#but also weird to consider it exists in the same internet as my shitty fanfic from when i was 14

[samwise-though]

Growing up as a geek and needing academic validation to prove my own self-worth means I now write academic work on anime, comics, and video games and that somehow just makes sense.

[lurkdragonstuff]

I'm an atheist and a philosophical materialist. I don't think there's anything more to the universe than what can be observed and measured. Disagree if you want, that's fine, but take as read that this is where I'm coming from.

As you can imagine, this makes it very strange to me that my brain thinks I'm a dragon.

I have been trying to square this circle for years. Since around the 2000's, when I first made contact with the Internet, I would look in on the otherkin community, and the draconic community nested inside it, and I would think, man. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe that souls were real, and that I had one, and that it was a dragon, and that's why I was so odd. For quite a while, I just explained it as a furry fandom thing. Sure, yes, my fursona is feral, but ferals are furries, too. This is still true! I'm still in furry fandom, and my dragonself still acts as my fursona. But they are also, in a deeper sense, me.

I'm a secular pagan. I don't think gods exist, and I don't think magic is literally real. I can't really cast a curse on shitty charities. The moon's a big shiny rock. It doesn't care if I roar at it when the sun reflects off it just so and I can see the whole of its tidally locked face.

But my dragon brain doesn't know that. It likes the big shiny rock. It likes little shiny rocks, too. It likes to light things on fire, and considers this a sacred act, both bringing destruction to noxious things and bringing honour to things worthy of it. It likes to growl and hiss when things annoy it. It likes to collect things, to have a hoard. It likes to range around its territory, keeping an eye on what's around in what season. It finds it frustrating that its wings don't seem to work at all, and its other limbs barely better. It wants its tail back. It wants its fire breath.

I'm autistic. Sometimes speaking is hard, and I growl and hiss when things annoy me. I like to collect things related to my special interests; I have a sprawling collection of cetacean, Nintendo, and SEGA figurines, as well as lots of little animal figures. Plushies, too, and videogames, and books. I do wildlife photography, as well, marking who's around in what seasons. This is, to my frustration, limited a lot by waning energy because of chronic health problems.

If backed into a corner, to say what I really believe, of course I'm a human. It is in my DNA, expressed in a bipedal body plan, five fingers on the forelimbs only, nails and not claws, no wings, no muzzle, no tail, short neck, skin and fur instead of scales. Not even any horns. I find this frustrating, but it is what it is. I also find it frustrating when people call me 'she' and not 'they', and that really there is no feasible gender presentation that would guarantee that strangers would use the right word. The best I can hope for is that people will read the 'they/them' button on my hat, or otherwise call me 'he'. Still wrong, but at least novel.

I honestly think my draconic identity developed when I was younger as a way to explain why I was so weird. I have never been normal. I will never be normal. As an adult, I have fancy words like "autism" and "anxiety and depression secondary to post-traumatic stress disorder" and "seasonal affective disorder" to explain why I'm abnormal.

But a part of my brain, I think the same one that still believes in magic and deities even though I don't, tilts its head, then grins a sharp grin and says, "Cool story, bro. I'm still a dragon."

I generally have, for any given of my eccentricities, the philosophical materialist explanation (generally that I am either brainweird in some way or another or am playing pretend for placebo purposes to manage executive function etc.) and the dragon explanation (generally what the pretend play revolves around). But - and this is hard to explain - it isn't exactly playing pretend, either. It's me.

When I'm pretending to be Link, either playing a Zelda game or writing Zelda fanfic, Link isn't me. I might be inhabiting him as an actor, but he isn't me. When I play Animal Crossing, and I'm playing a character named after me, that's closer. It's me but greater. Me but more. Me existing in a life I wish I could have.

When I put on my mask, when I sit and daydream about the multiverse-hopping shenanigans I get up to, when I hiss at someone startling me by getting into my space, that's me. I'm not a dragon, I'm a human wearing a mask, daydreaming, hissing because "back the fuck off!" isn't allowed in the workplace.

Yeah. Cool story, bro.

I am still a dragon.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[wak-after-dark]

Still not able to come up with an argument about the Epilogue treating Gamzee (the murderous corpse molester) better than Jade (sat around for 3 years with depression only to have a dog dick and then be abandoned by her friends) huh? Guess you're just an idiot and willingly sucking Hussie's dick for a job at Whatpumpkin down the line. Maybe write some incest porn like IPDG and you'll get hired.

Wow get a load of this guy.

Okay I should probably just delete your comments and not give you the time of day, but you’ve been periodically sending me this kind of ask, and I really have to ask, do you really, really believe you’re someone with some sort of Moral High Ground right now? Like I’m not even defending the Epilogues as masterpieces or trying to shove them down people’s throats. I am literally just enjoying the content the WP Team put out and talking about it, and you come to my Inbox, to spew this accusatory nonsense and flinging insults. If you can’t read the Epilogues in a positive manner, and think they’re dogshit, sure, go ahead, but you’re like, trying to act like I’m some sort of brainwashed sheep and you’re trying to make me see the light. Also “Still not able to come up with an argument“ very passive-aggressive there, I have talked about the Epilogues, my opinions and takes on them, and how I feel about the way they deal with characters at LARGE here, if you haven’t bothered to look for the info, and the several responses to some of your asks, then don’t blame me for it. But sure. Let me talk about every single point you JUST mentioned here like some sort of big Masterpost, and when you don’t agree with my point either way, stop fucking harassing me on Anon, seriously you alone have been making me consider turning anon off entirely, which all things considered may just be the healthiest option I could consider, but here I am!

Still not able to come up with an argument about the Epilogue treating Gamzee (the murderous corpse molester) better than Jade (sat around for 3 years with depression only to have a dog dick and then be abandoned by her friends) huh?

Okay let’s begin with Homestuck proper. Gamzee is a Villain. He’s framed as such, people have constantly shown backlash against his character because he’s got fans that would like to see him redeemed, since a good chunk of his story happens with him brainwashed or mind-altered in some sort, but every time he’s shown to go back to doing awful things and killing people. He abuses Terezi, kills Karkat, and gets killed by Kanaya in return in one Timeline, and in another he gets locked up in a fridge, ends up in Caliborn’s planet, and trying to serve his Lord just gets beaten up, shot, left half-dead, until his final appearance in which he gets cut in half and absorbed into Lord English. Then, the Epilogues happen, and he becomes the butt of a joke about undeserved redemption arcs. His very existence in Candy is a joke that he’s not worth redeeming, actually, but tries to force himself to ‘seem’ like he has, despite ruining Dirk’s funeral, making Jake and Tavros’ lives miserable, supporting a Fascist ruler, taking advantage of a potential minor, and it all ends up with him being choked, killed, and his corpse being used as a Weekend at Bernie’s joke. Like... Is that really what you consider ‘good treatment of a character’? He gets away with a lot of bullshit, but he’s like. Constantly, and consistently, shown to be unpleasant, gross and awful. Like. He’s an awful person, and a comic relief, that does fucked up shit for most of his appearance, and I am not sure how any of this can be read in any sort of positive light. I’ve seen Gamzee fans MAD at how much he gets shat on.

Meanwhile, let’s take Jade. A huge theme of her character, sadly, is loneliness and isolation. I dislike that, like many Jade fans. She’s forced into depressingly helpless situations where she lacks agency or control over her own body, or the situation she’s in, and it’s shown affecting her greatly. I want my girl to be happy as well. So when the Epilogues came, and had her getting Callie-possessed, that was bad, it was like, AGAIN she gets the shaft. I want her to be happy and do what she wants to do and be badass with her powers! But- Oh wait, none of that is what you’re complaining about!!! You keep insisting on the Dog Dick instead of any of the genuinely heartbreaking things that happen to her. Jade has a dog dick. It is mentioned once in the entire Epilogues. It mildly affects her desire to have a child with Dave, but she doesn’t even shown herself that broken up about it, and had been looking about potential alternatives, even having Rose as a surrogate. There’s not a single joke made in the Epilogues about her HAVING a dog dick, nor any sort of isolation that happens as a product of her genitalia. Is it a weird choice to canonize that headcanon? Yeah! It kind of is! But this is also a reality where Obama and Dirk make out. And if someone is uncomfortable about Jade having a dog dick, or doesn’t like her being more openly sexual, then that’s fine!!! If they have a transphobic read on Jade, that’s fine!!! You can dislike it, and Homestuck, and the Epilogues, and the writers! But I, as a trans woman myself, and one who’s horny on main a lot of the time, liked the freedom Jade expressed to just do whatever she wanted with new partners on Earth C, and her seeming acceptance and lack of conflict at just, having junk. She does fuck up with Dave and Karkat, because she pushes them a bit too hard, specially Karkat, trying to use the Quadrant System to insert herself in a Black relationship. In Candy, this culminates with political tensions breaking Karkat away from the triad, which is bad for everyone involved. But in Meat, Jade states that they can tell her to just stop and she will, because she genuinely likes both Karkat and Dave, but their feelings are too deeply bottled and complex to just come to light. Does this put some tension in her relationship with them? Yeah! Does this ISOLATE her from her friends? No! Karkat and Dave DO still wanna hang out with her even if she’s a bit too much. John and Jade apparently chat online a bunch, and Jake seemed to have a good relationship with Jade before the whole Jane thing. She is close enough with Rose and Kanaya that Rose considered the surrogate mother thing. She has friends and ties! The major things that happen to isolate her is, Karkat leaving- Caused by Jane’s rise to power- Dave dying- Caused by Ultimate Self Timeline Shenanigans- And being possessed by Callie- All things outside of her control. I want her to get her agency back, but beyond that, her, as a person on Earth C, was not abandoned by her friends, and your obsession over her dog dick as a root of her issues and the bad stuff that happens to her says more about you than about the Epilogues in my opinion.

Guess you're just an idiot and willingly sucking Hussie's dick for a job at Whatpumpkin down the line. Maybe write some incest porn like IPDG and you'll get hired.

You know what? Yeah I would love to have a role at WhatPumpkin. Because I’ve seen the people working at it do other things, and I’ve seen their passion for Homestuck. The people currently doing Homestuck love Homestuck, and this is not up for fucking debate. As for the incest porn thing? Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, and a thousand fucking times fuck you. Once again, trying to get some stupid moral high ground mentioning incest. “Oh look at me, I am criticizing someone for something they wrote years ago”, is how you actually sound, and that’s only on the surface. V from Homestuck was never confirmed to be ipgd. V got harassed, and ‘doxxed’ by dubious sources and, I believe, Kiwifarms shit was going on at that time, so that was extremely shady and shitty. And the result of them being equated ended with ipgd being told to kill themself because of old fic they’d written, which, GUESS WHAT, was actually a critic to the way Incest was extremely popular in Fanfic back then, written by ipgd themself, a god damn survivor of that same bullshit they wrote about!!! Congratulations! THAT is the kind of bullshit people like you pull. You just cling to some idea of what’s right and wrong, and end up hurting real people that’ve gone through real shit, instead of considering nuance to your actions and thinking that, HMM, PERHAPS I SHOULD NOT HARASS SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET BECAUSE THEY DID SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE OR HAVE AN OPINION I DON’T AGREE WITH! But nah, let’s go send death threats to people we don’t like, riiiiiiight????

My fandom wish for homestuck 2 is the characters are treated with respect but since every single one of the new authors hate women and only want dirk and jake as well as Dave and Karkat to fuck on screen while Vriska gets comphet child raped by gamzee why bother lol.

Like, I don’t even know what to say. Have you seen like... The rest of the work the WP Team is doing with Homestuck stuff? Addressing actual issues? Doing right by the characters? Acknowledging their fucked up stuff while also showing them in positive lights? A good chunk of the Team, too, is queer? Like if they were all cis straight dudes I could see your complaint but they just. Aren’t??? At all???? Even Taz, who’s probably the biggest Dirk-Jake fan around, absolutely wants the best for other characters, yes, Jade and Rose included, you are just too jaded and blinded by your perception of the Epilogues. Vriska and Gamzee... Yeah that’s iffy. I am not going to defend that, whether it was a mistake with the ages or it was just Gamzee being more awful, that was extremely nasty. There’s also like, suicide and abuse and dictatorship in the Epilogues though. All of this shit that happens is awful, but also it’s not PROMOTING it or saying it’s a good thing? It’s... Fucked up. Comphet though, I dooooooooo want to elaborate on that, because, while I do like the reading of Vriska as being more into women, she does show a near-consistent fascination for Nic Cage and, then, ARquius as someone with a similar aesthetic? Like don’t get me wrong, Vris-Rezi is absolutely the way to go and the healthy thing for Vriska, but also I am not 100% sure if you can gloss over every single one of her relationships with guys as Comphet? (Compbi? Since it’s Trolls) Not to say it justifies anything with Gamzee, that was just nasty. But I feel there’s nuance to talk about Vriska’s sexuality.

Hussie doesn't like his fans or care about Homestuck, how you can read the Epilogue and say the opposite it honestly insane and a complete bold faced lie. Any author that cares about their work would read someone demanding a character be given a dog dick and say no. Any author who cares about their work and their fans wouldn't have released such a purposely bad and painful epilogue and then demand payment for a resolution. Just give up. That's the moral of Homestuck. Give up. It's pointless.

Nah man, you’re just jaded and hurt and projecting. Hussie and the WP Team love Homestuck. It would’ve been so fucking easy to just stop doing Homestuck and move onto something, not even release an Epilogue. It’s like when Homestuck ended. People accused Hussie of a rushed ending with Act 7 back in the day, of disliking Homestuck and the Fans, of having just wrapped it up quickly, but like... If you want to wrap Homestuck up quickly... There were a million fan theories and endings out around that would’ve been so much simpler, easier and basic than what we got. The fact we got Act 7 and all it entailed, the shit the characters go through the Epilogues, of course a lot of awful shit happens, but like... Precisely? If you’re tired of doing something, you just wrap things up. You don’t set up new plot points and mess with the characters and push a new narrative outlook on something. This is the work of an experimental team that still do love the content and characters. Again, you return to the fucking Dog Cock like it’s the biggest sin the Epilogues commit. You haven’t even mentioned Jane’s fascism a single time, but you’ve mentioned Jade’s Dog Fucking Cock like fucking twenty times. Who the fuck cares about what sort of junk Jade has, the Epilogues themselves barely even care, it’s mentioned in the passing and it hardly affects a THING at all. You ask me how I can ‘read the Epilogues and see the opposite of what they say’, and I ask you the exact same thing, because despite all the awful things that happen, Rose and Kanaya keep fighting against tyranny in Candy. Kanaya realizes she’s been brainwashed and chases after Rose because she’s NOT giving up on her wife. Roxy explores their gender identity and finds new things about themself. Karkat gets to live his rebel leader dreams in one Timeline, although with a bitter split from Dave, but ends up together in a proper relationship in Meat. John’s arc in Candy about feeling isolated from a world that seems fake, before realizing his nihilism has hurt the people he cares about and wanting to fix it. Jake’s morale of ‘better late than never’, working up the courage to take Tavros away from Jane- And in HS^2, working as a double-agent trying to sabotage Jane from within? Jane’s been shown at her worst in candy, but in Meat she’s shown to still be redeemable, and that’s exactly what the team’s aiming to do, too.

Like... I can see all the bad stuff that happens. And I find the reactions of the characters to these awful situations are interesting, and the political conflict among friends and the pushing forward in such a dark situation, resonates with me, personally, and some of my own experiences? Not to say, the Epilogues are a Game Over scenario? They are a low point. HS^2 sets up to be the high point. Like... When Game Over happened, a lot of people were like “Welp, Hussie just killed everyone, lol, guess he just got tired of Homestuck”, despite the Retcon Powers being there as the obvious solution. Epilogues, lots of shit happen, and similarly there’s still like a hundred ways to build up from there to a satisfactory resolution? Storytelling can have low points you know. It hurts when it’s characters you care about, duh, specially when it plays into the weaknesses they already acknowledged but fell into again despite themselves. I see why so many people would dislike them and take a more negative vibe from them than they actually convey. But I am still baffled as to why people like you feel entitled to shit on the WP Team and send harassment and insults to people who do enjoy them. You’re not helping anything. You’re not doing anything good. You’re just being a dick.

As for the “demand a payment for a resolution”, they didn’t demand anything? I will be the first one to say that I don’t like the Extra Bonus for 5 bucks, and think it would be better if the Bonus got released like, a month or two after it has for Patrons, an ‘early access’ scenario like I do with my Patreon. And I hope they change this. But aside from that??? The Patreon is optional to support the creators because, it’s not just Hussie, it’s a big team, and they’re also using the Patreon to help them with other projects like Pesterquest and Hiveswap, because we live in a capitalistic hell world and need money to be able to pursue passion projects. The main updates every month- And twice a month starting February- Are completely free for people to read, still, the paywalled content still circulates around the community despite being paywalled, and other paid projects like, Pesterchum, for their scope and the amount of fun they’ve given me, they’re super cheap and worth it.

You ask me how I can ‘see the opposite the Epilogues say’, you tell me that I am an ‘idiot sucking Hussie’s dick for a job at WP’, you act like I am scum and brainwashed and there’s literally no reason why I should ever like something you don’t.

You know what I am though? I am happy and excited about the things I’ve been given! I am happy with the representation I’ve seen the Team push lately. I’m happy with the way the characters have been treated in Pesterquest and have high hopes for HS^2. And I am interested in the events of the Epilogues, while acknowledging that of course a lot of fucked up shit happened in them.

Back when the Epilogues happening and I was reading them, I was reading Candy at like 4 AM and was LOVING the fucked up-ness of the Timeline and wondering what may happen in Meat. I got a PM from a friend asking me to make a channel in a server I’m in, to quarantine Epilogues Discourse, and was genuinely confused as to why there was Discourse going on. I went through the rest of Candy and Meat with some dread waiting for some ball to drop and something to turn really controversial, and I finished them still enjoying them? Obviously there was a lot of awful shit. Obviously there was a lot of things people wouldn’t like. Obviously they were tales that likely alienated a chunk of the Fandom that was looking for a happy ending. But honestly, the unbridled fury and subsequent harassment of people over them is just plain embarrassing. It was confusing then, and it’s even more confusing now, well over half a year since their release, and still sending random Tumblr Blogs this kind of bullshit.

So there you go! All of your questions and your bullshit, answered! Now let’s get this out of the way: You’re not going to like my answer, you’re not going to agree with a majority of what I just said, you’re not going to CARE about any of what I just said. Spare me the fucking asks and anon hate. Just move on and do something productive with your time.

[thefloatingstone]

heyo amigo! one question, specific asnwer: you talked once about the issue that there isnt much of new people and more content of Undertale. but thats actually not true. i think everybody is forgetting that there are artist but who just started like with drawing, writing, etc. and are unpopular. They just need a bit of support so they could shine too. i know how hard it was for other artist (who are amazing at art) at the beginning. so helping the little ones would be quit cool (1/2)

(2/2) But what about the content? is there still things to draw/write which havent been done yet? i dont thing so (if we exclude AUs) (which i can understand) or is it good to see one idea but from two different perpectives? sorry if i ask you too many questions or if i am coming as rude. this just furstrates me..

I don’t actually remember saying this? It doesn’t sound like something I’d say tbh. If anything I’ve been saying that the fanbase has settled down away from the kinds of fans who are WAY too passionate and cause fandom drama and the kinds of people that make people say Undertale is a “toxic fandom” even though, by now, those people have long ago moved on to whatever is the NEXT big new fandom for them to get super invested in. The fans right now are either people who have been here for a long time and are far more chill, or new fans that never checked out the game when it first came out or who stayed away when the fandom was everywhere and considered annoying, and who now feel safer checking it out.

And I disagree completely X’D

Again, I was BIG into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles cartoon from 2003….

….and I joined the fanbase in 2009. SIX YEARS after the show first aired and like 2 years after it had officially ended. And of those 7 seasons only 4 of them were good and the fanbase tended to ignore seasons 5 - 7 completely. like COMPLETELY tho.

and there was STILL an active community (heck there still IS an active community) and many of them had new stories, situations, ideas and plots. Sometimes the plot was similar, but it would still end up being very different despite basically starting as the same idea at first, just with how the persn who wrote it’s imagination worked.

Heck I myself showed up and did basically COMPLETELY unique content for the most part just because I was focusing on a smaller side character that nobody else was as interested in before.

(Hello old shitty art from 2008)

And I can already hear you say “But TMNT has been around since the 80s!” and to you I say “no! THis was NOT a fanbase for ALL of TMNT. This was ONLY focused on 2k3!”

I could join a fandom SIX YEARS LATE and there was STILL new content being made for it.

Not to mention the MLP fandom.

THIS is FIM Fiction. https://www.fimfiction.net/

an ENTIRE WEBSITE dedicated to My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic fanfiction. JUST that. Nothing else.

I have a story up on there. a 150k+- word story about Discord and Fluttershy being friends and going on an adventure. And do you know why I wrote it? On this website dedicated specifically to MLP fanfics and with 96,586stories currently hosted on it?

Because nobody else had written a proper fic about Discord and Fluttershy being friends and having angst about it or going on an epic quest together and I was so frustrated I wrote one myself!!!

(And this was when the show had 3 seasons total)

Undertale is a singular game, this is true, but I do not believe for a single second “there’s nothing left to write/draw.” because I myself have a TON of writing prompts, art ideas, comic ideas that I just do NOT have time for that I have not seen ANYWHERE or anything like it at all.

What about the weird mushroom guy in the Tem village? What’s his deal? What’s with that weird house in the valley? What about the fact that Toby himself has said there are a LOT of places that exist Underground that just don’t show up in the game?

If you find that there’s “nothing more to draw/write” then I think either you are underestimating the limit of people’s imaginations, or you seem to think the only characters worth focusing on in the game are Sans, Papyrus and Frisk (maybe Flowey).

I’ve recently started reading a fanfic about Grillby adopting Sans and papyrus when they first wandered into Snowdin as children and was discussing it with the author, and it seems despite there being a few Dadby fics out there, there are NOT many of them and the ones that exist don’t tackle the things she wanted to do. And after the fic finished I dunno what I’m gonna do with myself because I need MORE and there ISN’T more.

That’s also something you underestimate. The level of MORE that fans want of specific topics and ideas.

“This has been done before.” “OF COURSE IT HAS AND IT BETTER BE DONE AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE A HUNGER THAT CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED!!!”

This idea of “this has been done before so there’s no point” is something that REALLY needs to stop like right the fuck now. It’s a mindset I have never seen in the other fandoms I’ve been part of and I don’t think it’s an Undertale problem so much as its an internet problem now that the next generation of younger teens are online.

It’s nonsense, it needs to be stopped.

Look I don’t care if “something’s been done before”. of COURSE it has! Bitch I don’t want ONE Story about Gaster haunting Sans and Papyrus! That’d be HORRIBLE. I need like 50!!! AT LEAST!!!

Imagine being in a fandom like, say, Steven Universe. And there is only allowed to be ONE drawing of Rose Quartz and Pearl as girlfriends. ONLY ONE.

NOBODY MAY EVER DRAW ROSE AND PEARL TOGETHER AGAIN BECAUSE JOHNNY MCGEE ALREADY DID SO IN ONE SINGULAR PICTURE!! IT’S BEEN DONE NOW!!

What kind of insane dumb-ass fandom would that be???

I’ve BEEN in a fandom with only like 10 fics in it as a whole and none of them were the same as each other. It was AWFUL.

This idea of “There is nothing more to draw or write so this fandom is over now everybody go home it’s all cancelled” needs to die because it literally makes next to no sense to me.

First of all it’s NOT true, and even if it WAS true who actually cares???

Me and my 50 000 Sans and Papyrus Hurt Comfort fics are very happy together, thank you.

((also I’m not yelling at you specifically, anon. I’m just so friggen tired of this complete lunacy))

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The Last Jedi: What I Disliked About One of the Most Fascinating Films Ever Made

The Last Jedi is probably one of the most controversial films ever made for a lot of reasons. This movie did a LOT of shit, a lot of shit that would piss people off. Hell, it even pissed ME off. But when I see people on the internet frothing at the mouth and calling this movie the worst shit pile to ever exist, the most offensive thing Star Wars has ever produced, and threatening the director with death and calling him a soulless piece of shit bastard… I’m pretty inclined to defend the movie. Frankly, anyone who reacts THIS negatively to TLJ is an utter braindead moron; you do realize you can dislike a film without being completely, insanely hyperbolic, yeah? Again, there’s a lot I hate in this movie too, and I’m gonna talk about it shortly, but in a franchise with Jar-Jar, the holiday special, and vast swaths of the Legends continuity, is this seriously the worst this franchise has had to offer? If you answer anything other than “No,” congratulations, I’d say you’re about the same mental capacity as people who think Watto is some sort of offensive Jewish caricature.

But as much as I would love to spend an entire post insulting all the whiny bastards in the Star Wars fandom, I have more pressing matters: criticizing stuff in The Last Jedi. And boy do I have a lot to criticize. I actually did review the movie a while back, and while I stand by my initial thoughts, I gotta go into more detail about what I didn’t like. However, before continuing, I want to make one thing  absolutely clear:

I think The Last Jedi is a genuinely good movie. Maybe not GREAT per se, as I have more criticisms for it than just about any other film in the series, but excellence is just so wholly ingrained into the DNA of Star Wars theatrical films that even at their most divisive they still have some level of charm. And at any rate, this movie is a hell of a lot more interesting than Rogue One. I’d say out of the newer films, this one sits behind Solo. Anyway, let’s get on to the main event… here are all my issues with The Last Jedi, presented alphabetically, and with lots of spoilers:

Canto Bright: This is probably the most annoying waste of time in the entire film, a blatant and obnoxious stretch of padding the runtime. Nothing that happens in the entirety of this subplot is truly important in the grand scheme of things; the only relevant bit of plot is that they find DJ, and this could have been done a lot quicker. This wouldn’t be so bad if they had made Canto Bright a bit more interesting, but it just feels like another attempt to rehash Mos Eisley’s cantina. It also doesn’t help this part of the film has blatant, unsubtle moralizing and cuts away from far more interesting plotlines that get much less development, particularly Rey training with Luke.

Ditching Kylo’s Motivation: In The Force Awakens, Kylo was motivated by a sort of misaimed admiration for his grandfather, where he viewed Vader as someone to emulate and who he looked to as he struggled between the light side and the dark side. All of this helped make him rather intriguing, as well as making him a very intentional Darth Vader clone character; his whole purpose was to emulate Vader, after all. All of this is ditched close to the start of The Last Jedi, and the Kylo in this film feels almost entirely different to the one seen previously. While I did like Kylo Ren  a lot more in this movie, I wish they didn’t completely rewrite his character and ditch everything established in favor of what they did. It could have easily been worked into how he acted in the film.

Finn’s Diminished Importance: After being something of the star of the last film, complete with a noticeable character arc and a lot of focus, Finn kinda gets shafted here, relegated to a shitty, unnecessary sideplot that leads the heroes nowhere. It just seems really weird, though I’m not unhappy Rey got more focus and was fleshed out better.

Holdo: While I tend to view people who write her off as “The purple-haired feminist bitch” or “Captain SJW” as inferior human beings – and they are, seriously, if you unrironically say shit like this you’re a drooling nincompoop – I really can’t deny in the slightest that Holdo was written rather poorly. She really is a poor excuse for a captain, openly lying to her underlings and keeping things secret when explaining the plan would have effected nothing except her entire crew’s compliance. It almost feels like this plot was written so we’d be on Poe’s side, but it works a bit too well by making Holdo far too arrogant, stupid, and haughty to really get behind. If not for her awesome heroic sacrifice  (one that might not have been needed in the first place if she’d been more honest but hey) I’d probably list her as one of the worst Star Wars characters ever… but a heroic sacrifice of this magnitude,  no matter how unearned it may seem, never fails to impress me.

Killing Snoke: I can kinda see what they were going for, seeing as Palpatine as well was killed with very little revealed about him in The Last Jedi… but we have now had several years worth of canonical prequel material to flesh him out, and it’s honestly pretty stupid to assume you can pull off the same trick in a franchise twice and expect it to go off as well. Snoke was unflinchingly cool, creepy, and badass, so his bisection comes across as a waste of a truly intriguing villain. That there may be prequels detailing who he was do little to ease the sting of Andy Serkis being built up as the big bad only to be cut down. At least in Black Panther he got more substantial screentime; here,  he’s s till cool, but it just feels like there is so much more he could have been.

Luke’s Attempted Murder: While overall I loved Luke’s characterization in this film and how it tied excellently into the theme of not deifying your heroes due to the trouble that can cause, it’s hard for me to rationalize Luke’s attempted murder of his own nephew, leading to Kylo Ren’s turn to the dark side. While Luke has always been a bit impulsive, this man believed he could redeem Darth Vader, AND DID SO. Need I remind you what Anakin did to those younglings? And yet his own nephew, he won’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he did stop himself, but the very fact he went in there lightsaber ready to cut down the child of his sister and his best friend just feels really jarring and out of place, even within his more cynical characterization.

Phasma: Phasma has come across as a forced Boba Fett replacement since The Force Awakens, to the point where in both films she has appeared in she has been completely and utterly outshined by mooks – Nines (AKA TR-8R) in TFA and the Praetorian Guard in this one. Despite her getting a ton of fascinating backstory and depth in  canonical supplementary material, literally none of that is ever showcased even slightly in this film, and after a short, underwhelming fight scene, she apparently falls to her death. Sure, she COULD have survived, but this still feels like a rather big waste of the character. For someone they hyped up so much, the way she is handled really feels undignified.

Rey’s Parents: I’m not gonna lie, this reveal is stupid in and of itself, but the stupider thing is that a lot of people seem to be taking it at face value. When was it collectively decided we should trust the creepy, evil Sith lord who has made it perfectly clear he wants control over Rey? Why are we taking Kylo’s word that Rey’s parents were drunks who sold their kids as FACT? Honestly it just seems like a further ploy to manipulate her more than anything.

Reylo: While it isn’t canon as of yet, this movie really hammers in a bunch of hints for the obnoxiously popular ship between heroine Rey and antagonist Kylo Ren. And, quite frankly, I absolutely fucking hate this ship, but probably for a lot different reasons than most people. Do I think it’s shipping abuse? No, I don’t think it’s that any more than I think any other hero-villain ship is. Do I think Kylo doesn’t deserve to be redeemed by Rey? That’s not it either; the entire premise of this franchise is that any person can be redeemed. Kylo Ren is really no exception, though considering he killed my favorite character I’d be happy to see his ass beat. No, I hate it because I just absolutely hate the trope, if it even is one, of the hero redeeming the villain through romantic love. I feel like it would cheapen Rey’s character, and just turn the entire new trilogy into an overly long romantic drama. All the heavy-handed hints towards this pairing is just gag worthy, and frankly I’m going to be annoyed if they ruin both of these characters by going through with it.

Rose: Rose is without a doubt in my mind the worst character in the entire franchise. This seems like a rather tall order considering her competition, but consider this: her biggest contributions to the plot are the Canto Bright plotline, the absolute worst part of the film… and stopping Finn from performing a badass heroic sacrifice that might have saved the heroes a lot of trouble, delivering the stupidest line  in Star Wars history, kissing Finn, and fainting. She’s just utterly pointless to the point she feels like someone’s OC from a fanfic where they get with Finn was slipped into the script.

Wasting DJ: So you get Benicio Del Toro,  and you put him in your movie. Great so far, good. He does some weird accent and makes the character have a quirky personality, still good. You give him a very morally ambiguous personality and show the shades of grey in this idealistic universe that leans towards black vs. white most of the time, excellent, awesome! AND THEN… he betrays the heroes and vanishes from the film. What. DJ didn’t die, and he could come back… but he just feels shoehorned in and just doesn’t really reach his full potential whatsoever. He was such an interesting idea, and they just did the bare minimum with him.

Despite all of this crap, though… The Last Jedi still manages to be awesome. Holdo’s final sacrifice, the Kylo Ren and Rey fight against the Praetorian Guards, Yoda’s surprise appearance, Luke’s final battle… Hell, I even liked seeing Leia finally use the Force by flying through space with it; as cheesy as it is, it left me floored when I saw it in theaters. Then, of course, there’s that epic opening space battle… there’s just a lot to love here. In particular, my favorite moment is probably Luke becoming one with the Force. Maybe it’s not my MOST favorite moment, but it just feels so poignant and important, with his final moments mirroring the start of his journey, as he gazes into twin suns one last time before joining his teachers and father. It just… it gets to you, you know? I may have a LOT of issues with this movie, and a lot of stuff I didn’t really like in it, but more than any other movie I have so many issues with, I like and even RESPECT this film. You can say a lot of things about this movie, but one thing you can’t say is that it’s dull. It sparks discussion, and debate, and obnoxiously hyperbolic worst-everism. At the end of the day, whether it’s good or bad doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is that this film just… IS. And one way or another people will have something to say about it. Just don’t be a hyperbolic douche about it and try and enjoy things, you know?

[todorokicourse-archive]

Just in case dandymeowth deletes the old posts they had on their blog (Part One)

9/10/16: bizarropurugly

list of things anti-sj have told/believed about me, this list is not exhaustive

tw for animal death/cruelty, nsfw, ableism, pregnancy, rape mention, drugs, pedophilia, etc

I personally created the Butthurt Brigade and did it to stalk and harass autistic kids on deviantART.

Also, I was kicked out of the BHB because I was “psychotic” about stalking and harassing autistics and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I was obsessed with rape and murder and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I kept harassing people sexually and the other members became afraid of me. Or wait, no, it was because I wouldn’t stop posting NSFW in the group’s private chatroom and etc etc etc

I deny I was ever a part of the BHB.

I ran multiple accounts posing as the BHB/members of the BHB across multiple websites just to prove that all anti-sj content is a conspiracy to kill me. (???)

I got pregnant on purpose to just to have an abortion, multiple times.

I kill cats. I harassed staff and admins on various websites for pity while killing cats. Refusing to take cats to the vet, to fix them, or to let them be inside cats. I started a fundraiser for a cat who I won’t neuter and whose kittens I put in trees to scam people.

I consider myself a “shitposter extraordinaire”.

I’m anti-kink, anti-nsfw, and anti-porn.

I call people anti-choice if they keep a pregnancy. I want all pregnancies everywhere forever aborted and I think anyone who disagrees with that is a misogynist.

I use my depression as a defence when people criticize me, or as an excuse to not improve. I threaten suicide over this.

I write fanfics for rape and have been banned from multiple websites for it. I also draw rape art of people I don’t like.

I’m always smoking weed, constantly, nonstop. But also, I claim to hate marijuana.

I’m always masturbating, constantly, nonstop. I consider myself crazy, quirky, and random for having sex toys or naming my sex toys, and regularly post pictures of them. I spam my followers asking what I should do with my sex toys next.

I haven’t had a job for several years.

I believe / I said austistics are being raped and beaten in the streets in broad daylight.

I love spamming people with and generally being into hardcore guro.

I’ve been in / I am currently in groups that have the intention to give people seizures on purpose. I hate epileptics and think they shouldn’t be allowed anywhere but particularly the Internet.

I chased down and harassed, threatened, spammed multiple people for genderbend art. And for liking Uncle Grandpa, in fact I specifically followed the show’s tag to find victims.

I claim to be triggered by Uncle Grandpa existing and that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse.

I run WNSE posing as a medical expert / a medical professional.

I am intersex, or that I stated having a mole made me intersex.

I created Ham Ham Kingdom and left it in shitty code disarray. I did this with several websites and refused to let anyone else be administrators.

I lost my virginity for shits and giggles and did it with a coworker sexually harassing me. Also, I did it to prove sex was bad and so I could post all over my Tumblr how wrong and oppressive sex is.

I have a phobia of Middle Eastern men and it keeps me from sleeping well.

I lie about hating alcohol and get drunk regularly.

I groom children for pedophilia by posting instructions on how to masturbate.

I made a chatroom on dA for posting nsfw, guro, rape, etc and it was banned.

Scrapping a character and story about a single father because it wasn’t about rape or gayness.

I think age of consent laws are stupid and meaningless. I am sexually attracted to minors.

9/10/16:bizarropurugly

And now for the truth of these lies (if there is any)

same warnings as before

I didn’t create the BHB or come anywhere close to doing that. By the time I joined the BHB it had already been restarted several times, with each time having less of the original crew (and consequently having more mortal enemies from that original crew). I was briefly an admin after it had been restarted again after the dA deactivation fiasco, and then was removed as an admin as part of a fake fight, but I never asked to be reinstated, so I wasn’t. Yes, all I had to do was ask, there was no amazing revolution or conspiracy involved at all. What happened was that, in one of the few times I was ever in the BHB chatroom (which was rarely ever populated if I could remember right), we got to talking about reverse racism and how awful it was (yes, really), and that dA admins were being shit about it (which was a frequent focus). So the idea came up to make “secret” white pride groups to bait dAdmins to deleting it so that we could prove the reverse racism. Revolting as it was, they weren’t deleted, but Fuhrer Glasses and I came up with separate groups, had a “fight” about it, and when I wouldn’t say that his was funnier, he removed me as an admin until I would or until I asked. (This is different from what I had said before, I know; I had said that he edited a picture of me and I didn’t find it funny so he removed me in the same manner, but I actually remembered that that particular event happened afterwards and what he was threatening me with was actually a temporary ban from the chat, but that he didn’t go through with, and which he threatened because I wouldn’t tell him why I was asking him not to post it. At the time I didn’t want to admit I had really bad body image and dysphoria because, well, does the BHB sound like a safe place to admit to those things? Especially since I had seen members and admins alike misgender trans people they deemed “lulcows”, which is a tradition these types of groups continue now.) After that, I gradually stopped being active as I grew apathetic with dA and became less active in general on it, finding Tumblr to somehow be more preferable (maybe ‘cause all my friends had left dA too? lol). Yes, it was a troll group, and yes, it did involve harassing others like any and all other troll and anti-sj groups that have since spawned in its place. And that’s literally all it was - the same shit you’ll find on places like Tumblr, Kiwi Farms, Encyclopaedia Dramatica, and etc. It was never a specific group against any particular persons or identities, although like these places definitely featured ableists, eugenicists, Nazis, and somesuch. It’s not a proud time in my Internet history by no means, but no, I wasn’t leading a secret war against autistics, I didn’t send or threaten anybody with sexual content (the only people I talked to on messengers were Fuhrer Glasses on MSN and former-admins-now-enemies years later on Skype), I wasn’t kicked out because everyone got scared of me (honestly that’s a really laughable thing to claim if you remember who the admins were), and honestly the only place I’ve ever publically gotten into details about my kinks has been Tumblr (later FurAffinity and Weasyl), and only in recent years have I ever really openly discussed kinky stuff with people in private conversation or through messages. The only place I could think this claim would come from was when I was in the chat of the enemy group (ie, the anti-BHB) and kept talking about milk machines, which got me temporarily banned because I wouldn’t shut up and was making the chat too nsfw for everyone’s likings (generally jokes were the only OK things). I admit to making people uncomfortable here because I was an excitable shit who kept infodumping at random and I want to send out an especial apology to toonlink about that shit in particular. But no, this wasn’t the BHB and this was after I had already been removed as an admin from the BHB. The BHB wasn’t allowed to be talked about there, really. And I’ve never denied that I was a part of the BHB, ever. Denied that the BHB was all the scary made-up bullshit people who weren’t even admins claim? Yeah, and I’m really surprised at the amount of people who remember BHB and being in it, and even praise its existence and/or mourn it, but yet simultaneously think the admins ever cared about who got harassed or that the BHB was some eugenics agent group.

The “multiple accounts posing as BHB” thing came from a single person’s post that was 100% a bunch of lies and bullshit they never answered for. Other BHB members/ex-members along with myself have even denounced it. This came from the same person claiming I created the BHB, created it to stalk autistics, and was kicked out (despite being the founder? lol) because the BHB grew a conscience somehow and started caring about autism. That’s all bullshit, so is the claim that I’ve made accounts on Reddit, LJ, and side accounts on Tumblr to pretend to be the BHB to give it a bad name or to create evidence that anti-sj people are trying to kill me or some weird ass bullshit that made 0 sense. This person claimed to have been a BHB admin (they weren’t, at least not while I was ever part of it, and nobody else has heard of them) and also to have been a Skype buddy of mine during a time I didn’t use Skype but instead MSN, and as I’ve said the only BHB people I’ve talked to on Skype were original-now-ex-members, which all have attested to this being bullshit. And what’s funny is that this out-of-nowhere post appeared during a dispute with user noyka about whether ableism is real and whether the disabled are oppressed, and has subsequently been used by said user as proof that I’m The Real Ableist. This was also the same user claiming I said autistics were being beaten and raped in the streets, which has never been anything I’ve said, not literally and not in spirit. This claim came from our argument after I linked various articles of autistic children being killed by their parents and receiving sympathy for it as part of evidence of ableism being real. In other words, not just a strawman of what I said but a complete lie. That and the frequent use of autistic as an insult and casually suggesting euthanasia as a treatment for “autists” being constantly brayed by the people who’ve created and perpetuated these lies should really be all the proof anyone needs as to their veracity.

The claim I kill cats comes from intentional misreading and outright lies about pasts posts I have made regarding the death of my animals. The posts gathered have spanned at least 3 or 4 years and are often presented out of order or under the impression that they’ve all happened within the same span of months. Another thing to understand: these posts were made while I was living with my parents still and didn’t have a job. The posts presented do talk about cats dying, but “in horrible, avoidable ways” can be a stretch, considering some of them are just that the cats disappeared, and others died as a result of illnesses and issues that either came suddenly or that we’d been trying to fight for a long time. For example, a post taken as proof of me killing my cats and “feeling nothing about it” was a post I had written after we had put Crookie down about how upset I was that she had died and that this had happened. This was taken as me trying to garner pity for an animal I purposely and cruelly murdered and put all the focus on how hard it was to be me. We had Crookie for several years, and while she was young she was hit by a car and suffered spinal damage, and this ended up being why she had to be euthanized; I don’t quite remember what it was that was specifically wrong, but the vet told us that frequently it is missed and while the cat seems to improve, it will eventually begin to decline up to and including total pelvic shutdown, which Crookie was getting near to. It was horrible to witness her climbing trees but then in a few months unable to support her hind end, because we had been fooled into thinking she was going to be okay. It’s such a specific condition that it is rarely seen or checked for; there was no plausible way for us to have seen it coming. That’s why she died. It wasn’t instant, she wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a decision made on the fly, and you bet your ass I fucking cared about it and bawled for days on end about it. Crookie was incredibly special and a fucking gift to this earth, I didn’t want her to die and I damned well wasn’t fucking ready for it. Could she have not been hit by a car? Yeah. Yeah she should have been inside. But it wasn’t in my fucking power; it wasn’t my house. I had no control over that shit. That’s your answer to every “why weren’t they inside” and “why didn’t you bring them in” - because I wasn’t allowed to! And no, I also didn’t have the personal finances at the time to take anyone to a vet, not even to be fixed. My parents are fucking awful about this and ever since I have moved out I have been the one taking these animals to the vet even though I don’t live with them anymore, and I’m frequently berated by them about how much money I “waste” while doing this. And that’s how a lot of the “evidence” for this claim is. They take posts out of context of their time and my place, line them up together, and say I personally and intentionally killed a million cats in a month. They said I killed a kitten, because it crawled under my brother’s jeep hood and got its neck broken. Because he kept driving into the yard after we had repeatedly told him not to, and never checked his vehicle before starting it, because he quite fucking frankly doesn’t and never cared. They said I murdered it, and that I was abusive and evil because I made a post about it - about the horror of fucking witnessing a literal fucking baby struggling and dying in fear and panic right before your fucking eyes and not knowing what to do and how awfully it fucks with your head, with your life, to be in that position. They said I killed a kitten I raced to the emergency room because my parents called at midnight saying he couldn’t breathe, that I dropped 600 dollars down without question for the surgery that could save him, that he fucking died in anyway, that they called me at 3 in the morning and told me he didn’t fucking survive. My parents said I wasted my money, that I should have told them not to even try. And they said I purposely put kittens in a tree - intentionally stripping the context of how that’s where they were born, and that we stopped trying to take them down because the mother kept taking them back up there and we were afraid she’d fucking drop them. They also claimed that this cat from posts 3 years prior, that I had while living with my parents and that had been adopted to another family, was the cat I was raising funds for and thus I was scamming people. The cat I raised funds for was a black “male”, she was an orange mother cat, and again there’s 3 years and two locations between those posts - there’s no way to confuse the two, but there is if you’re desperate to smear someone as psychotic animal murderer because you know they’re sensitive to cat death! Basically, they twist my posts of me mourning my beloved pets as being “woe is me give me money” posts, and spread the rumour that I just let these things happen.

When I posted the “shitty artist” list, like every time this kind of post is made, it was reduced and watered down to make out like the OP is a radical hater who wants everything censored, and so I was called anti-kink, anti-porn, and anti-nsfw because of my pointing out the problems with these artists that of which some were porn artists. Which when it came to those it was generally the issue of pedophilia, zoophilia/bestiality, rape, fetishization especially of trans people, the usage of transphobic/intersexist slurs (like f*ta), and other really nasty shit. As a result a lot of my nsfw work is used as an “aha!” for why I’m stupid, a hypocrite, and a disgusting creep. It’s really hilarious to try to drag me for being openly sexual, while also calling me these things. So am I a slut or a prude? Whichever works to whip up the crowd, I guess. And of course, dragging me for the same things they praise and defend in others. But no, I’m not anti any of those things. I have had “kink positive” as a descriptor for a long, long while. I think the peak of funny when it comes to these claims is when anonymous people tried to warn one of my friends and fave kink artists about me, about how I was a kink-shamer and swerf/radfem and they should be careful. But yeah basically these kinds of claims are from people who think “you can draw porn just don’t use slurs” and “this person is a pedophile/rapist/animal rapist” are kink-shaming.

The anti-choice thing is from a particular shitty little brat who is fucking furiously obsessed with me because I told them they’re not my friend and I don’t like them or want anything to do with because they are anti-choice. I kept explaining how and why they are anti-choice, but they prefer to lie and say I called them anti-choice because I don’t think people should have babies. They’ve taken this lie and ran with it, including posting about it on the submissions/pages of other anti-choicers and linking me so that they’ll attack me. If I even still used the word, I’d say they’re the definition of butthurt. They may also be the reason for the idea that I get pregnant just to have abortions, or at least spread it themself.

The “rape fanfics” crap started over To Violate. To Violate was a story I was writing about Candler’s background (spoiler alert? haha) and, yes, it involved rape. Because the story was about how he became a the person he is, which included that he was sexually abused and later sexually abusive himself. Actually the main idea behind it was that he and Zed have both been sexually abused, but each reacted radically differently to it, and I guess the ultimate goal was to write this and Zed’s history down and basically show how we can react in our own unique ways to the trauma we experience. I’ve removed it myself (it has never been deleted from anywhere else otherwise) from the places I had it posted due to the fact it was way, way too ambitious of a project for me (for now) and was just downright written badly. Like, really badly. And I’ve since significantly changed Candler’s backstory… But it wasn’t a “fanfic” for rape - detailing sexual abuse and pedophilia and how it screws you up isn’t exactly what I would call a “fanfic”.

I haven’t smoked weed in a long, long time, and at no point did I ever say I hated it. What I DID say was that it was exhausting - because I’m very intolerant of smoke, so a hacking fit to the point of seeing stars or going temporarily blind was always guaranteed. As for not getting a job, that was when I lived with my parents, and never have I asked for money while living with them; my asking for financial help is relatively new (within the last 2 years at most?). I don’t like alcohol. I can drink here and there, but only wine coolers or Mike’s Hard and other lightweight stuff. Something in particular about alcohol is incredibly vile and wretched to my taste buds. The posts brought up of me drinking/being drunk are several years old, and most of them aren’t even of me being drunk. I think I’ve only legitimately been drunk maybe twice in my life. The posts in context with them also frequently talked about how I was harassed into drinking most times, because people don’t like to hear “no” about this, but of course that was omitted when bringing this terrible sin up. Like marijuana, I haven’t had alcohol in a very long time.

So my sexuality frequently becomes a subject, as mentioned. For whatever reason, a bunch of redditors chose to read the post I made about my first sexual encounter as me being a nasty radfem tricking a poor boy into sex just to destroy him and spread that sex was bad. I really don’t have to explain why this is bullshit because if you know me you know I’m not anti-sex at all. (WNSE? lol?) This same post is often brought up to mock me for no reason because I guess the very thought of a “sjw” having sex and posting personal posts on a personal blog is laughable? I didn’t have sex “just to lose my virginity”. I have never expressed anything like that in my life. If anything, most of my life I bought into the bullshit of coveted virginity. My early sexuality is a real complicated topic, but at no point did this ever become a thing. And when I did have that first encounter, I don’t think I even had a job? So no, I wasn’t going to sleep with my sexually-harassing-coworker. I actually met him online at FetLife (wouldn’t recommend that!), I don’t remember exactly how it started but we wound up exchanging numbers and chatting and talking on the phone frequently. This shit might have been pulled out of the asses of the anti-feminists who attacked me for making a post for the former “why I need feminism” trend; the post I had made was about how I was being harassed and creeped on by a coworker, and I complained about it to my mother because this was the guy I had bummed rides off of. She was all with me about how creepy and stalkerish he was being, up until she realized I was talking about someone my age rather than someone her age, and then she did a complete 180 and started yelling at me for “being so antisocial” for thinking this was shitty behaviour. The reason I said I needed feminism was because my mother and family thought this behaviour is acceptable as long as it’s from someone my age, and anti-feminists leaped on the post saying I was calling all men rapists, lying about my sexual harassment, lying about my sexual abuse and the way my parents treated it (like a joke), saying sex is bad, and etc. The rest of the shit about my sexuality is generally just for some reason finding it vile and creepy for me to even post about it on my personal blog, regardless of whether the claims are true - such as, no, I’ve never spammed anyone about my toys nor posted a million pictures of them? but even if I did so?? what?? Which again is hilarious when these are the same people decrying me for supposedly being anti-porn and anti-kink. And for the record, no, I’m not into hardcore guro. If we’re talking about gore at all I’m a real lightweight and I don’t really find it sexually exciting. I don’t find murder sexually exciting in itself either.  

“Seizure Terrorists” is the only group I’ve ever known that would come anywhere close to fitting the description of a group made to give people seizures. And that’s not at all what they do - the group is just a place for flashing images and icons. During my time on dA around the same era as the BHB, rapid flashing images were incredibly popular. Some kind of meta level offensive shit. I’ve never been a member of Seizure Terrorists and the cap that was presented as proof (well, the one I saw) is cropped and snipped so badly I don’t know why people believe it. It also only made its appearance after I asked if ST was what they were referring to (because, again, I have no idea about anything else that comes close). The only affiliation I’ve had with them is that they’ve requested some of my stamps in their group. Idk if this is still true, but on dA when you’ve got images in a group, you’ll show up on their front page regardless if you’re a member, and it will say something like contributor or something?? Anyway, that’s how they got that cap, mate. Not a single person has responded to me about that.

Oh boy, the SU/UG thing. So it began a while ago before this thing in which some little truscum shit jumped on my post about how I was tired of seeing objectifying shitty genderbend art in the tag for the character Mephisto Pheles. Mind you, my personal is always set not to show up in search and I didn’t tag this post with anything relevant. In other words, this person showed up out of nowhere and started screaming at me for criticizing genderbending. They stopped replying after I asked for proof of me harassing anyone. This same person then went on to claim I had attacked and threatened their friend(s) (they kept changing the number) and several other artists over genderbend art. They were just thatmad about it. And when it came to my post about how I didn’t like the Steven Universe/Uncle Grandpa crossover, they couldn’t wait to spam tags and inboxes about how I had done this and was also now doing it to Uncle Grandpa fans and the fandom tag. Again, they stopped replying to me when I demanded they post the proof. At no point had I ever ventured into a tag. I avoid tags as much as possible. All the things I had posted were replies to reblogs of my post, or replies to messages I was being sent. I also never said anything about being triggered, or that Uncle Grandpa is child abuse. What I did say was that cartoons are important especially for children’s developing selves, as a response to people saying that cartoons don’t matter so we should just ignore the problems they present or feed into. This person and another screencapped a few of my posts which people love to run wild with as proof of this harassment, but, again, the caps are of me replying to my messages and reblogs of my posts. And also, for context: that person who posted the screencaps I’m pretty sure was one of the blogs that popped up solely to attack SU fans over this episode. In other words, was dedicated to that harassment they claimed I was committing. Both these users misgendered me multiple times, intentionally. You don’t have to just take my word for it since archive.is has it all. You know, a lot of these anti-sj types nearly piss their pants about people who lack reading comprehension, or take things out of context to vilify, including by digging up old and irrelevant “evidence”, and yet that’s what I’m constantly seeing them doing. In fact…

I have never claimed to be intersex and the “evidence” that has been used about that is the description of a stamp I made against genital cutting, talking about the fact that my mother 1. told me I should have my genitals altered because they’re “not right” and 2. told me she believes intersex children should have their genitals altered, going along with that same logic. You can even read that yourself in the links people provide about that. Again, it seems the people who explode the worst about reading comprehension and context are the people who commit this folly the most.

HHK brings back fond memories of me being a teenager. I’m 26 now. HHK was my place about 10 years ago. And no, none of us acted really well; we were all in some way definitely some pretty crappy kids. This was years before I even went with BHB, people are surprised about it? I’ve been an admin on it off and on, sure, but Heru was the creator and destroyer of HHK. Not really sure how that managed to get fucked around since it’s always been Heru. We tried a revival that wound up being deleted for unknown reasons, which was made by Wolfeinheim, not me, although I was an admin off and on with this version too. I tried to remake the third incarnation but by then we’d all gone our separate ways. As for multiple websites and forums dying, yeah, like most teens I tried to make a free forum over anything. Is that really a crime? Silver Fang Fanhouse was the only one that got anywhere, and I’d left it to the rest of the staff before I got on Tumblr. They have access to my account to make any changes they couldn’t otherwise and have had this access for a while, and of course at any time before were able to come tell me to do something. While I have left I didn’t just drop off the edge of the earth without a word or any way to contact me. This is a really reaching and weak receipt.

I am not phobic of any race and never have I lost sleep about that kind of thing? I did once make a racist post about “Arabs”, probably soon after watching Taken or some other shitty movie about kidnapping women into sex slavery. That was bad, absolutely, and I have apologized for that (which if you don’t accept that’s fine, that’s not a problem), but getting “phobia and can’t sleep” out of a single post about sex trafficking is a fucking stretch. For the record, I have always had insomnia issues up to and including night terrors, paranoia, and fear of sleeping in the dark / sleeping alone. That has shit all to do with a racist post I made and reducing my lifelong sleep problems to that is pretty fucking shitty.

I’ve made a couple posts about and answered minors about masturbation. Teaching how to masturbate or getting into details about what masturbation entails, and about sexual development in general, may be a controversial subject. In fact I would say it’s so controversial I was told my sex education project for highschoolers that featured simple pink circles showing how hymens can form and details about the myths surrounding hymens was given a lower grade for being “inappropriate”. But I’m pretty sure talking to teens about their bodies, especially how they can do things themselves and don’t need someone else to, and that there’s nothing immoral or wrong with that, isn’t grooming. But maybe that’s just me. I guess if you disagree with that you’re free to unfollow but I’m not going to feel bad about not posting purity myth level “education”.

I made a chatroom on dA but it pretty much died within 2 months. I realized I didn’t care that much. It was never banned or deleted as a punishment; if deviantART chatrooms do not have participants for a certain amount of time they’re automatically removed to save on webspace. I really don’t know where this rumour came from since I think maybe 4 people including myself ever attended that chatroom?

The single father story still exists. I just haven’t written it yet. If you read the post referenced, that’s exactly what I said - I didn’t write it, kind of lost the details, but I will some day when I remember them better. If you don’t believe me, his name is Frederik Botip and he is Zed’s best friend, he owns the organic grocery store that Zed shops at.

The age of consent claims relate to an incident with a user that stated that I and two other users had banded together as friends and sexually abused them/their friends and that one of us was using their sj blog(s) as a way to meet and subsequently abuse minors. There’s a lot of reasons why that was a bunch of crap but the post I’ve made about it is long gone thanks to my account being deleted. I’ll need to make a new post on it… But as a part of that one of their friends reblogged a post I had made about age of consent being tricky, because some places have it set ridiculously low, and the number of years between partners not exactly being the only thing to determine abuse, etc. It’s a subject I’ve covered a million times on WNSE. What happened is that person reblogged the post but took out everything but the opening sentence “Age of consent can be a tricky thing” and claiming I was making a case for child sexual abuse/pedophilia as a part of saying I tried to rape their friend. (This was also a person who said that it could never be possible for someone to rape/abuse someone older than them hence the context of my reply.) (For the record because I know the above is potential worrying content, if you don’t feel comfortable with me that’s fine. I don’t expect you to buy everything I say especially now that the evidence is gone.)