#but either way. i am still so torn up about the fact that tommy didnt get a happy ending

[3rdsday]

This is a request for a c! Tommy rant

PLEASE YOUR PERSPECTIVE IS SO INTRIGUING I NEED MORE

thank you:))

Okay I've sat on this for a few days because I didn't feel like I was coherent enough to answer it but I think I'm ready now. This is probably still not super coherent but here we go:

The two rules Tommy was given when he joined the server were “no griefing” and “no stealing”.

Obviously these rules stopped being enforced pretty quickly, but it’s worth noting that Tommy immediately and blatantly disregarded and broke these rules. And I think that Tommy as a character gets punished for this throughout the rest of the story, in a sort of karmic retribution gone overboard way.

Tommy took things from others and destroyed their things, so he is not allowed to keep anything he cares about ever again.

Obviously the discs are the biggest example of this, with how many times they changed hands and were fought over and were used to taunt Tommy. But it goes so much further than that.

L’manberg gets destroyed. He gets exiled by Schlatt. Henry gets killed. L’manberg gets destroyed again. Wilbur’s dead. He gets exiled by Tubbo.

Every day in exile, Dream destroys everything Tommy has. It’s not subtle. There he is, isolated from everyone, no friends, no items, nothing. And he breaks in exile, for many reasons, but the fact that everything, everything has been taken from him, and continues to be taken from him, is a big part of that.

He leaves exile and teams up with Techno, but ultimately decides that L’manberg (Tubbo) is more important to him.

The second Tommy chooses L’manberg, he’s not allowed to have it anymore.

And that’s the thing, right? Everything Tommy loses, it’s not about what those things mean to other people, it’s about the fact that Tommy cared about them. Sure, Techno had his motivations for destroying L’manberg, but Dream? The one pulling the strings? L’manberg needed to be gone because it was what Tommy cared about.

Which was kinda Dream’s whole deal right? If he controls what people care about, he controls the server. If he has Tommy’s discs, he should be able to control Tommy… right?

Except, for as much as the discs matter to Tommy, they are far from the only thing he cares about. He gives them up willingly for L’manberg’s independence. He gives them up a second time when he realizes he’s gone too far, putting them above Tubbo and fighting his best friend. Dream can’t use the discs to control Tommy because Tommy always has other things to care about, other things that would matter to him even if the discs were gone.

So what does Dream have to do?

Take everything else away.

What started with exile comes to a head during the final disc confrontation, with Dream once again making Tommy give up all his possessions the way he’d been conditioned to do. L’manberg is already gone, Dream dealt with that before, so all that’s left is Tubbo.

But things don’t go to Dream’s plan, Tommy convinced the rest of the server to come to his aid, and Dream was defeated.

(Don’t even TALK to me about the disc confrontation being staged by Dream, I don’t want to HEAR IT. It’s not canon to me and if you think I’m wrong. No I’m not <3)

Here’s the thing, though. When Dream was about to be killed a third time, Tommy is stopped by the chance that Dream could revive Wilbur.

Tommy has lost so much, over and over, and the chance to get his brother back is too much for him to go through with killing Dream.

Maybe Dream lost the confrontation, but he still found a way to use Tommy’s attachments against him.

So Dream is put in prison, Tommy has his discs back and, more importantly, Tubbo back. Maybe it’s not everything he once had, but it’s a lot more than he once did.

And then he goes to visit Dream. And Dream kills him.

Limbo is different for every character, but it’s generally supposed to be an experience that’s torturous. And all it takes for Limbo to be the worst thing Tommy has ever experienced is… nothing.

His Limbo is empty.

For all that he lost during exile, during the lowest point of his life… he’s left with even less than death.

All that’s there is the voice of a brother he couldn’t give up attachment to, who is no longer the brother he knew and loved. Who taunts and torments him during his time in that empty void. Wilbur might be there, but Tommy doesn’t even have his brother in Limbo. Not really.

And it kills me because Tommy is, or rather was, such an optimistic character. Not so much in the sense that he had a constant positive outlook, because clearly that wasn’t the case much of the time. But he could have his home destroyed and his friends turned against him and his possessions taken and his pets killed over and over and over and over again, and still find a way to keep going. Still find things to care about.

It generally took very little to make Tommy happy. He loved dirt huts and cobblestone towers and spiders and things that meant nothing to anyone else, that anyone else would treat with neutrality if not negativity.

But in Limbo there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Everything he had, gone.

Even his life was taken from him.

And in the aftermath, after his revival, he was never the same. He didn’t belong among the living, another thing that was taken from him. Wilbur was revived, but Wilbur was so different from the brother Tommy knew. Even then, Wilbur left him in the end.

I hate the finale for a lot of reasons, so I’m not going to go into it much. But the story ends with Tommy dead, again. Is he in Limbo again? Who knows. But Tommy was never allowed to keep anything, and the ending solidified this as true.

I started this by saying that Tommy was punished for breaking the rules of the server. And I think it’s interesting to read the story that way, where Tommy’s relatively small crimes end up resulting in him losing everything again and again and never breaking free of it. This is a story where gods and higher beings exist and are willing to interfere with the lives of the characters, so I don’t think it’s too far fetched to see this as a warped degree of karma. But I also think that what Tommy is punished for, perhaps more than the rule breaking, is the fact that he cares so much. He found joy and love in everything, so he was left with nothing. Because the Dream SMP is a cruel world controlled by a cruel man who became obsessed with Tommy. And Tommy paid the price, but he also never stopped caring for the things that mattered to him. He could be broken but not defeated, not as long as there was more for him to love.

Unfortunately, the story demanded his defeat, one way or another.

And that’s why his Limbo is empty.

[ghostlysenses]

I know who you pretend I am

Decided to make a very angsty SBI x reader

Parent! Philza, Sibling! techno, Sibling! tommyinnit x reader

mostly Parent!philza x reader

your the youngest of the SBI

you are 7

Tw: Sadness, mentions of death, spoilers, swearing, mentions of not having a identity or personality, living in someone else’s shadow

Wilbur had died about a month ago...

it had taken a huge toll on the family, Wilburs room is still the way it always look but somehow it manages to feel empty...

you dont go in his room that often anymore, you find no need too.

They say the first thing you forget about someone is their voice...and boy were they right

the first night when you realized you couldn’t remember his voice you had a breakdown.

You had forgotten your older brothers voice and if you could forget that...what else would you forget?

Days passed, Tommy was running around, you and him hung out a lot, he would being you with him on adventures and cheer you on in battles. You fought amazingly, each cheer making you happier and helping you fight better.

you noticed he was a lot happier now, and that made you a lot happier, you’re happy for him.

when you weren’t hanging out with tommy you were with techno

he would read you greek mythology to sleep sometimes, and on the nights you couldn’t sleep you would go to his room, he’d let you in, and youd fall asleep on his chest.

He knew your nightmares were getting worse...

He would tell you about the great potato war, and share some fun facts about animals, greek mythology, the neather, and places he visited.

As someone who is very loud and out going, you weren’t that loud around techno. He enjoyed spending peaceful quiet time with you, and he knows you needed it.

The voices adored you! they would talk about ways he should protect you, and anytime you would come into his room with a nightmare theyd always be like

“𝕒𝕨𝕨𝕨, 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞! 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪'𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕤𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕝, 𝕆𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕓 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥”

When you aren’t spending time with either of the boys

you are around Dadza

all

the

time

Unless your sleeping or using the restroom or showering.

You and him would do things like going for walks, playing outside, gardening, etc.

He’d take you to parks

he even knitted you a beanie!

he would give you awesome gifts!

he spoiled you, and treated you amazingly

He gave a guitar this year for your birthday and you couldn’t be happier, Wilbur taught you how to play and you couldnt wait to write songs.

You and him were an amazing father, kid, duo.

and you stuck by his side ever since!

but when you were 15 you realized what he was doing....

you realized everything.

the gift of a yellow sweater

guitar

him knitting you a beanie...

he wanted to use you to replace wilbur...

he....he was acting like you were wilbur...

he treated you like wilbur and not like yourself...

you had Wilburs identity instead of your own...

when you realized this you broke down, you collapsed in the middle of your bedroom, crying and sobbing, you looked over at the guitar he gave you, you grabbed it and smashed it into the wall shaking photo frames, some falling. you ripped the beanie off your head and threw it the ground stomping on it then collapsing again crying.

——————— Earlier with Philza (i know its out of the blue but go with me here)———————————

2 years ago

Phil and techno and tommy were talking

“Dad you’re treating then like wilbur instead of her own person”

“no im not! theyre their own person”

“you gave them a guitar! you even handed them a LMANBURG flag! dadza you’re trying to make them turn out like Will!”

philza huffed and stomped away, but later that night he thought about it and realized they were right...

but he didnt stop

——-back to the present——-

Philza ran up the stairs and into your room to check on you

“Kiddo? i heard something smashhh”

he went quiet, your room was a total fucking disaster

you were sobbing

“im not him! im not wilbur!” you kept mumbling to yourself.

Philza heard and walked over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder

“kiddo-“

“I know who you pretend i am” you cut him off..

he was taken aback...

and your next words broke his heart

“I dont have my own identity, i dont have my own personality, i have wilburs, both his identity and personality...”

then you looked up at him, tears streaming down your face, you looked so so so broken...so tired...so torn down.

“Im not who you pretend I am...but I will forever have the personality and identity of that person”

what you and him didnt notice was tommy and techno in the background

both of them very disappointed at their dad

and both of them hurting because they know

that you will forever live in Wilbur shadow

and that due to yours and their father

you

will

never

ever

have

your own

identity

[crowsent]

PRECIOUS SMILE

i dont think youre the ponytailed god i saw in flashes bc you seem to be smiling and he was all broody and shit but damn the CHARACTER DESIGN

but moving on

HELLO CHARACTER DYNAMIC

i live for “intimidating angry person” getting cowed by “sunshine smaller person” its SUCH a good dynamic hello motherfucker wit yo height differences too

six minutes into this goddamn anime and i am ASSAULTED with good character design and dynamics. “wait. is that you ryouhei?” said with a confused voice fucking GETS me

oh my god

im lov

ryouhei gives me big big himbo energy too

“reincarnation” turned to fucking CPR and ZOMBIES. plus his voice sounds so so familiar. like. weird familiar. ryouhei’s voice gives me BIG VIBES and im not sure WHOSE vibes but im reasonably certain ive heard his voice before

8 mins in so far and this anime is not disappointing. the animation and camera movement when the kyudo range was revealed was just 👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i mean.

the wind blowing leaves over such an empty area to bring colour and life to something that was previously described as “dead” and needing to be “reincarnated” the panning reveal of the bows and the shrine and the range. the look of absolute wonder in protagonist’s eyes and the understanding look in seiya’s eyes at narumiya’s amazement

everything about it was just beautiful

and the fucking dead mother backstory just kicked in

for a sports anime. the fact that narumiiya has a dead parent and has to pick up the slack and thus be torn from his passion really adds a layer of depth into everything. bc you feel for him. you want him to pursue kyudo bc you see just how much he WANTS it. but at the same time, you understand why he chooses not to

and the music

the music that plays when he bikes his way home, the sombre piano and the sight of him coming home to an empty house. his mom’s writing on a whiteboard telling narumiya she won’t have any business trips. the picture of her smiling. cut to narumiya praying at her altar. the dark confines of the house and how it contrasts with the freedom and light of the kyudo range. the sadness of narumiya’s inner monologue when his father tells him hed be late. then this

the bag. the “treasure” he was mentioned to carry around

for a first episode, it introduces so many characters i have a hard time remembering their names but it does a damn good job of counterbalancing that with the intrigue around narumiya

you want to know more about his past. you want to know whats in the bag. you want to know this and that and for a first ep that offloads so many characters on you, the focus is still kept on narumiya and just. good shit

and did i mention the music was good? bc the music was good

the piano in this scene is just delicious. not the best, but its very evocative of the feeling of wistfulness. of longing. of nostalgia and the memory of better days. i want these three best friends to do kyudo again and just

im lov

im lov this boi too

big kageyama tobio vibes

maybe its the voice, sounds kinda similar, but maybe its the “this sport is my life” vibe but also

KACCHAN

KACCHAN MOTHERFUCKER

im sorry but im going to be over here fucking choking

the fucking sibling dynamic is strong and i am over here fucking losing my shit

technically its cousin dynamic but STILL

kacchan

wont be able to get over that

wont be able to get over the whispered “good job, ryouhei” either. bless his va

the whispered “good” when tommy-sensei conscripts narumiya into firing an arrow too.

bless his va.

HE CARRIES HIS OWN GLOVE

ITS A GLOVE

the mystery has been RESOLVED

but technically no bc theres still so much intrigue about him

and that intrigue is killing me slowly

bc “last time”????

what happened “last time”???????

jfc

FUCKING

HELLO BITCH

HELLO MOTHERFUCKER

HELLO CHARACTER DESIGN

what the fuck

what the fuck

this is the exact same clip from that one mep i saw that made me wan watch this anime

I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO SHOW UP IN THE FIRST GODDAMN EPISODE

HELLO MOTHERFUCKER

HELLO MOTHERFUCKER

OH MY GOD