#but because he personally strongly believes that everyone deserves to have a natural meaningful death on their own terms

[uniformbravo]

rewatching jjk with my sister & aaaaaaaa its just so god dang GOOD

[toxkeepxbreathing]

@imxaxmage said:  ⚖ - Opinions on the fandom your muse belong to? (DRV3 & Until Dawn)

Honestly, Imma answer this for both because honestly my opinions for any fandom seem to always coalesce. For the most part, I really love and appreciate and enjoy how intensely the fandoms I invest in in turn invest in the shows and characters. Tumblr wouldn't exist if not for people to fangasm about all their favorite shit. And everyone who engages in those labors of love from fanart to fan animations to fanfiction to memes and memelists, the RPC, cosplayers, EVERYTHING -- Is just truly mindblowing and heartwarming. That being said... I do wish people would be more open minded to differing opinions and try to keep a balanced perspective on characters. Especially when it comes to characters they like versus characters they don't. Cause I do feel, well, humanity in general, is strongly biased by looks. Or they assume that because a character doesn't wear their heart on their sleeve and reach out or seek attention that they don't care/have feelings/struggle. And it's just frustrating.

I was watching an LP of Danganronpa and the LPer said that Angie deserved to die because she was "too positive" and "not taking anything seriously" and that was in Chapter 1 before anyone even died. He didn't give her a chance to reach Chapter 3 where she legit takes so many actions to try and end the killing game and it becomes apparent that Atua is a major coping mechanism for her and the entire council -- Especially Himiko. But then, yeah, Kiyo murders nearly 100 innocent women and he's a poor innocent boy that got abused by his sister. Which I've not been able to find evidence that it's even hard canon that either him or his sister abused each other. It's just headcanons based on Kiyo's tulpa and the stories of how Kiyo got his tulpa don't even match up. (He claims she came to him in a seance, but the game itself says she manifested while he was being tortured. I imagine the truth is in between those two, and he performed the seance to convince himself that his split personality/tulpa was actually his sister.)

And it's like. It's fine to like characters like that. And to dislike characters like Angie. But it'd be nice to have that be based on equal perspective. I like Mukuro, Kyosuke, Junko, Jack, Mikan and plenty of messed up characters. But I don't try and justify or excuse their behaviours because they still exist and should be recognized as character flaws that those characters need to responsibility for. Not have them excuses and forgiven. Hell, I don't excuse Angie blaming Himiko for Ryoma's murder. And yeah, her actions, good intentions or otherwise, born of abuse or otherwise, whether she has a severe case of God-fearing or God-complex or feeling like a Prophet. Are questionable and take the choice away from other people. (It's why Kaito, Tenko, Maki and Shuichi oppose her.) Anyway, I'm rambling.

I guess the Tl;dr is: I love all fandoms, especially the ones that truly care and deeply analyse their shows/things/characters. But I also feel like human nature invites bias that I wish more people could look beyond to place themselves not just in the shoes of the people they like, but also in the shoes of the people they don't like. Because unless you do that, it becomes hard to fairly judge every character. You miss things. Or don't let yourself hear them. Hell, I was watching Persona 5 Strikers and Futaba, a character I don't particularly care for personality-wise, said something about being unable to sleep in the camper van because she didn't have her usual pillow. My initial reaction was to just not pay attention and jokingly tell her to shut up. But then I stopped to think about that line and the implications, and that line alone gave me at least SOMETHING to appreciate in Futaba. She has obsessive compulsive tendencies. Same when she froze up in public.

I appreciated the game more, and her character a little more, to see how well they delivered on her social anxiety after spending so long hermiting in her room, struggling with PTSD. Granted, I still don't like her. Especially the way she seems to trivialize the trauma, obsessive compulsive behaviours and special interests of others. But I wouldn't even appreciate what I do appreciate of her character if I just shut her down/ignored her based on past judgments. I just don't think it costs anything to keep an open myself and place yourself in their shoes and keep hoping for the best for characters. Maybe that's why Kaito is one of my favorite characters in DRV3. Maybe that's why Tenko and Himiko initially resonated so much. Maybe that's why I like Ryoma, too. And maybe that's why I like Persona IN GENERAL. Because I really do like to see the best in people.

Oh, and don't wish harm upon characters in any meaningful way just because you don't like their personality. Sure, if they're genuinely god-awful criminals, I'd get it. In The Vampire Diaries, I find the actions of characters like Stefan, Damon, Klaus, Katherine, Hayley, and even Tyler, Jeremy and Elena to be very morally fucked up. Those first five moreso than the last three. And I truly believe that a lot of their actions; which for Damon and Katherine include rape and murder and Klaus and Tyler include attempted rape (and murder and brainwashing and a shit tonne of familial abuse and gaslighting for Klaus) and Elena and Jeremy essentially committing a mass genocide on thousands of vampires. They really do highlight how fucked up the vampire's mentality is and explains why characters like Matt Donovan want RID of them from Mystic Falls. (Especially because Matt's sister died because of them.) But to say someone should die because they're too bitchy or too cheery really does disturb me.

Characters like Hiyoko and Angie and Himiko don't deserve to die JUST BECAUSE of how they carry themselves. If you don't like the way they carry themselves. FINE. I don't wish death upon Futaba, either. Hell, I don't even wish death upon characters like Miu, Saiyaka or Kirumi in DRV3, though I disagree with their moral values and motives. I even RP Miu lmao. Note: I also wouldn't wish DEATH upon Tyler, Eleanor and Jeremy based on what I've seen so far. (I'm rewatching the series from scratch for like the fifth time.) And maybe not Hayley, either. And I don't believe the rest of them deserve to be harmed for their personalities. It's the actions and lack of responsibility they take within their own character arcs. It's fine to be jaded and problematic and bitchy and cruel and a fucking asshole to an EXTENT. But only if you're actually trying to improve.  We're all human. Mistakes happen. We all hit rock bottom eventually. I just... I don't know... I wish there was less bias and judgment and more open minds and fair perspectives given to all characters in any given fandom.

. . . . .

(So much for that Tl;dr)

[prophezeiung]

ways of realizing that you’re falling in love with your best friend pt. 1: the murdering of his girlfriend a holden vaisey x pollux parkinson drabble @vorhersage​

A young woman had been killed, murdered in cold blood, the papers said. Whatever noteworthy family members she had left behind were not only, understandably, in mourning, but also desperate to find whoever was responsible for this tragedy and hold them accountable. Among them were her sister, Ophelia, who some people claimed had gone a little insane over this loss; and her boyfriend, Pollux, who wore the darkest shades of black and the hardest facial expressions in the weeks after her death. Among them was her killer. Holden Vaisey, this killer's best friend, had watched the events unfold like the one-man audience at the enactment of a drama. He had missed most of the lead-up to this breaking point, by his own volition, but he had been there when she had died. He had seen the desperation creep into her eyes the moment she realized that she had put her trust in the wrong person, and the gravity of this mistake. He had seen it leave her eyes as well, along with every last glimmer of life at one stroke of his best friend's hand. The months that had led up to this moment had been agonizing to watch, but now his front row seat was paying off. He supported Pollux fully in this decision, not only because their relation had become more than a nuisance to Holden, but because he thought it better for Pollux to rid himself of this unsustainable foolery. He surely would have helped out, had Pollux himself not come to the conclusion that entertaining a charade like this was anything but beneficial to him. Taking matters into his own hands had proven to Holden that Pollux, when it came down to it, was still the man he took him for. They had not talked about it, Holden hadn't known the plan or if there even was one, but he had sensed it, the stern determination and the cool composure that had taken over his friend, and he had felt at ease, just as much as if he had taken this life himself.

Somebody who did not know Holden Vaisey might see this: A deeply disturbed man reenacting the traumas of his youth. An affinity for the violent things in life born from the foreignness of affection and devaluation of empathy. An untrue self-image through distorted reflection. The physical denial of feeling — quite literally the drowning of emotions to the brink of extinction, self-torture under the pretense of betterment. Somebody who did not know Holden Vaisey might also see this: A love, like a flame, obsessive, hungry, scorching and selfish to the core, yet oxymoronically sacrificial. The sickening satisfaction over the misery of somebody else, only unusual and therefore more twisted in the context of their mutual and exclusive love. The routined incomprehension and denial of either.

Holden Vaisey himself was happy. Not the pure, unadulterated form of happiness, the innocent joy that grows rarer with wisdom, nor the twisted schadenfreude, the malicious pleasure at others' despair. He was simply and wantlessly content. It did not matter that someone had died and that consequentially something had to die. Things were like they were before, or soon they would be. He had not cared at all for this phase, this short-lived phenomenon that had been his best friend's relationship, and so it was good that it was over.

He didn't know how it had started, and he wanted and didn't want to understand it in equal measures. The less he knew the better, it should seem, but the material with which his mind filled in the gaps was at times just as unsavory as the sting of the truth, if not worse. He caught himself asking Pollux to decide in his favor time and time again, a little private experiment conducted in order to measure how invested in their friendship he should remain: "Stay a little longer?", "Are you coming?", "Any plans for tonight?"

The girl — rather than a woman, because they too barely were men — was secondary to Holden. They had met before, of course they had, whoever met Pollux would subsequently meet Holden as well, but she had instantly fallen in the same category that Holden filed most acquaintances in: Useless, uninteresting, unimportant. She was but background noise to him. The more surprised he was when Pollux began to seek her favor. She was not plain aesthetically, but she lacked even a spark of charm to Holden, and beyond that, she represented the class of leeches and lowlives that neither of them had ever paid much mind to, as well as political opinions that should alert even Pollux' sense of self-preservation. She was not only their inferior, she was their opposite. And yet Pollux spent every moment he could afford by her side — time that had previously been reserved for Holden, because of course they spent every spare minute of their life together. It was elemental to their bond. It was all they knew.

Someone who wasn't Holden Vaisey might have seen this: Jealousy.

Pollux Parkinson had withdrawn his attention slowly but noticeably, and even someone like Holden, who took the only meaningful bond he had for granted — because since he was born until now, it always had been granted —, noticed. When the unthinkable suddenly becomes reality, the first natural reaction is apprehension. When the only stability suddenly becomes unreliable, the first natural reaction is wariness. When the source of mutual trust is suddenly opened to a stranger, the first natural reaction is reticence. So Holden had just flashed his bloodhound growl grin and let Pollux believe that nothing had changed. He didn't let him know how unbalanced he became when Pollux went to spend time with his lover, he didn't show his disdain for his new strange lifestyle, he didn't express his doubts over how this choice would affect either of them. They barely spoke about her or Pollux' feelings, and Holden was quite happy with that.

He did not understand what they meant, anyway. The love that he had seen was this: A thoughtless devotion that made you blind and deaf to the world. The sacrifice of freedom and rationality. Bitter disappointment and lifelong aching for a never-real fantasy. It was this: Weakness. He didn't claim to know it, neither to want it, nor to understand it. But what he had seen of it did not match what he knew to be true about his best friend. The Pollux that he knew was clever, alert, rational. He was strong. To Holden's mind, it was easier to believe that what Pollux claimed to be love was false than to believe that his view of him was. The possibility that there were things that transcended previous beliefs and devotions lay so far outside of his reach that it wasn't even within sight. Any dark inkling that the person he'd known his entire life and was confident he knew by heart had a side that to him that was unknown and incomprehensible was buried as quickly as the victims of the manhunts that Holden conducted with increasing frequency. With or without Pollux, though more and more without.

Finally Pollux had seen how vulnerable he had made himself, how he had lost control, and so he had taken it back by force. Given her what she deserved. To Holden's eyes, it had been long overdue. The only consequence of Pollux' decision to kill this alleged love of his that Holden cared for, then, was the relief he felt at the prospects of things going back to how they were. Pollux had, to him, changed beyond recognition, but not beyond reversal. Whatever this girl had done to him, he had shaken it off, and even though Holden presumed that some of it might preoccupy him for another while — Pollux had always been the quieter of the two, and neither of them had a habit of prying innermost thoughts from the other —, nonetheless this choice must surely mean that he had found closure, or was confident that he would.

Someone who knew Pollux and the thing most important to him might see this: Two lovers, heartbroken, torn apart by the expanding gap between their two worlds. Doubt, rearing its ugly head for the last time, so strongly this once that the bond that had always managed to squash it before now snapped under its heel like a twig. The admittance of a true nature, supposedly, against all previous efforts of salvation, and the destruction of any proof that there had ever been such.

Nobody, not even those who knew Pollux and the thing most important to him, would see this: Two lovers, oblivious, each breaking their own heart and turning away from help and each other. Love masked as habit, desire masked as codependency. Knowledge of one another, so intimate it might predict actions even before they are initialized, yet an intentional blindness towards the most basic psychological processes, their own and the other's.

That Pollux was keeping his distance even after the deed was done and the circumstances had shifted back to something familiar was always part of the equation. Holden knew his friend, and he was patient with him. Not the calculating patience he had for everyone else, people that he expected to gain something from and would therefore suffer through their antics if the price was right — no, for Pollux he would wait, however long and for whatever reason. In this case he knew what he would win from it, and it made him display an almost childlike anticipation that grew with every day, but it made no difference. Holden was certain that, sooner or later, Pollux would return to his old self, return to him.

Because in turn, nobody knew what Pollux Parkinson meant to Holden, not even Pollux himself. It was this: Glue that held together something irreparable. A silver lining for someone irredeemable. An extension of himself, as irreplaceable as a limb and as vital as an organ. A mirror, and at the same time, guidance. The promise of safety, taken for granted and the only reason why his world didn't collapse daily.

Had he been provided with this clear-cut definition, cold as steel, and asked, was it love? The answer would undoubtedly be yes. But a man who let a sick mind decide over a healthy heart would never consider that it was able to love when he had decided long ago that he didn't subscribe to this strange concept. No, the admission to anything but self-sufficiency would certainly crumble the so carefully constructed self-image.

For a person so keen on controlling every single aspect of their presence, Holden paid very little mind to the routines pertaining to his best friend. Whatever he felt like doing, he just did; Pollux understood, he was the same. There was no reason to overcomplicate matters that so smoothly ran on their own. If a future without the other was impossible, why bother trying to live any other life?

[onemanreviews]

I have many thoughts about this, first I would like to say that I want to commend Ben & Jerry’s for doing more than posting a pointless black box on their twitter. I appreciate a company that takes a definitive stand one way or another. Now I dont really have a dog in this fight, I already dont eat ice cream because im lactose intolerant, so... With that being said, I want to go through this and discuss one paragraph at a time. 

Fist paragraph: I too am outraged by the continual mistreatment of all citizens by police. I too support the peaceful protests across the country as a meaningful representation of the rage that not only the black community is feeling but that most of us are feeling due to a senseless murder. George Floyd did not deserve to die regardless of what he may have done, and certainly not in the manner that he did. 

Second paragraph: I agree completely, all 4 officer deserve the charges they received and I was glad to see they upgraded to 2nd degree. I truly feel for his family and friends. 

Third paragraph:  “The murder of George Floyd was the result of inhumane police brutality that is perpetuated by a culture of white supremacy.” I don’t disagree that yes his death was inhumane police brutality and I would classify it as torture. I do not believe we have a culture of white supremacy in this country. Moving on, yes slavery was horrific, most people agree, if they do not agree then they are lost causes but they do not come even close to making up a majority. I apologize if you view this as inflammatory but I do not feel responsible for events from over 400 years ago. I lament every person killed unjustly, especially by an organization and government that I feel has far overstepped their bounds of authority. 

Fourth and Fifth paragraph: Yes, lets bring Floyd and his family justice by punishing the officers involved to the full extent of the law. Yes racism is stupid and short sighted in all directions. It is terrible to hate someone for something so trivial as skin color, but it does exist and violence is no way to eradicate it, it only seeds it deeper. 

Sixth paragraph: Yes, do not use violence against peaceful protesters, that obviously solves nothing, and only serves to further inflame this situation. However, rioting and looting is not protest, it is a crime and should not be tolerated. Yeah, I get it Trump is inflammatory, he should denounce racists and supremacists, but you can’t just label everyone you disagree with a white supremacist or racist. 

Seventh paragraph: While I am not against the idea of H.R 40, I mean, we have spent more money on less important things in the past. It would all depend on the findings of this commission to determine something so complicated as reparations. I ask how one puts monetary value on something so complicated? Who would pay for it? Are we proposing a higher tax on white people to pay for reparations? A higher corporate tax rate to pay for it? Higher taxes in general? As someone who advocates for smaller government in general I want them more out of our lives not more ingrained. As a side note, if you feel so strongly about this issue, I would like to point out that there is nothing stopping you from funding such a commission yourself. There are no laws preventing you from starting a foundation to pay reparations. I am sure there are plenty companies and individuals that would donate to support such a cause. Furthermore why would you want a racist government to be in charge of such a mission, when you can do it yourself?

Eight paragraph: I agree, we need criminal justice reform and more police and government accountability. After all, we the people give them their power to serve us, and at the end of the day they should be accountable to us. 

Ninth paragraph: I will be honest and at the time of writing this am not very familiar with this topic. I will do more research but on its face I agree. I would however like to see less federal oversight and more public oversight. 

Tenth paragraph: I too want to see a better America, I want us to be peaceful and unified. I however will never agree that I personally am overtly privileged just because i’m a different color. Are there some people that I would define as privileged, yes there are. That however is part of nature, nothing will ever be perfectly equal. While I don’t disagree that there are people or companies that did get advantages from slavery and there are people that still have disadvantages, how do we go about figuring that out. I’m not saying we should’t do it, but to what end?

Thanks for stopping by, if there is something you would like me to cover leave a comment. 

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