#but anyways there's lots of stuff that people keep marking as harmful towards some of my communities that just. arent imo

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

The inimitable Noralities did an excellent video on being Tired of 1000-year-old Lolis.

I feel like a similar handwaving I'm getting sick of is Isekai Protags Who Buy Slaves.

There's a basic, and then a separate meta, level of handwaving there. And it gets really gross really fast.

A lot of them play it as, "well, he buys her and he releases her and she's grateful so she sticks around" and that's still got some notable problems and that is the least offensive of what I've seen.

Far more of them keep the girl as a slave and she buys into the social expectations around that so he doesn't have to maintain the aesthetics of her being enslaved - he doesn't have to keep her locked up at night so she won't slit his throat in his sleep. The slave girls in these stories never seek freedom. After all, they have one of the good masters! He's one of the good ones, ladies. And this is the thing. It's a callback to an imagined good ol' days when women submitted and this arrangement of kindly male masters and subservient wives clearly made everyone happier.

In some of these the guy even leaves on a magic mark that would act like a shock collar if she were disobedient. But she won't be, so it's no problem! Don't think about it. It's fine.

Some of them also dip into the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, with the girl having spent all her time in a filthy cage and therefore being socially inexperienced (oh but also having perfect skin. Didn't you know that being beaten and spending all your time sleeping on straw and stone gives you perfect skin?)

Anyway the meta bit is, of course, that part of why the protagonist is treating it as okay is because the world is often a close relative of some game he's played. Which means his real-in-the-narrative gross morals are being derived from his own poor reading of the moral situation around how to treat game systems if they become real?

Like, there's an argument to be made that if you could discern that you were in a simulation and the simulated entities were really not thinking or feeling, then acting out bad impulses wouldn't be harming any actual people. But a) these slaves are always treated as real people by the narrative and b) they're also treated as real people by the protags who buy them and then treat them as property. There is not an attempt made to judge whether they're false people, before the decision is made that it's fine to treat them as property. The protag just decides it's okay because everything else is running on game logic, so why not follow the local moral mores too?

My opinion is that the trope does well because of some pretty rampant sexism: a desire to treat a woman as property and have that be seen as morally acceptable - possibly even righteous - by the community. But this "righteous" vibe generally requires the slavekeeping system he decides to partake in to be more monstrous, and then most of these authors do a bad job of making the protag even show distaste toward the whole slave trade. Not even a "Wow, that's fucked up. Can't do anything about it as a level 2 fighter. Maybe I'll put a pin in that one and come back to burn this industry down when I'm more powerful."

To be entirely honest, I feel like fucking OVERLORD is on more stable moral ground on this front. He's got a bunch of obedient waifus, but that's because they see him as God, because he literally created them. Any sexism there is much more "man of the house" kind of stuff, and Overlord does a nice job of undercutting all the sex stuff attached to the trope by making the protagonist Magically Ace (seriously, when he encounters sexual situations a magical effect he has no control over snaps him out of being aroused automatically).

I dunno. I could probably keep going but I think I've penned enough of my thoughts for the moment.

[livums]

Happy STS!

What is something you hope readers will take away from your WIP that is not easily explained in a summary? Any particular themes, emotions or vibes?

~tabswrites

Happy STS Tess!!

This question made me think a lot....

I think the most important thing my readers could take away from my work is that human relationships, the ones closest and dearest to us, are often complicated in a way that can make us (as readers, as people) very uncomfortable to observe directly... if that makes sense.

People behave in shameful and harmful and destructive (and self-destructive) ways where hearts are involved. And these behaviors are cyclical--systems (relationships) tend towards keeping these same sequences in place, even if they are undesirable, even if we want to be free of them.

I think control in relationships (between siblings, between parent and child, friends, lovers) is a very interesting topic to explore. This shows up a lot in The Marking Blood and in a different form in The Romance of the Demigods. That people need to feel a semblance of control in their lives, yeah, but what stokes a need to really exert that control? How do people behave when control is denied? What sorts of things do people fear in the absence of control? Stuff like that. I think that's a very interesting thing to write and to read in fiction.

And one of my very distant and lofty hopes is that by reading some of the work that I produce, people might come away with a better understanding of what their own intra- and interpersonal cycles of behavior look like, and do those cycles serve them, that sort of thing. And that feeling negative/uncomfortable feelings is normal, but it's how you respond to these feelings and act towards others that influence your future thoughts/feelings, which influence future behaviors, and on and on.

ANYWAYS ramble over. such a great question! 💜

[cinnamonellele]

.

[ajaxwrites]

GENSHIN IMPACT FANFIC REC LIST II

(previous: part i)

Seaglass by Aevas

There was more to the contract than a gnosis and test of Liyue. It seemed like a simple deal five hundred years ago: so long as Morax never had a soulmate, the Tsaritsa would never harm Liyue and she would not get his gnosis. But the moment he gained a soulmate, all that belonged to him was forfeit. He thought the deal left Liyue safe—he'd lived thousands of years without a soulmate. The Tsaritsa would be dead and gone by the time she'd have a chance to collect.

Five hundred years later, Childe appears in Liyue, Zhongli gains a soulmate mark, and everything falls apart.

(The obligatory soulmate AU, featuring a Zhongli with PTSD, an oblivious Childe, and demon-worshipping cultists.)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I CANNOT BELIEVE I SLEPT ON THIS FIC FOR SO LONG. Read it and I mean it! I admitted initially steered clear of this fic because I wasn’t comforted with a soulmate tartali fic pre-Osial but this fic is actually post-Ostial *facepalm* The writing is phenomenal and Aevas does some beautiful worldbuilding that you typically don’t see in Genshin Impact fics. I love the dynamic between Childe and Zhongli here and the angst is real. The author writes the two as very human characters who makes mistakes, etc. and notably Zhongli struggles with the concept of Childe as his soulmate (who understandably is upset by the rejection when he realizes). They get better though. Also very plotty. A+ writing.

it's a hard rock life for us by reptilianraven

“Ah, no need to worry about that,” Azhdaha waves a dismissive hand. “There is no real Kun Jun. He’s dead.”

A leaf blows past and plaps onto Aether’s face.

“You killed him???” Paimon screeches.

“No,” Azhdaha scrunches his eyebrows. “He was dead when I found him.”

“And you just decided to wear his corpse?” Aether says, leaf still on his face.

He shrugs. “It was free real estate.”

“Azhdaha...” Morax says, sounding vaguely pained.

-

Or the one where Historia Antiqua Chapter II: No Mere Stone goes a little bit different and Azhdaha gets more time.

He ultimately uses that time to bully Morax into confronting his immortal neuroses, to make Aether and Paimon suffer, and to figure out how to get that ginger boy Morax has his eye on to make a move already.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Past Azhdaha/Zhongli

Notes: Very lighthearted, humor-filled fic. Love how Azhdaha is so flippant. Interactions with Zhongli and Childe are pure gold.

if there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes by moonlight_mist

Childe has a Weapon problem- specifically, that he can't keep one.

He's too reckless, too wild, and too keen on pushing his Weapon partners past their limits. He's just about ready to give up when he meets Zhongli, a Weapon who just might be the solution- so long as Childe can manage to keep his dick in his pants.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a Soul Eater AU with some college/university AU vibes (?) but you don’t really need to know much about the anime. It’s a cute AU and I love the premise. Light angst but otherwise, it’s a pretty semi-plotty fic. Easter egg Kaeya and Diluc though.

To Kill A God by IlluminanceinTales

In Snezhnaya, they call them sansis—lost souls that have no guidance but themselves. It’s an apt description, given that most of the time, wannabe-Archons have to go through dozens of tests with nothing as their reference, relying solely on their wit and strength and hoping it would be enough. At least, until they survive the end of the whole game—and they might not have to undergo a painful reincarnation which feels like a hundred bones being stitched together again.

On his seventh game, Childe Tartaglia reincarnates this time in the body of a young man.

Damn, he thinks, looking down at his thin body, his slightly calloused fingers. This won’t be good when facing the other Hydro Decisions.

In a world where an Archon's position is not chosen but fought for in games, Childe Tartaglia is a Hydro Decision who's poised to become the next Hydro Archon. Of course, that's only if he survives his seventh reincarnation. All would be so much easier if it weren't for a certain Geo Archon interfering with every possible chance he gets.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Think Hunger Games meet Political Intrigue meet Genshin Impact. Love the premise and world building that’s done. Features overprotective Zhongli and lots of Childe whump. Has one or two supplementary OCs that aren’t really important outside of plot device reasons. Warning for character death tho lmao.

Three's a Family by IlluminanceinTales

Childe finds a kid that looks just like him.

Of course Zhongli wants to keep him.

Or: How a harbinger and an archon accidentally become fathers. The kid is their wingman

Ships: Childe/Zhongli (?)

Notes: Your everyday cute AF kid fic. Fluffy as hell and super cute. Zhongli and Childe get domestic pretty quickly. Xiao gets dubbed a grandfather and begrudgingly plays along. Super wholesome.

in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape by snowbrigade

He glanced down at him, at the silvery scars peeking out from beneath his robe, and at his eyes, properly now. They were the bright blue of high quality noctilucous jade, but he could see it, an underlying darkness.

Zhongli wondered what his eyes betrayed about himself. --

Rex Lapis is dead. Zhongli, formerly known as triad leader Rex Lapis, is a detective investigating his own "death." Childe, also known as Tartaglia of the Fatui mafia, is undercover as an escort looking to kill Rex Lapis- until someone beats him to it, and he wants to know who. Goals intersecting, they form a partnership of ulterior motives.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: There’s like one scene that skews NSFW but otherwise surprisingly not explicit. Really fun AU. Like how the author addresses Childe’s reaction to being stuck with the undercover escort stuff and how the dynamic between the two develops. Pretty plotty so far.

Phantom Lines by iskendaris

“It’s a measure of one’s self, Mr Zhongli.” Childe says. “Maybe you don’t understand it since you work as a consultant, but as an ambassador from the Tsaritsa, as one who fights in her name— this is how I learn to know the measure of myself.” “I understand,” Zhongli says thoughtfully. “It is a warrior’s way, to test one’s strength against the incomparable. To find where one falls short. To find where one has risen to the challenge.”

In which Childe has insomnia, vandalizes public property and runs into a mysterious funeral consultant on his first night in Liyue.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: THE FEELS. I can only describe this as the fic where Zhongli pays Best Boyfriend Ever only to FUCK UP big time (via Gnosis deception). Poor, poor Childe. Look, he gave the boy feelings and then broke him. You can really feel Childe fall in love in this love. He also does mental swooning a lot lmao. 

adventitious by Anonymous

It's said the Ley Lines remember all things that happen in this world, from the surface down to the deepest depths... But in the hidden corners where the Gods' gaze does not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming.

There's a dormant bud where Kaeya's eye once was. One day, it will bloom. (Never forget: memory is untrustworthy.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: I don’t even know where to start. This is very headcanony and lore-focused. Very much concentrated on Khaenri'ah. The implications of this story is grotesque to say the least (according to this fic, Visions are the literal eyes of the people of Khaenri'ah). Warnings for eye and body horror.

Without Those Dark Memories by StrangeDiamond

Diluc awakens in Stormterror’s Lair with no memories of the past five years. Kaeya is on the trail of a rogue alchemist, with a habit of testing his chemicals on unwilling human subjects. Now, in addition to capturing the criminal, Kaeya has to shake him down for an antidote . . . and deal with an amnesiac Diluc who acts exactly like he did before their brotherhood fell apart. (Standalone Fic.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: This is sort of a classic amnesia fic. I particularly really liked the way that Kaeya was written in this. I feel like the author did a really good job nailing his character and they have a way of capturing the subtle things.

Through the warmth, through the cold by strikedawn

“It’s you!” Paimon shouted with a twirl in mid-air.

“…Excuse me?"

They were drunk. Were they drunk? Was he drunk? Because Kaeya had the feeling his guests had been talking to him for a while now, but none of their words had made any sense whatsoever.

That was, until Venti stepped firmly in front of Kaeya’s desk and set his hands on the top, the better to lean over towards Kaeya and say: “For the end of the Windblume festival, Sir Kaeya Alberich, we’re going to auction a date with you.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Shortword, Kaeya gets auctioned off. Diluc makes impulsive (but good) decisions and scores himself a Date but displays an inability to do Date Planning. Venti deserves a pat on the back. Very sweet.

Hide and Seek by Kiri_Kaitou_Clover

Childe did not expect regaining his memories would bring him such frustration.

He makes the best of the situation by messing with one amber eyed consultant in anyway he can.

A reincarnated storm god wades through life in Liyue, all while screaming about one dragon god's incompetency at being human.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Features Childe as Osial’s very exasperated reincarnation, who gets the joy of discovering that his rival/enemy Morax is not only an idiot but also broke AF. He still falls in love anyway. Contains this golden line: 

"Did... did that complete blockhead really use my money in order to get me a gift that basically says that he is proposing to me?!"

(Osial was screaming. When had the other god become like this?! Had he always been like this?!)

Getting that Bread by tzitzimeme

Concubine AU where Zhongli is Emperor, Xiao is an assassin sent to kill him while disguised as a woman in his imperial harem, and the only reason he doesn't actually do it is because he pities Zhongli for being so catastrophically stupid (also Xiao falls in love).

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao

Notes: Like Xiao says, Zhongli is an idiot. Fluff and humor filled. Xiao spends a good 95% of this exasperated by Zhongli’s bullshit. 

prayers for a boy by Recluse

The only way to reconciliation is fierce combat!

Hm... Come to think of it, there will be a lot of interesting news to be heard the next time we gather for drinks. Filling in the blanks.

Ships: N/A

Notes: I...don’t really know where to begin with this? It’s exactly what the summary implies...but more? I was tempted to describe this as the fic where Zhongli puts his foot in his mouth but...that’s not exactly write? I feel like this was more of a character study. It explores the aftermath of the Osial Incident and how Zhongli and Childe reconnect. Platonically...though I guess it can be read romantically. 

one kind of longing, two places of sorrow by lady_peony

Zhongli's hands rest behind his back, both gloved hands clasping one another. His fingers tighten around one another for the merest moment, before he relaxes his grip.

"There is a tradition in Liyue," Zhongli says, his back still to Childe standing behind him, "of inviting out a companion to a last meal before a farewell."

A pause.

"A tradition?" Childe echoes.

"Yes."

"With a companion?"

"Yes."

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic where neither of the two communicate about jackshit but go on a quiet, sad not-date before Childe leaves for Snezhnaya. Childe pulls (? on accident or on purpose, I can not tell) the equivalent of leaving the jacket in the car post-date to get date to call for the second date. Also, the author has a gift for like...writing angst...without writing angst? Like the whole fic is like brimming with everything that the characters aren’t saying but the thoughts aren’t necessarily written out BUT YOU KNOW THOSE DUMBFUCKS ARE JUST LIKE. BRIMMING WITH FEELS? 

The People of Liyue by queer_occurrences

But Zhongli whispers, his low voice rooted in the back of Childe’s mind. “Changsun, the merchant, who is never too Mora-enthralled to turn away a needy child. There’s Tiantian—she will allow anyone to join the Adventurer’s Guild—she knows what it is to be desperate.”

Childe ducks away from them and hurries out over the bridge. It’s a warm, sunny day, the kind he would have complained about, whining about his delicate Snezhnayan skin. “It’ll burn, or worse, freckle. Would you still like me if I was freckled?”

Then Zhongli would say, “The people of Liyue will remember your sacrifice.” And he would wrinkle his nose.

Or: after it all goes down, Childe takes a walk.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The author has a way with perfectly balancing angst with humor in a way that makes you cackle. There’s a lot of feels in this one. Zhongli tries communicating--Childe runs away a lot. There’s a lot of love for Liyue in this one.

cold blooded, warm blooded, hearts all the same by reptilianraven

Teyvat Petting Zoo @tyvtpettingzoo

Well would you look at that! Zhongli, our resident spinytail iguana, has gotten quite cozy with Childe, our new (and very feisty) ginger ferret! Aren’t they adorable all cuddled together like this? 😍😍😍

[Attached image shows a brown spinytail iguana curled up against a ginger ferret. The iguana’s head is nuzzled under the snout of the ferret.]

-

At the Teyvat Petting Zoo, Zhongli and Childe fall in love.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: ...I promise I’m not weird. This is just super cute. Cross-species love affair? Childe the ferret is very besotted. The internet is confused and the zoo keepers are just done.

a geo archon's guide to the modern era by Erina

“Morax,” Xiao says after Zhongli finishes his retelling of the incident. “He thinks you’re a weirdo.”

“No, don’t say that,” Barbatos snickers. “You’ll give him hope that this is salvageable.” He lowers his voice. “Morax, he thinks you’re a boomer.”

(In which Zhongli hibernates for centuries and wakes up in the modern world)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This took me, I shit you not, FIVE SEPARATE ATTEMPTS to read. Not because it was bad but BECAUSE THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WAS REAL. Like, omg, just reading about Zhongli’s introduction to modernity made me want to dig a hole and die. Super funny though. Do not read in public or you will look like a lunatic. Has a...parallel (?) fic in the same series called  buy two get one archon free where Zhongli gets reversed isekai’d into an anime convention.

time flies like an arrow by Erina

He’s tired, tired of the unbreakable loop of watching his loved ones pass on, tired of getting attached only for the connection to be violently ripped away from him. He wonders if the real victors during the Archon War were those who perished, who died long before their godhood turned into a curse that chained them to the land that they were fighting for.

But that is not a problem for Childe to worry about. That is Zhongli’s burden to bear, delivered to him in a pretty package years ago in the form of a gnosis.

His very first contract.

(Zhongli and Childe, across many lifetimes)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a quiet fic. It’s this kind of slice-of-life fic colored by this overpowering sense of love and loss as Zhongli remains immortal and Childe dies and lives and dies and lives for hundreds of lifetimes, but always finds his way back to his geo archon. It’s so lovely but also unbearably sad.

Tartaglia’s Favorite Professor by GreyLiliy

The famed hitman Tartaglia of the Fatui Syndicate spends his days as the charming college student Childe. The two lives remain as separate as possible in order to maintain a flawless cover to keep the authorities off his back and to better serve the Tsaritsa.

However, new intel about a rival syndicate intersects his two lives in a way he could never have predicted.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Mafia AU meet College AU. Childe is somehow both a horny AF college student and murderous hitman. Zhongli gives off major DILF vibes. GreyLily somehow makes this work while also avoiding cringe. Highly recommended!

like a handprint on my heart by fallingintodivinity

“Strictly off-the-record,” Jean says, with a small smile, “I’m really happy to see you and Captain Kaeya getting along again, Master Diluc.”

“We’re not – we’re not getting along,” Diluc tells her, indignant. “We’re working together. Unwillingly, I might add.”

“Yes – oh, yes, of course.”

Diluc stares at Jean suspiciously. “Are you laughing at me?”

Jean clears her throat primly. “I would never.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Super, super cute! Sort of reads like a first date fic except genshin impact style? Writing style is very refreshing!

[heyheyloki]

No One Important

Summary: You’ve been by Shigaraki’s side since you both were little, you knew everything about him as he did you. When you get arrested, you’re questioned with how deep the relationship between the two of you go.

Shigaraki Tomura x M!Reader

Word Count: 2405

The room was cold, dimly lit. It was your worse nightmare come true. The one time you weren’t careful, the one single time, and now you end up here. In the custody of the police who caught you red handed. You knew you were going to be sent to jail, and while you kept a cool head about it on the outside, on the inside you were freaking. You were never fond of the idea of jail, hell, you don’t know if anyone really is. But jail wasn’t why you started to grip your hands harder together. The simple and short reason just came down to a person, and that person was Shigaraki Tomura. The leader of the League of Villains that have set a seed of fear within Japan itself. 

Your body sat in a metal chair, your wrists cuffed to the metal table in front of you. Seriously, in times like these, you really wish you had Shigaraki’s decay quick. Sadly, yours won’t help get you out of this mess.

For some reason, you thought it would be hours before someone actually comes in to interrogate you. Although, when that single door opened, you were proved wrong. Another man, much older, walked in. His appearance itself was plan and had nothing noticeable about him, but you do remember his face since he was the officer that gave you a look that made you pissed off to your very core when they brought you in.

When he sat down, he just stared at you. You, staring back, held a look that the cop thought could only be held by a killer. It was dark, cold, and distant. One that surged with unbelievable darkness and would swallow anyone whole into an empty abyss if they looked long enough. 

“I don’t think I need to tell you that no matter what, you will be heading off to jail.” He started out saying, even his voice average. “But, if you work with me, we can make you an offer.”

You scowled. “And here I thought the cops don’t work with people like me.”

“Well, if you have information we need, we’ll work with anyone.” He explained.

“Fucking hypocrites,” you uttered under your breath. It seriously took everything in your power not to start grinding your teeth since you knew he would take it as a sign of fear when it actuality, you were just pissed off beyond belief.

The cop took a minute of silence, collecting his thoughts before he opened up a tan colored folder, the contents stock piled with stuff about the League of Villains. It held a few theories in there, witness statements from UA students during the attack, and a statement from Izuku Midoryia. You knew him since Shigaraki couldn’t ever shut up about how much he hates the damned brat. You didn’t care much for kids. 

“Your leader, Shigaraki Tomura, how long have you known him?” He asked. 

Your lips remained closed as you eyed down the cop. Both of you knew that you wouldn’t start talking unless he had something over your head, and jail didn’t seem to be something effective enough. Though, in your mind, you were ready to screw up their investigation. It was the perfect opportunity in the more imperfect situation.

“A few years.” You lied, your words stern as you use one of your best skills. 

The cop took a second to write that down on a new page in his folder, a page just for you. After all, you were the second more dangerous threat to them. First being Shigaraki. 

“He recruited you? Or did you seek him out?” He questioned, his voice a bit more lighter than before.

“He sought me out.” You confessed. “I just so happened to have skills that weren’t being put to use and he was there.”

The cop nodded, writing it down. You thought he would just ask another simple question, but before he did he pulled out a picture from his folder. It was of Izuku Midoriya. 

“Do you know him?”

“No.”

“Did you know Shigaraki was targeting him?”

“Not at all.”

You sat there, watching as the cop’s sights narrowed on your face. It was clear to you he knew something was wrong, but you seemed to genuine in not knowing much about the boy. You could tell it was messing with the cop which only made you to continue this game even more. 

“Alright then, so it seems Shigaraki Tomura was a private person. Would you say that as well?” He questioned.

You couldn’t help but stare at the man for a moment, your brain kicking back to the first time Tomura truly opened up to you. During that time you felt like you were going to explode, in truth, it made you the happiest man in the world to know you could do something like that for him. Especially when you both started to drift apart as he got older, closing himself off from everyone, including you. Seriously, it took everything in you to not to cry when it happened.

“Yeah, he is.” You stated, the first truthful thing you’ve said this entire time. 

“Alright then,” the cop started out, “did you have any part in the attack at UA High School?”

“Nah,” you hummed. “The boss made me stay at the base. I was not allowed to leave.”

“So, he’s controlling?”

“I guess,” you uttered as your mind left you. You could remember the look in his eyes when he told you to say behind. Normally, they were bloodshot and soaked in fear and hate. In that moment though, all you could saw was desire. Desire to keep you safe from whatever may happen while he went to go attack a well-known school. While he went to go kill All Might. He never confirmed anything to you until later in time when he confessed that he just wanted to keep you out of harms way. That he was more afraid of you getting captured by those bastard heroes than if it was him.

“I was more of an assist if needed, nothing more than a tool to use on smaller missions.” You tried to divert, making sure he didn’t see you pause. 

“I see, so, basically his personal assassin?” He asked. Noticeably getting more comfortable around you since his hands were now down on his lap instead on perched up on the table in a dominate manner.

“Yeah, I suppose I was.” You verified.

“Than I guess you wouldn’t happen to know Shigaraki Tomura’s true name?” The cop questioned, eyeing you down.

You let a faint chuckle leave your lips. “He wouldn’t tell anyone.”

While that may be true now, you just happened to know since you both grew up together. You were with him through everything and anything, promising to stick by his side to the bitter end. And you supposed, this was going to be the end on your side. Jail wasn’t exactly the kindest towards people like you. Sure, you could defend yourself? But for how long until something truly horrid happens to your in a place like that. 

“I see,” he uttered before digging through his folder once more. Quick to place a picture of Shigaraki on the table top in front of you. When you looked down at it you tired your best not to let even the most faint smile creep up on you, knowing that if you did, the cop would figure it out. 

He pointed to Shigaraki’s real hands before saying, “Do you know what that’s from? What does it mean to him?”

Around Shigaraki’s wrist was a burn mark, the size of your hand. In truth, he had a lot of them planted along his body, some intentional, some not. That one just happened to be an unintentional one that happened when you both were young and you had no control over your quirk. He used to always bother you when it came to those, but other time he started to pester you less. You thought he had just accepted the burn, but in truth, he just happened to grow fond of it. 

“Well, I mean, it’s a burn.” You said in a deadpanned tone. You didn’t know why he was asking such a question when it was obvious what it was.

“I know, but the hand print,” the cop started out by saying, “who’s hand print is it? Who caused that burn?”

“No one that I know of. It was probably during a fight he had before I ended up joining.” You were lying right through your teeth, and you would do it over and over again if it meant he was safe. Even at the cost of your own head. 

“Ah, I guess I just wasted my time with that one.” The man stated to himself before putting the picture away. In your mind, you truly wished he didn’t. 

The cop sighed. “Now, we don’t have much on you. But, I’d like to ask you a question anyway.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

“I want to see if you know anyone named, uh, let’s see here,” he hummed as he flipped through his notes. “An [Name]? Does it ring any bells? Has Shigaraki ever mentioned it before?”

Oh, yeah, he has. Many times in many different ways. He loved the way your named flowed out, hell, he adored it so much he couldn’t even call you by your codename at times. He would just spit it out at the base, when you were both alone. You knew he struggled a bit when you both were out on a mission or in public, but he did try because he didn’t want you to get captured. It was odd to you how they got a hold of your true name, but that wouldn’t be a mystery for long.

“The boy who was attacked by Shigaraki, Midoriya, when your leader approached him at the mall a while back he mentioned his name several times. Has he ever said it around the base before? Is it one of the other members?” He revealed.

You knew Shigaraki had that habit. Part of you wanted to be mad, angry even for not telling you that happened, but you couldn’t even if you tried. 

“He has, but it’s not anyone at base. None of us know that guy.” You simply put. In the back of your head, even if you did rat yourself out, you knew they would use you as a bargaining chip with Shigaraki. That reason alone made your belief that all these bastards were sick and corrupt even stronger.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since you did say he was a private person.” The cop stated, his little act good until he said, “Except what he said doesn’t aline with your statement.”

“That so?” You questioned. You couldn’t break under pressure, it’s exactly what they want. You swore you would die before you ever let someone like this have the upper-hand in things. “What did he say than?”

The cop eyed you down, looking for even the smallest bit of sweat to graze your skin. When he didn’t see any, he complied with your request and read quote for quote, “When it comes down to it, I hate basically everything. But the Hero Killer pisses me off the most right now, hell, he even hurt [Name]. I don’t know if he’s native or just so cocky that he thinks he can get away with that.”

The man gazed up at you, wondering if your neutral expression changed at all. It didn’t. In that moment, you were willing to do anything to just have him continue, even mask your happiness.

“When another UA student showed up, Shigaraki made up the ruse that he was a fan of Midoryia after seeing him on TV during the Sport’s Festival. Since he had his hood on, no one could tell it was the leader of the League. Just as he was about to leave though he said,” the cop stated as he cleared his throat, “Oh, you were here with a friend? I didn’t know, sorry about that. I should probably get going too. [Name] will get mad if I don’t show up on time, he’s very picky like that.”

The man sighed as he closed the folder, moving it to the side a bit. He leaned back into his chair before huffing out, “We originally thought that name was just someone close to him, or maybe even just to throw us off our investigative course. But based on several of your statements and the burn marks, I’m starting to believe it’s someone a little more than just a person he trusts.”

“Is that so?” You questioned.

“It is. You stated before he was private, so perhaps you had no idea. But at the same time you stated that it was no one at your base, even though the Hero Killer was a member of the League and supposedly hurt [Name] in some kind of fight or a falling out.” The cop explained. “Now, if Shigaraki is such a private person, it’s hard for me to believe that [Name] wouldn’t be someone who works very closely with him.”

You knew it was game over. You were close, but not perfect enough to pass this level in the game. When the cop placed his hand back on the table, you knew it was really game over. “So, mind telling me who Shigaraki is to [Name]?”

In your mind it raced over so many different points in your life that you shared with Shigaraki. The fights, the late nights, the mid-day talks, everything. Though, the most vivid one was the day he expressed such love to you in a way that words could never describe. You remembered the way his blue locks obeyed gravity, invading his sweaty and memorized face as he gazed down at you. You remember the feel of tears in the corners of your eyes, not daring to fall. His hand soon coming up to your face and wiping it away with his thumb, careful not to hurt you with his quirk. 

You sighed, your gaze hard on the cop as you felt the protective walls you had up start to fall. You needed to say it quickly or else he wouldn’t believe you. You couldn’t hurt Shigaraki more than you probably already have just by being caught. Perhaps he would come for you, but in the end you just needed to tell one more lie. One more lie before you reveal the truth to Shigaraki and only him alone. 

“No one important.”

[riversofmars]

Sometimes 13 just poses as a student and attends rivers lectures.

Hellooo! I’ve been saving this prompt for a long time cause I love it so much and now finally did something exciting with it! This is actually a little collaboration I did with @serawalkerwrites. She keeps getting asked to write for DW and never has, so we decided to do a little thing together! Basically, we took turns writing paragraphs! She's written the River bits and I wrote for 13. Really fun thing to do because our styles are quite different but it worked :D Apart from the fact that she made me write in present tense which I hate lmao! Also, if you like American Horror Story or Ratched, check out her stuff!

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2300

Read on AO3 or below

Like The First Time

“I might be younger and far prettier than the other Professors at this University, but that doesn't mean I don't expect the same level of good behaviour from my students,“ Professor River Song barks up the rows of lecture hall seating, slapping her papers on the desk. She tosses her bouncing curls of hair and brings her hands to her hips, watching the chatting students in the back row and waiting for them to take notice. That blonde girl seems to whispering at some speed, with enthusiastic hand gestures to boot. “That means you in the back row!“ She raises her voice again, finally getting the young blondes attention.

The Doctor hadn’t been able to stop herself. When River had started talking about the Venusian tomb she’d visited not long ago, it had been a perfect opportunity to tell the other students about the time she’d been invited to a funeral service there. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do, of course. She isn’t meant to interact with anyone - as strictly speaking - she isn’t meant to be here. For a start she isn’t actually a student at Luna University; for another, she could very well be causing some damage to the fabric of space and time. Visiting her wife earlier in her timeline is risky… but she hasn’t been able to stay away. Sometimes, when the Doctor misses her a lot, she sits in on her lectures, right at the back. She knows River won’t recognise her and she never speaks to her… there’s no harm no foul is there? However, a slip up is bound to happen eventually.

Now, as she looks at River, who is shooting her piercing glare from the front of the auditorium, the Doctor realises she’s messed up. The Doctor looks left and right to the other students, hoping it’s one of them River is scolding.

“Yes you, don't act like I cant see you -“ River lifts her eyebrows at the petulant student. “Forget it, I’m not shouting at you from down here, stay behind after class. Then we’ll talk, and believe me you won’t like what I have to say.“ River rolls her eyes away, a taut huff tumbling from her lips to find her inner calm once again, before continuing. “Now where were we…“

The Doctor shrinks back in her seat, her neighbouring students giving her sympathetic smiles. Others just snicker and smirk. River has a reputation for strictness, no-one messes with her…The Doctor’s made a big mistake. She glances to the exit; she can still escape this situation. But if she does, she’ll never be able to come back. Perhaps it’s time to face her wife at last. She gnaws her bottom lip anxiously and tries her best to sit still for the remainder of the lecture.

As a shrill bell rings out, signalling the end of class and an end to the Doctors torture, River watches the troublemaker while she packs her things. Students rise to their feet, stuff their bags with books and file out in an eager swarm, heading into the midday sunshine. But not this student. She’s bouncing down the steps to the front, an epic grey coat and too-short trousers have her piquing River’s interest before they start talking. “Ah, good. At least you decided to be smart this time and not run-off out the doors. I would have found you,“ River informs the girl, whose swinging her arms and looking guilty. If this were any other circumstance, then River might have bought her a drink. But as it is, she's her student, however adorable she is. “Care to tell me what is so pressing you had to take time out of my lecture to talk about it?“

“Ah well, you know, the whole thing about the Venusian tomb, just brought back some memories to when I was learning Venusian aikido. There was this one time when I was invited to a funeral at one, which - you know - is a big deal for any outsider and…“ The Doctor starts rambling, unable to stop herself. A grin spreads across her features, hoping to entertain River with her story, as she had done so many times in the past. River always liked to listen to recounts of her adventures.

“Venusian Aikido?“ River folds her arms, skeptical. “They don’t teach that to just anyone. I happen to be a black belt myself.“

“Oh I know.“ The Doctor grins.

“It’s not on my resumé,“ River parries, her eyebrows lifting into an arch. “So someone told you. Perhaps at this funeral, you supposedly attended?“ River laughs doubting the girls claims. “No-one just gets invited to a Venusian funeral, or a wedding, or any kind of ceremony unless you’re a honoured noble. Which you clearly cannot be, no offence Sweetie but -“ River pauses. She stares at the blonde and her mismatched clothing, then bunches her lips. “What did you say your name was?“

The Doctor doesn’t answer immediately. This is it, the moment of truth. She could just tell her… surely there’s no harm in it. This is River Song after losing her parents in Manhattan, and before Darillium; there is no real reason to keep her identity from her. Apart from the fact that she isn't sure how she will react. They didn’t see each other for so long in between Manhattan and Darillium, enough for River to come to doubt if the Doctor had ever truly loved her. Her words still echo through the back of the Doctor’s mind now. The Doctor doesn’t and has never loved me. - But you are the woman who loves the Doctor. - Yes I am. I never denied it. But whoever said he loved me back? Those words still haunt the Doctor, even after spending 24 years with her in which she’d done everything she could to convince her of just the opposite.

“Jane Smith.“ The Doctor answers at last with a thin smile.

River lets out a loud chortle. “Jane Smith? Of course it is,“ River replies not believing her for a second. Who has the most standard name of all names like that? River postures a little, shuffles her papers around into a neat pile already thinking of the lunch that’s waiting for her in the refectory, because she's not getting any truth from this girl. “I don't recall your name on my student register; so…how about you tell me the truth.“ River hooks her bag over her shoulder and takes a long stride forward, claiming the podium as her space, the lecturer to the student. River examines her, because if she’s not her student, then who is she? All beautiful round eyes and choppy blonde hair, River certainly doesn't recognise her. Should she, recognise her? “Or you can come to my office and explain yourself there.“

“I uhh…“ The Doctor swallows hard. Of course she doesn’t believe her, people rarely do initially; but usually she can use her psychic paper to back up her identity. She knows River would see right through that if she tried it, so that isn’t an option. “Well, I’ve actually got somewhere else to be. A really very important…thing. A thing that can’t wait, so…it was really nice talking to you, brilliant lecture. Slightly exaggerated in some parts but - you know - got to keep the students engaged…“ Her eyes flick to the door. She’s parked her TARDIS in a supply closet, so it’s not far away.

“Are you calling my stories embellished?“ River trails after this Jane Smith towards the door, flabbergasted. She’s a bone fide time traveller, she knows her subject matter better than anyone in the known universe, except  - “It’s not as though you can possible know better? How old are you anyway, twelve?“ She carries on trying to get under the girl’s skin, who is clearly hiding something.  “Where on earth are you going? You realise that’s the closet.“

“Why are you following me?“ The Doctor had hoped to simply shake her but River seems to have different ideas. She doesn’t dare open the supply closet door, River would see the TARDIS and she would be done for. But where else could she possibly go? She looks around anxiously for a way out.

“Mmm it seems you might be trapped…“ River drops her voice to a knowing whisper. She smirks, delighting in watching the girl fret.

“I just… forgot which way I… uhh…“ The Doctor struggles for a response suddenly aware of how close River is getting to her. And that smirk… She knows it all too well. Like a lioness stalking her prey. She can’t even think of a credible lie to get her out of her predicament.

“Which way you meant to go?“ River bobs her finger on her lip pretending to think hard about it. “My office is this way, if you didn't get the hint earlier.“ River ghosts her hands over the girls hips, rubbing into her hipbones with her thumbs and sucking her lips and humming. “Jane Smith. I appreciate the code name. You can slip me your paper later, I’ll be sure to mark it up a grade, well, depending on your performance of course.“ River winks coyly.

“I…“ The Doctor’s mouth suddenly feels really dry, she can’t speak. Flirting and reading innuendo isn’t exactly her forte but River can’t possibly be more obvious with her advances. Is this what River is like when she isn’t around? The Doctor isn’t sure whether to be flattered or hurt. They’re not exactly exclusive but she doesn’t like her nose rubbed in it like this. But at the same time, perhaps this is an opportunity… She could be with River without having to reveal her identity… but is that something she wanted to do under false pretences?

“Good talk, come along!“ River grins and leads the way across the lecture hall to the staff door, and unlocks it with a quick key-twizzle, then presses the door open wide to wave ‚Jane‘ through. River uses the opportunity to loop her arm around Jane’s waist and scoops her in the right direction down the hall towards her office.

The Doctor doesn’t know what to do. Things are moving fast, River doesn’t even give her a chance to protest. Her hearts seem to skip their beats when River pulls her along.

Once inside, River tosses the door shut and wastes no time in pushing Jane against it, roaming her hands up and down her sides and snapping the elastic braces. “These are retro, but I can go with the flow, off they coooome…“ River sings as she yanks them off Jane’s shoulders, then the coat, and where is the edge of this t-shirt? River is keen to feel her hands up Jane’s abdomen, and the flush of her skin. River knows her hands are rough - years of archeological digs will do that to a girl - but Jane is young and sweet enough to need a little roughing up.

“River…“ The Doctor tries to protest, this was moving too fast. Her breath catches when River untucks her t-shirt. The Doctor is still getting used to this new body and she suddenly feels very hot.

“First names already? My my…“ River tosses her mane of hair out the way as she leans in to kiss Jane on the neck, biting her and enjoying teasing her far too much. “Sweetie you do give yourself away, even in this body,“ River tickles her teeth along the Doctor’s collarbone searching for the next spot to bite. “I mean, I like it darling, but give me a heads next time -“ River explores the Doctor’s petite body with enthusiasm. “My apparatus is your apparatus and all that, got to get my head around it.“

“You knew?!“ The Doctor blurts out and pushes her off, holds her at arms length. “And you just played along?!“ She’s breathless from River’s kisses but her outrage overshadows her arousal.

River unbuttons her shirt confidently, tearing the sides apart and presenting her body to the Doctor once again, even if it’s all new for the Doctor, River is still River. “Well what did you think? I do this with all my students, Jane Smith?“ She smiles a broad, proud River smile and holds her hands out for the Doctor to take. “I’m married, remember?“ Mutually exclusive is…a bit of stretch, there might be other husbands here and there, but there is only one Doctor. “So, wife, how about a little ride on the merry-go-round with this new body?“

The Doctor just stares at her for a moment. It’s been a while since Darillium but she still recalls every moment, and River is just as beautiful as she remembers. And just as much of a temptress. She bites her lip, suddenly feeling very insecure. It would be her first time in this body…and it’s her first time being a woman as far as she can remember. That’s a lot to be anxious about.

Softening the come-on, River takes the Doctors hands and steps closer to her, squeezing her hands in reassurance. “I knew it would happen eventually, a wife and not a husband. It’s okay, you know.“ River takes a deep breath, and kisses her wife properly for the first time. Her lips are thinner softer and taste of cinnamon, but she kisses back just like her husband did. Her Doctor. “I love you. This adorable new body is just a bonus,“ she says gently, then kisses her nose for extra effect.

The Doctor can’t help but chuckle as she looks up to her. This was new. She is shorter than her! Though only due to River’s ridiculously high heels.

“I love you, too.“ She whispers nuzzling into her crook of her neck as she wraps her arms around her. River smells exactly the way she remembers, like sunshine on a spring day. “I’ve missed you so much.“ She confesses.

[dreamescapeswriting]

The First Punch ~ JJK, PJM [Request]

WORD COUNT: 1.9K

GENRE: Non idol AU, Soulmate AU, fluffy

PAIRING: Jungkook x GN!Reader x Jimin

A/N: I hope this is okay for you sweetie! I tried to make it a little different from most soulmate AU’s! Also I’m sorry it’s not spicy!!!😬🥺

Around you was nothing but darkness, the only thing that was lighting up the small area you were sitting in were some candles that Jungkook had brought along and your phone torches, that were leaning on the picnic basket. The idea had been good in thought but practically tonight wasn't working out all too well, but despite that, you weren't going to ruin the evening. The entire park was empty except for Jimin, yourself and Jungkook was you enjoyed your four-year anniversary evening together, of course, the park was empty though since it was almost 1 am. No one in their right minds would be out in a park in the middle of the night...No one except you three that was anyway. 

Jimin chuckled softly to himself as he began pouring the bubbling liquid into the three glasses that were sitting on a small piece of wood on the picnic blanket. Frowning you looked at him wondering what was so funny about pouring some wine into a glass,

"What's so funny?" You questioned as you slipped the first glass of wine from him and handed it to Jungkook beside you who was also starting to chuckle softly to himself as well, you felt as though you were missing the entire joke. 

"What?" You whined out, scrunching your eyes together as your focus kept shifting between each of them. Both of them only began to laugh harder as they thought back on what this park meant to all three of you.

"This is why I hate having two soulmates, you both laugh about me all the time, and bully me." This caused them to laugh harder, Jungkook snorting as he thought about the way you began pouting your lips out at them folding your arms over your chest like you were a child. Jimin tried to stop himself from laughing but as soon as he looked at you he started up again.

"You don't hate having two of us and you know it," Jungkook whispered in your ear kissing softly as Jimin put the bottle of wine back into the cooler, his shoulders shaking up and down as he tried to contain his laughter. 

"This park where it all started," Jimin explained as he held up his glass as he began to try and give a small speech about it but you were still pouting at him waiting to hear what was so funny from them.

"I know this is where it all started, I'm still not seeing the funny side to this," Jungkook moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulder as he tried to get you to calm down a little bit.

"I'm getting to the funny part, this is why we're sitting in the park at almost 1 am Y/n," Jimin told you as he nodded to your glass, waiting for you to join him and Jungkook in raising a toast. Rolling your eyes and scoffing to yourself you held your glass up waiting for some kind of story to come from him when an alarm went off on Jungkook's phone. Giant smiles took over their faces as they seemed to relax a little more looking at you.

"Now! It was exactly five years ago today, right here, right this second that we met..." They said in unison together before sipping on their drinks, you stared down into your glass as a smile began to form on the corners of your lips. Looking back on it now you could laugh at how you had come to meet your soulmates but back then it never seemed funny to you. Never in a million years would you have thought you could have two soulmates, then how you met them was even weirder to you. 

Everyone in the world on their 16th birthday would have a dark blue mark develop on their skin where their soulmate would touch them or come into contact with them, everyone got this and there were no exceptions to it. Most people had them in fairly normal places like the top of their arms or where a simple handshake could happen but when you reached 16 you had two marks. One on the palm of your dominant hand and then the same mark along your knuckles on the same hand so you assumed it was because of how clumsy you were. You thought you'd trip and fall into your soulmate but you couldn't have been more wrong about it if you'd tried. 

"Come on, you have to laugh about it..." Jungkook clicked your glasses together as he leant down to kiss your cheek while your mind went back to that night. 

You were running late home from work but what was new, you'd spent your entire night cramped up in a small office with your two idiot co-workers who weren't attempting to help you with any of the reports. The benefits of sleeping with the boss you guessed. 

"Fucking piece of shit," You mumbled as you dropped your bag onto the floor spilling the contents of everything inside onto the floor, the part was the only shortcut that would get you home faster and be the safest route. There was another one down a bunch of back lanes but your choice to keep your chances with life and stay in at least some public view. At least this way if you went missing someone would have caught it on cameras, or at least that was what your roommate told you.

"Want some help?" You looked up to see a blonde guy covered in tattoos walking towards you with a dark blue mark on his cheek, he stopped walking when he saw how uncomfortable you looked and he held his hands up to show he meant no harm to you. He smiled softly as he tried to make himself seem friendly.

"I'm Jungkook." He introduced himself before nodding behind you to let you know that there was someone coming up behind you, 

"That's Jimin...We were just walking home." He knew how this must have looked to someone who was alone in a park in the middle of the night so he wanted to make sure you felt as comfortable as possible. 

"Thanks. I can pick up my own stuff. I'm not drunk." You told him as you picked up the keys and smiled at him, you knew that this was a route most of the drunks took to get home.

"Oh. Why are you in the park at 12:56 pm?" Jimin asked from behind you, walking around to stand beside Jungkook in front of you, you laughed at his questioning. 

"I could ask you the same thing..." You challenged, raising your eyebrows as you waited for some kind of response from either of them but they stayed silent until Jungkook realised you were serious. 

"Shortcut, your turn." Jungkook copied your eyebrow action and you nodded in agreement with him, 

"Shortcut to my apartment building." You nodded in the direction you were heading and the boys nodded at you, pointing behind you in the direction of their apartment building. 

"Alright then. I'm gonna go." You began walking towards the park gates exit when you heard footsteps coming up behind you with some speed. The panic inside of you took over and without a second thought, you turned around slapping Jungkook across the face and then punching Jimin in the side both of them grunting loudly as they curled over sitting down on the floor in shock. You let out a groan as you held your hand when your eyes widened,

"What the fuck!?" You called out as you looked down at your hand, the palm and knuckle print changing into a bunch of different colours before it finally disappeared from your skin. The one thing everyone had in common when their soulmates finally came into their lives, the marks would vanish.

"Soulmates then?" Jungkook grunted as he looked up at you, his cheek mark just fading away as you looked at him. Jimin sat up from the floor rolling up his shirt to show the fading of a knuckle prunt on his rib cage. 

"Shit...I-I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to grab me and kidnap me or something." You laughed softly trying to make it seem lighthearted but you didn't find it funny. It was scary thinking that something was going to happen to you, you looked at them both nervously wondering what they had been doing walking up behind you. 

"You dropped this-" Jimin held up your purse that had fallen from your bag when you dropped it and you felt the heat raise up around your body from embarrassed, your head sunk down to your shoulders and you scratched the back of your head, 

"I didn't mean to punch you and s-slap you," You mumbled to them as you felt bad for hurting them but they were already starting to laugh softly about it as they exchanged looks. 

"I mean, it was meant to be since it was both of our marks and yours," Jimin said as he got up from the floor to look at you shaking his head as he thought about how well the stories would be in the future.

"I'll buy you a drink, there's an all-night cafe down the road. Let me make it up to you?" They both nodded at you and you smiled in relief taking them down to the cafe you knew all too well. Spending the night getting to know one another on a deeper level.

"Sometimes I swear I can still feel your punch," Jimin joked as he held onto his rib making you shake your head at him, he was serious though. Whenever he missed you at work or you were busy with your job his rib where the mark had been would tingle or hurt a little something a lot of other soulmates found happened when they were apart. In the start, the relationship had been a little strange since you were their soulmates but they weren't each other's but you managed to make it work. Not that many people had two soulmates, there were some rare cases but mostly everyone only had one person. Some people around you thought it was odd that you had two soulmates but whenever you felt down about it Jungkook and Jimin would do whatever they could in their power to make you feel better about it. There'd been the day you had to introduce them to your family as both of your soulmates and your family was less than inviting to the idea of you having two boyfriends at the same time but after getting to know the boys. Hearing the story on how you met they began to warm up to it all.

"Trust me, sometimes I feel it in my fist and hand," You told them as you rubbed your fingers into the palm of your hand. Jungkook worked away from home a lot so whenever he was too far or away for too long you would get the palm in the palm of your hand. The same went for your knuckles whenever you'd work too late at work you would feel the pain where you missed Jimin back home. You shifted a little on the blanket so that you could lay your head on Jimin's shoulder giving him a kiss on his skin as you smiled to yourself. Linking your hand with Jungkook as you just enjoyed being in their company all of you just sitting there and thinking back happily on the last four years together nad many more in the future.

Tagline: @jikooksgirl19 @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @kneel-begyourpardon @fan-ati--c @taestannie​ @rjsmochii​ @bisexualmess007​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 4: A Scar

Read here on AO3 :3

Contains 100% more smooches!

Xena stepped lightly as she opened the door to one of the interrogation rooms, narrowing her eyes as she adjusted to the dim light. The room had been quickly converted to a makeshift recovery room, the table that usually sat in the middle of the room had been pushed aside and replaced with a cot. Said cot was loaded with pillows and blankets in an effort to take as much pressure off the occupant's injuries as possible. Resting peacefully on it was Poppy, the scorpion rescued from the basement of a disgraced noble and had her venom forcibly extracted by torture. She seemed to be doing much better, her body was now criss-crossed with bandages and she was no longer twitching. She seemed to be sleeping at the moment.

She took a look at the clipboard left behind on the table where Monomon’s notes were scribbled. Electrical burns, blunt force trauma, eye damage, nerve damage...the list seemed to go uncomfortably long. She was glad she managed to get to her in time, but was disappointing that she and the other knights didn’t find out about the assassination plot sooner. Maybe they could have prevented a lot of suffering, but she couldn’t know for sure.

“Hello?” Poppy blinked awake, most likely from hearing Xena walk around. She was lying on her back and couldn’t twist her head to see who had entered the room. “Who’s there?” She asked, a tinge of worry to her voice.

“I am Xena, one of the Great Knights, I was there when you were rescued.” She pulled up a chair next to the cot and sat down. “Do you remember me?”

Poppy took a moment to breathe and then smiled the best she could through half a bandaged face. “I do.” She sounded coherent, but her speech was slurred and slow.

“You look much better,” Xena smiled in what she hoped was in a comforting way. “You must be on the good stuff, right?”

“Yeah.” Poppy didn’t bother trying to nod. “Nothin’ hurts. It’s great.”

“Well I won’t keep you long, I just need to ask a few questions and then you can go back to resting, okay?”

“Mmhmm.” The scorpion mumbled softly and did her best to focus her one working eye to the ant’s face. “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I’m asking for. Do you remember how you were abducted?” Xena had a quill and a tablet ready to take notes. “Take your time and try to remember what you can, okay?”

Poppy mulled over the question for a while, and started speaking. “I was at my flower shop in...in Deepnest. Some Hallownest bug came in...I asked if they wanted flowers...I grow flowers by the way and make them into arrangements. It’s nice.”

Xena nodded, knowing full well that she was on some of those good painkillers, and would probably will go off into tangents. “What kinda bug came in?”

“It was that um….beetle. Yes, that beetle. From...the place.” Poppy swallowed thickly, “Where they were...were...hurting me…”

“Don’t worry about him, he can’t hurt you anymore.” The ant put as much conviction as she could muster into her voice. “He won’t be hurting anyone else, after today.”

“Good,” She wheezed a little, catching her breath.

“What did the beetle want from you?” Xena pressed gently. “I think I could wager a guess but I need to hear it from you.”

“He uh...he asked to buy my venom...and I told him I sell flowers, not venom! It was weird...and creepy , and its against the law cause um...uh...it’s dangerous. You hafta have a license to get some and you get it from the...oh...what do you call it…” The scorpion hrmed to herself. “Oh I can’t remember, it’s the place where you can get dangerous stuff if you are a uh...professional? Scientist?”

“A supplier is what I think you mean. Where controlled substances can be given out dependent on research or medical use.”

“Yes! That! Well he got mad and started saying something about the fate of bug kind and how there was monsters in Hallownest? He said I should work with them to save everyone and I told him to leave cause I’m just a flower bug. And then something hit me on the back of my head.” She reached up with a free arm to touch the back of her bandaged head. It looked like a mess when she was first found and Xena was glad that Poppy couldn’t feel any pain right now.

“Then I woke up all tied up and the beetle was there with some other people. He said that I was going to help them get rid of the monsters and I told them I wouldn’t! Then they...they….” She sniffled, her eye tearing up.

“Then they hurt you and forcibly took your venom.” Xena knew when to stop asking questions. Poppy was starting to get a little upset, and she felt awful that she even had to bring up what happened to her so soon. But, she had to get this down for the record, and it was better to do it now while Poppy wasn’t in physical pain than wait and do it later.

Poppy nodded in response. “Mmhmm. I don’t know how long I was there.”

“That’s okay, Right now what I need from you is to rest and get better, okay? We’ll send word to your Queen and Princess and they’ll probably send someone over to help you home once you are well enough to travel.”

“Okay...thank you.” Poppy sighed. She wasn’t going to be able to stay awake anyway with the meds she was on and was quickly falling back into the realm of dreams. “There'll...be someone outside...right? Watching?”

“There are, I promise.” Xena nodded. “Nobody will let you get hurt again.”

“Mhmm...thanks…” Poppy fell asleep, a combination of reassurance and the ‘good stuff’. Xena took a bit of time to make sure she was comfortable, and then left the room. She glanced at the two guardsmen stationed outside.

“Nobody gets in that isn’t a Knight, the King, or Monomon, got it?”

They both saluted and stayed in place.

“Good...now excuse me, I have someone to see.”

She turned and headed towards the holding cells. The cells were kept underground, and as she descended the stairs she began to hear the annoying sound of metal scraping together. There was the sound of someone loudly complaining before descending into shrieks as the scraping got louder. She took a moment to rub her eyes and sighed, locking the gate behind her and stepping into the corridor.

Tiso was just sitting there, making god awful noises as he happily ran a fork over a metal plate. He was making sure to press extra hard, making terrible squeaking noises that made Xena’s antenna twitch under her helmet. The ex-noble within the cell was close to tears, looking around to Xena as soon as he saw her.

“Oh, oh bless you. Please! Please make him stop!” The jewel beetle was in the dirtiest cell they had, tear tracks marking his face and generally looking disheveled. He crawled to the bars on his knees, gripping the bars with shaky hands. “Please! It hurts!”

“I’m not even doing anything! I’m trying to serenade you with my beautiful music, you uncultured bastard.” Tiso scraped the fork loudly and it set the hairs on her carapace standing up and the beetle to cry out in pain. “It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate artistic talent. Frankly, I’m insulted.”

“That’s enough for now, Tiso.” Xena sighed and dug out her keys. “Monomon needs this guy and she’s going to be pissed if we’re late.”

“Oh?” He casually tossed the dishes to the side. “Going to be testing the antidote then?”

“Testing the what now?” The beetle looked around, confused.

“Most likely, yeah.” Xena ignored the beetle. “Now that she has a pure sample of the poison as well, she thinks she’ll know for sure if the antidote is legit or not after a couple hours.”

“Hours?” Said beetle was rapidly turning pale as he realized what was about to happen.

“Did I fucking stutter?” Xena snarled, opening the cell door. “Get your ass out here or else I’ll drag you out.”

“You can’t do that to me! I’m Lord Maximus Pennington Chrysoch the third!” They tried to dodge her hands, but she was too fast. She seized him by the wrists and began to bodily drag him out.

“I don’t give a fuck who you are! A traitor is a traitor to me.” She looked to Tiso. “Help me drag this sack of shit to Monomon and then you can take a break.”

“Hells yeah!” He jumped up, grabbing the free wrist of the condemned and hauled them to their feet. “Think I’ll have time to head to the museum to see Myla?” The beetle started wibbling and sobbing, but was completely ignored.

“Eh, take Cloth with you and you all can have an hour together. You’ll have to be back at a reasonable time though, we need all hands on deck with this situation.”

“Yeah I got ya. Thanks.” Tiso was noticeably happier, cheerfully dragging the sobbing beetle down the corridor and to their fate. He didn’t care what happened to them, all he could think about now was finally getting to smooch his girlfriends.

---

Monomon arrived outside the door to the royal suite, a capped syringe gripped gently but firmly in her tentacles. As soon as the antidote proved to actually work, and not just be another poison, she rushed as quickly as she could to the top floor. Hollow was standing guard outside of the room and nodded to her. Seeing that there wasn’t time for chit chat, she attempted to open the door.

To her surprise, it was blocked off. She looked at the knob, confused, and tried to push again. “What’s going on here?”

Hollow chirped to get her attention, and signed. <”Father is in there. I think he is sitting in front of the door.”>

“Mato? Of course he would.” She knocked on the door. “Mato! It’s Monomon!”

There was a shuffle from the other side, and the door was pulled open to indeed reveal the Nailmaster. He seemed rather rough looking, he must have booked it from the Howling Cliffs as fast as he could. “Monomon,” he nodded, and stood out of the way.

She floated inside to see what was going on, eyes immediately going to the nest that took up a good portion of the room.

Ghost was cuddled around Quirrel, doing their best to hold him in a way that would hopefully reassure him that someone was watching over him, but not tight enough to harm him. Quirrel was still unconscious, breathing heavily and shivering and once in a while his nerves would shudder, making him twitch and spasm. Ghost was already awake, no doubt hearing the door open. They looked at her, the dark fathomless eyes behind their mask tired and fearful. Their eyes darted from the door to the syringe held in her tentacle.

“Is that…” Their voice was so small and weak, but there was a bloom of hope behind it that Monomon could feel.

“Yes.” She drifted closer and uncapped the syringe. “We have it.”

They sat up quickly. “What do you want me to do?”

“Hold one of his arms still, I don’t want the needle to break if he has a spasm while injecting him.” She checked over the syringe, going over the calculations in her head one more time. She had already triple checked everything, but it wouldn't hurt to check it one more time. Ghost sat up, pulling Quirrel into their lap and used their lower set of arms to cradle him, and the top set to grasp an arm and hold it straight. Quirrel continued to shiver, making a raspy noise of discomfort from being moved.

“Good, like that.” With Ghost holding him, it was easy for her to find the joint in his elbow and sterilize it. Then, she injected the antidote slowly, watching the liquid within disperse into his hemo system.

“There…it should take effect soon.” She deposited the used needle in a box she carried to be sterilized later. “We may not notice a difference at first, but within half an hour he should be more comfortable.”

Ghost kept Quirrel in their embrace, resting their chin on his head and tucking him up close. “Thank you.” They said, moving slightly to adjust themselves. Monomon watched them tilt their head slightly, listening to his breathing as he continued to wheeze.

“How did you get that?” Mato had stayed back to let her do her thing, but now that there wasn’t any needles involved, he approached the nest again.

“A combination of work from the Great Knights, good old science, and some very helpful mandatory volunteers.”

“That’s fucking terrifying.” Mato took a step away from her.

“It’s what they deserved. They at least did something useful with their lives instead of just being executed.”

“How many prisoners are left?” Ghost’s mental voice was whisper quiet, as though they were scared that they were going to disturb Quirrel’s rest.

“I’m not sure. Tiso has the numbers. The ring leader is still alive, he was the lucky one who tested the antidote. What are you going to do about them?”

Ghost was silent for a moment, idly smoothing back Quirrel’s antenna as he lay in their embrace. “I think I will wait for Quirrel to weigh in on it all. He was...the most hurt.”

“He wasn’t the only one hurt,” Monomon drifted down to the floor to sit, curling her tentacles under herself. “There was another victim who is thankfully alive. You’ll have a report on that soon, but you may want to keep her in mind too, as well as yourself and my son.”

“It seems like the best thing to do is to let them stew in their own fear and guilt until you have a chance to deal with them.” Mato also sat, leaning against the wall. “They are not going to have any type of peace as long as they are down there with Tiso at the same time.”

Ghost actually chirped a laugh at that. “That is true.”

As they conversed, Ghost noticed Quirrel subtly shift a little over the course of twenty so odd minutes. His twitching was definitely dying down, leaving him still for the first time since he was poisoned. They could hear his breath change as well, the raspy wheeze was getting smoother and less labored. It would be a while before he was back to normal, but just being able to actually rest was something sorely needed for the pillbug.

“He’s doing better.” The vessel sagged in relief, tears once again welling up in their eyes. “He can breathe now.”

Monomon floated up from her position on the floor and placed a tentacle on the pillbug's forehead. She felt it for a moment before she spoke. “His fever has gone down.”

“He’ll be okay now, right? He’ll be okay?” Ghost shivered, black streaks dripping from their eyes as they pulled Quirrel closer to their chest.

“Yes Ghost, he’ll be okay.”

Ghost broke down into tears, a combination of relief, love, and the bitter fear of loss. Once they started they couldn’t stop, the emotional dam had broken. The sheer stress they had been bundling up for the past two days refused to be ignored any longer. Thick, choking sobs filled the room as they held their husband close. He’ll be okay, they won’t have to say goodbye so soon. They knew one day they would have to, but for now, he’ll be okay. He’ll live and they can continue to share the love that never ran out in their heart. He’ll be okay.

Mato and Monomon both embraced them, and for once, they let their family help them carry the huge amount of stress and emotions swirling around in their void. They kept repeating that simple phrase to themselves, over an over, to keep them grounded in the here and now.

He’ll be okay.

---

Myla hummed to herself as she looked over a crystal in her claws. She turned it around in the light, squinting through a monocular as she studied it’s structure. It was a beautiful fluorite specimen, still rough and unpolished. Broad bands of green, purple, and blues swirled around the stone in a rainbow of colors. She just needed to do a little cleanup on it and then it would be ready for display.

She looked at the basket of rocks on the floor next to her work station, all of them mined and found by her. She was pretty proud that she didn’t lose her knack for finding the beautiful and unusual. The infection left her unable to mine professionally anymore, but she had enough energy to go on little expeditions, following her heart as she explored the corners of the kingdom.

Of course, she didn’t go alone. Either Tiso or Cloth would come with her, keeping her protected as she jumped into holes to hack away at the rocks. She wasn’t very strong, but she can still knee cap people who threaten her, and she keeps her pickaxe nice and sharp. It was fun! Especially when she could spend the time with her partners.

She sighed, she hadn’t seen Tiso and Cloth for several days now. She knew what happened, the whole kingdom knew by now. She knew they had important work to do, but she still missed them.

As if the universe was listening to her thoughts, there was a knock on her office door. She glanced at her clock, it was about time for lunch. Maybe it was a coworker asking if she’d like something?

“Come in!” She called.

The door opened, and to her delight, her two knights tried to squeeze their way inside at the same time. Tiso gasped, smushed up against the door frame as Cloth tried to force her massive bulk through, getting equally wedged in.

“Cloth! Back up!” Tiso kicked his legs that were a good foot of the ground. The force of the attempt to beat Cloth inside had angled his body upwards to get stuck on the frame, one arm free and trying to pull himself free.

“No! You back up!” She retorted, trying to squeeze her shoulders in. “I want to kiss her first!”

“Like hell you -wheeze-” Tiso started going a little blue, a stark contrast to his black shell as he got squashed harder.

Myla never in her whole life, expected that she’d ever be a girl that someone would fight over, let alone two. She knew they were just playing around and joking with their fake little rivalry thing, it was endearing, but sometimes Cloth forgot her own strength. She remembered once when Cloth gave Tiso a ‘gentle’ punch to the arm and accidentally sent him through the window.

“How about both of you back out, and I’ll come to you?”

Cloth and Tiso looked at each other. Cloth nodded and with some effort, pulled herself back and out of the door-frame. Tiso, no longer supported, just fell on the ground and wheezed for breath. Cloth helpfully picked him up and set him on his feet again and dusted off his armor.

Myla giggled, bouncing forward to leap at the two of them and was caught into a three way hug. It was a happy moment of hugs and little smooches that was sorely needed after days of being apart. “I’m so glad you two are here!”

“Unfortunately, we only got a short amount of time, then we have to go back.” Cloth replied, sounding very apologetic.

“Yeah...we still got idiots to process.” Tiso took the time to give them both a nuzzle. “Duty calls and all that.”

“That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re here for now!” Myla wriggled to escape the hug, and promptly headed back inside the office. “I processed some new minerals if you’d like to take a look!”

“Of course we would!” Tiso booked it to the door.. and ended up getting wedged in again when Cloth tried to get in at the same time. This time it was worse, because Cloth didn’t put her club down first, and Myla could hear the wood creaking under the strain of it all. She rubbed the back of her head as she watched them both struggle.

She wondered if she should just have a second door put in.

---

It felt like ages since Grimm started talking, telling Quirrel of fantastical worlds both old and new. It was fascinating, hearing of so many places that were different and unique. For the most part Quirrel listened, asking a question here and there. It seemed like the Nightmare King had visited the places Quirrel had during his wanderings on the surface world, and offered some interesting insight to things he may have missed.

“It seems our time is nearly up.” Grimm folded his claws together under his chin, looking at the pill bug who sat in front of him. He had just finished telling Quirrel about a colorful world with a legend of an eternal sprout that was constantly being searched for. “You will need to wake up soon.”

“Really?” Quirrel leaned back in his chair and poked himself a couple times. “If I’m well enough now to wake up, how come I don’t feel any different?”

“It’s because your mind is protecting itself. You won’t feel pain while in a dream. I can however, change that aspect if it is a nightmare, but I have no reason to do so here.” Grimm gave him a sinister grin, exposing many needle sharp teeth, but Quirrel wasn’t afraid.

“Thanks.” Quirrel sighed, and put down his cup. As soon as it hit the table, it began to dissolve into essence, floating away in motes of white and red. In fact, it seemed like everything that wasn’t Grimm or himself was beginning to look blurry and grainy.

“I am not going to lie. You will most likely be in for a lot of pain once you awaken, but you must wake up.” Grimm looked to the side and off to the distance, watching the walls of the cozy room fade into white. “But you will live.”

“Will we ever get to chat again sometime? Despite the circumstances, I quite enjoyed our conversation. It would be nice to revisit it sometime.”

Grimm smiled softly, hiding his wicked looking teeth once again. “Of course we will.”

“Great!” Quirrel watched the last motes of color leave the dream, leaving nothing but a white, featureless void. Somehow they were still sitting, despite the lack of anything coherent around them. “Hrm...how do I wake up then?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Grimm laughed, his voice distorting and echoing, as though retreating backwards. “You /[Quirrel]/ just need to /open[ed]/ your /[his] eyes./”

.

.

.

Suddenly, he was awake.... and he hated it.

Quirrel’s first thought was a mess of confusion. He had managed to open his eyes, a jarring jump from the dream world to reality. It was easy, but hard at the same time.

What Quirrel managed to see through his stinging eyes was nothing but a blurry mess of darkness and shapes. As soon as his brain caught up with the rest of his body, a deep sharp ache radiated from within his core, spreading all the way to the tips of his limbs. It felt like he tried to cuddle an ooma and paid the price for it. He had no idea how, but even his mandibles hurt. At least Grimm warned him, but it still sucked.

He could tell he was lying on something soft and warm at least. Wriggling his antenna (with a wince, cause how the fuck is his antenna sore too!?!) slightly gave him the usual smells of his home in the palace. His mind was still a little foggy, so when he detected three other people around him, he wasn’t quite sure who they were at first. It was silent, so he couldn’t identify anyone by voices. He was exhausted. Everything hurt. Breathing hurt. Having his eyes open hurt. It sucked and he resolved to complain about it soon enough. He had no clue what happened other than 1. he got poisoned and 2. he got sick from it.

What he needed right now, was his spouse. They probably knew what the hell happened and could fill him in on what he missed. He didn’t even know how long he was out for. It didn’t seem so long while he conversed with Grimm, but he suspected that time doesn’t really hold all that much meaning in a dream. He moved, at least, he tried to, gasping in pain as his hand squeezed something hard and slender. He nearly jumped out of his chitin when something squeezed back. A shape moved in front of his vision, a blurry mess of white that seemed to shine in the darkness.

“Quirrel?” The voice was tinged with the feeling of hope as it whispered through his head. He knew that voice, and he relaxed.

“Hello, love,” he wheezed. His throat was dry and scratchy and he coughed on his words. He closed his eyes for a moment as the blur moved and tripped his sense of vertigo. He heard a chirp in response before he was being hauled upright and held with four arms. The sudden movement flipped his stomach around and he groaned in response. “Ugh…”

“I’msorryi’msorryi’msorry.” He was being peppered with kisses all over his face as a soft whining noise emitted from a throat that was voiceless. He managed to lift up a shaking hand to rest it on the side of Ghost’s face, happy he didn’t accidentally poke them in the eyes since he couldn't see. He rubbed them as well as he could, struggling with the effort of keeping his arm up.

“It’s alright... dear…” It was difficult to talk, he had to stop and take a breath between each word. As much as he loved kisses, it was starting to overwhelm him, so he tried to soothe his spouse. “I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. I...I…” There was another wheezing sob and he was thankfully nuzzled instead of kissed. “You could have died.”

“Heh...heh...like you could...get rid of me...that easy.” He dropped his arm, no longer able to keep it up. His hand was captured in one of Ghost’s, and they rubbed it gently. “I plan to...be around...for much longer…You couldn’t...keep me away...if you tried…” He was losing his voice and he swallowed with a wince. He opened his eyes again, it was still blurry, but he could see clearer shapes. A blob of green and a blob of red was approaching, mixing together as he struggled to focus.

“Here you are, my dear.” A glass of water was placed in his free hand and encircled with a tentacle. “Sip slowly.”

“Hi mom…” He knew what his mom felt like, how she always had this sort of static energy around her, like you could get a good zap if you pissed her off. The same tentacle that used to rock him to sleep at night when he was a pip helped him drink and he gratefully swallowed down the water. It was absolute bliss. He may be king, but all the finery in the world couldn’t compare to that nice cold glass of water.

“You gave us a hell of a scare, how are you feeling?” Oh, that must have been Mato. It made sense that he would be here. The blurs of red mixed with gray and was certainly big enough to be the Nailmaster. They moved to stand closer to Ghost...at least he thinks they did. It was hard to tell for the moment.

“Hurts.” Quirrel could have lied but his mother was right there and she would have no trouble putting him in the corner for it. “All over. Hard to see.”

“I figured as much,” Monomon was still holding the glass of water for him, and another tentacle bumped against his mandibles. “Open up, I have something for the pain.”

He did just that, letting the pills go down with another few swallows of water. He imagined that he should feel hungry or something too, but he just didn’t feel like it. She must have sensed the question because she continued talking.

"Let’s wait for half an hour and see if you can handle some soup, okay?”

Quirrel nodded with a sigh. He was awake but tired again, it was rather frustrating. He closed his eyes again, letting them rest as he just laid there and breathed. He could feel the medicine begin to work, a numb tingling working down his limbs and into his core. Soon, every movement didn’t result in pain, and he managed to sit up a little. Ghost helped, sitting so that his back could rest against this chest and belly.

“What happened?” It seemed like a sensible question to ask. He was not surprised that Ghost was the one to answer.

“There was an assassination attempt and you were poisoned by the nail that cut you. The Great Knights led an investigation and arrested the ringleader and several members of the group. They are still investigating, but they are confident they caught most to all of them. You were unconscious for almost three days.”

“Three days?!” Quirrel raised his voice at that. Three whole days? As in seventy two hours?

“Yes, three days.” Monomon piped up. “If it makes you feel any better, half the kingdom has been keeping vigil outside, hoping that you would get better.”

Quirrel blinked in surprise. “Really?”

“She isn’t lying.” Mato was the next to say something, his voice moving around the room. “I nearly had to fight my way inside, there were so many people out there.”

Quirrel...didn’t know how to feel about that. On one hand, he didn’t feel like he was a person who would warrant a three day vigil, and on the other, he was touched and humbled. He had always been a bug who was fairly social and had a lot of friends, but to have that many bugs sitting around and waiting for news about him...it was astonishing. It must mean that he is doing something right.

“You two need rest,” Mato continued. “Ghost? There’s a pot of soup in the icebox, just warm it up. I’ll go out and tell the masses that things are okay so they can go home.”

“That is a good idea.” Ghost leaned their head down to nuzzle Quirrel some more. “Thank you.”

“And you, my little scholar, are going to stay in bed.” Monomon added. “Strict bed rest until further notice, got it? I will know if you get out of bed, trust me.”

“Yes mom.” Quirrel believed her.

Soon, both parents departed, and once again the room was quiet, save for a soft rumbling. Quirrel realized that Ghost was purring as they cuddled against them. “Stay with me...for a little?” He asked. Now that their parents were gone, it felt strange, like he was a small thing in a sea of uncertainty. Most likely, it’s trauma from the experience, but he didn’t think he could stand being alone for very long now. Now that he was awake, he wanted to stay awake, but he doubts that his body will let him for long.

“I would never leave you,” came the reply. “Everything is on hold for now and will be for a little while.”

“You can’t just... shut down the government...love.” Quirrel chuckled. “Even though...I think most would...enjoy the vacation.”

“I am a king, I can do what I want. And if I want everyone to fuck off so I can care for my beloved husband who survived an attack on his life, I will make it so.” There was a hint of amusement in their voice as they gave him a nuzzle.

“What about...the assassins?” He would not be surprised if they were all dead by now, but he still wanted to know.

“The knights have them. We can talk about it later. I would rather kiss you and talk about how much I love you, if that’s okay.”

Quirrel managed a laugh as he relaxed against his spouse, feeling happy and full of love. “You know what? I would...like that very much.”

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

(Un)Wanted Part 3

Read on Ao3 

(Un)Wanted Masterlist

A child that sees demons in every dark corner is not a child that is wanted.

A child that cries and freezes and mumbles of terrible things is not a child that is wanted.

A child that jumps and startles and hisses is not a child that is wanted.

Unwanted things are purged from the Earth.

So Virgil runs.

In other words: Virgil is an outcast, ostracized and shunned for how he was born, forced to flee an angry mob only to stumble right into a fae garden.

Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Warnings: Implied/Referenced torture, child abuse, and self-harm, nothing super explicit. Sympathetic Deceit and Remus. Panic attacks, anxiety attacks.

Word Count: 7,040

Words are fucking stupid if you ask Remus.

Mortals have no idea what they’re doing with them and half the time they just make shit up and expect everyone else to go along with it. They don’t know what words are supposed to mean and half the time they try and pin down something that can’t be made into a single word into one and it’s just a big mess. There is one exception.

 Feral.

 Remus isn’t quite sure what gave mortals this one stroke of genius but he’s grateful for it. Feral. Even the word sounds like chaos. Which is just Remus’s cup of snail intestines.

 Feral, or more accurately, going feral, is the closest thing a fae gets to absolute bat-shit. Which, in fairness, by mortal standards, isn’t that bat-shit. Oh, yeah, sure mortals don’t have nearly the firepower of the fae, but let’s be real, here folks, mortals perfected the clockwork of murder far better than any fae could hope to.

 Going feral means what little hold a fae has on this fucking stupid temporal plane is tenuous at best. It means that bits of their aura manifest in ways that quickly go beyond the pitiful visible spectrum that mortals can tolerate. It means shapes and colors and energies that aren’t meant to be seen by mortal eyes, all barely held together by a flexible container of mostly water. A body, if you prefer the un-fun definition.

 Going feral is the fine line between creation and destruction.

 Remus is the one who goes feral the most often, even though it’s not why you think. It’s not directly tied to emotion, not really. If it was, Patton would be going feral every two seconds. It’s not even tied to sheer raw power. As much as Remus hates to admit it, that’s probably Snakey, even if it is only through his role as Gatekeeper.

 No no no. It’s much worse than that.

 Sir Nerd-A-Lot was right when he said that each of their ‘rooms’ is a slightly different layer of reality, something mortals can’t understand because of the way they’re made in this world. Although Remus’s way of understanding it wasn’t some tender touching of hands or soft words of explanation.

 The rooms are different ways to see.

 L’s room is like a normal pair of glasses. Makes things sharper, easier to understand, clearer. Less ambiguity.

 J’s room is like looking through mist or fog. More gray areas, easier to twist the truth to what you want to see, easier to let your mind play tricks on you. Less easy to figure out exactly what’s going on.

 Patton’s room is like always being in that weird soft stage mortals always say they have when they’re really sleepy. Not tired, because of course not, words are stupid. Sleepy is soft yawns and smiles and too-long sleeves and adorable smiles that make Remus want to pinch their cheeks until they fall off. Tired is squinty eyes and muttered complaints and downing that mysterious brown liquid. Patton’s room is being sleepy, everything a little softer, sweet enough to make Remus’s teeth ache.

 His brother’s room is, uh, well. Remus really doesn’t know what makes his brother’s room that different from his when you get right down to it. It’s like…it’s like looking in two different mirrors. Princey’s room is like that mirror that always shows you what you’d like to see. It’s the one that makes your hair do whatever the fuck you want it to do or makes your eyes glimmer like whatever the fuck you want them to glimmer like. It’s dreamy and it’s whatever and Princey seems to like it. And yeah, okay, Remus isn’t too big to admit that his brother’s good at what he does, even if it’s a little boring for his taste.

 Remus’s room is like looking into a mirror and the mirror looking back into you.

 Remus doesn’t really give a shit about what mortals would rather tell themselves about what it is they really want or don’t want. He’s with Snakey on that one; mortals don’t really know what it is they want, and if they do, they rarely say it out loud. That’s okay. Remus can do that.

 Remus lurks in the darkness, where mortals would rather not look. He delights in the twisted little things that straggle across their brains. It’s so much more interesting, looking at the absolutely horrible things that drift through their little minds and how much it makes them squirm. He’ll never understand why they try so hard to pretend they don’t exist, they make things so much more interesting.

 And that’s the problem.

 Remus is tied to those dark little things and sometimes…sometimes those dark little things don’t stay so dark and little.

 Sometimes they come out and they’re darker in the daylight. Sometimes they take that darkness and force it somewhere it should never go. Sometimes they try and pretend that their darkness is other people’s fault.

 That pisses Remus off.

 Mortals hurt each other. That’s what they do. Sure, they also do a whole lot of other things but mortals feel. That’s what they’re built to do. So it’s inevitable that they’ll get hurt. But the darkness it takes to blame someone or something else for your darkness? That type of darkness makes Remus’s stomach curl.

 Literally. He can feel it squirming around in there.

 Or maybe that’s just the tentacles.

 Listen, mortal forms and mortal-like forms are so stupid, okay? There’s no place to put anything and Remus has to make do.

 When he goes feral, well…different story.

 Remus hasn’t gone feral in a while. Not really. Not like this.

 Not like the agony that was pushed into him by the snake, not like the ants that crawled around in his bones, not like the way it stripped him of himself, layer by layer, until he could only smile until his cheeks ached.

 There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain.

 Then he’d showed up in the garden and seen. Seen this tiny tiny mortal that should never have this much pain. Seen the lines drawn in burned wood in its head, seen the fear that clung to the little thing like water clings to a dead leaf, seen the marks.

 And then they had been so cold.

 Mortals aren’t supposed to be cold. They’re fiery little beasties, even the prissy ones. Their blood runs hot and their little heads like to run themselves silly and they have an awful tendency to burn themselves up with just the slightest push.

 V shivered. V shook. V trembled and his skin had been so icy Remus had been teetering on the edge of going feral before he learned that other mortals did this to V.

 He hadn’t really tried to stop it after that.

 When he had V in his arms, it was better. He could feel V’s darkness scrabbling around inside his head, had been able to wrap his arms around it, hold it tight, feel so much and try and make it settle down.

 Double-edged sword, that was.

 Here’s the thing. Here’s the fucking problem.

 V’s carrying around darkness that isn’t his.

 Whatever monsters did this to him—he shouldn’t fucking call them monsters, monsters were better than this—made him carry around their darkness. Not his. Remus doesn’t even fucking know what darkness is V’s and what darkness has been made V’s. It’s like they picked one person, one person, and made them responsible for everyone’s darkness.

 Mortals don’t like darkness.

 Remus can’t imagine what they must have done if they gave their darkness a singular, corporeal, punishable form.

 Well, no. He can imagine. That’s the fucking problem.

 That’s the main reason why he pulled V aside and told him that, uh, maybe going to his room wasn’t the best idea. Don’t get him wrong, if V wants to Remus will sure as hell take him, that’s cool, but uh…might be a bad time. Thankfully, V didn’t seem too bothered by it, well…not more bothered. Remus wasn’t about to look a gift gulper eel in the mouth.

 Seriously. Uma likes to eat some weird shit.

 The lake is Remus’s favorite part of the forest, just because it’s the only place he really gets to work with his brother. Princey’s great at making everything else but like…it gets boring. Plus, they work better together anyway, even when they don’t agree all the time.

 V’s got a much better appreciation for his stuff anyway.

 Speaking of V, he’s sitting at the edge of the lake, knees tucked up to his chest, idly toying with a branch that drifted over to the shore. Remus paddles over, using his tentacles to keep him afloat as he cocks his head.

 “Find something interesting?”

 V shrugs. “It’s just a stick.”

 …yeah, but like…it could be something else.

 “Wanna play with it?”

 V’s brow wrinkles. “How do you play with a stick?”

 Ignoring the rush of what fucking mortal child doesn’t know how to play with anything and everything, Remus grins and whistles. A few seconds later the water’s surface stirs as something big trundles up to the surface.

 “Ollie!”

 The kraken burbles, wrapping Remus in an arm and giving him a light squeeze. Then it notices V, curled up on the shore, and hums, the water rippling all around it, as it moves toward the edge.

 “Be careful,” Remus scolds as it pulls him with, “don’t beach yourself.”

 Oliver protests lightly, before huffing and reaching out to lay one tentacle in the shallows. V smiles—Remus is so fucking happy V’s smiling now, okay? It’s so good—and waves. Oliver pokes the end of the tentacle out of the water and waves back.

 “Your name is Ollie?”

 “I call him Oliver,” Remus says, patting the tentacle still around his waist.

 “Hi, Oliver,” V says softly, “it’s nice to meet you.”

 The kraken rumbles happily, reaching out for V.

 “Hey!” Remus lightly smacks the tentacle. “Ask first!”

 “A-ask what?”

 “He wants to hug you.” Sure enough, the tentacle near V twitches slightly, water pouring off the sides as it raises out of the lake. V watches it move warily. “he won’t hurt you, V, he’s sweet.”

 Oliver burbles again.

 “You don’t gotta,” Remus says quickly, “if you don’t wanna.”

 V reaches out one hand, trembling slightly as the kraken reaches out to meet him. He pats the arm. Remus grins as Oliver gently taps him back.

 “You wanna play with him?”

 “How?”

 “Throw the stick.”

 “L-like a dog?”

 “You throw dogs?” At V’s horrified face, Remus bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yeah, V. Ollie likes playing fetch.”

 V’s brow wrinkles adorably. “Really?”

 Remus grins. “Ollie!” The kraken turns its head to look up at him. “Toss!”

 The kraken rears back the arm and hurls Remus across the lake.

 “Wheee!”

 There’s nothing quite like being flung through the air and splashing down into a nice big body of water. Using his own tentacles to propel him back over to the other side, Oliver trills and reaches for him again.

 “Ask,” Remus chides lightly, only to giggle and pat the arm that curls around his waist again. “You just want to hug? Okay.”

 He turns to V, whose mouth is wide open. “See? Fetch.”

 “That…that’s not normally how fetch works.”

 Remus shrugs. “Ollie likes it.”

 “Do..do you like it?”

 “Yeah, I like it. It’s fun!”

 Oliver reaches out slowly for V, laying the arm next to him on the shore. V glances at Remus before carefully reaching for the stick and nervously offering it to Oliver. Oliver takes it and passes it to Remus who grins.

 “Ready?”

 V nods.

 “Ollie, toss!”

 This time, as Oliver hurls him across the lake, Remus chucks the stick as hard as he can away from him, laughing when Oliver trills and dives after it. As Remus swims back, he sees V scramble to his feet, peering anxiously into the distance.

 “Don’t worry,” Remus calls, treading water, “he’ll find it and come back. He always does.”

 Sure enough, not a few seconds later, and the water parts, revealing a very pleased Oliver and a stick clutched delicately in one of his arms. V’s eyes widen as Oliver holds it out, taking the proffered stick carefully.

 “See?” Remus beams. “Fetch.”

 “Fetch,” V echoes breathlessly, “good job, Oliver.”

 “You wanna do it again?” V nods. “Great. Chuck the stick at me.”

 “Wait, but...what if it hits you?”

 “I’m a fucking fae, V, and it’s a fucking stick. Chuck it at me.”

 Remus catches the stick even if he has to lift himself out of the water to do it. Oliver burbles and Remus nods, letting Oliver curl around his waist again.

 “V,” he calls, “you wanna tell him this time?”

 Glancing back and forth between the two of them, V nods. “Toss!”

 Oliver launches Remus with more enthusiasm than he has in a while. So much so that Remus laughs the whole way across the lake and the whole way back.

 “I think he’s trying to impress you,” he remarks when Oliver zips back and forth faster and faster.

 “I’m impressed.”

 Oliver lays the stick on the grass and reaches out for V. V pats the arm only for his eyes to widen when Oliver reaches further and rumbles.

 “He wants to pick you up, V,” Remus explains.

 “D-does he want to throw me?”

 “I’m sure he’d love it if you let him,” Remus says, quickly continuing when V balks, “but I think right now he really just wants to hold you.”

 V still looks unsure. Remus taps his fingers against the arm around his waist, thinking.

  Hmmm…

  Oh hey wait I’ve fucking got it.

 “V?”

 “Y-yeah?”

 “You wanna ride?”

 V’s eyes widen. “Ride?”

 “Yeah.” Remus gestures around. “Lake’s fucking huge, and there’s cool shit everywhere. Plus, Ollie likes you a lot and he’d be real happy to give you a ride if you wanted.”

 Oliver trills in agreement.

 “…okay,” V mumbles eventually, “can I…can I have a ride?”

 “Sure you can. You wanna swim out and let me help you up or you want Ollie to set you on his head?”

 “I—I can do it.”

 “Cool.” Oliver sets Remus on his head and Remus shifts around a bit, trying to work out where the most secure place for V to sit would be. He glances up when V carefully steps into the water, having removed his boots. Oliver shifts around slowly, arranging his tentacles into stairs that V can use to get up.

 “D-duke?”

 “Yeah?”

 “H-how do I get up?”

 “You can climb, climb his arms.”

 V tilts his head. “What if I hurt him?”

 It makes Remus chuckle. “V, you’re tiny. You’re small and light and you’re a mortal. You probably couldn’t hurt him if you tried, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be doing this if it was gonna hurt. You’re all good, climb up.”

 V climbs, slowly and carefully, always wary about where he’s putting his hands or his feet, until he steps onto Oliver’s head and sinks down next to Remus.

 “Good job!” Remus shuffles a little closer. “Ollie’ll go slow for you, but if you wanna hang onto something, you just lemme know, okay?”

 V nods. Remus pats the head under them.

 “Okay! You be nice, yeah? You’re carrying precious cargo here.”

 Remus bites back a laugh at V’s nervous squeak when Oliver rumbles, starting to move. He scrabbles a little for a handhold.

 “Here,” Remus suggests, flopping onto his stomach, “get low. Less chance of falling off.”

 V just curls into himself, trying to hold onto something. Remus frowns, then carefully sits up as Oliver finishes turning toward the rest of the lake.

 “You can hang onto me if you want,” he offers, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 “Can I?”

 “Mhm.” Remus shifts a little closer, opening his arms. “Or I can hang onto you.”

 Nothing feels better than the satisfaction of having V crawl into his lap, letting Remus cuddle him with his back against Remus’s chest, tentacles hanging onto Oliver. Oliver rumbles happily, lazily swimming around the edge of the lake. As they go, he can feel V start to relax, some of the tension seeping out as he slumps against Remus. Remus smiles, closing his eyes to just feel V not being so afraid, for once, feel that pain start to lessen, even if it’s just the smallest bit. Let a little bit of the darkness be chased away.

 By the time they’re back to the familiar shore, Oliver eases gingerly into the shallows and hums. Remus chuckles.

 “Good workout today, huh, buddy?”

 Another rumble.

 “Come on,” he mutters to V, “you want me to help you down or you got it?”

 “I got it.”

 Remus opens his arms and watches V climb back down just as gingerly, giving Oliver one last pat before sitting on the shore. An arm wraps around Remus’s waist and squeezes.

 “Yeah, yeah, I had fun too, buddy. You go eat something?”

 Oliver gives one last rumble and disappears below the surface of the lake. Remus hauls himself out and flops down on the grass beside V, stretching lazily. Snakey’s got a point with this whole sun-warmed surface thing. He can feel himself relaxing.

 “Thank you.”

 At V’s mumble, Remus opens one eye. “Sure, you’re welcome. You have fun?”

 “Mhm.”

 “I’m glad.”

 There’s another stretch of silence. Remus sits up, looking at how V stares at the lake. It’s one of the only times V’s brow isn’t furrowed. Remus decides he likes it better than way.

 “I like the lake,” V confesses quietly, almost too quiet for Remus to hear. “It’s nice.”

 The note of childish wonder in his voice makes Remus feel…weird. It’s not a bad weird, it’s not necessarily a good weird either though. It’s just…weird. Like there’s something fluffy in his chest, something that really wants to make V always sound like this.

 “Good.” Remus shifts a little closer. “What do you like about it?”

 V thinks for a moment, tucking his knees up to his chest. “I like the water.”

 “The water?”

 A small nod. “Water is good.”

 Something changes.  A little darkness colors V’s tone and Remus sits up a little straighter.

 “…’good?’” He tests the word out on his tongue. “Why is water good, V?”

 “Because it isn’t fire.” V curls in on himself. “Fire is bad.”

 The fluff is gone.

  Pain pain pain pain there’s flames rising higher and higher as the crowd grows more and more restless there are sparks and smoke and the wood burns slowly so slowly so slowly the flames creep higher and higher and the man holds a torch aloft and it burns it burns it burns it’s getting closer no please not now—

 “Duke! Duke!”

 Remus growls, the power seeping through him. How dare they, how fucking dare they, the darkness rolls off in waves, crashing, building, flowing higher and higher and higher and—

 “Shh, shh, you stay behind me, okay?”

 It runs deeper. Pushes. Pulls. Opens his mouth. Tilts his head back. The tentacles writhe. The lake trembles. So much. So much.

 “Duke, duke, I need you to listen to me.”

 …Princey?

 What’s Princey doing here?

 “Duke. Duke. You need to stop, you’re scaring V.”

  V.

 Remus growls again, closing his eyes and swallowing the darkness. It sinks into a pit in his chest and he swallows, pushing it back into the depths and away from him. Away from V.

 He growls, curling in on himself, willing the mass of tentacles to behave, settle down, holding himself tightly and trying to dissipate the extra energy.

 “Good…that’s it. Both of you just have a breather, okay?”

 Remus opens his eyes. He’s by the lake. There’s no one here to hurt anyone. He’s alright. They’re alright. He takes one more breath and the last of the mania settles.

  V.

 He looks over and regret burns a hole in his chest. The prince stands there, having pulled V behind him, one hand held out towards Remus, the other hovering protectively over V. V’s curled in on himself so tightly he can barely see him behind the prince.

 Fuck. He fucked up. Did he…

 “…is he blind?” Remus manages, unable to tear his eyes away from this poor poor thing.

 “No,” the prince says softly, “he’s not.”

 “Fuck.”

 “Yeah.” The prince looks at him with a soft fury. “Come on, Re, you know better.”

 “It hurts, Ro,” Remus mutters, unable to stop himself from slipping into the nickname, “it…it’s fucking painful.”

 “Does it hurt still?”

 “Like maggots crawling under my skin.”

 The prince winces sympathetically. “How do you think it is for V?”

 “I know,” Remus mutters angrily, “I’m pissed about that too.”

 They both stop, looking at V huddled on the ground, shaking and mumbling something. Fuck. Fuck, what has Remus done?

 They just fucking got him feeling safe, he just got comfortable asking for things, hell he’s just started being able to sleep in his room…did Remus fuck all of that up?

 “…ke.”

 Remus blinks, straining to hear. The prince does too, turning his head to look down at V. Neither speaks.

 “…ke…d…ke…”

 Remus’s chest clenches.

 “…duke…duke…”

 The prince drops to one knee, reaching out to gather V close. “It’s alright, V, breathe…shh, you’re alright, sweetheart, no one’s hurt.”

 “Duke…”

 “He’s alright, sweetheart, he’s okay.”

 “Duke.”

 The way V’s voice cracks hurts almost as much as going feral did. Remus watches helplessly as V rocks himself back and forth, his arms wrapped so tightly around himself that he can hardly see where one ends and the other begins. He keeps shaking his head, mumbling ‘duke’ over and over.

 The prince glances at Remus then back to V. “…do you want the duke, sweetheart?”

 “…d-duke…”

 Remus swallows. Please, please let this be right.

 “...V?”

 V keens, one of his hands slowly reaching out. Remus scrambles forward, almost knocking his brother out of the way. The prince merely huffs. Remus stares at V, hoping, hoping…

 “V, can you hear me?”

 “Duke?”

 “Yeah, V, it’s me, I’m—I’m sorry.”

 “Duke.”

 “Can I—“

 Remus doesn’t get to finish his sentence. V doesn’t quite throw himself into Remus, but it’s close. Remus wraps around him immediately, tentacles and all, curling in on V as V clings to him, tighter, tighter, tighter.

 “Oh, you two,” he hears the prince murmur distantly, “what will we do with you?”

 Remus doesn’t much care what his brother thinks right now. All he cares about is having V safe in his arms and alive and warm, holding onto him tightly. V keeps sobbing out ‘duke,’ over and over, slowly growing less and less frantic. The prince sits there, gently stroking his hand through Remus’s hair.

 It takes a while—much fucking longer than Remus would like—to finally get everyone to settle down. They slump there, on the ground, still curled around each other. The prince huffs a laugh, ruffling Remus’s hair before standing up.

 “I think you two,” he murmurs, “should talk, hmm?”

 Remus nods, still holding V tightly. The prince gives him a nod and vanishes back into the forest.

 “…V?”

 V shifts a little. “Mm?”

 “Can we talk about, uh, what just happened?”

 A few seconds pass and V scoots further into Remus’s lap. “…can we stay like this?”

 “Of course,” Remus says instantly, “we can stay like this. I, uh, I wanna apologize.”

 “For what?”

 Remus swallows. “Going feral. Scaring you. Almost blinding you.”

 There’s a moment of silence.

 “…I’m not mad at you.”

 “You’re not?”

 He feels V’s head shake against his neck. “It—I—mmphf.”

 “Take your time,” Remus says quickly, “I’m not gonna let go if you don’t want.”

 “Don’t…”

 He squeezes. “I won’t.”

 V is the perfect little weight in his lap. Soft, not too heavy, just this side of too warm, cuddling into him with the persistence of a snuggle-deprived jellyfish.

 Oh, V should totally meet the school of jellyfish. He’d love them.

 “…no one’s ever done that before.”

 V’s voice is so quiet that for a moment, Remus isn’t even sure he’s spoken. Then he shifts again.

 “No one’s ever done that for me.”

 “…go feral?”

 V shakes his head. “…be protective.”

 Oh, this is not the time to be making such broken, heartfelt confessions because Remus can and will get pissed all over again at everything and everyone that made V think he wasn’t worth protecting.

 “…oh, little monster…”

 If V doesn’t like the pet name, he gives no indication. In fact…V almost burrows into him. Remus tightens his grip again, rocking V back and forth the way he remembers Patton doing.

 “I—I’ve never had—“ V gasps against his shoulder— “I don’t know how—it—I—“

 “Shh, little monster,” Remus burbles, trying really really fucking hard to remember how to do this, “you, uh, you just breathe, okay? I’m right here. You don’t have to know things.”

 “—I don’t wanna be afraid,” V manages, “I don’t wanna be afraid.”

 “You don’t have to be, little monster, you don’t.”

 “Y-you—“

 “Hang on, little monster,” Remus interrupts gently when V’s breaths start to get faster again, “you gotta slow down, come on…”

 They breathe together.

 “…yeah?”

 “You make me feel safe,” V blurts, “and—and I don’t wanna…I don’t wanna not.”

 His fingers tap out an anxious rhythm on Remus’s back.

 “Feral is scary.”

 “Feral is scary,” Remus murmurs in agreement, “and, uh, I’m trying not to do it.”

 He pulls back and gently nuzzles into V’s hair.

 “Don’t wanna scare you.”

 “No one’s ever been angry for me before,” V whispers, “it’s…it’s nice.”

 “Well, I’m not gonna stop being angry at them,” Remus mutters, “but I will get better at not scaring you.”

 “I-it’s okay.”

 “No, it’s not, little monster,” Remus corrects gently, “the others are right. I could hurt you going feral way more than I would hurt anyone who deserves it. So I gotta be better about that. For you.”

 “For me?”

 Remus clutches him tighter. “For you.”

 He’s being serious. Absolute fucking stone right now. This cinched it. He could’ve hurt V really fucking bad by going feral right then. He knows he can’t risk that happening again, so he’s gotta figure his shit out real fast.

 There’s one person he knows will be able to help him.

 L raises an eyebrow when Remus appears next to his desk. “Well, this certainly is unexpected. Is something the matter?”

 “Yeah.” Remus shuffles. L’s room makes him feel like sandpaper. “I need your help not going feral.”

 L blinks. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting. I must highlight the fact that suppressing your nature is not a long-term solution.”

 “I’m not trying to stop it permanently. I just…” Remus twists his hands together. “I fucked up earlier.”

 L sits. “Tell me?”

 Remus explains what happened, from the fetch to the ride to learning that one of the reasons that fucking hurt so much was that they burned—

 “I see,” L interrupts stiffly, his own hands starting to clench, “and I am…proud of you, Duke.”

 Remus blinks. “Wait, what? Why?”

 “Of your restraint,” L mutters, “and of the fact that you recognized that this was a problem and you have come to try and find a solution.”

 Rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, Remus gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to relieve the extra energy. Going feral twice in one day is not a good idea.

 “Don’t do that,” L says.

 “Do what?”

 “Bite.” L taps the side of his mouth. “Not healthy.”

 Remus rolls his eyes. “it’s not like I’m gonna bleed out, L.”

 “No, you won’t,” L says, “but it’s still not a healthy coping mechanism.”

 “So?”

 “So—“ L crosses his arms— “you’re trying to be better for V. V will very much be hurt by something like that.”

 Ah.

 Fuck, that’s a good reason.

 “Okay,” Remus mutters, “okay. What can I do?”

 “What helps you calm down normally,” L asks, “when you go feral?”

 “Fuck, I don’t know,” Remus sighs, “I don’t—it’s not—it’s not like it’s happened recently!”

 “It’s V, isn’t it?”

 “What?”

 “V.” L motions for Remus to sit down, folding his hands in his lap. “V has…a lot of emotional trauma. You are perhaps the most linked with emotional trauma.”

 “Isn’t that Pat-Pat’s job?”

 L shakes his head. “Pat works with emotion, what is currently being experienced. You, however, and your brother, are more closely tied to memory.”

 “So…”

 “So you, more than any of us, even your brother, are being affected by this change.”

 “But it’s not his fault.”

 “No, and neither is it yours. It simply is.” Remus buries his face in his hands. “Not the answer you were looking for, I’m sure.”

 “Really fucking wasn’t.”

 “You didn’t answer my question,” L prompts, “what normally helps you calm down?”

 “Fuck, I don’t know! Calming down isn’t really my strong suit. That’s my birthday suit.”

 L pinches the bridge of his nose. “Focus, please.”

 Remus sits back in the chair. What helps him calm down?

 Well…

 “…safe,” Remus mumbles, “safe makes me calm down.”

 “When you feel safe?”

 He shakes his head. “When V is safe.”

 L makes a noise of understanding. “Your ‘going feral’ is caused by the pain you experience when V is under stress, caused by his past trauma. Thus whenever you can remind yourself that he is safe, and no longer in danger, it helps you snap out of it.”

 “But now I’m the danger.”

 “Are you trying to hurt V?”

 “What?” Remus leaps to his feet, the air crackling. L sits, impassive as always. “No!”

 “Are you willingly putting V in situations where you know he will be upset?”

 “What the fuck is—“

 “Are you?”

 “No!”

 “When you are in a place where you could hurt V,” L continues, still smooth as fucking glass in his chair, “do you try and distance yourself so you do not?”

 Oh. Remus gets it now.

 “…yeah.”

 “Then,” L says firmly, “you are not the danger you believe yourself to be.”

 Remus sits back in the chair slowly. “…said I make him feel safe.”

 “You do,” L says, “more than most of us do, I would guess. I imagine that…having someone be as protective as you are is something quite foreign to V.”

 “Shouldn’t be.”

 “No. It shouldn’t.”

 Remus scrubs his hands over his face, wishing that this was fucking easy, that they could just…wipe them all out. Make the fear go away. Make the scars disappear.

 But they can’t.

 “What can I do, then,” Remus mumbles, “it—it wasn’t so bad today because Princey showed up.”

 “Having another person helped?”

 “No, well, kind of.” Remus twists his hands together again. “…made sure he pulled V outta the way.”

 “Mm.”

 There’s a few moments of silence while L thinks, idly tapping a finger against his wrist.

 “I have noticed,” he says after a while, “that the times when you are most likely to ‘go feral,’ so to speak, coincide with times when V is experiencing particularly high levels of stress.”

 Remus nods.

 “You have also stated that when V feels safe, and perhaps when you are able to make him feel safe, you’re able to calm down faster.”

 Another nod. L’s fucking good at problem-solving.

 “Do you think, then,” L says, “that if we were to help you get better at calming V down, you would, in turn, be able to calm yourself faster?”

 “L, you’re a fucking genius.”

 L blushes too, did you know that? “Well, I…”

 “So what do I do?”

 “Right.” L adjusts his tie. “What do you know already?”

 Remus thinks. “He, uh, he likes to be asked before anything happens, including being moved or touched.”

 “Good. What else?”

 “…he doesn’t like loud noises, or bright lights.”

 “Good.”

 “No fire.”

 “Mm.”

 “He likes the lake?”

 “Does it help him calm down?”

 “…dunno.”

 L nods. “Anything else?”

 Remus thinks. What else, what else…

 “Having his eyes closed,” he says carefully, “helped before, didn’t it? Stopped him from getting super overwhelmed?”

 “That is possible,” L says, “but it is unlikely to be something you try first, as it would require a decent amount of cognitive awareness or physical contact to achieve, both of which are not frequent in times of high stress.”

 “What can I do, then?”

 “How likely do you think it is that you will be able to speak calmly?”

 Remus snorts. The corner of L’s mouth quirks up.

 “Mm. Then it might be better to try something else, then.”

 “Something else?”

 L tilts his head, looking at Remus with that stare that makes him feel like L can see through him. “I have also noticed that with you, V does not seem as…averse to physical contact.”

 Wait, what?

 “When you held him in the garden, when he first arrived,” L says, “and when you rubbed his back. He was not afraid of you, no more than he was startled. Admittedly, this was during a prolonged period of high stress.”

 “W-wait, you’re right, earlier, he—“ Remus wraps his arms around himself— “by the lake, he…he asked for me. He…”

 “He initiated contact?”

 “…yeah.”

 A soft smile comes over L’s face. “I’m pleased.”

 “Why?”

 “Because you, perhaps more than the rest of us,” L continues, “are very eager to protect V. So much so that it leads to…”

 “Going feral.”

 “Indeed. And if V chooses to seek comfort from you…” L raises his eyebrows pointedly.

 “…then…then I can do it that way.”

 “Correct.”

 L gets up, reaching for a glass of water. He holds it out to Remus who takes it carefully.

 “Why’s this so fucking hard?”

 “Because nothing like this is easy, Duke,” L answers, fetching a glass for himself, “for anyone involved. I, for one, am impressed.”

 “…by?”

 “You.”

 “Me?”

 “Yes,” L says, “and how much you have…decided to change your approach.”

 Ah. Yeah.

 Yeah, the last time they found a mortal that had been…mistreated—apparently, Pat-Pat had an issue with Remus calling it ‘super fucked up’ even though it was—they’d died just on the outskirts of the garden.

 “Not with V,” Remus mumbles, “I want V to stay. They were already gone.”

 A few moments of silence pass, then there’s a soft whoosh.

 L sighs. “You can come out, J.”

 J strides out of the shadows, part of Remus’s mind trying valiantly to convince him that he’s been there the whole time. He hasn’t, Remus fucking knows he hasn’t, but still.

 “Where’s V?”

 “With Pat,” J answers smoothly, “eating.”

 “Good,” L says, “difficult emotional experiences should be followed by food.”

 Remus winces. He can almost feel the fucking room get colder. J’s head tilts.

 “I’m sure I know exactly what you’re referring to,” he says softly, “and I wouldn’t appreciate an explanation.”

 L, the asshole, just looks at Remus. Remus sighs and explains again.

 J takes one deep breath and lets it out slowly. Remus bows his head, waiting. Then he feels gloved fingers carding through it and he shudders.

 “Did you need something?” he hears L ask.

 “I was out for a walk,” J says, still stroking Remus’s hair, “by the lake. Something felt…off. So I tried to find the duke.”

 “‘M here.”

 “I can see that.”

 “Needed L’s help.”

 “And did you get it?” Remus nods, not wanting to jar J’s hand loose. “Good.”

 “We do just have the theory, however,” L muses, “and no practice.”

 “I may be able to help with that.”

 Remus looks up when J’s fingers leave his hair. “I’m listening.”

 It’s later, much later, when Remus finally leaves L’s room. The forest is twinkling, his brother sitting crosslegged on his favorite stump. Remus hugs him tightly, thanks him for being there earlier.

 “Of course, Re,” his brother murmurs, “and thank you for being there.”

 “I will be,” Remus says, “I will be.”

 It’s not much later when Remus is walking back to the clearing and a scream rips through the air.

  V.

 The door is locked. It’s locked tight. Remus can’t push. He can’t push. He can’t ruin this.

 The scream keeps going.

 “V! V!”

  Keeps going.

 It aches. It aches and the longer it goes, the longer it hurts, the harder it gets for Remus to keep from breaking the door down. Then a flurry of footsteps and—

 “V!”

 Remus catches V as he barrels out of his room, barely having enough time to open his arms and catch his balance. V’s eyes, wide with panic, settle on Remus’s face.

 “V,” Remus repeats softly, “V.”

 “…duke?”

 “Yeah. Yeah, little monster, it’s Duke.”

 “…duke.”

 Remus eases them to the ground, keeping his arms firmly around V. He draws him gently into his lap, closing his eyes and burying his face in V’s hair, feeling V curl up in his lap, still shaking, still shivering. A bolt of pain shoots through his chest when he feels the raw cry against his throat and his arms tighten around V, trying in vain to take some of that pain and push it into himself. V so desperately needs to stay mortal, to stay V, to feel. The last thing he wants is for this to destroy V beyond repair.

 “It’s alright, little monster, I got you, you’re safe, I’m not going to let anything hurt you, shh, just keep breathing for me.”

 He keeps up the litany of calm reassurances and comforting noises, rocking V back and forth on the ground. V’s shuddering breaths echo in the still clearing. His hands and arms tremble violently against Remus’s back and he can’t tell whether it’s because they’re holding onto him so tightly that his muscles are shaking or if he’s panicking so much he can’t stop shaking. The monster growling inside Remus’s chest starts snarling when V shudders harder.

  No. Not now. He’s safe. Keep him safe.

 Remus breathes. Tells the beastie in his chest to pipe the fuck down. Wraps himself around V and holds him close.

  Safe. Safe. Safe.

  They’re safe.

 “...V?”

 V mumbles, burying his cold nose in Remus’s neck.

 “Hey, V,” Remus murmurs, “can we, uh, can we get you out of the forest? It’s gonna get cold before too long, little monster.”

 V nods, not moving.

 “…can I carry you then, little monster?”

 Another nod.

 Scooping V gingerly into his arms, Remus hesitates. He doesn’t want to take V into his room, not now, but he also doesn’t want to push V too far, to push his way into V’s room.

 “V? Little monster?” V moves a little bit. “Can we go into your room?”

 “…stay?”

 “Yeah, V, I’ll stay with you, little monster.”

 Remus carries him inside, gently sitting on the floor with V still in his lap when he flinches at the noise the bed makes. He uses his tentacles to hold them slightly off the floor. He keeps rocking them slowly back and forth, murmuring safe, safe, safe.

 “…safe?”

 “Yeah, V.” Remus swallows. “We’re safe.”

 “You promise?”

 “I promise.” He adjusts his grip. “…you wanna talk about it? It’s okay if you don’t.”

 V mumbles something.

 “I can’t hear you, little monster,” Remus murmurs, shifting a little, “can you say it again?”

 “…just names.”

 “Names?”

 V clutches Remus’s arms tightly. “…names they used to call me.”

 “Like what? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he adds hastily.

 V hooks his chin over Remus’s shoulder, still breathing hard. Remus glances around.

 “Can I get you something to drink?” V nods. “Still want me to keep hold of you?”

 “…please?”

 “Sure.”

 Tentacles are useful things. When V has a glass of water in his hands, Remus lets him sit back a little, drinking carefully as Remus runs his hands over V’s back. V’s eyes drift closed and he lets out a tired mumble.

 “Sleepy?”

 “Mm.”

 Remus hums, letting V collapse a little bit more into his lap. He turns V slightly so that he can keep hold of the water.

 “…said I was a demon.”

 “What?”

 “The…others,” V mumbles, fear and weariness warring in his tone, “said I was a demon. That I was…cursed.”

 Words are so fucking stupid.

 Mortals are so fucking stupid.

 “You’re not cursed, V,” Remus says firmly, “promise. We’d be able to tell if you were.”

 “…really?”

 “What the hell made them say you were cursed?”

 V hesitates, little ripples appearing in the water. Remus tugs him closer, murmuring safe, safe, safe.

 “…my eyes,” V whispers, “they said my eyes showed I was…evil.”

 Now that.

 That is truly the fucking stupidest thing Remus has ever heard.

 V giggles softly when Remus says as much, letting Remus stroke a hand through his hair and wrap his other arm firmly around his waist. He slips a hand slowly under V’s tunic, pressing against his tummy and rubbing.

 “Mm,” V hums, “…warm.”

 “Good,” Remus says, “good, V.”

 He shakes his head. So fucking stupid.

 “You’re not cursed, V. You’re not evil. You’re not a demon. Words are fucking stupid and mortals are stupid too.”

 “…they are?”

 “In big groups? Absolutely.” Remus sets his chin protectively on top of V’s head. “You are a smart one. And that’s good.”

 “I’m good?”

 The vulnerable shake in V’s voice coaxes Remus to guide V’s gaze upward.

 “You are,” he says firmly, brushing the hair out of V’s violet, violet eyes. “And your eyes are fucking stunning.”

 He chuckles when V flushes, trying to hide his face in Remus’s neck again.

 “Princey must’ve had fun with you, hmm?”

 “Still is,” comes the mumble.

 “He’s not hurting you, is he?”

 “…no, I’m just…not used to it.”

 Remus hums, closing his eyes. The arm around V’s waist squeezes tightly. At the breath that sounds almost torn out of him, V relaxes.

 “…is that what Oliver’s hugs feel like?”

 Grinning, Remus squeezes him tighter. “You want to find out tomorrow?”

 “…please?”

 “Of course, little monster.”

 V’s not cursed.

V’s not a demon.

 And V’s eyes are gorgeous.

 Words are just fucking stupid.

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[jihyuncompass]

Hello... May I do a platonic request of the RFA+V+Saeran with a teen!Mc on their routes?

This ended up being quite a bit longer than I had planned originally but hey more to enjoy right? 

Zen

Zen would of course obviously be concerned. 

He’s a sweet guy! He’s a protective guy! 

He was a teen runaway, he knows what the streets are like. They’re no place for someone young and on their own. 

So as soon as he learns your age, Zen’s protective nature kicks in. 

Congratulations! Zen is your older brother now. No one is ever going to hurt you again. Also no you don’t really have a say in the matter.

When the whole Echo Girl scandal hits, he’s very careful around you. He cares about you, and the last thing he wants is for you to be dragged into this mess with him. The worst thing he imagines is the press finding out about you. Possibly accusing him of harming you or taking advantage of you in some way. 

He would never hurt you, and he doesn’t want anyone getting any ideas. To him, you’re his younger sibling and he’ll do everything to protect you.

And unfortunately, for a little while that means keeping you at a small bit of a distance. Although considering its Zen. It’s not too much of a distance.  

Soon things with Echo Girl start to calm down, but then. There’s the bomb, and Unknown. 

The moment he comes into that apartment, sees you, a child. And Unknown trying to take you away. Zen knows that he has to get you to safety. He doesn’t even think when he grabs you and starts running, all he knows is you’re safe with him, and he won’t let this guy take you away and hurt you. 

That protective older brother nature only becomes more intense once you’re at his apartment. He’s checking up on you constantly. Are you hurt? Are you scared? But he’ll also reassure you, you’re safe with him. That guy isn’t coming back. It’s okay. 

He takes you back to his apartment. Where he can properly watch over you. Make sure that the hacker can’t get to you again. Can’t try and take you away to god only knows where. 

After his route ends he still cares for you. Through this experience it’s only cemented that you’re family to him. And unlike his own family, he’s gonna stick with you and support you no matter what. 

Yoosung 

When you meet Yoosung he’s still in the midst of his grief over Rika. 

Her death left a huge impact on him. After all he did look up to her so much. She was his role model, his hero. And well now she was gone. 

Your arrival however marks a turning point in his life. Not only are you the newest member of the RFA but you’re also just a kid too. 

He’s actually pretty excited that you’re younger than him. It’s nice not being the youngest member of RFA anymore. 

It doesn’t take a super long time for Yoosung to take you under his wing. He remembers what it was like being a teenager, it’s not like it was all that long ago. 

Also he just thinks you’re really cool! You try and stop Seven from pranking him too much and you like to talk to him about video games! What could be better?

In a way, he starts treating you the same way Rika treated him when he was younger. As a role model, as someone to look up to. Instead of seeing Rika in you, he starts to see Rika in himself. He did always want to be like her anyways. Have that sort of influence on people. Just like she did on him. 

You start to notice his habits changing. He starts gaming less and studying more. If he wants to be a good role model then he has to act the part right? 

Like with Zen. When he learns about the bomb in the apartment he’s instantly concerned and angry. The anger he felt towards V during his route was intense, but this is much much worse. Because not only is there a bomb in the apartment, there’s a kid, in the apartment with the bomb. 

This gives him all the more reason to go to Mint Eye and face the hacker. As long as the hacker is active, you’re not safe. And to him, your safety is the most important thing. 

He’s hesitant to let you see his eye injured. He doesn’t want to scare you. Or worry you. He needs to seem like a good role model. 

But you don’t care about that stuff, you just want him to be okay. That is all that matters to you. 

After his route ends he of course stays close with you. How could he not after everything that happened? Yoosung will always be a good friend to you. Especially once he graduates University, he truly becomes someone you want to admire. 

Jaehee

Jaehee is absolutely concerned when he learns of your age. 

She’s friendly towards you, of course he is. She’ll probably be less suspicious of you than she normally would be. However in exchange she’s also very hesitant around you. 

However with time she’ll warm up to you a lot. In a lot of ways she’s like your cool put-together older sister you can talk to.

There’s a lot of bonding over Zen’s musicals. She’s more than happy to educate you on everything there is to do with Zen’s career. You’re like her little fandom protegee. 

During her route she may see a lot of her younger self in you. She’s forced to think a lot on her own past and how she ended up where she is now. 

Looking at you she imagines her past going differently, her life turning out a different way. What else could she have been doing now? If life had been a little different. 

Jaehee’s the kind of person who will happily hear you talk about what you’re passionate about. She had to give up a lot of her own dreams in order to be successful, but she wants you to be able to follow your own passions. 

Knowing you, and thinking about herself as a teenager really helps embolden her. She realizes that she should be trying to follow her passions. Not just survive. 

At the RFA party she thanks you sincerely for everything you’ve done for her. For inspiring her, for helping her gain courage. 

He also promises to help you achieve your own dreams. Being the person she needed when she was young. 

She’ll still open her cafe, however she’ll promise that once you’re old enough, and ready you’ll always be welcome to work and help her run things. 

Jahee’s never had a sibling, and it’s been years since she’s had a significant familial relationship with anyone. But together, you’re like a little family. Someone who helped her find a new path in life. And for that she is eternally grateful. 

Jumin

Jumin is very taken aback when he learns of your age. 

Jumin is tricky because I don’t think he’d talk down to you because of your age, but he definitely isn’t going to pretend that you’re an adult. 

Regardless of age, the way into Jumin’s heart is through his cat. If you show genuine heartfelt interest in Elizabeth the 3rd. He’s going to like you. 

Another way is through cracking jokes with him. Jumin is so funny, but his humor tends to go over most people’s heads. Laugh at his jokes, and it doesn’t matter your age Jumin’s going to appreciate talking to you. 

At first, you’re probably going to be a little intimidated by Jumin. Not only is he an adult but he’s also Jumin Han he’s smart, he’s powerful, he’s rich. 

However after a while you start to feel comfortable with him. He doesn’t seem to scary or powerful as he did at first. (Although every once in a while he might say something that reminds you he is the Jumin Han).

It doesn’t take very long for Jumin to grow a sort of attachment to you. You always seem to know what to say to him. Which is something the RFA notices very quickly about the two of you. 

So when things in Jumin’s life get complicated Having you be the one to go see him almost feel obvious. 

That feeling of being intimidated definitely returns when you go to the Penthouse. It’s so large and fancy, and extremely overwhelming the first time. 

Once you see him though, and start talking with him it becomes easier. It gets more natural, like it is in the chatroom. 

When Elizabeth runs away he becomes incredibly protective over you. You’re a child after all, and what if you get hurt? What if someone tries and hurts you? He couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening to you. 

Similarly to how his route goes normally. You have to convince him that you can take care of yourself, and keeping the things he loves all locked up isn’t going to help anything.

You have to encourage him to not view you just as a child. But someone who is capable and can take care of them self. It might take a while, but eventually Jumin will come to understand. 

Obviously he’s not going to propose to you at the party. But he makes it clear that he considers you apart of his family, and if you would let him. He wants to be part of yours too, and having any bond with Jumin Han means that he’ll always be there for you, looking out for you always. 

Seven/Saeyoung

He’s aware of your age right from the very start. Once he does his background check he knows EXACTLY how old you are. 

To him this is just another reason you shouldn’t get to involved with him. You’re a kid and he’s a messy with a lot of messy stuff in his life. And the last thing he wants is you getting caught up in his messy life. 

Still he likes joking around with you. He doesn’t prank you the way he does Yoosung but he loves cracking jokes with you. It’s the kind of humor and validation that he adores. 

During his route, it’s complicated trying to get through to him. 

Seven is dealing with many of the same worries that he does normally. But now there’s this added layer that you’re a kid. You’re a kid trying to make friends with someone very dangerous. While also living in an apartment with a bomb. 

It’s... a lot for him to say the least. And as a result it weighs on him heavily. He can’t help but care about you, you’re just a kid who’s been forced into this whole mess. 

While he’d never say it out loud to himself he thinks a lot about his brother. 

This of course increases tenfold when Seven sees his brother at the apartment. Seeing his brother just proves in his mind that he failed him somehow. That something is very very wrong, and that you shouldn’t be near him. 

Like in his route, you have to be patient with him. Empathize with him while also being firm. While I do think he’s less likely to last out as aggressively towards you because of your age. He’s still closed off from you and keeps pushing you away from him. 

However, with time his head will start to clear a bit. He’ll realize that pushing you away isn’t going to do any good, you’ve already proved that you aren’t going to just leave him alone. 

But also, when he sees you he thinks so much about his brother. The young bright eyes he had when looking up at the sky. He couldn’t protect Saeran, but in his mind he thinks maybe he can protect you. 

After his route the two of you obviously stay close. Even past the secret ends. Saeyoung’s life was mostly defined by the family he chose to have. His brother, the RFA, you. And after he has his brother back and you in his life. He feels like his family is complete. 

V/Jihyun

V feels so guilty. 

You’re a kid. A child. And you’ve been forced into this horrible situation. 

He’s so determined to get you out. To get you as far away from Mint Eye, from Rika as possible. 

If you thought V was self sacrificing in his normal route it’s even worse here. He’s so scared of you getting hurt, of Rika hurting you or even getting near you. 

He does what he can to protect you from Rika and Saeran. Trying to keep you as safe and innocent as he can. He worries about Rika corrupting you, forcing you to believe in her twisted philosophy and methods. Just like what happened with Saeran. 

After you manage to escape Mint Eye with Seven’s help you’re helping V in every way you can. 

He feels even more guilty, he hates that you need to help him. That you need to be the one protecting him right now. 

Getting over the elixir is difficult for him. It’s physically painful and emotionally torturous. However, he’s so very very grateful that you’re there for him through it all. Somehow managing to care for him through it all. 

He deeply values your perspective. You see the world so differently than he does. Maybe because of your age or your experiences. You have this resilience that he admires so much. So when you tell him that he could start over his life. Become a new person. It’s somehow easier for him to believe. 

Despite his rough condition, V truly grows a sort of connection with you during this time. You’re genuinely kind to him. Even though he knows that he doesn’t deserve the kindness you’re showing him. 

At the end of his route he still leaves for two years. He cares about you, he wants to hold onto the bond that you’ve grown together. But he’s also far from the man he wants to be. He wants to be able to protect you, and have a bond with you that is healthy. Balanced. 

You keep in contact with him through letters. He loves sending you photos or little souvenirs from where he’s been. It’s a reminder that he’s still thinking of you, And you’re someone still precious to him. 

When he returns two yeas later. It’s the happiest you think you’ve ever been. You’re two years older now, more grown up but your bond with V hasn’t gone away. 

You’re his friend. Someone who he cares about. To you, he’s a role model, and he’s a good friend. Someone you are very grateful to have in your life. 

Saeran

Oh boy. Okay

Like his brother, Ray knew your age, and unfortunately. It’s one of the reasons he chooses you. 

You’re young, naive. He doesn’t think you’re going to be able to see through what Mint Eye is really doing. And he’s older than you, so you’ll definitely listen to him then. 

He knows he likes being around you right after he meets you in person. 

You’re so nice. You treat him with such kindness all the time. Even when he knows he’s lying to you about the nature of what you’re doing. 

Even after you discover the truth about the “game” you still seem to trust him. Something he’s grateful for, even if he doesn’t quite understand it. 

This is also when the doubts start to set in for him. He’s been told that people will want to hurt and manipulate him. But you don’t seem to want to do that at all? And even without the Elixir you’re a good person.A happy person. 

He also thinks about the physical effects of the elixir. The body pains, the headaches. He doesn’t want you to go through that. You’re so young, and even if you maybe stronger than he is who knows what it would do to you.

So, he can’t let that happen. 

Now, let’s talk about Suit Saeran for a minute because he’s.... complicated. 

He’s scary. He wants to scare you. He wants to prove to you and to himself that you’re weak that he’s stronger than you are. 

On the other hand, he won’t be too violent. Deep down he knows that you’re a kid. And no matter how angry he is he’s refuses to hurt you the same way he had been hurt as a child and as an adult. 

It’s your kindness that helps bring him back to himself again. Helping to reunite the fragmented parts of his mind. These pieces all with the same goal. To leave Mint Eye and to take you with him. 

Saeran has never been able to have a happy family. And while things are complicated. You’re his family now, and he’s going to be the best big brother he can be for you. 

After his route, Saeran has a lot of healing to do. He has so many years of hurt to process and to learn to cope with. You yourself have to deal with everything that happened over the course of your time at Mint Eye. 

No matter what though. the one thing that the two of you are certain of, is that you’ll always be there for each other. You’re in this together. 

[prince-of-elsinore]

More reasons to enjoy Season 12

Part 2 to this post

These are just my (mostly) not too serious thoughts on things I enjoyed about season 12 (which believe me, I do have criticism of, but not for this post) now that I have finished my re-watch of it.

- they unfridged the original fridged woman. bold move, good course correction

- Mick as a foil to Sam, Ketch as a foil to Dean. That's all. 

- it's goddamn refreshing to have Sam and Dean on the same page most of the time! Like in 12x15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell, Sam has been keeping the secret that he's working with the BMOL. But the secret only lasts one episode, and when Sam realizes he needs to come clean, Dean doesn't blow up at him. Sam being honest and Dean being accepting of Sam's decision: both evidence of growth! And in 15x20 The Future, they're on the same page about not wanting to let Cass go with Kelly. They both think he's been brainwashed (b/c that is definitely what it looks like). I just like seeing them agree on stuff, ok?

- Sam embracing his life and feeling comfortable with himself!! I see this season as a turning point, especially for Sam. I don't believe he's simply been brow-beaten into accepting a life he hates; I think he's consciously choosing to embrace the good of what he does and to take pride in it. His relationship with hunting will never be the same as Dean's, but, like I said: they're on the same page. As he tells Mary in 12x14 The Raid--"I chose this life." This is mostly due to choosing Dean, more than choosing hunting, but in any case, it is a conscious choice and Sam is making the one that is worth it to him, the choice that brings him fulfillment. And he even sees new worth in hunting itself, in a way that is very much in line with his character, as he expresses in 12x18 The Memory Remains (which I talk about more here).

- and that newfound confidence and comfort with who he is allows Sam to take a huge step in 12x22 Who We Are. I was so proud of him when he says "I called you here" instead of "We called you here." Sam has always had an independent streak, and he's stepping out from Dean's shadow in a healthy way here. He's allowing himself to be an individual agent. I always felt that in the end, he needed something of his own to be fulfilled, more than hunting with Dean--either a mentorship or leadership position (both of which he gets in the late seasons). This is his first step towards that, and he's so capable of it! He is a badass and he leads the hunters to victory over the BMOL on his own. 

- and Dean lets him!! This is a huge step for Dean too! Of course he's still worried about Sam (the "you come back" gets me every time), but he's not insisting on being there to protect him. He believes in Sam. He tells Sam he's ready for this, and when Sam hears it from Dean, he knows it's true. They need each other, but here we're seeing need of a healthier type--the way no one is an island, and we all need the love and support of our friends/family. They offer each other that, and it gives them the strength they need. I was so proud of Dean in that moment.

- ALSO so proud of Dean for, for once, acknowledging his own needs. Trying to save Mary is the right task for Dean--he'll never give up on family. But in the process, he speaks some truths that needed speaking. Admitting that he was set up to fail in raising Sam, that his whole life has been so unfair. Letting himself feel resentment towards the family whose hold is so tight on him. But, at the end of the day, still choosing love. "I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand... 'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once." Dean understands better than anyone that sometimes love causes harm, but it's still love and who can blame a person who acts out of love? And the thing is, love can also redeem. And here, Mary and Dean, both of whom have made some terrible choices in the name of love, find their way back to each other through love. Dean gives Mary the forgiveness he seeks for himself. This is Dean at his best.

- and even Sam gets in on the action. He, too, chooses love, and forgiveness. The family hug at the end of Who We Are is EVERYTHING.

- ok Who We Are isn't the only good episode so I'm gonna backtrack to talk about some others, like 12x11 Regarding Dean--it's funny! It's sad! Carrying on a great spn tradition of episodes like Mystery Spot and Yellow Fever. The sticky notes are wonderful. Sam knowing Dean well enough to leave them in the trunk of the Impala, with a big "NO" over the grenade launcher. Dean holding up "Witch Killing Bullets" without saying a word. Pointing his gun in confusion at Sam, who yells and points, "Brother! Witch!" :)

- 12x12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)—who doesn’t love a Tarantino tribute? (Having just watched Kill Bill, I can certainly say I love it). And the return of the Colt! Crowley's "It’s amazing what some people just leave laying about." Snark king.

- 12x13 Family Feud—I want to write a longer meta about the theme of family and love and sacrifice in this episode, so I won't go into it here. But another nice thing is how united the brothers are in their anger when Mary reveals she's been working with the BMOL. It's the closest we get to addressing Sam's torture and violation at the beginning of the season. I get the feeling Dean isn't so angry b/c of what Lady Bevell did to him, but b/c of what she did to Sam, which makes me think he knows it was bad, and Dean supported Sam in whatever he needed after that, whether it was talking about it or just giving some space, etc. Love some defensive big brother Dean.

- 12x14 The Raid—Actually a pretty tense action episode. And Mick is cool.

- 12x16 Ladies Drink Free—The Mick team-up is fun (I like changing up the dynamics), as is seeing them stay in a 3 star hotel lol. Dean has some good moments that highlight his growth, too. His "I used to think the same thing, too" to Mick, as if it weren't already obvious that he's taken "saving people" more to heart than "hunting things." He's done a lot of work to evolve beyond who he was with the Mark of Cain and even before. He also makes it perfectly clear what he thinks of guys skeeving on underage girls, and it's nice the writers finally emphasize that Dean does not like that behavior. He's past the point in his life where he'd make a joke about cheerleaders being legal (back in season 4. Quick digression: that's definitely a gross thing to say, but I always saw it as performative more than a declaration of intent. He puts on what he thinks macho guys would say. Not that Dean doesn't oggle what he likes, but one thing has always been very clear to me about Dean--he's a fan of enthusiastic consent. Anyway this should probably be a longer post b/c I could talk about Dean and performative masculinity and sexual attraction ad nauseam so I'll leave it there)

- 12x18 The Memory Remains—I've already gone over in my previous meta what this ep says about legacy, but there are other fun things about it. Like a Goat-headed monster! Man, how long has it been since the bros took on an urban legend like this? Like... any since freakin' Bloody Mary? Also Dean being cool with the kid smoking weed. You just know he likes to light up sometimes. Man, I need more weed-smoking Dean in my life

- 12x20 Twigs and Twine and Tasha Banes--this is a good fuckin ep. Finally, someone else on this goddamn show is allowed to be as codependent and unwise as Sam and Dean, and isn't punished for it. Let Max keep his wood-puppet sister! (Wow I KNOW it's really fucked up b/c I guess he can control her, too, but damn if it isn't fascinating. And sad. I hope they figure out some way to restore her autonomy) I stan two (2) codependent witch twins

- 12x21 Something About Mary--I'm a sucker for the silent communication and flawless telepathy as Sam and Dean find the bug and lay the trap for the BMOL. And that letter from Eileen :C (Even if her thing with Sam leaves me cold, I'm glad she got to come back to life b/c she sure didn't deserve to go like that)

- Ok one more thing about Who We Are--I'm a sucker for the angst of them thinking they're gonna die trapped in the bunker. And then Dean comes through with the grenade launcher, AND gets out the hole before it caves in. BAMF. I love that they saved themselves rather than some deus ex machina. No Supernatural interference necessary. Not even any deals with reapers, etc.

- I lied, one MORE thing about Who We Are--Sam doesn't take the bad deal Hess offers him (to help with Lucifer)! Once upon a time, I believe that Sam would have been so scared that he'd take the deal with the snake, masking his fear and foolishness as pragmatism. But he knows his own worth now. He knows he doesn't need the BMOL, terrified as he is.

- Finally, it was sad to say goodbye to Crowley in the finale, but it was a worthy end. You'll be missed, Fergus MacLeod.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Oneshot: Substance - Bucky x Reader

Summary: After stumbling upon certain things on your boyfriends phone, your self-esteem drops below zero.

Warnings: Self-hatred, Angst, Fatshaming, kinda Self-Harm (like withdrawal, not eating enough and overly excessive sport), one or two Swear Words.

Words: ~2900

A/N: Didn’t want to keep you guys waiting any longer, so this has been written in an hour without proof-reading. please have mercy with my soul

“Heya, sweetie-pie. Mind giving me the usual?”

There he was, 12 o’clock as usual. Bucky was leaning over the counter and staring at you with his piercing blue eyes.

He gave you a wink as he shoved the money over the counter, looking around the small but full diner. It was always that crowded at this time of the day.

“Come on, you doofus. You know it’s on me” you chuckled as you pressed the coins back in his hand, relishing at his warmth for a brief second before stepping back.

It has become a ritual to prepare his favourite on almost every single day, even though he claimed to love everything on your menu. His therapist once told him that a certain routine would help him adapt to society again, and he stuck to it pretty closely.

And visiting your restaurant was an important part of his day.

“Do you think we can spend the evening?” Your boyfriend was sipping on his coffee, eyes lighting up when you finally got him his piece of plum pie with whipped cream.

When you watched him eating it in almost one bite, you kind of admired him for being able to eat basically anything without gaining weight. But well, on the other hand, training and fighting were his daily bread, so it was no wonder those calories would be burned like it was nothing.

“Gosh, delicious as always” Bucky mumbled and you couldn’t surpress a quiet laugh at your dork while you were serving another customer. “And I mean you in that dress, not the food. Love your style.”

You usually avoided to fuel his stupid way of flirting, no matter how flattered you felt anyway. So you simply changed the topic. “Dunno. Might get late. Today seems to be very profitable.”

It was just wonderful how understanding Bucky was. Well, he knew he was a piece of work as well. Why should he be mad if you were sucessfull anyway?

So he just shrugged with a wide grin as he handed you over the empty plate, saying “Well, then I’ll tidy up the flat until you’re done. Guess who’s gonna get a back rub when they’re back home?”

“Sounds like a Netflix and Cuddle evening?”

“Everything you want, doll.” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, knowing you weren’t all that comfortable with PDA - at least at work. “I won’t bother you any longer.”

“You’re never bothering me.” Smirking, you admired the way his muscles bulged through his sleeveless top. “Distracting is a far better word.”

He won’t comment on your statement, rather winking at you and mumbling something like “You just wait until later...” as he already rushed out of the entrance.

Six hours later you were finally able to end your twelve hour shift and close the restaurant almost on time - well...plus the few customers who came about five minutes before closure, and having to clean up the mess you’d always leave behind when cooking as quick as possible.

“I’m home, darlin’!” you cheered as you threw your bag into a corner and got rid of your shoes.

Seems like he was in the shower, at least he yelled something like ‘having something for you when he’s done’.

Well, if the surprise was something cute or nasty - you’d have no problem with either one.

“Hey, babe!” his voice called you out of the bathroom. “Can you look up when we made the reservation for cinema? I made a screenshot from the booking confirmation.”

He’d always ask for that kind of stuff in the weirdest situations. Probably because he knew he’d forget it otherwise.

“Alright.” His smartphone was placed on the nightstand, as usually. It was a miracle that he learned to use it that quickly, but on the other hand he’d always been very invested with new technology.

The two of you had no secrets. And even if: Taking each others cellphones wouldn’t really tell you something you didn’t already know about each other, so it had never been a no-go to use the others phone.

You sat down on the edge of the bed after throwing your sweat-soaked and stained clothes into the basket, wishing Bucky would hurry up so you could clean up and enjoy some hot water.

Scrolling through his picture folder, you hummed a happy little song, already wondring what you’d do on your day off tomorrow.

James is still pretty awkward in todays society, but hell he knew how to treat a woman. And dates were his speciality.

“I can’t fi-” Your words turned into a loud gasp as you saw the preview image of a seemingly naked woman. Shocked, even though you felt bad for prying instead of trusting your partner, you klicked on it to see the whole picture.

It was exactly what you thought it was. That sort of picture drunk elderly men would send each other in Whatsapp Groups.

A beautiful woman, only wearing a thong and presenting it in a - let’s call it ‘seductive’ pose.

And the worst of all was the headline, floating above the models face:

“The Perfect Woman”

This was not the only pic of some sort - you found a dozen of it, videos as well.

Disgusting was the only thing that came to your mind.

Not the woman, though. You were not one to slut-shame anyway.

But a feeling of disgust came up when you layed down the phone and went to the mirror, watching yourself closely. And for the first time, you were not satisfied with what you were seeing.

Sure, you’ve always been kind of chubby. But up until now you’ve never doubtet your beauty.

Curves were always something beautiful to you, even though you had to admit that some days, you were asking yourself why you had to be the only one of your friends who had that hard cellulite and stretch marks.

Maybe if you’d already have kids or were older, you’d be fine with it, but...

On the other hand, your friends would admire the fact that you had bigger breasts and a ‘peach ass’, as they’d call it.

Your mother used to call it ‘atomar boobs’ and ‘birth-enthusiastic hips’, always making you laugh about how self-ironic she was. But on the inside you knew how much she was struggling as well.

There were so many forms of beauty, and you loved every single one of it - including your own. But now..

“Ugly” you told yourself again and again, while trying to find a suitable pose that didn’t make you look like a small, wobbly piece of fat.

Did the opinion of a man really matter more to you than your own? Now you also felt kind of pathetic.

Actually, you were just hurt. Of him not being honest, and obviously searching for something...you didn’t want to say ‘better’, but rather ‘different’ than you.

As former Winter Soldier, he might not be that popular, but his looks sure did the trick anyway. So why not searching for a thin woman if he loves them so much?

Or does he already know them? What if those were not mere pictures, but woman he actually contacted?

The thought alone made you tear up.

You’ve tried. Your whole life you did and he knew that.

It’s a problem you’ve been struggling for your whole youth, after all.

No matter how much sport or diets you tried out, your body just wouldn’t change. Even after you’ve got diagnosed with hypothyreosis, the medication would only do so much as prevent further weight gain.

Things got a lot easier when you were grown up, and the bullies would decrease.

You learned to love yourself, and realized that many people were into exactly your kind of body-type. After finding your own style and way of living, things became so much easier and you could finally be yourself.

“Heya, there” a familiar voice snickered behind your back, “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

The only reaction Bucky would gain was a pained groan, yet you didn’t dare to make a scene just yet. You wanted him to take the hints and be honest with you, that was what you had decided.

“Didn’t find the picture. Go look yourself.”

With that said, you’d walk straight past him and towards the bathroom. It took you quite a while to cry to your hearts extend, sobs being deafened by the pattering sounds of the shower.

You wrapped a towel around yourself, but when you saw your reflection again as you put on some lotion, you decided to wear the bathrobe.

No matter how you moved, you felt like some fat would always wiggle or roll up somehow - and Bucky felt your discomfort as soon as you greeted him with a twisted face.

“C’mon here, babydoll. We can talk.” He patted the spot right next to him on the bed, and goddamn it was just too unfair how he was posing there on the mattress, looking like a fucking adonis compared to you.

The very second you stiffly layed down next to him, you felt his hand slip under your bathrobe and squeeze your thigh, making you gasp.

“Maybe I can cheer you up otherwise before we talk...” he breathed into your ear, adding a bittersweet “I missed you.”

“Bucky, please. I’m tired.” Perfect. You managed to get that sentence out without your voice cracking once. Now you just needd to turn around and wrap yourself in your comforter before he’d see the tears in your eyes.

You didn’t want him - or anyone else - to touch you ever again.

“O-okay...” James stuttered, already reaching out his hand to touch your shoulder. But in the end, he retreated it, realizing you needed some time for yourself. “Imma be at the sofa if you need me.”

“Or tell me what the fuck is wrong all of a sudden...” He kept himself from saying that.

The following days were the hardest ones yet to come - for both of you.

It all started with you declining all offers from friends to go swimming or visiting some food-places, slowly but steadily withdrawing you from the happy, active life you’ve built up out of anger and shame.

You had grown quite distant as time passed, at first finding any kind of excuse for intimacy, and afterwards not even bearing any kind of physical contact. Not to speak of simple and carefree talking...

The air had become strained around the two of you, but Bucky was too afraid to ask you what was wrong.

Instead of letting off some steam through work as always, you took a few weeks off. It wasn’t like you needed the money anyway, looking at how successfull your work was.

Your restaurant, even though being more of a small diner, had been on the top of New Yorks most popular ones for years. And you were damn proud of it.

Bucky would always say you’re the only one who cooks just like home, and meanwhile you knew all of his favourite dishes.

An unconscious smile ghosted your lips when you thought back to the day where Bucky would go all Winter Soldier on a dude that made fun of you for being “a wandering cliché: a fat woman running a kitchen”. Ouch.

You didn’t go on vacation those days - there was different work to do.

Actually, you liked sports. For fun, that is. Like going to swim with your friends, or going for a walk. Sometimes visiting the gym, even. To you, it was more part of a healthy lifestyle instead of a competition for appreciation.

But now, things were different. You tried to built up your confidence again through secretly visiting the Avengers training rooms - yet to no avail.

Steve kindly offered you help with any certain training, but you declined. This was something you wanted to achieve yourself.

As if that would change anything about your feeling of betrayal...

“Fuck!” you exclaimed after almost falling off the treadmill, having to use the emergency turn-off. Even though many people assumed it, you weren’t really unfit. But those past days, you’ve just overloaded yourself through excessive training and eating almost nothing.

You kneeled down, desperately trying to catch your breath. Looking down, you saw your bruised knuckles from punching the bag earlier and thinking of that damn beautiful woman on Buckys cellphone.

If only you would have the courage to talk this through with him...but you were afraid of the outcome. Of the truth.

Knowing you were all alone on the floor, you finally gave in to your emotions, huddling to a fetal curl and starting to sob over your deadlocked situation.

“Y/N?”

Dear god no - it was Bucky. What was he doing here? It was not his usual training time!

On the other hand: What else did he have to do in his free-time, now that the other Avengers are on a mission and his girlfriend is avoiding him at all costs?

Actually, he wanted to let off some steam as well. But seeing you like this swung his mood in an instant, and he aided you immediately.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?!” There was genuine compassion in his voice, sorrow even. As if it was his fault.

He was kneeling right next to you, and for the first time in two weeks, you wouldn’t flinch at his touch. “Let me help you...”

“You don’t need to play anymore, James” you whimpered, slapping his hand away. “Just get this over with.”

Now you’ve got him mad. “What the fuck did I do wrong to deserve this, Y/N?!” he screamed and his metal fist would meet the floor, cracking it broken.

“I know damn well I’m far from the perfect boyfriend...” Bucky began to sniffle, still clenching and unclenching his fists. “But I thought you’d love me as I am.”

“You’re one to talk.” Fuck it, now that you seemingly screwed up anyway you could talk freely. “I’ve seen the photos, Bucky. Of the perfect woman. Many of them. Seems like you prefer something not remotely close to me.”

For a while, there was only silence.

Bucky dug his face deep into his palms, as if he wanted to disappear in them - or simply to facepalm in a pretty weird way.

“Doll, is that what all this is about?”

His reaction made you feel kinda strange. “Y-yeah.” Did you overreact?

“You know I don’t possibly know her. Don’t care about her or her body either.” He sat there, cross-legged and with a face as dark as your heart had been those past weeks.

“Then why do you keep a ton of photos of naked models on your phone?!” You jumped onto him, effectively knocking him over and pinning him on the floor. Out of a whim, you wanted to run away, but he trapped you in his hold.

“Gosh, why can’t you talk to me for once?” It almost sounded like he found it funny. “You’re usually one to be upfront about everything.”

A sole tear escaped every eye, but Bucky would catch them with his thumb.

“Sam sent them to me. We have that Whatsapp-Group, and he’s simply that single, horny dude that finds that kind of stuff funny. You know I never delete anything. I have over 5000+ photos on that shit phone.”

You were stunned, looking at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry, doll. I should’ve know you’d stumble across them eventually. But you were always so confident and strong, the thought of it bothering you never crossed my mind.”

“Y-you-” Gosh, what a fucking idiot you were. “You’re not at fault, Buck! I’m so sorry! I feel so stupid right now.”

“And I thought you wanted to leave me...” he murmured, mainly to himself.

“Wha- how could I ever?! You’re the love of my life! Why else do you think your opinion matters this much to me? Look where we are right now!”

“And you know that the beauty-standarts of the 40s are exactly what you look like, right?”

The situation changed so drastically, it left both of you in boisterous laughter.

When you finally catched your breath, holding your thummy at how much you laughed, Bucky would not give you a break - rather cupping your cheeks and pulling your lips onto his.

“Look” he breathed out calmly, his cheek barely brushing yours. “I feel stupid for even saying this, but: My girl doesn’t have to be a model. Beauty is a concept, dear. Everyone pictures something else when they think of it. And I think of you.”

You had already snuggled up onto his chest as he swiftly picked you up, your ear able to sense his heartbeat. Absentmindedly running your hand over his prosthetic one, you realized that you were not the only one who was self-conscious about their appearance.

But just like you never doubted the true beauty of your lover, neither did he.

“Y/N...You’re strong and smart and kind. No one had ever touched my heart the way you did. That’s all that counts.”

_______

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[insertsexualitypun]

Some things I want from Legacies S3

This is going to be all over the place and pretty long. This’ll start with the general storyline things, then get down into smaller character arcs and whatnot. I’ll try to keep it somewhat organized and grouped by character but I make no promises. Also if you wanna talk about any of these feel free to dm! I’m incredibly bored in quarantine and would love to chat

- An introduction of a greater storyline past Malivore and moving away from the monster of the week thing. I know Legacies is supposed to be something different from TVD and TO, and the monster of the week concept is an interesting way to explore the universe past what we already knew, but with the premise as it exists and has been carried out now, it’s hard to develop the characters and relationships. If the characters are fighting new things every week, that makes it hard to give characters like MG and Kaleb their own stories. With a villain to anchor the season as the Big Bad, we can get characters that haven’t been given much of their own storyline a way to get more screentime as they go try and find someone or something with answers.

- GIVE HOPE HER OWN STORYLINE PAST BEING THE HERO/MARTYR AND BEING IN LOVE WITH LANDON. Hope is supposed to be the main character but this doesn’t feel like her story. As awesome as it is seeing Hope be a badass and fight monsters, I want more development from her as a person.

- Kind of ties back into the last one, but let Hope have more Dark moments like the Death Spell incident. Moments that show that while she isn’t just another Klaus, she still shares some of his tendencies towards violence and lashing out. This could work really well if they decide to keep Landon out of the picture for a few episodes.

- Let Hope and Landon break up amicably (assuming Landon isn’t really dead which let’s be real he probably isn’t) so that, again, they can grow as people. Then, if you want, they can get back together. Or just stay broken up and be friends

-  A resolution to the Necromancer - he’s a fun character and while I think he’d be fun to have around for a bit, I don’t think he’s an anchoring villain for a season. Plus to me I kinda figured that they were gonna wrap up his storyline in the last 3 episodes that they didn’t get to film before the production shutdown so chances are we’re getting this anyway.

- Either bring back Ethan, Maya and Mac more prominently, or don’t bring them back at all. Don’t get me wrong, I like the town normies storyline when it comes up, but it doesn’t come up much. Apparently, they were supposed to be in the last 3 episodes more but who knows. With the show already feeling kinda crowded (because again, the format of the show now doesn’t really allow for a ton of characters since they aren’t significantly developing, especially when these characters are in a setting completely removed from the main action of the show’s narrative), either have the normies for more than just getting caught in a magical crossfire, or put them to the side and focus on who you have at the school.

- The TVDU has progressed past the need for Alaric. That’s all I’ll say.

- The show being a little more self aware at the ridiculousness of it all. Like yeah, it’s not completely without that, but the last thing we need is the show devolving into a Riverdale, where the first season was aware of the ridiculous nature of itself, and then it started to take itself way too seriously.

- MORE LGBTQ+ REP. The show has done fairly well thus far compared to other CW shows but there’s still so much than can be done. The show doesn’t need to have show-stopping coming out storylines or anything - it’s actually the opposite. We get the casual drop of Josie having dated Penelope in the first episode of the show which was great. So let’s have more simple stuff like that. More mentions at crushes and other past romances - for all characters - that just allow for other sexualities to be normalized and not some earth shattering thing. 

- This ties into the last one but I felt like it deserved its own bullet, but also what is V NEEDED is rep of trans, genderfluid and non-binary characters. Again, it doesn’t have to be a huge storyline, but it’d be nice to have some recurring characters who are not cis. The show is meant to be set in a near future, so I think it’d be nice to show a normalized view on differing gender expression and sexuality as sort of a hope that such a future will exist.

- Hope loving beignets, eating/wanting to eat them all the time, and getting powdered sugar all over her dark clothes from them. Chances are, if you’re from/have been to NOLA, you’ve tried beignets and loved them because they’re amazing. SO LET HOPE HAVE HER BEIGNETS DAMN IT.

- More Wolf Hope moments. Let her turn more and just run because it let’s her feel more connected to Hayley :’( also the Crescent birth mark if that was ever a thing for Hope... I can’t remember, I’ve seen different things about it, lmk (politely) if that was ever a thing that Hope had

- Hope painting and sketching. It’s one of the few connections she still has with Klaus, SO LET HER EXPRESS HERSELF DAMN IT. (Yes, any time I say SO in all caps I need to end the sentence with DAMN IT, it’s a Thing now)

- MIKAELSON FAMILY MENTIONS AND APPEARANCES. Granted this one is different because there are real life schedules and whatnot that need to align, but even just more mentions of Mikaelson family members and others like Vincent would be nice. Yeah we’ve had some in the past, but it would still be nice to get some more. Also at least a mention of Rebekah and Kol checking in on Hope (assuming the writers aren’t going to pull something dumb like ‘oh the memory spell doesn’t work long distance like that so they still don’t remember her’)

- Hope also talking more about Hayley, Elijah, and Klaus. Again, feeling connected to her mom every time she’s a wolf. Always and forever, like Elijah always said. Telling stories about her father that put him in a better light than just being “The Great Evil” of storybooks.

- Hope being open with her friends about her past and how TERRIBLE it was a lot of the time like, y’know, people trying to kill her before she was even BORN.

- I’ve said this before in a separate post (which I’ll link at some point so expect an edit to this post) but I’d love for something to happen and for Hope to leave the school and go to NOLA and stay with Freya, Keelin and Nik because she’s tired of having to be the savior and still not saving everyone. (Also in that post it says Alaric comes and gets her and brings her back to the Salvatore School but we’ve progressed past the need for him in the TVDU so instead it’ll be the twins)

- Hizzie moments because whether you like them as romantically or just as friends, they are a DUO and we deserve more iconic sarcasm as well as genuine moments of friendship and caring

- Lizzie being the absolute Queen of Comedy

- But more importantly, Lizzie being more open about her issues and taking steps to have better mental health.

- Lizzie and MG having more open conversations and letting a relationship develop naturally - yes there has been a lot of development since season 1 but I feel like they both have a bit of growth to go before they should enter a relationship, if that’s something that happens

- Lizzie being happily single for a bit and not going for a guy that’s going to try and turn her into a vamp and keep her in a prison world 

- MG and Kaleb getting proper storylines or at least more play than just being the Local Vampires who help depending on the situation. They deserve WAY more than that

- ALSO MG and Kaleb backstories. How did they die and how did they get vampire blood in their system to keep them from dying permanently?

- Josie dealing with what happened pre and post Dark Josie and facing that she has always had some darkness in her. Yeah the dark magic definitely didn’t help, but she was willing to perform a spell that she didn’t know on a human over a football game and ended up breaking his arm. Not to mention, she was setting Penelope on fire as early as the first episode. It seems like we’re getting this since Josie locked away her magic in the last episode, but still, I don’t want this to just be a one episode reflection and then move on like she didn’t cause a lot of harm.

- More Hosie crumbs

- More Jade. OK admittedly this is probably really due to the fact that Giorgia Whigham is a Big Crush for me, but also the show really did start integrating her in a bit more with the black and white episode, which makes me think they’re keeping her around at least for a little bit. And I think she and Josie dating at least for a little while would be good for both of them. Jade was a ripper for 10 years in the prison world, and Josie was just consumed by dark magic and is now coming back from that. I think they’re a good (probably short-term) pairing that will help each other grow, but eventually break up because they just aren’t it for each other. And I saw this elsewhere on here, but someone pointed out that Jade could do what Penelope tried to do, but in a healthier way. Yes, Penelope was trying to put Josie first and show her her power and importance, but there’s a way to do that without gaslighting her sister and being manipulative. Sorry, I did not mean for this one to be so long.

- More Specialty episodes. The black and white episode was really fun in my opinion, and the show doesn’t have to be like that all the time, but stuff like that keeps the show interesting, as long as it makes sense within the context of the episode and storyline.

- Josie wearing the necklace Hope gave her

- I haven’t mentioned Rafael much and that’s because, despite being a main character, he hasn’t really done much besides run away with Landon, and feel guilty about having a crush on Hope. He’s personally not a favorite character of mine, but I think if he got more of a storyline - likely revolving around the fact that he was dead and being used as a pawn, as well as the fact that he possibly (but probably didn’t) kill Landon - it’d help give more to like about him.

- Caroline having a better reason for being away from the school than just researching the Merge. Like, her daughters have been fighting monsters, Josie almost died at the end of season 1, they were trapped in a prison world, Josie succumbed to Dark Magic, THEY LITERALLY HAD A MERGE EVENT and she’s still gone??? That’s not the Caroline we know. If she’s going to be gone (because like I said before, it all depends on Candice’s availability and willingness to come back), at least come up with something different than researching something her daughters have already done by this point.

- Since Landon’s not dead, let him unlock his full Phoenix powers. It’d be cool.

- Let’s have one season where Landon doesn’t run away like we don’t all know that he’s gonna be back within like 2 episodes if that

- More Dorian. I actually really like his character, he’s kind of a breath of fresh air sometimes so I’d like more scenes with him when possible

- A conclusion to Malivore and intro of a new villain. I kinda covered this earlier, but at this point, unless Malivore is going to become a tangible entity to fight instead of some black goo, it’s not a very interesting story thread to keep around for the next however many seasons Legacies goes on for.

Whew.

Ok, that’s all I can think of, but feel free to reblog and add more if there’s other stuff you’d like to see!

[darks-ink]

Commission for @kaiofficialdp, featuring Dan and their OC Kai. Thank you Tumblr for eating the linebreak, please don’t do it again when I go to post this please

---

Kai slowed his already casual flight as his eye caught on a speck of sharply contrasting white and black. Neither of those colors were rare in the wastelands around Amity Park, but together? Together, they were most commonly found on Dan.

He steered towards the speck. And, as he had expected, found Dan. The ghost was sitting on the edge of some ruins that Kai didn’t care to identify. Dan’s posture, slumped forward and leaning his elbows on his knees, with his face down-turned, suggested that he was moping.

Or so Kai thought, at least, until he came closer. Now he could more clearly see the set of Dan’s shoulders, the tenseness in his muscles, the emotional flickering of his hair. Even with his face hidden from Kai, it was clear that Dan wasn’t just moping. No, he was genuinely distressed.

Well, he can’t let that lie, can he? If something was serious enough to distress Dan, maybe Kai could help.

Touching down on the same crumbling ruins as Dan was sitting on, Kai landed almost silently, bar the quiet patter of debris stirred by his boots. Dan didn’t respond in the least, but this was not particularly surprising, as very little in the wastelands was a threat to him.

“Dan,” Kai greeted him, crouching down next to Dan. He only got a grunt in response.

“You look…” Kai paused, digging for the right word, “…troubled. You look troubled, Dan.”

A black gloved hand flapped vaguely in his direction. “It’s nothing,” Dan hissed back, but it felt dispassionate, without heat.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Kai countered, narrowing his eyes. “Tell me what happened. Was it Valerie? Something in Amity?”

Dan snarled, his lip curling, then shook his head. Remained quiet.

Kai sighed, placed his own gloved hands on the edge of the ruins, and kicked his feet out in front of him, sitting down next to Dan. The dust would doubtlessly stain his black coat, but that was easy enough to fix later.

“What can I do to help?” he prodded, since Dan still hadn’t answered his prior question. What could possibly stop that ghost from answering?

Dan just sighed, deeply and heavily, before flapping his hand at Kai again. “Go away.”

Now that was just weirdly out of character for Dan. Kai wavered for a moment before setting his shoulders and, unable to meet Dan’s eye, settled for staring at him earnestly. “No. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” Dan said, after a long pause. “Nothing new.”

Kai clenched his jaw, but Dan still didn’t look up at him, and likely didn’t even realize. “So it’s something old?” He wasn’t sure what to do with that information. If something had just happened, he could help, could maybe fix it or something. But something in the past? That had never bothered Dan before.

Or had he just kept it hidden from Kai?

Dan sniffed, twisting his head towards Kai, finally. His red eyes were narrowed, his mouth drawn in a grimace, fangs glinting in the low light. “You’re still not leaving?”

“I wanted to help,” Kai countered, shifting slightly to sit more comfortably. “And that’s still true. If it’s something in the past I probably can’t change it, but talking about it might help.”

He got a skeptical snort in return for that. “It happened a decade ago,” Dan said, faux casually. “I highly doubt that you could change that.”

Well, fair enough. “Talk about it, then,” Kai insisted. Even if he wasn’t the best at emotional stuff, he could at least sit down and listen. That alone might help some.

“It’s stupid.” Dan grunted, as if displeased with himself. “It happened so long ago. What’s the point of all this if I’m feeling emotional about it now?”

“Sometimes it takes a little time for something to settle in,” Kai offered, but it felt silly even to himself. That usually meant hours, or perhaps days. He couldn’t imagine it taking years, but, well, he wasn’t exactly an expert, was he?

Dan snorted, clearly just as convinced as Kai himself was.

“I thought I had gotten away from it all,” Dan finally said, voice so soft it was almost a whisper. “I had pushed it all away, gone through all that just to get away from this stuff. And now…” He made a sharp, derisive noise. “Now this.”

Kai cast around for the right words to use, to comfort his partner. “You can’t heal from the past just by ignoring it,” he finally settled on, fiddling with his fingers and wondering if touching Dan would help. “Tell me, Dan. Let me help.”

“All the stuff that happened years ago finally caught up to me,” Dan said, his black-clad fingers combing through his flaming hair. “Everything that I pushed away, that I thought I’d gotten over… It’s finally hitting me.”

Dan shook his head suddenly, jerkily, then snarled, “It’s hitting me again.”

---

It was stupid, was all it was. After all he’d done to separate his weak, pathetic human side, to get rid of those hindering emotions, they just came back? Absolutely ridiculous. What was the point of becoming an all-powering full ghost if he could still be haunted by his memories, by emotions he had left behind a long time ago?

Just obscene. That’s what it really was. Horrifically stupid. He was supposed to be beyond this! He had moved past it all years ago, when he split his human side away and merged with Vlad’s ghost instead. So why did it come back now? Why was he suddenly overwhelmed by events that transpired a decade ago?

Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the fireball that took out the Nasty Burger, and his loved ones with it. Every moment of silence was filled with the phantoms of their screams, the pressing silence that followed the explosion.

Whenever he approached Amity, his eyes were inevitably drawn back to the place where it had all happened, to the charred place that, to this day, remained untouched by Amity’s survivors.

To the statues that rested in front of it. The permanent marks of his friends, his family. Set in stone, forever the same. Unchanged and unchanging.

He made a sharp noise, aware of Kai watching him. Keen vermilion eyes were set on him, impossible to dismiss. Despite his earlier attempts at getting his partner to leave him alone, Kai insisted on being here.

Well, if he wanted to hear it so badly, why not?

“A decade ago, my family and my friends died,” Dan said, his voice low and rough. He stared ahead of himself, not meeting Kai’s eyes. “My father, my mother. My elder sister. My two closest…” He scoffed, harshly, then corrected, “My only friends.”

Kai didn’t speak, so Dan continued on. “They were at the Nasty Burger, all five of them, because of me. Do you know how much extremely flammable and explosive material they keep there?” A sharp humorless cackle. “Let me tell you, they had a lot of it! And most of it not particularly ghost-proof either! So if a ghost fight ever happened there, like for example, if amazingly heroic Danny Phantom shot a few ecto-blasts while chasing a ghost…”

Dan snapped his fingers. “Whoosh, just like that. Just one spark, and then everything goes. Like a big chain of fire and explosions.”

They sat in silence for a moment, as Dan’s mind relentlessly replayed his memories of that day. Sometimes he wished he could reach into his core and just rip out those pesky thoughts, the recordings of the whole chain of events. Why would he ever need that information, anyway? It had happened. It had led to this, to the here and now. That was all he needed to know, wasn’t it? What good was it for him to remember all of it to such a degree? To get caught up in emotions over it?

No good, that was the answer. It was absolutely pointless. If anything, it was actively harmful, a distraction and a bother.

“It’s not your fault that Nasty Burger didn’t properly secure their material,” Kai pointed out, finally, breaking Dan out of his chain of thoughts. “If they possessed material that so easily caught on fire when exposed to ecto-rays, they should have guarded it better, especially in a town such as Amity Park.”

Dan scoffed, unconvinced. “Yeah, right. The other ghost didn’t fire any rays. It was only me, and only because I was so focused on chasing ‘em. If I had held off until we were away from the restaurant, from the people… Or if I had behaved better, and none of them had come to the Nasty Burger in the first place!”

He forcibly snapped his mouth shut, teeth loudly clacking. What on Earth was he doing? Spilling emotional garbage all over his partner? Ugh. Bad enough that he was feeling these dumb emotions that he should’ve been over, but now he was spewing them at Kai as well? What was next, telling Valerie? Yikes.

“There’s no point in blaming yourself,” Kai told him, posture stiff, clearly uncomfortable with the task of making Dan feel better. “Perhaps you could have prevented it, but you can’t take the entire blame for it. And you have learned from it, haven’t you? It was a mistake, but one you won’t make again.”

“Hard to repeat it when I only had the one family to get killed,” Dan scoffed, shaking his head.

“You have me,” Kai pointed out, raising a challenging eyebrow at Dan. “Or do I not count as a loved one?”

Dan hummed at that. Well, Kai wasn’t wrong, was he? Instead of acknowledging that, however, Dan changed the topic entirely. “It’s not like I can repeat what happened afterwards, anyway. Hard to split off my ghost half when I am already full ghost.”

Kai made an agreeing sound at that. “And even if you could, where would you find a second half to stabilize yourself with?”

“Hm.” Looking back, it was rather stupid of Vlad to not have considered that. Dan hadn’t even needed to overpower the older half-ghost, as the element of surprise had been enough, both to split Vlad and to merge with the separated ghost half. “Once was enough.”

“Are you feeling better, then?” Kai leaned forward to catch Dan’s eye, but he looked away. “Now that you’ve talked?”

Dan harrumphed, unwilling to admit that it had helped at least a little. He still felt terrible, still felt haunted by the past, but… talking about it had eased the strain some. “I could’ve managed,” he retorted instead.

Kai caught his eye, staring at him intently, like he was trying to find the words to tell Dan in Dan’s own eyes. Clearly Kai didn’t know what he was doing either, struggling to find the right things to say, to find a way to comfort Dan. “You’re allowed to miss them, you know?” Kai settled on. “Even if you’ve been around so long without them, there’s nothing wrong with missing them. Acknowledging it, being willing to process the pain instead of shoving it away, that might help.”

“Oh, how would you know?” Dan dismissed with a flap of his hand. “I’ve been fine so far, and I’ll be fine for longer.”

“Will you?” Kai countered, leaning back slightly. “What do you want me to tell you instead, then? That at least your parents and friends aren’t suffering? That they would be proud of how strong you’ve become?” Kai scoffed. “That you’re better off without them holding you back?”

Dan huffed, squinting at his partner. “You’re not the type to tell me things you don’t sincerely believe.”

“Fine.” Kai shifted suddenly, standing up next to Dan. With a few short movements he dusted off his black jacket, then with a jerk, offered his gloved hand to Dan. “Come on. Moping around here clearly isn’t going to fix it.”

“And what do you plan to do instead?” Dan asked, raising an eyebrow but already extending his own hand to grasp Kai’s.

“I’m sure we could find something to do that would make you feel better,” Kai said, pulling Dan up. “Shall we?”

Dan looked at the navy fingers tangled with his own. “Yes,” he agreed. “Let’s.”

[smcc212]

In Debt Again- part 2

Pairings- Little bit of Tommy x Lizzie, reader x Tommy(platonic!), and reader x Lizzie(platonic!)

Word count- 2,547

Warnings- Tiny mentions of abuse(if you squint), and a little swearing.

A/N- Soooo, this is quite long. I’ll try to make future chapters shorter, no promises though. Also, I tried to proofread this, but I’m dyslexic so I’ve probably not done a great job at it, hahah. Anyway, Enjoy!!

“Umm, would... would you mind coming in with me?” You stammered.

“Why?” Tommy responded, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

“Well... I-I didn’t lie to you w-when I said that I-I didn’t know where my dad was... B-but, I’m scared he could’ve come home now, a-and I don’t want him to hurt me,” You mumbled the last part, but Tommy heard. You couldn’t tell, but a wave of sadness and empathy hit him like a punch in the gut, so he nodded.

You climbed out of the car, Tommy by your side. You pretended to unlock the door; a habit you’d picked up after so long of living there. You opened the door and walked inside, stopping after four steps to listen for you dad; you didn’t hear him so you motioned for Tommy to follow upstairs.

You crept into your bedroom, and slowly started to pack the few things you owned: two dresses, four shirts, a blazer, two pairs of trousers, suspenders and your black, steel-toe-cap boots. The only pair of heels you owned were on your feet.

After packing everything away, you crept back downstairs, this time, Tommy was in front of you. Your heart was in your throat, the fear that your father may appear when you were in the house was ever present.

Until, eventually, you made it back to Tommy’s car. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the car started to move.

Most of the journey was silent, until Tommy spoke up,

“You don’t own a lot of stuff, but you own more shirts than dresses, why?” He didn’t sound shocked or appalled, he sounded genuinely curious.

“I prefer to wear a suit, they’re more comfortable than dresses,” You mumbled, but again, he heard you. Tommy just nodded and you fell into a slightly more comfortable silence than before, although it was still rather awkward.

When the car pulled into Tommy’s drive, your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You knew Tommy was wealthy, but his house was immaculate. The car stopped and you and Tommy got out. You grabbed your small bag and walked towards the gorgeous house. Insecurity ate you alive more with each step you took.

Tommy opened the door and you walked inside, he followed after you, closing the door behind you.

“Wait here,” Tommy ordered. You nodded and he disappeared. Just as you were beginning to take in the grand design of the place, Tommy reappeared, this time with a stunning woman and two children trotting behind them.

Tommy beckoned you towards him, you walked up to him.

“(Y/N), this is my wife Lizzie, my son Charles, or Charlie as he prefers, and my daughter Ruby.” He gestured to each of them as he spoke.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” You said, shakily.

“All of you, this is, (Y/N)-“ He continued, “-she’ll be staying with us for awhile.”

“Okay!” Charlie and Ruby chirped together. “Can we go play now?” Charlie asked.

“Alright, but take one of the maids with you,” Lizzie responded. The children squealed before running off to fine a maid. Lizzie looked you up and down, her eyes staying fixing on your injury’s for a moment, before she turned to Tommy. “And why is she here?”

“Her father owes us a fair amount of money. She came to try and help out with it, but... her father did that to her, Lizzie. I couldn’t let her help him and I certainly couldn’t let her stay at his house anymore, okay?” Tommy responded.

“Alright, I’ll get a maid to make up a room for her, but we’ll talk more about this later.” Lizzie sauntered off. Tommy huffed,

“Don’t worry about her. You need help and I’m gonna give you it.” Although you knew what he meant and part of you wanted to thank him, again. The other part of you was livid.

“I don’t need your help! Yeah, I wanna get away from my dad but I don’t need you to do that!” You shouted at him. Tommy was almost going to tell you to get the fuck out and that you should’ve been grateful. But, he looked in your eyes and saw the pain behind them so, instead, he just sighed heavily.

“I’ll show you around a little.”

“Okay.”

After Tommy showed you around, he walked up to a woman in a maids outfit and asked what room you’d be staying in. She told him and you lead you there.

Although you didn’t let it show, you were still in awe of his house. It didn’t feel real that you’d be staying here; part of you thought it was a dream.

“Here’s where you’ll be sleeping. Also, if you want to, you can change into a suit. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’ll do that. Thank you,” You replied.

“It no problem, and you don’t need to keep saying ‘thank you’, I understand you’re grateful.”

“Oh, okay.” And with that, he walked out your room. You changed into your suit and put your boots on, letting out a sigh of relief; this was much better. Then you just stood there. You didn’t know what to do. Where you allowed to roam around his house, or did he want you to stay in your room. You’d have killed for a book to read to pass the time.

As you stood there, wondering what you were supposed to do, there was a knock at your door.

“Are you decent?” A woman’s voice traveled through the door, it sounded like the woman Tommy told you was his wife.

“Uh... yeah, yeah, I am,” you stuttered. She let herself in.

“Umm... Hi, Mrs, Shelby,” You mumbled, awkwardly.

“Hi, (Y/N), I just wanted to talk to you about living here.”

“Alright,” You replied.

She sat down on the bed and you sat down next to her.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but, I don’t want you to be alone with the children. Again, don’t take this the wrong,but I don’t know you. I don’t know if I can trust you,” She spoke, her voice was soft. You tell she wasn’t trying to intimidate you, she was just being a good mother. You wished you had one of those.

“I understand, if I was in your position I wouldn’t want me around your kids either.” The two of you shared a nod of understanding before you continue, “But, for the record, I would never do anything to harm your children... I’ve been harmed enough,” You muttered the last part, hoping she wouldn’t hear you. But she did.

“Do you not have a mother to look after you?” It was clear her maternal instincts kidded in.

“No, I don’t. My father fucked some prostitute and she left me with him. He always shit-talks her because she sold her body, something I never understood.”

“How did you not understand?” Lizzie asked, remembering her old life and how people used to-and still do- talk about her.

“I mean, I don’t understand why people care so much. It’s not their body, if someone wants to fuck other people for money-or if they have to- why does that make them a bad person. It’s their body, they can use it however they want.” Realising you’d been rambling, you turn to face Lizzie. “Sorry, my opinions on prostitution aren’t important to you.”

“No, I like that you’re vocal about it. And, I agree, what a woman does with her own body is her choice.” She smiled kindly at you.

“And what a man does with his body is his choice,” You added, mentally cursing yourself bringing up your opinions on male prostitution. No one cares about that. You thought.

“Exactly.” You smiled at Lizzie.bit was nice to have someone share your views.

“Erm, is that all you came here to say?”

“Yes.” She started to walk out before you spoke up,

“Am I to stay in here, or can I go to the library and grab a book?” You asked. You chuckled lightly, gesturing with her hand for you to follow her, so you did.

She lead you to the library that Tommy had shown you early.

“Pick anything you’d like.” You walked around, picking up random books and reading synopsis’ then putting them back down, none of them peaked your interest. Lizzie noticed and asked, “What type of books do you like?”

“Crime novels... I promise this isn’t the reason I’m here-“ you giggled slightly, “-but mostly gangster related ones.” She smiled, walking over past you and grabbing a book she thought you’d like, sand passing it to you.

“It’s not really about gangsters, but it’s about crime, and there’s a little about gangsters in there,” She said, passing you the thick, leather clad book.

“Thank you.” You smiled at her before walking back to your room.

You were about half way through your book, and you had to give it to Lizzie, it was a good book, when Tommy knocked at your door. You muttered a quiet ‘come in’, but he heard and opened the door.

“Dinner’s ready, come on.” He waited as you Mark your page, got up and walked up to him. You followed him to the dining room. You’d never seen so much food before.

“Help yourself,” Lizzie said, kindly. After your encounter early on, she’d started to take a liking to you. Since it was Sunday, the meal was a Sunday dinner. You’d never had one, but your father would have one every Sunday. You took a slice of chicken then a one spoonful of carrots and one spoonful of mashed potatoes then you started to eat.

“That’s all you’re gonna have?” Tommy asked in disbelief.

“It’s enough to keep me going until dinner tomorrow,” You replied. Were you supposed to take more?

“Whenever you’d have Sunday dinner, that’s all you’d take?” Tommy questioned.

“Well...umm... I’ve never had Sunday dinner,” you mumbled, slightly embarrassed. “But sometimes my father would let me have a slice or two of chicken on my sandwich!” You enthused, a smile grew across your face as you thought of the few times that had happened.

“Seriously?” Tommy had a look of pity in his eyes. You turned to look at Lizzie, she, also, had a look of pity in her eyes, but also sadness.

“Yeah...” You muttered. “Why?”

“It’s just... never mind. Why don’t you take some more?” Tommy suggested.

“Yeah-“ Lizzie added, “-we had the cooks make more mash and carrots for you. That’s not even a full meal you’ve got there.”

“Oh... alright.” You took another slice of chicken and half a spoon of potatoes before continuing with your dinner.

After everyone had finished eating, Lizzie told a woman in a maids outfit-not the same woman Tommy had talked to before-to take Ruby and Charlie to bed. Then it was just the three of you.

After a few minutes you broke the silence, “do you want me to go back to the guest room?” You assumed neither one of them wanted you there. No one ever wanted you around.

“You tired? Or do you just wanna continue reading your book?” Tommy questioned.

“Neither, really, I just thought you’d want me to leave.”

“What do you normally do before bed?”

“Well... I-I don’t really... I just, erm, I just go to my room. You know, so my father doesn’t get angry.” You shrugged, you went to stand up when Lizzie put her arm on yours, causing you to stop.

“Tom here sometimes goes out to check on the horses, you could go with him?” She suggested.

“I’d hate to be an annoyance.” You smiled at her, her arm slipped from yours as she offered you a kind smile back.

“I don’t really mind,” Tommy mumbled.

“If there’s one thing I know, it’s that when a man says ‘I don’t really mind’ he does mind.”

“Alright, let me try again. I don’t mind, (Y/N), would you like to come check on the horses with me?”

“You sure?” You didn’t think he’d hurt you, but you were still scared of annoying him; subconsciously you were scared he might hurt you if you did.

“I’m positive.” The corners slightly raised and, from Thomas Shelby, that was enough to make you feel like he was okay with it.

“Okay then.” You smiled back. Lizzie stood up and placed a reassuring hand on your back before looking between you and Tommy.

“I’ll be in bed, don’t know if I’ll be asleep though,” She drawled as she walked out of the room and headed to their shared bedroom.

You stared at the beautiful creatures, you always loved horses. Your father, however, hated them. He always complained about how ugly he thought they were and that they got scared by the tiniest thing. But you loved them. Part of you related to them. Being scared of a rather large sound or a movement, you understood that. Also, you could never understand how your father thought they were ugly. They were to most gorgeous animal in the world to you; they run around all day, and when they felt tired, they could relax. You envied them so much.

“Majestic, aren’t they?” Tommy said.

“Yeah. I’ve always wanted to learn to ride one, but my father hated them.”

“Your dad-“ you cut him off.

“Don’t call him my dad! He’s not my dad! Dads care for their children, love them... he’s not like that!” You took a deep breath. “Sorry... I just don’t like him being called my dad.”

“Noted.” Tommy replied, he looked at you and you could see a slight smile on his face. Half of you was angry that he was smiling at your outburst, but, the other half of you loved that he smiled at your outburst because that side of you understood why he smiled; that side of you knew Tommy could tell you wanted nothing more than for your father to love you, and Tommy definitely knew that feeling.

You and Tommy were with the horses for half an hour before you walked back inside. No words exchanged after your outburst. You know Tommy wasn’t mad though, because he wouldn’t be able to hide his anger if he was. After what you’d gone through you could tell when people were angry, not matter how hard they tried to hide it.

When you got back inside and started to head to your room, you over heard Tommy and Lizzie talking about you. You stood outside the room, listening to them. You knew you shouldn’t, but they were talking about you. You needed to know what they were saying about you.

“How long do you think she’ll be here?” Lizzie asked.

“I don’t know, she’ll be here until I figure out what do with her. That alright with you?”

“Yeah, she’s sweet. I can’t believe her own father would do that to her.” Anger and disgust laced Lizzie words.

“I know. Evil fucking bastard,” Tommy seethed. “Oh, by the way, don’t him her dad, she doesn’t like it.”

“Okay. Understandable, I guess.”

Things were looking up for you. Finally, you felt as though you’d never have to see your father again.

Oh, how wrong you were...

[thecassadilla]

Bloom

Pairing: Kristanna

Word Count: 2,488/AO3

Summary: Though their initial meeting was the result of an unfortunate situation, Anna and Kristoff begin to grow something wonderful, together. 

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! This is my contribution for Kristanna Week Day 1 - Red! I had a billion ideas for this color because of all of the emotion attached to it but I couldn’t execute any of them well enough. As is typical for me, I finished this very last minute (aka at 3am). Also, I know nothing about flowers lol. Enjoy!!!

The first time that they met had been a pure coincidence. Kristoff had picked up a late shift at his parents’ flower shop on Valentine’s Day, when he knew the only customers would be the desperate, last-minute “I need to bring some type of flower home or my significant other will k*ll me” people. He always took the shift as a courtesy to his adoptive parents, so they could enjoy a night off and go to dinner or a movie and celebrate the holiday.

He was neither here nor there about Valentine’s Day. He didn’t think it was a meaningless holiday like many of his single friends did, but he wasn’t necessarily fond of it, either - mainly because of the association to the flower shop and all of the craziness that ensued in the weeks leading up to it. He was expected the night to go exactly as they had in Valentines Day pasts; a few late night stragglers but otherwise quiet.

What was particularly unexpected that night was when the little bell on the door of the shop jingled and a young couple walked in near closing time. 

The man couldn’t even be bothered to pull the phone away from his ear before telling the woman, “Here’s my credit card, pick something fast so we could get the hell out of here.”

He watched in silence as the woman, on the verge of tears, slowly perused the shop while her boyfriend-slash-husband or whoever he was waited by the door and continued his phone conversation. 

“Can I help you?” Kristoff asked when she came close enough to the cash register. She was quite beautiful; bright blue eyes, a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks, which happened to be rosy from the cold weather, and long, auburn hair that stood out against her plum-colored pea coat and grey knit hat. He also couldn’t help but notice the large, sparkly diamond ring on her left hand. Married.

She shakily sighed, the tears pooling in her eyes threatening to spill over at any second. “I know it’s late, but do you have any roses left?”

He nodded. “We do.”

“Those are traditional for Valentine’s Day, right?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered.

“Can I have a dozen roses, please?”

“Sure. How do you want them?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want them with babies’ breath? Wrapped in paper or in a vase? Or -”

She shook her head. “You know what...never mind. Thank you for your help.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice cracking. “Valentine’s Day is almost over, anyway.”

He glanced up at the clock on the wall; it was quarter to eleven, which meant that there was just over an hour left of the holiday. His heart was breaking for her. 

“Anna!” her husband sternly called. “Let’s go!”

She turned toward the entrance of the shop. “Thank you again.”

“Wait,” he said, plucking a red rose from the pile behind the register and holding it out to her. “I feel really bad.”

“You shouldn’t be the one to feel bad.”

“Please take it.”

The tiniest inkling of a smile appeared on her quivering lips as she accepted the flower. “Thank you.”

He nodded sympathetically, and watched as she walked back over to her husband.

“Excellent, you didn’t spend much,” the man said smugly, snatching the credit card from her hands. He was still on the phone, which was now sandwiched between his shoulder and his ear. “Are you satisfied enough to go home now?”

She looked back in his direction one last time as her husband grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out of the shop, jostling the bell once again. Kristoff was so enraged that he was practically seeing red; he’d seen plenty people come in over the years and buy flowers last minute, but that had to be the worst instance he’d ever seen. He couldn’t fathom how a grown man could treat his wife so...poorly. If that was what happened in public, he couldn’t imagine what happened in private. With his jaw clenched, he made it through the remainder of his shift, counted the cash register, and booked it out of there as quickly as he could, stewing in his own anger for the rest of the night and much of the following day.

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The second time they met was intentional, though not on his behalf; nearly two weeks had passed, and Kristoff had managed to put the entire incident behind him - or so he thought. He’d finished his shift and was packing up to leave on a Saturday afternoon when one of his coworkers came to the break room and grabbed his attention.

“Kristoff, there’s a young woman looking for you.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“A young woman asked if she could speak to the tall, blond guy and you’re the only person that fits that description.”

He sighed, mentally preparing himself to get an earful from a woman whose husband bought flowers for his mistress or something equally as ridiculous. It happened quite frequently and he was always the one to take the heat as opposed to the person who’d actually caused the problem. 

Instead, he was quite shocked when he walked out onto the sales floor and found the woman from Valentine’s Day, in the same plum-colored pea coat and grey hat. Her left hand was gripping onto the strap of her purse by her shoulder, and he couldn’t help but notice that her ring finger was sans ring.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Hi,” she said in a small voice. “I’m not sure if you remember me, but I came in right before you closed on Valentine’s Day...with my ex-fiancé.”

“I remember,” he confirmed. His initial suspicions had been wrong; the man wasn’t her husband, after all. 

“I just had to come in and thank you again,” she explained. “It was such a kind gesture, and I really needed it that night. You really have no idea how much it meant to me.”

Not wanting to bring up the rottenness of the situation and rub it in like salt in a wound, he simply nodded. “No problem.”

“I can’t even imagine what that must’ve looked like to you...how bad it looked.”

He shrugged. “I’ve seen some crazy stuff.” 

“I can only imagine,” she stated. “If you’re free, I’d really love to buy you a coffee or something from the café next door to say thank you.”

He waved his hands dismissively, slightly flustered at the offer. “You don’t have to do that, it really wasn’t a big deal.”

“It was to me,” she said meekly. “I want to express my gratitude.”

He faltered for a moment; if it would make her feel better, then there was really no harm in agreeing to go along. “Okay.”

The tension in her face melted away. “Great.”

“Let me just grab my jacket.”

He grabbed his belongings, waved goodbye to his coworkers and then met her back on the sales floor. Without another word, they left the shop.

“I don’t believe I caught your name,” she mentioned once they had made it outside.

“Kristoff.”

“I’m Anna,” she said, smiling as he held open the door to the café for her. They managed to snag a table by the window, and once they sat down, she asked, “How do you take your coffee?”

“Black,” he answered. “And the smallest size they have, otherwise I’ll be awake all night.”

“Got it,” she nodded, walking over to the cashier. 

He rested his arms on the table, waiting for her to come back but slightly eager to leave and go about the rest of his day. She returned a few minutes later, setting the two cups on the table and sitting across from him.

“So, you must know quite a bit about flowers being that you work for a florist.”

“I do,” he confirmed. “My folks own the shop. I’m helping them out while I’m working on my degree. I’ll probably still help them out once I graduate, though.”

“That’s so nice,” she smiled. “Do you have a favorite flower?”

He shook his head. “I don’t. I associate different flowers with different occasions, so that may be why.”

“My absolute favorites are sunflowers. But I love roses, too. And gardenias, and lilies. I guess I like everything,” she laughed, jovial for a moment before her expression turned somber. “You know, I wouldn’t be sitting here if you hadn’t handed me that rose, so if it’s okay with you, I want to explain what you saw that night and the aftermath.”

“Go for it,” he encouraged. Admittedly, he was quite curious, even though he knew that it wasn’t really his business. 

“Obviously, it was Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t expecting flowers or chocolate or anything really, but my ex and I would always exchange gifts on holidays. We had just got engaged in December and I knew he spent a lot on the ring so I didn’t have any expectations for this year, but I still got him a gift,” she explained. 

He nodded along as she spoke, not wanting to interrupt.

“He got home late and spent the rest of the night on the phone, ignoring me - which isn’t unusual for him, but I was hoping that we’d spend some time together because it was a special day. I asked him if he wanted to go out to dinner, but he’d already eaten with someone...I’m assuming it was another woman. Anyway, he got off the phone long enough to tell me that if I really wanted chocolate, then I could wait until the day after when it would all be marked down, and that we could go to the flower shop near closing because the flowers would probably be really cheap - I don’t think that’s true, though.”

“It isn’t,” he verified. 

“By the time we got to your shop, I was pretty upset because of the way he had been treating me all day, but it only got worse once we were inside. I was barely able to keep it together, and it wasn’t until you - a complete stranger - showed me the tiniest bit of compassion that I realized how bad my situation was and how badly I needed to get out of it.”

She took a deep breath before continuing. “I broke up with him. By the time we got back to the car I was crying, and he got mad that I was disrupting his call and we had a huge fight. It ended with me throwing the ring in his face and moving out.”

He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing. “I’m glad you were able to get out of that.”

“Me too,” she nodded. “I think I knew it had to end for a long time - even when I said ‘yes’ to getting engaged. But what really solidified it was when you handed me that flower - it reminded me that people who care about others still exist.”

“Anyone who works there would’ve done the same,” he chuckled, trying to divert the credit away from himself. 

“I’ve spoken to a few friends and I recommended your family’s flower shop to them. They should spend their money at a business that actually cares about its customers.”

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

She nodded, a smile gracing her lips. “It’s the least I could do.”

They talked a little while longer before bidding each other goodbye and going their separate ways. In all honesty, Kristoff was happy for her; she’d escaped a bad relationship and she seemed to be in a much better place despite the fact that little time had passed. Even though he imagined he’d never see her again, he could rest easy knowing that she wouldn’t be trapped in a loveless marriage.

It didn’t quite play out the way he imagined, though. Frequently, she’d pop into the shop and distract him, following him around as he added water to the vases or fixed the arrangements, only laying low when another customer would come in. He didn’t mind the distraction at all; it made time go faster and she was fun to talk to. 

It wasn’t until a hot, summer afternoon in June that he decided to do something about their relationship. Anna came into the shop clad in a red sundress, accessorized with a floppy, wide-brim hat and oversized sunglasses right before his shift was due to end. 

“Hi, Kristoff,” she smiled, pulling the sunglasses off of her nose and hooking them onto the front of her dress. “Did you get in any sunflowers yet?”

“We did,” he confirmed. “We got a batch that bloomed early this year.”

She clapped her hands together. “That’s so exciting! May I purchase a bouquet of them?”

“Sure,” he said, walking over to where they were being kept, fully aware that she was following him. While she often came in to visit, she seldom purchased any flowers. She usually just came in to keep him company and relentlessly flirt. “Any special occasion?”

“It’s my birthday,” she answered, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks. 

“Oh!” he exclaimed, slightly embarrassed that he didn’t know - to his recollection, they’d never discussed birthdays. “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you,” she beamed. “I figured I may as well treat myself to my favorite flowers on my birthday, you know?”

“Of course,” he agreed, though in his head he’d already decided that she wasn’t going to pay for the flowers. It was her birthday, after all - they should be gifted to her. “Do you have any special plans?”

“I’m probably going to go out with some friends over the weekend, but not today.”

“I’d love to take you out to dinner,” he said, before quickly adding, “If you’re up for it.”

She nodded, biting down on her lip. “That would be really nice.”

They walked back to the counter, and he arranged the flowers in white and tan tissue paper, securing them with a red bow that matched her dress. 

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, opening her purse and digging for her wallet.

“Don’t be silly. They’re on me.”

“You’re such a sweetheart, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s your birthday,” he reminded her. “I want you to have them.”

He handed them to her and she cradled them in her arms. “Thank you, Kristoff.”

“I’m going to go clock out and then we can go?”

She nodded excitedly and when he returned, he took her by the arm and led her out of the shop, the bell jingling as the door opened and they stepped out into the sunshine.

What had started as something so rotten had bloomed into something beautiful. And for every occasion from that point forward, there were flowers to match; roses on Valentine’s Day, poinsettias at Christmastime, and of course, sunflowers for Anna’s birthday.