#but also SO SAD BC I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM AGAIN :((((
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#dw spoilers#ok you all did an absolutely wonderful job of giffing everything from the trailer#but now i would also like to contribute!!!!!#THE WAY.... THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER...... ;A;#these three specials are going to make me so happy#but also SO SAD BC I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM AGAIN :((((
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it's my last day of work tomorrow... i'm happy and relieved but also sad and terrified
#sad bc of the friends i'm leaving and terrified bc i absolutely need to find a job this month and it's not going well#also so stressed abt tomorrow... there's so many things i need to do before i leave#and i'm training the new girl and there's really not enough time to teach her even the most necessary things...#today i brought cake and food to say goodbye to my favorite department#and they surprised me with flowers and a goodbye gift??? they got me really pretty earrings#and they all gathered to thank me for these past months and i started crying before the manager finished the first sentence lmaooo#and i'm probably going to cry tomorrow too#i will miss them so much. i'm not even from their department but we got so close#i just started crying again agkdfjdfjd i'm a bit overwhelmed#like i said i'm terrified that i don't have a new job yet but at the same time i really need some time to rest. both physically and mentally#goddd i really hope i can secure a job soon and just chill for the rest of the month.....#k.txt
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being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃
#she said she wanted me not to feel bad and be in a bad situation#but im p sure she did it bc my supervisor was up in the office talking shit ant me again this morning#she was acting all nice but 🤨#she's not nice soooo#also she didn't even follow up when i mentioned safety concerns for the kids when she asked why i was leaving#and she didn't ask me to stay#she did seem sympathetic but idk my co teacher thinks it was a favor to our supervisor to keep her happy#bc thry still think she walks on water#im so worried for the kids but it should be less stressful in t2#also the teacher i swapped with today saw me two hours later and she was like: girl i get it 💀💀💀#lmao#so sad for the kids tho#but excited abt new opportunities#but i did want to have the time to say goodbye to the kids#its probably better to transition them this way bc they'll still see me a little bit the last week but not all day#and get used to me not always being there#so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after 😭#but they were crying at thebgate between the playgrounds today and it was really hard#i was holding finn's hand over the gate 🥺#then we combined classes for the end of the day on the playground and that was like 10 minutes before i went home#so they got happy for a bit then broke down again when i said goodbye 😭#teddy was screaming at the door the whole time after i left 😭#i watched thru the classroom window while the other teachers were consoling them and it was so sad 💔#i've only had one cry when i went home before but this time it was half of them#bc they barely saw me all day then i left as soon as they thought i was going to stay#anyway#i have a job interview tomorrow and surgery#and maybe a second job interview#trying to focus on that rn#still glad i'm quitting but 💔
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school's out !!:D
#i cried at work today bc im leaving my school to do teacher training#and my line manager - even tho i have only been there for 4 months - gave me a big bunch of flowers and got all emotional bc#apparently he's so sad they couldn't offer me teacher training and is so greatful for how i tutored a student and got them to take their#final exams when they wouldn't have shown up for any otherwise and i just T-T saying goodbye to the students knowing i won't#see them again next year also got me a bit tearful lmao#i wish i could have stayed!! i loved it there but im v excited to train at my new school as well :')
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I would LOVE a part two of the birthday drabble if ur open to that? maybe how max tries to ask for reader’s forgiveness? maybe asking Charles for help but he’s just like “no u gotta figure it out on ur own this time buddy” bc he’s mad at him too?
PART ONE. Max totally blanks on your birthday plans and it’s not pretty.
Max is pacing around the kitchen when you wake up the next morning. When his gaze snaps up to meet yours, you can see the bags under his eyes. You think about reaching for him when you remember what happened, so, you simply walk past him to make some coffee.
“Good morning, schat.” He whispers, looking down. You’re still very much hurt but seeing him like this breaks your heart.
Maybe you’re being too mean, giving him the cold shoulder and not even meeting his eyes, but you also think about what your best friend said last night when you called her crying. He needs to sort out his priorities and give you what you deserve. And you also need to stand up for yourself, you’ve let Max get away with similar things in the past and it’s time for that to stop.
“Good morning,” Charles says as he enters the kitchen. He looks at Max but doesn’t say anything when he sees his eyes filled with tears. You’re hurt but he’s angry. “Want me to drive to your appointment?”
“Mmh.” You nod, taking your cup of coffee and going back to your room.
Charles opens the fridge and tries to look busy waiting for Max to get the fuck out of the kitchen. But that doesn’t happen and he is forced to close the door and face his boyfriend.
“Have you talked to her?” Max asks him, rubbing his hand over his face.
“Yea’,” Charles simply answers, trying to choose between an apple or banana for breakfast. You or Max are the ones always cooking because Charles just can’t do it, but you’re not in the mood to make breakfast and he’s definitely not gonna ask Max. “I’m not the one who fucked everything up.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I just—I didn’t forget, but there were—”
“I don’t fucking care, Max. It was her birthday! It was supposed to be special but instead of enjoying the one day—the only day she really asks for our attention, she cried all the way home.”
Max feels like crying again. He feels awful but doesn’t know what to do to make things better.
The Dutchman opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Charles holds his palm up, shutting him up.
“I won’t tell you what to do, you need to figure that out by yourself.”
Charles storms out of the kitchen, leaving a sad Max behind.
You don’t say goodbye when you leave but Charles, at least, tells him that they should be home by eight, to not wait for them because they will be having lunch together. He doesn’t ask Max if he wants to join.
Max doesn’t know what to do.
You’ve never been this angry before. Charles is a different story, they’ve been racing their whole lives together, so, he has seen parts of Charles you don’t even know.
Max thinks about calling his mom to ask her for advice, God, even calling his sister, but rejects the idea because he knows what they will say.
It’s all his fault. Stupid Max, stupid SimRacing—
Max gets up from the couch, he doesn’t know how much has passed since you left, but the sun is already sitting down.
When Max enters his streaming room he wants to cry again. And he does.
He cries as he disconnects everything. He cries when he smashes the camera onto the floor. He cries while throwing a chair across the room, crashing against the wall. He cries looking at the mess he made, the mess he is.
Max falls to the floor and cries, and cries, and cries, until he feels two strong arms around him and soft words spoken into his ear.
“Max, breathe with me, please,” Charles begs, caressing his back and lifting his chin up with his free hand. Max’s gaze focuses on his face as he imitates his boyfriend, inhaling and exhaling slowly. It takes some time, but Max eventually stops shaking. “Oh, Max. What did you do?” Charles sounds so broken and disappointed, Max doesn’t want him to feel like that. He’s done so much already.
Max starts crying again.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Charles wipes his tears and kisses his eyelids.
Max doesn’t deserve this.
“Hey, love.” Max turns his head around at the sound of your voice. You crouch down next to him, a soft smile dancing on your lips. “Would you drink this, please? For me?” He doesn’t need to be asked twice. You guide the glass to his lips and he drinks the water — with a little bit of sugar you always add when you’re not feeling okay.
Max wants to talk, he wants to apologize again, he wants to scream at you and Charles for being so attentive with him when he doesn’t deserve it. But he feels so tired, all he can do is lean into your touch when you cradle his face with both your hands, palms comfortable against the stubble on his cheeks.
“We’re gonna buy new things and me and Charles will help you set everything up, okay?”
Max wants to scream. Instead, he barely has the voice to say, “I don’t want any of this. I fucked up because of this stupid shit.”
“Max,” Charles calls his name, moving around so he’s sitting next to you. “You love it.”
“I love you more.” He simply says, looking between you and Charles. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…” He lets silent tears fall down his cheeks.
“I know you’re sorry.” You lean to leave a kiss on his forehead, then, you look directly into his eyes. “I’m still hurt, Max. I won’t lie. We need to have a long conversation, the three of us, but I don’t want you to quit something that you love and enjoy so much. I just,” You notice you’re crying when Max wipes the tears with his thumb. “I want to be a priority in your life.”
“And you are!” He wants to smash his head onto the floor. “God you,” He takes your hand, lips quivering. “and you,” He takes Charles’s hand then. He guides them to his chest, just where his heart is. “are the most important people in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
There’s still so much to say but, for right now, you just want to be as close as possible. You’ll have plenty of time to figure out how to go from here.
#꒰꒰ 📁 ─ verstappen cult files ꒱꒱#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen x reader#lestappen x reader#f1 imagine#poly!f1#f1 grid x reader
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/C129xgdPN0D/?igsh=eWptZ2tnMHI0ODJ1
price and soap price and soap price and soap. i’m literally foaming at the mouth. i can’t take it
IM A PUDDLE IM A MESS OH MY GOD!!! THATS SO PRICE AND SOAP YEA IM LIKE SCALING THE WALLS
જ thinking about seeing price’s tummy first before his gains. thinking about price lifting his shirt up to wipe at his face, giving you a view of his belly and you freeze, going breathless because what the fuck that’s so hot.
john sees you gaping at him and he coughs awkwardly, apologizing about the indecency, and you’re quick to reassure him that “no, no oh my god you look good! sorry i just- i just didn’t expect that!”
clearly that doesn’t save you from further mortification so you stutter out a goodbye and hightail out of there. it’d be weeks later (the gap days full of you remembering john’s body… sometimes even dreaming about it. dreaming about being pressed against his softness and being cradled and being taken by him against the wall and-…!!) when john shows you his muscles—ripped in a way that you also didn’t expect from him but, you realize, of fucking course he’s ripped!
the daydreams just spiral even more after that :((
જ thinking about the opposite for soap—how you first saw his toned pecs before his tummy. thinking about seeing soap in that white cunty ripped-sleeves turtleneck as he fixes up something in his garage, sweat making his adonis-like muscles glisten and you honest to god whimper.
johnny looks up from where he’s got his head bowed to see something in his car and waves at you, shooting you that toothy smile that makes your breath hitch. the stretch of his arm makes his muscles flex and you could not stop the dreamy sigh that slithers out of your lips.
“hey neighbour!” johnny calls out, before his brows furrow in confusion as you, and you realize this in horror, proceed to just stare at him, all dopey and unblinkingly.
“oh!” you squeak. “bye!”
you’d try to ignore him as best as you could and you tell yourself that johnny’s sad puppy look isn’t getting to you but, well, you’re a liar and a weakling.
so, naturally, you see yourself knocking on his door a week later with a tupperware full of cookies. johnny swings the door open, wide smile only faltering a bit to make way for his confusion, but you bulldoze through whatever he must have wanted to say because you could honestly feel yourself getting faint—of course your handsome neighbour is even more handsome up close. of course.
“i, uh, got you cookies,” you say, cringing at the rasp of your voice. “well i say i ‘got’ you cookies but actually i baked them. for you. as apology. because i’m sorry.”
why, in god’s name, are you talking like that!?
“and you probably don’t wanna eat them because, duh, muscle man right here—” jesus christ, shut up! “so feel free to chuck ‘em out, i honestly wouldn’t feel offended and-”
johnny laughs, so bright and joyful that it makes him throw his head back. he even wipes his eyes because he’s laughing so hard, he teared up.
“easy there, chipmunk,” he says, mid-chuckles.
chipmunk?
“i’d love to eat these—” he takes the tupperware from you. “y’kiddin’?”
then he does the unthinkable—he lifts his shirt up to show you his, surprisingly, soft belly. you expected muscles and sculpted abs but this? god, this is better.
johnny pats his stomach. “this baby needs ‘em sweets.”
“uh huh,” you rasp out because what else can you say when adonis shows you his stomach?
“that’s great,” you add, your eyes still trained to his belly. “really, really great.”
“…you okay there?”
you fumble another ‘uh huh’ because, again, what else can you say?
yall need to stage a full intervention atp bc i cant stop rambling hhhshe!!! ne ways, this is me rn for realz 😭 and me! anotha me!! god i need emmmm
#thoughts-from-omen#john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#john price#johnny soap mactavish#ask#suns#IM LOSING MY MIND
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bear with me bc this is gonna be a bit of a long one, but i've seen folks talking about how they're excited to get the horrors back on the qsmp and while i totally agree that i miss those blood-curdling, creepy, uncanny valley sort of scenes... i think the beauty of the overall storyline (as much as it's execution can be criticised ) is that we as the audience are seeing things in a vacuum.
the qsmp storyline is a living breathing player alongside our povs, and while we're aware of that, we're also not always engaging with it. we're getting swept up in the day-to-day of it all and getting lulled into a sense of security that ultimately makes us unable to truly comprehend the horror of the last few months until we take a step back and analyze it bit by bit.
children went missing in the night, leaving only their identifiers behind on empty beds. there were no leads. people looked and looked, and found nothing. parents were mad with concern and grief, and the all-seeing, all-powerful entity that rules their lives trapped in this hamster wheel of an island has no answers.
then, the items left behind on those beds vanish too.
then, there's mind-controlling, happiness inducing drugs being pumped into people against their will. still no news of the children. people are falling apart at the seams.
people are led to a maze where a wheel is spun and everything they have left of the children of this godforsaken island is gone. burned up. what does it mean? no one knows. they have to live on.
suddenly, a game is played. a clone of a dead child shows up, leading some of them into the same maze, forcing them to walk through a maze of doors and corridors, only to find a game of dice orchestrated by an unknown entity.
new people arrive, bearing witness to the hopeless, grim, sad reality of everyone who was already there. there's hope — there's always hope — but my god the pain is overwhelming.
there's clues, but there's not. the government keeping them trapped here against their will still has no answers, nothing to point them in the right direction.
faceless bears go missing.
faceless bodies show up on the streets. bloodied. dead. eaten.
suddenly, there's thunder and lightning and oh! oh, their children! of course they'll get on the train, that's where the children are!
but they're hijacked. stolen. once again, their autonomy is stripped entirely as another entity with power they cannot comprehend forces them to split into factions and compete for... something. their children's lives are on the line and they maim and kill those they call family because they fear they have no choice.
everyone went through hell — purgatory was a bad title for what they went through. it was hell, with no salvation in sight.
when all is said and done, when all the murder and backstabbing is over, they see their children through glass they cannot break. one escapes because chance said so, and the rest are left behind as the ceiling collapses on them.
the world is ending and their salvation is one singular boat a thousand blocks away. lovers can't say goodbye, friends run for their lives together, a father and a son dash desperately with no hope in sight. some stay behind, through choice or chance.
the government official that has made their life hell returns the children to them, and brings some new ones. those new children get carted off to new parents without option (again) and suddenly everything's supposed to be fine! nevermind your friends are gone! nothing to see here!
behind the scenes, the all-seeing all-knowing government is breaking apart, there's something far more horrifying and twisted at play in the background... but it's nothing the islanders can help with. nothing they can do. they have to live on and pretend their golden cage is fine and dandy bc at the end of the day, it's their only option.
one-eyed creatures show up demanding something "of theirs" back and bc humanity is strong, one islander refuses to hand someone kind and innocent off to them.
it dooms them, as their humanity has every single time.
now, they're under attack and they can barely defend themselves despite months of prep and having amazing gear — again, they try their hardest but everything is stacked against them. they fight, and fight, but their children are on the line and that's their main concern.
every fight? there's bodies littering the ground and panicked screams. explosions. chainsaws revving, and worry, and it's a war ten times a week.
a child loses a life, and now it's personal, but what can they do? no one listens to them, no one has ever listened to them.
and in the middle of all of this? their family is still gone, trapped in a wasteland, or missing, or... dead.
there was no funeral for q!maxo bc there's no stopping to smell the roses on quesadilla island, not really. where's slime? where's pol? where's the people who they haven't seen yet? gone, yes, but they don't have time to stop and worry about them. they don't have time to mourn losses and grieve their dead.
luffy, who came to try and help their friends, was stolen and hurt.
those eyeball workers? they were people once, maybe good people. maybe the best people we never got to meet, but they got shifted and changed into something monstrous and out of their control.
my point being: the story that the qsmp is telling is innately horrifying. it's not just creepy — it's twisted, and tragic, and absolutely terrifying. it's about loss of agency and running on an endless hamster wheel of someone else's making, and how you just sort of... live with it after a while.
and i think that's really fucking cool, because like these characters we too get used to the tragedy of life, little by little, and forget to see the whole thing from a bird's eye view (pun intended).
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[ 3tanfall ] ok so i posted this in the cul de sac but it's also gonna live on the blog too bc!! it's part of 3tanotes and i'm way too excited about it :')) so thank you all again and here's the spoiler passage!
A gentle autumn breeze wraps around your shoulders as you wait. Leaves traverse the concrete at your shoes, and you feel at peace while the sun starts to set.
How long have you been standing here? Surely Yoongi would’ve responded or at least texted you by now.
Knocking again, you pull out your phone to call him, noticing that the water bowl next to your feet is empty but the food bowl still has some spare scraps. With your free hand, you scoop up the empty container.
Where is he? You know he’s home so—
The door opens while your phone still rings, so you’re staring back at a pair of glasses in shock. Probably not how he expected to see you. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Yoongi responds, blinking at the bowl in your hand. “Oh, was that empty?”
“Mmhmm.” While you step inside, you quietly swoon at the way he slips your bag from your shoulder, laughing at his sudden set of questions.
“What the—? What the hell’s in here?”
You throw an explanation over your side on the way to the kitchen. “A surprise!”
Thumps hit his counter as he exerts effort. “Goddamn. You moving in?”
“You wish!” If this man says that one more time, you're packing your bags. Only hypothetically, of course. Because there's no way he means it right now.
Your sad grin’s light bounces off the sink at an angle. “Just got some things at the store and didn’t wanna use bags.”
When a hand braces the counter next to your waist, your mood instantly blooms. A hint of shyness will linger as always, but it’s paired with beautiful familiarity. Truly a welcome change in this new chapter, new season with him.
Yoongi’s other hand warms your arm with a light skim. And he doesn’t speak until you’re done with your task of filling the bowl with water,
“You could.”
Oh.
Just as the world transforms outside, so does your soul as every pretty and fleeting emotion nestles under your cheeks. When you slowly look Yoongi’s way, you admire his eyelashes as he focuses on the fingers touching your skin.
“I could,” you whisper back. When he lifts his gaze, your smile spreads. “If you convince me.”
That damn scrunch of his nose would be enough. But Yoongi sniffs in determination, straightening his posture before folding sleeved arms. “Mm… Sounds tough.” Your hands are still damp when he squints at the ceiling, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to strangle him when he jokes,
“And I’m lazy.”
“Oh, you—!” You laugh along with him as he breaks his facade, which doesn’t prepare you for the way he quickly tugs you in for a stupidly delicious kiss. It’s almost lethal enough for you to drop the bowl completely, but he releases as quickly as he pounced.
Leaving you with swollen lips and swirls for eyes.
Gathering what’s left of your sanity, you slowly squeak out, “That’s a… Good start.”
“Nice.” Yoongi flicks your nose before walking to his room. “After you put that out, come in here. Wanna show you something.”
“Something? Or something...”
He laughs. “Just hurry up. You’ll see.”
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a/n: goodbye i've missed them so much and i can't wait to finish this oh my godddd. hope y'all are ready for a whole pile of fluff and steamy goodness lmao
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//A little ramblig about eddie dear bc i cant stop thinking about him
Im not joking when i say this whole post was inspired after seen @//purple-raspberries “the mailman” drawing because O MY STARS WHAT IS THAT DRAWINgGGGGGG /pos
Okay so anyway, whats up with Eddie Dear? As, like, an active character of Welcome Home?
Something rubs me in the wrong way when it comes to him as a whole, not that I dislike him, pretty… much the opposite (thats why I'm making this post) actually, but I feel he is more relevant to the lore than what ppl give him credit for.
Even way before the past-year (2023) Halloween and Homewarming updates, I felt that he must simply be more than what is presented to us about him:
- He is the only character who sees all the rest of the neighbours every day due to his work
- He is one of the few if not the only one who is confirmed to be from outside of Home
- He brings one of the TWO functional clocks in all of Home (which could well be due to the nature of his work, but it doesn't take away from the fact that it's curious)
And I know, ik, this is not a lot. In fact, I believe this is not crucial info, but I want to mention it because it gives, in some way, a certain statement: Eddie Dear is not like everyone else. It differentiates him from the others.
There's simply something intriguing about him; and I constantly think about how, again, he's the resident who interacts most with his neighbors, the most helpful and willing to do anything, and despite that, he's the one who gets the most hits?
Hes always in a rush because he likes helping others, he's clumsy and yet he does his job in a stellar way and yet he goes the more underappreciated by his neighbors and its the first one to get to have his own personal breakdown during the Homewarming
Keep in mind, I don't mean that the other characters are bad or smth, we all know that inside they care for each other and are a pretty nice neighborhood-
But yea, starting with the most obvious, Howdy and Sally are downright condescending, bordering on rude to him. Howdy ignores him or pays half attention when he goes to deliver merchandise to the Bugdega and tries to start a conversation, and despite this, we can see that Howdy asks him for help to deliver things to someone else.
More specifically, during a hidden audio, we can hear that he uses Eddie to deliver an order of bowling balls to Julie DESPITE Howdy having a home delivery system and probably being able to better handle the weight of the merchandise, being at least two heads taller than Eddie, right when Eddie had just told him he had a very tiring day (of course he didn't hear that)
Sally, on her side, is condescending to him to the degree that when we hear them interacting, at least until now, it's mostly her giving him orders. Heck, Sally has a "long name" for every resident EXCEPT Eddie, whom she usually just calls "Mailman" for everything.
Julie and Frank tend to be more passive about it, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they also end up... taking advantage a bit? Or leaving him a bit aside. I know, I know, we all ship FranklyDear here, but it still bothers me how during "Eddie's big lift" (+ another hidden audio) we're shown how Julie tends to involve him in her games without much consideration as to whether Eddie even understands them to begin with, and Frank, despite acknowledging that he works hard and often overworks for everyone, leaves him lying on the ground. They don't even wait for him to get up to say goodbye properly, they just leave him there and go home. It's a bit sad to hear how Eddie talks to himself while getting up and dusting himself off.
And finally, one that I understand is a joke but serves as a transition to my next point: Barnaby and his constant gag of chasing Eddie around the neighborhood as soon as he sees him making his deliveries, or insisting that Eddie lifts him up because “he's just a puppy”. I won't delve into this (not now) because I know that overall that's Barnaby's way of joking; Eddie is not his only victim, but when you mix it with everything said above, it gives off some weird vibes.
It's as if Eddie was the typical "punching bag" character of the show's creators; you know, the one created so that the fun we get from him is at his expense, and sadly, somehow that fact makes sense to me as to why he's the first to have a "breakdown" during Homewarming and said breakdown has to do with, what else? his isolation and probable sadness.
During Sally's history and Poppy's confinement in her own house, there were two predominant themes: what happens when we're in the dark, what lurks in the shadows and whatnot, and isolation: Sally talks about this but Poppy experiences it first hand; shes alone and in the dark, house bricked to the top. However, Eddie gets overwhelmed despite being surrounded by everyone and, clearly, in a lit environment.
My opinion? Said loneliness and darkness don't necessarily need to be tangible, and in Eddie's case, they come from a mental place. My dear doesn't seem to have too much appreciation for himself, constantly letting people get the help they want (need, of course) from him at the cost of his own well-being. Eddie Dear is not happy, in fact, I feel he puts himself down a bit, which equates to darkness, and when he can distract himself from this fact again, Home reminds him; and his loneliness comes in a literal-but-not way. Eddie is never alone, that's evident, but again, in the Homewarming video we're not only emphasized that he's upset and confused because no one has asked him for help, but because he DOESN'T KNOW how to handle his own activities outside of work. Anything that doesn't have to do with the post office but is more personal overwhelms him because he's not used to thinking outside of how he should help others because that's his "only" way of interacting with them. Eddie needs to be needed in order to be closer to others, and when that's not the case, it frustrates him so much that it even seems like anger.
Heck, it's even sad how Sally mentions that nobody bothered him with the usual tasks they would require him for to give him a day off, and then downright nobody interacted with him. Not even Julie called him to play. When Sally finds him under Home's tree, she asks him to escort her to Home for the Homewarming and it's narrated that they're the last to arrive, but if Eddie hadn't left his house then... what? Would he have stayed there? (Lowkey I theorize that he wouldn't have, because of the fact that Sally and Frank seem to have more awareness than the others, I feel like she was actually waiting for him)
Personally, I consider that when it comes to a case like Eddie's, it's even worse, because you don't need to be actively in a closed and dark place, isolated (in what voluntary situation would someone have to be like that?) for your head to go completely to shit. Think about it, you make Home angry and he doesn't need the rest of the neighbors to build a wall around you. It does what you already do well: it locks you up with your thoughts and leaves you there.
So,,, uh, yeah, I don't know how to end this.
I just wanted to talk about my fav man.
somebody help him PLAEASSE
#welcome home update#welcome home#welcome home speculation#welcome home spoilers#welcome home eddie#this may be a bit of a strech#but idk it kinda makes sense in my head#This considering the theory that Home is responsible/makes the characters have these crises as a kind of revenge or way to control them.#Also the theory that Sally and Frank know what's going on or have a better understanding#im gonna smooch the mailman#𓆩 OffRol
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MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT
Propaganda for both options under the cut!
Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:
mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music
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the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."
it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!
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miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".
THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.
MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS
i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.
the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it
the "DIE-suki" pun.
the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.
the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking
i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.
the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.
Propaganda for CAT:
"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.
You’ve got a lovely “jingle��� (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.
The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.
The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.
The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.
And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.
As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."
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-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*
-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk
-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.
-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.
-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.
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FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!
THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.
THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.
Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.
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New anon here... I've been thinking about the government shoving Eddie into witness protection without letting him say goodbye to the rest of the group, which is a real bummer Steddie-wise because they were definitely headed towards something. So Eddie is like, in the suburbs of Chicago or somewhere under the new name Nathan Edwards or something, gets a slave wage job at a Scoops Ahoy, and proceeds to eat his feelings.
A couple years later, Steve is passing through the area, sees the Scoops, and thinks what the hell, he's doing pretty well for himself these days at whatever "fuck you dad I can make it on my own" career he ended up choosing, he can go in and tip some fresh outta high school kid the way he'd always appreciated back in his Starcourt days. And wow, the guy behind the counter definitely isn't a teenager, but he does look familiar...
:0 anon!!!!!
i’m hoping by saying he eats his feeling in the ice cream shop that we’re on the same page here… (bc oof 🥴👹)
but ugh witness protection is so sad omg but big hurt/comfort possibilities maybe i think i think
they make them leave straight out of the hospital, him and wayne and one box of stuff each. they give them new names, a new place, set wayne up with a new job. but it’s not the same, nothing is, never will be. eddie has to cut his hair, thankfully not a buzz cut but he hasn’t had his curls sit above his ears in years. it’s the thing that makes his feel most strange, he thinks - not recognising himself in the mirror.
recovering physically took a long time, mentally, just as long. but eventually he needs to be around people again, needs money, a routine. the scoops job started as kind of a joke and then he realised it was the place he applied with the easiest commute and the owner was a really chill dude at the interview and then it really wasn’t a joke anymore. eddie worked a scoops ahoy. the pay is whatever but the work is fine and with wayne’s wage they more than get by and while it’s boring, it also kind of feels like breathing room, time to slow down and learn about himself again, after everything.
after a while eddie is actually kind of digging the sailor outfit, gives him an excuse to be kind of silly and get away with way more with customers that he should. like you can’t really get mad at him, not dressed like that, not when he still gets the orders right. it feels like a character, he’s the bard, the jester, and one day he’ll break free but for now - he enjoys the free icecream.
it started small, employees are allowed one item in break and he usually went for a soda, then that changed to a milkshake or a cone. and then one night he was closing and it was right by wayne’s birthday and there was a quarter of a tub set to be thrown out. and, well, eddie thought, why not take it home?
then the new monthly schedule comes out and since most of the part timers are younger and he has his (new) van it’s got him set to closing alone most shifts. fine by him, one hour of pay where he can blast his walkman while he cleans, best case scenario even.
he was also in charge of making sure the tubs were correctly filled ready for the openers and that meant throwing out the near empty ones. so near empty that that kid in eddie seems to rear up and remind him of all those times they couldn’t afford icecream, why let it go to waste? he always did have a sweet tooth.
so most nights his routine after work is to get home, have dinner with wayne, get high, watch some tv or read or listen to music and most notably polish off whatever ice cream and ‘only just out of date so still definitely good’ toppings he’s managed to squirrel home.
that last bit is notable because it’s been a year of working there, just under a year of this new routine, and eddie’s had to size up his once baggy uniform.
he’s kept definition in his legs and arms since his job is running around and scooping frozen shit. but now he’s padded with a layer of chub and his stomach is padded with a lot more than that, having bared the brunt. his cheeks have also rounded and his thighs and ass are honestly looking better than ever.
and with everything so new that’s been forced on him, this new at least feels like his. he knows how it happened, he’s not dumb, and yeah sometimes he ate just to wallow but he enjoyed every fucking bite of that ice-cream. and yeah he knows the red stripes that streak up his sides and push agains the waistband of his shorts aren’t everyone’s idea of desirable but, this is him now. everything else in his life is new, may as well have a new body to go with it. and to be honest he finally feels like he’s recognising himself in the mirror now. this new guy he’s had to become, there are ways that it’s still his.
but god does he miss everyone. not a day goes by he doesn’t think of home, his friends, his life, the people he almost died with. steve. so every night he gets high and eats ice cream and feels his belly swell that little bit more. sometimes he cries, sometimes he laughs but he’s alive and he has wayne and they’re safe. so every night he eats icecream.
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steve moves to chicago with robin. he’s in school to be a physical therapist, robin studying italian. they moved just outside the city because it’s cheaper, a nice little neighbourhood. hes getting by, he works at a gym and helps with some of the classes, it’s decent pay and fun and he’s getting more and more days where that darkness feels far away, his rain cloud isn’t so thick. he’s doing it, surviving. living, even.
but, every day he misses eddie munson.
he’s out jogging when he spots it, taken a new route and made it to a strip of stores he didn’t know were there. with a scoops ahoy. just like summer of ‘83.
he laughs.
for old times sake and knowing robin will get a kick out of it he head in inside. thinks the 20 in his sock is more than enough to have spare for a tip that should brighten whatever kid is working the counter. surely they don’t still have the same unifo- nope, they do, and the guy at the counter looks much closer to steve’s age than the high schooler he expected. he’s cute. big eyes, nice hands.
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eddie’s frozen. there’s a spectre in his store. steve’s staring at him. eddie’s stares at steve. eddie’s suddenly filled with anxious energy, unsure how to process what’s in front of him. tugs at his shirt out of habit, smooths the fabric down over the plush of his stomach, readjusts his hat that doesn’t need readjusting, bounces on his toes. what the fuck.
and eddie sees that steve doesn’t quite recognise him with his rounder features and shorter hair. he can’t wear his rings to work (they’re different, gold but still chunky) and, obviously steve’s never seen him dressed like this, also probably never imagined eddie would have a belly like that.
the second thing that registers in eddie, after the initial shock, is feeling his stomach drop out in fear. for wayne. for their place. for his job… for steve.
he doesn’t remember what the rules were about contact with his past. but he’s pretty sure there were rules on it.
but then something flickers across steve’s face, a flash of lightning, and he’s moving, leaning across the counter and enveloping eddie in a hug. ‘oh thank god.’ eddie hears steve breathe, strained and relieved and so full of emotion eddie feels his throat close and his eyes burn. steve’s here. eddie squeezes back and breaths deep, he smells like sweat and hairspray and home.
his steve is here.
and all eddie can do is cling back.
they’ll have to figure something out. he can’t let go of this again.
#anon this was so good#i loved it so much#the brain worm u gave me ugh#i’m giving u a#MWAH!#hotlunch#steddie#steve x eddie#chubby eddie munson#hurt/comfort#ask#chubby!eddie munson#steddie wg#witness protection wg au
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VENOM THE LAST DANCE SPOILERS
listen i need to watch it again to form a proper opinion but overall it's definitely my least favorite out of the three. there were some nice moments and a lot of symbrock yeah sure but the ending felt soooo rushed to me and verged on goofy like i could not take that fuck ass maroon 5 song seriously!!!
i loved how they showed eddie being kinda awful and really miserable and i would just have loooooved to see them do something with that!!! i wanted real character growth!!!!! we just get left off on a very unsatisfying place regarding their relationship and eddie's life In My Opinion. like sure they love each other we established that but it doesn't feel like they really got to grow out of the buddy-buddy bickering we got in ltbc and i know tld picks up right where ltbc left us so it's not like i was expecting some huge shift or for them to actually make symbrock canon but MAN I DON'T KNOW give us something at least
anyway the "we've been together for a year?" and the scenes with the family and venom saying eddie would be a good dad etc were all great but i still think we could've gotten more out of the movie. it just felt to me like they were building up to something and then it fucking ended. like what i thought was build up was the fucking climax of the movie. my mouth actually dropped when the title card appeared bc i really did not think they'd end it like that but they DID. THEY DID
although i'm mad as hell about them ending up separated i really liked their goodbye scene tom hardy truly is on another level bc how does he have chemistry with a fucking cgi alien. genuinely thought they were gonna smooch there for a second LMFAO it reminded me a lot of that insane sexually charged tom/austin scene in the bikeriders. crazy!
i'm not gonna talk too much about the plot itself bc i don't really love knull and the whole symbiote hivemind bs the last couple comic runs established so i knew going into it that it wasn't gonna appeal to me all that much but there are like . some inconsistencies lol but tbh the first two are also not all that great plot wise either so i won't hold it against tld too much
lastly i wish they'd have made venom give eddie his suit though, huge missed opportunity
overall i'm just feeling a little bittersweet because it's the last one and i'm sad i didn't love it :( i do need to digest it a little more and hopefully as more people watch it and talk about it i'll be reminded of the good parts and maybe my opinion will change
oh i also spotted a few comic parallels that i thought were pretty cool! eddie laying down venom-less in the middle of rubble and fire like that panel in cates' run, him waking up in the hospital without venom and probably others i can't remember rn lol
but yeah these are just very raw unfiltered thoughts i might change my mind!!! and i will say i am very excited to see people's reactions and what the fandom will make out of what they've given us
#venom spoilers#venom the last dance spoilers#venom tld spoilers#sorry abt no punctuation and typos i'm in a rush !!!!!#venom#symbrock
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Sending another tumbler classic!!
What if someone is very actively flirting with RO, making heart eyes at them, complimenting, smiling sweetly, etc. The MC looks at them from afar. They don't like it, they are jealous and upset, but they can't say anything because they are too shy and not sure if RO likes such attention from this person or not. So, MC just sends sad glances in their direction. What would the Ro's do?
(crush stage)
Reem: ok her heart would break for MC. She's patient, and she probably realized there's something there at this point, so in the event she also wants to pursue MC, she's just quickly gonna say goodbye to whomever is doing the flirting and run back to MC for some quality time. Anything to remedy those puppy eyes.
Flo: a) does not realize he's being flirted with and b) does not realize MC is sad. But no worries, even if he did notice the flirting, he probably wouldn't be into it. He's wary of people who hit on him without establishing something of a bond first.
Basil: @ whomever is doing the flirting: "Yes, thanks, I know. Sweet of you to notice, though. I really appreciate it. Anyhow, I'm just gonna scoot..." And then he'll extricate himself to go cheer up MC, make them laugh again with his stupid jokes and also to demonstrate that he's very much available to MC. (*spreads arms* "Judging from that look, I'm guessing you missed me!")
Anita: she's kind of overwhelmed to receive attention like this, and while a part of her enjoys it, she's aware that it's not coming from the person who she actually wants it to come from (MC ofc). So she's gonna go like, "Thank you so much, it was lovely talking to you but I have somewhere to be." She'll return to MC and ask them if something's the matter, knowing full well what's wrong. Just like with Basil, it's more about showing MC that it's them she Really wants, even though she can't hide she was pleased at getting compliments.
Sawyer: is a dick about it. If MC hasn't spoken up about liking them yet, Sawyer will view that as MC refusing to make an effort and form a connection with them. So they will enjoy another person flirting with them simply bc MC is watching. They will also check multiple times if MC is still watching and be delighted when they are. They're like "See, I have other options, so you should really ask me out already". They don't have any interest in whomever is doing the flirting and will not make any further moves to encourage them.
Also this is so funny to me that I got this ask bc I just read @thelonelyshore-if 's answer to the exact same one.
#romanceable characters#ro asks#ro answers#ro rambles#hosted games#choicescript game#if: such happy campers
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Bucchigiri?! x Reader
Some silly hcs when you're his s/o
Part Two w Outa and Matakara<3
Reader is GN!
Shindo
✓ I actually imagine you were a freshman at the school when you met Shindo ✓ you only knew him from afar since back then he liked to keep to himself, always shy and quiet around everyone ✓ things changed when you joined Minato Kai ✓ you were training with the other members when Ken came around with a new member ✓ you instantly recognized Shindo ✓ making your move on getting to know him you two spend a lot of time together (you constantly pestered him) ✓ he slowly opened up to you and you helped him woth becoming stronger as well ✓ when the incident happened where he got banned from Minato Kai you two lost contact even though you tried to find him again ✓ a while later Shindo showed up before you one day, completely changed ✓ explained his plans to you bc you still have a special place in his heart ✓ you tried to warn Ken but it was already too late when the fight started ✓ after the fight (and Shindo getting his ahh handed to him) he surprisingly stuck around you ✓ but not in a nice way, that mf was everywhere you went (or you swore it was a curse and you were the one constantly running into him) ✓ you knew everything that was happening with Senya and Ichiya because Shindo doesn't keep his voice down while ranting about them every chance he gets ✓ from then on you two were a duo (unintentionally)
Arajin
✓ plssss the only way you'd (hopefully) ever fall for this guy is when you knew him before ✓ like you were chilling with Matakara and Arajin everyday when you were kids ✓ watched them train to become Honki people omg ✓ but that day young Matakara got beat up by this group of kids you weren't around because of a family emergency ✓ you only ever heard Matakaras side of story of why he suddendly moved without saying goodbyes ✓ you two missed him everyday from them on but you had quiet a lot on your hands with rebel Matakara anyways (can't blame ya) ✓ when Arajin moved back and joined your school you were actually ecstatic ✓ you finally had your childhood crush Back after all ✓ Arajins eyes lit up for a bit and you could see a blush on his cheeks when he saw you for the first time when you went to greet him ✓ his happiness quickly dropped tho and he was acting cold towards you, kinda like he's hella uncomfy in your presence (Zabu wanted to beat shrimps ahh everytime he saw you sad bc Arajin ignored you again ✓ and this is how it went ✓ with you (and Matakara) trying to talk to him but he blocked you both out help ✓ you never thought you'd actually be jealous of Mahoro out of all people srs ✓ "I need to find my darling husband. I'm so worried about him." "Honestly, what do you see in that guy?" "He makes me laugh." -Y'alls energy ✓ anyways, i believe you two come together after the whole ideal with Matakara and Ichiya is done. ✓ you were the first one there to hug him&taking care of him and the way he finally seemed to care about you and Matakara made you happy ✓ you have the old Arajin finally back ✓ he still tried to ask Mahoro out w the stone and she rejected (obv) you swooped in and offered him to go on a date. ✓ with no guilt haunting him he was able to see you as you and man was SMITTEN ✓ have fun with a sweaty and awkward diarrhea bomb crushing on you ✓ tbh prepare for him to stare and be interested in other women too (if you can't beat em join em and now you both look at women you find pretty but You're much more smooth with it) ✓ will gift you your personal carved stone with yours and his initials <3 ✓ wear his shirts plsssss he loves it sm ✓ he can COOK and this WELL! Definetly would spoil you with food ✓ he hates fighting but still will protect you (as much as he could) ✓ pls hit him when he tries those cringy romantic shit on you ✓ oh also his momma would absolutely ADORE YOU
KOMAO
✓ HES MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ✓such a sweetheart omg ✓ BUT he'll tease the shit outta you if you give him the opportunity ✓ he's so clingy and touchy so expect him to randomly hug you or hold onto you ✓ PIGGY BACK RIDES!!! Both ways! Prefers if you carry him and he'll compliment you sm💞 ✓ prolly has really funny pet names for you too ✓ he straight up asked you out a few days after meeting you ✓ is not above pestering you until you say yes anyways ✓ absolutely loves it when you hold his face in your hands ✓ greeting him every morning means running towards each other and him spinning you (or you him, it can go both ways) ✓ lots of holding hands and hugging to the point Zabu groans loudly out of
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idk how you feel about songfics but i’m obsessed w tswift’s dbatc rn and i’m just thinking about spencer reid having a secret relationship that he leaves bc he’s afraid his so will be killed by an unsub but his so is like a local singer and garcias a huge fan and is like omg this song is so beautiful and sad happy ending or angst ending doesn’t matter i just think that song encompasses how i would feel if i loved and lost reid sorry for rambling anywayyy
i am a woman on a mission and ik you just requested this but as soon as i saw it i got immediate inspo
i also have a hotch x reader fic called death by a thousand cuts BUT i had to do this one as well 🫶 also i’m so sorry if it’s shit i’m so tired lmaoooo
I Can’t Pretend It’s Okay When It’s Not
spencer reid x fem!reader
When Penelope gushed about a local musician she absolutely adores playing at the cafe she visits frequently and forced the entirety of the BAU team to tag along, she forgot to mention what Spencer would deem the most important piece of information— her name.
At first, when they walked into the coffee shop already a couple songs in due to the team's later arrival (much to Penelope’s dismay), Spencer wasn’t completely aware of the angelic voice completing beautiful melodies. His main focus being on getting coffee into his system asap, while he was up at the counter, he tuned it out almost completely— again, almost. The moment he heard her speak was a completely different story.
“Um, so this is a new song…” the woman on the small five inch high stage started, “I actually wrote it a couple weeks ago after a very… difficult time in my life… a time I’m still actually going through, but I hope you guys have it in your heart to give it a listen with open minds. This is Death by a Thousand Cuts.”
Spencer slowly walked back over to the team, eyes wide and fixed on the woman he believes is the love of his life. The only problem being he has no right to call her his anymore.
Soft strumming of the guitar began, with low my’s being sung, and he heard a soft gasp come from his left. “Oh, this is gonna hurt,” Penelope said, one hand placed on her chest while the other hugged around her body.
“Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
Flashbacks waking me up
I get drunk, but it's not enough
'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby
I look through the windows of this love
Even though we boarded them up
Chandelier's still flickering here
'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not
It's death by a thousand cuts”
Not even a minute in and Spencer feels as though he’s been stabbed through the heart. It’s difficult hearing it from her perspective. When he made the decision to end what they had, it was out of protection— it was so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the burdens of his job.
“I dress to kill my time
I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right
They say, "I don't know"
And what once was ours is no one's now
I see you everywhere
The only thing we share
Is this small town”
“You said it was a great love
One for the ages
But if the story's over
Why am I still writing pages?”
Spencer thinks back to their love story, back to when it began and the blissful moments, the rendezvous’, and the unasked questions about why they only ever had real dates inside and why no one on the team or anyone with any semblance of importance in Spencer’s life knew of them.
He thinks back to how happy she was, and how she was content with just being with him. How when her eyes lit up the first time he said he loved her, but also the dim the second he ended things.
He thinks about the nightmares he thought were over. How instead of Maeve being the victim it was now her. How if it wasn’t for those nightmares, the onslaught of “what-if’s” wouldn’t plague his mind. How if he had a less dangerous job, a job that didn’t take every ounce of life or happiness out of him, he would and could still be with her.
And as he thinks of these things, he suddenly becomes aware of the blazing eyes that had locked with his, and a tiny gasp is heard from the microphone before she starts playing with more vigor.
“My heart, my hips, my body, my love
Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch
Gave up on me like I was a bad drug
Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club
Our songs, our films, united we stand
Our country, guess it was a lawless land
Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand
Paper cut stings from our paper thin plans”
It hurt. So much. And it was clear it wasn’t only him because each word she sang was aimed to puncture him. The tears brimming in her eyes were also evident. To anyone else, her words are curated from past
memories from someone who hurt her, but to Spencer, it was a message. A message that every single part of their relationship was taken into account while writing this song. A message that everything they’ve ever said or done had been tainted with the memory of him leaving her with no explanation.
“My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust
Trying to find a part of me you didn't take up
Gave you too much but it wasn't enough
But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts”
He watches as she screws her eyes shut, and the sharpness of her words becomes duller as she sings on. He knew he fucked up the moment he walked out of her apartment the night he ended it, but he has never regretted it more than now. He misses her. He misses smiles, the laughter, the unconditional love that radiates from her. He would do anything to get that back.
He doesn’t realize he’s standing there, staring at her in awe mixed with sadness until applause is heard throughout the cafe and Penelope lets out a small “so sad and and beautiful,” while wiping under her eyes. He also doesn’t realize that after she announces a small break that he was walking up to her in a daze, the entire team behind him eyes wide with shock.
He also doesn't realize the first words he speaks to her are what they both longed to hear between the two for weeks.
“I miss you so much.”
She’s shocked to say the least. She’s completely speechless to the point where he begins to speak again due to the lack of words on her side.
“I’m an idiot— I’m, I’m so stupid. You’d think with an IQ of 187 I would be able to not make decisions like leaving the one woman I love the most in the world. Y/N, I swear I thought I was keeping you safe because with me and my job, that’s not always a guarantee, but listening to you and what you’re going through, I can’t— I know it wasn’t the right thing to do—”
“Spencer,” she finally cut him off, placing her hand on his arm and shifting her eyes to the people behind him who had been standing with him. “Later, okay? You can tell me everything later when we aren’t surrounded by a bunch of people.” The look in her eyes was genuine, but there was still hurt swimming in them. He wanted to say something, anything to ease it, but before he could open his mouth she grabbed the acoustic guitar and gave him a small smile. “And I miss you too,” she said before walking back up on the small platform and adjusting her mic.
While introducing her next song, Spencer slowly made his way back to the group who were going to ask the inevitable questions, but that didn’t stop the small smile from making its way to his lips, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to pretend to be okay anymore.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#anne marie answers
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TWISTED WONDERLAND BOOK 7 CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS. (summary, kinda. dont trust me a lot on literal translations its more of a general summary and i could be wrong with some things. also its kind of live reaction so. yeah. this shit is long btw. too much lore.)
no spoilers in tags, but beware that i will be spoiling the whole chapter for people who cant wait for the full translation/people who cant read it
we begin.
>lilia is asking malleus to use the dorm for a “im going away lol” party that apparently the whole dorm is organizing??? damn lilia way to make malleus sad lmao
>MALLEUS IS INVITED!!!!!!! HES INVITED HE GOT AN INVITATION AND EVERYTHING!!! SOBS. he even accepts it this is a glorious day for dragonchan
>uhhh something i dont fully understand but goes along the lines of malleus.. had gao gao kun.. FOR 17 YEARS??? AND WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TOY HE WOULD GO TO LILIAS HOUSE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM??? omg thats so fucking cute help
>basically more talk about how time goes away way too fast for malleus
>lilia comments how the more time you spend with someone the harder it is to say goodbye (bestie arent you going away like too easily then? sus.)
>lilia left and OOP. MORE MALLEUS BLOT. NOT GOOD. malmal is very confused??
>lilia goodbye party already??? wtf thats fast
>so apparently every single character is going to be here (almost...)
>hmh where the fuck is malleus? lol what
>trey says something along the lines of lilia having a hmmmmmm unique??? way of cooking LMAO. lilia thanks trey for his cooking advice (YOU DIDNT LISTEN EVEN ONCE WHAT THE FUCK LILIAAA)
>cater....... hes so sad about lilia leaving the music club :((( he thanks lilia for being friends and they take a pic together waaaaa ;;
>lmao leona appeared and lilia is teasing him so much bcs leona is glad to not see lilia again
>LEONA WANTS TO LEAVE BUT RUGGIE SAID “NO??? THIS IS FREE FOOD??? R U DUMB” HELP
>octavinelle time! lilia basically gives all of them advice (azul dont be too greedy or it will kill you wwwww)
>floyd says something like “why are you leaving actually” and lilia says something along the lines of “i dont want you to see the ?? me?” the what you i didnt understand that part what are you hiding little bitch
>KALIM BASICALLY SAID THAT IF LILIA GOES TO HIS COUNTRY HE WOULD HAVE VIP TREATMENT FROM HIS FAMILY HELLO? and jamil comments how kalim wanted to gift him an instrument but they needed a TRUCK TO MOVE IT???? tf were you giving him, an organ?
>now to pomefiore, vil comments how malleus restored his beauty at the end of book 6 and wonders if they can do a magic transfer (?) of the same type to lilia and he says nah
>BECAUSE HES JUST OLD
>pomefiore is like ? arent you the same age as us
>LORE BOMBSHELL, LILIA SAYS HES ALMOST 700 YEARS OLD??????? (way less than i expected?? lol)
>LMAO THEYRE SO SURPRISED. rook asked if malleus is as old as lilia and lilia said that malleus is younger??? or that hes as old as them??? i didnt get that very well but something along the lines of malleus being way younger than lilia basically
>lilias family members are supposed to reach 1000 years old but apparently lilia was to eager? well not that, like he fucked up by playing too many games and that somehow made him old very fast? what (i think this might be a misstranslation help because it doesnt make a lot of sense. but something along the lines of lilia being 700 or so and his family being much older usually but him not reaching that age)
>cant remember exactly where it was but lilia also coments about how the dragons usually live much longer and that 1000 years for them is like peak maturity, when they become adults
>IDIA IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS GAMER FRIEND IS RETIRING FROM GAMING BUT HE WONT FUCKING CONNECT THE DOTS AND REALIZE ITS LILIA LMAO
>HE FORGOT TO ASK HIM HIS CONTACTS HELPPPPP
>also apparently him and lilia were their own best and first friends in online games?
>oh malleus and silver time! theyre in the main road to the main building
>malleus is throwing a mild tantrum (?) and he made snow??? apparently
>silver fucking crying because he wasnt able to do anything for his dad bruh malleus feels the same
>more malleus blot?? what the fuck thats fast
>UH OH MALLEUS HAS AN IDEA. that cant be good.
>back to the party, first years time
>basically all thank lilia for everything
>i think ortho knows about lilia and idia being gamer friends but wont tell them??? he just said that idia didnt want to come and hands lilia a list of everything idia is playing (and lilia is surpised because most of the games are the same BUT HE WONT REALIZE) so maybe they can play a match before he retires i guess???? theyre so close to finding out but they wont fucking do it im going insane
>idia didnt come to the aprty btw he is the only character that is not there because he was mourning his friend quitting the game lmao
>lilia thanks yuu once again for being friends with malleus?
>HUH? A DREAM???? BUT YUU IS NOT ASLEEP TF
>yuu asks lilia if they can do anything for him and lilia asks the first years to be friends with sebek because poor croc hasnt made a single friend rip
>lilia apologized for sebeks behaviour bcs ace i believe said that he was so rude and said to sebek to behave but sebek.... refuses? lol
>LILIA IS GOING ALREADY AND MALLEUS AND SILVER ARE NOT BACK YET STOP.
>apparently lilias card for nrc arrived 500 years ago but he didnt care back then? so when malleus received his much later he went along with him (and he thanks crowley for letting him enter the school 500 years later lol)
>LILIA IS GOING
>MALLEUS AND SILVER ARRIVED ON TIME!
>malleus is really happy everyone is there
>??? the party said that no gift was needed but malleus is brining lilia a gift anyways, a “blessing”. uhhhh.
>m. malleus is like way too happy about this. hes saying something along the lines of “today we dont celebrate an end but a beginning” uh. not good.
>this bitch is way too happy tf
>BASICALLY MALLEUS PLAN IS THE MUGEN TSUKUYOMI HELP?
>ORTHO IMMEDIATELY DETECTED BLOT RISING
>crowley is fucking alarmed and he lets everyone use their magic
>malleus regular battle HE HAS 300K HP AND REGENS 60K EVERY SINGLE TURN??????? BASICALLY AN IMPOSSIBLE BATTLE LIKE THE FIRST BATTLE IN THE GAME AGAINST THE CHIMERA
>you will lose this battle
>lilia tried to make magic to stop him but says something like “this body cant even do magic like that anymore?!” tf you mean “this body” do you have other bodies like dottore or what
>everyone is scared shitless HUH
>lilia is now insulting malleus calling him a dumbass or smth and saying that he doesnt know what hes doing and malleus screams that hes doing this to not lose him HELP
>sebek and silver are trying to calm things down, it obviously doesnt work
>malleus says something about grabbing his hand??? scary
>he gave his blessing! its a long ass spell btw. i think his “blessing” is his unique magic
>DAMN THAT LILIA SCREAM
>MALLEUS FUCKING OVERBLOTS. ALREADY???
>THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS COVERED IN THORNS AND EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP???
>malleus saying something about 1000 years will pass very quick wtf
>”you will become the heroes of the story”? malmal says something like that
>AND NOW
>AND FUCKING NOW
>WE RETURN TO THE TWISTED WONDERLAND LOGO. THE ONE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. WHILE MALLEUS HUMMS ONCE UPON A DREAM.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
THE TIME LOOP THEORY? HUH?
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