#but as it stands my brain is too muddled. this isn’t a hiatus by any means

[spidrboots]

hi, all. i appreciate the patience, & if i haven’t gotten back to you here or through discord, i will do my best. my health took a rough turn & while i don’t want to get into specifics, im hoping to get some answers as soon as im able. i miss you all & hope everyone is doing well <3

[skamthemuse-blog]

Chapter 4: Straight from the Cat’s Tongue 

How are you supposed to react when two of your best friends vanish and no one will tell you anything? You keep saying they have to be okay and you have to believe it but as the hours go by, it’s getting harder and harder to believe. I feel like I shouldn’t even be writing this to you, but I know you want an update since I haven’t posted in the few days. This is officially my notice of hiatus. I love you, my readers, so much but I can’t talk about who wore what or interview any guests right now. I’m sorry. This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just goodbye for now.

              Love,

              M.F.

***

              Magnus read over his post for the hundredth time. The view count kept going up and the comments section was flooded, but for once he could care less about how popular his blog was. His heart wasn’t in it. It wasn’t even into the waffle sitting in front of him, that Mahdi had made twenty minutes ago, now soggy under the deflated whipped cream. He wasn’t sure if Mahdi had actually expected him to eat it or just needed someone to make one for. Ever since their friends had gone missing he’d started a buy one, get one free promotion just so he would never have to stop working.

              Up until now, Magnus hadn’t shown any sign less than hope. He had to pretend to be strong every time he went to check on Even. He couldn’t imagine what Even felt like. He wasn’t just missing a friend, but the love of his life. Magnus knew it would be hard for anyone. He felt obliged to be the friend that went over there to check on the other man. He wanted to make sure that Even was still taking his medication and that things weren’t getting too bad. He knew what his mother had been like when her sister passed away a couple years back and he didn’t want to see his friend spiral in the same way. Isak would want Even to be okay.

              Thinking about Isak and Even’s epic love story made him miss Vilde. It had been three years now. He should have been over it. That explosive night shouldn’t have mattered anymore. But it did. It still did to him. They had both said things and he’d tried to help her, but she had pushed him away. The fact that he was cheating on him wasn’t the biggest shock it was that—

              “Mahdi!” Magnus snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a familiar voice echo through the empty restaurant. He turned to see Sana Bakkoush, standing in all her glory at the door. Behind her were Eva, Chris and Noora. They looked like Charlies Angels, all together, beautiful and always ready to kick ass. His stomach sank. The absence of their fifth member made the whole scene feel off. Maybe that’s what made everything feel even more serious to him.

              Mahdi walked around the counter to see the four girls. “Noora, Sana, Chris and Eva? What are you all doing here? Did you come for the special?”

              Chris nodded, prompting Noora to nudge her as she shook her head. Sana stood tall. She didn’t waste any time to get to her point, “Do you have any enemies you want to tell us about?”

              “What?” Mahdi asked. Magnus was lost now. Good. He’s just as confused as I am.

              “Isak was in your car,” Sana said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

              “And?”

              “Do you think anyone was looking for you instead?”

              Mahdi was taken aback by this statement. Magnus couldn’t say he had expected it either. He hadn’t thought about it that way. Mahdi replied, “No. No, there’s no one that would. I don’t have any- no. There can’t be.”

              “No hell-bent pancake restaurant ready to take out the competition?” Chris offered.

              “No,” Mahdi replied, firmer this time. “I don’t have any enemies.”

              “But does Jonas?” Eva asked, just loud enough for everyone to hear. It was more of a thought escaped her lips that an actual question, but it was more than a fair point.

              “Jonas is a protester. He finds a cause and he won’t stop until everyone’s heard it. There was an anti-capitalist rally in Sweden and it turned into a bit of a riot. He got in an argument with a police officer, so they said he resisted arrest.”

              “There’s a pretty great video of it online,” Magnus added. “Dude isn’t scared of anything.”

              “Do you think he’s made any enemies?” Noora asked.

              “Tons!” Magnus laughed. It was obvious he didn’t understand where Noora was leading this discussion. “’You can’t take a stand without making someone mad,’ that was his motto.”

              “Do you know anyone in particular?” Noora asked.

               “No one that would want to kidnap him if that’s what you’re getting at,” Mahdi said.

              “What about Isak?” Chris asked.

              “No way,” Magnus said. “Sure, he can get angry, but he wouldn’t actually hurt anyone. Not intentionally.”

              “Didn’t he start that fight with your brother’s friends in high school?” Chris asked Sana.

              “Yeah, but there were no hard feelings. Isak’s a pretty good person,” Sana replied.

              “Usually,” Eva said, sitting down at the counter beside Magnus. This caused everyone to turn their head to her.

              “What do you mean?” Magnus asked.

              “In high school, he broke up Jonas and me. When I cheated on Jonas, he told me not to tell him and then told Iben. Then when I confronted him he told me it was because he liked me and-”

              “Wait, he liked you? But I thought…” Magnus was wide eyed, not understanding.

              “Oh for the love of- He liked Jonas!” Sana jumped in, cluing in the blond boy.

              “What?” This was news to Magnus. He never would have guessed. His mind began running to all the times that they all hung out as friends and how he never knew. He almost forgot that they were supposed to be talking about missing people.

              “Focus,” Mahdi said, putting a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “We’ve all done things we regret but are they enough to want to commit a crime?”

              “What about Even?” Sana asked, wracking her brain.

              “Why,” Magnus got apprehensive. He didn’t know why he was so defensive about it. Maybe he just didn’t want Even to be muddled up in this any more than he was. Of course, it was impossible to separate him from the whole situation. There was also part of the thought that if it was about Even, Magnus could be guilty in all of this.

Magnus had been the first one to introduce Isak to the public after Even’s career took off two years ago. The plan originally had been to keep him out of the news; to let it all be about Even. It was around that time that Magnus had started his blog, Straight from the Cat’s Tongue. He had needed something to do with his life. It had all started when he attended a party that Eskild threw. He had been sitting alone awkwardly, feeling sorry for himself around Vilde’s ex-friends, when Noora sat down beside him. He had asked her about what she had been doing since high school. She had told him all about her new job as a freelance journalist. Something about the way she was talking about her work made something click in Magnus. Unlike her and Jonas, he wasn’t interested in the political statements of it. He couldn’t keep up with policies or laws, but he was interested in the human interest, from the scandals to the who’s who of the gossip. His blog had taken off when he gave them a story no one else couple have: who was the muse for Even Bech Næsheim’s stories? Overnight he had thousands of people flocking to his website, sharing the story with everyone. Everyone wanted to know everything about Isak and Even, or Evak, as they were calling them online. People even went to Isak’s university to try and meet him. Even had to post on social media asking people to stop. He hadn’t realized just how much the world loved a love story, especially the story of the love between his two friends. He had been joking when he said he would like to watch a show about them, but maybe he had been onto something.

              If Isak was missing because he was linked to Even, that was Magnus’ fault. Isak had made his Instagram private before Even became big and Even wasn’t on social media. Magnus had convinced them to share their life with the world. Even if it was just small snippets that Magnus had shared, this was all on him.  

              “Why don’t we all just talk to Even,” Eva suggested.

              “He’s commandeered my room,” Noora said, obviously slightly annoyed about it. “But I’m not sure if Eskild will let us past.”

              Magnus kept quiet for a minute, weighing his options. If he was there, then he could know for sure. He wouldn’t have to directly ask, and he wouldn’t seem suspicious if other people were wondering. After a moment he said, “I told Even I would go see him tomorrow. I was going to take him for coffee to get him out of the house.”

              “We don’t want to ambush him,” Mahdi reasoned.

              “No,” Sana replied, “but we’re running out of time, so I don’t think we have a choice.”

              “Why don’t we throw him a party?” Chris chimed in. Everyone looked at her.

              Eva broke the circle of stares, “that may not be a bad idea. Not a party but like a get-together. To say we all care.”

              “I’ll talk to him,” Magnus said. He didn’t know if Even would want to see anyone right now, but it was worth a try. The police had nothing, so it was up to them.

Please don’t be my fault.

***

            They were still sitting in Mahdi’s shop two hours after they had decided to throw a get-together. Mahdi has put the closed sign on the shop, but Sana noticed that there hadn’t been any customers in all morning anyway. That was a blessing.

            The group had been trying to craft the perfect plan for talking to Even. No one really felt like party planning right now, but everyone wanted to have their voice heard on what this party should look like. Sana knew they all just wanted control of something, since the universe was making them all feel powerless.

            “Hey Sana! I think your phone is ringing?”

             Sana turned to Eva, whose hand was outstretched, holding Sana’s phone. It was Elias. Finally.

             Sana picked it up, determination and anger in her voice as she said, “Now you call me! What the hell, Elias?”

             “Hey, Sana, before you get mad, I really gotta tell you something. I think we just saw your friend.”

             “What friend?”

             “The ex-one. You know, Vilde.”

             “Wait,” Sana was trying to process. “I’m going to put you around speakerphone.” Sana set her phone down in the middle of the table so the whole group could hear. “Okay, what did you say?”

             “We saw Vilde,” Elias repeated. “But that’s not even the biggest thing we found. God, I don’t know how we’re going to tell Even but—”

             “Tell me what?” The group all turned to door to see none other than Even Bech Næsheim standing there with Eskild. Surprise. Just another way the universe was ruining their plans today.