#but alas. he just gets regular cowboy moments

[mo-ok]

[littlemissmiller]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥

Pairing: billy the kid x fem!reader

Summary: you are a bartnder/saloon girl at a bar in town. when billy rides into town, he is absolutely in love with you, but takes it slow. one night you invite him home and he can’t resist you any longer

Warning: 21+ (drinking) fluff, smut, p in v, semi-rough sex (ass slapping), hickeys, oral (f receiving), aftercare, porn with a plot

Word count: 5.1k

A/N: hello friends :) first i just want to say thank you for the support! it has truly exceeded my expectations given i thought like three people were going to read my last two posts sooo thank you thank you thank you all! second, i was trying to get this out to y’all sooner, especially with season 2 being announced, but alas life be busy and i wanted to get this just right so here y’all go! a cute lil fluffy smutty billy moment. i hope to release more billy(and coryo) related content as well as other stuff soooo get excited ♥︎ ! p.s. there is a lil treat at the end ;)

Artwork

The moment you saw him ride into town, you knew you had to have him. You had seen a lot of cowboys come into town, handsome ones too. Something about Billy however, had you wondering about what the story was behind those mysterious eyes. His pretty blue eyes that pierced into your soul. He always looked at you so intently under the brim of his hat and would study you. Trying to figure you out just as much as you were with him. 

Billy became a regular at the saloon and would start to stay and wait for you to walk you home. It never went beyond that. He was such a gentleman, despite how easily you would have accepted him had he offered himself to you. Little did you know that he was being patient with you because he liked you so much. His last encounter with a woman ended up being a short and fast heartbreak, which pained him at the time and made himself feel like a fool in the long term. So he had swore to himself the next time he had the inclination to want someone he thought was good enough for love, he wouldn’t rush it. He didn’t want to scare you off like the precious creature you were to him. 

One morning you can’t stop thinking about him on the way to the market. Your sister was coming into town with her family and you had a big dinner to plan. As you arrived at the market, you were greeted by a familiar face. 

“Well good morning, darling” Billy stated tipping his hat “What brings you into town so early?” 

“Could ask you the same” you smiled “I need groceries”

“New rope for cattle ranching. Could I offer you any assistance sweetheart?”

Your heart fluttered at the pet names and your face went flush. You felt hot, your corset somehow becoming tighter, and your stomach nearly dropped. You nervously tucked your hair behind your ear. 

“Well if you insist” you quipped back

Billy held your basket for you as you shopped. He eventually obtained his rope and the pair bought their goods and were on their way. Of course, Billy offered you a ride home, despite the short distance. You rode on his horse as he rode with you behind him. You loved the feeling of being able to grip onto his waist like this. A seemingly innocent action that you reveled in. And with being this close to him, you happily took in the scent of gunpowder and fresh pine wood that wafted from his shirt. He would occasionally glance over his shoulder to sneak a look at you. He smiled to himself at how pretty your eyes looked as you held onto him tightly, your basket of groceries tucked in your elbow. They arrived soon enough at your home and Billy assisted you inside. 

“Well thank you Billy. Always willing to help me ain’t ya.” You smiled sweetly at him. The kind of smile that made Billy loose his thoughts. Your big doe eyes once again captured his attention. 

“Of course. A lady like yourself deserves all the help in the world.”

“Why are you sweeting me up like I’m hot tea William Bonney?” 

“Maybe because you are sweet. Like honey.” He smiled back, taking a step closer to you. This time, sensing your nerves, he pushed your hair back behind your  ear. 

“So what is all this food for anyways. Not that I would judge but it seems like a lot for a women who lives alone.”

“Got family coming in. They’ll be wanting a nice meal the first night at least.” You explained lightly gripping his bicep, rubbing his arm with your thumb. 

“And I reckon you’ll need some help cooking that. Don’t you think?” 

Normally you wouldn’t need the help. Especially since you enjoyed to cook and was very picky about who was in your kitchen. But with Billy asking, how could you say no.

“You don’t have somewhere better to be” she teased 

“Where else better to be than with you. Besides just so happens I’m free all day, sugar.” 

“Well then, I suppose I better keep ya busy. But I ain’t no nice cook. You’re going have to listen to me” you instructed 

“Yes ma’am” he agreed 

The two spent the whole day preparing the meal for later that evening. Billy practically danced around you all day. Using any excuse to get close to you. Whether it was reaching across you to grab a cutting knife or touching your lower back when he had a question about something, he was as bold as a man could be without crossing the line too much. Not that you didn’t want him to. His actions were more than welcomed and excited you each time he said “pardon me darling” or “I got another silly question for you dear”. 

With Billy’s help, preparations took half the time it usually would. You poured a glass of whiskey for you both, as they finished the last of the preparations. 

“Well I think this is well deserved. Thanks again for all the help.” 

“Anytime. Thanks for the drink.” He smiled

“It’s the least I could do Billy.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair before your family shows up.” He announced, taking a sip of his drink

“Oh don’t feel rushed.” You reassured 

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome darling. Don’t worry about it.”  

He finished his drink and you insist on pouring him one more, just to keep him longer. He thanked you once again for the drink, tipped his hat to you, then was on his way. He gave you one last smile over his shoulder and was off back to the ranch. 

Once your sister arrived, you found it hard to concentrate on the joy of seeing your family. They were only in town for the weekend, on their way to visit your brother-in-law’s family two towns over. As excited as you were to see your sister, nephew and brother-in-law, your mind was elsewhere. And your sister noticed. 

“Hey, you seem distant. Is everything alright?” 

“Yes. Just lost in thought.” 

“Lost in thought about what pray tell?” Your sister asks

“A man” you whispered 

“You’re finally seeing someone?” Your sister, asked suspicious yet hopeful. 

“Not really. I’d like to. I sure do fancy him.” You admitted 

“Does he fancy you?” 

“Seems to.” You guessed “I tried to make him stay and dine with us but he was too polite”

“He was here?” Your sister perked up

“He helped prepare the meal.” 

“Did he now? A gentleman and a cook”

You rolled her eyes. “You know I didn’t let him get anywhere near the oven. He washed and chopped some vegetables. And helped season the beef cuts. 

“What a fine young man nonetheless” Your sister smiled

The rest of the evening went by. You’re sister, her husband and their son stayed until about 8 o’clock. After they left, you went upstairs and prepared yourself for bed. You changed into a white nightgown, and your long hair falls out of your neat, tight bun. As you brushed it out at your vanity, your attention wondered back to your favorite cowboy. You couldn’t help but wonder what he could be getting up to at the moment. You desperately wished that somehow he would want to find his way back to your doorstep and come stay the night with you. You didn’t care if that was too unbecoming of a proper lady. You wanted him. 

The next morning when you woke up, you headed off to see how your sister and their family were settling in for the weekend. They had rented a room at a boarding house at the end of town, you got ready and made it out the door. Once she arrived, her sister was already sat down at breakfast with her son and husband. They spotted her and invited her to join them. Another patron entered the bar and you turned to briefly look who it was. As he entered, Billy looked around for a seat and spotted you. He smiled, tipped his hat, and strode over to the bar where he took a seat. 

“Is that him?” She asked and you nodded

“My word ain’t he handsome.” You’re sister exclaimed 

“He looks familiar…” your sister’s husband noted as he peered at him 

“That’s just because a pretty face like his stands out.” You’re sister smiled at you 

The rest of the day you, along with your sister’s family, shopped for some new shirts for your nephew, some new dresses for herself, and you’re sister insisted on buying one for you to impress Billy. 

“Come on! What about this blue one?” She exclaimed

She held up the dress and you examined it. It was long, ruffled, and had a square neckline that was laced in white trim. It was pretty, but something else caught your eye. A purple dress, with a sweetheart neckline. The sleeves were short, puffed out and the waist was made to look like a corset, tying snugly in the front. 

“If you’re gonna get me a dress to impress Billy, then this is the one I want” You declared, striding over to the dress and showing it off to your sister. 

Your sister bought you the dress and you accompanied her family back to the room they were staying in. You tried on the dress, which fit you perfectly. Your sister was practically gawking at you, in awe at how beautiful you looked in it. 

“You’re so beautiful” you’re sister exclaimed 

“As are you.” You rolled your eyes

“Not as beautiful as you look right now!” Your sister protested. “He’s going to love it” she whispered. 

Your sister and her family left the next morning to see her husband’s parents. You bid her a goodbye and watched as she rode out of town. You decided to head into the boarding house for a quick breakfast. You enjoyed a plate of eggs and ham alone, paid, and headed back home. 

“Family left this morning I see!”  Billy’s voice called out to you as you stepped out of the boarding house. You whipped your head around to look at him and smiled. He was hauling two jugs of water over his back with the intention of hooking them up to his horse to bring back to the ranch. You walked towards him and he set the jugs down next to his horse. He grabbed a torn up towel from his hip and wiped the sweat from his brow. From this distance, you could see that he had already spent a hard morning working. His face was dirty, his handsome features almost hidden. 

“They did. Thanks for all your help again the other day.”

“Of course. Anything for you darling.” He smiled 

“You know I was thinking I really wish you had joined us the other night for dinner. They would have loved your company I’m sure.” You smiled back 

“It’s fine. Don’t want to intrude.”

“Well I want to make it up to you regardless. Are you free tonight?” You asked tentatively 

“I can be. Why?” He asks, taking curious steps toward you

“Well I was thinking maybe tonight you could stop by and actually have dinner. Now that everyone is gone. I thought it could be just us?” You suggested 

“That’s sounds lovely darling. I get done at the ranch at sundown. I’ll swing by after. How does that sound?” He asked with a light grip under your chin. He rubbed it in between his thumb and forefinger, smiling at you  lovingly. 

You nodded, but Billy held his grip on you. He spoke up again. “That ok?”

“Yes. I’ll see you after sundown.” You spoke up 

You silently begged for him to kiss you. You wanted to taste his lips, his salty sweat, and his tongue dancing with your own. You decided to be somewhat bold and also get a taste of what you wanted. You kissed his cheek, savoring his soft, slightly dusty flesh against your lips. 

“Don’t be too late now.” You whispered into his ear. You pulled back before he had a chance to take any action. As much as you wanted to kiss him, you wanted to leave him wanting more. 

You rushed home enthusiastically. You spent the rest of the day cleaning your house and making cornbread for dinner. You had some extra cuts of steak from dinner the other night and decided it would pair nicely with some potatoes, and would make a steak and potato stew, which you knew how to season just right. You were nervous, wanting everything to be perfect for him. Thankfully, you prepared for his arrival with just enough time. After putting the cornbread in the oven, and keeping the stew on a low simmer, you went to take a bath. You bathed and shaved your body. Not that you were expecting anything to happen between you and Billy tonight, but you weren’t sure what type of man he really was. How badly did Billy desire you too? You supposed you’d find out tonight. 

After your bath, you adorned the purple dress you had bought with your sister. You admired yourself in the mirror and picked out a purple silk bow to match. You tied your hair half up with it and gave yourself one last look in the mirror. You were absolutely adorable and you knew it. Finally you heard a long awaited knock on your door and scurried over to answer it. 

Billy stood in your doorway, nervously straightening up his vest and looking down at the bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. 

“Mr. Bonney. Glad you didn’t keep a lady waiting too long. Please come in” You invited him, giving him a girlish smile

“Of course not. These are for you.” He replied handing you the flowers. You gladly took them and he watched your expression as you did, noting how cute you looked as your lips curled up into a wider smile.

“Always such a gentleman. Can I get you a drink?” You asked

“A whiskey would be great.” 

You poured him a glass of the brown liquor and he took it as he sat down on your couch. 

“You seem like you had a long day.” You remarked 

“I did. But glad that you invited me over. Makes it worthwhile.” 

“Then I should invite you over more often” 

“You should.” He agreed, taking a sip of his drink. 

You poured yourself your own glass and joined Billy on the couch. You scooted close to him, your knees barely grazing. 

“So…” he started pushing your hair behind your ears. “Tell me about your day.” 

“It wasn’t anything special. Just spent the whole day getting things ready for this handsome cowboy.” You whispered knowingly 

“Oh really? Sounds like you were working hard too hmm?” He remarks 

“Not too hard. As long as he likes my cornbread then it will all be worth it.” You smirked 

“I’m sure he will.” 

You sipped on your whiskey without taking your eyes away from the piercing blue ones in front of you. You batted your eyes at him and moved closer. Just as you felt as if you’re about to lose yourself in his eyes, the smell of cornbread fills the room, indicating that it was done. You excused yourself and took them out of the oven. You also take the opportunity, while you are up, to completely turn off the oven and blew out the flame under the stew so it doesn’t boil over. You walk back to him, sitting even closer. 

“Hungry?” You ask

“I-I hate to be rude but…” Billy started leaning in closer. “I just…Can I please kiss you darling?” 

You nodded and closed your eyes in anticipation, but Billy needed verbal permission from you. To hear it, to make sure that it’s what you wanted from him. He didn’t move in, but simply danced his thumb over your lower lip, waiting for you to speak. 

“Yes Billy, please kiss me.” You gasped 

He swooped in, capturing your mouth. He held your chin delicately in his hand, tilting your face up more. He kissed you deeply, not wanting to break away. He finally had you. Finally got to feel you in some way and he wanted more. Damned be any dinner, despite his hunger he felt, he was hungry for something else. He moved his lips with your own, hoping that his movements didn’t come off as too needy. Just before he pulled back entirely, he placed a few sweet, quick pecks to your lips then, he smiled at you. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for that.” He remarked 

“As have I” you breathed 

Billy dove back in. His soft lips danced with yours again. He cupped your face fully, eliciting a moan against his mouth that made him smirk in satisfaction. His thumbs caressed your cheeks, touching you as if you were made of glass. He was in awe of the moment he found himself in. Having you all to himself like this was exhilarating. You moved to straddle him, your dress pushing up against your thighs as you did. Billy splayed his hands over your newly exposed skin, inhaling sharply as he touched you. You were soft, legs freshly shaved during your bath, which Billy noticed. He snaked his fingers through your hair and admired you on his lap like this. It made his length twitch against your core. 

“Billy, ain’t you hungry?” You asked softly 

“I’m starving sweetheart, but I’m only hungry for one thing at the moment.” 

Billy recaptured your lips, pressing his firmly against your own. He continued to cup your face, holding you like he never wanted to let you go. You sighed into him and rolled your hips against his crotch. He moaned at your actions and sprung into action. Billy moved to stand, gripping your ass, hoisting you up. You gasped as he moved, clinging to him. He loved the way you held him and loved that he was strong enough to hold you like he was. It made his chest swell with pride. 

“Where is-“ Billy started 

“To the left” you huffed 

Billy carried you to your bedroom, kicking the door behind him and tossing you onto the bed. He stood at the edge of the bed, pulling his suspenders off his shoulders, all the while never breaking eye contact with the beautiful girl in front of him. He smirked as you stared up at him, gawking in awe. You slowly sat up until you were on your knees. You placed your hands around the sides of his neck as he snaked his own behind your back. He was quick to untie the thin string that held your dress up. It fell past your shoulders and you gasped at the cool sensation of the room. He brushed the rest of your dress down, revealing your bare breasts to him. He dove in, groping them and massaging them, while he pressed deliberate kisses to your chest. The soft mounds of skin fit perfectly in his hands. Both hands giving you the amount of attention and pleasure you deserved. 

You arched your back at the sensation, shoving your chest further into his face, which Billy very much enjoyed. He continued kissing your chest fervently. Feeling bold and drowning in lust, Billy started to leave marks all over your chest. He sucked and bit down on your flesh, causing you to mewl.

“Billy” you whispered 

Billy gave your chest a few quick kisses before pushing you back onto the bed. He undid the buttons of his shirt before tossing it off. He climbed back on top of you. He stroked the side of your face gently, admiring the pretty girl below him. He glanced down to your chest, equally admiring your bruises. He slipped the rest of your dress off, stripping you of everything. Bare before him, you felt timid and vulnerable. You had been with men before. A few men in town had fancied you, but also fancied other girls at the same time. As you laid under the handsome cowboy, you were utterly breathless and anticipatory.  Billy splayed  his hands over your stomach, grabbing the fat of your hips.  

“So gorgeous like this. More beautiful than I imagined.” 

“You imagined me like this?” 

“From time to time. I just couldn’t help myself darling.” 

You gasped with a small smirk at the confession. The feeling of being wanted in that way made your core throb. Billy had imagined you like this several times in fact. He would imagine you bare for him as you are now, begging for him to touch you, taste your sweetness, and the feeling of you around his cock. Billy found himself more and more thinking about you in such an intimate way. He couldn’t help but get off to the idea of you. And now he had you all to himself, caged in under him. He palmed his now hard, aching cock through his pants. 

“What else did you imagine…with me?” you whispered 

He cocked his head, his jaw going slack as he looked at you with amusement. He leaned back down and kissed your cheek. 

“Why don’t I just show you?” 

You bit your lip in anticipation. Billy began to kiss down your body, each kiss feather light and delicate. You were sensitive to his touch, flinching slightly as each kiss landed on you. When he reached your hip bone he sucked down to leave another scandalous mark. You shuttered at his actions, and slithered your fingers through his hair.  He finally made his way down, down, down, until he reached your thighs. He spread your legs apart, roughly and greedily groping the meaty flesh. He began to suck. The idea of marking you up so much drove him crazy. He liked leaving you with the small reminders of the pleasure he gave you. 

“Billy!” You gasped “why you leaving so many marks on me?” You raked your fingers through his chocolate brown waves and gave him a curious look. 

“You wanted to know what I was thinking about when I was getting off to you right?” 

She nodded her head. 

“I thought of you branded like this. I just want you to remember every spot I touched you at. So you know this ain’t no dream.” 

Lazily, you nodded your head. His lips trailed closer and closer to your core. He glances up at you for approval and you nod. Billy moves his mouth to capture your wetness. He lapped you up, his lips practically making out with your sweetness. Your hips moved in his face slightly. You couldn’t help it, the pleasure he brought you was overwhelming. Billy didn’t seem to mind too much however and you became aware of how much he was enjoying you. 

“Christ Billy, I’ve never been with a man who loved to taste a woman this much.” 

Billy pulls away with a gasp, looking up at you with the most dazed out look in his eyes. As he smirked, you noticed how wet his mouth is covered in your juices. 

“That’s cause they ain’t real men, sugar.” He gave the inside of your thigh a few sloppy kisses, resting his head against it. He groped the soft skin greedily. He trailed his fingers over your clit, rubbing gently on the sensitive bundle of nerves. You cooed at him, squirming slightly. He grinned against you. 

“You gonna let me keep tasting you then?” 

You nodded your head and he kissed your clit. His passion overtook him as he sucked and swirled his tongue on your core. You watched him, transfixed on the way his mouth moved against you. You let out a few shaky breaths, gripping his hair harder. Your head fell against your pillow and you let your body unwind. As he ate you out, all you could do was moan and grind against his face. Billy did truly love tasing a woman like this. Especially a woman such as yourself. The sweetness, how wet they got. How their thighs would quiver around his cheeks. He loved it. Which is exactly what he loved when he was pleasing you. Especially the way in which you fell apart under his tongue. Billy was satisfied watching you like this. But he craved more. As did you. He pressed a few more fervent kisses to your slit then pulled away. He crawled up on his knees. 

Billy worked feverishly to undo his belt, his hand trembling slightly. He quickly wriggled out of his pants, taking his boxers with him. Grabbing the base of his cock, Billy lined himself up with your slit. You moaned as he coated himself in your wetness, diving into your weeping entrance. Billy pressed in slowly, then bottoming out. He took a moment to feel you around him before he began to move his hips. 

Lust over took his sensibilities and all he wanted to do was keep you here, caged under him, inside you all night. Billy quickened his pace at the thought. His actions elicited beautiful moans that rolled off your lips. Billy reveled in the fact that he could play you like a guitar as you continued to let him know how good he felt. A devilish grin curled up in the corner of his lips and he scoffed in amusement.

“Oh my god you’re so beautiful.” he whispered gently 

 He looked down at you with curiosity and amazement. He wondered just what else he could do to you. What else he could coax out of you. He trailed his hand down your stomach until his thumb was pressed firmly on your needy clit. He rubbed tight circles, enjoying you as you writhed, once again, under his touch. He did his best to keep your back on the bed, pressing a hand to your pelvis. The movement of his thumb was almost overwhelming. You were completely under his control, despite the seemingly involuntary movements of your hips bucking up against his hand. 

“S-s-so good Billy. Please just like that.” You groaned as he sat up on his knees, readjusting his angle. 

He gripped your ankles and tossed them on his shoulder. He kissed down your ankle and along your calf. You decided to take some control and moved your hips with his rhythm as he pumped into you. He ducked his head down, squeezed his eyes and let out a groan. His jaw went slack and he glared down at you. He slowed down his movement and tossed your legs back down on the bed. You gasped in confusion. Billy let a knowing grin sit on his face as he maneuvered your hips and waist, flipping you on your stomach. He kissed your shoulder and down your back, each kiss sending an electric current up your spine and shoulder blade. Then, with one hand on your upper back, he lowered you down. 

Billy adjusted you so you were on perfect display for him. He admired your perfect, round little ass perked up for him. He slipped back into you, pulling your hips toward his. He gripped onto your waist with one hand and gave your ass a firm slap with the other. You yelped and Billy gave you another one. He wasted no time moving inside you at a quick, tempered pace. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, so he simply enjoyed the view and fucked you with a satisfied grin on his face. You squirmed and whined under him. You could feel yourself becoming undone. His free hand wandered down your spine, tracing your body to memory. His touch was toxic, his fingers felt like fire. He continued to rock into you. He loved the way you bounced against him, and he filled you up so good too. 

Your collective moans filled the room, and soon enough Billy was pulling out and readjusting you one last time. He made you stand up for a moment while he crawled under you. He rested his head against the headboard and patted his thighs. You nodded your head, swinging your legs around his waist. You slowly sank onto his cock, your ass landing down with a small plop. You bit your lip and watched Billy’s face melt into pure ecstasy as you rode him. He loved having your breasts bounce in his face like this. He groped them and sucked them as you continued taking him. You tried to steady yourself on him, cupping his face as you rocked your hips. You lean in and kiss him, his lips felt hot and dangerous now. His hands travel up your back, holding you close to him. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He panted “How long I’ve wanted you.” 

All you could do is nod. He smiled, and returned your lips back to his own. He held your hips and began to move them a bit faster. He was close and so were you. Your stomach began to tighten, your legs felt weak and before you knew it you were shaking around him. Billy pulls his face away to watch you. He gawked at your fucked out form on top of him. It nearly sent him over the edge. A few more hard bounces and he was spent. Billy spilled himself inside you, panting as you tamed your breathing. 

“Fuck.” He groaned sharply. 

You both settled down from your high, breathing in sync as you rested your sweaty forehead against his. He kissed your jaw and cheek, regaining his composure. You chanted his name like a prayer, whispering it into his ear. 

“Mmm yes baby?”

“Th-that was so good. You’re so good.”

He nodded in agreement and kissed you once again before he spoke. 

“Say darling, would it be too forward of me to ask to spend the night?” He asked

“I would want nothing more than to share my bed with you Mr. Bonney” you smirked

“You sure doll? I know how townsfolk like to gossip and peg beautiful women such as yourself with such nasty names. I just want to be sure-“ he started but you cut him off with a deep, passionate kiss

“Does that answer your question?” 

He nodded lazily, a goofy, boyish smile planted on his face. With that he stayed. You crawled off his lap and the pair settled under the sheets. He held you in his arms, playing with your hair until you fell asleep. He kissed your forehead occasionally as you slept, continuing to stroke your hair, until sleep found him as well and he rested his head against yours, holding you close all night long. 

꧁🝮❤︎︎🝮꧂

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[popculturebuffet]

Prince of Wishful Thinking (Tom Retrospective): Tough Love or The True Monster

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Prince of Wishful Thinking, what is usually my look at the life and times of Tom Lucitor but since I NEED to cover the season 3 finale as vital part of Tom’s story, we’re taking one last look at the tragic tale of Meteora Butterfly before the finale sends these two stories hurtling together. You’d THINK this would be the last detour of this already sizeable arc.. and you’d be wrong as i’ll also be covering Kelly’s World, as I feel it’s vital for both “Curse of the Blood Moon” and “A Boy and his hard to remember title”, as it provides extra context for Marco’s anguish in the former.. and provides extra evidence for why a CERTAIN MOMENT in the latter pisses me off to no end.. seriously even when as universe dies and the only people left are Frankllin Richards and Galactus, there will still be a little note reading “Fuck how they treated Kelly” written in all caps so Galactus remembers to yell it. 

So sadly that DOES mean it’s been three entries in this retrospective in a row that either haven’t feature Tom at all or in the case of the last episode only had him in short cameos. I mean we did get his love affair for pie but we also got a creepy goblin man forcing his girlfriend and best friend to kiss each other, his best friend being WAY to eager to jump to that conclusion, and neither considering using Marco’s Scissors because the writers only remember he has those half the time in Season 3... and clearly I ddn’t either as I forgot to mention that plot hole, something @jess-the-vampire​ brought up to me. Sadly I DID forget to consult on this when we talked earlier this week , and she’s not online as I write this so I won’t have her insight for this one. 

But if you want some Tom content, i’m happy to share my crossover ship for the boy with you. I’ve been shipping him with Octavia from Helluva Boss lately.  Because of course it’s Helluva Boss, i’ve not been at all subtle with my obession with it and much like Letterkenny, X-Men and Dragon Ball Z Abriged it is a love I never plan to be subtle about. 

But I just think they compliment each other well: They have contrasting atittudes, and tastes in music, but seem like they’d share hobbies. Like taxidermy.. I could see Tom buying this... demonic combination of a badger, a skunk, a deer and my nightmares Octavia is preciously holding up.

Granted I also feel tom would both animate them with their dead souls.. and then use his new woodland friends of the dammned as a chorus to sing “Can You Picture That” from the Muppet Movie, because that’s what my mind does on a regular day. I think the contrasting attitude creates great chemstiry and it made me also realize I have a thing for ships with directly contrasting home lives.  Tom has two loving decent parents who deeply love one another and at worst simply didn’t reign in his worse behavior because it was standard for demon stuff. Octavia in contrast simply has two parents, one who DOES love her and tries his best, but his best includes calling his side piece “My big dicked blitzy” right in front of her and hiring said side piece to guard them, and her mother who clearly thinks so little of her daughter’s emotional well being she hired a cowboy to shoot her daddy dead in the middle of a large crowd. The point is I think they’d be adorable and they both badly need to be happy after being emotionally fucked over by people they care about. 

But  alas my new ship will have to wait as we marginally important things to get down too.. things that will impact both this season and the next’s endgame and utterly destroy Eclipsa and Moon’s relationship for good. Sound fun? Well if so join me under the cut won’t you?

We open in the Pidgeon Kingdom.. and things aren’t exactly great.. and by that I mean Meteora stomped a hole through it and ravaged the place and Rich demands blood.. and vengance.. and possibly blood vengance. But not Tekken Blood Vengance.. he already has like 5 copies of that on dvd. Still needs it on Blu Ray though, hook him up if you got it. 

So Moon and Eclipsa are trying to smooth this over/find out which way did she go George which way did she go, and are angrily dismissed after they try Rich’s patience, not helped by Eclipsa not being familiar with the Pidgeon Kingdom because they hadn’t slaughtered everyone who used to live there yet. Look that’s what happened, Star outright mentions in the Big Book of Spells that htey suddenly sprung up where another kingdom was and no one knows what happens. There was some bird murders up in that place.. or birdur if you will. Some birds drank some human blood. This is what Alfred Hitchock tried to warn us about with his film built on horrifying actress abuse. 

The point is with some more pidgeon-led murder stabbings on the cards our heroines are trying to find her since their attempts to convince Rich not to go on an Archer Style Rampage fell on deaf ears. 

But it’s clear from the second the two are alone both have diffrent priorties: Eclipsa desperatley wants to find the daughter she lost and talk her down from what sh’es become, help her become better and hopefuly heal from the pain she’s been in. She’s lost her husband, her kingdom and centuries. She can’t loose her baby girl too.

Moon on the other hand... clearly has no intrest in helping Meteora or stopping this peacefully. Her first thought is stopping Meteora. Her living through it is not necessary. It’s also clear her racisim isn’t REMOTELY gone depsite Buff Frog and Star’s best attempts and despite learning just how deeply and horribly Mewni’s engrained racism has hurt eclipsa and destoryed Moon’s own family history. To Moon this is just a big monster to fight.. i’ll dive into this more in a bit.

For now our heroines encounter an angry mob. This time their not here for Homer Simpson, but for Meteora as her rampages have destroyd their towns, livelehoods and given some weird guy a hat. It’s the best bit of the episode and i’m embarassed I forgot it happened. 

So with them being no help our queens back out but end up finding some actual help: Eddie! You know the guy from the episode I skipped over... River’s cousin or something like that. He dosen’t have a wiki entry, I do not know why. He’s voiced by Rhys Dharby of Flight of the Conchords Fame whose since made quite the career as a voice actor. No major roles yet that i’m aware of, but a lot of delightful minor ones like this. It’s good to see him he was one of the highlights of that show and not just because he sang this..

Eddie showed up in the Bog Beast of Boggabah and I honestly forgot he was in this episode.. but again, it’s Rhys Dharby. It’s not like suddenly finding out “Aw god dammit Pauly Shore is in this”. So Eddie agrees to help as he’s been tracknig Meteora.. and we find out something troubling: Meteora is getting BIGGER. Gradually, to the point the bog from said episode Is skipped over is drained because she DRANK IT. We also get a great exchange “I’d hate to see the size of her mother” “Actually her father more than helped with that”

Awwwww.... seriously Esme Blanco is a national treasure and has some great deliveries in this one.. and some heartbreaking ones. But before we can get to that it turns out Meteora sucked the powers out of Eddies family.. who he misses..e xcept one guy> That guy can fuck right off. Seriously Eddie is also a national treasure and I wish he’d shown up in season 4. I mean he couldn’t of HURT it. For one it’s Rhys Dharby and for another that season shot itself in the face, both feet, the groin and then the face again enough that I don’t think anything could hurt it as bad as the writers already did. 

But sadly we say farwell to Eddie as he goes out how men have since the begining of time.. deciding to poke a strange creature till it murdered him. Or took his soul out in this case, speaking of which...

Yeah while I couldn’t get Jess in time for this review, she did bring this up in the past: Meteora’s ablility to pull a 

Comes right the fuck out of nowhere with no build up and no explination for it. She DID drain personalites and according to this episode youth.. but that was with a big ole machine. It MIGHT have been intended to be one of Globgor’s powers.. but that makes zero sense, as if he COULD do that, as we saw with Toffee last season when he had that power, also out of nowhere but at least it made a touch more sense given his power was draining magical energy anyway at the time, so adding souls to that isn’t a huge stretch, but as we saw that would’ve been game over for the comission, especially since we DO see him fighting them one on three next season. If he had this power, he wouldn’t be in crystal and I think they realized that, but just tried to act as if his daugther COULDN’T do that and assumed everyone would casually forget. And I get not accounting for me writing about this years later, even I wouldn’t of thought that, but not counting on fans both young and old to latch onto a continuity error? Have you met fandoms Disney, have you? It dosen’t bring the story down entirely and I get WHY ti’s there, so she can nonlethally kill people so we’re not down most of the cast for Season 4, but it feels like an easy win button and one she barely uses despite it being eye beam activated. It should be easy enough to pull, boom, soul suck, win, rinse and repeat. It’s okay to have uber powerful tequniques but they have to have a drawback. For instance the Kaioken from DBZ. It’s a really damn cool technique that gives the user a neat red aura and amplifies poewr.. but the more you amplify the more strain it puts on your body and the more likely you’ll die, and Super later creatively explained why it hadn’t been used since Super Sayian was introduced because said form would’ve sped it up so much it’d be too much for a body to take. Here whie Meteora dosen’t use it in EVERY fight, she uses it enough that it makes no sense this isn’t just her first move for every fight she gets into, mental breakdown or not. 

That being said Meteora’s current mental state as she talks to her mother, having regressed to talking in only a few words and acting like a child, makes perfect sense. Henious already wasn’t in great mental shape to begin with, having a slow sustained breakdown since Marco overthrew her. and now on top of this she remembers her whole life has been a lie, starts to mutate into her natural state at a rapid and likely unehalthy pace, and then finds out on top of all of this Mewni is rightfully owed to her. Given she ended last episode blowing a guy up for rejecting her, it’s not a stretch that given even more power and no time to process anything, Metora would deteroate further. 

Esme and Jessica really knock this scene out of the park as Eclipsa presents Metora with her old doll Bobo and gently trying ot talk to her.. but you also get the fear Eclipsa feels as she tries to awkardly manuver around the fact her daughter is far more unhinged than she was prepared for, even threanting Eclipsa simply because Eclipsa wanted to be called mother instead of mommy. But despite this fear.. Eclipsa wants to help and Walter beautifuly captured metoera as a hulk like tragic figure:a being with low sanity and too much power desperate to be loved by the one person it cares about. And it makes it even more heartbreaking as Eclipsa explains what happened: bad people trapped her , a disfunctoinal society with a racist queen and even more racist subjects has taken hold in her absence... and it’s clear both want opposite things: Meteora wants what sh’es owed, her family back on the throne and Mewni back in her graps, but has lost herself so much to rage, anger and insanity she can’t see it’s not hers to take, while Eclipsa.. just wants her daughter back. She’d be happy just settling down with her and having a LIFE after hers was taken away. Eclipsa just wants a chance to be with what family she has left. It just HURTS to know that despite RIGHTFULLY hating the comission, despite having eveyr reason to take the crown from Moon by force and make the world better by force.. she dosen’t want that. She just wants some peace. It’s selfish... but it’s hard not to be when you havealmost nothing to hold onto. Eclipsa has lost her legacy, her husband and her crown... Meteora is all she has and all she wants and sh’ed of been happy if she just accepted that. If that was enough. 

But the real telling part, and the thing that ultimately makes this go as bad as it does.. is Moon’s reactions to all of this. Sh’es CONFUSED by Meteora having a toy as if that’s foreign to her a monster would, and she’s cleaerly livid , if restrianing it, at both Meteora’s deire for the crown and Eclipsa RIGHTFULLY calling out the state of how things are, and mildly at that. Despite seeing how much damage Mewni’s inherent racisim has done, how it lead to her living a lie, ruined Eclipss, Globgore and Metora’s lives, despite how DESPERTLY her daughter struggles to fight against it, despite seeing firsthand that Monsters can have famiies and lives... she can’t let it go. She can’t see monsters as people. SHe dosen’t see a flawed person who was turned into a metpohrical monster by years of brainwashing and abuse and is slowly unravling under the weight of her true self.. she just sees a threat to her kingdom. She dosen’t see her kingdom as racist, just as it should be. And she dosen’t see herself as stepping down like hse damn well should’ve the MOMENT she found out everything. Because at her heart Moon can’t accept the truth and clings to her racisim. 

And that my friends.. is what ultimately leads to Tragedy. Not Meteora’s unraveling mental state, not Eclipsa’s naitvite. What happens next is ENITRELY Moon’s fault. Whle Eclipsa was failing to get through to Metora, she was trying her best and might of gotten somewhere.. but Moon was already settling to attack.. and does so, making it look like Eclipsa set her own child up. 

A fight ensues, a suprisingly even one... but Eclipsa breaks it up and PROVES her way could’ve worked. In one of Esme’s best performances sshe tearfully tells her daughter she loves her.. that ALL she wants is time with her to make up for what she’s lost.. she dosen’t need a kingdom or her crown or her wand, all things she DESERVES... she just wants her daughter. She just wants to help her baby girl before she goes so far down this path of hatred and vengance she’s alreayd well trod upon there is no point to return to. 

It gets through to Meteora, makes her stop... and Moon TAKES ADANTAGE OF THAT. She then restrains metoera with a magical rock barrier and starts palpatineing her to death. It’s a horrifying moment that ultimately shows who Moon really is.. that when given the chance to let Meteora go, let her CHANGE and grow as a person and help the kingdom.. she instead tries to kill her. When she’s no longer a threat,  hasn’t seriously hurt her in their fight, and could use her power to RESTORE the damage she’s done, fix what she’s broken and help the kingdom grow and mend the bridges racisim has torn down. But all she can see is a monster, and something to destroy.. not someONE to save. 

So Eclipsa does what Moon would do if it were star about to die and saves her daughter, desperatly trying to stop mooon.. and allowing Meteora to get a clear shot and take half of moon’s soul. While Eclipsa is able to stop her from taking the full thing, Moon is left disoreinted and half alive and leaves on insticnt to parts unknown while Meteora escapes. Eclipsa is left alone, devistated and with her daughter truly lost. And the worst is truly yet to come. 

Before we get into final thoughts i’d like to talk about how this scene impacts Moon’s betryal later. To me having rewatched this scene.. it only makes it work MORE making it clear Moon simply can’t fahtom racial equality and that she can’t fahtom that eclipsa had very good reason for doing what she did ... to me it comes off as her using Eclipsa betryaing her as a very flimsy justifcation to not validate her rule and to first retire and then try a coup. That “Well she “BETRAYED” me so i’m fine. “ But in truth... she betrayed Eclipsa first. She attacked her daughter TWICE when Eclipsa was close to getting through to her Her reasons are flimsy.. because i’ts not ABOUT eclipsa, but what eclipsa represents: equality with a race Moon dosen’t see as people. It’s about Moon’s racisim coloring everything tills h’es truly blinded and should have lost everything She didn’t because the ending is a fucking disgrace, but we might get to that at some point, the point here is for all that disgrace’s faults... it did get it right here, and Moon was always portrayed as being unable to let go of her racisim no matter what it cost her or how much her daughter despteratly tried to change her. Trust me as someone whose Dad used to argue that gay marriage meant he should be able to marry his cat, and who still argues against trans people using the bathroom of their choice, I get trying desperatley to change someone who don’t wanna. “Sigh”. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is truly excellent. The writing is top notch as is the voice acting for all involved and the climax isa true, well led up to tragedy. The animation is also on point, with the characters emotions on perfect display. This is an episode I now realize is one of the series best and worth ar ewatch if you haven’ts een it. Truly amazing stuff that gets me pumped for the finale.. and disapoints me in how the series could reach these highs for one finale.. but would sink to it’s lowest point for next seasons.  Next Time on Prince of Wishful Thinking: Star tries depseratly to find her mom, while Marco, Tom and a motely crew of misfits try to take down Meteora and Tom learns the awful truth from the photo booth and wears a zuko ponytail which weirdly looks good on him. That boy can rock anything let me tell you. 

If you enjoyed this reviews, please consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As mentioned my 30 dollar stretch goal includes a review of the cluster fuck that is the series final arc, and the goals up to that , me making 20 and 25 dollars a month repectively, have their own nifty rewards: At 20 i’ll review Darkwing Duck once a month, the two remaning Ducktales 87 mini series I have not covered and the Danny Phantom film The Ultimate Enemy. 25 meanwhile gets you reviews of the Proud Family Movie, the theatrical recess movie and the Kim Possible almost finale movie so the drama. And 30 also gets you reviews of every episode of gravity falls season 1 at least one a month till I finish it at some point, so as you can see you get a lot of bang for your buck and these reviews will be public for everybody. Not only that but joining my patreon gets you a review a month if you pitch in 5 dollars and evne if you can’t swing THAT much just 2 bucks gets you access to my discord, a guarnateed pick in my shorts, votes for patreon exclusive reviews, and SAID patreon exclusive reviews. It’s a lot of bang for your buck is what i’m saying so please help me out so I can make a living off this and sign up today. I even JUST ADDED an exclusive and utterly insane scrooge mcduck review, The Great Wig Mystery. So throw in a buck to check that out. 

And if your intrested in Tomtavia... please hit me up. I’m really proud of it and until then... i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[fumusdamnatorum]

Inspiration for Silas’s redesign, a TEDxTalk

((Because I’m in a mood to dodge all of my life responsibilities, I’d figure I detail pretty much the design process of Silas’s redesign up until now. 

The beginning:

About 3 beers in on a Friday night, after watching the vol 7 trailer (which got a meh overall) I decided that “Hey, with vol 7 coming up I’m gonna redo a complete revamp of Silas’s character.” Well, it was a bright fucking idea considering it was still when midterms were going on, but hey that didn’t stop me. I had enough notes to go on when I picked up the project again when things died down.

Visuals: 

The anchor of Silas’s visual is, you guessed it, his hat. I absolutely didn’t want to give him a hood again cause I don’t want him to be another generic self-insert OC the RP community may have seen one too many of. The helmet, while fully practical, doesn’t suit his character well in my opinion. He’s a ranged fighter and only deals with close fights if necessary. So, how did I reach the hat idea? The idea came from this comic by Centurii-Chan of Facebook fame (seriously check them out, their art is top tier): 

However, it wouldn’t be practical (or safe for work) to slap a tricorn on him and have him go on his merry way. For clothes, I was stuck for a long, long while. But I remembered an old adage where your gear should compliment your weapons. Thus I looked at the weapons Silas utilized waaaaay back in his earliest form: a lever action rifle and two single action revolvers (inspiration for weapons will be a separate post). After consuming spaghetti westerns, modern westerns (like Django Unchained and The Magnificent Seven remake), and videos of cowboy action shooters, I decided the best fit came in the form of a collared shirt, waistcoat, some pants, and a covert coat. The outer garment had to be long enough to cover his weapons, but not hinder his movement (ala No Capes). Thanks to Duke (the mun of @genocidin��� and numerous other blogs), I settled on having the good hunter from Bloodborne be a faceclaim (and got free icons out of it. Thanks homie OTL).

Personality and Portrayal:

Holy cannoli Batman was Silas’s personality all sorts of cringe in retrospect. Part of me is lowkey glad I pulled the trigger and deleted the old blog to make this one. Granted, lessons had to be learned that hard way, and boy did I learn. When I sat and tried to look for any source in how to portray Silas, it was difficult. I don’t think I fully nailed his character until recently actually….after I bit the bullet for a Disney+ account to watch The Mandalorian. Jon Faverau and his crew more or less put me on the set direction and kicked my ass to fly there in finding how to write Silas.  In The Mandalorian, the main character is very, very good at his job. However, there are numerous instances where he is hurt, where he falls down but still gets back up. That portrayal gives a humanizing side, at least to me. He is capable but also flawed trying to do right by him. 

The biggest takeaway and change is that I wanted that early Clint Eastwood-esque type of gunslinger you see in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly and incorporate what I learned from The Mandalorian. Silas isn’t a showman. He’s a bounty hunter. Fighting, hunting, and killing isn’t a spectacle or a show, but it’s a way of life. However, just because he’s experienced doesn’t mean he should be near invincible, and that was something I wanted to change as I feared that while writing my own OC, I forget that he is also a regular human being. Huntsmen and huntress in RWBY can die. They’re not omnipotent beings. They’re skilled fighters, but they’re also mortal. They have strengths and weaknesses, faults and flaws. They can have moments of happiness, sadness, inspiration and depression all the same.  And I think that’s something I forget to integrate into writing despite having them listed on his profile because I need a muse to tell a story; in turn, as a writer, I would pen it so that the odds would be ever so slightly in his favor. The impact of seeing him succeed beyond struggles is dampened significantly if he is able to waltz through hordes of Grimm, win fights, and get the girl (or girls since this is a multi-ship blog). There’s no character there, but just cookie cutters.

So yeah, thanks for coming to my TEDxTalk.))

[no-zaku-boy]

IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN

1:What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? Visited Austria and went to a concert in another country, climbed a (small) mountain, did disaster relief volunteering, played on average more than one video game a month, ate natto (I guess I'm nasty because it wasn't that bad), annnnd was in a BABY/AatP con fashion show.

2:Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I think I did pretty well. I made mostly "keep working on it" type resolutions, and I kept up with most of them. I'll continue this trend for 2018 because it seems to be working well.

3:Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope.

4:Did anyone close to you die? Squeeze. I’m so, so sorry. I wish I’d done better by her, and I wish her last few days had maybe been easier (through the fault only of the vet), but I know she spent most of her years well-loved in a happy home and that she lived a long and good life full of lap pets from an amazing hoomin whom she adored. I may not really believe in a people afterlife, but I sure like to think she’s out there flashing her high beams on the twilight seas of wherever is next for kitties.

5:What countries did you visit? Austria and the Czech Republic.

6:What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? Discipline is always a good answer, and more confidence.

7:What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? It's always moments rather than specific dates. Wasteland Weekend, yet again (probably forever). Despite the fact that I was terribly sick, being in Spokane with my best dudes is easily a major highlight of the year. Seeing Miyavi live and the moment he first started going wild on that guitar.

8:What was your biggest achievement of the year? Gaining more stability. Getting a steady job, engaging even more with things I have always loved like reading and video games and cosplay, and coming to terms with the fact that I shouldn't be trying to play catch up for the time I've lost in order to be impressive to other people and should instead focus on genuinely doing what makes me happy. Yeah.

9:What was your biggest failure? Not pushing myself harder.

10:Did you suffer illness or injury? I was sick as fuck this year, son. It seemed like I was constantly coughing or running a fever or SOMETHING. I'd better not be sick at all in 2018, is2g. I also had that random back injury that really messed with me for almost two weeks. Ugh.

11:What was the best thing you bought? Travel and event expenses, like the last couple years. I'm content with this trend.

12:Whose behaviour merited celebration? A lot of my friends for being kind, generous people who try to make the world better for the people around them and more.

13:Whose behaviour made you appalled? A relatively small number of atrocious customers and everyone involved in/who voted for the people at the center of the circus that is US politics.

14:Where did most of your money go? Travel and living expenses.

15:What did you get really, really, really excited about? Video games and a few potential projects I've been kicking around, travelling both abroad and domestically, Wasteland this year and MAX HYPE for next year, the three or four cosplay groups I got to be part of, and picking up Japanese again more seriously than I've done in years.

16:What song will always remind you of 2017? Ngl, Richard Spencer getting sucker punched to Born in the USA has been running through my head pretty much constantly since January. I also feel like ABBA and Neil Cici have really dominated this year for me.

17:Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, maybe slightly thinner, poorer.

18:What do you wish you’d done more of? Studying and putting myself out there. I also wish I'd spent more time acting with authenticity rather than being concerned with external pressures (for instance, wanting recognition and, as a result, wondering if my actions are merely performative even if they do have some practical effect, or at times choosing comfort over conviction). I know I'm being hard on myself here, but in 2018 I'd like to Do More and Do Better. (And yeah, I'd like to have it be noticed, I'm only human, but I'd also like to work on caring less about that, too.)

19:What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying and wasting time.

20:How did you spend Christmas? With family and friends, playing games, getting weird (still not sure where some of these bruises came from), and having good food, good conversation, and a good drive. <3

21:Did you fall in love in 2017? Here and there~

22:What was your favourite TV program? Of the new-to-me things I picked up, Brooklyn 99 and Boku no Hero Academia were top of the pops.

23:Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Who has that kind of time?

24:What was the best book you read? Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett was probably my fave of the year. I wish I had finished Atlas Shrugged; as much as I disagree with a lot of Ayn Rand's philosophy and the presentation thereof, she's a damn good author. Gonna finish in 2018.

25:What was your greatest musical discovery? Screaming sky cowboy. Also, I'm grateful that someone clued me into Wednesday Campanella.

26:What did you want and get? A bit of direction and focus, and the motivation to resume studying a language in the first time in a long time.

27:What did you want and not get? I'd wanted estate stuff to be over and done with completely this year, but alas.

28:What was your favourite film of this year? Get Out was so, SO good, and Thor: Ragnarok really surprised me, so probably one of those two. Special mention to Blade Runner 2049 (I still have some genre-typical beef, but I find more things I liked about the film every time I reflect on it).

29:What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Time with loved ones for sure, and gaining more confidence in my abilities and my future re: jobs. And being more "selfish" with my time and energy, to be honest. I feel guilty that I'm not there for everything or everyone like I usually pressure myself to be, but prioritizing myself more often rather than routinely making my desires secondary to pleasing others has made me a much happier person over all.

30:How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? I had to wear business casual most of the time (I did manage to put together some semi-stylish work outfits, though, and got a lot of compliments on the work wardrobe I built up over the year) and spent most of my free time in pajamas. I had a pretty cute but relatively basic office look going most of the time and would like to play with it a lot more in 2018, and I'd like to be less lazy fashion-wise during my days off. I'm thinking about returning to the side shave hair cut to inspire some bolder choices, but we'll see.

31:What kept you sane? Boything was patient through a lot of weird highs and lows (mostly highs) this year, which I really appreciate, and having a solid routine helped balance me and keep me on task once I adjusted to it. Frequent skype nights with my best dudes and finally building at least one more solid friendship here in Austin also helped quite a bit.

32:Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I guess those good, good McElboys took up a disproportionate amount of my attention span. Also, Chris Fleming, if only because I've hated my hair most of this year and every time I've looked in a mirror, I've started internally singing, "Just because I have bad hair doesn't mean that I'm polyamorous."

33:What political issue stirred you the most? I'll admit it, I got burnt out very quickly this year and only did my part in little spurts. I'd like to be more active next year. But I guess just the general trend of politics in America has had me somewhat riled, and I was probably the most outspoken about condemning white nationalism and white passivity in the face thereof.

34:Who did you miss? Everyone who was too far. ]:

35:Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. Having a regular sleep schedule is invaluable. Getting up fifteen minutes earlier to enjoy a cup of coffee and do some reading is always worth it. It's okay to choose yourself. More personally, I'm starting to accept the idea that people value my company and my input, and that I shouldn't shy away from sharing so often because I do have insightful/interesting things to contribute, or at the very least, I can usually get a laugh.

36:Quote a song lyric that sums up your year THE BEST (THE BEST THE BEST) PART OF WAKING UP IS FOLGERS IN YOUR CUP

[elizehurley-blog]

Why men return after parting: the opinion of a psychologist

New Post has been published on https://www.withallwomen.com/why-men-return-after-parting-the-opinion-of-a-psychologist/

Why men return after parting: the opinion of a psychologist

Why men return after parting: the opinion of a psychologist

Why do men return to their ex? No, rather: why are they returning at that moment when we have already lost our temper, resigned to the collapse of old love and parting, have come to life, have perked up and finally found the strength to move on after the experience? And it is necessary for this to happen, so that it is now on the threshold, as if a devil from a snuffbox, which seemed to have long ago been boarded up and covered with dust, the former lover appeared. What controls them? What is the psychology of the returnee?

  ⇔    Why they return after parting: male psychology in 8 types

No institution has yet bothered to give us official statistics with accurate data on how many men return to their wives and girls after a break in their relationship and how it all ends. Popular wisdom is broadcasting a broken cup that you can’t stick together anymore. Family psychologists mumble something vaguely about 30% – agree, the figure is not so small! And your heart is anxiously frozen at a crossroads and can’t decide whether to slam the door in front of the Exe or to open it wide and test the strength of the glued dishes together with personal experience.

Lonely cowboy

Once he left you with his head held high, confident that he would easily find a new partner. However, as time went on, our free hunter never got a regular girlfriend, the occasional passions were weary, and the dusty bachelor lair, cold bed and dumplings with fried eggs stood across the throat. “Ex” poraznul brains, went to the leaves of the notebook and remembered you.

However, no one argues that in this situation, in any case, you will play the role of an alternate aerodrome. The human psyche is tripled so that over time, bad things – clashes, quarrels, disagreements – are erased from memory, but the good moments come out brighter. It starts to seem like your couple is really made for each other, because once you were so good together! Perhaps, having pushed around for some time alone, the man sincerely began to yearn for you and finally rang the bell at your door.

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Owner

It is extremely difficult for a certain category of men to realize the fact that a woman, which they had previously considered their own, is once again free and free to start a relationship with anyone. While the social circle of the former “half” is limited exclusively to friends and relatives, the owner does not even think about it. But as soon as a fan with serious intentions appears, the “ex” gets up in a fighting stance and starts besieging the former lady of the heart with romantic signs of attention, declarations of love and pleading for a second chance. Alas, if you go with the “hero-lover” on the occasion, after a while the conquered woman will again become uninteresting to him: for this type, the main thing is to restore the right of ownership.

  Why men return after parting

Connoisseur of beauty

Once you have completely devoted yourself to your beloved. With the same care, they ceased to look after themselves, to communicate, to develop as a person, plunging into the world of home comfort, rich borscht and – if by that time your couple managed to get children – diapers. The spouse did not appreciate the victim and quickly found himself the one whose waist was already, and the outlook was wider. You did not become discouraged, how should you have taken up yourself and again turned into a charming young woman, able to shine a chiseled figure on the beach and wit in small talk. No wonder that the unfaithful lover again cuts circles around you!

Elusive avenger

Do you think men who are able to spend a lot of time and effort to punish the girlfriend who left them, exist only in the movies? Nothing like this! There is nothing worse for such a subject than to see your happy face, while, in his opinion, you should be in deep mourning for your separation. And there is no revenge sweeter than, returning everything to full circle, to throw you. It is desirable more painful.

Great experimenter

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Unlike the type from the previous example, this man is absolutely sincere in his desire to start all over again. In search of new adventures, his calling is not the cooled passion and not conflicts in the family, but the eternal thirst for new sensations. And how, I wonder, will work with that woman? And with this? Better or worse than with you? He may well “go” to live with his mistress, and then come home with a chic bouquet in his hands and penitential prayers in the language. Do not flatter yourself: as soon as a new attractive object for research flashes on the horizon, your scholar-practitioner will go off into the sunset. One of the most common varieties of “experimenters” is not at all windy boyfriends, but husbands with solid experience of family life. At home they have all the size, boring, predictable. And the soul, slain by a sudden mid-life crisis, requires change and new accomplishments. However, having gone to his mistress with a scandal, a man suddenly begins to understand: novelty is boring, enchanting sex cannot compensate for the absence of some established habits, and the need to re-rub one’s character with a young wife is very tiring. And he begins to remember more often about his abandoned wife, if not so young and cheerful, but dear, beloved and understanding him from half a word. If the ex-wife decides to accept the traitor back, the couple has every chance to reunite.

Good father

Children – a good reason for the restoration of the family. A man who sincerely loves his child, often makes a choice in his favor, so as not to leave the kid in the “half” family or in the care of his stepfather. Adequate spouses who know how to resolve their differences without mutual insults and hysterics can build a fairly successful alliance on such a basis, even if without ardent love. But if the father and the mother are not able to say five words to each other so as not to start a quarrel, there is not the slightest sense in the return: it will be only to their detriment to the child.

Responsible

There is a separate category of men who faithfully believe that the former girlfriend will disappear without them. In order not to let the poor girl disappear into the wilds of everyday problems, go downhill or lay hands on themselves, they return and, having clasped their teeth, live together with the unloved, consoling themselves with the thought of their own nobility.

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Together closely, apart boring

ABOUT! This is a very special category of families, the heat of passion in which Shakespeare would envy! Dishes in such houses are piled up, objects are whistled in the air like shells, and pets have their own corner where you can safely wait out another storm that broke out between the hosts. The reason for the scandal and parting can serve any trifle from the stranger’s accidentally caught glance on the street to the kefir that was not bought on time. However, after living some time apart, they both begin to realize that they are missing each other, and converge again. For the sake of justice, I must say that even the most temperamental man is not capable of doing this alone: ​​both of them are initiators of endless partings and reconciliations, until one of the couple is bored with life in the eternal battle zone.

  ⇔Superglue for a broken cup: whether to take a repentant guy or husband

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Not so important is the reason why the former was suddenly kindled by the desire to reconnect with you, like the question of what to do with it. First of all, do not break the wood. Nostalgia is a strong thing, but in this case it will be actively supported by natural female pride (it is always pleasant to realize that you could not be forgotten) and no less natural female pity – poor thing, he is so bad without me, he realized everything! Do not give in.

Even if you are free and not averse to trying to restore old relationships, take a pause for yourself to think. Remember, because of what quarrels between you had erupted before. What partner habits caused irritation in you? What claims did he make to you? Are you sure that now you can cope with all this better than before?

Find yourself an adviser from among those whom you trust completely; often from the outside the situation seems clearer. But it must be a really close, time-tested person! Do not dedicate all your friends and acquaintances to your spiritual throwings – they will only add fuel to the fire with diverse advice and will completely confuse you

Discuss your views on life together with your former partner and listen to his opinion on this matter. Just do not thaw at the sound of the magic phrase “everything will be as you want, dear.” Now it is important for a man to be forgiven and allowed back, and he hopes that after this, everything will somehow settle down by itself. Of course, the “ex” will take into account the basic mistakes in their behavior. But it will come to you all with the same baggage of habits, beliefs and character traits, which was originally with him – remember this. After all, change your personality is incredibly difficult in principle.And only after having thought over everything, having analyzed the previous mistakes and having discussed the prospects of living together, make a decision. If during the time spent apart, you both matured, smoothed the rough edges of temper and learned how to find a compromise, everything is possible. But if people initially have different interests, needs and temperament, they are doomed again and again to attack the same rake.

Be careful in choosing triple if during this time you managed to meet another man and still he was completely satisfied with you. Collision with old love, which, as we know, does not rust, often turns the head and pushes us to mistakes. It seems that fate itself gives a second chance to those in love! But try to honestly answer yourself: would you regret if you rush headlong into the maelstrom of passion? Is it worth your windy crane, promising the seventh sky and the golden mountains, a gap with a modest and reliable tit in your hands, which you have never betrayed? Maybe it makes sense to try a little more to appreciate what you already have?

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[carterthornton]

The Third Wave | Chapter Twenty One: Tuesday Night at The Loft

        Bhang puffed out one final cloud of smoke as he grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth, tossing the bud into a nearby garbage can. He marched across along the crosswalk, stopping for a moment to check his phone's built-in map of  Victoria. An informant tipped him off about Azaire, instructing him about the Cajun man's common hang-outs. One of them so happened to be a jazz nightclub called 'The Loft', a club Bhang frequented on Saturday nights. Out of all the places Azaire could be on a Tuesday night, this nightclub seemed the most logical choice; based on his flamboyant attire, Azaire seemed to be the kind of guy who enjoyed the night-life. Bhang walked along the sidewalk, minding the occasional passerby as he made his way towards the entrance. There was a lineup, of course, and Bhang wasn't the patient type when it came to his work. He cut his way to the front, flashing his IMOP badge to those who objected as he barged through the line. Eventually, he found himself face-to-face with a bouncer in a fashionable two-piece suit, and he placed the badge back in his pocket.

       "Johnny?" The burly bouncer squinted as he scratched his head; it wasn't common for Bhang to show up on a Tuesday. "What are you doin' here?"

       "I'm here on business, Mikey," Bhang explained, "I'm Detective Bhang tonight."

       "Alright then..." Mikey nodded as he stepped aside, opening the door for Bhang. "Don't go looking for trouble, okay?"

       "Ah, you know me, Mikey..." Bhang chuckled as he made his way inside, his ears tingling at the sound of a jazz flute. "Trouble usually just finds me instead."

       Bhang couldn't help but snap his finger as he heard the flute lay down a fiery motif of lightning-fast rhythm. And as the trumpets joined the party up on stage, his mind almost lost track of time. But eventually, Bhang got back on track, the music accompanying his movements as he wormed his way through the tables and chairs. He let out an exasperated sigh as he finally made it to the bar table, removing his bowler hat as he sat down on one of the stools.

       "Johnny, you're early," The barkeep spoke up as she wiped the table down, simultaneously concocting Bhang's drink. "What gives?"

       "I'm workin' the grind, Rebecca. I've got business here tonight," Bhang answered her, taking a sip of his usual drink— a Gin Ricky —and munching on some pretzels Rebecca laid out for him.

       Rebecca had jet black hair that was cut short and done up in a bun, and she wore a red dress shirt with a black vest over top. Rebecca was the owner and the barkeep, and she and Bhang had been friends since they were kids; they often shared many stories with one another of fights and flings. She was half-Chinese like Bhang, and they'd even exchange tales of their upbringing in opposite regions of Chinatown during The First Wave. It was an odd time in those days, and Bhang found comfort in their talks— reassurance that he wasn't the only one who thought about the past.

       "Business? What kind of business?" Rebecca asked as she placed her elbows on the table, snatching a pretzel from Bhang's bowl. "Hopefully not the kind of business you tell me about."

       "Nah, nah... nothin' like that, I can assure you. I'm looking for a guy; he's got short purple hair, a fur-lined leather jacket, cowboy boots, seen em'?" Bhang quizzed her, hoping to jog her memory a little with his descriptions.

       "Yeah, actually, he's in a booth upstairs all by himself," Rebecca gestured to the second floor which overlooked the stage. "He's an odd one— speaks some southern language I've never heard before. You know him?"

       "You could say that, yeah," Bhang nodded as he leaned back, trying to catch a glimpse of his target. Alas, Azaire's booth wasn't anywhere near the railing, and so Bhang quickly downed his cocktail, passing the empty glass to Rebecca. "Thanks, Becca, I gotta jet."

       "Are you going up there?" Rebecca asked; there were faint tinges of worry in her voice.

       "Don't worry, I just wanna talk with the guy," Bhang insisted, grabbing his hat and a pretzel as he made his way up to the second level. "Alright, pal... where are-?" Bhang jumped a little as he spotted Azaire just a few tables to his right, to which he began casually making his way over to him, trying to act as natural as possible. "Excuse me, but are you Azaire?"

       "I am..." Azaire replied in a low and slow tone of voice as he slid his glasses down the bridge of his nose, inspecting the man with a bowler hat. "Who's askin'?"

       "Detective Johnny Lin Bhang," He brought out his badge once more, flashing it at Azaire. "I need to ask you some questions. May I sit?"

       "By all means..." Azaire purred, a drunken smirk on his face. "To what to do I owe da pleasure of dis visit, Detective?"

       "I've been informed of your recent activities in Victoria: assault, unlawful use of Mark abilities, and conspiracy with known criminals. As much as I'd like to take you in, I need information to take down a much larger threat plaguing Victoria, so I'll spare you just for tonight. I need you to tell me everything you know about The Kin and The Paladins," Bhang cut right to the chase, wasting no time with the suave Cajun.

       "I know..." Azaire let out a light laugh as he took a sip of his martini. "I heard yall talkin' to dat dame down at da bar."

       "This guy's undoubtedly a Cellularum Mark-user. There's no way a regular human could hear my conversation with Rebecca from that distance and with all this background noise," Bhang right away began to assess Azaire's abilities, trying to confirm his status as a man with two Marks. "You've got a keen ear."

       "Thank ya kindly..." Azaire snickered, delicately resting a leg over his knee. "Now, why don't ya shoot me some questions, Dick?"

       "What do you know about The Kin?" Bhang asked.

       "Nottin' at all— just dat dey have valuable information regardin' da whereabouts of a butt load a Mark-usas," Azaire replied, taking another sip from his drink as he adjusted his glasses. "I only needed dem so dey could point me in da right direction."

       "And why would you need that? You seem like a cunning guy," Bhang remarked in a passive-aggressive manner, but Azaire didn't seem to mind his attitude.

       "You flatta me, Dick, but I ain't da best wit directions!" Azaire admitted, chuckling to himself. "I just needed to reunite wit some ol' friends is all, and Da Kin knew where dey were at."

       "And who might these old friends be?" Bhang continued with his inquiries, not letting Azaire's charisma set him off-course. "Another dual Mark-user?"

       "Hmm... you've got a nose on ya, Dick, dat's for sure," Azaire sighed, downing the rest of his martini. "So who told youz about me-?"

       "You're not allowed to ask questions here, pal," Bhang stopped him before he could finish his sentence, once again rerouting the conversation. "What do you know about The Paladins?"

       "Just dare story. Dey were an underground religious group originatin' from France back in the day— an offshoot a dem Knights Templar's dat believed Mark-users were demons or some gawbage like that. Dey moved to Nowth America afta Da First Wave hit and have been heeya eva since. Surprised youz IMOP don't know about em'..."

       "Trust me, we know about em', we've just had our hands tied as of late what with all these new Third Wavers running amok," Bhang confessed. "What do you know of their activities in Victoria?"

       "Word on da street is dem Paladins have got some kind of secret weapon— a Mark-usa wit a healin' Mark..." Azaire fiddled with his empty glass for a moment before suddenly jerking his head to the side, as if he had seen a ghost. "Damn."

       "What is it?" Bhang whispered, trying to mask his concern.

       "We're bein' watched," Azaire stood still as he analyzed his surroundings. Nearby tables on the second level were filling with multiple men in suits; they were far too smartly dressed and stoic for a jazz club. "Dey know we been talkin' bout dem I presume. How are youz at fightin'?"

       "Better than most," Bhang replied as he began cracking his knuckles. "How about you?"

       "I think I'll let what happens next answer dat question for youz," Azaire sneered as fingernails extended into the sharp feral claws of a wild animal.

        "No killing on my watch, Bayou-boy," Bhang warned Azaire. "You take a life tonight and you won't walk away from this a free man."

       "What a pity..." Azaire sighed as his claws retracted, looking up at the twelve grunts surrounding their table. "You're one a dem softy-cops"

       "Can I help you, fellas?" Bhang tilted his head slightly, getting a better angle to identify each thug's hidden firearm. Surprisingly they weren't guns at all, but swords, hidden in their suit jackets. "What the-...?"

       "Die, sinner!" One of them shouted.

       As the nearest thug prepared to strike Azaire with his blade, Bhang reacted, and the compression spring loading up inside his elbow released its energy. Bhang's whole forearm shot out of its socket and his fist crashed into the face of the assassin. The assailant dropped his sword and fell to the ground in a heap, but Bhang didn't stop there; his fist had bounced off the downed attacker's face, and the spring-loaded punch changed its trajectory as the metal coil kept stretching, turning sharply to the left and delivering a right hook to five other thugs. Azaire took action next, crushing the martini glass in his hand and freezing the shards instantly with a steaming substance that formed around his hand. He tossed the fine glass shards at the crowd of well-dressed ruffians, creating a blinding cloud of freezing dust that disoriented the gangsters. He took this opportunity to disarm and batter them, breaking their ribs and legs with simple but impossibly fast kicks and punches.

       "Neat trick..." Bhang remarked as he launched his left foot into the gut of another grunt. "How'd you manage that?"

       "I turned da helium in da air into a liquid den combined it wit da glass," Azaire explained as he backhanded a fast-approaching thug, knocking him back into one of the floor's support pillars. "What's wit da springs? Dat dare is a powa straight outta Da Roadrunna Show."

       *Azaire Bellerose Robespierre | Liquefy Mark: instantly transforms anything Azaire so desires into its liquid state via his touch!*

       "Huh, never heard that one before," Bhang chuckled as he immediately thought back to the slapstick antics of Willey Coyote and Roadrunner. He then lit a cigarette, kicking a swordsman in the face with a long-range spring-kick. "I loved that show back in the day when they still aired its reruns."

       *Johnny Lin Bhang Jackson | Spring Mark: gives Bhang the ability to transmute any part of his body into high-powered springs!*

       As more thugs armed with blades entered the nightclub, people began to panic and everyone fled the violent scene that was unfolding before them. Officer Bhang and Azaire descended the staircase and ventured out into the middle of the nightclub, letting the sharp-dressed warriors surround them.

       "Back to back!" Bhang ordered Azaire as he pressed himself up against the Cajun, covering him.

       "Please..." Azaire chuckled as he tucked away his glasses, amused by Bhang's unnecessary tactics. "Let me have a go."

       Azaire disappeared in an instant, skating from table to table with unparalleled speed as he gave each thug a quick karate chop the back of the head. The swordsmen were stunned by Azaire's incredible reflexes and precision, and began to resort to firearms to dispatch the duo instead. They pulled out pistols and submachine guns, firing wildly at Bhang and Azaire. Azaire was capable of dodging with his advanced speed, but Bhang didn't take chances, even with his enhanced jumping abilities. Bhang leapt over the bar for cover and waited for Azaire to mop up the rest of them. Plugging his ears, Bhang barely noticed Rebecca yelling at him in a fit of rage. It was only once she began pounding on his shoulder that he realized she was there.

       "R-Rebecca?! What are you still doing in here?! Ow!" Bhang winced as Rebecca sped up her assault, beating Bhang with her fists. "Cut it out!"

       "You damn shit-faced moron! What did I say about fights?!" Rebecca screamed at the top of her lungs, almost rivalling the sound of ricocheting bullets as they broke bottle of hard liquor arranged on the bar's shelves. "How do you expect me to pay for all of this?!"

       "I'll claim the damages with the IMOP, Becca! Cool it!" Bhang pushed Rebecca off, readjusting his bowler hat and coat. "I'm sorry, okay?! How was I supposed to know I'd get jumped like this?!"

       "You're a God-damned IMOP Officer for Christ sake! You should have a little foresight for these things!" Rebecca shrieked as she ducked her head, shielding herself from flying glass. "Shit!"

       "Well, I'm sorry I'm not fuckin' psychic!" Bhang growled at Rebecca, steam gushing out of his ears.

       "Don't get smart with me, Johnny!" Rebecca scolded him, slapping him across the face. "I'll kick your damn ass!"

       "Oh, really?!" Bhang roared as Rebecca began a grappling match with him. "Get the hell off of me!"

       "You fuckin' sonofa-! You mother-!" Rebecca tried to think of a fouler curse to throw in Bhang's face, but she was too enraged to think clearly, and they were both to occupied with each other to notice the gunfire had ceased entirely.

       "Excuse me, lovebirds? Sorry ta interrupt, but I've dealt wit our pest problem..." Azaire smirked as he sat down on one of the barstools, looking down at Bhang and Rebecca as they laid motionless on top of one another.

       With a grunt, Bhang and Rebecca both stood back up, witnessing the carnage left in Azaire's wake. Tables were turned, chairs were smashed, and dozens of unconscious thugs were strewn across the floor in broken piles. Thankfully, the stage didn't sustain any damage, but the lounge area was torn to pieces by gunfire. And yet, miraculously, Azaire appeared to be totally intact. What was even more disturbing about him was the fact that he was humming to himself, as if all the chaos and violence didn't even happen in his mind.

       "Thanks, I guess..." Rebecca scoffed as she grabbed a can of ale off the bar floor and swigged the whole thing. "Fuckin' pricks."

       "How the hell can you move that fast anyway, Az-...?" Bhang trailed off as he looked down at Azaire's hand, or rather, the oozing stump where his hand should've been. "Um, Azaire?"

       "Oh, Christ!" Rebecca held back the urge to vomit as she watched Azaire shrug his shoulders at her, oblivious to his injury.

       "What's seems to be da-...? Hmm..." Azaire scratched his head for a moment, searching for his hand as if it were some meaningless misplaced item. After browsing the debris scattered across the floor for a few moments, Azaire picked up his dismembered hand and held it up to his bleeding stump, humming to himself as the appendage sucked itself back onto his forearm. "Ah, good as new." Cold blue veins gathered around his wrist as the injury healed itself in a matter of seconds. "Does it look good to youz?"

       "What the hell are you?" Bhang gawked at Azaire's hand as he waved it about to test its mobility.

       "Aw, just little ol' me, that's all..." Azaire snickered, showing off a maw full of long, translucent fish teeth. "But if yoe talkin' bout my Mark, I think da Algonquians had a name foe it..." Azaire shook his head as he thought to himself. "Bah, I foeget!"

       "Um... guys?" Rebecca backed away from the unconscious thugs, watching as their bodies began to burst into flames. "They're starting on fire!"

       "Aw, not dis again!" Azaire scraped the air with is hand, liquefying the water vapour in the air to douse their charred bodies. "Deese are Paladins alright— pull dis shit all da time afta you take out one dare own. Dey don't wanna be tracked so dey put a failsafe in case dare hits fail."

       "Shit... this'll be a nightmare for forensics..." Bhang shook his head as he removed his hat, running his hand through his dark locks. "Well, thanks for the help, Az-..." Bhang darted his head side to side as he searched for Azaire, but he was nowhere to be found. "Azaire...? Azaire?! Shit, he's gone! Becca, did you-?!"

       "I don't fucking know! The guy just bolted!" Rebecca answered him as she threw her hands up in the air out of pure frustration. "What the fuck is this day...?"

       "God dammit!" In a fit of blind rage, Bhang slammed his fist on the nearest table, smashing it to bits in front of Rebecca. "Oh, um, Becca! I didn't mean to-... err..."

       Rebecca shook her head disappointedly as she scoffed at Bhang. "I hate you.

[yahoo-shutdown-corner-blog]

How Bill Belichick prepares Patriots players for ‘once in a career’ type of plays

HOUSTON — On what was the final (but could have been the penultimate) play of the first half of the divisional-round playoff game between the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys, the Packers punted from deep in their end of the field and the Cowboys’ Cole Beasley fair caught it.

End of half. Standard stuff, right?

Not really. It actually set up a rare possibility and invoked an obscure NFL rule: the fair catch free kick option. After any fair catch, teams are allowed to try a free kick from that spot, where with the help of a holder, a kicker can line up and attempt to boot the ball between the uprights. But fair catches rarely happen close enough to attempt the kick and it almost always occurs only in the waning seconds of a half because a miss means the other team potentially takes over at that spot (or can try to run back a miss like a normal missed field goal).

[Ditch the paper and pen – play Squares Pick’em for the Big Game!]

Referee Tony Corrente gave Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett the option — even though the clock had expired — of attempting an untimed 72-yard field goal in which Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey would have had no Packers rushing at him by rule. Almost like a kickoff, but it’s potentially worth three points. (It’s in the NFL rule book, for real.) Garrett passed on the chance. The Cowboys lost, 34-31.

This wasn’t the difference in the game. But it certainly was an opportunity for three extra points — one that seldom comes up in NFL games. Fox announcers Joe Buck and Troy Aikman never mentioned the possibility of the free kick, which probably speaks to how rare it is. It’s the Halley’s Comet of NFL plays.

Bill Belichick shows the New England Patriots unusual situations from other teams’ games to prepare them. (AP)

And yet there’s one coach who better than probably any other in today’s game who prepares his team for such plays. The New England Patriots’ Bill Belichick preaches situational football and awareness like no other that we’re aware of, even keeping his players — and himself — refreshed on all the game’s rules, even the most obscure ones.

“Those kind of plays come up sometimes once in a career,” Belichick said Tuesday. “They are very unusual. First of all, you have to explain the situation so that everyone understands it.”

Patriots receiver Julian Edelman said Belichick shows a film cut-up of unusual situations that crop up in non-Patriots games during the season and will review them with his players. Edelman wouldn’t say whether the free kick rule was specifically discussed but pointed to another rare (but still more common) rule that could come up in Super Bowl LI on Sunday against the Atlanta Falcons.

[Read and React Newsletter: Shutdown Corner’s best Super Bowl coverage in your inbox!]

“We’ll go over those situations, such as the extension of the out-of-bounds rule on kickoffs where if you’re half in or on the line and half on the playing field, you’re extending the out of bounds,” Edelman said. “We go over this stuff all the time.”

The odds of a fair-catch free kick coming up Sunday have to be in the hundreds- or perhaps thousands-to-one. There have been more than 4,000 NFL games (regular season and playoffs) since the league expanded to 32 teams in 2002, and there are only seven known possibilities — and in four of them, including the Packers-Cowboys game, the team passed on the chance to attempt it.

Belichick could remember only one instance during his Patriots career where it came into play.

“The closest that it really came for us at the Patriots was against Miami in 2002,” Belichick said. “At the end of the game, we had them backed up and there were just a few seconds to go in the game. They punted but we couldn’t make the catch.”

Belichick’s memory, of course, is spot on. Dolphins punter Mark Royals punted from his own 14-yard line with four seconds left, and it traveled only 30 yards.

“If we caught the ball, we would’ve had a free-kick opportunity with Adam [Vinatieri],” Belichick said. “It was a kick that was into the wind and we just couldn’t quite get to it. It hit the ground but it would’ve been a free kick situation. Things like that are unusual.”

Since the NFL merger in 1970, there have been only 11 free kick field-goal attempts in the regular season and one in the playoffs. Only one of those 13 tries, back in 1976 by the San Diego Chargers’ Ray Wersching, was made. After there were two attempts in a five-week span in 2008, there has been only one fair-catch free-kick try, back in 2013 by the Green Bay Packers’ Mason Crosby.

Most of the attempts are longer than normal field-goal tries, too, as Crosby’s miss was from 68. The absence of a rushing defense will allow some coaches to feel comfortable attempting a kickoff-length field goal, although the flip side is that the defense also can attempt to run a miss back.

Quirky rule indeed. Most NFL fans can’t say they’ve seen one. That goes for many coaches, too. Looking back at any NFL game Belichick ever coached in where a free kick occurred, the only one that revealed itself was in 1979 when Belichick coached special teams for the New York Giants. The Giants led the Washington Redskins, 14-6, and tried a free kick from 74 yards out (!) in the waning moments, as there was no two-point conversion then and they hoped to score the field goal, recover an onside kick and then complete a Hail Mary for the win. Alas, Mark Moseley’s free-kick try came up short.

Want to watch a funny version of this? Back in 1984, watch as the Indianapolis Colts and Patriots seemed to stumble around the field as everyone tried to figure out exactly how one of these free kicks actually worked. Credit play-by-play announcer, the late Charlie Jones, for instantly recognizing the rarity of the situation on the broadcast.

Imagine the prop-bet odds you could get for this happening Sunday. As Belichick noted, football’s natural chaos theory — the smallest change making the biggest difference — likely keeps it from coming up very much.

“Some of the situations, if you just add or subtract a second from the situation or add or subtract a few yards and put a timeout into that equation, with or without it, you get a pretty dramatic shift on what the strategy would be, the type of play you would want or wouldn’t want,” he said. “It doesn’t take much to tweak some of those situations to really change your thinking.”

But the point is that Belichick is always testing his team on these obscure possibilities. It’s something Chris Long noted after joining the team this past offseason.

“No detail is too small,” Long said. “The level of preparation is unparalleled. There is nothing that seems to slip through the cracks.”

Belichick showed the Patriots the final play of the first half in the Week 9 game between the New Orleans Saints and San Francisco 49ers when 49ers head coach Chip Kelly ordered his defenders to hold all the Saints’ receiver across the board with 8 seconds remaining from the San Francisco 13-yard line.

It was a brilliant strategy, really — time is not put back on the clock on a defensive penalty, and it forced the Saints to kick a field goal instead of giving them a chance to score a touchdown and go up 15 points. (Really, this is what former Belichick assistant Nick Saban should have had his Crimson Tide do against Clemson at the Alabama 2-yard line with 6 seconds left, as Tigers head coach Dabo Swinney admitted after the game that they would have kicked the field goal had there been any less time on the clock.)

“The San Francisco play against New Orleans at the end of the half — things like that that you don’t see or haven’t seen in a long time. You have to refresh yourself and then remind the players and coaches as well,” Belichick said. “We do that on a regular basis. We go over situations weekly. A lot of those happen in other games. Sometimes that situation doesn’t even line up with something that happens in our game, but it makes you think about things and other adjustments or plays.”

Most NFL games are more evenly matched that you think, talent-wise. Sometimes the less-talented team ends up winning. But being aware of the situation and knowing how to gain an edge, no matter how small, has been a hallmark of Belichick’s coaching as he goes for Super Bowl No. 7 — five as a head coach.

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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at edholm@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!

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