#but does she mean 'maybe... yes this must be unrequited love' about her not loving nana 2 back???

[13eyond13]

HOLD ON YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT NANA 1... WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[thequeenofneverland1]

James Potter///Love's Triumph

Anonymous request: I could request where James asks getting rejected by Lily and he try’s to ask her for the last time but she keeps rejecting him and it leaves James heartbroken but everything changes when the reader gets transfer to Hogwarts and James falls in love with her so James and the reader spend time together and he asks her if she would do him the honor of going with him to the Yule Ball and in which she says yes and and he has a plan of asking her to be his girlfriend and when Lily finds out she tries sabotage the plan but it doesn’t work so it with Lily being upset has she sees James and the reader kissing after she said yes of being James’s girlfriend

Warnings: unrequited love, but happy ending for James, Heartbreak, Emotional Turmoil, Intense Emotions, Emotional Resolution, mean and jealous Lily Evans

James Potter has been rejected by Lily Evans one too many times. He had tried asking her out countless times, only to be met with a no each time. It left James heartbroken and frustrated, wondering what he was doing wrong.

He nervously approached Lily, his heart pounding in his chest to win her over, but she always rejected him. Determined to give it one last shot, he mustered up the courage to ask her out more time.

"Lily, I know you've said no before, but please, just give me a chance," James pleaded, his eyes pleading with her to reconsider.

But Lily shook her head, an annoyed look on her face “Sorry, James. I just don't see you that way."

He pretends to smile and says, "it's alright, I comprehend. I won't bother you anymore.”

“finally.” She whispers as she sees him leave before walking off with a smile on her face

James quickly went to his dorm and sat on his bed crying. “Why does love hurt so much?”

“James, are you ok? Why are you crying?” His friends rushed over to his side.

He shakes his head. "No, I got rejected again by Lily.”

Sirius pats James’s back as he tries to calm his Best friend down. "Oh Prongs We know how much you love her but maybe it's time to move on from her.”

Remus nods his head, "she doesn't deserve your tears. You'll find your true love. Think about it. Perhaps Lily isn't even your true love. Maybe someone else is.”

He looked at his two friends. “You’re all probably right. Lily may not be for me. Do you think there's a chance that I will find or meet my true love?”

Sirius smiles "There is always an opportunity to love again. But anyway, I would love to continue talking, but I must fall asleep early. Tomorrow morning, I will be giving a tour of the school to a new student.”

Before he could ask Sirius about the new student, he was already sleeping causing him to shake his head. “Awe man!!”

“Prongs wake up!!” To wake up James, Sirius pokes him gently.

As he senses someone poking him, he growls “Just five more minutes!!”

Seeing that he wasn't going to wake up, Sirius decided to use his pillow to hit him. “No, you have to wake up now.”

"Ouch." He complains, “why did you do that?”

“I tried to wake you up with a poke, but you didn't respond, so I had to use my pillow to wake you up.” Sirius tells him.

He grumbles “what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be giving the new student a tour at this moment?”

"About that." Sirius smiles while scratching his head, “I was hoping that you would do it.”

He groans “Why did you offer if you weren't going to do it in the end?”

“I was reminded of my detention today, which I forgot about. " Sirius smiles a little bit.

"Fine, I will do it." He states.

“Thank you, Prongs. I was going to ask Remus or Peter to do it, but I was unable to find them.” Sirius informs him.

“You're welcome pads.” He lays his head on his pillow. “When is it?”

Sirius looks around before giving James an answer and gives him an awkward smile “in five minutes.”

He got out of his bed. “What? Are you serious?”

Sirius nods. “I apologize I was preoccupied flirting with some girl and became sidetracked, forgetting to wake you up.”

Quickly brushing his hair, he says, "Are you trying to get me killed? I bet the new guy is waiting mad once he sees me he will kill me for making him wait so long. Thanks a lot pads.”

"Don't worry, she won't kill you," Sirius looks down at his watch."You should get going, you only have two minutes left, and if you arrive late, who knows she might," he says, laughing.

"I'll come and hunt you so you can go with me if she does." He remarks before leaving.

While you waited for the person who’s going to give you a tour, you were walking back and forth through Hogwarts' corridors, lost in your thoughts. Suddenly You got pushed by someone out of nowhere, and you fell dropping your wand and books.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"As you stood up trying to gather your things from the floor.

James Potter, the mischievous and charming Gryffindor, bent down to help you collect your belongings. "I'm so sorry I’m in a hurry that I wasn't paying attention," he said, a sheepish smile on his face when he locked eyes with yours

You couldn't help but notice a blush on his face as you looked into his hazel eyes. "It's okay, accidents happen," you replied, grateful for his assistance.

He handed you back your wand and smiled. "I'm James, by the way. Are you the new student? Because I don't think I've seen you around before."

You nodded, still feeling flustered from the encounter. "Yes, I'm Y/n. I transferred here from Beauxbatons.”

"Well, Welcome to Hogwarts, darling and shall we begin the tour?” He asked, trying to hide his blush from you.

You gave a nod to him, who offered to help carry your belongings as you began to walk alongside him.

"Thank you so much James for the tour," you said, trying not to show how sad you were.

“If you ever need help finding your way around or want someone to show you some cool secret passageways, just let me know," he offered, flashing you a charming grin.

Your heart raced with excitement at the thought of exploring Hogwarts with James by your side. Maybe this collision was just the beginning of a new friendship – or perhaps

“James, can we talk?”A redhead girl asked while grinning, but she stopped and snarled at you when she saw you with him

"I'm busy, lily. Not now.” He tells her annoyed, but when he looked at you, he smiled

She grinds her teeth. "But it's important."

He rolled his eyes at the redhead. "Y/n’s more important than what you need to tell me.” He gives you a wink.

"How dare you?" Lily asks him, but he ignores her, making her leave not before giving you a glare.

As you watched, she stormed off, upset that James had chosen to stay with you rather than pursue her. “Your girlfriend's mad, you should go after her. I'm so sorry if I caused you any problems with her,"

"Don't worry about it, she's not my girlfriend or anything," he grinned as he shook his head.

"But she did seem really mad and also it seemed like it was really important what she wanted to tell you," you grinned in return.

He shrugs his shoulders. "She can continue being angry, and I don't really care if what she wanted to share with me was important or not."

You were curious to find out if something had happened between him and her, but you decided to leave it alone since you don't really know one other that well. Perhaps one day he will tell you.

You planted a kiss on his cheek. "Once, thank you for giving me the tour and for carrying my belongings."

He touched his cheek as he grinned, "Of course for you anytime and don't forget about that I told you."

You gave a nod before departing, and James, who is still grinning as he touches his cheek, makes his way to his dormitory. “You’re amazing Y/n your kiss made me want to faint but I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of you.”

"How are you feeling today? Remus and Sirius told me about what Lily did." Peter queries.

James was still deep in his thoughts about you. "Who’s Lily? and what did she do?"

Peter looks at him quizzically. "Lily, the girl that you loved and the one who turned you down.”

"Yeah, I still don't know who she is," he says, grinning, as he turns to face Peter.

Peter casts him a worried glance. "Are you okay?"

Remus and Sirius enter the room laughing and chatting, but they pause when they notice a worried expression on Peter's face. "what’s going on?”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Peter looks at them. "I don't know. I asked him how he was doing after what Lily did, but he answered with a. “who's Lily? And what did she do?”

Sirius glances at Peter before approaching James. "Hey Prongs, are you okay?"

James nods "Yeah, I apologizes I was just in my thoughts thinking about her.”

Remus furrowed his brow. "Lily?"

"Of course not, I was thinking about Y/n not Lily," James shook his head.

“Y/n?, who is she?” Peter and Remus both inquired at the same moment.

"She was originally going to Beauxbatons but she was recently transferred here. Plus, she's extremely gorgeous," James remarks.

“Is she prettier than Lily, or what?” Peter questioned, but Sirius gives him a small hit in the arm. "Ouch! Sorry I was just curious.”

Peter and Sirius are both laughed at by James. "I always thought Lily was the most beautiful woman alive," James says. “However, after I met Y/n, everything changed, and now Lily is no longer in my thoughts or emotions; instead, Y/n is. My present is Y/n, and my past is Lily.”

As soon as James laid eyes on you, he felt a spark ignite within him. He found himself drawn to you, wanting to spend every moment in your presence. The two of you quickly became friends, bonding over shared interests and adventures around the castle.

James fell hard for you because you were lovely, humorous, and kind. After spending time with you, joking and chatting, James knew he had to ask you to the Yule Ball.

With the Yule Ball approaching, James decided to take a chance and ask you to be his date

James and you came across a charming little flower shop. The vibrant blooms in the window caught your eye, and you couldn't help but take a closer look.

He watched you appreciate the various corsages. sly smirk playing on his lips. After a short while, he quietly disappeared and reappeared holding a stunning corsage. When he presented you the delicate corsage, you gasped with delight because it was decorated with your favorite color and flowers.

"Oh, James, it's amazing," you said, grateful as tears welled in your eyes.

He grinned broadly at your reaction and as you two carried on your trip through the village. James and you had a beautiful scenario as you walked through the snowy streets, illuminated by the warm glow of the winter sun.

He and you reached a secluded spot, he suddenly dropped to one knee, causing your heart to skip a beat. He took your hand in his and looked up at you with an earnest expression.

"Y/N, I can't imagine going to the Yule Ball with anyone else but you. Will you do me the honor of being my date?" He asked, his voice filled with hope.

Tears glistened in your eyes as you gazed down at him, your heart overflowing with love. Without hesitation, you nodded emphatically.

"Yes, James, I would love to go to the Yule Ball with you," You whispered, your voice full of emotion.

He gently placed the corsage on your hand, his fingers lingering on your skin as he secured it in place. The moment As you and him learned how deeply you felt for one another, the moment was full of beauty and possibilities.

He leaped to his feet, wrapping you in a tight embrace as the two of you basked in the joy of the newfound companionship. The promise of a magical night at the Yule Ball loomed ahead, and James and you couldn't wait to dance the night away in each other's

During the ball, Lily pulled you aside when James was distracted

“You know, Y/n, I heard James is only interested in you because he couldn't have me. He's probably just trying to make me jealous." Playing with her hair, Lily smirks.

Your lips curled. "Lily, I appreciate your concern, but I really don't think that's the case. James has been nothing but genuine and kind to me."

She faked a smile. "I'm just trying to protect you, Y/n. I don't want to see you get hurt."

You didn't really believe her, even if you were grateful for her apparent concern. However, Still, her words planted a small seed of doubt in your mind

There was a lot of excitement going on at the Yule Ball, and James and you were drawn into its allure. James was dying to tell you how much he loved you as you two danced together.

You swayed to the music, lost in each other's eyes, the world around you fading away as you were immersed in the moment. James's gaze held a depth of emotion that made your heart flutter, and you felt the familiar spark of love igniting within you.

As the dance continued, James's lips hovered close to your ear, and you could feel his breath against your skin. "Y/n," he whispered, his voice filled with tenderness, "I have something important to tell you."

Your heart skipped a beat as anticipation built up inside you. You held your breath, waiting for his words, your doubts and fears pushed to the back of your mind by the intensity of the moment.

"I love you," James confessed, his eyes shining with sincerity and love. "Since the day that I met you. You mean everything to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side."

Tears welled up in your eyes, overcome by the raw emotion in his words. The doubts planted by Lily's words dissipated, replaced by a wave of certainty and love that washed over you.

Your heart soared at his words, a warm rush of emotions filling me to the brim. "I love you too, James," you replied, tears of joy pricking at the corners of your eyes. "I've loved you from the moment we met as well,”

Overcome with happiness, James pulled you into a passionate kiss. Just as it caught up in the embrace, a shocked and upset Lily witnessed the scene.

“I can't believe you would do this to me." Lily asks in tears “I love you now. You should’ve waited for me,”

"I'm sorry, Lily, but I've moved on. I'm happy with Y/n now."

Hand in hand, James and you walked away, leaving Lily to grapple with her emotions. Despite Lily's efforts, James had found love again, and nothing could ruin this magical moment for him and you.

But for James, he was finally happy. He had found someone who truly cared for him, and he knew that he had made the right choice from moving on from Lily. And as he held you in his arms, he knew that he had found his true love.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

"Look, you hid in a place you knew, where you could feel safe... I understand the motivation."

Buddie fans... Sometimes I just feel tired to navigate this fandom, okay. Feels like it's always;

"Gay Eddie, gay Eddie, gay Eddie.... Oh no! They're now writing him like he really loved Shannon, I don't like this because then he's straight and buddie cannot happen!!"

Yeah umm... And why would Eddie's love for Shannon be any kind of threat to buddie?

Haven't we already worked on this equation before, guys...?

Ahem.

✨Bisexuality does exist!✨

There is no reason why Eddie can't have loved, can't still love them both:

Shannon and Buck.

Sure, might sound odd with how rocky the marriage was but let's remember that we never got to see the beginning of Eddie's and Shannon's romance, the magical era before their naïve, immature highschool sweetheart romance was hit on the head with adulthood problems.

Really, Shannon isn't a threat to buddie. Buck obviously loved Abby, too, and eventually moved on.

The thing is, it was maybe just a bit easier for Buck, to move on, since what Abby didn't do was know Buck for like half his life, have a child with him, suddenly abandon Buck and his child for umm years, then return and beg for forgiveness, then once she was forgiven... reject Buck's proposal and ask for a divorce, and then promptly die in front of Buck. As a nice juicy cherry on top of this already very well baked "bye bye mental health"-cake.

All of this might, you know, kinda traumatise someone and make the grieving process extra hard, and make regaining trust in people and love kinda tricky, and overall, make moving on a fairly slow, complicated uphill battle.

Doesn't mean it's impossible!

And yes I know, obviously Eddie romanticizes Shannon. That's what people who are grieving tend to do!

That doesn't mean he never loved her. Flaws and conflicts can co-exist with love, you know. I mean, I don't know about you guys but everyone I've ever loved has been flawed, and all of my deepest human relationships have sailed through some rocky terrain.

The love has been the most persistent passenger on all of those rides. I think some rocks I've sailed through with people have even made our love deeper. Because sometimes conflicts make the relationships more intense, make you get to know the other person a bit better, conflicts can pull you closer to each other. So yes, even if you happen to get close because you just really need to yell at their face... Well, what you're feeling in that moment is hardly indifference, is it.

And also, with the way Eddie has also been throwing heart-eyes at Buck, for years...? Before Shannon returned and asked for forgiveness, even.

Clinging to this concept of a magical romance with Shannon might just be Eddie's safe place to hide, his avoidance tactic, the way he hides most of his (seemingly) unrequited feelings for Buck from himself, and others.

Maybe Eddie thinks he cannot really love Buck that much... if Shannon is the greatest love of his life. To Eddie it might feel like it's just not safe to love Buck because loving Buck would likely just lead to more pain.

So that may be one reason why Eddie has been clinging to this idea of a perfect, magical romance with Shannon, one reason why we're hearing all this

"Shannon, oh Shannon, you are the love of my life, the only person I've ever loved."

Maybe it's because to Eddie, that must be true. It's how he protects himself from pain.

And it's also how he cherishes the memory of her. Because confronting her humanity, the reality of how troubled their relationship was... might mean letting go of her, and moving on from her, and that's hard because Eddie loved her, and he doesn't really want to confront the truth.

And the truth is that the fairytale is over, that she was in fact very much a human, just a person, just another mortal like the rest of us... Flawed.

And that means that she wasn't untouchable, that death really took her and she's truly gone.

[dragonologist-writings]

Title: Crushed Fandom: Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous Rating: G Status: One-Shot Main Characters: Knight-Commander Piper Chanterelle, Lann Additional Notes: Unrequited Love, Friendship Word Count: 1.1k Summary: Lann has a crush, and Piper tries to let him down easy.

read below or here on ao3

“I’m sorry, you want to what?”

Lann laughs nervously, as some of the gusto he’d walked into the room with deflates in the face of Piper’s reaction. He leans against the large table in the middle of the hall, obviously trying to appear nonchalant. “I’d like to spar with you. Come on, I know uplanders do that, too. I wiped the floor with a bunch of your soldiers. Now it’s your turn. I mean, you don’t have to- I’m sure there are lots of Commander things you’re busy with- but training is important, too, and I thought we could…”

He trails off, leaving Piper just as confused as ever. “Lann, I’m a bard.”

“Sure, but you still fight.”

“With a rapier, sometimes, and with magic. Hand-to-hand really isn’t my thing. If you want to train, I’m sure there are far better sparring partners than me.”

Lann’s face falls at that, and it’s the disappointment that finally tells Piper this is about more than training. He glances away and rubs at the base of his horns, and is overall terrible as disguising his feelings as he says, “Yeah, sure. It’s just- ah, don’t mind me. I guess it just seemed like a good way to spend some time together. But hey, you’re the stunning Commander of the Fifth Crusade. It makes sense you’ve got better things to do than hang out with a cave rat like me.”

Son of a…

Piper bites back a sigh, previous interactions with Lann racing through her head as things finally fall into place. Maybe she’d missed it before, but now, it’s impossible to deny: Lann is definitely carrying a torch for her.

She can’t say this is the first time something like this has happened- one of the downsides of being so devastatingly charming, she supposes. But the situation is a bit different now than it ever has been before. Piper can’t simply skip town and join a new troupe when her flattery works a little too well and things become a little too complicated. Besides, Lann isn’t some glowering city guard or rich noble asshole that Piper can butter up and string along before leaving in the dust. He’s not perfect, that's for sure, but he’s a decent person. Those are rare enough in this world.

The least she can do is let him down gently.

“Lann…” Piper moves around the table to stand next to him, thankful that for now the hall is empty. This is awkward enough without Konomi eavesdropping on every word. “Forgive me if I’m misreading things, but…is this some kind of attempt at romance?”

The bright red flush that covers half of Lann’s face is all the answer she needs, but to his credit he still tries to maintain composure. “I- Maybe. Okay, yes. Look...I like you, Piper. I’ve liked you for a while now. I mean, who wouldn't? And I admit this may not be the smoothest move, but…I want to spend more time with you. I'd hoped that would like spending time with me, too.”

Piper gives him an apologetic smile. “That’s very sweet, Lann, and I’m flattered. But you realize you’re not exactly my type?”

A shadow passes over Lann’s expression. “Oh. Right.”

Upon realizing how that must sound to him, Piper huffs and smacks her tail against his leg. “And not for whatever self-deprecating reason you’re formulating in your head right now-”

“Well, what am I supposed to think? Of course the great commander can’t have feelings for some scaly freak of nature-”

"Don't you try that on me, I'm a tiefling myself-"

"As if that's the same. And obviously it does matter, if you won't even consider a mongrel-"

“No, you idiot, I like women.”

Lann pauses, realization finally dawning in his eyes, and with a groan he buries his face in his hands. “Oh. Gods. Gods. Sorry, don’t mind me, I’m just realizing how much of an ass I've made of myself.”

Piper gives Lann a hesitant pat on the shoulder. She's used to attracting attention and breaking hearts; comforting people afterwards, not so much. “No, no you’re not. It’s not your fault. I just really am that irresistible to everyone I meet, no matter how incompatible we are.” She sighs dramatically. “It’s my greatest flaw, really.”

In spite of himself, Lann chuckles into his hands. “Are you sure it’s not your overwhelming humility?”

“Ah, humility is overrated.”

“Careful. You’re starting to sound like Daeran.”

Piper gasps and lifts a hand to her chest. “How dare you? If we were together, I’d break up with you for that.”

Lann chuckles again, and finally lifts his head. Embarrassment is still evident on his face, but now a reluctant smile tugs at his lips. “This might be one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever had. And that’s saying something.” He shakes his head and sighs. “But it’s not the worst, I guess. So. Thanks for that, at least.”

“Anytime.”

“And thanks for being. You know. Decent to me. I think maybe that’s the main reason I liked you to begin with.”

Piper is quiet for a moment, the smile on her face shifting into something a bit more morose. “Don’t thank me for that. I mean, I get it. But you should have some higher standards than ‘basic decency’.”

Lann shrugs. “In a perfect world, maybe. But do you see the freaky lizard guy getting approached by very many women?”

“See, that’s half your problem right there. I’m sure there are plenty of lovely ladies out there who would think you’re wonderful.”

“That’s hard to believe,” Lann mumbles, shaking his head. “But if you do manage to find any, do me a favor and send them my way.”

Piper nods solemnly. “On one condition- do not try flirt with them by asking them to kick your ass. Maybe they’d be into that, but it’s not first date material.”

Now it’s Lann who is mockingly offended, as he huffs and turns away from Piper. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. This would never have worked between us. Clearly you don’t share my discerning taste in romantic activities.”

“That’s for sure,” Piper answers with a smirk, and that's the point when she stops worrying about things becoming too awkward between her and Lann. So long as they can laugh about things, they're going to be just fine.

[regarding-stories]

A satisfying story about love: "My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected"

I stumbled into this show a bit unsure because of its title, but in the end it won me completely and utterly over, it's that good. It aired with the weak sauce title My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, but the original light novels released as My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected. This title seems just as wrong, but honestly, in the end, it fits.

(This series finished airing in 2020, and I will spoiler you. Yo-horo!)

I said before that Quintessential Quintuplets is not a love story because of the way it is structured. In a love story you can typically tell who has feelings for whom. It doesn't mean we get that particular ending or that it ends happily, but you can tell who has that significant chemistry and who is in love with whom. The story then revolves around the obstacles around the people and within the people that prevents this love from happening, and whether they can be resolved. QQ is a shell game, a pick-your-winner that has to play parlor tricks to resolve its main conflict.

My Teen Romantic SNAFU is a love story, through and through, and yet much more.

And it's absolutely wonderful.

A promise fulfilled

As I was watching season 1 of 3 it was clear to me how the story must end. I didn't know the way there, but it was evident what would resolve the story to satisfaction. While I was bracing myself for a possible cop-out or switcharoo ending, I always knew what was embedded in the situation and had a strong sense where it was narratively going.

Yes, you can play favorites for characters. Besides our protagonist Hachiman, we have two heroines, Yui and Yukino. And it's easy to simply chose on one's own preferences and say that that should have happened. I bet a lot of people have Yui as their "best girl," the one "it should have been." And it's not hard to understand why: There's nothing wrong with Yui, quite the opposite. She's an endearing, likable character. She's also more complex than she would get credit for. Her feelings for Hachiman are clear, she displays a lot of heart, and when the show concludes we will have laughed and cried with her. She's fantastic. I love Yui.

But Yui is not "it."

While Hachiman overcomes his hangups regarding Yui and his deep-seated paranoia, he never truly goes after Yui. Even after he basically knows. Especially then! Yui does not only wear her heart on her sleeve, she gets increasingly bold over the course of the series. Hachiman's relationship to her deepens, but it doesn't change. And you can see that.

It doesn't mean Yui can't make his heart race. This story is not black-and-white, and it acknowledges more than one kind of love. Hachiman loves Yui, he cares. And Yui might have had her own teenage romance with Hachiman if Yukino wouldn't exist. Maybe not as deep, but possibly fulfilled.

It's not that Yukino is better than Yui in any way. But Hachiman and Yukino are kindred spirits. They share a hurt, they live in similar mental worlds, and they are to each other someone who can see and understand. If anybody could get Yukino out of her shell, it's Hachiman. And when he does, it's clearly beautiful.

I was taken by surprise when this resolved in the second-last episode of season 3. I thought they would drag it out even further. Hachiman's confession to Yukino isn't clad in the usual words, but the words he speaks are for Yukino and Yukino only. It shows he understands - her, himself, and the situation they're in. It's infinitely rewatchable.

Love is all around

My Teen Romantic SNAFU is not only a love story, but a story about love in all its forms. It's about unrequited romantic love. It's about fulfilled romantic love. It's about loving your friends, as they are, and the bond you share. It's about the love of caring for someone's feelings and not wanting to see them hurt, even if it hurts you. It's about the love needed to be your authentic self and to find out who that is. It's about the love of a teacher to see someone grow to their potential. It's about the love of laughing together. It's about us as we fall in love with these characters, cry their tears with them, laugh about the situations they find themselves in, and facepalm as they do these notoriously stupid things people do.

It's about silly crushes and grand confessions. It's about becoming friends, staying friends, and the fear of loss. It's about being adorably awkward, hiding your feelings, white lies, near-admissions, walking back your words, and sometimes just letting them show and face the consequences.

In other words, it's a loving story of youth. And life. And learning who you are. About courage and cowardice. And being dead wrong most of the time.

Hachiman gets called to his guidance teacher in episode 1, scene 1, and the text he wrote that he is now in for is a cynical version of the outline of the whole show. It's usually a good author that can show their cards on page 1 and still keep you around till the last page.

And to me, there's no way to avoid the falling in love with all of it. I usually find denouement episodes to fall flat. Yes, we want to know how characters fare in the future and it's hard to let go. But the second half of the QQ movie felt mostly flat and pointless.

But the final episode of My Teen Romantic SNAFU had me on the edge of my seat for all of it, and I rewatched it, too. We get to see what Yukino is like once the weight is of her shoulders and she can fully give herself to her feelings. It's adorable and deeply satisfying, and a confirmation of hints we've seen before. We see Yui patch up their relationship now that the main conflict has been resolved. And it's convincing. We see it's not the end for them, even if it is for the story. And I can't get enough of it.

Stay friends forever

I know I'm already gushing, but the best characters are those that you cannot let go of. You suffered with them, you want to know how they fare. You want to see their hopes fulfilled, their pain healed, and their growth continued. You saw them overcome emotional hurdles. They may have felt real to you. Mere words on a page and colored patches and lines on a screen have become a person to you, you have identified with them, empathized, and followed their story to its conclusion.

And now they have to go.

Hachiman is brilliant. From experience I know that they nailed the cynic loner that has given up on connecting with others because of the accumulated pain. His pessimist worldview, his constant negative narration (and interpretation) of the world around him... I looked into the mirror in the past and that's what I was. Of course he's idealized. He recovers from pain quicker, he's more generous, and he's way too smart about people. You can be observant and intelligent and still you would never be such a master meddler. He is, after all, a character in a story. But his arc is true - he has to learn to understand the feelings of others, not just gain an outward mental picture of situations. It's rewarding to watch him, and it's painfully obvious that his road to growth has bumps and setbacks.

Yukino's story expands wonderfully. Yes, she's overly talented - academically excellent, well coordinated and athletic (but poor stamina?), and she plays an instrument and sings? Beautiful, of course, in the way the silent, deliberate type is. We also learn how all of that doesn't matter due to her complicated family situation and loneliness, and how her standing out also leads to her being ostracized and hurt. And this situation is probably realistic especially in Japan, where standing out is said to run counter to cultural norms.

In a package with her come her sister who is a meddlesome bitch and her mom who is even worse. And yet, they are not villains, nor even hateful. They are, in fact, quite strong-willed characters in their own complex situations. They may be, in a sense, be the most burdensome family someone like Yukino can have and a big reason for the shell she retreated into, but they don't have ill intentions nor are they bad people. They just follow their own head. And sometimes they just bulldozer over other people's lives in the process. Like almost all of the time.

We talked about Yui, and let it suffice she comes with her own world. She becomes a bridge between the popular kids and the outsiders, and of course a central component of the love triangle. Make no mistake, both Hachiman and Yukino love Yui, and they never let the situation escalate into open rivalry. Yui is loved, and that's why the ending works. All three central characters try to put the others first for a reason.

Then there's Shizuka Hiratsuka, the teacher. She's the idealized teacher that never grows too old and cold to not understand young people's hearts. She does not put bounds on the love she feels for the young people she guides into life (but of course she respects proper boundaries). She's also quite self conscious about her failures to maintain a relationship, and smokes like somebody who wants to die. But there's no way to escape her meddlesome charm.

It's in fact impressive how effortlessly My Teen Romantic SNAFU grows its expansive cast. The pacing thereof is flawless as we learn about each character through their story with the service club or in little scenes that eventually string up to a full picture. As they get their spotlight, they also get stamped with a personality and gradually integrate into other stories going forward. The story isn't even unrealistic. Having been ostracized for several years in middle school my circle of friends grew quite a bit in the final years (equivalent to high school) in spite of the fact I graduated with the same people that I went to school with since year 5. While some circumstance may be contrived for the sake of the story, it's not an unrealistic story. I see a lot of myself in all of it, even though it's idealized and things resolve too easily compared to reality. But that's permissible for fiction.

Odds and ends

As I said there are no villains in My Teen Romantic SNAFU. There are no irredeemable characters, there are no popular kids that are complete asses. Yumiko is mean to Yukino and can be quite bitchy, but she is observant and caring enough to warn Hachiman away from starting something with Yui as second best option. She doesn't want Yui's heart broken even more. Yamato is popular but invests a lot of time in not letting that upset anyone. Tobe is a glorious airhead that is more oblivious than an ass. Sagami fucks up the whole festival organization but she only tried the easy way out. Hell, Hachiman does despicable things because he thinks they are for the greater good! You can't finish the series and hold a grudge against anyone, really, and yet there was plenty of drama to go around.

Isn't that great?

There's even a character in this show derived from a light novel series that makes fun of how you end up being an author of light novels. Sick self-burn. (Nobody starts out great.)

There's also a refreshing lack of male gaze in the anime - well, for an anime. No shower scenes of the heroine thinking about her crush. I didn't notice any glaring shots focusing on butts (like Sword Art Online's bizarre angles) nor midriffs or women's skirts. The heroine is not blessed by nature's bounty but her insecurity about that is only showcased once and not constantly. In spite of it being clear that at the very least Iroha and to some extent Saki also have crushes on Hachiman, the story never devolves into a harem. It mostly binds people together in unusual ways. (Yui is the glue initially but Hachiman increasingly becomes the binding agent without noticing.) The good-looking airhead Tobe actually has a crush on the more normal Hina because of the way he feels with her.

Nothing is perfect, of course. The only person in the cast with a different body type is Yoshitseru, which is typical of an anime. (Except those trying to make a specific point.) The credits music wasn't especially good on either end, but the music underneath the scenes was always spot on. And since it is a love story, it has to find an end. But as a story of people in high school it should have progressed through year 3 because it's second major thread of being a coming-of-age story is obviously glorious.

I didn't even talk about the central love triangle that much. Just watch the show. It's a convincing story on several counts. Let the beginning unfold and trust the process. You will be rewarded. Over and over.

[berthemorisot14]

Chapter 6. Does he love her?

I also looked for clues for Levi’s feeling towards Hange in the manga, without much expectation.  Considering Levi's character, I would have been surprised if there was a sign.

In the beach scene, Levi gives a warning to Hange about poisoning, though.  It was the first time that he ever told someone to be careful over such a small thing.

“Don’t die.” That was the best warning that he ever uttered.

Hange being Hange, she doesn’t mind touching the seashell despite Levi’s warning, and Levi is not happy about it. While Hange hears Eren’s grim discourse, Levi stares at Hange’s seashell.  He seems to care.

Practically, our beloved Levi died by explosion. 

Levi became disabled and replaceable.  In this cold drama, that meant the end of a character, and I guess that’s what IH intended initially.

The reason why Levi survived is probably because of his popularity.  But aside from kiiling Zeke, he needed more raison d'etre (Zeke actually killed himself, because he showed up and anyone could have killed him at that moment).

The chapter 126 was released 10 years after the first chapter, and IH must have changed his initial plot along the way.

FF to chapter 130.  Rumbling began and the situation became much more grim. They now have to keep Eren from destroying the entire world.  They barely escaped the port after a battle with the Yeagerist.

When asked by Hange, Peak, another great character, says that she would serve as the late Captain Magat said. “I'd help you and do what I should.”

Hange was deeply moved (Actually she became close with Peak after the battle).

Hange utters “I want to ride on your back and feel your warmth”. This is very intimate, almost a flirt, which Peak immediately rejects. 

Hearing that, Levi calls Hange as Kusomegane, which he did not use for a very long time.

“Yet another love for a Titan go unrequited , I see.”

So much was lost in translation here, as many native Japanese fans noted. Connecting word (prepositional particle) in Japanese confers a very different meaning in a dialogue.  If what Levi meant was only “You have that unrequited love for the Titan”, he would have used a different language.

It is very difficult to convey the nuance, because connecting word dose not even exist in European language.

“Although you still have that unrequited love for the Titan..” would be closer, though. The following word is "you have mutual love with me". 

That is the first time that Levi said anything even remotely close to intimacy in the whole series.  Yes, he loved Hange (or IH intended him to). 

However, Hange replied,

“Would our colleagues be watching us? Would we stand tall among them? ”

She was so cold. She did not even face Levi. Maybe she did not want to stumble.  Maybe she was aware of her own fate. Rumbling is coming in in hours.

For the first time, Levi reveals his vulnerability by saying “Don’t say such a thing like that guy (Erwin, who devoted his heart by sacrificing his own life).” 

He was also faintly aware of their fate. He was afraid to lose Hange.

[historia-jaeger]

Eren really loves Mikasa? I questioned myselves.

It was always clear to me: Mikasa loves Eren, but Eren has no feelings for Mikasa. So I was surprised when the end came. As some have told me that Eren loves Mikasa, that wouldn't be anything new. You would have seen that if I went looking for fans of the ship who might have talked about their relationship and this blog caught my eye. It's in German, but I'll quote it in English. So enjoy reading.

Romance in Attack on Titan usually takes a backseat. Despite this, there were romantic undertones to various relationships within the manga.

Most of them enjoy the luxury of subtext and are far more complex to pigeonhole. So popular debates among fans are: Does Eren like Mikasa? Will Eren marry Historia?

SPOILER ALERT: Manga spoilers ahead. Go ahead, they're worth it! (Don't listen to me!)

Yes, Eren loves Mikasa as she is definitely the most important woman in his life after his mother. Despite this, Eren and Historia are able to marry - more out of duty and obligation than love.

2. Mikasa and Eren

For years, no-sayers have reduced Eren and Mikasa's relationship to one of unrequited love.

On the surface, it is very easy to fall prey to such a thought. Mikasa obviously seems to be in love with Eren since he protects her from the robbers. and Eren hasn't shown similar affection as in the countermovement.

The countermovement? I assume that what is meant is Historia. I find it very funny that on the one hand the writer writes, that Anti's think very superficially about Eren's relationship to Mikasa. But then admits that Eren shows more feelings towards Historia then her. But good. Let's read on.

For the first few years, Eren seems to resent Mikasa's maternal nature and hopes to move away from her overbearing shadow. While Mikasa just wants to be close to an unsuspecting Eren.

No. That is not completely right. Mikasa doesn't want Eren to put himself in danger and then maybe die. That's why she tries to either slow him down or protect him. And yes. Eren is annoyed about this.

This is also one of the reasons why this pairing or Mikasa is so unpalatable to some. Mikasa has total tunnel vision when it comes to Eren. She acts selfishly, puts others in danger and seems to only care about Eren's well-being. She completely ignores others. It becomes clear again in the dream, where she runs away with Eren and they spend his last few years together. Later more.

I. Mikasa's meaning

However, the manga also cements Mikasa and Armin as the most important people in Eren's life, especially when it is revealed that the Attack Titan's heirs are given access to the heirs' past and future memories.

This fact makes perfect sense when we consider Eren Kruger's quote to Grisha. "To save Mikasa and Armin".

It is later revealed that Eren was largely the reason for Grisha's actions to align them with a preordained event or what Eren's plan is. Therefore, it is very likely that Eren's drive is to protect Mikasa.

The emphasis here is on Mikasa AND ARMIN. But not only the two are important for Eren, but also the rest of his friends. If Krüger had only mentioned Mikasa, that would have been different. But even here it is not apparent that Mikasa had a special status by Eren. As a friend and adoptive sister, yes. As a lover, no.

II. Does Eren hate Mikasa?

It's Chapter 112, which oddly makes you reconsider its dynamic when Eren claims that he always hated Mikasa.

Eren claims that Mikasa's affections stem from her Ackerman clan awakening power that makes him her primary focus of affection.

I never believed that he really hated her either. To me, it looked like Eren was trying to get Mikasa to stop clinging to him and move forward.

Again, on the surface level, it seems like he hates her. But in chapters 120 and 121, Eren's motivations are finally revealed, and we see a tender or forlorn expression on Eren's face as he sees the memory of him wrapping the scarf around Mikasa.

His facial expression varies between neutral and sad, I would say. But by now he must have understood that she loves him. Of course you can be sad at this point, if you know that you have to leave this person.

This proves that Eren wants to free Mikasa and obviously doesn't really hate her, no, his motives are driven by a deep sense of love. One who is always looking out for her and doing what is best for her.

III. Eren's true feelings

Hajime Isayama claims that Mikasa's character development is her breakup with Eren. The scarf is a symbol of their protective relationship - Eren previously claimed he would wrap the scarf around her as many times as she wants, revealing that he always wants to protect her.

In chapter 123 we get a glimpse of Mikasa's perspective and she recounts an incident that defines their relationship. Before going rogue, Eren asks Mikasa, "What am I to you?". Eren's facial expression at the moment reflects how vulnerable he is feeling at the moment.

Yes. He's vulnerable. If Mikasa loves him, it will be twice as painful if he has to leave her. After all, he knows he's going to die. That's why he later wants to get her to break up with him. But that doesn't mean he loves her. But that means that she is very important to him.

In response, Mikasa nervously says he's family. She will check later if it was the right answer.

Isayama then shows a plaque specifically for Mikasa and Eren, who are sleeping with their heads touching after a night of drinking with the Survey Corps.

The Survey Corps' broader panel sleeps is tailored just for Mikasa, Eren, and Armin. This emphasis is not useless. Isayama - who doesn't usually show such moments - tries to convey the meaning of their relationship in this chapter.

We know that Isayama probably intended it that way too. But I still only see three friends sleeping head to head and the last moment together with Eren.

This clearly shows that Eren loves Mikasa - just not in a way that teenage romance defines. But as a love that drives you, a love that requires mental support, a love that transcends the trivia of puppy love.

IV. My Judgment

Eren and Mikasa have always tried to understand each other, but in this moment they reach an agreement. Mikasa's confession would have made it even harder for Eren to fulfill his duty. Therefore, her answer was the correct answer.

Eren and Mikasa's relationship was defined by their need to protect each other from the cruelties of the world. they really love each other

Isayama was always against the idea of ​​destiny; Therefore, it is unlikely to be an endgame. But whether they end up together is trivial to the story - it's what they share that stays holistic.

Their relationship has a deep complexity that combines family, love, mutual support, duty, sacrifice and development.

3. Eren and Historia

Eren's relationship with Historia was a major focus in the argument against Eren's love for Mikasa. There's a possibility of a love blossom between Eren and Historia, and it's not a far-fetched idea either.

Eren and Historia are two people who resent their role as "hero" or "good girl". They seem to have good chemistry and honesty that comes from their circumstances.

If it's anyone who really knows Eren's plan, other than Floch, it might be Historia. Both share the pain of their predetermined fate. Eren and Historia begin to bond after their kidnapping and then fans noticed the huge potential between the two.

Eren and Historia share a similar fate and, according to Isayama, also have the same character. Also, it was Historia that saved Eren when he was about to give himself up completely. That's why the ship has so much potential.

Their gradual friendship even manages to arouse jealousy in Mikasa. However, the relationship between Eren and Historias reflects a friendship between two intimates. That's not to say there can't be romance between them in the future - both serve as perfect candidates for potential love.

To define it more precisely. Mikasa got jealous, because Eren complimented Historia and she blushed. It seemed like the two were flirting with each other.

At present, however, it is unlikely that they would treat each other in this way. It's not Historia that drives Eren, nor is his love for her that eclipses anything else for him. She remains merely his possible partner in crime.

I'm sorry but I have to laugh. First of all I want to know where Mikasa drives Eren? As I explained earlier, she actually slows him down. And if his love for Mikasa eclipses everything else, why didn't he run away with her like she wished he would? This is complete nonsense. sorry

No. Eren could very well have carried out Zeke's plan, which was about keeping the enemies at bay with the Bricktitans until Paradise had upgraded its weapons enough. But that would have meant sacrificing Historia and he didn't want that. Because of her pregnancy, which was part of HIS plan, Zeke's plan was delayed and ultimately prevented. He basically became a mass murderer, because he didn't want to sacrifice Historia. And despite everything, Historia supported him in his plan. This sentence can be related so well to Historia and not at all to Mikasa... So she's trustworthy and understands why Eren is acting like that. Even if she definitely doesn't like it. In contrast to Mikasa, who thinks very much about herself and her happiness, Historia understands Eren's feelings and supports him in his project. Even if that means letting someone make her pregnant, even though she doesn't want it. You can see it on her face, before and during the pregnancy, that she doesn't want Farmer-Kun's child at all. And as we know, Historia is also in love with Eren, but doesn't show it like Mikasa does. What I think is that Eren doesn't really care who loves him. He would return love anytime. If Historia had clearly told him that she loves him, the scenery could have been the same, only with Historia instead of Mikasa. That's what I think.

I. Historia's pregnancy

The revelation of Historia's pregnancy and the final panel of a man holding a baby seem to have given more power to her shippers.

The military's plan to have Historia eat Zeke is the main motivation behind Historia's pregnancy. In all honesty, it's very likely that the father is Eren and not the farmer, but that doesn't mean that Eren and Historia are romantically involved.

The events that have transpired so far have shown that Eren is ready to do his duty against all odds. Historia's pregnancy is a semblance of this duty, preventing Zeke from feeding her.

There is no concrete evidence that Eren actually shows romantic feelings towards Historia and vice versa. It seems to be an exaggeration of their great respect and admiration for each other.

Again, Eren may eventually marry Historia if the baby is actually his, but it's unlikely to be for love.

Yes. The pregnancy took place to thwart Zeke's plan. And later we found out that the kid was Farmer-kun's. I think it's a shame, because I wished that part of Eren would live on. But good. It probably shouldn't be.

I wonder what kind of duty you're talking about. It certainly wasn't Eren's DUTY to become a CRIMINAL. He chose this path to protect his friends. And the point Eren might love Historia isn't the kid. He complimented her, she saved him, he doesn't want to sacrifice her. They share similar fates, they are of the same breed. Eren confides in her his plan. These are the points on which the EreHisu ship is based.

II. The last panel

The final panel of the man holding a baby shocked many fans.

Two theories surround it - One underscores Eren's possibility of marrying Historia. The first theory is that Grisha is holding Eren and telling him he is free, which agrees with Carla's quote that he is special because he was born into the world.

The non-linear sequence of events and the importance of memories may very well allow Attack on Titan to end with a memory of the past - Eren as a baby.

The second theory is that Eren is holding his and Historia's baby after achieving his goal. It's entirely possible.

However, the absence of Eren and Historias' moments, particularly the ones leading up to her pregnancy and her absence from this panel, clearly shows that she doesn't matter as much in Eren's life as fans might hope.

From the final chapters it's obvious that the woman in Eren's mind is, and probably always will be, Mikasa.

I've never seen Eren with a child there. It just looked way too much like Grisha with baby Eren.

I don't really know what could be meant by moments here? The fragments of memories? Otherwise, you could assume that these moments were omitted specifically to mislead the reader or because it would not have been relevant to the story. But that doesn't mean she wasn't important to Eren. And when it comes to the fragments...let's count:

Unidentifiable dudes (probably Armin and Mikasa as children) 1 birds 1 Historia 2 Annie 1 airship 1 Connie and Sasha 1 Falco 1 Levi's Special Squadt 1 Frieda Reiss 1 Strange Soldier Pack 1 Grisha 1 basement key 1 burning houses 1 Mikasa 1 Reiner 1 knife 1 Armin 1 Woman with laundry (Carla?) 1 food 1 the Jew Boy 1 Jean 1 Grisha's sister 1 jumping people 1 Horses 1 Levi 1 Hange 1 Undefinable other fragments 3

If the two people on the far right panel in the top corner are Mikasa and Armin, then Historia, Mikasa, and Armin are tied at Eren. If they aren't, Historia would have more relevance to him than Mikasa. And if we go by the size of the fragments, Mikasa might do better, but then I wonder why the panel of a Jewish boy is larger than that of his mother or Armin.

Reading the importance of a person from the memory fragments...I think it's stupid.

Unfortunately, it's still not clear to me why Eren was in love with Mikasa and from when. In particular, the scenes where Mikasa tried to kiss him and he practically turned away to attack the Grinning Titan stuck with me. Most notably, he only arrives 10 years later and asks her if she loves him. That doesn't seem to have mattered to him until now. otherwise he would have asked sooner. When he wants to make sure that Zeke isn't into him, he reacts quite emotionlessly to his answer.

Oh well. What the hell.

If someone has stronger arguments to put forward than this person, please get in touch and explain it to me. Thanks.

[jaedore]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 | 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: jaehyun x reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: mythology!au, angst, romance

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: swearing, suggestive (just making out lol), mentions of alcohol, violence (mentions of choking)

𝐚/𝐧: if you are uncomfortable with these themes then i highly suggest you no longer interact! also, thoughts/emphasis are italicized. I'll just put the header on when I have the patience bc I felt like this is long overdue

[4.5k words]

You woke up finding your body was stiff and sore. It overpowered the pain in your wounded knees that stung with every movement of your limbs. Yesterday seemed like days ago, it felt like a fever dream. No, a nightmare. All you wanted to do was just curl up in bed, but then you remembered that your mother and you were having dinner at Jaehyun’s place. You’ve never gone to the Underworld, you didn’t hear many good things about it and that terrified you. What if Cerberus ate you? What if a wandering, lost soul stole your soul? The questions were endless and it sent you down a spiral of nervousness.

“Y/n?” Your mother softly came in, an apron hung around her neck and the aroma of breakfast food seeped into your room.

“Morning, mom,” you croaked.

“How are you feeling?”

Your mind flashed back to yesterday; Jaehyun in your room, tending your wounds, being flirtatious, or whatever. You remembered it as clear as the Fountain of Youth.

“I’m fine,” you answered, swiping the sheets away from your body to peer at the wounds.

You gently peeled back the bandage a bit only to see that the wound was almost gone. It held a faint discoloration as it was in the process of healing, but you were impressed nonetheless.

“So,” your mother began as she sat on the edge of your bed, “tonight, I was thinking about bringing a pasta dish. Or should we bring a cake? A pie maybe?”

“We can just pick up a pie from the bakery,” you brushed your hand in the air, dismissing any ideas, “it’ll be easier anyways.”

“Ah, yes. Hades does like his spicy chocolate pies,” your mother hums as she smoothes her palm against your bedsheet.

“Ugh, I don’t know how he eats that stuff,” you grumble, swinging your legs off your bed.

“Well, he is the God of the Underworld,” she raises both of her eyebrows at you, “so, what will you be doing today? It’s super nice out.”

Peering at your window, the sun shines brightly in the sky. The sky is bare of clouds and it does seem like a beautiful day today. You can imagine yourself sitting in the grass with a book in your palms. But you had more important things to do today, like beating the shit out of Maeve.

Your shoulders slump as you reply, “I’m going to go train with Mark.”

“You’re always training with that boy,” she narrows her eyes at you, “are you in love with him?”

“Mother!” You raise your voice, snapping your head to her, “No, I am not.”

Athena only laughs at your reply as she gets up and makes her way out of your room.

“Hey, Y/n?” her voice stops you before you step into the bathroom.

“Yes, mom?”

“You know you can tell me anything right?” she asks, her voice sweet and loving.

You nodded, recalling the things that happened last night at the beach. You haven’t told her and she must be worried, but you’re too drained and confused to spill it. So you spare her a small smile as you walk into the bathroom, not saying a word about what happened.

--

“Come on! You can hit harder!”

Annoyed at Mark’s ‘words of encouragement’, you purse your lips as you attempt to hit the boxing pad with your mitts. You were beginning to get tired, your arms burned from the repetitive movements and your knees ached as it chased after your feet. Mark hasn’t given you a break since you’ve gotten here and it’s almost been an hour of constant hitting.

Growing frustrated, you shouted in protest, “I’m done!” you throw your mitts on the dirt.

Mark sighs, seeing the frustration in your eyes, “Okay, what’s really going on?”

You exhale a short breath, “Nothing you’d be interested in,” you answer him sharply as you walk towards one of the rocks to sit on. Mark follows you closely, but quietly afraid to set off the fuming bomb of anger you always held.

“You know,” he starts, “I’ve heard a lot of mysterious things about you,” he plops right next to you.

You curl your legs up to your chest as you stare forward at the waterfall, “Like what?” you mumble, really not interested in what he’s heard because it’s all been bad stuff.

“You tell me,” Mark shrugs.

You tighten your hold on your legs, “I think someone’s out to get me,” you whisper.

Mark leans in to hear you clearer, “Maeve?” he whispers back.

You shudder, her name bringing back awful memories, “Yeah, but I’m not sure why. I have nothing that has to do with her. Sure, I provoked her on the first day, but...it wasn’t severe to draw it out this far.”

Mark’s eyebrows furrow, “What do you mean?”

You explained what happened last night at the beach party. You quivered as you retold the story from your perspective. It was a vivid nightmare that you didn’t know how to wake.

“Where is Lucas now?” Mark asked.

You fumed at the male’s name. He hasn’t texted or called you since last night. He would be the key to all of your answers, but he wouldn’t answer any of your messages or calls. Lucas was friendly, always nice, and shined bright like the sun. You just wondered what he was up to.

“I don’t know,” you sighed, picking up the mitts from the ground, “come on. We came here to train. Plus, I want to forget it all.”

Mark quickly jumps to his feet, “do you think this has anything to do with the feud between Hades, your mother, and her’s?”

You tilted your head to the side, “What feud?”

Mark smirked, “Guess you don’t know then.”

“Mark,” you lowered your voice when he dismissed your question, “what. Feud?”

“I’ll tell you if you can beat me,” he said, picking up the other pair of mitts that laid on the ground.

--

Storming into your house, you shouted, “Why didn’t you tell me about the feud you had with Hades and Eris?”

Taken aback, she looked at you with wide eyes, almost dropping the spoon she held, “w-what are you talking about?”

You inhaled, “Why didn’t you tell me that after the Titan War, Hades, and apparently Zeus, imprisoned Eris in Tartarus? And that you were helping them and now she’s after me, possibly because of it?”

“Who told you that?” your mother calmly put down the spoon and rubbed her palms on her thighs.

“Does that really matter right now, mom?” your voice rose in anger.

“Sit down,” she wipes her hand on a napkin, discarding it as she walks towards you, who begins to be seated at the dinner table.

“Eris and I were good friends, we trained together as kids. She was good, almost better than me, but there was always the tension of competition between us. One could only be good in the eyes of Zeus so we grew up and trained with that mindset. As we got older, we were still good friends, but there was always that silent tension between us. When the Titan war came to be, Eris rebelled and fought against us,” your mother sighed, anguish tainting the streaks of her face, “I tried everything in my power to persuade her to fight with us, to be on our side, but that’s when she said all of the things that were never said. That I was the favorite, I was the best only because I was the favorite, I was only fighting along Zeus because he favored me more than her. Not because I was good or tactful, she disregarded our training together...our friendship, the bond that we had growing up. It was stupid really, but eventually, we beat their army and imprisoned her. According to Zeus, she did more damage during the war that I wasn’t aware of. That’s why she’s imprisoned in Tartarus. I haven’t asked because she’s...she’s dead to me really.”

You leaned back in her seat, realizing that Maeve probably was only acting out of feeling because of the relationship between both of your mothers. Her mother was imprisoned in the deep abyss below the Underworld, while yours lived a perfect, rewarding life.

“Is that why we’re going to the Underworld tonight? To talk to Zeus?” you quietly asked.

Your mother nodded, “I know I should’ve told you. I’m sorry. I just didn’t think of the possibilities of her coming for you through her daughter because of me.”

You shook your head, “It’s fine. I just want this to stop,” your fingertips brushed against your neck.

“Well,” your mother sighed, peering at her watch, “you don’t really have time to get ready, so why don’t you rinse your face from the sweat, and then we’ll pick up the pie and head on down.”

Head on down. You whimpered as you stood up. And it wasn’t because of your sore legs.

As you washed your face, you wondered if Jaehyun would be eating with you guys. You recall that Hades said Jaehyun was always at the Mourning Fields talking to the souls that wandered there. There, holds the souls that wasted their souls on unrequited love. Does Jaehyun love someone? Or does he not? Then you remembered how he took up space in your room last night. His fingertips sent icicle daggers through your skin that you felt their phantom as you wiped your face on the nearby towel. With the hopes of Jaehyun not speaking to you tonight, you braced yourself on the journey of walking down into the Underworld.

--

You jumped back at the sound of barking. Cerberus. The three-headed dog barks at both you and your mother. No matter how powerful your mother, Athena, was, she had no power over a creature created to guard the gates of the Underworld.

“Why isn’t he coming? I rang the doorbell like five minutes ago,” your mother grumbled.

As if on cue, the gates opened and the growling sounds of Cerberus silenced in question.

“They are not the enemy or the dead, Cerberus. They’re our guests.” a voice rang above you. You found out later that the voice belonged to Hades, but you saw Jaehyun stepping out from behind the black, iron gates.

“Good evening, sorry for the wait.” Jaehyun bowed to you both.

Your mother paused, regretting the comment she made before as she saw how handsome Jaehyun was, “You’re Jaehyun, right? You grew up so well.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

Tch “ma’am”. As if you actually had manners. You rolled your eyes at his sense of poise. You wonder where he learned such acts in a short amount of time.

Your mother nudged you, “do you have anything to say?” she whispered.

You inhaled a sharp breath, narrowing your eyes at the prideful male in front of you, “Thank you for having us,” you mumbled, barely nodding to him.

“Please, this way.”

Jaehyun led your mother and you towards Hades’ Palace, the stone tower tall enough to peek through the rising fog of the evening. Across the path to the left stood the Judgement Pavilion. Several souls lined up waiting for their next home where they’d be trapped forever. One of the souls snapped their eyes to you as if they knew where you stood, who you were. Their eyes were full of darkness and fury, almost consuming you into a tunnel of doom.

Jaehyun snatched your arm, his grip vice-like, “Don’t look at any soul who hasn’t been through the Judgement Pavilion, it’s their last chance to steal a living being’s soul before they’re judged into exile.” You hadn’t realized it but it was only you and Jaehyun who stood on the pavement that led you to Hades’ Palace.

You looked ahead not seeing her, “Where’s my mom?”

“She already went in. We didn’t even notice you were gone until she asked you something to only find you not behind us.”

You inhaled a sharp breath, “How long have I been standing here?”

“Around five minutes, you didn’t hear me call you?” Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed.

Shaking your head in denial you said, “No, I didn’t until you grabbed my arm,” you eyed down to your arm seeing that he still held you. Jaehyun’s grip loosened as he also realized that he hadn’t let go yet.

“Come on, let’s go,” his hand tightened around your arm once again as he dragged you towards the stone palace.

“I can walk myself,” you snapped at him, attempting to yank your arm from his clutch.

Jaehyun turned to you, his eyes cool and icy, sending chills down your spine, “I know,” he lowly said, “but I’m not taking my chances,” he gripped your arm again, leading you to his home.

The moonlight barely shined against the copper stone of his palace, creating sheer darkness looking like it hadn’t been touched for centuries. As unwelcoming as it felt, you could smell the complete opposite; a small scent of mint, the natural smell of tree bark, and the faintest feather of lavender. You glanced forward at Jaehyun, he hadn’t spared you look as you two made your way towards his home.

Jaehyun led you past the Asphodel Meadows, only tugging on your arm harder to bring your senses back. He was right to do so because looking at it was hypnotizing. You were even surprised that the ground-up dirt was able to grow flowers, and not knowing what kind they were, they were the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. The trees that sheltered them were bare of leaves and plants, creating a haunting aura, but it didn’t alarm you enough to look away.

“Come on,” Jaehyun tugged at you once again, this time gaining your attention.

You glared at him making you feel like some child that wasn’t able to concentrate. “What’s down there?”

He glanced back at you, mirroring your expression, “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t. Now hush, we’re almost there.”

After a few more steps, you both came to face his home. The palace was bigger than you expected as it loomed over you. It felt like you were walking into your own exile.

“I thought you got lost,” your mother called to you as you walked in with Jaehyun behind you.

“She almost did,” he mumbled as he passed you to sit at the dinner table.

“She’s always been a curious one,” your mother laughed.

“That could get you in some serious trouble, girl,” Hades walked into the room with spoons in his hand. The high-pitched cackling sound of the spoon hitting the dishes made you wince, “come sit, it’s almost time to eat.”

Obeying Hades’ words, you idly sat next to Jaehyun with shame settling in your bones because you felt embarrassed that he had to drag your ass back to his place. The skin where his hands once grasped your arm felt tingly and you couldn’t burn it from your mind. It’s not like you and Jaehyun had many encounters, or rather, pleasant encounters, but you can’t help yourself but stare at him from the corner of your eye. Jaehyun sits with poise and pride, but you can see the burden he carries in the way he slightly slouches and the exhausted sigh that wriggles from his lips.

As everyone eats, you can’t help but think what Jaehyun’s thinking about. You can tell he’s thinking about something from the tension in his brow and the small pout coming from his bottom lip. From time to time, you ignore the small moments where his arm or leg brushes against yours or when you both reach for the same dish. And there’s a sort of tension over the table as everyone silently hides their comments as their food reaches their lips.

Hades is the first to speak, “So, I’ve heard you’ve had quite the events lately,” his tone low and cautious.

You clear your throat, “Um, yes.”

You begin to tell him everything that’s happened from the start of Maeve to the event in the Phantasms Forest. Not leaving out a single detail, you didn’t even notice your hands tensing up until you felt warmth from another on top of your chilled skin. Turning to your mother, she nods to you in comfort, letting you know that you’re doing well and you’re strong for facing what you’ve been through. Hades listens closely, not reaching for his food and feeling the slight disgust from those who caused you harm. Truth be told, he knew what was happening and why it was happening to you. Slightly nodding at your mother, they both lifted themselves from their seats and walked out the door leaving you and Jaehyun alone.

You turned to the male to your right, “Where are they going?”

Jaehyun shrugs, grabbing the nearby plates, “Probably to Tartarus.”

“What?” You snapped up on your legs, immediately following him to the kitchen sink, “Why?

“I’m sure you know that’s where they’re keeping Eris,” Jaehyun spares you a glance as he begins soaking a sponge in soap.

“Yeah,” you crossed your arms, “but why are they going down there? To talk to her? What is she going to do? What are they going to do? How long is this going to take?”

Tired of the overload from your questions, Jaehyun turns to you. Unbeknown that you were leaning forward towards him as you spoke, your eyes widened as you came face to face with the hot-headed male. His eyes were a pool of darkness with a hint of brown like melted dark chocolate. You stood in front of him with your feet glued to the ground. Heat radiated off your body as you parted your lips. Jaehyun’s eyes flickered down. He sharply inhaled to only let it out as he turned away and began scrubbing the dishes again.

“Bring the dishes to me and I’ll wash them,” he said before you could turn away from him.

You clutched the collar of your shirt. What was that? Your fingers trembled around a plate when you realized that he didn’t even answer any of your problems.

Setting them on the counter next to him, you snapped, “You didn’t even reply to my questions.”

“You talk too much.”

Stunned, you purse your lips and walk away. He can clean the kitchen by himself. You sat yourself in their living room, plopping yourself on the couch. If it weren’t for the dim lamp that flickered in the far corner of the room, you would’ve walked around blindly. The walls were painted in black, the rug was black, and even the couch you sat on was black. Everything was black like a fire had torn through the palace. The only color that caught your attention was the pictures that sat on top of the unlit fireplace. Making your way towards the photos, you found family photos of Jaehyun and his parents. It looked like a regular family you would suspect in the human world, a mother and father playing with their toddler son in the park. Except it wasn’t a park and it wasn’t a regular family. The field Jaehyun played on was the Field of Asphodel, but it was beautiful, there was greenery, grass, and beautiful flowers that bloomed around little Jaehyun. You wondered what happened to the breathtaking scenery. Your eyes landed on a particular picture that made the corners of your lips lift in the slightest. There, laid little Jaehyun sleeping peacefully in the embrace of Cerberus who also laid in slumber around the little boy, sheltering him from the rain that penetrated to the Underworld. Cute. The faint blur of a finger covered the corner of the picture, you wondered who took this photo. You thought that maybe it was his mother, Persephone, who no one’s heard of for years. The last thing you heard was that Hades kidnapped her after eating six pomegranate seeds and she was forced to live six months in the Underworld and six months in the mortal world, Earth. But she hasn’t returned from her six months on Earth. And it’s been 20 years.

“No, I don’t know where she is, nor do I really care,” Jaehyun said beside you.

Jumping, you didn’t even realize he was there. Holding your chest, you panted, “I didn’t even say anything this time.”

“I know,” he glanced at you, his gaze flickering back to your lips, then lower to your neck, “but you were thinking it.”

“I-”

“Come, I might have some ointment left for your neck,” Jaehyun doesn’t even give you a chance to protest.

Grabbing your wrist, you obediently follow him back into the kitchen.

“Sit,” he commands.

You look around in question, “Where the hell am I going to sit?”

Jaehyun reached up to the upper cupboard, the bottom of his shirt slightly lifting with his shoulders to reveal his back, “on the counter, of course,” you averted your eyes somewhere else when he turned to face you, “unless you want to sit on my lap,” he smirks.

You shake your head, lifting yourself on the counter. Even if you sat on the counter, you were only tall enough to meet him at eye level. Snapping the cap open, the familiar smell of mint and ginger filled your nose as he dipped two fingers in the gooey substance. A very sinful scenario flashed across your mind as he pulled those fingers back out, his digits drenched in the healing fluid. Squeezing your legs together, you cleared your throat as he crept closer to you, but that only led to Jaehyun sliding his free hand around your nape to pull you closer.

“I don’t bite,” he whispers, that smirk returning.

“I didn’t ev-”

You tensed as Jaehyun’s fingertips brushed on your skin to apply the ointment. Both of your bodies were so close to each other, the only blockage being your knees that dug into this stiff abdomen. It also didn’t help that Jaehyun’s face was incredibly close to yours. With one movement, your lips would’ve met.

“Relax,” he whispers, his eyes switching up to meet yours.

Chills shoot down your spine, a sudden heat pooled at the bottom of your stomach at the breeze of his breath. But eventually, you relaxed. Until you felt his hand on your neck rubbing circles. He repeatedly dipped those long digits of his in the ointment and reapplied it to your neck. To be honest, you thought it looked fine, it was still sore and hurt in certain places but it felt like he was lathering you in it. Once in a while, you’d wince at the pressure Jaehyun’s fingertips pressed against some of the bruises.

“Sorry,” he’d murmur. You’d thin your lips but relax as soon as he apologizes, his voice sounding sincere and gentle.

Slightly turning to the side, you let out a troubled breath, sharply inhaling another, repeating those steps over again and again until Jaehyun slowly pulled away. His warm hand slipped from your nape and your breath trembled, the cold air settling on it as soon as he pulled away. You watched him set the ointment back where he got it from, not missing the flutter of his skin that revealed the slight muscles in his lower back. Oh boy, you sighed.

Jaehyun turned back to you, “You alright?”

You nodded, “Will it still be there by tomorrow?”

Jaehyun walked to you as you stayed glued to the counter, he hummed, “Considering that you almost met death twice in the span of two days, it’ll take a few days,” he was closer once again, “just be careful,” his voice in a low whisper.

You could feel his breath brisk your cheeks. You didn’t know if it was your own heat warming you up or the faint warmth of the words that escaped his plump lips. You felt his abdomen on the curl of your knees like before and there wasn’t a way to bring them closer because it’d reveal to him what you were thinking...or feeling. Maybe you weren’t thinking clearly, maybe you were just lonely. But the longer you stayed in front of him, your desire to kiss him grew. He’s been nothing but cold and mean, but he’s been so kind and taking care of you despite his spiteful aura. You sucked in your bottom lip, stopping whatever trembling words attempted to escape from the cage of your tongue.

You sucked in a sharp breath when Jaehyun’s hands slid to your waist.

“Don’t do that,” Jaehyun brought him closer to you, prying your legs open to create space for him.

You sucked in another sharp breath, “Do what?”

“You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Jaehyun seemed to be drawing closer to you, his gaze occasionally glancing at your lips as both of your breaths began to weigh down. Closing your eyes, you swore you felt his lips brush yours until you realized he wasn’t kissing you at all, but instead lifting you until you were back on your feet. With bodies still closer than the stars were to the moon, you tipped your head up to meet his gaze. Already looking at you, Jaehyun let out a heavy sigh.

You should’ve inhaled another breath because the next second, you found yourself against Jaehyun’s lips. Those lips that were so pink and so inviting met yours. It felt like Olympus was on pause and it was just you and him. No Maeve, no darkness, nothing. A heavy sensation of peace settled in the curve of your palms as you dragged them down his chest. You gasped when he bit your lip, sucking and, licking it for permission of entrance and you immediately complied, not giving it any thought at all. Those calloused hands of his wrapped around the small of your back, pulling you closer flush against his body, against his hips. Jaehyun’s tongue danced with yours, a gasp revering the way he held you close to him, the way with each stroke, you moaned enough to satisfy him. Until he pulled away.

With panting breaths and blinking eyes scattering across yours, you could see the panic in his eyes. You could see instant regret that pooled in the darkness of his eyes, yet you couldn’t help but inhale when he stepped away, the heat of his body replaced with his familiar coldness. Your eyes follow Jaehyun as he runs out of his home. Not saying anything to you, but leaving you alone in the darkness of his home. In the Underworld. Standing alone in his kitchen, you could hear the loud beating of your heart penetrating your ears, blocking the sound of droplets from the faucet, the hum of the house, and the confusion in your breath. Your fingers fly to your lips, the feeling burns yours like a scar. Was it something you said? Was it something you did? Gulping, you frantically searched the cupboards for a cup of water, thirst reaching your throat, but instead you found a section that opened up to bottles of whisky and wine.

Even better. Finding a drying cup in the sink, you poured yourself a glass of the bronze liquid, not caring for it’s age or make. You winced as the liquid scorched your throat, coughing at the slightly burning sensation that warmed your mouth, but anything was better than the searing feeling of his lips and the pain of when he pulled away.

[127-mile]

Let’s pretend we’re in love.

Pairing: Doyoung x gender neutral reader.

Genre: Fake dating, unrequited love, bff to strangers | Angst.

Warnings: strong language.

Plot: Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that of an angel, whether he is speaking, or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parent. Doyoung is also...mean. Doyoung has the face and the voice of an angel, in the body of a demon.

Doyoung tells his mother he is dating you after lying about his relationship. Doyoung knows about your feelings, but he doesn’t care.

Word count: +4.2k.

A/n: this is part of the Mad about the boy collab hosted by @slightlymore​.

Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that one of an angel, whether he is speaking, or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parents. Doyoung is also..

"Y/n are you listening to me?" you are pulled away from your thoughts when Doyoung nudges you. He has been talking for over five minutes now, but all you could think about was how perfect he is. Yes, you saw his lips move, but you did not hear a sound that come out of his mouth. Now that you think about it, Doyoung does have pretty lips, and you wonder how it would feel to kiss him.

"Oh, what is wrong with you today?" he stops and grabs your wrist when you are about to run into a pole. "Are you alright? Are you sick? Do you need me to drive you back home? I can call my parents, and tell them I'll be late, it's fine. You look awfully lost today." you have a long sigh, why is he like this, always so caring.

"I'm fine Doyoung, don't worry about me, I guess I'm just a bit tired." you answer, and he does not look convinced but he shrugs. "Are you sure? My parents will not be mad if you decide to skip dinner." you shake your head as you start walking again, pulling Doyoung with you as he was still holding your wrist. "It's fine. What were you saying?"

"I was talking about my parents, and the reason they invited us." well, technically, they invited Doyoung to eat with them, but Doyoung answered one of your calls, and upon hearing your name, his parents decided to invite you too. A free meal in a nice restaurant is always pleasant, so you had to say yes. Maybe you shouldn't have, with how hard it is for you to focus on anything else than Doyoung's face.

"This weekend is the weekend where the whole family gets together in our grandparents' country house. I told them I would not come because of work, so they are going to try and convince me to join them." this time, you are the one stopping in your tracks. "If you knew what they were going to talk about, why did pretty much beg me to come? I do not want to be in the middle of an argument with your parents."

You met Doyoung when him and his family moved in the neighoroud, you were still young, so you have known each other for a very long time, and he got into the habit of having you by his side during arguments, because you are what he calls a neutral zone, or whatever is reasoning is. "Oh come on, you know they can't refuse me anything when you are here!"

"Doyoung, you are 25 year old! You should know how to settle an argument with your parents, you should know how to make them listen to you and accept whatever you have to say." he tilts his head to the side, and his eyes meet yours. It's enough for your heart to skip a beat, or two. Stupid heart. "Please?"

"Why don't you want to go by the way? The house is really cool, there is a lake, and your family is really sweet. Don't you miss them?" he looks around, and he notices how close he is from the restaurant. If he tries hard enough, he is pretty sure he can see his parents near a bay window, laughing together. "Because, I may have told my mother I had a partner, and she expects me to bring them."

"You are a dumbass, Kim Doyoung." you say in a sigh. "Why would you tell her that? If you do not have time to brush your hair, you definitely do not have time to date someone." he looks offended, but then he remembers the mess on his head, and he decides to stay quiet on the subject. "I don't know! My mom's been on my back about finding someone for months now, I guess I got tired of hearing her and I decided to lie."

"Why don't you find someone? Don't you have a cute coworker you wanted to ask on a date once? Ask them to play your partner." you hate how bright his smile becomes when you mention said coworker. You try not to think about what they have, that you do not have. This is not the time to mope. You'll cry about it later. "That's a great idea! You are the best."

Yes, yes, you are.

Doyoung crosses the road, and he pushes open the door to the restaurant. "After you." he says, and you step inside, smiling at the sudden warmth that invades your body. "Good evening, do you have a reservation?" the young man asks, and Doyoung nods. "My parents are waiting for us, they made a reservation under the name of Kim."

"Yes!" he exclaims, and he walks you to the table. The couple stands up when they see you, and you let Doyoung's mother embrace you for a second. "Y/n, it's been a while, how are you doing sweetheart?" she asks, and you sit down in front of her. "I am doing just fine, how are you?"

"Same old, same old." she starts, head tilted to the side. "we are trying to organize the family weekend, and as usual, it's stressful." you understand. You participated in a few of these gathering, and you know how stressfull everything is. You never regretted anything more than the time you offered to help.

"Yes, Doyoung told me, I'm sure it's going to be amazing, and you'll have a wonderful time with your family." the woman smiles warmly, and she puts her hand on Doyoung's. "Tell me baby, did you ask your partner to come with you?" you nibble on your lower lip, you are excited to hear his arguments.

"Mom, I told you, I have too much work, I can't come." she shakes her head, and you share a look with his father. He knows he is lying, but he keeps his mouth shut, he knows better than to intervene. "Come on Doyoung, don't be silly, I'm sure whatever you have to do can wait for the weekend to be over."

Before he can open his mouth, she raises her hand to shut him up. "I have an idea. Why don't you take your work with you, and I'll give you a couple of hours to work in your grandfather's office, how does that sound?" Doyoung's mother is tenacious, she knows what she wants, and she is ready to do everything in order to get it.

"You know, my darling, that I'm not getting younger by the day, and my dream is to meet the person who makes you so so happy." oh, she went there, you think. Doyoung looks at you, and you smirk, you are not going to help him. "I have something to tell you first."

"I'm listening." but before Doyoung can say anything, the waitress gives you the menu, and comes back to take the orders. And when she leaves, Doyoung's mother prompts him to speak. "Go on, my love, is something wrong?"

"Everything is fine, mother." he plays with his fingers, and you wonder what he is going to say. His mouth opens, and closes for a second, you wonder if he said anything, or if you blacked out because of what he said. All you hear is his mother squeal with delight, and when you look up, she is absolutely beaming.

"Oh my god! I told you it would happen eventually!" she says, hitting her husband on the shoulder. "You did say that." he mumbles, rubbing the aching spot. "I am so happy! And the family loves you, they are going to be thrilled to hear that!"

The rest of the dinner is a blur, you hear and say things, but your brain can't quite process whatever is happening. You must look odd to the Kim's eyes, but you can't even find it in yourself to care.

"See you on Saturday sweetheart." Doyoung's mother says, cupping your cheeks to kiss your forehead. "Yes, Saturday."

When the car disappears from your sight, you turn on your heels to face Doyoung. At least he has the decency to look ashamed, and he doesn't say anything when you hit him in the chest. "What the fuck, Doyoung?" you yell, and he knows people are looking at the scene, even if it's already dark outside.

"I'm sorry, I panicked." he answers, and you shake your head. "Couldn't you admit that you lied, instead of luring me into your lies without asking first!" he takes your hand, and he sighs. "I know, I know. But you were there, and my mom was so excited, I don't know what happened. And look how happy she was when I said it."

"Imagine how sad she is going to be when she'll learn it was a lie, Doyoung!" he knows he should have thought before opening his mouth in the restaurant, but it was his only solution, or so you thought. "She doesn't have to know it was a lit, we can just... I don't know, break up?"

This is a bad idea, you think. For you, who have been madly in love with Doyoung ever since you were kids, it's going to hurt. Because you know Doyoung does not reciprocate your feelings, and never will, and he will play the perfect boyfriend you wish you had.

The break up is going to hurt like a bitch, even if it's fake, and yet, you open your mouth. "We are breaking up at the end of the weekend."

"We need to get the details right, when did we become official?"

Doyoung sits on the edge of the bed as you put your clothes in the dresser. "I don't know Doyoung. You are the one who brought me into this mess, so you should be the one thinking about it." he mumbles something you don't understand, and you turn on your heels to face him. "You are telling me that you did not think about the details at all?"

You did think about everything, of course you did. Not because you were excited about this situation, but because it is something you thought about a lot these past few years.

"I was busy!" he exclaims, and you sigh. "If you want it to be believable, you need to think. Right now. Because your family will be there in a few minutes." you are glad you arrived before everything else, it gives you the time to settle down, and to think about the things you could have talked about in the car.

"We can't tell them it's been a few months, because my mom will bet mad that I did not tell her sooner. So maybe two or three weeks?" you nod. "Yeah, okay. Who confessed?" Doyoung seems to think about it, and when he opens his mouth to answer, you wish you never asked the question. "You, you did it. It what you would have done if it really happened, uh?"

You do not say anything, you do not like the way he said it, like he knows something. He probably does to be honest, you are not the best at hiding your feelings.

"Kids, come say hello!" saved by the bells.

You get out of your bedroom, and you go down the stairs. A few of Doyoung's cousins just entered the house, and they smile when they see you both. "Oh, Y/n, I didn't know you would be here!" Jungwoo says and he puts you into a bone-crushing hug. "Yeah, last minute decision." you answer.

You greet the other members of the family, and before you can understand what is happening, someone grabs your hand to pull you into the living room. "Guys, you all know Y/n, right? Well, I would like to officially introduce Y/n as my partner!"

You try not to look uncomfortable when they all cooe, but you can't smile either. Doyoung is just dropping the bomb, when you thought he would tell the news to some members of the family if they ever asked about his love life. Well, you agreed to be here, so you have to go with the flow. Or rather with Doyoung's decisions.

"I never thought I would see the day where you would finally confess your feelings for our dear cousin." Jungwoo says, and you laugh but god do you want to punch him square in the face. He is the only one in the family to know about your true feelings, so with the little announcement, he feels allowed to say everything he knows.

"Yes, I was wondering if Y/n was ever going to do it. About time." Doyoung answers, and you roll your eyes, but fortunately, his mother calls everyone in the garden. She wants to celebrate the beginning of what she thinks will be a memorable weekend.

"They are gone, you can let go of my hand." you mumble, and he shakes his head. "We have to play the perfect little couple, so might as well do it fully." what is the point of playing when no one is around to see you, if not play with your heart. "You always wanted it, so don't be like that. Come on, let's not make them wait."

He leads you to the garden, and when he finally lets go of your hand to grab two glasses of wine, you feel yourself breathing again. Of course, you spent the last couple of days thinking about the weekend, and how it would turn out, but you thought it would be nice, you know, to be closer to your long-time crush, but no, it's unberable and it's been less than an hour.

"I would like to thank everyone for making the trip for the weekend, I am really glad to see you all, because I have to be honest with you, this year was not easy, and I missed each and every one of you. I am also really grateful to have Y/n with us, I always knew Y/n would be the one to make our sweet boy happy."

Doyoung looks proud, and he is beaming under the attention when you want nothing more than to burry yourself in the ground. "Thank you for accepting me." you say when you hear nothing but silence and feel way too many pairs of eyes on you. "Of course, my love. You were always part of the family, so it is even more normal to have you here with us today."

That's sweet, but what is not is the way Doyoung chuckles under his breath.

"Oh, here you are!" Jungwoo sits down next to you on the couch, and he puts his head on your shoulder. "I've been looking for you everywhere. You know the grandfather's office is off limit?" you shrug, eyes still closed. "I don't care, I needed some alone time."

Jungwoo straightens up, and he does what he does best, he pouts. "What's going on? Are you not happy to be here with us?" you heave a long sigh, opening your eyes to look at him. "I am. I'm always happy to see all of you, especially you Woo, but I don't know. I guess it's overwhelming this time."

"I bet it is. Everyone is all over you, asking you questions. I would dip too if I were you." he answers, and you stay quiet for a couple of minutes. "You and Doyoung, it's an hoax right?" you do not know if you like or hate the fact that Jungwoo is always quick to catch on. "It's that obvious?"

"Not really," he starts, standing up to stretch his long legs. "but you've been in love with him for ever, so seeing you here, when you should be glued to him is weird." that's definitely what you would be doing if Doyoung was not acting so.. you do not even know how to describe it. "I don't know Woo, Doyoung has been acting weird since we arrived."

"What do you mean?" you take the time to think about it, because Jungwoo is still Doyoung's cousin, and you do not want to upset him. "He is the one who told his parents that we were dating, without asking me first, and yet, he is acting like an asshole."

"He throws little comments about my feelings, my real feelings, each chance he gets, and every time, he has that nasty smile on his face." you explain, and Jungwoo hums. "I know it's been only a few hours, and he is probably acting out of nervousness, but it's like.. did he just trick me into coming here just to humiliate me in front of everyone?"

You expect Jungwoo to tell you that you are wrong, that you are imagining everything, but no. "I would not be surprise, to be honest with you." you narrow your eyes, and you don't know what to expect now. "We went on vacation last year, remember? And there, he met this person. It was obvious that they caught feelings for him, and he just played with them."

"He is not stupid, and he understood pretty quickly, but instead of being flattered or to let them down gently, he just decided to be an asshole about it." if Doyoung was not acting like that today, you would never have believed a word of what he said. This is not the Doyoung you know. "But why would he do that? He is not like that on the daily."

"Everyone things he is perfect, but I guess perfection does not extist, and he is the proof." you don't really know how to feel right now. You want to leave, because you are mad. You are mad at yourself, and you are mad at him. "But why me? I'm here to help him, and I'm his best friend, not some kind of summer fling. I never did anything to wrong him or anything, I don't understand."

"I wish I knew Y/n." he answers, putting his hand on your shoulder. "I know how much you love him, and I am sorry he is playing with you." you sigh, you are at loss for words right now. You want to leave but you can't, not this early. Maybe you can find an excuse to leave? No, you can't. Doyoung is the one who drove you here.

"Keep me from hurting him if he decides to act up again today." you say, and Jungwoo nods with a smile. "You know, I am not that strong, so if I can't hold you for long enough, and that you end up actually hurting him, I'm sorry." he winds, and he opens the door to let your out first.

"Well, that was a nice day!" Doyoung says as he lets himself fall on the bed. You have to move your arm to avoid it being stuck under his body. "Good for you." you answer, and he turns on his side to look at you, frowning. "Is something wrong?"

"Are you really asking me that?" you don't know if you should tell him everything you have in mind, or keep quiet and wait until you leave, but you are not sure you can hold for another day. All you know is that you don't want to snap in front of the entire family.

"I have a question, why are you such an asshole with me?" he straightens up, back against the bedframe and he crosses his arms against his chest. "What are you talking about? Wa barely talked today!" you scoff. "And for a reason. Every time we talked, you just made me look like an idiot."

"Why are you doing this? What was the point of asking me to come, if you were planning on being mean?" he bites the inside of his cheek. If you try to remain calm, it seems hard for him too. He has a lot to say, but everyone is asleep, and he knows how quick he gets angry, and he doesn't want anyone to eavesdrop.

"So we are really doing this, uh?" you don't know what he is referring to, but you nod either way. "I'm tired Y/n. I'm tired of you being in love with me." well, that's not what you were expecting, but you are not surprised, if this taught you anything is that you can't expect anything when it comes to Doyoung anymore.

"Hear me out. I know you love me, I always knew, and the attention is nice, but I never mentionned it because you are my best friend, and I never wanted our relationship to change. But I met someone." oh.

"It's my coworker, the one I wanted to ask of a date. Well, I did, last year, and we've been dating ever since. But they can't stand the way you look at me, and it weight a lot on our relationship." you shake your head. "Then why did you bring me? Why didn't you introduce them to your parents instead?"

"How do I say that.. I needed a reason for you to hate me. Not as your friend, but as a potential lover. I needed something to calm your feelings, because as much as I love you, as a friend, my relationship with them is way more important." it feels like someone is squeezing your heart, and you wouldn't be surprised if it came out of your ribcage, in pieces.

"They hate how you look at me, and I understand, I am to the point where I hate it too." you open your eyes wide, and you look up. You refuse to cry. Not in front of Doyoung, he does not deserve it. "So your only option was to break my heart, in front of your entire family? You could have told me the truth, I would have understood you know, I might be in love with you, but I am not stupid!"

"You say you love me as a friend, and yet, you are doing this. You decided to play with my heart to hurt me. And for what?" your voice is shaking, and it sounds a lot like a sob that escapes your pressed lips. "I'm sorry." he whispers, and you laugh as you get out of bed.

"You are not sorry, Doyoung. This is not your first time doing something like this. Is this what gets you going? Breaking people's hearts? Are you planning on doing the same with your current partner?" he shakes his head, and of course, he would never do something like that. Sweet sweet Doyoung.

"You know what? You don't have to worry about me looking at you some type of way, because starting from tomorrow, you will not have to see me again. It'll be so much easier for you." you grab your suitcase, and you stuff your clothes inside. "What are you doing?" Doyoung stands up and he follows you every move.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch, and I'll go home first thing in the morning. Don't worry about driving me back, you can stay here, enjoy and explain to your mother why she will never see me again. Maybe you should also tell her why her son is such a fucking asshole, I'm sure she's going to love it."

"Come on, don't be like that." he says in a sigh, and you open the bedroom door. "Don't be like what? Don't be like a fucking human being with feelings? Well I'm sorry, but I am!" if the family was not around you, you would have sloed the door hard enough for the sound to echoes against the walls, but instead, you close it softly.

Doyoung is beautiful, he is also kind, attentive, affectionate, smart and funny. He is charismatic, and well-spoken. His voice could be mistaken with that of an angel, whether he is speaking or singing. Doyoung is everyone's dream, the one person you would never hesitate to introduce to your parents. Doyoung is also mean.

Doyoung has the face and the voice of an angel, in the body of a demon.

So yes, you are mad about the boy, but you are also mad about yourself.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 1

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language/brief nudity Warnings: None Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering... could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique "soul mark", which they share with their soulmate. Notes: Reader is gender neutral, but at some points will be described as leaning towards being feminine (due to personal interpretation of Alcina's character). Additionally, Lady D will eventually be referred to by her first name, so don't worry if you feel weird about her being called by her full title all the time, it's just for this chap, when the reader isn't familiar with her. Lastly, this contains a bit of one sided Alcina/Miranda, which serves as a plot point, but is (clearly) not the primary ship.

1: In The Shadow Of Giants

Three months, two weeks, and one day. That’s how long you’ve been at this accursed castle, serving cruel mistresses, having been plucked from your peaceful life in the village. Anger stains your every thought, slowly festering inside your chest. There is no cure, at least not without a fatal price, but there are mild remedies. ‘Tis not long before the other servants learn to give you the more physically demanding chores. Nothing numbs your mind quite the same way that chopping firewood does, though you often settle for hard scrubbing age-old tile. Every day ends with your muscles crying from the effort of it all. Every day… except today. Another servant, from the night shift, has been wounded severely, and her job was deemed too important to be foregone.

And, as such, she has been replaced. By you. For once, you turn in early, long before your clothes can become stained with sweat. Yet you aren’t happy, not when you know that this change will ruin your sleep for weeks to come. Even worse, it’ll be impossible to avoid your ‘employers’, whereas working the day shift meant almost never seeing them. So far, you have only seen them on four or five occasions. Hell, you’ve only met two of them, being Cassandra and Bela. Based on what others told you, the other two weren’t much (if at all) better. As you try your best to get some rest, only a single ‘positive’ thought runs through your head: Well, worst comes to worst, I’ll get killed, then I won’t have to worry about anything anymore.

---------------------------

“Remember: No talking unless you’re asked a question. The Mistress has had a rough morning, and this is her best chance at relaxing,” Juniper explains, for what seems like the eighth time since the two of you met. There’s a nervous energy around her, which does little to ease your own anxieties. If you heard correctly, she’s only been at the castle for a couple weeks, having previously worked for Mother Miranda. You’re not sure what would have caused the transfer, considering most who were ‘fired’ ended up dead. Something told you that it had to do with antsy nature. “Oh, and don’t leave unless dismissed, even once your part is done. We all need to be ready, in case Mistress- I mean, Lady Dimitrescu needs something. Sorry, I’m still getting used to how things work here.”

“As long as you don’t slip up in front of her and get us both killed, I don’t really care,” you replied, giving Juniper a level stare. Clearly unsure how to respond, she pauses for a moment, mouth opening then closing without a sound. Once she’s seemingly composed herself, you give a short nod and push open the door to the bathroom. Two other servants are already inside, and they flinch at your arrival, briefly mistaking you for their boss. “I can hardly believe they made me change shifts for this,” you add, under your breath, rolling your eyes. What was so important about making sure a few candles stayed lit? During bathtime? Maybe it was something you had to be a giant, vampiric noblewoman to understand. Regardless of your annoyance, you quickly get to work, striking the first of a couple matches. It’s a rather dull task. To think you would have preferred heavy labor to this.

Before long, the last flame springs to life, and Juniper dims the lights, allowing the candles to become the focus. At least one is scented, though you cannot place the specific kind. Less than a minute after the last one is lit, the door once again swings open, revealing your most elusive employer. She’s… more than you anticipated. In every conceivable way, truthfully. Taller, more graceful (even as she has to duck through the entrance), and, as much as you hate to think so, far, far more beautiful. If not for the warm lighting of the room, you would have worried about someone seeing your blush. Certainly I am not the first to react this way, you think, as you bow alongside the others.

“Yes, yes, get on with it,” Lady Dimitrescu says, with a sharp frown. Then she moves closer to the tub, which you imagine could fit half a dozen ‘normal’ people, and holds out her arms to her side. For a moment you’re confused, but you instinctively mimic the motions of the other maidens. Together the four of you reach for her robe, gently taking hold of it while she steps into the bath, before hanging it onto a nearby hook. A second later your entire world is turned upside down. You’re freezing in place, eyes wide, as the bare back of Lady Dimitrescu reveals itself to you. Yet this is not an instance of poorly veiled lust. No, it is equal parts horror and repulsion, for you find yourself staring at a distinctive soul marking.

One that matches your own.

Beside you, Juniper watches you with concern, silently urging you to stay silent. Neither of the other two servants seem to react, other than by taking a small step backwards. Unable to speak, let alone form coherent thoughts, all you can do is point a trembling finger towards the soul mark. It’s right in between Lady Dimitrescu’s shoulder blades. Once upon a time, you had marveled at the design, smiling every time you saw it in the mirror. Now, it might as well be the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen. Based on her expression, Juniper seems to agree, although for different reasons. As your hand drops back to your side, you try to compose yourself enough to focus on the task before you. Instead, someone breaks the quiet, boldly, daring to think that they would be rewarded for it.

“My Lady,” a servant says, stepping forward, shooting you a waywards glance. Instantly she has your employer’s attention, though that comes with the metallic sssssslk of her claws extending. There’s an unspoken threat that demands respect. None comes, however, just the frenzied words of a panicked maiden. “I know who your soulmate is, my Lady. I thought that perhaps you’d-”

“A name. Give me… a name,” Lady Dimitrescu interjects, claws still out and impatiently tapping on the tile floor. Tense, you start to step forward, wanting desperately to silence the treacherous maiden. But her tongue is faster than your fist, and soon enough your name is echoing through the room. “Oh? The one right behind me, hmm? Dreadfully convenient, really. Step forward, dear, and let me see the proof. Assuming it exists.” All eyes other than hers are on you, now. With a deep breath, you begrudgingly step in front of Lady Dimitrescu, trying not to even briefly glance at her chest (or worse, lower). One of her hands shifts, a long claw tilting your chin up. “Well?”

“Forgive the placement,” you mutter, awkwardly grabbing your shirt collar, tugging it down to reveal your soul mark, planted neatly on the center of your chest. If Lady Dimitrescu’s gaze wanders, it does so too quickly to be noticed, though she does make a low humming noise at the sight. Feeling much like a piece of meat on display at the butcher’s, you scowl deeply. Soon enough, but not as soon as you’d like, the claw under your chin retracts, and you once more cover up your soul mark. You can’t bring yourself to look your soulmate in the eyes.

“Hmm. Not what I expected. Not at all,” she muses, more to herself than to you, softly. Behind her, Juniper is sending you a sympathetic expression. All you can do, as Lady Dimitrescu judges you, is glare at the origin of this revelation. What did she think to gain by speaking up? Hadn’t she heard the same rumors that you had? Didn’t she know that your employer already loved another, even if that affection was unrequited? There was, simply put, no chance that you were the preferable option. Not when there was no race against neither time nor death. At best, you could be a distraction. Something to keep her mind off of the person she’d rather be with. “Go clean up, get some sustenance if you must, then go to my quarters. We will discuss this further there- after I am done here.”

With that said, she waves you off, letting you relax for the first time in several minutes. After giving a short bow, you immediately move to leave. On your way, you intentionally bump shoulders with the maiden who spoke up, sending her a glare, then give Juniper a nod of acknowledgement. Nervous wreck or not, she was the only person you ‘knew’ on the night shift. Not that such a thing would even matter soon. To think that we’ve been soulmates this whole time, you think, living in the same castle for months, never seeing each other. I wish things could have stayed that way. At least you’d have some time to process your developing situation. Though you doubted you’d have enough time.

---------------------------

In an unusual change of pace, Alcina dismisses the rest of her servants, long before her bath is done. They exchange glances before scattering to the winds. A heavy sigh leaves her lips, and she sinks lower into the tub. Of course I have a soulmate, she thinks, bitterly. I knew this. Knew that it wasn’t her, and yet still, I find myself surprised. Disappointed, even. How had an already rough evening gotten even worse? More than that, what was she supposed to do about it? There was a part of her that wanted to kill her soulmate. She figured that, with them out of the way, the universe might finally understand who she was meant to be with. After all, it wasn’t uncommon for ‘widows’ to be given a new match, and those were generally other ‘widows’. Considering that Alcina knew for a fact that Mother Miranda’s soulmate had long since died, she did not think that her hopes were beyond possibility.

But there was another part of her, quieter, that dared to be more realistic. If the universe said that this human, this tiny thing, was her soulmate… would it not make sense to at least try? What harm could it do, when her current love had been unrequited for so long? Was this not the end to several decades of loneliness? Damn it, she thinks, gripping the edge of the bathtub until her knuckles turned white. There was no denying it, now that a single drop of rational thought had corrupted her mind. Fuck it all, I hardly have a choice. Or anything to lose, for that matter. With her decision made, she rises to her feet, emotionally ready to face the unknown.

---------------------------

“Ah, so you do follow directions, after all. I half expected to learn that you had attempted to flee, or perhaps had a gruesome run in with one of my daughters,” Lady Dimitrescu chimes, as she ducks into her room. Inside, standing at attention, you await. All of your earlier nervousness returns, though this time it is tinged with your natural rage. Of all the monsters in the world, this was the one you were expected to love. It mattered not how tall she was, or how sharp her nails could be, or how fierce her loyalty to Mother Miranda. To you, it mattered that you had no choice in being here, that only a handful of servants had come to the castle willingly. It mattered that a single mistake could mean a cruel death. So you did not greet your soulmate with a smile, or excitement, rather with a forced bow and blank expression. Better to be dead than to fake true love. “Come now, do at least pretend that you are excited, for my sake. I have been waiting a century for this, after all.”

“Perhaps the universe found it difficult to find someone who could love you,” you say, the words tumbling out of your mouth, instant regret boiling up inside of you. What you expect is a swift death. What you get? A deep sigh, a scowl, a look of frustration. Still fearing your possible demise, you are quick to keep speaking. “Or maybe the universe heard me talk once, and struggled to find someone to tolerate me. Countless possibilities, a galaxy full of mysteries… and here we are. Forgive me for being crass, my Lady. I would blame it on my schedule change, but something tells me you would see right through that lie, yes?” Not like that was much better, you think, wondering how the hell you were going to survive this.

“You’re quite the character, aren’t you?... Do try not to make me regret this, I’d rather not kill my soulmate. Now, sit down, it’s about time for a proper introduction,” Lady Dimitrescu commands. Then she’s sitting on the edge of her bed, gently patting the spot next to her. Joining her is just about the last thing you want to do right now… but you obey nonetheless. Still, you angle yourself away from her ever so slightly, hoping the subtle body language would help you distance yourself from her. There’s something in her expression that tells you she knows exactly what you’re trying to do. “I am Lady Dimitrescu, though you already know that. You may call me Alcina… for now. Behave, or that is one of many privileges I will not hesitate to take from you. Understood?”

It takes all of your willpower to avoid rolling your eyes, but you manage, instead giving a short nod. This’ll be interesting, for sure.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 18)

Hiya! I'm posting late, on account of my job. Editing these takes about an hour depending on the post and inserting the images takes a little more, but I didn't have a solid block of time to work on it, so I worked on it in pieces and I only just now finished.

This arc highlights Natsume's powerlessness. He's distancing himself from Mikan to protect her, but by doing this, he leaves her defenseless at times. He wants to be there for her but can't because of the corner he's been pushed into, and in his desperation he turns to anonymity.

Chapter Eighty-One

Hotaru, Natsume, and Ruka are running after them, but are caught by Tsubasa, who asks them what their plan is, exactly. Ruka turns to Natsume, who turns to Hotaru, who pretends she was just practicing her running for the Festival and then the boys started following her for no reason. This comic relief is a badly-needed break from all the bullying and blackmail of the arc so far.

This arc is full of fun comic relief, but the main plot is so depressing and frustrating that sometimes the comic relief is not enough.

In any case, all three of them know that the others are all working to take care of Mikan, even if she doesn't know it. They're all looking out for her in their own ways, even Natsume who seems to have publicly turned against her. At least Hotaru and Ruka can see the truth: he's still quite concerned about it, but he's in something of a bind now.

The next we see of Natsume, he’s walking with Tsubasa, being spied on by both Hotaru and Ruka. It’s here that we discover that Tsubasa has been transferred to the DA class, but is keeping this secret from Mikan. Moreover, he and Natsume are on a mission to locate Yuka, and they’re both aware that Mikan is her daughter. It’s interesting to know just how much information the DA class has on the other students that the other kids have no clue about. Hotaru and Ruka are shocked by this information, but for us as readers, it also demonstrates just how much work Natsume--and Tsubasa--are putting into protecting Mikan.

All this information is stuff they have to consider on their missions. They want to protect Yuka, because she’s Mikan’s mother, but they have no choice but to pursue and chase after her with raids and attacks. On top of that, Tsubasa is keeping his new ability class a secret, and Natsume has to hurt her with this Luna farce. It’s a lot to put on two kids, not that the ESP or Persona have much issue putting pressure on kids.

For Natsume in particular, it was fun while it lasted, being close to Mikan. He had relished and enjoyed it, and now he has to change pace. He’s willing to, because that’s how he can keep her smiling and having fun, even if he’s not on her team and can’t even be in her inner circle anymore. He’s willing to sacrifice anything for her, but we can see that it’s not any fun for him. Mikan is suffering in sadness, yes, but so is Natsume.

The next thing he has to do only makes things worse.

He confronts Mikan about the rumor Luna made up, about Mikan showing her underwear to the Fuukitai to avoid punishment. It’s obviously bogus: Mikan would never even think to do that, let alone actually do it. He knows that too, because Natsume knows her very well. He asks because he has to.

Mikan avoids answering, brushing it off as none of Natsume’s business, because she is also under Luna’s watchful gaze. So they end up having an argument in front of everyone, both not saying what they really mean, and instead doing as Luna commands, to keep everyone safe. Mikan points out that she isn’t his partner--or anything--anymore, so he should mind his business. Natsume then asks if that means his concern is a bother, and she confirms: yes. It’s a big fat pain.

It's heartbreaking and frustrating in equal spades.

It’s almost as if Natsume was testing something. Now he knows that Luna must have threatened Mikan in the storeroom. Something sinister happened there, and now Mikan is different, dishonest, mean. That’s not what she’s actually like, and now he’s concerned. Luna’s shadow is spreading and it’s threatening to encroach on Mikan’s light.

Chapter Eighty-Two

Natsume walks off, having heard all he needs to hear.

Luna is causing mayhem and strife to punish Mikan and Natsume specifically for their misbehavior on New Year’s. She wants Mikan to be isolated from Natsume in particular because he’s her number one protector. If there’s a wedge between them, Mikan is easier to target. After all, Mikan’s purpose at the academy is to lure in Yuka, and the more danger she is in, the more likely Yuka is to try and save her daughter. If Natsume is around, threatening Mikan becomes tricky. He’d never allow anything bad to happen to her, hence his desperation and sacrifice in this arc. In order to fulfill their goals regarding Yuka, they need Natsume out of Mikan’s picture.

Of course, despite Natsume’s secret intel being superior to Ruka or Hotaru’s (and definitely to Mikan’s), he’s still not entirely in the know. Yuka being the main target, for example, is information Natsume is not privy to, and couldn’t even imagine. This is a game Natsume is unaware that he cannot win. If he doesn’t distance himself from Mikan, she’ll be threatened, but if he does, she’ll be threatened. In reality, there's no way he can win this round.

Chapter Eighty-Three

Anyway, the Sports Fest doesn’t slow down for the kids’ drama. The athletic meets have begun, and now there is a relay race.

Ruka and Natsume are on different teams for the relay, and this has inspired Ruka to beat his best friend, so he can be number one in Mikan’s eyes for once.

I will talk way more about the “love triangle” aspect of NatsuMikan and the question of choice, autonomy, and agency in Mikan’s essay, because when it comes to Natsume's side of things, he's very much resigned to losing every romantic game, every relay race, every competition. It's no contest. He's not competing. He's withdrawn from the race, now more than ever. He will not participate. He is destined to lose, after all, so why even bother?

And so Ruka wins the actual relay, and Natsume watches as everyone has fun without him, something that he’s been accustomed to before. It hurts more now, undoubtedly, because for a time, he was actually a part of the group. Knowing what it feels like to fit in and have fun with everyone makes it even worse when it’s gone again. He used to separate himself from the rest and suffer all on his own, but now he’s returned to that state.

He hasn’t quite let go, either. His effort and commitment to the Sports Fest, despite all the drama with Mikan and Luna, demonstrate just how much he actually wants to participate. It’s not about having his friends around him. He actually likes being able to have fun, and be allowed to take part in an event with everyone else, even if he isn’t technically by his friends’ sides.

His bad feelings are only exacerbated by Luna, who shows up to taunt him. He shouldn’t worry about Mikan and Ruka, because they’ll be torn apart eventually. Whatever happiness they find right now is temporary. It won’t last, and Luna will make sure of it.

But Natsume loves both Mikan and Ruka, and that does not reassure him at all. He’s selfless, would rather they be together anyway. In a perfect world, maybe she could pick him, and it makes him sad that the world isn’t perfect and he can’t have what he wants, but he’s always at peace with losing. So he’s not at all comforted by the idea that the happiness his loved ones have found will dissipate in no time.

Chapter Eighty-Four

Luna then giggles, because whether or not Ruka and Mikan’s being split apart will result in Natsume’s happiness is another question entirely. She wants to rub it in that even if Ruka is out of the picture, he can never be with Mikan. Joke’s on her though, because Natsume has already come to terms with this the moment he fell in love with Mikan. He hasn’t been humoring ideas of love confessions and weddings and living happily ever after. It’s outside the realm of possibility, because his circumstances do not allow him much happiness at all.

The future seems bleaker than ever, and knowing that Ruka and Mikan are being kept under watch by the school, Natsume keeps an eye on them too. He’s feeling sad and heart-broken too, of course. He’s not perfect. He can’t erase feelings of jealousy or the ache of unrequited love just because he feels it’s his duty to make peace with them. It hurts, but he’ll carry through. That’s what he’s always done.

But people are gossiping about his presence, putting his position in jeopardy. Luna can’t know he’s still hanging around Mikan, even if Mikan herself is clueless to this. Before he can be discovered, he steals someone’s mask, the mask of a boy named Kusami whose hairstyle looks an awful lot like Natsume’s.

If only he could be allowed to just steal people's identities and not have to face any consequences for it. Alas.

Unfortunately for Natsume, the Borrowing Race is about to begin, and Kusami was arranged to be a participant. He put the mask on to avoid responsibility for his spying, but it’s bit him in the butt now.

Kusami benefits from this, indirectly, since kids who call him moron get the cold shoulder from Natsume, who doesn’t have the same easy-going personality.

It seems nobody actually wants to participate in the Borrowing Race. It’s very personal and vulnerable: you have to borrow a person or item you’d least want to borrow, as dictated on a small piece of paper assigned to you. It’s then judged by some mind-reading alices to test the validity of the borrowed items. The concept of the race functions around embarrassing and humiliating people, so naturally nobody would want to participate.

Natsume has gotten himself into trouble here. He can’t even make a run for it, though he really wants to, because for some reason people are hell-bent on Kusami competing. He’s in the second round, and starts running as he--or Kusami--is supposed to. He gets his paper and although we don’t see what’s written on it quite yet, we can see a focus on Mikan in one of the panels, so we can tell his first thought is to borrow her.

To confess anonymously in front of the whole school or to not confess anonymously in front of the whole school--that is the question.

And then in a few pages, emboldened by the mask he’s wearing, Natsume runs toward Mikan and grabs her wrist. He’s decided he will borrow her, because maybe she’ll never find out his true identity, and he can be selfish just this once. This could be his only chance ever to be honest about how he feels. He's had to lie and hide it for so long that it makes sense he'd take the first opportunity available to go for it. This is quite possibly the most selfish thing he’s done. If he gets caught, he’ll be entirely exposed.

Unlike Ruka, Natsume can't really win this race. He won't be number one in Mikan's eyes, ever. He can't ever tell her it's all for her. The very best he can do is compete with a mask on. Ruka can try his hardest and impress Mikan and Natsume feels he never will. It's not much of a competition when one person cannot and will not compete.

He runs, despite her confusion and obliviousness, or perhaps because of it.

And just as the fireworks displaying his prompt start going off in the sky, he lets her go and walks away resolutely. There. He’s participated.

“The person you love.”

Mikan is chasing after Natsume, but he can’t be caught. Being caught would ruin everything, and would make his selfish act even more selfish. He shoves the mask back into Kusami’s face, and takes off.

You'd think he'd be a bit happier to have finally confessed his feelings but he just looks miserable.

Natsume has been very selfish now. He didn’t have to grab Mikan. He could’ve borrowed anybody and lost. Does it matter if he wins? He’s not Kusami. He could’ve just gotten the race over with and run away, but instead he played along, because he wanted to confess. He’s never been so honest in his life. He wants her to know he loves her, even if she doesn’t know who “he” is. And if he gets caught, then Mikan will know for a fact that Natsume Hyuuga loves her, and everything he’s done so far--hyping up Ruka, distancing himself, being cruel to protect her, allowing Luna to cling to him--will have been for nothing. She’ll know it was all a ruse, and then she’ll be open to all sorts of dangers. But he risks it, because he just can’t hide it anymore. He always has to hide, always has to pretend, always has to sacrifice his own feelings for the sake of others. This time, he’ll say exactly what he means, made all the more easier by the fact that there’s a mask on his face.

He’s done something like this before, particularly when he kissed Mikan on Christmas.

And the Christmas kiss is nothing compared to this: an actual love confession. The kiss was just that, and he had plenty of excuses for why he’d kiss her. It wasn’t because he loved her, no way! It was because she kept saying the other one didn’t count. Or maybe he just wanted to know what it felt like. That’s all. The excuses were just another mask to hide behind.

What excuse could he possibly give for a love confession that a panel of mind-reading judges corroborated? If he’s caught, she will know.

All his tiny instances of selfishness are smaller examples of the same idea: he lets himself be affectionate for once. He can say he prefers her with her hair down, or hug her during the SA class labyrinth, or cuddle with her when he’s having a nightmare, just this one time, and then he’ll give up for good. She won’t notice. It won’t have an effect. It won’t have consequences. He’ll give up for good after; he’ll just do this one selfish thing and then never again. But he can’t give it up, and eventually Christmas happens. He kisses her, unloading so much affection into one action, as if he’s trying to just get it over with. He’ll just get all his love out with one kiss and then he’ll be okay to watch her fall in love with anybody else but him.

But he can’t. He can’t stop doing these little selfish things. He can’t suffocate his love and leave it to die, hidden and smothered like a skeleton in a closet. Despite his every attempt to kill it, to hide it, to pretend like it’s not important, it has only grown stronger. He loves her more and more everyday, and the more he loves her, the harder it is to pretend like he doesn’t care if he never gets what he wants.

He wants to be with her. He wants to kiss her and protect her openly. He wants to sit next to her in class and smile with her. He wants to spend time with her and be on her team for school events. He wants to hold her hand and tell her he loves her.

He doesn’t want to give it all up and wreck his own chances.

The longer he’s loved Mikan, the harder it’s been to be selfless like this. The yearning has only gotten stronger, and now it takes all his power to be cruel to her. What used to come naturally, like being cold and distant and insulting her, has become difficult. What comes naturally to him now is to confess his love or hold her hand or be around her.

Despite the fact that Natsume was the only person who seems to have borrowed the correct person for the race, the White team still loses, on account of him not actually being Kusami.

At the end of the chapter, he sits alone, brooding in a tree.

He hasn’t been caught, so his actions have no consequences for now. He can sit there and mourn what could have been. He can’t be with Mikan, let alone confess his feelings. This was just an excuse to live out a fantasy. He wants to be loud about his feelings, not muffle them. But this is Natsume we’re talking about. He never gets what he wants. And in his opinion, he shouldn’t because Ruka deserves a happy ending way more. And Mikan would never love him back anyway. Ruka would be better for her.

This is just another instance of Natsume promising himself that he’ll do one more selfish thing before he gives up forever. But we know he’s bad at keeping his word, and this is no exception.

Chapter Eighty-Five

Before Mikan can confront Natsume about the borrowing race, Luna steps in, covering for him, claiming she was watching with him from the bleachers during the race. She clings to his arm and drags him off, spurring even more rumors that he and Luna are an item.

She's so violent with him for really no reason.

He tells her to get off, but she reminds him that she’s just done him a favor (though it’s really just a favor to herself). She grabs his hand and holds it tight, and again people get the wrong idea. It’s interesting how such physically painful things come across as romantic to the people around them, who think that Luna is simply holding his hand. Natsume’s persistent look of misery and apathy doesn’t deter people at all from rumors that he’s dating her. After all, Luna is clinging to him with a smile on her face and he’s not doing anything to peel her off, so it must mean they have feelings for each other. Natsume has been so good at hiding his feelings, that nobody--not even the girl he really loves--knows what it looks like when he’s loving and affectionate to somebody. They think he's into Luna, and can't see that what he really needs is help.

Chapter Eighty-Six

Luna has just arranged a terrifying fall for Mikan, knowing she’d use her alice as a knee-jerk reaction to save herself, thus causing others to think she did it for the attention. Mikan could’ve been seriously injured, or worse, and is definitely in trouble now, so Natsume is furious.

He confronts Luna, and the only thing stopping him from hurting her is that he could put Mikan in even more danger by doing so. But Luna is remorseless, giggling that she had no choice but to threaten Mikan. After all, she’s just doing what the principal said they’d do. Mikan should have been put in Persona’s custody in the DA class immediately following the Hana Hime party incident, but Natsume’s sacrifices have allowed her to skate by. Luna is there to observe and punish what she perceives as bad behavior, and anything less than abject misery from Mikan is bad behavior to her.

She warns Natsume: if he really wants to protect Mikan, then he’ll make sure she’s hated. That way, she won’t be in danger.

Powerlessness.

Natsume can’t go around confessing his love to her with a mask on anymore. He needs to sacrifice their relationship entirely in order to keep her safe. And so he does.

He’s sitting on a bench, surrounded by his classmates. Permy is adamantly defending Mikan. These rumors that Mikan fell on purpose for the attention are obviously stemming from Luna, who has the whole class wrapped around her finger. She turns to Natsume, looking for back-up, but Natsume has been told clearly what to do in order to really protect Mikan, and it has nothing to do with standing up for her against these rumors.

Instead, he says that it’s best not to be involved with Mikan anymore. He doesn’t want to see her or hear about her anymore, and he doesn’t want to associate with anyone who associates with her. He tries to give off the impression that he hates her, that he’s disgusted by her.

Then he sees that she’s been there all along, listening.

This is almost like the scene where he tells her he hates everything about her. He’s doing the hard thing to protect her. He’s lying, willing to hurt her, willing to be the villain, if it means she’s in the light and out of the dark.

But this is different.

Mikan could take it before. She yelled back that she hated him too, just as much, and even though that was a lie, it was still something she was able to say. She could argue and fight. This time she crumbles and runs away.

And he’s different too. Before, he could walk away, resolute and determined. Knowing that she’ll be better off this way was enough for him. He didn’t even look back. This time, he can’t leave things like that.

After all, last time was easier. He didn’t think she actually liked him back then. It would really only hurt him. He knows better now. Mikan cares about him, and it doesn’t matter what shape that care takes. It only matters that hearing Natsume call her worthless brings her to tears now, and that’s enough for him to feel way more conflicted.

This time, he apologizes.

He doesn't say he's sorry, but he's saying he's sorry.

He finds Kusami, steals his mask once again, never saying one word to a kid who has been generously keeping his secret for him. He runs after Mikan, and when he finally catches up to her, he hugs her.

Wearing the mask while hugging her is like wearing a raincoat in a hurricane. It won’t change anything or protect him at all. In fact, all he’s doing is giving her confirmation that it’s him, but he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t want her to think he hates her. He can’t stand it anymore. He’s sorry and he didn’t mean it.

He hugs her and this is different from his selfish hugs during the RPG or when he was having a nightmare. Those were little stolen moments for him to remember. He could take them from Mikan and cherish them as precious memories, even if she never thought of them again. This one is different. This one is for her, to comfort her, to apologize.

It’s all the things he can’t say. I didn’t mean it. Sorry. I have to do this. I really do care about you, I promise. It’s not real. Luna’s making me do this.

But before she can turn around to look at him, he leaves again.

He knows, because of Luna’s warning, that Mikan’s life will only get harder. He wants to help her, but by helping her, he’s placing himself further from her, making it harder for him to protect her in the future. If he’s distant from her to keep Luna at bay, then he’s not around to protect her from Luna in the storeroom, or during the cheerleading competition.

It’s what one might call a Catch-22. No matter what he chooses, he loses. And the worst part is that so does Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume isn't an active participant in the last few chapters of this arc, so this is how I'll wrap the meta here. In the next arc there will be much to say about him. The Sports Fest went deep into Natsume's love for Mikan. It's not surprising that his love inspires selflessness. Natsume will always put others in front of himself and the more he loves someone, the more fervent he is about self-sacrifice. The truly beautiful thing about Natsume's love for Mikan is that it inspires selfishness too. And I never mean selfish as bad when I'm talking about Natsume. His love for Mikan is special in that it makes him want things for himself too.

I'm having doubts about being able to post tomorrow, so I apologize for only two posts this week. Expect normal posting next week at the very least! This essay is probably more than halfway through already, though I can't say for sure how much is left. Where I am now in terms of essay-writing is already deep in the Time-Travel Arc and as a result there's entire chapters I've skipped. Like. Seven in a row at times. Yikes. So basically we're pretty far in!

<- Previous Next ->

[vivianweasley]

Let Her Go (F.W. x Reader)

Summary: “Only know you love her when you let her go.” childhood friends to lovers, unrequited love

Prompt: This is for @vogueweasley‘s 1K writing challenge and the prompt is #44 “What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.” Congrats again lovely!!

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst to a bit of fluff, unrequited love, mention of alcohol (Fred being drunk), language (one curse word), Fred being stupid

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: Did I write another friends to lovers with unrequited love? Yes, but I love this idea and I’m just writing to cope. The inspiration is Let Her Go by Passenger! Hope you guys would like it! (Also, let’s pretend they used telephone)

Special thanks to @valwritesx for the support<3

Disclaimer: all the pictures used in the header are from Pinterest. Credit goes to the original owners.

Please do NOT repost or translate my work on another site without explicit permission! Thank you! Reblogs and comments are always welcome:)

In your memories, you were always following Fred Weasley around.

You followed him around when he and George were throwing dungbombs in their neighbor’s garden. You were six, and he was seven.

You followed him around when it was your first year at Hogwarts. You were an awkward first year, but he has already established quite a reputation.

You followed him everywhere. Whether it was a quidditch game or detention, you were always there with him. Some people called you his sidekick, but you never really minded because you were absolutely head over heels for him.

You knew he knew about your stupid little crush; you weren’t trying to hide your feelings anyway. And you knew that your feelings weren’t reciprocated, but that didn’t matter. Loving him was your own business. Plus, you knew that at least you meant something to him, so you’ve still got a chance.

You loved him with all your heart and without a doubt. It was one-sided and lonely, but you never cared. Well, at least not until now.

~

It was your party to celebrate receiving a brilliant job offer from America. All of your friends were there.

“I’m so happy for you! But I’m also gonna miss you a lot!” George exclaimed for like the twentieth time today.

You chuckled, “I know, Georgie, I’ll miss you too! And I’m not leaving until the end of the next month. I’ve still got a lot to take care of before I go.” Now that you were actually talking about leaving, the whole concept of living in another country so far away finally began to feel more realistic. “There are just so many things and people I’ll miss.”

“By people, you mean Fred, right?” Ginny teased, “Speaking of which, where is he?”

“I don’t know. He promised he would come,” you replied, couldn’t control the blush that was climbing up your cheeks.

Ginny was right. Of course you were going to miss all of your friends dearly, but you were also going to miss Fred just a little more than the others. And that’s why you were a bit disappointed that he was so late to your party. You couldn’t stop yourself from checking the clock and the door every now and then. The butterflies in your stomach started dancing whenever you heard something outside, but they always die down when you realized it wasn’t him.

The clock soon struck 12, and when you were saying goodbye to the last of the guests, you finally accepted the fact that Fred was not going to show up tonight. 

~

You were helping at the joke shop the next day, and it was already noon when you heard Fred walking down the stairs. 

“Morning,” you could still hear the sleepiness in his voice, and you could tell from his messy hair and puffy eyes that it was a hangover. You frowned a little but you tried not to overthink. Surely he had a good reason, right?

“It’s already noon, brother,” George asked the question for you, “where were you last night?”

“I ran into Lee after work, and we went to the pub. Why?”

“Why? It was Y/N’s party last night, you forgot?”

“Wait, it was last night? Ah shit, I forgot. I’m sorry Y/N,” he turned to look at you. You could see the sorry on his face, but you couldn’t hear it in his voice. You knew that expression all too well. It was the same reaction whenever he got caught playing pranks on someone. He was saying that he’s sorry, but you knew he didn’t mean it.

“Fred, you do realize that she’s leaving soon, right?” George was finding this unbelievable too.

“Oh c’mon, last time I checked, we still have something called a portkey. And I’m sure Y/N will be visiting us pretty often, right Y/N?” The carelessness in his voice stung you.

Hurt, mixed with anger, was rushing to your brain. It was the moment that struck you, a moment that should have happened a long time ago. 

You always thought that even though Fred didn’t love you back, at least you were still a very important friend to him. But now you’ve finally realized that maybe this was just another self-comforting lie. It was not the first time he forgot something about you, and it seemed like he never cared anyway. 

“What am I in your life?” You asked quietly, “Because as of lately, I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”

“What are you saying? Y/N, you’re not making any sense.”

“I always thought it’s alright that my feelings aren’t reciprocated because it’s just my own business. But I’m not just that stupid girl who has a crush on you; I’m also your friend! And friends shouldn’t treat friends like nothing.” Your voice sounded calm, but tears were streaming down your face, “It was always me who’s looking for you and thinking about you, but friendship takes two, Fred. Maybe you should start trying too.” 

Then you just stormed out of the joke shop, before George could try to talk you round and before Fred could probably tell a joke to laugh it off.

~

One week later, you left for your new job in a hurry. You said goodbye to every one of your friends, except for Fred. 

Fred was feeling guilty but also confused. Why did you snap like that? What he did was surely just a small mistake, right? And he wasn’t too worried. He was sure that you would forgive him and come back to him. You always do. In fact, he was convinced that he could see you again the next holiday. 

Halloween night, George had plans, so Fred was in charge of closing up tonight. Looking at the empty bowl of sweets on the counter, Fred thought about you. You always remembered to fill it up, especially around Halloween.

The autumn wind was getting cold, and he pulled his coat tighter as he walked outside. The kids on the street were all dressed up, going from door to door trick-or-treating. Fred remembered how you two and George would always go trick-or-treating together on Halloween since you were kids. Even after you all grew up, you would still drag him to go with you. But now he was walking alone in his business suit, on his way home. This moment he felt as if the kid inside him has left with you.

When he got home, he turned on the TV and started switching channels absentmindedly. You should be there, suggesting to watch a horror movie, but then deciding on something family-friendly. You would always try to have a Halloween movie marathon but end up falling asleep, lying on his shoulder. He found it adorable, but he never told you that.

Fred sighed as he laid back on the couch. This was the first Halloween without you.

~

Christmas morning, Fred walked downstairs, noticing something was different in the air. The Burrow was quieter. Sure, most of his family were already up and were gathered around the Christmas tree, chatting and laughing. But you weren’t there.

You weren’t there, showing up at the Burrow way too early in the morning. You weren’t there knocking on his door and waking him up using a cheerful, sing-song voice. He would always groan and tell you to give him five more minutes. But this year, when he woke up to the mechanical sound of the alarm clock, he really missed your cheerful voice.

Fred walked downstairs with everyone wishing him a Merry Christmas, but his eyes were searching the crowd for a glimpse of you that was just impossible to be found. This was the first Christmas without you.

~

New Year’s Eve, Fred and George were at the local pub’s New Year countdown party, along with the other boys. Just like usual, the boys had too much drink and passed out in the pub.

When Fred was only half-awake, he heard your voice calling him, “Freddie! C’mon, let’s get you home!” A soft smile appeared on his lips. You were back! He knew you would be back for the new year. He knew you wouldn’t leave him for too long.

You were always there to pick him up and carry him home after New Year’s party. He was always amazed at how you managed to carry him as he was taller than you, but you were always there for him. He just felt so lucky now to have you in his life, and seeing you in front of him made him smile like an idiot.

You were frowning seeing him lying on the floor, but you soon gave in when you saw that smile. You chuckled and whispered, “Happy New Year, Freddie.” 

The soft smile stayed on Fred’s lips. He felt at home.

When Fred woke up again, he found himself lying on the floor of the pub. The pub was already empty. The boys were already gone. Someone must have picked them up, but there was no one for him. He finally began to realize that it was just a dream. You were still in America, and he was still a loser who’s lying alone on the cold floor on the first day of the new year. 

Fred managed to walk out of the pub. The freezing wind was slapping on his face, trying to sober him up. He walked past a coffee shop. That was your favorite. 

You were all he could think of now. Fred knew that you had a crush on him, but he always believed that it was just a stupid little childhood crush and it would fade as soon as you all grow up. He was just too familiar with you, and familiarity wasn’t what he thought he was looking for in romance.

But you were already in every part of his life. No matter where he goes or what he does, you were always there. But now you weren’t.

There was the first time Fred told a joke, and you weren’t the first to laugh. He loved the way you laugh, for it could always brighten up his whole day, but he never admitted it. 

There was the first time he was humming a song, and you weren’t there to sing along. He loved your voice, for it could always calm him down, but he wouldn’t tell you that.

There was the first time when he realized that he needed you in his life.

The first time when he realized that he loved you more than he thought he did.

It was like muscle memory for him to remember everything about you, but he wasn’t even aware of that, and you obviously didn’t know too. Instead of showing you how much he loved and appreciated you, he just took you for granted because he thought you would never leave. 

Fred dialed your number that night. He thought he might go crazy if he couldn’t hear your voice tonight. As he waited for you to pick up, he felt the inside of his stomach were all twisted together, but it was soon replaced by butterflies when he heard your voice.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N, it’s me, Fred,” he didn’t know why he stuttered, “S-so, I was wondering...do you know where is the photo of us at the station? It was your first year of school. Did you take it with you?”

“No, I gave it to George. Why?” He couldn’t tell your emotion through the phone. Were you annoyed? Or were you happy to hear his voice too?

“Oh, umm, nothing, just missing the old days.” 

“Oh, okay...Anything else?”

There were so many things that he wanted to say. He wanted to tell you that he’s sorry and he missed you so much, but you sounded impatient. So all he managed to say was, “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

There was a few seconds of silence; then he heard you reply, “Happy New Year, Fred.”

Hanging up the phone, Fred felt his heart sank. He hated how emotionless you sounded, and he knew he had to do something. Maybe he couldn’t convince you to come back to him, but at least he owed you an apology.

~

Valentine’s Day. Evening, you walked out of the building you worked in. It was on a wizarding street just like Diagon Alley, so it didn’t take you too long to adjust to the new environment. 

The shops on this street were all having Valentine’s specials, and it reminded you of the Valentine’s specials of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Fred always had the most interesting and romantic ideas-you shook your head. You promised yourself not to think about him anymore.

A shop at the corner captured your attention. You’ve never seen this shop before. You looked for the name of the shop and the sign above read “WWW’.

Just when you thought you were losing your mind and associating everything with Fred again, the shop owner walked out. 

Fred smiled when he saw you. The same beaming smile that had you head over heels for him for as long as you could remember. “Hi, I'm new here. Would you mind showing me around?”

~

A/N: Sorry if the ending feels a bit rushed! I felt like it made sense to end here so the reader could decide if she wants to forgive him or not. 

taglist: @valwritesx @protect-remus @zaphdekota @glimmering-darling-dolly @dogweedanddeathcaps @gloryekaterina @reenfluffmarshmallow @wand3ringr0s3 @heavenlymidnight @hunnybunimdun @izzyyy-1 @magicalxdaydream @starlightweasley @shadowsinger11 @idont-knowrn @thisismynerdyself @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @levylovegood @cinammonjae @mrbillymontgomery @slytherinsunrise @rosemusic18 @sarcasticallywitty15​ @ac127​ @1127203457 

Join My Tag List!

[ephemerlskies]

constant craving | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: drabble series, angst, unrequited love, idiot!jungkook, idiot!oc, basically everyone's an idiot

⇢ word count: 1.7k

⇢ warnings: unreciprocated pining, explicit language, themes of hopeless romanticism (!!), (slightly) unedited

⇢ summary: your best friend decided to confide in his best friend on how to win his girlfriend back after a fight. you tell him exactly what to say to her, however he is unaware that what you were saying was a sincere delivery of your once undeclared love.

♪ playlist: constant craving - k.d. lang, bad religion - frank ocean, misunderstood - lucky daye, neu roses - daniel caesar ♪

╰ series index: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 (final)

a/n: hello my little loves!! this was definitely ;) not ;) an impulse write and release ;) ;) sorry for being so inactive lately. i've been focusing on myself (i know how cliche that sounds but it's true). anyway, enjoy this incredibly angsts fic i wrote at 2 am for absolutely no reason at all other than i'm an emotional sadist and a masochist. love u!!!! <3

part one: control

He was coming over for the third time this week. Third time. Three times is two more times than he'd gone over his girlfriend's house, but you did everything in your power to convince your inconvincible heart that it meant nothing. Friends see each other more than their girlfriends, right?

It was making a racket in your chest, that muscle that strained much harder for a man who had his pumping for the girl of his dreams.

But, he was coming over for the third time this week.

The first time he said this visit ranked, in his words, 'out of the question' on the degree of necessary that he come over and show you Star Wars. You played a good game of reluctance when asking if it was the entire series or just one movie, and in your head, you hoped to God it was the entire series. For him, you'd watch the series four times over if it meant you sat through this outrageously nerdy movie next to the even more outrageously nerdy love of your life.

The second time was particularly funny to you. He called while you were cooking dinner, almost as if he was in stride with you in a way that was an ounce too synchronized to be platonic, and asked if you were whipping up a delicious meal that he could mooch off of. Knowing he was a terrible cook, plus the fact that when he begged so politely you felt your posture unbind into to a puddle, you more than happily obliged.

This time, the circumstances made it harder to say yes, but not yet impossible. And it was a second or two before you heard that knock on the front door that had your once pounding heart come to a complete halt. It was still, waiting for you to make a decision.

Since it was Jungkook, of course, you'd say yes. And your heart would continue beating. Beating, as in sending sharp jabs that stained the inside of your chest with bruises. Beating, as in when the time came, the final blow of your constantly craving heart would devastate your entire being.

"Thank you so much, ___. God, I'm such an idiot." He walked in with all the confidence of someone who was a bit too familiar with your company. Jungkook's feet reintroducing themselves to your floors in the same manner as he would the night before, and the night before that, and the countless nights you kept secured in your collection of memories. As if he belonged there; as if he was coming home.

"An idiot with a great friend." That last word nearly withdrew the bile you had been ever so gracefully holding in.

"Yeah yeah." And he was comfortable with that same word, 'friend', that deepened your bruises into scars. He had absolutely no clue. Idiot. "I can't believe I broke up with her. I was so angry and acted on that instead of logic. Fuck, why would I do that to myself? I love her."

"Well, you never know. Maybe..." You hated yourself for not resisting the selfish temptation that was about to fall from your lips. The words you've been internally screaming to him to leave her and fall in love with you instead were diluted to something much more tame when your tongue formed them into sound.

"Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you guys are better off apart? To, um, grow or whatever."

"No." He said that with too much certainty and too little hesitance and just enough conviction to sink another wound in the organ exhausting itself in your chest. "She's the one. I know it"

"Jungkook."

He looked at you with all the earnestness of a man who carved his utmost and unchanging dedication to her. A look that any love-induced sap would kill for. A look he would never direct towards you.

Your eyes weren't under your control as of now. The glue that held them to his eyes, his lips, his hair, and every other part of him you dreamed of was more than a marathoned yearning. It was an adhesive twelve years in the making, not showing the slightest sign of wearing away.

"The way you love is something to die for..." And then he smiled at you, but still not for you.

You were utterly crushed.

"She'll take you back in a heartbeat. I mean, she has a brain, so of course, she will. Anyone would."

I would.

"I hope you're right." The couch was four feet wide at most, but there was an impressively vast space between you and the man who was sitting next to you. "Can you tell me what to say? You know I suck with words."

"Uh... Yeah. Of course. Anything."

If breaking hearts were a crime, then Jungkook would have much to atone for. You'd be convicted as a willing accomplice for holding on this long. Up until this point, you've let every small glance, every shy smile he sent your way, every eyebrow twitch conveying a meaning only you knew well enough to retrieve him from whatever awkward situation he needed rescuing from, every accidentally brush of his hand against yours, every purposeful embrace that lasted so long your tears stained his right shoulder string you into a knot of miserable, unrequited love.

And up until this point, you had hope he would choose you.

Each ring of his phone worked in tandem to reduce your undying devotion to Jungkook into a compressed seed of denial.

I don't love him. He's just my best friend.

Your pulse pronounced itself loudly in your ears, as a not-so-gentle reminder of how much you hated him for loving him. Somehow, your heart beat faster. Then again, anything was possible when it came to him. Anything except the miraculous event of him hanging up, declaring his love for you, and living in the land of happily ever after that only existed in your deluded imagination.

"Hey Irene! I'm so fucking glad you picked up."

He gave you that look. With the arched eyebrow, his widened doe eyes, and the slightly hung jaw, you read each feature better than words and nodded to signal you knew exactly what he needed.

"I'm sorry about what happened." You said, in a whisper, though the deflated volume of your words carried no implication of the unbridled sincerity sealed in them.

"I'm sorry about what happened." He repeated, laying down that same Irene-contrived smile on you that fostered a smile of your own, knowing fully it surfaced as a reflex from hearing her voice.

"It might be crazy to try this, because I don't know how you feel."

If the thing people say about your life flashing before your eyes during encounters with death, then you were sure your heart was about to consume its last pulse of blood. The scenes of you and Jungkook spending your Friday nights when you were a ripe city dweller in your shoebox apartment doing everything and nothing at all had convinced you that you were certainly about to go into cardiac arrest.

"It might be crazy to say this, because I don't know how you feel." Jungkook was so many things, however emotionally perceptive was not one of them.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you." Those words tasted sweet despite fermenting in a chamber of your heart you kept preserved since, as you said, the very moment you met him.

"But I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you."

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

He repeated your words, but dehydrated all of your sentiment from them. You were left with the remnants of the feelings, and none of the words from him you were so desperately starved of. He took them right from your throat, along with the very breath that seemed to keep returning because of Jungkook, molded them into his own, into a sequence of sounds that were meant for Irene. You were left hungry, breathless, and forever wanting.

"No matter what, I'd choose you. It doesn't matter how mad I am or how annoyed I am, I will choose you because if I know anything in this damn, cruel, punishing world, then I know that I'd rather be angry, annoyed, or anything else with you than without you."

Irene must have been smiling right about now. Who wouldn't smile hearing those things from someone like Jungkook?

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Then, you began to ask yourself another question.

If you make me complete, Jungkook, will my story ever end?

You knew the answer to that. You swore your heart beat in a morse code that told you everything you needed to know.

"Because with you, I'm complete. My story can't end if I'm incomplete. Please, choose me back. Complete me. That's all I ask."

Jungkook looked to you, before Irene could form the proper response, and smiled. It was the third time he smiled at you today because of course, you were keeping track. You knew it was his own physically linguistic version of a 'thank you' or a 'you're a life saver' but somehow, to you, it translated to something similar to a 'goodbye'.

Your legs miraculously rose and carried you to the back porch. The sun was just beginning to dip in the horizon, proliferating a warm orange that was about to subside to an indistinguishable and unpredictable dusk. Whatever color came after the sunset, you were ready to accept it, to memorize how it reflected against a world without the possibility of him. And even though the night will always embody undertones of orange, it was time to focus on the colors around it.

It was time to let go.

a/n: i might make this into a drabble series!!! if anyone would be interested in that please let me know :)) thank you for readinggggg <3

[ismokechurros]

misunderstandings - ao3

When his mark first appeared, he hated it. He was five and didn't quite like that the first thing he would ever hear his soulmate say would be

"I'm sorry."

What did that mean? Would his soulmate hurt him? Would that be the very first thing they did? That can't bode well for a long term relationship. 

Besides that depressing thought, another issue he had with it was how common it was. People apologized every day, how was he supposed to find her?

His first mistake was thinking it was his kindergarten teacher, who apologized after he ran into her feet. It was hard to explain to his parents why he got sent to the principal's office on his first day of school, hugging a teacher's leg and professing your undying love for them isn't exactly a common offense. 

After that, he tried not to get too excited when he heard those words. And as time went by, he succeeded. Slowly, his head stopped shooting up everytime someone near him apologized, his heart rate stopped skyrocketing when a passerby said sorry, he grew to feel the general disdain and doubt most feel in accompaniment with apologies. 

Those two, meaningless words scrawled at the top of his right bicep were left ignored and he went on forgetting they existed for the better part of 17 years.

----------

She was five when her mark appeared, too, though that seemed to be a common age for the mark's development so she wasn't exactly surprised. What she was surprised by was the 

"You're okay."

now sprawled on the bottom right side of her neck. An odd place for an odd mark. 

In her five-year-old indignation, she resented the fact that her mark was telling her what she was. She could be not okay if she wanted to be, who was her soulmate to tell her that she wasn't! 

A stupid fight to pick, and one she dropped after about two minutes. That was how long it took before the girl next to Nancy screamed and then started crying. Apparently, Amy didn't like that the first words her soulmate would say to her would be asking for her starbucks order. 

Nancy decided it could be worse.

---------

Working at The Claw can't be that bad, Nancy thinks as she enters the restaurant for her first day at work. She needs to get her mind off of her mother's death and making a few bucks in the process couldn't hurt. Plus, it would help ease the financial burden of college- if she still stood a chance of getting in, that is. Her senior grades (and attendance rate) weren't exactly "Columbia Material", no matter how good her essay was. 

Walking from the door to the back room, Nancy makes sure to take into account everything she sees on the way. Two truckers eating greasy cheeseburgers at the counter; a woman drinking coffee alone at a table; a family celebrating their daughter's graduation in a booth. Another reminder of the life Nancy won't get to lead.

Reaching up, Nancy rubs the side of her neck where she knows, under several layers of foundation, there's a reminder that she's okay. Her soul mark has grown to be something of a saviour for her these past couple months. A reassurance everytime it seemed her demons were getting a little too close to snuffing out her light, her crutch at her most debilitating moments. Nancy thinks, whoever her soulmate is, they must be a decent person if they’re able to give her this much comfort.

“Drew! Your uniform’s in the back, I’m not paying you to stand there and look pretty! You did enough of that in high school!” 

Ah yes, George. No matter how many times Nancy tries to proclaim her innocence, George refuses to believe she didn’t play a part in spreading the rumors that ruined her life in high school. And honestly, maybe she was right. Nancy may not have spread any rumors, but she definitely didn’t stop them. Maybe she does deserve George’s wrath. Besides, what’s another person added to the list of “People Nancy Drew Has Failed”. George can go right under her mom. 

At this rate, she might need to put more foundation on her mark.

“Now, Drew!”

Eh, she’ll do it at lunch.

-----------

One month in and Nancy thinks she’s got the job down pat. She’s at least doing better than some people. 

Dishes clatter in the kitchen as pots hit the floor. 

“Oops! Sorry!”

Speak of the devil. Nancy goes to the kitchen to help Bess, because Bess has needed nothing but help since the day George gave her the job, but when she opens the door she's met with a peculiar scene.

Bess, the endearing clutz she is, is on the floor trying to pick up the pots but somehow making a bigger mess. Ace, on the other hand, is just staring.

Nancy hasn’t known Ace very long, hasn’t even talked to him directly, but from what she’s seen he’s at least helpful. He cleans up after himself, stays late to do inventory, cleans out the grease traps, all without complaining. Yet here he is, staring at Bess on the floor and doing nothing.

Nancy wants to call out, ask why he isn’t helping, or at the very least say excuse me on her way to help Bess collect the pans, but oddly enough she can’t find the words. She just stares at him with that confused look on her face. 

It seems she doesn’t need to say anything, though. As if the question on her face was spoken aloud, Ace snaps out of his reverie and bends to help Bess. He’s smiling at her a little too much, and Nancy can tell where this is heading before he even opens his mouth. She decides to make a clean exit before she’s forced to watch him try and fail to shoot his shot with her royal waitress Bess.

------

Nancy just needs a minute. She needs a second to breathe. Serving her high school friends and having to listen to their patronizing and pitying tones while she can hear them laughing the second she turns around is not what she signed up for.

To make matters worse, she’s about one more rub away from her mark making its presence known and she doesn’t need the added stares today. She doesn’t quite understand the taboo of revealing your soulmark to others, but today may not be the best day to tackle generations worth of unnecessary forced modesty.

She rushes through the back door, the mocking sounds of laughter cut off as the door swings shut behind her. Apparently god isn’t on her side, though, because the second the door shuts, the freezer opens and Bess exits carrying boxes stacked a good foot higher than her. Boxes that topple over as she tries to close the freezer behind her.

Normally, Nancy would help Bess out. God knows she’s gotten used to it, and Bess is a nice enough girl that Nancy doesn’t totally hate doing it. But right now, the noise from the boxes is too loud and sounds suspiciously like laughter and Nancy can’t really breathe so she doesn’t think getting near the cold, thin air of the freezer is gonna help her.

And so she ignores Bess’ apologies and pleading eyes and instead barges through the backdoor, hoping to get some much needed air in the alleyway behind The Claw. Instead, she faceplants into a cotton cladded wall.

“I’m sorry.” 

She maneuvers around the person she ran into, avoiding eye contact and desperate for some space. She reaches the wall across from the door and puts a hand on the cool brick hoping it’ll help ground her. Leaning forward against the wall, the other hand immediately goes to her neck.

“You’re okay.”

Suddenly, struggling to breathe is less of an issue than not breathing altogether. 

Nancy slowly turns and stares at the man who she is destined to spend the rest of her life with.

Ace slowly blinks back.

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. Nancy can’t really respond, considering the fact that she can’t breathe.

“Woah, Nancy. You don’t look so hot.” Great, my soulmate thinks I’m ugly. Nancy urges herself to use her actual brain for a second instead of whatever it is she’s using now because obviously that one isn’t working.

Still, she says nothing. Ace takes the silence as an invitation to lean against the wall across from her. They continue to stare at each other; her like a deer in the headlights and him entirely too mellow for someone who just found their soulmate. Unless he didn’t.

That’s not a thought Nancy wants to have. But now that it’s out there, she can’t stop thinking about it. Does it work like that? Can the whole soulmate thing go unrequited? Some memory escapes the precipes of her mind, a brief chapter on soulmate history she had to read for class. It was her senior history class, so she didn’t really pay attention, but she does remember reading something in there about a rare percentage of the population that had one sided soul marks.  She also remembers thinking about how sad of a life they must lead.

And it's not like she's wrong about this, especially since Nancy’s heart feels like it’s about to explode and she instinctively knows the only thing that can calm her down is standing there, staring at her with glazed eyes.

“Want one?” Ace asks, materializing a blunt out of seemingly thin air. “They always help calm me down.” 

Now the glazed eyes make more sense. Nancy reaches for it without thinking, the brief touch of their fingertips as the weed changes hands works wonders for calming her down. She is finally thinking a little clearer, breathing a little easier. She stands taller and some of the tension escapes her body.

“See? Works wonders for the nerves.”

If he wants to attribute her abrupt demeanor shift to his weed, she won’t correct him. Instead, she thinks about how this is the first real time he has talked to her. She wishes it happened sooner, his voice reminds her of waves crashing on the shore and when he talks she thinks she’s found her happy place. She’s never hated herself more.

Taking a hit, she passes the blunt back to him and relishes in the little contact that brings about. How lame is it that she’s pining for a guy who is destined to be with someone else. 

“You seem more relaxed now, if you wanted to talk about anything, I’m here.”

She does. She wants to talk about how she feels more  at ease and safe with him, here in this alleyway, than anywhere else; how she hasn’t felt peace like this since her mom died; how he has a calming effect on her that she wishes she could use like a drug; how she’s scared it might become one.

But she can’t talk to him about that at all, because she knows that though her soul finds peace with his, his soul fits better with someone else's. She doesn’t want to guilt him into any half-assed relationship, figures it would be better to become his friend and get to experience the safety and comfort he exudes at a safe arms-length away.

Instead, she talks about the ways everything has gone wrong in the past year (she avoids bringing up how he could have been her first right thing in a while). He listens as he smokes through the whole blunt, his eyes getting heavier as she continues. She’s confident he won’t remember anything tomorrow, thankful she won’t have to explain her near-meltdown. But above all-else, she’s sad. She really is doomed to go through life alone, she doesn’t get anyone to help shoulder her pain. Maybe she doesn’t deserve it.

When she finishes her sob story, he thanks her for sharing it with him. She nods but doesn’t say anything, afraid of what she might reveal if she opens her mouth again.

“DREW!” An angry George calls from inside.

“That’s my cue.” She makes to leave but is stopped by an arm on her hand. She tries to ignore her heart screaming.

“Hey, I really liked talking to you. We haven’t really done that before.”

She nods, trying to make it seem like she just doesn’t want to talk and not like she physically can’t (not while he’s touching her).

He doesn’t let go, though. Instead, he stares at her with more consciousness in his eyes than she thought he would be capable of by now. 

“You’re not alone. I don’t know why, but I feel like you need to hear that.” His voice is soft and quiet and warm, low tide at sunrise.

Nancy’s eyes widen (though her heart warms) and he let’s go. She heads inside without another word, hand rubbing her neck on the way in.

Nancy decides to invest in neck ties.

[holylulusworld]

My favorite Captain

Summary:

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader; Carol Danvers x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes

Warnings: angst, language, shy reader, awkward situations, concurrence, Tony being Tony, implied smut (it’s barely there), love triangle

Divider by @writeyourmindaway​

“So, will you tell us who it is? Come on, Y/N. We both know you’ve got a huge crush. Stop lying to us, young lady,” you giggle, feeling your cheeks heat up as Natasha and Wanda won’t stop bugging you.

“You know that we will not tell anyone, Y/N. Just tell us. I wanna know who your secret crush is. Tony, Clint, or maybe Bucky?”

“No,” you whine, hiding your face in the palms of your hands. “Can you not stop asking. I’m sure the person doesn’t return my feelings, okay. Look at me and then look at-“ you bite your tongue as you almost let a name slip. “Stop bugging me!”

“Y/N Y/L/N, we will not leave you alone until you tell us a name. I’m a master at interrogating people,” Natasha grins. “Come one. We are bored and need anything to talk about. Give us juicy details.”

“Fine,” you look around the hallway, biting your lower lip. “I might have fallen for a certain captain,” Wanda squeals, grasps your hand to get more details.

“Tell us more! When? Where? How long? Will you tell them?” you roll your eyes at Wanda’s questions, knowing all too well your feelings will remain unrequited.

“Like half a year ago. On the first mission together. And no – I will not tell them!” you purse your lips, aiming one finger at Wanda. “None of you will tell anyone either or I’ll kill you and make it look like an accident, I swear!”

Whilst you warn your friends – Carol, and Steve smile dopey. “I fell for her too,” both Captains admit to each other.

“Wait. What?” Steve frowns when Carol looks at him, giving him a warning glare before she pokes her finger into his chest. “She's referring to me.“

“Bitch, she's clearly talking about me,” Carol glares at Steve. “You will keep your hands to yourself. My shy little mouse is mine.”

“Captain, I must ask you to not hit on my doll. She’s all mine. I’m sure she meant me, not you, Carol,” hands-on his hips Steve declares you are his girl.

“Fuck off,” Carol retorts. “This girl is mine, not yours, Steve. Look for someone else. She’s obviously in love with me.”

“No, she isn’t. Y/N is my girl, not yours. You better accept your defeat and leave her alone, Captain Danvers. If you excuse me now; I’m going to ask her out.”

At the kitchen, not half an hour later you find yourself crowded by Steve and Carol. Somehow everyone else found an excuse to usher out of the room.

“So, do you like bikes?” Steve clears his throat, forcing a conversation on you.

“You mean if I like to ride one, Captain?” Steve grins, loving the way you used his title to address him. “I don’t know, to be honest. I never rode one before.”

“How about we go for a ride?” Carol jumps in, pushing Steve out of her way. She smiles widely, offers you a tea, the one she made for you whilst hitting on you as if her life depends on it. “Today?”

“I think Y/N wanted to go for a ride with me, Captain Danvers,” Steve quips. Oh-Captain America is a sore loser sometimes. “Right, Y/N?”

“I-I,” overwhelmed by their presence you start to whimper, before, without a warning, you dash out of the room, calling for Nat and Wanda on your way to your room.

“Well, that went well, Captain,” Carol sighs. “Did you have to scare her, Steve?”

“Me?” offended Steve looks at Carol, giving her a disapproving snort. “I tried to invite Y/N and you had to jump in and steal my date. Now she ran out of the room and it’s your fault!”

“No, it’s yours, Capsicle,” using the nickname Tony gave Steve on purpose Carol pushes against his chest. “That girl is mine, hands-off, Captain, or I’ll fight dirty.”

“I can fight dirty too,” Bucky snorts at Steve’s words while Sam stuffs popcorn into his mouth, enjoying the show. Clint and Tony joined ‘the show’ moments after you stormed out of the room and now they are all busy to watch Steve and Carol fight over you.

“Ten on capsicle to get a date with her,” Tony says.

“Twenty on Carol,” Sam retorts.

“Fifty on me,” Bucky snickers when all eyes land on him. “What? I’m not a Captain but a Sergeant. Maybe she got the title wrong, guys and lady. Now let me think about-“ pressed into the wall by Carol seconds later Bucky huffs. “I was just joking.”

“I said,” Carol glares at Bucky, “that girl is mine.”

“No, mine,” Steve runs out of the kitchen to get to your room before Carol gets the chance to talk to you first but Carol won’t give up that easily. After glaring at everyone in the kitchen one last time, she runs after Steve.

“To your left, Captain,” she smirks, easily outrunning Steve to knock at your door. “Y/N, please open the door. It’s me, your favorite Captain.”

“Doll, I’m here too, Y/N. I know I’m your favorite Captain,” Steve grins when Carol makes a face. He won’t lose you – no way.

“Captains?” dumbfounded you open the door, looking at Steve and Carol. “What can I do for you?”

“Tell us who you are in love with,” you gasp at Carol’s words. “We need to know as we feel the same. Now tell us and we can go on a date.”

“No, she will go on a date with me,” Steve insists. “She’s mine,” you whimper as Carol and Steve start to fight over you.

“Captains,” you try to find your voice when you to explain your feelings. “I like you both equally,” you blur out, eyes wide and fearful. “I can’t tell you that I like one more, Captains. I’m sorry.”

“You like us both?” humming Carol pinches the bridge of her nose. “You mean, you want us both?”

“Kinda,” you bite the inside of your cheek, chewing on it until you taste blood. “I can’t help it, Captain Danvers. You’re both so-,” unsure if you should tell them you dreamed of having both in a more intimate way you giggle.

“Doll,” Steve hums silently before he steps closer. “Does this mean you want us both to make love to you?”

“CAPTAIN ROGERS,” you gasp but your eyes lit up when Carol roamed your body with hungry eyes. “YES.”

“Oh-fuck me,” Natasha gasps. “Girl got a thing for both, Wanda. Clint won, again,” Wanda opens her wallet to hand Clint fifty bucks.

“It’s no fun to bet against Clint,” pouting Wanda looks at the money in Clint’s hand. “Such a shame we lost again.”

“Okay, everyone gets the fuck out of the hallway,” Carol glares at her teammates. “Steve, Y/N, and I will have a serious conversation now.”

“Will you be naked?” Tony calls from the end of the hallways. “Can you tape it? We’d like to have a detailed report.”

“We should clarify one thing – I will not give Y/N up, Steve.” adamant Carol grasps for your hand.

“Neither will I,” Steve takes your other hand, presses soft kisses to your knuckles. “What now? I mean-?”

“You could share me,” sometimes you can’t stop your mouth from running, that’s such a moment. “I mean, we could go on a date, all three of us. I’d like to have my favorite Captains all to myself tonight.”

“Steve?”

“Carol?” looking at each other your favorite captains agree to go on a date with you.

“It’s settled then,” you drag Steve and Carol into your room, ignoring Tony who sneaked closer to your room to spy on you. “We will eat in my room and talk.”

“Talk right,” Tony grunts. “Capsicle, wear a condom. Captain Glow don’t blind our best girl with your powers. If Capsicle gets her pregnant, I’ll be the godfather.”

“Tony, can you just not,” dragging Tony away Natasha grunts. “Stop bugging Y/N. Let them do-“  Natasha laughs, when you slam the door shut, exclaiming both captains are yours now. “Well, I guess we just lost our most adored bachelor and bachelorette to Y/N.”

All works Tags

@yolobloggers​

@shikshinkwon​

@miraclesoflove​

@mogaruke​

@shatteredabby​

@soryuwifeyxx​

@letsdisneythings​

@i-love-superhero​

@psychicforest​

@thevelvetseries​

@anaelsbrunette​

@sabascio​

@goodgodimaweirdperson​

@that-place-called-middle-earth​

@trumpettay​

@zxph-yr​

@belovedcherry​

@matsumama​

@rynabarnesrogers-reading​

@emoryhemsworth​

@buckybarnesplumwhore​

@wonderlandfandomkingdom​

@kitkatd7​

@coldmuffinbanditshoe​

@psych0crybaby​

---------------------------------------------------------

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore​

@notyourtypicalrose​

@voltage-my2dlove​

@officialmarvelwhore​

@randomgirlkensy​

@juniorhuntersam​

@lumar014​

@doctorswife221b​

@sister-winchesters99​

@sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​

@the-soulofdevil​

@dayasvalkyrie​

@redroomproperty​

@natura1phenomenon​

@chaoticfiretaconerd​

@heartislubbingdubbing​

@hhiggs​

@sea040561​

@midnightsilver16830​

@rvgrsbrns​

@fandom-princess-forevermore​

@amandamdiehl​

@grincheveryday​

@thelostallycat​

@lunaticgurly​

@xxlikeheavenxx

@supernaturalwintersoldier​

@mrsdeanwinchester19​

@pandaxnienke​

@just-a-littlebit-of-everything​

@tdbooth​

@iloveshawnieboi​

@vicmc624​

@coffeebooksandfandom​

@mariaenchanted​

@rebekahdawkins​

@lady-pswrld​

@thinkaboutmara​

@notbrooklynsblog​

@bxnnywriting​​

---------------------------------------------------------

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@stylesismyhubs​​

@multisuperfandom​​

@mrspeacem1nusone​​

@fallenoutofrose​​

@rynabarnesrogers​​

@denisemarieangelina​​

@gabifernandessn​​

@heyiamthatbitch​​

@rosalynshields​​

@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters

@patzammit​​

@donutloverxo​​

@saiyanprincessswanie​​

@supernaturalwintersoldier​​

@hinata7346​​

[rueluxprince]

Why Does Jin Guangyao Have So Many Goddamn Ships

This dude. I don’t know what is with him. He can be shipped with so many goddamn people, and you can find something in canon (show/novel/audio drama) to justify it. You like a specific trope? He’ll have a ship that gives it to you. (Lets extrapolate some from canon)

Qin Su/Jin Guangyao: Naive yet headstrong heiress trying to fight on the battlefield and contribute to the greater good. Bit off more than she could chew and was rescued by a gentle and quietly self-assured young man. Romance and comedy ensues as she vows to make him her husband! Flowers! Hijinks! Enlisting quirky handmaidens for advice! Jin Guangshan doesn’t exist in this one!

Lan Xichen/Jin Guangyao: hero saves the beauty, gay edition. Young bookkeeper wants to be worthy of noble young master’s esteem, works his ass off, puts himself in years of danger, finally climbs to the top and now must deal with the “is he or is he not” of romance in politics! Is he or is he not? He’s always at your house and gives you a free pass to his house and draws you exclusive paintings and only attends conferences hosted by you and trusts you completely! But he never says anything! Cue the yearning! The soft touches! Reminders of etiquette! Swooning into strong arms!

Jiang Cheng/Jin Guangyao: reluctant and accidental co-parents reluctantly and accidentally fall in love in the long years of raising a precocious nephew into adulthood. The kid turned out surprisingly okay, with a commendably hard moral backbone. One realizes it’s nice to have a perpetually angry grape ready to blow up in your defense. The other realizes someone closest to him is already fulfilling all his marriage requirements and he didn’t even know it! Domestic bliss! Cute kids! Internal struggles of sexuality! The italicized oh!

Nie Mingjue/Jin Guangyao: Noble and righteous leader recognizing and promoting downtrodden but talented beginner –> no good opinion forthcoming but still wants to care his own way older brother x turning down a dark path but still wants to go back the way things were younger brother –> So much resentment fierce corpse x unable to forget the guilt murderer –> they are buried together. Deteriorating relationship! Shakespearean tragedy! Ultimate darkness! Death! Eternity with each other!

(Honorable mention: 3zun - a wholesome ouroboros loop of death, mystery and found family)

Nie Huaisang/Jin Guangyao: you ever have that one childhood friend that takes care of you and indulges in your oddities and protects you with murderous looks and a scarred back even though he’s frailer than you are; and then that childhood friend murders your older brother but leaves you alive and still takes cares of you and spoils you and would drop everything to help you with a made up problem? And so you’re now left seething in rage because how dare he ruin you and love you all without pause?! Cue the revenge plots! Lies! Deceit! Best actor winners going toe to toe on the world’s biggest stage! Inner conflict! Angst! More conflicted plotting!

Mo Xuanyu->Jin Guangyao: You’re weak and a mess and constantly bullied and the only one in this huge and scary house that ever showed you kindness is your older half brother. He becomes a god in your eyes, all golden and brilliant and surrounded by equally golden and beautiful people you can never touch. But you still try despite everything because he’s the sun and he wanted you to thrive, and you’re just a little moth ramming head first into the flames. And when you’re scorched to the bone and everyone still keeps on trying to stomp you into ash and you finally decide to take revenge, you still can’t bring yourself to blame that splendid sun who were never yours in the first place. Resentments! Unrequited love! More angst! Inner courtyard intrigues! More tragedy! Poetic inner monologues!

Su She->Jin Guangyao: generous and focused ruler x dedicated and competent supporter. He gives you all the respect you need and you know in your soul you will die for him and you don’t care one whit about it. You protect his heart but you always stood one step behind. The position beside him is taken, often by a soft figure in golden silk, or an eminent figure in blue satin. Jealousy! Loud expressions of loyalty! Ego management! Pining and simping!

Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao - friends who murder together stays together. One causes wanton destruction and the other picks up after them. Not because he particularly cares that people are getting hurt but the cost analysis tells him it’s not worth the clean up. You pay for my shopping, I rip out the tongues of anyone that insults your mother. Lighthearted talks of murder! Scheming with friends! Lots of cursing! Dubious experiments! Lots of magical cursing! Friends with benefits!

Wen Ruohan/Meng Yao: local megalomanic tyrant sees this random ass kid all bloodied up and gleaming with spite and went “I would like to raise that one. I’ll give it a sword and I’ll teach him stuff and I won’t say I appreciate him but I will definitely save him from imminent danger.” And that kid acknowledges said tyrant as his teacher and tortures for him pretends to love him, all the while stealing his secrets and preparing to stab him in the back to win the war. Struggle! Trauma! Living in hardship! Double agent reminding themselves not to be conflicted! Psychological torture!

Wen Chao + Wen Xu: uhhhhhh, the canoodling with stepmom trope? Do we even go that far on tumblr? It’s a possibility I’ve considered for about two seconds and now I wish I could wash my brain out.

Jin Zixun~~Jin Guangyao: the “I know I’m slapping the me two years ago in the face with what I’m doing right now but it’s love so I don’t care” trope? All the Jins do this. The year before you were all “why are you always here you don’t belong here you bastard son” and now you’re all “wheres A-Yao he promised he would ambush this public menace with me owo?!??!!??” What a weakass motherfucker with weakass principles.

Honorable mentions:

Wei Wuxian + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, potentially. Terrorizing the Cloud Recesses, eating lots of spicy food, hiding secrets in perfectly groomed hair, causing aneurysms in Lan Qiren, violating all the OH&S regulations Etc.

Lan Wangji + Jin Guangyao: best in law dynamics, actually. It’s a whole battle. Jin “I am physically incapable of seeing someone and not wanting to take care of it” Guang “yes I will be calling you Wangji and trying to give you stuff and show audible concern for your love life” Yao vs. Lan “I do not wish to know you I do not care for your seating arrangements do not ever invite me to your banquets again” Wang “just because you’re maybe dating my precious older brother does not mean I will not refute you to your face about my boyfriend at your banquet in front of said brother” Ji.

(And yes the last two are purely familial/platonic. And also everyone else? You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift is the most fitting theme song for half of them)

~more MDZS metas under #my thing# tag~