#but bc I'm a fucking nerd about it I just kinda feel isolated
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bulletbilltime · 18 days ago
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Oh y'all are sharing Spotify Wrappeds? Oh sure here's mine. I'm still waiting on my actual year-end list though. Yeah I'm making a homebrew year-end chart. Yeah it won't be ready for another 24 days. Yeah I use homegrown weekly data points harvested from local scrobble aggregators. Wait where did everyone go
#bulletbilltime rambling#spotify wrapped#every year everyone gets so hyped about the spotify wrapped and I'm internally just like#ah yes. the first of 4 year end charts.#like some sort of villain collecting mcguffins ���#like people are sharing that exact same joy that I am; which is looking back on a year of music listening#but bc I'm a fucking nerd about it I just kinda feel isolated#I know there are communities dedicated to personal charts out there so like I know I'm not alone in doing stuff like this#I just find it so satisfying to make a chart every week and then check in every so often to see how the year's shaking out!#and I try my darnedest to not spoil myself too much on the actual placements#so that when the final chart is done I can make a big reveal out of it and find out where everything landed#(tho this year I kinda spoiled myself a bit on the Q3 year-to-date BUT it's still better than nothing!)#spotify wrapped kinda does this but it's this weird black box to me in terms of data. plus it doesn't count local files.#which is an issue when my most listened song this year was one lol#not to mention it only being january-october data#I still like seeing mine tho! in fact I'm about to write down all the songs in my wrapped so I can compare it at the end of the month#with my own scoring system & crownnote's year end (a site I upload my charts to) & last.fm's final results#they always have fun divergences!#spotify apparently is more based on minutes you spend with a song?#while last.fm is strictly plays based#then my own personal charts' system gives a view of which songs had longer lasting impact rather than immediate flare outs#and crownnote's does the same but weighs higher positions more heavily#and that combined kinda gives an interesting view of the year!!#Spotify always has the wildest picks too which end up in none of the other lists#I find these data points so engaging!!!!#I wish others found them as engaging as I do :(#I need to ramble about music charts and have nobody who actively wants to listen aaaaaaaa#the post is stored in the tags
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cringelordofchaos · 4 months ago
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top 3 of your biggest kins and why!!
Yayayay someone sent me an ask !!!
Sorry for my lack of response! Will get to it now!
Also I assume you mean fictionkin - sorry if you didn't!
Luz Noceda
Dvdhnfjdjd WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN? I've been so fucking obsessed w her and could relate to her WAYY too much since I started watching. Just... Ugh. So much of it. Being "the weird kid", inconsistent and lackluster grades / performance, being overly obsessed with a specific franchise (though mine come and go and return every few weeks lol), having a mom who really cares about you and wants the best for you and has had similar experiences growing up and being isolated or cast out but accidentally made you feel like you had to conform because that's what she kinda had to do??? idk but still encourages her child's true self and feels super guilty Abt it all yada yada. having little to no friends (I have one! (Speaking of offline) before visiting the demon realm. Fanfic writer (I never have the patience or motivation to finish anything I start though), being impulsive, not knowing whay you wanna be, being into witchcraft, feeling like you're somewhere where you don't belong (the human realm) and would gladly escape into a whole different realm, Bisexual (I'm questioning this though), gender nonconforming, being told that you just have to "apply yourself", insecure, similar clothing style, considers herself a "dummy", poor attention span for things she's uninterested, indecisive, etc etc, THIS SCENE THIS SCENE THIS SCENE
(ps the way camilla hovered her hand above the screen / luz when she saw how sad she was 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)
It's just. Everything.. I remember the first time I watched it I was like "Luz is so me in almost every single way. Except she makes a ton of eye contact, I don't rly do that" lmao... I would rewatch s1 and S2 on loop every day for the whole summer, I am NOT exaggerating. I rly love TOH I'm so.glad I got the opportunity to watch it and it means sm to me and I keep rewatching the scene from thanks to them and auhggjt.
"all I ever wanted... Was to be understood!" HEJDJFJDIDJRUJDJEKF DJJFFJNFB FIKF
AARON MITCHELL
oh my GOD when I saw this movie for a few days I'd cry sm just bc of how much I related.to him. He chews his shirt. I used to do the same when I was twelve and a bunch of my shirts had holes and still have holes but I stopped and now I just grid my teeth instead lmfao and they hurt ouch. a piece of gum is a lifesaver for.me. He's OBSESSED with dinosaurs - for me it's not dinosaurs specifically but like I've said earlier I tend to get OBSESSED with things way too much to the point everyone knows me for that thing. He's implied to have ZERO FRIENDS before meeting Abby who shares his obsession w dinosaurs (just like me and my one n only friend fr) (why do I keep getting attached to characters who previously had zero friends wtf.) LOVES to talk Abt his interest. Obsessive. Shy. Awful social skills. Takes things too literally sometimes. Calls his dad father sometimes cuz why not ("Thank you, father." after he gave him his phone back "just as promised" (except he broke it in pieces but he.kept his promise so aaron doesn't care lmao.) carries a notebook and pencil w him randomly?. his older sibling and parent argue abt the siblings college choices and you're just forced to watch and the tension is rising and you're feeling anxious and Uhm yeah. SOMETIMES KINDA ROBOTIC IN HIS SPEECH? I've noticed? Blunt. Has a TON of things related to his obsession. (For me I have primarily a tonshit of sonic themed things.) dislikes being alone. Dislikes admitting his feelings. Nerd. Uses obsession as a way to understand, contextualize and communicate with the world and his surroundings. Also chews his fingers. Always wearing sweatpants. Fidgety. Ect etc. Just lile arhghfhfng. HIM.
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Things I don't relate to - wearing shoes in bed. What the actual fuck Aaron. Also he wears socks. I don't do that unless I'm nailed down to the floor until I succumb to their nonsensical rules. Ok they KINDA make sense but I don't like them. I don't care that my shoes or feet will smell afterwards get those fucking socks away from me.
. anyway sorry. There's probably more but yeah I forgot. I actually got the urge to cry when just thinking about him a couple of times. Like wowza dawg he's just like me fr and I mean it. I can really really relate to him and I act a lot like him and I acted even more like him when I was about his age and was obsessed with exclusively sonic for like a year straight. lol
Enderman
Ok this one's a short one but yeah I can relate to them. They're just minding their own business, in their own piece, picking random things off the ground (or ground itself..), DESPISE eye contact and will get really violent if you make eye contact with them (I am not exaggerating I actually get really angry and uncomfortable with uninitiated eye contact from ppl I'm not comfy with like don't look at me stop looking at me stop looking at me.) makes random sounds sometimes, such as screeches and hisses. Unlike them I DO like water and I LOVE rain HOWEVER I DO NOT LIKE touching smaller amounts of water on surfaces where I don't expect water to be and get really grossed out and uncomfortable from it. Unless they're with their own kin they're just kinda going around, alone, minding their peace unless provoked. Like most mobs - both hostile and peaceful - acknowledge your existence, hostile ones attack you, peaceful ones like horses and sheep and pigs and wolves and cats and whatnot may look at you if you look at it and pay attention to you and some can be befriended, enderman is neither like them, they're minding their own business, they don't initiate contact like, ever, and only engage w the player when having to defend themselves... when feeling threatened EVEN if the player didn't mean to scare them, like idk I'm.noy.really used to strangers having good intentions with me so I get defensive easily .... that is irl, on the internet I definitely don't get ever scared from social interactions ahaha 😎 yeah.
So yeah the only thing I KINDA can't relate to is not liking water - I only dislike water in a very specific context so yeah. And I do make eye contact w family members usually like I've mentioned earlier - I don't know, do endermen make eye contact with each other? I'm not sure, I don't remember. There might be more to them that I relate to but I can't recall anything at the moment
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Everything I've mentioned about these characters in This post - I can relate to. These are just my feelings put imperfectly into words.... but I feel a lot about them and have felt a lot about them for quite some time.
Ducbfjrj there's also a list of characters I relate to (link in intro post) but these were the ones I related to the most
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atopvisenyashill · 1 year ago
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I love your post about Targ women choosing to have children on their own terms but I think F&B more so suggests that Aegon IV assaulted Elaena and that’s why she rushed into a marriage and possibly killed her husband to pass off Viserys as his (I just realized as I’m typing this that it’s an old post but I already typed this so 💀💀)
oh tbc im well aware the consent wrt elaena and viserys plumm is dubious at BEST, i just kinda glossed over it for the sake of the joke that targ women are constantly having bastards and trying to pass their bastards off as legitimate lol.
personally, my theory is that given that ossifer plumm is considered a wealthy man, that aegon had elaena marry ossifer to attempt to get his hands on that fortune (similar to robert marrying cersei so that jon arryn & the iron throne can gain access to the lannister gold) and either offed ossifer himself as sort of an ultimate cuckold fantasy (steal your wife, your title, and pass my baby as yours) or ossifer genuinely did just kick the bucket, so aegon forced himself (whether thru literal force or coercion) onto elaena so he could still have access to the plumm fortune.
my point about elaena in that post is more about how, due to elaena’s intelligence, ability to politic, and generally amazing moral compass considering the situation she grew up in, she managed to give both her bastards by alyn velaryon and her “bastard” viserys plumm a great life by doing her second husband’s whole ass job, gaining her own allies at court as well as daeron’s trust, and burying a lot of the scandal of her younger years by being amazing as she navigated adulthood. like, aegon iv doesn't even have a dragon he can feed his detractors to, he's just an asshole so the plumms and the people of the parchments should have put up some sort of fuss but they don't and I think that's at least in part due to elaena being well liked and well respected (and also, very likely people just felt bad for her as a victim of aegon's, which ALSO speaks to how well liked elaena is because look at the way some of the other mistresses are talked about when they're objectively victims!). and unlike most other targ women, she not only marries for love but she spends several years very happy in that marriage and it doesn't even blow up in her face!
what's fascinating in general about elaena is that she lives through a lot of the violent, vile things that a lot of targ women are forced to live through, from being creeped on by valyrian men who feel like they are Owed sexual control of female relatives, to having a bastard, to being married off as a political tool, to extreme isolation, and elaena manages to take all of that adversity and build a mostly happy life for herself, and her children and she does it without attempting to set half the continent on fire. that is amazing in this series and its part of why i'm so excited for f&b part 2 (bc she hasn't been born yet in f&b part 1, all of our info on her comes either from TWOIAF or cersei & tyrion being huge fucking nerds about history).
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