#but as an Ashton fan I wanted more of how they're feeling than the usual 'Imogen Laudna and Orym are sad' stuff

[danwhobrowses]

So after four months, Bell's Hells are off the moon

0.5/5 Stars - Some of the locals were nice but activities were shit and needs new management.

But what's this? Aabria with a steel chair!? She's probably cackling looking at the socials right now

[cringefaecompilation]

Hey last anon back again…

I thought the whole essay was really well thought out and presented for sure! All the points you made hit home so I’m just going to expand on a few here for you:

There has always been that trend in fandoms to prop white male characters up on a pedestal and it’s never more apparent than when you compare a given fanbase’s reaction to a non-white man.

Because unfortunately the abysmal treatment of Marisha, Laura, and Ashley has become par for the course and having such a polarized reception to Bor’dor/Utkarsh especially was very stark for me. And were Dorian not the group’s “special little guy” to come in and bolster them after FCG’s death who knows what the reaction would have been.

The main cast are putting forth the effort to integrate a guest into the weekly table and making multiple demonstrative points to show that he is as much a part of Bells Hells as the rest of them. The least we can do as a fanbase is to engage with Dorian as his own person. And give Robbie the autonomy he deserves to make his story what he wants it to be.

oh boy, yeah. i saw the stark shift in fandom trend from "bor'dor, this man of color, is most comparable to a cute little puppy that follows around the rest of the white cast and doesn't bring too much attention to himself!" turn around to "he's an irredeemable demon! the evilest monster to ever walk upon the face of exandria and they should've desecrated his body after killing him!" instantly. shit was terrifying.

aaaaaaand since you brought it up i can add the bit i only alluded to in my post!

i mentioned the noble savage trope and how in some part it can contribute to men and boys of color being hypersexualized by white fans. and dorian, being the resident "hot boi" is usually only milled down to being... that. or people only talking about him when they're talking about him having sex with orym. or getting into arguments about how he should instead have sex with ashton. or dariax. because, of course, the only thing that matters is the romantic/sexual feelings of the white guy and getting their dick/pussy wet and not dorian's feelings.

now, robbie daymond cracking jokes about how hot dorian is and him wearing "slutty clothes" is different than that. again, he has the autonomy and he can damn well please talk about how hot his character is! his narrative telephone episode was about him playing a character who's sole personality trait was being sexy while the rest of his family was ugly! the same goes for the rest of the critical role cast who know him and only take the joke as far as robbie's comfortable with.

finding dorian attractive is not the problem. seeing him as only an object for a white character's (or a white audience's) sexual gratification is.

[th3houseofleaves]

misc. scenarios / scenes i have on the brain

for various ocs but mostly dove i think.

jason and dove at some underground punk show and dove is dragging him into the moshpit because they are having the time of their life and they want to feel all that energy and they want him with them for it. with him beside him it's the safest they've probably ever been when moshing because he's Tall and Big and he's keeping a close watch on them and as much as he can they've each got a hand on each other or they're pressed close to each other. they're staying as close as possible and dove is all lit up and yelling so they can be heard over the music and the crowd and they're telling him this is the best night ever.

the first time jason actually holds sparrow because sparrow seeks him out when he wanted to be picked up. he's kind of shocked but that's only after he picks him up without thinking much about it, like it's natural. sparrow pats his face and tells him thank you like jason did more than just pick him up because sparrow is already so much like dove. and when dove sees it? they've gotta take a minute to process bc they're so full of love in that moment they can't think of anything else. before he has any idea what's happening jason has both baeks holding onto him because dove comes up and hugs him nd they're just pleased as hell n sparrow is snuggled between the both of them. meanwhile jason is still kind of processing.

the day that dove accidentally revealed they were a meta / speedster to helena. and how they tried to recover and walk that back. bonus if they try talking about how it happened (they do not remember) because they'd try and use what they do remember + whatever pops into their head to come up with a rather ridiculous story behind it.

new oc ashton graves and the first time she used magic + found out about zatanna. & if she knew about it (bc idk how common knowledge it is) her being a bop fan. i think she'd think they were cool as hell too

even newer oc kit warren being the most annoying person alive /lh. basically him using his powers to annoy like. dick or. oliver queen. bc i decided that kit wakes up each day and chooses violence (making his existence everyone's, but specifically oliver's, problem). he's genuinely not that bad but he does enjoy messing around.

a grown up aeron vasilyev interacting with both their moms. (bio mom and the mom who would've raised them) that's pretty much it

evan faulkner trying to duck out at a function he's supposed to be throwing but people keep finding him. if he wasn't literally the host, nearing 30, and allegedly a people person (he doesn't know who started that rumor), he would find somewhere to hide, including under a table like he's six and hiding from his mom during a different event bc he's so bored. afterwards he tries to convince his assistant person (? it's complicated) that they shouldn't throw parties or anything like that ever again. they tell him no. he tries to quit. they tell him no.

logan toussaint and aeron and milan forcing (/lh) everyone to have a self care & family day at aeron's house. sam's doing lesson plans with a face mask on and his hair pushed back with a headband that logan bought for him specifically (it's bright green!). milan is sitting and painting noah's nails, noah has no idea what colors he chose either. milan is keeping that secret. thea, who also has a face mask, messing with aeron's hair while they ramble about whatever comes to mind. her hair is also done up in some legit french braids bc aeron? knows how for some reason.

the moment when levi faust realises all the ways their brother cares about them. like figuring out it's rory who cuts out or obscures nutrition labels or repackages food so there's no labels except for what the food is and the ingredients. or them realizing that if rory hands them that's usually in a wrapper (like candy) that he'll usually have it open already when he's passing it to them & he manages to take the wrapper before they look at it as they can actually enjoy their treat. or how rory will save their paper and put their laptop + phone on the charger and straighten things up when he finds them asleep in their homework.

also rory asking levi for help with his french homework bc he only knows so much and levi looking at him and saying that as much as it hurts them to say it, they have no idea how to rlly read in french or explain it. it's just their first language and they can speak it but they didn't learn more than that? bc all their school stuff was done in english and they only learned french at all bc that's all their dad would use around them and that's how they learned how to talk n stuff. but it was never a formal education. both of them stare at his homework confused. levi can help with very basic stuff. they hate that

[edge-oftheworld]

hey girl i saw your friends of friends post - do you think there's a chance maybe they're just being supportive of Palestine performatively now that everyone is on their ass about not speaking out sooner? i know you said 'they're on 5sos time' but isnt that kind of just excusing their poor effort up until now? it's taken so long for them to do anything supportive, Palestine's literally almost gone

:,(

love u just wanted to see your perspective!

hey anon! thanks for this lovely ask. i can't guess what's in their heads and i'm hesitant to either 1) assume the worst when there can be a million reasons someone doesn't get to something straight away, and I don't usually think well thought-through activism comes out best when it's immediately reactive, or 2) say that there's no possible way this is the case when we don't have evidence for that either. it could be the case!

however from what I've seen the kinds of things people have been on their asses about recently have been other things--like crushing watermelons or cancelling sierra or crystal or 'where is calum is he okay' or critiquing having any association with all time low or being mean about other things i don't really want to bring up on here. Like I guess that might've been there but I've honestly not seen a lot of it; I've been here for about a year now and the 5sos fandom still baffles me--like I realise it's probably just a small minority who are mean and kinda petty, but honestly I've not seen a heap of organised activism within the fandom and it has disappointed me a little--like yeah from their perspective they might be reading the comments on it and feeling the pressure from those, but honestly it's been so mixed up with stuff i can't imagine they want to read that I'm not sure that's the message the fandom is sending at all. I hope for the fandom's sake I'm wrong and it's just the negativity bias speaking.

I do also want to gently possibly push back on the idea that they haven't done anything supportive until now; yes they didn't involve friends of friends (i'm not sure why) or really outright say it (which I've got more opinions on, a mix of positive and negative in terms of why i think they chose to do it that way) but they did release an entire tour movie on youtube for us for free, and tell us to donate to help (in ashton's words) 'the children in gaza' with links in the caption--it's a more aussie style of activism for sure when it's less putting yourself on a platform (even if you already have it) to speak about something to try and get people to act, and more use the resources you have to make a practical difference, without being demanding of people or stressing them out with urgency. to me that was something that meant more than performative statements, but not everyone in the fandom agrees on that. all i'll say to it is 1) it was out of the blue and felt like they had kinda just discussed it and been like 'yeah we need to' the minute the tour movie was ready 2) it was back in december and 3) i think they underestimated how broke their fans are and also overestimated how many people would see the 'humanitarian aid' links below a video in the christmas break. i've rattled on about it, i'll always defend that particular action but everyone knows that, the decision to focus on the children and the downstream aid rather than the genocide itself was an interesting one (bound to appeal to the skeptics and more practical but in some ways a copout), but i'm also putting it here because it surprises me how many fans genuinely have no idea all of this happened because literally no one talked about it. I don't know if it's because we have an idea as a society how activism should be like or people genuinely don't know how to address more serious topics (again, no one seems to be talking about the friends of friends thing they're kicking off now either). brandy's been sharing information etc on palestine and evidence of the genocide since october, and michael wore that jumper thing that I forget the name of in what might have been cultural solidarity or a coincidence back on october 13th i think. again, it's not the same. brandy isn't actually in 5sos. decide what to make of these things for yourself.

i'll also add that in general from what i've seen, 5sos are usually not super swayed by fan pressure and more likely to get pissed off by it and become more unhinged as a result or turn it into a joke later (like with the soon saga). not to say that they don't feel it, I think they do, but are more determined to not let it take away from their authenticity than be led by it iykwim? having said that this is something i relate to a lot due to my neurodivergence so i could be very biased on this. I could be projecting. so i'm not sure!! i'm not sure what goes on in their heads. i'm not sure why this didn't come sooner, we can probably all agree it should've. but i do also want to say that i know it's not ideal but sometimes doing a good thing for less than pure reasons is still a good thing. it's just the timing that's obviously the pressing factor here, people are dying, and it's kinda insensitive to be talking about how disabling things like executive function and anxiety can be in activism--but this is another topic and aspect of it I think that not mentioning can sometimes cause an excess of blame to be placed on people who are doing good things that aren't good enough to fix what bad people are doing, rather than the bad people themselves. I know it's not that simple, I know there are systemic parts of complicity we can't really wash our hands of that easily but my point is things like neurodivergence and anxiety are by definition disabling and activism is not a sphere they don't touch. and i can't go and list headcanoned diagnoses for a band I listen to but I also can't in good conscience ignore that this could likely be a factor.

overall i feel like this is a mess of a post because i don't really know yet where the line is between holding people accountable (what even is enough in activism?) and letting them process the trauma we're watching unfold and turn that into action at their own pace. but i do want to say thank you so so much for engaging with what's been a topic that I don't think we're talking about enough but i do care about too. and if you've read this far down such a long post thank you as well, i really appreciate it!

[burr-ell]

Honestly, imodna would be a good ship if the shippers/stans weren’t so damn insufferable. I also hate how they act like they are already canon and you can’t ship Imogen or Laudna with anyone else in the group. People got so mad when the conversation in the dust storm happened with Ashton and Laudna because people thought they were flirting. Or when on the first episode of 4 sided dive Marisha asked Robbie if Dorian’s crush was on Imogen, people got so mad at that! I also hate that they call them lesbians when THEY HAVE BOTH EXPRESSED HAVING FEELINGS FOR BOYS! Why can’t they be bi? Or Pan? I also hate how people read into Laura’s micro expressions/ movements, like last episode with the whole leaning shit “oh what was that lean Laura?!! Imogen wanted to kiss Laudna because look at Laura’s lean!” I dread the day that Imogen or Laudna fall in love with someone that’s not each other(especially if that person is a man.) because Marisha and Laura will harassed and hated because they didn’t give the people what they wanted.

oof. that's some frustration you really needed to vent, nonnie, and honestly i get it. full disclosure—my mutuals who are into imo/dna are all lovely, and none of them engage in this behavior. if imo/dna becomes canon, i'll be happy for (and potentially even happy with) fans like that. but enough shippers are doing things like this that it's becoming more and more of a source of frustration and friction as the campaign goes on.

i think a lot of fandom—in general, not just cr—still doesn't want to acknowledge that at the end of the day, they are looking at things like shippers, with a particular kind of confirmation bias. it doesn't make them necessarily wrong or right, but as easy as it can be to get swept up in it, i think it's important to take a step back every once in awhile and re-evaluate.

now admittedly, generally speaking, it takes a lot for me to get really invested in a ship; i usually only have one or two per fandom, even fandoms with tons of characters. i'm generally pretty passive about most ships if it's not the otp; like, vax/leth and pike/lan, for example, didn't need to be romantic endgame for me to enjoy CR1 (and honestly might have been more interesting to me if they hadn't), but perc/ahlia absolutely made the show for me and i honestly think them being together actively strengthens the narrative as a whole.

i say all that to say that for the most part, i very much consider myself to be along for the ride with respect to most relationships in most fandoms. if such-and-such pairing happens, great; if they don't, okay. and with CR in particular, it's such a long-form medium that i know going in that any romance is going to take a while, and most of them probably won't just reach out and grab me.

and as such, it absolutely baffles me to have seen shippers insisting, from the moment the characters first appeared in episode 1, that not only are imogen and laudna canon endgame, they're basically already together and just haven't admitted it yet. i feel this way about dor/ym and callow/moore as well—i saw a post making the rounds that claimed that all three of those ships are "not canon YET but let's be real" and like...why would you set yourself up for disappointment like that? because yeah! all three of those ships could be endgame! but they could also not be endgame. we're less than 40 episodes into a campaign that'll probably run well into the 100s.

i also fully agree with you re: the microexpressions and the cherrypicking, and i feel like a microcosm of this issue can be found in a conversation imogen has with orym early on—shippers latched onto the fact that imogen compares laudna's thoughts to music, something that finally brought her peace after the chaos of the world around her, and completely ignored the part immediately after where imogen says that the rest of the party also feels like that to her. i didn't even know that imogen said that about the whole party until i watched the episode, and to me it's an example of how shippers tend to warp canon interactions to suit a particular narrative in such a way that they become almost entirely divorced from their context.

and from the outside looking in, what confuses me about this sort of thing is like...didn't y'all already go through this? because if my understanding is correct, c2 ship discourse was full to the brim with beau/jes and wido/jest fans dissecting "laura's microexpressions" to prove that jester was for sure in love with our fave, really you guys we swear...and then not only was that not true, but jester also didn't even know about beau or caleb's feelings to acknowledge them at all, and from the actual words that came out of laura's mouth in various OOC moments like on TM, laura just...really really wanted to romance her husband's character in her dnd game and like, that's it. there was never going to be another romantic option for jester as long as fjord was on the table, and that was something that shippers always should have been taking into account.

laudna and imogen are canonically deeply important to each other. they love and appreciate each other very much. that love and appreciation could turn into a lovely romance with a great dynamic, and i certainly don't blame people for being invested in it. but it also could not be romantic endgame, and they remain friends or even get with other people. and as you said, fandom can and will turn nasty about their ships being sunk; we've already seen it happen. there's a certain smug, entitled undercurrent from that particular corner that i have very little patience with, and while i think there's something to be said for deciding to enjoy things in spite of the fandom and just be a cranky old curmudgeon shooing the wank out with a broom, i also understand the response of just "...aight, imma head out".

[myth-carver]

Brief thoughts on c3e1 and the new folks........

Overall: Eh, it was okay. CR has a winning formula with their style of actual play, they're almost always a joy to watch onscreen and that was no different last night, but I came away feeling more like I was watching a oneshot or another ep of ExU rather than the new Critical Role campaign proper. Not super into the new cast and very disappointed that literally half the table is reused people we've seen before -- I enjoyed ExU's cast but that was sold as a separate thing and seeing them here is jarring, especially absent the rest of the Crown Keepers. Between reused characters, all the new permanent changes to the format, not even being 100% certain who in this cast is going to stay or later go at this point... It just kinda feels weird :/ But I'm excited for the Marquet setting and it took me a really long time to warm up to the c2 cast too, and it's early days yet. So I'm willing to have my mind changed, and fortunately for me, I'm more a fan of the cast themselves than any particular characters they've played anyhow. Taking a wait and see approach overall.

Imogen: She seems sweet, I love her character design, I'm very partial to purple hair lmao. Other than that I don't find her that interesting so far but Laura is a good RPer so she'll probably be fun to watch. Maybe she'll be able to join Orym in stewarding the group's brain cell lol.

Laudna: Marisha's doing an accent??????? She sounds amazing and I love the performance. Laudna certainly has a lot of intriguing stuff going on, I enjoy a character with mysteries to dig into. She doesn't inspire me fannishly but I'll look forward to finding out what her deal is. I'm ngl I'm super disappointed that all three of our girls this time are really femme though.

Ashton: Kintsugi earth genasi is an absolutely inspired concept that I hope Taliesin patted himself on the back for a lot because he Earned It. That said, aggressive punk with anger/authority issues is a trope I find super super annoying and he's already rubbing me the wrong way constantly :/ I hate that I'm just not into the only human-adjacent nonbinary character on the main cast, it really sucks. It's also driving me crazy how much the colors of his costume intensely do not match his green and purple and gold body even slightly lmao, it's really unpleasant to look at.

FCG: This is now an FCG hate blog, lol not really but holy shit I hate this character so much, Mr. Riegel I'm literally already tired of your joke character after less than 1 episode idk how I'm going to endure a whole campaign of them. Liam why would you do this to us 😩 a lot of people seem to love them a lot so lmao I'm anticipating for me this is going to be a Caduceus situation where my resentment of the character increases due to never being able to get away from posts about him. I don't want any more robots on my fantasy show, if I wanted robots I'd go watch an actual play of a sci-fi tabletop game instead...

Orym: Best boy from ExU returns, which is cool since I super wanted to know more about him in ExU, but wow does it suck they decided to actively make ExU a worse show by not going into half the cast's backgrounds and leaving it literally an incomplete story to accommodate bringing these cast members into c3. If that was the whole purpose of ExU why not just announce that instead of being coy like this??? The way ExU ended left a really bad taste in my mouth and honestly dampened my interest in seeing more of these characters. That said though, my love for Orym at least somewhat remains and Liam is usually the cast member whose character taste matches my own the most, I look forward to seeing where he takes Orym in the future. Also, if our speculation about his OOC origins during ExU turn out correct, cool to have the first gay male character on the main cast.

Dorian: Other best boy from ExU and a surprise appearance by Robbie! All three of the ExU folks I thought meshed with the CR style amazingly and it's fun to get to see him again. Very curious what dirt FCG apparently seems to have on him. And I wonder when we finally get to learn his real name... 👀

Fearne: I overall don't like Ashley's RP, which I know is ironic because I love Yasha so much lmao. But I feel like Fearne is, of everyone Ashley's played on stream, the character that seems to most match with her personal style and comes most naturally to her, it's fun to see her RP with such confidence. She's really good at invoking the fey vibe, both the sweetness and comedy and the undertone of menace. That said, Fearne's general behavior hammers my secondhand embarrassment squick absolutely like crazy lmao and it's going to be rough to have to watch that for an extended period, I find her frequently almost painful to watch tbh. I'm excited that a fey in the main cast means we'll be seeing Feywild stuff though!!! Maybe even my eladrin warlock's old patron Lady Elmenore 👀

Bertrand: Sorry man I didn't care about you in the oneshots and I still don't lmao, too obnoxious for me. It heavily seems like he's here as a guest though -- I just hope this doesn't herald something weird like Travis finishing his appearance and then bowing out of the cast, please bring a second character when you're done being an NPC Travis don't go away :(

[halcyonnhood]

Ramen, Baking and Glitter || l.h

Summary: Luke realizes he loves his best friend while on tour and confronts the feelings when he sees her again.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: possibly a few curse words.

Authors note: The italics are Luke's memories of her! After the asterisks (***) is when they're back in LA and in present tense. I hope the format looks okay, I typed this out on my phone. Also the OC is very special to me (more about that in the tags.) I may write more about her and Luke.

- - -

The band 5 seconds of summer have travelled thousands of miles over the years. They've explored new countries, cities, and towns. They've met new fans, friends, and probably too many flirty humans. Luke enjoys every last bit of it, he thrives on the attention. Yet, no amount of love from fans manages to take his mind off one of his best friends waiting back in LA for him. Everything happens to remind him of Sarah.

When the boys stayed in Japan, Michael had demanded to stop for ‘proper’ ramen before they left the country. Of course, no one had the heart to deny him his love for traditional Japanese food. The four of them had been bantering and talking about plans when the longing had struck Luke. He was mid bite of his chicken ramen and all he can remember is the silly heated debate he and Sarah had before the tour.

Sarah tosses the bright orange bag back at Luke and scrunched her nose in disgust. She hadn't eaten all day and upon arriving at Luke's house, she decided she wanted to fix something easy. So naturally, she rummaged through his cabinets and made Luke reach the ramen shoved on the top shelf. When he handed the orange bag to her with “chicken flavored” printed across the top, she felt like she was going to have a brain hemorrhage. Now she just stares up at the top shelf in disappointment, as if red bags would magically appear instead.

“I want ramen.” Sarah tells him with pouted lips.

“You just threw the ramen at me,” Luke says. He points at the bag on the counter.

“Yeah, because that's disgusting.” She makes sure to enunciate the word disgusting. “It's chicken.”

“What do you have against chicken ramen? You like chicken, we literally just had some last night.” Luke questions.

“Ya, we had grilled chicken. It's the flavoring in the ramen, it's weird.”

“What kind do you like then?”

“Beef.” Sarah says. She gives him a playful smile when he rolls his eyes at her, “It is the only acceptable ramen.”

“It is not!” He argues. “You're just wrong, you monster. Chicken is a classic,”

She fake gags, “I have taste buds, you giant oaf. Now we have to go to the store because you're wrong.”

Luke spent the rest of the Japan trip thinking about Sarah. He thought about how much he missed her randomly dropping by his house and pretending she owned it. He thought about how she would've really enjoyed eating traditional ramen instead of the instant kind, she would never want to leave the foreign country. Lastly, he made a mental note to buy the girl all the beef ramen she could ever want and to find a restaurant that serves the real stuff. He knows something so small would make her whole day and he just wants her to smile.  

Japan isn't the only time Luke is reminded of the strong willed girl. They had met a fan in Munich who looked uncannily like Sarah and he hadn't been the only one who noticed. If Luke's being honest, he hadn't been paying much attention to the girl at first. She had won some radio station competition and the whole band had greeted her at once before she turned to talk to Michael first. He had taken more of a notice to her after catching Michael's not so subtle glance at the boys and the first thing he had connected was the hair. The fan had her hair honey blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, so what? It wasn't uncommon to see the almost brown hair color and the style was popular. It's not like he hadn't seen it on anyone other than Sarah, he had. It was just such a common sight around his household that he automatically associated it with her.

When the fan had made it to him and pulled away from the hug, Luke felt bad for not paying attention to anything she said. He wanted to, but he was captivated by how she could be a perfect doppelganger. Dark olive green eyes, freckles spotted across flushed cheeks, and a small button nose. All things that looked eerily similar and one look at the boys showed that they had seen it too.

“Holy shit,” Michael said as soon as she had left “That kid looked exactly like Sarah,”

“It's weird,” Calum added. “I mean, all of the features just matched,”

Ashton had chuckled at their surprise, “They do say everyone has lookalikes,”

“Still so weird, especially after not seeing Sarah in months.” Luke said with a shrug. He tried not to think about it too hard.

Three different shows went by without Luke being reminded of her. He thinks it's because he made more of an effort to facetime her at the end of his nights and fulfill his longing to talk to her. When they stop in Paris, he's proven wrong. Luke wishes he could be cheesy and say it's because he realized he was in love with her while in the city of love. Except he realized his love was more than platonic weeks ago.

Ashton had suggested that they go somewhere local for breakfast. So, the duo set out on an adventure for the best place that served breakfast. They ended up in a bakery, ordering an abundance of baked goods and iced coffee. The savory scent of bread mingling with the sweet scent of pastries and cookies reminded him of none other than the girl that he may or may not be in love with. More often than not, she'd spend her extra time using new recipes to bake cookies, cake, and bread. Most of the time she subjected the boys to taste testing, but none of them seemed to mind. There would be days that Calum would be sad to come over to Luke's and find no treats. It was even sadder on recording days when she couldn't make it to the studio to visit and drop off her baked goods. The best days were always when she stopped by.

“Booooys,” Sarah sing songs, “I made some cookies!”  

She sits the plate covered with aluminum foil on the desk and sits next to Michael on the couch. Ashton's listening to the producer play back their latest song while both Luke and Calum are diving for the plate to see who gets a cookie first. The sight just reminds her of how childish they can both be and it makes her laugh.

"What kind are they today?” Michael asks.

Luke sits back and looks at the cookie in his hand while waiting for her to respond with her normal rambles about the recipe. Usually she'll tell them all about how the website lied about the amount of butter or come up with an excuse to why ‘the first batch is bad’. He has to admit that he loves hearing her get so passionate over her baking skills.

“I made two. Can you believe it? TWO!” Sarah excitedly tells him. “I made salted caramel and raspberry with white chocolate chips. AND the caramel is homemade!”

"Wait, you know how to make caramel? This is so good” Calum says while waving around the half eaten cookie.  

"It's so easy, it's just cream, sugar, and butter. But it burns if you don't take it off the heat fast enough. I may have ruined a pan,” She explains the last part timidly.

Some time during her explaining how to make caramel, Ashton had also grabbed one of the cookies. He just shakes his head at the girl with a chuckle, “Sarah, you'd be a good baker if you didn't burn everything,”

"Says the man who is on his second cookie,” Sarah says with a glare.

"This is the third time you've burnt something,”

“I'm betting that other bakers have burnt things before!” She argues.

The other three stay quiet as the two go at it, both of them living for the argument. For a minute, Luke thinks that Ashton is enjoying it too much. That is until Sarah's expression softens from the furrowed brow to a relaxed and playful one instead. Sometimes he thinks they're both too argumentative and honest for their own good, but it always ends in good fun. He could never understand why they actually enjoyed arguing and often times egged each other on, but as long as no one ends up in tears, everyone let's them hash it out.

“The cookies are really good, Sarah.” Luke tells her honestly. His insides feel melty and gooey as her eyes light up at the compliment.

"Thank you, Luke!” She thanks him in an overly sweet tone, “You know how to be a GOOD best friend. That's why I love you,”

It's possible that Luke had fallen hopelessly in love, not that he'd admit it. He had spent the entire world tour consumed with thoughts about Sarah, always seeking out bits and pieces of her in every place they visited. He even associated her with ramen out of all things. Ramen. He knew he'd have to deal with the conflicting emotions eventually, but he still opted to push them away to have a clear head for the rest of tour. A mostly clear head. All he knew was that it was a future Luke problem.

*  * *

“Are you really bringing up the brownies I made in 2017?”

“They were MEMORABLE! Gosh, I remember how bitter they were. It feels like it happened yesterday,”

“Cocoa powder is bitter, you little shit!”

The argument can be heard throughout the hallway leading up to the dressing rooms in the Forum. Luke hadn't been expecting to hear the bright voice until later tonight, so naturally when he hears her, it makes his heart soar. Her words towards Ashton sounds harsh, but he can hear the playful hints in her tone. He isn't even to the door and can already visualize her darkened blonde hair falling past her shoulders, her usual makeup, and a smile tugging at her pink lips. He feels like he might explode with excitement.

Luke is right. He leans against the doorframe and watches two of his favorite people argue. She has half of her hair pulled back in a ponytail, purple glitter tapped onto her cheekbones, and the light catches on her shiny lip gloss. Neither of them acknowledge his presence, but Michael gives him a knowing grin from one of the chairs. He doesn't mind, he's just happy to see her again and admittedly he missed their playful fights. It gives him time to think about how he'd admit his love.

Girls are usually the ones to secretly fall in love with their best friends, at least that's how it's always portrayed in shows. Is it weird for guys to do that? Luke isn't sure how he's supposed to tell her, should there be some grand gesture? Just be straight up with no frilly things? He should've bought her flowers on the way here from their last promo video. He just wants her to feel appreciated whether or not she holds the same feelings towards him.

Luke is brought out of his daze by a smaller body colliding with his and warm arms wrapping around his midsection. He envelopes the smaller girl in his arms and gives her the tight squeeze that he's been waiting months for. She pulls back and he smooths down her frizzy hair with a small smile.

“I missed you so much, Luke.” Sarah smiles brightly up at him. The sight is enough to turn his heart to mush.

He just returns the warm smile, “I missed you more,”

“Now that you're here,’ Sarah turns around dramatically and points a manicured finger at Ashton before continuing, “You can protect me from bullies!”

“What's he bullying you bout’ this time?”

“My brownies! He can never be nice to me. I slaved all night for y'all and he brings up the disaster of 2017. I'm so much better now.” Sarah huffs.

She snatches the Tupperware bowl off of Ashtons lap and twirls around to push it into Luke's hands instead. He takes one out and savors the first bite, Sarah watching his every move for a reaction. She isn't wrong, it's much better than the first time when she forgot to add enough sugar. When he makes a noise of appreciation for the sweet treat, her face lights up and she sticks her tongue out at Ashton with a laugh. Luke swears that he could watch her soft features all evening, but he could settle for a bit of time before the concert. The last concert of the tour. Then he could spend the rest of his days talking to and watching her when she visits.

Sarah points her nose up in a mocking way, “See, Luke agrees that they are good brownies. I'm right. Now if you excuse us, I've got to paint Luke's nails!” .

“Luke's opinion doesn't mean you're right,” Ashton tuts.

"It does too! Accept defeat, Ash.” She calls out while dragging Luke out of the room with her.

Luke almost forgot that he had texted asking her to repaint his nails. Between potentially obsessive thoughts, promo, concerts, and trying to be a real tourist; Luke hadn't found the time to find someone to keep up with his nails. He definitely wants them done for the show, so he doesn't complain about their abrupt departure from the boys. Sarah leads him a few rooms down to one of the unoccupied dressing rooms and points at the lineup of polish bottles on the makeup desk.

"I didn't know what color you wanted this time, so I bought nearly half of my collection with me,” She says.

"You didn't have to bring all this, Sarah. You could've just picked one for me,”

“I wanted to have a choice! I think you should pick something new though. No black or red.”

“You're really going to do that to me?” Luke asks in mock distress.

It makes Sarah let out a giggle and roll her eyes, “I'm so horrible, I know.”

It only takes Luke a moment to narrow down which colors he liked best. He really wanted the sparkly red, but he couldn't ignore her opinion when he valued it so much. She wants something different, so he hands her the pastel  pink polish and gives her a sheepish glance. She doesn't react badly though, she just gives him a wide smile with her pretty lips and motions for him to sit in the chair.

Sarah gets to work with painting his nails, making precise strokes to avoid a mess of polish. He admires the patience and steadiness required to do such a simple task, because the last time he tried it looked like a toddlers handy work. After watching three nails being covered in pink, he turns his attention back to taking in her features. Her brows dip down into a tiny furrow as she concentrates and he notices the new freckles dotted around her forehead and nose. He figures that she must've been in the sun recently, he's always known that the spots darken with exposure to sunlight. He likes how it just adds more depth to her complexion.

Luke also enjoys the glitter. She tends to save the bold look for festivals and he wants to tease her about how their show must be important. He just finds himself fascinated by how it looks on her and how it instantly brightens all of her features. Of course he wouldn't tease her about it when he thinks she looks so effortlessly pretty. Although the thought of him being the reason for her flushed cheeks is tempting enough.

When Sarah sets the closed bottle back onto the desk, Luke notices her makeup sitting neatly in the corner, probably so she can freshen up throughout the night. He wonders if the glitter would have the same effect on him. Plus, he just wants her close to him.

“What's going on in that brain of yours?” Sarah waves a hand in front of his face.

“I was just thinking,”

She purses her lips at him, “No shit, sherlock. Elaborate,”

"You know how you do your makeup? I was thinking about if I'd look good in it and if the fans would like it” Luke tells her honestly.

“The fans would love it, lu. And we'd be matching!” She gushes. He can tell she's already visualizing the look on him.

"Can you do mine too then?”

"I don't think you could afford my services,” She answers, while already reaching for her makeup.

There's more steps to the makeup look than Luke had originally anticipated. She explains each and every step to him and somehow listening to her explain bb cream ends up being the softest thing in the world. She promised that it'd only even out the redness and he does like how natural he looks. After contouring and adding blush, she finally moves onto his eyeshadow and glitter. He catches a glance at himself in the mirror as she pulls back his hair into a half ponytail and he likes how pretty he looks. The glitter looks nice on him and he matches Sarah perfectly.

Sarah pulls out the gloss wand with a ‘pop' sound and smiles at the man, “One last thing.”

"Thank you. I almost look as pretty as you,” He tells her. He likes how her face flushes a darker pink at his compliment.

"Oh, stop that. You could rock it better than me any day,”

Luke studies Sarah's expression for a moment while she puts her makeup away and he's never wanted to kiss someone more. He's spent months away and he's been consumed by his newfound romantic love for her. Now that she's in front of him again, he wants to kiss her and take her out for authentic beef ramen like he had planned. He wants to watch her bake and compliment all of her new recipes. He wants to hold her tight and never leave her again. He's just afraid that she'll never see him as anything other than a friend. He'd accept any love over none at all, but he'll never know the difference until he tries.

"Sarah, can I be honest with you?” Luke questions.

She looks up at him with wide eyes, “Always. What's up?”

"I think I love you,” Luke tells her carefully. “Tour gave me a lot of time to think about how I feel about you.”

"Romantically?” Sarah looks at him in awe and points at herself, “Me?”

"Yes, you.”

“I'm really not sure what to say in this situation,”

"You don't have to say anything,” Luke rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, “We can just pretend this never happened.”

"No, I mean…I think I like you too. It's just that you're my best friend and you were gone. So I don't know how I really feel? It's easy to think one thing without the person around. Now you're here and what if I just missed you?”

"We can always wait to talk about this,” He assures her, “I was just going to ask you to go on a date with me after the show,”

She gives him a lopsided smile, “What kind of date?”

“I figured I'd ask you to a Japanese restaurant, but no weird seafood since you hate that. I thought you'd like some traditional ramen. We had it in Japan and it reminded me of you.”

"The real stuff? Michael talks about how good it is all the time!”

Luke smiles at her reaction, “Would you like to go with me?”

"You know what? Yes! It'll be fun.”

The boys are finishing up last second preparations backstage when Sarah joins them. Michael and Calum are talking with each other and she doesn't see Ashton with them yet, so she takes it as a chance to talk to Luke. He's fidgeting with his in-ear monitors when he notices her walking up to him, a sneaky expression across her features.

"Being a troublemaker?” Luke raises an eyebrow at her.

"You know it! I just took a break to wish you luck,”

"I always need that,” He chuckles.

The stage managers are rushing around and one speeds by calling out that they'll be on in one minute. Luke gives her a frown, sad to leave in the middle of a conversation. Sarah on the other hand just smiles instead and motions for him to lean down. When the tall boy does, she stands on her toes and places a soft kiss against his lips. His blue eyes widened at the unexpected kiss, but softened after the initial shock. She pulls her lip gloss out and touches up his gloss that she had messed up, not wanting to ruin his look. Luke didn't expect Sarah to make the first move, yet he's the one blushing.

“I-” He starts.

Sarah doesn't let him get a word in edgewise and pushes him lightly towards their other three friends, “I think you're going on now,”

"You look pretty. I'll see you after!” She adds again with a smile at the shocked man.

Luke is definitely in love with her, there's not a single doubt in his mind. All he can think about through the concert is the fact that he's never been so excited for noodles in his entire life. Noodles and his favorite girl.