#but earlier today ur girl was dealing with reality stuff

[connorsui]

Yall ight see me lose my absolute mind for the rest of the day cuz did I go back to find that thing?? ...yes ...imma gonna waste my life looking for it?? ...yes ...it's a mission ...a girly mission ✨️🩷🎀💅🏻 ..a mission that requires for the country (my head) to be saved from✨️ insanity ✨️

I might need somebody to hold me in place cuz I cannot function

[webslingingslasher]

“hey, i might not wait til marriage but you are and that's fucking cool”🥹🥹🥹 this is so cute and made me feel so good AHHH <3

okay I need to SPILL.

first I wanna say i know this isn’t a big deal and when I eventually talk to him about it, he’ll be reassuring but I’m freaking out first and i wanna talk to the girlies first instead, but I do feel like I can tell him (bc if u can’t talk ab these things w someone, you shouldn’t have sex w them in the first place)

but bro I am FREAKING out HDNDNDND. we’ve been looking at rings. he hasn’t proposed because he said he still wants me to be surprised and stuff but we got carried away talking one night and he let it slip that he wants to marry me and somehow we started looking at rings. we went to a couple shops just to get general ideas bc I have no idea what I want!!

ANYWAYS. I was super excited and I had a full blown freak out earlier😀 I’ve been waiting til marriage my whole life (I’m 23) but he hasn’t, he had multiple sexual partners in high school and college and a couple before he met me. I was just thinking ab our future wedding night bc it’s getting super real now and I don’t think it’ll be that far in the future and I was like omfg. this whole wait and it’ll be over in one night. like “that’s so exciting, FINALLY” type thing bc the wait has been hard😭 I’m just a girl and he’s soodkdjdkskskksskso sexy😭

and then I was like…. It’s all over in one night

and I was like, wait. I’m a virgin virgin. he isn’t. even just fingering/head (which I literally cannot WAIT for😭) is gonna be new bc I’ve never had another guys fingers in me and whatever. and I’m not nervous at all, I’m so excited, I’ve waited so long as u can imagine JDJDKDK but I was like realistically, it’ll probably be overwhelming. and then ur meant to do everything in one go? even in most ‘normal’ relationships where people aren’t waiting till marriage, you don’t usually go from 0-100 in a single night😭 that’s kinda insane. like ‘oh you’ve only kissed a boy? well here is literally everything under the sun!”

and I think I just realised today, for the first time, that maybe that wont realistically be what I want. like doing some things and then the rest after. like we’re gonna be married forever (that’s the plan😭) so we have all this time to go it yk. not that I’d necessarily wanna wait super long after we’re married, but I just feel kinda… bad. like, he’s waited this whole time, just for me. imagine we get married and he’s super excited to finally get to hit and in like “actually……..🤣”

idk. I just feel a little alone because even the religious/non-religious ppl I know (who decided to wait just because), none of them felt this way. they were so ready to just jump in and start boning (as they should bc the wait hasn’t been easy😭) but idk I feel… idk. I feel like that might not be me, like I feel like I might need a little more time just to get used to like, everything in reality yk. bc it’s all fun and games saying it rn but I realised earlier, when I started really thinking about it, that I haven’t done anything and realistically, even ppl that don’t wsit need more time yk.

he obviously won’t make me feel bad for this either, he’s not a monster & he’s very understanding but I’m just spiralling.

this might not even be a problem, realistically the second we’re married I might not even make it to the after party and just be like “dick in me now pls” but… ifkdjdjddjdjw

I’m thinking too much lol. I’ve waited 23 years and it’s so real now that my mind is spinning. I’m sorry for the ramble but thank u for listening & for the girlie talk JDJDJDX💗💗💗💗💗💗 i love u so much

(I am sooo ready to get married tho😭💗)

i am so happy for you both!!! i really wish you the best of luck!

i think him being experianced will help out so much in the long run, but girl, there's nothing to worry about! if he's waited this long, what's a little more? like you said, you may change your mind but you said you wanted to wait until marriage. so i'm with you, why does it have to be your wedding night?

it sounds like he's going at your pace and he's in no rush to bed you either. you already know you're gonna talk to him about this so kudos! and coming from me, it sounds like you're ready for sex and that's awesome.

you're excited and that's the most important. (after loving and trusting your man.) trust me, it'll be worth the wait and i can't wait to hear about the proposal!

[cnc-hoebayb]

Just hug me u dummy

For if ur feeling sad or down or rly need a hug :,)

Also ib this story today bc his smile literally makes my world a million times brighter tf

.

The clock on your phone passed yet another agonizing minute, the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind eating at you for what felt like years. You had an hour left. A whole hour. Tears started to well up in your eyes as you felt like you could definitely not handle that much more time here.

You were tired, started running a little fever around noon, hungry, and god were you so bored and lonely right now. Your classmates around you started packing their bags early, making the anxiety of having to wait still even worse. You couldn’t afford to leave early today, you needed the notes and extra class time after the days you missed the last couple weeks.

Your friends say goodbye as they rush out the classroom, leaving you and only 3 other kids in the room. Everyone doing their own thing, finishing essays, copying notes, completing unfinished tests. You sit and build up the motivation to finally start reading your textbook. Nothing happens.

The headache that had been lingering on started to pound now. You take a deep breath and try to get it together. Your phone buzzes on the corner of your table and your anticipation gets the best of you, reaching out frantically to see who the message was from. The notification appears across the screen and your heart drops even lower than before.

Chris was busy today, you knew that. And you were supposed to be busy as well, working hard on all the makeup work you needed so desperately to be done with in the next hour.

It was just the day, you thought. The stress, sickness, hunger, and the loneliness you felt and having to deal with it all by yourself. You just wanted him to make it better. But you were both functional adults and this was life, you couldn’t get exactly what you wanted all the time, and it really sucked to have to do it alone sometimes.

You set the phone back down and close your eyes a second, focusing yourself into work mode. You brushed away a singular sad little tear and opened the book back up. It was time to get serious.

The hour flew by after that like nothing. Your ability to zone out and zoom through your work actually kinda surprised you. But it was done, and you could finally get home and into bed with some good food.

As you exit the classroom, you pick up the phone to call Chris and let him know you’re on the way home and to see how his day was going. It gets through one ring and then nothing. Declined call. You pout instinctively and try again- maybe his service was out of wack.

This time it rings past the first little bell, makes it a couple times before it finally hangs up again. Why would he hang up on you? Twice ??

Your sensitivity through the day just piles up and as you plop down in the seat of your car you let it all out. A flood of tears stream down your face and it keeps on going. You gather the strength to put the car in gear and drive yourself home.

As you pull around the corner you notice Chris’ car in the driveway, but don’t even regard it while you park and lug your stuff in. You didn’t have the energy for interaction anymore, as sad as it sounded, your body was heavy and wanted nothing but rest.

You hear the faint noise of muffled music as you approach the door, usually the sign of Chris in an upbeat mood. Which made you a little nervous of the rowdiness you were about to step into.

The door swings open and there he is, at the kitchen counter pouring a full glass of chocolate milk- your drink he knows will always cheer you up. And a table set with your favorite take out restaurant, all plated and ready for you. His pretty eyes dart up to you and his cute side smile makes your heart melt.

“Amor..” his smile fades a little and there’s concern as he observes the state you’re in. Stained mascara cheeks and a red puffy nose, hair messy from the ponytail you attempted in the car. Everything he could see on you told him exactly the kind of day you just had.

“Whats wrong?” He says finally and you burst back into tears, letting all your belongings drop to the floor, hands covering your face to hide your embarrassment. He rushes over and tries to hear you out.

“I forgot my luNch, and i had 3 missing assignments to finish, and the stupid teacher lost my last essay in her spam emails, and i missed you so much and you didn’t answer-“ you sob out in choked up words, trying to put yourself together but completely failing.

He reaches in to wipe your tears away with his thumbs, his hands caressing the sides of your face. He taps you so you can look up into his eyes. He smiles again and the tears have no choice but to stop.

“Hey,” he kisses away the tears on one of your cheeks and talks calmly. “Lo siento, amor, i was driving home from work i didn’t know you’d be so upset i didn’t answer the phone.”

You feel a little guilty and Wanna cry again. “I know you were busy I’m sorry.” You start with a shaky voice. Chris notices and soothes you back to yourself. “Nonono It’s ok, you just had a rough day, i understand.” His teeth peek through his little smile and he pulls you into his arms firmly- finally.

“Cmere,” his chest is warm and comforting. All the issues and sadness of the day rush completely out of your mind, the weight on your shoulders collapses and it’s nothing but the feeling of being in his arms. You work up a smile as he scratches the back of your head and rocks you side to side slowly with him.

“Aye princesa, you need sleep you’re burning up,” he feels your forehead like a concerned parent and squeezes you tighter.

“Sleep sounds nice,” you mumble, actually dozing off a bit in his grips before he pulls away and grabs your hand in his.

He leans in once more, kissing the top of your head and looking right into your teary, sleepy eyes. You look up into his and it feels like all your problems from earlier are pointless. Because how can anybody be sad when something as perfect as the boy in front of you exists.

His adorable, dorky little face lights up your freaking world and that’s all that can ever matter.

“Cmon sleepy girl, let’s go eat,” he interrupts your thoughts and you snap back into reality. Reality where he’s here, youre here, and everything’s going to be ok. You look one more time into his eyes to reassure it. They sparkle back with promise, a little wink following behind. Yeah, it’s going to be just perfect.