#but due to his trauma he feels like he's been robbed of everything and he doesn't know how to express it how to deal how to cope

[transgendermilesprower]

as excited as i am for sonic prime s3, i'm also so worried, (also it is 12 am so excuse me if this is rambly and doesn't make much sense) i hope they do nine right i dunno how to explain it well, it's just he's a victim of circumstance, a heavily traumatised and abused kid who acted out, acted out because of his survival instincts.

i don't want him to be just thrown into the villain category and left there for good, i need him to reflect, i need some sort of redemption

i want this kid to get therapy i want him to at least learn that while yes the actions of those who hurt him we're bad, it doesn't mean he can hurt others... i want him to relearn friendship after 'betraying' sonic

i love nine, i really can't think of how to explain my thoughts with my 12 am brain.

nine is a trauma survivor, a kid who lived exclusively on ways to avoid getting hurt more than he already has been. he's a kid who wants friends like everyone else, who wants to be loved like everyone else. who doesn't know how to have friends, who doesn't believe he can have friends. he needs that second chance, he deserves to experience the love he never got growing up. he deserves the chance to learn, grow, change.

alright i'll shut up for now, i just love my emo son so much

[finniestoncrane]

Hello Finnie...

Curious...how do you think the rougues would talk to someone who is facing having to move back in with their parents at age 30 due to financial/personal reasons after years of living independently and their self esteem is taking a mahoosive hit 🙃🙃🙃

(I know it's becoming increasingly common nowadays due to cost of living but still...😣)

Asking for a friend...👀

Rogues Headcanons aw anon i feel you, there's nothing like a perceived setback to knock your self-confidence HOWEVER i think you're just being a little harsh on yourself, since you know that it's super common!! but you still deserve comfort and encouragement, and i apologise for how completely sappy i was with this lol 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: fluff, and sickeningly sweet sentiments i hope!!

two face

i think every rogue can say they've suffered setbacks, but none like harvey

by all accounts he was living the perfect life, doing exactly what he wanted to

and then everything kind of crumbled, and he lost it all

but he built himself back up (albeit... maybe on the wrong side of morality depending on the coin flip)

so he considers himself a figure of encouragement to you!!

and he's also gruffly reminding you that self-esteem can be rebuilt

little by little, piece by piece

whether you feel like you're moving "back" or not

you can start fresh and new

scarecrow

his suggestion is a little less than helpful

mostly because his solution to his own financial issues were to... rob people while wearing a costume

and if you want to go down that route he is MORE than happy to help

but if you want to be sensible about it, he can offer support

someone to listen to you while you talk it all out

and he promises he won't psychoanalyse you too much

or talk in his therapist voice

but if after all that you're still lost, he has extra straw and fabric

poison ivy

is your parent's home like a garden? is it nurturing and safe, with a balanced ph level? do you feel comfortable and familiar?

is your parent's home like an unattended back patio made of slabs? cracks with grass? minimal space to thrive?

either way, plants will grow and plants will live

nature pushes on!! and little flowers take pride in pushing their heads up, their stems stretched

to see everything that's good beyond the things that seem so close and current

and with a little help from her, anyone can grow and become their best self, even if they've been uprooted

mad hatter

nothing in this world is perfect, and nothing goes according to plan

trust him, he knows that. he has experience in that. plenty of it

but you have to believe that it's an integral part to your story

what good would alice in wonderland have been if there had been no conflict

if she hadn't been forced to learn about herself, to undergo traumas and difficulties

all in order to get home, which she did

and you will too! he knows you have a happy ending waiting, your own wonderland to get to as a reward

bane

he's never really known a home, so to him it's actually a nice idea

you've got a backup, a safety net

and yeah, you might never have wanted to use it

but it's never a bad thing to know there's another option

and it takes strength to ask for help, and even more to accept it

and while he's pretty sure he's strong enough physically to do most things

even he has to admire the emotional strength it takes to do what you're doing

so he's giving you a pat on the back and reminding you that things could always be worse

(and that pat on the back might cause bruising)

penguin

what do you need? you need money? you need a place to stay?

he'd be offering it all up to you immediately

what good is money if he can't throw it at his favourite people

keeps them under his thumb, yknow? if they own him one

so yeah it might be a favour he'll call you out on eventually

but rest assured he's not thinking of anything else but "how can i help" and "what do you need/want"

far before he'd make any judgements

it's hard to get where you want in life, he knows that very well

zsasz

have you thought about straight up just murdering everyone?

he's kiding, he's kidding!!

besides, that's his thing. don't steal his thing, or you'll end up as a little tally mark on his skin

HOWEVER his advice would be to find something to focus on that takes your mind off of the perceived negatives

it doesn't have to be wiping out humanity in a nihilistic rampage

it can be anything!! and saving some money on rent and having the comfort of home might be all you need to find something new to become skilled at

just as long as it's not murder!!

mr freeze

it might feel like you're losing something, but there's always something to be gained too

and you never really lose what you had, because it lives on in memories and hopes

it stays with you in your plans for the future, in your dreams of what you want when you get back on your feet

or in his case, frozen in time in a glass tube

not lost, just temporarily out of reach

but he's a vehement believer in perseverance and never losing hope!!

you'll both have what you want soon enough, whether that's something new or gaining what you had

riddler

i won't lie i think he's the most likely to turn his nose up at you

like what do you mean there were unforeseen events that you weren't prepared for?

you didn't have 1588729 backup plans, one of which was for that exact chain of events!?

foolish of you really, though he will concede that not everyone has the brain power to strategise like that

in fact, it really is only him who can... so maybe he should lay off

and offer you some comfort instead, since the thought of having to move in with his parents...

well, it literally terrifies him

harley quinn

listen, she's no stranger to "set backs" in your plans

she's had everything taken from her!!

freedom, lovers, career plans (both respectable and criminal)

but she bounces back! and not just because she's a gymnast

(and also deeply out of touch with the trauma it all caused her)

but she manages it because she believes it'll all get better

and it'll all work out

and she believes that for you too!!

[yeyinde]

Question about Straw House, Straw Dog Johnny! OK so he obviously has some brain trauma due to taking a bullet to the head and all, and we can see him shifting between thoughts and emotions in a way one can describe as volatile, but I've been dying to know... Does Johnny have moments of clarity, moments where who he was before being shot break through? If so, how lucid is he? Is he able to take stock of his surroundings, does he know he's got a captive in his bed? Does he wonder about his team mates, until his mind splinters and he returns to being a shell of a man in the woods?

sorry this took me so long to answer!! it got super long so i had to find ways to cut it down, but since i couldn't write this in Johnny's pov, i rambled. a lot.

but—to answer your question: yes and no lmao

i don't think he's fully gone. definitely delusional, grasping at nothing, and struggling to adjust to this civilian world where no one needs him. not even his teammates.

but he's cognisant, and in many ways, he's still Johnny. still Soap. but he is a victim of circumstances. he has untreated TBI (which outside of physical recovery does need therapy as well, especially to offset the emotional trauma that underlines it all), and he decided to pick one of the loneliest places in Canada to hide out in. maybe not the loneliest, but there's definitely a sense of disconnect when you move outside of the big cluster of cities near the border to the US, and nowhere else captures that primordial, almost cosmic sense of crushing aloneness quite like NWT (for me, at least lmao)

it's the social isolation, the feeling of worthlessness (because i do see him as someone who'd never retire from this, ever), and the loss of agency and familiarity that really send him spiralling. he's grasping at straws and sinking deeper into his terrible mental state. listless, in a way. and very, very angry. everything was ripped away from him in seconds and now he's stuck inside a cabin with nothing but his thoughts for company. and while we don't really know how he came to be squirreled away in NWT (specifically a patch of unorganised land outside of Wrigley), we know that it was not choice.

he still thinks of his teammates, remembers (vividly) everything that happened, but had no choice but to leave. there's a lot of resentment, though. he feels robbed. broken. useless. feels like he should be there with them when they hunt down Makarov, rather than sidelined like he has been. it festers. builds.

but then you come along.

a task, a mission. someone he can save. and even if he were fully cognisant, woke up perfectly fine one day, he'd still find ways to rationalise it. he does not, nor will he ever, see you as a captive. he did you a favour. he saved you. by any means necessary. even if those means are morally reprehensible and outright illegal. Soap is patting himself on the back for doing what needed to be done, and nothing anyone says will change his mind.

and if he was ever caught, he'll pretend to feel some sense of remorse for his actions. let people lead the discussion of how tragic what happened is and how truly sorry he is for the pain caused, but the entire time, he's plotting on how to get his family back. you're his. he found you. he'll never feel guilt over what he sees as a good deed. but i think he can be convinced to feel remorse over sneaking into your bed.

[masterthespianduchovny]

KRATOS x FREYA DISSERTATION:

Whether or not it actually becomes canon, I can see Freya and Kratos ending up together.

Although I’m agreement with the noromos who believe that men and women can be friends, I do believe romance is a plausible path for Kratos and Freya despite him killing her son, their own traumas, and grief.

One of Kratos’ most defining character traits is that he doesn’t trust gods. Even in GoW (2018), he stresses to Atreus not to trust gods, which later included Freya. He’s angry because she omitted her true identity, which circumvented him avoiding her altogether thus establishing the beginning of a friendship and trust of sorts with her. And this is important on many levels:

1. Freya was at an advantage and Kratos was at massive disadvantage.

2. He got to know her to an extent without any presumption on her character and intent.

3. She got to know him to an extent without his guard up.

4. His instincts (and Atreus) opened himself up to trusting her.

We see that Kratos typically has a good read on situations and people, esp gods. So when Freya omitted the truth, he was put in the situation to trust a god again, which angered him. It wasn’t a true deception, but the principle of the matter. This key moment in the relationship actually sets up so much between them because, despite Freya not being forthcoming about her identity, she did nothing wrong and Kratos was the one in wrong. This later prompts Kratos to reflect on his behavior when Freya helps saves Atreus’ life even though she didn’t have to. When he apologizes, she says this,

“No. You were right to distrust the word of a god. No need to explain. Not to me. Not for that.”

At this point in time, Kratos knew that she spoke from experience. She wasn’t blowing smoke up his ass or trying to make him feel better. She got his distrust on a visceral level because she went through SEVERAL betrayals of her own at the hands of a god who was her husband at that!

Even though he’s heard stories about Freya’s marriage to Odin and the events leading up to it, why she agreed to it, and why she stayed, hearing her wave off his apology and understanding the context made him see her in a new light. She wasn’t making him apologize for something that evolved into a survival technique because she learned all too well herself. He hears the sadness and melancholy in her voice—the pain that sticks with her.

Throughout the story, Freya helped him without asking anything in return. Her assistance and friendship was genuine. But the one thing she did ask, Kratos didn’t honor.

This is all important because moments prior to Baldur and Freya’s reunion, he and Atreus weren’t even sure they could trust her. Then, when Kratos saw their interaction: Baldur’s eagerness to harm Freya and her willingness to accept said harm even if it meant death. He kept trying to mind his business, but ultimately deduced that Freya didn’t deserve that fate.

In a sense, he’d been in her position before. He understood what it was like to make decisions you can’t undo. To hate and punish yourself. To want to protect your child at all cost, but at what cost? Hasn’t she suffered enough? Why did this have to end in her death, esp when Odin was responsible for most of her suffering. Baldur was the only bright spot for her in a toxic and abusive marriage—her judgment was clouded due to all her pain, suffering, and losses.

Because Odin stripped her of almost everything minus life…piece by piece. She can’t leave home—bound to Midgard. She literally can’t defend herself, despite being a skilled warrior, which she prided herself on. Despite her circumstance, then and now, according to Mimir’s stories—some of which he experienced himself—she was a largely good and kind person and god. Unlike, the gods in Greece and even her former husband. Only to be robbed of her agency and safety.

Even though in the beginning of the friendship, Freya is the one with the upper hand, by the end of it, Kratos is the one with the upper hand. Freya knew he was a god, but she didn’t know his backstory. Kratos knew all about her in a sense, which is why he’s able to be compassionate and understand that she’s punishing herself for more than Baldur’s fate.

Despite only knowing her for a short time, from the moment he decides she doesn’t deserve to die and was dealt a shit hand during her marriage and made a tragic decision that led to “losing” her son, he basically vows to never allow harm to come to her. He considers her his friend even though she hates him after he killed her child. Even though she has vowed and tried on many occasions to murder him, he refuses to see her anything but as a friend who is experiencing extreme guilt and grief.

Interestingly enough, we see Freya’s perspective shift even before she finds out about Calliope. Kratos saves her life from Atreus and says, “she was our friend.” Freya was determined to see Kratos as this evil, selfish guy and, even in that moment, she sees the gentler, compassionate side of him. It frustrates and upsets her, but she changes course because it’s all too much for her at that moment. She also knows that while her present misery is due to Kratos’ actions, he’s not the true reason behind her misery and unhappiness.

In addition to finding out about Calliope and the circumstances leading up to her (and her mother’s) death’s, she’s also being worn down by Kratos and his reason. This is a man who’s traveled down the road she is on. He’s been there. And the thing that she’s promising herself will bring her peace so to speak, she know isn’t true. The more Kratos refuses to let it go, the angrier she gets. She’s largely had no control over her life for just about a century and the one thing she does have control over (thinking she could kill kratos) is something she deep down knows won’t settle her spirit. Once she actually gets her freedom with the assistance of Kratos, it’s then she admits to herself that she can’t kill him, despite her urge to. And she can’t forgive him because he took away her child—he took away her choice: her life so that Baldur could live.

In the journey, something else is established OR, to be exact, it’s re-established: their trust in one another.

Not only has Freya notice Kratos’ consistency in being honest with her and respecting her decisions, he’s a man of his word. He also allows himself to be vulnerable with and around her. That’s not the same Kratos she met years prior or the one who was angry after he found out that she omitted her godhood to him. Despite the things she’s said and what she’s tried to do on many occasions, he’s always respected her and never treated her with anything less than that. He is not Odin. The things her ex husband punished her for and exploited are things Kratos’ values about her and still sees her as even when she was on her worst behavior.

Admittedly, people can still be friends with someone (again) who wronged them. However, I find it difficult to believe that Freya can be friends with Kratos again even though he caused her immense grief if she hasn’t fully forgiven him. Grief that led her to trying to murder him on many occasions and directly put his child in danger who she very well knows Kratos doesn’t fuck around about.

If Kratos can not only forgive her for that, but not hold it against her, why can’t she eventually forgive him for killing Baldur esp when it was to save her life?

I’d argue we see that after Freya is no longer bound to Midgard. Throughout their journey, we see that she is largely by his side even when she doesn’t have to be. She telling him personal things and being vulnerable with him. I believe she still has ire reserved for Mimir that she doesn’t for Kratos. She genuinely wants him to fight alongside her against Odin and not just because he’s a great warrior and the god of war, but because she trusts him as well. Then asks him to be the general of the army going into war. After the win, she agrees to rebuild the kingdom(s) with him. I find it hard to believe she hasn’t forgiven him for Baldur when she voluntarily spends most of her time with him and is making massive major plans with him. The fact that Kratos even asked her says a lot and she didn’t hesitate in her answer.

Now, there are those who say it’s too soon for Kratos to get back into a relationship or he wouldn’t, which I disagree with. It’s been 3+ years since Faye passed. Although he’s still grieving her, that doesn’t mean he can’t enter into a new relationship. You don’t stop grieving a loved one or spouse just because you’re dating again. Grief sticks with you and it’s ongoing. After the passing of his first wife, I don’t think he actively dated or sought out women romantically. Keep in mind, Faye flat out said they fought when they first met, I believe. It took them time to get where they were. I don’t think Kratos even entertained dating her until some (significant) time passed, which she may have facilitated him properly asking her out or straight up marriage—whatever it is they did in those days. So the idea that that’s not an option for him and Freya doesn’t pass the sniff test imo.

I don’t believe either Freya or Kratos will suddenly develop romantic feelings or even get together right away, but a final, gradual shift in their relationship happens. When they realize this, it’s something they fully embrace, but step carefully into.

It would likely be due to familiarity and spending so much time together. Again, they will be rebuilding a kingdom or kingdoms together. He likely will help her around her place and with her different concoctions. She’d likely cook for him even though he can cook for himself and openly admit to enjoy sending time with him. Eventually, they’d be spending most of their time together, which is how they’d prefer it. You know Mimir’s nosey ass would most likely say something to Kratos, but not too much because he wouldn’t want to incur Freya’s wrath.

I can see them having though hard conversations about their children and forgiving themselves for their roles in said children’s demise as much as they can. I can see them fully forgiving each other for the transgression committed against one another because…look at all they’ve been through together. Not only did they fight side by side during Ragnarok, he kept his promise to her about never taking her decision away from her again.

These are two people who get each other in a way that no one else does.

We get the callback after Freya’s no longer bound to Midgard—Kratos doesn’t entertain Freya apologizing about “everything that happened between us” and says, “No need to explain. Not to me. Not for that.”

Like, come on!

There is this gentleness and vulnerability they express to me another that doesn’t exist with anyone else outside of their kids.

As Dana Scully once said, “the best relationships are often rooted in friendships.”

Freya was experiencing so many feelings at once and even though it’ll always hurt to lose Baldur, she’ll realize that she’s forgiven Kratos. He was put in an impossible situation and made the best choice born of compassion.

In time Freya would come to see, that not only is Kratos everything Odin wasn’t, he meets her needs in a way that she never realized. That he’s forgiving and kind and supportive and her rock. Could she get that from someone else? Sure. Could she get that from someone who gets her in a way that Kratos gets her, which is what allowed her to be vulnerable around him more than she was around others, most likely no.

But also, Freya is Kratos’ type: Fierce, tough, compassionate, bold, independent, nurturing (as in caring for others), etc. She is honest, direct, and says how she feels. He doesn’t need someone who sees him as a clean slate, he needs someone who knows him and embraces that part of him because it’s him. Two people who carried immense pain found one another and, inadvertently, helped each other heal and grow.

They have these commonalities in spades.

That in and of itself doesn’t mean they should be together, however, imo, tension has always existed between them even before Kratos found out she was a god. It’s been this undercurrent for the entirety of them knowing one another. It wasn’t sexual, but it wasn’t platonic either, however, I believe it’ll manifest into romance—this is, of course, apart from the driving tension at the end of the first game and into the beginning of the second game.

“Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it.” -Faye

You have a man/god that is first introduced to us as throwing himself off a cliff because he can no longer live with his nightmares. A man/god who later tries to take his own life on another occasion or two after surviving his first ordeal. Who tells his second wife that he doesn’t want to live in a world without her and later prepares his son to live in the world without him because he believes he’s going to die. Only for him to look forward to rebuilding society with Freya, the person he’s opened his heart up to the most since this new journey began. Freya is almost always treated as a partner and an equal.

Kratos allowed Freya and Atreus to get close, despite his protectiveness of him. Noticeably, they have a mother-son-esque dynamic by the end of the game. We have seen Atreus befriend adults and it’s treated as a friendship. Despite initially referring to her as a friend in the beginning, but the end she definitely serves as a mother like figure, which is in no way an insult to Faye nor is she replacing her. Atreus literally tells Mimir he’s a second father. So this shows us there’s nothing wrong with having multiple parental figures, living or dead. Typically when a piece of media is setting up a woman as a mother like figure to a child, romance is brewing on the horizon.

Lastly, in both games, Freya is deeply tied to the main narratives and is involved in the final battles in some way. In the first game, she’s one of the first people we meet and a selfless companion. In the second game, we meet her first and she’s an enemy. In the end of the first game, she’s become his enemy. By the end of the second game, she’s his partner and ally in rebuilding the kingdom. While the games focused on the things they have in common, their connection, and vulnerability with one another, I’d argue it doesn’t stress the friendship angle. They are friends, but the way these two are compared and contrasted and positioned against one another, it feels like a romantic relationship is possible being set up.

I also find her line to Kratos about having another child if she had the opportunity to have one again interesting. Although I don’t think she’s hinting anything to him, why she is telling the man who killed her child, casually, that she wants another child? Why not her brother or the shapeshifter or Sigrun?

[whumpbug]

Night, armor, road and canvas for Gene and Cassidy?

HI ANON! i've been hoping someone would ask night, i love talking about Sleepy characters. ONTO THE POST!

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night: what does your oc wear to sleep?

gene:

gene is a simple man. whenever the weather permits, he sleeps in nothing but his underwear. he has been doing this since he was a child and even he doesn't know why. he just likes the feeling of being Free. its kind of ridiculous to think about though, because he's this big bad deputy that sleeps practically naked.

when it's too cold, he wears a typical union suit though he hates it. he just hates sleeping and feeling Constrained

cassidy:

he usually just sleeps in his day clothes if i'm being totally honest. he grew up moving from place to place with montana mostly, so he didn't have the oppurtunity to get too settled or comfortable . he slept when he could where he could, comfort was an afterthought

when he knows he'll be staying in a place for a little longer, his pajamas usually consist of a union suit or, if he's feeling really fancy, a nightshirt and linen pants!

armor: what kind of armor does your oc wear?

neither of them really wear armor only because it wasn't a common practice for people in the old west-- there really wasn't a need to. the closest thing i think they have to armor is the various sun protection they had!

gene wears a hat whenever he's riding in the sun and almost always wears long sleeves to prevent sunburns. he still somehow gets them.

cassidy almost always has a bandana around his neck (or face when hes robbing places) and, of course, his pinch-front hat.

wear spf folks!

road: what does your oc wear while traveling?

gene:

when gene does travel, he usually has very little time to prepare because its most likely due to some chase or unfortunate circumstances. HOWEVER when he is able to plan it, it depends on how he's traveling

on a train, he wears comfortable clothes and usually has his luggage right next to him, pretty normal. but whenever he's on a train he ALWAYS has his revolver on him. always. train trauma and all that. he gets away with it because he's the deputy

if he's traveling in the wilderness, he goes back to his Farm Boy roots and wears worn working jeans and a button down with a jacket he can layer if he really needs to

cassidy:

his entire life is just traveling so he's learned to pretty much pack everything he owns into satchels and saddle bags at the drop of a hat.

the supplies he lugs everywhere are his satchel that has some clothes, provisions, weapons etc, and his bedroll incase he needs to sleep quickly somewhere. he takes care of his supplies very well because. well. it's not exactly ideal to have a tent break in the middle of a rainstorm or have your gun jam while in a shootout. he takes care of his stuff so he can have them functional incase of an emergency or Situation

canvas: does your oc have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings?

(mostly going to focus on scars because piercings and tattoos didn't really exist back then)

gene:

gene doesn't really have any significant scars except for the one on his wrist i mentioned in a previous post and some other miscellaneous scars from his childhood.

he has one on his eyebrow from when he started learning to ride horses at age 10. the first horse he ever rode was his father's stallion called Ol' Mac and this horse was NOTORIOUSLY ill-tempered but clint figured if gene could ride Ol' Mac, he could ride any horse. unfortunately, there was still a learning curve and gene was aggresively bucked off and scraped his brow on a jagged fence post

he also has a few bullet-graze wounds. not necessarily bullet wounds but where the bullet just grazed his arm or leg.

cassidy:

oh boy. this man is a mosaic of scars. fic coming soon (possibly).

cw: mentions of child abuse and also being tortured/held hostage

i'm gonna go over some of his main ones but know that there are many from just. the amount of Situations this guy has gone through.

his most noticable and prominent scar is the one on his mouth. this was given to him by montana during a particularly harsh fight-- it was one the very few times montana pulled an actual weapon on him.

he also has several long, jagged scars across his back (i didn't know how to draw them when i drew that picture of him and gene </3) and those are from when he was captured by o'malley's boys, the rival gang to montana's. they wanted information, and, well, figured a good way to go about that was whipping the kid. even montana's heart broke a little when they found him. he slept on his stomach for weeks after that.

he also has a pretty nasty bullet wound scar in his left thigh from a shootout. that one was more recent, about 2 years ago and the thing still hurts him sometimes.

those are some of the most prominent ones! but remember, he has em all over. his body tells a STORY. and he hates almost all of his scars too tbh. he thinks they're ugly and are reminders of his weakness. (shhh that will be resolved soon.)

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THANK U FOR THE QUESTIONS ANON! i hope you enjoy the answers!!

[bylertruther]

not to be dark by acknowledging the material, but it really is so crazy how involved and all-encompassing the henry-will rape plots are. not only did he give him unimaginable trauma by hunting him in the upside down, but he also violated him in, like... every possible way? and violently so?

physically at the library (tentacle slug thing down his throat), via forced impregnation (throwing up baby demoslugs from the aforementioned), again on the field (possession via particles), and via the goosebumps that result from their psychic connection. will says that it came for him and that he tried to make it go away, but it got him. when asked what that means, he breaks down in sobs and says only that he felt it everywhere--everywhere--and that he still feels it, and he just wants it to be over. he can't explain the experience that completely and utterly terrifies him. he tries, but he just breaks down again until they urge him to express himself through his art.

his body is different after, too: colder, covered in sweat. he fears the bath, can't tolerate any warmth. when he sleeps, his body is elsewhere, eyes moving this way and that beneath his lids. he isn't in control of himself while being used, forced to do things he doesn't want to do, like choking his own mother who wants only to save him. even after they get it out of him, even after he's clean, he still feels it: that phantom touch, the scars, both visible and not. he describes it like a roller coaster drop, like your body is being plunged in freezing water. he breaks out in goosebumps on the back of his neck whenever he's near. even now, even when he should be safe and free, he isn't. even now, he's still there with him in his body.

psychically via their connection and his possession. dr. owens mistakes will's true sight experiences as being a ptsd symptom due to the anniversary effect. will is reaching out, trying to warn them, trying to get help before it's too late. he tells them that there's something watching him, something dangerous and evil that's been repeatedly trying to lure him out and get him alone, and they just... don't do anything, because they don't believe him. they tell him it's a figment of his imagination, a result of his trauma. it's not real, they say. it's not true, you're fine, nothing can hurt you now. he feels crazy for it, like no one understands or gets it, which obviously means that they must be right. he's too different now, like phineas gage. too much of a freak all because of what happened to him, and this is the proof. this, and the way that everyone treats him like a baby now, like he can't possibly handle himself anymore, because clearly he's proven himself too broken and helpless.

except... he's not crazy. he was right the entire time, but no one listened until it was too late and it got him. it wasn't enough to have him physically there inside of him before, now he's in his mind, too. they share thoughts and now-memories, feelings and experiences and sensations. rage, fear, pain, and more. him and henry, henry and him--as confirmed by season four. this was no monster above such pedestrian and foreign human concepts like morality, but a grown man that knew precisely what he was doing and was acting according to plan.

it was likely henry that followed him home that night and kidnapped him. it was henry that looked through his eyes, that wrapped his hand around joyce's throat, that robbed him of any agency and control over his own mind and body. it was henry that kept him from his memories and that stood between him and all of the people he loves. it was henry that flooded the laboratory with demodogs and sent them after him every time in effort to bring him back. it was henry that tried to kill eleven for daring to stop him. everything, that great evil that he felt in and around him, it was... a man. "some other queer," like troy and everyone else suspected, if you believe in the queer-coding. not a monster that doesn't understand the rules of their world, something abstract and inconceivable, but a human being just like him that does understand and simply doesn't care. because he thinks himself above the rules. because his plans are more important and they justify the means. because will's agency, his consent, and his entire life is nothing compared to this man's want.

and then... years later... when will is older, making steps to move forward, trying to get on with his life... there it is again: henry's presence in will's mind and at the back of his neck. the bitter realization that it was a man behind his torment. that it somehow still isn't over. that he's still there with him, in his body. that it always comes back to what happened, where it happened, and who happened.

it's, like... it's just so involved. a real and unending violation of each and every part of will: mind and body. is there anything, any part of will at all, that is truly his and only his? that has not been taken, touched, or given up for someone else? eleven was given closure with regard to her abuser, dr. brenner. when will it be his turn to be free? when will he be allowed to take his mind and body back and be just will again? when?

[a-student-out-of-time]

Yeah, given how Hajime spoke about his parents before we met them and say that they push him into the project when we know that he always idolize the place and wanted to be special but due to trauma; he felt like blaming his parents seem much easier thing to do despite the fact that they really didn't know anything about the Kamukura Project.

So yeah, while I won't say that Hajime intentionally lie to you or anything Chiaki, he wasn't exactly being super honest with you and I do think after he and Masa are save - he does need to set the story straight with his partners and his friends about everything since I feel like how his parents were treated isn't exactly fair, now is it?

No...it really isn't.

Yeah, I mean...I've been living with them for months now. You guys are such a nice family to me, but...Haji seems to done with you sometimes...

We never wanted him to go to Hope's Peak. That's reason enough for him, I guess.

...

I said something really hurtful things about my parents too...and I'm not gonna blame Shirogane for that. Maybe...his anger was rubbing off on me a little...and that wasn't fair to anyone.

I...I don't want to be the bad guy in this. Even if Hajime hates me, I want him to be happy and have a good life. I know all this is important and necessary, but...I hate seeing how much it's tearing him up...

Keiko-san? What if Hajime told you early on that he was dating all of us? How would you feel?

...I'd...have some mixed feelings on it. I can't say I'm thrilled at the idea that my son is dating five girls.

But, even then...I would've liked to know. Because then, maybe we could've actually gotten know each other, and then all this wouldn't have happened. Maybe, when I see you, I wouldn't just remember you as that bratty girl who robbed her parents.

...

And...as mad I might've gotten with you all, it's nice to know that Hajime hasn't been alone in all this.

We'd never let that happen.

Agreed. And that's why we need to work on a new plan ASAP.

There, you see? A five minute conversation is all you needed to clear the air.

[aheckinmess]

(One-Shot series 3/3. Toshinori fanart used in title card was created by @yokkisu! You should go follow! There's great stuff over there!)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Toshinori Yagi, All Might, Toshinori x OC, All Might x OC, Smol Might, Spooky Season, Decorating for Halloween

Word Count: 1,304 words

Summary: As Halloween creeps closer, Ichijiku decides it’s time to decorate! However, after the confrontation with Catfish, Toshinori brings up a scary possibility due to his continued worry for her wellbeing.

Author's Note: This prompt didn't go how I expected to, but what can I say? My characters like to keep me on my toes, so I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3: Spooky Conversations

Ichijiku (Tigress)

It's nearly impossible to keep Toshinori away from me after the Catfish incident, and I can't say I blame him. The weeks pass with anxiety and hypervigilance as my constant companions. I find it hard to sleep out of fear that every bump and thump from my cat is actually a trespasser in my house.

A month passes after my brush with death before I have a different reason to be afraid; it's the season of spooks and screams. Weeks leading up to Halloween, I've started sleeping better and feeling less paranoid, but Toshinori still tracks my every move while he's around.

We're meeting up to shop for Halloween decorations when he saves me from a petty criminal trying to rob me. We get the cops to take care of it and continue our shopping trip afterwards. I'm rattled, but with Toshinori close by, I find myself quickly calming down. We shop for a few hours and I think he's also getting back into the swing of things.

Turns out, he isn't.

We get home and I leave him to take out a few of my purchases at the counter. Instead, l find him standing guard outside the bathroom when I walk out.

"Toshinori," I chuckle as I open the door. "You don't have to stand watch. Everything's okay."

"That's what I thought before and you were stolen from me." His jaw clenches and he glances down the hall before taking my hand. Abruptly, he pulls me against his chest like I'm his last chance at breath.

"Toshinori, what's going on?" I soothe, pulling back to cup his face in my hands. For a moment, his hands hold mine there and tears wet my thumbs. "Do you need some tea, love? Some couch cuddles?"

"No, no." He responds shakily. "We need to talk, Ichan."

Immediately, my mind blanks and my heart sinks. Childhood trauma feeds the anxiety sinking into my skin and the cold fear gnawing at me. Worry mingles with doubt as I wonder if he thinks I've been a poor girlfriend, or too much trouble. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to remain calm.

"Am I in trouble?" I ask.

"No, love, you're not in trouble." He assures with a smile. It doesn't reach his eyes. "But, what I have to say isn't pleasant."

I wait and fidget until he speaks again.

"I think it's too dangerous for us to be together, Ichijiku."

Everything stops. Even the never-ending activity in my mind comes to a standstill.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I choke out.

"Ichan..." Toshinori whimpers.

"No." I snarl through gritted teeth. "No. If your only reason is to protect me, then no."

"Ichan, what happens when another villain comes after you? And not just a petty thief like today? Now that it's public knowledge that we're dating, you are a target. Even petty criminals hold you in their sights like today. And when Catfish took you..." He trails off, knuckles turning white as he clenches his fists.

I step up, leaving no space between us as I grip his chin.

"Toshinori Yagi, look at me." I demand, and only continue when he listens. "Do you think I'm not worth the trouble of protecting?"

"What? No! You know that's not–"

"Then why let them dictate your life?" I cut in. "Why let a villain scare you like that? Do you sell all your possessions because you're afraid of being robbed?"

"No, but–"

"Do you stay at home all day because you're scared of being hit by a car?"

He sighs as his expression relaxes.

"No."

"Do you walk outside naked because you're scared you'll overheat?"

"Do you want me to?" He winks, lightening the mood.

I smack his chest with a laugh and a smile.

"No. I want that sexy body all to myself. But that's not the point! Do you give up every fight you're in because you're scared you'll die?"

"No, Ichan. I understand the point you're making. But it's a lot different when your life is the one at stake." He takes my hand and plants a kiss on it, allowing me a moment to get lost in his eyes.

"I know you're afraid of losing me, Toshi-kun. I fear losing you, too, and not just from hero work." I twirl a lock of his hair and gently stroke over his injured side. "But I'm more afraid of living my life without you beside me. Because I'd rather live happily with you even if only for a short time, than live my whole life afraid without you there with me." I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek before turning towards the dining room to go unbag my Halloween decorations. "So...will you stay with me, too?"

There's a long pause as I pull out an orange and black wreath, a few bags of candy, and several boxes of spooky lights. Take a deep breath. Respect whatever his decision is.

"Yes I will." He answers, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "Maybe it's selfish of me, but I don't want to leave you either."

"That mean you think I'm selfish?" I giggle.

"Of course not! Though I often think you're a little crazy since you have to put up with me." He laughs, laying his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ichan, for scaring you like that."

"I forgive you. Although, I mean, it is Halloween, I guess."

Together we spread out a smorgasbord of Halloween fright from my purchases. It's not until I look at my table that I remember I have a ghost table runner up in the attic. I think there's a few other things too.

"Toshi-kun, can you go grab the ladder to the attic?" I ask as I start grouping items.

"Sure thing. You got some more decorations?"

"Not many, but I know I have a few things up there if I can find them." I chuckle, making the trek up the ladder once it's in place.

Toshinori follows and it takes a little scavenging. There's no air flow and sweat clings to my skin. We both groan as we search various boxes with no luck. I squeal when Toshinori swats at my butt playfully when I bump into him.

"I don't think it's up here."

"I know I put it up here," I pout, looking around again. "But I guess it's hidden somewhere that I thought I'd remember. Silly ADHD brain."

Toshinori heads down first and I give one final, stubborn look. That's when a familiar black and white pops out at me on top of the Christmas box way in the back.

"Aha!" I dart over and grab the table runner, smiling in victory as I return to the ladder. "Found it! Past Ichijiku figured I wouldn't be able to find it...so it was on top of the only other decorations box up here...Christmas! Good job, me!" I pat myself on the back with a giggle before heading down the ladder, where Toshinori shakes his head at the bottom with a laugh.

Halfway down, my foot misses a rung on the ladder and I fall straight into his arms.

"This I can get used to." He kisses my lips. "You fell straight into my arms. You know, if you'd wanted my attention, you didn't need to go through such extremes."

"Oh, hush."

I wrap my arms around Toshinori's neck. Warmth sizzles among our mouths and travels to the pit of my stomach. A familiar need blossoms that seems to be mutual as Toshinori backs me against a wall, his body pressed against mine.

"You come here often?" I tease when I pull back.

"Of course. What say you and I find a room?" He presses his forehead to mine.

"There's one down the hall."

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

UHHHH IDK like anything autistic or mentally ill abt him??

buddy you don’t even KNOW

ok so. my guy rob goes from all prim and proper and “✨ oh rather! ✨” at the castle to “RATS” due to a variety of factors not limited to

the trauma of being knocked out, attacked, and enthralled by a vampire (who is also a guy he thought he could trust— sure, he only knew him for like half an hour, but he thought the count was nice and suave and also kinda cute and then oh god oh fuck)

and also hypervigilance and hatred of falling asleep esp in “vulnerable places” since drac first attacked him when he passed out. kinda has a 24/7 fear that Drac could decide to use him as a juicebox again at any given moment

Dracula-induced brainfog— after being enthralled, he kinda finds it harder to think/his processing speed has been slowed down. it’s a side effect of being enthralled, but it’s also def worsened by the fact that this already happens to him when he’s stressed. sometimes he just sits/lays there and does absolutely nothing because of the brain fatigue

Drac being able to talk in his head and also impact his emotions to some degree (my guy feels like. echoes? of drac’s feelings. like when Drac gets angry Rob might randomly feel angry too and have no idea why. mostly manifests as mood swings)

sudden and kinda concerning hunger for blood, since drac bit him back at the castle

and autism. rob’s been a very skilled masker all his life but when the above things quite suddenly came into play, it means he no longer has the stamina to pretend to be neurotypical and frankly doesn’t have the energy to care. bigger fish to fry. think of the scene w Van Helsing where he goes from all “✨ thanks! I’m feeling much better ✨” to “keep your filthy hands to yourself” in less than a minute. buddy boy tried the ‘I’m sophisticated I’m nt and I think about blood only a normal amount’ and fell flat on his face the second stress (new person, van helsing) entered the picture

Rob’s genuine laugh is a little giggle. the “heh heh” thing he does after getting greebled by drac is actually a stress stim he’s had all his life that has just become very prominent because. gestures to everything. same w his weird movements and posture; when he’s going through it, he tends to raptor-arm and hunch over, and there’s no more extreme form of Going Through It than having your brain invaded by an undead abomination. his transatlantic accent he uses at the castle is a deliberate affectation, he has his real accent from Midwest America (like Dwight Frye, he’s a kansas boy) when he’s too AAAA to put the transatlantic voice on

Remus Marlowe, the guy whose name I stole and who was inspired mostly by the book, isn’t impacted whatsoever by eating bugs and critters (it’s just the placebo effect and mental eelness that makes him think so). Robert, on the other hand, was bitten by Drac and partially turned at the castle, so he’s developed a genuine craving for blood that he’s been addressing by eating “not human lives— but small ones.”

at the end of the movie, renfield gets yeeted down a staircase. this always bugged me (pun intended) because. well. he got bitten. he should be vampire’d. so that happens to Robert. he wakes up at the foot of the stairs a couple of hours later, dazed and confused. pro: no more Drac in brain! con: vampire now, and he’s not sure how he feels about that.

[desertedhero]

i saw those tags, the thoughts, now and forever

OKAY here we go, I regularly bounce between HL, AI funny, and boat boys, but starting off I’ll just focus on what I’ve been thinking about lately on the former! I’m contemplating Mitch, Nick, and Adam deeply as we speak thou since I’ve been brainstorming for and outlining fic ideas for them. That's for another post

Some general line of questioning about Gordon!

I wonder what it is that keeps him going, outside the sheer instinct to survive. What motivation gets him back to his feet every time he's knocked down? What does he have to live for? (I’ve wondered about this for AI Gordon too.) This is a question for both HL1 and 2, and in the latter I imagine he might go throu a paradigm shift of sorts. Almost everything about his reality has changed, so whatever motivated him before--it might be the same, or it's different now. How does he adapt? What keeps him moving throu City 17? His identity is called into question with the incredible burden placed upon him. What does it mean to him to be the One Free Man, the savior of humanity? Not what it means to anyone else and not what anyone tells him it means. Who does he believe he is, and how does he find the strength to pick himself up every time he falls?

Perhaps his strength is in the people he cares for. If this is the case, his core group of Kleiner, Eli, and Barney are still close to him. The motive is the same, but what changes as Gordon has to navigate interactions where he realizes how much emotional growth they've been throu. He still feels like he woke up after sleeping in a little too long; the memories of working together in Black Mesa are all he has. But the people he loves all have more now that (if I may so project) makes him feel alone and like he'll never catch up to them. He'll never be as close as they are to one another now because they knew each other long before he returned. With Alyx, thou, she's almost entirely new to him. I like to think Gordon knew her as a kid, being friends with Eli. Regardless, he might feel closest with her because he's building a relationship from the ground up instead of reconnecting to old friends.

Even without the trauma he has, I've felt how difficult it can be to assert oneself into an established group of friends. It's rewarding and worthwhile! But difficult. What does that feel like when the friend group is the same one you've already long been part of, but one day you wake up and they've lived years without your presence? The loneliness would be crushing. Hell, maybe Gordon prefers being alone to feeling lonely with other people.

Now switching from Gordon to Barney:

A song I love recently struck me as relevant for Barney. I Want My Tears Back by Nightwish, my dad who also loves the group told me, is about an old man who wants back his youth. I wondered how much Barney longs for the days before the Combine--not just because of how much he lost due to the ResCas itself, but even before then. I wonder what Barney considers home when he's uprooted and moved to City 17.

"Where is the wonder? Where's the awe? / Where are the sleepless nights I used to live for? / Before the years take me / I wish to see the lost in me"

The power behind the song implies more than sorrow and regrets. It also expresses anger. Barney was robbed of his past, and whatever future he may have once hoped for is gone. He's angry and he has every right to feel that way.

The love of fairytales in me would want to believe that Gordon’s reappearance would reignite Barney's hope. That he's gonna fix everything because he's the savior and they'll live happily ever after in the end. It's not so simple, sadly, but the alternative is SO much more engaging. For example, even Gordon’s struggling with feeling that he's lost so much time and for what? They both have trauma and disillusion with life to work throu. What will it take for them to truly see what the other is going throu, and to support each other? When will be the first time one is vulnerable about their pain?

When did Barney lose his sense of wonder? Was it even before Black Mesa? His youth is far behind him, leaving little hope of experiencing things that, growing up, he'd always thought of as a constant in life. The imagery of the song brought these things to mind. Things Barney holds dear in his memories but may have resigned himself to never knowing again each day he puts that CP mask on.

[daniyanii]

I POSTED THIS ON MY WATTPAD (melaninanimez) FIRST

Soft Yandere Dabi

You remember the exact day you met him. You were just doing your day to day job as a florist. You loved your little shop with everything you had left, because well....it was all you had left.

Many years ago your shop was actually your fathers. You used to run around smelling the flowers and playing with the petals in your own world while he worked to give you everything he could. Life was good...until it wasn't.

One day while you were playing in the back room, your father was being robbed. He was always a prideful man and would refuse to give up, but that was his downfall. He refused to give the money not because he was greedy, but because he was saving up to give you a real christmas that year.

After he refused the money the robber was fed up. Your little dream world was interrupted by a single gunshot, something heavy dropping to the floor, and rummaging through the cash register.

You heard the bell on the front door ring quickly as whoever committed this crime ran off. You were completely frozen with fear, but you slowly inched yourself out the room. Once you hit the main room you were horrified to see blood spilling down the small steps that lead behind the counter.

"Daddy?" your high voice whispered out

But you got not response, the only sound that filled the room was the spilling of blood and your jagged breaths.

You had to no choice but to walk up the steps since that was the only way to get behind the counter. You always used to run around barefoot so you had to step directly in the warm trailing blood. When you peeked behind the counter it confirmed your worst nightmare.

Your father had been shot dead.

You remember running to his body and screaming. Begging him to move or talk, asking him not to leave you. But after a few minutes of crying and pleading you knew it was over, he was gone.

He wasn't the first parent you had seen dead either. Your mother killed herself by overdosing a year prior. It took you hours to realize she wasn't just sleep. You remember bouncing on her chest laughing, and begging her to get up. But after your poured water on her hand and when she didn't move you knew something was wrong.

You always tried not to think about it but without fail it remained a constant replaying memory. It was like an annoying fly who just wouldn't go away no matter how many windows you open. You took the pain and trauma from both of those situations and pushed it all the way down to your feet. Whenever you thought about it in public you would just put a smile on your face like always and keep moving.

One day a young man came in staring at the ground, refusing to look up at you. Nevertheless, you still smiled and greeted him like all your other customers.

"Do you have any sunflowers?" He mumbled out still looking as far down as he could.

"Of course I do! Let me show you." You spoke with enthusiasm since surprisingly no one ever asked for sunflowers. Plus....they were your dad's favorite.

You stepped down the steps, and lightly grabbed his hand to lead him to the flowers. He seemed to tense at this but didn't pull away.

"Theyre all the way back here since people aren't usually big fans of them." You explained but quickly shut up, feeling like he wasn't one for small talk. You let go of his hand when the sunflowers came in view.

"There they are, beautiful as ever. I'll leave you to it, any other questions you have I'd be glad to answer." Since his head was slightly up now he could see you but you couldn't really see him, you still gave him your warmest smile and began to walk back to the counter.

"Um, can you actually help me pick one? I'm not very good at this." He spoke deeply, he knew that any other day he would have wordlessly walked in and wandered till he found what he needed, grabbed the first one he saw and left. But something about this woman made him have to talk to her. She radiated this warmth that even he couldn't make.

"Of course! It's not like there's anyone else in here." She turned around smiling again

She began asking him simple questions only flower related. She could tell he was a private man due to his lack of responses and she would respect that. After they picked which ones he wanted they traveled back up to the counter. He had subconsciously fully lifted his head up, displaying scorched skin and stitches. He didn't even realize until she spoke again.

"I'm sorry but your eyes are just beautiful." She confessed to him which made his eyes widen

Half of my face is burnt to a crisp but she noticed my eyes first? And complimented me...she must be joking

"I'm sorry again, I didn't mean to upset you and overstep. Here you go, free of charge." She quickly recanted once she saw his face frown

When he went to grab the flowers his hands grazed hers. He expected her to snatch her hand back after feeling the scorched skin, but she gently let go once she was sure the flowers were in his grip.

"It's alright. Thankyou for the flowers and helping me but I must pay you." He reached to his pocket but she pulled his hand out, holding it for a second.

"No need. It's nice to actually have a customer on the weekdays. Consider it a gift!" beaming brightly and the dark man

That damn smile again, why is it so enchanting? Is that her quirk?

"What's your name?" He blurted out before he could stop himself, and subconsciously tightened the hold on her hand

"Y/n L/n. What about you stranger?" Her smile never once faltered and she didn't even think about pulling her hand away

Why isn't she scared of me? Or is she just good at acting?

"Dabi. My name is Dabi." He bluntly responded

"Well Dabi, I hope to see you again. You seem like a good man." Y/n had always been like this, her kindness knew no limits. Anyone else would’ve immediately labeled Dabi dangerous…which he was

"I- Okay." For once Dabi didn't know what to say

After that day he stalked her non stop. It was such a surprise to see that once she was in the "safe" confines of her home how fast her smile dropped. How on most days her eyes would immediately begin to water as she scolded herself about being weak.

It saddened him to see how draining it was for her to act so nice. She wasted her kindness on anyone and everyone, and it took a lot out of her.

He had finally worked the courage up to go back. This time he knew he'd have to have her forever.

"Hey Dabi! Nice to see you again." she exclaimed

She remembers my name?

"Hi Y/n." He spoke lowly trying to avoid eye contact since he knew she was probably disgusting by his burnt skin and stitches

"More sunflowers?" she questioned since most people always got the same flowers

"Um, I guess you could say that." He answered knowing she wouldn't get it, but he knew that whenever he saw sunflowers (or any flower for the most part) he couldn't help but see her smile.

He considered her a flower, more specifically a sunflower.

"Well you know where they are. Need any help picking them out?" She questioned while he just nodded in response

She took a deep breath and walked down the very steps that haunted her. Almost as if she could still feel the warm blood between her toes She refused to show her pain so she did what she always did....smile the pain away.

When they got to the very back where no one could see them, he grabbed her hand. Not forcefully, but he had a good grip on her, scared that she would snatch away.

but she didn't

and in that moment he knew

she was his and his only

"Dabi are you okay?" She asked smile slowly dropped as she saw his nervous face

"Why aren't you scared of me?" He blurted out, needing to know the reason.

Her warm smile came back as she grabbed his hand a little tighter

"Well, you haven't given me a reason to be. You're really nice, and I have no room to judge anyone."

Dabi's heart was beating so fast he could hear it. He no longer could live without her, what was to come next had to be done.

"W-Would you mind taking a walk with me?" He asked nervously, knowing that any normal person would practically scream no

"Of course, the shop is slow today anyways. Come on." She took their hands and intertwined their fingers

Dabi could feel all the blood rushing to his cheeks. He never had a woman, or anyone touch him like this so willingly.

She let Dabi lead and after quite some time she realized he was walking her out of town.

"Dabi where are we going? Town is back that way." She questioned

"I-I'm selfish. I need you, I want you, and so I'll have you. You'll learn to lik-." Dabi was cut off by lips touching his

His heart damn near stopped

He had never been kissed before

He'd never even had a hug

And here she was kissing him first

"Dabi I already like you. I'll go anywhere you want, but what about my shop? It's been in my family for generations." She replied softly

I'm fucking dreaming arent I?

"W-We can arrange t-to have it looked after." He was in such shock he could barely talk

"Okie Dokie. Then lets go!"

"Are you serious? You're not gonna run or scream and call me a monster? You'll just come with me willingly?" He stared at her with udder disbelief, expecting her to kill me

"Will you protect me?" She ignored his questions and dropped her smile to know she was serious

"With my life. You'll never be hurt again." He didn't even hesitate, wrapping arms around her waist, not pulling her in for a hug because he didn't wanna scare her.

"Will you give me your loyalty?"

"There is no one else I could ever feel like this for. Only you." He confessed truthfully

"And you promise not to leave?" She was tired of everything in her life leaving

So what if Dabi wasn't "normal"?

So what if she would never leave his sight?

She finally had someone again, and she didn't wanna have to let go again.

And he wasn't letting her go

So it would all workout

"I will never leave you. And you can't leave me. I-I love you." Dabi couldn't believe he just said that but he really couldn't believe what happened next after that

"Then what are we still here for. I'm ready to go home with you." she said while pulling him in for a deep hug

He just inhaled her scent, she smelled so floral and ethereal.

He couldn't believe she wanted to be with him.

[ectonurites]

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

[hypmic-writings]

Hi I really like writing could you do ichiro samatoki and rio with a war survival darling how would they react when they find out? Like darling used to live in a warzone and then they come to japan I dont know why but this scenario has been on my mind for a while

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Ichiro Yamada x reader; Samatoki Aohitsugi x reader; Riou Busujima x reader

Genre: Fluff; Slight Angst

Warnings: Mentions of trauma/warzones

A/N: This was interesting to do because I don’t have a lot of knowledge about warzones or the effects they have. Definitely had to do a little bit of research for this one! Please let me know if any of the information in these headcanons is incorrect or insensitive. Enjoy~

Under the cut due to sensitive content~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Ichiro Yamada

when you first tell Ichiro that you were born and raised in a warzone, he’s going to have a million and one questions for you

he wants to understand your circumstances so he’ll definitely read up on the country that you’re from and the conflict going on there

it takes him a while to catch onto all of the little things that trigger any traumatic responses from you

but as soon as they do, he’ll notice the change and ask if you’re alright

whenever you jump at a loud sound or experience PTSD, Ichiro is immediately by your side, asking what you need and how he can help

after a while, he learns what you like, whether that’s having your hand held, being given some space, being hugged, etc. 

he knows that a close knit family and community is not something you really had growing up

so he’s always inviting you over for dinners or game nights with his brothers, wanting you to spend the holidays with them or just bond with them

he wants you to experience all of the things you might have been robbed of in your childhood, and honestly, he’s going to be the best at it

whenever Saburo and Jiro complain about something at school, Ichiro will reminisce fondly about things he did in middle school and high school and then immediately teach them to you

favorite childhood movies? he’s watching them with you

old childhood games that involve lots of clapping? he’s playing them with you

throwback songs? he’s sharing all of his favorites with you

Ichiro knows that nothing will ever be able to replace the hardships you had to deal with when you were in your home country

but he wants you to know that you’re safe here with him

so he’ll do whatever he can to make you happy, because he loves you and would never want your past to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do in the future

Samatoki Aohitsugi

Samatoki doesn’t understand at first

he doesn’t get why you’re always jumping at the loud noises his Yakuza members make

or why you shut down the minute he starts to get riled up about anything

but once he learns that you grew up in a warzone and have a lot of trauma and experiences tied to that, he’s going to understand

I can see him going to Riou and asking for some insight into what warzones are like

and once he learns just how horrible they really are, he’s going to want to make sure you know that you’re safe with him

and that’s something Samatoki is actually very good at

he might not come right out and talk to you about it, but when you realize he’s bought extra locks for the door and an alarm system, and a guard dog (even thought it’s a german shepherd that ends up being a sweetie and could never hurt anyone) you know what’s up

Samatoki is very perceptive about things so when he sees you jump at the sound of a loud kettle, he’s getting one that’s silent instead

or when one of his Yakuza members gets out of line and things get heated, he’s first and foremost making sure that you’re okay and asking if you want him to take you home

your safety is his number one priority

once you open up to him a little more, telling him about your experiences and your past, everything you say will add fuel to his fire

the fire he has to make you feel like you’re a part of his life, his friends, and his family (he immediately wants to introduce you to Nemu)

the fire he has to protect you and give you a place to call your own without any fears

and the fire he has to love you and see you be happy rather than scared or uncertain about the future

it’s going to take him a while to get used to some of the natural instincts and responses you have - especially since he’s a hot head

but he cares about you more than anything and would be willing to change his ways if it meant seeing you safe and happy

Riou Busujima

Riou understands

he understands whenever you jump at the sound of a car alarm going off

he understands when it’s New Years Eve and you just want to sit at home away from any fireworks

he understands when you wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat from the nightmares

he’s been in multiple warzones and I’m sure he has his own share of PTSD, so there’s not going to be anyone who understands better than he does

so many late nights would be spent unable to sleep and just staying in each others’ arms

you guys have safe words for each other whenever you’re getting overwhelmed or triggered by smells or sounds

and whenever you feel a little guilty for using them, Riou is immediately wrapping you in his arms and tell you that it’s going to be okay

I can imagine Riou wanting to hear all of your stories about growing up in another country

asking you about all of your good memories and trying to only focus on the ones that make you happy

because it’s one thing to fight in an area like that, but it’s completely another to have lived and grown up there with so much conflict

he’s 100% going to try to cook you the food that your family cooked when you were growing up

the fact that Riou is naturally more quiet and stoic really soothes you

his presence is a calming factor and whenever you feel overwhelmed by other people, you can always turn back to him

he wants you to feel safe with him wherever the two of you might be

he’s constantly reassuring you that he’s there for you, wanting to be your rock and give you support

because he knows that stability is something you haven’t had a lot of in your life and he wants to give that to you 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[thechangeling]

For the Director’s cut edition ask, I’d love to hear about ‘Power’ and/or ‘You have found two’.

Hi!!

In my defense you asked for this.

Ok so Power is kind of like when cats push things off the coffee table just because they can and their bored. And sometimes it's a breakable glass but they do not give a fuck because they're having fun. Well that's kind of what Ty's relationship with sex is like in this fic.

He's basically playing around with something that he has been warned against either directly or indirectly. The ways people infantalize autistics aren't always super obvious. If people make you feel guilty and bad and dirty everytime you ask questions or bring up certain things related to sex then eventually you internalize that. Also people in this society have a tendency to create a culture of shame around sex in general. So a lot of parents see it as they are protecting their disabled child from the bad dangerous dirty thing that will inevitably change them in some way. And these attitudes are very gendered and misogynistic but also queerphobic.

I find it interesting how so much sexism can easily effect queer men as well and I definitely apply that to Ty in my writing. People act like sex with men, or more accurately sex with a dick damages you or dirties you in some way which is so unbelievably fucked up. My parents have this very weird way about praising me for being a lesbian where my step dad in particular talks about how glad he is that I'm not dating men because it means I'm not having sex with men which.... why???? Why would that bother you so much? I mean it's never gonna happen but still??? It's weird. And what happens if I date a trans woman who hasn't had bottom surgery? Basically the point is everyone needs to stop caring so much about dicks.

I also think it's interesting the framing of "fucking someone" versus "letting someone fuck you", like someone is framed as the person doing an action to someone else and the other person is framed as letting it be done to them. It's weird and unfair.

But anyways moving on. Ty, being disabled and queer faces a unique type of oppression where he is shamed on more then one account for having sexual desires. I find that being disabled almost strips you of your gender in the eyes of society which is super interesting because it leads to a lot of disabled people thinking about their genders in different ways and maybe not necessarily identifying with traditional gender roles.

I find that a lot of autistic people view gender differently then allistic people because we don't really see the point of the social rules of gender. Because gender is a social construct and we don't "get" social rules so we don't get gender. But honestly does anyone really???? And being queer just makes everything more interesting on the gender front. So people in society will seek to rob you of your gender for being gay/lesbian the same way they will for being autistic.

I really do believe that some of us are just naturally nonbinary but I also think that some people just feel so divorced from gender now due to our experiences.

Getting back on track. Autistic people have a wide range of sexualities and sexual experiences. I just pulled from certain specific ones to create Ty's. I was inspired by hearing a few autistics discuss autism and hypersexuality. Hypersexuality in the sense not referring to the trauma response just extreme sexual thoughts and intense and content sexual desire. I personally flip back and forth between hypersexual and having zero sexual desire or interest. Autism just changes so much of how you experience things, including sex and sexual desire.

A lot of autistic people grow up feeling like they wanna talk about sex and ask questions about it from a very young age but people get weirded out and shut you down or make fun of you. I think it's a social rules thing where we just don't care about the societal taboo surrounding sex. And you can't make me care. Why can't I ask people how to orgasm more the once consecutively at the breakfast table??? Why is that not "appropriate?" It's stupid!

Anyways so in Power Ty basically says fuck all of that and does what he wants because who cares. His approach to sex is very experimental like "what happens if I do this" but it's also about power and control. Autistic people often feel like we're powerless due to the way society treats us. So he uses sex and kink as a way to assert dominance over those who would oppress him and he gets off on it.

"He enjoyed the thrill of pushing someone to their limit, there was something almost poetic about the way he could make the most suave and collected person come completely undone. He loved tying them up, making them beg for it. Especially men. Ty honestly had no idea why. Maybe it was because so many guys thought they were so superior to someone like him."

Is this entirely healthy? Mehhhh?? Idk? I'm not an expert. But what I do know is that I hate it when allistic people, mainly doctors and researchers stick their noses in our business and make the way we naturally do things sound like a problem. There are so many articles written about the sexual "dysfunctions" of those with "high functioning" autism 🤮🤮 manly boys. Because of course.

It's always presented as this fake ass concern with barely concealed judgement and superiority. And it comes with queerphobia and kink shaming. Because society doesnt like people stepping out of the norm.

"But just like most things in life, Ty was undeterred. Nobody could ever tell him what to do. If he wanted to kiss and fuck boys and girls and everyone and anyone in between, if he wanted to defy these nonsensical and imaginary rules put in place by a world that was seeking his destruction. Then he damn well would."

It's partly about rebellion against authority as well as seeking his own pleasure. Like that damn cat knocking glasses off the coffee table.

Ty's a threat and a promise wrapped in devastating beauty and ecstacy. He won't necessarily break your glasses.

But he'll break you.

Thank you so much for reading!

[cl-01-kestis]

The Proposition

Dismay - Grand Admiral Thrawn x Rebel!Reader | Part 10

Summary: You seem to be growing closer to Thrawn with each day that goes by as you’re kept prisoner on Lothal, and after spending a late night with him, you receive an interesting invitation.

Warnings: this is a pretty long chapter, alcohol consumption

Cheunh Translations:

Nah = No

Mar = Yes

It was day 4 of being Thrawn’s ‘guest’. You’d grown accustomed to the monotone colours and lack of untidiness in the chamber you were cooped up in. Your holodevice had been repaired, you got it back last night and left it on your nightstand so you could use it in the morning when Thrawn woke up and went to do his job as Grand Admiral.

The feeling of waking up beside Thrawn every morning was something you had adjusted to very quickly whilst being held by the Empire. Neither of you would be touching, you’d be in your own sides of the bed, but your bodies would still be fairly close. He held you whenever you had a nightmare, or couldn’t get to sleep (mostly any chance he got to).

Today was Benuday, you knew because you were trying your best to keep track of the days that went by and the limited time you had left with Thrawn before the rebels made an attempt to rescue you. This morning, he made you breakfast but unfortunately didn’t have time to wake you up due to how busy his schedule was for today, so you woke up alone and in a cold bed. But hey, you got breakfast.

Thrawn wasn’t in his chambers when you showered and done your usual routine of walking around aimlessly and scrolling through your data pad. He left you a note in Cheunh saying that he was requested at the cock pit and wouldn’t be back for a while, so you had no other choice but to lounge about.

You thought a lot about how much you missed your daughter, and as well as Kallus and all the other rebels back on Yavin. It hadn’t even been a week and you hated it, you hated the Empire. But Thrawn’s company was the only medication to distract you from all the negativity you were experiencing. He comforted you when you were feeling upset, laughed with you at corny jokes, uttered a smile whenever you done literally anything, stole glances from you every chance he got, and treated you as an equal rather than someone below him.

The only thing that brought you peace at this moment in time was the fact that Thrawn hadn’t changed one bit. The only difference was his ageing appearance and wiser-sounding vocabulary. Aside from those things, he was the same boy deep inside you always knew and grew up to love. Now that was comforting.

As well as spending time with each other whenever he didn’t need to work and catching up on the 14 years the two of you were apart, you truthfully opened up to Thrawn about Omani. You told him her interests, stories you remembered of her whe she was a baby, the things she hated, what she wanted to be when she became an adult, and all the small details Thrawn had missed out on for so long. In a sense, you felt like you robbed him from fatherhood, he was so fond of having a family, only to miss out on his daughters entire childhood. It felt wrong.

He didn’t seem to show any signs of anger or disappointment towards that, but then again, he was excellent at hiding things, especially his emotions. Either way, he was infatuated by your stories of Omani’s birth, the things you went through during labour, all the hardships and trauma, but she was a healthy baby girl. When you told him that, his eyes sparkled. You could tell he already truly loved her, and he hadn’t even meet her yet. You hoped he would get the chance one of these days.

The little squeaky gurgles of a 6 month old Omani blasted out of the speaker of your holodevice as it projected a video you had kept for years, one of many that logged videos and photos of Omani’s growth and all the things she was up to throughout her childhood. In the video you were watching, you, looking much younger, had her perked up on your hip and swayed about as a song echoed in the background. You looked at the camera which was set down on a table in the cantina on the rebel base at Yavin 4, bouncing her on your hip and holding one of her tiny blue hands, her fingers wrapping around one of yours, proving how small she really was.

Ahsoka was in the background, not in the video much but you spotted her laughing and encouraging Omani to dance as she wriggled in your arms. At this time, she would’ve been talking by now. No other words apart from ‘Mama’, ‘Nah’ and ‘Mar’. But she laughed a lot in the videos, her cheeks bright and her face glowing as she looked up at you and tried to grab your hair with her small hands.

Thrawn sat beside you in his bed, his shift was finally over and he joined you in watching the videos on your holodevice. So far, he was absolutely loving it. His smile outshone everything in the room as he watched a younger version of yourself dance with your, then, 6 month old daughter. His smile seemed to widen every time you or Omani laughed, and whenever you took her hand and waved it at the camera.

The two of you watched a few videos of Omani’s childhood, heartfelt laughter and stolen glances rippled between you and Thrawn as you watched each video with a sense of comfort. There was currently one of Omani as a 7 year old, holding your device and walking around your apartment with a big smile on her face. You remembered this video well, it was for your 35th birthday and she surprised you that day by waking you up with a surprise. Her small giggles echoed from the speaker as she started jumping on your bed, and in a flash she was tackled to the mattress and you were blowing raspberry’s on her neck and cheeks, your hands tickling her sides which caused her to drop the camera at a perfect angle where the both of you were seen toppling over the bed and into the floor, you taking the impact of the landing and making sure she didn’t get hurt as you cradled her in your chest.

“You’re truly protective over her” Thrawn comments with a light tone, leaning on his elbow as he relaxed on his covers. He was still wearing his Admiral uniform, he was too curious to see what you were watching than to change first.

“She was so clumsy as a kid, I always had to watch out for her,” You smiled. “Scraping her knees was a constant” You commented, feeling your heart swell with sadness as you remembered how upset Omani got every time she tripped up and fell over. You and her were very similar, you fell over a lot as a kid - Thrawn could confirm - and one time you even face planted and left a small scar on your upper lip, one that isn’t even visible but if you pointed it out, someone would notice.

“I understand that, was she an active child?” Thrawn asked curiously. In reply you rolled your eyes and let out a chuckle.

“Active is an understatement, she was uncontrollable in some aspects. There were times she got stroppy though, if she didn’t get her way, and those were the times it was hard to be a parent,” You sighed. “She was a very fragile kid, if she didn’t get her way she would start getting angry and kicking her feet” You paused the video playing on your device, looking to Thrawn who was staring up at you from his position on the bed. He had his head tilted to the side very slightly, an eyebrow raised but not in an insisting manner.

“I think she gets that trait from you” You smirked, intending for the comment to be brushed aside but Thrawn huffed once he heard what you had said. “I admit I was a stroppy child, but I grew out of that phase quickly” Thrawn defended himself, leaning his head back on the mattress and moving his elbow away to cross his arms over his chest, looking up at the ceiling and immediately contradicting his words as he pursed his lips. You didn’t say anything, laughing instead and biting your tongue to make sure you didn’t say anything that would make him more agitated.

“Aside from that though, she grew up a lot quicker than I anticipated. One day, she’s this little bundle of joy in my arms, the next she’s a fully grown woman with her own blaster in her hands” You sighed in a mellow manner, hanging your head and doing your best not to let the facts upset you. Thrawn sat up from his position on the bed and hesitantly rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Childhood always slips by much quicker than everyone expects. Adding onto that, she’s a Chiss as well, and our childhood is shortened by 4 years compared to yours” Thrawn explains. You know about the Chiss ageing system, you’ve always known it, but something about Thrawn saying it made you calm down and come to terms with the fact that Omani was a different species compared to you, she was half human but her genes were dominated by Thrawn’s, there was no denying it. She aged the same as him, spoke the same as him and looked exactly like him, but her face structure and habits were all taken from you. That was about the only thing that made you two related. But either way, no matter how much she looked different compared to you, she was still your little girl.

Both you and Thrawn agree - and have spoke about a few times - is that Omani was unexpected in the best way possible. You certainly didn’t plan on being a mother for a long time, or ever. Thrawn wasn’t in a good position to be a father and if anything, you shouldn’t have been parents at all. But because of your escape, and because of your decision to have a child, you’ve grown into the best version of yourself that you could ever be. Omani’s brought out the goodness inside you, she made you forget about the person you used to be back in the Empire, back when you tortured and killed people unapologetically. She made you see things clearly, and because of that you were complete. You didn’t fear anything, not after giving birth and raising Omani up until she was 14. You hoped Thrawn felt the same.

“What time is it?” You asked, closing over your holodevice and setting it down on the bedside table before looking back to Thrawn with a tired gaze. He looked over at the alarm on his table and sighed.

“17:45, we should probably get ready for bed” Thrawn yawned, running his hand through his hair and immediately messing it up. He ruffled his navy strands, ruining the sleek gel look he always wore. You felt privileged to see it in all honesty, no one else saw him in this type of way apart from yourself. Well, back at the academy Eli saw him like this as well whenever you three sparred in the training rooms, but you didn’t have a problem with that.

Coming to think of it now, where was Eli?

You frowned as the thought came across your mind, and all of a sudden you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You had been so focused on building up a sturdy commonality with Thrawn once again that you didn’t even realise who else was missing. Eli.

“H-hey, quick question” You spoke up as Thrawn stood up to head to the refresher.

“Yes?” He raised a brow, his back turned to you as he took off his Admiral top, revealing his thin black vest that hugged his muscular form beneath.

“I meant to ask this sooner, but where’s Eli?” You felt nervous about asking, but you were eager to know.

Eli was such an important part of your time at the academy. Yes, Thrawn was very important to you back when you trained there but Eli was your best friend, through thick and thin. He was a human that spoke Cheunh ontop of that as well, and he became a massive part of your life back at the Empire. You didn’t see him much after you graduated because you had your own squad but there was the occasional time when the both of you caught each other at the cantina and stayed there, talking till you were both kicked out.

Thrawn stayed quiet for a while, his body going stiff but eventually he cleared his throat and let out a plain, emotionless sigh.

“He was transferred many years ago to another commanding officer” Thrawn’s voice was oddly upsetting, he seemed depressed by just talking about the issue, you ended up feeling bad about even asking about it.

“The Emperor felt that he was distracting me too much from my duties as Admiral, at the time, and Eli was transferred, I’ve never heard from him since” Was all Thrawn said before walking out of his bedroom and leaving you alone to bask in your thoughts and brainstorm his answer.

“The... Emperor?...” Your voice trailed off, hand reaching out but eventually coming back down as his words dawned on you.

The Emperor.

-

When Thrawn came back to his bedroom, you were in the kitchen preparing yourself a drink, an alcoholic one. Thrawn didn’t have many spirits in his cupboard, he mostly had Caf pods, milk, tea bags, and Dasani water. But you managed to find an expensive bottle of Spotchka at the back of the cupboard, hidden away for no one to find, but due to the glow of the blue neon beverage, you spotted it immediately. You poured yourself a small glass, making sure not to spill any considering it looked and smelled like it costed more than Thrawn cared to admit, but you didn’t pour too much in case he was saving it for a special occasion.

Putting the lid back on and screwing it tightly to make sure no spillage would occur, you turned around and leaned lazily on the kitchen counter, holding onto the half full whiskey glass. You carefully sipped at the blue liquid, the sharp taste hit your taste buds but you didn’t cringe or spit it out. Spotchka was a drink you weren’t very familiar with, you hardly ever drank considering you were Imperial in your younger years and done nothing but work, and then after that you were a mother, so there was no time to sit around and get drunk. You weren’t saying you’d never had a drink before, you did. You just never really got drunk.

“I see you’ve found the spotchka” Thrawn’s voice startled you, almost causing you to spill the drunk but thankfully it didn’t tip over the edge as you regained your posture.

“You need to stop sneaking up on me” You chuckled, placing your free hand on your chest and taking another sneaky sip of the Spotchka in your glass. Thrawn smiled, removing the wet towel which was hanging over his neck and bundling it up in his large hands. He was now in his lounge wear, black vest and joggers with wet hair and tired eyes. Even you couldn’t deny, the man looked like a kriffing god. He could do nothing and look absolutely incredible, even at his age of 47. You admit, you were jealous he even looked that good, you wish you looked the same as you did 14 years ago but motherhood wasn’t kind to you.

“I think I’ll join you” He said, walking up beside you and getting himself a glass of his own, opening up the bottle and pouring himself some Spotchka. Turning around and leaning on the counter to match your position, he raised his glass close to you. In return, you raised your own and clinked it softly with his, offering a small ‘cheers’ before sipping at the blue drink. Thrawn took a generous sip before clearing his throat and rolling his head around his shoulders, sighing in relief at the sound of popping as his tense muscles relaxed. You copied his actions with a smile, using the base of your palm to push your chin to the side and crack your neck.

The two of you shared a moment of blissful silence, happily drinking at your Spotchka as your shoulders touched. Neither of you moved away, occasionally sneaking glances at each other but not enough to make the moment awkward. Nothing was ever really awkward between you both, everything always happened naturally and nothing was ever forced.

“You know, I have a proposition for you, if you’d like to listen?” Thrawn spoke after Maker knows how long, swirling the remaining Spotchka in his almost empty whiskey glass as he turned his head to look at you. In return, you nodded whilst finishing off your own drink, hiking it back before placing the glass on the counter and looking up to Thrawn.

“There’s an event, tomorrow night at the Imperial Palace. Many people, including myself, will be going,” He started, crossing his ankle over the other as he finished off his drink and placed it next to yours.

“Many Senators and other parties will be attending- I- I was thinking maybe you might want to go with me as my... partner?” Thrawn sounded so nervous, you weren’t even sure it was him you were speaking to. You spent a few seconds thinking about it. An Imperial Party, with Senators and full of people You loathed. But ontop of that, you’d get to go with Thrawn and maybe make a statement about being a rebel and also being his partner for the night. But then again, you couldn’t be too sure that being a rebel would be your role at the party. If that were the case, an assassination would surely take place.

“It sounds good to me, but aren’t I your prisoner?” You raised a reading brow, nudging his side softly as he looked away and blushed very slightly.

“You were a prisoner when Pryce was in control of you, but with me you’re a guest,” Thrawn answered.

“I’d never see you imprisoned like that again, Rcati, seeing you like that in the prison cell made me angry but also scared” Thrawn was genuine with his words, but you could tell he was careful with the way he constructed his sentences. He was more than angry and scared, you knew it, he was just too hesitant to admit it. Either way, you didn’t force him to open up about anything and by the looks of it, he knew you knew he was holding back with his words.

“In that case, sure, but what happens when I meet people and they ask me my occupation? Haven’t I been missing for 14 years?” You chuckled dryly, still looking at Thrawn who sighed and turned to directly look at you.

“The people attending the ball aren’t part of the team on Lothal, so no one will know who you are apart from me, and Pryce if she’s going” Thrawn explained with a calm exterior, gesturing words with his hands and rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat.

“Hmm... okay...” You hesitantly agreed. “But what about an outfit? I’m not too fond of showing up in an Imperial uniform” You frowned, fiddling with the hem of your shirt which belonged to the man standing beside you. He rolled his eyes and nodded his head, arms still folded as he blew a loose strand of hair away from his eyes.

“I’ll have a tailor come down and get your measurements now, we’ve got little time to get everything organised” His arms fell back down to his side as he sat up from the counter and walked out of the kitchen to fetch his coms device. Sighing, you took both of the empty whiskey glasses and cleaned them out, leaving them on the dryer as you let out a small yawn and left the kitchen to see where Thrawn had gone.

By the time the tailor had arrived, you had washed up in the refresher and had your hair up in a bundle as you stood in the middle of the room with barely anything on. Thankfully, Thrawn had his back turned to you, sitting in his chair and analysing work from days prior as you got measured for your dress. You were wearing nothing but a pair of briefs and a bra that Thrawn managed to get for you. The tailor was a woman in her mid 50’s, greying hair and very delicate fingers as she wrote down each of your measurements with intricate detail. You held in a gasp every time the cold sashe of tape wrapped around a part of your body, from your hips, to your arm, to your legs. She measured absolutely everywhere, but you didn’t say anything.

“So, what design are you looking for, my dear?” The tailor asked, you were almost startled by what she called you but then you remembered she didn’t know you were a prisoner.

“J-just a simple gown thank you, I’m not too fussed” You reply shakily, rubbing your upper arms at the cold as the tailor started sketching ideas on her notepad whilst switching her glance from the paper to your body shape. You felt very exposed, shivering in the cold as you done a little awkward tapping motion with your feet in an attempt to warm yourself up.

“I’ll work right on it, my dear, what’s your shoe size?” The tailor asked. “Oh, I’m a (S/S)” You replied with a smile, picking up the black T-shirt from the ground and slipping it back on.

“Is there anything else you request, Grand Admiral?” The tailor asked with a clear, confident voice. You shuffled in your spot and crossed your arms as Thrawn turned back around in his seat, looking prepared to cover his eyes in case you were undressed, but relaxing once he realised you were dressed again.

“That’s all, thank you” He dismissed the tailor with the wave of his hand and in a flash, she was out of the room without another word with her tape and scribbled notes.

“Well that was riveting” You joked, your teeth chattering as you tried warming yourself up. Thrawn closed his data pad and stood up from his seat, making his way over to stand at your side and smile.

“Is it always this cold here?” You complained, frowning slightly as you continued rubbing your arms and clenched your jaw unconsciously. Thrawn rolled his eyes instinctively at your comment, unexpectedly scooping you up in his arms and, without a word, carrying you to his bedroom and dunking you on the mattress. You didn’t say anything, too taken aback by his actions as you lay on his bed with a shocked expression. Thrawn hid a smirk as he looked at your face, placing the covers over you and patting your shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

“Aren’t you coming?” You yelled out to him with a confused frown. “I’ve still got work to finish!” He replied from the main office.

“But You finished work two hours ago?!” You yelled back, sitting up in his bed and cupping the sides of your mouth so your voice could project further.

“You keep forgetting I’m the person in charge of this facility, Rcati!” Thrawn said, this time a chuckle in his voice as he replied to your eager sounding question. Sighing at his answer, you lie back down on the mattress and close your eyes, eventually slipping into unconsciousness as the silence surrounded you.

Thrawn listened carefully from his office, his eyes looking at the open door even though he couldn’t see you. He heard soft snoring a few minutes after your loud exchange of words and he smiled to himself, pausing his work to admire you, and just you. He didn’t want to move from his spot in case you heard his footsteps, but he wanted to see your face.

Thrawn was in a dangerous position. Each and everyday you were with him, his feelings for you grew uncontrollably. Everything you did drowned him with undeniable affection and he knew that it wasn’t a good thing. Loving you came at a price, if someone from the Empire or New Republic found out about the way he felt towards you, his career and life would he on the line. It wasn’t that he prioritised his work over you and Omani, he was just scared in case either of you bit the dust undeservingly.

For the time being, he had to keep his distance.

-

It was the day of the party. After 11 hours of sleep, you woke up to find Thrawn packing clothes for the trip ahead. He didn’t have work today due to the party and the limited time both of you had to get to Coruscant on time.

“Are you sure this is appropriate for a woman my age?” You asked the tailor who suited you in a black dress. You couldn’t believe that she had made this dress in under 24 hours, it was so beautiful and elegant, but you felt like you were looking at another person as you stared at yourself in the body sized mirror in front of you.

“Nonsense, my dear, you are going to a ball after all” The tailor replied, tightening the thread on the corset that wrapped around your waist comfortably, but at the same time you felt very sucked in.

Thrawn was out of his chambers, fetching his medals to wear on his Admiral Uniform at the party to obviously show to others that he was important. The thought made you roll your eyes. Typical Thrawn.

The tailor sorted your hair out naturally, placing a black headpiece on your head and adjusting it until she was happy. You looked like a Senator, but you were comfortable with that. She fitted you with jewellery and two long, black gloves that reached your upper arm, as well as a pair of black heels.

You looked and felt different, this was different than all the other Senator outfits you wore throughout the past years, you no longer felt like a New Republic Senator. You looked like an Imperial, and you hated that. Your worse fear was for someone from the Rebellion to find yku looking like that, and also being with Thrawn. You’d be considered a traitor and no one would trust you anymore, that frightened you. This whole ordeal made you uneasy, you weren’t sure why you agreed to do it in the first place, maybe boredom? A need of new enviromnent? You couldn’t exactly remember.

You flattened the material of the dress skirt with your palms, avoiding the chance of your nails catching the material as you sighed at yourself in the mirror.

“Thank you for everything, this is truly beautiful” You thanked the tailor as she finished up on your dress, smiling at you through the reflection before taking a step back and bowing politely to you. You unconsciously done the same which earned you a large smile from the tailor who seemed impressed at your kindness towards her. No more words were exchanged as she took her belongings and had a stormtrooper escort her out of the room. The soldier clad in white armour looked at you for a brief second before clearing their throat and excusing themselves out of the room and the door sheathed shut.

You looked around Thrawn’s office, pulling the dress skirt up and trying not to trip over yourself as you walked over to his office table and pulled out one of the drawers. Your assumption of him keeping a blaster under his desk was confirmed and you didn’t hesitate for a moment as you hiked the skirt of your dress right up to your hip, with great difficulty, and tucked it into the stockings you were wearing. Once you were all set, you checked your appearance before Thrawn returned and escorted you to the ship which would be taking the two of you to Coruscant.

[miaulusive]

Here's my hot take on why SAO as an anime sucks, but has literally one, maybe two or three redeemable characters. First off, I'll start with my personal favorite, and huge comfort character.

Klein

AKA

Ryoutarou Tsuboi

Klein is a character that for the anime he resides in, is very well rounded and well written. In the first episode, he finds Kirito, and asks if he can help him out. When the main plot happens or whatever, Klein tells Kirito to go one ahead, because he has to go back and help his irl friends, but makes note of how he will come to help if Kirito calls. They make that bond and all this BS happens, Kirito watches his entire guild get murdered in front of him. But while Kirito is an edge lord for 90% of the first season, Klein does everything in his power to break down Kirito's walls. Klein ACTIVELY pushes against Kirito to try and offer him support when he knows how much he must be hurting. He knew that Kirito's mental health would suffer if he kept isolating himself, feeding into self destructive behavior and actions due to his survivors guilt. But at the same time, Klein doesn't push him TOO far. He respects his boundaries, and understands that some wounds heal with time. He offered his unwavering support and friendship, yet Kirito chose to rely on a girl that happens to be as emotionally constipated as him. To give Asuna and Kirito credit, they both learned to be vulnerable and trust others by breaking each other's walls. BUT THAT SENDS THE MESSAGE THAT ONLY A SIGNIFICANT OTHER WILL EVER UNDERSTAND YOU, AND TO LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND WHEN THEY TRY TO SUPPORT YOU.

Klein stays by his simp friend to an unreasonable amount, possibly a homosexual amount, and they remain good friends after Kirito goes through the motions of his edgy sole survivor protag BS. Even in other games/seasons such as Alfheim Online and Gun Gale Online, Klein supports Kirito no matter what.

To sum everything up, Klein is a character that is meant to be an occasional comic relief and support for the edgy protagonist, but ends up being the most emotionally competent, realistic, and 3 dimensional person in the entire series. It's a shame we got to see so little of him and he'll always have a special place in my heart.

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Next up, someone I also thought deserved better/needs some more attention is a female character! Someone I believe shows and deals with trauma and healing in a serious light.

Sinon

AKA

Shino Asada

Sinon is a character that I haven't hyper fixated on as much as Klein, but I still have some words to say about her character. Sinon is a character that is immediately presented as a talented sniper, and someone who doesn't fuck around. She's strong willed, the most talented sniper in the game, and overall just a badass female protagonist. We follow her journey from GGO to real life, where she speaks about her trauma with guns, (she shot and killed a man at like 5 years old as he was robbing the bank) and how playing GGO makes her feel less afraid of them, even though she still can't touch one irl and is bullied relentlessly for it. Kirito initiates the process of recovery, by telling her to face her fears in real life. Encouraging her to stand up to the people harassing her, and prove to them and herself that she's more than her trauma.

In my opinion, this is a great message, albeit a little extreme, about how to overcome PTSD and cope with it so it doesn't control your life. Again, a little extreme, and I may need to rewatch and edit my post later. But regardless, I think Sinon is a good message about pushing forward, even if it feels like you can't. Of course, I have my fair share of criticism. Sinon, along with every other female character in the Sword Art Online series, is extremely objectified and sexualized for no good reason. Everyone depends on Kirito, the edgy protagonist, and loves him, even though he's a fucking asshole.

To finish my thought about Sinon before I go on a rant, she could have been written and handled so much better if they actually took the time to write three dimensional female characters, without having them rely on a male character, or only exist to motivate a male protagonist *cough cough Asuna cough cough*.

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My honest opinion, and the bottom line here is, if the creator didn't make this anime a self insert for virgin incels who want women to only be sex objects and rely on them (and also be good at games, but not as good as them) then this anime could have been an amazing concept if it was executed correctly. Instead of a harem anime, it could have been a beautifully told story about recovering from trauma, finding friends and allies in the darkest places, and even learning to be vulnerable around others. This could have literally been THE show for Tumblr kids, or anyone with mental illness tbh. Again, just my thoughts, tell me yours! I hate this anime so much, but I'm open to other opinions 😢

Thanks!!