#but finally FINALLY i start watching it from the ninth doctor

[tardxsblues]

yeah, heartbreak sucks, but have you ever had a tv show you were watching get taken off a streaming platform while you were in the middle of the series?

[theangelwithawand]

Because of Good Omens brain rot, I’ve been doing a Ninth/Tenth Doctor rewatch. And I was reminded of something I started to notice when I did my first ever rewatch.

The jokey attitude Rose has in the face of danger is a trait she shares with the Doctor, but it’s not something she picks up from him.

In Aliens of London/ World War III, Harriet chides her for making jokingly says something to the effect of how the Slitheen’s compression field works as a kind of weight loss program. This is the first time it’s ever been called out, but it’s not actually the first time she’s done it.

In the first episode, while the Doctor is explaining the living plastic she makes a wry comment about all of the breast implants coming to life. She’s only known the Doctor for a few hours at this point. It goes completely unremarked on, but it’s there.

She does it in the Empty Child when Jack catches her in his transmat beam. Her voice is literally shaking in this one, both from physical exertion and terror.

The thing is, I think it’s a coping mechanism. I think Rose has learned to bury her fear behind snarky remarks and jokes, one she probably picked up to deal with her life on the estates, to deal with being belittled, to deal with her abusive ex.

The first time I really came to this conclusion was while watching Tooth and Claw for the second time.

During the episode, Ten and Rose have this little bet running to see if she can get Queen Victoria to say her “we are not amused” line. Every time Rose does it, she is giggling.

Until she says it after the werewolf (this is a really strange episode even for DW…) attacks.

After taking a second to be relieved at being alive, her face kind of drops, her eyes widen and glaze over a little bit. The line “I bet you’re not amused” is rushed out of her mouth and significantly quieter than she was a minute ago. The delivery is uncharacteristically monotone until the little emphasis she puts on the end.

She does this weird almost-smile like she’s going to laugh even though she is patently not smiling. She does this small little head shake, her arms are tense.

It’s a really unsettling moment, and it was this performance by Billie Piper is what made me start thinking about this.

Queen Victoria yells at her, and Rose immediately apologizes, won’t even make eye contact with anyone. She curls in and turns away a bit.

This moment always bothered me and it took me a few watches to really articulate why.

Rose is scared.

I didn’t see it immediately because Rose displays fear in so many ways.

When she fears someone she cares about is going to leave her, (usually it’s the Doctor), Rose will lash out. This happens in Father’s Day, School Reunion, and Girl in the Fireplace. (The last one is so justified. She’s way more compassionate than I would’ve been at the end of that episode). She also does this Fear Her (when Nina Sosanya’s character continually refuses to watch her possessed daughter)

Other times, she’s able to turn her fear into action. She does this in her very first episode, the series 1 finale, the Cyberman two-parter, the Satan Pit two-parter, and earlier in Tooth and Claw.

Sometimes, she runs. In Christmas Invasion, she is facing a world-ending threat without the Doctor for the first time. She can’t do the heart of the Tardis trick again without ripping a hole in the universe.

Many times she’ll turn to the Doctor or her mother (who does her best but doesn’t always say the right thing)

But sometimes she makes a snarky comment or tells a joke to convince herself and maybe others that it will be okay.

She uses jokes for this specific reason to cheer up the Doctor in the Satan Pit.

Because Rose is compassionate. To Raffalo, to Gwenyth, to the Empty Child, to Jack. To Cassandra and Flora and Elton. She even tries to comfort Reinette, who is condescending towards her and who the Doctor repeatedly abandons her for because she regrets antagonizing Sarah Jane last episode. (I mean Sarah Jane was kind of mean too despite being a grown woman and Rose only being in her early twenties).

It’s the final confirmation the Doctor needs to realize she’s possessed on New Earth.

She will allow the Doctor to sacrifice her without question to save people and shows compassion to a Dalek both before she knows what it is and after it proves to be capable of changing.

She will drop everything for her mother despite whatever disagreements they have, will bend the universe to keep her father from dying alone.

She will literally sacrifice herself and stare into raw time to save the Doctor.

A lot of people think that Rose’s character in s2 is not as interesting. While that’s true, I think it’s more to do with the lack of interactions between her and Ten that aren’t about their romance. Nine and Rose have interactions that challenge each other’s morality. (Dalek, End of the World, Fathers Day, Unquiet Dead). On the rare occasions that Ten and Rose clash, it’s over jealousy brought on by Rose’s fear of being forgotten and Ten’s fear of committing, or feels like it’s in the shadow of his behavior with Reinette. Ironically, it’s their debate in Fear Her (a not great episode) that is one of the more interesting exchange of views that they have.

I wouldn’t completely agree that Rose loses her compassion in the second season. I think some of her more toxic pre-existing traits are just brought to the surface. And her protectiveness does become selfish.

But series 2 dumps a lot on Rose’s shoulders.

Ten’s weird hot and cold demeanor is probably emotionally taxing too. She has a lot of inferiority issues, probably because of how she’s been treated by her mother and others in her life. She frequently reiterates that she doesn’t matter. You can see how much it means to her when Nine earnestly admits she saved his life in response to her nervous teasing and posturing. And you can see how crushed she is when he calls her stupid in a moment of anger in Father’s day. (An event that is partially his fault because he didn’t explain the rules to Rose until afterwards) He immediately apologizes. (He does have that weird flirtation with Lynda but that is dropped just as abruptly as it starts).

The Tenth Doctor has this deeply frustrating set of episodes in series two where he is utterly awful to watch, and it’s after this that the relationship becomes the shallow, unhealthy, codependent one people remember. (I will expand on this in another post)

But it’s not even necessarily because of the Doctor that it’s hard for her. She says in Parting of the Ways that it wasn’t even the adventures she loved, it was him showing her a better way of life.

The adventures, the death, those are what wear her down the same way they wear down Ten.

She is, at one point, told by literal Satan that she is going to die imminently.

No matter how cheerful an episode begins, the loss always brings something melancholic out of Rose, but also someone desperate to hold onto the person she loves and carve out some sort of hope for a future. Impossible Planet does this really well with the little exchange about getting a mortgage. You can tell both of them find the idea appealing, or would if the Tardis was on call for the occasional weekend trip and weekly visit to Jackie. Because Ten likes Jackie, likes having a family.

Because deep down what these two want is each other and to rest. Not stop, they never could do that entirely. That’s why, I think TenToo works well in Empire of the Wolf (I don’t think it’s handled well in the actual show). Because they are still having new adventures with their daughter, just smaller ones.

So while Rose does have her flaws (selfishness, jealousy, a coping mechanism that is not always in the best taste). But she’s 19, she’s human. She’s allowed to and -as a character in a piece of media- should have flaws. I think they are what make a fundamentally brave and compassionate character feel like a real person. They make her more compelling.

(I want to do a later meta on Mickey, because Rose could’ve handled that better, but I also have issues with early Mickey. And it ties into some other stuff…so later meta.)

[quietwings-fics]

New Discoveries, in Good Hands

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: N/A Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler Additional Tags: Trans Rose Tyler, Facial Shaving, Minor Ninth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler, Touchy-Feely, Intimacy, Innuendo, Season/Series 01, Flirting, Denial, Trans Male Character, Fluff Wordcount: 3084 Summary:

Jack shows Rose what shaving is like. Rose enjoys more of it than she thought she would. (Or, Rose's first steps towards self-discovery.)

Rose is always surprised by how barren Jack’s room seems compared to her own. She tells herself it’s just a matter of time spent onboard the TARDIS, but she still pauses to frown at all the empty space. Even his bed is neatly made where her own remains in a constant state of disarray. The only reminders that he’s still living here at all are a spare t-shirt thrown over a chair and the sound of running water from the adjoining bathroom.

She makes her way over to him. She doesn’t knock, and didn’t when she entered in the first place, but she does call his name when she pokes her head in. “Jack?”

He turns back to acknowledge her, smiling beneath the beneath foamy wisps left of his shaving cream, though Rose is more distracted by his lack of a shirt and the dark hair spread down his chest that he hasn’t shaved. He leans against the sink, still dripping from where he’s been splashing himself clean, a straight razor held in place beneath his palm. “The Doctor sent you to fetch me?” he asks. Rose forces her eyes back up to his face, which Jack notices. It only makes his grin wilder as he angles himself to give her a better view. At that, Rose has to look away entirely, torn between laughing at his familiar confidence and flushing hot from head to toe. 

“Something like that. You were running late. He notices.” Sometimes it feels like the Doctor has Rose’s morning routine better memorized than she does. He might fail to pick up on when she’s upset if it’s right in front of his face, but never if it makes her miss her usual breakfast. There’s a subtle pull at Jack’s mouth when she’s done speaking, a brief pinch around his eyes, gone by the time he’s turning to the sink to finish shaving. 

“I had… a long night. Slept through my alarm. I’m almost done here.” The pause makes Rose want to push him for more, and she would if she knew where to start. It’s only a matter of time. No matter how good he is at hiding his secrets, he can’t stop himself from inviting them in to look for them. He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t want Rose and the Doctor to know eventually, but whenever that might be isn’t today, so Rose is left searching for something else to say.

“He also said to ask what your opinion on sea monsters is,” she falls back on. Despite avoiding the earlier subject, nothing about Jack comes off as defensive. He hums a simple note as he washes shaving cream off the razor and asks,

“With or without tentacles?” Rose blinks. 

“Is that important?” she asks.

“Incredibly,” he answers. She watches the slow, practiced glide of the razor against the side of his chin, catching a few final hairs. He tilts his head slightly to get the angle right, showing off the curve of his neck to her. When Rose meets his eyes again through the bathroom mirror as he relaxes, he says, “Enjoying the show?”

“You like having an audience.” Jack leans down to cup his hands in the stream of water and splash his face. The razor rests at his side, the edge still foamy with cream and short, dark hairs. He pats himself dry with a towel, drops it against the sink, and then reaches out a hand towards her. Rose takes it without hesitation, stepping closer. Jack brings it up to the side of his face, resting her fingers against freshly shaven skin to feel the difference. Rose trails them down along his jaw and up again until she can cup his cheek in her palm. Jack’s eyes shut as he leans into her hand, relaxed and happy. In a week, maybe less, she knows she’ll be able to feel the rough beginnings of new stubble on his face. Something twinges in her chest as she thinks about watching that happen while she stays exactly the same. She frowns, not sure why that would even bother her.

She lets the expression fall away before Jack’s eyes open again. “Do I have to tell you you’re gorgeous? You seem to know already,” she teases. Jack nudges against her hand again playfully before she withdraws it.

“Never hurts,” he says. “Especially now that you’ve seen all the work I put in to stay that way. Unlike our Doctor.” Rose’s heart flutters with the ease with which Jack says ‘our’. “Do we even know if he ever shaves, or do you think he tells his chin hairs off sternly and they fall out in shame?”

“Sonics them away, I reckon,” Rose says, nodding as she lets her hand drop. The motion brings her gaze down to Jack’s chest again, and the speed at which she snaps her eyes back up to his makes her peeking even more obvious that last time. She can just feel Jack about to tease her about it, so she says the first thing that comes to mind to cut him off. “What does it feel like, anyway?” 

“What?” he says, and she can hear the barely restrained flirtation just behind the words, held back to answer her question. “Shaving?” 

“Yeah.”

“You’ve never shaved anything before?” He sounds skeptical. 

“Of course I’ve- That’s different!” Funnily enough, she can’t remember the last time she bothered to, either. No one around to remind her, she supposes. No wonder her legs have felt warmer under her skirts. She resolves to wear something long the next time she visits her mom. If she can’t see anything, she can’t say anything, and Rose can carry on exactly as she is. “I didn’t use shaving cream for my legs.”

“You should,” he says, casually. “You might need more to cover it, but it makes the whole process a lot faster. Less nicks, much more smooth, really prepares you for showing off in fishnets.” Before Rose has a minute to put together the pieces on him knowing all of that, Jack is reaching for his can of shaving cream. “Hold out your hand.”

When Rose does, he gives the can a light shake and spurts some cream onto her hand. The white foam spills messily across her palm from the nozzle. 

“Don’t-” she starts.

“There’s more where that came from,” Jack says, suggestive, completely ignoring her. Rose rolls her eyes. She squishes her fingers through the foam. “Well? How does it feel?” 

“Cold,” she answers. “Soft? A little like lotion.”  The consistency is the same, at least. It feels nice against her skin. Jack’s watching her, thinking. 

She’s still playing with the cream when she hears the water run again. Jack’s wetting the same towel he used to dry his face earlier. He turns back to her, fingers nudging her chin up. “Hold still,” he says. “I don’t want to get your shirt wet.” He dab at the lower half of her face with the warm washcloth. “Not that I’d complain, but I make a habit of only ruining other people’s clothes when they ask for it.” He motions her around with little taps against her jaw, and she follows, making it easier for him to dampen her skin with the hot water. “Which you still could. I’m not giving up hope yet.” He takes her hand in his own, palm up, and scrubs the shaving cream off of it for her before he puts the towel down.

“What are you doing?” Rose asks, though it’s obvious. She thinks she just wants him to say it for her, confirm this isn’t some kind of joke. 

(But even if she didn’t know, she’d still let him. She’s in safe hands with Jack. Very few people have ever made her feel that way.)

“You said you wanted to know what it was like.” He picks up the shaving cream can again. She sees him weigh it in his hand like he’s trying to estimate how much is inside before he shakes it again. He pauses just long enough for her to step out of reach if she wanted to, and when she doesn’t, he puts his hand beneath her chin again. It’s more sure now. He guides her with his thumb solid against her jaw, turning her head slowly to make sure he covers her face with the cream. It tickles more than it did on her hand, and Rose bites her lip to keep from giggling.

“I don’t have anything to shave,” Rose protests, a little late. Her chin and cheeks feel chilled by the shaving cream, but not unpleasantly. There are streaks of it on Jack’s hand as he draws back again. 

“I’m using my imagination,” Jack tells her. He washes his razor off for her, turning it this way and that beneath the sink before examining it to make sure nothing is sticking behind from its last use. It looks well-sharpened, but even when Jack rests it against her cheek for the first time, Rose can’t feel scared. There’s far too much focus in his eyes, even more so than when he was shaving his own face earlier. Very slowly, he scrapes a little of the shaving cream off her cheek. The razor slides against her skin, warm from the water it was under, contrasting against the cream and leaving the space behind it exposed again. “Breathe, Rose,” Jack tells her. She inhales, not realizing she’d stopped until he points it out. 

The next glide of the razor moves in time with her exhale as she holds as still as she can for him. His other hand has found its place beneath his chin again, keeping her steady. When all she can do is memorize the feeling of him touching her, she notices the little differences between him and the Doctor, that the Doctor’s fingers are slightly longer, that Jack’s thumb has more of a callous along the inside of it. The razor moves easily through the shaving cream, and she can see Jack begin to relax the longer it goes without incident, as though he needs more reassurance than she does that he won’t mess up and nick her.

“Smoothest shave I’ve ever given anyone,” he jokes, but his voice is low and warm. Rose swallows. 

Did he mean before that he was imagining her with… with what? Surely not a full beard, not unless he wanted to laugh at her… right? No. Maybe- Well, maybe he wasn’t imagining anything at all, from how concentrated he was.

Or maybe he was seeing her in his mind’s eye with a lazy week’s stubble, gently shaving it off for her. Did he imagine how it felt beneath his hands before when he was preparing her? Was he imagining it now as he rubbed his thumb along the bottom of her jaw? Would he like that, a little scratch of growing hair that she was letting him take care of? Rose’s could hear her own breaths from between her parted lips catching with the thought of all of it. 

Would she like that?

“You alright, Rose?” Jack’s voice pulls her out of her own thoughts before she can scare herself. Scare herself? Is she scared? Her heart is beating faster, but she can’t tell if it’s fear or something else. 

“Fine,” she answers, lying poorly. Jack pauses, and she feels his thumb rub against her jaw again. She focuses on that. 

Safe in Jack’s hands, wherever he’s taking her. 

“I’m okay,” she says, and this time, it’s true. Jack still waits for her to pout and say, “Get back to work, Jack.”

“Yes, sir,” Jack says, a professional snap to the words like a verbal salute that makes Rose bite her lip again. The razor comes back, continuing its journey across her face and smoothing away the shaving cream. 

A few more drags in silence follow before a lopsided grin climbs onto Jack’s face.

“Found one.”

“One what?”

“One little brown hair,” Jack says. He flips the razor for her to see, and it really is the tiniest hair floating in the shaving cream on the blade. Rose stares at it. 

She feels strangely proud that it exists. Even stranger, a little sad that Jack’s shaved it off. 

It’ll grow back, she finds herself thinking.

“Blow on it,” he says. “Make a wish.”

“You’re thinking of eyelashes.” 

“I don’t think the wish will care that much which hair it came from.” She indulges him. She blows a few white drops of shaving cream back onto Jack’s chest. Without thinking, she reaches forward to wipe them off with her thumb. She freezes when she touches him, but it’s far too late to back out now. She brushes her thumb across each speck, following them down along his chest to the last one low against his ribs. Her fingers run over his chest hair as she does. It’s a fight both to make herself not react to that or to go back and explore a little more. Her cheeks are burning, and there isn’t nearly enough shaving cream left to hide it.

“You really didn’t need an excuse if you wanted to feel me up,” Jack says, and he sounds delighted. She almost pulls her hand back, but she stops herself. After all, he started it.

“Then I’m not going to bother with one.” With that, she resolutely slides her hand back up his chest. She feels it rise and fall slightly as he breathes, shift as he moves his arm again to continue shaving her. She curls her fingers to feel his hair move against them, the thick dark patch at the center spreading thinner across his chest. It’s soft. 

No wonder he doesn’t shave it. She’s jealous.

Jealous of what? It’s not like she can’t get her fill of him. Jack will happily let her. 

She tries to shake off the feeling and can’t quite. 

“Do you ever wish you were someone else?” He wipes some spare shaving cream off of her cheek. He’s almost done. Not that there will be much of a difference to show it, Rose thinks. She frowns. 

“In what way?” he asks. “Am I swapping places with someone, or am I turning into someone else?” She wonders how much his answer would change depending on which she chose, but in the end, she can’t pick both.

“The second one. I think.” Her frown deepens. “Sorry. I’m not sure what I’m asking. I’m confusing myself now.”

Jack takes her hand from his chest and lifts it to his mouth, absently kissing her knuckles before he answers. She’s not even sure he registered that he did it, too focused on the razor in his other hand and her question. 

“I like being me,” he says, honestly. “Wasn’t easy to get here, so I think I’ll keep it.” Rose withdraws her hand, touching the spot his lips brushed. “What about you?”

Rose feels the razor make its last pass over her face. Jack lifts it away. Not a single scratch on her. Not a spot of irritation where he wasn’t careful enough. Rose lifts her fingers to her cheek and finds the skin there as smooth as ever. 

“Yeah,” she answers, and she realizes she’s lying. “Who else would I even be?”

Jack passes over her face once more with the warm rag to get the last of the shaving cream off of her. He has to get another to dry her with. Rose enjoys the pampering.

“How about a Rose Tyler who’s been thoroughly kissed?” She turns her head up to let him. Jack’s arms wrap around her back. “Among other things,” he murmurs when he’s done.

“I’d like that.” Jack makes himself easy to get lost in, and right now, Rose wants that. It’s easier than… She’s not sure, but whatever it is, she’d rather be kissing him than facing it. And if Jack’s hands slide down to her waist and lower still, she’s not complaining.

She’s forgotten why she’d come in his room in the first place completely until the Doctor—who knocks as much as Rose did, which is to say, not at all—comes complaining. “Rose, you left thirty minutes ago, what are you-” He cuts himself off, and Rose drops her head against Jack’s shoulder to stifle a laugh. She doesn’t even have to look at the Doctor to picture his expression, rolling his eyes, annoyed that they could possibly think making out against a bathroom sink is a better use of time than what he has planned. Jack’s skin is warm, and they both unmistakably smell like his brand of shaving cream. She rubs her face against him.

“Just finishing up, Doctor,” Jack shoots back. She presses another giggle into his shoulder imagining the way the Doctor’s face must be screwing up in feigned disgust. She manages to get herself under control enough to lift her head and face him.

“What do you think?” she asks.

“About what?” the Doctor says. 

“Rose came in for a shave,” Jack answers. He strokes her chin playfully. “How’s she look, Doctor?”

The Doctor looks her over, once a cursory glance, twice a real study. Rose is curious what exactly he’s seeing. It’s not like she’d had anything to shave. It’s not like anything had really changed, had it?

But the Doctor gives her one of those lovely, genuine smiles, and says, “Most handsome boy in town, I’d say.” Rose’s heart skips a beat, but she tells herself that’s nothing special. The Doctor can always make her feel that way.

She wouldn’t mind him calling her handsome again.

(She wouldn’t mind him calling her a-)

“And me?” Jack wheedles for his own compliment. 

The Doctor lets his smile drop, showily unimpressed as he responds, “You missed a spot.” Jack shakes his head, disbelieving until he reaches up to touch the place the Doctor’s indicating on his own neck and finds a small spread of missed hair right there.

“We’ll wait for you,” Rose tells him, though the Doctor huffs about it and makes a face. He won’t go without her, and she won’t go without Jack, and somehow, they’ll make it work. 

Jack waves her off to follow the Doctor back to the console room.

(“Doctor, settle a bet? Do you shave normally, or do you…”

“Rose, I know you’re not asking me if I can sonic a beard off.”

“Course not. I knew that.”)

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[shmowder]

Certain characters that I feel like would be good at accommodating a reader who struggles with chronic pain, especially headaches, are:

Daniil Dankovsky

Most doctors are skeptical of patients, fearing they exaggerate their discomfort, especially when it comes to people with chronic pain.

Dankovsky is not most doctors.

You know your body and limit better than him, so when you complain about your pain levels getting unbeatably high, he takes your word for it.

His room in the still waters is very quiet and dark. You're free to use it to your heart's content until your state gets more manageable. He'll prescribe you relief medicine and bring it to you alongside some water without any fuss. If he happens to stay in the room too, he puts extra effort not to bother you or make any noise.

Yulia Lyuricheva

She's in the same figurative boat as you, with her leg, migraines, and general being as a whole. Yulia recognises the signs of fatigue in you before you realise it. She is incredibly sensitive when it comes to deducing when your pain is starting to act up based on your subconscious behaviour. And therefore, is prepared ahead of you.

The benefit of living in the trammel is how quiet and empty a library tends to be, not that people in this town are big readers.

She'll hand you one of her favourite books. If you're not in the mood for ready, she pats the empty spot next to her on the couch and invites you to lay your head on her shoulder and relax by her side. If massaging the pained like your back or leg might relieve the pain, she would oblige. She'd inquire if you're fine with her smoking in the room, offering you one, too.

Katerina Saburova

Have her morphine.

No, seriously, take it. She doesn't mind, and she doesn't care if you have a prescription or not. You're clearly in pain, and her fragile heart can't stand seeing you suffer like this.

Especially since she's been there, too. When the anxious hollows of her mind were too consuming to function, when only screaming at the ninth doctor summoned from the outer town in a row seemed to finally convince them of how real her suffering is.

At least have a nap? Her bed is very comfortable and no one dares disturb her room. She'd bring you a plate of fruits to eat after you wake up, cutting them up and preparing it herself. Watching over you sleeping, hoping that her presence would at least keep the bad dreams away.

Made this while waiting for my pain meds to be absorbed and worked into my bloodstream bc this migrane is killing me rn.

[theelectronicstranger]

Loki Season 2 Episode 5 “Science/Fiction” Thoughts and Theories

            If you have not seen this episode of Loki, then please look away right now. I really like this episode and you should get a chance to watch it.

            I really liked this episode of Loki, or as I call it “Tom Hiddleston’s audition to be the The Doctor from Doctor Who”. The way he recruits Mobius in this episode literally reminded me of how the Ninth Doctor recruited Rose Tyler in first series. It is so nice to see what everybody’s life was like outside of the TVA. I like how different everyone was. Although, I would say OB being a science fiction writer who is also a physicist isn’t really that different from who he was in the TVA. It was really sad when he came out of the time portal to reveal to everyone that it’s been 19 months and his wife had left him and he lost his job. Loki literally just ruined this man’s life. It’s nice to see Hunter B-15 as a pediatrician; it’s not that different from her caring self in the TVA but when we first saw her in the show, this was not what I would imagine her real life was. Casey shocked me the most since he was a criminal in his timeline; the Casey we know in the TVA is completely opposite to his real-life counterpart. I love that Mobius was a salesman who sells jet skis. That would explain why he has this obsession with them. Although, that begs the question of: do the TVA members know some bits of their lives? Because Mobius has this obsession with Jet skis, the same way he kind of does with his real-life counterpart.

            I loved Loki and Sylvie’s conversation in the bar. I think it gets to the point of who Loki is and what he’s been wanting since we met him in Thor. He just wants to be with his friends. Loki, as a character, has always wanted to find a place where he belonged and a place where people would accept him. In the first Thor, we see Loki betray Asgard because he finds out he’s a frost giant. He feels othered by this revelation and he feels betrayed by the people he thought was his people. We even see that in the end of Thor: Ragnarok, where he helps the Asgardians escape Asgard. Sure, he’s doing it to help them but some part of him also just wants to be the hero that gets all this adoration and glory. We also see it in last season’s episode 5 “Journey Into Mystery”, when Loki is talking to the older Loki, who survives the attack of Thanos during Infinity War, the older Loki talks about how he was captured by the TVA because he wanted to come find his brother to see if Thor missed him or if anybody else did. Loki is this kind of sad character that inside this conqueror, malice, and superiority exterior, just wants to find a place to belong. He found that in the TVA. He found a place where he knew for a fact that he’s just this small being in this vast multiverse and there are things he can’t conquer, so he’s finally able to go back to what he truly wants, which is a place to belong and some friends to go along with it.

THEORY:

            You know when this season first started, I didn’t even think they would go to the Loki is the God of Stories route but after this episode, it seems more likely that that is what they’re going to do with him. If I remember correctly, just a few years ago, Loki was reborn as the God of Stories, which made him a being of immense power. Not only does he know that he’s in a comic (I’m pretty sure it was in that God of Stories run that he found out) but he can also warp/ change what ever reality he is on; he can make every story he tells into reality. Now, I don’t know how much of that the MCU is going to adapt or to put on Loki but if he does become the God of Stories then he literally can change the marvel landscape immediately. You know how there are rumors that Marvel has plans to change Jonathan Majors as Kang and to maybe bring the old Avengers back? Well, this is one way they can do it if they want.

            I’m not saying that Loki will definitely be the God of Stories by the end of this season. Although, him having to figure out whether time slipping’s rules are a matter of Science or Fiction, then ultimately figuring out that it’s a matter of fiction kind of points directly to this God of Stories route. Although, I think his powers would be nerfed a bit where he can only change reality by time slipping to the past and changing the reality through that point. That’s why in the first episode of this season, OB can remember his interaction with Loki perfectly because his new time slipping powers made it so that OB wouldn’t forget.

            What did you guys think of this episode? Was there something that I forgot or maybe got wrong? I’d love to know. I haven’t read that God of Stories Loki in a while, so I might be getting something wrong with that, so feel free to add more if you want. If I remember correctly as well, Loki ends up telling Deadpool that he’s in a comic at some point, but I’m not sure when that happened. Anyways, have a good day/night and thanks for reading.

[read-and-write-]

Get to know me, double edition

Two tag games running around at the same time so I'm copying some people and doing both at the same time, and for the people who tagged me in one, this is your tag for the other.

Thanks to @myheartalivewrites @happiness-of-the-pursuit @littlemisskittentoes @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 @14carrotghoul for tagging me in this! I finally did it!

There's two versions of this so this is a double tag game, reduce, reuse, recycle and all that, answers under the cut

First Set

Last song: María La Curandera - Natalia Lafourcade

Last film: I can't remember which basically tells you everything you need to know about how many movies I actually watch

Currently reading: Gideon the Ninth bt Tamsyn Muir, and I'm rereading Loveless by Alice Oseman because I want to anotate the physical book that i got half a year ago

Currently watching: Interview with the Vampire, I'm in episode 6 and seriously considering just putting all my tbr aside to read the novel

Currently consuming: Chocolate Ice Cream and a cheese sandwich (✨girl dinner✨)

Currently craving: This specific fries with pulled pork and cream cheese and BBQ sauce from this specific place that are bomb every single time.

Next Set

1. Were you named after anyone?

My great-grandfather, Manuel

2. When was the last time you cried?

On friday my cat needed to get surgery done, needless to say I cried more than once during that day.

3. Do you have kids?

i am just a baby (no)

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I did Artistic Roller Skating for a long time, branched out to Figure Skating for like two months but tropical country couldn't keep up and went back to my roots until around two years ago when I started having Adult Schedules for Work. I have also done Gymnastics.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes, and also suffer the "everything I say sounds serious" sindrome

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Hair generally, if we are speaking in Spanish, accent.

7. What’s your eye color?

Brown that leans to black.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, I am a coward and proud.

9. Any talents?

I am very good at knowing things, I am a fun fact girlie, if you have a random question ask me because 8 times out of 10 I have the answer, if I don't just give me 2 minutes and I'll have it.

And I also sing.

10. Where were you born?

Medellín ✨en la playa con la oriental✨ if this means something to you seamos amiguitos

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, singing, spending my money in silly little gadgets, walking around a mall just looking (o lolear, my mom would call it)

12. Do you have any pets?

My soulmate, best friend and child, a cat named Iglesia.

13. How tall are you?

1,56m or for my american friends 5'1

14. Favorite subject in school?

English, Spanish, Art and Philosohpy, long ago the four nations lived together in harmony-

I was indeed a humanities nerd.

15. Dream job?

Right now? mantenida, now if I had to chose and ignore if it's possible or not I'd love to work in the production crew of Doctor Who or any other big fiction TV Show, turning your hyperfixations into profit and all that.

OKAY now tagging some people, no pressure y'all, if you have already done it I apologize @raysletters @ssmtskw @rmd-writes @gayrootvegetable @gay-flyboys @firenati0n @anincompletelist

[pers-books]

Christopher Eccleston, Nicola Walker and more join Doctor Who audio story

The Ninth Doctor star paid tribute to the late David Warner.

By David Craig

Published: Friday, 25 August 2023 at 4:00 pm

Christopher Eccleston, Nicola Walker and the late David Warner are among the Doctor Who icons set to star in the next episode of Big Finish's Once and Future storyline.

The 60th anniversary event finds The Doctor in a Time Lord field hospital during the catastrophic Time War, where his body glows with a powerful energy – but it's no regeneration.

Instead, The Doctor's past faces begin to haphazardly appear with no clear pattern, prompting him to go on a journey to uncover who or what could have caused this overwhelming degeneration.

The next chapter – titled Time Lord Immemorial – is written by Lisa McMullin and has the following synopsis:

"Slipping between bodies, the Ninth Doctor finds his TARDIS caught between universes as the cosmos starts to break down. A Doctor from another reality arrives and they join forces with Liv Chenka and the Lumiat to find the cause.

"Someone has desecrated the mythical Hall of the Time Lord Immemorial, where the sands of time from the multiverse are held. And those sands are running out…"

Legendary actor David Warner, who passed away in July 2022, gives his final Big Finish performance as the Unbound Doctor in this episode, with co-star Eccleston hailing his incredible talent.

"It was quite emotional for me to work with David Warner, an actor I grew up as a child watching and admiring," he said. "To share the Doctor with him was special. If ever there was an actor who should have played the Doctor, it was David Warner."

Producer David Richardson added: "Bringing the Ninth Doctor and the Unbound Doctor together was inspired by the friendship between Chris and David.

"They have known each other well for some years and it was a treat to bring them together in the studio. To benefit from these two greats acting opposite each other was irresistible."

Robert Powell, who features as the eponymous Time Lord Immemorial, also paid tribute to Warner.

He said: "David Warner and I first met in 1978 when we did The 39 Steps, when I was playing Richard Hannay and he was playing the villain. It was great fun.

"A few years later, I played Frankenstein [for Showtime in the USA] and he played the creature. We haven't worked together since. It was really nice to catch up with him."

Eccleston's former Our Friends in the North co-star Gina McKee also features in Time Lord Immemorial as The Lumiat; an exciting new addition to the Doctor Who universe.

Script editor Matt Fitton explained: "The Lumiat is writer Lisa McMullin’s creation who is, in a way, the Master’s version of the Valeyard - in that she’s the opposite of everything the Master stands for. The Lumiat is an insufferably good version of the Master or Missy!"

[spirantization]

i just finished my doctor who rewatch in advance of the 60th. a lot of thoughts but most salient:

i 100% support rtd's move to rename series 14 as season 1 and presumably make it function as a starting point to newcomers.

this rewatch took me about 2.5 months, and that is with me often watching multiple episodes at a time. there are 153 episodes of new who. i have done so much knitting over the past couple of months. and yes, it's been fun to revisit as a show, and finally watch thirteen. i have enjoyed doing it, otherwise i wouldn't have done it, but it's also a commitment. i want to do other things in the evening. i have a stack of books i've been wanting to read. i need to turn my rosehips into tea. my friends have asked me to play viola at their wedding and i have to practice.

a couple of months ago, i probably would have said people can start with "rose". start from the beginning of the revived series! now, i just don't think that's fair to say anymore. what are you supposed to tell people? "if you watch an episode every day, you'll be done in just five months"? "if you're really eager you can do it in three"? that's not appealing. if someone recommended me a tv show right now that had 13 seasons, i would simply not watch it.

so sorry all "don't skip nine!" fans. extra sorry classic who people. i hope that the new season is amazing, because i sincerely wish to be able to tell people "start with season 1 and ncuti gatwa". if people love it they can go back and watch new who and classic who.

think of it this way: there is now a bigger time gap between the ninth doctor and the fifteenth doctor than there was between the seventh doctor and the ninth doctor. doctor who was off the air for 16 years; the revived series has been running for 18. time for a new era, i think.

[trekkingthroughthestargate]

What you need to know to watch the David Tennant era of Doctor Who

I have been seeing so many people asking about this after watching Good Omens and wanting to jump into David Tennant's earlier work, so I've written list of what you need to know to watch his era of Doctor Who.

1) Please don't skip season 1 (DT shows up in the final episode of season 1). It's seriously amazing and is so important for understanding who the Tenth Doctor (Tennant's Doctor) is, the characters he loves and interacts with, and why they are so important.

2) If you do skip most of season 1, I recommend watching at least these few episodes

1x01 Rose - Introduces the companion Rose Tyler, sets up the concept of the show, introduces the Doctor himself

1x06 Dalek - Introduces the classic villain the Daleks, and why they are specifically so important to the NuWho Doctor (even more so than the Classic Doctors)

1x12 Bad Wolf and 1x13 The Parting of the Ways (two-parter) - Culmination of everything that makes the Tenth Doctor who he is and the farewell to the Ninth Doctor

Bonus:

1x04 Aliens of London and 1x05 World War Three (Two-parter) - These episodes have a rather cheesy alien villain, but introduce another extremely important character for Ten's run, and sets up an arc that culminates in the finale

1x08 Father's Day - A very important character is introduced in this episode, and more than that it's an amazing episode with stunning character moments, a beautiful story, and a flawless exploration of various relationships

1x09 The Empty Child and 1x10 The Doctor Dances (two-parter) - Some of the best episodes of the entire show, introduces another extremely important character for Ten's run, and sets up the relationship dynamic that is so important for Rose, the Doctor, and [redacted]

3) If you really don't even want to watch those episodes of season 1 in order to get to Tennant, here's some quick information that you should go in knowing.

Under the cut for spoilers

Important plot to know: The Time War

The Doctor is not just a Time Lord, he's the last of the Time Lords. There was a war between the Time Lords and the Daleks... the last great Time War. And in order to protect the universe from destruction, the Doctor was forced to end it by destroying everybody. He committed genocide on his own people, and on the Daleks, in order to protect the universe. And the trauma, ptsd, and loss of that haunts him. Rose is an enormous factor in him starting to recover from that trauma, and she does it simply by being the most ordinary person in the world who is capable of being extraordinary, and showing him that there is indeed wonders worth living for.

Important plot to know: Bad Wolf

Throughout the entirety of season 1, The Doctor and Rose Tyler constantly run into "Bad Wolf" imagery. No matter where they are, when they are, or who they are up against, Bad Wolf is waiting for them. In the finale, they find themselves up against a fleet of Daleks who had escaped the Time War, thanks to the Emperor of the Daleks. The Doctor assumes that they had used Bad Wolf to lure him there, but they were just as confused by it as he was.

The threat is dire, and the Doctor finds himself facing a similar choice that he faced during the Time War: Destroy the last of the Daleks, but in doing so also destroy his adopted home (the Earth). And in the end, he cannot do it. But one thing he can do is send Rose home and keep her safe, like he promised her mother he would do. Rose absolutely refuses to do so, and finds her way back to him by looking into the Time Vortex transforming herself into a Goddess. She becomes the Bad Wolf, the Goddess who creates herself, and she left the Bad Wolf message back across time and space for herself so that when the time came she would know what to do. But all of that power is killing her, so the Doctor absorbs it all in order to save her life.

And so the Ninth Doctor, the one fresh from the Time War, traumatized, guilt-ridden, haunted by a loss he cannot even begin to talk about, dies for the love of Rose Tyler. And that is what Ten is born from. He is born for the love of Rose Tyler.

Important characters to know: Rose Tyler

This was mostly covered in the Bad Wolf plot, but Rose Tyler is the definition of ordinary. She works in a shop, is very firmly lower class, and has as much aspiration as she does opportunity. But she has grit, determination, and intelligence. So when the Doctor comes along offering her a chance to travel through time she jumps at the chance.

Her parents are Jackie Tyler and Pete Tyler (deceased), and her boyfriend is Mickey Smith. In the episode Father's Day, Rose goes back in time so that when her father dies in a car accident he doesn't die alone, and she holds his hand when he dies.

Important characters to know: MP Harriet Jones

MP Harriet Jones is a completely ordinary woman who the Doctor and Rose meet in their travels together. But she's brave, smart, and willing to do absolutely anything to save the world... even if it means sacrificing her own life to do it. When he first meets her, the Doctor feels like he knows who she is, and only at the end of their adventure does he remember: she will later be elected Prime Minister for three successive terms, and is the architect of Britain's Golden Age

Important characters to know: Captain Jack Harkness

Captain Jack Harkness is a Time Agent and a con man from the 51st Century who will probably cry if he is prevented from flirting with any man, woman, or vaguely human-shaped being at any given point. The Doctor and Rose meet him when he is actively trying to con him, but he proves himself in the end when he willingly goes to his death in order to save the world. The Doctor and Rose save his life, and he travels with them.

During the finale, in order to buy the Doctor time, Jack leads an army of civilians against the Daleks, kissing both Rose and the Doctor in farewell and telling them that he wished he hadn't let them influence him into becoming a good man... because he might have lived longer if he was a coward. Jack sacrifices his life to buy the Doctor time, but when Rose emerges as the Bad Wolf she restores him to life. When he runs back to where the Doctor, Rose, and the TARDIS are, they have already left, leaving him behind in the year 200,100

[starleska]

Neil Patrick Harris is about to finally make me cave in and watch Dr. Who I swear to god

oh my god please!!!! because i guarantee you 100% the funniest way to get into Doctor Who would be to start with The Giggle (the episode you've seen me losing my mind over) 😂💖 for real, you absolutely should!!! hit me up if you'd like a bit of background and any advice on where to start, because it is an enormous, sprawling franchise...but the good news is that you can take as much or as little as you want from it!! :3c there are some really hardcore fans who know everything about the massive universe, and folks who just like to tune in and have a good time ✨ as a Brit i grew up with Doctor Who, specifically the 'New Who' era from 2005 onwards, mostly with the Ninth and Tenth Doctors (and a bit of Eleven!). i dropped out in the middle of Eleven's run, and there's been loads of episodes since - not to mention all the episodes from before New Who! it's the longest-running sci-fi show ever, with fans all over the world and such a wealth of fun, interesting things and brilliant characters to explore 🥰 i think everyone should give Doctor Who a shot!! it's funny, smart, emotional, weird as hell...and it's incredibly valid to get into a show because you think a character is cute 😉 lmk if you'd like a copy of The Giggle, i'd be happy to pass over my editing copy!!

[sinofwriting]

They'll Have Me - Ethan Payne (Part Three)

Words: 1,260 Summary: Alice has her fourteen-week scan and has a slight breakdown due to a mean comment from a nurse.

Part One Part Two

Alice grips Ethan’s hand tight as her doctor moves the doppler along her abdomen. This was her first ultrasound using a doppler and the sensation of it moving across her skin was odd, but she definitely preferred it this way.

“The baby looks healthy, no deformities that I can see.” She smiles at the younger girl before returning her eyes to screen, squinting as she moves the doppler again. The baby was being stubborn, trying to hide, she didn’t want to let Alice out of her office today without an actual due date and the sound of the heartbeat. “There’s a few tests I’d like to do, just some simple bloodwork.” She reassures. “I want to make sure that you are also doing okay along with the baby.” “What kind of tests?” The young man standing next to Alice asks. She sends a reassuring smile. “Just standard tests. I want to check her iron, blood sugar, along with a few other things that I’d try to explain but It’d sound a bit like gibberish. Nothing that I don’t require for all my patients.”

Rotating the doppler, she smiles as she gets a very clear view of the baby. “Alright. You are definitely fourteen weeks along, which means that you should be due” she rotates it again, “February ninth. But babies have their own schedule, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you went into labor anywhere after the first to a few days after the ninth.” She takes a breath, “Okay. February ninth.” The doctor smiles, “now for my favorite part. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?” “Please.” She nods, before turning the knob that controls the sound and it fills the room.

Tears immediately start to form in Alice’s eyes, she wants to cup her stomach, to hold her baby as best as she can right now at the sound of their heartbeat. “Does it sound healthy?” She asks, sniffling. “It’s very strong.” A sigh of relief, leaves her and her grip on Ethan’s hand finally loosens, but he doesn’t let her hand go.

“There will be a copy of your ultrasound with the receptionist, unless you want more.” “Yes, please.” Ethan says. “I know I want one, and I’m sure mum will as well.” “Four please.” Alice requests, and the doctor nods. “Can do. Now, I’m going to a nurse to take your blood. I will see you at your twenty week scan, unless something in your bloodwork comes back that I need to talk to you about.” “Alright, thank you.” “Of course.” She smiles, before leaving the room.

“You doing alright, Fe?” Ethan asks, tearing her eyes away from where the doctor had been. She nods, giving him the best smile she can. “Just overwhelmed.” He squeezes her hand, but doesn’t say anything as the door opens and a nurse enters.

“Hello. I’m Jaine. I’ll just be taking your blood.” She greets them both with a smile. Ethan gives her another squeeze before moving, not wanting to be in the way. “It’s always nice to see the father coming to appointments. Are you excited?” The nurse as she starts getting the vials ready. “He’s not the father.” Alice interrupts, sending an sorry smile to Ethan, who waves her off. He’d be stupid to think that people wouldn’t assume that he was the dad. The nurse's smile disappears. “Oh. I see.”

Alice watches as she cleans the inside of her arm, stomach clenching at the unease in the room. “Could he not make it?” The words are polite but fill her with more dread. “He’s not in the picture.” The nurse scoffs before she can stop herself. Shaking her head, before starting to draw her blood.

Alice keeps her eyes on her lap, feeling tears in her eyes, but not wanting to cry, not in front of this nurse, or Ethan. Her arms wrapped themselves around her as soon as the cotton had been stuck to where the needle was inserted.

“I pray that the child will come out okay with only a mother.” The nurse says, before leaving the room and the last remark makes the tears fall from her eyes.

“Fucking bitch.” Ethan says, the shock that had kept him from speaking gone far too late. He glances over at Alice and his anger only increases seeing her curled into herself.

“You okay?” She nods, “I’m okay.” He doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t say anything. Just helps her off the bed, escorting her to the front desk with a hand on the small of her back. Concern growing when she doesn’t even smile when getting the ultrasounds.

“She’s wrong, you know that right?” He says once they get into the car and he’s waiting for the light to turn green. “I know. I just,” She pauses, sniffling. “It’s just I’m all they got, you know? I don’t have my mum and dad, gran, grandad. No aunties or uncles, not even a cousin. I’m all they’ve got and I don’t want to screw them up.” “Oh, love.” The pet name escapes and he flushes but pushes his embarrassment away. Taking a hand off the wheel he grabs hers. “They won’t be screwed up, not with you as a mum. And I know you think you’re all alone, but you’re not. You’ve got my mum and me.” “I know, it’s just,” “They’re going to ask one day to meet your parents and family and there won’t be anyone to meet.” She nods, “yeah. I’m grateful that I have you and Ruth. I just never thought about how they wouldn’t have any cousins to play with or an auntie and uncle to go to when I won’t buy them something.” Ethan chuckles. “I think the guys will have that covered. And who knows one of them or any of our friends could announce their having a kid any day now. They won’t be alone as you think.” He gives her hand a squeeze before dropping it to return the wheel as he makes a turn. “Thank you, Ethan.” She whispers after a moment. “Don’t worry about it, Fe.”

“Now,” he starts as they grow closer to the house. “Would you like me to do your hair when we get home? I could even wash it for you.” “You want to do my hair?” Alice couldn’t help the surprise that filled her voice. She had taught Ethan when they were both teenagers how to do her hair and in the years since he had done it more times than she could count, but never had he offered to do it before. “Yeah. It’s been awhile since I have. And I know wash day is today.” Her heart warms at him remembering that it's a wash day. “Sounds nice, but I’ll wash my hair, I don’t want to struggle getting off the floor.” He scoffs, “I’d just pick you up. Besides, my bathroom sinks big, tall enough that you could sit on a chair in front of it.” “You’ve thought about this.” Her voice is quiet. “I figured you might be tired when you're further along, best to be prepared. Besides,” he turns his head to wink at her. “You’re my girl. Gotta treat you right.”

She shakes her head, fondness filling her. Ethan had always called her my girl, and when he got a girlfriend it changed to my girls. Lauren, his first serious girlfriend, had always found it amusing when he did it. The words had always filled her with a fondness.

“Sounds nice. Thank you.” “You’re welcome, Alice.”

[fox-bright]

Right after Easter, twenty years ago this month, my mentor sent me a one-way ticket to Pittsburgh, PA, and saved my life.

I'd been more or less disowned a year and a half before--my mother threw me out on the ninth of September, 2001--and I was drowning in sand. I am not a creature of the desert, even if I was raised there, and my hometown was not a loving place for almost anyone to be. And while multiple friends and coworkers had by that point felt it necessary to stop me when I was idly talking about my week and say you know, you don't have to accept this treatment. You know, I believe she loves you, or thinks she does, but that's not GOOD ENOUGH when she treats you like she does, I hadn't yet really come to accept that my mother is who she is. I was miserable, and lonely, and not even allowed to visit  my siblings unless Mom was there, because "I don't know what you'd talk to them about, and I don't think you're righteous."

(I might, it's true, have talked to them about how I was queer. I was more likely to have talked to them about Final Fantasy or something, but I guess we'll never know.)

Mom threw me out when I was nearly nineteen. At twenty, Diane sent me a plane ticket. Her voice down the phone--I'd never heard it before, in the years that I'd been part of the young writer's forum she moderated, the internet back then was mostly text--was warm and gentle and peaceable. I found a room for you, she said. I have friends who can help you get a job. She sent me a Greyhound ticket to Phoenix (along with thirteen dollars in cash, because you could pay extra and give the recipient up to half the value of the ticket) and a plane ticket from Sky Harbor to PIT. I was scared and unsure, but I was so, so tired of being hungry. So tired of not knowing for sure where I was going to sleep next week. And sick at heart from my mother's behavior ("Did you sleep with him?" she asked me, about my fiance; when I quietly but unashamedly said I had, she pulled me forty feet by my braid, her acrylic fingernails digging bleeding grooves into my scalp that ached for months, scars I probably still have). I'd been so comprehensively heartbroken already that I didn't know how I'd survive it, and the trick to surviving suicidality is, do anything else. Even if it means you leave your whole life behind.

And I knew I'd miss my siblings, but fuck, I missed them already, so what the hell.

I got on the bus. I got on the plane. I touched down in the aftermath of a late snowstorm, and I didn't have a coat, and the air felt sharp and tasted like clouds. And Diane was there, smiling, and she started talking and didn't stop until she'd deposited me in my new home.

And then, having gotten me to Pittsburgh, she gave me everything. Took me to this meetup and that interesting park, introduced me to everyone she knew, constantly finagled and jostled and gently prodded me through anxiety and discomfort and into growth and learning and maturity. She took me to doctors and the dentist, which my mother had neglected or denied me when I begged (I was twenty the first time I ever went to a dentist; that's four or five solid years after I started telling my mother that I really needed to see one). She took me shopping for work clothes, and made suggestions about styling and my hair that would help child-sized, baby-faced me look a little more formidable. She didn't, ever, overstep; she always seemed magically to know when it was time to let go and watch me baby-stumble for a while until my feet were steady under me. I was such a very young twenty, half-feral, poorly-socialized and just about absolutely ignorant of how people should behave, and she never once made me feel ashamed of myself.

I've been thinking about this a lot this week. Twenty years. Half my life, just about precisely. All the things I've gotten to do since then--travel; take up a martial art and train and train until I competed on the national level; become an artist's model in paintings all over the world; perform lion dance for a ballet with the love of my life literally supporting me, throwing me into the air; learn to garden and to preserve my own food and to quilt and crochet and put up drywall and take down ancient varnish and unfreeze a pipe and make sourdough bread from starter and so, so many other things--I've gotten to do because of her. Because if she hadn't gotten me out of Cottonwood, within six months I would have been dead.

I love my life. I've had a lot of grief, in twenty years; lost a baby, lost friends to illness or just bad luck, lived with a boyfriend who was the very definition of psychotic and who burned my life down around my ears, chose other partners who weren't what I deserved, until I learned to require the right things. But I worked in my garden today under an unseasonably hot sun, moving wood-chip mulch with a wagon--

--okay, so the garden, right, and the mulch. I wanted this house because of its garden; I spend a lot of time in it, through much of the year. I grow a lot of food and a lot of flowers, and the air is full of birds all day and fireflies all night. Last year the next-door-neighbor on our left had tree people in to take down a couple of trees, and I looked at the deep dumptruckful of fresh tree chips and I wanted it. I knew that a lot of the time tree services have to pay to dump their wood chips somewhere else, and that they find it tedious. And I thought, Diane would just walk on over there, and say hi-ii  the way that she does, and ask for it. Diane would just smile, and--

I raised my chin, and I walked over, and I gave my winningest smile, and I said Hi-ii, I'm Gen, I live right there in the house with the blue roof, and I was wondering, do you guys want a place to dump all that? and fifteen minutes later I had a couple of tons of premium hardwood chip mulch behind my house. I've been transporting it to various places in the garden since, scoop by scoop with a shovel and my little black wagon, and have thickly covered a couple of hundred feet worth of beds so far. I put twenty wagon-loads up front of the house today, making twenty or thirty feet of new garden bed for native pollinator plants to go into in three weeks, and the whole time I was literally singing with how good my life is, how lucky I am, to have my husband, to have my home, to have a place that has kept me safe, to have learned so many things, to live somewhere that I get to experiment and watch things grow and produce baskets and baskets of food from a handful of seeds. Because of work and lessons and effort and continuing to put one foot ahead of the other, yes, I've worked hard to get here. But ultimately--because of Diane.

I don't really know what good parents are like. Dad is a word that means "hurts you and hurts you and hurts you and then disappears," and Mom is a word that means "will eat your heart from the inside and complain the whole time about the taste." But because of Diane...because of her, I do understand, a little.

[rachelbethhines]

60 Years of Doctor Who Anniversary Marathon - C. Baker 9th Review

Temporal Logbook III: Changed Lives - Anthology Charity Book

I have never heard of fan published charity books until I started watching Doctor Who. I know of no other fandom, large or small, that does anything like it; professionally publish fan-fiction and sell it for charity. I can only guess that such a thing is possible because of differentiating copy-write laws in the UK, because I highly doubt Disney would ever let you release a Kingdom Hearts or Star Wars book like that, even if all the proceeds went to good causes rather then yourself. Temporal Logbook III: Changed Lives, is the third in a series of charity anthologies. Modeled after the the various official short trips collections, such anthologies are perhaps the most common of the charity books. While there are full novels out there, anthology collections allow for better spread of the work load and so are easier to get printed. This particular publication features a bit of a theme. "Changed Lives"... each short story focuses on the impact the Doctor has had an individual, for good or for bad. Here is just a quick run though of what you will find.

A Forward By Yee Jee Tso : The actor who portrayed Chang Lee in the TV movie talks briefly of the impact of Doctor Who has had in his life

Fifth Doctor – ‘The Return’: After Tegan has recently left, a remorseful Doctor decides to check on another companion that also chose to abruptly leave him.... Dodo.

War Doctor – ‘Lament’: The Doctor lands on a memorial planet; as in the entire planet is a graveyard. There he meets a young woman who has recently lost her whole family, and he makes a startling discovery about the Time War.

Twelfth Doctor - 'The New Doctor': One of the Doctor's students stumbles upon the Tardis, but a quick trip to the planet of dreams quickly goes awry.

Third Doctor – ‘Technical Adviser’: They're making a Doctor Who movie! And the Doctor and Liz Shaw are asked on to be advisers to the film. But certain elements of the fictional story appear to be too close to real events for their liking. The Doctor and Liz go on quest to find the financial backer of the movie; a mysterious producer that seemingly doesn't exist!

Sixth Doctor - 'The Heart of the Matter': An old man re-accounts his adventurous life to his granddaughter, and tells about the mysterious stranger called the Doctor who kept turning up to redirect it constantly.

Eleventh Doctor- 'The Last Tomb': A lonely old man on the beach gets caught up in local family's vacation to a dying planet... more news at 11.

Fourth Doctor - 'Kiss of the Dybbuk': The Doctor and Sarah Jane land upon a ship who's crew is being tormented by the legendary Dybbuk. The creature can possess anyone, and so it's up to them to find the evil spirit hidden among the crew before time runs out.

First Doctor - 'Something at the End of the Lane': The Doctor has finally brought Ian and Barbara back home to their own time! The time travelers couldn't be more happy, but celebrations are cut short when a medieval knight shows up in a coffee shop.... and is that mastodon stampeding in the street?

Tenth Doctor - 'Consequences': When the Doctor makes the choice to save a little boy from dying... He lays out a path with dire consequences for his own future.

The Second Doctor - 'The Harvesters': The Harvesters are supposed to mine for precious materials within the asteroid belt for their creators back home... and when a new metal 'asteroid' on rockets enters the belt carrying rare organic materials, well it's a prime opportunity for the Harvesters. Too bad the human crew doesn't see it that way.

Ninth Doctor - 'A Night in Santa's Workshop': She's the last of her kind... but not for long. Earth will make the prefect new home for her offspring. And they must feed... and the Doctor and his companion will be the perfect meal.

Seventh Doctor - 'Sepulchered Soul': Locked in a battle for a mortal's soul, who will win? The demons, or an angel called the Doctor?

Thirteenth Doctor - 'Emotion Quotient': A young woman is suddenly frozen in time, and no one can figure out how or why... not even the Doctor!

Eighth Doctor - 'Auld Acquaintances': The Master has escaped death yet again, and the Doctor's personal timeline is unraveling as a consequence.

Now of course this segment of the marathon is Sixth Doctor focused so, without spoiling too much, the most notable things about 'The Heart of the Matter' is that Frobisher shows up again, and the ending is indeed a mind fuck. Trust me, you won't ever guess how it ends. As for the Collection as a whole, it was really enjoyable and quite varied. My personal favorite story was 'Something at the End of the Lane' but that's probably my Ian bias talking. All of the stories with in were of very high quality and I absolutely would recommend checking out the whole novel. Fortunately, there are still copies in stock and for sell, and all proceeds go to SETTLED. A charity that helps to provide free and trustworthy information, advice and support in different languages to EU citizens in the UK. SETTLED helps to ensure that EU citizens gain Settled Status and to respond to the difficulties that they face in a post-brexit UK.

[delta-queerdrant]

she's not your satellite (Twisted, s2 e06)

I peeked at reviews for “Twisted,” and apparently people do not like this episode! I guess I understand why - it is literally 45 minutes of people wandering the corridors, exchanging increasingly tense dialogue as they contemplate their deaths. What can I say, I enjoyed watching it. I am partial to a drawing-room novel where nothing happens, and in Star Trek, the corridors are the drawing rooms.

“Twisted” opens with Kes’s birthday party. She is turning two (underage even in dog years). This poor young woman is having such a bummer of a birthday! The party is at Sandrine’s, undercutting a sweet moment of found family with several rounds of holographic sexual harassment. A bad time becomes worse when Tom gifts Kes a locket, raising Neelix’s hackles. To be fair, it is a genuinely bizarre gift - all of the lockets I’ve received in my life were gifted to me before the age of ten - and only heightens the narrative confusion around Tom’s “just friends” intentions toward Kes. 

As soon as Neelix starts quietly freaking out, Janeway inserts herself into the conversation. What is this lady doing? She compliments the necklace and explains to Kes how lockets work, stoking the drama with the same energy with which she micromanages a science experiment. Is she oblivious? Does she think she is helping? Why is everyone being so weirrrrd?

I will pause to appreciate Neelix’s genuinely beautiful cake. I am so tickled by the conceit that people in space have space themes for their birthday parties, though I suppose it makes sense for Kes, who is excited to celebrate her first birthday on Voyager.

One distortion wave later, the layout of the ship begins to warp. Attempts to leave the holodeck continuously route the crew back to Sandrine’s (truly, hell). So much of Star Trek takes place in these interchangeable corridors, so the ship’s geography becoming the obstacle of the week is very fun! And cost-saving!

Unfortunately this is a Bad Neelix episode, in which we are subjected to the latest eruption of Neelix’s obsessively jealous ruminations. Neelix broaches the subject with Chakotay and gets the absolute worst advice: Chakotay explains that fear and love go hand in hand, but isn’t love worth the risk? Perhaps this is peak Star Trek: the suggestion that you can platitude your way to healthier thought patterns. In Chakotay’s defense, Neelix is asking the wrong questions; right now he needs help with his behaviors, not his feelings. Soon after, the two are separated by the diverging corridors, and we get the funniest moment of the episode, in which Chakotay calls for Neelix in the same plaintive tone that one uses to summon a cat.

The episode finally gets some momentum when Janeway is disabled by some 90s-era CGI, resulting in a power vacuum. “Twisted” was originally filmed for Season One, so we get a charged argument between Chakotay and Tuvok about how to respond to the distortion. Chakotay pulls rank, and Tuvok’s decision to cede to him feels like a big character moment - this is the guy who broke the Prime Directive behind Janeway’s back, after all. He’s accepted Chakotay as his superior, and he’s willing to set aside his own self-regard to play by the rules.

Chakotay’s plan fails, so Chakotay, in turn, puts his trust in Tuvok and decides to ride out the progression of the wave. Certain they are going to their deaths, everyone hugs it out, in a stiff upper lip, Starfleet way. To be specific, they hold hands, clasp shoulders, or in Tuvok’s case, sidles up close to Janeway without actually touching her. These people, honestly.

Of course, they don’t die. The wave was just one of those uncanny alien encounters that Starfleet crews are wont to have, and they depart with extra data about the Delta Quadrant. Maybe that’s why I like this episode: the ending just feels really… nice? It’s certainly a departure from the usual Voyager arc, where hard lessons are learned and sacrifices made. To quote the Ninth Doctor, “Just this once, everyone lives!” Our crew of weirdos with emotional deficits gets to have their cake and eat it too.

3/5 Jibelian fudge layers.

[basmathgirl]

Hi Basmathgirl!

No socks anon here. Sorry for my delayed answer. It took me a while to finally “force” myself to watch S4/E13. 😭

Thank you so much for your kind reply and the recommendations. Just finished “Best Laid Schemes”. And you were right, I very much enjoyed the entire story. I’m so used to rely on AO3 for fics, that I forgot that there are other/ older sources out there as well.

Like I said, I finally watched episode 13 of season 4. And I’m glad I knew beforehand what to expect. I mean I cried anyway, but if I had watched it without any warning, I would have been a mess afterwards. However as sad as the ending was, I truly enjoyed Donna’s part in the story. Plus the way they ended her story line, gave us all a great starting point for many brilliant fix-it fics. Of course I’m aware of Catherine and David’s return for the 2023 DW special at the ending of last year, so I’m super curious to see what will happen there. Kinda want to watch it immediately. Can I watch it immediately, or would I be completely lost?

Episode 13 included a scene, which confused me a little bit and I hope it is okay to ask for clarification, even though the question involves Rose.

When the Doctor started the alleged regeneration process, Rose cried she didn’t want him to leave her (paraphrasing here). However I always thought when the Doctor regenerates it is just his body, that changes, he still would be the same person (same memories, feelings, personality)? So she wouldn’t literally lose him, he would just change appearances. But maybe I’m wrong and I didn’t understand the regeneration concept correctly? Anyway I was a bit annoyed with her (as usual in my case), because my conclusion after witnessing her reaction was, that for Rose the outward appearance, at least when it comes to the Doctor, is the essential part of her attraction to him.??? Idk, it just irked me in some way.

(And as a side note: It’s kinda funny to me, that they gave Rose the “knock-off Doctor version”.😅

Although while watching episode 13, a part of me theorised for a while, if the Metacrisis Doctor will stay with Donna. But that would have been strange as well, I guess…)

I still have to watch the rest of season 4 though. I’m kinda putting it off again, because I know it is the end for David’s run.😢 Plus I read multiple times now, that the quality of the show will drop for a few seasons. Most people seem to agree that season 9 is the point when it gets better again. (What do you think?) So I’m somewhat cautious when it comes to season 5 and the introduction of a new Doctor.

And I wanted to let you know, that I found more blogs that share my thoughts on River Song, although for the most part they dislike her, because they are of the opinion that Rose should be the one who marries the Doctor. 🙄 I don’t actively hate Rose, for me she is just an annoying part of the show, I try to ignore.

...

I think in the end I’m just sad, that we didn’t get more seasons (at least 3...or 5 or….) of the Doctor Donna duo.

Thanks again for replying and I wish you a nice weekend.☺️

Hellon kind 'no sock' Anon! Good title although I'm worried you don't actually have any socks now...

No problem about any delay, because I've had to take my time to get here to answer you, thanks to a painful week full of migraines. *shrugs* Life just happens liek that sometimes.

Anyway. Yay that you liked the fic! I actually first started reading fanfiction on fanfiction.net; then went to Teaspoon [aka whofic.com], and from author bios on there, moved over to LiveJournal. Stumbling upon the Doctor/Donna com felt like finding a major treasure. So hopefully you'll give those older sources (and their older fics) a go.

Oooh, you have my sympathies about finding Journey's End (episode 13) an emotional event. 🫂It haunted me for ages. As for Rose, I'd always seen their relationship as "teacher-pupil" (and more "parent-child" when she was with the Ninth Doctor) so the whole "luuuuuurve" plotline shook me to the core; so you will have to forgive me for not believing in the Doctor/Rose romance. But she obviously fancied him and his duplicate like crazy - Rose!shippers have posted screenshots of her in that episode ogling the Metacrisis Doctor. It's such a fleeting moment I've never been able to catch it. The point is that many of them acknowledge Rose's flaws and love her anyway. That's true love.

Back to your question; Rose seemed to feel she was owed her prize of the Doctor after crossing dimensions and realities to find him. It must have been an awful lot of work to persuade Pete's World's Torchwood to provide the technology and technicians. Whether we think she should have done, despite being warned by the Doctor that to do so would destroy everything, is another matter. I saw her "You can't" outburst as indignation that she wouldn't get want she had strived so long for. It probably also means "I love THIS you and I don't want you to change"; and Rose often has her immature/selfish moments. Your typical 'only child' selfishness, when you think about it. All this is up for debate, and I might be completely wrong but I was going by the 20 year olds I knew, where everything is strong emotions and continual questions about yourself in the world.

Giving away another highly sentient being as her prize wil always be bizzare to me. If we had seen the Metacrisis Doctor give consent, or them talking it over, I'd have felt better about it. Otherwise, he's virtually handed over as a sex toy her pet human/hamster.

After that, we get the S4 specials. I've never rushed back to watch them again, to be honest. The Next Doctor is almost a Doctor/Rose Victorian AU; I detested Lady Christina in planet of the Dead, but loved Dr Malcolm Taylor (he gets a reference in The Giggle novelisation) and DI McMillan; The Waters of Mars was good and scary, so I recommend that one; and Catherine Tate was seriously underused (as were most of the guest actors) in End of Time. But that's worth watching for the interactions between the Doctor and Wilf. Honestly, seek those bits out. We won't mention that godawful wedding outfit they give Donna, because seriously, whoever decided she should have been put in that look needs shooting. They certainly went for 'ugly as possible'.

As for the 60th anniversary episodes, I'd say go ahead and watch them anyway. There are references to old companions (as you'd expect), a nod towards the last episodes of the Thirteenth Doctor, but you won't miss anything too drastic. The stories play out like any other Doctor Who episode, where you gradually catch up on the plot as you go. And there are loads of great bits.

Hmm. I was so ready to love series 5 and adore Amy. Well, I adored Amelia; the adult Amy was slightly worrying. Why did Moffat choose that job/outfit for her? WHY? Let's just that we weren't impressed by the acting choices. Then again, you might end up absolutely loving Amy - I know many do - but she leaves me cold so don't expect me to join that gang.

I had to double check what happened in series 9 because I'd forgotten *kicks migraines* and can say that's quite a good series. Missy was a great addition, plus Clara had rather outstayed her welcome by the time we reached this series, so I personally wasn't sad to see her go. The Christmas special, The Husbands of River Song, introduced us to the delightful Nardole, and I finally agreed that Doctor/River was plausible. Twelve and River were a pretty good combination, I thought.

Congrats on finding blogs to follow! Hopefully, you will gain loads of new friends along the way. 😊

I too wish we had had more series with Donna as the Doctor's companion; and CT did consider it, on the basis that if DT stayed, so would she. But it was not to be. However, they always say to leave them wanting more, so that certainly worked. I was gagging for thr 60th anniversay specials, and was not left disappointed this time.

It's always lovely to talk to you, despite the interruptions whilst trying to type this out (we had a sudden visitation from my grandsons to enjoy). I hope you have a wonderful weekend too! 😘

[randolphbellmd]

please forgive this long-winded recap of the year i am experiencing some uncharacteristic optimism and don’t know what else to do with it.

to preface, the last four new years eve’s have been awful. in 2018, my friend was in the process of breaking up with me but didn’t have the courtesy to tell me. in 2019, i was a ninth wheel at a party hosted by said “friend”. 2020 speaks for itself, i think.

my 2021 ended after a neuropsychologist doing a 45 min test (instead of an 8 hour assessment) and telling me that the crippling dysfunction that i had been struggling with for years was just single pandemic grad student things. she suggested i start taking a medication i’d already tried and vitamin D. this was a three days before my second pandemic xmas alone. i spent the next four days exclusively watching a sitcom and doing a puzzle (to get out of my head) and filled a script for a third attempt at antidepressants. i decided that if multiple therapists and an actual medical doctor was going to look at me and say “it’s nothing, just try harder,” then i was officially on my own. i had no friends in town, i had no one who could help me do my job, and i couldn’t rely on a doctor to help me. i was on my own to create my own support network.

for months i was fueled exclusively by spite, fictional characters, and a daily dose of meds. i wanted to get out of grad school. i wanted to be “doctor”. not because of the status or the jobs but because i wanted to be dr. and not mrs. or ms., and i didn’t want to quit after 6 years of being here already. that fueled me enough to stumble through a few months. i got some of my mojo back and started doing experiments again, which meant that i would get closer to graduating. then i tricked myself into thinking i had so much mojo that in the summer, i scheduled and finished a massive 12 weeks of 60+ hr/week. and i did it. all via faking it until i made it.

it turns out i made it.

but what really changed was that sometime in may/june, i started being able to see the future again. for the first time in years, i could see my future. grad school is always this purgatory between student and career and for years (coupled with isolation and general sam-ness) i couldn’t see any way out of it. not in a i-wish-i-was-dead way but the view of the future just looked like this big, dark, never-ending tunnel. this year i could finally see the signs that pointed toward the exit. i’m even getting close enough to see the light at the end.

i started thinking about how i saw myself in that future, and what being “dr.” actually meant. i’ve always been somewhat gender neutral (being named sam rocks, btw) and had been wearing almost exclusively men’s clothes for years, but i started thinking about how much better it felt when i allowed myself to be truly gender neutral all the time. when i was dr. sam, what did that look like? and i did a search for top surgery. i kinda laughed it off and was like yeah, wouldn’t that be nice, but eh, not now.

until i stopped saying “eh, not now.” and started saying “why not now?” and after weeks of detailed research it was looking more like now was exactly the right time. for a hundred reasons i won’t go into. i told my therapist and she asked how it felt to say that out loud and i said “this is the first time in years i’ve felt good about the future.” i called the hospital the next day and set up a consultation that at the time was nine months in advance. it’s in april of next year. which means the procedure will be sometime late next fall, right around my 30th birthday.

since that day, everything’s felt a little more hopeful. i had a hard deadline for when i wanted to be done with my experiments... because i would be recovering from surgery. i started exercising regularly... to be in better shape before the procedure. and it just snowballed from there. i’ve been exercising 4+ days/week for 20 weeks straight because i found a program that i like (and have lost 15 lbs because of it). i finished a huge experiment this summer and next month is my qualifying exam. i’m actually scientifically working on my gut, and had to give up my favorite foods for months to do so. i bought a suit. i made a tattoo appointment. i wrote 200,000 words of fanfiction.  i got a new therapist to help with the OCD. i hadn’t brought any meat into my home in years on account of crippling anxiety and i’ve cooked chicken three times. this month.

and if you’re wondering, these are all little changes. the workouts started as 30 min low-impact HIIT videos on youtube. the chicken isn’t magically a good sauteed chicken stir fry, it’s “i’m going to use tongs to throw this in the crock pot and not look at it for 4 hours until it’s cooked to death, but that still counts as cooking it.” it’s baby steps, but it’s real steps.

oh, and i got a second opinion from a different neuropsychologist, and after a full clinical assessment, i got a diagnosis that made sense. and it was even better than the first, because after getting that diagnosis, nothing has changed. my life wasn’t magically better because a doctor told me what was up, it just made me feel a little better about why things are so hard, and made me want to work harder on those things.

god just typing this doesn’t feel like it’s all true but it is. i sound like a cliche.

looking back at all the resolutions i wrote at the beginning of the year... i’ve hit all of them somehow. be ready for my qualifying exam, exercise more, cook meat... all of them. initially thanks to spite, tv, and antidepressants, but then because i started saying “why not now” (and also spite, tv, and antidepressants). it all snowballed. i’m writing this because i genuinely can’t believe what i’ve accomplished this year. especially because of where i was last year at this time, sitting in my shower thinking i was permanently broken and nothing would fix me, and i would never see through the darkness of this tunnel.

tl;dr: never underestimate the power of spite, small joys (read: tv), medication, and faking it till you make it. because if you do that enough, you won’t be faking it anymore, you’ll just be doing it. that perseverance will spill into other parts of your life if you let it. so much so that after 365 days, you won’t believe you were able to do all of this by - and for - yourself. create your own community. stick with it. change what isn’t working. try the meds. live for yourself.

this year, i lived for myself. it doesn’t feel real, but it is.