#but also they absolutely do not seem like high school freshman and I just cannot get over it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

axesilly · 8 months ago

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i cant afford therapy so im going to talk about my troubles on here because i dont know what else to do 👍 i dont know if this will reach anyone but it might make me feel better. sorry if its a bit lengthy, ive had these feelings for a while

for the sake of anonymity and my own safety i will not be mentioning any names of people, towns, or schools :]

so im in college, im an art major. im from a small town with nothing to do except go to a mall the next town over and im going to college in another small town 5 hours away from home. this small town also has jack shit to do unless you drive 45 minute to an hour away. im currently in my spring semester of my freshman year and i have gotten so absolutely mentally and physically drained since i got a fast food job. i got a job making pizzas at yknow one of those big chain corporations pizza places, and the store i work at has only been open a few months. its absolutely chaotic and no one knows how to do anything except a few select people. my boss, the general manager, also doesnt know how to do anything because its his first time doing something like this. one of the other managers also only works there because hes friends with the general manager and he is not the greatest person, as he tends to sexually harrass the staff including a friend i made there. now ive already put in my two weeks last saturday, but that doesnt take away from how drained this job has made me.

Since the spring semester started ive been constantly piled with work (one week i was scheduled 6 days in a row when i had a big project to work on, i had a breakdown at work to my general manager), writing assignments, and project after project. (not even kidding my drawing professor gives us a new project the same day we turn one in) in my senior year of high school i loved fine arts and i believed that i wanted to follow in my art teachers footsteps and pursue my love of art and make art for my career. and while i do still love fine arts and making art, i just cannot do this constantly. since just before my spring break i started not going to my classes as consistently and i swore to myself i would start going again after the break. well that break just made it worse it seems because everything has just gone more and more downhill. i have still been missing classes because some days its difficult to get out of bed and i do not have the motivation to go to class just to sit there and not be able to pay attention for an hour/hour and a half. im behind on a project for one of my classes because i havent gone since ive been back from spring break (two weeks). i have an exam for one of my classes soon and im not even close to prepared. i had a 3 page essay due last night i started but havent finished (luckily i can turn it in a little late). it may sound lazy but these are my real struggles with my mental health. i feel trapped here. i do have a license and a car, i do have transportation so i can go places, but its such an old car it has so many problems (one which has arisen recently being if i stop somewhere and turn my car off, it wont crank back up immediately and i have to wait 10-15 minutes, and once it is on i have to revv it to make sure it stays on). so because of car problems and currently living in a small town im frustrated because it feels like i cant go anywhere to do anything fun. i feel trapped in my dorm and in my mind.

now comes the college problem. the college i go to currently is a nice school, i get 8 meals a week on my meal plan included in my tuition. theres several places to choose from the eat at, theres a gym, free health exams i think. but its driving me insane seeing the same old brick buildings every damn day. i currently dont have a roommate so im in a dorm by myself which probably contributes to this feeling of lonliness. i dont really have many friends, i had more last semester but they did not keep in touch. i do have one friend that i appreciate very much and she always worries and wants to help when she sees im upset. shes a real one. but seeing the same things, learning about the same repetitive lessons every single day, has driven me insane. my art history class has been the same topics since the start of the semester, its all been about works of art pertaining to jesus, and mary, and god and the angel telling mary shes pregnant and marys purity and this symbolizing that and i understand why its important to learn about these works of art and how they have shaped art today, but i cannot stand hearing the same things over and over. im not a christian, and i dont believe theres anything wrong with christianity as long as youre not hurting anyone with your beliefs, but these topics are so repetitive ever class i have. the semesters almost over and we havent even gotten to modern art yet, and in my opinion thats what truly matters to learn about because thats what we as artists would need to look at to have a reference for how we should make our art right? art is about expressing yourself and we need to see how others making art in the modern era are expressing themselves as well. and on the topic of expressing ourselves, my drawing class, every single project, my professor has us stick to such strict criteria. one of my projects my professor actually really liked, i liked, but she took points off because i had my girlfriends name written very small where you could barely even see, because we were not supposed to have any text. i feel like i cannot even be creative and truly express myself with these projects. i dont feel like i have any real freedom with them. i love fine arts and i love making art, but not when its like this. i want to be able to make my own art that actually expresses my feelings, not someone elses criteria. because of all of this my grades have been rapidly dropping.

now i have already made the decision weeks ago that i will not be returning to this school in the next fall semester. i discussed this with my mom already as she does the majority of my paperwork and things for this stuff. she wants me to transfer to a college closer to home so i can atleast get a general studies degree. but thats not what i want to do either. she told me not to flunk my classes this semester because that will make it difficult to transfer me to another school, but how do you expect me to get good grades when i constantly feel like im in hell in my mind. i mentioned wanting to maybe take a gap year, she doesnt want me to do that. school is horrible for my mental health like this, i dont understand why society thinks we should just have everything we want to do with the rest of our life figured out immediately out of high school. well i dont. and i dont want to stay in college immediately out of high school. i want to go live my life! me and my girlfriend are long distance (we have met in person several times and shes actually coming to visit me this month, but just seeing each other for a week at a time is not enough) and i really want to go live with her! i want to enjoy living and living with the person i love more than life itself! i currently dont feel like i can do that here or back home. i want to move somewhere else with my girlfriend so we can both be happy and love life. i want to move out of state to a slightly bigger city, nothing crazy like new york or atlanta, but just somewhere bigger than a small town with nothing to do whatsoever. i do have a place in mind but im not going to say where. and when i move, after a year i can qualify for in state tuition and pursue something that makes me happier. ive always loved animals and marine animals so i was thinking i could major in zoology and marine biology and work at an aquarium or something while im working on my degree. and i dont fully know how the paperwork and things work for transferring and such, especially after a break, so i could be in the wrong, but is it really wrong for wanting the best for myself?

and to be honest with myself i know exactly why im in college and its not to get a degree. i was raised constantly being compared to my siblings. my brother is trans (which my parents are very obviously not too fond of) dropped out of college and joined the military. my sister dropped out of college after a semester, got married to a horrible man who she just recently divorced after having two children with him. and being compared to them all my life, especially to my brother, made me want to be better than them. i wanted to be the one, as the youngest, to be the first one to get through college immediately, all four years, no problem. but its just too much for me. and dropping out, moving away, im terrified. im terrified that my parents will be disappointed in me. im terrified of that face my mother makes, that tone of voice, when shes disappointed in me for something. im terrified of getting lectured and told why everything i want is wrong. its irrational. and im terified if i move away i wont have her support anymore. i wont have her to lean on when i need help with something. i was never taught where to go or how to do stuff for applying to colleges and transferring. i barely know how to do my taxes.

now i really dont know what this article-like rant of a tumblr post is gonna do. i know i dont really have a following and i dont really post on here. but i just thought itd make me feel better to collect my thoughts and put them all together like this. so far the only people concerned about me have been my girlfriend and a couple of my friends ive told about these problems. not even my professors are concerned about me, i havent even gotten a single email or question about how im doing. they say theyre all for mental health but when a student stops coming to class as often suddenly and starts failing or not turning in assignments its none of their business and i must just be getting lazy and im a horrible student yknow? anyways i think thats about it for this. again i dont really know what this will do but i hope someone has advice or support or something. im going insane here.

love to anyone else suffering similar struggles <3

#college #mental health

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arsenicpanda · 3 years ago

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Can you please share a snippet from Angsty Byghead Reunion ?

So like, the premise of this fic is that Jughead and Betty, still broken up and also living way better lives than canon gave them (and there's a chunk of this fic that's dedicated to how they've each rebuilt things post-cheating and post-high school), independently get completely trashed on what would have been their ten year anniversary and sleep with someone who looks like the other because angst, except surprise! They actually slept with each other, and they wake up and think they're dreaming and have a very honest talk and bone and go back to sleep, and then they wake up again and realize, "ohhhh, shit, what did I do?"

So, like, I'm gonna give you a snippet from each section below the cut:

Jughead's life:

Six months into his life in New York and the week of his first book’s publication, he runs into Veronica at one of the many networking parties his publisher makes him attend.

Stuffed into a suit and picking off canape after canape, he finds her avoiding everyone by the bar. A stilted, obligatory conversation of how are you’s and oh, it’s been so long’s morphs into a conversation of (or rather a debate about) classic cinema, the merits and failures of Hitchcock, and whether Breakfast at Tiffany’s is better than In Cold Blood.

“You cannot deny the misogyny in Hitchcock’s films, Torombolo.”

“I’m not; it’s an obvious flaw in his work. But you can’t deny the craft and the influence of his work either.”

“I said no such thing--”

“You implied--”

“I absolutely--”

By the end of the night, they exchange contact information neither had deleted from their phones. Slowly but surely, Veronica is drawn into his life and his friends, dropping bon mots and dragging them to spa days and complaining about her family, her family’s business, her husband—until she leaves them all one crisp winter morning to focus on herself, her business, her friends. They celebrate all weekend, with drinks, brunches, movies, and a trip to the fanciest multi-gender strip club in town.

Betty's life:

Her years at Yale seem happy, filled with friends and, eventually, what seems like a boyfriend, a blonde man who kisses her cheek. The tag on the picture leads him to a guy named Adam, who has picture after picture of Betty on his feed for about a year before they abruptly stop in March of their senior year.

(Not that Jughead checks often, just once or twice.)

After Adam, there’s one woman, Nancy Woods, he thinks, who makes a six month appearance with occasional kisses, but, after that, no one appears who looks like a romantic partner. Still, Jughead’s sure Betty has one and is just keeping them quiet. After all, she’s Betty; who wouldn’t want to date her?

Cheryl makes a few appearances during what must be breaks, often with the twins and just as dramatic always. Cheryl doesn’t have much in the way of pictures of Betty on her feed, mostly just glamorous shots of beautiful women, maple trees, and the yearly tribute to Jason.

But the one constant through all the years is, of all people, Ethel Muggs. She first appears at the beginning of freshman year at Yale, and she is a constant, smiling feature all the way through the present day. How it happens, Jughead doesn’t know, but he’s glad Betty has a friend through it all.

Totes a dream:

Jughead wakes up to the smell of vanilla and soap, to the smell of Betty, and the feeling of someone in his arms who fits into him just right for the first time in seven years. Well, his mind tries to tell him he wakes up, but Jughead knows he must be dreaming. He’s had these dreams before, after all, dreams of Betty and a life together. He should try to wake up, he knows he should, but...he doesn’t want to.

He pulls her closer, buries his nose in her hair; he wants to be closer, as close as he can get. She lets out a little Mmm sound that he remembers from so many early mornings with Betty, and he can’t stop himself from holding her tighter and breathing out, “Betts.”

“Jug?” he hears back, and his heart stops because yes, that’s it, that’s her; her voice is a little deeper than he remembers, but it’s her. His dreams have never been this good at recapturing every little detail of her. No, he normally dreams of memories--playful mornings, exciting investigations, heated nights--but this is different, this is new, quiet and soft and a little sad, but he’s not going to question it.

Wuh-oh, that's real:

Fuck, what does he say? What does he say to this wonderful woman who he let go, who he drifted away from because he was scared?

“I--,” love you, miss you, want you to tell me you weren’t lying in the dream that wasn’t a dream, “--Hi,” he chokes out, instantly berating himself. Seven years of suppressed longing, and that is the best he can do when reuniting with the love of his life?

“Hi,” she returns softly, leaning against her dresser and biting her lip, and, oh, how he wants to free that lip, run his thumb over it gently, only for her to bite him back.

“You,” are still more beautiful than anyone or anything I have ever or will ever see, “look good.”

“You too.”

What is wrong with him? Mere hours ago he was holding her, comforting her, confessing to her, bearing his soul to her, with her, reveling in those early hours of dawn like he had when they were eighteen.

The whole thing is very fragmented, and idk when I'd finish it, but I'm fond of it, very fond of it, especially making Jughead and Betty both bi (it's less obvious in the Jughead snippet I included here, but explicit in another part of the story) because that's important to me. Also, the ANGST, so much angst.

#asks #literarygetaway21 #Riverdale #bughead #fanfiction

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alarriefantasy · 4 years ago

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Hi, all! So it seems that the wonderful AO3 user - objectlesson - aka on tumblr as - horsegirlharry - has sadly deleted their fics. I have only a few saved in my files, but there are some I would really love to possess, if anyone has them? I would really appreciate it if you would message me and let me know! :)

Also, I am posting the whole list of amazing stories they shared for our fandom, and I am marking (with an asterisk*) the ones that I have myself, in case anyone else would like them too! <3

Silver White Winters

by objectlesson

In which Louis catches a cloud and pins it down.

Words: 5106, Chapters: 2/2, Language: English

I Must Confess (I Still Believe)

by objectlesson

Louis shrugs, eyes on the road. “You look cute in the blazer, too,” she says nonchalantly, and what the fucking fuck, what is Harry supposed to think?

“You probably do, too, but I wouldn’t know because I don’t even think you own one? Do you ever actually wear the entire uniform?” she asks, deflecting.

“Not since freshman year!” Louis boasts proudly. “They stopped giving me demerits because it’s, like, a lost cause. I literally haven’t seen my blazer in three years, I just borrow Veronica’s when I walk into Mass.” Her grin is very cheeky and bright, and she’s squinting in the sun, aviators pushed up into the overgrown auburn shag of her hair. The horizon is hazy and pink-orange as dark sneaks up on them, the air smelling of sprinkler water and BBQ smoke from people leaching the last warmth of October before summer’s gone for good. Harry feels alive with possibility, eyes watering as she smiles at Louis, unable to stop. She wrinkles her nose like it’ll somehow hide the way it looks on her face to be in love.

Or, Harry is the new girl at an all girl Catholic Girl’s School, and Louis is the unattainable, dashing senior who changes her forever.

Words: 44304, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Powerless (and I Don’t Care It’s Obvious)

by objectlesson

“Oh no, Lou, don’t make me laugh,” he whimpers. His Ribena-purple mouth twists into a glorious, breakable shape, and Louis’s heart stops. He should not be getting turned on by Harry’s full-bladder discomfort, his little twitches, his hips-stuttering. And yet.

Words: 4090, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

The Pink Ghost of Princess Park

by objectlesson

The thought of the vibrator does not go away. It’s sitting there collecting dust all through January, and every time Harry and Louis have to leave town for a press event or a show or to record or what have you, they come back home, and it’s still there, the Pink Ghost of Princess Park, the fucking glittery haunting that Harry cannot stop thinking of Louis stuffing up his arse.

Words: 7556, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

*Life Saver

by objectlesson

Nerd Boy’s giant, dorky, adorable hand shoots into the air. Louis notices he has chipped red polish on a few of his nails and some tattered friendship-looking bracelets, like the sort you make in camp, and he might hear the distant chime of wedding bells. He thought he didn’t even believe in marriage because it’s, like, oppressive and heteronormative or whatever, but that was before Styles, Harry (Harry Styles!!! What an absurd, wonderful name! What a perfect thing to scrawl in the margins of all his notebooks surrounded in hearts!) appeared in the bio lab at his new school and ruined all his principles forever.

or, Louis is a sweetheart punk with a theater background and a heart of gold, Harry is an inexperienced nerd who plays by the rules. Classmates, lab partners, and eventually friends, what happens when Louis knows he’s in love, but doesn’t know how tell Harry?

Words: 14809, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Even Your Honey Dew

by objectlesson

It probably says something about Harry that he’s so obsessed with another omega’s arse.

Words: 9512, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

What a Heavenly Way To Die

by objectlesson

She’s thought about it a lot, and two big things seem to be holding her back, aside from the uncontrollable paralysis that overtakes her body every time she so much as tries to sneak a hand under the waistband of Harry’s knickers.

Or, Louis is afraid to do stuff to Harry, who has done a lot of stuff to her.

Words: 8052, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

A Firm Believer and a Warm Receiver

by objectlesson

a few months ago, Louis had his first heat. It was no big deal, aside from it being awkward and weird and all the other things it was supposed to be. He figured he would present as an omega, so he wasn’t exactly surprised or anything.

But then, last week, Harry had his first heat, too.

Or, the omega/omega sleepover fic no one asked for but y'all really, really need.

Words: 10895, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

You’ll Know What Makes The World Turn

by objectlesson

Sometimes, when things are messy and they have more than a few weeks apart, they need the reminder. It’s comforting to have stars to map your course by.

or, Harry’s blue bandana is a day collar.

Words: 4624, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Sing You Butterflies

by objectlesson

Louis stares for a moment before some primal sympathetic force in him activates. He has to help this boy. He can hardly walk, and he seems so young (yet ageless, beyond age, like a sea turtle or a parrot or a tree or something else odd and magical), and on top of all that, he has body glitter clinging to his skin, like that roll-on stuff his sisters used to use as preteens, only pink-gold and twice as thick. It’s, like, professional grade. He’s also wearing grass- and dirt-stained pink silk women’s underwear, so maybe he’s from London. Maybe he’s a drag queen who crawled all the way from a nightclub in Soho just to save Louis from his horribly mundane and woefully heterosexual neighbours out here in the middle of nowhere.

or, Harry’s a clumsy unicorn who accidentally stomps on a witch’s garden and is turned into a human as punishment, so he wanders into a nearby village covered in glitter, still figuring out how to walk on two feet, and meets the fairy-tale-fine Louis, who has to teach him how to live as a human and stop him from eating soap.

Words: 22701, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Holy

by objectlesson

She deserves not to be so goddamned put together all the time. Being in the world’s biggest and highest exposure girlband means she’s never seen without a flat stomach, a spray tan, contouring, eyelash extensions, the whole of her body inescapably toned and plucked and waxed so frequently she genuinely forgot what fucking color her own pubes are. Louis wants to eat burgers and smoke weed and be twenty three. She wants to wake up with Harry and spend the whole day in bed fingering each other because they finally don’t have to have goddamn acrylic nails for once. She wants to grow her pubes out. She wants to lounge around in a posh, red-velvet High Hefner robe.

Or, Louis is dressed like a fucking queen, Harry’s begging please.

Words: 6608, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Only One I Dream Of: A Drabble Collection

by objectlesson

A collection of all the m/m One Direction drabbles and timestamps I’ve written on tumblr, so my readers on here aren’t missing out!

Words: 5164, Chapters: 5/13, Language: English

Diamonds in the Moonlight

by objectlesson

The 70s au where Harry is a rich girl stuck in the suburbs who thinks she loves Shaun Cassidy, and Louis is the skater who breaks into her backyard and changes everything forever.

Words: 16136, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

In the Heat of the Night

by objectlesson

“You’re sleeping with me, obviously,” Harry says then, pausing to regard Louis with a funny expression, nose wrinkled and brows drawn tight. “Don’t tell me you thought that I’d let you freeze out here!? Absolutely not! C’mon, the bedroom’s cozy, I dragged a space heater out.”

Louis wants to protest about as badly as she wants to sleep next to Harry Styles, which is a lot. Too much.

Or, Louis is the only butch in London with a truck and Harry needs to move a couch.

Words: 7726, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Once Upon a Dream

by objectlesson

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis.

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Words: 16643, Chapters: ½, Language: English

From Now Until Forever

by objectlesson

The girls go to Britney Nite and Louis wears Juicy track pants and Harry is not ok.

Niall takes the pint glass back from Harry and takes a swig, regarding her over the rim knowingly. “You’re nervous,” she observes with a grin. “Because you’re gonna get drunk at a gay bar with Louis, and you haven’t told her yet that you wanna marry her.”

“Oh, my god, stop,” Harry scolds, hiding her face in her hands, everything suddenly hot and shivery. “It’s not that,” she adds, even though it most definitely is.

“Then…you’re excited to see Louis in a schoolgirl skirt and bra? Covered in that body glitter that smells like cotton candy?” Niall presses, waggling her eyebrows, making Harry blush at the mere thought of Louis’s golden skin shimmering and sticky under club lights.

Words: 9223, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Hello, Heaven (you are tunnel-lined with yellow lights

by objectlesson

“Oh, yeah?” Harry asks, playing dumb as he helps Louis out of his coat before hanging it up. “A new phone charger? Mine’s still broken, the electrical tape didn’t work.”

Louis makes a face at him, all arched brows and tongue pressed into cheek. “Oh a phone charger? Is that what you need?” he quips lightly, voice high and lilting in this sing-song way that’s so, so high and gentle that it’s scary. He’s putting on a show for Harry, and Harry’s thrilled with it, already shivery and hot-cheeked because Louis got him something naughty, and they’re talking about it without really talking about it, wrapping it up in layers of mundanity and domesticity, still so excited to play the role of two Adults living in their new Adult flat in London that they bought with their own money from the X Factor. Harry’s living an unimaginably glamourous life so suddenly, and Louis and his gifts are right in the middle of it, the heart of his every dream.

Or, Louis buys Harry things sometimes.

Words: 2988, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Dream About That Casual Touch

by objectlesson

And that was the first thing Louis noticed about her. Not her nipples, or not only her nipples, anyway, but the fact that she was so confident with her body and didn’t seem to care that her tits were sort of soft and floppy and uneven or that she had a little roll of pudge around her hips that poked over the top of her jeans when she wore crop tops. She wore what she wanted to wear whether or not it was in fashion or technically even flattering; her hair was always messy, she only wore makeup half the time, and she seemed to like heeled boots even if she was already fairly tall and they made her tower over the boys. Louis always thought it was so fucking sexy how unconcerned Harry seemed with what people thought of her, how comfortable she was in her own skin. That by itself seemed like a sort-of gay thing, so Louis kept a remote, careful eye on her, hoping to one day see something else that blipped her radar.

Or, Louis and Harry fuck up two dates before they finally get it right.

Words: 7678, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

*Smoke Dreams from Smoke Rings

by objectlesson

“When I get a craving?” Louis says, “You have to help me chase it away. Distract me”

Oh. Harry can think of about one hundred different ways to distract Louis Tomlinson. One hundred better uses for his mouth, for example. “Erm,” he squeaks, well aware of the fact that he’s grinning and dimpling and blushing all at once, his whole face a suddenly mortifying warzone of transparent emotion. “How?”

“By hitting my arm as hard as you can,” Louis announces, holding out the arm in question. It bridges the gap between them, stiff and expectant, and Harry stares, not entirely sure if Louis’s being serious, if this is some prank that he isn’t clever enough to understand, or if the promise of touching Louis under any circumstances is so titillating that he just can’t process it. Louis rolls up the sleeve of his hoodie then, revealing his pale inner arm in maddening increments, pushing Harry somewhere between drooling and vomiting, he isn’t sure which. He just knows that his mouth is flooded, and the barely-there ghost of Louis’s veins through his skin is the prettiest thing that he’s ever seen. “Go on, hit me,” Louis orders. “Don’t be shy,”

or, Louis enlists Harry to help him with his bad habit.

Words: 18116, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Black Stars and Endless Seas

by objectlesson

Or, A Star Trek Original Series AU where Lt. Styles is a young science officer on his first away mission, and Louis is the headstrong ensign assigned to his security detail, and maybe they would be able to function together professionally in a normal setting, but not when their shuttlecraft crash-lands and they end up marooned together on an improbably and unfairly beautiful planet.

Words: 32246, Chapters: 3/3, Language: English

Rose Garden Dreams

by objectlesson

Harry thinks it’s a fever-induced delirium, at first. After all, she’s been sick in bed for a full forty-eight hours following the Best and Most Important beach trip of her entire life because fate is a cruel and jealous bitch who doesn’t want Harry to go on a date with the girl of her dreams.

or, Harry is sick and Louis comes to visit her.

Words: 9464, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Palms Reflecting in Your Eyes

by objectlesson

Harry visits Louis at his campus and finds a crop on the wall.

Words: 6496, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Wrap You Up in Daisy Chains

by objectlesson

Ten minutes later, an awkward, long-legged, curly-haired, so pale she’s reflective, and so obviously gay-looking Harry Styles is sitting shotgun next to Louis in a bikini, denim cut-offs, and heart-framed sunnies.

Or, Harry and Louis and a too-small bathing suit.

Words: 10613, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

To Keep the Night From Ending

by objectlesson

It doesn’t always feel real to kiss in the dark, Harry guesses. He wants it to feel real. He wants it to be the realest thing, burnt indelibly into his skin.

Or, Harry and Louis take a night swim.

Words: 5036, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Good Enough to Eat

by objectlesson

“Fuck,” Harry mumbles, shuffling. “You won’t give me shit for it? It’s sorta weird.”

“No,” Louis breathes. “Promise.”

“Okay. I just…fuck, I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Harry whimpers, and he must be blushing because Louis can feel waves of heat coming off him, his embarrassment a hot, palpable thing. “So, like…I love rimming videos. Nothing makes me come harder,” he admits, covering his face with his hands so his voice comes out muffled and strangled.

It takes Louis a few seconds to process, to mentally rifle through his Pornhub search history and remember what rimming even is; Harry has him so stupid he can’t keep stuff straight. His ears ring, and then it hits him, and, oh, fuck. His stomach turns and tightens so quickly he’s gasping, an audible and shameful scrape of air in the dark. “You…really?” he chokes out.

Or, Harry is convinced he’s never gonna be able to try his favorite porn fantasy on a real boy, and Louis offers to remedy this.

Words: 6722, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Grenadine Sunshine

by objectlesson

Harry’s only sixteen, it shows right now, and Louis wants…he wants so many things. He wants to taste the faint, sugary ghost of lip gloss, he wants to cup Harry’s face between his palms and swipe the shimmery wet shadows from beneath his eyes. He wants to show him everything he knows, even though he doesn’t know anything about this, about kissing boys or flirting with them or doing their makeup or even showing them it’s okay to want to wear makeup in the first place. Still, Louis just wants, wants and wants and wants. It’s what Harry does to him.

Words: 18067, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Only Angel

by objectlesson

Louis pops his hip out, looking down at Harry from beneath the cut of his fringe sassily. “How do I look?”

Harry…Harry doesn’t have words, not really. He sits there on the floor with a half-hard cock, gazing up at this taller, scarier version of Louis with wide eyes. “Like I want you to spin-kick me in the face,” he admits after a moment, shakily inhaling. “You look…really good.”

Or, Louis finds a pair of heels that fit, and Harry wants to be ruined, as per usual.

Words: 6599, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Someone Who Knows How To Ride

by objectlesson

Harry gives Louis a lap dance. Or, at least, he tries to.

Words: 5114, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Copper Kiss

by objectlesson

Harry’s not allowed to fly back to the UK without marks to remember Louis by.

Words: 4604, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

You Drive Me Crazy ( I Just Can’t Sleep)

by objectlesson

The first time Louis ends up in Harry’s bed is a total accident.

Words: 18520, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Christmas Without You

by objectlesson

It’s Christmas Eve and Harry misses Louis so badly he might be going little crazy.

Words: 5639, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Vinyl and Lace

by objectlesson

Harry tries on a skirt in the X Factor dressing room as a joke. Louis doesn’t think it’s very funny.

Words: 7541, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Touch of My Hand

by objectlesson

Words: 3104, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: One Direction (Band)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Additional Tags: Tour Bus Sex, Bus Sex, PWP, Up All Night Tour, Uan era, Canon Compliant, baby boyfriends in love, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Established Relationship

Born to Make You Happy

by objectlesson

Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend.

Words: 25662, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Taste of a Poison Paradise

by objectlesson

Louis notices Harry’s mouth right away.

Words: 9894, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

A Little Love (is better than none)

by objectlesson

It’s supposed to be no strings attached sex, but Harry’s in love with beauty and tragedy and Louis Tomlinson so there might actually a few strings they’re not talking about.

Or, alternately, the four times they fuck and don’t kiss, and one time they fuck and do (with a few more times thrown in because I’m a mess and know how to write short fics).

Words: 15074, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

*Take Me Under the Blue

by objectlesson

Louis hasn’t even seen his legs yet. He doesn’t know how they work or how long they’ll be. Maybe they won’t suit the rest of Harry at all, and he’ll have to grow into them or something. It doesn’t matter; Louis has loved Harry for a year with scales, so he can’t imagine wonky legs putting a damper on his attraction.

He supposes he’ll just have to find out. In the meantime, he wonders how the fuck he got here, in his squelching wellies about to save the love of his life from the sea and take him to bed and bang him for the very first time.

It’s sort of a long story.

Words: 19011, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

#deleted fics #objectlesson #horsegirlharry #larry fics #larry stylinson #larry fic rec

84 notes · View notes

givelove-always · 5 years ago

Text

I Love Him Not, I Love Him

A/N: Hi! This is my extremely late entry for @bucky-smiles’ 2K Bollywood Writing Challenge (I’m so sorry for the delay aahhh!)! My prompt was one of my fave songs, Subhanallah from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, so that’s what this fic is loosely based on! Also a big thank you to @parkerpetey for taking the time to edit this and leave hilarious comments throughout the Google doc, ilysm for that. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: The three times you didn’t accept that you were crushing on Peter, and the one time you did.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 7.3k words

Warnings: None, just tooth-rotting fluff and reader being frustrating :)

Something everyone talked about, yet nobody really talked about, was how being the new student in the school, especially given that it was your senior year, was ridiculously tough.

You had recently moved from Toronto to Queens, and you absolutely despised it. You’d spent three extremely long years at your old school creating a name for yourself, be it through your strong academic scores or your commitment to numerous extracurriculars. You weren’t exactly popular, but were definitely spoken of quite highly if you were brought up in conversation, regardless of whether it was teachers talking or your fellow students. You were on the perfect path to becoming valedictorian of your class.

… Until you were uprooted and brought here. Sure, your dad really pulled all the strings he could to help you secure a spot at Midtown, especially given that it was senior year - it’s hard enough as is to secure a spot in freshman year, what with it being insanely competitive and for genius students and all, and while your grades were stellar, it would’ve still been close to impossible securing a spot - and you really appreciated it, but that didn’t mean that you still didn’t miss your school and your friends back in Toronto.

It felt like everyone was talking about you - who was the new girl? how did she manage to get a spot three years after everyone else? was she genuinely smart, or was there some other way she got in? - but at the same time, it felt like you were invisible. People wanted to know more about the circumstances surrounding you than know more about you as a person.

With every day that you went to school and came back home after unsuccessful attempts at restarting your social life and making friends, your morale was deflating. As much as you tried to push it aside, the pang in your chest was becoming more and more undeniable when you constantly saw people surrounded by their friends, laughing and chatting, while you sat to the side all by yourself.

Even then, it was all bearable. Just one year here, and then you could go make friends in university, where life would practically be a clean slate - a fresh start for everyone. Who knows, maybe you could even go back to Canada to a university where some of your old high school friends would be attending. You kept telling yourself that everything would work itself out, and if it had to be after a year of loneliness, then so be it.

The only thing that still felt terrible were the daily walks to and from school all alone. Back in Toronto, you and your best friend would always text each other in the morning to try and coordinate the time that you’d leave so that you could walk together, chatting each other’s ears off the entire way there. If you had time in the morning, you’d often even stop by the Tim Hortons on the way and get yourselves a little breakfast.

Here in Queens, there were tons of cute little cafés and little convenience stores and such on your way to school, and while you would still often stop by to pick up a quick snack or drink (or even just to say a quick hello to Mr. Delmar, the kind man who owned the little sandwich shop around the corner, and pet his adorable little cat), it never was the same as going with a friend. That constant loneliness started to change though when one day, you left home and arrived at Mr. Delmar’s shop earlier than usual.

one

It had been a long night with very minimal sleep. You were up working on a Physics assignment until almost five in the morning and you knew that if you slept then, you wouldn’t wake up in time for your morning classes. The extremely prominent bags under your eyes stood as proof of your exhaustion and you had no energy to make yourself breakfast, hence your early arrival at Delmar’s.

You sat at a little table by the window observing the street outside. Most people look at the way others are dressed outside as an indication of the weather. You, on the other hand, liked to think of it as more of a personification of the weather. If the chilly November weather were to be a person, they would definitely be one of those speedy walkers roaming the streets in some fuzzy boots and a trench coat.

As you sipped on your hot chocolate and tried to assign a more rounded personality to the November weather for no reason other than trying to wake yourself up, the sound of the bells chiming as someone entered the store caught your attention.

Peter Parker.

He was that really smart kid in your Physics class - the one subject you were struggling in. You knew him from that one time you guys were paired up for a quick chemistry lab, but you didn’t know him know him. You remembered vividly and appreciated how nice he was the whole time - it was difficult to find that over the last few months. Either that, or you just somehow managed to keep getting paired up with the wrong people.

You realized you were staring at him when you saw him facing and waving in your direction.

That was unusual, nobody ever really seemed to acknowledge you.

You turned to see if there was someone behind you he might have been trying to talk to, but very quickly realized that you were seated in the corner when your eyes were met with nothing but the plain white wall. ‘Stupid move,’ you told yourself. ‘How do you just forget that you’re sitting next to a wall?’

Grimacing a little, you turned back to face him and waved at him. You gave him a small smile, which he very politely returned before he went up to place his order.

‘Great, you can’t even greet a person normally. What is wrong with you Y/n? This is why people aren’t trying to befriend you right now, if-’

“Hey, do you mind if I sit down here?” a slightly timid voice interrupted. Your eyes locked with Peter’s as your head shot up.

“Oh! Um, yeah- I mean, no! I mean, no, I don’t mind, go ahead!” you stuttered, feeling all the blood rush to your cheeks.

Peter let out the softest giggle you have ever heard as he sat down, and if you didn’t have such sharp hearing, you were sure you would have missed it.

“How are you? How are things going?” he asked as he set his sandwich onto the table.

“Oh, well, they’re going,” you smiled and shrugged. “This point in the semester’s always a little crazy, but it’s not the worst. How are you doing?”

“Yeah, it does get hectic around this time,” Peter sympathized, scrunching his nose slightly in an effort to show mutual distaste over the stress. “I’m not too bad, just really tired from working on that physics assignment. How’d you find that?”

“Oh my gosh, don’t ask,” you groaned, rolling your head before laying it smack against the table. “I literally cannot physics, it took me forever to complete it, and I’m still not confident about a solid chunk of it.”

Peter let out a laugh at your reaction, the sound falling like music onto your ears. You discreetly peeked up from your position on the table to look at his undoubtedly glowing face, and the image you were met with was nothing short of beautiful. His eyes were scrunched up and his perfect teeth were on full display, cheeks turning redder by the second. The sunlight falling on his brown curls gave them a softer hue and made them look even softer than you’d already imagined them to be. Nobody had ever looked this angelic.

It was a sight you wouldn’t mind getting used to.

‘Wait, what? Why did you just think that? Y/n you barely even know the guy, stop being creepy!’

You pulled yourself out of the trance and slowly sat back up, giggling lightly to avoid making it obvious that you had just been staring - that would be awkward to explain.

“I’m sure you did just fine,” Peter chuckled. “And if anything, physics isn’t my worst subject, so um, if you want, I’d be more than happy to help.”

“That’s very sweet, thank you Peter, I appreciate that more than you realize,” you smiled, picking up your backpack. “I hate to cut this conversation short, but we need to start heading to school soon if we want to get to class on time.”

“It doesn’t have to be cut short!” Peter said abruptly standing up, catching you off-guard a little. “I-I mean, we could walk together if you’d like? No pressure though, it’s totally cool if you don’t-”

“Of course, I’d love that,” you cut him off with a smile.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” you nodded. “Let’s head out?”

“Yeah, just hold on one quick second,” he said as he quickly rushed over to the front of the shop.

Eyebrows furrowed, you followed him, only for your expression to instantly morph into one of awe as you were met with Peter petting Murph, Mr. Delmar’s cat, before he jogged back to where you were standing, a goofy smile adorning his face. “I’m ready now.”

Saying a quick goodbye to Mr. Delmar, the two of you made your way out. You shivered a little as the icy wind hit you. Peter picked up on the way you tried to discreetly rub your hands together, your outfit not doing nearly enough to cope with the sudden sharpness of the atmosphere, but stayed quiet, not knowing if it was appropriate to say something or not.

“So you’re a cat person, eh?”

“I’d say so, yeah. I’m just as much of a dog person too, though. Murph trumps all other animals though - I’ve been seeing him since Mr. Delmar got him, and he’s so adorable,” Peter gushed. “What about you, a dog person or a cat person?”

“Oh, a hundred percent a dog person, though I would make an exception for Murph, he is pretty cute,” you chuckled. “My best friend back in Canada has the sweetest little puppy named Maple and I practically lived at her house for the sole purpose of playing with him. Her uncle would drop off his two poodles occasionally too when he was travelling, and there was no way to get me out of her house when all three puppies came together.”

“Maple? That’s the most Canadian thing I’ve ever heard, I love that!” Peter physically had to stop for a minute because he was bent over letting out what could only be described as a ‘hearty laugh’.

If it were anyone else, you would most certainly be offended - what was so funny about having a pet with a stereotypical Canadian name? - but Peter exuded an aura of kindness and innocence, and despite only having spoken to him for such a short period of time, you knew his intentions were nothing but pure. Also, you had to admit, it was a little comedic how stereotypical the name was.

“Anyway, speaking of Canada,” he spoke through light chuckles once he’d calmed down a little and you both continued walking, “I don’t mean to be intrusive, and you definitely don’t have to answer if you’d rather not, but um, how come you transferred here senior year? Was it hard to get in? How did that work?”

“No no don’t worry, you’re not being intrusive at all, I don’t mind! Basically…” you started your not-so-entertaining story of how you ended up at Midtown, and no matter how many times you stopped yourself to apologize for how “boring” you were being, Peter assured you that you were anything but.

The long walk to school couldn’t have been long enough, because you were at your locker way too quick for your liking. And judging by the way Peter stayed with you as you grabbed your stuff and offered to walk you to class, he felt the same way.

You found yourself beginning to set your alarm for just a little while earlier than usual that day onwards, and morning walks together became more common as the month went on. Sure, you adored your sleep, but having a potential chance to run into Peter and walk to school with him again? It was worth it.

Despite having only briefly known him, there was a sense of comfort that you felt in his presence. He made you feel like you could share anything with him. Everytime he smiled, forget full-fledged laughed, you felt like maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay for you.

To top it all off, it didn’t hurt that he was more than easy on the eyes. Those gorgeous eyes and that cute button-nose, not to mention his beautiful brown curls? You wouldn’t mind signing up for that one bit.

‘Y/n, stop. No. He’s just your friend. He’s just being nice, and you’re just happy you have a friend. You do not see him in that way - there is no chance of anything along those lines happening. You just haven’t had much interaction with people and now you’re playing up a friendship because you have nothing better to do. You do not like him.’

You reminded yourself that every time you caught yourself looking at him for even a moment more than what would be acceptable when you conversed. Peter was a great guy, but you guys were just friends, and you intended on keeping your feelings about him that way.

Besides, the reason you were down to lose some sleep wasn’t just being able to walk into school with Peter. You always had a problem with getting to school just in time to catch the bell, and this gave you an excuse to be more timely.

That’s all it was. A friendship and a way to be more punctual. Not anything more than that.

***** two

“Peter,” you clutched your stomach, loud laughter escaping you, “I’m literally going to pee myself!”

“Y/n, stop entertaining him or he won’t stop making those terrible jokes,” Ned groaned.

Peter had introduced you to his best friends Ned and MJ about three days into your friendship, once you’d gotten the remainder of your paperwork after your transfer completed and could finally sit with the rest of your classmates for lunch, and you’d all instantly clicked.

Here you were, two months later. Colourful lights shining all around you, the sound of squeals and laughter from a multitude of people constantly surrounding you, and a game to play every few steps you took - not to mention the numerous prizes waiting to be won.

Ned has suggested that the four of you go down to the arcade nearby to destress after the exhaustion of your end-of-semester exams, and you all had instantly agreed.

As much fun as you were having playing the different games and winning all those tickets with the people who had grown to be your closest friends, what was absolutely making your day was the way in which Peter would just not stop making hilarious puns and jokes.

“You’re just jealous you’re not as cool or as hot as me,” Peter playfully scoffed and made exaggerated hair-flip movements, grabbing your hand as he dragged a giggling you to the next game. “Come on Y/n, they’ll never know what it’s like to be iconic.”

“Woah Peter, what’s gotten into you today?”

“I’m just happy. I’m a happy boy. A happy boy who’s happy about being at this arcade with his wonderful friends because it’s a happy environment,” he glanced at you over his shoulder as he put in the tokens to play basketball.

You chuckled as you reached out to playfully pull his cheeks. “Well, happy boy, let’s win this thing and win it together. In case you didn’t know, my basketball skills are somewhat impeccable.”

“Y/n, you literally can’t walk five steps without tripping, it’s pretty hard to imagine you being any good at a sport that involves a lot of running,” he sassed.

“Ah, well that right there is the thing - I’m incapable of walking. When it comes to running, I’m a whole other ball game. Basketball game, to be more specific,” you spoke slowly, nodding your head wisely to emphasize your wisdom.

Peter let out a wheeze neither of you had expected, and it sent you both into a fit of laughter. When Ned and MJ made their way over to you a few seconds later, all they saw was the two of you clutching your stomachs, faces red and laughter escaping your throats as though you’d just rewatched another one of those ridiculous ‘5-Minute Crafts’ life hacks.

In the midst of the hysteria, as Peter went to slap his knee, he accidentally slammed the Start button on the game. The ever-so-jolly-yet-ominous-sounding countdown of the machine finally pulling you guys out of your bubble.

“Oh my gosh Peter stand up, it’s starting!” you exclaimed through giggles, smacking his arm repeatedly with the back of your hand to get his attention.

“Oof okay okay, let’s do this thing!” Peter rubbed his palms and cracked his neck, getting in a serious stance and grabbing the first basketball that came through the machine before tossing it straight into the hoop.

“My turn, my turn!” You shoved him with your hip playfully to make room for yourself and get a better angle to shoot.

Ned and MJ, who had been standing close behind and observing this all go down, just looked at each other, heads cocked to the side. Claps and cheers when the other one scored and purposeful bumps into each other every single time you switched, given you guys’ speed and surprising accuracy, were all they could see and hear.

“The two idiots… they really don’t see it, do they?” MJ questioned, looking between the both of you, genuinely puzzled.

Ned groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. “Dude, I swear I can and will cry right now if they don’t stop playing this ‘you’re just my best friend’ game, I’m so tired of it.”

“Are we gonna say anything to them to make them ‘fess up though?”

“Nah, I kinda wanna watch it play out, as much as it exasperates me,” Ned shrugged.

“Alright Petey boy, you wanna take this jackpot shot or do you want me to?” you looked over at him and asked. “No pressure buddy, but it is an extra five hundred tickets.”

“All yours, m’lady,” he curtly bowed, drawing a laugh from you.

You took your stance, legs slightly spread apart and knees bent just a little, preparing for the big shoot. You grabbed the final basketball, dribbled it on the ground twice, and tossed it, aiming straight for the hoop.

“She shoots,” Peter commentated, watching the ball leave your hands, “and… she scores!”

You let out a squeal and jumped straight into Peter’s arms, giving him the biggest hug you could possibly render. Peter caught you and spun you around, cheering and laughing all the while as the machine spewed out your tickets.

“Okay kids,” MJ called out, pulling you both out of your little moment of euphoria. “Chill for a second and pick up your tickets because I will gladly take them if you don’t want them.”

You chuckled her comment and separated from Peter before quickly walking up to grab the tickets. “Hey, Peter and I worked hard for these, back off,” you playfully pouted, hearing Peter chuckle from beside you.

“Okay okay,” Ned laughed. “MJ and I are done with our tokens, are you guys ready to call it a day and get the prizes too or..?”

“I’m ready to go, Y/n?” Peter asked.

“Yup, I’m done too, let’s go.”

You all made your way over to the corner of the arcade where you could total up your tickets and redeem them for prizes. Despite your constant refusal, Peter not only let you take the entirety of the tickets you both won from the basketball game instead of splitting them, but also gave you all the tickets he’d earned that day so that when combined with yours, you’d be able to get the adorable person-sized teddy bear you were planning on saving up for.

Ned decided to splurge on a number of small prizes, like the classic ginormous plastic sunglasses and little notepads, while MJ got herself a Rubik’s cube and a sticker that said “Caution: Falling Rocks”. Nobody knows why she picked that one in particular - she’d simply shrugged when Peter had asked her about it.

You felt bad that Peter didn’t end up getting anything, but he insisted he was totally cool with it. Something about “not having any more space for obscure things to stuff in my cupboards anyway.”

“Guys, I’m hungry,” you said, bringing the attention to you while you all headed out of the noisy arcade. “Let’s go grab a bite somewhere?”

“Ooh yes, I know this place that’s only like five minutes from here - Ned and I went there like last week. It’s-”

Thud.

Peter never really got to finish that sentence. He was walking backwards, trying to make eye contact with the three of you while relaying his expertise on the restaurants in the area, but the man-child had tripped over his own two feet and landed flat on the ground.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” you all rushed over to him.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” he assured you guys as he grabbed Ned’s hand and pulled himself up, dusting off his jeans.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you right then. “Hey Pete, what was that you said earlier about me not being able to walk five steps without tripping?”

“Hey, cut me some slack, okay. MJ’s sticker said ‘falling rocks’ and I was just testing the validity of that statement. Now, with experiential evidence, I can confirm that it is, in fact, false.”

You and Ned burst out laughing at what was probably Peter’s only good joke all afternoon. MJ rolled her eyes, but even she couldn’t stop the smile that took over her face.

You all started to head towards the restaurant Peter suggested, Ned leading the way.

“Hey Y/n?” Peter leaned over.

“Yes?”

“Did you lose an electron? Because you’re positively glowing.”

“Oy smarty-pants, make your own puns, don’t steal them from your t-shirt,” you chuckled, shaking your head. You increased your speed and walked up ahead to where Ned was walking to join him and, hopefully, prevent Peter from the bright red that overtook your features from that one little out-of-nowhere compliment.

You and Ned were joking around about the events of the day and how much fun everything was, and as much as you enjoyed Ned’s company, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander a little.

Why did Peter have such an effect on you? How was he able to make you feel so giddy - all he did was give you one punny compliment and you were blushing? How come this never happens with anybody else?

‘It’s because sometimes you just click with some people more than you do with others. Yeah, that’s what this is. That’s all it is. You just click with him slightly more than you do with the others, and so his compliment is just a little bit more meaningful in that sense,’ you rationalized.

That’s definitely all it was. A strong friendship. Not a crush - definitely not a crush.

***** three

It was the end of senior year, and you were finally in Europe for your long-awaited senior trip that the Midtown teachers had organized for your graduating class.

You’d managed to fall sick on the second day of the trip, but despite the absolute nightmare that all the nausea and headaches had been, it had luckily turned out to only be a 24-hour bug, and you’d been up and running, ready to explore the place by the next morning.

Ned and Peter shared a room while you and MJ shared another, and while the four of you would occasionally hang out in each other’s rooms when you weren’t already out and about, Peter had insisted on practically staying in your room when you were sick so he could take care of you.

You’d pushed them all out of the room to go out and have fun, or even just go sit in the other room so they wouldn’t accidentally contract whatever it was you had.

Peter, though, just would not listen - he kept taking MJ’s keycard and coming in to check up on you, making sure you were hydrated and had everything you needed. You’d woken up the morning after to a number of texts from Peter, scattered at different times throughout the night, telling you that he hoped you were feeling better and reminding you that you could call him if you needed anything, no matter how late or early it was.

You’d made it known to him the next time you saw him how much you appreciated him doing that, but also how you wished he’d have slept without worrying about you so much.

He’d only smiled in response.

Once you’d gotten better - which luckily was by the next afternoon - the four of you would spend time in one hotel room all evening. Watching movies together, having popcorn fights, or just talking, laughing and reminiscing about the year that had flown right by you.

During the day, you would all go out and explore whatever city you were in, making sure to cover all the general tourist attractions and getting tons and tons of pictures with and of each other. MJ had become your unspoken designated photographer, capturing breathtaking candids of you all whenever she got the chance.

Mr. Harrington had mandated that anybody who went out to explore or do something that wasn’t on the itinerary report back to the hotel by sunset so he could keep track of everyone, so you would always make it a point to be in your rooms by then.

Most people stayed out anyway, but not the four of you - you didn’t want to worry the poor man. He worked hard all year too, and he was kind enough to supervise this trip - the least you could all do was ensure that you weren’t burdening him with any added stress.

Occasionally, you would end up getting back to the hotel earlier than others in your group. Sometimes, MJ would want to wander by herself, and Ned would try to approach and converse with Betty, who he found really cute.

Times like that, you and Peter would be the only ones in your respective rooms. The very first time that happened, you both very quickly realized that if you were in that situation, boredom would usually follow very soon.

So the next time onwards, even if none of the others were there, you and Peter would just hang out together in one of your rooms. It didn’t really matter what you were doing - just being in each other’s presence made things fun.

It was guaranteed, though, that obscure things would always happen when it was just the two of you left unsupervised. One time, Ned walked into his and Peter’s shared room only to find you and Peter in the midst of a very soulful rendition of A Whole New World from Aladdin - complete with exaggerated dance moves and hairbrush-microphones. Another time, MJ returned from her walk to a nearby park to you and Peter indulged in a heated discussion about whether pop tarts should be considered a sandwich or ravioli.

The four of you would often stay up until odd hours talking about anything and everything. The later it got, the deeper your topics of conversation would get. They would go from sharing nostalgic memories from your childhoods to passionate conversations about how many pets one could get before they’d be considered too many.

One of those days, when you had a one hundred percent free day because the event on your itinerary got cancelled, MJ and Peter decided they wanted to go visit a museum. Ned brought up that he wanted to go shopping around the city instead, and since you were planning the same, the two of you went out together.

You and Ned decided to hop onto one of those red double-decker buses, because if you’re a tourist in London and don’t get on one of those buses even once, are you really a tourist in London? Since neither of you had anything specific you wanted to shop for or any specific place in mind, you decided to take a random bus and get off wherever you felt would be worth it.

After about fifteen minutes of looking around at the hustling streets, you finally passed through an area that seemed to be filled with a variety of stores, making it the perfect place for some obscure shopping.

You both walked around, entering random stores whenever something in the display caught your eyes and buying random articles of clothing. At one point, you found a really cool thrift store and decided to style each other - the results being surprisingly more wonderful than either of you had expected. You both did an impromptu ramp walk for each other, filling the trial rooms with the sounds of laughter and giggles.

As the evening started to set in and the gorgeous colours started to take over the blue sky, you decided that you should start heading back to the hotel soon. It wasn’t too far from where you were though, considering the fact that a quick fifteen-minute ride would get you back, so you two did have time to stop by one or two more stores quickly if you wanted to.

As you strolled around, looking at the displays to see if there was something you might like, a pretty off-white floral sundress caught your attention. “Ned, can we go in here? I want to try this dress on!” you said as you tapped him excitedly on his shoulder.

He agreed, and as soon as you found the dress and tried it on, you absolutely fell in love with it. It was just the right length for your preference, and fit your body just right. In fact, it would even go perfectly with the adorable cross-body bag you’d picked up earlier in the day. You didn’t have to think twice before heading to the cash register to buy it and officially make it yours.

“Today burned a hole in my pockets, but it was so much fun Y/n, thanks for coming with me,” Ned said as you both got seated on the bus.

“Hey, of course! I had so much fun too! It was so refreshing to, thank you for letting me try on eight thousand different things,” you grinned.

The two of you continued conversing and joking around as the bus slowed down at a stop to let passengers on and off.

“Man, as great as museums are, nothing beats the joy one gets from mindlessly shopping - those two definitely missed out on some hilarious jokes and the best fashion show of the century,” you chuckled, making a reference to your antics back at the thrift store.

Ned laughed, shaking his head.

You relaxed in your seats, just letting the feeling of the wind flowing through your hair encompass you. The slight coolness of the evening breeze was euphoric yet also grounding in a sense, and you wanted to let it consume you for as long as possible.

“Y/n, can I ask you a question?” Ned softly broke the silence.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“You like him, don’t you?” he smirked.

You turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Like who?”

“Come on, don’t act so oblivious,” Ned laughed. “Peter - you like him, right?”

“Uh, yeah, he’s one of my best friends, so I definitely do like him?” You were genuinely confused at this point.

“No Y/n, I mean like like. Like as in more than a friend,” he clarified.

You froze for a split second and the heat rushed quickly to your face for reasons unknown to you. Almost too quickly, you responded, “What? No! Why would you think that?”

Ned rubbed his face, groaning. “Y/n, why are you both so ridiculously oblivious?” He had no clue how both you and Peter, two people so hopelessly crushing on each other, couldn’t see it.

“Wait, what do you mean?” you questioned.

Ned couldn’t stop the knowing smirk that overtook his features at the quizzical look on your face. He wanted to see two of his best friends happy together, but he needed you both to figure out your feelings for each other because it would be unfair of him and MJ to try and get you both together before that happened.

In this moment though, the utter cluelessness in your eyes was absolutely comedic to him.

“Oh, would you look at that, it’s our stop!” he quickly picked up his bags and walked off the bus, leaving a very perplexed you to follow him.

You pestered him to explain what he meant by that the entire way up to your respective rooms, but he wouldn’t do anything but grin. Your split-second panic and silence, combined with the redness of your cheeks as soon as he’d asked you about Peter was confirmation enough for him. He’d lit the spark, the questioning, inside of you, and that was all he felt was appropriate for now. Now, you needed to let it grow into a full flame and come to terms with your feelings.

“Bye Y/n! I’ll see you in a little bit!” he waved at you as he quickly slipped behind his door.

You groaned, stomping back to your room. You tossed your bags to the side and flopped right onto the bed.

‘Why was Ned asking me that? What did he mean by saying Peter and I are ‘oblivious??’ And why did I panic? Is there a chance that I- No, don’t finish that thought. Y/n, Peter’s just your best friend - feelings involved make things messy. You know what though? You don’t have to worry about that, it’s fine, because you don’t have feelings for him anyway. It’s all good. You’re just best friends, it’s nothing more than that, for sure.’

You lay there, staring at the ceiling, and rationalizing whatever supposed “feelings” you had for Peter until you heard MJ swipe her keycard. In walked both Peter and MJ, and you watched as his eyes lit up as soon as he saw you.

You felt your lips curve upwards into a smile, and before you could even realize that your body was moving, you had both engulfed each other in a massive hug.

That was normal though, right? You would hug MJ right after that too - you always hugged your friends. That didn’t mean anything.

Ned was probably just fooling around. Yeah, that’s probably what it was. One of his extended pranks. That explanation made sense.

Either way, you know what your feelings for Peter are: platonic. Absolutely, positively not anything other than that.

***** one

The day you’d been dreading was finally here: the end of your senior trip.

You were in your hotel room, zipping up your suitcase and making sure you had packed all of your belongings.

“I guess this is it, huh?” you squeaked out.

Hotel rooms had become your home for the last almost two months. They were where you and three of the closest people in your life right now spent so much time together, laughing, crying, just enjoying each other’s presence. Now, you were being made to say goodbye to that, and it was too soon for your liking.

“It is, yeah,” MJ gave you a small smile. “Don’t be upset about it though, we’ll all still be together and go out all the time once we’re back.”

“I know, I just…” you sighed. “I just liked this whole ‘no-other-responsibilities-to-tend-to’ version of going out. Time really does fly when you’re having fun.”

MJ placed the last of her clothes in her suitcase and zipped it up. “Well, at least it was fun while it lasted, right?”

You nodded. It was fun while it lasted. Was it insanely tiring walking around every single day because there was always so much to do? One hundred percent. Was your sleep schedule messed up from staying up late hanging out with your friends and waking up early to go grab breakfast and get ready for the day? More than ever before. Would you trade the experience for anything else in the world? Absolutely not.

You did one final sweep of the room to make sure you’d grabbed everything you’d brought in. “Ready to go?” you asked as you placed your suitcase upright on the ground.

“Yup, let’s head downstairs before the bus leaves,” MJ chuckled, shaking her head. “I am so ready to sleep in my own bed again.”

You laughed and grabbed your keycards. MJ placed the remote back on the TV stand and wheeled her luggage out the door and you followed suit, pulling the door shut behind you. Once you double-checked that the door had been locked properly, the two of you headed down to the lobby, where you were supposed to meet the rest of your classmates.

Dropping the keycards off at the front desk, you made your way over to where you could see most of your cohort already gathered.

“Oh good, you’re both here,” Mr. Harrington checked your names off his list. “The only ones left now are Flash and Brad. They’d better come down soon, wouldn’t want to- ah! There they are!” he marched over to where the two boys were.

“Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen him look that relieved. Is it just me or did he get taller?” you heard a voice approaching you.

Peter.

There he was, walking towards you, wearing that blue checkered shirt that looked oh-so-good on him. Something about him today hit you differently. You couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was, but it was safe to say that you felt your heart skip a beat at how amazing he looked.

“As much as I hate to say it, I agree with you,” MJ joked. “Crazy what lifting some weight off your shoulders can do for you.”

“Crazy how quickly this whole trip is already over,” Ned spoke. “I don’t know if I’m ready to go home yet.”

“Oh hush, just last night you were on the phone telling Betty that you couldn’t wait to take her to the movies once we’re all back in Queens,” Peter quipped, effectively making Ned blush and all of you laugh.

The aura of the lobby was very mixed. On one hand, the atmosphere felt lively as people chatted with their friends about all the fun times they had over the last few weeks, about the constant highs they all felt. On the other hand, there was a certain longing in most people’s eyes, a willingness to hold on to this feeling for just a little longer.

It was a very bittersweet vibe, and very understandably so.

“Alright guys, um- hey, can I get your attention for just a minute please?” Mr. Harrington squeaked. He raised his arms up to try and grab everyone’s attention, and to his own surprise, it worked.

“So, basically, I just wanted to say thank you to every single one of you for attending this trip, and I hope that it was a great experience for you all. Our bus should be here shortly, but before we go, I was hoping to get one quick picture with the entire group, if that’s okay?” After confirming that nobody had an issue with it, he handed his camera over to one of the staff members from the reception desk, who quickly snapped a wonderful picture of you all.

He thanked her, and then went outside to check for the bus.

“Looks like there’s still some more time before we leave,” you stated, peeking out through the glass windows and noticing the absence of a bus.

“Judging by the way Mr. Harrington’s seeming frustrated, I’d say you’re probably right,” Peter chuckled. “Hey, let’s get some pictures of our own in the meantime, I still have some film left on my camera!”

You, Ned and MJ agreed, and Peter pulled out his camera from his carry-bag. You all took turns posing with each other, starting off with simple smiles, but progressively getting goofier and sillier until you’ve hit the point where you were just standing in the middle of the lobby recreating iconic memes, sending you all into fits of laughter.

“Okay, okay, enough of this,” Peter giggles, still coming down from moments ago when he was guffawing at your attempt to recreate that one young Cardi B picture. “Let’s get some group shots now.”

MJ quickly asked Yasmin, another one of your classmates, if she’d be okay with getting a few shots of them and explained to her how to work the camera.

You went to grab a sip of water and stood off to the side, letting the three have their moment. They’d been there for each other for four years, and while you were all close now, you’d only come into the picture recently. You wanted to let the squad - the original squad - get some pictures too, you’d been in enough with them already, it was okay.

Ned said something which you couldn’t hear, but it drew out undoubtedly heartfelt laughs from the other two. Eyes scrunched and faces radiating with nothing but joy, Yasmin saw this as a perfect moment to capture, and you saw her take what you were sure would have turned out to be an amazing candid.

Yasmin went to hand the camera back to MJ, but Peter quickly stopped her.

“Hold on one second please, would it be okay if you got just one last picture? With the whole group?”

She nodded, stepping back.

“Y/n! Why are you off to the side?” Peter rushed over to you, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Come on, we can’t take a full group photo without you in it!”

In that very moment, as Peter grabbed your hand and gently pulled you to where the rest of the group was standing, something in your mind clicked. You laughed as Peter abruptly stopped and you bumped into him, hearing the click of the camera go off. None of it seemed to matter though. All you could see was Peter smiling back down at you, the crinkles by his eyes more defined than ever, but also surprisingly more beautiful than ever.

You could sense the three people around you continuing to throw up more poses quickly, Yasmin capturing them, but the entire while, your eyes wouldn’t leave Peter’s grinning face, your mind slowly stopped registering anything other than the feeling of Peter’s arms around your shoulders. The pure warmth he radiated pulled you in further, and everything around you except his perfect smile blurred.

One thing became very clear in that moment of complete encapsulation though, despite it being a completely foreign feeling to you, as the same words played in your head, over and over.

‘Holy crap, I think I’m in love with my best friend.’

If only you knew, those were the exact same words racing through Peter’s mind.

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happi-tree · 4 years ago

Text

On The Style and Effectiveness of 1-A Hero Costumes - Part 2/5

Part 2 of this post!

NAVIGATION

Part 1 2 3 4 5

INGENIUM / IIDA TENYA

It’s armor time!!! Behold a man.

What I don’t like:

The costume seems too bulky for a Quirk and fighting style that optimize speed. And while it’s true that cars are pretty bulky but still go fast, it’s equally true that certain types of cars are designed to go faster. The current design reminds me most of a semi or a big SUV, but if the costume was more streamlined along the lines of racecars or sports cars, it would help take off the extra weight that the bulk provides, leaving Iida lighter and more streamlined - therefore, faster.

Some examples of slimmer armor include Go Go Tomago’s from Big Hero 6 and Jim Lake Jr.’s from Trollhunters. And while I get that his body type inherently lends itself to being tank-like, lightening up on the bulk would probably be great for him.

The exhaust pipes out of his back confuse me. They bring some car energy, which is entirely welcome, but they likely hinder balance and motion, which is bad. They leave him looking a little unbalanced, and since so much of his strength and his fighting ability focuses on his lower body, having excess superficial material protruding out of the sides like that doesn’t seem to lend him any favors. And even while it looks cool, it just seems like it would be uncomfortable? Especially since a lot of runners - Iida included - like having full range of their arms to help propel them forward. The pipes might get in the way of that.

Here’s what I like:

The overall aesthetic. I love how this look both makes sense with Iida’s Quirk and personality and plays with elements of his older brother’s costume. It simultaneously puts across some knightly vibes - which is genius, considering how chivalrous and rule-following Iida typically is - and also calls to mind Transformers and cars with the emphasis on the engines and some of the more mecha elements.

The support! Armor is such an easy way to protect yourself while also getting some serious style points. His most essential areas are covered - neck, chest, arms, and legs - which is especially important considering that Iida’s legs are integral to his Quirk and his fighting style. The helmet is also a really good choice, considering this boy is essentially a human car. He looks a bit intimidating wearing it, which is good for fighting Villains, I suppose. Class dad is protected.

And a misc. note:

You know how after Iida’s special Recipro Burst move, he has to wait awhile while his engines cool back down? I think it would be really neat if he implemented some cooling technology into his Hero suit (similarly to Todoroki’s temperature-regulating gear). Theoretically, if he could find something that worked a bit like coolant for his engines, he would have a much quicker reaction time - and speed is the main facet of his Quirk, so it would probably help a lot!

Overall: Very good at providing protection while having a bomb-ass aesthetic. Not quite so good at being built for speed.

I CANNOT STOP TWINKLING / AOYAMA YUUGA

On the other side of the armored spectrum… we have this kid!

What I don’t like:

*Edna Mode voice* NO CAPE! Why do I not like the cape? Capes can snag on stuff very easily and it would be an easy thing for Villains to target and use to unbalance Aoyama. Longer capes are especially susceptible to getting trapped under rubble, torn up, or covered in gunk from the environment (which is not the Look he seems to like). I feel like a shorter cape would get a similar message across while minimizing the potential dangers that a long cape poses. Of course, Aoyama can be trained via experience to utilize his costume effectively with the full-length cape, but when his life and the lives of others are on the line, I’d rather not take that chance.

The shades. I get that they’re iconic, but they’re taking rose colored glasses a bit too seriously. 110% will fall off his face and also messes with the princely Vibe the rest of his costume provides. I do like their Elton John energy, though.

Not a bad thing, but I just want to know how his belt works.

Here’s what I like:

The overall aesthetic. I love how the costume’s obvious “princely knight” vibe reflects so much of Aoyama’s character.

The support here is also really good! Working the belt into the theme of his costume so seamlessly is very innovative and I love that for him. Getting the knee pads and shoulder pauldrons to match his central laser both adds to the uniqueness of the outfit and also pushes that royalty theme since they look very similar to inset gems.

The color scheme. Purple, silver, gold, and black look very classy and regal together, and I appreciate how the royal purple ties back into the concept of European royalty, which is very in-character for this boy. His pantaloon-looking things??? Neato.

Overall: Eh, okay. Ditch the glasses and shorten the cape. Superb, you funky lil knight light.

CREATI / YAOYOROZU MOMO

Here we are! I’m finally taking a crack at one of the most highly debated hero costumes in the entire show, and like a good portion of people, I’m gonna be extremely salty about it. Yaomomo doesn’t deserve this - none of the girls deserve this. These are my thoughts:

What I don’t like:

The absolute lack of support. For any aspect of her. Nothing about this costume is protective (other than maybe the partial high collar). Her most vulnerable areas are exposed, and while it makes sense for easy Quirk usage, it does not make sense for a girl who’s fighting homicidal maniacs on the front lines. The most glaring area in need of support is obviously her chest, as nothing substantial is holding her bust in place. However, so much could be done to work with the benefits of Creation and against its weaknesses that is not being done in this costume. I’ve seen quite a few redesigns that include a sports bra with a front zip closure, which is worlds better. With the show being set in the future, having a slightly mechanized costume with the ability to retract certain pieces at the press of a button would be useful and likely doable considering Yuuei’s own Support department. Gloves would probably be a good idea to give Yaoyorozu a better grip on harder-to-handle Created objects, such as heavy metal machinery.

The over-sexualization is, obviously, disgusting. Nothing about this costume says “Hero.” What it does say, in-universe, is that someone had the absolute gall to approve and send this outfit to a 15-year-old girl about to be thrown headfirst into training for an extremely dangerous profession. It says that giving a person in their freshman year of high school an overly sexualized outfit meant for combat training is okay (it isn’t, for reasons I can’t even begin to explain). This more closely resembles an outfit for a lingerie or swimsuit model than it does for any type of superhero, which alone should be enough to warrant some serious changes - especially, as I have stated, since the girl is only 15!

The overall aesthetic. There is no aesthetic reading for this costume other than “sexy”, which, as I explained above, is very problematic. Sure, the exposed skin makes sense for her Quirk, since she needs access to skin in order to produce items with Creation, but nothing about this outfit denotes anything about her personality. Yaoyorozu Momo is a gentle girl who has been shown to have self-esteem issues from early on in the show, and just knowing that makes me wonder if she feels uncomfortable wearing this. If she’s totally comfortable in this look, good for her! But comfort in our clothing factors so much into our mental states, which translates directly to our physical performance - it’s the same reason why having clothes that fit you and your style well make you feel more confident and more content. And especially if Yaoyorozu wasn’t quite expecting the amount of skin revealed when her costume was given to her, it could likely have added on to her self-esteem issues as seen early in the school year.

The skintight fit of what amounts to a glorified bathing suit is not conducive or acceptable whatsoever. With such a powerful Quirk, Yaoyorozu needs all the protective material she can get - which, as I said in Uraraka’s analysis, is quite simply not possible to fit under that bodycon fabric. Some padding at the very least would work wonders, and bulletproof material would serve her even better.

Once again, heels are not good for any kind of running or fighting! At least it’s a block heel, which is marginally more stable than, say, a stiletto, but still.

The literal bookshelf on her ass. It makes no sense to put it there - it’s an inconvenient place (what if she needs to sit down?) and it looks incredibly awkward to move around with. Besides, there’s absolutely nothing stopping that book from falling at the slightest jostle. At least give her a proper holster or implement it into a toolbelt like some of the boys have.

What’s with the belt? Can it hold emergency supplies? Or is it just there to make it seem like she’s wearing more than a deep v one-piece? I’m at a loss here.

Here’s what I like:

The color scheme. Deep red, white, and pale yellow look good on her! The color ratios are also pretty good in my opinion. Unfortunately, this is the only good thing I can say about her getup.

And to round us out, some misc. notes:

I feel like the book could be done away with entirely and replaced with something digital. This universe is set multiple centuries into the future, and I think something like a holographic data set would look slick, enable for faster search time for whatever info Yaoyorozu would need, and eliminate the bulk problem completely. At the very least, there could be a smartwatch-type gauntlet to pull up info with a larger screen to enable easy reading. Really, the lack of support for Yaoyorozu’s look is devastating because she could go so many directions in creating an outfit that works with her Quirk’s strengths and against its weaknesses.

Overall: Awful, a disgrace, and a disservice to one of the coolest, kindest characters in the class. I would kill for her to get the outfit she deserves.

INVISIBLE GIRL / HAGAKURE TOORU

Wow, look! Two travesties in a row! One more and I get a bingo!

Hagakure, I love you so much, and I am so, so sorry that the yahoos over at the Support company thought that this was a good idea.

What I don’t like:

Uh. The fact that there isn’t a costume. There is literally no in-universe rationalization for this. Surely, they have the technology. Just look at Lemillion! Togata Mirio’s Quirk is literally phasing through materials (including his own clothing) and they made him his own non-phaseable costume by weaving his own DNA into the fabric! Even if they don’t have the technology (they do), I know that Hatsume and probably the rest of the Support students would immediately jump on the chance of creating a fabric with the ability to switch between visible and invisible modes.

Once again, the sexualization of minor Hero students continues to disturb me. Who in their right mind thinks it’s okay to send a naked teenager out into a live battlefield just because she’s less likely to be noticed that way? This line of thought surely doesn’t account for stray bullets or falling debris, nor does it account for this poor girl’s peace of mind. She should be focused on getting the job done and saving people, not worrying about how it’s too cold for her to work properly or how there’s nothing between her body and a loaded gun except for the air between them.

The gloves and shoes seem like they’re kinda. Missing the point of contributing to a stealth Hero costume? Yes, they’re good so that Hagakure can be easily recognized among her allies, but does she just have to stow them wherever when she needs to go fully invisible and hope she can find them once the mission’s over? Plus, Hagakure will always, at the very bare minimum, need something to protect the soles of her feet. Walking barefoot just for everyday civilian stuff would cause a lot of problems, but Heroes likely have a lot of broken glass, broken nails, debris, and other nasty things on the streets where they fight. Tetanus is not fun to have.

Here’s what I like:

The gloves are a nice color, I guess?

Some misc. notes:

I gotta say, I’ve seen SO many good takes on outfit redesigns for Hagakure (same with Yaoyorozu) and the fandom collectively has some wonderful ideas on how to go about creating a costume for her. Personally, I think it would be cool if she had a full-body suit that could change between visible and invisible modes - that way, she would be easy to identify in head counts and it would likely be easier to see places where she could be injured after a fight. At the very, very least they could pull a Lemillion and have her outfit infused with something from her own DNA so it can disappear as she does while leaving her at least covered.

Overall: So, so bad. Please give this girl a suit. I’m tired.

TLDR Part 2:

Great Costumes:

Good: Iida

Okay: Aoyama

Questionable:

Bad:

The Absolute Worst: Yaoyorozu, Hagakure

#happi rambles #anime #bnha #walk walk fashion baby #meta #iida tenya #aoyama yuuga #yaoyorozu momo #hagakure tooru #and here's part two!#as I said earlier I'll link everything together once all parts are posted and I'm sorry if I didn't catch some spelling/grammar errors #long post #class 1A costume analysis

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theeyesinthenight · 4 years ago

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College Tips for Neurodivergence and Chronic Illness

Hey Everyone!I just wanted to talk for a minute about the stuff that I do to make college slightly easier to get through, and ask around for if anyone else has any advice.

Physically going to class:

1. Physical Calmness: Make a small physical maintenance travel bag that you carry with you EVERYWHERE. Include things like moisturizer, chapstick, cough drops/sucking candy, nail clippers, hair ties, eye drops, pain relief meds, sunglasses- anything that you frequently need to maintain you and your body’s ability to be calm. Sensory overload frequently becomes a thing on campus, and frequently overstimming on campus can make it really hard to want to go to class every day. I carry 6 ponytails, 2 chapstick, 4 advil, 4 sucking candies, 2 tampons, emergency ear plugs and earphones, gloves, moisturizer and sunglasses every day and I swear they make the difference between wanting to run crying out of my classroom and being able to hold on some days.

2. Make Checklists: Especially if you deal with executive function issues (like me!) you can build checklists for every day, repetitive tasks as well as normal to-dos to help you manage everything at once without forgetting anything. Don’t feel obliged to make the list pretty or perfect, just keep adding and refining the lists as you notice stuff you’ve forgotten or usually do. Write lists for literally everything. There is no shame to writing everything down. That being said, if you end up scheduling your days, always leave yourself an hour or two a day and like 10-15 minutes before crucial junctures so you aren’t stressed about running late and can actually unwind sometimes.

3. Eat: Some people will have meal plans, some will cook at home and bring stuff to school, but it’s absolutely fucking critical to chemical homeostasis (especially if you do what I do and wind up in class from like 10 am to 7 pm) to plan when and what you’ll eat- either by scheduling adequate meal breaks to go buy it, or packing it ahead of time. This is when lists can help: I remember to pack my lunch and snacks every morning or prep food for consumption when I get home only because I leave it on sticky notes on my phone when I go to sleep. Just drinking coffee nearly made me have an anxiety related melt down my freshman year before I realized that the constant feelings of a racing heart were only partially because of anxiety and were also because of the sheer amount of caffeine in my system. Eating healthy is also important, and will make you feel even better than just eating, but now is not the time to put yourself on a starvation diet just to lose 10 lbs. Eating high protein has helped some of my snacky issues as well as generally gives me more energy, and making my own mealprep at home- even my own muffins and cookies- generally are more healthy for my than what I get in the store. Fruit, cheese, lunch meat (or sliced cooked meat) and pickles or olives in endless combination work great for me as mindless snacky food, as does homemade popcorn (either in a skillet or costco bags) because it’s dirt cheap and you can put anything from seasoning salt to furikake and shredded dried pork on it. If you need help figuring out recipes, feel free to pm me! I’m good at working with nutritional and budgetary restraints. Pancakes are kind of a universal good.

4. Give yourself permission to leave: If you’re triggered, or seconds away from panic, GET UP AND LEAVE. College classes are not the same as high school classes, and most teachers are perfectly fine with you getting up to get water, or go to the bathroom, or cry in the bathroom. Try to make sure you go back to class most of the time, but if you’re really that stressed, also give yourself permission to leave.

5. Find a backup note system: There will be days that you cannot go to class. Accept this. Therefore, it is critical to find a way to make sure you always get the notes. Some colleges offer note taking assistance, some allow you to audio record lectures (check 1 and 2 party consent states first), and some leave you to your own devices, in which case, make a casual buddy to get notes from. You do not need to be besties with this person, Try to make sure you know how many days you actually have to go, and minimize grade damage when you can’t.

6. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. I cannot emphasize this enough; whether or not you’re taking medication, getting enough sleep is critical to pretty much everything that might be going on in your head- hormone issues, depression, autism, whatever. Your brain is going to be stressed out by the new environment and the additional, new problem solving that it has to do; help it make its best decisions. I literally wake up on less than 7 hours of sleep and consider selling my siblings on the black market. Don’t do it.

7. Be careful about Caffeine; Some people are more or less sensitive to caffeine, or forms of caffeine, don’t develop a coffee addiction just because it’s in vogue. Matcha seems to have the most stabilizing caffeine affect on my brain of all the caffeine options, though tea still works universally better than coffee. I also make my own “lattes” and cold brew at the beginning of the week and keep them in my fridge; a 2oz jar of matcha powder may cost like 60$ but it will make me about 90 cups of tea and last me two semesters especially if I mix in other kinds of cheaper teas in my morning; it’s certainly cheaper than starbucks- cups of latte come out to 95c and have about a third of the calories (which means I can drink more of them!) Which ties into;

8. Budgetting. You might be stressed out about money or make tons of tables and charts to try to deal with that stress; there are a lot of ways to cope with it, but my favorite method (and I still use a combination of these) for dealing with food and consumable stuff you need regularly like shampoo and soap or socks are: separate that money from everything else that you need to buy, then at the beginning of a semester

Go to Costco, a particular kind of “exotic” grocery store, or a farmers market. Buy and then freeze meat, vegetables, and fruit (if you use them in baked goods or in yogurt) or get prefrozen meat- make sure you’re checking the price/lb or K for the cheapest, and bags of either rice, flour, boxes of pasta (cheap carbs) and oil- i recommend having canola, it’s utilitarian for frying with a high flash point. If your budget isn’t tiny, this is a great time to also get dried (or canned but I don’t like the texture) beans, and canned meat or sauce if you actually eat it. The key is to get cheap bulk things that will last for a semester or five, and that are always on hand.

Take the rest of your food budget out in cash. Separate it into bundles for “each week”, put them in your wallet, and return the change to the jar when you’re done. It was always easier for me to visualize how much spending money for food that I had when I physically had the cash; it meant I didn’t overspend and it also meant that I started making better “investment” decisions; I’d buy cinnamon sticks one week, or good olive oil the next, instead of dropping a couple hundred dollars on ingredients I might have never used.

Do a similar bulk buy of products you know you use, and then leave the rest of that money- also in cash!- in a separate jar with a stickynote on top. When you have to use money for stuff from it, just stuff the receipt in the jar with the cash and do your accounting When You Have Brainspace.

I deal with other bigger accounting stuff over cards, but I try to limit one card to rent, insurance, school payments, big regular stuff that I autopay and always pay off, and one card to “emergency” stuff that I’m always working on paying off- think emergency dental work, car broke, etc. That one I do gig labor to cover when I can.

Anyone else, feel free to chime in! It’s super useful to have lists of tips and tricks!

#college tips #neurodivergence #neuroatypical #dealing with college

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atouchofgreen · 3 years ago

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Weed & Mental Health (adolescent)

Mom and Dad,

In the recent months I have experienced cognitive decline that I attribute to my use of weed cartridges. I started smoking weed cartridges when I was in my senior year of high school, and became addicted. I hated it but for some reason I couldn't stop I smoked daily. Although I took month long breaks often, I continued to smoke in college during my first 2 years. Towards the second semester of sophomore year, I used legal delta 8 carts instead of delta 9 carts. The only negative aspect of using up to my sophomore year was my lack of motivation and any minute cognitive changes went away following abstinence. I should have quit or asked for help. In high-school I asked for help by leaving my stash on the laundry machine and gave a singular puff to mom one time (she thought it was an e-cigg though). In highschool in my AP Chemistry class, I saw a kid at the end of class do a hit from a similar weed cart in front of his friends. It would have been so easy for him to get caught, he was standing up giggling with his back turned but the teacher was on the computer and didn't notice. I recognized then that this kid was so alone with his addiction that he did it in front of his friends at school out of pain and solidarity. He had an expressionless face most of the day and seemed distraught, I knew from the grapevine he smoked a lot. He was like me, addicted, and did a hit in school subconsciously screaming for help. After class I asked coach Jacobs his thoughts on using weed. He said, sitting on his computer desk chair with his hands behind his head, " I think after 25 half a joint does the same damage as having a martini, but before then its really bad for you physically, mentally, and your development as a human being. You should wait until after your brain is fully developed to try anything." I remembered this for the rest of my life. I didnt have the courage to directly ask for help but I needed it and should have asked anyone. I couldn't quit it although I should have had the courage to do so. I tried quitting many times but I was too far down the drain mentally. But now, I am scared for myself. I quit completely following moving jethin in because I was noticing cognitive decline in myself. It was terrible. One morning, I woke up and nothing entered my brain its like I was a zombie. That is why I quit. I hoped I would regain my functionality like before, but to no avail. My iq seems to have dropped 10 points at least. My short term memory has regressed so much that learning new information is difficult for me. Reading is harder and to recall something takes me much longer than before. I have a harder time making long term plans and imagining things. I had a hard time with understanding and expressing English as well though this has been improving. My mind is nothing like it was before. Now, my memory, pattern recognition, recall, imagination, has diminished to a much lower degree. I was fine last year and the year before that, my mental health and cognition were good, but recently it seems like a switch turned off for me. When I walk in the world I don't absorb information the same. I don't abstractify what I am seeing as easily, and my short term memory is really shot. Its like I'm just walking in the world blind deaf and dumb. I am scared I won't be able to pass my classes even though compared to highschool these classes are an absolute breeze relatively speaking to when my brain was sober. I can't do quick calculations anymore and I am acutely aware that my senses are just senses. Seeing touching hearing are just that, I can't calculate the same way i used to to create a coherent experience of what's going on around me. I don't have appreciation for life anymore. I am telling you all of this now because i have really experienced cognitive decline and I am extremely depressed, unhappy, and anxious. I am afraid that my prefrontal cortex and hippocampus is permanently damaged. Weirdly, I've had a dull ache in my head ever since I've quit, in the middle and front of my brain, that's been getting slightly better with time. The slight discomfort or pain is always there its terrible. It also gets better temporarily when I cry, meditate, or sleep for an extended period. I hope that after a few months this dull pain would subside and my mental capabilities would return. Even my dreams are less complex and have less emotion. All of this is what I talked to that therapist about. It's not like I am sad ALL of the time, but a lot of it. But I am pretty sure my mind will never be what it was before. I experienced life to its fullest extent while I was not using any drugs, and now that I've been sober for 2 months now and my mind is not returning close to what it was. I still feel like a zombie when exercising, and I develop a deep sense of sadness right after I work out because i recognize my short term memory and mental capability are weakened which makes it hard for me to make good memories and I get anxious about my future. I am pretty emotionless, even fear is hard for me to experience. When I am unhappy, at times I break out into a sob, but because my emotions have dulled probably from the weed, I only start to sob momentarily and then return to a face of stoicism. This makes it hard to achieve catharsis for my sadness and it gets bottled up inside. I don't really mind the mental health difficulties from quitting weed - that can pass over time with proper behavior - but it's the cognitive difficulties that makes me afraid. I am afraid that I will never be able to view the world the same way that I used to before weed. I am afraid that I won't be able to become a doctor unless my brain heals over time. I have read many studies about the use of marijuana during adolescents. Although there is conflicting research, my experience suggests the worst for me - that what I am experiencing may be permanent. I also read that smoking weed during adolescence can delay prefrontal cortex maturation, meaning I would never be able to absorb information and process it the same way ever again. If only I had read the dangers of early marijuana use earlier and understood I would have quit immediately. It is entirely my fault my life is like this now, I was too weak. Both of you have given me everything and helped me the most you could. Especially Dad. Dad, I feel so bad because you have lowered your expectations of me so much. If I hadn't started smoking, I know I would be a completely different person. Mom and Dad, I have been thinking about committing suicide for some time. I've been thinking about it at least once a day actually for a few months. Its not that I think life and the world is terrible and bad, I actually think the opposite. Before smoking I loved life and loved myself. I could feel the world like a thumping heartbeat or a quivering harp playing soulful music. I feel like killing myself because my current and future experiences will be inorganic. My brain structure/chemistry probably changed forever and I don't want to live with this brain anymore. I cant understand everything going on around me thus I can never understand the world the same way like I used to. I feel like i can't learn new things, everything I do now is because I am just accessing what I learned before starting to smoke weed and during freshman and sophomore year of college. My emotions have waned. I can't calculate complex things anymore and put it into context sufficiently. I can't move my body and think strongly at the same time. Right now, meditation and thinking about my long term memory is my only friend. My short term memory is shot which affects my learning and ability to make meaningful experiences or connections. It's like I have pseudodementia though not as bad. The only joy I get is accessing my long term memory and talking long walks in places and with people that used to bring me joy. I loved Turkey so much and the time we spent I go there in my head all of the time. I love Africa, I love India, I loved my friends at swimming and during highschool. But if that's all I am living for I don't know what the point is. I curse myself everyday for making the mistake of smoking weed or not quitting when I could have. I could've become a beautiful person had I continued developing normally. I am so sorry for being a bad son. I am so sorry that you came from India to America to have a child that fucked up like me. I am sorry for the stress this places on both of you. You both did nothing wrong in raising me, I just fucked up. I am sorry for how this may affect your work dad. And I am sorry for being a liability for the family. While I am drowning I don't want you both to drown with me. Maybe I can get a job somewhere or go into the military. At this point cognitively, unless my brain is capable of rewiring itself (maybe that's what the dull persistent ache is in my head) I don't think I can learn the information necessary to safefully treat patients. My therapist said it would take 3-4 months to a year to feel normal again but I don't know what I will do if I can't return to baseline. I used to live with such a thirst for life and understanding but if that doesn't return I feel like I am dragging life down and owe it to my memory of what life was before weed to take my own. Currently my plan is to wait a year and a few months before seriously thinking of committing suicide if I don't heal because the pain I am feeling is so immense. I want to live life FEELING everything organically regardless of what it is. Also my smarts are gone and that gave me tremendous joy. I know what life was like before using weed and I know how it should feel. But I cannot properly life, my sense of self, empathy, and life around me currently. I am walking around blind deaf and dumb I don't know if I want to live this way for the rest of my life. I would have loved to become a doctor.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to kill myself and I don't think I will have the balls to frankly but that saddens me even more if I can't feel or process what I am experiencing for the rest of my life. Life is too short to waste, any life really even if I'm dumber than what I used to be. I think of people who are paralyzed, people who have cancer, who have nobody left to care for them, people who are homeless and have physical ailments. They don't give up, but their minds are still natural. I am young and the only reason I am thinking of this is because I don't want to go the rest of my life with derealization of the world around me. I don't want to live the rest of my life blind deaf and dumb. No new experiences since the latter parts of my weed addiction have given me any meaning in life compared to what I had learned before smoking weed. I am grateful I got to experience and learn the meaning of life from my perspective and others when I was younger, thank you for that. I love you both so much. I am sorry and don't worry I am not going to kill myself its just that I am angry with myself, angry with my cognitive decline, and angry that I can't experience what life ought to be currently. I am hoping for better in the future though. I just thought you should know.

Love, Your son

Before Weed:

I am telling you this because I am scared for myself although it may be too late. Before I tell you what I've been going through, I want to tell you about my life experience up until junior year of highschool. Although I wasn't exactly extremely smart from your perspectives, I was acutely aware of my surroundings. In school I was more focused on how things were organized and what every single person in the room was thinking and what their plans were rather then what they were teaching. It's like my brain was calculating 20 things at once and i was living existentially all the time. I was incredibly happy just to be alive. I could recall the exact positions of people and things around me, what I was thinking, and the sutle muscle movements of people over a reasonable amount of time. I used to know what people were going to say before they said them, and know someone's personality outlook on life, habits mentality etc. just by watching for 10 seconds to an incredible degree of accuracy. The longer a person was in my focus I learned more about them exponentially. I could learn things very well and had a memory based on the things that I was focused on that was so precise and better than almost everyone I had ever met. People in high school who knew me well knew this and would be shocked how i could know things about them. Some things like sexuality and gender insecurities, presence of autism/ Asperger's as a child, family life back home, and who liked who, I could tell about people after observing them for a little. I had respect from people at school and some teachers because they knew what I could learn about a situation or people just by being in the same room. I could learn new words in the blink of an eye if I heard it just once, I was constantly calculating. With dad, I could not learn what he tried to teach me though just because I was so scared of him that my focus wasn't there and panic was always set in I was scared to be beat frankly (i wasn't scared of the pain but just scared what it meant which was hard for me to fully realize because I would slightly repress the memories and I don't like to do that). But it's from him I learned how to analyze people and the world. But he is one of the only people I've ever met where I could not track his mind to a satisfying degree. For most people I would now what they were thinking, what they were incubating in the back of their head, and their current plan of action in a glance by looking at the eyes and body. I could not do this with dad because his mind is faster than mine it was too hard to keep up. He has mind palaces that are so structured and he can jump around his mind so easily I couldn't keep up with the mind palaces he created and how he navigates them. It was harder for me to do this with people who had a very high iq but I would practice everyday and would cherish analyzing introverts for practice. I walked on a street with a hundred people I would make an observation about each of them and could later recall exactly what I saw and what I was thinking. My kinesthetic sense was very good so physical distances was easy for me to calculate and remember. I truly believed that before starting weed I would become a doctor because all my strengths coincided with it. This ability, although most ppl might be able to do it, peaked for me right before starting weed. I was very much in tune with spirituality and enjoyed reading storybooks, meditation, and socializing. I was never focused on myself but what was around me, I kept my thoughts and feelings in a box in my mind to help me learn as I recorded what others were doing and thinking. I had balls - I asked out girls in highschool, and honestly wasn't afraid of much because both of you enabled me to experience life by taking me everywhere.

#weedsmokers #stoned weed #weed addict #legal weed

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onestowatch · 4 years ago

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Lynn Gunn’s Honest Portrayal of PVRIS’ Past, Present and Future Plus Details on New LP ‘Use Me’ [Q&A]

Did you know that quicksand cannot really sink your entire body? Hollywood renditions of this frightening occurrence showcase “Indiana Jones” type heroes desperately reaching for a branch or a vine to evade being swallowed whole by the muddy foe. In real life, however, quicksand is much denser than the human body–namely your torso and lungs. So, although you may sink to some degree, you’ll only be engulfed to about your torso region. That being said, to escape the hold of this mucky captor, you’re called to utilize, not a vine or a stick, but a natural aspect of yourself–in this case, the buoyancy of your torso and lungs. Doing so allows you to adjust your positioning so that you are on your back and are therefore more easily able to free your legs and eventually, yourself.

During moments of crisis such as this, it is not often that we think to use what comes most natural to us in order to overcome difficulties. However, as PVRIS frontwomxn Lynn Gunn discovered, tuning into your natural inclinations can be exactly what sets you free.

After battling debilitating health issues, anxieties, and multiple album delays, the refreshingly new album Use Me is here, and it has the empowered LGBTQIA+ artist plastered all over it. From the distinctively raw lyrics, impassioned vocals, dexterous commixture of that classic PVRIS Alternative Rock and new-aged Glitch-pop, and even a 070 Shake feature, this new album is taking everything we thought we knew about PVRIS to much higher heights. Use Me serves as the first release since Gunn followed her heart and came forward as the sole architect behind PVRIS back in March. After listening to all 40 emotion-inducing minutes of this cinematic project, it becomes clear that Use Me is so much more than an album, it is an unapologetic reclamation of power.

We were able to speak with Lynn Gunn before the release of the album and gather her perspective on this new era of creativity, utilizing her natural abilities for this new project, and even on supporting social justice causes.

All quicksand jokes aside, sink into this interview with Lynn Gunn below:

Ones to Watch: Although you’ve been making music for quite some time, this new era seems to be of a new bloom, not only for PVRIS, but for you. As you have stated, PVRIS is still very much a collective, but you have decided to shed the skin of “band culture” and from it emerge as the sole vocalist, lyricists, and creative director of PVRIS. How has that transition been on you all? Are people taking to it the way that you imagined?

Lynn Gunn: I didn’t really imagine anyone taking it any way, to be honest, it’s happening regardless of what others want to say or feel about it. It’s felt great personally and as a unit. I’ve seen mostly support but obviously, with anything, there’s always going to be people with the opposite. At the end of the day, this is what this is moving forward and works best for us, I know my truth and what this journey has been and looked like so far. I’ve seen so many insane and comical theories and conspiracies about the transition/negative comments… but ultimately I think anyone who decides to wastes their energy like that might find their life to be much more enjoyable if they channeled that energy back into their own life as there’s clearly a lack/wound somewhere within themselves. If that seems sprinkled with “shade”, it is, but I mean that with the most sincerity as well.

The saying goes “you can never really outrun yourself”, and from White Noise to Use Me, it seems that you’ve left a bit of a breadcrumb-trail leading us to this point. Although PVRIS has primarily been recognized as an Alternative Rock “band”, we can hear tiny glimpses of the sound that best encompasses PVRIS now throughout your entire discography. Was this glitch-pop, disco-esque sound something you were intentionally experimenting within your previous projects?

To be honest, this is always where I imagined PVRIS’s sound living and the type of production I’d heard PVRIS songs being told through. I think in the past I didn’t fully know how to communicate the little production nuances that would have taken some tracks from point A to B, there was also a fear (that I now regret having) about straying from the “rock” production/experiencing rejection from the “scene” we initially started playing shows and touring in.

For the most part, and I truly mean this, there really isn’t that much of a difference in the instrumentation and sonic choices of this album from the first two, it’s still a very even play of organic instruments and electronic/synths, it’s just being produced through a different lens that’s a bit cleaner, crisper and crunchier in some areas. It’s a new interpretation of the woodwork that’s always been there.

What has kept you motivated to continue creating and sharing your truth with the world?

That’s a great question because I go back and forth with that feeling sometimes… Ultimately seeing comments from fans/listeners and hearing everyone’s stories and ways that they connect to PVRIS’s music is the most motivating thing in the world. I also feel that no matter what type of obstacle course the universe wants to throw me through, I’m always going to be grateful for the bruises/lessons and always going to feel compelled to create and share those truths through music.

I understand you’ve run into a deluge of unfortunate health issues the past few years that have affected you and the band greatly. If you feel comfortable sharing, could you talk a little bit about these illnesses and the ways you have had to overcome the obstacles they brought forth to get you to where you are now?

Totally comfortable sharing! I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) about two years ago and then about a year ago was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. AS is an inflammatory disease that mainly attacks the lower back, hips, and ribs, but it can also manifest in a lot of other ways as well such as joint pain, chronic fatigue, and even eye issues. Sometimes when my AS is really bad, I can barely get out of bed or even roll over in bed. Over time, if not treated properly or managed, it can cause your vertebrae to fuse... I’ve heard that’s super rare though. Crohn’s is chronic inflammation in the digestive tract and is a little more embarrassing but pretty self-explanatory haha…

They definitely taught me (and by taught I mean forced me) to take time in caring for myself and caring for my body. Resting properly, staying in shape, eating super healthy, setting boundaries with work, etc. It’s also just made me really appreciative of the moments when my symptoms aren’t as bad/just happy to be alive and not have it worse. I’m determined to manage both diseases holistically and through integrative medicine, so far I’ve seen great progress.

Do you believe these difficulties aided in your journey towards this self-actualization that listeners are able to distinguish in this new era of PVRIS? If so, how/in what way?

Definitely! There are definitely some references to those difficulties in a few of the songs. I think outside of the music, it’s given a lot more self-love, strength, and patience. It’s also just created even more urgency to live my truth and to live it unapologetically in the way that I want, which naturally extends into PVRIS and the art that I want to make.

youtube

If you had to use one word to describe each album thus far, what words would you use and why?

White Noise - Freshman - everything was so new and exciting and there was so much eagerness with it, like a freshman walking through a high school for the first time haha.

All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell - Bootcamp (haha) - creating it and touring it were both pretty hard experiences BUT incredibly strengthening.

USE ME - Upgrade - despite all the chaos around this release, this is the freest I’ve felt and the most confident I’ve felt about a PVRIS album.

All the visuals and music video treatments that you have conjured up have a strikingly symbolic and cinematic feel to them. However, the symbolism and tone of the music videos tied to Use Me seem to take on a different nature. Can you talk about this shift in creative expression?

Mostly just working with new collaborators (Yhellow, Katharine White and Griffin Stoddard). I feel a lot less precious about things (to a healthy degree) and much more open to letting others run with the concepts as they wish! So many fun new exciting perspectives have been able to shine through.

I know you are a film fanatic and dabble in cinematography. Do you have any staple films that influenced the creation of the last five music videos?

The Holy Mountain was a big influence for the “Hallucinations” video, as well as [for] “Old Wounds”. For “Dead Weight”, I was actually inspired by the opening credits to That 70’s Show and Saturday Night Fever haha.

In July, you announced that the album was being pushed back so as to allow the floor for the amplification of Black voices, and to generate events in support of Black Lives Matter. Do you believe artists have a responsibility to take steps such as these to create a better future, regardless of whether or not these issues directly affect them?

Absolutely. We all need to be educating ourselves and actively doing the work to demand and create change towards a future that’s equal and just for Black lives.

Fans have been clinging to the edges of their proverbial seats waiting for Use Me in spite of all of the justifiable album delays. If you could relay one message to all the fans who have been patiently waiting, what would it be?

Please enjoy/connect, be good to each other and please please please vote if you are able!

Who are your Ones to Watch?

DRAMA, Jax Anderson, HDBeenDope, Royal and The Serpent, Nikki Hayes, Kat Cunning and LEXXE!

#PVRIS #Alternative #Pop

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utouchmycookie · 4 years ago

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Open Your Eyes

Chapter One: Flash

I (utouchmycookie) am the author of this piece. I don’t own the characters or locations, but the idea is mine. Also, I am ignoring my boring class by putting this here.

Flash walks into AcaDec expecting the heated glares of the girls, at the very least. Being verbally berated and kicked off the team by unanimous decision at the most likely. He doesn't even know what to think of at the most. Social death outside of the popular jocks (who have sway, but not nearly as much as they would at non-preppy need schools) seems like a possible outcome.

None of this happens. He does a double-take. Apparently there are no sides, which leaves the options that a) nobody gives a fuck (possible, but unlikely), or b) she said nothing (he'd figure this to be unlikely, but apparently it was entirely possible). She doesn't bother to look up at him entering the room, earbuds in and hair shielding the notebook she's scratching away in. Ned Leeds gives him the most dangerous look he's ever seen the happy go lucky President of the Computer Science, Ethical Hacking, Cybersecurity, IT, and Coding Clubs give; Michelle Jones manages to scare any sense of relief he'd mustered right off as she glances over the top of her book at him, and her glance says she knows, but the perfect expressionless deadpan and the way she almost immediately turns back to her book without giving him any further insight to what her thoughts are sends him into a horror and terror related trauma induced break down. Yes, he knows that's not a thing or the least bit grammatically correct but it's exactly what was headed for him.

He wishes she would do anything - scream at him in anger, sob in heartbreak, curse hysterically in hurt, even sigh in disappointment. She does none of these. She doesn't even bother to give him particularly serious cold shoulders and silence treatments and talk as if he isn't there and walk as if she doesn't even realize he's in the vicinity of her.

She's colder than she's ever been to him, including when he'd shoved Leeds into a locker, but she's no less polite than she's ever been. God, she's never been anything worse than curt with him, and he's such a dick and a douchebag and a tool and a piece of shit and a worthless waste of space. Even now, as he jostles to get her attention, she simply turns her eyes on him, listens to his cruel jests, and turns away when he's finished. God, here he was hoping for her to show him her heartbreak and here he was falling to pieces with his (and it was his own damn fault, his own stupid fucking choices).

Their (out of the know) teammates definitely recognize the difference in her behavior, but they chalk it up to her finally building an extra wall between them (something they've been trying to get her to do for literal years now. It was always, "Why are you so nice to him? He just shoves your books out of your hands to be a dick!" "I think he just needs some kindness in his life," "As if! I have all the kindness I could ever need, you psychotic whore!" "Sure seems like it." and god-fucking-damn her perceptiveness, her big heart, her endless kindness, her naïvety that she could help him; he would be forever indebted to her kindness and her gentleness and how much it had saved him and then he had ruined it with his stupid ass dumb fucking decisions and even now she couldn't be cruel to him, not even once.). Mr. Harrington pulls her aside after practice to double-check that he didn't hurt her, and the honesty and lack of attack in her response had made it hurt more (and how was that fucking possible anymore?!).

"He's Flash, Sir. He's always rude to me, and yes he did something nasty and it hurt, but it's not of the school's concern, it won't affect my performance in AcaDec, it's nothing I can't handle, and quite honestly, Mr. Harrington? I just don't want to stoop to his level."

"You are one of the most brilliant students I've had the honor of teaching, and are miles kinder and wiser than any other human being I've ever met. You're going to go far someday, and I cannot wait to see what you do someday."

"Thank you, Mr. Harrington. I couldn't do any of it if you didn't put your heart and soul into helping us even when it seems impossibly difficult." And then she smiled that innocent, sweet smile that let you know that she had no idea that she sounded like a brown-noser because she honest to God meant it.

So here's the thing: Peter Parker is an angel of a human being. The planet Earth 's disturbingly large number of vocal, disgusting humans didn't deserve her one bit. Flash among them.

But Peter Parker also suffered left and right.

She had been one of the few who had joined Midtown Tech's high school portion their freshman year, on one of the few scholarships offered. She'd started with an hour commute to school, and her high school career had started horribly. She was alone and friendless and new and definitely not in her socioeconomic class. What she had going for her was the school being an elitist nerd school. You had to be smart, and damn was she smart. That made her popular here. The geeky clubs made her cooler - Marching Band was perhaps not the straight dash to popularity choice, but one that gave her lots of social exposure. The International Club was a genius decision, because nobody at the school had less than Tier 1 universities in their future and everyone knew it was about being well-rounded. Acing Academic Decathlon had shot her right up to the top, earning her a spot in the likes of Liz Allen's favorite people to talk to. Peter hadn't intentionally done it, either, but she'd enchanted herself to the school by being utterly introverted and sweeter than a Pixie Stix without an ounce of dishonesty in her.

Then they'd gone to OsCorp. Norman Osborn and Dr. Curt Connors had revealed an open secret and it should have ruined her social life, but the students in the room had had nothing but sympathy for the horrible way of spilling her private life's facts - her parents were famous scientists, and dead.

The story hadn't gotten outside of their graduating class, at least, but the majority seemed to collectively decide she was their epitome of a Class Cinnamon Roll.

It helped their case that she was out sick for two weeks after OsCorp, and most people assumed that the stress of such horrible things being dragged up in such awful ways meant her mental health giving out and depleting her physical health. She'd come back and looked like shit for a week before she started looking healthier than she had before.

And then the hardest hit yet had slammed her, because Peter Parker never caught a single break.

Everyone in the school knew about Ben Parker's death. Peter's truancy was waived when she missed another week of school. Even the toughest teachers softened at the sight of her puffy, red eyes constantly wet with tears and ghost white face. Someone read the paper, and everyone doubled down on trying to soften up on Peter. Even Flash's buddies didn't have the heart to pick on her knowing she'd seen her uncle shot and held his hand as he died, helpless to do anything. She pulled herself together and two weeks later, and finally made her best friend out of Ned Leeds, generic friends with all the AcaDec girls, and at least acquaintances with the guys. Midtown decided she was not a cinnamon roll, but a gingersnap cookie from the Dollar Tree, like Seymour had once been dared to eat by a Brooklyn Visions' student back in middle school, when they had a kid from lower end Brooklyn who sold the cheap-ass things like damn drugs. Betty had told them they all needed to watch Ouran High School Host Club because they had the same energy as the Host Club drinking instant coffee, but everyone just took her word for it. Anyways, Peter. Dollar Tree gingersnaps. Tough as a Chips Ahoy cookie in light blue packaging, but not crumbly at all, and horribly sweet and spicy all at once.

Two years had been difficult, but survivable, until Thanos.

Plenty of people got fucked by the Decimation and the Blip. Half of the universe had died and returned five years later. A sixteenth of Earth's human occupants had been killed by factors associated with appearing and disappearing. An estimated fourth of all lives had been left in ruins with no way to restart. Not a single person went unaffected. Peter Parker though, she really could not catch a break.

No one outside of Flash's crew didn't believe Peter's having a Stark Internship. Therefore, learning that she had been at Stark's funeral due to being a close companion of his - and seemingly the girl out of the "girl and Spider-Man" who he had saved half the universe for, according to Ms. Potts-Stark directly, was a good sign as to the hurt she was feeling.

It was Thursday afternoon, and Mr. Mounts didn't care what they did this afternoon, because they had a paper due on Friday and half of a class in specialty Tech school that had an entrance exam who were taking AP Lit a year early had already turned in their papers. Mr. Mounts was a smart man, and a great teacher, but he was not technically inclined. He did not care though, so they all saw his YouTube views projected onto the Promethean Board with the noise up. That meant there was no stopping if the viewing of an ad — sort of.

A live news channel cut off the video with an announcement, the scene of a man who had lost it as a direct result of the Decimation and Blip completely ruining his old life during an appointment with the Maria Stark Foundation trying to help him get a new one on track. He'd gone absolutely psychotic, murdering the innocent charity worker, and setting himself loose on the streets. The news was warning of him being loose still and mourning the middle-aged woman now dead, by displaying a nice picture of her from the Maria Stark Foundation. Peter had announced, "I'm going to puke," and bolted out of the room. Ned and MJ had been on her heels, and the rest of the class was in shock.

"Oh Jesus Fuck," Sally finally said. And yeah, that was fair, because Flash knew that face as well as the rest of the AcaDec kids. It was the face of the sweet lady who once brought them Belgian Cream Pie straight from the German Bakery down the street from her apartment; she had got it at half-price because the owner's son was thoroughly charmed and the owner thought she would make an excellent daughter-in-law and that was deserving of half-priced pie even though he knew it was never going to happen.

There's a knock on the door, which opens to reveal Principal Morita looking very depressed and trying not to cry - "I need to borrow Miss Parker - oh fucking shit," he hisses.

"She went to the bathroom to puke, Sir. With Michelle Jones and Ned Leeds."

Somehow, the day only gets crazier. Everyone knows by the time Peter is safely tucked away in Mr. Morita's office, with the police officer who had to deliver the news, Mr. Morita, MJ, and Ned. The only people to go in or out is the secretary - who sends messages to the three students' teachers, as if they aren't tuned into the rumor mill - and a social worker.

MJ and Ned are sent to fetch lunch so the social worker can talk to Peter with only adults.

"Peter?... Do you have any other family you can contact? We... Uh, we tried the contact left in case of this type of horrible event, but given the nature of the contact, we couldn't get a call through -" the social worker pauses, "If not, we have options. Good homes that want a beautiful, brilliant girl like you."

"I'm sorry about that, Ma'am, but I'm sure you're aware that phone lines are a bit risky where my family is concerned. I can as soon as I heard," Pepper Potts-Stark announces as she brushes into the room. A mild-looking man follows her in, his red and white cane rattling as he swipes if in front of him. "And this is Miss Parker's lawyer, Matthew Murdock."

"I hate that we have to meet in such dismal circumstances."

"Oh, Honey," Pepper coos sadly to Peter, sinking down beside her and setting off another round of tears. "I know, Baby, let it all out, I know."

Chapters 2 and 3 up now!

#peter parker #peter parker/flash thompson #female peter parker #marvel #spider-man #pepper potts #team red #wade wilson #matt murdock #michelle jones #ned leeds #midtown #acadec #flash thompson

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brookefm-a · 4 years ago

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( twenty one , cis woman , she/her ) ✉ ― hey babes, have you met BROOKE MORENO. they’re vacationing here, a few villas down from where you’re staying. you might hear COCAINE MODEL BY ZHU playing from their villa, it’s their favourite song. yes, they hear that they look like ISABELLE MATHERS alot, actually - it’s really uncanny. their friends back home in MANHATTAN, NY say that if they were on a tv show, their trope would be THE STEPFORD SNARKER , how funny is that? ✎ ley , nineteen , she/her , est.

hi besties !! it’s ley here with this extremely chaotic & unhinged intro ! it’s truly an absolute disaster even after i spent an hour trying to make it better :)) anyways , i’ve decided to drop venice ( rip to real one ) bc i’ve just really lost muse & i’ve been so busy recently that i can’t handle two muses !! this is obviously a repost ( with a few very minor updates ) so feel free to completely ignore this .... but if you don’t , proceed with caution bc this is a mess.

𝐈 . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 :

FULL NAME : brooklyn paige guiliana moreno . NICKNAMES : just brooke .... her childhood nickname was peanut but call her that and you will receive a christian louboutin heel to the crotch . AGE : twenty - one . DATE OF BIRTH : august 4th . ASTROLOGY SIGN : leo . GENDER : cis woman . SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual . PRONOUNS : she / her / hers . OCCUPATION : socialite , model , influencer . HOMETOWN : manhattan , new york . EYE COLOR : green . HAIR : brunette , naturally wavy but she straightens or curls it every day. MOTHER : nadia moreno . FATHER : lorenzo moreno . SIBLINGS : caleb moreno . POSITIVE TRAITS : gregarious , freewheeling , intuitive , altruistic , vehement . NEGATIVE TRAITS : irascible , temerarious , capricious , covetous , flighty . AESTHETICS : hearts drawn on fogged glass , a golden ring on every finger , sunlight beaming through the curtains in the early morning , ruination spilling from cherry stained lips , lipstick stains on old vanity mirrors , sundays spent entangled within egyptian cotton sheets , overflowing glasses of bubbly , heels clicking against a marble floor , a honey toned voice spewing harsh words , cheeks stained a shade of natural peach , tanned skin against white sheets . CHARACTER INSP : idk what it is w me and always picking my childhood icons as inspo.... anyways , brooke is mainly based off of alex russo & paris hilton with maybe a dash of brooke davis & blair waldorf .

click here to take a lil trip to her pinterest !!

𝐈𝐈 . 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 :

tw : revenge porn ( leaking of nudes ) , stalking , ptsd & anxiety.

on august fourth , 1999 , brooklyn paige guiliana moreno was born to nadia & lorenzo moreno . she was their second born child , the baby of the family with an older brother by two years. born in milano , italy , but they moved to manhattan before she turned one , so she has no memory of it. as a child , brooke did everything her parents asked of her. she was people pleaser , and she thrived off the attention and validation. one day after seeing toddlers & tiaras on tv , brooke begged her parents to let her do pageants. and she very quickly moved up from just beauty pageants , into the real world of fashion and modeling. she loved the glitz and glam of it , and the way people would praise her for it. by the time she was 18 and finally able to focus full time on modeling , she was one of the top high fashion models in the world.

brooke met her first boyfriend her junior year of high school , and she fell head over heels for him. in hindsight , she knows it was more puppy love than real true love , but back then she had been so blinded by her feelings for him that she thought it would truly be something that could last. they were together for all of high school , until one party right after they graduated. they were playing spin the bottle ( bc ofc they were ) and brooke ended up having to kiss his best friend. she thought it had all been fun and games , but apparently , he was infuriated by what happened , and they got in a fight and broke up the next day. after their break up , he leaked her nudes to the media for a pretty large check to ‘ get back at her ’. thankfully , he was too much of an idiot to do it anonymously , and it was quickly found out that he was the leak. he was stripped of his college scholarships for football and expelled from princeton before his freshman year of college had even begun.

unfortunately , brooke’s troubles didn’t end there. that same summer , her two closest friends turned on her as well. they sold lies about her to the media , twisting the story to put the blame on brooke , claiming that she had cheated on her boyfriend by sleeping with his best friend. they were also always giving tips to the paparazzi about her location. and there was one paparazzi that at first , always seemed to linger in the background whenever she was out in public. she would spot him out of the corner of her eye , but she’d hadn’t really though much about it until he started following her to first apartment ( she had been so excited to finally have a place all to herself , and was crushed when it was tainted ). the first time he did it , he just sat outside on the street , watching her enter the building but not going any further than that. things escalated very , very quickly from there. it seemed that every time she would leave the building , he would be there , snapping photos , taking videos & hounding her with incredibly personal questions. one night , she had arrived home from a photo shoot , wanting nothing more than to just do her skincare and pass out in bed. there had been nothing off as she had entered her apartment , nothing that could have set off an alarm in her head. but as soon as she entered her room , she found the man that had been harassing her for weeks , looking through her things just hoping to find a story he could sell to the media. she was able to get a restraining order on him after that , but since he hadn’t physically harmed her , no criminal charges stuck.

she’d felt violated and betrayed , and so , so scared that she was no longer able to live alone. she gets really uncomfortable in large crowds or when she’s alone late at night , because she’s terrified that one day he’ll show back up. for a few months , brooke refused to go therapy because she was insistent that the events had no effect on her , even though it was obvious that she had. she wasn’t sleeping at night ( and still struggles with insomnia to this day ), she was barely leaving the house unless it was for work , and she had pushed away all of her friends. she finally agreed to go after after she had passed out from exhaustion in the middle of a photo shoot, and she’s improved a lot since then , but she does still have some lasting ptsd and anxiety. she also has a really hard time truly trusting people now , because she’s always scared she’ll let someone in just for them to sell out all her secrets.

𝐈𝐈𝐈 . 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 :

she can kinda be a tough nut to crack , but underneath the hardcore closed of exterior , she has a very bubbly personality , is very free spirited , she has no filter , and she’s extremely animated . she also cannot stay still for more than 5 minutes. literally the energizer bunny personified

okay .... she is lowkey a huge attention whore. there’s really has no excuse why she is either she just ... sucks lmao. but she really just thrives off of having all eyes on her , and has a naturally alluring energy. also has a major tendency to stir drama , even if it’s unintentional. she’s the type to be like “ i’m not a fan of drama i’ll just stay out of it ” but then is always the FIRST to ask for all the tea whenever shit goes down

she’s also very much a serial dater. in her pea brain attention = love so she’ll flock to wherever she gets that. she likes the validation of relationships but hates the commitment , so pretty much all of her relationships end before they ever really start. it’s something the media has caught onto , and she’s criticized quite a lot for it.

she does a pretty good job at hiding her ptsd , but please just .... don’t sneak up on her or surprise her bc she will freak out ( nd then either get irrationally angry or completely shut down bc she doesn’t know how else to handle these emotions lol )

she is a hardcore adrenaline junkie , she does so much shit just for the thrill. for her eighteenth birthday , she went cliff diving in mexico , then for her twenty first , unlike most ppl who just go to a club & get drunk , she went sky diving. she just holds a lot of emotion in , so anything that will release all of that or make her feel anything other than the things she’s avoiding are very much welcomed.

brooke once sent nasa a 6 page persuasive essay trying to convince them to send her to space. included in said essay were multiple images of herself because “ i’m a star and i should be documented as such ” unfortunately for her , they never responded :(

she would not be caught dead looking unpresentable .... she’ll do a full face of make up even if she’s waking up at 4am. and don’t even bother to ask her to go out after she’s done her skin care routine .... there’s no chance

god complex but sometimes it takes the day off & she’ll be insecure as fuck. honestly the conceitedness is pretty much just a defense mechanism to hide how much she actually hates herself lmao very “ i feel like i’m the worst so i act like i’m the best ”

#villasintro

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sinsdaycorp · 5 years ago

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Would u be willing to list below some of the avalance fanfics?

Sorry that it’s taken me so long to answer this, I haven’t been on a laptop in a long time so I haven’t had a chance to really look at my inbox…

So, this has also given me a good reason to go through my bookmarks and reread some Avalance (:

Hope these recs are good!!

– –

Forever with No matter where you are (I’ll be there) - moonlitprincess

“She remembers the day Sara changed her name in Ava’s phone, remembers the way the late morning sunlight had streamed in through the windows and fallen on Sara’s bare back so that her skin was warm to the touch, remembered the way the sheets had bunched at Sara’s hips as she lay on her stomach, Ava’s phone in her hand and scrolling through contacts until she reached her own name.

“What are you doing?” Ava murmured, reaching out to trail her fingers lightly over Sara’s spine.

“Changing my name on your phone,” said Sara, locking the phone and tossing it back onto the pillow between them. “I’m now your little bird.”

Ava chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Sara’s shoulder. “Why?”

“So if either of us ever get caught, you won’t get implicated as being associated with Sara Lance.””

an avalance ocean’s 8 au.

– –

Guns hidden under our petticoats - plinys.

Ava is certain that this is a joke, and if not, the worst possible assignment the Time Bureau has ever given out. The assignment of monitoring Sara Lance - future threat to all of time and history, and currently Starling City’s very own Black Canary - certainly isn’t what she had been hoping for when she’d been promoted, but Ava’s determined to stick to the non-interference rules and make the most of it. Though Sara has been known to throw a wrench into many people’s carefully made plans.

– –

A million miles away - plinys.

Sara upgrades her phone to the latest OS - meant to be innovative enough to seem nearly human - and finds herself falling for the voice that’s always in her ear.

(A Her. AU)

– –

Forever with your hands in my pockets - plinys.

“If only there was something I could do to help my grade,” Sara says, her voice sugary sweet, “I’d do just about anything?”

“Well, you could start by doing your homework.”

(Or: Sara’s five step plan to seduce her political statistics TA into giving her a good grade.)

– –

Summer slipped us underneath her tongue - plinys

“Wait, you didn’t think that I wore my Bureau suit around the house, did you?”

– –

Silence - plinys.

“We should play a game,” Sara insists.

“How about the silent game,” Ava suggests.

– –

BASICALLY ANYTHING BY PLINYS!!!

– –

Don’t you like you, cause I like you - CoffeeAndArrows, moonlitprincess

But before Ava can turn to run away from the door, it swings open to reveal Sara Lance standing in front of her. Her hair is bundled into a messy bun on the top of her head, two stray strands framing the sides of her face. She’s wearing a SCHS soccer hoodie and skin tight shorts that only come halfway down her thighs, revealing muscly, freckled legs that Ava has to work very hard not to look at. Her feet are adorned with grey fluffy socks which Ava is avoiding calling adorable in her head in fear of starting to associate Sara with any word remotely cutesy and affectionate.

Sara’s expression is genuinely surprised for several moments, eyes wide and startling blue. Her lack of makeup and the dim, golden light of the corridor highlight the freckles that are littered across her face.

Her eyelashes are really blonde, thinks Ava. How did I never know her eyelashes were blonde?

a high school au in which sara and ava have been each other’s arch nemesis since freshman year, but when ava’s parents react badly to her coming out, it’s sara’s doorstep that ava shows up on when she doesn’t know what to do.

– –

The day before you came - Phoebmonster

“So, the brief is …” She tapped her fingers on the wheel. “Make your Mom believe you’re really gay and give you some peace and quiet next year.”

Ava nodded, and Sara grinned.

“Right, I can do that.” She said, more to herself than anything.

aka the ‘i’ve hired you to pretend to be my partner to annoy my family at christmas but i think i’m really falling for you’ AU that Absolutely no one asked for.

– –

Cause I see sparks fly (whenever you smile) - mrsavalance.

“Excuse me, one of the flight attendants said that this seat was still free. Is that correct?” You are frozen in place when you find Sara Lance staring at you with those piercing blue eyes. You cannot help but stare at them. They seem to appear to be even bluer now that she is standing right in front of you, than they are on screen. You quickly avert your gaze to the empty seat next to you, which you had placed your bag upon as soon as you figured out that no one was going to sit there, and if she noticed you staring, she doesn’t comment on it at all, which you are immensely grateful for.

The Avalance celebrity au, nobody asked for.

– –

i just wanna spend the nights with you - moonlitprincess.

based on a tumblr ask: “i had been on a few casual dates with this girl and we went back to my place yesterday and we were gonna y’know…fuck for the first time. anyway she takes off her shirt and it turns out she has a six pack (an honest to god could grate cheese on it six pack) and i was so surprised/turned on that i couldn’t breathe and passed out, hit my head and she had to drive me to the er. i have 4 stitches. she’s probably never gonna call me again lmao”

college au where ava is only MILDLY crushing on campus heartthrob sara lance and can totally 100% be chill with a casual hookup … until she realises sara has abs. (ft. our favourite ladies being useless gay disasters & plenty of unexpected feelings)

– –

The One With the Bet - WardenRoot.

Ava loses a bet to Sara, the terms of which states that the loser has to do whatever the winner says

– –

Scars - WardenRoot.

Ava sees Sara’s scars for the first time

– –

What if I’n weak and I need you tonight - WardenRoot.

Ava finds Sara crying in her room after a not so successful mission and tries to comfort her.

– –

Will You Be My (Fake) Wife? - WardenRoot.

“So what you need from us is a date?”“A fake spouse, yes.”

When an object from the future gets displaced, Ava needs the help of the Legends to go undercover and retrieve it

– –

So, I guess I’m trying to say, anything by WardenRoot also?

– –

Sweet Girl - TML9115

Sara is turned into a five year old. The legends with the help of Gary convince Ava to watch her.

– –

More than a Clone - StoryChanger

Ava is attacked in her own apartment and barely escapes to the Waverider. Sara and her team work together to figure out why she was attacked and discover that someone close to Ava maybe a traitor.

– –

The Holiday Party - ffgirl21

In a last ditch effort to help Sara get over her recent breakup, Laurel drags Sara to her law firm’s Thanksgiving party where she runs into Ava Sharpe, a corporate lawyer at Laurel’s firm.

– –

Nailing The Canary - notthegoblin

Ava Sharpe is a spy tasked with capturing the elusive Canary. Can she keep focused on her mission when Sara Lance catches her eye?

– –

A Special Kind of Real Fake Love - karadanverz

In order to catch a time-traveler that’s trying to erase the Time Bureau from existence, Ava and Sara must go undercover at a couples retreat for a week so that they can catch him.

– –

Camp Waverider - Notabeautifullittlefool

The summer camp AU that I was literally the only one to ask for.

– –

all these roads lead back to you - Phoebmonster

She could feel it now, something that wasn’t there before, clear and mysterious like the pools of water in the caves, sat at the edge of her mind. If she just reached out -

(An artefact gives Sara and Ava the ability to read eachother’s minds. it goes about as well as you would expect.)

– –

So, I went through all my bookmarks and took out a lot of options from this list because they weren’t all complete.

I hope you enjoy these fics, because I surely did!

Also, if you have a twitter, there’s A LOT of SMAU’s on there that have me in stitches.

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1124792102557290498?s=20

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https://twitter.com/saviourxsara/status/1111513658209624065?s=20

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https://twitter.com/katlikescats_/status/1122598940162052097?s=20

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https://twitter.com/Iegendsofau/status/1038175307839225856?s=20

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https://twitter.com/plinys/status/1079173574781530114?s=20

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https://twitter.com/katlikescats_/status/1080932001941766144?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/mrsavalance/status/1092893264473194498?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1080450697915781120?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1088810889632010240?s=20

– –

Hope you enjoy each and every one of these as much as I did.

#Avalance #Asks #Avalance Fics #Avalance AU's #Sara Lance #Ava Sharpe #Fanfiction #bettertobebisexualxoxo #Long Post #fic rec #Avalance Fanfiction Rec #Avalance Fic Rec

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michin--yeoja · 4 years ago

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Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol - A Review

Overall Opinion: A potentially good drama destroyed by a lack of focus and any substantive plot.

I was rather excited about this drama because I assumed it would be a light romcom full of high jinks by the main characters. Also, I really like Go Ara and Lee Jae Wook as actors and was highly anticipating their performance, which honestly they delivered. However, this drama was full of cliches and random elements in order to prolong the plot because there was no true plot. The writers honestly did a very poor job with this.

The Good

I loved the characters, which is the only redeeming part of this drama. All of them are very well developed and I love their interactions with one another. They all became a family and supported one another. I also liked the fact that there was no true antagonist.

Excluding the final episodes, the drama didn’t really leave any loose ends, but considering how simple the plot was, this isn’t that commendable. I enjoyed how they used the flashbacks as they were all explanatory and not repetitive, or they offered a new perspective/understanding of the situation.

Honestly... That’s it for the good...

The Bad

The lack of a true plot is the glaring flaw in this drama. Instead of adding so many random elements and tropes, the writers really should have focused on a single main conflict. The lack of vision was obvious and thus it was inevitable that this drama would be disappointing, as no plot never equals a good drama.

The biggest stumbling block for me was when they revealed that Sunwoo Jun was still in high school. I don’t understand why the writer’s just didn’t make him older/a freshman in college because his being in high school really wasn’t relevant to the plot. Rather, by making him underage, you have introduced a really problematic element in your drama. Legally, I know it falls under a gray area (and it’s been a while since I studied this), but it’s just so icky. Before the reveal, I was all for the relationship between Jun and Ra Ra, but after all I could fixate on was that he was underage. Yes, I know he lied about his age so Ra Ra didn’t know better, etc., but still. The only way making him older would have impacted the plot would be that the fight of his college major wouldn’t happen, but that was hardly a big conflict, and his mother’s urgency to find her son wouldn’t really have involved the police. Except, you can report adults as missing - yes, the police may not do much, but they can still be involved. Also, if the writers’ thought Jun being adult would make his mom’s behaviour unreasonable.... Umm... Aren’t they part of the Asian culture? Our parents do not stop worrying about us ever. Also, any parent would be frantic over a missing child, whether they were in high school or college. So this was an element that they could have totally changed to make the drama and the relationship between the main characters more appropriate. All the other plot points would still work if Jun was a little older.

Another element that was poorly executed was Ra Ra’s stalker. The writers did a really half arsed job with it and so it makes it seem as just a plot filler, which is bad because the entire plot was just filler after filler! I especially didn’t like how they resolved the situation with the stalker. Tying him to the dead body found with Jun’s ID was sloppy and didn’t make any sense at all. The writers clearly had used the character as much as they could and needed a way to get rid of him.

Finally, Sunwoo Jun’s cancer! The most inexplicable and pointless element. First of all, there was absolutely no indication that Jun was ill... And if his cancer was acute as they said, we definitely would have needed to see him be unwell. Then there is that ending... If you were going to keep him alive, you cannot wait to reveal that in the last 5 minutes! Sorry, but you just can’t because you have to explain it! Not the half-arsed shit we got. One, why did the mother lead Ra Ra to believe Jun is dead? That’s just cruel. Also, I don’t understand why he waited 5 years to come back. Cancer survivors are never ever considered cured because the cancer can always come back, they are only considered in remission. Further, he could not have been receiving treatment for 5 years straight... I’m pretty sure chemotherapy and radiation therapy are cycled and only for so many months because the body cannot handle consistent treatment. What would Jun have done if Ra Ra had moved on? Then what? Also, Ra Ra very merciful because if I had been in her place, I would have been angry as heck! To not communicate once in 5 years and let me believe you are dead in those years is not acceptable.

#Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol #KDrama #KText #DDSSLLS #My Opinion #I have a lot more to say... But I'm just exhausted thinking about this and all the ways the drama failed

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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You know what I think is funny, fandom loves to throw "the animation and writing teams don't work together" as a reason we can't read into different things happening onscreen (Which regardless, that's really stupid, since acting/animation/intonation of the lines/etc can impact the way the story is perceived). But they're also the same ones talking about how the animation is showing the little love things between Blake and Yang and other small tells we see that shows the team hasn't changed much.

This is a problem with all analysis and something that everyone is inclined to do (simply because we all have our opinions and we all want to be right lol). At its most basic, it’s pointing to certain events in a story as proof of an argument while simultaneously ignoring other events that disprove it. We see this all the time when people discuss characters they like/don’t like: you’ll either get a list of all the good qualities or a list of all the bad, with the “analysis” refusing to engage with that other list. Once you move past that roadblock - once you train yourself to consider everything in the text, even when it’s frustrating - you get more complex readings. The stuff that says, “Yes, on the surface it looks like this character has all these bad qualities too but we need to take context into account as well. Like the fact that when they did this Bad Thing someone was blackmailing them into it whereas they did this Good Thing of their own accord.” Or, “Yes, this character has a mix of Good and Bad qualities so maybe we should be acknowledging a more nuanced reading of their morality rather than insisting ‘They’re the devil’ or ‘uwu they’re a baby who did no wrong’” The purpose of analysis is for the text to drive your argument, not for your argument to drive the reading of the text. When something doesn’t fit well you need to take that into account and re-evaluate your thesis. You don’t ignore/twist that wrinkle in an effort to maintain the argument you first started out with. Which is why you analyze the text first and come up with the thesis second.

Now yes, apply all this to the animation issues. We cannot simultaneously say, “Aspects of the animation prove that Blake/Yang is becoming a thing” as well as, “It doesn’t matter if we saw Clover wink at Qrow. That’s meaningless.” Authorial intent does have some bearing on how we read this, in that we’ve gotten confirmation that some animation choices - like Oscar running down the hall before punching Neo - were mistakes, but in order for that to fully drive our reading of the show as a whole we’d need confirmation regarding every single piece of animation. Did you mean for Ren to look sad in that scene? Were Blake and Weiss supposed to exchange that glance? Is it a mistake that this character rolled their eyes or was that, unlike some other things, intentional? Unless we get a comprehensive list of every animation choice - which we will literally never have for obvious reasons - analysis must function under near absolutes: either the animation has meaning or it doesn’t. Pick one and stick to it (though preferably pick the former because, as you say, of course our visuals impact the reading of the show. They were always supposed to!) You cannot say that the animation choice is full of meaning when Ren and Nora cast loving glances because you adore them as a ship, but then claim that the animation choice to have Yang, Weiss, and Blake draw their weapons on Qrow is meaningless because you don’t like the idea of the girls doing something awful and having to grapple with that. Anything else is just the behavior of the first paragraph, emphasizing the things you like because they support the arguments you also like, while failing to either a) acknowledge these other aspects at all or b) explain how they don’t actually undermine your argument like they appear to at first glance. That’s why I acknowledge the ramifications of Ironwood shooting Oscar. It doesn’t matter how much I hate it, it exists in the text and needs to be taken into account (work a). It’s likewise why I explain in detail why arguments about the Ace Ops losing aren’t persuasive. They initially look persuasive, but poke at them a bit and you’ll see all the holes (work b).

For the record, this stuff is really hard. There’s a reason why we take classes in analysis. There’s a reason why you study for 6+ years before you’re considered good enough to start publishing papers. These trends - particularly ignoring parts of the text or trying desperately to twist them into something that fits your original argument, rather than revising the argument to fit the evidence - are all mistakes that everyone makes when they first start analyzing things. I did! And those mistakes will seem very persuasive to others who don’t practice analysis enough to recognize when they - or others - are repeating those trends. Which is how you end up with posts arguing non-persuasive or even nonsensical things but are praised extensively. You have to learn how to spot those mistakes and learning how to avoid them is even harder. It’s not just a skill but a kind of mental fortitude. In order to produce persuasive and compelling analysis you have to be willing to potentially chuck your argument in the bin at any given moment. It’s a lot like science that way. Oh, something just disproved our theory? That sucks but we can’t ignore this new evidence just because we spent years chasing something else. We can’t allow personal desires to overcome facts. (Though that’s not to say the chase was wasted. The mere act of working through “wrong” arguments is an important part of hitting on the “right” ones.)

For the record, this kind of difficulty with critical thought/rhetoric is the same reason why dangerous bigotry like “Getting vaccines will give your child autism” or “Accepting trans people will lead to women getting attacked in bathrooms” take off. Those are both arguments, but the people consuming them often don’t know how to work through the evidence provided to decide if that argument is persuasive - or even know to look for evidence at all. They stop after reading the statement, taking it as an automatic fact, just like a newbie writer in their Freshman high school course may write out a thesis and think that’s it. What do you mean I have to prove it? What do you mean my proof is subjective, unsubstantiated, and is ignoring other pieces of evidence? It’s not proof at all? Oh... It gets particularly difficult when you chuck in the sheer complexities of most political situations and add in a dash of learning that the mere existence of some evidence (“evidence”) doesn’t automatically outweigh all the rest. A perfect example being:

Don’t be that woman. But all that takes time to learn and it requires the ability to admit you were wrong. Sometimes about small things (“Oh yeah, I forgot that happened!”) as well as about incredibly massive things (“Shit. I’ve been basing my identity around this inaccurate concept and using it to hurt many, many people...”) Both of which are needed to create compassionate human beings who, by default, are not born knowing All The Things Ever. Thus, this is why analyzing “stupid” shows like RWBY isn’t the useless activity that many would prefer to paint it as. If you can learn how to critically engage with what people say about your favorite show, you’re developing the same skills needed to critically engage with, say, what the president is currently tweeting about...

ANYWAY, that’s a bit more of a deep dive than the ask probably meant to produce. But here we are :D

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Anonymous

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texxasserialroundup · 4 years ago

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Incoming college students.. listen up!

I have been asked about some tips or advice for incoming college students, both traditional and non-traditional, so here it is.. enjoy!

So I am what you call a non-traditional student I did not go to college right out of high school it took a couple years for me to realize that it was important for me to pursue a higher education beyond my high school diploma. My very first freshman semester I took two classes, one of these was a developmental math course ( I ABSOLUTELY LOATH MATH!) and of course I dropped out of college soon after, honestly I don't even think I did like a full month of classes I just stopped showing up. I wasn’t motivated and all I really wanted to do was hang out with my friends and do hood rat shit (LOL) Fast forward 4 years after that, when I AGAIN decide to get my act together, it took that mixed with having some personal experiences to kind of get my head straight in regards to my future endeavors and what I want to do with myself. When I say that it's hard to do college by yourself, y’all... it is so hard, it doesn’t help that I'm an introvert who doesn’t like to ask for help from tutors because I feel like I am burdening them and I’m worried that I will embarrass myself with dumb questions. Neither of my parents graduated high school so that was no help with homework or studying and at the time I was going to a Community College and so the atmosphere is not quite like a four-year University. Everybody just kind of stays to themselves so it is not like it is easy to mingle make new friends, there is not a lot of on campus activities and stuff like that so that also made it difficult. But also I did not know how to study, honestly I'm not going to lie to you guys, I'm currently working on my third college degree and I still don't know how to study and sometimes that really kind of like puts things into perspective about our educational system in regards to the way that they teach towards a specific curriculum. I think that teaching students how to study is extremely important. The way that I get through my college classes is a lot of crying, and I am not being sarcastic, that is exactly what happens. I do a lot of crying, there is a lot of frustration, there is a lot of screaming at myself, there is a lot of self-bullying and personal demons that I battle with. I do not feel like I learn like everybody else, I cannot just read something or watch a video and retain information. Everything must be repetitive; I must read it over and over and over, I must highlight things and make up little phrases in order to remember topics like the Krebs cycle. So, it is repetitive, and it slows me down, it is frustrating, and the experience overall is overwhelming. Especially recently with covid a lot of my classes have been online which essentially translates to teach yourself a brand-new topic, good luck, and may the force be with you kind of thing. For people like me who deal with what my boyfriend calls “impostor syndrome” it really rattles any self confidence that I built throughout my college career and it makes me feel like the achievements that I've done so far aren't valid and that I don't deserve the degrees that I have and that maybe it was a mistake . With these things being said I just want to spread some positivity and some good vibes in regards to anybody who is a freshman going into college, a current college student, or a non-traditional student such as myself who feels like they might be too old to go back to school. Everybody is dealing with their own struggles and college is not easy, if it were everybody would have a college degree. Some tips from myself would be not to be afraid to ask questions, if you're like me, I have really bad anxiety and I don't feel like I can bring myself to ask a question during lecture in front of the class so I'll either email the professor afterwards or I will speak to the professor one-on-one during office hours or I'll try to grab her as soon as class is over before she leaves an ask her a question. The reason why I say this is because college moves very fast and the professors honestly it seems like they're not going to put any extra effort into helping you understand a topic if you don't express your confusion or if you don't understand the topic. At the end of the day you're paying for your college education and you need to create self-confidence and remind yourself that you're worthy and that your questions do deserve to be answered no matter how ridiculous they sound in your head no matter if you think that it will sound dumb. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting your questions answered. My second piece of advice is to utilize any type of group study offered, like I said before, I have really bad anxiety and it's hard for me to just walk up to a stranger and ask to be a study buddy. What I've noticed though is that a few students will get together or it will just be one student and they will start a group chat through either GroupMe or through text message or you know through canvas which is the educational platform that my University uses, and it really helps because you still have access to study guides, notes, or if you miss a day you can reach out and ask what you missed. As well as review and go over important topics and information posted. A lot of the times you don't even have to be face to face with these people, all of it is through text messaging or email. Another really good piece of advice is learn how to use OneNote and Google Docs and learn how to use it in a group format so that multiple people can work on one document together in real time so you can watch somebody else edit a midterm review while you're also adding to a midterm review it.will.save.your.life! Just spend a couple minutes, get on YouTube watch a quick tutorial nothing crazy just a quick rundown, y’all, I am telling you it will do wonders. Next piece of advice will have to be not to compare yourself to other students. My first semester of college at a four-year University I went all out on the school supplies, I bought so many journals, I bought so many sticky notes and planners and different colored pens and sharpies and highlighters. I had index cards, I had binders, I had sectional post-its, basically if office depot sold it I had it in my backpack. I quickly learned that I did not need half of that crap, but when you're excited about going to your first year of college you want to be prepared and if you're like me I watched other people’s YouTube videos about their experiences and things that worked for them and so I tried to pick and choose what I thought would work for me. Long story short it did not help and I think that really played a big part in my self-loathing in a sense because I would see all these other students super organized with beautiful handwriting, multi colored notes and just over the top every day, never faltering, just like the perfect student it seemed. It's okay not to be super organized, it's okay not to have the perfect notes, it's okay if all of your notes from all of your classes are in one notebook, if it works for you, it works for you. No matter what that may be, just keep in mind that this is your college journey no one else’s. Finally, I will emphasize to invest money in a good backpack. Like do not take the backpack from high school with you, I did that, and it was a disaster honestly. It is like my dad used to say growing up, “you get what you pay for.” You are going to be carrying a lot of stuff, probably a tablet, a laptop, textbooks, journals, binders, you name it and you need support for your shoulders, for you back and for your neck. I say this from experience, my college campus is one of the largest public universities in the state of Texas, it takes me 20 minutes to get from my car to the campus, once on campus, I have another eight minute walk to get to my first class. So, it is detrimental to me and my physical health to have a good backpack with support that holds everything and equally distributes the weight correctly. I know this sounds crazy but that is probably the one thing besides getting a good laptop that I would invest a lot of money in. Lastly, I will leave you with this, college is a scary experience for many people and right now we're in very uncertain times which only adds to the stress, but I want you to know that there are resources out there for you and other students and faculty who are more than willing to work with you and accommodate accordingly. Please do not be afraid to reach out to anybody for any type of assistance whether it be academic, mental or physical help, we are all in this together. Be kind to one another and stay curious. -SLR

#college #uni #college life #college stories #college tips #college freshman #college life hack #life hacks #university #student #broke college girl #broke college student #broke college kid #non-traditional student #college tips and tricks #college student #undergrad #undergraduate #incoming freshman

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readwritevibe · 5 years ago

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Maas University - Chapter 5

See Chapter 1 for summary :)

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

The second day of practice was almost identical to the first. The team began in the morning with a run, which had left Aelin feeling pleasurably sore afterwards on both days. She had found that the sunrise that painted the sky pale shades of pink and orange was a good tool to distract her mind from the fact that her body felt like it was on fire as she kept pace with the fastest runners on the team. There was absolutely no way that she would ever let on that she was ever tired. She kept her mouth shut and eyes focused ahead as they neared the last half mile stretch of their seven mile run. If any of her teammates were tired, they sure weren’t letting on either. Rowan had held his mouth in a tight line the entire run, Aelin had noted every time she had cast a sidelong glance at her teammate, which had been far more often than she cared to admit. After two days of running together, it became clear who the strongest runners were. Ansel had led the fastest group both days, practically whooping with glee, even as she panted for breath when the runs were finished. In that same group both days had been Aelin herself, a brown haired sophomore by the name of Chaol, another freshman named Nesryn, a junior named Lorcan, and of course Rowan.

The evening practice on day two was another swim, same as day one. Here, again, Aelin found herself keeping up with the fastest group, but not actually being the fastest herself. The pool was truly where Lysandra excelled the most, her movements in the water almost ethereal, as if she had been a marine animal in another life. It was for this reason that Aelin now found herself frowning on the pool deck, wrapped in her towel. It had come to her attention that her only hope for truly being the best at any leg at this point was the bike, but she wasn’t getting her hopes up for what the next morning’s ride would bring.

The sound of Coach Maeve clearing her throat pulled Aelin out of her thoughts. «We won’t be doing dry land tonight.» The air in the room stilled at the announcement, and most of her teammates either looked up from what they had previously been doing, or silenced the conversations they had been having. «I want to talk to you all about this semester’s race schedule.»

The team slowly formed a semi circle around Maeve, who stood in front of the white board by the shallow end of the pool, black expo marker already in hand. Whispers floated between her teammates, buzzing around like flies on a hot summers day. Maeve either didn’t notice or chose to ignore them, and began to write the names of a few races on the board, along with their dates and locations. Some of the races were familiar to Aelin. She had raced some of them at the high school level, although she suspected the race courses might be a little different. The majority, however, were to take place in other states, where Aelin had never competed before. She felt her frown deepen as Maeve turned around to face them again.

«For the majority of these races, we should be able to bring the entire team, barring anyone who cannot compete due to a documented excuse. Your placement in these races will effect my decision as to who I am taking to collegiate nationals at the end of this season, but ultimately, the ten people that I bring to nationals is up to my discretion. Making the podium at any of these races will certainly help your case, though.»

Aelin’s eyes narrowed as she took in the dates of the races, the earliest of which was a mere two weeks away. They were all spaced out fairly evenly, save for the quick turnaround between conference championships and nationals. She had forgotten that collegiate nationals took place in the fall rather than the spring, which was when high school nationals were. The short span of time between those two races could make training for them a bit difficult, but certainly not impossible. That was also if she made the cut for the group going to nationals. She scowled. Making the cut had never been an issue when she was in high school, but she had a sinking feeling that that would not be the case here.

As if reading her mine, the blue eyed boy beside her - Dorian, if she remembered correctly - leaned over towards her, his lips practically grazing her ear as he whispered, «She plays favorites.»

Aelin bit her lip, crossing her arms and shifting her weight from her left leg to her right. Around her, most of her teammates stood in continued silence, their attention glued to Maeve as she explained travel to and from race sites. «Who?» Aelin’s whisper was harsh and sharp, flying through the small space between her and Dorian like a well-aimed dagger.

Someone just behind them snorted, and Aelin turned to see Chaol standing in a position that mirrored the one she has been standing in moments before. «Wouldn’t you like to know?» As he spoke, his eyes never once shifted their focus from the white board.

«Yeah, that’s why I’m asking,» Aelin retorted, rolling her eyes.

Dorian looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. «How about this - come to my dorm after practice, and I’ll answer your questions if you’ll answer some of mine.»

Eyes narrowed, Aelin assessed his offer. On the one hand, learning how Maeve operated and chose the group that made it to nationals could help give her an edge over the other freshmen on the team. However, she had no clue as to what questions he might have for her, or if she could even answer them. After a few more moments of tossing the pros and cons up and down in her mind, Aelin made her decision. «Deal.»

«Any further questions can be sent to me via email,» Maeve called from the front of the room, «See you all tomorrow morning.»

«Hooray,» Lysandra grumbled as she slid past Aelin towards the women’s locker room.

«Meet me outside the main entrance when you’re done changing,» Dorian called, winking as he looked over his shoulder and headed in the other direction. Aelin only nodded before turning and following the girls to their locker room.

«I didn’t think that you’d be the one from your class to fall for his charm,» Nehemia stated as she slid up to Aelin’s left, walking side by side with her as they entered the locker room.

Aelin turned her head to look at her teammate, who was still looking straight ahead. Her thick black hair was loose, tumbling down her back and bouncing against arms as she walked. Her face was calm, and yet demanded respect. Aelin supposed that Nehemia was the living embodiment of regal grace, if she was being completely honest. «I’d hardly call the conversation that we had charming,» Aelin argued, stopping as the pair reached her locker.

Nehemia raised an eyebrow. «And yet you still decided to go home with him.»

«Only as a friend,» Aelin insisted, even as she felt the color rising in her cheeks. «And even then, only because he has answers that I want.» She dug around in her locker for her clothes, throwing them on the bench glazed, wooden bench in front of her locker once she found them, and then beginning to change.

«There are other people who have the answers you seek, you know?» Nehemia simply leaned against the locker to the right of Aelin’s, making no move towards her own locker. Aelin just looked at her, keeping her face neutral. «It’s been a long time since there was another girl on this team that I felt like I could trust, and I don’t want to see your potential wasted.»

Aelin felt her face soften as she nodded. She had to admit that Nehemia was really the only older girl on the team that she genuinely felt like she could get along with. The only other two girls she had met from the grades above her had been far too snooty for Aelin’s liking, and she had done her best to keep her distance. If Nehemia felt the same about them, Aelin could only imagine how lonely her previous two years on the team must have been.

«I could accompany you tonight, if you’d like,» Nehemia offered, shrugging. She finally began to make her way over to her own locker at the end of the bench, pulling out what looked like a loose white tank top and a pair of denim shorts.

«Sure!» Aelin finished pulling on her dark purple athletic shorts before flashing Nehemia a grin. Nehemia offered a small smile in return. «I’d love an ally.»

The two quickly finished up getting changed, and then grabbed their backpacks and made their way out of the locker room and down a narrow hallway that ended in a steep staircase. By the time they had cleared the lobby and were out the door, Dorian was already standing there, laughing at something Chaol had said.

«Hey,» Aelin called as her and Nehemia approached, waving one hand at the boys. «I’m bringing a friend!»

«Oh, good,» Dorian replied, making his way over to her with a smile on his face. He jerked a thumb back at Chaol, who scowled as he walked towards the girls as well. «So am I. Though, he’s my roommate, so it’s not as if he had much choice in the matter.»

Aelin couldn’t help but laugh, especially when Nehemia added, «I’m glad you two are rooming together again. Chaol is most of your impulse control. I’d hate to see what would become of you without him.»

«He tries his best.» Dorian looked back over his shoulder at Chaol, who was walking next to Nehemia. Chaol just kept walking, his eyes forward, but not seeming to look at anything in particular.

It wasn’t a long walk to the boys’ dorm. Their dorm building was located on a hillside halfway between Aelin’s dorm and the building on the far edge of campus where all of the first year writing seminars were held. It was on the smaller side, as far as dorm buildings went, and Aelin wouldn’t have been surprised if less people lived in this building than lived on just her floor of West Hall, especially once she saw the size of the rooms inside the tiny brick building. A set of sliding glass doors opened up into a massive lobby with a high ceiling and white marble floors. At the far edge of the lobby was the elevator, which Aelin was certain could fit their entire team and then some.

Dorian and Chaol’s room itself may have been a bit smaller than Aelin’s, but considering only two people lived in it instead of four, it was quite sizable. The door opened straight into the living room, where a full sized u-shaped couch looked towards a flat screen tv that sat atop an entertainment center made of dark wood, leaning against the wall to the right of the entrance. To the left of the entertainment center was a mini fridge. At the far end of the room was a long window, taking up the entire wall opposite of the door the group had just entered through. The last of the sun’s rays filtered through a set of partially opened blinds, casting the room with a golden light. Behind the couch was a long wooden table with a wooden bench to match, as well as four tall-backed, cushioned grey chairs. A little hallway to the left of the table led to a narrow kitchen, complete with all of the amenities of Aelin’s own kitchen.

To the right of the dorm entrance laid another hallway, which upon inspection, Aelin found led to a bathroom. There were two more sets of doors on either side of the bathroom, which Aelin could only imagine led to the boy’s individual dorms. Oh, to have her own bedroom again! She had to cast the thought out of her mind as soon as it had entered, for fear if she lingered on it too long, she might begin to dislike her own rooming situation. Though she didn’t know Feyre all that well yet, Aelin definitely liked her. She might be a little curious at times, but that was only natural. They were still figuring each other out, and even then, they still knew far too little about each other.

What really caught Aelin’s attention, though, were the vast amount of books strewn across every surface in the room. Aelin dropped her backpack by the door and immediately made her way to a pile of books on one of the shelves of the entertainment center, slowly running her fingers across the spines. She recognized most of the titles, knowing full well that she had most of the same books in her own dorm on her windowsill.

«Sorry for the mess!» Dorian stood behind the table, where he had dropped his own backpack. He held up a brown bag in his hands, and with a smile, asked, «Popcorn?»

Aelin gave a slight nod, watching as Nehemia threw her backpack at her feet and took a seat on the couch, frowning at something on her phone before typing out a response. From behind her, Chaol exhaled deeply. Aelin whirled around to watch him emerge from the room to the right the bathroom, a glass Tupperware filled with what appeared to be rice and some sort of meat and vegetables in his hands.

Dorian rolled his eyes at his roommate. «I’ll worry about a ‘real dinner’ later. We have company!» With that, he darted into the kitchen, and the sound of the microwave opening and closing accompanies by the beeping of buttons echoed throughout the otherwise silent room. Aelin was taking a seat besides Nehemia when Dorian called out, «So, Aelin, you like to read?»

«Well, I would certainly hope so.» She crossed her legs, leaning back into the couch. For something in a college dorm, it was remarkably soft. «I’m an English Lit major.»

«Really?» She could hardly hear Dorian over the beeping of the microwave. «Me too!»

«Neat,» was all Aelin offered in reply as Dorian poured the popcorn into a bowl and made his way over to the couch, setting the bowl on a small, low wooden table in the center of the couch.

«Are you looking for a job? I work at Bridge Street books, and we’re currently hiring!»

«That must be a cool job.» Aelin bit her lip, imagining being surrounded by nothing but books all day. «This team and school is probably going to keep me rather busy, though.»

Dorian simply shrugged, tossing some popcorn into his mouth. «I’ve managed.»

«Barely.» Aelin looked over to her right to see Nehemia smirking as she talked. «Remember when your TA stormed into the pool during practice last year?»

Even Chaol smiled at that. «She said that you might as well have just poured ink all over the pages you handed into her, because that was how much sense your essay made.»

«Listen,» Dorian sputtered, «Nesta Archeron is one hell of a tough grader.»

Aelin raised an eyebrow and tossed a handful of popcorn into her mouth. «I see you’ve met my roommate’s sister as well, then.»

Dorian’s eyes grew wider as the color rushed from his face. «She has a sister?»

«Two, actually.» Aelin took another piece of popcorn from the bowl. «Nesta definitely seems to be the most domineering of them, though.» She didn’t admit that despite the jokes she had made towards her roommate, she had avoided the scowling TA in her morning class today. Aelin would get to spend plenty of time with her in her recitation of Friday, she was sure. Why spoil the fun so early?

«She seemed like an interesting person,» Nehemia mused, staring at the wall behind Dorian’s head. «I kind of wish she had come around more often.»

«If she treats other people like she treated my roommate, then I’m more than fine with her keeping her distance.» Though she was an only child, Aelin liked to imagine that she would be kind to her siblings if she had had any. She would have wanted to get along with them, to be their friend as well as their sibling, similar to how she would consider Aedion her friend as well as her cousin. Nesta had just seemed so harsh and cold towards her own sister, snapping almost every other word. The thought of acting that way towards Aedion, the closest thing she had to a sibling, made her shoulders tense. Sure they teased each other, but the general feeling between them had always been rather warm, even when they had argued.

Aelin uncrossed her legs, leaning forwards towards the other side of the couch, where the boys now sat side by side. «But that’s not why I’m here. You told me Maeve plays favorites. Who?» She stared Dorian directly in the eyes.

«She calls them her ‘cadre’,» he began, his voice a low and quiet rasp. To his right, Chaol rolled his eyes. «They’re a group of boys she began to train when they were young, up until she got a job here. Most of them followed her here. Legend has it that they took a blood oath and aren’t allowed to have any other coach.»

«Bullshit,» Aelin replied instantly, narrowing her eyes. «Or, at least that last part is. Regardless, who’s in this, ‘cadre’?»

«Lorcan, Vaughn, Fenrys, Connall, and Rowan,» Chaol answered, counting off each name on his fingers. «She often includes her assistant coach, Gavriel, with them as well, but he’s obviously too old to compete for a college team.»

Of fucking course Rowan Whitethorn was one of Maeve’s favorites. Why should Aelin have expected anything less? «Okay, but I shouldn’t have to worry about competing against them for spots, right? Since men and women compete separately, doesn’t Maeve bring five men and five women to nationals?»

Dorian crossed his arms and leaned back into the couch, raising his eyebrows as he began to speak. «That would be the fairest way of doing it, I suppose.»

«But that’s not how she’s done it in the past.» Nehemia grimaced and cast a sidelong look at Aelin. «Not that we’ve really ever had five strong female competitors at one time before this year, though.»

«Even with the girls, she played favorites,» Chaol argued. «Like with Lyria.»

Aelin narrowed her eyes, trying to remember all the people she had met over the last few days. «Who’s Lyria?»

A thick silence fell over the room as her three teammates all cast looks at each other. Nehemia was sitting upright, eyebrows raised as she looked at Chaol. Dorian was also looking at his roommate, although he sat in a far more relaxed position, still reclining into the couch. Chaol just looked down at his hands, which held a fork that was now simply hovering above his remaining rice and vegetables, as if the mere mention of Lyria’s name has placed an invisible barrier between him and his dinner.

«Well?» Aelin kept her voice softer now, but couldn’t do much to conceal the impatience biting into her tone.

«A former teammate,» Nehemia supplied.

Aelin had a feeling that the full answer was much longer, but let the subject drop anyway. That at least explained why she hadn’t met Lyria at practice. She nodded, grabbing another fistful of popcorn.

«Now, my turn!» Dorian sat up, rubbing his hands together as he leaned forward. «What happened with Arobynn Hamel?»

Chaol coughed, placing his fork down into his Tupperware as Aelin analyzed Dorian’s face. His eyes were wide, filled with a twinkle that wasn’t quite mischievous, but certainly didn’t seem entirely innocent either. A toothy grin took up most of his face in this moment, but there was no hint of cruelty in his smile. «What do you mean?» Aelin wiggled around in her seat. «A lot happened with Arobynn. I’ve been training with him since I was eight.»

«Why is he under review by the national triathlon organization?»

Aelin shrugged, doing her best to keep her face neutral, even as golden brown hair and bright, brown eyes flashed in the front of her memories. «He’d know better than I do.»

«We’ve heard the rumors.» Dorian frowned. «Most of them are along the lines of Arobynn causing one of his athletes to die?»

Aelin swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat. «His name was Sam,» she managed to get out, hating how quiet her voice had become. She cleared her throat, focusing her eyes on where the wall across the room from her met the ceiling. «It wasn’t Arobynn’s fault, though. At least, not directly.»

Aelin felt a wam hand on her knee, and looked over to see Nehemia staring at her. The dark skinned girl’s eyes were soft as she asked, «What happened?»

«Car accident.» Aelin shook her head. «He and Arobynn were on a training ride, and when they were crossing a street, a car ran the red and crashed into Sam. The impact killed him.» The room had gone silent again, save for Aelin clearing her throat. She looked at Dorian, whose eyes were even wider than before, his mouth partially open, but neither in a grin nor in a frown. «Do you have any water?»

Dorian jumped up with unprecedented speed. «Yeah, sure. I hope you don’t mind tap water.»

«Tap is fine,» Aelin replied with a shrug, her voice sounding more normal this time. She could remember the moment she had found out about Sam’s death vividly, but the boys didn’t need that much detail. She had been out with Aedion for most of that day. He had driven her to her graduation practice that morning, where she had seen Sam, and assured him that she would see him later. Then, she had left, begging Aedion to take her to the big bookstore in downtown Orynth so that she could pick up some new reading material with the birthday money she had managed to save until that point. Aedion had complied, under the conditions that he get to choose where they would get lunch from after. A few hours later, the pair had made their way back to Aelin’s house, laughing about some meme Aedion’s friend had sent him as they carried their shake shack milkshakes and food inside. Aelin had ordered cheese fries. She hadn’t been able to eat cheese fries since that day.

Immediately upon entering her house, she could tell something was up. She could hear her parents talking in hushed tones from the kitchen, which contrasted greatly with the way they normally talked so freely around her. There had almost never been any secrets between her and her parents. Her father had once even told her that the only secret he would ever keep from her was what he had gotten her for her birthday.

The moment Aedion had closed the door and Aelin had called out that they were home, the talking had stopped. Aelin’s parents had emerged from the kitchen together, her mother wringing her hands, her eyes bloodshot. Her father had had his arm wrapped around his wife, and urged Aelin and Aedion to come sit with them in the living room. Aelin had never sat so gingerly on a couch in her life, her food all but forgotten as she placed it on the floor by her feet. Aedion had grabbed her hand almost instinctively. She had squeezed his hand back. Then, her parents had broke the news, and her mind had simply become a void filled only with white noise and static.

«Here you go.» Dorian’s voice brought her back to the present, where he was standing in front of her, extending a cup of water towards her.

«Thanks,» she practically whispered, offering him a small smile before he sat back down. The water tasted metallic as she drank it, reminding her of the taste of her own blood from the split lip she had acquired in one of the fights she had gotten into a few days after Sam’s death. She had managed to get herself into quite a few in the weeks after her graduation and his funeral, almost wishing for someone to get her riled up, or to say something stupid enough to warrant her punching them in the face. She was a walking contradiction those few weeks. Her blood was constantly pumping, her limbs full of energy, even as her heart was numb and her head was empty. The fight she was thinking of in particular, though, had occurred at a grad party of one of her wealthier classmates. After two drinks, the stupid bastard had boasted that Sam was basically asking to be hit by a car, if he had been riding in the streets, as may cyclists did. Aelin had taken her time bloodying him up, even letting him land a few punches on her, for good measure. Hence the split lip. Her parents hadn’t even bothered to scold her when she finally arrived home hours later, bruised and bloody in dirty clothes, and had simply stomped up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door, without so much as a, «hello!»

«So, why is Arobynn under review, then?» Chaol’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Aelin, who set her now empty glass on the table. «When we asked Aedion about it, he seemed fairly certain that Arobynn had sealed his own fate.»

Aelin simply shrugged. «Maybe because Arobynn had been riding with Sam, and didn’t warn him about the car.» Chaol still looked skeptical, and she sighed. «From what I heard, Arobynn was leading, and was crossing the crosswalk when traffic stopped, and then when he turned around to see if Sam had made it across, he saw a car run the red and hit Sam.»

Chaol sat back, humming thoughtfully to himself. Taking a deep breath and looking around her, Aelin began to stand, making her way over to the door, where her backpack still sat. Behind her, Nehemia stated, «It’s getting late. I’d better go.»

Aelin could hear a flurry of activity behind her, including the cracking of joints and some mumbled agreements with Nehemia’s previous statement. She turned around as she grabbed the door handle, intending only to say her goodbyes, but Dorian cut her off. «I’m serious about the bookstore, though, Aelin.» His eyes locked with hers, still bright despite his unsmiling face. «I’m working Friday evening. Come with me after practice.»

Aelin chewed on her lip, moving out of the doorway so Nehemia could exit. «Okay, see you then.» With that, she closed the door behind her, chasing her friend down the hallway at a brisk walk, her only thoughts on how nice a warm shower would feel right about now.

#throne of glass #acotar #crescent city #elise writes #my post #maas university fic

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