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stackthedeck · 2 years ago

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do you have any thoughts or headcanons ab trans matt? he’s so special to me and i love projecting my gender conflict onto him

oooh okay here's my hot take Matt could be both a trans man or a trans woman and both options are interesting and exciting but this is all trans guy Matt and it went really long so send another ask for trans girl Matt. Also the headcanons all use he/him pronouns even before Matt comes out but that's how I think about my gender

Matt realizes he's a boy very young. It's the 90s, there aren't exactly words for what he's feeling yet, at least no words he's hearing from his catholic father or community. He's labeled as a tomboy and everyone ignores it, figures a little girl growing up with just a dad is going to be a bit butch. Matt can get away with wearing his hair short and wearing boy clothes because "well it's just easier for her dad, poor thing"

and then the accident happens and Matt's blind and people stop commenting about how he looks because you're not going to tell the blind kid they're doing gender wrong. And then his dad dies and he's in the orphanage and everything feels wrong. He's grieving his father and his senses are flooded with too much and he has to wear the catholic school uniform and grow his hair out, and he can't explain why but that feels just as terrible as the scratchy sheets and the wailing sirens at night. He's grieving every part of himself and he has no words for it

At his confirmation, Matt chooses St. Michael as his confirmation name. "The archangel is an odd choice, especially for a girl, but this is her confirmation and the poor girl has already been through so much." Matt chose Michael because something about that strength, being a warrior of God, holy and set apart called to him. But also he's already experienced so much death, why not the angel associated with it, why not strive to have the scales balanced, to find justice?

It briefly crosses Matt's mind that maybe he should be a nun. He brings the idea up to Sister Maggie who tells him in no uncertain terms that he's too angry, too passionate, he'd suffocate in a convent, and he needs to be out in the world. Matt says he likes the idea of not getting married, keeping his hair short under the veil, long robs that cover his body. Maggie says that he can't join just for the outfit and "it might not seem like it now, but one day, a girl like yourself, you're going to be a heartbreaker, just like your father." And Matt says he doesn't want to break any girls' hearts. Maggie sighs and tells him that it's fine if he likes girls, but technically he's supposed to be breaking boys' hearts. Oh well, he can do that too, but... Matt can't quite articulate why but something about the people he likes, how he likes them feels off? Like there's a piece of the puzzle of his attraction missing. spoiler alert: it's gender. He likes both and he knows he's not supposed to but for some reason, his brain has put boys off limits even though it should be the other way around. Because he's a girl, right?

Stick doesn't help with this gender confusion in the slightest. When Matt trains with Stick he's allowed to trade the school uniform for pants. Stick yanks on his ponytail one too many times during a sparing match and Matt just steals his sword and slices it off. Stick smacks him for dulling the blade, but he's proud that the kid is losing all attachments. And Matt likes that pride, that tiny scrape of affection. And that's the thing, it feels like Stick gets it, feels like his hatred for feminity could let Matt slip into masculinity. Stick doesn't call Matt by his given name, doesn't call him girl or miss, he's just kid. Stick doesn't pull his punches. The girls at school just whisper behind his back, call him a try-hard, a blind freak, a dyke. Stick just hits him. It's so much easier being not a girl. It hurts, but the pain goes away when the whispers don't. But Stick leaves because Matt is weak and emotional. Even with all the training, he's still that scared little girl he found crying in the orphanage. Being a girl always felt wrong, but now it hurts.

It's well into his teen years that Matt confesses to Father Lantom that he's probably gay and Father Lantom says that's alright even though it's the late 90s, it most certainly isn't the Catholic Church's stance, but it's Father Lantom's stance. Matt says he likes boys too, maybe he can marry a man and have kids and be a good Catholic wife. Lantom says that he thought Matt wanted to be a lawyer, no reason to give that up. But Matt also says sometimes he wants boys but like in the way he wants to be a boy, not just do the things they do, but be seen as one, look like one. He doesn't know what he looks like, but he knows that it's changing, rebelling against him, his skin itches with the way it just doesn't feel right. He doesn't have the words for it, but his body is wrong, but God doesn't make mistakes. Father Lantom says, "we are made in His image" and Matt's heart sinks. Right, to complain about how he looks, it's vanity, it's pride, it's desocrating creation. Father Lantom says, "the wonderful thing about creation is that it changes, that God gave man the ability to choose and create just like Him. You were made in God's image and likewise, you can make yourself reflect the image of God. Isn't that what we teach you, to reflect God?" Matt gets really quiet and nods. "I was thinking about maybe a new name?"

It's challenging to get the right resources, it's really not until Matt is 18 that he can even start the transition process. Father Lantom and Sister Maggie help, and the church help. New York is pretty progressive so by the time Matt's done with undergrad, he's got his name changed and all the gender change paperwork done and he's been on t for a year. He feels guilty about changing his name, it's one of the last things he has of his dad. But in the end, he chooses Matthew Micheal, a good Catholic name. He's still got a piece of his dad, he's a Murdock boy, after all, and he's got the same devil in him that his father did. He still has that money his dad left him, he got a full ride for undergrad, but now he has to choose. Gender-affirming surgery or law school? He chooses law school and hopes that his roommate in law school isn't a bigot.

his roommate isn't a bigot. Matt got paired with Foggy because they're both trans. Which would feel like discrimination on Columbia's part, but it's such a relief for both of them that they can't be mad.

Matt binds so unsafely, especially when doing Daredevil stuff. He hates his body, he's doing Daredevil to punish himself, to indulge his worst impulses. Of course, he's binding with bandages, his ribs are already fucked, might as well get flat as hell. Even though he doesn't want tits, he doesn't want top surgery because he'd have to take days, maybe even weeks off being Daredevil. But whatever, it's not like he has the money for it. Elektra comes back into his life after the second time dying and flashes her black card and is like "hey babe, I'm going to pay for anything you want to make up for all the hand nonsense." Elektra pays for his top surgery and offers a few other surgeries too and covers his Daredevil patrol while he recovers.

With the suits and the years on t and just the general confidence, Matt passes really well. He's definitely brought girls back to his place and they left thinking he's cis, just with a weird dick and a very talented mouth.

Foggy buys little pride flags for the office and puts a trans flag on all of their desks. Karen comes in and is "oh did you guys do that for me?" and they're like "what?" and she's like "oh, you guys didn't know I'm trans?" and Matt and Foggy are like "holy shit us too?" How it didn't come up for at least a solid year is a mystery and a miracle

#asks #oooh probably shouldn't put this in the daredevil tag #yikes i remember the last time i wrote a fic with trans characters that was a hellish month #fuck it #matt murdock #marvel #daredevil #trans matt murdock

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sugxrslushy · 2 years ago

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Hi maxx! Saw your pride event and would like to ask for a request of HCs with Law/Kid/Ace with a genderfluid s/o. I understand it can be a bit tough to write so if it is please don't worry about this ask.

Either way, thank you so much for this event! I know it means a lot to me and everyone else as well, so everyone stay safe and happy pride

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤💜💙💚💛🧡❤

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ a/n: these are kind of short and I do apologize!! mentally not been at my best but I'm giving it my all <3 I hope I did your ask justice. I just went with whatever came to mind haha!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ details: SFW//Law, Kid & Ace x reader//w.c: 0.7k

Trafalgar Law

Law doesn’t treat you any differently than before he even knew that you were genderfluid, he doesn’t see the point in it. You’re still you to him regardless of gender and identity and that’s why he loves you. It was the person you are that he fell in love with

You don’t need to explain it to him, he knows full well what it is which is always helpful. Coming out can be scary enough and explaining your feelings even harder, making it a relief when there was no explaining needed when you told Law

He’s read about it plenty and will use that to comfort you whenever you feel insecure about your identity, reassuring you that it’s a completely valid identity that has existed for years so he doesn’t want to hear anything about you undermining your identity or anyone else doing that

He’s very on top of using the correct pronouns, sometimes it feels like you don’t even need to tell him and he’ll still have it right. He complains plenty about how easy it is to do whenever anyone gets it wrong

However you like to express your identity you’ll get a nice compliment from him, you can catch onto the certain things that always draw compliments from him and they become some of your favorite things to help express yourself. Especially with how Law can’t seem to take his eyes off you for the whole day

Also his devil fruit is perfect for this, although a bit unsettling at first thought he can switch out any body parts of yours for what you may want

Eustass Kid

Kid has an idea what it is but doesn’t really care to know much about it. Kid couldn’t care less about gender and what defines something as a certain gender. To him none of it matters, rules aren’t something to be followed and that’s the biggest reason he became a pirate

When you first told him you got a harsh “why should I even care?” which was off putting to be honest but you finally caught on it that it wasn’t him being rude or brushing it off. Kid just meant it as in he’d see you no different than the rest of his crew even with your identity

Even though his first reaction may have made you nervous, he's incredibly respectful of you and you being genderfluid, he uses the right pronouns for you and will correct himself without second thought if he has them wrong. He’s not against putting people in their place who misgender you

He understands how certain things such as articles of clothing can help you express how you feel depending on the day, he lends you his clothes whenever you feel more masculine and will help make sure they fit you properly

His makeup skills are very helpful, when he’s getting ready and you want him to do your makeup he’ll dedicate a portion of the morning to doing so. He’s good at more masculine looks but it takes some practice to get more feminine ones down. Sometimes it feels like he has a death grip on your face while trying to do winged eyeliner but it comes out gorgeous

Portgas Ace

Similarly to everyone previous, Ace is very accepting towards your genderfluid identity. You’re still the person he fell in love with so who’s he to judge you for anything, your a pirate and want to be free so he may as well let you be free

He asks you questions a lot, it’s not necessarily because he doesn’t know much about your identity but more so because he wants to understand your perspective and how you feel. He’ll hold on to those little pieces of information to better help you when you need it

He’s a wonderful support system, he’ll affirm you and your gender whenever it seems like you need it. He’s never been one to be against handing out compliments like candy so you’ll always get one that makes you feel much better about yourself

Ace tags along whenever you go clothes shopping to give advice on the clothes you find, he’ll tell you where to find the best and most comfortable shorts and will look through dresses and give you little opinions. He likes the ones with softer material and almost ends up shopping according to his taste

If you’re ever feeling dysphoric he gives you his hat to wear. At first it was a bit odd of a gesture from Ace, not knowing how this would solve your gender related issues but it became a comforting part of him you could carry around with you. It makes you feel safe without him present to cheer you on

#one piece #one piece x reader #portgas d ace #eustass kid #trafalgar law #ace x reader #eustass kid x reader #law x reader #op pride month event

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gothra · 2 years ago

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Hey! I just got caught up on the season of The Boys and I'm curious why is Annie right for saving Hughie even when he doesn't want her help but he's wrong for doing the same? To me it feels like he's wrong because he's a man that the right often complains about but here it might actually be true I saw his twitter response to a question about it that made 0 logical sense. I also read his interview regarding Frenchie and Kimiko which pisses me off how does this man have so many bad takes?

Honestly? I don't know. I don't understand why Kripke doesn't understand how own writing. I'm confused. I've been confused this whole season. I miss season 2. I have a lot of theories about the way this season went because I've just been stewing on it for weeks, I have a lot to say (maybe grab a beverage), and if there's something that confuses you, or if there's something that you think I missed, please let me know.

I think (in part) that the reason Eric chose to shoehorn in a "toxic masculinity" retcon arc for Hughie is because he needs to cash in the Social Justice Brownie Points by making Hughie a conversation piece about toxic masculinity. Hughie doesn't need to be that. Hughie has never once exhibited any signs of "toxic masculinity", so it's upsetting that he is now. Because Eric chose to write this storyline for Hughie, I think he also chose to attempt to not only seal the "Hughie is toxic" arc, but also subvert the "boy saves girl" trope by making Annie come to Hughie's rescue. My first problem with that is 1. Hughie is not compatible with the toxic masculinity BS and 2. Annie does not save Hughie. Immediately after she says "I'm going to save Hughie, whether he wants me to or not!" she very much Doesn't Do That. Butcher (in his own fucked up way) is the only one to rescue him from taking V. All Annie does is come and pick him up. So this whole arc had: 1. a clumsy beginning, 2. a clumsy middle and 3. a clumsy end. Whoops?

Annie is right to attempt to save him, but this part of the storyline becomes very ridiculous and clownish because she doesn't actually do that, and the reason she is saving him is because Kripke wrote something for a character that didn't fit that character. Hughie is also right to want to save her. He's been right this whole time!!! Hughie is a naturally insecure person, with a lot of fear and anxiety. So why wouldn't it make sense that he wants to protect his girlfriend? The first one exploded in front of him! We're only supposed to dislike this choice because we think that the reason he's making it is "toxic masculinity". What about Hughie's natural desire to protect his loved ones? What happened to that? So, in summary- they are both right to want to protect each other. The only thing that Hughie is actually wrong about is the use of V that results in a compromise of his sense of morality (it barely does) reason Hughie is "wrong" about wanting to protect his girlfriend is because of bad writing.

Okay, part two. I was actually just talking about this with a friend on Twitter. To preface: I don't explicitly view Frenchie and Kimiko as "romantic" (at least, not in the traditional sense), but I sure as hell don't see them as "sister and brother" because they fucking aren't! I don't know what's up with Eric, but he's stepping on his own toes with this. In the same season, we've been shown Butcher's backstory, specifically his past relationship with his brother, and the way he "views Hughie as his little brother" (boo). Eric has laid this on very thick. Butcher even explicitly tells Hughie "you are the spitting image of my little brother" (another lie, Jack looks nothing like the actor playing his little brother. I have no clue what that was for, but I have a feeling it's to ward off Butchie shippers. It has not successfully warded me off). When Kripke wants you to see people as brother and sister, he is going to basically put a big neon sign up that says "brother and sister". He has not done that with Frenchie and Kimiko. No part of their narrative has been "I see you as my brother". Kimiko has shown her interest in Frenchie with little-to-no mention of her brother. I don't know why he's saying this now. I could give a theory, and you might not believe it, and that theory is he subconsciously doesn't want to put this Asian woman in a loving relationship. That thought makes me sad, because, as a non white woman, all non-white women deserve to be in loving relationships (familial or otherwise) because we already live in a world that tells us that we aren't worth it. I don't know if that's why he's gone back and said it, and I don't want to believe that's why, but maybe it is. I like the idea of Kimiko and Frenchie having a relationship that is an alternative to romance, but still maintains them as soulmates, as two people that love each other with their entirety. I'm mostly aromantic and asexual. I like the idea of Kimiko being asexual and I agree with an elevated concept of love and romance, and I agree with queerplatonic soulmates. I don't agree with whatever the hell this man is talking about.

#the boys #asks #hughie campbell #annie january #billy butcher #kimiko miyashiro #frenchie x kimiko #the boys amazon

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ridiasfangirlings · 5 years ago

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Hi Ridia-san! I had a discussion with someone who thought that yata had the tendency to get away with things in canon and didn't have any character depth whatsoever,I'm new in the fandom so I don't have all the material to make an argument,what's your opinion on this topic?(they also think that yata is not good enought for fushimi but i don't know about that)sorry for my engli

….I don't usually answer these out of order but I feel the need to defend my baby whose good name has been besmirched D: Also you’ll see this is why I only did a short answer today, this one took me all evening...long rambly meta under the cut:

To be honest I find it a bit odd to say that Yata 'gets away with things' in canon while also claiming he's not good enough for Fushimi, considering Fushimi arguably gets away with more than nearly anyone else in canon – like, I love him and he has a lot of issues that make his reasoning clear, but it doesn't make the way Fushimi acts okay and one of the unfortunate weaknesses I think in his character arc is that he's never really quite called on it or forced to examine his actions very closely, whereas I would argue that Yata is forced to face the weaknesses in his world view and comes out a better person for it. Same with the argument that Yata has no character depth, his arc is one of the more clearly articulated in the series and I would honestly wonder if someone's been actually paying attention to what's happening in the series if they think Yata has no depth and that the Yata we meet at the beginning of the series is the same as the one that ends the series.

So yeah, Yata. I've got a few more in-depth asks about him here and here that are worth looking at, but just to go over his character beat by beat and why I don't see him as 'getting away' with very much at all. He's definitely a flawed character, but so is everyone in K (as it should be, as they say there's nothing more boring than a perfect hero). The Yata we meet first in LSW is young and probably a bit overbearing for a lot of people, someone who isn't good at reading the emotions of others but who ultimately wants to be a good kid. Like at the beginning of LSW with the Yata Team we can see Yata's good and bad sides: he wants to be part of a group, he wants to go on adventures and do awesome things and maybe be a bit of a delinquent (but, notably, for all Yata wants people to think he's a tough hardcore punk Yata's not the one who was cheating on tests or bullying skinny unhealthy nerds, Yata's form of rebellion actually comes off as a bit more of an outer shell covering the actual inner core of creamy nougat).

At the same time, Yata doesn't realize at all that this isn't what his 'friends' like or what they want to do, he tries to get them to join in with him without seeming to care that they have no interest and he gets annoyed at the school being full of boring stuck up kids. Obviously this is an immature worldview but Yata's immature, he's a kid. And it's worth remembering his back story here, that Yata's a kid who doesn't feel he fits in with his own family, who felt for years that he was the only one who could protect his mom and that he just moved back to Shizume after having lived away in a place where it's pretty clearly implied that he did in fact have his own group of friends – Kamamoto, notably – and where he was popular and looked up to. Now he's in a different school in a different place and he doesn't quite manage to fit in well and it's like here he is again, the only square peg in a place full of round holes.

Even so, Yata still tries to keep strong to his own beliefs. Yata has some notable masculinity issues and I think he has this image in his head of what a 'man' should be, and that image is basically a superhero. Yata just wants to be someone who fights on the side of justice and protects everyone, to the point he takes the fall for his not-friends cheating even though he had nothing to do with it. And as Fushimi somewhat points out to him afterward, some of that may well have been rooted in Yata's own ego – wanting to be acknowledged, to be looked up to as the one who protected his friends – but I think he also sincerely wanted to do what he thought a good leader would do. Then when he sees Fushimi being bullied it's the same – Yata I think wants to be needed and to belong, and just as Fushimi feels outside his family Yata does too, like maybe if he can protect people and maybe if he has someone who needs him then Yata can finally feel like he's found a place where he fits.

Then of course he's blindsided when Fushimi doesn't show any gratitude and it makes him reexamine his own motivations, like did he really want to save Fushimi or did he just want to look good, superficially, be thanked and praised. Yata also realizes what his 'friends' think of him at this point, that they've been mocking him all this time and of course Yata gets mad – as a straightforward kid who wears his heart on his sleeve Yata doesn't get why people would talk behind his back, he wants to be told upfront. But here he's thrown the same words, that he just wanted gratitude and praise, that he made the 'Yata Team' do what he wanted and play the games he wanted, and that they thought he'd get mad if they said anything. The notable thing with Yata here though is when he thinks about it he does get depressed, he feels like a bully and that truly is the last thing he wants. Yata can be overbearing but he's not a bad kid and he's really upset by this. And remember again, we're talking someone whose behavior previously made him popular (in the Unused Tickets comic Yata mentions that at his previous birthday a lot of classmates showed up, so basically Yata went from being part of a huge friend circle to being outside of it, at the same time that he's also started feeling on the outside in his own family). And even though Yata was the one who was badmouthed behind his back, having his 'friends' repeat Fushimi's words about needing gratitude is enough to make him start to examine his own actions at least a little, trying to figure out where he went wrong.

This is the point where he meets Fushimi and everything's great for a while, they become friends and Yata gets clearly attached to this person who he thinks is so amazing. Even with the two of them more in sync at this point though it's clear that there are still things Yata doesn't understand, particularly involving Fushimi's family. He's confused when Fushimi's parents aren't home while Fushimi's sick and he knows that Niki affects Fushimi in bad ways, as he tells Aya, though at the same time he still wonders if Fushimi should visit Niki while he's in the hospital. I think it's clear that Yata knows something is wrong with Fushimi's family – he sees how Fushimi is with Niki and the Mothers short story indicates that Yata did see Niki at least a few other times and that he saw Kisa even less. He also has the whole scene at Fushimi's house when Fushimi's sick, noting how things that everyone should understand, like being taken care of when you're sick, are things that Fushimi doesn't get at all.

I can see there being some argument there that Yata should have known Fushimi was being abused and should have done something but remember, Yata's still a middle schooler at this point and besides, what would he have done? Telling his mom to call Child Services probably wouldn't have gone well, particularly considering that Kisa's super rich and that Fushimi I think wouldn't want to admit that anything's happening there, and making a fuss about it could cause Fushimi to push Yata away. With the circumstances being what they are, Yata does the only thing he can think to do: he asks Fushimi to run away with him move in with him, so that Fushimi can have a 'home.' (And speaking of the Mothers story, a note of development: when Yata meets Kisa post-ROK, he decides not to tell Fushimi and not to force on him the idea of seeing his mother again, because Yata's realized that it's up to Fushimi to bridge that gap and if Fushimi doesn't want to see Kisa he shouldn't have to.)

So a couple points about that previous paragraph, and their relationship this far: first, obviously, there's the idea that the two of them are people who feel they don't fit in anywhere who find themselves fitting in together. However, their ideas really aren't as aligned as they think, even at this point when things are going relatively well: Fushimi is happy with just Yata, Yata is happy with Fushimi but as we see eventually he clearly wants to belong to a larger group. Yata doesn't understand Fushimi's worldview, but the same is true for Fushimi, who doesn't realize that Yata doesn't think the same as he does. Also note that Fushimi at this point tends to categorize Yata's words in terms of 0 or 100 points, basically the idea that if Yata pleases Fushimi it's good but if he doesn't it's bad, and allowing no room for anything in between. Fushimi's upbringing being what it is I think that's understandable – I feel like Fushimi at this point in particular is fundamentally selfish, because he's had to be to survive, he's had to focus on himself and protect himself because no one else will. So it's easier for him to put Yata in the box of the person that pleases him, the person who's here to call Fushimi 'amazing' with shining eyes and to prop up Fushimi's own rock bottom sense of self esteem, rather than admitting that Fushimi's really the one who's clinging to Yata all this time as his only good thing, the only one who's ever cared about him. Yata, for his part, is clearly hugely protective of Fushimi and does plenty of things for Fushimi's sake that may not be the best for Yata himself – when Fushimi decides he isn't going to high school Yata does the same, even though he has way less prospects than Fushimi does.

(An aside, here: despite Fushimi's apathy towards school, he still gets good marks on exams and is noted to have some talent, while Yata is called useless by his teacher and later by Aya. Aya even says that Fushimi's 'merit' drops being near Yata. Basically Yata is being told by all corners that he's no good, he's useless, he's stupid, that even if he didn't drop out he wouldn't be able to go any further than he already has. For him, dropping out has more meaning because he won't be able to become anything with just a middle school education. Even so, Yata does it for Fushimi, because Fushimi's his best friend and because Fushimi wants to take on the world, and Yata believes in him – and Fushimi, for all his 0 or 100 points, doesn't think Yata's useless, or stupid, or without merit.)

On Yata's end, there is probably some selfish desire in his closeness with Fushimi: Yata wants to protect people and in a similar way to how Fushimi feels he must be useful somehow or else he's worthless and easy to abandon, Yata needs to have someone to protect or he feels out of place like he did in his house. Once his mother remarried to Yata it's like he lost his place entirely in a variety of ways: he can't be the one who protects his mom, he's not fully blood related to his siblings, he doesn't have a team of friends who look up to him and follow him. But with Fushimi, Yata's got someone who needs him, a guy who can't take care of himself and needs someone to make sure he eats his meals and has a decent bed to sleep in. Of course there's true affection there as well-- Fushimi is Yata's partner, he's Yata's best friend, he's the guy who Yata truly believes can take on the whole world.

And I think Yata has changed by this point too, that even though he wants to have someone to protect he's not doing this just to get gratitude or to feel better about himself. He's doing it because fundamentally Yata wants to protect people he cares about and Fushimi at this point is the number one person for him (and here's already where the cracks start forming too, because for all Yata thinks Fushimi is amazing I think he's always seen them as partners, whereas Fushimi for his own protection tried to think of Yata as beneath him, as someone who followed him, because he can't trust in Yata's sincere affection for him as friend. There has to be a reason, there has to be something he can quantify so he knows Yata won't leave).

Then Homra happens and this is where I feel like Yata gets some undue shit from fandom because I've seen a lot of people claim that 'Yata ignored Fushimi in favor of Mikoto instead, Yata stopped caring about Fushimi and only cared about Homra, Yata made Fushimi leave, etc. etc.' The thing is, I don't think the text entirely bears this out. Side Red and LSW I think make it clear that it's not that Yata ignored Fushimi, it's that the parts of both of them that the other didn't really understand were exacerbated by joining Homra. Like I said above, Fushimi was happy just with Yata (from LSW: “Why do you want me to be understood by everyone when you yourself don’t? … If YOU understand me, I would be content”) and he assumed Yata felt the same. Yata, meanwhile, has always longed to be part of a group and he assumed that Fushimi, being the lonely kid whose walls are always up, must have felt the same (LSW, again: “You don’t want to keep being misunderstood like this, do you?”). Neither one understands the other. When they join Homra, Yata thinks that it's the most amazing place and that Mikoto is the most amazing hero, and he can't understand why anyone would think otherwise. Side Red:

“I wonder if it’s the same for Saru-kun?”

In response to that unexpected question, Yata blinked once or twice.

“Eh?”

“I wonder if Saru-kun, who felt the same way as you, is also letting himself be saved by us?”

It was a question he’d never even thought of. It wasn’t something he had thought of, but he tried thinking about it and came up with a simple answer.

“I dunno, but isn’t he?”

Being beside Suoh, there wasn’t anyone who wouldn’t have their hearts moved and wouldn’t have their blood boil, Yata thought simply. Totsuka didn’t comment on Yata’s answer, just said ‘I see’, and then put on a face like he was looking somewhere distant again.

Clearly, this shows that Yata assumed that Fushimi was also being 'saved' by Homra, because he can't fathom anything else. On the one hand, here's Yata's flaws in glaring obviousness, he's so blinded by his own hero worship of Mikoto and his own needs that he doesn't realize at all what I think Totsuka is trying to hint to him here. On the other, it's not like Fushimi's doing himself any favors. In Side Red it's also noted by Yata that since he joined Homra he hasn't hung out with Fushimi as much anymore, just the two of them – but earlier in the novel when Yata and Kamamoto are watching over Honami and Anna Yata mentions that the orders were originally for himself and Fushimi, and Fushimi bailed. A mission for the two of them, where they could hang out together, and Fushimi was the one who turned away, likely because it was a Homra mission, and so on Homra's terms and not Fushimi's. But Yata doesn't know that because Fushimi never says so and Fushimi's a hard guy to understand, especially for a straightforward person like Yata. So to Yata this seems more like Fushimi blowing him off when they could have hung out than Fushimi being upset because he doesn't want Yata to look at anyone else with shining eyes, and there's really no way Yata could have known what the reason was when Fushimi won't even give him the smallest crumb of a hint.

We also know from LSW that as much as Yata loves Homra, Fushimi is still important to him even then. In LSW it's noted (emphasis mine) “The position as Homra’s vanguard he held together with Fushimi was Yata’s pride.” For Yata, it's not just that he's trusted by Homra, it's that Fushimi is there with him. Seriously, read this and tell me Yata 'stopped caring about Fushimi':

They constantly had disputes with other groups and had a brush with death on countless occasions. In this one and a half year - as long as Fushimi was at his back, Yata was never afraid. He had not even once regretted that they had thrown themselves into this world. He didn’t think that these satisfying days were lacking anything.

He could feel the heat beneath his left collarbone. As if there was a second heart, throb, power was carried through his whole body with one big beat. If Fushimi was close he could even feel the power of the mark he had in the same spot.

Yata's pride isn't just Homra, it's Fushimi. And this is where their misunderstandings continue, because Fushimi assumes, all on his own, that Yata doesn't care about him anymore, because Yata's looking at someone else with shining eyes. Yata is not obligated to be Fushimi's self esteem crutch, he's allowed to be impressed by other people (and as is clear in the interlude I quoted above, Yata still thinks Fushimi's amazing in his own way). Yata wants Fushimi to be part of Homra, to make friends, and Fushimi doesn't like that because I think he assumes that if there are other people around why would Yata ever choose Fushimi – if Fushimi's not the most amazing, if Fushimi's not the one whose plans never fail, then Fushimi has nothing to offer and why would Yata ever choose him over all these other people. And I think in a way Fushimi almost makes this his own self-fulfilling prophecy: he never tells Yata what he's feeling or what's happening with him, so it seems like Yata doesn't care because Yata doesn't know. An example: in LSW when he sees Niki's 'ghost' in the window of his old house he almost tells Yata, and Yata misunderstands thinking Fushimi's talking about something that happened at Homra. Rather than correcting him or qualifying what he meant, Fushimi sinks back into silence and takes this to mean that because Yata didn't push him – when Yata has no way of knowing what was going on – this means Yata didn't care. Yata may not be listening as hard as he could be, but Fushimi isn't speaking loud enough to be heard anyway.

The betrayal is another point between them, when Fushimi actually leaves. First, obviously, Fushimi never 'betrayed' Homra – he is fully within his rights to leave a clan he didn't feel comfortable in, and Mikoto clearly never thinks of him as a traitor. Yata doesn't see this at all, but there are different reasons for it. First – Fushimi clearly frames all this as a betrayal. He doesn't say the real reason he's leaving, he doesn't approach Yata calmly and explain himself. He mocks Homra, mocks Mikoto, mocks all the things that he knows will make Yata angry, and then he burns his tattoo. To Fushimi, Yata's anger and look of betrayal here is all for Homra, that when Yata says 'did you forget this mark is our pride,' Yata means Homra. But the passage I quoted from LSW a bit ago reveals the misunderstanding: to Yata, that mark isn't Homra's pride, it's his and Fushimi's. To Yata, the Homra tattoo in the same place as Fushimi's symbolizes their bond as partners, that second heartbeat he can feel whenever Saruhiko's near.

And Fushimi burns it in front of his eyes.

So for Yata's feelings: yes, he's angry that Fushimi dared to leave Homra and Mikoto. Yata's always had that blindness, the same one Kusanagi notes in the Shrine Visit short story is common in Homra, that everyone tends to assume it's Homra vs the world, that you're one of us or you're an enemy. That blind hero worship is enough to make him think of Fushimi as an enemy just for leaving Homra...except it's pretty clear throughout the series that Yata doesn't actually feel that way (in fact if there's one weakness in Fushimi's arc I feel it's that we get a lot of how Yata feels about Fushimi but precious little concrete moments showing how Fushimi feels about Yata). Shortly after Fushimi leaves we have Yata talking to Totsuka and Yata's angry, he's upset...but:

He regretted it. Grabbing a pillow and pressing his face into it, clenching his teeth so much he cut his own mouth, even then he couldn’t stop regretting.

“I- if he’d say he changed his mind and wants to apologize and come back, then I’m going to apologize together with him to Mikoto-san. He isn’t the type to apologize by himself so I’ll make him apologize and if Mikoto-san’d say things won’t be settled unless he beats Saruhiko up then I’ll get beat up together with him.”

No one's here to give Yata gratitude for that. Fushimi can't hear Yata saying he would be beaten up for Fushimi's sake, because he can't let Fushimi get beaten alone. But Yata still says it, because he still can't abandon Fushimi. And yes, he still doesn't understand – he still thinks of things in terms of Fushimi coming back, not that Fushimi didn't belong in the first place – but Yata doesn't really hate Fushimi either, as much as he wishes he did. Nor does Yata ever stop trying to understand – in the Cellar chapter of Memory of Red he even asks Fushimi straight out why he left Homra. And even with Fushimi still a member of S4 Yata also clearly seems about to ask Fushimi if they can be friends again at the end of chapter, even though Yata still doesn't know why Fushimi's become this way. It's Fushimi who rebuffs him, who won't take anything less than total understanding, and who can't let himself have a 'half-hearted thing' – he can't trust that he has all Yata's affection, so he'll just have all Yata's hate instead.

Jumping ahead then to S1 and after, the first thing I feel should be said on Yata's behalf for anything that happens during the season and the aftermath: Totsuka fucking died in Yata's arms. This is important, because even though the series only lightly touches on Yata's trauma he is still very clearly traumatized by it and I think that informs a lot of Yata's actions in S1. And honestly if we're going to complain about Yata getting away with things in S1 we have to extend that to all of Homra because yes, they do make what from an objective viewpoint would be some rather poor decisions – in seeking revenge, and helping Mikoto seek revenge, they're basically risking a catastrophe that could kill hundreds of thousands of people if Mikoto's Sword falls.

Now whether anyone in Homra aside from Kusanagi and Anna really understands this is debatable, personally I really don't think Yata does. He even says himself in Countdown that he never thought about what Mikoto was thinking and that he never really understood Mikoto. Yata's giving his best in this space though, even as Kamamoto notes that he hasn't been eating or sleeping well, because Yata is determined to avenge the death of a precious friend who died in his arms. That this feeling could have negative consequences isn't really his to think about and that it puts him on opposite sides from Fushimi isn't a consideration either because they're already on opposite sides (and even so, Yata does try to rein in his temper when he meets Fushimi at Ashinaka in episode 5. It's Fushimi who clearly initiates that fight and who goads Yata into it, because he still needs Misaki's eyes on him, he needs Misaki's hate, and he doesn't want to deal with a Yata who puts things like Mikoto's wishes over hating and fighting Fushimi).

Then Mikoto dies and this is another point where I think Yata gets some undeserved flack, for the way he acts in the aftermath. So keep in mind Yata has just lost two people who are very important to him (as have Kusanagi and Anna and all the others, and that's why I personally give them all some leeway in their respective reactions at this point because you can't always control grief). Yata's also lost the place he belongs – to Yata, Homra was the thing he always wished for, a space where he really fits, where he's one of the group and not that kid on the outside. Even when Fushimi is gone, Homra is Yata's rock. When Mikoto dies I think part of Yata knows that Homra's not going to be the same and that it's likely to break apart but he doesn't want to believe it, doesn't want to see his precious place crumble, and so he reacts poorly when Kusanagi says he's closing the bar down.

Obviously Yata's not considering Kusanagi's feelings in this, and he's running a little roughshod over everyone else, trying to keep the mood up by suggesting a trip to the sea even though it's clear that no one is interested. It's like he's regressed a little to the middle school kid with the Yata Team, deciding what they should do for them, but in this case it's not because he wants to be someone looked up to but more that he's trying to hold onto his past because the idea of a future without Homra scares him. Again, Yata's someone who is pretty constantly told he's an idiot and has no other prospects (and he's internalized that too, in Countdown 1 he even says right out “Because I'm stupid I fail even though I give my best”). I think even though Yata hasn't got the same level of issues that Fushimi does he's still someone who feels like maybe he can't belong anywhere – he wants to try, which Fushimi doesn't because Fushimi assumes he'll fail which I think is where their difference lies – and I think for him seeing Homra crack is like suddenly not belonging anywhere at all, like when the Yata Team told him they didn't like him, except this time there's no Fushimi there by his side (and it is notable that while Kamamoto, good guy that he is, tries to cheer Yata up and be there for him Kamamoto's also busy with his own stuff and that really leaves Yata as the only 'main' member of Homra with no partner to help him get through this. The Homra alphabet pairs have each other, Kamamoto's taking care of Anna, but Yata has no one because his 'person' left long ago).

This sends Yata into a pretty long period of depression, which we see in MK and throughout the pre-MK side materials. Obviously Yata's not the only one hurting (Anna and Kusanagi have a lot of pain too, though most of Kusanagi's is offscreen), but I don't think it's fair to fault him for being selfish in his own pain. Yata sits at the bar and stares at old videos of when everyone was happy and for him this is just the lowest point, where he feels like he has nobody who cares and no place to belong. It's indicated that Kamamoto has tried a little to keep an eye on Yata and he does try to call Yata in MK when Anna's in danger (and is ignored), but I think it's understandable that Yata would feel so down and abandoned. He says in Countdown that he hates when people leave him without explaining themselves, the scars of Fushimi's betrayal still strongly there, and I think it's understandable at this point that he feels as if he's been left by everyone.

(Though also worth noting: even though Yata was so angry at Fushimi, in the LSW novel epilogue the one thing that Yata has to cling to, that he doesn't have to regret, is that Fushimi is still alive. “That guy was alive. They would collide again endless times after this, let out anger and questions, and they could try to talk.” Yata can't speak to Totsuka or Mikoto anymore to find out what they were thinking or why they chose the paths they did, but he can still one day reach out to Fushimi and that's important to him.)

And then in MK when he hears that Anna's in trouble Yata does pull himself out of his funk and goes to help her. Even if he doesn't answer his phone for Kamamoto right away due his depression and the general lethargy brought out by it, now that he's needed, now that there's someone who needs protecting, Yata's up and ready. It isn't because he wants gratitude, it's not because he wants to be a hero, it's because Anna's in danger and he cares about her. Yata also swallows his pride and calls Fushimi for help and I think it's clear that this isn't Yata just using Fushimi when it's convenient or anything like that. Yata initially is against calling Fushimi when Kamamoto suggests it because Yata has all this resentment and anger still built up about the betrayal, but even so he knows that Kamamoto's right that Fushimi might be the only person who can help them and so he makes the call. Fushimi of course mocks him for it (I wrote a bit about the call in general here way back), probably feeling like Yata's only calling him because now Fushimi's needed, but that isn't really the case and even if it was, this is still something Fushimi broke himself.

When we get to the back half of MK I think Yata shows a lot of growth actually – even though he does rush in like an idiot, because rushing in is really all Yata knows how to do, he still doesn't completely blow off help from the Silvers, not treating this like a 'you're in Homra or you're against Homra' situation like he might once have. He also clearly tries to thank Fushimi for his help after everything's gone down, which to me shows some definite growth again on Yata's part – Fushimi is still unable to accept that gratitude, but Yata tries. And he keeps trying even into ROK, where his first non-flashback scene with Fushimi is once again Yata trying to thank Fushimi for his help and I think at this point Yata really doesn't want to treat Fushimi like an enemy anymore. Countdown 1 gives us a lot of character growth for Yata, where he really recognizes that he's never quite understood the people he loves and where he makes the decision not to make that mistake again. He wants to support Anna, so he asks her what she wants from him instead of assuming. He wants to understand Fushimi, so he tries to find a way to mend fences (and then Fushimi hits all the buttons he know will hurt in order to make Yata lose his temper again, because Fushimi is nothing if not a master of sabotaging his own happiness).

Continuing from there too, we see a lot of growth in Yata's mindset and his way of dealing with Fushimi and with other clans from this point out. Where Fushimi is clearly displeased about the alliance from the beginning, Yata seems to accept it fairly quickly and he appears to be on pretty good terms with the Silvers, treating them as Anna's friends rather than outsiders who aren't part of Homra – he's graduated from the narrow viewpoint that Kusanagi describes in the Shrine Visit story, he's willing to see people now as more than with us or against us. And even though he may not like Munakata Yata is very clearly trying to understand why Fushimi does – during the Mihashira attack we see him wondering why someone would follow a person like the Blue King and it's blindingly obvious that he's meaning Fushimi here. Yata is trying to understand, because he clearly has decided he wants to fix what's broken between him and Fushimi. Saying Yata 'gets away with a lot' or 'doesn't deserve Fushimi' seems particularly unfair to me in this context, especially seeing as Fushimi shows no real signs of trying to understand Yata at all. Fushimi's still trapped in his own little mess of issues and the closest he lets himself open up is to tell Yata to come and chase him right before the fake betrayal, which is a fairly obtuse way of putting it (and yes you could argue that Munakata understands Fushimi a bit more than Yata does, but I don’t think ‘less perceptive than Munakata Reisi’ is grounds for saying a person doesn’t ‘deserve’ someone else).

Of course for all that Yata does still come to save Fushimi, and I think his reaction to Fushimi's 'second betrayal' shows a lot of how he's grown too. First we do know from the short story 'The Eldest Son and His Mate' that Yata keeps trying to call Fushimi even though he's angry that Fushimi 'betrayed' his clan for a second time. Yata's still a bit immature here, still thinking of it as betrayal, but then when he talks to his mother and she mentions that “My son isn’t somebody who gets wrong what he should do for his best friend” Yata decides to reach out one more time, to search one more place. He's angry, but he also wants to find Fushimi, to ask him why, to understand him. Yata's not looking for Fushimi just to beat him up, he's grown from that.

And even though Yata thinks he's an idiot, even though he gets so many things wrong, in the end Yata comes to a conclusion even Fushimi couldn't manage: “To you, the Blue King was your King all along.” Yata's the one who tells Fushimi that he isn't a traitor, when prior to this Yata was always more than happy to yell that word back at him – because Fushimi wanted him to, because Fushimi wanted to paint himself in those colors. Yata has no way of knowing the real reason why Fushimi broke off their friendship the way he did – Yata doesn't know about the anthill, after all, and there's no way he could – but he tells Fushimi straight out: “Say it in a way I understand. Keep saying it until I do understand.” He's not saying that all the onus is on Fushimi to communicate in their relationship, because Yata himself always communicates everything he feels loudly. What he's saying is that Fushimi can't keep hiding all his emotions and pain and forcing them down into nothing, and then feel upset when Yata doesn't read his mind. It's like with the hallucinations in LSW, when Fushimi finally leaves Homra. He tries to tell Yata only once about anything related to them (the bit I mentioned earlier, where he sees 'Niki' in the house), and clams up as soon as he's misunderstood. Fushimi doesn't say anything and Yata knows it, and he's putting it to Fushimi plain: I want to understand, so don't stop talking until I do. Don't give up on me. Don't carry it all alone.

So basically with all this above, I find it really strange for someone to say that Yata 'gets away with things' or that he 'has no depth.' The after story with him and Fushimi also makes this clear:

'Homra might not be able to exist the way it was now. When Suoh had died Yata was the the only one who couldn’t accept that until the end. He resented his comrades for leaving the bar and labeled them as coldhearted. He had stubbornly persisted to protect Homra and the bar the way it had been when Suoh was around. Now he understood that Homra was changing its form from a ‘street gang’, also for Anna’s sake. They had to change to be able to properly deliver to the future what the now deceased had treasured. And because of that there was no guarantee that all the comrades who respected Suoh wouldn’t walk down a different path now.

When Yata had accepted that, and even though it was strange, the day where he could walk side by side with his once lost best friend had come at the end of the way he had started to move on.'

I don't think you could see that as anything but Yata acknowledging his own faults, acknowledging that he can't hold onto the past forever and that trying to do so was wrong, while also expressing a desire to move forward, and a happiness that he can do so with Fushimi back by his side. Yata worked fucking hard to get Fushimi back. He grew, he changed, he questioned his old outlook on things, he did his best to understand something that he really never would have been able to understand entirely by himself. From the Mothers short story: 'Trying to understand Fushimi based on his own assumption was not the way to go. Because he assumed this way back then, they had missed one another for so many years. Guess that guy would still need some time.'

Yata's been through some shit and he lost a friend, and he matured and worked to win that friend back. He's got plenty of depth to spare for a guy who thinks he's an idiot (yet still can make insightful comments on his own, who still does understand Fushimi a lot more than I think Fushimi himself realized despite what happened between them) and he definitely doesn't 'get away' with anything, especially when by contrast we never see Fushimi so much as apologize for his part in the betrayal (and while Fushimi has all his myriad of issues and mental and emotional struggles that make forgiveness possible, it doesn't give him carte blanche for everything he did to Yata either, that's not how a relationship works. I love Fushimi, but he owes Yata a damn apology). I think the reason the two of them do deserve each other is because they've both gone through the fire together, broken apart, and still found their way back together. They're both reaching for an understanding, even if it's hard to grasp, and there's no shame in a few missteps along the way.

#Yata Misaki #K project #Talking K #K Meta #giant meta post of doom #the second #yeah this got away from me I hope everyone enjoys it #also I should note that again I do love Fushimi and don't think that all of the things between him and Yata were 'his fault'#or that he 'doesn't deserve' Yata #basically Fushimi is an absolute disaster child who has reasons for why he is the way he is #but at the same time I don't think that should mean that Yata has to take on all the blame and heavy lifting in their relationship #honestly if someone told me they didn't think Yata had any depth I'd wonder if we watched the same series #I personally wish the end of Fushimi's arc had gotten more depth myself #but Yata gets plenty he has one of the clearer arcs out of the whole cast

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loudlytransparenttrash · 5 years ago

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This Week Within Our Colleges: Part 22

Students at George Mason University spent days protesting the hiring of Brett Kavanaugh as a visiting law professor at GMU’s Law School. Some students complained to campus leaders, telling them students’ mental health is threatened by the Kavanaugh hire, despite the Law School being located 3,500 miles away from the university. “This decision has really impacted me negatively. It is affecting my mental health knowing that an abuser will be part of our faculty.” Another female student gave similar comments to the board, “As someone who has survived sexual assault three times I do not feel comfortable with someone who has sexual assault allegations like walking on campus.” A third female student told the board, “we are fighting to eradicate sexual violence on this campus. But the hiring of Kavanaugh threatens the mental well being of all survivors on this campus.” The next day, students marched around campus chanting “kick Kavanaugh off campus” and holding “cancel Kavanaugh” signs while some stuck blue tape over their mouths.

University of Colorado Denver brought back a 2016 course, “Problematizing Whiteness: Educating for Racial Justice.” Students will learn “the plight of people of color and how white people are complicit.” The course details explains, “The study of whiteness has always sought to challenge racism, racial privilege, white supremacy, and colorblind racism. However, to overindulge in the spectacle of ‘white racial epiphanies’ overlooks the ongoing work whites must do to participate in racial justice. Beyond the feel-good of momentary White racial awareness lurk enormous concerns about how to continually examine Whiteness in order to uphold antiracism, moreover the fruition of a more racially just society.” It also, understandably, tells students that recording any of the lecture is forbidden.

A State University of New York College at Old Westbury professor wrote an article which he states it makes him happy when he sees poor white people on the street begging for food and often wonders how hard he should kick them in the head. “White people begging us for food feels like justice. It feels like Afro-Futurism after America falls. It feels like a Black Nationalist wet dream. It has the feels I rarely feel, a hunger for historical vengeance satisfied so well I rub my belly.” White people, he says, are a Rorschach test: “I see in them the history of colonization, slavery and mass incarceration that makes their begging Black people for money ironic - if not insulting. You wasted your whiteness! Why should we give to you?” The professor admits that this isn’t a “good look,” however, when he thinks about Martin Luther King Jr.’s “be thy best self” and “show compassion to those who spite you,” he retorts “go f**k another secretary Martin!”

A University of Utah student reported her business professor to campus administrators for assigning too many books written by male economists and philosophers. “Many of these figures are of great importance. But at what cost do we continue to plant the seed of sexism in the minds of individuals? But especially in a course and college that is already deemed to be a ‘boys club,’ continuing those teachings, and those teachings being delivered by a professor of his character is dangerous.” The student also took issue in her bias report about a joke the professor made about how, “while all our jobs will be taken by robots,” he will be “retired living in Tahiti surrounded by 40-45 beautiful women feeding him grapes.” The student complained, “Not only did the professor willingly and openly objectify women, but he also objectified women of color. Women of another culture.”

University of Texas at Austin freshmen were threatened to be doxed if they considered joining the Young Conservatives of Texas or Turning Point USA. “Hey #UT23! Do you wanna be famous? If you join YCT or Turning Point USA, you just might be. Your name and more could end up on an article like one of these,” the tweet said, linking to previous doxing posts of conservative students at the school. “So be sure to make smart choices at #UTOrientation.” They went on to encourage other students, “if you begin to spot the young racists trying to join YCT or TPUSA, send us a tip so we can keep our reports up to date.” The anarchist student network have already released extensive personal information of pro-Brett Kavanaugh demonstrators at UT Austin, including their names, photos and contact information. It went so far as to post some of the phone numbers of the employers of students and urged them to be fired.

Webster University offered its white faculty and staff a chance to “witness their whiteness” in a program that seeks to eliminate racism. According to the event description, Witnessing Whiteness is about “white people voluntarily coming together to do work around racism in a supportive, non-threatening setting.” It’s also about “learning to speak about race and racism, exploring white privilege, and practicing allying with sisters and brothers of color.” White attendees also were taught how to commit to positive change in their lives, workplace and region and understand and practice interrupting racism and developing skills to act as agents of change.

University of North Georgia hosted several "safe zone trainings" to make the school a “safer, more inclusive environment for members of the LGBTQ+ community.” Students were given handouts which featured a ‘gender unicorn’ cartoon and encouraged attendees to use “LGBTQ-Inclusive Language” by giving them a list of “Dos and Don'ts.” They asked students to not use words such as “mailman” and “ladies and gentlemen” or phrases such as “both genders” and “opposite sexes,” instead suggesting that they use “all genders.” Attendees were also shown a YouTube video from Franchesca Ramsey called “5 Tips For Being An Ally,” which instructed them to understand their privilege.

Middlebury College were forced to soothe upset and angry students after Polish conservative scholar and politician Ryszard Legutko was invited to speak on campus about totalitarian temptations within liberal democracies. Ironically, the school canceled the lecture just hours beforehand after some students complained, then later held a reflection meeting with the student protestors, where administrators told them, “I hear you, and you should be outraged, and we should acknowledge that and apologize, because that’s the least we can do right now, because we can’t make it right in the moment. But in the future we will do everything we can to make it right.” As the safe space meeting was going on, unbeknown to the protesters, a political science professor allowed Legutko to be ushered into his classroom and address students in secrecy.

At University of Texas at Austin, a pro-life speaker’s event was disrupted after someone set off a smoke bomb, triggering the building’s fire alarm and forcing attendees to be evacuated. The event went forward in another building.

A Canadian University of New Brunswick professor said he is in favor of taking a variety of actions against “white supremacists” who speak on campus, including publicly shaming them, firing them from their jobs and driving them from restaurants. What’s concerning about this is the professor’s definition of white supremacists. He said the "Make America Great Again" hats will carry the same shame as the uniforms worn by the Ku Klux Klan. “Every time I watch a documentary about the civil rights movement and all the hateful violence they faced, I wonder what the white people who were doing those horrible things were thinking... We are living in an era with Donald Trump and the Republican Party and the right-wing movement in America where things of similar gravity are happening. The entire sentiment of 'Make America Great Again' implies that there was a time when America was great and it's not any longer... America for Trump and his supporters is no longer great because black people have too many rights or there are too many women in the workplace."

A City University of New York professor was interviewed on radio where she stated the “ideology of racialized terrorism” is the responsibility of every white person in the United States. She criticized America for building "mental health hospital beds for white home-grown terrorists, but concentration camps and high-level security prisons for Black, and Black and Brown immigrants.” She goes on to wonder why we pay tribute every September 11 to “the pillars of American capitalism,” but never to “the young Black and Brown” victims. She also claims she's suffered in capitalist America after being designated a “other, non-white" on her arrival into the country and "white America has damned this democracy into the hands of white terrorists.”

A University of Arizona student live-streamed herself on Facebook harassing two Border Patrol agents who were giving a lecture to Criminal Justice students. The female student stood near the door of the room, zooming in on the officers repeatedly while calling them murderers and saying they were an extension of the KKK on campus. “They allow murderers to be on campus where I pay to be here. Murderers!” In the second part of the video, the student follows the Border Patrol agents to their vehicle, repeating the phrase “Murder Patrol!” and also yelling at them in Spanish. At the end of the video, she films a protest apparently against the appearance of the officers. The student also launched into a rant about the “white woman” who attempted to talk to her.

Gonzaga University’s Women and Gender Studies and Native American Studies departments hosted a screening and discussion about Disney’s film, Moana, titled, "Is Moana about rape?" According to the flyer, the professor behind the lesson discussed how Western patriarchy and masculinity attack “the feminine,” indigenous cultures, and the environment and nature. “Layne will ultimately also suggest that the film is Neocolonialist. It excuses Western culture from oppressing women, degrading the environment and erasing/murdering indigenous people,” the flyer says. It also came with a trigger warning, stating that racism, sexual assault, genocide and colonialism will be addressed.

Tufts University decided to remove a historical mural after students complained that the paintings depicting only white people eroded the school’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. The Alumnae Lounge mural, which depicts “the great names of men” of the school’s history, does not include “a single image of a person of color" which has lead students to complain that “they don’t want to receive awards in Alumnae Lounge because they feel excluded.” Tufts Senior Vice President said. “We want to attract a diversity of people to the university. But no less important, when they arrive, we want them to feel they belong here.” Tufts Africana Center Director applauded the decision, saying “the murals create an unwelcoming space for current students of color.”

Also at Gozaga University, an assistant professor wrote an op-ed where he blasted one of his white law students and accused him of deliberate “racial antagonism” because the student wore a MAGA hat to class. Without naming the student, the assistant professor wrote, “From my perspective as a black man living in the increasingly polarized political climate that is America, MAGA is an undeniable symbol of white supremacy and hatred toward certain nonwhite groups. I was unsure whether the student was directing a hateful message toward me or if he merely lacked decorum and was oblivious to how his hat might be interpreted by his black law professor. I presumed it was the former. As the student sat there directly in front of me, his shiny red MAGA hat was like a siren spewing derogatory racial obscenities at me for the duration of the one hour and fifteen-minute class. As my blood boiled inwardly, I jokingly told the student, ‘I like your hat.’ Without missing a beat, the student mockingly grinned from ear to ear and said, ‘Thank you.’” The professor concluded by arguing that “‘making America great again’ suggests a return to the days when women and people of color were denied access to these very institutions.”

A George Mason University assistant professor took to Twitter to ask white parents across America: “Why are you producing so many young white male terrorists?” “What is going on in your households? How involved are you with your sons? Are you missing signs their racism is filtering out of commonplace household racism into ‘I want to murder strangers’ racism?” She followed up with a reply to the white parents declaring their devotion to making sure their child isn’t a white terrorist, “I appreciate the testimonials of white parents doing the work of raising anti racist children. You give me a bit of hope.”

The University of Michigan revamped its already transgender-friendly student health plan to include more services on top of sex-change operations. The school already covers mastectomies, genital surgeries, hormone therapy and counseling for transgender students. These plans now also accommodate “facial feminization surgeries,” as well as facial hair removal and “Adam’s apple reduction.” Another addition is “fertility preservation” for transgender students whose transition efforts result in infertility.

A Massachusetts school superintendent told a community audience that white people in our “systematically corrupt system that oppresses black individuals” need to “rewire their brains” in order to overcome their biases. The Pittsfield Public Schools chief (who is white) also blasted Trump, blaming the president's “daily hate” for the rise in racism and hatred on a national level. The event was planned to announce the implementation of African American history courses in local high schools. The course will delve into African American oppression and plans on stopping the normalization of seeing “black people being beaten on TV.” A teacher who worked on the curricula design at the schools said her eyes had been opened after participating in implicit bias training and reading the book "Waking Up White."

Hofstra University students protested a statue of Thomas Jefferson at an annual event, titled “Jefferson Has Gotta Go!” which was co-organized by local Planned Parenthood staff. For the past few years, students have defaced the statue with “DECOLONIZE” and “Black Lives Matter” in an attempt to pressure the university president to join the long list of schools removing or covering up “traumatizing” statues and artwork. So far, the statue remains.

An academic conference in Toronto focused on “Critical Becky Studies,” with multiple professors and faculty from American universities participating. “This session aims to characterize ‘Becky,’ a term specific to white women who engage whiteness, often in gendered ways,” the session description states. “Explorations of Becky and implications of educational practice from a variety of perspectives and contexts will illuminate the dynamics of power, privilege, and oppression tied to the gendered and raced mechanisms of whiteness enacted by Becky,” says the session description. Another paper discussed in the panel was titled “Border Becky: Exploring White Women's Emotionality, Ignorance, and Investment in Whiteness.” According to the description, the paper focuses on white women who must undergo a battle in order to extract themselves “from the white supremacist alliance.”

At University of South Dakota, a planned ‘Hawaiian Day’ themed event had to be changed to ‘Beach Day,’ due to a cultural appropriation complaint from a single student. The student group planning the party were told to make the name change and to ban handing out leis as it violates the school's policy on inclusiveness. The group posted, “It was determined that these (leis) are culturally insensitive by the administration after doing research based off of the essay written by the initial complainant.”

Williams College student activists demanded the Board of Trustees "commit to a complete process of reparation and reconciliation to indigenous peoples." The open letter states, “Many junior faculty of color are considering medical leave due to the unmitigating stress of living in an unsupportive and callous environment and to avoid the emotional detriment of existing here.” The students then demanded a “complete process of reparation and reconciliation” to the indigenous peoples, “approve a request of $34,000 as well as the increase of $15,000 additional funding for incoming Minority Coalition groups.” ”Offer free weekend shuttles for faculty and staff" and provide separate housing for black and queer students, as well as for all other marginalized groups. Lastly, “hire more therapists, especially trans and racial minority therapists.”

Dominican University in California has added a new major, wholly focused on social justice. The school created the major after a “growing number” of students became interested in social justice “careers,” according to the university news release. Students who major in social justice will have the chance to “examine the links between well-being, social justice, and diverse worldviews.” Additionally, students will “analyze social injustices and work toward positive social change.”

The State University of New York-Plattsburgh offered students the chance to de-stress with therapy donkeys during their Wellness Fair.

#college

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whetstonefires · 5 years ago

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Hey so random ask but, I see a lot of people calling Tim drake sexist, I personally don't think he is but what are your thoughts on that.

Oof. Okay.

Technically I can’t just say he’s not, because as the product of a sexist society he, like any other dude and to a lesser extent any person, has got some passive sexist attitudes baked in there.

It tends to surface in things like, when he went on that first big solo adventure when the Robin comic launched, that started in Paris? And he wound up hunting King Snake with Lady Shiva and this one rogue federal agent, a black man, and he got very decisive. Shiva says something cutting about white men, and she has a point, in that if either of his adult companions of the moment were also white men Tim would probably have been somewhat more conscious of the fact that he was thirteen.

That unconscious prioritization that DC’s sexist narrative tends to favor? That is sexism, and also racism, and it’s valuable to draw attention to it, though not, I feel, to blame it all on Tim because quite often he hasn’t actually done anything, the universe around him has just colluded to make him look good.

(Of course this doesn’t happen much anymore, but back when he was the Main Character it did. Comics is a sexist community in a sexist culture, so of course Tim got some of that muck on him.)

But most of the accusations you see going around are about tearing him down on Steph’s behalf, and that’s...murkier.

Because honestly Tim is less sexist than most of the men in his profession. Significantly less so than Bruce or Dick. I literally cannot imagine Tim talking about a loved one the way Dick used to talk about Kori, or a new acquaintance the way Dick did a lot of the one-episode women from his ‘90s Nightwing solo series. He wasn’t bad to them exactly, he was honestly very normal and probably above average, but the incredible, controlling arrogance and casual sexualization is still hard to get through, sometimes. Almost more so for how much more it comes out when he’s talking behind their backs. And Bruce...well, Bruce and gender is an entire deal I’m not going to try to unpack here.

And I cannot see Tim ever using ‘girl’ as an insult, the way Damian does.

Tim’s interactions with the ladies on Young Justice, for example, tended to be a lot less emphatically gendered than Dick’s interactions with the ladies of the Teen Titans, or even Bruce’s in the Justice League, though there are fewer women there and less casual interaction.

And to a considerable extent this was because the passage of ten years had modernized writing norms, and to a considerable extent this was because his demographic was younger than the Titans and therefore less sexualization was expected of the writers. Young Justice built on some stuff Marvel had been doing with young teams and broke some ground that Marvel has built on even further lately. (Seriously what is with Marvel’s young team books lately they’re incredible.) But there was also that Tim as an individual cares less about gender than most of his family.

(In some ways Jason may care even less, but he also leans really hard into performative masculinity and thought flirting was a reasonable way to interact with older women as a teenager, and he’s been being written by Scott Lobdell for ten years even if I have a hard time thinking of that as canon, so his data is mixed.)

Or take the case of this young freedom fighter (/terrorist) who happens to wear Robin colors, who Tim meets at one point in Europe. Dava. The story creates situations where Tim gets a weird mind-altering stimulant transferred orally to him by Dava, and then from him to Shiva when he’s giving her CPR, and Tim rather notably doesn’t have a single narration box or speech bubble that treats these as ‘kisses’ that he has somehow benefited from obtaining.

Later he crawl-drags Dava’s knocked-out-by-Shiva body out of the middle of the bloodbath Shiva is now staging, because he’s in no state to do anything to stop it, which he hates, and while this is certainly the comic arranging things to put Dava in a damsel status relative to Tim, Tim does not at any point frame it that way.

He is really good about not disrespecting Dava, honestly. It’s an interesting storyline partly for that reason, though it’s not the only time it comes up.

Tim was constantly meeting Troubled Young Women who could kick his ass and whom he respected considerably in most senses, but whom he was able to convince that their particular approach to violence was somehow flawed and needed to be re-thought. Thereby allowing there to be Strong Female Characters but keep the balance of the world in order and not worry the readership, by placing the male lead in a subtle power position even if he had gotten his ass kicked.

It was like. An entire genre. Tied to the way Shiva kept popping in as Incredibly Terrifying Supporting Cast.

This was a major way DC was using female characters in and immediately after the 90s and tbh in some ways it was more progressive than what they tend to do now, even as certain parts of the framing set my teeth on edge.

(Compare ‘Tim on drugs manages to hit Shiva hard enough to take her down because she didn’t expect lethal force from him so he has to do CPR’ to the more recent Red Robin story where we spend a couple of pages with him laying out to her face how she came to town to fulfill a contract on him but he brilliantly out-thought her and she ate the drugged chocolates he sent her so He Wins. Bleh.)

Steph stands out for hanging around instead of being a one-off appearance, and for not really rethinking her life in response to Tim much at all, while also not being a villain.

The crux of the issue is, Tim slid into talking down to Steph on a semi-regular basis, especially when trying to get her to stop vigilante-ing, which he’s getting backlash for some twenty-odd years later, mostly by people blaming him for her narrative deprioritization because it’s more satisfying than blaming DC.

And a major form this takes is declaring him generally sexist.

And the thing is, I’m sure his unconscious view of himself as more competent to make judgment calls because Main Character Demographic did play into the way he approached those conversations! I have never met a dude with any self-confidence whatsoever for whom that wasn’t a factor. Sexism, like racism, is the air we breathe, you have to actively extricate yourself from it and even then it will crop up at odd moments.

Classism played into it, too--especially once he knew she was a C-list villain’s daughter; there was that sense that often crops up in Batman properties that not only does greater access to resources make it safer and less self-destructive for the moneyed class to go vigilante-ing, noblesse oblige means it’s also somehow more just. The old ‘the outsider has a more objective approach’ canard. This was even more subtextual than the gender stuff, but I’m sure it was there.

Intellectual elitism is sort of a subset of both that and gender issues--Tim knows he’s smart, it’s the core of his pride, and Steph is not as smart in the same ways and has not had the same educational opportunites, and there are definitely moments of high-handedness tied to this.

And then there was the territorial aspect; it was official Bat policy to discourage all other Gotham vigilantes, usually in a much more absolute and commanding way than Tim ever tried, not to take them in and train them.

That might have been an option for Bruce if he’d wanted to, but it wasn’t really on the table for Tim unless he wanted to stage an intense campaign to totally disrupt his own life in order to bring this person who introduced herself by hitting him in the face with a brick after he mistook her for a villain into private Bat training and spaces. They’d known each other for a while and been having this argument in various forms most of that time, before they ever dated.

Please also remember that the last time Tim wanted to take a troubled blond under his and Bruce’s wings and show them the ropes and make sure they could do this safely as part of a personal healing process that would help everyone, that person took less than a week after starting to show signs of instability to have a complete psychotic break, beat him into the ground, build a brick wall in the Batcave to keep him out, lock down the computers, and start killing criminals with the knife-hands he added to the Batsuit, while failing to prioritize civilian safety.

This was not that long before Steph’s debut. If I were Tim I would not trust myself to sponsor further new team members either!

All of these things besides the Azrael trauma are directly from Bruce, who is often way more emphatic and more of an ass about them. Robin was mirroring Batman (consider the way he talks to Selina sometimes egad, sometimes it only doesn’t look awful because she’s playing along) and following Bat-policy; it is totally nonsensical to hold Tim accountable for this and not Bruce.

It’s also important to note that Tim wasn’t significantly less condescending to Anarky or the General, who were white guys around his age with roughly his class background whom he was trying to talk out of villainy, and honestly Lonnie’s motives were baller. (The original Anarky was a hacktivist based on a design somebody drew up for the third Robin, but Tim got made instead.) Tim’s entire character design back to his first appearance holds that when he’s trying to talk someone into something he tends to fall into a lecturing approach.

This can be very annoying! The first time he did it to Nightwing he got grabbed and shaken and snarled at. And of course it’s worse when he’s talking down a demographic slope, rather than up one.

I am very aware of how fucking annoying it is when guys do this, even if it is their normal mode of interaction. I have come very near to punching faces over it, when it’s really bad.

Tim doesn’t usually approach that line, but the problem is his writers didn’t seem to know the line was there, so if you’re reading some of his interactions with Steph from the perspective of having that chip on your shoulder already, especially if you’re not immersed in the narrative’s assumption that he is The Main Character, especially now that language norms have shifted slightly so wording that was considered neutral in the 90s is now obnoxious, it can ironically make a deeper impression than the much more blatant and decided sexism going on all around him.

So that’s my take on the situation. Tim has some mild passive gender prejudice which he has never taken enough notice of to seriously compensate for, made more visible by being in a deeply sexist world and by being kind of an annoying person sometimes, and this has been blown wildly out of proportion by people who feel that he and Steph are in competition to be The One Who Was Not An Asshole in that relationship.

This is not a winnable competition. They were both assholes sometimes, and even if you could prove Tim was a terrible boyfriend/person it wouldn’t validate all of Steph’s behavior--she was often forced to behave very badly or stupidly, because back then one of her major narrative functions was as a stick for the writers to hit Tim with.

And the thing is. If you’re going to exculpate Steph of awful behavior because it was ‘just’ the writers being sexist, let alone let Dick off the hook on similar grounds, I think it’s really unfair and messed up to then turn around and hold Tim-the-individual accountable for sexism that mostly wasn’t even situated in him so much as baked into the narrative, though to his benefit.

Like. When sexism (or other -ism) benefits people in real life it can be useful to draw their attention to their systemic advantages if they seem not to get it, but drawing Tim’s attention to his narrative prioritization would be extraordinarily meta (lol somebody write that fic). And in neither situation is it productive or fair (though I do know it is so so tempting) to treat the very existence of someone’s privilege as an offense they have personally committed.

They literally cannot help that. That’s how systemic works.

#tim drake #sexism #comics #robin #batfam #ask #i have spent a ridiculous amount of time on this ask yikes #posting as-is without further revision #hoc est meum #calypsosposts

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nightowlfandom · 6 years ago

Text

Requested: Jungkook (The Bad Boy AU)

ALRIGHTY, LET'S DO THIS SHIT!

Requests from the prompt list RIGHT HERE .Also I should say that you don't HAVE to follow the exact list of prompts if you don't want to, it's just there to stir some ideas :)

10- "Could we go four seconds without you being annoying?"

18- "Only make that face in front of me..

20- "I'm bored. Wanna Fuck?"

48- "You deserve someone who cares about you."

I'm not sure how I did on this buuutt yeh. Hope I did your request justice! It'll take a while before we get to the good stuff as usual with me. I'm really bad with bad boy AUs.......

"Hey!!" you snapped as your favorite book fell to the floor. How dare this all black clad, bear mouth mask wearing, punk insult poetry like that. "You almost rammed me into the doors!"

It wasn't like you didn't blend in, like come on you were literally the only (insert race here) in the hallway at the moment!

Jeon Jungkook turned around, his eyes darting down at you who had managed to pick up your book, smoothing out it's pages. He walked back over to you, leaning a hand against the lockers. "Aw I'm sorry Y/N. Is the book okay?" he said in a baby-ish voice.

"Most likely not" you answered flatly. "Suffered minor damage."

"Whoops." He winked. You couldn't see his mouth under that stupid bear mouth mask but you were sure those lips were formed into a smirk. "Sorry to hear it." he shrugged before catching up with his friends. You glared at his back, shaking your head mentally as other girls secretly gawked at him.

What was the appeal? He broke rules for one, he rarely does his work, he's just!

Growling under your breath, you didn't realized your friend, Lisa had walked up to you. (It can be Blackpink's Lisa, or whoever you want lol).

"Why does Jungkook always make you so mad." she giggled.

"Because he enjoys making my like a living hell." you grumbled.

"Come on, I packed lunch for us both." she laughed, patting your back. You followed Lisa to the cafeteria. The way your school was made, you had classes in the morning, all the important stuff, then lunch around noon. Then the rest of the school day was focused on fine arts. Gym, music, art, etc. The students who decided they didn't want to follow rules we're given extra classes or worse...cleaning duty.

Exactly the reason you were the perfect student. The hell you look like cleaning floors or a tiny room that makes you claustrophobic.

You and Lisa sat at your usual spot.

"So what are your plans after lunch?" Lisa asked, furiously biting into her sandwich. "Ugh, I accidentally ate yours again. I really have to label these things."

You laughed you two switched sandwiches. "Probably gonna go to the dance studio next to the gym." you shrugged. "Work on some stuff."

"You're the only person I know who looks graceful dancing, but right after when you begin to walk, falls on your face." she laughed. You flicked a peice of bread at her, making her laugh louder. Your happiness died down at you saw 'them' enter the room. They were all laughing like the delinquents they were.

"Incoming." you rolled your eyes as your table was approached.

"Hey Y/N. When are we finally gonna go on a date?" Namjoon winked. Lisa fake gagged as you answered.

"When hell freezes over." you flatly said, causally drinking your bottle of apple juice.

"How cold." Namjoon took the sandwich from your hand and took a bite. "Not bad, American cheese?"

"Hey! That was mine!" you said disgusted as it was set back down in front of you. You used a plastic knife to cut around where his mouth touched. "And for the record, it's Pepper jack cheese!"

"Awww she's defending herself." Yoongi cooed. "She's adorable."

"Jungkook could you please inform your friends that just because I tolerate you does not mean the favor transfers to them?" you looked up at Jungkook who had taken off his mouth mask.

"Aw do you only want me to make fun of you?" he put a hand over his heart before walking over to you. "How thoughtful!"

"Could we go four seconds without you being annoying?!" You asked, raising a brow, before you face formed a pout.

"Oh another thing." Jungkook leaned close to your face, his fingers grazed your chin. "Only make that cute face in front of me."

"What face?" you snapped, while ironically making the exact face he was talking about.

"Later Y/N." he chuckled. You swore a genuine smile crossed his features. Maybe you were hallucinating.

You watched as they walked away, leaving you and Lisa. "He totally likes you." she giggled. "I can tell."

"I hope you're wrong." you sighed." I'm gonna throw our trash away."

As you went over to the trashcans, you were approached by a girl, you knew who she was but not so much her name. You kept forgetting.

She would brag about how her parents have ties to the biggest companies in the country. Good for her, she'd have some luck decided that type of idol Career she'd want to choose, that was pretty cool! What wasn't cool was the fact that she always rubbed it in everyone's face. Every chance she got.

"You think you're good enough for one of the Bangtan boys?!" she crossed her arms like a stereotypical villain.

"No. They think that I actually enjoy their presence in my sight." you scoffed. "The bastards."

"Liar! You're probably trying to-"

"I didn't ask for them to just come up to me, you can have them." you began. "I have no interest in-"

Before you could process what had just happened you fell a rush of coldness down your front. Only to see the girl with an empty cup and a smirk. You stared down at your shirt just to see foam and macha powder. The side of your face had warm liquid (most likely coffee) dripping down your cheek.

"That'll teach you to interrupt me, stay away from Jungkook."

The entire cafeteria went silent before erupting into whispers.

"Poor Y/N"

"Why did she do that?"

"Y/N wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"Y/N is so sweet, how could anyone bully her?"

You couldn't believe what had just happened, this girl purposely dumped her drink all over you. In front of everyone.

Your eyes instantly darted over to where Jungkook and his friends sat. They all stared in disbelief. Why did you suddenly care if Jungkook saw? You saw traces of sympathy, worry even. Or maybe that was your brain playing trick on you.

Embarrassed, upset, and taken aback you stared over at Lisa who quite literally jumped over the table and ran over to you.

"Y/N....Y/N speak!" Lisa shook your shoulders. You turned away from your friend, back to girl. Before you knew it, she was on the floor holding her nose. A pain shot down your knuckles in the realization that you, good girl Y/N had just punched one of the meanest people in school.

You made a beeline for the exit. You didn't run, nor did you fast-walk. You wouldn't give anyone who hated you the satisfaction of knowing you were embarrassed.

As soon as you got outside, you ran. You didn't care where your feet took you...you just ran.

This. Was. All. His. Fault.

"Y/N." a masculine voice called from behind you. "Hey!"

You turned around to meet Jungkook who had caught up with you. "Are you okay?"

"Stay away from me." you warned. "Your little girlfriend gave me a message, which I'll deliver back to you. Don't talk to me, don't look at me. Matter of fact, don't breathe around me." you began, choking a bit, " if THIS is the treatment I GET FOR JUST TOLERATING YOUR PICKING ON ME-"

"What are you talking about?!" he cut you off. "Are you crying?"

"I just got hot coffee spilled on me because that girl in there is under the impression that I have an infatuation with you!" you poked his chest. "Of course I'm crying you imbecile! She did this to me because of you!"

Before you knew it, Jungkook had whipped out a napkin and wiped the dripping coffee off your face. You didn't say anything as he wiped around your eyes and hairline.

Why was he being so nice to you?

"You really are a goody two shoes." he shook his head. "She's not my girlfriend, I don't even know her!"

That still didn't change the fact that he was the subject to the reason you got a green tea latte spilled on you.

"Then why did she-" you began. "Forget it." you turned away. You didn't even care about the fine-arts portion of that day, you just wanted go home.

"Because she's jealous that I give you all my attention!"

"Which brings me back to why? You always seem to have a new girl on your arm every time I see you. You should be laughing in my face with the rest of your friends, you should be making a snide comment, you shoul-"

Jungkook suddenly spun you around and kissed you in the middle of your rant. His fingers tilted your chin up. "Mm, when will you learn to shush."

You couldn't wrap your head about what had just happened.

...

"You still mad at me?" Jungkook asked and you angrily scrubbed a beaker. Of course the first time you defend yourself, your punishment is detention. WITH JUNGKOOK NO LESS.

You didn't answer, running the glass under water and setting it down with the rest of the lab supplies. "Hey, I'm bored. Wanna fuck?"

You almost dropped the test tube you were holding as you turned to glare at him. "What do you want?" you bit back a snide comment.

"To talk to you." he said is a "duh" tone.

"Well I don't." you replied. You just wanted to serve this detention and never get another one. "And no, I'll pass on fucking you."

"Aw maybe next time. Do you have a boyfriend or something?" he asked, leaning against the counter. You shook your head to signify that you did not. "Why?"

"Because nobody cares enough." you said flatly. "Happy?"

"No really. You're great!" Jungkook mused. "Any guy would be happy to have you."

"Huh?" you raised a brow. "What are you getting at?"

"You deserve someone who-....who cares about you Y/N. Who wants to see you happy." he said seriously. "Someone who knows you, but also learns new things about you as well." he chuckled. "Like how good of a hit you are despite me only ever seeing you read books." You focused on Jungkook's face, where was the annoying bad boy who always got on your nerves? He was still there, right?

"Whose dumb enough to care about a stick in the mud goody two shoes like me." you looked down at your shoes. "I'm all about rules and knowledge. I've never met someone who finds that endearing."

"You really are innocent." he shook his head. "Do I have to spell it out?"

You looked up at Jungkook who wore that typical smirk that didn't reach his eyes. He brushed a few hairs from over your eyes. Jungkook crashed his mouth over yours. He threw the sponge you were holding off somewhere and your hands tangled in his hair.

You leaned your head back, feeling his scalding hot mouth against your flesh. His tongue left a scorching trail down your neck. His hand contrasted in temperature, feeling cold as he slid under your shirt. Your hands rested on his cheeks, your lips moving steadily together. Before you know it, you were being lifted onto the counter.

"Does this mean you like me back?" he chuckled, smiling cheekily.

...

"Come on. If anyone says anything, I'll kick their asses." Jungkook cheekily smiled. You two stood outside the double doors of the entrance to the school. Last week was hectic and seemed like so much happened.

"Okay." you slipped your hand in his. It was like several gasps could be heard. The two polar opposites seen holding hands, stop the presses! Innocent little you was seen holding hands with the man who broke the last principal's nose.

You walked over to Lisa who was wearing a smirk. "Told you so."

"Shut up." you mumbled.

"Hey, you got an eye problem fuckface?" you heard Jungkook growl at who you assumed was someone who was glaring a little too hard. "Look somewhere else before I-"

"Aye Jungkook!" Hoseok suddenly walked up. "Calm down bro. Hey Y/N, you're looking-"

"Say anything to her that she doesn't like and there will be one less man alive today." He warned, pulling you closer to him.

"So you two are-" Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

To answer his question, Jungkook grabbed you by the waist and crashed his lips over yours, causing fake gags and "EW's" to erupt from his friends.

"Get a room would ya?" Jin rolled his eyes.

(AND WE'RE DONE! WHOO! MY POST WAS TOO LONG WTF AAAH. I HIT THE MAX POST LIMIT WITH LINE BREAKS TELL ME IF YOU WANT A PART TWO!)

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