#but compared to new he���s not as fleshed out even if he has a personality and core traits yet hes the popular one

[chaotic-mystery]

I have something for a request.

So Joel promised your father he would protect you from the Clickers and other people.

So you and Joel are walking through the forest and you start to annoy him. Because you are constantly asking how long does it take to get to the destination.

Joel had enough so he takes your virginity and your ass virginity roughly. So you shut up.

pairing: Post Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

content warnings: DARK CONTENT AHEAD, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+ only. Non-consensual that turns consensual. You are responsible for what you read. Daddy kink, rough sex, assplay if you close an eye, pet names galore (little one, pet, playtoy, baby girl, Joel refers to himself as daddy, you get the picture.) mean!Joel, Dark!Joel, choking, reader has hair long enough to pull, dirty talk, unprotected p in v, dacryphilia, pull out game strong, this is post outbreak but before Ellie so you know he got that stamina, Joel takes your virginity. LET ME KNOW IF I'VE MISSED ANYTHING. ||word count: 1.9k || follow @chaoticnotifs so you don't miss anything!||

authors note: This is so out of my normal and honestly I hope I did it justice! I know this isn't everyone's thing and that's okay! I personally pictured game Joel but that's just my preference. As always I love you all 🖤

“Will you please shut the fuck up?! All that goddamn talkin’ you’re doin, you’re gonna get us killed, Jesus Christ.” Joel barked as he turned on his heel, his rifle in hand. Joel promised your dad to keep you safe and while he has for a few years, it hasn’t been the easiest thing to do. You talked way too much for Joel’s liking but a promise was a promise.

“I’m just asking how much longer until we get to the tower…fuck me.” You grumble, annoyed at him for being so moody today. You were sweaty and tired, wanting to go back to the QZ in your little apartment you shared with Joel. He was over all your bullshit for today, sick of your smartass mouth just running and running without any repercussions.

“What’d you say t’me, little girl?��� He snaps, the rifle falling to his side as his hand wraps around your throat and he pushes you into a tree trunk. The bark was hard against your back and scratched you, but it was nothing compared to the feeling you were having on your windpipe.

“N-nothing, Joel- nothing!” The words barely choked out of you, just enough for him to hear you beg.

“All you’ve been doin’ since we’ve been out here is talkin’ your pretty head off. What did I tell ya not even five minutes ago? Use that big girl voice since you wanna be big and bad.” Joels lips ghosted over the shell of your ear before he presses a rough sloppy kiss on your cheek. This was all so sudden, so new to you. No one has ever touched you like this, especially an older man like Joel. He was aggressive and mean, didn’t care about the fact his grip on your throat was tightening. He wasn’t in the mood to ask if any of this was okay with you, where his hands were quickly traveling to, none of it. Joel wanted to take what he wanted from you without you running your mouth.

A deep grumble erupts from Joel against your face, another sloppy kiss on your cheek while his tongue licks against your flesh. “Say it again, now.”

“I was just asking if we were close to the tower and-d that I was s-sorry-y!” You cried out, squirming under his touch trying to free yourself. With your back squished against the tree, there was nowhere to go. All you could do was plead and beg for him to let go and leave you be.

“What was that last part you’re leavin’ out, sweetheart?” The smirk on his face is so present in his tone you don’t even need to look at him. Joel’s freehand comes up your side, brushing against the bare skin peaking above your jeans. He could feel you trembling with fear and excitement. Joel knew you were still a virgin, he never let you out of his sight and always took the same work shifts as you so he could keep you close.

“I-ah shit- I said fuck me but I didn’t mean it like th-” Joels hand creeps up to your jaw and grabs it roughly, squishing your cheeks together and your eyes met his.

“Don’t care how you meant it sweetheart, planned on doin’ that anyway.” His smirk never faded and he without warning rips your jeans down, your panties tangled in them as the fabric bunches around your knees. The whimper that escaped your lips didn’t phase Joel as his hands wandered up your thighs to your slick covered cunt.

The guttural groan he let out rattled through your bones enough to make a chill run down your spine.

“Fuck are you so wet for, huh little one? Couldn’t control yourself could ya? Probably love the idea of being my playtoy while I take what I want and you’re beggin’ me to quit..but you know daddy won’t do that.” With his hand covering your mouth and squeezing tightly, your pleads were so muffled he could barely make out what you were saying.

Joel unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants to his ankles before he grabs you by the back of your neck and spins you around, forcing you against the tree once more as his hand pushes against the small of your back to make you arch for him. His hand reaches around your hips to dip down between your folds, rubbing harshly on your clit as the head of his cock nudged against your ass cheek.

You tried everything to pry his hand away from your mouth but he only squeezed tighter, growling at your attempts. “Might as well give up now, it’ll go over a lot better for you if you quit fightin’ me, sweet girl.” He mutters in your ear as he starts to ram his cock inside your entrance. He doesn’t let you get adjusted to him at all and the tears fall immediately down your cheeks. You cry out in pain, shoving his hips away from you but he doesn’t stumble back at all.

“Joel ple-ase it h-hurts” you murmur against his palm and he just chuckles as he begins to thrust inside you.

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth before I fill it for you, am I clear? S’okay, you’re just a little virgin, don’t know what you like. I’ll teach you what you like, baby; trust me.” He scolded. It felt as if you were being shredded and ripped apart from the inside out with the way he was carving away at you.

The only manageable response you gave him was a distressed “yes d-addy” which was just enough to make his head toss back while his hips slam into yours so harshly, the faint slapping of your skins echoed around you.

He lets go of the grip he has on your mouth, a string of saliva following from your lips to his palm and he grabs onto your shoulders to keep himself steady. Joel doesn’t dare let you see how much he’s enjoying this; ruining you and taking every bit of last innocence you had. His jaw was clenched tightly to keep his grunts at bay but it was still audible how much he loved feeling you clench around him so tightly, hugging his cock for dear life. Soon enough your pain turned to pleasure and you were fucked out of your mind, gripping onto the tree truck and begging for him not to stop as the pressure built up in your tummy.

“I knew you’d be a tight little virgin but damn sweetheart..” he leans in close and his hand finds its way around your throat once more, yanking you against him, “..you’re gonna be so dickdumb by the time I’m through with you-ughh- you’ll be beggin’ for me to fill you full every goddamn second you’re awake.” Joel’s other hand cups your tit through your thin shirt, kneading away mercilessly as your nipples get stiffer against your bra.

“J-joel please..I..I’m gonna come..” you whine out, body trembling and making it harder to stand up on your wobbling legs. Suddenly your head is being yanked backwards by your hair and Joel’s lustful eyes meet yours, his jaw still clenched tightly.

“Don’t you dare come until I say so. Be a good pet for daddy, mkay? Stay jus’ like that f’me, right there. Oh fuck, baby..” He stops thrusting long enough to put you down on the ground and him right behind you, shoving your face into the dirt with your ass in the air. In no time he finds his rhythm again and gives your ass a firm smack with a chuckle following behind it.

Joel slips the tip of his thumb in his mouth, covering it in spit before he traces over your asshole and goes inside you, groaning loudly as he can feel his cock pumping in and out of you just from having his thumb in your ass.

It’s taking every ounce of control not to come on his cock and disappoint him even more than you already have tonight. With your legs squeezed together as hard as you can, it wasn’t enough to keep your mind off of having the best orgasm you have ever had.

Sure, you touched yourself all the time while Joel was asleep in the next room over back in the apartment, squirming and whimpering like a kitten as your mind wandered to Joel and ran images over your eyes that just made it so easy to come for yourself. This however was not what you imagined Joel would be like. You imagined he’d be sweet, wanting to make your first time feel special and all that stuff you watched in movies before the outbreak. He was none of that.

“You want me to break you in two and just make your world crumble, huh? You filthy little one. You’re my toy now, no one can save you from me.” He spat as his thrusts got sloppy and his grip on your hips got tighter, nails digging into your flesh.

With your body fighting itself to not orgasm, your tears spilled out of your eyes once more, breaths so deep you squeak every time you inhale.

“Cry all you want, brat. They don’t mean shit t’me.”

“Daddy, ple-ease let me come-oh, fuckkk- I- I can’t hold off m-much longer, plea-se I’ll be good, pleaseee.” Trying to speak through gritted teeth, you begged and pleaded trying to reason with him so you could finally release.

“Come on then, let that fuckin’ pussy come all over me. Let me feel what it's like to have a virgin fall apart on my cock and beg me not to fill them up.”

The evil tone was enough to send you reeling and your eyes rolled back tightly as you finally released that pressure you had to put off.

“What a good fuckin’ pet you are for Daddy. That’s ittt.” He purrs, slamming into your hips as he panted loudly.

Your body felt numb and you were still seeing stars, your ears ringing and his moans were so muffled you couldn’t do anything but jolt as the waves of your orgasm washes over you. Soon enough he rips is cock out of your entrance and you feel empty, already missing him inside you.

Joel grunts and cusses loudly as he paints a pretty picture on your asscheek with his cum.

You fall to your side and catch your breath while Joel goes soft in his hand, watching you as he tries to manage his own breathing.

“Maybe next time you’ll listen to me, won’t you baby?”

[dysfunctional-doodle]

Just watched Mutant Mayhem, here are my thoughts!

Overall: Yes, very good I suggest everyone watch it when they can or I will break your knees :)

I’m going to end up rambling far too much unless I split this properly, so I’m going to break it down into sections starting from what I believe is most important in a movie.

This post is still going to be a mess ngl

Story: 8/10

The story is actually very good! It was paced very well and ended in a very touching way. No character interactions or plot beats felt forced or cliché, and no forced identity politics which is always a plus.

The action scenes - of course they were amazing. Paired with the stellar animation, each action scene was brilliantly directed and choreographed. The start shows the turtles’ origin story is similar to most of the iterations with its own unique factors - in this case the ooze was created by Baxter Stockman.

The conflict of the plot was well written, the final act was great and ends with a hopeful and satisfying ending (there is a mid credit scene that teases something big for the series though!).

If it’s any consolation, it’s also very friendly to new fans of TMNT - I went with someone who has not seen any TMNT media before and they really liked it and understood it easily.

Characters: 9/10

Needless to say, all the characters were very well done. Despite its run time and large cast, each one feels grounded with their own unique personality.

For starters: the four main boys! They were done brilliantly - Mikey being hopeful and optimistic whilst naturally being empathetic, Raph channeling chaotic good energy with his iconic rage personality not being over the top, Donnie being a geek in the best way possible, and Leo trying to be a good leader and anxious, always looking out for his brothers but not a complete teachers pet. All very likeable, and I can’t wait to see them in the series!

Splinter: probably the best since 2003! Openly caring of his sons and worries a great deal about how humans will perceive them. Has his own trauma from his experience with humans so he tries to protect his sons by isolating them completely, but eventually realises that his own view of humans should not affect his son’s happiness and lets them fulfil their dream of trying to be accepted by humans even if he will never like humanity himself. Peak character development, 10/10.

Villain/s: all of them felt fleshed out and I look forward to seeing them in the series! Posed their own genuine threats with varying levels of morals. Again, all were fleshed out quite well and played a role in the story.

April: honestly, she didn’t have too much in it compared to the others but does play a key role in the final act and the ending itself. An interesting iteration of April, curious to see more of her.

Animation: 10000000/10

It was brilliant. What else can I say? Though inspired by Spider-verse it is its own style which is amazing to look at. It thrives in action scenes and landscapes. Another groundbreaking style that I hope to see influence others.

Music: 8/10

It slaps. Almost all of them I will be playing for the next week or so. The soundtracks really set the mood beautifully, especially the sombre track. Paired with the animation - ugh - chefs kiss

Overall Rating: 8/10

I am usually very very harsh with films, so for me to rate anything above a seven is basically unheard of. Probably my favourite movie of 2023, and my favourite TMNT movie. 2003 only just beats it overall but that’s mostly because I’ve known it for longer - who knows, a few more rewatches and it might overtake.

[signedeclipse]

Y'know what? Those 'human S/O wanna find out how human flesh tastes like' are quite interesting. Can I request same for Muzan, Susamaru and (if you write about her) Spider Sister?

Muzan

Honestly as strong as he is, no one rivals him, so he rarely has to eat anyone and often keeps to himself

Around you, it's even rare to see him kill or harm another person unless it came down to your safety, which for someone who is more than happy to remove another annoying passerby on any given day, its extremely rare

But of course his own choices don't reflect the other demons he might have around you, especially the upper or lower ranks that had enough control to keep from attacking his s/o

Douma was the worst for it, he always carried a snack to nibble on, and he frequented Muzan more than most

He had offered you some numerous times, but would be quickly scolded and often harmed by Muzan

But part of you wondered what it would be like ot be a demon, to be biting into the flesh of a human, what it tasted like

So during one meeting with several higher ranks, when he offered it and Muzan had yet to step in, you reached out to take the offer

Talk about all eyes on you

It was slightly warm, blood was soaking your hand until it was dripping to the floor and nothing was more horrifying than the three highest upper moons staring at you, hell, even Kokushibo

You ate the whole piece, which was reminiscent of a chewy gusher, and swallowed

Yeah, no, it was disgusting and you were tearing up, but you gave a thumbs up to get everyone from staring at you

Muzan comes up with an excuse for Douma to keep it from you now, but he is still curious why you'd lie about liking it to a bunch of people who likely wouldn't have cared

Susamaru

It's not that she doesn't have manners, but if you are going to be her s/o you need to be able to handle her food at the table, too

Eats with you all the time, and you've gotten some splashes of blood in whatever it is you are eating before

First you'd lose your appetite, then you'd make yourself something new, eventually you'd just separate that piece of food or toss it

But with enough time you'd just keep chewing, because really, it's annoying to lose your favourites over something so simple

That wasn't where it ended, however, because after enough of a taste of blood, you found yourself craving it from time to time, almost as if it were an unspoken seasoning that added just the right amount of iron

Susamaru was more than happy to let you bottle some up and add it to your next dish, a blood broth stew, mixed with wine so the colour wouldn't make you too nauseous

Finds her s/o so cool compared to others, but she was almost worried you would like it

Of course, being a demon was everything to her, but she doesn't want you to get that close to being one if she can help it, because you'd likely never meet in missions, or get in trouble for talking too much

Very thankful if you don't enjoy it much, because it means it can stop then and there

She made an extra meal just in case, so you won't go hungry

Authors Note - Its not in my rules but in my F.A.Q I mention that I only write named characters! But thank you for making sure!! I really liked the human flesh ask so I was super excited to get to it again <3

[pyxes]

BUCKLE UP FEW FOLLOWERS/MUTUALS WHO INTERACT WITH MY POST... because right now is a good time for me to tell you all the tale of Idaho’s cannibalism law and the still very much relevant christian-fascist fear of anything that goes outside their bubble.

Idaho House code 18-5003 is perhaps my favorite part of history because it’s one of the most unknown but most jarring example of moral panic and is comparable to what we see today with Q-Anon, MAGA, and even general republican politics. I am going to try to keep this as short as possible but that might be a hard for me (post writing warning this is like...super long but also super cool and interesting). Like I said, I am completely entrenched in this part of history so I may go off rail a couple times.

To preface, Idaho is the only state in the union that explicitly has a law outlawing cannibalism. There is nothing like it in any other state which, when hearing this, people are generally shocked. The law states:

18-5003.  CANNIBALISM DEFINED — PUNISHMENT. (1) Any person who wilfully [sic] ingests the flesh or blood of a human being is guilty of cannibalism. 

(2)  It shall be an affirmative defense to a violation of the provisions of this section that the action was taken under extreme life-threatening conditions as the only apparent means of survival. 

(3)  Cannibalism is punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not exceeding fourteen (14) years.

One would expect this to be cause by some crazed cannibalistic maniac but no. In 1990, it was caused by an orchestrated nationwide fear that “satanist” (use context clues on who was labeled as such) would kidnap children-specifically white, Protestant, blue eyed, blonde hair, girls-who would then be sacrificed. We know this now as a product of the Satanic Panic of the 80's-90's. But where does the Satanic Panic and fear for our little Suzy’s life come from????

Well with all terrible things in contemporary American history the vast majority of this goes back to gross, disgusting, turkey-neck Reagan. I know. Yuck. Don’t have to tell me twice. But to understand more we have to go back a little further to the Vietnam Era and the Jesus Freak Movement.

The fundamental idea of the Jesus Freak Movement was to break away from the period typical charismatic Protestantism. The "Freaks" were generally peaceful but a few bad seeds lit the fuse for what would become the early aughts of the Satanic Panic. Two of the most notable are The Manson Family and Jim Jones' Jonestown, both of which used New-Age Christianity to further their dark self-fulfilling prophecies. Because of this, anti-cult organizations began to form and would label anyone with differing opinions from, again, charismatic-fundi Protestantism, as "devil worshippers". These organizations really did nothing to help victims, nor did they care, they only served a purpose to yap and uphold Christian Morality.

Okay, so with that out of the way, it's time to talk about the man who unfortunately survived a gunshot, Ronald Reagan. Even with the recent assassination attempt, Reagan was dropping in the 1882 mid-term polls. He was not a good man but he was a good grifter, like what we have currently been witnessing with Donald Trump. Seeing that he needed to align with something he sought refuge in the growing Religious Right movement, even though he was the first president to not attend church while in the whitehouse. His “griftey-ness” seemed genuine to some, especially Protestant Evangelical America. This is because of three calculated speeches at the National Religious Broadcast, the National Prayer Breakfast, and the National Association of American Evangelicals. These speeches would regain confidence in Reagan and would give way to a new political group to rise, the Moral Majority.  

After this alignment with the Religious Right, Reagan was to the average American W.A.S.P (White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant) as John F. Kenndey was to the average Irish American Catholic. And if you have ever met and old Irish Catholic lady, you know they SALIVATED at the meer image of sexy John EVEN before he was president. Before Reagan, the Moral Majority was a right-wing movement whose relevance could be compared to a child putting their fingers in their ears and going “la-la-la”. The movement was founded by known anti-semite, Teletubby hating, sexual abuse defending, televangelist, Jerry Laymon Falwell Sr in the late 1970's. The Moral Majority was a loud but ignored group until Falwell’s association with Ronald Reagan. 

Falwell saw how moldable Reagan was and would personally invite him to speak at the National Religious Broadcaster Conference of 1982 previously discussed. He would use Ronald Reagan as a tool to further legislation that made his world more comfortable for him. SOUND FAMILIAR???? The moral majority had one mission and that was to create a ginormous red voting block that upheld conservative Christian ideals. These ideals really have not changed much from today with them focusing on a “traditional”, nuclear, bible abiding family. Traditional meaning strict heterosexual gender roles with males at the helm that we all know and are disturbed by.

One aspect of the Falwell’s Protestant Christianity, also referred to as charismatic Protestantism, is the idea of eschatology. While yes, all Abrahamic religions believe in eschatology, Falwell’s version was much more extreme. Instead of pondering of what happens with one's soul after they die, Charismatic Christianity cranks an imaginary biblical dial up to its max setting. Anyone who did not follow their beliefs were sinners and were bound to go to hell. It was, and still is, quite easy to be persuaded by the Devil, some examples include being gay, trans, Jewish, Muslim, a democrat, not want children, not tithing, playing Dungeons and Dragons, wearing pants if you are a woman, listen to secular music, breathe wrong... the list goes on. All things that deviated from the views of the growing Moral Majority turned into a calculated tabloid sensation that created a real time imaginary world that only served to push their political agenda.

Many of the tabloids were orchestrated in a way that disrupted the white suburban lifestyle institutionalized by the “White flight” of the 1960’s. A good chunk of these rumors was formulated via fear to persuade blue collar workers of the growing divide between them and those who wish to push a liberal agenda. The component of Protestant blue collar workers is important because it is distortional composed of economically stressed people who still held on to traditional American cultural values which affirmed the theology of the Moral Majority. This is still relevant today, I mean look at the voting stats in this years election. Or I don't know listen to you weird uncle who gets his checks garnished talk about how he voted for trump because of "taxes".

There are more blue-collar workers in the nation than televangelist, but the televangelist still persuaded the working class with the teachings of the prosperity gospel because that is the goal of their game. Fear provokes rumors and that was the plan to control the general population at the time. Rumors are created to both satisfy the need to reduce uncertainty and provoke more anxiety. It did not help that at the core of these rumors all held shared beliefs between thousands of people who share the stress of demoralization fronted by Satan.

Besides the views held by the religious right, a book would come out in 1980 that would confirm all the mass rumors surrounding satanic ritual abuse. Now discredited and laughed at, Michelle Remembers is the book that conservative America needed in terms of mass satanic cult confirmation bias. The book was written by “recovered-memory” therapist Lawrence Pazder and details the not-so-true story of his patient and later wife, Michelle Smith. Although the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act was not around at the time the book is straight HIPAA violation after violation. The book is filled with Smith’s accounts of being tortured, sexually abused, and witnessing human sacrifices that she was sometimes forced to be a part of. One of the books many covers plays into the fear of the kidnapped blond-hair blue-eyed child previously discussed, the child is holding a doll surrounded by candles with the eyes of an evil satanist looking down at her ready to sacrifice and consumer her at any given moment. 

Smith’s story set shockwaves and inspired another “victim” of satanic ritual abuse to come forward named Laurel Rose Wilson with her book Satan’s Underground. The two would go on and appear on the Oprah Winfrey show and speak their “truth” and have it confirmed on nationally syndicated television furthering the fears of many. Although both books have been disproven and scrutinized by investigators both books sent a shockwave throughout the globe, with Michelle Remembers being known as the “whistle-blower” book. One of my favorite reviews regarding the book is “Five Baphomet pentagrams for originality and five more for hilarity.” Looking through the lens of today it is easy to call out the embellishments and laugh at Smith and Pazder’s elaborate trolling, but back then this book was truly groundbreaking and instilled more fears in Christian America. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR ARE WE MAKING CONNECTIONS YET! I mean think of all the brain dead idiots on youtube still claiming to be a victim of satanic ritual abuse.

At this point the Satanic panic has surpassed cult rumors and became a real threat to once secure neighborhoods. Parents began to fear for their children's safety when sending them to school, nowhere was safe from the evil grasp of Satanist. One event regarding this would be a product of the rumors and be the catalyst that ceased the Satanic Panic of the 80’s and 90’s. This event is known as the McMartin Preschool Trials which would later become the longest and most expensive series of criminal trials in American history. The story of the trail starts with Judy Johnson claiming her son was sexually molested by McMartin Preschool employee Ray Buckey. Ray Buckey was soon arrested, and a letter was sent out to the about 200 parents who sent their children to the preschool detailing the alleged acts perpetrated by Buckey.

Quickly receiving this letter, the number of children abused by Buckey reached 360. During the investigation claims were getting muddy with Buckey having an array of costumes, branding children, creating child sexual abuse material and dispersing it to others, slaughtering animals, and any other satanic ritual abuse activity. Buckey was not the only one charged in the case, his mother, sister, as well as several other employees were charged with the same counts as well. All together they had 208 counts of abuse that were a product of cult practices. There were even claims of underground tunnels made to traffic children. Eventually it would come out the children were being coached by investigators to make false claims in regard to what happened at the preschool. In the end all charges but 12 were dropped and the preschool was demolished which can serve as a metaphor for the panic in general. Something created out of falsehoods only to be destroyed by factual evidence based. 

Do I believe the Buckey and others involved were abusing children in the name of Satanic Ritual Abuse? No. But I do believe that something must have happened for a child to recount what happened, persuaded by investigators or not. What could have happened to spark such controversy could take the form of many types of abuse, it does not always need to be sexual abuse is abuse. One thing about children is that while yes, they have very active imaginations they also lack awareness of what being abused is like unless they suffered. It is not a concept they are born with so it should be a red flag to an adult when a child says something relating to being abused. Instead of focusing on the real issue of the claims being made, the parents of McMartin Preschool could not face the reality of abuse being perpetrated by a non-Satanic cult affiliated person with bad intentions. I think the idea of parents automatically blaming Satanic ritual abuse is, well to be frank, disgusting. It takes away from the reality of the situation and gives backswords credence to abuse happening inside their bubble. 

That is where the crux of this super mega long text post lies. People have always refused to acknowledge reality outside of their safety nets. When the reality of their constructed world is broken there is no other way to explain it other than fiction with the intent to blame everyone but themselves. Reading this you can not help but make comparisons to today, most notably with that of Q-Anon and Charismatic Fundamentalist. It feels like every week Q-Anon comes up with a new child-trafficking conspiracy like Pizza-gate/Wayfair-gate, turning Jill Biden's panda costume into some symbol of child abuse, thinking a trans predator is awaiting in every women's bathroom, creating child victims with drag queen story time, etc, all while turning a man (Donald Trump) into a god who has been charged numerous times with abuse of a minor along with his sex-trafficker friend (Jeffery Epstein) who certainly did not kill himself.

These hypocrites all preach the same ideas as Falwell and his Moral Majority constituents: that all those who do not follow their path are monsters out to abuse children, when in reality they do not care about the abuse of children. The state of Idaho does not care about children and is actively pushing legislation to make the lives of women and children more difficult every day. Long before the overturning of Roe v Wade, Idaho governor, chud Brad Little supported sentencing women to death for getting an abortion. Shortly after Roe v Wade was overturned, Idaho immediately put an abortion ban in place, making sure to sign “abortion trafficking” laws that would prosecute anyone who crosses state lines and then followed that by eliminating Idaho’s committee dedicated maternal deaths. Eliminating a committee who’s sole purpose was to understand maternal deaths all while OBGYN’s flee the state the to follow that up by cutting $38 million in state funds dedicated to preventing child abuse while also repeatedly killing bills that would put an end to child marriages in a state with one of the highest rates proves the Brad Little and his cronies do not give a single shit about kids. This obviously is not just an Idaho thing but this is a growing trend across the nation. They only care about ownership. They only care about furthering an agenda to keep their world theirs. Thus, they orchestrate lies to control the masses while they themselves turn them into truth. 

For the few who read this I hope you are now informed and also enjoyed this little history lesson that is doomed to repeat itself. We are all aware of the signs of what is to come but stay strong and do not fall into it. They want you to. Be vigilant and be informed.

[lilbabybutts]

Doll Review: The Sweetheart

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Sweetheart Collection is the newest release of Euphoria.Sense dolls made for their brand new Euphoria.6 AI. The stock models come in three skin tones, two sexes, and only one body type each. For a company whose slogan is “Every doll is made for you,’ it’s a considerably less diverse collection than Euphoria fans are accustomed to. Euphoria.Sense does offer their custom build services for the Sweethearts, but depending on the bells and whistles, you could be looking at prices even the most dedicated collectors would wince at. 

The software, the newest edition of the original, yet to be replicated, Euphoria AI, is capable of problem solving and performing even complex, multiple step tasks. This doll is not just an object, but a companion with an almost limitless potential to think, sense, and emote. The AI is perfectly married to the hardware with over 8 million ‘nerve endings’, a real, robust voice replicator- no recordings, and a synthetic skin so beautiful I could write poetry about it.

It’s almost easy to forget it isn’t human. 

Personality wise, the Sweetheart is happy, excitable, and affectionate. The dev team behind Euphoria.6 said in an interview that ‘loving you is the core of its personality, the thought all other thoughts stem from,’ and it shows. While it might sound like Euphoria.Sense tempting the hand of fate, so far there’s no evidence of the violent or possessive tendencies that Euphoria.3 suffered. Actually, in contrast, the Sweethearts are quite gentle and mild mannered, so much that it’s touching. In the first week, I noticed my Sweetheart looking out the window when I left for work and she was still there when I came home. 

Functionally, they perform much better in all tasks than previous models. Of course any doll can follow directions, but Sweethearts seem to have no trouble interpreting figures of speech, incomplete thoughts, or even slurred or muffled voices. They have a more natural way of speaking than most dolls, though the language still isn’t as advanced as anything Bunnysoft has been putting out for years. 

Their physique is a bit delicate compared to previous collections so if you’re looking for something to take a beating, the sweetheart isn’t it. What it lacks in durability it makes up for by far in feeling. The sweetheart mold has the softest, most realistic flesh out of any doll in my collection and, honestly, it’s better than real pussy.

It's a refreshingly original approach to doll design. Whatever you thought you wanted was wrong; You want the Sweetheart.

 

They always wanted one. They read the reviews, they follow the collector’s blogs, they watch the porn.. The real problem is the ridiculous price tag. They could probably find one much cheaper if they bought refurbished or a different brand… but this was Euphoria.Sense.. Why own one at all if not the original? 

They browse the product photos. The second one is a blonde Sweetheart on their knees looking up at the camera with big glassy eyes. They immediately get up to go find their credit card.

The website promises easy clean up. A ten-day money back guarantee if none of the seals are broken. And it has all kinds of adorable accessories. It comes out to several thousands of dollars, but the overnight shipping is free. 

Though apparently, it isn’t discreet. The delivery guy makes an uncomfortable face as he asks them to sign for it. The tall, ornate box might almost look like a coffin except for the giant Euphoria.Sense dollhouse logo on the front of it. Their mind is already filled with dozens of images that make them sweat. 

By the time they get around to unwrapping it they're getting worked up, imaging its voice, all the cutesy, dutiful “yes master!”s and little curtseys it will do. 

They cut the tape and the zip-ties before moving to the actual lock. The password is their order confirmation number. It opens and the lid pops off with a click.

Once it’s removed they stare down at their new toy. Its eyes are closed and it lays perfectly, unnaturally still. It’s so much more beautiful in person. They chose the model with lavender hair, currently tied up in two neat buns with baby blue ribbons. It’s wearing a blue peter pan collar blouse, a pair of white bloomers, tied at the waist by a satin bow, blue baby doll shoes, and white fishnet stockings. The best part of course was the intricate white ribbon collar with the Euphoria.Sense dollhouse charm in the middle. The company sold different outfits and accessories as add-on packs, but they decided against getting any for some dumb reason.

They read the instruction manual, which is the size of a textbook, for about four seconds. Whatever, they’ve seen how it works. They reach into the box and gently tilt its head to the right. They reach behind its left ear, find the button under the skin, and press it. After exactly six seconds- they count- the doll’s eyes open. 

It blinks at them once or twice, eyes sparkling. It’s so adorable they want to eat it up. 

“Can you get out of there?” They start.

It stands up, stepping out of the box, revealing the foam hole cut to exactly its shape. It stands there. They stand there. They don’t know what to do now exactly. Maybe they should have thought this through.

 "…so. What’s your name?"

“The master has the privilege of choosing a doll’s name!" It responds a little too quickly.

“Oh, right. I guess I am your master, but I’m really not good at that kind of thing..” 

They stare at the doll, feeling slightly embarrassed. The doll stares back. 

“What name would you like?” They ask, looking for an easy out. 

The doll’s lips twist as if giving this deep consideration. It’s very cute. “I don’t know, master. I.. don’t know what kind of things I like!” 

They’re surprised by that answer. Doesn’t a doll come with a whole default personality? With likes and stuff? “Well, we can come back to it I-”

“I like you, Master!” The doll blurts out suddenly, “I don’t know many things, but I live to love my master, to fulfill all their dreams and desires.” It smiles sheepishly.

They turn bright red. They’d heard that exact line in a lot of porn before.

“Oh! Thanks! I .. like you too!” Wow. 

The doll giggles. Its cheeks turn a soft rosy color. 

They know how this goes in all those videos, and they have such a clear fantasy in their head, but in reality, they’re just as awkward and nervous as they are in front of real people. This is supposed to be easier! Maybe they should get to know each other first.. Or something. At least give it a name. 

“Well, um.. Do you want to see your new home?” 

It nods excitedly. “Yes master, very much!” 

They smile, holding out their hand. The doll takes it happily, scooting ever so closer to their master. Its skin is soft and warm and incredibly life-like. For the first time they see its arms extended, exposing the ball joints only visible on the inside of the elbow, the only immediate sign it isn't human. It's kind of fascinating and kind of beautiful. Some people dislike them and try to cover them with gloves or long sleeve blouses, but they don't mind them at all. They don't need to pretend their doll is a real person, because they don't want a real person. Real people have agency, they're too complex and too selfish. All they really want is a cute little toy.

They turn, gesturing around the living room. “This is my living room. This is the couch, and the tv. You can watch it if you want.. The door to the left is the laundry room, it’s really just a closet.” They lead it through the archway to the kitchen. “This is the kitchen. It’s where all the food is. Um.. Do you eat?” 

“No, master. Though I can taste, and I have a chamber in my tummy, it isn’t meant to hold food. Anything I swallow will have to be removed and then I will need to be cleaned.” 

They have a pretty good idea what that’s for. That’s kind of gross. Thankfully they recall something about the self-cleaning mode from that instruction manual they sort of skimmed. 

“Well if you want to taste things, you can ask me. Just don’t do it without telling me. I don’t want you to get dirty. Or choke or something.”

The doll hums. “Yes master, of course!” 

They lead it back through the living room toward the hallway and open the door to the bathroom. “This is the bathroom… I don’t know if you need to use it, but this is where you'll get cleaned up. Make sure you knock before you go in, okay?” 

The doll nods, still smiling brightly. It seems so pleased just to see a tiny bathroom. They close the door and move on to the end of the hall. “This is my bedroom. This is where I sleep. You can look around if you want.” 

It nods, taking a shy step away from them. Reluctantly, it releases their hand, walking towards the bed. It touches the duvet carefully, investigating it. “Soft!”

It occurs to them the doll had only ever touched manufacturing equipment and plastic packaging. How many nerve endings did it have again? Just how advanced was the technology that made this doll think and feel? In principle, they didn't support giving sex dolls almost near-human processing and cognitive abilities, it was inhumane, right?...but it really wasn't their principles that had made this purchase.

“Where will I sleep, master?”

Oh. They hadn’t thought of that before. “Well.. I guess I’ll get you a bed of your own. There should be enough room in the closet.” God forbid anyone comes to visit and sees the doll, much less a whole bed for it. They make these insanely small storage boxes for the dolls that they contort into like old-school circus performers, but they didn't really like them. They were meant to be discreet so they were kind of ugly. Plus, when they were a kid, they always loved spoiling their dolls with their own pretty beds and wardrobes.. maybe even a vanity.  “But for now you can sleep with me.” 

The doll spins around to face them, eyes lighting up. “Really master? You mean it?” 

They shrug. “Of course, silly.” 

It jumps up and down excitedly. “Thank you master!! Can I get in the bed now? I would like to feel it!” 

They nod, laughing softly. “You’re precious.” 

“I am?” 

“Yes! You are.” 

“Thank you master! That’s a wonderful name!” 

Oh. Well. That wasn’t what they meant, but it suited them. And they hadn’t thought of anything else so far. “Yes, you can get in the bed, Precious.” 

It beams, climbing carefully onto the bed, trying not to disturb the covers. It slowly, gently lays on its back, spreading its arms out on either side. It's kind of angelic. Its blouse rides up slightly, exposing a few inches of its tummy. One of the best things about this model is its size. It isn’t thin like a lot of the popular or cheaper models. It's pleasantly chubby, with soft, squishy thighs and a rounder tummy. They have the sudden urge to kiss it. 

Suddenly, the awkwardness from before is gone completely. They go to the edge of the bed and sit next to the doll.  They run their hand up the doll’s legs, over their bloomers, and rest it on the exposed skin, fingers sitting just under the edge of the blouse. Its tummy is even softer than its hands. 

“Does that feel good, Precious?” They look up at its face, stroking the skin below its belly button. They feel the familiar warmth of arousal creep up on them, that almost animalistic urge to  possess and consume.

Precious bites its lip, nodding silently. They feel a sudden confidence. A sudden dominance. “Will you answer me, sweetheart?”

“Yes master!” It says quickly. “I love being touched by you in any way.” 

“Good doll.” They let their hand come down over the bloomers, over the hips, and down between its legs. “Do you want to play with Master, Precious? Do you want to make me happy?” 

“Of course, Master, your happiness is the only thing that matters to me.” It said so as if stating an obvious fact. The sky is blue; dolls exist to serve their masters.

“You are such a good little dolly.” They squeeze lightly. The doll sucks in a small breath, back arching ever so slightly. It stares up at them, eyes wide, innocent. They pull their hand away to untie the satin ribbon around the doll’s waist and push both hands below the waistband of its bloomers, inching them down its legs. The doll’s eyes flutter closed. 

Its panties are lavender and white lace, framing its hips and beautiful pink pussy. They get so hard it almost hurts. They look back up at the doll. 

“Unbutton your shirt, babydoll.” 

“Yes master.” It says in a lower, lusty little voice. The sound of it makes them go slightly crazy. It undoes the buttons from the bottom, going just slow enough to keep them on the edge of anticipation. Finally, when it reaches the top button, they place their hand over the dolls, pulling the shirt open, revealing the matching bra beneath.

They run both hands up its stomach, over the dolls perfect breasts. 

“You’re so perfect, Precious. I want you. I could eat you.” They throw one leg over the doll’s hips, straddling it. 

“Anything, whatever you want.” It whispers.

They lean down, kissing its chest, its neck. 

The doll moans quietly. 

“You belong to me,” they said, but not to the doll. It was as if they were finally realizing that they owned it. Completely. It was an object. Theirs. “Say you belong to me. Only me.”

“I belong to you Master, only to you.” 

At that, they can’t help but growl, biting its neck, maybe a little harder than they meant to. The doll gasps, moans in pain. 

They sit back up, pull their t-shirt over their head, and start to undo their belt. The dolls eyes are slightly teary, but they know it's programmed to enjoy pain, even though it's programmed to cry as well. This is one of the selling points they always go on about. You’re supposed to be able to do things humans can’t physically tolerate. It comes off as kind of creepy and psychotic, but they can’t help but admit that they have violent tastes. They like inflicting pain, but they don’t actually like harming people. It’s different.. Not many humans understand that. 

They cup the doll's face in their hand and stroke its cheek gently with their thumb. It looks at them like no one has ever looked at them before. Like they created the universe itself, like they're God. Like it worships them. And it probably does. They are the only person it's ever met, and these dolls are programmed to love their master- it's the very core of their being. They smile sweetly. "Would you do anything for me, Precious?"

"Of course." It answers easily, genuinely. 

They lean down and kiss it on the mouth. It follows their lead, opening up and catching their lips with its own. It's the best kiss they've ever had in their life. No one ever talks about how good they kissed..A lot of owners are very mean to their dolls, so they guess they aren't doing a lot of kissing. The thought makes them kind of sad. 

They pull away, hopping off the bed in a rush. They unbutton their pants and slide them off as Precious watches patiently, adoringly. 

"Do you want me to fuck you, babydoll?" 

Precious nods furiously. "Yes, master! Please! It would make me so happy!" 

They take their boxers off, erection finally free. They grab the doll's legs, swinging them around so they hang off the bed, hips just on the edge. They set its ankles on their shoulders and gently, slowly, pull its panties down its legs. It was like unwrapping a present. Twice. At the end, they bend its knee, pulling the delicate lace off one leg and then the other, setting it on the nightstand. 

Its pussy was beautiful. Pink, plush. Delectable. Of course it was perfect, it was engineered to be, but God, still.

They inch forward, knees against the side of the bed, and reach one hand out to stroke it. They slide their middle finger between its lips and dip just into its opening. The doll moans, the hottest sound they'd ever heard. It was irresistibly wet. They push deeper, coaxing more sounds out of it. 

They can't wait anymore. They pull their hand away and quickly adjust the doll's hips to line up with theirs. They push in. They moan. That first thrust, that moment..It was so warm. Precious wrapped around them so tightly. It was so soft. They could die.

"Master!" The doll throws its head back against the pillow, eyes fluttering closed. 

The sound goads them on, they pull out halfway and slam back in, forcing a little grunt out of the doll. It’s divine. They lose all control, pulling out again only to pound into them over and over. It’s like religion. They throw their head back, unable to concentrate, focusing on nothing but the feeling of being inside the doll’s precious little pussy. Eventually they slow. Somehow capable of thoughts, they decide not to cum, to savor it instead. They look back down at the doll, the ribbon around one of its hair buns coming loose. It notices their gaze and meets their eyes. It gives them a look of pure adoration. No one’s ever looked at them like this. They reach down and undo both ribbons, letting its hair fall around its face. They run their hand through it. 

“You’re so beautiful.” 

“Thank you, Ma-” They interrupt it with a sudden, hard thrust. It stutters, distracted by a moan. They bite their lip. Fuck. 

They pull away, grabbing its ankles off their shoulders. They gently set them on the floor. 

With a huff, they hug the doll around the middle and toss it further back into the bed, against the pillows. It looks perfectly disheveled, but they want it absolutely wrecked. 

They crawl up the bed and over the doll, grabbing its face in their hand. They gently turn its head from side to side, admiring every inch of it. They lean down and gently kiss its forehead. The doll looks up through its eyelashes, glowing under the affection. 

“You would look even more beautiful with tears in your eyes.” They say softly. “I want to make you cry.” 

The dolls cheeks blush a much darker shade than they’d seen them. “I will fulfill all your dreams and desires.” It says confidently. 

The doll would enjoy whatever they wanted it to, whatever made its Master happy, no matter what. They knew this, but had never experienced it first hand. It worships them but now, it's starting to make them feel like a God. 

Slowly, deliberately, they bring their flat palm against its right cheek and then pull back, slapping it. Precious gasps as its head is wrenched to the side. It turns back to the position they had left it in before and smiles at them, with this perfectly crazy, giddy look. Their lips part, it was all they could do to keep their mouth from hanging open.

They stare at it for a moment. “Good doll.” They slap it again, harder, without warning. The doll gasps again, eyes fluttering open and closed several times before small tears bead in the corners of its eyes. In a moment it gathers its composure, this time having to deliberately put its smile back on for Master. It’s fucking delicious to watch. 

They rock back on their knees, back down to the middle of the bed. They gently spread the dolls legs apart, taking a moment to feel the flesh of its thighs in their hands. They line up their hips and push into their doll. They close their eyes briefly, soaking up the feeling of being inside it. Precious moans. The doll wraps its delicate hands around its Master’s wrists on either side of its waist. They rock their hips, fucking it, and they feel drunk. They slap the doll once, as hard as they’ve ever slapped anyone before. This time it doesn’t gasp, but lets out a sharp cry of pain, caught by surprise. They don’t wait to watch its reaction, they just fuck faster and wrap a hand around its tiny, beautiful throat. The little sound Precious was making gets interupted. It can’t even smile anymore. Dolls don’t need to breathe, but they do. There are a lot of reasons for it: more realistic speech and body language, human-like movement, and this. 

Precious grabs their wrist again. Poor thing. They slap it again, over and over until its cheeks are ruby red. Whenever they’ve choked human beings like this, their eyes always plead with them, begging them, no matter how much that person actually enjoys being choked. They can’t fight their biology; biology that screams with every single cell to continue living. 

Dolls don’t experience fear, at least not the way humans do. They can be taught to act afraid, and they can be very convincing, but that’s just their desire to please. 

Its face is red and welting, its hair is an absolute mess, and tears stream down its cheeks. Its eyebrows are raised and scrunched together, mouth wide open as if to get as much air as possible. It’s an entirely programmed expression that the designers knew users would expect to see. But Precious is looking up at them so calmly, so intently. Its eyes convey nothing but pure bliss.  They can’t take it. They cum immediately. 

Slowly, they sink forward onto Precious’ chest, letting go of its throat. They lay like that for a while, silently, just catching their breath. 

[kafkaoftherubble]

Dear Lyndis,

Here are some suggestions for playing this ask game: https://www.tumblr.com/kafkaoftherubble/753608772078977024/ask-game-for-someones-ocs

❤️ - Ada, F, Emily

🥊 - B, C, D (if they have distinct personalities)

✂️ - Emily

💚 - Ada

🍎 - All (do they have parents? How about their "creators?")

🧠 - F

Signed,

— A Mysterious Stranger

Mysterious个毛。

Look. 2015 Lyn(s) left the most barebone stuff. It has so little meat that if a meat-lover calls it their diet, they are legally required to declare themselves a vegetarian.

I'm basically gonna weave whatever shit this brain can think of using whatever data 2015 versions of Lyn left. And then pretend that this is so totally part of the canon now. It's not like I plan to write it as a real story, right, Future Lyns?

---

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

They love to be alive. They hate to be dead.

Okay, see. You already know how A, B, C, D, E, and F are created, but maybe Future Lyns need this recap (I ain't gonna be like 2015 Lyn who did not even leave a long-lasting record):

Six tubes, each with ten genetically modified embryos, are involved in Project Ghoul/Gu.

In the first phase, every embryo has to fight the other nine embryos for survival. The embryos have only two means: fight their rivals to the death or forcefully absorb the latter. The fittest, most powerful embryo—the last one standing—will stay in the tube for incubation.

Sounds familiar? That's because this technique is based on traditional Chinese +/ Japanese folk magic called 蛊毒。 The Wikipedia page linked has a detailed process of how "the strongest venomous magic" can be cultivated according to Gudu. It's also a method to cultivate antibiotics! Neat.

The leader of the project has a Chinese background (or whatever made-up culture inspired by the Chinese culture. Really, kinda don't have much thought about it yet). That background is in the undertone of the project, including the name: the "Gu" in Project Gu is from the word "蛊"。

(The actual Chinese name should be 人蛊计划, "Human Gu Project")

Project Ghoul is its "internationally known" name; the surviving embryo is called a Ghoul. Because puns are funny!... But also because the experiment subjects echo a creature from pre-Islamic Arabic folklore, "Ghul." Researchers see a Ghoul as a flesh-eating human because their first "diet" was the other embryos they shared in the tubes.

Like the most famous ghul in Arabic folklore, the Ghouls are on the female end of the sex spectrum. Except for one, anyway.

Unfortunately, Tube B, C, and D were a failure. The struggle between embryos was lethal, and the survivors of B, C, and D died shortly after. Hence, they never have anything they love or hate to do. They simply never got to live enough to have that.

--------

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Ada is mediocre at her core. There is nothing particularly exciting about her appearance or traits, especially if compared to the other two surviving Ghouls... and even other humans.

Ada is female. She's an inept straight.

By "inept," I mean she doesn't seem to charm anyone that way (per her admission), doesn't know how to socialize with other genders that well, and doesn't know if she has charisma or how to improve her charisma. She just doesn't possess rizz (per her admission). You can say she's Asa without Yoru.

It's frustrating for Ada to find out she isn't aromantic. A kind blind boy had befriended her that one time; it was hard to determine if it was a youth's idea of a joke, a genuine relationship, something done out of pity, or a "we can try to get along and see if actual love sparked" situation à la arranged marriage—but they dated for a while.

Ada had felt genuine romantic feelings for the boy and had grieved when he died slipping off a banana peel and tumbling down the stairs leading to a busy road. Even if the stairs didn't kill him, the oncoming truck certainly sealed the deal. A new construction began shortly after, and rails and walls were installed in that town. Thanks to this new infrastructure, only Blind Boy was ever transported to another world to become an all-seeing seer by being able to read the script of a story, therefore never falling victim to banana peels again.

The point is, Ada simply isn't aromantic. Above all else, she yearns to be loved and for a person to belong to, which is why her inept straight-ness hurts. She believes the only person who could even love and accept her is someone who's passionately, romantically in love with her. She often fantasizes about the dead boy secretly wanting to be with her for the rest of his life if not for that fucking banana peel, but the Others have waaaaay less faith in that.

Hey, at least she's asexual. Dodge the femcel bullet!

-------

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like? (do they have parents? How about their "creators?")

Every researcher on Project Gu is technically their caretaker, but the Lead Researcher (LR) is considered the "real" parent.

(1) Ada

Ada has no relation with LR because, before F goes missing, LR has no fucking idea "A" survived.

Prior to their lab being destroyed by anti-Ghoul activists/terrorists, A was constantly near death after her Pyrrhic victory against other embryos, so most people didn't really think much about her. The team hastily salvaged E (a fetus) and F (still an embryo) and left for safety; nobody really thought A would live.

A (fetus) survived long enough until a pair of disillusioned ex-researchers discovered it while scavenging for documents after the coast was clear. They brought A home and incubated it further out of curiosity, and to their surprise, A grew up. These people were her first adopted parents.

They were pretty good teachers and parent figures, but they never planned to keep her for long—they believed they were not equipped to train and raise a human weapon and feared being found out by their old research team and LR. When A was 5, they gave her away to a foster home.

To win emotional appeals from voters, an aspiring politician and his wife made a big show of visiting the foster home and choosing one child to adopt. He picked A—his aide had told him that the child was given away by researchers who used to be involved in Project Gu, and the politician thought she might be politically useful someday. Just like that, this politician and his wife became A's second adoptive parents. They named her "Arete" when she told them her name was "A."

Arete's new parents were decent toward her—and she liked them enough—until the wife gave birth to a pair of twins. Arete became sidelined very quickly and showed up less and less with the family. Then two things happened: Arete was found talking to herself all the time. She also sees ghosts and macabre creatures when there aren't any. It was the subject of tabloids and rumors before culminating in an incident that left her parents humiliated at a state dinner.

Her relationship with her parents deteriorated. They started to call her "A" again, distancing themselves from her and giving her just the bare minimum of care. When she was 18, they got her to be emancipated but told her to remove any connection she had with the family, including changing her name. So, A just grabbed a name she found on a book or something and forgo a last name altogether.

(2) Emily

Emily enjoys an affectionate relationship with LR and the rest of the team. Everyone coddles her because she's the success story of Project Gu and is genuinely as impressive and competent as the Ghouls were supposed to be. In public, Project Gu was stated to have only one success, "E." That success brought a ton of research funding and a sterling reputation to the researchers who participated, which made them love her even more.

Without F in the picture, Emily is the princess. LR tolerates her spoiled brat's attitude and usually allows her everything she desires, including acknowledging the human name she had given herself despite insisting they had already given her "a name."

(3) F

F is LR's true golden child. He's the secret 6th Ghoul that not even Emily and many on the research team know. LR treats him as their greatest success and legacy. Nonetheless, they're very guarded about his existence. They're controlling of him and do all they can to make sure F obeys them, as F is a psychic and the most powerful Ghoul. He's their trump card.

F doesn't return LR's fervor. He respects them and treats them well, but he's rather distant. He also treats other researchers in the know about him similarly. F had tried training himself to dampen his psychic empathy however ways he can to avoid being overwhelmed and pained by conflicting emotional states, but that caused him to be aloof to his "parent."

Nonetheless, until he went missing, he defers to LR's commands. He is also the only one who responds to the name LR gave him.

Subfolder: Extra Name Lore Related to LR:

LR believes themself to be the parent of all 6 Ghouls, so they gave them names displaying their well wishes. Unfortunately, they see the Ghouls as weapons and not people, so their wishes are... well.

A: 碍(ài) "hinder, obstruct"

B: 别(bié) "split, break apart"

C: 袭(xí) "sneak attack"

D: 毒(dú) "poison"

E: 扼(è) "chokehold, control"

F: 伏(fú) "subjugate, rule"

Ada had no idea she had such a name. Emily hates it. F is the only one who will respond to it even after they run away.

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2.I RAMBLED TOO MUCH. I COMPLAINED ABOUT NO MEAT, BUT IT NOW HAS TOO MUCH MEAT.

[lilisouless]

Oh great! there is no longer being limited to Alina´s pov so other characters can have more screentime, which includes Nadia who didn't do a lot on the book?....what?...the crows storyline is taking a lot so there is hardly time? okay

But David is not in Alina´s team so with him gone Nadia can step up and being in charge of the weapon desing, the only trait the original books gave he...no? that doesn't happen? she is not given even that?

Okay, but at least there is the time she gets to mourn...no? her best friend Marie is not even mentioned? okay...

But she actually has more screen time! and season 1 changed her to a tidemaker, in the book she never did anything remarkable as one compared to Zoya and Adrik so she can be the representation of...no? she is a squaller again so nothing interesting happens?

But she is shown teaching Alina with the cut, she could be the eterealki trainer-what do you mean that was just one scene?

OKAY! but at least most of her screentime is with Adrik so the duo could be entertaining with Adrik´s grumpy demeanor and need to prove himself , so Nadia could be...WHAT DO YOU MEAN ADRIK HAS NO PERSONALITY ON THE SHOW?!

Under the cut there is some unfriendly comments about book!Nadia, who most people already know i was never a fan of, don't open if you don't want to punch me on the face

Like the book to show transition was like...how do you take flavor away from toffu? tha thing already tasted like nothing yet you acomplished to make it even less palpable, how can someone do that?

Really,book Nadia hardly did anything,she´s got noting to stand out beyond the weapos building thing (even then, she doesn't stand out compared to David and Nikolai in that matter) how do you make that even less fleshed out? thats a new level of bad

[yanderefairyangel]

I am curious. Why do you think Xenobron is bad ? we don't fight him in the DLC and he doesn't seem that different from normal Sombron

Alright this is going to be long.

We indeed don't fight Xenobron, he doesn't matter, he is a minor character which is why he is dead at the begining of the DLC, and we only see him in 3CG with his design not being revealed to signify "hey it's a different Sombron right here". He exist only for the Xenologue to happen because Rafal can't be a villain on his own and to shoehorn 2 Fell dragons without making them related to Alear in anyway (because the writers want to preserve Alear's amnesia) and without any risk of them being plot relevant in anyway.

But the problem with Xenobron not being more fleshed out is that it gets in the way of the Twin's writing.

Nel's whole arc and Rafal's whole arc parallels with the one that Alear has : learning about connection, choosing to become a virtuous person and learning to overcome your past and accept what is lost.

Both Nel and Rafal have a troubled story with connecting with people due to how in their family they were sometimes forced to kill their other siblings and couldn't trust them. Nel's whole arc is about that as well, the trauma leaving her very very anxious with forming a sibling bound with anyone hence the Veyle support being Veyle, someone dreaming of family as an ideal, to share this view with Nel to help her overcome it. And in the Xenologue, Nel needs to accept what she lost. She learns to accept Alear's death, the person she was in love with learning the pain of connection in the same way as Sombron and 0 Emblem. Even more so as it was the first person she ever fell in love with, a connection I am sure she though she could never experience. The Xenologue is about her overcoming this grief and befriending an alternate version of her love and this parallel how long long ago she had accepted Nil, her beloved twin's death and accepted Rafal as her brother, but not as a replacement, but as who he is. She was seeing him as who he is this entire time despite his ressemblance with Nil and accepted to treat him as a sibling, a connection that felt very very painful to her due to the tension with her other sibling that she refused to accept Veyle until the A support, yet it doesn't feel like she didn't accept her twins' death, she accepted it and managed to make a new connection of that kind and showing she has overcome her issues. This is the same thing with Alear : at first, she can't help but seeing them as the Alear she loved, but she eventually manages to accept the loss and to see Alear as who they are, that's why if you S support her, it is pointed out and it is obvious Nel isn't trying to find back what she has lost, but that she accept Alear as who they are while making that new connection that heartbroke her. But the problem is that Xenobron's backstory and lack of character weakens this narrative since he had no reason to teach her or any of his kids that connections is weakness and his edgy stuff so, compared to Alear, it offers a much less savory parallel and it doesn't make her an efficient foil to Xenobron since the whole idea was that Sombron created his own enemy and is whole motivation makes the thing crumble.

And for Rafal, that's worse. And that's a pity because he is an EXCELLENT character. But him learning, like Nel and Alear, that strengh comes from connecting rather then strengh and power and isolation is made less efficient because of Xenobron. And that's a pity. Because if Xenobron had a backstory like Sombron, then him teaching his kids the opposite message would make more sense and therefore makes their narrative works as efficientely as it does for Alear and Veyle since the main point of Sombron doing this to them is that he truly believes in this philosophy which comes from his refusal to heal, to accept the loss and to try making new connection, even those who remind you of the ancient scars. And that's a pity because that's precisely what Rafal learns !! He is trapped in the past, and not only because of his insecurities due to being treated as a good for nothing failure but also because he never accept Nil's death. When he was a child, Nil was his only friend and the one connection that helped him knew what it was like to have a sibling, having lost his very very young and when he lost Nil, he accepted to replace him with Nel to honnor Nil's memory but also because he wanted to keep Nil "alive" in a way, and he did so by accepting to abandon his identity and allow "Nil" to live in his stead but he can't help but feel guilty about it thinking about how the love Nel gave him belonged to Nil and he "stole" his place making him feel even lonelier and undeserving of it, because he too yearns for affection and he hates himself for wanting something he feels he doesn't deserves and that doesn't belong to him but to Nil. And there is also the fact that he is influenced by Sombron and I mean it in every way. The fact that he speaks like Sombron shows he internalized whatever thing Sombron though as true, his convictions and ambitions which makes him realizing that those aren't what would make him happy work but since Xenobron doesn't have the background feating for Rafal to feel that way, it weakens it, as well as the overcoming of what he lost. He finally accepted Nil's death when he realized his actions lead him to lost the only person he loved and who loved him in return and with whom he connected in the same way he did with Nil, he regained his lost identity and learns to connect with people. With Mauvier and Ivy it's through redemption, and with Alfred it's through their common points. He does the same with Gregory by letting him pierce through his facade and obviously Alear, someone he cames to treasure as a friend and he can even romance, a connection that like Nel he never had before and probably never dream of ever experiencing. And this would work soooo freaking well if it was with MG Sombron, but with Xenobron it poils to frustration. He is there just because of plot devicey reasons as a vehicle for their trauma but he doesn't add anything since he has nothing to flesh him out, compared to MG Sombron whose backstory flesh out, adds deeper meaning to the story but makes him the perfect foils for Alear and Veyle as it adds to their character too !!

And I am sorry, but I am no "Sombron is still Sombron" kind of person. While the final boos fight is liberating for both Alear and Veyle, enabling them to recover their agency and finally overcome their ultimate trial, for the twins it is much less effective because at the end of the day, the Sombron they fight isn't their abuser, it's just their dad from another world and in a world may I add where they might not have existed, might not have been his children but that at any rate didn't mistreated them the way Xenobron did because they might have died as kids. So the whole bit about them finally fuffiling themselves falls flat. They are only defeating someone who looked like their abusers, there it FEELS like it's a substitute compared to the genuine link they can have with each other and our cast. That's why their dialogue ends up reading differently as them defeating their abusive dad since he isn't. And you can argue that Sombron would have did the same to them, but I disagree. At the risk of sounding petty, Sombron calling his kids defect and Xenobron calling them failure changes completely the relationship status. To you it might seems like it's the same thing but to me, not, because there is a reason if out of all things, even though the 2 Sombron are so similar, the writers felt the need to change THAT very word.

Unlike for Veyle and Alear whose connection with Sombron is essential, the one that Nel and Rafal have with Xenobron is just due to plot devicey reason that caused their narrative to be weaken even though it's already excellent character arc which is why if Xenobron had a backstory allowing him to have the same motivations as Sombron to explain why he believes in strengh and seeks something he lost like Sombron does rather then accepting the loss, and making new connections to become a better person, then the Twin's narrative would be just as powerful, if not more then Alear and Veyle's

[goldenworldsabound]

gimme coffee shop, college, fake dating, and crossover for THE BOY CLAYMAN >:33c also i see that ur blog is now clayman themed hehe i love it

I owed it to him at this point to Claymanify the blog fkjdashfkjdsa

AIGHT LET'S GET TO IT

[COFFEE SHOP] - How many AU's do you have between all of your f/o's? What are they?

I answered this earlier but for Clayman I have quite a few as well!!!

College AU

Modern AU

Clayman is a magical cat AU (I love my cat AUs fkjhdsa)

Rich Bitch Trio counts here

Magical Western AU

True Dragon SI AU

Clayman is the Self Shipper AU

I think that's all of them fkdjsahfkjdsa

[COLLEGE] - What is your most developed/fleshed out AU?

Well funny you should say that it's swiftly becoming College AU, though all of these are pretty damn fleshed out. But College AU also includes a ton of other characters and it's just so FUN I love it, I'm sure I'll end up writing for it eventually fkjdsahfkjds

[FAKE DATING] - How would a reverse/personality swap AU work between your f/o and s/i?

personality swap...HONESTLY I don't- it wouldn't be us then anymore I get very confused by personality swap HOWEVER role swap is pretty interesting! If I was the Demon Lord and he was the summoned human...it would sort of shift our personalities though because it's hard to be cocky and smug the way he is in canon if he's...new to the world and lost. But I would be a lot friendlier than he was initially to me because I have excellent emotional intelligence (esp compared to him fkjdhfa). I think he would end up being the sort of subordinate Yamza is to him in canon - very aggressively and ready to tell everyone else how much they suck compared to me and to praise me endlessly. I let him- fkjdshafksa as for me...well, I would certainly be very confident. I'm not really super scheming myself the way he is in canon though so I no doubt talk to Laplace and Clayman and Kazalim and seek far more feedback than Clayman tends to in canon. Results in much better thought out plans until the mind control anyway-

[CROSSOVER] - Take your f/o and s/i and put them in another fandom! What happens? What do their stories look like now? Any big design changes?

Let's consider Genshin!!! His family strikes me as one that would work with the Fatui, even if they have their own goals related to Celestia...but they keep those under wraps. They have no qualms about doing dangerous or awful things. They also aren't human - maybe they're like Klee or maybe specifically Kazalim is like Klee (and part of the Hexenzirkel even) and the jesters + Clayman are homonculi like Albedo. Clayman's role would be to hold a rich and powerful position in Fontaine which he does fantastically. His Vision would be...

Electro, for the way he follows his family's plan for eternity. And also the electrical currents can be controlled to puppet others, allowing him to remain a sort of puppeteer, though this kind is far less suited for espionage and such and is more just terribly painful I imagine. But he could manipulate and control mechanical bodies perhaps.

As for my SI, in this case I suppose they would be living a mundane life in Fontaine, up until they are accused of a crime and almost wrongly convicted. Evidence that salvages their case is found last minute, but the whole experience traumatized them (yeah totally stealing from an actual Genshin SI's bg but shhh) and perhaps led to a Cryo Vision (which they use to create ice shards much like Tensura SI's "crystalline shards" and shields, and perhaps even wings though I doubt they could actually fly with them, more as an expression of art). Their belief and trust in gods is shaken - they understand now that their archon is quite fallible.

Clayman snatches them up straight away. I imagine he attends the trials at the Opera quite often and he sees how broken I become, and sees opportunity there. And the Vision. He also sees the Vision. And also sees that I'm pretty-

Anyway you get the idea, I am initially repulsed when I learn of the terrible actions his family does but I come to accept that since Clayman has already somewhat groomed me on their motives and goals and as such I begin to be able to look past all sorts of atrocities they slowly unveil to me, and before long I am committing them as well.

[tutuandscoot]

SD: Prince - 2017 World Championships, Helsinki Finland

Here we go it’s time for the VM fandom favourite!

I can only speak for myself here and what I’ve seen others say- this is certainly way up there with the fave VM SD/OD’s- maybe with Farrucas- like it’s the Farrucas of the comeback. (Imo Farrucas is in a league of its own). I’ve already said SFTD is by far my fave SD, maybe program all together, Prince just isn’t quite it for me, especially in comparing the two from the comeback. However I can certainly see why so many fans love it- not to say I don’t, it’s just not my fave. So in this break down I will explain what I love about it, highlight some of the details, but I also be honest about why it’s not my fave- it mostly has to do with the rhythm/s in general and how hip hop transfers to ice- not necessarily this specific program.

Firstly let’s do a costume appreciation:

T’s catsuit is iconic! A lot of times with their costumes they are very simple, but sometimes they have costumes where I find either together they don’t quitttteeee match- which in a weird way I love, and then differently but also in a similar respect there’s a tiny bit too much going on in the one costume. There aren’t too many instances of this second thing but that’s what I find with this catsuit- there’s quite a lot going on but it all works somehow. The flesh leg cut outs should clash with the purple lace, but for some reason they don’t. I don’t know what else you could have if the cut outs weren’t there, you would think plain black would work just fine and not clash but the cut outs are maybe my fave part of it. It’s a weird concept but it’s amazing (and I’m not the biggest fan of mathiu’s costumes so this is a big complement). She wears it so well. I remember them saying that in creating this Prince themed SD that it was finding this delicate balance of masculine and feminine fluidly between the two of them and I think with her costume they really achieve that both in the way she wears it and the way Scott interacts with her in. His costume is great too, in contrast to her’s his is very simple. I firmly believe his simple aesthetic is both a comfort and confidence factor for him as well as not to distracting from T because she is his star and its his job to make her shine (his own words). While the all black and silhouette of it is simple he has kinda of stepped out of his comfort zone here with more sparkles and adornments with that first one then his new one for worlds was even a step up from that (personally I prefer the first one though).

Just before we jump into the program I’m gonna give some appreciation to the pre dance ‘let’s do this/you got this kiddo’ tushie tap!

What’s really sweet about this is it was different every time. At NHK it was more on the side of the leg before she turned around and was kinda softer. When you know what was going on in the background- personally for him/them at this comp you see everything differently and understand that Scott was just so emotionally distraught and wanted nothing more than to just look in Tessa’s eyes to know everything was gonna be ok. So this little tap was so gentle and like a little ‘thank you for taking care of me’ and acknowledging all the strength she was giving him to be able to get through this.

GPF was more ‘swaggery’ like ‘oh yeh we got this’ after she’d turned around like an actual tushie tap to hype her up. There’s no shame here in saying this is TESSA’s DANCE! So every time there’s that little tap tap! there’s always a sense like ‘you got this and I’m gonna be here every step of the way helping you shine’ ✨. The vibes were similar at 4CC, but I would say a bit cheekier. The hands rubbing together and the scrunchie smile then the tap is just so precious like ‘oh yeh let’s go’ like he’s almost giggling. Lastly I’m using the one from the practice at worlds coz the performance is kinda hard to see, again every time slightly different but always the intention is that ‘you got this kiddo’.

I won’t say it’s pure functionality of the tushie tap but how they set themselves up- he sets the position- T waits for him to stop then steps in and as they turn around she sets herself using his hips to line herself up. Seen obviously in the practice one they don’t use that adjustment to pull themselves together to touch, but it’s just to know spatially their positions, and so the tushie tap can be both these things of hyping her up and once she’s set he can feel where she is also. There’s nothing ‘dirty’ about it- I really hate when people overly sexualise their interactions. It’s functional and a little connection moment for them and that’s great!

1. Opening

So this just got progressively better and better all season to the point here at worlds it was just fire 🔥. If you compare this to SCI or NHK it’s light years difference. It’s not that earlier on it looks like they weren’t trying/putting enough energy in, or worlds was too much, it was more finding the right dynamics. Earlier on their was less bounce in esp T’s knees and upper body. It was a bit more ‘posing’ where as here she was more in the groove of it. I love how this last time, that very first movement she does they changed that to her facing left and Scott comes out from behind her (it looks reallllllyyy good in slow motion). It got way better with the voguing/whacking style. Hip hop is difficult for those not naturally suited to it (in TS’s case having a strong classical foundation its harder to let go) and then even harder to do on ice, so it’s really great how in this opening they were able to really quite convincingly move in that style with their whole bodies- not letting the ice be too much of a limiting factor.

This opening sets the tone of who’s dance this is. This is T’s dance- she has to own it right from the start. It’s such a testament to their superiority as a team that they can have programs that can be completely both of them are the focus (sometimes this can be both and switch throughout the program, eg MR), programs that are more Scott’s, and like with Prince the focus is T- but throughout all those different things, Scott is always going his job in showing T off, it just varies in different dance styles/stories. And no program is weaker or stronger based on who is the ‘main dancer’ in it. This was a common thing in ice dance from the late 90’s/early 00’s and even in TS early senior career that there were quite a ew teams where every program it was the gild doing all the hard stuff and drawing the attention and the man was just there to lift. Other teams the girl could’ve hold the attention and focus where she should in the partnership.

What this opening also does is it really sets the tone of the program in general. I made a post in the early days of this blog around the time of the olympics where MB was the set style (same as this season so hip hop, blues, jive, swing, etc were optional styles along with the MB set pattern), highlighting my issues with hip hip being an optional rhythm. As I stated above it’s a difficult style to both transfer to ice and a difficult style in general if your body/s don’t naturally move that way. By the time the Beijing olys came around there was more variety in the ‘hip hop’ genre but in the 16/17 season, it being the first time it was used for a SD, there were mostly very generic ‘hip hop’ styles and music used. Lots of ‘top 40 hits’ and just very typical songs, costumes and ‘dance moves’ when you think hip hop. I said in that original post that it really shows just how few ice dancers are natural ‘dancers’. This of course varies between each viewer and which team/s connects with you- a team I feel aren’t natural dancers/ aren’t feeling the music may vary to your taste. Hip hop really shows who isn’t musical and doesn’t have a natural rhythm about them because unlike ballroom where the form and musicality is more strict, in the steps if one partner is weaker that can be hidden, in hip hop its very obvious who doesn’t have that natural feel and in some cases which teams are really over doing it. That’s why I don’t like hip hop being an optional rhythm. In this 16/17 season especially among the teams dancing ‘hip hop’ it became so much about the ‘hip hop’ of it all and less about the skating. Of course what I’m gonna say here is how VM are the exception to this and it’s because of a few things: They are naturally musical and they both have a natural movement to them. Hip Hop is certainly imo not their natural style but they chose music and a sub-style of hip hop that worked for them. Where they could still have their posture and arm carriage. Another thing is they can move phenomenally both together and separately. This is super obvious in comparing the non-touch step sequences where in other teams the arms become very robotic and the facial expressions become very rehearsed. The last thing is the music they chose- specifically ‘Kiss’ the first song, isnt a typical ‘hip hop’ song, either if you’re thinking of the hip hop style of the 80’s/90’s or currently. As I said in the first point it met the hip hop requirements of rhythm and style, but was specific to they moved. They were in control of the program, they addapted it to them and their strengths where as most let the style own them. (Here’s some links to more info about ‘waacking and voguing styles if you aren’t familar with them and how they fit into ‘hip hop’ as a dance style). Just quickly to finish, i said what made VM both stand out and not be overwhelmed by the style was they chose something not so broad- they chose a more stylised take on hip hop, in the 22oly season I feel this got taken a bit too far to the extreme edges of hip hop and to the point where it was really just ‘free style’ (esp the majority of the top teams). Same thing with the plethora of complaints about the abuse of the set pattern requirements (which I’m sure partly read to the removal of the set pattern all together coz just no one was doing it properly the judges were too busy being paid off in back room deals to care (rip ISU judging) (compulsory/ set patterns dies with VM don’t @ me).

I’m also just gonna give a shout out to one of my fave bits of VM commentary which is from the BESP uncles: 20 secs into the program one of them says “Well they’ve won it already for me”. 😌😌 And I also love how the audience starts clapping in time immediately!

2. Dance transitions, style, perfomance

Something really significant about this SD is all the in between moments between elements is what makes it so good. The elements themselves are all phenomenal, from the way they work with the music and and the layout of the program, the way TS perform each of them and blend them in to the performance as a whole- not just checking them off as they go, and of course their technical superiority. But in studying this program what really makes it amazing for me is all the in between moments getting into and out of each element- so much so that you don’t really notice the elements until they are already it them (in the best way possible)

This all starts as soon as they begin travelling out of the first opening dance break. What imo makes them so good beyond examining their skating skills is their ability to actually dance everything they do. I’ve said hat before but I find it particularly obvious in the SD considering what I’ve just said before in regards to my issues with this being a rhythm. In full competition video on YT, in between groups when the ice is being resurfaced, the camera cuts to TS practicing back stage- the specific part they are practicing is after the NTMSS, and you can hear T say ‘dance this part’. So thats so important to me that they are thinking like that- a) because I just love them for being dancers and actually fulfilling the ‘DANCE’ part of the sport, and b) that they are reminding each other of that- to really dance and perform.

So you immediately see that dancing as soon as they start travelling. The way they just ‘sit in the pocket’ of that beat and hit every 4 and 8 count with a head or hip or accent in their knees. The choreography is also just really intricate- like I think that is really overlooked- even for me from a dancers perspective I can usually pick up on those more subtle moments but only just now studying it a bit more (say compared to SFTD which I’ve watched over and over and over) I’m picking up on the small moments and their interactions together- that actually how I like thinking of their programs sometimes, esp from the comeback- that they are really having these interactions and conversations through their movement. I don’t know how much this (the dance detail) is really valued in the judging- probably not as much as it should be, but it’s so much harder then it looks to skate with the difficulty that they do then put all this really intricate choreography on top of that.

I mentioned with the costumes earlier that focus they had on the contrast between the masculinity and femininity in this program, and how the choreography, costumes and them interacting with each other plays into that. There’s a little moment in this first section as they come towards the centre/front, it’s right on/after the lyrics ‘turn me on’, they face each other- look each other in the eye, then so sensually she puts her hand on his chest, she looks away and he caresses her arse as she twists to the right and he looks to the judges. As I said I hate when people over sexualise what they do as if it’s some tease and they are playing into some kind of game. NO. It’s the style of the dance, it’s the choreography, it’s them dancing together and putting on a performance, nothing more. I love this moment because it plays right into what they said about exploring the sexuality of the movement and style. They can do something like this and not have it be cringe (by cringe I mean him feeling her up for the sake of it) because of their trust and confidence in one another. The confidence they have in each other and in their own performance to be able to play with the judges and the audience in a moment like this. It’s what so many great performers do- like Prince himself- he flirted with the flow of sexuality in his performances and persona. That TS feel they can explore that together artistically is what puts them on a higher level within their sport. She owns it like she loves it, he owns it like he loves it, and the fact is it’s such a quick moment you barely notice it. Also musicality of this moment is so great- so they hit the sharp 4 count, then long and drawn out over the next two counts- so working with the syncompation of the music. You listen to the lyrics in this first song and again without distastefully over-sexualising each other, its this very subtle thing that sits within the body of the program. Its more in their eyes and musicality- rhythm m together rather then big showy, obvious moments.

Then as they continue moving across the ice to get into the NTMSS the phenomenal musicality continues. I just love the syncopation and intricacy of those jump steps then intertwining each other before starting the sequence. Also how can you NOT love that moment where he looks to her and kinda teases her and she slaps his face to the side. You just know they love that moment as well- she loves “slapping” him and probably loves her slapping him (you know they’re just cute and flirty like that). (Also this version isn’t the best angle for all these moments so I’ll link all the other versions below).

3. NTMSS

So here’s were I’m gonna contradict myself a bit on this quite niche hip hop style they had, because as they get into this midline chore there is a bit more “hip hop” (typical) kind of arm movements. This isn’t a bad thing i just don’t want to catch my self out saying it is wholey this one niche hip op style, there defiantly is that groove and loose groundedness throughout this first section (Kiss). The beat part about this step sequence for me is the musicality. The syncopation, hitting the beats, picking out parts of the music you wouldn’t think to. When the change to face each other/aren’t doing the exact same steps as in the first half, contrasting those quicker, more on every beat steps by playing with the music and using more drawn out glides. There is such a connection between the what the upper and lower body is dong- it’s not like skating on the bottom and ‘dancing’ on top. This is essentially just really good coordination but agin in the style and feel of the music rather then generic chore and musicality

In saying this is T’s dance does not mean Scott can take a back seat- he owns it just as much as she does. This program is great because it really lets their individual personalities shine while complementing each other brilliantly. This step sequence gives them the chance to show off their different styles- T that collected, sensual confidence and Scott that more cool and casual style. What hodls it all together is their equally brilliant skating and performance skills, musicality, and that you can feel they are so connected and talking to each other almost telepathically.

Another thing that’s really evident and I think underrated in this program as a whole, but very clear here is T’s confidence. That’s a subject I get into more so in a future post but this being the first program of the comeback- the SD is competed before the free so the first look at their new material, the confidence she has to be out front for that whole midline doing the most technical section of skating in the program (yes she is often at the front of these) with that confidence and showmanship but also so relaxed and assured is really underrated and beyond the entertainment factor just a really important thing for her that I think should be recognised in looking at an overview of their career- their journey and body of work.

4. More dance transitions, ice coverage, playing with the judges/audience

This moment after the NTMSS is when in warm up T says to really ‘dance this part’ again its so obvious how much they feel the music and sit in the rhythm of it. So intricate and flirty. I think the ice coverage they get from that moment in the back corner to when Scott does the knee slide is crazy- in that warm up Scott also says to really’ travel forward on this part’. It could be the angle of the camera but it looks like they travel about 20/30 metres with just a light push off, then actually travel with lots of interact turning/intertwining steps, idk it’s kind so intricate I can’t really break it down beyond saying its just really cool.

Speaking of cool,the knee slide is very.. honestly the first time I watched this and he put his hand down I was like ‘oh shit!’ Cause I thought it might be counted as a fall/wasn’t sure you could do that- but I guess it must’ve been allowed with this being the style that year. I love this moment how they seem to just unravel from each other then suddenly Scott is down on one knee and T is out stretched in a fouette type jump just holding hand to hand. There’s a lot about this program I cant really explain because I don’t know skating terms/steps and its been forever since i trained hip hop- not that that would really help because this is so stylised and individual to them.

The spread eagle glide he does while shifting between hips. Is crazzyyy.. Like some of the stuff in this program is so subtly showy and kinda… party tricky- like more so stuff you would see in an exh/show program, but the fact they manage to work it in so seamlessly to the SD for that matter- the “technical” program not even the free is so cool. I don’t really even know how he does that move so cleanly, then after that the kinda ‘pivot/spin’they do together after that, at different times throughout the season the leg what higher and sometimes lower but either way its really cool.

Then finally the drop. I like both versions- at first when he had her on had by the shoulder and she arched back, then here at worlds is was more of a dip, similar to the MR ending. The eyebrow moment is just fantastic. I keep think with some of these moments in these comeback programs, some of the things they do if I could imagine them doing pre comeback- like its not a confidence thing becuase tehy were always confident skates, but I think they just allowed themselves that freedom to really perform and go for it- truely hold nothing back, so its not that they couldn’t- say for example Scott do a moment like this pre comeback, but it just so unashamedly now. So the eyebrows and then the…what ever that is. I’m not gonna talk about it like how some objectify them-I’m just gonna say yay them! Its like with the ‘neck kiss’ moment in SFTD, I just think it’s so cool, whether they/she knows its coming or not/ I feel strongly Scott just does it in the moment (like with the yell in Carmen at worlds- its just spontaneous) that they can do something like that so confidently- T just lets him do that can keep their focus and be so into it.. I just love it and I admire them so much for these spontaneous moments. It makes the program feel so alive and in the moment for all the tireless rehearsing they have to do fun things like this make them feel more human and in the moment.

5: Transitioning into MB

I’m not gonna gif this part but I just want to say how much I love how they interact in this program- and that really what’s happening between the drop and then getting into position to start the MB pattern, they’re obviously still skating- but it’s not as though they are just filling time between elements. Getting to where they need to be. They are really dancing and playing with each other. It’s super sexy but also very playful. I love the way they play with levels and shapes- Scott with a high arm then T throwing her’s up, turning to each other then to the front- so including the audience in it/playing to the crowd. So often in their programs they are so focused on each other yet somehow at the same time manage to include and project the audience- without necessary playing directly to them in an overly rehearsed/choreographed way. This program is a bit different where it is more sassy and flirty and it’s appropriate to kinda react to each other then look out to the audience/judges, ie the eyebrow moment followed by the….. kiss/lick..??? You know what I mean.

Once again this all is so musical, physically they transition so well to the new music coming in, and as they start the MB, Scott’s twizzle entrance that comes out of nowhere is GOD TIER.

6. Midnight Blues set pattern

I kid you not the whole time I was watching the Beijing olys SD (RD) event, every MB pattern from every team i was counting out oud TS’s timing because THAT is the proper musical timing of that rhythm. They are just sooooooooooooooooo musical. I’ve said before it’s like they don’t dance to the music but the music is coming out of them- they are dictating the music. That is such a hard thing to achieve and is often something that is natural and can’t be taught (I used to have a lot of pianists come up to me after ballet class and tell me I had this and they would often play to me and my timing coz I felt the music with more detail - I just say that to back up my points on this coz it is somewhat hard to understand for non-dancers/musicians). With TS, its like after you watch them and you know the choreography, when if you close your eyes and listen to their music, or any. Music with this timing, you can picture TS’s movement matching perfectly to the music- so it’s was the same (for me) watching other teams not being on the music.

A few fave things to point out: the developé, the right back outside edge on the synchronised retiré, the ONLY TEAM to no-hand the bracket/three turn (I’m sorry I don’t know which one is right I’ve seen/heard both words used), legit the whole time during the 22 oly event I was shouting ‘no-hand the three turn you cowards!!’, the ankle touch, their closeness throughout, the sensuality, Scott death staring the judges on the the first few steps, the ice coverage, the silky smoothness of it all, the edges in general… I think I’ve said everything at this point.

7. Second half of blues pattern

This is probably the lest exciting part of the program- no less technically and artistically brilliant though. So this is where they complete the remainder of the blues pattern- tracing a certain path on the ice but can be made up of of own chore- must touching the whole time and both partners must do a double twizzle in hold. This pattern is once again where I find this really subtle yet compelling energy they have where they balance interacting with each other and the audience. Their audience engagement I think comes a lot from their musicality, especially for the audience sitting further away the expression really has to come from their movements because they are too far away to see their faces. This whole section again is so smooth and silky, so inter the ice but in a really specific blues feel way- they don’t skate it like they do every other program its really specific to the dance style.

(Including this coz I love maps and diagrams😜)

8: Twizzles

Firstly I’m gonna give a shout-out to whoever edits their music coz both the transitions in the program (as are most others) is fantastic. So often the musical transitions in many other programs sounds so unnatural and simply functional.

Specifically on this transition here from 5 Women to Purple Rain. You can feel the energy lift as they match it with how they fly into the twizzles.

Something minor I really love is as the come out of the end of the pattern on the musical transition, the part of chore where the cross over and Scott reaches out to the front, it almost looks like he’s grabbing/touching her pony tail/top of her head. I’m 99% sure that’s to what it is, from the font it just looks like that, but either way it’s cool and like with almost everything in ice dance, it’s subjective so yeh I just think that moment is really cool.

The actual twizzles seem to travel so far- at least half the rink when you consider they are kinda travelling on a diagonal. Having said that their twizzles alway travel crazy distances, it could just be these in particular/the camera angle/at size of the rink (compared to comps in Canada/NthAmerica where the rinks are usually hockey size)

The arms in the twizzles are so cool and just make them so much harder. They did in their twizzles is always so good (esp) post comeback. The arms they do help the twizzles blend into the broader choreography and style rather then standing out as this whole separate element. In this version at worlds the get a teeny tiny bit out of sync on the last set- to be fair they are getting very close to the boards, Scott was having twizzles issues all season but covered it very well.

Following the end of the twizzles it’s amazing how they continue to build and the music begins to reach this really triumphant climax- it also adds to all the good feelings when you hear the crowd lift with them. I love how much fun they obviously seem to be having once the twizzles are done. All the hard stuff is done so they can totally enjoy it from here out

9: Lift and Ending

Obviously there is the lift to go and a very hard lift at that, but I don’t even think I would need the fingers on one hand to count the number of times a lift didn’t work out properly. Lifts are just not hard for them- they always nail them.

This lift I saw for the first time obviously in MR and it worked so perfectly in that. I have this weird thing which is purely a stereotype I’ve created for myself in that there’s certain types of lifts I self-categorise as ‘SD’ lifts and ‘FD’ lifts. I don’t mean lift types as in curve or rotational, it’s more in the sense of.. to use a very technical term.. ‘bigness’ of them. Like the amount of space they take up, the grandness.. etc.. this lift in Prince (which colloquially I refer to as the ‘Prince lift’ when referencing it in MR or other programs) I feel is more so a ‘FD’ lift. This is very likely because the first time I saw it was in MR and for everyone who saw it in Prince or the first time in Whats Love? it’s a SD lift, or maybe no one else thinks of it like that and I’m just weird. I generally think of their SD’s lifts as their fast rotational lifts as in SFTD or DALD (2014) the more I would say ‘ballroom’ style lifts. Now obviously those lifts aren’t reserved for ballroom/latin style dances but nor would they work with the rhythm/style of Prince. Now getting past that weird thing of mine, this lift is obviously perfect for this program. It’s perfect for the music- you couldn’t put this lift anywhere else in the program, nor I feel you could have really any other kind of lift at this moment with this music in the program- it just fits it so well. T being in that costume also work well with this kind of lift- it’s quite acrobatic (as are a lot of their lifts)- not in the sense she’s going upside down or flipping- it’s fairly simple (not less difficult) in it’s mechanics, but this lift wouldn’t work in say the Mahler dress or even the Latch dress- the positions and the mechanics of it are just more suited to a pants costume (yes in MR she’s in a dress but a more athletically enabling style). There’s also something very ‘rock and roll’ about it, like rock concert-y -about it.. again this is me with my bizarre imagery here but it in a way it mimics the physicality of musicians on stage hitting the final notes of a huge song..

Ok now for the physicality.. I said it was simple but at the same time it freaking blows my mind. There’s a clip somewhere of them practicing this lift backstage (so off ice) at 4CC and the one main difference between off and on ice is off Scott doesn’t stand in a flat turned out second when T goes to stand up on his legs. We’ve established that in skating there are two plains on which the blades can travel- forward and back- so parallel, or sideways in flat turn out. So for this lift to work, he has to be travelling sideways in turn out, then to make the lift travel on a curve, he has to lean back and even direct the toes of his blades back past 180 degrees turnout to assist in the direction the curve takes. We’ve also established that in terms of turnout Scott has a lot of it- or at least uses what he has extremely well because his turned out/spread eagle positions are both so aesthetically beautiful but also incredibly strong both in his own transitions and in lift bases. So none of this is surprising, but it still blows my mind. The balance they have both have. The lack of fear Tessa had to arch back that far, them both having to find that together- if you watch this lift from one of the first times they did it in What’s Love, neither of them arch/lean back very far, so that obviously increased as they got more confident with it to the point here and following in MR the next season, T is just about arching/bending back at a 90 degree angle. So what I said earlier about them practicing off ice without that flat turned out base-is it in a sense a completely different lift because of where their weight is. Scott doesn’t get down into a full grand plié off ice so the angle T is standing on is different, she doesn’t bend as far back because that parallel angle she makes with Scott isn’t there when he’s got a different lift base. So I often wonder with a lift like this, once of course the lift becomes easy and they are fully confident with it, what the benefit of practicing it off ice is. I just think that’s interesting.

Then of course with the half twist, landing on his shoulder, he changes direction, and it was kinda funny at worlds, throughout the season actually the final ending pose they got into quicker and quicker- minor changes in the. Hire processing the lift and maybe staying longer in the lift in general, but this last time at worlds they really had to skid into it quick which is a bit funny. Still it works great and in a sense I prefer it over having to wait for the music to catch up. Scott’s reaction at this comp too was just so wholesome. The big ‘yaawooo) and leaning so far back and T just breaking but also staying in position like a good girl, trying to keep him up almost.

For that amount I’ve babbled on here you may call BS on me saying I don’t actually have a tonne to say about this program- obviously in breaking it down I do but unlike say SFTD or Latch I don’t have a tonne of super deep thinky thoughts about it. It’s more more fun, there’s not much of a story, I’m neither a skating nor hip hop connoisseur, so I’m really just breaking down what I’m seeing/ do know.

I do really like this program, it’s just not my favourite, but there is still sooooo much to appreciate and maybe one of my have things is how much fun they had performing it because while they are the best at and have such a unique ability to pour themselves into really dark and deeply emotional programs, I’m really glad they have opportunity to, and are just also really good at more up beat, light hearted programs. Also let’s not forget they broke the damn world record nearly every time they performed this.. and this was the comeback SD.. my mind is just forever gonna be blown with these two I’ll stop talking now bye..

Links to all performances (competitive):

ACI • SCI • NHK • GPF • 4CC • Worlds

(There’s no available video of nationals that I know of)

Full SD from 2017 worlds (for comparison of teams)

[theangryjikooker]

ah, gosh, maybe i should come off anon, because i feel like you and i could have some really great conversations. I'm the same anon from the other day who talked about differing viewpoints/contradictory beliefs, and why i thought you were such a valuable voice in our community. I stand by that.

Your point about the things that you can't rationalize (mma 2018, jimin vlive 2021, I personally have a few other insane *** high points that I think fall under that pattern) is exactly why I genuinely think there's something going on there. This repeated pattern of high-point all-out otherwise inexplainable events that happen between them, on a fairly regular occurrence. 99.9% of what every shipper discusses is in the noise floor, or at least consistent across all (most) bangtan pairs. Jikookers are all insecure about taekook but didn't even bat an eye at that insane vmin clip that dropped just a few days ago. That kind of thing. For me its that there's a consistency between jkk. Like it's not every time, but that it's like an elastic band that whenever it gets stretched almost to breaking, it bounces back. Makes itself known. I would be interested to know your opinion on JK's posts for JM's birthday this year, especially in contrast to the post(s) he did/did not make for the other members.

I wouldn't mind comparing notes with someone who unequivocally thinks Jikook are dating or have something going on. 😊 No pressure, of course, it's up to you. I will say that I have more open discussions on Jikook and where I stand via DMs than I would express publicly.

I think where you and I might differ is that I don't think these high-impact moments happen often enough where it eliminates all doubt. And even if there were a ton of those moments, I don't think I'd be able to agree so candidly anyway, simply because of my own feelings towards RPS and the boundaries I've set for myself regarding it. If I were to achieve where you're at, I think the way it would manifest is that I'd have a lot less to say. As it currently stands, I have an opinion on most things. 😬

I will agree with you that I believe Jikook have been consistent, which I think has somewhat tapered off in the last year or so (but to be fair, there's also less visibility among them, so it's not for lack of consistency but rather we're just not seeing examples of it). It isn't that I don't think they're close, but this assessment goes hand-in-hand with what I believe is their new dynamic. That's a different topic altogether.

Anyway, Jungkook's birthday post. I don't have a fully fleshed out opinion on the matter. I mean, I do think it's endearing that he would do such a thing for Jimin–and so publicly too–but how much can we read into this, really? This is the same person who posted a photo of himself with Taehyung on IG and no other members. But neither that nor this instance is truly indicative of anything for me. I think this is a good example of how inaccurate it is to fixate on one moment and instead focus on his behavioral patterns. As it is, Jungkook's public posting for other members is consistently inconsistent, and that's all I have to gain from it.

What is maybe worth noting, however, is Jimin's lack of public response to the video. I don't think he responds to everything members post, but he is also known to respond, even if it's just a 에이이 ㅋㅋ. If we were to assume Jungkook's greeting was just a bit of silliness between them, Jimin making a funny or witty remark would be par for the course. Instead, his silence almost seems damning, but in all fairness, he could've been busy with birthday events too. Who knows.

[stewblog]

Avatar: The Way of Water

Avatar: The Way of Water has a lot going on, but there is one thing abundantly clear throughout its (interminable) 3 hour and 15 minute runtime: Director James Cameron has a boundless love for the world he has created and all of its native inhabitants. When the credits finally rolled, I was left wishing he had simply made a couple of faux documentaries about Pandora narrated by Sigourney Weaver.

Cameron takes particular pride and care when depicting Pandora’s flora and fauna. His passion for marine biology shines particularly bright in this long-awaited sequel as the majority of it takes place in, under and around water. A Pandoran whale ends up becoming one of the most endearing characters in the film. He also has a palpable love for the new family unit(s) that are introduced here. This sequel may have taken more than a decade to finally arrive, but James Cameron wanted this to be about something and not just contain wall-to-wall spectacle.

Personally, I would have preferred the spectacle compared to what we got.

For as much obvious affection as Cameron has for this world and these characters, very little of that translates into an engaging story or characters that register. This would have been forgivable and perhaps even understandable in a 90 minute, or even two hour, movie. But when you have no real story to speak of and not a single character, new or returning, feels fleshed out in a meaningful way with a runtime that outlasts The Godfather by about 20 minutes, something is horribly amiss.

Following a bit of a recap, The Way of Water picks up in earnest roughly 15 years or so after the events of the original film, which saw humans pushed out of Pandora en masse and Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), now fully integrated into his avatar body. Jake is now a father to three children with Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), as well as adoptive father to two wayward kids as well. There’s Spider (Jack Champion), the wayward human son of Col. Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang), and Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), the immaculately conceived daughter of Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver), who died while inhabiting her avatar in the previous film. All of whom are forced into exile when the regrouping human colonists are determined to kill Jake and dissolve the insurgency he leads.

These kids are the driving force of the whole thing, both mechanically and thematically, for good and ill. What story exists on the page is theirs. Sorry, Jake Sully fans, he’s only going to show up sporadically to get mad at his sons for disobeying him and little else. Neytiri has even less to do. The rest of the time we’re largely stuck with these kids attempting to settle into their new lives among a new tribe of Na’vi who have adapted and taken to the sea of Pandora the way Neytiri’s tribe flourished in its forest. This, naturally, leads to all sorts of fish-out-of-water hijinx, both literally and figuratively. The boys, Neteyam (Jamie Flatters) and Lo’ak (Britain Dalton) just want to fit in. Kiri begins to more fully realize the spiritual and physical connection she has with the planet itself. The youngest, Tuk (Trinity Jo-Li Bliss), is also accounted for.

Dull and unengaging as most of their escapades are, though, it’s during this middle stretch that Cameron shows where his heart remains. As in real life, his passion is for the sea and its inhabitants. If James Cameron could grow gills and never rise to the surface again, he would likely have already done so. You’ll not find a more vividly rendered and realized environment in a movie than the seas of Pandora. It is a space that is at once familiar and yet wholly, rivetingly alien. He presents us a dreamy vista of a submerged paradise and intentionally lingers there for extended stretches. It’s entirely digital, and yet it feels as tangible and real as anything else on a movie screen this year. There are other talented special effects houses out there, but the work that WETA Digital has put forth for this movie is something an echelon above anything else I’ve seen in recent memory.

But sumptuous underwater escapades only retain their engagement for so long here. There reached a point where I stopped being able to tell which blue alien cat boy which. Kiri’s connection to the planet can only be so meaningful without some engagement deeper than “she just feels it.” There was certainly space to play here. At its core you could say this movie was, at least on paper, intended to be an examination of fatherhood and the ways that expectations of fatherly behavior are often at complete odds with how children, and sons especially, are failed by living up to those expectations. Fathers need to be more than just a stern voice and a “protector” (the latter of which Jake Sully fails fairly spectacularly at being).

This could have been especially interesting given what’s at stake for Quaritch. Despite becoming Neytiri’s new arrow quiver at the end of the first movie, he’s now back but in Na’vi form. Ostensibly implanted with his former self’s full batch of memories and even personality, New Quaritch must now wrestle with inhabiting the build and visage of the very thing he once tried to annihilate, all while reckoning with the (now grown) son he may or may not have even known he had. A tale of two fathers, both at odds with their brood, their life and their purpose.

All of it is largely ignored. We don’t even get a perfunctory moment where Quaritch finds himself even slightly contemplating the nature of his existence and why he must remain on the path his former self set in motion despite the fact that he’s only technically that person still.

At least the final hour of The Way of Water is an absolute banger and an explosive reminder that almost no one else does large-scale, big budget action like James Cameron. It’s cleanly executed, thrilling from moment to moment and brimming with the kind of kinetic spectacle that you’d expect from the man.

And in full honesty, it’s hard to be fully mad at a mega-budget movie that is such an unsubtle diatribe against destructive environmental practices, annoying dudebros who love to play the part of military tough guys and historical atrocities enacted by colonizers. No other director would likely dare to be so brazen in their messaging with so much money at stake. But when central themes are left unexplored and characters remain frustratingly underdeveloped, all the audacity in the world can’t keep your movie from bellyflopping onto the immaculately rendered ocean surface.

[awrldalone]

24th October 2023, 8.24pm (notes written all day long)

I feel so stupid re reading what I wrote the other day. I hate my voice, the way I write. My thoughts make me sick. I am so incredibly ridiculous, always complaining, always not at ease, always trying not to be an inept, always feeling guilty - guilty about feeling good, about being sad, about not being good enough, about feeling too good. Always whining.

I am detestable. It’s beyond me how everyone around me does not find me completely abhorrent. If they read this diary they probably would see how awful I am. I’m just good at filtering things out.

I always get what I want and then I end up wanting even more, it never stops.

I arrived home late, after getting off the train. I took the metro 1, the yellow line with the striped chairs, and then I walked home. I wanted to take the metro 2, but it never came. The cold air slapped me in the face when I come out of the stairs, deservedly.

-

Yesterday I went to a serrurier, a locksmith, to pick up a package. His door was broken, the door knob limp.

-

I ate some grapes today. Green grapes, always green grapes to make the novelty of of red strawberry grapes never fade, with their thick skin and sugary taste. Persimmons, left on the counter for so long you can scoop up the bright orange flesh with a spoon. Chestnut, found on the floor, in the street, fallen from the trees after the rain. Autumn is the season of sunsets, of death — but nor for me. Autumn has always been the new beginning spring promises to be. Cable knit sweaters, corduroy, soft leather. For just a few seconds I can feel a life of cottages, mushrooms, my childhood books about fairies living in the woods and witches with a greenhouse.

And then I take a step forward, I keep walking and the illusion only leaves some faint warmth, like the palest of watercolors.

-

Today I put my resentment down and stretched in the middle of the street. It’s heavy, it hurts the shoulders to carry all of these feelings. I also let go of some of my dignity. Just a pebble. I am no Atlantis, no Hercules either after all.

A few weeks ago N. texted me, multiple times, and I did not click on the blue text, I did not read any of the words. He unsent it all, and I tried ignoring it but I can’t.

Yesterday night I could not stop thinking about his texts. Some months ago he contacted me when he was drunk, he sent a lot of slurred voice recordings in a bathroom - but he did not delete them. He wanted me to reply. This time he change his mind, apparently. But I still think about those recordings from time to time, the things he told me about himself, about me, about his boyfriend and the way he treats him. They live together, and N. does not want to anymore, and his boyfriend cheated on him multiple times, and his boyfriend is simply not a good person. Yesterday night I fell asleep thinking about N.’s situation.

And today I texted him during class, between one line of notes and the other.

He replied almost immediately, I did not. I waited for the end of class, and then I waited to get to the metro, and then I waited for my friends to leave at their stops.

And then I clicked on the icon of his face. It’s a blurry selfie, he changes it more often than I do. He said everything is all the same, but that he might be moving to London next year, so things will go better.

-

I got a 15/20 on my dissertation titled «Faut-il une constitution?» and I feel like a fraud. It does not sound like a good grade, it really does not, but compared to the people coming to university with me it’s an amazing mark. They all got from 6 to 9. And I feel like a fraud because before turning it in I asked M. if he could correct my grammar - and I know my professor would have given me a much lower grade had M. not touched my text.

He says it was all me, that he just corrected some verbs and some words, that the ideas are all mine - but still, it does not feel like a victory. I told no one in class.

-c.

[project1939]

Day 39- Film: Has Anybody Seen My Gal? 

Release date: June 25th, 1952. 

Studio: Universal 

Genre: Comedy 

Director: Douglas Sirk 

Producer: Ted Richmond 

Actors: Piper Laurie, Rock Hudson, Charles Coburn, Gigi Perreau, Lynn Bari 

Plot Summary: In 1920’s New York, a hypochondriac millionaire thinks he is about to die with no heirs. Remembering the lovely woman from his youth who refused his proposal, he becomes convinced she is what spurred him on to financial riches. What if he left his fortune to her family? He locates her descendants and decides to check them out incognito, hoping to discover that he can trust them with the money. 

My Rating (out of five stars): **½  

I’ll admit I was disappointed with this movie. It looked kind of cute and colorful and fun. Well, it was colorful. It was also a bit overly cute and a bit under the bar of fun.  

The Good: 

The color was gorgeous Technicolor in all its glory. 

Rock Hudson. He was really charming and charismatic, and his acting wasn’t stiff at all. I can see why he was just on the edge of becoming a huge star. 

The little daughter Roberta, played by Gigi Perreau. She was so natural for a child actor, I even paused the movie to look her up. By the end of the movie, however, her character was pretty grating. 

Another James Dean blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo! He played a guy at the soda fountain asking for a ridiculously complicated drink. He had literally one line. But this is the third time of the project so far he’s had that. 

The cuteness of the time period, the clothing, etc. Part of it was good fun, but... 

The Bad: 

The way the film was trying so hard to be overly nostalgic, constantly hitting us over the head with the fact that it was the 1920s. Remember prohibition? Scoff-laws? Speakeasies? Old time soda shops? Cloche hats? The Charleston? They even showed you how to do it, in case you forgot. Can you believe steak was 35 cents a pound? And eggs were 33 cents? If you compare it to Singin’ in the Rain, which also took place in the 1920s, you can really see the difference. Singin’ definitely had reminders of the time period, but the plot always took precedence. It never stood still for nostalgia p*rn. 

The way the plot went off the rails for the last hour. Forty-minutes in, daughter Millie gets engaged to Hudson, and the family anonymously receives the fortune. And there’s almost an hour left! Everything kind of fell apart from there. The plot just wasn’t structured well at all. 

I didn’t really like Charles Coburn’s millionaire character. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but I was really sick of him by the end of the movie. 

The other characters were not really fleshed out enough for me to feel really invested in them. Piper Laurie was given top billing as Millie, but I couldn’t really tell you anything about her except that fact that she was of marrying age. 

I hated the mom character. She was part of why everything suddenly went off the rails. Her personality after she acquired the wealth changed so fast it was totally unrealistic. The family mongrel? Get rid of him! We need French Poodles now! Sell the family business! We can't be working plebs anymore! Etc. 

The ending. It was also not very satisfying, not very realistic, and it left some significant strings flapping around. (Like flappers? Sorry, couldn’t resist a really bad groaner.) 

[oftarotandnoodledragons]

Seventy-Four: Five of Pentacles (Reversed)

Real cases of suffering ... tend to go unheard. This is not only because people who are genuinely suffering typically lack the resources with which to publicize their condition, but also because ... many forms of suffering deprive people of the very ability to express, sometimes even think, the fact that they are suffering. -Jamie Mayerfeld, Suffering and Moral Responsibility

He had a fever when he was in Spain, And when the fit was on him, I did mark How he did shake; 'tis true, this god did shake: His coward lips did from their colour fly, And that same eye whose bend doth awe the world Did lose his lustre. -William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

When a rule is enforced, the person who is supposed to have broken it may be seen as a special kind of person, one who cannot be trusted to live by the rules agreed upon by the group. He is regarded as an outsider. But the person who is thus labeled an outsider may have a different view of the matter. He may not accept the rule by which he is being judged and may not regard those who judge him as either competent or legitimately entitled to do so. -Howard S. Becker, Outsiders: Studies in the Sociology of Deviance

Have I stopped misposting? Okay. Good.

The overarching theme for the home straight of Tarot has been that of challenges. The Two and Five of Cups were the challenge to look at the undercurrent of much of this journey, that of coming to terms with my self-esteem; a process that is continuing. This card, the Five of Pentacles, on the other hand, is a reminder of another challenge for me: the ability to synthesise and find the meaning and application of the cards. Being of the Pentacles, and the last of them, it is apt that it talks to the physicality of the cards in this regard.

So, while I'm still looking to June 13, the blog's tenth anniversary, as a "deadline", I've not felt ready to deal with this card; and now I have a scant two weeks for the remaining four cards, some of which I know will require a lot of work (I feel like that this will play into the Eight of Wands, when it appears...). The challenge since returning to the blog post-migration is that I feel like I've not been able to tap into my intuition, that it's been dulled, and thus I've not been able to address the card and its energies in a way that I feel is fair and deep enough to crystallise my understanding and be a guidepost for future reference; similarly, some of the cards for me are faded memories and have regained unfamiliarity. That's why I lament when I feel like my posts become academic exercises, like a lecturer has asked me to "compare and contrast the approaches Bunning, Thirteen and Esselmont have on this card". But sometimes, that's all I can do, because I don't know the card; yet through that, I find some understanding.

The Five of Pentacles is a card that exemplifies this. In the way that Temperance was the first card I drew when I made my notebook, the Five of Pentacles is the second. Its notes are lacking the depth and maturity of the past ten years of experience, and partly because it was before the blog, I don't have a memorable, relatable moment to attach it to. My notes' depth of interpretation is weak, and the format I've written here seems incongruent with the standard that has since emerged; yet, I remind myself that much of the writing has come from my intuition rather than my intellect, my subconscious speaking to my conscious. The interpretations written in my book are just one foundation to my Tarot understanding: this journal is, as I intended long ago, designed to flesh this out and provide a means for new insights and greater familiarity.

Existential writing aside, let's actually take the time to look at this card. So be it, then. Extending beyond my usual four muses, Smith's imagery in the RWS version is apparently regarded as one of the most famous; I would disagree since it didn't really strike me outside of Tarot, but I would rather call it one of the most iconic, and that goes back to the very root of that word as well: icons. Given that Tarot is full of symbology, this image forms the basis of many, many interpretations of this card. Rather than derive at a meaning from my muses, I'm not going to source my interpretation because it seems so prevalent, and because it's taken from the story the card tells in the RWS imagery: two ailing peasants in the cold, trying to fend for themselves and suffering in the process outside the window of a church that they don't even look to, where there is warmth and sanctuary. That then lends itself to views ranging from lacking emotional security of one's childhood (thanks Ediya) to being too proud to accept help from others and failing as a result. From this central artistic theme is where we can then look at how my muses address it.

Let's start with Thirteen, because they discuss their cards systematically in the context of the whole. The card is a Five, and it is the instability that follows from the stability (or stagnation) of a Four. Just like the Page of Swords, they tend to be humbling challenges that will strengthen those who go through them. So since the Pentacles are that of the material realm, this card feels like it is the brother to the Five of Cups: if that one is the card of loss (and how one deals with it), then this is the card of lack. Lack is what Bunning focuses on with her themes: "hard times", especially financial hardship, "ill health", since Pentacles relates to the body after all, and "rejection", the lack of social acceptance. Esselmont expands on these, but then adds her own take: that of a "lack mindset" or fearing one doesn't have enough, where one focuses on what they don't have rather on what they do. To this all, Thirteen suggests that to deal with these energies, one should reconsider their values and focus on what one has; that the hardship teaches who one's friends truly are, who is honestly generous, and what really matters to someone.

And then we get to the Tarot Nova and Fairchild and Paschkis. Fairchild just gives all of this a glib, seemingly off-handed remark, with the majority of his prescription being that of one's hard's work and devotion to others not paying off and that one should let others know what one expects in return. That seems to go rather at odds to the accepted "canon" here. Indeed, Paschkis throws out the traditional imagery and doesn't allude to it at all: she shows a crocodile with five Pentacles on it as if it were a constellation. Compared to the richness of the RWS image I find it lacking (hah); however, the image of the toothy crocodile coming to consume is one that I can see linked to the more common themes of the card.

In my head I had thought that this card would be linked to The Tower or some other sort of loss and I was fearing it; but, this card has come out Reversed and this is one of those times that I feel like a Reversal is like night and day. Of course, that means I should temper my view to not be in complete opposition, but more in terms of the day following the night. Thirteen, in typical Thirteen style, focuses on the church and the ability of being that sanctuary; except nope, it ain't there, the peasants are on their own, cold and alone. And that's not what I'm finding right now; that's not day after night. So Fairchild and Esselmont are where I go again. Here I find more resonance, and it's woven through a lot of their prescriptions and analyses. The thought of not having enough expands into a "poverty mindset", where one feels unworthy because of their lack of possessions, that they do not deserve expensive things, that their money is spent on the trivial and not on what one desires; the call here is to determine if "I can't afford it" is a truth or a limiting factor, and that one will make it happen if they truly value it. I've been a little more outgoing with my money as of late, especially since I just went to a convention, yet I know I have debts that must be repaid. Speaking of this: Fairchild talks about a new source of income, and Esselmont talks about the end of hard times. I applied for a credit card for the first time ever and after a few weeks of silence, I was approved. Of course, it's not really a source of income, but a means to delay payments; I'm naturally cautious about it but considering that the bank offers cashback, it's a nice thing to have, and will help allow me to get a credit rating and potentially bigger purchases in the future.

But Fairchild leaves one of his esoteric yet resonant prescriptions: to learn the value of self-discipline and teamwork since they will bring rewards, and to express oneself as they choose despite others trying to make one conform. I feel this is related to my work, and it is something that I have been working on as I move through my new managerial position.

So the thing I've learned from this card is that I shouldn't be afraid of Fives; I should treat them like the Page of Swords and think of them as a challenge. Also, with this card, I've completed the Fives and also the Pentacles. The thing about the Pentacles is that it feels like it has a narrative that runs through the entire pips, and that the Five is the turning point of the tale. I would argue that it's my favourite of the four suits given its themes and internal reflections based on this critical mid-point: everything after this point is redemption and success with mature, positive energies in the Upright compared to the immature energies that come before this one.

Four cards remain and I must press on, finally feeling ready to do so. The next challenge lies with the card that I thought would be last, the redeemer, the nice departure for the blog: XXI The World. But it's Reversed. And as it is, of all the cards in the deck, The World is the card that I currently know and relate to the least. Herein lies the challenge.

[eldragon-x]

OKAY SO

Which game you wanna get into first depends on if you wanna go for the one you think you'll like the most right away or if you wanna start with something light. You can really start at any point as they all have self-contained stories.

As I mentioned, I think Red/Blue Rescue Team are the weakest entries in the series. They were the first PMD games coming out in Gen 3, with Red Rescue Team being for the GBA and Blue Rescue Team for the DS.

The story and characters for Rescue Team aren't as engaging and fleshed out as in later games and the gameplay is rough around the edges in comparison too, but it still has it's own charm and merit. It's just a hard game to go back to after having played any of the others.

Every PMD game starts with the premise of the protagonist, who used to be a human, being turned into a Pokemon. The plot of R/BRT revolves around trying to find out why that happened while the world is plagued by natural disasters that might be connected to the protag being a human in the Pokemon world.

Gardevoir, which tries to act as a guide to you, and Gengar, the main villain of the game, are the best characters in this one and have their own ties to the overarching plot. Gengar is pretty tame compared to later villains but nontheless, he and Gardevoir work well for what they are and the post-game ties up Gengar's character arc nicely.

I think I'll allow myself to include one of my favorite tracks from each game here too because every game goes hard on the music. Here is Gardevoir's theme:

And those are the Pokemon options you can get for your player character via personality test and pick for your partner. Please look at these cute character portraits:

OH ALSO! R/BRT actually got a remake on the Switch called Rescue Team DX.

I haven't played it myself but there don't seem to be much story/character changes and I'm sure the gameplay is far more up to date. I think you're also able to pick your player Pokemon rather than having to take the one assinged to you via the personality test. The only other game that does this is PSMD. Anyway here's Gardevoir's theme from the remake:

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Now, the second game in the series, Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky, is by far the most popular one and has the strongest story. It's for the DS and part of the 4th Gen.

First I need to get out of the way, I recommend you play Explorers of Sky. Time/Darkness only have a few differences in dungeons between them and quite frankly, unlike R/BRT which were for different consoles, the different versions of this game are kinda unneccessary. They luckly drop this formula for the series afterwards.

That being said, if you're going to emulate any of these games, do that with Sky because it's expensive as hell. It's better than Time/Darkness because it adds new features, Pokemon to play, and even pieces to the story, but if you really want a physical copy and end up with Time or Darkness, I suggest you at least look up the Special Episodes from EoS on Youtube after you finish the main story. Especially Special Episode 5, as it's very important to some of the major characters.

That whole mess out of the way, the plot of EoT/D/S revoles around the protagonist slowly remembering pieces of their past from when they were a human. They're also able to see either into the past or future at random. At the same time, the continent is slowly being frozen in time as Time Gears, artifacts that keep time running, are being stolen from their rightful places. The game already has some beautiful moments before it's big twist, but it gets really good after that point and turns into a pretty tragic time-travel story. I like to lovingly call Explorers the edgiest Pokemon game.

The post-game story does add to the main story, but it's not as well done as R/BRT's post-game story imo. Still worth playing though.

Here is the Time Gear theme:

And here are your Pokemon options for Time/Darkness and Sky respectively:

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Gates to Infinity is the third entry in the PMD series, being part of the 5th Generation. It's a 3DS game and is the strongest game of the series thematically and character-wise.

Now, I need to preface, people hate Gti. And to be fair, the gameplay isn't polished and it can be a slog because you can't skip dialogue. But I still think it has much more value than people give it credit for and it's genuinely one of my favorite games of all time. If you really can't stand the gameplay, I ask you to at least watch a playthrough of it somewhere.

I'd describe Gates as a game about holding onto hope through the darkest times and the importance of having a community and support system. Early on you already meet characters who come across as antagonistic but are much more sympathetic than expected and become trusted allies once you extend some compassion towards them, which is a pattern that remains throughout the game.

There are points where characters fall back into harmful mindsets and genuinely lose hope but it's always the fact that they now have other Pokemon to rely on that lifts them up again. It sounds kinda cheesy because the power of hope and friendship does literally save the world but it's so earnest and thematically coherent in what it does. The games' main villain of one of my favorite characters of all time and I honestly think her whole deal feels really raw and real especially considering it's coming from a goddamn Pokemon game.

Kind of a spoiler, but all PMD games more or less end in similar ways with the hero and partner having to part ways. Gates does something unique in that the goodbye scene at the end isn't just one short scene, but it stretches out with several tracks to accompany it, making you really sit with the grief of the situation. Not only that but in the previous games, the main characters would be reunited by the end of the credits, which doesn't happen here. Sadly the post-game doesn't offer much story-wise as it just revolves around the partner trying to reunite with the hero, but I still think Gates is an underrated gem within the series.

...yeah the limited Pokemon options are part of the reason this game is hated.

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And last but not least, Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon. The fourth entry in the series for Gen 6 and another 3DS game.

It's really hard for me to say what I like about PSMD. I don't think it has a better cast of characters than Gates or a better story than EoS. The best way I can describe it is by saying it has an unique charm and is a really good final game to the series, which is why I generally recommend people play it last.

The game has kind of a slow start because while the others allow you to get into dungeon adventures right away, the setup of this game establishes that the hero and partner are children and have to go to school where you mostly do tutorial dungeons. That might put some players off but I think establishing the hero and partner's relationship with the school kids and the villagers makes things more impactful later on. Plus there's a short arc where the kids sneak into school at night because of a rumor about ghosts haunting it and it's really fun.

The game generally deals a lot with the main characters, especially the partner, desperately wanting to follow their dreams but being held back because the adults around them try to shield them from danger. I just think it's really compelling for the game to make the main characters explicity young and have that be relevant when the previous games were more ambiguous about the characters' ages. It also helps the insanely high stakes in late game because these children are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and despite everything, the adults can do little about it.

On that note, the partner character is the most fleshed out they've ever been. I personally like the Gates partner the most but Super partner has some strong characterization and ties to the plot which makes them an especially tragic character.

When I say PSMD is a love letter to the series, I mean that it feels just as charming and impactful as the other games while somehow making the stakes feel higher. It also references past games by having characters from past games be minor characters and even recruitable Pokemon, but you don't have to have played any of the other games to understand PSMD as a whole. The ending also has a twist that hits a lot harder if you've played the previous games. I don't think PSMD is the best PMD game, but it's a fantastic conclusion to the series.

And as mentioned earlier, PSMD doesn't force you to stick with the Pokemon assigned to you via personality test, but allows you to pick a different one if you want.

if im annoying enough about pmd someone will eventually have to bite and ask me how to get into the series. but also im just genuinely unwell about it rn