#but at this point who isn't chaotic?
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shannonsketches · 7 months ago
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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artsydevotee · 1 year ago
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just rewatched the s5 finale of miraculous and ooo i am itching for some adrien angst. let my boy have his character arc PLEASE
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vounoura · 4 months ago
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I've been musing on it pretty much since I committed to my bad end durge run but I think so so so many RPGs struggle hard with 'evil' choices bc most evil choices amount to over the top 'be a complete and utter monster' versus like. actually nuanced evil runs
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moonmoonthecrabking · 7 months ago
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"chaotic bisexual-" i don't find this particularly encourages me to read the book, actually. i might anyway, because of the concept (and in a partial hope to prove my preconceptions wrong), but i think that a mistake was made somewhere in the marketing stage
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yasashiiku · 1 year ago
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Sorry for no writing around here for a while im trying to make my blog look pretty
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#i hate that i'm like this but the girl we're hosting used my mug and it makes me irrationally angry#like#i didn't ever tell her ''hey don't use this mug because i have my own stuff and i don't like cross contaminating''#so i KNOW i have no right to be angry#and it coooouuld have been one of my family members who used it but i doubt it because they know i don't like sharing mugs and glasses etc#but either way this is just a symptom of how chaotic i feel in my own house and i hate myself for being like this#i never say anything because i KNOW its crazy people talk to be like ''hey that's my seat. why? because i always sit there and like it?''#and i know it doesn't affect anyone how the spoons are organized and how the plates are stacked and where the pots are stored#but its just infuriating to see things in places where (in my mind system) they don't go#i know it's the autism but that has never found me any sort of sympathy in my family (diagnosis or no diagnosis) so i can't say that#and if i skirt around it and say ''i like things a certain way and not having them like that causes me severe emotional distress''#it makes me seem controlling and abusive (which are things my mom has implied i am when i explain these things to her)#i know the real reason for these issues isn't our guest but also at this point she isn't our fucking guest because SHE'S BEEN HERE A MONTH#and she is clearly overstaying her welcome imo#i don't say anything because i'm not a mean person but i'm sure everyone around me can tell i'm stressed about something#i just need my space back but i don't even feel like i have a claim over that cuz mexican families are full of the ''my house my rules'' bs#which is untrue because a) the house isn't even owned by my parents anymore#(they made some stupid financial choices years ago and my uncle had to buy the house from them or risk foreclosure)#and b) we're all adults (except my brother obviously) and we all contribute however we can#so i should have some say in how i feel if i'm living here imo#and i am trying to make money however i can so i can move out soon#but just going out twice a week has me like this i can't imagine working a traditional job atm#(i did apply for a grant for autistic people of color so hopefully something will come of that)#anyways that was my rant i'm just really stressed and constantly on the brink of a meltdown#it's not this random girls fault#she just happens to be the final drop in my very very small bucket very often these days#(y'know because she's a fucking stranger in my house and i hate having to mask in my own home idk i'm awful i probably won't post this)
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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reason #28391 mn.hr should only ever be viewed in a platonic light (beings who actually ship it I'm so sorry I just dislike it romantically with a passion) is honestly just me and willow's existences .
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chuluoyi · 1 year ago
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the secret wife
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- nanami kento x reader
follow the first years’ misadventures as they find out that apparently, the infamous 7:3 sorcerer is also a dutiful and loving husband in private!
genre/warnings: crack, fluff, the first years are simply chaotic, an attempt at humor, gojo cameo (he’s so insufferable), mentions of pregnancy, nanami being the best husband there is
note: based on an anon's suggestion, this is a spin-off to love entries' wife (so gojo is married to love entries reader naturally!) this is full chaos and crack omg so sorry and isn't proofread bc i’m kinda tired so pls forgive any mistakes and my dry humor :')
general masterlist
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On one fine, sunny day, which was supposed to be a calm and relaxing afternoon...
“Hello? Yuji—”
Megumi could've sworn, they weren't usually this nosy.
“Gojo-sensei! It's urgent!”
Call it indulgence, because Nobara's curiosity just got the better of her.
“Oh? What's—”
“Does Nanamin have a wife!?”
And Yuji... well, he just needed answers, because the three of them were now in the ‘Mom and Baby’ section of department store, having just witnessed a monumental sight of their esteemed mentor, Nanami Kento—
—with a remarkably stunning woman hanging onto his arm.
“Huh?” Gojo's confusion was evident from the other line. Oh, yeah. Yuji had decided to cut to the chase and call him too, hoping for a swift clarification.
Okay, so why were the trio—plus Gojo on the speakerphone—hiding behind a pillar just to spy on Nanami and his very possible wife? Let us rewind 30 minutes before...
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Yuji considers himself to have an exceptional eye and taste for women.
And 30 minutes ago, when he fell on his butt on the rough, hard asphalt in the jammed Shibuya crossing after accidentally getting shoved by the crowd, and encountered a kind, vivacious older woman—you, who extended a hand to help him up, he was even more convinced of that.
“Are you alright, Itadori-kun?” your soft voice entered his ears, catching him off-guard, and Yuji was certain of two things then.
One, that you were just like a literal angel descended from skies above, all dolled up and pretty with your flowy sundress.
“Ah, uh—” he stammered, eyes darting everywhere and anywhere at once as his palm started sweating after clasping your hand. “I-I am…”
And two, for the life of him, he had no idea who you were.
But it registered late in his mind to ask as he was busy controlling his ragged breathing and instant crush, and before Yuji knew it, you graced him with another kind smile and went on your way.
And did he feel so miserable afterwards.
. . .
“She’s sooo hella pretty, Fushiguro! And she knows me! Me!”
Megumi sighed, eyeing his friend in disgust. Truthfully, all he wanted was to return to the dorms and collapse onto his bed, and not listen to his friend’s incoherent ramblings.
"You sure you weren't imagining things?" Nobara questioned with slight irritation. "After you embarrassed us in front of Gojo-sensei's wife a while back, please think more before you act."
"I'm not, I swear! She said my name!"
"Itadori, can you please just not?" Megumi grumbled, having enough of this ruckus. "I want to walk back in peace."
And so tucking away his pout, Yuji walked in silence just as his best friend asked, and he was really going to leave it at that when suddenly he caught the sight of a familiar pristine coat and the sundress from earlier. “Oh?”
"Isn't that Nanami-san?" Nobara also spotted him, her eyes widening when she saw you, who was happily beaming as well as Nanami's light chuckle. "And wait, who is—?"
"That's her!" Yuji burst out, pointing decisively in your direction. "That's who I was talking about!"
Oh, no. Megumi dreaded it already. He could already see the utter catastrophe—
"I'm going after them!"
"Wait, Itadori! Me too!"
Too late. Before he could stop them, Nobara and Yuji had followed the pair. Reluctantly, Megumi trailed behind them too, albeit wearing a vexed scowl. Yet despite his misgivings, he couldn't deny that the things he saw over the next 30 minutes were genuinely unexpected.
Nanami consistently led you to a quieter spot away from the bustling crowd, his hand holding yours firmly. He would occasionally throw you a smile, or when you didn’t hold hands, then he’d wrap an arm around your waist. And to the trio's bewilderment, they also saw him tenderly brushing his lips against your head while on the escalator.
Soft and gentle. It was a side of Nanami Kento they had never witnessed—either with anyone else or even himself.
The two of you ventured through home appliances, visited food stalls, and eventually... the ‘Mom and Baby’ section.
"Do you want to rest for a bit?" Nanami's voice held a touch of concern as his hand settled on the small of your back, and seeing that, Nobara positively swooned.
"Oh, no, I'm fine," you responded with a reassuring smile. "Let's head over there. I'd like to see that next!"
Watching you and Nanami meticulously going through strollers and cribs like a pair of would-be parents was apparently too mind-blowing for Yuji and Nobara, leading to the decision to call Gojo right then and there. And, as they say, the rest was history.
"Last I heard, Nanami wasn't married," Gojo answered resolutely. "If he is, then it's the ultimate betrayal because he never told me!"
"But we see him with a woman! At mother and baby care section!"
Gojo hummed in thoughtful manner. "Okay, students. Now I'm tasking you to see this to the very end! Keep me on the line!"
With that, Operation: Uncover Nanami's Wife was officially underway, and frankly, the way the three of them were clumsily tailing the 7:3 sorcerer made Megumi want to facepalm. How was it that Nanami hadn't noticed their rather conspicuous attempts at all?
Now you were fawning over baby clothes, cutely trying not to squeal as you picked a little blue and yellow overalls. "Kento! Kento! Look, how cute!"
And all of them were floored once again when the expression on his face softened, as a warm smile adorned his lips. "Yeah, they are."
"Is she pregnant? She doesn't look it..." Nobara remarked, squinting and frowning, still watching the two of you like a hawk.
"Or maybe they're shopping for someone else?" Megumi suggested, earning teasing grins from Yuji and Nobara, to which he quickly rolled his eyes, as they chorused, "Looks like you're curious too!"
After a while, you moved from the clothes to sections stocked with mother's necessities. Yuji leaned against one of the racks, pressing his ear against it, with Nobara and Megumi crowding behind him, attempting to catch a snippet of your conversation with Nanami.
"I think we should get some heat packs and these pillows—"
"Oh, Kento! You're such a worrywart, I still won't need them for a few more months—"
"Wait, what?" Yuji whipped his head around in surprise, causing Nobara, who was leaning on him, to stumble and inadvertently collide with the racks.
"Eh? Huh!?"
Unfortunately, the racks weren't sturdy enough, and the force caused them to sway dangerously. Nobara, sensing her imminent fall, instinctively grabbed Yuji's arm to steady herself. However, he got tugged instead and their combined weight exacerbated the situation, leading to the racks quickly toppling over and a deafening commotion ensued—
Crash!
"Careful!" Nanami immediately pulled you behind him, a protective arm around your shoulder, sensing your shock from the sudden crash. He was on high alert, expecting some sort of attack of cursed spirits, but instead, he was met with the most astounding sight of the bickering culprits amidst the fallen racks.
"Kugisaki! What are you doing!"
"You dumbass! Why didn't you stop me from falling?!"
"Itadori-kun...?" Nanami called out in utter disbelief, his mind couldn't fathom as to why the first years were here. However, his attention quickly shifted to Megumi, who was seething and sending his friends a glare so hard it could drill a hole into them.
Then, the boy swiftly fixed himself into a low bow in front of him, ashamed, disregarding Yuji and Nobara's groans altogether. "Nanami-san, I'm very, very sorry on their behalf."
"What are the three of you doing here?" he inquired, and poor Megumi seemed at a loss, huffing as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of where to even start.
Meanwhile you were full of worry for the fallen kids. "Oh my gosh, are you alright?"
For the second time today, you tried to help Yuji to stand on his feet, and this time, he really had a good look over you.
It wasn't exactly noticeable due to how loose your dress was, but now he could see that under it, your belly was slightly rounded—an unmistakable baby bump.
Amidst his shock and pain, Yuji couldn't bring himself to take your hand as he inadvertently let this slip, "N-Nanamin! You knocked her up!"
Nanami blinked. You gaped. Megumi and Nobara went pale in sheer horror, ready to murder their friend on the spot for his extreme height of rudeness.
“Itadori-kun,” Nanami cleared his throat then, and if he was offended, then he chose not to show it. “First of all, I’m sorry for not introducing you sooner. This is Y/N, my wife, and yes,” his tone hardened slightly, “She’s carrying our first child.”
“S-so you are married!”
“Yes, that was what I—”
“What the hell?! NANAMIIII!”
Oh, the freaking phone. After his fall, Yuji’s phone ended up on the floor, and of course, Gojo did hear all of the entire madness, evident from how his voice blared from the phone.
Nanami frowned, unwittingly reaching out towards the phone. “Who—?”
“NA-NA-MI!" Gojo screeched in righteous exasperation, and the former immediately pulled away from the phone with a cringe. “How could you?! I invited you to my wedding! Are you a hermit or something—how could not tell anyone!? Didn’t you say I can officiate—”
“I said no such thing. Please refrain from saying outrageous things, it’s both annoying and misleading,” Nanami stressed, growing more irritated by the mere sound of Gojo's whining voice and feeling his patience waning rapidly.
"Aren't we friends?! How—!"
"Should I find you instigate one more of this... shenanigans with the kids, I won't hesitate to report you to Yaga and your wife," he interjected then with clear irritation, and right that second, Gojo shut himself up.
Yuji, Nobara and Megumi couldn't help drawing that one conclusion in wonder: So, that's what Gojo-sensei is afraid of.
Nanami swiftly ended the call with a flick of his finger, returning the phone to the still mystified Yuji. Turning back to the trio, Nanami's irritation simmered as he glanced at the mess of broken goods on the floor, as well as noticing the approaching clerks.
"You three..." Nanami started, his voice rising slightly, unfaltering even as the three of them flinched. "Do you realize what you've done? Are you so idle that you can ditch your assignments?"
"Kento, don't be too harsh," you rebuked, placing a hand on his arm with a frown on your face. Nanami sighed, looking over the situation once again. It was a whole rack of baby necessities destroyed; plates, glasses, and whatnot scattered across the floor.
Nobara bit her lip in anxiety. “Oh my god, who's going to pay for all this damage?” She could already imagine the staggering amount this mess would cost. This is worth millions, anyone can go bankrupt.
There was only one person who can and will. Immediately, both Nanami and Megumi turned to her with a shared resolve.
"Gojo," Megumi blurted.
"He will be charged for everything," Nanami added with spite.
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Epilogue
"You just love those kids, don't you, Kento?"
That night, when both of you were ready for sleep, Nanami had one hand caressing your still growing belly, and you teased him with a chuckle.
"Huh?" your husband looked at you in mild confusion as he stopped stroking you. "What do you mean?"
You giggled again. "You said to put it on Gojo's name, but in the end, you were the one who covered the damages first."
Nanami huffed lightly. "That's because I can't get the kids in trouble. But mark my words, I'll make sure Gojo pays up later, by force if I need to." He made a face when he remembered just what a massive bill it was. "That's too much money to be spent carelessly. We have our child and our future to consider."
"You're always like that," you sighed fondly, taking his hand and placing it back to the swell of your belly. "Always on the first line of defense for the students." Your smile widened. "It makes me think... just how lucky our kid will be with you as their father."
"On the contrary, I'm counting my blessings that they'll have someone as soft as you for their mother," your husband retorted with a smile, kissing your temple. And your heart melted into a puddle by his affectionate gesture.
"That's too sweet... ah, yeah," suddenly, you were reminded of a critical thing. “Kento, have you ever considered telling everyone else that we're married? At least to people at school?”
Nanami always wanted privacy for safety reasons most of the time, and you understood that, but seeing that Gojo and the first years knew already, you thought it might be the best time to let everyone know.
"I honestly don’t see the need to, why?"
"People like Gojo are confused—"
Your husband rolled his eyes then. "Don’t worry, dear. People like Gojo exist to spread the word so we don't have to."
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mossydice · 1 year ago
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Echo || wood elf, way of shadow monk, lawful neutral (not that you'd know it from meeting them)
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vanteguccir · 2 months ago
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── ୨୧ ! DRESS TO IMPRESS IN REAL LIFE
matt sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N, Matt's secret girlfriend, participates in the 'Dress to Impress in real life' video.
WARNING: None.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by an anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
A/N²: I added and changed some dialogs that didn't happen on the video, so the fic ended being more complete.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The triplets were buzzing with energy, their house a hive of activity as they set up for their newest video; Dress to Impress, real-life edition. Each round had its own theme, and the first one was Summer Vacation. Y/N had been roped into joining as a surprise guest, and secretly, Matt couldn't have been more thrilled.
The boys had already pulled out all the stops with their outfits. Chris sported a chaotic ensemble: a bucket hat with panels of clashing colors, lime green slides, and denim cargo shorts.
Matt was rocking a relaxed, dad-on-vacation vibe, complete with an oversized straw hat, patterned swim trunks, and a shirt that screamed, 'I don’t care, I’m on island time'.
Nick had gone full beach prep with a striped tank top, sunglasses that were almost too tiny for his face, and a retro cooler box tucked under his arm like an accessory.
As the camera rolled, Y/N was still getting ready in Matt’s bathroom, leaving the boy's to discuss who went better between the three of them.
"Alright." Chris said, pointing a finger at Nick’s cooler. "I’m just saying, if you don’t actually have anything in there, that’s a waste of a prop."
"It’s called committing to the bit, Chris." Nick shot back, adjusting the towel draped over his shoulder. "The cooler is the vibe."
Matt, who was adjusting his sunglasses, glanced toward the bathroom door, his face lighting up as if he could sense Y/N’s presence through the walls.
"Y/N better bring it. I know she’s got something amazing up her sleeve."
Nick rolled his eyes, looking at Matt with a boring expression.
"Why do I feel like you’re already planning to give her every win, no matter what she’s wearing?"
"Because I am." Matt replied bluntly, grinning like the lovesick puppy he was.
The door finally creaked open, and all three boys turned as Y/N emerged. She had nailed the summer vacation aesthetic, wearing a flowy, tropical-patterned sundress, bikini top below it, oversized black Prada sunglasses perched on her nose, and sandals that matched her outfit perfectly. She’d even added a straw beach bag for good measure.
"Okay, Y/N, I see you!" Chris exclaimed, clapping his hands together.
Y/N laughed, grinning widely before twirling to show off her look.
"Alright, that’s tough competition. You actually look like you're ready to spend the day at your beach house." Nick gave a low whistle, his blue eyes traveling from her face to her feet and back again. "But I'd say you're in fourth place. You're ready for the beach, not for any summer vacation."
"Fair." Y/N shrugged, take a quick peak at her outfit again before looking at Matt. "What do you think?"
Matt's eyes seemed to be shining like the whole cadence of stars, wandering through every detail of her choice of clothes.
"Are you kidding? That’s... that’s so good. You look like you stepped out of a summer vacation catalog or something." His voice sounded slightly high-pitched with excitement. "Nick's just jealous."
"What? No, I'm not!"
Chris rolled his eyes, already sensing where this was going.
"Oh, here we go."
"Like, if I saw you on the beach." Matt continued, ignoring his brothers entirely. "I’d probably just pass out. That’s how good you look."
"Okay, Matt." Nick said, holding up a hand. "We get it. Obsessive fucker."
The room filled with laughter, Y/N shaking her head but unable to hide the grin spreading across her face, her cheeks heating up.
"Right, first round? I'm second." Matt declared, gesturing toward himself. "Obviously, Y/N was first because, you know, she's Y/N." He gave her a little smile. "Then Nick was third, and Chris was fourth. That’s the average."
"Yeah, unfortunately." Nick muttered, throwing his hands up.
"Well." Chris turned dramatically to the camera and pointed. "They can vote."
Nick, not missing a beat, leaned closer to the camera, his voice dripping with mock confidence.
"Oh, I already know they’re gonna vote for me. Mine’s obviously the best. Unless..." He paused for dramatic effect, raising an eyebrow. "These girls wanna sleep with Matt and vote for him."
"What?!" Matt’s eyes widened in pure shock as he whipped his head toward the camera, looking utterly scandalized.
Y/N’s eyes flicked between Nick and Matt, her lips tightening slightly trying to suppress a laugh. It was impossible not to be amused by Nick’s antics.
She knew Nick wasn’t wrong, Matt’s popularity with their audience also had to do with his charm and, let’s face it, how good he looked on camera. There probably were plenty of girls who’d vote for Matt purely because of his looks, even if one of the other boys dressed better.
Nick continued without missing a beat.
"It’s the straight man advantage! You guys..." He gestured wildly at the camera. "Are gonna discriminate against me because I’m gay, and I don't like 'yall back."
At that, Y/N couldn’t help but burst into laughter, shaking her head.
Matt, still recovering from Nick’s bold accusation, raised a hand defensively.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second." He looked straight into the camera with that intense, sincere gaze that Y/N loved. "Just for the record, I’m completely off-limits. Completely."
The way he said it, firm and definitive, sent a wave of confidence through Y/N. Her lips twitched into a small smile as she crossed her arms, clearing her throat to contain her reactions, trying to play it cool.
Nick, however, wasn’t done.
"Oh, yeah? You really think they care about that?" He teased, smirking as Matt shook his head in disbelief.
Chris rolled his eyes, still laughing.
"Nick, stop trying to guilt-trip them into voting for you."
"I'm not doing anything." Nick replied with a wink, sending the group into another fit of laughter.
"Now, bring the runway on, boys!"
The camera cut to Chris, who had appointed himself the first to strut down their makeshift runway that started from the stairs.
He walked in quick steps before stopping in the center of their camera lens, dramatically fanning himself with an imaginary hand fan.
"Where did you even get the idea of the imaginary fan?" Y/N teased, laughing with the others.
"Shh, it’s part of the vibe." Chris replied, flipping his bucket hat backward with flair. He strolled toward the camera with exaggerated confidence, striking a series of ridiculous poses. "Yeah, you’re welcome." He said as he walked off-camera, leaving the other three in stitches.
Nick went next, cooler in hand.
"Get ready to witness greatness." He said, lifting the retro cooler above his head like it was the Holy Grail, showing it off.
"You go, queen!" Y/N cheered, nodding her head while watching him.
Nick smiled brightly, placing it down carefully and reached for the towel draped over his shoulder, unfolding it with slow, deliberate movements. Too slow.
"This is taking forever." Matt groaned, crossing his arms.
"Nick, it’s been 30 seconds. Just lay the towel down!" Chris yelled.
Nick ignored them, carefully smoothing out the towel on the floor, his face the picture of focus. Once he was satisfied, he walked down the "runway", throwing some expressions to the camera before almost gluing his face to the lens, taking his glasses off.
"Iconic." Y/N said between laughs.
"Thank you, thank you." Nick replied, bowing before dramatically kicking the towel aside as if to signal the end of his performance, his right hand fanning himself as the last act.
Matt was up next.
"Alright, let me show you how it’s done." He said confidently. Grabbing his sunscreen, he opened the cap and squeezed a dollop onto his fingers, dabbing it on his cheeks like football player stripes.
"Well, you gotta stay protected, I guess." Y/N muttered, smiling with how Chris was rooting like crazy.
Laughter escaped her lips as Matt sauntered toward the camera, showing off the sunscreen like it was a designer handbag. He struck a confident pose, holding the product up, before walking back off the camera with an over-the-top smile.
Finally, it was Y/N’s turn.
"Your move, Y/N." Nick said, gesturing grandly toward the imaginary runway.
"Alright, alright, give me a second." She said, thinking fast.
She reached into her straw bag, pulling out the pair of oversized sunglasses that she had thrown there at some point, dramatically placing it on her face. Then, grabbing a small beach towel she had tucked inside the bag, she draped it over one arm like a sash.
"What’s happening here?" Matt asked, intrigued.
Y/N strolled onto the "runway" with slow, exaggerated movements like a madame arriving at a five-star resort. Halfway down, she pretended to feel the heat, pulling an actual bottle of water from her bag and taking a sip before fanning herself with her hand.
"It has to have the fan move!" Nick applauded, grinning to the scene before being interrupted by Chris’s comment.
"Of course, I created it."
At the end of the runway, Y/N stopped, tossed her sunglasses off dramatically at the ground, and struck a ridiculous pose with one hand on her hip and the other shielding her eyes as if she was shielding her face from the sun.
"That was solid!" Chris exclaimed, clapping.
Matt, meanwhile, was in awe, hands on his head.
"Are you kidding? That was really good. A thousand points. Game over. Y/N wins. Everyone go home."
Nick scoffed.
"Matt, stop simping for two seconds so we can keep this contest going."
"I’m not simping." Matt argued, clearly lying. "I'm just stating facts."
"Shut up, Matt."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
For the Mix-Matched Madness theme, the camera panned to the boys standing in a line, proudly displaying their chaotic ensembles.
Chris was clad in a bright red varsity jacket over a striped shirt, camo pink shorts, and mismatched knee-high socks with chunky boots.
Matt decided for plaid shorts layered over one plaid pant leg, a pastel blue and yellow sweater vest, and a floppy dog-ear cap.
Nick went to a plaid jacket layered over a striped shirt with a perfectly coordinated tie, and matching sweatpants and sneakers.
"Guys, I’m clearly superior." Nick started, raising his eyebrows as he adjusted his glasses. "My outfit is actually intentional, look at this synergy! It screams fashion-forward."
Matt groaned, rolling his eyes and looking at Chris with a 'is he serious?' expression.
"Nick, you’re wearing matchy-matchy plaid in a mix-matched challenge. You’ve missed the assignment!"
"It’s ironic." Nick shot back, crossing his arms. "I’m doing intentional matching. If I were in a real runway right now, people would actually like my outfit."
Chris scratched his head, looking between them.
"Isn’t that kind of cheating, though?"
Before the debate could escalate further, Y/N stepped into the frame, causing all three boys to give her their attention.
Her outfit was next level: a bright purple sequined crop top paired with one lime green legging on her right leg and a fluffy, neon orange sock on the other. She wore a skirt made of layered, clashing floral patterns that didn’t quite match the fuzzy checkered cardigan she threw on top. To finish it off, her accessories included a leopard-print beanie - the one she stole from Matt's closet -, oversized sunglasses, and two entirely different shoes, a silver stiletto on one foot and a Croc on the other.
The boys gawked.
"Okay, now that’s mix-matched madness." Chris said, pointing at her.
"Girl, you look like you fell into a thrift store... and it worked." Nick added, looking both impressed and slightly annoyed.
"How can you still look so good while wearing... that?" Matt asked, pointing at her outfit with his hand while shaking his head in disbelief.
Y/N twirled dramatically, holding out her skirt as she grinned at the camera.
"Thank you, boys. I like to call this 'chaos with confidence'." She invented the random name, throwing a quick kiss to the lens.
Chris threw his hands up.
"Alright, I’m officially placing second now."
Nick groaned, shaking his head dramatically.
"No way. She’s great, but I’m still winning. Look at this tie!"
Matt laughed.
"Nick, your tie doesn’t save you from breaking the theme. You’re disqualified."
The scene cut to the "runway", where each of them showcased their chaotic outfits with an equally chaotic performance.
First up was Nick. He confidently strutted forward, reaching for the end of his tie. With exaggerated flair, he lifted it as if someone were pulling him forward, his face a picture of mock shock and drama, stumbling forward.
"Ey, keep going!" Chris hollered, nodding enthusiastically.
The moment he reached the end of the runway, he grinned mischievously, running his hand dramatically through his hair and tossing a sultry look at the camera before taking off his pink glasses.
"Work it, Nick!" Y/N chimed in, her laughter mixing with the chaos.
Nick turned on his heel with a laugh, sauntering back to the start and throwing a praying gesture, ignoring how Matt laughed, mockingly imitating his act.
Next, Matt stepped up, adjusting his floppy dog-ear cap before suddenly spinning it backward.
"Showtime." He muttered under his breath, earning immediate chuckles from the others. He walked to the camera with a cocky stride, crossing his arms and bending slightly to the side.
For the final move, he pivoted and moonwalked his way back to the start, nearly slipping on his mismatched shoes but recovering with a grin.
"Did you see that? Effortless." Matt declared, earning boos and laughs from the rest.
"You almost ate it, Matt." Y/N teased, shaking her head.
Chris stepped up next. And, of course, he brought drama.
"Hold my jacket." He said, then immediately shook his head. "Actually, no. The floor will."
With exaggerated aggression, he ripped off one of his red lobster gloves, throwing it to the ground with flair. The glove was followed by his belt, which he unbuckled and tossed with equal energy.
"Oh my God." Y/N looked at the camera with wide eyes.
"What is happening?" Nick cackled, practically doubling over, slapping Y/N's arm.
Chris wasn’t done. He walked up to the camera with an intense expression, holding his hands out and touching the screen, acting as if zooming in.
"Enhance." He said, squinting into the lens. Then, as if the camera wasn’t worthy, he spun dramatically on his heel, walked back, and threw off his varsity jacket mid-stride before striking one final pose.
"Now that’s how you do it." Y/N joked, looking at the camera. "Like and subscribe if you want Chris to make a strip tea-"
"Y/N!"
For Y/N's turn, she adjusted her oversized leopard beanie with a dramatic flair and tilted her sunglasses low on her nose, revealing a dead-serious expression underneath. She strutted forward slowly, dragging her stiletto along the ground for added effect. When she reached the camera, she whipped her head to the side, making her orange fluffy sock the star of the moment.
But it didn’t end there. Y/N suddenly crouched down into a deep squat, raising one hand in the air and striking a pose like she was ready to pounce. The boys immediately broke into cheers and laughter.
"Yes, queen!" Nick shouted, jumping in the place and clapping, laughing loudly.
"She nailed it." Matt said with a proud grin, nodding his head.
Y/N slowly stood, turning to the side as if the camera had disappeared, and walked off like nothing had happened.
"Thank you." She said nonchalantly, tossing her hair over her shoulder as the others applauded.
"Alright, I officially retire." Nick said, throwing his arms to the air in a surrender gesture.
"Same." Chris picked up his lobster glove from the floor, grinning.
Matt sighed, smiling at Y/N's figure.
"She’s unbeatable. Let’s not do these challenges anymore if she’s in them."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
The scene cut to the next category: Rock Concert. The boys had gathered in front of the camera, each flaunting their edgy outfits.
Chris leaned casually against the wall, dressed in all black with his bandana tied around his head. His sunglasses were perfectly placed, and a Bluetooth speaker hung over his shoulder like a statement piece.
"Clearly, I’m the embodiment of rock concert aesthetic." He said confidently, adjusting his speaker strap.
Nick crossed his arms, giving Chris a side-eye. He was sporting his long-sleeved shirt adorned with skulls and intricate spiderweb patterns paired with black cargo pants and chunky boots.
"Please." Nick retorted. "I’ve got literal death on my shirt. That’s as metal as it gets."
Matt, standing in the middle, smirked. He wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt, complete with a silver skull belt buckle and leather pants that practically screamed rockstar.
"Yeah, but have you seen my belt?" He argued, lifting his white shirt slightly to show it off. "This is peak rock concert material. I even coordinated it with my jacket."
"Okay, but who do you think the crowd would look at first?" Chris challenged. "The guy with the bandana, all black, and sunglasses? Obviously me. The speaker only makes it better."
Nick rolled his eyes.
"You look like you’re trying to be a cool dad sneaking into a concert." He teased.
"Alright, alright." Y/N interrupted from off-screen, stepping into the camera frame and effectively stealing the show.
Y/N’s outfit was on another level. She wore a black 'Bon Jovi' cropped top with silver detailing that matched the chains on her leather mini skirt. Fishnet tights peeked out from under the skirt, leading down to a pair of knee-high combat boots that added an extra edge to the look. To top it off, she wore a cropped leather jacket with studs on the shoulders and accessorized with chunky silver jewelry and a black choker.
The boys fell silent for a second, staring.
Y/N smiled brightly at them before turning to the camera, raising her right arm and making the 'rock and roll' gesture by raising her pinky and index fingers and lowering the others.
"'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and live in hilltop houses driving 15 cars..."
"Girl, what the fuck?" Nick widened his eyes, looking from Y/N to the camera with a look that screamed 'are you guys seeing this?'
Matt laughed loudly, recognizing the song from one of the TikTok trends that Y/N had been obsessing over the past few weeks, being quick in imitating her position, and starting singing with her.
"... the girls come easy and the drugs come cheap, we'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat-"
"Okay, that's enough of that." Chris interrupted the pair, gesturing to them while shaking his head in disbelief. "So, Y/N wins."
Nick groaned dramatically.
"Let's take her out right now. I don't wanna play with her anymore."
Matt couldn’t stop smiling.
"Can we just talk about how she’s nailing this? Like, can we get her to join the band we don’t have?"
Y/N laughed, giving a mock bow.
"Thank you, thank you. Now, let's just be clear, I already won." Y/N said with a sly grin, stepping forward. "You'll all lose time if you keep discussing who's the best between you three."
"How can you be so sure?" Chris crossed his arms, carrying a superior instance.
"Because I actually listen to rock." She said, shrugging like it was obvious. "AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Kansas, Asia... should I keep going?"
Nick groaned.
"Okay, that’s true, but it doesn’t count!"
"Doesn’t count?" Y/N repeated, feigning offense. "I think you’ll find that the fact I actually know rock makes me the winner by default." She turned to Chris. "Tell me. Have 'yall even listened to ‘Highway to Hell’ all the way through?"
Chris hesitated, playing with his earphones.
"Uh... I mean." He looked at Nick. "Probably?"
Y/N laughed, shaking her head.
"Thought so." She crossed her arms. "So, I don’t need a skull belt, all-black everything, or death on my chest. I’ve got the actual music taste. Rock is in my veins, boys."
Nick groaned dramatically, throwing his head back.
"She wins. I hate it, but she wins."
"Alright, fine." Chris muttered. "But we still look better."
"Not a chance." Y/N teased, spinning in place again and winking at the camera. "This outfit screams rock goddess."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
The boys were now proudly sporting their "Zoom Meeting" outfits. Chris held up his MacBook, Matt adjusted his glasses with a goofy smile, and Nick tugged at his black tie, looking down at his bright heart-shaped boxer shorts with fake professionalism.
"Alright." Chris started, addressing the imaginary Zoom meeting in front of him. "Gentlemen, let’s get to business. As you can see, we’re all clearly dressed to impress."
"Except for Nick." Matt teased, nodding toward his brother's boxer shorts. "The hearts? A little too much, don’t you think?"
Nick scoffed, feigning offense.
"Excuse me, at least I have this tie that says I’m both professional and emotionally available. A winning combo."
Matt rolled his eyes and gestured to his own look.
"Meanwhile, I’ve got balance. Business on top, relaxation on the bottom."
"That’s literally the whole theme." Chris pointed out with a smirk. "You’re not special, Matt."
Y/N watched from her spot leaning against Matt's bathroom door, her legs crossed as she sipped from her mug of coffee that she made while waiting for them to get ready. She was dressed comfortably yet stylishly, rocking an oversized beige knit sweater that draped perfectly off one shoulder, paired with black leggings and fluffy white socks. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun, with a few strands framing her face. Despite the boys' chaotic energy, she was nailing the whole "effortlessly cool" vibe.
"Y/N, you’re way too cozy for a Zoom meeting." Chris said, pointing at her as he adjusted his loose white shirt.
"Well." Y/N said with a playful grin. "Unlike you guys, I know how to mix comfy with class. You all just look ridiculous."
Nick gasped, dramatically clutching the box in his hands.
"Ridiculous? Ridiculous?! Look at this tie! I���m the epitome of professionalism!"
Chris leaned toward Y/N, pointing at Matt.
"What about him? He’s literally in boxer shorts."
Y/N rolled her eyes, sipping from her mug to hide her smile.
"You're all wearing it, dumbass." Her eyes lingered on Matt's red boxer shorts for a moment too long. "It’s really interesting that someone would think boxer shorts are appropriate for a Zoom meeting, actually."
Matt smirked, striking a random pose.
"Are you jealous?"
"No?" She said quickly, shaking her head. "I mean, it’s not like anyone else on the Zoom would see them, right?"
The other two brothers caught on instantly, grinning like Cheshire cats.
"Y/N." Nick teased. "Are you saying you wouldn’t let your Zoom co-workers see your boxers?"
"Nick!" She exclaimed, throwing an exasperated look at him. "That’s not the point!"
Chris chimed in, laughing.
"Yeah, Matt. She’s definitely jealous. She wishes she could wear boxers to a meeting."
"I do not!" Y/N huffed, crossing her arms, though a smile tugged at her lips. "I just... don’t understand why he’d even bother wearing the shirt if he’s just going to go full casual anyway."
"It’s called commitment to the aesthetic." Matt said, walking over to her and placing a hand on her shoulder, discretely squeezing the exposed skin. "Something you clearly wouldn’t understand."
"Oh, I understand commitment." Y/N shot back with a smirk, meeting his eyes momentarily. "But let’s be honest, none of you are winning any awards for those outfits."
"Excuse me?" Nick said, pretending to be outraged. "I’m clearly the winner here."
"Winner?" Chris scoffed. "You’re wearing socks pulled up to your knees, bro. That’s not even close to a win."
Y/N chuckled as she watched them descend into a full argument over who had the best Zoom look, but she couldn’t stop her gaze from flickering back to Matt’s outfit. Something about the casual confidence he exuded - boxers and glasses - had her feeling just a little possessive and turned on.
"Alright." She announced, clapping her hands to get their attention. "If you’re all done arguing, let’s see who can really sell their look with a runway walk."
The boys' faces lit up, and they quickly got into character.
Nick was up first, confidently sliding across the wooden floor in his socks, arms spread wide like a figure skater. As he came to a stop, he reached for his boxer shorts and dramatically lowered them until they hit the ground, shouting a little "Oh!".
Matt immediately yelped.
"Nick!" He yelled before lunging forward to cover Y/N's eyes with both hands.
"Matt! What are you doing?!" Y/N laughed, trying to swat his hands away while Chris doubled over in hysterics.
"Protecting your innocence!" Matt declared, keeping his hands firmly over her face.
Nick, unfazed, quickly pulled his boxers back up and began walking toward the camera with exaggerated confidence, tugging at his tie and making ridiculous faces as though he were a real model.
"You’re unbelievable!" Chris murmured through his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Well, we've got 2 strippers now-"
"Y/N!"
Nick turned dramatically to face her and winked.
"You’re welcome for the show."
Next, it was Matt’s turn. He walked to the middle of the floor, cracking his knuckles with a sly grin before suddenly dropping to his hands and knees.
"Uh, Matt?" Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What...?" Nick added, genuinely confused.
Then, without warning, Matt lifted his left leg to the side like a dog at a fire hydrant.
The realization hit everyone at once, recognizing the movement from one of the rounds of DTI that Matt and Chris played, and the room erupted into cheers and laughter.
"That was perfect!" Chris shouted, clapping his hands.
Matt stood up, brushing imaginary dirt off his shirt with a smirk, and walked toward the camera with crossed arms, striking a serious pose like a model in a high-fashion commercial.
"Okay, that was actually cool." Y/N admitted, giggling as he walked back to join them.
When it was Chris’s turn, he shook his head with a grin.
"I’m sitting this one out." He said.
"What? Why?" Nick asked, incredulous.
Chris shrugged.
"I’m already the main event. I’ll let Y/N steal the spotlight this time."
Y/N’s eyebrows shot up.
"Oh, so now I have to go?"
"You got this!" Matt encouraged, nudging her toward the runway.
"Fine." She said, standing up and straightening her oversized sweater dramatically.
Y/N walked off the camera and took the book she'd been reading the past few days from the coffee table, walking back to the frame before delicately putting it on her head like a balancing act. She strutted confidently toward the camera, balancing it all the way, then stopped to pull out her mug, striking a victorious pose before taking a slow, exaggerated sip. The boys erupted in applause.
"You can call me Barbie now." She started, turning to the boys while opening a wide smile before pretending that her hand was a microphone. "On top of the world where I can see everything before me reaching up to touch the sky-"
"Okay, singer girl, pipe down a bit." Nick raised his right hand, exchanging perplexed looks with Chris, who was laughing.
"Okay, she wins." The youngest admitted, shrugging in defeat.
"Unreal." Matt said, looking at her with obvious pride. "You’re way too good at this, Y/N."
"Okay, okay, she wins. No one can top that." Nick nodded at Y/N. "But I think Chris gets second place in this one."
"No, I give you number one." Chris insisted, pointing to Nick while Matt just observed.
"I can't accept that. I'm just happy Matt's wearing his blue light glasses again." Nick's voice turned dramatically high-pitched, clearly imitating the fandom.
Before anyone could react to him, Matt ripped his glasses off of his face, bending it backward until it snapped, small pieces flying everywhere.
"Matt, why would you do that?" Y/N yelled, looking at him with wide eyes and open mouth - just like the other two - before pouting, looking miserably at the shattered pieces. "I liked that one."
"I don't like those stupid jokes." Matt simply replied, looking unfazed at his brothers and Y/N.
Nick and Chris kept looking from Matt to the camera and back, their expressions full of shock.
"You're going to buy another one just like that one, I don't even care." Y/N ordered, crossing her arms and looking directly at Matt, raising her eyebrows as if to say 'dare disobey me.
"Fine." He sighed. "Sorry."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Extra - comments:
"okay but can we talk about matt literally saying ‘I’m off limits’? someone tell me what’s going on here 🤡"
"nick casually calling out matt girls for voting on matt only bc they want to sleep with him had me SCREAMING 😭"
"why was Y/N blushing when matt said he was off limits? I SEE YOU, GIRL!!!!"
"the dynamic between Y/N and matt is giving major dating vibes"
"wait, why does matt always seem to hype Y/N up just a little more than chris and nick? like, we get it, dude. she’s awesome. but tone it down, or we’ll all start connecting dots 🤨"
"as a fellow rock fan, I have to say Y/N listening to AC/DC and bon jovi automatically makes her my fave"
"not Y/N convincing matt with zero effort to do the rockstar trend with her 🤧"
"I’m not saying I ship Y/N and matt... but I also kind of ship Y/N and matt. the way he looked at her with that dress??? man, I know that look"
"matt breaking his glasses and then Y/N ordering him to buy another one and him ACCEPTING IT???? and saying sorry???? omg that's just girl boss right there 🙏🏻"
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bouroboros · 1 year ago
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Really annoying that Elite is what it is. But an excellent parody of the genre of you just look the premise of every seasons only to skip to the final episode because if there's one thing exemplar is: they're really creative at making sure it's something incredibly stupid but the build up toward it is just...that's exactly my problem with it. I hate the genre. So it's painful to watch. But that kind of writing is hilarious, I love how it tries so hard to be taken at face value only to end up being like "ok nevermind". It does everything Riverdale doesn't: make sense and by making sense it means it might just be stupid because that's the nature of things.
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deadsnakey · 4 months ago
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𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐆 —> 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏
GENRE —> FLUFF
characters; Mattheo Riddle, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise zabini, Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy.
You've been accepted into the friend group, the longer you're with everyone the more you build bonds with each one.
Inspired by @girllblogging777
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✩ You and mattheo are definitely best friends and are the closest out of the whole group.
✩ Lorenzo sees you as a little sister and you see him as an older brother, but mattheo and you radiate the most sibling energy; you both have curly hair probably, bonus if it's also brown.
✩ You and blaise study together since the rest aren't helpful or they're just a distraction…mattheo and draco specifically. At least theo isn't too distracting even if he’s bored.
✩ chaotic, certain duos or trios are worse then others.
✩ Pansy and you always do girls night together every friday or Saturday depending if someone busy or not. masks, doing nails, crafts, make up on each other, trying products out theatre weird, movie marathon with snacks, etc. its a blast and the boys always complain because that seems so fun omg????
✩ the boys love teasing the shit out of you because they think its entertaining but will back off if they realize they're taking it too far
✩ you probably teach most of them how to correctly treat a women and things not/to say and not/to do, etc. give them a little reward for becoming gentlemen to keep motivating them. (they're dogs.)
✩ they listen to you most of the time
✩ tbh if you're studying or sum that needs a lot of focus and is serious to you, they will let you work and help as much as they can if you ask for it.
✩ they are probably really protective over you.
✩ most to lease? Mattheo, Draco, Pansy, Theodore, Lorenzo, Blaise.
✩ mattheo, Draco and Pansy is the worst of it, will fight for you.
✩ Theodore and Lorenzo are more verbally abusing someone and Blaise has a sharp tongue when he wants too, he is not afraid to be an ass to someone when it comes down to it.
✩ Lorenzo and Blaise are the nicest in the group not including you. They are still assholes but more toned down.
✩ Pansy and you team up on them allllll the time and they sometimes hate it, so they do it back to you cause they're petty little shits.
✩ when you're throwing up, they'll rush over to get your hair out of your way as quickly as possible.
✩ will try their best to comfort you if they find you crying or upset or sum. Theo and Mattheo are ones who immediately pull you into their chest to protect you; holding you firmly.
✩ they all give really good hugs, but Lorenzo's are probably the best.
✩ they make sure you're eating enough, drinking enough water, not over exhausting yourself and overall just watching over you to make sure you're taking care of yourself.
✩ if they find out you're not taking care of yourself like you should be, they will constantly be on you about it to the point it starts getting annoying.
✩ anytime y'all have classes with one another they will be pestering you asking if you drunk water today and if not, "ok, here's some water now drink, love.", like they will shove food down your throat so please just take care of yourself, its not worth the annoyance and hassle.
✩ crackheads, always getting into some shit and dragging you into it unless you don't wanna be apart of it. (though they'll beg you to agree lol.)
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ellecdc · 5 months ago
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How about a fic where Remus falls for reader who is Sirius’ sister? If Sirius freaks out with Regulus and James, just imagine how protective he would be with a sister! Specially if she is sweet and kind (totally opposite of him and Regulus)
will I ever make a sibling fic that isn't chaotic? no, likely not. also, I didn't exactly make her the opposite of Sirius and Regulus but it could be argued that she's better than them anyways. ALSO, I've always refrained from reader-inserts with Black!sister reader simply because I see her as Reggie's twin who looks the way he does, and also can't get beyond the fact that she would have a celestial name SO, in any Black!sister fics going forward, please note that her middle name will have been Soleil which is French for sun, and the boys call her Sunny as a nickname <3
Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader who he has fallen head over heels for [1.5k words]
CW: siblings, threats of murder
Most boys at some point in their lives will be asked the following question:
Are you a mummy’s boy, or a daddy’s boy?
If a boy wasn’t asked such a question, it was likely because the answer was painfully obvious.
“Little Lucius Malfoy is such a daddy’s boy.”
“That James Potter, such a mama’s boy”.
“Oh, sweet Peter Pettigrew, he has always been a mummy’s boy.”
Since the answer was so painfully obvious, neither Sirius Orion Black or Regulus Arcturus Black had ever been asked this question. For them, the answer was simple:
They were their sister’s boy’s.
It was this fact that made Remus Lupin’s current predicament so bloody difficult. 
“Where is she!?” Regulus barked as he stormed over to the Gryffindor table where Sirius was sitting beside James across from Remus and Peter.
“Goodmorning, Reggie.” Sirius offered instead of answering his brother.
“For Sala- hi, Sirius. Where is she?”
“Where is who?” 
“Your sister.” Regulus spat, causing Sirius’ brows to furrow as he chanced a look over his shoulder at his brother. 
“How is she my sister? She’s your twin.”
“Nevermind that, do you know where she is?” Regulus muttered.
Sirius sighed and stood from his seat to scan the Great Hall. 
“Nope.” He offered with a pop of the p before returning to his breakfast.
“I’m going to avada that meddling witch!” Regulus hissed as he stormed off; Remus, James, and Peter all watching after him as Sirius continued happily with his toast.
“Are….you not worried about her?” Peter asked cautiously then.
“Not really.” Sirius responded quickly. 
James let out a breath at that and shook his head in disbelief. “Siblings are weird, mate.”
“Thanks, Siri.” You chimed as your head popped up between James and Sirius; the former shrieking not unlike a displeased mandrake plant as he clutched at his chest. 
Neither you nor Sirius paid him any mind as Sirius nudged his plate closer to you so you could pick from it. 
“What’d you do now?” Sirius asked.
“I simply told one of Reg’s admirers that he was already seeing someone; I hardly see what all the fuss is about.” You offered simply, causing Sirius to look at you in bemusement and mutter “Reg is seeing someone?” at the same time James looked at you in horror and hissed “Reg has an admirer!?” 
You simply smirked and looked at Remus who was sitting across from you and shot him a wink.
He hoped to all get out that no one noticed the heat radiating in his cheeks as he smiled nervously down at his plate, though he was relatively certain he could feel a set of spectacled eyes burning a hole into the side of his head. 
“Wait, why do you look like that?” Sirius asked then, causing the table to look at him to see he was surveying your form.
“Like what?” You asked him slowly, looking down at your uniform as if to see what Sirius could possibly be talking about. 
“You look…like…nice.” Sirius muttered as if that was a particularly bad thing.
“I always look nice.” You argued then.
“That’s not true, you usually just look fine.”
“You’re such a git.” You spat, taking the piece of toast he had in his hand and taking a bite of it.
“Doesn’t she just usually only look fine?” Sirius asked then, and Remus was horrified to see he was looking at him. 
“Me?”
Sirius nodded impatiently as if saying “yeah? What about it?”
“Why are you asking me?” Remus asked somewhat shrilly. 
“You’re objective.”
“And Peter and James aren’t?”
Sirius huffed as he kicked Remus in the shin under the table. “Would you just answer the sodding question?”
“I…well,” and Remus looked at you - you, who always looked nothing short of lovely and radiant and dauntingly perfect in every way, and today had been no exception. But he couldn’t very well say that. “She…she looks fine, yeah.”
Sirius’ brows furrowed further as he turned back to look at you, and Remus tried to pretend he didn’t notice a brief look a hurt cross your features. “You do, though. Look lovely today, that is.” He added awkwardly, simply receiving a half-smile in response. 
“Sunny!” Regulus barked then; apparently having found his way back to the Great Hall in his search for you.
“Oh, Merlin and Morgana.” You grumbled as your head fell back in exasperation.
“What did you tell him?”
“Who?” Sirius and James parroted. 
“Sunny.” Regulus repeated, his gaze never moving from you as he sidled up behind you. “What did you tell him?”
“Oh, stop with the theatrics, Regulus; you’re embarrassing yourself.” You drawled, sounding like a true upper-classman as you refused to look at your twin. 
“What did you tell Fenwick?” He gritted out slowly in a way Remus was sure would make a lesser man cower, but you simply rolled your eyes at him. 
“I simply told him that he was grasping at billywigs because you were already seeing someone.” 
Regulus held your gaze as you raised your eyebrow at him. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.” You hissed, completely unimpressed. 
“Who in the hells are you seeing?” Sirius asked then, causing the two of you to look over at him.
“Nevermind, Siri.” You responded in a bored tone around another bite of his toast.
“I will too mind, thank you very much! Who is my baby brother seeing!?”
“Oh relax, Sirius, there’s no need to call the DMLE; it’s not like Sunny’s seeing anyone.” He chuckled, causing Sirius to snort in laughter.
“That’s true.”
You made a disbelieving sound as you looked between your two brothers. “What in Merlin’s name is that supposed to mean?!”
“That means, my dear baby sister,” Sirius responded curtly as he yanked his toast back from you, “that you must never date, otherwise your big brother will end up in Azkaban.” 
“Oh give us a little credit, Sirius; we’d get away with it.” Regulus countered. 
“Why!?” You beseeched. 
“No one is good enough for you, obviously.” Sirius responded simply, as if you were quite ridiculous for even needing to ask. 
“And anyone who thinks otherwise will end up dead.” Regulus continued earnestly, causing James to bark a laugh.
“Don’t worry Moons, Pete and I will make sure your funeral is nice.” He said as he brought another spoon of cereal to his mouth.
Remus felt all blood drain from his face as everyone turned to look at him.
Regulus stared at him in a confused sort of horror, Peter looked at him with a sympathetically worried expression, Sirius didn’t look exactly horrified or disgusted as Remus had thought he would, but he definitely looked disturbed to some level, and you were looking at him with what he thought (and certainly hoped) was hopeful surprise.
James looked up at the silence to see everyone staring at Remus, whilst Remus just stared at him in betrayal.
“James!?” Remus whisper shouted; his voice having apparently run off along with his bollocks. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regulus finally asked then, staring daggers at Remus as Sirius raised his hand slightly as if warning Regulus off of his best friend, though never removing his own scrutinising gaze from Remus. 
“James, what’d you mean by that?” Sirius asked James - eyes still glued to Remus.
“I, well, erm. I’m actually, not entirely sure? I just…well…”
“Do you fancy her, Moony?” Sirius whispered as if it was some horrid joke and so completely unfathomable that Remus could possibly find you as enchanting as he admittedly did. 
No, he wanted to say, of course not, Pads. That’s your baby sister, I’d never fall so head-over-heels for the sister of my best friend, that’s absurd. 
But that wouldn’t be true.
And he’d already been outed. 
His gaze moved to you and offered what he hoped was an apologetic smile before opening his mouth to respond. 
“Regulus is shagging James!” You blurted then, causing James to flinch so violently that his knees hit the bottom of the table top, and Regulus deflated severely from where he’d been staring down Remus like some well-trained guard-dragon. 
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Sirius shrieked then, turning to point his glare at someone other than Remus, finally.
Remus had been so caught up in the verbal volleying taking place between Sirius, Regulus, and James that he hadn’t noticed you had disappeared from your spot beside Sirius until you popped back up beside him and were encouraging him up by the sleeve of his uniform jumper.
And you looked so sweet and so lovely and so hopeful and so mischievous and Remus really was helpless in the pull you had on him, which saw him rushing out of the Great Hall with your hand in his as you dragged him away from your brothers and laughing all the while. 
So yeah, this made Remus Lupin’s current predicament incredibly bloody difficult.
Because if Sirius and Regulus were sister’s boys, you were your brothers’ girl.
And that made Remus Lupin a dead man walking.
2K notes · View notes
certaimromance · 2 months ago
Text
𝜗𝜚 A Picture of a Cat.
Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
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Summary: After months of emailing back and forth, you finally meet the person you've been chatting with every day. Then you realize that Spencer is not just a girl's name.
Words: 2,7k.
Warnings & Tags: forensic!reader. with spencer of the early seasons very much in love in mind. the reader has a cat and has little faith in men (literally me, sorry). SO MUCH chaos and maybe lack of communication but happy ending. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: This is pretty chaotic and not particularly serious😭 It might be best not to try to make sense of it. They're just two idiots in love, really.
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To say that Spencer was dying of nervousness was not enough to describe his true feelings.
From the moment he woke up this morning without any mail from you in his inbox, he began to feel that his day was going wrong and that it was becoming an endless nightmare. He had lost count of all the times he had checked his mail at work, hoping to see even a one-line message from you to calm his anxiety.
As someone who had received your good morning every day without fail for the last four months that you had been talking to each other daily, he was completely taken aback and couldn't quite put his finger on why. Perhaps he had said something to offend you, or maybe you were just not feeling the spark anymore. But astonishingly, none of your numerous emails that he had taken the time to reread on the jet indicated any cause for concern.
Everything had been so positive with you recently, and he was grateful to have someone to talk to, even if it was through a computer, every time he finished a challenging case and his mind just wanted to focus on something else. He found great comfort in reading about your day and your thoughts every morning, as if it were his newspaper. Even the pictures you always sent him of your cat sleeping in cute poses, eating, or doing anything else made him smile and gave him the idea of adopting a pet, even when he had never thought about the possibility of it before. You always helped him realize some desires he hadn't previously considered.
But suddenly he didn't have any of it. Nothing at all.
Reid's gaze fell once upon the computer on his desk, and his face was illuminated by its light as he reopened his email page for what might have been the thousandth time that day. His fingers tapped over and over on his knee in an attempt to calm his nerves as the page loaded at a slow pace. He took the opportunity to look at the time on the clock hanging on the wall in front of him. It was ten o'clock at night, and yet, once again, there was no trace of you among his messages.
His heart stopped for a second when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he had to close the page he had opened on his computer at full speed before he could even realize who it was.
“Hey, take it easy, kid.” Derek said gently, removing his hand from his shoulder and stepping back a step. His eyes fell on the computer screen, and he was intrigued. “What were you watching?” He asked, with a playful smile.
“N-nothing.” Spencer's voice trembled beyond his control, and he quickly rose from his chair, trying to shield the computer with his body.
You had been his best-kept secret for quite some time, and he was content with that. He enjoyed the idea of maintaining a certain level of privacy in that aspect of his life, as something just between you two. It was more special and romantic that way.
“Nothing? Is that what they call those things now?” Derek inquired, his tone teasing but not unkind. The boy blushed a little, unsure why. “I must admit I'm surprised.”
Reid had to think for a few seconds to figure out what his colleague was talking about, but even before he could understand, Morgan had started speaking again.
“Anyway, turn that off.” He said, pointing to the computer and settling his bag over his shoulder, ready to go. “Someone's waiting for you in the boardroom.”
Almost automatically, Spencer frowned and watched him, waiting for him to provide more information or at least laugh if he was making a joke. However, that didn't occur. Derek didn't laugh at him or anything of that nature.
“Go, Reid. It might be best not to keep the girl waiting.” He gave his friend a gentle pat on the shoulder and a reassuring smile before heading off on the way to the elevator.
A girl? Waiting for him? How?
Spencer took a moment to collect his thoughts, attempting to grasp the meaning behind Derek's words and the circumstances surrounding the supposed visitor. With a measured pace, he stepped away from his desk and proceeded down the hallway, heading for the boardroom with a contemplative demeanor.
As he opened the door and cautiously stepped inside, he was met with the most glorious sight of his life, the one he had waited so long for, the one that now quickened his pulse and seemed to bring him back to life after feeling dead all day.
You.
Standing at the table, looking intently at the various maps and data scattered around the round table in the center of the room. So deep in thought that you were not even aware of his presence. As pretty as in the pictures of you that he had seen.
He couldn't help but let out a little "oh my" at the sight of you. His heart was pounding so hard he thought he could hear it from across the room, or maybe his ears were just ringing from the blood rushing to his head. Reid stood still, looking at you, amazed. He could see how the light touched your hair and how you bit your lip as you concentrated on organizing the papers and a folder in your hand. It was real. It had to be real.
“Hi.” His voice suddenly startled you, making you realize that you were no longer alone and that the door was now open.
You look up from the documents you are examining and see him by chance. It takes you a moment to realize that he works there, and only by the FBI badge in his pants pocket.
“Hi.” You responded after giving him a very obvious visual scan.
Your voice.
It was the first time he'd heard you speak, and it was just as he'd imagined it would be.
“I’m-” You extended your hand in a cordial manner to introduce yourself, but he interrupted.
“I know who you are.” He spoke quickly, smiling at you. “I...I...you are...” Reid cursed himself for stuttering the sentence as his tongue suddenly felt too heavy in his mouth.
“Okay…I'm waiting for someone.” You said it politely, but your tone showed your anxiety.
Oh, you didn't know it was him.
Spencer let out a laugh to relieve the growing tension, but it came out sounding like a cough. He wanted to hit himself. Why was he acting like a child? He was an agent, for God's sake. His job was to talk to complete strangers every day and do entire profiles without getting nervous. He found it hard to understand how that was changing so much now. He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak more clearly.
“Yes, I know.” He replied, sounding a bit nervous. His voice was a little shaky, as if he was straining to get the words out.
“Do you know if this person is coming?” You were standing there with your arms crossed, trying to see if anyone else was coming after him.
At that moment, a look of confusion came over his face. It had not even crossed your mind that it might be him. And although it was to be expected and totally understandable since you had never seen a picture of him, Spencer still felt a twinge of pain and insecurity inside. Perhaps you expected him to look different, or at least not look like a kid playing federal agent.
Maybe it would have been helpful if he had sent you a picture of himself when you sent yours. That way, you might have had a better idea of what to expect. But you were very understanding of his insecurities and lack of comfort with the photos at the time. So he thought everything would be fine anyway…he was so wrong.
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before speaking up. “Actually, it's me.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to hide how nervous he was, with little success.
As soon as he said it, you looked surprised, your mouth slightly open, and then you laughed.
“That's pretty funny.” You said it with a slightly uncomfortable smile. When you realized he wasn't laughing, you added, “Good joke.”
Seeing your reaction, Spencer felt the urge to shrink back and disappear, as if that action could erase the last few seconds of your memory and also erase the feeling he suddenly had of having screwed up in an unfamiliar way. He felt his chest tighten as you asked him again if the person you were waiting for was coming. Was it so hard to believe that he was the person you were talking to? The one who earned your trust and affection?
“I spent several hours on a plane, so please let me know if your colleague is coming.” You spoke again, your tone conveying a hint of disappointment and fatigue. “If I'm a nuisance and Spencer doesn't want to see me, I'd appreciate knowing that.”
Hearing you say his first name gave him an unexpected shiver. It sounded so pleasant and intimate. He took another deep breath and forced herself to speak clearly.
“Wait, he does want to see you.” He paused for a moment, realizing he sounded a bit ridiculous. “I mean, I do. I'm Spencer.”
You're momentarily taken aback, unsure if the guy in front of you is joking. His nervous expression suggests otherwise, and you even entertain the possibility that he might be crazy.
Oh my goodness, you were all alone on a practically empty floor of the FBI offices with an insane agent.
“Just let me know if she's coming or not, please.” You said, taking a few steps back to be at a safe distance from him.
His mouth was so dry he could only manage a soft, hoarse whisper. “She? Did you think I was a girl?”
“You?” You furrowed your brow, feeling more confused and uneasy.
At last, he had a suggestion and reached into his pocket to retrieve his badge, holding it out to you in a gesture that seemed to convey innocence.
“I’m Spencer Reid.” He said, his voice betraying a hint of awkwardness as he was caught off guard by the peculiar turn of events.
You looked at the badge, confused, and slowly looked up, looking into his eyes closely for the first time. You studied his face intently, not really believing it.
“Are you Spencer? My Spencer?” You asked.
When you said “my,” he felt a flutter in his chest. His brain was trying to tell him not to get too invested in the moment, but the vulnerable part of him was moved by the way you said it, like he was all yours. There was a special air of affection there that he liked.
“Yes.” He replied, almost in a whisper. “I am.”
You had to take a moment to process the information, eyes glued to his as you tried to make sense of it. Little by little, you come to understand. This was the person you had been talking to every day for months—the person with whom you had shared your fears, stories, and dreams. Yet you hadn't even asked him for a picture or a call—anything that would have made you realize that he wasn't a woman. It seems almost unreal to you to have fallen into such a confusion.
“I sent pictures of my cat to a man?!” Was the first thing you thought, and it managed to come out of your mouth clearly, in an indignant tone. “I said you were my soulmate!”
Now you were the one who sounded insane.
He stood there for a few moments, looking at you and seeing the different emotions on your face. When he finally spoke, his voice had a hint of insecurity in it.
“Yes…but your cat is cute, and you take good pictures.” He scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit nervous. “Did you know that the evocative power of images is widely studied? They can help us verbalize and even rescue forgotten memories and stories from our collective memory and-” He silences himself. “Sorry.”
When he fell silent, your brain couldn't do the same, and thousands of hard-to-filter words began to appear. You had a strange feeling in your chest, a mixture of familiarity with the way his ramblings sounded to you, just like the emails you loved so much, and confusion about the whole situation.
“This is so strange.” You said to yourself, pacing around the room a couple of times. “I was so stupid-”
He observed you with great interest, trying to discern the thoughts and feelings that were likely swirling in your mind. He could empathize with your confusion, as he was also uncertain about the circumstances. He couldn't blame you for feeling bewildered. You had embarked on your journey with the expectation of meeting a girl named Spencer, but instead, you encountered him. You had envisioned a lovely girl, and you found him—a simple individual, a nerd who had been told on numerous occasions that nerds lacked charm.
“No. You're not.” He said, attempting to manage his desire to bridge the gap and offer solace. “It was a misunderstanding. I should have provided you with more information.”
“How would you even start a conversation by saying you were a man?” You let out a laugh to yourself. “I would have stopped talking to you instantly.”
The sentence hit him right in the heart.
The two of you had the opportunity to communicate by mail when your boss asked you to send reports on several of the autopsies with similarities you had done to the BAU. It was then that a picture of your cat was sent in the middle of the files. Spencer was the one who received it and made an attempt at a joke after your long apology. And then another, and another, until you ended up talking for four months until now.
But if you had known from the beginning that he wasn't a woman, you wouldn't have bothered to get to know him at all.
“I...I don't know what to tell you..” He admitted, sounding a little more vulnerable. “But why did you think I was a woman?”
After a moment's thought, you said. “Your name made me think of a girl I knew in college. And you...you were so nice and sweet in your emails that I found it hard to believe that a man could be like that through a screen.”
When you shared how you perceived him through his emails, it seemed that a certain vulnerability came to light. The situation had turned the tables, and now he was the one standing there trying to process the information.
“I thought I finally had a friend. You know what my job is like...and yours is just as all-consuming.” You spoke again, having to sit for a moment in one of the chairs in the place, trying to calm down. “It would've been great to have someone who understood me as a friend.”
He felt a pang in his heart at your words and was instantly reminded of the times you'd confided in him about how isolated you felt in your lab, surrounded by dead people and computers.
“You can still do that.” He replied without thinking. “I’m still the same person as before, just different packaging.”
For you, it was much more than that. First of all, you trusted him in the beginning because you thought he was a girl; that's why he understood you so much and you had that special connection.
Hell, you'd even told him how bad your period was, and he'd understood so well. He'd given you tips and facts that you didn't know that were beyond your expectations of what the average man knew.
“I mean, I'm still someone you can talk to.” He continued, his hands moving nervously in his pockets. “Unless you...unless you don't feel that way anymore.”
When you finally spoke, your voice sounded almost whispery and gentle. He couldn’t help but lift his gaze from the floor to you, feeling how his body relaxed just a bit with the soft sound of your voice.
“No, no. I still want to talk to you…if you’re my Spencer.”
“I am, all yours.” He replied with a smile.
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starcrescentisz · 12 days ago
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── BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND.
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໒꒰ྀི ^ ⸝⸝ ^ ꒱ྀིა박성훈 x fem! reader content established relationship non-idol au older brother's best friend trope reader is jay's younger sister ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content unprotected sex (stay safe!) petnames used kissing pussy eating fingering begging squirting overstimulation sunghoon being a tease and wear glasses (important trust) jay cockblocking (not sorry). . .!? 1111— mlist.
note. i'm gonna make every sunghoon post with him wearing glasses. no one and nothing will stop me!!! also i've made a taglist, feel free to send an ask if you wish to be tagged in my future posts :) taglist. @tfwbluu
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You have met your older brother’s friends a couple of times, having known them since you were young. They were a loud and chaotic group, if one were to ask for your opinion on them. But among them, there was someone who piqued your interest. Sunghoon isn't as talkative as the others. He mostly keeps to himself but you have seen him cracking jokes or making fun of your brother; Jay, resulting in the two bickering back and forth. It’s a common sight to hear them argue about the smallest things, much to everyone’s amusement. 
You knew it was wrong to have feelings for your brother’s friend but you couldn’t help it. Not when Sunghoon was nothing but kind and caring towards you. His features were simply another plus point and everything about him simply makes you swoon. You had to walk around your brother, hiding your relationship with Sunghoon from him. You know how overprotective Jay can be when it comes to you. The last thing you want is to end Sunghoon and Jay’s friendship. You knew how the two are practically glued to the hips, always coming as a pair.
“Ngh, Hoonie, fuck, hah, m-more,” you whined, your back arching off the bed. 
Your legs were slung over your boyfriend’s broad shoulders. Your left hand was covering your mouth; a feeble attempt of muffling your moans while the other gripped onto his abyssal-like hair. You couldn’t help but bucked your hips forward, craving more. It was a miracle you had survived this long before meeting Sunghoon and you came to learn that he was amazing with his mouth and fingers. 
Your boyfriend hums, moving his long, thick fingers in a scissor-like movement, opening and preparing you for what’s to come. Your eyes rolled up at a harsh suck of your clit, his tongue delving deeper. In the span of what felt like years when it was actually an hour, he had managed to make you cum a total of two times. The first was done by his fingers while the second was done by his tongue. Currently, he was pushing you over your comfort zone, hoping you could cum a third time. 
As they always say, third times the charm, right?
You squirmed about on the drenched sheets, gripping onto the pillow for dear life. Breathy moans flowed from your lips, like water falling from a water tap. 
“Fuck!” 
You gasped, thighs buckling as Sunghoon swirls the overly stimulated bud with his tongue. You felt it, the fire in your abdomen and how heat was spreading under your skin. Throwing all caution out of the window with the only thing in your mind was chasing your impending climax, you frantically jerked your hips forward. Your boyfriend got the hint, allowing you to fuck his tongue and it didn’t took you long to reach your climax. 
As compared to the orgasms you had before, this was more powerful and it took a deep toll on your body. You weren’t sure what happened as you laid on the bed, loosening your grip on Sunghoon’s hair, eyes closing to take a much-needed breather. 
“Woah, that was hot. I didn’t know you had it in you.” 
You opened your eyes, only to pause at the lewd scene before you. The frames of his glasses were coated in a thin layer of your juices. Some were dripping as it trailed down the frames, landing on the sheets. Your breath caught in your throat as Sunghoon licked his lips, his chin was glistening underneath the ceiling light. You wanted to apologize but he waved you off, knowing what you wanted to say. 
“You don’t have to apologize, princess,” he grins, moving closer until your noses graze against one another. “But I believe I should get a reward for making you squirt for the first time, right?” 
You light-heartedly rolled your eyes, choosing not to reply and kissed him instead. Sunghoon grinned into the kiss, parting your lips with his tongue, allowing you to taste yourself. He positioned himself in between your legs, one hand trailing down to fondle with your hardened peaks. You moaned into his mouth, the sound doing wonders to his body and mind. Wanting to hear more, Sunghoon broke the kiss. He aligned his cock to your needy, neglected and sensitive dripping entrance. 
“Look at you, I didn’t even have to use lube,” he breathed out, unable to tear his eyes away from the erotic sight of watching his cock disappearing inch by inch, getting swallowed by your greedy clit. 
“Oh god.. Hoonie,” you whined, throwing your head back, your gummy and velvety walls sucking him in, making him groan at the feeling. 
By the time he was buried deep in you, you felt like you were floating on a cloud. Sunghoon started thrusting, hips snapping against yours as he massaged your inner thighs—wanting you to relax and enjoy yourself. The bed moved along with your movements, the bedframe hitting the wall at equal intervals. At this rate, you’ve long forgotten that your brother had arrived home after a hectic day of back-to-back classes. Which was why none of you were prepared for the unexpected moment of Jay opening the door without knocking. 
“Hey sis, could you—Wait, what the fuck!?” He asks, raising his head from his phone, only for him to shriek at the top of his lungs. 
Both of you whirled your heads to his direction and your reactions were immediate. Sunghoon scrambled to move away from you while you pulled the sheets up, covering your body from your brother’s poor eyes. Jay had shielded his eyes with one hand, back facing the both of you. 
“Uh, it’s not what it looks like,” your boyfriend chirps in and you mentally face-palmed. 
“Not what it looks like? Pray tell me, then what does it look like because I can’t believe I saw my best friend fucking my sister. Oh my God, please God, help me,” Jay exclaimed. 
The two of you shared a look and you shrugged your shoulders, having gotten used to your brother’s dramatic antics. 
“Come down to the living room and we’re going to talk about this. And you better not be fucking or I will kill you with my bare hands, is that understood?” Jay directed the threat to his best friend, who nervously gulped. 
“Yes, sir.” 
When Jay left after closing the door along with him muttering about how he needs to bleach his eyes, you ran a hand through your hair. “Well, I guess we’re going to die under the hands of my brother.”
“...Please don’t say that. I’m actually scared of my life now.” 
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the-odd-shu · 29 days ago
Text
You're supposed to be sick, don't sass me
A continuation of lab shenanigans, and Hey Hextech
Masterlist
Next part:
Characters: Viktor, Jayce, Reader
(Pre - Jayce/Viktor/Reader) (POLYCULEEEE!)
A thread following the chaotic trio that is, laboratory illustrator!Reader, Viktor and Jayce being unsupervised in the lab.
Note; this takes place during season 1, and the reader is gender neutral with they/them pronouns.
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Reader who started the day with an annoying cough, and a tickle in their throat, and slowly declined in energy throughout the day.
They come into the lab ten minutes after the boys, cradling a warm drink between chilled hands with their backpack slung over their shoulder. Viktor is already at the chalkboard drawing up a set of equations he thought up whilst at home last night, whilst Reader can hear Jayce in the kitchenette loudly stirring mugs.
"And what time do you call this?" Viktor drawled from the chalkboard, eyes practically sparkling with mischief as he glances at them over his shoulder.
Reader makes a show of looking at the clock hung above the chalkboard. The minute hand was exactly two past the hour, which was honestly pretty early for them, since they tended to roll up around five past on a good day. "I'd call it, right on time."
Viktor sighs in exasperation, and Jayce chooses then to come out of the kitchenette, a mug in each hand. "Oh, good morning. Are you ready to finish everything up for the deadline tonight?" He asks, like an unaware asshole (affectionate).
Reader's face goes through the five stages of grief. "Uh, deadline...?"
Jayce, like the unaware, workaholic he is, simply strides up to the chalkboard to hand Viktor his mug of sweetmilk, all whilst sprouting information about an enormous research paper they had been aware of, but knew still needed half a dozen sketches and polishing before it could be submitted.
"Ah." Reader says eloquently, which draws Jayce's concern. "I thought that was due in next week."
"I'm afraid not." Viktor interjects, voice uncharacteristically soft, as if he expects them to begin freaking out. Which prompts them to make a point not to, simply because he had been expecting it, and that man was right about too many things already.
They take in a deep, calming breath instead, and take a sharp drag from their warm drink. "Right then, time to clock in. No one look at me, breathe near me, or acknowledge me until it's done, got it?"
"Can I interrupt you to bring you drinks at least?" Jayce asked, expression totally serious.
They pause to think about it for a moment. "Only once I've done half of it, or I'm actively crying from eye strain. Whichever comes first really."
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The day progresses. Reader gets on with their work, Jayce and Viktor get on with theirs'. At a glance, it seems like nothing is wrong.
But then when Jayce comes round with the drinks and begins insisting on a break, Reader becomes snappish with him. He notices that they keep alternating between taking off their uniform jacket, and dragging it back on and as well as their coat with increasing frustration. It isn't cold in the lab today, not to Jayce anyway, and yet he's fairly certain they're shivering. And what's even more concerning, is that Viktor doesn't even have goosebumps, which he is notorious for having, sometimes even with the heating on.
Reader who asks for a herbal tea during the break with a hoarse voice, instead of their usual caffeine monstrosity, which has Jayce's eyes widening in shock, and Viktor's head snapping up from his textbook, the pair exchange concerned looks from across the room.
Reader who has begun rubbing at their eyes, with a small frown, but continues to finish drawing after drawing of their assignments for that day.
Jayce being reluctant to step in, since he'd been conditioned with the spray bottle to offer help only when it was asked where his lab partners and their work were concerned. He reasoned that they were an adult anyway, and would no doubt step away from their desk when they truly reached the end of their tether.
Viktor who realises he is the one who is going to have to step in.
Reader who has just finished up yet another sketch, has moved it to the side with the others, and has taken up their pencil to begin another.
"That's enough for now. You need to take a break." Viktor tells them firmly, approaching their desk.
They sigh, pencil momentarily forgotten, as they rub at the bridge of their nose. Viktor couldn't help but notice just how exhausted they looked. Their complexion has severely deteriorated since they came in this morning. Eyelids heavy, movements sluggish.
"You know I can't, V. We have Councilor Medarda coming in the morning, and the sketches for this proposal need to be completed in time to be scanned onto the paper."
"Maybe, but you've already done most of them. We can get by with a sketch or two less than usual."
"I have no doubt you could, but that doesn't mean you should."
"Y/n-"
"Just leave it! Please? The sooner I get these done, the sooner I can go home."
Viktor sighed. "You know we won't hold it against you if you're a day behind-"
"Oh, don't be a hypocrite, Viktor." They interrupted him, tone sharper than he is used to hearing from them. "Just last week, Jayce had to bribe you out of the lab when you went on a sixteen hour deep dive into some theory you had."
With a tight snort, they turned away to pick up their pencil.
Viktor's brows furrowed as his grip tightened on his cane. "Don't be cranky with me."
"Then leave me alone to work." They tiredly replied, "you're in my light."
A heavy sigh from Viktor as he pointedly does not step out of their light. "Jayce, hit the lights."
The sheer absurdity of the command, gives Reader pause.
"Wha-what? I am literally doing this for your paper?" They try to complain, time within which Jayce had diligently crossed the lab and has flicked off the lights, then he's heading in the opposite direction to the windows, where he begins to draw the blinds.
Reader lets out a hysterical little laugh. "You two are so weird sometimes."
Jayce comes back to their desk, a big shadow amongst the silhouettes of the desks and lab equipment. Perhaps this wasn't their smartest idea to go blind in a science lab of all places, but Viktor reasoned it was the only way to get Reader to physically stop doing their job.
"Right, pick something to work on for the next few hours," Viktor says to Jayce, "I'll email Councilor Medarda that we need more time, then we're heading over to Y/n's place."
"Excuse me? When did I invite you over?!"
"When you started being a brat." Viktor returns easily, before spinning on his heel and carefully navigating his way back to his desk. His eyes are already pretty much adjusted so it's not too much trouble.
Reader groans. "You're not listening to me." They complain. "I can push through and get it done for the deadline tonight. I'm just a little tired."
"I am sure you could." Viktor replies. "But as a hypocrite, I must remind you that your health comes before any work you need to do or complete."
Jayce approaches Reader's desk, steps loud and audible so they won't get jumpscared by him. With care, he takes the pencil from their hand and sets it down on the stack of papers waiting to be completed. "V is right."
"Not you too Jayce."
"No, listen. The deadline is nowhere near as important as your health. You'd done a lot of work already, more than enough, so let's just leave it at that today."
Reader glares at him. "The next time one of you gets a cold, I don't want to hear any shit about me being overbearing."
Jayce smiled, and Reader immediately crumbles.
With a heavy sigh, they sit back in their chair. "Fine. But you cannot say I didn't try to get this done."
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Basically, they bully Reader into leaving the lab early. They're reluctant to go, so the boys decide 'fuck it, lets take some work and go back to Reader's place to make sure they get some rest'.
Cue the boys going to work in the living room after herding Reader to their room and ordering them to take a nap.
A nap which morphs into fitful sleep, as Reader's body steadily declines. They begin coughing full force. Tossing and turning. Getting too hot. Then abruptly shivering from how cold it suddenly gets. Getting up to pee. Checking the time, before going back to bed. Briefly resurface for pain meds. Realise that time has BAREKY moved since they last checked and now they're just BORED! They try to go back to sleep again.
Reader can feel themselves getting sicker as their voice begins to strain and hurt, but their mind is still active.
They have weird fever dreams. They keep waking up, and not really knowing where they are.
Jayce and Viktor are passed out in the living room when Reader cracks open their bedroom door, suddenly ravenous for food, and wrapped in a heavy blanket with bare feet. They pad down the hall of the flat to the kitchen, where they pull bread out of the cupboard and begin wolfing it down slice by slice. Somehow it is EXACTLY what they wanted to eat. Just solid enough to feel nice on their sore throat, without aggravating it further. Their throat is shot from coughing, tight and uncomfortable with every swallow, but their hunger wins out over the pain.
Then they shift their attention to the medicine cupboard, pulling down a new brand of painkillers and filling a glass of water to wash it all down.
They dread dragging themselves back into that sweaty bed, envisioning more hours of boring tossing and turning. Of throwing the covers off when the heat threatened to boil them, all before scrambling to drag them back and hunker down when the coolness became frigid.
Instead of going back to their bedroom, they drag their ass into the living room, where their co-workers are passed out on the couches. The couches THEY want to curl up on and catch some sleep. Jayce - as always - was taking up the entirety of his, whilst Viktor was sat upright, feet on the floor with his head thrown back and resting on the backrest, which couldn't have been comfortable for his neck.
Deciding that Jayce was in too deep of a sleep to even attempt at waking, Reader shuffles over to Viktor and lightly nudges his good foot with their toes. His head rolls towards them, eyes fluttering open to frown up at them.
"What is it?"
"Got bored."
He scoffs. "Only you could get bored of being sick."
They shrug. "I need a change of scenery." They explained, before sliding a hand out from beneath their blanket cloak to motion to the couch beside him. "Can I sit there?"
Viktor glanced down at the empty expanse of couch. "Wouldn't you prefer to lay down?"
"Are you offering up your lap as a pillow?"
His brows jumped up to his hairline at the bold question. And if they had been in their right mind, they might have rapidly backpedalled and tried to pass it off as a joke. But as they were, tired and waiting for the painmeds to dull the ache in their skull, they didn't have the energy to spare to save face. Besides, they knew that Viktor was the kind to jab someone with his cane rather than allow them to make him uncomfortable.
"I suppose." Viktor said after a long moment of drawn out thought.
"Great. Thanks." They replied before crawling onto the couch cushion, curling up on their side whilst pulling the blanket more fully over them and plopping their head into his lap. Luckily, most of their face landed on his good leg rather than the one encircled in the brace, but either way, Viktor didn't protest. Almost immediaely, they could feel themselves relaxing into the comfort of the couch, as a hesitant, nimble hand gently lowered itself to their temple. With an absent hum, Viktor checked their temperature before letting his hand card through their sweat damp locks.
Again, they can't find it in themselves to care, their cheeks burn with fever, and yet goosebumps erupt up their forearms. They can feel themselves shivering, even under the blanket.
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"-get them anything?" Jayce's voice filters in as their mind begins to resurface from weird dreams consisting of drawings that walked off of pages and a disturbing version of Jayce with no eyebrows.
"A cool flannel perhaps." Viktor's voice rumbles from somewhere closer to their ears. The gentle slid of fingers against their aching temple feels strangely soothing. "And some more painkillers with a glass of water."
"On it."
Footsteps pad away from the couch.
Groggily, Reader peels an eyelid open to find the curtains to the living room drawn against the strong sunlight, leaving the room comfortably dim.
"Finally awake, I see." Viktor muses, his hand carefully pushing their hair away from their forehead.
Jayce comes back into the living room. His jacket and boots off.
Viktor encourages Reader to roll onto their back, their head still comfortably pillowed in his lap. Jayce sets the glass of water and the pills on the coffee table, before kneeling down beside the couch. With careful, broadcasted movements, he lays the cool flannel over Reader's sweaty brow, who shivers at the feeling. The coldness is refreshing, even as it has their forearms to erupt into goosebumps.
"I'm surprised V let you lay here for so long. His bedside manner is usually atrocious."
"It's because I was given no choice." Viktor carefully corrected.
Reader huffs out a weak laugh. "I didn't say it out loud, but he could probably tell it was either let me lay down or he'd find himself on the floor."
"You would not have been able to wrestle me to the carpet in your current state." Viktor corrected sharply. "You looked like death warmed over."
"And I felt like it." Reader agrees. "Just admit it V, you've got a soft spot for me."
Jayce is watching them bicker with fondness in his eyes. Knelt beside the couch, he carefully peels up the flannel, flips it over and reapplied it to Reader’s forehead, who sighs in relief at the freshness.
Viktor's brows loosen ever so slightly as they melt back down into his lap. "I certainly do not hate you." He said, sounding like he was compromising, rather than simply agreeing with them.
"And THAT is as good as a declaration of friendship coming from you."
He tutted, and then shifts. "Up. My leg is stiff and I need to walk around."
"But I'm comfortable."
"Too bad. I've tolerated your thick head for several hours too long."
Jayce helps sit them up, Viktor grabs his cane and hauls himself up with a deep, pained groan, his brace's gear grinding and clicking as his joint turned. He stays looming over the couch for a few moments, testing his leg, whilst Jayce gets Reader a cushion to lean against instead.
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I like to think that they take it in turns to bully each other into self care. So if someone gets ill, or burnt out, the other two become makeshift nursemaids and threaten and blackmail them into going home to rest for a bit. Following them home if it is required of them.
I also know in my bones that Jayce is the kind of dumbass to be too cuddly with someone who was sick with 9/10 lands him the same illness a matter of days later, and the cycle continues.
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