#but also at my thinnest i was a DDD so :/

[froggierboy]

u know what. the fact that thinness as well as natural lack of prominent female secondary sex characteristics are literally the expected standard for trans men has literally destroyed my self esteem and resulted in intense dysphoria and dysmorphia that at this point ONLY surgery will fix and im a little mad that it didn't have to be this way, that i literally fundamentally can not relate to any of the trans men i know irl and that they largely fail to acknowledge that their experiences aren't actually universal

[silent-scribbs]

I found cute ass game, THERE'S A COUPLE ARTISTS THAT ARE SO GOOD LIKE SOAPYSKYY It's available on itch.io, can be played web version so no need to download

I got my own gallery of stuff I've made :)

I actually love trying to make thinner lines than the thinnest (without deluxe ig) It's so fun, man And it's motivating to see art and try to build off of it :3

CHALLENGE YO'SELF >:DDD

also

I AM SO FUCKING MAD

I WAS MAKING A COOL ASS [Amanita muscaria]

AND FOR SOME REASON THE GAME THOUGHT I INPUT SOMETHING TO LEAVE/CANCEL

I LOST IT ALLLLL

I don't even have any screenshots of it TwT

Also, mildly annoying, I uploaded this (black lines on the pumpkin) and the background was white, but when I hit upload, it filled in the white for some reason :/

[kiibearer-a]

AND NOW FOR MY IN DEPTH REACTION POST TO KH3 IN ITS ENTIRETY:

( jokes on me I actually made this in depth ) 

What the absolute fuck was that.  It’s not even meant in hostility, I just don’t at all get what any of that ending meant or what it was supposed to represent or support. I’ve spent all day thinking WORST CASE on what was possibly going to come of that ending. Was Sora going to die? Was Sora some how in relation with the Master of Masters, was Sora going to be Norted and made to fight everyone and it was their turn to fight against him—like all of these possible scenarios that could have been REMARKABLY worse than what we got.  And frankly, I don’t even know what we got. I have no idea how to break that down and make anything from it, because this ENTIRE GAME just completely negated all the years of Sora’s journey in the span of two hours.  There was just...so much unnecessary digging at all these holes that had been already been too deep that looking at this as a whole is just so exhausting because I don’t even know where to start. I can start by saying, none of this will probably change my interpretation of Sora or his motivations or his drive? It didn’t matter. The story absolutely did nothing to absolve a lot of the overarching and LOOMING impressions that it was giving, so, it just...doesn’t change Sora. WHICH HERES THE SCOOP ON SOMETHING I LITERALLY WAS PLANNING ON DOING THIS WEEK 

( because I have no way to reorganize this, here begins the list of frustrations I guess :  ) 

01. Sora’s resolution—So a big thing that really bothered me this game was this intense reminder that “Sora is nothing without everyone else”. Throughout the series as a whole, more specifically KH1, CoM and DDD, there are a lot of themes of this SCRUTINIZING “teasing” to Sora’s character that he is useless and incapable without the aide of others. Honestly, it’s more fair to say that Sora being the main character is whole heartedly an accident. It’s fair to call him dull, ordinary, unimpressive and unremarkable. But what captures so much of his character and WHY he is the main character is because he is all those things and that’s what makes him remarkably amazing to those around him. He exceeds every and all expectation because people think him incapable when he is profoundly capable, even by the thinnest of margins. His confidence only grows with others beside him. Sora is extraordinary because in every instance he faces, he overcomes the odds because he believes in how capable he is to solve it. He will do anything to fix a problem, he won’t stop until others are helped. And all of these things are also FLAWS. His flaws are his strengths because he’s learning how to grow from his mistakes and his failures. And from the previous settings of hearing people tell him how incapable he is because he’s not as good, not as tough or as smart—he grows because he’s trying to CHANGE to be better. And the same thing I have heard throughout the majority of this series is people telling him “Don’t ever change.” Sora has changed. He’s grown self-conscious, he’s anxious and hesitant. More reliant on others than himself. Because he’s been so stunted by this need to remain who he is, but unable to change and evolve from all the hurt and suffering he has endured and taken for others. And never got the chance to evolve from that AT ALL, this game. I was half expection with worlds like Tangled, and San Fransokyo, and the small hope of Moana that characters like Rapunzel, Hiro and Moana could show Sora that in these moments of weakness and incapability, just because you are alone or abandoned or scared and hurt, these things do not define who you are and who you are TO OTHERS. They test you to grow and change and believe in the way that you can make differences and learn from those mistakes and put downs.  And Sora didn’t get that at all.  02. Kairi— First and foremost, I personally would want to apologize to every Kairi player there is because what Nomura did to her was awful. What has happened to Kairi this entire SEIRES, was awful and shameless and I’m just...really frustrated that I don’t have more sympathy to care for her the way I want to. She has been a bone for Sora to follow the whole time, she has been a fridge, she has been a set piece, a plot device, a plot foundation—all while never being able to control her own agency in the process. Every decision is made for her, and every decision she makes does not feel like her own. Her relationship with Sora feels so...stagnant despite all this pressure between their bond and their intertwined destinies. There is no foundation because we don’t know who the hell Kairi is. We don’t know what she likes, where she came from, what she wants because anything scripted will tell you “Sora”. And from her, Sora is her personality in these games. And it’s absolutely UNFAIR. The entire ending I sat there thinking, “Neat everyone is just...catching up like old friends, after you know, Sora seeing the one person he’s fought so hard to protect and keep safe just shatter in front of his eyes....AND NO ONE IS THE LEAST BIT CONCERNED, MUCH LESS SORA HIMSELF?” I felt Naminé had more people that cared about her than Kairi did, because in this strange pocket of tethers Kairi ONLY had Sora. She hardly interacted with Riku, or gave him the time of day, despite him also being a part of their friendship. She didn’t deserve ANY of that. She did not deserve to die to be Sora’s motivation for saving the world from darkness, and Sora shouldn’t have “died” at the expense of saving her. They have done enough for each other to prove their bonds and their ties that they didn’t need this self sacrifice to solidified what they meant to one another. Whatever the relationship between them, be it romantically inclined or not, they genuinely failed her. They failed to give Kairi the resolution she needed : which what to not be DEFINED by who Sora was to her. 

03. Xenhanort— At this point I’ve fought them so much I don’t even care. I can genuinely say with @dawnbreaks as my witness, I did not die a SINGLE death this entire playthrough. Not once. There felt like little challenge, the stakes didn’t feel as severe as they maybe should have been and for all the work and effort anyone has put in to trying to understand what happened, and why we were fighting; there was no result satisfying that felt good enough to explain that. Why at the very end, did the organization members get agency and then were killed? Why at the last minute did Xehanort, a man HENOUS ENOUGH to spilt a boy apart and leave him for dead, kidnapper of several people who he in turn forced himself into vessels, a man PREPARED TO PURGE THE WORLD ANEW, suddenly changes at the presences of fwens and just STOPS. I get that “Oh this is a Disney title and we can’t have him going murder spree on everything”—LIKE ITS A TAD LATE, but wHY would you reform him. His actions are WHAT DEFINED HIM AS THE VILLAIN. He was cruel and uncaring, and intending to let everyone UNDERSTAND THE CASUALTY OF HIS SACRIFICE BEING NECESSARY. ...I hate when villains are shafted in their own cruelty because of a good triumphing evil. We know the difference and I’m sure the villain knows the difference in context. What makes a good villain is when their context can justify the reasoning behind what they do, it shows their motivations and their strive towards their goal ; often parallel to the hero. And most good villains don’t simply CHANGE because someone asks them not to. Otherwise why be a villain at all.  04. Sora’s Death ?— I love Sora. With all my heart and soul, I GENUINELY love him a lot. He has been a character who has been there for me through a lot of hard times, he’s been someone I aspire to be like and a character I have treasured DEARLY. At this point, I would have rather Sora stayed dead. At the first point in time when he ended up in the Final World, I would have rather that’s where he stayed. Aside from the fact that his story is becoming a dead horse beaten, sometimes death in stories happen. They are sad and upsetting and all around unfavourable, but his “death” was so...unnecessary. Much like Kairi’s. There was absolutely no reason for it to have happened to either of them, much less at the expense of EACH OTHER. It’s not romantic, it strengthens no bond and there was no WEIGHT behind either sacrifice. It was just to kill time.  A brilliant example of a death made fair was Noctis.  Noctis is another character who I truly love, who I enjoyed every step of his journey and in the end was absolutely devastated to lose. But his death MEANT something. Because I played an entire goddamn game that showed what he gave toward that sacrifice and how he went from a self-preserving child to a KING, who knew the sacrifice that was meant for not just HIS people but THE PEOPLE to survive.  It was a death that was beautiful and tragic because it FUCKING MEANT SOMETHING TO ME, as a player, and watching Sora die for Kairi meant NOTHING. And that sounds so cruel and unfair, but its because she too died for nothing. She was not stopping Xehanort from anything. She was not a means to his end. She was not a driving force that could contain or deny his success. She was a girl who has and ONLY has been define by her relationship to Sora, and was used a pawn to motivate him, when he didn’t need it.  And for Sora to do the exact same thing, after people who have fought themselves back from the brink for and with him, to let him just WALK away to retrieve her, and then just blink away, not only denies everything I did in this game. But it denies everything that Sora has done for her and that he’s meant to do for her.  IN FACT, I plan on making a verse with the intention that Sora is dead.  Because the idea of Sora even trading himself to restore her once sealing Kindgom Hearts is a far better outcome than just TRADING life tokens and waking up in a FFVX ripoff.  I don’t understand what this game was trying to explain, narratively.  Combat was fun.  Seeing old characters rendered in the new engine was nice.  Watching how more animated Sora was and over all his look and mannerisms and just following his journey again was comforting.  But what did I do? And why. There was no point to anything that I just did in games prior, because all of it is gone in this one. And that’s really disappointing after waiting 13 years, to beat a game in five days.