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spacelesbiandisaster · 4 months ago

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Do you guys think Barriss knew about what happened with Rafa and Trace Martez?

Because I started to rewatch Clone Wars recently to pickup on lore for a fanfic I pretend to write I started to wonder if Barriss was aware of the Martez parents fate and ended up with a headcanon about that.

So, we a (almost) certain that was Luminara the one who changed the trajectory of a crashing ship who end up destroying the Martinez sisters home with their parents still inside. At least the description that Rafa give us mach her almost perfect:

I sure that is a lot of beautiful green skin Jedi with the order, even Barriss fits in that description if we really want to push it, but I think it's already common sense with the fandom that Rafa was talking about Luminara. And I couldn't agree more! Luminara being the one involved in this opens up so much room for potential new stories.

Could you imagine a Tales of the Jedi arc with Luminara fighting in the war and having to make difficult decisions such as that to protect a falling republic? How would she deal with her responsibility was a Jedi when the council is constantly sending away to battlefronts? That would be absolutely perfect! I almost with I could suggest to Filoni personally.

But the way Rafa describe the scene sounds like Luminara wasn't the only Jedi who came see her and Trace...

"Afterwords the Jedi came back and one of them came over to me. (...)"

One of them.

So who are the others?

I believe Barriss must been one of them. Remember this all happened in the beginning of the clones wars while the Jedi were capturing Ziro the Hutt (I believe it was in season 1 or 2). There's is no reason for Barriss don't be around at the time, especially given that she is Luminara's Padawan and they were on curruscant, not too far away from the Jedi temple.

She was with Luminara when that ship start to crash. Maybe she even was the one to made the call to set the ship on the apparently empty house to save the people she saw walking on the street and bc everything was happening so fast so Luminara agreed. And honestly, what other choice did they had? It's not like they knew the Martez parents was inside the house, Jedi don't have x-ray vision, and was their job to save as many life as they could. So the two of them did what they had to do, but later they learn about the orphans girls and pay they a visit. Luminara took the responsibility of talking to the orphans because she was the Jedi master (and probably bc Barriss would had been too shocked to stay put in she situation. She is a teenager girl after all) while Barriss stayed aside watching.

It could had been more Jedi with them, but I believe that is very unlikely given that they were fighting a war. The council couldn't realistic spare 5 Jedi to speak to every orphan the war left, but a Jedi Master and their Padawan seen fit for this quest.

At first I thought that was it: Luminara told the sisters the force would be with them and didn't do anything else about the situation, but analysing further what Rafa told Ahsoka changed my mind:

"(...) Trace and I were left, without a home. Just left there to find our way in their system."

Of course that Rafa could be referring to the republic was the Jedi system and they were left on the street, but being Luminara the Jedi involved I believe she left the girls on a orphanage of sorts and when Rafa become of age she find a place and won the right to bring Trace with her. So they had some kind of assistance after their parents death, but we all know that this kind of system had lots and lots of problems and high chance is they weren't take care properly. Not that Luminara or Barriss could had known such a thing, so they truly believed they were doing good to Rafa and Trace.

But why this is important?, you may ask. What difference does it make if Barriss was that or not?

Well, do you remember what happened to Ziro not long after that?

He broke way from prison!

Jabba paid Cade Bane (and I think Aurra Sing too) to go to curruscant's prison and take Ziro back to Nal Hutta to pay for the crimes he commit against Jabba's son. The show have two whole arcs about it and both together form one of my favorites stories on the clone wars.

But picture this: Barriss up to that point was very careful to not hurt anyone. On the second battle of geonossis she is talking about the importance of saving lives even when it means sacrificing herself going as far as asking Ahsoka to kill her just to prevent some weird mind controlling worms to spread to the galaxy. This same girl unintentional kill two person to same many on that ship crash and couldn't do anything to truly help the orphans that were left behind. All because of some Hutt crime lord the Jedi and the republic allowed to prospect in Coruscant (Ziro had a damn cantina on the lower levels! With bounty hunters and other criminals running around all the time and no one made anything about it until Jabba's son, another crime lord, order they to act). And like that wasn't enough, Cade Bane kill lots and a lot of people during his mission to "rescue" Ziro.

I can imagine Barriss looking at all that and wondering what was the point of sacrificing the Martez parents on the first place if everything just end up returning to the status quo. The choice Luminara and Barriss made didn't make anyone life better. People still died. The Martinez sisters were alone. And both the republic and the Jedi were conducting their actions base on what Jabba the Hutt wanted.

That could had been the moment she realized the number of wrong thing were happening because of the order and how far they had fallen from their old ways. Barriss was a solder when she should have been a pace keeper and there's nothing she could do that made the Jedi realize what they were doing to her, to all her Padawans friends and to the galaxy as a whole.

Well... Almost nothing...

My personal theory/headcanon is the Martinez sisters incident were the thing that let Barriss to her radicalization and to the Jedi temple bombing.

She probably decided to stay in Curruscant to try to help the people who live there even though she supposed to stay with Luminara and ended up meeting Letta and her husband Jackal (I think that's how it's spelled) and Letta start to talk about doing this great act to attract attention of the Jedi and of the people and was Barriss was spending all the alternatives she had to resolve the problem in a pacific way she started to agree.

I also think the bombing didn't work out the way Barriss intended to because the girl were a total mess on the Wrong Jedi arc.

Maybe Letta feed the nano droids to her husband a little to early, or they were never meant to be feed the him on the first place (Can you imagine Barriss Offe planning on using a civilian was a living bomb? The Barriss we knew from the second battle of geonossis would rather eat the droids herself!) either way Barriss definitely wasn't in her right mind. Other wise she could had save both Ahsoka and herself from prison very easily by blaming Ventress for all her crimes and this is how:

In the Wrong Jedi arc Barriss a holo transmission were she both learn that Ahsoka and Ventress were together and tell Ahsoka were the nano droids droids were.

Right after that Barriss proceed to stole Ventress lightsabers and go to the deposit Ahsoka is look for the bomb's disguise was Ventress so she can fight Ahsoka.

But why she does that?

If her intended was to further incriminate Ahsoka she could had just called the guards who would seem Ahsoka in a room full of nano droids and would go like "Yeah, she returns to the crime scene, there's is no way this kid is innocent".

And if her intended was to incriminate Ventress she should had put her in the room while unconscious. Then she could proceed to fight Ahsoka and stage a situation were Ahsoka finds Ventress there and when the guards eventually show up they would shoot at the separatist rather than command Tano.

So yeah, Barriss was spiraling over guilt so hard she couldn't think straight. And I couldn't think of any other reason in cannon that could had sparkle such reaction (I you know of something else I'm begging me to tell me!).

Barriss had to correct her mistake if the crashing ship incident, but the Jedi didn't listen to her, so she plan something big to gain the attention but her accomplice fuck somethings up and everything gotta way out of control so she ends up killing even more civilians and the rest we can imagine from there: She kills Letta because she was freak out about taking all the blame, end up feeling even more guilt (if this is even possible) and on a desperately attempt to save Ahsoka she tries to blame Ventress but fails spectacularly.

This is all speculation, but I'm choosing to believe that the Martinez parents death play some part on Barriss's Arc. It really is a tragic event that exposes all the cracks in the role the Jedi said they perform as well as the failing republic as a whole.

I would love to Barriss reaction to that on screen I totally think could be part of a hypothetical Luminara story on a future season of Tales of the Jedi.

But what do you think?

Like I said I planning to write a fanfic that has a great role for Barriss and would be super helpful to her others people opinions on the character, so feel free to reach me out to share your personal head cannons and theorys!

(Ps: I'm still learning english so please forgive me if that was a hard to read post)

(Also could you imagine how funny/tragic would be if both Ahsoka's ex-girlfriend and ex-mother in lawn were involved in the death of her current girlfriend, that being Trace, parents? That is good lesbian drama right there!)

#barriss offee #trace martez #rafa martez #ahsoka tano #barrissoka #tracesoka #sw clone wars #star wars #tales of the empire #tales of the jedi #luminara unduli #master luminara

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tagthescullion · 3 months ago

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Do you have any headcanons about Chris Rodriguez?

His name, for example.. I like cristobal rodríguez (I know cristian is a name in spanish too, but cristobal is more dramatic --also, rodríguez goes with a tilde--)

his mother's from veracruz, méxico (he was born there too)

his mum didn't know who hermes was, she married when chris was little and had a few kids with her new partner

one of them is marisol (a.k.a 'mari', a.k.a. 'mary', the one chris is talking about in BotL), he loves all his siblings but always got along better with marisol

when he was 12 a monster tried to attack him on his way back from fútbol and a satyr on his quest to find pan saw the whole thing and told chris' mum sent him to new york that summer

when chris first got to camp, he felt a bit lost, the culture was different, he missed his parents and siblings, he had to make an effort to think in english when he was tired (annoying thing to have to do, truly)

and his father didn't claim him

luke told him it was okay, gods were like that, that they were a family anyway, who needed recognition from those assholes

chris loved luke, he was the older brother --officially, even if he didn't know it yet-- he always wanted

he was always annoyed when clarisse went on and on about 'making ares proud' bc he was jealous that she knew who her father was, and did she really have to shove it in eveybody's face all the time??

but then once, after capture-the-flag, the ares cabin lost and clarisse was super upset --yelling at anybody who came close-- and off to the training arena.. chris followed her silently --he was always so good at staying quiet when needed-- and eventually saw her sit down angrily, arms crossed around her knees

he approached slowly, eventually, he got the courage to sit next to clarisse and waited until she spoke.. she told him that she dedicated all her triumphs --or attempts at winning-- to her father bc she was afraid he'd unclaim her if she fucked up

chris thought that sounded legit, and also that the gods were massive assholes (if anyone from méxico me quiere decir cómo dicen allá 'reverendos pelotudos hijos de puta', se agradece)

he told luke, a while later so as to not be so obvious, that he'd heard of other kids being wary of their godly parents revoking their claim, wondered perhaps if annabeth, always trying to prove her worth, might think that way too

luke neither confirmed nor denied annabeth's situation, but he told chris that yeah, he knew campers felt that way, that it was okay if chris was still upset about his deadbeat father not speaking up

chris asked if luke felt that way about hermes. "as if he could disinherit me? unclaim me? whatever gods do?" he snorted and explained to chris that nothing hermes did upset him anymore --not true but y'know how teenagers are--

he told chris that if gods couldn't even admit their children were theirs, they didn't deserve to use those children as weapons or tools --his quest had been bullshit, and had ended up with his questmate dead for no reason other than repeating other heroes exploits--

and y'know, to chris, luke was wise, and fair, and caring, why wouldn't he believe luke when he said there was another way?

I've a bunch more from later on but this is long enough as it is :D

#chris rodriguez #luke castellan #clarisse la rue #pjo #pjo hoo toa #riordanverse #pjo hcs #pjo headcanon #hcs #tagthescullion #cevenini responde

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chayannesegg · 1 year ago

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red team definitely loves lore and acting, but I really think it's be understated how much blue's actions are in-character. a major upset for red is how blue and green could just betray them immediately and start playing the game, but from blue's perspective this was completely logical and justified. from blue's perspective, this is a game that they are going to play (and try to win!) and the deaths don't mean anything to them bc it's part of the game. it's not a personal thing or a moral question for them. have bad, tubbo, pierre, tina ever shown a particular value for player deaths? no. and all of them have been quite willing to do adapt their approach with the circumstances and their needs.

tina tried being nice and it didn't work? she'll work with bad then. bad can't get his eggs back? he'll start kidnapping workers until something happens. fred's been kidnapped? tubbo is going to unravel quackity. with tina and bad, the easily shifting morality makes sense. they are both demons (or demonlike i know tina was iffy on what canon she wants for herself). with pierre, he's very used to be being a pawn in the federation's games at this point, this is just another game he has to play (idk much about ayrobot sorry).

tubbo is also used to playing the game. he has always reacted futilely to the federation's whims even if he didn't want to! look at his quest to fix ramon's machine. he and phil fought over that, bc phil couldn't understand why tubbo would just give in and break ramon's machines, betray his side? but from tubbo's perspective there was nothing he could do. feds were insistent, he was powerless, and the damage was already done by him being asked to do it. and this game is no different!! he's brought this mentality to pac too. who would otherwise be having a crisis about killing fit and losing everything. tubbo really helped him out by pointing out it was the futility of the game. pac gets to enjoy having a purpose and play the game even players like missa, who haven't participated in killing, have adapted to the game shift well. missa gets to feel useful and like he's not been left behind! he's enjoying himself and wants to participate! most of blue team was lonely, isolated, and purposeless. now they have been given a team, a purpose, and a reason to talk to people! of course they've taken well to this change! why wouldn't they?

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp tubbo #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp tinakitten #qsmp pac #qsmp aypierre #qsmp missa #qsmp soulfire #team soulfire #also lmao this is literally my first time posting on this sideblog PLEASE tell me if i tagged right #i wish i knew enough about green lore and stuff to write a post of equal detail. i could probably do etoiles bagi fit but no one else #also wish i knew more of pol rivers and lenay!!#pol seems like he's just chilling and he hasn't participated much in the mechanics so i didn't have much to say #rivers i know so little about :( but she seemed very into the game yesterday! i just dk how it fits in with her lore #lenay i also know little about but she seemed to be in a missa like boat where #she got to learn about the game and be part of a team where she's been pretty isolated/not on? but again idk her lore

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utilitycaster · 4 days ago

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speaking of regrets considerations for a second runthrough:

This time I'm actually doing the fucking puzzles and finding all the chests and mementos and codices and candlehops. It's funny bc I've had a draft in my notes reminding me to talk about why I like the crossroads as a concept. but also once I found everything I needed there I was like GOTTA GO GOTTA DO QUESTS AND STORY so I feel like I can't really write it. I also ended the game with a truly stupid amount of gold I hadn't used because I have zero interest in decorating things and I was good at finding valuables but like, I realized very late in the game that money can be exchanged for mementos. I may be stupid.

Relatedly, pacing out sidequests better; I got locked out of a sidequest and had to complete For The Love of Treviso first and it was kind of silly to go back to the Venatori/Crow couple after like. killing the Butcher. I also did the Solas Regret Sidequest very early.

Related to that, I played Rook as fairly trusting and honest and open in part because I was trying to romance Bellara, who appreciates a very positive and grounded touch, and in part because that sort of All Rook Knows Is 1300+ Necrotic Damage, Throw Her Shield, Hopeless Romanticism, Be Bisexual, And Tell The Truth character emerged eventually. I must admit as someone who leans very...well, Neve's flavor of "I assume this will go badly but deep in my heart despite it all I hope for the best" IRL it was a fun thing to explore, but I also really want to know what the more pragmatic decisions lead to. Again I know that technically I got the happiest ending but like. my heart really does say Dump Him Inquisitor. Anyway. I looked it up and apparently if you turn in the Venatori/Crow couple, the Crows like you more for it, and while the Crows liked me plenty and I don't even know if this happens still in a blighted Treviso, if it does, I'll need all the cred I can get.

Wait does this mean I will do a good job with Mythal all for naught. Much To Think About.

I was not good at checking for eavesdropping conversations early on so I missed almost all of Harding being suspicious of Lucanis, for one.

I ALSO fucked up the wisp conversation with Neve which is funny because again, what emerged later in the game was someone who absolutely would be down for a wisp stakeout. writing this off as "Rook was way too smitten with Bellara at the time to remember her Mourn Watch duties, and Emmrich arriving jolted her back into place there."

Did not realize Hezenkoss was in Emmrich's room until relatively late. Actually, if one of my mutuals (not @-ing anyone bc idk if they're done) hadn't posted about this I wouldn't have found out until the part of the game where you check in with everyone, which would have been EXTREMELY funny in the darkest way. going to find Emmrich standing on his sad moodlit balcony mourning Davrin and getting jump scared by. the skull.

Not a regret, just something I'm excited for: There were a few combinations of companions I rarely brought out either because their abilities didn't dovetail super well (Lucanis + Harding overlapped with my damage types and both had potion-based healing so I rarely brought them out together) or due to lack of healing abilities (I really only would ever bring out one of Davrin, Taash, or Neve; I paired them all pretty frequently with everyone else though) and now that I know which quests are unlikely to straight up murder me without a healer I'll try to do more, plus if I save Minrathous Neve will be one of my healers this time and Lucanis won't. Which is sad because Lucanis and Taash were actually The Best Combo Ever. I literally brought them into every endgame combat except for the ones where I explicitly couldn't because they were occupied with another task, and I still brought Taash for the final Isle of the Gods combat.

Also just something I'm excited for: exploring different options for the endgame; obviously Neve and Lucanis's will by default probably differ but I think Davrin and Taash's might be different as well in a different playthrough. I'm kind of hard to sway on Harding's and impossible on Emmrich's admittedly but Bellara's could go a different way, maybe.

#m guards the veil #datv spoilers

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serickswrites · 10 months ago

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Could you maybe whenever you have some free time do another misunderstanding trope?

Maybe something where Caretaker is a second in command who’s guarding Whumpee bc they believe Whumpee is a horrible person who deserves to be locked up? And that Whumpee did horrible things that deserve the torture only to find out they’ve been hurting innocent people and they feel partially responsible

I love your writing! 🤍

Hello, Anon! I am so glad you enjoy what I put out there. I would be happy to write this for you!

Warnings: captivity, restraints, torture, physical violence, bruises, broken bones, deception, unconsciousness, rescue

Caretaker walked into the prisoner's cell. It had been much the same day in and day out. Whumper had ordered them to guard the prisoner after the lengthy interrogations. Day after day, Caretaker took up their silent vigil, unwilling to let the prisoner out of their sight.

The prisoner was dangerous. Or so Caretaker had been told. The prisoner--Whumpee, or so Caretaker had heard them say once--had been responsible for terrible destruction and pain. They had done great evil on the world, and Whumper was punishing them for their crimes. And the list grew each day as Whumper interrogated the prisoner.

Caretaker knew that Whumper was just, was fair, and was doing the right thing. Caretaker had known that for years. Had supported Whumper's quest to rid the world of evil. They gladly guarded the prison cells, knowing that their work enabled Whumper to rest and recharge after a long day of work.

This prisoner--Whumpee--was different from the others. They watched Caretaker each day, their face swollen and bruised. They watched and tried to talk to Caretaker, though their voice became muffled as Whumper broke and rebroke their nose several times.

It had started simply enough. "My name is Whumpee, what's yours?" Caretaker hadn't replied. "That's ok, you don't have to talk to me. Do you know why Whumper brought me here?"

Whumpee's questions had continued for days, but Caretaker never replied. Whumpee began to tell Caretaker more about themself. Each day they shared more and more. Each day they professed their undying innocence. And each day it took everything in Caretaker to not strike the liar down. To not hook Whumpee's wrist shackles to the chain hanging from the ceiling and bat them. Because they could not tolerate the lying, the slanderous words against Whumper.

"Hey.....Caret'er," Whumpee said weakly. Whumpee had learned their name days ago--Whumpee had overheard a conversation between Whumper and them--and hadn't stopped using it.

Caretaker did not reply.

Whumpee coughed, their eyelids drooping. "'m tir'd, Care'er." They blinked hard several times. "I miss home. N-N-Notttt th-th-that there's any'ng l-l-leftttttt. Wh-Wh-Wh-Whumperrrrr de-de-de-destroyed 't'llllllll."

Caretaker finally snapped. "Whumper did no such thing. You destroyed your town. You killed innocents. That is the reason why you are here. Stop your lies. And never speak ill of Whumper again."

Whumpee gave a wheezing laugh. "Notttttt ly'g.......S'ry." Their eyelids drooped closed as they passed out at last.

Caretaker glared at Whumpee's silent form. They couldn't stand the liar. Caretaker looked up as Whumper opened the door. "Welcome back, Whumper."

"They say anything tonight?" Whumper leaned on the door jamb. They always checked in before heading out for the evening.

"Just that you destroyed their town. Lying sack of shit," Caretaker spat at Whumpee.

Whumpre chuckled. "I mean I did. It was the only way I could catch them. Well, I'll be back before morning. Keep me posted." And Whumper left before Caretaker could say anything further.

Whumper. Whumper had destroyed a town. Had killed innocents. Whumper had lied to them. "Hey, hey, you!" Caretaker shouted at the unconscious prisoner. "Open your eyes. I need to talk to you. Hey! Whumpee!"

But Whumpee didn't open their eyes. Didn't respond to Caretaker's terse words. They continued to wheeze as they lay there. Caretaker's mind raced. Whumper had lied to them. Had lied about everything. "I'm getting you out of here," they said more softly as they opened the cell door. "And when you wake, we are going to have a long conversation."

Caretaker lifted Whumpee into their arms, surprised at how small Whumpee actually was. There was no way Whumpee did everything Whumper claimed they did. No way in hell. Whumper had lied. And as Caretaker fled from the compound, Whumpee tucked carefully in their arms, Caretaker feared what other lies, what other pain, they had been complicit in all because they believed every word Whumper said.

#serickswrites #whump #whumpblr #whump writing #whump community #tw captivity #tw restraints #tw torture #tw physical violence #tw bruises #tw broken bones #tw deception #tw unconsciousness #rescue #requests #queue

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tinseltina · 5 months ago

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You can feel free to ignore this until you feel like rambling, or forever, but do you have any strong opinions or headcanons or anything about Pixie Hollow you feel like ranting about? I adored that series when I was younger and I'd loved to be dragged back into it.

I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

FIRST OFF LETS START WITH THE MOVIE SERIES VS THE BOOKS

right off the bat, all the pixie hollow books take place AFTER the peter pan movie, they don't say when exactly but book 3 (quest for neverland) is like 3 generations (maybe 4?) after Wendy and her brothers go to neverland. And he character spotlight books never really mention quest for neverland (iirc there's ONE reference to vidia and the dragon kyto from that book but no one talks about human girl gwendolyn), but they do take place after it

the first 3 chapter books all occur within like a month or 2 of time and everything else at varying points of time.

i'm still compiling all the evidence to put out a VERY rough timeline (some books are clear about their relation to other adventures/books). however i'm in no rush to do any of that, so don't hold your breath.

Now there IS a HUGE detail in the lore regarding pixie hollow and the fairy dust.

There used to be a different "home tree" (called the Pixie Dust tree) WAAAAY long ago. There was another whole population of fairies there. and THAT tree, produced pixie dust (the stuff that makes them fly and helps their magic etc etc). it was DESTROYED and MOST of those fairies died back then (it was this cataclysmic event in neverland that basically decimated a ton of it, but everything eventually regrew). From that tree grew the new Home Tree where everyone is now.

Another character, Mother Dove (the bird you may or may not have heard of when ppl talk about these books) was basically reborn during this fire when she got hit with the fire. (magical fire, didn't kill this bird. it's implied that neverland's magic basically imbued this bird with her own magic because before then she was just a regular bird). her feathers are magic and when she molts, the fairies take her feathers and grind them down into dust, this is called FAIRY dust. Now a couple of the books have typos and use the term "pixie" dust, but it's not what the lore currently states. pixie dust is B.C. (before calamity) and fairy dust is A.C. (after calamity)

After this calamity and turning magic, mother dove laid an egg and that egg will never hatch, it's a magic egg that she must always incubate bc the egg is what keeps everything in neverland young and/or living forever.

OK NOW THAT THAT'S OUTTA THE WAY LET'S MOVE ON

the tinkerbell movie? that universe has no mother dove and the tree is the one from legend because the pixie dust (yes PIXIE dust) flows from it. there's a dust depot where the dust is portioned out for fairies each day but no dust mill (where the grinding of the feathers into dust would happen)

Now at one point i thought "maybe the movies could potentially just be telling what happened before the books" It's got a mostly new cast, why not?

because TINKER BELL IS THERE. Vidia, and terence are also there. and these 3 are major players in the books that couldn't have survived that calamity. (queen clarion POTENTIALLY). fawn and iridessa and silvermist and rosetta all show up in books later (at one point the books were coming out at the same time as the movies rosetta is the one character to receive a major design change from her book counterpart, so i could even accept her being a different garden fairy with the same name and similar personality)

ok now RAPID FIRE FACTS

dust alchemy? not a thing in the books. but dust is also WAY more interesting and required for so much of the fairies magic in the book (yeah, you can use it for EVERYTHING. ex. garden fairies are like folks with a green thumb, they GET their plants and tend to be good at growing things, but sprinkling dust can help with speed and size of growth or stuff like hybridization. kitchen/cooking/baking talents they dont use fire, they use DUST to heat things and boil water stuff like that. i still gotta check if that's not retconned in places but it makes sense considering how small they are and how quickly fire can spread)

the blue dust from lost treasure? also not a thing, but interesting given the tree situation, and it's interesting to think nothing is actually a neverending resource, but also it doesn't really make sense? cuz like WHAT'S THE POINT OF A TREE THAT MAKES DUST IF IT CAN'T DO IT FOREVER? i can see the argument for either side. but i'm leaning on "blue dust is like fertilizer for a magic tree"

vidia is actually a HUUUUUGE b-tch in the books. like the kinda a-hole that is kinda irredeemable and luckily the books never try to redeem her either. she's not quite "evil" but she is the kinda person who is terrible and refuses to change. but she basically committed a "cardinal sin" by plucking some of mother doves feathers from her to get fresh feathers to make her own pixie dust. (it's revealed that the dust from freshly plucked and not older MOLTED feathers, contain more potent magic) and vidia is obsessed with being the fastest flier in pixie hollow so she wanted special dust. this was a painful process for mother dove and it was done in secret but after she was found out it basically got her banished from seeing mother dove up close ever again (it's like being banished from seeing your mother and the pope all rolled into one. idk it's hard for me to explain motherdove without going "yeah she's kinda vaguely omniscient/telepathic. like she's not God, but she's got some pretty godly powers in relation to the fairies and the rest of neverland ngl, hence the pope analogy) and kicked outta the home tree apartments (paraphrasing for humor). she's not kicked outta fairy society or nothing, they would never go that far, these books are HEAVY with collectivist themes. but vidia lives separate from the other fairies in her own tree (and she actually prefers it. iirc it's implied she could come back to the home tree if she wanted, but she AND the rest of the fairy population prefer the space).

actually all the fairies kinda jerks, but i think that falls in line with the idea of tricky faeries in mythology and i don't dislike it. it makes the vidia thing sting less as well?

prilla (sweet wonderful, she's not actually my favorite but we love her regardless) is the odd one out amongst fairies because she's kinda part human? so fairies are born from a baby's first laugh, right? (if you didn't know now you know. this is the same in both books and movies) well the laugh prilla came from had a little too much of her human's personality, so this effected her memory and her ability to conform in their fairy society (she regularly would mix up british human lingo with the fairy stuff and it bugs the fairies. remember how i said they were all dicks? yeah they don't like humans, prilla is a little too human at first and it bugs them). but it also gave her everything she needed for her talent (she's the one and only "mainland blinking fairy clapping" talent. if you've ever read the og peter pan book or heard of the stage play when tinker bell is about to die and they're like "clap if you believe in fairies!". yeah prilla's talent is to astral project her image to the human land and get them to clap periodically to keep fairies going strong.

sidenote fairies apparently REGULARLY died before prilla came along. and it's sad and the fairies get but also it's very "oh that sucks :/ but we gotta keep it pushin!". now in the movies the fairies are still at risk from like birds of pray or bodily harm, but the dying of disbelief is a non-issue.

it's not that there's NO romance in the books, it's that there's next to none. it's terence and his crush on tinker bell and tinker bell with her unrequited crush on and later heartbreak surrounding peter pan. tink is fully aware of terence's feelings for her, and the feeling isn't really mutual? she's mostly afraid of heartbreak but still she'd rather just stay friends with him.

OH! early book terence is like a legit incel. he used to have a different design too, and like he really looked like something outta the virgin vs chad meme (in fact i DID make a meme about it)

mothertrucker actually used magic to make tinker bell fall in love with him (it doesn't lead anywhere beyond just her being obsessed with and wanting to be next to him all the time. get your mind outta the gutter these books are for kids). and he is RELUCTANT to try to turn her back to normal. oh and she's completely aware after the fact of how she acted and felt and that it was terence's fault. she just like forgives him and moves on without really addressing it.

movie terence sometimes goes a little far for tinker bell but it never feels like he's doing more than any of her main friend group, you know? but in the books terence isn't really a FRIEND like the other characters are, he feels separate from the rest of them.

fairy society? kinda communistic. everyone works for the good of the collective to keep things running smoothly

all talents are important and useful (yes, even art talents and music talents and all sorts of stuff. decor, decoration, beautification of surroundings, and entertainment are all appreciated) i assume this is one of the reasons why the "unable to engage in your talent" type of "incomplete" is so serious and pitied. if you cannot help the collective, then what are you to the collective? (this is not to say however that rest days are not employed and encouraged, they absolutely are! leisure and rest and recuperation are necessary and highly encouraged. it's much harder to get a fairy to STOP doing something involving their talents, BECAUSE it brings them so much joy and self-fulfillment). but to permanently be unable to work for the benefit of the community?

but i digress! my point is EVERYONE is useful. there are even fairies who's talents are "tall tale telling". liars, they're good at lying. but this falls under the category of "storytelling" and fairies love stories. i said entertainment is appreciated!

everyone eats at the same time and meals are provided

their homes are made up and customized for them when they first arrive (read: are born)

everyone can engage in hobbies as well (rosetta in the movies and the books is a fan of fashion and dressing up and doing self care) at any time and basically just have to ask for help or for materials if they want. there may be trading involved in case what you want is something that gets in the way of someone else's work or their own collection. but for the most part fairies are fine sharing whatever excess. (an example shown in "art lessons by bess" the art talents also help make paint and refill storage. they're free to use whatever they want and that includes other fairies as well, but they help make more for whoever needs it)

a talent isn't just the 1 activity a fairy does everyday forever, it can also include a whole host of other duties and activities to help out. some fairies even help in other areas when their specific talent isn't in demand (ex. party planning talents, or celebration set-up talents help to set up the tea room between meals when a party isn't being prepared. garden talents don't just grow flowers they can also grow different kinds of foods, or help with plant knowledge or assist nursing talents acquire herbs for different remedies)

queen clarion has a talent, she is a "queen talent" fairy. she presumably took over after the last queen (it is stated Vidia and the Fairy Crown that there have been multiple queens in the past and the crown with the crown jewels have been passed down to each queen since before the time of pixie hollow and it survived the great calamity). very bee like to have been born primed to be a queen. i think it's also implied that fairies don't grow like humans do, and it's likely that clarion was born in the form she is now and has always been that "age"

(if you apply that logic to the movies, then fairy mary and fairy gary and milori and the scribe from the winter region were also all that old the whole time)

winter fairies dont exist books. their jobs are basically just subsets of the other talents. and i think pixie hollow doesn't snow. i gotta double check on that and finish reading my books.

HEADCANON TIME (admittedly there aren't a lot of these)

i got a comment about this once on tiktok which led to me having to explain a little more about talents in general and how fairy identity works. but someone pointed out that prilla is very autistic-coded. and i was like "they're ALL autistic coded" no seriously bc of talents and how...preoccupied everyone can be with their talents, it gives off a "special interest" kinda vibe. and depending on the fairy they're showcase more symptoms people common have on the spectrum.

i mentioned earlier that prilla has her whole "a little too human" effecting her focus and memories? yeah she talks differently, she has habits that are considered good mannered in humans but really strange to fairies. she regularly astral projects by "blinking to the mainland", and the way it's written it gives off maladaptive daydreaming (disclaimer, maladaptive daydreaming is NOT a symptom of autism spectrum disorder, but i've noticed many folks under the neurodivergent umbrella also have this) as it butts into the current narrative and when prilla "wakes up" she can be unaware of what has happened around her or what kinds of conversations took place (not all the time. in some cases muscle memory for menial labor takes over and she can keep up just fine as long as someone doesn't interrupt the routine. not unlike real life for some folks). the blinking thing also could be read as a form of stimming/bodily regulation. talents for fairies, and engaging in activities involving their talents brings them joy, comfort and self-fulfillment. also she cartwheels a lot, which is also very stim-like.

iris, a garden talent, is also very "common depiction of autism"-like to me, however it's in a kinda negative light. she infodumps about plants, doesn't seem to get the social cue that people want her to be quiet or leave, and is generally seen as a nuisance to others around her. she's also got the quirk that she's not very good at growing plants, which is odd. she's said to have had her own garden at once point and then lost it (i think the implication being she left it unattended for too long and the plot of land was given to someone else, and everyone has since forgotten she ever tended to that plot, but she didn't fight for it either). because of this odd history and quirk of hers some fairies believe her to be "incomplete" (a term that has a few meanings that are all VERY disability/birth defect/developmentally challenged coded. including but not limited to, something wrong with one's wings like them being shaped in a way that makes it difficult or even impossible to fly, missing limbs or extremities, lacking a talent, losing the ability to engage in one's talent and fulfill their role in fairy society, for example a scout that cannot see cannot help protect the home tree and fairies from birds of prey). not everyone believes this, and very few if any would actually say it to her face, this is a very serious claim and kinda taboo to say out loud. I'm making her sound incredibly sympathetic, aren't i? and i want to agree that she is but also she is kinda catty in the books (fairies are dicks. i keep tellin ya. VERY endearing but kinda frustrating all the same)

EVERYTHING about rani after she cut off her wings on a mission to save mother dove. VERY physically disabled coded. she lost limbs (specifically 2 limbs that are also integral to fairy identity. fairies love their talents and they love to fly) and the others pity her and say things like how they "could never do such a thing". rani doesn't regret the decision, however, she got to experience swimming, something she always wanted to do and something fairies cannot do. (they sink because their wings absorb water and drag them down. and yes they can drown and die; even in the rain) and i LOVE that she's proud of both her decision and she enjoys being flightless for the most part, after watching a lot of crutchesandspice (imani) on tiktok and her talks of disability justice and giving more info from a disability perspective, many disabled folks don't hate nor wish they weren't disabled (what they want is for society to accept and better/actually accommodate disabled people) so i LOVE that for rani. and i love the perspective of someone living their best life.

rani also has 2 other quirks, one is because of plot reasons from the 2nd book (quest for the wand) and the other is just a quirk she's always had. 1. rani can finish people's sentences, she's got this sixth sense for what people are going to say and yes it does sometimes bother them to be interrupted. her friends just get used to it and basically ignore it and keep conversations going. 2. she was at one point turned into a bat (vengeful mermaid magic. also MERMAIDS ARE GIANT DICKS. welcome to neverland everyone is an azzhat) and her brain basically fused with the bat's brain because not only did she turn into a bat, that bat ALSO had it's own consciousness? i can't explain that without rereading the book (or you can read it yourself. it's Fairy Haven and the Quest for the Wand) but apparently when she turned back into a fairy the bat conscious, still lingered in her mind? i literally don't even know what to make of that. i'm not calling it Disassociative Identity Disorder (if you are someone with DID and it resonates with you, more power to you. me with my bachelor's in psychology and VERY basic understanding of the disorder am not comfortable really calling it that mostly because it doesn't really seem like it fits the criteria for that sort of "diagnosis")

terence! terence and all the other dust talent fairies have a special specific teacup to measure dust EXACTLY. autistics and our special utensils, am i right? iykyk xD no but really it's a big deal they all carry those cups around and if they break it's a big deal.

many other talents that also have specific tools to do their jobs (tinkers/pots-and-pans with their hammers or screwdrivers or whatever, sweepers with their brooms, to name a couple) also have their favorites that are painstakingly crafted/selected. and using any other would feel unnatural or inefficient or just plain wrong.

ok that's a lot and everything i could think of off the top of my head and it's like 2am and i wanna sleep. so i'll have to continue this some other day if/when i think of more.

#tinker bell #tinkerbell #pixie hollow #disney fairies #fairy #tina blabs #prilla #vidia #queen clarion #no read more or under the cut we die like men

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crows-of-buckets · 26 days ago

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Minor dav gripe but like

I really do wish there were a handful more things added in the worldstate menu. As of right now the two things I personally would add would be "does the hof live" and "did the Inquisitor drink from the well of sorrows"

The first one is so odd bc like. Davrin talks about being willing to die to the arch demon and how it's his duty and is inevitable and it felt. Very odd. That I couldn't say "but what about the hero of fereldan?" Like the dialogue could have even taken the same route as the regular conversation with davrin going "yeah but the hof isnt here and no one else knows how they did it". It feels. Odd. Because it is definitely something well known, even outside fereldan. Even more so if your rook is also a warden. Idk that really bugged me

The second one is literally just a minor minor annoyance but Emmrich has a dialogue about morrigan "possibly having turned into a dragon" and like. Again. It's a minor dialogue but if you're not gonna include the option for the well of sorrows why include the dialogue at all.

The lack of world state choices isn't really noticable in a lot of things, but I do feel it's stood out most with the wardens because of how influential the hero of fereldan is. Like c'mon there was a blight only 20 years ago and the guy who stopped it could possibly still be alive, why didn't they even cross our minds to look for? Also that guy stopped a blight in a YEAR with like six people why wouldn't we go talk to them?? Like yeah the south has got its own thing going on but cmon Morrigan definitely knows where they are

I have another thing (unrelated to worldstate choices) that I want to complain about, but its much more spoilery than above so its going under a cut

Spoilers for the end of the solas memory quest that I can't remember the name of (the one where you collect the wolf statues and experience solas's past)

Honestly, I liked most of the quest. The memories themselves were interesting and I do like the setup of how they played out. The fights were (mostly) fun (I did the level 25 one under leveled and had to restart like four times but it's fine I'm just a stubborn ass)

What I do NOT like is Flemeth's abuse being written down. This is another place where the lack of choice felt odd bc whether or not Morrigan has Kieran would change a lot I think. Bc Morrigan flat out says that she would never treat her child the way she was treated. And idk it felt like Flemeth got a "get out of abuser jail free" card bc she's mythal.

I dont even mind Morrigan taking in Mythal's memories tbh. It's a very in character thing for her to do.

Idk like. On one hand yeah Morrigan would probably have mixed feelings about her mother dying even if she was her abuser it just. Didn't feel like those emotions were mixed. Idk it just kinda annoyed me. I had a feeling Flemeth wasnt going to be portrayed as harshly and I hate to be right sigh

Other than that I did like this quest. I enjoyed talking to a different side of mythal and gaining her favor lmao. If I had a nickel for every dragon age protagonist that had an odd connection to mythal...

The flashbacks made me much more interested in the Titans, and I'm excited to see where Hardings story goes.

Ultimately, so far nothing that annoys me is anything that will make me hate the game. I have things I dislike about every dragon age game, its just a thing that happens lmao.

#dragon age #dav spoilers #crow rambles

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honshew · 1 year ago

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thoughts on bg3

overall, i had a lot of fun and would recommend to anyone interested! very ambitious game, and i'm amazed it exists tbh. there are so many really, really great aspects of it. however, i'm also glad to be done with it, bc i started to have less and less fun with it at the last part. which is an unfortunate place to have the worst part of the game. i really wish it wrapped up in a more satisfying way, because i became really attached to the characters and the incredibly detailed world. a shame it had to be rushed toward the end of development. it's incredible, though could have been more still.

i'm spending some time trying to figure out what i liked about the game, so this may or may not be updated as thoughts come to me. there will be spoilers all the way thru the end of the game so here's your spoiler warning

i think while people unfamiliar with dnd can play and still have a good time, it probably will feel overwhelming and there will likely be things you won't understand unless someone explains it to you. i can't even really call the tutorial a bad one as much as it's barely there. but i do know plenty of people with zero dnd experience still having fun and simply enjoying learning on the go!

on the other hand, being someone who plays dnd, once you figure out the interface it's a pretty smooth experience. there are some things that are a little different to accommodate how the game works (e.g. second-story work reduces your fall dmg rather than increasing your climbing speed, since the game doesn't really count climbing as distance), but those are pretty quick to learn. seems to me that the devs thought people who didn't play dnd wouldn't be all that intersted in bg3, but a ci'd be curious to see how many bg3 players will look for a dnd group to join from here.

act 1 was solid and was paced well. i really liked how many characters ended up showing up later in the game, as opposed to characters you save once and never see again. i think what was most fun was getting to know what i could get away with LOL not just an exploration of the world, but an exploration of the game itself. i have video of me talking to auntie ethel while my friends set up and set off a circle of flame barrels, so i got a front row seat of her being blown to smithereens.

act 2, also solid. i really enjoy quests that involve impacting a place in a really tangible way, like in okami, so the shadow-cursed lands were pretty cool. unfortunately, the game doesn't really show you this happening except a liiiiittle bit at the end, so it doesn't feel as good as it could. still, i liked exploring the area a lot. all of the mini-bosses of the area were unsettling, but we got past literally all of them via high charisma rolls. actually aside from the exploring, a lot of the fun was seeing how we could cheese boss fights, which carried into act 3

act 3 felt way more all over the place and buggy, which significantly lowered my enjoyment. ofc a game this massive will have issues, but i'm still sad that the last part of the game where everything crescendos is where i enjoyed the game the least. small things not working the way they're supposed to (e.g. certain npcs not running or climbing up a ladder when they are fleeing I'M TALKING TO YOU ZUMBO PUMBO AND FEATHERWEIGHT FALSON, astarion falling sleep to a spell even tho he's an elf during his end-of-quest fight). what sucks about things being so frustrating too was that the main quests had really great setups or concepts, but the execution was messy. still, we had a lot of fun messing with bosses. cazador couldn't do anything bc he was forced to dance while we killed him, orin was disintegrated, gortash turned to stone. kinda wild having a bard with 100% spell hit rate....!

i do wish we got to explore baldur's gate more. i totally get that would be a huge undertaking tho. i had a thought that maybe act 3 should've been its own game, but then i guess you couldn't call it baldur's gate 3 if you never get to baldur's gate. i didn't play the previous bg games, but i liked how they wove in the story from the previous installments and ttrpg modules without leaving newcomers to the series out of the loop too much.

i liked shadowheart's, astarion's, and wyll's quests a lot. the ansur part of wyll's was really cool. i adore trials to test character as a setup, especially ones administrated by some major figure. but also? fuck balduran for what he did to ansur and later to me. he's the city's hero, but he only really looks out for himself. which is cool for me as a viewer, not cool for the character i play as LOL

i have more thoughts but i will type them up here later maybe this has gotten long enoguh

#honshew text #not tagging with bg3 so as to avoid strangers coming into my house to yell at me as if they are defending their honor

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spider-xan · 1 year ago

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I personally like when Curt is one of Peter's profs in college, which I was kinda expecting in the Insomniac game. It was mentioned in the first game that Peter was a teacher assistant at the ESU and I thought it was for Curt's classes. I think it would've added more emotional weight in Peter's quest to cure Curt in the second game, and would make players more invested if they've had some history together besides the Lizard thing. They didn't need to be super close, but Curt could've been someone that Peter respected and was familiar with.

Oh well.

Same, anon!

I'm very happy overall with what we did get in the Insomniac sequel game with Curt and he's definitely one of my favourite versions, but I was also disappointed when his intro scene at the EMF seemed to confirm that he and Peter don't have a relationship between their civilian identities, regardless of whether Curt knows he's Spider-Man or not; like you, I also thought that given Peter having been a TA, the official blurb for the Lizard on the PlayStation site saying they had first met in college (which could be interpreted in a few different ways), and how Peter obviously really cares about him in the gameplay preview that we were going to get them being close outside of Spider-Man things and that Curt was one of his ESU professors, but I guess not; it's also weird bc there was a post-release interview where they talked about how what makes the Spider-Man villains great is their personal relationships with Peter, and they specifically cited how Connors has that element of oh, he's not just a monster to beat up, but also Peter's professor whom he really likes and doesn't want to hurt, though I guess they were speaking more generally there.

At the very least, I think it would have been helpful to have a character bio provide more background information bc we really don't know much about their history and relationship, and every cut scene they had was focused on advancing the plot rather than developing their relationship - which is fine, but I do think it's part of a broader issue with the game feeling rushed and underdeveloped at times, especially in the third act, and I would have loved if they had some more personal scenes together outside of the Lizard campaign.

Something else that felt a little muddled was how there were moments where I wasn't sure if Peter actually cared about Curt for Curt's sake bc Peter does see him as a friend (beyond Peter being a hero who helps everyone) or if he only cared about him as a means to an end to help Harry, if that makes sense? Like in the church scene when he says, 'I'm just here to save my friend', it makes the most direct sense for him to mean Curt, but then I was like, wait, does Peter even see him as a friend in this universe, and if not, does he mean he's just here for his actual friend Harry and the serum only matters in the sense of bringing Curt back to help him? Especially considering how after the failed zoo rescue, the trio doesn't seem too concerned about Curt being stuck as the Lizard until they realize they need him to help Harry, which is weird writing, now that I think about it.

Anyway, I wonder how much of the seeming lack of closeness may be due to the fact that they didn't want to repeat a mentor relationship like the one the first game had between Peter and Otto, with the irony being that the Peter and Otto relationship in the Insomniac games is just like the Peter and Curt one in the 616 comics and some adaptations, namely the 90s animated series; I think it's completely possible for Peter to have two mentors in different areas though, instead of only one or the other - but I also wonder how much was also bc they had him be an Oscorp scientist involved with the symbiote, possibly with a previous day job as a medical doctor until the Lizard thing, and couldn't have him be a professor as well; I'd love to know at what point they decided to have him tied to that plot bc the symbiote was obviously there all along, and it's common in adaptations for Connors to be the symbiote expert, but I can't tell if he was linked to it from the start or if they had other possible ideas for him until deciding on that one.

#asks #xan's spidey meta #insomniac spider man #curt connors #the lizard #peter parker

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noro-noro-noro · 2 years ago

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I've genuinely been too lazy to write my dreams down in as much detail as I usually do & it's becoming annoying for me. it's bc I sleep too much when I don't have work on days I don't go in. hey on the bright side my dad said he was leaving on vacation "at the end of the week" so I assumed he meant today Friday but he actually meant Saturday!

anyway\

I was in my 2nd grade classroom but at college age. there was some kind of project where we had to pick a Minecraft seed & go through, but going through the world was actually more like subnautica. the water was clear. there were other divers & less sealife, but there were some. I remembered the cuddle fish & also something similar to the Mesmer but it just looked like floating anime eyes instead, but the lashes were teeth.. anyway once we came back up our seed spawned us the middle of the ocean, but there was a village nearby! I suggested we relocate to the village (we came back into the classroom) but my group members didn't understand they didn't have to build a house at spawn. it would be difficult to do an underwater house anyway... I said I'd go in & show them what I meant, but then the neighboring teacher came over & it was my 7th grade math teacher & he was apparently teaching something about modules and tesselations by using some dark blue origami thing I'd left in his classroom 10+ years ago, but it was fallint apart so he needed me to fix it & I was like yeah sure okay & tried fixing it, but I had no idea what it was that I'd made. the pieces kept slippinf out after I'd slot them together. it was getting annoying.

2. I just finished up at some kind of event with people from high school. I remember a dude named Alton, but he was walking around like color inverted in ms paint. the area was the shopping center with the Arby's that's about 10 min away from home, but the parking lots and in fact the entire layput had changed. it was around evening. I got to my car (it was parked bext.to some lime green jeep & the dude was like wow love the color of your car) (but my car is like plain silver) & started to drive away but he wasn't paying attention & almost walked in front like a moron!

anyway the parking lot was different. I couldn't figure out how to leave. there was some gas station place that also served bbq meat at one exit, which was blocked off & there was a tunnel with stairs heading down where I assumed I wasn't supposed to drive into so I turned around and parked somehwerr else. I was like dang I ca t figure out how to leave so I might as well buy dinner here & went to look for a restaurant I was interested in. there was a man with a quest marker at this one place that had no walls but it did have fluouescence & I was trying to ask about rgeir menu, butbhe was complaining about his fiance or maybe wife. she didn't care for him bc he was too gloomy, but he was gloomy bc she was mean to him & seemed very flighty. I saw there was a locked option under the dialogue tree for "how do I get out of here" called "after the divorce" that was in green, which meant it was positive & would give me an item or advance things somehow like unlocking the door. I remembered in one of the girls speech bubble at the gas station diner, she was complaining about her husband, so I went back down there. it smelled good so I tried to order something while chatting with her, & she was like "you're chill & easy to talk to." but she wasn't getting on the topic of her husband & instead asking what I was ginna order, but the menu she handed me was a scrap of lined paper that just had random stuff written on It & I was like where's the food ....

#dreams

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erythristicbones · 2 years ago

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OC Time! :3c

What is the relationship between two characters like and who's someone that comes and shakes that up?

OR! Alternatively (since I just had one I cant talk about yet) what's a big character or story breakthrough you've had recently? :0

Okay, since I'm working on revisions of my book EOTA today, I've got that story on the brain and I'm absolutely gonna talk about Kirsen!!! Specifically the relationship between Kirsen and Imogen, which gets touched on over a couple different chapters, but ultimately just can't be explored in-depth during the book itself. Also......this is gonna get long, fair warning AKDHDKFJDK

So, to start it all off: At the start of EOTA, it's only been a handful of months since Kirsen and Imogen ended their 1-2yr relationship. I think in the original draft I put a hard number on it, something like 6 months since they broke up? But I think it'll read better if I leave the period more up to interruptation. Anyways, the point is that Kirsen is someone who grows very, very attached to people and things are left unresolved.

Because it says from the get-go, from the very moment their past relationship is mentioned, that Kirsen and Imogen didn't break up because they stopped loving one another. In fact, they still have very strong feelings for one another. It's just that they recognized that they simply couldn't provide what the other needed and deserved in a relationship.

Imogen's aging mother is essentially the person in charge of their town, Pointes. She runs everything and keeps the town safe and functional. While she could have chosen anyone to take her place, she raised Imogen with the idea that she was going to inherit the position. This is the culmination of her entire life so far and really, Imogen does very much want the position.

Kirsen is someone who...well, there's several parts of her personality that come together in an unfortunate way. She was raised with a hunter's disposition; she needs to be out, she needs to be moving, she needs a job, she needs a prey. And unfortunately, Kirsen has a lot of trauma that she has been desperately trying to avoid acknowledging her entire life. If she stays in one place too long, she can't have a constant distraction, she can't hide her bad days from the people there, and she risks people trying to force her to acknowledge it.

Imogen needs a partner who will be there by her side, who will be the support she needs while she takes on a very taxing, pivotal role. Kirsen needs a partner who will be willing to travel with her, who will recognize her need to run and be there to pick up the pieces when everything does catch up to them. And no matter how hard they try, they are both intimately aware that they cannot provide those things for one another.

Ultimately, I think they both recognize this and yet cling to the hope that something in their lives will change and, magically, all of their differences will disappear and they will be able to live together happily.

[Enter Lucida] :)

Kirsen is now having to work with Lucida to save the world. It provides a great distraction from her struggles with Imogen- except that Kirsen thinks Lucida is attractive and falling for the person you're going on a perilous quest with is not exactly the brightest move. So now she's juggling feelings for two different people and knowing fully well that neither situation is ideal for her currently.

And there are specific scenes where Kirsen is clearly leaning into her attraction to Lucida so she can forget about Imogen, only to then have specific scenes where she (for instance) makes out with Imogen bc "surely this will absolutely help me not fall for Lucida and have no emotional repercussions at all".

Its- at the end of the day I think the three of them have such interesting dynamics with one another (and that's not even touching on Imogen/Lucida being weirdly passive aggressive and jealous of one another bc they both ALSO like Kirsen)and I can only scratch the surface of it in the book itself, bc technically the romance plays second fiddle to the Saving The World Shit ya know? I could write essays on these three idiots, I love them

#tysm for the ask friend!!!!!#and for giving me the opportunity to talk about a ramble that i have rolled around in my head for ages now #and did not have much outlet for #os: entrails of the animals #oc: kirsen pinewynn #oc: lucida cyprius #oh shit wait imogen doesnt have a tag bc i never gave her a last name...fuck...lets go with #oc: imogen #for now and i'll add a new tag if/when she gets a full name #if i wasnt a coward i'd make lucida/kirsen/imogen canon #but ive got a lot of internalized shit wrt my being polyam that i gotta work thru #and also i cant fit it into book one #technically there arent really spots in the rest of the trilogy either but.........#i really am lowkey trying to figure out if i could make lucida/kirsen/imogen work feasibly w the story im trying to tell #long post

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lialuvsaven · 15 days ago

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Icymi but also a little rambling about stuff I added here ( let me have this, I've spent more time w a dictionary writing this than I have in my last two years of highschool) and also bc I thought more writing this than I did any essay in my academic life 😔😔😔😔

1. The parchment shaped wall clock was supposed to be based on. This curio. I was so entraces by its design I pictured how something similar would look like as a clock (and yes this is a curio but it's weird looking enough that you can find it in some empty cardboard boxes or in the trash)

2. The soup made with nettle leaves- is inspired from Cignidaki zumi— an actual Romani dish, soup made with stinging nettle leaves. I found a bunch of romani recipes but this one really caught my eye bc we have stinging nettle plant here I didn't know u can eat them until now.

3. The pink diamond bit is from the jade's timeline thing hsr posted a while ago ofc, I wanted to see a follow up on it and didn't get it so I made my own reality. I don't think finding out his birthday would take jade much effort bc A. The reports mention the avgin extinction being on their religious festival kakava and. His name is kakavasha. B. But other than that, checking his files (esp in the beginning) I like to think the system is advanced enough that it automatically concerts various dating systems and such (they're modern Enough to have the synesthesia beacon)

4. The corundum stone (god BLESS finding a stone similar to his eyes took YEARS OFF MY LIFE) it has other colors? Don't worry. Hsr has better gemstones. We can't even get the diamonds from Uranus.

5. I have.... negative feelings about jade, if you couldn't tell. I tried not to make her like a completely evil lady, but given how she did call him to "talk" post penacony main quest in canon (it had layers too) I like to think between his whole thing in penacony and later actions she thought he might need a reminder. And shed know to pick a good time.

6. virtually no way for the reader to know his personal info if he doesn't give them UNLESS she knows someone like Jade. Had they asked topaz, she'd tell them that he doesn't like it (bc the stonehearts' birthdays and such are an occasion for a party/dinner/ etc, upper class socializing stuff (that is important to the business and cause) but aventurine doesn't do THAT even tho he does throw those necessary parties anyway. So it's obvious that he. Doesn't like celebrating it at least if nothing else. Later scrapped that cuz.... that's a lot of thinking

7. I thought of adding the catcakes bc cats (pets) are a great source of comfort for So many people. And they're incredibly good at sensing human emotions. And (canonically) they're said to be as intelligent as a 6 year old so. The catcakes remind him of food when aventurine is lost in his thoughts (and it doesn't feel like it's pleasant), to distract him and direct him towards a task. They all gather around him when he starts drinking bc while they likely don't understand the concept of drinking well they DO know he's distressed, so keeping him company to help him. They'd be a little freaked out to see him emotional I imagine, bc that's not something they ever saw (hence the immediate nervous attempt at comforting by nuzzling into him) I looked up how real cats act to write this and now I want a kitty do bad 😞😔

I also like. Didn't keep them in focus at all bc like....he's not in the headspace to think about them much. But they keep showing up bc that IS his family, too .

8. Dismissing a comforting smell as a potion seems something he'd do. There's actually an all good potion ( consumable) in hsr and while THAT one didn't end up in the market there's def similar stuff already. I imagine something that makes hospital food feel comforting for the patients would be popular, hence that conclusion

9. Kakavasha's shoes . I actually thought they were different when I wrote this but later realized that they seem ....to be modified. Mended maybe? But yeah. Only a pair of shoes

10. His mother smells of creosote bush. This species is found in the deserts of southwestern North America, and is said to smell of the desert rain. For a child who was blessed by rain on his birth day I think his mother likely smelt of rain, too.

11. I wanted to add in a scene with Aventurine's secretary to show she really NEVER looks at his eyes because they're. Usually seen as freaky and odd by people. And paired with the discomfort itself, she'd naturally be more careful to not do that to not offend him (him being her boss and. Because he knows how everyone sees them.) not like that's what HE wants, but what she assumes. But I decided to scrap that lol

12. Also he only managed to cry that much bc he was inebriated lol I don't think he'll ever cry like that otherwise (plus his house is empty so he doesn't have to hide it(

And I wrote down about him still remembering the painful memories with his family (while he tries to forget the extinction event desperately) bc he needs to Preserve their memory and spent like 10 minutes thinking about it preservation.... preservation....

But anyway that's about it!!

Happy Birthday, Aventurine!!

“Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget his birthday, again.”

Pairing: Aventurine x reader

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort in the end to compensate for everything else ❤️ Reader is not physically present in the fic (they're not dead it's ok)

wc: 3.3k

Aventurine was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door just as the sun began to slant westward.

With a sigh, he puts down the pen and glances at the wall clock. The hands on the parchment-shaped monstrosity read 1 pm, but his eyes are drawn back to the purple tongue protruding from its massively extended mouth. Seriously, where does Stelle find these items? "An ugly, purple parchment shaped wall clock that looks like it's ready to eat people"— isn't something most people would think to give him, to say the least. But that's the thing—it was Stelle.

She claimed to have found it during one of her "excavations." And even though Miss March 7th did her best to keep her friend from going into further details, stepping on Stelle's toes right in front of him and giving her a sidelong glance, as if he wouldn't notice, he could tell what kind of "excavations" would turn up something like this. Not like he minds the origins of this gift, however. Gifts from friends are few and far to come by, especially ones who actually tolerate him. Not to mention, Stelle likely sincerely believes that it's a cool gift, which is why it has replaced the diamond-embedded wall clock on his wall.

His musings are interrupted by a second knock, which, like the first one, reverberates once around the room before fading away in embarrassment. "Come in." He announces, reclining back in his seat and looking at the door with expectation in his eyes. It was not uncommon for his secretary to appear randomly in his office, constantly fussing over yet another minor issue. He believed it was her; at least, his itinerary showed he didn't have any guest visits today. Maybe it was time to replace assistants—the new hire is clearly not on the same wavelength as him. But he'd only recently had Topaz yell at him for changing staff so frequently; he'd prefer not to tell her that her choice was horribly disappointing just yet.

With a tiny bag bearing a brand he is all too acquainted with, the secretary enters the office. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor the entire time, hence doesn't notice when her supervisor raises an eyebrow at the sight of his favorite jewelry brand. "Sir," she says in a low, somewhat flat voice, akin to that of a news reporter. "Earlier, a staff of Madam Jade stopped by. You have a present."

A grin appears on Aventurine's face, followed by a joyful chuckle. With how busy work has been lately, he'd almost forgotten when he asked Jade for a pink diamond, as has Jade apparently, seeing how long it's taken for her to send this. His request was a joke, of course, only meant to irritate Topaz. But he wasn't surprised either; Jade always takes good care of her weaponry. "Ahhh, no wonder!" He chirps and presses his palms together. "She must've finally found some generosity in her heart, hm?" He muses, and his assistant can only stand there stoically. He waves her off as she places the bag on his table and departs with an unnecessary low bow, never looking at his eyes once. As always.

When the secretary has left the room, he opens the bag, humming as he removes the box and gift card. Jade's handwriting is distinctive: prim and precise cursive that resembles a font.

"Happy birthday, Aventurine. This jewel would suit you far better than the pink diamond you asked for, don't you think?" — Jade

Kakavasha freezes. His birthday, she says, but she'd need to align the standard calendar system to the Sigonian one to find that out. She sent him a…..….a gift? For his birthday?

Is this a fucking joke?

The box reveals a chunk of corundum. Raw, uncut, pink and blue hues all over. Shades way too close to his eyes, and it doesn't take a gemologist to tell that Jade had done her searching thoroughly to obtain this. A jewel the color of his eyes, the color of Avgin eyes, neatly wrapped in a box for….to send ..what sort of message, exactly? Oh Avgin, never forget who you were before I found you—unpolished and undeserving. forget your name, but never your roots.

The note is crumpled and thrown in the trashcan, while the corundum and its box are hastily and carelessly pushed back into the bag. Really, so typical of Jade, he scoffs as he tosses the godforsaken bag into a random drawer, never to be seen again.

Kakavasha— no, Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.

Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget, again.

In any case, Aventurine concludes that it is not good for him to worry about this too much. Yes, he can just forget about the corundum. Yes, he is able to forget how it resembled Avgin eyes. Yes, he can also forget that Jade most likely sent this to "keep him in check" following the stunt he did in Penacony. But it was a mistake on his part to not see something coming. She had done this before, and it would not be the last time. He smiles at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, composed, shrewd, and calculated. Since a mirror has the freedom of choice, it does not return his smile.

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By the time the car comes to a stop in front of his house, Aventurine is exhausted. His chauffeur unlocks the door for him, and he makes his way to the elevator. Yet he's interrupted again— of course, because it's a cursed day, and Aventurine has to restrain himself from scowling at the gateman, who stands in front of him wearing an anxious expression. "Sir, your friend had visited earlier to drop off something."

He raises an eyebrow and is about to inquire when he notices the bag the man is carrying. Without saying anything further, he simply takes the bag. You are the only one who'd own a dumb clockie bag and the only one who'd ever drop things off at his place.

When he steps in, his three catcakes meow loudly to greet him, and feels somewhat grateful for it. Today was just too exhausting, after all. He understands what this is about, based on the fact that you always give him gifts in person. Why, of all days, would you consider dropping it off today? And with no advanced notice- completely unlike you. How annoying, did Jade really have to do this too? He's never disclosed his birthday to you, so you probably coerced her into telling you, and she was glad to oblige, given you are of value to her.

Aventurine doesn't realize he's been standing in the kitchen for a long time until Spade begins massaging its fluffy body on his legs. He is surrounded by his three catcakes, who are all staring up at him expectantly. The message is crystal clear: We Want Food. He moves swiftly to get their food bowls, chuckling to himself before setting your lunchbox on the counter, sort of as an afterthought. At least they'll be able to go to bed well fed tonight.

After serving them dinner, he leaves the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine, hoping to spend the remainder of the evening crashing on the couch. He can just leave everything else for tomorrow. The benefit of drinking is that it can temporarily impair your ability to sense emotions. He only needs a short term fix, after all. Come tomorrow, he'll take hangover pills, and walk out of this house as Aventurine of the stratagems again— undoubtedly.

He turns on a random B-grade movie, prepared to drink the night away. And he does precisely that—he pushes down thoughts of how his childhood friends, whose features now misty in his memories, would react if they were to see him. With another shot, he pushes down recollections of his mother's cooking—the special meals for the Kakava—and his birthday. Another to accept the now-blurry face of his sister in his memory as the only proof of her existence. Another to forget the clay dolls she'd made for him, on the last birthday kakavasha got to celebrate, that were broken when he had to run for his life. And one more shot, and another, till he's forgotten everything; till he's numb and emotionless.

Feeling empty and hollow is far worse than anything else, and being unable to cry isn't as pleasant as he thought it'd be. But in his lavish home, where gold abounds in every nook and cranny, he has little reason for tears. Money may not be able to buy him happiness, as he is well aware, but it certainly does spare him from ugly tears unfit for his visage. Maybe that's why he hasn't cried in a while, or perhaps he has simply lost his soul somewhere along the way. He stays on the couch till 3 am, accompanied by his pets. He pretends not to see the troubled looks they shoot at him, whispered words passed between them that are clearly about him. By the time he decides to rest for the night, he is fatigued, sluggish, and barely keeping it together.

When he gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, Ace makes a protesting noise before promptly shutting up. Catcakes are smart creatures, and they understand him better than most individuals in his life (or maybe the difference lies in care) His throat is dry, and ice cold water from the freezer provides enormous relief. However, the respite is taken away from him by the crackling lightning, loud as a whip, pulling out memories up to the forefront of his mind again. Of the lightning without the rain, of Sigonia-IV. The drumming of the thunder is largely hidden by the concrete walls, so it isn't as hard on the ear—but it aches a lot more than it did before. Aventurine sneers to himself, dismissing the idea as ludicrous. As if.

The second time the thunder sizzles, Aventurine has to take a sharp breath and grip the countertop to steady himself. It sounds like playing dead in the bleeding streams of Sigonia-IV, like the booming cackle of the mocking thunder. Had he been an insolent child, just a little more doubtful than he already was, he'd believe it was Mama Fenge herself laughing at her so called "blessed child". The thunder sounds similar, but it's not the same. No, because this is still Aventurine and he's still here and those are someone else's memories, forgotten and buried in sand.

Aventurine sighs.

Drinking too much has never done any good to him.

Just as he is ready to leave the kitchen, he notices the lunchbox sitting the counter out of the corner of his eye. Oh, right. He hadn't even touched it. A distraction doesn't seem bad now, though. If he wants to fabricate a plausible lie about eating the food, he would at least need to know what kind of food you sent. If the mental image of your frown after discovering he never even looked at what you sent is what gives him the final push , he would never admit it.

The lunchbox has a plains bear cub logo: you've always been a sucker for cute things. He sets aside the little note attached for later this time, preferring to taste the dinner first. It looks like you chose to make him some kind of soup. Insulated lunchboxes are a blessing— because it's surely been well over half a day since you made it, yet it's still warm. While the presentation is relatively simple, it smells strangely comforting— effect of some potion? He's heard of those, but they're usually used for sick patients, no? Other than that, this is the first homemade meal he's having in a….while. Not that it matters. Aventurine isn't picky, and while the leafy greens are unfamiliar to him, he believes he can handle at least a tablespoon.

Even the largest avalanche can be triggered by the smallest of things. Just one spoonful, and yet it's enough to make his world stop.

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The dry, broken soil scraped against his bare feet, producing little clouds of dust in its wake. His strides were light and rapid, nearly tripping over himself with excitement and giddiness. Just a little more, and he'll reach the finish line. Even the Sun's typical glare felt kind today; warm and tender against his tanned skin. Jumping over the homemade hurdles, he reaches the finish line far ahead of his friends. They protest and pout, and he taunts them with the biggest smile on his face. The soles of his feet feel slightly sore from running barefoot, but Kakavasha wouldn't risk destroying his only pair of shoes for a game.

When he hears his sister's voice calling for him, he rushes to embrace her and buries his face in her apron. His mother once told him that the Avgins all possess lovely voices, but Kakavasha believes his sister's is the best, especially when she laughs.

"And when will you listen to me and stop running around in the middle of the day, hm?" She pinches his nose and uses her apron to wipe the dirt off his face. Kakavasha beams at her with no regrets, proudly displaying the gap between his teeth. Once kakavasha had said his goodbyes to his friends, they walk hand in hand towards their tent.

There, his mother welcomes them with a warm embrace that smells like creosote bush and desert rain. “My darling," she coos, putting his small hands in her larger ones, rough from labour. "I remember you promised to be on time for lunch last time?" He grins cheekily, vowing not to do it again. (He's a repeat offender, but he knows that his mother and sister can't stay upset at him for long.)

His mother laughs, and tells him to tidy up before eating. Kakavasha's tummy is grumbling by the time he returns, and he finds the mats his sister laid down to sit on. The two siblings sit next to each other, chatting and giggling as they wait for their mother. She serves them a pot of hot soup with nettle leaves and lentils, just the way Kakavasha prefers it. He's overjoyed; quickly finishing his prayers before digging in. Kakavasha is a growing boy, and that's proved again when he finishes his bowl before his family.

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The soup she'd served him back then wasn't anything lavish; just a simple soup with local herbs and nettle leaves in a broth that smelt so uniquely of hers. His mama may have had a knack for cooking, but due to a lack of opportunities and resources, she never got to demonstrate her abilities. Compared to that, your food is much finer, and while excellent, it lacks the warmth of his mother's hands.

Nevertheless, he can't resist taking another spoonful and quickly putting it in his mouth because the familiarity is so, so palpable. He recalls that his sister wanted him to eat better, so she gave him half of her portion after he finished his. His mother then gave his sister half of her portion, as they are Both growing children. All of a sudden, the bickering, the laughs, and their voices are as plain as day in his mind. He can't fully recall the glitter in his sister's eyes or the dimple on his mother's cheek, but it's clearer than any other memory he had of them, that's for sure.

Aventurine can't stop crying, even if he wants to. Trying to halt the choking sobbing is fruitless, as is trying to figure out what's going on. He picks up the little message with shaking hands, hoping—praying—that it will help. You'll make it make sense. Somehow.

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“Dear Aventurine, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!”

Written in thin, flowing, rounded letters that are noticeably cleaner than your actual handwriting. You undoubtedly put a lot of effort into each letter you wrote. Aventurine was correct in assuming you found out his birthday through Jade, as you have written it here. "Buying a gift for you seems…a little perfunctory," you said, "so I've settled with cooking you something myself."

"And if the dish tastes familiar (which I hope it does) then yes, you've guessed it right— it's a traditional Avgin dish."

The perfumed ink is thicker here, a few ink blots from where you've likely paused to think, go over each sentence in your head before writing them down.

You mention finding the Avgin dishes by reading some kind of research paper on Sigonian culture and food, but Aventurine isn't sure he can believe that. You wrote, "I was fortunate enough," yet chance alone wouldn't get you something like that. Sure, maybe some doctoral candidate was crazy enough to choose a dead planet and its deader tribes to write about, but finding that paper would be too difficult. The biggest issue, however, is that Aventurine believes this dish should not and cannot exist. The stinging nettle leaves his mother used are no longer available, and while he didn't know much about cooking at the time, he was aware that all of the spices he knew were almost extinct. He's looked enough to know.

"I'll be honest, I had some trouble locating the ingredients for it and had to swap the majority of them because I couldn't find them. I really wanted to bring back a familiar feeling, even if it tastes very different from how you remember it. Plus, it's the thought that counts, right?"

In contrast to the light-hearted language, your writing is slightly wobbly and darker here, and Aventurine wonders if you realise your emotions seep through every single one of your actions, laid bare for the world to see.

Noting the disappearance of their owner, curious, the catcakes peep into the kitchen are immediately alarmed to see their owner sitting on the counter stool, sobbing and clutching a box. Spade, unsure of what to do, nuzzles it's head on Aventurine's leg, while the others meow in an attempt to calm him down. Aventurine hasn't sobbed in a long time—he can't remember how to anymore. His body shakes with each ragged and broken sob, sounding shattered and damaged, but he can't stop.

"I hope it brings you fond memories" is what you wrote down, but are you aware of the full impact of what you did for him? Most likely not. Aventurine cherishes all of his memories, including the unpleasant ones: as long as it involves his family. His misery knows no bounds, but he's only had a few years with his sister, and even fewer with his mother. So even the saddest memories are never forgotten, so he can preserve as much of them as possible. They live through his memories, after all.

Even when plain, his mother's meals provided him with more warmth than anything else back then. To feel that warmth decades later is a blessing he can't repay— but a blessing nonetheless. He doesn't have many memories like this one either, gentle and happy, contrary to the endless memories of struggling. He remembers their love so vividly right now, feels it so strongly, alongside yours— that he has no choice but to revel in it.

(Come tomorrow , when he's sober, puffy-eyed from crying and not as vulnerable, he'll have trouble figuring your reasoning. But for now, he'll be fine. Tonight, he'll go to sleep feeling loved. Tonight, his pets will cuddle him to sleep. Tonight, he'll dream of a Sigonia Only he knows.)

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A/N: I'm honestly still so embarrassed about this bc I have an idea but can't execute it like I want to and 🫠🫠 As always, comments and reblogs are really appreciated!! Thank you for reading <3

#my writing #aventurine #please i wanna write hcs so bad thwy qont take this much thinking why did i

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the-canine-king · 1 year ago

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Okay so funny story, I was listening to Uninstall again and it became an earworm before I finally decided to check out the media where this song came from (or at least the manga), Bokurano

After reading the first volume I literally couldn't put it down and committed to finish reading it. Here's my honest thoughts on it (not really a formal review). Also I'm gonna spoil it bc there's no way not to spoil it if I want to talk about the story lol

First off, I'm actually a complete sucker for dark psychological/ existential stuff that talk about morality and life and don't mind darker tones being addressed in stories. The manga does not shy away from the ugliness and tragedy of it all and it's the centerpiece to a lot of the character's stories. Characters having to choose which choice is the "right" moral choice is always so fun to read. Plus, all of them don't share the same moral compass which is always so fun to read different perspectives and arguments. Compared to the saturation of "being the good hero" in stories, I love when characters are cruel and selfish for their own personal gain. I don't like them as a person but as a writing device? A painful yet entertaining read.

Despite the story being pretty simple (due to it feeling "episodic" since it just develops one pilot at a time) and predictable (in some parts lol), I really enjoyed the story through and through and in my opinion it worked pretty effectively. I was going to try to pick out a favourite pilot, but I honestly think almost all of them had a solid, satisfying story despite the tragedy. … Almost all of them.

Kanji's probably felt the weakest one. Each character had a chapter or so to establish who they are and their story so far. For Kanji, it almost felt incredibly nonchalant? Despite being the third last battle, it didn't feel completely satisfying on how it ended his story. Sure, it might've been set up for Ushiro's battle (the question of "would you kill an ally to save 10 billion?" leading up to "would you destroy a world to save your own?" all very fun moral conflicts), but it almost felt like there was no build up or "resolution". He died shooting an ally which is such a rough thing to put a kid through, but at least the others had some sort of "conclusion" on their life stories. (Such as having the resolve to protect others or having the last chance to be with a parent that neglected them) I did like that tactical planning involved and it was an incredibly depressing read when they were at their wits end. Him dying on top of his mother's building was really touching in a way(??? idk how else to explain) but again it was disappointing that there was not much with him.

Chizu's story I'm incredibly annoyed with. I wish nothing but a thousand deaths for the teacher and those associated with him. I'm so… fucking pissed that he got away with it. Like how?? AND he still got hired WHILE he's STILL doing that?? AND Like there was nothing in the story that pointed towards any good reason to keep him alive (revenge is bad, he's a good guy in a way now, people change, etc.) like MAYBE if there was some sort of discussion on the justice system or how things like these are always going to continue to happen to other girls (like the new girl he started talking to). But it was so dog ass lame that I seriously just couldn't believe he went away with it. I was shocked when Kirie stabbed him, I thought he killed him and it was going to be about the cycle of revenge or it contributes to his apathy towards life itself. While I highly enjoyed Kirie's story, I honestly think he should've killed him lol. Also, it's so fucking annoying that there was a whole discussion about the moral conflicts of protecting those close to you even if it means killing a stranger and then… Chizu's family is so okay with what happened between her and her sister?? Like I guess they wanted to show how despite it all she still killed many in her quest of revenge but at the same time she's your family member that got pregnant and raped by a teacher how is that in any way a good message. Chizu's sister pissed me the fuck OFF. "Oh I don't talk to him anymore" HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SISTER…? PLUS, he was the major tip/ leak about the pilot's identities, if the government was so hellbent on making news outlets and tabloids keeping it a secret WHYYYY did they fucking release him??? I read someone's complaints about it on reddit and I completely agree w/ almost every point. Like idk about you but kids having innocent crushes on adults are completely normal, rapists and pedos are a terrifying reality that can happen to other people too. Doing nothing about said criminals either in a good or darker way? Absolutely unforgivable. Again, I would've been (to some extent) fine with it if there was SOME sort of discussion or critique about him getting away with it, but it's completely brushed off (worse that they tried to make Chizu JUST as bad as him).

And now with Machi… I'm incredibly conflicted on her story and twist. To be fair it was 3am and I was binge reading w/ a headache near the end so I probably missed a lot of details. But now that I'm awake and read some explanations about it I guess it works…? Again this is because I was completely confused during this time but now that I get it I think I have a new appreciation to the character. So at first it was gonna be rant but I concede since I'm actually just a dumbass lol.

Also I just want to say the art is seriously not as bad as people make it out to be lol. They make it sound like it's some amature work, but all of the characters have such a refreshing look to the style with their diversity of design. I mean it's not that extreme of a diversity but it's nice to see varied head and eye shapes in a manga since nowadays it's the same proportions.

EDIT: I forgot to say but idk how I felt about the kid's ages for the sake of the story. Like yeah it's children fighting a battle to determine which world gets to live and it's sad but at the same time it reads too mature for them? I suppose it's meant to be similar to a coming of age story and children being more philosophically open/ curious about life and death but lol. a fourth grader talking about the relationships and family blood in some mature way is kinda jarring

Overall, great story and great read. After clearing up my confusion I honestly think I might raise my score a little. 7.5/10 to maybe even an 8/10 (high maybe, i felt like it could've done a bit more but at the same time it was good enough?). Would highly recommend for those who like dark, depressing tales and a discussion on the importance of life and moral choices.

#king reviews #UNINSTALL.... UNINSTALL...#i only read about the changes in the anime and honestly i'm not interested #while i like both tragedies and hopeful endings #with a premise and story line like this it makes sense much more sense to have it end in a tragedy

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