#but first my dad suggested ‘pyramid scheme’

[alastor-and-adam]

Welcome to Our Blog

Presented by Adam (the First and Most Perfect Man) and Alastor (the Delightful Radio Demon)

Art by @YoiteArt on Twitter/X

Adam: Of course, I’ll start. As the first man—the literal blueprint for perfection—it's only fitting that I set the tone here. Welcome to the greatest blog you'll ever read. Why? Because I’m on it.

Alastor: Ahaha! Now, now, Adam, let’s not scare them off with your endless self-aggrandizing right out of the gate. Greetings, dear readers! Alastor here, your charming host and co-author. Together, Adam and I will enlighten, entertain, and likely horrify you in equal measure.

Adam: Speak for yourself, Radio Boy. I’m here to teach, inspire, and remind everyone how lucky they are to bask in my presence.

Alastor: Ahem. While Adam prattles on about his... shall we say “greatness”... let me assure you this blog isn’t just a shrine to his ego. We’ll cover a delightful mix of musings, stories, and—most importantly—tales of our darling Evelyn. Isn’t she just the sweetest thing?

Evelyn: *looking like a deer in headlights at the sudden attention*

Adam: My genes, obviously. She’s perfect.

Alastor: Aaaand back to Adam. But before we dive into the chaos, let’s lay down some rules, shall we?

The Rules of Our Blog

1. No Minors Allowed.

Adam: This is Hell. Not daycare. If you’re under 18, get out.

Alastor: Quite right! Some topics may be unsuitable for impressionable young minds. And by some topics, I mean most topics.

2. Be Respectful.

Alastor: Discourse and debate are welcome—encouraged, even—but rudeness will not be tolerated. I do have a reputation to maintain, after all.

Adam: Translation: play nice, or Alastor might rip your spine out. Me? I’ll just make you regret existing.

3. No Spamming.

Adam: We don’t care about your scams, your sob stories, or your pyramid schemes. Post garbage, and you’ll be dealt with.

Alastor: And by “dealt with,” Adam means I’ll creatively banish you. Do try to avoid it; cleaning up the mess is such a bore.

4. Don’t Talk About the Fruit🍎

Adam: One time. ONE. DAMN. TIME.

Alastor: Ahaha! Oh, come now, Adam. You did doom humanity. That’s quite the legacy!

Adam: And you’ll doom yourself if you bring it up again. Moving on.

5. Evelyn is Off-Limits.

Alastor: Evelyn is our precious little treasure, and she’s absolutely not to be mocked, insulted, or criticized.

Adam: She’s my legacy—my perfection incarnate. If you so much as look at her wrong, I’ll make sure your afterlife becomes a personal nightmare.

Alastor: Wait don’t you have Cain, Abel and Seth?

Adam: *crosses his arms* I don’t want to talk about it…

6. Keep Your Soul to Yourself.

Alastor: While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I’m not here to make deals. I’ve got enough souls to keep me entertained for centuries.

Adam: And I’m not interested. I’ve already been cursed once, thanks.

7. Stay On Topic... Mostly.

Adam: If I’m giving you wisdom, listen. Don’t derail it with nonsense.

Alastor: Although, a bit of creative flair is welcome! I do enjoy a good story or clever quip. Just don’t bore us.

8. No Evelyn Slander.

Adam: Didn’t we already cover this?

Alastor: Yes, but it bears repeating. Just don’t.

9. Dark Humor is Fine—But Watch Yourself.

Adam: We’re not your therapists, and we don’t want to be. Keep it funny, not pathetic.

Alastor: Well said! Clever wit is appreciated, but tasteless drivel? Why, that’s just embarrassing—for you.

10. Have Fun—or Else.

Alastor: This blog is meant to entertain! If you’re not enjoying yourself, perhaps the problem isn’t us, but you.

Adam: And if you’re going to whine, I suggest you leave before I block you into oblivion.

Adam: There. Rules laid out. Can we get to the part where I talk about myself now?

Alastor: Ahaha! Oh, Adam, you never stop. But yes, dear readers, dive in and enjoy. And remember: everything here is done with love, mischief, and just a hint of malevolence.

Adam: Mostly from me. You’re welcome.

Alastor: Ahem. Of course. Welcome, and enjoy the show!

[hermitreunited]

For the fic Q’s— 2, 12, 16, 18, 19, 22, 26, 34, 38, 42 & 45 I’ll look forward to your response 👀

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come? Legwarmers is a Klaus and Dave ballet au wip, and just the fact that I’m saying that is kind of a huge departure from form for me. That it’s fluffy and ballet, of all things?? That it’s unfinished and I’m just kind of posting it on the fly - it’s very much just doing this hobby for fun, whereas normally I’d be worried somehow about conserving my ‘writing energy’ for ‘important stuff’ or some kind of garbage. I’m glad I’m doing it!

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why? because I’m worried somehow about conserving my ‘writing energy’ for ‘important stuff’ or some kind of garbage. I spend a lot of time usually trying to wait out my ideas and not write them down, and I’m starting to think that’s a pretty dumb plan, because creative energy is not a finite resource, and in fact I’m starting to see that it might be one of those things where the more you use, the more you get.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention? Not really, it’s mainly about my interest in the thing, and even if readers were invested, I don’t think I could keep writing something that I’m just not interested in anymore. Although it is likely that the interest of others can keep my interest up longer? So not exactly, but it’s hard to say? Not consciously.

18. What’s your most underrated fic? Alright no one is following me for Dirk Gently anymore because it was always a tiny fandom and now that it’s canceled it’s even tinier - an absolute tragedy - but I’m really proud and pleased with Important Stuff to Do in the Woods, my singular dghda fic. It’s got less than 100 hits but I think it’s really cute, dangit! and it was my first foray towards anything approaching ‘cute.’ And it feels very in-line with the spirit of the show to me and the show is my actual favorite thing ever and I think it’s a turning point towards my fics being less drowning in angst and being angst with a hopeful bent and that means a lot to me.

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick? 😬😬I.. I wouldn’t want to do that, yipes. (#the mortifying ordeal of being known) buuut okay a mix of aspirationally what I’d like my work to be and what it actually is probably is reflected in the scene in second chapter of Everyone Gets Here Eventually, the family dinner scene when (spoiler alert I guess?) Klaus meets Dave’s family and Dave finds out about the book. It’s definitely angsty, which is the realistic view of my writing, but I think it’s got some complicated sweetness in there which is what I hope for my writing to be. And it’s a lot of dialogue, which is very on brand for my un-descriptive self.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed? siriuspiggyback reading and commenting on my stuff was,,, pretty cooooool and I was a normal amount of cool about it. and when daemons said nice thing about my fic I think it’s likely that I threw my phone across the room. There’s no question that screaming was involved, but that’s the case with every comment.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised? Usually there is some kind of thing I’m focusing on, some kind of growth point I’m trying to nurture? and so if someone comments on whatever that was for that fic it’s really exciting, like on Bad Stuff in a Bad Place people have commented on the visual quality of it and that’s what I was trying really hard on so it thrills my heart to hear when I succeed! In general though good characterization and voice is so important so it’s always gratifying to hear when that works for people!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way? I mainly don’t even expect to get a reaction, so just getting comments is a lovely surprise. A few readers had a different take on the ending of eghe that I really didn’t expect…

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why? The throughline of this ask game answer is that I never think of the fact that I have readers, like ever, so no. When I write I leave little comments as I go as though I am myself a reader and I just write stuff that I enjoy, and I’m only ever writing what I like.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten? Bad Stuff has 4086! Which has finally thankfully surpassed my old old Teen Wolf fanfiction that previously held that distinction.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself? I mean, angst isn’t really a genre outside of fanfiction, is it? I really write fanfiction though, like even my original stuff is very much in line with the norms of fanfic. My original stuff is ya, does that count? I feel like mainstream fiction doesn’t have nearly as specific terms and so it’d just be called ‘drama’ which is crazy because I would never pick up a book that termed itself that way.

Ahhh these were really great questions, thanks Courtney!! It was pretty fun to get to do this here at the end of a really productive year of fanfic writing and look back at what I’ve done.

[egcdeath]

first impressions

pairing: soft!ransom drysdale x reader 

summary: [request] “hmm prompts... Ransom introducing you (a total opposite of him) to his family for the first time, or a Thrombey wedding! if you feel like it” i like where your brain is at anon! but why not a little bit of both? ;)

word count: 3.7k

warnings: pretty fluffy, some angst, toxic family dynamics

author’s note: this has been super lightly edited so pls forgive any mistakes <3 click here if you’d like to be added to my taglist & all reblogs are super appreciated!

You felt slightly out of place driving through the neighborhood of your youth in the passenger seat of Ransom’s beloved Beamer. Thinking of how your parents would react to your boyfriend, let alone his lifestyle of excess, made your heart rate increase, and you shuffled a bit in your seat unconsciously as a result of your nerves. As if he were reading your thoughts, Ransom set a steady hand on your knee and gave it a tiny reassuring squeeze before parking in front of the curb ahead of your home. 

Nervously exiting the vehicle, you watched wordlessly as Ransom grabbed your overnight bags from the trunk, and hauled them over his shoulders. Still saying nothing, you reached out and grabbed Ransom’s hand, constricting his circulation as you strolled up to your door, and rang your own doorbell.

When your mother whipped open the door and offered you an excited grin, you finally were able to let out the breath that you weren’t even aware you were holding.

“Goose!” your mother cheered, squeezing the life out of you while you snuck a glance at Ransom who seemed rather amused by the childhood pet name. “And who’s this?” she asked, pulling away from you and looking him up and down.

“I’m Ransom, your daughter’s boyfriend,” he announced with confidence, offering your mom friendly smile, before glancing back over at you and raising his brows the slightest bit. 

“Finally putting a face to the name, then. I’ve heard all about you from this one. Come on in,” she gestured for the two of you to enter. “Y/N can show you to her room, and dinner will be ready in about a half hour,” with that, your mother was off, and you were once again alone with Ransom.

You showed him up to your room, where he set down the bags and flopped down onto your bright pink duvet.

“Goose, huh?” he questioned, rolling on the hyperfeminine twin mattress. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled, before sitting down next to the headboard of the bed.

“Do you think she liked me?” Ransom asked, seemingly out of nowhere. “Did you tell her good things about me?”

“Since when do you care about what other people think of you?” you giggled a bit, and planted your fingers in Ransom’s hair. 

“I care because…” he thought for a moment, calculating just how honest he wanted to be. “I care because this is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and I want my future parents-in-law to like me.”

“We’ve been together for like, a year, Ran. But I applaud your commitment to me,” you massaged his scalp as you spoke, and ignored the butterflies floating throughout your torso at his mention of marriage. 

“Well? Do you think she likes me?” he asked once again. 

“Mmm, I like when you care about things,” you pressed a little peck to his forehead, and hovered a bit over his face. “She said like, 20 words to you, max. But after dinner I’m sure they’ll like you. At least I hope they will.”

Ransom playfully swatted at you. “How comforting. Wait, stay right there,” he reached up and held the hand that was massaging his scalp in place. 

——

By the time dinner came around, you seemed to have switched emotions with your partner, as you were feeling much more relaxed, and Ransom on the other hand, was not.

He kept a hand on your knee under the table in what seemed like a grounding technique, squeezing every now and then while your father plated your meals.

“So, how did you two meet?” your father questioned, sitting down beside your mom.

“We met while we were volunteering at the Humane Society together,” you gushed, glancing over at your partner who was nervously sipping his water, then back at your parents. “He always seemed so pissed in the beginning. I mean, the amount of times I saw him growling obscenities while tugging on harnesses, or playing the most unenthusiastic games of fetch I’d ever seen in my life is astounding,” you laughed softly, and looked over at Ransom once again as if you were cueing him to speak.

“Yeah, I really didn’t like it there at first. Not really a dog guy, but my grandad said it was community service or no allowance, and I was not interested in the latter,” he chuckled awkwardly and received confused expressions from your parents, which granted you an SOS squeeze on the knee. 

“Um, anyway, one day we were closing, and I went into the last cat suite, and there grumpy old Ransom was, cuddling with Garfield, you know, the old cat with the three legs, and it was literally the cutest thing I’d ever seen. Especially ‘cause Garfield is so hard to please,'' you paused to take a bite of the food in front of you. “We started talking more after that, then he asked me out, and of course I said yes. I guess the rest is history.”

“Aw, Goose, that’s so cute!” your mom cooed, but the moment didn’t last too long. 

“What do you do for work, Ransom?” Your dad asked, tilting his beer at the man. 

“I’m currently in between jobs. But, uh, I’ve been doing a lot of volunteer work.” 

Your father nodded wordlessly and paused for a second. “Volunteering get you a Beamer?”

“Dad!” You interrupted in a yelp, “please.” You frowned as you looked between the men. 

“Y/N, it’s fine. It’s a good question, but I got it as a gift a few years back. And, you know, my family’s comfortable.”

Before your father could respond, your mom popped in to save the conversation. “No money talk at the table, please. Tell me more about your relationship,” she gave both of you a sympathetic look. 

——

After that, dinner went on without much of a hitch, and you agreed upon doing the dishes with your mother while your father and boyfriend prepared a little fire outside.

“He seems sweet,” she commented after a long period of silence. 

“I’m glad you think so. He was really worried about you not liking him, and honestly, I was too,” you rinsed the last glass before setting it in your dishwasher.

“I just want you to be careful, okay? When you have that much money, people do strange things, or say things they don’t mean and expect you to just take it. He seems like a good boy, but just don’t let your guard completely down. The last breakup you went through-“

“Stop, I get it,” you sighed softly. 

“This doesn’t mean I don’t like him. I just don’t want to see you that hurt again,” she gave your arm a soft squeeze. “Let’s go stop your dad from catching a murder charge,” she beckoned you to follow her out to the backyard, where your boyfriend and dad were… laughing together? If you weren’t so relieved, it’d almost be off-putting. 

The rest of the night went alarmingly well, Ransom finding a way to bond with both of your parents after an awkward first half of the evening. As the two of you crawled into your tiny bed and spooned while drifting off to sleep, Ransom slurred a tired ‘I think they liked me,’ into your ear. 

From that point on, Ransom’s position within your family only became better. For the first time, he was welcomed into a familial environment that wasn’t more toxic than a Chernobyl cooling tower, and Ransom was loving it. After suggesting to spend that year’s Thanksgiving at your parents’ home, spending the holidays with the L/N family became a frequent occurrence for the two of you. 

Though you occasionally wondered why you were four years into a relationship with the man, and still hadn’t met his family, which to your understanding, was rather large, you had better things to concern yourself with. You understood and respected that Ransom’s relationship with his own family wasn't the best, from the little that he shared with you, but occasionally curiosity often got the best of you.

Yet, things seemed to shift after your engagement. In the midst of dress fittings and cake tastings, Ransom had decided that it was finally time for you to meet the rest of the Thrombey clan, and that there was no better time than Harlan’s book release party, which was being celebrated out in California, at the Thrombey Vineyard.

In your years of relationship, you’d become no stranger to luxury, and the finer things in life, but arriving at the Vineyard put you in awe at just how affluent these people were. Perhaps that’s what happens when you’re one of the great writers of your time, and your offspring go off to become equally “self-made” successes.

You were a bit tired from the three hour difference between Boston and Sonoma Valley, and as soon as you hopped out of the car at the vineyard, you could only think of getting to your room, out of your baggy travel clothes, and to sleep as soon as possible. 

Trailing behind Ransom, you looked around at the vast expanse of crop-filled land around you in astonishment while you walked up the cement path to the mansion, not really noticing the petite woman with curled blonde hair, and an oversized straw hat approaching you. 

“Oh gosh, you must be Y/N!” she said gleefully. “I’m Joni. I’ve seen you all over Ranny’s Insta,” she paused and looked you up and down. “Well, you do look a little different there,” she chuckled.

“That’s great, Joni. Maybe you can Tweet about how exhilarating and life changing this experience has been for you to all your little pyramid scheme friends.”

“You’re always so rude, Hugh,” she sneered.

“I forgot about your chronic victimhood. Goodbye, Joan,” he rolled his eyes, and practically tugged you inside the massive building in front of you, before dragging you up the stairs. You were honestly in a little bit of shock at seeing how nasty Ransom got from just a small interaction.

You set your Louis Vuitton Keepal, and aluminum suitcase down on the granite floor of the bedroom, before flopping down, and spreading your limbs out on the massive memory foam bed that sat in the center of the room, “What was that, Ran?” you questioned as he sprawled out next to you.

“The reason why I didn’t want you to meet them. They’re like sharks, looking for anything that even resembles blood in the water,” he threw an arm around you and yawned. “We can talk about this in the morning, though. Right now, I think that both of us need a shower.”

“Speak for yourself, you stink bug.”

“But what if I get lonely in there?” 

“Fine,” you huffed, moving his arm off of you, and heading off to the en-suite. 

That night, as you stared at the blank wall in a vain attempt to quiet your mind enough to fall asleep, you questioned if coming to meet Ransom’s family was more of a mistake than you initially anticipated.

The next morning felt a bit frantic. You and Ransom woke up a few hours before everyone else, as they’d been in California for a few days now and had adjusted to the time difference, while you two had not. An in-house chef made you two a gourmet buffet of a meal while housekeepers laid out your clothes back in your room, and you were feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the sudden interferences in your life. Though it was nice to not have to do all of the work, you weren’t sure how you felt about other people doing it for you. 

The majority of your day felt similar to that morning. You quickly realized that Ransom’s fortune was just a small portion of the Thrombey estate, and that his family were essentially a bunch of monsters with money. Throughout the day of horse riding, wine tasting, and wine painting workshops, you couldn’t help but notice how they turned their noses up at you, treating you, and the staff working at the vineyard, like some sort of outsider. 

Your alienation only became more apparent during Harlan’s celebratory dinner, when insults and sneers were tossed at both you and Ransom for being together. 

“Are you trying to get revenge on us, or something?” Richard asked at one point, gesturing to you, and catching you completely off guard, 

“Why would you say something like that?” Ransom asked, trying not to let his offence show as his jaw clenched.

“It’s just not like you to want to settle down, especially with someone like… her,” he spoke about you like you weren’t sitting right there.

“No, I agree,” Walt added. “For once in our lives I agree with you,” he laughed aloud, and a few other folks at the table laughed with him. “Can you believe that after all these years, we’re bonding over Ransom’s little girlfriend?” 

You weren’t even sure how to react, so you laughed awkwardly along with them, and stared blankly at the vast expanse of grape trees behind the row of Thrombey and their friends. What you would give to sprint out into that, and never come back. 

Ransom looked to you in your obvious discomfort, and grabbed your knee, offering it a little reassuring squeeze before he interrupted them. 

“You know what? All of you dickheads can eat shit. Y/N is really the only person who matters to me at this point, and you pricks need to respect that. Hell, you need to respect her.” 

“Look at little Ranny, getting all soft,” Walt chided. 

He ignored the comment and continued on, “And If I don’t start hearing apologies soon, every single one of your wedding invites have a one way ticket to the shredder.”

A silence fell over the table. You were a bit surprised too, since your invites had already gone out, and Harlan was the only Thrombey to receive one.

“...You’re getting married?” Meg asked, breaking the silence. “Why wouldn’t you tell us?” 

“Why do you think?” you muttered, pushing around a few things on your plate before standing up, and pushing your chair away. “Excuse me.”

You knew that by leaving, you were only opening yourself up for more criticism, but you genuinely weren’t sure that you’d be able to take one more second of hostility. You pushed your chair back in, before heading off the patio, into the gigantic home, and up to the room that you’d claimed.

You rolled on top of the bed, and screamed into a feather filled pillow. It wasn’t too long after when tears stung your eyes as you came to the conclusion that these monsters were just a few months away from becoming your in-laws.

You thought you’d heard the most of it after the table, yet a prompt knocking at your door proved otherwise. Letting herself in, you turned to face Ransom’s mother herself, and you just knew that you were in for it.

“Listen, you whore,” Linda began in a sharp, yet quiet tone, “I don’t know what you’re trying to do with my son. Isolate him from us. Try to ‘change him’ like I know you think you’re doing. But just know that at the end of the day, he’ll always pick us. You’ll always be the second choice, especially when Ransom realizes that you barely have a dime to your name, and his bank account starts to runs dry,” she approached you, and pointed an accusatory finger towards you. “You’ll never be anything but a disgusting, sloppy little gold digger. You may be his toy of the week, but at the end of the day, you’re just an afterthought. I suggest that you get out of his life sooner than later. I’m sure Ransom wouldn’t mind, considering we already have your replacement with one foot in the door,” she gestured over to the window facing the back patio, where Ransom was chatting with a brunette woman that appeared to be quite a few years younger than himself.

“You’re cute, Y/N. Really! It’s cute that you’re thinking right now that he would never leave you, cheat on you with some new, younger, hotter piece of ass. Just know that you don’t know Ransom as well as you really think you do. I can promise you, it’ll be much easier to break off an engagement than it’ll be to get a divorce. Especially with that prenup he’s considering dropping on your desk any day.” she tutted as if she cared. “Well, sweetheart, it was great meeting you. I’m glad that these were our first and last words together,” she gave your back a pat before leaving the room, and you looked out the window in shock. 

Shaking as you dig into the pocket of your sundress, you sent Ransom a simple ‘help’ message, before setting your phone aside and trying to pack your belongings in as quick of a manner as possible.

When Ransom opened the door, a steady stream of tears and mascara was staining your face, while you urgently threw things into your suitcase.

“Goose, what happened?” he gasped, hurrying over to your kneeling form, and setting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Why,” you sniffled. “Why would you let her come up here and say all that shit to me!” you croaked, swatting his hand away from you. 

“What?” he watched as you pressed down on the overfilled suitcase and frantically attempted to zip it, to no avail. “Linda said she was gonna come apologize?”

“Telling me that I’ll never be enough for you is just a perfect apology,” you muttered, “I need to go home.”

“God,” he grumbled to himself, “This is exactly why I waited so long for them to meet you. Okay, we can go home then. I’ll buy us tickets right now.”

“This is on you too, Ransom. You didn’t tell them about us, like, at all. You had so much time! You couldn’t give Linda a call and say ‘hey I’ve been seeing this girl’ or even tell Harlan to deliver the message for you?” you hiccuped, but continued. “All of this could’ve been avoided if they had four years to adjust to our relationship. Maybe then they wouldn’t call me a whore and a gold digger every other sentence.”

“I was just trying to protect you from them,” he frowned.

You finally managed to zip up the suitcase, and stood up along with it, “well, you clearly did a great job of that.” 

You dusted off the skirt of your dress, and grabbed your phone. “I’ll let you know when our car gets here,” you huffed before walking into the en-suite and closing the door behind you, just to have a moment for yourself (and make yourself look a bit more put together before you leave.)

A tense car ride, and awkward flight later, you marched straight into the guest bedroom, and cocooned yourself under a copious amount of blankets. You felt like you stayed there for years, only getting out of bed to shower and use the restroom, and living off of the crustless sandwiches and jarred spaghetti your fiancé brought to your door. 

You slept most of the time, and in the moments you weren’t sleeping, you were dwelling on every vicious word thrown at you at the vineyard. Every day, you listened to Ransom apologize through the door, yet every day, you questioned if going through with the wedding was truly the wisest idea. 

A few days into your stay in the guest bedroom, you finally allowed Ransom to stay in the room for more than just dropping off food. He sat down next to you in bed, and cupped your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb softly back and forth against the skin. 

“I don’t know how I can make things right for you,” he said softly. “I really did set you up, and I didn’t even mean to. I should’ve made better decisions, but I can’t change four years ago. But I can keep those heinous people away from you. They’ll never have the chance to do, or say anything like that to you again, okay?” his thumb caught on a tear, which he promptly wiped away. “Just… please don’t leave me. The bed feels too empty without you, and it’s just been a few days. I can’t imagine feeling that emptiness for the rest of my life.”

You whimpered and sat up, abruptly embracing the broad man. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let your idiot family make me question the validity of our relationship,” you muttered into his shirt. 

“I promise you you’ll never have to worry about them again. They had their opportunity to make things right, and they missed it.”

-----

Things were more or less smooth sailing after that fiasco. You found your perfect venue, decided on your ideal Honeymoon spot, and finished your seating arrangements with time to spare, and the next thing you knew your wedding day was around the corner. 

It all seemed to happen so fast, one second you were being walked down the aisle, the next, exchanging vows and rings as aisles of your friends and family members cheered for you, Y/N Drysdale.

Your reception also seemed to slip right through your fingers, your first dance, toasts and cake cutting finding itself over almost as soon as it started. You were grateful that you hired a wedding videographer, as the day was so overwhelming, you weren’t quite sure how much of it you’d remember. 

As you drove off to the airport, Ransom set his hand upon your knee one more time. A warm, fuzzy feeling formed in your chest at the all too familiar gesture. You turned your head from the window to your husband, who was grinning back at you, and couldn’t help but to think of how perfect your wedding ended up, though it felt like it sped by quickly. More than anything, you were grateful that you didn’t give up on Ransom despite his interesting family. 

[davidfosterwallace2ndgromit]

How To Incorporate Network Marketing Into Your Real-Estate Business

I have numerous friends that are realtors which are considering incorporating network marketing in their real-estate business. Could it be done? I'd say,"yes", but make sure you understand what to search for when you opt to incorporate network marketing in your real-estate business to guarantee your success. 

Both of these industries are both aggressive and will push you six feet under in the event you do not know how to advertise or merge the two and make them work as one. As a realtor, your work is busy , but as busy as you are, it is still wise to construct a residual asset that could survive any recession in any particular market and that is where the network marketing business can lay a foundation. 

Now, in order to get a realtor to succeed with integrating network marketing into their real-estate business, you need to be prepared for a change in mindset about the business, as a whole. What I mean by this mindset shift is, do not see the two as competing businesses, meaning, you believe that you can not do both, since they're opposite business systems. 

1 big commonality in both is that real-estate and network marketing are people business, where most realtors have to be in order to succeed. Thus, it's the ideal flow. One other important point is to get rid of the mindset that these companies are pyramid schemes or only the folks at the top make all the money. 

Nowadays, the majority of the businesses are part of the BBB and are upstanding. But this is not to say not to do your research on a Business Therefore, if you're considering expanding your real-estate business inside the network marketing business, the way to succeed with merging the two would be to partner up with a company that has services or products that could work to your real-estate business. 

If a network marketing company only sells nutritional products, then you may want to rethink joining that firm unless you are moving towards a change in your career or you want to sell your prospects nutritional supplements. That would possibly take you too far from your game plan. But if a network marketing company provides any kind of financial services or products, something which may help your prospects attain financial security by working together with you as their realtor, then, that would be a better union. 

There are systems, as a realtor, where you are able to capitalize from the sale of other realtors in other states you do not even understand - all through the power of network marketing. Now, that is just beginning. Imagine generating this extra flow of income from a physician's office, though you had nothing to do with this physician or the sponsoring of them. 

Meanwhile you are still working your real-estate business. What's kind of interesting in all this is that there are a number of real-estate companies which are integrating network marketing fundamentals in their own structure. It's being regarded as a much better business model, entirely. 

Overall, it could definitely add a peace of mind to life and no matter how you slice it, you can not ignore the uncertainty in our market nowadays, a lot of individuals are looking for alternate way of generating income. What once was is no more the what's. My suggestion is keep your options open never turn down looking at a chance to create a residual advantage if it can fit in with what you are already doing. 

Setting Up Your Small Real Estate Business for Success

It's said that 80 percent of all small businesses fail within their first five decades. There are numerous reasons for this, which range from individuals simply being lazy to people not knowing what to do in order to prepare a business for success. 

Oftentimes, new business owners believe they can start the business and, with a few customers, profits will flow in; they don't understand that it takes far more than a few good clients and some snazzy business cards to make a good base for a new business. 

Although this report concentrates on a real estate investing business, the tips may be utilised in almost any line of work. Before starting any LLCs or corporations, the principal individual should sit down and compose a concrete business plan, including financial objectives and timelines for his new endeavor. Without targets, nothing will flourish. 

Alan Lakein, the famous time management icon, said:"Failing to plan is planning to fail" This is true in more than a business strategy, too. The lesson can be taken into any new investment. In the realm of real estate, it's extremely easy to walk to a bargain with no idea how you will escape it. 

You have already set your own money into buying the property, and probably to fix or enhance it. But what do you do if the property sits for weeks and months with a"For Sale" sign in the front lawn, but nobody expresses interest in purchasing it? You're out the money you've put into it, and you have to maintain and continue to hold with gains. 

This is a sinkhole that may be prevented if you have some defined goals before stepping into possession. Bright investors will have programs A, B, and C for each and every deal they approach, so they have an exit strategy in any particular situation. 

Another important part of making a firm base for the business is to operate - at least at the beginning - on a shoestring budget. Because most new business owners are paying out of pocket at the beginning, it's intelligent to keep the overhead to a minimum. A good guideline is that if what you're trying to buy won't instantly put money in your pocket, save time, and/or replace what you have that doesn't or isn't working, do not get it! 

A brand new business doesn't want the latest in handheld computers or furniture to function profitably. The Rich Dad Education group released a terrific board game many years back, called Cashflow. In this game, players operate around a wheel of paychecks, unexpected costs, and little investment opportunities until they can escape the Rat Race and on larger investment opportunities, where they become financially independent with passive income. 

Among the most frustrating squares to property on whilst at the Rat Race is known as a Doo-Dad square. When a player lands here they need to pick up a Doo-Dad card and pay whatever it tells them to. Doo-Dads vary from coffee with friends to a $17,000 ship, and you never know what you may get. 

When setting up your new office or purchasing pretty accessories, consider if you really want that thing or if it's only another Doo-Dad you might regret. A beginning real estate investor needs just a few items to get started: a phone and voicemail, a practical computer, fundamental computing applications (like Microsoft Office), the Internet, and a printer in the minimum, though I would advise that a printer/copier/scanner combination unit. 

Most other things in the opening of your business are Doo-Dads. Being organized is imperative to a successful business. Fighting to find important paperwork, contacts, references, and other files or resources may cause anything from losing a bargain to going under. 1 way to avoid wasting time and energy and keep organization is to make certain you're not reinventing the wheel. 

Technology is huge in the present world; even if you're uncomfortable using or understanding it, the simple fact is it is critical for a time-efficient business model, and worth your while to learn about it. In real estate, there are thousands of technological tools which may make and investor's life easier and easy to arrange. 

Automated calling services exist in which you can record a brief message and the application will call 1,000 possible buyers/sellers. There are virtual assistants working hard and well (in a very affordable rate) performing your busywork, like creating spreadsheets, making flyers, organizing paperwork and documents, prioritizing mails, and paying invoices. 

Microsoft Publisher has dozens of templates you can customize to your precise specifications. Documents are easy to make and type in Microsoft Word, so you just have to open and print them off. In Microsoft Excel, it's never been easier to create spreadsheets involving complicated formulas, charts, and diagrams that you are able to save and search for afterwards. 

There are a lot of ways to incorporate technology in your business that it would be absurd to abide by old-fashioned techniques that require more time and energy away from what matters. 

[arielufret]

Favorite Albums- from START to FINISH

I feel like we all have a handful of go-to albums that we can listen to without skipping a single song.  Not because we are lazy, but because we genuinely enjoy every track.  Albums to me are special because they (should) tell some sort of story.  I am going to list the ones that are on my go-to list.  Would love to hear what yours are!

No particular order! (I am going to try to remember to link to each of the albums via Spotify, too, so feel free to give these a spin for yourselves!) 

Switchfoot - ‘Hello Hurricane’  This one is special to me because even before hearing the first single, I got to hear the band play this album from start to finish live.  Its symbolism is impressive and creative, as its meant to represent an actual HURRICANE. The way the songs build and flow, it sounds like a storm rolling in... you can tell when you have made it to the eye of the hurricane and when the storm starts to subside.  If you haven’t given this one a listen, I suggest it.  Start at 1... no shuffle.  Go all the way to the end.  Then give me a buzz and tell me you don’t love it.  You won’t be able to. :)

Mumford & Sons - ‘Sigh No More’ This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me... even if you just kind of know me.  This band can really do no wrong in my book, but ‘Sigh No More’ is a perfect album from start to finish for me.  The world would not be the same for me, personally, without each and every one of these songs.  I can’t say that for many other albums, if any.  It’s special and exciting when you discover an album that has that kind of impact on you. 

Jessie Baylin - ‘Firesight’ & ‘Little Spark’ I have Matt Nathanson to thank for introducing me to the absolute gem that is Jessie Baylin.  I love women singer songwriters and she is at the top of my list.  ‘Firesight’ is a bit more “pop”, but I use that term quite loosely.  I also do not think there is a single thing wrong with the term.  You will see that later in my list when I go FULL ON BUBBLEGUM.  The follow up (which I waited on with baited breath) was equally special and different, but in a way in which you can still listen to both albums shuffled together and its cohesive. Do yourself a favor.  Listen to these two albums.

Matt Nathanson - ‘Beneath These Fireworks’, ‘Some Mad Hope’, ‘Modern Love’, ‘Last of the Great Pretenders’, ‘Show Me  Your Fangs’ As you can see from the list here, this man can do no wrong in my book.  Not only did he introduce me to Jessie Baylin by bringing her out to open on a tour of his many years ago, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t one of my all time favorite songwriters/story tellers.  A live show from Matt is equal parts music and comedy show, and he does both parts with uncanny ability.  Over the last decade+, Matt Nathanson has provided me with endless hours of listening.  Some songs have pulled me out of myself for long enough that I can see things the way they should be instead of staying inside my own head and self destructing.  If that isn’t talent, then I don’t know what is.  Honorable mention: Live album, ‘At the Point (Live)’.

Tom Petty - ‘Full Moon Fever’ Here we have my first favorite album of all time.  It will always be special to me, as long as I have ears to listen to music or a memory of how special music is to me.  I was a whopping four years old when this album was released.  I stole it-- like legit STOLE it-- from my dad.  I still have it in my possession today.  He never got it back.  From the moment I heard it, it was like something inside me clicked ‘on’ and it never turned ‘off’.  For that, I will forever be indebted to the one and only, Tom Petty (& the Heartbreakers, of course).

Billy Joel - ‘Storm Front’ Again, this one is sentimental to me because it happened when I was just really discovering music and picking out  my own favorites.  My parents were in one of those ridiculous “CD clubs” where they would send you those sheets of stamps that you would go through and pick the 10 albums or whatever the number was that you wanted and they supposedly would charge you a penny or some ridiculous nonsense.  I was 4, so I didn’t understand what a pyramid scheme was, but I am sure there is someone out there searching for my parents to pay off their cd club debts to society.  Now that we have the back story-- there was a day my parents were look through their little CD cover stamps and I begged to have them let me pick a few for myself.  I was a spoiled brat, so of course they obliged.  My first choice was Billy Joel’s ‘Storm Front’.  Because of my obession with “We Didn’t Start the Fire”.  I wore that album OUT.  It also left me with a skill that not many others have (I have asked and literally no one I have met can beat me at this).... I can sing every. single. word to “We Didn’t Start the Fire”.  I am still holding my breath for an update from the 90′s to present.  Get on that, Bill.  I know you’ve got it in you!

Taylor Swift - ‘Red’ and ‘1989′ When you think perfect pop music, if you don’t think Taylor Swift, then I am not sure what you are looking for you in your pop music.  Love her or hate her (I know what I would say to the haters-- ‘Why you gotta be so mean’) you have to admit her songwriting talent is there.  And it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, as she seemingly is getting better and better with age and experiences.  ‘Red’ was still when Taylor was in the country world but toeing into the wavy waters of full fledged POP.  They are both in my ‘driving albums’ rotation.  Perfect singalong at the top of your lungs material, especially if you are in a post break up, girl power mode (who isn’t always in that mode, though?)

One Direction - ‘Midnight Memories’, ‘FOUR’, ‘Made in the A.M.’ While I am on straight up POP, I have to discuss One Direction.  I grew up the the world of the boyband.  I was certain after the early 2000′s this fad would go away to return maybe never but certainly not with a group put together by Simon Cowell on a British competition show.  But... alas... HERE THEY WERE, right in front of my eyes.  Each of the 5 members of the band auditioned as solo artists.  They did not make it, but the genius of Simon Cowell said ‘Wait just a bloody minute!!!’, at least thats how I imagine it going down backstage.  And he pulled the 5 adorable youngsters together and said “SING AND DANCE AND MAKE THE WORLD LOVE YOU” and then they did just that.  They did not win the X Factor but considering they are one of the top earning groups of all time and no one knows who came in first that season, I would say they fucking WON.  In the process, they won my (much to old for this) heart and I have not been the same since.  Luckily, I have friends my age who think the same thing, and they are all of age now, so I don’t have to feel creepy.  Also, one of them knocked up one of the judges on the X Factor and she is older than me.  So, I suppose its all in good fun.  If you are ever in the mood for perfect pop, look up a One Direction album.  NO SHAME!  I promise. 

Taking Back Sunday - ‘Tell All Your Friends’ Now, for the emo section.  This album is high school for me.  Senior year.  It also reminds me of ex boyfriends from hell, which is not usually a welcome thing, but isn’t that what emo music is for?  Open up all of the wounds you thought you’ve licked clean and healed just to remind you what it means to FEEL something. Anything.  These songs aren’t all F YOU anthems to ghosts of girlfriends/boyfriends past, though.  Some are genuinely fun, at least for me.

Brand New - ‘Your Favorite Weapon’ In another emo nod to high school memories, we have Brand New.  Now, this band has beef with Taking Back Sunday and you can actually tell in their lyrics if you pay close attention.  See if you can find it!  Its fun!

Fall Out Boy - ‘Take This to Your Grave’, ‘From Under the Cork Tree’, ‘Infinity on High’, ‘Save Rock and Roll’ Here is another band that I have literally ZERO shame in admitting my love for.  Emo? Whatever. Who cares?  They have badass, long song titles that make nearly no sense with the song’s theme and it makes me love them even more.  Plus, just google for some leaked photos of Pete Wentz and then you can have that visual to go along with the tracks and think happy thoughts.  Dirty.  I know.  I am sorry.  Its late and I am not sleeping until I finish this list. Panic! at the Disco - ‘A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out’, Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die’ Another band with a flare for a killer, long, sometimes ridiculous song title.  The first album from this band is ALL sophomore year of college for me.  Just as wonderful and confusing as those days were, this album is all of that and more.  Their 2013 release is just as special to me, and the songs are just so good.  I don’t care what your preconceived ideas are on this band.... give these songs a whirl.  Their other albums are great too, but I do tend to skip a song or two when playing the album from start to finish, so rules being rules... I had to keep them from the list.  But some of those songs will land on a list of of some of my favorite songs.  So keep that in mind and give the full catalog a spin around the block for good measure.  Brendon Urie, while we don’t have access to cell phone photos of what is under his clothes, we do have the video for a song called “Girls/Girls/Boys” which is almost (maybe more?) satisfying in a nod to the D’Angelo video for “Untitled (How Does it Feel?)”.  YOU’RE WELCOME.

Howie Day - ‘Australia’, ‘The Madrigals EP’, ‘Stop All The World Now’, 'Live From.... EP’  As far as singer-songwriters go, Howie Day can basically do no wrong in my book.  I stumbled upon Howie in the beginning of my desire to learn everything I could about John Mayer circa 2001.  Thanks to that, I found one of my favorite artists of all time with Howie (he opened for John on some key dates in the earlier days of his career).  His debut, ‘Australia’ still gets regular play from me, as to his other albums. Howie had some radio success and VH1 love for a couple of singles, so you may recognize the tracks “She Says” and “Ghost”.  Now, my love for Howie isn’t just his boyish charm and great songwriting.  Its also that mother F’ing looping pedal.  The first time I saw him live, so many years ago.... I about had a heart attack.  I had never seen anything like it.  He was a one man music machine and I couldn’t get enough.  Now, if anyone performs with a looping pedal, I automatically compare them to Howie and they rarely stack up to his skills.  But I still fall for a man with looping pedal skills & an acoustic guitar, it never fails.   

John Mayer - ‘Inside Wants Out EP’, ‘Room For Squares’, ‘Any Given Thursday’, ‘Heavier Things’ Oh John Mayer.  Where do I even start?  Discovered just shortly before the blockbuster release of ‘Room For Squares’.  He gave me one of the greatest moments of my teenage life when I won upgraded tickets (front row) and meet & greet to his first big headlining tour. THANKS FAN CLUB!  That was also the beginning of the end for me and live music... spoiled rotten.  There are not many songwriters alive today that I can say I believe have more raw, indisputable talent than that of this human being.  Don’t even get me started on his guitar skills.  If you haven’t already spent some time with his catalog, I suggest starting from the beginning with these 4 suggestions. 

Not ALL of them made the list, but as artists before on this list it doesn’t mean that those unmentioned albums aren’t nearly perfect.  So give those a listen to, if you like what you hear from these suggestions.  They just might be YOUR perfect album.  Who knows!?

okay.... I am not done.  So stay tuned for more.  I will just be editing this post, not making a new one.