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angelanimedesaray · 4 years ago

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Through the Looking Glass Chapter 9: April

AN: I’m getting ahead of the question now and stating that in this world, AOT isn’t an anime (Poor souls). So no, the Reader isn’t going to become omnipotent to Levi’s life/world.

They did not binge this in one day. The first round, for sure they did, but it was a little broken up in spurts. For the sake of brevity, considering this was already going to be a long chapter, I cut out all the flickering back and forth and just focused on their Movie Nights and them watching the show.

It might feel a weird mix of rushed and long, because they’re watching the entirety of Your Lie In April, but I wasn’t going to transcribe the whole show, so there’s a lot of summarizing and cutting things out and highlighting certain pieces, but its still long because there’s a LOT to cover.

Also because of how emotional this chapter is actually going to be, I want to just remind...that Levi is like, mid teens, and hasn’t gone through much of the stuff that adult Levi has been through, so in my mind, that justifies a bit more of a REACTION for some of this stuff. But he’s still Levi, and he’s still going to be reserved and such, just...not as controlled as Adult Levi.

This whole chapter is like one big lead up to the next chapter, funnily enough. XD

Also got to listen to “Constellation” by Far Out feat. Karra on repeat writing this. It felt so fitting!

I’m putting quotes from Your Lie in April in italics with quotes and an indent like this, so its clear that they came from the show. Levi’s thoughts/memories will just be in italics, no indention .

Characters: Levi, Reader

Pairing: (Eventual Levi x Reader)

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR “YOUR LIE IN APRIL”, Angst, FEELINGS, Language

Word Count: 10994

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

At long last, Y/N was finally going to show him those movie, show things she kept talking about. He knew plays and acting and putting on an act, but the concept of a show that was saved so you could watch it whenever you wanted without having to make people do it over and over was novel to him.

Boisterously proclaiming that it was going to be a “Movie Night” day, she’d grabbed his hand and dragged him after her like she’d used to do when they were young, despite his protests. To be fair, he didn’t try too hard to wiggle away, either, letting her pull him along to the living room as she fussed and tried to decide what they were going to watch.

After all of her attempts to explain what a movie or TV show was, she decided that the best way to explain it to him was just to show him, though she still had to stop and explain the type of show they were watching.

“Okay, so what I’m showing you right now, is actually called an anime. It’s a type of animation from a country called Japan, and it’s made from computers or hand drawn. They draw the story, picture by picture, and put it together to make the characters and such move, with actors doing their voices and recording it in time with the pictures, sound effects like bells and wind also being saved, background music, so on and so forth,” she explained as she cut up pieces of paper and layered them on top of each other, pulling out a pencil and drawing a circle on each page, moving its position slightly each time. “See, if you do it frame by frame, and then move it really fast, it's like the ball is bouncing--animation, and anime, works off the same concept, except they’re drawing everything,” she continued to explain, grabbing the bottom page and then letting the papers rapidly spring free, causing Levi to see the ball she drew appear to move along the page, even though he knew it was a bunch of individual drawings going by rapidly.

“They draw a solid background that doesn’t move, and then they add another layer on top that you can see through like glass, but they draw the moving parts on that layer, so it looks like they’re in the solid background and they’re walking and whatnot. It’s really cool--makes me wish I could draw,” she continued, putting aside the papers she’d used for her demonstration and picking up the controller so she could get them started, gesturing for Levi to take a seat on the couch. “I haven’t seen this one yet, but a friend recommended I watch it cause I love music, and I play the piano, and she said it was a really good coming of age story. I’m a little wary cause she said she wanted my reaction to the end, but she usually suggests stuff I love, so I’m gonna trust it,” she continued to babble as the screen lit up with colors and pictures like a computer screen, most of it nonsensical to Levi as she shifted rapidly past most of it looking for the specific show.

She stopped on something extremely colorful, blues and yellows and pinks and reds in vibrant color with four drawn people lying in what looked like the sky, and she abruptly turned to face him. “Are you okay with having to read what they say? The original is in a different language, so it’ll have subtitles at the bottom translating what they say. There are other versions where they redid the speaking parts in different languages, but I really like listening to the original--I feel like it really gets the emotions across because it's so well done.”

Levi hesitated for a moment, contemplating her offer of putting it in a language they understood or keeping the original and having to read what they were saying. Eventually, he just shrugged. “Whichever you want.”

“Subtitles it is,” she said, turning back to the TV and messing with a few things before she finally started the show, coming over to sit by him on the couch. He was sitting normally, his ankle propped up on his leg with one arm resting against the back of the couch, the other lying casually in his lap. Y/N, however, sat directly beside him, his arm behind her shoulders and her side pressed slightly against his, causing Levi to glance at her, mind flashing back to how she’d sat at the piano with him not too long ago. She wasn’t even glancing at him, though, gradually relaxing next to him like a kitten curling up to get warm, her eyes fixed on the colorful display that was now on the TV.

Turning his attention back to the TV, Levi studied the images in front of him, a cheerful bit of piano music fluttering towards them as vibrant and colorful images of a girl chasing a black cat moved seamlessly across the screen, much smoother than the quickly drawn bouncing ball Y/N had put together to describe what they would be watching.

If she was trying to sneak a peak of his reaction, she would catch his eyes had widened at the vibrant colors and amazing detail, the realistic sounds that came through and made him want to check and see if the piano behind them was being played, or there were people hiding somewhere making the character’s voices and singing the song as the scene suddenly shifted to what Y/N described to him as an intro, a quick prologue of sorts that set the tone of the show. Thankfully, however, she’d already explained to him that the sounds were done beforehand, recorded and somehow stored so it would be repeated to the images on the screen as they watched.

It was a little...outside his realm of understanding, how it all worked, and he had the sneaking suspicion he’d just have to accept that it just was and he needed to sit back and try to enjoy it. That was how a show was supposed to work, right? And that was exactly what Y/N seemed to be doing.

As she had warned him, the characters were speaking an entirely different language, so Levi couldn’t understand what was being said on its own. Thankfully, there were the subtitles to translate, Levi’s gaze flickering between reading the small letters to looking at the colorful screen to see what was happening, trying not to get too caught up in the details he didn’t understand, like the games the kids were playing, and how different the environment was even to what he saw in Y/N’s world.

At least the basic stuff he could easily make sense of--the main character was obviously the quiet and reserved, black haired, blue eyed pianist Kousei, and the characters were around Levi and Y/N’s age. The point of the story wasn’t clear yet, but she’d explained this was going to be episodic--it would be played like chapters in a novel, stopping at the end of a chapter before they would have to start the next one. So it might be a while before he started catching that. Right now, they were meeting characters, finding out their relationship to one another and getting hints at the history between them all.

Like the fact that Kousei lived alone because his father was absent, and his mother was deceased. She’d succumbed to illness when he was still young. That alone had the stirrings of empathy settling in Levi’s chest for the main character. He couldn’t relate to the abuse, but the desire to make her better, that somehow he could do something to make her feel better did resonate. It made him listen to their conversations a bit more, since he already had a foothold and something relatable.

Once he started drawing comparisons to the story unfolding in front of him, he couldn’t stop noticing them.

“The moment I met him, my life changed. Everything I saw, heard, and felt. All the scenery around me started to take on color. The whole world began to sparkle.”

A world of monotone, devoid of color, until he meets a certain vibrant youth who brings a sudden rush of color and life into the world around her, dragging Kousei in by the hand--as if he could ever resist the force of nature she was.

Hm. He wondered who that reminded him of.

He didn’t even notice when the “chapter” ended and the next started, his gaze flickering subtly towards Y/N on the couch beside him, appearing just as taken by the story as he already was.

However, this new chapter did bring about new questions, and was a bit closer to his grasp of understanding after watching Y/N play music for so long.

“Do you ever do competitions?” Levi asked as the characters walked around the competition and the history Kousei had at this specific building was teased, easily able to see that there was a piano on the stage despite it being a violin competition. Surely if there were competitions for violins, there were for pianos?

She shook her head, chewing slightly on her lower lip as she answered him. “No way--I play piano for myself and a few people. I’m not looking to make a career of it or become famous for it. Not to mention, I don’t think I’m cut out for competitions. There’s a lot of pressure, and they’re really strict about playing the pieces exactly how they were originally written. I want to play the piano how I feel, and that’s not always by paying attention to how it's written on the sheet.”

“And violins? What are they like?” he asked. He hadn’t seen or heard a violin yet, and was curious to hear what they would sound like.

“They’re a string instrument--portable, small. Really beautiful, too--they’re my second favorite instrument. They usually pair wonderfully with pianos--I’m pretty sure it’s common for a piano to accompany a violin in shows and competitions.”

Levi hushed with his questions again as the scenes playing out on the TV continued to unfold and the first violin performer took the stage, Levi hearing the light and lively music of the violin for the first time, the same song being performed over and over by the nondescript and nameless musicians on the stage in the show.

Beside him, Y/N was slowly tilting her head side to side as she listened to the music being played, eyes fixed on the screen. She must have felt almost in her element watching this, while Levi felt a bit more like Tsubaki, not understanding a lot of the names and such that were being thrown around by the characters in discussion, but still there to enjoy it nonetheless. When Kousei was tapping his fingers on the armchair to the piano music, Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N to see if she was doing something similar, since she seemed focused on the music as well. It wasn’t as precise as Kousei, maybe she wasn’t playing every note in her head, but her fingers were lightly tapping against her legs like she wanted to be playing the keys on the piano.

Then came Kaori’s first performance.

Watching, Levi felt a familiarity in the girl’s intensity, once again reminded of the girl sitting next to him, who seemed to throw herself into every aspect of life around her--at least compared to him. There was a tension in the air, a feeling that this was going to be much different than the music they’d been hearing up until this point. Even Y/N had stilled next to him, eyes riveted to the girl on the screen.

The first notes were shocking. After listening to Y/N play the piano for so long, even his unprofessional, inexperienced ear could hear the shift in the sound, and how rich and deep it suddenly was. Beside him, Y/N shifted into a more upright position, eyes suddenly lighting up and sparkling as she leaned forward, her breath catching. The ripple through the audience wasn’t just in the show, but in reality, as the two of them on the couch suddenly focused entirely on Kaori’s performance.

The girl’s eyes flashed on screen, and the music suddenly leapt to life before them, making his own heart seem to pound a little faster, the sounds pleasant and uplifting to his ears, making him restless in a good way. It sounded similar to when Y/N played the piano with him that one day, not necessarily in skill, but in the life and emotion that was in it.

Like Y/N, Kaori was pouring herself into her playing, she shone brightly through in the piece, made like it was pulling back a curtain to reveal a part of her soul. Kousei even said as much, stating that Kaori was making the piece hers and hers alone.

The performance ended, and Y/N suddenly grabbed his arm with a squeal. “That was awesome! I’m going to have to find a recording of that!” she said breathlessly. Her excitement was infectious, and almost prompted Levi towards a smile as they slowly settled back onto the couch, the story progressing in front of them.

She was such a stark contrast to the black haired youth in front of her, the whirlwind to his reserved personality, but even she would show flashes of vulnerability, for his eyes only, it seemed. And he did what he could to hide what he could in order to protect her, without her ever knowing, probably.

Wait, was he still thinking about Kaori and Kousei?

Levi shook his head, focusing back on what was happening, reading Kousei’s contemplations about how he could still hear the refrain of the music Kaori played in the competition he witnessed, over and over.

Levi’s fingers tapped slightly against the back of the couch and in his lap, barely tapping out the melodies for the song they’d played on the piano the other day, music he heard even when he was alone with his thoughts in his own world, still able to feel her fingers aligned with his, guiding him through each key. He’d find himself tapping them out in rare moments of idleness, like he was still clinging to the memory of the sound even if he didn’t have a piano in his world.

Y/N shifted entirely back to her relaxed position against Levi’s side, head brushing briefly against his shoulder and making his skin tingle where the brief contact had been, his stomach squirming.

Kaori dragged poor Kousei around everywhere, usually into situations far out of his comfort zone, and far more aggressively than a certain someone sitting beside him. However, it seemed like more often then not, those situations were wonderful places that he wouldn’t have found or experienced on his own.

She brought color to his monochrome life.

Where he was hidden in shadows, she was cast in light, and she didn’t hesitate to pull him into the sun.

”I know you’re broken and beat up, but I want you. I choose you. I want you here.”

The beginning chapters seemed to fly by quickly, with Kaori pushing Kousei more and more, and beside Levi, Y/N seemed to be slowly wiggling closer to him. Was it intentional? Did she realize she was doing it? He did--he seemed hypersensitive to every motion, yet he didn’t pull away, didn’t even twitch. He stayed still, like sudden movement might frighten her away as easily as a stray cat.

As intriguing as the events on the screen were--and he was taking in the information, such as how Kousei used to have a black cat, how he couldn’t hear the sound of the piano after his mother died and quit piano directly afterwards, important stuff like that--Levi’s thoughts kept wandering as he watched.

He thought of how beautiful the trees with the pink petals were, how breathtaking every scene with them was, and how prominently they seemed to feature in every scene that had something meaningful going on. Y/N called them cherry blossom trees. He wanted to see one. What would it look like? What would the scene be if he stood under one with her?

Before he knew it, Kaori had cornered Kousei into accompanying her on the piano, and they were rushing towards another performance. Anticipation stirred in the air between him and Y/N, both of them wondering how this piece would sound, considering Kousei had already been framed as a child prodigy on the piano, and they knew Kaori was breathtaking. What would it sound like when they played together? Levi worried about how it would turn out, how Kousei seemed to be unraveling in front of them just before they went up on stage.

Before Kaori gave him a literal smack to get him out of his own head.

As lighthearted and carefree as she seemed to be, every now and then, she would drop these little petals of wisdom.

Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N again.

Her eyes would shift from a sparkle that almost seemed naive to a depth he hadn’t expected to see, and she’d say something that seemed beyond her years.

“Go on a journey. A man away from home need feel no shame.”

“Natural. Bizarre. It’s like this girl herself is the journey with no clear destination.”

“You’re Freedom Itself.”

The couple took the stage. The song started out slow, sensual, peaceful. It reminded him slightly of the song Y/N taught him.

Before, predictably, Kaori brought her wild, fast paced playing back, bringing liveliness to the performance. It started beautifully, but just as the music seemed to portray some kind of descent, Kousei lost sense of the notes, the sound distorted even for them, listening, as if they were Kousei, only able to faintly hear Kaori while the rest sounded muffled, strangled out by water. When they were allowed to hear the sound again, it was off, it sounded harsh and jarring, out of sync. Not at all pleasant.

Considering the earlier mentioned problems, he should have known this wasn’t going to be a perfect and completely enjoyable performance. It was grating, and while he understood the emotional significance of seeing Kousei give up halfway through, his ears were a little grateful by that point.

The surprise was seeing Kaori stop as well. He’d thought perhaps something would urge Kousei to start playing again, but he hadn’t expected Kaori to stop in the process. Beside him, Y/N seemed to be biting on her thumbnail, her brows furrowed as she watched the screen in concern, a frown on her face, leg shifting restlessly around on the couch as she suddenly curled closer to Levi, directly against his side, oblivious to the surprised look he shot her because she was so focused with what was happening on the screen.

“Maybe there’s only a dark road up ahead. But you still have to believe and keep going. Believe that the stars will light your path, even a little bit.”

Kaori began to play again, the sound of just the violin playing on its own sounding lonely and out of place, especially when he knew there should be a piano playing with it. All they needed was for Kousei to play again. Would he? No excuses, Kaori needed his support, and Levi found himself silently judging Kousei, mentally pushing him to help her, to play, because that was what she needed from him.

”So what was it that you saw in me?”

“But you have me! Look up, and look at me. Look at me.”

Kousei starting to play again was a relief, even if it wasn’t quite right at first. After a bit of inner reflection, some time where they spent listening to the underwater sounds, it all faded away, and a soft scene of a mother and son filled the screen. The mother’s softly sung lullaby was soothing, and as it shifted to a scene of the sky, Levi’s eyes widened at the brilliant beauty it was, the range of color, of blues and whites and even some purples and pinks. How it sparkled and shimmered, stirring up emotions he didn’t know he’d buried somewhere inside him as he suddenly felt small again, curled up in a nest of soft warmth, staring out a small window up towards the sky high above him for the first time, gazing in wonder at the stars and moon that glittered high above him.

Words from one of the many times Y/N had played the piano for him drifted to his mind. How she had perceived her music had struck some kind of chord with him, even if he wasn’t saying anything--even when he realized he had no words to describe what he was feeling listening to her play that single song. He remembered how she’d told him that the point, what made music with her time, was how it could communicate what couldn’t be said with mere words.

The music shifted, and Kousei finally began to play, and the sound was enrapturing. There were no words--it could only be felt, what was happening between the boy at the piano and the girl with the violin.

Could he find a violin in his world? Could he learn to play it, so he could play with Y/N like Kousei played with Kaori? Would they manage to produce something similar, something wonderful like that? What would it feel like? What would the sound between them be? What would it say?

”I can hear your sound.”

So caught up in his thoughts, in the raw emotion and the music that had just enraptured them both, Levi was caught off guard when the mood took another shift.

He tensed, hand gripping the back of the couch a little harder as the sound faded away into an echo as Kaori suddenly collapsed. The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to raise, warning him of something incoming, even though there was no physical threat. He had a bad feeling, suddenly, seeing Kaori’s paler form in the hospital, seeing Kousei’s disbelieving look, the way all of her face wasn’t visible during certain key answers. It put dread inside him over what was happening with her, where this would go. A brief moment of happiness...but what did it mean in the long run? What did it matter, if it was going to be ripped so harshly away, anyway?

“It was everything to you, and you’re trying to rip that away by force. As if you were plucking off your limbs. That’s why it hurts too much for you to bear.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to forget? No, not a chance. Because you and I are living for that moment.”

“I won’t forget. I won’t forget, even if I die.”

“Thank you.”

The mood of the show mellowed drastically, far more serious notes seeping into the air around them as Kousei and those around him were faced with far more serious matters than who liked who, and music competitions. The competitions seemed to be fading into the background, a mere backdrop to the true story.

Ah…

He might be seeing it now.

There was more to this tale than just playing in competitions.

And he had the feeling he was going to be facing some...difficult scenes. Not the kind of gristly scenes of the everyday Underground. The personal, emotional kind. He was already getting flashes of past events, old emotions stirring this early on. What would come next? How deep was this show going to dig to bring out emotions or thoughts he didn’t even know he was keeping buried?

Y/N shifted again, now blatantly sidled up beside him, head leaning slightly to the side, coming to rest very lightly on his shoulder. Levi stilled, pulled entirely from his thoughts, both of them seeming to hold the position to see what the other would do.

She didn’t pull away.

Neither did he.

Her head leaned a little more heavily against his shoulder, and she got more comfortable in her position next to him. Levi relaxed, letting her do as she pleased, silently grateful for the companionable warmth her presence beside him seemed to be offering him, allowing the scarier thoughts to temporarily be soothed and chased away. It helped that the story was shifting towards the more light-hearted as well, as Kaori and Kousei began to prepare for a piano competition.

“Before your fingers touch the keys, you must determine in your mind how you’re going to play it. Why do you play the piano? Is it for your sake? For someone else’s sake? How do you want to play this piece?”

Levi turned his head slightly to look at Y/N, curiosity stirred up in his mind as Kaori grilled Kousei for his mental imagery while he played. “What about you? What do you think of when you play the piano?” he asked her.

“Hm?” she asked, pulled for the first time out of the show as she turned slightly to meet his gaze, surprised by the inquiry. “I...don’t know. It depends on the moment. Usually it’s memories, though. Certain songs make me think of certain people, usually memories with that person. Maybe something I want to do or say to them? I haven’t thought of that much before...usually I just...do it. And I tend to get lost in what I’m doing, too. I guess that’s part of the reason why I haven’t thought of it much before.”

Levi continued to look at her even as she turned her attention back to the show, barely holding back a question that bubbled up inside him.

Have you ever thought of me?

She was teaching him to play the piano, right? What would his mental imagery be when he played?

While Levi got his quick question in and mulled over his own thoughts once more, the mood shifted to something more serious in the show again.

Kaori was worried she was being too pushy, that Kousei might resent him for forcing him into the position he was in, now. That she was being too hard on him. And something that they said resonated with him, because of recent events.

“You’re suffering because of me. I’m sorry.”

Levi saw Y/N in front of him in his mind’s eye. Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched, and she was on the verge of tears after his barbed words expressing how shitty this situation was for him, how it teased him with what he could never have. Did she blame herself, for him being pulled into her world, always around her for a brief while before he was kicked back?

But again, she’d been right. Even if it was brief, that didn’t mean the time he spent here with her was worthless. It still meant something to him, and it still brought him some comfort and, oddly enough, a sense of security. From the very first time they’d met, she’d provided him with somewhere he could truly feel safe and cared for.

“It was you who swept away all the dust. For sweeping away the dust that had collected on my body...thank you. For encountering me.”

The more hints the story dropped about Kaori’s health, the more worried Levi became about the turn this story might take. He was bracing for impact, a small frown on his face as he saw the pile of medicine Kaori was carrying around with her at the competition. Kousei’s musical rivals didn’t register so much with him in the previous two chapters, because he was still so focused on what was happening with Kousei and Kaori.

Y/N had gotten up at one point by now to get a drink, bringing back a water for him to sip on as they continued the story, time passing by without either of their knowledge of just how long they’d been sitting here. Even Levi, usually so much more active, was content to sit here and watch, hardly noticing his inactivity as he drank up every scene, every word, some ringing out through his mind, others falling into place as narrative importance, worry and elation and nostalgia, as well as so much more, all stirred together inside him, Y/N curled up like a kitten at his side, his arm still leaning against the back of the couch, his hand resting softly on her shoulder.

However, while he and Y/N were falling into a position of ease, the story seemed to be starting to shift more to the relationship between Kousei and his mother, and what happened to her. Kaori was getting worse, it seemed, and they were digging into a relationship that felt, in certain ways, similar to what Levi had gone through, and not too long ago, either, now that he was forced to look at it. It made him...uncomfortable, to say the least, but he wasn’t saying anything--he needed to see where this story was headed, with how invested he was at this point. And even if it got personal, he thought he might be able to sit and endure it all the same.

”My mom’s coming from the hospital to see me perform...so you see, in order to make Mom well again, in order to make her happy, I’m gonna play my very best as a gift!”

The first hit actually made him flinch. It was slight, but it was there, and Y/N might have caught it--he wasn’t expecting it, not from the tone, or what had just been discussed, or the way the scene changed so rapidly from the cheers of the audience after little Kousei finished playing his best for his mother to the slap across his face from the ailing woman. He suddenly felt tense, his hand still on Y/N’s shoulder and his expression suddenly unreadable as the hits kept coming, making something dark and angry well up inside him as Kousei was hit hard enough to draw blood against a backdrop of the abuse he’d been suffering the entire time.

Perhaps Y/N hadn’t caught it, because she was flinching as well, and her reaction was far more open on her face, eyes watering with near-tears, a slight shake in her body, and the occasional, shaking breath.

”All I wanted was for you to get better. All I wanted was for you to be happy. And yet...I wish you would just die.”

“That was the last time I said anything to my mom.”

Levi’s grip tightened on Y/N’s shoulder, but neither of them said a word, a grimness in the air as they continued to watch the story in front of them that had started so colorful but was taking a darker turn rather quickly.

Levi scowled slightly at the switch to such an upbeat little song at the sudden end of the chapter, which would be followed by another upbeat song at the beginning of the next.

“These ‘intros’ and ‘outros’ are deceptively cheerful,” Levi criticized.

“What’s a good story without some struggle?” Y/N replied, though she briefly untangled herself from her position at Levi’s side and wiggled off the couch. “Though, I think I’m going to go grab some tissues. I’m starting to think there’s going to be some really sad or heartfelt stuff coming up. Tell me when it’s back on if I’m still missing!” she added before darting away, leaving Levi to sigh quietly to himself and look up at the ceiling, keeping track of the show in front of him as he waited for her to run off and come back with a colorful box, squirming back into place beside him and letting his hand return to her shoulder as she placed the box next to her on the couch, sighing contently.

“The show must go on!” she insisted, face devoid of the strong emotion they’d been sharing just a few moments ago. She settled next to him with a soft sigh, the sight of Kousei struggling at the piano returning where the previous chapter left off.

They watched him struggle against the ghost of his mother, trying to force himself to play through it, to play even though he couldn’t hear, even as the sound grated on them. Watched as he slowly gave up, until he stopped entirely before the song was even over, just like he had with Kaori.

Part of him had expected Kousei to have some kind of revelation just before he quit and push through, but he’d really stopped. Now it just remained to be seen if he could start again. Of course, after his performance with Kaori, they knew he was disqualified. But would he find a reason to play anyway, like she had?

”Even the you that’s here inside me, won’t let me give up. That day, I wonder. What did you play for?”

Levi felt the ghost of her fingers on his again, unaware that he was tapping the keys against the skin of her shoulder at the memory.

Once more, the sound changed as Kousei found his reason to play. The girl who’d changed his world from monotone to color, who dragged him into a whirlwind of life without giving him the chance to think twice about it.

“Just one person matters to me. Only you matter. Thank you...Will it reach her? I hope it reaches her.”

”Your hidden emotions. The you that you’ve never known. The piano drags out everything…”

Levi’s gaze once more was unfocused on the screen as he was swept away in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking back to the times he’d listened to Y/N play. What had he been hearing those days? What would he hear in her playing in the future? If he put enough effort into learning to play as she tried to teach him...could it help him communicate some of the things he struggled to say? It was at least worth giving it a shot.

And he would be sure to pay closer attention in the future to see what he could hear, what he may not be aware of.

The pacing lulled into something more relaxed once more, a brief reprieve after the emotions that were just thrown at them, allowing him and Y/N to talk a bit more, both of them keeping one eye on the subtitles even as they made little comments about what they’d heard so far. The unspoken love triangle? Maybe it was a triangle. The romantic feelings were crisscrossed and all over the place between this group of friends. They commented on their observations about Kousei and Kaori, what they thought was going to become of the two as they watched, whether Kaori or Tsubaki would end up the one with him in the future.

Music was another thing they talked about, obviously. How they wanted to hear Kousei and Kaori play together again--and were excited they had the chance to with the upcoming concert. Y/N also expressed how she loved Chopin pieces, and as a result was happy about how many Chopin pieces were in the show so far and was hoping to hear more. She also mentioned that Love’s Sorrow, the song they were working on now for the concert, was a beautiful piece--mournful, obviously, but beautiful. She even offered to help him learn it when he got more used to the piano if he wanted to.

Levi was a little distracted, though, by the further warning signs that something was going to happen to Kaori. In the same stroke that he contemplated how she had a skill for seeing the beauty in the world, like Y/N tended to do for him, she said something ominous that further solidified a growing suspicion that Levi was keeping in mind.

“You know, I’m not always going to be around to help you.”

As worried about Kaori as that line made Levi for the context of the show, it also reminded him of his own situation with Y/N. He helped when he could, but he was absent so often...and it worked both ways. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself when he was on his own, but Y/N he worried about. What if something serious happened when he wasn’t around to help her? Would she be all right? Would she be able to take care of herself until he could be here to help her?

It was another line that resonated with him, another one that was going to burn in his mind and make him brood over their situation. This show was rife with them, and it had his emotions all over the place, despite his outward calm posture.

He had no way of knowing just how strongly the next chapter was going to hit him.

He was as riled up as Kousei after hearing that smart mouthed kid claim that the music Kaori made was just disastrous noise. If he’d ever heard someone say that about the music Y/N played, he was liable to sock them in the mouth. Honestly, after that comment, he’d thought that the focus was going to be on Kaori again, even with all the recent focus on Kousei’s mother. That misconception was quickly fixed, though, when the chapter began with a flashback to Kousei’s mother and how he became a pianist, further reinforced when Kousei started to play and they were given the first glimpses into his thought process, and what his new mentor--his mother’s old friend--was thinking.

Kousei’s mother’s favorite song, Kousei’s lullaby.

”Would she have played it like this?”

Kousei was curled up against the wall in the darkness of a room with no one else, knees pulled up to his chest, head buried, trying to shut out the world, the woman who’d known and been close to Kousei’s mother finding him in the darkness as Kousei cried out for his mother, for someone to help him, save him. Levi tensed, going completely still beside Y/N with his gaze riveted on the scene in front of him.

”That son of ours is about to bid you a last farewell.”

”Will it reach her?”

Levi’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together as he attempted to keep a lid on the emotions that were trying to rise inside him again.

“After I’m gone, what’s going to become of Kousei? Will he be able to earn a living?”

There was a pressure on his chest making it impossible to breathe and a forceful pain in his throat that was pushing right at the back, like there was something stuck there that wanted to come out but couldn’t, because he wouldn’t let it no matter how much it pushed.

”What a terrible mother. There’s nothing I can leave that boy...”

His breathing ground to a halt except for the barest, shaking whisper through his nose.

“I wish I could’ve stayed with him longer...Will my treasure ever find happiness?”

Eyes fixed on the screen, Levi suddenly felt the overwhelming need to bolt, could feel his fingers and legs twitch like he was about to without warning, but the music was reaching a crescendo, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he might be able to make it through this, even as the pain in his throat and the pressure on his chest seemed to grow more crushing, more painful, so much harder to contain.

”Do you think it reached my mom? The way I played my very best? Do you think it reached Mom?”

“You two are connected, aren’t you? Of course it reached her.”

Kousei broke on screen, and Levi suddenly realized he wasn’t going to make it to the end of the episode. He needed to bolt now or he might shatter.

Levi tapped Y/N on the shoulder to get her to move, not daring to look at her and possible see her a crying mess already at the emotional scene. He gave a brief, “I need to take a shit,” that he managed to get out in a steady voice past the pain in his throat by some miracle, and then stood up, the brief statement her only warning to shift before his movement accidentally dumped her on the ground. He didn’t run to the bathroom, that would be too much of a tell. Instead, he got up calmly and made his way to the bathroom, not hurrying his step until he was out of sight and already halfway up the stairs.

By the time he reached the bathroom, he couldn’t hold it back any further, safely locked behind the bathroom door with the water in the sink running seconds before he finally choked on the feeling in his throat and chest. A strangled sound left him, and he leaned over the sink, trying to catch his breath even as his body tried to make him sob. His breaths hitched painfully, a slight shake in his hands before they clenched the edge of the sink, shoulders hunched and teeth grinding painfully as a soft whine escaped his rigid body.

Y/N was waiting for him. He couldn’t stay up here forever, but he at least had to get ahold of himself before he headed back down there. Out of stubborn determination, Levi tried to gulp in air and steady his breath and hands. Once he had a strong enough hold of his breathing, he cupped his hands under the water and splashed some of it onto his face to help calm himself down.

Only when he felt his composure had returned, Levi dried off his face and hands, then carefully made his way back downstairs, well-aware that the chapter wasn’t even over, and there were still several chapters left--nine, according to Y/N.

A lot could happen in nine chapters.

Levi calmly returned to his seat on the couch, Y/N giving him a quizzical, examining look before she resumed the position they’d been in before resuming the show in the exact spot he’d left--thankfully, it was after Kousei’s breakdown, so he wouldn’t have to see any of that again.

That didn’t, however, mean that he was in the clear. No, now that they had put a neat little bow on Kousei’s struggle with his mental image of his mother, they were moving on to the one who had been concerning Levi since one of the first few episodes.

”There’s an ever present sorrow hanging over Arima’s music...Then it’s a demon’s path he must walk. His growth is spurred by sorrow. If he walks that path, he might have to lose someone to move forward.”

Kaori was in the hospital again, and Levi felt the uneasiness and dread about the direction this show was taking grow substantially. Especially as Kousei ran inside the room and saw Kaori in the exact position his mother had been in. The way this show was starting to dig at some subconscious and deeply buried pains and fears of his that he would rather keep far from the front of his mind, but it kept plodding on, and he felt far too invested now to just leave it where it was. The curiosity and need to know what happened next would eat away at him if he asked Y/N to stop it there--plus, asking that might tip her off that something about it was upsetting him, considering at this point he couldn’t claim he was bored with it.

”You’re gonna be fine, right?”

“I can see you again, right?”

“You won’t leave me like my mom did, right?”

At this point, the focus on Tsubaki and Kousei’s relationship was a much needed break from the reality and darker questions being asked with Kaori and Kousei right now, questions that he had asked himself from time to time regarding Y/N, questions and concerns he didn’t want to think about for his own sanity. What was happening with Tsubaki was more lighthearted, less grim, even if it was confusing and brought up even more questions to ask himself. After all, Tsubaki was being faced with the question of how she felt about Kousei--the boy who had been her friend since they were little, who she was falling in love with no matter how much she tried to deny it, who she had always been beside and wanted to be beside forever.

It made him wonder. He and Y/N were friends--had been for years now. She was there for him during his darkest moments, and he’d been there for some of her scariest moments. Yes, they were friends, but...was it starting to go deeper than that? Did he feel closer to her, somehow?

Her hands had felt warm against his when they played the piano together, pressed against one another with his arms around each other so they wouldn’t get in each other’s way. His skin had tingled where she touched him when she’d taken care of and cleaned him up after that fight. He felt comfortable sitting beside her now, with her leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, despite how borderline intimate it felt.

Had she felt something similar? They hadn’t really looked at each other in these moments--they’d been avoiding looking at each other whenever something like that happened, so he had no idea. Was she aware of just how comfortable he was around her? How different that was for him? Did she have any clue how important she was becoming to him, how big a part of his life she had gradually become despite the very real distance and difference between their two worlds.

This entire time he’d been drawing similarities between them and Kousei and Kaori, when perhaps the comparison should have been with Tsubaki and Kousei.

It sure as hell might make him feel better, considering he was rather sure she had a terminal illness. After growing up in the Underground and with the experiences he had so far, fatal illnesses were something he could spot, especially when there were as many warning signs as there were for Kaori. She only seemed to be getting worse--he was pretty sure she’d been told she was going to die, even though there was no audio for the moment to confirm it. Since the first episode, Kaori had been centered on making an impression, about living on in the memories and hearts of others--she was clearly afraid of disappearing without a trace after she was gone.

Still, amid all the aching and pain, there was still flashes of hope as Kaori struggled against her illness, and more moments that made him think about the relationship between himself and the girl next to him--more damn connections between them and Kousei and Kaori, which did nothing to sooth his nerves and fears he didn’t even know he had.

“Why are the sounds you make so beautiful I think I’m going to cry?”

“That devotion you showed. Her heart had turned grey, and you gave it color.”

Had he managed to give her what she gave him? He felt like he didn’t have anything to give, coming from the dreadful world he did. She was always the one bringing color into his life, had he ever brought color to hers? Would he ever be able to? His world, his life, was ugly and dark and probably tragic. What could he offer her out of that?

”Did I reach him?”

“You don’t have the time to see me.”

“It’s not about time--I want to see you.”

The chapter started so calmly--discussion about the next round of the competition, Kaori continuing her struggle to get better, Tsubaki finally admitting her feelings for Kousei in a way. Levi even made a quip about how Watari and Kaori really needed to stop dragging him along as the awkward extra in their group, practically rubbing it in his face even if it was unintentional. There was even another moment of resonance with something Tsubaki said to Kousei.

“So you won’t lose your way, so you won’t have regrets, I’ll stay by your side forever.”

Still, he should have seen it coming. It shouldn’t have surprised him, considering he was well aware of the cruel shittiness of the world, even if Y/N wasn’t. All this time he’d spent bracing himself with the hints of just how bad Kaori’s illness was, the ominous lines of hers. All the lightheartedness and self-discovery of the past several episodes came crashing down with the emergency with Kaori as, from what Levi could see even though they clearly had far more advanced medicine that Levi knew nothing about, Kaori had some kind of close call, a brush with death, right in front of Kousei. And then with the damn cat getting hit and dying literally moments later, Kousei having to wash the blood off of his hands and breaking down in the wake of everything that was happening. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still ached to see it.

And there were two chapters left. Realistically, he doubted that Kaori was going to recover in two chapters after all this time. By now, he was certain that she was going to die by the end of the story.

She wasn’t even gone yet, and Kousei had already given up. Levi had seen plenty of people reach that point. No fight left, no will to move. Kousei was right back in the position he’d been in at the start, the impending loss of Kaori the final nail in his coffin, his breaking point.

“Why does it have to end up this way? I can’t...go on. No more...I can’t try anymore.”

He hadn’t hit his breaking point--he hoped he never reached that point. But he was sure even he had one, even if he wasn’t sure where his limit was.

Levi blinked at the white fluttering from the sky on screen. A novel sight he couldn’t ignore or just accept. Snow, Kaori called it.

So that was what it looked like. One of the many things he’d heard about but hadn’t seen…

“Have you seen snow before, Levi? Since you live Underground,” Y/N suddenly asked from where she was curled up into his side, head turned to look at him curiously. Levi shook his head no, and she hummed. “You’ll have to show up some time in the winter so I can show you all kinds of awesome things you can do when it snows. It’s cold, but it’s fun. And everything looks so clean and pure...my favorite things are the trees encapsulated in ice,” she said with a wistful sigh, eventually quieting down as the scene on the screen continued to develop.

Maybe one day. But he would have to come through not only when it was winter, but on a day that there was snow, and he had no control over when he blipped over into her world.

Blipped, blip...her word for when Levi flickered into and out of her world. Clearly, it had caught on even in his mind.

“The people I care about keep leaving me...I’m going to be left all alone.”

Inwardly, Levi felt himself flinch, and that desire to bolt was trying to rear its head again, the desire for her to shut it off and spare him these comments that kept digging into the darker corners of himself, the weakness he kept hidden away for no one to see.

“But you have me. But you have me.”

For the first time, Levi felt Y/N’s hand give his little squeeze on his knee as Kaori repeated her sentiment to Kousei.

Perhaps the feelings were mutual. Maybe he wasn’t the only one drowning in emotions on the inside and drawing parallels while they watched this show, if she was giving him a little squeeze after those words. After he registered that he had felt it, and he hadn’t imagined it, he gave her shoulder a small squeeze in return.

“I’m going to struggle as hard as I can. Struggle, struggle, struggle, like there’s no tomorrow.”

“You gave me this desire to cling to the time that I spent with you. Aren’t you going to struggle to? We’re so good at struggling.”

Hell if that wasn’t the story of his life so far, right there.

Collectively, the two of them held their breath, watching as, after Kousei declared how useless it was for him to even try to play in the state he was in right now, Kaori got to her feet on her own, and the sound of the violin softly flickered towards them from the screen. It was like the music was from a dream, her imaginary violin ethereal, Kaori lit up by a flurry of snow as she played to a crescendo and smiled at Kousei.

“See, miracles can happen just like that.”

Shaking, legs trembling, sweating, collapsed into Kousei’s arms with a breathless laugh, clinging to him like a source of comfort. It wasn’t her reciting of the things she knew about Kousei, or what she wished she knew, that drew a response from him, but her heartfelt pleas with Kousei as he held her in her arms.

“I’m scared. I’m scared! Don’t leave me all alone!”

That was why it was familiar. That was how Y/N had held him when…

And perhaps the reason he’d lashed out when he’d found out about how fleeting this world was for him had been because…

Levi shifted, and it was only when Y/N started to pull away did he realize he’d been shifting to get up and walk away, to bolt. When she fixed him with that questioning look again, not-yet-spilled tears in her eyes from the emotion of the scene, her hand still fisted in his shirt, it brought him back to what was happening in the present, and he shook his head as if to dismiss the movement as he sat back down, relieved when the scene changed again.

Considering it was going to the competition and Kaori’s surgery at the same time, he doubted he was going to get much of a reprieve before the emotions hit again. Kousei was still a mess, though it was a miracle he’d at least shown up to the competition, but even watching him was worrisome, wondering if he was going to break at the piano again after all this progress he’d made throughout the show, everyone watching in concern in the show and on the couch.

“I made you remember something you don’t want to remember…”

“I won’t forget, even if I die…”

“You can just forget about it all, like you’ve pressed the reset button…”

“I guess maybe we never should've met, huh?”

Levi had to close his eyes for a moment after that one, sucking in a sharp breath. It was like it had come right out of his denial of their entire situation, how angry he’d been, the pain it had caused, how for a few moments, he’d felt like it would have been better if he could forget it all, if they had never met, because then he wouldn’t know about what he could never have. His heart ached painfully, the words reverberating not in his mind, but in his bones as the pain in his throat already seemed to be returning.

He opened his eyes, and on screen, Kousei started to break down again, face in his hands, on the brink of tears seated at the piano, on stage in front of everyone once again.

Tsubaki sneezed, and after a few moments of reflecting, after realizing how many people he knew were there...Kousei finally began to play, the notes reverberating deep inside his chest in a full, resonating sound. Something about it made him nostalgic, but also so...it was so…

“Bursting with such mournful color.”

The chapter suddenly came to an end mid performance, which startled Levi--especially when Y/N darted forward so suddenly to grab the remote and quickly jump to the next one, immediately snapping back into his side, clutching to his clothes like her life depended on it, curled into a ball as he realized for the first time that tissue box was suddenly right in front of her, easily accessible.

The last episode.

Considering the set-up, neither of them were going to get through this last part unscathed emotionally.

It started from the beginning of the piece this time, the commentary being made by the onlookers and Kousei different this time, centered entirely on Kousei after the very beginning. Levi and Y/N were both enraptured by the performance though, holding to one another on the couch with gazes fixed forward, completely still, even their breathing slight as they paid full attention to every word, and let the music pull them in deeper into the emotional symphony Kousei was creating with just the piano.

“I’m so scared...Somebody…”

“But you have me.”

“I’m not alone. From the moment that we meet someone else, none of us can ever be alone. We’re all connected.”

Levi’s grip tightened slightly on Y/N’s shoulder again, and he felt her grip tighten in return.

“Don’t leave me all alone.”

“Dummy, you have me.”

“Inside me...you exist.”

Y/N nuzzled into his side like a cat, and he thought he felt his shirt starting to get damp. He ignored it, keeping his grip on her firm and steady, staying still beneath her as he stared stalwartly at the screen, even as the emotions were starting to stir violently around inside him.

”No way am I going to leave you all alone. Reach her. Reach her. Reach her. Reach her.”

The scenery changed entirely, like Kousei was playing in the sky amid a shower of colors, floating around like leaves that autumn day when he and Y/N had jumped into the piles and sent them scattering into the air. Kaori’s whispered ‘Thank you’ as Kousei carried her back down the stairs sent a shiver down his spine, especially when Kousei of the present reacted, and turned his head to see Kaori materializing beside him, violin in hand.

Beside him, there was suddenly a whine from Y/N, and a rather large sniffle, as well as that damp feeling on his clothes starting to spread. She trembled slightly beneath his arm and hand, and he realized she was starting to cry rather heavily, her face partially buried in his side.

The music was jarring, disorienting, suddenly intense and tragic as Kousei closed his eyes, barely holding back tears.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

And there it was.

Kaori’s rich violin playing joined into Kousei’s suddenly mournful and tragic playing, and Levi realized that they were witnessing the last time the two would get to play together. It couldn’t happen again in body, but at least in spirit. Words weren’t needed for this moment. Nothing was said between the characters on the screen, and not a word was spoken between Levi and Y/N. She was continuing to cry into his side, with Levi starting to semi-awkwardly rub her shoulder to try and comfort her even as his own heart seemed to be pounding painfully at the sight in front of him, every note piercing him deeper than he thought possible with the raw emotion behind and pure weight of this single moment. All there was at this moment in time, was him, Y/N, and the music being created on the stage in front of them between Kaori and Kousei, one last time.

A sob broke past Y/N’s control as the colorful day turned into a rich night, and Kaori stopped playing. Levi held his breath, watching as transfixed on the scene as Kousei was transfixed on Kaori, the music softening for the briefest moment before it started to turn slow, mournful, and tragic again.

”Wait...please don’t go!”

As Kousei started to beg Kaori to do all of these things with him again, good and bad, Levi felt the pressure on his chest return, the burn in his eyes and the clench in his jaw, the pain in his throat. Memories of his own were flickering before his eyes in place of what Kousei begged of Kaori.

A small hand offering a still-warm roll. A splash of cool water to the face with shrieks and giggles filling the air. The security of being able to lean comfortably against a warm back with the sun shining down from above, hands gripping his legs and his arms wrapped around the girl who carried him home on her back. The cool taste of ice cream as they leaned against the brick store. A gentle hand rubbing soft circles on his back as he slipped in and out of lucid thought in his feverish state. The sound of hope amid darkness that they managed to create together despite his crude piano playing. Her hand even now clenched tightly in his shirt seeking comfort, like when he’d led her home in the dark through the desert.

His hand was stretched out before him, pulled along by the girl that suddenly disappeared when he closed his eyes. He tried to reach a little further, as if his fingertips could press past some veil between his world and hers, so he could reach her even for another moment. The warmth and the softness of the comfort she wrapped him in evaporated into smoke between his fingers, disappearing in translucent curls, leaving him with nothing to hold, the weight of her presence suddenly disappearing.

What if one day he didn’t come back?

What if one day it all just...ended? Without any warning? The only sign that he would never return the passage of time and gradual loss of hope?

“Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t leave me behind!”

Y/N was sobbing openly into his side now, but she didn’t move to stop the show--she kept watching it. Levi was unaware of the fact that his hand was shaking against her shoulder, all of his effort on keeping the emotions bottled inside him as he watched Kaori disappear before Kousei’s eyes in a flurry of petals, swept away by an indifferent wind.

The rest of the last chapter seemed to pass by in a blur, Levi spending most of that time trying to work his way down from the emotions that scene had stirred up in him, glancing over at Y/N to see a collection of tissues around her while her gaze remained fixed forward, still a blubbering mess over the events that were unfolding on screen. Shards of Kaori’s letter made it through to Levi, certain fragments sticking with him in the moment, others slowly settling in likely to make an impact on him later.

“I want Kousei to play the piano for me!”

He understood that sentiment. He loved listening to Y/N play for him, it was one of the many reasons why he brought it up so often. Sure, it was nice she was trying to teach him to play, but the true moment of enjoyment for him was when she played for him.

“Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?”

“None of it was trivial.”

No, none of it was. From playing card games in her room to playing tag on the playground, or eating frozen treats on the steps while they played simple games with their hands. Every little moment was one Levi kept stored away, a secret trove of memories just for him and her, something bright and...something that the Underground couldn’t corrupt, because it couldn’t reach or touch this world or the girl at his side.

“Was I able to live inside your heart? Do you think you’ll remember me at least a little? You better not hit reset. Don’t forget me, okay? That’s a promise, okay? I’m glad it’s you, after all.”

Like Y/N said, just because the moments were fleeting, didn’t mean they didn’t matter. Even if they stopped one day, for whatever reason...at least he would have everything that had come before, the memories, the moments that nothing could take away. He didn’t think she would want him to try and forget, anyway. And a part of him wouldn’t want her to forget him, either. Unlike everything else in his life so far, he wanted this good thing to last, one way or another.

“Will I reach you? I hope I can reach you.”

This time, when his mind procured the image of his hand outstretched in front of him, trying to catch the disappearing back of the girl in front of him, fingers finding nothing but air, he let his hand squeeze slightly against Y/N’s shoulder once more, reminding himself she was right here in his arms right now, and not to take that for granted. Maybe sometimes she’d be out of reach, but right now, she was right here. She wasn’t always out of reach. He’d just have to make each moment he was here count for something.

Thankfully, she already seemed pretty good at making that happen, so he felt like he wouldn’t have to worry about it too much. She was always taking him by the hand to have him run with her wherever she wanted to go and explore, and so far, she hadn’t made him regret following her on her little adventures.

She made his life colorful.

“Thank you for being my friend, Levi.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea

Through The Looking Glass Tags: @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife @sanrioclit

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Puzzleship JP & KR Fancomic Recommendation List

UPDATE (19-12-2020): Added two more artists and two more titles on the Japanese lists!

I don’t consider myself as someone very tidy and organized, but I just like making lists of the things I love, somehow. Hence this post. I haven’t been in the fandom for long but I thought I’d share some of my favorites primarily from two sites: pixiv and postype. Most of the postype ones are behind paywall, and I will mark them differently.

Some of my favorites come from the same artists, so I’ll also link their pixiv profile on top of my favorite work of them.

(I actually bookmarked a lot and picking them isn’t an easy task, so I will update this step by step. If you see only a link of an artist, that’s the reason, but I can guarantee you will love their works! Feel free to recommend me yours through reblogs or DM as well!)

Japanese

Artist: CYHGM

She is a Chinese and is more active on Weibo (she posted tons of puzzleship there, but my Mandarin is beyond rusty so I could only cry in despair lmao), but she has two fancomics that I absolutely adore of. Those two mentioned fancomics are:

The Past and The Future. You can check my translation for this one here. It tells about Atem who gets transported to 3000 years later before his coronation, and that’s where he met post-canon!Yugi. Just... everything about this comic is so wonderful. I teared up at the last page, not gonna lie ;_;

The Pharaoh and The Fairy: An Ancient Egypt-slash-fantasy AU featuring the S0/TOEI casts. The fairy Yugi was saved by Atem, and it’s an obligatory for fairies to grant their savior’s wishes. However, Atem doesn’t exactly have something he wants of, and this confuses Yugi on how he should repay him back. Pure undiluted sugar, and fairy!Yugi is just so cute.

Artist: Fushitas

Arguably one of the most popular Puzzleship fanartists in the JP fandom (look at their number of followers on Twitter, man), but maybe it’s also due to the fact they were in AoT fandom too. They’re mostly active on Twitter, and if you also watch Zexal, they draw tons of Yuma-centric pairings too. They have released lots of books, and their prices on the reseller sites are... well, let’s just say, unbelievable. Just to show how famous they are.

From everlasting to everlasting: Set after DSOD. A mysterious figure appears in front of Atem, claiming to be his queen. Everyone in the after life somehow acknowledges this person, which makes him even more confused because he’s the only one unaware of this. On the living realm, Yugi who is on the way to his home got hit by a truck (isekai much??) and when he woke up, he suddenly plays the role of Atem’s queen. I’ve always adored Fushitas’ drawing, and this is no exception. The story is pretty simple, but is still good! The ending of this comic is everything I’ve always wanted from the canon lol.

The King’s Guest: Ancient Egypt AU. The councils are starting to get worried because Atem shows no interest in marrying someone, so Shimon opens up a “chance” sort of for civilians to become “someone for the Pharaoh to talk with”. The civilian Yugi takes this chance right off the bat, and stuff happens? This one is just so sweet and the misunderstanding later in the story kinda cracks me up. I really love the way they build the two’s chemistry in here.

Artist: usi

They only draw two puzzleship fancomics, but both are so good and explores the themes I’ve loved from the pairing.

The Lotus’ Devil: Set post-canon with a flashback. It tells about Yugi’s regret in the past where he wanted to show Atem a small pool supposed to be full of lotus flower only to arrive seeing them not blooming. Fast forward to the post-canon, he found out that there’s actually a monster residing on that pool. I really, really loved the ending scene of this one.

Who’s The Detestable, Fortunate Guy Here: I think this is set sometime in the canon story, although the exact timing is unclear. It’s a short comic of Yugi asking Atem to pretend to be his date and go on a “dating practice”. A very pleasant hurt-and-comfort kind of story, and who doesn’t love a story of them dating anyways? :”D

Artist: Houzuki Anzu

She doesn’t draw much YGO, but she has some Arc-V and 5D’s fanarts too if you watch the series!

Hourglass: Sets after the Memory World arc. Yugi keeps hearing a strange sound inside his mind, and he finds out there’s a huge hourglass standing there, guarded by the will of Millenium Puzzle. Apparently, the hourglass is linked to Atem’s remaining time in the living realm? Anyways, the ending of this comic might look like a cliffhanger, but I personally think it isn’t. I love the theme this comic picks to explore and the way it is presented.

Present: Same setting with Hourglass, but this one focuses more on Atem sorting out his feelings about the Ceremonial Duel and what he has learned from Yugi in general. It’s a very nice extra detail that the canon slightly lacks of, and I just love... bittersweet stuff in general haha.

Artist: Chiriko

Are you the type who wants puzzleship to be full of happiness and fluff and nothing else? Well, she has a number of comics to fill that need! I actually love all of her works, but if I have to pick, these two are my favorite:

...Don’t Ever Leave Me Again: A short story about Yugi having a nightmare of where he was stuck in the fire accident at Otogi’s store. Well... this isn’t a fluff sort of, but it’s... a happy ending still? /shot

[Untitled]: A dialogue-less comic, but this is the sort of post-canon what-if that I really, really like. Atem stroking Yugi’s face while sleeping is just... so soft man....

Artist: Komori Nea

Their art style was one of those that’s very noticeable and has a certain charm on it. They are pretty active on Twitter, and even draws puzzle comics once in a while that haven’t been uploaded to pixiv (which is why I recommend you to check their twitter gallery too haha)

The Soul Stays Awake: Post!DSOD. Atem comes back from afterlife in hoping that Yugi would be as happy as he is, but months after, Atem’s existence still hasn’t been registered on Yugi’s life just yet. Another post!DSOD take that I like which involves the fear of another farewell and uncertainty, but this is a good hurt-and-comfort. I swear, it’ll hurt you just... for a while. :”)

The Attack’s Aim: Set during the canon series. A short comic mostly portraying Yugi’s hidden strength but also the tenacity of duelist that is not only targeted toward the opponent, but also to Atem, without the person actually noticing it. The last page of this one is so... soft and gentle I had to put it into this list.

Artist: caf

Often draw with S0/TOEI style, characters and characterization in mind. Their coloring in illustrations is so soft, plus artists who specialize in S0/TOEI style can’t be found so easily. Their comic style is not a manga-like one and they write the dialogues with handwriting, but if you can read hiragana and write and understand how kanji works (so you can write it on translation machine), their comics are easy to understand!

magenta: S0/TOEI AU where Yugi and Atem are two separate person. A short comic of Yugi lying under the rain as Atem searches for his whereabouts. I really love the way they portray the rain and the atmosphere surrounding the scene. Or maybe I’m just biased with rains in general, ahahaha.

Yuugi and Mao’s Stay Home: Same AU as above. Our two boys has to face the same shit we do IRL in this comic, which is quarantine. Atem offers to cook something for Yugi since he can’t eat outside. You love seeing Yugi eating stuff? This is a perfect comic for y’all.

Artist: Kkyut

Artist: Kayu(i)

Others:

Gemini: As Atem comes back to the living world, Yugi faces the dilemma of having being separated by “his other self” physically and mentally. A short comic, but the lines the artist used are so... beautiful. Like, the way they describe Yugi’s loneliness?? Just hits the park so much.

Until The Hourglass Runs Out: Set after the Memory World Arc. As their farewell day goes closer, Yugi decides to give Atem a full control of his body at school so he could spend his time with Jounouchi and the gang more. However, things don’t go as smooth as Yugi had expected. If you like that little teeny weeny pain before the Ceremonial Duel, this comic perfectly suits the taste.

see you sometime: Post-canon. Mahaad offers Atem a chance to meet Yugi in the living realm one more time, but with several conditions. Firstly, he could only stay for a day at maximum. Secondly, Yugi won’t be able to remember who he spent his time with after Atem hangs out with him. Thirdly, Yugi will not be able to “recognize” this Atem; he will only be registered in Yugi’s mind as a new classmate. A bittersweet comic in whole, but seeing the two having fun like a normal teenager would just makes me grin.

After The Rain: A dialogue-less comic, so everyone would be able to read this right away. A short comic of the two, but still very cute and wholesome!

The Tropics of Horus: Post!DSOD, Atem has to chase Kisara who lingers around Kaiba’s soul and he needs Yugi’s help to bring Kisara back to afterlife, but he has his own ulterior motive. This manga is so dialogue-heavy and might be hard to dissect especially if you don’t understand JP grammar and context, but the time spent trying to understand the meaning behind every words will be worth it. That much I guarantee. Just... everything about this comic, and how Atem’s “ulterior motive” connects to our boys’ adventure in canon series are so well planned. You can also purchase the R18 version in a form of the book here (toranoana)

Christmas Day: S0/TOEI puzzleship hint (dark puzzle???). There’s something in store for Yugi in Christmas, but this one might surprise Yugi a lot. It’s not that the prompt of “Atem gets separated from Yugi temporarily” is uncommon, but it is still a sweet one and makes you smile throughout the pages.

Korean

All titles mentioned here are not free unless mentioned otherwise. Also I don’t understand Korean except being able to read Yugi and Atem’s name, so my story interpretation might be wrong. If you understand Korean, I’d really love for you input! ;_;

You can check out on how to buy comics from postype here

Yugi’s 2020 Birthday Anthology: Rain and After End

This is an anthology consisting of four titles, but they share the same (or similar) setting where Atem is reincarnated, but he doesn’t remember his past (or has not yet, depending on how the story portrays it). Some are age-gap (adult!Yugi and high school student!Atem), so you might want to consider that if it’s not your cup of tea.

To Like Someone is to...: Age-gap setting. Mostly tells about how Yugi deals with his feeling as the reincarnated Atem in front of him turns out to have a feeling on him. I like how the story’s conclusion is that Yugi will sort it out slowly while also teasing Atem how he’s “too early” to date Yugi w.

In A Circle: A story about how the two met through an online chess game. Iirc Yugi works in a game company and Atem is sort of a famous e-sports player in this setting. There’s a lot of dialogue in this one and the app sometimes can’t process them very well, but I liked what I can understand from it! not very convincing is it haha i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done this

Familiarity: Age-gap setting, where Yugi becomes Atem’s caretaker. The comic mostly focuses on how Atem notices how kind (or too kind) Yugi is sometimes, but there are times where he feels distant. The plot where Atem gets into a fight with the other kid in his school because the kid mocks Yugi, and how Yugi just... accepts it even when Atem doesn’t want to say his reason of punching the kid is just.... god... I love this kind of age-gap setting like this I guess ;_;

Touchdown: Age-gap setting, but Atem is older in here (university student). The two goes to Atem’s university festival and they think about their own feeling when they got separated. On their way to drop Atem off, he confesses to Yugi, but Yugi is still unsure on his overlapping feeling between the reincarnated Atem and the Atem he knows. Make sure you play Motohiro Hata’s Rain and Aimer’s After Rain during the car scene to make the “rain” mood works even better :”)

Others:

Try For Point: A continuation of Touchdown, where Atem (like, the one from the past) visits Yugi in his dream and helps Yugi in sorting out is his feeling toward his reincarnated self. Atem’s advice is so sweet and there’s one certain line from this comic that I remember very deeply - there’s a part where he says, “If you don’t pull out the card, you won’t know what card it is, right?” to help Yugi clearing out his hesitancy ;w; at this point, I curse myself for not being able to understand Korean

#puzzleshipping #blindshipping #ygo #im sorry if i can't make a precise description...#will be updated regularly as i scan through my bulky bookmarks

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rawr-mortgage · 3 years ago

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Watch me praise the heck out of Jujutsu Kaisen despite starting only two nights ago and only being on EP 12 so far

Jokes aside, Jujutsu Kaisen is turning out to be one of the best anime series i've ever watched and quite possibly, one of the best animes of the coming decade???

Plot is actually interesting to theorize about and to see it play out. The main goal of our protagonist, Itadori, is to find and harvest all of Sukuna's fingers for him to consume and house the whole version of Sukuna's soul just for the Sorcerers to kill him once he finally does in order to vanquish and be rid of one of the most powerful cursed entities in existence. That's insane. That's a hella good main plot. Itadori's basically just a lamb being cared and fed for until he eventually has to be led to the slaughter. And he's aware of it and completely accepts it cuz being the only person in the world who's able to control Sukuna as his vessel, he thinks it would be selfish of him not to do it, to not willingly sacrifice himself and help other people remove this evil entity from the world at the expense of his own life.

Initially, he wanted to do good becuz he wanted to honor the fateful last words of his grandfather, who outright told him he's meant to help and save other people becuz he was gifted with outstanding physical capabilities and he should put it to good use. But then, he's told that if he's only engaging with the cursed spirit world becuz of his grandfather's wishes, he'll eventually start to resent his grandfather and blame him for all the pain he has to endure and the sacrifices he'll make being involved with dangerous and malevolent beings that'll stop at nothing to kill him in order to harbor Sukuna's powers for themselves, until he reaches the point where he's laying on his deathbed filled with regret and cursing his grandpapi to the depths of hell.

Having realized this, your boi makes his own resolve to dabble in the spirit world on his own terms and fight for defenseless people who are unaware of the inhuman dangers that lurk the earth becuz Itadori actually has a strong sense of justice and believes people get what they deserve, but no one is horrible enough to deserve suffering and death at the hands of cursed spirits.

I'm usually indifferent to shonen MCs cuz they typically follow the same format when it comes to their characterization. Your typical guy next door who's friendly, outgoing, kind of an airhead, gets flustered around girls, doesn't get much attention from the people around him, feels inferior and has a rivalry going on with the 2nd male lead, all smiles and sunshine and sickeningly nice, yada yada yada. All in all, just flat out BORING.

I'm running out of words so I'll stop here, I don't think I need to comment on the animation cuz no amount of praise or blubbering on my end can justify how beautiful and exquisite the animation is. Let's just say I now see why some AoT fans went on a rampage and claimed MAPPA was playing favorites with JJK cuz the animation on this series is sensational enough to make any other series jealous along with its fanbase (not that I'm saying the accusations were true and that I condone the hate that the studio was subjected to. like wtf, people who harass the folks that work their asses off to bring you god-level quality entertainment don't deserve anime).

Surprisingly enough, the sentiment doesn't ring true when it comes to Itadori. Even tho he shares a few generic character traits with other shonen MCs, I actually really like him and he isn't a bore to watch and follow around as the story progresses and I'm honestly just questioning what makes him different from all the other MCs and why can't every other shonen protagonist be likable and interesting enough to not turn me into a goat becuz they always make me go: meh.

I also really like the non-linear narrative JJK has going on. It actually has the potential to be quite off-putting since not a lot of animes do that sort of thing (at least I can't think of any at the top of my head), but they execute it well and do it in moderation to effectively steer it away from being too jarring. I think it's a great method for avoiding potential info dumps and filler episodes and other manga authors should deploy this technique more often cuz it's a great switch-up, storytelling-wise.

The narrative is also somewhat fast-paced, bordering on neck-break speed on some occasions, and I don't mind honestly. Don't you just hate it when the story goes full-on snail mode where every episode feels like a chore to finish and not at all like it has a 23 minute time constraint? Yea, completely throws enjoyability out the window. There hasn't been a dull moment yet in my experience, and how quickly everything plays out just encourages you to pay utmost attention and keep your eyes completely glued to the screen so to not miss any of the epicness happening before your eyes.

The soundtrack has no business being this fucking amazing. You might think I'm being nitpicky and actively looking out for things to criticize the animes that I watch on, but no, most times I don't even pay attention to all that or miss the quality of those elements entirely cuz it's too subtle of a detail for me to notice. But here, it just enhances the experience so much and compliments what's happening on-screen so well that it's hard not to take notice and feel so fucking appreciative of the awesome background music that gets you properly hyped while watching the fight scenes and lending the ambience for the milder and more emotional scenes.

Might make follow-up reviews in the future, who knows. Still haven't finished it like I said and I have a lot of thoughts on the other characters, if I feel like ranting about it, rest assured I definitely will lol.

#more under the cut to prevent dash crowding #anime review #jjk thoughts #jujutsu kaisen #i am all praise #itadori yuji is best mc #personal opinion #mappa is killing it #bless mappa #this is fucking fantastic

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clarionglass · 4 years ago

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tagged by @dheiress to post the first line of my last 20 fics (thank you! <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 other authors!

aight my lads here we go, there’s going to be a few unpublished wips and other piece of dubious writing in here bc i doubt i have 20 stories but anyway, here we go (this is very long! press j to skip or just get that dash scrollin bc this might take a while :// ) in very rough chronological order going backwards, starting with the published work:

1. so i ran to the river (tma grifters au, unpublished yet but will be soon!): The sunlight feels different on a face fresh out of prison, and it feels even better to Jonathan Sims now that he’s truly home.

2. crowned by an overture bold and beyond (tma pretentious college au, based loosely on the secret history): It was a cool, rainy day in late March when I first approached the Magnus Institute--one of those days that served as a reminder that the London spring, that fragile creature, was still all too vulnerable to the occasional strike from the claws of winter.

3. we should ride this wave to shore (tma chatfic where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts): Friday, 3:14 P.M. “archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god.

4. i am the maker of rules (dealing with fools) (tma chatfic, an elias-and-peter-focused accompaniment to wsrtwts): Monday, 7:39 P.M. Elias Bouchard to Peter Lukas Elias Bouchard: Peter, I need to talk to you. Elias Bouchard: I’ve had the most infuriating day at work.

5. An Optimistic Tragedy (good omens orchestra au that i swear to god i’ll finish one day): Three years ago Eve shifted in her chair, her mind clearly on things other than Milhaud and the music in front of her.

6. The Spaces Between the Stars (the Beast of a dw fic that i can’t even begin to describe; a mate and i have been working on this since 2015 and it’s a sprawling mass of writing that encompasses Many google docs--what’s on ao3 atm is a very small percentage of it,,,,): The Doctor clutched the TARDIS railing as if somehow, it could take the pain away.

7. Carol of the Bells (a chrismas chatfic companion to aot! i’ve always been a sucker for a chatfic but oof looking back on this one my formatting style sure has changed): [Friday December 13, 1:31am] Anthony Crowley to Angelface: u up? ;)

8. An Exploration into The Nature of Human Beings, sub. Homo Sapiens: A Research Paper by Milton Jones (british comedy rpf. this is my oldest piece on ao3 and it shows, but there’s a special place in my heart for this dorky lil fic about an alien researcher making a place for himself in british comedy. fun fact! i actually added the final three sentences to this a couple of days ago, and will post it when i do my next fic update): <<I knew you’d be down here, as per usual. Do you never stop working?>>

and now for the stuff that i like but hasn’t yet/will never/one day, if i get my act together, might be posted to ao3... please ask me about these bc i love them, even though i’ll probably never post them :)

9. untitled mitchell spy comedy (a show that @monimolimnion and i want to pitch to the bbc in which david mitchell and victoria coren mitchell are married spies who work for MI5 and MI6 respectively, and most of britcom pops up in one place or another. it’s nothing more than a Lot of planning and a few snippets, but i love returning to this doc): [David is sitting at his desk, shaking his head at an open file.] David: They’re taking the piss. That’s what they’re doing, they’re taking the piss.

10. In the Demonic Style (a good omens au of @teashoesandhair’s glorious smooching contest piece, which is the first piece of fiction writing in the reblog chain. i’ve promised a chapter 2 to this, which i’m halfway through, and feel incredibly guilty for not finishing. still, my quarter-year’s resolution is to finish something old whenever i post something new, so maybe it’ll get done soon!): “It’s the end of the world” was not a good statement with which to start one’s morning in any circumstances, but the angel Bryndael was in the middle of cataloguing his newest shipment of tea samples when said statement reached his ears, and he didn’t much appreciate being disturbed.

11. magpie (good omens canon-mostly-compliant fic based around the song magpie by the unthanks/the magpie folk song/nursery rhyme): Wednesday (approximately 11 years before the end of the world) From a bird’s-eye view, St James’s Park was beautiful at this time of year.

12. untitled ficlet for tales of dwrwedd (a present for my writing buddy! the link is to her fic, i just wrote a bit of her two witcherverse ocs being soft as hell): The two women seated by the hearth didn't look old, either of them. But there was something about the pair--in their movements, or their mannerisms--that suggested an age far beyond what their unlined faces would suggest.

13: Tempo d’Attacco (an original bit of Light Crime a la midsomer murders, set in a university music department that is naturally a thinly-veiled copy of my own, hence why it will never ever be posted anywhere. i wrote this for my supervisor at the end of honours (her character is the sleuth) :P ) Dr Marisa Tan didn’t exactly start her morning well, on the day that everything seemed to upend itself.

patterns...... i’m not seeing that many, tbh? idk if i could call this in media res, but there’s certainly a good bit of plot starting without heaps of setup.

my favourite? hmmmmmm i’d say my favourites would be crowned by an overture bold and beyond, and in the demonic style. i gotta say, going back to revisit a lot of my older writing has been nice! time and distance have been v kind :)

i’m hella bad at tagging things so if you see this and want to share your own writing please go ahead! i’m very shy when it comes to Fandom Interaction (tm) so i don’t feel comfortable launching myself into people’s notes (i loved this tho! i just need other people to make the first move lol), however i will give a specific shoutout to @monimolimnion whose writing i adore and who needs to do this!

#clari speaks #clari writes #long post

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kenmascatears · 4 years ago

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nobody asked because nobody is ever in my inbox but here are my predictions for how aot will end (as well as little random thoughts) spoilers for the aot manga

+ predictions

- eren’s gonna die and the titan will go to historia’s baby.

on the wikia page for ‘the paths’ it says “The idea of paths came from noticing that the Nine Titans are sent to a random baby among the Subjects of Ymir, regardless of distance or blood relations, if they die without being eaten.”

i find it pretty hard to believe that eren will die by being eaten (plus his current status is unknown so he might be dead already). in 132 we saw historia in labor but she hasn’t given birth yet - making me think she’ll give birth and then eren will die and the titans he’s in possession of will get sent to historia’s baby.

- i don’t think levi will die. if levi dies he needs a proper death and i don’t think isayama can do that in the remaining two chapters. also, him living will be fitting for his character because it’ll be an eternal punishment (until death) type beat. he’s destined to be alone. he’s been alone his whole life - everyone dear to him has died or left so it seems fitting that he will survive and have to continue to be alone instead of being reunited with him.

+ onto my little mind thoughts

- i just want to know if eren is seeing more memories rn (assuming he’s not dead already) since he’s been at the coordinates for a while

- how the first chapter is “To You, 2,000 Years From Now” made me think for a second that this whole series is a founding/attack titan in the future seeing memories of eren

- back to the baby theory. isayama also keeps showing a random subject of ymir baby in 134...maybe related to the paths?? it would be so weird if that happens with the random baby because the baby literally adds nothing to the plot but also would kinda make sense? isayama does do a lot of random foreshadowing so while this is a major reach on my part it also might not be. idk, there’s only 2 chapters left so i feel like he couldn’t pull that off but he might be able to pull off historia’s baby getting erens titan.

#fern.speaks

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bangtan-madi · 5 years ago

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Can I have headcanons of Juju on the AOT world? 👀👀👀 Would he be similar to Erwin? 💔 Thanks!!

First off! A couple things to note:

Oh my Sina! This is such an amazing idea. I usually don’t do cross-overs, but this one is just so fantastic that I had to do it!

Jumin in the world of Attack on Titan would be so, so interesting. I’m going to pretend that he’s been a character in AoT since the beginning, and am not going to write these headcanons as if he’s been dropped into AoT from MysMe.

However, I am going to try to maintain his personality and life as far as we know in MysMe, only transferring those into the world of AoT. Keep in mind that I have not completed his route yet, so keep that in mind. Along with the fact that this is my interpretation lol.

BTW, I had such a fun time writing this! Please, for the love of the Walls, please request more like this! I am so excited to see what the other characters might be like, so spam my Askbox!

Due to his wealth and status, I definitely think Jumin grew up inside Wall Sina with the other elites. Unlike a lot of the other citizens of the Walls, Jumin never knew the fear of the titans or the hunger of the famine. The only times he ever heard of such things were from members of the Military Police.

I see his father being a high-ranking MP, probably pretty close to the Commander. His mother was probably a noble that died in childbirth. As such, and to keep with MysMe canon, Jumin’s father definitely routinely visited the Underground for his “lady friends.”

Everyone in the world of AoT is hardened and cruel, and that includes citizens of Wall Sina. I don’t think Jumin’s father would have been as loving as he was in MysMe, and that affected Jumin fro a young age. Even more so, I think that Jumin’s father–being Korean–would be even crueler just to survive inside the inner wall. So-called “Orientals” were outcasts, so to overcome that, Jumin’s father would have to be stone-cold.

Elizabeth the 3rd isn’t a purebred cat. Though still a white cat, I think Jumin would’ve found her as a kitten, wandering behind his father’s manner, probably begging for scraps. His father never noticed that Jumin sneaked the tiny creature into his room, nor did he care about the scraps of meat that went missing. She was Jumin’s only true friend throughout his childhood.

Despite his connection to the MPs through his father, I don’t think Jumin would be drawn to joining their ranks. However, I do think his father would’ve encouraged that extensively.

Being the clever boy he is, I think Jumin would have become a cadet with quiet vigor. He would’ve kept his true intentions close to the vest, along with his emotions and trauma. He would’ve fooled everyone he knew. His father, the MP Commander, even the other cadets in his group. Everyone would have assumed that his goal was to join the Military Police, due to his father’s high rank.

But I think Jumin’s heart was leaning towards the Scouts. By the time he’s old enough to enlist, the Military Police disgust him, and he doesn’t really see a point in joining the Garrison Regiment. And that leaves the Survey Corps.

Jumin is a natural with the maneuver gear. As the son of a high-ranking officer and noblewoman, he has always had perfect posture and a poised demeanor. This comes in handy when working the gear. His balance is perfect, and he’s easily able to adjust with unusual terrain. He’s also light on his feet and flexible, which makes his odds of survival quadruple.

Due to his age, I see him being in the same group of recruits as Hange, Levi, Farlan, and Isabel. He’s a lot like Levi in many ways, but I see him being a little warmer towards others. He doesn’t have the tragic background that Levi did, so I think he’ll find Hange amusing and Isabel and Farlan sweet.

He and Levi have a healthy competition to see who can get to the top of the class, much like Eren and Jean did. But unlike those cadets, Jumin and Levi have a mutual respect for each other. Both “Orientals” and Ackermans are outcasts, and even if Levi didn’t know of his heritage at the time, that fact still affected him. After the incident that costs Isabel and Farlan their lives, I can see Jumin and Levi making a pact to never let something like that happen again.

Come graduation, Jumin makes it into the top ten of his class. His father expects him to use that luxury to pick the Military Police. Shocking everyone, Jumin dons the Wings of Freedom and never looks back (and by god, does he look good in the Scouts uniform.) He hasn’t spoken to his father in years.

His first titan kill comes shortly after graduation, on his first expedition outside the Walls under Commander Shadis. It isn’t anything spectacular, but in the eyes of the fellow new recruit he saves, it’s a miracle.

A titan lies in wait behind one of the broken buildings, just waiting for someone to come by. The Scout ahead of him goes first, so she doesn’t see the titan at first. Using his peripheral vision, Jumin is able to spot the man-eater just in time to grab the hood of the other recruit, throw her behind him, and jettison into the air. Using his adaptive skills on the ODM gear, he easily takes down the six-meter monster. This is his first solo kill, the first of many.

Over the next few years, Jumin rises through the ranks and earns the title of Lieutenant. He’s also stationed as second in command under Levi as part of the Captain’s squad, along with Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld.

As far as his similarities to Erwin, they’re both calculating, intelligent, and hard-working. There are a lot of comparisons to draw between Jumin and Erwin, as well as Levi. I see him as a blend of the Captain and Commander.

When Wall Maria is breached by the Colossal and Armored Titans, Jumin is the first to grab a horse and ride for the edge. Even though the Scouts have only just returned to Wall Rose after a long, and ultimately failed, mission into the territory outside Wall Maria, he knows that time is of the essence.

But by the time he arrives, the devastation has already happened. The titans have already gotten inside. Shiganshina has already been evacuated. Only in his early twenties, Jumin soon realizes that humanity’s time is running out.

Over the rest of the arcs in Attack on Titan, I think Jumin is one of the few that could survive it all. Like Levi and Hange, he’d be one of the few veterans to make it through to the end. Not without earning a half-dozen battle scars or losing those he grows to care about, but I really think that the AoT version of Jumin Han has a good chance at survival. He’s intelligent, capable, and quick on his feet. Strength and bravery, he has in surplus, along with close connections to some of the most skilled members of the Survey Corps. However, nothing is for certain. Erwin had all those qualities as well, and he’s fell no more majestically than anyone else.

I could speculate all day about what choices he would make in specific situations, but in the end, I think all that Jumin wants is for people to live. He wants a kinder world, one where people like him can be accepted and kids don’t have to starve. He wants a place where he can live happy, free from fighting and free from the war, free from the titans and the curse they’ve brought.

And like Erwin, while Jumin would want those things for everyone, he wants to see them for himself. To him, it’s not good enough if he has to die to get there. More than anything, he wants to see the end of everything, just like Erwin would have done anything to know the truth of that world. It’s Jumin’s greatest dream to survive the war against the titans, and it’s that dream alone that propels him forward.

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blehbleehhhh · 6 years ago

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It’s Always Been You ft. Eremika<3

I would like to request canonverse eremika first time during the 4 years skip, right after basement arc, when eren cant control his feelings for her any longer and she's in disbelief... naughty eremika... hehe... uwu Everyone's got so many ideas 😜 Let's see how it writes out! Keep requests coming :) This was SOOO fun to write! In the off chance you aren’t up to date with AOT, there are some spoilers, I tried to avoid them but the story didn’t make sense without any. This damn thing took over two months for me to write, so I hope you enjoy it!

Mikasa found him laying on his back surrounded by a field of luscious, green grass, staring up at the clear night sky. It's been a month since that huge battle with the Beast Titan where a massive amount of losses were felt and they almost lost their best friend, Armin. "Eren?" Her voice sounded so distant, like she were much farther than the crunching of twigs and grass beneath her boots would indicate. Suddenly, all he was able to think about was that moment right before opening one of his father's books of secrets, when Mikasa's hand touched his and they briefly looked into each other's eyes. "Are you okay?" Actually, Eren hasn't been able to get her out of his head since that day when the elusive Dr. Grisha Jaeger's basement was finally discovered. Most of the time, simply doing something other than laying around is how he's been able to keep her out of his head twenty-four seven all these years. But now? After Armin reminded him of their dreams to exist outside the walls, he started to think about what it would be like sharing a house again because 'living together' this way simply doesn't feel the same. If anything, it's more like they're further apart than they used to be. "Eren?" He couldn't help but wonder how much more difficult it would be to hide this thing he's had for her, especially since Mikasa is pretty much all he can think about these days. Hell, she's invaded his dreams, well, she's in them more often and they're usually incredibly sexual in nature. In fact, thinking about how aggressively this version of her was kissing him last night as he slowly slipped a hand down her naked body and between those beautiful, long legs - "EREN!"

"Hm?" He blinked and rubbed a hand down his face, tilting his head back on the ground so he could look up at her. “Fuck, I'm sorry. What did you say?" Mikasa smiled as she sat down beside him and brought her knees up to her chest; he couldn't resist admiring her face from the corner of his eye, but ended up forcing himself to look away when she pushed fingers through her hair, the mild wind is fighting to shield said beautiful face with a sheet of black satin, because pushing her hair out of her face is something the dream version of Mikasa always does. God, it's her lips, they're shaped like a tulip, and Eren begins to wonder what it would feel like to kiss them. No, no, perhaps it's her eyes? Or her porcelain skin that looked smooth enough to get him thinking how he would rather enjoy caressing it the rest of their lives. Perhaps.

"I asked if you were okay. You weren't at lunch or at dinner, so I got concerned."

"Mikasa, you worry about me too much. I'm okay, really, I'm just fucking exhausted.”

"Yeah, I think we're all exhausted. Last few weeks have been an absolute train wreck.” She let out a frustrated sigh as the wind continued to blow her hair out to frame that angelic, fragile face. Eren just looked up at her and laughed to himself for feeling as nervous as he does, but the way her hair is falling across her face, the darkness of those luscious locks a perfect combination with her fair skin, and he briefly thinks that this woman just may be the death of him.

The pair sit together for a while, just enjoying each other's company and how still tonight is compared to the shit storm they've just had, grateful for the time they have off for the moment because, as far as titans go, things seem to be pretty quiet. But his mind persisted in pushing what Eren had always been telling himself were unwanted thoughts, though he’s recently found that his mind doesn’t fight with these thoughts often anymore, choosing instead to welcome them with open arms. What are you waiting for? You both almost died without her ever knowing how you feel. Again. Eren sat up with a sigh and leaned back, supporting himself with his hands, then eased himself to stand. Don't you fucking dare get up and walk away, dude. You know how much you want her so don't be a pussy! Mikasa pushed her hair back as she looked up at him with a confused face that’s easily just as adorable and irresistible as any other that he's seen her make over the years they’ve known each other.

Offering her a hand, Eren decided to bite the bullet and quit torturing himself because these feelings are twice as hard to ignore, especially now that he’s uncomfortably aware of how far apart they are. He feels an itch to simply just hold her in his arms even if just for a moment, and it's simply maddening as Mikasa graciously accepted his hand with a sweet smile, watching him with her ever inquisitive gaze as he stuffed a hand in his pocket, anxiously dragging the other down his mouth. Fuck it. On a spur of the moment decision, Eren cradled her face in his hands and hurriedly closed the space between them, an electrifying first kiss for both indeed. Despite the immediate spark, because she's wanted this for so long, Mikasa was much too surprised to even react and soon found herself awkwardly staring down the bridge of his nose, wondering what the fuck made his behavior change so drastically. At this moment, Eren doesn't care that she's not reciprocating, because kissing her feels like free falling and activating your 3DMG at the last moment; like the taste of liquor, how it warms your stomach, radiates from your core, and makes you feel out of control. After a minute or so of his advances still not being returned, for once, he actually started to feel a little embarrassed and even ashamed for throwing himself at her like this, all because he couldn't take it anymore. When he slowly started to pull away, Mikasa's shock was replaced with a sudden sense of emptiness from feeling as if her other half was being torn away. It was like a reflex; her fingers quick to curl in his shirt in the hopes of preventing any opportunity for him to pull away, her lips eager to play, finally allowing herself to succumb to his charms as her eyes fluttered shut. Kissing Eren feels like a free fall between slaughtered, collapsing titans that they had taken down together as a team; like the horrific day he transformed for the first time and she spotted his unmistakable silhouette through steam coming from the rogue titan's nape. Relief. So much relief that tears began to well up in her eyes. Eren sunk his fingers in her soft, raven hair as she leaned into him and sighed softly in his mouth, so entranced that she didn't even care when he pulled his lips away and gently bumped their foreheads together. He slid his nose alongside hers and set a hand on her hip, slowly stroking her cheek with his thumb. "Mikasa..." His breath tickled her lips as he kissed her again, again and again, then fiercely went in for more, eliciting a soft moan from her that filled his mouth and only served to worsen his burning desire. And then her back was pressed against a nearby tree, his knee parting her legs just as she hooked one around his waist in the hopes of hinting that she was more than okay with taking this further. He groaned into her mouth, and their lips slowly parted the smallest bit. "What do you want?"

“You..." Mikasa bit his lower lip, making him breathe a little deeper as he pressed his hard-on into her.

"Say it again."

"I want you, Eren.."

"Come with me." He glanced around to make sure nobody was near and walked off in front of her like they normally do, leading her to his room as nonchalantly as possible. They navigate through the barracks on guard to make sure they don't get caught entering his room together only to not come out again until some time the next day. When they succeeded and finally got on the other side of his door, she was already laying back on the bed, trying desperately to get control of her heart since it's beating way too fast. Eren was quick to crawl up between her legs, fairly certain that his own heart might explode because of how she’s smiling up at him and slowly sliding her hands up his arms and into his hair. Up until now, laying in a bed wrapped up in his arms was only something Mikasa’s dreamt about without once ever considering that it would actually happen someday. Yet here she is, allowing him to unravel her scarf and expose her neck as he peppered any new skin in kisses, his hand underneath her shirt, slowly gliding across her toned stomach and the waistline of her trousers.

"Why did you kiss me?" She blurted out, holding her breath for an explosive reaction that never came.

"Because you almost died. Because we both almost fucking died again. We were finally standing in that damn basement when I realized something," Eren paused to remove her hands from his hair so he could pin them to the bed and lace their fingers together. "I never wanted to kiss you more than I did the moment you touched my hand. And that got me thinking about my recovery after fighting Annie when you told me how happy you were that I came back, then that shit show on the battlefield with the smiling titan. Those are a few other times where I've felt that same way. You know why?" Stunned into silence from his words, all she could manage was a light squeeze of his hands and a hard swallow as their lips grew close enough, they were just barely touching. "Because it's always been you, Mikasa..." Her legs crossed behind his back as they engaged in a long, passionate kiss, happily using the new freedom of her hands to sink them in his hair. Eren took advantage of her neck being bare and slowly parted from the comfort of her lips to softly kiss the newly exposed skin, quickly noting that her moans tended to be louder and even more maddening the harder he pressed down with his lips.

"Oh my god," Mikasa breathed a quiet giggle with a pleasure induced sigh and flushed when she felt him smile on her neck. "This can't be happening..."

"Are you sure you don't want to wait? I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you." She just gently nudged him to give her space to remove her shirt in such a slow way that it was immediately clear she was teasing him; her soft, fair skin a light shade of pink that easily made her resemble a porcelain doll. Eren’s breath caught in his throat as he swallowed hard trying to suppress the animalistic desire to just ravage her, but he really doesn't want to hurt her. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the idea of touching her because he knows how hard it'll be to control himself when it finally happens, so his eyes carefully watch hers as he reached behind her back to unhook her bra. Mikasa gently bumped their foreheads together as his fingers slowly push her bra straps down the slope of her shoulders. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't promise I'll be gentle." He breathed to her lips as her bra fell down her arms, his hands now swiftly unbuttoning the fasteners of her trousers.

"No, it's okay, I can take it.."

"I love you, Mikasa." Eren kissed her as she slowly lay back on the bed, sliding his hands up to touch her breasts for the first time and sending a highly erotic sigh into his mouth. They aren't huge, but they certainly aren't small, either, in fact, they're the perfect size for his hands to squeeze, which is something he’s already taken a liking to doing. He gently kneaded them with his hands and fingers to elicit more of those sounds from her mouth, slowly pulling his lips away to bury them between her breasts, leaving open mouthed kisses across the aroused mounds.

"Ohh, Erennn," She smiled, and he can hear the excitement in her voice as she sunk her fingers into his hair, cradling the back of his head with one of her palms. "I love you too..." He couldn't get enough of her; skin so soft and smooth, he could do this all day if they had the time, no obligations of any kind except to one another; stealing away together to help forget how shitty the world is. Eren’s lips slowly made their way down her body, pausing on her incredibly toned core as he tugged everything down her legs and threw them on the floor behind him, leaving the girl completely naked.

"Wow, Mika," He smiled, sliding his hands up her legs as he leaned down to kiss her. "You're absolutely gorgeous."

"Really?"

"You disagree? I mean, look at you..." Eren smirked when she smiled and grabbed onto his shirt to pull him closer, reaching down his back so she could tug it over his head. And then her fingers lightly trailed down his torso, slowly tracing the dips and ridges of his abdominals. But he surprised her again, kissing down her body so fast, that she couldn't process it until he was half on the bed, pulling her giggling form farther down by slipping his arms under and around her hips, right up to an eagerly awaiting mouth. He curved his hands around her thighs to pry the lips open and reveal the wet, pink flesh between them, then dove into her sweet spot.

"Haaaa! Eren!" It felt incredible; his tongue pressed against her truly aching clit, rubbing up and down so quickly it made her hips want to twitch, but they can't because she's trapped in his strong arms. Given the horrific things they see day to day, it's understandable that the soldiers might need some kind of release. As a result, Eren frequently has the displeasure of overhearing discussions other guys were having where people just brag about who they sleep with and, sometimes, there would be tidbits of advice about what to do in sexual situations with women. And if the way Mikasa is clawing at his back or tugging on his hair says anything, it seems to be going over well. "Ohgodohgodohgod! Don't stop!" He slowly eased a finger inside and moved it in and out faster and faster, eliciting more powerful moans sourced from deep in her body. So, he added a second and flicked his tongue across her clit. "Yesyesyesyes!" She whimpered and closed her legs around his head as she reached her first climax, squirming and trembling from the overwhelming waves of pleasure. He kissed up her body and swirled his tongue around both of her nipples, then along the side of her neck as he listened to her catch her breath, his fingers dragging her wetness up as they go.

"How was that?"

"Everything I hoped.."

"I'm glad." Eren smirked when she pulled him in for a kiss despite the sweet taste of herself on his tongue, on his breath. She reached between them and unfastened his trousers to pull them down, touching the head of his cock for the first time, sending chills down his spine and a groan into her mouth. His lips kiss down her neck and linger on the spot he gets the best moans from in response, kicking his legs to get the rest of his clothing out of the way.

"Eren, please!" Her voice was desperate, sensual, and much too loud.

"The begging is incredibly sexy, but you need to keep it down or we'll get caught," He smirked and watched her eyes as he slid his cock through the wetness. "I'm so sorry if this hurts..." He crashed his lips against hers in the hopes that a distraction would be helpful, then, slowly, so very slowly, pushed himself inside of the tight, wet heat. It was electrifying, nestling himself deeper and deeper until he heard a squeal, followed by the salty taste of her tears invading their kiss from the pain of loosing her virginity. He was surprised with himself for how gentle he's been; perfectly content to just lie there showering her with kisses and loving on her the way that she deserves. Mikasa moaned into his mouth, finally past the worst of the pain and experiencing just how incredible it feels to have him inside her, to hook a leg around his waist and raise her hips in the hopes of slowly working him the rest of the way in. She pulled her lips away and set her hands in his hair, making little moans with every small thrust. "Fuck." There's that potential loss of control, inspired by the sounds he has her making, showing nothing but pure, pent-up sexual tension that's years in the making at this point. Tightening her legs further up his back, she watched his eyes through an equally dreamy, half lidded gaze, quick to discover how much they both enjoy it when she follows his rhythm.

"Harder, Eren," Her voice cracked from desperately trying to keep the music to his ears from becoming too loud. "Fuck me harder..." So, he did, thrusting faster than before, much to Mikasa's excitement, who failed to conceal her little, pleasurable cry when he bit down on her neck, sucking on her skin where a hickey could be hidden with her scarf and uniform. "Ohh! Ohhh, Erennnnn!" She clung onto his body as an orgasm wracked through her hard, making her involuntarily grind on him faster until he let out what almost sounded like a growl and removed his cock just in time to blow his load across her stomach. It was an out of body experience, like you're floating on a cloud and slowly coming back down to Earth. It felt right, so, so right.

"You're incredible." Eren whispered breathlessly and smiled as she offered him a sleepy grin, snaking her arms around his neck to bring his face even closer for a succession of kisses that quickly turned into something more. She eventually relaxed, happily allowing him to kiss down her neck and swirl his tongue around her nipples, reluctantly reaching for a dirty washcloth to wipe off his mess. "I'm so sorry, but this is all I have at the moment."

"It's okay," She stretched out and smiled, watching him slowly drag the washcloth across her skin. "It is what it is."

"How much did it hurt?"

"It felt like I got stabbed for a minute or two, but mostly it felt really, really good."

"Good." Tossing the rag on the floor, Eren dropped down beside her and chuckled when she immediately curled up into his side, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Wow, this is pretty entertaining when you're naked, too." He felt her lips smile on his skin as she slipped an arm around him and sighed with contentment, wrapped up in his arms and the blankets like they've both dreamed.

"Hopefully, things continue to stay quiet so we can keep doing this."

“You know the best part?”

“Hm?” Mikasa hummed softly in response and lightly tapped her fingertips on his chest, overwhelmed with that familiar feeling of relief once again because his heartbeat is so strong.

“I’ll last longer the next time.”

"Ooooh! Really?!”

"Heh, yes, really." Eren laughed to himself, gently squeezing her against him as he kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry that I’ve been a dick lately...” She looked up and set her hand on his cheek, bringing him in for a deeply passionate kiss that sent chills down his spine. “Uh,” He chuckled and kissed the grin on her lips. “Okay.”

“I forgive you.”

“Wait, really?”

“Of course,” Mikasa smiled as she studied his gorgeous eyes and lightly rubbed his lower lip with her thumb. “Eren, you’re literally all I’ve ever wanted, and we just -" She blushed from what she’s about to say, and the smirk on his face. “We just made love for the first time. So, as far as I’m concerned, you are most definitely forgiven...”

“I can’t believe I’m finally going to say it, but damn, Mikasa,” Eren groaned playfully and chuckled when she buried her face in his neck, lips curved up into a grin. “You’re so fucking gorgeous...” He slowly explored her body with his hand, focusing on the dips and curves he encountered by fingertip, his light, gentle touches sending goosebumps across her skin.

“Are you trying to get laid again? Because, if you are, it’s definitely working...”

“I mean, I’m not going to lie, I had high hopes that we’d do it again later tonight, but that only depends on you.”

“In that case,” Mikasa smiled as she rolled on top of him and straddled his lap. “I wanna be the one on top this time...”

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stardustpug · 6 years ago

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Title: 22 Chapter Title: I Knew You Were Trouble Chapter: 2/? Fandom: snk/aot Pairing: eremika FF.Net | AO3

Mikasa plops into her seat in the middle of the classroom and lets out a sigh far too heavy for the beginning of a new semester. She rests her head on her hand, slouching over her desk with closed eyes. It’s only the third day of her final semester of undergrad and she has never been more tired than she is right now. The chatter in the room is relatively quiet since the class is mainly freshman that are still trying to decide if they even want to talk to each other.

She opens her eyes ever so slightly to see Eren walking into the room, two coffees in hand. She doesn’t even question the double coffee thing, instead her eyes focusing in on the red scarf that was tucked into his coat.

He makes his way through the cluster of desks to the one directly beside her again, sliding into the seat and holding out one of the coffees to her wordlessly.

She blinks, trying to decide if she’s seeing this right. They’ve texted a few times since Monday and seemed to get along pretty well, but getting her a coffee? She supposes it’s not the grandest gesture in the world; he does work at a coffee shop afterall. It was probably free.

She reaches out and grabs the cup from him, wrapping her fingers around it and humming quietly at the warmth. “Thank you,” she says softly, taking a small sip to test the heat. It doesn’t burn her tongue, so she settles on taking another sip.

It’s a mint mocha latte.

He doesn’t reply and instead winks at her before turning away to pull his things out of his backpack.

“Do you have another class soon?” Eren asks the moment class ends.

Mikasa shakes her head, “No, not for another few hours.”

“Good,” he says, “You’re coming with me.”

“You already got me coffee today,” Mikasa says matter of factly as the duo steps into Trost Coffee Spot.

“I know, but I have work in an hour and I wanted to actually talk to you. Also it’s warm in here, which is way better than out there,” he nods towards the window and Mikasa’s eyes do a quick sweep over the freshly fallen snow they just escaped from.

“Talk to me?” she questions.

“Yeah,” he drops his backpack haphazardly on the group and sits down, his hands patting the table to signal for her to do the same.

She follows his lead, although she’s a little more cautious with her backpack.

Once she’s settled, Eren begins to speak again. “Tell me about you,” he says, leaning forward, chin resting on his palm.

This close, Mikasa notices more about him. His skin is a perfectly toned olive and she can see his collarbone peeking out from beneath his shirt now that he’s removed his coat and scarf. His arms are nicely toned, although she already knew that from her first night in the coffee shop when she was a only a little tipsy, thank you very much. His eyes are a deep turquoise that remind her of every summer vacation in Greece. The water is brilliant shades of blue and green that never end and are so clear you can see everything in the sea. She feels warm, but she doesn’t know if it’s because of the thoughts of the warm summer sun or his intense gaze.

“What do you want to know?” she says after coming out of her thoughts.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Mikasa laughs at the question but still answers, “Lawyer.”

Eren’s eyebrows raise, “Huh, interesting.”

“Why?” she replies, tilting her head and smiling, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I’m studying to be a doctor,” he leans back in his seat.

“Doctor? I guess we’re both a little hardcore. But why are you in entry level genetics then? Unless… don’t tell me you’re a freshman?”

He snorts and then feigns horror at her question, “How could you, Mikasa? That’s the worst insult I have ever received!”

She laughs, ignoring the way her heart flutters when he says her name.

“No, no, I’m a senior. This is my last semester. I still needed one more gen ed and genetics is cool. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re not a freshman either.”

She shakes her head, “No, no, also a final semester senior. And also taking genetics for the reason.”

He nods, thinking for a moment. “Enough about school. Tell me something else about you.”

“Um, well,” she pauses, trying to think of something, anything, interesting about herself, but nothing comes to mind. She finally sputters out, “I’ve known my roommate since we were five.”

Eren smiles (and holy shit does he have a good smile), “I think we’re the same person.” He points with his thumb over his shoulder towards the kitchen, “Blondie in there is my roommate that I also have known since I was five. But, that’s not really about you, tell me something about your family or something. Any siblings?”

“I have an older brother, Levi. Both him and his wife are journalists for Trost Daily. You?”

“Older half brother. His name is Zeke. He’s in his final year of his residency program at Trost Medical.”

“Ohh, a family of doctors. Fancy.”

Eren rolls his eyes, “You have no idea. My dad is also a doctor. My mom is the only one who’s not. She owns a restaurant not far from here. I kinda thought about being a chef for a while but I think food is more of a hobby.”

“You can cook?”

“Pretty well, although nowhere near as good as my mom,” he shrugs.

“Maybe you could make me dinner sometime? My roommate is the best cook I know so you’ll have to try pretty hard to live up to her,” Mikasa tries to keep her face as neutral as possible. Did she just ask him on a date? She hasn’t been on a date in at least three years and has no intention of starting again now, not with law school right around the corner. She’s also known Eren for a grand total of what, four days? She shifts in her seat, trying to play it cool. She didn’t ask him on a date, but a cooking content with Sasha. Yeah, that sounds much better.

“Your mind is gonna be blown, I promise!”

Two nerds in a coffee shop, living their best lives.

#snk #shingeki no kyojin #Eren Jaeger #Mikasa Ackerman #eremika #aot #a dreamer's writings

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emotionalcello-makefanfics · 3 years ago

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Note to self:

AHBHDBasd god it hurts so much. LOOK AT THIS ART. Look at how Eren looks up to the sky and just LOOK how Reiner looks at Eren instead and look at that look of LOVE AAAAAAAAAa. GoD, artists that can draw this look of LOVE just.... truly a gift to mankind, a sign that God has not truly forsaken us just yet. How can I NOT get inspired???

Ererei AU where Eren is born in Marley and becomes a warrior. Then he meets Reiner and has their Rival to Friends to Bromance to Straight-up Romance to Lovers trope, and they sneak out in the night to the rooftop, seeing stars and making promises and having dreams they can't have and Eren asks Reiner to run away with him instead of Mikasa ansajfdhsf.

Oneshot gone rogue (3k words):

Tags: ch 139 aot spoiler (duh), spoilers on the whole ass manga, aaannnngsssttt.

AO3

“Eren! You’re gonna get our ass killed!”

“We’ve survived wars and all you’re scared of is a little darkness?” The ass giggles, “Come on, you can hold my hand.”

“It’s not the dark I’m worried about and you know it!”

Reiner glares while Eren still hadn’t wiped that smug smirk on him. Their words always have a bite to them ever since warrior training until they’ve now become full-fledged warriors. But in the end, they never bite to draw blood. Even now, despite Reiner’s horror, he hasn’t let go of Eren’s hand and follow him into the dark maze of the Eldian camp.

It’s way past curfew and their camp is deep dark compared to the lights of the Marley area. Eren pulls him, away from the walls facing the city, far at the edge, going through narrow alleys, to a closed building. Reiner is scared out of his mind. He’s never been big on breaking rules, unlike Eren who had his jaw dislocated, his nose broken and his legs snapped for getting caught doing petty disobedience, but it never stops him.

Eren breaks into a building, and Reiner’s heart rate picks up.

“What are you doing!” Reiner screams whisper.

Eren smirks, pressing his thumbs at Reiner’s mouth, leaning close, “Shh, no one’s inside I promise. I won’t take you here if I wasn’t sure it’s safe.” He lands a kiss on top of Reiner’s and pulls him into the building.

It’s odd how that alone makes Reiner feels so much safer. As someone that had taken a role as a mentor along with Zeke, Reiner sometimes feels the weight crushing on his bones, but Eren... Eren takes everything in a stride.

Ever since they got back from Paradis Island, Eren had been in this haze of apathy and depression. Then out of nowhere, he got over it and starts being spontaneous instead. Making troubles, breaking rules, and the most surprising to everyone, he asked Reiner out to date.

But lately, Eren seems to be preoccupied. It’s like nothing matters. Not their prejudiced race, not the warrior's program, not their ticking years. Nothing. Until even Reiner doesn’t seem to matter too.

Until tonight. Eren wanted to take him somewhere special and the blush was imminent.

They climb the stairs to the rooftop. It’s so high up, they can see the glittering Marley’s lights from afar.

Eren stops, and Reiner bumped into him, “Lookup” he says.

When Reiner did, he swore he just gasps till his lung bursts. Stars like glitters all over the dark blue sky. They twinkle and sparkle and Reiner felt his heart stopped.

“Remember that night?” Eren’s voice got real low, his hand hangs on Reiner’s hips. “Our first night on Paradis Island mission. I was so scared.” Eren lands his temple against Reiner’s shoulder, his hair cascade down his face. “You were always trying to protect us, but I knew you’re scared too... Remember what you told me?”

Reiner looks down, and he remembers Eren’s scared face. Barely 11, Eren had always been brave and dedicated, more than Reiner could ever be, but that night, for the first time since Reiner knew him, he looked like a child.

“You told me, told us... that the sky is bigger than the titans and everything else in the world. That it’s so high up that no titans nor bullets can reach it. You said that if we died that night, that the horrible feeling won't last forever, because we’d ended up together in the same sky, safe from anything.”

Eren raises his head, and Reiner is once again struck with awe at how much Eren had grown. His hair flows down his shoulder that’s often in a bun, but Reiner always loves it down. He’s no longer that little twerp that didn’t even reach his chest, Eren now stands with him nose to nose. Those green eyes don’t look at him with hero worship nor a glint of rivalry anymore, but more fondly, kinder, softly. Reiner always finds it funny and in awe when his life has been nothing but fighting and war that he’ll have his share of softness from Eren out of all people.

But here he is. Eren’s eyes look at him like he had hung all the stars in the sky tonight, holding his hand tenderly.

And yet, Reiner can’t help that there’s something wrong. Because they don’t do this. Their relationship is blood, trust, and combat. Not this, not gazing at each other's faces lovingly in the glitter-painted sky.

“Eren...”

“Tomorrow’s festival,” Eren cuts almost abruptly. “Let's take the kids through the food market, spend it together, it’s been a while since we go on a date.”

Reiner could feel his heartbeat pulsing on his neck, “Sit next to me at Tybur’s play?”

“I can’t.”

And that confirms every fear Reiner had been haunted by. The days where Eren is nowhere to be seen, the haunted hollow eyes, his concealed whispers with his brother. Tonight, this moment seems like a goodbye.

“Eren, whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t do it.” Reiner wants to shout, but he forces his voice to whisper, and it’s close to sobbing.

Eren takes a solemn pause, his haunted eyes stare at Reiner. It haunts Reiner every night, how Eren’s spirit seems to die right in front of Reiner’s eyes. Maybe that’s hypocritical of him, since Reiner deteriorates in front of Eren too. None of them had been able to do anything about it. The war that’s forced on their hands waits for no one, especially cursed Eldians like them.

“If there’s no war-”

“There’s always going to be war Eren!” Reiner cuts, panicking. “You can’t let yourself think of-”

“If there’s no war,” Eren says firmer, eyes boring into Reiner’s. “Who am I to you?”

Reiner blinks, “What? What do you mean?”

“I know we never do this,” Eren looks to the side. “I know we’re partners more than we’re boyfriends. Warriors in arms, a fighter that I trust to guide my back, you’re all these things more than anything else. I know I’m that type of person to you too.” His eyes cast down to their shoes, Eren almost looks shy. It’s been ages since Eren looks shy, and it’s doing things to Reiner’s heart.

“So, if there’s no war, if we didn’t have to fight all the time, if we have freedom...” Eren continues, “How do you think we turn out to be? Who will we be for each other?”

Reiner remembers the day Eren asks him out, remember how happy he was. How easy they clicked together in everything, even in banter and fights, even more, when they kiss and have sex. It’s been way less lonely with Eren by his side, and no one had ever been able to do that for Reiner. Reiner could never imagine a life without Eren in it, he’s not sure that he’d live through this war if it wasn’t for this suicidally brave man.

Reiner cups his face, and Eren looks tragically young in that Eldian Warrior uniform. “You’ll still be annoying,” Reiner chuckles when Eren pouts. “Always going against what I told you, but small things, like how you’d use a rod to catch fish when I told you to use a net, just to piss me off.”

“It was worth it, and I was right.”

“We could’ve caught more fish with nets, anyway,” Reiner sighs exasperatedly with fondness, and he can see them in Eren too. His heart ached so badly. “We’d be in a house, by the hill, rivers by its foot. I’d set up a vegetable farm, while you tend for animals. Just the two of us... together.” Reiner feels himself smile, lets himself dream, though it made him bleed. “Maybe even adopt a few kids, watch them grow, and we’d be together till we’re just dust and bones...” Reiner didn’t realize he’s crying until he choked.

“Why... why did you ask me that?” His chest hurts, and with every heartbeat, it gets worse. His tears rain down, “Why would you let me dream?”

The pain is then soon gone with shock when Eren says, “Run away with me.”

Reiner glares, “We can’t, Eren!”

“We can!” Eren cries, holding onto him desperately.

“Tomorrow Tyburs is declaring war on Paradis, our roles are essential to the war-”

“But it’s not our war! It’s never supposed to be our war!”

“The war has only just begun!”

“The war has gone for far too long!” Eren’s voice lowers dangerously, “It had started before any of us were born, long before our great great great ancestors were born, but why do we get to be the one who fights it!”

“Because it’s just is,” Reiner’s voice weakens, “We aredestined to fight, it’s always going to be our path.” Reiner eyes the wall. “We didn’t have the privilege of a choice.”

“But if you do?” Eren whispers, he’s stepping back, looking at Reiner like one of them will disappear. “If you have a choice right now to do anything you want, what would you do?”

Reiner frowns, “Don’t do this to me.”

“Tell me.”

“Don’t give me hope.”

“Just answer me.”

“What does it matter? We’d be together in the end anyway, free in the starry sky-”

“What do you want?”

“I’ve said it,” Reiner clutches his chest, “I just want us to be together and free.” He sucks a breath at the deep swirling pain in his chest and choked out “I would’ve run away with you.”

Eren looks at him with that aloof smile, “We can do that.”

Reiner chuckles mirthlessly, “We’re in a heavily guarded area. Titans or not, we’d be shot dead if we stepped out-”

“What if I found a way?” Eren’s dead-set eyes pin Reiner at a spot, his dead serious voice is sobering, “What if I found a way for us to leave?”

Reiner had run out of breath yet again. His face cold with dried-up tears, his hands shaking at his side from fear, excitement, and from holding onto hope. He looks at Eren’s unrelenting face, the one he wears when he’s going down the battlefield and is determined to do anything at all to survive. Then the emptiness after that, bloodsoaked and tired. Weighed down with guilt and horror. And Reiner will lean onto him, weighed down by the same thing.

Reiner remembers the little moments they had in Paradis island. Moments like this after they’re dating. Those moments are rare jewels that he kept on his locked keepsake box.

“We can be together,” Eren says, there’s a smile there that Reiner had never seen before. “We can be free in this little blue dot before we go to the stars.”

“We only have three years left.”

“I know.”

There’s a manic smile on Reiner’s face, and another sigh of defeat. “Let’s go.”

Reiner dreams a weird dream.

He’s in a boat onwards to Marley. On the deck are the devils of Paradis Island. Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, and that weird scientist Hange. Gaby and Falco sitting next to each other, blushing as they steal glances at the other. Annie is alive and well, talking to Armin wearing a shy expression that Reiner had never seen. And there’s this feeling, wishing that Bertholt was here.

Across the sea, he sees steam and smoke. He knows he’s going to war, with the Paradis island devils are on the same side. Yet strangely, it feels like going home.

“Reiner.”

The voice snaps him to what feels like reality. Eren is holding a bucket of fish and a rod held on his other hand.

Reiner scoffs, “I told you to use the fishing net.”

“Shut up,” Eren chuckles, sitting beside him on the porch and Reiner leans his head on him. Eren smells damp and of moss. “I got a cod for you.”

Reiner blinks and things get bright. There’s the sea and then there’s here. A wooden house on the hill. Eren seems older. His hair is cut short.

“Are we...” Reiner can’t believe what he’s about to say. Are we free? Where are we? What’s going on? He knows the answer to all of those questions, but at the moment, this doesn’t feel real.

“Are you okay?” Eren asks.

“I’m not sure.”

“We’ve been having a lot of those these days, I guess it’s time.” Reiner looks at Eren who looks back funny. “We’re reaching the end of our last years.”

“We’re dying,” Reiner mumbles emptily.

“That we are.”

And so that night, they walk up to the top of the hill to have their dinner, like they do every night. Reiner knows this, yet today, it feels like it’s the first and the last time. None of them remembers what date it was when they first inherit their titans. None of them remembers what day today is, they measure the time with the season. It’s spring. Flowers bloom all around them, the stars are even more bright and colorful than when they were on Paradis Island.

Reiner looks at the night sky and remembers the day Eren asked him to run.

“Did you ever regret running away with me?” Eren’s voice sounds far away, but when he looks, Eren is right in front of him. Hand in hand, face to face, at the top of the hill, looking at the stars.

Eren blushes prettily, the amber from the campfire shines on half his face, accentuating his features, showing how much he had grown. Eren at 22 years old has high cheekbones, slim jaws, and round eyes. His hair always looks soft but terrible bed head when he wakes up. His body filled with lean muscle tones. Compared to him, Reiner looks like a deteriorating gorilla. But here they are, choosing each other to spend their last days together, abandoned everything they’ve ever known.

Reiner smiles wetly, cradling Eren’s face, “Never,” he whispers. “These three years are the happiest I’ve been in my life... Thank you for taking me.”

A tear escaped his big green eyes, cold hands cupping over Reiner’s. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Reiner. I had to,” the broken voice begs.

Reiner has a watery smile, deep down he had known, but he had been happy. He knows what happiness felt like. “I know you do. I forgive you.”

“Reiner,” Eren’s voice soft, his touch warm and he says sweetly, “I love you.”

Reiner’s tears stream down to his smile, “I love you too.”

Warm breath on his face. Soft lips on his. The familiar body pressed against him. Warm, solid, and loving.

It feels like coming home.

Eren in his arms has gone cold. He leans back and looks. Half of his torso blown off by the armored titan’s fist, green eyes look blankly towards the spring blue sky. Soft long hair cradles his sunken face. Splotches of tears on his pale skin. The mist all around them is the only thing that’s left of the Titans. Even Reiner’s own that he had freshly jumped out of had turned to mist in a blink.

Reiner is hit with three years worth of illusion that didn’t happen. Eren had never asked him to run away, never even took him out of curfew to see the stars, but Eren had wanted to, that’s why he took Reiner in the only way he can. In reality, Eren wouldn’t offer to run, his destiny is spoken by the god Ymir herself, not even Reiner could stop him. And Reiner would’ve said no, if they left their family would be killed and tortured.

What Eren did instead was disappearing to side with Paradis after Armin attacked at Tybur’s declaration of war.

Reiner wants to be angry at Eren for his betrayal, for killing so many people. He wants to feel happy now that the war is over, and there are no more titans. But he felt empty instead.

What’s left now is the surviving people of the rumbling, Reiner, and his dead lover in his arms.

For warriors, he doesn’t get to decide who survives the war. Reiner does, and Eren ended it. The war is over.

So, Reiner takes Eren home.

“Reiner!”

“I’m here!” Reiner screams back, he goes up the hill, a pile of net on his shoulder and a bucket of a couple of fishes on the right.

Gaby meets him halfway down the hill. The years after the war had done her good. She’s calmer, taller, matured. Sometimes the war still catches up on her in her dreams, but Reiner is there for her, as she does for him.

“Where are you going?” Reiner eyes the outfit she’s wearing. She even put make-up on. She never puts on make-up for anything, not even for Mikasa’s and Jean’s wedding.

“I’m going to the Peace Festival.”

“Ah, so you’re meeting with Falco.”

The blush goes through her foundation, “He has nothing to do with anything!”

Reiner chuckles, “Have fun.”

“How about you come with me this year?” Gabby asks, as she always does every year.

And Reiner’s answer is always the same, “No, I got my own date.”

Gabby smiles still, but it’s been less and less understanding, and sadder and sadder.

Reiner cooks, picks flowers, makes lemonade, and brings it up to the hill.

The sun is setting as Reiner sets a picnic beside Eren’s headstone. Far away in the distance, he can see the peak of colorful buildings. It’s amazing how much humanity could rebuild in ten years after 90% of its population murdered.

Night falls, colorful lanterns floats to the sky, symbolizing the fallen soldiers and victims of the rumbling joining the heavens.

“I hated that you had to do it,” Reiner says, “But I get it. I’m a free man in a world without war and it is beautiful. I never thought this world could ever be beautiful...” His breath catches, hands on the bed of grass beside Eren’s headstone. “I just wished you didn’t have to do it. I wished you’re here with me.”

Or so Reiner says every time he celebrates the end of war anniversary with Eren, but as a decade had gone by, Reiner feels more and more content.

The world without war is peaceful. He feels proud every day seeing Gabby grow. He’s amazed to see how fast and pacifist humanity had evolved. Reiner finds that he’s beginning to like being alive.

So, he’s content to wait in this little blue dot until his time to join Eren with the stars.

*sobs in the corner

Happy Valentine's day!

After the war is over, I'll get all the stars out of the sky for you.

#ererei #ererei fanfic #ererei fanfiction #god kill me now #Let me float to the stars #note to self #emocel's #eren jaeger fanfiction #eren x reiner fanfiction #eren x reiner #eren x reiner fanfic #reiner braun #reiner fluff #eren jaeger #Eldian Eren #headcanon #aot headcanons

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todokori-kun · 7 years ago

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AYYYYY

I’M SO. FREAKING. GLAD YOU’RE BACK <3333 (I feel really stupid for this because I KNOW Queen Luna’s told me like a dozen times that if you’re not answering, it’s probably because of the internet…but ugh, Evans is an idiot who still keeps having mini panic attacks over late replies XD like, I almost sent a 'did I say something wrong' message before I took a deep breath and realized how hecking stupid that would sound lol)

You’re welcome! They really do look amazing, though <3 I’ve also been working on aesthetics but eh. Idk, really. I made a barely-tolerable Saiko/Urie one, and then one for one of the Love Interests in that Otome Game I mentioned (not The Blind Griffin; the original thing I was working on)…which actually looks nice, but guess what? I could only find four pictures that matched with the color scheme/themes I’d picked out OTL

And tysm <333 ;-; but seriously, Mikasa is such a Zoldyck. Like, what if she and Illumi switched places. It’s like “Killua, you are my favorite sibling, I’ll follow you anywhere and protect you from everything” and “Eren you have a duty to your family (AKA me) please, stop playing the hero and come back here”

Actually I feel like Killua would be a lot happier with Mikasa for an older sibling instead of Illumi. Like, Zoldyck!Mikasa would probably be just as messed up as Illumi, but if we’re talking about canon Mikasa…let’s be honest. If Killua wanted to be a hunter she’d make sure he’d pass the test by any means necessary. If Killua wanted to get away from their family and explore, then sure, she’d order the butlers to let him out. If Killua’s friends came to visit and Mrs. Zoldyck/the servants refused to let them in, Mikasa would storm out there and open the gates herself. If the rest of the family went too far I really think she'd be perfectly willing to stab them all in the back, throw Killua over her shoulder, resign from her job as an assassin and walk right out of there.

Only Eren would be miserable. Illumi would probably do an even better job of keeping him ‘safe’ than Mikasa did (unlike Mikasa Illumi is perfectly willing to manipulate loved ones to keep them by his side), but…yeah. It’s Illumi. How could Eren be happy?

I KNOW. THE HAMILTON FEELS. (if you’d like I could send you more letters? I’ve managed to find quite a few….

Also idk if this is even true, but do you know about the relationship between Angelica and TJeffs (apparently they were friends and Jefferson may have been pining over Angelica, just a bit)? So I heard that Angelica slapped him so hard one time that he refused to go to any parties after that if he heard she was there too.

He also became terrified of Eliza as well…

Again, idk if this is true but I sorta want it to be lol)

Like, ok, maybe Eliza doesn’t get to truly shine until That Would Be Enough, and maybe Peggy comes off as simple comic relief to some people, but…HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO 'THE SCHUYLER SISTERS’ AND NOT BE IMPRESSED BY ANGELICA FREAKING SCHUYLER

Nope nope nope nope rewind rewind

How does the bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a

Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten

Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor,

Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

seriously? Because I broke a lot of stuff too XD There’s only one 100% undamaged glass item in this house that belongs to me, and that’s the last snow globe, the only one I somehow haven’t smashed yet. I don’t even touch it anymore because I’m scared of breaking it lol

And aww that sounds so sweet! Weirdly enough I could destroy my own clothes and doodle all over my skin but I never had the guts to do anything to my dolls…I was tempted to give them haircuts several times but I knew mom would probably freak out if she saw doll hair all over the floor so.

Yeah, tbh I have no idea what happened there either. As for blood…well, I got used to nosebleeds as a kid. Like, a ton of blood would randomly come pouring out of my nose all the time and I didn’t even care; just like 'oh welp there it all goes…dad can you pass me a tissue?’. I also don’t mind 'messier’ injuries like scraped knees. But bruises and cuts really, REALLY bother me for some reason ;-;

Oh. Oh dear.

Um, um, um. What is that. I’m never reading this manga. It will make me suffer.

(I wonder if you’re talking about Erza/Jellal? If not, sorry ^^;;)

Feel free to show me the chapter if you want to, though! I’ll try my best to figure out what’s going on :D

Schwing *insert lenny face here*

I finally found the OPM volumes! I’m gonna do my best to catch up with both that and HxH :) (that thing with Saitama, the smol child and the snow monsters at the end of volume 1 is like the cutest thing ever in my eyes. Idk. Maybe I’m just weird?)

I mean, Roma ate Urie so. We’re in for one heck of a ride…

I tried my best, but weirdly, CP hasn’t been working very well for me the last few days…it keeps crashing. I’m really sorry OTL But I’m trying to fix it and I think it’ll work now!

nononononononononono don’t you dare write any more HCs Queen Luna please spare me

Oooh, can’t wait to see your reaction :D

That sounds amazing! Wishing you luck with finding more people to do it with you- I’m sure it’ll turn out great! Tell me how it turns out later, please??? <3

(also I’ll be sending you some HxH character pics, mostly of my problematic favs…hope that’s ok ^^ (tbh I’m mostly trying to get you to join me in my Adultrio (Illumi/Chrollo/Hisoka trio) obsession. Also my love for Leorio and Gon))

No, no, don’t worry about it!! Seriously, I felt so bad, because I’d be in the middle of watching something (USBs were my lord and saviour) and think ‘Omg I gotta tell Evans about this’ and then look up and think ‘wait when was the last time I had net for long enough to answer?’ Then I’d get depressed XD

Aaah, also, telling you in advance this time, on Thursday we’ll be traveling, so I probably won’t be able to answer for 10ish days ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; I feel like crap OTL

Ayyy thank you so much!!! I get your struggle with colours XD It can be really hard ;-; I usually try to get 8 pics, but end up with 6.

I finally saw some pics of Illumi and I get what you mean by ‘dead fish eyes’. Just, I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen a character so bored.

If only, if only... Tbh, Mikasa would be an amazing sibling figure. She’d make sure that her sibling is happy and if there was someone who made them NOT happy, then she’d return the favour. I say Killua needs a lost big sis who is pretty much Mikasa XD

Well,,, let’s say Mikasa AND Eren switch places with Illumi? But then we’re dooming pretty much everyone in the AoT universe... Poor Armin XD

BRING ON THE LETTERS

AHAHAHAHAHAH I completely understand Jeff XD Weren’t they rumoured to have had an affair? That’s amazing XD Just what did the slap have to be like to make a grown man afraid of being in the same room as you. Can you imagine what would’ve happened if he didn’t hear Angelica would be there, though? Like, he walks in and sees her.

WADDAYA MEAN ELIZA DOESN’T SHINE TILL THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH??? WHAT ABOUT HELPLESS?? And, true, you don’t know the awesomeness of Peggy unless you know the history, but damn, she was a freaking badass. Thankfully, Satisfied did make them go ‘damn’, mostly the rap parts XD

The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father Got a lot farther by working a lot harder By being a lot smarter By being a self-starter By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter

Ahahah, that’s completely understandable XD Now that I look around my room, the only glass item which is not a lamp, is a small vial that stands on a shelf I never touch. Maybe that’s why it survived my childhood XD

Nope, the dolls looked like nightmare fuel if my sister didn’t help XD I knew ever since I was a kid that I could never be a make up artist or a hair stylist... Tbh I never had any remorse about cutting their hair, and since my sister was there as well, she taught me to always throw the hair away/do it above a trash can.

Well, I have to blow my nose a lot (I get sick really often), so I also get nosebleeds every once in a while, but I’m still not used to them.

ALRIGHTY THEN I am totally uploading the last chapter then XD

Yep, it’s Erza and Jellal. Wait, how do you know that??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yaay!! I’ll have to read the rest as well XD

SHE WHAT S H E W H A T

Ah, that’s a shame... don’t worry about it though!!

The thing is, every time I ask someone for advice on how to start a group every time, all they tell me is ‘go to cons and find cosplayers’. It’s literally the only advice I’ve received. The problem? Nearest cons are in Germany. And that’s not exactly nearby. Even if I did go and found LL cosplayers, what are the odds they’re Croatian? It’s honestly so frustrating. I’ll just practice dances on my own, and if I find someone who likes it, great! If not, then whatever.

Oh boy, let’s get to the pics!

Gon really does seem like a cinnamon roll! I wanna adopt him XD

Omg I already love Leorio! Like wow, he seems extra, but nice under all that? Rumpel no2

I wanna adopt Killua as well XD He seems like the sweetest sunshine child out there

Tbh when i saw Pika, I thought he was a girl. Whoops. Also, tragedy™

I see Chrollo becoming my problematic fave XD Also, he with his hair down ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aww, that’s nice! I hope she enjoys it!

DOn’t remind me of that ep XDDD Remember when I said a while ago that I was watching Sherlock? I watched The Reichenbach Fall. You should’ve seen me during Watson’s speech at his grave.

1am, not wearing pants, stuffing my face with pancakes while crying. Why does it seem like 1am, no pants is my default mode XD

Yes, Illumi certainly has beautiful eyes. I feel compelled to gouge them out and decorate my room with them.

Also, idk if you’ve noticed but I’m slowly reviving scenarios on ice!! I missed that blog, so I wanna go back to writing for it ^^

#evans #submission

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todokori-kun · 7 years ago

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HEEEEYYYY I FINISHED FMA YESTERDAY

I’M NOT QUITE OVER GREED AND I DOUBT I EVER WILL BE

BUT EVERYBODY’S HAPPY

I’M SO GLAD

(and tiny Pride. It’s fun how he was like, almost the least sympathetic homunculus (I mean, most people can relate to just wanting to go back to sleep ok dad/mom, so even Sloth…lol), and yet he’s the only one who finds a ‘new life’.)

(only HOHENHEIM’S DEAD, my FMA twin is gone ;-; at least that moment with Trisha was beautiful)

I thought I’d cry with FMA’s ending because I did almost cry during the Ishvalan Civil War flashbacks, but…once again, my eyes were dry XD maybe because TG and AoT made me appreciate FMA’s happy ending more?

TYSM for recommending such a great series, Queen Luna <33333 I’m getting kinda emotional XD

UGH. Idek what book that is but I already hate it because of that line.

Hisoka, Hisoka. He’s like the unholy offspring of Furuta and Sebastian. I love it.

(nah, it’s fine,I don’t mind cursing ^^ thanks for asking though, that was sweet)

Yeah, Junior High is pretty cute :) well, it hasn’t been that long since she started learning cello so she’s still playing simple songs like 'mary had a little lamb’ ^^ she really wants to play more complex songs, though.

GAH SORRY I still haven’t started playing OTL I’ve just been a bit busy and had a lot to think about (because COLLEGE) so I kept forgetting…I’ll let you know when I finally start, sorry ;-;

If Urie/Saiko doesn’t become canon…ok, ok, I can deal with Touken, I can deal with that. HOWEVER. If Urie/Saiko doesn’t become canon and Urie/Mutsuki does, I don’t even know what I’ll do. ESPECIALLY IF ISHIDA MAKES URIE ABANDON SAIKO TO 'SAVE’ MUTSUKI OR SOMETHING OMG

I would never! I’m a nice, sweet cinnamon roll who doesn’t know the meaning of the word 'savage’!

If Kimblee actually took a liking to me I’d try to get him to stop blowing things up. Maybe find him a different hobby. But the sad truth is that there’s probably nothing and no one he likes enough to give up his explosions for XD

But you know how I have a cinnamon roll side and then a troll side? Troll!Evans and Kimblee might actually get along really well. Imagine the suffering…

0//////0 Queen Luna is also an amazing friend! Tysm for everything <333 (I say 'tysm’ a lot but then again, there’s no such thing as too many 'thank you’s? lol. Also, I love how 'Queen Luna’ was just a joke at first but now it’s like an actual nickname I use for you. I hardly ever call you just 'Luna’ anymore XD if we ever met irl I’d probably have a hard time calling you anything other than 'queen’)

Oh wow. Sebastian will fight you for the honor of his kitties

X-men is a seperate universe from MCU, though. (I don’t watch X-men so I’m not sure but I think they and MCU agreed to share the Pietro/Wanda twins?) X-men Pietro is a different character from MCU Pietro so our Pietro is still dead ;-;

Moblit and Evans would go on friendly coffee dates and rant about their crazy queens.

Luna/Armin would be so cute, seriously why do I ship you with so many characters…and idk what puberty will do to Armin(will he even survive to go through all of it? sorry) but the fanart of adult!Armin does look good :)

And wait, 15 cm taller than Levi? I’m maybe 3~5 cm taller than him (and I’m only 13 omg) so that makes you at least 10cm taller than me.

It’s really messed up, which means I’ve gotta draw it now XD

Congratulations with Kimblee might go something like this (warning: this is crack and I’m sorta abusing Kimblee's canon abilities, realistically it probably couldn’t go like this):

Shuu: “Mr. Kimblee?!”

Kimblee: “Tsukiyama…

Congratulations.”

*blows up the clock on Shuu’s desk*

“You have invented a new kind of stupid-”

*blows up a framed picture of Shuu and Naomi*

“A 'Damage You Can Never Undo’ kind of stupid-”

*sets fire to the carpet*

“An 'Open All the Cages in the Zoo’ kind of stupid-”

*destroys the entire hecking desk*

“A 'Clearly, You Didn’t Think This Through’ kind of stupid.”

*breaks the window nearest to Shuu*

And then, at the end-

Kimblee: “Every sacrifice you make is for my sister, give her the best life-

Congratulations. :)”

*entire house collapses around them*

So you’d contract Sebastian for chocolate?

(tbh I have a sweet tooth too. I’m sorta sensitive to taste so too many sweets at once makes me get sick of them quickly, but I really like them a little at a time (and I still almost never get sick of chocolate))

ty again for the beautiful edit <3

*hugs* thank you, that really means a lot to me.

But did you see the small Kaneki painting I sent you along with the other pics? Because I actually made that as a way to vent..splattering red blood paint all over the paper did help XD (drawing doesn’t always help, though. When I’m really angry I get the urge to raise my voice and say exactly what I’m thinking, only that’d be horrible so I try to keep it down..but that just makes me angrier LOL)

the left side feels more Kanae and the right side feels more Shuu, but either way, it looks really beautiful :D <3 (also that 'I miss you’ omg I’m getting Shuu/Kaneki feels NO)

(Also I hope the Uta edit I sent you was ok? It was like almost the first aesthetic thing I’ve ever done lol

About it, though: I don’t have a pinterest so I searched stuff like 'black and white aesthetic tumblr’ on google and used the pics that popped up…is that ok? Since I’m just downloading pictures I like and playing around with them on PhotoScape with no intention to post it on the internet or show it to anyone other than you? Idek how this works, I’m way too ignorant about the internet ;-;)

Oh, that sounds cool! I don’t listen to much Ed Sheeran but liked his song for the Hobbit ('I see Fire’? I think that’s what it’s called?) and because Shape of You just keeps playing in the manhwa cafe I go to to read manga, that song kinda got stuck in my head and I can’t stop listening to it XD I don’t listen to remixes a lot for no particular reason but some of them are really cool :)

I’m currently obsessed with Hurricane, Castle, Ghost and 100 Letters by Halsey, along with a bunch of Lana Del Rey songs (going to listen to her new album as soon as I can!), Melodrama (Lorde’s new album), and Young and Menace and Champions by Fall Out Boy…also songs from Steven Universe and Adventure Time, like Love Like You and Everything Stays. And all of FMA’s openings because WOW.

(And yeah, movie/anime soundtracks are always so cool <3)

Is... Is your heart okay? I know it’s a big emotional thing! Yeee, Greed’s death was a huge shock for me as well T^T WhY Did yOu HaVE tO saY GOodByE

The only thing that really shocked me was Ed giving up his alchemy. It honestly made for a bit of an unsatisfying end, like it’s trying to make way for a sequel (that never came)

Yep, I was expecting you to be not so happy with Hoenheim... Well, at least it’s a happy death? Not in battle, but with his beloved?

TG and AoT scar people for life. Kill of their emotions, so they’re unable to cry at sad things, bc nothing is sad in comparison to those two. Except for a few rare exceptions. Oh, did I ever tell you that I always, without a fail, cry when watching a specific Love Live episode? It’s about a character that I relate to a bit too much, and since it’s a sorta bittersweet character arc, I always end up crying. The music also gets to me. I could write in detail exactly what and why XD

No problem! If you ever want more recommendations, just say so! Even though I’ll probably recommend series without you asking :P

It’s called ‘Court of Thorns and Roses’. I mean, the writing style is more or less ok, and the premise is interesting at first glance, but then everything gets ruined by the author for not being able to create a flawed MC, cause they have to be perfect! I’ve read another one of the author’s books before, but dropped it halfway, again because on an annoying MC. The only reason why I finished this one is bc it was the only reading material available XD It’s also supposed to be a spin on Beauty and the Beast, but with fairies, but it was so badly done that I genuinely didn’t realize that until I read it somewhere on the internet. It’s also one of the rare series where I intentionally don’t read the sequels. The original book was that bad I’m getting way too emotional over the book XD

Hisoka is breaking my trash-o meter! It’s over 9000!

Ah, that’s a relief... I’ve definitely started cussing a lot lately, and I know it makes some people uncomfortable, so I wanted to ask ^^

Aw, that’s actually adorable! I hope she gets better at it soon ^^ I’ve always loved listening to string instruments...

Naaah, no worries! Take your time with it! It’s no rush, honestly! Do it at a time that’s convenient to you ^^ Seriously, please don’t feel pressured to play it >_<

Let’s be honest. The possibility of Urie sacrificing himself for Mutsuki is way bigger than Urie/Saiko becoming canon. I cry when I think about it, because we all know Urie would be so much happier with Saiko (*`д´*) Ishida, whyyyyy

Right, I totally believe that. Evans, a sweet, innocent cinnamon roll who doesn't get savage at moments. Sure. Because you totally didn’t set the Flame Alchemist on fire with a burn.

I’m afraid explosions are his one true love. Maybe you could get him to paint explosions instead of making them, though. Like, ‘Ok, Kimblee, here’s paper, some paint, go wild. Just don’t set the room on fire, please.’ He’d show his soft side around you only. If there was anyone else in the room, he’d be his usual self, but with you, in private, he’d probably be a tiny bit sweet. Sometimes. Troll!Evans and Kimblee would be the actual definition of ‘Prepare for trouble, make it double’. I’d probably run away screaming when you’d announce your relationship XD I’d congratulate you later, but still a bit weary when the two of you are together.

Fun fact: I almost blush every time I read the word Queen XD If I was someone who blushed easily, I’d be an actual tomato while reading your messages ^\\\^ I’d probably actually blush if we were walking around and you called me queen... And then bury myself into a hole forever XD

I’d be the person who’d just shrug her shoulders and be like ‘we all have our opinions’. Now that I think about it, I’d probably get on just fine with Ciel XD

Ah, I see. I just remember that there was a quicksilver in one of those movies, but I didn’t remember the details.

Hanji and I would simultaneously have the glimmering glasses moment XD The parallels between the duos are really similar :P

He! Will! Survive! He has too... We already had an almost death for him, and I don’t want an actual death to happen. The cinnamon roll doesn’t deserve it. The first time I saw the fan art, my reaction was. *stares at the screen* ‘well then’ I’d liked Armin from the beginning but this was the moment in which he was cemented as favorite character XD

Aw, Evans is smol for now! When I was 13, I was shortest in class, but now I’m among the tallest. Everyone is taller than Levi... That’s just sad XD But, hey, everyone in Cinderella Phenomenon (I will not shut up) is taller than you! In fact, you’re approx. the height of the MC! Cuuute

Well, my stomach totally doesn’t hurt from laughing too much XD That’s a very destructive version of Congratulations, that would probably end up with someone getting sued XD Shuu for emotional damage, Kimblee for blowing up a fucking house.

Unfortunately, not even chocolate can make me sign a contract with that trash can. Sorry Bassy, but you’re not getting my soul.

Aw, that’s a shame... There’s never enough sweets!

I’m glad you like it ^^

You could always yell into a pillow? Or punch the pillow if you’re feeling especially angry...

So, basically, I unintentionally made a Shuu/Kanae edit. I’m not even mad XD

Yeah, it was pretty good! If you want, I can pass you some advices my friend gave to me when I stared making the edits? The quote is very Uta, tho. I mean, he does revel in other’s tragedy...

Yes, of course it is! Find pics any way you want! I’m just using pinterest because it’s easier ^^;; A lot of really artsy pics are posted there, so I quickly find what I’m looking for ^^

Yep, I think it’s called that... Most of his songs on my playlist are from his new album, but some are older as well ^^ There’s this remix of Shape Of You. I listen to it waaay too much XD I found it in an AMV and was immediately like ‘I want this song’, so I downloaded it :P

FMA has some of the best openings and closings I’ve ever heard. My favorite is probably the first one, because it’s just so so amazing *^*

I live for the fantasy fight soundtracks. A few examples are from the anime Fate/Zero or Fate/Unlimited Blade Works, like This Day and Never Again, Unlimited Blade Works and You Are My King. Those would make a snail race look epic.

AAAALSO THE RAGNAROK TRAILER IS OOUT! I adored Loki’s moment XD ‘Surprise~ This is going to be so much fun’

#evans #submission

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