#but also i guess i did send myself into a flare LMAO

[guiltiestlove]

okay okay so maybe im having to grapple with being disabled for 3821 months in a row and how i cant be as productive as i want to be but just know im working on things when i can and you are all very dear to me 🖤

[roadkill2580]

This is what I did when I had two major health scares (first one I was in grad school and found out I had a brain cyst and second one I was abroad and found out I might have cancer). Not sure I would recommend these methods long term or repeatedly because they are also a coping mechanism when you  have depression and can be maladaptive (guess how I know). Basically: I didn’t...emotionally deal with it? I told some friends sure, but it was in that “guess what, I found out I have brain cyst, lmao. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated” sort of way. Instead, I started dealing with the...potential fallout, I guess you could say, of having a major health condition that could potentially lead to death. In grad school I asked professors what the rules and procedures were for accelerating the program (so I could graduate before I potentially died) or going part time or taking a term or two off (in case medical treatment made me unable to study). I did things like investigate what affairs I needed to get in order. Set aside money for funeral costs. When I was abroad, I informed my boss and, again, asked about company rules regarding medical leave and covering my absence and potentially returning home. Because these are all logical things you have to do when you get seriously sick, especially with something life threatening, and I figured it was better to deal with it now while I was still of sound mind and sound enough body to do so, instead of sticking someone else with the job. It sounds really, really morbid, but if you don’t take care of it, a family member or friend will (and depending on what it is they’re dealing with + if you had a will or power of attorney of any kind, it WILL be a family member, which a lot of people don’t want for a variety of reasons). Both times, I told myself there was no point in panicking or getting upset because I didn’t have all the information yet (I needed to get multiple MRIs to determine if the cyst was growing; cells needed to be sent to a lab to test for cancer). I was lucky that I had doctors who explained thoroughly when the problems were first discovered, what they were going to do next and what I possibly had. I also, for my own curiosity, researched the two conditions. For some people that sends them into a panic because “XYZ will happen and then I’m gonna die!” but for me, it helped because I could plan for XYZ symptoms / surgeries / medicines + side effects / etc. I wanted to be prepared. ....anyway and then later on when I was mentally “safe” I had an extended....not really break down, but.....idk how to explain, but basically my depression flared up because I had suppressed my emotions so hard. So like, if you go this route, that’s something to be aware of, and if you can, vent in some place (virtual or not) to someone you feel comfortable doing so, so you can express whatever you’re feeling. I wish you the best of luck and I hope it turns out not to be cancer. I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this.

Anybody have advice on how to not freak out about the possibility of having cancer?

[eroticcannibal]

Second attempt at sending this because as I was typing it it deleted my post and would let me control z it back or even retype it in the window lmao broken new post editor. ANYWAY,,

Im really happy you are so vocally chill with the transabled people doing their thing because like. I have an invisible Issue and dont feel like I belong in the physically disabled community because I -just- have scoliosis and one leg shorter than the other. If I stay in a narrow window of exercise(not too much or too little) and use a shoe insert I very rarely have any level of back or hip pain. Generally speaking, most pain I experience is more my own fault I feel because I was a idiot and did too much bending over or was lazy and didnt do enough partial curl-ups per day to keep muscle that keeps my hips in the right position. I choose to be in pain I guess, as its a choice to do those things, so it doesnt feel like it would count enough to the people who yell if you -just- have fibro or something else super severe and recognized as heavily disabling you're on thin ice to call yourself physically disabled.

I dont feel safe identifying as physically disabled online or offline because its not -enough- for a lot of people. Thus it feels wrong to buy a cane just because some days im dumb and cause myself pain or rarely I have a flare regardless of what I did and I cant bear weight for very long on that leg at all or without pain and that just doesnt feel like enough.

But like if ableds can have canes then maybe I can too.

I am very happy all this posting has made u feel good but I have to stress. And I get why u think otherwise but what you are describing is a very severe physical disability that has a huge impact on your life. Like. Your spine is fucky! Spines are important! Thats a huge deal! And like. Having to stick to a narrow window of activity to not feel pain is a huge deal! having to do specific exercises to not be in pain is a huge deal! Most people aint dealing with that, even other disabled ppl!

It is clearly taking u a significant amount of effort to live relatively pain free, and that is what significant physical disability is. Thats the best any of us get working hard to be sort of ok.

I can understand not feeling safe identifying as physically disabled but thats not even about ur actual disability, most of us feel that way at some point no matter what we are dealing with. Ive known people spending most their time in wheelchairs who can come up with all kinds of excuses as to why they need one but are totally not disabled. Thats just part of living in an ableist society. But I promise u there are countless physically disabled people out there who will welcome u and will understand why u feel like this. I promise u not everyone is going to judge u. Every one of us has dealt with that judgement, and most people do not want to inflict that onto others.

Also pls don't think u are stupid or dumb for causing yourself pain and don't feel like u dont deserve aids because u caused it. Part of living with disabilities is weighing up the pros and cons and sometimes choosing living over symptom management. And no one is perfect, we are all allowed to fail at symptom management.

Please get yourself a cane. Put some nice stickers on it. Treat yourself and give your body some love and care.

[kazuhasbunny]

Giiiirl, imagine you are on Baal's side, you are a general and commanding an army against the rebels' own general, Gorou.

You are all cocky and confident, your years of experience just keeping you aware enough so you won't be consumed by your pride. But oh, your face, when after all of those carefully thought out strategies and intensive training, you end up losing to that mutt.

He is insufferable. Even though his face and body is caked in a mixture only war can give-- blood, sweat and dirt, his smile is the biggest, smuggest thing you have ever seen in your life as a warrior. It does not help that you are on your knees, back stretching forward as the grip he has on your jaw tugs you up with such a force you won't ever believe an archer, a long distance fighter, would posses. The bodies of both sides lay scattered on the defiled land, but the purple spots decorate the most, as his last men stand straight and proud behind him, just as yours do, but the lack the attentiveness. Their tired and bored countenance ticks you in a wrong way. Why they don't look happy by this result?

Does your failure was already predicted? As if this end was something that was already calculated. Taken in account.

The man holding your jaw in a bruising grip let go of you, a mere blink of respite as the next second your left cheek explodes in pain, your vision swaggers for a second as you fall on your right side from the streght of that blow. You shut your eyes and concentrate on your breathing; the fight left you completely drained, as much as your brain screamed at you to stand up and attack that man, your bones and muscles protested as you tensed in hopes of getting up, but ultimately you only made yourself look pitiful.

Gorou turns to were his men are, his gaze lingering for a second on your laughable attempt. His focus switches to the army as he starts to pace from one side to the other, the victory was already decided, but the energy from the feat itself brought a surge of emotions within him.

Another quick glance at you, and something on his mind switched. He was wondering what to do with you; killing you off felt as a meaningless action, as the Shogun won't care for someone as low as yourself. You only were deployed to fight against them to gain time for the real force, to prepare and learn how strong the rebels actually are. With how confident you looked hours ago, it seems that your benevolent Shogun forgot to grace you with such knowledge before sending you off with a bunch of newly trainees.

"First of all, congratulations, my friends, for this well earned victory" Gorou began. The group of men on front of him quickly acknowledge his words, paying attention to what he had to say.

"Even if the outcome resulted as to what we--" He turns around, your eyes opened when he began speaking. You both made eye contact, and Gorou's smirk transformed into a full smile. Was it okay for him to fill such giddiness at the sight of your equally wounded pride and body? After all, he was the one to bring you into that state, he was the one to put you in your rightful place with just one arrow, kneeling on the dirty battlefield as the geo power incased on the arrowhead did its job in petrify you.

The glint of defeat on, dare he say, those gorgeous eyes of yours really made them stand out. Actually, as he approaches your form, he's starting to see some other appealing features he couldn't notice from a longer distance. What was the Shogun thinking, in even allowing you a spot within her number when you clearly weren't made for war?

"--Expected" his pause brought your attention to what he was actually saying. So they had all of this calculated...

"But now, all that is left to do, is tend to the wounded and take care of the dead. Yours and their sacrifice will bring an end to this stupid decree in no time. We need to prepare for tougher, real..." He gives you a glance "...battles from now on. Don't let this win get in your head"

The crowd quietly cheers between them, some of them patting each other on the shoulder for a job well done. All of that camaraderie made your stomach hollow, as you recognise the same speech you have told to your former men after a battle well fought. Those piercing blue eyes of his made you painfully aware of the consecutive part of giving a victory speech, about what is waiting for the losing side, the pit in your stomach grew in size and you really wished that it could swallow you whole before the man in front of you does.

Gorou thrills in your despair. That pretty face of yours plunging into dark dephts, your mind weaving one horrifying destiny after other speaks a lot of your character, as only those who have layed a cruel end to those before them can conceive. He knows what kind of thoughts those are, but as much of a monster as you are viewing him now, he won't do such a thing. He was quite merciful while deciding what your fate will be, even if he didn't pondered a lot in the few minutes after your fall, you are but only a child with a weapon, sent to die by that horrible woman.

And something he prides himself of, is learning from mistakes. He won't throw away something that can fulfill very well other duties than warfare ones.

"Sir! If I may--" a voice spoke between the masses of helms and spears.

"I know, I know. The general" Gorou waves off his hand, his eyes never stranding away from your form for far too long.

A groan escapes your body as his foot steps on your ribcage, not too hard but your weak body sense as if he had nails attached to the sole, your skin felt cold and as if it was being prickled by a ton of needles. He pushes your your body with a gentleness unexpected from an enemy, until you were lying on your back. The new position put pressure in the arrow wound on your right/left shoulder, your dominant arm, and for a second you were grateful of the rigidness granted by the geo element yet covering half of your arm or else you are sure you would have cried in pain, the last thing you want now is to show more weakness that what you are displaying.

"What I am going to do with her... I didn't know myself when we first begun this battle" Gorou continued. He removed his shoe from your chest to your side on the floor, so you'll be cage between his legs while he looks down on you. His arms crossed across his chest and he tilted his head to the side, as in assessing you, taking on your face just as covered in grime as his but not diminish your beauty in the slightest. He really made a good decision in regard of your fate.

The soldiers stood still, the atmosphere felt heavy like the air on a hot summer afternoon that feels stuffy on your lungs as your breath in. Their general had an unseen aura surrounding him, his usual careless actitud makes everyone forget that there's an animal side to him, although they aren't sure they will presence it for the first time, their captain is definitely switching towards that side... they even feel a little bit of pity for the woman under him.

"But as I see her like this, beaten, it makes me remember something of old, that the victorous usually sow. Can you guys guess what it is?" He squats over you, sweetly combing a couple of strands of hair out of your face.

Whispers break among the army after the question. One of them raised his hand, no barely 18 years old as he was one of the shortest in comparison to his bigger and wider shouldered comrades. The young recruit promptly lowered his arm as the general wasn't looking at their direction but that didn't stopped him from answering, eyes shining with excitement:

"They take something as a token of their victory, sir!"

Gorou hummed in affirmation. "Yes, they did. A spoil of war, if you may"

Dread washed over you. He wasn't going to kill you, as a way to demonstrate their superiority? To be taken as a trophy, a possession... He surely won't mean that, right? They are going to torture you and extract every drop of information that you have, until the last thing left in you is blood to shed on their hands as your usefulness is cut short like your troath.

You needed to say something. Anything, as long as it would arise anger within the young male, anything as long as you aren't degrade far from what you have been.

Gorou raised his eyebrows as you coughed. He wasn't expecting a monologue from you but neither silence. Your sudden wish of speaking made the men jump into action, their spears pointing at you with such terrifying speed made you realise furthermore that this battle was destined to end like this, another stripe to the tiger just like a new blow to your pride.

"Just kill me already. I won't say anything, and if given the opportunity, I will end it myself" you spat. You tried to transmit all of your pain, hate and shame in one stare, you won't go happy until you make that man see what you feel, how big your abhorrence is to his being.

All the males stare in silence, until the general himself chuckled. Your cheeks burn with rage, your teeth clenched together as you tried yo surf this flare of emotions. How dare he laugh like that! He already won and you won't speak a thing about the Shogun, why acting like that? Isn't the rebels supposed to act with nobility and fairness?

Gorou took a breath in. He's happy he didn't went for the traditional route and killed you.

"Aw, now you just proved me correct, sweetheart. I'll enjoy making you into a proper wife"

All of that just to say "Imagine being taken as Gorou's prize and he makes you his whore wife" LMAO

(Also? In the part that reader coughs? I wanted to put that Gorou spits on your lips because you looked thirsty AODJFJDC)

THIS 🙏 yes i’d love to be gorou’s housewife he should really take me in and train me to obey him . please i’d do anything for him

AND pleasee omg ... if u actually put that in i’d die on my chair it’s too hot i can’t hjnhnggrh

[daydreaming-jessi]

I hope you’re ready for a story about death. Beware, this will mention suicide and some gross things like bones cracking. Y’all said you wanted to hear it so I decided to go ahead and post it! The story of how Juno met Beetlejuice’s father and how she came to become the demon she is when we see her. It’s a mix of a fanfic with a lil comic in between because i drew it before I wrote this lmao and I wanted to include it but there wasn’t really a great way to do that. It’s a long boy, so the story’s under the cut. Hopefully it works, I don’t wanna clog anyone’s dash ^^’

Once, in a time long before cable tv was even a pipe dream much less when it was considered to be on its deathbed, there was a city where all thought it would reign endlessly. In that city there was a woman, long tormented by those above her. She felt powerless, that her fate was never in her own hands. She chased off all men that tried to marry her and control her even further, cut herself off from others that tried to subdue her. She was jeered at and made a pariah. She despised it all. She cursed the gods for bringing her to a world where she held no autonomy, she pleaded for something to change, something to give. It seemed that she would receive no aid though.

One night, she felt it was all too much. Drunk on gluttonous amounts of wine, she decided there was no hope for her. She took a knife, and one last time, despaired. “If I hold no freedom in life, then I shall seek it in the underworld, gods be damned!” And sliced her throat open. Her blood soaked the ground.

When she awoke again, she found herself not in what is described as the underworld. Instead, it was an endless void, with few shadowy wisps wandering the inky, black scape.

There the woman wandered, her wound on her throat constantly aching, forever reminding her of her deeds, though most everything else of her life was long forgotten in the void. Far did she walk, for there was no time to keep, no exhaustion or desire to hold her back, as she searched for anything. It was not until the darkness became a misty white did she take pause, wondering if any of this was worthwhile.

Then, she heard a noise. A groan, the shuffle of something large moving, and she felt that something with an endless gaze was watching her.

“Hey, that something has a name thanks! Also, you make me sound creepy, I’m just looking at the lady that’s wandered onto my turf, narrator!”

The woman startled, it had been so long since she’d heard another speak in a tongue she understood.

“Why so serious, eh? I thought this was supposed to be a funny story! Like, I know this story has a suicide in it and stuff, but man is this a downer. Ever heard of dark comedy?”

“Who’s there?” The woman asked, her voice a croak from long disuse, the air hissing out of her throat.

“What, you can’t see me yet? Are you blind or something? Oh crap, wait are you blind? This will be awkward if you’re actually blind, shit,” the voice responded.

The woman squinted her eyes, seeing a towering mass in the mist, just out of sight, sending a chill of terror down her spine. “Are you a god? A beast? Here to finish me off finally?” The woman tried to hide her fear, standing behind a mask of pride.

“Ha, God! That’s a good one. Beast is probably closer. Here, lemme just, don’t wanna scare this one off…”

The mass twisted and the sound of bones cracking and bloody flesh squelching filled the air. The woman tripped backwards hastily, watching as the creature moved inhumanly. Finally, a man stepped forward, a man much bigger than her, both physically and seeming mentally, wearing clothes the woman had never seen before, strangely tailored to his body in a way she had couldn’t quite comprehend. His hair flared out wildly, seeming to be a sort of black with green tint that seemed to be… moving. His eyes were the most startling of all, a bright luminescent green that seemed to pierce into the woman’s very soul.

“How do ya do? Been a while since one of you newly dead’s wandered all the way out here. Usually it’s just me and my two buds,” the man grinned, revealing sharp teeth that belonged more to a predator than a man.

The woman swallowed thickly. “Buds?” She asked, trying to keep her body from shaking.

“Yeah, Tunk and Harley. They’re a riot,” the man said, jutting a thumb to two boulders that seemed to suddenly appear from the mist.

The woman blinked, taken aback by this man, thing, creature’s attitude.

“Speaking of, what about you? What’s yer handle?” The man was suddenly at the woman’s side, eyes darting over her in a quick one over. The woman startled away, gasping. His skin was almost translucent, and he reeked of sulfur.

She took a deep breath, composing herself, before the question hit her. Who was she? She almost crumbled to her feet upon realizing that she had no answer.

“Ah, jeez, they sent another fainter. Here, sit on Harley, she doesn’t mind the weight,” the man helped the unnamed woman onto the bigger of the two boulders.

The man plopped onto the other one in a most undignified state, picking at his sharp teeth with fingers that, upon a second look, were not human hands. It was as if his fingertips were frostbitten, but rather than fall off, they grew claws that belonged to a bear.

“What is this place?” The woman finally asked, desperate for some sort of answer to all this madness she’d been subjected to.

“Ah, there’s that thousand dollar question. You, my friend, are the lucky new inhabitant of the netherworld! Applause may be had now,” an uproarious applause filled the air, as streamers and balloons manifested as well, though how the unnamed woman knew what these things are was uncertain. The man crossed his legs, twice. With a third leg.

“Now, you may be wondering, Netherworld? But I thought the afterlife was ‘insert belief here’, and I’m here to tell you everything you knew was wrong! There’s no god, no cycle, no anything! It’s all one big ol’ void! Welcome, to the rest of your afterlife! Drifting around nowhere forever, until you finally dissolve into that nothing. Exciting isn’t it?” The man continued.

The woman’s head spun. Nothing? No gods? No underworld? No judgement? Only a void? It sounded so... chaotic. “But, but how could there be nothing? How could there be no gods? We-we came from something how could we dissolve into nothing?” She asked.

The man shrugged, still seeming quite chipper about the whole thing. “Don’t ask me. I just live here.”

“But, but… what about you? Aren’t you going to fade away as well?” The woman asked, desperate.

“Oh I can’t. I’m technically not dead! No I’m a shoggoth, and we just... Live here. Rents cheap, restaurants are alright, and just lookit all this space! Can’t complain, I guess.”

“But, but, how can you live? Why must I die? What is the difference between you and I? Dammit! Dammit all, it’s just as unfair in death as it is life! Damn everything, damn it all to oblivion with me!” The woman stood, rage filling her empty veins. All of the suffering, it was never ending. She would never find peace.

The man, the shoggoth, watched the woman with interested eyes. A plan was forming in his mind, a plan he’d long since been thinking. “It is unfair, isn’t it? Man everyone hates it! No point to doing anything, it’s all for naught. We’re all gonna waste away. Well, you are. I won’t. I’ll just be stuck here in the boring old Netherworld. Forever. Chatting with rocks and making mist puppets.” He demonstrated this skill with a beautiful puppet recreation of Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

The woman paused in her ranting, looking over to him. “There must be a way, there must be a way to change this.”

Hiding a smirk, the shoggoth stood. “Well… there could be. Might be. Possibly be. It all depends, I guess.”

“Enough of your riddles. What is it you have schemed, I can see for myself you know a way.”

The shoggoth blinked, caught off guard by the woman’s rushing through his theatrics. He quickly shook himself back to his plan.

“Alright, smart woman I see. So, I’m a shoggoth. A powerful, unstoppable beast. I can crush cities, move mountains, do whatever I want. But I’m trapped here. No shoggoth can leave the netherworld. And newly deads? They’re powerless wimpy lil things, but. If they were to have the power of a shoggoth, well, I always thought you lil air suckers are pretty unstoppable. No way could the netherworld hold you back if you had the right tools to get outta here. So! I think, maybe we should form a deal!” He held his hand out to the woman, trying to smile charmingly, emphasis on trying.

The woman stared at him flatly, unsure. “A… deal…” she said.

“Yes’m, a deal! Just one little itty bitty deal that combines my powers with your soul, giving you the power to do as you please, and giving me the ability to finally go where I please. All we have to do is share a name, giving us a connection.”

He could see that she was hesitant. It was time to put on the charm. Humans like nicknames, right?

Power filled the air. The woman, now Juno, felt her body tear itself apart molecule by molecule, and repiece itself back together. She wasn’t sure if she screamed or if it was the sound of the world around them bending to the shoggoth’s will.

After what felt like eternity, Juno opened her eyes. Abdul looked back worriedly. Upon seeing her moving, he breathed a breath of relief. “Oh good! I thought you were like, dead squared.”

“What... is this...?” Juno brought her hand to her face. Already her thoughts were filled to the brim, she knew the ins and outs of the netherworld, how to manipulate it, to control it. Energy hummed under her skin, the sensation of her slashed throat long in the past. Slowly, she moved her hand, the mist formed into a ball before her. Slowly, a smile filled her face.

“This is having control over your own soul. Looks like we’re not powerless anymore!” Abdul grinned, reaching a hand down. Juno took it and he helped her stand up, and she slowly moved forward, marveling at the way everything looked now. She understood what it all was, what Abdul was, what she was.

“So, partner! Ready to take the world by storm?” Abdul asked. Juno turned back to him, and for a single second Abdul felt a flicker of hesitance. Something was different. For one moment, Abdul saw something in Juno’s now red eyes, and for the first time ever he felt a shadow of fear.

But then Juno smiled coolly, looking normal once more. “A demon and a shoggoth together are unstoppable. It is time to bring order to the netherworld. A system. We cannot have souls wandering around so freely. What if they found shoggoths as well? We can’t have everyone have this power, lest one starts to take it away from others for themselves. Come, Abdul. Let’s get to work.”

Abdul watched as she started off, back to where the souls came into netherworld. “Hey, narrator... is this really a happy ending? I’m not so sure. I mean, Juno seems nice and all. Just, is this really what she should have?” he muttered.

I cannot answer.

Abdul sighed, unhappy at the lack of response, and started after Juno. “Probably just overthinking. I always overthink, y’know? Who cares. Soon I’ll be able to see earth. I’ll be able to see what the humans like about life so much. Hell yeah. Yeah! Wait up Juno!” He hurried after her, leaving Tunk and Harley in the mist.

[shima-draws]

hey... ross comforting alba drabble :3c

[[Send me a fandom/ship/prompt and I’ll write a drabble for it!]]

I wrote this all in one sitting that usually doesn’t happen. The power of Albatross is just too strong for me to resist…

Apparently I’m just screwing myself over with my intended word count so I’m just. Yeah. WELL

Anyway for once I didn’t write a oneshot during Alba’s prison tutoring times, shockingly enough since that’s all I usually write for them lmao;; I took a few liberties with Alba’s research facility esp since Part 5 isn’t super clear about what he even does in there (or maybe I just missed it? Idk lol) BUT YEAH for the sake of this story. He’s still trying to get Elf and Alf back home :’)

THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THIS KIO I’VE MISSED WRITING THESE TWO IDIOTS

EDIT: This is up on Archive now too!!

——————————————————– 

“What are you doing here.”

It’s more of a statement than a question, and if Ros didn’t know any better he’d immediately jump into teasing Alba for his haggard appearance—but that ends up being the exact reason he decides not to. The hero has circles under his eyes that say he’s been awake for days. Ros hasn’t seen him like this since he was studying magic in a prison with seals sticking to his forehead.

“I came to check up on you,” he decides on saying, and frowns. “Which apparently was a good idea in hindsight because, frankly, you look like shit.”

Alba at least is coherent enough to roll his eyes. “Wow, thanks. I’m feeling better already.”

And with that he turns around and stalks off, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his fancy looking lab coat. Ros follows him at a trot.

“When’s the last time you ate something, Hero?” He asks, matching Alba stride for stride. They round a corner and Ros tries not to let his gaze linger too long on what’s going on around him—Alba’s research facility is like a maze and he always tends to get lost within it if he’s not careful. (Usually when he shows up, he shouts and calls attention to himself until Alba appears to either kick him out or invite him in with a look of fond annoyance.)

Alba sighs. “Does it matter? I’m eating.”

Ros looks him over and narrows his eyes. Alba looks…skinny. Skinnier than usual. Not his regular slightly muscled self. And pale. Frighteningly pale.

“Not enough, apparently. Do I need to start camping out here and force you to eat on a schedule?” He jokes, hoping for some kind of positive reaction.

The brunette only snorts. “Please. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“Hero,” Ros says, his tone chiding.

Alba comes to a sudden halt, looking frustrated. Ros keeps his distance by a foot or two, wary.

“Look, just—“ And he scrubs his hand through his hair in frustration. “What do you want? To bother me? I don’t have time to entertain you today, Ros. I’m busy.”

Ros would have immediately punched him for his clipped tone and his blatant attempt at brushing him off if the use of his name didn’t make him pause. Nowadays Alba usually calls him Shion—as a way to show his affection, he supposes, because Ros doesn’t really let anyone else call him that besides Crea. It’s weird hearing Alba use his other name now, so used to hearing “Shion” in a tone full of friendliness. 

Looking over him again, Alba looks exhausted. And also wired, like he’s been only surviving on coffee and whatever mana he has left to keep himself going.

Ros huffs out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. He knows what Alba’s doing, because he’s done it a million times himself. It’s pretty easy to get distracted by your goals and keep striving towards them without pausing to rest. But if Alba keeps going like this, he’s going to crash and burn eventually.

So, Ros leans over and kicks him in the shin. Hard.

Immediately, Alba leaps back, magic flaring around him. “Ow—what the fuck?!”

Huh. Alba has no filter when he’s running on maybe three hours of sleep. Ros decides to file that piece of information away for later.

“Come here,” Ros demands, grabbing his wrist. He drags him down the hall and straight to the lounge—the one place he knows how to get to in the building.

Luckily, the place is empty when they arrive. Ros gently tugs Alba over to the first couch he sees and forces him to sit on it.

Alba opens his mouth, either to protest or to complain, but Ros cuts him off.

“Listen to me. I know what you’re doing. You need to stop,” he states, looking down on the tired hero as he crosses his arms. “Elf and Alf aren’t going to suddenly up and disappear just because you’re taking a nap.”

“I know that!” Alba snaps, and then he visibly deflates, like he feels guilty for doing so. “I know that. I just…”

Ros nudges him over with his foot and then takes a seat next to him, reclining against the cushions.

“I just want to help them,” the brunette admits, softly. “I told them I would. And I feel like we’re so close to a breakthrough, to finding a way to get them home, but…”

“You’re rushing things,” Ros murmurs. He reaches up to gently tussle Alba’s hair, who releases a quiet, startled noise. “You’re cornering yourself, Hero. I know you’re dead set on fulfilling whatever promise you made to those two, but it’s not like you have an exact deadline. I’m pretty sure that if they were supposed to be erased from our timeline, they would’ve been already.”

Alba slumps, finally relaxing beneath his touch. Ros’ hand travels to stroke down his back in soothing circles.

“Getting no sleep and only eating when you need to isn’t healthy,” Ros admonishes. “And trust me, I’ve been there. You think I didn’t do everything in my power to fix what happened to Crea? I didn’t sleep for weeks.”

Alba peers up at him curiously, looking a bit more lively than he did before. “Really—? I mean—wait, no, that’s obvious, of course you didn’t. Your best friend had his body stolen right in front of you, of course you probably had trouble sleeping…”

Ros squeezes his hip and he squeaks, cheeks turning pink. The black-haired boy resists the urge to smile.

“I know you’re a masochist, but this might be taking things too far.”

“I knew you were going to say that,” Alba groans, throwing his head back.

Ros leans against his shoulder and grins like a cat. “You did? Wow. Must be our bond. You can read me so well, Hero.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Alba whines, but it’s sort of ruined when he starts laughing halfway through his sentence.

Ros runs his hand across the boy’s lower back again and chuckles. They’re sitting close enough now that their knees are almost touching. Ros’ heart floods with warmth, and he smiles.

“Don’t worry about those two. They’ll be fine. If anyone can figure out how to send them back, you can. But you don’t need to make yourself sick doing it.”

Alba nods, slowly, and avoids his gaze. His eyes are fixed firmly on the carpet, and his hands are balled in his lap. He looks almost bashful, and a bit ashamed. Ros’ arm is curled all the way around him now, his hand rubbing circles into Alba’s hip.

“Are you gonna be a good boy now and get some rest? If not I’ll have to knock you out and make you sleep.”

“Please don’t,” is the response he gets.

“Good, because if that didn’t work, I was going to call Rchi,” Ros tells him, smirking when Alba looks at him in horror. Rchi is a menace when she knows her boys are being idiots.

He finally releases him, and Alba lies down on the couch begrudgingly. He’s pouting like a child, but at least he’s finally complying.

“Get some sleep, Hero. Or I’ll be really angry.”

“Fine,” Alba sighs, closing his eyes. “See, I’m doing it now, okay? You happy?”

“Quite, actually.”

There’s a long pause, and Ros almost thinks Alba has already drifted off (which would be impressive, considering his head just hit the pillow), but Alba speaks again.

“Hey, Shion…” He mumbles. Oh. He’s gone back to using “Shion”, then. Ros tries to pretend that he’s not happy about the prospect. “Will you…stay here? Don’t go home while I’m sleeping.”

Ros’ heart skips a beat. He’s glad Alba’s eyes are closed and that he can’t read his expression.

“What, you afraid the monsters under the bed will attack you while you’re dreaming and steal your ribs? That would be a tragedy. Ribman, losing his ribs,” he jokes weakly.

“‘M not Ribman and you know it,” Alba mumbles. “And no, I just…feel safer when you’re near me. Like I can sleep easier…”

Ros covers his burning face with a hand and looks away, swallowing thickly. Jesus. This kid really is trying to kill him, isn’t he?

It takes a long while, but Ros finally answers.

“…Yeah, I’ll stay. I won’t leave your side, Alba.”

All he hears is a soft snore, and when he finally has the courage to look over again, Alba is completely passed out.

Ros exhales heavily and rubs the back of his neck. Guess he should have expected as much.

His eyes dart around the room, making sure that nobody else is around, and then he moves to crouch over Alba’s slumbering form.

“Goodnight, my Hero,” he murmurs, leaning down to gently press his lips to Alba’s forehead.

And if he holds Alba’s hand the whole time as he guards the boy who saved the world, well, that’s his little secret.

——————————————————–

We love a soft Ros who’s still trying to come to terms with his feelings uwu

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me I give myself self-indulgent requests according to this marvelous card!

Corpse Party fanfic in 2019, would’ve fucking thought I could go this far in my previous fandom obsessions? Not me, that’s for fucking sure. So, huh... Here is my tribute to the first fandom to have brought me the whump chills.

(not to mention my first whumpy shit was for Corpse Party, so you bet your sweet ass that this stupid franchise is important to me whenever I remember about it lmao. Good horrific, whumpy times from 2013.)

I’ll Be Fine, I Guess

Summary: Sometimes you just happen to get stabbed in the dark corner of a shady alley to save your crush. That's how life is, sometimes.

Fandom: Corpse Party (Everyone Lives AU (yeah)) Ships: Ayushiki (Yoshiki/Ayumi)

Wordcount: 1.3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

That was kind of… unfortunate, he’d have guessed.

Not that he didn’t expect that to happen, at all: it was kind of obvious he’d eventually find himself with God knew what in God knew where and die a painful and ridiculous death. His life had always been kind of ridiculous anyway: he’d obviously not leave the world peacefully with kids and grandkids and whatever the good and lucky people have in their life when they pass away from old age or sickness or whatever.

No, he was going to go out with style (and an end that could have featured in some shitty anime).

 Everything about the situation was awkward and ridiculous. They were in some shady back alley, there was his class rep getting assaulted by some ever shadier dude with a cutter, it smelled like piss and blood and garbage, and the guy was even dressed in black with a face mask and everything. It couldn’t get worse than that, really, in terms of clichés.

Alas, that was where they were currently standing. In a shady back alley, in the darkness, surrounded by foul odours and with blood pouring all over the place to match. The dude was unconscious on the floor, head smashed against some bin (ha, fitting), and there were tears mixing in with his blood and the rep’s DNA.

Yeah, it really wasn’t a good situation to be in, right here and there.

 “Oh my God, Kishinuma, why did you do that?!”

The class rep, Shinozaki, kept screaming in his ears as she was sitting him against a wall (more like he let her do so, her shaky little arms weren’t going to do that on their own). He’d have usually minded having someone fret over him so much to the point she was hyperventilating; but he found himself unable to make fun of that and instead decided he’d be a responsible senior for fucking once.

“Hey, Shinozaki… No need to cry, y’know… Just call an ambulance or somethin’…”

She stared at him with swollen, puffy red eyes and a bawling jaw, but only nodded in silence and pulled out her phone. Putting it right against her ear, he could tell her fingers were shaking like leaves in the winter wind, barely able to hold the thing in its place, as her voice only matched. Truly, she had never seen the horrors of the world.

She should have never had, all things considered. Shinozaki was too good for this bullshit.

 He simply listened to her telling the cops about the shithole they had found themselves in, lying his head against the wall. In itself, the wound wasn’t hurting as badly as he’d have thought: getting stabbed was like getting punched, except that he was bleeding profusely afterwards and that it was much worse to deal with. He had gotten punched before, that wasn’t a big deal. The pain only started flaring afterwards, and the blood loss was the worse experience he had ever gotten through (after getting disowned, that was).

On second thought, the situation was kind of ironic. He had had no idea why he had decided to save her from probably death (probably). He hadn’t even thought about it before jumping in some shady-ass street of the city where dealing drugs and public pissing must have been national sports. He had just… done that and he wasn’t even finding himself utterly stupid for doing such a dumb thing. Well, also all things considered, she didn’t seem to have enjoyed getting saved at all. Maybe he should have let her die.

Yeah, as if that was ever going to happen.

 Shinozaki eventually put down her phone, putting it back into her pocket, call ended. Tears still flowed from her eyes like river streams, hiccupping as she fretted again, hands flying all over the place and breathing hitching too often to his tastes.

“Hey, calm down, Pres… (He attempted a smile: everything not to make her worry). I’ll be fine… I guess… It’s not that big of a deal, just calm down…”

“How am I supposed to do that, Kishinuma?! You’re bleeding and it’s all my fault! I… I should be able to do something about it, but what?!” (There she went off again…)

“Dude, let’s not go down that road… It was that crazy’s fault, wasn’t yours…”

“But you wouldn’t be like that if I hadn’t been there!”

He wanted to sigh until the end of times.

“Look, Shinozaki, I could have not jumped in there… but I did… and it was my own decision… So stop panicking, won’t be helpful to any of us…”

She blinked for a few seconds, staying idle.

“You… You’re right…”

 Shinozaki rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform top (oh, yeah, right: that had happened soon after club activities had ended, great), trying to settle her breathing down. Good, that was one step in the right direction. Very good, considering he felt his consciousness gradually leaving him. He needed her to stay calm until help was there so she wouldn’t do something stupid and harm herself in the process. Couldn’t be that hard, right?

He had a hand on his wound, in his left flank. Not the best place to be hurt (he’d have rather taken the hit somewhere completely inoffensive like, huh… Okay, maybe there wasn’t an ideal place to be stabbed in), but not the worse either. Probably didn’t hit anything vital. If he was lucky enough, he’d survive and be able to forget this all happened after he’d have inevitably entered a comatose state. Sleep sounded just fine right now: the smell of his own blood made him nauseous, it was harder and harder to stand with time passing.

 “Just, tell me somethin’, Shinozaki… How in the fuck did you end up here…?”

She didn’t respond, at first. Instead, all she did was to look away, bow her head down, bit her lip, and only then did she answer.

“I’m… not sure. I think someone pulled me in this corner by grabbing my arm and slamming me against a wall. Then he pulled out a knife and… and…”

“O-okay, thanks, don’t panic again…”

“I-I wasn’t panicking…”

“You totally were… (He smirked with the least credibility anyone could have ever failed to deliver on). Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re fine…”

She seemed almost offended to hear him say that. Oops.

“And I’m not glad you got stabbed because of me, Kishinuma!”

“Oh spare me this crap, we just went over this already…”

 Shinozaki crossed her arms, obviously hurt to hear him say that (was he inappropriate? Was she too sensitive? Who fucking knew!), only to soon sob again and, this time, give up all hostility.

“I… just don’t want you to die on me, Kishinuma…”

“Oh, c’mon, I wouldn’t be a big loss… (Then he thought of everyone he’d leave behind today if he died at this moment: the class, Satoshi, Miki, her). I won’t die today, I promise… Just… don’t cry…”

She crossed her legs in front of her, arms wrapped against them. If he didn’t feel so weak, he’d have tried pulling her into an embrace, just to strengthen her and not feel like she could be blown away by a breeze.

“You promise…?”

“Yeah… I know it probably don’t hold much weight to you… but yeah…”

 He expected to get slapped, physically or verbally, but instead all she did was to put her hand on the one he had plastered over his wound like he was trying to repair a leak.

“I… I’ll believe you, then…”

Sirens started to echo in the distance as she looked at him in the eyes, no smile and only tears to be seen, fingers weakly clutching the back of his hand. It was unrealistic to witness, even if he was about to die would proper medical attention not be given to him soon. It was also pretty fucked up to realize he was somewhat happy to witness Shinozaki seemed to care.

 Now to see if he’d be able to keep his promise…

[chikkou]

i had a dream last night that, for whatever reason, i was in this super old building (a hotel maybe?). i was in the elevator with some weird guy, and he pressed the button for the basement, but i just like. went with it cause i wasnt going anywhere in particular i guess. once we were in the basement the guy disappeared and i just went wandering by myself, and found some room with a weird label on the door. i opened it and went inside, and it turned out there was some Secret Government Project going on in there. the project was, i shit u not, killing hitler

it was weird but i think i sort of understand how it worked. basically they had some strange type of time travel where they could affect people and events that werent fixed in the timeline (like ww2 and all the events therein). the idea was that, if we could kidnap pre-chancellor hitler and somehow incapacitate him so that he wouldnt rise to power, we could stop all the events of ww2.

for some reason, since i had stumbled across the project, it meant i HAD to participate. some of my friends were there too and probably got roped in in a similar manner. i think the main person in charge of the process was mika lmao.

anyway the method of killing him took a lot of forms. they had been at this for a few years, and they had determined that just killing him did nothing. every time they pulled a pre-chancellor hitler out of the timeline, it was only one iteration of him. essentially, they could only pull out a version of him from a VERY specific time. im talking down to the second. 

for example, we could pull a version of him from 9:01 am on february 2nd, 1920, but the 9:00 am and 9:02 am versions of him would be left alone. so while on our side, it was hours we were spending at this, in his timeline, he would maybe be blacked out/zoned out for a minute at most and when he came to, he wouldnt remember what happened. 

its entirely possible they could have just pulled every iteration of him until he was dead for good, but it wouldve taken a really long time (cause theyd have to do EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL MINUTE), and on top of that, it may not have worked either. once he became chancellor, the events of the timeline were locked, in a way, so it was possible that the universe would explain away his absence for all that time by having his body go into a coma or something similar, and then just waking him up in time to become chancellor. some stuff would likely be different, but the main stuff would remain the same. the idea for this version, then, was to convince him of the evil of his ways and then send him back to see how thatd go.

they had explained all this to me, because by the time i got there, he was already strapped into a chair knocked out. they told me that my job was to hold the man down if and when he started getting rowdy, and to give any ideas i had on how to make this plan work. they gave me some kind of weapon but i cant remember what it was. pretty soon after he came to, and he was speaking english for some reason lmao

i mainly dont remember the torture (?) scenes, except for one part that i had to hold his head straight while the mika-leader yelled at him and bashed him in the face. all i remember is one part, where hitler finally asked why we were doing this, and mika said nothing but kind of just. fed him something? i have no idea what, but his eyes flared and he looked like he was getting some really horrible flashes of a lot of things, which makes me think that mika showed him what all happened because of him. he SEEMED to understand, and he said smth like, “i get it now, i know why youre doing this, please stop me” but that didnt seem to satisfy mika, cause the torture went on past that

by the end, he was pretty much just a bloody pulp, and i think mika went too far because his body ended up going back on its own, meaning that either mika killed him or his body was so weak that he passed out into a deep unconsciousness, which would also send him back. this run of the experiment ended up being a failure, because the effort to make him understand his own wrongdoings had zero effect despite what he had said. 

i think thats why mika got angry, cause he knew thats what was coming - there was no way to make him see how despicable and evil he was. still, he told me that this was an ongoing project, and that since i was in, i was in forever. it was a yearly thing, and i think the dream actually showed me the events of the years that followed. none of them were successful. on top of that, when i finally got paid for all my work, it was only like. 4000 dollars for the year. LITERALLY dealing with time travel and i wasnt even making 10000. like..... it really mustve been the government running that shit aiudfsjads

but yeah that was a weird ass dream LMAO

[tony-montana-shit]

About Me Tag

I got tagged by @peachesandfiction to do this tag, hopefully you guys can learn more about me!

Appearance: I have posted pictures of myself before, you can see those under my get to know me tag in my description, but I’m 5′7″, I have long brown hair that’s kinda wavy, I have light green eyes, I have a crescent moon shaped scar on my forehead and my skin is like translucently pale.

Personality: I’m usually pretty reserved. I tend to stay quite in real life and let others lead the conversation. Once I feel comfortable around you though I can get pretty loud and start making more jokes. 

Ability: I don’t really know. I guess writing even though I’m not the best at it. I love writing all kinds of things, even essays(which I could get done pretty quickly). I’ve written poems, short stories, all the reactions/scenarios/drabbles on this blog, one song and a parody of The Canterbury Tales(it was a school project). I even sent in a poem for a contest once and had it published in a Young Adults poetry book. 

Hobbies: Writing and talking to you guys! Also I used to play softball growing up but I haven’t played after getting my second surgery on my arm.

Relationships: I’m pansexual and have had one boyfriend(who I met playing Overwatch lmao) and went to two school dances with female dates. I’m not one to really put myself out there so I don’t go out often and perpetually single.

Random Stuff: I don’t really have a name I go by on here but I love pet names so you can call me any pet name you want! My pronouns are she/her. My birthday is June 24th 1997, which makes me 20. I’m not currently in school but I did finish my first year of college and I plan to go back next year. I moved out of my moms house earlier this year and now live in Boston. I mentioned earlier about a sugary on my arm, I have a chronic skin condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa(I spelled that right on the first try!) I have had it for as long as I can remember but it got pretty bad during high school and I ended up needing two surgeries only right armpit. I’m doing pretty good right now though with only the occasional flare up, so don’t worry! If there’s anything else you’d like to know always feel free to send me an ask! Also i have a personal tag that you can check out if you want to see rants and very personal posts.

Love You Guys!

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 14 - “Maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time” - Owen

What the motherfucking ass shit was that. Who in their right mind would let it slip so that Ian/Devon would play an idol. And then Matt playing the idol, first of all wtf I didn't know he had an idol. But god damn that was messy. I'm shook that Maynor and I didn't get any votes in the revote, but wow that paints a target on our backs which is the last thing I want. It makes me feel great about where I'm at with the people I've been talking to and even those outside the alliance. So this is both good and bad but wow messy. Ahhhh I still don't know how to feel, but if that revote tied then maynor and i would've gone to rocks and been out since it would only be us and yeet there I go.

I feel super shitty for doing that to Corey. I don't even know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to have to use my tiebreaker yet and if it had tied I was not about to let Timmy/Maynor go home. I never wanted to turn on Corey in this game but the way this merge has turned out ugh idk. I had to make a choice and I had to choose the group of  people I feel comfortable with over the group of people I'm only tied to because of Corey. It was shitty all around. I'm sorry Corey, I know you're going to be mad at me but asdfkjhf fuck i love u :((( god im shit. okaythat was actually kind of crazy tho and I'm honestly a little happy it went down like that? two idols OUT OF HERE! and that ian idol couldve been so fucked up later on. matt's idol gone got me happy af too. I feel closer with timmy and maynor after this round and hopefully matt knows he cann trust me for not blowin up on him about his HIDDEN IDOL!!!!  madison and I got closer a little this vote too. I'm glad she was on the same page as me. It's a little awkward to deal with the aftermath of devon and ian. especially with corey or cullan coming back.... cullan I can deal with but corey not so much. thats gonna suck. i still got my idol i still got my tiebreaker and a threat is still leaving either way. but now when the pieces rearrange next vote I gotta work hard to pull them together in my favor. kjDFHSKJSF goooooooooooooooooooooooood idk. that wa swild. i said at tribal that the game was gonna blow up soon. maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time lmao

Oh... WIG guess this tribal popped the hell awf. At the time of my last confessional I had no intention of playing my idol, but things were just so tense and quiet that I knew it should be done, but boy did I not know how badly it needed to be. Now I’m more scared than ever with like 3 pissed off people and all the eyes on me for having a secret idol. Guess it’s time for everyone to stop playing quiet, easy games, and time to go the heck crazy.

Annnnnd that was the worst possible outcome from that round. I inadvertently idol'd out my closest ally. My game could potentially be over, this very well be my first ever double digit placement in the 9 orgs I have played, but if I'm going out then it's not before I do the only move I got left. I've shared all my information I have been sitting on about Owen/Kait and by extension Matt, how they are aligned with Thomas and Madison. All I can do is let the others make informed decisions on how they think this game can be played best for them. If they choose to let the power team continue to run it for them then that's their prerogative. It's all I have left. At the very least I didn't go home with an idol in my pocket and I didn't burn it without needing to use it.

So last night, I wanted to die after the votes became 0-0. Me and Timmy had a 1/3 shot of going home but we some how managed to get zero votes against us. I felt really bad about voting for Corey. He was someone i really liked and was working with but we got to different sides. Now ian has some interesting info that Owen and Kait are part of an alliance with Thomas & Madison and also had devon and corey. Idk which side they are most loyal to because they sided with us this time but they could easily flip to other side if they wanted to. I need to keep an eye on them thats for sure.  

---

What the hell, 11 idols in play!? Like this twist is crazy. I want and need to find my idol. There is no excuse. I really need it to make sure im here after tribal. Like idk care who its getting votes as long as im safe.

I have so many feelings on this immunity challenge. Mainly I'm pissed because I don't have an idol clue because I got second so technically I didn't bite Chips so he didn't get a clue for me which sucks because like people like me I guess so I'm pretty much punished for that. As a result it could be easy to vote for me since I have a disadvantage in finding my idol since I don't have the clue. I'm scared because of that since what I learned after last tribal is spicy (and i'll make another confessional about that tomorrow) so I don't even know what to do at tribal and I'm just hoping it's not me. But I didn't give Thomas his clue so hopefully that will help me since he won't know where to look either so that's an advantage for me because I have absolutely no reason to give him his clue, we don't talk. I'm not going to help someone else while subsequently actively hurting myself. At times I also want to try looking at spots for other people to try and get their idol so I know that they won't have it...but that's just a maybe.

---

I’m heated and I can’t even do much about it because of the nature of this round. Kait, Owen, and Matt think their sitting so pretty and I’m fucking sick of it. Here I thought I was doing well and hearing shit about them and now seeing it first hand is ridiculous. Owen is kind of slipping up with that trio and here’s why. Owen told me that kait and Matt found their idols, so I messaged both of them asking how their hunt is going. Kait hasn’t answered yet but Matt says “If I get up at 9am and guess every hour I’ll find it” because he’s “figured out the math”. Bitch i already know you have it and now you’re just lying to my face. Like we’re in an alliance together but I guess that doesn’t mean shit to you. I’m assuming Owen even probably has his idol and is lying to me. I feel so stuck because i can’t make a move this round due to the idols, but I’m probably going this round due to not having a fucking idol clue because of the bullshit this challenge was.

---

OH OH KAIT JUST ANSWERED “no luck lol I suck” WOWOWOW AND SHE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME FIND MINE. Fucking fake people i can’t stand them.

THIS WHOLE IDOL THING GOT ME CRACKT OUT MY MIND LMAOOOOOO HSKSHDJDJDHD FORST OF ALL!!!!!!! I hate that tommy gave immunity to chips and not Timmy. Why wouldn’t tommy pick someone more likely to give him his clue????? Ugh. SECOND OF ALL. Literally fuck madison and Maynor for giving Devon and Ian their clues. What the fuck were they actually thinking !?!?!?!? Everyone with a clue is gonna find their idol unless they’re stupid or someone else finds it first so like.... idk I genuinely don’t get it. I think Maynor just wasn’t thinking and madison was tryna be social with Devon idek. I’m mad about it and it makes me want madison outta here. Not Maynor tho bc he’s precious and I luv him. Third thing why does Devon think I’m going to believe any guess he sends me nnnnnnn like he sent me matt and Kait random coordaintes that apparently weren’t it. I replied to Devon being like ‘e9 is miss too hehe’ and then realized I shouldn’t tell him where I’m searching and panicked and sent ‘omg typo meant r9 oops!’ Hskshdjdjdh Fourth KAIT FOUND MT IDOL SHSHDHD AND THEN WOULDNT GIVE UT TO ME AND I ACCIDENTSLLTNPOSTED ABOUT IT IN THE TEIBE CHAG AND KEPT IT THERE FOR A MINUTE IM SO STUPID. Literally started crying after. I’m like I can’t velieve I did that but if only my roommate hadn’t woken me up singing I’d still be ASLEEO RN AND NOT FUCKING UP. Or if Kait had just Given ME!!!! Oh my god like I’m rlly embarrassed and if they didn’t know Kait and I were tight before they sure do now! Tommy and Timmy are the only ones without clues. It’s kinda fucked that chips didn’t get a clue for Timmy grrrr. I rlly don’t want either of them to go but if I gotta I guess it needs to be Thomas. But I can tell Kait wants thomasnto stay....

---

God I love when the dumb bitch disease flares up 

Having idol make me happy, but I’m probably gonna end up losing a number, that being either Thomas or Timmy. I can’t even figure out who I want to go out of those two and I hope maybe Ian doesn’t have his? It’s very strange trying to come down from the last vote without really having the chance to vote anyone besides who’s available.

Honestly this challenge probably could not have come at a better time, just about everyone has their idol so people feel more free to talk since we're all "safe" but if Timmy goes instead of Thomas my game could still be in trouble. The beauty of this round for me is that I planted the seeds about Owen/Kait/Madison/Thomas alliance before the challenge even began, then they played it out exactly how they would and Timmy at least took notice. Timmy has become woke, that's why I absolutely need him to stay, I can't say for sure if Chips is on the wavelength but Maynor seems to be since he shared my clue, albeit late, but he did. I could still end up tenth but if that alliance burns to the ground then I have done what I needed to in this game. I also talked things over with Mateo, we might work together down the line, we might not. At the very least I expressed why I felt we had beef at the beginning of merge and that I was willing to turn a new leaf with him. 

So this is a crazy round obviously. I really think the trio approach really helped but finding all those idols myself was crazy. Still don’t feel safe in this game for now, going to be a crazy night. 

I’m so stressed!!! Like I don’t want to go home on a twist round, that already happened in Virgin Islands, like been there done that already. I have Thomas’ idol so I know he doesn’t have it, thank god. People are saying their voting Thomas, but I have no reason to believe them bc they have been lying to me so much. I only trust maynor so if I see after the season that he was lying to me...I’m going to be hurt, like genuinely hurt for a while because he knows how much I trust him. These past 2 rounds have been taxing on my stability and I want to make a move but with the nature of this round, i can’t.

There were barely any vote talk this round. I found my idol and Im playing it on myself. Im trying to find Timmy’s we only have 2 more guesses. Thomas is the target this round which okay with me because he hasnt been talking to me all that much so dont think he’ll be a good ally moving forward. This round has been not chaptic like last round.

So this vote has a lot for me to cover. Last time, I was voted out alongside Corey. However, after a 3 1/2 hour endurance challenge, I fought my way back into the game with an idol and a legacy only the jury know about! Coming back into the game there was a challenge which chips won immunity. There was also a twist where everyone had to search the grid for their own idols where I found mine and will be immune at tonight’s vote. From what I know, Thomas does not have his idol therefore will be the person I am voting for and hopefully he goes home and I don’t get blindsided again

in a shocking turn of events...... i love tommy so much i'm so sad at the prospect of him leaving. 

Well I am very fucking pissed at the moment. Timmy wanted to keep the fucking idol clue away from me and I wasn't able to find a fucking idol. Now I am going to be going home because of it. I just got to get this off my chest, THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SHITTY! I love traditional Survivor gameplay and stuff like the warzone and the everyone gets an idol twist like Oprah gives everyone a car twist is unnecessary. Like what the fuck! I've been in several ORGs but, no offense to Alyssa, Johnny, and Monty, this has been the worse ORG I have been apart of. I was able to meet Kait, Maynor and Chloe but those were the only posituve things from this ORG aside from a few challenge ideas I got for my ORG. That is it. Peace y'all.

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 10 “The One Where This Tribal Council is a Mess” (Zakriah)

(here we go yall lmao- pippa)

All along it was always me and Aro and that's how it's gonna continue to be until we're both voted out anyways. Idk Mitch has lied to me already twice now and I don't play baseball so there's no third strike here. Ofc Willow and Allie flipped on us and ofc it's just me and Aro like it always has been. And I can't wait to get 10th.

(a while later)

These people aren't even good at lying and Willow was trying to help me literally all along and she was right there literally was nothing she coulda done about it!!! I feel awful that I ruined any trust I had with her and I feel awful for cultivating a relationship with the wrong rookie on numakira. I'm just so fucked up rn and I knew it was happening too.

(later)

She's over here apologizing to Mitchell and NOT ME for this last vote when I literally just left the alliance chat! So that OBVIOUSLY tells me she has no intention of trying to work with me again after this and that pretty much me and Aro have no shot to make it any further in this bih

(even later)

Most of what I just said was very spur of the moment and I don't even remember half of it but tbh me and mitch are on the same wavelength rn and us and aro's lives basically depend on MY MORTAL NEMESES lexi and rtp

(so much later)

Mitchell and Zakriah's guide to surviving Tumblr Survivor: Solomon Islands Merged Tribe. Step 1) Vote with Allie against LA Step 2) Form a vets alliance Step 3) Steal Willow from Allie

(later isn’t even an option anymore)

LEXI AND ALLIE ARE IRL BEST FRIENDS WHAT THE FYCK IS THIS

(3 years later)

MITCHELL IS A FUCKING DETECTIVE HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS GAME IS TOO FUCKING MUCH HOW IS LEXI SO FUCKING STACKED WITH PREMADES IN THIS GAME I THOUGHT ME/ARO/LINUS WAS BAD WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK

(everyone has died, Zak is the only one left)

NO HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY THIS IS LIKE WHEN IN A MOVIE SOMEONE FINDS OUT THAT THE PERSON THEY THOUGHT WERE INNOCENT AND LIKE THE GOOD GUY IS ACTUALLY THE DEVIL AND HAS BEEN BEHIND EVERYTHING THE WHOLE TIME AND THEIR FACE IS LIKE FLASHING EVERYWHERE THEY LOOK THAT IS L I T E R A L L Y ALLIE HOW DID WE NOT FIND THIS OUT SOONER OH MY LANTA

I just wanna say, Jacob, I voted Matt for you.

So there's literally no possible way I can win immunity - one of my two friends in the game exiled himself from the challenge and that leaves me next to be picked off from winning immunity along with Aro, LA, and maybe Allie too tbh. It's basically Allie/Lexi/Willow's comp to lose at this point and there's literally not a single thing I can do to give myself any edge to win at all. Out of nine people competing in this challenge only one person is working with me, and in a challenge that's essentially a popularity contest, 2/9 gets you nothing. I'm willing to accept the fact that Mitchell and I are completely screwed, and it's not helping that Mitchell is quite actually ostracizing himself from the rest of the people. I'm honestly praying he's hiding another idol from me at this point.

i know it's been a while since my last confessional and i don't wanna make a long one rn but allie's bitch ass

SO the plan for right now is to get the majority to split the vote between 2 of Me, Mitch and Zak. Willow is willing to flip with us so we can get ahead of the split and put 4 votes against Lexi or Johnny and get our minority asses back in this game. Not gonna lie Im having a blast being at the bottom with Zak and Mitchell even though Mitchell is kinda rude towards Willow >.> . We are basically the 3 amigos/ Witches Coven of the season but we will be successful know that!

Oh my GOD if I pull this off... If i pull off this 4-3-3 vote tomorrow night it WILL be the single best play I've ever made in a game. Like I'm honestly shaking. This is either aboutta go so horribly wrong and Willow is lying to us all or it's gonna go extremely well and I won't know until it's either me joining Jacob, Dana, and Matt on the jury or it's Johnny joining them. I have a vote negator, but my history with vote negators has not been a fun one. I would kill to have an idol, but if I make it through this vote, which would literally be the biggest miracle ever, I fully feel like I can retake control over my fate in this game. All hope may NOT be lost!!!

(a little bit later)

ooookay... So I just lost literal years of my life planning a Johnny blindside and now he's trying to take out Allie!!! Everyone is literally fucking VYING FOR OUR VOTES right when we thought it was a clear majority against us! What the fuck this game is so hilarious I don't know what the fuck to even say right now!

(yall thot huh)

Wow I can't believe we just orchestrated a 4-3-2-1 vote. Like imagine how lit it would be for the two people voted as most likely to be voted out next in the challenge were to literally take the 3-2-1 cirie patent vote and upgrade it to a fucking 4-3-2-1 vote! Im beyond shook at this like ive been spending the last three days absolutely certain I was gonna be the next voted out and now as far as I'm concerned I should only be seeing my name once or twice this round. I feel like ciera rn bc I'm making a big fucking move! Game changer Zakriah razzak!

Okay so I need to start writing more confessionals. BUT HOLY FUCK SO MUCH JUST HAPPENED. Okay so first to start off I won individual immunity, and I even had a one rope disadvantage, like how the heck did I do that! I mean it was just Touchy Subjects, but still, I never thought I was gonna be able to win a challenge lmao. Also I'm too tired to finish writing this confessional so I'm just gonna submit and write more tomorrow goodnight lmao.

If everyone's telling me the truth, which why would they, we get to make the sole decision on whether to keep around Johnny or Allie - the two people controlling the whole game. And the best part is that either one of them getting taken out is one less rookie to pick off me/mitchell/aro (and rtp and lexi but screw them), and then that plus my flare gets us at the very least a tie if we piss everyone off with this vote. But, hey, they left us in the dark last time, it's time for some revenge anyways! And then, after we finally get the upperhand again, we can avenge Dana too! I'm still out for blood rtp

(ive avoided this for days)

Mitchell is saying this tribal council is essentially a sitcom episode and if it is it would be called The One Where This Tribal Council is a Mess

(he’ll be gone soon, don’t worry)

Literally we're looking at rtp targetting johnny but voting with allie bc he doesnt think theres numbers to get out johnny and so its "supposed" to be a rudimentary vote split against me 4-3-3 a la queen daisy peacebeuponher but IN ACTUALITY what we're looking at here is johnny reneging and trying to blindside allie in some kind of mess of a 5-3-2 vote WHEN REALLY willow is "using" the three of us to get out JOHNNY in a FUCKING CRAZY ASS 4-3-2-1 vote that's gonna be something like johnny-aro-alie-me and i honestly... LOVE THIS

OKAY SO LET'S FUCKIN DIVE RIGHT INTO IT going into last tribal something was a miss bc of a certain miss willow sayin cryptic ass shit like "i'm sorry i can't stop what's about to happen" and so i knew then that we were fucked. the suspense of waiting was alleviated by allie basically saying she flipped and it wouldn't be on me; i could've guessed it would be matt since she hates matt, but i never thought she'd actually flip and do it bc i don't see how any of us would benefit from leaving a solid 6 to form a very volatile merge but WHATEVER and then i exposed allie and lexi's pregame relationship and close irl friendship and thought i'd blown myself up, particularly after wILLOW TOLD ME SHE FUCKING ALREADY KNEW INSTEAD OF TELGKIEFFREFIURHDIF TELLING ME TO CHILL, and NOBODy seemed to think that it was a big deal. combined w that, i fuckin bought my ass a trip to the cave and couldn't compete in immunity so FUCK me but  then also... good things zak guilted willow HARD about what allie made her do, which was particularly effective bc willow already felt like it was bad for her game. so while allie is saying we should vote LA, then saying johnny and RTP told her no so we can't, i'm like... we need willow rn to flip on this dumb twerking girl who is so far up these kids' ass yet MIRACULOUSLY still has willow up hers??? and zak does in fact guilt her into trying to get everyone else to split the votes so we can do something like get LA out or whatever but i'm sittin here like... alright... who gotta go? and it comes to me. johnny the frat boy, my lover and archenemy!! miss chrissa and dana send their regards bitch!! it seems to me that johnny has a certain degree of control over LA and Luca, and as long as he's in a potential rookie or nuTemoana faction could be reunited or resurrected on his behalf. i don't want that. the game gets more open with him gone. so zak laid the groundwork for willow's flip, and i get to her and convince her the flip gotta be on johnny. it's almost too good to be true. a 4-3-3 vote agaisnt mr frat boy keeping i, mitchell kalabang, still in the game w my f3 of zak and aro and now w miss willow on our side??? FUCK YES and then zak finds a flare that allows him to burn someone's vote at a tribal council, which means if willow stick w us worst-case scenario at the f9 is rocks. things are fallign into place, i'm so JFIOHWEIODFH EXCITED BC it's gonna be HUGE and it's almsot too good to be true when johnny's frat boy ass says he wants to get out allie w me, la, zak, aro, and him. ????? johnny wants to flip on her ass bc of my expose about her and bc she's controlling willow. little does he KNOW that willow already flipped against allie and on HIS ASS and that allie is no longer a threat bc people know that she and lex are friends. so now johnny thinks it'll be like 5-3-2 or something but in actuality it'll be more like 4-3-2-1 johnny-aro-allie-zak which makes me sCREAM THAT"S  SO FUDI*CVJOWDIS FUCIING EBEAUTIONFGD BEAUTIFUL AND ICONIC but THEN RTP FIWEODJFD  COMES TO ME AND ASKS TO MOASMDFUIBHWENDS make a move against johnny and i'm all ike ???D<EKODJFKLJWD iorhejdgio YOUWDFI(JF hwo are you people giving such a clear mnoritjy THISF IOWJDMFIO much POWMERUIOFMWEIOFDJ POWER and he can't get LA on board so he resigns himself to the split vote between aro and zak tellign me about it even tho it's supposed to be a secret but little does he know that i already know about it and i also know that it's a farce bc willow flipped and that it's not even happening bc JOGNY flipped and rtp targets johnny who targets allie who splits the vote betwween aro and zak w rtp bc he can't get the votes aginst johnny while aro and zak are gonna tke out johnny bc WE have the votes and i'm CRYIORJHdf cryin i really think we might actually get the 4-3-2-1 and if that fucking happens i'll literally fuvkcixghnfei shit myself on call somehow i mitchell kalabang am coming out on top?? and i like johnny legitimately to some extent and he might want to work w me, but johnny has also lied to me and has multiple other deals and alliances, and i can't work w that if he's gonna keep shit shady. zak and aro have been loyal and honest to me since day 1 so i'm ridin w them boys and i hope you use all the money you're in charge of as treasurer of the frat to drink yourself into a stupor so as to neuter the humiliation ur gonna feel at being outmaneuvered by fuckin willow. ALSDOJQSOFD speaking of shady miss allie like... first she flip, then i find out she got a #secretpairbeware, and i'm like ???? this BTIHDCIH she might wanna F3 w me and willow but AGAIN how am i gonna play w u when u say shit like "i know you said you didn't wanna do this and take out matt and i respect it so i got literally the entire rest of the tribe to do it instead and against u without telling u haha we still good tho i own you and control you" she seriously got so cocky after that and so self-righteous in defending herself about the lex thing and it's like... girl how the FUCK am i still savin ur ASS after tonight LMFAO the #obvioustension i've felt between me and LA is gone i think, we've had some rlly good chats lately and welp it's gonna suck for her when i now snake HER but whatevs!! and RTP and i are prob good now too considering he told me about his johnny plot and then about the split. considerin i'm gonna do his work for him and oust johnny he shouldn't be too mad lol ! idol searching i fucking went into a cave and my choices were octopus and moray eel and y'all had to be fuckin kiddin ME but ofc the cave fucks me up AHFUIEWHD AGAIN and no second idol for mitcherell kalabganfger but whatevs Somehow, everything has lined up to give me an unprecedented amount of power for someone who felt helplessly on the bottom after Matt, who I feel was an actual tick in this game harming me more than helping me with his poor gameplay and social skills, was voted out. I think I've played an influential role in getting this vote together and in forming a group that can now move solidly forward. I just... if this all works I'm going to cry because RTP going for Johnny going for Allie going for Aro/Zak who're going for Johnny without RTP knowing is a fucking sitcom episode. I can't fucking breathe. If the 4-3-2-1 is what actually happens tonight i might literally cry laughing on call for tribal. mitchell kalabang is not dead yet!

also biggest VILLAIN?????? how the fUIHEWDRHJIernfuier what've i done this season but been lied to and love dana i jsut... and they fucked up w what they said bout luca bc now he's pissed and i'm all like... come to papa :)

IM STILL SO WORRIED EVERYONES LYING TO ME THOOOOO

Okay so, in Touchy Subjects I tied with Johnny in the category "If you could not win the game, who would you most like to see win". And I'm very confused by this because I literally thought I wasn't a threat to win at all. Johnny I understand, he's the one controlling everyone, he's the one calling the nuTemoana shots, and so if he made it to the end he would win no doubt. But me on the other hand, I haven't exactly done much, like I've tried to make good social bonds with everyone, and been honest with everyone, but yeah other then that I'm kinda confused how I got the majority in that category. Onto another topic though. I never thought I would ever say this, but I'm actually pretty damn excited to go to tribal tonight. I have individual immunity, so basically I 100% made it to single digit placements, which is amazing!! Anyway onto the vote. It's going to go great because Johnny thinks Allie is going home, but in actuality Johnny is going home. I guess I sorta convinced Allie, Lexi, and Ryan to split the votes on Zak and Aro. So the vote should go 4-3-3, if all goes according to plan. I'm really hoping this works bc Johnny wont expect it, and it'll get the biggest threat out of this game. I really like Johnny though so I hope he won't be too mad and that we can be friends once this is all over.

[survivorsolomonislands]

Rites Of Passage Jury

Allie: Out of all of the people that have been voted out this season, you leaving was one of the saddest for me. At the beginning of this season, I had no experience with ORGs whatsoever and I was so nervous, and you really took me under your wing and made me feel welcomed! Thank you for bonding with me over kpop and being so bright and wonderful. I hope that your musical went well and that your crush ended up liking you back!

Aromal: You were my winner pick after the first 3 days of the game. You were social af and everyone at Makira 1.0 seemed to rally around you. Hope your thing with your crush is going okay :O !

Mitchell: We're all in this together and all but i'm sorry when i found out that you played my fake idol I laughed so hard i cried. It was fun getting to know you but that moment was pure joy to me. Miss u

Willow: JACOB! Holy shit, let me first start out by saying that I literally love you so much! You were one of my first ally’s over on OG Makira. I remember on night 1 I was really confused how orgs worked and you explained a lot of stuff to me, like I didn’t even know how to screenshot stuff. I remember during the paint ball challenge all of the newbies did a tribe call so that we could focus, but we ended up flopping lmao. I remember you ended up getting stressed and accidentally resting your head on the keyboard and pressing send too early! I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you during the 2nd swap, but I still love you and hope that we can be friends once this is done. 

Allie: Your submission for the music video challenge was honestly the funniest and cutest thing in the whole entire world. Thank you for always being so pleasant to talk to and I hope you thesis is/ended up going well! You going home on accident was honestly tragic, but you seem super duper crazy smart and I know that you will succeed no matter where life takes you.

Aromal: That was the craziest unluckiest most unfortunate vote out I've ever seen tbh. Mitchell loves you so you're probably a great person but yeah you definitely deserved to get further.

Mitchell: DANA MY ROCK! I miss you so much and I'm sorry I had to do you like that. WE ALMOST HAD EM!!! And I so fucking wish you were still here instead of all these FAKES!! For real, you were my closest ally and my best friend from this experience, and I really wish we could've gotten to spend more time together as the true icons of this game. But I don't miss you enough to get voted out next so ! Distance makes the heart grow fonder !

Willow: Dana, you were a really fun person to talk to, and the name Dana is cool! I remember your video for the music video challenge was so good, and the “bye bitch” sign was hilarious. You were a really awesome person overall, and it sucks that you were voted out with only 1 vote since Luca had fallen asleep and didn’t get a chance to change it. 

Allie: As soon as we got on the same tribe together, you were completely down to work with me, so thank you for being so welcoming and fun to talk to! I met you really close to finals week and it was kind of de-stressing to be able to talk to someone about mac and cheese. That being said, you were also kind of the victim of a game move of mine, so I do feel like I need to say that it was purely a game move, and not because of your personality! I’m sorry that I wasn’t always completely honest with you and I only have the best wishes for you.

Aromal: Loved allying with you for 4 rounds! I really enjoyed your dry wit and I hope you get another chance because you were a solid player.

Mitchell: Matt, at times I feel like being close with you hurt my game more than it helped, but I got nothing but love for you, kid. I hate that you got done dirty the way you did and I hope Ponderosa is treating you well. I can't wait to catch up with you when this is all done!

Willow: Matt, the first memory I have is that during the 2nd swap you felt a little on the outs but then Mitchell recommended you to me. I thought overall you were a pretty chill person, and you had good survivor opinions. I remember you were asking for advice on what tumblr url to use, and you said ciriesuschrist was one of your options, which was crazy, bc that used to be my old url for my survivor sideblog. Sometimes you could be kinda shady, but I’m sorry for lying to you about you being voted off, bc I really didn’t wanna flip. 

Y’know, being in my first main org, the competition was stiff, and I thought I was smarter than everyone else, and it was my own doing. I guess being voted biggest hero, everyone’s best friend and hands down playing the best game didn’t do me any good. At the end of the day, I can only blame myself :/

Allie: I completely mean this when I say it: I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like you. You are so funny and besides my dad, you’re also the only frat boy I’ve ever talked to lol. I really admired how hard you played, and how enthusiastic you were about the rookies vs. vets theme. I hope that you are that passionate and determined in all areas of your life! Also, thank you for being one of the first people to see me as a threat in this game – whether it was accurate or not, it was certainly flattering for me, so I really appreciate it!

Aromal: King Johnny <3 You were easily one of the best players of the season and I'm sorry we had to blindside you the way we did but if we hadn't taken you out then, you would've won :(

Mitchell: Bro, we coulda been a LEGENDARY pair in this game but I just couldn't trust you. Hope you're not too mad about all this and let's light up some time and get past all this. I really did love being on a tribe with you because we clicked so well, but I just could never tell if that clicking was gonna save me in this game or screw me, so I went to screwing you first! People can attest to how excited I was to meet you, and deadass bro, you lived up to it. Catch you soon. You really are unlike every other frat boy out there.

Willow: JOHNNY! Honestly at the start of this game based off your intro I thought you were gonna be a stereotypical annoying frat boy, but holy shit, I was so very wrong! You were honestly one of the most interesting people out here, like whenever we would talk it never got boring! I remember you were one of my first friends in this game, and I hope we can remain friends once this is all over. You were a really big threat though because everyone liked you and you were in control of the nuTemoana alliance and the “all newbie alliance”. Even though I love you it was pretty satisfying blindsiding you 4-3-2-1. 

Allie: First off, I would like to apologise for lying to you for like thirty minutes straight that one time. That wasn’t cool, but I was in panic mode and for some reason I thought that was the best solution. That being said, I think you were probably one of the biggest personalities cast in this game and I really enjoyed all the funny little things you would put in the main chats! I hope everything between you and Snapchat boy works out all romantic and such.

Aromal: WINNER OF SURVIVOR SUMBAWA WINNER OF SURVIVOR MOROCCO WINNER OF SURVIVOR RESURRECTION WINNER OF SURVIVOR IDALIA

Mitchell: The fact that you gave the flare to this straight white boy was the most touching moment of this game and I thank u for adding some... flair to my game

Willow: I know I’ve said this so many times but Zakriah is one of the coolest names! I remember after the first tribe swap, I was kinda scared of you for some reason, but then you ended up being a super awesome person. You were always really funny, and a good person to talk to. It sucks that you aren’t here right now since you were a part of the nuMakira alliance, and you were the one who originally had the flare. I’m really hoping we can be friends once this game is done. 

Allie: You get the longest message by far because you’re my favorite person in this game, and also one of my favorite people in my life. Thank you for suggesting to me that I sign up for this, because it’s honestly been so fun! We go way back to when I was a nervous wreck who couldn’t play clarinet and didn’t have any friends, and I really appreciate that you took me under your wing and talked to me about music and gossip. You turned what could have been a pretty awful experience in band into such a positive and amazing one for me, so thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin between all of the stupid, petty drama of highschool. That being said, you have been one of the best parts of college for me as well, and I’m so blessed that I’ve gotten to share so much of my life with you thus far. Even though we won’t be living together next year (a tragedy, tbh), I know I’ll see you lots and that we’ll have so many new and crazy adventures. That being said, you getting voted out was the saddest moment of this game for me, and I am really sorry things worked out the way they did. If I could go back in time and change it, I would. Sorry you got stuck with a friend who had no idea what she was doing in this game. Next time, let’s try not to have our premade exposed! You’re one of my best friends and I love you lots, see you soon! <3

Aromal: We didn't talk, like at all but you were a huge player in the season and your vote out changed the entire course of the game. 

Mitchell: Miss Lexi, I would've loved to work with you in this game bc you got a real cool job but you didn't talk to me that much and our interests never really lined up so that sucked! At least you got to go out voting for the truest icon of this game !

Willow: To be completely honest you didn’t put in a whole lot of effort to talk to me. Every once and a while I’d text you and after a while you’d just sorta stop replying, so I never got to know you very well. But I do remember competing against you in the gross food challenge, and you did so well, like I admire anyone who even attempts it bc it was so gross! 

Allie: Even though we were in this game together for quite awhile, you were one of the people I talked to the least, and I regret not getting to know you better! I admire you for being so good at the numbers challenge, and at all of the other challenges to be honest. In my opinion, you were one of the biggest comp beasts of the season. Thank you for being completely honest with me whenever we talked game, and I hope that you continue to kill it in your future endeavors like you killed it in those comps!

Aromal: Unfortunately we kinda lost contact after Ulawa, but honestly though working with you to blindside Monty was easily one of my favorite moments of the season. 

Mitchell: L.A., I was really excited to meet the icon that was you ever since the paintball challenge, and I loved connecting with you over things like Kingdom Hearts... but I also just couldn't trust you and it's unfortunate because I think we're really similar people with really similar interests. I hope everything is going well and I know you're gonna end up doing something great!

Willow: Aww LA, ily! You were also one of my first friends in this game, it was cool bc at the start neither of us really knew what was going on since neither of us had played in an org before. I enjoyed talking about video games with you, and you were a really fun person to talk to. You were always pretty good at challenges, like wow go LA! Even though we never really worked together at all after the merge I’m hoping we can be friends once this is all done. 

Allie: I know that by voting you out, you thought we were handing the season to Mitchell. But honestly, by not voting you out, I feel like we all would have handing this season to you. You were one of the last people in this season that I had the opportunity to talk to (I’m p sure we couldn’t talk until One World), and that’s a shame because you are so very nice, from how you talk to others to even your job, and that’s something I really look up to. Congrats on making it to single digits!

Aromal: The Jay Starret of the season. I definitely understand why you felt the way you did when you got voted out, but you were a huuuuuge threat too and you could've easily gone on an immunity run. Still played an awesome game though.Aromal:

Mitchell: We battled it out but at the end of the day did I want to be friends with RTP or be the last vet standing... Seriously though, you blew my game up so hard that my ass woulda been grass if not for my sea otter idol, and you're truly one of the most phenomenal people I've met in an ORG. It was an honor getting to take out the legend. We spent so much time talking about how cool it would be to vote together again but one of us was always lying. It's no lie when I say that ur a beast in this game and I'm happy i got you before it was too late. See u real soon.

Willow: RTP, you were such a nice person (even though you dragged me at your last tribal lol). But you were such a big threat, you had lots of friends on the jury, you were good in challenges, you successfully played an idol. I understand why you were frustrated at me for not taking out Mitchell, but you were just as big of a threat as he was. Anyway I really enjoyed playing this season with you, and once it’s the fall I’ll try applying to your side season series. 

Allie: If last round had gone as planned, you wouldn’t be on the jury, so firstly I just wanted to say that it sucks that you went home! I know that that couldn’t have been a very pleasant result to wake up to. Thank you for being so nice to me at the start of this game and for inviting me to play that mini game thing with you (even tho I flopped so hard adios). Also, you have a super soothing voice that sounds like it should be on candle commercials.

Aromal: I'm so sorry that the tribal went the way it did :( It was honestly our worst case scenario and I understand if you're super pissed about it. Hope you slay an all stars season here and kick ass in Idalia!

Mitchell: LOL WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

Willow: I know I’ve probably said this too many times but you were also one of my first friends in this game lol. You were one of my favorite people to talk to in this game about none game related stuff lol. You were always a really interesting person to talk to and ily a lot! I remember you were also on the newbie tribe call during the paintball challenge, and you were really unintentionally funny. I asked how Zakriah was supposed to be pronounced and you starting spelling out his name bc you didn’t realize that I was asking how to pronounce it lmao. Half the time you were really confused about what was going on in this game, but ily anyway and I hope we can be friends once this whole game is done, bc you’re a really awesome person to talk to.