#but bly manor is kinda predictable

[squirrellyshorrorreviews]

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Don Koch tries to renovate a rundown mansion with a sordid history for his growing family, only to learn that the house has other plans.

Where to watch: shudder

Rating: 3/10

Someday I will start uploading regularly again.

CM Punk being the lead is a little immersion breaking not gonna lie. He looks WEIRD clean shaven and in khakis. BUT. Since I saw Killer’s Game last weekend, I had to watch this one eventually. This weekend seemed like a good time.

What to say.

Gotta give it to Phil, he does Unhinged Weirdo really well using just his face.

Anyway.

A lot of the classic “we bought a haunted house in a rural neighborhood” tropes. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Gives discount Haunting of Hill House/Bly Manor vibes especially with the background ghosts and such.

The amount of times I screamed “please wear gloves” in the early portions of this movie cannot be overstated. It had a lot of predictable “OH GOD NO” sort of gross moments as a result of flawed character logic (LOOKIN AT YOU SHOWER SCENE) but it ended up being more comedic than anything.

Fun use of mirrors. And the way it plays around with visuals in unsettling ways is also fun.

Doggo truly the best character. He’s so helpful. Such a good actor. 10/10. Sadly he does die.

The Final Monster giving mad SILENT HILL vibes.

Line reads are kinda stilted and lacking in passion, but that feels like a failing of direction. There a lot of moments where it’s clear the actors were not given much to work with. Really in general there’s a vibe of wasted potential.

It DECLINES IN QUALITY SO RAPIDLY. Like they just did not know what to do to finish it so they were just like “eh fuck it” and I hate it. The first two acts of the movie are pretty solid but the ending is TRASH. TRAAAAAAASH. I was cackling.

[athenadcvell]

Okay fine here’s my character review for the Haunting of Bly Manor that literally no one wants

Obviously, spoiler ahead. I know no one cares but I like to post meaningless rants on this blog so here we are. 

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So. First off. Haunting of Hill House was SO MUCH BETTER,  and you can fight me on that. I’m sorry, but Bly Manor was so predictable, like yes I got surprised sometimes, but Hill House had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. But Bly Manor was still fucking amazing, don’t get me wrong. I haven’t been this intrigued with a show since I finished The Originals. 

Anywho, let’s start with Dani. Baby. I love her, and she’s so badass, but I will admit, she got on my nerves sometimes. Like sis, you’re seeing your dead ex, GO TO THERAPY. Also, I think she should’ve told Edmund’s fam about their break-up. Like I understand why she didn’t, but I just feel like she should’ve. But I love her. 

Hannah was such a bad bitch, but it was kinda obvious she was dead. Like sis was skipping meals and popping outta nowhere, and she never left the manor. But I loved how she took no shit from anyone, and her confusion about everything SPOKE to me. Owen is by far one of my favs, with Jamie. He was so pure and funny, and I literally love him to death. HANNAH AND OWEN DESERVED BETTER. Also, when we saw his restaurant with Hannah’s pic, I sobbed, ngl. 

Jamie, my badass, take no shit from no one, gay baby. I LOVE HER. She was so amazing, and she literally gave no shits. She was abt to go pow pow on a ten year olds ass and I LOVE HER FOR IT. LIKE YES. BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF MILES BEING POSSESSED BY PETER. 

Miles and Flora. Flora creeped me out from the start, like she was so sweet and polite, but so so creepy. But I also felt so bad for her. Poor girl just wanted her parents. We didn’t get to see a lot of what Miles was actually like, but lemme tell you, he creeped me tf out in the beginning. Like he was acting so grown, but everything made sense when we found out Peter was possessing him. Hated Uncle Henry with a passion. He literally just abandoned his fam in a ghost house, like sure he was guilty, but he should’ve been there for them. Also, he was kinda unnecessary to the storyline ngl. 

Rebecca. Sweet, naive, Rebecca. Like, I felt SO BAD for her, because of everything that happened, but c’mon. Sis. There were so many red signs. I just wish she wasn’t so forgiving. And Peter can go ahead and choke. I HATE HIM. Like, because he’s played by the same actor that played Luke, I so badly wanted to love him. I was secretly hoping Rebecca like killed him or something so I wouldn’t have to hate him. But he just turned out to be a dick. I thought maybe he would give Rebecca a choice, like tell her to leave the manor and then she ended up offing herself so she could be with him, BUT NO HE HAD TO GO AND KILL HER. And then leave her alone to face the pain by herself... God I want to punch him. And his plan in the end made no fucking sense, so I’m glad it didn’t work out. But his backstory made me cry, I ain’t even gonna lie. And I’m probably a little messed up in the head, but he was attractive to me k bye

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[trulyhopelessromantic]

BRITT'S BOOKS '22

Book 7) Sherlock Holmes and the Ghosts of Bly: And Other New Adventures of the Great Detective (Lost Sherlock #5) by Donald Serrell Thomas, John Telfer (Reading)

pages: around 352-362 allegedly. 10 hours 58 mins audiobook

Started: January 31, 2022

Finished: February 14, 2022

Thoughts:

Firstly why there's a Lady of Shalott type picture on this I shall never know XD

Really liked the Bly one. I accept it as headcanon as a continuation of Turn of the Screw (which was a bit lacking as an original short story). I felt like parts of it were moving into the territory of the Netflix show so I wonder whether some of those little hints were taken by Mike Flanagan for the show Haunting of Bly Manor or whether it was a coincidence... I made a prediction at one point about 2 people which ended up being incorrect but I was still fine with the revelations made proving me wrong.

A lot of other reviewers are saying that these stories were too long. I liked the title story's length although agree that a chase scene at the end was kinda dramatic in the way that people in the story were like "Sherlock coulda been shot that man was so good at shooting we have to save Sherlock!" and I'm like...the first bullet missed. Sherlock was not incapacitated himself so he coulda moved out the way. Calm yo-selves.

The last mystery (agreed with others online) had a number of people introduced and wrapped up fairly quickly so pacing felt off. Also the intro to the eventually murdered man seemed...silly? I realize it was so that we understood Holmes' role in the past on the stage with this guy and how this guy is personality-wise but also kinda lengthy and unnecessary...

First mystery at first I didn't care much about then felt yes conspiracy. But I must remark this (as I did when reading): I can't understand why certain mysteries are hinged on the fact that the person involved who is falsely accused of something withholds all information and then at the end admits to it all that they were a victim.

We should be able to have a story without one person holding all their cards to their chest in order that Sherlock (or any detective) solves it all and comes to that person like "you lied tell us the truth" like you would go look at the 3 cards in the envelope in Clue the board game XD

[beca-mitchell]

Hey! Hope you’re doing well. Just wanted to say, with all this Bly Manor stuff popping up, I think it’s rather interesting/ironic/idk, I saw an ask on a bechloe page asking them if they’d ever move on from bechloe and then a few days later BOOM Bly Manor hits lol Not knocking you for switching it up, you have every right, it being your page. I was kinda seeing it from a “lol is the anon from the future? Did they just predict the shift/end of bechloe?” Missing bechloe but still love you 🥺❤️

dkjfksf there are so many parts to address here...i’ve had such long extensive conversations with people about this and just. i don’t know. it’s was such a powerful moment for me, experiencing this show. 

i feel like i’ve been treading water in the bechloe fandom for so long with half a heart. and honestly, truly and honestly, when was the last time i actually put out content that people liked? for me personally, i’ve just had so much trouble with this fandom. i will always love bechloe and i will continue to consume and make content for this ship and the pitch perfect fandom at large, because how could i not? but it is so apparent that i’m not needed or wanted in this fandom much anymore and that feeling has grown to hurt less over time.

i just feel like bly manor did so many things right and it made feel so fucking seen you know? like...seeing representation in so many ways on screen (not just with the lgbt storyline). it felt refreshing. i was well-written. it made me feel so much more. 

i love you too 🥺 thanks for checking in.

[36incheshigh]

haunting of bly manor on netflix review -

i tried not to put big spoilers in it. its about like.. a lady from america who becomes a live in nanny to two young siblings, in a big old mysterious? house in england.

overall - 8 /10 , maybe im just biased cause it had some of my fav parts of scary movies in it/personal fav parts of genres

[cons] -personally - i dont like when supposedly scary movies are about ppl dying sadly/theres characters who are actually nice who you actually get attached to and thenn, they suffer! (although technically i guesss that is what causes “haunting”, in its title. its like, im looking for a Scary which is secretly supposed to be found to be scary[-fun], not scary-Sad!. sad deaths/characters make me sad. like when cute kids in it are also sad and upset and they surely dont deserve it :p. bums me out. i guess i dont mind so much, if, -if youre gonna have to harm someone, that id rather theyre someone im not so attached to in the first place lols. id rather not feel sentimental whilee watching a movie thats also scary lols. too many feelings at once for me lols . also, i appreciate a movie tryingg to explain things well or make it interesting, but sometimes it cann get too complicated . thats where ya lose me. [thats kinda not that personal that can also be a critique in genderal.] its like if you keep it clear enough even if its simple, it could be a better story.

pros objectively - good characters, and gd chemistry between characters - they were all pretty distinct and interesting enough, had their own styles and mannerisms and personality. gd dialogue - relateable enough and realistic enough - heh ilke when the gardener tries to cheer the nanny up, that was like kind of a well thought out specific unique and still funny joke lols. or when the nanny uses her teacher-voice to say relateable things to the kids or to discipline them well and properly and fairly/justly and calmly - those were awesome and accurate like real life, very familiar in a specific, recognizable way. nicely done visually/cinematically - made everything look good, didnt make anything too confusing, clear enough. like it let us explore all the interesting places and no scenes were too dark to see whats going on or anything lols. which is good because sometimes a show takes place in what lookss like wouldd be an interesting setting, but we never really get to use the space much or see its details [well], or look at any of the cool parts about it, very well! plot was good - got stuck a couple times in a few ways, but atleast it did have good closure. thats hard to nail in spooky/scary stories. its also good that there was diversity representation in the characters’ races and kinds of romances so thats always important to diversify in the media so people arent ignorant and plus its less predictable and ^realistic.

cons objectively- really lost me in the episodes w hopping and flashbacks a lot, even though i guess it explained a few things. idk i think we couldve done without the entire dream bit cause it went over my head and i dont see thatt well how it fits with the rest of things very much anyway. i think it couldvee stuck with just the first owner’s story which seems to explain most of the mysteries anyway, and still be a great plot overall. also its not much of a big deal but in the end, that was supposed to be whats her name, the gardener but she wasnt even consistant in her style it was so out of character. like whats that hair style?? its too modern and boring/basic-betch , shes a chill, grounded, rough person so i think she shouldve kinda had a softer wavier hair style at least like she usually had . doesnt have to be the same, but atleast better match her character. i guess there were a few kind of minor plot pieces that i didnt hear/understand their explaination . but maybe if i thought about it more, or figure that those were just idk symbolic details or something lols, then id get it. -atleast the most important plot points have been explained. or if they kept the confusing plotline to help explain things, i wish they couldve made it a bit simpler to be more understandable . aint nobody tryina think that hard about it to understand things in a show ha . idk i think the wind up leading to the end , through the middle of the last episode when we werent sure if the girl was doomed yet or not [is that what it was that dragged on for me?] , dragged on a bit too somehow. or i wouldve been happy too if it ended like 10 minutes into the last episode when everything was at peace, even though thats too peaceful of an ending for a spooky story lols. also the bride in the beginning and ending who hears the story is a kind of bad actress or has awkward lines so it makes things corny lols. which its hard to not cross that line in spooky stories, from believeable and relateable and genuine enoughh to spook ya cause its barely believeable/relateable, - into corny.

pros personally- love big old gothic houses, theyve got character. love love stories, and mixing genres in a show or movie! like love, sad, and spooky. love it being more spooky and a thinker kinda rather than gory which could always be too easy of a scare. and lots of botony heh [in the romance] which i always love. in real life heh. i also dont really like body horror lols even though it couldve been worse here i guess. i know its supposed to be like, symbolic though :p. i like how - there wass a specific message/themes they were trying to be about in this show, but - idk, before we realizedd that, it was kind of amusing how the random suspicious jumpscares/problems that happen aree kinda like, making you/trickingg you to thinkk, that the story could justt be any of the clichee scary stories - but thenn its a pleasant surprise that even though you thought it was gonna be a cliche predictable plot, its actually much more elaborate in a good way lols. i also like “”gothic”“ and kinda spooky but not likeee verY scarY ha. cause gothic is likee, a lookk/mood!!

so yeah, i liked this in general, and would recommend it in general and might watch most of it again in halloween season lols. i like it because its sophisticated and relateable enough, graceful, cute enough - balanced so its not tooo much of anythingg and just enoughh of different things that would make any show enjoyable enoughh, i thinkk . good in all the ways it matters, in all the important ways. generally doesnt get campy in the parts of the show where that would matter lols. i liked it better than the other series apparently also by this director or whatever, “haunting of hill house”. i think “bly manor” was better in nearly  every way lols .