#but also daily reminder that if you cant handle certain topic being discussed you can block those tags!!!

[iwanttobepersephone]

Literally my mental stability is so fragile I just had to block the tag "mental health" because I can't handle that stuff anymore

What the frick is wrong with me

[mahalkosikimtaehyungxd]

It’s just another one of those weeks.

As usual, this week is another week full of stress and anxiousness. The MST was still ongoing so I had to review all of the subjects and the topics discussed. I will say it was actually pretty difficult to focus since the test was done online and not answered on actual paper. It was a new experience for a lot of us. I myself was really anxious because thats the kind of person I am. I overthink a lot and I worry about the smallest things. Thats why I was nervous about the MST.

I was really stressed out. I had to go through all the lessons and topics on each subjects before I compile them and make a proper reviewer for each subjects so that I could use them as reference. I was also having difficulty in most subjects like math, because to be honest I am not the best at this subject and I dont think I ever will be. But i tried my best to understand the topics even though they gave me serious headaches. 

Ever since this new normal for us students came up, It was not easy to adjust at all. I was very nervous of how things were gonna go especially during exams and quizzes. It wont be the same as going to actual school and getting the real life experience of senior highschool. Its so sad that i get to spend my first year of being a senior like this. I wish things weren’t like this. This kind of situation isn’t good for my mental health either. Like I said I’ve gotten very anxious and had an amount for anxiety attacks. Surprisingly I got through those. Shocking. But its so hard, its not easy being the eldest child. They think everything about you is wrong. That really triggered me and made me really upset and cried every night with a head full of thoughts I choose to let out when I am alone. The pandemic really hit me in a way where I realized certain things and where I felt more not myself.

Now back to this week, I guess its just another one of those weeks I just have to get through with because I have no other choice but to keep going. This is the path I wanted to take so why not just lead it and see where it takes me. Days like these are maybe just signs that God is trying to test us into wether we are capable of controlling our own monsters and inner self and as well as if we can fight our own battles without his help. But we know He is up there watching us cheering us on and telling us to keep going. 

A week of typical problems that can easily be fixed but also become worse. These are the kinds that I come across, I pray to be strong enough to handle. This isnt the end yet, there are still many thing I still want to accomplish. I may have fallen a couple times, but I will always pick myself up and stand up and be stronger. This was just another week, it wasnt even a year yet but well, we are close to the year ending. I may sound dramatic but its worth saying. Everyday I remind myself to stop overthinking, I cant control everything, just let it be. These 7 boys have done a great impact in my life, Im glad they helped get through this week and the rest of my days where I was at my lowest. They serve as my daily reminder to, keep going.