#but also i reallllllllly just need to finish this

[honeyhotteoks]

every time i want to finish a chapter of something i just come here and tell y'all "chapter incoming" and then it tricks my adhd into thinking i have a deadline

anyways

chapter incoming

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Alt. Timeline: Todoroki ver. [Part 1]

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

Star tears in which Todoroki falls for Momo first.

shortly after the exam with Aizawa he doesn’t know what he’s feeling but just admires her strength and quick thinking

and him hanging out with Deku and Iida at lunch means Todo hears all the nice and good things Momo does when she and Iida to discuss class prez stuff

which intensifies this ??admiration?? and respect more

and he just?? Holds onto those feelings unable to figure out what they are until idk maybe holidays where 1A and 1B throw that holiday hotpot party

and Momos really cute lookin’ in that Santa hat she made with the festive turtleneck

and so that feeling inside Todo grows into something more??? bc "oh shit she cute".... and Todo’s blushing while looking at her from afar. Probably.

so Todo talks to Fuyumi abt it and Fuyumi’s like: “I think you like her Shouto”

and he writes to his mom abt it and Rei's like: “she sounds like a lovely girl Shouto”

and he texts Natsuo abt it and Natsu's like: “aw little bro has a crush”

but all the while this is happening, Momo's gotten closer with Iida over class prez stuff and hero stuff and everyone in 1A (read: mina and hagakure) think iimomo might be a thing???

ofc Momo denies it and making excuses politely like "no no ofc not we're being responsible class prez and vice prez" but she’s kinda stuttery while doing so, so no one buys it

and no ones brave enough to ask Iida except Ochako but he gives some straight laced answer like "i admire her work ethic and respect her as a hero and vice prez" but he also has some tint of blush across his cheeks

so idk fast forward to graduation where Todo's been holding onto these feelings for Momo since first year and iimomo is still very very likely

so its all cherry blossom petals flying around and congratulatory celebrations

and when Todo sees Momo amongst the sakura trees smiling like he's never seen before (bc they're finally officially heroes!!) he thinks she’s beautiful

but just as he's about to approach her, Iida approaches her and Todo can see she's blushing and he knows its really not good to eavesdrop on one of his best friends and the girl he likes

But... he's curious.

or so he lies to himself.

Ofc what he hears isnt what he ever wants to,,,,

cuz Iida just confessed to her.

and she feels the same.

and a star tear slips from Todo's eye as he walks away.

he stops mid step as he touches his cheek bc he didnt even realize he was crying

but what are these tears??? What’s happening?? He's never had these before bc even though Todo is an emotional crier, he doesn’t cry that often.. only when he is completely overwhelmed with emotion

so he has this dumbfounded expression staring at his fingers as these star tears are twinkling out of his eyes catching sunlight and sakura petals

until he hears "Youre a fucking idiot" from a few steps away

Bakugou. 

(Baku really likes eavesdropping ok its not the first time lol)

Baku: theyre called star tears.

Todo: You know what these are?

Baku: it happens when you like someone and that person doesnt like you back, idiot.

Todo: ... oh.

Baku: get that shit sorted or you'll go blind

(And for those who are curious, yes maaaayyybe Bakugou has a case of the stars in this timeline too, that’s how he knows. To whom? I'll let you decide bc honestly, I just want todobaku brotp bonding over unrequited love)

so now Todo thinks he might be fucked. One of his best friends confessed to the girl he likes too and she likes him back and now Todo has this disease that might make him go blind and might get in the way of heroing (which they've all secured post graduation positions by now) and what can he do about it?

nothing, says the doctor he sees. The disease is not curable and the only way to stop it is to have your feelings returned else you'll go colour blind and then completely blind, so he's told.

ya he's really fucked.

maybe its a good thing then, that he doesnt cry often. It makes it easier to ice over these feelings, freeze them in time with the memories of U.A.; of his last congratulations to her and her smile at the end of the ceremony an hour after he overheard that confession

maybe its another good thing that right after graduation, everyone went off to their own positions as side kicks with agencies across japan, focusing on heroing

but its 3 months after graduation that Iida tells Deku and Todoroki that he is seeing Momo when they meet up every Friday to catch up

its 6 months after graduation that its publicly announced in Hero Magazine that Ingenium and Creati are dating

its 9 months after graduation that he sees Iida and Momo attending the Hero Association's rising stars gala as a couple and are seated at the same table as them

(Bakugou is scowling at him across the table.)

Todo tries. He really does. To be happy for them.

but he's angry at himself that he can't be happy for them. That it saddens him to see Momo glowing under the ballroom lights but its not himself to make her shine like that, its Iida. That he sees she is the one to make Iida genuinely happy in the way his eyes light up when he smiles at her.

and all three times Todo goes home, lies down alone in his room, an arm slung across his forehead as the star tears leak from his eyes.

he starts to lose seeing colour at 12 months.

after 24 months he needs glasses for colour correction (and ironically gets a sponsorship with the brand. The fashion magazines print headlines for weeks "Hot-Cold Hero Shouto Fall Fashion! See page 7 spread for his newest spotted specks and turtle necks")

at 36 months Iida breaks the news. Iida's gonna propose to Yaoyorozu and wants him, Deku, and his brother to be his groomsmen

she said yes.

and a part of Todo washes away with the star tears flooding him room and twinkling against the tatami.

he tries to stay out of the wedding planning as much as possible. He'll go to the tuxedo fittings as requested and still keep up hearing the updates when seeing Iida and Deku for their weekly get together on Friday nights. 

But for anything involving Momo's presence, there will always be a "sorry i have a mission that week", "sorry im visiting my mom", "sorry Endeavor needs to see me about the agency"

... all excuses Bakugou knows, but the others pay no mind. They are rising heroes near the top of the billboard by now

month 48. Wedding day.

she's stunning. Gorgeous. A near goddess walking down the aisle on her big day.

but she's not walking down for him. No its for iida.

there was the ceremony, the cheers, the congratulations, the reception. Fairy lights around the dance floor and along the walls, champagne glittering after the sound of a cork

Todoroki stands off to against the wall as the night dies down, a glass in hand, watching the newly weds grace the dance floor.

someone slides up beside him, he feels the presence. Bakugou.

"She's beautiful isnt she?"

"Yeah."

. . .

a star tear falls from Todoroki's eyes, twinkle hidden among the fairy lights and champagne glitter.

she's beautiful, but maybe its a good thing I can't see

somebody said: what if she knows everything that had happened and the reason why he couldn't continue his career is bc of her?

me: ok you’re asking for it

Momo, 3 months pregnant with iimomo baby, announces with Iida the news to their friends

the soon to be parents want to choose godparents for the baby so Iida gets to choose the baby’s godmother and Momo gets to choose the godfather

and ofc along with the announcement Momo asks Todoroki to be the kid’s godfather

he can’t say no to her.

the same week later Todo and Momo's agencies are requested to deal with this one villain case while Ingenium's agency deals with another in another town (later turns out the cases were connected)

small talk, civil, very professional between Momo and Todo when they’re in the debriefing

at this point Todo's pretty much completely blind and uses some special contact lenses from Hatsume to help "see"

but the contact lenses can only do so much as to detect light movement and shadows and it reallllllllly doesnt work well when he's using his fire 

so Todo already had tossed around the idea of running away to the mountains like Roy did in the FMA 2003 ending, "mysteriously" retiring bc really his vision cannot keep up

until this last mission with Momo

and really its been nearly a decade now since they last worked together side by side (not since U.A. he thinks).. so just let the blind man be selfish one last time

and so smth smth missiom happens, Todo and Momo fighting side by side

but Momo senses there’s something off with Todo's movements? His reflexes are slower.. it doesnt seem like he's prediciting the opponents moves like he used to.. he's more so reacting and retaliating than attacking..

she chalks it up to that they havent fought side by side in a long time and his style must’ve changed and really, she doesnt know him anymore... not like she used to

smth smth 3 months pregnant Momo gets hurt, knocked unconscious for a bit

Todo saves her

and when she comes to, while Todo's holding her, star tears fall onto her cheek from Todo's eyes. 

She's shocked. Reaches up to gently graze a finger tip at his left cheek.

"Todoroki-san, these are?"

and again its like Todo didnt realize he was crying. He jerks away from her hand and brushes her off with "its nothing”. Changes the subject with "are you ok?"

Momo: yes.. i think so

Todo: and the baby?

Momo, sitting up: we're ok I think

Todo, moving away: good

the mission concludes and they meet up with Ingenium’s group to wrap up the two ends. Todo slips away before Iida and Momo and approach him

theres no activity from Todoroki for the next month

neither Iida, Deku or anyone else in 1A know where he went except the Hero Association's vague comment on "Hot Cold Hero Shouto has taken a sudden indefinite hiatus"

(Only Todo’s family knows and Endeavor asked the Association to say "hiatus" instead of "retirement" bc Enji wants to believe in his son making a comeback. He didnt stop Shouto from taking off)

and ofc Momo upon hearing this is so confused??? Her last mission with him was the last time she saw him and he was crying. Why was he crying? Strange star tears twinkling and landing on her cheeks? What even is that phenomenon?

its too many questions and ofc Momo's gonna investigate. For the sake of her friend.

so she digs up all the texts she can find on star tears. Internet search all the possibilities. Consults the doctors at the hospital. Even asks Tenya if Todoroki has been acting strangely during their weekly catch ups.

but Tenya tells her Todoroki hasnt been the the meet ups since after their wedding

so she asks anyone in their pro hero circle of associates she can think of. Tsukiyomi, Burnin', heros from his agency, anyone she can think of that has worked with Todoroki before and could comment on his behaviour

no body knows. No body noticed anything different either. Sure there were some off days but the Hot Cold Hero Shouto was always on his game being one of the top 3 heroes on the billboard charts

she searches and searches, splitting time interviewing colleagues and researching the possible star tears phenomenon

until eventually her search takes her to...

Bakugou.

Of course.

Momo, pleading: please Bakugou, you know something about him dont you?

Bakugou, who at this point had been very careful trying not to get cornered knowing her investigation: save it pony tail, you’re about to have a baby. Go have people harass you about that brat in your oven instead of harassing other people

Momo, nearly begging: please. You and I both know he's strong and a good hero that would not suddenly retire. Whatever he is doing, he might need help.. please tell me Bakugou.

... theres something about pregnant women that you cant say no to.

Bakugou, relenting: tch. The half ass is somewhere in Yokohama

and thats all she needs nearly running waddling (as fast as a pregnant woman could) out the door

Bakugou, calling out after her, still reluctant: when find that half ass, i suggest you throw him a gift. Literally. Throw it at him. He deserves it.

she finds him along the port, watching the sunset in Yokohama (its really not that hard to find someone with heterochromia and two tone hair in a city, especially if youre a hero that knows what methods heroes will use to go incognito)

and for some inkling of a feeling, Momo takes Bakugou's advice. She has a carton of strawberry milk in hand.

Momo, a few feet away from him: Todoroki-san, it's been a while.

Todo, turning his head in her direction: Yaoyorozu...?

Momo, sadly smiling: the sunset is beautiful here isnt it?

Todo, brows furrowing: .. sure. Yaoyorozu what are you doing here--

Momo, interrupting him: --i brought some snacks. Strawberry milk, you liked this while we were in school right? Catch.

she tosses it at him.

he tries to reach out.

But he'es completely off. And misses

Momo, sad: Todoroki-san. You're blind, arent you?

Todo, guilty: ah.

Momo, tearing up: will you please tell me?

he still can say no to her and confesses his story

and when he's finished telling the tale of star tears, the stars above are twinkling too

she's crying and choking and sobbing through tears and its intensified by baby Iida with pregnancy hormones

But the last thing she manages to croak out at the very least is still wholly her

She apologizes

“Im so sorry Todoroki- san. I cant love you that way.”

“I know.”

END NOTES:

red is the last color Todoroki wanted to lose because it reminds him of Momo

during missions, as long as he could see her, “that’s ok” he thought. she is the only one he sees in color. that is okay with him

to him, Momo is his shining star. And there’s something tragically poetic of him losing his sight to the stars if its for his shining star Momo

He leaves the last stars in a tiny little jar like those paper stars as a gift for her with just the words on a note "goodbye Momo" the day after she finds him in Yokohama

Momo has the jar of stars forever on her bedside and looks at them with this melancholy expression. Baby Iida grows up and asks mom: "what is that jar of stars?" 

Momo responds: "a gift from someone that was blinded by love"

Bakugou in this timeline had a case of star tears too but I'd like to think he got his feelings requited so he never went blind to contrast Todo

So thats why Baku is (begrudgingly) sympathetic to Todo cuz he thinks: “that could’ve been me”

The ending shot of a blind Todoroki in a dark room, all alone, eyes closed, thinking back to Momo's shining smile from UA surrounded by star light with a sad smile on his face and it fades to black

> archives masterpost

[canaryatlaw]

okay, I’m tired. today was a lot. I woke up at 6 and made good time getting to work, making sure I was prepped for the FIVE cases I had up in court this morning, with the client present for each case...so that’s a lot of clients to handle, lol. I had to get them all into the office and then my supervisor was going to handle the two in one courtroom and I did the three in the other. the one of my 3 that was a first return didn’t end up showing up which made things a lot easier because it was one less person to juggle, and that case specifically had a spanish speaking client and I do not speak very much spanish (though I’ve concluded I really should start learning more for this job) so I would need to have another present to translate and that also means the case has to wait for the official court translator to get there, and it’s all just a hot mess. the two cases I did handle went as expected and were easily handled, and I was down from court by 10:15. after I got my clients squared away, I got a text from my supervisor saying in their courtroom they were still waiting for them to call the cases and my coworker had this huge hearing starting at 11 that she needed to check in with her before, so I ended up going back upstairs and retaking over my two cases. Apparently the judge had let someone go on for like 30 minutes in a motion which is just not something you do during the morning court call, so now everything was super behind, and to make things worse the giant hearing my coworker had was set for 11 in that courtroom, and couldn’t start until all the cases were cleared. the cases did get called but then had to be recalled so we didn’t end up getting out of there until like 11:30, at which point my supervisor and coworker were back up there along with OC and like 10 witnesses all waiting for the court to finish and I’m just like damn, I’m so sorry...there’s a whole history with this case of it taking months to actually get to hearing but I won’t get into that now. so it was a lot. once I had all my clients squared away, I worked on post-court stuff for a while that needed to be done, as well as helping out with clinic. Wednesday is my work buddy’s normal clinic day, but since it was his turn for Monday this week (that we rotate) he had already seen a lot of clinic haha so I tried to do what I could to help out. at one point I just ended up organizing his paperwork that was all in a giant pile on the empty desk in his office and he was just like “....are you organizing my paperwork? why??” and I was like “well it needs to be done so I might as well do it!” haha but he very much appreciated it. Tomorrow is going to be my second clinic day of the week, since I switched with my coworker who has the hearing that will continue for another like 6 hours tomorrow, so this week has been work buddy day, my day, work buddy day, then my day again lol. this week in general has just been super busy so I’m prepared for it to be a lot. I also have a court case to handle in the morning which will prove to be interesting, the OC filed a motion that is completely incorrect in all of its arguments, but ultimately comes to the right conclusion out of sheer dumb luck, so we can’t dispute that but I just reallllllllly want to make sure the court knows how ridiculously wrong the motion is. I haven’t met this OC before but I’ve talked to him on the phone once and emailed with him a bit, he seemed friendly over the phone but the following email seemed much more hostile in tone so I wasn’t sure what to do with that. I just know that when it comes to older male private attorneys 90% of the time they’re going to look down on me for being a new lawyer when they’re the ones that actually have no idea what they’re doing and I just want to shove it in their face every time and make sure they realize just how much they fucked up. so that might end up being interesting, lol, I’m gonna try to hold off on any unnecessary fighting, but we’ll see what happens. I left around 5 and made my way home, then got Thai food with a friend which was nice, the last time we were there we both had strong negative reactions to one dish but not in a way that was any fault of the restaurant, so it was good to confirm that we can still eat there and be okay lol. came back home and watched some more of The Crown before showering and starting to get ready for bed and I am now here and tired and it’s just past midnight so that sounds like a good time for me to go to bed, so I’m gonna do that now. Goodnight friends. Hope your week is going well.

[tellywoodtrash]

Heyy! I really loved your analysis on The Great Indian Dysfunctional Family! Could you give your honest review on it? I mean how did you find it's plot, the story, acting, directing all in all the show and what would you rate it? Thank You! Have a nice day! :)

Hello anon!

I’ve got to thank you for sending in this question, coz I did mean to do an overall review for the show beyond the lbs, and was just dragging my feet and being a lazy POS about it. You’re keeping me honest. :)

Tbh, I’m not sure how exactly to rank or rate this show. Until Ep 6. (the one with the big reveal) I really liked it. I really really liked it. But then the show just took a bizarre turn after the reveal. The plot went kinda off the rails, most of the characters were acting very strangely, and I was just left wondering why they built all this up and made me care about these characters just to bring it all crashing down like this.

The story

Nothing new, it was basically a Kapoor & Sons ripoff; right down to the whole vibe; everything from the setting at this hillstation-esque area, to the house parties, to the interpersonal dynamics (the feuding brothers, one of whom is oblivious as to why the other one is so resentful of him; the chill idgaf elder with the shenanigans; husband-wife tension; one of the characters is gay…) to how it all played out (reveal at a fun party right after a troubled marriage got a second wind, sudden untoward death of a parent, brothers making peace after…) all seemed straight up taken from that movie. They adjusted it a little here and there to accommodate the characters and make it seem different, but overall, it was just Kapoor & Sons, the TV version.

The plot

Like I said above, I really liked the way the show was written till Ep. 6. They built up the world really nicely; the family dynamics were uneasy yet stable in a manufactured way, and it all goes to hell with the entry of the ‘outsiders’ Samar and Sonali. I liked their relationship; they seemed like a couple who not only loved each other romantically, but also genuinely liked each other as who they are as a person. They’re still in their honeymoon phase, unaware/blind of each other’s more icky personality traits. Their coupling is so perfect, that even his own mother feels vindicated when they have a minor tiff, claiming no husband and wife are ever THAT happy. On the other hand we have Vikram and Geeta, who are barely holding on to their marriage; their tension is out in the open, even as much as Geeta tried to play it down. I liked how they paralleled the two couples. They also built up the suspense well; it was pretty obvious that there had been infidelity on Geeta’s part and Mridul’s paternity was in question, but the way they ramped it up was good. All this playing around Addu’s coming out, and the social ramifications of such an act in small town India, was well done. It’s after Ep. 6 that everything goes downhill. Samar and Geeta’s characters get reallllllllly unlikable. Their only regret seems to be that everyone found out, rather than the actual deed. And neither of them seem to be really apologetic? Samar kinda brushes it off after making two, three guilty faces/dialogues, Geeta picks fights with Vikram who’s trying to make peace with her despite the fact that she slept with his brother? Ek toh chori, upar se seena jori. Just distasteful. The pace of the show also suffers post ep. 6; everything just unfolds so quickly, yet nothing is really happening, and I was just confused as to what the point of all this was, and how the characters would eventually resolve this emotional quandary. But also, with the insufferable way most of them were acting, I didn’t really care either. I was just like eh, whatever, you’ve made your beds, now lie in it. The writing for all the characters just made me apathetic to their fates. The convenient killing off of PL was just dumb and contrived. Also confusing, because they had this story-telling device of starting every episode a little bit in the future and then flashing back to the point that led to this. Idk why in just that one episode (#9) they start with that scene of her at home, high on pain meds, signing to Begum Akhtar in her sleep and then suddenly it was cut to her dying in a hospital? Just weird, and it really bothered me. But again, I was just so done with these dumbasses that I didn’t actually care.

But I do have some questions about stuff that was faulty/left unresolved:

Why was Geeta talking to Kashyap on the phone saying she “needs” him and asking him to take her away from all this? Just a random red herring to throw us off? That’s pretty bullshit.

The “clues” that Sonali used to put together the secret were pretty shaky at best. He apparently lied about landslides in the area (which… is a weird lie to keep telling over and over about a place? But also the policeman who stopped the vehicle in the earlier ep. clearly stated that it was because of a landslide. So he wasn’t even lying…) and about when/why he learned sign language? How does that lead you to ‘OMG Samar’s the father of Mridul’?? 

The whole Mridul is premature thing and was conceived when Vikram wasn’t in Kannuri thing. Geeta/Samar clearly slept together when Vikram was there. So……… That whole plot point is just null and void. He could be either brother’s kid.

Did Addu get to go to Delhi afterall? I hope she did. She deserved to get outta this close-minded small town and go live her life in a place where she could exist on her own terms. 

What were we supposed to make of the ending for Samar/Sonali? I mean, the show seemed to imply they stayed together; but from what we’d seen of Sonali as a character, she didn’t seem like the type who could make peace with disingenuity like that… Even if Samar and Sonali did stay together, it was highly unlikely she would be able to hang around with Geeta/Mridul ever again. Idk, they just left that hanging up in the air, and it was unsatisfying.

The cast

Kay Kay as Vikram: It’s completely his show. His character is the best written, and the most satisfying one to follow from start to finish. And he plays all the different facts of Vikram well: the angry, bitter man who’s lost himself as well all emotional connection with his family, the exasperated dad trying to come to terms with Addu being gay/Mridul’s effeminate tendencies, the more charming husband/loving big brother he was in the past before all of it went to shit… He plays all of it really well. You start off disliking the character, but the more you see of him, you gradually come over to his side. It’s not that he hasn’t made/isn’t currently making mistakes of his own, but you grow to sympathize with him. I also loved his brief bits of comedy. I’d like to see Kay Kay in lighter roles like these more often.

One qualm though; idk why they had him wear those tacky light-coloured lenses (reminding me of that 2006 -2010ish time in tellywood, when everyone wore those damn lenses. The entire cast of DMG used to wear the same colour and it just looked bizarre.)

Swaroop Sampat as PremLata: She was the actor is was most excited for in this show, and they just fucked me over so bad. She’s hardly in the damn show. I don’t understand why they would underutilize her talents like that. Also I’m not sure of how to feel about PL as a character; she did seem to love her family a lot, but was also very hands-off and just a witness in the bg to everything? She just seemed very uninvolved in whatever was going on, to the point of apathy, just caring about her daily chais and nothing else. But whatever few scenes Swaroop did get, she was radiant and lovely in, as expected.

Barun Sobti as Samar: I always enjoy watching Sobti. Especially in the role of a straight-man to all the madness around him. He’s so enjoyable with his genuine reactions of perplexed and exasperated and amused. But I feel like… Other than in IPK, he isn’t really ACTING. Both in Tu Hai Mera Sunday and here, he plays this chill dude, which is just who he is IRL. It’s just toooooo easy breezy, and I can see that he’s not really putting any major effort into it; compared to Arnav, whom he played in a very measured manner. Also Samar as a character stops being likable after the reveal. His reason for sleeping with Geeta is hardly compelling enough, and so is his demeanour towards Sonali after the reveal. He just doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of what he’s done. The character didn’t deserve to get the easy resolution that he did, especially because he didn’t do any work for it. Bas sabne aise hi maaf kar diya.

Eisha Chopra as Sonali: She’s a revelation. I think I’ve seen her here and there in some web sketches, but this is the first time I’m REALLY seeing her. She’s very charming and confident and a delight to watch. I’ll surely be watching her web series What The Folks in the coming days. Sonali as a character is kind of a mixed bag though. She seemed like a strong, intelligent woman coming into the show, but her bizarre turn into becoming an obsessive snoop who just wants to uncover the family secrets gets pretty annoying. There’s also a brief bit where she’s being a whiny brat for no real good reason? Other than that, I really liked Sonali as a character.

Shriswara as Geeta: A good measured performance. Her character wasn’t clearly defined in the promo, and I thought she’d be a long-suffering wife, but I’m glad she wasn’t. She did keep mum a lot to keep the peace with Vikram (because of her guilt?) but did counter him when required. Her bond with Mridul was the purest, but it was strange how she had no connection with Addu at all? Most of Addu’s parental interaction is with Vikram, despite their tension. She seems to have zero relationship with her mom. I also disliked the turn Geeta’s character took after the reveal. Like I said before, there was no real good reason for her to sleep with Samar. It was just such a flimsyyyyyyyyyyyy plot point. Upar se, she didn’t even seem contrite about it. Like, idk where she got off having that tone with Sonali asking her what her problem is, for wanting to leave after the reveal. It was just jarring. Overall I liked how Sriswara played all the different bits of Geeta; the patient wife just on the brink of losing it, the indulgent mother to Mridul, the woman in a million different clubs because she’s just trying to fill the void in her. As an actor she was very likable, it’s just that the writing for her character was shaky af.

Sanaya Pithawala as Aditi (Addu): I don’t really relate to teenage angst anymore and get annoyed by it, so I can’t really say I connected with her character, but I did feel for her and her heartbreak when Nandu crushes her brutally. I also liked her cool ‘deal with it’ attitude post the incident and the confidence with which she navigated her coming out. The plot with that boy Shashi though, it was confusing… There seemed a legit moment where she was into him. I guess she’s still really figuring out who she is as a person. Her best scenes have to be with Vikram, whether they’re clashing, she’s purposely taking the mick outta him, or trying to make up with him. She was fine, watchable, but I was very distracted by her bad wig.

Prithviraj Sarnaik as Mridul: The purest. The face of an angel. The only character worth rooting for in the show. (I mean Addu too, I guess, but I found her kinda obnoxious at times.) I normally do not like child actors, but this kid was very adorable. He really seemed to have a maturity to him; silently observing and taking in everything. Other than PL, he’s the only one who really gets everything that’s going on here in this shitshow of a family. I felt really bad about how all these badly behaved adults probably traumatised the kid for life. But overall, it was a charming little performance and I wish they’d made him the overarching narrator of the show, coz I loved his little voiceovers every now and then.

Overall

Overall, I’d say this is okay for a one-time watch. It will disappoint you towards the end; because you just stop caring for these characters, which is a mark of crappy writing. But it does have an able star cast that does the best they can with the material on hand, so if you have some time to kill, and like these actors from other stuff, it’s worth a dekko (esp. since each ep is only about 15 - 18 minutes long; you can be done with the whole show in about 3 hours…)

[seouliloquy]

Dribbling Workshop

Today some of my teammates and I attending a dribbling workshop with a pro-player from Japan (but is ethnically Korean). We played near Banpo Hangang park, and did a ton of dribbling exercises on the concrete with chalk circles drawn on the ground to follow. 

It was alright, although a bit poorly organized. They filmed the entire time so the manager in charge (who wasn’t even properly dressed to seem super knowledgable in soccer but whatever) kept focusing on us constantly moving and making sure we do it right so it comes out well in the video...the assistants were very kind and helpful with encouraging us.

I definitely needed this kind of exercise, and my teammates as well. Dribbling and accurate passing, some of the most basic essentials of playing soccer, are ironically our team’s biggest weakness, especially with so many new members who’d prior to joining had never kicked a ball in their life. I wish more of our players had come, to be honest. 

Some of them are pretty talented and pick things up quickly, can run fast, and have so far figured out positioning pretty well. They can be where they need to be to get the ball or block it, or put pressure on the offensive players. However they are still afraid of the ball hitting them, they can’t maintain control of the ball, and can’t make strong, direct quick passes to other players while moving, or kick the ball very far for that matter. I too need a lot of work in these areas, since i’m so out of shape and also barely ran on the field last year since i was playing keeper. Even when making body contact with another player, they are always apologizing, if they fall over, and then they lose possession of the ball. You gotta learn to be kind of selfish, and just play unless the referee calls it. If a person gets pushed over but there’s no whistle, you keep going. And if suddenly a few seconds later there is, because of delayed reaction or the person who fell didn’t get back up, then you can go back and apologize later! 

anyways, the dribbling workshop was alright, and helpful at least despite the circumstances and poor organization. It was too cold to be outside running around near the windy river for 3 hours, and we didn’t even have a warm up or cool down or any stretching. I had to stop and do it myself because my legs were just so heavy and sore from the leg workout at the gym the other day and then practice last night.

speaking of yesterday’s practice, it was great! our new team captain was good at keeping us moving and active and had more structured drills planned. When it’s cold we can’t be standing around, and in previous practices a lot of time was wasted standing around, waiting, and trying to figure out what to do next or how to do an exercise. I’m definitely excited for this year because of it. 

At the end of our practice, we joined with a men’s club team called 아축 and played with them for about half an hour. it was intense! The guys are just too fast, and of course way better at passing. So our newbies who were all placed in midfield and offensive positions did a lot of nothing and running around haphazardly because we played mostly defensively. Captain asked me to play centerback defense with her, and we had two wingbacks on the side. But the guys team had this offensive player that was like stuck to me...who was like 6 feet tall! he was huge...and his legs were probably the length of 2/3 of my body....so he would dart for the ball when it was passed past our defensive line and i chased after him like my life depended on it. I can safely say I got a good workout...

i checked my sports band, when we started the scrimmage i had 5000 steps, when we finished i had surpassed 10,000 steps. 

So that, plus dribbling training today....my whole body is like NOPE. 

I will sleep reallllllllly well (and probably early) tonight lol

[bluebutnotsad]

26-11-18

Hiya :)

It has been over a year since I’ve been here. A LOT has happended over that time. The main thing is I had my first boyfriend for just over a year - let’s call him Brown. Brown and I got together only a few weeks after I started uni, and it was a bumpy start.

In the beginning, he was a super kind and caring person (he still is), and I was some of the time, but I could also be quite mean. I would often say mean things in an attempt to be funny and would disregard others feelings, but that all changed when I realised how badly it was affect Brown. Looking back, I don’t really recognise myself. I cannot believe that I was such a bad person back then, and the fact that it was not so long ago. Needless to say, that was a much needed wake-up call, and just after Christmas, everything was resolved and we were both super happy. I felt so safe and happy knowing I had a boy I could call mine. :)

However, throughout the months of 2018, Brown seemed to have developed pretty severe depression. I tried to be as supportive as I could be, but a lot of times I couldn’t really help in any way. We still were able to have lots of fun times doing things together, but there were times where he would be mean to me. And it really hurt. I stood by him though, because I knew that once he got help from counselling (or another method), that he would be happier and wouldn’t be mean anymore. Even now, all I want is for him to be happy. He hasn’t cried much in front of me, but any time he does, I cannot cope. It broke my heart everytime he cried because I could feel how much he was hurting inside and all I wanted was for him to be happy. 

I know I haven’t said a lot of positive things about him so far, but he really was an amazing boyfriend. So often would he go out of his way for me (like when my anxiety got really bad last winter and I was too nervous to travel on the tube in fear of getting sick, he would travel all the way to get me and bring me to wherever we needed to go) and he always looked out for me. He gave the best hugs and cuddles, and it was so nice knowing I could look forward to them everytime I finished work/uni. We just got on really well (most of the time) and I really want nothing but happiness for him. 

By the start of November, he finally broke up with me. It was really hard on me for the first few days. Especially the day after. I had never wanted to kill myself more than on that day. But I am glad I didn’t. I don’t think I even cried the third day after, and I’m not even sure why. Maybe I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was in the relationship? Whatever the reason, I am glad to be feeling as good as I am right now. 

I don’t think I really like being single, though I know I should at least stay single for a little while. However, there is a guy I like in my anime society. He’s called Yellow. He isn’t even superrrrrr attractive. But he is pretty cute. And tall. And gives good hugs. Lol. I just fell kinda happy around him, but he said he’s straight. But I reallllllllly don’t think so. It’s so hard to imagine him being with a girl (not to mention he never has been). To be honest, I think he tells himself and others that he is straight because his parents are homophobic. He told me his parents get really mad when he ‘acts gay’ and that made me feel really sorry for him. Should I back off? I feel like I should, but being around him feels so good. Idk, idk, idk. I should just focus on someone else, but right now there is no one else. I’m planning on clubbing with some other people soon, so maybe I’ll meet someone that way? I’m kinda hopeful, but not very much so. 

Will Blue ever come out on top (in more than one sense)? I hope so. Lol.