#but dear lord i ain't changing it now

[gwendolynnderolo]

critical role ships as hozier songs

vax / keyleth : francesca

percy / vex : work song

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

fjord / jester : nobody

beau / yasha : as it was

caleb / essek : from eden

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

orym / dorian : like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

specific lyrics that i feel like represent the pairings under the cut!

vax / keyleth : francesca

how could you think, darling, i'd scare so easily?

my life was a storm, since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?

if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again

it was too soon, when that part of you was ripped away

i would not change it each time, heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i

percy / vex : work song

when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her

and i was burning up a fever, i didn't care much how long i lived

but i swear, i thought i dreamed her, she never asked me once about the wrong i did

if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

in the low lamplight, i was free, heaven and hell were words to me

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

she moved with shameless wonder, the perfect creature rarely seen

her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me

wondering who i copy, mustering some tender charm

breaking if i try conveying, the broken love i make to her

fjord / jester : nobody

i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint, i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave

but i've had no love like your love from nobody

if i had the choice between hearing either noise, the excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice

and on the other side, why should we deny the truth? we could have less to worry about, honey, i won't lie to you

beau / yasha : as it was

and in a few days i will be there, love, whatever here that's left of me is yours, just as it was

the lights were as bright as my baby, but your love was unmoved

tell me if, somehow, some of it remains, how long you would wait for me and how long i've been away

the shape that i'm in now, your shape in the doorway, make your good love known to me or just tell me about your day

and the nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too

caleb / essek : from eden

there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?

honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago

innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, i should know

there's something broken about this, but i might be hoping about this

a rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

give your heart and soul to charity, cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves?

if i was born as a blackthorn tree, i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies

ain't it the life of you, your lightning of the blaze?

orym / dorian : like real people do

i will not ask you where you came from, i will not ask and neither should you

i know that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago

honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

i knew well from our first hookup, the look of mischief in your eyes

your friends are a fate that befell me, hell is the talking type, i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

honey, i laugh when it sinks in, a pillar i am, upright

now that the evening is slowing, now that the end's in sight, honey, it's easier knowing what you'd do to me tonight

oh, let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised and that kind of love

[ymoon01]

It doesn't even matter at this point, or bother me anymore if someone tries to make me feel bad, feel like I'm crazy or even ashamed for believing in my Lord Jesus. I know him, and he knows me. He has proved to me A LOT of times that he's real. That he cares for me, that he loves me, he loves me even more than anyone has ever loved me before. He accepts me for who I truly am, and I'm thankful for that. All this time he has treated me like a princess, he has kept me away from evil several times. Now that i have faith in him, that i'm trying to change for someone better, i can actually hear him. He's so lovely, he's so gentle, caring, patient, and the way he talks to me is just...adorable. How can't I not fall for him when he's so gentle and patience with me? No one has ever made me feel like this before. No simple words like "Dear, my beloved one, my precious daughter, I'm so proud of you, you're beautiful in my eyes, i'm deeply in love with everything about you, you're so pure to me, I accept you for who you are, you're my child, I chose you, i'm always thinking of you, I've been calling you for a while now and i'm letting you that I was waiting for you to return home, talk to me I'll listen, I'm always here for you, i'm never going to leave your side, i care for you..." PLZ. Because of his sweet words, confirmations, I'm not settling for less. I'm not afraid anymore to say that I'm falling for him as well. I really pray to him to get me closer to him every second, minute, every hour. So please, just know that..whatever you say against me for adoring him and seeking him means nothing to me anymore. I'm not changing my thoughts, my mind, or anything. I'm not going to stop believing in him and his word. I ain't pleasing nobody but him. So, I suggest you to not waste your time with me. You can laugh all you want, he also told me that some people would laugh at me for following him, i have accepted this because i don't want to leave his side or presence ever again and..in the meantime i'll be praying for everyone who doubts of his existence and power. You can always go with him and repent♥︎ he has a place for everyone in his kingdom.

May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you all♥︎

[doukeshi-kun]

Cannibalism stalker! Nikolai has me on a choke hold.

My brain has been rotting for it like ajheikwg ueu

Imagine stalker!nikolai comes to his silly campervan to see you asleep on his bed, and he has the urge to tear into your skin, rip and preserve your flesh, maybe even take a chuck out of it and swallow it so a piece of you would be within him, with him for as long as he lives.

He gently encases your frame and digs his hands into a wound whilst giving you plenty of face smooches, gliding his tongue over your shoulders before leaving bite marks stained with blood all over.

If he could, silly guy might rip open your chest to kiss your heart tenderly before setting it back into your ribcage, maybe still holding it.

Merge bodily souls with your or smth.

I'm kicking my feet, punching the air, giggling to a phantom over this rn.

But he can't, cause silly guy Cannibalism stalker!nikolai doesn't want you dead but he has urges so he settles for biting you hard enough to draw blood (●’∇’)♪

And even better, he's doing all of this with his hand intertwined with yours at the end of it.

And then, being romantic fanatic, he is (he is not, I think). He's bites around the base of your pinky finger, placing a morally and physically questionable bind that applies to you even though you're silly asleep and didn't say yes, but you will when you're awake.

When his teeth leave the flesh, prominent markings can be seen etched onto it, serving his own delusions. However, it's, of course, not something drastic.

It's a simple 'you'll never leave me' because he's silly and insane like that (he'll kill you if you do).

Ajjdndnfjsknajfjdbfjfj meow.

Being the silly clown he is, he obviously doesn't clean up the split blood just yet.

He lets your blood drip and seeps into the pristine white sheets of his blanket before smiling like some maniacal happy face clown because you are now imprinted onto his belongings as well.

Due to sanitary purposes, he would of course change the sheets and clean you up before snuggling to you and drift off to lala land to dream about ripping your body to chunks, piecing you back together so that he can obviously soak into your blood and fully, in physical form merge with you.

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

I'm mentally deteriorating from this brain rot, oh my fucking god, pray to the lorddd 🎣

tw: gore, vore, cannibalism, nsfw

surprisingly anon, gore isn't that heavy of a topic in my blog lmao but hear ye—! our dear laotianye has come to the rescue, doing the lord work!

mmmm i really love our silly guy is being SO tender with the heart like omg that's the organ that beats for his name 🫀 and brrrrr i love the thought of him doing it while holding hands like HE WOULD TALK THROUGH IT HE WOULD TALK THROUGH ITTTT

i also like that he would bite and make a bite ring around your finger. like yes bae, embrace that primal ferality of yours 😍 he'd probably get hard as fuck when you do the same to him. on a second thought, imagine stalker!nikolai is fucking you dumb and purposely slip his fingers into your mouth in hopes for you biting him hehe

and i like that his dream is literally about devouring and murdering you like if that ain't love, idk what is 😌❤️ also, imagine after he dreams about all of that, he just scans your body, not for lust purpose but he's imagining dissection marks lmao i'm gonna stop

PRAY TO THE LORD

[lessnearthesun]

And if I asked you to assign four Taylor songs to each Classics department member 🫶🏻🫶🏻

I hope you all know how LONG I spent on this, and how much thought I put into my choices. So if you disagree I don’t care and I don’t want to hear it ✋ talk to the hand…..anyway enjoy <3

The Greek Class (Taylor’s Version):

Richard:

• I look in people’s windows

Standout lyric: So I look in people's windows/Like I'm some deranged weirdo/I attend Christmas parties from outside

• mirrorball

Standout lyric: I'm a mirrorball/I can change everything about me to fit in

• Florida!!! (except it’s about Hampden)

Standout lyric: I need to forget, so take me to Florida/I've got some regrets, I'll bury them in Florida/Tell me I'm despicable, say it's unforgivable/At least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up, Florida

• Wonderland

Standout lyric: Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?/I felt your arms twisting around me/It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind

Charles:

• Innocent

Standout lyric: I guess you really did it this time/Left yourself in your warpath/Lost your balance on a tightrope/Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

•This is me trying

Standout lyric: They told me all of my cages were mental/So I got wasted like all my potential/And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad/I have a lot of regrets about that

• Dear reader

Standout lyric: So I wander through these nights/I prefer hiding in plain sight/My fourth drink in my hand/These desperate prayers of a cursed man

• Don’t blame me

Standout lyric: Don't blame me, love made me crazy/If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right

Camilla:

• Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Standout lyric: If you'd never looked my way/I would've stayed on my knees/And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil/At nineteen/And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

• right where you left me

Standout lyric: 'Cause I'm right where/I cause no harm, mind my business/If our love died young, I can't bear witness

• seven

Standout lyric: Please picture me/In the weeds/Before I learned civility/I used to scream ferociously/Any time I wanted

• Carolina

Standout lyric: Oh, Carolina creeks/Running through my veins/Lost I was born, lonesome I came/Lonesome I'll always stay

Henry:

• Mastermind

Standout lyric: What if I told you I'm a mastermind?/And now you're mine/It was all by design/‘Cause I'm a mastermind

• Look What You Made Me Do

Standout lyric: I don't like your little games/Don't like your tilted stage/The role you made me play of the fool/No, I don't like you

• Everything Has Changed

Standout lyric: All I know is a simple name/And everything has changed

• Robin

Standout lyric: Strings tied to levers,/slowed down clocks tethered,/all this showmanship/To keep it, for you,/In sweetness/Way to go tiger

Francis:

• Anti-Hero

Standout lyric: It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me/At tea time, everybody agrees/I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror/It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

• The Archer (fun fact, this was originally on Richard’s, but I wanted to avoid repeats, so I switched it for Florida!!!. #soulmates)

Standout lyric: I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost/The room is on fire, invisible smoke/And all of my heroes die all alone/Help me hold onto you

• I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Standout lyric: They shake their heads saying, "God, help her"/When I tell them he's my man/But your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger/I can fix him, no, really I can

• You’re Losing Me (Booooo loser!!!! Kys!!!!)

Standout lyric: And I wouldn't marry me either/A pathological people pleaser/Who only wanted you to see her

+ Bonus one (1) ☝️ Bunny song because I felt bad for not including him:

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things:

• This is why we can't have nice things, honey (oh)/Did you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me?/This is why we can't have nice things

[pbam0ney]

"We can't change what's done, we can only move on. There ain't no shame in looking for a better world."

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I should definitely introduce myself! Hello there, fellow reader and/or person who's just passing by.

My name is PBAM0NEY. Preferably PBA for short. I'm just someone who's hella bored so I decided to make a Tumblr account (again)

___________________________________________________________

Now the rules are very simple!

1. No NSFW asks of any kind! I will reject those asks if you do. However, a little tiny bit of suggestive stuff can fly.

2. No racism, transphobia, anything related to these kinds of things.

3. Don't be harassing anyone for any reason whatsoever.

Now, last but not least!

4. Just have fun! Ask me whatever ya want! Just don't go too far, capiche?

___________________________________________________________

Onto the OC, we have the retired, sad yet hopeful god named "PB, The Retired God" I'm always gonna be talking and walking around like him. You can call him TRG, PB or Sean. Whichever one works for y'all!

[Yes, I will also run this acc as both the mod and the character!]

He who seeks redemption for everything he has lost wanders the world and other dimensions helping those who want to redeem themselves and move on from their past.

___________________________________________________________

Speaking and Speaking (Alt)

[Mod speaking]

(Actions)

___________________________________________________________

Sean's styles of fighting

Old Styles [1st ever moveset]

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Seans final moments...

Talking to his son. [Part 1]

Chaos lords letter [Part 2]

Talking to his brother. [Part 3]

Final moments with Arti. [Part 4]

Sean being respected... [Part 5]

Tug finding Sean's grave. [Part 6]

The radio. [Side-Story]

REVIVAL. [Part 7]

REUNITED [THE END]

The song Sean hears when he's finally deceased:

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Seans corrupted soul

Possessed [THE BEGINNING]

False Identity #1 [Part 1]

False Identity #2 [Part 2]

A body renewed [Part 3]

Reunited [Part 4]

Demolished Hatred [Great Ending]

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People Sean knows about and his status on them! [Real time updates]

The mortals!

@askthe-littlepoet - An amazing crow friend.

Status: Sorry for nearly killing you like 3 times now. We gotta do something together at some point, maybe some training for once!

@askdennycotl - Denny the Alpaca!

Status: You're alright las... You deserve way better things than what you got happening to you now. Your situation will be solved so hang in there, pal!

@yarnor-the-timid-raccoon - Little brother, Yarnor.

Status: I'm happy that you know I can come back, little brother. I will do everything in my power to stay alive and be beside you every step of the way...

@marko-the-yellow-cat - Leshys partner

Status: He's a cool guy. I appreciate his help. He's got a lot of power due to being in a relationship with Leshy.

@tug6056 - Tug, my son.

Status: My dear son... I will always believe in you regardless of my little appearances. Be very careful and be better than I can be.

@fluffpuffsofwar - Aster and Willow, my children.

Status: Cottons kids but they were given to me. I'll protect these 2 with my life just like I would protect Arti and Tug...

@bloodthirstyanon - Poets ex

Status: I'm gonna fucking kill you when I find you in that damn place. I called dibs on your life!

@dragon-in-the-old-faith - Ethan's girlfriend.

Status: I may not know her enough but I know she makes my brother happy... I appreciate what she does for him, I've come to respect those who truly love their partners. May their relationship last forever as I give them my blessing.

The crownbearers!

@askacultleader - The lamb....

Status: I genuinely wanna beat the shit out of this damned lamb but I cannot. I'm not willing to hurt them... Not yet.

@tomb-the-god - God of insanity. Tomb and his Brother...

Status on tomb: I don't expect you to forgive me for I could not, would not, forgive myself for what had happened...

Status on his brother: Am I really his brother? I don't know who I am at this point...

@kali-lamb - A person to me.

Status: You have no right to have that damned crown... You are not to be considered family either. May you seek redemption by yourself!

The gods...

@ask-theredcrown - God of Death.

Status: My lord. I worship the god of death despite being a god myself.... It's crazy but it happens I suppose.

@ask-thegreencrown - God of Chaos.

Status: A simple guy for a world full of chaos itself. I can't deny that he's chill and that he's pretty awesome!

@he-ofhavoc - Another God of Chaos.

Status: This Leshy has given me a card to call him while in a battle and I helped him train with the sword I've given him. I'd consider him as my best friend for sure...

@the-sleepydragon - Imora, She of sleep.

Status: I am happy that you see me as a son, mother... I am honored to be part of this family and I will do everything to fight for you all.

@ask-darkwood-hunter - My lover, Arti the darkwood hunter.

Status: I love my sweet little Arti... I'd do anything to protect them even if it meant sacrificing myself or any of my own powers to do so!

@spellcaster-dude - My best pal, Spellcaster!

Status: I can respect somebody like you man. We've done a lot together... Universal or not. Our bond is special and I'll protect you with all of my power.

Other entities!

@scannys-back - Ethan/Scanny, my brother.

Status: He's the best brother I could've asked for... I had to give him a ring engraved with his name on it and now a house!

Status on Tally: Guess I got myself a dad and a mother now! What a good combo, wonder if Narinder accepts me as their son now... This is an amazing family.

@flashbang-guy - The flashbang guy, Chaos lord and HIM.

Status: I'm alright with them existing here. I was annoyed at first but I guess I can get around them... However for HIM? I don't know what I'll do to them if I get my hands on him.

@the-justified-anon - Anon of Justice, Ens.

Status: Well, I got nothing to say except for hoping that I can be one of Justice one day and that you're cool as hell! Hope we can get to talk when you're not doing your job!

@kenis-goobers - Umbra, the man in the shadows.

Status: I met this guy once and I already think they're pretty nice. He wasn't hostile to me so I wasn't hostile to them. He could be a good friend.

@sally-the-turret - My daughter.

Status: I may not know you as much but I know you're young... You're safe here and I'll protect you from GLaDOS and the others. You are now a daughter of guidance...

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[The art of my OC was made by my nephew: @slimsurvivalmax. They're on Tumblr too so go support them!!! :3]

[werepuppy-steve]

gay pirate brianrot (our flag means death)

just straight up vibes, mate

the chain - fleetwood mac

sweet creature - harry styles

could have been me - the struts

here i go again - whitesnake

love is gone (acoustic) - SLANDER, dylan matthew

let me follow - son lux

achilles come down - gang of youths

till forever falls apart - ashe, FINNEAS

i found - amber run

achilles heel - j. maya

pierre - ryn weaver

partners in crime - set it off, ashe costello

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers

arms unfolding - dodie

sea of love - cat power

hello hello - elton john

ready now - dodie

love like you - caleb hayes

this will be (an everlasting love) - natalie cole

abcdefu (angrier) - GAYLE

would you go with me - josh turner

if i ain't got you - alicia keys

ship in a bottle - fin

underground - cody fry

one (mono single version) - harry nilsson

simply the best - billianne

miss missing you - fall out boy

burn butcher burn - joey batey

in case you don't live forever - ben platt

never love an anchor - the crane wives

inkpot gods - the amazing devil

ruin - the amazing devil

i guess i'm in love - clinton kane

chicken tendies - clinton kane

like real people do - hozier

seven - taylor swift

our prayer - the beach boys

hallucinogenics - matt maeson

crazy on you - heart

locomotive breath - jethro tull

high on a rocky ledge - moondog

messa da requiem: 2. dies irae - guiseppe verdi, berliner philharmoniker, carlo maria guilini, ernst senff chor

sonata in e major, k. 380 - domenico scarlatti, khatia buniatishvili

gnossienne no. 5: modéré - erik satie, olga scheps

concerto for recorder and viola dagamba in a minor, twv 52:a1: I.grave - georg philipp telemann, hille perl

II triello - ennio morricone

perfect day - lou reed

träumerei (kinderderszenen, op. 15) - robert schumann, ronny matthes

2 arabesques, l. 66: no. 1 in e major - claude debusy, peter frankl

rêverie, l. 68: rêverie - claude debussy, jean-yves thibaudet

avalanche - leonard cohen

miles from nowhere - yusuf / cat stevens

go to hell - clinton kane

back to december - taylor swift

mine - taylor swift

break my stride - matthew wilder

viva la vida - coldplay

blackbeard's ghost - jesse rice

back to black - amy winehouse

change (in the house of flies) - deftones

we'll never have sex - leith ross

make up your mind - florence + the machine

everybody loves me - onerepublic

the captain's daughter - alison krauss & union station

easy on me - adele

hoist up the thing - the longest johns

gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) - abba

right where you left me - taylor swift

super trouper - abba

soldier, poet, king - the oh hellos

raise hell - brandi carlile

ocean blue - moniker

no choir - florence + the machine

leggie blonde - flight of the conchords

little lion man - mumford & sons

rolling in the deep - adele

pirate song - ben barnes

i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers

hello my old heart - the oh hellos

a pirate's life - joel fry

to death we go - joel fry

hurts like hell - fleurie, tommee profitt

lay all your love on me - abba

judas - lady gaga

the moon will sing - the crane wives

this side of paradise - coyote theory

shrike - hozier

enchanted - taylor swift

the night we met - lord huron

dear wormwood - the oh hellos

iris - the goo goo dolls

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo

the foundations of decay - my chemical romance

curses - the crane wives

matilda - harry styles

if i could fly - one direction

welcome home, son - radical face

the mary ellen carter - the longest johns

sweet disposition - the temper trap

like ships need the sea - emily hearn

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippet Monday: Blackmail au

Prologue

"Travel the stars with us," the Precursors said, "Become one of us."

"I will," answered the hero, "but only on one condition: in the next iteration of this endless cycle, let the child have his family. Let at least one iteration of us know his father."

"If we allow this," said the Precursors, "you will still be the chosen hero. You will still hold the blood of Mar. And you will still suffer. But for one lifetime, we will let the child be a separate person, in exchange for your service in this lifetime."

"Then it is agreed," said the hero, and so the wheel of time turned, changing direction ever so slightly.

Part One: The Bargain

"Ah, there he is, right on schedule." Krew chortled as Jak slipped through the pub door.

There were a lot of people at the bar, all Wastelanders. Tess shot a worried look at Jak, but kept her bubbly smile up. What was going on? Were these friends of Sig’s? Jak wasn't so sure, considering the concerned grimace Sig was sporting.

One of the newcomers, a broad, scarred man with a drooping mustache, stood up and approached Jak slowly.

"Yep," he drawled, circling the boys, "Nipper's got the eyes alright. Same jaw, too." He snorted. "Heh. And here I was afraid you was losin' your touch, Krew. Right. We'll take 'im."

"Excuse me?" Daxter sputtered.

"Sorry, Jak," Krew said without the slightest shred of sincerity, "But after that little racing stunt of yours, I had to do some thinking. I've got a lot of money riding on Errol winning that final race. I'm afraid you've just become too expensive to keep on. No hard feelings, eh? It's just business."

"Ok?" Jak eyed the Wastelanders suspiciously. "And that's supposed to keep me from racing because...?"

"Because you're under new management, shall we say." Krew gestured to the Wastelanders. "Don't think of it as being fired! Think of it as a transfer of sorts."

Daxter bristled. "You wanna run that by us again, Morning Breath?"

Instead, the Wastelander turned on his heel to face Krew. "Now, you an' me, we both know you're askin' too high for the state the brat's in. Come on, Krew, you ain't fed him this whole time?"

Jak went rigid and began to back towards the door. Whatever was happening here, he wanted no part of it.

"Well it's wholly up to your lord's discretion, of course," Krew said, oily smooth, "If you can't come up with the price, I'm sure the Baron would pay fairly for a soldier of Jak's caliber."

One of the women at the bar laughed meanly. "Lordship said you might say that. He also said to remind you that you could do that, but only if you feel like being hanged with your own entrails."

Krew fanned himself and hovered higher. "Oh dear me, that sounds like bad blood, doesn't it? Speaking of blood, you'd best get moving if you don't want to lose the boy, there. I'm not responsible for losses incurred during pickup."

Jak had barely gotten out the door before they were on him. Someone grabbed Daxter from his shoulder, and four more sets of hands pinned his arms. These weren't weak, exhausted Havenites. Or indolent KG looking for excitement. These were real Wastelanders, and they were more than a match for Jak's struggles.

"Let him go, rot you!" he snarled, lunging for the woman holding Daxter by the scruff, "Get your hands off him!"

"Easy, boy, easy." The woman took a step back. "Just gonna hang onto Shorty here as insurance."

Sig finally managed to push his way through the crowd and elbowed one of Jak's captors in the gut, hard. As the man doubled over, Sig ripped his hands off of Jak's arm.

"Hands off my rookies," he hissed.

"Sig, w- what- what- what-" Jak could barely speak. Rage and terror constricted his lungs, his throat.

"I don't know, cherry." Sig shook his head grimly. "But I'm gonna find out. No matter what happens, you stick close to me and do as I do, okay? We're gonna get you through this."

Then he shoved the rest of the Wastelanders away, one by one. They parted like wheat before the wind, like they knew Sig. Like they respected him. The second he was free, Jak had to lock his knees to keep from collapsing. He couldn't even bring himself to be angry that they could all see him trembling uncontrollably. Krew had sold him to Wastelanders like a piece of meat. Like a slave. What would happen to the search for the Tomb if he was imprisoned in the Wastes? Would The Shadow force the Kid to search in Jak’s stead? He wouldn't put it past him, not after the jobs they'd sent him to do.

"Oh, I do so love facilitating family reunions!" Krew cooed, hovering at the door, "It warms the heart! And me wallet!"

He waggled his fingers meaningfully and cast greedy eyes over a trunk the one called Kleiver kicked in his direction.

"Mmyes, tell your liege lord I'll keep me eyes peeled for the smaller brat, eh?"

Jak's already chilled blood froze. He lunged for Krew, barely restrained by Sig at the last second.

"Don't touch him!" he growled, "Don't you even look at him! I'll kill you! I'll rotting kill you!"

Jak didn't see the Wastelanders around him, even Sig, suddenly exchange extremely grim looks. But when Sig tugged him away from the bar and towards the waterfront, he knew something had changed.

"Quiet, cherry," Sig hissed in his ear. "You're gonna have the Guard down on us with that yelling, and I don't want to give Krew any ideas about collecting that bounty on you!"

They had to physically drag him into the air train, and even that was only possible because the woman holding Daxter captive went in first. Cursing Sig every step, Jak struggled in vain to get his arms free.

"Jak!" Sig finally exploded, "Knock it off! We're trying to save your ass, here!"

"I didn't ask for your help!" Jak aimed a kick behind him and met hard metal armor. Memories of the prison clawed at the edge of his mind, threatening to pull him back into a dark place.

"You have no right-! You can't buy- you- you-"

His breathing became rapid and labored. "I am not a thing!" he screamed, finally breaking free.

Seconds too late. The hatch was closed.

"Jak! Jak, look at me, kiddo, look at me!" Sig desperately tried to grab his arm.

"I don't know what's going on, you gotta believe me. But I know Krew wasn't joking about selling you to Praxis, and I'd die before I let that bastard get his hands on you again."

Kleiver curled his lip at them from across the hold. "Paid a ransom that coulda fed a garrison for a month and this is the thanks we get? Ungrateful brat is what you are."

Sig glared at him. "Ransom?! You walked in there talking like an auction! Who's ransoming Jak?"

The woman holding Daxter spoke up.

"Lord Damas wants him. Krew contacted him, month back. Said he had proof the Heir of Mar abandoned a bastard son during the coup and if nobody came forward to "take responsibility", he'd out him to Praxis."

Jak went very, very still. Was Krew using him to defraud someone? Wouldn't be out of character. But where had he gotten the idea to pass Jak off as the lost Heir? And did that mean little Mar was abandoned? If he was, Jak knew he was going to make this so-called lord in question pay in blood for it.

"Jak? Bull. Damas lost the baby in the coup. He didn't abandon him." Sig snapped.

"Not on purpose, at least," Kleiver snorted. “If you was carryin’ a deposed king’s brat during a hostile takeover, would you say anything?”

Sig tightened his jaw and said nothing.

Jak didn't know how long they were in the air train. He'd blocked everything out. The Wastelanders, Sig, even Daxter. He'd shut them out and retreated into the one corner of his mind where the darkness couldn't touch him. The place where he remembered the sound of the ocean, and warm waves against his ankles. He was free there, and they couldn't take the sea from him.

When they landed, he didn't even notice until a blinding light pierced the hold-

Along with the smell of salt air.

Jak raised his head slowly, squinting through hanks of hair into the light. His free place in his mind didn't have the smell of the sea. Why did he smell salt?

"Everybody out!" Kleiver bellowed, "You know I don't like monks, so let's get this over with, yeah?"

Sig wrapped an arm around Jak’s shoulders and pulled him to his feet. "Stay close, kids," he murmured, and Jak finally realized that now he had Daxter. "I...don't know what to tell you. But I'm gonna do whatever I can to keep you two safe, okay?"

They exited onto a spire of rock, high above what seemed like an endless stretch of desert on one side, and a turbulent sea on the other. A Precursor temple sat before them, surrounded by ruined columns and porticos. Three zoomer-like vehicles were parked near a tiny natural waterfall, which seemed to mean something to the Wastelanders.

"Welp. He's already here." The woman in the yellow turban sighed. "Fingers crossed this checks out, everybody."

She waved to Sig.

"Get him inside before noon, huh? I don't feel like losing a layer of skin to the sun, thanks."

It was nearly ten degrees colder inside the temple. Personally, Daxter thought the weird people dressed in rubber emanated half the chill themselves. One of them approached Sig, holding a small plastic cup. Their eyes flicked to Jak, and they held out the cup with a bored expression.

"Blood or saliva sample," they said flatly.

Jak balked. "What?"

Sig cringed. "They want to...to see if you're who Krew claimed you are. Just...spit in the cup, kid. Their computer will tell them if Krew was lying or not."

When it became clear that the monk wasn’t going to leave until they got what they were after, Jak begrudgingly spat into the cup. The monk exited the chamber without a word.

Jak spent the next three hours huddled in an alcove, behind a small Precursor statue. He clung to Daxter like a lifeline, glaring out at the monks and Wastelanders watching him and whispering amongst themselves. Any time one came close, Jak scooted further back into the cloister. None of them looked small enough to get around the statue at the mouth. They couldn't reach him here.

One man in particular wouldn't stop staring at them. He had a commanding presence, despite not being the tallest or broadest in the room. Scars decorated his face and arms, and sharp points of Precursor metal had been set into his skull. Which was admittedly kind of badass. He watched Jak with dark, piercing eyes and a hard set to his jaw. When a monk placidly paced forward and presented the man with a datapad, murmuring, "Positive match, sire," the man's eyes darkened further.

He turned on his heel and disappeared through a door.

"Sire?"

"I'm going to pray," the man snapped in a rough voice. "Leave me. And get the boy some water, for the gods' sake!"

Was that the man who had supposedly paid a ransom for him? Jak retreated into the very back of the cloister and buried his face in Daxter's fur.

"Rot this day. Rot this whole rotting week," he mumbled.

"You said it, pal." Dax wrapped his arms around Jak’s neck and tried to comfort him. "Hey, they made me spit in a cup too! You think their computer will tell them I'm an ottsel? Or a human?"

Jak blinked. "Uh....how smart are computers supposed to be?"

"Like. As smart as Vin, I think?"

Jak shrugged, grateful for the distraction. "Maybe. That'll freak ‘em out, huh?"

"Oh yeah. So what do you think is up with Spikes? Wrong answers only."

"Wrong only? Uh...he just found out he's part marmoset."

"Or his application for a piercing refund was rejected."

"Or," Sig interrupted flatly, "he just found out he had a kid he didn't know was alive, and he's dealing with a lot of guilt right now."

Sig crouched at the mouth of the cloister and looked in at them. He seemed to have aged years since that morning. He held out a hand and sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Come on out kiddo. We're gonna get you some food, some-"

He closed his eye and shook his head. "Volcan's bones. I...I didn't know- none of us did...gods, he must've snatched you the same year we lost Mar-"

"Mar?" Jak interrupted sharply, "What do you know about Mar?"

When Sig looked up again, Jak was shaken to see tears in his eye.

"I ain't talking about the founder of Haven, cherry. And I don't think you are, either."

He sniffed and cleared his throat. "Little thing. So...he's so- he was so small. Sweetest little kid you ever met, always getting into trouble."

He cleared his throat again and tapped his cybernetic eye. "Only takes a moment. You look away one minute. Not even one full minute. And that's all it takes for the world to end. Praxis sympathizers ambushed us. Shot out my eye and took- took Mar. We never saw him again. But...but I think you did."

Jak's stomach churned, and the world began to spin. Mar? The little boy he'd been so desperate to protect? This had to be some kind of trick, they were trying to trick him into giving up Mar's location so they could get to the Tomb. Daxter's claws dug into his arm, pulling him back to earth before the dark eco could take over.

"I have to go back-" Jak croaked, "You have to take me back- take me back! Take me back! I can't leave him alone!"

Sig shifted and looked up at someone just out of sight.

"I was right," he said heavily, "He knows something."

Next >

[nowandforalways]

"Never to change, ever to share...": An off-the-rails analysis of "Now And For Always" from the Lord of the Rings musical

Good day to you, my dears.

"Now And For Always" is my favorite song of all time and has been since I first heard it at age 16. With the revival of the musical giving us a ✨whole new arrangement✨ of the song, I decided now would be as good a time as any to analyze it as a whole and take a look at a few of the changes made to see how each version accomplishes exactly what it set out to accomplish with it's storytelling from a musical perspective.

A QUICK NOTE BEFORE WE START: While in the original production of the show, "Now And For Always" is clearly diegetic (that is, the characters in the show are actually singing the song in the world of the show), it's a bit more debatable in the new production. Samwise Gamgee is a wonder, but I find it hard to imagine him schlepping an entire guitar to Mordor - this ain't Hadestown, after all (the "Wait for me"/"And I'm coming with you" thing would require an entirely separate post 😉). Regardless, for the sake of analysis and also my sanity, we are going to say that the song is 100% diegetic in both versions of the show.

Key: NA = new/revival arrangement

OA = old/original arrangement

SO

First lets take a look at what stays the same between both versions (which is most of the song, tbh) and see what can be seen. We're gonna get lightly music-y here.

This song is in 6/8 time signature, which basically just means that it's counted out in two groups of 3 notes each - 123, 456 - with a sort of slope-y feeling to it, like rising up to 3 and falling back down to 6. You can also count it in a very slow 2/2 (1, 2), with each of those being on the 1 beat and then the 4 beat of the 6/8 counting pattern. This time signature has the effect of making it slow and relaxing, but still sound Hobbit-y, in a rather country-ish way. This time signature could technically become a very fast waltz, and it does lean into a natural sort of swaying motion when you listen to it. Perfect for singing around the fire.

The rhythm of the song itself is interesting because it's very speech-like. If you try to speak the words out loud in rhythm, it doesn't actually sound that off from a typical English speaking rhythm. This makes it very easy to learn, and very easy to add your own words to, as its implied Sam and Frodo are doing as they sing it. Lassi Longren, the composer of the song, said that it wanted it to sound like an old song that the Hobbits all know and sing around the fire, and the idea of a song like this with a chorus that everybody knows and then verses that are improvised by individual singers makes a lot of sense (makes me think of, like, "The Campfire Song" from The Lightning Thief - a song that is also in 6/8 and with a very speech-like rhythmic pattern).

The chordal structure also contributes to this homey, comfortable feeling. The song is in the key of D major, which is a fairly middling key (it's the key that most pennywhistles are automatically tuned to!), and is constructed around just 3 chords, with 1 more thrown in there if you want the cadence on "strange and rare" to sound correct. This makes it extreeeeeeemely easy to play - like I can barely play guitar, but I can reasonably play this. For the music nerds, the chords are I, IV, and V, with a little vi for that one cadence I mentioned earlier. This is essentially the most basic group of chords ever created, and it seems very intentional to me - it makes the whole thing feel comfortable and familiar, like it's an old song you know, even if it's your first time hearing it (Fun fact: The Shire theme from the Peter Jackson films uses also uses this chord group!). The only this about the song that might make it tricky to sing along with is its range - it's more than an octave, which can be hard to span if you're not a practiced singer. But you know, sometimes you just gotta have that fun melodic contour. Song gets boring if it stays all within too small of a range. :P

Okay so that's all the basic musical stuff that's the same between both arrangements. Time for the differences.

The most major musical differences in the NA as I can see are: Frodo and Sam switching who is singing the higher vocal part and who has the lower part during the second chorus, different instruments being used for the solo instrumental lines, and the whole of Frodo's solo verse and chorus. These all serve the major thematic change in this moment in the NA, but I'll get to that at the end.

First, the vocal lines in the chorus. You all know how much I looooove that Frodo is always on the lower part in the original show (see this whole post I wrote about it here!), and I equally love Sam getting the higher part in the OA for this song. It fits his character and part in the song very well - he started it off, he's done the improvising bit; after one chorus of unison to make sure that Frodo has a handle on the melody, he can pop off. Young, dreamy, surprisingly poetical Sam, with his love for elves & beauty & all things that grow, gets the chance to soar, while Frodo stays lower, hanging onto the melody. It almost works like foreshadowing for their characters, with Sam audibly choosing to do so much while it seems like Frodo is just there, but Frodo's actually doing the arguably far more important part of carrying the melody.

In the NA, they are flipped - now Sam stays on the melody while Frodo pops up to the higher part, and it still works just as well. Frodo's actually been on the higher part for the whole show up to this point, cause that's just how Louis Maskell rolls (the one very significant moment where he sings a lower harmony to Sam's melody is right before he leaves at the Grey Havens, which I could probably write a whole 'nother essay about), but it doesn't screw with the character perception in the way I had initially feared. Sam starts the song, Sam's got the guitar, so Sam stays on the melody, to carry the thing through. This now leaves Frodo free to do his thing with Sam's support. And this is where I start heading into headcanon territory, but I can't help but think by the easy way he slipped into it that maybe Frodo has sung this part before. He canonically has a nice voice (the Breelanders like it so much that they make him sing "The Man In The Moon Stayed Up Too Late" twice in the book!), and it would make sense for a naturally talented singer to get enough experience singing that they are able to whip out a higher part just for fun - maybe, if they ever sang this one down at the Ivy Bush, or by the fireplace in the parlor of Bag End, this was Frodo's part. And speaking from the same character perspective, Frodo is also everything I described Sam as before - dreamy, poetical, sweet - he's just older and, at this moment, significantly more tired both mentally and physically. But, he hasn't lost his hope yet, so he can still reach down and bring out a past version of Frodo, one who could sing that part in the song.

Next, the instruments. This is pretty simple; there aren't a lot of changes, but the one significant moment is the use of a harmonica instead of a fiddle for the solo in the middle of the song. Both versions of the show have instruments associated with certain characters (harp for Arwen, whistle for Frodo, concertina for Gollum, etc.) but the NA has the advantage of having all the actors play instruments, so it becomes rather explicit. In this case, the harmonica is being played by and associated with Bilbo, and that's neat, because this is a continuation of a story that he was also a part of. The fiddle in the OA is more representative of hobbits as a whole, so it also works in context.

Aaaaand the last one, the arrangement of Frodo's verse and chorus. This one is a doozy, because this is where we will be involving my theory on the different reasons for Sam starting the song.

So, the first time I heard the NA "Now And For Always", I actually started yelling IRL "IT'S A HYMN" as soon as it got to Frodo's verse+chorus, because, well, it is. Lemme explain. The orchestrations shift from the guitar and strings of the rest of the song so that Frodo is backed primarily by the ensemble singing "Oohs" and some sort of drone bass note underneath that I can't figure out (probably like a cello or something). The tempo suddenly becomes a lot slower and a lot less "bouncy", so to speak - that 6/8 time rising and falling pattern that I described before is significantly downplayed, and there are a lot more complete rests in the music, and that gives the whole thing overall a much straighter feel. This all gives a very hymn-like effect, particularly the "ooh"s, because voices moving between chords like that in a homophonic way (that is to say, everyone changes notes at the same time) is common in chorale-style hymns, and the drone, because having something called a "pedal point" (one note held underneath multiple chords) makes the music sound a lot older and more solemn. This is in contrast to the OA, which has, while not the exact same backing in Frodo's verse+chorus (it does get slower, and more smooth and flowing in the instruments), certainly much less contrast between Frodo's bit and the rest of the song than the NA. They both do this, but the NA just a bit more emphasizes how serious Frodo is about what he's saying. It's also is a texture that we haven't heard yet in the show and won't really hear again, so it kind of demonstrates the changes going on in Frodo by this point, like he's becoming something not quite of the world (sort of like all those comments in the book about him being "clear" or having a light shining through him). From a practical standpoint, it's also because Sam had been playing the guitar this whole time, and now he has gone to bed, so no more guitar. But above all, the vibe that making it sound like a hymn gives it is reverence, and that is important for the next bit.

Hoo boy, it's extrapolation/headcanon time. I've done a lot of actual musical analysis, but there comes a point where you have to take all those things you've gleaned and start spitballing about what they mean when combined all together. Here's what I have landed in: The changes in the NA reflect a change in Sam's motivation for starting the song in the first place.

Lemme explain.

In the scene before "Now And For Always", the boys are discussing Frodo's realization that destroying the Ring means that the elves will leave, and that there will be no more magic in the world. It's as they reflect on these very big changes that Sam starts singing a song about how at least some things stay the same. NOW. In the OA, Sam and Frodo start off the song in much the same place, emotionally - they're both kind of moody and mournful, feeling shaken at the idea of everything changing in such a big way, and missing the days when they believed that stories always ended with things returning to a happy normal. Sam's line "We hobbits only really like stories that end just the way they started, don't we?" is sort of a rueful realization that they are both severely freaked out by all of this because they come from a place that values unchangingness so highly. Sam starts the song as a way to bring them both some comfort by reminding them of home. He then fills in the bit about Frodo during the second verse because Frodo mentioned special folk and great adventures, they're both so tired that everything's funny, and Sam genuinely adores Frodo and knows how brave and important what he's doing is. Frodo's verse about Sam, in turn, is sung almost like a lullaby, which makes sense, as lullabies are often directed at the person falling asleep. So Frodo sings to Sam as he falls asleep about how much he admires him right back, sort of returning the compliment, like in the book. The way he says "it's not me they'll remember, you know" just before he starts singing has this weird sort of regretful tone to it, as if Frodo has kinda always known that his would be a thankless task, and that Sam, taking charge and leading them around and taking care of them, will be the one who goes down in history as being instrumental. He has been seeing this whole time how much Sam has done for him, and he knows that in time, others will too.

In the NA, on the other hand, the vibes of the scene before the song are somewhat different. The lines do not change at all, but the attitude from each of them is different. Here, we have the exact same conversation, but Frodo is audibly more stressed about it (not to mention more audibly exhausted), and Sam, in response, is keeping his tone very neutral, almost lighthearted at times. That general vibe continues into the song, which I thought was weird at first, until I realized what Sam is doing. Frodo is very shaken by all the big changes that he sees coming, so Sam responds by reminding him about the songs that they used to sing the Ivy Bush - the ones where nothing ever really changes. He says the line from above about hobbits liking stories that end the way they started like he's reminding Frodo of a fun fact, which is that despite everything going on around him, there are still plenty of stories about heroes where things are allowed to go back to the way they were. In other words, while the OA of "Now And For Always" is two people trying to comfort themselves by singing something that reminds them of home, the NA is Sam Gamgee Is Going To Cheer Up His Best Buddy Or Die Trying, first by reminding him that plenty of things do stay the same, and then by getting a bit silly and describing Frodo as one of the heroes (who, I will remind you, are allowed to go home unchanged). He goes until he sees a sign that he has succeeded somewhat in his quest - remember my headcanon about Frodo singing the higher part being indicative of his old self shining through? That could certainly be a signal to Sam that his little idea worked. More likely, the fact that Frodo starts waxing poetic about plum cake (which is so valid of him, tbh) when a few minutes ago he had to be ordered to sit down and eat something is also a sign to Sam that Frodo feels better, at least for the moment. So he feels alright to go to sleep. And then Frodo sings his part. And THAT'S why the reverent tone I mentioned earlier is so important. Because it makes it seem like Frodo also realizes, in this moment, what Sam has just been doing, and what Sam has been doing this whole time. The pauses in the music make it seem like he's coming to awareness, step by step, of just how much Sam has done for him, and the only possible emotional response for something that earth-shatteringly loving is reverence. And THAT'S why the NA ending works so gosh darn well - it gets across everything that Frodo is thinking and feeling in this moment with the music as well as the lyrics.

So, yeah. I don't have, like, much of a conclusion for all this. These are just a bunch of things that I observed about these two songs and then my brain running absolutely buckwild with extrapolating conclusions from there. And a lot of this is my own interpretation of what I hear, so if you thought something different, that's totally fine! Also, this is entirely based on only being able to hear what's going on, so if you've seen the show and I got the vibes super off for part of it, please let me know. :)

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you around! Heyday!

EDIT: The more I think about it and try to feel it in my body, I might call the time signature a very fast 3/4. Regardless, all my points still stand. Just wanna cover all my musical bases. :)

[lookwhatyoudidithasanxiety]

Oh dear lord Crumpet....that can't be good for your brain...

Well, as of right now, the daycare *is* being used so cleaning it won't do much. He is elsewhere right now, although I wouldn't call what happened his mess but I don't think I can do much to change your mind on it. You need him huh, well I do not where he is but I'd rather you not be near him or the child he is with at the moment.

What is it that you want from him?

Midnight: A kid? At four in the afternoon? *rolls his eyes* Better be fuckin' royalty...

It doesn't matter, it ain't your business. What's between me an' him is just that: between ME and HIM.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Lost Little Witch

A follow up to No Longer Her. Mary tries to take care of Silver after her ordeal but she might be too far gone.

-

T'were like manoeuvring a corpse as she led her darling girl up the stairs, her lithe form leaning heavily into Mary, barely moving anything except her feet with encouragement. Praise be there not be any guests for them to filter through, but the appearance of any builders in their bright orange jackets had Silver huddling closer to Mary in fright.

She stroked the young one's hair; "Only be Livings, swee'heart. They cannots see thee, 'member?"

No word of reply to confirm whether she did remember that, or much else besides. Mary looked down to see the girl's wide eyes darting about at the floors and walls in great confusion.

"Oh! Must all seem so strange to thine eyes, little'en." Mary reassured, "Been many changes since you was last 'ere. I shall explain in time. Let's just get you settled, ey."

At least the child's eyes did seem to still be working. Perhaps they simply needed adjusting to the light after so long being shrouded. The hallways were certainly much better lit than had been in the days of Heather and then Alison.

Mary reached to find Silver's hand and squeezed it tight, leading her through the door of Higham Suite.

"Good Lord! Silver!" Captain was the first to see.

Everyone else then turned, the whole crew present save for Robin, and Humphrey and Amy who had followed them down.

"Oh my! Hello, petal! You....You all right?" Asked Pat, probably realising as he asked that the girl was anything but.

Silver merely stared back at them all. Silent.

"Silvy! You're back!" Kitty darted forward; "Oh I've missed you so much! You poor dear, you must have been ever so lonely, not to mention bored! But I know plenty of new games for us to play! And so many fun dances and songs-!"

Before Kitty could get close enough to reach her hands out and try to hug Silver, the teenager flinched back and clapped her hands over her ears, emitting a frustrated sound from her throat without opening her mouth.

The Georgian stopped and shrank back, her hands poised together.

"Oh dear. Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to..."

"It's all right, Kitty, love. It looks like she's just in shock." Pat tried to comfort her.

Mary kept her hands on Silver's shoulders. She seemed to be the only one who the girl would allow to be close to her.

"You be all right, darling girl. Just all a bit startlin' for you, ain't it. We'll take it slow, we wills." She reassured her, then looked to the pantsless Tory standing awkwardly by the window; "Julians, can yous turn the tap on in the bath that turns the water into that nice mist for us?"

"You mean...Oh. Well I suppose the steam room is out of use for now, we can make do."

He sidled past them and into the en suite, using his powers to turn the hot tap on.

Five minutes later, he walked back out.

"All ready for you, ladies. Enjoy." He said, dusting his hands off as if it were a great feat of strength; "Let it run as long as you like, it's unplugged and I can explain the water bill to Alison."

"Much 'preciated." Mary thanked him before guiding Silver into the bathroom; "Come along, little'en."

The girl was disturbingly compliant as Mary guided her to sit in the tub, herself kneeling beside her as the steam filled the room. They couldn't feel the warmth of the water, but the air in such a state always had a calming effect, as they'd all learned to appreciate since the spa below had been built.

Silver tugged her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight, eyes staring at the water running from the tap. She rarely blinked, though when she did Mary noticed they were big, long ones. Like a cat.

Mary gently rubbed her back, "D'you remember, in the years before Al'son arrived, when the days would be ever so long and boring, we'd amuse ourselves by playin' those little games of make believe? Where we'd pretend to be fancy folk on our ways at a rich party? Or on a quest in a magical kingdom of tiny peoples?"

The teenager turned her head to meet her eyes, just for a second, before lowering them again.

"Well, how's abouts we play that again? 'Cept this time, we can pretend you been on a wondrous trip to all the corners of the world." Mary moved to sit on the edge of the tub, her hands moving to massage Silver's scalp, as if she were rubbing shampoo into her hair; "You dids have to go through many tough times but now you is home. Safe n' sound. And it be time yous be looked after. Shall we do that, darling girl?"

Still no reply. All the child did was let out a big, sad sigh and rest her chin on the folds of her arms.

Mary's ached at how quiet she was, reminded of her own muteness after her death. It had taken nearly a hundred years before Annie came along to help her find her voice again. Not to say Robin and Head Bit hadn't been kind to her in all that time, but they hadn't been able to reach her as Annie had.

Sucking in her worry for now, Mary forced her most cheery voice, humming as she pretended she were just a mother helping bathe her tired daughter, weary from her travels.

"All sounds very excitin', my love. How brave you is, facin' down thems terrible beasts." She spoke, miming rinsing the shampoo off and then smoothing in that cream the modern women now use to rid themselves of tangles, her hands sliding gently through Silver's short hair; "I know yous must have missed us all, not 'alf as much as we missed you. Took the sunshine with you when you dids depart from us, wicked girl."

She tries to tease, as they always did before, but the words make Silver flinch and lower her gaze in shame.

Mary tuts and wraps her arms around her shoulders.

"But yous is back now. And you 'membered to bring all the sun and stars with ye. Good girl." She kissed her temple and just continued to rub her shoulders as she watched the spa people often do to the folk who sleep on tables.

It took a few minutes, but she was sure Silver begun to lean back into her hands, her trembling starting to decrease.

After the 'bath', Mary doesn't take her back into Higham Suite, instead choosing to escort her up to her mostly unused room. She guides her around some of the storage boxes to the unused bed, sitting her down and keeping hold of her hand.

She began to gently fill her in on all that had happened since the day she 'disappeared'. Alison and Mike being offered to sell everything to the hotel people, initially refusing, then Mia being born and how that had changed everything.

"They still visit oft'. And she were kind to leave us a room just for us. But Is still likes to come up here when I needs peace and quiet." Mary explained, one arm around Silver as the teen rested her head on her shoulder; "Don't get much disturbance, 'cept when two of the servants want to sneak off for 'orseplay. That ain't happened in many a year though."

She could see Silver's fingers constantly relaxing and then constricting tight in her lap, digging into the holes of her tights in a pattern.

"You don' 'ave to speak till you be ready, little'en, but...If there be anythin' you wanna tell us, then-."

A pair of boots came running down the hall. Silver tensed beside Mary as a figure passed through the wall.

Robin panted, having clearly run as fast as he could from however far away someone had found him to tell him the news. He stared at Silver in disbelief.

"....Moonah Girl?"

The Pagan blinked again, showing little reaction.

Robin stepped cautiously as he approached, kneeling down to below her eye level. He flared his nostrils, as if checking his nose to be sure it was really her, without invading her space.

"Be weary, Robin. She be bit out of sorts, aren't you, love?" Mary rubbed her shoulders.

The caveman was gentle as he reached his paw forward, his wrist limp as he touched her cheek. Silver's eyes darted to his hand, then her own moved up to stroke a finger along the cuff of grey fur.

Her lips moved without sound.

"Me looked for you. Me did." Robin said, earnestly, "Many, many months I hunt, all over, and every Moonah I visit..."

Silver didn't seem to be listening. The girl was more invested in rubbing the fur and then tugging it to her face to feel it against her cheek. Robin indulged her, watching her carefully, as if studying her reactions.

It was then that Mary noticed how her darling girl seemed to be more interested in what she could feel around her. The grips on the fabric of Mary's dress, smoothing her palm across the base of the bath as she'd sat amidst the steam, and now Robin's furs.

Of course....surrounded by nothing but pitch black dirt for all these years, touch must be as much a wonder to her as what her eyes and ears behold.

"Mayhaps it best you try to sleep, darling girl. Good rest will do thee the worlds o' good." Mary encouraged, brightly.

"Uhh." Robin caught her attention and then pointed to the window.

The full moon hung bright behind a veil of thin clouds.

Mary clicked her tongue; "Oh! Ain't I a daft wench. I dids forget." She shook her head; "Stills. Maybes we just have a lie down in quiets, till you is ready to go out? How's that sound?"

Silver turned to look at Mary, leaning against her hold still. Then she looked at Robin's paw and tugged on his sleeve. Another hum rose up from her throat. Pleading, this time.

"You wants Robin to stay with us?" Asked Mary.

More humming, the slightest nod. Yes.

"'Course, me stay. Always stay for Moonah Girl." He forced a smile and moved to sit on her other side.

Mary looked at him gratefully, burying the quick rush of anger that had unfairly sprung up when he'd walked through the door. How could he not have known where she was? All the time he's been trapped here, how has he never seen anyone get lost as she had, that the thought never had occurred to him?! She knew it wasn't fair. She'd been none the wiser than he had...but she needed someone to take the blame.

"Was just filling the little'en in on all that did occur in her absence." She said, softly.

"Ooh, yes. Lots of good stories to tell. Me got plenty."

The two managed to coax the girl to settle back against the pillows, Robin and Mary laying either side, close enough for her to feel them both in a protective sandwich.

As they talked, more to fill the silence but keeping their voices soft so as not to overwhelm her, Silver kept mostly fixated on touching Robin's furs, then his beard and hair, then Mary's dress or just interlacing their hands together.

There were questions Mary wanted to ask.

How did you get trapped? What did you do to try to escape? Be anyone else down there? Did thou give up attempting to find a way out or rather were thee trapped in an endless circle of darkness?

But none of them seemed to matter as she looked at the girl. She doubted she would, or rather could, answer any of them.

-

This is by the far one of the strangest dreams she's had by far.

Usually they're always the same. She returns to the light, familiar faces are there to welcome her, cheery smiles and open arms. The house never changes. The wallpaper is still peeling, the corners full of cobwebs, windows cracked or taped over. Always people she knows. Her friends. Her newfound family. No livings except the couple who inherited the house, one of them smiling at the sight of her return, the other oblivious as always.

This one started off as it always did. She stumbled out. The plague ghosts are not always the first to greet her but that would make sense so it's hardly a shocker. And then comes Mary. Mary with her arms wide open. Mary with soft words and promises of safety and comfort.

But this time something was off. There was a new face. A girl...holding Humphrey's head in her arms, like a stuffed toy. Why would this strange girl be in her dreams? Her brain has trouble holding onto what got left behind, why is it inventing new things?

Then there was the house. So bright. So clean. So full of Life. Too many Lives. Too much noise. Too much to avoid walking into.

Everything was much too solid. Too noisy. Too close.

Get back. Get back! GET BACK!

When things get too real, she wakes. She doesn't want to wake. Wants to make the dream last as long as possible. Most times she's forced to wake up as soon as a hand reaches to hold hers. So why was it that this one continued on with all the hugs Mary was giving her?

How come she can feel in this dream? Feel more than just...the dirt. The nothing.

Silver lays in the bed, staring up at the plastered ceiling. No outdated artex pattern. Even for a junk room, it had been decorated. Mary and Robin lay either side of her, having succumbed to sleep, despite their best efforts. Despite their promises to stay awake with her. Mary's arm is around her stomach, while Robin's hand is resting near her shoulder. The teen has to keep touching it, waiting for the moment it becomes too much, for the trigger that causes her to wake. To return.

Any second now. The longer it goes on, the more painful it is. Best to get it over with.

Stop teasing her. Stop prolonging the inevitable.

Something thumps beneath the bed.

Like the beating of a heart buried deep beneath the foundations of the house.

Calling her back.

Silver sits up. She takes a look at the faces of those either side of her. This had been nice, while it lasted, but everything has to end. With any luck, she would get to repeat this dream again.

She slips off the bed and pads her way through the door. No one is awake at this late hour, she's sure, not that it should matter as none of it is real anyway. But the best way to navigate through dreams, to control them in a lucid state, is often to play into the dreams rules.

As she passes by the door to Kitty's room, with the new plaque placed across reading Higham Suite - another curious new detail - she pauses. There are voices murmuring within. She presses her ear to the door.

"What did Robin say when you told him?" Fanny asked, curiously.

"Not a word. Great ape bolted off faster than he does when seeing a squirrel." Julian replied.

"Poor thing. Can't imagine what must be going through her head." Pat sighed.

Captain cleared his throat; "I agree. The look in her eyes, same one I remember seeing on the boys who came back from the Front. Like a walking corpse. Which, I suppose we all technically are, but...For many of them there was no coming back. They were like that until their twilight years. Empty shells of human beings."

"Might have been better off leaving her there if it's what she's adapted to, can be harder adjusting to the outside." Julian mused.

"Not everything is the bloody Shawshank Redemption, Julian!" Pat scalded him.

"I'm just saying! Hope Mary and Robin know they've got their work cut out of them if they're hoping the kid will ever be normal again. Or, well, whatever you could call what she was before."

Silver moved her head away. Funny. Their conversations sounded the most familiar out of everything. Despite the harshness of their judgements, it was almost as comforting as the softness of Robin's pelts or the warm caress of Mary's hands.

They were right, however. She knew they were right. She didn't belong here.

She walks down the stairs and into the kitchen, barely recognisable from the dank old space they'd often all gathered in to annoy Alison at breakfast. All clean and modernised for catering to the public. But quiet in the middle of the night. Moonlight shone through the high window at the back. Silver didn’t dare to approach its beams.

Instead, she hunkered down to the floor and pressed her ear against it. The beating rhythm pulsed against her. Demanding her return. Now.

"Soon." She whispers, her voice barely audible from years of disuse, "Will come home soon. Promise."

The beat turns into a thump. Furious. Enraged.

Silver's hand claps over her ear as she shudders, curling up into a ball. Her next whisper is slightly louder, as she's confident no one will have reason to be wandering the kitchens at this time of night.

"Don't be mad. Please. Just one more day. Only one. Please. J-just let me say goodbye...Then I won't leave again. I promise."

[pricklenettle]

And I was talking with Cheryl the other day and she says that she knows exactly who did it. It was Pam. You know, from the bingo hall? Turns out, she was getting tired of wondering which one of them would kick the bucket first, and since Loretta had Pam in her will, Pam just decided to take the inheritance early.

Oh, but you just know they’ll never find her right? I mean, the old bat’s got everyone fooled. They think she’s just as sweet as cherry pie, but you saw just how she was when she lost that one game didn't ya. That woman's got one hell of a sour side, I just know it.

Anyway, it's been nice talking to you, Winnie. I better leave before I get too riled up. Wanna look nice and proper for my date. Real dainty. And I can't very well be dainty with these kinda thoughts on the mind now can I? I'll see you next week. Bye bye now.

The nerve of Pam! She knew Loretta was just waiting for her poor old poodle to be taken home to those golden gates before she did the deed, so to speak. There wasn't no call to rend the little quivering darling from her mistress like that. Loretta was such a good soul, it's such a shame to see her go before her time.

But I ain't surprised. You and me, we both know what Pam did last church supper. She's sweet as honey til she thinks you're taking away something she wants, then hold onto your curls when you see what a nasty piece of work she really is. I thought we'd never get those bread pudding stains out of the pews. And then the sanding afterwards? God lord in heaven, that woman needs to file her nails down.

But, Henrietta, Cheryl is no saint herself. I heard from Lennie down the street, you know, Lennie from the laundromat, that she's been going through her friend, that new lawyer chap that's moved in on Dapple street, and she knows every widow and bar maid from here to Greenville that's got a last will and testament worth talking about. I don't want to spread any rumors, but it seems awful dicey that Cheryl was cozying up with Pam at the bingo hall these past weeks. And now she's dilly dallying over a new car? And I know she didn't win no bingo, because I was the one to put that little bit of pocket change away. I heard she'd chosen that one with the pretty blue paint to match the dress she bought after poor Annetta had her little accident. But she was close to Annetta's sister and grief does strange things to you.

Good luck on your date, dear, but oh, you don't need it. You're already just the prettiest thing around. Just positively stylish. He ain't going to be able to take his eyes off you. I'm off to my hair appointment, these locks are ready for a primp and a curl. bye bye, darling. Oh, bye bye.

[poisonedpowder]

REPOST & LIST 6 SONGS THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE .

(I'll put it under readmore for the dash's sake)

Hurt Me Now by Bishop Briggs

"I miss the way we used to be Two branches of the same tree I could stay crushed by the walls of this room I could stay down, but you wouldn't want me to So give me that weight, strap it to my back Show me that mountain and I'll knock it flat 'Cause nothing's ever gonna be harder than The day I lost you Oh, I could go down in the hundredth round Sweat dripping, blood in my mouth But nothing can hurt me now Oh, they can try to bury me six feet down But since I lost you, I've found Ain't nothing can hurt me now I know I'm my worst enemy With all my doubt But you couldn't make me leave

Dear Departed by The Band Perry

Falling is a feeling that I never wanna feel again, feel again Haunted in a feeling that I never wanna feel again, feel again Dear departed, d-dear departed My friends, we've come to bury the dear departed meWith a death of youth comes a cold, hard truth Can someone comfort me? We've gathered here to remember the kid that I used to be We've got colorful hats with those rubber band straps And alcoholic drinks Wear some dark clothes, we're in mourning But we're gonna party until the morning comes A celebration, maybe a séance For all our innocence lost One time, I said goodbye to somebody Who taught me how to tie my shoes If it was not for him, I would not have been And my laces would still be loose Some precious things just slip away And some things you never find Still, you've got to dance with the things you lost And I've got to dance with mine

Shut it Off by Bishop Briggs

I cut my hair, I shave it off Break out late night, run neon signs My mind is broken by design I'm sick of saying, "I'm fine" Done smiling, done being soft I'm screaming straight from my chest I'm wicked, no need for rest Don't call me, don't waste your breath Big men who talk like little boys Say I'm too much Baby, fuck that noise (Shut it off) I'm the one talking now (Shut it off) I'm not backing down (Shut it off) Baby, can you hear me know? Then you shut your mouth Boom-boom, big shot kick rocks I don't wanna hear it anymore Boom-boom, click-click, guess what? I'm the one who's banging down the door I'm like lipstick on a gun So hard, so pretty, so cold So funny watching you run Run, run, baby, run, run

Crossfire by Rag'n'Bone Man

Dark clouds, dark clouds on every sky We run fast towards the light You said, you said that you could Hear people laughing just like a happy life All those years we spent alone There must be life after tragedy Shout out, shout out for someone to hear And there's nothing left but the memory What if this was not our fate and we still had the time And what if everybody stood with arm in arm to fight together Oh Lord, what if we could say that we made it, oh whoa Nothing here was broken and wasted, oh whoa We were all caught in the crossfire And everyone was stood in the way We're just waiting for a change

Mansion by NF Feat. Fleurie

Insidious is blind inception What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in) Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion

I'm Stlil Here by John Rzeznik

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy—no, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me 'cause I'm not here And I want a moment to be real Wanna touch things I don't feel Wanna hold on and feel I belong And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same They don't know me 'cause I'm not here

Bonus: Close by Zach B (Literally a fansong for Jinx; it's so good)

& 6 QUOTES THAT INSPIRE YOU TO WRITE YOUR MUSE.

❝I keep remembering — I keep remembering. My heart has no pity on me.. ❞ ━━  Henri Barbusse, The Inferno

❝It amazes me what humans can do, even when streams are flowing down their faces and they stagger on, coughing and searching, and finding.❞ ━━ Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

❝ Better terrible truths than kind lies. ❞ ━━  Lora Mathis, If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It 

❝ And that was what destroyed you in the end: the longing for something you could never have. ❞ ━━ Leigh Bardugo

❝ Almost. It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe. ❞ ━━ Joan Bauer

❝ Believe it or not–it takes a lot of love to hate you like this. ❞ ━━ Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

tagged by: @gettnup (thank you for tagging me, this was fun!)

[tsuki-sennin]

Don Don Donbrothers!  Don Don Rolling and going!  Don Don Donbrothers!  Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah! 

Rampagin’ through the streets  Everyone does their part  No other, better chance Our party’s about to start!  Going ape in the club with the hardest beats  Clock strikes, it's time to dance...  Follow My way! 

Feeling your soul blaze, so wild and free!  Swift wings strong as a howling breeze!  I run out swinging, better watch yourself!  Go all out for prizes on the top shelf! 

Right now we Go! (Go!) Go! (Go!)  Let’s show ‘em all our power range now, Avatar Change!  Go! (Go!) Don’t matter when now, don't cry!  Your heart’ll still be shining bright!  Blast your sorrows far away! No way you can't say, "I am the Only One"!

Don Don Donbrothers!  Don Don Rolling and going  Don Don Donbrothers!  Don Don Don Don Don Don Don... Yeah!

That, my dear readers, was an attempt at "localizing" Win Morisaki's "Ore Koso Only One" using the approximate translation of the TV length version of the theme put on the Ranger Wiki as a base. I spent a few days on it, and I understand it's hardly perfect (what with the creative liberties I took), but I felt it's only fitting that I go big for such a force of personality as Don Momotaro.

Episode 50, of Avataro Sentai Donbrothers. Can't believe it's finally ending. Our festival's about to as the clock strikes midnight on this town. I'm obviously gonna miss this series. But like... for how bittersweet this feels, I'm not sad at all. This is the best festival I've ever been to, and we've all made some truly unforgettable memories.

There ain't ever gonna be another series like Donbrothers, but I truly hope that it inspires some absolutely batshit insane stories to be told for years to come.

So, without further ado... Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh my God.

-Haruka was a self-insert for Toshiki Inoue all along!

-Haruka wins all the things. And you know what? She's more than earned it.

-WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS INOUE

-H-Hello, Inoue-sensei!

-He and Sonoza are so proud.

-Everyone's so happy for you :)

-Ohhh, Tarou...

-No opening today, just gotta jump right into it.

-Hatanaka-san...

-Oh no, Tarou's forgetting everything

-"...did you like me putting your life on the line constantly?"

-"...I mean, at first I didn't, but then I did, y'know?"

-Haruka's seen the best and worst of humanity thanks to these weirdos.

-"Man, nobody's gonna try to claim that but you."

-Goodbye?

-Ohhh...

-Shinichi, of course, absolutely doesn't regret it.

-A fun little learning experiment.

-As transient as the clouds.

-Ohhhhh shit.

-"The most beautiful woman in the world... is me!"

-Sonona~! Our final boss.

"GIMME THAT, NERD! You're welcome, scrub lord!"

-There he is! Murakami!

-Sonoya~!

-OH SHE CAN JUST

-STEAL POWERSETS, OKAY

-He can too, okay! That's terrifying!

-Flattened like a beer can.

-Ah, yep. Relationship drama.

-I don't blame her at all, tbh.

-"Shit, this ain't a good time."

-How delightfully anti-climactic.

-A bit of self-reflection would do ya some good, doggie.

-"I'll do it full time. So other people's relationships can flourish where mine didn't."

-Murasame-kun!

-Where ya goin' buddy?

-Momoi Jumpscare.

-Hello, Tsuyoshi.

-"Oh come now, it's okay! I'm a Donbrother, remember?"

-Tarou's so proud of his little losers.

-"Sonoshi-chan."

-W

-Wiggly, what the fuck

-Sonoshi's so fucking terrified, they're about to shit gold.

-MURASAME-KUN NO

-"Our boss!"

-RESET

-WHAT

-Oh okay, Papa Jin's just free now

-There's no need for a Momoi Tarou in the current age.

-"Not my boyfriend!"

-"It's tasty. You should try one, Dad."

-HE EVEN FORGOT HIS DAD AAAAAA

-Good work, Tarou.

-Sonoi on the street corner. What will he do?

-"So like... can you help me remember everything?"

-OHHHH

-That Murakami grin.

-"You seem kinda off, man."

"H-hey, Tarou!

-Oden :)

-"Kitou Haruka. She makes manga."

-Momoi-san...

-"He's a timid little birdie."

-"Good night, Tarou-san."

-Who...

-Sonoi aaa

-Oh no

-The Condor Signal!

-Holy shit, these guys are strong.

-"Well, if it isn't little Sonoi! Where'd your boyfriend go?"

-Ewwwww, don't lick those

-He's goin' on. Leavin' us all behind.

-The executioners.

-"Tarou's left me in charge! It's my chance to do him right!"

-"The author of this manuscript wanted you to read this. ...don't worry, my name is Kaito, I run this cafe."

-Tsuyoshi and Tsubasa! CGI in arms.

-YOOOO MURASAME

-"I hate you. I'm gonna be with my friends!"

-Holy shit, Haruka was thorough.

-His little sister, his boyfriend, his friends, and himself. Don Momotaro.

-God, brutal.

-HERE HE COMES

-Hahahahahahahaha~!

-Laugh, you gotta laugh! The festival is here!

-Up on your feet! It's time to shout it loud, shout it proud!

-Absolute integrity personified! Sonoi!

-A beautiful rose has its thorns... looking to know love, Sononi!

-When something catches my interest, nothing gets in my way! Sonoza!

-The jaws that've snapped awake! Don Murasame!

-Don Dragoku! And Don Torabolt!

-Farewell, transient world! Saru Brother!

-The manga master! Oni Sister!

-The fastest getaway of all time! Inu Brother!

-Faithful pheasant! Kiji Brother!

-Here it comes

-Born from the peach! Don Momotaro!

-Yo! Nippon Ichi!

-Avataro Sentai! Donbrothers!

-TIngly tingly!

-Literally the hypest shit of all time.

-Momotaro Slash!

-He's gone.

-He vanished as he lived. In a fiery explosion brought about by his grandstanding lunacy and obsession with the people he loves.

-Criminal Couple~!

-Oh fuck, Natsumi-san.

-Damn girl, you bounced the hell back!

-Motherfucker broke the fourth wall. to give his scarf away.

-My friends! Getting the Inoue Award! ...I suppose Murasame didn't feel quite like getting up on stage today. It's alright, he's his own man.

-Oh? Who might be at the door?

-Oh thanks Auntie Yuriko.

-The delivery man :)

-We made a bond :)

-The handoff :)

-My heart feels like it's shining today.

-...I suppose whoever Mother and Don Kaito really are is a bit irrelevant, but to be honest I think I've had more than my fill.

-Thank you, old man Inoue. You're an odd fellow, but I must say, you steam a good ham.

-Big shoutouts to literally every person on this cast and crew for going far harder than they ever had any right to. The action directors, the editors, the stuntmen and women, the cops,

-And of course, thank you for watching and following along with me.

-It was a weird path, one fraught with weirdos minor and major, insane bullshit left and right, things that just happen, extremely satisfying sound design, fights like you've never seen before, plenty of love and kindness spread about, and lots of screaming. It was all worth it.

-I expect big things from you, KuwagataOhger. A supposed "King of Evil".

[lotuswitch4]

The Bluebird's Night

Chicago, March 3rd 1927

Margret's Journal

Lord, today has just sucked the energy out of me! I was working a long day as a nanny. I don't think these white Chicagoans ever really appreciate the work of us black workers. I see so many of my neighbors working jobs that pay less than their white counterparts, and sure enough, sure enough, they deal with discrimination- sometimes even violence. With being a nanny, I take care of kids and cook and clean, and itsa better enviroment than I could ask for. I'm working for myself baby, ain't no man taking care of me! 

So certainly, when the day was over, I was going to go set up at the Bluebird's Night. Bluebird's Night is the name of the gin joint I perform at. I've been performing there for quite some time now, thanks to the gracious bartender, and dear friend, Albert. Albert's the owner of the bar- a gruff man he is, but he's not really too hard to get along with. I reckon he's grumpy because he's got the bar to tend to all night. 

It was pleasing to walk into the Bluebird's Night- it's got this insulation that makes it warmer than the outside. It's still been very cold, and all I could see on the public transport was gray clouds. But the atmosphere of the Bluebird's Night ain't that gloomy. It's quite a beautiful, regal even place to perform at.  

Setting up at the Bluebird's Night means I'm rearranging chairs, helping out by cleaning off some of the tables, and helping our musicians set up. I've got a dress I usually perform in, so I'mma just change into that. Once the Bluebird's Night opens, a line at the front starts forming, and you can hear the hushed whispers. The Bluebird's Night's got the best drinks in these parts of Chicago, and with the prohibition laws, I reckon that it's been harder for Albert to keep the gin joint running. 

Now, when I was performing, I felt some sort of tension in the crowd. Usually I ignore this sort of thing, as I'm usually focused on the performance, but in the audience, I saw groups of some folks I ain't seen 'round before. I'd thought to myself, maybe they're new, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was up. Most of them were Italian men, all frowning, but ‘round their table was this Italian woman with the most meticulously styled blonde hair. Someone definitely got her hair styled for her- she smelled like money, that woman. Her string of pearls and elegant blue dress exuded wealth. Which again, quite odd since the Bluebird's Night was nowhere near the rich part of town. Guess she traveled. I watched her for a bit, and her eyes were fixed on our pianist, and she didn't look away once.

I found this was strange, especially because she didn't glance at me or our clarinetist once. I was also becoming increasingly worried for Walter, the pianist, so I figured, once the performance was over,  I should greet her and the group of Italian men. The speakeasy runs on a schedule; there's an opening performance, an hour break, and then a closing performance. Everyone is welcome at the gin joint. Black, white, gay- no matter whatcha were, as long as you didn't blab about the speakeasy, you were welcome. 

Anyhow, I'm about to walk up to the group of frowny Italian men, when the blonde woman stops me. Again, odd, because I was going to talk to her next. 

She smiles at me- "What a wonderful performance! You've got a beautiful voice. I don't think I caught your name." I'm quite startled, but acting is a part of any performance, so I don't tell her about my suspicions.  So I flash her a big smile back, showing my dimples. "Why thank you! I'm Margret." I stick out my hand, and she shakes it. "And you?" 

"I'm Evangelina, but you can call me Eva. It's very nice to meet you," she says sweetly. "Do you perform here often?" 

"In fact I do! I sing with our jazz accompanists just about every night for a little extra cash," I explain. 

"Pardon me- but you aren't a professional singer? I don't believe it." 

"Aw shucks, I'm no professional," I answer Eva, shrugging. "I've never considered making it big." 

Eva gestures to a velvety red chair, pulling it out for me. "And why's that?” she asks me. But my eyes are also on the Italian men Eva was sitting with earlier. Walter's still playing the piano, playing an improvised tune for a jazzy atmosphere. 

I take the seat at the table, attempting to assuage my worry for Walter by rubbing over my knuckles, and then set my hands on my lap like a lady. "So you're wondering why I only sing here?"

Eva nods, her brows furrowed. She leans in. "Yes, how come?"

"Well, didja grow up having to support a family?" I ask her, tilting my head. I don't suspect she has, if she comes from wealth. 

Eva pauses, pursing her lips. "I believe I have- unless you mean financially?" 

Now what in the world does she mean by that? I wonder. But I keep a smile plastered on. "Yes, financially." 

"Ah. Well. I've never had to worry about money," Eva tells me. 

I'd thought so. I wish money was never a worry, but the world ain't gonna coddle me. I've just gotta be tougher. "Well, I grew up supporting my family. Ain't no generational wealth to receive," I explain, shifting my weight in my seat. "Even with my father working in a factory and my mother working part time at a laundromat, it still wasn't enough. My older brother and I took up work when we could to support our younger siblings." 

Eva nods sympathetically. "It makes sense. Even if you did sing for money, you wouldn't be able to tour.  Because you needed to be there for your family," Eva articulates. 

"Yeah," I sigh, giving a wistful smile. "It's a delight to perform here, though."

Eva's eyebrows furrow. "What's stopping you from going big now? You're not supporting your family still, are you?" 

I ain't got an answer for that! It ain't like she's wrong. I've been a working woman for myself, and ain't never considered making it big now.

"I'm not, no," I finally respond. 

"I think you should consider touring. You possess quite an excellent voice and stage presence," Eva says. "Really, consider it."

"Uh huh. I'll consider it," I reply. "If you'll excuse me." The conversation with Miss Eva took much too long. I get up from my seat, dismissed by Miss Eva and start looking around for Walter; he's not at the piano seat. Usually, when he's not playing the piano, you'll find him mingling with different men and women. The first place I look for him is at the bar, where Albert is. 

I find Walter talking to one of the Italian men. Albert pours them a drink, his expression more sour than usual. I can't hear anything, and I don't think it's something I wanna get involved in. It seems like they're discussing something sensitive. 

I'm about to turn away until I hear a strong slamming of a drink at the bar. Albert isn't just sour, he's furious. Albert grabs the collar of the Italian man talking to Walter and yells something. I'm concerned, so I walk over until I feel a cold hand on my arm, pulling me from behind. 

I turn back immediately- it's Eva. "Leave them. I'll make sure there is no violence this evening, don't worry your pretty little head," she says with her sweet little accent, blowing a kiss to me. 

Lord, ain't that something! If I wasn't puzzled before, I sure was now! Does she know Walter? Was she wooing me? I'm left standing on the dance floor as Eva rushes over to the bar, diffusing the situation. 

Albert seems upset at first, but there's no violence. Whatever Eva said to them must've worked. 

It's around the time for the closing performance, so Walter and Eva finish talking, and the clarinetist, Henry-Elizabeth and I make our way to the stage. This time around, Henry-Elizabeth is playing the saxophone. She's very talented and skilled, and she's fantastic at playing both the clarinet and saxophone. Henry-Elizabeth is very expressive! I reckon he moved to the area from Chicago's Chinatown to perform more. The Bluebird's Night wouldn't be the same without her. 

So, Henry-Elizabeth, Walter, and I were in the middle of performing, but oddly enough, oddly enough, Eva leaves in the middle of the performance. She seemed upset. Nevertheless, I enjoyed performing that night, as I improvised a cover with some scatting and riffs on I Got Rhythm by Ethel Waters. I just love that song! Towards the end, I get the audience clapping and dancing as the night ends! 

Today I've just been going from one place to the next and I'm so ready for bed. I've had such a fun and eventful night though. The Bluebird's Night really is my second home. 

Goodnight, and God bless,

Margret

[joyfullovecollective]

Listen listen listen yall. Yall . Listen

I am a completely normal. Completely sane person all right? But listen. Kim Namjoon. Namjoon ah, my love, my life. My genius lyricist. Oh boy, do I feel a lot

LISTEN so like these lines here. Do you see them? Yeah. Ain't it perfect for a lovers to enemies? YALL see the angst is there, and I am a lover of fluffy endings and stories ...but there is great love here. You have to understand that for this kind of calm anger to exist there has to be great love somewhere in there. There was a love that existed without reason and it's now disillusioned. It reminds me of Hozier saying something about how great love and grief co-exist and they can't do without the other. (Dear lord I am connecting namjoon and Hozier how will I survive this) AND while hoziers expression of love is very sublime, Namjoon's is steeped in more realistic simpler expressions. And that's something that blows my mind you know? Because I love both of their work so so much and I am so grateful that I get to witness them existing and living and giving us great art. Anyway I digress, so Namjoon's love songs or heartbreak songs? I have a lot of thoughts about these. I always somehow end up putting Hozier and his lyrics side by side. And Namjoon's lyricism blows my fucking mind at the sheer simplicity of it, and I mean this in the highest sense, his mastery on language and linguistics just give him an edge on expression, the way he can floor you in minimal words but also has produced and written gorgeous metaphors that stretch beyond imagination, constantly challenging language and it's rules and just going beyond so many boundaries .And that's a talent i envy so much (as someone who writes occasionally ) and just the emotional delivery, the way he sings these lines about this feeling that has changed from great love to great disappointement? (Also going back to how love and hate sound just the same to me I AM SORRY) you can feel the rage in not just the words but how he says them. And really how calm yet raging is the line "You can't love someone like I do, that's all I can say to you" like he gagged yall. How true and prophetic "someday a great grief will do come for you and then, you'll know it" hes not summoning the great grief on you he just knows it will come. Like a cycle running. And that's .... something.

Like I would look at my past self and her arrogance of being above love and emotions too and tell her "don't you get it still?"

[flusteredmoonn]

speak now tracklist

now playing; speak now tracklist... — in which flusteredmoonn details the inspiration for each of the songs within the speak now album.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎"...your time is running out..."

mine, j.p. "you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" in which james has the courage to include his prestigious partner in one of the maraudic boy's pranks.

sparks fly, s.b. "kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain," in which she shows him around muggle london, and he is amazed.

back to december, r.l. "so good to me, so right," in which he unspeakably and irreversibly in love with her, but his need to secret keep hinders him more then he'd care to admit.

speak now, r.b. "and the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march," in which his parents see to it that their familial name is continued on.

dear john, r.l. "but i took your matches, before fire could catch me," in which she shows him that his differences from the typical side of society is not something to fear.

mean, j.p. "well, you can take me down, with just one single blow," in which he unknowingly disregards her feelings entirely at the prospect of finally getting another's attention.

the story of us, j.p. "and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now," in which he betrays her trust in order to raise his own agenda.

never grow up, s.b. r.b. "don't you ever grow up, just stay this little," in which he mourns his relationship with his brother, and then grieves his brother's death.

enchanted, s.b. "i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home," in which the hard-headed gryffindor shocks everyone with his confession.

better than revenge, r.b. "now go stand in the corner and think about what you did," in which she is under the impression that he is just like his brother. she's mistaken.

innocent, r.l. "who you are is not where you've been, you're still an innocent," in which she shows him compassion when no one else will, after a particularly strong full moon.

haunted, r.b. "c'mon, c'mon, don't leave me like this," in which he doesn't have the heart to tell her of his imminent departure.

last kiss, j.p. "i never thought we'd have a last kiss," in which what was meant to be a ruse to fool the dark lord works all too well.

long live, r.l. "long live all the mountains we moved," in which they build walls around their relationship as the world caves in around them.

ours, j.p. "life makes love look hard," in which he proves to her that he aspires to live up to his parents relationship.

superman, r.b. "he has his mothers eyes, his fathers ambition," in which is proud of him that he is the one chosen, succumbing to his parents expectations.

from the vault

electric touch, s.b. "all i know, is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life," in which they take a significant risk in their relationship.

when emma falls in love, j.p. "when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same," in which she lights up his whole world, and everyone can tell.

i can see you, j.p. "and we keep everything professional, but something changed," in which they meet at a meeting for the order.

castles crumbling, r.b. "once, i was the great hope for a dynasty," in which the truth of his brother's loyalties are revealed and now he is viewed as the sole heir. somewhat sequel to speak now

foolish one, r.l. "stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love, that ain't never gonna come," in which his friends are the last people he would entrust with the truth of his feelings toward a particular classmate.

timeless, r.l. "you still would've been mine, we would've been timeless," in which their paths in life were always destined to meet, regardless of circumstance.

"...and they said 'speak now'..."