#but also I'm not going to suddenly change the way I talk about my characters because I don't want to be tone policed about my little guys
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coeluvr ยท 11 months ago
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I hope this doesn't come off as rude but it's just i've been curious for a while so i had to ask ; do you really hate vincent or is that more of a running joke? I just find it slightly weird he's the only RO (and one of the characters) you've been constantly speaking bad about. I rarely remember you saying smth nice about him. Ngl as a vincent romancer it's kinda discouraging. Again, i hope this doesn't come off as rude, i was simply sharing my feelings over this and wanted your insight. I love the story and Vincent <3
Oh god ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ It's a running joke because of how he was created LOL I won't get into it because it's loser core of me ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ’” but I assure you I love him just as much as the others!
If I truly hated his guts he wouldn't have good scenes like come on you think I would have written his festival scene in chapter 2 like that if I hated his guts? ๐Ÿ˜ญ He even gets to be with MC all the time for a month even if he hates it... ๐Ÿคญ
I bully the characters I like the most (if you read the story that's pretty clear ๐Ÿ˜“) and I try to always put a tone tag after my jokes regarding him to avoid confusion. ๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™€๏ธ So yeah, don't worry about it.
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st4rstudent ยท 16 hours ago
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i feel somewhat responsible for this, even if iโ€™m not the one saying these things. Iโ€™m genuinely so sorry.
No need to apologize! It's not one singular person doing it and truth be told I don't think it's a large majority that thinks that (albeit the ones that do are quite vocal). I didn't mean to upset anyone or anything when complaining about it, I was just letting off some steam.
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Having a yap session under the cut sorry I feel like rambling under your ask anon.
Admittedly, I do think there are reasonings for people thinking this way. A lot of the focus with Clash has been on the cogs, especially after the 1.3 update. Which I can't say I blame them! Managers were something new and exciting and (from what I can tell) really separated them from the other servers. I don't blame them for wanting to put focus on that because that was their thing. Alongside other things, but majorly when you hear Clash the managers are mentioned in someway shape or form. But as we all know, toons ended up taking the short stick from this. This isn't helped by the gameplay itself, being mainly a fetch-quest deal so you often only talk to npcs once or twice unless if they're repeated ones and the taskline wasn't entirely accessible on the wiki for a while (shoutout to the wiki maintainers. The taskline script is a savior). Which I'm quite excited to see if they deal with this issue with the rewrite. I imagine they will, but anyways. Social media posts would often contain more managers than toons, which I also believe they're starting to fix. And ontop of this, I believe most of the team in the early era of the sever is gone, so there's been some stuff lost in the change. So yeah, dialogue/writing has been kind of rocky. AGAIN- I am completely aware of the rewrite going on and I am not judging them harshly based off of their current state. I'm very appreciative of the fact that they took the time to listen and are focusing on trying to fix it up. And then there's also fandom mischaracterization- especially of the cogs. Forgive me for mentioning mischaracterization because normally I wouldn't really care (I've mischaracterized characters before..especially in my younger years. I think it's just a process of learning an having fun and I hate to limit anyone because of it). With that being said, there's a lot of baby-fying and coddling of the managers. Especially with those who have more 'sympathetic' stories (Misty, Chip, Winston specifically). Don't get me wrong, I like these characters and I can appreciate the story they're trying to tell, but I feel like so many people will hear their dialogue and then misplace their anger. People get mad at Bessie for trying to protect HER lighthouse or at the Elders for trying to keep YOTT safe (lets not forget Winston was there to brainwash toons). Yes, yes technically there would've been better ways to do it but consider this: The toons are scared. Their homes, stores, lives are being taken over by a big corporation that has more resources that they do. They don't have the privilege of waiting, seeing, and gathering. And then people forget that the company has such a huge role in both toons and cogs lives. If you're mad over the mistreatment of Misty or the fact that Winston is still in the dungeon, your anger should be directed at the company who doesn't care. I may be completely wrong in saying this, but I feel like the stories with almost all of the managers is a reflection of the company. The toons are only trying to protect themself and their environments and yet this seems to go forgotten when people start bashing them. And of course, I'd consider myself a toon guy so me saying all this and complaining may come off as "I HATE the cogs and everyone who posts only about them!" and for clarification that's not true. You all know how much I like that little brain thing. The cogs are interesting, their designs are fun, I don't blame people for liking them because I do too. I just wish that the thought process behind so many of these discussions wasn't so cog focused because I believe that this anger at the toons for, RIGHTFULLY, defending themselves helps push this mischaracterization of them as a whole. That they're mean, boring, unlikeable while the opposite is true. Yes there are some, what I'd consider, "filler" dialogue from the shopkeepers. This is just because of the gameplay. But there are some funny and cute moments with them if people would just listen and read.
Which also brings me into another point: people skip the dialogue. I've caught myself doing this before (on my first account. I have 4 accounts total, so I reread the dialogue on like 3 of them). But people will complain about lack of toon personalities while doing this. It's like reading through a comic book, only looking at the drawings, and then complaining because there "isn't a storyline". Luckily, there's been efforts to keep track of the dialogue on the wiki but I doubt a lot of people are going through and reading the entire script. It just feels very disingenuous to criticize the dialogue when you haven't even read it. Likewise, people don't seem to read the blogposts either. This is both from a dialogue aspect and from an update aspect (people continuously asking about hammerspace/mix-and-match under unrelated posts).
#clemask#clemramble#I think I hit some sort of word limit because it wont let me add anymore so im continuing in tags#It kind of feels like people want the toon resistance to be the perfect victim and then get mad when they act accordingly#Fear. Nervousness. Sadness. Helplessness. Anger. etc etc are all valid reactions to their situation#Not every toon needs to be heroic and whimsical. they're scared. their situation is scary if you think about it#they're at the risk of losing their environment and homes.#Obviously the cogs also have their own issues but I always see this brought up when talking about them but the same context#isnt given to the toons when thinking about their characters and communities as a whole#It's kind of weird to me because I feel like even pre-rewrite I know that I can still understand them and justify their actions#and yet people act like clashes (pre rewrite) writing is justifying the cogs when in reality its not#its just showing that cog society (reflection of workplace enviroment) has its own issues. i never saw it as a justification#even with misty. like I never once hated bessie? my opinion of her never changed even after mistys dialogue#bessie did what she had to do because she was scared and wanted to protect herself and others.#id do something similar if a cog (known for taking over towns) suddenly came up to me#PLUS bessie leaves misty alone afterwards. ppl act like she took a shotgun and shot misty dead and it makes me laugh#ANYWAYS SORRY ANON. NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE.#realistically if youre not saying it then i doubt youre contributing#I would say โ€œi wasnt madโ€ or anything but to be completely transparent with you guys i was Not-Happy when writing that one post#but it's not directed at any single person but rather the idea itself. I'm sure after the rewrite people will chill out#ITS NEVER THIS SERIOUS im beefing over characters named pretty princess sparkles. im aware of how silly this all sounds ok#the clash fandom isnt the only instance of this. ive seen stuff like this in sw before so like. I know this isnt an uncommon thing either#normally id just keep this on a priv or between friends but something kinda snapped yesterday#i think its bc I just KEEP seeing posts like it with those โ€œhot takeโ€ posts or whatever and ppl are always so mean about it#i also think some ppl just already dont like toons and look for every. little. thing. to go after them for#like the โ€œyouve been drafted lineโ€ i refuse to believe people took that line 100% seriously#or maybe this is all wrong and im just a huge toon fan. and in that case i will die on this hill#you will have to pry them out of my cold dead hands before you catch me genuinely bashing them#ok thats clems giant critques and complaints out of the way
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unluckilyimnot ยท 4 months ago
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Playing with their hair โ€“ aether, kinich, wanderer, rin, sae, sakura
note: i'm just in love with aether and kinich recently and i needed to write something with aether's hair so why not had some of my fav characters along with them. that's probably not really good but i guess it's cute. ooc
m.list | rules
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Aether is used to your hands suddenly laying on his hair, running through them when you walk behind him โ€“ itโ€™s like an urge, you just have to. You stopped on your track, bowing to kiss his head, inhaling his shampoo a little and hummed at the sweet scent.
โ€œYou took my shampoo again,โ€ you mentioned, not in a warning way, more like you appreciate it. He nodded lightly, delighting himself from the feeling of your hands still running through his hair, scratching his scalp a little before kissing it again.
Sensing that youโ€™re about to go away, his hands take yours gently and his head bent down to look up at you. โ€œAlready leaving ? We can both take a breakโ€ฆโ€ he said, subtly implying you to not stop yet, making you giggle.
โ€œSure, we can.โ€
Thatโ€™s basically how he ended up sitting on the floor between your thighs, watching a movie while you brush his hair for him, kindly letting your fingers run down his beautifully long hair โ€“ trying small, low buns to one high ponytail.
โ€œHaving fun ?โ€ You can hear the smile in his voice, amused as always when he let you enjoy his hair more than he does.
โ€œAlways.โ€ you said while kissing his nose from above, hiding the tv from his sight for a mere second but he still whines at you for doing so. Such a crybaby.
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Kinich sighs as he feels your hands examining his hair again. โ€œWould you stop doing that ?โ€
He knows youโ€™re not doing this to annoy him, yet it always kind of stresses him to picture you scanning his scalp without any invitation to do so. He also knows that you donโ€™t care about what he says, continuing to play with his hair while you swipe away some dandruff here and there.
โ€œWhatโ€™s the matter,โ€ you talked back, seemingly frustrated. โ€œYou never say anything when itโ€™s to help you fall asleep.โ€ you argued, feeling really satisfied when he doesnโ€™t find anything to say after that. It for sure helps a lot, he canโ€™t argue with that, but he really hoped you could realize that it works all the time and not only when he wants it to โ€“ which means he was getting sleepy, slightly closing his eyes while he still had a lot to do.
A satisfied sigh escaped his lips before he could hold it in and you hummed teasingly. Your hands moved from his head to his chest, your arms caging him against you and you laid your head on top of his. โ€œTired already ?โ€
โ€œShut it.โ€ he sounded harsh but he still rested against your chest as well, feeling at peace being so close to you. He wasnโ€™t really tired but if you let him, Kinich would for sure appreciate some quality time with his head in your chest and your hands in his hair. Not that heโ€™ll say it to you.
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Wanderer honestly never mind when you ask him if you can play with his hair, heโ€™s usually already busy and not moving so someone touching his hair while studying doesnโ€™t change much for him. He wonโ€™t say that it doesnโ€™t make it easy to concentrate since he, sometimes, tends to focus on this more than on the words written in front of him but he still appreciates how peaceful it makes him feel when heโ€™s particularly worried or stressed.
Your hand running through his short strands of hair takes him somewhere else where he doesnโ€™t need to worry as much, he likes it, even if he would never be physically capable of telling you.
โ€œYouโ€™re braiding it ?โ€ he asks, half absent in his question โ€“ he just wanted to confirm the feeling of your fingers brushing past his cheeks repeatedly. You hummed softly in response, leaving the braid dying the second you let it go since his hair was too short to handle it. It doesnโ€™t discourage you though, and before he can ask what youโ€™ll do next, he can already feel your steady movement back to the same scheme and a soft chuckle left his lips.
โ€œYou want me to stop ?โ€ you asked under your breath, probably still concentrated on what you were doing but still caught his sigh.
โ€œNo, itโ€™s fine. Go on.โ€ he assured before stepping back again into his study, more than relaxing by this short break.
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Rin loves movie dates to his core, but it always gets him when you start touching his hair in the middle of the movie. It's like he's never getting used to it and he's jolting a bit every single time, making you chuckle. But you always kiss his head as an excuse after.ย 
There's something relaxing when your fingers start to twirl around his short hair, making him wonder who appreciates it the most between you and him. Because he for sure loves it.ย 
His mind drifts away easily despite himself and how badly he wants to follow the movie. He always finds some way to lean into you, craving for more like a cat and more often than not, he ends up laying on top of you.ย 
โ€œDon't fall asleep this time Rin,โ€ you joke while scratching his head playfully. He simply nodded, absorbed in the movie more than you gave him credit for. He just didn't want you to stop.
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Sae hates it when he feels your hands finding his hair in the middle of the day. He spends quite some time styling his hair in the morning, even if it doesnโ€™t look like it, and you being nearby automatically becomes a danger for that.
Not that he doesnโ€™t like you touching his hair, heโ€™s fond of it, he wishes he could die with you touching his hair, but not during the day. So as soon as he feels it, he immediately gets up and warns you. โ€œPlease donโ€™t.โ€
But he knows it can't be helped and soon your lips meet his, kissing him sweetly โ€“ your successful way to distract him โ€“ so you can end up with your hands reaching the hair in his neck. Twirling your fingers around it, pulling ever so slightly to annoy him but he still lets you. Not without a sigh against your lips, but he knows damn well he can't hold you back when you're determined to do something.ย 
He wishes he could keep his hair pretty for the day at least once in a while but he can't blame you ; both of you like it very much. He can forget his image for yet another day if that means he can appreciate the relaxing feint of your fingernails on his scalp. Even if lately it's starting to be everyday, he won't mention it โ€“ or not seriously.ย 
Your smile is more precious than some good hair day.ย 
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Sakura still isn't used to you touching his hair, he hasn't been used to gentle gestures in his life before coming hereย  โ€“ย  especially regarding his looks. The second your hands find his hair, he flinches by reflex even if he knows that itโ€™s only you around him. He doesnโ€™t turn you down anymore though since you always let him know how you love his hair, for the color or the fluffiness ; itโ€™s just the best thing in the word and it got to be your boyfriendโ€™s hair. You must be blessed.ย 
You still try not to frighten him too much, and start by touching his shoulders then going up to his neck and finally the hair in the nape of it. Twirling it lightly with your fingers and youโ€™re sure to catch him snapping his head to you with a blush.ย 
โ€œWhat are you doing ?!โ€ he asked as always, flustered but not telling you to stop anyway which made you smile sweetly.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m playing with your hair ? You want me to stop ?โ€ you tilted your head to the side, trying to act cute and confused so he doesnโ€™t have the heart to tell you no. And with a resigned look but his brows still frowned, he compiled without adding anything.Itโ€™s a win, once again.ย 
You then slowly but surely brush through all his hair, tossing it one side to another, mixing the two colors together then separating it again like a puzzle. Thatโ€™s something you grew to love, separating his hair for him and thatโ€™s also your best excuse to touch it even when thereโ€™s people around. Even if heโ€™s not fond of it.
He tends to lay a bit in your hand when you do so, or when you stop your hand in his hair, quietly liking the feeling now that youโ€™ve given him some time. Not that heโ€™ll say it to you, never, but he doesnโ€™t need to for you to know. Itโ€™s just like you to notice how he relaxes around you and when you do it. Thereโ€™s a small smile on your lips when he tries to catch your eyes but looks away instantly, blushing again, and it makes you wonder when heโ€™ll stop blushing around you.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re cute, Haruka,โ€ you said, brushing away his bang to kiss his forehead. And without a second of hesitation โ€“ when in fact yes, but you tried to ignore it โ€“ย  he was arguing with you about how he is NOT cute, simply proving your point again and again.
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Let me know if you like it !
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mlyscha ยท 2 months ago
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โ ๐’Ÿ๐–บ๐–ฟ๐—Ž๐–ผ? โž
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( ENHYPEN โ”€โ”€ ๐’ป๐—ผ๐—ฟ. ๐“ฃIKTOK. ) ยป โ„๐—‡ ๐—๐—๐—‚๐–ผ๐— . . . you came across a trend where you say "dafuc" after every single sentence that comes out of your mouth. ๐—€๐–พ๐—‡๐—‹๐–พ : crack, trendy. ๐“Œ๐–บ๐—‹๐—‡๐—‚๐—‡๐—€๐—Œ! none. ( ๐—๐–ผ. 16OO ) ๐“ฎ๐˜…๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ' โ€ฆ ๐—‡๐—ˆ๐— ๐—‰๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐–ฟ๐—‹๐–พ๐–บ๐–ฝ, ๐–พ๐—‡๐—€๐—…๐—‚๐—Œ๐— ๐—‚๐—Œ ๐—‡๐—ˆ๐— ๐—†๐—’ ๐—†๐—ˆ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—‹-๐—…๐–บ๐—‡๐—€๐—Ž๐–บ๐—€๐–พ เผ˜ . ๐’ป! ๐—‹๐–พ๐–บ๐–ฝ๐–พ๐—‹.
๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ-๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜๐—ฒ. oh my god. oh my god oh my gooooddd thank you guys for all the support on my last postsโ—(แต”แ—œแต”)โ—œi'm so happy and thankful <3 also, i've never had crumbl cookie before so idk if riki's part is accurate or not but... ๐Ÿ˜œ
๐—๐—๐–บ๐—‡๐—„ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—๐—๐–พ ๐—Œ๐—Ž๐—‰๐—‰๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—! โ™ก ๐—…๐—‚๐—„๐–พ&๐—‹๐–พ๐–ป๐—…๐—ˆ๐—€&๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—†๐—†๐–พ๐—‡๐—.
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๐’ฝeeseung ( ํฌ์Šน )
"OKAY, SO, MY BOYFRIEND IS gonna rate these sylvanian families i got this week, dafuc," you spoke to the camera while holding a small box filled with the little cute characters. heeseung nodded to the camera, waving at it. "alright, pick one from this box and rate them," "okay-" "dafuc!" "wha... okay, this one is... a rabbit..?" you nodded. "yes, it is," "um... i'll rate this a..." "dafuc!" your boyfriend looks at you funny, frowning as a grin began to spread across his face. "what are you doing?" "what? dafuc..." "there! why do you keep saying that?" "saying what? i am just making you rate my new sylvanian families, babe," "you're playing with me," "dafuc!- no i'm not, dafuc," heeseung threw the little rabbit and it landed in the box you were holding. "babe! dafuc?! rate my-" "i know what you're doing, you little thing-" "AH!" you squealed when your boyfriend suddenly jumped against your body, holding you close and giving your neck subtle bites. and then he would say something like: "yeah, dafuc, dafuc!" with that big grin of his while hearing your laughter.
๐’ฟongseong ( ์ œ์ด )
"HEY GUYS, SO, MY BOYFRIEND is gonna rate and review my new purse! dafuc. i bought her yester-" "what was that?" jongseong snapped his head at you after the sudden change in your tone. "i don't know what you are talking about," you held his shoulders, moving him to fit the camera's frame better. "okay, anyway guys, i bought this beautiful purse yesterday and i'm obsessed! dafuc!" he ignores. "just to clarify some things: this purse is y/n's boyfriend sponsored, 'kay?" you rolled your eyes behind him, hearing his amused chuckle. "okay, this purse is nice and feels good quality," "what else? dafuc!" "um..." ignores again, just giving you a amused and subtle side eye. "the colour is great and it might fit lots of things in here..." he analyses the purse's inside. "it's cute and it suits you really well, i'm glad i were part of this," in a comic way, jongseong bowed at the camera, giving your purse back to you acting in the same way.
you ended up ending the video after a brief goodbye; "babe, didn't you notice anything off?" "mhm? what exactly?" "ugh... nothing..." you were just about to walk out of the room when you heard your boyfriend's shout: "dafuc!" "babe!"
๐’ฟaeyun ( ์ œ์ดํฌ )
JAEYUN IS ALWAYS AMUSED BY everything you do. you know that videos of golden retrievers just adoring their owner? that's definitely him. "and today my beautiful boyfriend- "it's me!" his aussie accent echoed, making you giggle a little. "anyway, yeah, he's gonna review this new lip gloss i bought a few days ago, dafuc! here you go." you handed him the lip gloss. "what should i rate?" "um... the smell, the feel..." "oh, okay," "dafuc!" "mhm... i like the smell, it is not very fruity but still sweet, is good." the gave the camera a thumbs up. "can you apply it so i can taste it and feel it?" "sure, dafuc." you couldn't ignore jaeyun's pouty face while waiting for you to apply it. "can i kiss you now? please, please, pleeeeeasee?" "yeah," you giggled, cupping his cheeks. "dafuc," you spoke before smacking his lips. "that's all?" "mhm-hm," you nodded. "how petty," he complained. jaeyun licked his lips tasting the lip gloss. "mhm... is not that good actually," "it isn't?! dafuc?"
suddenly your boyfriend just stared at you, confused yet curious about your actions. "what? dafuc...?" "there! why do you keep saying that?~" he whined while giggling, hugging you right after realising you were playing with him. "you're so silly, y'know that?"
๐“ˆunghoon ( ์„ฑํ›ˆ )
"HEY BABES" FIRST SIDE EYE. "so, today i brought my boyfriend and he's gonna rate some new clothing i bought this week; dafuc!" "y/n," "mhm?" "why do you call your followers 'babes'?" "tsk, it's just a pet name, you're my ultimate baby, 'kay? dafuc..." you smiled at him and you noticed a small smirk appearing on the corner of his lips; even blushing a little. you chuckled before speaking: "okay, so the first clothing piece is this cute skirt~ dafuc~" "isn't it way too short?" "no is not, feel the fabric and rate it bae, dafuc." second side eye. "it is still short but is cute and suits you really well, i like it." sunghoon nodded while analysing the skirt. "'kay, and...? dafuc," "i rate it a 5/10." "alright," you nodded your head, agreeing with him. "fair enough, dafuc," third side eye. "this next piece is one of my favourites, it is so pretty and ugh, perfect, dafuc." you hid it before bringing it out. "are you ready; dafuc?" fourth side eye followed by a subtle nod. "yes i am, dafuc...?" he mimicked you, kind of confused making you giggled. "tadaaaa~ dafuc~" a beautiful flowy dress was revealed. "it is indeed pretty, i like it baby, 9.5/10." "oh~ dafuc!" and that was his last side eye before the confrontation.
"why'd you keep saying that earlier?" "that...? what?" "the dafuc thing." "it is just a trend babe, like a joke, you know?" you spoke between a fit of laughter. "oh... yeah, i knew it." he pursed his lips, giving you a very last side eye. โ€• he'll probably search the definition of this word a few minutes later.
๐“ˆunoo ( ์„ ์šฐ )
"HI EVERYONE, SO, TODAY MY boyfriend is going to review and rate some of the halloween costumes i've worn over the years, let's get started; dafuc!" sunoo sides eye you for a second, kind of annoyed by your sudden shout, but kept smiling. you abled the green screen video on the tiktok camera and began to search for your halloween costume photos. "alright, so this is the first one, dafuc!" sunoo just looks at you with a curious but amused big grin, almost like he was laughing at your silly action. "um, i would rate this costume an... 8? i think 8.5, it's not good but it's not bad either." he shrugged and you nodded, agreeing with him.
you replaced the last picture with another one, a different costume. "alright babe, i love this costume i think i ate this fit up so rate it carefully, dafuc...!" "um..." he sides eyes you, confused this time by another one of your shouts. "i think i like it...? it's actually really cute, i lied, i like it so much; i actually loved it, babe, oh my god you look so good in this dress, wow..." "awn... thank you babe~ dafuc~" you heard sunoo sigh before covering the camera with his hand. "okay, what are you doing right now?" "what'd you mean?" you pretended to be actually intrigued. "dafuc?" "that! that! why are you saying that after everything you say? should i do it too?"
๐’ฟungwon ( ์ •์› )
"HI GUYS, SO TODAY I brought my boyfriend; say hi, dafuc..." you whispered. "oh, yeah, hi!" jungwon waved at the camera, showing off his dimples while smiling. "and today wonnie' gonna rate my cooking skills, dafuc! because i made a-" "wait," your boyfriend's fit of laughter began to echo. "what was that? the- the- 'dafuc!' thing?" "i don't know what you are talking about," you brush it off. "um, so, i made a beautiful and delicious cheesecake, 'kay, baby, taste it~ dafuc." he stops laughing and cuts a slice of it and takes a spoonful. "mhm! i'ts very good!" "really?! thank you, wonnie, dafuc!" jungwon starts laughing again and you knew why, but kept your poker face. "what? something wrong with the cheesecake?" "not with the cheesecake, but with you, baby," finishing taking a few sips on his water, he looks at you after almost chocking on his dessert. "you are so weird with this dafuc thing..." "um... okay? anyway, how much would you rate it? dafuc." "out of ten?" "yeah, out of ten dafuc," "a nine." he shrugs. "WHAT? WHY DAFUC?" "because the one who made this is weird," "you're done, jungwon." "... aren't you gonna say the word?"
๐“‡ikiย ( ๋‹ˆํ‚ค )
"HEY Y/NNIES, SO, TODAY I brought my boyfriend and we are going to rate this week's crumbl cookies, are you ready baby? dafuc..." "yeah," he nods, checking himself out on the camera. "stop checking yourself out, dafuc?" riki sighs, sitting back on his chair. "are you excited, babes?" "i actually am, i've never had these i just saw them on my for you page sometimes, so..." "yeah, riki never had these so.. let's get started i guess; dafuc." riki gives you a discreet side eye, squinting his eyes at the camera mocking you while you opened the box. "and for our today's crumbl of the week we have... chocolate chip, a... butter cake? i think it is; a peanut butter one, the original pink sugar cookie, a strawberry cupcake and the new york cheesecake cookie, dafuc!" "what was that?" "what do you mean?" you whisper, kind of ignoring him.
"okay baby, which one you want to try first? dafuc!" side eye. "um... this one...?" he points to the strawberry cupcake flavoured cookie. "alright, this is the strawberry cupcake, dafuc." you handed him the cookie, waiting for his reaction. riki bit it and handed the cookie back to you. "what do you think?" you asked after taking a bite out of it. "i dunno..." he shrugs, scrunching his nose. "'kay guys, i forgot to mention riki doesn't really like these sugary things โ€• slash โ€• cookies, so... dafuc, yeah, but, how'd you rate it?" "4 dafucs and a half."
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ยฉ ๐“ช๐ฆ๐ž๐ฅ๐ข๐“ฎ, ๐—บ๐—น๐˜†๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฎ ๐—Œ๐“ฝ๐“พ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐—ˆ๐“ผ. โ‹† 24.
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mr-ribbit ยท 8 months ago
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something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.
my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"
similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that
even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:
it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"
it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery
it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party
it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted
it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party
like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans
but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!
no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.
important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.
even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.
my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out
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kestalsblog ยท 11 months ago
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Basic Tips to Improve Your Writing
I used to read a lot of unprofessional writing online, and through that endeavor, I started mentally compiling different qualities that turned me off to people's work right away. I'm sharing some of my thoughts about ways to improve your writing so others don't click off your work right away!
-Change paragraphs when different characters are speaking.
-In that same thread, remember to make new paragraphs and not have one giant block of text. This isn't only discouraging for some readers, but actually physically impossible to read for those who are visually impaired.
-Learn grammar. Sorry, but there is no way around this one. For example, commas aren't just for aesthetic appeal or your personal choice, and it will turn some readers away if your writing is littered with grammatical errors. You can't break the rules for creative purposes if you don't even know them, and the difference is generally apparent.
-Remember the narration style you've chosen. For example, if you're writing in third person limited, you can't think outside the mind of your main character. Don't jump suddenly to the thoughts of other characters or an all-knowing, omniscient voice.
-Slow down. Each word matters, so try not to think of writing as "I must get from Point A to Point B," but "I must get from Point A to Point B beautifully."
-Avoid repeating the same word or phrase too much, especially within the same paragraph. There are exceptions in dialogue, of course. (It's sweet when writers acquire their own personalized phrasings that mark their voice, but I have turned away from works where the exact same line just kept coming up again and again).
-Don't forget about setting. You might be able to imagine where your characters are, but no one else can if you don't let them know.
-Use a consistent verb tense.
-Your characters are not you and generally shouldn't always be mouthpieces for you to share your own values and thoughts.
-Your characters should sound distinctly different from each other, including their talking styles.
-Don't bog the reader down with too much description, and make sure the description you do have is realistic. Think about it. In the morning, do you wake up, go to the mirror, and think to yourself, "I looked at my shaggy dark hair and emerald green eyes"? Nobody thinks that way about their own appearance, and it feels like a forced way to let the reader know what the main character looks like.
-Also, related, there's no need to start tossing out every character trait for each character if it's not relevant to the story.
-Last, show some passion and excitement for your own work. Make sure the language embodies that passion because if you don't even care about your writing, who will?
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valeriele3 ยท 8 months ago
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โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
๐’ฎ๐‘’๐“๐’ป-๐’œ๐“Œ๐’ถ๐“‡๐‘’ ๐ป๐‘œ๐“ƒ๐“€๐’ถ๐’พ ๐’ฎ๐“‰๐’ถ๐“‡ ๐‘…๐’ถ๐’พ๐“
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
โœŽ Sorry for the somewhat rushed ending! ^^;
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
Messages.
Idle chats.
You were answering them like normal. Sometimes even giggling on the messages
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
You log in, check your messages, answer them if there's one, do daily tasks, and maybe farm, then log out. That was your daily routine in HSR.
However, you begin to notice how much more frequent the chats are. After assigning an assignment, you get a new message. 'Oh well. Free jades," you thought.
Every time you beat an enemy, boss, or do anything in the game, you will notice a new message.
'Maybe it was an update? Or a bug?' You brushed it all off and thought nothing of it.
You would answer all of them wholeheartedly; after all, you also noticed that if the character liked what you said, you'd receive more Stellar Jades.
You'd talk about it with your friends, but they'd respond with "I wish", "Oh shut up~ Don't make me hope", and "Hm? Is your game bugged?? Or is mine bugged? I don't get any of those benefits..So unfair."
You try to check the dev logs to see if there was an update regarding the messaging feature, but whenever you try to look at them, your computer freezes.
'No matter, I can just check using my phone.' No luck; it also freezes.
'Maybe my tablet?' Still the same.
Frustrated, you ask one of your friends to look into it. "There's no update or any fixes on it, Y/N. Maybe you should report it; your game might really be bugged."
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
Deciding to report it, you open up Bug Report, but then your screen freezes again.
It then opens up the messages, and you read the following words:
| Hey
| Please don't do it.
| It took such a long time to break the code, you know.
| Hey
| Are you still there?
| Oh
| Right
The messaging bubble pops up.
| You can type now.
"W-What.." You stare at your screen dumbfounded.
Reaching out to your keyboard, hoping it won't work and choices will pop up, you press a random key, and it works
Startled, you immediately plugged out the cables on your computer, causing it to shut down.
You grab your phone and start messaging one of your friends. Before you could hit send, the screen blackened, and then in the next second, it lit up with a notification.
"Hey, we were in the middle of a conversation."
"Why did you suddenly leave?"
Your hand trembles. 'Shit, how..How did it get to my phone too..'
"I know I like reading self-aware au's but I didn't want it to actually be true!" You scream, throwing your phone across the room.
You can hear it dinging with new message after new message.
You decide to leave your room for a bit to calm down.
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
"Ok..Be calm..I'm probably dreaming, right?"
"There's no way this kind of thing will actually happen in real life."
"I need to think about this rationally. I could try to get my phone and computer fixed..Maybe I accidentally got a bug."
"Oh, my tablet too..It probably has the same bug.."
"Then, uhm, should I tell them about this? No, maybe..Agh! This is so frustrating..!"
After going back and forth, you decided to sell your gadgets instead of trying to repair them. Buying new ones is much cheaper than trying to get them fixed.
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
The first month was alright. You also stopped playing HSR just in case something of the sort would happen again.
However, everything changed when you awoke to your notifications going off like crazy.
ใ€Lukaใ€‘
| Hey! Y/N, wanna come watch my tournament this week?
ใ€Qingqueใ€‘
| Y/N
| This is urgent. Come toย Exalting Sanctum
| Watch me go against this pro. I'm sure with your attendance I'll easily win.
ใ€Robinใ€‘
| Y/N, would you like to come watch my concert?
| Don't worry! I made sure that you'd get the best seat.
ใ€Sundayใ€‘
| Y/N. Do me a favor and attend Robin's concert, will you?
| If you don't..
| Well, it'll certainly make her sad. As for me, it's best you don't know.
ใ€Arlanใ€‘
| Hello, Y/N
| Would you like to accompany me with walking Peppy?
ใ€Bladeใ€‘
| Come.
ใ€Bailuใ€‘
| Y/N!
| I have made a huge discovery!
| Meet me at Aurum Alley!
ใ€Mฬตฬฝฬ›ฬŽฬƒฬŠฬ„อ‹อ„ฬ‘ฬ‡ฬผฬ˜ฬญอŽอ“ฬ˜ฬ˜iฬตอ‚ฬกอŽอ…ฬจฬ–ฬฎอ‰ฬบฬฃฬกsฬดอ‚ฬ‰ฬฬ…อ’ฬšฬ†อ อ ฬ„ฬอฬ„ฬ‹ฬฐอ…อœhฬตฬŒอ€อ‰ฬนฬ–ออŽฬฑฬญฬณฬฐฬ˜aฬตฬอ˜ฬ†ฬŒฬ€อ‘ฬŠฬ„ฬ„อŒฬ•อ—ฬ“ฬŒฬšฬงฬจอ”ฬฃฬ˜ฬฎฬปใ€‘
| Cฬทฬพอ‘ออ‹อŠฬ•ฬฬ€ฬ›อ‡ฬฌฬฅฬผฬฒฬ™ฬ อ“ฬญฬบฬฑฬปฬŸอ–ฬœaฬทอ„ฬฬฬพอฬ„อ˜ฬกฬจฬจฬคฬซอ”ฬจฬผฬ—ฬซฬชฬŸฬกฬฐอ…nฬธอŠฬอ’ฬšฬ‚อ—ฬ€ฬอฬ”อ†ฬ†ฬ•ฬ•ฬŽฬชฬฑฬปฬœฬปฬกฬบ ฬทฬ€ฬ‡ออ‹อฬ›ฬ‹ฬŒฬ‚อ’ฬอ‘ฬฬปฬŸyฬดอ†ฬ•อ˜อ’ฬˆอ’อ‘อ‹อออ†ฬ’ฬ‚ฬ“ฬšฬฎoฬธอŒอฬˆฬฉฬซฬฐฬคอ…uฬทฬฬปฬ—อ‰ฬฅฬบอ•อ‰อ”ฬ ฬฏอœอ‡ฬญฬ– ฬตอ‘ออ–ฬฒฬผฬฅhฬตฬ‡ฬ†ฬšอŒฬ„อ˜อฬ‘ฬ‚ออ„อƒฬ•ฬŸอ“eฬทฬ…อ›ฬ‚ฬ•ฬ’อ’อœอ–ฬฅฬœaฬถอ†อ‘ฬŠอŠฬŠอฬฬฬ‚ฬˆฬ‰ฬพฬซฬนฬงอœอ‰rฬถอ›ฬ‘อŠอŒอฬŽอŽฬซ ฬดฬพอƒอ„ฬ€ฬ›อฬ€ฬ‚ฬ€อ’ออ“ฬขอ‰ฬฎอ‡ฬžฬฌฬขฬชอ”อ“อ…ฬฆmฬดฬฝอ‹ฬฝฬ‡อ›ฬอ‘อŒฬƒอ‘ฬŠฬคฬ™อŽeฬทฬ”อฬฬ”อ€ฬ’ฬ•อŠอ‚ฬ”ฬšฬฆอš.ฬตฬšฬฬšอƒอ‚ฬพฬŒฬ‚ฬŒอŽอ“ฬชฬฅอ…อ.ฬตฬ“อ„อƒอŠฬ†ฬ•อƒฬ‘อฬˆฬฬ„อ€ฬŸอ‰อ•อˆฬœอŽฬปฬจฬ—อ“ฬฏฬœฬœฬฉ?ฬตฬ†อŠอŠฬ‡อŒฬ™ฬ อš
ใ€Aventurineใ€‘
| Why're you ignoring my calls and texts?
| Is the money not enough for you?
ใ€Pelaใ€‘
| The Tale of the Winterlands original artbook sold out in 1 second again
| But
| I was fast enough to get you a copy too
| Don't worry. I'm messaging the right person this time
ใ€Natashaใ€‘
| Y/N, did your cold get better?
โœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒโœฒ๊˜ ๊˜ ๊˜โœฒ
You stare at your phone, frozen. Even as you were sitting there staring at it, the messages continued to flood nonstop.
It
Was
Nonstop
Even if it's on silent mode and DND, you can still hear it dinging.
At one point, the messages started appearing in all the social apps that you use.
Hell, it even started appearing in your smart fridge
You deleted and deactivated everything. Throwing away any and all sorts of electronics that could potentially be used for apps.
But you could still hear it.
Even the sound of the doorbell ringing, the kettle whistling, or your telephone ringing makes you panic. 'What if that's them?' You always think
Every creak, every shuffle, and every little sound makes you paranoid.
What if they cross over to Earth? What will you do? You can't run from them. Even if you do, they'll be able to find you easily.
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ahundredtimesover ยท 1 year ago
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I Want You to Stay (03) | JJK
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Pairing:ย Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags:ย boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slowย slowย burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapterย (Series)ย Warnings:ย foul/explicit language;ย alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries;ย power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING);ย arts and business/property devt talk thatโ€™s probably inaccurate;ย commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters;ย cold and detached JK; explicit sexual contentย (specific warnings stated per chapter)ย (18+)
Chapter Word count:ย 14.8k
Series Masterlist
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Status:ย Ongoing
Series summary:ย Working for Jungkook isnโ€™t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnโ€™t smile, he doesnโ€™t appreciate you, and he gives youย tooย much work. It doesnโ€™t help that heโ€™s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youโ€™ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider.ย And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlistย ๐ŸŽถ:ย on the way home
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A/N:ย I've been thoroughly enjoying your asks and replies about this story (sorry I canโ€™t get to each one!) I see that a lot can relate to what OC's going through and I'm sending you hugs! ๐Ÿค— Again, I appreciate your love and excitement. And uh... Golden JK in that white tank. YUP. ๐Ÿคญ Hoping you enjoy this one!
And as always, my biggest thanks toย @wonwoonlightย  ๐Ÿฅฐ
PS. If I canโ€™t tag you, pls fix your settings!
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The spring in your step tightens the closer you get to Jungkookโ€™s penthouse the next Monday. Walking here to start another week, thereโ€™s a mix of emotions youโ€™re carrying with you.ย 
You got to spend a proper weekend. On Friday, you made yourself some cold noodles and then watched a movie with Jimin and Soomin on video call, whoโ€™d said theyโ€™ll be visiting you in a week. You took the train to Daegu on Saturday, went to the park, then stayed in to enjoy Min-wooโ€™s cooking and the girlsโ€™ stories about school and their youth clubs. You then buried yourself in your motherโ€™s embrace as you told her about your week. You didnโ€™t want to say too much, not wanting her to worry that her daughter isnโ€™t being treated well at her job, but you suppose you said enough.ย 
โ€œI wish I was strong enough to protect you from everything,โ€ sheโ€™d told you softly. โ€œAll I can do is just give you hugs and say words of encouragement that might not even mean much.โ€
โ€œAnd you still are, mom. I look forward to being with you because of those hugs. But more than that, you were strong enough to protect me from the bad guys,โ€ youโ€™d assured her. โ€œJungkook is many things but heโ€™s not a terrible person. I can handle him.โ€
And you meant it. He may be hot-tempered sometimes but heโ€™s not evil. But just because he made you go home early last Friday, it also doesnโ€™t mean heโ€™s suddenly redeemed in your mind. Sure, he didnโ€™t email you at all over the weekend unlike last time, but he also still didnโ€™t apologize to you nor show remorse.ย 
Perhaps that small nod after he called you telling you that you could go home was his way of saying sorry, or maybe it just isnโ€™t in his vocabulary. You wonder if Hoseok had told him off but even then, itโ€™s a pretty quick change, if you could call it that.ย 
Regardless, you felt like a human being again these past few days; you just wish Jungkook woke up on the right side of the bed this morning and doesnโ€™t find a reason to complain about you.ย 
Unlocking the door, youโ€™re surprised to hear silence - there are no grunts and deep breaths nor the sound of leather hitting leather from his morning workout. You scan the floor before walking around - a habit youโ€™ve developed after finding that laced underwear last week - and then peep into the door on the right, only to find untouched equipment and no other traces of him.ย 
Youโ€™re in the living room when you hear another door close, prompting you to turn around and see a woman appearing from the hallway on the other side of the penthouse. Her hairโ€™s a bit disheveled and sheโ€™s wearing one of Jungkookโ€™s coats that you saw in his closet.ย 
โ€œUh, who are you?โ€ The woman scoffs, her arms crossed and eyebrows raised now.ย 
Taken aback, you just stare at her, until you realize sheโ€™s not wearing anything underneath so you look away.
You try to make sense of who she is and how you could get out of this situation. You know for a fact that Jungkook doesnโ€™t have a girlfriend, at least thatโ€™s what Lucas had told you, but who knows what Jungkookโ€™s been up to since he got back? There was that red laced underwear from last week after all. Maybe he does sleep around like what Do-hyun said. Maybe this woman just doesnโ€™t know Jungkook has a female assistant. Maybe heโ€™sโ€”
โ€œHey, Iโ€™m talking to you,โ€ she says, sounding more annoyed now.ย 
โ€œOh. Uh, Iโ€™m Mr. Jeonโ€™sโ€”โ€
โ€œSheโ€™s my assistant,โ€ Jungkook answers, catching you off guard, given that you hadnโ€™t noticed him walk in.ย 
Heโ€™s not in his usual workout attire, although him in a white tank top and gray sweatpants with mussed hair somehow seems more overwhelming than him in nothing but gym shorts. You glance at him as he stands next to the woman, whose face suddenly lights up. Not wanting to look at her, you shift your gaze towards the ceiling, trying hard not to look awkward as youโ€™re rooted in place.ย 
The woman looks at you from head to toe and you feel her judging you, assessing you, while Jungkook stands there, yawning and combing his hair with his fingers.
โ€œJust your assistant?โ€ She asks, sounding incredulous.ย 
โ€œYeah. What else would she be?โ€ Jungkook answers nonchalantly. Looking at you, he nods ever so slightly that you almost miss it, another hint of acknowledgement youโ€™d seen last Friday. โ€œJust eggs on toast. And coffee.โ€
โ€œYes, Mr. Jeon,โ€ you say, exhaling the breath you were holding and then walking to the kitchen to start on his breakfast.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t know, another one of your girls? I see you with a new one every time,โ€ she huffs, sounding bitter, but Jungkook doesnโ€™t sound amused.
โ€œWhat are you still doing here?โ€ He asks, walking to where you are then taking the glass of water you prepare for him. โ€œI called a service for you last night.โ€
โ€œI was too tired,โ€ she says, and you donโ€™t miss the sultry tone of her voice now. โ€œYou tired me out, Jungkook. I could barely get off the bed.โ€
โ€œAnd why are you still here?โ€ He asks, clearly not having it with her teasing.ย 
โ€œBecause Iโ€™m still tired,โ€ she smirks, having followed him to the kitchen.ย 
You feel tense once more; you definitely donโ€™t want to be part of this conversation in any way nor be privy to it, especially given what obviously happened between them last night. And especially not with Jungkook looking and sounding the way he does this early Monday morning.
โ€œAnd I was thirsty,โ€ she continues.ย 
He sets his glass down and opens the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of water that he hands over to her.ย 
โ€œUgh, how romantic,โ€ she rolls her eyes, finishing it in a few gulps.ย 
โ€œI have to go to work,โ€ he tells her, frustrated that sheโ€™s being stubborn about not leaving when he no longer seems to want her around.ย 
โ€œActual work, or, you know, work?โ€ She says, gesturing towards you.
You make the mistake of looking at her smug face, the insinuation not lost on you. Itโ€™s insane how she can just make claims like that, and you feel that just like you, Jungkookโ€™s getting pissed.
โ€œCan you just leave?โ€ He says much more sternly now. โ€œI canโ€™t start my day with you still here.โ€
โ€œOoh, how rude,โ€ she giggles. โ€œShouldโ€™ve expected youโ€™d be like that even outside of bed. I like that.โ€
She walks back to the room, leaving you and Jungkook on your own. You continue to work on his eggs while he stands by the counter, rubbing his temples. Youโ€™re unsure if itโ€™s because of her or from last nightโ€™s alcohol, but you get aspirin and also a bottle of energy drink and set them in front of him before returning to preparing his meal.ย 
The woman comes back shortly in last nightโ€™s attire then walks towards Jungkook.
โ€œIโ€™m leaving,โ€ she announces, tilting his chin so he would face her. โ€œIโ€™ll see you again, yeah?โ€
Jungkook turns away and does not respond, leaving her to laugh as if thereโ€™s a joke that only sheโ€™s in on.
โ€œGoing all quiet on me now, huh?โ€ She says. โ€œYou werenโ€™t like that last night. I can still hear your moans, actually. Fuck, they sounded so good and so loud.โ€
You almost hit your finger as you slice the apple, clearly not expecting for this stranger to say something so intimate, knowing thereโ€™s another person in the room with them. You donโ€™t know if she wants to intimidate you for whatever reason or maybe just make you feel uncomfortable. Whatever it is, itโ€™s working, as youโ€™re unable to focus on the task at hand now.ย 
Jungkook still doesnโ€™t say anything, and itโ€™s what prompts her to finally say goodbye.ย 
โ€œFine, Iโ€™ll leave now,โ€ she whines. โ€œBut that was an amazing first time. I hope it wonโ€™t be the last.โ€
Her giggle annoys you for some reason, even more when you mistakenly look her way. Her smug face unnerves you as she holds your gaze while she says, โ€œIโ€™ll see you again, okay? Iโ€™ll make sure youโ€™ll scream my name next time,โ€ the words obviously directed at Jungkook.ย 
She finally exits the penthouse but she doesnโ€™t take the tension with her because in this large apartment with you and him, you feel a little too hot, a little too alert, yet somehow a little too curious.
Jungkook groans now as he finishes his energy drink, and he doesnโ€™t know what heโ€™s more frustrated about - the fact that the woman whose name he doesnโ€™t remember didnโ€™t go home, or that youโ€™d found out about it in the most embarrassing way and heโ€™d done nothing to stop her attempts at making you feel uncomfortable because thatโ€™s definitely what she was doing.ย 
He doesnโ€™t know how it affected you but even he can tell that it wouldnโ€™t have been good. Not that heโ€™s ashamed of his lifestyle but itโ€™s different when you, of all people, get to see what that looks like. You did see the laced underwear on his kitchen floor last week, and he knows you definitely tried to pretend you hadnโ€™t. Perhaps the image of arrogant, playboy Jungkook just solidified in your head and the fact that maybe thatโ€™s what you think of him is making him feel uneasy.ย 
Not that he cares about what you think - he definitely does not - but he just doesnโ€™t want that to affect how you would treat him in a professional sense, as if heโ€™s some reckless man who works too hard and parties much harder, even if thatโ€™s kind of what he does.ย 
The hangover doesnโ€™t help at all; he shouldnโ€™t have chugged that wine while the woman was giving him head, which was amazing, he reminds himself. He just knows he wonโ€™t be seeing her again after this morning because sheโ€™d been stubborn and shameless, and definitely not because of how she spoke to you and the insinuations she made.
โ€œMr. Jeon, your breakfast is ready,โ€ you inform him, breaking him out of his thoughts.ย 
He takes a seat on the table and you sit next to him, taking out your iPad to start your rundown of last Fridayโ€™s meeting and this weekโ€™s schedule.ย 
โ€œSoโ€”โ€
โ€œWait, give me a minute,โ€ he stops you, and he realizes just how little sleep he actually got and heโ€™s gonna have to push through todayโ€™s busy schedule despite feeling physically out of it.ย 
โ€œOkay, sir,โ€ you say softly.
He munches on his toast with his eyes closed, and when he opens them, his gaze falls on you, sitting upright on the chair looking clean and proper in your blush blouse and beige skirt. You seem to be reviewing the reports from last week, your eyebrows scrunched as you scribble on the screen. He knows you took the hours-long trip to and from Daegu over the weekend; the visit, just like any, must have been tiring. Yet you come to his place everyday without fail, ready to do what he needs you to do, and he doesnโ€™t even know if youโ€™ve had anything to eat yet.ย 
โ€œHave you had breakfast?โ€ He asks.
โ€œE-excuse me?โ€
โ€œBreakfast. Have you had it?โ€
โ€œO-oh. Yes, I had some crackers and fruit on the way. I ate on the bus,โ€ you respond.
He remembers your address from your staff profile. You live about 40 minutes from him, almost double if you commute. You come at 6:30 everyday, so he can only imagine what itโ€™s like for you every morning.ย 
โ€œWhy donโ€™t you drive?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t have a car, sir.โ€
โ€œShouldnโ€™t that be part of your contract? Or a benefit of some sort?โ€
โ€œIt isnโ€™t. I believe only the CEOโ€™s assistant does,โ€ you respond.ย 
โ€œBitna has a company car.โ€
โ€œMs. Jung requested that when she was still President.โ€
โ€œThen Iโ€™ll request one for you. It'sโ€ฆ itโ€™s too early. And you canโ€™t always be assured of public transportation. There could be delays. Or an emergency that would require you to drive.โ€
Of course, heโ€™d want you to get a car so that youโ€™re more accessible to him. Just when you thought thereโ€™s actually a bit of his heart working this time, he reminds you why there isnโ€™t.
โ€œThatโ€™s true, but nothing has happened so far. And there are other options should there be,โ€ you say. โ€œI also donโ€™t know how to drive so there is no need, Mr. Jeon. I leave my apartment early enough to make sure I get here on time, and Iโ€™ll let you know if I will be late.โ€
Jungkook just hums, even if thereโ€™s more he wants to know. What about late nights? What if thereโ€™s a storm? Well, he does know - he did see you miss out on taxis and then just walk last Tuesday; he wonders how you got home then, and how many hours of sleep you had after all that.ย 
He lets it go; itโ€™s too early to think about this.
โ€œGood. We can run through the minutes now,โ€ he says.
So you do, stating the points and confirming your actions for each one and then noting down his as well. You try to focus, and youโ€™re able to for the most part, but itโ€™s not easy when he sits just a few feet away from you, with his bare arms propped on the table thatโ€™s just hard to look away from.ย 
Youโ€™ve always liked tattoos on other people, and the art on his right arm looks so delicate and personal; you wonder what someone like him would value enough to ink permanently on his skin. Even his untouched arm is mesmerizing, toned like every other part of him, with beauty marks that you spot as well. It doesnโ€™t help that his slightly long hair keeps falling over his eyes, prompting him to comb them with his fingers every time.ย 
What also doesnโ€™t help are the womanโ€™s words from earlier, as sheโ€™d managed to make you think of Jungkook in a very different way, given her descriptions of how heโ€™d been last night. You donโ€™t know what she intended by doing that, but you didnโ€™t miss her insinuations about your relations with him, which are definitely far from the truth. Learning that heโ€™s rough and loud in bed is also knowledge that you couldโ€™ve done without. Somehow, he sounds like how he looks - expressive of negative emotions, and the type to drain the other person.ย 
He also sounds like the guys youโ€™ve slept with.
The thought alarms you. These are things you shouldnโ€™t be thinking about your boss, about the man who pays you, about the one who makes you miss meals and buses and who makes you angry because of how he treats you.ย 
You try to dispel these ideas by coughing - the loud sound helps, and you also want to distract yourself from how distracted you are at your task because somehow he keeps getting more and more attractive after every glance.ย 
He stands up, and just when you thought heโ€™d be angry after your disruption, he surprises you by placing a glass of water in front of you.
โ€œYou can drink, you know? You can make yourself a cup of coffee. You can even cook yourself breakfast if itโ€™s just crackers you eat in the morning,โ€ he says.ย 
Yes, you think to yourself. Youโ€™ve been wanting to try his coffee because of the fancy machine but breakfast soundsโ€ฆ too domestic.ย 
โ€œThank you, but Iโ€™m okay. I mean, the snacks fill me up just fine.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not proper breakfast, though,โ€ he argues.ย 
โ€œWith all due respect, sir, eating takes time away from all the things I have to do. I manage just fine.โ€
Expecting an annoyed expression from him because you did just imply that you do too much, you instead see the tiniest hint of guilt on his face, as if he actually feels bad that youโ€™re unable to take care of yourself because of him.ย 
โ€œYouโ€™re not a servant, Ms. Cho. Youโ€™re not disallowed to do basic things just because of your job.โ€
โ€œYou have standards, Mr. Jeon,โ€ you say, throwing his words back at him. You donโ€™t expect to see his face fall a little, and youโ€™re surprised that you seem to care. โ€œI need to meet them, and Iโ€™m still familiarizing myself with how you want things done, and that takes time. I donโ€™t mean to imply that you treat me like a servant because you donโ€™t. I justโ€ฆ I want to be able to do things right and Iโ€™m still learning.โ€
The words hit Jungkook. He knows heโ€™d been too critical during these first weeks, and thatโ€™s more because heโ€™s unable to manage the initial attraction that heโ€™s trying so hard to temper. He couldโ€™ve gone on correcting you constructively, with no need for harshness the way he did with Lucas when he started.ย 
Youโ€™ve also been doing this for a few years. Youโ€™ve been working for the VPโ€™s office longer than he has - you know the people and the processes more, yet youโ€™re the one claiming you need to learn and do things right. Even he thinks his father, whom he never thought was the best at looking out for his people, wouldnโ€™t be angry at those below him for irrational reasons. Somehow he thinks heโ€™s worse than his old man now.ย 
But the word sorry isnโ€™t in his vocabulary. Heโ€™d rarely ever said it, and the only reason heโ€™d heard it a lot growing up was because people caused his inconvenience, and not because theyโ€™d hurt his feelings. He doesnโ€™t know what thatโ€™s like - forgiving and wanting to be forgiven. Theyโ€™re foreign to him, but somehow those are what youโ€™re making him want to know.ย 
โ€œIโ€”โ€
โ€œCan we move on, Mr. Jeon?โ€ You interrupt him. โ€œYou have a scheduled check-in with your father before the 8:30 team meeting.โ€
โ€œRight, thatโ€™s today,โ€ Jungkook says, letting go of any form of apology he could muster.ย 
He nods then stands up to head to his bathroom, and you follow shortly after to arrange his outfits for the week. You clean up in the kitchen after and wait for him to come out, with you reflexively walking up to him to fix his tie and make sure all the creases on his clothes are fixed.ย 
Jungkook tries to remain still as you, like everyday, make sure he looks proper. It always took him a long time to get ready because he used to do all this on his own, but with you taking on the unofficial stylist role - which he admits you do a great job at - heโ€™s relieved of that added stress of looking the part of a Vice President. It just also means that every morning, he has to look unaffected as you stand close to him like this, with you tightening his tie and your fingers grazing his clothed chest.
You smell like roses. It feels warm and nostalgic, like itโ€™s familiar but also something new. Itโ€™s refreshing on you, and it wafts through his nose and paralyzes him a little. He tries to hold his breath like always, only briefly glancing at your focused eyes as you make sure he looks impeccable.ย 
Heโ€™s caught off guard when you look up and meet his gaze. He doesnโ€™t react, but he does linger and surprisingly, so do you. He wants to apologize but he doesnโ€™t know how to. He just hopes you feel it somehow with how he looks at you; heโ€™d like to think you do, as you gently bow and step back, taking your things to go down.ย 
You go through his schedule while in the car, noting his dinner meetings and that the food tasting for next monthโ€™s event with the art industry professionals that youโ€™re both organizing has been moved to next week, freeing up his Thursday lunch hour.
โ€œIโ€™ll schedule my visit at Taehyungโ€™s tailor shop that day then,โ€ Jungkook states. โ€œIโ€™ll have a few suits done.โ€
โ€œNoted, Mr. Jeon,โ€ you reply, adjusting his calendar.ย 
He doesnโ€™t say anything after. He takes his leather notebook and sketches like he often does, looking out his window only a few times as heโ€™s engrossed in his drawings. Even with all that he is, you canโ€™t deny Jungkookโ€™s talent. You only know he took an architecture course but you donโ€™t know if he actually practices it.ย 
You start to wonder if Jungkook wanted that to be his profession but couldnโ€™t pursue it because heโ€™s expected to manage the company with his cousin. You wonder if heโ€™d always been into drawing and the arts, if it was an outlet the way reading picture books was for you; youโ€™d wanted to become an illustrator but your mother couldnโ€™t afford drawing classes and that profession just didnโ€™t seem like it could sustain you financially. You wonder what Jungkook thinks when he sketches and what his subjects are, if he feels at peace the way he looks, if he hopes he could just spend his days doing this.ย 
The seeming warmth in your thoughts about this man concerns you, prompting you to turn away from his direction and stare out the window instead. You remind yourself that this is the same person whoโ€™d made the past two weeks miserable for you; he doesnโ€™t deserve warmth from you in any form, even if, for the briefest moment earlier after you fixed his tie, thatโ€™s what you gave him. You learned that heโ€™s quite mesmerizing when he doesnโ€™t talk or when he isnโ€™t scowling. You also learned youโ€™re quite quick to fall into it when you let your guard down a little.ย 
You groan internally. Thereโ€™s a lot you donโ€™t know about him and you donโ€™t really care to know more; what you know is enough to put you off anyway. And so these moments of weakness - of curiosity, of concern -ย  should not happen again.ย 
Except, they do happen, over an hour later after Jungkook returns to his room from his check-in with his father. He sits on his chair, his eyes closed and jaws clenched, unmoving for a good few minutes, and you watch from your seat, wondering what transpired thatโ€™s got him this disturbed.ย 
It happens again an hour later. He moved the team meeting to the afternoon and heโ€™s now furiously typing on his desktop, making calls, sketching, making calls again, then sitting still with his eyes closed once more. Hoseok walks in, merely nodding at you, then enters the room and speaks with the younger man. Jungkook closes the blinds, and youโ€™re left to wonder whatโ€™s going on behind closed doors and whatโ€™s got him angry and frustrated.
You take your chance at finding out when Hoseok emerges, asking him if everythingโ€™s okay, if Jungkook is okay.
โ€œYeah, heโ€™s fine,โ€ Hoseok says, a half smile on display, something youโ€™re only a tad familiar with. โ€œHeโ€™ll manage.โ€
He rushes out, saying he has a meeting to get to, and you nod, glancing at the closed door and blocked window, wondering what troubles Jungkook is handling on his own. If itโ€™s personal, itโ€™s clearly not your business. But if itโ€™s work-related, then it is. Youโ€™re there to make things easier for him, after all. You also donโ€™t want to be surprised and be bombarded by new tasks just in case, so itโ€™s better to know if thereโ€™s something you can help in resolving things as well.
You walk in his room then place the ginger lemon tea on his desk, a common home remedy for hangovers, just in case last nightโ€™s events are still affecting him. You inform him that youโ€™ve sent the reports already for his sign-off, and he responds that heโ€™ll get to them tomorrow.
Glancing at his drink, he halts his typing to look at you.ย 
โ€œDo I look hungover to you?โ€ He asks pointedly.
Itโ€™s clearly not what you meant, but you suppose the insinuation isnโ€™t what he needs right now. You want to be swallowed by the ground. He was already calm towards you, civil even, and now thereโ€™s another reason for him to be upset at you. You wanted to avoid any possibility of that as much as possible, and now youโ€™re here, at the verge of being told off again, just because your stupid brain decided to care the tiniest bit.
โ€œI, uh, no, Mr. Jeon,โ€ you stutter. โ€œI justโ€ฆโ€
You donโ€™t have a reason. Clearly, you canโ€™t tell him that he hasnโ€™t seemed okay all morning - whatever that means - and that just in case itโ€™s last nightโ€™s alcohol affecting him, thereโ€™s a cure. You stare back at him with worry, but instead of challenging or questioning you, he just sits back with his eyes closed again and dismisses you.ย 
โ€œYou may leave,โ€ he instructs.ย 
โ€œWhat about lunch, sir?โ€ You ask.ย 
Youโ€™d never cared before, why the change now?ย 
โ€œIโ€™m fine,โ€ he responds. โ€œCall me when the meetingโ€™s about to start.โ€
Your stubborn self takes the box of biscuits from the coffee table and places it in front of him. Youโ€™re pushing it, you think, but thereโ€™s a meeting heโ€™ll be leading and he canโ€™t be unfocused; when he is, itโ€™s all the worse for you.ย 
He doesnโ€™t react and you walk out. When you enter an hour later to call him, you spot the empty cup and the crumbs on the saucer, and you canโ€™t help the tiny smile that you make internally.
Itโ€™s short-lived though, as that whole afternoon, he acts unusually - he barely makes comments at updates, he doesnโ€™t make eye contact, and doesnโ€™t ask further questions. He just nods when you say youโ€™re heading out at 6PM, giving you no added tasks to keep you from leaving.
You enter his penthouse the next morning to the banging of leather hitting leather, prompting you to jerk from the loud sounds. Heโ€™s grunting and panting heavily, and you just know that whatever it was that transpired yesterday, heโ€™s releasing all his emotions right now, through this.ย 
He exits the gym and walks to the counter where you are, finishing the water you laid for him in three gulps.ย 
โ€œDo you need that tended to?โ€ You ask.ย 
He looks surprised. You gesture towards his hands and he looks at his bruised knuckles; he really let it all out this morning, it seems.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m fine,โ€ he shrugs.ย 
You didnโ€™t think those two words from him would ever make you feel discouraged, but one thing youโ€™ve come to learn about Jungkook is that he easily expresses his anger and frustration towards other people. Itโ€™s when he keeps things in that they seem more serious, and you wonder what words he heard yesterday that might have made him this closed off, this quiet, this much more distant.
But fortunately, your feeling of worry fades with each day that passes, as he slowly returns to his normal self after - the focus, the perpetually serious look, the attention to detail, the sketching on his notebook. Perhaps Jungkook just needed a particular kind of release and heโ€™s maybe handling things better now.ย 
For his sake and yours, you wish the issue has been resolved, otherwise another blow up might happen and that wouldnโ€™t be good for your newfound dynamic thatโ€™s a lot more civil than anything.ย 
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Itโ€™s Thursday when you get a call at 5 in the morning, just as youโ€™ve woken up to get ready for work, and Mr. Riโ€™s voice greets you on the other end.
โ€œHi, ___. How are you this morning?โ€
โ€œHi, Mr. Ri,โ€ you yawn, curious as to why heโ€™s checking up on you this early. โ€œIs everything okay?โ€
โ€œYes,โ€ he hums. โ€œI was instructed by Mr. Jeon to pick you up today.โ€
โ€œWhy would CEO Jeon ask that?โ€ You wonder, as you sleepily walk to the bathroom to wash up.
โ€œHe didnโ€™t. Jungkook did.โ€
You stop on your tracks. You donโ€™t recall being informed about this, nor do you know of any particular reason why you should be at his place so soon.
โ€œOh, uhm, okay. I should be ready inโ€“โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll be there in about 50 minutes,โ€ Mr. Ri interjects. โ€œSleep in a bit more and have some breakfast. Iโ€™ll see you shortly.โ€
You try not to think about what prompted Jungkook to have you picked up, so you focus on getting ready and then whipping yourself some fried rice using the leftover seafood from last night. You wonโ€™t lie, it tastes delicious. It might be that you just havenโ€™t had proper weekday breakfast in a while, but it could also be that youโ€™re energized enough and not pressed for time that youโ€™re able to make this as good as it is.ย 
You decide to bring some to Jungkookโ€™s place just in case you get there late. Sure, Mr. Ri will be driving you, but you donโ€™t know how the traffic is at this time, and this change in schedule is somewhat making you anxious. But then again, thereโ€™s always bread or cereal for him to eat; you just think that a little act of thanks wouldnโ€™t be so bad.
Mr. Ri arrives exactly 50 minutes later and he assures you that heโ€™ll get you to the penthouse in half an hour. You trust him of course; heโ€™s been with the Jeons for decades and he knows these streets like the back of his hand. Seated in the passenger seat, you try to figure out what about today has got your boss a little kinder than usual.ย 
โ€œI arrived five minutes late yesterday,โ€ you wonder out loud. โ€œIs that why? He has a meeting with a local artist in the morning and he doesnโ€™t want me to be late. That should be it. Ugh, stupid,โ€ you groan. โ€œI shouldโ€™ve taken the first bus I saw, but it was so full andโ€“โ€
โ€œ___,โ€ Mr. Ri stops you. โ€œFive minutes isnโ€™t much. Plus, you always arrive 10 minutes before 6:30 and then just wait at the lobby. I donโ€™t know why you do, you could always just go up to the penthouse when you get there, you know?โ€
โ€œNo, I donโ€™t. Mr. Jeon has boundaries and clearly likes keeping his distance. Going to his penthouse before Iโ€™m supposed to be there feels like Iโ€™m intruding,โ€ you argue.
โ€œYouโ€™re literally his assistant, and you go to his bedroom and his closet, fix his things, prepare his mealsโ€ฆ thereโ€™s no intrusion happening,โ€ Mr. Ri counters. โ€œI know the man. Heโ€™ll probably just look at you curiously then go about his routine.โ€
โ€œWell, since you know him so well, then why did he have me picked up this morning?โ€
Thereโ€™s a brief silence before the man next to you responds.
โ€œHe did note that you were late for the first time, but that wasnโ€™t his issue,โ€ Mr. Ri says, appeasing you before you react negatively and think that your tardiness was a big deal. โ€œHe asked if I knew how you got to Hoseokโ€™s place before and I said you would just take the bus; it was closer to your place so it was fine. They have someone to make his breakfast, too, so you didnโ€™t need to come early; plus, you only went every Monday.โ€
โ€œWhat a change, huh?โ€ You attempt to poke fun at yourself and the new arrangement youโ€™re in.ย 
Not that youโ€™re complaining; you know of other executive assistants who do much more for their bosses and what you have with Jungkook isnโ€™t even that bad. But it is quite the shift compared to what you did for Hoseok. Youโ€™ve figured out your own routine, though. And the commute isnโ€™t always terrible, for as long as youโ€™re not one of the unlucky ones, given the recent incidents.ย 
โ€œItโ€™s quite the change. I donโ€™t think he realized that until yesterday. He also asked me if I know if you eat properly in the morning. Maybe he thinks you donโ€™t?โ€
โ€œIโ€™ve skipped mealsโ€ฆโ€ you trail. โ€œAnd well, I told him that I just eat crackers on the bus. Maybe he thinks Iโ€™m losing focus some days.โ€
โ€œMaybe heโ€™s just concerned.โ€
You snort at the absurdity of the statement.ย 
Mr. Ri sighs. He knows that Jungkook hasnโ€™t been his best self since he arrived in Seoul, and especially towards you. Heโ€™s noticed the young manโ€™s indifference, the occasional passive remark, the frustrated looks, and the tension every morning. Heโ€™s noticed your faraway eyes, too, your constant anxiety, and unusual lack of confidence in your usual tasks, given that you look to be second-guessing everything you do.ย 
As someone whoโ€™s worked for the Jeons for so long and whoโ€™d watched Jungkook grow up, heโ€™s used to the detachment, but it was always because the young man often lived in his own head. There are always lots of thoughts and ideas, and lots of feelings he keeps bottled in.ย 
But heโ€™s also seen Jungkookโ€™s kindness that he doesnโ€™t always show, the guilt and anger that restrain him from expressing his emotions, and the care that he seems to put a brake on when he shows too much of it to someone, and so it isnโ€™t much of a surprise to him to him when the young man gave this specific instruction to pick you up, not just today but everyday moving forward.
โ€œThe news on the radio reported on the robberies and complaints of sexual harassment against female commuters last night,โ€ Mr. Ri continues. โ€œThey attack at any hour now. Iโ€™m sure thatโ€™s why. He wants me to drive you home everyday, too.โ€
โ€œMr. Ri, thatโ€™s too much,โ€ you protest. โ€œThatโ€™s not part of my contract and it isnโ€™t his responsibility.โ€
โ€œMaybe, precisely why I think heโ€™s concerned. It isnโ€™t about making sure youโ€™re not late to work or anything. Heโ€™s worried that something might happen to you. And I agree. It isnโ€™t safe, ___.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not safe for me anywhere. I justโ€ฆ itโ€™s too much,โ€ you sigh. โ€œI donโ€™t need this kind of service. Iโ€™m not entitled to it.โ€
โ€œHeโ€™ll insist though. Will you argue with him over your own security? I mean, itโ€™s either this or heโ€™ll pay for your driving lessons and then request for a car for you to use.โ€
You sigh, knowing he has a point. You donโ€™t think you deserve it but you also canโ€™t deny that the concern makes you feel a certain kind of way for him; gratitude, for one, and something else you canโ€™t exactly name.ย 
โ€œOkay,โ€ you say softly.ย 
โ€œGood. Itโ€™s about time he makes it up to you,โ€ he chuckles. โ€œBoyโ€™s been a brat these past weeks. I wanted to just knock some sense into him.โ€
โ€œHmm, not like I expected any less,โ€ you huff. โ€œHe just looked grumpy or disinterested during the times Iโ€™ve seen him before. Unhappy people like that arenโ€™t always the kindest. Has he always been that way?โ€
โ€œI wouldnโ€™t say he has. I mean, he just wasnโ€™t joyful or expressive, not like his brother. Jungkook liked to keep to himself; Hoseok often tried to push him out of his comfort zone but the boy wouldnโ€™t really budge. I think as he grew up, that just amplified. People who prefer being alone have their reasons, donโ€™t they?โ€
They do. You know this just like anyone, perhaps as much as Jungkook. Itโ€™s comfortable being alone; thereโ€™s no one to hurt you and no one you could hurt. You wonder if his reason is the same, and if, like you, he feels the loneliness creep in every once in a while.ย 
You nod in silence and the conversation doesnโ€™t continue until you arrive at Jungkookโ€™s building. You have five minutes to get to his unit and you get there in three. When you enter, you hear grunting from the gym, and itโ€™s shortly after when he exits and drinks the glass of water on the counter.
โ€œWhatโ€™s that?โ€ He gestures at the plastic container next to you.
โ€œItโ€™s fried rice. I made it this morning because I had time to eat breakfast at home,โ€ you say, softly smiling and then bowing at him to show your gratitude. Whatever his reason is, the act was appreciated.ย 
โ€œAnd youโ€™re gonna eat again?โ€
โ€œI was actuallyโ€“โ€
You stop midway. You actually meant to serve it to him in case you arrived late, which you realize is pretty ridiculous.ย 
โ€œActually what?โ€ He asks, leaning forward on the counter now, with his bare arms from his tank top blinding you a little.ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t know what time I was gonna get here so I thought as a last resort, Iโ€™ll bring this to heat up and serve to you but then I realized that thatโ€™s pretty stupid because itโ€™s leftovers and definitely not high-quality ingredients and itโ€™sโ€ฆ just silly. Plus, you donโ€™t eat rice in the morning.โ€
With his scrunched brows, he asks, โ€œis it good?โ€
โ€œItโ€™s pretty delicious,โ€ you say. โ€œI mean, I liked it. I donโ€™t know how sophisticated your palate isโ€ฆ Mr. Jeon.โ€
You smack yourself internally for rambling.ย 
โ€œWhatโ€™s that got to do with anything? If itโ€™s good, then itโ€™s good.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m an ordinary person, Mr. Jeon. I have normal peopleโ€™s taste buds.โ€
โ€œSo that makes me, what? Abnormal?โ€
โ€œNoโ€ฆ Iโ€“โ€ you unknowingly pout. You shouldnโ€™t have brought this in the first place.ย 
Jungkook is disarmed again at the sight of your pouty face. If this is your way of thanking him for this morning, heโ€™ll take it. The fact that youโ€™d brought something you cooked from your own place to feed to him is already enough to make him feel hazy, which is why he needs to get away from you right away.
โ€œJust heat it up. Iโ€™ll have that. Thereโ€™s not much food in here anyway,โ€ he says, walking away, leaving you no room to resist.
You do as youโ€™re told, not wanting to overthink and change anything. You do check the cupboard and see a stashed pantry, and you wonder if heโ€™d wanted to find something to criticize about your cooking, too.ย 
He walks in and lets you fix his tie again, and for some reason, you feel more nervous than you normally do today. You sit and busy yourself with responding to emails as he eats his breakfast, careful not to look at him while he does.
โ€œItโ€™s good, a little better than how I do mine,โ€ he says, surprising you.
โ€œYou cook?โ€ You ask too quickly.
โ€œOf course,โ€ he frowns, looking a little offended. โ€œI lived on my own for years. How do you think I survived?โ€
โ€œHiring people to do it for you,โ€ you shrug.ย 
Peeking at him once again, you see that heโ€™s almost finished with the dish, and you canโ€™t help the little smile on your face at the thought that he might actually enjoy it. Itโ€™s just fried rice, but you let yourself feel the shallow happiness from this. Heโ€™s at least not berating you or anything.
He finishes his meal as you go through yesterdayโ€™s meetings. Thereโ€™s not much about the Arts Center he says, just like yesterday and the day before, and you start to wonder if the issue with his father has anything to do with that.ย 
You let it go, opting to just follow his pace and let him talk about it when heโ€™s ready, if he ever will be.ย 
The morning goes by smoothly. Jungkook meets with Yoongi in his office then reviews the reports youโ€™d sent last Monday. He sends you an email, saying that theyโ€™ve been approved and for you to attach his signature for sign-off and dissemination, leaving you perplexed at the lack of any other comments again.ย 
He goes for a quick lunch at the dining hall while you eat a sandwich at the pantry, and not long after, youโ€™re back in the car to head to Jungkookโ€™s appointment with his best friend.
Kim Taehyungโ€™s tailor shop boasts of classic European design. Itโ€™s elegant in all the ways that he is, as he stands by the desk in his working space, a smaller room on the mezzanine floor with an exquisite couch and displays of his work. Heโ€™s donned in an orange suit that you think only he can pull off, while his brother, Seokjin, sits on a chair in an impeccable black 3-piece.ย 
You know as much that Jungkook grew up with both men, but while the brothers are often a hot topic on the news because of their wealth, their successful businesses, and colorful dating lives, you now wonder how Jungkook managed to stay out of the spotlight despite being a lot of the things that they are.ย 
You bow at them after Jungkook introduces you as his assistant, and youโ€™re surprised when Seokjin reaches out his hand to shake yours, bowing as well and offering you a kind smile. Taehyung does the same, and you canโ€™t help but feel the warmth on your cheeks. Theyโ€™re clearly incredibly handsome men with amazing styles, just like your boss, but theyโ€™re obviously respectful and gentle, unlike him.ย 
โ€œNice to meet you, Ms. Cho,โ€ Taehyung smiles. โ€œSo, what events do I need to dress my best friend for?โ€
He looks warm, friendly, and you canโ€™t help but mirror his smile as he offers you a seat and some tea. You take out your calendar and enumerate at least three big events in the next months, which would require standout designs. Jungkook also wants four additional everyday classic suits, and Taehyung starts sketching on his pad as you speak.ย 
โ€œMake one for my event, too,โ€ Seokjin says. โ€œIโ€™m launching my traditional alcohol brand in Singapore in September. Itโ€™ll be a big thing so Jungkook needs a fancy piece for that as well.โ€
โ€œThat soon?โ€ Jungkook asks.
โ€œYeah, it got pushed early,โ€ Seokjin replies.
Jungkook asks you to check his calendar for any activities in the Singapore office, and you state that thereโ€™s nothing scheduled during that time.ย 
โ€œThereโ€™s a landscape designer I want to meet while Iโ€™m there. Schedule one with her later,โ€ Jungkook instructs you, and you make a note to coordinate with Lucas, who will continue to serve as the assigned assistant for the Vice Presidentโ€™s Southeast Asia trips.ย 
Taehyung finishes the rough designs quickly, given that heโ€™s already familiar with the style his client wants. Heโ€™s done a lot of Jungkookโ€™s suits, which you know from all the weeks of preparing his clothes, and you do admit that he looks best in these custom-made pieces.
As Taehyung takes Jungkookโ€™s measurements - given that, as per his words, Jungkook has gotten wider since the last time - he asks if you have something to wear for those big events, too.ย 
โ€œUh, yes,โ€ you say.ย 
โ€œAre they from company events from before?โ€ Taehyung asks.
You nod shyly. Itโ€™s not like youโ€™re paid enough to afford a new one every time nor can you wear them anywhere else; there arenโ€™t exactly regular fancy dinners and social occasions you get invited to.
โ€œHave new ones made, then,โ€ Jungkook says, his back turned to you.
โ€œUh, thereโ€™s no need, Mr. Jeon. The gowns still look new and theyโ€™re well-made,โ€ you insist.
โ€œStore-bought?โ€ Taehyung asks, his eyebrow cocked.
โ€œUh, yes, Mr. Kim.โ€
โ€œNothing beats custom-designed ones though. And I must say, Iโ€™m kinda good at them.โ€
โ€œI, uhโ€ฆ itโ€™s really not necessary,โ€ you stutter, feeling a little too shy and definitely undeserving. Itโ€™s Kim Taehyung; his name is the brand.
โ€œI believe it is,โ€ Jungkook says now, turning to you. โ€œTheyโ€™re big events and weโ€™re organizing one with the arts professionals. Some dignitaries will be coming, too, including the culture minister. Iโ€™d prefer if you looked the part of working for the Vice President, Ms. Cho. You represent me in that way.โ€
โ€œIโ€ฆ uh, okay,โ€ you sigh, knowing you donโ€™t seem to be in a position to turn him down.ย 
โ€œGreat. Start thinking of designs, then!โ€ Taehyung beams.
Itโ€™s some minutes later when Jungkookโ€™s measurements have been taken and Taehyung calls for you. You sit on the chair facing his desk not far away while Jungkook and Seokjin talk about sports and this new club that opened in Gangnam.ย 
Seated in front of you, Taehyung takes his sketch pad and starts asking what design you want.
โ€œSomething simple and comfortable since Iโ€™ll be moving around,โ€ you say softly. โ€œAnd nothing form-fitting or revealing since, uhโ€ฆโ€
โ€œI understand,โ€ Taehyung smiles, revealing a gentle side of him that the paparazzi and tabloids clearly donโ€™t capture.ย 
He starts drawing your silhouette, glancing at you then at Jungkook before speaking.
โ€œSo, heโ€™s been in this role for a few weeks now. Has he been nice?โ€
โ€œDefine โ€˜nice,โ€™โ€ you respond, earning you a chuckle.ย 
โ€œI guess thatโ€™s my answer, then.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t mean to say he isnโ€™t,โ€ you backtrack. โ€œMr. Jeon just has a different leadership style as Mr. Jungโ€™s, thatโ€™s all.โ€
โ€œI suppose thatโ€™s quite a difficult adjustment for you, huh?โ€
You purse your lips and Taehyung laughs, the soft way he does it is something new and refreshing to you. You didnโ€™t realize how deprived you are of such gentleness, of such acts or sights as simple as a smile. Hoseok is no longer your source. Your team hasnโ€™t been as jolly these past weeks. The only other person you talk to regularly at work is Yoongi, and while heโ€™s definitely been smiling more, itโ€™s a lot more teasing than it is comforting. Youโ€™ve been missing your best friends more because of that, you think - Soominโ€™s smile is blinding, Jiminโ€™s is sweet and infectious. Perhaps itโ€™s why you havenโ€™t been smiling much yourself.ย 
โ€œI wonโ€™t tell, donโ€™t worry,โ€ Taehyung assures you. โ€œI just wanted to check on him. This whole move has been tough but he doesnโ€™t say much. Iโ€™m guessing he doesnโ€™t tell you, either, but heโ€™ll definitely show it.โ€
โ€œHe has, actually,โ€ you say softly, knowing now that even with his closest friends, Jungkook tends to keep things to himself. โ€œHeโ€™s pretty stressed most days, always working and stuff. Heโ€™s been a little hard on me but I guess thatโ€™s a natural reaction for some.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s not an excuse though.โ€
โ€œIt isnโ€™t, butโ€ฆ itโ€™s okay. I can handle it.โ€
Itโ€™s not as much of a lie anymore as it used to be. Jungkook hasnโ€™t been overly critical about things as he was just last week. He rarely makes comments on your minutes now, doesnโ€™t correct the reports you reviewed, doesnโ€™t talk over you or doesnโ€™t yell. Thereโ€™s been a change, definitely, and you wonder what triggered it.ย 
โ€œHe doesnโ€™t really smile, does he?โ€ You ask, your curiosity getting the better of you.
Taehyungโ€™s laughter is one of disbelief and pure amusement, catching the attention of the other two men but he waves them off.ย 
โ€œHe still does, just not as much,โ€ he responds. โ€œIt kinda stopped after the breakup with Chaerin but I guess thatโ€™s what heartbreak does, right?โ€
โ€œIโ€ฆ wouldnโ€™t know. Iโ€™ve never experienced it,โ€ you shrug.
โ€œLucky,โ€ he hums. โ€œI donโ€™t wish it on anyone.โ€
You glance at Jungkook, briefly letting yourself imagine a version of him thatโ€™s a lot more carefree, relaxed, perhaps happy. Maybe itโ€™s the loneliness and that youโ€™d understand; that, youโ€™ve experienced. Itโ€™s both liberating and isolating. You wonder if thatโ€™s how heโ€™s been feeling all these years since then.
โ€œIโ€™m done,โ€ Taehyung announces, showing you three designs that are exactly what you asked for.ย 
โ€œThese look nice. And way out of my price range,โ€ you laugh.
โ€œPerks of having a rich boss,โ€ he winks. โ€œI donโ€™t want you to worry about anything, okay? Youโ€™re my client and I want you to wear these with confidence. Now, if youโ€™re okay with all this, Iโ€™ll get one of my female assistants to get your measurements.โ€
You nod in response. Thereโ€™s absolutely nothing you would change about those designs. And if youโ€™re being honest, you now canโ€™t wait for those events just so you could wear them. Hoseok had obviously paid for the gowns you had to wear for the big events, but those were store-bought that A-yeong helped you choose. Some were your own purchases, but this is the first time that youโ€™re getting measured for custom-made clothing designed by Kim Taehyung.ย 
You walk towards the fitting room at the corner where one of his staff meets you. Sheโ€™s meticulous, which is why it takes longer than usual just to get this done. With her silence, however, youโ€™re able to hear the conversation happening outside, with the brothers now asking Jungkook about the same thing youโ€™ve been wondering about.
โ€œBy the way, what was up with you last Monday?โ€ Seokjin asks. โ€œI thought that was gonna be night 4 of you going home with a new woman. But you passed out before you could even ask. And that was just 9PM.โ€
โ€œFour nights isnโ€™t much, though,โ€ Taehyung laughs. โ€œDidnโ€™t he do that with seven women on seven straight nights when he was in Singapore? That was wild. Was it that stressful there? Or were there just so many to choose from?โ€
โ€œShut up. Iโ€™m not proud of that,โ€ Jungkook groans. โ€œAnd that was one time. It never happened again.โ€
โ€œIt never happened seven times straight again,โ€ Seokjin corrects. โ€œYou were really living your life out there, huh? Stressful job, a rooftop bar in your apartment building, chauffeur and butler services 24/7, women from all over the world begging to sleep with youโ€ฆโ€
โ€œItโ€™s called the post-break up stage,โ€ Taehyung says.ย 
โ€œFor six years?!โ€ Seokjin asks incredulously. โ€œItโ€™s either you loved Chaerin that much, you blamed yourself too much, or you just really sucked at moving on.โ€
โ€œI vote all of the above,โ€ Taehyung states.
โ€œMe, too,โ€ Seokjin claims.
โ€œFuck you both,โ€ Jungkook groans again.ย 
โ€œI think he also just missed us too much,โ€ Seokjin adds. โ€œLucas was cleaning up your messes every time, not snapping you out of it. But weโ€™re here now so I guess three straight nights is as far as youโ€™ll go.โ€
โ€œTwo, if you stopped me last Sunday,โ€ Jungkook points out. โ€œYou both always insisted that Sundays are a no-no. You were too busy with your own women.โ€
โ€œMay we remind you that you didnโ€™t even make it to our table. You stepped foot in the bar then left five minutes later,โ€ Taehyung says. โ€œBut really, what was it about Monday? You seemed angrier than usual.โ€
โ€œJustโ€ฆ a bunch of things my father said,โ€ Jungkook huffs.
โ€œDid he tell you off again?โ€
โ€œNot really, surprisingly. He just delivered a message basically, about what the board members were saying about me and my project. Bullshit stuff, you know? I just wanted to forget about it.โ€
โ€œDid you?โ€
โ€œSorta,โ€ Jungkook says. โ€œI still donโ€™t want to talk about it.โ€
โ€œBut itโ€™s still happening, right?โ€ Taehyung asks worriedly. โ€œThe Arts Center, I mean. Youโ€™ve been wanting to work on that since the building was abandoned five years ago.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ Jungkook responds. โ€œI guess. We already put money into it. Iโ€™ll just have to make concessions if my father doesnโ€™t side with me on this. I hate to think heโ€™s buying into what those old folks are saying.โ€
โ€œMs. Cho, weโ€™re all done,โ€ the staff member tells you, muffling the conversation outside that you couldnโ€™t help but hear.ย 
It felt quite intrusive, hearing how life was like for Jungkook in Singapore, but then again, his personal life seemed to be the topic in the office comfort rooms, and you donโ€™t know how to feel about getting confirmation about those rumors. It felt sad more than anything though, living that kind of life away from friends and family. You wouldnโ€™t know what moving on from a breakup feels like, but you suppose people grieve a lost love in their own ways; you canโ€™t blame them for how they choose to repair the parts of them that broke.ย 
But the bit about his conversation with his father is what bothers you. Youโ€™d hate to think that thereโ€™s a possibility that Jungkookโ€™s plans wonโ€™t be fully realized, and whatever the reasons for that are, you hope they didnโ€™t break his spirit too much. You know the plans now like the back of your hand and the more you learn, the more you believe in it. You hope Jungkook continues to believe in it, too.
You exit the fitting room, catching the end of a conversation where Seokjin suggests a wholesome weekend for the three men of just dinner and drinks. The two other men agree, and they all turn to you once you make your presence felt.
โ€œAll good?โ€ Taehyung asks you.
โ€œYes,โ€ you bow in thanks.ย 
โ€œGreat. The gowns will be ready at the same time as Jungkookโ€™s suits will be. Iโ€™ll just let you guys know, okay?
โ€œSure,โ€ Jungkook says. โ€œBut anyway, we have to get back to work. Thanks again.โ€
The brothers bid you and Jungkook goodbye, and you head back to the office with not much words said. Jungkook seems less frustrated, but the worry you feel suddenly returns. Itโ€™s the thought that maybe he doesnโ€™t feel supported, that maybe what heโ€™s doing isnโ€™t enough, and that more than that, it's him choosing to deal with all this on his own, not even looking to his friends to comfort him.
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Jimin and Soomin meet you for lunch at a restaurant that Saturday afternoon. The drive from Busan took longer than expected, they said, but you say you donโ€™t mind. Theyโ€™re visiting you like they always do every month, regardless of how busy they are back in their hometown, which was your home for a few years, too.
You were in the same class; your mom worked at the school, which was the only reason why you were able to attend a prestigious one in the first place. Even when you moved back to Daegu, you remained in touch with them. Despite the distance, none of you wanted to just let the friendship fade, and even when they had to stay back and you made a life out here in Seoul, they made sure to visit you as much as they could.
Theyโ€™re why you were excited for the weekend to come and now, youโ€™ll be enjoying a hearty meal, getting your nails done after, lounging at your apartment, and then heading to a club for a night out, which you only do whenever theyโ€™re around.ย 
โ€œSo, has the boss situation improved?โ€ Soomin asks, her eyes soft and laced with worry โ€œOr should I storm the jerkโ€™s house and give him a piece of my mind?โ€
โ€œIt has,โ€ you chuckle. โ€œSo no need to call him names or fight anyone. Iโ€™m okay.โ€
โ€œWell, you did call him a grumpy old grinch with nice hair the other week,โ€ Jimin points out. โ€œSoโ€ฆ did he get a haircut?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you laugh again. โ€œAnd that was in the heat of the moment. Iโ€ฆ I mean, heโ€™s still grumpy but heโ€™s notโ€ฆ as grumpy or unbearable. Heโ€™s beenโ€”โ€
โ€œOh hun, please donโ€™t say heโ€™s been kind and then give him a pass for how heโ€™s been to you,โ€ Soomin reprimands. โ€œMean people donโ€™t just become nice all of a sudden. And if they do, thatโ€™s a controlling tactic - they want you to think theyโ€™re capable of change so youโ€™ll soften up to them and then give them a pass every time they do asshole-y things again.โ€
โ€œYou watch too many shows,โ€ you frown, although knowing her statement isnโ€™t wrong; itโ€™s just not something you can relate with Jungkook.
Sure, he hasnโ€™t been the nicest, but he also hasnโ€™t been the meanest. Heโ€™s just beenโ€ฆ him, you suppose - a bit in the middle; frustrated at worst, quiet at best, stoic on most days. He does seem to live in his head a lot, and while you wonโ€™t go so far as characterizing him as kind, he definitely hasnโ€™t been insufferable these past few days.ย 
โ€œIโ€™ve just dealt with too many assholes, ___,โ€ Soomin corrects. โ€œTheyโ€™re all the same. Men are shit.โ€
โ€œExcept for Jimin,โ€ you correct.
โ€œExcept for Jimin,โ€ she concurs.ย 
โ€œI accept the honor,โ€ he bows. โ€œBut seriously, ___. How has it been? Youโ€ฆ you seemed really sad last week and I wouldโ€™ve driven here then if we didnโ€™t have that work emergency.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m okay, I mean it. Iโ€™ve experienced worse,โ€ you try to assure them.
โ€œYou do know that having experienced something worse doesnโ€™t mean itโ€™s fine for you to experience something bad again, right?โ€ Soomin points out.
โ€œI know, but it also means that I know my threshold for bad behavior,โ€ you say. โ€œJungkook was in a lot of stress and I did mess up. But I think heโ€™s making up for that.โ€
โ€œBy apologizing, you mean?โ€ Soomin cocks an eyebrow.
Your sigh tells her thatโ€™s definitely not what Jungkook has done.ย 
โ€œWell, he approves my minutes and reviewed reports much quicker,โ€ you reason. โ€œAnd he doesnโ€™t comment as much. But actually, I think he just pities me. And thatโ€™s worse.โ€
โ€œWhy would he pity you?โ€ She asks.
โ€œI donโ€™t know. Maybe because I said that a tree fell on our roof and that mom got injured the weekend before my mishap,โ€ you explain. โ€œAnd then he found out how early I start my day just so I can get to him on time. Heโ€™s made adjustments after those and Iโ€ฆ I think heโ€™s guilty or something. And heโ€™s just not being his usual angry self around me to make it up to me.โ€
โ€œSo in short, heโ€™s still kind of an asshole,โ€ Soomin says, prompting Jimin to snort and you to pout. โ€œHe could always just apologize if heโ€™s guilty and realized he should treat you better.โ€
โ€œSome things arenโ€™t easy for other people to say, you know?โ€ You say softly.ย 
โ€œThatโ€™s not an excuse,โ€ she points out.
โ€œItโ€™s an explanation,โ€ you counter. โ€œOr one of them, I guess. I donโ€™t know him well enough, but itโ€™s better to think that heโ€™s a decent person who just struggles with emotions than someone who willingly makes peopleโ€™s lives difficult. I mean, thatโ€™s easier to manage and accept.โ€
โ€œIf that helps you deal and heโ€™s indeed improving, then maybe I wonโ€™t have to storm his place then,โ€ she smiles, taking your hand and kissing it as she likes to do.ย 
She knows your habit of pressing your nails onto your skin, and she always said she likes to remind you that you deserve gentleness, too; sheโ€™ll give it if you canโ€™t give it to yourself.ย 
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The rest of the afternoon goes as you planned, with all the banter youโ€™d expect from your best friends amid the pampering and then the chick flick in the background as you get ready in your tiny apartment.ย 
You smile at your reflection in the mirror. The high-waist trousers and sleeveless top ensemble is a refreshing sight for you, as you only really dress up like this for a night out. Youโ€™re in your usual pencil skirts and blouses otherwise, and in jeans and tops or oversized jumpers on a normal day.ย 
Soominโ€™s done your makeup and Jimin compliments you as he looks on, and soon enough, theyโ€™re ready as well to head out.ย 
โ€œWhereโ€™re we going?โ€ You ask from the passenger seat as Jimin navigates the busy streets of Seoul on a Saturday night.ย 
โ€œSome new restaurant the guys discovered,โ€ Soomin responds. โ€œI think itโ€™s not far from here.โ€
โ€œOkay, good. Hajoonโ€™s been texting, asking what time weโ€™ll get there,โ€ you tell them.ย 
โ€œGeez, you were already with him last night. Tell him to be patient,โ€ Jimin rolls his eyes.ย 
Soomin laughs from the backseat as she teases that heโ€™s just being jealous, to which he points out that he just hasnโ€™t seen you in a while so the man can wait. And you assure Jimin that youโ€™d gladly skip a night with Hajoon to be with your best friends, no questions asked.ย 
You get there eventually, and you immediately spot the group because of the laughter coming from their table. There are four men; the two women are Soominโ€™s friends, which is how you got involved with Hajoon in the first place. You met some time last year and youโ€™ve been hanging out with him since then - among other things - and youโ€™ve been enjoying it, given the simplicity and lack of drama when heโ€™s not being moody. Heโ€™s a warm body who knows how to use it and youโ€™re a good type of relief, as heโ€™d said; thereโ€™s really not much more you need as you just try to survive through life and make something out of yourself in however way you can.ย 
Hajoon waves at you from his seat, gesturing to his left to say heโ€™s saved that spot for you. You head there after greeting your other friends, with Jimin and Soomin following you.ย 
Right as you sit down and greet the man next to you, youโ€™re caught by surprise when he kisses your cheek and snakes his arm around your waist.ย 
โ€œHey, I missed you today,โ€ Hajoon hums, smiling at you the way he did last night and this morning; it definitely wasnโ€™t this sweet when he left for a work trip last month.ย ย 
โ€œIโ€ฆ saw you today,โ€ you frown, earning you a chuckle.ย 
โ€œI know; I was still thinking about you, though,โ€ he says.ย 
You give a smile - as genuine as you can make it - and then turn towards your friends to your left who are trying to hold in their laughter.ย 
You order a beer after he offers you a glass of wine, and then go for the pork belly when he says the salmon here is good.ย 
โ€œJust craving for meat, thatโ€™s all,โ€ you tell him.ย 
โ€œIs there anything else you want? Just let me know, okay?โ€
You hum your yes and then turn back to your friends after Hajoon makes jokes with his.
โ€œSince when was he this sweet to you?โ€ Soomin whispers with wide, curious eyes.ย 
โ€œSince never,โ€ you reply. โ€œI mean, weโ€™ve never been affectionate outside of bedโ€ฆโ€
โ€œIs anything else different?โ€ Jimin wonders, careful not to bring attention to your conversation.
You look back at how things were before Hajoon left and how it was when he was away. Nothing seemed different. You hung out at his place before he flew out, then you messaged each other every now and then during the one month he was abroad. He was more interested to talk, but given the time difference and the pressure and stress youโ€™ve been under the past weeks, you didnโ€™t bother much, neither did he.ย 
But you also think back to last night - how he picked you up from your apartment, which heโ€™s never done before, and how he prepared a luxurious dinner. He made you breakfast this morning, too, whereas you both usually just sleep in in tangled limbs and then separate once you wake up.
โ€œHe cooked me fancy stuff but I just thought he wanted to show off what he learned during his cooking masterclass,โ€ you shrug. โ€œAnd wellโ€ฆ he seemed sweeter than normal.โ€
โ€œMaybe he hooked up with someone while he was away and heโ€™s guilty about it,โ€ Jimin suggests.
โ€œHe didnโ€™t say anything about it and he knows I wouldnโ€™t mind,โ€ you say. โ€œWeโ€™re not exclusive, even if I donโ€™t hang out with other guys.โ€
โ€œMaybe heโ€™s over the fucking and wants to do the loving bit now,โ€ Soomin offers. โ€œI mean, he always seemed more into you than you were into him.โ€
โ€œHeโ€™s hot and decent when heโ€™s in a good mood; thatโ€™s all I need,โ€ you admit.ย 
โ€œBut honestly, thatโ€™s probably it,โ€ Soomin continues. โ€œI think heโ€™s hinting that he wants to be more.โ€
โ€œBut I donโ€™t want to,โ€ you whine. โ€œIโ€™m not ready.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re 30! When are you ever gonna be ready?โ€ Soomin whisper-yells.
โ€œNever!โ€ You pout now. โ€œI meanโ€ฆ Not with him.โ€
โ€œWell, youโ€™re gonna have to tell him soon, then,โ€ Jimin sighs. โ€œBefore it gets messy. And you hate messy.โ€
โ€œWhat if men just donโ€™t have feelings?โ€ Soomin wonders out loud. โ€œThat way, you canโ€™t hurt them.โ€
โ€œSo that way, they can hurt you?โ€ Jimin points out. โ€œNo. Iโ€™m not letting any men hurt either one of you, okay? I love you both too much.โ€
โ€œWe know,โ€ you and Soomin say at the same time.ย 
โ€œBut I agree with Jimin, ___. Youโ€™re gonna have to let that man next to you, whoโ€™s thankfully deaf, go. And then just find another person who can give you what you need,โ€ Soomin continues. โ€œLike, uhโ€ฆโ€ย 
She looks around the semi-packed restaurant to find some random man to just point to, her eyes widening in awe as she spots a table close by with the type of men she was just thinking about.ย 
โ€œLike them.โ€ย 
You laugh at her, not taking her seriously, but still, you look towards the direction of her cocked head, only to feel your throat dry up and your heartbeat speed up. Your eyes widen in reflex as they meet the piercing gaze of the man whoโ€™d given you a headache for weeks. He also happens to look unfairly handsome in his white top and slicked back hair.ย 
โ€œShit, I would totally go for them,โ€ Soomin adds, โ€œand I only even like men a quarter of the time.โ€
Your best friends look at you as they wait for a response, only to see a nervous look on your face, as if youโ€™re seeing a ghost or something, and the way you turn to them and stutter almost seems like you are.
From the other table, Jungkook pants quietly. You finally looked his way, and he didnโ€™t know what to expect your reaction to be - maybe a bit of shock, but definitely not this worried. Granted, youโ€™re out with your friends at a restaurant that he and his friends frequent. Itโ€™s not the type of place theyโ€™d normally go for - this is a lot simpler, less private, and more accommodating than the exclusive restaurants and hotels they go to for dinners before heading to a club. But Jungkook loves their pork belly; he orders it every week, and tonight, he was craving for this specifically before going to a private party of one of Taehyungโ€™s clients.ย 
Jungkook had seen you when you sat down, and heโ€™d been taken aback when the guy to your right immediately kissed your cheek; it seems heโ€™s barely let go of your waist since then, too. Perhaps the man is your boyfriend - and Jungkook doesnโ€™t know what made him think you wouldnโ€™t have one - but it also seems that the one to your left is into you, too, at least based on how he smiles at you sweetly but rolls his eyes at the affectionate guy to your other side.ย 
But other than the embarrassing obvious affection that both of them are directing at you, what made him lose his senses is how you look, and youโ€™re even more beautiful than he imagined. Your hair is styled, your makeup is bolder than usual, and he wonโ€™t even start with how youโ€™re dressed. Itโ€™s a lot more skin than heโ€™s used to - youโ€™re out, after all, and if heโ€™ll go by what your companions are wearing, he supposes this is your stop before heading to some club to party, too. Whereas when youโ€™re at work, you have the skirt and long-sleeved blouse ensemble that you wear everyday - still pretty, perhaps just a lot more reserved than what heโ€™s seeing now.ย 
He canโ€™t take his eyes off you, even as you entertain your suppose-boyfriend, even when you engage in hushed conversation with the man and woman to your left, and even when you stare back at him, the initial shock now wearing down to a look of curiosity. Perhaps youโ€™re wondering why he keeps glancing at you, too.
โ€œI told you heโ€™s got it bad,โ€ Taehyung laughs from the other side of the table.ย 
Heโ€™s noticed how his friend hasnโ€™t said much in the last 10 minutes, his gaze directed at the loud table close by. One glance and Taehyung knew why.ย 
โ€œWell, we told him,โ€ Seokjin corrects. โ€œHe only ever acts out when heโ€™s threatened and heโ€™s apparently threatened by his pretty assistant.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not acting out,โ€ Jungkook scowls, finally breaking the staring contest with you.
โ€œYouโ€™ve never been this much of a jerk,โ€ Seokjin says. โ€œSo yes, youโ€™re acting out.โ€
Jungkook ignores them, his eyes turning back to you, and finds you downing two shots of tequila consecutively, then using the beer as your chaser. His knuckles unconsciously clench when your suppose-boyfriend scoots closer, whispering something in your ear, his lips grazing your skin.ย 
Jungkook exhales deeply, trying to get a grip of himself. Heโ€™s acting foolishly. You obviously have a life outside of work, and it obviously includes going out for dinner and drinks with friends, having a boyfriend, and enjoying your youth the way he is. Thereโ€™s a world outside of the routine youโ€™ve both created, of the silence you both share, and the time you spend together, unknowingly learning about each other without meaning to, without wanting to.
โ€œ___,โ€ Soomin calls your name one more time.ย 
โ€œHuh?โ€ You answer, finally tearing your eyes away from Jungkook, whoโ€™d unfortunately captured your attention after you noticed he was there.ย 
Youโ€™ve been used to his impeccable looks in his fancy suits; youโ€™ve even gotten used to his tank top and sweatpants post-workout outfits every morning, and while youโ€™re still not immune to that look, his night out wear fit for a party leaves you more choked up than normal.ย 
Maybe itโ€™s the black jeans that you spot as he sits on the edge of the couch, or the white button-up top with the rolled sleeves up to his elbow, or his haircut that makes him look a little more mature. Maybe itโ€™s all that and the way heโ€™s gazing at you, the look in his eyes something you canโ€™t quite read. Perhaps like you, heโ€™s surprised to see you here the way youโ€™re shocked that heโ€™d chosen this place to eat; itโ€™s not exactly a fancy restaurant you know he likes eating at.ย 
But heโ€™s here, and so are you, and suddenly you feel exposed, as if the world outside of work that youโ€™ve kept to yourself is baring open to the man who stands at the center of what you do everyday. And youโ€™re not sure how you feel about that.
โ€œI was just sayingโ€ฆ those men are pretty hot and they look interested, too,โ€ Soomin wiggles her eyebrows. โ€œ I mean, they keep looking here.โ€
โ€œOne of them is my boss,โ€ you finally say. โ€œGuy on the right. Thatโ€™sโ€ฆ uh, thatโ€™s Jungkook.โ€
โ€œHoly fuck, hun,โ€ Soomin chokes on her drink. โ€œWhy did you leave out the part about your rude boss being a fucking god?โ€
โ€œDoes it matter?โ€ Jimin scowls. โ€œHeโ€™s still rude.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s different when the guyโ€™s hot. It makes the anger more intense, you know?โ€ Soomin says. โ€œAttractive people elicit more passionate feelings sometimes.โ€
โ€œExcuse me, thatโ€™s not why I was angry,โ€ you pout. โ€œHe was really being unfair.โ€
โ€œWell, he was. But I think my point also applies,โ€ Soomin argues. โ€œIโ€™d just like to warn you that workplace hotties are a menace. Except for Yoongi - he was heaven sent. โ€
โ€œAh, the man who couldโ€™ve been,โ€ Jimin sighs. โ€œWe at least knew he wouldnโ€™t hurt you. He didnโ€™t seem like the type.โ€
โ€œYeah, this dude over here is hot but heโ€™s mean. And thatโ€™s your type,โ€ Soomin smirks.
โ€œCan weโ€ฆ not talk about this while heโ€™s there? And while this other dude is right next to me?โ€ You glare at your friends, especially at Soomin whose insinuation wasnโ€™t lost on you. โ€œItโ€™s soโ€ฆ weird.โ€
โ€œHey, weโ€™re here for you, okay?โ€ Jimin softens as he looks at you. โ€œJust let us know if one of them makes you feel uncomfortable. We can always just stay at your place and watch horror movies until morning and you and Soomin can lose your voices from screaming and then Iโ€™ll lose my hearing because of it.โ€
His words make you laugh. Thereโ€™s a tenderness in Jimin that youโ€™ve never heard from anyone else before. Even when heโ€™s telling you to stop yelling because you live for the thrill of a jumpscare, he says it so tenderly while laughing before pulling you both in his embrace.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m okay. Iโ€™m justโ€ฆ I donโ€™t know, probably just not used to seeing him somewhere that isnโ€™t the office or his home,โ€ you reason. โ€œAnd I feel a bit exposed, I guess. This is my world and his isโ€ฆ right there.โ€
You wrap your arms around your body subconsciously, realizing only youโ€™d done it when Jimin asks if youโ€™re cold, offering his jacket then taking it back because Hajoon might smack him or something.
You turn it down, knowing you actually feel hot more than anything. Youโ€™re dressed up and definitely dressed in less, and somehow having Jungkook see you like this is oddly making you shy, perhaps a little too conscious.
โ€œJust donโ€™t mind him,โ€ Soomin advises. โ€œItโ€™s a restaurant. You obviously have a social life and he canโ€™t fault you for it, nor make you feel weird about it. Just focus on us, okay? Or on Hajoon, if thatโ€™ll happen.โ€
You follow her words and try to block out Jungkook. You do slightly nod at him, as well as at Taehyung and Seokjin just to acknowledge their presence, but you continue on with your meal, as the dishes arrive soon after.ย 
The pork belly is a winner; youโ€™ll probably come back here for that alone. You do manage to dodge Hajoonโ€™s attempts at feeding you, and your other friends engage with the three of you at the other end of the table. Itโ€™s going well for the most part, until Hajoon starts to act a little wary, a little tense.
โ€œHey,โ€ he says, leaning close to you. โ€œThe guy on the other table has been looking at you all night. Itโ€™s kinda annoying.โ€
You glance at Jungkookโ€™s table and he looks away when you do. โ€œOh, just donโ€™t mind him,โ€ you wave Hajoon off. โ€œMaybe I remind him of someone or something.โ€
Thereโ€™s a beat of silence, and you feel him tense even more, as you look up and see that heโ€™s staring down the man on the other side. Hajoonโ€™s had a bit to drink, and you know he tends to be cocky and irrational when he is. You groan once he shakes his head, saying heโ€™s gonna give โ€œthat strangerโ€ a piece of his mind because โ€œhe canโ€™t be looking at my girl like that.โ€
The initial annoyance you feel turns into panic once he stands from his seat and storms to the other table. You follow him, with your friends just looking in worry. His friends are more encouraging of what he wants to do though.ย 
โ€œWhat the fuck is your problem staring at my girl like that?โ€ Hajoon mumbles, acting all tough when heโ€™s never threatened nor confronted anyone like this, even when heโ€™s drunk.ย 
Jungkook seems taken aback. Perhaps itโ€™s the aggression he didnโ€™t expect, or maybe itโ€™s finally having to acknowledge your presence in the restaurant, just in an unfortunate way.ย 
โ€œYour girl?โ€ He scoffs.ย 
The way the man is speaking to him is quite annoying, but he also knows your boyfriend is slightly drunk, so he dismisses him because Jungkook doesnโ€™t need this drama tonight, especially not in front of you.ย 
Hajoon hates the way this stranger is looking at him and not taking him seriously. Heโ€™d seen how he kept glancing at you, perhaps trying to get your attention away from him, and heโ€™s really had enough. His words are slurring but this is the courage he needs to stand up for you. Youโ€™ve said before how unwanted attention makes you uncomfortable, and heโ€™s gonna do something about it before the man gets to try anything with you.ย 
โ€œYeah, my girl. You seem to have a problem with that, donโ€™t you?โ€ Hajoon grunts.ย 
โ€œMy only problem is you making a scene right now,โ€ Jungkook shakes his head. โ€œYouโ€™re drunk and insecure and youโ€™re embarrassing yourself in front of your girl.โ€
Not that you expected him to back off, but you didnโ€™t actually think that Jungkook would further press Hajoonโ€™s buttons. The man is drunk and insecure and indeed embarrassing, but getting told so is a blow to the ego, especially in your presence. And so youโ€™re not surprised that this just makes him angrier, and since youโ€™ve never dealt with this version of him before, you donโ€™t know how to pacify him.
You didnโ€™t actually think that Hajoon had a daring bone in his body despite being the way he is, but when he attempts to lunge at Jungkook, youโ€™re left in disbelief. Youโ€™re quick enough to pull Hajoon back before he lands a fist on the other manโ€™s face, but heโ€™d been worked up enough that he hits the glass of wine on the table, knocking it over and causing the drink to spill on Jungkookโ€™s thin white top.ย 
โ€œMr. Jeon!โ€ You shriek, pulling Hajoon back more forcefully before pushing him to the side so you can get ahead.ย 
You take the napkin from the table and wipe Jungkookโ€™s wet clothed torso, slowing down immediately as you realize what exactly it is youโ€™re doing.ย 
โ€œIโ€ฆ uh,โ€ you stutter, standing straight up and mirroring his questioning eyes.ย 
It was a reflex for you, considering that you constantly make sure that heโ€™s dressed impeccably.ย 
โ€œYou know him?!โ€ Hajoon asks in disbelief, tugging on your hand now so youโ€™ll turn to him.
โ€œHeโ€™s my boss, you idiot!โ€ smacking him on the chest as you glare at him. โ€œAnd you just put my job in jeopardy and for what?โ€
โ€œWell, what can he do?โ€ Hajoon challenges. โ€œGet you fired because of me? Does he own the company and shit?โ€
โ€œMy father does,โ€ Jungkook responds. โ€œAnd Iโ€™m the Vice President.โ€
Hajoon just rolls his eyes but you arenโ€™t amused. You glance at your table and gesture for one of his friends to take him, so one of them does. He stands up and pulls Hajoon away before he can do or say anything else.
โ€œIโ€™m so, so sorry, Mr. Jeon,โ€ you say, your head bowed down as you apologize. โ€œIโ€ฆโ€ย 
The mess on his outfit is too much; the red has stained the white top and you know he feels sticky. He looks like he has somewhere to go after this and that makes it worse.
โ€œIโ€“ I can call Mr. Ri to get the car in here. I can get extra clothes from your travel bag,โ€ you say, knowing that Jungkook always has a bag filled with clothes for emergency flights or check-ins.ย 
You get your phone and make a call, telling Jungkook that his chauffeur will be here soon. You glance towards your friends who are still pacifying a drunk Hajoon, and you decide that they can handle all that. Right now, your priority is Jungkook.
You walk out towards the car thatโ€™s on hazard mode outside the restaurant and pick out the top thatโ€™s most appropriate for a night out, which happens to be a semi-loose black button-up. You head back inside, with Taehyung and Seokjin informing you that Jungkook has gone to the washroom, so you scurry towards there and knock at the door.
โ€œMr. Jeon, I have your black long sleeves here,โ€ you say as your knuckles tap on the wood. โ€œJust tell meโ€“โ€ย 
Youโ€™re interrupted by the sudden opening of the door, the sight of Jungkook in his jeans hanging by his waist and his unbuttoned white top catching you by surprise. His hairโ€™s a bit damp and so is his bare torso, as you see that heโ€™s tried to clean the wine off his body.ย 
You catch yourself looking longer than you should, and you immediately look away as you hand him over what he needs.ย 
โ€œPlease let me know what else you need, sir,โ€ you say, your eyes glued to the pretty wallpaper as you awkwardly stand outside the washroom.ย 
โ€œJungkook,โ€ he says, earning him a curious look. โ€œI mean, you donโ€™t need to be formal. Weโ€™re not at work.โ€
You nod, realizing it does sound weird to address him as such in a casual setting.ย 
โ€œOkayโ€ฆ Jungkook,โ€ you mumble, but even the way it rolls off your tongue is a bit odd. Youโ€™re not used to it, and you hope you wonโ€™t ever be.ย 
He closes the door and you take this time to calm yourself down. Youโ€™ve been so worried since you saw the glass tip over and mess up his outfit, and given his hot-headedness, youโ€™re a little surprised that he didnโ€™t fight back. He does have a reputation to uphold but even then, stopping himself from punching Hajoon mustโ€™ve taken a lot.ย 
The door opens and you sigh in relief; his outfit still looks good and heโ€™s fully clothed, so thereโ€™s no lingering looks this time anymore. You take the top that he gives you, and you take the chance to apologize.
โ€œIโ€™m so sorry,โ€ you start. โ€œI donโ€™t know why heโ€” I mean, heโ€™s a bit drunk and heโ€™s not usually like this.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re not the one who should apologize so donโ€™t,โ€ he responds.ย 
โ€œWell, he wonโ€™t apologize so I will.โ€
โ€œYou didnโ€™t spill the drink and you didnโ€™t come at me. That was him,โ€ he counters.ย 
You just shrug, choosing to just concede. โ€œIโ€™ll just return this to Mr. Ri.โ€
He calls your name before you turn around to leave.ย 
โ€œI didnโ€™t mean to cause a rift between you and your boyfriend,โ€ he says, much too low and too gentle than youโ€™re used to. โ€œI hope I didnโ€™t ruin anything.โ€
โ€œHeโ€™s not my boyfriend,โ€ you answer softly. โ€œWe just, uh, we just hang out.โ€
You donโ€™t know why you feel the need to correct this misinformation. Maybe you just want to remind yourself because youโ€™re not anyoneโ€™s anything; hearing Hajoon claim you as yours made you want to just create that distance even more.
Jungkook wants to push it, to ask more. The man clearly acts like heโ€™s your lover, given the physical affection and the way he tried to stand up for you. But thereโ€™s a bit of shame as you state that you and the man โ€œjust hang out,โ€ and thereโ€™s that wonder he feels - how can you be with someone without being with them, and if turning away people who are clearly into you is a tendency you have. Thereโ€™s Min Yoongi, after all, whoโ€™d liked you enough to remain as your friend when you needed one despite how he felt.ย ย 
โ€œOkay then,โ€ Jungkook nods. โ€œAnd your jobโ€™s not in jeopardy. Donโ€™t take responsibility for a stupid act you didnโ€™t do.โ€
You bow in thanks, not much used to this side of him thatโ€™s understanding and even calm. You suppose heโ€™d seen you worry about your job, had seen you look embarrassed over something that you didnโ€™t even do, and perhaps he saw the discomfort over how Hajoon was talking about you.ย 
Youโ€™re about to walk out of the hallway when his call of your name stops you again, prompting you to turn around.
โ€œAbout earlierโ€ฆ did Iโ€ฆ did I make you feel uncomfortable?โ€ He asks, the worry in his voice surprising you.ย 
You debate over playing it down or telling the truth, but you go with the latter.ย 
โ€œAโ€ฆ a little,โ€ you admit, looking away.ย 
You hear him sigh, and thereโ€™s a look of guilt in his eyes as you turn to him.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m soโ€”โ€
The footsteps of another diner in the hallway disrupts him, and you both make way so he can use the washroom, too. Perhaps you and Jungkook had taken so long, and you donโ€™t want others to conspire about whatโ€™s happening, so you walk out and tell him again that youโ€™ll just return his clothing to Mr. Ri.ย 
From your table, Soomin and Jimin watch the awkwardness of your parting of ways, with you scurrying out the door and Jungkook returning to his seat with a deep sigh before glaring at Hajoon.
โ€œHe does sound and look like an asshole, aside from being hot,โ€ Soomin observes. โ€œThatโ€™s totally ___โ€™s type.โ€
โ€œAre you saying she likes her boss?โ€ Jimin asks incredulously.ย 
โ€œIโ€™m just saying thatโ€™s her type, not that she likes him,โ€ Soomin corrects. โ€œThereโ€™s a difference. I still hate him for making things hard for her. I wish he would stop treating her like that. You and I know she wonโ€™t quit anytime soon. Especially because heโ€™s a Jeon.โ€
โ€œI know,โ€ Jimin sighs. โ€œI wish we could protect her from all this, too. But sheโ€™s always done what she wanted to do. And we wait for her to tell us when things are hard; we just hold her hand whenever it is.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s all we can do, I guess,โ€ Soomin responds. โ€œSometimes though I wish sheโ€™d justโ€ฆ let someone else do more than just hold her hand, you know? It couldโ€™ve been Yoongi, or even Hajoon before all this mess. It couldโ€™ve been you.โ€
โ€œYou know thatโ€™ll never happen,โ€ Jimin laughs bitterly, with Soomin knowing exactly what he means. โ€œYouโ€™re only ever just her friend or her lover; you canโ€™t be both.โ€
Soomin hums in agreement, as sheโ€™d seen you draw the line with the men youโ€™d come across with. Youโ€™d make it clear if friendship is all you want; youโ€™d be straightforward if itโ€™s just sex youโ€™re seeking. You give either just your heart or your body and youโ€™re always careful not to give both. There are parts of you that you donโ€™t want to share, that you donโ€™t want to expose to them; thereโ€™s a kind of hurt that you donโ€™t want to experience.ย 
They watch you walk back inside and then head to their table, where you sit next to a buzzed Hajoon who still has half a mind to look at you guiltily.ย 
โ€œI think Iโ€™ll head back home after this,โ€ you tell the group. โ€œKinda not in a partying mood anymore.โ€
Your other friends apologize on Hajoonโ€™s behalf, proceeding to ask you if that was really your boss and if heโ€™d threatened your job because of it, remarking that it would be such an asshole move of him to do that or to even get mad at you for something you didnโ€™t do.ย 
You come to Jungkookโ€™s defense; he didnโ€™t say anything to that effect at all. Perhaps youโ€™d been the unfair one who assumed that he would - that heโ€™d demand that you apologize, that heโ€™d use this against you.ย 
โ€œHeโ€™sโ€ฆ not like that,โ€ you say, meaning it. You turn to your best friends who have disagreeing looks. โ€œHeโ€ฆ he tried to apologize for making me feel uncomfortable,โ€ you say softly. โ€œNo oneโ€™s ever done that before.โ€
โ€œLook, ___,โ€ Hajoon starts, but you cut him off.ย 
โ€œI donโ€™t really wanna talk about it,โ€ you sigh. โ€œIโ€™ll just pay my bill and head out.โ€
You, Soomin, and Jimin all pay accordingly and then leave the restaurant, with you turning to Jungkook and his friends, bowing as a form of goodbye.
โ€œHey, why donโ€™t we buy desserts at a convenience store and have our own party at your place?โ€ Jimin suggests as you all settle in his car.ย 
โ€œThat would be nice,โ€ you hum. โ€œThis outfit wouldnโ€™t be such a waste then.โ€
So thatโ€™s what you do, as your best friends treat you to all the snacks you love - a usual occurrence, really, as they used to do that back in Busan to cheer you up during the days when you were feeling sad. Itโ€™s one of the things that you allow them to spoil you with and they take advantage of that, as you go home with weeksโ€™ worth of goods for you to enjoy.
You also picked up some drinks on the way, so you play some music and dance around with your wine glasses and take shots in between. Itโ€™s too early to be drunk but 11PM might as well be 3AM. Youโ€™re all seated snugly in your tiny couch as you watch some variety show on mute, laughing at the hosts' antics even if you canโ€™t hear anything.ย 
โ€œTonight wasnโ€™t so bad,โ€ you huff, leaning on Soominโ€™s shoulder as you doze off. โ€œBoth of you are all I need. Thank you for never disappointing me.โ€
They know you donโ€™t always let yourself be this sentimental. They also know that when you do, all you want is for them to listen and to hold you. And thatโ€™s what they do, as you eventually clean up and fall asleep on the mattress with them, the events from earlier slowly fading away.
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chronicsyd ยท 1 month ago
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I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"
shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.
The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.
"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.
I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.
What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.
Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?
But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...
(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)
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thewriteadviceforwriters ยท 2 months ago
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Do you have any tips on how characters react after a heat in the moment first kiss?
Hey there! I'm so glad you reached out about depicting characters' reactions after an unexpected first kiss. This is such an important and tricky moment to get right in any romance story.
I don't talk enough about romance, so I've very excited to write a blog post about this, especially since in almost all my writing projects I utilize a romantic subplot.
Understanding the Emotional Impact
First things first, it's important to recognize just how powerful and transformative that first kiss can be for your characters, even if it's spur-of-the-moment or unplanned. A kiss like that has the power to shift the entire dynamic between two people, unlocking a whole new level of vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional intensity.
Think about it - your characters have probably been building up tension, attraction, and unspoken feelings for each other over time. And then, in one electric moment, all of that comes bubbling to the surface. Suddenly, everything changes. The world seems to slow down, and all that matters is the connection between them.
Whether your characters have been pining for this moment or it takes them completely by surprise, that first touch of their lips is guaranteed to trigger a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement, nervousness, relief, uncertainty - it's a veritable emotional rollercoaster.
And of course, the way each character responds will depend on their individual personality, past experiences, and overall mindset. A shy, cautious character might be utterly flustered and overwhelmed. A bold, adventurous one might be thrilled and eager for more. And someone with trust issues or a painful romantic history might panic and pull away.
The key is to really get inside your characters' heads and hearts, understanding how this monumental moment resonates with them on a deep level. That's what's going to make their reactions feel raw, authentic, and achingly real for your readers.
Crafting Nuanced Reactions
(The examples I use are very cliche, and personally not my writing style, but they're simply for your reference to get a rough idea of what I'm trying to indicate)
Okay, now that we've established the emotional gravity of that first kiss, let's dive into some specific techniques for portraying your characters' reactions. Here are a few ideas:
Focus on the sensations. When a character experiences something as intense as an unexpected first kiss, their physical responses are going to be heightened. Capture the racing heartbeat, the trembling hands, the tingling skin - all those little visceral details that make the moment palpable.
For example (Very cliche but, just for reference): "Her lips were soft and warm against his, sending a shiver down his spine. His heart pounded in his ears, fingers trembling as he cupped her cheek, hardly daring to breathe."
Showcase their inner turmoil. Don't just describe what's happening externally - give us a window into your character's jumbled thoughts and feelings. Are they overjoyed? Confused? Terrified? Let us see the full emotional spectrum unfolding.
Like this: "Panic rose in her chest as his lips met hers, every nerve ending firing at once. What was happening? This couldn't be real - it had to be some kind of dream. But the way her skin tingled, the way her stomach fluttered, told her this was very much reality."
Use body language and subtle reactions. Characters don't always have to respond with grand, over-the-top gestures. Sometimes the most meaningful reactions come through in the little, unconscious movements - a shy glance, a gentle touch, a subtle smile.
For instance: "For a long moment, they simply stared at each other, frozen. Then, slowly, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, eyes sparkling with a mix of wonder and delight."
Lean into the awkwardness. First kisses, even magical ones, can also be a little clumsy and uncertain. Embrace that sense of fumbling vulnerability - it makes the moment all the more endearing and relatable.
Something like: "Their noses bumped as they leaned in, hearts racing. He hesitated, suddenly unsure, but then her hand slid around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Their lips met in a tentative, exploratory kiss that sent tingles down his spine."
Contrast reactions between characters. If you have two characters with very different personalities or perspectives, lean into that contrast to create compelling dramatic tension. How might a guarded, cynical character react compared to an optimistic romantic?
For example: "She froze, eyes wide with shock. This was the last thing she'd expected - to be kissed by her best friend, of all people. Panic fluttered in her chest, desperate to pull away. But then she saw the vulnerability in his gaze, the slight tremble in his hands, and her heart melted. Slowly, hesitantly, she kissed him back."
The key is to get creative, have fun, and be able to let your characters' unique voices and perspectives shine through.
Additional Resources
And of course, don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions! I'm always happy to chat more about anything writing related.
--Rin T.
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cursedcola ยท 2 years ago
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Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?" - Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore(Here!), Ignihyde, Diasomnia(Pt.1)(Pt.2) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. Note: May have overdone it. Also, I'm a bit rough with my french. It's been 2 years, go easy on me.
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There is a word for this young man. A term that has always been a one-way thing in his past. A noun that he has experience being the target of, and not the one it is describing.
Whipped. Oh, dear heavens, Vil is whipped for you. The thought both entices him and sends a shiver of distaste down his spine. Why? Because, my dove, in recognizing that he is whipped he is also acknowledging that he is dependent. Reliant. No longer the boss a** queen who needs nobody other than himself. The man the world knows him to be but this schoolboy crush has progressed to borderline infatuation.
Let us do a little synopsis of this downfall. A summary, if you will. An exploration of this Schoenheit's thought process as his prospective future melded from being Twisted Wonderland's resident supernova, to a domestic fantasy that would make his past self vomit.
It all began with a little birdy falling into a nest of snakes. Lost, alone, scared, weak - they slowly melted the hearts of everyone they came in contact with. Vil watched from the sidelines in interest. Not enough to investigate because *why* would he place his time in the hands of prey. It would be an utter waste.
Albeit so...Vil recognizes potential when he sees it. Not unlike himself, they took the hand they were dealt and carved a path to the top. He could respect that ... until there was a collision that threatened his own plans. Suddenly their oddities were no longer amusing and instead a hindrance. Like rain. Nice at the start, but the muddy aftermath never pleases.
And muddy his life became indeed. He became the villain he always disliked. Wretched and old. Completed his self-fulfilling prophecy...and somehow lost it all, yet gained something new in such a short span of time. He was no hero in the story, had no life-changing epiphany, yet somehow it felt different. For a brief moment, he was the fairest of them all to that little birdy. Despite his venom and scales, he was the fairest.
It dawns him that they both are not as alike as he once thought. He was playing a game of chess against someone playing checkers.
The oddity turned hindrance now became an object of interest. He started to watch them again and to approach as well. He wanted to bloom the potential he saw in them. Letting it go to waste would be neglectful on his part, so he would shelter them during their time in this den.
Or so he told himself.
While they could never make it to his level...the little birdy was morphing into a beautiful dove right before his very eyes. All without his help or a need for change. He never felt so desperate to be needed by someone else.
The object of interest becomes an object of affection. He doesn't want to recommend new potions, fashion, workouts, skincare routines - he wants to do them with you. He wants to sit in a rosewater bath together and talk about the day. He wants to be chided for wearing a sleepmask, blocking your view of his eyes at night. He wants to go on a morning jog together and share breakfast. To have you on his arm as he walks the carpet at premiers - brighter than any other accessory his stylist could choose. He wants to kiss your pulse points and smell his perfume on your skin. He wants to share clothes and give the press something to gossip about. He wants to love this little birdy who has always been a dove.
And he gets this fantasy. He has it for years but there is always an underlying gnaw beneath his skin that it is going to end - which he is prepared for initially. He does not do anything half-effort and dating you is not taken lightly - but he is prepared until he does not want to be. Until the possibility of splitting up is unfathomable and he can't imagine not having all the little moments that now he has become so...
Reliant. Whipped.
He initially wants you to propose to him, and hints at it frequently. How glorious would he look dressed in white, no? Which do you like better, black forest cake or almond chip? Oh dear...these tulips would make such a lovely Boquete for a bride...
You are either too dense to understand his hints (unlikely, considering you have years of practice) or he needs to take initiative. Well, if it is a proposal you want then it is a proposal you will get.
He stages it under the guise that he needs a partner for a photoshoot. Specifically for a wedding magazine. You, thinking this is another one of his blatant hints, comply to his pleasure. He calls in a contact from one of the magazines he has modeled for before and asks if they would like an inclusive - never before seen- scoop. Aka. to photograph his proposal and feature it on their front cover. With his reputation, the offer is accepted readily and they agree to set up the shoot with whatever theme he wishes. He goes traditional - set in a gothic chapel that is decorated with red and purple floral adornments. The works for a proposal with a dark vintage twist.
That morning, he leaves before you to handle a separate modeling gig. With a kiss to your wrist, he is gone and off to make sure that everything is perfect for when you arrive later on. Photographers know him for his tenacity, but none have ever seen Vil so anal over small details. Every ribbon must be perfect, there must be both black AND white rose petals spread along the walkway. You must be photographed in rose-tinted lighting, so the camera should face towards the biggest piece of stained glass.
When you arrive, you are escorted to hair and makeup in a whirl. The scene is a blur and you're decked head to toe in white. Gothic lace as far as the eye can see...and when you are finally allowed to enter the chapel, Vil stands haloed by his arranged decorations - waiting for you to join him.
"Stunning, my dear. You look absolutely stunning. A sight I will have etched in my thoughts for many nights to come..." he takes your hand, and signals for the cameramen to get ready. They instruct you both to pose as a couple taking their vows. The camera clicks once, and then Vil gets down on one knee.
You think it's part of the act and that he is improvising. Well, until he pulls out a ring from his breast pocket. One that is a sharp contrast from the dark atmosphere and obviously not a prop.
"Alas, my patience runs dry. I can no longer wait for you..." he begins, and takes your hand in his. Another click echoes in the room, "with this ring, I make you mine. There will be no escape. No lies or uncertainties. I am already yours. I have been for many, many years. Will you finally join me in matrimony?"
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{Black Opal. Staring into the gem puts any viewer in a trance. It sucks them in with bright swirls - hypnotizing. It is so beautiful with its intricate pattern, yet at a distance it appears solely black. We often narrow complex things down to one-note interpretations. Do with this information what you will}
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Our man of mystery likes to keep things fresh. He loves the thrill of the chase. The anticipation. The adrenaline.
There is no better game of cat and mouse in life than romance. At every stage there are twists and turns that one can never predict. Each day brings new surprises and events! At least, that is what Rook believes a relationship should entail. No partnership should ever feel the lull of comfort...no-no. There must always be a little spice and sweetness around every corner to keep the relationship alive.
At your side, Rook does not doubt his beliefs for a second. You are like a magnet for attention and rightfully so. Out of all the people he finds interesting...you are the most tantalizing to observe. He finds himself following your every movement early on. Long before you began to enter his personal bubble, you were rare prey for the hunt. Otherworldly, full of secrets, attentive, attractive, enticing - he had his mark set so firm that he would have watched you even without Vil's order.
Nothing is missed under his fond scrutiny. Rook is the first to notice small things, like if you trimmed your hair or sewed new buttons on your blazer. He has your walking pace memorized to match when he is at your side. He knows your favorite meals in the dining hall, your habitual seat in the library, how to read your body language, what your favorite treats are and when you like to have them - his knowledge is so extensive that it's up to you if it is considered sweet or creepy. Rook's affections are often teetering the line with infatuation; however, he is not controlling or weird about it. He simply is a romantic who feels the need to know the ins and outs of the person he will give his heart to.
If that includes protecting you from ill-mannered heathens and appearing out of thin air to catch you if you trip? Well, best not question where he comes from. Just know that you have a second shadow. He will only become worse when his affections are returned. You may feel the need to set ground rules for how he can behave in public. Loud declarations of compliment and suggestive topics will not be reigned in otherwise. He is a lover and a fighter. Remember that.
There will come a day that Rook feels you are ready to marry him. Yes, specifically you. He was ready very early on, likely because pining for so long (while exciting) was a chase that gave him plenty of time to learn what he wants. Any time spent waiting was merely for your sake. Only when he notes your fondness towards the idea of marriage does he create a series of tests to ensure your desires. Things like leaving a wedding magazine on the counter to see your reaction, and taking you for a romantic boat ride that just so happens to be a hotspot for couples on their honeymoon. He also mentions the topic in his flirtations more often, to see if you'll respond in kind or shy away. He is a thorough man, if anything.
Oddly enough, he takes a reserved approach for proposing. He uses poetry, which is not unlike him considering how he loves to speak with flourishes. In his heart Rook would love to set up an elaborate event to propose. Something exciting, like a train mystery or a scavenger hunt. Yet some things do not need to be active to be thrilling. Marriage is a delicate act, so it is with a delicate hand that he pens a book of poetry over the course of nineteen days. On each day, he writes one poem to describe one reason he wants to marry you. The first letter in the title of each poem corresponds to a hidden message that you will have to decipher. He does not tell you either of these things.
He hands the book off to you with a cunning grin, and says that it is up to you to find the hidden meaning. If you can, then he will give you a 'special prize'. If you ask the occasion, he offers one of his closed-eye grins and claps his hands. 'Because why not?' He'll say, and it's enough to pacify because it is such a Rook way of thinking that you don't question it.
No matter how long it takes, he waits. He'll watch you analyze each poem and pout for an answer - one he refuses to give. It's all in the chase, after all. He can be patient. All good things come to those who wait.
One cold afternoon, he finds you curled up on the couch in your shared home. A blanket around your shoulders, a hot drink, and the book nestled in your lap. Nothing out of the usual...aside from the pen in your hand hovering over a notebook. Silent as a mouse, he hovers over your shoulder to take a peek and smirks at what has you so miffed.
"Ah...I take it you have words for me, mon coeur. Are they perhaps about a certain mystery?" You jump, and slam the notebook shut before turning around. His eyes crinkle in delight at the sight - his well waited prize. The flush of your cheeks suggest you solved the puzzle and the sweat on your brow shows that you know he knows. Rook rounds about the couch in an instant and crouches on his knees in front of you. He takes your notebook, opens it, and displays the words 'Will You Marry Me?' for you. "Is this your answer? Are you confident?" You nod, avoiding his eyes and he grabs your chin to face him. With a hum of approval, he tips off his hat to pull out a wooden box. In the box is a ring, and he effortlessly slips it onto your finger without asking permission. "Mon moitiรฉ...mon trรฉsor. Je te chรฉrirai. Je t'aimerai. Je ne te laisserai jamais partir. Avec cette bague, je suis ร  toi jusqu'ร  ce que la mort nous sรฉpareโ€ฆ"
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{A large pearl, nested between two emeralds, and a pure gold band. In Rook's eyes, the ring should compliment the wearer. It is the accent piece to your beauty. It should be comfortable, so you never have reason to remove it. In addition to this, it should also serve as a reminder that he is always looking for you. The pearl represents his untainted affection, and the two emeralds are his all-seeing eyes. He hopes this ring brings feelings of comfort and safety}
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He is beauty, he is grace, he will punch you in the face - unless you're the object of his affections. Then you get a get out of jail free card. One use. Reinstated every time his heart skips a beat.
Our young lad is a bit of an unpredictable case when it comes to his emotions. Growing up in a small town like Harveston, there was no one his age to spend time with. NRC became his first exposure to people his age, and that made you his first love by default. He wasn't looking for it, didn't have any way to identify it, and frankly he disliked the emotions at first for various reasons. There is a lot to unpack here.
As everyone knows, Epel has a feminine appearance. The exact opposite of how he feels inside. The frilly clothes his dorm makes him wear do nothing to fix that - and now there is this tingling feeling in his chest that takes away his thought process? No. Just no. Not welcome at all. He needs his wits to make up for his unassuming appearance, and he ain't going to have some stranger twisting that about just because they're a bit attractive. Every apple tastes sweet until you try another kind - he says to himself.
He lets it fester for some time and actively avoids you. He sees the hurt in your eyes at his offput demeanor, but can't do much about it. It's your fault if you want to put yourself out there when everyone knows he's not the biggest talker.
Unfortunately...you stick around. Being in his academic year means that most of your classes align, and eventually your friend group does as well. There is no getting around you, and it doesn't take long for other people to connect the dots. Any chance at him getting a tougher reputation were ruined before they even began.
Eventually his resilience runs out and he gives in. Except now we have reason two - he has no chance with you. Zip. Nada. How Lovely.
Why the h*ll would ya go for this country bumpkin with the social skills of a rock? You'd be crazy to an' he ain't going to put himself out for heartbreak.
Now he's stuck humming love tunes and making carved apples of your face because he has years of pining built up with no outlet. It's pitiable, which makes him seethe because he can't do nothin' about it. Rook teased him once after finding Epel making yet another carving while laying in bed, and barely missed getting an apple to the head. The splattered remains of his fruit art on the wall spoke more than any threat could.
Point being, he is emotionally stunted and so he does not ever confess. Not until you do, that is. In that moment all class flew out of his body and he reverted to the socially challenged boy he was before enrolling at NRC. An extremely rare sight for anyone to see...he cringes thinking back on it. When you first said your feelings, he thought you were pulling a prank and got pissed. When he processed that you were serious, Epel lost control of himself and just blurted his thoughts out like a child.
Which is why his proposal is going to be different. It *has* to be different. This time, he'll be the one to ask you and he'll be prepared to avoid any mess ups. He refuses to be one-upped for such an important moment. This time you will be the flustered mess, and he will be the collected one.
To do this, he chooses to propose back in Harveston where he is most in his element. You'll both stay with his family on a weekend vacation in autumn, which meant there would be plenty of open land to arrange for something nice. Not to mention nice scenery from all the fallen leaves and orchards being in bloom. After a long talk with his family, he'd arrange to take you on a day tour of the land on horseback. Basically flaunt all of his farmboy knowledge for a confidence boost, and at the end of the night he'd light a campfire. With some warm cider, the noises of the night, and calm warmth of the hearth - he'd propose. It was almost perfect. *Almost*.
A simple ring feels too disconnected for Epel, and anything extravagant is too expensive considering the family farm's financial state. So, he decides to make it extra special by carving the ring box himself. Wood isn't that much different than apples...
On the first night he decides to work on some finishing touches after you've gone to sleep, and sits on the front porch to widdle away at the design. Like he does when carving apples, he hums a tune into the night as he focuses. Thoughts of the next day making him a bit louder and more excitable than usual - which, unfortunately wakes you up.
The front door opens and he pays it no heed, thinking it's one of his parents coming out for some fresh air. When you plop down next to him and look at the box - well, to say the earth shattered would be an understatement.
"Why aren't you sleepin'?!" His heart hammers and he tries to hide the box under one of his legs. The reaction being too late, since you already got a good look at it. You quirk an eyebrow at his haste, and a mischievous glint twists in your eye. Without warning, you fight him to see what's behind his back. 'What'cha got there Epel~ Why you so embarased huhu~' you tease and his ears flush a deep red. "It's nothin'! Mind your own buisness" 'Well clearly it's something' "I said it's not for you! Get your hands off me," 'Oh? I thought you liked my hands on you~ It looked like a ring box though. Who're you giving a ring to, huh?' "Dangit maybe you'd find out if ya stopped ruining your own surprises!" In his last attempt to avoid your teasing, he tries to yank away but drops the box. It hits the porch with a thud and the lid pops open to show an engagement ring. "...ah sh*t," he swears and hastily crouches to pick it up. You don't tear your eyes away from it, neither from the carvings or how your name is etched in perfect cursive on the lid. Still on his knee, Epel checks the ring for damage before noticing your shocked stupor. He looks at the box again, and signs through his nose before turning towards you. "I had a whole day planned, y'hear me?! For once, I wanted ta be the one surprisin' you...but seein' how you're all tight lipped now, guess I did a good, huh? So? What'dya say? Will you marry me?"
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{Crafted using the common hardwood from one of the many apple trees on the family farm. On the outside, there is a carving of a tree taking roots to symbolize the start of a new life. Definitely not because he was surrounded by trees while working on it, and decided to use them for inspiration. When the box is open, the top lid has your names carved along with the date. Well, the date of his *intended* proposal. That will need to be altered. Inside is a simple rose-gold band with small diamonds. Despite the ring's simplicity, he hopes his efforts to make you feel special are not in vain}
NOTE: Translation for Rook: "I will cherish you. I will love you. I'll never let you go. With this ring, I'm yours till death do us part"
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courtmartialme ยท 10 months ago
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some examples i can think of brotherhood crimes of doing riza(and royai) dirty in my opinion that's the absolute truth in the universe. consciously excluding stuff i think are minor but annoy me just as bad or else this post would be too exhausting:
being ugly in general
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not including her time travel joke from when they learn that the elrics are kids and not adults on their way to recruiting them
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not including the scene where roy meets her after she calls him when she meets barry the chopper and threatens to burn him out of jealousy
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changing the dialogue after roy saves her from gluttony from:
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to:
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LIKE...... if brotherhood has the habit of cutting off scenes to make it shorter then WHY they would change this scene to become BIGGER AND WORSE. the dialogue in manga is a clear example of their trust and wordless care for each other. while in broho it's just ?????? roy being an asshole????? to his wife?????? whom he just left his post running for bc he sensed she was in danger???? whoever chose to change this dialogue. kill yourself
riza being nice to alphonse when they are at 3rd laboratory:
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not including the only time in the whole series roy calls her by her first name only:
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the WHOLE ishval arc. riza telling ed about ishval lasts a whole ass volume while it's barely an entire episode in anime like... hm.. for starters the way roy and riza meet again there is different. in manga she saves roy and hughes from a surprise attack, and only realizes it's roy when she sees him through the scope. then hughes tells roy that they brought a talented sniper from the academy and goes after her to thank her for saving them. in anime riza suddenly shows up to roy when he was talking to hughes and like... not necessarily a bad thing i guess but...... yeah.... also this whole conversation is cut off if i remember right.. among a lot of other things LOL i hate how ishval arc is played down in BH
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riza being funny and cute not being included again
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this scene when they reach 3rd lab again in promised day and roy jokes about wanting to see her honest tears again and riza replies saying water makes him useless BUT in manga she's all cute and blushy while in anime they make her be all # girlbaws about it because that's all brotherhood riza is about lmao they took away her moeness...crime
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in manga, after roy gives up killing envy upon realizing it would lead to riza shooting him then killing herself, it shows him lowering her gun without the glove he previously had on. symbolizing that he lowered his weapon before he could lower hers. in anime he still has his gloves on
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EDIT I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PANEL OF THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RIZA BEING INSUBORDINATE AND A BRAT SHE'S SO CUTE THIS PANEL IS WHAT INSPIRED MY USERNAME... SHE'S SO CUTE...... brotherhood is so scared of letting riza be cute and moe because she would be too powerful if they let her
EDIT 222222 BECAUSE I WOKE UP IN COLD SWEAT AT REMEMBERING I FORGOT THIS TOO
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roy visits madame christmas' bar looking down and she asks him why doesn't he and elizabeth go someplace fun... we all know who elizabeth is right... and he says miserably that another man took elizabeth away from him(referring to riza being kept hostage by bradley) and at that the other girl asks if that means she has a chance with him now. everyone knows that roy is so wifepilled he won't look any other way if riza is in the picture lmao also how embarrassing it is that even your mom knows you're fucking your subordinate
i'm convinced somebody at BH staff hated riza's ass because of how often riza and royai scenes are changed or ignored... i know it's common for anime adaptations to cut off moments from manga but for an anime that whole premise is to be The Better Adaptation, doing it so often makes it bad to me. if you repeatedly exclude scenes that tell more about the characters because they're "not relevant to the plot", eventually there will be no actual personality left, only characters that are plot props
THERE'S A LOT MORE i wanted to include but this is already long enough and i got tired LMFAO a lot of things(most not included) are non issues because are mostly about riza being a bit silly, or showing more expression than she does in anime in a scene that otherwise doesn't change anything. but they still annoy me because by repeatedly excluding and changing these moments add to the view people have of her being nagging and stoic, at an attempt to make her a cool flawless Good Woman Character. what for.
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cy-cyborg ยท 11 months ago
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Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart
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When a character in a story becomes disabled, they'll sometimes experience a trope that I like to call "the disabling change of heart". This is when the character goes through a massive change in their outlook, their personality, their goals or even roll in the story, specifically because they became (or are about to become) physically disabled. Sometimes, this will be in relatively small ways: the happy-go-lucky comedic relief character might become bitter, angry and jaded after getting into an accident that caused a spinal injury, or the severally depressed and nihilistic character might suddenly start acting more cheerful and hopeful, stating that loosing their leg has "put things into perspective and showed them what really matters". In other cases though, the impact is much larger, the heroic character you've been hearing about looses an arm thanks to the main character's actions, causing them to become consumed with anger and self-loathing which they take out on everyone else, eventually becoming an antagonist as they seek revenge for what the main character did to them. The morally grey or even villainous character is injured by their own scheme, giving themselves a permanent disability in the process, which prompts a change of heart and leads them to turn their lives around and become better people, maybe even deciding to team up with the heroes.
Now, having a character go through a personality and goal change due to a major life event, such as becoming physically disabled, isn't inherently bad. A lot of writers are told to tie major shifts in your character's development to major life events, because realistically, something like becoming newly disabled will at least impact how you view the world around you. I very frequently talk about how if I didn't loose my legs, I would have become a vastly different person, but the issues with this trope depends on how it's used and the reasons behind these developments, and whether or not the change suits the character in question.
Before we get into things, I would like to specify that in this post, I'm only going to be talking about how this trope is used with physical disabilities and other easily visible forms of disability. It does show up with characters who develop disabilities under the mentally ill and neurodivergent umbrellas, and is actually a bit more common than what I'm talking about today, but the specific ways its utilised are so different that it's more or less a separate trope, and one that deserves much more attention than I could give it here as this is already going to be a pretty long post. So for today, I'm keeping to it's use with physical and visible disabilities, and we'll talk about how this trope is used with neurodivergence and mental illness another day.
The main thing you need to be mindful of is ensuring that you, as an author, are not including your ingrained biases about disability into the reasoning behind the change. Let's look at one of the examples from before, an evil character who, after loosing their arm (because it's almost always loosing an arm for some reason) becomes a villain and wants revenge against the main character. In a story like this example, the character who became an amputee often views this new disability as something that has ruined their life. It's something that has caused them to suffer, and they want to make the main character (or whoever has "wronged" them) suffer like they did. Stories like this example portray disability as something that is not just horrible, but life-destroying, especially with villains who become all-consumed by the misery this disability has brought them. Many stories that utilise this version of the trope also often perpetuate the idea that if you become disabled, you'll have to give up all the things you love and your goals, even when this wouldn't necessarily be true for the character in question.
Let's say your character was a knight, and the main character cut off their arm in a training accident. obviously you can't be a knight with only one arm because you can't fight anymore, so they left their order. Now this character has become a villain and has found power that "makes up" for their disability, perhaps magic or some other force that doesn't exist in the real world, and are back to get revenge on the character for ruining their lives. Here's the thing though, the loss of a limb, or at least, the loss of an arm specifically, often isn't the career ender people think it is, even back then. In fact, there are many historical records of real amputees continuing to serve as knights and other similar military roles after loosing an arm or at the very least, continuing to fight in other ways. One such example was Gรถtz of the Iron Hand, a mercenary knight who lost his arm to a cannon. Gรถtz had fought as part of the Roman empire's military in 1498, but shortly after left to form his own mercenary company. He lost his hand in 1504 and continued his career as a mercenary with the help of an iron prosthetic capable of holding his sword and the reigns of his horse, among many other things such as writing, for another 40 years. Gรถtz wasn't unique in this though, several suits of armour from the same time period have been found with integrated prosthetic hands, though the names of their owners are unknown. There was also Oruรง Reis (aka Aruj Barbarossa), A privateer admiral who served the Ottoman Empire in and around the Mediterranean who lost his left hand - earning him one of many nicknames: Silver-Hand, thanks to the colour of his prosthetic. Oruรง, like Gรถtz, continued his career for several more years until he was eventually killed in 1518.
My point in bringing this up, is to highlight how important it is to double check that the reason your character's whole motivation for turning to villainy, isn't just based on your ideas about what a disabled person can or can not do. Actually double check it, research it, especially if it's important for your plot.
Even in the cases where the disability in question actually would stop someone from being able to do something, the incorrect assumptions can still occur and cause issues in different ways. For example, a character in a more modern setting who looses their arm due to an accident the main character was responsible for while serving in the military would be discharged, ruining the character's plan to become a general some day. This absolutely would be devastating for a character like that, and they realistically could struggle to adjust, both in terms of getting used to their disability and finding new goals for their life. They may well feel anger at the main character, however, if you are portraying just living with a disability, in the case of this example, living with an amputation as inherently "suffering" for no other reason than they are disabled, it is still perpetuating those really negative ideas about disability. I've said this a few times in other posts, but villains who are evil or even just antagonists purely because they're disabled or are trying to avoid becoming disabled is a trope all its own and one that is best avoided if you yourself aren't disabled, as even outside of spreading these negative ideas about life with a disability, it's just an overdone and overused trope.
But what about when this trope goes in the other direction? when you have an antagonistic or even just morally grey character who becomes disabled and this is the catalyst that turns them into a good guy?
For the longest time, I knew I usually disliked this version of the trope too, but I couldn't put my finger on why. With disability being the reason someone became a villain, the underlying reason it's there is often able to be boiled down to "I, the writer, think being disabled would be terrible and life like that is inherently suffering, so this character is angry about it," which is obviously an issue (the "inherently suffering" bit, not the anger). However, when a character becomes good due to becoming disabled, the reasoning is usually more along the lines of, "this is a big change in a character's life that has caused them to reconsider and revaluate things" (or at least, that's what I thought). This isn't bad, nor is it necessarily unrealistic. Hell, as I already said, I do consider my disability to be a catalyst that made me into who I am today. I also know plenty of people who, after becoming disabled later in life, did have a big change in how they viewed themselves and the world, and who consider themselves better people since becoming disabled. It's far, far from a universal experience, mind you, but it does happen. So why did this version of the trope still not sit right with me?
Well, I think there's a few reasons for it. The first being that there's a tendency for non-disabled people to think real disabled people are just incapable of evil deeds, both in the sense that they aren't physically capable of doing them (which is bad and not even always true for the reasons we already discussed), but also in the sense that there's this idea that disabled people are, for some reason, inherently more "good" and "innocent" - As if breaking your back or loosing a limb causes all evil and impure thoughts to be purged from the body. This is a result of many folks viewing disabled people as child-like, and thus attributing child-like traits (such as innocence) to them, even subconsciously. This is an incredibly common issue and something disability rights organisations are constantly pushing back against, as this mentality can cause a lot of unnecessary barriers for us. With how often I and many other disabled people are subjected to infantilization, I would be honestly shocked if it wasn't at least partially responsible for people thinking becoming disabled is a good reason to kick off a redemption arc.
This infantilization isn't unique to physically disabled people by the way, in fact it's way, way, more commonly directed at people with intellectual and developmental disabilities - or at least, people are more open about it, but as I already mentioned, how that is reflected in tropes like The Disabling Change of Heart is vastly different and deserves a post of it's own.
That's mostly just speculation on my part though, since that infantilising mindset does show up a lot in media, but not usually as part of this trope specifically.
However, it's not the only reason I wasn't a fan of it. When the disabling change of heart is used to fuel redemption arcs, I think, once again, that the disability itself being credited with causing the change directly is another factor. When this happens, it's usually because "it put things into perspective for me and showed me what really mattered."
This sounds better than our previous example on the surface, but stories that use this logic are often still portraying disability as an inherently bad and tragic thing, something so bad, in fact, that it makes all the other (legitimate) issues they thought were massive before seem so small by comparison. This is a type of inspiration porn: content made to make non-disabled people feel inspired or just better about their own situation. It's the mentality of "well my life is bad, but it could be worse, at least I'm not disabled like that!"
In a fictional story, this might look like an athlete character who dreamed of making it big so they could be famous and get out of poverty. They were a dick to anyone who got in their way but only because they were worried about not being able to make rent if they don't constantly win. One day though, they overworked themselves and got into a car accident on the way home because they were too tired, and now they're in a wheelchair and can no longer walk, which is (supposedly) absolutely tragic and way worse than anything else they were already going through. But they end up becoming a better person because it has put things into perspective for them. Yeah they were struggling to make ends meet, but at least they weren't disabled! Now that they are, they know they shouldn't have cared so much, because money doesn't matter when compared to not being able to walk, right?
As well as portraying disability in a negative light, these kinds of stories dismiss and diminish the other struggles or challenges the character is experiencing, placing the status of "not disabled" above all else.
There's also the fact that, when a lot of real people say their disabilities had positive impacts on their lives, they don't usually mean the disability itself is directly responsible for the change. There's exceptions of course but for myself personally, and most of the people I know who say they are better people because of/since becoming disabled, the disability has been more of a neutral catalyst than the actual cause of positive change. Meaning, it opened the door to allow those changes to happen, but it wasn't the direct cause. For me personally, becoming physically disabled at a young age didn't make me a nice person like people expect, I was still a little judgemental asshole for a lot of my childhood. However, because I was disabled, I had to travel a lot, initially because I needed medical treatment that my local hospital wasn't equip to provide, and later, because I started competing in disability sports. because of both of those things, I met people I never would have otherwise who made me reconsider what I'd been taught on a wide range of subjects, and made me question where those beliefs had come from in the first place. When I say my disability played a part in who I became, it wasn't because my disability itself change me, but it helped me meet people who were positive influences on me and my life. but when creatives make characters who experience arcs like this, they ignore this, again, defaulting to the "this was a bad thing that just put all my other problems into perspective" reasoning.
Some iterations of this trope also use disability as a kind of "karmic punishment" where the disability is portrayed as a rightfully deserved punishment for an evil character's deeds - usually something relating to the disability they acquired but not always. An example might look like an evil tyrant who punishes the rebels they captured by cutting off their hands. Eventually, this catches up with him, maybe the friend or a child of one of the rebels is able to capture the tyrant and cuts his hands off as payback so that he gets a taste of his own medicine, a taste of the suffering he imposed on others. Now facing at least one of the same realities of the people he subjugated, he realises the error of his ways. With some pressure from the main characters, he has a change of heart and surrenders himself, steps down to let someone else take his place, or perhaps he decides to start changing policies to be more in-line with these new morals until some other character usurps him, becoming an even bigger threat than the previous former tyrant.
Once again, stories that use a disability like this are still portraying the disability as an overall inherently bad thing, but there's the added layer at play in this example. The thing is, there are a lot of people in real-life who actually believe disability is a punishment from God. I remember one time when I was over in the US, an older lady came and sat down on the seat beside me on the bus and started asking me about my disability and specifically, how I became disabled. This isn't an unusual interaction, it happens fairly regularly whenever I use public transport, but on this particular day, the conversation suddenly shifted when I told her I became disabled when I was very young. This woman, despite the bus-driver's best efforts to get her to stop, ended up lecturing me for an hour and a half (during which time I couldn't move due to how my wheelchair was held in place) about how my disability was punishment from God for my parent's sins. She then tried to convince me to attend her church, claiming they would be able to heal me. And the thing is, this isn't an uncommon experience.
A lot of disabled people are targeted by cults using this same method: they'll convince people their disabilities are a punishment, make them believe they deserved it, that they just weren't good enough, but don't worry, if you repent and come to our specific church we can heal you. There was even a case in Australia recently that uncovered a cult called Universal Medicine, who taught that disabled people were reincarnations of evil people, and that being disabled in this life was their punishment, as well as that parents who have disabled children were being punished for other sinful behaviours. They were found to be operating a disability care service named Fabic that was being paid for by the NDIS, a subsection of the Australian government funded healthcare system that specifically aids disabled Australians by paying for and subsidising treatments, technologies (such as mobility aids) and other services relating to their disability. Fabic was found to be stealing excessive amounts of funding from their disabled clients under the guise of therapies and carer services, but was not actually helping their clients at all. Whether it's just taking advantage of them to get their money, or actually using this logic as a justification to mistreat them, this mentality of "disability is a punishment" actually gets real disabled people hurt or worse, and so seeing it come up in media, even if there is no ill-intent, can be very distressing and uncomfortable for disabled audiences.
So with all this being said, is the disabling change of heart a trope you should avoid in all it's forms and versions? No, but it does need to be handled with extreme care. I do think it should be avoided as a reason for a character becoming evil for the most part. If that really can't be avoided in your story though, at the very least, ensure that you foreshadow the change. Your happy little ray of sunshine, embodiment of sweetness and innocence type character probably isn't going to turn murderous and want revenge for an accident for example. A character who is likely to be driven to that kind of extreme of wanting revenge for their disability, so much so that they become a villain, probably already had at least a few traits that would predispose them to that line of thinking already, before becoming disabled. As for when it goes in the other direction, and you have a character becoming a good guy, avoid using the reasoning that "the disability put things into perspective for me". Instead, if you must use this version of the trope, use the character's new disability as the reason they encountered other people and situations that challenged their views, things they wouldn't have encountered otherwise. No matter the reason though, be very careful to avoid inspiration porn, and as always, try to find a sensitivity reader to give your story a once-over, just to make sure something didn't slip under your radar.
[Thumbnail ID: An illustrated image showing the same elf character twice. The picture of her on the left shows her laughing evilly, two tiny horns protruding through her brown hair. She is wearing a black dress and red shoes. On the right shows her in a yellow dress, sitting in a bright pink wheelchair with her head held eye and her eyes closed. The horns have been replaced with a glowing halo. In the centre is text that reads: "Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart." /End ID]
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meggtheegg ยท 1 year ago
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FNAF Movie Theory...
I'm pretty sure there's still one major plot twist in the universe of the movie that's been set up for a sequel but hasn't actually happened yet. Heavy spoilers under the cut:
After watching the movie in theaters and then revisiting a few scenes on Peacock, I'm still kind of convinced that Mike Schmidt is Michael Afton.
Here's my reasoning. A lot of the characters spend time acting like they know something the audience/other characters don't, and those things are...mostly resolved. But some of them just...kind of aren't.
The main thing that sticks out to me is William's whole storyline. Starting with the scene where he offers Mike the job, his behavior is almost explained by the movie's logic. He sees Mike's name, seems...kind of deeply upset, looks at him very closely, stands to get coffee, and has a moment of visible internal conflict. Then he instantly offers him the Freddy's job. The way the movie frames this, it seems to be saying that he recognized the name of one of his victims, realized this was the kid's brother, and decided to kill him right then and there. Which is passable as an explanation, but it has a lot of holes, if you look deeper.
Why would William so instantly recognize a fairly common last name as the brother of some kid he killed that wasn't even anywhere near Freddy's? Why did he kidnap/kill Garrett in the first place, in some random forest in Nebraska? Why did he see the name on the file, then immediately stop and examine Mike's face so closely, when Mike's memories/dreams pretty clearly show that they never saw each others' faces when Garrett was taken? Why did he send Vanessa to "keep Mike in the dark" if he purposely gave him the job to get him killed? Why not have the animatronics kill him right away? He didn't know that Mike was searching for the man who took his brother, and while he could have maybe guessed he was still actively haunted by what happened based on Mike beating up a guy that he thought was kidnapping someone, it still feels like a weird choice to go and hire him, then just have him do the job with no issue for a few days.
As for Vanessa, we see that she's been cleaning up William's messes for years. Why is Mike the one she changes her mind and stands up to her father for? There's no implied romance between the two and no particularly meaningful connection beyond them both having family issues. I guess she cares about Abby because she's a kid, but kids getting hurt clearly never stopped her from helping her father before.
And, on a more meta level, this is Scott and his storytelling style we're talking about. The man puts plot twists inside of plot twists and everything always ties back into the Aftons, somehow.
So, here's my theory: I think that Mike is William's kid, but Mike's mom left Afton when he was young and remarried the man that Mike thinks is his father.
It seems convoluted and maybe cliche, but if it's true, then suddenly there's an answer to all of those questions. "Michael Schmidt" isn't exactly an eye-catching name, unless you had a kid named Michael and your ex-wife married a guy with the last name Schmidt. Garrett's kidnapping, then, becomes an act of intentional, petty revenge rather than an extremely random coincidence. Giving Mike the job and sending in Vanessa suddenly becomes about piecing together how much he knows and figuring out if he's worth trying to reconnect with or is just a threat that needs to be killed. (It feels worth noting that William is as far as I can remember the only person to call him Michael in the whole film. He also very pointedly never says "Schmidt" until he's decided to kill Mike and suddenly announces his full name out loud. If he went by Michael as a little kid, that is what William would default to calling him, but if he took the new husband's last name, that would be like like salt in the wound that he wouldn't want to voice. By finally saying it out loud, it feels like he's making the decision to fully separate himself from Mike.)
As for Vanessa, if Mike is her brother, it makes sense that he would be the person she'd turn against William to save. It would be weird for her not to tell him, but she could also be trying to protect him, in some way. There's never any mention of her mother, and it seems like it's just been her and William for a long time. Also, ending the movie with her in a coma feels like a strange narrative choice, but it makes sense if she knows information that's purposely being kept hidden for the sequel.
Of course, it could just be that the movie has kind of messy writing and I'm trying to fix it because I want there to be a deeper reason for it. Maybe there is no Michael Afton in the movies, or maybe he's off chilling and doing his own thing somewhere and we'll see him in the sequel. Only time will tell.
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am-i-the-asshole-official ยท 1 year ago
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aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.
I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.
However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.
Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.
Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.
First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.
It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.
I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.
TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?
What are these acronyms?
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plumpybread ยท 1 month ago
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Asking because of the previous ask, are you not a fan of Ethan anymore? If so, why?
It's complicated, I suppose (rant where i talk abt ethan but then also my OCs in general)
I really do not like the first version of Ethan I made like 3 years ago. Obviously I like indulging in devilish ideas but I don't know, it ended up turning into something I didn't really end up liking too much.
Then I revisited and sort of rewrote his story a bit a while back when making the OC archive site (I'm aware the site is not available anymore for the people who asked, I took it down myself) and was much happier with it for a while.
Don't get me wrong, I like Ethan, I know he's the OC people seem to like the most, but it's still like a personal mental battle of like maybe it's too effed up? Even when I draw characters going through unwilling/accidental extreme weight gain, I make them either ambivalent or accepting of their situation, but for Ethan it's kind of like torture, and I can't bring myself to get like..aroused and excited to draw more of that *personally*.
Changing up his lore wouldn't really work either since his story is based on helplessness and stuff, and it'd be disingenuous to make him be happy with his situation, so I've just sort of subconsciously decided to leave him as is and treat his content as its self contained story more than nsfw art to goon to, if that makes sense. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but just wanted to say what goes through my head.
I also don't really revisit Ethan for the same reason I don't tend to draw much of all the past OCs I've made, as I see each of them as a way to explore different facets of how weight gain can manifest and adapt into a character's life to create a story around it, and I feel like I've covered most of the ground around them already.
All of my OCs come from a sudden short prompt that pops up in my head, usually out of nowhere. I suddenly wanted to make a big-hearted southern farm guy who was super massive and I immediately ran to draw Rudy, for example.
I draw them a little reference, with my typical bullet points next to them with basic info to get an idea of what their dynamic is like, and a more lengthily written backstory or description if I'm feeling fancy under it, and then for the next week or two it's all art of them and answering questions about them... and then another idea pops up, and a new OC comes in.
It's not that I get tired of them, but I just simply do not know what to draw with them. Ethan is the biggest outlier in this case, since he is my fattest OC and half immobile, you just don't really know how else to bring something new that's not him laying on his bed at a slightly different angle.
I guess that's why I always do OC asks, I sort of need them to be able to know what to draw with them, since I struggle coming with things like that by myself, and you know I always like avoiding drawing a character in a void with no context.
The Genshin Obesity AU is my longest running like "project"?? thing just because there is an endless amount of content I can pull from since there's all these characters, places and possibilities I can write from. My OCs are obviously much more self-contained and moreso serve as individual experiments to explore different people and scenarios, so after the 10th drawing of them... I genuinely do not know what else I can add to them.
I hope that was a bit insightful. I know most of you guys love Ethan, and I love him too! But I don't know, I guess this is why I don't tend to have immobile/near immobile OCs, since the potential art ideas for them drop to just them sitting on a mattress or sitting on the floor and I'm just left confused on what to do with them.
Maybe Ethan in his college days is something you guys might be interested in? Or I don't know, I'm just writing this post as my thoughts enter my head.
Sorry for the rant, I sure do love typing, hope this clears up some questions people might've had
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