#but apparently it's just. about fucking area 51

[boyapologist]

I just learned that when phoebe bridgers says "big bolts of lightening hanging low over the coast, everyone's convinced is a government drone or alien spaceship" in the end is here, it isn't about the brown mountain lights. I'm upset

[lostdreamr-blog1]

Outrun the Future - G.Cleven

New fic is here! Updates to come. Let me know what you think! Tag list and inbox are always open for you :)

Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5

CH 1

Major John “Bucky” Egan was called into Col. Chick Harding’s office for a meeting that was being held far too early in the morning. It wasn’t news to anyone that if they didn’t have a mission to fly the next day the entire 100th bomb group was out drinking late into the night. Which is why Bucky was sporting a pretty nice hangover, trying his hardest to make it seem like he was paying attention.

“I don’t know if you are aware of the air raids that have been happening across England, but a few airfields have taken a hit.” Bucky heard the words coming out of his CO’s mouth but wasn’t understanding why he needed to hear them. Until he said, “One of the bases nearby was hit hard, forcing the fighter pilots to retreat and regroup. Our base is big enough to house some of them and their planes until that base or another is back up and running. I expect nothing but welcoming from you all when they get in this afternoon. We may fly different planes, but we all have the same goal. Am I understood?”

The Major nodded his head and was dismissed shortly after. With news like this he needed to let his boys know. It wasn’t every day that fighter pilots and bombers would be bunkmates. Looking at his watch, he knew most of the guys would be down at the mess hall eating breakfast, getting ready for whatever the day might bring.

He was soon proved right as he walked in and saw his best friend Major Gale “Buck” Cleven sitting with a group of pilots. “You will never guess what I was just told?” Bucky sat down in between Buck and Biddick, catching the attention from the table.

“The war is over, and we get to go home?” Biddick smirked as DeMarco scoffed. “I haven’t flown enough missions for this war to be over. How am I supposed to have ladies fallin’ all over me when I bring back zero medals or scars?” A few chuckles were thrown his way as Bucky shook his head. “I wish it was that easy. No, apparently an air raid took out a fighter base nearby and now our B-17’s gets to share a runway with P-51’s. I was told to play nice.” One of the guys asked when they would be here. “Sometime today. Harding wasn’t specific with the time.”

Buck chuckled, “Wasn’t specific or you weren’t listening?” The brunette waved a hand, “Doesn’t matter.”  

***

Afternoon roll around and the boys couldn’t keep the smiles off their faces as the P-51’s started landing. While they heard stories of the work they do and see them every now and then on missions providing air support, this was a new experience. Many felt like kids seeing a new toy for the first time.

The group wasn’t a large one, about ten pilots altogether, but they looked fierce as a group. The base was able to accommodate some of the fighters, but the original group had to be split up between different bases, only to meet back together for missions. It was the quickest solution the higher ups could come up with.

The two Major’s drove up to the runway as the last of the planes landed. “We know anything about them?” Buck asked his friend as he assessed the different pilots getting out.

“Nah. Probably cocky sons of bitches though. You know how fighter pilots can get.” Buck chuckled, “Cockier than you?”

Bucky shook his head and smirked, “They only wish.” His attention was pulled back to the runway as he heard someone ask if one of the pilots was a girl. Clearly, he had to be seeing things as one of the pilots was walking his way, dark brown hair pulled back into a braid. Since when did the US Military let women fly planes into the most dangerous area on the planet?

Buck let out a low whistle, “Wasn’t expecting that.” Neither of them could take their eyes off the girl as she was joking with one of her fellow fighter pilots. It wasn’t until Bucky heard her laugh that his blood ran cold. “I’m going to fucking kill her.”

Buck whipped his head over to his friend as he heard those words. “Easy now. You don’t even know her.” Concern was quickly replaced with confusion as he saw how tense the brown-haired Major was.

“Oh, I can do whatever the hell I want. Because that pilot right there is my damn sister.” Buck was frozen in place as John Egan stormed off towards the girl, putting him a few steps behind. Many thoughts were running through his head, but one pushed its way to the front. If his sister was anything like him, a fight was surely about to breakout.

Captain Marlene “Marley” Egan knew who resided at this base, making her nerves spike as soon as she landed. You see, she never liked being left out or left behind growing up. Being a few years younger than John, she always found herself chasing after him in order to be included with whatever he was doing. This unfortunate trait led her to enlist and slowly breakdown barriers in order to become a pilot like her older brother. Egan’s don’t back down from a fight which is how she forced her way into this war.

All the confidence went out the window as she saw her brother heading right for her. “Do me a favor and make sure you send my stuff back home to Ma. But let her know it wasn’t the war that killed me.” Captain James “Sparks” Sutton was walking next to her and knew exactly what she was referring to. They were warned ahead of time that the air exec. of Thorpe Abbotts was no other than Major Egan who had zero idea his little sister followed him into the war. She thought surprising him was the best way about it.

“What in god’s name are you doing here, Marlene?” If steam could physically come out of people’s ears, Marley knew her brother would have it.

The words, “I heard Europe was beautiful this time of year” slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it and knew it was the farthest thing she should’ve said. Sparks tried to cover up a laugh with a cough but was unsuccessful and earned an elbow to the side from the female pilot.

Bucky opened his mouth just to close it, as he figured out what to say. At this moment he was struggling with being a Major or big brother, thus causing a delay in his response. Buck, on the other hand, was finding the whole situation amusing. It was clear as day that the two pilots were siblings from their looks all the way to the witty remarks. He knew his friend was going to be arguing with a younger version of himself. And he couldn’t wait to see it.

“You have five seconds to think of a better answer before I pull whatever strings I need to in order to get you sent back home.” His words were calm, but Marley knew if she didn’t comply that he would lose it on her in the middle of an air strip. At least this way there would be witnesses.

“You didn’t think you could leave me behind, could you? Your letters made it seem like you were going to be making a difference in this war and I wanted to be a part of that. And here I thought you would be happy to see me.” She looked down as she said the last part, knowing what heartstrings to pull on. John Egan may act like the big bad brother, but his one weakness was standing in front of him.

Which is why it didn’t take long for him to fold. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I am glad to see you, but this is a damn war zone, Mar. This isn’t some game. What the hell am I supposed to tell Ma if something happens to you?” He didn’t miss the slight wince at the mention of the two’s mother.

“Ma knows you’re here, right?” Marley bit her bottom lip as she contemplated how to answer. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know her daughter was aiding in the war. Just the job title might be different.

“Yeah, she knows I’m here.” It didn’t take a genius to know there was more to that. Bucky squinted at her, trying to understand. “What does she think you’re doing?” He knew he asked the right question as she turned her head to focus on the planes.

“She might think I’m a nurse.” Bucky let out a sigh and surprised his sister as he pulled her in for a hug.

“It’s damn good to see you, Mar. But you know she’s going to pissed at us both.” They pulled apart and Marley nodded her head with a smile, “It was always more fun dragging you into trouble with me.” Her brother lightly pushed her shoulder, causing her to bump into the other fighter pilot.

“Now that all of that is out of the way, this is Sparky. He went through flight school with me. Sparks this is my brother John.” The fighter pilot held out a hand for the brother. “Captain James Sutton. May I be the first to say that your sister is a damn handful. Never knew someone to stir up as much trouble as this one.”

Bucky chuckled, “Looks like nothing has changed then.” He looked over his shoulder and motioned for his best friend. “This is Buck. Started it all together in the beginning and hasn’t been able to shake me since. Buck this is my baby sister Marlene.”

Buck held out his hand for the girl and she gladly took it. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” Her face pulled into a look of disgust. “Marley is fine. No need with that ma’am shit.” A small smile formed on his face as. “My mistake, Marley.”

He watched as her head tilted to the side, looking like she was trying to think of something. Her fingers snapped as she got it and said, “You know, he looks an awful like our friend Buck back in Wisconsin.” This time he laughed. The two Egan siblings in one place was going to be nothing short of trouble.

A/N: Thoughts? Likes or dislikes? Thank you for reading!

[subbytcklslut]

November Tickle Session Commentary

Well, here are my running thoughts as I watch my first session... from November with @dca101 I'm tagging him here so he can get my various fucking rambles from this 🥵😜

Check out this post if you want to have a written account

16 seconds in; Aaand I'm immeditely blushing hearing him talk as he starts tickling my feet.

1 min 40 secs; I just hid behind my hands seeing him lean in and tickle my armpits. I was already giggling in the video before he even touched them.

2 min 8 secs; Blushing again at the slight moan and arch from his lightly running his fingers up my thigh before sudden squeezy tickle attack.

2 mins 55 secs; A squeak left my lips seeing him lickle and bite my damn knees! How the fuck can I NOT blush after seeing this happen again! Fuck 🫣

4 mins 9 secs; I swear to god I'm going to be feeling fucking phantom tickles from watching this-- STILL hiding behind my fucking hands I might add.

4 mins 44 secs; turns out I'm still mostly mouthy as fuck when being tickled. Will I ever learn my lesson? 😅

6 mins 13 secs; and there we go. BEYOND RED IN THE FACE AS HE MAKES ME ADMIT TO BEING A "TICKLISH TOY"

8 mins 7 secs; How the actual hell did I forget about the vibrating feather???? 😯🪶

8 mins 55 secs; Okay sure, I admitted AGAIN and did he stop??? NO, thats just mean. Still grinning like a fool ear to ear as I watch this.

10 mins 39 secs; Some desperation has started to set in.

11 mins 35 secs; FUCK I'M FLUSTERED!!!!!! He's so damn teasy over messages and calls, but its a whole new lever of torture when he did it in person

12 mins 12 secs; the fucking butterflies I got hearing my own moans echoed back at me. Fuuuccccck.

15 mins 21 secs; Definitely feel like I'm living up to my blog name y'all. 🥵🤣

18 mins 10 secs; Seriously, HOW did I forget about the deviousness of the vibrating feather?!?!

19 mins 40 secs; He was barely using the grooming gloves already had like three ' fucks' leave my mouth from them on my feet- WITHOUT BABY OIL

20 mins 35 secs; The fucking laughs and shivers from those gloves used on my armpits-- how in the actual fuck did I forget how bad that was?!?!?! Please get me there again

26 mins 51 secs; that fucking toothbrush attachment made me duck behind my hands just now as it was reintroduced to my tied feet

28 mins 26 secs; My toes are so fucking scrunched watching him focus on my toes with that Pursonic. Holy hell

32 mins and 32 secs; I don't know my place??? My man, it is tied down and fucking wrecked at your fingertips and toys apparently 👀

34 mins 34 secs; Hello baby oil. I'm never going to be able to look at you without a toe wiggle again

37 mins 57 secs; baby oil + grooming gloves= crazy fucking mean tickles and me thrashing off the bed

47 mins 10 secs; we've migrated to 'let's see how needy we can make S with some fun tickle teasing to specific areas"

50 mins 35 secs; yup back to oil and brush torture to my poor feet while being made to admit I'm a tickle toy.

53 mins 27 secs; I can't help but grin seeing everything he put me through and how much I fucking enjoyed it.

54 mins 35 secs; the titular 'exorcism off the bed' still from when he touched the pursonic to my pussy through my panties. fuuucccckkk

55 mins 8 secs; Pleasurable agony. He's told me he'd do it and he fucking delivered it in that moment. Oh my gods I'm fucking red in the face

My final thoughts.

I can see how fucking great it is to have recordings of sessions. That was amazing, and that was just the tied down portion. That whole night will forever live in my head. I'm now a blushing and squirming wet mess from reliving my tickle torment through a screen. I adored every second of it and I can't wait until our next upcoming sessions!!!

[sevi007]

Tales of the Abyss part 51

Now, let's hear what Van got to say!

Oh Luke...

Alright, I'm afraid part of Luke still has not really grasped that the man he trusted and thought to be his friend never had his well-being in mind. He actually seems to hope he can still TALK about this with Van, which is. Pretty sure already a no-go. Van seems dead-set on whatever, and seems to hold little to no regard for Luke as the "replica".

... I feel like we are not even being taken seriously as potential enemies.

I think that's what the replica's are for...

I could list several other ways on the fly but I'm hearing him out.

Please note, this was NOT going to be on my list XD

*whisper* I forgot who Lorelei is

Saved by Anise

Though now wondering what an "aggregate sentience" is. I will look that up after XD

I will use that reasoning for any and all neurodivergent thing happening to me now.

Can't we just. Forbid the Score. Not read the Score. Destroy the thingy-stones where the Score is on. Etc. Etc.

Soooo, how do I have to imagine that. Is Van and Co going to be only people which are "originals" among an entire population of replicas? Is that it? And again - what is stopping the replicas to just pick up the Score again -

Ah wait! Luke wasn't in the Score, right. So replicas are all not in the Score? I guess? Which would make it obsolete.

But there are still better ways, dammit!

Despite the sheer insanity of the plan, kinda proud that I guessed correctly. Again! I'm good at guessing games! =D

Or the writing is neat and foreshadows things. That, too.

I agree that that's fucked up, but your plan is more fucked up.

You out-fucked-up the entire thing, congratulations, you won.

Huh?

Yeaaaa. So what. Guy was probably a teen back then, and he changed. He grew.

Apparently, you did not.

I am NOT saying Van has no right to his feelings. The entire thing with Hod is fucked up, as I already said when Tear's Grandpa revealed that they always KNEW it would happen and did nothing about it. But Van's way of doing things is sick and just screams that he should have gotten a lot of damn therapy. How is killing the entire population (plus planet, if I look at his plans to replicate entire areas) any better than what they did? How does it trump, say, abolish the Score and Order of Lorelei and start a different way of living?

He is willing to kill his own sister, he said, if she does not see things his way. He is willing to replicate people against their wills, use those replicas, and them kill them without a blink. Man's clearly has lost it as some point. I feel sorry for him, I do. I'm just saying we cannot let him continue, anyway.

And with that - I ran into the picture limit! Yaaaay! XD @ahsokaisawesome @magicmetslogic

[basementbotanist]

𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖊!

(✿◠‿◠)

hi! im basementbotanist/bb (she/they). this page is just a place for me to be silly, so welcome to the silly zone:)

24 ♥ UK based ♥ ♀ ♥ ML ☭

for the past few years, i've been studying philosophy at university but recently had to take a break from my studies due to a mental health breakdown. on my break, i've been trying to really connect with the things that made me happy when i was younger (before the visions started lol), so i've been v active on tumblr again!

also, if you are a fellow puppet enjoyer, check out my side blog @kermluvr420 :)

𝖒𝖞 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖘 (puppets notwithstanding):

philosophy

classical, marxist, feminist, and social epistemology are my faves, but always looking to read more! have recently been reading a lot of Islamic philosophy which has been super fun. have also been very slowly working on my thesis for when i return from medical leave, and am currently super into conspiracy theories and what makes people ignore information in favour of sticking to conspiracies. looking a lot at phantasms, particularly Judith Butler's new book, and also trying to figure out what the fuck was happening when everyone tried to raid Area 51 lmao

history

literally anything. i love feeling connected with people from all different time periods and cultures. i tend to prefer more grounded history (working class history, fashion + food history) compared to like,, military + monarchy focused history lol. i'm british and am sick of learning so much about people who are apparently appointed by a god i don't believe in!

film + tv

- my fave genres are horror, sci-fi, and comedy, but tbh i'm always looking for new recs:3 - smiling friends <3333 - gravity falls - highly recommend the Mystery Shack Lookback podcast! - the Bear (ayo edibiri my beloved) - lots of british comedy/panel shows lol. have been watching a lot of Taskmaster and WILTY lately

anime

my all time fave is Neon Genesis Evangelion, but lately i've been really enjoying Jujitsu Kaisen and Cowboy Bebop:3

fashion!

i love learning about the history of fashion, and am fascinated by it as it's the only art form we are forced to engage with. expect lots of runway/fashion week photos on this blog lmfao. i also really enjoy sewing/customising my clothing, my current project is copying out the Voynich manuscript onto some of my jorts lol.

[blindrapture]

SUNDAY JULY 24TH, 2011 (Sanctuary Francisco)

8:42 AM groggy. "You're awake. Good." hi Donnie. :) "Hi. Wow, you really are quick with that thing." what? oh, the journal. I've been doing it for two months now. Kinda got a good system going. "Cody wonders if it's a good idea." Does he, now? "I told him it's part of the package. I think it helps you stay aware in the rabbit holes." Part of the package. So you guys have been talking about me. "He's... ugh. He's so paranoid. I think I dodged a bullet with him." What else is he saying? "He doesn't like new people. He says he's alright with me, because he 'knows' me. But he doesn't know what to think about you. I think you should talk to him today. Spend time with him." I mean. I can... but how long are we planning on staying here? I want to search for Bones. "Well, help him out, maybe he can help you in return. I want to stay here for a little longer." Heaven has that plan, doesn't she? Apparently we'll be hearing about it in a few days. We could stay to find out what it is, at least. "A few days? Sure. That works." Okay. You going out? "I'm going to have a look around the area, now that it's daytime. You go find Cody, okay?" kiss "Love you." I love you too. :D

9:50 AM ...FUCK I FELL BACK ASLEEP okay okay, I'm getting dressed. Hat, coat, scarf, pants, velcro shoes. San Fran, here we go, baby!!!

9:51 AM Tiger's here. Cody's eating cereal. Morning! tiger waved. What's. What's going on? "Winston's missing. I came around to get a search going." cody "I'm on it. Gotta eat first." Can I come?

10:03 AM Walking in a pack!!! cody "Do you really expect to do much with a piece of plastic?" tiger "Oh, you should have seen him last night. He took a zombie's head clean with it. It was swag." You can doubt Tiger Stripes all you want, but this thing came from the sky. It's built to last. cody "The sky?" Yeah, on the first day of all this. I took my guitar controller out and lost it pretty quickly, and then that night, this thing fell from the sky. "Sounds like a lot of horseshit to me." Have you. Have you seen what's happening? "I've seen plenty enough. The walking dead. A dog that takes people's skin. Moving shadows. Those damned sirens…" Sirens? "They looked like speakers on legs, but they were tall enough to be tripods from Mars." "Like in that movie." "I saw them towering over Lincoln before I made the decision to come to California." That sounds like Legsteps. You saw them in... Lincoln? "Nebraska." On Earth. Huh. "You've never seen them on Earth?" Only ever in Xanadu. The, uh, the other world. "Oh yeah. Donnie tells me you guys have spent a lot of time over there." Is that weird? "...a lot about you is weird, kid. That one maybe more than most." But. But it's another world, accessible just by walking through a door. What's not to be curious about? "It's a danger. Bad things are coming out of there. We don't know how it works. We don't know for sure how to come back out." They're. They're doors. You just.. walk back out. "Do you ever wonder if maybe you got lost in there long ago, and this thing that's come back out isn't even you?" Well, then I'd be the one talking to you right now, so, no, I wouldn't really wonder about that. tiger "I like him, Cody. He's seen things." cody "We're not here to like people. We're here to stay alive." looking at me. "If you can protect people and keep them alive, then you're alright." But you're still unsure? "I think being unsure is the right move in all this." Alright, I can respect that.

10:07 AM Met up with Jackie, Tiger's friend. She's helping look for Winston. She says he was last seen in John McLaren park. That's where we're going now.

10:25 AM At the park. Cody's putting a backpack on the ground. Looking at the rest of us. "Alright, McLaren's not a small place, so we're going to need to split up, cover more ground. I'm pretty sure Jordan is the second-oldest, so he and I can take separate groups. Jackie, Tiger, you.. pick who you're going with. Jordan, you go north" pointing "and loop around the paths up there. It'll take you some time, but I'm giving you the easier task, as you're new here. I'll go south, where most of the land is off the trail. I'll head to the soccer fields first, then cut back and hit Visitacion, then head back here to meet up. I put that at about... 2, 2:30. Understood?" Understood! "I'm actually glad you wrote this one down. Alright, if you find Winston, or if you run into some serious trouble, I want you to send a signal. Why don't you... hit that guitar of yours against something metal? Hit it as hard as you can, and keep hitting it; hit it to a pattern. Meanwhile, if I run into anything…" pulled out a pistol. "..I think you'll know."

10:27 AM Tiger's with me. Jackie's gone with Cody. Tiger, can you lead the way? "Yeah, no problem! Just keep your eyes peeled, okay?"

10:44 AM Been walking at a somewhat slow pace, shouting for Winston. "I hope he's okay. He and I went to the same school, y'know. I did everything with him." Do we have reason to believe he's not okay? o: "Well. He's been saying some things lately. I think he was already not okay." What kinds of things? "That the Fears are talking to him in his sleep… That I should just let him die." ...ah. Yeah, that's cause for concern. .........does he ever specify which Fears? "I don't like to listen to it when he talks about that kind of thing, but.. I think he said there were two different voices." I like to think I know at least a little bit about some Fears by now, is all. So if there's a Fear I recognize, then I'll have an idea of what to do, or not to do. "There was a. There was a Ruin. God, I hated when he went on about the Ruin. It wasn't his friend. It wanted him to stop trying. It wanted him to grow up with it. Grow up and get used to the cold…" The cold. Was this a little boy? "It's not a little boy, it's a monster." No, I mean. "I know what you mean. It.. looks like a little boy. Yeah." I've.. run into it before. I've never tried to do anything with it, but. Well. I can try, can't I? I'm the White Jester. All I can do is try.

11:16 AM God, these trails are thick with foliage. 'Cause it's a... it's a park. Not a big wide open play-sports-on-a-hill park, but winding trails and sprawling trees and tall shrubbery. Like. Like Marble Hornets. "Yeah, I don't actually know why Cody sent you this way. It'd be way easier to search the south side. That part has fewer trails because it's so much more open." ....what. Were we duped? "By.. Cody? No, he knows what he's doing." But Winston could be in any of this tall grass. There's no way we can search it all. "We still have to try. If Winston's alive, he'll hear us. Searching through all the grass is only if he's...…" ...right. Yeah, that's.. that's right. Sorry. "It's okay. You're new here. And you're helping."

[if you want this string of binary, you'll have to get it from the Website, as it's too big]

11:54444444444444444444444 "Why won't you just play with me? You never wanted to play with me." and there he is. skin blue as laura palmer, hair black as ice, eyes open and black too. red and yellow striped shirt, he looks like he belongs in a time that never was, except for in our fiction. and today he wears a red glove on his right hand that is too big for him. he's the cold boy, and he's called the Ruin. "No matter where I find you, you're always the exact same. You're no fun." I'm inoculated. "You're antisocial." You prey on the social. "What do you know about it? You're not supposed to know anything." In my loneliness, I write. It makes me feel not so lonely.

(Attached: "The Ruin is a sad one. He was always aware of the red glove. And no one was around to stop him from listening to it. But how could anyone be? He was always alone. He thrives when alone. That red glove is the thing that makes these early Ruin passages so strange. That red glove doesn't talk to us. It talks to... you. And that red glove is playing a long game.")

11:56 AM We found Winston. He's sitting on a park bench. He looks completely spaced-out.

12:24 PM Okay, we've been waiting here at the center of the park for a while now. I banged my guitar, we shouted for Cody and Jackie, and he's not showing up. Are we gonna have to wait for 2:00?

12:25 PM At least Winston has been talking. He's been seeing the Ruin for years, he'd play with him during his lonely childhood. High school has been better for Winston, so for a while the Ruin had gone away. Then the Rapture started. And Winston started hearing voices in his room at night, when he'd try to sleep. Not every night, but usually when he was sleeping alone. One voice was the Ruin, urging him to leave his shelter and come and enjoy the apocalypse. The other voice is a name I don't recognize, Grendel, just saying "Let me in. Let me in." The Ruin said not to listen to Grendel, that Grendel would "take your face." Evidently, today Winston did go with the Ruin. They had been playing in the park, waiting for Thursday. Because something's gonna happen on Thursday. And Winston says I came and talked to the Ruin? And that's what caused him to let Winston go. I don't.. remember that. But my journal has a new passage in it, just like last time I felt really cold. There was no lost time this time, though? ...questions for later. For now: WHERE ARE YOU CODY????

1:10 PM There he is. With Donnie! o: "Hi, Jordan!" Hi, Donnie! :D "Hi! I was on my way into the park and I found him. He says you guys are searching for someone?" We found him! Winston's right here. cody "Oh, good job! You are a help." ..where's Jackie? cody "Jackie was getting sick, so I sent her home." ..tiger and winston are a little confused, but they'll go and see her when we get back. Tiger's telling Cody that I dealt with a Fear. He sounds dubious, but he's holding that back. Donnie, though, Donnie's beaming. :3 That's what I do it for.

1:14 PM Cody's putting his backpack back on, slipping the gun back in. "Well, now that Winston's safe, I've gotta go. Got secret work to do." tiger "Ah, your big secret project with Heaven!" cody winked at him. "Are you and Jordan gonna stick around until Wednesday?" donnie "I think we can make the time for that." Wednesday. Huh. Uh, yeah! We'll make time for it. Good luck! "See you guys." … Well! What are we doing now?

1:18 PM Tiger's taking us to a restaurant. He's treating us. Hi Donnie. :) "Hi! So, you scared off a Fear?" I don't actually remember it happening, and my journal... doesn't really answer anything. But it was the Ruin. That.. coldness we felt, back in St. Louis? "Ooh, that. Look at you, saving people!" >w< What did you get up to? "Well, I met some of our neighbors. They're really nice. They're really glad the RAF moved in; monster attacks have gotten rare. And plus the blue sky is a great touch. I did actually go looking around to try and look at the Ants of the Sky, but they're.. really high up. They don't come close enough to the ground to give me a chance." Do you think we should be wary about that? Something up above, changing the sky? "Until we actually see them for ourselves, we're just going on speculation, aren't we?"

1:33 PM Here we are! Restaurant! The Bold Lioness. Yeah, that sounds like California. Sounds really indie. It's packed full of people. It's.. nice to see. It does feel normal.

1:35 PM Got a table. Jeez, look at these prices. Yep, this is California… "Don't worry about it, I've got money." Thanks, Tiger. :) ...these prices. donnie "Yeah, you said, they're high." No, not that. These aren't dollars. This is... Z? "We've.. seen that before." donnie's tensing up. In Xanadu. Yeah. Uh. Tiger? Where do you get your money? "I steal it." says with a mischievous smile. "The RAF believes in sharing the wealth; we're against the rich, after all. And the few times I've been caught, people didn't even care. I don't think people want money so much anymore." No one except, evidently, the restaurants. Huh.

1:47 PM Well, I can't say no to a good burger.

3:23 PM We passed a lot of zombies on the way home, and I got to observe much closer their docility. We also saw a big black dog-- I think the black dog, the Fear, what was it called?-- but we just.. avoided that street. At one point I saw a patch of red bleed through the blue sky above, and a fluttering of black dots made it blue again. Yeah... can't say I get the best vibes. Isn't the blue sky just.. making people forget?

5:08 PM We dropped off Winston and Tiger at the, uh, Party House, then Donnie and I scooted on back to our cots... <3 But I think tonight I want to get started on why I came here in the first place. I'm gonna go asking around about Derek.

5:32 PM Well, going door to door was way too slow, so I came over to the Party House. There's a lot of people staying here, and I don't know if many of them are permanent residents, I think mostly this is just a gathering-place for young people. And that's perfect. I can spread the word of who I'm looking for.

5:39 PM Yeah, uh. His name's Derek Taylor, might also respond to 'Bones.' I guess I don't know for sure what he's wearing, but I wanna say he dresses a little like me? Coat, hat. We were like the Blues Brothers. ..dark hair, last I saw he has a mustache. And this is kinda important, because he's been leaving graffiti calling for me to meet him. "Oh, is that what JORDAN IN THE TRILBY HAT means? I thought it was a song!"

5:42 PM The kids are alright. c: They'll spread the word, as I hoped. ..and I guess, as long as I'm here, I'd may as well hang out some more. C'mon Donnie! They're playing fun music today! We can dance! :D

5:49 PM wheeeeere did all the looooove go I don't know, I don't know

6:30 PM Donnie's gone home. It has been a longer day for her than for me. .w. C'mon, play Free Bird! Do Stonehenge!

7:13 PM Gone to the gamer corner. Nice and chill here. Mood lighting. Everyone's got their PSPs and their DSes and their... is that a Game Gear? "Atari Lynx." It's a what? I didn't even know that was a thing. "It was my uncle's, before all this started."

7:14 PM Tiger? You.. you okay? "Jackie never got home." Fuck. Okay. Do you want to go look for her? Is there anywhere else she'd have gone? "No... she lived here with me. This was our home. She was my sister." Shit. Okay. It's okay. Then she'll still be in the park, or on the route between there and here. It's okay, let's go look for her.

7:16 PM A whole crowd of kids are coming. When the party house owner needs help, everyone listens. This is good. With a group this size, we'll find her.

7:39 PM The park. Sun's going down. But some people have flashlights.

7:40 PM "Listen, Jordan." Yeah? "Cody said he was going to the soccer fields and then to Visitacion. He meant the middle school, it's just on the edge of the park. It's where Jackie went to school, before this summer. And I'm wondering if she found her way inside for some reason. So I want to check that place out. Will you come with me?" Absolutely. o:

8:05 PM Found an open window. It's just the two of us as everyone else sweeps the park. Tiger's got a flashlight. Window leads into a classroom. Should be able to get to the hallways. Break down doors if we have to.

8:07 PM These doors are unlocked. "JACKIE? JACKIE, ARE YOU HERE?"

8:10 PM Darkness. Empty classrooms, everywhere. Not even any cryptic messages written on chalkboards. Can't hear a thing, no footsteps, no growling, no clear threat. Do you know what classrooms she had? "Yeah, we're heading there. I really don't know why she'd have gone here, but, like. Maybe she just needed to reminisce." I'd have done the same. Probably. Or maybe she had some.. notes... written down.... that she left here, and.. forgot??? "Maybe! God, JACKIE? WHERE ARE YOU?"

8:13 PM "TIGER! YOU IN HERE?" that's one of the other kids from outside. "YEAH?" "TIGER, WE FOUND SOMETHING! WE FOUND HER BACKPACK!" "Oh man. OKAY, I'M ON MY WAY!" tiger's running back. but. it's strange. there's a faint light in this classroom. the one tiger was taking us to. I'm gonna peek.

8:14 PM ...it's Jackie. Lying on the floor, next to a candle that's nearly burned out. She has a bullet hole in her forehead. ...… sigghhhhhhhh.

8:20 PM We got out of the school. Her backpack was caught in some tree branches a little distance from the school. It had some fidget toys in it and an iPod, cushioned in colorful cloth. Tiger's sure she won't have gotten far. I.. don't... want to.. tell him. What would I say? How would I break that to him? Even if I just told him that she's dead, he'd want to go and see. And how would he take... that? ...I mean, who else could it have been? So. I might just... look into it myself. Maybe I should tell him. Maybe...

8:55 PM Home. In bed. Heaven's making some dinner for us all. I'll eat that and then sleep. I… Why do I get the feeling I'm on my own for this one.

(Attached: “If the Omen could write, I bet it’d write the most beautiful thing in the world. Originally so affixed with Hertelap so as to be one and the same, when Hertelap committed his atrocity and brought about the extermination of an entire people all over the morbid roots of vanity itself, a part of him broke free of his body and became the silent god we know today. Over the many years, Hertelap ceased to be and all we were left with were a few figures who we’ll meet eventually. Before we get to any of that, though, let’s end this episode of History Dubious and just shut up about the whole thing.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[thepandalion]

While everyone is looking at homestuck stuff today might as well get a shoutout for my currently unnamed music au featuring pitch vriskezi

(under the cut this time is only au stuff! Noone is gonna ask so might as well get the rant out now)

It’s basically a meteorstuck kinda au? Except I decided to say fuck it all the trolls are alive (mostly because I have a few songs in my playlist that are very much feferi<>sollox vibe and I kinda need them alive to be able to sing yknow)

So uh. Trolls are kinda bug-like. And they communicate with words, yes, but also with dancing, like bees? A lot of body language, especially when it comes to your quadrants; leaning on your moirail’s shoulder, grabbing your kismesis’ wrist to stop them from turning away from you... and also just actual dancing and stuff. So, trolls dance. But then Dave and Rose get on the meteor and teach them about how humans communicate. With music.

Cuz like, in the au, humans can get on the same wavelength as other humans via song. Singing is a way a human shows how they feel or think about anything at any given moment. You gotta learn the lyrics (unlike my other music au, which is also a magic au where the lyrics are chosen for you by fate gods aka me specifically and you dont gotta know the lyrics before singing) but like its sorta a bonding thing? and humans are social creatures so they gotta sing every once in a while or they get sadge

so the kids teach the trolls how to sing and thats all really fun and cool and whatever. meanwhile I’ve fallen prey to karkezi flushed propaganda via fanfiction so now Im sitting in the “what if dave and terezi moirails” because they’re my favorite beta kid&troll and the dynamic they have in canon makes my insides fluffy in the way a good moirallegiance gotta get outta you yknow.

Anyways timeskip to after they win Im very much ignoring how by that point both sessions were lost and I decided both of the groups win and like the humans make a new earth ig and like they still have their godtier stuff (at this point Im just picking and choosing what I want based on random music from my 600 songs playlist being put on shuffle). and uh. Well dave becomes a film person (I wanted to say director but also he writes the movies so also scriptwriter and just. he makes movies). And decides to make actual homestuck’s plot into a 12 movies and ongoing film franchise that is basically as well known as like. star wars or whatever. but bigger bc I never actually watched star wars so I only know about it the basic stuff a person who once dated someone who watched all the star wars movies enough times to quote them offhandedly would.

anyways dave is stuck with the part where the trolls get actually introduced to the audience in non-text form and is like “can I convince a bunch of actors to dye themselves grey and put candycorn looking horns on their heads without anyone thinking Ive lost it” when actual trolls (all 12 beta trolls+a bunch of friendsim trolls I thought would be fun to put in+unnamed background trolls for the confusion of wtf is sgrub) land a ship in the middle of area 51 and immediately get cornered by human guards patrolling the area in case aliens ever crashed there.

Anyways is now a good time to mention rose grew up to become the person who runs area 51 because she is and apparently at some point during the 3 years on the meteor she pulled like feferi and karkat aside to go “yo so when we win the games if yall wanna stop by earth 2.0 Imma go run our alien communication center so just ask the people there for rose lalonde yea” and uhh. they do. the other trolls in the background are Confusion over who tf this rose lalonde person is. the human guards are confused abt how tf the aliens know the full name of their leader bc usually the aliens just go “we want to speak to ur manager” or whatever so one of them takes their walkie talkie and talks to her and rose is like “oh hey they made it btw is one of them wearing green and looks like a vampire tell her I love her” to which kanaya fckn melts ig. soft gfs.

and uhh. well at this point except rose all the other beta kids can kinda teleport? Jade is still part-dog, john is wimdy, dave stops time and powerwalks over then unpauses time... rose just calls her limo like “dude I gotta get to this specific part of the desert plz” and by then dave is having a passionate debate with the guards about how trolls are actually awesome and the guard is like “they havent sang anything to make me think theyre intelligent species” or whatever and then the 12 main trolls do like. choreographed dancing with rainbow colors and stuff to various feel-good songs in my playlist. And then dave starts live streaming with scifi tech he alchemized during the game that he kept around like “yo ik theres rumors abt the trolls showing up for the next movie can we all give it up to my moirail and the rest of these lovely folk” to which the internet immediately implodes bc imagine fckn. idk. big time movie producer just starting a livestream in which he casually talks to a bunch of aliens while his half-dog bestie is floating the in background.

yeah and then the protagonist of friendsim sees that happening and goes to talk to the friendsim trolls who are there and thats fun and idk

dave is really good at assigning trolls random songs they should like. my playlist is almost entirely clown cult music its all violence and bright colors and yelling into the void and starting a revolution over the fact you suck at video games.

also the alpha kids are there. because dirk strider is my favorite homestuck character I want to dunk him in my tea like he’s a sad animal biscuit. he also gets a song where he and hal are being passive aggressive and sad about prince of heart stuff ig

[clarawatson]

It Only Takes A Taste (2)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x [Fem]!Reader (GN pronouns, fem coded) Summary: it’s your second time meeting Aaron. He’s still flustered and precious but he (might) manage to give you his number. W/C: 2113 Warnings: none yet! A/N: i haven’t got chapter names yet, just accept they’re all called ‘it only takes a taste’ haha. AO3 tags: @willowrose99 @genevievedarcygranger @maryosprinkle @kleff03 (if you want to get added, lmk!!) Where am I in this series? 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

The next time you meet him, it’s 2am. Rita’s three weeks off her due date. She’s been staying at Joe’s place, with his wife, because the heating’s gone out in her apartment and her super is a foul man. If you were inclined to murder, he’d be first on your list. Right now she’s out the back, trying to wipe chocolate sauce off her uniform. The baby’s been kicking for hours and knocks things around the counter sometimes. At least it isn’t throwing her ribs out this time. 

There’s a couple of teens drinking milkshakes in the window, they’ve snuck out after bedtime and they’re giggling to each other about how bad they are. You’ve seen their parents drive by twice (they’re regulars after school) but no one’s come in yet.

The agent drives by, and then does a u-turn and comes back. It was literally a double take, no matter how you look at it. You clearly saw him slow down and try to look in the window as he tried (desperately tried) to stay on the main road. And then he’d turned around and come back. 

He’s even prettier dry than he was wet. (Your mind spirals to where that could have gone, which is not something you expected from a 2am shift). He’s loosened his tie and his hair is falling free of the gel. He looks less tired, and yet more tired. A different kind of tired. This one would be fixed by a good night’s sleep.

“Hi,” he says with a little quirk in his lip that could be him fighting off a smile.

“Hi,” you return with a full smile. He sits in front of you and steeples his fingers under his chin.

“I’m Aaron.”

A fortnight you’ve been wondering his name and he just swans in and hands it to you on a silver platter. Bless him and his beautiful brown eyes.

“Y/n,” you introduce. “And what can I get for you tonight, Aaron?”

“Maybe not a coffee.” He doesn’t break eye contact with you. He has such a cheeky smile you almost want to reach over and wipe it off his lips. “A hot chocolate would do. I’ve got to sleep enough to take my kid to school.”

“Have here?” Your hands hover over the in-cups and the out-cups. He taps his finger against his chin.

“In.” He folds his hands and you notice he’s not wearing a wedding ring. Kid, no wedding ring, weird hours. Could be a score, could be a serial killer. Could be both! No. Not both. There will be no fraternising with serial killers. Not if you respect your life. 

Would it be weird to ask him where he works? If he works for one of the alphabet soups, will it get you in trouble? Maybe. People don’t like you poking around when sensitive information could be involved. You still ask anyway while the coffee machine has it’s little dummy spit at having to work at two in the morning.

“Quantico,” he says. He probably saw you trying to figure out how to ask. And that’s really all he can say. Maybe. He waggles his eyebrows just a little and you think he’s maybe a little too cheeky for this early in the morning. If Rita was working she’d be swooning all over him. 

“That’s very prestigious, but, sir, I don’t think you have the security clearance to be in this diner if you only work at Quantico. We deal with Area 51.”

“Long commute,” he teases.

You raise an eyebrow. “That’s what the uneducated think. I can break a few rules as long as you don’t start asking questions. No asking about where they keep the aliens, okay?”

“Never.” He wraps his hands around the mug as you push it to him, absorbing it’s warmth. 

“Did your son like the cookie?” you ask. Is it weird to remember he has a son after one interaction? Or the cookie? But he smiles. It’s okay. 

“He’s actually in love with it. He’s not stopped talking about it. I think my sister-in-law might kill me.”

“Joe’s magic in the kitchen. I’ll save a couple of cookies if you know when you’ll be in next?”

Is that too forward? Maybe. He pulls out a little day book and places it before him.

“Is Thursday too soon?”

“No,” you say, shaking your head. You make a note to tell Joe you’re working on Thursday. “Sounds like a good day to collect a cookie.”

“If someone could cut this monster out of me, that would be GREAT!” Rita yells in the kitchen. Her voice is still far too loud out here. Aaron finally drops his gaze from yours, grinning into his hot chocolate.

“Shit, babes, I’m serious. I’ll got for a pocket knife at this point. I’m hot, and it’s not hot, I have to piss every four minutes, I can’t even sit in a car properly and taking the MET is stupid because I still have to pee!” She stops up short, seeing Aaron, and blinks as if she could erase her last comment. “Hi, sorry, you’re rain boy.”

“I prefer Raymond.”

There’s a beat where you try to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about. The cheeky demeanor falls from his face.

“Rain Man! Tom Cruise! Smile." Aaron has no option but to smile at Rita. Too late you realise she's checking the alignment of his teeth to actually equate him to Tom Cruise. "Raymond, for sure. Shit, that’s funny,” Rita laughs, groans, and turns on her heel out the back. She needed to pee again. Aaron smiles just a little.

“Want some pie?” you offer. There’s still a bit left. Joe won’t be in for another hour or so, but there’s some in the oven to take out just before three. Aaron nods.

“Yeah, please.” He puts too much money in the tip jar again. Hands you the exact money for the pie. Had he looked at the menu online? Maybe he had. You take a slice out for him, then a slice for yourself. No harm in that. The whipped cream goes on his like a mountain. You put a bit beside your own pie slice, but Aaron’s grinning. 

He looks like he may do something childish. He doesn't, though, as you join him in pie eating. The teenagers start giggling about something they're watching on their phone. 

Rita comes back looking more tired than usual. Her whole body looks tired as she gets her purse and rubs her belly.

"Say bye to Rita," she says without much playful effort.

"Bye Rita," you return and kiss her cheek as she lifts it to you.

"And to Baby." 

"Bye Baby, be good for Mom." 

Rita snorts. Joe gives you a list of things to do while he's taking Rita home. Apparently Lola's coming in to replace Rita, but that's only going to be proven by Lola actually turning up. Aaron raises his hand around his fork and waves. Rita waves back and waddles out the back.

"Is she okay?" you ask Joe, and he nods. He waves goodbye to Aaron, even though he hasn't introduced himself yet. Aaron waves too. 

"That's a lot to worry about," Aaron says. You shrug and reach over the counter to Aaron's plate, taking some of his cream. He laughs and puts his arm around it to protect it.

"They're family. Less worrying, more caring." 

He nods as if he understands. "Might use that sometime."

"You're welcome to." 

He gives you a smile that only uses half his face. Gosh, he's cute. But it’s nothing more than fleeting night time visits, right? Okay, maybe not, he clearly turned his car around because he saw you working. You catch him staring at your left hand, studying it intently. No one wore rings at the diner, just because everything got stuck underneath them and there was nothing worse than having a maple syrup adorned wedding ring.

“There’s no one,” you tell him, which flusters him entirely. He smiles and looks down at his pie, blush creeping over his face. “Weird hours in a place like this? Hardly a brilliant base to build a relationship on.” 

“Yeah.” He might want to say more, but he’s smiling at you again. “Weird hours, strange place, know that story.”

“Sucks, hey?”

“Oh yeah.” 

The teens from the window go home when they’ve finished their milkshake. You tell them to get home safe and pray their parents don’t come in asking where they went. Aaron scraps his plate, scooping up the cream and pie soupy mess. 

“I have to go,” Aaron sighs. He runs his hand through his hair and his fingers get stuck in the left-over-gelly-mess. You smother a giggle as he rolls his eyes and pulls his hand out with tiny little crack-crack-crack’s. It sounds painful.

“I’m going to shower and get this shit out of my hair.”

“It’ll look nice without it in.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

He blushes, returning to the man you’d met coming out of the rain. 

“Well I’ll remember that for next time.” 

Your heart jumps. Next time! There’ll be a next! Time!

“Listen, hey, um,” Aaron says as he stuffs a couple of bills into the tip jar. “Here--” he stops again, then shakes his head like he’s giving himself a vote of confidence. “This is…” he stops again and licks his lips, then pulls out a business card from his suit pocket. He scratches his number onto the blank back, and then Aaron at the top. “My number,” he managed to finish.

“Thanks,” you respond before wanting to smack your head onto the counter. Thanks?!?! There are a hundred better things to say. “W-when do you want me?” When do you want me??? “To be here, on Thursday, for the cookies.”

Aaron’s gone red. Your face is hot. This is a disaster. There’s no fixing this disaster. There’s no fixing it at all. But Aaron smiles all the same.

“U-uh. I’ll text you?” he looks so flustered. 

“You haven’t got my number,” you giggle, because he hasn’t. You’ve got his. He looks like a tomato as he blushes even more. “How about I text you my number, and you tell me when you’re free, and I’ll make sure there’s three cookies set aside for you that no one else buys.”

“Three?”

“You, your son, your sister-in-law.”

“I could really use you at work,” he laughs and… sits back down. Four seconds ago he was in such a rush to leave, and now he’s looking at you like you’re his whole world. He’s so precious, you wish you could just put him in a jar and protect all that goodness from the evils of the world. Surely he couldn’t have met too many of them just yet? He’s still got a smile that could brighten up the night sky, people who’ve seen all the hurt and pain in the world can’t smile like that.

“I don’t think I’m clever enough to get into Quantico. Unless they like people serving them coffees,” you smile gently and he tilts his head while looking at you. A curious puppy. You want to lean over and squish his cheeks for thinking you could be anything more than a server at a roadside diner.

“You’d brighten the place up.”

“You brighten my place up.” Corny, highschool grade flirting. He smiles all the same. Can he smile any more than that? Probably not, he might combust and become a star. “You know you don’t have to keep putting money into the tip jar, right? Not the amount you do. Most people just put in their change.”

He looks at the tip jar. “It’s for Rita’s hospital bills, right? It’s why she won’t look at it, because she’s embarrassed, but also why you and Joe count every bill that goes in it.”

“Alright, Sherlock Holmes.”

“It says on the jar,” he jokes, and points to the permanent marker that’s bled through the otherside of the tip jar. You laugh. Aaron laughs.

“I do have to go.”

“Go,” you laugh. “I’ll text you when I’m off my shift.”

He nods, looking a little sad to go, but also a little excited. He must really love his son.

“I’ll see you on Thursday, Y/n.”

“I’ll see you on Thursday, Aaron,” you return and watch him leave. Shit, he’s even cuter leaving. He even waves from his car before he drives off. You’re close to squealing when the bikie gang pull up, flooding the carpark, then all come in ready for their coffee. At least Aaron’s hot chocolate warmed up the machine for them.

[absolutepokemontrash]

(WARNING: LONG RANT)

Feel free to disagree with me on this one, but the basic premise of every Disney movie (especially the old ones) is “friendship is magic.” No, in this essay I will not be talking about My Little Pony.

What if the main antagonist was intelligent? Not in the sense of an alchemy nerd poisoning an apple when you could’ve just used arsenic, but intelligent, intelligent. As in, exploiting the “true love” or “pure friendship” philosophy in the Disney world after hearing various tales about their monarchs.

You’ll need more than one villain, which turns it into a villain duo. The main antagonist is likely observant and thorough from how they were able to conjure this theory. Meanwhile, the sidekick could be loyal but more naive than Princess Anna because “friends stick together”, as if said friend wasn’t a notorious criminal.

Regardless, quality drama would occur if the two actually cared or even loved each other. It almost has to be true, or else the magic loophole won’t be able to function correctly. Give these two some screen time away from the protagonists, show why they’re basically attached like twin cherries. Also, no; I do not mean shoehorning in a sob story for the evil characters at the last thirty minutes or less. I mean have them scheming together while genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

I imagine their downfall would start from the sidekick. They encounter the protagonist(s) somehow, and the latter convinces them that maybe, just maybe, they can afford to think about themselves more. Mind shattering, am I right? Certainly was for Bella Swan- wait, that never happened, did it?

Through multiple encounters (because the sidekick is apparently useless for anything other than the magic that keeps their reign of terror alive), the sidekick realizes little by little that no, they are not the lesser of two evils. They never have been ignoring their friends’ evil shenanigans and inadvertently encouraging them to do whatever. Boom! The sidekick runs away since they’re too emotionally committed to hold a knife, and the protagonists use them to figure out where the main antagonist is.

Double boom, the villain is captured, and their magic can’t bail them anymore because the bond has been too heavily damaged to manifest itself in physical ways. They realize they might have decided for their friend without accounting for their feelings, and the sidekick realizes friendships aren’t everything. By the time they reunite (if at all… wow) they’d have grown as a dynamic duo.

…Until they are probably booted to the Isle of the Lost or Area 51 for all of the undead armies they summoned…

Fuck, I’d watch a movie with the villains exploiting the power of friendship like that-

I really like this idea!!!!

(But I can totally get why these villains aren’t as popular in mainstream media. People mainly fall into things like addiction, depression, and violent/toxic behaviour because they don’t have a good support system or friend to lean on. BUT, sometimes someone could have the best support system in the world and still go down the drain, possibly pulling people down with them, but that doesn’t exactly make for a healthy friendship.)

[onechicagorpf]

Two Can Play This Game

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med ED doctor)

Summary: Y/N and Jay have a very undefined relationship, which causes problems when Jay decides to meet with Ally, his ex, for drinks. Y/N’s not one to take things lightly, so when Jay dismisses her jealousy she decides to give him a taste of his own medicine...

Warnings: Loud yelling-at-each-other arguments, which can be triggering, so please watch out! Swearing + dubious medical content, as per usual lol

A/N: I just needed a break before I got started on Not A Stranger Part 4, so this happened! Enjoy! As per usual, please leave comments if you really liked it - they mean a lot!

The sun is bearing down on you hard, and you feel a trickle of sweat go down the back of your neck.

“Need a drink?” It’s Ethan, tossing a cool bottle of water at you. Grinning, you catch it and quickly begin to empty it into your mouth.

Ethan’s frowning, looking up into the sky. “Some days, I just don’t get Chicago. It’s either freezing because it’s the polar vortex, or it’s boiling hot because - well. Whatever. I hate this.” Crushing the plastic bottle, you toss it into a nearby trashcan. “We’ve cleared everyone?” You ask, gesturing to the relatively less frantic movement of firefighters, cops, and doctors on the road. Ethan nods.

A gas explosion had gone off in an apartment, and it was bad enough that CFD paged ED doctors to come down and treat some patients on the scene. Natalie, Connor, Lanik and the student doctors opted to stay behind and hold down the fort, so you were dispatched out with Will and Ethan. For the last hour and a half, you’d been busy running triage and treating whatever burns, smoke inhalations, and other trauma injuries came your way. Luckily, the fire had been contained to just one floor, so there were only a few really awful burns. But of course, this is Chicago so there’s only so much luck going around.

The building was an old one, and that coupled with several structural defects meant that the south face of the building had partially collapsed. So in essence, for every burn victim CFD pulled out, there were about three penetrating or blunt traumas from falling concrete.

“Yeah, but I’d rather treat trauma from a falling object than burns any day,” Ethan comments and you raise your eyebrows. “See, if you’d told me that at the start I would’ve just taken all the burn vics and tossed the rest to you.” Ethan throws his hands up, as you start laughing. “Okay hold on, I didn’t say I wanted to take them all – ” “You guys good?” Cruz swings by, soot and sweat on his face. He takes off his helmet with a sigh, and his shoulders sag like he’s been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Should be asking you that. Are you guys done with search and rescue?” You ask, kicking a nearby plastic chair towards him. Cruz thanks you and starts taking off his equipment. “Yeah, we’ve cleared building. CPD’s in there now.” You nod, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of the police - well specifically at the thought of one detective who you know is on scene…

Except you’re supposed to be mad at him now, so stop thinking about him!

“So they think this is arson? And that it’s related to some case Intelligence is working?” Ethan asks, and Cruz nods, “Seems that way, yeah.”

There’s a moment of silence, and your eyes scan the area, watching patrol officers lift up police tape for the last few victims being wheeled into ambulances. You get up, ready to check with Will if he’s ready to go back when Cruz kicks at your feet, a cheeky smile on his face.

“So what’s this I hear about you and the younger Halstead being on the outs?” His eyes light up, and you groan, swearing. Ethan laughs, and you shoot him a glare, to which he simply shrugs like as if he’s got nothing to do with this.

You turn back to Cruz, narrowing your eyes at him. “Who told you and what do you know?”

“All I know is that you and Jay were both at Molly’s last night and you didn’t even look at each other.” Cruz pouts, acting all sad. “What happened to my favourite detective-doctor duo, huh? Why the trouble in paradise?”

You roll your eyes. “We’re fine. We just…were hanging out with different groups of people last night.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean against the nearby table of supplies, trying to look all nonchalant. Ethan raises his eyebrows, “So you’re definitely not pissed about the blonde chick Jay had drinks with 2 nights ago?”

“Okay, fuck you - ” You exclaim, unable to hide your rage at that memory. Which Ethan and Cruz find hilarious, apparently, because they’re throwing their heads back and laughing.

“You guys suck,” You punch Cruz in the arm as you walk away; the two men calling you back while still laughing. You flip your middle finger at them, which elicits an outraged “Hey!” Shaking your head, you chuckle as well.

The Med ED/Firehouse 51/Intelligence circle is a tight one and you love it - love having friends who are more or less in the same line of work, friends you can lean on, friends who don’t get pissed when you have to cancel on them last minute. But the flip side of that is the fact that nothing stays secret. Gossip is most the valuable currency in that social circle, so if Cruz and Ethan know, then it’s not a bad guess to think everyone knows.

“Dude, c’mon. You’re an adult. Just take the damn injection!” Severide’s voice catches your attention, and you turn. He’s standing at the back of an ambulance, with Will and Jay by his side (your heart, again, skips a beat, which only pisses you off because ugh, you’re so bad at being angry at him!). The three of them are crowded around a fairly attractive, topless blonde man sitting in the back of the ambulance, shaking his head vehemently. You start making your way towards them, listening in.

“Hell nah – I’m not letting you stab me with that shit – ” The guy’s eyes are wide, and he’s leaning back from Will.

“It’s just a tetanus shot,” Will explains, exasperated. He points to the guy’s side, where a bandaged piece of gauze has been stuck to his skin. “The rusty stairwell scratched you, so you need to get a tetanus shot.”

“I said, I’m not fucking doing needles!” Hot blond guy yells and Jay runs his hand down his face. “Okay dude seriously, I can’t question you about the fire unless you get treated first, so please just take the damn shot so we can all move on with our lives – ”

“What’s going on?” You interject, hands on your hips. All four men turn, and you’re very careful to not make eye contact with Jay. Will and Kelly both immediately shoot furtive glances at Jay once they see you, so obviously they also know that you and Jay are having an argument. Great!

I mean, it has to have been Jay’s fault, because you didn’t tell anyone…well except for Natalie…who might have told Maggie…who might have told April…who might have told Kelly - shit. Well, it doesn’t matter. The whole thing is only happening because of Jay. Technically the two of you weren’t really dating – it was just a couple of hookups, but then you also started hanging out a lot together, and it got to the point where everyone knew that the two of you were basically kinda sorta an item.

You liked that you guys never had to sit down and talk about what exactly the two of you were – all that meant was that you guys were strong and confident and that you didn’t need to have a discussion about where you stood!

Or at least that’s what it meant to you. Jay apparently thought it meant it was completely okay to go have drinks with an on and off ex from high school, who he’d admitted to you he’d hooked up with on multiple occasions in the past. When you (rightfully!) got pissed at him, he just frowned and said “What’s the problem? We’re not together.”

To which you responded very maturely.

So maturely!

In a very, very responsible way…

Okay, fine, maybe you screamed “FUCK YOU!” at the top of your lungs and left his apartment, slamming his front door loud enough to wake up all the neighbours.

You get that you’re maybe being a little over-dramatic, and maybe it is on you because you just assumed you didn’t have to have that conversation with Jay. But it hurt you immensely how he thought it was okay to go have drinks with an ex (an ex!) without thinking about you at all.

“Blake here tripped on his way down the fire escape and got scraped by a rusty stairwell, but he’s refusing his tetanus shot.” Will explains, snapping you out of your reverie.

You turn to the guy just in time to catch him giving you a very slow once over, smirking.

Okay…

“How come a big strong guy like you is scared of needles, hmm?” You tilt your head, putting on your best flirty voice. It’s just a thing that tends to work with unruly male patients, you’ve learned over the years.

And yeah, maybe it can be a side benefit that Jay’s going to be an audience to you flirting with someone else…serves him right!

“I’m uh, I’m not actually scared of needles. Just didn’t trust that guy – ” He nods towards Will, who throws his hands in the air, “ – to do a good job you know? Take a delicate hand for these things. Speaking of which…you look like you’re pretty good with your hands,” Blake licks his lips, flirting with you blatantly. You have to press your lips against each other to not burst out laughing.

“Dude…” Jay threatens in a deep, dark voice, but stops when you turn around and grab the tetanus shot pack out of Will’s hands. You step towards Blake, who’s looking up at you with lust in his eyes as he shifts for you. Wiping his shoulder down with an alcohol swab, you find a good spot.

“I’m pretty good with my hands too, by the way,” Blake supplies, winking and you nod. “I’ll bet,” You reply, as someone behind you scoffs. From the corner of your eye, you can see Kelly turn away, trying not to laugh.

You’re much closer to Blake than you really need to be, not that he minds – in fact you’re pretty sure he’s having a great time checking you out up close. He curses under his breath when you inject him, but quickly recovers. You rub on the jab site once done, and trash the used pack. “Good to go,” You shoot Blake a smile. “Oh, one more thing!”

You turn, looking at a very frowny, jaws tight, arms-crossed-over-his-chest Jay Halstead. “Let me borrow that,” You reach forward and take his notepad and pen from him, before scribbling down your number on the top most sheet. Ripping it off, you press it against Blake’s chest, winking. Blake’s hands come up to take the piece of paper, grinning, briefly brushing your fingers as you pull away. Jay’s jaw is on the floor when you return his notepad and pen to him, and you can see Will just shake his head at you, amusement all over his face.

“Alright, let’s go!” You say to Will, and the two of you plus Kelly leave Jay behind with Blake.

“Jay’s going to murder that guy, you know right?” Kelly asks, once you’re out out earshot from Jay. “Like, he’s going down for a homicide. You just got an innocent man killed.” You chuckle and Will lets out a low whistle.

“I’m not gonna say he didn’t have that coming, but damn that was harsh.” The older Halstead says, still laughing.

Shrugging your shoulders, you act innocent. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about – I was just making friends!”

Will and Kelly both look at each other before looking back at you.

“Oh, yeah, of course – ”

“Obviously, what else could that have been – ”

You punch them both in the shoulder at their faux-agreement, the three of you laughing. Ethan comes over, saying there’s an ambulance ready to take them back to Med. You and Will say your goodbyes to Kelly, and take your leave.

***

It’s almost midnight when you finally get home. Hip-checking your door close behind you, you start undoing your scarf and carelessly toss it onto your coffee table, before collapsing onto your couch. Your hand roams the crevices of your couch, finding the plastic remote and turning on your TV. Rubbing your eyes while yawning, your TV comes alive to the news of the day. As if on cue, the screen is filled with videos of the building from earlier this morning.

“…while the gas explosion was first assumed to be an accident, it was later proven by CPD Intelligence that it was started by Derrick Henderson, a 35 year-old construction worker from Englewood, who…”

There’s a knock on your door, three loud raps. You blink, confused, and there’s another three. Frowning, you sit up, and you hear: “Y/N, I know you’re in there, c’mon just…just let me in, please,” Jay’s voice is muffled from the other side of your front door, but you know it’s him. Groaning, you get up and make your way over, unlatching your door.

“What do you want.” You intone, seeing him standing there in your threshold. He grabs the door with his hand, like as if he’s afraid you’re gonna shut the door in his face.

“I think I owe you an apology,” Jay starts and you hum, agreeing. “And then I think you owe me an apology,” He finishes, and your mouth falls open.

“What the fuck did I do!” You yell, shoving against his chest. Unfortunately for you, he doesn’t even budge - which is kinda hot, actually, wait, dammit - focus!

Jay’s eyes go wide, like he can’t believe you’re claiming innocence. “Are you kiddi – that whole thing! With – with Blake, the fucking moron, who was basically stripping you with his eyes! That was so unnecessary – ”

“You literally went on a date with your ex and you’re telling ME what’s unnecessary?! You – ”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Your neighbour from down the hall yells, and both you and Jay shut up. “NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS YOU FUCKING MORONS!”

Jay scoffs, and turns to step down your hallway to your neighbour’s apartment when you reach out, grab him by his tee and unceremoniously drag him into your apartment. Slamming the door behind you, you turn to give him a piece of your mind.

“You’re the asshole who told me that we weren’t really together so it didn’t matter if you went out with your ex-girlfriend! So why the fuck is it a problem if I give my number out, huh?!”

Jay throws his hands in the air. “I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t fucking – I wasn’t thinking when I did what I did and I can see know that it probably really hurt you, but I swear I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you; I just fucked up. But you – you went out of your WAY to piss me off – ”

“ALL I DID WAS GIVE OUT MY NUMBER – ”

“IN FRONT OF ME! TO SOME OTHER GUY! WHEN I – ”

The two of you jump when there’s loud banging on your door. “I’M CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE ON YOU TWO!”

Jay wrenches your door open and you see your pissed off neighbour on the other side. “I’M HER BOYFRIEND AND I’M THE FUCKING POLICE, SO YOU’D JUST BE CALLING ME!” He slams the door shut and turns, running his hands over his face.

“Okay, okay, we gotta stop yelling. Anyway, my point is – what?” Jay asks, as you stand unmoving, mouth slightly open.

When you eventually find your voice, all you can say is - “You’re my boyfriend?”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you – ” Jay smiles, reaching for you but you just step back.

“That you just decided you’re my boyfriend? Because this relationship is an autocracy?” You glare at him, getting angry again. The nerve of this guy!

Not that your heart didn’t practically soar when he called himself your boyfriend, but…

“No, no, we’re very democratic, and we should talk about this more, once we’re done with all the yelling.” Jay announces, and then he smiles. “I’m just saying I love you.”

“See, no, this is exactly the kind of issue with you - you just make decisions and act like you’re right and you can do whatever you want and you can go out with your ex if you want and that’s all supposed to be fine but the moment I – as a joke – hand out my number to some guy to give you a taste of your medicine, I’m the one who crossed a line and – wait, what?” You cut yourself off, confused if you’re hearing things.

“There we go,” Jay laughs, a fond smile etched on his face, as you finally process what he said.

“Did you just…did you just say you love me?” You ask, your voice soft as you step up to him.

“Yeah,” Jay’s grinning now, right in front of you. “I’m sorry it took me a while to realise it, but…I love you.”

You just blink at him for a couple of seconds, eyes starting to tear up. And then you punch him in the chest as hard as you can.

“Ow! What the fuck?!” Jay asks, eyes wide as he frowns, wholly confused.

“You fucking – fuck!” You whisper angrily, not wanting to piss off your neighbour again. “You had to fucking go out on a date with your ex-girlfriend and piss me the fuck off and make me make you jealous before you realised that you love me?!”

“I’ve been hit in the head multiple times…?” Jay shrugs apologetically.

“You’re an idiot.” You say, before cupping the back of his neck with your hand and pulling him down to press your lips together.

You can feel Jay smile through the kiss, bringing his hands up to cradle your face as he deepens the kiss, parting your lips. You’ve kissed each other many times before, in many ways – good morning pecks, in-the-middle-of-sex makeouts, teasing neck kisses – but something about this kiss is entirely new. It’s just…warm, and loving, and delicate and beautiful and just – just perfect.

When you pull apart, the two of you rest your foreheads against each other, smiling like dumb idiots.

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

[ikleesfiction]

Will you follow through if I fall for you?

Fandom : One Chicago Word count : 3,485 words Disclaimer

Previously on this fic : Part 1 🞂 Part 2 🞂 Part 3 🞂 Part 4 🞂 Part 5 🞂 Part 6 🞂 Part 7 🞂 Part 8 🞂 Part 9 🞂 Part 10

Part 11 (FIN)

Jay hangs out at Molly's after a good day at work. The bar is packed with familiar faces from Firehouse 51 and The Med. He sits down at a table with Hailey and Adam, talking about dull things, enjoying his drink.

"Jay, did you ever find out who sent you that box of chocolate on your birthday last month?" Hailey curiously asks him.

"Oh, you mean the one that you and Kim confiscated?" Jay teases her.

"Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't even open it if we didn't force you," Hailey rolls her eyes. "So, did you know who gave it to you?"

Jay's lips twitch with a barely-there smile, "Yeah, I did,"

"Who was it?" Adam asks nosily.

"A friend," Jay replies vaguely.

"You have friends other than us?" Hailey mocks him. "I'm shocked!"

"Hey, I'll have you know, I am a social butterfly. I got friends in many places," Jay points his finger at his coworkers who are busy laughing at him.

Adam sobers up from the laugh first and sees Kelly Severide approaching their table, "Hey, man!"

Kelly grins at Adam and Hailey, "Hey, guys!" before beckons to Jay, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Jay is confused but follows Kelly anyway to a quieter corner of the bar. He waits until Kelly starts to speak. "I'm not sure if you know this, but Y/N will be in town next week," Jay stiffens as he hears his ex's name, but Kelly continues as if he didn't see it. "I know that she made a big mistake, and you probably still hate her," Kelly opens his hands in a placating manner, ".. but I'm not trying to play sides here. It's just.. she asked me to give you this," Kelly pulls an envelope from his jacket pocket. "It's two tickets for their show at Soldier Field next week, including the backstage passes. You can do whatever you want with them, man. If you want to use them, she'll be thrilled. If you want to burn them, she'll understand," He hands the envelope to Jay, who hesitantly takes it. "She's scheduled to arrive on Friday night and supposedly stays at The Langham for the weekend. But she hinted that she will try to crash at my place," Kelly informs him further.

"Why are you telling me this? What do you expect me to do?" bemuses Jay.

"I'm not telling you to do anything. I understand that you have a hard time these past months. But I also know it was not easy for Y/N as well. This might be a chance for you to clear any niggling questions you have." Kelly pats Jay's shoulder before walks out of Molly's.

Jay slowly steps back to their table. Hailey immediately grills him, "What was that about?"

Jay shakes his head to answer his friend, "It's nothing important." He puts the envelope in his back pocket, trying to forget the conversation.

◢◤

The days sneak up on Jay. Without him knowing, it's already Saturday evening. He sits on a couch at home, staring at the envelope on the table, thinking about what he should do. He knows what he wants to do, but he is not sure if it's the right thing to do. Jay bounces his foot restlessly before he decides to call Will.

"Hey, what are you doing tonight?" Jay asks Will straight away once the call is connected.

Unbothered by Jay's rude manner, Will replies shortly, "Watching Netflix. Why?"

"I need you to go someplace with me," demands Jay.

"I'm on stand by. I cannot go too long or too far away from Med." Will explains.

"I'll drive you with sirens on if they call you. Please, Will?"

Will is never immune to his brother's pleadings, so naturally, he agrees. "Okay, then. When are you going to pick me up?"

"I'm leaving my place now. You go get ready," Jay grabs his keys and walks out to his car.

◢◤

Once Will sits comfortably in Jay's car, he begins to ask, "So, where are we going?"

"Soldier Field." he hears Jay's clipped reply. Will starts to put the pieces together when he remembers that alex&y/n playing there tonight. He tries to reconfirm his guess, "Isn't that where..."

"Yep," Jay curtly nods without leaving his gaze from the road.

Will raises his eyebrows, "So you're going to see her?"

"I don't know," Jay shrugs his reply.

Will confronts him further, "Is that why you brought me? To help you decide?"

"No, I asked you to come because I know you're a fan of Y/N and her music," Jay patiently explains his reason.

Will never admits that fact before, but his brother seems to catch it anyway. Jay always tenses up whenever someone mentions his ex's name. Thus Will thought it's wiser to leave him be. But this time, it's Jay who chose to bring it out.

"But I told you before, I won't go to see the show," Will tries to remind Jay. He wants Jay to understand that he is here for his brother.

Instead, Jay tells him, "I know. That's why I brought you."

Will sighs loudly, "You're so confusing."

Stopping at an intersection, Jay grins widely at Will, "Just enjoy it, man."

◢◤

The first time Jay opens the envelope is in front of an usher who stands by the entrance gate. He shows the tickets to him and lets the usher guides them to the Guest Check-In area.

"Where did you get those tickets? Did Y/N give you that?" Will asks Jay as they stand in front of the check-in booth. Jay simply ignores Will's interrogations.

"Hello, good evening. May I see your tickets and ID, please?" greets the young man behind the booth. Jay silently gives the tickets and his driving license to the man. He checks them for a moment then input something on a laptop in front of him. Soon he returns Jay's ID back along with two gold wristbands. "Here's your wristband. Please tighten it on your hand, so you don't lose it," He pulls out a colorful map and circles several spots as he details further, "You can access the Guest Area here, on the east side of VIP seats. To access the backstage, you need to go to the north side area and ask the officials there for the backstage entrance. Is there anything else I can do for you, Sir?"

"No, thank you." Jay folds the map and puts it in his back pocket.

The man smiles politely and bids them goodbye, "Have a good time, Mr. Halstead."

The sky looks clear, tints in beautiful orange as the sun just set. They quickly find the Guest Area and the VIP seats. The seats are on an elevated section, which definitely gets a better view of the stage. The stage is dark now, but Jay can see it's bustling with some preparation. The Guest Area looks inviting. It has a private bar and a few food stalls. "This is very nice," remarks Will as he takes in his surrounding. He almost sounds impressed until he remembers from whom Jay got the tickets. "Nope. I ain't falling for this stunt! Does she think these extravagant things could lead her back to you?" Will shakes his head and declares passionately. He sulks on his way to find a spot with the perfect view of the stage.

Smirking at Will's antic, Jay pacifies his brother, "I think she just wants us to have a good time,"

Before Will can respond, the stage suddenly lit up. Laser and neon lights shine blindingly. In front of the stage, the crowd starts to clap and yell excitedly. As the intro begins to play, Jay looks down at the sea of people below him, shouting Alex's and your name.

"What's up, Chicagooooooo!" Alex cheers as he shows up on the stage, then soon followed by you. The crowd goes even wilder. You and Alex open with the first song, jumping lightly to the beat. Between a gap to the second song, Alex greets the crowd. "Chicago! It's so good to be here tonight" He leaves the beat playing in the background. "It is even better to have my best friend here with me. Would you please make some noise for Y/N!" The crowd hoots loudly. You answer them with a grin and a quick wave. "I hope you're also having the best time with your friends. Or maybe even make new friends. So now, let's party!!" Alex puts the microphone down and begins to play the next song. You and Alex play together for about 30 minutes before Alex leaves the stage. You keep the crowds going with your songs and remixes.

"Is it just me, or she doesn't look like she's enjoying it?" Will yells at Jay's ear. The music is so loud, it's practically impossible to speak over the thumping beats and sing-along crowd. Jay also notices the same thing Will said. It was really subtle. The crowd probably won't see it. But since Jay solely pays his attention to you, he can see that you're looking a bit tired. After another 30 minutes passed, Alex comes back on stage as you go off.

Alex plays solo for about 45 minutes before you come back to the stage. They play together again for a few songs until Alex grabs the microphone, "This is our last ten minutes... We are alex&y/n. We hope you enjoyed our music tonight... You guys are fucking amazing! We love you!" The crowds shout back in response.

When they reach the outro, Alex helps you get up on the table before getting himself up. Both of you bow and send air kisses goodbye to the crowds. The confetti bursts on the stage as fireworks explode beautifully to the sky. Soon as the last note goes, Alex jumps down from the table and helps you down. The stage then goes completely dark again. The crowds start to break. Some move away slowly from the stage. Others decide to sit in front of the stage and wait for the next act.

Will nudges Jay and asks, "You're gonna use that backstage pass?"

"No. Let's just go home," Jay sounds certain, but his eyes don't leave the dark stage, as if he still can see you there.

"They are actually amazing," Will comments about the show as Jay drives him back to his place. "I mean, I know they sound good. But the show was apparently better. Thank you for taking me tonight, bro."

"You know you can talk to her, right? You don't have to avoid her for me," Jay tells his brother.

Will clasps his hand on Jay's shoulder. "I know. But you're my brother. She hurts you. I'm not ready to forgive her yet."

◢◤

After you get off the stage, it doesn't take long for the entourage to leave the venue. Alex is whining that he's hungry. The time just passed 11 PM, so you take them to one of your favorite late-night eateries in Chicago. You also pick this place because it's only three blocks from Kelly's home. Thus, once everyone is done eating, they drop you off at Kelly's before they go back to the hotel.

Kelly knows that you're coming, so he's not surprised when he hears knocks on his door at 1 AM. But you are the one who is surprised when you see some folks from Firehouse 51 there. You hang out with them, talking and laughing until almost dawn. Some of them decide to go home. Others prefer to catch a wink before leaving. The sleeping arrangement becomes a challenge when there are more people than available beds. You finally get to shut your eyes on Kelly's couch just as the sun rises.

The persistent knocks on the door wake you up from your slumber. Half asleep, you come to the door, expecting Sylvie or Joe coming with brunch since they chose to go home last night.

When the door is opened, you blink a few times, not trusting your eyes. Is that really.. "Jay?" you whisper cautiously, wondering if you're still dreaming.

"Hi, Y/N," Jay lets out a nervous smile. You stare at each other for a while, uncertain of what to say. Before Jay gestures to the door, "May I come in?"

"Uhm, yeah, sure. Please. Come in," You stammer as you open the door wider to let Jay in. When you remember that you're still in your sleepwear of a tank top and cotton shorts, you insecurely put on a sweatshirt from your duffel near the couch.

You see Jay looking around the living room. It isn't messy, but it isn't exactly pristine either. They did bare minimum clean-up before went to bed, but you still can see remnants of the get-together. "Did you sleep there?" Jay refers to the unmade couch.

You let out a small giggle as you walk to the kitchen to make coffees, "Drew a short stick on the sleeping arrangement,"

Jay laughs at you, "Why did you sleep on a couch when you have a heavenly bed at the Langham?"

You're a bit surprised that Jay knew where you should've stayed, "Huh, guess Kelly told you that?" The question feels a bit rhetorical, so you don't expect Jay to give any response. "Would you like a cup?" You offer Jay, gesturing to the brewing coffee when he follows you to the kitchen.

"Please," Jay nods then sits on the chair by the counter. Both of you stay silent as you prepare the coffee. You wonder why Jay is here, but you are afraid to ask. When the coffee's brewed, you fix Jay's cup first and hand it to him before filling yours. "Thanks," Jay says as he accepts the cup. You stay on the other side of the counter as you sip into your cup. You feel like saying something, but you don't know what. Should you ask what's Jay doing here? Would Jay accept if you apologize to him again?

After a few awkward seconds, Jay speaks first. "Your show last night was great. Even got Will to jump and dance,"

That actually surprises you, "You came?"

"Of course we did. Will is a fan of yours." He says like it's a fact. Like it's the only reason he came.

You scoff your disagreement, "Right, I doubt that Will is a fan of me,"

"Will likes your music." Jay differs.

"Now that is something I can believe. But I'm pretty sure Will still hates me," you chuckle despairingly.

Jay takes his time to counter your claim, "Will doesn't hate you. He just... felt like he should. Because of me."

"What about you?" you hesitantly ask. "I understand if you're still mad at me. I just wish I can do something to fix it.."

When Jay gives no answer, you kick yourself in your head, thinking you've really screwed this up.

"When are you leaving?" Jay asks instead after a minute pause. You can hear the imply "again" at the end of the question.

Softly sigh to your coffee cup, you reply, "Monday morning." You see Jay nodding as a sign that he hears you, but he doesn't say anything. "I... might come back here in about three months?" It was intended as information, but your apprehensive voice made it sound like you're asking for his permission instead of letting him know.

Jay tilts his head, looking a bit curious, "For work?"

You take a deep breath before saying, "For you." Your gaze doesn't waver from his face. "If you can somehow forgive me and give me a second chance?" Jay locks eyes on you. His lips stay closed, but his eyes demand more explanation.

"I... realized that what I feel about you is a real deal. These past 8 months, I've been running away, trying to distract myself from my regret. I went back to Amsterdam, thinking I was gonna go home, but instead, it felt like I was walking away from home..."

"But you got your family, friends there. Your job is there. That's the reason you gave me when you left." Jay points out. He doesn't raise his voice, but you hear his upset loudly.

"Yes, they are. But I was too blind to see that I got similar things here as well. That I also have family and friends here.. Amsterdam doesn't feel the same anymore, with the fact that I left my heart here..."

Jay looks doubtful over your words. "I don't understand why you want to do that. How about your work? You're just growing a new career, and I know it's doing very well,"

"No, I don't think I can do it any longer. I hate being on stage. I got these next three months to finish alex&y/n gigs, then I stop touring. Go back to writing and producing behind the stage, which I still love to do. I could do that from anywhere. Might need to travel once in a while, but I believe I can base here."

Jay stays quiet for a moment. You feel your heart beating fast, waiting for his next words, which turn out to be another question. "If I say no, are you not gonna come and stay?"

Your face was crestfallen, your throat felt dry. Thoughts ran around in the back of your mind. If you stay here, you'd be closer to Jay. But if he doesn't want to forgive you, would staying still be better than being far away from him? "I... probably still come back and stay in Chicago." you finally answer him.

A ringing phone interrupts the heartfelt conversation before Jay gives you any response. He picks up his phone without stepping away from you. "Yeah? Okay. Give me 15 minutes." He says to whomever on the phone. Once the call ends, Jay stands up from his seat, "I gotta go."

"Work?" You pry.

"No. It's Hailey. She asks me to go with her for lunch," Jay explains.

"Oh.." Now you really look pathetic. Jealous for someone dear to Jay? Yeah, you certainly are a mess now.

You follow Jay, who already moves to the front door. As he opens the door to let himself out, Jay pauses to look at you. "It's good to see you, Y/N." He sounds so sincere.

You smile softly at him, "Yeah, Jay. It's good to see you too."

◢◤

"So you went to see her? Why?" Hailey exclaims. She cannot comprehend the reason Jay still wanted to meet his ex.

Jay shrugs. "I just... I don't know. I thought if I talked to her, then I would be able to let go and move on."

"And? Could you now?" Hailey confronts him.

"No. It made me miss her more." Jay admits.

Hailey scorns her friend's confession. "You're not even trying to move on, Jay."

"Maybe. I don't know if I want to though," Jay looks out to the street through the cafe's window.

"She's going to leave again. Break your heart again. Is that what you want?" Hailey tries to make Jay sees the real possibility here.

Jay doesn't give her any response. Without Hailey's reminder, he already thought and feared about the same things.

◢◤

"I have to state that this is an absolute misconduct." Hailey declares furiously from the passenger seat. "And I'm still thinking that you're making a wrong choice here."

It's Monday morning. Hailey should've been suspicious when Jay handed her a cup of coffee and a bag of pastry from her favorite bakery. Now they are gunning down to the charter terminal at Chicago Midway as if they're chasing a perp who tries to escape the country. Jay glances at Hailey and smirks, "Your complaint has been received and noted."

Jay turns his focus back on the road. He has been informed where the plane is gonna be. When he finds it, Jay sees you and your team walk to a G5 that's being prepared for their flight.

Jay brakes his car harshly. The loud screeching sound makes you pause and look at the source of the noise. Jay jumps out of the car and approaches you. He sees the surprised look on your face when you realize that he's here. You slowly walk towards Jay, gaping at him but utter no words.

"There months, you say?" Jay asks you with a heavy breath.

You answer wordlessly with a nod, not getting where Jay's going with this.

"I could wait for three months. Or more. As long as you come back to me." Jay tells you seriously.

"Yeah?" You stutter, eyes wide in surprise. "You sure?"

"Never been surer about anything else in my life," Jay states confidently. He sees your face beams, then it turns into a wide grin. Before he knows it, he has you in his arms, squealing happily.

-end-

+x Taglist +x

@shipshipshipau @itsdesiree86 @thevelvetseries @annaallicce

Author Notes : I plan to continue this story with one shots or drabbles, but I don't know when. Please drop me a message/reply if you wanna be tagged for future fics. You are definitely welcome to follow the account. Or you can just wait for them to appear on "Jay Halstead x reader" tag posts. Thank you for all the loves you gave this fic!

[avocado-hater]

My thoughts on AHS Double Feature E9 (SPOILERS)

Neal McDonough and Sarah Paulson are both fair Emmy/Golden Globe/Whatever choices. They're both doing great and i hope Neal comes back for another season. He's great.

Valiant Thor's appearance is one of the worst cgi i've ever witnessed.

Cody Fern always looks constipated but he's so cute! And i love his weird voice.

So, Ike doomed thousands of americans for an Ipod nano?

Mamie hates Eleanor Roosevelt cuz she has a crush on Amelia Earhart and Eleanor and Amelia were more than friends apparently. That's a better theory than Doris being an alien.

I feel like this story is getting really repetitive. They just keep explaining us the same things over and over again and they don't do it in a very entertaining way. It's getting old real quick.

Mamie just fucked Valiant Thor.

We didn't get Mistelia, Austin and Harry=no canon, The Chemist and Ursula didn't even kiss, but HEY! We just got an extremly unnecesary sex scene between Mamie Eisenhower and a robot alien guy just because. FUCK YOU RYAN MURPHY.

This is too campy. I can't take this anymore.

So, another conspiracy, they killed Marilyn cuz she knew too much.

I was expecting more when it comes to the modern days story cuz of the cliffhanger from last week episode but this is just bad.

Why is he explaining it again? Gosh THIS SHOW NEEDS BETTER WRITERS! He wanted to get rid of the thing a few minutes ago and now he's a better mom than Doris?

I liked Calico's backstory for some reason, but i also hate it, and i don't know why.

This episode was pretty meh. Valiant Thor is pretty meh. Mamie is a girlboss. The ending was SPECTACULAR. I loved the octopus baby.

Nico Greetham is doing great. I hope he comes back, plus, he really appreciates being in AHS.

This season is basically conspiracies and how ridiculous they are. Red Tide is about what would it be if famous people were actual inhuman monsters (reptilians theory, cannibals theory) and Death Valley is just campy Area 51 theories. Good premise, awfully executed. Death Valley is more of a sci-fi show. Red Tide was actual horror but they messed it up.

[ask-purpled-and-blued]

Traitor

Is it really a betrayal if he was never on their side?

He’d offered once or twice. To join his friends in their adventures and endeavors. Offered to raise his axe and sword in their defense on multiple occassions.

And yet, after the scuffles ended and the dust settled, everyone would just go their separate ways. Back to their builds, their projects, their bits.

Much as people like to go off about unity, Purpled wasn’t seeing any. Not before or after that nation rose up overnight.

Oh, another thing. Nobody really asked where he stood on that either.

Sure, maybe they assumed he was siding with Dream because of how he and Ponk had gotten roped into that drug van bust at the very start. But so much has changed and happened since and nobody’s thought to ask him. Not Dream’s side nor this “L’Manberg.”

If he was being honest, he didn’t expect it to last.

If Dream wanted it gone for real, he’d follow through on his threat to blow it sky high. And even its own people weren’t too loyal to it either if Eret’s little performance was to be believed.

That was fun to watch. He’d have to give X-1 something special for going out all on its own to collect the war footage. That was the kind of initiative he loved to see from his creations.

He didn’t get to complete every project he’d thought up while building Area 51, but out of all of them he’s glad he made good on this one.

X-1 was originally intended to help map out caves and help him navigate in the Nether, but it’s become so much more since its completion. Helping him keep tabs on people and keep up to date on all the drama so he knows who not to cross.

X-2 came after he realized that X-1 had so much potential. It’s capable of lifting up to 35 pounds and it’s pretty good at grabbing things regardless of their shape. X-2 can even lift and swing an axe if it needs to. He designed it so that it could split itself in half to fit through slab-sized gaps and then reassemble itself afterwards.

He sets them to protect his stuff while he’s away at Hypixel and gets updates sometimes of would-be thieves screaming that his UFO is haunted.

Serves them right.

But he’s home for a few weeks, so he has plenty of time to pour over the recordings and think about where to go from here.

L’Manberg’s pretty new. Sure, they’re wounded and their nerves must be fried even after they’ve secured their independence, but it wouldn’t be that hard to work his way into some position of worth. If he wanted to he could join up with them and help them get some actual defenses. Maybe even just be a regular citizen and hang out with his friends.

But there’s also Dream to consider. He’s obviously not happy about how this war turned out. L’Manberg may have put up a fight, but at the end of the day this is Dream’s server. The moment he decides they’ve overstepped, it’s over.

Would it be better to side with Dream from the start then? To offer up his PvP skills and his engineering expertise and side with the safest option? Would it get him anywhere or would he just be a piece on Dream’s side of the board that he’d discard at any moment?

Does he even want to play?

It’s only been a few days since the war, but he can see how things are shifting.

Lines are drawn, promises made, bridges scorched beyond repair.

What would he play for?

He’s been on this server for a good while now. He’s talked to most of these people, heard all of them.

And quite honestly, he’s not sure why he’s still here.

He’s got a career, his income’s steady. He doesn’t really need the clout these people and this server bring him.

Sure, he’s built stuff and he’s got pets now.

The UFO is fully operational and can be driven out of here, his dogs have already been to his Hypixel house and are chill with it, and X-1 and X-2 could probably be repurposed to help with a Skyblock island or something. He can find something for them to do.

Yeah, he’s made friends here and it’s been kinda cool learning the ins and out of Survival.

He has friends on Hypixel and outside of it. He can go fuck off to a single-player if he wants the full Survival experience. Maybe even take up Creative again if he really only wants to build.

The more time goes by the less people he sees and the more he thinks about this.

By the time he decides to pack up and just leave, X-1 alerts him to some drama. An election, apparently.

...

Schlatt-

Schlatt doesn’t even live here. Why the fuck does he care about the server’s politics?

Unless...

Unless it’s because he doesn’t live here.

If Schlatt loses the election, it means nothing. A waste of time and effort, but he doesn’t need to deal with the fallout. He can just leave.

And isn’t that an idea.

—

Purpled goes up to Tubbo the next day and says that whatever happens, he wishes L’Manberg the best. He hasn’t said much about it, but he respects what they’ve got going on. If they ever need an extra set of hands, he’s there to help.

Purpled goes up to Quackity not even ten minutes later and congratulates him on his campaign so far. Says that from the outside, it’s clear that Quackity’s got the right idea. He’s glad that Quackity’s running and keeping the country’s best interest in mind, even if Purpled himself’s not a part of it.

Purpled drops by for a chat with Schlatt that same afternoon and tells him that this is gonna be a train wreck. Smiles and adds that Schlatt better not disappoint if he wins. They all want a good show.

On his way out of the walls he runs into Fundy and very generously offers his services if it seems like the votes aren’t going his way. It’d be a shame to see such a well-meaning party lose because of a bunch of pessimistic assholes. That, and he wants ice cream.

And in the evening, he meets up with Dream and says that the election is the dumbest things he’s ever seen. Yeah, he thought L’Manberg’s whole deal was a bit excessive, but he thought they at least had their shit together. If they’re willing to pass their leadership off to some dude who was banned then they clearly need to be kept in check.

He tells everybody what he knows they want to hear. Keeps to himself but always seems to turn up right when someone needs a pep talk. Right when they need someone to help set them straight and clear up any doubts.

Eventually he comes clean to Dream about his new pastime. Admits to having his hands in a bit of everything just for fun. Just until he decides it’s not his thing anymore and he goes off to Hypixel and never comes back.

Dream respects it, asks if he’s willing to spill some of the tea. Purpled is ever so glad he asked.

—

He’s confident he can get away with it.

Half the server forgets he exists entirely and the other half think he’s a harmless neutral just putting in his two cents.

The only person who knows better is apparently a literal Dreamon and has hurt so many people on this server. If he ever does snitch, they’d never believe him.

And if they do believe him. If they do every catch Purpled in the act or realize he doesn’t have their best interests at heart.

Well, he’s got a nice Hypixel home with his dogs waiting for him and bedwars lobbies where his friends will gladly collab with him.

Unlike Eret who had a bit of a change of heart.

Unlike Techno who let himself show vulnerability despite it all.

Unlike Dream and Schlatt who got too invested in their train wrecks.

Purpled’s got his head in the game, but more more than that. His heart’s where his home is.

And that’s certainly not here.

[princessamericachavez]

I love old cheesy sci-fi movies and Independence Day hits all the right spots for me.

It has Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith.

It has a ridiculously inflated sense of American patriotism.

It implies Area 51 exists and knew about aliens all along but no one told the president.

The president, by the way, is a combat pilot apparently and extremely over dramatic.

Handsome USA president while giving a killer smolder at his secretary of defense: I’m a combat pilot. My place is in the air.

THATS RIGHT THE FUCKING PRESIDENT LEADS THE FINAL STRIKE AGAINST THE ALIENS.

Also it includes a convoluted plan where two characters have to sneak into the mother ship to deactivate the aliens’ shields.

Also did I mention “this is our Independence Day!” is just hilariously true to the way Americans always think they are the protagonists of anything going on in the world?

British general: Its the Americans! They have a counter strike planed!

British general no.2: about time!

YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP

The aliens look like that New Mexico conspiracy theory photo

They use telepathy

Did I mention Jeff Goldblum is at his post-Jurassic Park prime and super hot and that his brilliant plan involves giving the mother ship a computer virus WITH A 90’s LAPTOP?!?!

I fucking love this movie so much.

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[jenniferisacommonname]

Bonus Level Unlocked

This week marks the release of Jason Schreier’s Press Reset, an incredibly well-researched book on catastrophic business failure in the gaming industry. Jason’s a good dude, and there’s an excerpt here if you want to check it out. Sadly, game companies going belly-up is such a common occurrence that he couldn’t possibly include them all, and one of the stories left out due to space constraints is one that I happen to be personally familiar with. So, I figured I’d tell it here.

I began working at Acclaim Studios Austin as a sound designer in January of 2000. It was a tumultuous period for the company, including a recent rebranding from their former studio name, “Iguana Entertainment,” and a related, ongoing lawsuit from the ex-founder of Iguana. There were a fair number of ghosts hanging around—the creative director’s license plate read IGUANA, which he never changed, and one of the meeting rooms held a large, empty terrarium—but the studio had actually been owned on paper by Acclaim since 1995, and I didn’t notice any conflicting loyalties. Everyone acted as if we always had been, and always would be, Acclaim employees.

Over the next few years I worked on a respectable array of triple-A titles, including Quarterback Club 2002, Turok: Evolution, and All-Star Baseball 2002 through 2005. (Should it be “All-Stars Baseball,” like attorneys general? Or perhaps a term of venery, like “a zodiac of All-Star Baseball.”) At any rate, it was a fun place to work, and a platformer of hijinks ensued.

But let’s skip to the cutscene. The truth is that none of us in the trenches suspected the end was near until it was absolutely imminent. Yes, Turok: Evolution and Vexx had underperformed, especially when stacked against the cost of development, but games flop in the retail market all the time. And, yes, Showdown: Legends of Wrestling had been hustled out the door before it was ready for reasons no one would explain, and the New York studio’s release of a BMX game featuring unlockable live-action stripper footage had been an incredibly weird marketing ploy for what should have been a straightforward racing title. (Other desperate gimmicks around this time included a £6,000 prize for UK parents who would name their baby “Turok,” an offer to pay off speeding tickets to promote Burnout 2 that quickly proved illegal, and an attempt to buy advertising space on actual tombstones for a Shadow Man sequel.)

But the baseball franchise was an annual moneymaker, and our studio had teams well into development on two major new licenses, 100 Bullets and The Red Star. Enthusiasm was on the upswing. Perhaps I should have paid closer attention when voice actors started calling me to complain that they hadn’t been paid, but at the time it seemed more like a bureaucratic failure than an actual money shortage—and frankly, it was a little naïve of them to expect net-30 in the first place. Industry standard was, like, net-90 at best. So I was told.

Then one Friday afternoon, a few department managers got word that we’d kind of maybe been skipping out on the building lease for let’s-not-admit-how-many months. By Monday morning, everyone’s key cards had been deactivated.

It's a little odd to arrive at work and find a hundred-plus people milling around outside—even odder, I suppose, if your company is not the one being evicted. Acclaim folks mostly just rolled their eyes and debated whether to cut our losses and head to lunch now, while employees of other companies would look dumbfounded and fearful before being encouraged to push their way through the crowd and demonstrate their still-valid key card to the security guard. Finally, the General Manager (hired only a few months earlier, and with a hefty relocation bonus to accommodate his houseboat) announced that we should go home for the day and await news. Several of our coworkers were veterans of the layoff process—like I said, game companies go under a lot—and one of them had already created a Yahoo group to communicate with each other on the assumption that we’d lose access to our work email. A whisper of “get on the VPN and download while you can” rippled through the crowd.

But the real shift in tone came after someone asked about a quick trip inside for personal items, and the answer was a hard, universal “no.” We may have been too busy or ignorant to glance up at any wall-writing, but the building management had not been: they were anticipating a full bankruptcy of the entire company. In that situation, all creditors have equal standing to divide up a company's assets in lengthy court battles, and most get a fraction of what they’re owed. But if the landlords had seized our office contents in lieu of rent before the bankruptcy was declared, they reasoned, then a judge might rule that they had gotten to the treasure chest first, and could lay claim to everything inside as separate from the upcoming asset liquidation.

Ultimately, their gambit failed, but the ruling took a month to settle. In the meantime, knick knacks gathered dust, delivered packages piled up, food rotted on desks, and fish tanks became graveyards. Despite raucous protest from every angle—the office pets alone generated numerous threats of animal cruelty charges—only one employee managed to get in during this time, and only under police escort. He was a British citizen on a work visa, and his paperwork happened to be sitting on his desk, due to expire. Without it, he was facing literal deportation. Fortunately, a uniformed officer took his side (or perhaps just pre-responded to what was clearly a misdemeanor assault in ovo,) and after some tense discussion, the building manager relented, on the condition that the employee touch absolutely nothing beyond the paperwork in question. The forms could go, but the photos of his children would remain.

It’s also a little odd, by the way, to arrive at the unemployment office and find every plastic chair occupied by someone you know. Even odder, I suppose, if you’re actually a former employee of Acclaim Studios Salt Lake, which had shut down only a month or two earlier, and you just uprooted your wife and kids to a whole new city on the assurance that you were one of the lucky ones who got to stay employed. Some of them hadn’t even finished unpacking.

Eventually, we were allowed to enter the old office building one at a time and box up our things under the watchful eye of a court appointee, but by then our list of grievances made the landlords’ ploy seem almost quaint by comparison (except for the animals, which remains un-fucking-forgivable.) We had learned, for example, that in the weeks prior to the bankruptcy, our primary lender had made an offer of $15 million—enough to keep us solvent through our next batch of releases, two of which had already exited playtesting and were ready to be burned and shipped. The only catch was that the head of the board, company founder Greg Fischbach, would have to step down. This was apparently too much of an insult for him to stomach, and he decided that he'd rather see everything burn to the ground. The loan was refused.

Other “way worse than we thought” details included gratuitous self-dealing to vendors owned by board members, the disappearance of expensive art from the New York offices just before closure, and the theft of our last two paychecks. For UK employees, it was even more appalling: Acclaim had, for who knows how long, been withdrawing money from UK paychecks for their government-required pension funds, but never actually putting the money into the retirement accounts. They had stolen tens of thousands of dollars directly from each worker.

Though I generally reside somewhere between mellow and complete doormat on the emotional spectrum, I did get riled enough to send out one bitter email—not to anyone in corporate, but to the creators of a popular webcomic called Penny Arcade, who, in the wake of Acclaim’s bankruptcy announcement, published a milquetoast jibe about Midway’s upcoming Area 51. I told Jerry (a.k.a. “Tycho”) that I was frankly disappointed in their lack of cruelty, and aired as much dirty laundry as I was privy to at the time.

“Surely you can find a comedic gem hidden somewhere in all of this!” I wrote. “Our inevitable mocking on PA has been a small light at the end of a very dark, very long tunnel. Please at least allow us the dignity of having a smile on our faces while we wait in line for food stamps.”

Two days later, a suitably grim comic did appear, implying the existence of a new release from Acclaim whose objective was to run your game company into the ground. In the accompanying news post, Tycho wrote:

“We couldn’t let the Acclaim bankruptcy go without comment, though we initially let it slide thinking about the ordinary gamers who lost their jobs there. They don’t have anything to do with Acclaim’s malevolent Public Relations mongrels, and it wasn’t they who hatched the Titty Bike genre either. Then, we remembered that we have absolutely zero social conscience and love to say mean things.”

Another odd experience, by the way, is digging up a 16-year-old complaint to a webcomic creator for nostalgic reference when you offer that same creator a promotional copy of the gaming memoir you just co-wrote with Sid Meier. Even odder, I suppose, to realize that the original non-Acclaim comic had been about Area 51, which you actually were hired to work on yourself soon after the Acclaim debacle.*

As is often the case in complex bankruptcies, the asset liquidation took another six years to fully stagger its way through court—but in 2010, we did, surprisingly, get the ancient paychecks we were owed, plus an extra $1,700-ish for the company’s apparent violation of the WARN Act. By then, I had two kids and a very different life, for which the money was admittedly helpful. Sadly, Acclaim’s implosion probably isn’t even the most egregious one on record. Our sins were, to my knowledge, all money-related, and at least no one was ever sexually assaulted in our office building. Again, to my knowledge. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure we remain the only historical incident of corporate pet murder. The iguana got out just in time.

*Area 51’s main character was voiced by David Duchovny, and he actually got paid—which was lucky for him, because three years later, Midway also declared bankruptcy.