#but either way i need the others to find out so i can see the Disappointed Dad & Brother energy djkfjg

[shanastoryteller]

Happy love day Shana! Could I ask you for either WWX and Jiang Yanli run away or for the AU where John never goes missing and Sam stays at Stanford and he and Jess get married and then Jess calls Dean and John when Sam goes missing (from this post: https://www.tumblr.com/shanastoryteller/766664341635448832/au-where-john-doesnt-go-missing-dean-never-gets) ? It's too hard to pick between those, they're both so good!!

a continuation of 1

Dean's just getting off from a salt and burn when he gets a call from an unknown number and almost doesn’t answer it. He needs bed and a shower and not in that order, but you can never know in this profession, so he rubs a hand over his face and says, “Hey.”

There’s a girl and she’s crying and that’s already waking him up when she says, “Dean?”

“That’s me, sweetheart,” he says, not recognizing her voice. He’ll figure out how she got his number later. “You okay?”

She takes a steadying breath. “Sam’s in trouble and I need your help.”

His blood goes cold. Sam. His little brother who he hasn’t spoken to in five years.

She won’t get into specifics, only gives him an address in San Francisco and tells him to get there as fast as he can. He curses down the line and she just hangs up on him. He almost calls her back, but he figures the fastest way to get some answers is to get his ass over there like she told him too.

But first, he has to call Dad.

John not the most reliable form of backup, Dean’s been hunting mostly on his own for years, and at least half the time Dean says that he could use a hand, he gets brushed off, but Dad will come this time.

He’ll come for Sam.

~

The smoking hot blonde who answers the door is tall and steel eyed and has an engagement ring and wedding band on her left hand which Dean doesn’t think much about until she’s looking them head on and says, “Dean, John. I’m Jessica Winchester. We need to find Sam.”

Even Dad – grim and closed mouth with an edge of fury to him that Dean hasn’t seen since Flagstaff – goes blank, staring at her in shock. Dean doesn’t know what his own face is doing.

“Come on,” she says, nudging the door open further. “Anything could be happening to him right now.”

“Wait,” he says. “You’re-”

“Sam and I got married last year,” she says. “We don’t have time for this. Azazel has Sam.”

“Who’s Azazel?” he asks, following her inside. It’s a nice apartment, decent, full of shit like throw pillows and matching dishes and all the things Sam used to crave so badly. The kitchen table is piled with books and papers, thick tomes the likes of which he’s used to seeing at Bobby’s and nowhere else. How did she pull this all together so quickly? She only called him seven hours ago and most of that was the middle of the night.

Unless they already had it. But that doesn’t make sense. Sammy left them, left hunting, why would he –

Jessica rolls her eyes. They’re red, but it seems she’s moved on from the tears to militant determination, but Dean’s still reeling. “The yellow eyed demon.”

Dad goes completely still.

“The what?” he asks.

“The thing that killed your mom,” she says impatiently.

He’s barely processed that when Dad says, “You found it.”

“We found the other kids it targeted,” she says, eyes and voice going colder than when she’d just been speaking to him. “Sam started getting visions a couple years ago and we found a couple of the other psychic kids and then some more. A few months ago they started going missing and we haven’t found any of them. It’s always sulphur and anyone in the same room left for dead. It’s Azazel. He was taking them and now he’s taken Sam and I can’t do this on my own so I called you.” She glares at both of them. “Don’t make me regret it.”

~

Sam wakes up alone in an abandoned town with a splitting headache. Jess is nowhere that he can see, which is good, he thinks. His phone is dead and he’s thinking it’s some sort of ghost or something until he literally walks into Andy.

“Sam!” he says in relief, gripping onto his sleeve. “Oh man, am I happy to see you!”

Ansem, who Sam still thinks isn’t quite sane most days, snorts and crosses his arms. “Yeah, are you? Because if we’re here and Sam’s here that means we’ve probably been taken like all the others. That we haven’t been able to find and have never heard from again.”

Andy wilts. “Oh, right.”

“Come on,” Sam says. “How’s your–”

“Not as good as yours,” Andy says. Ansem frowns. “It’s not and you know it. We all have our specialties for a reason.”

That’s fine. They’re going to figure this out. Jess must have noticed him missing by now and she’ll be looking for him. He doesn’t think about how they’ve been looking for the others for months with no luck.

They hear a scream and they’re running towards it. There’s someone trapped in what looks like an old outhouse, pounding on the door so hard it rattles. Sam doesn’t even think about it, he makes a yanking motion with his hand so the door flies off the hinges and out tumbles Ava.

Who’s been missing for months.

She stumbles out, breathing in air greedily, but she’s already backing away from them, shaking her head, her hands held out. “Don’t make me – I’ll do it, I’ve done it before, but I won’t, not if you don’t make me – please don’t make me–”

“AVA!” he shouts, reaching out for her. She shoves him back, or tries to, but his telekinesis is a lot stronger than hers and there’s nothing she can do to stop him from striding forward and grabbing her shoulders.

She’s struggling against him, nails digging into his arms. “I’ll do it, don’t make me do it, I don’t want to, but I will, I will I will I will!”

He shakes her. “AVA! Stop, calm down. It’s Sam. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

She stops, finally raising her head enough to look at him. There’s something crazed and desperate about her that wasn’t there when he saw her last. She was scared like they were all scared, but she wasn’t like this. “They always say that in the beginning and then they make me do it.”

“Do what, Ava?” he asks, trying to keep his grip form being bruising now that she’s not fighting against him.

Her eyes fill with tears and she whispers, “Kill them.”

He hears Andy go, “Woah, holy shit,” behind him and then the sound of Ansem hitting him.

“No one is killing anyone,” he says firmly. “I’m not killing you and you’re not killing me. Okay?”

“I don’t like it,” she says intensely. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Ava,” he says, ducking down so she has no choice but to look him in the eye. “You don’t have to, okay? If something, who is not one of us, needs killing, then I’ll do it.”

“I can help too,” Ansem says. Then, “Ow!” as Andy steps on his foot.

Her face softens into something that’s finally familiar and her lips twitch up. She leans around Sam and says, “Hi guys.”

“Hi Ava,” they say in unison.

Sam’s starting to get why Dad was always creeped out by him and Dean doing that. “What’s going on? Are you okay? We’ve been looking for you.”

“We thought you were dead,” Ansem says.

Andy adds, “But we’re really glad you’re not!”  

Jesus.

Ava swallows. “They show up in groups. Some we knew, some we didn’t. Sometimes everyone gets along and agrees to work together. Sometimes the backstabbing starts quickly. Azazel is here and if people aren’t killing each other quickly enough, he whispers to them, manipulates them, turns us against each other.”

“Been there, done that,” Ansem says.

Ava doesn’t so much as twitch. “Until it’s just me and them and no one will listen to me, Sam, they keep not listening, until it’s me or them and I don’t want to do it, but I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die. So I kill them and then it’s just me and then I wake up trapped again until someone gets me out.” Her voice drops. “No matter what I do, I can never get myself out.”

“It’s okay,” he says, even though he feels sick. Of all the possibilities they’d considered, this wasn’t one of them. “We’re going to stick together and figure this out. We’ll get out of here.” He pauses. “Where is here?”

“If you try and walk out, the demons stop you. Some die that way,” she says. “I don’t know. It’s been weeks and it’s already getting warmer, so I’d say somewhere in the middle of America? But everything here is old and no one's phones ever have any service.”

Okay, that’s all bad news, but, “Weeks? Ava, it’s May. You’ve been missing since February.”

She stares, yanking on the edge of her shirt anxiously. “What? No. That can’t – that can’t be right. The days sort blur, but it can’t be – that’s not possible. It hasn’t been that long.”

“When you’re the last one, you just wake up to it starting all over again, right?” Ansem asks. “People haven’t been disappearing all at once. Not the ones we know about, anyway.”

“What? You think Azazel is putting me in some sort of – that he’s just keeping me on ice or something in between,” she cuts herself off, fine tremors in her hands.

Sam hugs her, folding her against him and digging his chin into the top of her head, just like he hugged her the first time she had a panic attack in her kitchen. As if Azazel bleeding in all their mouths as babies wasn’t bad enough, he’s now put Ava through actual hell, turning her into something she never wanted to be and doing who knows what with her body in between. The comforting platitudes are starting to sound false, even though he means them, so he just holds her and lets her cry herself out.

Eventually she gently pushes away from him and rubs her sleeve over her eyes. “Sorry. I – sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he says gently. “You’re my friend. We’re going to get out of this together. I’m sorry I wasn’t there before, but I’m here now, okay?”

Her eyes are red and her face is swollen and this time when she smiles, he almost recognizes her. “Okay.”

“Uh,” Andy says nervously, stepping behind Sam and dragging Ansem with him. “We’ve got company.”

He turns and sees someone’s just turned a corner at the other end of the street with his back to them and he’s halfway to pushing Ava towards Andy when he gets close enough for Sam to recognize. His shoulders slump and he shouts, “JAKE! Hey!”

Jake pauses, turning towards them and a grin breaking out across his face as he jogs in their direction. “What the hell? I was in Afghanistan, man.”

“Have fun explaining this to your CO,” he says. If they make it out of here alive.

~

Jess doesn’t know if she’s done the right thing by calling Dean.

It wouldn’t be so bad if John wasn’t here, she doesn’t think, but she’d known better than wasting her breath trying to convince him not to call him. But Sam’s said over and over again that his father’s a good hunter, a good tracker, and they need that right now.

They’ve been losing people, one after another, and it felt like a noose tightening around their necks. And now Sam’s missing and what they’d been doing hadn’t been working so she’d done something else.

He’s still alive. He has to be.

Please let him still be alive. She can’t do this on her own.

“We have to leave for the airport in an hour to pick some people up,” she says. “Lily and Scott’s planes are landing about forty minutes apart.”

“Who’re are they?” John asks.

She swallows down something biting. “Lily can stop hearts and Scott electrocutes things. They’re friends and they’re going to help.”

John’s lips press together but he doesn’t say anything. Dean looks like he’s waiting for a punchline, but it’s no joke.

They’d kept everyone apart before, thinking it would just cause Azazel to take them all together, but that hadn’t done shit and now Sam is gone.

Neither Lily nor Scott had even hesitated. They’d been scared and desperate and confused when she and Sam had met them, like so many of the others, and Sam had been comforting and kind and told them that they weren’t alone, he’d been the one to help them figure out their powers and the one they called when they had nightmares and now he’s gone.

Jess doesn’t know what she’s going to do if they do find Azazel, but she knows she’ll feel a lot better about it with two powerful psychics on their side.

John is stone faced as he looks over their research, but he hadn’t been all that surprised, just like Sam had expected. Dean is still in shock and she’s not even sure which part is throwing him the most – Azazel, Sam being psychic, or that he has a sister-in-law that he’s never met.

They hadn’t had groomsmen or bridesmaids at their wedding. Even after four years of silence, Sam hadn’t felt right about anything else and Jess hadn’t pushed. It kept costs down, at any rate.

He’d been convinced that John and Dean would care more about Sam having Azazel’s blood than theirs. She doesn’t tell them that part, doesn’t tell them anything she doesn’t have to, but she wonders at it, that Sam could both be that convinced they’d hate him for something he couldn’t help and love them that deeply.

Based on the stories, she’d believed it more easily of John than Dean, but she doesn’t know either of them. Not really.

She just knows that she needs Sam and she needs help and as long as they find him, they can figure out the rest later.  

[reverieblondie]

Bad Dream

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Nightmares, Mysterious passes, Breaking and entering, Panic attack, Breaking washers, Bucky touches your underwear (whoops...)

Summary: You and Bucky are not only neighbors but friends for months now. You two are close... but are still finding out new things about each other...

Word Count: 2,613

A/N: This was inspired by an amazing request got from an anon. I loved the idea so much that I can see this being turned into a full series if enough people like it! Just let me know! I look forward to feedback like always! and request are always open!

"So... What am I eating?"  

Bucky says almost suspiciously as he looks at the macaroni noodle on his fork.

"I can not believe you are so picky," you say, rolling your eyes before taking a delightful bite of the casserole dish you made. Once swallowed, you point your fork accusingly toward Bucky. "It's called tuna mac. It's cheap to make but delicious. Now you can either eat it, or I will stop being such a friendly neighbor and stop sharing my dinners with you."

Bucky chuckles before giving you his signature smirk, "If that's the case, don't come knocking on my door when something of yours breaks again." 

You huff, he doesn't play fair. 

He watches as you pout and sigh before he takes the macaroni and tuna mix into his mouth. When he eats it, his eyes bulge slightly. "That's actually really good?"

"See, you just need to trust me, neighbor. It's something my mom used to make. Boil noodles, mix up the sauce, and top with cheese. It tastes better than it sounds." 

Bucky smiles as you ramble on. When you look over at him, he looks back to his plate, mixing it around as he makes a face before eating more. "That's true. This is way better than that chicken we had last Thursday."  

"Hey! We agreed to forget that monstrosity!"

Of course, Bucky laughs at your dramatics, and you can't help but echo it back. Thursday night dinners have become your favorite tradition since moving in; no matter how shitty your week could have been, this always lifts up your spirits, even just a little bit. Most people in your building seem to avoid Bucky; they won't join him in the elevator or even greet him in the mailboxes. They judge his past... but who are you to judge? Though getting to know him didn't happen instantly, it happened because of an accident you might have caused…

You have been fighting with these washers and dryers since you moved in. And now here you are fighting again with the washer. The stupid thing won't spin, and it's starting to flood with water. You paused the cycle and knew that you should just ask the maintenance guy for help, but that has the risk of being blamed for it being broken.

Distracted, you don't notice someone walking in to use the other machines. Honestly, it's surprising someone else is up this late just to do their laundry. So much for not running into anyone while you're dressed in your lazy day pajamas—no bra just to add to the pending embarrassment… Trying your best to keep your head down and fix the machine as silently as possible, you didn't realize that your rattling around has definitely drawn attention. 

Until a shadow is cast over you. Turning slightly, you look up at the imposing figure and see your next-door neighbor. James Barnes... Ex Winter soldier and a current Avenger... 

His head tilts as he stares down at you, "Problem?" 

This is the first time you have really seen him up close… he's much taller than you thought, and his eyes are the clearest shade of blue… While you're silently coking, Bucky shifts on his feet, his scowl deepening as he continues to stare. Mentally, you chastise yourself for being rude and pull your hand from the filled drum to offer him a handshake, stumbling out your name in the process. This was a mistake, however, because you ended up splashing the super soldier with washer water… -Shit… 

"I'm sorry, and yeah, I'm just trying to get this washer to work… they never want to act right… old machines acting wonky, what's new?" You huff a laugh, but Bucky keeps looking at you unamused… ah yes… he's an old machine, you idiot… 

You quickly take another step closer in panic mode, "Oh! But not all old machines! My grandma had a vacuum for like 20 years, and it never crapped out on her!" -what are you even saying? 

Buck just further scoles you, keeping his eyes locked on yours. Honestly, it's a bit intimidating—his intense stare locked onto you. Then there's the fact that his glare doesn't roam—it's just set on your eyes. Plus, you're just rambling on, and he's just watching you like you have lost your mind! You can't afford to move again… 

"Why don't you just call for maintenance?" he says in a confused tone, his brows knitting together.  

You give him a gentle smile, "I don't want to be blamed for breaking it…" 

He doesn't seem too impressed with your excuse as he rolls his eyes, but to your surprise, instead of walking away, leaving you to struggle, he places his laundry down and begins to investigate the machine. 

You step closer to him, "So you're going to help me?" you chirp.

"I'm going to try, but if it breaks further, that's on you…" -Okay can't really blame him for that..

"Fair enough, neighbor." he only seems to hum at that before continuing his investigation. 

He does his diligence checking everything out; while he does that, you're doing your own checking out. It's not like you're trying to be a perv.... but curiosity always gets the cat in the end, so you allow yourself to check him out a little. His back faces you, and it's incredible how sturdy it appears; you can even see how the muscles ripple with every move despite it being hidden underneath his t-shirt. Then his narrow waist that draws your attention down the length of him, and his arms bulging with every move as it roots around on the inside of the drum. The dark metal arm is so eye-catching you can't help but stare even though you know you shouldn't... If you were caught, you would be modified by how rude it would be. But you can't help yourself from admiring how pretty it truly is… and the craftsmanship is impeccable… 

"I think something is just caught if I can unwrap it…" With another pull and a slight groan, he rips out what was caught. Surprisingly, it's Small... red and- 

Bucky holds up the dripping wet material, and now that he has it unscrambled, you are mortified... Of course, out of everything to get tangled up and caught, it had to be your thong. Turning it about, Bucky looks at the material confused, unsure, until he meets your mortified eyes and flushed face. It must suddenly click for the man that he's holding a stranger's underwear because, with the inhuman speed, he's met with realization and he's practically throwing your underwear at you like it would bite him. 

The flush of his neck and the way he suddenly does not meet your eyes tells you he's thoroughly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, ma'am…" Ma'am? Wow, now he's talking to you properly; he really is embarrassed...

It's quiet for a moment as Bucky awkwardly shifts on his feet. Then you can't help yourself any longer, and you laugh. You laugh so hard you all but fall over yourself, and to your shock, Bucky breaks from his mortification and joins in on your laughter.

The moment lasted for a while until you were both on the verge of tears. As you wipe away your tears, you catch him smiling, and it's like looking at a completely different guy. If people saw this, they wouldn't be avoiding him, that's for sure. 

With the washer fixed, you could finish your laundry cycle as Bucky moved to start his. As you're turning to thank your helpful neighbor, he is gone? Scanning the room, you see him leaving, shit! 

"James!" You shout without thinking. He pauses before turning back with a small smirk. 

"Don't tell me you broke something else." 

He's… teasing you? A grin spreads to your face, "I wanted to thank you for helping me out." 

He shrugged, "It's no problem. But call me Bucky; when you say James, it makes me feel old." With that, he walked off. 

Days later, you were still troubled by the feeling you didn't get to properly thank your neighbor for saving your panties from doom. So you did the only thing you could think of. Making him food. Make sure debts and gratitude are always paid... it's something you picked up from both your parents, but where your dad made sure to do it with favors and money, your mom would always pay by making desserts and meals. So, in your situation, you decided on a platter of brownies.

The look on his face when you knocked on his door was priceless. Of course, he accepted, and thus, the cycle between you two started. You would have a favor, Bucky would help, and then you would make him a meal or dessert. Over time, Bucky's grumpiness was replaced with friendliness, and your friendship got stronger. Even though you had fewer favors, you two continued the tradition of eating a home-cooked meal together once a week until suddenly, it was odd if you were not seeing him.

Like now...

It's been three weeks since you last saw him. It's honestly so lonely in the building without him around. Sure, he's not talkative all the time, and there are still things you know you two have not shared, but it's undeniable this closeness you feel to him.

You just hope you get to see him soon, or you will be forced to break something and force him to come back…

It's another quiet night. It should be a night that you rest easy, drifting far off into dreamland. But you just can't seem to fall asleep. Perhaps it's the fault of a certain super soldier's absence. As you lay pondering whether you should just force yourself to rest or get up and do something until you're tired…

Then, loud bangs from the neighboring wall interrupted the stillness. On instinct, you freeze and try to listen to where the crashing is coming from. 

Bucky's place... but that's odd; he's not home. Or did you just miss him? Another crash makes you second guess that it could be a break in… 

But who would be dumb enough to break into a super soldier's apartment?

Apparently, you are...

It is technically breaking and entering, but is it bad if you do it for a good reason? What if someone is wreaking his place? What if he's in danger? What will you do if you actually run into someone? You will deal with that once you encounter it…

You ignore that for now as you concentrate on picking the lock... You hated it then, but you're now thankful for the skill at times like this. It clicks with a few more twists, and you're now sneaking through the threshold.

It's the same place you have been in multiple times, but tonight, you see the crumble of blankets on the living room floor, the flipped furniture, the mess of wreckage. Then you see the more heart-aching sight in the room's darkness. 

Bucky usually stands tall and has that sly smirk for you with some greeting. Now, he is crouched so small, disheveled, and trembling. Those ocean-blue eyes clenched tightly...

A step towards him immediately has him on the defense, ready to pounce.

But he pauses at the sight of you, confused, rightly so. But you're more distracted by how the outside lights reflect on the streams down his cheeks.

You're about to say something, but his hoarse voice cuts you off before you can, "Get out!".

You should really listen, but as he sinks back to the floor, your feet feel like lead. With a swallow and a steadying breath, you step closer. He should understand by now that you're not one for listening. 

Closer now, you can take in his sweat-drenched body and matted hair and how he tries to stop shaking... Thousands of questions flock to you; you just swallow them down. Slowly, you sit close enough to be noticed but not enough to touch him…

Settled beside him, you hold your hand towards him on the floor, making a silent offer. "I'll stay for as long as it takes..." 

It could take minutes or hours. There is also the chance of him lashing out, but you will just be silent and patient and let him feel your presence and hear your calm breaths.

You're there for a couple of minutes until a clammy warmth touches your hand. Looking down, you can tell the shaking has stopped a little. You spread your fingers and let him lace them with his own. 

"I... don't know what to say..." he mumbles, but you shake your head before meeting his eyes.

"You don't have to explain... We all have scars... Bad dreams. "

"Every night I have bad dreams... Sometimes, I just randomly shake awake."

"Other times, you just lay there waiting for the sun to rise."

The look he gives you tells you he's shared the experience. You shrug and look out the window, "Like I said... bad dreams."

As you two sit there, his shaking slowly stills, but your hand's grip only tightens. 

"I'm sorry..." It was such a silent whisper that you almost didn't hear it. Bucky, tired, and a wreck, brought back memories you thought were packed away. 

"Don't be sorry. Let's just work on getting you cleaned up. Are you good enough to rinse off?"

Bucky nods before standing up... He walks towards his bathroom but pauses just short... He has his own set of questions he wants to ask... One of them is clear to you... are you going to stay... 

"I'll clean for a bit and will brew some tea for, when you get out. Okay?" 

He gives a short nod before disappearing. You start placing what you can remember being placed before. It takes you a minute to get everything back in its place. Sure, this place was a mess, but you have had to fix the fallout of worse. Once done, you move on to the kitchen to brew the tea. As the water heats, you just listen to the muffled sound of the shower. Does this happen often? And if so, how have you never noticed before?

Bucky takes longer to wash off than you expected, but ultimately, it's a good thing he took the time for himself. When he finally comes out of the bathroom, he's only in pajama bottoms, a towel resting on his shoulder, and fixing his metal arm back into place. His hair is still dripping wet when he finally plops down on the couch. For a long moment, he's still thinking of what to say, but you just slide the peppermint tea over to him.

Bucky gives a small thank you before he lifts the cup, letting the smell waft to his nose and the cup warm his hand. When he finally takes a sip, you feel like you can breathe again. While he works on his tea, you notice the drops falling from his hair and landing on his skin, causing him to shiver. He didn't even bother to dry his hair, huh? Carefully, you take the towel from his shoulder and softly start to dry his wet hair away. Bucky looks at you curiously as you focus on the task before you. 

"Why are you so good at this?" 

"Like I said, everyone gets bad dreams. Some worse than others." 

He hums before slightly chuckling, "Is that also why you know how to break into apartments?"

The playful tone in his voice makes your heart squeeze, and you can't help but grin, "You're not the only one with secrets, soldier boy." 

[merelylillies]

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Note: ‘‘Ovulating every other fucking day...RELEASE ME,,

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Fandom: Hoyoverse’s Genshin Impact

Pairing: (Fem.)Reader x Malipo Kinich

Content Warnings: (NSFW) Headcanons, Praise, Slight Teasing

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Kinich in bed? Yeah, okay, I'd die happy. Kinich is extremely level-headed, always calm if not borderline disinterested. He isn't usually one for sugarcoating his attitude or sweet talking but you can bet your ass that nonchalant attitude 180s once you hit the sheets.

Personally headcannon him as a switch, leaning top, and heck, even if you're the one topping, are you actually the one in control? He'd so be the type to lean back, either with his back to the headboard or fully lying down, and watch you do your thing with unfiltered amusement in his eyes. He'd be a tease, not in the sense that he'd edge your release, but rather, he'd help it build faster than you can help it. "You doing okay up there?" he'd speak up with a barely hidden huff of laughter. "Need my help? Sure looks like you're doing just fine on your own.".

He'd keep eye contact with you, and if you blinked for a second too long, he'd be on you in an instant. "What? Is it too much?" he'd sit up, his chest against yours, quickly rising and falling, "Keep your eyes on me, cmon". If you started to get fidgety and visibly close, he'd grab your hips and help your movements meet his, "Mmm feel that?" you'd squeeze around him and he'd choke out a, "Oh I know you do..". He's the type to smile, smirk, grin, so proudly, so smugly as he sees bliss wash over you, and keep his grip firm on your hips or thighs, making sure you stay right there, so you could feel him twitch inside you when he hears you moan as you release. Want you to be fully made aware of how you make him feel.

If he found out you were into praise, oh, how he'd never let you hear the end of it. You're already struggling to breathe, and he'd just smugly let it slip past his lips; "Yeah? You're doing so fucking well.". He'd layer it on thick, making you constantly stumble over your own breaths and always finding a new way to let his words really get to you, really get you there. "Is this what you needed pretty girl?" he hums hovering above you, his small grunts near your ear as he gets closer, "Because fuck this is what I've been thinking of all day," he relishes in the small trembls traveling your spine, "daydreaming of how good you'd feel, how you'd look so good for me, and be so good for me".

He'd know. You're ovulating? He knows. You're just in the mood? He knows. Stressed? Yup. Pent-up? Uh huh. Needy? He's already smiling at you knowingly. "Don't be shy," he'd look at you intently, "I'm not going to judge you, especially not for wanting this.". I don't think he's the type to make you admit your desires outright or make you beg for it, I think if anything, he enjoys the act of being proven right enough. He'll go along with your actions if you're too shy to voice your needs, and instead will just make little adjustments to fit what you fantasized about this time. "There." He'd manhandle you into a different pose, shift himself behind you, voice near your neck, like you'd secretly wanted him to, "This better?".

Would be completely normal about taking care of himself in front of you, or casually when you're together, or sharing the same space. That's one of the benefits to his usual lack of care; if he got hot and bothered, he'd palm himself without a second thought. You just came home from your outing, and you make your way to the bedroom? Yeah, he's on your bed, hand down his baggy pants and panting, moaning every now and then, loudly. He knows you're there, he just doesn't give a shit. In fact, he'd force himself to go faster, to tease more, and just overall make his voice needier, and whinier, and if he's feeling like you need to hear it, he'll let even a whimper slip. He's well aware you get off on his pleasure as well, and would immediately beckon you over to finger you deep if you felt your core heat up watching him. He's running the fingers along your walls, thumb rubbing onto your most sensitive part as he'd speak quietly, "You liked it? I'm glad" he's chuckling, "I'll do it more often then" and the fingers are slipping in and out so easily and they feel so fucking good but all he says is "There we go," with a smitten smile.

[cookies-after-dark]

BRO AND W/ THE BEAST SOUNDS

i think they have?? multiple grows?? stay with me now-

there's growls that are mildly threatening, smth small that are used as a warning (think of like,, animals getting nipped during play and they get annoyed; it's a sort of growl that says "hey i didn't like that")

AND THEN there's the growls that are actually threatening, like they're wildly pissed off, and in my head they sound eldritch, like something you would never hear on earthbread, something that awakens primal fear in cookies (altho all growls sound different, they cause the same effect)

i can imagine w/ all the beasts in yandere contexts (altho smilk is always on my mind), when their darling escapes that growl leaves them and the jam (?) of everyone around gets cold. or they catch their darling mid-escape attempt and growl like that, to scare the darling out of ever trying that again (picture smilk growling like that while his darling is almost out of the spire, the darling freezes, and he picks them up by the scruff and drags them back to his bedroom *ahem, nest*, no words needed; as a side note, i think the darling would never expect a sound like that to leave smilk, which is even more terrifying and they remember that truly, at the end of the day, they're dealing w/ an eldritch god)

eldritch beasts my beloveds

additional tags: yanderes, unhealthy relationship dynamics, kidnapping, isolation, predator/prey dynamics, possessiveness

ships: yan!burning spice cookie x reader, yan!mystic flour cookie x reader, yan!shadow milk cookie x reader

The very very few (two) mutuals from my mains/discord that I allow to see this blog will read this and look at me like 😒 because projecting animal linguistics and animal behaviors/socialization onto animal-like characters are like, the only things I ever talk about.

I cannot imagine in any universe that any Beast (that have so far been released) other than Shadow Milknwould ever he angry that you escaped, even the yabdwre versions. Burning Spice Cookie delights in having another chance to hunt you down like a prized buck, and Mystic Flour Cookie is so emotionally balanced and capable that any feelings or urgency or dissatisfaction can be tempered before she brings you back herself.

Burning Spice Cookie, upon seeing your nest empty and your scent stale, would growl in excitement. He'd climb atop the highest ledge and let out a loud bellow; not of rage but a rallying call, a mighty sound that carries for miles. Whereever you may be, it's most likely you hear it, and so does any other spice warrior in the vicnity. Burning Spice Cookie wants to let everyone in his territory know that the hunt is on.

Mystic Flour Cookie is mostly unpreturbed by your escape, she knows you won't be gone for long. Her vocalizations are mostly saved for you anyway; so the most you'll hear is a chuff or a deep sigh as soon as she curls your arms around you to take you home.

Even as yanderes, those two are pretty "well adjusted", for Beasts anyway, that they won't immediately fly off the rail in anger if they find you missing. Surprisingly, yandere Burning Spice Cookie is slower to anger than yandere Shadow Milk Cookie for several reasons (BS isn't nearly as insecure, for one very important reason).

Shadow Milk Cookie, though? It would be a straight up lie to say that Shadow Milk Cookie doesn't enjoy scaring the wits out of you when you step out of line. Either through his illusions or his straight up Eldritch Call that basically says "You little annoying gnat, stop right where you are." in unholy monster language. But make no mistake, it pisses him off when he has to go fetch you again.

He's possessive in a way that feels more personal and targeted than even Burning Spice Cookie, and he's unrelenting in a way that feels more restricting than Mystic Flour Cookie.

Even Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie can't help but back off when they hear Shadow Milk Cookie snarl so dreadfully like that. They don't risk getting in his way to bring you back and discipline you; they know he's got a handle on that.

[starkwlkr]

i gave so many signs | mark webber

an: instead of mark announcing this retirement in early 2013, it’ll be announced at the end of the 2013 season

part 1

2013

For the past week, Y/n and Mark had avoided each other. It was complicated since their place of work required them to see each other daily, but somehow they didn’t speak one word to each other.

After the race, while Y/n talked with Sergio Perez, a Red Bull strategist approached them interrupting their conversation.

“Mark needs to speak with you.” The strategist told Y/n.

“Tell him he can come tell that himself.” Y/n tried to continue her conversation, but the strategist insisted.

“He said it’s very important and to bring the papers . . .” The strategist wasn’t sure what ‘bring the papers’ meant but either way he delivered the message.

That was enough for Y/n to apologize to Sergio for cutting their conversation short and leaving to find Mark. Well, her first stop was to retrieve her bag then find Mark. How did he know about the papers? It was a mystery to her.

She knew Mark was in his drivers room so she made her way to him. She also knew he wasn’t in the best mood. One word. Multi-21. Y/n had witnessed it. It was heartbreaking to watch so she would occasionally look down at her wedding ring and play with it.

When she finally made it to Mark’s room, she lightly knocked. “Yeah?” She heard Mark’s soft voice call out. Y/n opened the door and saw a worn out Mark seated on the floor. Once he saw her, he sat up straight and cleared his throat. “I didn’t think you would come. . .”

“How do you know?” She got straight to the point.

Mark knew what she was talking about. Last month he had found divorce papers on the kitchen counter of their shared home. Y/n was out running errands and Mark had come back early from the Gym.

Mark didn’t look up right away. He exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face before finally meeting her gaze.

“I know you’re not happy,” he said, voice thick with exhaustion. “And I’m not either. So let me sign them, and we’ll each go our separate ways.”

Y/n tightened her grip on the papers. For a moment, she hesitated. She had come here fully expecting this outcome—after all, Mark had sent a strategist to find her, to tell her to meet him here and bring the papers. He was ready. He had made his choice.

A part of her still believed there was something to salvage. That maybe, despite all the fights, despite the growing distance, they could fix it. That this—whatever this was—wasn’t the end of them.

But then she thought about what Mark really wanted. What he had always wanted.

A family. A home. Something she wasn’t willing to give up everything for. She had worked too hard, fought too long to be where she was, to have a career that meant everything to her. And the truth was, she knew Mark wouldn’t be the one making the sacrifices.

So she swallowed the lump in her throat and took slow, measured steps toward him. Without another word, she held out the papers.

Mark took them, his hands steady as he flipped to the last page. The only sound in the room was the scratch of his pen against the paper as he signed his name.

And then it was done.

They sat in silence for a while, both staring at the floor, neither one sure what to say now that the inevitable had finally happened. It wasn’t an argument, it wasn’t explosive—it was just over.

Mark turned his head slightly, looking at her with something unreadable in his expression. “I hope you can be happy,” he murmured.

Y/N swallowed hard before nodding. “You too.” She hesitated, then added, “Maybe with someone who can give you what you want.”

Mark shook his head, a sad smile ghosting over his lips. “No,” he said softly. “That won’t happen. Because I want that with you.”

She looked at him then, really looked at him, and for a fleeting second, she thought about what could’ve been. But it was too late. It had been too late for a long time.

So she nodded, turned on her heel, and walked out the door.

2023

The air was thick with tension and anticipation, the sound of engines roaring down the straight filling the garage as McLaren’s pit crew stood ready. It was the first race of the season, and Oscar’s rookie year. Y/n felt the familiar pulse of adrenaline coursing through her veins, but beneath it, a layer of nerves simmered.

As she moved to step into the garage, someone else did at the same time. Their shoulders brushed, the unexpected contact making them both pause.

Mark.

For a second, neither of them spoke. They hadn’t spoken in years, hadn’t even acknowledged each other in the paddock despite the countless times they had been in the same space.

Y/n muttered a quiet, “Excuse me,” and stepped aside to let him through, treating him like he was just another person in the garage, just another face in the paddock.

Mark didn’t like it.

"Y/n," he said firmly.

She sighed, already exhausted by the conversation she knew was coming. “Mark, I have a job to do.”

“I know. And you’re brilliant at it. But I need to talk to you.”

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There is,” he insisted, lowering his voice. “I miss you.”

Her breath hitched slightly, but she didn’t let it show. “Mark…”

“I don’t care about kids anymore,” he cut in before she could protest. “That was years ago. We’re older now. Things are different.”

She inhaled sharply, stepping back. “You can’t say that.”

“Why not?” He tilted his head. “It’s the truth.”

“Because—” Her breath hitched, her vision blurring. “Because I ruined everything.”

Mark’s brows furrowed. “Y/n…”

She shook her head, her hands trembling. “I didn’t even think about it, Mark. I could’ve had both—I could’ve had a career and a family, but I didn’t even try. I was so fucking stubborn, so afraid of losing what I worked for that I didn’t see that I was losing you.”

Mark’s face softened, his expression pained as he reached for her. This time, she didn’t pull away. His hands settled gently on her arms, grounding her.

“I would’ve waited for you,” he murmured. “I would’ve figured it out with you. I didn’t want just a family, Y/n—I wanted you.”

A shaky breath escaped her lips as she shut her eyes, trying to hold herself together, but it was no use. The years of regret, of what-ifs, of missed chances—they crashed over her all at once.

Mark pulled her in without hesitation, his arms wrapping around her as she broke down against his chest.

“You didn’t ruin everything,” he whispered into her hair. “We’re here. Right now. We can still—” He swallowed hard. “We can still try.”

She clung to him, her mind racing, her heart aching. She wanted to believe him. She really did. But could she forgive herself? Could she let herself have this again?

She didn’t have an answer.

But for the first time in a decade, she let herself hold onto him, just for a little while longer.

Y/n didn’t know how long they stood there. Seconds? Minutes? It didn’t matter. Because for the first time in ten years, she wasn’t just existing alongside him—she was with him. And it hurt. God, it fucking hurt.

She pulled back, wiping her face with the sleeve of her McLaren jacket, her hands unsteady. “I should get back,” she muttered, her voice still thick with emotion.

Mark frowned, reluctant to let go, but he dropped his arms. “Y/n—”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “This—whatever this is—this conversation shouldn’t be happening.”

His jaw tightened. “Why not?”

Y/n’s breath was unsteady, her chest rising and falling as she struggled to get a grip on herself. She needed to leave before she said something she couldn’t take back.

But Mark wasn’t letting her go that easily.

“Why do you do this?” he demanded, stepping closer. “Why do you push me away and then act like it hurts you just as much?”

Before she could think—before she could stop herself—her hands shot up, grabbing his face, and she kissed him. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t sweet. It was desperate and angry, all clashing teeth and bottled-up regret.

For a moment, Mark didn’t react, frozen in shock. And then he did, his hands moving to her waist, pulling her closer like he was afraid she’d slip through his fingers again.

And then reality hit.

Y/N pulled back, her lips tingling, her mind reeling.

“Oh, fuck,” she whispered, eyes wide.

Mark barely had time to process before her palm connected with his cheek in a sharp, stinging slap.

“What the fuck?” He staggered back, touching his face in disbelief.

She was just as stunned as him, her hand trembling. “I—I didn’t mean to—”

His nostrils flared, his frustration bubbling over. “I don’t understand you, woman!”

“Neither do I!” she shot back, throwing her hands in the air.

They stood there, breathing heavily, both looking like they wanted to strangle each other and kiss again all at once.

And that’s when Oscar appeared at the entrance of the garage. The poor rookie froze, wide-eyed, like a kid who had just walked in on his parents fighting. He looked at Mark. Then Y/n Then back at Mark.

Neither of them acknowledged him.

Oscar awkwardly cleared his throat. Nothing.

Alright. Cool. He’d just . . . pass through.

With the stiffest posture known to man, Oscar walked between them, silently making his way to his car, pretending he was not in the middle of some extremely personal, possibly violent lover’s quarrel.

The moment he was gone, Mark threw his hands up. “See?! Even Oscar thinks we’re fucking insane!”

Y/N groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Yes, I do!”

“You kissed me!” Mark accused, pointing at her.

“And then I slapped you!”

“What kind of insane logic—”

“I panicked!”

Mark dragged a hand down his face. “You are impossible!”

“And you are unbelievable!” Y/n’s voice cracked, all the pent-up emotions clawing their way out. “You show up here, after years, and act like—like we can just fix this? Like none of it mattered?”

Mark’s nostrils flared. “It did matter.”

“Then why did you let me go?”

Mark exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Don’t do that, Y/n.”

“Do what? Speak the truth? Say the things you don’t want to hear?” She let out a hollow laugh. “I gave you so many signs, Mark. So many signs that I wasn’t happy, that I needed you to fight for us. But you didn’t. You just—let me go.”

Mark scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “You really think I didn’t see it?” His voice was lower now, rough. “I felt it. Every time you pulled away. Every time work came first. Every time I looked at you and wondered if you even wanted this anymore.”

Y/n’s breath hitched, something inside her cracking. Silence fell between them, thick with everything unsaid.

Oscar, still sitting awkwardly in the car, looked between them again and let out a quiet sigh. Yeah, they’re definitely still in love.

She looked at Mark—really looked at him. The sharp crease between his brows, the tired weight in his eyes, the way his fists clenched like he was bracing for her to say something he didn’t want to hear.

And for the first time, she saw it for what it was.

They had spent years running in circles, trying to fix something that had been broken long before either of them admitted it.

“We weren’t good for each other back then,” she finally said, her voice quiet but firm.

Mark’s jaw tightened.

“And we’re not good for each other now.”

His expression darkened. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth, Mark.” Y/n exhaled, shaking her head. “We tore each other apart without even meaning to. And we’re still doing it.”

Mark stared at her, the fight in him flickering—fading into something worse.

Acceptance.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything. The only sounds in the garage were the distant hum of engines and the occasional radio crackle.

Finally, Mark swallowed, nodding stiffly. “So that’s it?”

Y/n’s chest ached, but she nodded. “Yeah.”

And that was the cruelest part of it all.

They had loved each other. Really loved each other. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. Sometimes, no matter how much you wanted to rewrite the past, the ending was already written.

tags!!

@hc-dutch

[literaryvein-reblogs]

A Few More Writing Notes for your Sex Scenes

Whether your long-term relationship is in a rut, or you're looking for a way to connect with a new partner, sex games are a fun way to add some steamy novelty to your sex life.

Sex Games for Couples to Play

To get the most out of these sexy games, both of you should go in with a positive attitude and a willingness to try new sexual activities. Here are some sex games that may spice things up between you and your partner.

“Out of bed” sex checklist: For this game, commit to having sex in a different location either inside or outside your home for an entire month. The one rule is that the location can’t be your bed. Then every time you have sex, alternate who chooses the location. You may be surprised at how a change of scenery sparks your sexual creativity.

Sex dice: For this classic couple’s sex game, all you need is a pair of dice that will give you a sexy action (i.e. “lick,” “suck,” “nibble”) and a number of sexy body parts (i.e. “nipples,” “ear,” “neck”). Just purchase a pair of sex dice, role the dice, and do what they tell you to do.

Kinky truth or dare: For this kinky spin on the classic game Truth or Dare, all you have to do is make every truth and every dare sexual in nature. If selecting a dare for your partner, think of something that pushes them slightly out of their comfort zone like role play or a striptease performance. When asking for a truth, use it as an opportunity to learn about your partner's sexual fantasies. For example, you could ask "What untraditional sex position have you always wanted to try?" or "Tell me something that turns you on that I don't already know about."

Yes/No/Maybe: Making a “Yes/No/Maybe” list with your partner is exactly what it sounds like: a list of sexual activities that you can mark “Yes” (I definitely want to do this), “No” (I definitely do not want to do this), or “Maybe” (I’m not sure if I’d enjoy this, but I’m open to talking more about it and maybe trying it). You should each fill out a “Yes/No/Maybe” list separately and then compare to see where your sexual fantasies overlap. Here's a small sample of items to consider adding to your list: BDSM, mutual masturbation, nipple play, oral sex, anal sex, role-playing, dirty talk, dressing up, spanking, vibrator usage, dildo usage, and threesomes.

Honey hunt: This game is perfect for couples who have a sweet tooth and don't mind getting a little messy. To play, blindfold your partner and pour a small spot of honey anywhere on your body. It's your partner's job to find the honey, but they're only allowed to use their tongue. As they search for the honey, your partner may discover new erogenous zones on your body. This game can get sticky so when you're done playing, clean each other off with some shower sex.

Sex toy surprise: To play “sex toy surprise,” gather all your sex toys in a large bag, blindfold you or your partner, and pick one out of the bag to use during foreplay. Feel free to keep the blindfold on after you make your selection.

Strip games: You can turn any card game or board game into a sex game if you just alter the rules so that the loser has to remove a piece of clothing. Strip poker is the most popular strip game and you only need a classic deck of playing cards to play.

Sex Toy - any object or device made to enhance sexual pleasure or facilitate an orgasm. When safely used, sex toys can bring an entirely new element to a sexual encounter. There are several different types of sex toys, and each is designed for a unique form of pleasure.

Types of Sex Toys

Sex toys come in many shapes and sizes, but they typically fall within 7 categories.

Vibrators: These sex toys use vibration patterns to stimulate different parts of your body. External vibrators include clitoral stimulators like bullet vibrators and wands, which enhance pleasure around the clitoris and labia. Internal vibrators are shaped for comfortable vaginal and anal penetration. They usually include several vibration modes, so you can find the right intensity for you. Combination vibrators like rabbit vibrators include both internal and external functions. Rabbits are hybrid sex toys that allow for penatration while simultaneously simulating your clit.

Anal toys: Some sex toys are specifically designed to stimlute the nerve endings in your anus. Examples of anal toys include butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads. The important thing to look for when choosing an anal toy is a flared base. This wider base ensures that the toy doesn’t accidentally slip inside your anus. Since the anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself, anal toys require a lot of lubrication. Don’t forget to clean your anal toy after each use, especially if you’re sharing the toy with a partner or plan to use it on another part of your body.

BDSM gear: BDSM toys can enhance sexual pleasure by allowing for dominant and submissive roleplaying. If you are new to bondage, consider buying a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, or wrist and ankle restraints. These simple items can add an exciting element to your sexual encounters by forcing you to focus on every physical sensation. If you enjoy erotic spanking, consider using a paddles, whips, or ticklers. When using BDSM gear, always be sure to have an agreed-upon safe word that you can use if you are ever feeling uncomfortable. Trust and communication are key for good bondage play.

Dildos: One of the most popular types of sex toys, dildo are often phallic in shape. They are designed to comfortably penetrate a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they are often textured with pleasurable ribs or bumps and made out of silicone, glass, and even steel. If you are having solo sex, consider buying a dildo with a suction cup base that you can attach to a wall for hand-free use.

Cock rings: These toys wrap around the base of your penis to stop blood flow back into the body, which can help maintain and enhance an erection. Some cock rings wrap around the scrotum to apply extra pressure. The safest cock rings are made from a soft material like silicone, but they also come in materials like titanium or stainless steel. Vibrating cock rings can enhance sexual pleasure for the wearer and provide clitoral stimulation for a partner. Only wear a cock ring for brief sessions, and take it off immediately if it causes you any pain.

Harnesses: Harnesses allow you to attach a dildo to your body for strap-on play. Use a strap-on for penetrative sex, either vaginal or anal. Harnesses are often fit like underwear, but some have straps that tie around your thighs. You may also wear a harness for bondage purposes. For optimal mobility during sex, be sure to keep your harness snug and your dildo tightly attached.

Sex furniture: Constructed for intimacy, sex furniture can help you position your body in a way that is otherwise difficult or uncomfortable. A wedge pillow is an easy way to lift your pelvis and hold a good position for penetration. Other examples of sex furniture include sex swings, lounge chairs, and shower grips. If you’ve been struggling with a particular sex position, consider getting a piece of sex furniture to support you.

BDSM - a blanket term for a wide variety of erotic practices and kinks built upon power dynamics between consenting sexual partners.

“BDSM” is a combination of acronyms that stands for three similar but distinct communities that use power imbalance for sexual pleasure:

Bondage and discipline (B/D), domination and submission (D/s), and sadism and masochism (S/M).

In general, BDSM involves one partner acting in the dominant role (or “dom”), while the other embodies the submissive role (or “sub”) as they both act out consensual fantasies.

Both partners receive sexual pleasure and satisfaction from performing their role (whether dominant or submissive) during the sexual encounter.

Other “kinky” communities based on nonconforming sexual interests or fetishism are often included within the BDSM community, including those with rubber or leather fetishes or people who enjoy animal roleplay, where one partner takes on the role of an animal or pet.

Types of BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for many sexual preferences within the erotic community, all of which interact and overlap in various ways. The most common subcultures include:

Bondage play: Bondage is a sexual practice in which tools are used to restrain one partner during a sexual encounter. The most common restraints include rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains. These restraints aim to restrict the subject’s senses or freedom of movement to place control in the other partner’s hands and heighten mutual sexual stimulation.

Discipline: In the discipline community, the dominant partner will set rules that the submissive partner obeys. These rules can be sexual in nature (like requiring oral sex at particular times) or indirectly erotic (like forbidding speaking out of turn). If the submissive partner breaks a rule, the dominant partner will assign punishment, including withholding pleasure, inflicting pain (from spanking to flogging), or assigning additional rules. Both partners experience sexual pleasure in discipline roleplay.

Dominance and submission: Dominance and submission focus on the flow of power and energy between partners. In general, one partner dominates the other physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually during a particular encounter (often called a “scene” or “session”), exploring the submissive partner’s desires, thoughts, and feelings and guiding the couple toward mutual pleasure. BDSM practitioners who like to switch between dominant and submissive roles in a relationship or even undergo a power exchange during a single encounter are known as “switches.” D/s often incorporates specific outfits or attire to be used during a scene—for instance, leather outfits, maid costumes, collars, leashes, and riding crops.

Sadomasochism: Sadomasochism is a community in which individuals derive sexual pleasure and a rush of endorphins from inflicting or receiving pain (always consensually). Those who enjoy inflicting this pain are known as sadists, while those who enjoy feeling this pain are called masochists. The pain inflicted can be physical (with whips, clamps, paddles, or electric stimulation) or emotional (through humiliation or total submission).

Tips for Practicing BDSM Safely

If you want to experiment with BDSM for the first time but are unsure where to start, here are a few tips to make sure your experiences are safe, consensual, and fun:

Set ground rules with your partner. To engage in healthy BDSM play, you and your partner should both agree on what you’re comfortable with before you begin—nobody should feel pressured into a particular role or feel as if they don’t have a choice. Have an open and honest dialogue with your partner about the roles you’re each drawn toward so that you both feel comfortable and confident experimenting. If you’re too nervous about bringing it up directly and you’re curious about your partner’s interest levels, consider watching light BDSM erotica together to broach the subject.

Select a safe word. Trust and mutual consent between one or more partners are the foundation of BDSM. However, it may be hard to distinguish between playful banter and an honest request to slow down or stop the experience in the middle of a session. Every BDSM practitioner should establish at least one safe word with their partner—something either person can say to signal that a boundary has been crossed and a break is necessary. Additionally, you and your partner can choose two different safe words—one that signals a stop in action and another that signals you’re coming close to a boundary and should ease off or move the session in a different direction.

Brainstorm roleplaying ideas. If you’re unsure how to begin a BDSM relationship with your partner or feeling self-conscious, consider some roleplay scenarios that can help jumpstart the action. Boss and employee, teacher and student, doctor and patient, or two strangers are all roles that you can take on to help distance yourself from the situation, which can be a great way to help you get over stage fright so that you can relax and enjoy yourself.

Start small. If you’re new to BDSM, avoid buying a complicated rope system or a fancy leather outfit. Instead, let yourself ease in to see if this form of sex play suits you and your partner. Try light BDSM activities for starters; many discipline or D/s sessions only require two willing participants and some imagination. If you want to buy equipment, a blindfold and some wrist restraints are useful, inexpensive items that you can continue to use if you determine that hardcore BDSM activities are not for you.

Understand risk. There are two main schools of thought regarding how to treat risk during sessions—the “safe, sane, and consensual” model (SSC) and the “risk-aware consensual kink” model (RACK). Those who follow the SSC model emphasize safety, sticking to activities that you and your partner have designated as “safe” beforehand. Those who follow the RACK model believe that the word “safe” is problematic because most BDSM activities are inherently risky and that emphasizing safety takes away participants’ freedom to evaluate risk on their own or engage in higher-risk BDSM play. For those who follow the RACK model, the responsibility to determine risk and comfort is with each individual—making explicit consent even more crucial.

Aftercare is key. Many sexual activities—and BDSM sessions in particular—can be physically or emotionally intense for both participants, so partners must engage in healthy aftercare following the sexual experience. Discussion, cuddling, and cleaning up together are great ways to help everyone wind down and process the session, fostering a sense of calm, physical wellness, and emotional well-being.

Erotic Spanking - a type of impact play in which a person uses their hands, whip, paddle, crop, or flagger to spank parts of their partner’s body for consensual and mutual sexual pleasure.

Spanking is a light BDSM activity often used as foreplay before sexual intercourse or a kinky warm up during domination play.

Receiving an erotic spanking can increase blood flow in the groin area and releases pleasurable chemicals in the brain, including endorphins and dopamine, to enhance sexual pleasure.

Types of Erotic Spanking

In spanking role-play, each partner performs the part of a character—the spanking recipient will typically take on a submissive role, while the other partner performs a dominant one.

Domestic discipline is a practice between two consenting partners where the dominant partner uses spanking or corporal punishment to call out their submissive partner’s unwanted behaviors (which may have been performed intentionally in order to get spanked).

Self-spanking is when a person spanks their own body for sexual pleasure.

Ways to Practice Erotic Spanking

There are several different ways that couples and individuals can use erotic spanking in their sexual play:

Clothed or unclothed: You can spank or receive a spanking fully clothed, completely naked, or in various states of undress. Some people own special spanking outfits like chaps or a spanking skirt, which have unique cutouts around the buttocks to allow for easier spanking.

Over the knee: The prototypical position for spanking is when the receiving partner lies across the lap or over the spanking partner’s knee, with their buttocks in the air. However, many other positions offer easy access to the buttocks. For example, the receiving partner can lie on their stomach on the bed, or both partners can stand upright. Some people may invest in a spanking bench or spanking horse, a four-legged piece of furniture that the receiving partner lies on during spanking.

With the hand: The hands are the most common spanking tool. Some practitioners prefer to spank using their bare hands because they can also feel the impact on their palms and fingers.

With a spanking tool: Spanking tools can provide more impact or cover a greater surface area. Paddles, whips, riding crops, floggers, hairbrushes, belts, and canes are popular implements to use for spanking.

With bondage: Spanking falls under the umbrella of BDSM, which also includes other activities like bondage and domination. Many people like to combine spanking with these activities to enhance sexual arousal—for instance, tying up the receiving partner for a submissive BDSM spanking experience.

With role-play: Some couples use spanking as a role-playing element, acting out situations where the spanker is the dominant partner and the spankee needs to be punished with a spanking session.

Erotic Spanking Tips

If you want to try an erotic spanking session in the bedroom, here are some useful tips for beginners:

Choose a safe word. Different people respond differently to spanking—while some may find it immensely pleasurable, others may dislike it entirely or enjoy it only briefly before they’re ready to move on. To ensure that you and your partner have an open line of sexual communication, choose a memorable, safe word before you start so that if one of you needs to stop, you can use the word to end the session and take a break.

Start gently. Everyone has different sensitivity levels, and it’s important to listen to your partner to see what feels best for them. When starting with erotic spanking, the spanker should begin with gentle spanks—then, if your partner asks for more or harder impact, you can gradually increase the intensity. Easing into the spanking can help both of you discover your preferences.

Experiment with sensations. If you’re spanking with your hand, you can try different angles and styles to see what feels best. For instance, the palm offers a deeper thud, while the fingers can create more of a stinging sensation. Other spanking tools can provide new sensations—a paddle can cover more surface area with each impact, while a riding crop concentrates on a particular spot. Aftercare is also important—rubbing the spankee’s buttocks after a few spanks can extend the duration of the sensations and further increase the pleasure.

Pay attention to all four zones. The buttocks have four different zones that respond differently to spanking: the tops by your lower back, the sides near your hips, the undersides, and the fleshy center dome. When spanking, give each zone some attention, which will also help provide other zones with relief. As you ramp up the sexual arousal, focus most of the spanking on the underside zone, which will send vibrations up to your partner’s genital area for the most pleasure.

Go solo. You don’t need a partner to enjoy spanking. Add in some erotic spanking during a masturbation session—being on all fours or even standing up are both good positions to give you easy access to your buttocks area. If you’re having a hard time reaching, consider using a paddle or other spanking tool.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[gatorbites-imagines]

would love love LOVE to see some invincible x ftm!reader stuff, our ppl are in a drought </3

Mark Grayson x ftm reader 

Headcanons 

You didn't specify which Mark, if it was OG Mark, an alternate Mark, or the petvincibles. And, I wanted to write something more stand together, so here ya go.  

We have been so focused on alt marks on this blog, I felt OG mark needed some love. 

Honestly? I don't think Mark cares too much about you being trans. Unless you guys started dating before you came out, and you had to come out to him. 

Then, he wouldn't fully understand the experience, but Mark has always felt like a very understanding and standup guy.  

Though, he will have a moment where he's wondering if you guys need to break up now, cuz he's always just assumed he was straight. And breaking up would be most respectful for you, right? 

But Mark still loves you, and after a long conversation with William, as he's his like, information point when it comes to LGBT stuff, Mark realizes maybe your gender doesn't really matter if he loves you. 

He wouldn't be comfortable labeling himself just yet, but Mark knows he loves you, and that's all that matters. Now he just has to put up with William laughing and saying that he knew it. 

Hes also a very busy guy, with all the hero stuff and if this is during the time hes still in college. But Mark would still find time to try and research it. 

Expect him to go on reddit or other forums to be like “hey yall, my boyfriend(your age, ftm) just came out to me, and I(19M) wanna be supportive, what can I do to help?” cuz he just wants to do it right. 

No matter how you express yourself, Mark wouldn't be embarrassed about it either. Be if you are fem presenting, masc presenting, neither, or both. As long as you are happy, then Mark would look at you with those most loving puppy eyes. 

Mark also isnt scared to square up with anybody who disrespects you, or other members of the community. Hes always been a big supporter of William, and now he has you, and has just become a lot more aware of the community and how they are treated. 

No cops at pride, only invincible (and the rest of teen team/the guardians if they are at that point). 

Mark is also a big sucker for his partner wearing his clothes I think, no matter what way you present yourself. He would also try his best to help out, if you want help in being more masculine. 

I also don't see Mark as the type of person to struggle with saying he has a boyfriend. The first couple of times might feel weird in his mouth, but that's what you are, and that's how he will describe you. 

Mark openly having a boyfriend will somehow end up with him and Rex becoming friends quicker, because Rex is my bi/pan icon and hell yeah, now they can talk about chicks and dudes together. 

If anybody tries to be gross about it, Rex is the kinda guy to go “we literally wear colorful tight spandex suits, but your problem is that invincible has a boyfriend?” and Mark just goes “yeah man, what the fuck?” 

Mark would get you an invincible themed binder if he can, because you “gotta rep your boyfriend, right?” and cuz hes a damn nerd. There is also a seance dog binder somewhere. 

Mark would somehow get the GDA to pay for your top surgery if you wanted one, like, he does a job for them and is like “only if your best guys do my boyfriends surgery”.  

And like, top surgery has to be one of the cheapest payments they've been asked for. Top surgery paid for by the American government. 

[seeingivy]

sweetener

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my dream girl fic

previous part linked here

--

--

megumi fushiguro has a penchant for three things. to be overly curious, unyieldingly inquisitive, and have a considerably noticeable lack of restraint when it comes to personal boundaries. that much has been true since you met him in the sixth grade. 

in most cases, those are the three things that you appreciate the most about him; that he can look over your songs and artwork with thoughtful questions, encourage changes and tweaks you couldn’t have dreamed up yourself, and at the very least, be the vote of confidence that pushed you out of your comfort zones at times – which was severely needed at times. 

in the current situation, all three of those tendencies were working against you. because you were about to get a very severe interrogation. nothing stopped him from getting the answers that he wanted. 

“so were you planning on telling me you were dating sukuna or was that just supposed to be a happy surprise?” he mutters. 

you turn to your left to eye him – noting that his usual uninterested glare is more steely than usual – as you shoot him a polite smile. granted, knowing the situation and knowing megumi fushiguro as well as you do, you could have supposed that your ritual thursday morning coffee run would be subject to this interrogation. that at some level, you were even asking fo rit. 

there isn’t anything that megumi fushiguro doesn’t know about you. there isn’t anything that you don’t know about him. nothing has ever stopped you – a time zone, long distance, even forcible attempts – so the current predicament, that you have yet to tell him about your very public relationship, was a recipe for disaster. 

and you know for a fact that if it were you, you would be doing way worse. 

“are you going to respond?” he asks, the tone in his voice giving away his impatience. 

the current walk reminds you of one thing. that being subject to irritated glare that megumi usually reserves for other people and very rarely sports towards you isn’t a feeling that you necessarily like. or ever want to get used to. 

 “if i answer happy surprise, will you be more annoyed than you already are?” you joke. 

“take a guess.” he deadpans. 

you frown, looping your arm in through his as you both cross the sidewalk, on your walk three blocks down to the play coffee, where you’re meeting sukuna and yuuji for breakfast. granted, that invite – and the fact that it didn’t come from you either – didn’t necessarily help the situation at hand. 

megumi’s comments about yuuji being overly enthusiastic about meeting you, and the fact that you were now dating sukuna, were clearly no joke. 

“i just find it really strange. i’m not really sure what angle you’re playing at here.”  megumi states. 

you sigh. 

“i’m not playing at an angle. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you before and i know that not telling you doesn’t really help my case, but there is no angle. sukuna and i are just talking. we aren’t even dating yet.” you state. 

megumi clears his throat. 

“yet?” 

“well, we’ll see where it goes. maybe we won’t even date at all. or we will, for a really long time. i’m just playing the entire thing by ear since it’s been a while since i’ve talked to someone i didn’t really know beforehand.” 

megumi scoffs. 

“so you realized you made a mistake by deciding to date the guy who's been your best friend for two years and then decided to turn around and do the opposite thing the next time you tried to talk to someone? by talking to a stranger?” 

“he’s not a stranger! he’s romeo’s brother, that definitely helps in his case.” 

megumi’s uncharacteristically silent. you wrap your arm around his wrist and pull back, gesturing for him to stop in the middle of the sidewalk before letting go. you can tell that he’s unrelenting, barely even meeting your eyes as you teeter back and forth on the balls of your feet, and wait for him to talk again. 

“megumi.” you murmur. 

“what’s the angle? i know you.” he responds back, almost exasperated. 

you debate telling him the truth. debate telling him the truth and hearing it from him in earnest – that he doesn’t think you’re very smart, that your career certainly can’t mean so much that you’d pretend to date someone, and that you’re thoughtless for messing with something that’s so important to him in the process. 

yuuji. and his family, by proxy. 

“there is no angle. he was the one who approached me and i’m just getting to know him. i didn’t even realize he was romeo’s brother until after the first time that we talked.” you state. 

“you didn’t realize that his twin brother….was his brother?” he asks. 

“they’re fraternal. and it was dark.” you state. 

“so the whole song, basketball game, that was all just an extra bonus? a surprisingly convenient way to get back at jake and aimee?” he asks. 

you sigh. 

“okay. so things were public a little fast. so fast that i didn’t even get to tell you about it beforehand. and maybe part of it was me being mad at jake and aimee and just feeling irritated and…and he was there to help me…but i’m not purposely leaving you out of anything. it just happened. and yes, it benefits him too since she’s been talking about him in the press, but it wasn’t planned.”  you state. 

you pause before continuing. 

“you’ve been busy with press. this is the first time i’ve seen you in a while. and i swear, if i had a chance to tell you – not over the phone by the way and actually in person – you would be the first to know.” 

megumi looks over, sparing the smallest smile, on which you return to his side and loop your arm through his before leaning your cheek against his bicep. 

“you can understand why i’m concerned, right?” he murmurs. 

“i know. i don’t want us to interfere with your almost eighteen month attempt at your… whatever…with romeo.”  

megumi clicks his tongue in his cheek. 

“this is not about yuuji. i could care less about that. this is about you.” he deadpans. 

“what about me?” 

megumi sighs. 

“about you and aimee. what interacting with her can do. how obsessive it can become.” he states. 

there’s an overwhelming dry patch in your throat. 

“i don’t care that you didn’t tell me on time. i don’t even really care that you’re dating him. i…think he’s great. he clearly cares about you a lot, he asks me stuff about you all the time. i’m just worried about you. you’re thinking about aimee a lot. getting involved with her again. i just wanted to make sure that you were fine.” 

you understand the implication and frown. 

“i’m fine. if it was like that, i would have told you.” 

“but you understand why i’m asking? because there was a time that you didn’t tell me. quite literally the only time in your life that you’ve withheld anything from me. and i don’t want things to escalate so far that…that i miss something.” 

you turn towards him, reaching forward to place a hand on his shoulder. the searing guilt that this is the second time now – the second time that you’re willingly withholding something from megumi – makes your stomach twist in a way that you don’t like. 

“i haven’t even given her a second thought.” 

that was a lie too. a third. 

“and trust me. more than anything, i’m more annoyed that jake has zero class.” you add. 

megumi scoffs. 

“well, i could have told you that much from the start. who wears khakis to a black tie formal?” he asks. 

you laugh. 

“plus. isn’t that kind of cute? that we’re dating two brothers? we’re like sister wives!”  

“or brother husbands. and i thought you weren’t dating.” megumi states. 

“yet. who knows where it’s going to go from here?” you clarify. 

“well, sukuna definitely wants it to go that way. he really does ask about you. quite often, i might add.” he mentions. 

you can’t help but feel your cheeks warm up. that your curiosity’s been piqued maybe a little more than it should have. it would give away too much – but you need to know every detail. the tone of his voice, the order he said it all in, if he smiled when he talked about you. 

“what did he say?” 

“he was just admiring that you’re very clever. the whole espresso thing. which i think is fucking ridiculous because you hate coffee, but i get the connection. honestly, i feel like he’s kind of shocked that you even like him in the first place.” 

“what’s he so shocked about?” 

megumi shrugs. 

“i don’t know. i guess he’s used to people settling for him or something along those lines according to yuuji. but he’s been pretty happen since you came around.” 

happy that you’re going to save his career.

--

one thing was very clear to you from the deep dive internet search that you did on sukuna a few  days prior. that if there was one thing that was beloved to him – and his fans – it was the coffee shop that he worked at when he was sixteen. 

play coffee was nestled at the end of the block, right on the corner next to a convenience store. just from the design inside – old stained glass windows, red bricks – you could tell that the building was definitely repurposed from its original use.

“yuuji told me that he was out back moving some things into stock. i’m gonna go talk to him before we join you guys, okay?” 

“sure. do you want me to order for you?” 

“sure. just ask sukuna to get me my usual.” megumi notes. 

you shoot him a polite nod, before pushing through the double glass doors, and stopping short of the display case. there’s no one you can see towards the front counter – the unmistakable  pink hair nowhere to be found – as you stop to take note of the pastries in the glass case. 

a sheet cake, perfectly sliced at the bottom, next to a glistening pie, with an intricately designed crust. three donuts in a line, a bundt cake, and what you’re guessing is the most extensive assortment of croissants that you’ve ever seen in your life. 

you pause to take a picture of the pie crust, noting the braided pattern on the outer edge, before you’re startled by the presence of another voice. 

“which one caught your eye?” 

the woman standing at your side is looking over at you, eyes wide and expectant as she waits for an answer, and as you clock exactly who she is. some part of you was convinced that your searing memory – the fact that you remember everything in painstaking detail – had to be some type of superpower at this point. 

alina. sukuna’s boss. she’s the one that owns the coffee shop. and by proxy, you assume the woman that sukuna’s so overly fond of to stay here and invest in for so long. 

“the pie. it’s lemon meringue right?” 

“that’s right.” 

“i was just admiring the design on the crust. it’s hard to find places that have such intricate crusts. or even offer lemon meringue as an option. i usually have to make it on my own.” 

alina hums in response. 

“sour on the outside, sweet on the inside. is that your type?” she states.

“what?” 

“that’s how sukuna makes that one. he makes the meringue more sour and the filling more sweet. swears that it’s better that way. is that the type of lemon meringue pie you like?”   

you give her a polite nod. and note that you’re not the only one who seems to remember things in painstaking detail. 

“sorry, yeah. you said sukuna made it?” you ask. 

she gives you a smile. 

“he’s a big baker. something you’ll have to get used to, i suppose, since his mom says that he does get an itch to start baking in the middle of the night sometimes.” 

you give her an awkward smile. of course she knows who you are. if he’s close enough to save her coffee shop from being evicted, he’s definitely going to let her know when he’s seeing someone new. 

it was normal. what you did wasn’t. 

“i’m kind of an insomniac too, so that would be fine with me. and i like baking. and it doesn’t seem like he’s half bad at it.” you ask. 

“you like baking too?” she asks. 

“oh, i try to make my own food when i can. taking the time to make it makes it easier for me to eat it and enjoy it.” you state. 

you smile, swallowing down the warmth that’s settling into your throat, to keep the conversation going. and hope that wasn’t an awkward thing ot say. 

“he’s been talking about you. playing your espresso song in the shop because he claims it’s good for business, but i think it’s just because he likes it so much.” 

“oh. you play my song here? that’s really sweet of you guys.” 

you pause, before turning to the left and extending your hand out to her. it’s an opportune time because it’s right as sukuna comes out of the closed door in the back – a glistening sheen of sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. you note that the dress code that everyone seemed to follow – at least from the pictures that you saw on the website – is one that applied to everyone but sukuna. 

because you can see his fully tattooed arms on display in the dark green tank top he’s wearing. you restrain yourself from looking at the art on his arm fully and look up to find him grinning at you, looking a little too happy for your liking. 

he probably thinks that you were checking him out. 

“you could have hollered when you got here, y/n. and of course we played your song here.” sukuna states. 

“well, that would have gotten you and your sweat over here faster. plus, i was introducing myself to alina.” you respond. 

sukuna laughs. 

“trust me, you don’t need an introduction. i’m convinced i know more about you than you do at this point.” alina murmurs. 

sukuna turns around to narrow his eyes at her, one that makes her smile very brightly, before she scuttles away towards the back. 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask. 

“she’s like my pseudo mom. she just asked a lot of questions about you, that’s all.” 

you narrow your eyes at him. 

“and how were you able to come up with so many answers?” 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“your best friend since childhood has been my co-worker for the past year. and he also lingers around my apartment basically everyday.” 

“i have a sneaking suspicion that’s not really true, sukuna.” you state.  

“oh?” 

you shrug. 

“i never even told you we were childhood best friends. how would you know to ask him? and he’s not exactly standing around at your apartment to talk to you.” you note. 

sukuna shakes his head, almost like he’s dismissing the entire conversation away with one shake, before he crouches in front of the glass case of the pastries, eyeing them all one by one. you note that he’s pretty meticulous – at least with the order – because he starts rearranging all of them in a specific order. 

“i actually wanted to talk to you about something.” 

sukuna gives you a nod, almost like he’s indicating that you have his full attention, not diverting his eyes from the case. 

“well, what are we doing?” you whisper. 

“i’m rearranging the pastries because yuuji doesn’t know what alphabetical order means. you’re admiring me from a distance, very shamelessly i might add.” he notes. 

you bite down on your cheek, before crouching down to whisper properly. 

“i mean. you’re almost at the end of press. i basically pissed off jake and aimee like you said. aren’t we good to..i don’t know…fizzle out?” 

sukuna scunches up his face at the sound of your words. almost like he’s irritated you’d even position this in the first place. 

“are you seriously backing out because you’re scared?” he asks. 

“scared? what could i possibly have to be scared of?” 

he finally diverts his gaze from the case, retreating his hand back to his lap, and trying to discern the look on your face from his scrunched eyes. 

“you tell me. you’re the one who is backing out right now.” he murmurs. 

you clear your throat. 

“i don’t see a point.” 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“i can spend another time trying to convince you of the point. but trust me, you don’t want to go into the premiere party on friday without me. i got not one but two messages last night that weren’t exactly pleasant.” 

“what? from who?” 

“the pope.” he deadpans. 

“really?” 

“are you crazy? one from aimee telling me that she missed me. and one from jake telling me that i needed to be careful with you or else.” 

“what?” 

“exactly. they’re definitely not going to drop this. and at this point in time, it really wouldn’t make sense for us to do it either. i didn’t necessarily help your case by pissing him off at the basketball game and now i’m not just going to leave you defenseless.” 

“i’m not defens..” 

sukuna rolls his eyes, placing his hand flat on your cheek in efforts to silence you, as alina sticks a plate of the pie right on the counter where the two of you are standing. you note that she smiles at the two of you – almost double taking to observe how sukuna’s holding your cheek – before she walks away. 

you can feel your cheeks warm as he drops his hand, his soft touch retreating. he gives you a sweet smile, one that you don’t entirely understand, as he beckons for you to follow him, leading you the booth all the way at the end. 

you can see that yuuji is tending to the flowers that are in the box out front through the window, and that a few feet behind, megumi’s watching him very fondly as he continues to talk. sukuna follows your line of vision, before clearing his throat. 

“ten bucks megumi makes the first move.” 

“oh, you’re so full of shit. it’s either going to be yuuji or it’s never happening.” 

“oh ye of little faith. trust me, if anyone’s hopeless over there, it’s yuuji.” 

you scoff. 

“please. you don’t know anything about megumi” 

“and you know nothing about yuuji. he’s still convinced that megumi is straight.” he whispers. 

you widen your eyes. 

“is he serious?” you whisper. 

sukuna leans forward, close enough that you can smell the faintest whiff of his cologne. 

“don’t you think that this thing we’re doing is fun?” he whispers. 

you lean back, and he’s keen to follow, as he closed the distance between you two. you’re confused by the glint in his eye – that it’s filled with something that you can’t really place – as you lean back. 

“i’m not sure i follow, starfire.” 

sukuna shakes his head. 

“are you so daft, robin?” 

“it appears i am.” you deadpan. 

“you and i are telling people that we’re dating. presumably, most people think that we’re probably in love. and at this point in time, that’s a lie. it’s a lie that you know and it’s a lie that i know. and every time i do something to make it obvious – like touch your cheek or respond to something you say online – you seem really exasperated. you roll your eyes at me like you think i’m insane.” 

“and?” 

“i’ve made you an accomplice in my lie. our lie. and every time i do, you seem to shift a little. you don’t really meet my eyes – just like you wouldn’t the other day or even a few minutes ago in front of alina – and i swear you get a flush down your cheeks. it’s one of my favorite things about you.” 

you clear your throat. 

“and?” 

“and it’s because we’re around other people. we have a secret. one that’s just ours. and isn’t that the most intimate thing we can share?” 

“sukuna, you…” 

right at that second, megumi and yuuji slide into the other side of the booth, the latter of which spares you such a bright smile that you have to swallow down the lump in your throat that sukuna’s words just caused. they’re so loud that it nearly startles you, as you push farther away from sukuna and place your hand on the back of your neck – in futile attempts to hide the flush creeping down your neck that he was so fond of. 

sukuna shoots you a smile. you know exactly what it means. 

“hi y/n! i’m yuuji, i’m so excited to meet you!” he states. 

you smile, physically shaking your head to will the thought away, as you extend your hand out to him. nearly disoriented from the words sukuna had just said to you. 

“me too. i’ve heard so much about you.” you respond, noting that your voice very noticeably cracks as you awkwardly extend your hand out. 

it’s something that megumi seems to catch on to pretty fast, as he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. 

“what were you guys talking about? seemed pretty deep in thought there.” megumi asks, as he flips his fingers through the menu. 

“sorry, megumi. we can’t share. it’s a secret.” sukuna murmurs, taking the time to spare you a sweet smile.

--  

--

the next time you see sukuna is almost a week after, at the after party of the premiere. he’s stuck doing last minute press – and you’re too intimidated by whatever secret the two of you are sharing to reach out again – so you stop yourself from asking to see him again.  

you refrain from thinking about the implications of everything he said another time, about what it meant that jake and aimee messaged him, about how he wouldn’t leave you defenseless, and instead opt to watch the ice slowly melt in your glass from the corner. 

to try to figure out what sukuna’s going to spring on you next time – so at the very least, this time you can muster a response. which at this point felt like an entirely impossible pursuit. 

you stick to the same corner at the party, watching megumi from a distance. 

megumi was very clearly the star of the show. you were barely able to get a hold of him since the start of the party, when he was whisked off by his producer, and basically got bounced through every small group of people at the party. 

the closest you were to being near him was your current spot in the little bar, where you’re dead across from the big promotional poster they put behind the counter. 

“hey. are you having fun?” 

you turn to your left to find yuuji at your side, his normal exuberant energy slightly diminished, as he sends you a tired smile. you give him a nod, beckoning for him to take the seat next to you and slide over the leftover soda in your class. 

“not as much fun as you, superstar.” you state. 

“i can’t even feel my feet.” he groans. 

you smile. 

“well, this is just the first of many for you. you were great in the show.” you note. 

he offers you a smile, his face so expressive that you can almost physically see that he’s touched in the curve of his cheeks, as he looks up at the poster across from the two of you. 

“you know. it’s kind of weird. when i was making this show, i could tell that it was really important. in my head, i always knew that it was going to do well because it was special, because megumi and i were making something that i’d never even felt with another person before. but a part of me always put that away, because i was scared i was being arrogant.” 

you shake your head. 

“i feel that way when i write music sometimes. especially when lyrics are particularly scathing or…or personal. it’s almost like i know that it’s going to reach people because it’s something that really happened to me. but then i try to convince myself that i’m just saying that and it’s just a song, that it won’t really hit people, because i think i’m making it up sometimes.” 

you pause. 

“what i’m trying to say, probably in a really long winded way that definitely didn’t come across the way i intended, is that you’re not alone when you feel that. but you also should know that your performance was really good. i thought it was very touching.” 

yuuji smiles, almost faltering in his eyes a little bit, before he turns to you. you note that he seems particularly reserved, almost flighty from the way he’s twitching in his seat, as you scoot closer to him on the bench. 

“you know. my brother said that if i wanted to, i could ask you anything. and that you were so nice that you’d probably indulge and make me feel better.” 

you smile. 

“i’m flattered that he thinks i’m so nice. and he is right, you know. is there something i could help you with?” you ask. 

yuuji swallows hard. 

“do you love megumi?” he asks. 

“what?” 

“like love love him? because he mentioned to me in passing one time that the two of you used to date and i know that you guys are really close and was wondering if it was some like…weird years long situationship that was going on or something.” 

you nod. so that’s why he thought megumi was straight. 

“would it kill you if i gave you every little detail?” you ask. 

“well…” 

“i promise that it will make you feel better.” 

“okay.” 

you smile, swiveling your chair and scooting closer, to lower your voice, at least to the point where he could still hear you. 

“i met megumi when i was in the third grade. and really, i can’t even explain how we became friends.”

“what?” 

you shrug. 

“i feel like everyone else i know, even with other friends of mine, i’m able to remember exactly when i met them. the exact moment that i realized that they were special or that i really liked them. but i can’t even remember where i met megumi. all i know is that as long as i can remember, he’s always been around. always been in my corner when i needed him.” 

yuuji smiles.  

“when we reached sixth grade, he asked me to be his girlfriend. and i said yeah, because i figured if anyone was going to be my boyfriend, it had to be him. it seemed almost natural at that point. it was that weird age where people started segregating awkwardly, asking each other to dances and…people already thought we were together to begin with. i didn’t talk to other boys. i didn’t even talk to other people. if i was going to entertain the thought of someone, they only person i could even tolerate long enough was megumi. so it was going to be him.”  

“there was a day after school where we were both waiting for our parents. both of our dads were kind of fickle in that way, never really came on time to pick us up, amongst other things. and he just asked me if i wanted to kiss him. and i did. and he bursted out into tears after the fact.” 

“what?” 

you look back over your shoulder, where he’s slung across satoru’s shoulder and giving him a disgusted glare, before you turn back and smile. 

“loud tears. like…snot filled tears. for a split second, i thought i bit him or something and just did it wrong.” 

“but?” 

you grin. 

“but he told me that i was his favorite person in the world. that there was one that he liked as much as me. and that if he kissed me and felt nothing, he wasn’t going to ever feel anything when he kissed a girl.” 

you can see the relief in yuuji’s face, that it’s almost instantaneous in the way that he smiles and the relaxation spreading in his shoulders. you reach forward, wrapping your hands around his wrist and squeezing once. 

“what did you say after that?” he asked. 

“i told him that it wasn’t a big deal that he didn’t like kissing girls. that i didn’t even really think i wanted to kiss anyone when i grew up. i was pretty morbid at that time, sixth grade and all, so we both just went about it. nothing really changed after the fact.” you respond. 

yuuji smiles, before awkwardly wincing. 

“i’m sorry for asking. that’s actually kind of embarrassing, but i couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. and it makes more sense because…well, megumi told me about his dad. about how you were the only family that he had and that no one would compare to you.” 

you smile. 

“it’s less of a romantic thing than you think. there was a time where we both lived in a studio apartment, by ourselves, and barely made ends meet.” 

yuuji nods. 

“he told me about that. the thing with his dad. and with your…” 

yuuji almost pauses. he catches himself before confessing what it is that he knows about you – what you’re assuming is the secret that he was asked to keep. 

“you know, your brother is right. if you ever want to ask me something, you can just ask.” 

yuuji smiles. 

“i don’t want to impose. you’re very special to megumi and he’s very special to me, so..i’d do whatever i can. if you ever need my help with anything. maybe you guys could let me in on your little family thing too. for you i mean. i’m kind of great at that type of thing.” 

you reach forward and put your hand in his. 

“i’ll take you up on that offer one day, okay?” 

you clear your throat. 

“did sukuna have fun?” you ask. 

“has he not been around? i’m sure he feels horrible, but his agent is really a stickler about networking at stuff like this.” 

you shake your head. 

“i don’t mind. i fully understand, i was just wondering. in general, if he had a good time at his first premiere.” 

yuuji smiles. 

“this is a really big deal to him.” he murmurs. 

“i can imagine. biggest premiere of your career, especially considering your background and all.” 

yuuji and sukuna – and even their brother and sister-in-law – were one of a kind that way. actors who had no previous background, no connections, to rely on when they made their way through. 

“yeah. and it’s all because of sukuna too, mind you.” 

you feel an insistent tapping on your shoulder, only to find jake standing at your side, eyes wide and frantic. you can’t help but immediately grimace, taking a split second to shoot yuuji a glare, who understands almost instantaneously. 

“i would get up and leave if i were you.” he murmurs. 

you glare at him. 

“and why would i leave?” you ask. 

“aimee had a lot to drink. and we were arguing a lot, about some stuff. and now she’s like thirty seconds away from reaching the counter to scream at you probably.” he whispers. 

“and what could i do to be so deserving of a screaming match?” you ask. 

jake frowns. 

“maybe i said some stuff. made some comparisons, but that’s besides the point.” he states. 

you look past his shoulder, nearly bumping your head into yuuji’s to find that jake’s not lying in the slightest, and slowly but surely, aimee is side stepping her way towards where you’re standing. 

that was one of the scariest things about her. that drinking alcohol didn’t seem to do what it did to everyone else – she didn’t excessively laugh or overshare or tell people they were beautiful in a dirty bathroom. 

she took it as an opportunity to be ruthlessly mean. say what was really on her mind. 

you turn to yuuji, shooting him an awkward smile, before leaning closer. 

“could you grab megumi? or his car keys? i think it might be time for me to go and i came in his car.” you murmur. 

“i’ll bring him back later, don’t worry about it.” he state. 

yuuji’s quick to run off, almost embarrassingly fast, as you turn back to jake, and narrow your eyes at him. 

“what are you still doing here?” you mutter. 

“i don’t know. trying to make sure you leave before she gets over here.” 

“don’t worry. i don’t need your empty concern for me. especially, when you’re the one who put me in this situation.” 

“oh, don’t be like that. things…things escalated really fast. and not in the way that i wanted and you should know that…” 

“i didn’t even realize that you were still friends with her. that you even talked let alone…did god knows what when we were together.” 

“it jus happened.” 

you roll your eyes at him, making every effort to push past him towards the door. but it’s right at that minute that aimee reaches the chair where you’re sitting, and you swallow hard to brace yourself for whatever it is that she’s going to say. 

“y/n.” 

“i’d watch what i was going to say if i were you. you’ve had a lot to drink.” sukuna states, the tone in his voice is so firm that it nearly makes you shudder. 

a demeanor that you have yet to see. possibly another secret. 

“sukuna.” 

“don’t worry. we’re leaving.” he states, reaching for the coat that’s slung behind the back of your chair and tucking it into his arm. 

“i’m so glad that you’re here for this. i was actually just going to tell y/n here that the two of you are perfect for each other.” aimee states. 

“is that right?” you ask. 

you step back as she moves closer, noting that sukuna’s hand is hovering behind you, on the lower part of your back. almost precautionary. 

“your piece of shit junkie dad is the reason you won’t give in to anyone for real. you couldn’t win in a relationship even if you tried.” 

you swallow hard. 

“what the hell did you just say to me?” 

“i said that your junkie dad is going to follow you around until the day you die. hell, i bet even to this day, you’re still going home once in a while and digging him out of the hole that he put himself in. standing right there with him. stuck in the fact that that’s where you came from. where you’ll always be from. every single shitty lie that you tell and every person that you cross should be a reminder – there’s no difference between you and him.” 

sukuna looks down at you, eyes almost wide, before she looks over at him. 

“and you. you won’t ever be enough for her. but you know that already don’t you? you’re a chronic flight risk – because deep down, you know there’s nothing about you that’s even likeable in the first place. couple that with the fact that your heart is quite literally nonfunctional, well.” 

she takes a deep breath in. 

 “you’re a match made in heaven.” she finishes. 

you’re the one who lunges first.  

--

you don’t remember the rest of the conversation. only the fact that sukuna dragged you out of there, that you were sitting in his car with freezing cold air blowing in your face, and his hand  was intertwined in yours on your lap. 

you look down, the words echoing in your head – every single one of them – as you note the calloused skin on his knuckles. a burn over the middle and ring knuckle. you run your finger over it, earning you a hiss from sukuna as you turn over to apologize. 

“oh, i’m sorry.” you murmur. 

“not your fault. i was trying to take the coffee out too fast the other day. skin’s still sensitive.” 

you nod. the two of you return to the silence, the pale glow of the streetlights reflecting across both of your faces, basking the entire car in an almost dim red. you place your other hand on his, cradling the free hand that he offered you in both of yours, and look down. 

“i hate to interrupt whatever it is that’s running through your mind, but do you want me to take you to yours? or are you okay being at mine?” 

you shake your head. 

“mine. please.” 

sukuna smiles. 

“you don’t have to beg, you know?” 

you scoff. 

“how was that begging?” 

“please.” he mimics, the tone in his voice so shrill that it almost makes you laugh.

“i don’t even sound like that.” 

“well, to me,  you do. you’ll just have to point me in the right direction to yours okay.” 

you nod, sinking down into the chair, as you look ahead at the empty streets. there’s no one even parked on the sides, the pale moonlight reflecting against the windows of the building as you ride in silence. 

sukuna’s driving slow. what you’re assuming is uncharacteristically slow, because it feels like he spares every free second that he has to look over at where you’re sitting, like he’s almost trying to figure out what to do next. 

“do you want to stay when we get to my house?” you ask. 

“stay where?” he asks. 

you shrug. 

“with me?” you ask. 

“oh. i can stay. i’d love to stay.” he corrects. 

“don’t get too excited now.” you state. 

sukuna has a whisper of a smile on his face. 

“i can stay. i just…i have something i have to do tomorrow, if i can do it at your place.” 

“what’s that?”

sukuna clears his throat. 

“i need to redye my hair before i go to the awards show on sunday. the pink is sort of fading into white at this point, which is what i wanted for the premiere, but now i need to refresh it. maybe you can help me.” 

you give him a quiet nod. and wonder if you’ll regret letting him stay in the morning. 

--

--

an: everyone thank user @/paperphytes for commenting on dream girl three times over the span of like four months and asking me to update. third time was a charm apparently. anyways next chapter is called juno HEHEHEH

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[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two Three Four Five

Eddie smells fresh and clean, his hair is fluffy and...really quite long now. Steve is vaguely aware that cutting curly hair is like, a separate thing to cutting straight hair. Like a totally different thing that needs to be learned. But still, Eddie doesn’t want to get an actual hair cut, and he seems to have a strong aversion to the idea of going outside and dealing with strangers, but his bangs are really getting in the way now, so Steve just carefully snips, a little at a time, not taking too much off. Steve uses his fingers to fluff Eddie’s bangs, snipping again at the curls that are longer than the others, “what do you think?”

Eddie stands, inspecting himself in the mirror, “yeah. Thanks Steve.”

He uses the towel to flick stray hairs off his face, wafting his shirt a little, scars showing at his midriff. He catches Steve looking, so Steve shuffles away, making an excuse, “I’ll get a broom.”

Steve sweeps while Eddie wipes stray hairs off the counter. “Anything else I can help with?” Steve offers.

Eddie sighs, looking a little squirely for a second, before he clearly comes to a decision, “I, the kids have been...asking me to run a game?”

“Right,” Steve starts slowly. He knows Eddie has the books out sometimes, knows he’s planning campaigns when he has the energy to do it, but he blows the kids off every time and they don’t push, clearly able to sense Eddie’s still...recovering.

“I think I want to try...I’ve got an idea for a campaign, just a little one. Just an afternoon.”

“Of course, I think...that’s good. If you feel up to it. Do you need my...help?” Steve has no idea how he could possibly help.

“Yeah...could I...talk you through the campaign, see what you think? And on the day, would you help me set up?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. Anything you need, okay?”

“Okay...thank you.”

“They won’t concentrate if they’re hungry, trust me.”

Eddie just watches as Steve makes up a tray of sandwiches. Some deli meat and cheese, some just cheese, and some he pushes his luck with, adding lettuce and cucumber to the mix. Who knows, they might eat it.

He has eggs boiling, and when the timer dings he cools them in the sink, tipping away the boiling water and running cold over them so he can peel them, “want an egg?” He offers one to Eddie, who, surprisingly, takes it, eating it in small bites.

Eddie’s more of a grazer, and he rarely sits and eats a full meal with Steve. Steve just keeps making extra of whatever he’s having, just telling Eddie where it is. It’s at least half gone most of the time, so Steve takes it as a win.

There’s a bowl of boiled eggs, a tray of sandwiches, a big serving bowl of chips and jugs of fruit juice out on the side by the time Steve is done. “I dilute the juice a little,” Steve confesses, “too much sugar in it. Those kids are hyper enough.”

Eddie actually smiles.

Steve moves the table and chairs while Eddie watches, “you got your map? And your shield thingy?”

Eddies goes, coming back laden with his books and his notes. A second trip brings out the hand drawn map, the shield thing that he unfolds in front of the seat at the head of the table.

“I think you’re going to do great,” Steve tells him. Eddie just nods, extra quiet today.

Maybe he’s saving his energy up for the kids. Or maybe it’s nerves, who knows? Either way he’s fiddling with his hair, starring at nothing, free arm wrapped tightly around himself. Steve can’t leave that.

Eddie almost startles, when he gets close, not realizing until the last second that Steve’s in front of him, “hey, come on, it’s okay,” and Eddie accepts the hug easily. Eddie sighs big in Steve’s embrace, settling, “you smell different to him,” Eddie whispers.

“Better or worse?”

“Neither...just different.”

Steve swallows thickly, giving one last squeeze before they part. Steve finds things to do in the kitchen while he tries to gather himself together, the kids will be here any minute.

The kids are watching a movie. Steve’s pretty sure the evening went well; whenever he stuck his head in the dining room, they all seemed engrossed, at least. Every now and again, there would be raised voices, or cheering, so, yeah, Steve figures they had a good time.

When Nancy’s car pulls up in the drive, Eddie tells Steve, “I’ll be a minute,” and then sheepishly slips out the front door.

Steve sees him in the passenger seat, talking to Nancy. He figures something emotional. Probably. Something Steve is too stunted to handle. Steve’s glad really, that Eddie has the girls to talk to about all this stuff. And then immediately feels a little guilty for escaping the burden of whatever that conversation is.

Steve knows there’s something up, from the quiet way Eddie’s watching him. He has something on the tip of his tongue, Steve can tell; it doesn’t come until the next day.

“I’m...moving back in with Wayne. Nancy said she’d help with my stuff, tomorrow, probably.”

It feels out of left field, Steve made unsteady by it for a second before he redirects. Eddie is an adult, and Wayne is family, Steve can’t keep him here.

He remembers the state of Eddie’s room, the stench of alcohol and stale sweat and fresh vomit, “will you be alright?”

“Yeah I...I’m pretty sure I’m done with the drink now, if that’s what you’re asking?”

It kind of is what Steve’s asking, but also, it isn’t, “well. Kind of. But...besides that, will you be okay?”

Eddie shrugs, “I think I need to...find some work, or something. Start standing on my own two feet, if I can. Be a...person.”

Two days ago Eddie couldn’t even face getting a haircut because he’d have to speak to a stranger, so it all kind of stinks of bull to Steve, “if that’s...what you need to do. But...you know you can always be here right? No matter what? Don’t feel like you have to go, or anything.”

“No...I know. You’re...you’re a really good guy Steve. And I...appreciate everything, you know? Really.”

“Yeah, I mean, yeah, no worries.”

It happens way too fast. Eddie’s meager belongings are boxed, his clothes are in trash bags, and apparently Wayne has redecorated Eddie’s room at the new trailer.

“I could have taken you?”

“It’s fine...Nancy’s good to help,” Eddie pulls a pensive face, "I really gotta’ get my van sorted, she hasn’t even been started for...months. Hell, I don’t even know if she will start. I should...go and deal with that.”

“Okay.”

Steve carries out two boxes and then makes himself scarce, doing a final once over. It’s not like Eddie’s going far; if he leaves something here by accident, Steve can just drop it out to him, it’s not like it would be an issue.

Still, he finds some last bits of clothes, forgotten in the dryer. Steve folds them before he carries them from the utility, stopping at the corner of the lounge, just out of sight. He shouldn’t listen to Eddie and Nancy’s hushed conversation, but he does.

“Wayne’s fine,” Nancy’s voice is low enough Steve has to strain to hear it, “he’s fine if you’re here or there. You need to do what’s best for you Eddie.”

“I can’t...I want to stay here.”

“Then-”

Eddie cuts her off with a frustrated noise, speaks with a fierce whisper, “I love him. I love him so much it hurts because I don’t know if it’s him I love or some magical Steve I dreamed up, okay? He keeps, doing things Nancy. You don’t understand. He keeps being so nice, and good and just...Steve. He’s just so much like my Steve and I can’t fucking stand it any more, okay?”

“Okay,” she shushes him, comforts him, “hush, okay, it’s okay. It’ll be okay, whatever you need.”

Steve takes the clothes back to the dryer; he’ll pretend to find them in a couple of days.

[backtothefanfiction]

TWO: ADRENALINE

Summary: settling into your new role, you and Joaquin slowly start to get to know each other.

Warnings: a little violence, a little fluff and feels

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: I don’t know if I’m happy with this and it’s late so may be some mistakes but it’s here anyway. Also I’m publishing this on my phone so won’t be adding the tag list until later in an edit on my laptop, sorry for any inconvenience.

Two weeks and five missions later, you and Joaquin were working better together than salt and pepper. It may have taken you both a moment or two to start with on those first couple of missions to find your rhythm, but once you did, you were totally unstoppable. And although you were only at a computer in your tiny apartment, both the audio and visual feeds from the FEARN drone and his suit, made you feel like you were right there in the action.

Joaquin would tell you to do a lap to survey the area and you would hold your breath to stay as quiet as possible, even though no one was ever able to hear your voice other than Joaquin. Bullets would come flying his way and you would find yourself shaking with adrenaline as he ran for cover. You thought after the first couple of missions it would get easier watching him fight, but somehow (when you weren’t fearing for his life) you found yourself getting all flustered whenever you watched him flip one of the bad guys over his shoulder, or he’d do a spinning kick and knocking them on their asses. He was impressive and he always left you breathless.

“Wooooo!” Joaquin crowed as he pumped his fists in the air in triumph. “Did anybody see that!?” he cried out. You watched his POV through the second monitor as he looked around him for anybody, the man desperate for an audience, but as always, it was just you.

“I did. I’m always watching,” you said through the comm link, but somehow, the way his head hung low, told you that he didn’t think your presence counted.

“Thanks Fearn,” he muttered to himself as he began to trek back up the dirt path at the back of the property.

It wasn’t the first sign he’d given you that he didn’t think you were a real person but you still weren’t completely sure he wasn’t either, especially on the times you flirted and held longer conversation with one another.

“Would you like me to send the footage to Cap?” you asked him in a teasing tone, hoping the more human like teasing interaction would reassure him of your actual presence in the world.

He froze. “No, no, no.” he quickly said and you could feel his cheeks growing pink even though you couldn’t see them.

“But you said you wanted someone else to see.” you replied.

“Yeah, I did, but like in the moment,” he replied. “I feel like sending him a video of me kicking some dude’s ass is bragging and he just won’t think I’m cool.”

“I think you’re cool.” you replied through the com link.

“Thanks Fearn,” he replied. But once again his voice sounded a little dejected.

“That’s alright, Joaquin.”

You watched as he began to recheck over some of the modifications on the arms of the suit as he walked, you flying the drone at his shoulder as he made his way back towards the warehouse where Cap and a crew of military personnel were waiting for his return.

“Umm, Fearn, you can go to sleep now.” Joaquin instructed, his voice still a little dejected as he approached them.

You didn’t want to shut down. He was clearly going through something and you wanted to make sure he was okay, but it was your job to follow orders so you reluctantly docked the drone on the back of his suit and shut it down, ready for the next time he had use of you.

You waited a few more minutes just to be sure the mission was officially over and you weren’t needed, before you finally logged off, knowing you’d be able to take a longer break for a while. You looked at the time. 3:30pm. Time for a coffee and sweet treat reward. But as you slipped on your shoes and grabbed your keys and tote bag and headed out the door to pop to your local coffee shop, your mind was still focused on Joaquin.

It gnawed at the pit of your stomach all the way to the coffee shop and back. You tried to push it to one side and enjoy the slice of banana bread you had bought as your treat whilst watching a couple episodes of your favourite tv show of the moment, but still your mind kept wandering to him. You just wanted to know he was okay. But other than Fearn you had no idea how else to contact him.

“Hey, Fearn?” his voice suddenly called out into your appartment and you raced over to your computer to activate the drone. When the video feed kicked in, you realised he wasn’t in his suit. In fact he didn’t look to be on a mission at all. Was this… where he lived?

“Fearn?” he said again and although it wasn’t your real name, the way he said it made you ache for him.

“Yes, Joaquin? How can I be of assistance to you?”

There was a pause as he leant forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he thought.

“You said you could send the footage of me fighting earlier to Cap. Umm, do you keep all the footage from my missions?” he asked.

“Yes. All your missions are recorded for training and security purposes.” you replied.

“Can you access them and play them back for me?” he asked nervously, his hands rubbing together to alleviate some of his tension, as he struggled to keep eye contact with the drone.

You woke up your second monitor and began pulling up files and video footage ready. “Which mission would you like to see first?” you asked.

“Ummm,” he mumbled as he thought for a moment. “Can you bring up the footage from that rooftop fight last week?” he asked.

You began flicking through the folders on your screen finding the mission he was asking about and opening up the video footage. “Is there a particular moment you would like to revisit?” you asked.

He rubbed his hand bashfully through his hair before scratching at the back of his neck. “Can I rewatch the bit where I swooped in and kicked the guy off the top of the roof?” he asked.

You smiled, remembering the moment well. You fast forwarded through the video footage on your screen until you found it. You then manoeuvred FEARN so you could project the video onto his blank wall behind his bed.

“Wow,” he sighed as you activated the footage, the moment playing out for him again, just how he had seen it the first time from his suits point of view.

You rewatched with him as he swooped in and knocked the guy over the edge of the building as he landed seamlessly on the edge looking down. You silently counted down with the version of him in the recorded memory as the guy inched closer and closer to the ground, his screams of panic calling back up to him. When he got to one he stepped off the roof himself and began to free fall after him, the jet on the back of his suit kicking in to propel him forward faster so he could catch up with the man.

He caught him just before he was able to hit the concrete, the man literally pissing himself as Joaquin shot him back up again to the top of the roof and dumping him down. The man rolled across the gravel at the top as he landed.

“Joaquin?” You found yourself asking. He turned his attention back towards the drone to let you know he was listening. “What does it feel like?” you asked him. “To fly like that?”

You turned the sound down on the video, the rest of the fight just becoming background noise as Joaquin answered you. “Like the most thrilling adrenaline rush you’ll ever get.” he replied, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he thought on it. “It’s like getting to go on a rollercoaster every day, except there’s no track to follow and you get to make up the ride as you go along.” He paused a second before he continued. “Actually FEARN, can I tell you a secret.” he said, leaning into the drone as if it were a real person, his voice lowering conspiratorially. “It’s actually ruined rollercoasters for me.” You almost laughed at that. “I tried to go to six flags with my cousin a few months ago, but every ride I went on just felt boring. There just wasn’t any thrill in it anymore.”

“That sounds sad,” you replied, your heart breaking for him.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” he replied, his attention returning to the video on the wall. “Can you replay the footage from today?” he eventually asked?

“Of course,” you replied and that’s how you remained for the rest of the afternoon, rewatching his video footage and occasionally picking his brain until you were both ready to call it a day.

[jellybeanusstuff]

Firelight AU Claggor and Mylo + headcanons :D

Hey yall! I finished my concept drawings of Claggor in the firelight AU! although i’m a mylo enthusiast, im a huge Claggor fan too! So cheers to my fellow Claggor fans! This is for you :D

I compiled all my new headcanons thus far of Firelight Claggor and Mylo in this post. My other headcanons of Mylo are in previous posts and comments in case you wanted more and haven’t checked them out yet :)

I hope y’all enjoy reading because I’ve got a LOONG list. Also, from now on when i say firelight, i mean this is an au where Mylo and Claggor were to survive in the MU.

Firelight Mylo Headcanons

• Mylo puts his creative mind to use and is determined to prove the things he finds aren’t junk. He loves the idea of finding potential, something he wished others had seen in him growing up.

• Inspired by Ekko’s work, he collects scraps and turns them into gadgets or art. (I like to think his art is similar to Dean’s from the Iron Giant) However, his tinkering doesn’t always go smoothly and he fails a lot. This deepens his guilt over how he treated Powder.

• Ekko’s support helps him focus and sharpen his skills. Eventually, he converts a nose hair trimmer he found at his last “job” from S1 into a taser, and crafts a replica with Ekko’s modifications. The tasers stun on contact (suitable and convenient for Mylo, bc he’s aware he’s not the best fighter or shot), and if needed, they can fire plasma beams strong enough to cut through metal. While deadly, Mylo refuses to use them on people unless absolutely necessary (he’s never been one for gore.. it’s too messy for him) Instead, he reserves the plasma beams for nonliving things. The plasma beams are also highly energy demanding and need a lot of time to recharge. Another reason why Mylo doesn’t use it often.

• Physically, he’s built solid muscle, especially in his core and legs, for high-speed hoverboarding. The faster you go, the more control you need.

• He ties his hair up on missions since loose hair and sharp turns don’t mix. But he’s tender-headed (his hair is stubborn, and only wants to point in one direction), so the second he’s home and takes it down, he feels instant relief.

Firelight Claggor Headcanons

• Claggor is a powerhouse, both in mind and muscle. He strategizes with Ekko, fights off Silco’s men, specializes in search and rescue, and maintains the Firelights’ hoverboards.

- Claggor hates when Mylo goes on recon missions by himself or in general. He won’t say it outright, but you can tell by the way he stress eats in private and watches Mylo like a hawk when he returns. He makes sure he is the last to see Mylo set off for work, and the first to meet and check if he’s okay. Losing another family member isn’t an option.

• He’s also developed a passion for smithing, helping build weapons, armor, and parts for Ekko’s inventions.

• Strength-wise, he carries the heaviest gear on missions, fights like a tank, and could crush a skull with his bare hands. Over the years, he’s packed on over 50 pounds of muscle, surpassing even Vander in terms of strength and size. Although, you can tell by his belly he wouldn’t turn down a cupcake.

• The downside is that his size has slowed him down. He can still run and climb, but he wasn’t as agile or quick as he used to be. He can hoverboard but his balance isn’t the best either. So, he prefers fighting on solid ground whenever possible and will rely on Mylo for quick getaways.

Note: I’ve seen a looot of different opinions and takes on Claggor’s body in the Firelight AU and AU, and I wanted my design to be as realistic as possible. As a competitive powerlifter myself, I’ve seen firsthand how exercise can impact people of all body types in powerlifting, bodybuilding, and strongman communities. I also love watching Arnold Strongman competitions and when I look at how Claggor moves and fights in Arcane S1, he reminds me a lot of strongmen and heavyweight powerlifters.

The biggest and strongest athletes aren’t just jacked but they tend to have a higher fat percentage, which helps with stability and sheer power. That’s why I chose to draw Claggor with the atlas stone, bigger muscles, wider frame, and a big belly to really capture that strength. If he had survived I truly believe he would have trained his strength to its fullest potential. Bro is a BEAST

Firelight Mylo & Claggor Headcanons

• Together, Mylo and Claggor are an unstoppable duo. Mylo stuns enemies with his tasers, while Claggor finishes them off. If Claggor is in danger, Mylo swoops in to pull him to safety.

• For fast getaways, Claggor modified Mylo’s hoverboard to fit both of them by adding extensions that can be turned on and off (Mylo steers, Claggor fights) Claggor even tinkered Mylo’s mask with a tracker to monitor his safety.

• They’re fantastic with kids. The kids at the firelight hideout love the two of them! Claggor gives piggyback rides and plays the “big bad villain,” while Mylo takes the kids on hoverboard lessons and playfully tackles them during tag or another chasing game. They love the rush.

• When they argue, they duel. No petty bickering just straight-up fights 💀 It’s usually over stupid stuff, similar to how they argued over the bat in S1. It got so intense once, they almost cut down the tree and Ekko had to step in. Now, they take it elsewhere. (if you have an idea where, lemme know!!!)

- When Mylo has the time after his recon mission, sometimes he flies to Jericho’s to pick up snacks for himself and Claggor, and treats for the kids. Claggor likes to ask Mylo for certain food items or to “just get the usual”

————————————————————————

Those are all my headcanons!! Lemme know what you think and if you have anymore to add :D!! I wanna hear all your thoughts!!

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: how they could make you worse.

WARNINGS: references to co-dependent relationships (kaito, lyca, towa), subaru's is a lil manipulative as always, references to violence (taiga), references to depression habits (ren), etc etc i think thats it.

COMMENTS: ok i wrote some Stuff in here. i would like to PREFANCE that this is your relationship with the tkdb boys at its worst. either someone isn't communicating in a way the other person can understand or your personalities just don't mesh well, and that is OKAY. these are just my thoughts and are by no means canon. so please do not yell at me in the tags i am just a silly ritsu kisser.

also i wrote this with the mc's personality in mind but its not Her yk.

Jin ruins your reputation. It isn’t his fault that Frostheim has sunk its teeth into you, making you the prime target of horrible gossip. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, you’ll end up shutting everyone else now. Nobody understands you but Jin, anyway.

Tohma makes you sneaky. You make so many secrets, standing by his side, that it's safer to lie than to be honest. You become someone who can’t trust not only the people around them, but themselves as well. Ironically, Tohma is your most trusted confidant, regardless.

Luca makes you complacent. You’re so used to having protection that you never learn how to stand up and defend yourself. You rely on his power and courage, allowing him to run into fight after fight, allowing him to carry the injuries you could have sustained for him.

Kaito builds your ego up and up and up until you begin to believe you really are the best. He does all of this while regularly putting himself down in front of you, which ends up draining you emotionally. At the end of the day, you end up spending all of your time with Kaito, reassuring him because you are his goddess and the only one who can.

Alan wants nothing more to protect you, but he knows deep down Vagastrom is going to get to you at some point. It happens one afternoon when he isn’t there to stop it, and all he receives is a text from Sho that reads “they’re in the pit.” He didn’t expect to come back and find you victorious, your body battered and bruised.

Sho seems like the perfect boyfriend on paper. And really, he isn’t the problem. It’s his inability to say no to Leo’s bets. Whether you like it or not, dating Sho means you have a massive target on your back, and Leo is aiming a shotgun at every single insecurity. You may end up becoming more self conscious under Leo’s constant scrutiny.

Leo comes with a large amount of problems, and that’s putting it lightly. He gets into pointless drama, both online and at school. He berates you at every turn. He makes you frustrated, gets you wrapped up in all of his bets, and if you become too complacent, he will take advantage of your kindness.

Haru makes you self deprived. You want to help him so badly, but it comes at a physical cost. You aren’t a ghoul. Waking up at 4am every morning and staying out til 9pm just isn’t feasible. You have a life, you have a job here. You need to rest. You can’t keep running around like Haru does...you just can’t.

Towa finds so much delight in being your protector. He said you were perfect, Dandelion! He’d do anything for you! You gradually slip further into his shadow as he becomes more and more defensive, hanging over you like a shadow just in case he needs to catch the next inconvenience. He does it because he loves you, you know?

Ren would rather not go outside if he can help it. If you don’t end up dragging him out, the two of you can very quickly become hermits who never see the sun. It’s so easy to get depressed and dehydrated and lose all of your social connections when you do nothing but watch movies with your boyfriend all day.

Taiga likes to give you adrenaline rushes. He’s reckless and impulsive, always dragging you into his schemes as he cackles about how much fun you’re having. It’s easy to forget that you’re actively sustaining injuries when you’re always running on adrenaline. Let’s hope he’s keeping an eye out for you.

Romeo does not trust many people to work with him. He often puts people beneath you on some level. If it gets to be too much, he can not only end up turning people against you, but shaping your own mindset into thinking that you’re better than them. Than everyone.

Ritsu makes you an even harder worker, to the point that a few of your social relationships may start to crumble. You don’t want to talk to anyone who isn’t a close friend anymore since all of your time is eaten up by him and your business partner ventures. It’s not like you mind, though.

Subaru isn’t as much of a pushover as he has people believe. He knows you know it too, he knows you can see the mischief in his face when he says something snarky about Haku and Leo as payback for something they said to him earlier. And although he’s always easier on Haku, he can feel you start to play his games. He didn’t want to get you involved, but if you’ve already caught onto his game, he might as well indulge you.

Haku would never lie to you, but he will also never tell you the truth. He hides what he truly thinks behind soft smiles and “it’ll be okay,” but you can never bring yourself to believe him anymore. You’re not foolish enough to trust someone blindly. Not again.

Zenji leaves you lonely. He’s always there, in the back of your mind, whispering sweet nothings into your ear while you sleep, but his hands just cannot reach you. He could sing to the whole world about how much he loves you and you would still be left wanting. It isn’t his fault, you know it isn’t. But it still aches.

Edward doesn’t tell you the blatant, honest truth half the time. He’s always masquerading, putting on a facade of playful innocence while he carries power that could obliterate you on the spot. You learn to be wary of the ghouls, to distrust them and keep them far away, because if Edward can threaten you, so can they.

Rui makes you jealous. He’s always flirting with other people like it’s instinctual. You long to be his and for him to be yours, but with how he acts you doubt he’s ready for commitment. So, you steam in your jealousy and fury, pushing Rui away in hopes of getting over him.

Lyca makes you more uncooperative. You don’t know how many of these people you can trust, especially since so many of them are nothing like you. It’s easier to never reach out, to stay behind, to stay with Lyca, so that he never has to worry about you leaving, and he will never leave you.

Yuri berates you at every twist and turn no matter what you do. You’ve seen him stretched to the end of his ropes, talking to himself while he works, murmuring about his mother, and yet it's like he doesn’t trust you at all. You feel disrespected, brushed off, and so deeply hurt. You doubt you will ever tear your walls down for someone that easily ever again. You won’t let anyone try like he did.

Jiro is blunt. He’s always been honest with you, but that can sometimes cause tension. He doesn’t seem to understand that sometimes, you really do just want to hear something nice, and not just scientific feedback. It makes your heart ache when he regards you so coldly. Where did you go wrong?

[starryhyuck]

coveting you. (m) — PATREON EXCLUSIVE

pairing: markhyuck x afab!reader

words: 4.9k+

summary: hotel room walls are thin, but mark guesses that you and donghyuck really don’t care.

genre: smut

warnings: voyeurism, sir kink, daddy kink, spanking, pussy slapping, degradation, breeding kink, public sex, fingering, cocky!hyuck, face slapping, squirting, choking

this fic is exclusive to both tiers on my patreon, which you can access here! below is a tumblr preview

Mark swears on his life that he isn’t the one who started this. He didn’t necessarily stop it either, but that’s besides the point.

You don’t visit Donghyuck often due to your conflicting schedules, with his being way more hectic than yours. Every once in a while though, your boyfriend will profess that he misses you and desperately needs to see you. He’ll buy a plane ticket for you at the next concert date, not caring which country it’s in or if you’ve even requested time off from work.

Mark likes you. You’re not as rowdy as Donghyuck, possessing more of a level-headed mindset. You’re easy on the eyes too, but he’d never tell Donghyuck that in fear of his member teasing him relentlessly for having a crush on his girlfriend. You’ve spoken briefly to Mark in passing, complimenting his skills on stage or asking politely if he would like to join you and Donghyuck for dinner. Mark usually declines, not wanting to intrude on your personal time.

The first time Donghyuck flew you out and you slept over, Mark was placed in the hotel room on the complete opposite end of the floor. He didn’t hear anything regarding your antics until Renjun grumbled the next day about not getting any sleep because of the two lovebirds.

The time after that, Mark was two doors down from Donghyuck’s room but he swears he never heard a peep. Jungwoo was the one complaining the following morning, requesting for you to be mindful of other people’s bedtimes.

This time, however, Mark is situated directly next to your room. They’ve just wrapped up their latest concert and after a quick basketball game with Chenle, all Mark wants to do is curl up in bed and fall asleep.

You don’t exactly make that task very easy for him.

He’s tucked safely under the blankets when his ears catch your moan. At first, he’s not certain he heard you correctly. He shakes off the feeling before snuggling deeper into the duvet.

Then, Donghyuck’s unmistakable voice snarls, “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

A whimper vibrates through the flimsy wall. “Y-Yes. I promise, sir. I’ll be a good girl.”

Mark’s wide awake now. His eyes are as wide as saucers, in pure disbelief of what he’s currently hearing.

“I don’t think so,” Donghyuck chuckles. “You’ve been acting like such a brat tonight. If you’re such a good girl, why were you draped all over Mark earlier, hm? This sweet little pussy was dripping for him, I just know it.”

You had been asking Mark for guitar lessons during soundcheck, smiling shyly at him whenever you plucked at the wrong cord. He taught you patiently in between practicing dances, showing you the basics before offering to teach you in longer sessions. Whenever he glanced over at Donghyuck, your boyfriend didn’t seem to care about whatever occurred between you.

Evidently, Mark sees that this isn’t the case.

“No, sir,” you deny. “I was just asking him to teach me guitar, I swear!”

“I don’t think so, baby. I know what I saw. You were basically asking him to fuck you in private. What, you don’t want me to watch?”

A loud slap echoes throughout the room. Mark jumps at the sound and lifts the blanket to gaze down at his sweatpants, swallowing when he sees a noticeable bulge making an appearance. He shuts his eyes tightly, hoping sleep will somehow find him so he can forget this all happened in the morning.

“I do want you to watch, sir.”

“Yeah? You want me to watch Mark pound this tight pussy of yours? You want me to watch him fuck you until you’re crying? God, you’re pathetic.”

Another slap jolts through Mark’s chest. He shudders, resisting the urge to tug at his length while he imagines what Donghyuck could possibly be doing to you in the next room over. He pictures you bent over the edge of the mattress, ass shoved high in the air as Donghyuck’s hand collides with the skin roughly.

Fuck. Mark should really go to bed.

want to read the rest? access both tiers on my patreon here!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Imagine...Dean After A Rough Hunt

Pairing: Dean x reader

___________

Most of the time after hunts, the boys came home with a few bumps and scratches. Occasionally, they needed stitches. Rarely would they actually show any sign of pain. Never had Dean come home with a face beat to hell and no words to accompany him.

“Is he...Sam what happened?” you asked, Dean already walking to the bathroom to clean up. Sam didn’t look so great either but at least he’d said hi to you.

“He got his ass kicked. He’s not used to that,” said Sam. “Can you get him to talk? You’re good at that,” he said softly.

“I’ll check you out once I know he’s okay,” you said, giving Sam a smile that told him to rest while you were gone.

“You got it boss,” he said, taking slow steps forward. “I’ll be in my room.”

When you were sure he could make it there on his own, you quickly made your way to the bathroom you and Dean shared. He was struggling to get out of his over shirt, his shoulder looking like it had a nasty gash in it.

“Sit,” you said, dragging a stool over. Dean’s eyes said he could handle it but he wasn’t in the mood to fight and simply did as told. You used a pair of scissors to cut away the shirt, it was ruined anyways. You did the same to Dean’s tee until he was sitting there in just his jeans. “Baby...”

His back was covered in bruises, his chest the same, a few cuts, some large, others small scattered around. His arms were scratched up, his knuckles split open. His cheeks were swollen, cuts around his eyes. He had dried blood in the back of his hair, had dried blood everywhere, hiding even more welts you were sure.

You got him out of his pants, sighing as you saw a deep and jagged cut along his thigh.

“You stay right here and I’ll be right back,” you said, trying to run your hand gently on top of his head, finding another bump there. Dean stayed quiet as you left, telling Sam to start getting himself cleaned up as Dean would take some time.

You’d cleaned up Dean before, just as he’d done for you. But never had he looked defeated, avoided your gaze. You did your best to wash him without causing pain, his sharp inhales of air the only indication that even that small act was tortuous for him. As you focused on the larger wounds first, you wished Cas was around, that he could heal your poor baby. But he wasn’t and Dean was looking to you to take care of him, even if he wasn’t saying it.

It took a long time, longer than you expected, to stitch, clean and bandage everything you could. You would have made some joke that he looked like a mummy if it weren’t so painfully true. Dean changed into loose pajamas as you helped him, carrying most of his weight as you got him into your room and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m going to check on Sam,” you said, dashing out of the room. Thankfully Sam wasn’t as bad as you feared and he was half-asleep by the time you got back to him. “Drink this baby,” you said, handing Dean a glass of water filled with crushed up pain-killers when you made the trip back.

He drank slowly, as if that hurt him too, but were glad when he had the whole glass and then some. But he was still looking at you with sad eyes and you didn’t understand why. From what Sam had said, you’d saved the victims.

“What’s the best way for you to lay down?” you asked, seeing Dean shift to want to lay on his back. You smiled as you helped him, pulling the covers over top so he wouldn’t have to move before you crawled in beside him. You rested a hand on the top of his pillow, only your fingers gracing the top of his head, the motion not appearing to cause any discomfort.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a scratchy voice. 

“For what?” you asked.

“You told me to never come home like this. To not be stupid and don’t get in a fight I have no chance in hell of winning,” he said quietly, tilting his head so he could feel more of you against him.

“You came home, that’s all that matters,” you said, kissing the top of his forehead that had come out unscathed.

“Thanks,” he said, easing some, his breath slowing as the medicine started to kick in.

“Get some rest, Dean, I’ll be here when you wake up,” you said, giving him a soft smile he couldn’t see but instead felt. In a few minutes, he was passed out, the look of pain gone. “I got ya.”

___________

[dimlylittorch]

I would love a sick comfort fic with either Logan or Vander. Whichever u feel more comfortable writing for. I have a killer sore throat rn and it hurts to even eat and drink :(

I just need comfort from a wide man rn tbh

hey honey!! I’m so sorry this took a few days :( I hope you’re feeling better by now, but if you’re not? No worries love, your boyfriends are here to save the day. I did a Logan Howlett and a Vander writing just for you <3 my first ever double feature

Logan:

In my eyes, Logan can be so so clueless sometimes. Sure, he’s been around the block a couple of times- but being soft? Comforting? It’s like asking a cat to bark. Well- to him that’s how it would seem. But the second he starts to notice how you’re slowly growing worse and worse? His protective instincts shift into gear like never before. It was pretty surprising to him to be honest. He never viewed himself as caring- not in this way.

I mean, the man literally was searching through your bathroom and kitchen cabinets looking for something to make you feel better. He was completely clueless in this area- he’s always been a ‘I can deal with it myself’ kind of guy, never taking meds even when others told him to. He did know to make you warm tea with honey in it, to help coat your throat. But it tore him up inside when he saw how you winced with every sip, wishing desperately he could do something to help with the pain.

He would stand around you, hovering, when you were settled comfortably in your bed or on your couch. If you asked him to sit with you, he’d be very ‘Are you sure you don’t need anything else? You know me bub- this is a once in a lifetime offer to make me do whatever you want.’

And of course, you slightly took advantage of that. If you felt all gross from sweating under your blankets? He would gladly help you shower or bathe, knowing how exhausting it can be. If you felt like you needed to puke constantly? He’d find a way to prop your phone up for you in the bathroom, setting down some blankets so you can rest comfortably by the toilet. If you just needed to cry from how bad you felt? It would break his heart seeing your tears, but he would 100% curl up around you in your bed, his hand rubbing your back as he whispered comforting words into your ear.

He would also get anxious whenever you coughed, or if he checked your temperature and it was too high for comfort. In his mind he was fully wondering what he would do if you suddenly fainted, mentally preparing to take you to the nearest hospital. He could be such a drama queen- but we love him for that🤧

Vander:

Now Vander? This man has seen every kind of sickness in the book. He wasn’t a stranger to taking care of people, watching out for others, etc. He would be fully equipped to help out someone sick, and someone as special to him as you? Sweetheart, don’t even worry. You’d be feeling better in no time, even if it’s only mentally.

He absolutely has a medicine cabinet or chest packed with everything anyone could ever need. Things to help with cough, sore throat, nausea- you name it. The second you come and tell him you’re not feeling well he closes The Last Drop for the day, telling everyone to go home so he can get you back to your old self. And of course, everyone obliges- even if a little begrudgingly.

Takes you up to his room immediately, lets you get undressed and gets you all set up comfortably in his bed. The first thing he does is start asking you about your symptoms as he rummages through the medicine he has, humming to himself in thought as he thinks about what all he can give you at one time. He gets you some cold water to help you get any pills down, followed up by some juice to get you some vitamin C.

He would definitely know what you need more than you even knew what you needed. Unable to keep food down? He’s already brought you some bland crackers to munch on. Constant headache? Yep, he’s immediately at your side with a warm cloth, not afraid to sit next to you and rub your temples until the pain meds kick in.

His favorite thing to do for you is have you curled up under his large form, your own personal heater keeping you perfectly cozy. He’s careful not to crush you, but seeing you so safe in his arms makes his heart skip a beat or two. He doesn’t hesitate to wake you up intermittently, ensuring you don’t miss any meds so you wouldn’t wake up from the pain. Always lulls you back to sleep with a murmured story or a weakly sung song, his low voice putting your mind at ease💕

As a chronically ill person who gets colds constantly, I hope you feel better soon! I completely understand the pain. I hope this helped a little :)

p.s. if you ever want to be moots, i’d love to be! you always seem so sweet <3

[butterflydm]

WoT 3x01 Deep Dive (book spoilers)

Any additional thoughts I have that delve into more spoilery territory will go here! Spoilers through A Memory of Light (final book!). Most of my thoughts are in the show-spoilers post; this is just for additional thoughts that needed more of a spoiler warning.

Okay, Sitter & Black Ajah update - of the three Red Sitters, one is definitely Black Ajah (Galina Casban), one is definitely not (Tsutama Rath), and one we don't get the name of (not in the x-ray either). 3x03 tells us that Tsutama is currently the Highest of the Red Ajah and that it used to be Elaida (I'm assuming she stepped down after she had her Foretelling because she decided going to Andor was more important but we may find out otherwise later). Other named Black Ajah Sitters in scene: Ispan (blue), Joiya (Grey), Amico (Yellow), and Alvairin (White, does not reveal herself). There is a second White/Black Ajah Sitter who is killed by Leane, so two White Sitters who were also Black Ajah.

Also Alviarin has a damn good poker face.

We get confirmation of the Heart structure of the Black Ajah in 3x03, so I think Nyomi is just one of the BA that Verin hadn't discovered yet, which is heartbreaking.

So Maksim felt the loss of Ihvon through the bond. Is this a "Green Ajah" thing or is this a special thing that Alanna has done? It feels like foreshadowing for the bond that Rand shares with Elayne, Aviendha, & Min in the books, but even more shared than theirs, even. It makes sense for the show to simply fold Avilayne's first-sister bonding into the big Rand bonding, since Avilyane don't need to go through that same emotional journey together in the show because we've established attraction between them already. So I think we'll get Alanna's forced bonding of Rand and then in a later season get the polycule bond which will tie all of them together the way that Alanna, Maksim, & Ihvon are all tied together (if we get that renewal, fingers crossed!)

I feel like the show is signaling pretty hard that Tear will be our s4 opening plot. And if s4 is also when we kick off Avirandlayne, then we can potentially do some fun romance things with them in Tear, with Elayne giving him political advice and Aviendha teaching him about the Aiel. And if Rand doesn't get a teacher this season at all, then maybe we can still get the feathers that he tries to turn into flowers, and s4 will be our Rand Learns Channeling Properly season.

Okay, so I feel like Verin is who led Lanfear to know where Moiraine and Lan would be (since I also feel like it was Tomas who knocked out Mat at the end of s2 and brought him to Lanfear). And the question of "how did the Gray Man find the kids?" might be "Mat loudly boasting about blowing the Horn of Valere" (which would make him feel even more shitty about himself in this moment).

Moggy creates a Gray Man at the end of 3x01 and sends him to find Nynaeve, which we get the payoff for in 3x03 -- targeting Nynaeve makes sense because the Forsaken already know her location due to their Black Ajah spies, and she's likely seen as more vulnerable due to her block, plus she's the group's main healer, per the information that the Black Ajah would be able to relay to the Forsaken.

We see both Elayne & Mat drinking a lot during this episode and the next - I wonder if Elayne is going to absorb a bit of Birgitte's "drinking buddies with Mat" energy from the books. I guess we will find out in the upcoming Tanchico episodes! Something that we saw in Rand during s1 was him wishing that Egwene & Mat were better friends, so I am very curious to see if we get Mat & Elayne bonding in the second half of the season.

Alviarin has been able to get quite a bit of information that she can use to help bring Siuan down -- she was present in the Hall when the attack happened (so that's not something Galina can help Elaida with) and she's here when she sees that Siuan is not able to exert any control over Egwene, who gets the Accepted ring and then immediately leaves the Tower. And because she was one of the Sitters in the Hall when the four members of the Black Ajah unmasked, Siuan also now has a level of trust with her that Siuan doesn't have towards any of the non-Sitter Sisters.

Elayne being the person who negotiates the relationship between Aviendha and Rand here feels like another nod to their future relationship -- we see her use similar tactics with both Aviendha and Rand in their respective scenes together. She tries to get them to see each other's point of view and uses physical touch to get them to really focus in on her and her point.

I will also go more in depth into the relationships here because it is pretty spoilery to talk about it too much in the show-only part of the post. They do a lot to put into place the building blocks for Rand and Elayne's future relationship, and for how Elayne will work as a balance between Rand and Aviendha (I think we also get some setup when Alanna talks in 3x02 about how Ihvon was the one who balanced herself and Maksim as the calm one to their more impulsive & heated parts of the throuple). Elayne can see Aviendha and Rand's similarities and see how that's making them bounce off each other and make their misunderstanding worse, and she actively works to try to get both of them more willing to bridge that gap.

We also have Rand blatantly wanting more of Elayne's company, even if there's no direct romance in it yet. He asks her if he's sure that he can't talk her into coming along with them and gives her a pretty wide and sincere smile, and, of course, he takes her advice!

And we see at the end of the episode that Aviendha is beginning her own slow process of re-thinking Rand when she sees him push back against Moiraine and instead decide to follow the path to what the Aiel want from him. Both Aviendha and Rand respond really well to Elayne's advice and suggestions, and she delivers that advice in way that is much better calculated to actually reach them (especially Rand) than either Moiraine or Lanfear do. The show made a very clear point of making it be Elayne who helps influence Rand's future path, not Moiraine or Lanfear.

"There is no homecoming for you. Not now, not ever."

I notice that the show is maintaining that Rand's true desire is home (which was really emphasized in the s1 finale as well). If we do get a chance to get all the way to the end, I don't think Rafe is gonna end on deadbeat!dad Rand. I think they'll show that Rand intends to go be an active father to his kids and an active partner to his lovers, because they've shown over and over that a quiet life with the ones that he loves is his heart's deepest desire (contrary to what Lanfear believes about him).

Elayne drinking it up with the boys here before she heads up to flirt and hook up with Aviendha... yeah, I am feeling a bit of Birgitte in the house tonight. Will we get more drinking buddies Matlayne in the back half of the season, I ask again? I do like that the show is layering in Elayne spending a bit of time bonding with Mat & Perrin as friends before she goes up to hang out with Aviendha. Very Spice Girls - "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."

I do still feel like Elayne's "finally" is way more directed towards Avilayne book fans than it is towards Aviendha herself, lol.

Elayne being the person who healed Rand's dagger wound is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to narrative implications -- Elayne was able to heal Rand enough that he could fight against Ishamael, while Egwene's touch is hurting Rand, despite neither of them wanting it to hurt (which is an echo of Rand and Egwene both worrying that the time will come when Rand hurts her unintentionally).

I am really curious how the show is going to take Egwene from being so incredibly determined to stick things out with Rand and protect him no matter what to breaking up with him. The indicators in the show imply that Avirandlayne is definitely in the cards, at the very least (indicators are weaker on Min at this point), which means that Randgwene do need to actually break up at some point. My own hopes are currently for a breakup in 3x05 so that they have some time to move on from their relationship on screen rather than it being relegated to a time-skip between seasons, but we'll see.

The creation of Jaichaim the Gray Man continues our trend of slowly whittling away at all things Ebou Dar, which I have been watching in fascination and not some small measure of hope. Let's count down the Ebou Dari things that have been taken away:

Renna: killed by Egwene

Seta: killed by a stray arrow

Suroth: blew up by Moiraine

Aviendha teaches Elayne about Aiel culture: learned it on the boat trip

Jaichaim the Darkfriend Whitecloak: turned into a Gray Man and killed

Intriguing! I will keep my eye on further developments.