#but also remus acting coldly towards sirius for thinking remus betrayed all of them

[starsyearn]

thinking about wolfstar post-war and i’m actually crying (is that really a surprise to anyone at this point)

[blitheringmcgonagall]

All Too Well...

 @therealrjlupin sent me an ask to celebrate the reader milestone on ff.net for  We Can Be Heroes surprise, surprise asking for angsty Wolfstar!! Then tumblr ate your ask so sorry about that, here it is anyway. This is for you and for @stonecoldhedwig who wrote a very angsty Jily  My Heart Is Overcome  - very beautiful but so bloody poignant, so this is payback (also for the magnificent fanart for we can be heroes, but that deserves a lot more than this...!)

   All Too Well

“Black!”

Sirius felt his heart rate hammer and the blood pounding in his ears as he whirled around to face Snape, his wand in his right hand.

“What the fuck do you want, Snivellus?”

He was constantly on edge, ready to snap, to lose it, since he had run away from home that summer. He called it running away, but it wasn’t. Being thrown out and disowned by your own parents, with nothing but the clothes he had on that day… he had wanted to leave, Merlin yes, he had threatened to leave hundreds of times. But he had stayed. To be near Reggie. To protect his little brother. Physically protect him, certainly, but also to act as a barrier against his parents’ poisonous ideas, to stop them seeping into his immature, innocent, wretchedly gullible psyche. The Potters had taken him in immediately, kindly, enthusiastically, no questions asked.

But this constant worry about Reggie, this guilt for leaving him alone with them? His stupid, pathetic weakness in minding that his parents didn’t love him, this feeling of abandonment? He hated it, hated himself, hated everything, so much. He was irritable as fuck. Always on the offensive, and defensive, high alert, fight or flight. It didn’t help that Mulciber and his mates constantly muttered snide comments under his breath when he passed, loser, a nobody, disowned, nobody wants you. It infuriated him that it bothered him, that his throat had a habit of constricting, his stomach feeling sick every single time. Bastards. He wanted to hurt them, wanted to lash out, so badly. How many times had James and Remus stopped him mid-curse? How many times had he already found himself in Mc Gonagall’s office since the start of term?

Less than two days ago he had narrowly avoided yet another detention, he was ready to send a nasty curse Avery’s way, one of his family’s Black Specials, when Remus had appeared, breathless from running and grabbed hold of his robe and pulled him to the side. Avery had sent a curse his way and Remus had blocked it and deducted points. Once Avery was gone, Sirius had punched the stone wall, viciously, repeatedly.

“Padfoot, stop!” Remus had whispered urgently, still breathing heavily.

“I can’t,” he had whispered back, determined not to break down, hissing in pain as his bloodied knuckles collided with the stone again and again.

“Padfoot,” Remus had said, a look of horror and desperation on his face as he grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth.

He had stared in awe, momentarily stupefied.

“Don’t, please,” Remus had murmured gently, kissing his injured knuckles reverently. “I can’t bear it.”

He stood speechless for a moment, watching Remus’ face turn a warm hue.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, exhaling suddenly, their foreheads meeting.

Then they were kissing, almost frenzied, frantic, Remus backing him into the wall whispering his name over and over, all his rage and fears forgotten.

He didn’t know what it meant, but Remus’ face looked so different since then, all lit from within, golden almost. Sliding his long fingers so they intertwined with his own, under the table at breakfast and lunch and dinner. Stealing kisses behind the tapestry outside Charms and behind the greenhouse. Remus seemed to think they were… they were something. He desperately hoped so. He was too frightened to ask, but he went along with it, smirking widely and grinning like a loon every time Remus walked into his line of sight, hoping he looked cocky, arrogant, cool, collected. He did. Remus looked pleased, a warm look in his kind, moss-green eyes, a slight glow on his cheekbones, a glance his way, followed by his teeth biting the side of his lips. He looked smitten, and Sirius could feel himself melt.

“I saw you, with that half-breed, Lupin,” Snape said, quiet but calm.

He saw red, rage flaring in his chest till he couldn’t even see properly, his vision narrowed to just a pair of dark eyes and white face staring at him coldly.

“You’ll regret saying that,” he said, his wand hand raised, trembling.

“Your choice, Black, if you don’t want Lupin to end up in trouble with Bellatrix and her friends, you’ll prove that he and you are not together. Otherwise, he has a target on his back.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Black. Twenty-four hours.” “What the fuck? Why?” he shouted moving forwards with grim satisfaction as he saw Snape’s eyes fill with fear.

“That beast nearly killed me last year, as did you. Call it payback.”

“You bastard!”

His jaw was clenched so tightly, his lips practically closed. He jerked his knee up, without warning, and Snape groaned and doubled over, holding his groin.

“Mr. Black!”

It was Minerva Mc Gonagall, looking at him with concern.

“Follow me, immediately,��� she said, motioning towards him as she went to check on the other student and directed him to the Infirmary.

“This behaviour cannot continue, Sirius,” she said.

There was worry in her stern eyes, and she was wringing her hands. He said nothing, clenching and unclenching his jaw and staring ahead.

“I will have to let your-“

Sirius’ breathing hitched and his eyes widened.

“Please, not Mother, she-“ he said.

“The Potters, I will have to let them know,” Minerva said, putting out her hand and squeezing his shoulder. “Mrs. Black will not hear about this.”

He saw her concern and nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat.

“Tell them I’m sorry.”

“Tell them yourself, Sirius.”

He felt so guilty for causing them trouble, but perhaps it was for the best, once they realised how fucked up and bad he was, they would get rid of him too, better if that happened now rather than later, when he got too used to Mia’s kindness and Monty’s soothing calmness. There were tears in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

                            ……………………….

  He was a coward. He had waited till the last few hours before the deadline, chain smoking, before finally asking Remus to meet him downstairs in the deserted common room. It was late. He could see Remus stifling a yawn, looking gorgeous in the candlelight, but so tired, and worried. He was always so observant.

“What’s wrong, Pads?” he said, putting his hand on Sirius’ knee and squeezing it gently, sitting opposite him beside the fireplace. “You haven’t been yourself all day.”

He tried to smile, faking everything, but he couldn’t speak.

“This…” he motioned between them, aware his voice was trembling.

“Us?” said Remus.

“There is no us,” he whispered hoarsely.

Remus removed his hand from his knee slowly.

“Oh,” he said softly.

Sirius sent him a tight smile, vacant and empty.

“You know me, I don’t do relationships.”

“I thought… I thought you liked it,” Remus smiled.

He looked hurt though.

“I did,” Sirius whispered.

“It doesn’t have to mean… it doesn’t need to be more than…” Remus whispered, still smiling, a few tears tracking down his right cheek. “I wouldn’t mind if...”

He wanted to scream.

“No, I can’t. Sorry.”

He heard Remus catch his breath and nod slowly, watched as Remus turned away and headed back towards the stairs, stopping when he got to the bannisters.

“You shouldn’t have… you should have told me,” Remus said. “I…”

He looked dignified, and shattered.

Sirius nodded, stiff upper lip, clenched jaw, shoulders so tight they hurt, praying his tears wouldn’t betray him until after Remus left. He could see Remus frowning, as though trying to sense how he was feeling. He turned his back on Remus and gripped the mantlepiece, trying to breathe.

“Padfoot?” Remus asked quietly.

“Go,” he answered, knowing he sounded all wrong, hard and desperate.

He heard Remus sigh, heard desolate footsteps fade as he ascended the spiral staircase, leaving Sirius spiralling downwards. He didn’t deserve Remus anyway, maybe it was for the best. 

Swiping furiously at his eyes he picked up his quill and wrote a note.

 Snape,

As discussed. Done.

Sirius Black

The ink was smudged, like Prongs’ left-handed notes.

[slytherin--king-blog]

Merpeople (Scar Tissue - Chapter 24)

Summary: (AU)  A few years ago, Draco’s life changed for the worst. Still, he could live with it, he could adapt. But when another werewolf comes in Hogwarts to teach the students, it starts to get dangerous.

Their absences and behavior towards each other raise some eyebrows and Draco is afraid that a curious mind might even end up seeing right through him.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 | playlist | FF.net | AO3

Pairing: Draco MalfoyxHermione Granger, Lucius MalfoyxNarcissa Black Malfoy

Characters: (it’ll be updated every time a new character appears) Werewolf!Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Dobby, unknown werewolf, the man Lucius is meeting (so much information wow), Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Albus Dumbeldore, Rubeus Hagrid (mentioned), Pansy Parkinson, Buckbeak (mentioned), Madam Pince, Gregory Goyle (mentioned), Vincent Crabbe (mentioned), Neville Longbottom (mentioned), Madam Pomfrey (mentioned), Dolores Umbridge (mentioned), Fred and George Weasley (mentioned), Sirius Black (mentioned), Luna Lovegood, Sybill Trelawney (mentioned), Ginny Weasley,Percy Weasley, Cornelius Fudge, Alastor Moody (mentioned), Blaise Zabini (mentioned), Theodore Nott, Peter Pettigrew (mentioned), James Potter (mentioned), Andromeda Tonks (mentioned), Regulus Black (mentioned), Cygnus Black III (mentioned), Walburga Black (mentioned), Bellatrix Lestrange (mentioned), Rodolphus Lestrange (mentioned), Ted Tonks (mentioned), Druella Black (mentioned),  Abraxas Malfoy (mentionned), Abraxas’ wife (mentioned), Gilderoy Lockhart (mentioned), Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour (mentioned), Karkaroff (mentioned), Cedric Diggory (mentioned), Cho Chang (mentioned).

Word Count: 8,189

Warnings:

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

A/N:

The Werewolves Squad: @prayfordream @carry-on-you-wayward-winchesters @shit-happens-bitchachos @oceanblue-and-forestgreen @chelsea072498 @dracosmanor @lauralikenoone @mad–chill @wolfstar0scorbus @browntown630 @newtismyspiritanimal @havingmusicismylifeandworld @dreymain @sonyamd34 @teamfreewill-girl @hearted-words @hei924 @broitswinchester @sarahkate1116 @directionerpjab @criticalstardust @06132001pg @claclm @somethingabouttheway  @yandere-rat @morettigrg @grangermalfoylovechild @woundedtoaster

Hermione and Draco, laughing, left the Great Hall with quick little steps. Hermione was in front of him, holding Draco’s hand, and she turned around once in the Entrance Hall. Draco stopped in front of her, pulling her a bit towards him before interlacing their fingers.

“Well, Miss Granger, I believe it is time for us to go our separate ways,” he said playfully and Hermione chuckled, resting her free hand on his chest.

“We ought to see each other tomorrow, Mr. Malfoy,” she said and Draco smirked, tilting his head.

“Wouldn’t miss that,” he said more quietly and seriously. “I see you before breakfast?” He asked and Hermione nodded. Draco leaned to kiss her softly as he put his free hand on her waist and she reached his cheek with hers.

“Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger. It’s past curfew,” they heard a cold voice say and they broke the kiss, glancing at Snape. He seemed to be in a bad mood and they both wondered if it had something to do with them. After all, Snape knew that it probably wasn’t wise for Draco to date a Muggle-born, and maybe not knowing it might have irritated him. They also didn’t know about Karkaroff, who was the real reason for his mood. Since he didn’t seem to be about to leave, Draco took a deep breath before he looked at Hermione again.

“I see you tomorrow,” he said quietly and she gave him a shy smile before she watched him walk quickly towards the entrance of the dungeons. As soon as he had walked past Snape, their teacher followed him and ended up giving him a little tap on the back of his head as they started to go down the stairs. Hermione shook her head before she turned around. She stopped directly.

Harry was sitting on the stairs, looking at her. He was looking disturbed, probably because of what he had just witnessed. She only gave him a cold look and proceeded to walk straight past him. Harry got up and followed her quickly.

“Hermione, can you listen to me?” He asked, not talking too loud.

“I don’t want to, Harry,” she said. He could still see that she had cried, it was obvious.

“I know you don’t but-”

“Then why are you still here?” Hermione asked as she turned around, making Harry stop abruptly. Two portraits next to them asked if they we’re done, wanting to go back to sleep, and Hermione rolled her eyes before she started to walk again.

“Because we’re friends!” Harry said, his heart beating fast in his chest. He didn’t want to live what had happened with Ron all over again. He was angry, but he wouldn’t let something happen. When they had gone in their dorm, long after their “discussion” with Hermione, Ron was still really pissed. He couldn’t stop talking about it. Harry even thought that maybe he could try to calm him down but it hadn’t worked.

He had stopped Ron as he was throwing his ugly robes next to his bed, making him turn around.

“Listen, Ron, I know you’re pissed but-”

“Pissed? I’m not just pissed, Harry, she betrayed us! It’s Malfoy, Harry, Malfoy! Don’t you get it? It’s horrible, it’s- Disgusting!”

Harry had looked around. Dean and Seamus had been on Dean’s bed, apparently talking when they had burst in and they had been staring at them.

“Come on, it’s probably… It’s-”

“What, you’re on her side for that? You can’t, you know Malfoy, you know he’s bad!” Then, Ron had sat on his bed, running his fingers through his hair before he had shaken his head. “Trust me, I’d like to go back there and punch him in the face but I wouldn’t want him to believe that by doing that, I want to go out with him!”

“Not according to Ron,” Hermione said shortly, still climbing the stairs. Soon, they were in front of the Fat Lady and she quietly said the password, on the verge of tears again.

“But you know Ron, of course he reacted like that, he’s-” He didn’t finish, looking at Hermione in despair. He turned his head, saying the password louder and finally, not without complaining about it, the Fat Lady opened the passage for them. They both climbed in the portrait hole and walked in their common room.

“Leave me alone, Harry, you two have done enough to ruin my evening. I don’t want it to be totally spoiled.”

“Ron said things that I didn’t say,” Harry said firmly. “He might not see you as a friend anymore, it doesn’t mean that I don’t!” Harry said.

“Please, don’t tell me that you don’t agree with him, don’t lie to me, I saw the way you looked at me!”

“Because it’s- I wasn’t expecting you to go there with him , what do you think? It’s… Malfoy! He’s horrible, I’m worried! But still, you and I know more stuff about him than Ron does.”

“What are you talking about?” Hermione asked, crossing her arms.

“I know that… You became friends, or whatever…” Harry said a bit more quietly. Hermione frowned. “I know that after what happened with Ron last year, you guys kept talking to each other… And like you said, he even came to thank you for what happened. That’s when… It started, didn’t it? Six months ago…” Hermione looked away, feeling her cheeks becoming warmer. She placed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Yes. We talked and- and he kissed me,” she said, still not looking at Harry. This one looked away too as he heard that. It was definitely too weird. “And I’m happy he did!” She added, staring at her friend again. “Because I know I wouldn’t have dared, even though I wanted to.” Harry swallowed, glancing at her and meeting her eyes. “But keep talking, please,” Hermione said a bit coldly, clearly eager to know how on earth his point of view could be different from Ron’s.

“I know that… At the World Cup, he acted the way he did to warn you. I thought he did it because he just cared about you as… a friend. Now I know that it was more than that. I still can’t believe it, Hermione, is sounds so crazy. And you guys…” He grimaced. “Kissed and it’s just…”

“Is that all you had to say?”

“And I know he’s not… Totally what he seems to be.” Harry looked down, trying to find his words. At least, Hermione was giving him the chance to say what he had to say, he had to do it well. “I know it’s difficult for him, because of what he is. Around all the Slytherins, around… I don’t know, his family friends, I guess?” He said, glancing at Hermione who nodded curtly to tell him that he was right but had to continue. “I know it’s probably a lot of pressure, and from what we saw with Lupin, that night… It’s not easy.” He finally looked up to face Hermione, clenching his fists. He had defeated a dragon, he could speak to her. But as soon as he saw the way she was looking at him, he wanted to leave the room. Still, he swallowed. “I know about his dreams, about his Boggart…” He took a deep breath. “I know that he’s been nice with you even before he… kissed you. I know he’s probably honest. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard… Maybe I’d actually prefer if Ron was right…”

“You’d rather have him hurt me?” Hermione asked. Harry looked down. “Just because you want to be right? Just because-”

“It’s selfish, I know!” Harry said. “But… We hate him, we… Don’t understand. He’s so mean with everyone. I know he has reasons to be resentful but it’s no excuse.”

“He’s working on that…”

“You know you can’t totally change him, how could you? He is who he is…”

“What if I don’t care? What if it’s not what matters? He knows I don’t agree with what he does most of the time and he’s really trying hard to make things right. But you don’t see that because he’s not like that in front of you!”

“And you’re fine with him acting like that to keep up appearances?”

“Why do you think we went to the ball together, Harry? We weren’t supposed to! Again, it happened! We wanted people to know! Are you really thinking that it was entirely my idea? He asked me to go, he wanted people to know, and I wanted too. Because I’m tired of hiding and yes, I’m tired of his behavior! We thought it would be easier if people knew, however they might react.”

Harry looked down.

“He wanted to?” He asked as he grimaced again. Difficult to imagine, he had thought Hermione had actually asked him.

“He… He kept saying he wasn’t ready to let people know but… Krum asked me to the ball and-”

“Krum?” Harry asked, looking at her again. She sighed.

“Yes, Harry. Viktor Krum asked me to the ball. Seems like Draco’s not the only one who can tell me apart from the boys,” she said as she crossed her arms again, raising an eyebrow. Harry looked down once again.

“Sorry, I didn’t mea-”

“It doesn’t matter. He… He got jealous, I guess,” Hermione said as she looked away, trying not to smile. But Harry could see it. She shook her head. “And he asked me, he said that if he wasn’t taking his chance tonight, then he would probably keep telling himself that he wasn’t ready. And I know he would have done that. I wasn’t really ready either because I knew what it meant… How do you think they will treat him? And I knew how you guys would treat me…”

“I’m not-”

“I’ve never seen Draco so… In a few hours, I’ve never seen him smile so much… You said it, he’s having a really hard time. Do you realize what he has gone through? Since he’s nine, he has to lie to everyone, to his friends, to the rest of his family… He feels so bad, even around his parents. Why do you think I was so upset with Ron after the World Cup? He had no right to say things like that, not when Draco is already… And he has no right to tell me who I can date! Nor do you. Not just because you two hate him anyway. It’s not like he was acting the same way he does with you when he’s with me. I care about Draco and he cares about me. It just happened, Harry! You like Cho but have you ever really talked to her? And still, you’re miserable because you couldn’t go to the ball with her!”

“I’m not miserable!”

“That’s not my point, Harry! The thing is, you can’t control your feelings and I can’t control mine. I love him and if that’s too hard to understand, then I certainly don’t want to talk about it with you!”

She was about to turn around to leave when she heard Harry. He had whispered, like it was hard for him to ask. Not because he was totally against the idea, but because it was just really difficult to believe it.

“You love him?” Hermione took a deep breath before she looked at her friend again.

“Yes, Harry, I do. And he… he loves me too. He told me so tonight…” She said as she looked at her hands, playing with her own fingers. Her heart was beating fast. “I know him better than you two do, and I know that he’s honest when he’s with me. Probably more honest than he is in front of the others from his house and certainly more honest that he’s with Ron and you…”

Harry took his time to look at Hermione for a while. He couldn’t help but somehow feel happy for her. He didn’t like Draco but he couldn’t deny that the expression on Hermione’s face was making him want to smile. God, he knew Draco was genuine with her. He totally knew it. He pursed his lips, looking away for a while. That’s when he noticed Ron. He was on the stairs, a hand against the wall, staring at them. They hadn’t heard him come down, probably because he had changed and was barefoot.

“Ron-!” He let out, surprised. Hermione turned around, letting her mouth fall open. What was he doing there? When had he arrived? She wondered if he had heard the entire conversation.

“You said you were going to change… I thought you were taking a long time, so I checked and then… Well, I thought I’d look for you,” Ron said. He glanced at Hermione, not really able to read her expression. He had heard what she had just said and he was shaken. So, she really was in love with Malfoy, huh? Hermione sighed when Ron turned around to go back in his dorm. She walked slowly towards the armchairs and sat, hiding her face behind her hands. She wanted to go to her dorm, to get out of this dress and to have a good night of sleep. And then, she just wanted to be in Draco’s arms again. Harry walked towards her, sitting down next to her.

“Don’t cry, Hermione…” He said as he put his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m not crying!” Hermione snapped, looking up. Harry removed his hand at once, looking away. Ok, she was about to. She took a deep breath before she felt Harry’s arm around her.

“I can talk to Ron… If you want…” He whispered. Hermione looked at him for a second before she shook her head.

“I know you don’t want to. And I don’t want you guys to fight again just because of Draco and I… If Ron doesn’t want to be my friend anymore-”

“Of course he wants to be your friend… He was just angry when he said that.”

“I’m tired of him saying all those things when he’s angry, I don’t have to deal with his mood swings… It’s not my problem if he can’t accept the fact that someone he doesn’t like makes me happy… Why would you try to talk to him?” Hermione asked, tired.

“Maybe… Because I saw him,” Harry said. Hermione frowned, not sure she was understanding. Harry met her eyes and only looked at her for a moment before he looked away. “In the Forest, when we went to look for him after… I saw… I know he’s not… He hates being the way he is, doesn’t he?” Harry asked quietly, looking at his friend again. Hermione smiled sadly. Harry knew how much pride Draco had, he had often wondered how one body could contain so much of it without exploding, actually. And still, that day, Draco had been humiliated, miserable, clearly on the verge of tears, disgusted by himself… And still, he had let Harry help him walk, he had tried to show that he was strong enough to go on even if he had almost fallen on the floor more than once when they were going up the stairs. He knew how hard it must have been for Draco, he knew how humiliating it must have been, how desperate he must have been, how hurt and how sad… Even if Harry kept telling himself that he hated Draco, that day, he had felt a lot of sympathy for him. And when he was thinking about it, he was still feeling the same. Ron hadn’t seen, Ron didn’t know. He didn’t know about his scars, about his bite, about the way he had stepped back when Hermione had approached him. He didn’t know they had kept talking to each other, he didn’t want to accept he had only wanted to warn her during the World Cup. “I think I… Realized some time ago that he wasn’t… The way he wants people to see him. And I know why he acts this way…”

Because he was insecure, because he had been lying all his life and because he needed to lie to himself, because he would be alone without those lies, or at least he would have been if it wasn’t for Pansy, now. Because he didn’t want to be seen the way he was seeing himself. Not worthy, miserable… disgusting.

“I’m not saying I fully… understand how you could start to feel this way for him. And I’m not sure you do either, like you said… It happened. I’m not saying I’m all for it. Because I still think he’s a git.” Hermione chuckled, shaking her head a bit before resting it on Harry’s shoulder. “But he makes you happy, right? And he’s honest and he really does… feel this way, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, he does…”

“So… I guess… I’ll just have to deal with it. But please, Hermione, please… Don’t make me hang out with him and his friends, I’m don’t think I’m quite ready for that just yet. Tonight was already too much to take on…” Again, Hermione chuckled and she raised her head, looking at her friend. She knew Harry had a good heart, and she knew that even if sometimes he could be selfish, like everyone, and that he could make bad decisions, in the end, he was often thinking about his friends before himself. She took his hand and pressed it slightly.

“Thank you, Harry…” She whispered. He only glanced at her and gave her an awkward smile.

“I’m not saying I’ll make Ron… change. And I don’t want him to be mad at me so… I’ll try to do my best. Just… Try not to make it harder,” he said quietly. Hermione understood and she wouldn’t. It’s not like having people knowing about them meant they would start snogging in the middle of the Great Hall. “Maybe… I don’t know the extent of Malfoy’s efforts but… If he could try not to-”

“He’s not going to do anything, Harry. He has a lot to deal with already,” Hermione said calmly. Harry narrowed his eyes, glancing at Hermione again.

“Right… What do you think they will do to him?” He asked, thinking about the other Slytherins. Hermione turned her head, looking at the fire as she thought about it.

“I know a lot of them will probably… At least totally ignore him. Maybe… I don’t know, Harry, I just know it’s not going to be easy. But I’m sure they’re not all bad.” Harry looked at her, curious. “Maybe you and Ron should open your eyes, sometimes. Look, I met Theodore tonight, you know, the boy who was with Parkinson?” Harry nodded and remembered seeing them talking at the table during the ball. “He’s really sweet. He’s not like the others… He seemed to be very supportive, actually. And keep in mind that I had never talked to him before.”

Harry understood what she meant and he felt bad again. He looked down for a moment.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

In another part of the castle, Draco was in the common room with Pansy and Theo. He had been surprised that Snape hadn’t scold him.

When they had left the Entrance Hall, he had been sure he would say something about his relationship, about how bad it was or ask if his parents knew but he just didn’t. Draco had looked at him and Snape had understood that he was waiting for him to say something about it. All his godfather had said was “I have more serious concerns for now. You should just go get some rest, you look terrible.”

And Draco wasn’t against the idea of going in his bed. So, he had hurried towards the common room, surprised to find Theo and Pansy there. Pansy had wanted to wait for Draco and Theo had proposed to wait with her not to leave her alone. He had used the opportunity to ask a bit about Draco and Hermione, to know when they had started going out, how on earth Hermione had him date a Muggle-born but Pansy hadn’t elaborated on that question. She had simply said that they had started to talk properly during their third year and that soon, Granger had become one of Draco’s favorite subject when spending time with her. Theo was about to ask another question when Draco had walked in the room.

“What are you guys still doing here?” He asked, smiling at them. Pansy grimaced. All this silliness was disgusting.

“Stop looking that happy, it’s making me nauseated,” she said and Draco chuckled, shaking his head. “We were waiting for you,” she said. Draco hesitated. He really wanted to sleep, he actually needed to sleep. But… He also wanted to spend some time with Pansy. He glanced at the door.

So, he told them that he would change before joining them, like they had done.

But the thing was, when he walked in the dorm, he wasn’t alone. There was Crabbe, Goyle as well as Blaise. Crabbe was asleep already, but Goyle and Blaise were awake. Blaise was apparently reading on his bed while Goyle was eating Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. They both looked up at him and they just stared. Draco blinked. Blaise had that disgusted expression on his face, the same he often had when Theo was moving in his comfort zone, and Goyle was just staring. Draco couldn’t tell if he was thinking the same as Blaise, all he knew was that he looked dumb, as usual. Draco’s heart was beating fast and he felt bad, not knowing how to act. It had begun, he was being judged. He was being seen as a blood traitor.

Even if Crabbe and Goyle were extremely stupid, they probably knew better than to stay with him, not that he exactly minded. And Blaise… Well, he was already ignoring Theo. Luckily, he would just ignore him too and just look at him this way. He could live with that, he thought. Pansy had been right, he had to stick with Theo. He knew how to act around them, maybe it would be easier…He wouldn’t be alone with them in the dorm, it wouldn’t be that bad. He sighed and turned around, closing the door behind him.

He would wait. He couldn’t change in front of them and he didn’t want to try and stay in the bathroom just in case one of them would walk in. Instead, he went in the common room again, removing his robes to stay in his suit, clearly annoyed. He also loosened his tie as he let himself fall on the sofa.

“Weren’t you going to change?” Pansy asked. She was next to him and Theo was on an armchair in front of them. The fire was making him feel really good, it was always cold in their common room. He shrugged.

“Um… Yeah, no, I’ll do it later,” he said as he glanced at Pansy. She just nodded and gave him a shy smile. She had understood that there was probably at least one of the boys of his dorm still awake, but she didn’t know if they had told him anything or if he just didn’t want to try and change with them around.

“You’ll see, you’ll get used to it,” Theo said as he leaned on his seat. Draco looked at his fingers, trying to avoid looking at Theo.

“Yeah, I’m not worried about that,” he said, trying to sound convincing, like he was relaxed. He glanced at Pansy again. “You’ll be ok?”

“Draco, please,” Pansy let out as she rolled her eyes. “I’ve been ready for something like this since…” He knew since when. Since the night they had started to talk to each other again, the night he had had this horrible nightmare, the night he had been able to say he had feelings for Granger. “I’ve had time to prepare myself, I’m ready to be a loser,” she said and the boys chuckled.

“We’re not losers, come on,” Theo said as he straightened up a bit again. “At least, we know we’re not. It’s not our fault if they don’t know it.”

“I’m worried for Granger, though,” Draco whispered.

“She has Weasley’s sister, doesn’t she?” Pansy asked. Draco straightened up too as he rolled up his sleeves, starting to feel a bit hot because of the fire. Theo raised his eyebrows as he discovered Draco’s forearms. Draco had become very careful when it came to that. He had stopped letting his arms visible since his first encounter with Lupin. And it became even worse after the fight he had had with him at the end of the year. It was the first time Pansy had seen him do this since then. And she knew it was because he was more relaxed, that day. Because he had a lot of other things on his mind and that for once, he wasn’t obsessed with the fact that he was a werewolf. And it was nice. It was really nice to see him being comfortable enough to forget about his scars.

It’s not like Pansy had never seen them. But Theo hadn’t. He didn’t know about anything and she had seen him looking. He was staring, actually. Draco hadn’t noticed, though, he was looking at the fire.

“Yeah, I guess she does, but still… But you know what I mean. Potter and Weasel… I might be happy to not have them around me but she’s not going to be so glad about it. She already argued with them, they made her cry…” He said, looking down. He still hadn’t realized anything and Pansy was staring at Theo, hoping he would look up at her. He actually opened his mouth and Pansy turned to look at Draco, interrupting the boy.

“So, what do you want us to do? I can make them mad, I can hang out with Granger just to annoy them. I’m not saying I’ll like that, but I could, you know… Have some fun,” Pansy said with a smirk. Draco snorted and leaned on his seat again, finding a comfortable position.

“I’m all for it but I don’t think she’s going to be,” Draco said. Pansy looked at Theo again and this time, she was able to meet his eyes. She frowned, glanced at Draco’s arms and looked at him again before shaking her head curtly. Theo understood the message. He couldn’t ask about it. Draco scratched his head, grimacing. “I’ll talk to her about it anyway. To know how it’s going, to know what she wants to do about it, you know… We never know what she will want to do.”

                                                                              ○

“What?”

“I’m telling you,” Hermione said, holding Draco’s hand in the Entrance Hall. They had met like they had said, before breakfast. Draco had almost fallen asleep again but remembering his meeting with Hermione had been enough to make him totally wake up. What he wasn’t expecting were the two Hufflepuffs talking to him as he got out of the dungeons. He had been a bit startled and, still tired, he had probably been a bit cold, he couldn’t even remember. They were third years, asking if what the students were saying about Hermione and him was true. He had looked at them from head to toe before asking them to go away as he had glanced around, embarrassed. But they hadn’t wanted to leave without their answer. Hermione arriving had been enough for them, apparently, and they had finally left Draco in front of a surprised Hermione. He had mumbled something about them being creepy and then she had kissed his cheek and held his hand, happy to be able to display this kind of thing in public. They weren’t really all for showing too much affection in front of everyone, they liked to keep things private, but for their first day as an official couple in the school, they weren’t going to stop themselves. Then, Draco had asked how it was going for Hermione and, although he hadn’t been surprised to learn the girls of her dorm had stayed awake and asked an enormous amount of questions, he had been surprised to learn about Harry. “We had a… calm conversation about it. I was still very upset but he really didn’t want to argue, and he asked things, and he gave me his opinion-”

“Which is?” Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not the same as Ron,” Hermione said, glancing at the Great Hall. She hadn’t seen them that morning and she didn’t know if they were still in their dorm or if they were already having breakfast. She had come in the Entrance Hall with Ginny, though, who had told her she would keep her a seat next to her. “I think it’s still really hard to accept for him, I’m sure you understand.” Draco nodded, tilting his head. “But still, he said that he could… somehow understand? I don’t think he does, but he knows that you’re not going to murder me in my sleep, you know.”

Draco chuckled and his grip on her hand became a bit more tight.

“That’s probably a reassuring thought, yeah,” he said, shaking his head a bit.

“I don’t think he will still hang out with me, though…” Hermione said as she looked down. “I don’t think he will take the risk for now… He said he would try and talk to Ron but… He doesn’t want to fight with him, I can understand…”

“You understand too many things,” Draco said as he put two fingers under her chin to make her look up. “You need to stop being so… understanding.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Hermione asked, frowning a little.

“Stop thinking so much,” Draco said as he smiled a little. “When they will realize they miss you, or that they can’t do anything without you, they’ll come around.”

“How nice, Draco,” Hermione said, knowing that he was only teasing her. Draco smirked and tilted his head.

“I know. Besides, if they make it hard for you, you can still retaliate. Pansy would be delighted to help. She’ll get bored, not having as many friends as before…”

Hermione shook her head.

“I’m not going to act this way, Draco. If I have to talk to your friends, it’ll be because I want to talk to them and that they want to talk to me.”

“You’re too good, Granger.”

“I have morals, Malfoy,” Hermione whispered and Draco chuckled.

                                                                              ○

“Hey, let me help you with that!”

Hermione looked up as Theo kneeled in front of her to help her.

“Don’t worry, really, I’ve got it,” she said as she recognized him. They were leaving Arithmancy when two Slytherin girls had elbowed Hermione when walking past her. They had made Hermione drop the two books she had in her hands and, at the same time, made her bag fall from her arm. “Very witty,” had been all Hermione had told them before crouching to put her belongings back in her bag.

“Nah, wait…” Theo said as he helped her, rolling one of her parchment again before handing it to her. Then, he took the two books she had had in her hands and stood up. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly, smiling and ready to have her books back.

“Do you need help to carry those somewhere?” He asked. She didn’t need any help to carry them and he knew it, but he had been wanting to talk to her. After all, he knew that a lot of the students from his house were giving her a hard time. Even some Gryffindors were ignoring her. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to trap you or anything,” he added, seeing that she was hesitating. After all, she had just talked to him during the ball. She knew he wasn’t a bad guy, but they had never talked since then and Hermione had only ever seen him with Pansy and Draco. So she was a bit surprised. “I don’t care about you and Draco… And by that, I mean that I think it’s cool, actually.” He then nodded in the direction of the door she was heading for and Hermione smiled, nodding before they started to walk.

“Do you, really?” She couldn’t help but ask, glancing at Theo.

“Yeah, I mean… You know, even before I knew about you two, I noticed…” He said. Hermione frowned a bit and stared at him for a few seconds. “Like… He’s different. I think you’re great, he’s different in the sense that… He’s more… Happy?” Theo said, apparently focusing on finding the right words. Hermione raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t want to be rude but… How would you know?” She asked quietly, not wanting to hurt his feelings. She knew Draco had never spent time with him before the ball, he had told her so himself when she had asked about Theo. He had talked about his beliefs and that was why most of the Slytherins were avoiding him and why he had been avoiding him during their three first years at Hogwarts. Hermione had been revolted to learn that he had had to share his dorm with four of them during three years without being able to befriend them. Draco had shrugged and Hermione had been annoyed by his lack of sensitivity. Draco had just laughed and said that Theo didn’t think it was a big deal, that he was ok with being alone anyway and that now, it was different.

Hermione had noticed that he was mostly alone. But she was also curious, as well as being really touched by those words. Was she really making Draco happier?

“Yeah, I know, we’re not… Well, we weren’t talking to each other at all before. First time I actually really talked to him was when I invited Pansy to the ball. But he didn’t really talk to me. I mean, he just said he wasn’t going with her. Because I asked, because I thought, because they are close- I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t know about you back then, it was my mistake.”

“Don’t… apologize,” Hermione said, a bit taken aback. Theo wasn’t really looking at her while talking, and he seemed to be the kind of boy who was talking a lot despite being alone most of the time. And he seemed to always be really trying to find the right words, not wanting to offense anyone. He seemed a bit different from most of the Slytherins Hermione had met, he seemed to be more kind.

“But, um, we’ve been in the same dorm for four years now, you see,” he kept on going after this awkward moment for Hermione. “He’s… I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who goes around and talk to everyone to have a lot of friends, you know, so I never really minded,” he said, still looking in front of him, looking a bit lost in his thoughts. “Anyway, even without talking… I mean, we’ve been living in the same room for years, so after a while you notice things. Especially last year, I have to say. He was really different. Loads of nightmares, by that I mean he had them more often than usual, he was looking really tired and nervous, snapping even at his friends… Now he’s fine, really,” he said. Hermione blinked, still looking at him. For someone who hadn’t been talking to Draco for years, he sure was able to tell a lot about him. “See, you don’t have to talk to people to know stuff about them. You can observe. Or, if it’s the night, you can hear,” Theo added like he had read her mind. He then shook his head before he glanced at her.

Hermione knew that if Draco was aware that Theo knew about his nightmares, he would either die of shame or kill him. Probably the latter. He had mentioned them to Hermione no more than twice in the extent of almost seven months, and once was because she had asked about it herself. He really hated to talk about that and he had been very careful to make her understand that he wouldn’t tell anything more about it.

Hermione knew why Draco wasn’t, like Theo had said, “going around to talk to people to have a lot of friends”. With his condition, he’d rather stick with his closest friends. She had actually wondered how Pansy and him had become so close because she knew that he had met Crabbe and Goyle before coming to Hogwarts, probably when he was a young child.

At the same time, she felt bad. She knew that Theo didn’t have a lot of friends, if he had some at all besides Pansy and Draco. Were they actually friends? She didn’t even know, but clearly, their relationship had made Theo and Draco hang out more together. It was a good thing because Theo was really nice. But clearly, if he didn’t mind walking around with a Muggle-born in the castle, she could understand why some students were reluctant to be his friend.

Hermione stopped. They had arrived near the Gryffindor Tower and she smiled at Theo.

“Well, thank you for your help, Theo,” she said before he handed her her books.

“It’s no problem, really.”

“I’ll see you around, then?” She said to make him understand that she was fine with him talking to her. Theo only smiled before he turned around to leave.

                                                                              ○

Harry walked in the library quietly, looking around to try and see if Hermione was there. He wasn’t exactly surprised when he saw that Draco was there, as well as Ginny. Apparently, they were working on their homework in silence. Seeing Hermione and Malfoy sitting next to each other like that was a bit weird. Harry swallowed, took a deep breath and decided to walk towards them. Draco was the first one looking up and, after meeting Harry’s eyes, he glanced at Hermione. She finally noticed Harry too and straightened up a little, making Ginny look.

“Hermione, can I talk to you?” Harry whispered, not wanting to disturb the other students working in the library. Hermione nodded, glancing at the seat in front of her. Harry glanced at Draco again. They stared at each other for a moment before Draco looked at his parchment again. He knew how he had to act, he knew Hermione was missing her friends. He wasn’t going to say anything to Harry, but he was carefully listening, not writing anymore. He knew that Harry and Hermione were sometimes talking briefly when Ron wasn’t around, but that it was still difficult. Draco didn’t like that. If Potter wanted to be her friend, he could do so in front of Weasley.

“What is it?” Hermione asked, putting her quill on the table and looking at Harry.

“I figured out the clue for the second task yesterday and-”

“You told me you had done so already weeks ago!” Hermione let out, frowning. Harry waved his hand.

“Whatever, Hermione, now I know for sure…” He said, looking away. Draco glanced at him again, curious. “It’ll happen in the lake, I’ll have to retrieve something inside it,” he started to explain. He then told her about the song and by doing so, that something would be taken from him, something really important for him. But he had no clue what it was. “Do you think the merpeople are there as an obstacle?” He then asked. If someone could know something about them, it was probably Hermione. But he was surprised when he heard Draco taking part in the conversation. He had started to write on his parchment again but apparently, he had also been listening to the conversation.

“They’re not exactly mean,” he said distractedly. Hermione and Harry both looked at him and after a moment, when he noticed, he looked up. “Don’t look at me like that, I wouldn’t be against the idea of them drowning you.”

Hermione pursed her lips and shook her head. Harry bit his lip from the inside of his mouth, actually amused. Or almost amused. He would never admit Draco had been amusing.

“How could you know?” He asked.

“We see them sometimes in the common room.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The lake, Harry,” Hermione said, looking at her friend again. “It’s against the dungeons.” She could remember Draco talking about it. It was the reason it was so cold in their common room.

“Oh, right,” Harry said, remembering how the common room was looking. Draco raised an eyebrow, staring at Harry for a second. This one avoided meeting his eyes. He had no idea Ron and Harry had used Polyjuice Potion in their second year to talk to him about the heir of Slytherin. “But still… You can’t know how they act just because you see them, can you?” Harry asked as he glanced at Hermione. Draco considered him for a moment before he leaned on his seat, tilting his head.

“You know, Potter, it’s not because you had someone doing most of you homework for you until now that it means other people can’t pick up a book.”

“Draco, please…” Hermione said, glancing at Harry.

“Unless you upset them, they shouldn’t attack you. If it weren’t for Vampires and Hags, they’d be classified as Beings, not Beasts. They refused that status not to be compared to them. They’re not animals,” Draco kept on going. Harry looked down at the table for a second, understanding what might have upset Draco even if he hadn’t meant to offend him in any way, this time.

“Draco,” Hermione whispered again, this time looking at her boyfriend.

“It’s fine, Hermione,” Harry said and Draco raised an eyebrow again, still staring at him. “If you say so, I’ll believe you,” he added. Draco considered him for a second before he looked at his parchment again. “I still have a problem, though,” Harry said as he looked at Hermione. “How am I supposed to breathe under water during an hour?”

Hermione definitely stopped working on her homework to try and help Harry find a solution.

“I talked about Aqua-Lung to Ron. We thought that I could Summon one from the nearest Muggle town,” he said.

“What is it?” Ginny asked, looking at Harry with an expression clearly showing she had no clue what was an Aqua-Lung. Harry started to briefly explain what it was while Hermione was thinking about it and Draco couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. Harry noticed that he had stopped working too, his quill was on the table, his books were closed and his parchment was rolled.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asked, narrowing his eyes a little. Draco shook his head.

“It just sounds really foolish. It’s just an example of why Muggles are so-” he stopped himself, crossing his arms. “Anyway. I don’t think it’s a solution,” he said, glancing at Hermione before looking away. Harry had been a bit surprised. He was really trying to do better, wasn’t he?

“I think Draco’s right,” Hermione said. “Not only because it would take you way too long to get ready and find out how it works but because you would be breaking the International Code of Wizarding Secrecy. You can’t Summon something from a Muggle town and expect people not to notice. The best, really, would be for you to know how to do human Transfiguration… But we don’t learn about it before our sixth year, I think, you would probably be in danger just by trying…”

“Maybe Moody could do it for me, I’d just have to attack someone in front of him,” Harry said and Ginny put her hand on her mouth not to laugh. Draco shot a nasty look at Harry who tilted his head. He was only joking but the expression on Draco’s face was priceless.

“He wouldn’t let you choose what you’d be turned into, though,” Hermione said, still very serious. “You probably need to learn some sort of charm instead…” Harry sighed.

“I’m going to start looking for something, then,” he said before he stood up. He glanced at Draco and Hermione again. “Can I do it here?” He then asked. Hermione smiled at him and nodded. Draco didn’t do anything. As soon as Harry walked away to go find some books, he looked behind him. He saw Draco leaning to get closer to Hermione and, a hand on her back, he whispered something in her ear. Hermione smiled and clearly tried not to giggle before she looked at Draco. They were so close, talking to each other… Harry felt a shiver going down his spine and he shook his head. He had to find a solution for the second task. He was already glad he had been able to show Hermione that he really was trying to be fine with the situation, even if it was taking him some time.

It was the second week of February already and things had changed. Now, the students were used to see Draco and Hermione hanging out together when they weren’t with their friends. Hermione was mainly spending her time with Ginny and Draco was usually hanging out with Pansy and Theo. Harry had already seen Hermione talking with Theo a few times and that was the weirdest thing, because even he was used to see her with Draco, now. This relationship wasn’t the main subject of conversation in Hogwarts anymore even though some students were still talking about it, were still looking at them, sometimes curious, sometimes excited, sometimes disgusted. It depended on who was looking.

Ron was still not talking at all to Hermione, avoiding her as much as possible and Harry was staying with him, even if he was sometimes exchanging a few words with his other friends. Sometimes at breakfast, when Ron wasn’t there yet, he was asking her how she was doing, they were talking about the tournament or about how Harry was doing. But that was about it and it was weird. Harry was missing his friend and he knew that Ron was missing her too. She had become an important part of their lives. Still, Harry could understand Ron’s point of view and he was sure that somehow, Hermione was understanding too. But Harry knew that she was doing the right thing by leaving him alone. At least, now, he wasn’t leaving the room they were all in whenever Hermione and Draco were spending time together. He wasn’t staring at them anymore but he was still getting angry, sometimes, and it was making him say nasty things. But Harry guessed he was slowly getting used to the idea. It had been almost two months since the ball, he had had time to accept the situation, even if he still couldn’t deal with it properly. He was just hoping it would change for the best. That maybe Ron would be able to change his behavior towards Hermione and try the way he was trying.