#but damn if it wasnt the worst feeling in the world

[thecherrygod]

Toxic masculinity is so fucking stupid you see a guy who's clearly in pain and wounded, and you are like "oh to open that door you need to push hard. I can do it for you" because you want to prove you're strong and reliable in front of someone who is, at the time, weaker than you, prove you're the stronger man

But then the wounded guy also has his pride. You tell him all there is to do is push hard? Even with an orthopedic neck on, he won't admit in front of another man he is in need of help. If all he needs to do is show he's still strong besides anything, he will, even if it's in vain, even if he ends up wondering if now his clavicle is broken or maybe misplaced, even if at the end he needs to call a locksmith, he will do the masculine thing first, as much as he can. He just won't allow himself a moment of vulnerability, even if admitting being weak would be the reasonable thing to do, the only viable option seems to be to show you are the strongest, even at your worst

Like. Please. Use your brains and consider the locksmith who you still needed to call anyways bc your lock is broken as your first choice before potentially harming yourself it's not that fucking hard

[nekassvariigs]

Man...blushing madly just writing this.

Rayleigh x reader

Age-gap, slow-burn, confessions,fluff turned smutt, body worship, bit of edging, Nsfw.

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Waves sloshing against the frame of the Oro jackson your slender body resting on the handrails you stared into the horizon. The waves shimmered in pale gold from the moons reflection your gaze immovable from the scene.

"Whats got you out here?" The striking man came from behind you, his back positioned against the rails aswell he took in the view of the ship shining under the light.

You chuckled a little, "Just in the mood. It's beautiful out here." watching a pair of sea kings leaping in the air from afar.

Raighleys frame turned around hands overboard he looked out the sea aswell, your body growing colder from the cool winds.

"Have you ever felt.. " you thought to speak but stopped unable to speak your heart. Waves moving the ship you had to steady yourself, boot slamming to the deck as you balanced yourself. Raighley watched your face his eyes rarely decieved him, tonight you looked lost, as if too lost in your own head. He offered you his ears. "Go on.." he waited.

"What would you do if you loved someone but couldnt for the life of you get close to them?" You blurted out, cheeks hazing a light pink, you didnt intend to ask him about this at all, but your heart spoke before your mind could interfere.

Raighley looked at you with a gentless. He didnt think youd already fallen for someone. You were that much younger than him and somehow it ached his heart knowing that you found yourself in this haze of attraction.

A strand of golden hair flailing past his face he sided himself to face you. His glasses gleaming white from the reflection, his eyes unreadable.

"I'd confess. Wether they grow closer to me or not atleast i'd know i've said my peace." Your eyes widened at the thought alone. You turned your head to look up at him, eyes glazing with tears.

"But its not that easy." You sobbed fearing the worst of the situation, You fancied Raighley, however you didnt want to admit to him, he was your mentor, the one who took care of you when you were a teen. He showed you the world so how could you begin to be so selfish as to confess to him about love of all things.

He smiled weakly understanding your emotions far too well, it wasnt easy for him either, it took all his strenght daily to not see you the way you saw him, he'd be the biggest liar in the world if he said he didnt love you but you were much too sweet for him, not to mention how far apart you were in age, he didnt want to be the man pining over something unatainable and yet here he was.

"No it's not easy." He listened to you sob, it hurt him so much to see you like this, so he allowed this indulgance once. His warm calloused hand picked your chin up, your lips were so swollen eyes painfully red, this silence must be hurting you so much.

Feeling the warmth of his hand you couldnt help but to break down even more.

It's you. Its you damn it.

You bit your lip sniffling, why were you so afraid.

Raighleys hand splayed out slowly reaching for your cheek, his thumb wiping away your tears. His face was so endearing, filled with compassion for you in ways he wished you could never feel such pain.

You leaned into his hand compleatley lost of all strenght to continue.

Your cries dried out slowly however you wanted to hold him against you so badly, the quiver in your voice making you feel so helpless.

Raighley hummed trying to soothe you ,unable to offer you more because of his restraints.

You held his forearm, your weak quivery grip lowering quickly.

"I'm sorry." You sniffled, whispering to yourself.

"Theres nothing to apologize for." The calmness of his voice soothing the pain.

Without thinking his hands reached for you enveloping you in his warm embrace, head burried against his chest you couldnt keep even cry anymore, you closed your eyes feeling the waves, and the slow burning thumps of his heart.

You felt like this would be the only occasion you got to hear his heart for the rest of your life. The sea seemed restless tonight aswell, waves growing every other second, you balance already weak you stumbled, Raighleys back making contact with the cabin behind him.

His hand drew lazy circles on your back the other laying low on your hips, he sighed watching the moon rise higher.

What was he doing indulging himself like this. He looked down at you noticing your sobs dying down your eyes lazily watching the waves.

He closed his eyes, head resting on the wooden wall behind him, your body shifted, eyes tracing his features, his linear beard sitting on his chin, the way his hair flowed in the wind, his round glasses laying on the bridge of his nose, the content face he was making while holding you.

"Raighley.." you sighed, your hand clutching the fabric on his side.

He opened his eyes looking at you, your smaller frame hugged tightly against his embrace, he let you go feeling a bit ashamed. "Whats the matter..?"

His hands hovered near your body , he worried if he had done something.

"I hope you can forgive me for this.." you looked up at him slighlty grabbing the side of his collar pushing down, your lips grazed his for a moment before pulling away, however Raighley's hands stedied back onto your frame, squeezing your bodies flush against eachother. His beard tickling your skin, soft lips crashed against yours, his hands squeezed your waist tigher, making you moan into the kiss. He grew a little relentless having waited so long for something like this he deepened the kiss his hand holding the back of your neck gently, strands of your hair tangled between his fingers.

You hands reached to undo a bit of his shirt, hands feeling around his abs, he groaned at the response brows furrowing as his hips buckled against you.

"Wait, not here atleast." he whispered against your lips. Ignoring him you kissed the underside of his jaw feeling him buckle his hips again.

His cock buldged through his pants, he couldnt hide his feelings for you however he was willing to be more patient with himself than letting his emotions get the best of him now.

He grabbed your hand giving it a quick kiss, he walked you down the ship realisation setting between the two of you, the two of you shared a glance avoiding it quickly to cover the redness over your faces.

He ushered you into his room closing it with your body, a slight mewl escaping your lips feeling him on you once more.

His room was tidy, desk littered with different types of books however you didnt care anymore.

Your selfish desire was right infront of you, your hands on his strong shoulders as he lifted one of your legs up to get closer to your clothed sex, his growing erection bulging against your covered entrance.

You moaned feeling the heat of his cock so close to you, you rubbed your hand against it , it felt feverish ,hot to the touch and pleasantly hard.

"I've been waiting for you.." you shamefully admit with a sultry whisper. His smile perking up, he kissed the corner of your lips. "I know sweetheart." Your heart pounded with excitment. Did he know about your feelings,and for how long?

He picked you up straddling you onto the bed. Your eyes finally meeting. "How come you know?" You spoke undoing his zipper sliding his pants down with your legs. "Hard not to when theres two of us." He panted slightly kissing near your ear, his hands traveling to undo your shirt, you raised your hands for him top flying across the room.

"We'll get that later." His husky voice echoed in your ear lifting you up to undo your bra, he slid it off with his hand ,slowly kissing your belly all the way down to the start of your pants, which he pulled down even slower licking and suckling the skin there.

"Fuck," a moan ushered from you hips buckling towards him, his nose poking against you.

he sat back taking off his shirt revealing his tanned body the tip of his cock present through his boxers.

You blushed at the sight leaving him smirking, trying to get up only to be pushed back down his hands roamed your lower body squeezing and fondling your sides. leaving breathless kisses against them.

"Raighley~.." he went down toying with the elastic of your pants. His thick fingers pulling down your pants along your underwear in one fell swoop exsposing your drentched pussy.

Resting on your elbows to admire the sight as much as he did he planted his face between your legs ignoring your exposed core and focusing on you inner thighs, he pulled you closer to him, your body dragging along as you gasped from his touches.

His tounge circled against the smooth surface of your legs, his hands fondling with your thighs as you toyed with your breasts.

"Youre so pretty." he breathed against your skin sending shivers down you legs. His mouth cupped the other side of your inner thigh suckling on it with loud gulps. Seconds later he pulled back revealing a dark pink hickey. You rolled your eyes noticing how he marked your body wishing he did this all over you.

His hand unwound one of your legs letting it rest on his shoulder he toyed with your damp clit, thumb stroking it he saw how needy you were for him, he kissed your lower lips suckling them having a taste of your juices, he swallowed proudly relishing the sweet soury taste. "Youre delicious.." he murmured licking his lips, his cheeks dusting scarlet.

You looked at him through your thighs taking the side of his glasses off his face, brushing a stray strand of his hair away from his handsome face. "Thank you~" your eyes coated in love your hand brushed past his cheek which he quickly caught placing a kiss onto your palm his narrow eyes looking at yours seductivley.

Your thumb brushed his cheek for a second which he leaned into before plunging his face into your core, tongue rolling over your clit feverishly, unable to contain your yelps of pleasure you tried covering your mouth, he quickly grabbed your hand rubbing circles on it. "I need to hear you.." he panted between kisses, suckling your lips, he felt everytime you bucked against him, he absolutley cherished how you wanted more of him, it made him proud to have you begging for his touch.

"Rayleigh please.." His cock twitched having just jinxed himself. His nose rested right on the top of your clit his shameless tongue licking you over and over, he bided his time rubbing one finger against your wet hole. Your toes scrunched feeling how well he knew to tease you. He gently inserted his finger rocking it back and forth his tongue doing most of the work on pleasing you, he started doing kitten licks on your pussy his finger curling inside you leaving you a squirming mess.

"R-raighley, no~" you stuttered your words but he had a habit of not listening when he enjoyed himself. He rubbed his face all over your pussy, his beard glistening with your juices, he wiped it proudly kissing your belly once more "I know darling." he sat back undoing his pants, cock springing free from the cloth prison it was in, the tip was glistening with precum showing just how much he loved eating you out.

He rubbed it a couple of times smearing his precum all over his thick shaft. He lazily spit in his hand his smirk inevitable as he stroked his cock , he lowered himself over you gently kissing your lips, "May i?" you nodded as he kissed you once more. "You'll have to say it sweetheart~" he brushed your hair to the side enjoying how red your face was from his scandalous actions.

"Please, I want you Raighley~" He smirked positioning himself against your entrance, he slowly traced the tip of his cock inside of you. He groaned in pleasure feeling your warmth, he waited a second to let you adjust to him before pushing further inside. The way you pushed your head back, your hands traling down keeping his cock positioned inside drove him more restless by the second, he started off slow , however he couldnt resist you, he quickly fastened his pace seeing how much you enjoyed being fucked by him.

He held you by your hips watching as his cock slide in and out of you, your breasts jiggling between the thrusts. You played with your nipples squeezing the buds for more pleasure, biting your lower lip you looked up at him, he was so focused on making you feel good , You held out your hands for him which he quickley wrapped around his neck lowering over you, trapped between his hands his rugged panting tickled the skin on your chest. You leaned in to kiss him, loud exhales coming from the two of you as you shared your bodies with eachother. You pushed away after a second with a sloshing pop finding your head between his neck leaving inconsistant kisses and bruises along his collarbones and neck. You laid back admiring your work on the handsome man as he bucked his cock deeper into you. Heat rising betwen your legs you guided Raighleys hips against you, the inevitable sloshing of your arousals piercing through the room, he lowered his head panting heavily mumbling a low "Fuck." His cock twitching inside you.

You were loosing your mind moaning profanities everyime his cock stroked against your sweet spot.

"Right there Rayleigh, Fuckk~" your voice desperate for him, Moans falling throughout the room, he loved how you clentched around him. He leaned for another sloppy kiss, one hand groping your chest as he pumped himself fully into you. His cock twitching vigurously he wasn't allowing himself to cum just yet he wanted to see you in pleasure first, he wanted you to come undone before him first.

Pecking your cheek then lowering himself to place brethless kisses on your chest his fingers worked their way to your sensitive clit rampantly nudging it with his thumb, Your legs shaking madly your climax reached its peak you squirted all over his chest far too lost in the bliss to be ashamed about it , he winced not having much strenght to resist himself pumping you full of his seed, both of you sharing a deep kiss he lazily kept pushing his cock inside you making sure not a drop escapes.

"I love you.." You whispered against his swollen lips.

His heart skipping a beat, he picked you up laying you inside his lap his cock still inside you as your pussy twitched all over him. He looked at you lovingly kissing every spot he previously marked, his hands pulling you closer to him. "I love you too..." He felt a sense of pride knowing you loved someone as old as him.

"Youre okay with me?" he asked brushing your hair aside once more.

"Why wouldnt i be?" you responded hands lacing on his neck. Raighley kissed your hands slowly, looking you in the eyes with a sense of doubt.

"Im way older than you, are you sure-" you shut him up with a deep kiss holding him close to you as you crawled your way deeper into his lap.

"So sure Raighley..Youve got no idea.."

[plaguethewaters]

@thetiredyuk i am having more Thoughts about that one - ranboo is the sone of death beeduo au. I was about to just send you an ask but also this is almost 2k words so it may be better off as a post lmfao

So like. bullet points time, this is an approximate summary of what i think the Plot would be like - wordbuilding aside

(Temporary mcd, suicide warning)

Year like, 1500 something (to be more well researched but i do want it to be like. something something renaissance. it works) we've got two poor ass kids born of the same year. Except tommy is pretty much a normal guy, liked by his family and such. His parents have enough children they can gamble for at least one to be successfull, so they send him to be a painter's apprentice in the hope he'll make some kind of money. There, in the slighter bigger town thats almost a city but not quite, he meets tubbo. Now Tubbo would have been a normal guy, except he was born with facial deformities so now everyone thinks he's a demonic freak hated by the gods (this renaissance world is politheistic bc kristin needs to be there and also i wil not do christianity if i dont have to lmao.)

Tommy is not intimidated by any gods. obviously. also his dad is really into the goddess of death and he prays enough for both of them, so he's like. protected and shite. And he immidiately hits it off with the cursed boy

surprise hes not actually cursed but people are dicks anyways. Tommy makes him a fancy mask to cover his face - even thought its totally cool as shit, but its cool enough only tommy should ever get to see it - and that eventually does help him. Because tubbo wasnt like, a shit guy. Hes a damn good builder and knows how to read, which are talents big enough that the costruction workers for that church out of town are ready to ignore the whole probably cursed thing. As long as he as the masks.

Tommy: makes him the first genuine gift hes ever received in fifteen years of life Tubbo: never takes it off again. like never Tommy: shocked pikachu face

anyways so tommy dies like. super young. They have their fun for a few years but at like seventeen tommy is called to be the artist for this very fancy duke of the town over - and at the start they'r super happy bc that means Money and Food and Roof over your head and shite. its a very good fucking deal.

except the noble is a bastard. His town revolts against him, and when they storm the castle they aren't exactly asking names or faces: tommy gets immidiately like, super destroyed by the crowd, and dies a few minutes later.

Tubbo hears of this like five months later bc its the fifteen hunderds and hes poor.

He does Not take it very well ngl

He goes a bit murdery - basically hes like "im not living without tommy, might as well burn down a village while im at it right, right."

Now ranboo, in all of this, freshly the equivalent of seventeen for an immortal death being, is starting on their training to actually become death- His mom send him on a quaint little village in europe thinking "hey, the most those guys die of is like. malaria. consumption maybe. itll be easy as hell"

And now like two hundred different souls are around him with FIRE written on their foreheads and Ranboo feels distinctly outside of his range, to be really honest.

he steps a couple ethereak planes down just to see what the heck is the matter - if this is another of those voide beings his mom will be Super Pissed and they want to see that reaction

And it isnt the void people

Instead, in front of their eyes, the singular most beautiful person hes ever seen - and hes seen lots, in this line of work.

He cant see their face, but their actions speak enough. The sheer rage, the almost dance like movement of their body perfectly framed by the light of their torch, seeing no humanity or mercy in whatever their searching for. their hair look angelic in its softness, burnt by the worst flames of hell and yet tended by the same hands who wield it - strong hands, clearly forged by hard work and dedication. This is a guy who has nothing to lose, and there's little Death loves most than someone who doesnt fear it.

He has to go down, has to speak to them immidiately.

So he does.

There's really no time - his mom had given the singular rule not to interact with humans, shell be on them in Seconds- but one question can be asked in the haste: "What brings a mortal to do this?"

"It's all for you, love!" the mortal says. They also say some other things, after, but Ranboo is not very well versed in the human tongue and they are speaking Very Loudly.

(Tubbo actually said "Fuck you, you motherfucker it's Your Fault, you took every single thing i love". Easy mistake, if one thinks about it.)

Their mom is Pretty Pissed but she does undesrtand stupid things done for young love. So she's like "eh, ive loved mortals too. go have fun" and everything

Except a year passes, and ranboo still hasnt even spoken to the guy, and she remembers suddenly Mortality Exists.

Shes never had them take a soul who died naturally - for lack of occasion, mostly - and they may have been. a tad sheltered. They most definitely do Not know what death actually is like for humans, nor how long does it take for them to die

she wonders if it would be a tad overprotective to take this over for them

she thinks about seventy years in the future, at most, when the boy dies. She thinks that her son cannot cry but can definitely cry. she thinks of their screams of sadness ringing through her ears-

Tubbo wakes up in the river, alive.

He did not Intend to be alive, and it's actually quite unfortunate for him to be so.The survivors are quite angry and probably close to him, now. Welp, no way to die is reallt any worse than another, he thinks. Ill just wait here for them.

When the pitchfork collapses his heart and he continues breathing, he understands something might be a little bit wrong.

And like, a good five hundred years pass like this.

Things Tubbo has learned in his five hundred, twenty three and two halves years on this demon forsaken earth:

Clothes get so much shittier over time. he has One (1) tailored shit from the 1800 and Nothing has even barely compared to it ever since.

getting stabbed does not hurt less just because youre not actually dying. Poisoning is actiively way worse since you're not actually dying. Diving off cliffs is Not Fun. In general, try not to do dying things even if youre immortal

theres a hole in his heart where his loved ones were and it will never get filled

Food gets esponentially better over time. Lord bless whoever decided curry should go on chicken because they were Cooking For Real. Chocolate was still better before though.

Working for soulles bosses has not changed At All in all of this time tho.

he works at mcdonalds because no college would accept his non existant resume, and being immortal dosent deprive him of his needs unfortunately. The manager took one look at this kid dressed from like three different centuries with a goat mask on his head and was like. why not. at least youre not a stoner and you know how to read.

His coworkers firmly believe hes a criptid and have a full going investigation to prove it. The highest bet at fifty dollars says hes mothman in disguise, there to eat the fliest that live on their shitty food. The lowest bets hes an angel waiting for the right time to brign down armageddon.

Every night he goes in the woods to an almost forgotten Death altar and he prays. Half of his prayers consist of insults and the other half are pleas for her to fucking kill him already

This does not help the criptid chronicles

Kristin also has like. only so much patience. Hes holding up the prayers line - which is actually still pretty fucking used in central asia - and hes generally annoying as shit.

She takes ranboo by the scruff, gives them a passable human form, and throws them down there. Get your shit together boy youre like a thousand years old. Get your man (to stop fucking with the phoneline)

Ranboo is Not Enthusiastic about this but cmon. Hes death. How hard can working at a mac really be?

Spoiler it is

Spoiler it does Not matter, because awkwardness aside ranboo is funny, and easy to talk to, and compassionate and caring. He doesnt want to kill tubbo, he doesnt look at him like hes a fictional creature (and yes marcie, hes seen the bet table), he isnt his soulless boss. Tubbo is grieving but he also very desperstely wants a friend.

One day someone stops at his shitty apartment at like three am

Ranboo stands in fron of his door drenched from head to toe, holding the possibly smallest kitten tubbo has ever seen in his Life. Hes miserable but the cat is miracoulously dry, screaming their head off - and ranboo is panicking. Are they okay are they dying? Do you have any food i dont know what he eats but its so small and i didnt know where else to go- please i dont want it to die or something and-

The moon shines on their long, wet hair and their stupid fucking suit is as wrinkled as ever. They look like they desperately want to rub their hands against each other but there is a kitten in the way and it probably makes them even more anxious - theres very little messes bigger than him, right now.

Tubbo falls in love.

They heal the kitten and keep enderchest in their now shared apartment.

They grow closer, and closer, and something is forming. Ranboo is aware a relationship cannot be based on lies, as much as it worries him how tubbo will react.

so he prepares like a romantic ass evening

roses and candles and a nice dinner with a fancy wine

tubbo almost gets flustered

except at the end of the night the confession isnt "i love you" but "im the guy who took away your only ffamily".

and he sees Red.

Ranboo doesnt remember what tubbo screamed, not exactly. He remembers grief, and crying, and feeling worse than he ever believed he could. He remembers the endless guilt sitting in his chest, and the slam of a door - maybe from the inside out. Hes definitely outside, now, and the house ifìs far away enough eh cant see it, but that could also be the tears.

His mother finds him crouched in a patch of grass, tears steaming down their cheeks in a constant flow. Shes not aware if they'd returned to death form to feel safer, or because they believed they deserved the burn. Shes not sure what option makes her feel worse.

shes aware that this is. pretty much her fault

TO HER DEFENSE she was not really aware humans were so touchy about death. The souls she reaps arent very talkative and the guy shes with is chill about it so like. maybe this one is weird

(the guy she's with is Phil, whos Decidly not a human but has also decided not to tell her yet. For the bit, yknow? He's been a live a couple thousand years, it would be awkward to drop it now. He's also somewhat a serial killer and Not Normal about death At All)

BUt this is still here fault and she does have to set it right a little bit

So she summons Tubbo to her persnoal room in the palace and goes like. "oi. why r u so mad little guy"

And hes like: you took away the single person whos ever loved me ever

"Wait that's the only problem?"

"What the fuck else would it be"

"thought u were mad at him cause he lied lol"

"LYING IS NOT WORSE THAN KILLING A GUY"

Anyways Kristen is so relieved rn. She thought tubbo was phisically like, repulsed by the concept of death and all, and he was mad that Ranboo lied to him and all. Which he is, but the rage is so so much less than the grief yknoe. And she knows how to fix it if its just one (1) measly soul

Tommy is so fucking confused

Th modern world is full of sounds and weird textures and the food is fucking fantastic but also Too Much, and Tubbo introduced him to this weird ass potion hed called a bong and now hes seeing gods the likes of which had never been discoveres

Over all hes just happy to be alive and with his best friend

He kinda hates ranboo. The fucker threw a scyte at him for no reason when tommy would have Almost Certainly survived because he is simply That Cool. Ranboo didn't believe in his awesomeness enough and is thus a Bitch

Tubbo is. iffy

He cant deny he has a teensy tiny crush now, because hes far too deep in this for that

But also ranboo did like. lie straight to his face

but also tubbo would Not have believed him if a random guy showed up at three am at a mcdonalds saying they were the child of death

and he Did trust that what he saw in ranboo was real, betrayal aside. No one fakes looking That much like a wet cat

so it does take a while. couple years in fact, to get back at the level of trust they had before (inster a cool anime montage where they have lots of fun together as roommates and cats coparents and all)

One night when they are - not back together, because they hadnt been dating before, but back to that almost definitely dating just not officialized stage- ranboo asks him if would ever want to be mortal again.

And tubbo thinks of it. His time on earth had been so plagued by grief hed never really ecperienced anything it had to offer. Hed never seen the sights or did anything at all besides praying for death, and thats kind of a shitty way to pass five hundred years

'But tubbo what about your humanity? wouldnt it be irrevocabily lost by giving awau something so fundamentally human as death" someone would ask. And tubbo would anser "ehh who cares"

He hasnt been fully human since hes burned that whole village down, anyway. And he likes the benefits of this life more than whateer moral superiority a Normal human would have over him

just-

"and tommy too, obviously. I get the feeling you dont like him dead" Ranboo jokes.

There's no decision at all then. Fuck yeah, immortal boyfriend and immortal brother what more could a fucker want.

They get to cause chaos on earth and probably kill a bunch of rich people for a long long time

the end :)

Im like. very tentatively calling this Deathless Death, in the vane hope that i will write something for this better thant bullet points. But for now bullet points it is

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

Sing Yourself to Sleep - Bucky & Y/N - Part One - Marching On

Hey everyone! Again, thank you so much for all the ove on my first fic, I'll Look After You. I've decided to try my hand at a new fic, this one will be more angsty. Each chapter will be loosely inspired by a song. Music really inspires me and I often think of different little scenarios when listening to my favourite songs. These are not stand alone chapters and will all accumulate into one story. This first chapter is inspired by Marching On by OneRepublic. Enjoy!

It had been a long, hard day. Y/N was still processing everything she had seen since first showing up at Thorpe Abbotts. The wife of Colonel Clarke, she didnt need to leave her home to live on the base, but she wanted to be close to her husband and help where she could. It was unusual, a Colonel's wife deciding to work in the kitchen of the base, but Y/N was a profound baker. Everyone and anyone who knew of her knew that her cookies, pasteries, cakes and anything else you could put in an oven was amazing. So when Y/N found herself at a lose end, she headed into the kitchen of the mess hall and asked the staff would they let her use the kitchen to make baked treats for the men. They agreed, mostly because they were afraid of saying no to her, being who she was.

Now she stood in the middle of the mess hall, looking at all the empty seats. So many good men lost, some of which she had grown quite fond of. It became suffocating, she needed to go for a walk.

She would herself walking towards the B-17s, or at least what was left of them. Some of them needed serious repairs, and she on Lemmons and other mechanics working on them. She looked over to the intact planes when movement caught her eye. There he was, Major John Egan, sitting on the wing of a plane with a bottle of whiskey. He saw her staring, and gestured the bottle to her. 'You thirsty?' he said. As much as she shouldnt, she felt a swig of whiskey was exactly what she needed. She walked over to the wing of the plane and hoisted herself up so she was sitting beside him. He passed her the bottle and she took a big gulp, enjoying the burn as it went down her troat.

Bucky was tired. Tired of missions, tired of the war, tired of his friends dying. They had lost so many today, including Curt. And there wasnt a damn thing he could do about it. So he did what he could do; drink. He saw her walking around the airfield like a lost sheep, she wasnt normally out here, she was one of the few wives living on base and of them, she was the only one to be seen outside their quaters or the officers club. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned to him, a question on her face wondering what he was doing sitting there. He saw her eyeing up his whiskey bottle and thought that sharing it with a pretty lady might not be the worst thing in the world.

They sat in silence for a long while, passing the bottle back and forth until sadly, they reached the end. When Bucky put the bottle to his lips and was met with nothing he sighed, 'Great, first Curt, now my whiskey.' Y/N's eyes darted to him. 'Curt? You mean Curtis?' realisation dawned on her. 'Oh no, poor Curtis.' She had gotten to know Curtis Biddick well, he always complimented her baking; particularily her muffins. She found his thick New York accent endearing, and he always did his best to make her smile when they spoke. She was sad to know she would never hear his voice again.

'It's sickening' Bucky finally said. 'We keep losing our men, our friends, our brothers. And we just gotta keep going. Gotta get back in the sky and-' 'Keep marching on.' Y/N interrupted, lost in her own thoughts.

'What?' he asked, confused. 'It's something my mother always said. When something bad happens, and you feel like you cant cope, you keep marching on. I think thats why I go for walks when I'm sad.' she said with a slight chuckle. 'Your mother sounds a lot like your husband.' Bucky said dryly. Y/N then let out a rather loud laugh. 'She's no soldier, but she's tough that's for sure.'

After another bout of silence, Y/N felt the need to speak. 'You have to do it, for them. If you give up now they died for nothing.' Bucky sighed, 'I know, I'm not actually giving up, just fantasising about it.' 'You need better things to fantasize about Major.' she laughed. He smiled, the whiskey making him more improper than he should be around the Colonel's wife, 'Got any ideas? What do you fantasize about?' She feigned shock and disgust, hitting him lightly on the chest. 'A lady never tells.' He laughed again, it felt good to laugh.

The sun was starting to set, and she knew Albert would be looking for her soon. 'I better get going, Albert will be wondering where I am.' She made to move off the wing of the plane, but found it much more difficult to get down than it had be to get up, her fear of heights kicking in. Bucky saw her hesitation and jumped down, he held his arms out to her in a gesture for him to lift her. 'May I?' She nodded, and soon his hands were on her waist as he gently lifted her down. 'Thank you Major.' she said, blush keeping up her cheeks at his proximity and the intimate nature of his lifting her off the wing. 'Call me Bucky, please.' 'Thank you Bucky.'

She turned to leave walking back towards the quarters. Bucky started walking along side her. 'You dont have to walk me back.' she said. 'I'm not.' he said with a smile. She looked at him slightly confused, she knew that his quarters was in the same direction, as was the mess hall, but she didnt expect him to leave when she left. He looked at her with that signature devil-may-care smirk,

'I'm Marching On.'

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

[that-weird-skeleton-bastard]

🐑Cult of the lamb incorrect quotes ❤️ (Ratau squad edition + Lambert)

Shrumy: Flinky and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Lambert: What did you do? Shrumy: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Flinky: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

🐍---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection? Flinky: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

🐢---------------------------------------------------------------

Klunko : When Shrumy was born, the gods said, "They're too perfect for this world." Flinky: Please. When they were born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

🐦---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: I regret nothing!!! Ratau: I regret everything!!!

🪱---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: All snacks are gone. Flinky: I AM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE?!

🐀---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: You need to stop swearing so much. Shrumy: Shut the fuck up. Lambert: Yeah, that's not how you do it. Shrumy: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it. Lambert: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine. Shrumy: Shit the beep up. Lambert: Shrumy: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

🐑---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: Will Shrumy be okay? Ratau: He won’t be when I find him.

🐍---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: *falls down the stairs* Lambert: Are you okay? Shrumy: Stop falling down the stairs! Flinky: How’d the ground taste?

🐢---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: Do you even know what an amulet is? Shrumy: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions! Ratau: Shrumy, those are omelettes. Shrumy: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

🐦---------------------------------------------------------------

Shrumy: Lambert learned how to fold origami penguins from Ratau the other day. I told them, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day they put them in the fridge.

🪱---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: Do you want this handful of moss? Shrumy: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss? Lambert: Damn, you could’ve just said no.

🐀---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: Silence is golden. Flinky: Duct tape is silver.

🐑---------------------------------------------------------------

Flinky, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Shrumy: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

🐍---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING. Lambert: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY! Ratau: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst. Lambert: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help*

(Lambert when a follower asks to "prank" another follower by KILLING THEM)

🐢---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Ratau: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Lambert: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Ratau: *sigh* What do you want? Lambert: Chicken nuggets please.

🐦---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Squad: Awwww- Ratau: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Squad: Oh.

🪱---------------------------------------------------------------

Lambert: I drink to forget but I always remember. Shrumy: You're drinking orange juice.

🐀---------------------------------------------------------------

Ratau: Here are two pictures. one of them is your room, and the other is the garbage dump. Flinky: *points at a picture* That one is the dump. Ratau: tHEY'RE BOTH YOUR ROOM!

🐑---------------------------------------------------------------

Flinky: What's worse than a heartbreak? Klunko & bop: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️🖤❤️

[sunsetrubdowns]

Also. Hi. I remembered I can talk as much as I want to on here. Do you want to hear about this guy I kind of broke up with but kind of wasnt really dating to begin with and will probably have to break up with again for good measure. This actually turned into an insanely long post because it's an insane situation so I'm putting it under a cut because I love you and your scrolling experience and it's probably incoherent anyways

So. Well you may or may not be aware but I was couch surfing for like 3 weeks in September and a friend of mine who I met through work helped me out a lot with moving my stuff out of my apartment and into storage and helping me get my shit together. And in the weeks leading up to me moving out/while I was homeless we spent a lot of time together (like. Pretty much every day LOL) because I needed to be constantly distracted and he apparently had all the free time in the world. Cool!

Now it's important to give the context that he had asked me out back in like June and I said no because not only did I think we had very little chemistry and he was very needy but ALSO I was going through one of the worst depressive periods in my life. Really just was not the vibe at the time. Also my read on the situation was 100% correct like I was right about everything lol.

So you know obviously I'm aware that he has a little crush on me this whole time but I'm in a truly delusional headspace where I'm like well this is not so bad :) I'm having fun hanging out with him so whatever happens, happens :). And what happens is that WHILE I am still homeless we end up having a little feelings talk where I'm like well this is nice but I've kind of got a lot going on right now and I need to settle my life situation out before I'm comfortable getting into anything official or serious. And he's like yeah I totally understand that. But then maybe a week later after I secure and move into my place he IMMEDIATELY. And I mean like immediately. Starts calling me his girlfriend. Not to me but to other people. Like going around to my coworkers and people at work to be like btw we're together now :). Which made me kind of uncomfortable but I just brushed it off because I am a huuuuuge pushover and I was like, sure I guess we're together. Even though I'm very private about my personal life and it took me like a good month to refer to him as my boyfriend out loud and I didn't even MENTION him to my best friends (hi besties) for a couple weeks after that. Because I was like damn I don't even know what to say. Also he never even attempted to do anything more than hold my hand a few times so we were still just hanging out the way we had been to begin with.

And THEN he started coming to the bowling alley where I work every single night and just like.... hanging around for hours and hours until we closed to drive me home (6 blocks away) and to talk to me while I'm working and on my breaks. And when he drove me home after work every SINGLE night he would park and walk me to my door and unless I was very clearly like yeahhh I'm exhausted Goodnight Bye :) he would often invite himself into my apartment just to hang around until I was like. Okay I have to go to bed because it's after 1am please leave. And it got to the point where I felt like I never had any time to myself and my social battery was constantly at 0 and I was also spending way more money than was within my budget because he was dragging me out to eat and do things constantly and to go to Disneyland and shit and also at the place where I work every single day and not leaving no matter how clearly Im like hey sorry I'm just. soooo tired right now and work is so busy etc. There were only THREE days in October that I had totally to myself. I could barely even find time to spend with my roommate I had just moved in with and he also was not really seeming to spend time with any of his own friends when he'd had an incredibly active social life like, just a month ago.

It was starting to really freak me out that I felt like he was trying to replace not only his previous long term girlfriend who broke up with him earlier this year but also his entire social circle. With lil old me. And I felt like he was trying to force a level of familiarity with me that simply was not there like... man you don't even KNOW me like that don't talk to me like you know me. Don't talk to me like you know me when you're also trying so hard all the time to like, impress me and prove something to me.

It got to the point by mid October that I was like desperate for time to myself to decompress and process things and most of my mental energy was going to trying to find ways to avoid him and scripting a breakup speech in my head. And instead of trying to talk to ME he would go into my workplace and try to ask my work friends. While they were working. For advice on what to do when I seemed distant or unhappy. And even though they really only ever told him to just communicate with me he decided to wait until the day before Halloween to be like "I realized that I was maybe doing to much by going to hang around your workplace every day and also it's been a month and a half but I want to officially ask you to be my girlfriend now :)" and was somehow genuinely shocked when I said no. And basically outlined everything I've said here to be like I need to be left alone or I'm going to kill myself a little bit so please leave me alone.

But it seems like what he took out of the conversation was "I need to take some naps and then I'll feel better and then we can go back to normal :)" because he just kept being like "how do you feel how are you doing you look better are you feeling rested" and continuing to go to my coworkers and my roommate at work and asking about me and show up at the bowling alley frequently and text me continually as I just brushed him off over and over and eventually stopped replying to his messages. Until finally last week I was working on a day I normally don't work and he came in and I, again, kind of brushed him off when he came to just like do small talk with me. So he went to my roommate who was also working to be like "oh I think I'm going to talk to them today we need to talk but I don't know if they just want to be left alone or not..." while she (blessed angel that she is) just refused to give him any real information. But then he just kept like, trying to chitchat with me while I was working so I started brushing him off again and he ended up going to my roommate AGAIN to vent about me. And then left and texted her all this stuff about how he doesn't know if I like him anymore but he's just going to leave me alone and try to get over me etc and how he's been so stressed over stuff with his parents etc etc and framing it as if HE is breaking things off with ME. But since then has continued to go to her to ask about me and talk about how he's trying to get over me and heartbreak and whatever and etc. But has not expressed anything at all to me personally in any capacity since I told him I needed space.

Meanwhile I've gone on multiple dates with someone I genuinely really like and who has slept over at my apartment multiple times LOL. And there are so many little details of weird shit that I've had to cut for time here but like genuinely what the hell man

Anyways have I mentioned that this man is 34 years old. Because he's 34 years old. And if you've read all this you are so cordially invited to share your thoughts and/or guess his chart placements in the replies. Funny as fuck situation that I'm in

[allthatdivides2]

you know when i first started hrt (still a fucking crazy phrase to say) i was scared that i would miss singing as a soprano. ive been in choir since i was allowed to have a choice in the matter and have taken every opportunity to do so since- i was always very good at mimicking the voices of the singers in my range (i remember i could do burn from hamilton and most of anya's solo songs from anastasia particularly well) so when my voice started changing i was, if im honest, a little scared. not nearly enough to stop t, but i was sad that something that was so, so important to me throughout my life was at best going to change drastically and at worst going to be lost to me forever.

now, over 7 months on t, i very much cannot sing along to basically any of the songs i could do a damn near perfect rendition of before. this, i was expecting- even wanted in a way! but what i did expect was to feel some sort of... sadness. a yearning for what once was. what i wasnt prepared for was the utter elation and joy i get now when i sing along to those songs in my new range. holy shit its like the world lights up. those are still the songs i know best, theyre the ones the muscles in my throat remember, and now i can sing along to them without that feeling in my chest that even though i was recreating the song perfectly, something was wrong. i can sing in my dreams from anastasia and it sounds like a male cover. and i have never been fucking happier. i do wish i had more of an upper register, and maybe with practice and training ill be able to access it at some point, but even if i cant. nothing, nothing could ever convince me to give this up. im not a soprano anymore, and im not sad. i dont know what vocal category i am anymore (there are some songs i definitely didnt expect to not have a high enough voice to sing comfortably, like some most of dimitri's parts, but that may be a matter of practice) but i dont care. i finally have my voice. its mine.

[piratadelamor]

istg i didnt know i could be so ugly until i saw the pictures my friend took of me for his t shirt brand u guys have NO ideia how much i regret agreeing to take part on that no matter how much i love my friend and support him i am not joking when i say those pictures really hit my self esteem deep i havent felt the same about myself since then 🫠 i have no idea why this became something so big for me but it really made me feel like shit. im sure that if he knew how to take pictures of me properly it could've been different bc when i see myself in the mirror i dont find myself ugly most of the times and there were a few pictures that other friends took of me that looked fine and i know i can be pretty sometimes but the worst thing for me is that he's using those pictures to promote his brand so they're all on his instagram and i wanna die when i think about it and all the people that have seen them. i havent felt so shitty about my own appearence in years. idk sometimes i feel like i can fully accept myself and every shape i which i came to this world but other times i just wished i had a conventional beauty that didnt need any effort to show itself no matter the context. like, imagine having the confidence of knowing how beautiful you really are. and i HATE feeling like this i really really hate because beauty mostly only matters because of how others see you and if there's one thing i've been working real hard for myself in the past few years is to LET GO of all of it, i dont care what other people think of me, i think i'm a fucking cool person and i think i'm nice and i think im interesting and i most times i think i am pretty too. but idk. this was so heavy for me. i feel much less confident about myself. you know like, i went from really hating myself and finding myself disgusting and wanting to die to loving and accepting myself as i am and those pictures really made me wish i wasnt me and this is SUCH a downgrade of a mindset it took so much effort to build. i've been thinking about PLASTIC SURGERY which is something i have never ever considered in my life before. idk if im getting older too so this type of shit hits harder bc it comes with aging etc but damn. i need to work on this more.

[callieponders]

NGL sometimes I look at the crew's tweets about him needing to stop being in anger mode 24/7 and reintegrate into society, and I wonder: are we supposed to expect him to work through that by himself? Do we expect great emotional regulation and self-awareness from an elementary schooler in an abusive household? He absolutely shouldn't be redirecting his anger at the people around him (note: Hazel. she didn't deserve that ire at all and doesn't owe him any patience about it), but I can't help looking at him and thinking that he needs, like. I dunno. A therapist. An adult. Someone or something that's actually guaranteed to help him out a little. The adults present in the show... didn't seem very interested in doing that, despite seeming to know what his actual core issue was? Maddening. Anyway

(disclaimer before anything i say. i just need yall to know this show could be the worst thing ive ever seen and id still hope the best for the crew bc its their job and people need to eat alright. that being said i do enjoy the show, please dont take this as me saying they need to NEVER WORK AGAIN ala nostalgia critic style or something)

that wording is so funny though, reintegrate into society... the boy is a small child not someone coming out of prison

but seriously this is exactly the type of stuff im thinking, i dont really go on twitter much anymore because i dislike it so i wasnt aware of the things the crew said (and dont envy them because oh man this was a divisive finale it seems). i dont expect an episode like "dev goes to therapy" and the wacky adventures of him going to therapy or something, but im really hoping in s2 they have peri held more accountable for majorly screwing up here and trying to do right by dev with another chance given to him.

the frustrating thing is i cant blame people defending the choices because some people are genuinely really bad at voicing their opinion/critique, especially because it feels like a lot of people arent having the balls to actually point out peri, even cosmo and (frankly the worse one of the two bc she was so much harder on dev) wanda are a bigger blame for the situation with dev. of course people are gonna assume people are putting the responsibility on hazel, id also be defensive about that because thats a ridiculous thing to expect, but like nah its clear its not her responsibility. she is also 10 and has a world outside of dev, and dev SHOULD be held accountable for his actions in regards to lashing out at others around him when hes upset. the fact hes given more critique than the adults around him that are meant to guide him and help him is the bigger issue than that alone.

on that same note, hazel should also be held accountable for the same things, like saying devs problems werent that deep and having wanda, a FAIRY GODPARENT, basically agree??? also when she was like "oh friends work things out" i didnt hear no apology for not hearing dev out or at least for leaving him in the dark on if theyre friends or not. and the thing is i dont expect her to do that on her own, because shes 10, but theyre fictional 10 year olds who will have more maturity than most real kids either way, so like... yknow?

additionally its kind of a double standard either way, if you dont expect hazel to act mature, why on gods green earth would you expect DEV to??? and hazel, compared to dev, has people to guide her the right way and people that are patient with her, meanwhile dev doesnt get that, the most hes ever gotten is hazel and THATS NOT HAZELS JOB!!! im not saying the writers are claiming it is, its just that its frustrating that the writing has ended up with her feeling like the only person who really gives a damn yknow

[constellama]

Noah is dead, clearly nothing can get worse than this (final raven boys live-blog post :D)

Llama reads TRC: Chapters 31-48 of The Raven Boys

Chapter 31

Ronan is grieving for Noah :(

DECLAN?

Ronan bestie please don’t be drinking all alone in your room <3

He’s getting kicked out D:

“Then you’ve killed him” ok ik Ronan’s home life is kinda awful but why is everyone so sure he’s gonna die? I feel like I’m missing something here

Gansey !!

Why do they have so many cars what

Gansey using his rich people superpowers to keep Ronan in school

OHHH SLEEPWALKING.

Ok either it was MENTIONED before that Ronan sleepwalks and I completely missed it or I’m just dumb

Is that why they keep thinking he’s gonna die

Gansey shoving his credit cards everywhere is so real though

Gansey stop taking so much responsibility for your friends challenge !! Impossible apparently!! This boy is so sad pls Gansey not everything is up to you stop carrying the weight of the world you’re literally a teenager

Chapter 32

“And Noah’s dead. But Parrish is here.” Waiting for the day that they eventually get used to Noah being dead and start joking about it

Every time Adam mentions his home life I want to grab him and run very very far away

Uh oh

Don’t kiss pls that would not end well I think

“She felt like she’d done so much work to appear as eccentric as possible and still, when it came down to it, she was sensible.” I’m not good at words but this sentence. Oh this sentence. It makes me sad in a way I can’t describe.

CHAINSAW!!

Ronan and Chainsaw are the best duo actually

Ronan looks so happy when holding Chainsaw :(

Wait, ok. I’ve heard about Ronan being able to dream things into existence (it’s one of the things I got spoiled on) so I’m wondering, did he get Chainsaw from his dreams?

NOAH

NOAH MY BOY

“I was…more…when I was alive.” WHAT IF I CRIED

“You’re enough now. I missed you.” THEYRE BEST FRIENDS ACTUALLY IDC IDC

Whatever you do don’t imagine Noah braiding Blue’s hair <- sobbing

“And he’s about to be a were, too” DAMN??

“Noah, please don’t die for real” ouch ok I’m completely normal about this actually mhm

I WAS RIGHT!! HES CONNECTED TO GANSEY’S INCIDENT WITH HORNETS

THE DUDE WHO SACRIFICED HIM WAS WHELK WASNT IT

Noah is so sad I’m gonna cry

“But you already know.” OH???

Chapter 33 (TW: Gun)

Gansey bestie pls don’t crash your car

Aaaand the Camaro’s stopped

This is like the worst possible timing

WHELK??

NO NONOO

RUN GANSEY

I’m cryign imagine your car breaking down in the middle nowhere and suddenly your teacher appears and mugs you

THE JOURNAL

Gansey pls you have a gun to your head

YEAHHH PUNCH HIM

Whelk just. Just left? Bro just tried to mug a student 😭??

GO HOME GANSEY PLS BE SAFE

Chapter 34

Omg time to go through Neeve’s things

I love Persephone she’s just an anomaly

Butternut?? 😨

Someone called Neeve to find the ley line,,,it was Whelk wasn’t it,,,

UH OH THEYRE BACK

Chapter 35

Adam making tea :D

Ok so now everything’s in order, things are starting to come together. This can only end in two ways

Oh? The ley line will be woken up soon

DO NOT CALL THE POLICE

Big things are happening and I am NOT scared (lie)

Chapter 36 (TW: Abuse for this chapter, stay safe)

Adam not wanting to leave the car :( Don’t go in Adam just leave pls

“Loser” You’re so right, Ronan

Oh God Adam’s dad is awful

NOO ADAM

ADAM??

RONAN

GET HIM RONAN

What did he do to his ear oh my god

Adam pls

“Can I…can I press charges?” YESSS ADAM MY BOY

Chapter 37

Ew whelk chapter

Ok either Neeve is actually gonna help him or she’s planning to trick him

I’m hoping on the latter

Chapter 38

Adam’s ok :D

His ear is screwed up though :(

“You win,” Adam pls it’s not like that :(

These boys are so sad

I get why Adam wants to do something on his own terms but he also doesn’t have to endure all this abuse because of it :(((

WHAT THE HELL GANSEY

BRO???

GANSEY

Gansey you could have said *literally* anything else

Adam :((((

Screw Adam’s mother too she sucks !!!

Chapter 39

NOAHHH

Adam didn’t want Blue to know about his family life I FEEL ILL

Call from Malory!

“Jane” PFFFFT

I’m sorry what

HIS SKIN FELL OFF? What in the magnus archives—

“My words are unerring tools of destruction, and I’ve come unequipped with the ability to disarm them.” 😭??

“What a fine contribution to the world I am.” Gansey :(

Yes Blue you should spit in Gansey’s eye, it would be funny

Adam pls you could get hurt

Guys pls

Chapter 40

Ok yeah Neeve was definitely lying

Oh. She kidnapped him. Kinda slay of her tbh

“Also, Neeve hadn’t tied tightly enough.” Uh oh 😀

Chapter 41 (TW: Gun)

“Your hair is the color of dirt,” “It knows where it came from” IM SHAKING YOU ADAM !!! STOP HATING YOURSELF !!!

Do NOT kiss PLEASE

“Keep being brave.” they are so special

“There was blood everywhere” haha what.

Oh my god his dad had a GUN??

Thinking about Adam makes me sad

He needs a hug

Adam.

ADAM NO

Oh my god Adam what are you about to do

Chapter 42

GANSEY WAKE UP

HES GONNA WAKE UP THE LEY LINE ALL BY HIMSELF??

Chapter 43

“Are you sleeping?” “Yes,” just like me fr

Santa Claus metaphor,,, I love these two they’re the best mother daughter duo

His name was Artemus?? Kinda sounds like Artemis,,,

“Drugs might be better” lmao

The Raven boys are here!! Go save Adam!!

And get Neeve too, from whatever she’s off doing

Chapter 44

Adam !!!

All the descriptions of Cabeswater are so pretty ough

UH

ADAM NO

YEAHHH NEEVE KILL HIM!! KILL WHELK !!

Oop, back to Blue’s pov

“MURDERED” Noah :(

“REMEMBERED” WHAT IF I SOBBED !! WHAT IF I BROKE DOWN AND CRIED !!

Chapter 45

Whelk is so annoying I need him gone

Oh my god

The ritual doesn’t work if it’s just murder??? So it just wouldn’t work at all if Whelk did it :0

What’s up with Neeve’s eyes bro

WHAT

WHERE’D NEEVE GO

UH OH

ADAM GET OUT OF THE PENTAGRAM

“I sacrifice myself.” ADAM NO

HEY??? WHAT

Chapter 46

“Was I so awful?” NOO GANSEY IT WASNT YOUR FAULT :(

White horned beasts 😭?? Literally what is happening

Are they unicorns though this is important 👀

Oop they’re in the vision tree

WHAT

Chapter 47

Gansey actually saw the same vision this time omg

Personally I think that it’s a good thing that Whelk is dead. That’s just me though personally I think it’s incredibly beneficial actually

THE TREES

GLENDOWER??

Chapter 48

Is this an epilogue??

It seems like it

Ok so Neeve just straight up despawned bc of the mirrors

Noah :( he probably misses his family so badly :(((

“He’s sorry for drinking your birthday schnapps” what if I cried

OH THEY DUG HIM UP

NOAHHH MY BOY HES BACK

Ronan?

“I guess now would be a good time to tell you, I took Chainsaw out of my dreams.” I WAS RIGHT!!!

BUT WHY ARE YOU ONLY MENTIONING THIS NOW

Good God. I have so many thoughts. This book was so fun to read I can’t wait for the next ones :D !! I’m gonna take a bit of a break before I read the next one though. Just a heads up, I probably won’t live-blog the next books like I did with this one, but I will post my thoughts occasionally (just not as much). Anyways, Live Laugh Love Noah Czerny🙏

[gooopy]

HIIIII GOOPY HIIIIIIII i have to know its urgent nightmare, wound, and / or desire for scully .pick and chose whichever you want to do i love bias and favoritism and cherry picking

YAYYYYY TYYYYY I LOVEEEE QUESTIONS I LIKEEE THEMMMM <33333 THANK YOU MY WONDEROUS FRIEND I KISS YOU ON YOUR HEAD AND GRIN JOYOUSLY.....

for nightmare, scully has nightmares pretty regularly. He doesnt cry out or anything when he has them though, his pa did sometimes though. He assumes everyone has horrible dreams amd just dont talk about em. In his dreams hes hurting something. Hes in his butcher shop with his apron and its simultaneously gasping for air in an impossibly large stewpot and its also under his knife, squirming. Hes in the middle of the world and things keep changing, and he sits back in a reclining chair that smells like piss and smoke and he eats his soup and it melts right through his body. Sometimes he wakes up there, but if hes been drinking he tends to throw up in the dream and wake up scrambling to the bathroom to throw up too. He has this dream at least once a week, though sometimes things change here snd there. Sometimes the soup turns into hair in his mouth, sometimes the thing hes hurting bites back. It dont bother him too much.

Wound: if theres one thing scullys good at, its taking abuse. He can take a punch. He can take an insult like nothing. Hes set his own bones and one time, under instruction from his boss at the butcher shop, stitched himself up. Emotionally hes pretty wounded too, though those wounds have been left to fester and heal wrong and crooked beneath the skin. The worst physical hurt hes ever taken was probably a fight he was in at some point. Probably outnumbered, head bashed against the ground and kicked in the stomach, cracked a few ribs. Hes damn resiliant though, stayed home and healed slowly but surely. Sometimes if he laughs too hard he feels something click in his chest, but he doesnt go around laughin too hard anyhow so its fine.

Desire: ouuu interesting question.... i think if you asked scully this he would say something like 'i could go for a cold beer' but really, i think most desires been beat out of him. He knows hes just gonna be workin at the butchershop his whole life, hes gonna die in the same town he was born in. Probably no kids, thats alright. Maybe get an apprentice of his own. But he doesnt really desire much, he stopped wanting things when he realized he wasnt getting them. Maybe a new oven. One'a them fancy ones, one that stays the twmperature he sets it and can be left unattended. Thatd be nice, he thinks.

[yuukei-yikes]

Haruka's cringe compilation also includes him seeing Ene, probably thinking she looks very pretty, but instead of rekindling his high school romance he's living through the worst adaptation of "new phone who dis" ever conceived by man or snake

LMAOOO please and in that point in time haruka also technically spent a lot of time watching konoha try to get hibiya and hiyori out of the timeloop for god knows how long. we dont talk abt this enough. haruka can see everything konoha sees so like... erm. bitch also saw these kids getting killed over and over. lol! (descent into insanity complete as i think abt haruka and hibihiyo dynamic post str)

so like. last haruka saw of takane was her dead body, he had no reason to NOT think she wasn't in a similar state as him. like in some limbo place. bc tbh does haruka even know where he is... and from watching everything thru konoha he might know as much as kenjirou being a danger but that's it. cuz we don't know if he ever explicitly did anything to reveal in front of konoha that he is not Really kenjirou. ofc there are the hcs that the people inside the daze move freely and can see each other but personally i never interpreted it like this. i like the hc theyre all alone bc makes for better post str angst and i like the idea that ayano CAN do this but doesn't because she is too upset she could not save haruka and takane and is too ashamed to face haruka. and also something something self punishment i dont deserve to hang out with my friend and receive updates from what he can see with awakening eyes (but doesnt stop to think it'd be nice for haruka to have someone). i think ayano probably shows up to haruka at least once Largely based on his line in the eighth novel when she appears. he says "she was always unannounced" or something like that and yeah maybe he meant back then when they were alive ayano had always been kind of sudden and unexpected idk lol but i like to interpret it as in ayano suddenly showing up in haruka's daze like. hi. (cries a lil bit then immediately leaves)

ERM. SORRY I GOT SIDETRACKED. LIKE ALWAYS. i think haruka Knows where he is bc ayano told him, but it's also so appealing to me that he's just confused the whole 2 years (plus the 10 years it feels he's watching hibiya and hiyori die) cuz. heh. angst. but yeah i think he'd know but not much (until konoha meets the dan yknow)

ANYWAYS YEAH my point was he just went through all that, been alone for 2 years plus all the time worth in the hibihiyo timeloop and finally. HE GETS TO SEE TAKANE. except he is not really himself and konoha is just making her freak out and cry and haruka's just having a mental breakdown bc he's been in this place for so damn long where he cant feel tired or sleep or eat and he is just laying there in a room perfectly designed to fit his worst nightmare like he is by all means dead but alive enough to be tortured like this lolllll and now he gets to see the person he's been begging to see all this time like YOU KNOW in the third novel the first konohas state of the world chapter he says "if i had a final wish i would reach out to that girl who used to yell at me all the time" (insanity) like i truly think the i want to see you takane bit from the anime is from there. anyways. the fact that line happens while konoha is actively trying to stop the timeloop for hibiya and hiyori AUGGHH

um. yeah he gets to see her again. but all his other self is doing is making her cry lmaooo

but also i think haruka is rly touched that takane refuses to see konoha as him and calls him a fake LOL bc haruka hates konoha bc it acts so much like him, clueless to those around him and just being a burden but takane refuses to see it as haruka because it's NOT haruka like she knew immediately it wasn't him. and maybe from takane's pov its just her in denial of haruka having his memories erased but still she was right, it wasnt haruka in his body. and i think he would be so touched abt this (which is why he's so desperate for her company post str not only for obvious reasons like he loves takane and he was alone for god knows how long inside the daze but ALSO BECAUSE.. everyone else became great friends with konoha and he feels so bad replacing it and fears the dan resents him hehehehehfhejdjjdjfiekdkoeoeo

[saturnalmoss]

I have completed Dracula. I really enjoyed reading it. I've liked adaptions but i do like the book more, for all it's issues. It's many, many, many issues.

While i was reading, I was thinking about the '92 Dracula movie bc I think I'd seen it the most recently. Like, i did enjoy that movie but gonna be honest i didn't like any of the characters. I was a bit reticent to read dracula bc of that. But it turned out i only dislike Seward! He's a good character but holy moly Seward please place yourself in a coffin and put that coffin in a hole and cover that hole in cement. Ur a fine victorian man i bet you can do it.

I loved Lucy and i it was such a sad part when she died. I loved renfield which i wasnt expecting bc i have understandable issues with the way mental illness is written by very nearly anyone. But like?? I just felt a lot of compassion for a guy who Seward's decided to keep as a fucking pet and then Dracula's decided to fuck with and he was trying SO hard when he couldn't communicate. Poor guy. I loved Jonathan and it was super enjoyable how wife-guy he is and i am not familiar with gender stereotypes of the nineteen hundreds but?? I don't know i feel like he bucked em a bit? Soft boy?? Whatever a soft boy was then?

Mina and Lucy, so sweet and the part where Mina wrote her just after she died, very very sad! Mina and Jonathan, absolutely adorable. Precious. The heteros are ok. Mina is just so good and damn I'm not sure they would have got Dracula without her around. Like, do not mean the psychic powers. They would have had an easier time w dracula if they had a Hale and Healthy Mina. It was truly the worst idea to keep her out of the loop.

Victorian Standards were the real villain in this book. Every time they got too victorian shit starts going down hill. Jonathan too xenophobic and superior feeling at the start to heed warnings? Welp now he's snacula. All the characters at the start refusing or just not considering telling the house hold staff and MOM what needs to be left for Lucy's medical care? TWICE? welp Lucy is snacula. Can't bring yourself to do a damn thing for renfield because he's *~*insane*~*? Mina: snacula. Renfield: dead (snacula status unknown).

Seward, at any point, is too victorian a man. Gosh. Go crawl in a ditch.

Ah i really loved van Helsing. He was just, so genuinely full of love and kindness. I feel like i haven't seen a character like that in a while, much less a mentor character or a character that isn't killed to show how unattainable that world view is. He probably needs to communicate a little earlier with people, but i get it. it's hard to explain there's a dracula on the loose.

I would have enjoyed having some written from Quincey and Arthur, but i get they might not have had anything to add to the story. It just felt like, with Quincey dying at the end, that they wanted a tragic sacrifice to finish the dracula but couldn't bear to use one of the liked main characters?? I d k

My take away is that all the dracula adaptations I've seen, which I'm defining by 'having dracula characters', have done them all dirty. Everyone. Even Dracula? I don't know. Maybe they gave him a cooler end-fight i guess. It feels like, they take a story that already had a serious issue thinking of women as human and made it WORSE TOWARDS THE WOMEN. how??

The other issues, about the same (bad).

Then '92 dracula like, what if dracula was acting exactly the same, but mina was into it? Mina ('92): ah, this man assaulted and murdered by best friend. I will fuck him. It's is true love.

(this is why i didn't like mina in the movie)

But now i see that, some how, they have done injustice to every one of the characters. Fascinating.

Was happy to hear that Seward and Arthur happily married at the end. Good for them.

[johnmalevolent]

monthly scheduled insanity (malevolent lb under the cut)

HI JOHN

:(

yeah :(

:(

HI JOHN

HI JOHNNNNNNNNN

:((((((((

then who :(

not the intention but the effect :(

anjg vendor shopee lg live

ywd lah nnt aja CO nya

yeah babe dont give up youre the protag haha..

ARTHUR?

oh wait.

will it be the dark world arc we didnt predict

wait i almost forgot about the title. the deal

what's the deal .

ARTHU

who

the butcher cant have killed daniel that quick

WHOSE?

SCRATCH???

WHAT

D:

NO!!!

not if you help, right scratch

im sorry im kinda distracted over arthur begging. ahem.

NO.........

NO............................

ok now why'd he say enjoy. now i dont feel as alarmed for arthur

oh ok so not arthur

FUCKKKKKKKK WAIT

this eps might not tell us about john's deal but damn

it wasnt a choice john wanted to make either

i dont like that the butcher's theme is playing

FUCK ARTHUR

nyebrang noleh dulu

well john. speaking that frome experience?

arthur to you is that important and kayne used that to manipulate you?

arthur you're whispering rly loudly

😭 gdi daniel

HUH

no

oh

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh fuck

no.

HESYRUNNI GET

runingn

oh

oscar .

JOHN YOU FORGET

HEY???

OH MY GOD

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

JOHN.

FUCK

TWO THINGS AT A TIME

THATS TOO MUCH

HELLO

BCS JOHN FORGOT DANIEL'S FACE????????

HUH

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

if john ends up forgetting colin's face too..

oscar 🥺

what

what

what

what

what

what

what

JOHN. i dont trust you rn.

john :(

ack

aaack

ack ack ack

haha surprise it's parker yang <3

JOHN :(

he's colins. isnt he

oh

ohhhh ok

oh

i forgot arthur is still a fugitive

are you sure this is the right decision orthr..

THIS IS ALL GOING TO SMOOTHLY.

im worried

this isnt the go smoothly podcast

yeah. thats what i thought

yeah he's in the ward

thats what i thought.

fuck

fuck fuck fuck.

the thing is what if he's wrong

sure sure similarity and all but what if reverse psychology

like let's just say the butcher has watched that one gintama episode before and thought of another idea arthur couldn't predict

oh

he's there

NO

ooooh hit a nerve

lmao colins got assigned the worst guy to kill

arthur voice im not like other girls i dont die when im killed

love john peer reviewing arthur's insults

OH FUCK THE DADDY ISSUE

GOOD DOG

is that what made him fail

NOEL HURRY THE FUCK Up

huh

was it seven

NOEEEEEL

alhamdulillah

yay noel

i hear ppl clapping 😭

SON

HIS SON

daniel :(

HE SAID IT

john :(

private eye!! he said the thing!!!

"darlin" reminds me of kayne ☺️

might be a chance john forgets ab kayne's face ☺️

shuffled of this MORTAL COIL?

huh.

huh.

huh.

reminds me a lot of.

huh.

KNOW?

parker yang?

PARKER YANG?

IM GONNA FUCKING KMS

PARKER YANG???

ohhhhh

parker is just the mutual friend

i mean yeah ofc i knew that haha lol

good episode. love that ending

[inutaffy]

🧍🧍🧍

im not sorry. im pulling up a chair and you will be stuck here for a millennia

SO. NUMBER 1. “do you know why you’re leader of this team?” “well uh yeah. bc i asked to be? u said it wasnt bc of my skills.” THIS RIGHT THE FUCK HERE. OKAY. BITCH.

LEO ALREADY HAD SO MANY DOUBTS ABT BEING LEADER MAN ITS AWFUL. LIKE. FUCK. and this isnt to say that leo is like confident in his abilities bc HE IS. HE REALLY IS HE KNOWS HE’S GOOD WHEN HE NEEDS TO BE but like that doesn’t immediately get rid of the feelings of inadequacy, ESPECIALLY after he got beat down by shredder in s2 and the earth got destroyed in s3

to him, he’s just leader bc he asked to be, nothing special abt it. its not bc he’s the smartest or the strongest or fastest. he just asked and splinter said lmao sure why not (LISTEN I KNOW THAT THAT WASNT REALLY SPLINTERS REASONING. leo was always gonna end up as leader bc he IS GOOD AT IT. he knows how to lead n he’s inspiring or whatever but he doesnt say this to leo until later) so to him there’s NOTHING STOPPING HIM FROM BEING REPLACED IF BE SCREWS UP ONE TO MANY TIMES. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? IT LITERALLY MAKES EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE. like the shift in how he views leadership after s1. how he CONSTANTLY sacrifices himself for the cause bc WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THINGS SPIRAL OUT OF HIS CONTROL?? just. dude. i fucking hate this. he sacrifices himself at any minor inconvenience (not really but 😐) and i hate that it makes since. he is only leader bc he asked, there isnt some special skill keeping him in this position (THERE IS. the others would be soo screwed if he wasnt leader. they’d make it obviously but DAMN) so he’s easily replaceable, and if something goes wrong to the point where he needs to REALLY get his shit together and DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT, HE SACRIFICES HIMSELF. BC WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO. he does it when they had to destroy the technodrome, he does it when he goes to fight shredder alone, he does it when they needed to get that black hole generator piece from that one lady, and he does it when trying to destroy the triceraton mothership. its the worst thing in the whole fucking world

number 2. “i knew that one day you would grow up to be the leader of this team, and when I pass on to be like a father as well.” OUGH. this hurts me so much. this is damn near the center of a good chunk of raph and leo’s fighting. not ALL of it obviously bc they’ve got their own stuff to work out but this definitely plays a part bc above all he wants leo to be HIS BROTHER. not his dad. NEVER HIS DAD. leo IS NOT their fucking dad and when he tries to act all high and mighty it IRRITATES HIM. WHICH IS SO VALID BC WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE. STOP. SERIOUSLY. WHO ARE YOU. yk? like fuck. he doesnt want leo to parent them dammit. imagine your dad dies or something and then your older brother is trying to fill that gap instead of taking time to GREIVE

AND TBH. I DONT THINK SPLINTER MEANT IT LIKE THAT EITHER. splinter probably meant this in a “when i die i trust you to take care of this family and be there for each other and support each other” way. not in a SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS WND NEVER STOPS WITH GETNLE HANDS AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER IM A SURVIVOR kinda way

this gets lost in translation tho bc leo totally takes this and runs in the opposite ducking direction for a while which just

NUMBER 3. AND THEN WHEN SPLINTER OFFERS HIM SOME ADVICE/WISDOM LEO JUST. HE CLOSES HIS EYES AND SHAKES HIS HEAD AND TELLS HIM THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU ARE FINE. BC HE NEEDS THIS TO BE TRUE LIKE. ISNT THAT JUST AWFUL? you watch your dad get killed in front of you, then you go back in time and save him, only for him TO STILL DIE. that is AWFUL MAN.

“i dont get it, you’re fine father. is there something your not telling me?”

I HATE EVERYTHING. leo is dodging EVERY hint that his dad could die soon, he refuses to even entertain the idea. like at all. and its so fuckinf sad bc he is clinging to this hope that no matter what everything will work out fine just like it did before, they’re going to come out on the other side bruised but whole, and it HURTS bc that is not what happens at all. splinter is still killed right in front of them and they carry his body away and bury him and that’s it. that’s fucking it and it’s TERRIBLE.

and its not just awful bc of that its awful bc splinter is trying so hard to prepare them for this, he knows he died once, and has come close numerous times, so its gotta stick eventually right? so the least he can do is make sure his family isnt without closure yk? he can make it so that he torn from them without any warning or goodbye, without something to remember him by, so he goes and he has a moment with each of them in this season before he gets killed and it hurts me so much bc he’s trying to gently prepare them and its just. ough. OUGH. can we just take these mfckers out of situations ffs

NUMBER 4. THIS SHIT.

HIS FUCKING FACE???? AS THEH WALK AWAY???????? KILL ME NOW PLEASE???????? he literally just wants his family to be ok and theh ARENT and it hurts me so. his brothers and dad look so fucking happy too but just. OUGH. the HORRORS man the horrors are coming

anyways. timestamp 3:25am. this is just my rambling from the first few minutes and these are all the scenes from the clip i tagged u in. we haven’t even gotten to splinters death or what leads up to it yet, things are deceptively calm rn and im so scared

GO TO BED