#but based on the preview i already do
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Y’ALL BEOMGYU SOUNDS SO GOOD ON THE PREVIEW
#album preview has me feeling positive about this comeback#rlly hoping i like it more than freefall#but based on the preview i already do#BEOMGYU ON QUARTER LIFE WTF#and yeonjun on deja vu????#i was not that hyped but now i’m Ready#where is my taehyun tho 👀
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the new nightmare is cool but i think not putting them in hanfu was an missed opportunity
(+ long hair version that i wasn't as sure about)
#i was going to give barbatos the Long Flowing Locks but he strikes me as the type who WOULD adhere to the tie-it-all-up rule#but then he looked bald so i gave him a bit of leeway. i mean even a lot of cdramas don't follow the rule#then satan's hair is more wuxia novel protagonist (which i feel suits him) and solomon's is unfortunately all inside his hat#well the long hair is for authenticity (lol) not Hot Boy Look anyway#art#obey me#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me satan#jtta ik#anyway wrt the new nightmare: barbatos's outer robe (dachang) DOES look like hanfu#but then he takes it off in the deflowered look and it's. idk. a sexy gongfu vest??? satan too#not that i have anything AGAINST that but if you're gonna do chinese fashion i feel like hanfu is a shoe-in#based off the previews for celestial blessing i'm assuming diavolo+lucifer+asmo will be in the second nightmare for this event#and both parts of a nightmare usually follow a theme so most likely it'll be kung fu clothes 2 electric boogaloo BUT i will hold hop#if anyone should be in hanfu it's those three. lucifer for that cold elegance dia for that regal charm and asmo for that Beautiful Princess#regardless i will probably be drawing them in hanfu anyway. in fact i already have the idea for it#it'll be ddvd because i NEED to put zhao in beautiful clothes for once. and also i really want to draw something in earnest for this au
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i have been waiting for boston to fuck chueam's brother and it is so tasty now that she kind of put him in her corner again. this is going to be such a mess. i didn't even yell "boston, no!" at my screen because i knew there was nothing going to stop him
#only friends the series#only friends#gods....nick's senior is also a creep...however...there was a daddy in boston's phone so the chances are very high that boston has had sex#with him which will bring them together at some points although i don't know to which capacity#atm i wouldn't like it if the senior turns out to be a worse guy (eh already is based on the preview) and boston comes in to 'save' nick#but i believe boston will protect nick in that regard#boston after all has a moral (?) compass - just one that usually doesn't allign with any of his friends#like: i will fuck your man but really i am just showing you who he is and since you didn't actually know him your relationship really isn#t worth enough to consider this a transgression against you as my friend#and sure i know you wouldn't want me to have sex with your little brother because you know the type of guy i am but have you considered tha#it is not your business whether he wants me#but let boston meet someone who he thinks does underhanded shit and he will fuck them up even if it looks on paper as if he's doing the sam#shit#so far the unsorted thoughts on bostonnick
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The teaser 😳
#a;msg#🍒#it surprised me even though i've already heard the song and saw the performance jhjkhnjkhrjghj sorry i'm always team spoiler#last cb they performed before the official release on wv con; this time around they did it on nhk venue 101...#i wonder why hybe jp lets them do performances before official release but jhjjknkf i like spoilers so 😭#ANYWAY the mv teaser still shocked me... i think the mv will be hella epic and more performance based this time around#compared to their previous ones which are very clearly heavy on the concept and visuals#hghjhjjh EXCITED!!!!#even from the snippets you can tell war cry is very running with the pack vibes#which i loved btw#also ngl dropkick might just steal the show for me personally (based on the album preview/highlight medley)#streets saying that &t will do international promo as well... cause dropkick is a full english song apparently 🧐#and some interview said that &t are ready to promote as a global group 👀#aaaah i can feel it. we're getting kr + intl. promotions 😭#oh wow i ramble a lot#but then again. it's been a while 🫢;; hi everyone ^^
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If you live in the US, STOP SCROLLING
This is your reminder to make a Voting Plan!
Step 1: Check your Registration
Registered already? Go to Step 3!
Step 2: Register to Vote
Step 3: Learn about your state's Early Voting Options
Like early voting and have that option? Skip to Step 5!
Step 4: Explore your Day-Of Voting Options
Step 5: Research Candidates
Step 6: Share your Plans
Detailed sample down below!
Step 1: I'm in California, so I clicked here at https://www.vote411.org/check-registration
Clicking on that took me to my state's registration check page, where I filled out in those fun black squares with my info...
...and there's my confirmation! This also provides info on where I'm currently registered to vote, which is good to know when looking up ballot drop-off locations.
Step 2: Since I already am registered I could skip this, but just to show it off here's what the online tool at https://www.vote411.org/register looks like!
The site asks you to put in your name and mailing address, and then sends you off to your own state's voter registration page to finish it up!
Step 3: Since I'm in California, I went to https://www.vote411.org/select-state and selected that state to bring up CA's voting information page.
And here's what my info looks like! The top of the page gives a quick overview of registration deadlines...
...and scrolling down reveals a bunch of additional info for any further questions! I've selected Early Voting on the lefthand tab to bring that up here.
Skimming this, it looks like California offers voting by mail, which is what I want to do.
Scrolling further down the lefthand menu I pulled up the Vote by Mail tab to learn more...
...and based on the information there I went to find the tab that would tell me about Drop Boxes in California!
Following that link brings me to California's early voting drop-off page.
For now let's just use Disneyland as our address to see where we can drop things off. Entering the county and city information we get this list:
Checking the box to Display Results on Map, it looks like there's a drop off location right by Disney that is open 24 hours! I went ahead and screenshotted the address on my computer, and opened it in google maps so that I could keep track of where it was.
Perfect, I now have a plan for dropping off my mail-in ballot!
Finally, I want to know where my mail-in ballot is. Assuming you live in a state with mail-in ballots but haven't seen yours yet, you can usually track them or request new ones if your address has recently changed.
I just googled "California mail in ballot tracking" and wound up on this page.
Filling out the little form at the Where'sMyBallot link (name and date of birth), I can see that my ballot has been sent out and is en route!
Since it was sent on October 7th, I suspect it's already arrived, and lo and behold checking my mailbox there it is buried under all the political mailers!
Step 4: Since I will be voting by mail, I will skip Step 4 for now (though vote411.org lists traditional voting areas/what I'd need to bring so that's where I'd get that info if needed!)
Step 5: When doing research I started with https://www.vote411.org/ballot, since it gives a preview image of all of the items that will be on my ballot based on my address.
I can click on any of these to see the candidate options, and their statements if they've been provided. However for many of these options on vote411.org there aren't too many additional details, so I want to do my own research looking at neutral voting summaries and candidate endorsements by groups I align with politically!
For the election summary, I started with the General Election Official Voter Information Guide booklet that was mailed to my address a few weeks ago. This is the best source of unbiased voting information in my opinion, especially when it comes to state and local propositions since it will summarize them and also include opinion pieces written for and against each one. You can also access it online, as shown below!
To find it, I googled "California Official Voter Information Guide", and made sure it was sourced from my local government.
Another good source of information I used is npr.org, or National Public Radio. NPR provides news that is free to read and listen to, and is one of my personal favorite ways to stay informed. There's also local branches of the station for every state, and each one will usually have a voting guide with side-by-side comparisons that makes it easy to read.
To find mine, I googled "California NPR Voting Guide"
Finally if there was anything on the ballot where I wasn't convinced one way or the other on certain candidates or initiatives, I checked out some political endorsements!
A few of the ones I looked at are Planned Parenthood (women's health and abortion access), the Sunrise Movement (climate activism), the Sierra Club (climate change, national park preservation). I found these by googling "[Name of org] voting guide california".
Since I'm voting by mail I could keep these webpages opened as I filled out my ballot.
For voting in person, I'd recommend writing candidates down as a cheat sheet to bring into the poll so you can remember what you want to vote for! https://www.vote411.org/ballot will let you arrange that cheat sheet real easily.
Now that my ballot is filled out I'll just drop it off at the address I found in Step 3 - setting a time for myself, I'll plan to drop it off when I go for a walk this afternoon! 👍
Step 6:
After I finished up I went ahead and posted on facebook and to my friends in discord on how I'd made a voting plan, to help encourage friends/family to do the same!
You can be as public or as personal as you want here, but sharing can help encourage others to put a plan together too - if you made it this far it can even be as simple as reblogging this post with a message saying "I Made a Voting Plan"!
#voting guide#how to vote#voting plan#I'll be sharing this a few more times before election day!#it's really important to go vote and making a voting plan helps guarantee that you'll do it!#wrote this instead of having an anxiety attack yesterday lol#this seemed more productive
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every man gets his wish // simon riley
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ "i learned how to make love from the movies" ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
pairing simon x fem!reader
content pure unadulterated smut, maybe a daddy kink?
summary the one where ghost is obsessed w a camgirl
note based off my drabble, thank you for the love ♡ lmk if you want a part twooo
There’s a special place in hell for people like Simon Riley.
He could’ve gone to heaven - but he won’t.
Simon has vices. He has anger issues, and he doesn’t like to share. He doesn’t take precautions, he’s cocky with his wallet and he most certainly doesn’t take orders from anyone.
He’s impulsive, abrasive, and most importantly - Simon Riley only thinks with his dick.
You’re the opposite of him. Careful, gentle and patient, you come across as bubbly and approachable. The sparkle in your eyes just never seemed to die, and an innocent smile is always playing at your lips. You seem to embody everything that Simon could never be.
Not that he would know - you’re just an eager camgirl with a big audience.
Every night, Simon Riley comes crawling to you like a stray dog. It wasn’t meant to be this way, so vile and naughty and delicious. He swore it would only happen once, and yet here he is, pining after the taste of you. He always finds himself with his cock in his hands, eyes rolling up to the ceiling and filthy curses slipping past his lips.
You’ve already started - much to his disappointment.
He’s usually so punctual. Never wasting your time. Always appreciative of the way your eyes sparkle with adoration when he joins the stream. Today was no different - he was just a little too eager and spent the last hour jerking off to the thought of you.
And he’s gonna do it again
The room is cast in a soft glow, your legs tucked beneath you and the soft hum of music playing in the background. Your soft skin is covered in red lingerie, pillowy tits covered by the lace that he bought.
It’s a damn shame - the way Simon can’t be there to take it off himself.
In contrast to the natural shine you give off, Simon is drowned out by the dark moonlight. His body casually leans back against the headboard, eyes trained on the illuminated screen that separates you from him. While he is adorned in shadows, you shine with the soft glow of your exposed skin.
Your lips, pulled into a little pout. Your delicate fingers, dipping between your plush thighs. The ebbs and flow of your body, curves and blemishes that he’s memorized like he owns you.
It’s quite pathetic, really - how infatuated he’s become with a camgirl. But he can’t help himself. He’s got all your videos saved in a folder that he opens at every opportunity.
He’s cum to you more times than he can count, always groaning as the hot ropes of white liquid splatter against his skin. He’d tip you relentlessly, always accompanied by a foreboding message that sent chills along your spine.
Missed you, princess. What a good girl. Finished so soon? What a beautiful little slut.
Your hands are wrapped around a little pink toy that you push between your thighs. It hums against your skin, causing Simon to angrily palm himself through his pants. The sickeningly sweet sound of your gasp has him reeling, cock already beginning to twitch and drip with precum.
His hand continues to palm at it, ignoring the little stain that starts to form on his pants as you continue to stimulate yourself. You gently part your thighs, hair framing your face as you give him - yes, him - a little preview of his deepest desires.
You’re already wet, and he curses himself for being late today. Simon is memorizing the little bow on your panties, the way you push the vibrator against the soft fabric and let your little plump lips part for a moan.
He’s got a toothy grin, rubbing at the tip of his cock and imagining that it’s your delicate hands struggling to wrap around him.
You’d blink up at him with full and eager eyes, lip pulled between your teeth. You’d gently unzip his pants, fingernails dragging against his skin and causing his dick to perk up. He’d rub the pad of his thumb against your cheek, a nasty smirk plastered across his face.
Simon imagines that your tongue would give gentle licks against his irritated tip, that you’d hollow out your cheeks and suck him off until his cum is coating your throat. He would continue to lazily fuck your mouth, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes as you hummed against his cock.
The sound of your little gasps pulls him from the daydream, eyes sharply trained on the screen as you pull your panties to the side and rub the vibrator against your clit. Your chest is pressed outwards, nipples hard against the red lace that separates him from you.
Before he can stop himself, with his cock twitching underneath his touch and thumb rubbing softly over his tip, he absently clicks on the keyboard. It’s a good thing he’s got his card number memorized.
$250 from Ghost_Stalker
-smile pretty for me, princess.
You pause your movement, vibrator stuck between your folds as you writhe and twitch against it. You squint your eyes, rolling over the message once. Twice. Three times before a smile is tugging at your lips. A hand comes up to squeeze your tit, fingernails dragging against the lace as you lean into the camera and smile sweetly.
“hi ghost - i missed you.”
His belt hits the floor before you finish your sentence.
Your voice is thick like honey, laced with desire that Simon is convinced was meant just for him. The vibrator begins to move again, pressing into your wet core with a little squelch as you mewl out in pleasure.
He follows your pace, eyes fixated on the pink toy that dips in and out of your little pussy. It stretches you, pushing against your folds and humming against you.
Simon is messily jerking himself off as you roll your hips against the vibrator, letting soft pleas fall from your lips. He spits on the tip of his cock, palm rubbing it against his shaft as he grunts happily. The slick and lazy strokes mirror the way you rub the vibrator greedily against your clit, thighs parting like the gates of heaven.
He wants in.
When you pull the toy away from you, the sound of your dripping cunt follows along with it. You wiggle closer to the camera, eyes blown out with pleasure as you press the pink toy into your mouth and lick. Tongue sloppy, eyes rolling in ecstasy and hips bucking against the pillow underneath you.
$300 from Ghost_Stalker
-i missed you more princess. missed your pretty little pussy.
“prove it,” you challenge.
His head slams against the back of the chair, cock covered in his spit as the sounds of your soft laughter that plays from his screen. He bucks his hips up with his movements, imagining that your body is curled around him and bouncing on his lap.
Your nails would drag against his skin, leaving harsh red lines in their wake as he’d let his hand fly to your ass with a sickening smack.
You’d jump, grinding your mound into him with desperation as your perky tits rub against his chest. Simon imagines himself nipping, licking and biting at them, his dick throbbing at the way you’d drool out his name.
In his dreams, you’re an obedient little slut. Ever a tease, you’d bounce on his dick one minute and beg for a kiss the next. He’d wrap his hand around your throat, choking you until you’re seeing stars and begging him for more.
You’re chatting away with sleazy men who can’t afford you, and it makes Simon enraged. It’s him who matters. It’s him who should have your attention. It’s him who you should open your legs for. His stroking gets aggressive, jaw set and hardened as you blow kisses and make false promises. Simon is rubbing himself raw, his free hand going to cup his balls and gently squeeze.
And then someone asks you where you got your cute little outfit. And like the vixen you are, you smile sweetly into the camera and push your tits together.
“Oh? these? they were a gift from someone special.”
And it’s true. He’s your favorite. He’s the one who you’re dreaming of - and it’s embarrassing to pine after a man you’ve never met. But it’s washed away by the burning desire to please him. Only him.
He’s trying so hard to hang on. To regain some sense of normalcy as his dick continues to twitch and warmth spreads throughout his body like an inferno. His eyes are trained on your curves, the way you’ve got a smile lighting your face up as your hips grind into the soft pillow below you. He’s slapping the tip of his dick against his abdomen, letting the beads of precum splat against his skin and forever stain him a sinner.
Here he goes again, thinking with his dick.
$500 from Ghost_Stalker
-put on a good show for daddy.
And you do. The red lace has been slipped off of you, tossed to the side as you reach over and off the screen to grab something. A perfect angle of your tits in full view. Simon follows every movement. He licks his lips in anticipation, stomach heavy with desire.
You sheepishly pull the dildo out, smacking it against your outstretched tongue and dipping a hand between your legs. Dripping, wet beyond comprehension and Simon is lucky enough to watch as you curl your fingers inside your pussy and mewl.
His hips are rutting up, hand fisting his cock in desperation as you suck on the dildo while fingerfucking yourself. His chest is tight, sweat glistening against his skin while he watches intensely. So fucking wet.
You hope he’s watching. You’re praying that he’s jerking off to the sight of you. That you’re both staring up at the ceiling, eyes searching for the constellations that brought you together when the stars aligned.
Is it wrong? To want something that you’ve never known?
Simon can tell you’re becoming undone. You always get riled up with his words, eyes full of excitement as he showers you with attention every stream. In his fantasy, Simon thinks you wished that your delicate fingers were his. That you wanted him to slowly rub at your bud of nerves and press his fingers into your cunt. And then he’d have you sit on his cock and make him watch as he licked his fingers clean.
He can’t help himself when you’re like this, messy and needy on screen with your wet pussy smearing against the pillow that he wishes was his face. You’re whining and panting, fingers dipping in and out of your core as Simon picks up the pace and lets the heat travel up his skin and light him ablaze. Your voice is music to his ears.
“i’m so close- fuck. please, i- gonna cum.”
When you climax, your chest is heaving and a layer of sweat has covered your soft skin. Your hands are dancing across your soft tits, twisting at your hardened nipples that all but scream bite me. He’s smearing more spit all over himself, breath coming out in short pants and eyes dark and heavy.
The dildo rests against your folds, almost as if it’s taunting him. And so what if he blows all him money in one night? It’s going to a good cause - at least, that’s what he’s convinced himself.
$2500 from Ghost_Stalker
-again.
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth at the message, ignoring the chat as it blows up at the extra show. You’re already eager, smacking the tip of the dildo against your folds and rolling your hips upwards.
“a little desperate tonight? i don’t mind - anything for daddy”
It takes everything in him not to cum right then and there. Simon feels like he’s died and been reborn. Like a siren has sung him to a peaceful sleep. Like the explanations for his bank statements are worth it. And when you press the tip of the toy into your dripping wet hole, it feels like Simon can practically smell your sickeningly sweet pussy.
He thinks it smells like candy.
You wince at every inch of silicone that slides into you. Your thighs are trembling, an arm propping yourself up as you whine and mewl like his favorite little kitten. The camera is shaking from your movements, head hung back in ecstasy as you bottom out the dildo and sigh happily.
Such a dirty slut, Simon muses. So nasty. At this point, his strokes are quick and methodical. Tugging at his tip that’s still producing precum, almost as if it’s desperate for release. His balls ache, his eyebrows are knitted in concentration and his abs are tight with anticipation.
“m’ so wet,” you gasp, the sounds of your pussy flitting against the dildo playing on repeat in Simon’s mind. Your thighs are spread fully, and your pillowy tits are jiggling with the movement of you fucking yourself. “are you watching?”
There’s a frenzy in the chat, a hundred eager men thinking that your words are meant for them. You raise yourself to your knees, angling to toy to press against your folds as you bite your lip. “i bet you are. guess what?” You breathe, eyes twinkling with mischief. “i wish you were here.”
Oh, how wrong they were.
He's close. The edge that he’s built is about to fall beneath him, collapse into a million pieces while you get drunk off the way the dildo slips in and out of you. Your eyes are squeezed shut and your chest is heaving, lungs struggling to take in air as you climb that high once more.
You whine and beg to yourself. Simon curses and lets his hips snap up against his stroking. His cock is unbearably hard, skin tingling with the sensation of pure lust that consumes him. You bounce and grind on the dildo with need, hair falling back against your bare shoulders as Simon drinks in every ounce of you.
Legs shaking, tits bouncing and hands coming up to play with your nipples, you look like a goddess. He’s never been so entranced, so enthralled and so obsessed. The way your nails dig into your skin, squeals of pleasure ripping through your stomach as you cum around the toy. You roll your hips greedily, savoring the orgasm and rubbing quick circles against your clit.
It’s all that it takes to have him squeezing the tip of his cock and shooting hot cum all over his stomach. It’s shameful, pathetic and downright heavenly. He promises that he’ll never cum to anyone but you.
The overstimulation has you reeling, chest heaving and eyes watering in excitement as a wave of pure bliss is crashing against you. The chat is singing praises to you, falling on deaf ears as you lazily still your hips and lean forward - dildo still firmly shoved in your pussy.
“are you satisfied?” You ask innocently. No, never. You don’t say his screen name, but it doesn’t matter, he knows it’s him you’re talking to. He knows by the way you slide off the toy, hair sticking to your skin as you slip on the red lace as a sign that the shows coming to an end. He knows by the way you dip your fingers between your wet folds, gathering the sticky cum around your digits - before you lick it off them like such a good girl.
He has to have you.
$5000 from Ghost_Stalker
-i’ll double it if you do it again
#simon ghost riley#cod fanfic#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare 2#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x reader#simon riley smut#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley imagine#simon riley fanfic#simon riley imagine#simon riley x you#cod fic#cod mw22#cod x reader#cod imagine#cod mwii#cod mw3#cod modern warfare#ghost cod#cod mw2
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Mr. Rockstar (J.J.K)
Preview: Your black sequined set hugged your body perfectly from what he could see, your appearance alone made his mouth water. If anyone was coming home with him, it would be you.
contains - rockstar!Jungkook, chubby reader, riding, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, nipple play, mentions of alcohol, non established relationship MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
word count - 2.5k/ unedited
These shows usually went the same way, a dimly lit club with stuffy air and screaming girls. Jungkook loved the attention, what twenty something year old boy wouldn’t? They would always fawn over the dark sleeve of tattoos that lined his arm while he stood at the bar after his set, boys and girls alike.
The lights beat down on Jungkook, the sweat dripping down his face as he sang into the mic. He couldn’t wait to get off stage, get a drink at the bar, and get back to the hotel. Maybe he would get lucky and take someone home, but based on how his night was already, he had his doubts.
That was, until a black sparkle caught his eye. A smirk painted his face as his eyes traced over the person dancing in the front row. Your black sequined set hugged your body perfectly from what he could see, your appearance alone made his mouth water. If anyone was coming home with him, it would be you.
Once his set ended, he stripped in the changing room, opting for a shirt that wasn’t drenched in his own sweat. He freshened up before leaving, going back out on the club floor to search for you. He spotted you at the bar, giggling with a friend with a drink in your hand.
He stepped to an open spot next to you, flagging down the bartender with a kind smile. Your head turned to look at him and Jungkook could swear you took his breath away.
“Could I buy you a drink?” He leaned down to ask in your ear. His breath tickled the sensitive skin, a shiver running down your spine.
“Hm, usually I’ll play hard to get, but you’re cute, and I want another drink,” You giggled, placing your hand on his chest. “I’ll let you buy me a drink.”
Jungkook smirked at you, watching as you told the bartender what you wanted, followed by him sliding his card into his hand. He turned back to you, admiring the outfit you had picked for the night. The way your arms fell at your sides, the soft skin slightly red from the rough plastic. He wanted to admire the outfit in better lighting, to watch how your curves moved as you slid off your pants, the supple skin that was gently hanging over the top of your pants being freed, the way your breasts would fall as you took off your top.
He was snapped out of his thoughts as you giggled, moving slightly closer to him in the growing crowd. “So, Mr. Rockstar, did you buy me this drink out of the kindness in your heart or were you hoping for something more?” You spoke over the loud music that the DJ had started playing
“To be honest, I was hoping to get you out of that outfit tonight. As amazing as it is, I’d much rather see what you look like without it.” He chuckled and took a sip of his drink.
You smiled up at him. “I might have to take you up on that offer, how about we dance a bit and then you can take me home?” You set your, now finished, drink down on the bar before grabbing Jungkook's hand to pull him to the dance floor.
The two of you danced for a bit, which had turned into mostly sloppy grinding. The sloppy grinding turned into a hot kiss, and Jungkook had to hold himself back from taking you right there on the dance floor.
“Let’s take this somewhere else,” He suggested, pulling you out of the dance floor and towards the double doors next to the stage. He smiled at security and pulled you through, to a much quieter area.
Your tipsy giggles filled the space as Jungkook pulled you towards the back, collecting his personal belongings and texting his manager. As much as he wanted to fuck you backstage, the amount of cameras and people made him slightly anxious.
He led you to a big van with blacked out windows. The driver continued to stare forward as the two of you stumbled in, taking a seat on the long bench in the back.
“Hm… I know you’re hot but are you sure this isn’t a kidnapping?” You let out a nervous giggle as Jungkook brushed your hair out of the way to suck a mark on your neck. The cold metal of his lip ring against your skin made you jump slightly. Your worries flew out of the window as he gently bit down on the skin and immediately soothed the area with a soft lick. The whimper that was torn from your throat was almost embarrassing. Almost.
It didn’t take long to arrive at the hotel, a quick drive full of hot touches and messy giggling. Jungkook tugged you to his room, barely even looking as he scanned the keycard and pushed into the room. He grunted as he pulled away, flopping to sit on the edge of the plush bed in the center of the room. He spread his legs, the tight fabric of his jeans outlining the definition in his thighs and the bulge growing in his pants. You watched as the muscles in his arms rippled as he leaned back to rest on his hands.
“Let me see the outfit,” He bit his lip, the piercing sat in his lip getting caught between his teeth. “Give me a twirl, baby girl.”
You blushed, giving Jungkook a slow turn. His eyes scanned you, how the black fabric sat over your rolls, how the fabric sat tight against your skin. He eyed the stretch marks on the backs of your arms, wondering just where else you had them. Surely they lined your thighs and ass, maybe you even had some on your stomach. His mouth was watering at the thought, he couldn’t wait to feel them under his fingers, under his lips.
“God,” He groaned, his hand moving to rub at his cock through his jeans. “I love it, but I wanna rip it off you.”
You smiled at him, moving closer to straddle him. You moved his hand before sitting down, placing it on your ass as you took a seat. He got the message, gripping and rolling your hips forward as soon as you got settled. You ducked your head down, placing soft kisses to the skin of his neck. Soft whines flew from his throat, egging you on.
You sighed against his throat as his hands unclasped the tight, corset-like material of your top. The material was starting to irritate your skin, leaving lines and slightly red areas where it was the tightest. Jungkook ran his fingers over the sensitive skin, gently teasing the area. He sat back, eyes lowering to admire your body.
He let out a groan as his hands reached up, gently squeezing your breasts. His thumbs flicked over your nipples, causing your eyes to roll back for a second. He dipped down, taking one of the hardened buds into his mouth. He looked up at you, eyes hooded and pupils blown, while he gently played with your other boob. You whimpered and let your hands fall to his hair, brushing the long locks out of his eyes before gripping the strands at the crown of his head.
His eyes fluttered closed as he let out a small hum, pulling away with a little pop to pay attention to your other breast. You gripped the locks harder, pulling him away when he began to rut up against you. His mouth fell open in a whimper and he bit his lip as you smirked at him.
“Getting a little desperate, are we?” You teased lightly, wiggling a little on his lap.
“Baby, I am going to fucking ruin you.” He growled. Your heart began to race as he wrapped his arms around you and flipped you onto your back, now hovering over you. “Not so tough now, are you?”
You hummed lightly and nodded. “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, Mr. Rockstar.” You smirked up at him, letting out a little moan as you dragged your hands over the curves of your body.
His hands moved down to your pants in record time, unbuttoning the material and pulling them down, exposing the soft flesh. Jungkook could feel himself growing impossibly harder, soaking a wet spot on the front of his underwear, at the sight. Your supple thighs, the gentle pudge of your belly, god he was weak.
He dipped down, lips making contact with your stomach, kissing down, down, down. His tongue peeked out and gave teasing licks over the stretch marks on your tummy, humming as he pushed your thighs apart. Jungkook could feel his mouth watering as he stared at your skimpy underwear, the fabric soaked.
“Well, these aren’t doing you any good, now are they?” He hooked a finger under the thin fabric and snapped the waist band. “Why don’t I get rid of them for you?”
You gasped as he completely tore the fabric off your body and threw it, giving you no time to react before he dipped down and began feverishly licking at your pussy. A broken moan left your lips and you dug your hands into his hair. The heat of his tongue was just right, hitting every spot perfectly.
You glanced down, catching a glimpse of his eyes. He was staring up at you, eyes dark and glossy. He moaned against you, digging his face deeper into you. His hands gripped your hips, fingertips digging into the skin. You whimpered as you pulled his hair and dropped your head into the pillows. Sin, he was pure sin.
Jungkook continued to eat you out, tongue working absolute miracles on your clit. He was alternating between flicking the sensitive bud and sucking, bringing you close to the edge before switching, leaving just enough time in between to leave you wobbling a few steps back from orgasm. Two tattooed fingers made their way to your entrance, sinking in and immediately finding the spot that makes your vision go black.
His tongue and fingers moved in time together, creating a beautiful symphony of wet sounds and moans. Your orgasm was quickly reapproaching, a fire was lit in your belly and there was no stopping it.
“O-oh fuck- fuck,” You whimpered as your thighs began to shake, hand tightening in Jungkooks locks. You pulled him impossibly closer, thighs squeezing around his head as your orgasm took over. The warmth spread down to your toes, and through your body as you rode it out on his tongue and fingers, hips twitching in search of friction.
Jungkook removed his fingers and quickly placed them in his mouth, cleaning any remaining traces of you from them, before ditching his pants. You watched in awe as his cock bounced, tip glistening with precum and ruby red. He wrapped his hand around it, head falling back to expose his perfect neck as he gave himself a few tugs.
As soon as he crawled back onto the bed, you wasted no time in jumping on top of him. You needed him. You let out a loud groan in unison as you sunk down on him. His cock sat so perfectly inside of you, so warm and hitting every spot perfectly.
You gave him no time to adjust, instead rocking your hips back and forth in a steady motion. Your hands found their way to his chest, fingers gripping the soft material of his t-shirt as you bounced on him. Whimpers sounded around the room, and you weren’t sure if they were from you or Jungkook.
“Take it off,” You pulled at his shirt. “Please, get it off.” You balled the fabric up and began trying to tug it over his head. Jungkook assisted you, working feverishly to get the shirt off. Once the fabric was finally ditched, you couldn't help but admire the man beneath you.
Colorful tattoos decorated his skin, leading to a broad and muscular chest, down to a set of chiseled abs. You groaned and leaned back slightly, gripping Jungkook's thighs as you rocked your hips faster, milking more noises from him. The muscles contracted under your fingers as he rocked up to meet your movements.
Jungkook's hands trailed all over your body, touching and squeezing every inch of exposed skin that he could get his hands on. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.” He grunted out, fingers finding purchase on your hips, gripping the flesh.
You whined in response, your rhythm beginning to slow as you grew tired. Your fingers found their way to his nipples, gently rolling the buds between your fingers. You couldn’t help but smirk at the shiver that snuck its way through his entire body as you played with the sensitive buds.
“Come here,” Jungkook wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You collapsed forward and caught him in a sloppy kiss. You gasped as he adjusted, placing his feet flat on the bed and began bucking his hips up into you at a fast pace. His hips made contact with your ass with every thrust, a loud smacking noise echoing throughout the room.
You moaned into his mouth with every movement, your tongues sloppily meeting in the middle and caressing each other in the most sinful way. You sucked his bottom lip into your mouth, giving a slight nibble as you pulled away to catch your breath.
You were getting close again, the fire was burning low in your belly and beginning to spread down to your hips. Jungkooks pace was speeding up and getting sloppy, leading you to believe he was in the same boat.
“Gonna, ah fuck-” He groaned. “Gonna fuckin’ fill you up so good.” He dug his nails into your back and wrapped his lips around your collarbone. He sucked a dark purple mark into the skin, giving it a quick bite before pulling off. His hips bucked into you at the perfect angle, stroking your walls just right.
“Fuck, I’m close.” You whimpered, your hands gripping around to find something, anything, to hold on to. You tightened around Jungkook, your ears ringing and vision going black as you released.
A moan ripped through Jungkook as he pressed up one final time, painting your walls with thick, hot, ropes. He gently pushed through both of your releases, hugging your body tight as you both took deep breaths and tried to come down. A thick coat of sweat covered both of you.
You sat back up, his now softening cock still nestled deep in you, and ran a hand through your hair. You glance back down at Jungkook, who is resting beautifully against the plush hotel pillows. His cheeks are flushed, lips pink and swollen, and his eyes are closed. You allow yourself to bask in the moment, silence covering the hotel room.
Jungkook breaks the silence first. “So, after our shower, you wanna grab some dinner?” He cracked an eye open to peak up at you. “My treat.”
“Okay, Mr. Rockstar.” You giggled. “I’ll meet you in there,”
Jungkook watched as you stood up and sauntered off towards the bathroom, hips swaying as you walked. He bit his lip as he watched, and couldn’t seem to get up fast enough when you turned around and beckoned him over.
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook one shot#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts one shot#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#my writing#text#this has also been sitting in my drafts for months#literally started this last year
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Howdy, Simmers! I'm thrilled to present the Ultimate 4T2 Clay Hair Default Replacement Collection, designed to give your Sims a fresh and fabulous new look effortlessly! 💇♀️💇♂️✨
It's time to redefine Sim style – one fabulous hairstyle at a time. Get ready for a hair revolution with The Ultimate 4T2 Clay Hair DR Collection! 💖🌟
🍡Download - LC | MF 🍡
Updates folder - SFS | MF updated 5 Dec 2024
The nitty gritty details and disclaimers:
This is an entire collection that is interwoven with each other. Hair is repositoried to different ages, genders, defaults, and even hidden toddler hair. It's highly recommended that the collection stay intact and that you have the Ultimate Collection or all EP/SP. Recategorizers do not work with this collection
Not all hair works with each sims' faces and not all sims' faces work with each hair. So keep in mind foreheads, cheeks and ears may poke out. Previews are available at LordCrumps.com
The collection includes add ons that may require the defaults and are flagged as "Store Edition" hair. TS4 hairs range from base game to the most recent Stuff Pack (Home Chef Hustle). More hair may be included as add ons in the future.
Enable Store Edition icon
I wouldn't convert some hair without their outfit counterparts. Please make sure to remove conflicts. The outfits include:
ubodymascotknight_EP7 mbodysuperninja pubodybadger_badger pubodybadger_brown ubodycommercialmascot_buns ubodysocialbunny servo ubodycowmascot (a brighter/whiter version courtesy of tvickiesims)
Most of these hairs exist already in the realm of the community as custom hairstyles. Any of my hair previously converted (shrink, servo, santa hat, etc) should be removed; they'll be included in this collection.
TOU: Please feel free to use these as a template for your defaults and recolor the hair as you'd prefer for download purposes. I only ask that you do not reupload these original files (breaking down to packs, gender, etc) as they are intertwined and may not work without their exclusive counterparts. Please do not make these hairs as customs for reupload.
There are a few hair/items that use cc: credit: nolansims, sforzinda, arethabee
This took about... 8 months to complete. I've (re)converted all of these myself to my current expectations of my conversion content. This was play tested thoroughly over the course of that time. If there are any issues, please don't hesitate to send an ask. The file size is massive even compressed, but to be honest it's pretty decent for 500+ hair.
Under the cut are some personal sappy thank you notes that I want to share publicly:
Thank you to the defaulters at sims2defaults database for all your work! Just be kind if/when you tear into it lol
A humongous thank you to those whom have followed and been a part of my journey as a cc creator/converter. This inadvertently marks a huge follower milestone as well and I'm so happy that you all have been a part of this with me for the past (almost) 3 years!
I don't think I would have done this without meeting @lordcrumps over a year ago and joining in his journey for the ultimate 4t2 default collection. He's a true gentleman and scholar 🧐Thank you for play testing, collaborating, and above all, being one of my bestest of friends and confidant.
And, I would never ever had completed this without @tvickiesims. To think she raised me from a terrible toddler right into an angsty teen within that 8 months and still remained a true and close friend through all of it. Thank you for your extensive and detailed play testing, your companionship when I fall apart, and for being my twin flame 🤗
#4t2#s2cc#sims 2 cc#sims 2 download#ts2cc#4t2cc#ts2 download#the sims 2 cc#4t2 conversion#sims 4t2#4t2 hair#4t2 clothes#sims 2 clothes#ts2 defaults#sims 2 defaults#download#dl:def#dl:h#dl:fh#dl:mh
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dumb frat boy - TEASER
🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.”
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
“Burner phone, baby.”
“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.
“Why so serious, Angel?”
“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”
“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”
“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”
“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.”
“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff.
“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”
“Never even heard of it.”
“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.”
“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.
“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”
“What’s The Black Phone movie?”
“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?”
You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”
“I one hundred percent do!”
“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”
“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?”
☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.4k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here
👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr Saturday the 19th of October 2024
🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list
interact to be tagged when the fic is posted, reblogs and replies will be prioritized
#haechan#haechan smut#lee donghyuck#lee donghyuck smut#lee haechan#lee haechan smut#donghyuck#donghyuck smut#nct#nct 127#nct smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream#nct dream smut#frat haechan
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Werewolf: the Apocalypse 5th Edition and the Anti-Indigeneity in the Gaming Industry
reosted with permission from J.F. Sambrano
Dagot’ee!
Shii J.F. Sambrano gonsēē. My nations are Chiricahua Apache (Ndeh) through my maternal grandmother and Cora Indian (Náayarite) through my maternal grandfather. I am a mixed race Indigenous person, and through my father my heritage is English and Scottish. I am currently residing and doing work in my community on the lands of Lummi Nation. I use both gender non-binary and masculine pronouns, but prefer the former. I have several published works in the TTRPG industry, and am probably most known for my contributions to Mage: the Ascension 20th Edition, Werewolf: the Apocalypse 20th Edition, and the Transformers Roleplaying Game, as well as being part of the Essence 20 development team. Further, I also work in higher education at an Indian college, both advising and teaching Indigenous students across the United States. My passion is education, and I believe that we all learn through play, and that TTRPGs are a valuable source of learning, especially on personal, cultural, and social levels. This has always been what has drawn me to TTRPGs since I started playing M.E.R.P. with my brother in 1996 (and before that HeroQuest), through to my “graduation” into more story-driven games such as those presented in the Storyteller System, until now, where I author and produce my own roleplaying games.
I was also part of the First Team (in-joke intentional) hired by White Wolf Studios/Paradox Interactive via Hunters Entertainment to develop and author Werewolf: the Apocalypse 5th Edition. After several months of work, Paradox Interactive chose to go in another direction in early 2021 (I believe it was either March or April) and in fall of that year, it was announced that Werewolf would instead be taken in house, with Justin Achilli as the Brand Creative Lead and primary author of the book. Going forward I will be describing my experience while I worked with Paradox Interactive, primarily through Karim Muammar, White Wolf’s Brand Editor, as well as the developmental editor for Werewolf. Although I worked in a team, both with hired authors and in-house representatives at Hunters Entertainment, I will not be speaking for the experience of others, except when specifically noting unanimous consensuses, and specific interactions (which will go unnamed) that are particularly relevant. My hope is that by highlighting some of the anti-Indigenous attitudes that are central to the foundational members and leaders of the White Wolf brand, that I can provide opportunities for growth and healing within the World of Darkness TTRPG community, but also in the broader gaming community, where these behaviors and attitudes are rampant. I also want the community to have a better understanding of what this experience is like internally, and the challenges that Indigenous creators, as well as other marginalized creators, are met with when they try to make positive change within nerd and geek communities clinging to inherited white supremacist values, even if they don’t realize they are doing so.
What I do not want to be doing in this article is creating fuel for edition wars. I believe that both legacy and Werewolf 5th are rife with anti-Indigenous attitudes, and appalling amounts of appropriation. Both versions deserve criticism, I am not defending one over the other, I am only sharing what my experience was like working on the 5th edition of the book. Further, please understand that I was originally going to wait until I had read the final copy of the book, because I wanted to know how much of my work was used (based on previews I already know some was, just not the extent) and whether or not they decided to credit me for that work, and how I was going to be credited. My belief is that I likely will not be, but I am genuinely uncertain. Knowing how they handled that would have reframed how I addressed this. But more importantly, I want it to be very clear that even before Paradox ultimately pulled the plug on the Hunters team, I was preparing to exit working on the project based on the experience I will describe below. Not only did I find it frustrating, and personally disparaging, but I ultimately decided I was uncomfortable with my name being attached to the product based on the direction they wanted to go. So while I wanted to know whether or not I would be credited, because it would teach me something about their internal practices, I do not want or need the credit.
Finally, the reason that I decided to speak about this now instead of after having a chance to inspect the final product, was because my personal experience dealing with anti-Indigeneity coming from Paradox was just that: personal. But since then I have witnessed a throughline of hateful and xenophobic attitudes wielded against Indigenous people across the globe, and we do not deserve this treatment. I was outraged over the events that led to the segregation of the Latin American fanbase, which culminated from bottom-up criticism about how poorly their people and countries were being defined through World of Darkness products, and ended up with the firing of their Latin American Brand Ambassador, Alessa Torres, because she chose to stand with her community in those criticisms. I was further appalled when the likeness of Tāme Wairere Iti was shoehorned into the Werewolf book, a blatant example of cultural theft: not only in stealing the literal physical identity of an Indigenous person, but also his sacred tā moko. When Paradox Interactive issued an apology for this, it felt incredibly hollow to me in the wake of these events, the hateful attitudes I had personally witnessed coming from the top.
Whether from North America, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, or Peru, or across the globe in New Zealand, not only do Indigenous people deserve better treatment from such a major company, but their Indigenous and Latino fanbases, who have twisted and worked themselves through difficult representation for decades at this point, deserve better. Apologies are not enough, especially when they come with next to no real change.
Werewolf: the Apocalypse in Context
At the time that White Wolf Publishing began to produce its World of Darkness line, the TTRPG industry was dominated by white men, both as producers, developers, and authors, as well as the main characters in their settings. White Wolf's World of Darkness made an impact at the time, by defying these Eurocentric, patriarchal presentations, first by defaulting to feminine pronouns throughout Vampire: the Masquerade, and then by focusing on Indigenous representation and values in Werewolf: the Apocalypse, and as a young Indigenous nerd, it had a positive impact on me, as I know it has on some other Indigenous people who became fans of the World of Darkness at the time. This was because before opening the pages of Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I had never seen heroes that I could play who looked like me and my culture. It was off, and often offensive, but it was my first experience in which I could directly play a hero who shared my heritage--and I also had more than one option through two different Tribes to do so. This might sound a little like I was cheering for table scraps, but again, at the time, table scraps was more than I had ever seen before.
Werewolf: the Apocalypse 1st Edition was originally published in 1992 via then White Wolf Publishing (not to be confused with Paradox Interactive's White Wolf). From its inception, the premise was interwoven with what its then-authors believed to be Indigenous praxis and representation. Like many pop-culture presentations of Indigeneity from this time period (see Fern Gully, Dances With Wolves, Disney’s Pocahontas, or in TTRPGs, the NAN from Shadowrun) it was rife with problematic and even offensive stereotyping. The most obvious examples thereof are within the two "Pure Tribes" Uktena, and W****** who I will henceforth refer to as Older and Younger Brother. However, Indigenous inspiration was at the core of the game's spiritual premise as well, where animism and "Totems" are central to the setting and gameplay. The way these concepts are presented is trivializing and dehumanizing, but it is important to acknowledge that the appropriation present in Werewolf: the Apocalypse goes a lot deeper than the two Brother Tribes (even the term "Tribe" was meant to invoke a vision of Indigeneity compared to the previous setting in the line's use of "Clan"). Additionally, there is art throughout every generation of these gaming books that represents humans, wolves, and human-wolf hybrid forms wearing Indigenous regalia, including sacred items such as headdresses, or engaged in sacred rituals such as the Sun Dance. The list of problematic representations goes deep, and my examples only scratch the surface, but it is also important for me to note the positive impact that this had, particularly in the 90's.
Even though the primary contributors to these narratives were non-Indigenous authors, or in one case, a Pretendian, and another, a culturally disconnected author, by the time the Revised (or Third Edition) era of the books came around, White Wolf Publishing was actively engaged in cultural consultation. While I do not believe cultural consultation makes a big difference on its own, it matters that the attempt was made, to a degree: while these efforts fall short of what needs to be seen in cultural representation, this was still ahead of most other gaming companies at this time.
Hired by Hunters Entertainment
In February of 2020 I was approached by one of the co-owners of Hunters Entertainment to be one of the primary authors for Werewolf: 5th Edition due to my work on other World of Darkness projects, and let's be honest, because I was capable of bringing a much needed Indigenous perspective to a gameline that was rooted in Indigeneity and rotting with appropriation and racist stereotypes. I was overall receptive to the invitation, largely because I was very passionate about the World of Darkness setting overall, and Werewolf in particular, due to the impact that 90's representation had on me when I was a younger gamer. I also felt hopeful that with a really hard rewrite of Indigenous aspects of the game that I could shift a lot of really painful aspects of the game into something that was a net positive for Indigenous representation. I will tell you now, more than anything, I was excited to rewrite the Younger Brother Tribe, because when separated from racist authors, their message is very empowering and real to my lived experience.
That said, I did not agree to join the project without first asking for reassurances. I said that I was not willing to write negative Native stereotypes. I would not use appropriative language, or generally engage in appropriative writing (which meant at minimum that the names of the Pure Tribes would need to change), and most importantly, that I would not not engage in writing that contributed to erasure. While the person who recruited me to work on the project was eager to work with me, he acknowledged that he was not sure he could get everything I wanted to see approved, but also promised to fight for everything I suggested as hard as he could. Additionally, he shared with me that the original setting pitch for W5 involved all of Younger Brother being slaughtered en masse in a massacre. I made it clear that this was exactly the kind of thing that I would not write. I cannot remember if this was something he suggested to be changed before or after I was invited onto the project, but with some pushback it was changed. However, I point this out because I want you, the reader, to understand how eager Paradox Interactive was to start with mass genocide and erasure as a foundation to the setting. All that said, I cannot stress enough that I have had nothing but positive experiences with Hunters Entertainment, and none of the following concerns fall upon them.
The Sword of Heimdall
The first encounter the Hunters Entertainment team as a whole had with problematic guidelines for the W5 draft was the direction that Paradox Interactive wanted to go with the Sword of Heimdall. At the time, the suggestions from Paradox and Karim Muammar were that the Sword of Heimdall was going to represent the new major villain of the Werewolf setting, and that they were to also represent the far-right, fascist direction that Werewolf society so often turned toward. They were meant to be representative of how far the new concept of Hauglosk could take entire communities. However, the Sword of Heimdall was discussed interchangeably with the Get of Fenris as a whole, and more than once Muammar seemed to suggest that every member of this Tribe was guilty of the same attitudes espoused in previous editions from the Sword of Heimdall. Now let's not beat around the bush: the Sword of Heimdall are literal Nazis. They believe directly in white supremacy and don't shy from it. They wanted to cleanse impure elements from the Get of Fenris, including BIPOC people, other non-white ethnicities, women, neurodivergent Garou, and other disabled Garou.
The writing team found this approach problematic for several reasons. The first, and most obvious, was that the direction seemed to want to turn one of the most popular Tribes into a horrific stereotype of its most abhorrent faction. Whether or not Muammar’s goal was to turn them into villains, we could not imagine a world where fans of previous editions would get their hands on this book, and not look for a way to play one of their previous favorite groups, thus creating the issue of making a guide to playing Nazi. Even beyond that, it’s not as if historically there were not players who used the tools of the setting to play Black Spiral Dancers, why wouldn’t this draw people who actually wanted to role-play through these toxic, harmful politics? Further, and while this is less important, it left a bad taste in my mouth, the justification for this major shift in Werewolf lore seemed to change over each pass. At first, Muammar suggested that all Fenrir were Nazis/SoH. Then, when he was provided with evidence that it was a small faction that was eliminated in the early 2000’s, he started to shift toward the idea that we should not follow the lore. Finally, when every single member of the writer’s team flatly refused to provide what would essentially be “a player’s guide to being a Nazi werewolf” the writing was on the wall about the end of our involvement with this product. More than once, he suggested that we were cowardly social justice warriors for being unwilling to work with this concept, even though there were several attempts to write a heroic version of the Fenrir that were focused on undoing these ills of the past.
Indigenous Erasure in Werewolf: 5th Edition
While the entire Hunters Entertainment writing team was handling the major, glaring issue of Paradox’s fervor to include a major Nazi element in Werewolf, I was personally dealing with the problematic approach to the Indigenous issues in the setting. The largest problem, for me, was in addressing Younger Brother’s issues, the history of non-Indigenous writers creating horrifically racist stereotypes, and what was valuable in the Tribal identity that should be saved and recentered. However, my attempts to do so were thwarted with every approach. I rewrote this Tribe four times, and offered three different versions of it to try to earn approval for a final write-up, but each time there was a lot of negativity directed towards my attempts and all them boiled down to this: Muammar felt that having two Tribes (both Younger and Older Brother) representing the “Indigenous population” was too many, and wanted them to only be focused on Older Brother, and that Younger Brother’s connection to a central, Indigenous identity, was undesirable because “other sources wrote them as having Siberian and European connections” and that future writing on this Tribe would require a lot of sensitivity…suggesting that one, Muammar wasn’t interested in doing the work to handle that level of sensitivity, and further, that he wasn’t interested in including me in future work, since I was involved with doing that at the time.
I want to take a moment to remind you that the work that was put into recovering Younger Brother started with “Let’s Kill Them Off” and at this point, through a combination of convincing and pleading, had been walked back to “They can live, but now they’re not connected to being Indigenous anymore” which is just representative genocide of a different variety. “Kill the Indian in him, and save the man.” It was also explicitly something I said I would not write about going into this project. Ultimately, my efforts did not get much further than this, with some specific exceptions I will cite below.
Karim Muammar’s Anti-Indigenous Positions
Muammar consistently and repeatedly communicated to the team in ways that were condescending and dismissive of our collective accomplishments and capabilities, but from my perspective, no one suffered as much significant derision as I did while discussing the changes I wanted to make to Younger and Older Brother in order to make their representation empowering and exciting.
In the pulled quote from the previous paragraph, I want to point out to you that Muammar, who had the title of Lead Editor on this project, refused to capitalize Native American. Further, he would often redline my work with edits to decapitalize my own uses of Native American, as well as the word Indigenous when referring to Indigenous peoples. While there are plenty of people who might want to argue about this, I will point out that both the AP style guide as well as the Chicago style guide (the one which I am most familiar with in my academic historical work) both call for Indigenous to be capitalized when referring to a people. Further, I challenge anyone to defend the consistent decapitalization of Native American. More importantly, the reason that these are standards in respected style guides, is because the English language has been used historically to oppress and erase ethnic identities, including Indigenous identities. By transforming adjectives into proper nouns, we are declaring that Indigenous and Native aren’t descriptors that can be applied to animals, plants, and soil, but real lived identities and culture groups.
When I was explaining to the Paradox team (which was mostly just Muammar) why it was important to change the names of these two Tribes from the appropriative (and offensive) ones used in the past, Muammar pushed back by defending the previously used Younger Brother name, even after reading my extensive research and explanation about how this would harm Indigenous communities and fans.
While doing so, he also decided that it was appropriate to refer to this entirely Native American tribe by the word “savages” a slur that has been specifically used to dehumanize Native Americans, and then mocked my rewrite that focused on presenting them as stewards of the land using Indigenous methodologies and praxes, instead of the “savage” racist stereotypes they were presented as in previous editions. Further, as in the above quote, even after it was communicated that the use of this term was problematic, he kept doubling-down to use it to refer to the Tribe.
Even though I worked hard to redefine Younger Brother through Indigenous theory, such as place-based theory, relational theory, and communal theory, Muammar either refused to recognize this work, dismissing it as simple, or else simply could not understand the importance of these changes. Either way, the choice is that he didn’t want them to change, or couldn’t comprehend why the change was important because of how entrenched in white supremacist thinking he is. Further, after the massive effort that I put forward to attempt to educate him and the rest of the Paradox team on these issues, the insistence on using offensive terms and belittling my work felt intentional. So let’s talk about the work I did that was above and beyond my job description: free cultural consulting work.
“Sensitivity” and Consultation
I have seen several misunderstandings of my role working on this project going around, so I want to make something very clear. I was hired to work on this project as an author, and nothing else. I was not ever hired to be a cultural consultant. I do not do cultural consulting work. While I feel that there are many creators and companies who hire cultural consultants with the best intentions in mind, their responses often fall short of what is needed, as no one is ever obligated to actually follow the advice of cultural consultants. Further, I think there are also many companies who choose to hire cultural consultants only to say “we did this minimal step, and that is enough” in order to ward off naysayers.
However, anyone who hires me gets some level of cultural consulting for free, because it comes out in my writing–in both what I won’t write and what I choose to center my writing around. In the case of Werewolf 5th Edition, however, it was far more involved than this. I came with a plethora of “I will not write X” because I knew the setting was so problematic. A short list of my demands besides not being willing to write Indigenous erasure, was that we needed to change the names of the Pure Tribes (and the term Pure Tribe itself), we needed to change the word Totem to Patron, and also the Patrons of the Pure Tribes. We needed to move away from the term Metis for obvious reasons, and we needed to move away from the term Skin Dancers. I also specifically noted that there was a lot of cultural theft happening from the beginning of Werewolf until now that I wanted to address. The only way these issues were going to be addressed was to convince Paradox they were actual issues on the level of PR concerns, because nothing else was likely going to be considered. So in order to achieve this, I put in weeks worth of research, writing, and meetings with top level administrators with Hunters Entertainment so that they could bring this information to Paradox. I never documented my hours, but I would guess that I did approximately 80-100 hours of what I could only describe as cultural consultation work for free that was outside the contract work I was hired for. Let’s be clear: I did this willingly because I was passionate about the positive changes I wanted to see in this product, because I believed that Werewolf’s historic ills could be turned toward non-toxic representation.
Besides my actual words, such as naming the Ghost Council, and arguably the name Gale Stalkers came from a combination of names I pitched to Paradox after Winter’s Teeth was denied, and several sentences and paragraphs that I have seen so far that appear so close to what I originally wrote that you could imagine they were just edited versions, my largest contribution toward the final version of Werewolf: 5th Edition was this work. The only reason the offensive, appropriated names were changed were because of hours of my work to convince them it needed to happen. The reason that the Gale Stalkers aren’t just dead and gone: again, I pushed against this. The reason that Skin Dancers, Totem, and Metis will not appear as canonical titles? I pushed against their unwillingness to alter these things (see Karim’s defense of Wen**** Tribe name above).
Further, and this is the biggest reason I decided to write this article before seeing the final version of the book, I want to mention that I was also included in discussions with Hunters Entertainment to potentially be part of the art direction team, especially to oversee depictions of Indigenous characters, regalia, and art, to ensure that it would be represented either respectfully or not at all. I decided I needed to speak as soon as possible after the artistic portrayal of Tāme Iti appeared in the Glass Walkers preview without his permission. There are many arguments surrounding this issue and I am not going to address everything, but ultimately, I can tell you that had I remained as part of the art direction team, and saw that, I would have questioned it immediately. Even if I didn’t recognize Tāme Iti immediately, I would have asked what the source was on the depiction of moko in that piece, because I am aware that this is a sacred form of art–and I had already discussed wanting to make sure things like Crinos in headdresses didn’t appear in the book (as had often happened in previous editions, particularly on a certain white-skinned character whose name rhymes with Steals-the-Past).
As time working on this project went on, and I went through rounds and rounds of trying to convince Muammar and Paradox that it was important to not steal Indigenous identities, art, and stories, and that a greater effort needed to be put in powerful and empowering Indigenous representation, and I constantly ran into refusals and criticisms that were clearly hateful toward Indigenous identities and peoples, not to mention the push to represent Nazism as a major part of the game setting, I grew increasingly frustrated and restless with feeling like I was trying to work on a challenging project while also defending my right to exist as the person I am at every turn. Eventually I turned to another Indigenous TTRPG and game creator to ask for advice, and after a long and difficult discussion, I came to the conclusion that I was going to talk to the Hunters administration team and tell them that if Muammar kept using slurs and other anti-Indigenous language and attitudes, I was going to need to step off of this project, because it was harmful to me on a personal level. In furtherance of this point, I have been avoiding doing any contract work at all where I can tell that I am wanted for my specific cultural perspective ever since, because this situation was so harrowing for me.
Unfortunately, before I could have this conversation, after one final draft of Younger Brother and Bone Gnawers (which had its own issues, but that is not the point of this discussion), before we received any other specific feedback, the Hunters Entertainment administrators announced to the writing team that Paradox had decided to take the book in-house, and would no longer need our services.
The main point I would like to leave you with, besides these few specific quotes (out of dozens and dozens) that Muammar made that were anti-Indigenous, is that there is often a big call to have more BIPOC voices in various entertainment industries, so that both our stories, perspectives, and unique views on how the universe and life works, can be included; so that an industry that is historically, harmfully Eurocentric, might turn toward new, healthier, and inclusive directions. And I agree with this call for change, but I implore you to consider the conditions that BIPOC creators often have to work under: doing cultural/identity work and consultation for free as part of being present, being subject to vicious refusals of our experiences and perspectives, and straight-up having slurs lodged against our work. I want to see these changes in the industries we love, including the gaming industry, but currently the people who are in charge, who have the most power, are severely hostile to our work and our perspectives. This is why, for example, works like Coyote & Crow were done with an almost entirely Indigenous group of creators, and led by Indigenous creators, because trying to work for and with this ugly, hateful, and xenophobic group of people is so often exhausting, both mentally and spiritually, and because no good changes end up being made.
I am glad the harmful, appropriative terms were removed from the setting. I am glad I was part of the fight to make that real. I am not so glad that I was treated with hostility and racism by Muammar for the effort and love I put into this work, and I am not so glad that I will certainly be reviled by one of the two communities I did this work for–the gaming community, and certainly the people in power in this industry–and I am also not so glad that I didn’t have the opportunity to properly acknowledge how much of Werewolf’s base themes and setting are twisted and tied-up in Indigenous appropriation without giving the proper acknowledgments.
More than anything, I hope that this story will help you, the fans, realize that there is a lot of darkness in these communities, and they won’t change unless you hold their feet to the fire.
Ánaagodzįįhł
J.F. Sambrano
#decolonization#ttrpg#werewolves#writing#world of darkness#werewolf: the apocalypse#werewolf the apocalypse#mage: the ascension#vampire: the masquerade#changeling: the dreaming
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Extended StandardMaterial Shader for the Sims 2
A Shader Edit/Default Replacement "StandardMaterial" is the shader commonly used by sims objects. It tells the game how to render them, and by default offers features such as making them glowy or transparent. However, most of its effects apply to the whole material at once. I figured out how to edit it! So here is my improved version. It now supports: - An "additive" texture map, lighting up specific areas of the material. - An envCube mask, controlling the intensity of this effect via a texture. - Two new envCube modes, and improvements to an undiscovered one. + "Blend" replaces the base texture by the envCube's. + "Multiply" multiplies them together (duh). + "DiffuseRadiance", which already existed in the shader, adds the envCube texture to the light received by the material rather than its already lit texture. All three of them support the envCube mask and the envCubeCoef parameter. The envCube modes are mutually exclusive, but all effects can otherwise be used with each other. The download itself contains the shader package, a pdf ReadMe listing features and material parameters, and examples showcased on my envCubeTesterObject (also included). The readme lists the specific shader files I've edited, in case anyone else made an incompatible mod. (I've not included the recolours from the first preview pic as they're kind of lame lol + I had to make a CEP extra for the robot.) I'm hyped to see what cool objects and recolours people will make with this! And I'm probably forgetting information.
-> Download Everything at SimFileShare --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you use LazyDuchess' Overly Bright CaS Fix, download this version instead. It combines the two mod, so you should delete LD's original package file. -> Download Everything at SimFileShare -> Download Just the Mod Package at SimFileShare If you use DreadPirate's ShaderFixes with LazyDuchess' Overly Bright CaS Fix, download either of these versions instead. Delete the shaderfix "main" package. These combine the three mods into one. -> Download Everything (both versions included) at SimFileShare -> Download Just the Mod Package (edited lot skirt) at SimFileShare -> Download Just the Mod Package (Maxis lot skirt) at SimFileShare The other versions of DreadPirate's mods (including any of the water, roof and hood shaders) don't modify anything mine does. They should be useable alongside each other no problem. (l'll do more merging with incompatible mods as they're reported to me.)
#sims 2#the sims 2#ts2#s2cc#download#sims 2 shader#default replacement#custom content#sims 2 custom content
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MTLK: White Lions
((Same rules as before: Put spoiler warnings on the very top of your comments before commenting spoilers. The film is still very new this time around and I , myself, have not seen it yet, I'll see it as soon as I can, though. Once I do, there will be more fanart based on knowledge I have of the movie after seeing it. This drawing is a byproduct of the things I already knew.))
As a (slightly late) celebration of the long-awaited release of the Mufasa movie today, I made 2D-verse designs of the main members of Kiros' pride we were introduced to via this clip.
Design process below:
I felt that Kiros needed an update to his design from the last time I drew him. I felt I was following the features of his photorealistic counterpart too much and came up with a way too detailed lion who didn't quite fit the 2D-verse. I still went for that ice-themed shape language for his design, such as sharp points and slight hexagon shapes. I referenced Mads Mikkelsen's features just as the creators of Kiros' design said they have done, themselves. I can tell they went for that same technique that Andreas Deja once used when applying Jeremy Iron's features and expressions to 2D Scar.
As you can probably see, Amara and Akua instantly reminded me of Zira and Vitani, respectively. As soon as I saw the preview featuring them, I instantly got the vibes of already-existing lionesses based on their designs and personalities. They also gave me, like, Tarantino villainess vibes a little. Something about these femme fatale assassins working for the greedy and conniving big bad guy made me think of something out of Kill Bill.
I'm still uncertain which one lioness is Amara and which is Akua, or whether these are even their names or not at all. I heard these are Kiros' sisters? I definitely see it in Akua, she looks like she could be his identical twin.
Alternative Kiros eyes:
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Tawsyul ([Taw= Sky] + [Syulang= flower])
Ikran subspecies! (Day and night view)
Let me show you a preview of my own subspecies: the Tawsyul! I will do a lot more detailed views on my website later! But for now, I am excited to show you this preview!
I hope you like them 💜 and pls don't be hard with me, it was my first time to design something animal 🫣 I tried my best!
The Tawsyul swarm is living close together with one of my 3 own Na'vi tribes! Their Colony is basically part of the village from the Zeynuma 😊
More informations:
Here is some information about their physics:
They have wider wings than normal Ikrans.
They are more maneuverable and can fly longer amounts of time
They are a bit slower than the movie Ikran
They have a colorful collar they only turn them up when they are mad or in attack mode xD
Their base colors are muddy and dull and their collar, tail and inner part of the kuru is bright and colorful!
The nerve cords are always protected with the end of the kuru, which wrap the nerve cords like a bud
They have something in the head kinda looking like ears.
More info about their characters:
They only bond with one Na'vi in their lifetime!
THEY choose the Na'vi and it's always a peaceful and trusting moment.
They are showing their end of the Kuru open to the Na'vi they want to bond with. The kuru only opens when the Tawsyul is ready to bond.
They are really peaceful around the Zeynuma clan. They are like lovingly goofballs with the Na'vi trust. Playfully and therefore hard to train xD
But! They are really territorial against strangers of any kind! You need to build a friendship with them if you want one of them to choose you for a lifetime bond!
The Zeynuma children grow up with the Tawsyul so when they are old enough the mostly already befriended one of them for a lifetime bond 😊
The end piece of the Kuru is also the reason why the Na'vi called them Sky flower!
Last fun fact:
The Zeynuma love to call them "Tawsyultsyìp" (little sky flower) coz they are loving them so much :D the Tawsyul are their family, part of the clan/ tribe and also their pets :D
#na'vi#avatar 2009#avatar the way of water#na'vi oc#avatar pandora#james cameron avatar#digital art#atwow fanart#atwow#avatar fanclan#avatar ikran#ikran#avatar subspecies#navi oc#avatar animal#signfromeywa
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eaudera's detailed tutorial for skin rendering
okay loves i've put together a tutorial in text form detailing my step by step process of shading darker skin + the brushes and techniques I use and why I use them. you will be following along as we shade a piece together, you can find the lineart to the piece here. *turn off your true tone and night shift displays for the most objective viewing.
i wrote a lot on the preview pictures, if you find spelling errors (which you def will) or are unable to read my handwriting, you'll find the typed out version of the writing in the alt text feature.
disclaimer: i'm not an art professor nor am i academically/classically trained in art. a lot of the verbiage and techniques i'm using to teach you all here are from my current self taught and observed understanding of art, light, and anatomy
support me: kofi / ig / twt / commissions
firstly, here are my two staple brushes. you can find the second brush here, i modified it by making it larger.
the lineart brush is very good for easy sketching and simultaneously cleaning up that sketch to produce the final lineart you'll be using in your piece. the diffusion from the erased parts/the diffusion created by lowering the pressure of your pen creates a light graphite effect which i enjoy! give it a shot.
you'll notice quickly that there are lighter strokes throughout this lineart, these are simply acting as rendering guides for me in order to remember certain placements. i erase/draw over these lines a lot.
i initially learned to shade skin on a completely grey background with very slight orange undertones, and for a while this was very helpful in providing the most objective view of the base colors you're using (objective as in free of being effected by colors of different values). as you might know, using a white background for dark skin will seemingly darken the value and dim the vibrancy of your base colors, and using a black background will do the opposite. if you're using a darker skin tone, you want your canvas shade to be of a value that is proportional to your skin tone to avoid the same problems created by colors with too light or dark of a value. now if you're using a screened device to draw, you have the extra burden of screen reflections/wavering color output on different screens, so you're never really sure if the exact color you're using will be consistent across the board. priming your canvas with neutral colors will help with that. whereas priming with more vibrant colors will slightly change the undertone of your skintone (especially if you're using a low opacity brush), but it makes for a funner canvas and more creativity with your color palette imo. if you're a beginner i recommend you stay below the wavy line to avoid too light of a canvas shade.
for these same reasons i avoid keeping my lineart jet black. when you lay down the base colors under a black lineart it can look very unfavorable.
here are some skin tone variants that i tend to use the most, peep how i never wander off too far to the left of the spectrum where the reds are. i definitely favor red-oranges as compared to green-oranges for my skin tones, however, because i stay primarily on the left side of the color spectrum for my rendering, red can quickly become too much too fast. so i make sure to use a skin tone that can work very well with green-orange shadows. for this specific piece i will use the third shade (#2d1606).
heres where the gouache brush comes in handy. i use it very loosely to "prime" the canvas almost. if you've ever done oil painting you'll realize very few artists draw directly onto a completely white canvas, though i've already primed my canvas essentially by changing the background color, i loosely shade over it with the skin tone color using the gouache brush. i find this gives me a better grasp on the composition of the piece due to increased harmony between the canvas and the skin color. it also looks really cool to me and resembles a real canvas almost.
as stated before, priming your canvas with neutral colors (grey) can help give you a more consistent view of your base colors, when you get the hang of understanding the colors you most often use (i.e, how they interact with other colors), you can start using more vibrant and fun colors to color your canvas with! the gouache brush changes opacity depending on the pressure exerted by the pen, if you zoom in you'll notice patchy areas where the canvas color bleeds through the layer more prominently than it does in other areas. for some people this might throw off the consistency of the shadows, but you should be fine as long as you're using a consistently opaque brush (which we will be doing)
i know i recommended beginners use a grey canvas like i did, but since this tutorial is using my techniques i figured i'd also teach you guys how to use variantly opaque brushes to your advantage. we will be drawing on the pink canvas from here on out.
a reference is so helpful, i still rely on references to guide my shadows/lights. i'm past the point of relying on references for exact coordinates for rendering or lineart, but they are still incredibly helpful. in most references of darker skintones you come across, color dropping directly from the picture will give you very grey colors! we want to prioritize vibrancy in this case, so attempt to formulate your own colors or colordrop and increase the vibrancy :)! keep in mind i'm now using the lineart brush to shade. the diffuse/soft corners of this brush allows fewer pixels to be scattered wherever you lessen the pressure, this is perfect for color dropping medium colors to blend two colors together. you'll see how i blend colors later on.
as mentioned previously, red can become too much too fast- so i avoid monochrome rendering as much as possible by using shadows of different undertones. my most frequent combination is using a red-orange skin tone and then using a green-orange shadow.
the value spectrum will be your best friend in mixing values and undertones, i use it all the time to formulate the best less saturated darker shadow that is proportional (not too dark, not too grey) to my skintone value. if the shadow is too green simply increase the magenta, if you're looking for a "reflective" shadow, increase the blue.
when i begin shading, i always slide the curser to a truer orange color on the spectrum and increase the saturation (slide towards the right) while i decrease the brightness (slide down). heres how it looks when i'm jumping between shadows and highlights while trying to keep my colors proportional (but not identical) to whats happening in the reference ^. i most often times will rely on the value tool, however.
you will notice that a lot of darker skin tones have patches of orange vibrancy, these areas are most common on the nose and cheeks. this is only a detail to pay attention to if you're going for more of a realism rendering style :)
now onto how i prefer to bridge/blend colors together by utilizing the blend tool.
i do not like simply blurring colors in order to blend colors together, it can lead to overblending which can make your portrait look heavily gaussian blurred (think 2010 deviantart art... yea that). the brilliant thing about procreate is you can utilize brushes really efficiently, which include changing the brushes you use for blending. so in reality, artists who use the blending tool on its own can still have portraits that don't look it! there also exists plenty of brushes that have properties allowing it to blend into its surrounding colors are you draw. but in my case, the above photo is 99% of the times how i will bridge two colors together. doing this allows me to keep pretty consistent brushstrokes across the whole portrait, which i enjoy. it also gives me better control of the shapes i use in my rendering, an aspect that is pretty easy to lose when you're using the blending tool directly and solely.
in case the blending process is a bit hard too see, heres that same process recreated with different more visible colors:
now once you've placed your shadows where they generally tend to be (according to the reference photo), let's make those shapes a bit more specific and pick up on smaller details to make your rendering look more complete.
your base colors will never be as dark or as light as you need them to be when you begin rendering, making sure you have a decent contrast between your lightsource highlights and the shadows is key to capturing the essence of a light being cast on your character. it's much easier to keep building upon your shadows before rendering the highlights, i laid down the highlights only to create a guide/help me map my shadows better. do not darken the entirety of the areas affected by shadow, you'll find that shadows are rarely ever the same value, it's a gradual process affected by things like position, height, etc. so make sure the darkest of your shadow colors are preserved only in areas where the shadows are the or should be the darkest.
you'll notice i labeled some areas as "detail", adding very specific shadow placements is a detail. in the reference, the model has a pretty prominent brow bone, creating a shadow over where his eyelid creases just above his lash line, paying attention to feature details like this help enhance the rendering and its realism.
now that i've mapped my shadows i'm going to move onto to rendering my highlights and the region of the face where the lightsource is most prominent.
i described shadows as a gradual process earlier, this is because of the lightsource. light tends to spread when its further from the affected surface, creating a larger area affected by the light. of course, this varies depending on how intense and how close/far the light source is. in this case, the light is being casted above him further to the other side of his face, but again, remember that the face is not 2d and more prominent areas are affected more by light. it's due to this that there still exists a, albeit very minimal, shadow beneath his cheekbone. i exaggerate the shadow here for stylistic purposes, but it also helps in keeping me uphold that contrast between the highlight and shadow once again. so i refrain from blending the light into this area like i did in other areas.
midtones are the areas most unaffected by the light source, they're neither shadows nor highlights. and because light spreads, it is brighter in certain areas and darker in others. it is most easiest to blend the darker ends of the highights into the midtones of your portrait. you can emulate this by once again using your blend tool. blend the outer areas of the light and colordrop this color and use it as the darker light more proportional to the midtones. note that before i add even lighter shades to the areas where light is most concentrated, i blend what highlight placements i currently have there.
we're going to switch gears now and focus on the reflective shadow occurring on the darker half of his face.
this shadow is a reflection from the lighter background the model is up against, the light being casted above him is allowing for some bounce back from his surroundings, leading to very faint light visible in areas primarily affected by shadows. hence why i'm referring to these colors as "reflective shadows".
in this case, the reflective shadows are blue, or appear to our eyes as blue. on darker skin, "true" blues (blue-purple) are not often times present. what is present rather, is a very grey tone with cool undertones/a grey tone on the blue side of the spectrum, which creates a blue that is much more proportional to the value of the skintone than a true blue. in this case i used a deeper grey on the pink color spectrum, which is more purple. this was intentional, and was done in order to create some sort of color harmony between the contrasted deep oranges im using for the bordering shadows and the blue-grey i'm attempting to emulate.
while i utilize this blue-grey, out've a purely stylistic choice, i still introduce true blues to my rendering. in fact i love using blue/purple reflective shadows in my art, it creates a stunning and colorful render. in this case, i used the blue-grey as a stepping stool to introduce that trueer blue more naturally. you'll see this happening in the second picture above, where i used a slightly more vibrant and slightly more brighter blue, and used it on areas where this reflection was more prominent (and therefore brighter).
you'll notice how the shadows that border on these reflective colors are less saturated and darker than the shadows on his chin. introduce a darker and less saturated (more green) shadow to that area on his cheek and the darkest shadow of this photo, the sunken area near his nose bridge and inner eye corner. i emphasize this line in the lineart so you can follow this shadow more accurately:
this is also a detail in my opinion and can make your portrait more realistic if you include.
we're going to pivot to his neck area before continuing. you'll find the area of his neck with the most light is also the least vibrant, i laid down a grey base color to emphasize this detail in the portrait. afterwards i added key details. i wanted to stay at least somewhat true to the color dynamics occurring in the reference hence why i used the grey, but i'm not a very big fan of using blatant grey directly on the skin, so i made it more blue.
moving forward, the outer eye and the nose can be some of the most "detail focused" areas of the face when it comes to rendering. due to their more "bulbous" anatomy, light tends to curve around them in more complex ways than the flatter parameters of the face.
when it comes to the many creases that surround the eye, the skin folding over itself creates a very thin shadow from between the folds. the key to rendering this crease is to concentrate the blending to a very small scale, do not overblend the area because the hill created by the crease very easily captures light, creating an area where the shadow and highlight meet in very close proximity. slight blending is needed for this area, you can deepen the shadows in both horizontal corners of the eye for more accuracy. the midsection of the total eye area (eyeball and socket) tends to capture the most light, remember this is due to how bulbous rounder shapes tend to capture light from whichever direction its coming from.
this is of course the case for the nose as well. highlights are typically placed as a dot on the outermost part of the nose by artists, but highlights also spread on either side of the tip of the nose. the nose tends to collect a lot of oil, creating a sort of sheen on the upper parts of the nostril. when rendering a portrait where the position of the head is more cast to the side, the highlight of the nose changes from the bulb of the nose, to the upper nostril. in this case, the highlight spreads, causing a "half tone", or the remnants of the light on the bulb of the nose. this is the easiest place to blend highlights and shadows together. now for the shadow detailing on the nose, i'm actually drawing on top of the lineart on a separate layer. which i'll go into detail about in the next part. you want to focus the shadow on where your lineart is, the outermost part of the nose.
now were going to really detail your portrait by introducing a new layer, the detail layer! this isn't technically apart of the skin rendering, so i'm gonna keep it very brief. this is the layer you're going to render the lips, eyeballs, and eyebrows. more specifically, the purpose of this layer is to reduce the reliance on lineart. in terms of order, it goes above the lineart layer. we're going to soften and even erase the lineart in certain aspects. i use bolder/thicker lines when creating my lineart, but this can become a nuisance/hinderance when rendering.
starting out with the lips:
people w brown skin tend to have two toned lips, with the top lip resembling the same skin tone as the face and the bottom lip being redder/pinker and lighter than the upper lip. in my case, i prefer a more vibrant red for the bottom lip. once i lay down these base colors, i begin shading on the second layer.
i personally enjoy the look of a poutier lip shape, this includes emphasizing the middles of the lips as opposed to the ends. i've highlighted the shapes that this lip shape often entails. the small circles on the corner of the lip line are just pockets that occur when the mouth is closed and become emphasized by the fat around the mouth. the parameters of the lip lines do not often meet these round corners, theres often times a "double lip line", that exists around these areas. i love including that in the art, its very easy to emphasize by simply drawing a highlight from the corner of the lips along the curvature of the bottom lip towards the middle.
shadow mapping on the lips tend to go: highlight, shadow, highlight, shadow. the top lip going inward creates a highlight on the most outward part: the top of the lip. and the bottom lip curving outward thus creates a shadow on the bottom of the lip.
when it comes to the eyeball, i don't draw the white parts as solid white, nor do i make them too bright most of the time. they're most often times an orange grey, i also dont spread this color out if you can notice the uncolored white part of the eye. i do this intentionally to keep some of the shadows that are naturally present on the eye. very specifically right where the upper eyelid sits on the eyeball, it tends to create a small shadow that follows the curvature of the eye. this shadow is crucial, if you can see the first and second picture do not have this shadow, making the iris look more exposed and the eye appears to be held wider.
when it comes to the iris, i do very little. if i'm drawing a dark colored eye i will cover the entire iris brown, before darkening it with an almost black color. i leave the brown sides of the iris exposed to aid in bridging the values between the whiter parts of the eye and the very dark iris. this blended ring also appears on all eyes in real life. lastly, dark eyes tend to show light reflections much easier than lighter eyes. these reflections can be any color in art, in this case i kept it blue-green. i bend these reflections around where the pupil would most likely be depending on the drawing.
next, the eyebrow. i find it tedious to draw individual eyebrow strands when it comes to rendering, i actually prefer to blend the parameters of the eyebrows to create cohesiveness. sparse and fine eyebrow hairs are penetrated by light and shadows more than what you'd find on the scalp. it's harder to see light on someones scalp due to the bulk of hair crowding the scalp, whereas as its easier to see such light on the eyebrow. to introduce this concept to my art, i will initially draw the entire shape of the brow. then when rendering, i erase the parameters, leaving the darkest part of the brow. then i blend. the lower brow bone will be blended the least, whereas the area of the eyebrow connected to the T zone will be the most blended thanks to the shadow following the nose bridge. the far end of the brow by the hairline tends to be the lightest given the light source.
and lastly, i loosely draw a white border around the portrait for stylistic purposes. then i combine the layers (group together your layers, then duplicate and compress the duplicate group so that you still retain your individual layers) to edit. i typically add noise and play with the curve setting. and heres the finished image:
i hope you enjoyed!!
#i didnt proofread this if u find spelling errors pls lmk#black artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration#painting#black art#commissions#tutorial#art tutorial#how to shade#rendering tutorial#brushes
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Tantrum II - Queen of Onychinus
Sylus x MC (SMUT, MDNI)
Warnings: brat taming, slight bdms(if you squint), edging, CNC, overstimulation, breeding, oral (female receiving), size kink, creampie, safe words, swearing
Word Count:3373, no proofreading
Preview: Based on Tantrum, their one-week baby makin'.
Note: I was originally planning to write like 4 or 5 days out of one week, but it has gotten so long and seemed to be dragging on, that I had to delete most of it and just wrote the first and last day. Also, I'm not the most experienced at writing smut, so please bear with me.
Sylus was in bed. Furious. His eyes glowered as he shut the door and plopped me onto the bed. As soon as his mist let go of me, I quickly got up to try to run out the bedroom, but Sylus immediately grabbed my waist and pushed me back onto the bed.
"H-Hello, Sylus, " I stammered.
"Hello, sweetie." Sylus smirked. "Hope you had fun."
I nervously chucked, "uh, how was the meeting?"
Sylus' smile faded. "Changing the subject won't save you, kitten. Hope you know that."
I smiled innocently, "Oh? What subject should we talk about?"
Sylus stared down at me, clearly frustrated. I smiled, feeling proud that I could make him feel that way. "You better wipe that smile off your face, sweetie."
"Or what?"
Sylus narrowed his eyes, "You love to push my buttons, don't you."
I nervously laughed and scooted closer to the edge of the bed. Sylus lay on his side, propped up by his elbow on the mattress, watching me inching toward the edge. Amusement danced in his eyes as if waiting to see what I would do next.
I used that opportunity to run. I hopped off the bed and ran for the door. I unlocked the door and tried opening it. Except it was closed tightly, as if there was someone standing on the other side of the door, forcing it closed. I looked at the rims of the door, noticing those red mists.
Bastard!
I whipped my head over to look at Sylus. He continued to lie on the bed. I can see his hardened length pressing against his robe.
"Are you done, sweetie?" His voice sounded deeper. His eyes looked at me hungrily.
I pressed my back on the door, "Look, I uh..." I racked my brain, trying to think of anything to say.
Sylus looked at me, waiting for me to continue.
"I uh, well you kind of deserved it."
Sylus eyes darkened. "I deserve this?"
I nodded and folded my arms, "Yes. You left me when I wanted to you stay. I'd say it's a reasonable punishment."
"Sweetie. Sending that image is punishment enough."
"Well, I was feeling petty-" I started and gasped when I felt my body being pushed onto the bed.
Sylus leaned down and grabbed my chin, lifting it up so I could only look at him. "Your cruelty knows no bounds, sweetie. Your punishment is truly unreasonable. I'd say it's more reasonable that I punish you for the unjust punishment you had on me."
I gulped.
"You sure know how to tease." He rolled on top of me, his hands on either of my head, his knees on either side of my hip, looking down at me. "Raven is the safe word. Use any other words, I won't stop."
I'm already regretting everything.
I didn't know when it started or when it ended. My clothes are discarded somewhere on the floor. Sylus used one hand locking my hands above my head while his other hand, his two fingers deep inside of me. Every time I was about to come, Sylus would release his fingers and I would be clenching at nothing.
I was crying, begging. "Sylus, please, let me come, please, please!"
Sylus smirked, "Aw, don't you love being teased."
This fucking bastard. I whined with frustration.
Sylus chuckled, "If I want you to come, I'll let you come."
It has already been nearly half an hour. Half an hour of edging. The bedsheet was wet from how much I was dripping. Two fingers plumping inside of me. "Sylus, please, please, please..." I felt so close to coming, I begged, but he still took his fingers out of my weeping hole, denying me. Tears streamed down my cheeks. My legs are shaking.
Sylus licked my arousal off his fingers. "Fuck, you taste so good." He let go of my hands and leaned back, gathered the wetness around my hole, and stroked his length with it, trying to lube it with my wetness. I stare at him with anticipation.
He smirked. Finally, and finally, he slid into me. Perhaps from the number of times I was denied, I instantly came when he slid in, convulsing around him, trying to suck him further into me. I moaned as he groaned.
"Fuck," Sylus gritted his teeth. He slowly thrust into me, but each trust was hard, slamming himself into me, with his tip kissing my cervix each time.
I went from gasping to whining to moaning, chanting his name like a religion. I couldn't tell if I had already come again because I already felt the overstimulation. I quickly scooted back, to have him slide out of me, and closed my legs with my hands covering between my legs.
"I never said you can close your legs. Spread them." Sylus commanded.
I shook my head, "S'too much!"
Sylus growled in frustration and used his evol to grab my hand and pin it above my head. "You can handle it." Then he grabbed my knees, practically pried my legs apart, and slammed into my abused hole, watching my facial expressions as he slid all of himself inside of me. Before Then he slid out until only the tip was inside before slamming back into me, knocking the breath out of me.
Each thrust is hard and fast. Going all the way out and going all the way in. I was a moaning mess. He leaned down and licked before giving wet kisses along my neck. Then he bit down on my shoulder and I winced and moaned from both the pain and pleasure.
"Tell me, sweetie. Was it fun?" He said in between sucking on my neck. "Was it fun making me wait?"
I couldn't respond. I was mumbling nonsense and moaning.
I can feel I'm getting close. Sylus knows I'm close to how I'm tightening my walls around him. "Don't come yet." He commands.
I shook my head, fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. "Can't" I slurred. "I-I can't" Then I came so fast that it caught me by surprise.
Sylus slowed down and growled, "Didn't I tell you not to come?"
He hooked his hands under my knees, bringing them closer to my chest. Then he thrust deeper this time. Each thrust knocked the air out of my lungs.
"You don't come until I tell you to, do you understand?"
I nodded frantically, the only sounds that were coming out of my mouth were moans and his name. I can already feel the heat, the buildup, between my legs. I closed my eyes, trying to think of something else. Anything that stops me from coming.
"Eyes on me." His deep voice commands.
I opened my eyes and looked into his red eyes. With this new angle, I knew I wouldn't be able to last long. I try to think of something else, but I already feel the buildup is ready to snap.
"Come for me." A single command made me come undone. I opened my mouth in a silent scream, my back arched, my head thrown back, as I felt my entire body shake from such a powerful orgasm. However, Sylus didn't slow down, continuing to ram into me.
"Wait, wait," I panted, trying to push him away shakily to give my body a break from the orgasm.
Sylus groaned, "I can feel you convulsing around me. Fuck, you're so hot." Just a few more thrusts and he painted my walls. I involuntary convulse around him, as if trying to push his seeds further inside of me, pushing it into my womb.
My legs shook violently. Sylus slid out and I felt his come sliding out of me. Sylus spread my legs wider, watching his come, mixed along with my juices, slide out of me, onto the bedsheet.
Sylus groaned. I looked down and saw his length hardens again. I pried his hand off my knees and closed my legs. I tried to scoot away from him.
"We are not done yet." Sylus grabbed my ankle and dragged me toward him. Sylus tried to pry my legs apart, but I forcefully kept them closed.
"You should apologize first!" I yelled.
Sylus smirked, "We'll see who apologizes first." Then he throws both of my legs over one side of his shoulder.
My eyes widen, knowing what he's trying to do. Before I could do anything, I felt his tip, and then he slid in again. I moaned loudly. I felt his entire length inside of me. With the legs closed, he felt nearly twice as big.
I tried to spread my legs but Sylus held them closed. "I gave you the opportunity to spread them, but you decided to be difficult, so let's do this instead."
He thrust in and out, fast. I felt him hitting all the sweet spots that I didn't even realize existed. Sylus smirked as he watched me struggle beneath him, trying to pry him off from the overstimulation.
"Stop, stop, please," My plead fell on deaf ears. Sylus kept the rhythm and I came again. Sylus allowed me a few seconds to catch my breath before flipping me over for another round.
I didn't know how many times we had done it. I tried to crawl away only for him to drag me back. I tried to escape from Sylus. Wherever he caught me is where we ended up fucking. We were doing it on the floor, the nightstand, on the sofa, the window, the walls, then on the door. Each escape was closer to the door, yet I was still confined in that room, impaled by my husband who seemed to not have enough.
One day turned into two. Then three. In a blink of an eye, it's already the sixth day. We went into a routine. We would wake up late, cuddle, and then full-blown sex for several hours into the night. The only times he would stop was either when I passed out or used the safe word. I swear my walls had been stretched and molded for him and him only.
I didn't know whether it was morning or evening, but as soon as I woke up, my husband devoured me hungrily. I giggled when he peppered kissed my neck. "Dear, I just woke up."
"I haven't had breakfast," Sylus answered before licking my breast. The nipple immediately stood up from the attention.
I moaned, "Let's go breakfast."
Sylus licked my nipple before closing his mouth around it. I felt his tongue twirl around my nipple before sucking it. He let go of my nipple with a pop. "I'm having you as breakfast."
"What about me?" I whined.
"I'll make you something after I'm done." He turned his attention to my other breast before I could protest.
Each of his kisses went lower and lower until he reached the heat between my legs. I gasped and moaned. He licked and kissed my cunt before stimulating my clit with his tongue. At first, it was a slow circle movement, as if trying to warm my clit before gently sucking it. Then he would go back to my cunt, licking, kissing, and sucking, like a hungry man who hasn't eaten for days. His eyes were closed as if to savor me. As I felt the pleasure building up, he paid more attention to my clit, trying to draw out my organism. I moaned loudly as I came into his mouth. Sylus groaned, slurping in the juices. He gave a few kisses between my legs before coming up. His lips were wet from my arousal. He leaned in and kissed me, tasting myself from his lips.
"God, you taste so divine." He said before diving in between my legs again.
I quickly pressed my hand against him. "I'm hungry."
Sylus licked my slit and kissed my clit, making me shiver, before taking my hands and kissed my knuckles. "Alright, I'll get something for us to eat."
I nodded, "I would like that."
Sylus smiled, "Don't move, let me take care of you."
Sylus gave me "breakfast", cleaned up the room, and drew a bath for us. All I did was lay in bed and have him carry me everywhere.
He carried me into the bathtub, setting me onto his lap. I leaned backward onto his chest and sighed in bliss. Sylus massaged my body. One of many things I enjoy about Sylus is the fact that he gives very good aftercare. After our intimate session, he would always make sure to pamper me afterward. Speaking of intimate, I think I only used the safe word twice. I feel proud. I might be starting to catch up to Sylus' stamina. Perhaps one day I might have him crying under me. The logical side of my brain tells me that is not going to happen.
One second he was giving me a massage the next, his hand and lips were roaming all over my body.
I giggled, "Sylus, really?"
Sylus nuzzled my neck, "Sweetie, I haven't heard a single apology from you."
I playfully slap his arm, "It is your fault! Yours! If you're so upset that I spent too much money-"
"Oh, honey, I don't mind that at all. Honestly, I wish you'd spent more. You left me hanging while you went out. Tell me, who did you spend your evening with that is more important than me?"
I blinked, confused at his words. Then I remembered the night I cockblocked him when I went to the movies with Tara. I huffed, "I'm not telling you."
Sylus narrowed his eyes, "That person sure is important. I wasn't even able to track you. You sure take measures to make sure I don't find you."
Sylus waited for my response and when I gave none, he pressed me closer to him and whispered into my ear, "Sounds like I haven't tamed my wife enough yet."
Immediately, I tried to leave the bathtub but Sylus pushed me back onto him. "Sweetie, where are you going?"
"Not here. Seriously. It hurts when we did it last time." I remember that time when we tried to do it in the bathtub. Worst idea ever. The water washed all the lube away and it was like we did it raw. Shower and bathtub sex can be left in the books and our imagination.
Sylus chuckled, "Who said I'm fucking you here."
I looked at him surprised, "You're not?"
"Do you want me to?"
I shook my head. He slowly picked me up, "Good." He stepped out of the bathtub and set me down. "I'm planning to fuck you against the wall."
Before I could react, he slammed his lips on mine and pushed me onto the wall. His tongue roamed inside of my mouth, tasting me, while his fingers roamed between my legs. He breaks off the kiss, smiling that I was panting.
He pressed a finger into me and I winced loudly. He scowled slightly, "Sorry, didn't realize you're not wet enough. I'll take care of that." He kneeled down, tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, and dived in between my legs.
I felt his tongue and lips dance in between my thighs. I moaned, grabbing a fistful of his hair. A few kisses, he inserted a finger in me. "There you go, now she's wet enough." He pumps his finger in and out a few more times before sliding his finger out.
He stood up, hooked his arms under my knees, and placed his palm over my bottom. I yelped when he lifted me up then moaned when slides his length into me. I gasped and winced from the sensation. "Sylus, it still hurts a little." I held onto his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.
He stopped halfway. He kissed me gently, on my lips, then go down onto my neck and shoulder before slowly rolled his hip into mine.
At first, he started slow, allowing my body to adjust to his size and wet enough for him to move faster. Then he went full-on slamming into me. I gripped his shoulder and back for dear life, fearing I might fall. I tossed my head back as I came, panting. "I didn't know you were that impatient." I glared at Sylus.
He chuckled, "Have you seen yourself? Any man would lose control if they see you like this." He used his lips on my cheek and gently guided my face to the side. Looking in the mirror. I couldn't believe what I looked like. My face was red, my mouth opened, and half-lidded eyes. I look like I already got fucked dumb from just one round. It made me wonder what I looked like after several rounds.
He whispered into my ear, "Look at yourself while I fuck you senseless. Perhaps then you'll understand why."
He snaps his hips into mine. I moaned loudly. The way I behaved, I felt embarrassed. Sylus groaned before spilling his seeds inside of me. He slowly slid out of me and then turned me toward the mirror. He shoved me toward the mirror and lifted one of my legs.
"Are you seeing this, love?" Sylus whispered into my ear. He guided my face down slightly, making me look at my cunt through the mirror. Both of our come are dripping out of my abused hole. "Are you seeing what you're doing to me?" Then he pressed his tip into me before sliding all of him into me again.
I gasped. I knew he was big but I never realized how big he really is until I saw us fucking in front of the mirror. Honestly, I don't even know how he could fit all of him inside of me. The way his length slid out and in me and the slight bulging was turning me on.
Sylus chuckled, "Does watching yourself turn you on? I can feel you tightening me around me."
I can only moan in response, slightly embarrassed.
"Don't hold yourself back, sweetie. Watch how much your hole begs for me."
The way my vaginal opening wrapped around his length, the way he keeps sliding out then disappearing inside me, hitting all the spots. He guided my face so that I would be looking at my face. "Look at yourself while you come on my dick."
It didn't take me to come onto him. I saw myself throwing my head back slightly, eyes half-lidded, and drool rolling down on the side of my mouth. Sylus groaned loudly as he finished inside of me.
"I wish I had my phone with me so I can take a picture of you like this." He groaned.
My legs were trembling. Sylus let go of my leg. Considering how tall he was, I was tiptoeing as his length was still in me.
"Pull out," I whined, feeling the strain on my feet.
Sylus held securely around my waist so that I wouldn't fall if my legs ever gave out and slowly slid out of me. His come dripped and rolled out of me.
I was surprised by how much he came. "You're going to get me pregnant."
Sylus groaned in response, "I wouldn't mind that."
I playfully slapped his arm, "I'm pretty sure I'm the one carrying it. I should be the one saying 'I wouldn't mind that'."
"I think I just heard you wouldn't mind getting pregnant." Sylus turned me around and pressed me against the mirror.
"You are one cunning crow. How about you get pregnant!"
I slowly blinked awake and groaned. My entire body ached from all the activity we had done for the several days. The entire bedroom, every piece of furniture, Sylus and I all done on it. The wall, the coffee table, the bathroom, the nightstand, the window. Everywhere. I swear we did all the positions in the book. We might've even made new positions. My back hurts. I can't feel my legs. Sylus is a monster.
I think I might be pregnant.
If I knew he could do it for an entire fucking week. I groaned. If I knew Sylus had that much stamina that could last for an entire week, I wouldn't have done this to him!
Ok, internet, do your thing. My edging part sounded very familiar like I had read it somewhere before. Does anyone know where it's from??
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Trying Again
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Preview: based off of this request
Warnings: pregnancy fic (r pregnant), failed IVF (eventually successful), some angst, mentions of vomiting (morning sickness), minor player injury, cursing, lightly suggestive at the end,
WC: 5.8k
A/N: this ended up longer than I expected but oh well 🤷♀️ I promise it’s fuffy in parts despite all the warnings
You feel your chest tighten and your breath catch in your throat as you stare down at the test with the two letter word staring back at you.
Blinking hard you try to clear your vision from the tears building, hoping when your vision clears up the two letter word will be a three letter one. Unfortunately it’s not.
“I’m so sorry.” You voice cracks as you shake your head, not daring to look at your wife. Scared she’ll be mad, scared she’ll be angry, scared she’ll hate you. Of course those are all the irrational thoughts filling your mind, your wife would never be able to hate you.
“Shhhh. It’s okay babe.” You look up to Jessie she’s moving toward you to embrace you in a hug.
“I must be doing something wrong. I’ll do better, I’ll eat better, I also probably didn’t get enough sleep this round, training has been a been harder recently, maybe I should take time off”
“Hey,” Jessie’s hands come to grab your face, forcing you to look at her as she bends down next to you. “This”, she points at the negative pregnancy test, “is not your fault. You heard the doctor, you’re doing everything right, training is fine, it keeps you healthy and that’s what’s most important to have this baby.”
“Well it must be, the doctor also said a lot of people get pregnant on their first round, this is our third round Jessie!” You were yelling, not necessarily at Jessie but unfortunately she was the one person in the bathroom with you, causing her to be getting yelled at. You were angry, upset, disappointed. You felt like this was your fault.
“Babe.” She tried to comfort you as you go to stand up and leave the bathroom.
“Jess stop!” You push her hands off of you. Throwing the test aggressively into the trash bin and storming past Jessie out and into your bedroom, the door closing hard behind you.
That’s when the tears come streaming out. They’re warm as they leave two trails down your face. Not wanting to alert Jessie that you were bawling in your bedroom, you clasp your hand over your mouth muffling your cries. You and Jessie had been trying for months, wanting to have a baby of your own.
The first time it was disappointing reading the negative test, but you were both still eager to try again. You waited a couple of weeks before starting your second round of IVF. Another round of shots, appointment, and being poked and prodded, but all was worth it when you would see the excitement on Jessie’s face when she talked about your future baby. The second failed test was discouraging, you had cried a little bit, unknown to Jessie. You had waited until you were alone in the shower before letting the tears flow. You felt terrible, you really thought the second time would work, but it didn't and it chipped away at your positive demeanor.
Jessie was your rock through the second failure, she spent time reading and researching, despite the doctors already giving you all the knowledge you needed. The two of you waited a few weeks before starting up the third round of hormones and appointments. Jessie cooked meals that were supposed to help your body, she made sure you drank enough water, you were never too cold or too warm, she was making sure everything was perfect.
Except it wasn’t perfect, the two of you had just failed again for a third time to start your family. It was less Jessie’s failure you thought to yourself, it was yours, you failed the both of you.
A soft knock comes at your door, you don’t say anything, knowing you well, Jessie enters despite the silence from you. She doesn’t say anything, she sits down next to you, letting out a sigh before grabbing your hand, squeezing it tightly with her own. Her other hand comes up to gently push your head onto her shoulder. That’s how the two of you stayed, sitting in silence, your head resting on her shoulder, tears streaming down your face, only now you didn’t hold in the sobs. A small sniffle from Jessie indicating to you she was crying too.
You cry until you’re eyes hurt and your throat is burning. You and Jessie had slowly readjusted so that she was sitting with her head and back on the headboard, your head across her lap as she softly played with your hair. Neither of you spoke. Both understanding this wasn’t the time to have discussions about trying again, or taking a break from trying. The rhythmic strokes of Jessie’s fingers mixed with the exhaustion from crying overwhelm you and you fall asleep.
“Babe.” You wake to your wife’s quiet voice and her hand gently rubbing your back. “Babe, do you want to go to training? We don’t have to, we can talk with the training staff or come up with an excuse. But if we’re going we have to leave soon.”
You didn’t want to go to training, running around pretending normal was the last thing you needed after the morning you two had. But you also knew pretending to be normal was maybe what would help.
“Yeah let’s go.” You stand up quickly from the bed and move to the closet grabbing out your own and Jessie’s training bags. Jessie just watches, you can tell she’s worried about you, the way she’s watching you so closely, not saying anything, just observing.
Jessie watches you closely all through training. The other girls can tell you’re off as well, but you just shake them off, telling them you didn’t sleep well the night before and had woken up in a bad mood. Jessie confirms your story with everyone who asked her if you were alright. She was better at hiding her emotions, appearing the same as she did any other day, but you could tell she was in her head as well, missing some easier passes and you caught her staring off a few times.
When you get home you’re both already ready to go to bed, feeling emotionally and physically drained from the day.
“Hey babe?” Jessie’s sweet voice follows you down the hallway toward the bedroom.
“Yeah?”
“Can we talk?” It’s a sentence that would send fear through everyone in a relationship and even though you know exactly what she’s about to come talk about, the question of asking itself gets your stomach churning.
You knew she’d want to talk to make sure you were okay. She’d end up lying awake at night if she didn’t know you were doing alright. You didn’t want to be the reason she couldn’t sleep.
“Yeah.”
“I know it’s disappointing, the negative test, but it’s not the end of the world. We still have options, we can try again.”
“I’m so sick of trying and failing Jessie.” You sit down on the edge of the bed, flopping back to lay down putting your hands over your face.
“You’re not failing.” Jessie’s hand comes to sit on your thigh comfortingly.
“I am Jess, I’m not pregnant.”
“What do you want to do?” Her hand starts moving, gently rubbing your skin.
“I want a baby with you Jess!” You sit up turning to face your wife.
She’s got the look of pity in her eyes, her look is apologetic, as if you’re an injured baby animal, you know she doesn’t mean it in a pity way, but her gaze makes you feel weak. “I know you do, I want one with you too.”
You don’t say anything to Jessie, just looking at her, blinking hard to stop the tears that are threatening to leak out.
“Would you be open to trying again, if not that’s okay.” Jessie asks softly.
“I want to try until we have a baby.” Your tears were starting to fall from your eyes. Your hands were still covering your face trying to hide your tears from Jessie but your voice cracking gave you away.
“Oh honey.” Jessie’s hand leaves your thigh to pull your hands from your face. “My love, it’s okay, I know it’s hard, and I can’t imagine to feel what you’re feeling, but we’ll be okay. We can keep trying.”
You nod, your hands still hovering in front of your face, fighting against Jessie’s grip as she tries to pull them away from where you were hiding behind them.
“Let’s try again after the international break. You’ll get a rest and that’ll give your body enough time between cycles.”
“Okay, we’ll try again, but Jessie if the next one doesn’t work I don’t know if I’ll-”
“Shhh” Jessie doesn’t let you finish your sentence “the next time will work.” She plants a kiss on the top of your head before extending her hand to guide you to the bathroom where she changed you, helped wash your face, brush your teeth, get all ready for bed before she got herself ready and tucked you both into bed.
A week later you were enjoying a few extra hours of sleep, recently feeling more exhausted than normal, not having to get up for training when your sleep is interrupted by the bodily urge to throw up. You throw off the covers and sprint, just barely making it to the toilet. Normally you’d hear Jessie following behind you closely, rushing to get you a washcloth, hold your hair back, or rub your back. Unfortunately she had an early appointment with the trainer before some phone calls she had to make for the upcoming international break. She’d be gone most of the morning until early afternoon.
“Ugh.” You groan to yourself, wiping your face and grabbing your toothbrush and mouthwash. You go back to bed after cleaning yourself up, it was the day after a game and you didn’t have training or anywhere to be. You wished Jessie was back to hold you and rub your back as you drifted back to sleep.
When you woke up you still felt exhausted and nauseated. You shoot Jessie a text letting her know you weren’t feeling well.
Another urge to throw up comes and you take off for the bathroom. This time there’s nothing to void from your stomach and you end up just spitting into the toilet. Still feeling nauseous you decide to just sit in the bathroom for a while.
As you sit on the cool bathroom floor, you noticed the wrapper of a pregnancy test poking out the bottom of the cabinet. That’s when the wheels started turning in your brain. The fatigue, the nausea, you hadn’t gotten your period yet but you weren’t phased by that due to the hormone changes from the IVF injections.
Fuck it, you thought, I’ll take it, it’s not like my day can get worse.
You sit up, grab the test and take it. You set your phone timer and wait. When your phone rings you grab the test, barely looking at expecting the same “NO” you had gotten over and over. You go to throw the test in the trash before you realize what you read wasn’t a two lettered word. You slowly lift the test back up to your face, the word YES staring back at you.
“Holy shit.” You throw the test into the trash in panic. You were pregnant.
You grab the test back out the trash realizing you needed that, you had to show Jessie. You then proceed to take every remaining test you could find in the house, 12 total pregnancy tests, all reading positive.
You run into the closet, rummaging looking for the small package you bought and hid when you first were trying to get pregnant. A small Canada jersey, England jersey, and Chelsea jersey, your last names across the back of all of them. You went a little overboard you’ll admit, but you couldn’t help it.
Finally you were getting to use them. You grabbed them and hurried to the office where gift wrapping supplies sat most of the time unused unless for a birthday or the holidays. You grabbed a plain box, not wanting to give away any of the surprise to your wife before she opened it.
You put in blue and pink tissue, placing the jerseys and all 12 pregnancy tests inside the box. You placed it on the kitchen counter and sat down at the stool, and waited.
Jessie wasn’t home for another 2 hours but you remained, you didn’t know what else to do with yourself so you sat, staring at the front door.
When the door swung open Jessie stopped before closing the door.
“What are you doing?” She cocks an eyebrow at you.
“I made you a little something.” You slide the box slowly in her direction. She closes the door behind her, putting down the backpack she had and taking off her coat before moving toward you. She places a kiss on your lips and then pulls the box over.
“You didn’t have to get me something baby.” She smells sweet and like a coffee shop, likely where she was completing her work for the day.
“Well I did.”
She opens the box and you feel yourself start holding your breath, waiting for her reaction. She’s silent as her hand, that you notice has a soft shake to it, reaches out grabbing one of the tests, removing it from the box. Her mouth is open as she turns to look at you.
“Are you serious?” She’s got tears in her eyes.
“Yes.” You nod, your voice getting caught in your throat as you choke back tears.
She grabs you hard, pulling you off the stool and into a tight hug. You can hear her own heart pounding out of her chest. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
“How?” She points at the tests. “How did you, when did you?”
“I threw up this morning like I told you, and then with the fatigue I’ve been having the past week, I was sitting on the floor and saw the test in the cabinet, things kinda clicked, I also haven’t had my period but I thought I was just off coming down from the hormones, figured I’d try a test, and then when it came out positive I took every single one we own.” You gesture to the pile of tests.
“We're going to have a baby.” Jessie finally lets out a tear.
“We are.”
“Okay so we need to set up appointments, we need to start figuring out how along you are, get prenatals started, I should get us some parenting books, we should look into cribs,” Jessie starts rambling about the baby, her excitement taking over.
“Jess, slow down.” You put your hand on your wife’s arm. “We’ll set up an appointment, and go from there.”
The two of you spent the rest of the evening cuddling, Jessie couldn’t keep her hands off of your stomach, where your baby bump will eventually grow. She had her hands under your shirt all evening as the two of you laid on the couch.
The next few weeks were the same, you had gone to the doctor, gotten the pregnancy confirmed with a blood test and started on vitamins, and all that comes with being pregnant. Jessie had bought all the parenting books, reading them obsessively every day. She got up with you when you were sick in the mornings, holding your hair and bringing you water. She’d cuddle you back into bed afterward, letting you rest until the very last minute before you had to be up.
“What am I going to do without you?” You groaned as Jessie placed a cool washcloth to your forehead and one to the back of your neck.
“I know babe but you’ll be alright. It’s only 7 days.” The international window had arrived and you and Jessie, while both going to the same location for friendlies, you would have to travel, sleep, and exist in separate worlds for a while.
“Plus Niamh is your roommate, she’ll be good with you.”
“Or she’ll avoid me thinking I’m sick when I puke every morning.” Your hand wildly gestures to the toilet you sat in front of. The two of you had yet to tell any besides trainers about the baby.
“We could tell her? We could tell everyone? I mean the Chelsea training staff know and so does England.”
“But is it too early to tell friends?” You knew Jessie was worried, you had been told that with the amount of tries it took, there was a chance the pregnancy wouldn’t last. That had scared both of you for the first few weeks until at your most recent appointment the doctor informed you that you had made it through the riskiest time period for the baby.
“I mean I’m 10 weeks, the doctors said it was pretty safe after 8 weeks if we wanted to tell people. I’m not opposed, plus at some point I’m going to start showing.” You place your hand on your waist where your bump had just barely started, something you could excuse as minor bloating.
“Okay.”
“Should we tell the Chelsea girls today?” You look up at Jessie.
“Yeah we can. If you want to babe.” She places a kiss on your forehead and removed both of the washcloths, gently wiping your skin as she does.
“Okay.”
You and Jessie both caught Emma before the start of training asking to speak to her. You told her the news, she congratulated you both and told her to let you know if either of you needed anything. She also said she’d gather the girls for you at the end of practice so that you both can talk to everyone.
“Alright girls, good work today! I need everyone in the conference room after you get your shoes changed, it’ll be a quick meeting I promise.” Emma flashes a smile at you, unknowing to everyone else that the look was intentional.
You walked into the conference room with the rest of the team. Emma stood at the front.
“Okay I promised this wouldn’t be long, so you two want to come up here?” She looks over at where you and Jessie were sat.
You look at Jessie and stand up. You’re not sure why but your nerves are starting to kick in, you knew they’d be happy for you, they were your friends, but it was still nerve wracking.
“Um, hi,” you give a small wave to the crowd of your teammates. A lot of them are staring back at you with confused faces, some looking worried.
“So, Jessie and I um, well” sensing your nerves, Jessie grabs your hand giving you a squeeze and a smile. “We’re um, we’re having a baby, I’m pregnant.”
The room erupts in front of you, shouts of excitement from your teammates, some of them clapping, they all start making their way to you and Jessie, giving you both their congratulations and hugs. The girls asked how long you’ve known, what the due date was, when you’d take off time from work, even Sam clapped Jessie on the back making a joke about her strong swimmers. It was a little overwhelming but you realized just how loved your baby was going to be.
“Niamh, come here.” You wave over your international teammate. “So obviously we’re gonna be roommates, I can send you over information, but just as a heads up, I do get sick in the mornings sometimes, if that’s a problem I can get our rooms switched.”
“That’s fine, doesn’t bother me, I’m so excited for you two!” Her arms reach around yours and Jessie’s neck pulling you in for a hug.
“Thanks Niamh.” You wander off to tell your other England teammates to keep their mouths shut until you have the chance to address that team as well. As you walk away you can already hear Jessie scolding Niamh.
“You better take good care of her Niamh I swear, don’t let her do anything silly, help her if she needs something. If I find out you weren’t good to her I’ll personally harm you.” Jessie wasn’t a very threatening person normally, she was relaxed, calm, laidback but as soon as she knew you were pregnant she took on an incredibly defensive approach, considering everything to be a risk to the mother of her unborn baby and the baby itself.
“I’ll take care of her Jess, don’t you worry.”
Despite Niamh’s promise, Jessie was still paranoid being away from you. She had never left you for more than a couple hours since learning you were pregnant. You were a mess when she had to leave, her flight a couple hours before yours. Tears streaming down your face as you walked her to the door, holding onto her, nearly forcing her to stay.
“Baby, I have to go, I can’t miss my flight.” She held you tight as you clung onto her.
“I know, I’m just going to miss you.” It was a weird feeling, you knew you were being overdramatic, but you couldn’t help it. You hardly ever cried when Jessie left, you knew she’d come back, you’d see her soon, and you’d never cried when you were flying to the same location.
“I love you, I will FaceTime you and Niamh tonight. You need to stop crying honey, you’re going to get dehydrated.”
“I love you.” You sobbed, getting the words out between deep breaths sending yourself into a coughing fit. You eventually let Jessie go and she left, leaving you to finish packing for your own flight. You throw in the tiny England jersey, Jessie had taken the Canada one, both of you wanting to tell your national teams at some point.
Over the next few days at camp Jessie was insistent on texting you every hour or two to check on you, she also was busy texting Niamh, LJ, Hannah, Jess, and Fran, making sure they all were checking on you. You felt bad for them having to respond to your wife’s texts but you knew they were happy to keep Jessie in the loop with how you were doing.
Everything was going well, until your second training session of the day. You started running laps, suddenly feeling nauseous, dizzy, a cramping in your stomach.
“Niamh.” You reach your hand out to the girl next to you, slowing down.
“You alright?”
“I don’t know, I feel sick.”
“Okay, here let’s go over to the bench.” Niamh wraps her arm around your waist, walking with you over to the bench with the trainers. The trainers, knowing your situation start assessing you. They decide to bring you inside. A few minutes later there’s a knock at the training room door. Leah enters.
“Hey what’s going on? You alright?”
“Yeah, no I’m good.” You try and brush her off.
“Dehydrated?” You shake your head at her. “Then what’s going on?”
“Its just a thing.” You look at the trainer, hoping he’ll maybe help your lie, he doesn’t.
“What thing?” She then quickly adds “if you don’t want to tell me you actually don’t have to, just as your captain, I like knowing what’s going on with my girls.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
“Yeah.” Your eyes start to well with tears. “Jessie and I are having a baby.” You can’t help but smile as the words come out of your mouth.
“Oh my gosh, congratulations!” Leah pulls you into a tight hug. “Does anyone else know?”
“We told the Chelsea girls just last week and the training staff has known since we knew, but no one else.”
“That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you.”
“I want to tell the rest of the team but I’m thinking maybe at the end of the week after the game against Canada, that way Jess can be there.”
“Up to you two obviously. But you’re good to play?” She looks between you and the trainer still by your side. He nods.
“Yeah, at least for now, once I start having a bigger bump probably not. I just need to take it a bit easy, but it’s just standard symptoms, nothing concerning.”
Leah congratulates you again and exits the training room. Before returning to the pitch you find your phone with a slew of unread texts from Jessie.
Jessie 🥰: hi, I know you’re training, hope you’re doing well
Jessie 🥰: drink enough water and electrolytes please
Jessie 🥰: make sure you eat something too
Jessie 🥰: I have to go to training soon, keep taking care of yourself and our baby
You: Hi, I did get sick at training today, just so you know, I’m okay though, I got checked out by the staff. Leah now knows as well, she came to check on me and I told her.
You return to training with clearance from the doctor. You take it easy, the rest of the team coming to check on you. You and Leah had discussed just saying you ate too close to the start of training and that’s why you got sick. That deterred most of the questions for the day but as the week went on and you got sick a few more times which then brought up the questions again.
The end of the week comes quicker than you expect and suddenly you’re lined up in the tunnel, staring across the hallway to the back of your wife’s head. You were supposed to be playing all 90’ assuming you felt good enough to do so, you had a long chat with Leah and Sarina about your playing time, they both left it up to you on your minutes.
The game was physical from the start, thankfully you spent most of the first half being guarded by Jessie, she kept her distance except when you had the ball, then she’d get physical but you could still tell she was holding back. By the end of the half you were ahead 2-1.
You agreed to start the second half, still feeling good, a little fatigued but no more than you normally would for running around for 45 minutes.
It was going well until a corner kick for Canada came. You went up to jump as Jessie kicked the ball in for her team. When you did you got body slammed by two Canadian players, someone’s elbow hitting your lower stomach, unintentionally of course, but still causing you to hit the ground hard, clutching your waist.
“Fuck.” You groan into the grass under you.
You hear the whistle a second later, Niamh and Lucy both are by your side, flagging over the training staff.
“Hey they’re going to come help you.” You hear Niamh who is squatted down by your head.
“No I’m good, just knocked the wind out of me.” You try and wave off the staff and your own teammates.
“Okay, we’ll just get you some water, just stay sitting for a second. We’re not in a rush, take your time.” Lucy directs you.
“No, you should probably get checked out.” You hear Niamh say to you and Lucy. She gives you a look, widening her eyes slightly hinting at the secret she knew.
The trainers join the three of you. Asking you what’s going on, how you feel, what you need.
“Take her off!” You hear your wife coming up behind you.
Janine is quick behind her, grabbing her arm. “Jess let them take care of it, you’re not a doctor.” Jessie manages to wiggle out of Janine’s grip, storming toward you, still yelling at the England staff.
“I’m telling you, take her off.” She then turns to you, “you need to get looked at, and you know it.” You can tell she’s trying not to expose the secret you both held.
“Fleming, it’s not that big of a deal, she’s fine, go back to your side.” Lucy steps between you and where Jessie stood above you. You already know that Lucy’s actions are about to piss your wife off.
“Lucy, kindly fuck off, she’s my wife, I know her better than you, she need to come off.”
Lucy turns to you eyes wide, “What’s up with her?” You just wave her off.
“Take her out!” Jessie shouts again. You’d never seen her like this. Red in the face angry, hands clenched hard at her sides, shouting not only at the staff, your teammates, and you.
“Jess,” you try to calm her down. But she just turns her shouting to be directed at you.
“No, this isn’t something we’re discussing, you got hit, you need to be taken out.” She’s stern in her words, giving you a glare.
“Okay.” You nod at her, seeing her like this was making you realize that despite already feeling better, your stomach did hurt and you should probably get checked. You look at the staff. “I’ll go off.”
Jessie doesn’t say anything else to you or anyone and just walks away, returning to her team.
“Let’s get you checked out,” the trainer helps you up. You walk off the pitch, getting replaced. You walk all the way down the tunnel and into the training room.
The trainer and doctor on the staff help check you out, even using the ultrasound finding your baby’s heartbeat. They give you the all clear but advise you to schedule an appointment for when you get back home to be safe.
You walk back out to the bench just as the game is ending. The scoreline had not changed while you were away, England had come out victorious. You look around the pitch as your teammates celebrate the victory with each other.
“All good?” Sarina finds you as you wander toward Niamh, not being able to locate Jessie.
“Yeah, heartbeat was good, no concerns. I’m going to tell the girls I think, I want them to know.”
“That’s great! Good to hear.” She pats you on the back before turning to chat with Canada’s coach.
When you approach Niamh she points across the field where your wife stood being interviewed. “She’s over there, you better go see her, she was a mess after you went off. You’re good?”
“Yep all good, both of us” you wink and gently pat your stomach, subtle to those who didn’t know but to Niamh it told her everything she needed to know. You and the baby were good.
You make your way over toward Jessie as you hear her thank the interviewer, taking off the headset and handing it back to her. She catches your eye and starts running toward you.
“Are you okay?” She’s still frantic.
“I’m good, the baby is good, there’s no bruising or bleeding, they used the ultrasound to check and even got the heartbeat.”
“Good.” She pulls you into a tight embrace “I’m sorry I yelled. I just saw you on the ground and I panicked.”
“I know babe, it’s okay.”
“I was rude.”
“You were being protective, it’s okay. Lucy will be fine, especially once she knows.”
“Still want to tell them tonight?” She pulls back from the long hug to look at you.
“Yeah I think that’s good.”
Back in the changing room you texted Jessie to make her way over. As soon as you hit send you stand up, gathering your teammates attention.
“Hey everyone real quick. I have something I want to talk about.” There’s a knock on the door “it’s open!” You shout and Jessie’s head pokes around the corner. She walks over to where you stood, giving quick hellos to everyone. “Jessie is here because this is her announcement too.” You take a deep breath. “So the reason, this one,” you point a finger at Jessie “was so adamant about me coming off after I was hit was because, I’m pregnant.”
Similarly to the Chelsea room, there are cheers of excitement, some whistles, and a long line of hugs to be given. Lucy gives you a hug first and then moves over to Jessie.
“Lucy I’m so sorry I really didn’t mean to be so rude out there I just” you hear Jessie babbling to your teammate, trying to apologize while you chatted with Leah and Alessia.
Lucy is quick to accept your wife’s apology. “We’re all good, you were protecting her. Protecting both of them. You’re going to be a good Mom, Fleming.”
Jessie blushes and smiles, “Thank you.”
Once you get a chance to talk to your teammates and they all get to ask how far along you are, if you knew if it was a girl or boy, when you were due, all the same questions you went through already with the Chelsea girls, you both head over into the Canadian locker room.
“Hi!” Jessie waves at everyone, “really quick I wanted to talk and sort of explain my uncharacteristic behavior this week and especially today.”
You’re not sure where she’s going with this so you let her continue.
“A lot of you noticed I had my nose in my phone a lot this camp and I may have seemed a little bit more spacey than usual. I appreciate you all for worrying about me and checking in to make sure I was okay. I am okay. Um, and then today I freaked out on the pitch at another team's player and staff, and that was unacceptable on my behalf. I apologize that I did that. The reason I’ve been on my phone and was so distraught when she went down.” She points at you. “This is my wife, by the way for those of you who have maybe never met her.” She adds and her comment gets a couple laughs.
“Anyway, the reason I’ve been weird this week is, she’s pregnant, we’re going to have a baby.” Jessie pulls the small Canada jersey out from behind her back holding it up for the team to see.
In identical fashion the room becomes a quick celebration, hugs and questions from all Jessie’s teammates.
Janine makes her way up. “I can’t believe you two kept a secret for that long, you both separately blabbed to me about the engagement rings you bought for each other within the hour of buying them. I’m so happy for you guys.” She hugs you both.
“Thanks Janine.” You both thank her.
“She’s going to be a crazy protective mother isn’t she?” Janine nudges you, you both watch as Jessie goes to talk with her other teammates, them all gushing over the tiny baby jersey.
“It seems like it, she’s never acted like that before.” You answer, before adding “it was actually really hot.”
“Gross, I’m walking away now.” Janine leaves you standing alone as she goes and finds Jessie again, whispering something in her ear that has Jessie turning around to look at you, her face with a slight blush on it, she gives you a wink and you realize what Janine had just told your wife. You walk over, giving her a kiss before you have to return to your own locker room.
When you get home the next day you both are exhausted from the trip and you fall asleep almost immediately. The next morning, you wake up not feeling nauseous for the first time in weeks, leading you to celebrate appropriately with your wife. Meaning you got to show her just how hot you thought she looked when she was being protective of you and your baby.
#jessie fleming#jessie fleming x reader#jflem#jessie fleming imagine#woso imagine#woso x reader#canwnt x reader
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