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1k celebration
summary: pushing and pulling, always wanting more until one doesn't have anything left to give.
pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc
word count: 11.7k
warnings: not proofread, profanities, SMUT - MINORS DNI! This is an 18+ fic (unprotected sex, vaginal sex, fingering - f receiving, oral - m & f receiving), angsty af, daniel lowkey being very whiney and pathetic but its okay. i could also be so inaccurate in descriptions of monaco and other locations but pls it just works well with the story.
note: i hope you love this, i had so much fun writing it. and before you ask, yes i will be writing a part two. but don't ask me when bc i have 2 wips left. s/o to @bigdiccricc for helping me when i was stuck, i literally love you forever.
songs i listened to while writing this:
lifeline - joshua bassett // sad songs in a hotel room - joshua bassett // bad omens - 5sos // bleach - 5sos // emotions - 5sos // the way you look tonight - tony bennett //
Daniel wanders the halls and rooms of the house, curtly smiles and nods to people who greeted him and wished him luck just before the season goes into full swing. The air is thick, filled with expectations of 2022 and what he could just pull off. Most of the people expected the most of him, expected him to whip miracles out of a car that simply wasn’t made for him. It made his stomach churn.
The Aussie looks at his phone for the hundredth time tonight, heart deflating at the screen void of her name. Just more meaningless texts about work and more wishful words. Daniel felt pathetic.
The Aussie looks at his phone for the hundredth time tonight, heart deflating at the screen void of her name. Just more meaningless texts about work and more wishful words. Daniel felt pathetic.
He doesn’t stay at the party for much longer, bidding goodbye to his closest friends and promising to see them one more time before he leaves. No one wondered why the life of the party was so glum or seemed to care. Daniel had never left a party so quickly, never welcomed an empty home more in his life. He shuffles into bed, the soft sheets and plush pillows embracing him. That’s when his phone chimes, screen lighting up the dark room. He should’ve been ashamed of how quickly he reached for his cell, swiping up on his screen to read the gray bubbles under her name.
I’m really sorry.
Are you awake?
I need you
There it was. Three words that will always keep Daniel hooked. All Anahí had to do was say she needed him, and Daniel was there. Whatever, whenever, she just says or sends those three words and he would come running. I need you. Three words have never sounded so pretty rolling off her tongue.
Wide awake angel.
Where are you?
Daniel is already rolling out of bed, slipping back the same joggers and sweatshirt he had on. Just as he rolls his socks onto his feet, his phone chimes again.
Home.
I’m brewing tea.
It’ll be ready when you get here
He had to chuckle at himself and acknowledge his predictability. Ana knew him all too well.
Just fucking pathetic.
Anahí only lived twenty minutes from his home in Monaco, sometimes ten when he remembers what he does for a living. The drive is quiet, streets empty with exception of one or two cars. Most people were fast asleep, or just about to roll into bed. It’s what Daniel loves most about Monaco. The simplicity, the suburban feel of it. He loved Monaco in all its glory, loved everything it gave him. And that included her.
He parks next to Ana’s gray Mercedes S-Class, feet taking him all the way to her front door. It isn’t the first time he finds himself walking to her door past midnight. Hell, it might be the earliest he’s ever shown up. He taps the door thrice, rocking back and forth from heel to toe as he waits for her to open the door. It’s only a couple of seconds before he hears the locks jiggle and click, and Anahí is yanking the door open. There is defeat in her eyes, the usual brightness in them gone. She doesn’t say anything, just steps aside to allow him to enter. It’s quiet, the air thick with the unknown.
Just as she promised, there are two mugs sitting on the dining table with steam rising from the top. The kitchen is tidy, minus the silver kettle sitting on the stove and the opened box of tea bags on the counter.
“I found this ‘happy tea’ at the grocery store. We can see if it works.” She finally says.
Daniel turns his head, eyes following as she moves around him and to the seat in front of the white mug. He sits in front of her, fingers hooking around the navy blue handle to tug it towards him. Daniel can finally study her, really look and try to understand her at this moment.
The name Anahí is of Spanish origin, meaning beautiful like the flower. Her name never rang more true, even in her dampened state. Her cheeks are rosy, lips a beautiful shade of red, and her lashes long and thick. Long dark hair waterfalls over her shoulder, a mess of effortless waves. Even in the warm kitchen light, unflattering as it is, Anahí looked like an angel. Her thin fingers wrap around the ceramic mug, hugging it between her palms as she brings it close to her lips. She blows softly, before sipping. For the briefest of moments, her eyes fall shut, inhaling deeply. Daniel is mesmerized by the short moment of serenity, the look of content before her eyes open and she sets the cup down on the table.
“Well?”
She looks up at Daniel, a small smile on her lips before she shrugs. “I’m just happy you came.”
He can’t fight the smile forming on the lips, or the small giggle bubbling from his throat. He can’t help the warmth brewing in his chest over such a simple sentence. She smiles back, sweeping her hair over her shoulder. They sit in a much more comfortable silence, just sipping tea and enjoying the presence of the other. Halfway down the cup, Daniel leans back and looks up at his best friend.
“You look nice, did you have a date?”
She shakes her head, “No. Yes… but no. I got stood up. Which is fine, but it isn’t.”
Daniel tilts his head, raising his brow in confusion. “Fine but it isn’t?”
“He eliminated himself.” Ana shrugs, eyes casted towards the dark liquid in her cup. “Now I don’t have to guess if he’s the one or not.”
“But…?”
“But what’s so wrong with me? What is so wrong that I seem to deter men who want more than a one night stand?”
The air gets caught in Daniel’s lungs, throat running dry. He needed to choose his words carefully, craft his response in a way that won’t totally give away his feelings for her. Was there a platonic way of saying that there wasn’t anything wrong with her, that in fact everything about her makes his heart swell? That he’s sitting right here, that he’s been here this entire time pining for her, waiting patiently for her to realize that he’s a man who wants more than a one night stand?
“I guess it’s my mistake for going on Tinder,” Anahí speaks up again, standing from her seat and going to pour the remnants of her tea down the sink.
Daniel chuckles dryly, standing and following her to do the same. “Yeah. Maybe.”
He washes her dishes while she moves around behind him. There is soft clinging and clanging, cabinet doors opening and closing. It’s almost domestic, down right perfect as he stands there in her space while she moves freely. Daniel places the mug on the drying rack, shaking his hands before drying them on the beige hand towel. He turns his body, leaning against the counter as he watches Ana walk around her kitchen.
“Listen,” Daniel’s voice makes her turn in her place, looking up at him inquisitively, “For what it’s worth, it’s not you. It’s the way some men are wired. And I think that the world collectively is afraid of commitment.”
Ana smiles, nodding. “Is it the way you’re wired?”
He chuckles, “I’d like to think not.”
“I don’t know Danny,” Ana teases, dragging out the o in ‘know’. “Thirty-two and no commitment?”
“Woah! Don’t pull out the age card,” Daniel laughs, poking her in the stomach. She giggles, tiny hands grabbing his wrists to stop him from poking her any further.
“Maybe you should be on Tinder,” Ana laughs, jabbing her finger into his chest as he laughs loudly.
“I’m more of a Hinge guy myself actually.” He jolts his hand forward, fingers reaching her skin and poking her stomach once more.
Anahí’s laugh is loud. It’s the kind of laugh that will make your head turn, make you ponder over what kind of a woman would own a laugh like hers. Her smile is wild, ear to ear and tongue peeking between her pearly white teeth. It’s music, Daniel’s favorite song.
Ana catches his wrists in her hands, finally stopping his friendly prodding. “Okay okay, stop! I surrender.”
Daniel nods, straightening his posture. The skin of his wrists tingles beneath her touch, like little jolts of electricity passing between the two. The moment lasted a couple of seconds, but to Daniel it felt much longer. He could stand in that moment forever, under her happy gaze.
“Will you spend the night?” Anahí asks softly, releasing his wrists. “One more sleepover before you become too busy for me.”
“Never too busy for you angel.”
She rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”
Daniel contemplates his options. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s spent the night, innocently laying in bed by her. But he knows that it wouldn’t be smart. He knows that if anything, it will fuck him over for the n-th time. The night will turn into him watching her sleep, wishing on the stars that she’d wake up and have an epiphany. Maybe she’d wake up and see him by her side and realize he would never leave. Though, that’s not how life works. She would never magically read his mind, never be able to have that realization on her own. He knows what he has to do, what he needs to say. And in spite of that his fear of fucking up the only good thing in his life keeps his lips sealed. Sleeping in the same bed would only mean he gets his feelings hurt when he has to leave in the morning. It means his heart breaking as he watches her move in her space, perfectly comfortable with his presence and comfortable without it.
Anahí looks up at him with her wide brown eyes, waiting for the answer she already knows. Daniel didn’t have the heart to say no.
So they climb into bed, Anahí on the right and Daniel on the left. He’s stripped down to his boxers, the cotton duvet soft against his skin. Anahí is still sitting up, swiping away on her phone before lying comfortably on her side. Daniel props his head up on his hand, elbow resting on the pillow as he looks down at the girl next to him.
“What are you thinking about?” He whispers, reaching over to push a stray strand of hair off her face.
She hums softly, savoring the delicate feel of his fingertips grazing her skin. There is a look of serenity on her face, the way her eyes shut for the briefest of seconds, and the slight flair in her nostrils as she breathes in.
“Thinking about how lonely I’ve been.” Anahí admits softly, “Thinking about all the failed dates and encounters. Of all the time I’ve wasted… sometimes I think that this life I’m leading is all that’s left. It’s hard to see an ‘up’ from where I’m standing.”
Daniel lowers his head on the pillow, shifting his body around trying to get comfortable. “There’s always an up. This isn’t it for you angel, there’s still so much time left in the world to see the ups.”
“Thank you for coming tonight,” She yawns, moving a little closer to him. “Thank you for always being a constant in my life. I can’t imagine this life without you Daniel.”
He could kiss her. There is no stronger urge than the one he had now. He wants to weave his fingers through her hair and kiss her hard. He wanted his lips to show her how much he cares for her, show her that he will always be a constant even when she no longer needs him. He wants to hold her against him, to feel her warmth against his skin.
He doesn’t kiss her. Instead he rests his hand on hers, squeezing softly.
“Anything for you, Ana.”
It isn’t long before Ana falls into a deep slumber. Her lips are slightly parted hair standing disarray due to her small movements. The room was pitch black, with the exception of the small little nightlight in the corner of the room. The light is warm, making her skin look far more golden than it is. There Daniel lies, admiring her and making all those wishes that will never come true.
The morning goes how it normally does. Daniel wakes before her, rolls out of bed to start up a pot of coffee to start their day. By the time Ana wakes up, Daniel is already walking in with her cup of coffee. She smiles, eyes still closed as she stretches her arms over her head. He holds out the cup for her to take, waiting patiently as she slowly sits up and reaches for it. She says a quiet thank you before sipping her coffee. They sit in comfortable silence until one has to say goodbye. Today it’s Daniel, chucking his early departure to conference calls and training.
He walks out of her apartment feeling unfulfilled. He felt like he had fucked himself over as he drowns in the memory of her asleep by his side and how easy it was being with her. Daniel sits in his blue McLaren 540C, head resting on the steering wheel.
Daniel felt just fucking pathetic.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
It must've been three days since Daniel last heard from Anahí. No texts or calls, absolutely no effort from either party to communicate. With him preparing to leave for Bahrain for pre-season testing and Anahí too busy with work, there hadn’t been much time to talk.
Daniel is set to leave in two days, and knowing how busy his last two days in Monaco are going to be, there wasn’t much thought into sending Ana a ‘wyd’ text. Three letters simply asking if she was available. Daniel sits at his desk trying his best to concentrate on reading the lengthy email on his computer screen. There were updates on the car plus a new agenda for his arrival in Bahrain, very important information he needed to comprehend and yet his mind is stuck on his cellphone and its black screen. If roles were reversed, he would be running. He’d have replied in an instant. It made him feel like shit, when it really shouldn’t.
His phone finally chimes after ten minutes.
Sorry, was driving.
Just got home, but might go out to take a walk. Join me?
Daniel grins, letting her know he’d meet her at hers in twenty minutes. He makes quick work of replying to the remainder of his emails, taking screenshots of his Bahrain schedule, and making sure that most of his work was squared away. He’d probably hear it from his manager, but it wasn’t anything his Aussie charm couldn’t handle.
Anahí is waiting on the front steps of her building, tapping away on her phone and not noticing the curly haired boy jogging up to her. She finally looks up when his footsteps grow louder, greeting him with a smile and open arms for a hug. He scoops her up into his arms, burying his face into her neck for a brief moment before releasing her. She smells of fresh laundry and vanilla. Her hair is tied up high, away from her face and waves falling neatly to her mid-back.
“We can just walk to the park from here, and we can stop by to get a smoothie too.”
“Sounds like a plan angel.” Daniel smiles, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
The walk from her building to the smoothie shop is only five minutes. And in those five minutes, Anahí rambles on and on about her work, filling him in on the last three days since they last saw each other. She’s always spoken so animatedly, Daniel notes. Her hands move flamboyantly, her voice rising and falling with each story she told. She speaks with such passion, such fire, it was hard for Daniel not to fall even more.
He opens the door for her, like a gentleman does. He orders her mango smoothie and a green one for himself, and pays even with her protesting. And when they walk out of the shop, Daniel’s arm is slung over her shoulder with his hat sitting low.
“Are you excited for the season to start?” She asks.
“Yeah. I’m excited to see how the car has changed, and how I’m gonna kick ass this year.”
Ana giggles softly, “Good to see that spirits are high. I’m excited for you.”
Daniel removes his arm from her shoulder to switch hands holding his drink, trying to shake the cold off. “Gonna come out and see me?”
“Just a call away Danny. Say the word and I’ll be there.”
She leans against his side, steps in sync with his. His heart swells at her words, each one planting seeds of hope in his heart. He smiles widely at her, pressing his cheek against the top of her head briefly. “How ‘bout Bahrain?”
“Bahrain it is.”
Daniel holds the drink in the other hand again, even if it still burns to hold, and slings his arm over her shoulder again. Ana leans into his embrace, sipping on her smoothie like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The quiet moments of the walk are comfortable, just the sound of sneakers hitting the pavement and cars whizzing by filling the space. Daniel savors the calmness of the moments, the feeling of moving with the world instead of hundreds of miles ahead. He commits the moment to memory, the feeling of peace and smell of vanilla all engraved in his brain. Everything felt perfect.
“Okay,” Ana plops onto a bench under a tree, sitting sideways to face the Australian, “One hope for the year that you’d like to see come true.”
The question catches Daniel off guard. “Just one?”
“Just one.”
Daniel looks up at the greenery above him in contemplation. He had many hopes for the year, for the future in general. He had hopes for his career, hopes for the season, and hopes for his life out of the car. There was one nagging in the back of his head, threatening to bubble out of his mouth in gentle confessions.
If he was going to be completely honest, one hope he had for the year was Ana. To be able to give all of himself to her, and for her to find comfort in giving all of herself to him. He wanted to be openly in love with her, to show how much he cares. He hoped for a day where his affections no longer had to be a secret, and that she would be accepting of it.
But he couldn’t say that now. He didn’t want to run the risk of ruining such a perfect moment in their friendship.
“In terms of my career, just being as productive as I can be on the team. I hope for wins and points, and just being the best I can possibly be in the car.”
“But not in terms of your career?”
“Thought you said ‘just one,’ Ana.” Daniel teases, sipping the remainder of his drink.
“Don’t deflect.”
He chuckles, “Kidding. My hope for life outside of work…”
Daniel looks at Ana, smiling at her relaxed state. She looks up at him, wide eyed and patiently waiting for his answer. She looked at him like he held the world in his hands, filled with admiration and eagerness. It nearly tempted him to spill his guts out, lay it all out on the bench in the middle of the park.
“I just hope that whatever I decide to do, however I manage to go about my life, that I’ll be happy by the end of it.”
Ana’s smile is comforting, reassuring him that he said the right thing. “You are such a simple man. I love that about you.”
Love. Daniel ignores the flutter in his gut, posing the same question for her.
“One hope for your year?”
The girl plays with the ends of her ponytail, twirling the loose wave around her finger. She has her thinking face on. Bottom lip tucked between her teeth, cheeks tensed, and eyes focused on her free hand swirling her melted smoothie with the plastic straw. It’s only quiet for a couple of seconds before Ana’s head pops up, eyes meeting his own.
“Same as you, honestly. I just want to be completely content with my life and the choices I make.”
“Simple woman. Love it.”
Ana’s smile is wide, eyes crinkling, and nose scrunched up. They both laugh softly. The air is light, easy to breathe. Their knees are touching as they sit on the park bench facing each other, smiles on both their faces. Daniel didn’t want the moment to end. He never wanted to leave the feeling of belonging, the feeling of knowing that this is where he’s meant to be. Relationships and commitment and the whole nine yards had never appealed to him, until this moment. He revels in the simplicity sitting there, on a dirty park bench, and feeling completely at ease.
He never wanted the smiles and sweet words to ever end.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
P6. It wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t where Daniel wanted to finish at his home race. The whole weekend fell flat. It should’ve been his weekend. From the outside looking in, the days leading up to his home race were ever in his favor. He was home, it was his track. But fuck was it a messy weekend. Had he taken a shot for every colored flag called, every car spinning out, every retirement, he would’ve blacked out. Though he wasn’t entirely without fault. Truthfully, he wasn’t comfortable in his car. No matter what he did, what he tried to adjust, the damn thing was not working with him. Everyone came around to see him win, or at least the bottom step of the podium. He wanted to give home something to brag about, especially after two years of not racing at home. And all he had to deliver was P-fucking-six. He felt like he let people down, felt like a fucking failure.
And to sully the weekend even more, it has been radio silence from Ana. Their text thread is a string of blue desperation, just one text a day. Nothing happened— to Daniel’s knowledge— to elicit the lack of contact.
Daniel didn’t sleep much on his flight back to Monte Carlo. He was drowning in his past race data and his anxieties over Ana kept his mind busy. Over the fifteen hours worth of traveling, the Aussie only got two hours of real peaceful sleep. He was absolutely dead when he touched down in Monte Carlo. Michael is grabbing his bags for him and loading them in his SUV, as he goes through his phone and clicking her text thread.
Could use some company. Not a great weekend.
Can I see you please?
“Home?” Michael asks.
Daniel looks down at his phone, heartbeat picking up as he sees the three dots appear on his screen. But it goes as quickly as it comes and there is still no response.
He sighs. “Home.”
His apartment is stuffy, eerily quiet as he walks in and drops his duffle by the couch. The exhaustion of traveling is finally catching up to him. His legs feel heavy, eyes burning as sleep threatens to drape over him. Daniel lays in bed for all of two seconds before his text tone goes off.
I’m on my way.
Daniel smiles tiredly, forcing himself up to lean on his headboard. He types a quick reply for her to let herself in and that he’s already in bed. He does his best to fight the sleep threatening to take him, determined to see his favorite person before slipping into a deep slumber. But his eyes burn and his body is heavy. It grows harder and harder to stay awake with each passing minute. Fifteen minutes feels like eternity.
He barely registers the front door opening, or her soft footsteps padding closer and closer to his bedroom door. It’s as if his head is attached to a fifty pound weight as he lifts it to look up Ana. There is a soft, almost sympathetic smile on her face as she stands in the doorway.
“Oh Danny.”
He tries to smile, Ana can see the effort he puts in to curve his lips upward. His hair is a mess, eyes glossy with exhaustion, and yet he sits in bed trying to show her how happy he is to see her.
“You came.”
“Of course I did. Now go to sleep, we can catch up in the morning.”
The tired boy pouts, eyes already shut. “Stay.”
Ana doesn’t think twice. She closes the bedroom door softly, and kicks off her shoes before climbing into bed with Daniel. He sinks back down to his pillow, arm lazily slung over her torso as he slips into a deep slumber. Ana curls into his embrace, fingers reaching out to twirl the frayed curls. Her hands wander, pressing gently against his scalp as the boy snores softly. She can’t help the smile on her face at the look of peace on his sleeping face. Daniel’s strong features are softened in the sweet moonlight.
He looks beautiful, she thinks.
Daniel wakes up late the next day, head pounding and eyes trying to adjust to the sunlight pouring in through his bedroom window. He groans softly, burying his face in the plush pillow. He reaches over, his hand landing flat against his sheets. His head jolts up, eyes searching the room for dark brown locks and a pretty face.
And as if the universe saw his disarray, it sends Ana strolling in with two mugs in hand. Daniel’s speeding heart slows, and he drops his head back on his pillow.
“Morning. How ya feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a truck.” His voice is muffled against the pillow.
“Sleeping twelve hours will do that to ya,” Ana chuckles, sitting on the bed and placing her mug on the nightstand. “Get up, drink your coffee before it gets cold.”
Daniel groans softly before forcing himself up. He takes the cup from her outstretched hands, muttering a thanks before sipping. The bittersweet beverage slowly pulls him from his tired state, the taste comforting. He leans over, placing his mug next to her own.
“You stayed.”
“Of course I did. I want to hear all about Australia and the Grand Prix.” Anahí nibbles on her bottom lip, “And to apologize for disappearing on you during an important weekend. I was dealing with some work stuff and I… yeah I’m sorry.”
Daniel nods, “I get it. It was really nice to be home, but it wasn’t the race I was hoping it would be.”
He dives into the nitty gritty of the weekend behind him. He reiterates the details, the feelings of Friday through Sunday. Ana listens intently, legs criss-cross and her chin resting in her right hand. She doesn’t say a word, just looking at him and giving him the undivided attention he so desperately craves and deserves.
“But yeah…” Daniel sips his coffee before rolling onto his back. “Yeah I just want to forget the weekend happened the way it did. Put the whole thing behind me.”
Ana sighs, straightening her posture. “Sounds fucking crazy. But I watched Sunday, you did amazing considering everything else. I might be a dud when it comes to the numbers and the technical stuff, but still. I’m proud of you. I know home is proud of you too. P6 is nothing to be so down about. It’s only up from here Danny.” She ruffles his curls and he smiles.
She uttered words that his entire team had been reiterating all weekend. He didn’t believe anyone when they said he did great, didn’t think that he did enough. But the words rolling off Ana’s tongue felt real, felt more comforting. If she says that he did great, that his efforts were enough, then it must be true.
“Thanks angel. Now, tell me about your weekend. Missed you in the garage.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Ana looks away, eyes trained on the gray duvet below her. “Everything alright?”
There is a beat of silence as Ana fiddles with the hem of her t-shirt. She can feel Daniel’s gaze on her, waiting for her answer. Truthfully, everything isn’t alright. Nothing has felt remotely alright for a while, but she isn’t sure if she had the courage to voice that. Ana finally looks up, looking straight at Daniel who stares at her quizzically. His hair is a mess, eyes soft, and head tilted in curiosity.
“Daniel, I’m moving to Montana.”
His ears start ringing, the world around him seems to slow to a halt. Daniel sits up, hair standing in different directions and his honey eyes in a panic.
“When?”
“Three months.”
“But why?”
Ana looks at him, really looks at him. Her heart comes up her throat as she notes Dan’s furrowed brow and obvious frown. He looks like a lost boy, like she just took away his favorite toy. Moving away has always been in the back of her mind, it was the potential answer to all her troubles but also an answer she wasn’t always comfortable with. And sitting here, with Daniel waiting for her to explain, is exactly why she tried to avoid it all together.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, lots of reflection of my time here in Monaco. I feel like maybe it’s time for a change, that maybe it would be better for me out there to be in a much more quiet and simple place. Maybe… maybe I’ll be happier.”
Daniel frowns even more, “You’re unhappy?”
Anahí shrugs, “Yeah kind of. I haven’t felt much like myself in a while Daniel. I feel sort of…” She trails off, throat closing up. Daniel can see her eyes glossing over with tears and can hear the strain in her stammering. “I just feel lost. I feel like I’m stuck in a bubble floating away watching as everyone moves on with their life.”
Daniel isn’t someone you could walk away from, isn’t the kind of person you can simply say goodbye to without some serious contemplation. Saying goodbye to the only good thing in her life isn’t something she came to terms with easily. Daniel has always been there for her even if he’s far away. But it’s come to the point that their connection scares her. She fears she’s become too dependent on him, and that her happiness is determined by his availability. It isn’t fair to either of them. Daniel didn’t need to carry Ana’s baggage, and Ana couldn’t sit in Monaco and wait for him to be available to do so. She needed to make moves for herself, for her happiness.
Tears fall onto her cheeks even as she tries to smile through her sadness. It breaks Daniel’s heart. He reaches over, pulling her against him as she begins to cry softly. His hand rubs her back soothingly, lips pressing a kiss at the top of her head. “I’m sorry.”
He could’ve called more. He should’ve called more. He should’ve flown her out more. He should’ve he should’ve he fucking should’ve.
“Don’t be.” She blubbers, “You couldn’t have known.” Ana pulls away from his embrace, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand in an attempt to look more composed. The bags under eyes are bright red, matching the tip of her nose. Daniel reaches over, hand cupping her face as his thumb swipes the streak of wet on her cheek.
“But I should’ve Ana. What kind of best friend have I been?”
“Oh Dan,” Her hand comes up to hold his. “You are a busy man Mr. Ricciardo. I don’t expect you to drive the car and keep track of me.”
“I know but–”
“But nothing, Danny. You’ve been great, the best. I think I would be a lot worse if it weren’t for you.” Anahí chuckles, patting his hand as he releases her.
They sit there, the thick air thinning out. Daniel looks her up and down, taking mental pictures of the moment. He memorizes the way her hair falls over her chest, her flushed cheeks, and wide eyes. He looks at the time. 3:47 pm. The sun was behind her, shining through his window and providing her with a glow. Like an angel. His angel.
“I don’t want you to go.” Daniel confesses. “And that might be selfish of me… and it’s not me saying that you shouldn’t I just… I had to say it.”
Ana smiles that same old sad smile, almost as if she pitied him. “Daniel…”
“You’re not gonna be ten minutes down the road from me. No more spontaneous walks in the park or sleepovers. You’re gonna be half a world away.”
Tears well up in Ana’s eyes. “I have three months left here.”
“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt now.”
It’s quiet again. The news of her departure looms above them, and they both wish she never said it. If she never said it out loud, then maybe it wouldn’t be real. Except that no matter how long she waited to tell him, it wouldn’t negate the fact that she would be moving away in due time. It won’t delay the inevitable goodbye and heartache. Parting ways is now in their cards, and Daniel couldn’t be sadder about it.
Ana leaves not too long after, allowing Daniel to try and get his routine together. The sun coats the room orange when she walks out the door. Her hug goodbye is tight, warm, accompanied by the soft promises that they would hang out soon. As soon as the door shuts, this feeling of emptiness settles in his chest. He feels his heart is breaking, and there isn’t a damn thing either of them could do about it.
Selfish thoughts creep into his mind. He could’ve put up more of a fight. He could’ve convinced her otherwise, convinced her that being this close to him is the only solution. What if he poured his heart out, confessing things he only thinks about? What if he told her that she makes his heart soar, that he’s never felt more at home than with her? Daniel can’t help but regret not saying all the gentle and honest confessions, but he also knew that it would be fucked up. It would be him trapping her, because he can’t say goodbye. He was everywhere while she was here, and Daniel didn’t have the heart to beg her to stay. How could he? He traveled the world 9 months of the year. He quite literally moves a hundred miles an hour, how could he ask her to just stay put?
And to that, why would he? Who is he to pine and beg and demand that she stay? He isn’t her lover, they’re not dating, hell he isn’t even fucking her. That she be available to him while he’s in Monaco and to wait patiently while he’s away? He’s only her friend, her best friend, and he needs to be supportive. He needs to show her that he’s on her side. Because he is. She trusts him, and Daniel will be damned if he breaks that.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Two months seems to have flown past Daniel without him realizing it. Time is cruel, and he wishes he could just stop the clock so he can spend one moment longer with Ana.
They saw each other every chance they got. Whether that means she would fly out to watch him race or they’d take another stroll in the park in Monaco, the two were practically attached at the hip. And in the nearly sixty days, Daniel has one hundred and ten percent fallen irrevocably in love with Anahí. If he didn’t know it then, he sure as hell knows it now.
The last time he saw Ana was in between Baku and Canada. Daniel really should’ve been flying straight to Canada from Baku, but he wanted to stop at Monaco to see her. He spent 8 hours, touchdown to take off, sitting with her in her apartment as she packed her life away. He tried to help, much to her refusal. In the end, he moves boxes out of the way so that she still has space to move as she counts down the days before she leaves. They laid in the empty living room, the hardwood cool on their clammy skin.
“I have a question,” Daniel posed, turning his head to look over at her. Ana does the same, smiling at him.
“I might have an answer.”
Daniel remembers the feeling of his heart in his throat, the butterflies furiously fluttering in his gut. “A friend of mine is getting married, and I was wondering if you would be my date?”
The second between his question and her answer felt like an eternity. Daniel wanted to throw up. But then she smiles. The smile was wild, ear to ear with her tongue peeking between her pearly white teeth.
“I’d be honored.”
And that’s how Daniel finds himself in a sleek black Porsche Cayenne, driving the both of them from the airport to their hotel. The wedding is in Valencia, Spain, both in fairly unfamiliar territory. The drive is quiet but short, and it isn’t long until they arrive at their hotel. Daniel hands Ana the paperwork for their room reservation as he lugs the luggage along. Their room is a standard one with two full size beds. It’s spacious, with a view of the resort pool and the coast line behind it.
The first day is fairly mundane, neither of them choosing to get ready until just about an hour until the rehearsal dinner. Daniel chooses to wear gray trousers and a white long sleeve button up. He rolls the sleeves up to his elbows and undoes the top two buttons.
“Hey Ana, you ready?” He calls out, tousling with his curls in the mirror.
“Yeah, just about. Just need help with my necklace.”
Daniel’s breath gets caught in his throat as he watches her walk out of the bathroom. She is in a rose colored dress, with a cowl neckline and the hem falling just below her knees. It hugged her every curve, and complimented her skin beautifully. Ana looks up at Daniel through the mirror, completely naive to the way he is looking at her. She holds up her necklace, and it snaps him out of his daydream of her. He chuckles, trying to play off that he was practically drooling over her. They switch places, Daniel standing behind her in front of the mirror as he lays the pearl necklace on her skin. His nimble fingers figure out the clasp quickly, and he can’t help but let them wander on the expanse of her back. He can hear her breath hitch, goosebumps rising on her skin.
“You look beautiful, angel.” Daniel whispers, taking a step back as he admires her.
Ana’s cheeks tinge red, turning to face Daniel. “Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.”
“C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”
Rehearsal dinner is on the property, on the beach. There is a long banquet table, beautifully decorated with elaborate flower arrangements and fancy silverware. Daniel and Ana find their place on the table, smack dab in the middle right across from each other. Dinner was to die for, and the wine was impeccable. They didn’t talk as much, both too distracted socializing with the small group of people closest to them.
The sound of silverware tapping against the glass sends a wave of silence over the table. All eyes are cast on the groom, Adam, and the bride Rachel. They look stunning, standing at the head of the table. Adam looks down at the love of his life as she begins to speak, saying a round of thank yous. He looks at her the way Daniel feels about Anahí, and it makes him smile.
“Everything that Rachel said.” Adam chuckles as his wife-to-be encourages him to speak. “No um… It means a lot to celebrate this love with all of you. In less than twenty-four hours I get to say I do.”
Daniel watches Ana’s reaction, the way she looks up at the couple with adoration and awe. Her eyes twinkle, smile wide, and Daniel seems to fall for her even more.
“I’ll save all the sappy stuff for tomorrow,” The groom says, holding up his glass of white wine. “But a toast. A toast to my girl, a toast to forever, and a toast that you all will find a love as great as ours. Cheers!”
A chorus of cheers are loud, everyone raising their glass before clinking with others. Daniel reaches his glass over the table and Anahí meets him halfway.
Clink. “To everything he said,” Daniel chuckles, winking her way.
“To everything he said.” She smiles.
Everyone turns in early for the night. Daniel feels a slight buzz from the wine, his giggly and touchy state giving him away. The pair couldn’t return to their hotel room without laughter and Daniel poking her. To onlookers, they look like a couple completely and utterly smitten with the other. But the assumption couldn’t have been more incorrect. The reality is that a boy loves a girl, and the girl has no fucking clue.
Ana sits on her bed, watching as Daniel kicks off his shoes and rolls onto his bed. His shirt is wrinkled, untucked, staying closed with the grace of two buttons. She can see his toned, tan chest peeking from under the white material. Her cheeks are suddenly warm, and she turns away. She silently retreats to the bathroom to get ready for bed and effectively from Daniel. When she returns, Daniel is fast asleep with his trousers and button up on the floor next to his bed. She picks up after him before getting into her own bed, folding the clothes messily and placing them on his luggage. She shuts off the light, the room engulfed in darkness. It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust, but it isn’t long until she is able to trace his strong features with his gaze. He snores softly across from her, curls messily sprawled on his forehead. Her heart seems to follow the cadence of his breathing as she sinks deeper and deeper into her thoughts.
The idea of saying goodbye to this type of peace scares her, and she can’t help the tears already springing in her eyes. She misses him already. There is a tightness that grows in her chest, and soon she is crying softly in her bed. Not nearly as quiet as she thought, however. She isn’t sure when and how but Daniel tiredly rolls in right next to her, arms pulling her close to him as he shushes her gently. He doesn’t say anything, just allows her to cry softly until they both fall asleep. There were so many unspoken thoughts, both too afraid to admit to the obvious.
The next morning, it’s as if it never happened. They wake up just after ten, wrapped up in the other, like it was the most natural thing in the world. But it wasn’t. Friends don’t hold each other the way they do, or look at the other as they are. Daniel pushes her hair away from her face, delicately as if she’d break.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks, his thumb gently caressing her cheek as he holds her face.
She shakes her head. “No. I just wanna lay here for five more minutes if that's okay.”
He whispers okay, and she nuzzles her face into his bare chest. Daniel’s fingers weave their way through her hair, fingertips massaging her scalp tenderly. He’d give her all the time in the world, all she had to do was ask.
True to her word, they only lay like that for five minutes before they’re both forced to get up and begin their day. The wedding isn’t for another couple of hours, but there is still a lot to do between now and then. They order a room service breakfast, Daniel throwing on a movie to pass the time as they eat. They watch the Parent Trap in full before they finally begin to get ready.
Daniel slips on black trousers and an emerald green button up, making sure to button it all the way up. He slips on his white sneakers before tapping on the bathroom door. “Hey, sorry. I need my gel for my curls when you're done.”
The door is pulled open, and once again Daniel is at a loss of words. Just as she did the day before, she knocks the wind out of his lungs. She is in a strapless, floor length dress in emerald green to match him. The top half is tight, hugging her body until it drops just at the top of her thigh. Her left thigh pokes out of the slit, taunting Daniel. She looks glorious, down right fucking gorgeous and Daniel didn’t know what to do with himself.
“You look beautiful,” Daniel admits, smiling widely.
“Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She winks, stepping aside. “I’m about done, just lipstick. But you can come in.”
He nods, moving over to his side of the bathroom. Daniel makes quick work of his curls, twirling them around his index finger until they look more put together. Ana watches him through the mirror, admiring the way he concentrates on his hair. His tongue peeks out between his lips as his eyes concentrate on the curls framing his face. He shakes his head lightly, groaning softly. Without asking, Ana moves over to help. She steps between the counter and him, fingers splitting and tousling with his hair. He doesn’t look at her, instead choosing to watch his reflection.
“Good?” She asks softly, hands retreating from his face. A smile grows on his face, nodding. “Good.” She confirms, smiling back.
Daniel looks at his watch, “Alright, lipstick then we gotta go to the chapel.”
Anahí nods, holding up two tubes. “Pick.” Daniel taps one, and Ana opens the tube to reveal a striking red. The boy’s throat runs dry, watching as she paints her lip the vibrant color. “Alright,” she muses, “Ready.”
Ana walks out of the bathroom, leaving Daniel behind as he stands there still mesmerized by her and the red lacquer painted on her lips. His imagination runs wild, and it isn’t until she is clearing her throat does Daniel finally move. He offers her his arm, which she gladly takes as they make their way down and to the car. The drive to the chapel is only ten minutes, and the parking lot is half full by the time they arrive. The chapel is buzzing with quiet conversation, all along the lines of how the day is finally here and how excited they all are. Daniel and Ana sit in the middle of the space, right by the aisle.
Not a dry eye in the room. It’s how every wedding ceremony seems to go, and this is no exception.
“Rachel,” Adam begins, “There were a million and one things that I wanted to say. A million and one things I wanted to write. But all one million and one things come back to the same conclusion, and it’s that I love you. That at the end of all this, when the sun sets, and the world goes to sleep, I will always love you. I promise that in all that I do, that it is in your best interest. That I will love you through all circumstances, love you as you grow with and beyond me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Rach. And I refuse to believe that there is a version of me without you. If there’s something I’m most sure of in this life, it’s that you were always meant to be in it. I love you Rachel. I can’t wait for the rest of forever with you.”
Daniel can feel Ana’s head resting on his shoulder and hear her soft sniffles as the priest carries on with the ceremony. Adam’s words settle in Daniel’s heart, making a home there with all his thoughts of the woman next to him. He looks down at the woman who rests on him, her eyes focused on the couple in front of them. The whole room seems to focus on the couple prevailing their love in front of the whole world, except Daniel. All Daniel can think of is her. If there’s something I’m most sure of in this life, it’s that you were always meant to be in it.
The same words play over and over in Anahí’s head. And as her head rests on his shoulder, she feels like she’s where she’s meant to be. Through all the heartache and tears, the late nights and strolls in the park, she finally feels like she belongs. There is a feeling of safety, of home. That very moment, with her head on his shoulder, felt more natural than anything in the world.
The room erupting in cheers tears the both of them away from their thoughts, and his eyes look up to see the couple securing forever with a kiss. Daniel jumps to his feet to join the rest of the room, cheering loudly for the newlyweds. Screams and applause are heard from every corner as the crowd watches the couple walk to the end of the aisle. The two look up at each other, smiles as wide as the Cheshire cat.
The reception is as grand as the ceremony. Decorated with flowers and pompas, the lights are dim and romantic. The setting is just right to fall in love. Dinner is served, and not without alcohol. It isn’t long until both Daniel and Ana are elbow deep in cocktails, a laughing mess as they talk about what friends talk about. They’re surrounded by friends, by people who love the couple as much as they do, but they don’t seem to matter. In a room meant to be in adoration of newly weds, Daniel was only in awe of her. He’s captivated by her flushed cheeks, long lashes, and plump red lips. He’s smitten with the way her hand feels against him, how her touch seems to linger more than necessary.
The lights dim even further, the room nearly pink from the lights. The emcee encourages the crowd to join the couple in a slow dance.
“Anahí, will you do me the honor of dancing with me tonight?”
Daniel holds out his hand, a goofy grin on his face as he awaits her response.
“I’d be delighted.”
Someday, when I'm awfully lowWhen the world is coldI will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight
The Way You Look Tonight plays softly on the speaker as Daniel’s hands rest comfortably on the small of her back as hers are draped over his shoulders, fingers intertwined behind his neck. He sways her left and right, following the slow cadence of the song. Even in his tipsy stupor, he seems to move her just right, slow and sweet.
Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me but to love you
And the way you look tonight
The whole room dissolves. It’s just them and the soft music. No one mattered, not even the couple being celebrated. Daniel looks at Anahí, who looks up at him with such fondness and warmth. She looks up at him the way he feels about her.
“What are you thinking of?” Daniel asks, hands squeezing her sides comfortingly.
With each word your tenderness grows
Tearin' my fear apart
“I’m just so happy.” Ana admits, “I’m happy.”
“The booze?” Daniel teases, but Ana shakes her head with a small laugh.
And that laugh wrinkles your nose
Touches my foolish heart
“No, more than that. I’m just happy Dan, I really am. The happiest I’ve been.”
His hands slide from her hips to her hands, gently raising one of her arms to spin her around. Lovely, never, never change… keep that breathless charm. Daniel pulls her back against him, her hands pressed against his chest as he sways her again.
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you. Daniel rests his forehead against hers, humming softly. Just the way you look tonight.
“I’m happy too, angel.”
The moment is too perfect to pass, and so Daniel does what he’s always dreamed of. There is a burst of confidence, and he doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol in his system or the fact that it simply felt right. So he kisses her.
Her lips are slow, soft against his. His hands grip her tighter as his lips mold onto hers lovingly. His heart is beating hard against his ribs, he swears she can feel it. Ana’s fingers are at the back of his head, pulling him even closer. There is a bit of desperation between the two, the need to be close and to be completely wrapped up in the other. Daniel is the first to pull back, breathing deeply as he searches Ana’s eyes for any sign of regret.
But she just stares back at him with fire in her eyes, and Daniel can feel the blood rushing to his groin. Ana cups his face, thumb swiping over her lips to remove the red residue.
“Take me home.”
Daniel didn’t need to be told twice as he practically drags the girl out of the crowd. They pile into the back of a taxi, hands unable to release the other as they kiss feverishly. This kiss is different from the first one. It’s needier, much more desperate, with teeth clashing and hands grabbing. She was halfway on top of him, with her leg slung over his lap and his hands gripping her ass. The driver taps on Daniel’s leg at the end of their drive, trying to signal them that they’ve arrived at their destination. Daniel hands him more than enough for the fare and tip, not bothering to take the change as the two stumble to the elevator. They’re laughing and stumbling, hands grasping for the other. And as the elevator door closes, her lips are back on his own.
The elevator dings just three floors short of theirs, and Ana quickly steps away from the kiss. She stands next to him as another couple joins them. As natural as they tried to act, it was clearly obvious what the two were up to. Red lipstick is smeared on Daniel’s face and neck, and Anahí’s lip line is no longer crisp. But they didn’t care. Daniel grins over at Ana, who smiles in return.
The elevator finally makes it to their floor, and the two are quick to make it to the room. Ana attaches her lips to Daniel as soon as he shuts the door, her fingers quickly undoing the buttons of his shirt. He guides her all the way to the bed, just stopping at the foot of it. Daniel cups her face, pulling away from the kiss.
“Ana, are you sure?”
They both pant, staring deep into each other's eyes. Daniel looks again, searching for any sign of hesitation. He looked for a reason to stop. But Ana’s fingers never stopped undoing the buttons on his shirt, pulling it from the waistband of his pants before pushing it off his shoulders. She looks down at his toned torso, fingers tracing the dips and tops of his muscles. Her fingers move to hook around the belt loop of his pants, but Daniel grabs her wrist to stop her.
“Ana,” Daniel strains, dipping his head to meet her eyes.
“Yes Daniel. I’m sure.”
He doesn’t wait any longer, kissing her like his life depends on it. His fingers pull on the zipper of her dress, listening as the fabric drops to the floor. He lays her down gently, lips moving along her jaw and down her neck. Her soft moans and whimpers are music to Daniel’s ears, and he craves to hear them more. He looks up at her, admiring the way her eyes are closed and lips agape as she soaks in his touch. Slowly, he pulls her underwear down her soft legs, but not without leaving kisses in its path.
Anahí savors the feeling of his soft lips on the innermost part of her thigh, the way his stubble pokes at her skin softly. Anticipation builds in the pit of her stomach as he kisses closer and closer. But then he stops. She lifts her head, looking as Daniel stares at her center with a small smirk.
“Pretty fucking pussy.”
She moans at his compliment, biting down on her bottom lip. Daniel runs his middle and ring finger through her folds, honey brown eyes meeting hers as he plunges them into her. Her breath hitches in her throat, head falling back onto the bed as he pumps his fingers slowly. He wants to tease her, to pull her closer and closer to the edge but never let her finish. He wants to see her melt in his hands. But that’s all in due time.
For now he wants to love her. To make her feel good. Tonight, it’s all about her.
His lips wrap around the bundle of nerves, sucking softly before allowing his tongue to trace figure-eights all along it. Ana’s moans grow louder and louder, her fingers finding their way to his curls. He groans softly at her soft grip, the gentle tugging as if to beg him for more. He obliges, eating her out like it was her last meal. The sound of his tongue against her and fingers fucking her sound obscene, but they make Ana yearn for more.
There’s a bubble growing in the pit of her stomach, growing larger and larger as Daniel adds urgency to his movements. Her pussy clenches around his digits, letting him know she’s close. He pulls away briefly.
“Look at me angel, keep your eyes on me.”
Her eyes pop open, watching as Daniel places his lips back on her core. Daniel’s free hand reaches up to grab her breast, massaging and playing with her. Her eyes focus on the rose, how pretty it looks against her. His tongue is back against her clit, lips sucking and nibbling softly. She pants as the bubble continues to grow, her release right there. There’s something attractive, something downright sinful, about the way Daniel looks between her legs. His hair in disarray thanks to her, with his eyes boring into hers as he pulls her closer to an orgasm. The sight alone is enough to have her dripping.
He hums against her, “C’mon angel.”
Between his tongue and fingers, she finally succumbs to it all. Her legs squeeze Daniel’s head as he laps up her release, milking her until she’s done and begging for him to stop.
Daniel releases her, chin glistening with her slick as he climbs back up to kiss her. She moans softly against him, hands trailing down from her face to his chest, gently pushing her up. Daniel kneels above her, knees on either side of her. He looks angelic, hair standing and features soft as he looks down upon her. Ana sits up, her fingers undoing his belt and pants, pulling it just under his bum. She kisses his cock over his underwear before palming him softly. She watches as he throws his head back, enjoying the feeling of her gentle touches on the most sensitive part of his body.
Ana doesn’t spend too much time teasing him. She pulls his boxers down his legs, watching as his cock springs up. She looks up at him through her lashes, fingers wrapping around his shaft to pump him softly. Daniel’s eyes meet hers, enamored by the innocence on her face contrasting her sinful movements. With doe eyes, she leans forward and takes him into her mouth. She never stops looking into his honey eyes as she bobs her head, taking more of him until he hits the back of her throat. Moans bubble up from his throat as she sucks him off, harder and harder. He cups her chin, pulling his cock out of her mouth. She looks up at him, confused. Her lips are glistening with spit, red lipstick smeared everywhere.
He could’ve cum right then and there.
Daniel climbs off her, pulling his pants and underwear down to his ankles before stepping out of them. He takes his place back between her legs, lips attaching to hers in desperation. He kisses her, hard. He pours his heart into the kiss. Every thought, every wish, every feeling he’s ever felt is poured into that one kiss.
“Daniel,” She breathes, “Please.”
“Please what, angel?” Daniel mumbles, kissing her neck softly.
“Fuck me.” Daniel moans against her skin, breathing hard, “Please Daniel.”
He gives in to her begging, hands wrapping around her shaft as he rubs the head of his cock against her wet center before finally pushing into her. Ana’s moans are loud, high pitched, and needy. Daniel watches the pleasure washing over her face with every stroke, her chest rising and falling. He leans down to kiss her again, his hips never stopping. She feels every inch of him, the way it fills her up and sends pulses of pleasure through her body.
“You were made for me.” He confesses, hips moving faster against her own.
“All for you.” She confirms, fingers between his curls.
He fucks her nice and sweet, pulling her all the way to her orgasm. He fucks her until she is shaking beneath him, his name rolling off her tongue in desperate cries. Her pussy pulsates around him, hugging him tightly until he releases into her.
The moments after are soft, gentle. Daniel kisses her so softly, so lovingly. He holds her tenderly, looking down at her tired state. Her head is on his chest, arm slung over his torso. Daniel presses a kiss onto her forehead before finally falling asleep.
Unbeknownst to him, Anahí is wide awake, the feeling of bliss and completeness beginning to wear off. Daniel is sound asleep beneath her, but his soft breathing isn’t enough to calm her down. It’s far too real now, everything between her and Dan. For the longest time they teetered on the line of friendship and something more and now it’s real. It sends her into a panic.
Just because it’s real, doesn’t mean that it changes anything. It doesn’t change that she leaves in a month. In less than thirty days, she has to say goodbye. She will no longer say goodbye to her best friend, but to someone more. She cries softly, removing herself from Daniel’s embrace. He doesn’t stir, not like the night before. He’s still asleep, dreaming of happier things. Happier than the things she was about to do.
She pulls herself together, packing her things slowly and quietly as Daniel sleeps soundly. And when all is said and done, she looks down at the boy sleeping in her bed. She pushes the curls from his forehead, pressing one kiss on the skin before leaving and never looking back.
Daniel wakes up that morning, memories of the night before slowly coming back to him. He smiles to himself. But the happiness leaves as soon as it comes. It doesn’t take long for him to notice that she’s gone. All her belongings, every piece of her is gone. It sends Daniel into a panic, fingers quick to tap her name and call her. But Anahí doesn’t answer.
Anahí never answered any of his calls. He called once every day, but he would always be greeted by her voicemail. Daniel scoured his memory for the moment it went wrong, for any mistake he might’ve made. The best weekend of his life turned out to be the worst. After flying back from Spain, he immediately went into work mode. He did everything in his power to distract himself from his aching heart, to hide how hurt he was by her disappearance. And it showed in his work. His results in Silverstone and Austria were poor, and he struggled to prove to the world that he was still worthy of the sport.
Daniel arrives back in Monte Carlo after a shabby P9 in Austria. His apartment is empty, eerily quiet. He flops onto his couch, lowering his pride once more when he taps her name. He rings, waiting for her stupid voicemail to greet him. But it never comes.
“Hello?”
The sound of her voice has Daniel shooting up, throat running dry. There’s an uncomfortable silence on the line before the Australian finally musters up the courage to speak.
“H-hi.”
“Hi.”
Silence again. Daniel hated this. He hates the discomfort, the feeling of not being able to be open and honest with the one person that mattered. He’s walking on eggshells, trying to carefully craft his next word.
The first couple of days after Anahí had left, he was angry. He was so upset with her for not saying goodbye, no half-ass excuse for why she left him. He was upset at himself, for potentially fucking up the only good thing that has happened to him in a while. And as time withered by, his anger turned to sadness and confusion. Daniel often pondered their final night together, replaying all the moments of completeness and intimacy, trying to find the second it all went wrong. He imagined her face beneath him, the way her lips felt against her own, just trying to remember if there was a change at all.
“Dan-”
“Why’d you do it? Why’d you leave?”
“Daniel, I don't want to talk about this over the phone.”
“Then I’ll come over… or meet you in the park.” There is a deafening silence at the end of the line. “Ana?”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t or you won’t?” Daniel snaps.
“I can’t.” Ana insists, “I’m… I’m in Montana.”
There is a little pot of anger sitting at the base of his being, every word she says igniting the flame bigger and bigger. He feels himself beginning to boil over.
“You left?”
Daniel leans back against the couch, chest heaving as he tries to contain his emotions. Everything he felt in the last three weeks swirls inside of him. It makes him sick. He can’t seem to focus on one thing, and can slowly feel himself slipping from his self-control.
“I… I needed to. Daniel, you knew this.”
“Yeah but you didn’t bother to say bye? No half ass text to let me know?”
“I don’t have to keep you updated on my every move.” Ana argues.
“No, but after the night we shared I would hope you would have the courtesy to anyway.”
Daniel feels insane. He feels like every single emotion he’s feeling is misplaced. The world around him slows to a halt, and not in a good way. For a moment he is frozen in his despair, time and space keep him in a place of self-loathing and loneliness. For just a moment, the world keeps him miserable.
“What did I do wrong?” Daniel whispers, “Just tell me how I can fix it.”
“There’s nothing to fix.”
“Nothing?!” Daniel yells into the phone. “Nothing Anahí? Are you being fucking serious?”
“Daniel what’s done is done, and there isn’t anything you or I can do to change it. The damage has been done.”
“Damage?” Daniel scoffs, “That’s what that night was, damaging? Ruined you, did it?” The line is quiet at the other end and Daniel shakes his head. “That night was more than that to me Ana. It was more than nothing.”
The Australian can’t see the tears streaming down Anahí’s face, the way her body shakes as she cries silently, unable to say the words Daniel longed to hear. Unable to give him everything he wanted.
“You know what I think it is Anahí?” Daniel begins again, “I think that you’re afraid. That you’re afraid to trust me, to open yourself up to me completely. I think that you’re afraid to admit that you like me, maybe even love me.”
“Daniel-”
“Because I love you. I do. I tried to show you how much I do and yet… you walk out on me. You fed my ego because it benefited you. You kept me in, made me believe that I had a chance, that maybe you feel the same way I do. But then you get what you want and leave me to pick up the pieces. I’m in love with you Ana, you had to have known. You couldn’t have been so fucking naive and not have seen that.”
Another deafening silence. There it is, out in the open. Three words slipped from Daniel’s lips in a fit of anger. His words are laced with spite, venomous as they travel from one end of the line to the other.
“Daniel,” She chokes, “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too Ana.” He can hear her soft cries this time, each sniffle and sob picking apart at his heart. But the anger inside him consumes him. “I’m so sorry for wanting more. For expecting more. For wishing for more.”
“Daniel I-”
“I have to go.” Daniel cuts her off. “I hope that Montana treats you well. And that… that maybe you’ll find someone worth sticking around for. Bye Ana.”
He hangs up before he can listen to any more of her pleas. He drops his phone next to him, hands returning to his face as he cries softly. His heart falls apart, shatters beneath his ribs.
Pathetic. He feels downright, fucking pathetic.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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