#but also idk if anyone is still reading that fic. but in case someone still is i mean. I might as well try to feed them

[love13tter]

fav caleb xia fics bc im a lover girl ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

art is by 绝世西瓜 (xhs id 117998996) ˚ . ⊹ ⋆

im a certified baby apple girl Ok i know what i like & whats good so i will kindly share these to the world!! this is for my caleb lovers and pseudocest enjoyers

psa i refer to caleb w nicknames like colonel silly / silly / apple boy etc !! in case ur confused lol ,, ♡ are my absolute favs !! ,,

(,,>﹏<,,) ao3 fics

sugar pit by knightjpg

9.6k words, pseudo-incest, more sex leaning, angry angsty mc at caleb & colonel silly cant bring himself to get angry (i love him)

rotary devotion by kirketeer ♡

35.1k words, very poetry esque, my kind of devotion (aka kinda scary type!!! wanting to live in his skin, being near him/skin touching not being enough etc), sooo angsty from silly’s pov, dont read this if u dont want to be hit with an intense amount of sadness and worry (affectionately)

he ain’t heavy (he’s my—) by kirketeer ♡

8.3k, REALLY poetry esque (so my fav fic by default!), dunno how to explain but the metaphors towards caleb & reader being synonyms + antonyms is making my head spin, dynamic is sooo sweet! kirketeer is a rly good world builder so ure immediately in it all the way (which i love)

the taste of a forbidden fruit (i offer you my heart, bruised and bitten) series by luvl3ss ,, my favs below

> ikaw lang: 1k words, caleb is still caleb, reminds me of this one quote abt how loving someone is having to grieve every version of them :’)

> extra thin!: 0.5k words, apple slicing prefs, really short but its just as sweet as that first bite of a perfect apple slice :P

origin: sine qua non series by tinylethologica ,, favs below

> footprints underneath a pulse storm ♡ 11.111 words (i HAD TO !!! its perfect), based off his deceptive solitude card ^__^ aka the gun cleaning one w the towel barely hanging on around his waist and his v line showing mmmmfffppjhhhh, dynamic is so good they banter SO YUMMILY, caleb and reader being panty sniffers i know thats right!, the sex is a bit milder — it focuses more on dialogue and thats exactly my kind of smut i love it so bad, also um um gun play Nods head. sucking the gun … him fucking reader w the gun uh huh okay that says enough right

> calomel in libation: 4.1k words, caleb knows u better than anyone else (even urself), he eats u out, kinda crazy how he just knows that reader needs to be eaten out after all the stress…. ugh such husband material wheres the ring!!

drive you insane by soarinapple

10.4k words, IM SHAKING omgomgomg SPANKING fic!!!!!! oh hell yeah, he spanks her she counts and thanks him and it goes on sooo long u almost feel it on your bum too </3 oh i wish that was me, aftercare scenes included too ! its so good

(..◜ᴗ◝..) tumblr fics

quick psa i read more incestuous things / heavy topics here so be warned! pls ignore or dont interact if u dont like <3

my love, my alibi by prettyboykatsuki

23.3k words, pseudocest (HEAVY. if u dont like it dont interact!!), im gonna be so real rn and just say this has to be my fav fic w the incestuous theme cause this is just ALL about that dynamic between them. growing up together but the lines blur as you grow up and suddenly someone youve always seen as ur brother is hot and u realise he takes care of you more than a brother should, caleb knows u but also. not? idk all i remember is that him cumming in you felt more romantic than it should be

spilled sweetness by piroulinewafers

2k words, pseucocest (heavy), watersports!!!!!!! this is piss focused lol!!! he checks ur bladder thru ur meow meow..... (yummy), kinda crazy kinda not . its kinky for sure esp w the pseudocest theme ...

drabbles by piroulinewafers

> married reader & caleb + jealousy (from reader) 2.4k words

> vv submissive reader & the sweeeeeetest dom caleb ever. he takes care of u when u cant do it urself 1.5k words

drabble (1) by yukinohiko

0.3k words, caleb faking his amnesia (hes so silly), reader/mc being a freak ofcourse and immediately taking advantage of it LOL but the dialogue is the most important part of this fic!!!, analogies of their love bla bla bla, gege & meimei use <3

drabble (2) by yukinohiko ♡

0.5k words, apple boy just loves you so much. it doesnt matter if u hate him or get angry hes so patient sobs, baby (reader) doesnt mean it!!!! she gets so sad when she realises what she did, gege usage, very sweet reader shes so cute in this...

the colonel's saint (part 2 of the colonel's keeper) by saintobio

9.8k words, im not even gonna sugarcoat it part one made me so uncomfy after reading it cause it was GUTWRENCHING in the best way possible!!!!!, the writing was superb but the entire situation made me feel so icky... i cant reread it like i usually do but i could w the second part!!! reader kinda gets her redemption, the last bits were so bittersweet im happy but also not

so fucking domestic by kutepik

1.2k words, hes so cuuuuteeee!!!!! theyre both cute icl, sex whenever and wherever in the house is soo domestic, just very adorbs im gonna eat them Both

[the-real-couchrat]

Post ending / rescue AU / recovering Curly is everything to me, so I’m making a list of other people’s posts that feature him. (The links will connect to a reblog of them in case anything ever happens to the original post)

If anyone ever see’s posts like these ones, PLEASE tag me in a reblog!! All posts are welcome, not just art!

Please note that I don’t decide what to add to this list based on shipping, opinions on the metaphors in the game, the accuracy of burn scars, the morality of Curly, or anything else that causes discourse in the fandom. I just add any posts that I come across that include Curly recovering from his injuries in any way. Prosthetics, wheelchair, wig, crutches, It just needs to have him in better shape than when he first got injured.

No NSFW

(Also this post is edited to add new ones when I find them)

Rehabilitated Curly

Party with no Jimmy

Stand around in medbay party (Idk if this counts, but he has prosthetics so I'm saying it does)

Happy abortion!

Post-ending speculation (text)

20 years later (I AM NOT WORTHY TO LOOK UPON THIS WITH MY MERE MORTAL EYES)

ANYA’S GRADUATION DAY

Post ending

Rescue/Recovery AU

My own post! (text)

Aftermath Curly

Good ending

Best way to approach captain’s disability?

A little sketch

They care

“I wouldn’t want to frighten her”

Anya doesn’t quite overdose

They’re safe

Guys rate my fanart

WWI face prosthetics

Less fucked up Curly AU

Fix-it type AU

Silly recovering time

Curly got some gifts for his b-day

Imagine Curly survived (twitter)

Curly with a service dog

I’m not a dog and you’re not a mare

Drawing the dentalcare crew (does this count?)

The quality will not be questioned

Fix-it AU

Want to make Curly some cool new mechanical hands so he can strangle Jimmy

One can dream

He’s got a wig now

Happy ending where they all survive (devianart)

It hurt my heart (twitter)

God forbid I get sick (translated?)

This might be controversial but… (text)

Let’s get you out of the house!

Cyberpunk AU

Cartoons with breakfast

Old-school surgeries (text)

Post-ending fic prompt (text)

Post-rescue AU curlyana

Post-rescue curlyana part two

Why is this goddamn white boy so hard to draw?

Captain stop infodumping the baby

Maybe never forgive

Draw Captain Curly having a prosthetic limb

Curly from Mouthwashing (good ending)

This is how I imagine Curly post OP

whats the worse fate, whatd be better for the tulpar crew

Wip

🐈

Mouthwashing AU (Reddit)

Curly if he survives (Reddit)

My own art

I’ll give him smoochies, prosthetics, and skin grafts

Art dump time✨

Hoppin on da trendin train

The crew built curly a mechanical hand

How to give Captain Curly a voice (idk if this technically counts, but it’s a disability aid so I will)

Doodle of the Tulpar crew post-rescue!

New hyperfixation just dropped

Hi Tumblr. Funny seeing you here

Another rehabilitated Curly

Who up washing they mouth rn

Don’t use the dog buttons (text)

Haunted part one and two

Prosthetics

AU were someone saves them

Mouthwashing doodles

A New Ladder-Reader x Curly (I’ll add the original art videos when I can) (also I didnt read it. if someone did read it, please let me know if it’s SFW)

I know he always have his headphones on

More rehabilitated Curly✨

You guys like this right

Anya, what’s it like working as a medic on a spaceship?

This is how we can still get the good ending

“I’m sorry Anya”

More cringe mouthwashing art be upon thee

Curly’s happy (and recovering) ending

Writing an AU of mouthwashing where the crew survives

Most people seem to be giving him prosthetics…

Doing a bit of study

2

Ladonb Kokosa (TikTok account, LOTS of great videos )

Giving the mouthwashing characters what they deserve (TikTok)

Zest for life

How I think the Tulpar crew would make YT videos

Some recovered Curly art

Edit: I am no longer seeking out these posts, and new ones will only be added if I’m tagged or such

[zolo-san]

Who wants to read my ramblings about a University AU idea that has started to consume my every waking thought? (It's primarily a Lawlu fic idea~)

My brain has really gotta stop doing this I've got two half written Lawlu fics just chillin in my notebook but then two days ago I had a fleeting thought that triggered my brain to start cooking up a University AU out of nowhere (I don't even normally write AUs so idk what is even happening)

So I started writing down some planning and ideas that, as per usually, devolved into some full fledged scenes and dialogue and it straight up feels like I'm being possessed by this stupid fucking AU and I'm going insane It's literally writing itself....I have no control any more (send help)

My planning doc is already over 3,500 words and I've only been typing shit up during my odd free moments at work It's literally like I'm witnessing a movie in my head and struggling to write it all down

So yeah that's a thing.......I still have at least one Zosan fic I really want to write for the Zosan Community Collab (ya know the one I'm hosting lol) but my brother in christ this au has a fucking choke hold on me

In case anyone cares to know: The basics of the AU right now is that Law is currently in his first year of residency and goes to the campus library often to study and that's where he sees Luffy, whose a bio major with a field research internship studying beetles. Law sees Luffy there all the time and sort of developed a crush on him, but he never actually talks to him. At some point shenanigans issue on campus that force the two of them to interact and they both take to each other very quickly (perhaps because Luffy also had a low-key crush on the attractive mysterious doctor whose always at the library 😏)

I could go on about all the Straw Hats and their areas of study, everyone's living arrangements, everyone's relationship dynamics, I also have info about Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin’s studies (Tho if anyone actually reads this and has any input on what majors they think Shachi and Penguin would have settled on, pls let me know because I have a note that they have no clue what they want to do and have switched majors at least three times, but I haven't decided what they'd settle on lol) I literally even have a floor plan for the dorm that Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp share as well as Law's place (which is on campus despite it being usual for medical residents to stay on campus, he just prefers being close to the library because he's a fucking nerd)

Gods...someone save me from this fucking au....I'm going crazy..........anyways...I'm going to go back to more planning now (help >.<)

[genderenaissance]

Thoughts or headcanons on transfem Edwin???

see now i wish i’d given it more thought…

transfem edwin stems from that one scene where niko goes “are you always a woman???” and edwin’s just like “Yes.” and walks off

undecided on their pronouns would love to hear suggestions

obviously culturally for edwin trans people are. not. so i think we could have a great moment of discovery there (meeting trans people at pride with charles/having a trans client/one of niko’s shows/crystal)

maybe they meet lilith and lilith’s just like “oh my good you clown you’re a woman”

niko helps them explore fem presentation if they want to (she has great fucking fashion sense, but sadly it’s not to edwin’s taste)

picking a chosen name!!! looking through all their beastiaries and naming themself after a demon or greek goddess or some shit (HECATE?!??)

good god i should write a fic

realising that they have always been trans/this explains so much

i think they’re straight but could be bisexual (or similar)??? unsure

worried about Gender Roles

the gang litterally beats up anyone who gives them shit (think that guy in the art classroom in the Case of the Dead Dragons)

charles laughing at them for taking so long to work it out (affectionately)

oh my god!!! this works with my reading charles as straight!!! now they can be ship!!! (i kinda like queer charles but i also like straight charles… idk i’m not picky)

edwin helping someone else (a client?) explore their gender identity (i would say the cat king but i hate the cat king)

tragic mick giving them seaglass as a transition gift

mixing their own hormone-potion-thingies from some old transgender texts they found

getting a special interest in historical/mythical trans people

transmasc crystal??? (i feel less intensely about this but i think exploring their relationship with womanhood and all their female and esters would be. badass. but i don’t really headcannon it)

please send me your thoughts and opinions i need more of this

joining a trans ghost support group (making a trans ghost support group?) and making them all hormone-potion-thingies too (if they want them)

internalised!!! transphobia!!!

exploring the world of queer expression (i’m still thinking “what is a hand… job?”)

i feel like. what do i do with monty. maybe monty was transmasc all along. idk idk

i want to say more but i can’t think of more

ill probably add to this if i get any extra thoughts

what about jenny what can i say about her

charles makes them a pronoun pin

[pepsiboyy]

idk if you take fic requests! but maybe a fic based off of Greek God by Conan Gray. like Matt or Chris pretend they don’t like yn where they’re around their sport (whatever sport, you choose!) friends. they all have a really high ego and are cocky. but there’s a tension between M/C and yn bc they used to be friends until M/C got popular but yn didn’t so now they’re not friends cuz M/C let his popularity status get to him. but they sometimes speak on the down low (M/C doesn’t wanna be seen talking to yn) they’re families are family friends which is why they’re technically forced to still talk every once in a while. but eventually the tension gets too intense, and well, M/C can’t handle it anymore and it ends up turning into a childhood friends to enemies to lovers type story 🤭 ALSO, YN STANDS HER GROUND AND DOESNT LET M/C GET HER THAT EASILY, SHES NOT JUST GONNA FALL FOR HIM INSTANTLY CUZ HE FINALLY STARTS PAYING ATTENTION TO HER!! thanks!!

GREEK GOD.

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: just read the request :p warnings: cursing, mentioned of alcohol, being drunk, use of y/n lol, angst (resolved sorta) a/n: THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST!!! i hope it's what you were looking for, i spent a lot of time trying to make this work :") thank you so much for the request!!

i stood at the edge of the ice rink, my hands clasping together with high hopes.

i came to cheer on matt and chris, with nick seated beside me as he scrolled through instagram and snacked on some chips that he brought.

nick was my best friend, without a doubt. i told him everything. matt was one of my comfort friends. someone i didn't talk to as often as nick, but enough to where i feel fully comfortable talking to him about whatever may happen. chris, on the other hand...

chris was chris.

it was hard to describe the dynamic the two of us shared.

chris and i actually used to be closer than me and nick, or anyone, honestly.

he would pick me up when i fell, give me some of his snacks and even a sip of his pepsi if i wanted. he would reassure me when i felt low, and even put me in my place if he knew i was out of line.

before we knew it, high school rolled around. freshman year was relatively normal, sophomore year too.

junior year he started making newer friends, but he also had a different lunch period from the rest of us. i'd only really see him when matt gave me rides home.

senior year rolled around, and chris was a changed person. ever since he made it to the varsity hockey team with his new friends, he changed. he claims it's because we "grew apart" but we didn't. he goes out of his way to make me look bad in front of his friends, or even act like he has no idea who i am. it kind of made me feel stupid.

matt being on varsity with him didn't help his case at all, either.

so, when i came to watch them play, nick would sit with me and i would cheer on them both, even if chris pretended to hate me.

so, here i am. standing at the edge of the rink with nick, who was now standing beside me as we watched the two we knew and loved. matt effortlessly weaving past a defender, sending the puck flying towards chris, who sent it into the goal and made it.

the sound of skates cutting through ice was sharp in my ears, and the bright arena lights cast a glow over everyone while each and every cheer echoed in the cold air.

i remember when we all used to skate together freshman year here, the arena empty and our arms all linked together because i couldn't skate for the life of me, on matter how bad i tried.

those days felt like a lifetime ago now.

you had all grown a lot since then.

apart, apparently.

"hey, y/n, what are you doin' here?" a boy from the team questioned, skating to the glass with a cocky grin. "came to see the champ?" he asked, referring to chris.

i rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, allowing my eyes to trail elsewhere. "just here to support my friends." i mumbled.

chris glanced over, his expression neutral, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes - guilt, maybe, or recognition of the unspoken tension between them. before i could look away, he turned back to his friends, laughing at some joke i couldn't hear.

i sighed and took a seat beside nick again, letting out a soft hum as i did. the familiar sting of hurt and anger was beginning to get to me.

the memory of chris and i being inseparable, chris changing, chris making fun of me to his friends, all of it. it hurt. popularity inflated his ego, and i always refused to be an admirer in his little fan club.

after the game, i found myself lingering near the exit of the rink. i typically waited for the crowd to die and the traffic to slow down before leaving. it was too busy for me.

the locker room door swung open, and out poured the hockey team that was riding out the high of their win. chris was among them, laughing loudly and tossing his hockey stick over his shoulder. we met eyes for a moment, and his smile seemed to falter. until he leaned to a friend of his and nudged them, mumbling something to make them both laugh.

"hey, y/n!" chris called out. "didn't think you'd stick around here. still obsessed with me or what?"

i stared at chris with a deadpanned expression. "stop getting me to stroke your ego, christopher." i bit back, trying to keep my voice steady.

this shit was annoying, really.

chris's friends snickered, and he shrugged it off, turning away as if i were nothing more than an afterthought to him. "whatever. let's get out of here."

the group moved past me, their laughter seeming to echo in the hallway. i felt a lump form in my throat, but i refused to let anyone see me get upset over something to miniscule.

i knew this version of chris was a facade, but that didn't really make it hurt any less. the boy i once loved and cared for deeply was now buried under layers of arrogance and bravado, and i wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily.

the crowd began to die down, so i gathered myself and pushed out of the door, making my way towards my car.

as i walked towards the car, i saw chris again, this time with his brothers as they leaned against their minivan and talked about the game together.

for a moment, chris looked up, and our eyes met. there was a flicker of something in his gaze - regret, maybe, or a silent apology - but it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

he mumbled something to his brothers before he kicked off and made his way towards me.

"need a ride home? matt can take you." his tone was casual, but strained.

i stared at chris for a moment in disbelief, before quickly shaking my head and sighing. "no thanks. i can manage."

chris opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it, looking away. the silence between us stretched, and it filled with all the things left unsaid.

and with that, i turned on my heel and began walking home.

saturday. the days where the sturniolo household invited me for dinner were so much fun, genuinely. they were an amazing family. and chris typically acted normal around her when she was invited over.

i pulled into the driveway of their home, smiling softly to myself as i turned the music down. i pulled down the mirror and fixed my hand, humming to myself before taking my keys.

i was wearing something pretty cozy, just a crewneck and some bleached jeans and converse. they were like my second family, no need to get fancy.

i knocked on the door, where matt answered and pulled me into a hug of greeting. "hi, y/n," he breathed and smiled softly before leading me further into their home, where i was met with nick, marylou, their mother, and jimmy, their father.

"where's chris?" i questioned, the words falling from my lips faster than i could stop them.

nick exchanged a look with matt before he shrugged. "not sure, he just said he was going to some hockey party for their win last night."

i scoffed and nodded, taking a seat in my usual spot between nick and marylou.

the empty chair across from me was honestly quite intimidating. more than it would have been if chris were there.

chris was always the one with crazy stories and conversation topics.

we sat in a comfortable silence, though, which i'm sure nick and matt enjoyed as they listen to chris every day of their lives.

"you're still goin' to their hockey games and cheerin' em on?"

marylou questioned, and i turned to her and smiled. "yeah, they're really great, actually." i smiled softly, and marylou nodded.

"i know chris has been on a bit of an ego train, i hope he's still been kind to you guys." jimmy mumbled softly.

i swallowed and rubbed the back of my head. "yeah, he's been great, actually." i lied.

nick and matt stared at me, but decided not to question it before continuing their meal.

but then my phone began to ring, and everyone's attention shifted to me.

"i'm so sorry," i quickly mumbled as i removed it from my pocket and immediately felt every bit of air in my lungs leave.

why is chris calling me?

i rose to my feet and held up a finger, chuckling nervously. "i'm gonna take this," i mumbled quickly.

i made my way down the hall and to the front room. "hello?" i questioned softly.

"y/n/n," chris slurred on the other end. "i- i'm at a party, and.." he trailed off before giggling to himself, "i might.. need a ride home," he mumbled.

i sighed, rubbing my temple in annoyance. "where are you?"

chris mumbled an address, hardly coherent. "can you... can you come get me? please?"

i sighed to myself. "why can't you get matt or nick or something?"

"they'll get pissed," he stated, a little clearer than the rest of his sentences. "i don't want them to worry about me." chris struggled to get the word worry out of his system, making me crack a slight smile.

"fine," i stated as i fixed myself, "stay put. i'll be there soon."

i hung up the phone and made my way back to the dining room, where everyone collectively turned to me.

"everything alright?" nick asked, and i quickly nodded.

"everything's good, i do have to go, though. i'm so sorry you guys. i'll make it up to you?" i smiled. "i just, um.. have to run."

they all exchanged looks before nodding and bidding me farewell, nick walking me out.

i sat in my car and typed the address into my phone, rubbing my forehead.

i didn't enjoy parties. they were loud, sweaty, gross and full of annoying ass kids. usually.

and as i pulled up, it was just that. a typical high school party scene - loud music, teenagers spilling out onto the lawn, and the faint smell of alcohol and weed in the air. i found chris on the footsteps, his head buried in his hands. i quickly made my way towards him after parking and kneeled down in front of him.

"come on, let's get you home." i said, helping him to his feet.

chris leaned on my heavily as we made our way to my car. i buckled him in and got into the driver's sear, the tension between us palpable in the confined space. as i drove, chris mumbled some incoherent words, his head lolling against the window.

"y/n," he suddenly said, his voice clearer but thick with emotion. "i'm sorry."

i glanced at him, eyebrows raised. "for what?"

"for everything," he continued, his eyes half-closed. "for being an ass. for ignoring you. for... for all of it."

i took a deep breath as i felt a mixture of sadness and anger bubbling within me. i gripped the steering wheel tighter, unsure of how to respond. "you're drunk, chris. you don't know what you're saying."

"no," chris insisted, reaching out and touching my arm. "i do, i've been a jerk. i miss you. i miss us."

i pulled into my own driveway, knowing chris wouldn't want to see his family like this. i would just take his phone and send them a text saying he was with a friend tonight or something.

i turned off the engine and took a deep breath. "let's get you inside."

chris stumbled out of the car, leaning on me for support the whole way to the door. i fished for my keys and unlocked the door, quickly guiding him to my living room couch.

as i laid a blanket over him, he grabbed my hand as his eyes locked with mine.

"i still care about you, y/n. i always have."

my heart pounded, but i forced a laugh, trying to deflect the intensity of the moment. "sleep it off, chris. we'll talk in the morning, okay?"

i brushed a few loose strands from his forehead and stood up, turning off the light and going to my room. my mind raced with conflicting emotions.

part of me wanted to believe his drunken confession, but another part of me was still so angry. still hurt by the way he had treated me. as i laid in bed and stared at my ceiling, i couldn't shake the feeling that things between us were far from over. and that this was just the beginning of a much more complicated story.

the sizzling of the bacon on the oven was comforting, in a way. i had an airpod in, playing some softer, but upbeat music to get me up and going for the long, long day ahead.

i turned my head upon hearing some shuffling in the kitchen, meeting eyes with chris. "morning," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"morning," i replied, placing a plate of food with bacon, eggs and sausage onto the counter in front of him. "eat up. you'll feel better."

he sat down and started eating, occasionally glancing at me as i cleaned up the kitchen. after a few minutes of awkward silence, he looked at me. "look, about last night.."

i crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. "what about it?"

chris looked down at his plate, poking at his eggs. "i meant what i said, you know. but i was drunk, and.. and maybe it didn't come out right-"

"maybe?" i questioned, my voice sharp. "you've been treating me like i don't exist for months, chris. one drunken apology doesn't fix that."

he winced at my words, but nodded. "i know, i've been an idiot. i got caught up in... everything. the team, the popularity. but that's no excuse."

"no, it's not." i stated, my anger beginning to bubble to the surface. "you think you can just waltz back into my life with a half-assed apology and everything will be fine? it doesn't work that way." i spat.

chris stood up, stepping closer. "i'm not asking for everything to be fine overnight. i'm asking for a chance to make things right."

i shook my hear, my eyes flashing with frustration. "do you even realize how much you hurt me? how it felt to be ignored, to be treated like i was nothing?"

"i do now," he said quietly. "and i'm sorry. truly. i want to make it up to you, if you'd let me."

i looked up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of insincerity. he seemed genuine, his usual bravado stripped away, leaving only the boy she used to know.

"i don't know if i can trust you," i admitted, my voice softer now.

chris reached out and took my hand in his. "i get that. and i will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back."

he pulled me into a tight hug, where i gently hugged his waist and took in his scent.

i missed this.

"just one date. give me a chance?" chris mumbled, the smile audible in his tone.

i hesitated, my mind racing. part of me wanted to say no, to protect myself from his bullshit. but another part of me remembered all of the good times.

"one date," i finally stated, my voice firm. "but this doesn't mean i'm just forgiving you, chris. you have a lot to prove."

he nodded quickly, his lips curving into a smile. "i promise i won't let you down."

i pulled away from his embrace and smiled at him before turning to the sink and doing the dishes. "you better now."

as i did the dishes, i felt a glimmer of hope mixed with lingering doubt. chris had a long way to go to earn the trust i had for him back, but for the first time in months, she felt like maybe, just maybe, things could change.

[hyunjilicious]

A/n: This was initially supposed to be the beginning of a longer fic but I ended up changing the plot a bit and this little thing doesn't fit in there anymore. So there's basically no plot here, just 3 bff's minding their own business when one of them decides to ask for a hickey :) you know, like all friends do.

Warnings: there's no smut, but I still wouldn't be comfortable with anyone underage reading it, so 18+ PLS. Also they're just friends but there's a hyunjin x reader x felix type of thing implied... idk... I love them both too much :/ (highly unedited, don't look at me, I just want it out of my drafts thank you) 1.4k

"Ok, I know this is gonna sound stupid, but bear with me for a second?" Hyunjin said, breaking the 10 minutes of silence that followed yours and Felix's relentless complaints about work and the last minute tasks you had been given. Once that topic had been exhausted, you each settled in a corner of your queen sized bed, entrapped by your phones. That was until Hyunjin spoke up.

"Yeah, what is it?" Felix answered but Hyunjin waited until he had your attention too before continuing.

"Can one of you give me a hickey?" 

Felix didn't even bother trying to answer, confusion just fell upon his features as he stared ahead, then at Hyunjin, who didn't even bat an eye, and then at you.

"Um?" you frowned, "Can you elaborate?"

"There are these girls at work that like me, I mean I think they do, and I've basically done everything to tell them I'm not interested but like… they don't get the hint, and they're very sweet, so I don't wanna be rude to them.. I figured this would be the best idea"

"You figured this would be the best idea?" Felix deadpanned.

"Yeah… they never walked up to me and told me they like me, so what kind of entitled asshole would I be if I just went to them and said 'Hey, I get that you're obsessed with me but I'm not interested'?"

Felix just blinked. "First of all, obsessed is a little bit too much, don't you think?"

"I agree. That's why I want a hickey"

"Just say you have a girlfriend"

"But I don't" Hyunjin shook his head, "That would be a lie. A hickey is just a hickey, and it'll make them assume I have someone"

"Or you could just talk to them" Felix tried again.

"Or you could just shut up and give me a hickey"

"I've never given anyone a hickey, I'm not doing it"

"I can do it" you offered, much to Felix's disappointment. It seemed that for whatever reason he assumed you'd be the rational one, but if anything, you understood very well what it was like to want to avoid difficult conversations.

"Thank you!" Hyunjin exclaimed.

"Come here"

"What? Now!?"

"What? Do you need to get ready? Need a moment of silence?"

"Um, no?" Hyunjin shily mumbled as Felix laughed in the background, "I just didn't expect you to do it now"

"We can do it later"

"No, no, no. Now is good"

"Ok, lay down" you instructed and shuffled closer to him. 

"Oh my god" Hyunjin chuckled as he let his weight fall back onto his shoulders while you straddled his hips. He watched you tuck your hair behind your ears and lick your lips, which made nervous giggles break past his lips as he threw his head back. "This feels so professional"

"Yes, y/n, the hickey master" you mocked and grabbed his hands, one forceful pull later and he was down flat on his back against the mattress. "Tell me if it hurts"

"I've gotten hickeys in the past, it wasn't that bad"

"Yeah because you were turned on and it was sexy. Now that's not the case"

"Hey, you're sexy" he grinned which made you slap his face away so you wouldn't have to see his eyes anymore.

"Oh god, I need to see this" Felix giggled and crawled closer, settling right next to you and directly above Hyunjin.

"You're breathing right into my face"

Felix wasn't having it, so he just smiled down at his friend. "You like it"

"Idiot"

With your lips inches away from Hyunjin's exposed neck, you found yourself struggling to find a starting point. Something felt off, a bit unnatural, and it made your ears tingle. "Ok, this is weird, but I don't know how to give hickeys without kissing too, so-"

"Kiss me, I don't mind"

"You're willing to make this sacrifice, huh?" Felix teased.

"Ok, but tell me if this starts to feel awkward, ok?"

"Y/n, you're both basically on top of me, one about to bite me and the other one looking at me like I'm a science experiment, awkward doesn't even begin to explain it"

"I'm sorry" you laughed, and despite the hurricane of thoughts that rushed through your brain at that exact moment, you shook your head one last time and finally closed the distance between the two of you.

Doing this robotically and by the book was never going to cut it, no matter how much experience you had and how many techniques you knew. So putting your faith into Hyunjin to tell you in case you went too far, you decided to do this right.

With your back arched and your body fully pressed against his, you snaked one hand up into hair, curling your fingers up around his roots as your lips started working on his still intact skin.

The kisses that initially started off as gentle and soft, turned fervid in a matter of seconds, your lips mercilessly sucking his perfect skin, morphing his light complexion into a perverse shade of red. 

Unconsciously, as you worked on the hickey on his neck, the hand that had been previously lightly tugging at his roots traveled down, gripping his chin and caressing its way down to his shoulders. 

Completely lost in the taste and feel of your best friend's skin, you failed to register the unnatural feeling of his hands on your thighs. You knew they were there, you felt their warmth down to your bones, but it never occurred to you that that had never happened before. So you let yourself get driven by his touch and refused to show any signs of slowing down as his curious hands made their way to your hips and then to your ass.

Fully engrossed by everything that was going on at once, you failed to notice the way Hyunjin was panting beneath you - his chest heaving up and down as his shaky, hot breath ran against your ear.

Once you figured you had him warmed up enough, you gave his neck the last bit of preparation which came in the shape of you licking up his jugular before you returned to your initial spot and sunk your teeth into his skin with no warning.

"Holy f-" he grunted, more than surely involuntarily bucking his hips up into you as his fingers dug into your hips. 

But it didn't deter you, you kept going - sucking, biting and licking all the right spots, keeping a steady pace until you felt satisfied with your work.

"Ok-" you said a bit out of breath before returning to pepper his traumatized skin with feather light kisses, "I think this should do it"

When you pushed yourself up to admire your work, Hyunjin hurried to hide his face behind his hands. "Oh my god"

"Was it good?" you grinned, placing your hands on his waist, ready to tickle a compliment out of him in case you needed to.

"I need a minute," he panted.

Deciding to give him the space he said he needed, your eyes moved to Felix. Despite not uttering one word, his face said a lot, his red cheeks, wide eyes and shy smile were enough to get the message across. 

Instantly, you opened your arms calling for a hug, but he just mirrored you and welcomed you when you finally crawled over to him. He gathered you close against his chest and pulled you down, the two of you now tightly wrapped together next to a still speechless Hyunjin.

"Was that awkward for you?" you whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck from the sudden wave of embarrassment that washed over you. 

"No, don't worry, it wasn't awkward-" he assured you with a kiss on the top of your head. "It was a… good tutorial"

"I still find it shocking that you've never given a hickey before" 

"I think the reason for that is because I always hated receiving them," Felix confessed, which prompted Hyunjin to come back from the dead, one long pointer finger up in the air.

"That's because you've never gotten one from her" 

"Ok" Felix laughed, "Can we stop with the hickeys? I feel like I'm high-school all over again. Adults don't have hickeys"

"No," you corrected, "Adults don't have hickeys in places others can see. Except that one" you pointed to Hyunjin. 

"You're just jealous"

"Of what? The hickey I gave you?"

"I don't know" Hyunjin gave up with a sigh and lazily rolled off the bed, "I'm gonna have a shower"

"Have fun!" you both laughed and then settled back into a tighter cuddle once the room fell into silence again.

What is this abrupt ending? Idk either, I'm sorry 😖

[velarisdusk]

You think sjm will kill cassian off?…. And that’s why he changed so much

omg.... i fuckin hope not??

like idk,, she doesnt seem fond of killing off anyone in the IC (e.g. rhysand, amren (i fully think she should've died doing the freaky cauldron shit, sorry)).

also i think there was mention at some point of azriel and rhys carrying cassian back somewhere bc he was a little busy keeping his guts from falling out?? or was that a fic i read LMFAOOOO

idk i dont think it'll happen but who the fuck am i to say, this is coming from the bitch that doesn't see plot twists or character deaths coming like 98% of the time.

PERSONALLY, i think the reason he changed so much is, and dont kill me please, sjm is not a very consistent author...... i love the series so much but there are so many inconsistencies. and i think she was going through some shit while writing acosf right? so maybe characterization fell victim to comfort writing as well?? idk

BUT i can also see the case for thinking he might be killed off. like, she set up a whole thing of nesta being groomed by her mother to be with a prince and then we get the neris dancing scene and nesta's like,, elated that theres someone who can keep up with her. not just her dancing, but her wit and attitude as well. ON TOP OF THAT, while going back through the books for cass's characterization, i found that theres LOTS of mention of him walking side by side with death, he doesnt fear death, he's been followed by death all his life. so maybe thats foreshadowing?

after writing that last bit i am slightly less skeptical of it, but i still do not want my man to die, in my head hes still acowar cass and thats what im sticking with

[averycutesalamander]

reading the snippet of this… fic that could get you in the box, and the ideas of Stockholm got my brain rolling… the idea of him having these struggles and outlets and getting this sick entirely new thrill from some ‘wallflower’ I feel could really affect his psyche hah… obviously we have no clue but if the reader is a wallflower or of the sorts then maybe they’re lonely in a different way boothill is— the idea of becoming dependent and like you said, of being both the knife that cuts and medicine that heals… waow. idk I’m all for unhealthy dependence from trauma bonds especially in a case like this; boothill needing to care for yet hurt, nurture and reader needing some sort of routine and care AGH idk now my brain is spinning giggles nd twirls around….

anyways … I hope you’ve been SOOOO WELL LOVELY, and despite any holds on other projects, ANYYYTHING written by you is a gift . just as you are 🖤 take care of yourself hon

- 🥛

OHHH MILK ANON HOW IVE MISSED YOU 💖💖💖 and yes 100% agree on all of this!!! and omg the bit about the reader being lonely but in a different way than he is.... god that is actually like. a perfect description of an element that i couldn't really put into words lol. it really is the codependency, isn't it.. uhhhhh here let me give you. a whole bunch of context lol

intro for the fic (i still think the opener is really funny lol. later we learn he lives on Elm Street 💀 it's not a hint at anything i just thought it would be an extremely goofy coincidence)

anddd this

and THIS, which is EXACTLY what i was thinking of about the loneliness thing!!

and that is SUCH a juicy dynamic to me. someone who feels like she's never been someone's first priority, who's never been anyone's first pick for their team in dodgeball at school.. what a horrible horrible setup for someone that will later become the obsession of a serial killer lol. be careful what you wish for i guess 💀

also im having a lot of fun with fleshing these characters out lol. Delilah in particular is sooooo fun to write it's ridiculous. she becomes reader's wingwoman later after she realizes Boothill isn't into HER, which is hysterical after reader angsts for so long about how she feels like she's "stealing" Boothill out from under her (when really SHE is the one being pursued) and she's gonna be so mad if she finds out because she's breaking like rule number one of girl code and oggghhhh she's such a bad friend.... and then when Delilah finds out she's like "FUCKING FINALLYYYYYY MY GIRL'S GONNA GET LAIDDDDDDD" LMFAO it kills me every time i go over that section. .....although i do need to rewrite some of it because ive slightly changed the setup of how she finds out....

anyway yeah it's so lovely to see you in my inbox as always 💖💖💖 im glad this resonated with you lol ive lowkey been nervous that the concept would turn people off immediately 💀 anyway LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH MWAH 💝

[blacktrickle]

Hiiii, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I always enjoy hearing your opinions on things so figured I’d ask, do you ever consider delving more into submissive Miles in your writing? 

I’ve noticed with Milex fics with that kind of D/S dynamic that it’s almost exclusively dom!miles, I’ve even noticed on the odd fic where the typical roles are reversed you’ll get comments like “can’t believe you made Alex top, he’d never do that!!!”, which (ignoring the fact we obviously don’t know these people so what they would/wouldn’t do is entirely up to the author and what they want lol) kinda annoys me because I’ve often been enticed by a reverse in that dynamic and I think it’s entirely plausible (and very hot hehe). I appreciate how in your own writing that they both occasionally switch because I think that’s way more common than just designated roles, yet this fandom as a whole can seem very set in their ways sometimes. I’m really not trying to start shit with that last comment haha, I just think it’s interesting that oftentimes when I’ve seen people write something outside of the status quo there’ll be comments being like “no, that’s not right!”. 

I used to read and write d/s Milex fics over on wattpad and found it interesting that they seemed to go down pretty well over there compared to how I’ve seen others here or ao3. I wondered if it was because wattpad as an app seemed to be filled with fans who preferred to read Alex in a more dominant role, compared to elsewhere, but I definitely felt more comfortable sharing my (since deleted) works over there.  

Like I say, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum, I understand people have preferences, I just think it’s interesting how there oftentimes isn’t much wriggle room for straying outside the more typical dynamic and I wonder why that is? Could it be a case of new people not wanting to be an outlier if they also saw comments like I did, or just that existing fics can often have the same themes/dynamics so people interpret that as being closer to canon* since it’s the most common? Or am I way overanalysing and more people just prefer sub!Alex? Who knows, but I’d be interested in your thoughts if you have any! 😅 

*Ive been in a fandom before where I’ve seen people literally hating an actual person for something awful they said to someone else, just for it to transpire that the thing they were so angrily spreading hadn’t actually happened and was made up for a popular fanfic lol so I can see how that could happen

sorry this is a mad late response. i've been thinking about it ever since you asked so i'll try to hit some of your points.

after sitf and kane's clobber are done, i really don't see myself writing more milex in general. sitf specifically explores a lot that i wanted to do with those characters, especially regarding what you're asking about. the final chapters put a nail and a bow on some of how their kink dynamic came to be over the span of twenty years. and i'm pretty satisfied with how i explored that quality of their relationship. kinda can't shake the canon i've built there. so idk if there will be another means to explore it with any kind of depth. especially since i don't really write one shots. and this was the most i've written about kink and sex for fandom ever. and i don't like writing the same subject twice? so idk idk. totally possible that i could write something specific to a Sub miles. but i don't have anything in mind.

as far as the general premise of your ask. in my own experiences as a "kinky fuck," very few people are purely one thing. still, i know there is great reason to write alex as a sub and/or bottom. it's an understandable conclusion or presumption given his pretty blatant intrigue by D/s dynamics. not gonna dig all that deep into his lyrics and stage behavior very much because that horse has been beaten like bongos.

but i still have similar hangups as you. genuine surprise at how little subby or bottom miles there is. there are several moments during the TLSP tour where alex is displaying "dominant" behavior and miles is submissive. i'm immediately thinking of how often he pushes and miles around to put him where he wants. and specifically, there's a moment or three where he grips miles' hair pretty tight and miles is immediately relenting. and don't get me started on alex bridal carrying him away lmaooooo. probably a dozen other moments like that if i had the brain capacity to list them. in general though, alex has always read bratty switch to me lmaooooo takes one to know one. but i'm probably projecting.

that's all to say, miles is (to me) so clearly versatile. he plays both sides of that fence. i don't think he is as bratty or needy, so maybe it isn't as typical for people to notice, but he definitely wants to be a little princess or pet. at least, it seems obvious To Me.

anyway, what you're talking about isn't unique to the milex fandom. almost every fandom i've been in selects roles for their relationship dynamic and goes from there. whether that be top and bottom or dom and sub. also, much of people's understanding of top and bottom and vers and switch and dom and sub all get conflated for a multitude of reasons. so that already makes things wonky.

so given alex's displays as well as the smallness of the fandom, there are only so many writers to write so many flavors. sometimes it feels like miles is being used more as a delivery system to illustrate alex's proclivities than having actual dimensions. but then again, that is pretty common across all fandoms. that is unfortunately how the cookie crumbles.

i personally don't read very much milex anymore, and i never really reach for purely smut fics (which i know sounds wild because sitf certainly has its fair share), but i will always be interested in a submissive miles. if it's executed in the way that would tickle my fancy. i personally don't have interest in daddy!alex, and that was my impression of most dom!alex fics when i first came to the fandom. namely on the x reader side. i haven't really gone back to exploring those waters. but yeah i'd love to read a good fic of alex putting miles on his knees. haha.

regarding people commenting that they don't think a certain character should be written a certain way... HA. bruh. i got an anon once that was like "can you tag bottom!miles because i don't like that and it pulls me out of the story but i wanna keep reading can you put it in your CW" or something along that line. i didn't even respond. if the sex position i wrote the character in ruins the story for you, then i don't want you to reading my fucking story anyway. so shoo. lmao like be fucking forreal. if it matters to you that much, fine. go read a story that is tagged. me? i'll never tag my fics with that. i know sitf is sex-heavy, and i do write the smut in detail... but given the effort i put into all the other parts of the story, you can literally fuck off if you're just scrolling it for the smut. i mean, do what you want, but don't complain to me if i put miles in panties and have alex lay his little ass out.

AND EVEN IF IT WAS JUST ABOUT SEX, YOU CAN LITERALLY GO READ ANYTHING ELSE. ANYTHING. like how dare you come to me like "your story would be better if they switched roles and holes" please get a fucking grip. or at least have the couth not to say it to someone.

anyway, i hope this speaks to the stuff you're asking about! it's totally legit. when i first started around here, i remember not thinking it was such a "problem" for lack of a better word, but now i'm a few years in and... yeah, let's say i stopped being active for reasons related to your criticism.

if you or anyone else has any good subby miles fics, feel free to recc them my way! x

[sennaleee]

Hi! I don’t know if you’re still active, but someone reposted your Too Much Tea fic; they changed the names and made a few minor edits but for the most part it’s the exact same fic and wording. Just thought you’d want to know in case you want to do anything about it. Thanks!

Hello friend, I also answered what I assume was your comment on the actual fic on ao3, but thanks a bunch for bringing this to my attention. Figured I'd hop on here to state that in case anyone else finds something that seems like my writing (or is straight plagiarism like this case) that it's not me - I will only ever post my omo writing under the sennalee(e) name.

That being said, I am hopping on to say that and hopping back off again because life be life-ing and I'm not sure I'll ever be truly coming back to this blog. I can barely figure out tumblr anymore after being gone so long, lol, I straight up can't even figure out where to see who is following me? And the menu is on the left now? Last time I was here it was definitely on the right side of the screen lol I probably sound crazy if it switched years ago.

For anyone who actually is still following me from when I was active and is curious, quick update: I'm married, have a child, and am now on my third job after graduating. Like I said, life be life-ing. Or lifing. Both of those spellings look stupid, which I guess makes sense since they are not actual words.

Anyway. Hope anyone who is reading this is doing well. Maybe someday I'll come back, but probably not. I'm not really in most of the fandoms I used to write about and don't have much time to get into new ones tbh. A Big Girl Job and being a mother kind of take up all your time. I will say that I have been into Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 lately, which has given me a bit of a writing bug - though more for just generic fic (Hansry obvi, ifykyk) than omo, so idk. I only mention it because it's the closest I've come to writing since graduating. Professions can be soul sucking, even if they're a dream come true. (The new job's giving me hope that things can be okay though and I don't actually have to give my entire mind, body, and soul to my job. It's a nice change after the past two years of absolute hell.)

I'm rambling and I doubt anyone really cares, lol. Moreso again just wanted to address the weird plagiarism thing (because what the heck is that about, eh?) (and thank you, dear anon, again for letting me know) and give a brief life update so this can sit at the top of my tumblr for anyone wondering if I'm still around. I do still occasionally get messages asking if I'm around and making requests (which go to my email, hence how I saw and responded to this one), and I do appreciate all the love and support I received for this blog back in the day. <3 Peace out, friendos.

(I'm fucking editing this to add - this was my goddamn fucking 100th post. The absolute poetry. Okay, NOW I'm out.)

[alice1505]

I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.

• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????

• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????

• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???

• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.

• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)

• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍‍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)

• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.

There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.

Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂

[haveihitanerve]

how do ppl function w/o someone giving them input

I started writing smth, tis a ABO batfam thing (gonna be my first attempt writing abo) and I literally am so critical of myself that I don't read my own stuff so I get my friends to do it for me

lol- i don't have anyone proof-reading my work before i post it(mostly bc a lot of people in my life dont know that i write and/or the kind of stuff i write/have the same tastes as me)

and ummmm.... idk. I kind of write it down, and edit it as I go, so I don't have that stage where you go back and reread and are like "wtf is this was i high?" bc... i edit as i go. If something sounds wrong i just delete the whole thing and in the moment am like "what was that" and then move on. (or worst case scenario just stop writing and ignore it for the rest of my life buried in a WIP)

I also try really hard not to be critical of myself, you are your own worse critic and sometimes its good to be critical and improve your work, but i remind myself im still constantly learning, even tho ive been writing for years, there are always ways to improve and get better, and it might not look amazing to you, but it might click perfectly in someone else's head and quite honestly theres always a chance people might love it or hate it and i remind myself that some of my favorite works, books, movies, shows, etc, have bad reviews and some are even loathed, but I found joy in them, and so theres always a chance someone else might find that joy in something I've written, and I'm always willing to take that chance and give that one person a spark of joy :)

also id love to read that ABO fic when youre done if you're ok with it :)

[cherienymphe]

https://www.tumblr.com/cherienymphe/774423087395504128/i-know-you-talked-about-how-people-getting-upset

It’s literally so dumb 😭 like they get mad when people write dark fan fiction that is consistent with the themes in whatever show/movie/book they watch/read. Make that make sense please!

And in the case that there’s a “wholesome” character that’s featured in a dark piece of media (and even then they most likely still have dark undertones), you still shouldn’t be surprised when people in the fandom decide to make dark fan fiction about them because… it’s a dark fandom! So of course they’re going to want to explore those themes! If you’re okay with dark content in whatever media it is you’re consuming, how come it’s not okay when people write it in fan fiction (regardless of how morally righteous or unrighteous the character is)?

I just can’t believe people in a fandom like HOTD get upset when they see incest in fics. How come they don’t have a problem with watching it in canon but they draw the line at reading it in fan fiction? You would think that people who watch a show like that would be the last to complain about dark content in fics but apparently not

Also the thing about people getting mad when others in the IWTV fandom ship Loustat is interesting because iirc aren’t they literally a canon couple in The Vampire Chronicles books? Granted I haven’t read them or seen the show and I only half-watched the movie. But if that’s true then why are people upset? 😭

Loustat is canonically toxic and the show has a way more accurate portrayal of the dynamic than the movie and yes while I think someone can enjoy the exploration of said dynamic in the show or books or whatever without actually shipping them, it's incredibly unserious to get mad that other people do. Idk I don't think anyone has a right to police how others engage with media in general, but especially so in a fandom of content that explores dark and taboo themes.

Like if you're enjoying the dragon incest show with me then you kind of especially have no right to get mad when I enjoy the dragon incest content the fandom makes or make my damn self lol. People on Twitter make fun of people like that all the time because why are you wearing some "I engage with gothic media soo ethnically" badge when you're here with me

[runraerun]

are you still talking prompts? I’m not sure what you’re into but can I give you a few just in case some aren’t your thing?? 1. Fem!harringrove 2. Daemon harringrove au 3. Cat boy!steve 😍😍 it’s up to you what billy would be… 4. I keep seeing artwork of Spider-Man!steve so maybe??? 👀👀👀 and venom!billy perhaps??? I love your fics!

*kicks in your door* 🦶💥🚪

DID SOMEONE SAY CAT!BOYS?!👀

Now, idk if I have a whole fic in me for this prompt but I love the idea of a Harringrove Cat!Boys AU. :3

Picture it with me anon; Billy moving to Indiana with his sandy blond cat!boy ears out, maybe he’s got a little earring in one. Maybe he’s got a chunk missing out of the other because Billy’s a scraper/or Neil is a monster, dealers choice.

But it’s a shock to the rest of Hawkin’s High when he shows up without his ears pinned down.

Because in Indiana, hell, in most of the civilized world, you didn’t just walk around with your ears out. It was downright obscene!

But Billy’s from California, a place full of liberals and hippies, and Billy’s mom was a big “nature knows best!” kind of gal—always barefoot, with her hair down and her ears out. So Billy sort of carries that with him.

Billy’s ears flatten to his head when he’s playing basketball/when he’s taunting Steve. Maybe they perk up when Steve walks by. Twitch when he hears someone mention Steve’s name.

They give up the game entirely—which is why most people have their ears pinned down. But Billy hates the idea of conforming. Plus it just sucks having your ears pinned down all of the time. That shit hurts!

When Billy finally convinces Steve to show him his ears, it’s a moment of vulnerability for Steve. He’s never shown anyone his ears. Not even Nancy when they were dating. It’s like seeing into someone’s soul or something—it’s a big deal!

But when Steve’s dark brown ears are free, they don’t spring up like they’re meant to. They’ve been trained to lay flat, so it takes a few ear rub sessions from Billy to get them to stand up to their full height. And they’re big ears. Bigger than Billy’s. And once they’re not so sore, they’re quite expressive. They’re a little twitchier than Billy’s too—more sensitive, just from being pinned down for so long. Billy’s mildly obsessed with them and how cute they make Steve look. Can’t keep his hands off of them.

Steve doesn’t wear his ears out in public like Billy does, but now when they’re alone, he unpins them and lets them out around Billy. Hell, there may even be some purring when nightly ear rubs occur. :3

And they lived happily ever after—the end!

ALSO I’m a little confused about the Daemon!AU prompt. Like Daemons from His Dark Materials (like animal familiars?) or like Daemon Targaryen? Please tell me anon, I’m very curious!

Also the Spidey!Steve x Billy!Venom has me in an absolute CHOKEHOLD wow. I may need to work on that one before I have any real ideas other than I adore it. <3

Fem!Harringrove has never really been my thing but it is very sexy and wonderful and who knows I may come around eventually!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PROMPTS ANON! I love you I love you I love you. Thank you for reading and submitting. <3

Want more? Submit a prompt today!:D

[madness-combat-confessions]

Okay idk if this is the most Obvious shit and im just slow or if theres been an ask about this or something but we need to talk about cloning and the AAHW more imo!!

If the thing about sanf and dei being previous members (and i think doc being confirmed?) then that begs many questions. Jeb and tricky were also members and we know their lore as past scientists for nexus and then jeb was "hired" by auditor and tricky too probably but we dont have a direct confirmation afaik but everyone else is just? Vauge?

Like either A) AAHW has people working for it that are not clones like the mass agents and soldats and engineers and they are never mentioned (which would be stupid imo considering how far we are into the story) or B) they are all clones that dissented which for deimos is yk not far fetched considering his poster outright stating it

BUT THEN THAT BEGS THE ISSUE ON HAND. Everyone that ive seen online considers the agents as personality-less fucking creatures and i think even canon says smt like that about them but like.. if a clone can dissent then they probably Arent as bland as they seem. And even that isnt far fetched, i mean they hold birthdays apparently and play games to pass time. How deep does it go? How much will do they have? They seem to be conditioned to never run when Hank aka (almost) certain death is around which is one thing but are they scared of death? Do they have favorite foods and colors? How human (or in this case grunt) are they? Is it just Some of them that have self awareness/personality? Are they coded to have a personality? If yes is it random or set? Would the AAHW bother to code a random persona generator?? Do they perhaps lose more of their indaviduality/humanity as they progress up on the food chain to be soldats or engineers??

Idk i keep seeing agents n shit in fics and stuff be shown as these sometimes mechanical creatures with 0 varying personality and 0 humanity and it makes me heavily wonder about them. Maybe theyre just a bit dumber than average due to being mass cloned? Shrug. I dont know i think theyre more interesting when considered to be actual people than just. Puppets. They are metaphorical and sorta physical puppets yeah but like they held a birthday man. Fuck. They had a birthday.

Agents keep me up at night.

-anon MMS if i can claim that cuz its funny /opt!!

Glad to know that I'm not the only one who also thinks about the AAHW!

I personally think/headcanon that basically everyone in the AAHW is a clone because anyone that could had been an actual real person is dead (lol). And idk how to explain it but from what I've read they lack S-3LFS, but they still are kinda like people? Like they might just appear like mindless clones who only wanna kill Hank, and they are that don't get me wrong, but I think they also still act like people to some extent (or at least some of them)

I mean one of the agents in MC 9.2 had been writing "We are abandoned " on a wall so to me that says they're capable of understanding their situation and feeling sad (?) about it?

Now I'm not sure on the engineers and the soldats, I mean a soldat literally blew a rocket where their team was because they thought their boss had told them to. Which makes me think two things

1: The AAHW is a bit too blindly devoted to the Auditor. Which is probably because they are clones that were made/'programmed' to be that way.

2: I think that the soldats and the engineers have less "free will" than the agents because of the ATP

There's also something else I wanna talk about

This:

Like hello? What the fuck did this guy do?

From my understanding what is considered a dissenter in this series is someone who goes against the Auditor and the agency. So what did this guy even do? Did he try to betray them like Deimos and Doc did?

Or was it perhaps something minor like not doing their job? Like actually make a decision for their own and don't do what the Auditor says for once, like how an actual person would do?

I wanna say that's a stupid reason to kill one if their agents, but it's a possibility: the Auditor is shown to not really take it kindly when people don't do their job, she literally sliced a grunt in half for it. Even though all the grunt did was play cards with some other agents.

I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case this guy was damned a "dissenter" and killed by the Auditor (or maybe the other members) for that reason.

So taken to account that they are soulless clones but can still 1: celebrate birthdays 2: play games to pass time 3: dislike their shitty ass situation I'd say that they have some personality, it's just that the Auditor is too strict to allow them to show/act like it. Because she doesn't want people with free will in the agency he wants mindless clones who'd do whatever she says.

Does this make sense I swear it does in my head I'm just bad at putting it to words.

[danmei-confessions]

Adding my two cents as a survivor of multiple forms of abuse (including CSA): I *really hate* how this fandom acts about abuse narratives-- demonizing one abuse survivor vs another, when in reality both of them have done fucked up things as a result of their trauma (it's what makes both LBG and SJ so compelling to me personally!!). I *especially* hate how people seem to basically "tier" abuse, with SA being the "worst trauma" over any other kind and acting as though SJ is more worthy of... pity? idk because of implied CSA (which... that in itself is fanon and up for interpretation... I personally think so, but in a somewhat different way than the usual interpretation but that isn't important) than LBG is... that might not be peoples' intent, but physical vs sexual abuse shouldn't be a "this is worse than that" sort of thing since different traumas affect different people differently, and it's really really uncomfortable to see people make that kind of assumption and talk about very real traumas that very real people face the way they do.

Anyway, I feel like a lot of the debates are due to piss-poor reading comprehension across the fandom. People point out that SJ abused LBH because *a lot of times people will actually act like he didn't.* Things like saying there was medicine in the tea, or that he didn't know/approve of the fake manual... even claims that "that was just the way things were and corporal punishment was normal." Which... is pretty gross tbh.

I like SJ's character as a person who was hurt who then turned around and took that out on others. He's one of my favorite characters because he shows that less inspiration-porn, poor-meow-meow side of a trauma survivor. It's realistic in a very gritty, bitter sort of way. That shit can fuck people up! I relate to him for so many reasons, but that doesn't mean I'm going to deny what he ended up doing by his own agency later. The cycle of abuse is a real danger, and SVSSS actually portrays that really well, which is why I like the book so much!

Idk. SJ stans claim they "don't excuse his abuse" but that's absolutely not true bc I've had people come on my posts and fics doing just that. It's like they miss the point of the character-- not completely scum, but both scum and pitiful... Some people seem to go too far in the defense.

Also, if you're someone who doesn't deny that SJ abused LBH, then *this isn't about you.* It's about the people who do. People in this fandom need to realize that both SJ and LBG are abusers, and that that's the POINT OF THE WHOLE THING, and that neither of them should be excused for it!! But the source of it should still be recognized in both cases!! And I feel that a lot of people don't like to admit that SJ, despite his trauma, *was* the cause of a lot of LBH's trauma. And me saying this ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT ERASE HIS OWN TRAUMA OMG but like... those SJ fans are already well aware of SJ's trauma and LBH's crimes so it doesn't really need to be mentioned??

LBG and SJ were BOTH TRAUMA SURVIVORS. Neither "Worse" than the other because uhhh clearly they were both incredibly traumatized because of the way they ended up turning out. Stop ranking trauma, that's disgusting.

But BOTH OF THEM WERE ALSO ABUSERS.

That. Is. The. POINT. OF. THEIR. STORY!!!!

This is at ANYONE who denies either the victim or the abuser status of either of these characters: fucking stop it. You might not like to hear it, but no matter how traumatized SJ was, the way he treated LBH was still abusive and if you excuse him for it then you're participating in abuse apologism. The same goes for LBG (and any other character whose actions are abusive).

I know we get attached to our favorite characters for various reasons, but when it actually starts veering into abuse apologism IN ANY FORM, that makes me feel really sick and uncomfortable with the way people talk about things that *actually happen to people irl.*

SVSSS fandom, you need to fucking stop.

.