#but dont we all joke about how ‘all little girls were obsessed with dragons or horses or ancient egypt’ like??

[qqweebird]

“men think about the roman empire every day ??? hurr what !?? thats soo wacky” tell me heterosexual white woman how often do you think about victorian england. how often does jane austin come to mind. dont you talk about cottagecore and shit like that daily??

[tylerdashart]

(spoilers for TDP season 4)

OKAY. so i dont really do these kinda posts but id like to say a few things about season 4 cus ive seen some things and the fandom making theories, i just like to write about my own thoughts. ive watched s4 only one time due to not having netflix so i dont really remember many scenes.

"season 5 when?" are you good?? the season 4 just dropped 3 days ago! Im serious when i say ive seen multiple people already posting this question mostly on YT comments or Insta. also the fact that they're not artists OR a fic author makes sense honestly. they have no idea how animation works.

"rayla's acting weird" this is what frustrats me the most. NO she's not... ok maybe a little. but like. come the fuck on, she was gone for 2 years. ofc she's not the same person we saw in season 3. people change. plus, personally, i dont see any difference on her except this one time when callum asked her to...kill him. yes rayla acted a lot calm in that scene- not just that scene really. she was so calm most of the time, but i can see why? she's trying to get callum warm up to her, she's giving him space, she's being gentle as much as she can cus she knows how much she hurt him. she's grown up, she's not the same hot-headed, irritated elf anymore. and we all know how she hides her feelings. Im pretty sure she's gotten used to it, or managed to cope her feelings well so that she can stay calm. lastly about rayla, all i have to say is people change, so does rayla. and no she's not fake at all.

firstly, if rayla's acting weird, what about Viren being supportive with Terry? isnt that weirder? he didnt even treat his own son better, but he's supporting a trans fella? sus.... secondly, what about opeli being so chill about Ez going with Zubia. in that case most of the characters in s4 were out of character. and that's okay cus it's been 2 fucking years!

personally i think the "Zubia in Katolis" scene was a bit rushed. they couldve done it better but Im not saying it was bad at all tho! i loved the scene with the whole callum doing magic thing and the dragon sized jelly tart? xD

"why is rayla back?" why not really. she realized it was useless to find viren and came back home? she realized she wanted to see her mage? "we had something so special. but I became so obsessed with revenge, i.. risked losing the best thing ive ever had... you" she CLEARLY missed him yall. ofc she came back.

"where's the rayllum kiss" Im glad we didnt get a rayllum kiss. I know this is a cartoon show but at least the animators made it similar to how an in-real-life relationship works. people dont just go "you were gone for two years but its okay, i forgive you, lets kiss". Callum needs time to get used to being around rayla again. he's happy but also angry, he needs to see how hard rayla's trying to win callum's trust back. it was so clear that callum got a bit comfortable with rayla again in the last few episodes, especially the last one. That hug was enough sign for us to know they're gonna be okay and that they're still deeply in love.

Stella isNT EVIL YALL. leave my poor baby girl alone >:c

the fart joke was......nuhuh. idk if it's just me but it was gross. i dont wanna remember how much i cringed.

claudia was a bit- no fuck it- she was too much this season. especially in that scene where she tricked rayla with pebbles. god that hurt so much.

Lastly, Season 4 was amazing!! i loved season 4, and all the new things we saw. the arc is building up, it's so interesting, im so excited for season 5.

[percydarling]

I'll be honest,if the weasley kids had a tv show I would have percy as my favourite. Bill aand charlie arent in it so I wouldnt have an opinion (they're obviously hinted at but never there) Arthur's gonna annoy me kinda, molly is really nice but she always compares her kids. Ron (as lovely as he is) can be really mean to percy and just sucky to him. I love Ginny but everyone knows jk made her because "girl power= not feminine traits!1!1!1!" I love her,I love her love for quidditch but I feel like I still clearly see what she represents and that's jks sentiments (like cho for example, as an asian it's never gonna leave my mind). The twins would be great in theory but 2 twins insulting their older brother, burning a hole through their brothers tongue? Pranking everybody ALL THE TIME? I say I love them but seriously if I studied at hogwarts I would loathe them because hey, were in class- prank somebody in a more boring one or after. Also they're way too mean to percy.

Percy is the kinda dude I'd identify with, I hate how his family shames him alot. Sure hes ambitious but at the same time I hate when they bully him for his pride in his prefect badge and his head boy badge, like CMON! Gryffindor traits??? PRIDEFUL like yeah hes gonna be happy because he feels accomplished. I remember getting into model un and I talked about it at dinner time,my siblings got kinda annoyed but did they insult me abt it? No! They understood that this was a big part of my pride. They teased me a little "Haha model un-er" or "your rooms the country your representing right? Oops I dont have my passport" regular happy sibling stuff. You dont insult your brothers pride and joy, it's obvious hes so happy about it.

If there's gonna be a show on the Weasley family, the only interestee Weasley I would be watching is for Percy. Now let's go through every Weasley.

Arthur- at work, never home, if at home in shed exploring muggle things instead of probably bonding with his children.

Molly-would do chores, help children and maybe chat with next door neigbour. A slight chance of bonding with kids. Not very entertaining really.

Bill and Charlie- I mean depends whether they're even there or gone. If they're there they'd probably argue with each other. Maybe we'll get the Bill earring story and Charlie dragon obsession. Other than that maybe sibling bonding which is always good.

Twins- I cannot emphasize enough as to why I wouldn't watch the twins, if there was such a tv show. Each episode they'll probably prank someone most probably Ron and Percy. And then these pranks would get violent and physical and they would still be the saints and Percy the villain.

I mean the twins cause Ron's phobia, almost make him take the Unbreakable Vow (Ron was 5!) and then beat his Puffskein to death.

AND PUFFSKEIN IS AN ANIMAL.

And that's only Ron. If I start on Percy the jokes are endless but let's just end with the twins tried to locked Percy in a pyramid( God knows how old!). Enough said.

Ron- We already have Ron content in the book. Do we really need more? Yes we do but not if it's Ron insulting Percy. And if this show was before Harry and Hogwarts then Ron would be a young child like 9-10 years old and I personally wouldn't be interested. I love Ron but he loses absolutely no moment to insult or bitch about his brother. Plus Ron is whiny. Sometimes.

Ginny- They'll probably make her a Mary Sue who can do no wrong. They would seriously do that and make her a female version of the twins. Sorry not interested in watching her.

When we come to Percy there are so many things we can do. We can see bonding with Bill or Charlie. Percy being a good older brother and helping with nightmares. Percy being his mother's support system. Percy helping Arthur with his work. Percy teaching Ron chess. Percy planning a prank with twins. Percy playing dolls with Ginny.

With Percy you can relate him to everyone in some way or another. We know Molly loves Percy and probably considers him her favorite. Probably. Arthur with the Ministry so Percy and Ministry. Percy going to Bill with help for studies. Percy helping Charlie research about dragons.(Percy telling Charlie his dormmate is crazy about quidditch and asking if Charlie could give him tips and an autograph)

Percy playing chess with Ron. We know Percy is protective over Ron and Ginny. So we can assume that Percy teaches Ron chess and helps him read. Percy reading to Ginny about Harry Potter.(Really though who else would have? Molly would be busy and Bill and Charlie wouldn't)

Or we can have Percy writing stuff. Short stories and articles. Percy being a writer. Percy singing , dancing or drawing. Percy sneaking to Muggle town and talking to them.

Percy finding Scabbers.

Percy going to the Lovegood residence and talking with Luna's mother because she is such an amazing person.

(And taking her death the hardest)

Also Percy bonding with Luna.

Percy bonding with Uncle Billius or Great Aunt Muriel. Also reminsing time with Uncle Gideon and Fabian.

Percy having babysitter called Lily Potter who looked just like him but with bright green eyes. She reads to him about adventure stories and tells him she loves him very much and once brought her husband with her(who's an animagus!)

(While his brothers rejoiced the fall of You Know Who, Percy cried because Miss Lily and Mr James were dead. That was the time Percy realised that bad things happen to good people)

Well to put it in short there are so many angles with Percy which makes him interesting in my opinion.

If they do make let's hope they don't screw Percy over like they did with him in that damn game.

Also for that Percy interacting with Muggles there's an interesting fanfic called Percy's Diary.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/7542632/1/Percy-s-Diary

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Percy is the only Weasley who I can relate to which makes me love him more. I am an elder sibling, have been constantly insulted by family and friends for following rules and very rarely been put down for being excited for something.

And the whole making fun of Percy is bullying when they're laughing at him and not with him.

These 2 prepositions make all the difference when it comes to teasing and bullying.

And the twins are bullies. They are.

"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should've said something, we had no idea."

This is one of the lines they say.

How much do you want to bet that the twins didn't say something like this to Bill when he became prefect and HeadBoy?

Percy was a constant butt of their jokes and pranks, including bewitching his prefect and Head Boy badges to read Pinhead and Bighead Boy respectively, and sending dragon dung to his office at the Ministry.

This is from the official wikia. People can try to make the twins saint and say it was all good natured and everything. But I will always see the twins as bullies.

And the thing is the twins and Ron never bothered to praise Percy and that just feels wrong. Everytime they talk about Percy it's qn insult. When I talk about my brother to an acquaintance I don't insult him unlike Ron.

I feel that as Percy fans we love him because he is complicated. He isn't like the rest of the Weasleys. He isn't charming or funny. He's just a normal guy trying to do better and Percy fans get it because it's relatable. We can relate to being ordinary. He doesn't have earrings or pranks or a saviour best friend. He's just a guy who follows rules and wants to be successful. Who wouldn't relate with that?

And maybe some of us have been ridiculed just like Percy so we understand. We also understand that this is Harry's biased view and all he has been told about Percy is usually by Ron or the twins who insult him on a regular basis. And Harry is no better! He uses words like pompously like he understands how a person talks pompously?

So I love Percy a lot because I relate to him and I would never in my life apologise for loving such a complicated character.

[idjitlili]

Legolas x reader

I am so tired I stayed up till 5 am last night reading so sorry if this shit. It is shit, Idont know what happened

Imagine somehow being teleported into Tolkien’s ,the hobbit, and you end up meeting legolas and Thranduil. In which you insult thranduil, Thorin is sorta your daddy.

You have been travelling with the company since the trolls tried to eat everyone. You had quite literally came out of a floating , flame coloured line. Only to walk into the tree. A troll had picked you up and attempted to eat you as-well , but you really didn’t care, as you was focusing how your head hurt from the tree.

After explaining your situation to Gandalf , which he ended up believing that you weren’t from here, due to your clothing, and strange sayings. Plus the evidence that all the dwarves and a Hobbit had seen you magically appear.

Thorin didn’t like having a teenage girl , with barely any self defence skills , to come with on their adventure, mission, thing. Yet he felt like he had to protect you from harm, surprisingly since you saw how he treated Bilbo. Uh basically he’s your dad.

The first night with the company , they had all offered you blankets , food (lucky Bombur makes a lot.) , the princes had given you some of their extra tunics. Which they had a lot because dwarves likes to wear layers. Too bad they weren’t green.

Dori acted like a mother to you , he would make sure you ate , and even got Ori to make you knitted goods. The dwarves thought you you would freeze to death , as dwarves didn’t get as cold as humans. Something to do with their build or something, you recall Balin telling you.

You became quick friends with Bilbo, he was interested in where you were from, and what it was like there.

Kili and fili teased you for your weird obsession with potatoes, as you mostly ate them, and you even had gone far enough to make a potato ring. (I actually did)

Now you and the company are In Mirkwood forest , unaware to what is going to strike, soon.

Kili and fili ,stood either side of you in a protective manner. For hours the company had been walking through Mirkwood, Thorin denying any assumptions that they were lost.

You grunt , at the blisters that are forming on your feet , that are sweating in your trainers.

“My legs hurt.” You moan , quietly dragging out hurt.

Kili scoffs at you , “your legs are longer , imagine how mine feel.”

You look at Bilbo who is lagging behind,

“Well you can’t say anything , Bilbos legs are as long as my dick.”

“OI y/n, i dont have no legs.”

“I never said that , my dick is hugeeeeee.”

“You don’t have a dick .” Bofur responds loudly , with annoyed tone.

“How would you know if she had a dick. You haven’t seen it.” Kili responds sending you a wink.

“Yeah thank you , my dick is in my head.”

“How would it fit though?” Fili inquires , with a confused facial expression.

“I meant my personality you jensen Ackles , and John travolta blend!” You reply smirking to yourself .’Boom roasted’ not that he would get the joke.

Unknown the rest of the company Bilbo had climbed up a tree to look for a way out of mirkwood. The air felt limited in the poisoned forest , you felt chills go up your back, shivering slightly.

“Thorin...” you speak slowly, as you spot a eight legged spider, approach in the distance. It was bigger than a sheep, teeth like knives, beads for eyes.

Thorin grabs you and makes sure you are behind him, before you know it , all the dwarves plus you are surrounded. You unarmed, stay close with thorin , so you don’t die.

Suddenly the spiders are everything, no escape, the spiders are travelling down by webs and pulling up the dwarves , who don’t see it coming because they are too busy fighting the ones on the ground. When they are pulled up , they are wrapped into a webbed cocoon.

Thorin grabs a hold of you and pulls you into his jacket , then you are both slung up into the air, you become dizzy from being wrapped up in the webbing. Then you and thorin are in just stuck. For what it seems like forever.

Until , you feel yourself falling down slowly from the trees, the cocoon is ripped open by thorin. You get up looking around there are several, other cocoons with dwarves crawling out of them. You look around to see there are still spiders everywhere, you look to the floor and see thorins swords , picking up quickly you pass it to him. he nods with appreciation and passes you a dagger.

I guess you have no chance but try to help , otherwise the others will die because you were too scared to take a chance.

‘You miss 100% the shots you don’t take -Wayne Gretzky-Michael Scott -y/n l/n’

Before you can even look around for a target , you are rugby tackled to the ground, by a disgusting excuse of one of Morgan freeman’s creations.(I think he’s god uh)

You pull your arm out of its grasp, with your ,sorry thorins dagger in hand , before the poison from the spider can be injected. You stab it the face , its body goes stiff around you curling. You push it off gagging at its texture, you pull yourself off the floor only to be tackled again.

This time the dagger had been knocked out of your gasp , desperately you try to reach it buts in use, the creature pushes you down hard. You pull up your leg and kick as hard as you can, it lands on the left of you. You finally able to grab the dagger going to kill the spider, but someone beats you to it , FIring an arrow through its head.

You look up to see a blonde dude, why is he wearing leggings. Weirdo, your brother accidentally put your leggings on ,once and ripped the crotch how he didn’t notice

he doesn’t own leggings. I do not know.

Snapping you out of your thoughts , you are dragged up, dagger snatched out of your hand, and you are roughly pushed towards the group.

“Don’t you touch her again , or I’ll make sure your everlasting life does t last.” Thorin snaps at the ginger elf that had man handled you. What a bitch.

“Oh is this human your girlfriend?awwe.” The blond elf snickers at Thorin, kili and fili gag at the thought of their uncle being in a relationship.

“Uh princess , yeah you with the dance pants. Treat the king of erebor with a little respect. Assbutt.” You glare at the blond, who tended at your words. Haha loser.

“There is no king under the mountain not will there ever be.” He replies , scowling at you.

“Yes , there will be , princess.” He scoffs.

———————————————————

The blonde elf that you soon discover his name is legolas ,and he is the kings sOn.

Bilbo was missing , aand the company were led to the woodland realm. You could only hope that he would find a way for us to escape.

You and Thorin were spilt from the other dwarves, we were brought to the king. He stuck a deal with Thorin who declined. This king was as dickhead , and narcissistic. Legolas is stood next to you just in case you tried anything .

“Take him alway, ill take to his girlfriend now.” The woodland king states to his guard smoothly.

You scoff.

“ I am literally 18, you perv.”

You feel his ice eyes , stare at you , judging , your whole life, your clothing.

“You are not from here are you,child?” He must of noticed your keanu reeves shirt.

“No”

“tell me why you travel with these dwarves.”

“Why, I like them.”

He scoffs “they are scum, pigs , thieves.” He growls at you , circling you.

“Oi princess , this is your daddy?” You ask legolas who refuses to meet your eye.

“ all I can say is, at least thorin actually loves me and he’s not even my real dad.” Thranduils jaw clenched so hard that he probably could bite your head off.

“We are NOT talking about my son we are talking a bout you.”

“ okay listen here you self obsessed prick, I don’t give a shit about what you want, so cut the shit and get to the point.”

“ I want you to get my the gems of starlight,Thorin won’t expect it from you, I’ll let you all go.”

You feel bad for legolas his dad is soulless, makes him do everything while , he sits on his throne , acting like Gaston.

“No, I am not doing that to my friends, If you wasnt such an asshole and helped Thorin when Azog attacked them he probably would’ve given them to you. But you didn’t. So you suck”

Thranduils faces fled with red , he was angry he whipped his head to towards you.

“Get her to her cell now, legolas.”

“Just saying who risks their own sons life on a forest that clearly can’t be saved,”

“My sons well being doesn’t concern you. Human.”

“You clearly haven’t got love with son. You need to get yourself a girl mat-“

you are interrupted by a slap in the face.

“Well that was a girly move, who slaps , go punch me instead.”

Legolas pulls you out of the rooms quickly, not allowing things to worsen, walking you towards the cells.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

He stops and looks at you,” because he will probably execute your friends.”

“Doubt it , he wants them gems , then he needs someone to kill the dragon.” You speak carefully walking down the stairs.

He hummed in response.

After you walked into your cell,you turned and smiled at him. You knew he wasn’t as mean as he portrayed himself as.

“Uh sorry for making fun of your trousers ,” you whispered so thorin didn’t hear , he would skin him.

He smiled lightly “sorry my Ada slapped you.”

“It was a bitch move not going to lie. “ you reach up to my face that still stung, You grin.

“I have no doubt you are going to escape.” He whispers.

“Yes sir. Stay safe princess,savvy?”

———————————————————

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh” you let out , as the water in the river splashed you hard in the face.

“Why is this so fun, yet we are still being hunted.” You throw up arms like you are on a ride in a theme park, until an arrow flies at yodu and almost hits you.

You turn to see legolas , you wave to him. He just keeps running after you and the dwarves , saying our butts , see he was a good dude.

Because of you distracting legolas , he couldn’t see an orc going to hit Tauriel. She got punched square in the nose , falling into legolas , whodidn’t see it coming and fell in the water.

For elves being graceful, that wasn’t ,but fortunately he landing in the water right near you. You reach in the water and some how pull him up so he’s holding onto the barrel. You lean back so it doesn’t tip his way. Still does. He’s stuck in the water with you. You offer him a smile.

“How was your fall?” You ask him.

“Into the water ? Amazing.” He replies grunting.

‘No falling from heaven”

“Oh.” He blushes

[bibbleboo]

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo, 

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

[wanderingfan]

To Anyone Invested in the Current Pewdiepie Drama I Have Some Things to Say

I Have a Horrid Confession to Make...I was one of those kids that watched peediepie religiously. (yes I misspelled his name and no I won’t change it)

Don’t get me wrong. I stopped watching him in like my second year of high school. But it’s not because I realized he was a awful glob of wood glue right then and there.  This was almost a decade ago, before his antics made even gaming new sites, and while I was aware he made some awful jokes (namely ones about periods and that one Ao Oni video that I sincerely hope has been deleted by now) it didn’t stop me from simply moving on to the next video.  Sadly what stopped me was just that I got bored of him.  I, unaware of myself, quietly grew out of that phase of my life where I loved when he’d mentioned barrels and looked at deviantart to see how people depicted a pig and a golden statue from Amnesia. 

I was one of those embarrassing commenters who’d talk about the bro army and how we should be mad at barrels instead of each other and yes I deleted my entire account because I had the same one for five years and Youtube wouldn’t let me delete all my comments at once.  I did similarly embarrassing things for the Nostalgia Critic and MatPat too.  And like Pewdiepie, I grew out of that phase before their crap caught up with them.  I didn’t have the ability to reflect on my watching habit until my third year of college, and that’s because I was a closeted white girl who didn’t know I was closeted, who didn’t have a tumblr account until I turned 18, and had a high school history teacher that compared Pearl Harbor to the Atomic Bomb that was given the Best Teacher Award every year (she was fired eventually but it was long after I graduated.)

I think the name Wandering Fan suits me because while I fixate of certain sources of entertainment I move on fast.  When its good it can pull me back to series I loved (Undertale dont at me, Fruits Basket, The Last Airbender, ect.) but oftentimes when I look back on the stuff I used to obsess about I’m mortified (Ib, Twilight and Host, that one film about the two headed dragon that wore an Elvis outfit, god I can’t believe I told my family about Vampire Knight, ect.)

And I think as a wandering consumer I’ve gotten lucky to not put all my eggs in the wrong basket, but don’t think I’m fooling myself or that I think I’m above the people who are still in that eggs-in-one-basket phase.  If Pewdiepie did his anti-semite antics and his “oh i didn’t MEAN to promote a neo-nazi” spiel back when I was in middle school I absolutely would have been one of his defenders who thought his critics were just a little too mean to him.  Because I was part of the “bro army.”  Because I invested myself to watching his videos daily, even at the expense of the numerous things I could have done to improve myself, like actually reading the assigned books or practicing music.  I couldn’t have wasted my time watching him.  He was “important” to me.

But now I’m 23 years old.  I’m not the teenage girl who was encouraged to be kind and understanding to the worst kinds of people anymore.  I’m not the very smart very intellectual young lady who tried debating sexist boys younger than me when the new hip new thing to say was “not all men” and “sjws hate all men” and every girl who complained about character designs.  So when I learn that the people I currently follow and look up to do a bad, I can move on pretty easily.

Here’s the thing though.  While I naturally grow out of phases, I still had to actively learn to change how I view people and what it really takes to be observant.  I can still be nice, but I can also refuse to play polite when I know people are being malicious, unawares or not.  People have to actively learn to do better and be better for others, even if that means stepping on a few toes and letting go of the people you like.  Pewdiepie is 29.  As far as I know he never had to learn to do better, so he won’t be better.  There’s no incentive for him to.  There will always be young fans who will always watch him, because even if these fans move on there’ll always be younger fans to take their place.

All of this to say if you’re a 13-16 year-old mad at people being mean to Pewdiepie, you’re not an awful human being because the person you enjoy is in trouble and you want to defend them.  But he’s not worth it, and you’re going to grow out of him.  Pewdiepie is not the hill you’re going to die on.  People do not die on the hills they’ve claimed to be ready to die on, because eventually they’ll forget why they’re there and climb back down.  They’ll move on to other hills to die on, or they realize they can’t die on this hill, and will just enjoy the view for what it is.  But the people around them also don’t forget how they’ve been hurt, and threatened, and scared because of people who’ll die on the hill at the expense of everyone else’s safety and well-being.

But while Pewdiepie’s the hill you plan to die on I’m going to give you a bit of advice: next time you go on Youtube, search for something random, it could be about a game you’re interested in, or an animal you like, or a Simpson’s clip you heard referenced tons of times but never actually saw firsthand, or that vine where a guy high-fived a bumble-bee.  Do about three searches for different topics, then pick a video out from the suggestions page from an uploader you’ve never watched before.  Then go back to a Pewdiepie video.  You might realize you forgot about Pewdiepie for awhile, and maybe, just maybe, you’re interest in him will slowly but surely fade out of you’re mind.

And maybe a few years down the line you’ll be a little more ready to reflect on the people you looked up to and what you did in the time.  Look at your old comments and/or videos defending Pewdiepie and saying what he did wasn’t as bad and didn’t really hurt anyone, and anyone criticizing him is just an overreacting pc sjw.  Look at the people you might have hurt along the way and ask if they deserved it.

Self-reflection isn’t an ability that can grow without your awareness, like your nails or your hair.  Its like puberty.  It feels gross, and uncomfortable, and it’ll make you feel like a rotten apple a lot of times.  It’ll hurt.  It will make you feel bad, and you will not want to do it, and there’s a lot of people online who won’t make the attempt until they hit their twenties like me.  But the earlier you do it the easier it’ll be to avoid being fixated on people like Pewdiepie.  You don’t have to force yourself to hate Pewdiepie.  You just have to realize he’s not going to do better, but you can do better than him, and you no longer need him in your life.

Sorry for impromptu Ted Talk/ You’re-Not-Even-A-Mom-Stop-Acting-Like-One Lecture I just remembered my really embarrassing bro army comments from way back when and the fact that I deleted my account and had to resubscribe to like 200 channels ADD A DELETE ALL COMMENTS OPTION YOUTUBE PLS THX.