#but dont take it to mean that I'm hating on people who do prefer the medical model for themselves

[yourlocalstranger123]

Request is closed(dead)

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

—EVENT—

!¡Masterlist!¡

RULES + info about me

NEW IMPORTANT RULE: PLEASE TELL ME IF UR A MINOR OR NOT IN YOUR REQUESTS, I DONT WANNA TRUAMATIZE ANOTHER ONE 😭 (bc either I forget to put all warnings/correct tags or put some smut or slightly sus pictures.) ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Edit: advanced apologies. I absolutely do not know how to lock my NSFW fics. And I might not have put specific warnings like, I put some bad words in it. I'm really sorry, I'll still try my best, tho.

Edit: Hello! Sorry if you found one of my posts, and it didn't have credit to the pictures. Sorry, sometimes I forgot while writing to put credit, and since every time I post, I delete the pictures. Storage problems 🥲

I'm so very, VERY shitty with my Grammer 💔

Please be very specific with your ask bc I'm a dumb little shi- I mean a bit...behind in my brain. Like what theme: angst, fluff, etc.

I prefer if you ask for part 2 in the requests and saying which writings, but doing in the comments is just fine.

I DO NOT PROOF-READ OR STUFF LIKE THAT. AM VERY SORRY 🥲

Draft limits: 10.

I usually make the reader doesn't have a gender/specific gender or just do both genders. I also like dom reader so ahem...so like yeah, if you wanna do like (???) x reader and you don't want a dom one then tell me :D

(Again, I do mostly dom reader but can do sub reader <3)

I do some stuff like yandere, obsession behavior, etc. But reminder: I do not support this in real life. Just in fiction. I hope you understand, I'm not like bad or anything 😅

I've seen some people who like a character but they are like younger than 18 and either they don't know it or they look older for their age. So I'll allow it as long as the character isn't too young, like under the 15's, and I'll gladly age them up for any reason, although in some cases , I might decline so I apologize for that.

What Fandom I do

I can do anyone or something. Oh, even manga/manwha/manhua

But the fandom I'm mostly familiar with is:

1. Genshin

2. Obey me

3. Honkai star rail

4. Hazbin hotel

5. Jujutsu kaisen

6. MHA (I'm not actively in it, but I still kinda know most stuff in it, and I'd still do any requests from it).

But again, I can do anything. Well, anything I'm able to do properly.

(Unless you ask me about a character that exists, but I don't know them. Might take a while BUT!! I'll still do it because you guys are my lovely requesters ♡)

What I do not allow

I honestly don't know yet. No one has requested anything I don't allow. (Except for my friends, but I forgot what they said so...)

Warning:

This is an like idk, a blog that has 18+ things. If you don't feel comfortable, I'm sorry. I have some fluff in here, but uh... yeah- anyway, my super close (and some what hºrny) friends have access to my account, so if there's a post about anything weird or something, I swear it's not me. (I hate to admit it, but they're scary, and if you're reading this, my friend, please stay from me. I have holy water, you demonic, spawn of Satan, and uhhhh scary chihuahua lookin thing. <3)

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. . . Anyways I welcome you with open arms.

[bbunnyyy]

hey i was wondering if i could have a bakugo/todoroki/deku x reader (any one of them is fine) where the reader often rambles (had a past where they were often neglected and ignored) and they cant really control when it happens. so they end up rambling in class to a group when talking about something they really like, but the class ends up disinterested and kind of talks over her, before one of them (preferably Ochako cuz i have a burning hate for her that can only be fueled by fanfiction) kind of irritably cuts her off. after that the reader kind of goes radio silent and isolates for the rest of the day because they feel like a bother, and the worried guy of your choosing goes to check up on them, only to find them like laying on top of their cover's staring at nothing, a dead or empty look on their face. maybe they try and get them to talk, and eventually the reader opens up and says they feel like a bother/like no one likes them, maybe some light bullying from pink cheeks and gossip/rumors from other people in the school cuz they have a weak/villainous quirk and they deem them unfit, and even a bit of sad y/n backstory 😼 anyways i just want it to be heart-wrenching angst with little to no fluff until the end, can be from any characters POV. sorry if this is long i had a bit of a brain dump, feel free to change anything too!

oh also! cool quirk idea for the reader:

Bubble Pop: essentially the reader can create bubble of any shapes or sizes from their body or water sources nearby (its harder like that) and they dont pop unless the reader wants them too, so they can be used as bullets or trampolines to jump off of . (can even house people inside to help them escape) but when these bubbles pop they release hallucinogenic gas that can cause horrific hallucinations to those who inhale it. (feel and look real, like in schizophrenia disorder, can be very damaging to the victim). oh also maybe overuse causes the reader to become severely dehydrated, resulting is muscle cramps and liver problems, and hallucinations to themselves. also a heightened chance of schizophrenic disorder.

thats all i think.

IZUKU X READER

I like how you called him Deku 💀

I'm super sorry for the delay, I hope you like it <3

A certain pink-haired girl walked through the classroom doors, hair wet. "Bakugou has been such as ass for no reaaassoonnn." Mina pouted, laying her head on the table.

"Are you sure that's not because of your constant pranks on him?" Yaomomo questioned, hands on her hips. "Yeah, that's right. You do go overboard with your pranks, Mina."

Mina stuck her tongue out. "Awhhhh I can't help it, he's too fun to tease." "He's stuck up, isn't he?" Uraraka piped in, "He shouldn't have done that, that was wayy too mean."

"You're the only one that gets me, 'chako." Mina dramatically put her arms around Ochako's neck. "Bakugou's rude and unbearable, gosh. The only one he cares about himself. He's always mean to Izuku as well..." Ochako continued, huffing.

Todoroki and Izuku-kun walked closer on hearing what Ochako had to say. Taking a seat on the tables, listening to the conversation. "Isn't that a bit rude, Uraraka?" Izuku said nervously. "If Kacchan heard it-"

Before Todoroki could say anything, you spoke up. "I think Bakugou's that way because he's insecure. He looks like he only cares about himself, but when Izuku-kun was about to get kidnapped he was the first one to step in. Oh, and didn't he give you a sweater, Mina when you said you felt cold the other day?"

"You're right~ he's one of my bestest friends after all." Mina hummed. Ochako wasn't a fan of the fact you were the centre of attention, she made that clear by staring bullets into you.

"Even though he's rude to Izuku-kun- which isn't justified, He cares about Izuku a lot. I think Bakugou makes himself look confident and egotistical because he doesn't want to be seen as weak"

 Yaoyorozu seemed interested at first, but she was talking to Todoroki now and you could see some of your classmates yawning and others walking away. Ochako gave you a look.

"Not cause he's actually any of those things." Your throat dried up as you trailed off. Izuku nodded, smiling. But you didn't see that.

Uraraka put her hand on her cheek, tilting her head. "Woooww, that was so interesting [name]. Anyways, who wants to check out the new cafe after classes today?"

Ashido cheered and the girls nodded enthusiastically, agreeing to the plan. They crowded around Uraraka, shoving you out of the way in the process.

☾☼☽

After class, you walked to your locker deciding to retreat to your dorm for the rest of the day. You'd annoyed the people around you enough already. It's not like you had a right to be in their plans and bother them with your company. Sighing, you slammed the locker shut and walked to the dorm building.

Setting your heavy bag on the floor, you didn't bother changing out of your uniform. The sleeves of your blazer were damp with your tears. Well, whatever. You didn't mind being alone. Who cares about the opinions of some stuck-up teenagers anyways. Plopping yourself down on your bed, you decided to indulge yourself, indulge yourself in the pain your past held.

Thoughts trickled in slowly. It's not like you need company, you reassured yourself. You've done this before.

.

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Did everyone really hate you? Were they just nice to you because you're classmates? Were you that boring?

<<I bet they won't even notice I'm gone>>

<<everyone hates me.>> You thought.

<<maybe I should just- >>

☾☼☽

Your little seance with your past self was cut short by a sharp knock at your door. Not that you bothered responding though. The person walked in and you didn't bother looking at them. What use was any of this?

"Hey..You feeling alright?" A squeaky voice asked. You turned your head to see the nervous green-haired boy standing there, looking at you with concern.

▻ "Uhuh." You replied.

"You don't sound alright. Mm...I know, do you want to talk about it?"

▻ "I told you, I'm fine. Dandy."

"Look, I'm here for you. You can tell me what's bothering you, don't bottle it up. You might feel better after you say it out loud, you know?" Midoriya said, seating himself down next to you.

You didn't want to keep it in anymore. It hurt and Midoriya seemed like he cared.

"It's just...I feel like everyone hates me. That they're just tolerating me cause they have to. You've heard the rumours about my grandfather going insane because of my quirk. They're just two-faced, talking behind my back and being nice to me to my face. it just sucks."

Midoriya hummed, understanding where you came from. "I don't think that's the case. Rumours come and go, we all have haters. We were worried about you because you haven't talked much today. I thought something was off when you looked sad in class today." You listened silently. He continued.

"The others are at the cafe, waiting for us. I volunteered to bring you there. Come on [name], join us. It'll be fun." Izuku smiled.

[pineappleciders]

This mostly isn't a request but your works are so good I'm just reading every post you do it's beautiful

HEY. TW FOR DEATH. AND FASCINATION WITH IT.

(here's the actual request

(also take your time I like your posts enough to read them all

One of the main four(dream or real world doesn't matter) with somebody who has like an almost morbid fascination with death(they aren't weird I swear)

-glass anon

A/N: i decided to do the realworld main four, hope you dont mind!! also thank you it means a lot <3

TRIGGER WARNING: lots of death mentions and mentions of violence, reference to MARI incident

SUNNY, AUBREY, KEL, and HERO with a reader who has a morbid fascination with death

SUNNY

he understands tbh. like i dont think he necessarily is fixated on it but i think BASIL would be and BASIL is his best friend so he hears a lot about death,, specifically the decomposition process

he doesn't think you're weird for it, but he's a little scared of death and what it means so maybe it helps if you talk about it with him casually

i think SUNNY is the type of fella to want to just. be in the frozen meat section at the grocery store because he had a weird obsession with raw meat and butchery n knives and stuff. so he understands the fixation

if you tell him little facts and things about death and decomposition he's probably a little unsettled but he'll listen nonetheless. he likes listening to people even if it's about rotting corpses

honestly since the incident he's kind of scared of death, and hates thinking about dead bodies

AUBREY

she's definitely thinks ur a lil weirdo but you're her lil weirdo

doesn't really get some aspects of it but she has her own weird little interests,, like violence. and stealing. she's weird herself so she has no place to talk

if ur ranting or freaking out about your fixation she'll listen intently and kinda nod her head and wait for u to finish before she says anything. honestly she thinks anything ur interested in is cool

she appreciates it if you come with her to MARI's grave. even if it has nothing to do with death, she knows you won't be unsettled or weirded out being in a graveyard and u two leave flowers for her

i'm imagining her like coming to your house and saying "i saw a dead animal on the way here" and when u take her to go see it she complies but she looks away from it and goes blegh

she thinks ur funky but that's one of your best traits :3

KEL

idk i feel like he'd just go oh okay :D like he doesn't mind

he's kind of worried that ur like mentally unstable or something but he's used to being around unwell people atp,, look at his friends

he doesn't really like to think about death. thinking about what happens afterwards and all that just gets him anxious so he tries to avoid thinking about it. he'll probably appreciate if you tell him not to worry about that kinda stuff or something

if you like. idk want to visit a graveyard or a morgue or something like that or if your eyes spark when you hear about someone dying on the news he'll be again a little confused but he knows you mean well and always tags along wherever you go

he's kinda worried about u but he doesn't say anything. everyone has their own little interests and sometimes weird aspects! it's what he likes about you, how you go along so casually as if you didn't just say the most horrific fact he's ever heard

HERO

like KEL he's a lil worried but he calms down if it's just a weird interest and not like. mental illness

he likes seeing your eyes light up whenever your interest is mentioned, even if it's strange,, and he'll politely listen and talk to you about death even if it's not his favorite thing to chat about

HERO prefers id you don't talk about decomposition or any body stuff around him,, he has a weak stomach but he's up for chatting about the afterlife and psychological things about death

he's kinda scared of what comes after death but he just ignores it,, no need to worry about that anytime soon! hopefully

he's great at accepting flaws and weird parts of people, so while he does think it's a little weird to be fascinated with death he doesn't mind :D

[raviosrupees]

Super Specific Linked Universe Headcanons Pt 1.

All of the Links are autistic but they all have wildly different ways of presenting it. Ask me about their special interests, please. Please.

Warriors is in his 20s. He is an Aquarius. I'm right.

Sky is the ultimate straight cis ally, but he has bi wife energy. He is best friends with Legend, and they're kind of inseparable.

Twilight is a taurus, he's cis and bisexual, but leans towards women and fem ppl (and too hung up to think about anyone but one woman)

Wild is taller than yall think, 17 or 117 whatever is more convenient for him, zelda told him his birthday is november 7th (scorpio, ofc) and he just accepts that.

Hyrule is pansexual (mostly cis but might be genderfluid, he likes to wear feminine clothes and makeup)

Four is like? 3'8, and he's 20 yo but most people don't believe him. He's a trans boy, and most of the colors are too besides vio, who I think is either genderfluid or pangender, uses all pronouns. Four is bisexual but leans towards guys, though he loves his Zelda.

Legend is 4'10, 17 yo, born december 14th at midnight. he is trans, any pronouns, and bisexual.

Ravio is same height and age as Legend, and they're both born on the same day but ravio was born at noon. This really bothers Legend, he wants his own birthday. Ravi loves it.

also ravio is gay, asian/latino, chubby and has the best smile <3

war is cis and bisexual but he leans towards women, I think he's aromantic but probably could be romantically involved with someone.

Times eyes are more gray than blue

Sky 9 times out of 10 has no clue whats going on. Stupid and confused, and its perfect.

Twilight always knows where all of them are, and I don't even know if it's just smell. He has mom instincts "where are my kids, what are they doing"

Wild got mad anger issues pls calm down babe. Kind of scary. He lets hyrule braid his hair sometimes.

Hyrules eyes are more green than blue, and he has freckles all over his face and body (jokes he ought to get a kiss for every freckle)

Whenever Wind gets mail from his little sister, he reads it to the group. He's very proud of her, and she's very proud of him. She has a bunch of big brothers now.

Four + the colors are white-asian mixed (or looks like it yk, bc he's hylian) his eyes are dark brown.

Legend goes non verbal a lot, esp when they're stressed, but when she talks, she talks. I mean, hand gestures, ranting, cussing, pointing, "and you a bitch, and you a bitch." favorite curse word is cunt.

warriors ruffle everyone's hair, and they all hate it (esp four and legend, who claims he's going to choke him with his own scarf)

Sky likes to sing and dance, and wishes more of them would dance with him.

Twilight has slept as a wolf so often that it's practically natural for him, he really prefers it. Also, he takes all of his nightwatch shifts as a wolf.

Wild will teach literally anyone about edible flora and mushrooms and such, and foraging around hyrule, if only they would listen. Sometimes talks random animals ears off about his favorite flavor combos. Sky loves to listen and ask questions.

Hyrule will hand his favorite people random stuff as "gifts" like feathers, flowers, rocks, dead bugs (he's obsessed with bugs, he loves them so so much and they're all his friends) his favorite animal is a bumblebee

i know we all agree wind swears likek a bloody sailor, bc thats what he is, but how about him using random shit for swears like, "crabs cankles," "bilge-sucking" or calling the others landlubbers. also feel like he'd be the type to say "bite me" when someone disagrees with him.

Four keeps a bunch of books in his bag, and if their reading is disturbed they all have different reactions. Blue pinches or glares, Vio ignores you unless she deems what youre saying important, red gets physically distressed, and green will actually tell you to be quiet. (blue pinches a lot actually)

Legend is a very picky eater, especially with textures, this pisses wild off (wdym you dont like it YOU HAVENT EVEN TRIED IT)

Sky's Zelda is a bisexual virgo, and she knows everything.

Malon makes very good bread. I want to shove that shit in my face ong. Also she insists on giving each of the boys big hugs when shes sees them.

[choclateteez]

🥊💥4* Town Conflicts pt. 2!💥🥊

IM ALLLIIIVEEEEEE!!!!

Im so sorry yall!! University has been KICKING MY ASS.

I just finished exams and everything, this years been a colossal mess (nearly died lol) BUT i couldn't forget about this so i managed to finish this up before the end of the year! 

I promise I have more in the tank, please bear with me and tysm for your patience!!😭😭🙏🏾

🧡Aaron Z🧡

With others

Z is a pretty peaceful guy in general

He doesn't like confrontation, doesn't like to get violent

As quiet as he can be, he doesnt let some things slide

If someone throws a comment here or there, he can ignore it easily

But dont test his patience

Hes a huge advocate for a little something called personal space

He cant stand it when strangers or people he's not comfortable with are inside his bubble

If you pester him, harass him, or stay too close to him for too long, he will not hesitate to push back

literally

He would never start a fight, but he sure can end it

I mean, have you SEEN this dude? 

6’3, lean, muscular, you're pretty much asking for an L

He’s a one hit wonder. One punch and youre gone (Jesse knows this all too well…he tried waking him up once…)

“I began to pass out…and then my head hit the wall, bam!”

With 4*town

He's pretty chill with 4*town out of the rest of them

The only thing he could really complain about was when the gangs energy was way too high for him to be comfortable with

Don't get him wrong, Z loves a good time. But when things are getting a bit too hyper, and the others try to rope him into the chaos, it's a bit too overwhelming

And that ended up with them "accidentally" leaving him out of stuff because they thought he was a downer. Especially when 4*town had just started

He was already a bit lonelier than the rest, as his popularity took a slower time to gain than the rest. This didn't help his insecurities in the slightest

Not only did it hurt the hell out of his feelings, it caused him to be more closed up towards the rest

Aaron T was surprisingly the one who noticed the negative impacts it was making on him, and he felt incredibly bad

He tried the "helping without confronting" tactic, a lot of which included him asking Z if he wanted to help him with his latest prank

Although reluctant, Z slowly started feeling a bit more appreciated

Even when he was the butt of the prank, T made him feel like he wasn't so invisible as he sometimes felt

Soon, even the other guys started asking if he'd help them do revenge pranks, started inviting them more often

And of course, gave him a well deserved apology

Turns out, he got a lot of it wrong. Apparently everybody thought he didn't like them because of his constant nonchalant expressions??

All this because they made assumptions about his feelings only from his face?

"...i'm surrounded by idiots." "WE'RE SO SORRY😭😭"

💙Aaron T💙

With others

He loves a good tussle

If you give him a reason to, he'll be delighted 

T wont fight for small reasons, obviously, but he is the perfect definition of "fuck around and find out"

Just don't do anything creepy or rude, and you stay on his good side

His biggest ick/pet peeve are creeps and stalkers, unnecessary paparazzi

Notice the unnecessary. He's not shy around cameras, and if his lovely fans want some content, who is he to deny them?😌

However, if there's hidden paparazzi, or people who follow him or his friends around, he can't stand it

He finds it gross and extremely disrespectful

And it makes him unbelievably uncomfortable. He hates having to feel as if there's always someone watching or taking pictures of him when all he wants is a damn coffee 

With 4*town

T admits that he can be a bit of a handful sometimes

But jeez, sometimes the gang needs to accept the fact that he prefers to interact and actually do things with other people

Being an extrovert is hard y'all

Especially when all of a sudden every single person in your group needs alone time

And he understands that. He'll respect their wishes every single time without fail. He'd throw in a whine or two, but he understands their needs.

But they never seem to understand his..

When he needed company, all of a sudden everyone thought he was being too much, or being clingy

He has the urge to shake their shoulders and tell them that he wasn't asking them to plan a party with him, he just wanted to go get some damn groceries with some company

Was that too much to ask?

He thanks the Lord that Tae Young was there for him a lot of the time

He seemed to be the only one willing to be with him all the time

Tae Young noticed this pretty quick and all it took was one convo with the rest of them, and boom

For Z, it was like sticking his toe in the water when it came to hanging out with T, and then he found out just how fun his company was

And as stoic as Z is, T found himself latching onto him more frequently. 

As for Jesse, he ended up being the brunt of T's pranks a lot, but he finds it endearing in a way.

Robaire found T absolutely hilarious, and has grown to treasure him more and more every day

[ziracona]

dont they sew the mouths shut and cut the horns off the sarabas? Also idk the full meaning of the name but I know the bas at the end translates to nothing? Seems a demeaning role idk? Maybe I'm missing something. I'm not very knowledgeable on qunari stuff tbh so this isn't an attack just genuine confusion

They do; you are not incorrect! You will not hear me arguing they are less brutal or less strict, only that I think their treatment of their Mages is nevertheless easily preferable. ‘Bas’ has several meanings actually, though, but not ‘nothing’. Its most technical meaning is ‘thing,’ but it is used in context most frequently to mean ‘foreign’. Qunari call all non-Qunari ‘bas’ or ‘basra’ (fem version) as a neutral term, kind of like being called a goy. Just means ‘not Qunari’. The technical name for Mages is ‘dangerous thing’. It is certainly a little othered, but it’s not derogatory.

Qunari deeply fear magic and its potential to go out of control or be influenced by demons. Some of this is superstition and fear itself, some is because some Qunari do have a more difficult time controlling themselves when in fits of rage than other species, and their magic is stronger than that of humans and elves (both the berserker issues and magic strength likely due to intentionally introducing dragon into their gene pool). Their reaction to that fear, and to the Qun’s demand that the good of the one always be sacrificed for the good of the many, is extremely brutal: to have Mages assigned a keeper to watch them (Arvaarad), to wear a shocker that immobilizes them if their Arvaarad is afraid they’re going out of control, and often to have their mouths stitched shut.

However, while this looks extremely horrific to outsiders, unlike most Circle Mages, Saarebas aren’t publicly kidnapped and dragged from their homes and imprisoned against their will. Like all in Qunari society that aren’t actively rejecting it, their Mages want and work hard to be honorable and fulfill their duty to the Qun and their countrymen. One could of course also argue they’re manipulated by their cultural upbringing, but the point here isn’t about whether or not Qunari or Circle Mages were raised into their religions and societies and manipulated to stay there, or chose it of their own volition. It’s about the experience that both have inside that culture.

Again, I’m not arguing that how the Qunari treat their Mages is flawless or good. It is clearly flawed and should be reformed. What I am here to argue, is that I think it’s easily preferable ethically and as a life to experience, to how Andrastian countries treat their Mages.

(Continued under the cut out of love to people on dash and in tags because it got long)

Andrastian Circle Mages are inexorably tied to the religion of their countries, like everything else in Andrastian counties. And it’s certainly brutal as well. It just tries to make it look prettier, when the Qunari are, as about most things, up front. Most Mages are ripped from their homes as children at the first sign of magic, imprisoned, have their blood taken to make them trackable for the rest of their life, like getting a gps chip implanted in their head. They’re guarded for the rest of their lives by people who were trained to kill then, and the majority of whom are looking for an excuse to, and hate and fear them. They’re encouraged not to associate with the Mages they guard so they won’t be emotionally attached if they have to kill them, which leads to about the dehumanizing prisoner life you’d expect. Their harrowing is insanely difficult, and even taking too long can get you assumed demon possessed and executed on the spot. Most circle Mages are too terrified to love, because Templars will find out and use your relationships to punish and control you. They also know at any time their entire circle could be accused of something it did not do, and be razed. There’s a religious statute in place for permission to kill all Mages in a Circle. And if you do try to flee or see your family again, you’re dragged back in chains and punished incredibly harshly, or worse, made tranquil, which is essentially being a lobotomized slave whose body will be used to clean your old prison and sell wares for your masters. They could at any time be made Tranquil, without even knowing why. While they have easily more freedom to walk around and be alone than under the Qun, it’s not pretty, and it’s not kinder.

Beyond the brutality, the core of both this argument and their life is the shape of the role they inhabit. Circle Mages are dragged away publicly by the church and told every day of their lives “You are dangerous. You are evil. You are the physical embodiment of mankind’s sin that lost us the Maker, only allowed to exist at all by the bottomless empathy and forgiveness of the Chantry. You are a danger to everyone around you. You are inherently shameful and sinful. You are a living container of the failings of your species. You’re bad, and you must be controlled by our bottomless kindness not to be too vile to be allowed to exist at all. You’re dangerous, and evil, and must be saved from yourself. You, left to your own devices and choices, will always inevitably succumb to evil and demons and hurt people like your kind always does. You can only do Holy Magic for the church under our Holy Control or you’re happily making yourself a vile monster. If you step out of line, you’ll be lobotomized and have your body used as a slave like your former brothers and sisters walking the halls Tranquil, to protect you from your own evil. Don’t you feel loved and grateful you’ve been allowed to live?” It is a life of endless shame and fear and guilt over what you were born, and societal shame. Nobles try to hide magic in their kids often not out of love, but the shame of magic, and drowning a child within an inch of their life is considered a worthwhile chance among human nobles to kill the magic in their offspring. There is no honor or hope or joy in it. Ethically speaking, it’s an abysmal and miserable place.

Saarebas, on the other hand, are a role of value to the Qunari. One of the positive things among the Qun is its intense and utter fairness. While this certainly has downsides when you get to individual liberty, a lot of it is good. All jobs are of value, all species are equal under the Qun, and all sexes. They don’t even have the average concept of gender—they’re job gender. You’re the gender of whatever job you do. If you do it, you are it, no matter what you were assigned. It’s not a tiered society at all. It’s just an insanely organized one. As for Saarebas, they are no different. While magic is deeply feared among the Qunari, their own aren’t blamed for what they’re born as. They are very powerful, and useful, they simply are born along with strengths, with more dangers to them than anyone else. They are simultaneously considered pitiable, and the most honorable of all roles under the Qun. While all Qunari are asked to sacrifice for the good of all, none are asked to sacrifice more than their Mages, who are asked to sacrifice their entire lives. Thus, no one adheres to the Qun more strictly and entirely than them. They are perhaps the most truly Qunari, and seen as deeply honorable and dedicated for that. (Before I forget: they do cut off the horns, yes. This would seem to a human like a shaming act, because the horns are innate only to Qunari and lovely, but actually horns are considered basically like we do hair, and Qunari born without horns, a rare genetic mutation, are considered extra cool for being different, the way heterochromia might be in humans. It’s an act to make them visibly recognizable on sight even if ever not in full garb, but it’s not to humiliate them. It’s like having a monk haircut as a monk).

Continuing: They will be asked to commit suicide if ever away from their watcher, for fear a demon has taken them and they may hurt others, which is brutal and a horrible practice, but it is not seen as them being a vile monster falling to their sinful flaws, but an innate danger to the power a Saarebas wields, and they are seen as an honorable member of society doing the most devout thing a person can, and offering their own life freely for the good of all. They are not bullied or hated or treated and seen as monsters; they are seen as dangerous, but in a simple factual way, and live as members of their society recognized as very worthwhile, and admirable, and whose choices to follow their Arvaarad dedicatedly for safety, or to follow their code and end their life if asked, are expected instead of enforced by terror and prison walls. It is not a life to make you devoid of happiness and pride. They have more freedom in some very real ways, than Circle Mages do. Mostly in regards to inner life and personhood. When Ketojan willingly ends his life in DA2, he tries to explain to you that he’s doing his duty, and is at peace, and if you inform the Arishok of the events and ask if he’s not surprised, he will rather sternly tell you it’s no less than he’d expect, and he will not dishonor Ketojan’s memory by suggesting he thinks sacrificing himself to protect the others was a difficult decision for the man to make. There is mutual respect and trust and honor in the role.

While I am not arguing those practices are right, and I very much don’t agree with a lot of it, I think the way most players see other aspects of Qunari society as worse than the Andrastian ones applies hard here too; the flaws with one are unfamiliar, and with the other, normal. The ways Circle Mages feel about being Mages is the guilt and shame many people brought up in Christian societies are raised to feel about being female and bearer of the first sin, or being gay, or just being a living human at all. Guilt and self-hatred and sinfulness and shame and fear seem normal to a Euro-Christian player base. And then much like the way many people from Euro-Christian areas look at full body coverings or rigid societal rules in the Middle East as inherently oppressive and bad for their unfamiliarity; and all in of course much worse ways than their own, Qunari society is mostly treated by players the same way. [[And is largely a culture in-game somehow both middle eastern and Chinese coded? Anyway.]] The familiarities the Qunari do have culturally are not to a Christo-European experience, but to cultures often othered already by those people, or feared. Does the fact it is a voluntary and proud experience of cultural belonging instead of hatred make everything a Saarebas goes through right? No, that’s not how that works. It definitely does not. But does it matter significantly that they are voluntary, proud and honored members of society? Yes. Absolutely, and it should.

Moving even a step further past personal identity and socio-religious place, comes how the power structure has them treated by others under its rule. The Chantry, the highest religious power for circle Mages, espouses the sin of magic and dangers of it every day, and shapes the views of commoners and nobles alike to see Mages as abominations waiting to happen, lesser, bad. Makes them mobs with hate and pitchforks. Makes their own Templar guards gleeful to lash out and harm them, and righteous in their paranoia and fury. The Arishok, the highest power of military for the Qunari, adherent to the Tamassran’s (religious heads) teachings, snapped at even a foreigner without context suggesting a Saarebas not have been entirely honorable in his death. They are separated from their society, but as dangers with honor, not as monsters. To quote my eloquent and much more concise friend:

Both Saarebas and Circle Mages are forced by their cultures to surrender autonomy and freedoms, and to suffer. The difference is that the Qun demands people respect the Saarebas for their sacrifices and suffering, and treat them with dignity. Whereas the Chantry encourages the abuse and degradation of mages beyond even what the circles do. Both draw a line, regarding mages. The Qun draws a line in the sand, and doesn't allow anyone to cross it. The Circle draws a starting line, and tells everyone to start running.

[femsolid]

Any good book recommendations or saved posts about body image? Stress and poverty play a role for me, but I keep relapsing with my eating disorder... I am having the hardest time accepting my body even though logically I know, it weighs what its suppose to weigh, looks the way its suppose to look, although I am not teeny tiny or "conventual." I miss my anorexia a lot... I hate and feel ashamed of my body and am trying not to. My mother told me a doctor would say 120 pounds was healthy but she felt it was "too heavy." I was 13 and only 100 pounds when she told me this... My father also sexually assaulted me and was a grandiose narcissistic who constantly sexualized my body. I struggle to even feel my body is mine. My mother was a covert/vulnerable narcissist who felt the world was unfair to her, was in denial of the abuse and hated me for "making" her feel like a bad mom, and could not take criticism. I starved myself from periodically from ages 14-21 to lose rapid weight, usually in the summer, and got a lot of praise and compliments. I starved to stay at 105 pounds. Then sought recovery and she kept bullying me about my food portions, and complained that I was gaining weight. I was in shcok and so grief stricken and anxious by her behavior that I started throwing up and she told me I was vomiting because I was eating too much and encouraged me to vomit or to eat less. She's dead and I am still in shock. I struggle to love my body now... I feel so fat and ugly. I know beauty standards are based on pedophila and being thin is based on this oppressive system, but I feel so damaged and worthless over the praise I got for being thin, and being dehumanized where no one cared that I was essentially harming my health by starving myself, as long as I had virtually no body fat. I hate the fat on my body, and have rationalized that its ok to eat 1,800 despite my doctors orders to eat 1,800, telling myself its arbitrary advice. I hate this disease, and am afraid I will never feel good enough :( (sorry for the sob story; I love and believe in radical feminism, but due to trauma, can't apply it to myself, it doesn't register emotionally. I worry no one will ever love me or find me attractive because I am "so fat." I have a puffy tummy, but my jeans are only 24 inches... so my mind must be distorted. I have relapsed twice this month. I dont want to feel this way. I don't want to hate myself or my body. I wish I had a men in black stick to forget the trauma or their mean words, it has taken over my reality. I think people are full of it when they pull the (also harmful, cause it still tailors to the male gaze,) idea that men "prefer thick women" when a disturbing amount of men and women idealize anorxia. What is the obsession with women being only 105 pounds? Kim Kardisharin I remeber was saying she was only 105, my ex roommate further damaged me by bragging, like she was superior, that she was only 105 pounds. I feel so fat and ugly, I miss the love I got for being skinny. I felt most loved when I was sick and skinny.

Well that was a heartbreaking read... I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry you weren't protected and supported as every child should be. Sadly I can relate to a lot of what you describe. Feminism definitely helped me feel better about my body but it's not easy to get your abusive parents' voice out of your head. I was just looking into the very subject of eating disorders and anorexia lately, and I found this post about being praised for being sick and skinny that really shows that your experience is sadly all too common. I have a body category on my blog if you want to go through posts on the subject of body image.

I do have some book recommendations for you:

Unbearable Weight by Susan Bordo, especially these chapters:

The Politics Of Weight by Amelia Morris

Beauty Sick by Renee Engeln

Wasted, A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Maria Hornbasher

Hunger, A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

On the topic of child abuse and the resultant cptsd I would recommend:

A Practical Guide to C-PTSD and The C-PTSD Workbook by Arielle Schwartz

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

Daughter Detox by Peg Streep

Running On Empty by Jonice Webb

I have a blog where I share things that I find helpful to recover from child abuse and trauma. Also, finding a good trauma informed therapist could be helpful, especially considering you have been sexually abused.

I would also recommend these two uplifting books:

Self Compassion by Kristin Neff

So that you stop being so harsh on yourself.

The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal

So that you focus on what your body can do instead of what your body looks like.

[ask-teamplayer]

Other than Ronin who already answered this, what’s everyone’s favorite subject?

FATE: You're looking at mostly ELA kids, here. Me, Enzo, Seth, Cora, Vera- I think I can speak for all of those assholes, but yeah. We were always the best in English. Though Cora also really likes history. You can probably tell.

SETH: i mean im not really all that interested in anything!! i like cooking and playing keyboard, i get options for stuff like that in the future but right now its just,,, eh?

SETH: but if it were anything i guess it would be english! i dont get the kids who hate reading books to be honest, i actually like reading classics! gotta broaden my mind :B

ENZO: pretty on the mark yeah but i used to prefer gym for a while cause like physical dude

ENZO: but i dont think my actual swordfighting skills account for anything when im playing volleyball with annoying mean girls who keep giggling instead of playing the game

ENZO: or when i get hit in the face with a rubber ball which has actually happened a LOT

ENZO: to be honest i think im the only kid that hasnt died during the mile except nahla cause former track kid

SETH: I HATE THE MILE.

FATE: Can't imagine how the mile would be with people with boobs. I am so sorry. I'm lucky I didn't evolve.

FATE: It is horrible though. It should be considered actual torture - dammit, I know excessive amounts of cardio isn't actually healthy for kids who don't do it all the time! I don't want to break my muscles.

FATE: I'm not looking forward to gym next semester.

LILY: i loooove biology! math and ela, too, but bio is my favorite

LILY: or general science! i love taking care of plants, i actually have like fourty at home! they all have names!

LILY: like why do you think i evolved into a leafeon? honestly i think growing plants in third grade awoke something in me.

LILY: its really fun, but i do have trouble focusing on stuff sometimes. im kinda daydreamy hehe. i really need to get my grades up :( maybe ill see if i can join one of vera and fates study sessions. working next to other people i actually like and commentating in a funny way helps me do it faster.

FATE: You're always welcome. I wouldn't invite someone like Darin or Nahla, but I know you're actually smart and like working and aren't going to piss me off.

DARIN: i hate school :(((

DARIN: i dont like anything :((

DARIN: maybe i should get into sports thatd get me into college no problem itd be so much fuckin easier than this

CORA: You do have it in you, Darin. I believe there's untapped potential in academics.

CORA: I've seen the way you talk about anime and shows you like. There's an actual brain up there, as much as you work to prove otherwise. I'm very proud.

DARIN: AY WHAT THE FUCK CHIEF

NAHLA: WOOOOW, You're allll nerds, huh?

NAHLA: Yeah, I'm in the camp with the traitor, sorry! I don't really like anything, but gym's cool! I like track and stuff, and I do like hitting annoying girls in the face with balls! Coolkid's just a coward and cant bring himself to hurt anyone. Pffft.

NAHLA: No worry! I'll do all the hitting for you guys. Someone has to!

CORA: Oh, Nahla, baby dear, may you hit Wade first? He's been getting on my nerves in second period lately...

NAHLA: Anything for you, honey sugar sweetie baby crystal dreamy dear! <3

NAHLA: Regardless of our totally real romance I just need an excuse to punch him anyway. Or throw balls at him in general.

ENZO: BALLS you say

RONIN: okay posts over before enzo makes another dick joke and cora and nahla start gay fucking on the table. im a little oversensitive right now, fate screaming is just going to make me kill someone. maybe in like an hour guys, wrap it up.

VERA: I also take a lot of art classes

VERA: I would like to get better at traditional because I would like have to have less reliance on stabilizer use

VERA: And doing things like ceramics is fun

RONIN: see? when i need someone to be normal on a stupidly derailed ask, i ALWAYS know youve got me.

RONIN: thanks, v.

VERA: The sentiment is appreciated but when have I not "got you" in your words

RONIN: never, v. never.

[flaray25]

HERE I GOT THREE. RECENT. ART WORKS. goddamn i missed this.

VILLAIN SPONGEBOB AU (if sb was a villain)

Spongebob first photo. Well his name doesn't really prefer to be called Spongebob perhaps... Robert. He's on his villain vibes.

Second photo SQUIDWARD!!! this squidward is different that the original squidward. He has bandages and wears a black fire proof leathered coat.

Differences between them two:

Sp- i mean- Robert- his personality seems to be sometimes sweet but goes deadly when you piss him off. Spo- ROBERT. Doesn't like how much he sees Squidward dying. He loved him and adored him inside but on the outer. He seems possessive and manipulative. When he is interacted with squidward spongebob tends to go flirty on him. He goes absolute tantrum and breaks out when someone hurts him.

Squidward. Squiddy is kind of- well- soft. He sometimes do attacks which is fist and kicking but he doesnt do that much. His defense works to him more tho. He's sometimes mean to Robert but also visibility of obvious love sensation comes to his heart lol. Squidward in reasons why he has bandages. (He gets it from falling down the stairs, explosion some other things that hit him, someone who hit him) and a couple more bandages in his body. He gets worried when Robert gets hurt or worse. He also gets really shocked. (Not the in fear or also terrified) when robert is angry at someone he's just- stunned.

Villain Spongebob

Back months ago spongebob had found out that the customers never needed him at all. Infact, they only used him. He is a fry cook hero and umm some other things can maybe go weirder. Spongebob realized that he was the glue to keep the town sticking. Every customer complains how much wrong or not right he cooks the krabby patty or when the order is taking a bit too long. His realizations came when patrick tells him "dont be sad spongebob you're just like a glue that fixes the town thats all i dont think they even cared about your physical health"

SPONGEBOB/ROBERT THIRD PHOTO

Escaping the colors of fantasy

This is the time spongebob's realisations came and after so so hard that he cried, his mascara (from his eyelashes) kept in touch to his cheeks temporarily. When Spongebob looks at the mirror for too long he figured out what was wrong with him and why people hated him. It was because of a faker of being so damn happy he was he breaks the window with his left fist. His eyes lost a sparkle meaning that when everything made actual sense to him it lost his purpose of being a frycook in the krusty krab ever. PERMANENTLY.

Realizing after so much people wanted and needed him when he's gone, or even also times when plankton or the other villains came in action. They only needed him because he was just the 'special' one.

Spongebob one day changed his appearance (seen on the third photo of him about to change also that abs) and came out making a deal with plankton then after making him get the formula, spongebob takes over the town bringing plankton down.

Squidward kind of changed when he saw spongebob. Then also there goes spongebob leaving the whole town (with all destroyed things)

I think thats it?????

THANK YOU FOR 100 FOLLOWERS. LOVE YA MWAH.

Also i'm still answering anons in my drafted tumblr thing so. Might take a while heheh

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday z! are there any wincest tropes/kinks/AUs that you think COULD be interesting, but just dont tend to be approached from an angle that grabs your attention? How do you think they could be reworked to be compelling or more unique?

i meant aside from the tropes youve already subverted in your published fics haha. or you could talk about what the process was like when you were writing them!

happy day, eve! i think you are already in bed. doesn't mean tomorrow can't also be a happy wincest thursday!

h m m

wellll I think I've already been pretty obvious about subversions with dadcest and a/b/o, since they've got tags of their own. So we'll set them aside.

One that I think you know makes me throw up in my mouth a little, Christine Taylor style, is possessiveness!kink. I mean, just in general I find it pukey but with wincest in particular. Now, it would take a narrow cut on this for me to find it interesting, but --

The trouble I have with most possessive!kink as depicted is that it's super OOC. They really aren't possessive of each other's bodies, at all. Now granted, that's in canon, which as depicted is only gencest (alas), so certainly you could make an argument than in an actual bodied bro-bangin' sitch that possessiveness might stretch and pull. BUT: it remains the case, in canon, that Dean is possessive of Sam's presence and Sam is possessive of Dean's trust & care -- and I'm always most interested in sexytimes!Winchesters who feel as much like canon!Winchesters as possible. So! How could you do possessiveness in a wincest fic that would feel like that?

First part would be that no one's getting slammed against a g.d. wall or being called a slut. I prefer my Winchester brothers to not act, in fic, as though they are product models for the Relationship Red Flag Factory. (Seriously, why are shithead boyfriends so popular.)

Second part, for a more unique approach: this is where it's hard! But I'd be into some relationship models where e.g. Dean doesn't care at all that Sam's fucking other people. I mean, talk about canon. Dean's practically throwing a mini-parade any time Sam's dick gets even slightly wet. But oh man, if Sam stays the night at the girl's place? Or if, gulp, Sam spends a weekend over there because [in Sam's mind] it's convenient? OH NO. Dean can handle it if Sam doesn't love him most of all -- I mean, he hates it but he kind of expects it -- but Sam can't leave. And so -- what would that look like? A little different than 'no, bad bitch can't run away from Daddy', I expect.

The slightly coozey answer: in general I would like all of these tropes more if they were written like grownups were experiencing them.

[storiesofsvu]

hiii! hope you’re doing great 💖💓💕 I was wondering if you could write something regarding Rita’s (calhoun obvs hehe) “discarded” relationship with Ed Tucker. I’ve noticed that that’s something not talked about much. Idk, maybe your thoughts or a headcanon, thanks! 🌸

it’s okay if you don’t want to write about them, I’ll understand 🤗

Hi!! thank you!! i'm doing good!

okay. first off I think that people don't talk about it much because a.) it's only ever mentioned in a deleted scene so not everyone knows about it. and b.) because a lot of us hate it. LOL. tbh i never liked Tucker, especially on my first watch through because of who the actor played on Gossip Girl, like, he came onscreen and I instantly went "ick". upon a second or third watch through I finally kinda supported him & Liv together, and thought that they really should have been end game (out of all her toxic dick choices, he really was the best). BUT, lets talk about Rita...

Sometimes I think that Rita was out at a bar one night in dire need to get laid, and it's nearing last call, and Tucker's the only one left and she's all *sigh* "fine" kinda thing and takes him home to rail him into oblivion, maybe pegs him a couple of times. it maybe happens 2-3 times but that's it. (cause the line was Liv: "you should know i have history with Tucker" Rita: "so do i." so we don't have much context)

BUT. I can also see it being a much more longer term, serious relationship. (though canologically i dont think it was but i'll get into that later)

I do canon Rita as being very fluid when it comes to her sexuality, I mean, she has canon chemistry with SO many characters that there's simply no way that she's straight. but i also kinda feel like she prefers/has a soft spot for women. So while she may refer to herself as queer/gay, she's not gonna turn down a fun time.

Anyways, with Ed, they have a lot in common based off work alone. I think that he probably approached her, because, who the fuck wouldn't. And he's not intimidated by her like some people are. She's all "yeah sure, why not" about a date, because, why not. They go for dinner or drinks, and she's probably impressed by the place he chooses cause it's a little more high class than she expected from a cop. They can easily bond over bitching about detectives breaking rules and fucking shit up, and she probably has more than a few stories about cases he's handled of cops who fucked up and thus she easily got the case thrown out. They probably both despise Stabler, and overall, they have a good time together and when it's done, they probably share a quick kiss on the cheek, leaving it open to continuing to be coworkers (ish) or more.

Rita reaches out for a second date, and they're able to just be comfortable with each other. Ed enjoys going out to museums, art galleries, the more "boring" stuff that a lot of men wouldn't like, he's like...more sophisticated than Rita would've thought cause she kinda just lumps him in with the usual cop types. I think in the long run, they could work, Saturday mornings reading the paper, helping each other with the crossword, playing games like backgammon, maybe chess, cards, just like the little quality time with each other that they each enjoy and makes them happy. We're also hoping Ed's a good cook, which honestly, I can see him being. Like, full on, better than Carisi, can make delicious and fancy shit at home and that makes Rita fall even harder for him since like, she sets pasta on fire. I honestly see them both having more of a romantic relationship with each other, like, enjoying time, snuggle up, sleep in the same bed, but not too much sex, don't ask me why. but i do. I think that they could fall into a very *comfortable* domestic relationship/dynamic that they're both kinda *shrugs* "this is nice, lets just be life partners" and live together and come home to the other and not actually get married.

okay. now CANON wise, the scene in s18e1 Terrorized that we DO see. Is Rita entering the interrogation room Liv & Tucker are in and he greets her all "Rita...what're you doing here" (or something like that) and she replies "nice to see you too Ed..." with a raised brow and tilt of the head and a bit of attitude. SO, obvi they're greeting each other by first names and shit so that's you're first hint that they have history. BUT, hear me out. it's the "nice to see you too" that makes me think it was rather casual, and that Ed ghosted her to a sense. Like, not a sexual fwb thing, but like, they'd been on a small handful of dates and had been enjoying things and then, who knows what happened, but he ghosted. she's not pissed about it, per say, cause she is Rita fucking Calhoun, but like, she's annoyed, she doesn't like being ignored and probably deserved a text at the very least. (and then to get back at him she goes and fucks liv so good liv forgets tucker's name)

anyways! thats what i've got for ya for now!!

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you

[st-just]

dnd sci-fi anon here! Thanks for the answer, you hit the nail on the head.

As someone who tries to make the best game i can for my players I'm always trying to be aware of where I'm in the wrong about how I run my games, so with so many "it is impossible to do sci-fi in dnd, just play starfinder or lancer" posts I sometimes worry I misstepped by sticking with dnd overall, but I think what it comes down to in the end is that my players directly asked for a dnd campaign in space, with magic-powered tech and space elves and bringing swords to a gunfight, and we all prefer 5e over Starfinder (which would also be a good system for the kind of campaign we all wanted). I had someone who went "I want to play a wizard space cowboy" so I think this was a good pick for the campaign we all wanted.

But i did want to make sure I wasnt just being stupid about it. I agree with you and I think I just run into so many people online who don't see it that way, and that ends up making me second guess and worry that my view on it is just wrong and im being pigheaded by sticking with 5e in the end. I shopped around for a bunch of systems when i first considered this campaign but it came down to "why learn a new system when my players quite literally asked for dnd in space?"

I feel more sure about that decision after hearing from someone I dont know personally who has little reason to worry making me feel bad by telling me if I'm wrong, but also explains thoughts thoroughly enough to convince me if I am. You were more likely to give me a more detailed explanation than the people who just go "there is NOTHING dnd is good for, just play another game" and if i had just asked someone I knew would agree with me it wouldnt do much to help me feel like I made the right choice.

re:

I mean, like, 'your players are comfortable and enjoy D&D and don't want to learn another system' is a perfectly legitimate reason to stick with it! (Certainly the reason I mostly have).

Anyways, I'm super not an authority on TTRPGs at all (I can recommend Legacy and Blades In The Dark and Delta Green as all variously a lot of fun with the right group and Unknown Armies 3e has my favorite session 0/campaign creation chapter ever, but that's about it), but I can absolutely say that you should absolutely positively never take people vitriolically hating something on the internet as being the final word on its quality. Like, about anything.

[fubbies]

I think my least favorite thing about this fandom, if I may be permitted a small criticism, is when people get so mad or upset that I say I have a fobia of functioning furbies and dont like them.

Like they take it personally and send me literal pages of rants about why they're just a kid's toy and they can't hurt me and blah blah blah and how my being afraid makes them hurt personally.

I mean this in the nicest way possible but some people have legitimate fears and aren't just scared because of the furby creepy pasta junk thats gone around forever (not that fear from that isn't valid, paranoia is a powerful and horrible thing sometimes)

Sudden noises, especially voices, can trigger panic attacks and frightening auditory hallucinations for me. Animatronics scare the ever loving heck out of me. Don't know why but they do.

Does that mean I hate furbies? No. Does it mean I'm trashing on your comfort subject? Not in the slightest. I own over fifty furbies! Please stop sending me asks about how much you think I don't deserve them because I can't love them exactly the way you do.

It isn't fair that I try to have a warm community and safe place for myself only to have people yell at me for something beyond my control that doesn't even actually effect them.

Let people like furbies the way they want. Cursed little devil spawn, cute cinnamon rolls, oddbodies, silent, functional, etc. Maybe we won't get every single person's reasons for liking or disliking certain furbies but the fact that we found people who care like us is beautiful, why does it need to be soured by preference?

[underlying-purpose]

Hi just saying something because I feel like it but-

Speaking as someone who is pan and genderfluid, so both a man and woman and many things in between and more (aka trans, nonbinary, if you want to use labels like that) why is it so hard for so many people to not police other people's experience with their own gender and sexuality

Like who cares if people see themselves as aromantic or asexual, like theres no reason for anyone other than themselves and any partners they have, if any, to know that in the first place, let alone tell them if they're valid or not?

Or the bi verses pan debate, like I'm literally trans to a degree but I prefer the pan label more, not because of whatever definition someone wants to put on it, or because I feel bi people are transphobic (literally they're not??? Being one way does not inherently mean you feel certain ways against things! If your problem is with "bi people being transphobic" then its not bi people you have issues with, it's people who are transphobic. Literally not the same group. Same goes for people who think being pan is biphobic, the issue you have is with people who are biphobic, not with pan people?? Those ideas can exist separately. You dont get to choose if I'm biphobic for preferring one word over the other??)

Or like the bi-lesbian debate, it's not about people trying to erase what being a lesbian is about, its about including people who have a different nuanced take of gender either as themselves or with a partner? As a genderfluid person, especially one who presents feminine, I dont doubt a lesbian could theoretically like me and still be a lesbian, but since my identity also includes being a man, if they want to include that in their own label then why is that a problem? Or maybe they're genderfluid themself, and are in a relationship with a woman, but since sometimes they feel like a man they may not only want to label themself a lesbian because they're not only a woman who loves women. It's not my place to decide how their sexuality and their gender interact! And its definitely not yours either, it's only theirs!

I just think it's stupid that we have all of this infighting about what label means what when all we're doing is causing more problems for ourselves and each other? The whole point of an LGBT+ community is to be, not inclusive of labels, but to be inclusive regardless of labels, right? Homophobes, transphobes, whatever bigoted group you want to think of dont care about what exactly you are and how you express it or how 'more correct' your take on labels are, the problem is that you aren't straight, or that you aren't cis, or anything like they want you to be!

It really doesn't take much to be an ally, but it takes a whole lot of effort to hate. So why choose to hate?