#but didn't talk to them bc i was on a different quest and couldn't be bothered to start yet another one

[waihtie]

Supernatural Season 2

Of my first/re watch. I don't remember things easily, so here's a reference for future me (and just some fun notes)

Sam Deaths: 1 (Stabbed. Dean's deal brought him back)

Dean Deaths: 1 (Car accident, was resuscitated like a normal person would be (but stayed in a coma, John's deal saved him))

Important Character Deaths: John W, Yellow-eyes, all the psychic kids we met, Ash

Total deaths: 61

*This includes all people and supernatural creatures who died during an episode, even if they come back to life.

Times Sam was tied up or handcuffed: 3

Times Dean was tied up or handcuffed: 4

Times Sam punched Dean: 0

Times Dean punched Sam: 2

*This is out of bursts of anger and doesn't include fake fights or where there was a legit supernatural excuse

Episodes to skip or watch in a rewatch:

Skip: 3, 4, 18

If I feel like it: 7, 12, 13, 16

Like, but aren't plot related: 2, 6, 11, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20

Plot: 1, 5, 8, 9, 10, 21, 22

Characters that are or might be important:

Victor Henriksen - FBI guy who is obsessed with arresting Sam and Dean

Gordon Walker - Hunter with a morality issue. Wants to kill Sam bc he's 'supernatural'

Trickster - ik who he his, I probably won't forget. He's in this list so I can point out that at this point viewers know he's not dead, but Sam and Dean don't.

Important information: Sam was killed, Dean made a deal to save him. Dean has 1 year before the hellhounds come to collect his soul.

Meg was exorcised to hell. Again.

Main Plot: Sam and Dean's quest for Yellow-eyes, Yellow-eyes' plan for the psychic kids.

On my Season 1 post, I talked about my issues with it. Here's why I like season 2 better:

1. The main plotline moves quicker. I don't have enough of an attention span to sit through episodes that don't relate to each other. I like how there's more plot episodes.

2. The main plotline is more developed and more interesting. I care a little more about it than season one's (it's not the best one, but just in comparison to season 1).

3. The filler episodes are more interesting that last season's

4. Even though there's only 2 reoccurring characters (which is still a big problem for me), they are more developed. We know more about them. Who they are. Why they are the way they are. They have a familiar backstory. Attachments are starting to form.

Dean is a lot more likeable this season. Gives off less fuckboy vibes and less perfect soldier vibes. He's slowly coming into himself, becoming less of what he thinks John wants him to be, and more to just who he is. I love it. I love his character growth over the seasons. Even from season 1 to 2 is making a difference. I can't wait until the seasons where I became super attached to who he is.

Sam is whatever to me where I am at in the show now, so I was shocked when I got back to season 1 and loved him. Then I thought it would be over. But season 2 Sam is great, too. He's sarcastic, funny, cute, and has nice hair. I thought it was only gonna be season 1, but I was wrong, so we'll see if it continues to season 3. (I did not see this new Sam appreciation coming for myself, but I am HERE for it)

The issues I had with this season was that I had nothing to latch on to. When I watched it for the first time a few months ago, I knew absolutely nothing about the show. I almost quit bc I just couldn't get into seasons 1-3. I still didn't care about the plot, and I had absolutely no attachment to either Sam or Dean, even in this season. I was very tempted to start my rewatch at season 4, but I'm glad I didn't.

Even though there's more plot than season 1, it wouldn't have been enough for me last time. There's too much time between any mentions of plot.

I definitely like this season more now that I know more about who they become and what the show becomes. I have a whole new perspective.

[spacelesbiandisaster]

Do you guys think Barriss knew about what happened with Rafa and Trace Martez?

Because I started to rewatch Clone Wars recently to pickup on lore for a fanfic I pretend to write I started to wonder if Barriss was aware of the Martez parents fate and ended up with a headcanon about that.

So, we a (almost) certain that was Luminara the one who changed the trajectory of a crashing ship who end up destroying the Martinez sisters home with their parents still inside. At least the description that Rafa give us mach her almost perfect:

I sure that is a lot of beautiful green skin Jedi with the order, even Barriss fits in that description if we really want to push it, but I think it's already common sense with the fandom that Rafa was talking about Luminara. And I couldn't agree more! Luminara being the one involved in this opens up so much room for potential new stories.

Could you imagine a Tales of the Jedi arc with Luminara fighting in the war and having to make difficult decisions such as that to protect a falling republic? How would she deal with her responsibility was a Jedi when the council is constantly sending away to battlefronts? That would be absolutely perfect! I almost with I could suggest to Filoni personally.

But the way Rafa describe the scene sounds like Luminara wasn't the only Jedi who came see her and Trace...

"Afterwords the Jedi came back and one of them came over to me. (...)"

One of them.

So who are the others?

I believe Barriss must been one of them. Remember this all happened in the beginning of the clones wars while the Jedi were capturing Ziro the Hutt (I believe it was in season 1 or 2). There's is no reason for Barriss don't be around at the time, especially given that she is Luminara's Padawan and they were on curruscant, not too far away from the Jedi temple.

She was with Luminara when that ship start to crash. Maybe she even was the one to made the call to set the ship on the apparently empty house to save the people she saw walking on the street and bc everything was happening so fast so Luminara agreed. And honestly, what other choice did they had? It's not like they knew the Martez parents was inside the house, Jedi don't have x-ray vision, and was their job to save as many life as they could. So the two of them did what they had to do, but later they learn about the orphans girls and pay they a visit. Luminara took the responsibility of talking to the orphans because she was the Jedi master (and probably bc Barriss would had been too shocked to stay put in she situation. She is a teenager girl after all) while Barriss stayed aside watching.

It could had been more Jedi with them, but I believe that is very unlikely given that they were fighting a war. The council couldn't realistic spare 5 Jedi to speak to every orphan the war left, but a Jedi Master and their Padawan seen fit for this quest.

At first I thought that was it: Luminara told the sisters the force would be with them and didn't do anything else about the situation, but analysing further what Rafa told Ahsoka changed my mind:

"(...) Trace and I were left, without a home. Just left there to find our way in their system."

Of course that Rafa could be referring to the republic was the Jedi system and they were left on the street, but being Luminara the Jedi involved I believe she left the girls on a orphanage of sorts and when Rafa become of age she find a place and won the right to bring Trace with her. So they had some kind of assistance after their parents death, but we all know that this kind of system had lots and lots of problems and high chance is they weren't take care properly. Not that Luminara or Barriss could had known such a thing, so they truly believed they were doing good to Rafa and Trace.

But why this is important?, you may ask. What difference does it make if Barriss was that or not?

Well, do you remember what happened to Ziro not long after that?

He broke way from prison!

Jabba paid Cade Bane (and I think Aurra Sing too) to go to curruscant's prison and take Ziro back to Nal Hutta to pay for the crimes he commit against Jabba's son. The show have two whole arcs about it and both together form one of my favorites stories on the clone wars.

But picture this: Barriss up to that point was very careful to not hurt anyone. On the second battle of geonossis she is talking about the importance of saving lives even when it means sacrificing herself going as far as asking Ahsoka to kill her just to prevent some weird mind controlling worms to spread to the galaxy. This same girl unintentional kill two person to same many on that ship crash and couldn't do anything to truly help the orphans that were left behind. All because of some Hutt crime lord the Jedi and the republic allowed to prospect in Coruscant (Ziro had a damn cantina on the lower levels! With bounty hunters and other criminals running around all the time and no one made anything about it until Jabba's son, another crime lord, order they to act). And like that wasn't enough, Cade Bane kill lots and a lot of people during his mission to "rescue" Ziro.

I can imagine Barriss looking at all that and wondering what was the point of sacrificing the Martez parents on the first place if everything just end up returning to the status quo. The choice Luminara and Barriss made didn't make anyone life better. People still died. The Martinez sisters were alone. And both the republic and the Jedi were conducting their actions base on what Jabba the Hutt wanted.

That could had been the moment she realized the number of wrong thing were happening because of the order and how far they had fallen from their old ways. Barriss was a solder when she should have been a pace keeper and there's nothing she could do that made the Jedi realize what they were doing to her, to all her Padawans friends and to the galaxy as a whole.

Well... Almost nothing...

My personal theory/headcanon is the Martinez sisters incident were the thing that let Barriss to her radicalization and to the Jedi temple bombing.

She probably decided to stay in Curruscant to try to help the people who live there even though she supposed to stay with Luminara and ended up meeting Letta and her husband Jackal (I think that's how it's spelled) and Letta start to talk about doing this great act to attract attention of the Jedi and of the people and was Barriss was spending all the alternatives she had to resolve the problem in a pacific way she started to agree.

I also think the bombing didn't work out the way Barriss intended to because the girl were a total mess on the Wrong Jedi arc.

Maybe Letta feed the nano droids to her husband a little to early, or they were never meant to be feed the him on the first place (Can you imagine Barriss Offe planning on using a civilian was a living bomb? The Barriss we knew from the second battle of geonossis would rather eat the droids herself!) either way Barriss definitely wasn't in her right mind. Other wise she could had save both Ahsoka and herself from prison very easily by blaming Ventress for all her crimes and this is how:

In the Wrong Jedi arc Barriss a holo transmission were she both learn that Ahsoka and Ventress were together and tell Ahsoka were the nano droids droids were.

Right after that Barriss proceed to stole Ventress lightsabers and go to the deposit Ahsoka is look for the bomb's disguise was Ventress so she can fight Ahsoka.

But why she does that?

If her intended was to further incriminate Ahsoka she could had just called the guards who would seem Ahsoka in a room full of nano droids and would go like "Yeah, she returns to the crime scene, there's is no way this kid is innocent".

And if her intended was to incriminate Ventress she should had put her in the room while unconscious. Then she could proceed to fight Ahsoka and stage a situation were Ahsoka finds Ventress there and when the guards eventually show up they would shoot at the separatist rather than command Tano.

So yeah, Barriss was spiraling over guilt so hard she couldn't think straight. And I couldn't think of any other reason in cannon that could had sparkle such reaction (I you know of something else I'm begging me to tell me!).

Barriss had to correct her mistake if the crashing ship incident, but the Jedi didn't listen to her, so she plan something big to gain the attention but her accomplice fuck somethings up and everything gotta way out of control so she ends up killing even more civilians and the rest we can imagine from there: She kills Letta because she was freak out about taking all the blame, end up feeling even more guilt (if this is even possible) and on a desperately attempt to save Ahsoka she tries to blame Ventress but fails spectacularly.

This is all speculation, but I'm choosing to believe that the Martinez parents death play some part on Barriss's Arc. It really is a tragic event that exposes all the cracks in the role the Jedi said they perform as well as the failing republic as a whole.

I would love to Barriss reaction to that on screen I totally think could be part of a hypothetical Luminara story on a future season of Tales of the Jedi.

But what do you think?

Like I said I planning to write a fanfic that has a great role for Barriss and would be super helpful to her others people opinions on the character, so feel free to reach me out to share your personal head cannons and theorys!

(Ps: I'm still learning english so please forgive me if that was a hard to read post)

(Also could you imagine how funny/tragic would be if both Ahsoka's ex-girlfriend and ex-mother in lawn were involved in the death of her current girlfriend, that being Trace, parents? That is good lesbian drama right there!)

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 11

oh my god

i had already guessed that Alec was lying (much like Jake did), but this was a really nice explanatory touch! Alec and Riya's friendship is, as usual, one of the season highlights for me.

would've been a lot more interesting if the campers could have chosen their own partners in one way or another, imo, but that would definitely eat up a lot of time in an already packed episode. plus, some pairings (like Connor and Riya) probably couldn't have happened this way, given how Riya wound up reacting to Connor.

"alright Fiore, here's how we prevent you from going home this week," one could say.

i was SO worried that Alec was going to have another confessional at some point being like "lol i was testing my acting skills on Fiore too" but he DIDN'T. which means this is CANON. THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

okay, i actually love the decision to pair Hunter and Grett together here. both of them are the "very flawed but kinda mistreated partner of their appearances-obsessed date," so it makes sense that Hunter could give Grett a good perspective on this. also, is it just me, or did they rework Hunter's personality in this episode to be more like S2? i liked it.

i'm going to put every Fiore and Alec moment in this post and you can't stop me. i am initially thinking about them.

"joke's on you fucker i didn't teach her literally any of this. she's just built different."

as much as i enjoy Alec appreciating his daughter's sass, this does seem like a pretty radical heel turn from "i only voted Connor out of this game because it was what was best for him." i guess maybe spending time with Riya and the other villains has caused Alec to fall further off the deep end/forget about Connor's genuinely nice qualities...? or it's inconsistency between different writers, who knows.

i am 0% a jul(?) shipper, but, damn, the jul shippers were eating well this episode.

Yul is such an interesting little guy.

James flexing his character arc, we love to see it.

WHAT IS IT WITH THE CYAN WOMEN AND SECRETLY BEING JACKED????

society..... it's becoming more utopian........

see, this is why i didn't think Tess would be the one to return to the game.

Aiden is such a hater, i love him. but, overall, i agree with Lake. we're definitely sowing the seeds for a Jake redemption(/winner?) arc and a heroes' reunion.

Riya, finally finishing what she started in S2 of making the gays fall off cliffs.

villains are so fun. i love villains.

THE SOFT DAD SMILE IS BACK :D

ooh, nice callback.

this is an objectively funny screenshot. why does Alec yell like that

what a surprising outcome! (/s /lh)

:,) <3

i wish Aiden and James had more of an opportunity to talk during this episode :/ it's fine, though-- i think that James and Lake's characters were used more effectively this way.

they're getting back together after this trust me guys i'm disventure camp

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

they truly are family now. i love it.

"not that bad" is a weird way to describe your would-be crush.

this will be a fun scene! idk which episode "Saturday" will be, though. both because idk how many days will pass in any given episode and also bc i don't recall which day today is in canon.

i do wonder what evil Gabby is doing here. i guess maybe it'll just be the side of Gabby that wants to run with the villains alliance for power vs the side that wants to follow Ellie's advice? that seems kind of weird. maybe it'll be more like the side that wants to go mad with power on the revenge quest vs Gabby's more rational and strategic side? either way, strange cliffhanger.

can't we just have everyone here... always... all the time...? no? okay :( well, it was still really nice to get the whole gang back together for this episode. i'll look forward to seeing them again in the finale.

and, hey, Connor's back in the game now! and he can't be eliminated next episode, at least. are there going to be three players with immunity...? that could get spicy. we'll see how the heroes and villains smack down when the next real elimination rolls around. back up to ten to nine again... see you next time!

[chayannesegg]

red team definitely loves lore and acting, but I really think it's be understated how much blue's actions are in-character. a major upset for red is how blue and green could just betray them immediately and start playing the game, but from blue's perspective this was completely logical and justified. from blue's perspective, this is a game that they are going to play (and try to win!) and the deaths don't mean anything to them bc it's part of the game. it's not a personal thing or a moral question for them. have bad, tubbo, pierre, tina ever shown a particular value for player deaths? no. and all of them have been quite willing to do adapt their approach with the circumstances and their needs.

tina tried being nice and it didn't work? she'll work with bad then. bad can't get his eggs back? he'll start kidnapping workers until something happens. fred's been kidnapped? tubbo is going to unravel quackity. with tina and bad, the easily shifting morality makes sense. they are both demons (or demonlike i know tina was iffy on what canon she wants for herself). with pierre, he's very used to be being a pawn in the federation's games at this point, this is just another game he has to play (idk much about ayrobot sorry).

tubbo is also used to playing the game. he has always reacted futilely to the federation's whims even if he didn't want to! look at his quest to fix ramon's machine. he and phil fought over that, bc phil couldn't understand why tubbo would just give in and break ramon's machines, betray his side? but from tubbo's perspective there was nothing he could do. feds were insistent, he was powerless, and the damage was already done by him being asked to do it. and this game is no different!! he's brought this mentality to pac too. who would otherwise be having a crisis about killing fit and losing everything. tubbo really helped him out by pointing out it was the futility of the game. pac gets to enjoy having a purpose and play the game even players like missa, who haven't participated in killing, have adapted to the game shift well. missa gets to feel useful and like he's not been left behind! he's enjoying himself and wants to participate! most of blue team was lonely, isolated, and purposeless. now they have been given a team, a purpose, and a reason to talk to people! of course they've taken well to this change! why wouldn't they?

[asoaf]

Fields of Mistria Farmer Lore

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've recently started to play Fields of Mistria (it's really good and fun, tho it's still on Early Access) and I have been having a BLAST and ended up making a whole character (the farmer im playing as), and after I talked about my farmer with @atramenting I thought about joining the party and talking about her like others have.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her name is Sofia and comes from a different continent from Aldaria (bc I wanted to make an area equivalent to latin america for funsies, tho I haven't figured out a name yet). Due to family conflicts she left her home when she was 15 and so, with nothing to her name but the clothes on her back and few couple of things in her bag, she joined the local adventurers guild to keep herself fed and under a somewhat stable roof.

Unfortunately she did not have any knowledge on swordplay (nor could she afford a sword at the moment), this meant that there were many quest she couldn't take on. This wasn't really good on the long run as the payments were considerably smaller than the others. So she took the risk, bought whatever sword she could afford and signed up for a monster hunting quest in the forest. She would've ended up drowning on a river if it wasn't for a party of adventurers that saw her getting beat up.

The group welcomed it's 6th member, with some hesitance from a couple of members (since being that young and in the adventurers guild usually could mean trouble). This party in particular was from Aldaria and had traveled to this continent because of a quest and were going back soon, some thought that Sofia would only be a temporary member (and that they would teach her how to properly use a sword bc that kid was a little disastrous) but to their surprise Sofia didn't have much trouble leaving (again, there was some hesitation bc what-do-you-mean-a-15-year-old-is-ok-with-leaving-her-home-continent-just-like-that).

[I havent fully figuerd out that part so I'll leave it to your imaginations at the time, but she revealed her reasons during the trip.]

A few years pass, Sofia (who's now 22 years old) has grown into a formidable adventurer, it's this party against all odds taking all sorts of quest. They've been through a lot together and have become a family to each other, even if she misses what used to be her home. Sometimes she writes back but barely gets any answers from her mother and siblings.

But nothing lasts forever. Her leg was severely injured during a quest, and even though she received as much medical attention and physical therapy as possible, her days adventuring were over. Yes, she could still walk, run to some extent and even continue to use her sword; It just wasn't good enough to go back as she was. This was a heavy hit to her, adventuring had been her life for years, what was she supposed to do. Her party gave all the support but it still hurt them to see her so downhearted for the career ending injury that would act-up sometimes and plague Sofia with excruciating pain.

Then a request came into the guild.

Mistria, a village near the coast, had solicited help to get the town back on it's feet after an earthquake, and in exchange they would give farmland to whoever helped them. Sofia was hesitant at first, while yes, she had experience with this kind of quests from before, it would only be her this time and she had little to no clue on what to do with a farm. Her party members encouraged her to give it a try and promised they would write to her as often as they could.

And so, after being deep in thought about it for a few days, she embarked on a new journey.

[utilitycaster]

speaking of regrets considerations for a second runthrough:

This time I'm actually doing the fucking puzzles and finding all the chests and mementos and codices and candlehops. It's funny bc I've had a draft in my notes reminding me to talk about why I like the crossroads as a concept. but also once I found everything I needed there I was like GOTTA GO GOTTA DO QUESTS AND STORY so I feel like I can't really write it. I also ended the game with a truly stupid amount of gold I hadn't used because I have zero interest in decorating things and I was good at finding valuables but like, I realized very late in the game that money can be exchanged for mementos. I may be stupid.

Relatedly, pacing out sidequests better; I got locked out of a sidequest and had to complete For The Love of Treviso first and it was kind of silly to go back to the Venatori/Crow couple after like. killing the Butcher. I also did the Solas Regret Sidequest very early.

Related to that, I played Rook as fairly trusting and honest and open in part because I was trying to romance Bellara, who appreciates a very positive and grounded touch, and in part because that sort of All Rook Knows Is 1300+ Necrotic Damage, Throw Her Shield, Hopeless Romanticism, Be Bisexual, And Tell The Truth character emerged eventually. I must admit as someone who leans very...well, Neve's flavor of "I assume this will go badly but deep in my heart despite it all I hope for the best" IRL it was a fun thing to explore, but I also really want to know what the more pragmatic decisions lead to. Again I know that technically I got the happiest ending but like. my heart really does say Dump Him Inquisitor. Anyway. I looked it up and apparently if you turn in the Venatori/Crow couple, the Crows like you more for it, and while the Crows liked me plenty and I don't even know if this happens still in a blighted Treviso, if it does, I'll need all the cred I can get.

Wait does this mean I will do a good job with Mythal all for naught. Much To Think About.

I was not good at checking for eavesdropping conversations early on so I missed almost all of Harding being suspicious of Lucanis, for one.

I ALSO fucked up the wisp conversation with Neve which is funny because again, what emerged later in the game was someone who absolutely would be down for a wisp stakeout. writing this off as "Rook was way too smitten with Bellara at the time to remember her Mourn Watch duties, and Emmrich arriving jolted her back into place there."

Did not realize Hezenkoss was in Emmrich's room until relatively late. Actually, if one of my mutuals (not @-ing anyone bc idk if they're done) hadn't posted about this I wouldn't have found out until the part of the game where you check in with everyone, which would have been EXTREMELY funny in the darkest way. going to find Emmrich standing on his sad moodlit balcony mourning Davrin and getting jump scared by. the skull.

Not a regret, just something I'm excited for: There were a few combinations of companions I rarely brought out either because their abilities didn't dovetail super well (Lucanis + Harding overlapped with my damage types and both had potion-based healing so I rarely brought them out together) or due to lack of healing abilities (I really only would ever bring out one of Davrin, Taash, or Neve; I paired them all pretty frequently with everyone else though) and now that I know which quests are unlikely to straight up murder me without a healer I'll try to do more, plus if I save Minrathous Neve will be one of my healers this time and Lucanis won't. Which is sad because Lucanis and Taash were actually The Best Combo Ever. I literally brought them into every endgame combat except for the ones where I explicitly couldn't because they were occupied with another task, and I still brought Taash for the final Isle of the Gods combat.

Also just something I'm excited for: exploring different options for the endgame; obviously Neve and Lucanis's will by default probably differ but I think Davrin and Taash's might be different as well in a different playthrough. I'm kind of hard to sway on Harding's and impossible on Emmrich's admittedly but Bellara's could go a different way, maybe.

[ac-liveblogs]

Love how we spent all that time on Wanderer and MiniDurin parallels and it turns out they're not even friendly enough for Wandy to accompany MiniDurin on a maybe-something-approaching-suicide mission.

Also really, really hoping Albedo is meant to come off as a eugenicist monster because otherwise I really dk how to feel about 1 Durin getting murdered while another Durin sacrifices his body to become a 'real boy'. In a quest where the characters say to our faces that Durin is basically a baby with a power too big for their stupid baby skull.

Like, sorry, Albedo, but babies can't be evil (even if the game is trying to make them as unlikeable as possible to suit their '''''''evilness'''''''). I feel like we should try engaging with the baby first. Talk to the baby. Maybe use the Travelers magic purification powers to purify the baby. Feed the baby kind beings rather than clones made of wasted potential and inferiority complexes. Anything other than immediately using Souleating Oviraptor on the baby.

Like, I get that Durin is a danger to Mondstadt. I get it, but I don't know how to feel about everyone celebrating what's about to happen rather than treating it as a necessary evil.

Then, you get to the ritual itself and Albedo is like "I am closer to humans in class than dragons" and "by making life more perfect, we can make the world more perfect" and "Once Durin is a Real Boy, I'll finally know someone else like me", all of which kind of suggest that Albedo views a persons race or species as higher than their. Like. Existence. To the degree that killing 1 Durin to perform a dangerous and untested experiment on another Durin is a wonderful elevation of their beings.

I mean, it's consistent, if nothing else. Genshin is full of "did you know humans are cooler and better than dragons and seelie and saurians and whopperflowers and adeptus and suanni and puppets?" so it makes sense that up to 2 literal infant dragons (minimum 1 bc you can bet there won't be any """"evil""" Durin in there) sacrificing their individuality and consciousness to become (1) human boy is a good trade.

I mean, I guess it's a good trade for me because he's a Kosma Expy. But still.

Sorry 2 keep harping on this and obvs ignore till u play but it just gets worse the more I think about it. Like I know Genshin is a big game so it's unreasonable to expect thematic consistency but it's comical to me that Xilonen "You can't paste over your personal tragedy (Nechca dying) with a happy fairytale ending (Imposing Nechca's personality onto Nepechca so Tzalolli can pretend Nechca never died)" exists in the same game as "Let's paste over Evil Durin with the literal manifestation of some Witch's fix-it fic." Like these themes couldn't be more diametrically opposed if they tried. Now I know there are differences between these stories. As tragic as it is, Mondstadt will be safer if Durin dies, while Nepechca's death would benefit none but Tzalolli herself. Durin is also dead (except not really, because you could absolutely speak to """"Evil Durin"""" through his vessel) so this is a living Durin using the corpse of dead Durin to their benefit (still pretty yikes ngl. I don't think Durin consented to having their corpse desecrated) while Nepechca was a living child being overwritten by a dead one (who already 'had their chance' so to speak) but it would have been nice to see the story acknowledge the similarities and differences, discuss the implications, etc. Instead of popping the baby.

It's cool! There was uhhhh a lot going on here, huh. It didn't bother me too much because by the point this came up I was already totally checked out by everything that came before it, but I did think it was weird too. It's an... interesting conclusion to the Durin situation in a lot of different ways, yeah. As you said, I was also reminded of Xilonen's story quest - it's not a one to one comparison as here it seems to be that the two Durin will be combining their personalities rather than a straight overwrite, but it does tread close enough that its a bit eyebrow raising. Though in this case, it is the only way the narrative is providing to stop an inherently malicious force for good rather than Just Straight Child Abuse/Murder, so it's a greyer situation.

"Kathryne is just a doll, so we can possess her no problem!" vs "Scaramouche, just because you're a puppet doesn't mean you don't have a heart, you deleting your own personality is bad!" this game has contradicted itself before, yeah.

I think what gets me is the framing. Durin needs to be resolved this way BECAUSE he's such a huge threat that will keep coming back no matter what... but the game does a really bad job of framing Durin as a threat. We never talk to him or fight him, we only ever fight his proxies who manifest as generic overworld enemies. HYV says he's a huge threat, but I'm kinda "uh, whatever" about it because between the Knights having Durin on such a hilarious lockdown, all the losses being off-screen and HYV not bothering to give him a real boss fight... Durin's threat comes across as really abstract.

So talking about "this is the only possible way to handle it" um, I don't believe you. HYV handled this so lazily that I really, really don't believe you. Decisions like this should only come after you actually try exhausting other options - for Mini Durin's sake, if not actual Durin's (who, yeah, I don't think really gets much of a say at this stage, but again...)

In the meantime, Durin often gets described as being childlike and innocent, lashing out with too much power because he has too many emotions he can't control. He didn't mean to hurt Dvalin, and he's jealous of Albedo. So you do just... automatically feel bad about the idea of treating him this way? We didn't try anything, and it's a kid?

By the time they're resolving it, it's like... well, that was super easy, didn't even take a boss fight, and also it sure is convenient there was a "good" Durin to paste over our Durin to replace him... but also, that's like a... almost? Murder-suicide being framed in a weirdly positive way.

If Durin were better established as a threat and this was the only way to defeat him (like us literally being unable to kill him while shit goes SUPER badly wrong), and Mini-Durin's death (lol) being framed as a tragic, scary sacrifice (lol again) I'd be more... on board with it, I guess? As it is, it just comes across as really... are we sure this is the best solution? We didn't even try stabbing him. Or uh, purifying him, yeah... I don't know how I thought Durin would get resolved but "gets merged with his summer alt and becomes a gacha unit" wasn't it. I kinda thought Dvalin would be involved, honestly.

On Albedo being a eugenecist - I don't think that's the intended read for his character ("this is our only choice!!!!", handled extremely lazily), but Genshin does have a consistent throughline of humanity being the most prioritised species in Teyvat that doesn't mesh well with this. I don't think Albedo being excited about having someone else 'like him' around is a bad trait, even with the circumstances... (though, Albedo explicitly only identifying Durin as his brother after the change is..... hmm, interesting)

I guess I'm more bothered by Mini-Durin's response to it, and us being all "yeah sure okay" about it. Theoretically, two different people being smashed together into one totally foreign body could be a really interesting struggle for the Durins, but I suspect we're not going to get much with them on that front.

ALSO god yeah LMAO SCARAMOUCHE WASN'T EVEN THEREEEEE WHY EVEN BOTHER WITH THIS...

it's so scara can officially have a character he gets associated with, isn't it. ISN'T IT

WHY Albedo and Klee didn't have a bigger role in last year's summer is completely beyond me.

[crows-of-buckets]

Minor dav gripe but like

I really do wish there were a handful more things added in the worldstate menu. As of right now the two things I personally would add would be "does the hof live" and "did the Inquisitor drink from the well of sorrows"

The first one is so odd bc like. Davrin talks about being willing to die to the arch demon and how it's his duty and is inevitable and it felt. Very odd. That I couldn't say "but what about the hero of fereldan?" Like the dialogue could have even taken the same route as the regular conversation with davrin going "yeah but the hof isnt here and no one else knows how they did it". It feels. Odd. Because it is definitely something well known, even outside fereldan. Even more so if your rook is also a warden. Idk that really bugged me

The second one is literally just a minor minor annoyance but Emmrich has a dialogue about morrigan "possibly having turned into a dragon" and like. Again. It's a minor dialogue but if you're not gonna include the option for the well of sorrows why include the dialogue at all.

The lack of world state choices isn't really noticable in a lot of things, but I do feel it's stood out most with the wardens because of how influential the hero of fereldan is. Like c'mon there was a blight only 20 years ago and the guy who stopped it could possibly still be alive, why didn't they even cross our minds to look for? Also that guy stopped a blight in a YEAR with like six people why wouldn't we go talk to them?? Like yeah the south has got its own thing going on but cmon Morrigan definitely knows where they are

I have another thing (unrelated to worldstate choices) that I want to complain about, but its much more spoilery than above so its going under a cut

Spoilers for the end of the solas memory quest that I can't remember the name of (the one where you collect the wolf statues and experience solas's past)

Honestly, I liked most of the quest. The memories themselves were interesting and I do like the setup of how they played out. The fights were (mostly) fun (I did the level 25 one under leveled and had to restart like four times but it's fine I'm just a stubborn ass)

What I do NOT like is Flemeth's abuse being written down. This is another place where the lack of choice felt odd bc whether or not Morrigan has Kieran would change a lot I think. Bc Morrigan flat out says that she would never treat her child the way she was treated. And idk it felt like Flemeth got a "get out of abuser jail free" card bc she's mythal.

I dont even mind Morrigan taking in Mythal's memories tbh. It's a very in character thing for her to do.

Idk like. On one hand yeah Morrigan would probably have mixed feelings about her mother dying even if she was her abuser it just. Didn't feel like those emotions were mixed. Idk it just kinda annoyed me. I had a feeling Flemeth wasnt going to be portrayed as harshly and I hate to be right sigh

Other than that I did like this quest. I enjoyed talking to a different side of mythal and gaining her favor lmao. If I had a nickel for every dragon age protagonist that had an odd connection to mythal...

The flashbacks made me much more interested in the Titans, and I'm excited to see where Hardings story goes.

Ultimately, so far nothing that annoys me is anything that will make me hate the game. I have things I dislike about every dragon age game, its just a thing that happens lmao.

[honshew]

thoughts on bg3

overall, i had a lot of fun and would recommend to anyone interested! very ambitious game, and i'm amazed it exists tbh. there are so many really, really great aspects of it. however, i'm also glad to be done with it, bc i started to have less and less fun with it at the last part. which is an unfortunate place to have the worst part of the game. i really wish it wrapped up in a more satisfying way, because i became really attached to the characters and the incredibly detailed world. a shame it had to be rushed toward the end of development. it's incredible, though could have been more still.

i'm spending some time trying to figure out what i liked about the game, so this may or may not be updated as thoughts come to me. there will be spoilers all the way thru the end of the game so here's your spoiler warning

i think while people unfamiliar with dnd can play and still have a good time, it probably will feel overwhelming and there will likely be things you won't understand unless someone explains it to you. i can't even really call the tutorial a bad one as much as it's barely there. but i do know plenty of people with zero dnd experience still having fun and simply enjoying learning on the go!

on the other hand, being someone who plays dnd, once you figure out the interface it's a pretty smooth experience. there are some things that are a little different to accommodate how the game works (e.g. second-story work reduces your fall dmg rather than increasing your climbing speed, since the game doesn't really count climbing as distance), but those are pretty quick to learn. seems to me that the devs thought people who didn't play dnd wouldn't be all that intersted in bg3, but a ci'd be curious to see how many bg3 players will look for a dnd group to join from here.

act 1 was solid and was paced well. i really liked how many characters ended up showing up later in the game, as opposed to characters you save once and never see again. i think what was most fun was getting to know what i could get away with LOL not just an exploration of the world, but an exploration of the game itself. i have video of me talking to auntie ethel while my friends set up and set off a circle of flame barrels, so i got a front row seat of her being blown to smithereens.

act 2, also solid. i really enjoy quests that involve impacting a place in a really tangible way, like in okami, so the shadow-cursed lands were pretty cool. unfortunately, the game doesn't really show you this happening except a liiiiittle bit at the end, so it doesn't feel as good as it could. still, i liked exploring the area a lot. all of the mini-bosses of the area were unsettling, but we got past literally all of them via high charisma rolls. actually aside from the exploring, a lot of the fun was seeing how we could cheese boss fights, which carried into act 3

act 3 felt way more all over the place and buggy, which significantly lowered my enjoyment. ofc a game this massive will have issues, but i'm still sad that the last part of the game where everything crescendos is where i enjoyed the game the least. small things not working the way they're supposed to (e.g. certain npcs not running or climbing up a ladder when they are fleeing I'M TALKING TO YOU ZUMBO PUMBO AND FEATHERWEIGHT FALSON, astarion falling sleep to a spell even tho he's an elf during his end-of-quest fight). what sucks about things being so frustrating too was that the main quests had really great setups or concepts, but the execution was messy. still, we had a lot of fun messing with bosses. cazador couldn't do anything bc he was forced to dance while we killed him, orin was disintegrated, gortash turned to stone. kinda wild having a bard with 100% spell hit rate....!

i do wish we got to explore baldur's gate more. i totally get that would be a huge undertaking tho. i had a thought that maybe act 3 should've been its own game, but then i guess you couldn't call it baldur's gate 3 if you never get to baldur's gate. i didn't play the previous bg games, but i liked how they wove in the story from the previous installments and ttrpg modules without leaving newcomers to the series out of the loop too much.

i liked shadowheart's, astarion's, and wyll's quests a lot. the ansur part of wyll's was really cool. i adore trials to test character as a setup, especially ones administrated by some major figure. but also? fuck balduran for what he did to ansur and later to me. he's the city's hero, but he only really looks out for himself. which is cool for me as a viewer, not cool for the character i play as LOL

i have more thoughts but i will type them up here later maybe this has gotten long enoguh

[spider-xan]

I personally like when Curt is one of Peter's profs in college, which I was kinda expecting in the Insomniac game. It was mentioned in the first game that Peter was a teacher assistant at the ESU and I thought it was for Curt's classes. I think it would've added more emotional weight in Peter's quest to cure Curt in the second game, and would make players more invested if they've had some history together besides the Lizard thing. They didn't need to be super close, but Curt could've been someone that Peter respected and was familiar with.

Oh well.

Same, anon!

I'm very happy overall with what we did get in the Insomniac sequel game with Curt and he's definitely one of my favourite versions, but I was also disappointed when his intro scene at the EMF seemed to confirm that he and Peter don't have a relationship between their civilian identities, regardless of whether Curt knows he's Spider-Man or not; like you, I also thought that given Peter having been a TA, the official blurb for the Lizard on the PlayStation site saying they had first met in college (which could be interpreted in a few different ways), and how Peter obviously really cares about him in the gameplay preview that we were going to get them being close outside of Spider-Man things and that Curt was one of his ESU professors, but I guess not; it's also weird bc there was a post-release interview where they talked about how what makes the Spider-Man villains great is their personal relationships with Peter, and they specifically cited how Connors has that element of oh, he's not just a monster to beat up, but also Peter's professor whom he really likes and doesn't want to hurt, though I guess they were speaking more generally there.

At the very least, I think it would have been helpful to have a character bio provide more background information bc we really don't know much about their history and relationship, and every cut scene they had was focused on advancing the plot rather than developing their relationship - which is fine, but I do think it's part of a broader issue with the game feeling rushed and underdeveloped at times, especially in the third act, and I would have loved if they had some more personal scenes together outside of the Lizard campaign.

Something else that felt a little muddled was how there were moments where I wasn't sure if Peter actually cared about Curt for Curt's sake bc Peter does see him as a friend (beyond Peter being a hero who helps everyone) or if he only cared about him as a means to an end to help Harry, if that makes sense? Like in the church scene when he says, 'I'm just here to save my friend', it makes the most direct sense for him to mean Curt, but then I was like, wait, does Peter even see him as a friend in this universe, and if not, does he mean he's just here for his actual friend Harry and the serum only matters in the sense of bringing Curt back to help him? Especially considering how after the failed zoo rescue, the trio doesn't seem too concerned about Curt being stuck as the Lizard until they realize they need him to help Harry, which is weird writing, now that I think about it.

Anyway, I wonder how much of the seeming lack of closeness may be due to the fact that they didn't want to repeat a mentor relationship like the one the first game had between Peter and Otto, with the irony being that the Peter and Otto relationship in the Insomniac games is just like the Peter and Curt one in the 616 comics and some adaptations, namely the 90s animated series; I think it's completely possible for Peter to have two mentors in different areas though, instead of only one or the other - but I also wonder how much was also bc they had him be an Oscorp scientist involved with the symbiote, possibly with a previous day job as a medical doctor until the Lizard thing, and couldn't have him be a professor as well; I'd love to know at what point they decided to have him tied to that plot bc the symbiote was obviously there all along, and it's common in adaptations for Connors to be the symbiote expert, but I can't tell if he was linked to it from the start or if they had other possible ideas for him until deciding on that one.

[someonespinkpony]

some stuff

i have currently decided that everything i'm working on is hurting my brain so i'm paging through my notebook and sharing some of the Thoughts with y'all. this is what happens when i'm bored. enjoy.

these are all rejanis by the way, i could do a whole other one discussing marvel-related shit because i've had this notebook for that long lmao

mean girls side quest universe

first writing for rejanis i did!! planned everything on sticky notes and tracked how long each day was in word count (initial goal was 500 words a day and then the average was more than that lol)

future story idea included a three-part spring fling thing (will discuss more in a second)

committed to the road trip idea early lmfao

birthplace of regina hanging out at the coffeeshop that janis works at

the three-part spring fling thing (which ended up being part 2 of that series) was supposed to be the night in three different points of view. first would be damian, second would be regina, and the third would be janis. they'd all piece together and reveal more as time went on. kinda fun in concept but i wasn't ready to write something so interlocking at the time.

it then downsized to regina's pov and janis' pov. clearly didn't do that either

my initial plans for part 3 didn't include janis and regina breaking things off. the evil came later. whoops.

there was a scrapped fic <3 maybe i'll explain more some other time but it was supposed to be super toxic and showing their senior year and how they both didn't pursue a relationship but they kept going back to each other. whoops. it was supposed to be called "we'll be over by may (that's just a deal that i made)" which is honestly. like. perfect. rip.

there's a sticky note wedged in here with their birthdays. did you know they all have birthdays?

anyway lots of one shot plans. maybe one day i'll finish those lol

BUCKET!!!

their schedules. no idea if they've changed since making that but it is color-coded bc of my personal insanity

i tried tracking the chapters on paper. don't do this it's not fun

fame fic (this one needs a better name imo)

plans for chapter 6 of the first fic ? unsure of what this is it's like multiple chapters but just says chapter 6 at the top

the other page has a bunch of plans for the first chapter with all of the news. these had to be planned out because i couldn't do that on the fly at all. the sheer amount of publications to keep track of is exhausting. (i was thinking of making a list of articles i read to emulate when i was initially writing this, might do that sometime)

janis' dad's name is maleko??? this is news to me his name is koa now. except not really i could change it idk. never mentioned in canon lol

crash course!

the fan favorite. lol.

this is an amalgamation of various things but i'll point out a couple of things

cady is noted as "socially stunted" lmfao

regina's suite is nicknamed "the plastic suite"

grace is also a pre-law major? i didn't know that ngl

i keep forgetting that aaron exists. whoops.

clearly there was no plan for them to start hooking up as soon as they did bc i think janis was going to be a lot more avoidant than she ended up being

FAMILIES WEEKEND WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CHAPTER 8!!! OH MY GOD ????? the families weekend chapterS were 14-16. this poor sweet baby had no idea what she was getting into.

all their names written in cursive. i guess i was proving to myself that i could

there's some very early planning for the spring semester in the back of this. i'm not talking about anything though bc i refuse to commit to shit

miscellaneous shit

the hookup-to-costars fic (and then they called "cut") plan. it's still in the works. promise i'll finish it. maybe.

why not to be a bitch's sequel's early plans. there's nothing for part 2 which is probably why i haven't done it yet lol

a plan for a twin fic where regina and leighton are separated twins that meet again as adults and uncover family secrets. i want it to be a one shot someday but i need to finish my other shit

the Entire plan for the tumblr fic

fame fic part two: janis edition (last bit promise)

the entire chapter list for janis' pov

an entire list of janis' team and what they do and how long they've been with her. damian's on this list too lol. also notes about how cora and lia are IN LOVE and will never admit it. their energy is what i put into crash course fetchen lmfao

early version of janis' discography, including the two songs that janis wrote for her second album lol

first's lyrics in a very rough draft and kinda way too short ngl, it's like a 3:30-ish song in my head and very nostalgic sounding

the playlist list has like 25 songs, but the ones that i KNOW are on it are pull the plug by ashe, don't tell my mom by reneé, honey by halsey, what they'll say about us by finneas, and i know places by taylor swift <3

i think that's it for now but i hope this was a fun little view into everything. i enjoyed it and that's all that matters i think

go stream mad by reneé <3 it's so fucking good

[tthegoldentouch]

Icymi but also a little rambling about stuff I added here ( let me have this, I've spent more time w a dictionary writing this than I have in my last two years of highschool) and also bc I thought more writing this than I did any essay in my academic life 😔😔😔😔

1. The parchment shaped wall clock was supposed to be based on. This curio. I was so entraces by its design I pictured how something similar would look like as a clock (and yes this is a curio but it's weird looking enough that you can find it in some empty cardboard boxes or in the trash)

2. The soup made with nettle leaves- is inspired from Cignidaki zumi— an actual Romani dish, soup made with stinging nettle leaves. I found a bunch of romani recipes but this one really caught my eye bc we have stinging nettle plant here I didn't know u can eat them until now.

3. The pink diamond bit is from the jade's timeline thing hsr posted a while ago ofc, I wanted to see a follow up on it and didn't get it so I made my own reality. I don't think finding out his birthday would take jade much effort bc A. The reports mention the avgin extinction being on their religious festival kakava and. His name is kakavasha. B. But other than that, checking his files (esp in the beginning) I like to think the system is advanced enough that it automatically concerts various dating systems and such (they're modern Enough to have the synesthesia beacon)

4. The corundum stone (god BLESS finding a stone similar to his eyes took YEARS OFF MY LIFE) it has other colors? Don't worry. Hsr has better gemstones. We can't even get the diamonds from Uranus.

5. I have.... negative feelings about jade, if you couldn't tell. I tried not to make her like a completely evil lady, but given how she did call him to "talk" post penacony main quest in canon (it had layers too) I like to think between his whole thing in penacony and later actions she thought he might need a reminder. And shed know to pick a good time.

6. virtually no way for the reader to know his personal info if he doesn't give them UNLESS she knows someone like Jade. Had they asked topaz, she'd tell them that he doesn't like it (bc the stonehearts' birthdays and such are an occasion for a party/dinner/ etc, upper class socializing stuff (that is important to the business and cause) but aventurine doesn't do THAT even tho he does throw those necessary parties anyway. So it's obvious that he. Doesn't like celebrating it at least if nothing else. Later scrapped that cuz.... that's a lot of thinking

7. I thought of adding the catcakes bc cats (pets) are a great source of comfort for So many people. And they're incredibly good at sensing human emotions. And (canonically) they're said to be as intelligent as a 6 year old so. The catcakes remind him of food when aventurine is lost in his thoughts (and it doesn't feel like it's pleasant), to distract him and direct him towards a task. They all gather around him when he starts drinking bc while they likely don't understand the concept of drinking well they DO know he's distressed, so keeping him company to help him. They'd be a little freaked out to see him emotional I imagine, bc that's not something they ever saw (hence the immediate nervous attempt at comforting by nuzzling into him) I looked up how real cats act to write this and now I want a kitty do bad 😞😔

I also like. Didn't keep them in focus at all bc like....he's not in the headspace to think about them much. But they keep showing up bc that IS his family, too .

8. Dismissing a comforting smell as a potion seems something he'd do. There's actually an all good potion ( consumable) in hsr and while THAT one didn't end up in the market there's def similar stuff already. I imagine something that makes hospital food feel comforting for the patients would be popular, hence that conclusion

9. Kakavasha's shoes . I actually thought they were different when I wrote this but later realized that they seem ....to be modified. Mended maybe? But yeah. Only a pair of shoes

10. His mother smells of creosote bush. This species is found in the deserts of southwestern North America, and is said to smell of the desert rain. For a child who was blessed by rain on his birth day I think his mother likely smelt of rain, too.

11. I wanted to add in a scene with Aventurine's secretary to show she really NEVER looks at his eyes because they're. Usually seen as freaky and odd by people. And paired with the discomfort itself, she'd naturally be more careful to not do that to not offend him (him being her boss and. Because he knows how everyone sees them.) not like that's what HE wants, but what she assumes. But I decided to scrap that lol

12. Also he only managed to cry that much bc he was inebriated lol I don't think he'll ever cry like that otherwise (plus his house is empty so he doesn't have to hide it(

And I wrote down about him still remembering the painful memories with his family (while he tries to forget the extinction event desperately) bc he needs to Preserve their memory and spent like 10 minutes thinking about it preservation.... preservation....

But anyway that's about it!!

Happy Birthday, Aventurine!!

“Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget his birthday, again.”

Pairing: Aventurine x reader

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort in the end to compensate for everything else ❤️ Reader is not physically present in the fic (they're not dead it's ok)

wc: 3.3k

Aventurine was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door just as the sun began to slant westward.

With a sigh, he puts down the pen and glances at the wall clock. The hands on the parchment-shaped monstrosity read 1 pm, but his eyes are drawn back to the purple tongue protruding from its massively extended mouth. Seriously, where does Stelle find these items? "An ugly, purple parchment shaped wall clock that looks like it's ready to eat people"— isn't something most people would think to give him, to say the least. But that's the thing—it was Stelle.

She claimed to have found it during one of her "excavations." And even though Miss March 7th did her best to keep her friend from going into further details, stepping on Stelle's toes right in front of him and giving her a sidelong glance, as if he wouldn't notice, he could tell what kind of "excavations" would turn up something like this. Not like he minds the origins of this gift, however. Gifts from friends are few and far to come by, especially ones who actually tolerate him. Not to mention, Stelle likely sincerely believes that it's a cool gift, which is why it has replaced the diamond-embedded wall clock on his wall.

His musings are interrupted by a second knock, which, like the first one, reverberates once around the room before fading away in embarrassment. "Come in." He announces, reclining back in his seat and looking at the door with expectation in his eyes. It was not uncommon for his secretary to appear randomly in his office, constantly fussing over yet another minor issue. He believed it was her; at least, his itinerary showed he didn't have any guest visits today. Maybe it was time to replace assistants—the new hire is clearly not on the same wavelength as him. But he'd only recently had Topaz yell at him for changing staff so frequently; he'd prefer not to tell her that her choice was horribly disappointing just yet.

With a tiny bag bearing a brand he is all too acquainted with, the secretary enters the office. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor the entire time, hence doesn't notice when her supervisor raises an eyebrow at the sight of his favorite jewelry brand. "Sir," she says in a low, somewhat flat voice, akin to that of a news reporter. "Earlier, a staff of Madam Jade stopped by. You have a present."

A grin appears on Aventurine's face, followed by a joyful chuckle. With how busy work has been lately, he'd almost forgotten when he asked Jade for a pink diamond, as has Jade apparently, seeing how long it's taken for her to send this. His request was a joke, of course, only meant to irritate Topaz. But he wasn't surprised either; Jade always takes good care of her weaponry. "Ahhh, no wonder!" He chirps and presses his palms together. "She must've finally found some generosity in her heart, hm?" He muses, and his assistant can only stand there stoically. He waves her off as she places the bag on his table and departs with an unnecessary low bow, never looking at his eyes once. As always.

When the secretary has left the room, he opens the bag, humming as he removes the box and gift card. Jade's handwriting is distinctive: prim and precise cursive that resembles a font.

"Happy birthday, Aventurine. This jewel would suit you far better than the pink diamond you asked for, don't you think?" — Jade

Kakavasha freezes. His birthday, she says, but she'd need to align the standard calendar system to the Sigonian one to find that out. She sent him a…..….a gift? For his birthday? 

Is this a fucking joke?

The box reveals a chunk of corundum. Raw, uncut, pink and blue hues all over. Shades way too close to his eyes, and it doesn't take a gemologist to tell that Jade had done her searching thoroughly to obtain this. A jewel the color of his eyes, the color of Avgin eyes, neatly wrapped in a box for….to send ..what sort of message, exactly? Oh Avgin, never forget who you were before I found you—unpolished and undeserving. forget your name, but never your roots.  

The note is crumpled and thrown in the trashcan, while the corundum and its box are hastily and carelessly pushed back into the bag. Really, so typical of Jade, he scoffs as he tosses the godforsaken bag into a random drawer, never to be seen again. 

Kakavasha— no, Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget, again. 

In any case, Aventurine concludes that it is not good for him to worry about this too much. Yes, he can just forget about the corundum. Yes, he is able to forget how it resembled Avgin eyes. Yes, he can also forget that Jade most likely sent this to "keep him in check" following the stunt he did in Penacony. But it was a mistake on his part to not see something coming. She had done this before, and it would not be the last time. He smiles at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, composed, shrewd, and calculated. Since a mirror has the freedom of choice, it does not return his smile.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

By the time the car comes to a stop in front of his house, Aventurine is exhausted. His chauffeur unlocks the door for him, and he makes his way to the elevator. Yet he's interrupted again— of course, because it's a cursed day, and Aventurine has to restrain himself from scowling at the gateman, who stands in front of him wearing an anxious expression. "Sir, your friend had visited earlier to drop off something."

He raises an eyebrow and is about to inquire when he notices the bag the man is carrying. Without saying anything further, he simply takes the bag. You are the only one who'd own a dumb clockie bag and the only one who'd ever drop things off at his place.

When he steps in, his three catcakes meow loudly to greet him, and feels somewhat grateful for it. Today was just too exhausting, after all. He understands what this is about, based on the fact that you always give him gifts in person. Why, of all days, would you consider dropping it off today? And with no advanced notice- completely unlike you. How annoying, did Jade really have to do this too? He's never disclosed his birthday to you, so you probably coerced her into telling you, and she was glad to oblige, given you are of value to her.

Aventurine doesn't realize he's been standing in the kitchen for a long time until Spade begins massaging its fluffy body on his legs. He is surrounded by his three catcakes, who are all staring up at him expectantly. The message is crystal clear: We Want Food. He moves swiftly to get their food bowls, chuckling to himself before setting your lunchbox on the counter, sort of as an afterthought. At least they'll be able to go to bed well fed tonight. 

After serving them dinner, he leaves the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine, hoping to spend the remainder of the evening crashing on the couch. He can just leave everything else for tomorrow. The benefit of drinking is that it can temporarily impair your ability to sense emotions. He only needs a short term fix, after all. Come tomorrow, he'll take hangover pills, and walk out of this house as Aventurine of the stratagems again— undoubtedly.

He turns on a random B-grade movie, prepared to drink the night away. And he does precisely that—he pushes down thoughts of how his childhood friends, whose features now misty in his memories, would react if they were to see him. With another shot, he pushes down recollections of his mother's cooking—the special meals for the Kakava—and his birthday. Another to accept the now-blurry face of his sister in his memory as the only proof of her existence. Another to forget the clay dolls she'd made for him, on the last birthday kakavasha got to celebrate, that were broken when he had to run for his life. And one more shot, and another, till he's forgotten everything; till he's numb and emotionless.

Feeling empty and hollow is far worse than anything else, and being unable to cry isn't as pleasant as he thought it'd be. But in his lavish home, where gold abounds in every nook and cranny, he has little reason for tears. Money may not be able to buy him happiness, as he is well aware, but it certainly does spare him from ugly tears unfit for his visage. Maybe that's why he hasn't cried in a while, or perhaps he has simply lost his soul somewhere along the way. He stays on the couch till 3 am, accompanied by his pets. He pretends not to see the troubled looks they shoot at him, whispered words passed between them that are clearly about him. By the time he decides to rest for the night, he is fatigued, sluggish, and barely keeping it together.

When he gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, Ace makes a protesting noise before promptly shutting up. Catcakes are smart creatures, and they understand him better than most individuals in his life (or maybe the difference lies in care) His throat is dry, and ice cold water from the freezer provides enormous relief. However, the respite is taken away from him by the crackling lightning, loud as a whip, pulling out memories up to the forefront of his mind again. Of the lightning without the rain, of Sigonia-IV. The drumming of the thunder is largely hidden by the concrete walls, so it isn't as hard on the ear—but it aches a lot more than it did before. Aventurine sneers to himself, dismissing the idea as ludicrous. As if.

The second time the thunder sizzles, Aventurine has to take a sharp breath and grip the countertop to steady himself. It sounds like playing dead in the bleeding streams of Sigonia-IV, like the booming cackle of the mocking thunder. Had he been an insolent child, just a little more doubtful than he already was, he'd believe it was Mama Fenge herself laughing at her so called "blessed child". The thunder sounds similar, but it's not the same. No, because this is still Aventurine and he's still here and those are someone else's memories, forgotten and buried in sand.

Aventurine sighs.

Drinking too much has never done any good to him.

Just as he is ready to leave the kitchen, he notices the lunchbox sitting the counter out of the corner of his eye. Oh, right. He hadn't even touched it. A distraction doesn't seem bad now, though. If he wants to fabricate a plausible lie about eating the food, he would at least need to know what kind of food you sent. If the mental image of your frown after discovering he never even looked at what you sent is what gives him the final push , he would never admit it.

The lunchbox has a plains bear cub logo: you've always been a sucker for cute things. He sets aside the little note attached for later this time, preferring to taste the dinner first. It looks like you chose to make him some kind of soup. Insulated lunchboxes are a blessing— because it's surely been well over half a day since you made it, yet it's still warm. While the presentation is relatively simple, it smells strangely comforting— effect of some potion? He's heard of those, but they're usually used for sick patients, no? Other than that, this is the first homemade meal he's having in a….while. Not that it matters. Aventurine isn't picky, and while the leafy greens are unfamiliar to him, he believes he can handle at least a tablespoon.

Even the largest avalanche can be triggered by the smallest of things. Just one spoonful, and yet it's enough to make his world stop.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The dry, broken soil scraped against his bare feet, producing little clouds of dust in its wake. His strides were light and rapid, nearly tripping over himself with excitement and giddiness. Just a little more, and he'll reach the finish line. Even the Sun's typical glare felt kind today; warm and tender against his tanned skin. Jumping over the homemade hurdles, he reaches the finish line far ahead of his friends. They protest and pout, and he taunts them with the biggest smile on his face. The soles of his feet feel slightly sore from running barefoot, but Kakavasha wouldn't risk destroying his only pair of shoes for a game. 

When he hears his sister's voice calling for him, he rushes to embrace her and buries his face in her apron. His mother once told him that the Avgins all possess lovely voices, but Kakavasha believes his sister's is the best, especially when she laughs.

"And when will you listen to me and stop running around in the middle of the day, hm?" She pinches his nose and uses her apron to wipe the dirt off his face. Kakavasha beams at her with no regrets, proudly displaying the gap between his teeth. Once kakavasha had said his goodbyes to his friends, they walk hand in hand towards their tent.

There, his mother welcomes them with a warm embrace that smells like creosote bush and desert rain. “My darling," she coos, putting his small hands in her larger ones, rough from labour. "I remember you promised to be on time for lunch last time?" He grins cheekily, vowing not to do it again. (He's a repeat offender, but he knows that his mother and sister can't stay upset at him for long.)

His mother laughs, and tells him to tidy up before eating. Kakavasha's tummy is grumbling by the time he returns, and he finds the mats his sister laid down to sit on. The two siblings sit next to each other, chatting and giggling as they wait for their mother. She serves them a pot of hot soup with nettle leaves and lentils, just the way Kakavasha prefers it. He's overjoyed; quickly finishing his prayers before digging in. Kakavasha is a growing boy, and that's proved again when he finishes his bowl before his family.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The soup she'd served him back then wasn't anything lavish; just a simple soup with local herbs and nettle leaves in a broth that smelt so uniquely of hers. His mama may have had a knack for cooking, but due to a lack of opportunities and resources, she never got to demonstrate her abilities. Compared to that, your food is much finer, and while excellent, it lacks the warmth of his mother's hands.  

Nevertheless, he can't resist taking another spoonful and quickly putting it in his mouth because the familiarity is so, so palpable. He recalls that his sister wanted him to eat better, so she gave him half of her portion after he finished his. His mother then gave his sister half of her portion, as they are Both growing children. All of a sudden, the bickering, the laughs, and their voices are as plain as day in his mind. He can't fully recall the glitter in his sister's eyes or the dimple on his mother's cheek, but it's clearer than any other memory he had of them, that's for sure. 

Aventurine can't stop crying, even if he wants to. Trying to halt the choking sobbing is fruitless, as is trying to figure out what's going on. He picks up the little message with shaking hands, hoping—praying—that it will help. You'll make it make sense. Somehow.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“Dear Aventurine, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!”  

Written in thin, flowing, rounded letters that are noticeably cleaner than your actual handwriting. You undoubtedly put a lot of effort into each letter you wrote. Aventurine was correct in assuming you found out his birthday through Jade, as you have written it here. "Buying a gift for you seems…a little perfunctory," you said, "so I've settled with cooking you something myself."

"And if the dish tastes familiar (which I hope it does) then yes, you've guessed it right— it's a traditional Avgin dish."

The perfumed ink is thicker here, a few ink blots from where you've likely paused to think, go over each sentence in your head before writing them down.

You mention finding the Avgin dishes by reading some kind of research paper on Sigonian culture and food, but Aventurine isn't sure he can believe that. You wrote, "I was fortunate enough," yet chance alone wouldn't get you something like that. Sure, maybe some doctoral candidate was crazy enough to choose a dead planet and its deader tribes to write about, but finding that paper would be too difficult. The biggest issue, however, is that Aventurine believes this dish should not and cannot exist. The stinging nettle leaves his mother used are no longer available, and while he didn't know much about cooking at the time, he was aware that all of the spices he knew were almost extinct. He's looked enough to know.

"I'll be honest, I had some trouble locating the ingredients for it and had to swap the majority of them because I couldn't find them. I really wanted to bring back a familiar feeling, even if it tastes very different from how you remember it. Plus, it's the thought that counts, right?"

In contrast to the light-hearted language, your writing is slightly wobbly and darker here, and Aventurine wonders if you realise your emotions seep through every single one of your actions, laid bare for the world to see.

Noting the disappearance of their owner, curious, the catcakes peep into the kitchen are immediately alarmed to see their owner sitting on the counter stool, sobbing and clutching a box. Spade, unsure of what to do, nuzzles it's head on Aventurine's leg, while the others meow in an attempt to calm him down. Aventurine hasn't sobbed in a long time—he can't remember how to anymore. His body shakes with each ragged and broken sob, sounding shattered and damaged, but he can't stop.

"I hope it brings you fond memories" is what you wrote down, but are you aware of the full impact of what you did for him? Most likely not. Aventurine cherishes all of his memories, including the unpleasant ones: as long as it involves his family. His misery knows no bounds, but he's only had a few years with his sister, and even fewer with his mother. So even the saddest memories are never forgotten, so he can preserve as much of them as possible. They live through his memories, after all. 

Even when plain, his mother's meals provided him with more warmth than anything else back then. To feel that warmth decades later is a blessing he can't repay— but a blessing nonetheless. He doesn't have many memories like this one either, gentle and happy, contrary to the endless memories of struggling. He remembers their love so vividly right now, feels it so strongly, alongside yours— that he has no choice but to revel in it.

(Come tomorrow , when he's sober, puffy-eyed from crying and not as vulnerable, he'll have trouble figuring your reasoning. But for now, he'll be fine. Tonight, he'll go to sleep feeling loved. Tonight, his pets will cuddle him to sleep. Tonight, he'll dream of a Sigonia Only he knows.)

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

A/N: I'm honestly still so embarrassed about this bc I have an idea but can't execute it like I want to and 🫠🫠 As always, comments and reblogs are really appreciated!! Thank you for reading <3

[the-canine-king]

Okay so funny story, I was listening to Uninstall again and it became an earworm before I finally decided to check out the media where this song came from (or at least the manga), Bokurano

After reading the first volume I literally couldn't put it down and committed to finish reading it. Here's my honest thoughts on it (not really a formal review). Also I'm gonna spoil it bc there's no way not to spoil it if I want to talk about the story lol

First off, I'm actually a complete sucker for dark psychological/ existential stuff that talk about morality and life and don't mind darker tones being addressed in stories. The manga does not shy away from the ugliness and tragedy of it all and it's the centerpiece to a lot of the character's stories. Characters having to choose which choice is the "right" moral choice is always so fun to read. Plus, all of them don't share the same moral compass which is always so fun to read different perspectives and arguments. Compared to the saturation of "being the good hero" in stories, I love when characters are cruel and selfish for their own personal gain. I don't like them as a person but as a writing device? A painful yet entertaining read.

Despite the story being pretty simple (due to it feeling "episodic" since it just develops one pilot at a time) and predictable (in some parts lol), I really enjoyed the story through and through and in my opinion it worked pretty effectively. I was going to try to pick out a favourite pilot, but I honestly think almost all of them had a solid, satisfying story despite the tragedy. … Almost all of them.

Kanji's probably felt the weakest one. Each character had a chapter or so to establish who they are and their story so far. For Kanji, it almost felt incredibly nonchalant? Despite being the third last battle, it didn't feel completely satisfying on how it ended his story. Sure, it might've been set up for Ushiro's battle (the question of "would you kill an ally to save 10 billion?" leading up to "would you destroy a world to save your own?" all very fun moral conflicts), but it almost felt like there was no build up or "resolution". He died shooting an ally which is such a rough thing to put a kid through, but at least the others had some sort of "conclusion" on their life stories. (Such as having the resolve to protect others or having the last chance to be with a parent that neglected them) I did like that tactical planning involved and it was an incredibly depressing read when they were at their wits end. Him dying on top of his mother's building was really touching in a way(??? idk how else to explain) but again it was disappointing that there was not much with him.

Chizu's story I'm incredibly annoyed with. I wish nothing but a thousand deaths for the teacher and those associated with him. I'm so… fucking pissed that he got away with it. Like how?? AND he still got hired WHILE he's STILL doing that?? AND Like there was nothing in the story that pointed towards any good reason to keep him alive (revenge is bad, he's a good guy in a way now, people change, etc.) like MAYBE if there was some sort of discussion on the justice system or how things like these are always going to continue to happen to other girls (like the new girl he started talking to). But it was so dog ass lame that I seriously just couldn't believe he went away with it. I was shocked when Kirie stabbed him, I thought he killed him and it was going to be about the cycle of revenge or it contributes to his apathy towards life itself. While I highly enjoyed Kirie's story, I honestly think he should've killed him lol. Also, it's so fucking annoying that there was a whole discussion about the moral conflicts of protecting those close to you even if it means killing a stranger and then… Chizu's family is so okay with what happened between her and her sister?? Like I guess they wanted to show how despite it all she still killed many in her quest of revenge but at the same time she's your family member that got pregnant and raped by a teacher how is that in any way a good message. Chizu's sister pissed me the fuck OFF. "Oh I don't talk to him anymore" HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SISTER…? PLUS, he was the major tip/ leak about the pilot's identities, if the government was so hellbent on making news outlets and tabloids keeping it a secret WHYYYY did they fucking release him??? I read someone's complaints about it on reddit and I completely agree w/ almost every point. Like idk about you but kids having innocent crushes on adults are completely normal, rapists and pedos are a terrifying reality that can happen to other people too. Doing nothing about said criminals either in a good or darker way? Absolutely unforgivable. Again, I would've been (to some extent) fine with it if there was SOME sort of discussion or critique about him getting away with it, but it's completely brushed off (worse that they tried to make Chizu JUST as bad as him).

And now with Machi… I'm incredibly conflicted on her story and twist. To be fair it was 3am and I was binge reading w/ a headache near the end so I probably missed a lot of details. But now that I'm awake and read some explanations about it I guess it works…? Again this is because I was completely confused during this time but now that I get it I think I have a new appreciation to the character. So at first it was gonna be rant but I concede since I'm actually just a dumbass lol.

Also I just want to say the art is seriously not as bad as people make it out to be lol. They make it sound like it's some amature work, but all of the characters have such a refreshing look to the style with their diversity of design. I mean it's not that extreme of a diversity but it's nice to see varied head and eye shapes in a manga since nowadays it's the same proportions.

EDIT: I forgot to say but idk how I felt about the kid's ages for the sake of the story. Like yeah it's children fighting a battle to determine which world gets to live and it's sad but at the same time it reads too mature for them? I suppose it's meant to be similar to a coming of age story and children being more philosophically open/ curious about life and death but lol. a fourth grader talking about the relationships and family blood in some mature way is kinda jarring

Overall, great story and great read. After clearing up my confusion I honestly think I might raise my score a little. 7.5/10 to maybe even an 8/10 (high maybe, i felt like it could've done a bit more but at the same time it was good enough?). Would highly recommend for those who like dark, depressing tales and a discussion on the importance of life and moral choices.

[fletchfeathers]

blorboposting ahoy bc this is too long for twitter but AAAAAAAAAA i am going insane over phoenix and i need to just spill my brainworms lol

obviously i'm not expecting anyone to read this esp if you're not in the campaign but if y'all want some came-back-wrong soup i gotchu

so for brief, brief context in case anyone who isn't blaze or dany reads this lmao: phoenix in this game is a Literal Phoenix, who reincarnates after an unspecified amount of time each time he dies; he's extremely New to his current life and still kind of regaining his old powers and memories and whatnot and we've been really delving into that in the game and it's been such good soup, bc in his past life he was a Conquest Paladin and a Champion of Tiamat and an absolute destructive violent force and phoenix now is a small, shy, doing-his-best sorcerer that couldn't be more different to The Firebird he used to be

and yeah i just . i'm so obsessed with this narrative thread that's forming after going back through his memories and confronting his Literal Past Self in a huge fight - a past self that was (is) like ... both a terrifying, extremely powerful warrior and a force of nature unto himself, but also very much A Very Morally Grey person where phoenix now is trying so, so hard to be as good as he's capable of being - and having that past self loathe what he became and be actively trying to kill him before phoenix could talk him down

but also having the knowledge/memories of that past self being the version that his husband fell in love with, that his red dragon found family still loves and misses, that basically was responsible for everything he has - or y'know at least everything he thought he had, because now he isn't sure if he's taking something that was never his from this person

and phoenix being just so lost in those feelings of like. yes i am the version of you that exists now. i am so different and so much less in so many ways, and i don't remember all these people that seem to remember us so fondly, and you left such an unbelievably vast legacy to fill that i don't know if i can live up to, and i am terrified of you because you being part of me means i am completely capable of doing all of those terrible things you did when left unchecked, that the world is so incredibly fucked because of you but also because of me even though i only just remember doing any of it, and i can tell that all these people i have come to love and cherish are yearning for that version of me that ... well, didn't exist, but now does, again, for me to actively witness being adored by them, and feeling like i am the ghost here and not the one whose soul was ripped back out of the afterlife to be sent on a vengenace quest to destroy my current self by the Campaign's Current Big Bad

and i can't deal it's so fucking good i can't wait to see where it goes and how it resolves in the end i'm. oughghgoghfuhgdhuihagfjklfjsd chews the paint off the waaaaaalls

[sovonight]

tell me. how hard can it be to hear this one line in-game

i originally searched the entire nashkel carnival (oh ho, how FOOLISH of me to think circus = carnival) until a 2008 forum post pointed me to the area “north of nashkel”

so i cleared the whole area north of nashkel, but there were no gnomes to be found. then to be safe, i also went into the area north of the area north of nashkel, just in case the forum poster was mistaken. but again, as expected, there were no gno--WAIT ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY KIDDING ME

while getting a map screenshot, i walked back through the area north of nashkel, and they were right by the road as though they had been there all along

and. well. i could’ve done without the dieting premise but finally seeing the magic trick where he blatantly did not make the assistant i was thinking of disappear filled a gap in my bg1 experience, i guess

and of course,

[guiltycorp]

Great additions, thank you. That is the core of my issues with the route probably, the predetermination... And instead of subverting or playing with it the game just goes 'yep so anything you do is in line with what you must do, you will succeed in fulfilling your destiny either way, good job man' like alright. Does he really care about anything except for his mission? Unclear.

What DO you hold dear my dude... The only thing I disagree with is that the Haruspex feels obliged to hold an inferior position in comparison to the Bachelor - I don't think he does? They definitely have a transactional relationship and the Haruspex keeps responding to the Bachelor's letters by turning up - but only while they have a common goal in creating the panacea (this is why I especially liked an early side quest where Grief is menacing Notkin's bunch and asks Artemy to bring him the Bachelor... and the latter acquiesces for the sake of the children, not to gain something from it... just felt nice, wish we had more of that). Then Daniil has to be like 'maybe the tower is your udurgh!' to keep Artemy coming back to help him out in a mutual exchange bc by then Artemy started going to Aglaya and Oyun instead... Yeah still looking for other people to tell him what to do, but in a vaguely exploitative way. It's difficult to tell who was the first one between them to assume that each favor needed to be beneficial to them both or returned in another way but I suppose it fits the nature of the Town, always trading things back and forth. ...I did love that the Bachelor gets really mad if you don't tell him about your Abattoir adventures at one point pff.

'Whatever,' As for the address, Daniil is a doctor and a bachelor, so that's what Artemy keeps calling him, only alternating the language he's doing it in. Some manner of oynon, oynon Dankovsky, the Bachelor. There are npcs who address Artemy himself as 'oynon' so it applies to them both (although I could swear there was a dialogue where he was explaining that he doesn't count as one before taking on his father's inheritance fully and yet I couldn't find it so hm maybe mixed it up with smth else.. either way he def became one after inheriting yep). Also, there was this line of dialogue towards officer Longin (in Russian it's about the tu-vous difference but either way it reads as a refusal to submit to non-Kin social structure, same way he bristles against Olgimskys' attempts to bring him to heel).

So I feel like not switching to first-name basis is more about his colder personality? It's not that he distrusts Daniil, one of the first things he says about him is that he could immediately tell that the Bachelor is an extremely honest kind of person, but hmm... His friendship with Rubin seems much better off even despite their initial misunderstanding and he switches to calling the Inquisitor by her first name almost immediately, so my interpretation is just that he always operated under the assumption that Daniil's goals would diverge from his own sooner or later (again that predetermination streak), and that was already enough for him to stay on guard despite the supposed 'friendship'. A lot of his later game dialogue options after knowing where the Bachelor stands are straight up mean, not very friendly or submissive if you ask me.

He talks with the same derisive forwardness in the Bachelor's route when it comes to Aglaya, somehow he just doesn't seem to relate to him at all (even though I think he should have, what with Oyun jerking him around in similar enough ways). So if anything it is the Bachelor in Haruspex route who is doing his best to ingratiate himself at least a little, just like Capella said... @the-invisible-foe but mentioning the Bachelor in unrelated journal notes is interesting, I didn't even pay attention to that but yeah, that's something at least!

how to get into your man's head by sending him letters daily 101 ...eh honestly there are also so many moments when one of them starts getting upset about being perceived as dumb by the other too now that I think about it... it def feels like a case of fragile male ego for the haruspex for sure at least, just kinda a need to prove himself to this educated capital man while also establishing that his way is fundamentally 'better'... trying to impress each other and then getting mad about it, idk yeah there's something there maybe, and p2 also explored that sort of thing...

Okay finished the Haruspex route of Pathologic Classic! I need to play Clara's route to see the whole picture but I'm already fascinated by the differences between P1 and P2 in terms of characterization. I think I like Pathologic 2 even more now considering how they improved on Artemy's route, I am sorry to say I didn't like it at all in classic... This is all just my personal impression after first playthrough ofc. Ramblings about both Artemy and Daniil ↓ I think what bothered me about Haruspex was mostly just his attitude and his messiah plot. Once the first day is out of the way it's all smooth sailing for him, a bit too much so?? The only personal conflict he has is figuring out his father's exact wishes for him and choosing a sacrifice. Killing anyone is treated as fair or something that needed to happen and the Haruspex is always shrugging it off... And either option, Aglaya & the Town or Polyhedron... It just doesn't seem like he is that attached to either? So it doesn't feel like he is sacrificing much personally? Like sure he wants to save the Town because of his messianic qualities, but that's again more about fulfilling his 'role' rather than genuinely wanting to save lives, or at least it read that way to me. I'm sure it's meant to be both and P2 makes this far more apparent, but in P1 it elicited a rather squinty reaction from me. Plus well yeah, getting rid of Polyhedron is pretty much just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, like yep he sure didn't care about that thing lmao so getting rid of it isn't such a difficult choice at all. The suggestion that the Polyhedron could be his Udurgh is kind of useless because the Town and Earth are far better candidates and fit with Kin beliefs better, which in this game Artemy pretty much doesn't doubt at all.  Maybe this is why the Bachelor is so present in his route? Daniil did say he'd commit suicide if he lost, maybe we'd want to think twice about pushing him towards it... But again! Does it seem like this guy cares ahhh haha... The dialogue option that is actually engaging with what Daniil said is pretty much there to make it clear to the player what the Utopian ending is and what it would be like.

Ngl at first I thought he was meant to be the 'sacrifice' until they said it's a woman. Every time Artemy learned something about the Bachelor's motivations he'd write down in his diary like '...if it matters' since the player can always choose what ending to go with I guess. I also find it curious that he can say that they are friends but still always writing only 'the Bachelor' in his diaries while Daniil switched to 'Artemy' and 'Burakh' during the final stretch. The one-sided yaoi................ 🤔 At least Artemy doesn't get mad at him for ordering to set the mythic bull on fire, I guess their friendship did mean something to him after all at that point. Also when Capella tells him that he should ask the Bachelor for help with getting into the Polyhedron since the Bachelor 'fawns upon you a lot anyway' the Haruspex just goes 'oh yeah! ok' fjdghdjg... Now that I think about it I DID like the Haruspex route for what it did with the Bachelor hahah, his dialogues and letters are just so good sometimes. Like wow, I felt this.

Very cool, if i was Artemy I'd totally abandon my weird murderous calling for this. Tangentially related... P2 had one moment that I remember from my last replay when Rubin, if kept alive, falls into a deep deserved sleep in his home, and Artemy just starts emotionally monologuing at him.

Like, P1 Artemy would never, but also it goes to show that he's still very much a repressed man here too, buying into toxic masculinity ideals who can't just talk to his friends about his feelings directly... The same character, but more complex. I want to make it clear that I DO like him and his motivations in P2 actually, and his personal conflict being more about the future of the Kin makes that game much more powerful to me than what his classic route was. I heard that initially he was planned to be far more violent and dark, so maybe he could have been sort of a villain protagonist and this was changed later and this is why it feels a bit bland? Hmm... Idk this is fun to me because meanwhile the Bachelor didn't feel that different to me in both games lmao. A highly stressed educated guy who is just trying to prevent the spread of epidemic the 'right' way and then clinging to the only chance he has left to preserve both his ideals and his life. He is a bit less polite in P2 at first (while still very much helping by warding off Rubin) but then rather quickly becomes more cordial to Artemy and vice versa (and wow it sure is nice when Artemy can actually be polite and friendly..). And the moment when he explains some of his personal deal to Artemy feels rather similar in both iterations mood-wise.

I liked his route in P1 a lot, surprisingly so, and I now understand why so many people liked him before P2 came out and afterwards too... There's just something very real about how he is the intelligent Capital doctor but with an extraordinary dream to combat death itself, possibly given to him by the Powers That Be due to these children trying to cope with people dying around them. And instead of favoring him for it they hate him! They leave him with nothing but this final chance to fix things, even if that means destroying everything and rebuilding anew. Daniil's desperation feels very real and thus more compelling, plus like... I mean it's pretty much confirmed that it's not just the Polyhedron and that the soil itself is 'rotten' (literally in the meta real world and through blood beneath the earth in the Town itself) and the decease could return again, sooo his ending doesn't look that bad comparatively. I also appreciated how Maria (or uhh was it Nina talking through her here as well?) explained how their Utopia doesn't actually mean a 'perfect' place, more so just an impossible dream.

The Bachelor doesn't mind this at all, a detail I loved.

...Hmm that said maybe P1 makes it a little too easy for him to kinda ignore the Kin issue, he is only mad about their circumstances when it comes to Vlad choosing to doom thousands of the Kin workers inside the Termitary (which is just his doctor ethics). I mean it is realistic for him to ignore the implications of representing the imperialist side, he does mention his father was a military man too at some point I think... Still, he is very quick to accept the Kin's unique beliefs as something that has obvious merit, trusting the Haruspex with that side of things in both of their routes, and he doesn't make much of a distinction between them and regular Town people when it comes to patient treatment. If anything it's probably a sign of how the writers weren't thinking that hard about this worldbuilding aspect at the time... even if I appreciated them showing the downsides of the Kin's society, I think those were done better than in P2 purely because it was a bit more realistic (I am talking about sexism mostly, such as selling their own daughters and not respecting their autonomy, plus the mention of Kin politics and different ruling clans rather than the hive mind situation implied in P2). Like, it is more obvious in P1 that wholeheartedly embracing the Kin's return to tradition isn't such a good solution for them either, but one that will likely happen anyway with Artemy and Taya as their new leaders. And it could get trickier in Pathologic 3 I think, especially since most of us really appreciated the portrayal of colonization in P2 and would expect it getting addressed again in future games of other character routes, but we'll see I guess! Either way I look forward to that game a lot now.