importantly: event pkmn. which lead me to this advertisement from toys r us. also fun fact: i have the shaymin image from this ad bc i cut it out, it's in my 3ds case at all times safe.

now, i saw this lil fella & i was like oh my god ur so adorable i need you. && so me n one of my high school besties who was as fanatic abt pkmn as me rushed off 2 our local toysrus n download the mystery gift. i go n open the summery of my shaymin & that was that. idk what happened. suddely pikachu was #2 in my heart( tho nowdays i do consider both shaymin & pikachu as my all time favs, but shaymin is like slightly higher on the list ). idk what it was ! this lil fella made me appreciate grass types, a type i normally dont care for at all but turtwig had started to fix that. i always had them in my party, i got a secondary diamond copy just to hACK TO DO THE OAKS LETTER EVENT. i loved them idk why something about the fact that this lil friend shaped creature is thankful to me in spite of everything was like the franchise itself saying thank you for always loving pkmn, for giving it a second chance, for like idk being a good friend. && that rlly resonated with me.

pkmn has been a franchise that has rlly helped me thru some shit & has always just been consistently there. every game since diamond ive loved more n more n more. && i think like gen4 will always be special for me & so will shaymin bc like as grateful as i am for pkmn it sorta feels like pkmn is grateful for me too & thats just like makes ur heartgut go emotional huh cause it does me too its ok anyways shaymin rules actually

aND FOR THE SECOND PART UHH IDK ABOUT THEORIES I HATE or concepts, its kinda hard to like rlly delve into more than whats there bc shaymin seems to embody the coming of spring, the change of the seasons, to start anew, refresh & rejuvenation all of those are sick as fuck concepts but i guess if i had a criticism i would def say sky forme looks stupid kdJHASKJDhsa IDK THATS JUST ME LAND FORME BEST FORME #HATER

oh uh, pet tax: here is a photo of that said toysrus shaymin currently chilling in my copy of x

[etoileholland]

Note: please do not repost (copy and paste my writing) and try to claim it as your own.

as of 10/2020 requests are closed

The warnings are in parentheses, if any.

✨ Blessing in disguise; you and Tom are in university together, and the cuteness that ensues (fluffy blurb) (also my first piece)

✨ Last First Kiss; in which you’re afraid of having your first kiss, but Tom is more than patient. (major fluff, a tad bit of body insecurity)

✨ Hold me close, I’ve never been so far from home; because of quarantine, you can’t go back home. Also, you and the boys are getting fed up with each other. (angst, arguments, bad words)

✨ Dinner For Schmucks; you have had far too many bad dates, and Tom has to come rescue you yet again. (major fluff)

✨ I will make it up to you; while in quarantine, you and Harrison are not getting along, and it worries Tom. (slight angst, a sprinkling of bad words, fluff)

✨ Why must I meet you in a secret rendezvous?; you and Harry are best friends, but you’re dating Tom behind his back. (a lil argument)

✨ Love showed up at my door; Tom and Harrison fell in love with the pizza delivery girl, and now they’ve eaten far too much pizza. (just cheesy)

✨ My devilish darling boy; Tom’s son accidentally ruins his script for his new movie after finishing it and is reluctant to tell the truth after Tom blames it on his brothers. (a little argument and some bad words)

✨I can’t hide you from it all; while having a date night, you and your husband Tom left your three year old son to be watched by the boys. Your son ends up getting hurt and Tom isn’t happy. (a trip to the urgent care but nothing gross)

✨ I’d gladly surrender myself to you, body and soul; A lonely Tom wanders into an old jazz club where reader is a last minute substitute sultry singer. The two lock eyes and reader makes the first move by getting flirty during her song and Tom is desperate to find her after the show. (none)

✨ Bundle of joy; you and Tom already have twin boys, but when you become pregnant again, you decide to keep the gender a secret until the birth (none)

✨ La vie en rose; while at a museum in Paris, you meet Tom, a boy so beautiful that the masterpieces pale in comparison to him (none)

✨ Meet the parents; Tom is introducing his girlfriend for the first time to his family and Harrison and she’s a bit nervous but he tells her not to worry (none)

✨ Holland Park; your boyfriend Tom gives you your first ever kiss on a picnic date (none)

✨ I’m not half the man I used to be;  in the span of two years, you and Tom went from being inseparable, to him being someone you heavily detested. What happens when one drunken night rolls around and he wants to reconcile? (alcohol and drinking, a wee bit of angst with a fluffy ending)

✨ The Sims;  You teach the boys how to play the Sims, which may or may not have been a good idea. (fluff)

✨ Seeing double; Tom gets you, his girlfriend, and your identical cousin mixed up, which causes a lot of misunderstanding. (none) 

✨ lead me to your door; you’re Tom’s music loving neighbour, and he loves hearing you play music from your apartment, until one day it stops, which worries Tom (none)

✨If I could be that guy instead of me; Tom doesn’t think you like him in the same way, especially not after seeing you fawn over someone else.

✨ yours truly; a letter box shaped bag prompts Tom to tell you just how much you mean to him (no warnings)

✨ sealed with love, part 2 to ‘yours truly’, where Tom works up the courage to propose to you with the help of an old friend (no warnings)

✨ Hold me tight, tell me I’m the only one; you ask a clueless & oblivious Peter to the 60′s themed prom. (just a ton of fluff)

✨ As sweet as chocolate;  Peter falls in love with the sweet girl who works at a chocolatier. (all fluff)

✨ don’t leave me waiting here; Peter, after a failed mission, lashes out at the reader. (angst but fluff at end)

✨ cooking fiasco; after a failed attempt at making your anniversary dinner, Pepper and May help save the day (fluff)

✨ it’s nice to have a friend; upon finding out that you have no friends at school, Peter wants to be yours 

✨ untitled; a social media au where Tom shows off his girlfriend at a premiere (fluff)

✨ à toi pour toujours- yours always ; a social media au where Tom proposes to you in Paris (fluff)

✨ in my life, I’ll love you more; a social media au where Tom and the reader get married (fluff)

✨ my brother’s best friend; a social media au where you’re Tom’s sister and you’re dating Harrison (fluff)

✨ words hurt; being best friends with Harrison and Tom & them being protective of you when you receive hateful comments (insecurity)

✨ tall girl struggles; dating Harry Holland and feeling insecure about your height

✨ not in the same way; where you’re in love with Peter but he loves MJ

✨ feeling left out; where because of a rumour, Tom and the gang purposefully exclude you

✨ hush; harrison doesn’t tell his family that he’s with you until they accidently find out

✨ I do; where Tom asks for your parents permission for your hand in marriage

• more to come soon •

[withthebeatlesgirls]

What are some things that john did to julian? Like, i knew he was not the best to him, but i didn't knew about the laughter, for example.

“Dad could talk about peace and love out loud to the world, but he could never show it to the people who supposedly meant the most to him: his wife and son.”- Julian Lennon

He neglected Julian, he basically left him when he was very young Julian has said he barely really knew his father and felt unimportant in his life. Julian has even said that Paul was more of a father to him than John was.

Here’s a story from their housekeeper. 

“When Mr Lennon was at home there were often rows during meals when John seemed to be too severe with Julian and criticised the way he behaved at table. Julian, who was a very sensitive child at the time would become upset and Mrs Lennon would argue with Mr Lennon about this.

As a result there would be an argument about the way Julian was being brought up. Mr Lennon would say Mrs Lennon was too soft with him. I think that he was probably not enough with his son at my house owing to his profession to know how to handle him. Julian's table manners were if anything better than average.”

here’s something Cynthia said

“John's erratic behaviour around Julian continued — fun one moment and violent anger the next. And he could be like this with Sean too, reducing the little boy to tears of terror. Fred Seaman, or sometimes Yoko, would act as a buffer when John lost his temper. Julian was constantly on tenterhooks, sensing that an eruption was coming and retreating to his room in the hope of avoiding it.”

John has also that Sean was a product of love while Julian was a product of a whiskey bottle, which like that’s awful thing to say. 

In conclusion, he just wasn’t a good father to Julian overall and neglected him. Although he did love him and was proud of him , I’ll end this post on a positive note and show this letter he wrote to Cyn showing that he cared about both of them.

"It's not much bother really, is it? When you think about it - cause I'm sure Dot (Dorothy Jarlett, the housekeeper at Weybridge) and Lil (Lillian Powell, Cynthia's mother), Bengie, Tommy, wee Jocky etc. can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day. I don't mean Julian tho' - I mean don't pack him off to Dot's or anywhere - I really miss him as a person now - do you know what I mean - he's not so much 'The Baby' or 'my baby' any more. He's a real living part of me now, you know he's Julian and everything and I can't wait to see him, I miss him more than I've ever done before - I think its been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable. I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I have wasted not being with him - and playing with him - you knew, I keep thinking of those stupid bastard times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other shit while he's in the room with me and I've decided its ALL WRONG! He doesn't see enough of me as it is and I really want him to know and love me and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much. I'll go now 'cause I'm bringing myself down thinking what a thoughtless bastard I seem to be - and its its only sort of three o'clock in the afternoon and its seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional - I really feel like crying - its stupid - and I'm choking up now as I'm writing - I don't know whats the matter with me - Its not the tour thats so different from other tours - I mean I'm having lots of laughs (you know the type he! he!) but in between the laughs there is such a drop - I mean there seems no in-between feelings. Anyway I'm going now so that this letter doesn't get too draggy. I love you very much.”

[miserymouth]

         liam müller .

—-     well  ,   look  who’s  just  arrived  !   if  it  isn’t  the  one  and  only  𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫  .   though  ,   around  here  he’s  known  as  𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  .   don’t  tell  him  i  said  this  but  the  𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞  year  old  𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐫 & 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞  kinda  has  a  reputation  of  being  𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠  and  𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢���  .  but  y’know  ,   he  can  be  𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝  and  𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 too  .   typical  𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨   .   anyways  ,   welcome  home  and  stay  safe  𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦 !

hello  all  ,   i’m  still  𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞  ,  i  still  live  in  est  ,  and  i’m  STILL  ready  to  get  crazy  ,   stupid  ,   and  also  wild  .   this  is  my  second  and  last  intro  ,   but  after  this  i’m  going  to  be  posting  some  possible  connections  for  my  2  lil  homies  !

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 ;

→  name   liam  gustav  müller →  nicknames   literally  none  .  his  name  has  four  letters  ajsdksjksjs  .  →  age  /  d.o.b.   twenty  three  ,   4th  november  1996 →  gender  /  pronouns   cis  male  /  he  &  him →  dominant  hand   right

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 ;

→ born   misty  hollow  ,   connecticut  ,   usa → current residence   misty  hollow  ,   connecticut  ,   usa → spoken languages   english → occupation   clerk  at  wally’s  gas  bar  and  convenience  → alma mater   misty  hollow  community  college → drink / smoke / drugs   yes  /  yes  /  yes

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ;

→ moral alignment   chaotic neutral → mbti   estp → zodiac   scorpio → hogwarts  house   slytherin → archetype   the  anarchy

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐀�� ;

growing  up  ,   liam’s  mother  jenna  was  his  only  parental  figure  ,   and  thus  left  to  suffer  the  wrath  of  her  son  alone  .   she   was   a  bookworm  ,   a  religious  quote  reader  ,  and a  romanticist   —-   she  believed  the  charm  of  a  man  was  a  weapon  ,   and  so  she  raised  her  son  to  brandish  his  as  such  .  she  worked  as  a  clerk  in  the  local  grocery  store  and  still  does  to  this  day  .   liam  has  never  left  misty  hollow  ,   but  he  never  wanted  for  anything  as  a  child  despite  his  modest  upbringing  .   he  is  his  mother’s  world  ,  and  for  a  long  time  ,   she  was  his  .                     →   liam  has  never  known  his  father  ,   and  each  time  his  mother’s  asked  him  if  he  wants  to  ,  he  says  no  .  this  is  ,   of  course  ,   a  lie   —-   he’s  already  found  his  father  living  with  his  new  family  ,   a  week  long  project  he’d  worked  on  during  the  summer  of  his  fifteenth  year  .

he  is  a  relentless  liar  ,   a  truth  spinner  ,   a  story  teller  .   he’s  a  creator  of  tall  tales  ,   ones  that  he  can  convince  the  validity  of  with  a  toothy  grin  and  a  few  faux  statistics  pulled  out  of  his  ass  .  he  simply  doesn’t  know  when  the  moment  calls  for  silence   —-   that  ,  or  he  doesn’t  care  enough  .   he  loves  to  get  under  people’s  skin  in  any  way  he  can  ,   irking  patrons  of  wally’s  gas  bar  or  flirting  with  them  regardless  of  relationship  status  or  gender  to  assuage  his  overcoming  boredom  .                    →   liam  is  a  big  city  guy  in  a  small  town  boy’s  body  ,   the  repetitive  nature  and  familiarity  of  a  small  town  like  misty  hollow  not  compatible  with  his  software  .   he  finds  himself  straying  further  and  further  from  the  routine  he’s  used  to  ,   not  coming  home  at  night  until  the  wee  hours  of  the  morning  or  striking  up  conversations  with  strangers  just  to  do  something  differently  . 

he’s  a  buzzing  fly  in  the  ear  of  misty  hollow  ,  not  quite  bad  enough  to  make  a  big  deal  of  ,  but  annoying  enough  to  want  to  swat  him  away  .   he  states  opinions  whether  or  not  he  agrees  with  them  ,   searching  for  reactions  over  all  else  .   if  you  hear  the  relentless  sound  of  kanye  west  blaring  out  loud   and  skateboard  wheels  on  asphalt  going  past  your  house  at  1  in  the  morning  ,   it’s  liam  müller  .   if  you  send  your  significant  other  into  wally’s  to  pay  for  your  gas  and  they  come  out  pissed  off  ,  it’s  the  müller  kid  .   he’s  a  nuisance  for  his  own  cause  ,   and  has  been  almost  his  entire  life  at  varying  levels  .                  →   it’s  a  miracle  he  even  graduated  from  misty  hollow cc  ,   his  attention  span  rivalling  that  of  a  rock  .   it  was  a  long  and  arduous  process  ,   but  he  made  it  through  ,   if  only  for  the  prospect  of  getting  out  to  go  to  a  bigger  university  elsewhere  in  the  near  future  .   for  now  ,   he’s  saving  money  up  for  exactly  that  ,   biding  his  time  and  being  generally  annoying  until  he  gets  his  chance  to  leave  everything  behind  . 

[timelock97]

Love Without A Name

Chapter Eleven: Impending Panic

Word Count: 3031

Masterlist

Warnings: Fluff, Language, Anxiety, PANIC ATTACK AT END OF THE CHAPTER

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Counting down the days yet?" Tom's voice comes from the speaker of my phone.

I smile, brushing my fingers through my damp hair. "Less than seventy-two hours, then I can have you back in my arms again."

"I miss you; miss the apartment, miss Tess and Phoebe. Just want'o be home."

"Well, at least the last leg will be shot in London. You get to come home to your own bed."

"And my girls, don't forget that," He hums, shifting on his side of the phone. "Anything new happening? I feel like I just rambled for the last hour while you were getting ready for bed."

"But I miss you, so hearing you ramble is second best to you being here. Um," I roll over in bed and wedge the phone into the pillow so I can shut my tired eyes while I talk. "Nothing new, work is work. Your mom came and had lunch with me today. Which was nice 'cause she wanted to do dinner tonight but I wasn't going to get home till late. What else-" I rub my hand over my face before letting out a soft 'oh'. "I get out early tomorrow, so I am going to run to the mall and pick up some stuff 'cause my favorite pair of jeans decided to rip, so they are unwearable now."

Tom chuckles gently, "I'm glad my mum came and kept you company. Haz said that he's been to the flat a few times in the past few weeks."

"Yeah, he came over to have dinner 'cause I was lonely," I giggle, thinking about the first time I called Harrison after Tom had left.

After Paddy had gone back home, going back to the empty apartment was hard, especially after a bad day. I had had a shit day at work. Not one thing had gone to plan, I was tired, and all I wanted was someone to sit and watch a movie with me. So while walking home, I called Tom's family. His brothers had already had plans for the evening and his folks were at his grandparents. I pout at the reactions, but tell them not to worry and order take-out anyways. When the food arrived, I realized I ordered way too much. On the way up to my floor, I take a last-minute glance at the floors and press the fifth. The doors open quickly, and my feet carried me down the hall to the old apartment. I hadn't realized I had knocked until I heard Haz call a quick 'one minute!' When he opens the door, he looks surprised, seeing me dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and one of Tom's sweatshirts.

"You okay?"

"I got way to much take-out," I lift the bag in defense before avoiding his gaze. "Was hoping you hadn't eaten yet? It's okay, if you have, just, honestly really lonely and didn't realize I had ordered so much."

Haz had let out a small laugh before reaching for his keys, "Let me grab my phone, then we can go upstairs and throw on a movie, I'm sure Phoebes and Tess would prefer we were up there since you've been gone all day."

I nod, and let out a small laugh while I wait for him. When we walk back to the elevator, I smile at him before bumping his shoulder with mine. "Thanks, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything-"

"No, was just about to throw something in the oven, wasn't really in the mood for cooking either so it's cool. And, hey," he nudges my shoulder back, "don't feel bad for coming to bother me if you're lonely. We all get that way, and I can only imagine how hard it is since Tom is gone; especially since it's the first time."

"Thanks, Haz."

"I'm just glad he lets me come and bug him, it's helped, and I might as well bug him since he's in the same building." I let out a small yawn, trying to disguise it but am unsuccessful.

"It's late, I know. You should head to bed-"

"No..." I whine, rolling back onto my back. "Wanna keep talking to you."

"You have to get rest, love. I'll call you tomorrow, promise."

"Wish you were here; sleep better when you're here." I whisper, the darkness of the room making it that much harder to stay awake.

"I know, my love, I'll be home soon."

I smile as I let out another yawn. "I love you, Tommy, so so much."

"I love you too, (Y/N). Go to sleep, only two more sleeps till I'll be able to sleep beside you."

"Can't wait." I murmur, cuddling closer to my pillows. "Goodnight, handsome."

"Goodnight, darling."

~

It was like the universe was telling me that I should have stayed home that morning. I should have called in sick, went to visit with Tom's family, spent the day at the apartment and clean. Anything but go into town.

~

I wake up to Phoebe kneading the comforter that rests over my shoulders. My eyes pealing open, blinking a few times confused at the amount of light that was seeping into the room from behind the blinds. I slowly lift my hand from under the pillow and reach for my phone, going wide-eyed as I notice the time was twenty minutes until I had to be at the clinic. "SHIT!" I spring out of bed, Tess jumping and barking at me as I scramble to change out of my pjs and into my work clothes, thankful I could wear jeans and a solid colored tee-shirt since it was Friday. I slip inside the bathroom, brush my hair, pin it away from my face, and brush my teeth before running to the kitchen and fill the cat bowl. I start to list the things that need to be done while I rush Tessa to the elevator to wee, only to rush back inside and dial Haz's number.

"'Ello?" Haz's sleepy voice comes from the speaker.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, my alarm never went off and I'm going to be late for work if I walk and-"

"I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Thank you!" I practically sing into the receiver before hanging up and slipping on a pair of shoes. "Bye babies, be good!" I call as I lock the door and run to the elevator. Once in the lobby, I throw my arms around Haz's neck and whisper a quick thank you again before the two of us make our way out to his car.

Harrison hands me an apple, smiling softly. "Figured you didn't grab breakfast."

"I didn't, thanks again."

He shakes his head, his hair sticking straight up, pointing every which direction.

When he pulls up to the clinic, I have two minutes until my first patient will be ready to come back and see me. "I owe ya one!" I call as I get out, grabbing my bag from the floor.

"Nah, don't worry about it, (Y/N). Have a good day!"

I run inside, smiling at Wilma as I pass to toss my stuff at my desk and log in. Take a breath, you're fine.

As the day went on, one of my regular kids comes in the building frazzled, and upset. "You okay there, Johnny?" I coo, kneeling on the carpet floor to get to his level.

His mom scoffs, obviously annoyed. "There are two men at the back of the parking lot, Johnny believes that they are secret agents and is afraid. Do you happen to know why they might be out there?"

I lift my gaze to meet her eyes, my eyebrows pulling together. "No, I don't know why they would be out there; let me check the front office." I stand from my crouched position and walk over to Wilma, leaning against her desk. "Hey, Wil?" I hear her hum, so I continue. "Do you happen to know why there is a van in our parking lot that isn't a patient?"

Her head snaps up, confusion and annoyance crossing her features. "Again?"

"Again? This has happened before?"

"Yeah, and it looked like they were taking pictures." She leans forward and goes to grab the phone, "I think I am going to call the main clinic and have them send one of their security guys over to take care of it."

I nod at her, my eyebrows pulling together as I fidget with my wedding ring. Taking pictures...? I force a smile as I make my way back to the little boy in front of me, "C'mon lil man, let's go play, yeah?"

"No scary men?"

"Nope, no scary men." I smile as he takes my hand and allows me to take him down the hall, my mind still wandering back to the van.

Once my session was done, I walk the boy to the door before popping in to check with Wilma, only to see that Jeff, the main security guard from the main office sitting in there as well. "Hey, Jeff, Wilma. Everything get cleared up?"

Jeff nods his head, "Yup, thankfully they left without us having to call the police."

"Did they happen to say why they were here?" My fingers tighten around my wrist nervously.

"Said they were trying to get pictures for their magazine, wouldn't say of what."

I nod, muttering a quick 'okay' before smiling at my last patient that walks in the door. They could be here for the clinic, right? That's a possibility.

As the clock finally ticked over to two o'clock, I finished my last report. I sign my name at the bottom before logging out of the account and walking to the main office to tell my supervisor that I was leaving for the day, and I would see him tomorrow.

"Have a great day, (Y/N)!" He called as I walked out of view, fishing my phone out of my bag to text Harrison that I was leaving and that I was headed to the mall to go shopping then would be back at the apartment. My feet carry me up the street, pausing at the post office to drop off a letter to my parents.

Once inside the mall, I wander around to get a look at what stores I might want to look at. After about twenty minutes I end up at a general clothing store. My eyes scan the racks until I find the section I am looking for, looking for my jeans size before placing a few over my arm and leave to find a dressing room. Where those girls looking at me? My eyes glance to the side, a small group of girls looking at clothes, but occasionally look over at me. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear before walking the rest of the way to the dressing room.

The jeans I try on don't fit as well as I hope, slumping in places they shouldn't and just all together, not fitting. I exit the dressing room, noticing more people had started to gather inside and out. It's still summer, maybe people are getting a head start on a school wardrobe?

I stroll back to the section and filter through the jeans again before finding a few more pairs and make my way back to the dressing room. On the way back, I notice a powder blue sundress. I smile as I add it to my pile. I return to the dressing room and try on a few more jeans, deciding on two that fit the best. My eyes lift to look at myself in the mirror, moving to the side to see the dress hung up behind me. I turn back to the dress, pulling it from the hanger and smile at it as I tug my tee shirt over my head and letting it fall to the floor. I pull the dress over my head and let out a little giggle at how beautiful I look. I turn and let the dress flow up slightly at the movement. I smile wider, grabbing my phone and taking a few pictures before shooting them to Tom.

-----

Spooderman<3

You look positively beautiful

I'm so damn lucky

My Princess

So I should buy this?

Wear it for when you get home?

-----

As I send the message, I flinch at the noise of a bang hitting my stall door. "Uh, occupied!" When there is no other noise, I shrug and pull the dress over my head, gather my discarded clothes on the floor, and get dressed. I rehang the dress and jeans, making sure to place the ones I wasn't planning on buying in another pile. As I walk out to hang up the unwanted jeans, a voice catches my attention.

"Miss? Can I ask you a question?" She has her phone in hand, as I give her a short, yet nervous nod. "Are you the girl from the picture?"

I take a small step forward, but not enough to get too close. The girl is maybe sixteen, but that still doesn't settle the nerves in my stomach and the little voice in my head telling me to 'just say no and walk away.' My eyes focus on the photo, and my breath hitches at the image. It's of Tom and I, he has his arm around my shoulder as we walk Tessa through the park and from the looks of it, it was the day before he had left. I shake my head gently, taking a cautious step back. "Uh, nope, sorry, it's-" I swallow, "it's not me."

The girl's eyebrows pull together as she looks back at the photo, "But it has to be you, you look just like her."

I shake my head one more time as I walk back into my dressing room to grab my clothes, but when I walk back out, my heartrate picks up. Outside the door is a small group of girls, with a few more adding on directly in front of the exit. I swallow, taking a small step toward the exit, toward them. "Excuse me, I just want to get past you, the room is open though-"

The girl who had stopped me gives me a funny look, "You lied."

"What?"

"You lied," she moves her phone to show that she had more pictures of me, some were with Harrison, others were of me with any of the Hollands.

My heart tightens in my chest, and its suddenly really hard to breathe. "I'm friends with the Hollands, but-"

"So why didn't you just say that?" Another step toward me, another step I take backwards. I begin to notice that other girls were walking in, none with clothes in hand.

"You aren't exactly being friendly, and it's easier to say no." Another step backwards, my fingers feel like they are growing numb.

The girl lets out a laugh, "So you aren't his girlfriend?" I don't answer, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Her eyes dart down as my hand tightens around the clothing in my hands. "Or are you lying about that too?"

It's a blur, but suddenly I am back inside the dressing room, the lock shaking in my hand as I latch it shut. The girls on the other side are banging their hands on the door. There is yelling, a mixture of people telling me I should tell the truth, that I am not good enough for him, and people yelling at them to back off turn into a jumble of noise as my body betrays me.

You're dying.

You're having a heart attack.

My eyes cloud with tears as faces begin poking under the door, voices coming at me as if I was underwater.

"Just tell the truth!-"

"What does he see in you?"

"Leave her alone!"

"Ugly skank-"

My body hits the back wall, sliding until my butt hits the ground. My mouth is dry as I try and to get air into my lungs. You need to breathe-

The girls continue to yell, and I feel suddenly feel like I am going to pass out- no, I'm going to die- I let out a loud sob as my stomach rolls, the room spinning as my ears ring.

"If you need anything call Haz-"

I reach into my pocket as the pounding on the door becomes distant, dialing Harrison's number from my speed dial, praying he'll answer.

"Hey, (Y/N)-"

"Haz, I need- I need-"

"Woah, hey what's wrong?"

"Can't breathe-"

"You need to breathe with me-" Someone bangs on the door, causing a sob to leave my mouth; I can hear Harrison curse on the other side of the phone. "Where are you, can you remember the store name?" I must have told him, my mouth processing it before my mind. Harrison yells to someone on the other end, but I can't tell what he says. "Harry is calling the store, I'm on my way, I'm going to stay on the phone with you, okay-"

The phone is yanked from my hand, voices drowning me.

I'm going to die-

It's so loud-

My vision begins to get spotty, my body growing cold as my hands tremble.

Suddenly, hands are on my shoulders, someone else is yelling, but it carries something else in its tone. People are being pulled out of the room, the person in front of me squeezes my shoulders as she speaks. "Miss, you are having a panic attack, you need to breathe-"

"I can't-" I choke out.

"You're going to pass out if you don't," I think I'd rather that right now- "In and out with me, okay?"

Breathe-

You need to breathe-

You're panicking

Breathe-

A breathe finally fills my lungs, a familiar voice filling my ears, "I'm her husband's best friend, move mate." My eyes lift and Harrison is suddenly kneeling beside the woman in front of me, grabbing my hands as the security guard moves his head to the side to speak into his radio. "You're safe, you're okay." He moves to sit closer to me, "Breathe, (Y/N)." Another sob shakes my body as I attempt to take in a breath. "That's it, you're okay."

You need to breathe-

You're safe

Just breathe-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Reblog and comment! Hope today was amazing, and if not, than I hope tomorrow is <3.

@revenantwriting | @bellagrayson-wayne | @jackiehollanderr | @snowxbarryxendgame | @let-me-luve-you | @mybitchborky | @linnyalou | @fanficscuziranout​ | @literallytrashhhhhh | @akweenbitch | @marveltomjunkie | @infinitycaprogers

[lumosfm-blog]

❝        and    it    seemed    to    her    that    kisses        ,        voices        ,        tinkling    spoons        ,        laughter        ,        the    𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗹𝗹    𝗼𝗳    𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗱    𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘀    were    somehow    𝑰𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑫𝑬    her        .        ❞           ---        katherine    mansfield        ,        the    garden    party        .

*   ╰     in  the  teal  glow  of  the  goblet’s  flames  ,  a  name  simmers  .   what  makes  you  worthy  of  eternal  glory  ,  sarah - jane  prewett  ? surely  not  your  sordidly  esoteric  &  verecund  nature  ,  for  that  would  undoubtedly  stray  to  failure  .  perhaps  if  your  prayers  to  merlin  were  heard  ,  your  dulcet  &  complaisant temperament  would  glean  you  an  edge ,  but  i  wouldn’t  count  on  it ,  especially  with  the  rest  of  hogwarts  against  you  .   one  would  think  you’d  known  better ,  as  an  18  year  old fourth  year  , but  apparently  that  pesky  hufflepuff  clemency  is  particularly  fiendish  today  .   after  all , these  factors  make  up  a  champion ,  but  even  for  a  staunchly cis  female adhering  to she  &  her  pronouns , it  does  nothing  to  help  that  only  in  the  mirror  of  erised  do  you  resemble  natalia  dyer  , especially  with  that  rose - hued  flush  that  decorates  freckled  features  .  now  ,  are  you  slipping  that  paper  in  or  not  ?

𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉     𝖔𝖓𝖊   .          ╱          𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙨   .

full  name     :     sarah - jane  grace  prewett     .

nicknames     :     it’s  her  full  name  or  nothing     .

date  of  birth     :   february  sixteenth   .

place  of  birth     :     london     ,   great  britain   .

gender  identity  &  pronouns     :     cis  female     ,   she/her     .

sexual  orientation     :     pansexual     .

romantic  orientation     :   panromantic     .

house     :     hufflepuff   .

𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉     𝖙𝖜𝖔   .          ╱          𝙗𝙞𝙤𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙮   .

exhales  in  blease     ...     i  love  her  so  much

originally  born  to  a  prewett  cousin     (     let’s  not  delve  too  deep  into  the  exact  details  there  bc  they  are     ,     in  fact     ,     lacking     )     whom  everyone  thought  had  disappeared  for  a  while  there     ,     sarah - jane  is  the  third  of  her  five  siblings     .     her  two  older  siblings  also  attend  hogwarts     (     big  wc     !     )     .

her  parents  moved  to  the  seaside  to  raise  their  growing  family     ,     and  as  a  result  most  of  her  childhood  was  spent  around  the  sea     .     she  associates  all  happy  events  with  being  near  the  water     .     whilst  she  was  born  in  london     ,     she’s  got  no  real  relation  to  the  city     .     

being  the  middle  child     ,     she  got  away  with  a  lot  that  her  two  older  siblings  didn’t     --- -     she  could  spend  hours  by  the  shore  and  her  parents  wouldn’t  mind  as  long  as  she  came  home     .     she  first  experienced  magic  at  the  shoreline     ---     she  made  a  few  pebbles  start  dancing  with  the  flick  of  her  wrist     .     she  wasn’t  scared     ,     so  much  as  far  too  excited     ---     she  ran  home  minutes  later  to  tell  her  parents  that  she’d  finally  done  it     ,     that  she’d  finally  done  magic     ---     and  it’s  developed  ever  since     .

she  grew  up  with  magic  all  around  her     ,     let’s  not  avoid  that     ---     but  she  was  terrified  that  it  wouldn’t  show  up  in  her  so  the  development  of  her  own  skills  came  as  an  absolute  delight     .

throughout  her  earlier  childhood     ,     she  was  obviously  a  switched - on  kid  with  a  good  head  on  her  shoulders          /          she  was  devouring  the  family  library  at  a  terrifying  pace     ,     reading  everything  she  could  get  her  hands  on     .     as  a  result     ,     she’s  got  a  deep - seated  love  for  reading  that’s  currently  helping  her  through  the  monumental  amounts  of  homework  she  finds  herself  saddled  with     .

she’s  covered  in  freckles     .     literally  fucking  covered     .     surnames  can  change     ,     but  the  amount  of  freckles  that  litter  a  face     /     back     /     varyiny  sets  of  limbs  will  not     .

just  about  cried  when  her  letter  arrived     .     she’d  been  mentally  packing  her  bags  for  months  on  end     ,     and  the  chance  to  physically  pack  her  bags  and  leave  to  start  studying  magic  properly  was  too  much  for  her     .     she  misses  home  dreadfully  but  hogwarts  is  different     ,     sends  a  shiver  up  her  spine  every  time  she  stops  to  think  about  how  truly  lucky  she  is  to  be  here     .

triwizard  tournament     ,     did  you  mean:  wow  i’ll  love  watching  this  but  like  absolute  hell  am  i  actually  going  to  put  my  name  in  the  goblet

𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉     𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊   .          ╱          𝙛𝙪𝙣     𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙨   .

she  knits  by  hand   ,     and  really  enjoys  it   .   she  picked  it  up  on  holiday  one  year   ,     and  it’s  just  stuck   .     she  tends  to  consider  it  as  a  sign  of  friendship     ---     if  she  likes  you  enough     ,   she’ll  knit  you  a  scarf  in  your  favourite  colours     ,     or  a  beanie  and  matching  mittens     .   her  first  attempts  were  rough   ,     but  she’s  gotten  quite  good  and  she’s  proud  of  her  lil  knitting  endeavours   .

fashion  choices  outside  of  robes  include   :   oversized  cowl - neck  sweaters  with  sleeves  that  hang  well  past  her  fingertips     ;   cropped  crew - neck  sweaters     ;     jeans  cuffed  at  the  ankle     ;   corduroy  everything     ;   scuffed  vans  and  brown  leather  brogues     ;   fisherman  but  softer   .

sings  like  a  nightingale          /          it’s  a  rare  but  lovely  occasion     .   sometimes  she’ll  hum  under  her  breath  whilst  she’s  doing  homework     ,     but  it’s  an  effort  to  get  her  to  sing     .     when  she  does  though     ,   it’s  not  entirely  dissimilar  to  siren  song     .

can’t  cook  for  shit     .     let’s  not  kid  ourselves  here     .     she  can’t  cook  at  all     .

every  so  often     ,     she  goes  out  and  feeds  the  giant  squid  some  leftovers  she  nicks  off  the  table     .     she  spends  a  lot  of  time  out  near  the  lake  actually     ,     it’s  reminiscent  of  childhood  to  her  and  there’s  something  special  about  spending  a  warm  afternoon  reading  by  the  lake     .

her  favourite  subject  is  herbology     ,     by  a  long  shot     .

her  patronus  is  a  sea  lion     ,     but  that’s  not  something  she’s  figured  out  yet     .     she’ll  be  mightily  confused  when  she  casts  it  for  the  first  time     .

big  florence  +  the  machine  fan     .     big  hozier  fan     .     you  get  the  vibe  from  those  two  alone     .

her  pet  of  choice  is  an  adopted  kitten  that  she’s  been  raising  since  the  summer     .     his  name  is  heathcliff     (     she  was  rereading  wuthering  heights  over  the  summer     ,     give  her  a  break     ---     she’s  got  a  soft  spot  for  classic  muggle  literature     )     and     he’s     a     little     tabby     thing     that’s     growing     at     an     alarming     pace     .

𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉     𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗   .          ╱          𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙     𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨   .

╰    ◦    ♡     ――     study  group     .     --- --- --- -     pls  give  her  a  lil  study  group   !     they  meet  up  in  the  library  every  few  days  and  help  each  other  study   .   there’s  a  solid  mix  of  houses  in  there     ,   and  she  bakes  muffins  for  them   .     honestly     ,     it’s  just  a  rly  wholesome  lil  group  that  support  each  other  and  it’s  cute  and  i  love  it  a  lot   !

╰    ◦    ♡     ――     i  don’t  love  you  like  i  did  yesterday     .     --- --- --- -     listen  i’m  a  shameless  sucker  for  young  love  so  like     ..........     “ exes ”  that  dated  in  their  second  or  third  year  and  realistically     ,     they  were  16 - 17  so  it  wasn’t  the  world’s  most  meaningful  relationship  but  she  held  a  special  place  for  them  in  her  heart  regardless     .     she  just  doesn’t  love  them  in  a  romantic  way  anymore     ,     and  considers  it  to  be  a  strong  platonic  relationship  instead     .     god  knows  what  the  other  thinks     .

those  r  just  two  super  specific  connections  that  i  thought  of  but  realistically  u  can  throw  anything  at  me  and  i’ll  have  a  wee  bit  of  a  cry  over  it  

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[girlbookwrm]

A New Year’s Thor

THE MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES WITH KENNETH BRANAGH’S thor

How did I spend New Year’s? Continuing our mighty pre-endgame rewatch with The Roommate ( @goteamwin ) and The Gal Pal ( @pegasuschick ). We’re watching Thor, the Kenneth Branagh-i-est of the Marvel Movies.

Note: We were all. Very Drunk. 

“You know what’s worked great in all our movies so far? TIME JUMPS!” - every early marvel film.

right away I comment to The Roommate: What is up with all these angled shots? 

The Roommate, a video editor and producer: Actually that’s called a canted shot.

Me, mere moments later: not a lot of shots in this that AREN’T canted, are there.

seriously, watch this movie. If I made note of every canted shot, these rewatch notes would be 90% CANT.

Stellan Skarsgard here bringing the Nord, and Natalie Portman bringing the... wait how the hell did they get Natalie Portman in-- oh right. Kenneth Branagh directed this.

hey it’s Tonsberg! like from CATFA! Neat!

listen there are too many blue cubes in marvel. This was super fucking confusing when I was wee and not yet obsessively into Marvel. There’s the Casket (which the frost giants use) and then there’s the Tesseract (which is different? but also blue??) and let it be known that in the comics there is ALSO the cosmic cube which is NEITHER of those things but the roommate initially called both the Casket and the Tesseract the Cosmic Cube, because -- as was previously mentioned -- this is super fucking confusing.

Let it be known that the Roommate, when quite young, went to see this movie in theaters with her very first boyfriend on her very first date.

The Roommate, Way Back When: So... they’re gods? like? the norse gods?

The Roommate’s Very First Boyfriend: They’re actually aliens.

The Roommate, Now: He was wildly underexplaining this.

what actually is this ceremony? what does it accomplish?

Tom Hiddleston has said nothing yet, but he has said So Much. Also, 

The Roommate: Who is that  lovely woman in the horned helmet? Loki has a beautiful woman’s face.

The Gal Pal: He does make a beautiful mare. The MOST beautiful mare, in fact.

She is Not Wrong.

thank god someone saved us from Malibu Thor here, he is Too Blonde

“I, Odin Allfather, Proclaim you the Frost Giants.” 

this must have been so confusing for all the Asgardians here.

Oh hey it’s Sif and What’s His Face and That Other Guy and F...

farrrr...

franduil?

fan... dis?

AT THIS POINT WE HIT MIDNIGHT WHILE IDRIS ELBA WARNED US TO BE CAREFUL IN THE COLD WASTES OF JOTUNHEIM

FANDRAL!

fandral is his name.

At this point, while the fighting was going on, we got a lil side tracked talking about the movie in general.

The Roommate: It’s like the Temptation of Thor. Christ spent 40 days in the desert, Thor spends 48 hours in New Mexico.

The Gal Pal: Are you saying Thor is better at this than Jesus?

The Roommate: No, I’m saying he’s half-baked.

This is the first time Thor flies with the hammer and all i could think was “oh my god the hammer pulled you off???”

Dear Anthony Hopkins, what are your acting choices?

Anthony Hopkins: HUARGH!!!!!

aaaaaand thirty minutes in, we’re finally back to the beginning.

“Yes I did” Darcy is a T R E A S U R E

So much of this movie is Thor becoming unconscious. bless.

C A N T

All men (with a few odd token women), grilling, pickup trucks, literal “hold my beer” -- u s a, U S A, U! S! A!

pooter!

Hey! Phil is here!

aw yissss thor with no shirt -- sidenote: he’s definitely freeballing it here, right? I mean there’s no way he’s wearing underwear under those jeans. Doesn’t that chafe on his little hammer?

Let’s all agree that right up until he goes way off the deep end, Loki is 10000% not wrong about any of this. Thor was definitely not ready to be king, he was an idiot. and also, I was never much of a Loki fan, personally, but Loki’s having a real bad day. 

Grows up being told that he was destined to be a king, but there’s only one throne --> has to watch his idiot brother get ?crowned? --> decides to play a prank (who wouldn’t, right?) --> fRoSt GIaNt???????? --> BRoTHerR BAnISHedD????????? --> FROST GIANT???????? --> ODINSLEEP?????????? --> KING NOW?????????? BUT FROST GIANT STILL??????????????

Loki and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

And seriously, what was Odin’s plan here? “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, and I’d just pepper in the fact that you’re a frost giant and I kidnapped you and you’d be totally cool with it.”

Odin Allfather: A+ parenting, Literal baby snatcher.

THIS DRINK! I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!

The Roommate: I love that Jane’s motivation isn’t really to get with Thor, it’s to get with SCIENCE.

Sometimes I forget that this is actually a funny movie, but they just had no idea how to handle the comedy in it? like, they had a comedy script and they just filmed it like a straight drama/action movie for some reason.

“A pioneer in gamma radiation” Is that bruce???

follow up: yes. Yes it is Bruce.

The canting here is Very Cant.

What time of year is it in NM that everyone is wearing this many layers.

Thor being all: “I know ur midgardian but I’d tap that.”

Jane Foster: Brilliant Scientist, Menace on the Road.

Why. Why is the SHIELD site set up like this.

What purpose does it serve

why.

W H Y.

(subnote, we investigated this afterwords and apparently it’s designed to look like a sigil of the word SHIELD, like all the letters smooshed on top of each other but also IT IS NOT and also also THAT IS DUMB AS FUCK.)

(though grudgingly, i admit, thematically appropriate given the overall norse-ness of this movie.)

(STILL FUCKING STUPID)

sitwell!

What is causing this rain?

The Roommate: Because, like everything else from Asgard, Meu-myeh is Extra™

Hey it’s Hawkguy!

Side side note, I am pretty sure that I also went to see this movie with my very first boyfriend and he got super excited about Hawkeye like “omg it’s clint and he has a bow and he’s so fucking cool omg omg omg!” and i was just like “????? kay? but he passed over all those obviously superior guns and then he does literally nothing tho????”

fast forward and the first comic i bought for myself was Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye

aaaaand I’m dating a woman now.

Honestly cannot tell if windy or cant

H U A R G H ! ! ! !

I really want to go into the roommate’s Benedict Cumberbatch Upgrade Theory of Tom Hiddleston but also this is getting super long and honestly she’s so right it deserves its own post

nah I’m gonna

The theory goes like this: Bandersnatch Cucumberpatch is an alien scout sent to learn our ways and gain influence in our culture, but he’s like, the first draft. They weren’t really sure what a human was supposed to look like. 

Tom Hiddleston is Model 2.0

Tom Hiddleston is the upgraded Benedict Cumberbatch

The roommate explained this to me and I just looked at her sidelong for a looooooooong minute and said: u sure u want me to put this on the internet? r u sure??

“You have great power, Heimdall”

The Gal Pal: yeah, ur the only black man is Asgard.

“hit you with my car” WAIT IS ALL THOR’S CHARACTER GROWTH THE RESULT OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

*CANT INTENSIFIES*

Thor: I’m just a man. Just a very tall, very handsome, VERY buff man.

wouldn’t it have been AMAZING if Jane had caught the hammer instead? I mean? WOULDN’T THAT HAVE BEEN FUCKING AWESOME????

Frigga: She Did Her Best, But She Still Raised The Two Dumbest Boys In the Nine Realms.

Despite my earlier statements, Loki definitely does end his day with attempted fratricide, successful patricide, and questionably successful genocide so.

“Is it madness? Is it? IS IT???”

The Roommate: I mean. Yeah, buddy.

At this point, Thor has No Idea what the fuck is going on. he doesn’t know Loki’s a frost giant.

ORRRR he does know, because everyone knew, everyone but Loki always knew.

Odin: *WAKES UP* WTF ARE MY SONS DOING?

“no loki” ODIN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DUDE

“you’ve already made me proud” literally all you had to do was say that to your other son one (1) time.

wait is this a foo fighters song???

[sakura-cheesecake]

Love

Non-Canon Prompts: Mermaid Merman AU

Request : Can i requests the mermaid AU ♥️ ? This time Sasuke is a merman who fell in love with a human Sakura! Thanksss 

Summary: He was a merboy when she first met him, force teaching him to say her name right. She was a doctor, all grown and beautiful when they met again and fell in love. 

It was summer and she was not happy. The little eight year old had to go over to stay with her grandparents during the summer when her parents went to the US to work with something they said ‘will be the biggest thing in this century !’. They just dumped her with her maternal grandparents yesterday with such hurry that her papa forgot to give her grandpa his sake. The old man had been complaining about his son-in-law to his wife for a day now, and Sakura could just roll her eyes. 

Why do old people love Sake so much? Doesn’t it kills you? Wasn’t it the cause of cancer and other fatal diseases? She swore she would never touch any alcohol in her life ! 

It was boring as hell too. Her grandparents live in a small town in Miyazaki, the very south of Japan with little fun things to do. It often rains too, forcing her to stay indoor with her granny and her cats. Her granny has seven and for some reason, all seven of them seems to hate her and would hover over the old woman protectively whenever she approaches her for a dango or bedtime story. Though, one of them would sometimes be civil with her and let her pet them before turning bipolar and ran away, hissing at her as if she were a dog before chase her to her grandpa with its claws. Good thing her grandpa scares them and the fur balls know that it wouldn’t be a good idea to cross the old man before dashing back to her granny. 

Today was different. Her grandpa brought her to a beach on a bike. He told her that he was going to go fishing with a few friends for some hours and that he wanted to show her the beauty of the ‘Miyazaki’ beach. “Bet’ in Tokyo, there’s no beautiful beaches like in Miyazaki !” He proudly yelled to his only grandchild, paddling the new bike his son-in-law and daughter gave him last year with the eight-year-old to the beach. They pass many shops which surprisingly greeted her grandpa as the duo pass by, even young shop keepers who look as if they just got out of high school knew O’ Haruno-san, the man whose step son married his own daughter years ago. 

When they reach the beach, there was no body there for it was a very gloomy looking day but to her grandpa, it was the perfect day to go fishing with his old pals. 

“ Katsuki! ” An old man shouted from the deck, he ran to his friend, “ So this is yer’ lil’ grand-girl. She’s very pretty despite having you as her grandfather ” The fisher man said. He smiled at Sakura, showing his projecting teeth, all bent and yellow, one was even golden and shiny. 

“ Shut it Yuzuru. You’re just jealous that I married your crush. ” Her grandfather barked, he smirked. 

“ Oi ! I NEVER had a crush on Kiko ! ”  The old fisher man grunted, he drop the little debate and drag the two Haruno on to his big boat. ‘Aoi’ was its name, for it was painted in pure blue, even if it looks as if it was last painted years ago, even a decade. Sakura ran off to explore the ship. The Japanese flag was dancing on the top pole of the ship, it was like the big one she has in her house back in Tokyo. There were lots of boxes, all smell like fish and seafood, it makes her want to stop eating seafood for a month from smelling those captured animals. There were also tanks, large and small tanks, some were laying on the floor, some were stack on one another with tubes and nets. The equipment looks rather brand new compare to the old ship that the old fisherman is bragging its history to her grandpa while he would( or probably ) half-listen to it. 

“ Are you fishing here? ” Sakura went to ask a fisherman who was carrying a few fishing baits on his shoulder while walking by. 

The tan skinned native shook his head, “ Nah, girly. We’ll sail far into the sea n’ fish big fishes there. ” He kindly replied before continuing off. 

‘ Sail off into the sea? ’ The little girl thought, ‘ I don’t want to go into the sea! Even when grandpa will be with me! ’ 

The mere thought of this boat going in to the sea makes her feel sick. When she was younger, she remember being extremely seasick when her parents took her on a boat to Jeju when they were on Holiday in South Korea. It took her an hour to recover but by the time she had, it rained, so they had to cancel going to a fun park and stayed sheltered in a cafe( Though, her mom was fine with it since this cafe was one of the places she wanted to visit since it was a main location in one of her favourite K-Drama )

Sakura went to find her grandpa in the control room with the old fisher man friend of his. It was rather a small room with many buttons like in the many Hollywood movies she had seen but the letters were all Japanese. 

“ Grandpa. Can I wait for you at the beach? ” She tug his pants lightly, her green eyes pleaded him. “ You promised me to show me the beach but since you’ll be fishing, I won’t be seeing the beach ” 

Her grandpa looked at her, “ But who will you be staying with? ” He asked with concern. He wasn’t sure if it was wise to let an eight-year-old play in the shore for who-knows-how-long, fishing could take days to months but this one was made sure to be a one-day thing so he decided to tag along and made a promise( more like a lure ) to his grandchild that he’ll take her to the beach. 

“ I’ll go into a nearby store to call granny when it gets dark. ” She told him, “ And I know which people are not ‘safe’ to talk to too. I’ll be fine ”  

“ You remember granny’s number? ” 

The girl nodded. 

“ Fine. Run along sweetheart ” He sighed in defeat. Sakura beamed happily. She said goodbye to the two old men and ran eagerly to the beach. 

The sea was fighting against the shores, washing white bubbles to the wet sand. It was reflecting the blue sky, but as the waves reach the shore, it turned clear crystal, washing seashells to the shore and some trash. 

Whoot Whoot. 

‘Aoi’ whistled, sailing off to catch fishes for the day. Her old man waved to her as he went further into the sea. She waved back, yelling for him to catch her a mermaid on his way back, despite knowing that such creature does not exist except tales for children( which does not fool her since she’s a big girl !)

When she couldn’t see the boat anymore, she ran. She ran along the shores, avoiding sharp seashells poking from the sand along the way and deeper to near the coast. There was a cave, a wee bit far from the dock. She had spotted the big cave when she was on the dock a while ago. It was interesting and something about it was telling her to go explore the said place. 

So here she was, peaking into the dark cave with nothing to light the place up. Weeds covered some of the stone. She could hear the echo of the waves washing up against the pointing stones and cave walls everywhere, it was relaxing to her, too relaxing that it could make her fall asleep. 

The ceilings of the cave were also stones and rocks, the water reflection made it looks as if there were light dancing on it with blue hue. Seashells sat on the bottom of the stones, all piled around in an odd circle as if someone had place them here. It doesn’t look very natural. 

What if this is a shrine?

‘Maybe a sea shrine for those who were lost at sea’ she thought. She didn’t dare to go any further into the cave for she didn’t have any flashlight or anything that can lit the place. She could get hurt, she knew. 

So, Sakura decided to play near the entrance, running slowly with herself while playing pretend that the cave was her house. She collected pretty seashells from the cave too, making them flowers in front of the cave and some were food. 

Just as she was about to pick more shells from the cave, she spotted a figure from the ocean behind her. It was a boy. 

When he noticed that she spotted him, he quickly went into the sea and didn’t came up. “ Hey !” She shouted after the boy and ran to the spot. 

There was no body under the clear ocean, no trace or clothing of the boy that she just saw, she panicked. ‘What if he had drowned?!’

With out thinking, she ran into the sea while call out to the unnamed boy. She couldn’t see him as she went deeper and deeper. It was then that her head had been the only thing of her body that is poking out of the ocean. Her feet couldn’t even feel the sand anymore ! 

She was afraid. 

She remember purposely holing her goldfish out of the water to pet it for ten minutes before going to school one day, despite knowing that she’s killing it, she just wanted to know what’s it like to pet a slimy fish. It died the minute she put it back into the tank, her mama was mad with her when she came home. That was her mama’s favourite baby fish in the tank, the chubbiest one he rmama ever had ever since she was a kid. 

She felt very guilty. 

Wouldn’t she feel more guilty too if she knew she shock a boy and he drowned ?! 

Haruno Sakura is not going to be an indirect murderer at the age of eight ! The girl frowned. She had decided ! 

She quickly inhale deeply before going under water to look for the boy, she had tried to open her eyes a little by little but it was too salty for her. 

“ !!! ” 

There was something brushing against her feet ! She gasped and went up. Her heart was beating fast and she was afraid. What was that thing that just brushed past her?! A fish? 

It couldn’t be a fish. Before running off the boat, that tan fisher man told her that there was no fish near the shore ! Aside some little ones but they only come out at night !

Maybe it was some trash or clothing that was floating in the sea ! It had to be it. Sakura calmed herself before inhaling deeply again and sink into the sea. This time when she opened her eyes. 

It was the boy she saw earlier, staring back at her with curious eyes. 

She was shock she pushed herself up again and look down to where she saw the boy. He emerged after her and both blinked. 

“ You’re ok! ” She beamed. 

He didn’t respond. 

“ Let’s get back to the shore ” She said and swam back to the beach. When she turn around to find the boy, he was still in the sea but was now closer to the shore. 

“ Why are you still in the sea? ” She asked, tilting her head in a manner her papa always squeals by saying that she looks ‘cute’. 

The boy stayed silent. He just looks at her as if she was a something he doesn’t see often. 

“ If you’re not going to come out, I’m going to drag you out of the water ! ” She demanded. He still sat perfectly still in the shallow water, looking lost at her words. 

The pink haired girl mentally counted one to ten and marched to the boy. She spotted his arms and pull it. His skin was so smooth and cold. It was as if he had stayed in the water for hours already ! Where are the kid’s parents ?!

She pulled him. He merely look confused at her and didn’t resist. It was then as if time stopped itself when the girl saw why the boy stayed in the water. 

He didn’t have legs. He had fins ! 

“ A merman? ” She gasped silently to herself. She couldn’t believe it. She was a girl of science,  she dreamed of becoming a world-known doctor and researcher in the future; thus the reason of her not believing in fairy tales. 

Until today, at least. 

“ Can you speak? ” She asked him, dropping his wrist. 

He still look at her with a blank expression and Sakura smack her forehead internally. ‘Who teaches Japanese in the sea !’ Then, an idea popped up. What if she teach him Japanese ! 

Summer break in Miyazaki now seems like a fun idea. Spending time teaching him Japanese and maybe in the end of the summer he’ll be able to tell her tales of living in the sea for her ! 

So. Sakura sat on the sand. The boy blinked and retreated his body back into the shallow water before setting himself in the old spot again. 

“ Sakura ” She pointed herself. 

The merboy tilted his head in confusion. She then repeated herself, this time going slower, “ Sa-Ku-Ra ” 

“ Aa-U-A ” He said. 

“ Sakura ”

“ AA - U - A ”  

And the day was spent by her telling him how to pronounce her name correctly.

“ Don’t go ” The merboy said to his new found friend. It had already been the girl’s entire summer break. She was leaving. He didn’t want her to go. 

She was the first human being to made contact with him. It was awkward at first, meeting her on his cave. She was playing in front of it while he was inspecting her from afar. She had pink hair, shoulder length that looks like the pink corals in the deep reef near here. Her eyes were green like the sea foams he had seen during the hot days near the surface, sometimes it would be dark as seaweeds too when she seems to be having a bad emotion. 

He had never seen a human with odd colorings before, so it lead to her teaching him Japanese, a human language that is use in this country.

“ I’ll come back next summer ” She told him with a smile, tugging her animal book to her chest. It was already dusk, the sun was already sinking into the dark horizon and she must go home. Her parents will be back to pick her back to Tokyo tonight, and she has to go wash up. 

The merboy frowned. “ When is next summer ? ” He asked. 

“ Next year ” She smiled cheeky-ly 

“ So I have to wait for you for 365 days ” He said. “ That’s too long ” 

“ Not exactly 365 days but I’ll come back before you know it ! Just count for the days and I’ll be back before you can count the 300th day ! ” The pink haired girl gleefully said. She kneel down on her knees and gave him a hug. 

He jumped a little before staying still. 

“ This is called a ‘hug’. People do it to their close ones ” Sakura told him before letting go of his cold skin. His face was a blank as ever but as she had gotten up to her feet his face went from stoic to panic. 

“ Sakura !” The merboy shouted after the retreating girl. She was already too far away from the shore, too far away for him to grab her, too far away for him to crawl on his hands to catch her on time. 

“ See you later, Sasuke ” 

She came back again when she was twenty one. Graduated from the top medical school as a doctor, she chose to work in Miyazaki’s local hospital instead of Tokyo’s, even though the hospital in Tokyo was more well known and better paid, her heart told her to choose her. 

She was spending her day off at the Miyazaki beach, walking along the familiar shore she had run along thirteen years ago, farther away from the population and to the cave she had once played in. 

It was still the same beautiful cave she had played with an old friend of hers. The boy she wanted to sort after ever since she was young but never had the chance to. She wanted to keep her promise but she had broken it, despite wanting to not break it. It made her feel guilty now that she doesn’t even remember his name or his face. 

But she remembered teaching him how to speak and having a little crush on her childhood friend. Yes, he was a handsome boy with dark eyes that sparkle like a starry night sky and same dark hair with deep blue hue. It’s a shame that it’s all she remembers of him. 

“ Sa.. ” It was the other thing she remembers of him. 

What was his name? Satoshi? Sato? Sakamoto? Samui? She wasn’t confident. It could be a weird ass name or other native Miyazaki names she doesn’t know. 

The wind was blowing against her softy, soothing her and making her sun dress dance around calmly. 

It was then she heard a big splash nearby and was alerted. 

She didn’t see anything fell into the sea at all. And she was sure as hell that no big fish would come this shallow near the shore. Her curiosity got the better of her and she marched to where the big splash was. 

It was a boy. 

The same boy she had seen years ago. 

He submerged to the surface with his eyes lock to hers. A soft gentle smile was pestered on his handsome face as he got closer to her. 

“ Hello. Sakura ” He said. 

She blinked in surprise and kneel down on the shore. She wondered why he didn’t come out of the sea or how he manage to make a splash that big and slowly surface as if he was a merman. ‘ Did he canon balled off that cave’s cliff and just greeted me like that? ’ 

“ H-Hi? ” She waved at him weakly. The young looking man came closer to the shore but kept his body from below his chest in the shallow water, showing his fine shoulders and pale white skin like the snow to her. He smiled at her with the realist smile she has ever seen. “ Do I know you? ” She asked bluntly. 

Sasuke’s smile faded instantly. She could see his dark eyes turn from gleeful happiness into blankness and shock in an instant. “ You don’t remember? ” He questioned her as if he was whispering, “ You.. You’re.. You don’t? ” 

“ Are you the friend who I use to play with when I was younger? ” She asked. “ Sa.. “

“ Sasuke “ 

As if time has stopped. All of the childhood memories she had forgotten of him came flashed into her mind. All the times, all the plays, all the books she had carried from her grandparents’ house to the shore everyday and the fact that he was a merman came back at her. 

And the promise she couldn’t keep.

‘ I’ll be back before you can count the 300th day ! ’

“ Sasuke ” 

She’d found him again. 

The waves were washing against the cold sand for winter was coming. It was a good O’ day like for the past week for the doctor on leave. Her swollen belly was really big for a five-month-old pregnancy. She didn’t dare to do an ultrasound at the hospital yet, she wanted to let her husband see their little fish together when their good friend, Naruto, could come and lend a hand in smuggling her big papa fish into her work place. 

A big splash caught her attention as her green eyes spot her husband’s figure emerging from the sea. The last time she had been pregnant, he had brought some of his family to meet her, his mother, who was shock yet excited( too excited ), his brother, who was very calm yet has sparkles in his eyes and his father who was very stoic and refused to speak in Japanese, voicing out in some weird language she assumed was her husband’s mother tongue before excusing himself and left. 

She sat down on the shore, slowly shifting to avoid falling. Sasuke was quick to swim to her and stood his pose in case she fall into the shallow water. 

“ She seems to be excited when daddy’s here. ” Sakura smiled at her round belly, her little guppy had kicked her when she felt her papa’s presence. Sasuke’s cold hand went to touch her round tummy and chuckled. 

“ She? ” He gave her a questioning look. Did she dare to go for an ultrasound already? 

“ Just a feeling ” She gave him a toothy grin. 

“ Papa ! ” Came a voice from behind Sakura. It was their first born running after her in her cute long shirt and long jeans to cover her scale-covered legs. When she reached the shore, she quickly pulled down her pants and jumped into the sea with to tackle her papa. 

“ Sarada ! I didn’t bring you any spare ! ” Sakura shouted at her little girl, but the girl didn’t care and continue to tackle her daddy, showing him her swimming skills with her semi-fins-and-legs. 

“ Let her ” Sasuke said. It was, after all, five years since she had last seen him. She was only three when he took her down into the ocean with his wife diving after them with odd equipment on her face and mask. ( I can’t hold my breath under water nor have marine organs like you ! I’ll die in 10 seconds ! ) 

She had grown beautifully, looking more like him as she grew. “ Can we go visit your family today? ” She asked him. 

“ Mama can’t follow, though. ” Sasuke said as he held his child in his arm. He’d lost his dominant left arm when Sarada was two, when he was coming to visit his family and was caught by a fishing net, unluckily, he was bleeding and it attracted sharks to him. 

Sakura had been too worried since, offering him to not meet them again or come live with them as soon as she can save enough money to buy a house nearby with a pool with sea water in it. It was done just a month ago.

“ What if you guys get into another shark attack? ” Sakura asked. 

“ I’m not bleeding, we’ll be fine ” Sasuke answered her, his sole arm bounced his eight-year-old, making her giggle. “ And my clan’s not far from here, they actually wanted to meet you girls but my sister-in-law just went into labor days ago, so we had to keep moving so the sharks won’t follow her blood scent. ” 

“ So, You’re an uncle now? ” Sakura smiled. She remembered Itachi and his mate, as what her husband has told her about. Merpeople don’t have marriages, but they have mates and they bond. Once it happen, it happened. No changing the mate partner for life, even if one dies. 

Sasuke was not like the majority of his kind, he had asked her to refer to them as husband and wife, wanting to adapt to the human culture more and even refers to his relatives by the human way. 

“ Yes. Three boys. Joy ” Sasuke chuckled. “ Itachi went pale for days ” 

Sarada then wiggled out of her father’s arm and went to dive around him. She was eager to meet her cousins and relatives, even though some of them doesn’t speak her language and speak with weird noises, like her grandpa. Sasuke shouted her to wait and gave his wife a quick kiss. He promise to return their little girl tomorrow morning and went after their first born as the sun was sinking into the orange horizon. 

This is where she met him years ago. Where a lost boy whose first word was her name, now her lover and husband( who, no one but a few of her trusted friends know of ) and a stubborn girl with a curiosity of the ocean met. It was where they parted, where he had waited for her, counted days for her to return. It was where they had met again, all grown up with duties, hers as a doctor and his as the son of a marine clan. It was where they had kissed, made love, had their two little guppies, with one on the way and the other swimming into the deep sea with her papa. It was where her house would be as she had finally saved enough money to buy the land and build their house near the sea, right next to the street and the sand, with a little pool filled with salted water for her husband, in case he wants her to drag him to their house. 

And it would be the beach where their family would grow filled with love. 

Extra scene how they got married and conceive lil Sara-chan is here !

[officialvneckvigilantes]

literally all of the asks. i dare you do it

wait... for real? gee, i mean thanks i really appreciate it but i feel bad for everyones feed now1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? probs something cheeky like "so, come here often?" or somethin like that2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?¯\_(ツ)_/¯3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?nope its their life4. Is your last name longer than six letters?nope5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?uhhh in between?6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?yeppppp like most of the time7. What does your last received text say?"oh shit dill! yooooo"8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?bruh its been a while idk maybe like a handful?9. Where was your last kiss at?someones dorm10. When is the last time you saw your sister?literally at work this morning lol11. What do you drink in the morning?juice or excellence12. Where did you sleep last night?alone on my futon13. Do you think relationships are hard?no but ya gotta put in the effort yafeel?14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?yeaahhh15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?no but id just rather not16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?sunny17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?yea18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?i like jeans but no pants is best pants19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?i fucking hope omg20. Does anyone like you?i think so amd i hope they do21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?nah 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?maybe my old dormmate from scad but even that i can get over24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?yeah i want constellations on me25. In the past week have you cried?nah26. What breed was the last dog you saw? pitbull + something (idk what my dogs mixed with)27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?out like why tf would i dry off in the wet shower 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?no29. Do you think you’re old?this is based on perspective and you know that. 30. Do you like text messaging?yeah i think its a nice casual way of keeping in touch31. What type of day are you having?a pretty good one32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?maybe but idk man33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?warm weather is fun for summer but i want snow in wintert goddammit34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?relationships have much more meaning but honestly thats up to the gal i just really want affection at this point36. Are you a simple or complicated person?uhhh im kind of a wildcard so who fucking knows theres a lot going on37. What song are you listening to?the radio rn but recently it was learn to fly by foo fighters38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?yeah of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?i dont think i even know almost everything about me tbh40. What made you start liking the person you like now?WOW what a question uhh cute/gorgeous? funny? personality? has shown affection/interest in me? like what more do you want???41. When did you last receive a text message?9:34 group chat 3:55 text42. What is wrong with you right now?wow thats a loaded question so next43. How well do you know the last female you texted?we kinda just met so theres still a lot to learn but so far kinda well44. Does anyone disgust you?people who dont show consideration for others or the environment45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?hell yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?yeah id say so47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?my parents?48. What color shirt are you wearing?black v neck, baby49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?no i dont think so50. Anyone you’re giving up on?nah i dont think you should ever give up on anyone51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?no. not even a little bit52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?no53. Do you like rain?yeah its real relaxing 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?no way i can make her cool drinks!55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?like 90% of them omg 56. Do you like to cuddle?uhhh who doesnt?57. Are you shy?in some situations but people always tell me im really social 58. Do you get along with girls?yeah idk why59. Have you dated the person you texted last?no? 60. What do you carry with you at all times?phone, wallet, keys 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?yes whats more haunting than student loans 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?yeah and i would really want to 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?yesssss65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?yeah. like a lot of cute shit66. How old are the last three people you kissed?well now youre asking if ive kissed three whole people67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? uhhh68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? leopard print reminds me of early 2000's mall rat ladies so dear god no69. Do you have any stickers on your car? yeah from all the schools i attended70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? idk man does it really matter?71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? i like apples ui and the simplicity but ive been using android for the past couple years. just got the s8 and its great. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? last week?73. Do you like diet soda? eh. dont like dont hate74. What color are the walls in your room? 3 are tan one is black75. Are you 16 or older? yep76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? nope77. Do you have a job? yep catch me at that bed bath and beyond life 78. What are your initials? ztf79. Did you ever have braces? yeah it kinda sucked80. Are you from the south? no81. What does your last status on facebook say? "sinners." in reply to a mountain of cardboard boxes in my old dorm82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? yeah83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? probs my dad84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i did gymnastics when i was a wee lad85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? dude idk im just pumped for cars 3 midnight release86. Do you smoke? nah87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? ew88. Is your phone touch screen? wow 200889. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? it kinda just does its own thing and i love it for that90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? yeah91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool for swimming, lake for canoeing92. Have you ever made out in a car? woah yes and theres a big story behind that lol93. …Had sex in a car? not like full sex but hand stuff yea94. Are you single or in a relationship? as single as the last 20 years of my life (very)95. What were you doing last night at midnight? watching the office i think96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? new years but i got a bunch that i wanna light97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah it great for snapshots and convenience but ill always prefer my dslr98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? ...like healthcare? no99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? nah 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? i dont hate anyone so no101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? if i was pregnant i wouldnt be the only one who was scared102. Name your favorite Kesha song: why103. Do you have any tan lines right now? HA no im white as fuck but maybe in the summer ill burn up some color104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? for realsies or for fun? cuz yes to eitherthanks again for asking me!! i appreciate it a whole lot!

[thisgeekyteacher]

I feel like I ended up barrelling into September without really being able to take a breath. The comedown from six years abroad has been pretty brutal, but it’s not all been bad. September has been a wild ride!

  HEADLINE OF THE MONTH

I’m still not paying huge amounts of time on the headlines, or at least I’m not retaining them. Lack of routine for much of the month hasn’t worked in my favour.

  FOOD / DRINK

I baked! Hallelujah, I baked!

Baking is my happy place!

It was interesting, for sure. Getting used to a new oven is always a bit of a teething process, and it being a fan oven, I have to re-jig temperatures every time I bake, but I managed to produce a pretty decent batch of brownies, and I’m suitably chuffed with that!

I know it’s baked right when the top is all cracked and crispy!

Outwith that, the lack of structure to my days has left my appetite a little all over the place, as has a lack of job, but slowly I’m getting there! I have been back on the soup train, which is even more delightful now that I can get my hands on parsnips and butternut squash.

Butternut Squash and Parsnip Soup

  READING & WRITING

The tube is, I have found, wonderfully conducive for reading. I’ve not read huge amounts, but it’s a nice wee window of time where I can get through a fair chunk of a book – the benefit of being a speedy reader!

Another, far less welcome, reading window has been the sleepless nights that pop up every now and again. The stress and the unknown of job hunting takes it’s toll, all of which culminated in a night of next to no sleep last week, but on the plus side, I finished a book. Having loved Song of Achilles, I was intrigued to see what Madeline Miller had to offer with Circe. Whilst firmly rooted in the same world, even mentioning Achilles here and there, I found Circe to be far less enthralling. Miller’s knowledge is clear in her writing, but for me, Circe just wasn’t as compelling a character as I’d have liked.

I’ve also been working my way through more crime fiction. In August, I spoke of Alex Grey, who sets her books in Glasgow. In September I’ve been tackling two books, Natural Causes by James Oswald, set in Edinburgh, and Birdman by Mo Hayder, set in London.

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying Oswald’s book, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the McLean series. Hayder’s books are much darker – she is also the author of The Devil of Nanking, which I recommend. Her content is heavier, darker, creepier, but her characters are compelling and keep you reading.

  WORK

Job hunting is not a fun time. It is not a fun time at all.

As it’s an on-going process, I have not much to say as of now!

Watch this space. I hope!

  TV / FILM

With the weight of job hunting, it’s been all about the comfort viewing. There has been a whole new raft of movies and TV shows avaliable to me on UK netflix, and of course the first one I go for is The Great British Bake Off! What a show that is – a most excellent comfort watch.

Finally (and yes, it’s been a long, long time coming) I was persuaded to watch The Hangover. It’s nuts, and I loved it!

There have also been many episodes of travel man, which if you haven’t seen, I urge you to watch! It’s fabulous, and I’d love to be Richard Ayoade’s travel companion!

  ACTIVITY

Until this month, the only museum I had ever visited in London was the V&A (the Victoria and Albert Museum for those not in the know) and now I’ve knocked a few more off my list.

I visited the British Museum with a friend from Korea, but we barely made a dent in the extensive collections on show. I need many a return visit. It was quite something to see all the Egyptian artifacts – and overwhelming to see just how much has been… questionably acquired.

I also made it to the Natural History Muesum, and of course I made a beeline for the dinosaurs. The main building of the natural history museum is a beautiful piece of architecture, and the collection that I managed to see was fascinating. Having seen images in books for years, it’s a whole new experiences to see things in person.

Dippy is on tour, so I got to see Hope the Blue Whale. She’s pretty awe-inspiring, I have to say.

I also found my way to the Tate Modern, with a wee walk over the Millennium bridge as well – I might have had a little geeky moment on the bridge! Again, I need many a return visit to the Tate Modern, but one exhibition in particular stuck with me: Magic Realism, centered around Weimar Germany. It was fascinating, and the book will most likely be purchased… reasons I need a job: books!

A pretty neat view from the Millennium Bridge, or at least, I think so!

I’m hugely thankful to all my nearest and dearest who have taken me on walks and detours around London in the last few months! I’m still learning my geography, but it’s so much more fun exploring with friends and family – even if they are significantly taller than me and I’m so busy jogging to keep up that I don’t take everything in! I have done an awful lot more walking here than I did back in Korea, however, and I’ve been really enjoying it! Definitely the best way to learn a city – but be safe at night, folks!

  CRAFT

To my great delight, I have been writing letters once again – something I have been very bad at over the last year. As you might have noticed from past posts, I like to make my own stationery. It’s been so therapeutic to be making things again, and they look rather smart with stamps on, if I do say so myself. I’m also back on regular bullet journaling. It’s nice to have a crafty outlet, however small. Drawing is slowly coming back into being, also, with these lil’ monsters angling to make their debut!

    MUSIC

September (and before) has given us some gems!

After dropping her album early in August, I finally got around to properly listening to Nicki Minaj’s new offering in September. As always, she doesn’t disappoint. Following on it’s heels was Eminem’s newest album, Kamikaze. He evolves with every release, and this is no exception.

There have been some awesome Korean releases. Pentagon came back with Thumbs Up! Not their strongest title track, but the album as a whole is great, and I much prefer the album tracks. It’s the same for Oh My Girl with Remember Me. Their newest title track isn’t my favourite, but the album tracks are better.

There have also been offerings this month from Good Charlotte (yes, they’re still going), Passenger, The Kooks (yup, they’re still about, too) David Guetta, Josh Groban, Christine and the Queens, Sigala and Kodaline. Such a range of music, you’ll have to wait for a mixtape monday to hear about it all in more depth.

  FASHION & BEAUTY

I’ve said it already in this post, but I’m not fully acclimatised to British weather yet. It’s as changeable as Korea can be at this time of year, but it’s definitely getting darker and colder at a faster pace here. As such, the coat has already come out, and the winter scarves are beginning to make appearances.

What is new for London, is my pavement pounders. I’ve never been a great trainer wearer, but when you’re walking as much as I have been, a good pair of trainers are a must (that and I’m now in the months away from from thirty countdown, I’ve got to think of knees). They happen to be the same colour as my wellies, much to my families despair, but I love them!

There was a brief stint of work this month, which required business casual as standard, something I didn’t have to adhere to in Korea, so a few choice purchases had to be made in the work wardrobe department. Lots of black… a fair portion of florals… It’s always floral season. Always!

  MISC.

Considering I have just spent the last six years in the land of tea, I have been irrationally excited to be back in the land of British tea. I feel that we’re pretty experimental over here, which leads me to my Misc. for the month. Sexy Earl.

Off we went to Whittard’s, in search of Russian Caravan, which has only become more elusive in my time away. We found the Russian caravan, but man was the sales pitch something else, and I was duly won over by the combinaiton of mango and passionfruit tea and earl grey tea. I can’t tell you the ratio, but it really does own it’s name. It’s a sexy cuppa!

A sexy earl in a sexy cup! 

    As I’m now gainfully unemployed and chasing that freelance life, if you fancy keeping this geeky teacher running, chip in for that finest of energy juices: coffee!

Best of… |September 2018 I feel like I ended up barrelling into September without really being able to take a breath.

[gsmatthews95]

Ze lakes and ze mowntins

Hello. We are in a new country, yay. We were in Montenegro for a while it turns out, much longer than the other countries, mainly because there was lots to do. We had fun. I write to you now from Kosovo, breaking my tradition of writing on the bus because our journey into Kosovo was unconventional and difficult to find the time and rhythm to write a flowing piece. More on that later. I am currently in the bus station, so not much difference really, in the middle of a potentially stressful saga. Hopefully by the time it has been completed/solved/ended/resolved I will post this because I aibt in a WiFi zone ATM. I am writing now, not because my brain has the urge to express Its creativity but because an old man has Alina stuck in conversation in German about Yugoslavia I believe from the limited words I understand and we have 3 hours to kill. This should take up lots of that I hope, I may even give you a whole post about the trip to Kosovo if you like.

I left you all at the coast, after a weeks sunning and chilling, since then we have been to three places (notice three, the convincing number when essay writing): lake skadar, podgorica, and the durmitor national park. Let's go. So we went to a wee town called virpazar on the lake because it was said to be more "busy" than any of the neighbouring towns. The only was this could be true would be if the other towns were inhabited by 8 people. Oh yeah we actually visited one and yes it did have a population of maybe 30. Virpazar was a nice size, had a good vibe and the right amount of "busyness" for us. We arrived and walked to our campsite. A mile walk. In the midday heat. It was intense. And highly sweaty. We got to a sign "500m to campsite". Ok we can make this. Then right below it "autokamp 20m". Interesting. We went in, same price, closer to town, had a shower and toilet. Fine, we'll stay here. This lady's campsite survived we think because lazy backpackers who can't be bothered to go all the way to the official campsite stop in her garden, lol. Fair play. It was chilled. Our plan for our few days was to get a canoe, defo. Go wine tasting and go on a walk. We did two out of the three. Sadly wine tasting didn't happen. However, getting a canoe on the lake was one of the best days we've had. Geared up with four bottles of water tonnes of food and a two man canoe for the day, we had a belter. The only downside of the day was the actual canoeing. Lord that was long and tiring. On reflection what would have made the day better would have been having a tiny electric motor on the back so we could chill more. He he. That being said being on a lake meant the waves were generally non existent/very small. We canoed thru canals and across the open lake to a bridge. We then found a beach, cute. Chilled, ate, played cards and swam, easy. Next we paddled along and across the lake to the islands on the other side. That was a struggle. Intense paddling, chanting and extreme motivation got us there. We then found a private beach. Yeay. I say beach there was a metre bit of beach and lots of rocks. But it was ours. From there it the real struggle. Against the wind and waves we bombed forwards, doomsaying and paddling. I won't lie that 15 minutes was bleak. But we found a alleyway in between the waterlillies which protected us from the waves and life was good again. We floated thru this idyllic alleyway and even found a way thru the reeds and grassland. It was beaut. We carried on in this vein floating thru Lilys and sitting sunbathing in the canoe. It was lush. By six we made it home making it a nice day long activity. If y'all ever fins yourselves on lake skadar get a canoe and not a boat trip. The next day we went on a nice walk along a road round the lake to a neighbouring town. Nice views. But it was hot. We got there, happy with the walk but then realised we had to get back ahhhhhhh. Luckily we found a lush fig tree with loads of figs and a nice taxi driver let us hitchhike with him back to virpazar. Perfect. A nice lil trip. Then it was on to 

Podgorica, the less said about this place the better. The capital of Montenegro. The most underwhelming place I've ever been. It was butterz and boring. We moved on. The best thing about Podgorica was that I couldn't say Podgorica and kept calling it pogdorica instead. That shows the extent of its allure to us.

We then bombed it up to zabljak. An idyllic little town in the durmitor national park up north in the mountains. It looked like a little swiss skiing village just a little bit less pretty and more random. It was nice. We had a homestay organised with an old lady who spoke not a word of English and had no signs to her house, not even on the house. Useful. We got to the area, with three houses but couldn't find it. We had an old lady shouting out of her window giving us directions, in Montenegrin. Pointing us to a house opposite. We went there. Asked if it was the place. No. Do you know this place? No. Then her daughter arrives who has perfect English and says she knows it. It turns out the house was 20 metres down the road and the old lady was her mums close friend but she only knows the lady by her nickname so didn't recognise the guesthouse name. Wow. They were literally two letters different. Lol. But was made it and after a slight issue on the pricing (our fault) all was sorted. Our plan for the next Day: hike. Woo yay. We planned the simple day walk around the three lakes you can walk to from the town. The whole day went perfectly.  We wandered down relatively early along the road with the other tourists. It was busy, didn't look good. We paid the three euros entry and walked along to the first lake. Very easy. It was also buff. Lovely. It looked like a lake from Canada or  Switzerland. Gorgeous. We wandered around it, scrambling over rocks and the further we got the less people there were, good. It seemed most people got there and took pictures then left. The lake was clear, had two parts and mountains rising Up around it with Christmas trees everywhere, all over the mountains. Very pretty and xmassy. I went for a swim in the lake, it was cool and lush. Not too cold. We carried on our walk around and on to the next lake. A nice little hike with barely any people. We got there. It wasn't as clear as the other one. More like lake skadar. Green with lilies everywhere. It was nice. We wandered around getting a good amount of exercise and fresh air. We ventured on. The third lake was cool, they were all very different. This was in the middle of grassland and as you got closer you sank in to the lake as it expanded. This was it as we went home thru the little town in the park and they the mountains. And what made it all better? Within five Minutes of returning home it started to rain AND Tottenham beat fulham. What a day.

I think I'll speak about our journey in a separate blog post. Which I'll actually write now cause we still have two hours to kill. So you'll get a double post from me.

Pray for us as this saga is still not over. G.

.

[tssfhr-blog]

[C-1 / M-18] Text One

i tried to write a short bio about myself and my music project

but

Bio

Kharkiv

13

too yolo for being a DJ

ambient, noise

Weaponized naivness, helpless attack

Kanye West, PJ Harvey

Bee Pole EP

Pure EP

Love LP

NII, Powerhouse, Plivka, Zhyvot

A/V

CHSZM - experimental electronic project of Aleksei Podat, based in Kharkiv, Ukraine. Started producing music at the age of 13 after being an EDM DJ at St. Petersburg pirate radiostation for 2 years.

Now he creates melodic noise which he describes as sound of “pure naviete weaponized by haunting helplessness of logic&QUITE-EMOTIONAL-APPROACH-TO-ANYTHING&O - V - E -R -R RE-ACTING"T[M]. His greatest influences were Kanye West and PJ Harvey, as for now among them appeared some Kyiv(NO)-meta-based artists like (Ivan Skoryna) - is - (actual artist name) John Object, and Moscow (Still-NO;still-meta) based media-artists AWN-naw

(wowww, an artist doesn’t have a PAGE, HOW’S THAT, MR. Цукерберг, Марк, Mr TAG EVERYONE ON EVERY BIT OF YOUR tinyDaATa ttmmm] soundcloud.com/awn_naw

so: and Zurkas Tepla

[the..articles are so difficult, I know how journalists may feel, sometimes, about posting a klikByte-headed material about poverty, war, or numerous G20 Ideologic rave party, I AM CHARLIE, CHARLIE SHEEN CAUGHT ROBBING WALLtm-MART NEAR THE FREEDOM ST., BUT luckily, the casser worker! had called the police last night, when they! heard some "sounds of (violent) noise.. haha great my friend got a vynil of this, which i have no possibility to actually hear, my sounds of noise are shaped by the bloodstream of mine and the clone of Mine[tm] who hopes, i hust buy it as fast as he could be tauht, at their trial lol trial, you have noone to feed, don’t you, family-less, dropped out of nowhere worker huhhh]

NEXT PARAGRAPH is/was/will be ABOUT - ( WHINNING ABIOUT UKRAINIAN BANK ACCOUNTS NOT ACCEPTING BANDCAMP TRANSACTIONS TRHOUIG PAY PAL DAM)….

I GOTTA MAKE THOSE FUCKING CASSETTES NOBODY REALLY NEADS, EXCEPT ONE ( you are dramqueened, lolll) Ph.D of USA University, which i respect, for the interest in New East culture. [I’d like them to show me. where’s the new east, so i could finally show em the old one]

Me Respect Professos, what’s wrong with that huh?)))), I am studying at Karazin University, I AM studying political sciences, without a bit of post-truth politics, just post-truth patriot-oriented education, it’s quite depressing. (UBA - shorter, smarter look, more modern than the actual modern term Ukrainian Bank Accounts, and it sounds like UBER, like not the taxi service, which robs every piece of his stuff, including the clever-auto-routed-cars. of course. If they are clever, they are good enough to be credited as stuff, AND BE TAKEN SERIOUS SUPPOSEDLY I GUESS MAYBE i don’t kno, tho, lo ve16/03/18 first LP has been self-released you kno, i gottaa promote it, and i do my best at it, since i left label with audience in Facebook of 3k people - next kp - k people, not k-pop,; Soundcloud like 7+kp (non k-pop also, they don’t even use it, u must be kidding, kidDO - kidDO - essential mobile app just for YOUR smartphone, to get you a proper kid. Look at you(r,) "kid” and look at “kidDO"TM!!! - exclamaiton marks are here to gain psychical pressure on our deer, hi that’s was bad jokey…like your kiddo, dear, dear, very dear, and precious customers, not to exclaim that we have registered this trademark with absolutely obvious "misunderstandings” with law, and fully understanding with the power….forces..FORCES OF POWER, OF

LOVE,

U

KNO, TO OUR CUSTOMERS…so, not to seem a little bit weird but I don’t feel lonely, I have a great support of my family and friends, I sometimes do just awful things to them, like…idk…being an artist with great not only the creative potential, but a POT(i’d smoke this sh1t on 3v3ryday bas1s in case I would have agreed on following the path of using potential #2, it’d be weird if i liked a chance to be a person like in example NUMBER TWO, u kno, TWO, 2, LOSER, FUCKING LOOSER,) ential of sitting my ass out near shitty PC on windows XP (Mhhmhmm, safety, in Ukrainian IT companies… is quite interesting quiestion, wee(d) n(w)eed to look at it from different perspectives, different angles…) (actually i do the same at my dorm, or at mama-house(TM haha, no, sry, i’m not THAT misogynistic human being, to EVEN Imagine™ my mother, as a woman, first of all (fck offff my “i-understood-Freud-wrong-but-1-read-it-ironically-so-fuckk-you”-mates, I understand these great postmod(ern)(ehhh)(snobbyy)(but i like it) possibilities that came out as a pale garbage, like from the corpse, the corpse of a most pale kidDO (of course if our company be mistakeyy just a lil bit, like “oops”), as soon as you got a thought in you head like “Oh, over-using (that small dash as a reminder - if you misread oversueing somehow, goto "mylawyer” and think a bit once, than a little bit more, and than turn your MINDPOWER [LP3, 2026 new demos never, I know, I’m a bit of paranoid about showing my stuff to anonymouses like ISIS or Presidents, like very very bad presidents, like, I even don’t kno who to mention, but you’ve got the point, they could rip off my MASTERPOWER [LP0 It was already released, and you are not talanted in googling enough to find it eat my t-shirts, to be more accurate, not shirts, i’m not that “kid” if he could be reffered like this too, since 29 years of struggle through average mid-class family “oopsey-woopseys”, Hey, CC [NoN-creative-commoned-Comedy-Central, so “™”], wanna see an episode dated 1999 where Bart SimpsonS, using his MINDPOWER, obviously"TM", becomes a high-school breakbit-techno-house-electro DJ BioSex [in reversed order, please, mix, but do not shake, please, to make a cocktail which our modern “underground electroni#css” music scene like really deserves

ADVERTPERVERT ROUBRIQUE [le]

Fill a collins glass with ice. Add tequila and midori, fill rest of glass with sour mix, and garnish with an orange slice and a cherry. Then drink it by yourself if you truly believe, that you are great at mixing 4/4 tracks, OH GOSH HOW MEAN I AM, I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN TO A PERSON WHO JUST MAKES A LIVING ON DOING EVERYTHING HE WANTS, LIKE VINYLL FLIP-FLOPS, AND CD’S CHANGINGGGG [REALLY HOT DOWN HERE, YOU NOW, HEATING IS GOING LIKE SHUSH, ITS JUST SO HOT UNDER THE DJ TABLE FUCK IT, IKEA, YOU GOTTA DO SMTH WITH IT]..sorry,..fck, almost forgot about this phoney thingy [IKEAtm - more than trade, more than marks, IKEA rules, here are scandinavian workers tired sparks (around head) (from amusement, how GOOD, it TASTES, to eat CHICKEN, at the TABLE, you know you PRODUCED, but you DON’T CARE [mArXXXattention - marxists fukof, i know i’m using some kind of “not really accurate” info!! about your DAD’S BOOK, i’m sorry, I never gonna touch it again, I promise, peace] [Fuck xxxtentaciwho, i don’t stand public image of a talented musician to be spoiled with so fucked up facts, like beating someone for a long time, or having sex with a person against their will, and that’s not a joke. Pretty sad that talented freshmen will never be a talented human being for me, but he still is for someone, and those are might be fucked up as hell also, not as much as a person, who fucks another with a fork, or other objects [even if he does it in postmod, that’s cruel to kids, think about what happend to WW2 kids, and X it on the quantity of eyes that never seen the damn piece of war [lucky ones, would be like to feel a bit like that] [i’m lucky too, but not that much, you kno, “Sloviansk"TM, or how it frequently was trasliterated from "local-pronounciation” - Slavinsk [CC license] - [src: telegraph.co.uk/…/Donetsk-police-chief-forced-out-as-Ukrain…, BTW! using a chance of such a productivity FUCK Telegraph, and probably fUcK BBC News [can’t find a source, but i remember this LE GOOGLE-LESS JOURNALIST REPORTAGE for not having a MINDPOWER, and what’s more important, for them, as professionals, of “dividing"TM "bad people"TM and "good people"TM - a MASTERPOWER ability. Purchase Love LP. LP is for Pl which is for [sorry, my polish friends, and people who don’t understand slavic-english-writing-stYLO [stereotype], sorry, I’m very very sorry, that IT HAPPENED[TM], yeas, Pl - which is for Please! Sorry! I admit, I took you to the really dark place, but I Love you, and I really want you to survive. [really enjoying’ my time with those funny Latin letters, playing with them, omg, i don’t even kno what doessss the DAMN.[really liked it, but TPAB was way better, please take a note, Kendrick, i’m your fan for 3 yrs, my opinion weighs smth, huh? I don’t even have fans which are able to notice when i delete a bunch of my “First Relaeses” from bandcamp. That’s for good, actually, I’d like not to get any messages containg things like “Hei Aleksei! Your first release Ножові was great and thought-provoking, and your last LP called..let me think, Laugh? Life? Ah, I remembered it’s called] half of my words mean

And yeah

Love / OUT NOW

CHSZM - noise music project of Kharkiv based media-artist Aleksei Podat.

Hometown: Sloviansk

Birthdate: 25/08/1996

gosh, i got these voices sequenced to 4/4 again, moom. I need a PROFESSIONAL HERE

if you got some psychologist help to advice, i’d be shy, but greatful

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