#but by the time we got to 'we need to talk' ohhhh boy
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yardsards · 2 days ago
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absolutely enamored by rose quartz's body type and character design. especially after the pink diamond reveal. like, girl CHOSE to become a fat woman. and everyone around her (rightfully) thought she was incredibly hot for it. queen shit.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 3 months ago
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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starlightsuffered · 25 days ago
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Needy Boy Tries No Nut November (part 1)
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Info - needy boy, no sex challenge, argument, teasing, attempted cock warming
“You,” I scoffed.
“Yes me,” he said stoically.
“The boy who came in me fives times on October thirty first is going to attempt No Nut November,” I said, crossing my arms.
“Me and my friends made a deal, I plan to stick with it,” he nodded.
“Do your friends know you?”
“I would hope my friends don’t know how often I enjoy cumming inside you,” he snapped. I could tell he was already regretting his decision.
“You didn’t happen to think to ask me if I was okay with going a month without sex?” I asked.
“You can still get off,” he shrugged.
“You won’t last,” I chuckled. “No way no how.”
“Yes I will!”
“No you won’t Timothée, you’ll be doing the walk of shame to your boys within the week, if not sooner,” I smirked.
“You’re so mean,” he pouted.
“Yeah, am I mean pretty boy?” I asked, running a hand down my body and lifting my skirt slightly to show off my lacy panties. He whimpered. I swung my leg over him and straddled his lap. I began to kiss him heatedly. He responded eagerly.
He was moaning into my mouth and I let him remove my shirt. He massaged my breasts overtop of my bra. I felt him grow hard underneath me and smirked, I knew it was time to pull back.
“Why, why, why d’you stop,” his words were slurred with lust.
“No Nut November Timothée,” I reminded him.
“Fuuuuuuuck!” He snapped.
Throughout the day I did little things I knew drove him crazy. I would put my boobs or ass in his face while getting something. I giggled a lot. I bit my lip. I was touchy with him. I even had a two fake phone conversations, one to talk about how I had to masturbate now because of Timothée’s decision, because he hated me masturbating. The second was about how much I loved his cock and cum and how big he was. Neither was too terribly odd me for, I was an open person so both phone calls were plausible.
Finally, night came and we slipped into bed. I snuggled back against Timothée and as I expected, he was incredibly hard. I reached back, pretending to need a blanket but I grabbed his full balls instead.
“Ohhh,” he moaned.
“Sorry, I mean to get the blanket,” I said and got it to add a layer of warmth. I nestled down, pretending I was trying to get comfortable, but really it was just so I could rub my ass on him. I heard a whine and smirked.
“Sorry baby and I bothering you?” I asked.
“C-could you face me?” He asked. I did as he asked and fluttered my eyelashes.
“Fuck, this is even worse,” he muttered to himself.
“Something the matter?” I asked innocently.
“Can I put my cock in you?” He asked.
“No Nut-“
“I won’t be cumming, just some comfort, quiting cold Turkey is hard,” he pouted.
“Sure Timmy, just don’t cum,” I reminded him. I hadn’t worn underwear out of habit. He nestled his cock inside me.
“Mmmmm, feels good, tight,” he said. I closed my eyes, and sighed happily. But then, thrust.
“Timothée,” I wanted.
“Just one thrust won’t hurt,” he said, but I caught him tugging on his heavy balls, trying to get some relief.
“Okay,” I said. Then he did it again.
“Timmy,” I giggled.
“Just, just, three more,” he begged, and thrusted three more times, his cock absolutely quivering inside me with need.
“Ohhhh, ho, ho, my baaaaaalls,” he wailed.
“Don’t worry baby, only twenty nine more days,” I said with mock comfort.
“Twenty nine,” he squeaked and then he was over me and fucking me harder than he ever had.
“Baby, your promise,” I reminded.
“M’not gonna cum, just need to feel good,” he whined. He was so fast and needy.
“So good, fucking love this cunt!” He gasped as he fucked into me wildly.
“Oh Timmy, you’re so hard, your big heavy balls are slapping me baby,” I heaved.
“Yeah they are, you love it when I fuck you don’t you?” He asked.
“I do, I love it!” I cried. “And I love your cum, wish you could fill me up.”
“Oh I wanna, need to empty my balls. Damn baby, did you do something different, you feel like heaven,” he whimpered.
“No Timmy just me,” I said, blushing at his compliment.
“Fucking love just you,” he said.
“Baby, you’re going crazy,” I said, watching his hips drilling into me wildly.
“Je pense que je pourrais mourir si je ne peux pas remplir cette chatte de sperme ! Putain de merde, putain j'en ai besoin, j'ai besoin de verser mon sperme en toi !"
I recognized some words that he normally said.
“You said you weren’t gonna cum baby,” I reminded him.
“Not gonna, just saying what I wish,” he choked out.
“I’m gonna stop,” he said and slowed down, but as he did he started going deeper, moving to an angle that felt particularly good.
“Timothée!” I cried sharply as his slow thrust hit me in a sweet spot. I came, arching and seeing stars as I whimpered his name.
“I’m not gonna, not gonna, oh fuck I’m going to! No, I’m-“ he cut himself off by unleashing a fountain of cum inside me.
“I didn’t mean it,” he whined as he filled me. Ten ropes of cum shot inside me as he panted. I moaned as I enjoyed the full feeling.
“You failed within twenty four hours,” I gloated.
“Oh shut up, I have my reasons,” he snapped.
“And they are?” I asked.
“One, I didn’t want to do it anyone, two, my friends don’t have access to your pussy, because they’d fail too, and three this is dumb,” he ended on a whine.
“Well to be fair I thought it was dumb too,” I said, gathering him in my arms.
“Good,” he said kissing my forehead. “Let’s go again, gotta make up for the day.”
@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet t @vvsdreaming @lovelyrocker
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skylarsblue · 1 year ago
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✦Incorrect C.O.D Quotes, since AO3 is down✦
Gaz: I wanna know what exactly your type is. Y/N: I'm not just gonna give you more fodder to throw at me- Gaz: I have an idea of it already, but I want details! Y/N: No! Gaz: Like- König! Would you- Y/N: Of fuckin’ course I wanna fuck König! He’s huge, he could LITERALLY snap me in half and my dad didn’t love me, of course I want him to fuck me! Soap: *does that weird inhale-choke-cough*
— (Dick mention + a woman’s experience of a dude making gross comments. It’s funny I swear-) Fem!medic!Y/N: most of the time, people are pretty nice and sometimes impressed when when I bring up I’m a medical professional. Other times…eh.. Soap: Eh? Y/N: Sometimes you get conspiracy theorists. Soap: Ohhhh… Y/N: Some evangelists, gross dudes. Gaz: Gross dudes? What’s the worst you’ve heard? Ghost, sipping a whiskey: This outta be good. Y/N: Uh, once I told this man hitting on me I was a field doctor? He said, and I quote. “Been awhile since my last check up, mind checking me for ball cancer.” And I- Gaz: WHAT Soap: YOU’RE KIDDING Y/N: I am not. I just- I walked away. Price: Fuckin’ hell. Y/N: It’s fine. He got shot in the dick next mission, ended up with a male doctor. Ghost: Karma at its best.
- Graves: Oh FUCK YOU Y/N: Tsk, oooo…you don’t have enough money for that. Soap: HAHA!
- Soap, drunk: Back Street’s back, alright! Do do do do- Gaz, drunk on Price’ shoulders: Dodooodo- Price: Simon, get your boy. Ghost: *picking Soap up by his belt, carrying him like a bag* Yes sir.
- Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls? Gaz: Whoa hey!- Y/N: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue? Recruit: I- Y/N: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down, get a hint. Word of advice? Rather than shoot for the stars, maybe shoot your shot in your lower bracket, yeah? Recruit: Gaz: Someone get a fire extinguisher, this dudes been burned. Soap: On it. *sprays recruit with fire extinguisher*
- Soap: Nice onesie, does it come in men’s? Gaz, in his pyjamas: I think you cum enough in men for the all of us. Soap: ACK- Ghost: *slides out of the room*
- Ghost: Have you ever considered, just once, using your brain first? Soap: Now why would I do that?
- (Insert random name I HC for Laswell’s wife) Kate, after being in a bad explosion and ending up in this hospital: My wife, she’ll get upset if she sees you rubbing me like that on my chest. Diana: I am your wife. Kate …. Diana: :) Heart rate monitor: BEEPBEEPBEEPBE- Kate Hi. Diana: Hehe, hi. Gaz, in the corner: Oh to be in love. Soap: This is disgusting, why can’t I have this? >:,( Gaz: Cause your type in men is awful. Soap: Hey!
- Y/N: *walks into common room* Hello, I am very upset. I feel a meltdown coming on and you are all buff men, so I would like to request being picked up and held like a baby for a short period of time, please. Soap: Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? Y/N: Nope. König: ….*slowly approaches and picks Y/N up from under their arms* Y/N, clinging to him like a koala and hiding in his shoulder: Thank you, I appreciate you. König: *awkward back pat*
- König: :) Y/N: Bloopbloopbloopbloop- Horagi: Y/N! Y/N: What? Horagi: Tha-That is our colo-that is a dangerous man! Y/N: He’s not a dangerous man! Horagi: What are y- Y/N: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloop- König: -w-
- Price: Kid, I need you to- Gaz & Y/N: *dancing like they don’t have jobs to do* Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: That’s what’s up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: I’m in love! Price: AHEM Gaz: Oh shit- Y/N: HEEEYY captaaaaiinn, what’s uuupp ahaha… Price: *sigh*
- (Based on; Me if COD was real. Deadass. Full serious. I am not kidding) Gaz: So have you met the Captain yet? Y/N: No. Gaz: Are you nervous? Y/N: No no, I have a firm belief that they’re just people. Obviously I’ll respect him as a superior but that’s nnnnnnnnwho the hell is that? Y/N: *fucking breaking their neck* Gaz: Oh- Nope. No no, THAT is Captain. Don’t think about it. Y/N: I’m thinking about it. Gaz: That’s not allowed. Y/N: Ive done worse for less, if he asks I’m sucking it, you can’t stop me. Gaz: Jesus Bloody Christ- Y/N: Tell him to call me when he’s on leave. Gaz: Stop-
- König: *walks in* Ghost: ?? Soap: Oh, hey! Gaz: Y’a need somethi- König: *picks up Y/N under his arm while humming, leaving the room* König: I love stealing, I love taking things!~ Ghost: What the f-
- Colonel!König: I’m 42 so, I don’t- Y/N: YOU’RE 42?! Colonel!König: Yeah. Y/N: …it’s okay no one has to know babygirl~ König: NEIN! Nein, don’t call me babygirl!-
- (Based on this awful Gaz outfit I saw on Twitter) MILF!Y/N: *doing paperwork* Gaz: Would you date me? Y/N: Baby we couldn’t even get a drink together. You can’t buy me nothin. Gaz: What do you mean? :( Y/N: Look at your outfit! What are you wearing? Gaz: I think I look pretty fly. Y/N: For who, your mom? Gaz: :((
- Gaz: STOP DATING MY CAPTAIN Y/N: ….you know what, I’m gonna start dating him even harder. Gaz: What’s that supposed to mean? Y/N: You know what it means.
- MILF!Y/N: *shoving apple juice into a cart* They gon’ need nutrition. Laswell: How many kids do you have? MILF!Y/N: Eleven! Laswell: So I’m assuming your kids really like apple juice? MILF!Y/N: No but they looove orange juice but they’ve been bad this week. Laswell: What grade are your kids in? MILF!Y/N: Sixteenth grade. Laswell: PFFT Sixteenth- that’s not even a grade! So your kids graduated college? MILF!Y/N: No they, they- …where are my kids?
- (Her “kids” on the other side of the store) Price: Boys please- Gaz: I AM NOT LOSING! Soap, in a fuckin’ headlock with him: Yes you fuckin’ are!! Ghost: *slipping cookies under his mask, he did not pay for them* König: *looking for a fruity snack* Horagi: *grabbing as many packs of spicy chips as he can* Alejandro: This is a disgrace. *holding up frozen burritos* Rudy: These are worse. *motions to frozen tamales* Alex: Did you know you can use coke as rust remover? Farah: …and you want to drink it??
- Y/N: So. Kyle. Gaz, already afraid: …yes? Y/N: I found some of your old playlists… Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: You an emo? Gaz: I was a SCENE as a teenager, get it right.
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morgluvsconnie · 4 months ago
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VOW, a.arlert
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↜ CHAP.1 / not proof read , mild language , introduction / CHAP.2
A/N / hellurrrr this right here is basically just kind of an introduction to the characters & stuff so it’s kinda short? 😔 UGH I CANT WAIT TO GET TO THE GOOD PARTS (proof reading later)
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“how much?”
armin leaned back in his chair with a smug smile.
eren glanced at you, who was talking with sasha the whole time before looking back at armin.
“basketball team.”
“what?”
“if you can do it, i gotta leave the basketball team. but if you fuck up, you leave.”
armin shifted in his chair, biting the skin on his bottom lip while staring at you. you, catching him by surprise when you turned and greeted him with a small wave.
it took a while for him to wave back before he looked at eren.
“might as well turn the jersey in.” armin shook his head with a low laugh that proved he had full confidence in what he was about to do.
or, what he was gonna do.
you on the other hand, you’d finally got up to walk home with sasha after your last class ended.
you grabbed your bag, putting your papers in neatly before letting out a long exhale. “shits exhausting.” you frowned a little, carrying your bag carelessly in your hand as everyone left the room.
the halls weren’t as packed, which cooled you off as needed. but you were stressed out from the amount of work you had to do and time you didn’t have.
“you got classes after this?”
“night classes tomorrow, like two.” you mumbled, finally making it outside.
“me too.”
you then looked around campus out of boredom as sasha did the same beside you.
“you know that blonde boy you hang with?” your eyes shifting to the ground.
sasha hummed for a few seconds before letting out an ‘ohhhh’, “armin?”
“that’s his name?”
“yeah.”
“oh.”
“what? you got a crush?” she bumped you playfully, making you laugh. “hell no. he was just looking so i waved.”
sasha stopped and put her hands on her hips. “and since whennnn does the y/n, the one who’s always giving men death stares, wave at a boy she, so called, ‘don’t like’.” she used two of her fingers as quotations.
“when she bein nice.”
“which is never.” sasha tapped her head, as if she was proving something. “but, before i mess with you about whatever,”
you looked at her.
“armins not really the type to just like somebody, see what i’m sayin?” she tilted her head, looking at you.
you slowly nodded.
she continued, “i’m not saying he doesn’t like you, cus really, look at you. i’m just saying, i know armin, and if he liked someone for real, i’d be able to tell.” she scratched her head, trying her best not to hurt your feelings.
which she wasn’t, because you had none for him in the first place.
“i just don’t want you to like him and then… something happens and blah blah, shit like that.” she waved it off.
you chuckled at her poor but helpful explanation. “ion like him, we just waved at each other.” you said, passing sasha’s house and walking a few more blocks to yours.
groaned and throwing your head back, you used your key to open the door, walking in to greet your toddler…
your cat.
“ritta.” you said with a smile as she curled up, snuggling your ankles. “hello to you too.” sasha rolled her eyes, walking to your room. “hi mrs and mr l/n.” she said on the way there.
you stayed quiet, leaning down to pet ritta once more before walking to your room. “hey mama, dad.” you waved a little, making your way to your room as they spoke back.
you closed the door behind you, dropping your things immediately and groaning.
“damn, you already packing up?” sasha looked around, putting her things where you put yours. you shrugged. “tryna get outta here.”
“whyyy? your parents seem nice.”
“that’s because you’re here and my dad don’t feel like being a bitch.” you cringed, lying on your stomach across your bed.
“and i just wanna have some peace and quiet.” you glanced down at ritta, who was preparing to hop on your bed. who also somehow snuck past you. “with my child.”
sasha laughed, scrolling through her phone. “but you’re still gonna be near campus, right?”
“duh. can’t leave you.” you reached over to squish her cheek. sasha smiled.
“right. you coming over eren’s?”
“no parties.” you shook your head. “sick of em.”
“it’s not a party, just like…” sasha put her phone down to think about it. “like a get together, ion know.”
“i don’t even fuck with the same people as you.”
“you’re sayin it like you hate them.”
“okay, i don’t hang with em.”
sasha groaned, moving herself to the edge of the bed and hanging off, drawing things on the floor. “they’re cool, i promise. nobody’s really an asshole except for… eren? and jean when he’s trying to be. but they’ll like you.” she said.
you thought about it for a second before looking out the window. “tonight?”
sasha nodded, getting back up and crossing her legs in front of you. “it’s just gonna be a friend group thing.”
you looked at her with a slight confused look. “did they invite me?”
“eren invited you.”
funny, because eren didn’t even know you. not like that. you were just a friend of a friend, and so was he.
“he said you might as well start hanging with them since you’re cool with me and whatever.” she said in a sigh.
you went quiet, rethinking your thoughts. it would be less boring. but why hang around people you don’t talk to?
“i guess.” you tilted your head, rubbing your forehead.
sasha smiled and pulled you into a tight hug, shaking you around. “finallyyyy, it’s at like… nine? so we can get ready together.”
yeah, you didn’t do that. because sasha was more excited than you, which means she got ready at an earlier time than you. you laid in bed as the rambled on about how everyone acted. how everyone was cool and “niceee.” she said before snatching the sheets off of you.
“dude.” you mumbled. “i changed my mind.”
“no, you didn’t. come on, stop bein boring.” she shook you aggressively, making you push her hands away with an aggravated laugh.
“i’m not changing no clothes for this.”
“put on pajamas, duh.” sasha pointed at her own clothes. you pursed your lips together and shook your head. “yeah. no. all my pajamas are… either embarrassing or make me look like i’m seeking male validation.”
“well let’s switch pants and you can wear a hoodie like i am.” sasha took her pants off and tossed them to you.
“you… are too comfortable around me.” you sat on your bed, taking your pants off and putting hers on. sasha searched through your drawer while looking for some of your pants.
“damn, you were right.” she said, tilting her head at the cookies that had faces on your pants. you smiled a little, standing up and slipping on your shoes.
“okay, where he live? i’m not walking far, sasha.”
sasha rolled her eyes at your complaining and grabbed her phone. “not far. like down the block, we all live close to campus so, you know.” she shrugged, walking out of your room and to the living room.
“uh,” your mom stopped you where you were. you sighed and turned around. “where are you going?” she looked at you and sasha.
sasha looked at you awkwardly, knowing she was a bad liar when it came to anyone’s parents but hers.
“just to a friends house.” you said, staring at your mom.
she stared back, looking at your clothes. “you know when to be back, correct?”
a college student shouldn’t have a curfew outside of college.
“sure.” you muttered, turning around to walk out the door.
your mother mumbled something under her breath as you and sasha walked out, you shaking your head and closing the door behind the both of you.
“what’s her problem?” sasha said as you got to the end of the driveway, looking back at your house as she put her phone in her pocket.
“what isn’t?”
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petew21-blog · 3 months ago
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Poolverine
Spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine
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Deadpool and Wolverine aproached Cassandra while the others were battling her soldiers. Wolverine was suppressing his rage, Deadpool, on the other hand, was suppressing his words. He was still talking, just not as much as he would normally.
Cassandra Nova was ready for everything. After all, she was here for her whole life. She has seen everything. Even Loki escaping from the void. But now, these two basically immortal beings stood in front of her. One was a bigger paij in the ass than the other.
Deadpool:"Ok, Baldilocks slash wannabe Walter White in your kingdom. We know we had our ups and downs from the moment you killed Johnny, may he rest in peace. We loved him and will never forget him. But I gotta rain on your parade here, and I hope your bald head is not too sensitive for some cold rain drops, because now is the time to let us all go and end this drama show."
Wolverine:"You said you'll be holding back."
Deadpool:"Ohhh, this is holding back. I haven't even started."
Wolverine:"She has the power to kill you with a snap of her fingers, and you still think the best way to stop her is to insult her?"
Cassandra just stood in front of them, speechless.
Deadpool:"I think your X-men spoiled you with all the WE'RE-ALL-IN-THIS-TOGETHER attitude. Well, pal! This is my show, and here, we roast our enemies before we stab them after many unsuccessful attempts, moment of desperation and a collab with Madonna."
Cassandra:"I have no idea what he is on about, but the two of you look like a married couple after twenty years of hating each other's guts. And you know what couple therapists always say to the unfunctional couple?"
Deadpool:"Yep! They say, ‘You either learn to compromise… or one of you learns to hide the body really well.’ So, which one of us is digging tonight, Logan?!"
Cassandra:"I just... How do you put up with him?"
Logan:"I have known him for like 5 hours and killed him several times."
Deadpool:"And so did I! Cute, aren't we?"
Cassandra:"I can't... See each other's perspective and get out of my sight."
The two were now transported via portal back to one of the worlds to empty Xavier mansion.
Deadpool, now in Wolverine's body, stood up and looked down. "Ohhhhh, baby, yesss. Look at these!!!" Wade now popping his new claws. "Snikt! Yeaaaah. Oh, I could get used to this."
Deadpool turned his head to the audience and said:"Hey folks. Not to alarm you. Deadpool is still here, just a slightly broody and hairier version. Only now I got! Claaaaaws!!!" Wade sliced through a nearby painting that immediatelyfell down, destroying a statue on the table. "Whoopsie. Just normal Wolverine collateral damage, am I right?"
Logan:"What the hell is this? Why am I suddenly feeling... chatty? I need to get of this tight red spandex and this horrible mask."
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Deadpool is now doing ridiculous poses in the reflection of a mirror. Screaming and scratching the air. "Look at me, I'm like a Canadian action figure." Wink at the audience.
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Logan:"Stop this Wilson. We need to get Charles."
Deadpool:"Oh I don't know, I got this sudden urge to sing and get a circus. We shouldn't waste time."
They both search the house, but all the X-men are gone.
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Now in the privacy of a small bathroom. Deadpool, stands in front o the mirror, shirtless, flexing. "Ohhhh look at that". He pops out his claws again. "If only I had these babies during my last taco truck robbery .- I mena, purchase."
Deadpool grabs a comb on the sink. "The hair! What an untamed mane. I look like a mix between a badger and a bad scripted shampoo comercial." Then he leans closer to the mirror. "And check out this jawline. Ladies and gents, feast your eyes."
"One, two, three, four, five...six! Finally jackpot. It's really like a washboard for all my dirty clothes. I could do laundry on these bad boys, If I ever did laundry."
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"And what do we have here." Deadpool raises his furry eyebrows, following the hairy trail under, leading to the massive buldge. "Oh Logan, I knew you've been hiding some serious adamantium down here, but damn. No wonder all the X-men want to sleep with you. Pun intended. I mean... If I knew that you had this much heat packed in here, I would have switched with you sooner."
Wade strikes a final pose and blows a kiss to his reflection:"Wolvie, you beautiful, hairy beast, I may never give this body back to you."
Logan enters the bathroom with a scowl, freezing in horror at the sight before him.
Deadpool in Logan's body, completely naked and a little too pleased with his new situation.
"What the hell are you doing, Wade!!!"
"Hey, Wolvie. Just getting acquainted with the goods. Man, you've been holding out for me. Honestly, If there was a claw shooting out of this thing, I wouldn't even be surprised anymore." Wade said with a smile, gripping his hard dick in Logan's face
"Get your filthy hands off my...!" Logan fighting the urge to kill his own body
"Logan, it's your hands, don't forget that. So that means I did nothing wrong. Your body that touched yourself. I haven't touched anything, if you think about it." Towards the audience:"It's like flashbacks from puberty."
"Besides, I only wanted to take your body for a test drive, Logan. You know, making sure that all the gears work before returning the keys. Quality control!"
"If you don't stop now, I'll claw off that smug off your... your real face when we get back" Logan gets closer to his old body, now feeling a strange urge to want him to get closer. Both of the bodies pulling towards each other
Deadpool:"Logan? Did you pay Magneto to get us closer? Cause I feel a strange force pulling me to you and I have to say i don't mind it"
Logan:"I'm not doing anything. I... No way. I'm trying to go away from you"
Deadpool:"Oh yeah, it's happening, baby. My body can't resist this beautiful, hairy pile of muscles, and your body is controlled by one of the most perverted minds alive."
"YOU SICK BASTARD. This is all your twisted head. If you'll be enjoying even a second of this." Logan shouted
Deadpool:"Oh, come on. It's just chemistry. You can't fight it"
Logan:"Gotta get control of this."
Deadpool:"No need for that. Your body's got the hots for me. I'm a walking talking thirst trap now. Give in, big guy. Let's make it weird."
Logan now with his new hands still in spandex, touching his old body. "Wade... When this is over... I'm going to make you regret all of this."
Deadpool:"I'm counting on it. But until then, you're mine"
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Wade pulls of his old mask down from Logan's head:"Ohhh there is that crispy chipsy face I haven't seen for a while". Logan:"Please just shut up"
Their hands our now all over each other. Logan's burly figure standing above Deadpool's figure. Logan's body under Wade's control now pushes his old body towards the wall. Breaking it. They get to Cyclops and Jean's bedroom, now vacant, ready for their action. Dadpool starts making out with his body still on the ground from the collision. Logan wants to fight back, but gives up and makes out with his bearded face. It feels kind of nice, but he can't ever admit that to Wade.
Wade picks up Logan from the ground using his claws, and with their help, he rips of the spandex off of Logan. Scratching him in the process. Logan now moaning in pain, looking deeply into his old eyes. He now understands why many people called him a "beast." He did look like one. But sexy one at that.
Wade threw Logan on the bed. Turning him around. Logan was ready for immediate penetration, but suddenly he felt a moist thing pushing its way between Deadpool's hairy ass. Was he now experiencing rimming? "Wade, no...!"
Deadpool:"Don't worry, sweetpie. I know what my body likes. Just relax, enjoy and don't fart in my face"
Logan has never felt this feeling in such an intimate place. And it wasn't even his body.
Wade now turned Logan to his back. He positioned himself. "Ready? I know you're used to pain, but this might be a bit... unsettling."
Logan:"I can take a bit of pain... AHHHHHHH"
Deadpool."Sorry, boo. Haven't stretched out that thing for quite a while."
He started pushing more and more. At that moment, Logan tried to get up and leave. But something in Logan's body overtook Wade. He took both of his claws and pushed them through Deadpool's body's forearms, securing him in place. Logan screamed in pain. "Why???"
Deadpool:"Don't want you to give up during the best part when it stops hurting"
Sweat was dripping from Logan's body all over Deadpool's. All of Logan's hair were now glistening in sweat.
"Ohhhh moth.... This is so amazing. I feel like a Republican during the Fourth of July" Deadpool screamed out while his claws were still in place.
He picked up the pace, and when he saw that Logan was now moaning in pleasure and not in pain, he took out his claws and just enjoyed the ride.
"Oh Wolvie. I think I'm gonna get you pregnant now."
"Just fuck me!!!"
Now very close to the finish, Deadpool took out his dick and pointed it at his old face, cumming all over his old chest and hitting his body's eye. Logan came too, but on his stomach. He was still mesnerized. How come, through all these years, he never even thought about stimulating his prostate?
Both now watching each other, sweaty, out of breath.
Logan:"You won't tell a soul."
Deadpool looking at the audience, smirking:"Promise"
And at the corner of the room a quiet girly voice spoke out:"Promise". Kitty sunk into the wall leaving embarassed to the next room
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Message from Inbox :)
Yo, i love your writing. And with your last story with Hugh and Ryan....What about their characters?, Wolverine and Deadpool swapping bodies thanks to Cassandra Nova powers that also made them aroused for each other in order to distract them from stopping her. Wade can't help but to give into Logan's body urges to dominate, and Logan just want the voices gone.
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bubbleberrypunch · 1 month ago
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Ohhhh my god, this would fit so well as a shuggy AU
Buggy gets caught up in all the chaos of the robbery and hides out in a secluded space, but the robbers find him and- they pause. Just completely freeze where they stand. And then they're scrambling back while mumbling up a frenzy between themselves about how that's "him", he's "the guy". "Boss would kill us if we touched him!" So, Buggy is left there cowering on the floor in absolute confusion because what the fuck is going on??? The robbers leave, police come, Buggy sneaks out to go back home since he doesn't wanna talk to the cops (he's definitely done/doing illegal stuff).
He's home and that's when he decides to do some research, which is just looking through news channels and websites and social media ect ect. He's about to just go to bed when he sees that it's suspected the RHG ((Red Hair Gang (dumb name, in Buggy's opinion)) is behind the robbery, among other things. Buggy blows a major fuse when he reads who their leader is. Fucking Shanks. The red haired boy Buggy grew up with and left in the past. HE'S A CRIME LORD NOW!? And he obviously told people about Buggy- Buggy does NOT want to be caught up in gangs and shit. Why did Shanks even talk about him? What for?? God, and Buggy just moved back to his home city a few months ago, he doesn't need this! He slams his laptop closed and starts calling up contacts on his phone; he needs to find Shanks ASAP!
Okay, maybe he was being rash. Because once he finished calling people to look for more information, he finally went to bed. Wakes up in the morning and the realization dawns on him: HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE SHANKS! Why the hell would he want to go see that bastard?! Wouldn't that just make things worse??? It'd be better for him to just forget about it and not go chasing ghosts. Right, so he gets up with the final decision that he isn't going to do anything at all and will stay at home today. And then there's knocking on his door. Buggy instantly breaks out in a cold sweat. Creeping along his hallway, stumbling through his living room, hesitantly standing at the door and sees someone he doesn't recognize through the peep hole. His breathing becomes shaky, jumps out of his skin when the person knocks again with a tad bit more aggression. His hand is trembling when he slowly reaches up to turn the door knob (Gah! He forgot to lock the damn door! Is he trying to get killed?!). Buggy cracks the door open a sliver to peer out at the stranger before him.
"You Buggy?" The unknown man asks, staring straight into Buggy's soul.
"Uh, y-yes...?"
"Come with me." He makes a motion to follow him while turning to walk off.
"Why the hell should I?! I don't know who you are!" Buggy grips the door so tight his fingertips become pale.
"My boss wants to see you." The guy stands there, half turned, and staring at him with thinly veiled annoyance.
Tapping his fingers against the door in quick succession, eyes darting here and there to avoid any more eye contact, Buggy tries to come up with- with something! Anything! He needs to stall for time.
"C-Can I at least get dressed...? Before we go? I just got out of bed, you see...", he trails off and lets out a nervous chuckle. The man heaves a big sigh, shoulders drooping, and nods his head yes. Closing the door in a somewhat calm matter, Buggy all but scrambles back to his bedroom.
Oh, no! That's definitely one of Shanks's henchmen, isn't it? It's very clear now that when you go around asking about gang leaders, word travels fast. Way too fast for Buggy's liking, that's for sure! He can't go. He absolutely cannot! What's Buggy going to do? He's trapped! Tears roll down his face because he's highly emotional, and his vision blurs while he gets dressed into his normal day wear. He takes a glance at his bedroom window...
Yeah, he's clambering out the window. Falls out of said window, the metal he lands on is not comfortable in the least, and then he begins climbing down the fire escape. He'll just hide out at one of his friends', probably go to Alvida's place. Stay there for a few days, lay low until he's sure no one will be hovering over his home for when he gets back. As soon as he's got just a few more ladder rungs to go, the ground is right there under him, Buggy is yanked and thrown off! No! So close! Buggy is now being held by someone who clearly did training of some kind, his ribs are gonna splinter. So, there wasn't just one guy here to retrieve him. Great.
Buggy is dragged from the alley and towards a black vehicle, all but tossed into the backseat. He sees through the tinted window the first guy walking out of the apartment building and to the driver's side, the second man sits in the front seat.
"Put your seatbelt on."
A withering sigh leaves him as he reluctantly obeys. Guess that's it, huh? There's no escape now, unless he wants to jump out of a moving vehicle and risk getting fatally injured. At least Buggy had enough sense to grab his phone- if he ends up being held against his will at wherever he's being taken, his friends can just track it. Closing his eyes and crossing his arms tight across his chest, hunching in over himself, he leans his head against the window.
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bluewxrld07 · 10 months ago
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You Da One
This is PART 2 to the instagram AU for She's All I Wanna Be (Trevor Zegras)!! Have fun seeing who she winds up with ;) I wrote this while listening to You Da One by Rihanna so enjoy this as much as I enjoyed making it!!
Warning(s): none
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by jackhughes, tatemcrae, yourbff, colecaufield, and 1,267,984 others
yourusername wait this isn't a hockey game...?
tagged: yourbff
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yourbff It most certainly is not 😏
tatemcrae 👀
user1 oh??? What's happening yourbff and tatemcrae???
user2 I need the FBI agents in here to do their digging FAST
jackhughes I was not expecting THAT when I answered the phone
user4 WHAT'RE WE MISSING????!
yourbff just posted a photo!
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liked by tatemcrae, yourusername, l_hughes03, jackhughes and 1,005,953 others
yourbff Yay sports!!
tagged: yourusername
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user1: Is that where I think it is....
user2: Y'all I'm so lost what's happening
yourusername can't wait till next time 😝
jackhughes oh we are so there next time yourusername yourusername 'We' as in you and who? jackhughes jackhughes 'We' as in the whole crew yourusername Oh boy
user3 Y'ALL SHE WAS IN CINCINNATI WATCHING THE BENGALS
user4 Her and yourbff were sitting right in front of my mom and I, they were so sweet!
*liked by yourusername, yourbff*
user5 Anybody else catching onto y/n saying 'next time'??? sus?????
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, joeyb_9, trevorzegras, tatemcrae, jackhughes and 4,962,195 others
yourusername You are the one that I think about always
user had limited comments on this post
celebrityweekly just posted a photo!
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celebrityweekly NEW POSSIBLE COUPLE ALERT??!!
Hold onto your seats everyone, because this one is gonna be a ride!!!
Well-known gym influencer and heavy lifter, y/n l/n, was seen with her best friend, y/bff/n, recently in Cincinnati, Ohio at a Bengals NFL Game!!! That's not the best part... some sources who had been at said game had admitted to seeing the famous influencer LEAVING with FAMOUS BENGALS QUARTERBACK JOE BURROW!!!! Some said the two seemed to be quite cozy, more sources sending in these recent pictures during y/n's time in Cincy getting nice and close with the Quarterback!
Click the link in our bio to read more!!!!
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user1 ohhhh TEAAAAAA
user2 If this isn't a major kick to the nuts for Trevor idk what is lmfao
user3 OH I just KNOW Trev's kicking and punching air rn
user4 this took an unexpected turn of events
user5 NOT HER BFF AND COLE LIKING THIS POST LMFAO
user6 She deserves a guy like Burrow, I hope this is true!!!
yourusername just posted a photo!
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yourusername you got me smiling' all the time :)
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user1 I wonder who she's talking about in this oop-
tatemcrae So happy to see you happy
yourbff aye yo bro who got you smiling' like that like..?!
yourusername You bro 😘 yourbff Damn right bae 😚
jackhughes The fact you're smiling with teeth for a photo proves my point in the gc
yourusername I do smile!! We're not having this argument again l_hughes03 he's got a point tho yourusername yourusername *quietly unadds Luke from gc* l_hughes03 It's not quiet when you're announcing it on your ig colecaufield when did we decided to leave the gc and start this in her comments?? Why wasn't I informed? yourusername because this is NOT happening in my comments jackhughes Who's your little crush that got smiling with teeth y/n/n?? yourusername yourusername like I said earlier, it's yourbff yourbff exactly jackhughes
user2 we ALLLLL know that it isn't yourbff who is making you smile like that
*liked by jackhughes*
user3 I think we all know it's a certain guy you've been seeing miss y/n
*liked by jackhughes*
joeyb_9 just posted a photo!
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joeyb_9 Hawkeye
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user1 He's so fine like hello
lahjay10_ Man's got game on and off the field 🤩
user2 Ja'maar really hinting at Joe's thing with yourusername has me dead lmao
user3 If this mans isn't with yourusername I might actually start a riot
user4 I think there's more updates saying she's in Cincy for their game on Sunday!!!
yourbff Stop hogging
joeyb_9 No hogging over here
jackhughes I can't argue with this one
jackhughes just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, colecaufield, trevorzegras, yourusername, l_hughes03, edwards.73 and 946,994 others
jackhughes We're missing one because she was too cool to hang
tagged: yourbff, l_hughes03, colecaufield, yourusername
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user1 JACK CALLING HER OUT FOR BEING IN CINCY RN IM DEAD
colecaufield definitely didn't fly out here JUST to see yourusername
l_hughes03 definitely didn't make a fort in the living room JUST for yourusername to sleep in
yourbff definitely didn't save subs from the best deli on the corner for yourusername
yourusername You're all such drama queens
colecaufield nope just a little heartbroken is all 🥲
*liked by jackhughes, l_hughes03, yourbff*
user2 Something's cooked here lmfao
user3 What's funny is seeing Trevor like posts from time to time. we know he lurkin'
trevorzegras just posted a photo!
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trevorzegras My one and only
tagged: dixiedamelio
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user1 y'all I think he misses y/n lmao
user2 Tell us you secretly miss yourusername without actually telling us 💀
dixiedamelio Always been me 😍
user3 maaaan she thought she ate with that comment
user4 gimme that plate dixiedamelio because you DID NOT EAT
*liked by yourbff*
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, tatemcrae, joeyb_9, lahjay10_, jackhughes and 3,469,998 others
yourusername You are the one that I dream about all day
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yourbff Whose house is that??? 👀
lahjay10_ I agree, whose house is it? Looks familiar... * liked by yourbff*
colecaufield I cannot wait to see what the hype is all about
jackhughes Answer the gc yourusername I KNOW you not sleeping
yourusername 😚 jackhughes
user1 I love how Ja'maar got in on this lmfao, there's not backing out of this now
user2 Girly admit it... you are with the finest and best QB in the league
user3 Oh she's definitely bagged this guy
user4I cannot wait to meet you at the tailgate! Where can I find you at?
yourusername Find me by the pong table tournament!! ☺️
yourbff fr tho, your fit is gonna slay gf
*liked by yourusername*
colecaufield just posted a photo!
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colecaufield spotted a rare y/n sighting by the beer pong
tagged: yourusername
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user1 Did anyone else meet her????
user2 I did, I ran into her by the drinks table! She's so sweet and actually so much prettier in real life omfg
*liked by yourusername*
jackhughes Leave it to Cole to sprint towards the beer pong to tackle y/n
yourusername Y'all could've warned me, I'm in heels colecaufield There was no time, I'm too fast 😎 yourbff and too short to point out in the crowd colecaufield I'm blocking you I swear yourbff l_hughes03 She's not wrong. Had to put her on my shoulders to find you colecaufield colecaufield I regret being friends with any of you
yourbff just posted a photo!
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yourbff Sorry to the people below us who had to deal with our screams
tagged: yourusername, tatemcrae
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tatemcrae It's a lifestyle now ok
yourusername it's law
jackhughes I've never seen this type of energy at our games from any of you🤔
yourbff It's different jackhughes
colecaufield hmmm different how may I ask? 😏
tatemcrae That's a y/n question yourusername That's not a y/n question
user1 This friend group joining the NFL friend group is what I'm striving to see
user2 Trevor wishing y/n got like this for him rn
user3 I just know he's having so many regrets lmfao
yourusername just posted a photo!
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yourusername My love is your love, your love is my love
tagged: joeyb_9
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yourbff So proud you found your lobster 💜
jackhughes you deserve that happiness you searched so long for y/n/n
colecaufield And I thought jackhughes was tall...
l_hughes03 go off y/n!!
trevorzegras I miss you
joeyb_9 just posted a photo!
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joeyb_9 My love is your love, your love is mine
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tobbotobbs · 2 years ago
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what about cod men with reader who BLASTS music like ayesha erotica, nikki minaj and etc randomly while chilling or has headphones and does that while on field
Ohhhh I think they would probably be all so confused or worried if it happened in the middle of a mission lol, here my thoughts to that scenario:
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When Ghost heard you playing Nasty from Ayesha for the first time on the middle of interrogating someone they captured and kept alive on their mission, he was very irritated. Soap tried to get the new, right information out of the soldier meanwhile you two and Gaz stood in the darker corner, staring at the horrified man as you quietly sang the lines of the song playing over your headset.
,,Damn I'm sorry I blew you off, I was doing lunch with Microsoft. I'm sucking off a C.E.O, if he's not a millionaire then I've got to go~"
,,What the hell?! Y/n quit that singing! What even is that?", Ghost looked disgusted at you, questioning why he was even befriended with you in first place but quick to remember that you're actually his favorite person on earth, except for when you were listening to sich filth. In the middle of a mission. He quickly became used to it though, just told you once in a while to keep it down or put the music off if the operation was in need of your attention. He didn't enjoy the music as it was, the text too vulgar and flithy for his liking, but he couldn't deny that the melodies of some of your songs were quite catchy sometimes. Of course he grew even more annoyed when you and Gaz would play songs together on base and Soap would jump in on it with his ugly singing.
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He didn't knew you were listening to that kind of music. He sometimes heard you playing some songs as loud as you could in your room, but he never understood a thing of what was sang and your door was always locked, as if to keep people out from seeing you dance some kind of risky dance to this music. Oh boy, if he knew.
Emo Boy was suddenly playing. It scared the shit out if Soap, Kyle and yourself even though it was your ringtone.
,,Oh shit! Sorry guys, Mama's calling. Don't wait for me with the movie!", you were smiling at them and quickly picking up and talking to your mum over the phone.
,,Was that-", ,,Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica?", ,,Oh. My. God. I heard that right?!!?", ,,Yeah...I didn't know Y/n would listen to that type of music Soap!", ,,Me neither Gaz...it's a catchy song though", ,,Oh it really is. Probably why he chose it?", ,,Yeah...you think he's also into other songs of that genre?", ,,Maybe. Are you?", ,,Oh hell nuh. Not me, no no".
Gaz raises a brow at that and smirks. Then they both start laughing. ,,Oh you are so listening to this kind of music man!", ,,Pah, and if I am? You knew the song by name and artist by just a few seconds of melody playing!", ,,Ah yeah you got me there mate heh"
,,Alright guys, I'm back! Let's start this movie night shall we?", you grinned and sat next to Kyle again, who just smiled at you and nodded, reaching for the remote control. ,,Tell me, is that the music you alway listen and dance to in your room?", ,,Uhm yeah, whx Kyle?", ,,...Wanna show me one of those dances someday?", he grinned suggestively and you just giggled at that.
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Oh this man showed you this tyoe of music, actually. He was playing some song from Doja Cat on the radio of the car from his so nicely called "Hype or Horn Me Up" playlist. You were confused at first. The words used in the songs were...interesting. And Soap was dancing and tapping to it like he was in some dance off. It was amusing and fun. Of course his taste in music wore off on you and so it surprised noone on the team when you were running past them on the field, gun in hand while looking as if you had the time of your life, the could hear for a short time the music blasting through your headphones as you went to go for the next kills.
,,I ain't tryna be cool like you hmmhmhmhmm", you sang while aiming to shoot an enemy, the new song coming on another Doja Cat favourite of you and soap. Hitting the target clean in the head you smirked. ,,I'm bitch. I'm a boss. I'm bitch, I'm a boss, I'm a shine like gloss!", ,,Oi yes you are Darlin!", Soap beamed from behind you. Price was just sighing and pinching his nosebridge while Ghost was just standing next to him like an annoyed older sibling.
You guys would play this type of music all around the base, 24/7. All week long. Until Price got so mad he made you do the dishes and gave you one month of cleaning duty. You did in fact not keep it down afterwards and everyone just had to live with it. Some of the younger recruits actually enjoyed it and envied you guys for that, made them feel less stressed and more relaxed.
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Oh boy. Oh. Boy. He nearly died. First time you blasted that music on the car ride to some pub out of town because you guys all got some time off duty? He was thinking about how he could never go to heaven now, or even just into a church. He would perish just standing on the steps of a church. But then he remembered, he wasn't even religious. So that was fine. But then he thought "Why the fuck is this muppet listening to THAT?!!?!?". You currently sat in the driver's seat and danced to S.L.U.T by Bea Miller. Before that a song way worse was playing, Price recalled (it was I Want Your Bite by Cara Cunningham). This one now wasn't too bad. It was quite nice actually. Way more innocent than ghe other one. John was thankful for that, he grew very hot and was all flustered by the other song which made him feel a little uncomfortable.
,,Oh we're nearly there Cap!", ,,Y-Yes. Just...just put the car to a stop yeah?", ,,Whatever you say Captain!", you smiled while the next song came on. ,,Oh my god this one is so good!". Price looked over to you, awaiting something more innocent again like before. He thought wrong.
,,Ride it, slide it, bite, get inside it
Come on, touch my body
I know that you like it, you can't hide it
Come on touch my body
Hotter, bigger, faster, longer, thicker
Come on touch my body!", you sang loud and proud to the lines of Treat Me Like A Slut by Kim Petras. John officially was a tomato now. He loved seeing you having your fun, but this was surely and never will be his kind of music choice.
,,Treat Me Like A Slut, little dirty bitch I love to fuck!", ,,Okayyy I think it's- oh look there's the pub! Get us a good parking lot and then we'll have some fun kid, a'right?", ,,Yes!".
Poor guy always gets all red when he hears some of his boys play such music. And with Soap and you, and occasionally also Kyle, on his team that was a lot of times. But he wouldn't be too mad about it. Just sometimes id you played it too loud or while he was in an important meeting. He did enjoy seeing you all have your fun so he is not too strict with punishments.
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You are playing some pretty filthy, nasty song in your shared house. Ale just came back from grocery shopping, Rudy in tow helping him with the bags. You were wearing just a shirt and boxers while singing to the song, looking through some magazines on the couch and just waiting for Alejandro to be back. He new of your guilty pleasure for those songs, this kind of music. He adored the way you would get all red sometimes when he talked about it to you, but he doesn't judge. He actually listens to songs like this as well. Obviously in spanish. He showed you some in his native language and you enjoyed them, even if you didn't know what was said.
Alejandro would laugh sometimes when you randomly put the music on while you were in a fight. It always made his mood go all the way up hearing and seeing you enjoy this music, especially if you would listen to the spanish ones he had shown you. For him it is no problem. He trusts you with being focused on missions so he allows you to listen to music, sometimes you even listen together over the radio.
The same goes for Rodolfo, but the poor guy would be worried sick if you would start blasting loud music on missions out of nowhere. Give the little guy a warning beforehand so he doesn't shoot you out of shock hehe. He also shows you songs in spanish, some that are not as filthy as yours but have the same kind of energy and he translates them for you.
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Little german/austrian boy listens to filthy music himself. He is the biggest Rammstein fan there is. One of his favourite songs is probably Bück Dich (Bend Over) and Dicke Titten (Big Boobs/Big Tits). He also really enjoys Labyrinth by OOMPH! It's not really filthy with words but the meaning is pretty dirty. It's also a banger like, he was so happy you enjoyed listening to music with him. To that kind of music as well. He really wantes to visit a Rammstein concert with you someday, if you said yes.
He doesn't listen to music on the job though. And because he's your colonel he asked you kindly to not do it either. On the flight to wherever the mission was? Yes of course he will even listen with you to calm his nerves. At the base? Sometimes he even gets Horangi to join you guys, who really hates this kind of music because he heard too much of it in hia home country (he absolutely hates kpop and all the horny people coming with it).
When you showed him some of your favourite artists and they would sing too fast or use words he didn't understand, you would try to translate for him and the most funny german ever. He told you it was fine to try to explain in english but you really wanted to make him happy and maybe even laugh a little when you tried to explain that the person in the song just sang "Ich möchte in deinen Titten ertrinken" (I wanna drown on those tits/boobs of yours). He is so sweet if someone came up and would make fun of you listening to such music, like he would finally use his rank for once and make them regret for ever saying that to you.
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igbylicious · 1 month ago
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Are you going to give spoilers for the next chapter?
ohhhh i hadn’t planned to but i mean… 👀 ask and ye shall receive 👀
here are the first ~650 words of the next part under the cut, as a lil teaser! no warnings, just San being the goodest boy ♡ & Mrs Yoon making a comeback uwu
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By the time San gets back to the apartment building after his late afternoon gym visit, the sky is already darkening and a crisp smell hangs in the air from an autumn shower that recently passed by. It’s invigorating, keeping San bright and alert despite the satisfying ache in his body from his post-workout exhaustion.
He picks up the mail on his way back; including yours, of course. His key chain has been a little heavier for a good while now with yours added to the bunch, but he likes the weight and jingle of it in his hand.
San absentmindedly sifts through the mail as he waits for the elevator to come down. Finally the door opens with its familiar ‘ding’ — revealing one of San’s neighbours inside.
Mrs Yoon, to be exact.
“Oh! Hi, Mrs Yoon,” San says awkwardly, standing aside to let her through. He tries not to think about the last time he talked to the old lady, which only makes him think about it harder, an embarrassed heat burning under his skin.
Mrs Yoon gives him a crinkled smile as she steps out the elevator. “Hello, young man,” she politely greets him back.
There’s a cheeky glint in her eyes, and San can’t decide if it’s a mercy or a torment that she doesn’t acknowledge their previous conversation, leaving it all unspoken between them. Instead she simply wishes San a pleasant evening and starts to walk past him, going about her business without embarrassing him any further.
It’s probably intended as a mercy — but something nags at San as Mrs Yoon leaves, and he realises he can’t let her go just yet.
“Ah, Mrs Yoon, could you wait a moment? Please?” he asks. “There is something I’d like to talk about.”
She stops her little shuffle towards the exit, blinking at San in surprise. “Of course, dear. What’s on your mind?”
What’s on his mind? You. You are.
Specifically, the jaded resignation on your face when you’d brushed off San’s concern about Mrs Yoon’s boyfriend-comment; when you told him you’re used to it.
He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like that you need apathy to shield yourself from a world that’s oblivious to your lived experience at best, and at worst believes it’s something to be fixed. San isn’t naive; he knows he can’t take away society’s constant pressure for romantic attachment by himself. But there is something he can do right here and now.
Maybe today, he can be your shield instead.
“Um, Mrs Yoon, when we ran across you the other day… I just wanted to say, she’s not my girlfriend,” San says with calm warmth, a friendly smile on his face. Making it clear as politely as possible that he’s not starting a discussion, just stating a fact.
Mrs Yoon blinks at him in confusion, but then she breaks out in a smile of her own, filled with misplaced understanding.
“Ahhh, I see! And the other young man, he is not your boyfriend then, hm?” she grins slyly, like she’s in on some covert plot of secrecy. “I got it, your secret is safe with me. Though if I can give a piece of advice; a little more discretion wouldn’t hurt if you want to keep it a secret for much longer! If an old biddy like me has figured it out, then I can’t be the only one.”
San sighs a weary chuckle at the further misunderstanding. “No, no there’s no secrets. Wooyoung is my boyfriend,” he says, and Mrs Yoon’s confusion comes back tenfold. “But it’s different with her. We’re… We are friends. Really close friends. She’s very important to me.”
Something softens in Mrs Yoon’s face at San’s simple earnestness. She scratches her chin as she mulls it over, but eventually comes to a decision with a firm nod. “Hmm, well. Nothing wrong with that either, I suppose. Just as long as you three treat each other right.”
The safe politeness in San’s smile melts away, making way for honest happiness. “We do, Mrs. Yoon. Always.”
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firefighterkinard · 2 months ago
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9-1-1 S08E04
Ohhhh, boy.
This wasn't a bad episode but the pacing was awful, the Gerrard arc's wrap-up didn't really make sense, and it really could have done with being spread across two episodes.
We went from "Ortiz is going to shut down the 118" to "oh, wait, she won't" in one scene. Sorry, but if you're going to introduce closing down the firehouse, at least do it as a cliffhanger between two episodes, especially if it's going to be wrapped up almost immediately.
I don't feel like we got much of the promised problems with madney taking in Mara - yeah, Hen and Karen end up banned from even talking to her after it's discovered that Chimney and Maddie are their friends, but it's fixed by the end of the episode and we don't even see Mara's reaction to the situation. Outside of the adults being upset, it ends up being a weird emotional black hole in an otherwise heartbreaking arc because it's resolved so quickly.
Gerrard went from being a genuine threat who had Buck wanting to quit because he was so bad, to turning against Ortiz (who he's apparently known for a long time; we don't get more details about that despite their connection being teased since last season) after Bobby points out that she's using him. It feels annoyingly like they just pulled an "and Bobby fixes it all" in a way that really doesn't sit right with me. I love Bobby but this really needed to be something the 118 did without him.
Yeah, Gerrard going to Hotshots to be up his own arse and work with Brad (who is also a jackass to anyone he views as beneath him) is a good gag, but it feels like the show somehow forgot that Gerrard is a genuine bigot and a bully.
I think the only storyline that landed and didn't feel rushed or like it was missing an entire episode was Eddie and the boy with the shitty dad. And I really hope that the Chris storyline doesn't fall foul of the showrunner's desire to wrap everything up quickly.
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princessbrunette · 24 days ago
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s4ep10 spoilers below the cut ♡
jj suggesting his name for the baby oh he’s dyingggg
pope n cleo’s reaction 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
rafe just staring like there ain’t no way ……
jj u are manic babe 🩷
it’s so weird seeing the scenes that i remember seeing the set pics from …….
cleo and jj going head to head on thievery rn
rafe just yelling and being loud asfk
john b dropping all the apples this fool
rafe getting grabbed by the cops 😭😭😭😭😭
“dumbasses” alr uncle rafe settle down
new iconic rafe walking scene just dropped
“hey baby” rafe……
“im just taking care of business okay?” RAFEYYY he said it so gentle .
the way he just randomly purchased a new fit
BEAT GROFFS ASS !!
rafe looking at the cat when it meows at him ijbol
ok like not rafe just randomly scaling a building
LETS GOOO BEAT HIS ASS RAFEEE
jj yelling “frick!” is killing meee
“HOW DID YOU GET THIS” “I STOLE IT” pope n cleo u will always be famous
this british lady so annoying oh just pack it in.
rafe driving that big ass bike thing ok hagrid tease 😍
“holy shit! that wasn’t even close to answering my question!” now
“so now you’re gonna be my bitch” i’m turned on
ohhhhhh no rafe crash out
RAFE SENT HER PACKINGGG WOAH?
jj flashing the gun was sexy asf idk
“your lucks gonna run out one day…” alr we get it he’s dying surely
rafe talking to himself, angry, single, scheming - we are so back
“that’s my brother” OKAYYYYYYY
“youre not the only one who shot teddy bears” i don’t need tbis rn
terrible aim pope. love you tho
sarah not even flinching when rafe held the knife up to her 😭 she was like alr cmon
rafe hug her. come on
AWWW SHE HUGGED HIMMMM LIKE A BABY and he started crying what if i sobbed rn
“ive gone one bullet left” hes better than me cos i would have panicked and kms
CLEO GOT SHOT NO
the way everyone treats pregnant sarah is the way they treat puppy!reader just all the time i fear ….
“coming right up queen kie” i chuckled
jj don’t die.
“i had him” “no you didn’t” “alright yeah” PLEASE
pope tha killer woah….
“im a killer too” okay rafe 😭😭😭😭
i’m shocked jj didn’t die up there
GROFF STABBED HIM??????
poor kie having to go through that :(
“take care of the others, okay?” was so gentle
ohhh my god he died. he’s dead. our boy is dead WHAT THE HELL
the flashbacks ohhhh go to hell
groff you will pay oh my god
oh this is dark
rafe not now 😭
oh my that ending.
next season gonna be crazy, sarah pregnant, pogues turned to killers, rafe and kiara probably gonna end up together lord give me strength .
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glassofspoiledmilk · 2 months ago
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Unlikely 𓇢𓆸
SYNOPSIS: Tooru Oikawa has kissed many girls, but kisses don’t mean much do they?
WC: 0.7k
Flufftober fic 1: first kiss
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TOORU OIKAWA - a boy with a reputation larger than him. He was a “lady’s man”, the kinda guy you’d swoon over at the mall, a guy with all the girls he could ever dream of having.
Unfortunately, with such a high reputation comes high standards.
Standards in which I certainly do not meet.
The moment flys by me as I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Y/N?” My friend asks with a concerned look.
“Hm?” I reply as I looked up at her, regaining my consciousness.
I was in school.
“I don’t get this part…what’s slope?” She said as she intently looked down at her paper, searching for answers she couldn’t seem to find.
“You have to grab the points” I say as I gesture down to her paper.
“Ohhhh” she reply’s.
“Anyway, you still wanna go to the game later? I heard Oikawas got something up his sleeve, it being so close to the end of the season and all” she says with a giddy smile.
“Why would I want to go watch him get swarmed by a bunch of chicks” I reply, scribbling an answer onto my paper.
“Oh please you wish you were them” she jokes.
“Whatever” I add as I roll my eyes.
“But I seriously think you have a shot with him!” She adds excitedly.
“Don’t get my hopes up it’s not worth it” I sigh.
“He tries to talk to you all the time, you just ignore him” she adds while drawing little hearts on the corners of her paper.
“When has he ever tried to talk to me?” I reply with a confused expression.
“Yesterday in the library he asked you to show him where the fiction books were, and then asked you what your favorite was” she says with a deadpan tone.
“He just needed help, that’s totally different” I argue.
“Yea and asking for your favorite was totally necessary, and he got the book too!” She exclaims.
“Maybe he’s a book enthusiast” I suggest.
“When has he read anything ever, also I can name like a hundred other times he’s talked to you!” She practically screams, which was followed by the loud ringing of the bell.
“Just please come to the game!” She begs as I grab my books.
“Fine but you have to get me something from the concessions” I laugh.
“Deal” she happily replies as we walk out of the classroom.
The day flew by me, and before I knew it I was walking up unstable bleachers in a humid gym.
“So wait who are we playing again?” I ask as I stuff my face with compensation chips.
“Karasuno I think” my friend says as she plops down into the spot next to me.
“It should be a good game then” I add as I watch the teams warm up.
I wasn’t really interested in the game at all. I mean with minimal volleyball knowledge, I could just barely make out what was happening.
I wasn’t really focused on the game though.
Just his entourage of girls at the bottom of the bleachers.
I scoffed.
The score was 3-2, we won by a hair.
“Damn that was a close game, can’t believe we won though!” My friend said as we walked into the cool outdoor air.
“You sure you don’t need a ride?” She asked.
“Yea I’m good” I replied.
“Alright I’ll cya!” She added as she walked to her car.
“Hey Y/N!” An unfamiliar voice said from behind me.
“Uh..hi?” I said as I slowly turned around.
Oikawa was standing behind me.
“What did you think of the game?” He asked.
“Oh I uh..I thought it was good. You played well” I replied nervously.
“Anyway I wanted to ask you about something” he says, the tone turning slightly more serious.
“Oh what’s up?” I reply with a concerned look.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” He says as he leans against the brick gymnasium wall.
“Uh..no..no I haven’t” I hesitate.
“Would you like to?” He says with a cocky grin.
“I-I don’t know..I mean why would you wanna kiss me.?” I stutter, my face completely pink.
“Because I like you, and I wanna kiss you?” He says as he steps forward, placing a gentle hand on my side.
“So what do you say?” He whispers softly in my ear.
“I wouldn’t mind..” I replied, feeling my heart betting out of my chest.
He smiles, and abrupy pulls me in.
His calloused hands had a tight grip on my waist as his soft lips pressed against mine.
As we slowly pulled apart, all words left my brain.
“So I guess this is my way of asking you out” he winks.
“What do you say?”
“Yea…yea I’d love to”
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 7 days ago
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s5 episode 10 thoughts
after yesterday's trees that ate people, i am curious to see where we are going. however, i have heard that this episode and the 2 after it are very good, so i am excited to see where this takes us.
post-episode review: another contender for my (now crowded) best episodes of all time list! but take us back to yesterday...
let's read the description here... oh! this happens in a coastal town in maine? are we going to see BEACH mulder and scully? oh! this is giving me many ideas!
and yes, the description also mentions a girl and a doll i assume to be evil, but hey! maine! salt water taffy! seashells! lobsters! moose! blueberries! a quaint little motel!
ah, can you picture it? oh, do i need to write some sort of vacation fic? has this seed been planted? and will it continue to grow?
let us find out!
this girl (polly) has a creepy doll. she is glaring at her mother (melissa). she must not want to go shopping. don’t make eye contact, old lady who walks by them. that child has an evil spirit. i can tell. 
“i don’t like this store, mommy” <- so does she like other stores? other grocery stores? can she sense something here that displeases her? her mother clarifies that they will only be a minute 
ohhhh, when she says she wants to go home, the doll’s eyes open. don’t care for that. AND THE DOLL TALKS?? 
poor mom sees visions of the butcher stabbing himself in the eye?? and the cart’s wheels go wild!!!
“please, don’t do this to mommy”, melissa begs her child <- so she KNOWS that her daughter and/or the doll are somehow responsible for all this??? GIRL!!! she just needs to eat!! they haven’t invented doordash yet!! how will polly get her food?? does she have to go to a different, polly and doll approved, grocery store?? or must they simply starve??
ohhh OH THIS WOMAN IS CLAWING OUT HER EYES??? WHAT IS WITH THE EYES!? 
EVERYONE IS CLAWING OUT THEIR EYES!!!! AUGH AUGH AUGH WHAT THE FUCK, POLLY????? 
the butcher (dave) tries to call 911- somehow he is able to resist the call to scratch- but the fucking DOLL IS ON THE OTHER LINE???
girl. that doll needs to be thrown in the ocean NOW. you can’t be doing this to my boy dave. 
NOOOO HE REALLY DOES STAB HIMSELF IN THE EYE 💔
bleurgh. bleeeugh. pour one out for dave.
and to think! i was just pondering saltwater taffy and the dynamics of coastal msr!!
ohhh, but this little town is so cute!!!! is scully on vacation???
OHHH SHE’S GETTING GAS FOR HER FANCY CAR IN A MAINE T SHIRT AND SUNGLASSES <3 ohhh…. ohhhhh… vacation scully… i am holding her so gently
(she must have been so excited to get that silly little souvenir shirt if she had it on before she even got there... and i love that for her)
who calls her at this hour? (as if we need to ask!)
“mulder, i thought we had an agreement. we were both going to take the weekend off” (he is fully in his office playing around with his chair) LMAOOOO
this man physically cannot relax. “right, right, right, i know. but i-i-i just received some information about-about a case” <- at least he seems self-conscious about the fact that he is breaking their agreement
AWW, SHE JUST WANTS TO CHILL 
“you didn’t rent a convertible, did you?” “why?” “are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?” <- grown ass man playing on a chair when he says this, btw. please worry about yourself.
(it is so funny how badly he wanted to hear her voice but cannot bring himself to talk about normal human conversation topics, such as the vacation she is about to embark upon)
LMAO SHE INFORMS HIM THAT SHE IS HANGING UP LIKE HE IS A SMALL CHILD!!! AND HE SEEMS SURPRISED WHEN SHE DOES
aww, the poor man is just a loser!
(reading these notes back for editing purposes and i am STILL laughing. god, he's such a nerd.
he's thinking, "hey, i know we promised to not talk about work for 2 whole days, but i missed you. do you want to talk about work? please don't get decapitated, honey. oh man, she hung up on me :("
meanwhile, she's thinking "for the love of god. just let me have a nice vacation. yes, mulder, you want to solve a mystery, but i need a break. no, i won't get my head cut off. okay, i'm saying goodbye now. GOODBYE.")
she rolls off in her convertible. which is a mustang, btw. serve. and melissa and polly nearly run her over. she looks pissed at their erratic driving.
woah! she is at the store where the eyeball gouging just took place. she finds all of the grocery store customers with blood on their faces!!!! but luckily, most seem to have intact eyeballs.
NOOO, DAVE THE BUTCHER MIGHT BE DEAD and his eyeball is very much not intact
damn. so much for a chill vacation.
(author's note: it's so funny to me how scully was not going to let this stop her from chilling. she was going to get right back to the beach after watching a grocery store full of people claw at their own eyeballs. me, i would have been calling the whole trip off and heading home after seeing such a horrible sight. her need to relax after so many years of alien nonsense is unmatched. not even demon doll could come between this queen and her vacation)
cutscene to mulder in his office, where a distinct moaning noise is coming from his TV. oh god. and he’s sitting there with sunflower seeds. LMAO?? he’s just sitting and watching.... this. not even doing anything but snacking. 
NOOOO SHE CALLS AND HEARS IT 💔 “what are you watching, mulder?” OH GOD WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY?
he claims to be watching “the deadliest swarms” <- utterly gagged at that man watching porn while just sitting in his office. stone-faced. and then lying about it. what does this say about his character?
BUT IT REALLY WAS DEADLIEST SWARMS LMAOOOO THE MAN AND WOMAN MOANING HAVE BEES IN THEIR FUCKING EYES I’M CRYINGGGGG
my asexual king. i should have never doubted you.
(author's note: still losing my mind at this as i edit, btw. i was fully convinced that mulder brought porn to his office to watch at work on the weekend, and i was thinking "well, it's not the STRANGEST thing he's done" but no. he's at work on the weekends to watch bugs sting people in the eyeballs. for research purposes. god. what a guy. i wish i could have a glimpse into if scully believed his statement or not. have they talked about this TV program before? is this what he does with his very limited time off?)
“it sounds to me like that’s witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you’re looking for there”, he comments. “no, i don’t think it’s witchcraft, mulder, or sorcery” (said while the local policemen look on in shock at her saying those words) LMAOOO
“yeah, well, maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for”
“like evidence of conjury or the black arts, or shamanism, divination, wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones or hex signs, or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?” <- LMAO she said i’ve been taking notes on your theories, boy
“scully?” “yes?” “marry me” “i was hoping for something a little more helpful” <- LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD. the way her face doesn’t even change while his looks SO FUCKING SERIOUS. he's in awe of her. hold on. i had to rewatch that like three times. i'm absolutely HOWLING over here.
and to be fair, had she said that string of words to me on the phone as well, i would have reacted in the same way! i cannot fault him there.
while watching the footage of what went down at the grocery store, she notices that melissa is the only one who seems unaffected. the police seem to not believe that means anything until she politely points out that maybe they should talk to melissa about the whole situation, and then she tries to get tf out of there LMAOOO she is not going to let ANYTHING interrupt vacation time!!!!
“people here say she’s a witch” “well, that’s not the first time for that accusation in these parts” <- LMAO GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME
ohhhh, the cop says that melissa was “carrying on” with dave the butcher… who is now dead… well! that is deeply suspicious!!!
a policeman named buddy is trying to call melissa while polly and the doll listen to some old timey music. polly COMMANDS her to hang up. i fear the consequences for what will happen if melissa continues her chat.
nooooo :( buddy the cop tells melissa that dave is dead… but the doll is speaking now, because polly is being ignored!!! melissa says he can’t come here, but buddy insists on coming. 
so, again, it seems melissa knows that the doll is committing the crimes….
scully arrives with the other cop, named jack, to melissa and polly's house. scully is in her killer outfit of: blazer, maine t shirt, and sunglasses. looking like a million bucks. she proceeds to do the cop's job better than he does when she notices the backdoor is wide open. 
feels so strange to see scully in jeans. i make note of this special occasion
ohhh, she’s in the little girl’s room which could be sensitive for her... but she seems fine. 
(author's note: i keep getting jarred by how much they are NOT acknowledging the whole emily plotline... here i was thinking that this child's room would bring scully to tears and she's just looking around, observing as always... the writers truly did not give a damn)
lore reveal: melissa’s husband died in a boating accident… or did he…?
allegedly, polly is autistic, and the daycare lady slapped her across the face after a tantrum!!! what!! you can’t do this!! scully seems shocked to hear of the slapping (but she keeps it very professional, as she always does) and then MORE shocked to hear that the daycare lady was knocked on the ground. by the little girl. but the cop said she never touched her.
yes, i am sure that the ghost doll can do impossible things, even attacking old ladies. the daycare lady got fired for the slapping (well, yes!) and the people call melissa a witch as a result (um... not her fault?)
(why are there so many people named melissa in this show? could we not get a little creative? did the writers only know of 3 or 4 names? crack open a yearbook or one of those baby names books that writers use, damn!)
omg, so the tea is that dave had a WIFE, but was still trying to get with melissa!!! but melissa did not want him like that. a queen who stays in her lane.
scully notices that the windows are all nailed shut. maybe melissa nailed the windows in because she was afraid of something getting out…? like an evil ghost doll?
buddy gives the girl polly some ice cream as he tries to question melissa in this restaurant. buddy offers to give melissa some money so she can get away. is this, like, a kindness thing? oh no, he’s in love with her, seems like. says he missed his first chance around. well. i guess we can never have a man doing the right thing out of sheer selflessness. this is TV, after all.
she says she has seen things… meanwhile polly is DEMANDING more cherries from the ice cream lady. (and polly has strange taste. i like those cherries too, but they're very strong; one or two will do the job)
melissa tells buddy that she saw dave dead before he died! and it wasn’t the first time!!! she saw her husband before he died, too! buddy seems to take this news better than expected.
ohhh, this lady at the ice cream counter says polly has to ask her mom for money to buy more cherries… i assume she does not have much longer to live
the doll opens its eyes IN THE RESTAURANT, and melissa says it’s time to go, knowing what is about to go down. buddy tries to give her a key to a place they used to go hunting, but NOOOOOO, the ice cream lady’s head is stuck in the ice cream machine!!!!!!!
melissa takes polly and the doll and they book it.
this is an injustice to food service professionals everywhere.
the other cop guy- the one named named jack- is visiting jane, the old lady from the very beginning of the episode who briefly made eye contact with polly. and scully is here too!!
okay, so jane immediately launches into saying that melissa is from a line of witches. cool, cool. this must be the lady who ran the daycare. scully looks amused as she slams the door in their faces and remarks on “new england hospitality” lmaooo
(she claims she's heard about it all her life, but never experienced it- is this her first journey to new england? like, recreationally, and not for work? omg! the cali girl is being exposed to the northeast! culture shock! she is learning the ways of mulder and his people!)
ah yes, we see as they leave that the sign on the door of jane’s house shows it’s the daycare. well, FORMER daycare.
scully wants to know if this lineage of witches thing is really all talk. and the policeman jack cannot figure out why he would want to bring melissa in. LMAO despite him being entirely incompetent at his job, scully does NOT WANT TO HELP I’M CRYING. she is PROTECTING HER PEACE!!!
melissa and polly pull up to the cabin buddy gave them the key to. ohhh, she doesn’t have any gear… and it’s winter up here. girl! how will they eat!!
polly wants her BED and her RECORDS, and the doll is AWAKE. so now melissa’s racing home after seeing a dead jane in her rear window!!!
back at her home, the records are going off… jane is here, for some reason, perhaps to investigate the loud noises despite there being no one home... and when she takes off the record off the player…. NOOOO, NOT HER STABBING HERSELF WITH THE BROKEN RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!
scully is taking a nice bubble bath, trying to relax… with some classical music…. but the phone is ringing!!! she slams the door with her foot LMAO and awww she gets out and wraps her hair in a towel <3 i love relaxed scully <3
wait, hold on, what is this book next to the phone…? allow me to pause. “affirmation for women who do too much” by adrianna carrillo… now hold on, i need to look into this… 
okay, so it doesn’t seem to be a real book, but instead a play on “meditations for women who do too much”, which has a very similar book cover and was published in the 90's. huh. the more you know! i wonder if copyright laws prevented the prop team from having the real thing.
we all know that she is, in fact, a woman who does too much. so i am glad she is affirming herself.
anyway, what was going on? yes, evil doll. there's a message on the phone. she does not play it. SHE DOES TOO MUCH ALREADY!!!!
AND the policeman jack is at her door!!! noooooo, she cannot get a break!!
they find jane dead with the record player…. they're investigating at the crime scene when the cop gets a call and says "it's for you"
LMAOOO, HOW DID MULDER FIND THE POLICEMAN’S NUMBER, I’M CRYING???
(AND he says he called the hotel!! how did he find the hotel room's number?? he is a sleuth)
“hey, morning, sunshine!” he says happily (loud thumping over the phone) BAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNN?
he was worried about her!!! LMAOOOOO HE SAYS THEY’RE DOING CONSTRUCTION RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW, BUT HE WAS REALLY JUST BOUNCING HIS BASKETBALL BAHAHAA
awwww, he really WAS worried... he gets separation anxiety. that damn ball of his gets good use when he is nervous!!
omg… we finally get a decent look at his wall art while he is standing there in his underwear…. it’s just houses. sort of abstract, colorful, houses. with heavy lines. hmm. i will make assumptions on his character based on this.
BAHAHA AND MULDER THINKS THERE’S A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR HER CASE oh my gosh he thinks it’s dancing sickness KING, SHE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS!!!
why is the only thing this man has in his fridge a bottle of orange juice? and it is presumably expired, because he makes an awful face when he takes a sip, and then we see that it says “oct 97” on the carton, which i take it is not. so is this set in 98? early 98? since we just passed chrismas?
god. how has he stayed alive this long? is there some sort of cafeteria at the FBI he sustains himself with?
LMAO HE SPITS THE JUICE BACK OUT AND SHE HANGS TF UP BAHAHAAA
she has had enough!! she called this guy jack and said maybe we need to keep our minds open to extreme possibilities (gasp!) LMAOOO “okay, but aren’t you on vacation?” <- SHE NEEDS A RAISE!! MAYBE IF YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB, JACK, SHE COULD TAKE A VACATION FOR REAL!!
now polly and the doll are back at home, and OH, the doll is breathing as the two sleep next to each other. this is not something that i care for. melissa is trying to do something to stop the doll's reign of terror, but it opens its eyes and catches her…. so she cries downstairs. NO! not a dead buddy vision!!!!
LMAOOO meanwhile scully is utterly gagged at the size of this lobster she’s splitting with jack: “that looks like something out of jules verne. we’re supposed to eat that?” <- SHE’S SUCH A NERD I’M CRYINGGGG
she really is experiencing new england culture shock and it is hilarious
she’s trying to learn about melissa’s husband’s death as jack manhandles this lobster. the boat he died on is out the window…
this damn doll keeps replaying the hokey pokey over and over again. count your days, demon!!!
ohhh, buddy is here at melissa's place to take her into the station!!! and he sees the doll open her doll eyes….
scully is trying to figure out wtf went down the night melissa’s husband died, as she now talks to this grizzled old sailor who was there with him on that fateful evening
“i told my story to the chief”, he says; “people’s story’s change”, she answers <- ohhhh yeah, she IS a noir detective, yes ma’am!
omg, melissa's husband/polly's dad found that freaky ass doll in the ocean!!! it was the night before polly's birthday, so he thought it was a gift from the sea!! and he heard the doll talking…. and then the old grizzled fisherman found melissa’s husband with the HOOK THROUGH HIS SKULL BLEUGGHHH?
(this episode was funny but the gore was SHEESH)
ohhh, and he put together that the doll was involved when he saw them in the store that morning
(her phone rings) “oh hey, i thought you weren’t answering your cell phone” he’s TWIRLING the literal phone line while he calls her i’m CRYING this man is down TERRIBLE
OHHH HE IS TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION WHEN SHE ASKS IF THERE ARE ANY REFERENCES IN OCCULT LITERATURE TO EVIL DOLLS LMAOOOO
he starts explaining and then she says that she “was just curious”, probably because his heart would be broken if he knew she found a haunted doll without him. turns out there is quite a history of them in new england!
“i would suggest that you check the back of the doll for a-a plastic ring with a string on it” (she rolls her eyes and hangs up) 
LMAOOOOOO STOP my face hurts from smiling at this episode. why is he like that!
poor melissa is crying, making popcorn at the stove for the screaming polly, while BUDDY IS DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! NO MELISSA!!
she hammers the windows and doors shut even more…. but the doll cannot stand the pounding!!! and melissa sees herself dead in the window!!!! nooo!
scully and jack roll up just in time to either save the day or watch it get much, much worse. 
omfg is melissa gonna set the whole house on fire?????? but she can’t get a match to light!!!! the doll keeps blowing it out!!!
from outside the house, scully sees buddy dead on the floor!!!! and the doll won’t let melissa grab a knife!!!! but the demon doll somehow opens up the locked cabinet and gets the hammer!!!!
scully is absolutely SLAMMING herself into that door to open it, but NOOOO the doll says “i don’t like you anymore” and makes melissa take the hammer and JAM IT IN HER OWN FACE?!?!?!?!?!?
scully and jack finally break in!! scully takes the doll away from polly despite her many refusals and PUTS IT IN THE MICROWAVE?? YAAAS THE DEMON CATCHES FIRE!!!!!!!!! scully is very dramatically watching that doll burn….
(this had me absolutely CRYING. she had no time for science that day. she was on vacation. if there is going to be an evil demon doll while she is off the clock, she is going to throw that mfer in the microwave and watch it go up in flames. extreme possibilities are allowed, but ONLY when it is not her duty to save the world.)
((also laughing that the doll was able to put out matches and throw knives and make people gouge out their eyes, but scully putting her in the microwave was so unpredictable this demon had zero defense against it. that, or her catholic powers simply neutralized the evil presence, rendering the doll immobile in her godly hands. i choose to imagine it is a combination of both))
while mulder is sharpening a ton of pencils and putting them in rows back in the office LMAOOOO
scully finally returns to the basement office! she tells mulder she wants to send his famous wall poster to "some guy named jack"!!! he seems unbothered by this, whereas i was shocked! and then she denies doing any work on the case while up there, saying she was just on vacation. ah, if only we could have seen her frolicking on the beach after those incidents.
what did mulder get up to while she was away? “oh god, i mean, it’s amazing what i can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning into everything i do” (pencils begin to fall on him from the ceiling, as we pan up and see like, 40 pencils launched up there) LMAOOO
“there’s got to be an explanation” “some things are better left unexplained” fair enough
a cutscene back to maine... NOOOO, another fisherman hauls out the haunted doll while the hokey pokey ominously plays in the background 💔
i hope he promptly tossed her back into the watery grave. let her torment some fish instead.
so, final thoughts: scully putting the doll in the microwave… she really is THE final girl, huh?
this episode was soooo silly. i loved it. mulder had no brain cells. scully took a bath and made a friend who she wants to send a poster to. she is gagged by lobster. lmaoooooooo mulder missed her SO bad, he was trying to do science to impress her, bahaha. and she had her little maine shirt on!!! the role reversal of him being the science-centered one because he wants to talk to her that badly, and her being the one willing to deal with demons for a few days also killed me.
def going on the list of faves.
i think it is so funny that she was so focused on relaxing for once in her life that she truly did not give a single fuck if that doll was possessed or not. normally she would be scrambling for explanations, and today she simply did not have the time. she wanted to take a nice bubble bath, listen to orchestral music, read her little book, and if a demon was going to get in the way of that, then she would simply stop it and move along with her roadtrip. and i think that is beautiful.
and to answer my earlier question: YES, i still want a REAL joint msr vacation fic with REAL relaxation and REAL saltwater taffy and splashing and no murder dolls, but maybe like ONE ghost tour because new england is old and spooky, and then mulder can ask if they want to get married for real and they can go hiking or some other nerd activity and be happy forever and always <3 the end!
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l0stfoster · 2 months ago
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Paul anon here to say eeeeeeYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE ME SOME CURSED PAUL DOODLES THATS MY SCRUNKLY BOY IM LOEHEVDJDGUEHE I LOVE PAUL HOLDEN
I wanna know more about the feather situation now tho ohhhh you got me intrigued ohhhh my goddddd
And paul just thinking and knowing hes the reason johnny’s in a wheelchair and that’ll probably haunt him for the rest of his life cuz now hes so associated with the greasers he probably knows johnny a lot better now and ohhh im gonna be sick . He probably has so many feelings about the shit he did b4 he was kicked out of the house ohhhh my sweet boy i love you so bad
Paul anon I hope you know you're an icon among the writers. Novva has previously expressed how much they want to put you in a jar and observe you (/pos)
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As always I am so joyous that you're enjoying Paul here hehe. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Canon Paul can go kick rocks, Cursed Paul, on the other hand, needs a break from me. I talk a lot below so yeah another below the cut.
The feather situation was a little thing I'd thought about recently, since I've brought up to the writers before about how Two would eventually offer Paul a feather for flock marking, and Paul, by god, does NOT want the feather. Not only does he feel like he doesn't deserve it for what he's done; but it proves something about himself too- that he's getting attached. What the fuck does it say about him if he begins to connect with these people? It doesn’t help the guilt, that’s for sure. Two tries for probably months to get him to take it; literally days on end of offering and being ignored or shrugged off- finally, Paul takes it, but he doesn't wear it, nor does he keep it on his person. The only reason Paul wears it visibly for the first time is because god DAMN does Two pull off some REALLY good sad, pathetic bird eyes (and Dally looks ready to kill him for upsetting Two-Bit, so.)
He just gets so damn unlucky with the timing and circumstances surrounding it. Not only do the harpies already hold beef with him because of Two’s original jumping and the feather issue (most of them are clueless to the fact that Two’s forgiven him, while others are aware and have kinda chilled), but having a soc who’s harmed one of their own in their territory does not sit well with a majority of them, even all these months later; something especially impactful to the Shepard’s Gang. The second one harpy spots Paul with this feather, the immediate assumption is that he’d taken it just as he did with the first one.
I don’t talk about the Shepard’s all too much, but this is a good time to mention that Two and Tim are pretty good friends— so, well, he takes this as a matter that he can settle himself; and it’s a good way to warn this rich boy imposing on their territory that he’s on strike two of three, whether he’s one of the cursed or not.
Paul Gets Jumped, Part 2. It’s definitely not as bad as when the socs got him because, despite their gripes, Tim is half aware that Darry does gaf about this guy (he’s very out of the loop, and doesn’t even know the two are dating). As bad or not, it does freak Paul the hell out due to how familiar it felt to the first time he was jumped. That’s called trauma big guy, you and Johnny can bond over shaking like chihuahuas when you walk home alone. They take the feather away from him too, and you bet your ass he will NOT ask Two-Bit for another one because he doesn’t want him thinking Paul had purposefully disposed of it, especially with how often he’d been turning it down. This mf also ends not up being very fond of harpies outside of the ones he knows (ie; Two, Mrs. Mathews, etc) for a little while. Refuses to walk outside the house unless he’s got someone else with the gang. Two dive bombs on and grabs Paul while he’s walking home once and the entire East side loses power for like 5 hours lmao. Two was not happy when he found out about it too. Harpy: “Oh yeah we got this back from a soc while ago here" Two: Two: “-Isn’t that Paul’s?” Harpy: Harpy: “Th. The soc?” Two: “Yeah??? Paul??? Darry’s boyfriend?? This was his-“ Harpy: “I mean, he had it b- ohhh shit. You gave it to him on purpose.” Two:
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Tim is very confused when a ruffled Two slams the door open and off its hinges at his house
Two, slamming the door open: “WHY WOULD YOU JUMP HIM WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME ABOUT THE FEATHER????” Tim, half asleep on the couch: Tim: “..g’d mornin'?”
ON THAT NOTE Paul is,, so utterly haunted by both Johnny's and Two's disabilities, and that is absolutely not helped by the fact that they don't even seem to hold it against him. In Johnny's eyes, Paul wasn't the one who'd jumped him, resulting in him carrying the switchblade that killed Bob. He wasn't the one who held Pony underwater with the intent to kill. Two himself already knows that Paul didn't expect him to be burned as he was, nor was he the one holding the lighter. The blame the gang directs at him varies; especially when they see that the two who fell victim don't even seem to be mad about it. I think that a large reason as to why Pony throws his blame at Paul for Johnny is because, well, Bob's not around to take it. He's an emotional teen who's taking it out on the person he knows had some correlation to it. Besides, I think all of us know Pony blames himself for the church fire; directing that anger at Paul makes it easier to cope.
But yeah, Paul's practically eaten alive by the guilt. It sure as hell doesn't help that he already feels bad for being directly related to the witch that cursed Tulsa.
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robynrocksforbrains · 1 year ago
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The Map and The Painting
Ohhhh boy if there's one thing about me it's that I'm gonna pick up on some poetic symbolism that honestly maybe wasn't even intended but I'm gonna talk about it to my heart's content anyway!!! Considering how the Duffers talk about the van scene though... And how long they spent filming it... Maybe it was intended. Who knows? I certainly don't!
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The Map = Mike's relationship w/ El
The Painting = Mike's relationship w/ Will (obviously)
When the van scene opens, Mike is holding a map. He is looking at that map. This is the map they're using to get to the coordinates of NINA. This is the map they're using to find El.
Mike is holding this map while he vents his insecurities regarding his relationship with El. He looks and sounds dejected. He looks and sounds lost. He is holding a map, a navigation tool, and yet he is lost.
[I wish I had photos but I do not, so just go watch the scene for yourself if you wanna be reminded of just how much is going on in this poor boy's head.]
If this map is a representation of his relationship with El, that would mean this relationship makes him feel lost. Which isn't a stretch considering that is literally exactly what we see in their relationship time and time again. Mike loses himself in this relationship. He becomes someone we barely recognize in s3. And then in s4 we see that he doesn't know how to navigate his relationship with her. He's insecure, he feels inferior, he is completely in the dark about what her life is actually like. He's lost.
[This would not be the first time El is associated with a navigation tool. Specifically navigation tools that are broken/not serving their intended purpose. In s1 she tampers with the compass and leads Mike, Lucas, and Dustin on a wild goose chase. Her intentions were pure, she just wanted to keep them safe. But still, she's associated with a "broken" compass. She broke it. She's the reason they veer off the path to finding Will. (not hating on her for this, like I said, I know her intentions were pure, but that is what happened.) Of course, in the case of the map, the dysfunction is entirely symbolic, and likely not even an intended interpretation. I'm just a little insane.]
He's rambling and he looks lost, and he gives up. He cuts his ramblings off, apologizes, and calls his feelings stupid. Will lets him know that he doesn't have to be sorry. So he tries to continue, but he's at a loss for words. He doesn't know how to describe everything he's feeling. He doesn't even know where to begin.
"I don't know... I just... Uhhh..." // "You're scared of losing her"
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Slowed to appreciate Finn Wolfhard's talent
Will says that, and Mike's demeanor completely shifts. He looks like he feels seen for the first time in a long time. We know he's been lost, but we also know he's been hiding. He hasn't wanted to be found. But Will just got pretty damn close to finding him, and Mike doesn't look scared. He looks relieved. He looks amazed that Will was even looking to find him in the first place.
Mike doesn't deny what Will says. He confirms it. He's vulnerable because Will makes him feel safe. So then Will gives him the painting.
This is when Mike sets aside the map in favor of holding the painting.
The map is formal, mature, grown up. Like how he feels he needs to be. He views his relationship with El as a necessary step to growing up. As a necessary step to leaving his childhood, and his childish feelings behind.
"We're not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?"
The painting - Will's painting - is reminiscent of the kind of map you'd see in a fantasy world. A scroll that holds the secrets of the universe. The key to defeating evil once and for all. The kind of map you'd find in a fantasy game. The kind of game you played with your best friends. Before everything got so scary. Before everything got so complicated. Before you grew to be afraid of who you are. Before you were forced to grow up. Before everything changed.
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"Yeah. I guess I did. I really did."
Mike holds the painting with so much care. He unrolls it with so much care.
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This isn't anything new from Mike. We know how much he loves Will's art. How much he respects it. We've seen this before.
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(Something I love about the way this is filmed is that it feels reminiscent of scenes in fantasy movies where the protagonist has found some ancient map or scroll and is unrolling it. I really can't know for sure if this was intentional, but it's the feeling I get from it. I don't have a scene to compare it to because I cannot for the life of me think of one, but I know I've seen scenes like that before. And this feels like that)
Once he's looking at the painting itself, he lights up. He has this childlike wonder about him.
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Something that we haven't seen from him in a while.
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And it's no surprise that this painting is what lights that spark in him again. I mean just look at it. It's their childhood lovingly painted by his best friend. It's Mike and his three best friends, the people he's been through hell with, fighting a monster. Something they have real life experience doing. But in this painting it's not scary, because it's an echo of their adventures before the monsters were real. Before everything changed.
Will points to the shield. The shield has a heart on it. The shield also conveniently looks like an arrow that is conveniently pointing to Will the Wise. Our eyes naturally follow this, at least mine do. Like they're following a map. And if my eyes did that, then I'm pretty sure Mike's did too.
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In the same way the literal map is leading Mike to El, the painting acts as a figurative map that leads Mike to Will.
Mike looks dejected and lost while holding the map. He talks about his insecurities and expresses that he feels inferior, and that he's not needed.
He lights up when holding the painting. Will uses the painting to tell him that he's wrong about himself. That he's a leader. That he is needed and he always will be. He looks as if maybe he's on his way to finding himself, and in the process, finding Will.
So when his last significant interaction with Will in s4 is him reaching into the light to grasp his shoulder and reaffirm that they're a team...
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And when he ends the season with El walking away from him, and instead of following her, he chooses to stay by Will's side. Ready to face whatever comes next as a team. Ready to fight the monster. With his convenient little pocket arrow conveniently pointing to Will...
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Well it's not really a surprise, is it? This is exactly the path that the figurative map that is the painting is leading Mike down. The path it is leading the audience down. We haven't gotten to the destination yet, but we have a pretty good idea of where we're going.
Mike however? I'm not too sure if he's fully aware of what he's stumbling toward.
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