#but everyone loved my question about defining themselves as a type of weather to break the ice so sth?

[alexalblondo]

Chris I’m going to write an essay in your ask box so you can catch up on important stuff not some useful seminar that will help you in your career I mean important stuff and I mean cars

Alex qualified p14 which was poo

But it means he had a lot of cars to overtake and let me tell you he did overtake some spicy cars with his spicy car and was so fast and so impressive and so bastard to damage müller’s car and he yeeted himself into p4??? Albonium close enough

Also Liam my son yeeted himself from p7 to fcking winning the race????

Also there’s that stupid ballast rule in dtm which means top 3 will get some extra ballast but not Albono himself he’ll be ballast free and I’m hyped for tomorrow

Also I love dtm but not the rule of updating the lineup once a lap this is poo also quali is boring

But I love the race woo hoo was fun

F1 was a lot of rookies causing red flags which made me super annoyed

Horse team finally slower and merc and rb top 4 nature is healing

I’m sad to tell you but seb and Este didn’t make it to q3 😔

But they’ll do an albono and probably will overtake everyone boom seb and Esteban podium

Czarlz was annoying as hell and whiny and everything someone make him not my problem please

That’s it ❤️❤️

You didn’t miss that much but you missed some things come back I miss you

Xoxo Mal

Okay, this is so very amazing and I love you!

Cannot wait to rewatch the DTM race to see what‘s crackalin, the light of my life really said: let‘s make it inch resting and decided to qualify in the bottom half, holy shit 👀

Alex Albon, king of track limits and recovery drivers 👑👑👑

Will skip F1 quali though, no need to see my boys have shit luck

Also fuck them horses, horses are for 10 year old girls not grown men 😤

Cannot wait for Seb and Este to yeet tomorrow though, let‘s just not get a Bahrain repeat, my heart cannot take it 🕯🕯🕯

[snycock]

Mary Morstan is a Mary Sue

I was browsing around and came upon the Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test, and was struck by the definition the test writer gave of a Mary Sue:

 “…a character (male, female, or otherwise) who is given or is expected to be given unwarranted preferential treatment and unearned respect, thereby compromising the integrity and believability of the story and/or its characters.” (italics mine)

 Wow, I thought, that seems like a perfect description of Mary Morstan in Sherlock.  I know that one of my major frustrations with season 4 (and, to some extent, season 3) was her usurping John’s role with Sherlock and driving a wedge between them, despite Mofftiss saying that she would not (of course, I know that they lie).  And then there’s the whole defying-physics, leap-in-front-of-a-speeding-bullet thing…

 I found myself wondering how she would score on the test.  

 The answer is: very badly.  She got a 150.  Anything over 50 is considered to be “…almost certainly a Mary Sue, and a bad one at that.”  

 Details about specific responses under the cut...

 (I paraphrased some of the questions - the original test and original wording can be found at the link above)

Is your character described as especially beautiful?

(In script, Mary is described as “very striking” at first introduction.  Contrast with the script descriptions of John (thickset, weathered) and Sherlock (tall, lean, imperious) at first introduction.)  

 Does your character have any of the following: particularly unusual/exotic birthmark, tattoo, or blood color?

 Has your character been in a lot of physical fights/battles but doesn’t have a lot of scars to show for it?  

 Do you (Mofftiss) think of your character as a role model?

(I’d say given her role in s4, yes they do.)

 Does your character openly call anyone else incapable, incompetent, foolish, etc., but the character or characters referred to as such DON’T find your character’s behavior insulting, hurtful, rude, belittling, condescending, or insubordinate?

And do most/all of the character’s friends fail to get angry at your character’s behavior, despite knowing that their friend was insulted?  

Is the insulted person the type of person who’d never let that type of behavior slide with anyone else?

(I think Mary does this with both John and Sherlock)

 Does your character ever strike or attack any other character…yet the character or characters affected don’t get angry or upset over it?

And do most/all of the character’s friends fail to get angry or upset, despite knowing what your character did?

Is the victim the type of person who’d never let that behavior slide with anyone else?

Did a serious injury result?

 Do authority figures NOT punish your character when they probably would have punished xir peers under the same circumstances?  

 Are the rules of the universe bent or broken for your character?  

 Did you choose your character’s occupation and/or hobbies because you think they sound neat, glamorous, prestigious, or exciting?

 Is your character some sort of genius or prodigy, and/or is unusually accomplished for xir age, time period, place, occupation, and/or social status?

In something that is extremely desirable and/or useful within the story’s universe?

In something that is extremely difficult for virtually anyone to achieve?

Is your character simply the best or among the best among xir peer group?

Is xe famous or renowned for any of these?

Are other characters extremely impressed or astonished at your character’s skills?

Do they impress even the most cynical, jaded, exacting, or experienced?  

(Mary says her assassination team was at the “top of our game” for years, Sherlock describes her as having an “extraordinarily retentive memory”)

 Does your character end up in a tight spot and turn out to have cool, yet uncompletely foreshadowed powers or skills that were dormant and/or unknown before?

 If/when your character does make any major mistakes, are they quickly and easily forgiven with no real consequences for the character?

Did these mistakes ever result in important property or items being seriously endangered, damaged, or destroyed?

Did these mistakes ever result in people being seriously endangered and/or injured?

Did these mistakes ever result in anyone dying?

(pretty much the entirety of The Six Thatchers, there)

 Does your character ever single-handedly take out more armed forces than you can count on one hand using xir kickass awesome skills in one go?

 When your character makes new friends, do they care about your character as much or even more than they care for friends they’ve had longer after knowing your character for only a short time?

Would any of them die for your character?

Even characters that are not known for their friendly, outgoing attitudes?

Does any character who is normally portrayed as being cold, callous, or even cruel to others treat your character with warmth and kindness?

(I’d argue that all of these apply to Sherlock’s relationship with Mary.  When he shoots Magnusson, he’s essentially sacrificing his life for hers.)

 Do other characters often quickly and readily put their own responsibilities, dreams, and even lives on hold in order to help out your character, and/or quickly and readily engage in illegal or risky activity to help your character?

 Does your character’s love interest give up on or ignore prior responsibilities, deeply-held convictions, personal goals, passions, or lifelong dreams and ambitions to be with your character and live the life your character wants?

 Was your character orphaned, abandoned, kicked out, or at least raised by a person/family that was not xir own family?

 Was your character the very last or only survivor of anything?

(Mary thought she was the only survivor of Tbilisi until Ajay showed up)

 Has your character lost a close friend?

 Does your character angst about something xe did in the past?

 If your character has to prove xirself, does xe completely pwn everyone else and make them look like buffoons in the process?

 Do you (Mofftiss) feel insulted, attacked, or defensive when someone does not like your character?

If people don’t like your character, do you believe it’s just because they don’t “get” xir, or that they’re just jealous of your character?  

 Does a story arc pretty much center around your character, or is xe the main source of conflict in the story/arc?

 Does your character have a capability asset (talent, ability, skill, etc.) that for intents and purposes is identical to one had by a canon character, and the canon character’s capability is supposed to be extremely rare?

If your character’s capability asset is identical or near-identical to one a canon character has, does it work even better or more efficiently than the canon character’s?

Do your character’s capability assets allow xir to do the same job or fill the same role or function as a canon character, on the same team or in the same workplace as the canon character?

Do your character’s capability assets allow xir to do something a canon character did in the original story?

(this is probably my biggest beef with s4 – that Mary essentially took over John’s role with respect to helping Sherlock with cases and was seen as being as good as or better than John in that role. Sherlock even points out that her skill set is more impressive for the work than John’s)

 Does your character belong to or join an elite or special group?

Does xe specifically join the team/clique/crew/unit that the canon characters belong to?

Is xe accepted as one of the gang quickly, easily, and with no complaints or reluctance from anyone whose opinion matters?

(see above about replacing John/solving cases with John and Sherlock.  I also feel like this speaks to Mycroft’s lack of protest about his little brother solving cases and running around with a) an assassin, b) the woman who shot him)

 Does your character need a canon character to help xir work past xir problems and traumas?

Does the canon character have to reorganize xir schedule or set back other projects or personal goals to make time for your character?

Has the canon character never been shown as the type of person to try to reach out and help people in this way?

(I think this speaks to Sherlock’s complete willingness to help Mary in TST)

 Does a major canon character fall for/is attracted to your character?

Does your character fall for/is attracted to a major canon character?

If your character falls in love with or becomes the significant other/partner of a canon character, does your character’s love interest break up with a canon partner in order to make way for your character’s relationship?

Does your character end up moving in with or living fairly close to any of the canon characters?

(even if you don’t see John and Sherlock’s relationship as romantic, you can’t deny that John marrying Mary broke up John and Sherlock’s partnership/friendship, something that didn’t happen in the original ACD canon.)

 Does your character save the canon characters from a situation or come up with a solution that they probably could have done by themselves before?

 Does your character alter the behavior or habits of any canon character, or get any canon character to do something they’d normally be reluctant, averse, or even opposed to doing?

And the canon character isn’t angry or at the very least annoyed with your character’s antics?

Was the behavior or habit in question one of the fundamental, defining traits of the canon character?

 Is your character ever taken, threatened, and/or endangered by the villain?

Was there a special reason the villain targeted your character?

 Does your character do something that only a canon character should have done?

 Does your character play a crucial role in resolving the conflict of the story/arc?

Does your character actually die in the process?

Does everyone mourn the death of your character?

Is xe revived/resurrected/brought back later?

 Does your character know everything/almost everything about what’s going on in the story/arc?

While the canon characters know almost nothing at all?

Does your character play a central role in the resolution of the story/arc?

Does this plot/arc replace a canon storyline?

 Do you plan on writing stories about your character’s children?

[ulrichfoester]

Five signs you self sabotage

Do you ever feel like the world is against you? That no matter how hard to try, nothing pans out the way you want? We all go through struggles in life, and for some of us these are more dramatic than others. Issues like trauma, mental illness, divorce, poverty, abuse or crises can set the tone for our lives, and we have to push through in order to survive.

Irrespective of what we have all gone through, there is another kind of conflict that can also permeate our lives: Self Sabotage.

What is self sabotage?

Self sabotage happens when we choose to work against positive progress in our lives.

This can happen consciously (or knowingly), when a person chooses to prevent something good from happening in their life. For instance, if you have a friend express a desire to be in a relationship, but they actively choose not to commit to a partner for fear of future pain, they are knowingly self sabotaging to protect themselves.

On the other hand, self sabotage can happen unconsciously. This is often modelled to a person through their parents or mentor figures, and happens when the fear and trauma is so embedded in the brain that someone unhinges their life when they’re on the cusp of greatness. It might look like someone returning to an abusive relationship, relapsing and getting high, re-establishing contact with a negative influence, or causing chaos online, at school, or in the home to disrupt everything.

Do any of these behaviours sound familiar? Chances are you have seen a family member or friend self-sabotage before, and have felt helpless to change the situation. It can feel almost hopeless, because in a moment all their progress seems to be undone, and they are back in a dangerous, unhealthy or toxic situation. In these moments, the best thing we can do if speak truth with compassion, and remind our loved one that we are available to help them when they’re ready.

It’s easy to spot self-sabotage in other people. It’s harder to recognise it in your own life. Everyone has the capacity to self sabotage— yes, even you. When we are in an unhealthy mindset, it’s easy to trip ourselves up in fear. Sometimes, we may even halt our own progress because we don’t know how to navigate a healthier, more positive life.

Are you currently self sabotaging? Take a deep breath, and consider these five signs. If you are displaying any of these in your life, you could be preventing your own growth and happiness. This is not about shame (isn’t that why we self-sabotage in the first place?!), it’s about choosing to become the best version of ourselves. So let’s be brave, and read on.

You speak negatively about yourself

Do you actively put yourself down? Downplay your wins, highlight your ‘failures’ and punish yourself for being you? This may be a result of words a parent or partner has spoken over you.

If you say, or even think, “I am ugly,” “I am worthless,” “I am stupid,” “I am useless,” “I will never succeed,” or “I don’t deserve happiness,” then you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself. By believing these things— no matter how untrue they are — you enable this narrative to continue in your life. You set yourself up for failure before you even begin, because you don’t believe you are worthy of health.

This is not an easy habit to break, and in some capacity everyone experiences it. But by combatting your negative self talk with positive statements like “I am enough,” “I am worthy of love,” and “I deserve to be healthy,” you will eventually believe what you are saying and can change the trajectory of your life.

You won’t make plans for the future

Life is filled with unknowns, and a sign of health is our ability to make goals and plans. When we are self sabotaging, we refuse to commit to things to protect ourselves from disappointment or betrayal. This may be a relationship (romantic or otherwise), study, a career path, our health, or a dream we hope for.

The best way to combat this type of self sabotage is to start small. Choose one goal and work towards it. This may be as simple as choosing to take your medication everyday, purchasing a diary and setting deadlines, or reading a new book. Once you’ve achieved this, you can set bigger goals for yourself until you feel resilient enough to weather the ups and downs of having long-term dreams.

You complain. A lot.

Sometimes life sucks, and the world does seem like it’s against you. I hear you, and your pain is valid. But when we allow it to consume us to the point of toxicity, we make things worse. This often looks like endless complaining. You know the type of people I’m talking about— the ones who always find something to negative to talk about, whether it’s the news, their health, the weather or (God forbid) you.

Sometimes we can be those people. And there comes a point for each of us where we must decide if we want to be defined by our pain or our resilience. If we choose to be defined by our pain, we glorify it, making our life full of sadness and pouring this on everyone else. But if confront our pain, work through it and choose hope, we can become inspirations to other people. This choice opens you up to healing, wholeness, and new possibilities.

You blame everyone else

Pain isn’t something we choose, and is placed on us against our will. When this occurs due to the actions of someone else (eg. in cases of abuse, oppression etc.) it’s essential you know you did not cause this. Even in moments were pain is self-inflicted, it is often due to illness or circumstances a person never should have been exposed to. A person should never be shamed for their pain.

However, there comes a point in recovery where we must choose to take responsibility for our actions. This is not about blaming ourselves for what happened, but choosing to pursue wholeness in our future.

Sometimes our pain manifests where we live with a perpetual victim mentality, and the wrongs of the past make us blame everyone else for the negative things happening in our life right now. We hold on to grudges and refuse to forgive at the expense of our own health. This is a common characteristic of self sabotage.

When we move from the mindset of victim to overcomer, we take back power over our lives and choose healing. This allows us to own our strengths and weaknesses, be vulnerable, and to command our own destiny.

If this is you, next time something goes wrong, ask yourself, “What can I do to take control of this situation for my good?” This is a challenging process and takes courage, but you deserve it.

You cut off relationships. A lot.

Sometimes we need to make a clean break from relationships. In situations of abuse, manipulation and lack of safety, we may need to stop all communication with a person. This is a courageous and vital choice when we are recovering from the past.

However, this act can become unhealthy when we use it as an excuse to avoid conflict and growth in a relationship. If you are self sabotaging in relationships, you may cut off someone when they stop meeting your needs due to their own circumstances. Perhaps they challenged you on something that you don’t want to change, or didn’t turn out to be the friend you expected them to be.

Cutting off a relationship can be subtle and quick. But in an age of social media, it can often look like unfriending people for (seemingly) no reason, leaving hurtful or passive aggressive comments, or speaking about people behind their backs.

The best way to figure out if a relationship is worth your time is to ask these questions:

Does this person know what I expect of them?

Is it fair to expect this person to fulfil this need?

Have I acted as a friend to this person?

Have I spoken to them about this issue and tried to resolve it with them?

If you have tried to salvage a relationship with no success, then part ways without fan fare. There’s no need for cruel Facebook posts or rumours. Instead focus your energy on the relationships that do bring you life, and leave the other person in peace.

Do you self sabotage? Would you like to find healing and wholeness? Here’s what you need to do: Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation on how we can best help you or book online .

The post Five signs you self sabotage appeared first on Watersedge Counselling.

Five signs you self sabotage published first on https://familycookwareshop.tumblr.com/

[ulrichfoester]

Five signs you self sabotage

Do you ever feel like the world is against you? That no matter how hard to try, nothing pans out the way you want? We all go through struggles in life, and for some of us these are more dramatic than others. Issues like trauma, mental illness, divorce, poverty, abuse or crises can set the tone for our lives, and we have to push through in order to survive.

Irrespective of what we have all gone through, there is another kind of conflict that can also permeate our lives: Self Sabotage.

What is self sabotage?

Self sabotage happens when we choose to work against positive progress in our lives.

This can happen consciously (or knowingly), when a person chooses to prevent something good from happening in their life. For instance, if you have a friend express a desire to be in a relationship, but they actively choose not to commit to a partner for fear of future pain, they are knowingly self sabotaging to protect themselves.

On the other hand, self sabotage can happen unconsciously. This is often modelled to a person through their parents or mentor figures, and happens when the fear and trauma is so embedded in the brain that someone unhinges their life when they’re on the cusp of greatness. It might look like someone returning to an abusive relationship, relapsing and getting high, re-establishing contact with a negative influence, or causing chaos online, at school, or in the home to disrupt everything.

Do any of these behaviours sound familiar? Chances are you have seen a family member or friend self-sabotage before, and have felt helpless to change the situation. It can feel almost hopeless, because in a moment all their progress seems to be undone, and they are back in a dangerous, unhealthy or toxic situation. In these moments, the best thing we can do if speak truth with compassion, and remind our loved one that we are available to help them when they’re ready.

It’s easy to spot self-sabotage in other people. It’s harder to recognise it in your own life. Everyone has the capacity to self sabotage— yes, even you. When we are in an unhealthy mindset, it’s easy to trip ourselves up in fear. Sometimes, we may even halt our own progress because we don’t know how to navigate a healthier, more positive life.

Are you currently self sabotaging? Take a deep breath, and consider these five signs. If you are displaying any of these in your life, you could be preventing your own growth and happiness. This is not about shame (isn’t that why we self-sabotage in the first place?!), it’s about choosing to become the best version of ourselves. So let’s be brave, and read on.

You speak negatively about yourself

Do you actively put yourself down? Downplay your wins, highlight your ‘failures’ and punish yourself for being you? This may be a result of words a parent or partner has spoken over you.

If you say, or even think, “I am ugly,” “I am worthless,” “I am stupid,” “I am useless,” “I will never succeed,” or “I don’t deserve happiness,” then you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for yourself. By believing these things— no matter how untrue they are — you enable this narrative to continue in your life. You set yourself up for failure before you even begin, because you don’t believe you are worthy of health.

This is not an easy habit to break, and in some capacity everyone experiences it. But by combatting your negative self talk with positive statements like “I am enough,” “I am worthy of love,” and “I deserve to be healthy,” you will eventually believe what you are saying and can change the trajectory of your life.

You won’t make plans for the future

Life is filled with unknowns, and a sign of health is our ability to make goals and plans. When we are self sabotaging, we refuse to commit to things to protect ourselves from disappointment or betrayal. This may be a relationship (romantic or otherwise), study, a career path, our health, or a dream we hope for.

The best way to combat this type of self sabotage is to start small. Choose one goal and work towards it. This may be as simple as choosing to take your medication everyday, purchasing a diary and setting deadlines, or reading a new book. Once you’ve achieved this, you can set bigger goals for yourself until you feel resilient enough to weather the ups and downs of having long-term dreams.

You complain. A lot.

Sometimes life sucks, and the world does seem like it’s against you. I hear you, and your pain is valid. But when we allow it to consume us to the point of toxicity, we make things worse. This often looks like endless complaining. You know the type of people I’m talking about— the ones who always find something to negative to talk about, whether it’s the news, their health, the weather or (God forbid) you.

Sometimes we can be those people. And there comes a point for each of us where we must decide if we want to be defined by our pain or our resilience. If we choose to be defined by our pain, we glorify it, making our life full of sadness and pouring this on everyone else. But if confront our pain, work through it and choose hope, we can become inspirations to other people. This choice opens you up to healing, wholeness, and new possibilities.

You blame everyone else

Pain isn’t something we choose, and is placed on us against our will. When this occurs due to the actions of someone else (eg. in cases of abuse, oppression etc.) it’s essential you know you did not cause this. Even in moments were pain is self-inflicted, it is often due to illness or circumstances a person never should have been exposed to. A person should never be shamed for their pain.

However, there comes a point in recovery where we must choose to take responsibility for our actions. This is not about blaming ourselves for what happened, but choosing to pursue wholeness in our future.

Sometimes our pain manifests where we live with a perpetual victim mentality, and the wrongs of the past make us blame everyone else for the negative things happening in our life right now. We hold on to grudges and refuse to forgive at the expense of our own health. This is a common characteristic of self sabotage.

When we move from the mindset of victim to overcomer, we take back power over our lives and choose healing. This allows us to own our strengths and weaknesses, be vulnerable, and to command our own destiny.

If this is you, next time something goes wrong, ask yourself, “What can I do to take control of this situation for my good?” This is a challenging process and takes courage, but you deserve it.

You cut off relationships. A lot.

Sometimes we need to make a clean break from relationships. In situations of abuse, manipulation and lack of safety, we may need to stop all communication with a person. This is a courageous and vital choice when we are recovering from the past.

However, this act can become unhealthy when we use it as an excuse to avoid conflict and growth in a relationship. If you are self sabotaging in relationships, you may cut off someone when they stop meeting your needs due to their own circumstances. Perhaps they challenged you on something that you don’t want to change, or didn’t turn out to be the friend you expected them to be.

Cutting off a relationship can be subtle and quick. But in an age of social media, it can often look like unfriending people for (seemingly) no reason, leaving hurtful or passive aggressive comments, or speaking about people behind their backs.

The best way to figure out if a relationship is worth your time is to ask these questions:

Does this person know what I expect of them?

Is it fair to expect this person to fulfil this need?

Have I acted as a friend to this person?

Have I spoken to them about this issue and tried to resolve it with them?

If you have tried to salvage a relationship with no success, then part ways without fan fare. There’s no need for cruel Facebook posts or rumours. Instead focus your energy on the relationships that do bring you life, and leave the other person in peace.

Do you self sabotage? Would you like to find healing and wholeness? Here’s what you need to do: Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245 or Duncan on 0434 331 243 for a FREE 10 minute consultation on how we can best help you or book online .

The post Five signs you self sabotage appeared first on Watersedge Counselling.

Five signs you self sabotage published first on https://familycookwareshop.tumblr.com/