#but christ alive surviving takes a lot.of effort
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#kind of a#vent post#but like. im feeling so strange now that ive put in my application for residency at my uni for next year#like on one hand im beyond excited to get out of this house and this town and actually be treated like an adult person#but now that its So Much Realer#everything just stings a little more#im working all these jobs#i enjoy one sometimes tolerate one because of my coworker and despise the third#and every bad day every rude comment every bitchfit my mum throws has me losing my mind#like why am j putting up with this. why do i do this to myself.#and like logically i know why. im doing it all and tolerating jt so that i can get put next year and Live#but christ alive surviving takes a lot.of effort#and im terrified that without the Crazy intense control my parents have of me ill flounder and not know what to do/ how to survive without#the constant surveillance ill do something stupid.#i just want my own space#control of my own time#maybe some more irl friends idfk#i have 2 mins left of my break to stop crying
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