#but doesn't that describe all of my New Ep Thoughts posts

[being-of-rain]

I gotta get round to writing down my feelings on Dot and Bubble, before the next episode comes out! They're conflicted feelings. My opinion has been swinging like a pendulum.

For most of the episode, my main reactions was 'are they Seriously just doing a Social Media Bad episode? Surely there has to be something more to it.' And of course, there was. But... well, the last few scenes really committing to the twist doesn't really change the fact that for a lot of the episode I was cringing at the 'these people spend too much time on their phones' vibes.

The twist that everyone was bigots... well, at first I wasn't sure it landed as well as it could've. I've seen lots of accounts of people who didn't get 'space racists' right away, and I agree that most of the final read classist more than (or just as much as) racist. But then again, in many circumstances aren't the two things tied together? And the more I sat with the episode after it ended, the more I appreciated it. There were quite a few moments and microaggressions throughout the episode that were easily dismissed as simply the mistrustful and argumentative nature of many a Dr Who guest star. And I guess the episode WAS saying 'being on your phone too much is bad', but it followed it up with 'because you'll end up in your own little bubble of social media that could easily radicalise you or feed your inherent prejudices.'

But... after I fully digested all that, I was left thinking 'is that all?' The episode's big reveal is 'this society is bigotted,' and it did have a few things to say about that. But in the end, is that it? I know AI has been done to death, but 'social media becomes sentient and hates is userbase' is an interesting (and hilarious) idea that gets brushed over as quickly as possible, and the slugs don't get much more attention, all because the episode is too focused on the human aspect. And if this episode is so interested in racism, then what does it say that there's only one character in the episode who's experiencing that racism, and when he finally understands it he doesn't care about it at all. Because the Doctor's frustration in the end is just about not being able to save the humans, not about anything they've done to him.

Then again maybe we should circle back to this being just as much about other prejudices and not racism exclusively. Sure it's important, but as we've said, the episode does have things to say about bigotry more generally. About the mindset of mindlessly following instructions, and ignoring your own hypocracy, and throwing people you idolise under the bus if you need to because the only person more important than people like you is you.

But on the other hand, I'm extremely very white. I've seen fans of colour accuse the episode of being cheap and shallow. After all, why is it a big statement for an episode to have an all-white guest cast if there's tons and tons of other Dr Who episodes that do that without thinking?

You get the idea.

In the end... well, I'll be brutally honest. On top of my mixed reaction to the episode's politics, I've just never really vibed with 'sanitised dystopian utopia' aesthetic. So my current emotional reaction to Dot and Bubble is 'meh'. Mark it down in the same category as the previous episode: I'll be interested to see what I think when I rewatch it, but it's not going to be something I'll go to rewatch very often.

What else to say about the episode? I actually noticed that a lot of the colonists were white and blonde before halfway through the ep, but then drew the conclusion that maybe they were all clones. I didn't fall in love with Ricky September like it seemed many viewers seemed to, I just got a little confused about what role in the story a random perfect guy like him was playing (I found out eventually, and boy was it more brutal than I expected). But I did enjoy seeing the Doctor and Ruby both try to flirt with him. The Doctor is now a Gay Best Friend tm. Oh it goes without saying that Gatwa's acting is phenomenal, especially in his brief time appearing in-person.

I know it isn't the show's fault that Gatwa was busy filming other things, and I usually enjoy shows finding ways to work around production limitations like that, and I even tend to like Doctor-lite episodes... but it is a real shame that in the first season of an exciting brand new Doctor, there's two episodes in a row that he's hardly in. I've seen the next episode described as the most traditional of this season, and while I'm not going back on my opinion that I love the experimenting this season, I am looking forward to More Traditional purely because it'll mean more Gatwa. And regency Gatwa at that. I hope he has a fucked-up romance with Jonathan Groff.

[emeryhiro]

My Thoughts on TBOC SDCC Panel & Interviews

First off, I felt like a kid again watching Melissa and Norman on an SDCC panel for the first time and was overwhelmed by so many positive emotions ♡

Regarding what was covered during the panel and what I'll be sharing my thoughts on, in this post, I'm going to try to keep it brief and only talk about things that are new to me compared to what I heard during the Tribeca panel and in my thoughts post on it [here].

~~~~~~

Zabel on his responsibility with the show:

Firstly, Zabel is actually pretty funny, and every time he speaks about the show I find myself trusting him more and more and feeling more confident that he knows what he's doing. I especially loved how he said, and I quote:

"There is a responsibility to live up to the standards of The Walking Dead, the standards that Norman and Melissa had as actors creating these characters. So that's the part where you wanna make sure that you don't let anybody down, you don't let the fans down, you don't let the actors down, you don't let the history of the show down. You have to at least try to maintain the same standard and hopefully maybe even push it forward."

Melissa, on her return to the show:

It was wonderful hearing her speak about how much she missed Carol and how excited she is about, and I quote:

"getting to go forward in France, where [Norman] set the roots, thank you very much. I had some things I had to do"

and how France will be a catalyst for all sorts of changes for Daryl and Carol.

I love how much she said she enjoyed the role of an EP, and I have no doubt she's brilliant in it. My main thought here is that I really hope that, like Lauren and Danai, she also has the chance to direct an episode in season 3, because whatever she touches will end up being Gold.

Norman on Daryl and Carol's bond:

I loved how he described their bond as cosmic and beyond tangible. Carol can sense that there's something wrong with Daryl even from across an ocean and vice versa, which is so true to their characters. They don't need to say a single word for the other to understand everything they're thinking and feeling.

Also, when he said:

"He's starting to lose that feeling cause he's been there so long,"

Melissa's face and reaction had me laughing out loud. What do you mean, Norman? Can you please elaborate on that for us?

If I had to guess what he means, I'd say it links to Daryl's self-esteem and his idea of self-worth. As I've mentioned before, it's obvious to me that the longer Daryl has been away from Carol, the more he's regressing into his old self and habits, and I think this feeds into that. I think he doesn't believe he's worth being loved, searching for, or crossing the Atlantic for. And that sense of security and confidence that he'd built with his family in America is slowly climbing away.

In comparison, Carol has always been one of, if not the strongest, characters on the show. Yes, she is struggling without Daryl, but the moment she's told his life is in danger, she has this overpowering sense of motivation and strength that she'll do anything to save him.

Norman on his favourite scene (The Reunion):

The words he used to describe the reunion scene and how he felt about it really had me in a puddle... especially the comparison he makes at the end, and I quote:

"When we meet, when that finally happens, there's a build to that that happens, and we worked really hard to make that scene what it was, and that kind of was fireworks going off inside me"

This is the sweetest description of the scene, and I don't know if my heart can handle it.

Additional moments I loved:

I love how both Melissa and Norman keep checking on Louis to make sure he's okay.

Norman calling Melissa his partner in crime, describing how excited he was for her to come back, watching her work, and Melissa's reactions to his words 😭❤️‍🩹

Overall, I just love how they appreciate, support, and genuinely love each other so much ♡♡♡

~~~~

Thank you for taking the time to read this. We're so close to having them back on our screens, and I'm so overwhelmed by the excitement for the new season!!

I'd love to read all of your thoughts on the trailer and panel, whether in response to this post or a post of your own; I can't wait to read it ♡♡♡

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 3x09 Thoughts

Okay, so back during S2, I wrote up my thoughts about each pair of Hacks episodes as they dropped – partially for sharing but largely as an archive for myself of my own thoughts/feelings to revisit when I watched the episodes later to see how they held up, how it compared to watch them serially vs. as a whole season, etc. Anyway, I was incredibly stressed out and busy for much of this season (after over a year of that being the key set of words to describe my life), but I wanted to throw out my thoughts about the finale before they grow too stale! And maybe I’ll come back and revisit the prior episodes in posts later when I have the time (hopefully in just a couple short weeks!) to enjoy them properly

As always, disjointed bulleted lists are the name of the game, going from the big picture to the detailed:

Overall, this felt like a very solid episode in the vein of season 1 in many ways! It brought us back to the interpersonal as the primary ground of conflict after many episodes (here and in S2) of the new hour, the special, and the Late Night host gig quest being our main plot drivers (which, at many times, made for weaker storytelling for reasons that exceed the scope of this post!). In particular, I felt like this episode hit its stride around the halfway point, and never really faltered after that in impressive ways!

That being said, I had two somewhat significant critiques of the finale (both of which reflect larger trends about strands of the show that continue to leave me a little disappointed)

We should have seen Marcus' conversation with Deborah about the new job. Period. I'll get into what could have been cut in my second critique, but even if there weren't weak spots in the episode, I still would have been deeply disappointed in the show for this oversight, especially since they apparently filmed it. Although Hacks is clearly a show with a leading duo, it once had a core ensemble, but S2 saw them moved more and more to B-plots and bit roles, and now S3 has seen many of the characters we know and love eliminated almost entirely--a point that's particularly galling given that it's almost entirely characters of color (many of them canonically queer) who have been cut in favor of new white characters. Moreover, this scene would have been SO IMPORTANT - I could have seen it going 2 ways: a) Marcus quits after the convo where Deborah tells Ava she's willing to lose her, and Deborah has a reaction that is so utterly outsized because it's the terror of losing the person she's had with her the longest now compounded with the reality setting in that she's also driven away the woman who gave her new life when she most needed it; or b) Marcus shows up to quit, and Deborah immediately launches into a rant about Ava's leaving, which puts Marcus in the awkward spot of adding to that at a pivotal moment in the career of the woman he's spent much of his adult life with or giving up something he needs to do for himself; it could have been a lovely callback to S1 when he shows up with his whole speech prepared but then accepts the promotion without ever telling Deborah how he feels - only this time Marcus would have changed so much, and he'd have the opportunity to showcase that growth by insisting that he needs to do this for him. So many lost opportunities...

re what could have been cut because imo it did NOT work: Kathy Vance's return. Now, I love Hacks in large part because it insists on the complexity of its characters. No one is purely the victim or the hero of the story, and Deborah's "click" moment showcased that better than anything. AND YET the writing here did not work. Back in the Christmas ep, I messaged a friend saying I was glad that they brought Kathy back but seemed not to ask us to side with her - after all, she comes crashing back into Deborah's life, doesn't take ownership over her actions and in fact insists she was in the right because it only happened a few times, because Deborah wasn't sleeping with him (very "you weren't playing with it, so it's mine now" little sister energy that is deeply unappealing in a grown ass adult), and because they were the "better couple" which is, I'm sorry, NEVER the fucking thing to tell someone whose marriage and life you destroyed. I joked then that I'd take back my compliments if her role in the finale suggested that actually we should be on Kathy's side here. And lo and behold... What's a real bummer is that there were ways to do this better! Because you can have sympathy for an imperfect character--this show is a testament to that fact!--but not like this. We as an audience have no reason to side with Kathy when she insists that Deborah will be worse than ever and berates her for cutting their weekend short. Instead, we see a woman with a large sense of entitlement she's done nothing to earn and directorial choices that don't make it a smooth transition. But what could have been lovely is, for instance, treating the Christmas and finale reunions as these deflationary moments of anticipation and disappointment because they are, after this many decades, essentially strangers to one another. Had we seen two women who longed for the deep affective ties of their childhood relationship only to be confronted with the cold hard fact of their estrangement from one anther, it would have been so much more powerful. And here you could ACTUALLY garner sympathy (some) for Kathy by having it be this moment of "I lost my sister" partially through her own actions "to Late Night once, and now, right when I have a chance to try to build something with her again, I feel like I'm going to lose her again before I can even really try to do right by her this go around." THAT could have worked. This was just too much time on something that did almost nothing in the grand scheme of the plot (because we didn't have the emotional connection to feel it as another compounding loss for Deborah in an episode where Ava's "and you're going to die alone" could have landed with even more force)

Okay so it turns out this is getting hella fucking long, so some shorter praise and giddy feelings things:

I LOVE how often Ava got to say the things we've all been squeeing about for years during this episode - especially that the material is good because of their relationship, not the other way around; their dynamic is not incidental to the work, and that's so important to me personally.

I had guessed that Ava would be offered head writer and quit her current job, only to have it taken away because Deborah was too scared to rock the boat, but I did NOT see the end coming! In fact, I kind of thought Ava might end up suing Deborah for intellectual property theft (using material Ava wrote outside of her contractual appointment for the new show because, surprise surprise, the writers who sucked when she was a guest still suck now compared to Ava!) In fact, I sort of thought that end scene might end up being a return to the car scene, and was relishing the thought of Ava's mimicking Deb's "It'll be fun, honey." But the blackmail as a form of love/devotion was soooo much better. Truly chef's kiss.

Also the way this rewrote the S2 finale even as the underlying message remained the same is so special to me - I'll stay with you even when it's bad for me (sacrificing my career -> sacrificing my morals) because it's good for you and more importantly it's good for us and the work. JPL know how to write a finale, and I'd give up a kidney to have that same energy be there throughout a whole season again (not that the eps are bad, but they lack some of the sharpness in writing and emotional depth that JPL do so well with finales and also often with the first couple eps of a season too)

Lastly JPL going on the record that Deborah was turned on by that final scene + Ava's "I would, wouldn't you?" and "Let's begin" - truly some of the hottest TV. We're so back babyyy. No more half naked superheroes with all the eroticism of a desk chair. Give me messy women determined to fling themselves into the air because they know the thrill is worth everything good and safe they're leaving behind, even if they hit the ground with no parachute!

I have many, many thoughts about S3 and what's to come, but I'll save them for another post because phewww this got long as fuck

[ju-vondy]

Jason's past info reveal on EP. Five X My own thoughts...

After playing the latest episode of MCL New Gen I had to do this post because when Jason told us about his father I almost fell of my chair screaming "OMG I WAS RIGHT???!!!!!" For those who didn't play the episode 5 yet: 🚨⚠️spoilers 🚨⚠️

So... I had this feeling that Beemoov was going to introduce a family drama for Jason, particularly involving his father, to justify his poor behavior, ya know? Like...: the typical story where the teenager loses his father, faces family problems and ends up becoming bitter and tough because of it. The whole "family is a mess" narrative LOL (I honestly hate that concept of "You can heal she/he" thing that usually come together with this kinda plot, that's why even though I made a difficult past for Jason in my fic, he secretly goes into therapy often... so Candy won't need to worry about being a damn "healer" for him 😂)

In fact, I even considered killing his father when Jason was a teenager in my fanfic because I was so sure his dad was dead. But then I thought, "No... Beemoov wouldn't use that cliché of the man who lost his father too soon and had to take on family responsibilities at 18, right? What a drama!"

So, today I'm here to justify the plot I thought about to you: I didn't kill off Jason's father in my fanfic because in my mind it would be too obvious and cliché. Instead, I wanted to explore a different angle that still included family issues and could add depth into Jason's character. But then... I realized that my own story also ended up being quite dramatic LMAO 🤣😅🤐

The way I created Jason's family tragedy, I know it got intense, and sometimes I feel like such a villain for it (~crying in author language~). For a kid, it must be very though waking up from an accident and listening "So... Your father is in a coma. We don't know if he'll wake up or no. He can live but he can also die suddenly, be prepared." And then you wake up everyday hoping your father will wake up but he didn't and you get nothing instead of a fake hope that the next day will be different... You are unsure if he's going to live or die. You didn't lost the person, but you lost its presence, voice, bad jokes, caring, etc. However, you still don't want to lose hope. So, for Jason kid it was like "I'll do my best everyday so when papa wakes up he'll be proud of me :D"

I decided to put Jason's father (I named him as Gregory) through a coma when Jason was a kid for two main reasons: 1) Give Jason a motivation and 2) don't make him deal with "taking care family matters out of the blue" once he was too young.

> That leads to his uncle (named Viktor) accompanying Jason's growth and teaching him everything about the family business, being a leader and etc. Of course Viktor had an aggressive method once Jason father's part of the family is crap and cruel (as I shared on this post).

Despite growing up with his uncle filling his head with nonsense about love being a weakness and such things, young Jason didn't want to be bitter and iced-heart like that. (Yep, he was a hectic kid but that doesn't mean he was evil, he just liked to have fun messing around.) He remembered his father being kind and gentle, almost as if he wanted to break the tough mold of the family. But later Jason faced many disappointments because, being from a wealthy family, (BTW, I got kinda sad when Jason said they were not rich in the EP 5, but now that's done and I don't regret describing his family the way I did once we didn't have any information hehehe) many people around them were fake. He also suffered bullying for being skinny, so... All of those bad things led him to think around the age of 16-17: "Well, there's no other way. When I'm not at home I'll have to put on this mask that my uncle taught me so others won't walk all over me."

However, internally Jason still held hope that Gregory would wake up someday and... Within his good heart, there was the desire of wanting to make his dad proud ~if he woke up~ Jason had as a kid > it still remained there in his mind, so he gave his best effort in everything they put he to do back that time. But at a certain point there was so much pressure on the poor boy that he ended up having a breakdown. 'Do this' 'Don't do that' 'Be perfect' 'Get good grades' 'Blah blah blah'... At the age of 18-19 Jason found himself having like those "I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" moments of life LOL 🤣 He never really liked everything the Mendal stood for, anyway. He always found it a drag to attend luxury dinners, close deals and pretend to be someone he wasn't… Jason ended up becoming a rebellious young-adult despite being studious and dedicated to his goals.

And then things got worse when Jason was near his 20-21 years old: his father sadly woke up in a minimally conscious state. (So: today his father is not dead, but he's not "living" as well. You know? When someone is awake but can't talk, move, etc. sometimes the person can exhibit limited and inconsistent responses to external stimuli, but that's all.) I think that was the "breaking point". Jason got deeply disappointed: He felt like everything he had done in his entire life was for nothing. As a result, the dark-haired began to exhibit dysfunctional behavior, skipping work at the family company, arriving late etc, etc. Viktor took advantage of this moment of weakness and convinced the board/the general council that Jason became irresponsible, went off the rail and therefore was unfit for any leadership position and would never be good enough to take the vice president or president's company role. That made our hated beloved protagonist really angry, it felt like a big betrayal for him. Following that, in a fit of impulsivity, Jason had those moments of "'Fuck you guys. I don't need you idiots. My family sucks and I'll prove them that I can make it on my own without using my father's name.' And that's why he resigned from his position and began working on something else, which would later culminate in the founding of Goldreamz. (Fortunately, this was the moment he decided to start seeing a therapist again, for our sake's.)

Well... I gave you too many spoilers of the fic already, so, basically: Jason��s past sucks and his journey in my point of view is intertwined with themes of redemption, ambition, growing and a desire to protect those he cares about besides his own heart ~which he chooses to not open up with random people. He's not an asshole/jerk, but he decides consciously to behave as if he is one because a bunch of internal reasons. (His therapist is still trying to work on that btw 👀) Jason only shows his truly self when he with his mom, brother, close friends and some of his mother's relatives. (And hopefully, near Candy... As time goes by and they fall for each other) Selective behavior, ya know? It is common for people undergoing therapy to selectively share their true feelings and thoughts with a trusted inner circle, while emotionally protecting themselves from others. Besides, we must remember that therapy is a long and sometimes non-linear process: Jason may resist complete changes, preferring to maintain a protective behavior while slowly working on his internal issues. Jason does not intend to change it, actually. He's happy with only the people he cares about knowing who he truly is... He's like: "bitch, I don't care" about the others. 😅😆

With all of that said: I can’t wait to delve deeper into Jason's motivations in my upcoming chapters, exploring the intricate web of personal and professional stakes that drive Jason’s actions. 🤭 Stay tuned for more revelations and twists 🤪

If you’ve been following my fanfic, let me know your thoughts on Jason’s development and how you think his backstory ties into the larger narrative. And if you’re just catching up on the game itself (MCL New Gen), what do you think of the latest episode? Let’s discuss!

If you're not following my fanfic, I recommend you read this post first 😅 Thank you all for supporting my work and crazy ideas 💖

[mikuni14]

We Are - Ep 6, Only Boo - Ep 5

Perhaps because of I Cannot Reach You, which I watched on Saturday, my view of We Are and Only Because this week was more harsh and less forgiving than usual 😭

We Are My biggest problem with We Are is that this show has no substance when it comes to romance. NONE. Seriously, it's more "meaty" on friendships than romance 😄 EVEN if a couple falls in love with each other at first sight, even if the couple starts their relationship with strong attraction and sex, for the romance to be interesting and engaging, we as viewers must observe some development, progress in the relationship. This is some form of journey for lovers and we accompany them in it. We Are, with the exception of Q and Toey, doesn't show relationship development at all. Tan and Fang have had about 3 scenes together so far, involving giving each other snacks and one scene of helping with a project. We know NOTHING about Fang. And suddenly in this episode, Tan proposes dating and Fang accepts. Where did this come from? Since when has Fang been in love with Tan? Is he in love with him? Their relationship… like what? Where?? When???? I have no idea what's going on with Chain and Pun (will they even be a couple?), especially since Pun suddenly has a great relationship and better chemistry with Mick. Regarding Phum and Peem: I just can't stand the way Phum behaves towards Peem, it's FUTS all over again, i.e. a rich and handsome but dumb guy doesn't know how to talk to his crush and comes up with complicated plans that always somehow humiliate said crush. The way Peem was waiting for him at the pool in this episode, AGAIN, while Phum was gaming with his friends… it pissed me off so much! And this "being a slave" is still treated so… normally and it is shown as something funny and romantic, as if Peem had no sense of self-worth and it was still a form of "fun" for him, and when he screws up and Phum is still nice (as in the food scene), then it is something positive for him. Well, unfortunately this is not my kind of romance, there is NOTHING cool or romantic about it for me and in real life Phum and Peem would not have a chance to be together. Their romance is ENTIRELY based on the oldest tropes, i.e. falling on each other and suddenly being close. Normally I love this closeness, when the characters are lost in each other's eyes and the sudden closeness makes them feel dizzy 👌 But this is literally the basis of their relationship, not one of the many things that make up romance. My beloved @miss0atae described the character of Phum in a very interesting way in this post and I also have the same thoughts. But the series completely screwed up on this matter because this thought occurred to me after his one sentence at the end of episode 5, because Phum simply acts like an ordinary asshole, his behavior was devoid of nuance and context so far. And that's the problem with We Are: this show has potential and, most importantly, it has the TIME to delve into each of its characters, including showing Phum as someone who is lonely and has trouble establishing romantic relationships, which is why he behaves stupid (for which he should face consequences). How unfair it is that Gray Shelter had material for a full season and crammed it into 5 short episodes, and We Are has SO MUCH TIME and can't use it. How much more interesting would the relationship between Phum and Peem be if they met under bad circumstances that would make them dislike each other, but also if they felt attracted to each other due to their expressive and strong personalities, all laced with the fact that they are both young, hot and each other's type 😉 I would love to watch their relationship in which they both mature, discover new feelings and needs, in which their prejudices are tested, in which they make mistakes and apologize, thanks to which they develop. How much more this kiss would feel deserved, long-awaited, important.

Only Boo I love Moo, I love Kang, I don't like forcing feelings on someone, I don't like putting pressure on someone, I hate love serenades, and I HATE love triangles. I know, I know, the series is silly and fun, and not that deep 🤡 I'm just being grumpy.

But maybe it's actually I Cannot Reach You's fault. I should take a 2-week break from watching BL series after every 10/10 drama lol

[verybigvag]

Harmony

Teenage mutant ninja turtles

Summery

After everything that happened; even if they are no longer enemies, there are unresolved issues lingering in the air between them. Little did Karai and April know this conversation was inevitable. It's what they needed.

This would theoretically take place after season 4, ep. 16: Broken Foot and before ep. 17: The Insecta Trifecta.

This is my first fic ever and I'm pretty nervous about it as I've wanted to write fics for years but this is now me taking the first step. To anyone who happens to read this, I hope y'all enjoyed it. I would like to do more fics going forward but I can't say they'll be immediate though. Also I would like to get into other fandoms besides TMNT. Anyway, thanks again if you read this, I hope to be back here again soon.

Posted on my AO3, feel free to subscribe to me there! 2k+ words

~

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Karai disrupted the tense silence like a rock shattering glass. There was a soft ringing in April's ears as the words echoed, her body could only stiffen awkwardly. She knew the brevity of speech would come to an end, but the words chosen almost seemed unwarranted… Almost.

April looked off to the distant sky line of towers and skyscrapers as she sat on the concrete edge. Initially unable to find the intent to face karai, but when the redhead finally forced herself to look over her shoulder, the fellow Kunoichi gazed to the right of them; unwilling to make eye contact.

“uhh, why do you ask?” When finally replying back, she made sure her tone was as simple as possible.

Even though it happened almost a long time ago, negative feelings were heavily associated with their first interaction. April always told herself she'd grown past it, Learned from it (which was true of course) she remained resentful; but worst of all, scared of the new enemy. Now with more than just the Kraang to worry about, splinter decided it would be best for April to remain in the sewers for her protection. It wasn't what she wanted but it was the best way to protect her. She’d spent so many nights, training sessions and moments alone, internally questioning her defensive abilities, how it wasn't enough and she hated it.

The quietness rang longer than expected, but finally a deep breath broke free from karai. “I never… apologized for that.”

That wasn't too bad of a start, it was better than nothing after all and it definitely had April paying attention now.

“I was so focused on my vendetta, I never thought of-” it was like the words were caught in her throat.

“I never thought how wrong I could've been but to find out I was raised with a lie like that.”

“You mean about your mother…”

The words reigned with sympathy, enough for Karai to finally look back at her and nod.

“Yeah.” It was the truth after all. Both shared a similar pain in their gut.

Neither knew where to go from here. April had given in to the strain on her neck and faced back forward, Leaving karai no choice but to take the first step forward. It was only a few short feet needed to make it at the ledge and awkwardly setting herself down right beside April; both immediately tensing at the now occupied space.

Who knows why Leonardo would set these two on patrol together, one would think he'd be more interested in partnering himself with Karai but it really doesn't matter now.

They weren't on bad terms, good might as well a fine word at best. Just acquainted if anything. Weird isn't enough to describe the allyship given the familial relation karai had with the turtles, Splinter and to an extent, April. Realistically a stranger shouldn't know the nuanced details of what life was like before what became of Karai, yet April did. Now they're alone.sitting on this cold ledge together, contemplating the day at murakami's shop.

“You know…It's not your fault,” April started.

It's almost like she deflated; ready for the wind to drag her away, but she persisted.

“s-some things are just beyond our control.”

Giving comfort to others was something April didn't do much, especially people she didn't know but what else was there to be said, especially now?

Karai could only give April a questioning look, hazel eyes scanning the reluctant face.

“I see…” Everything was still as she soaked up the words, It sounded like something splinter might say. Just the thought of him made her smile.

Life is strange like that. To think of the events that lead to our current point in time, even if we weren't involved directly.

“I suppose you're right.” Karai sighed “To be honest, I wish I had more control of things.”

“...me too.”

While there wasn't much said, it felt nice for both of them to know they weren't alone in their stances. There was an odd comfort found in it.

April took this moment to lose herself in her memories. Going back again to that day, being chased and cornered. She almost lost, could have been taken but by sheer luck, found an opening. An opportunity to take advantage of. “When you told me those things, I didn't know what to think. I don't think I'm special-”

“Wait, I don’t-”

“Karai let me finish?” The raised tone caught them both off guard. April paused to compose herself, taking a deep exhale before apologizing and continued.

“I didn't want to be special. I just wanted my life to be- in order… I just wanted my dad back. I lost my mother, I didn't wanna lose him too.”

This admission wasn't surprising but Karai's irises dilated for a moment, catching her off guard just like the first time she heard the confusion. That pain of being tumbled down the metro stairs seemed to shroud her once again. Given the situation Karai never held that against April, she was only protecting herself. Like she always had to.

“It's stupid, I know.” An exasperated groan left April's life as she massaged her Temple, believing the self deprecation would alleviate any embarrassment she felt after her statement, but she was thankfully met with reassurance.

“No, it's not.” Karai began, her voice the softest it's ever been.

“You were the center of an alien conspiracy, protected by mutants, trained by a great ninjutsu master, and now a kunoichi for one of the possibly last Ninja Clans left in the 21 century. That's pretty Stupid if you ask me.” only a jaded smile remained on Karai lips.

There’s an angst that settled in the air between that lasted just for a moment.

“Oh, my god you're right.” April’s hand went to trap the erupting chuckle, instead a soft muffle was heard. It was so silly after all. To think of everything that happened, it was a lot for one to deal with. It was a Marvel to think April was still here on earth. To have this moment of peace, and it was so nice. So, so nice.

For once, everything felt so still, so calm. Tranquility seemed like a rarity nowadays.

The turtles, April. Karai. They had more in common than they'll admit. The way a single man who’s obsession burned like a scorch from the sun, to affect them the way it did. Yet nobody ever wanted to talk about it, how could they? It seemed easier to forget and to just live on. The only time it was ever brought up was a private moment between Karai and Michaelangelo.

He was always so thoughtful, open-minded and emotional, and even angry under his chill and bubbly front. It was genuine of course but Mikey couldn't help but let down his guard, especially for his sister.

It was a brisk conversation. There were some things she couldn't answer for him but he understood that. At the end Mikey had given karai and hug so friendly, tight and caring; it almost made her uncomfortable but it was just how he was and she was ok with that. Never had everyone been so overly affectionate with her in such a manner, or affectionate at all for that matter.

It was different being here with April, watching her hold back laughter from a snarky comment. Karai didn't really see the humor in it. Maybe it was just a way to cope, to find the sense of comedy in those unforeseen circumstances. Unfortunately she didn't laugh much, or nothing could make her laugh like how another person would.

“Is it really that funny?” Karai’s head tilted in confusion.

“No…but yes?” The last remaining chuckles seeping out of April, giving her lungs room to breathe.

“I don't know, but I think so anyway.”

“I see.”

As the silenced peck, both only made eye contact and gave reassuring smiles. It gave them each other time to really study the other's face.

Karai finally realized just how large and blue April's eyes were. A deep hue that was uncommon, almost a little strange to her. Especially with bright ginger hair to contrast. Some couldn't help but think of the logistics of it.

“I just have to ask, do you ever think about…this?” Karai motioned her index finger in a circular motion, indicating at April's bust.

“What- y-you mean me?” A now confused April, her tone almost offended.

“No? I mean your whole, red hair and blue eyes…you're the only person I meet with recessive traits like this.”

“R-right…yeah.” It took a few seconds to understand what she meant. Genetics talk wasn't something she ever partook in. Except with the one exemption when Donatello explained how rare her gene combination was. She had already known how uncommon her hair type was but it made her head spin to realize the rarity of her gene combination.

“I've heard that alot.” April fingers began to fidget with each other as one of her thumbs began to rub against the leather of her suit.

“how people would assume both my parents were redheads. My dad was a ginger. My mom is the one with blue eyes…”

Karai’s face had fallen, but it was noticeable for anyone to notice. The way it seemed to be a sore subject for them both. At this moment though, there was a new interest, a curiosity in each other that extended beyond just them.

“What was she like? If you're ok to talk about it I mean.”

“Oh, it's ok…it's just- I never really knew her. I was really young but I have some good memories.” Off-putting ones she'd rather not reveal either, perhaps a story for another day.

“Even if I didn't know a lot, I still love her, I miss her and I feel maybe…it's wrong to feel that way with how little I knew her.” There was a heavy swallow from April, she closed her eye’s to deeply inhale. An attempt to stop the heavy weight in her irises.

“It's not wrong.” Karai interjected, a new sadness in her that she made sure to tame.

“I never knew mine. she di-... She was killed when I was only a few months old.” The correction in words seemed like an unusual thing to correct but it meant something to Karai. A truth she wished for soon but now, there is no need to hide what really happened.

“I can't help but think about her often. Wondering. Wishing for what could've been..” She sighed.

“All I had was a torn picture that Saki let me keep. He'd never really talked about her, he’d just tell that she was ‘the love of his life, and if only she was here with us.’, A truth to cover twisted lies really.”

April had given up trying to remain disciplined and let her eyes water. She's heard the story from splinter and the turtles, the first time even made her shed tears. Initially Yoshi was always brief and vague with his previous life, the implications were always unsettling to say the least. It made sense why he was always so distant, that isn't to say was not inattentive to his sons. Every parent has their issues somewhere, it's a given but truthfully Splinter could have been more emotionally available to his son's and in turn the turtles would have learned this, but it was never something to hold against splinter. Despite appearances, he's still human.

“I'm…I'm really sorry.” The words were crinkled as April attempted to wipe the watery residue from her eyes, even worried how she would be perceived at that moment but she was thankfully met with reassurance.

“It’s ok….well, ok isn't the right word but I think you understand what I mean. I'm sorry too.”

“Thanks.” April nodded back as she got the last of the watery residue from her eyes.

It was an unexpected thing to do. Neither didn't realize how they were now seated closer together; close enough for April to lean her head to rest on Karai's shoulder, sending a shiver up her spine at the physical proximity. She felt conflicted…or did she? It was hard to articulate how she felt about this. It was completely harmless but yet, karai didn't think she deserved this, the comfort.

Her lips pierced together as she thought about what to say, what to do. There wasn't a coherence thought in her head, it started small but now it feels like bees have somehow found their way into Karai's skull, a colony buzzing around as they did so many things at once.

Is this ok? Do I want to feel ok with this? Is April-

“Hey. it's ok."

It's like she knew the perfect time to interrupt Karai's headspace, making her chest deflate. It honestly wasn't hard for April to feel the other's rapid heartbeat. The swarming cloud that only April can feel. She didn't know how to help but the only thing that seemed appropriate was reassurance.

A weight seemed to be lifted from the atmosphere, as if the air became cool, flowing freely and Safe to inhale. Safe.

“Is this o-ok?” April asked quietly, but never lifting her head.

A hum rang from karai, letting her guard down just enough. Heart rate sinking to a steady place, and her head leaned to her right, resting on April's. Their shoulders connected, causing a meek smile to grow on Karai's face.

“Yeah. I think so.”

[thelaithlyworm]

so i splurged on the express airing of the last batch of tibetan sea flower eps and even managed to not watch them in one big marathon (i managed to keep it down to two a day). all done, all over. happy to rewatch!

final thoughts... like all the dramas, it takes liberties with the source text. they're weird books and adapting them leads to weird shows and it's all a beautifully chaotic mess. this one in particular was heavy on the 'who's narrating this story, and when, and why?' vibe that most of the stories get. i kept watching it having a vision of wu xie and pangzi, post-reboot, telling this story to a very wide-eyed bai haotian and gently eliding the more discreditable bits. *

the chemistry between wu xie and pangzi was so, so, soooooo good, every scene between them was just beautiful, and this version of zhang qiling was incredibly wistful. the way he was filmed -- his footprints constantly informing the present day -- worked well and was beautiful.

there were some interesting excursions into the history of the zhang family, which i'm going to assume are reasonably reliable to overall dmbj super-canon if with some notable ommissions from the novel plots. and i really enjoyed what the story did with short feng and zhang haixing. they're kinda... awkward characters, to start with? but i adored them both.

as often happens in dmbj shows, we ended up with a lot of subplots that boiled down to obsession, connection, desire, and they always leave me feeling wistful (in a good way).

lore-wise... i had several pressing questions which were not answered in any way (dragon-pattern box, what dragon-pattern box, i swear, the best info we get on the dragon-pattern box is in time raiders, where it doesn't even have a dragon on it.) also, some new and fascinating information popped up at various times and i'm going to have to have a good think about how it all fits in to the dmbj cosmology. (the title crawl. they filled in a plothole from vol. 2 in the bloody tibetan sea flower title crawl, good god.)

tl;dr: 🙏 thank you for the meal! 🙏

[spoilers below]

wu xie and pangzi getting up to the whole thing with marking out the bronze patterns in the big room and the thing with zhang haixing and the night king, looking at bht perched on a kitchen stool looking ever more wide-eyed as the story unfolds: and then, because we are not monsters, we put zhang haixing behind some rocks and faked up a sacrifice with a fallen animal corpse and our own teeth. yes, yes, that's exactly what we did. such a shame about the accident...

the next day, bai haotian to zhang haixing: ???

zhang haixing, thinking of how they could have described that bloodletting scene: uh... yeah. yeah, they were... perfect gentlemen. so, uh. so glad we're all friends now.

wu xie and pangzi: BIG SMILE

zhang haixing: BIG SMILE

also, i'm just going to have to assume that the snake mine was under jila temple and that's what yu da meant by "extra records", and the scene of reading more scrolls was wu xie's narrative fiction. for my sanity, that's where i assume it was.

[dojae-huh]

hi huh 🫶 so many good news happened in just a span of one day yesterday, the reaction on X is chaotic so your blog is my safe space!

i love jaehyun's new song! it showed a new color of his vocals, and his lyricism (though i'm not really fluent in korean, i can't say much about it) and the chance for him to be creative and do what he wants. it was nice and refreshing 💛

do the ever supportive "co-worker", posting about every neo solo on his ig each time. it's endearing 🫶 has become a thing for jaedo, they really do have a special connection hehe

nct 2023 announced a few hours after jaehyun's solo, which i would admit a very bad move on sm's part. though i'm excited really, with the return of t7s unit and the upcoming nct concert. but i do notice one thing - where is nct japan unit??

i did my basic google search, lastart will be around 5 eps and this week is the 3rd eps. So 2 weeks more and we have the final lineup for nct's last unit. and it's just right before the nct concert and album release, so i was expecting them to be included in 😔 i feel very bad for these trainees, all these fans doomsaying and planning to boycott any nct activities is just evil they're innocent :( the fandom, at least on twitter is a whole mess, i can only hope that nct 2023 is as successful as the other nct albums. i feel it's safe to hide behind ask and say about this, and i love reading your replies so i hope you don't mind my thought dump haha

i'm also curious about your thoughts on riize? i've been actively following them and they're really good!! all the boys seem promising and i'm shaking with anticipation for new content haha. they just had their first ig live last night, it's cute how shotaro was suspected as the leader since he's leading the group greeting!

link for group greeting -> https:// twitter.com /riizepics/status/1688883426659872768?s=46&t=m039VaKV8OZmu71_7XkSMQ

hope u have a good day and thank u for readinggg 🫶

Hi,

X is like a busy market where everyone hurry, shout and shove others with their elbows, meanwhile small blogs are like bars with regulars.

I can't say much about Jae's lyrics as well. As English is not my native language, I can't even feel how off the English parts are.

Many pop songs don't have intricately crafted lyrics, they just rely on words of association, a few sentences that vaguely paint a scene or describe a feeling, therefore, Jae shouldn't be much worse than the average male singer nowadays, me thinks. He does try to be poetic, describe love taking certain moments in daily life, states of "being/existing" as a starting point (spending time alone in a room, longing; daily life on the road; yearning after parting), which is nice.

NCT2023 album will be released in less than three weeks, there is little time for promotion. If the shops are ready for pre-order, it is time to make the fans know. It's inevitable that announcements overlap, NCTLab is a side project, like SM Classics, not a solo album. Sm moving to NCT2023 doesn't mean the promotion of "Horizon" has stopped. "Forever only" was included in several articles with best songs, there was a remix.

The MV has Mnet 2023.08.03 stamp at the very beginning. Seems like the MV was originally scheduled to be released earlier, on the 3d and not on the 8th?

Fans are quick to say SM does something intentionally to undermine their artists, when oftentimes it's circumstances and SM's lack of staff to properly manage everything. Which should be fixed, for sure.

Let's appreciate that Jae's MV was shot in Italy, has the boyfriend vibe that will give the song a bigger chance to take off, and not in a studio with a few hung lights like Moon Sujin&Taeil's The Moon.

The last unit is scheduled (tentatively) to release the first solo at the end of 2023. The unit need to train together, shoot some promotional content (like NCT LIfe). Quite possible they will start with a showcase in Japan to launch them. It is Riize' time now.

NCT2023 will have merch. And you can't make one for NCT Japan while the members are still unknown. Plus, the fans will hate the new unit for "riding on the coattails". They haven't earned the NCTnation concert yet.

It's OK. SungTaro were accused of every possible evil as well. A couple of years later the same fandom was crying over their departure.

Every NCT album was planned to be boycotted. Didn't happen.

Riize group greeting

I've checked Riize IG and the first track video, I will observe their debut. I have a feeling they will become like WayV for me: I'll tune in only for the albums and won't follow closely. The concept isn't for me. I have no interest in bands and the garage group aesthetics. Seunghan and Shotaro are the only attracting factors, the new members didn't pick my interest. I might as well just subscribe to a Seunghan stan acc to not lose the sight of him.

[sepyana]

Jjba Stardust Crusaders Ep. 21-24 Thoughts

I was gonna watch Ep. 25-26 before this but I wanted to make a clean split between the two parts. I peeped into ep 25 a lil bit and it has a new OP and everything. So it will have to wait for now.

Ep. 21-22

Absolute batshit insane two parter. I was gonna write Advol being alive in my predictions because surely if he was the crew would have more of a reaction? Well, I look like an even bigger fool now. How dare the narrative hide shit from me.

It will never not be funny how every 5 episodes or so we'll get an episode that's just Polnareff torture hour. Araki loves putting him in situations.

So... Fun fact! The stand Judgement is translated as "Mahşer" in the Turkish sub, which means bringing all the sould in one place in preperation for Judgement. I can't blame them for this, when translated directly it just doesn't sound nice to the ear. Finding an İslam equivalent is difficult too since there is a thousand fucking words to describe basically the same concept. I went to research for a bit and I couldn't find a concrete translation for it.

The stand itself is a fine interpetation of the Judgement card, I suppose. Rubbing a gold lamp for a genie trope is so overdone, it's abilities are cookie cutter. The design is nice, at least. I don't mind this that much, the episode is barely about it.

The whole time Polnareff is talking to Judgement you are just begging for him to not fall to it's trap. I like how they wrote this sequence. It made me feel upset but not infuriated, which is a common thing that happens in scenes like this. It's in character and it doesn't drag out for long.

Polnareff just accepting his death was actually hearbreaking. Poor guy.

Fortunately, he gets to live another day thanks to Advol BABY!!! You can just tell he was having fun. It must be nice getting to see Polnareff again. It's in ghe middle of a battle but, that's just how it be.

Guys, they put a fucking rainbow in there guys, look, gu-

Yeah this scene was the funniest part of the show so far. While watching I was like "They should piss in there lol" and then they actually did it. Advol was the one that said it too. "The nature is calling" I can't believe this.

And now we get to the part I honestly kind of hate. It turns out rest of the gang knew, all this time. The whole time they met "Advol's father" they were just acting.

They have absolutely zero reason for doing this, like, even Jotaro was acting there. They could have told him when they landed on the island. The whole thing is just so unecessarily mean that it feels out of character. Joseph even says "Calm down, there is no reason to cry" and look. I get Joseph being that inept and Jotaro not giving a shit but Advol? Kakyoin?? The whole thing is written as a joke so it never comes up again.

The first part feels as though it was written as if they didn't know. They don't slip up at all and their reactions seem geniune. It soured both of the episodes for me to be honest. At least Polnareff's VA's were amazing this ep.

Ep. 23-24

I like these episodes. They didn't blew me away or anything but it was good. It's especially good for some simple characterization imo.

The gang is planning to use a submarine to go to Egypt and we already know it's not gonna go well. If this keeps happening every other episode SPW foundation might stop paying for these. I wouldn't blame them.

We finally get to see Suzie Q again, as indecisive as ever (me too girl). They called her effervecent and all I could think of was that stupid twilight post.

Personally, I think Suzie Q deserves to know about the Holly situation but at the same time Holly doesn't want that. I get where she is coming from but it might be the last time you see your mother. The charity even she is going to is sponsored by Smokey, in case you forgot this was a continuation of part 2. I know I sometimes forget.

^ I went in to check the manga just to see the artwork and wow it looks nice. Huge improvement compared to Phantom Blood. Makes me want to read the manga. I do love me some ink art.

I got a bit dissapointed when I realized this wasn't gonna be a closed space mystery kind of situation. I have a soft spot for that kind of stuff.

Our next stand is this... thing. Whatever the fuck this thing is takes the cake for the most insufferable stand. I have very limited knowledge on tarot, I can't see how her abilites connect to the card. She can transform and blend into minerals. It's not the most unique ability.

Not much else of note outside of a few Jotaro scenes, they show his personality well. He stands in front of the phoen for like a minute before givong the most obvious answer. He waits to be alone with the stand just so he can tell her he is gonna be the one to beat the daylights out of her. He sure is. a guy.

The second part is more interesting in my opinion. Look at this scene:

I watched this 50 times. Kakyoin popping up behind him out of nowhere. The fact that they do a 5 second bro shake perfectly. Their eyes going dark like this is the most serious they have ever been in their lives.

I love how the manga did this scene.

The second part has the gang working together. Silver chariot duels the stand to buy time. Heirorphant green holds the crew in place so they don't get hurt. Hermit purple pulls out the Priestess from Polnareff's throat etc etc.

Jotaro going along with Polnareff's plan for him to hit on her was pretty funny. They overdo it though, ending up in a way worse situation.

I like that Jotaro waits to "get crushed" by the teeth before breaking it so he can make it more dramatic. Kakyoin calls him a show off and he is 100% right.

I know some people hate it but I adore how Jotaro's way to solve problems is to just punch harder. Exceptional. Makes Kakyoin's line "She even outsmarted Jotaro." an episode before even funnier.

I am sleepy so I'm gonna edit in stuff later. Super excited for Egypt.

I think Polnareff creeps up on my favourite part 3 character spot more each day.

I have zero idea what's gonna happen next episode so no predictions. Sorry.

[blocksruinedme]

SMALLETHO WEEK STATUS: PENULTIMATE REPORT

(please let this be penultimate report)

Okay I have 11 hours to get these out in saturday my time zone and i am going to do it, or i'll take my me off and throw me in the lake (it's right there down the street I'll do it.)

You'd think they'd be done by now. You'd think given how many days ago they were first "basically drafted" they'd be done right now. But noooo, some bitch (me) decided the fic "deserve more" and there are scenes "they really need" and like fine yes I still agree but why can't they just be done.

Red Life fic:

the first three sections are about incidents after turning red than made etho go "huh" about joel. they serve their purpose, but currently exist mostly in the form i scrawled down on the back of another fic in my car after the dentist. I could def describe things more, add a little more reflection about their place in the double life ecosystem as they start murdering and burning

gotta make good kiss at end, and the last bits of lead in, and the little bit after

the main issues here is that i gotta go rewatch DL ep 4 from multiple POVs. at minimum i need pearl's pov of dying, and maybe check for some other people's reactions to joel's shit that are not in smalletho vids but in universe they would have heard. (if only i could shove knowledge of every traffic episode fully into my head, sigh. so much content.

so that's not too bad!

fuck me there's 36 [] around words i don't like/phrases that need to be replaced/etc. fml fml fml

LARPer au morning after fic

apparently i'm adding all this backstory, which means i got to take it out o the author's notes, which i hope will make it more appealing. it's mostly about the party that this is morning after, but it's joel pov and *very* focused on getting laid, he's kinda aware that a lot of shit went down for pretty much everyone else

i want to add a very quick awkward bit with joel asking jimmy about the party the night before, currently he's totally succeeding at making joel (who is very distracted) think he's fine. and it's not gonna get explained in this story, but i'm not setting up a giant mystery, it's just more of "joel missed some shit last night". if that upsets people... i'm sorry! i'm actually very new t writing fic but it feels fine? it's a 5k story, alluding to the rest of the world seems fine

then it's just, fuck holding my breath... 40 sets of []. many many many of them, when i have people look at them, they say "that's fine", and it's just me at "will i have a time to struggle for a synonym/rephrasing

Dear everyone who compliments my writing skill (which i love, keep on doing it)

i hope you are not comparing yourself to me. here's some reasons why i probably have a leg (several legs?) up on you

i am very old and have been writing in one way or another possibly since before you could write.

I legit used to teach sat prep in writing, i have been trained in this and made money on it

if you live like i do, when you are my age you will also have a pretty big vocabulary

i usually edit a lot. I get beta, i throw problem sentences and such at friends, i've gotten proofreading from actual professionals. If i published most of my first drafts, well. I might not get as many "well written" compliments (though i think my plot and characterization would be similar levels of quality, my voices not so much - i have google docs for the way people talks and go through my dialogue looking for places to change things. it's actually great. i could share it?)

it's wild that what is my most popular fic by 3x is the one that went from thought of to posted in <12 hours and thus had only quick editing. so, it's not alway from editing

i just never want anyone who doesn't have those things to compare themself negatively to me, y'know? That said I'm a hypocrite, I compare myself negatively to professional writers in other fandoms. So, do as i say, etc

am i avoiding getting back to writing? yes

back to joel talking about asking scott to help him get tarted up

okay one last thing, me being pleased with my writing - i am jumping between my early 20s larper au and my late 20s/30s burning man au, and i think i am doing a good job at giving age appropriate characterizations to similar version of the same characters. my 21 year old Etho feels 21 to me and my early 30s Etho feels early 30s to me. These ensembles are very much based on my own experiences so I've got a lot to work with, 60 year olds would be harder :)

[bossbutch]

umineko chapter 6 (first half)

or door chains and "wait, is umineko actually about being trans and plural"

after thinking about Trans Beato in my last post one of the early things Featherine (hi featherine) says is to describe new beato as An Egg, lol so in anje's reality every chapter is a bottle message and ep 5 (and 3 and 4?) was a Forgery, ok ok umineko the book tells umineko the reader "without you here i don't have the power to think" yeah i get it i get what you're putting down

so i thought battler figured out Everything but he really only knows love and what his sin was? or he figured those out and could derive everything else. i'm 99% sure it was his promise to sayo but also that kanon was the one mad at him, not shannon

ok how much does umineko author understand about DID. i'm not sure what specifically made me write that in my notes? i'll be up front that i am not plural and get all my info about it secondhand from autistic girlies. but like. i'm seeing a lot of what i know about it in umineko, which like the trans reading idk how much is authorial intent versus what i'm bringing to it. but umineko rolls out the red carpet for you to read into it "fun beato won't be revived" :(

sayo giving kanon Permission to Love is a conversation i've had with one of my friends a number of times YOSHIYA-KUN! google translate has kanon writing his name something like "good, question mark", i'm sure if i knew japanese there's a lot of meaning in how he writes it (kanon may be a boymoding girl but "kanon" is An Assumed Identity anyway. i'm going to use he/him until he says otherwise.) but can i trust any new information in episode 6 to be Truth or just battler's interpretation? i guess that's all i've ever had to go on

beato chick being all like "i gotta Live For Father" is incredibly fucked up knowing that that's probably what kinzo asked of beato the younger

so now chick beato is reading umineko, which is awesome. i wanted ch6 to jump right into Battler's Game but chick beato and anje+featherine commentary are fun side stories.

erika once again metagaming and battler using it as bait. we love an "i know you know i know". lol at everyone in battler's story expressing immediate annoyance with her

anje doesn't get why the servants need "magic" to allow themselves to love which means she must be way behind me and battler in understanding. but, with that said, why in top-level-reality would they think that they Have the power to marry into the family, but it can only be used by shannon OR kanon? going under the assumption that they're different people because the alternative is too silly to consider at the moment

eva-bea is back (in metaphor at least), and they reiterate that spiderwebs are bad for beato-prime but part of eva-beato's Thing. dunno what's important about that- eva beato is A beato, not Our beato. as someone with a controlling parent george's Thing with his parents hits hard. i feel bad for kanon because jessica clearly loves him Way Less than george loves shannon

anje says that asumu gave birth to battler when we know that's not true. is the anje that meets with featherine not seeing any of the purgatory stuff?

i know there's still a "lion" and a "williard" to be introduced because of the fighting game but they still aren't here in chapter 6

[while writing my notes i wrote "anje" and forgot what i was gonna say]

big focus on The Chains this chapter. if knox means that the chain couldn't be set from the outside, how do you make it possible. they could've been shot and staked through holes/traps but knox says that's undiscovered evidence. if knox 8 resolves anything not shown then either its hiding in the room (boring) or the room was never really closed because kanon cut the chain before battler arrived. but genji supposedly saw the door locked and with no sigil so he'd have to be lying too.

if knox Is a misdirection- that is, beato has used secret passages or weird devices or other unrevealed clues- then the amount of focus they've put on it is kinda silly. but what counts as a "clue that's shown to the reader" leaves a lot of wiggle room. like umineko isn't under an obligation to show the necessary clue in the same chapter as the puzzle or anything.

remember when rudolf told battler that he was gonna die soon? when was that. that was probably a big deal.

umineko outright says "pay attention to the romance sections" and idk if that's just a hint for The Promise To Sayo or something more

battler to beato: "i understand magic, so i'd be able to carry you off the game board, i think that was your wish". so is host-beato not just a representative of trauma but explicitly A Headmate to battler?

what's the thematic point of making erika Pathetic. [i'll write more about her when the episode is over]

Alright so there's only one Big Mystery in episode 6, and it's How Do You Get Battler Outta The Room. i'm writing about this no later than featherine tells anje to think about it for herself. "love" is the hint to the intended solution. -_- Erika is Not the Detective, so he could just kill her, but he would still have to deal with the standing red truths. could he argue Kinzo Exists This Time? he died before The Game Begins so i dont think he could be part of the setup. either battler doesn't know how eva and hideyoshi's Chained Room was set up (if it was set up at all) or erika made that setup impossible this time.

the two nonmagical explanations are "not a crime" or "not a closed room". he has to Leave The Room without breaking the tape somehow, so it's not a closed room. (on that subject, i love that battler's first idea for a game is "everyone fakes their deaths". of course he wouldn't want to really hurt them.)

if erika isn't held to knox's 7th (she killed those folks) then battler isn't held to knox's 3rd right? he could make a secret passage? or say that "no secret passages impossible for erika to find" just means erika missed it. but that's a weak answer, it's much stronger to create a possibility for someone to escape the Other sealed rooms to come help him. we haven't said no secret doors or search from erika for them. we do say "unbroken seal means no one has entered or exited" but that just means no one used those particular doors, right? if there's another means of escape it's all okay

in the second half of the chapter: gaap immediately goes through everything i just said. umineko is good, ya'll.

[old-type-40]

Major spoiler ahead for the recent Strange New Worlds ep "Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach". So if you're not blocking tags, look away.

Okay, with that out of the way, I'm left wondering if the writer of the episode thought it would be an interesting juxtaposition if we had the one father who was unable to save his own child trying to help M'Benga who's trying to save his daughter. But to me there's an ironic contrast in that you had an episode that borrows heavily from an Ursula K. Le Guin story on social inequality while failing to recognize an implicit inequality issue with M'Benga's actions.

If you can use a transporter to extend the lifetime of someone who doesn't have long to live (which seems to ignores canon and would invalidate a number of story lines including Amok Time - see below), who gets to use this technology to potentially save the life of a loved one? M'Benga has access to a transporter. Think of all the people who don't. What's to stop a Starfleet admiral from doing this with a loved one? Why are their loved ones more worthy than others? How many non-Starfleet people might be asking for their loved ones to be saved through official channels only to be turned down? How many times would these people than try to get covert help from someone who does have access to a transporter?

I feel like the writers behind SNW didn't think through the social implications of their use of the transporter in the M'Benga backstory. And really good science fiction writers try to think through the implications of any technology they create for their fictional universes.

Don't get me wrong. I like SNW. But I think in this one case they were trying to be a bit too clever with having this tragic issue for one of the characters and kind of fumbled it. And I certainly understand why there are plenty of people who like this bit of M'Benga's history and I have no issue with that. This post is by no means a criticism of anyone in the fandom. It's just my expressing a personal wish that the writing team had thought this through more carefully.

P.S. In case you're wondering about my comment about Amok Time, if you could really use the transporter as described in SNW, Kirk need not have violated orders to save Spock's life. Put Spock in the transporter buffer, complete the diplomatic mission, then head to Vulcan and rematerialize him.

[beepboop358]

Victor Creel Theories

(also includes ST movie DNA series: Star Wars)

Victor Creel is described as "a disturbed and intimidating man who is imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital for a gruesome murder in the 1950s." We know he will be institutionalized at Penthurst mental hospital, where Peter Ballard works, based on leaked on set pics.

There a few possibilities regarding his character:

He could be a former test subject with some kind of powers and a connection to the upside down (which would also follow the even/odd season pattern of a main character being directly involved with the upside down creatures) I think it's highly likely that Victor Creel will be involved with the mystery/danger in Hawkins in some way, and have a connection to the upside down. He could also be disturbed on top of this, and he could be involved in Eleven's storyline this season.

That he is not a test subject and is ONLY mentally disturbed.

He may be related to one of the already established characters. Most likely Joyce, and maybe Terry but it's a stretch.

Before I go any further into that last possibility, I just want to preface that this idea of an "evil father/grandfather with powers" could be a purposeful Star Wars parallel. The Duffer brothers have already paralleled and used Star Wars references a few times in the show:

In Star Wars, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and Palpatine is Rey's grandfather (aka the literal worst guy in the universe). A common theme in ST is abusive/bad fathers - that post here. Interesting...

Palpatine is also Anakin Skywalker's father, so Luke and Leia are both the grandkids of Palpatine as well as Rey is, but it's unclear if they are just force midichlorian related or actually dna related as well but I won't get into that here!

Luke and Rey are both force sensitive (have powers), so are Darth Vader and Palpatine; their descendants (kid/grandkid) have powers, and so do they (father/grandfather) The descendants use their powers for good, while the ancestors use their power for evil. Who has powers in ST? Eleven and Will - and they both already have this idea of abusive/bad/evil fathers: Will has an abusive father Lonnie, and Eleven has an abusive father figure Dr. Brenner "Papa".

So... Victor Creel being the evil/bad grandfather to either Eleven or Will and the evil/bad father to Joyce or Terry, would make a FULL Star Wars parallel to people who are morally good and have powers (Will and El - Luke and Rey), discovering they are the descendant of an evil male figure who also has powers (Victor Creel - Darth Vader and Palpatine)

If Victor Creel turns out to be the father of anyone in the show my bets are it's either Joyce Byers or maybeee Terry Ives.

If he was a test subject, its likely he went "crazy" with some of his powers and the government couldn't cover it up so they declare him mentally insane to get him committed, and he probably goes insane being locked away as well. Personally, I think he may be 001 or an early test subject, when they were still working out the kinks of the program, and I think he does have a big connection to the upside down.

The Duffer Brother's on s4: "In Hawkins a new horror is beginning to surface, something long buried, something that connects everything"....

Now let's get into the possibilities for Creel's storyline/who he could be related to (split into 3 parts).

Part 1: Creel could be Joyce's father

Based on Victor Creel's description as "disturbed" and that he is "in a psychiatric hospital", it could connect him to Joyce's bloodline.

There are several comments in the show hinting to this idea of mental instability in Joyce's family:

s1 ep.5: When Lonnie comes to visit in s1 after Will goes missing, Joyce says to Lonnie "No, don't look at me like that, like how everyone is looking at me, like I'm out of my damn mind" He responds saying "I think you need to consider the possibility that this is all in your head. Remember your Aunt Darlene?" Joyce quickly replies, "No, this is not that."

That conversation, although quick, is very telling. Lonnie is implying that Joyce had an aunt who was mentally unstable - and Joyce clearly knows about her aunt being unstable because she responds to his comment by saying what's she's experiencing is not that (the mental instability of her aunt)

s2 ep.2: Joyce says to Bob, "this is not a normal family", when he suggest moving out of Hawkins.

I used to think Joyce was always was referring to the whole 'my son got stuck in an alternate dimension with supernatural monsters and is now traumatized, and we were sworn to secrecy by the government' thing but maybe she is also referring to her biological family.

s1 ep.2: When they are searching for Will, one of the other police officers, says "Joyce is one step from the edge" and the other officer responds "She has been several steps for quite a while now".

If Joyce is related to Victor Creel biologically, and he did also happen to be a test subject, has powers, or has some other relation to the upside down, this could possibly have contributed to whatever kind of abilities Will has, because he would be a descendant of Creel. But Joyce does not seem to have any powers and neither does Jonathan. If they were related to Creel, it's odd that they both didn't get powers, but Will did. I've always thought Will was born with his powers, like El.

We know almost nothing about Joyce's past, it's never discussed in the slightest in the show, which I feel like is purposeful. We don't know Joyce's maiden name; she doesn't change it back after she and Lonnie divorce. Maybe the Duffers are saving Joyce's backstory for s4 (and possibly s5), like I think they are doing with Will and El's connection. Will, El, Hopper, and Joyce were pictured in a series of 4 tweets posted by the stranger writers, hinting to the main 4 storylines for season 4. My analyzation of this tweet here.

I think it's possible that Joyce's storyline this season could also have to do with her past- not just her searching for Hopper- but also more personal information about her. Perhaps we will see flashbacks of younger Joyce and maybe learn about her biological relatives.

Noah also said this would be the darkest season for Will, so this idea of being the grandkid of someone evil or disturbed could fit into that.

Part 2: Creel could be Terry's father/Eleven's grandfather

The only other person I could see potentially having a biological; relation to Victor Creel could be Terry Ives and Eleven, (because it would complete the Star Wars parallel mentioned earlier) but it's a stretch for several reasons, the main one being that Terry and Becky's father Bill Ives, died in a car crash (year unknown).

So for Victor Creel to be Terry's father that either has to be:

Her adoptive father OR

Her mother cheated and led Mr. Ives to believe Terry was his kid but her father is really Victor Creel, and Becky is actually Bill Ives son (which would explain why Becky has no powers)

Right of the bat it's interesting Terry's father's name is Bill. Bill is a nickname for William (Will Byers full name is William), and Billy's a nickname also for William... Hmmm....

Immediately after El is born, Terry is adamant that Brenner stole her child to use as a weapon to fight the commies BECAUSE SHE HAD SPECIAL ABILITIES - and she's completely right about everything. How does Terry know El had powers immediately after she was born? Because she knows she has developed some kind of special abilities from the experiments as well. When El goes to visit her mother in s2, THE LIGHTS FLICKER, just like they do when the upside down is near, but it's not Eleven controlling it. Her Aunt Becky says it's just the wiring, and Eleven responds: "IT'S MAMA. She wants to talk." And then we see Terry's NOSE BLEED, just like El's does when she uses her powers.

Quick side note about El's biological father is Andrew Rich: (It's revealed in the canon novel Suspicious Minds that Andrew Rich is El's father) He was a college student who got expelled from school due to protesting the Nixon address, making him eligible to be drafted in the Vietnam war, and he died in battle. Terry was involved in the Project MKUltra experiments at Hawkins National Laboratory in College, under the direction of Dr. Martin Brenner, but didn't know she was pregnant at the time. Andrew never even knew Terry was pregnant, meaning she was extremely early on in her pregancy at the time he was sent away, not even Terry was aware yet. It's also stated in this book that BRENNER HAD A HAND IN GETTING ANDREW EXPELLED SO HE COULD SEND ANDREW AWAY. The novel states that Brenner has Andrew drafted because he wants to SCARE Terry, to show her how much power he has over her life. There's definitely some history between Terry and Brenner that we don't know about yet.

If Victor Creel is in fact Joyce's father it's interesting that the powers seem to have skipped a generation with Joyce, and also one kid with the Byers, but if Victor Creel is Terry's father, no generations were skipped in passing down powers. ANYWAYS, this is all just theories and speculation since we have no actual concrete reasons to believe he will be related to Joyce or Terry.

Part 3: The possibility that Creel could be involved in Eleven's storyline this season does not rely on them being biologically related.

**One of the filming locations for this season is the Claremont House, which is RUMORED to be Creel's house and also "Vecna's lair" the new monster for s4 (unconfirmed) This is the house the Hawkins group goes into in the ST4 sneak peek, where they see the grandfather clock striking midnight. If that's true, there's a connection between Creel and the upside down and having powers, which could connect Creel to Eleven. The Duffers: "In Hawkins a new horror is beginning to surface, something long buried, something that connects everything". This thing "that connects everything", could be Creel's storyline (his possible connection to the lab/upside down/person in the show), because Creel's storyline also spans all the way back to the 1950's and before that, so there's our "long buried" part most likely.

Robert Englund recently revealed in *an interview* that his character Victor Creel gouges his eyes out, making him unable to see. Englund also mentions what it's like working with Millie Bobby Brown and talks about the first time her met her, he doesn't mention any other cast members in detail like he does Millie.

He's clearly working closely with Millie's character Eleven.

But why? I think Creel could be involved with Eleven getting her powers back, and her reliving her past. Once the government baddies realize El has no powers, they're gonna want them back. If Creel was in fact a test subject, maybe there is some kind of connection between them, Such as Eleven revisiting what happened to her in her past and how that could relate to her getting her powers back.

Another thought I had was that perhaps the gruesome murder he committed is somehow related to something that ends up impacting in Eleven's life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever Victor Creel's storyline is, it will be an important one, and it will carry somewhat into s5, since he will be a returning character. He is not signed as a series regular, but as a recurring character, which means we don't really know to what capacity he will be in s5. It could be flashbacks mostly, or he could have just as big or small of a role.

Source: indie wire

That detail about eyes being gouged out reminds me of fear street 1666 when the townsmen who was sacrificed to the devil becomes possessed and gouges the kids eyes out. Leigh Janick, director of fear street, is married to Ross Duffer. They both direct and make horror/sci-fi themed series about kids in a small town set in the 80's, who fight supernatural evil with a heavy undertone of queer themes, that are even filmed in a lot of the same locations (the mall, the town streets, etc.) I'm not saying it's the same thing, it definitely won't be. But there's so many similarities between ST and Fear Street, I thought I would mention this as another.

[madeofcc]

1, 2, 13 for the storytelling asks!

Aaaaah Nik ♥ I love you for sending these ask, thanks a lot. I'm going to answer that for Destiny Harbour serie as it's my main project.

1/ what’s the last screenshot you’ve taken for your story?

it's not really for the story itself, I thought about making my new main but still hesitating so I don't know. I still didn't take any DH2 screenshots that haven't been posted on ep 0 but I'm working on it so it might start sooner than I thought !

2/ describe your story in three words or less

Occult inclusive mess :)

13 / from basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you?

If basic planning is the idea of the story/post well it can take me years as I wrote the entire plan for the entire 5 seasons, I know where I'm going. I like to work on editing after I wrote the main script first. The script isn't super detailled but it is in my mind, it's mostly what you read with the post with just dialogue and few indication about what's going on around. This can take few hours, a day or more, even weeks if I'm uninspired. After that I have to make the lots and sims prepared (I usually like to prepare the lookbooks in advance as I know what scenes are coming) which usually takes a week or two depending on my computer and motivation and then I start the editing process with the pose using in game that takes around 2/3 hours each evening when I start. I try to take all the screenshots I need for a full chapter which is around 30 screen, I take a bit more so I can choose which angle looks better. Then there's the editing process that doesn't take me a lot of time as I don't edit my stories heavily, but I want to try new things so it might take me more time this time ^^ So let's say that it usually takes me around 2 months with a 2/3h daily session to usually make DH. It takes more time if you include the posting time as well though.

Honestly, I feel like this has become like a second job as I'm working on it at least an hour or two every day I think. I took a weekend off last weekend and felt guilty a bit because I didn't work on my story but we all need to rest a little so I try not to stress myself too much over it either, it's not like I'm making millions with it and I know that my readers are patient enough and have plenty of awesome stories to read around here (yours is still in my top 3, even top 1 with the BK legacy) so I'm confident for what's to come.

Thanks again @xldkx for these asks ♥ I wonder how many time it takes you for Papercuts now !

[holyjareau]

imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well  . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

[seddm]

Even though this doesn't really match up with anything regarding "Wholesome Week", I would still like to hear your thoughts about a few things that have been on my mind for quite a bit. WARNING! Everything that I want to say will add up to one lengthy post, so I greatly apologize in advance. Alright, here we go! *gaaaaaaaaaaaaaasp*:

Long Ask after the KEEP READING!

1) Seeing loads of people in this fandom speculate how the episode "Starcrushed" is possibly going to involve a lot more shipping war fuel, considering how each of the show's episode titles have been quite literal in their content, what if that's also the case here, and instead the episode involves Star and Ludo having this big magic battle, resulting in Star finally managing to beat him, but not without the cost of both of their wands being crushed beyond normal* repair.

That’s definitely a possibility, since the show is obviously not afraid to change the status quo. Sure, I don’t expect the magical element to be removed from the show, it might be back soon after in season 3, in the form of another wand or a complete control on dipping down or who knows. Doesn’t sound THAT likely, since the wand is iconic to the show, but I wouldn’t discard the possibility either!

2) Considering how S3 will most likely continue and finish up any remaining stuff from S2, if a Season 4 was announced, how would you feel if the show during that time decided to go back to the more light-hearted and comedy based episodes like in S1, but this time taken in much more of a "Slice of Life"-esque direction? Specifically, the kind of "Slice of Life" that's generally used to describe the filler/in-between arc(s) episodes of "Dragon Ball Super".Me personally? I would absolutely love it! These kinds of episodes are not only a great way to bring back some levity after a great deal of heavy episodes, as Dragon Ball Super has shown, they can be used to explore more of the lore of a series (without going full-blown serious mode), explore more about other character's personal lives (perhaps Janna's or Jackie's homelife?), and even give them a chance to be in the spotlight (ex: Yamcha with the baseball ep., and Gohan in EPs 73-74).Oh! And it would also allow to give both the show itself and fans a bit of break from all those heavy episodes during S2 and (again presumably) S3. Because hey, after all that, I think most people would definitely need and enjoy a good break from stuff like that WITHOUT constant hiatuses (hell, it's partly why "Wholesome Week" was created, right? To bring the fanbase out of its angst because of the hiatus after Bon Bon, and give it some much needed levity?).

It’s a personal preference, but I’d rather avoid it: the longer a show goes on, the harder it is for every episode to be meaningful. So far, even more filler episodes such as Fetch or Star vs Echo Creek or Camping Trip, while not progressing the plot and lore at all, gave us important insight about the characters, and pieces for the puzzle that is their characterization. But you can’t introduce a new aspect of Marco’s low self esteem, or Star’s allergy to problems forever. So I’m in the team “Less episodes, more focus”. Note that this doesn’t mean that I want every episode to be about lore, magic and Mewni. There’s a difference between “filler episode that still adds something to the characters and world” and “filler episode that’s not even canon”.

3) Regarding the episode "Just Friends", since a lot of people are Starco fans (including you) and many of those speculate that the episode title possibly refers to a Jarco break-up, if that did happen, what reasoning would you prefer as to why they broke up?

It’s impossible to answer, for me at least, given how little we know about Jackie, and about what her relationship with Marco is going to be in the next episodes. It has to be GOOD, though. Something that either Marco, or Jackie, or both, are going to mature over the course of episodes, not just “You love Star more go to her” or poop like that.

Because a) Either one (or both) realize that they actually see the each other as just friends and not as a couple? Or b) Either one (or both) thinks it'd be better to stick to being friends not because they don't like the other person, but because they just don't feel comfortable being in relationships yet, but once they do, they would totally be fine dating again?Personally, I greatly prefer the second option. Mainly because while the former is the more common, and therefore, expected reasoning, considering that both Marco and Jackie are still 14 years old, the two are still pretty young and at the age where they haven't really fully "matured" yet. Having the two decide that it's probably not the best idea for them to be a couple at that moment and to just stick to being friends, to me, feels much more natural and believable too.Heck, even I've experienced something like that when I was younger, so it's not like I'm pulling this out of thin air. Plus, the former option just feels way too sappy imo, and for the love of god, I do not want to see this show become something of a soap opera.

This is, again, my personal opinion, but I’d hate the second option. While it’s definitely something extremely common in real life, this is a cartoon: I want relationships to be idealized, while still relatable. This “I’m not ready to date you right now but maybe in the future” feels a lot like something long-running tv shows do, to avoid closing any road.

But I agree, too much sappiness would be equally bad. In the end, I trust the writers, and I’d rather wait some more episodes before starting to speculate on it.