#but dont worry!!! i am applying for other jobs!! root cause of the bad feelings wont be here forever

[the-apocalypse-is-cancelled]

New challenge for me it's called stop staying up til 3am and having a breakdown

[byunrelatable]

i can't move out... I'll be 16 in September and even then we live miles and miles away from any other family i could stay with BUT i'm trans + gay and they wouldn't accept that at all so it'd probably be worse with them, and i'd have to make sure i stayed closeted. my mom won't let me get a job or anything either so really i'm stuck with her and whatever she chooses to do i have to live with. and she's already said 'i'm not putting my life on hold just for you so get over it'....

thats a bummer that family isnt an option. worrying about keeping yourself closeted isnt a much better environment to be in :( 

alright. i know right now you feel trapped, and in a lot of ways you are trapped right now–it sounds like your mother is both selfish and controlling. but please believe me when i say it wont be like this forever. at some point in the future, you will find a door, or you will make one, and you will get out. i believe that wholeheartedly, or i would not say it. i dont believe in giving people false hope, so i dont say things i dont think are true. you will get out someday. for now, start planning for that future. save money wherever you can, and hide it. if you have neighbors or friend’s parents who might need help with yard work or house work, you can always do odd jobs like that and try to hide it from your mother. if you’re in high school right now, or if you can get a GED, how do you feel about going to college? that could be a great opportunity to get out of your situation, though it is a bit down the road. if you had to, you could legally estrange yourself from your mother, and the government would give you financial aid for school. you could apply for scholarships as well. my point is that, you may feel very hopeless right now, and i am so sorry that you’re having to deal with this situation. but there is hope, believe me. life is so long, and everything feels endless when we’re in the middle of it, but its not endless. this is one chapter in your story and eventually you will open a new one. just keep your head down as much as possible to avoid getting in any bad situations with your mother or the men she associates with. and start planning, just thinking of possibilities. treat it as an inevitability, that you will someday get out. maybe you can find comfort in the thought that at the end of the day, you can go out the front door and just. go anywhere. money of course limits that, but really you could literally just walk out the door and never come back; lack of money, a job, and a place to live means that that is probably not a good idea, but i hope you can find comfort knowing that ultimately you own your body and you can take it wherever you want to go.

that was kind of what my sister did, with support from me and my older brother. over the holidays my brother and i encouraged her to tell our mom that she would not go back to the UK with her and instead that she would be staying in the US and living with our grandmother. our mom did NOT like that but ultimately there was literally nothing she could do about it, cause my sister is 16 and in the state where she is a citizen, kids 15 and older legally have the right to choose their guardian, so she chose to stay with our grandma and our mom couldnt do shit. she had felt really hopeless and alone and trapped for the two years she lived in the UK, but she did eventually get out, and you will too. and i am more than willing to support you in any way that i can, the way i did for her. so come to me if you ever need advice or encouragement or anything else i am able to give.

also as i mentioned, moving in with family where u have to stay closeted isnt much of a better option, but if moving in with family is an option–even though you’d have to move far, and it wouldnt be much better–if things get really bad at home, just keep that option in mind yeah? its just comforting to know you have options.

sorry this answer went all over the place. please dont give up! i promise someday this will just be a part of your past, and might even be something you look back on as what shaped you into who you are. it takes strength to get through what youve been through and continue to go through. im proud of how far youve come and i am rooting for you! please never hesitate to come talk to me.