#but also it's like hey that's interesting how artists express themselves wildly differently on a similar idea and using the same art medium

[monstermonstre]

just realised that a lot of the praise that the fabelm*ns (2022) has gotten, that I personally think is mostly unearned (and this isn't a comment on spielberg's personal life or career that I both respect, but a comment on a film that I think fails on multiple fronts, probably not for him but for anyone outside of himself or his family watching), could apply to afters*n (2022) too, and more deservedly so

anyway if you're interested in a fictionalized depiction of a real life relationship between a parent and a child via memories, real and reimagined, through the medium of film and pictures, watch afters*n (2022)

[corishadowfang]

Cut Scenes: Putting Up Posters

Working on editing the current draft for On my Heart, and I’ve come across a chapter that I’m likely going to have to cut, and I am...so sad about it.  A lot of the stuff that’s here is going to be recycled and used in different places throughout the story, but I wanted to put the scene as-is somewhere.  (Disclaimer: The scene itself is currently only lightly-edited.)

The scene itself is under the cut!  (Also, head’s up, this is about...13 pages in Word, so...not a particularly short scene.)

Trigger Warnings: Aiden has a panic attack and a flashback towards the end of the scene.  Please stay safe and don’t read if you think that’s something that might be difficult for you.

           ___________________________________________________

           He stayed a few paces behind Jackie as she walked into the city, trying to ignore the glances she kept sending his way.  This is stupid, he thought bitterly.  I’m not going to do anything bad.  How the hell am I actually supposed to put these things up with her watching me the whole time?  He shot her a frustrated glance.  It’s not like she wants me to get pardoned.

           But he had to do it sometime.  Otherwise, what else was he supposed to do?

           Aiden took a deep breath, free hand slipping into his pocket.  Nothing met his fingers, and he fumbled around a bit, patting his pockets, before cursing quietly and slapping a hand over his face.  Shit, I forgot the tape.

           Kiru tilted his head and trilled quietly.

           Aiden’s hand ran down his cheek.  Okay, okay.  This is—fine.  It’s fine. I just have to—give them out, I guess.

           His eyes darted around the street, pointedly not focusing on Jackie’s back.  “Uh.  Hey!” He tried to wave a person down.

           Jackie stopped, giving him a confused look, before seeming to realize the statement hadn’t been directed to her.  Her eyebrows furrowed.

           Aiden’s cheeks burned. He tried not to look at her.

The man he’d waved down gave him a slightly befuddled look.  “Did you need something?”

           “Uh.”  He shoved the paper into the man’s hands.  “Here.”

           This is not fine.

           The man took it with a slightly confused expression, but Aiden turned on his heel and left, hurrying past Jackie.

           Jackie, to his surprise, didn’t say anything, and he didn’t stop to look at her expression.

           This is stupid.  This is so dumb, they’re going to figure it out, I’m going to get caught, or they’re going to think I’m some weird—I don’t know, criminal sympathizer, even though I’m not, I’m not a criminal, I—

           Kiru tugged on the papers.

           “Wha—Kiru, wait, what are you doing?”

           Kiru pulled one free, in the process causing Aiden to lose his grip.  Some of the papers scattered, and Aiden fumbled to catch them.

           Kiru ignored him, instead taking the poster and running to a passing woman.  She bent, looking slightly confused.

           Aiden ducked his head, cheeks burning.

           Abruptly someone shoved a poster in his face.

           Aiden yelped, tumbling backwards.

           “What is this?” Jackie asked, voice pitching incredulously.

           “A, uh.  A poster?”

           Jackie gave him an exasperated look, then looked at Aiden’s crudely-made poster. “‘Provenance’s Dragon isn’t the monster you think he is.  He acted in self-defense.  He was attacked by a man named Tyson Gable.’”

           “Well, I—he was.”  Aiden looked glumly at the stack of posters.  He wasn’t much of an artist; his attempts at rendering a dragon looked more like blobs (but he supposed that made it less real).  He couldn’t say he was much of a story-teller, either, and had ended up throwing whatever he could think of haphazardly onto the paper (but it was the truth, wasn’t it?).  The posters were obviously created by an amateur, and probably wouldn’t be taken seriously.

           This was dumb.

           Kiru returned and stole another poster, running back down the street.

           Jackie asked, “What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?”

           Aiden struggled not to grind his teeth.  “I don’t know.”

           “You don’t know?”

           Aiden stood, clutching the posters a little tighter.

           “What the hell are you trying to do?  Stir up sympathy?”  Jackie waved the poster at him.  “Did you think these would work?”

           “Not so loud,” he hissed. “Just because you might want to get caught—”

           “I don’t,” she growled, looking like she was a half second away from throttling him.  “I want to get to the bottom of—whatever this is.”  She gestured vaguely at him, and at Kiru, who had returned for another poster. “But I don’t want to babysit you while you’re throwing these half-assed attempts to get out of punishment at people, especially if you might get us caught.”

           Fury burned bitter in Aiden’s throat and chest.  He whipped around, stalking up to someone.

           “Aiden—”

           “Hey,” Aiden said, sounding bolder than he actually felt, “you know Provenance’s Dragon?”

           The man blanched, then looked around wildly, confusion flashing across his face.  “Yes?”

           Aiden shoved a paper towards him.  “Well, there are things you don’t know about his case.”

           Kiru trilled approvingly.

           Aiden tried not to feel self-conscious as the man took the poster.  ‘Half-assed attempts.’  We’ll see.  I’ll show you that I’m not—

           The man’s exasperated sigh broke through his thoughts. “Sure, kid.  I’m sure this is accurate.”

           “Wha—it is!”

           “Sure, sure, and you know more than the police.”  The man gave him a patronizing look.  “We don’t need any more people trying to justify dragons.”

           “I’m not—”

           The man shoved the paper back into his chest.  “Listen, I don’t care if you want to play at social justice, or whatever, but leave me out of it.”

           Aiden gawked as the man left.

           Kiru let out a hiss, then snorted decisively.

           “See?” Jackie said.

           “It’s one person,” Aiden insisted, turning away pointedly.

           Jackie caught his arm.

           “Let go.”

           “If you want to get yourself caught, then be my guest, but I’m not letting you act reckless while I’m still around.”

           Kiru bit her.

           Jackie jerked free, holding her arm tightly to her chest, eyes blown wide.  “And call your Familiar off.”  Her voice went unusually high.

           Aiden muttered, “Like he’d listen,” at which Kiru made a pointed snort.  Aiden took a deep breath and hurried forward, hoping Jackie would keep her distance long enough for him to do something. “Hey,” he said, flagging down another person, “can I talk to you about Provenance’s Dragon?”

           The woman made a disgruntled face.  “I’ve heard enough about that brat on the news.”

           “I-I, I’m not—it’s not really like that, I just—oh, you’re leaving, o-okay.  Uh, hey! Hey you!  I have some information on Provenance’s Dragon.”

           The man said, “That should really go to the police.”

           “It’s, um—it’s not really that kind of—hey, wait!” He turned in a tight circle, trying to catch the eye of someone else.  “Here!”  He shoved the paper into their chest.

           They jumped back, startled, crumpling the paper and walking away.

           “You know,” someone said, startling him, “if you’re interested in Provenance’s Dragon, you’re talking to the wrong crowd.”

           Aiden whipped around.

           A man leaned against a building, watching him with a wry look.

           “I-I’m sorry?”

           “Your average person?  They don’t give a shit about this whole thing.  Well, aside from the whole ‘dragons may attack us’ thing.” The man pushed away from the wall. “But I can tell—you’re a kid who gets it.”

          “I—thank you?”  Aiden blinked, ignoring Kiru as he stood tense on his shoulder.  “Who—who are these people?”

          Someone grabbed his arm roughly, and it took him a moment to realize it was Jackie.  “He’s not interested,” she growled.

          The man lifted his hand.  “Easy, easy, just trying to pass along information.  Kid seemed curious—”

          “We don’t want anything to do with Familiar users.”

          The man barked a laugh.  “Lady, you know that there are tons of Familiar users out there, right?  What, do you put them all under the same label?”

          Jackie tugged him away.  “We’re leaving.”

          “Jackie, wait!”  

          But Jackie was still stronger than him, and she tugged him unceremoniously into an alleyway, whipping him around to face her without letting go of his arm.  “Drop the posters.”

          Aiden tensed.  His grip on them tightened a little.  “No.”

          “Drop them.”

          “N-no!”

          Jackie narrowed her eyes.

          Aiden struggled to meet her glare, steeling himself as best he could, heart thundering.  He managed a few seconds before he lowered his head, his grip on the posters loosening a little.

          Kiru, however, didn’t seem ready to relent; he twisted down Aiden’s arm, chittering angrily in Jackie’s direction.

          This time, Jackie didn’t move, though she did tense a little.  “This is both dangerous and pointless.  You understand that, don’t you?”

          “It’s not.”

          “It’s not?  How is going up to people in the street talking about Provenance’s Dragon, unprovoked, not dangerous?”

          “Y-you know, ‘unprovoked’ makes me sound like—like a criminal, and that’s probably a little harsh for handing out posters.”

          “Like it or not, you are, a criminal, and—why is this thing still growling at me?”

           Kiru’s flames whipped wildly, a low rumble running through his throat.

          “Because he doesn’t like you.”

          Jackie gave him an unimpressed look.  “Familiars can’t form opinions on people.  They can figure out whether someone is a potential threat—which is what I guess it’s responding to.”  Jackie made a face, her grip on Aiden’s arm slackening enough that he could pull it free.  “But they can’t think for themselves.  They’re not really alive.  They’re man-made abominations.”

          Kiru’s growl deepened, and he jumped off Aiden’s arm.

          Aiden rubbed his wrist.  “What’s your problem with Familiars, anyways?”

          Jackie gave him a look that he couldn’t read, one hand twitching towards her leg.  She glanced aside.  “Humans were never meant to use magic,” she began, carefully.  “According to the Old Stories, humans and dragons were created at the beginning of time as balancing forces: one to guard magic, and one to guard creation.  They were meant to shape the world together.  But they fought instead, leading to dragons’ extinction.”

          “Didn’t peg you for the religious type.”

          Jackie turned her stern look back to him.  “And now we think we can use what remains of these creatures we drove to extinction for our own benefit?  Like we didn’t cause the genocide of their species?  How arrogant are we?”

           Aiden’s throat went dry.

           “Familiars should’ve never been created.”  Jackie released a heavy breath, kneeling reluctantly and fiddling with her bag. “I need to—to fix my prosthetic,” she said quietly.  “And then we’re going back.”

           A vague sense of hopelessness washed over Aiden, a heaviness in his chest and a bitter taste in his mouth, his mind turning over Jackie’s words slowly.  That’s not—that wasn’t our fault. Not the fault of anyone living now, anyways.  And—if we didn’t have Familiars, magic would’ve just disappeared entirely, right? Another, more terrifying thought fled through his mind.  If we’d never made Familiars, then I would’ve never met Kiru.

           It wasn’t until then that it dawned on him that his Familiar was still missing.  He whipped around, looking for some flash of blue.  “Kiru?  Kiru!”

           The Familiar didn’t reappear.

           Jackie didn’t seem to be paying attention, slowly detaching her prosthetic, her attention focused on her bag.

           Aiden sidled down the alleyway.  He couldn’t have gone too far, right?  He has to be this way somewhere.

           When he came to the mouth of the alley, he still didn’t see Kiru immediately.  Then blue flashed in the crowd, weaving amongst the people.

           “Hey,” Jackie called, “what are you doing?”

           “Just need to get Kiru,” he answered, ignoring Jackie’s cries of protest as he hurried down the street.

           The Familiar had some distance on him, and had always been faster, leaving Aiden struggling to catch up as he wove through the crowd.  “Kiru!” he shouted, hoping the Familiar would listen and come back.  He didn’t—whether because he didn’t hear or because he didn’t want to, Aiden wasn’t sure.  Aiden picked up the pace, trying to weave his way through the crowd a little better, eyes firmly on the distant speck of blue.

           Kiru slowed after a time, eyes turning to something up ahead.

           Aiden took the chance to close the distance, lunging and catching the Familiar.  “Got you!”

           Kiru yelped, squirming, before seeming to realize who held him, tilting his head backwards.

           Aiden quirked an eyebrow at him.  “What are you doing?”

           The Familiar huffed, then struggled free.  Aiden let him, watching as Kiru moved to get a stick.  The Familiar dragged it through the dirt, occasionally glancing back at something.

           Aiden tilted his head, then moved closer.  The shaky lines in the ground vaguely resembled letters: a squiggly ‘s,’ a lopsided ‘c’, something that vaguely resembled an ‘o.’  “What are you—why are you writing?”

           Kiru dropped the stick with a huff, looking away.

           “Kiru.”

           The Familiar reluctantly returned, phasing into Aiden’s hands.  Vague frustration wormed through Aiden like a faint flame, along with images of Jackie scowling at them, echoes of her words about Familiars ringing through the back of Aiden’s skull.  He blinked several times.  Because of Jackie?  It doesn’t matter what she thinks.  We know better.

           Yeah, but—  More images, this time of reports on Provenance’s Dragon.

           Aiden’s eyebrows furrowed.  I’m not sure I get what you’re trying to say.

           Kiru huffed, the frustration bubbling briefly before it was roughly shoved down.

           Kiru, come on.

           The Familiar didn’t respond.

           Aiden bit back a frustrated sigh.  Be that way, then.  He leaned forward, brushing his fingers through the dirt.  What were you trying to write, anyways?  You’re not normally all that interested in writing.  

           It wasn’t until that moment that he finally glanced upwards.  He stiffened.  White Water High School stood in front of him, quiet for the moment, students and teachers likely still inside.

           Aiden scrambled to his feet and stumbled a few steps away.  Something clenched tightly in his chest.  Oh.  His hands shook.

           Kiru tuned back in briefly, faint curiosity and concern briefly bubbling underneath his frustration.

           Aiden took a couple of measured steps forward, fingers locking around the chain link fence.  He swallowed convulsively.  What period is it?  It’s not even noon yet.  Second period?  Third? I’d be in Math or History, then.

           His fingers tightened, hard enough that faint pain radiated through them.  Did any of them notice when I disappeared?  Did they care?  Did James and the others wonder if something happened because they didn’t show up?  His throat felt too tight, his eyes hot.  If they had—if they’d just come like they said they would—then I would’ve never been on River Road when Tyson was there, and I never would’ve been attacked.  The school blurred.  I should’ve known better.  I shouldn’t have gone.  Stupid, stupid—of course they didn’t actually want to hang out with me, I’m just that crazy kid who talks to his Familiar, they were just humoring me, and now—hell, who’s going to want to be near me know?  No one trusts a dragon.

           “I should’ve just left you,” a voice spat, and for a moment Aiden thought he’d imagined it. He didn’t turn, waiting as Jackie stomped closer.  “You can’t just run off.”  She stopped, and several silent seconds passed.  “Why did you come to a school?”

           “I didn’t.  Kiru did.”  He took a shaky breath.  “It’s my high school.”

           Jackie didn’t respond. Several moments passed before she said, quieter, “We should go.”

           “Y-yeah.  Yeah, I know.”  Reluctantly, he pried his fingers away from the fence.

           “Hey!” someone shouted. “What are you two doing?”

           Jackie and Aiden whipped towards the voice at the same moment.  That was the first time Aiden noticed the police car parked in front of the building—and the officer coming their way.

           Every thought seemed to screech to a halt.  For a moment, he couldn’t breathe, his mind scrambling for purchase on the thoughts that kept sliding by, Kiru shouting warnings that weren’t made of words or images but sensations and emotions that said he needed to go, they needed to do something.

           They’re here because of me, he realized, managing to catch hold of one of the floating thoughts.  They’re here because I used Mach Five, and they need to find me, and now I’m right here in front of them—

           The thought was enough to shake him out of his stupor.  “Jackie,” he said, turning around.

           But Jackie wasn’t there.

           Aiden froze, suddenly uncertain of what to do, his mind screaming, She left me, I knew she didn’t like me, but she was supposed to be watching me, how could she just—

           The frantic thoughts gave the police officer enough time to reach him.  “Shouldn’t you be in class?” the officer asked.  “And where’d your friend go?”  The officer frowned, staring down the street, likely in the direction Jackie had gone.

           Maybe he should chase her, Kiru thought.  She’s clearly the dangerous one.

           Aiden, mouth dry, heart hammering in his ears, couldn’t respond.

           The officer glanced down at him, eyebrows furrowed.

           Aiden tried to shift away.  It’s fine, he thought.  It’s fine. He doesn’t recognize me.  I’m wearing a disguise.  He doesn’t know.

           But is it good enough?  What if he sees right through it?  What if, what if, what if—

           “I’m home schooled,” he blurted, far too late.

           The officer gave him a scrutinizing look.  “Your parents just let you wander around during the day?”

           “I-I don’t have a set schedule.”  

           The officer was still giving him that same look.  Slowly, his attention turned to something lying on the ground.

           Aiden’s gaze followed, and his heart leapt into his throat.  The posters.  He swiped them, trying to clutch them tightly to his chest.

           The officer peeled one away.

           “H-hey!  Give that back.”

           The officer’s expression turned unreadable.

           Aiden held his breath, half-poised to run.

           “What,” the officer asked carefully, “are you doing with this?”

           “I-it’s for a project.”

           “Is it, now.”

           Aiden’s mind scrambled to find a response, but he couldn’t come up with something convincing, his brain screeching to a panicked halt.

           “Kid, you know this is a dangerous criminal, right?  I realize that the idea of turning into a dragon might be appealing, but you can’t just latch onto anyone who does that.”

           Anger forced its way past Aiden’s reservations, and he snapped, “He’s not a criminal!”

           The officer gave him a searching look.

           “I-I mean, wasn’t—there’s more to the story.  Probably. And everyone’s just—making assumptions.”

           The officer watched him a long moment.  “Maybe,” he said slowly, “but Mach Five is still illegal for a reason.  We need to set an example, or else we’ll have chaos.”  He gave the poster another careful look.

           Aiden’s heart stuttered.

           “Where are you even getting this information, anyways?  The Chief’s the one who has the most information on the case, but I don’t think he ever released some of this.”

           Whatever self-control Aiden had fled.  He turned on his heel, sprinting away, barely hearing the startled shout of the officer over the rushing of his own blood.  He hadn’t made it far when someone caught the back of his hood.  He jerked, struggling, trying to free himself from the confines of his jacket.  He’d just started to wiggle free when the officer caught his arm.  The officer mouthed something, eyebrows furrowed, but Aiden couldn’t hear anything over the thundering of his heart.

           He knows.

           He struggled, trying to kick free.

           He’s going to arrest me.

           The officer reached for something in his pocket.

           He knows he knows he knows he knows—

           He reached, desperate, for Kiru’s familiar warmth, and the Familiar answered.  Magic tugged free—

           Keep hold of it.  Guide it where it wants to go.

           —and pulsed towards his chest, bubbling through in a burst.  Blue flames streamed from underneath his shirt, billowing wildly beside his face.

           The officer whipped back towards him, a startled expression crossing his face. Electricity was already crackling along his fingertips.

           Don’t let him.

           Aiden wasn’t sure whether the thought was his or Kiru’s, but he funneled the excess magic into his hand, firing his own burst of electricity, however weak and unfocused, at the officer.

           The officer, on reflex, pulled away, releasing Aiden in the process and summoning a shield.

           Aiden fell back, posters scattering across the ground.  Whatever tenuous hold he’d had on the magic—Mach Stage?—fell apart, the flames disappearing and the strange, tingling, hot-cold feeling in his chest fading.

           Move!

           The voice was undoubtedly Kiru’s, the school and the street turning dark, shifting into a nighttime road beside the river, the officer morphing into the grisly form of Tyson, his own magic flaring unstably along his arms.

           For a moment, Aiden had the inexplicable, overwhelming urge to lunge at him, a guttural voice inside him growling, This is your fault, you did this, you made me—

           Aiden, run!

           But he couldn’t win, he’d end up back in the river, ad this time he might not come back up for air—

           He wasn’t sure where he was.

           He fell, hands skidding across the sidewalk, pinpricks of blood bursting on his palms where they scraped the gravel.  He took several shaky breaths.

           It was daylight. Wasn’t it night a moment ago? Where was Tyson?  Why wasn’t he on River Road?  Wasn’t he just—

           A car rushed by, and Aiden flinched away, scrambling into an alley.  He shoved himself behind a dumpster, head bent beneath his knees, hands lifted to clutch the back of his head, breaths shuddering in his chest as his stomach rolled.  Bile rose in his throat and filled his mouth.  He held it in, breathing sharply through his nose, in and out, swallowing it again and trying not to take great, heaving gulps of air.

           A voice that sounded eerily like his mother’s whispered, Breathe in slowly.

           I can’t.

           You can.  Steady. With me.

           Aiden tried to take a deep breath.  It caught in his throat and rattled against the top of his ribcage.

           Try it again.

           He did, still shaky, still not deep.  On a third attempt he managed to drag a decent amount of air into his lungs.

           Hold it and count to five.

           He scrunched his eyes closed and counted silently.

           Now release, slowly.  Count to five.

           Aiden obeyed.

           Repeat the process.

           He followed the instructions, taking slow, deep breaths until he felt less light-headed and nauseous. He rested his head against his knees, sweat slick against his pant legs.  Thanks.

           Kiru said, That wasn’t me.  His voice sounded oddly strained.

           Oh.  So I’m imaging it.  Good. Great.

           But then a voice—still familiar, but not the one he expected to hear—asked, “Steady?”

           He lifted his head so quickly it spun.

           Jackie crouched in front of him, hovering close by, like she wanted to approach but didn’t quite dare, an odd expression on her face.

           What had happened slowly trickled back to Aiden, and whatever shock he felt, whatever gratitude—had she been the one to talk him out of his panic attack?—fled in the face of the anger that rose in his throat, bubbling out like fire.  “You left.”

           Jackie didn’t deny it, just stared at him with the same unreadable expression.

           “Why?”

           Jackie glanced aside.

           The anger burned his throat, but it felt good, warm, because didn’t he deserve to be angry, after all this?  It wasn’t even my fault! “Oh, what, were you hoping the cop would just take me?  Was he one of your friends?  Real nice of you, glad to know where your loyalties lie.”

           “I didn’t want them to see me.”

           Aiden laughed incredulously.  “What? With a dragon?”  He spat the word, the tears that sprung to his eyes as hot as the words in his throat. “Well, you know what?  I guess that’s fair.  No one else wanted to be seen around me, either, but hey, who’d want to spend time around the crazy kid who talks to his Familiar?”  His fingernails dug into his scalp.  “I guess it’s fine, everyone hates me, anyways, so what’s one more?”

           Jackie turned back to him, expression twisting between discomfort and frustration.  “The hell, kid, you did use Mach Five—”

           “I didn’t ask to be a monster!”

           The words echoed through the alley.  Everything fell silent, save for Aiden’s ragged breathing.  For a moment they stared at each other, Aiden trying desperately to control his breathing again, Jackie studying him with a wary expression.

           Exhaustion swept through Aiden.  His head drooped beneath its own weight, and he planted both hands on it, staring blankly at the ground.

           Kiru sent waves of comfort, and Aiden allowed his own emotions to coil with it.

           Jackie murmured, “We should head back.”

           Aiden nodded, a quick, jerky motion that made his head spin.  He got unsteadily to his feet.  He reached for his hood before remembering he didn’t have his coat anymore, and instead opted for hunching his shoulders, trailing after Jackie as she moved out of the alleyway.

           He wondered if anyone would recognize him.  He almost didn’t care.

           His legs felt like lead. He couldn’t quite get enough breath into his chest.  The city passed in a haze, a not-quite-tense silence between the three of them. Aiden’s emotions ebbed into something more somber, and it left him feeling cold.  “I’m sorry,” he said eventually.

           Jackie didn’t react.

           “Why—why did you come back?”

           It took a few moments before she shrugged.  “We still need you.”

           Of course.  The thought didn’t feel as bitter as it might have before.  His mind wandered, touching briefly on something Kiru had mentioned after his panic attack, the thought briefly swamped by his own frustration.  His eyes drifted to Jackie’s left leg.  “Thank you.  For talking me down from, uh—”

           “It’s fine,” Jackie cut in, her voice carefully controlled.

           Aiden nodded tightly. The tension between them still hadn’t eased; even if Jackie had been willing to help him, things still didn’t feel fine.  I guess this is just the way things are, now.  Is it going to stay like this forever?

           He didn’t have an answer.

 _______________________________________________________________

Tag List: @siarven, @focusdumbass, @paladin-andric, @onedayiwillfind, @muggle-writes, @geth-consensus, @roselinbooks--let me know if anyone wants to be added to/removed from the tag list!

[millennialzadr]

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

-

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's see those Prime Numbers for the ask meme

2) favorite albums?

well i was Ready for kesha’s album Warrior to come out in iiii think it was the end of 2012 or early 2013?? i snuck out to that tour in dc that summer also. totally solid album and it was fun to have something so fun during a totally Not Fun period lol. i was also pretty into owl city at the exact same time lmao, that’s Blatantly for when you’re depressed lol...and i also eventually saw that guy on tour when a new album came out in 2015, and that was fun too, and was Enjoying Myself a factor in the tipping point of “ah jeez i gots 2 get outta here” that i had in the next month? maybe! and uhhh i listened a lot to the phoenix te amo album. that one wasnt tied to anything at all but i have heard it So much. super short and also rock solid and relistenable. and then here we are and the bmc obcr is a gift to the world b/c a) it exists and b) Cuz It All Slaps and c) it’s so fun to either sing or dance along, or cry along if it’s the agtikbi reprise and d) lgw... and e) all the eternal, well-mixed wroland vocals

3) favorite memes?

oh god lmao idk......real earlier 10s stuff was the I Say Hey he-man meme, and the “that really rustles my jimmies” meme which was real underrated......there’s been plenty of Memes where i’ve been like “this one is funny to me Every Time” but of course now looking back on it it’s like. what’s a meme??? Vine

(skipping 5 & 11 cuz that’s the Entirety of someone else’s ask and i don’t wanna just have to scrap theirs completely and i’ll get to it next!!)

11) favorite fanarts?

you know what, there’s continuously been a ton of amazing fanart where i’m like, i’m so glad i’m seeing this, & this is Artistic Fuel, and marge simpson anime has really been just this Standout Experience lmao like......idk for as Inspiring as it is, there’s only a couple things i’ve drawn that are Directly inspired, but i just flip for it all the time and like, it’s supremely expressive and like, comics that aren’t chronological but more like a Collage Of a Moment / Concept which i think is super cool and also i love when stuff reminds me that it doesn’t have to look ~super cleaned up~ to look great.

13) favorite people you know?

oh god this one really got out of control lol i started like, talking about everyone ever from this past decade. so for Convenience i’m interpreting this as “people *i* know, but they don’t know me” so that i can cheat and say will roland, voted person of the year 2019. by extension, essential supporting crew who helped us reach this point, like john simpkins or joe iconis. leave it at that!! it’s 5am and you know i’m not lying. who knew where going “wow, This guy” in late 2018 would have so much Value.

17) a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

oof hmm.......amnesia tdd didn’t really have a “fandom” even though it obviously got a lot of attention, it’dve been fun if it had though lol. it’s tricky to answer this one cuz i always prefer like, smaller fandoms and/or finding the Niche or some other way of just like, interacting with a small corner of things, so i’m never like wow god damn wish i’d been absolutely in the thick of it with this thing. i’ve been in Corners n Niches and it’s been fine by me, really

19) a fandom that you had the best time in?

HMM lol.........marble hornets sure was fun but like, a lot of that was just the content itself and not necessarily The Fan Experience, tho i sure got a lot out of it in a ton of ways. i mean tbh that’s true of each thing i’ve really Gotten Into majorly, i go hard af and then walk out the other side with these #connections or #experiences like whoa where’d these come from lol!! but really like, overall, i’m probably having the best time right now. the “fandom” is basically just our agenda lmao but like i said i’m always having the best time when it’s a pretty niche deal, And the sheer variety of Contents n Characters to draw from here is super nice, and the fact that it’s like, oh yeah and i’m finally recognizing this should’ve-been-obvious entire Passionne i’ve had since always, and that’s great too, and like, also just having the Variety Of Live / Current Unfoldings that go down.....like, everyone havin fun with the Joe Iconis Xmas Xtrav was entirely great. and just the Engagement level is basically the best, cuz like there’s the times where maybe i’ll get a zillion notes and that’s definitely fun in its own way but i always enjoy just the way smaller amount of ppl who are Particularly Enthusiastic, and like, there’s times where like, maybe i’m *technically* in this larger circle of ppl but like, totally more of like a Tangent or peripheral to that circle or whatever lol........this feels like a really solid balance of like, being sorta in this orbit of people in a chill way, but also definitely the direct interactions Existing, which is always important lol but hasn’t always been a constant throughout my Fandom Experiences at all

23) who were you at the beginning of this decade?

2009-2010 was a real distinct year lol i was in my second year of college in the middle of my teens, when i’d hardly really been getting to Explore My Interests Freely up to that point and still wasn’t, but all of a sudden it’s like goddamn i have to figure out my major???? and i’m like, obviously in the middle of only just now Really getting to figure out my identity in this deeper and more genuine way, thanks to being lucky enough to Live On Campus and be away from home like, 2/3 of the year, but i was just like, oh god i’m in Stress Hell now all the time cuz like. i’m trying to figure out my whole thing and what my ~Career~ should be and i just have no idea but am like, trying super hard all the time lol it was not successful and i was just really stressed about it all the time. i was def quieter back then.....pretty lonely at the time, i did not get into mh and gain the presence of any Online Friends until late 2010, and i hadn’t yet been sort of accepted by a small faction of theatre people via my roommate’s connections.....i wasn’t at all Out yet, and was def In Progress of figuring it all out.....i didn’t have nearly the Self-Esteem i have now lmao, it was Not a great time and in a lot of ways ‘09-’10 was the start of a downturn into Worse Than Usual Times, though in Other ways it was definitely an upturn lol like. the latter related to stuff that was important to me / who i am, the former tied to the situations i was in and the godawful morale that resulted

29) a time when the worst case scenario happened but you pulled through?

well by the end of 2012 i had my Wrath Parent deluxe mad at me big time, AND i was stuck at home all of thee time with that (not at all hours but. every day.) it was terrible!!! tf was going on in 2013, cuz that shit was definitely like, a gross blur of a lot of indistinct misery. and then, relatedly, when it was so shitty in 2015 that i was like fantastic, i am so officially sick of this i’m outta here. i revisited some Misery Posts from that period lately for someone stranger on twitter’s project or something, and boy i was having a bad time Summer Of ‘15 lol, things not getting better at home And a job that was so shitty that it was like..................bye. lol. and then i spent a year living out of a minivan. which was real lucky in ways b/c like. infinitely better than if i had not had that minivan. and when that broke down i was also then lucky enough to have this friend who was relatively nearby who’d also been willing to just like, set me up to Not have to ask the lgbt center where that trans-friendly forest zone a couple cities over was. nothing as dramatic as it could’ve been, fortunately

31) a time you were scared?

hmmm when leaving The Parents Home overnight, that was intimidating. bit of completely jumping into the unknown there, and also like, when you spend your lifetime assuming that Someone’s Arbitrary Wrath will be uponst you always, it’s hard to shake that sense of dread and doom, like ah jeez i am really potentially bringing hell on myself here........and like i mentioned with Start Of The Decade, there was just a ton of fear there all the time lol, trying to figure out virtually overnight The Whole Of Who I Am And What I Want when i’d only just even gotten to start......also i wanna say i maybe came out in 2011?? and i sort of also felt obligated to come out to my parents also (plus i think i was giving them like, one last chance to surprise me and be decent and kind of Grow Up themselves even tho i was the like, 16 y.o.) which yknow, kids you do not have to come out to anyone at all. someone was talking the other day abt how they didn’t think lgbtq “discourse” had evolved as much as you’d hope over the past decade, but idk about that, it's only a little bit of a wildly complex topic, and for starters Online Trans “Discourse” of a decade back was wayyyyyy in a vastly different place than it is now, leaps and strides really. so the way to ~really~ do it was presented kind of more rigidly i think. anyways i did it via email and was incredibly stressed to even open the reply a couple days later lol......which ended up being really weird and vague, and then there was a phone call where no one brought it up, and the only result was increased ire and resentment :( ........and then there was still like, cops encounters! near or not-as-bad-as-they-could’ve-been vehicular collisions! but tbh generally my reaction to the latter was underwhelming, except for one particular time when i was a passenger and also tense af for the rest of the ride. that’s it for Immediate fear really lol......oh wait one time i was at this decent sized Convention Panel Event and when i’m nervous i can Only talk more (it’s possible!!) and i snuck into line for the q&a and Right when i got to the mic (intimidating) they were like oop we’re low on time, lightning round!! :’] that was obviously more just a crapton of l’anxiete

37) a fashion that fell out of style that you wish would make a resurgence?

were Gladiator sandals this decade? the strappy deals that like, went up the ankles / calves? that was in fashion for a year or two and i’m into it. i like sandals and that kind of drama

41) something you learned a lot that not a lot of other people might know about?

i don’t know that i learned way a lot of anything that’s real in-depth knowledge and niche lore.........i have learned Nothing

43) an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

i had???? lmao well either way let’s say current relationships count and like, pretty much everyone in my Sphere i value a lot! i never like, have or have had a ~close~ ring of ppl around me lol like i thought it was lucky if i talked to someone Every Day (and not at all the Usual thing) and now it’s more likely that i talk to two people every day and maybe that sounds sarcastic but it’s not at all lol. i know my social stats aren’t impressive but i so appreciate what i get to enjoy and have. and other Connections might be way more like, we are friendly acquaintances, we talk on rare occasions, we haven’t talked at all in ages, we talk but only to trade cute pics of cats, Etc etc, but i seriously do appreciate all of everyone who’s cool who i get to interact with in any way and like, be in each other’s spheres and Not just like, absolutely on nobody’s radar. also obviously soph you are here in that list in case i wasn’t implying it good enough lol it is 5am and god knows deciphering what i say at any time can be its own challenge.....ur Epic Highs and Lows of bmc 3.0 is so good lmao

[swipestream]

Solo, Sanders, Scandanavian Revenants, Comics Scandals, and SocJus Cataclysm: It’s a Potpourri Episode!

With nothing big enough to be worth spending an entire column talking about, it’s time for a potpourri episode!

#

Solo, a Star Wars Story, failed in large extent because the writer was trying to force together four different genres—genres with different character archetypes, incompatible visual styles, and above all, wildly differing pacing—into one movie. It wants to be a Heist Movie AND a Film Noir AND an Action-Comedy AND a Space Opera flick. Take out any one of these elements—dropping Film Noir would be the easiest, and best, IMHO—and you could have a movie that works. But all of these together in the same film is a guaranteed disaster. Even if everything else (casting, writing, directing) had been done right—and it wasn’t—this would have sunk the movie.

#

I think Adam Sandler is bored of comedy. I think he wants to be making dramatic movies, and he might actually be good at them, but he’s not getting offers to make any.

I think Pixels and most of his Netflix ouvre are him just going through the motions because, hey, easy money, but you can tell his heart really isn’t in it. I hope he gets a chance to either step up to drama, like Robin Williams did, or get it out of his system so he can go back to making off-kilter comedy movies that everybody loves. His current mid-career slump is beginning to weigh on me.

#

I watched Netflix’s The Rain, a Danish sorta-kinda-Zombie Horror series. (It’s as much Zombie Horror as The Kingsmen was, which is to say, not very.) Somehow a virus gets released into the air, which when it rains infects people with a disease that drives them mad, or sometimes just kills them outright. A brother and sister are locked away by themselves in an emergency bunker, safe from the weather, their dad swearing he’ll be right back, but he doesn’t return. After six years, they head out into the no-man’s land of the post-apocalypse, naifs in a cold and brutal world.

The series had some promise—the notion that rainwater, puddles, and even running streams are VERBOTEN as they will either kill you or turn you into a raging homicidal maniac is actually quite effective, the few scenes it was highlighted—but the series never lived up to that promise. The danger of the water isn’t really dealt with that imaginatively (as compared to, for example, A Quiet Place, which exploited its conceit quite effectively), the characters are not that dynamic or interesting, and the climax feels tacked-on, and breaks all the rules set up in the rest of the series. It’s 10 hours, way too long for this sort of thing, and despite having promise, ultimately comes up short.

Not recommended.

#

After I called for a Pulp Revolution in the comics industry way back when, it’s beautiful to see some movement on that front. Zach Yaboi, of Diversity & Comics, did an Indiegogo for his Jawbreakers comic (nearly $330,000 as of time of writing), and because of shenanigans with Mark Wade probably violating the Sherman Anti-Trust Act whilst bullying D&C’s original publisher into dropping the title, Zach went and started his own comics company. It’s only publishing his titles, for now, but there’s definitely room to grow.

Ethan Van Sciver, long-time legendary DC artist, is also running an Indiegogo for his comic, Cyberfrog. It’s off to a roaring start ($128,000 bucks, as of day four), and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all falls out.

Indie publishing is becoming a reality in the comics space, and I hope more and more people are able to do an end run around the corrupt comics tradpub monopoly. “Artisanal” distribution looks to be the wave of the future. Good luck, guys!

#

I think we underestimate the true tragedy of the ongoing bastardization of popular culture from entertainment into propaganda. Yes, there’s the despoliation of classic characters, the utter inability to entertain, the substitution of robotic recitations of ideology for genuine human virtues, drives, and emotions, not to mention STORY, but above all there is this:

It’s a massive waste of talent.

Talent is a scarce thing, talent wedded to skill even scarcer. When people whore their talent out in service of a morally inverted and inhuman ideology, their talent begins to fade and very quickly it evaporates altogether. I have no explanation for this, but it’s based on empirical observation of the many artists who once had a consummate command of their medium and mode of expression, and can now barely squeeze out marginally passable work.

Talent, wielded properly, is balm for the suffering, insight for the callow, and diversion for those burdened with everyday cares. It’s an act of service, of true charity, and deserves nothing but the highest of praise. When people squander their talents, it’s a tragedy. Something good and worthwhile vanishes and the world is left a little darker and poorer. Under these circumstances, wonder and awe evaporate, and joy becomes a rarer thing, and that is truly tragic.

Jasyn Jones, better known as Daddy Warpig, is a host on the Geek Gab podcast, a regular on the Superversive SF livestreams, and blogs at Daddy Warpig’s House of Geekery. Check him out on Twitter.

Solo, Sanders, Scandanavian Revenants, Comics Scandals, and SocJus Cataclysm: It’s a Potpourri Episode! published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

[the-other-bouleyne-boy]

Astrology Chart: The Courtesan Archetype

May 5, 1995 Numerology association: Aphrodite Tarot Association: Empress and Lovers Venus and Fire Dominant Key Personality Traits: Emotional, Playful, Sensual, Artistic, Spontanous, Loyal Sun Sign: Taurus Shows: The Basic Personality    Stubborn but hates admitting it. Protective of his friends, always willing to help. He can appear a bit pretentious at times, and has an ok sense of humor, and quite an overachiever. He may be bit insecure when it comes to falling in love. Moon Sign: Cancer Shows: The Emotional Aspects, The True Soul     This individual is extremely sensitive and emotions carry high importance. He is most likely in touch with his emotions and those of others. In other words, he can be very intuitive. Nobody can beat their power of memory. They yearn for familiarity and security He can be prone to mood swings. However, he has a unique perspective about life and tend to value his relationships. He may also exhibit great amounts of creativity and possess the eye of appreciating the arts minutely. He may tend to feel uncomfortable when in an unfamiliar territory or situation. However, in situations where he feels comfortable, they can be very affectionate and caring.  The nurturing aspect of his personality is expressed by hospitable and compassionate . He will develop strong friendship bonds, even with total strangers. Mercury Sign: Gemini Shows: Communication Style, Intelligence     Hey may be generally quick-witted. He can come across as somewhat ditsy, and this is mainly due to his interests. They seem to know a little about everything. His learning is a little superficial — they generally have too many interests to delve too deeply into any one. He may get bored easily, but they is a fast learners. Impressionable to a fault, he may pick up more from their environment than most. There is a nervous energy here that is unmistakable. He may be able to quickly spot human weaknesses and then play around with them. Venus Sign: Aries Shows: Relationship Style, Values.     He is an independent spirit who knows what they want. His desires burn hot. There is a innocent aura of charm here. He craves excitement and the thrill of the unknown. People born under Venus in Aries are often magnetic and lively individuals who easily catch the attention of others. He might often find himself being desired or pursued by more than one person at a time. The one who's always down for an adventure. Knows how to separate work and play. Self-esteem is generally fragile. He may seem confident and self-assured, but on the inside, their opinion of themselves fluctuates wildly, ranging from sheer conceit to self-loathing. He will need validation from others, and if he is deprived of that, there can be a lot of anxiety surrounding their value. There is tremendous delight in exploration, discovery, and exciting experience, especially when this involves other people. He is interested in just about anything, and finds something fascinating in each and every person, something other people have never seen or figured out before. Mars Sign: Leo Shows: Sexual Desire, Energy, Action This position of Mars gives a drive for significance. This individual possesses a strong need to create. Passions run high, and so does desire. There is a strong will that gives this native much staying power. This is one of the more sexual positions of Mars. While he may be rather easy to arouse, his passion will be  long-standing and loyal. He will enjoy sex more than most, as long as heavy doses of love and romance are part of the package. In partnership, he will demand loyalty and love. He will shine like  the sun on the battlefield, and he is brilliantly confident, amorous, gracious, fierce, explosive and exuberant. Hee is the king who knows how to rule with command and grace. When he is in love, the whole world knows about it, because his heart roars and his spirit spindles flames into gold. Jupiter Sign: Sagittarius Shows: Sense of Purpose, Reactions to Difficulty He can be very inspirational and idealistic. His natural enthusiasm should come through when he teaches or learns new things, and he should be able to see the big picture. He may be  interested in teaching, publishing, education, travel and foreign cultures. Carefree and outgoing, good natured. Saturn Sign: Pisces Shows: Responsibilities, Commitment , Serious Nature He can be very self-sacrificing and empathetic.  Uranus Sign: Aquarius Shows:Self-Discovery He likes to turn the world upside down. The revolution may be loud or peaceful, but he is a  part of the action either way.  Neptune Sign:Capricorn Shows: Dreams, Idealism, Illusions This is a person who dreams of stable home life, most likely desiring to be a spouse and parent.  Pluto Sign : Scorpio Shows: Self-Empowerment  He may be  drawn to activities that will involve him emotionally. Intensity is the key word. He knows how to bring things that are hidden out into the light. He fights for human rights and has a talent for helping the unconventional become accepted. There is a strong sexual aura here as well. Lilith Sign:Gemini Shows: Dark-side  Words and thoughts are key. With Lilith in Gemini, those words and thoughts easily become playthings, and can quickly become twisted. Playful at best, manipulative at worst. He may use mind games to cover up for their own crippling anxiety and insecurity. Racing thoughts and overthinking can be found here.  Mental isolation, nervous breakdowns, anxiety, sexual unpredictability. Houses: 1st: Uranus Shows: First Impressions   He may like to experiment with his appearance a lot. He may wear unusual clothes or dye his hair quite a lot. He may enjoy being different from others 2nd:Mars Shows: Environment, Money, Work, Values  This native is driven toward material gain. He may be impulsive. There is an assertive driven energy towards establishing himself within his values and stability in the physical world.    3rd: Venus Shows: Communication, Siblings, Friends, Community Ever-flitting, ever-flying; so envied and admired, artistic thinker. 4th: Mercury Shows: Home, Family homely, strong memory, chatty,  “home maker” 5th: Mercury Shows: Self-Expression lively, quick-witted, comical, 6th: Moon Shows: Emotional Comfort: Spending time with friends 7th: Leo/Sun Shows: Relationships, Marriage Pride and identity is found through close relationships. Marriage and long lasting relationships are his focus. He will take great care to ensure their partners are happy and healthy, making a great partner himself. His charm may be great, and is typically highly considerate of others. 8th: Venus Shows: Relationships gregarious, resourceful, deeply committed, over-thinking 9th:Pluto Shows: Travel, Morals, Traveling plays a major part when it comes to his life’s direction. Seminars and long journeys will completely change him.   Midheaven: Jupiter Shows: Career, Public Image Travel Agent, Tour Guide, Trader, Politician. 11th: Jupiter Shows: Social Life Tends to have more casual friendships and likes those who are conversationalist and individualist. 12th: Saturn Shows: Endings, Healing They tend to have a lot of worries and fears Summary: I am a guardian, and care is what makes me feel emotionally happy, but I express myself in a lighthearted way. When it comes to love, I will be passionate, but when I get angry I become proud. People see me as unique. Life systematically challenges me to face overwhelming stress. My sense of humor is teasing. I’m impassioned when it comes to changes and I have the imagination of an artist. My individual prowess is my sexuality. I’ll be successful as a politician (insert laugh). I can be compared to a fascinating northern light.