#but actually i think it's just because that level of emotions leads her to lose control of the disguise keeping her sclera Not Dark

[celestialtrolls]

some aelynn expression + arm posing sketches i did in between Struggling with drawing something else and now i go to bed

the middle one is supposed to look more like suppressing anxiety but it just kind of looks mildly concerned about something annoying

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Buddy Daddies - Episode 7 - Thought Post - Side Rei

Oh, Rei...OTL

This episode was an eye opener for him. But, I also think it did a good job of highlighting how this isn’t just Rei “being lazy” and not contributing enough, but also about Rei just not knowing how to do these things. 

When he opens the fridge, he doesn’t even know which stuff in there is the food. And this is because of his upbringing, not necessarily because he was rich, but because he was brought up to kill and that was it. Skills pertaining to his ability to kill were the only thing his father and family focused on, so that was all he learned. 

If you don’t teach a child how to do something (whether physically or emotionally), how can we expect them to know how to do it as an adult? That’s the issue facing Rei here. That’s not to say that he is completely blameless here or that he hasn’t put in any effort. He has, but a lot of the things he does right tend to be more accidental and where he is largely putting in some effort (like playing games with her) is a bit misguided. Making sure she stays protected from people who can harm her is an area he has gotten extremely good at though.

But, let’s look at some of the things that I think Rei accidentally gets right with Miri. By being, on a life skills and emotional development level, in a similar place as Miri, he ends up accidentally being really good at allowing Miri to guide him at times. For example, in this week’s episode we have this moment:

Rei is in front of her closet, looks at her, and askes, “What do you need to take?” He’s asking about her things for daycare. Miri is then able to point to the sheet of paper that tells him everything he needs (a little checklist). This is a good thing to do with children around Miri’s age from time to time, since it can not only work as a good confidence booster for them, but also let the parent or teacher know that the child understands aspects of their daily routine.

Of course, it isn’t good for a parent or teacher to rely on this. Why? Because the child is still a child and still learning and will sometimes make mistakes, like Miri does when she says to Rei, “Don’t I have daycare today?” And then this mistake is what ultimately leads to Miri developing a cold and fever later on in the episode, because she wasn’t wearing proper clothes and Rei was riding too fast, thus making it even colder and wetter.

But, we’ll get back to that in a bit.

The rest of this I will put under a Read More due to length.

We also see that Rei views Miri on pretty equal footing in many ways. Here are two examples of this: 

The first is when Miri asks to play Morio Kart with Rei and he tells her “no,” because she gets upset when she loses. This indicates that he doesn’t go easy on her, which is a good thing. Allowing children to lose at games is a good thing. The not so good thing though, is that she gets upset when she loses and Rei doesn’t help her through that (because he, himself, doesn’t know how to handle emotions like that). So, instead, he basically just parent-locks the game away from her. That doesn’t help her learn, that just ends up punishing her, in a way, for not being able to understand how to express her upset. Of course, that isn’t Rei’s intentions.

The second example of this is the scene when Miri and Rei are eating the dinner Kazuki made:

He doesn’t force her to eat the food (and neither does Kazuki in the end, actually), but he also goes down to her level in not showing proper acknowledgement of the hard work Kazuki put into making the meal. We saw this earlier in the episode too:

After a meal they have earlier in the episode, Miri says a proper “Thanks for the food,” in Japanese ごちそうさまでした (gouchisousamadeshita). The subs have Rei say, “Same.” And that is an excellent translation (really, kudos to the sub and dub translators for Buddy Daddies, because the translations have been so good in general!). Basically, Rei just ends up parroting off of Miri in this scene by saying the tail end of the full, proper saying. He just says でした (deshita). 

Up until this week’s episode, Rei was able to skate by on not having these skills, because Kazuki would just do all this stuff for him, and there were no real consequences or level of accountability for his actions. The closest was Episode 5, but that ended up working out okay.

In this week’s episode, Miri does end up being all right, but she isn’t completely safe from harm. Because of Rei’s lack of life skills, Miri ends up getting very sick. This ends up scaring Rei shitless.

The scene of him going around, opening all the draws and seeing absolutely nothing he could use to help Miri. The closest thing being medicine that are for adults only (another great detail that highlight how both Kazuki and Rei are still learning how to make their household accommodating for a child). Is a great way to show just how panicked and worried he was, since I’m sure everyone has had a similar experience to this one, when looking for something very important you need - and just not finding it.

Eventually, Rei realizes he needs to take her to a doctor and that he needs to seek outside help right away to make sure she gets better. And that is a great thing about this week’s episode. Kazuki and Rei’s storylines are kept separate for the most part, because the episode highlights how getting help outside of your partner is necessary sometimes (and is far healthier). Before, they were being co-dependent and that was taking a toll on them (Rei with a lack of skills, and Kazuki with being able to keep locking away his emotions and not allowing himsef to move on because he could focus all his time and energy on caring for Miri and Rei). 

In the end, they both find the right person in their extended family and community to help them in just the right way that they need. Kyutaro for Rei (not Kazuki he wasn’t the right fit), and Karin for Kazuki.

Before Rei brings Miri to Kyutaro though, he has the realization of:

“I can’t do anything.”

And that is very, very important. This was his wake-up call that he if he wants to make sure no harm comes to Miri, then he needs to step up his game and put effort into learning these skills. Because yes, he is an adult who wasn’t taught these things, but he is also an adult who is responsible for a child - a whole other life. And I think that finally sunk in for Rei this episode.

When Kazuki gets home he sees that the apartment is a mess and at first thinks that it is just because Rei and Miri are both not good at household chores, so that is just the expected outcome. But then he sees this in Miri’s room:

Miri sleeping in her bed with Rei sleeping right beside her, his hand covering hers. She has a wet washcloth on her forehead, a glass of water on the bedside table, an opened medicine packet from the pharmacist, and a thermometer is sitting in arms reach. Everything that should be there, is, and Rei made sure Miri took the medicine and got the sleep that she needed. 

In the end, he was able to make sure Miri got everything she needed in this situation. He took care of her. 

Finally, the episode ends with Rei (with what seemed to be implied the help of Miri) making Kazuki French toast.

It isn’t the best. It’s burnt and seems like it may have been oversaturated as well, so it likely doesn’t taste the best either. But Rei and Miri tried. They put love and effort into that. And Rei looks very nervous and eager at the same time. He wants to know how he did:

His shoulders are tense, his eyebrows furrowed, and he leans forward. This is a great step in the right direction and reminds me of how people often say that children want to be helpful. Rei’s never really been given the chance to be helpful before now, but not that he has that experience, it seems like he wants to try and actually be helpful. 

So let’s hope that we see him doing just that! I want future episodes to carry this character growth over, just like they’ve carried plot points over before (such as their issue with going over their budget in Episode 4 leading to money issues in Episode 5). I have trust in the writers and directors that they will though. Otherwise, it would make this episode a moot one. Here’s to Rei Papa continuing to learn and grow and do his best! <3

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Has anyone asked you about erisol?

If no, then what's your opinion on them! :-)

I feel like people will be upset at me for this, but a completely platonic and completely lukewarm mutual dislike... they don't really like each other, but take no great issue with each other either. The boys are not fightingggg

So like. A common thing in fandoms is taking things at face value and not really reading any deeper into them. You see this a shitton with Eridan in general - lots of people take it 100% at face value that he's a casteist genocide liker, when it's pretty clear upon further examination that he's pretty much lying about being casteist and doesn't actually want to murder his friends. So, at face value, Eridan hates Sollux, and either wants to do spadesies with him, or go ashen with him. And so this has become a really popular ship, but the thing is... at basically every turn, the story kind of goes out of its way to point out that there's actually nothing between them. At least romantically.

See, Eridan does not actually hate Sollux, at least not to the level of pitch/ashen. TWICE before Sollux and Feferi start hanging out all the time, we see Eridan commenting on Sollux in a fairly neutral-negative way - the first time calling him "a drama machine" and noting that "it is fuckin pathetic," and the second time as "the dead guy who saved [Feferi]". And let's be clear about the former, Eridan is just kind of Like That, he's rude as fuck even about people he LIKES (calling his BFF Karkat an "assblood" and sarcastically referring to Feferi by her royal titles), so that's actually one of the less nasty things he's said about someone.

Meanwhile, on Sollux's end, he LITERALLY says "not interested" to what he perceives as pitch/ashen advances from Eridan. Like, actually just says those words out loud. Not even in a pesterlog, he actually just says those words with his mouth.

So it seems to me that there's a pretty clear case to be made here that Eridan and Sollux kind of just... don't really give a shit about each other, and probably wouldn't have interacted in any substantial way if not for Feferi's involvement. Especially because Eridan's chosen method of hitting on Sollux is with casteism, something he's already faking in the first place.

If we really want to dig into this, though, it's kind of - in my eyes - a lukewarm case of the hedgehog dilemma. They're a bit too similar, and it winds up causing them both mild pain to get too close.

They're both nihilists that kind of hate themselves. Sollux's mutated brain causes him a not-insignificant amount of discomfort, his visions of the future and of the "imminently doomed" have made him lose a lot of hope, and he blames himself for killing Aradia, something so painful that he didn't tell anyone else she died, to the point where most of the team - including Terezi and Tavros - had to find out after entering the game. Meanwhile, Eridan struggles with the perceived inevitability of a lifestyle that causes him nothing but distress, and his constant, overwhelming anxiety about it leads to constant stressing over whether or not he's "good enough"; whenever he's in severe emotional distress, he starts beating up on himself.

They also both front at being more okay with their problems than they actually are. Sollux has his 1337 hacker, two cool for you persona that he puts on, and Eridan is always trying to be the big bad sea dweller. For example, Sollux goes "I'm not trolling the humans, it's beneath me," but he's in Jade's trollslum, so the implication there is that he totally did try trolling, it went badly for him, and now he's pretending that he was always better than that. And I don't think I need to tell you how hard Eridan works to try and present himself as badass and scary and totally not deep in the throes of emotional anguish at all times.

And these are the similarities that ultimately make Erisolsprite so stable. Erisolsprite speculates that maybe the reason he hasn't exploded yet is that deep down, he loves to suffer. The truth is, there's nothing between the two that's really so objectionable that they would ACTUALLY hate each other; Eridan isn't actually casteist, and Eridan never really hated Sollux in the first place.

Neither would they bring each other any comfort or joy - Eridan doesn't have any sympathy for Sollux's baggage, since, like, what, he only killed ONE person, and was even under mind control, so it's not like it was really his fault. He's a drama machine. And Sollux wouldn't have sympathy for Eridan's problems, partially because they manifest in such cringeworthy, embarrassing ways (and Sollux is highly sensitive to not being cringe, seeing as he's always commenting on other people being embarrassing or overly earnest), and partially because - I mean, fuck it, he's a rich-ass sea dweller who doesn't need to worry about being harvested to be a battery for a living ship. And also he's an idiot.

That's kind of what their relationship is to me, you know? A tepid and lukewarm dislike. They're just similar enough to each other to understand the other, and just different enough to be like "ugh, but that guy suuuuuuuucks". It's very funny, but not really a ship, hahaha.

So what you really get from that is two guys that just kind of dislike each other. Not vehemently or diametrically enough for pitch or ashen, and not a trace of the requisite pity for flushed or pale. When you throw the two together into one sprite, it won't shut up about how much it hates itself, how each part of itself is flabberghasted by the other, and how much practically the only reason it doesn't explode is a resounding "meh."

Eridan likes to validate his despair; ironically, since it's all he's ever known, it's where he feels comfortable - and nobody would provide better doomscrolling material than the doom player. Similarly, Sollux likes to torment himself, suffering his guilt in silence, and Eridan has SO MUCH to feel guilty over. Combine them into one entity, and you have a guy who can reach SUCH levels of revelling in his own misery, you don't even KNOW.

Not that it's healthy or positive for either of them... just that it would be incredibly stable. It's their worst tendencies being satisfied by each other. Maybe that's a form of leprechaun romance, but it's certainly not a quadrant.

[findmeinthefallair]

It's me again. The therapist/illustrator who can't stop squeaking and screaming about her beloved son Hunter.

I've been thinking nonstop about him finding the terrible grimwalker graveyard, imagining what would be going through my mind if I were him. Sifting through whatever moments, dialogue and frames that I can find from the existing material, along with references outside of the show, to formulate what an offscreen scene would've been like.. (And seeing if I can find editable and salvageable enough backgrounds so I could perhaps even depict this scene one day)

A soul like him who not only wants to help others, but also acquire knowledge:

heading back here to see the graveyard:

You can't tell me that this wouldn't still be on his mind, and he's even anxious while saying this below, scratching his face a little:

Whether he follows up on this or not, also depends on how he looks back on being shown this:

And is he just going to go cold turkey and totally drop these leads he was pursuing in the episodes before the finale? :

Three things prompted me to finally write this post:

@polyhexian's and @ashanimus's analyses of Hunter's fight scenes in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake (links here and here, they're really cool to read!!), based on their years of experience with martial arts. Reading those was a revelation to me because learning about how high Hunter's skill level is, how in touch with his body he is by default, portrayed so well thanks to the crew...that allows me to make far more educated guesses about his mental health in the early stages of the pre-epilogue gap of about 4 years. Because he is so used to high activity and being on high alert, no thanks to having C-PTSD.

Observing how light and free Hunter's expressions are, and how transformed his demeanor became, in the epilogue sequence. That transformation is an indication to me of the magnitude of grief which had to be transformed within him. To be put back together, in order to be so radiant, generous and self-actualized in the epilogue...imagine how much had to be deconstructed and further broken beforehand. He wouldn't have room to fill his life up with all that amazing newness if the old isn't emptied out first.

This psychoeducational video by my fave author, also a practicing therapist, who specializes in traumatic grief: link. Hearing her address the topic of entering the second year after a bereavement vs. the first year, was interesting. Definitely confirms to me that Hunter wouldn't have carved Waffles until past the 2nd year of navigating his bereavement.

In the years that pass before the epilogue, Hunter will not be able to understand why the efforts he puts into all the rebuilding work, coordinating and leading others, and trying to have fun - only cycle back to him experiencing a mix of a restlessness and emptiness in the deepest layer of his mind. It'll exhaust his energy bit by bit. I bet he's going to generally look as tired as depressed Luz does below, even if he's had an acceptable hours of sleep per night:

That restlessness will be an awful psychological itch that he'll be unable to scratch, caused by losing Flapjack and now also Belos. This is the same as what happened with his anger in For the Future, except Belos was still alive back then. It will be harder to understand and messier to navigate the bereavement this time round. It'll be something gnawing into his soul which I really think only professional help can heal, especially since the show promotes that it's okay to not be okay, and more than okay to seek professional help (Steve and Lilith's conversation in Edge of the World).

He will be trying to claw his way out of that C-PTSD pit, but he'll be aware deep down that he simply cannot reach any emotional high points for long, and something will be blocking his feelings of connection with his loved ones. He won't feel nearly as free and easy the way he used to be in the human realm:

Having a routine like he used to in the Castle, and moving around a lot, was what helped him survive. However, he won't have the awareness that the shift resulting from Belos passing away has been at such a fundamental level: to the point that those old, supposedly tried-and-true methods no longer serve him in any positive way. At least, not until his mental health will be back in better shape.

As he puts in more and more effort to escape that restless emptiness, getting annoyed at himself because he doesn't know what's going on...he'll use up the rest of his strength and eventually crash. That itch won't be solved by going back to overworking tendencies, and like how it is with addiction cycles, he would need some kind of fix for the deep restlessness within. The answer? Productivity to feel useful, which we have seen even in his efforts to fix damaged clothing and well, making stuff in general.

Where the grimwalker graveyard comes in is...once he hears news about its existence, he will stubbornly insist to want to help in investigating it, saying he has already read a bunch of books about them, and can be useful, etc. Worse, if his offer to help to investigate is refused, he will do what he did in Eclipse Lake. Go to the location anyway, to fill that deep void within.

Old habits die hard.

I don't know if he may hear from King (who he'll be seeing fairly often, I think!), The Collector or even Kikimora about it. Since they were the three characters who went all the way down there in King's Tide, and The Collector already knew about these horrors for literal centuries. King and The Collector are also still young kids! Will they have the sensitivity and awareness about breaking this news to Hunter?!

On the other hand, I don't know how the timing will be with Darius, Raine and Eberwolf..Darius will want to get serious about investigating his mentor's disappearance. Once the searching and scouring extends to the location of the Head of the Titan, they will find the evidence staring them in the face. If they want to scour every inch of the Isles, there's also a high chance they'll find the godforsaken grimwalker lab.

Worst of all, Darius would be aware by then of how much Hunter loves to help out in operations like this to be productive. At the same time, Darius's own grief will surface even more, I'm not sure he'll be able to hide that, and Hunter is highly observant. If Darius is trying to hide his own priority of finding closure re: his mentor, I think Hunter will sense that.

Therefore I wonder if this will happen except it's Hunter with Darius:

and then this poor beloved skrunkly son of mine, who so famously said these words at the beginning of his arc:

is probably going to get reckless, and endanger his mental health...not unlike moments like this:

by venturing to the graveyard, whether stealthily or accompanying the grownups, because he'll rationalize it as "getting closure" and once again "being useful". Remember how used he is to moving around so much and being active, combined with growing up isolated so that asking for help can still be a foreign concept to him. He would be anxious about grinding to a halt, and he'd want to be on the move instead.

He may demand to see the graveyard, and holy Titan I'm not sure any dilemma will be as tricky for Camila and Darius to navigate as this one. Because preventing him from seeing something he already knows exists is, in a very twisted way, also an unhelpful form of avoidance. Avoidance is a hallmark criterion for diagnosing both PTSD and C-PTSD.

How far do they go in protecting him from himself? Where do they draw that line? They might reach a compromise where Camila and Darius accompany him there. Once he sees it, it'll hit harder than this:

Letting him see it means his new parents would have to fall with him, in the sense that they follow him to that emotional place: but while he figuratively does not have a safety harness when falling into this deep dark hole, Camila and Darius are equipped with harnesses a.k.a. higher maturity, less of a trauma history, and some tools to help him get better, navigate the trauma, and manage his symptoms.

Camila will have the warmth and sensitivity to catch and meet him as he falls (she interacts with animals in her profession, who don't have the capacity for human language, in a similar way to how serious trauma can't even be put into words at times: it makes you voiceless). Darius's shared past living in the Castle and grieving over his mentor will help Hunter not feel as alone once he has seen these horrors.

And because his heart generally became more open to receiving love and support,

I doubt he'll close himself off almost completely, the way he did in the first two-thirds of For the Future (god, remember these deleted storyboards??):

It wouldn't surprise me if he weeps and panics as soon as he sees the graveyard, and his parents give him maximum support through that breakdown. As complicated as it would be for Camila and Darius to give in to his desire to see the graveyard, a response like this from him - a child seeking attachment with proper timing - is a good sign of growing into healthy attachment with parental figures.

It is an arguably better response than one of the hardest aspects of C-PTSD: where the outpouring of grief only happens after a delay, sometimes a significant delay, at very inconvenient or strange times. Hell...if I were Hunter, I'd probably want Camila and Darius to just hold me close in wordless silence for half an hour until my initial distress and shock passes.

If I use King - a child who is securely attached to Eda, who's definitely had a more stable upbringing - as a control experiment here, he could have the appropriate response immediately in Echoes of the Past and expressed his emotional needs clearly enough:

Whereas this is what Hunter has to now learn, at twice King's age, as he settles in with new parents who take care of him instead of mistreating him the way Belos did. Hell, I can't imagine what kind of Belos punishment awaited him if he cried to demand attachment.

(I need to use more King scenes as a comparison to Hunter's upbringing in my next metas! I realize this can make my explanations clearer)

Anyway, what may happen next after he can't unsee the graveyard is...Hunter will then swing to the other extreme of high activity. I.e. being passive, physically inactive and psychologically crashing into depression, which may translate into habits such as oversleeping (catching up on all that lost sleep...but at what cost?). Supposedly sliding deeper into the C-PTSD pit. A place from which he has to express the desire to seek the forms of help he needs.

Remember that this kid has only known extremes for most of his life. Until he settles in properly with his found family and attends therapy, he has no clear reference point for more balanced approaches in living.

The trauma he went through is a quadruple whammy for a 16-year-old who just survived growing up in a cult. It would be so much. I can't see him not falling into months of deep dark depression, as unfortunate as this sounds.

Grieving over Flapjack, grieving over Belos, over his childhood/upbringing, and now a grisly memory of his predecessors who didn't make it (to add to what he saw in Belos's mindscape). I simply cannot see him handling a load like this without a highly-equipped and sensitive professional, paired with his support network of family, friends and even possibly the wider community at times. Especially now that we've seen him in action during the epilogue.

The epilogue sequence would've had a different feel (and in my opinion, a not-so-good feel) for me if Dana had established that the grimwalker graveyard was still untouched after those 3.5-4 years and if Hunter never found out about it. Something like that is different compared to Dana mentioning in the recent Post-Hoot that in the he does not know about Caleb and Evelyn, or that he is related to the Clawthornes. Mysteries like the Clawthorne heritage can remain an eerie secret that only us in the audience know about, but I wouldn't feel comfy if this were the case for the graveyard as well.

To quote @idlescree's video essay about Hunter's death (link), the show's writers didn't pull any punches when it came to Hunter's development arc. Which means they had to take his story to the "categorically appropriate place for him to overcome" his greatest challenges.

Something tells me that with respect to the grimwalker graveyard and the avoidance theme in C-PTSD recovery, Hunter would've had to put in more work to confront a number of terrifying foes even beyond his Thanks to Them speech. One of which was the graveyard containing the remains of his predecessors.

PS: This is a spontaneous post which branches out from my giant post-finale meta (link) that I pinned to my blog, I suppose.

[frommike]

Okay, I have a question because it's the one thing that makes me doubt Byler... If Byler is endgame, why do we have Mike's monologue??? Wouldn't it have been better to have a platonic "I love you" from El's brothers, to give her strength, just like her mother did? Why did the writers make Mike say that he's always loved her and even made him remember the color of her t-shirt? That can't all be a lie. The only possibility I see here is that Mike truly does love El but will still end up with Will because he realizes they're a better fit or something, idk.

Honestly, this one moment has nothing against byler to me. I know people were freaked when it first came out, but in all context the scene does not have romantic connotations. It's so far removed from intimacy or tender affection that I would feel genuinely sorry for El if this was the culmination of Mike's love for her. I do have a lot of thoughts, so sorry if this derails at any point, but I'll try to hit the broader ones, since I know so many people have already done analyses on the details.

Important point, bouncing off the lack of romance, it doesn't help her. She doesn't gain any motivation from the bulk of the monologue. And there's no action on her side that would stop them from framing it softer, more romantic. Meanwhile, even with Max's possession in 4x04, there is heart in it when Lucas catches Max. There are people in the frame with them that don't crowd or intrude on their connection. That was their moment. After all the action that hinders heartfelt moments, we still get that reciprocation at the end. Nothing like that for Mike and El. It wouldn't be that hard to see the direct aftermath of El waking up and Mike comforting her. I mean, we also get zero m*leven moments after that, for whatever reason. The closest thing is El leaning on him for comfort, which is so shocking(sarcasm) knowing all the trouble they have with communicating, finding common ground, understanding each other, that leads them to seeking physical intimacy as a workaround.

In fact, she even seems kind of upset at Mike during the cabin scene. The only thing stopping her from slamming that door on them was the memory of her (presumed) dead dad telling her to keep the door open 3 inches.

It wouldn't have been hard to, with this moment being so out of the way, have just put it in a place that actually makes it feel romantic. Like the pizza scene right before they put her in the freezer. There was no reason to save it for a high stakes moment where it does nothing.

There was also no reason to have Mike piggyback off of Will like that. They directly made him the motivator, even without the added context of Mike's development having been built up off of Will the entire season.

The monologue still coincides with the main views I've had of the characters since season 3, by the way. Mike is loyal to the point of doing anything that means he won't lose his loved ones. El was dying in his arms and the biggest conflict he knew he could resolve, to give her motivation, was that last fight they had. If that meant lying, then so be it. Dire circumstance was also the only thing motivating enough for him to say he loved her even through the whole argument with her begging for him to say it. Then he has the gull to claim he didn't know what to say. Almost like the truth wasn't something she wanted to hear. He suppresses his emotions because he refuses to be seen as weak, but that was just on another level. She had already assumed he loved her the entire time from the "I love her and I can't lose her again" thing, and she verbally reciprocates it to him. He's not hiding feelings she believes he has from her, because he already knows she thinks he feels them. That offers nothing. All she wanted was for him to say actual words that reflected how she thought he felt, while he was unable to because he knows the romantic implication of saying them and he knows that's a lie. And he knows he's not good at lying.

Still hasn't said it directly to her, by the way. She wasn't in a position to respond to him and we still don't see her response on screen through the aftermath. We don't know what she thought of the confession. We can assume, but it hasn't been shown thus far. Which is kind of suspicious. I'm sure people would love another cute m*leven scene where she responds on it, but whatever. Sure let's hide that.

Also, at the point about him remembering meeting her in the Benny's Burgers t-shirt was one of my problems with the monologue. That's his only memory, and the only thing specific he can say is the color of her shirt? Really? He can't even go into detail about how he felt during that, what she offered to him, there was no why involved. Compare to the shed scene, season 2 (re: i just felt so alone, and so scared, and i saw you on the swings and you were alone too.) (and it might help you to know, mike's line about the shirt is basically copied verbatim from eddie's line about the weird al shirt to dustin. that's not romantic)

"That can't all be a lie." It doesn't have to. What I take from the fact he lies or exaggerates at all, is that it makes you wonder what else he could be lying about. If he's willing to say it was love at first sight, or that he was never scared, what's stopping him from lying about the entire thing? It's reminiscent of the deflection technique he uses when El first confronts him about not loving her.

And your last point is possible, sure. I just don't think it would be a main point of conflict if Mike was telling the truth. Characters develop through inward reflection, and if nothing changed about how he actually felt then there was no development for him. And I don't think Will would be the one guiding and supporting him to gaining confidence if the journey he's going through resolves with him with Eleven. I mean look at J*ncy, their time apart caused more problems because they didn't communicate and find answers through each other. They're still lying to each other. Imagine if the situation with Jonathan's college letter was magically resolved with Argyle getting him high, that's kind of how I feel on where Mike and El's relationship stands.

Their conflict was a lot more involved and complicated, though. Something I genuinely need to see them work through together instead of bullshitting by splitting them up again and claiming to have done something. I want to see the miscommunication and lying resolved without Will standing in the background with cue cards.

A part of the monologue I just straight up dislike is Mike's "hero worship" of El (it's way more complicated than that phrase captures, but it would take up 2/3 of this entire post to explain my thoughts, so just be aware there is more than just idolization). The main thing that made her feel like he didn't love her anymore was connected to her powers. She feels like she has to be in this position of a hero for him to love her. And he upholds that during the monologue by rambling on for 1/2 of it about how much he loves her for her powers("I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero... ...You can fly, you can move mountains"). It's just full of disrespect. Her smile drops on screen as he says this, if you rewatch the scene. Something something... he's piggybacking off of Will again... and didn't actually develop in his mindset towards El...

Also I just realized I skipped over the point about platonic love, and all I have to say to that is that Vecna is still alive. If the point is that platonic love conquers all, or that it's what she needed in that moment, I'd rather that be saved for the ending where he actually dies. Or where El actually goes all out with her powers and starts floating, like she did while remembering her mother's love. So Vecna still kicking after Mike's shitty monologue is actually a win to me.

If this doesn't explain all your questions or you want me to expand on something, feel free to ask :)

[plantify]

Toontown Corporate Clash: Grunt Cogs

Intro

This is an except from the Clash Crew's latest QNA session. This doesn't outright state too much about Grunt Cogs, but I do not like the implications of them not having "fully developed personality chips". This could be taken in many ways which I think would only serve to weaken Clash's writing, as well as cause minor to major contradictions to things already shown in-game. Corporate Clash is pretty defined by giving Cogs more of a personality. They already had some semblance of this in TTO, but they are closer to humans in Clash. Every single Suit has their own complex personality and life story. Sure, it may be infeasible to actually show this for Grunt Cogs in normal gameplay, but it's important. Even if Cogs Inc is objectively in the wrong, you still have to think about all the lives of Suits who work for the company. If the Grunt Cogs are "less human" than more important Manager Cogs, then a lot of that element is stripped away. I will quickly analyze some specific in-game examples of this.

Rainmaker:

Misty explains that she has been hurt by her own kind in ways that Toons would not understand. We can infer that her personality traits make her a poor fit among colleagues, which leads to poor treatment towards her as a result. This is something that often happens in real life, so we don't need the perpetrators to be robots that only act mean because it's all their programming tells them to do. Real people already act this way. Assuming that Grunt Cogs are the main perpetrators against Misty, this situation would lose some nuance under the implications that they aren't as human as Managers. Why would Misty care about what someone tells her if they aren't on the same level of sentience she is? It would be akin to having AI Chatbots insulting you; there isn't any actual person telling you how much they hate you, so it loses all meaning.

Witch Hunter:

Prester's fight revolves around him using his voice and words to empower Grunt Cogs to fight for a common cause. Sure, this may just be yet another battle against Toons, but he wants to go greater than just that, talking of Cog Communities, using fear tactics, and more. If we are under the assumption that the minds of Suits are just as complex as those of humans, than this notion becomes really cool; he's convincing others to fight for him, and all these Cogs that join him must have their own personal reasons for listening to Prester. It makes Prester himself also seem like he's great at uniting others for a common cause. HOWEVER, under the assumption that Grunt Cogs just have really basic personality traits, and not much going on in their mind aside from what they were programmed for, there is no variation whatsoever in the reasoning for listening to him. It becomes a lot more like just telling a bunch of programs to do something, and they all obey, with no nuance whatsoever. There are also two Cogs during his ending cutscene which resist his words, explaining that many employees have complained about Prester. These two are already showing individuality just by doing this, as well as explaining that other Suits genuinely do not like Prester in the workforce. If they were all practically the same, these two should not be able to resist his words, and there also likely wouldn't be as many complaints regarding Prester.

Major Player:

Dave's fight already shows some variation between Grunt Cogs. Some of them are eager to get on stage and perform with Dave, whilst others are more timid, confused, or unbothered by being called onto the stage. This could be seen as a minor retcon under the assumption of Grunt Cogs having less personality. Adding onto this, why would he perform to a group of Suits that are less likely to feel heartfelt emotion or interest in what he's doing? At that rate, he should simply just perform to Manager Cogs and whatnot.

Chainsaw Consultant:

While the focus of Chip's fight is the override itself, bringing in the fact that Grunt Cogs have less developed personality chips brings in interesting implications. Why does Chip even have the override installed? It is a experimental, untested feature, and they're testing it on Chip. Yknow, one of the guys with a fully developed personality. Someone who's much more likely to suffer from having it installed. Someone who's much more likely to try and resist it BECAUSE he has a life of his own, and is his own person. If the company has countless non-important workers with no personality, why wouldn't you just test the override on one of them? If they don't really have a life of their own, or are otherwise devoid of a real personality, wouldn't it make more sense for the override to work more flawlessly on the Grunts? Of course this wouldn't be an issue under the assumption that Grunt Cogs are just as well-developed as Manager Cogs. They would face the same issues that Chip does under the effects of the override. Also, unrelated to the override, but this also makes the fact that Chip uses the Grunt Cogs as weapons hit less hard. He shoots them out of cannons at the Toons, against their will. He fires them en-masse to use as cannon fodder. Obviously, under the context that they don't matter nearly as much, this makes it harder to care about them and weakens that aspect of the narrative.

Conclusion

This was a quick look at some of the in-game examples of things that could be put into question under the assumption that Grunt Cogs aren't as fully developed as other Suits. There are absolutely more examples in-game, as well as more narrative factors that could be discussed and delved into concerning this topic.

[akria23]

Sharing my Investigation charts before Ep6 comes out. (Images best seen on desktop rather than mobile)

The first page is relationship lines & the mystery arc notes for the each group. The rest are my suspect theories.

These charts will likely drastically change as we go along.

NUTH: Is the obvious choice because he's the character the writers are pointing all the obvious clues and behavioral tendencies at. It makes it feel too easy. Granted - I know it feels too early to reveal the killer (if there is one) at this point but it’s not unheard of for a writer to reveal the killer early if there’s another aspect they want the audience to focus on (the kdrama Beyond Evil is a great example of this). He could be a lower level lackey (secondary) in the killing or he could actually be an all out red herring.

PROM: I look at Prom through 2 separate theories - the one where he’s on a revenge arc & this one where he’s the killer. The thing about Prom is he’s incredibly sus, there’s so much mystery around him, he’s so measured in how he speaks, what he holds back & he always feels like he’s in the know ahead of Nont.

Even if he’s not the killer it feels like he’s hiding something of great importance or has his own motives going on. The way he interacts with Nont comes off as if he knew about him before he revealed himself. Let’s take the wine for example - when he offers Nont wine in the room he says it’s cause he thought he’d changed enough for wine…but he also offered Nont wine the very first night they got together at Playboyy - and this was intention cause he himself was drinking brown liquor but gave Nont wine rather than beer (which is what Nant) likes. - he’s NEVER offered Nont beer. So it wasn’t due to a shift after Nont started acting differently than Nant around him. He inserted himself into the investigation and then started to lead the investigation from behind by pointing Nont in the direction he thinks he should go.

Where I lose confidence in this theory is in the motive. I doubt he would’ve killed Nant in a possessive rage the way Nuth might have - he’s too calculated & represses his emotions. Even with that bout of jealousy with Nont he didn’t push the issue, instead he revamped excused affection instead. Prom seems to be the type that finds a way to do what he wants no matter what others may have wanted. There’s a possible drug connection- through sell rather than through use. Again there’s the intones of the invisible force, the behind the scenes mover and I could very well see that being Prom. It seems like a lot of guys in Playboyys are on drugs but would Prom really need to push drugs if he’s the Host of the club? His need for it is what I question right now rather than his ability to push it.

There’s always a question for every answer and maybe that’s why I have two separate theories about Prom & don’t feel fully comfortable yet saying which I think is more correct.

NOBODY: There is obviously a possibly that there is no killer, that Nant wasn’t killed by another. There’s the possibility of suicide - Nant had been under a lot of extreme pressure and lack a good support system. Mental disorder (split personality) - this one is rather popular but I have trouble wrapping my brain around the photo of the twins cause it would mean dying his hair, taking a photo and then photoshopping two pics together…just feels like there’d have to be some level consciousness for that. Or Nant could b hiding out, on the run, from a debtor - considering he was supposedly on drugs and had a previous issue (with Soong) it’s possible.

PORSCHE: This is probably my loosest theory built mostly from the bias I have against Porsche. I don’t know what is but I don’t trust him, I don’t like him. But all his violent and brattiness could boil down to an inferiority complex rather than murder and I know that but he still makes the cut cause everything about him rubs me wrong and I wouldn’t mind him be the bad guy (def if it’s in the stead of Prom 😭)

[jillapril]

Now that I’ve watched the first episode of HotD S2, I have the feeling I have to organize my thought about the Alicent and that Cole… situationship.

1. First things first - she is writing letters to Rhaenyra, she is lighting a candle for Luke… She stills feels for her and wishes for a kind of reconciliation. Everyone knows about her feelings for Rhaenyra. Cole explains it to himself in the same way he explains his own story with Rhaenyra. It shows that he does not really know that much about Alicents true feelings. Aemond seems to see it way more clearly.

2. Alicent saying to Cole, that they cannot do it again, implies that this is NOT an affair that has been going on for long. (Which was my biggest fear.) The affair is new and she actually (thinks she) wants it to be a one-time thing.

3. No kisses, no signs of tenderness. The affair does not seem to be romantic.

4. Had the feeling she was hesitating to help him with his armor. Seems like she is conflicted about their roles and how much closeness she really wants here. And of course, she might have had the memory of helping Rhaenyra with her dress a long time ago.

5. Alicent rubbing her skin excessively in the bath tub makes me think she feels kind of „dirty“ on a deeper level. This might come from feeling very conflicted about having this new sexual thing going. Because it does not suit her idea of being an honorable woman / dowager? And not just that, she also causes a knight to break his vows (again.). It’s also possible that she still has a deeper problem with sexuality (as she experienced it to be something that men force upon women) - and now she feels dirty for having sex, maybe also for giving in to arousal, or maybe for using sex (though parts of her disgust it) as a relieve for some other repressed emotions.

So what about those sexual experiences… Alicent being on top both times implies that this whole affair has something to do with her being the one in control. Given that she fears she’s losing influence on her sons, her father has always had his own agenda, her maid was a spy, her husband is dead - it makes sense that she wants to have at least Cole still under control! So starting to get physical with him might result from a) feeling everything and everyone is slipping through her fingers, so she starts to strengthen her influence on Cole in the one way she knows as a power over men. Worked on Viserys, works in a way with Larys as well - so now she uses it on Cole. However, it looks like - and this is different to the formerly mentioned - she does get some pleasure out of this. Which leads to b) Alicent has just started to get in touch with her own sexuality and is kind of fascinated by this new experience. However, this does not necessarily mean that the pleasure she is experiencing has much to do with Criston Cole as a person or him being a man. Maybe this is more about Alicent learning something new about herself. Maybe this experience even could have had the power to open up her very closeted self in a good way, helping her to get in touch with her most suppressed feelings… but well. Sadly, as she was having sex now while her grandson was murdered, I guess sexuality will remain a completely contaminated field to her.

That all said, I think Alicole in episode 1 wasn’t the disaster I feared it would be! Of course it is not over yet, it still has the potential to really bother me. But for now, I think what actually bothered me the most was not the portrayal of Alicent, but hearing some casual viewers say that they were not surprised about Alicole at all. Like there had been any signs leading up to this other than them being a pretty woman and a pretty man - so of course they must be having sex??? I really dislike the heteronormative banality that Alicole is feeding.

However… I still recognize the Alicent I got to know in season 1. Thank god. And I am also still convinced that her heart belongs and always will belong to Rhaenyra. (Which obviously is also causing her permanent troubles inside and outside, but that’s the kind of drama I‘m here for. :)) So let’s see what happens next…

[fantasyinvader]

Part of the discourse, I believe, is rooted in Byleth being Schrodinger's Player Character. Who is Byleth supposed to be: their own character or an avatar for the player? Byleth's a silent protagonist, much a Link, and while we can't customize their appearance we can change their name and birthday. However, that birthdate is fake and Jeralt's journal gives Byleth's actual birthday separate from what the player gives them (unless the player puts in that date themselves). Likewise, it's also implied that whatever name we give Byleth isn't the name they were given at birth, Rhea's the only one who could actually give them their birth name.

In a way, the identity we assign Byleth is just whatever false identity Jeralt gives them.

The game makes Silver Snow the natural progression of Byleth's story, that Byleth would reject working with Edelgard and her allies at the end of White Clouds. The decisions that unlock Flower instead are framed as “changing the story” within the game itself. As the story is meant to progress, Byleth wouldn't abandon their teaching duties to go to Enbarr at Edelgard's request. Hell, Byleth gains a paralogue by have a support level with Rhea and loses it if they turn on her. Regardless of class taught Byleth being a teacher is shown to be good for them, allowing them to actually experience emotions, and at the end of every White Clouds Byleth's would turn their sword against Edelgard unless the player has them act out of character and do things that change the story. They go from a mercenary who cuts people down without feeling a thing, with Hopes making it clear they don't enjoy such a life, to someone who wishes they could peacefully solve things unless they side with Edelgard and abandon Byleth's character.

Rhea though Byleth was an empty vessel for Sothis, only to learn they were their own person. Yet players treat Byleth as an extension of themselves, their own empty vessel to shape Fodlan as they see fit while complaining you can't “betray” Dimitri like you can Edelgard (never mind the devs said she betrays you) or that Claude doesn't go after the Church. People talk about how your choices matter in Fodlan, but the first choice you get is simply which class to teach which includes two routes without any real variation to them, and the third class has it so that the player can either stick to the script or join the villains. What kind of sense does that really make if that first decision will lock me into supporting the Church over Edelgard before I get to know anyone or anything about the setting?

Instead, our choices only seem to matter when we go against the story and side with the people we were supposed to fight and in the process kill/exile the heroes. Despite the clues that indicate how out of character it is for Byleth to join Edelgard, how they regress as a person, this is held up as a good thing because it seemingly validates not Byleth's choice but that of the player's. They see Byleth not as a character, but as an extension of themselves and therefore want Byleth to fight the Church despite all of what Edelgard and TWSITD did during White Clouds because the player believes they are the bad guys. The devs even said that Flower was thematically tied to having different beliefs... in a world built to support Silver Snow's story. Even when Edelgard is shown to withhold information or spread lies to her allies, people still choose to believe her and think that's okay because this path was their decision.

From a Buddhist perspective, their “self” has ended up leading them astray, yet they believe their “self” should be celebrated because they misunderstood the setting and acted based not on what the story was telling them but what they believed instead. Going even further, this way of thinking is pretty apt for the Asura path. It's the path of the Agarthans.

[cosmicjoke]

Obviously you’re not Isayama so you can’t answer this 100% however, I am curious what you think the reasoning for his decision to never consider writing Levi as commander. It was Hange then Armin, Levi in my honest opinion would have made an exceptional commander as well (though I know he wouldn’t have wanted it). Maybe I answered my own question but nonetheless, what do you think?

I did talk about this once before, and if I ever find the post, I'll add it to this, haha.

Levi would and DID make an excellent commander, I agree. It was really Levi's leadership that allowed the alliance to win the final battle against Eren. Without Levi there to take over when Armin was taken out of commission, they would have all died.

But to answer your question, I think the reason Erwin didn't make Levi commander is because he knew it would have been almost impossible for Levi to consistently make calls that required him to sacrifice lives. We have to remember, Levi's first and greatest instinct is to protect people, to guard them and save them, whenever he can. I think Levi had to work extremely hard to press down that instinct in any given situation, and it weighs heavily on him whenever he has to do so. Like, for example, during the Female Titan arc, it's obvious Levi was extremely bothered by having to ignore all the soldiers behind he and his squad that were being slaughtered by Annie. He had to, in order for Erwin's plan to work, but it was hard for him, and that's why Levi kind of snaps at Erwin later for trying to thank him for his efforts, and tells him he should be thanking the soldiers that gave their lives, instead. It's also, I think, why Levi makes the threats he does to Annie to get her to come out of her titan, because he's upset about the soldiers that died in order to capture her, and upset that he couldn't save them. He sort of loses control of his emotions in that moment and makes a bit of a miscalculation as a result.

People always talk about Levi being this emotionless character, but it's the exact opposite. He's actually the most emotional character in AoT. He cares more than anyone, and feels the loss of each soldier more keenly than anyone.

We see this at various points throughout the story, just how deeply affected he is by the loss of life. It's why Levi works himself to exhaustion in Shinganshina trying to protect the new recruits, and why he orders them not to die. It's why he does the same in Liberio, ordering his soldiers not to die. It's why he says he's sorry to the soldiers in Shinganshina, when they're riding toward their death.

Levi can and will make decisions that cost lives if he thinks it's going to save more lives, but doing so goes against his very nature, to a deeper degree and level than anyone else. I think it's totally antithetical to who Levi is as a person, to have to stand by and let people die without trying to protect them with everything he has.

If he had been made commander, he would have had to engage in that sort of thing over and over, and I think Erwin knew Levi couldn't have handled that. And I think Hange knew it too, when she made Armin commander near the end. They both understood that Levi cares too much, and values life too much, and at some point, that would have interfered with his ability to properly lead. Levi is someone who's very much lead by his heart, more than his head. He's very emotionally driven. The decisions he makes are based in what he feels is the right thing to do, the morally correct thing to do, more than any sort of cold logic or efficiency. It's why I get annoyed, too, when people say Levi was willing to "compromise" his morals for Erwin. No, he wasn't. Levi never compromised his morals. He always did what he felt was right, even if he didn't know what the outcome or result would be. That's what his entire philosophy of "no regrets" is based on. Doing what he feels, in his heart, is the right thing, and not regretting it, even if the outcome is different than what he hoped for.

I think Erwin and Hange both passed over Levi to become commander because they knew, no matter what, Levi wasn't ever going to compromise what he felt was right, no matter the cause. They knew he wasn't capable of it, in the end. And they knew it would also be horrifically destructive to a person like Levi, to be placed in a position where he was expected to treat the lives of people more as tools than human beings. Levi couldn't do that. We see that plainly demonstrated in his inability to drag Erwin back to life. Levi wasn't able to set aside what he felt was right, even as, objectively, it seemed like the best and most logical choice to go against that feeling. Like I said, Levi acts with his heart more than his head. And a good commander, an efficient commander, an effective commander, can't do that. There needs to be a certain level of detachment.

Levi's never been able to be detached. He's never been able to divorce himself from the deep compassion and empathy he feels for people. He feels it even for people he doesn't really know, and isn't close to.

Basically, the simple answer is, Levi cares too much about people's lives to be a really great commander. He wouldn't be able to handle that job without slipping up eventually.

[dropthedemiurge]

Last Twilight Episode 10 Reaction

I wasn't even going to write my own posts of LT but this episode just delivered punch after punch! I couldn't help but comment, so–

I love to see Jimmy and Mark using their dramatic acting microexpressions attacks on my heart, i'm bleeding but I'm fascinated. Sea has grown a lot and acts so believable, I want to praise him. But damn, maybe it's because I actually remember Jimmy and Mark since Bad Buddy, the contrast is huge here. Jimmy also does that thing with the jaw that makes him look more manly and mature, none of the young and mischeivous Wai, in Vice Versa he also didn't reach this level of complexity, I think we all should bow to P'Aof & team for leading him.

I know I should be talking about Day who isn't crying while his family is devastated (he knew and was prepared and felt comfortable as long as he had Mork, they were not prepared) but I am biased... The way Night didn't even dare to touch Day when he wanted to comfort him at doctor office Т_Т And how later, at the dinner table he looked with such disbelief, and hesitantly started teasing Day as sibling again when Day reached out Т_т And how for months he felt he deserved to be silent, torn apart and uncomfortable, yelled at and judged for not taking care of his brother properly.

Noo, my heart!

But also Day and Mork, of course, the way Day bravely said "The last thing I saw in my life was his face", and Mork said "I'm sorry" and I can understand the mom going "you crossed over all lines with ny son, get out of my house", and it's probably huge red HR violation but Jimmy's big teary eyes aaaaah how could she not fold? I saw some comments on tumblr about the show not calling out her being abusive and everything, but I strongly disagree and I think it all makes sense. The strong single mom, the asian family, the unwanted oppression and self-misery that finally cracked during Christmas dinner – I could probably write my view on this in another post but who cares.

Dhskajvs I love how Porjai and Night are "patpraning" Mork and Day, like they are setting up plans to look like accidents just for two undestined lovebirds to be able to sneak out on a date from the parent who shouldn't know about it, very PatPran behavior xD Only friends are the one making it work xD

That's the face of a man giggling because he just declared himself a father and a future husband on his own (oh their mom is going to have a heart attack but who cares). "That's my child" - look at the sky, this night is so freaking green~ I'd say the real winner of that marathon was Night, Day maybe got a medal and a boyfriend but Night got a girl and a kid! xD His confidence is hot, but also I wouldn't hesitate a second as well if I saw Porjai available to be loved, I mean look at her! What a treasure.

I can't believe I was so on board and rooting for a hetero couple in a BL since the very first second but they are still going too damn strong. I love them. I shall draw a fanart.

Omg, pop-up books shout-out in a BL! First time seeing this. Okay, Day and Mork are freaking cute, I usually lose interest when characters start dating but they are so damn adorable and in their happy bubble here! Smiling and goofy Jimmy is all I need in this economy.

Master Aon is slaying on a dance floor, this actor is honestly stealing the show and I love it for him... I like how he shows being advanced and comfortable as visually impaired person in relationship with a girl that can see, the calling out and gestures and the comfort.

P'Aof and his damn heartwarming community scenes, first with MLC and now here, I knew what I walked in and still wasn't prepared for all the EmOtiOns<3

Promoting Oishii as one of the color paints is very creative but all it makes me think of is a VERY relatable situation with actual artists who put tea cup and water for paint on the same table... Yeah xD

Also, sniff kisses are so cute, fight me, westerns.

Lmao, Day even drew Jimmy's poor 5 o'clock shade above the lips fvsjakjahk I wonder which one of the staffs drew it, or was it actually Sea? No matter what, I bet this person had a lot of fun anyway :D

Okay, THERE ARE MORE SCENES THAT MAKE ME ALMOST CRY Poor Night, he was so unloved and judged in this family for a year, I will actually fight everyone to give him his own special beef stew.

He was going to distance himself out of guilt as a self punishment and feelings of 'the hero is here, the villain should vanish' supported by both people closest to him, but Day insisted he's a family and he should stay, reminding their mother of it… Oh no. So many feelings.

Again, it deserves another post. Where I talk about how Night feels like such a man, a protective adult who changed and is able and actively wants to take care of dear people, but who looks and feels like a small punished kid in his own family house. Day too, btw, but he hasn't found as much confidence as he struggles with blindness as well.

But I loved that family having fun scene. I loved it so much. That family trying out cake eating blindly was so nice, oozing of happiness. The curse of misery deserves to be broken, and the kids are the one breaking it, as usual. Mother should remember what's really important - her and her kids happiness, not control that's led by fear. But it's not easy. This is why this scene is so important, and filled with happy and relieved tears. Tbh I didn't feel like P'Aof glossed over the mother-son conflict, it's just that the narration feels... I don't wanna say more asian, it might be different from the sort of justice/revenge what some of the people wanted to see. I understand it and it hits home.

Oh I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, P'AOF!

Something tells me in a very loud way that this operation won't go well, look at Sea's face! The scene just screams "I still can't see anything". It would be such a P'Aof type of teaser as well, give hope and then trick into the opposite. I can't imagine him actually getting his vision cured. I'll fight myself if that's what actually happens in the next episode. It's a great way to show that you should just keep enooying life instead of regretting the cure.

[atopcat]

What do you think of Emma's opinion on Rhaenicent?

Has Emma commented on Rhaenicent? I haven’t seen anything in regard to this particular ship one way or the other.

It doesn’t matter anyway, actors can ship what they want, my only hope is that it doesn’t come at the expense of their characters. For Emma I doubt this would even be a problem as Rhaenyra is more popular than Rhaenicent, the exact opposite of Olivia’s situation where she has to deal with the fact Rhaenicent is more popular than Alicent.

I honestly love how much Emma loves Rhaenyra, they respect her strengths and tragedy, the writers may treat her with disdain but Emma doesn’t. This is highlighted perfectly by the contrast in Ryan’s dismissive attitude towards Luke compared to Emma expressing Rhaenyra’s pain in such a profound manner people still quote it.

Ryan’s treating Luke’s death as nothing more than a minor inconvenience, something Rhaenyra will simply get over to maintain the idea “there’s still hope” for Rhaenicent. Emma’s doing the exact opposite, emphasising Rhaenyra has never felt this level of indescribable pain before, not even after losing both parents and Harwin. They perfectly articulate how “losing Luke tells her she knows nothing about grief” because their priority is Rhaenyra, not a fabricated ship which only exists on account of HBO not wanting an openly bisexual leading lady who would be romantically involved with a black woman.

So unlike Olivia who is more than happy to throw the entirety of Team Green under the bus to continue the illusion that Alicent’s no.1 priority will always be Rhaenyra, Emma knows there isn’t a universe in existence where Rhaenyra would abandon her family for the woman who stole her throne. I can also see why Olivia’s pushing for a Rhaenicent reunion at the end of Season 2, but I honestly don’t see Emma being in favour of this as it does absolutely nothing for Rhaenyra.

Who knows, maybe Emma does like Rhaenicent or maybe with the introduction of Sabitha Vypren and Black Ally they’re hoping Rhaenyra gets a brand new love interest all together. Either way I don’t think their opinion was even considered because Rhaenicent 2.0 isn’t for Rhaenyra and Team Black, hell you can even argue it’s not for Alicent and Team Green either. It’s solely to continue Ryan’s fanfiction, which is coming at the expense of good writing, and for Olivia to hold onto fan support by warping Alicent into a shell of a woman who has no personality outside of secretly longing for the woman who orders the killing of her grandson.

To be clear I’m not criticising Olivia for liking Rhaenicent, my criticism is with her prioritising it over Alicent.

It just seems to me when you compare and contrast the Rhaenicent they’re hoping for in Season 2 to Emma’s emotional insight into Rhaenyra’s actual character they are on opposing ends. Ryan isn’t able to quite grasp the longterm repercussions of Luke’s death whilst Emma is fully aware that any shred of affection Rhaenyra may have still held for her stepmother died with her beloved son.

[3nigm4art]

An informal essay/rant on Samurai Jack S5

I love Samurai Jack, for the most part. But my biggest gripe is how season 5 turned out.

Despite the artistic achievement of season 5, the main issue was how rushed it was. With only 10 episodes and still having to deal with the 50-year time skip, many characters feel underdeveloped.

Take Jack as an example. Jack's change was the most drastic yet resolved the quickest. 50 years of a battle with no end in sight is incomprehensible to a normal person, and winning seems impossible at this point for Jack. Understandably, depression, guilt and anxiety have taken over Jack, especially after he lost his magic sword. The voices in his head and the vision of the phantom samurai are evidence of his mental decay. But as a mental health struggler of many years, it feels like Jack's mental struggle should have been way past that stage. Though it should be said that everyone experiences these mental health struggles differently, it just felt less realistic as Jack's descent was not documented well enough. Depending on when his descent started, it could have very different results. Many things could happen in 50 years that would affect a person's outlook in life. It could be total despair: Jack finds no way of continuing and believes that he has completely failed. It could be dutifully depressed: Jack no longer considers himself righteous but still carries on out of habit. It could be blind optimism: despite losing the magic sword, Jack thinks, "Hey, I have fought for 40+ years. I could still do this!" Are these outcomes sound? No! Because there is no development for Jack to prove that they are sound. It also doesn't help that Jack's characterisation is so consistent in the first 4 seasons that jumping from level 1 to 100 in depression for Jack seems improbable and leaves the audience to imagine what happened. After all, depression and anxiety often do not originate from a singular event and build up gradually. Sure, I can buy that Jack is depressed, but I cannot buy that it can be resolved within 7 episodes, with half of that time occupied by Ashi's arc.

Speaking of Ashi's arc, her arc demanded the most time yet is the most unrefined. Her character has simply bitten off more than it could chew for 10 episodes. Within season 5, she went from being a daughter of Aku to an ally of Jack to Jack's lover. Each of these changes can be at least 10 episodes on its own. Especially when she has to undo 20+ years of conditioning, and completely acknowledging that she is on the wrong side of the war is bound to take a toll on her perception of reality. Yet it was resolved as quickly as 6 episodes, thanks to finding out, "Wow, Jack is actually a good guy and helped so many people!" This part of the arc was resolved because of Jack. So naturally, she becomes Jack's ally and then becomes Jack's lover. There is a terrifying idea that lurks in Ashi as one comes to realise that her entire personality revolves around Jack. In other words, if you remove Jack from Ashi's life, she becomes nothing. It is also deeply worrying that Ashi lacks emotional maturity and development as she "falls in love" with a man she has only met for maybe a week (not to say Jack is not also immature here). Her lack of independent development makes her character flimsy and frankly disturbing. She is literally made to become Jack's love interest. There is some irony in one of her final lines in the show; she says, "Without Aku, I would have never existed" when on a meta-fictional level, she would not have existed without Jack.

Character development is crucial in crafting the themes of a story. The above tackled the lack of character development leading to weak characters, but there is one thing that will determine the legacy of the story, the ending. Though it is often commented how Samurai Jack's ending was unfulfilling, it is not true that unfulfilling endings are bad. (Minor spoilers for True Detective season 1) True Detective season 1 did not end in a fulfilling manner, as it did not resolve all of the mysteries it brought up. That wasn't a huge issue as it complied with the genre of strange fiction and the theme of the world being a strange and inexplicable place that evokes more mysteries than it explains. Samurai Jack's ending and, thus, the conclusion to Jack's arc promotes the idea that overcoming one's weakness, sacrificing for the greater good, and bringing justice will not bring you the happiness you deserve... Which does not make sense relative to Jack's character development and characterisation. Jack is often characterised as a selfless hero and a bringer of hope. And the people benefit greatly from his aid. The only person who often does not benefit from this is Jack himself, who often forsakes his opportunity to return to the past in favour of saving the people in need. The show promises that Jack will find peace and happiness when he fulfils his destiny of defeating Aku. And with the classic hero's journey-type story Samurai Jack has, the show rips it apart at the very last moment, with no warning whatsoever. It wasn't a comment on the genre, as it did not deepen its themes. If one wants to turn Samurai Jack into a "we don't always get what we deserve" (please don't) story, then make fate truly cruel and unkind and provide Jack with no divine help in the story. Again, with the irony of Jack's tea being unbalanced, the show is unbalanced, too, as it rewards a suffering protagonist with more sadness and suffering at the end of his story.

Despite what this blog is about (it's art, by the way), art and aesthetics are not everything. Samurai Jack as a whole is beautiful aesthetically, but the rushed story and an unfulfilling legacy feel like a shame. Characters did not have the time to grow in complexity or realism, which made the audience feel disconnected from the characters. I wished I could see Ashi grow and develop into something more than "Jack's love interest". Or they could even develop into something that is not romantic, such as a mentor and apprentice story, which could be as, if not more, interesting. Having more refined characters creates a more refined theme that, if done right, can stir the right emotions in the audience that impact them for a lifetime.

Samurai Jack season 5 had a lot of potential but just couldn't deliver.

[andorerso]

sissi hello!! in regards to the post about ocs, i would LOVE to hear more about dani and elijah 💜 (partly bc i love both of those names so so much, always have, and that intrigues me instantly).

hope you're having a wonderful day!

rolling up almost two months later like hiiiiii <3 sorry it took me so long to answer ahfgdchg

but first of all, thank you for asking because I love talking about them, second of all, I'm so happy you like the names because I do too 🥰 well obviously, I wouldn't have chosen them otherwise, but I'm very particular about names and they have to feel right, and this was one of those instances when I almost instantly knew their names, like it was just fate. meant to be. and I think they sound nice together!! anyway, I'll stop ranting about names now

so, the story is urban fantasy, and their tropes are slowburn, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, battle couple, codependency, angstttttt, two sides of the same coin, flirty & awkward, snarky & serious, impulsive & rational, short-tempered & calm

Dani (full name Danielle Preston but she hates being called Danielle) is our leading lady, she's in her mid-20s, and she's the flirty, snarky, impulsive, short-tempered side of the two. she's always cracking a joke, which is mostly a self-defense mechanism, and tends to cover up real feelings with humor, sex and booze. I have such a soft spot for characters who'd rather cut open a vein than show weakness or vulnerability in front of someone, but still deeply care about people and are intensely loyal if you earn it, so she's kinda that archetype. she'd literally burn down a whole city for someone she loves but will never actually say the words. also she's bisexual like almost all my MCs

here's kind of how I imagine her (made with this picrew)

and Elijah is the more level-headed, serious, all business no fun counterpart to Dani's generally chaotic behavior. he's a couple hundred years old, and not human, but he looks to be in his early 30s. he's very matter-of-fact, goal-oriented, and pragmatic, but he's also very kind to those who deserve it, and can be surprisingly intense and passionate when he actually lets himself feel it (which is not very often, at least not at first). he has a very strong sense of justice, but he kind of follows his own moral code, so he definitely falls into the morally grey category (Dani kind of does too, but Elijah even more so)

here's a picrew for him too

as for their relationship, it starts as kind of an unwilling partnership and they clash a lot at the beginning because of their different approaches and worldviews, but they eventually form a friendship. Elijah's kind of drawn to her/fascinated by her from the start, because she's so different from him but has a lot of the qualities he admires/wishes he had too. Dani takes a bit longer mostly because she's better at lying to herself lmao. but there's an attraction of sort from the beginning. it's a difficult ride, mostly because they're both stubborn idiots who tend to repress their emotions, just in different ways. she's lost people and is afraid to lose more, and he's just not sure he knows how to allow himself to want things and be a functioning human person, so neither wants a relationship and they're both violently trying to deny any feelings. but the feelings are definitely there. like they're not together but they're deeply devoted but they will never admit it but there's no one else who could possibly compare. those kinda vibes, you know?

some other tidbits/details that I love about them: she loves to antagonize him (mostly in a teasing way) and he's so offended/annoyed at first until he realizes it's her love language. then the annoyance turns into fond exasperation. she's pretty much the only one who can make him genuinely smile and laugh, in fact sometimes he's the only one who actually finds her funny at all lmao (she definitely overdoes it sometimes but he finds it charming). she's a bit of a romantic deep down, and he's very intensely devoted once he commits, so it's the kind of relationship she always secretly wanted but never thought could have. and he's the only person she will tolerate calling her Danielle (it's kind of a turn-on from him).

anyway, I could go on but it's gonna get long very quickly, so this is just the basics. but I love talking about them and I'm always open to more specific questions from anyone <3

also here's a moodboard too because why not

[kamigui]

A fanfic idea I'd like to dedicate to you

I wanted to share this idea I have with you because I saw that beautiful animation you made of your OC Rubee and Wally with that scene of the Hunt vs Hunted AU that nonomives made and the other AUs incorporated in it. I'm actually currently writing a fanfic inspired by that AU with plans to dedicate it to nonomives (with their permission), and I just absolutely live for the angst and redemption arcs. Your incredible art really gave me the inspiration I needed to start working on it.

I'm actually in my lovers-turned-enemies trope right now, and my mind began racing with just this concept of (what if) Rubee actually surviving the Hunt vs Hunted scenario and was accidentally turned, but somehow the effect was so diluted it didn't necessarily destroy her mind and make her feral, but instead caused her to slowly start losing her mind, where any memories of Wally were tampered with or discarded and whatever horrors she might have witnessed were misplaced onto Wally?

(Because in reality, he'd never actually hurt her, she just convinced herself he did because there's so many pieces missing in her brain she had to just fill them in herself. And then there's the assumption Wally accidentally committed genocide as a response to his grief of losing Rubee, therefore, she's more convinced that he just has to be evil. She obviously doesn't know the true reason, only knowing that he had harmed a lot of people) (I'm thinking this affliction could potentially turn her immortal, or at least, very difficult to kill and inhumanely strong; but she could probably still get hurt).

Because of this, any positive feelings for him were replaced with disgust and hatred, where she felt her only response is to pretty much destroy him so he didn't hurt anyone else. But, it's conflicting because deep inside her soul she's hesitant, scared, and longing for the security/safety he provided her in the past, before she lost her memories /and before he thought she was dead/. 

Anyway, there was a scene playing in my mind where she managed to get to him, like, actions set in motion just ready to pierce his heart. And Wally's just looking up at her, not really fighting back, but holding her off, eyes just pitiful and sad and desperate; because "How is she alive-?".

He's in disbelief, emotions torn between sadness, anger, and overwhelming love. And she's trying to kill him, not realizing that she's crying and struggling to actually finish him off. Because, yes, she has to kill him so no one suffers like she did--but also, no, because that part of her that 'died' that night still clings to hope and love. 

I think Wally would immediately know that she's affected by his blood, since according to nonomives, people who are closer to Wally's blood go insane and feral, depending on the level of potency the person was dosed with. I really like this concept, because that could potentially lead to the rarest opportunity where someone hasn't been completely overcome by his affliction. Maybe Rubee was just extremely strong willed in mind and spirit, so her body (could have) managed to refrain from completely turning into a vampire zombie? That tiny, sliver of hope motivates Wally to figure out some sort of 'cure' for Rubee, but we have no idea what the implications of that would do.

(Could she die due to having lived so long and just turn into dust? Would she end up suffering from the pain and physical damage she's received all these years, finally catching up to her? Is there the chance she'll just return back to him? We don't really know. Too many endings, no solid answers.)

//Anyway, feel free to just yeet this in the trash if you want. Ha ha ha, I'm just dumb and rambling... I don't want to interject or impede on your work, or self-insert your OC into anything. I'd hate to misinterpret the characters. But I just really wanted to share this idea and hope you'd at least enjoy it. If you do approve and gave me permission to pursue this, I would be more than happy to dedicate a fanfiction on the topic because I just think it's *chefs kiss*

//I supposed, this is also my way of asking if it's alright with you for me to pursue this idea with your OC?

[willemdafinky]

I have completed Spider-Man 2 twice now and I have very conflicting feelings on the game’s story, mostly towards its Venom/Symbiote storyline. On my first playthrough my problem was how little screen time and characterization Venom had in the story despite all the build up and prioritizing him over anything else and while I still have a problem with that aspect of the story, upon my second playthrough I realized that my real biggest issue with the narrative is Peter’s time in the black suit and being corrupted by the Symbiote. I felt it was rushed and forced but I didn’t have any deeper and meaningful critiques of it…that is until I looked back on other adaptations of the Black Suit storyline and a review of Spider-Man 2 by Youtuber Dorito God which I recommend watching that made it click as to why Peter and the Black Suit doesn’t work.

Insomniac's Peter Parker is the nicest version of the character.

An aspect of Peter Parker that I feel has been downplayed in many adaptations is that he was, at many points, a jerk. He had an incredibly short temper, tends to be cocky for the worst, and outright selfish at points. This does not inherently mean he was unlikable, I actually believe this makes him more interesting and even sympathetic. His negative traits aren’t there just because but are present of numerous factors, most of them because of his double life as Spider-Man. The sheer responsibility that is required of being Spider-Man would naturally cause high level of stress which as we all know can easily lead into losing your cool: not to mention other elements such as J Jonah Jameson’s constant slander of his name which influenced his public perception amongst New York, the grief and guilt of losing loved ones such as Uncle Ben, his struggles of keeping good relationships due to wanting to keep his identity a secret out of fear of his loved ones getting hurt, and how this all started when he was 16 it is completely understandable that Peter can be frankly a jerk.

I don’t think Peter Parker’s defining characteristic is a jerkass who underneath is a good person but I feel that his jerkiness is an important factor of the character that doesn’t get much attention in adaptations outside of Peter B Parker in the Spider-Verse movies. That being said, I would be arguing in bad faith if I said this has been completely left out of Spider-Man adaptations: Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man trilogy, The Amazing Spider-Man duology, and even the MCU have this aspect of Peter’s personality intact. In the Raimi Trilogy Peter is shown to be a very flawed boyfriend to Mary Jane with Spider-Man 3 being the most prominent example where he just doesn’t understand Mary Jane’s own struggles and subconsciously brushes them off not just because of his own struggles but also from the outright celebration he is getting from New York as Spider-Man. The Amazing Spider-Man duology gave Peter a new motivation for becoming Spider-Man as originally purely being revenge only to later take up the role of hero, not to mention also breaking a dying man’s promise of staying away from Gwen. The MCU had Peter initially refuse to help Norman and the other inter dimensional visitors despite the fact that it was his fault they were brought to the MCU and it’s only because of Aunt May that he does try to help.

Now, I have to ask a question: can you honestly name a scene with Insomniac’s Peter where he has any of these traits? I genuinely can’t think of one. Spider-Man 2 tries with the boss fight against Scream where while under the Symbiote, Mary Jane tells Peter how much he made her feel like she was nothing more than emotional support for his struggles while not doing anything for her and I don’t think that lines up with how Peter was written in the game. Peter is very supportive of Mary Jane throughout the story for her job and does listen to her when she vents about it so this interaction where the story suggests otherwise in the Scream boss fight doesn’t work for me. Peter in these games is just a really nice guy, does this mean he doesn’t have moments where he crosses his limit? No of course not, the climax against Otto disproves but that’s more of an example of the “pissing off the good guy is a bad move” trope than Peter’s more abrasive side. I don’t think this inherently means that Insomniac Peter is a bad character, I very much liked him in the first game and Miles Morales after and one of my other favorite versions of the character is the one from the 90s cartoon who is also a kinder interpretation of Peter Parker. So what is my problem?

I don’t think this overly nice version of Peter Parker works with the Black Suit story. Ever since the 90s cartoon, every version of the Black Suit story has the Symbiote amplifies Peter’s more negatives traits (most notably his temper) and we’ve established that Peter doesn’t have of any these traits so seeing him lash out at other characters and being more aggressive feels extremely out of character and not in the way that I think the writers intended.

Okay so, the amplification of negative emotions doesn’t work but maybe they went through a different approach. Maybe in this version the Symbiote instead brings out the host’s intrusive thoughts and inner frustrations, like they did with Mary Jane. The story suggests this: first in the Spider-Men fight where Peter hints that he has a sense of insecurity in his role as Spider-Man because of how good Miles is in the role, that he might not be needed anymore and how the Symbiote is the only way he could keep and be greater. Second when Miles and Martin Li go into Peter’s subconscious it is outward stated that Peter supposedly may secretly want to kill his foes just so he could end the cycle, which the Symbiote feeds on. This all sounds great, what’s the problem?

Neither of these are even hinted at beforehand. Peter never shows any resentment towards Miles, not helped by how little screen presence Miles has in the story but that’s its own can of worms, and there is nothing to suggest that Peter even entertained the idea of defeating his rogues gallery permanently. So there is nothing in this story that gives any reason as to why Peter acts the way he does while under the Symbiote. Now this might sound weird for me to say since “isn’t that what the Symbiote does” but hear me out:

Harry does not act anywhere similar to Peter when he is using the Symbiote. His personality is the same which gives the idea that perhaps in this continuity the Symbiote might not have the same negative energy it does in most adaptations and is more like in the original comics where its only negative thing is that it takes control over the host while they’re asleep. But I don’t think that was ever the intention, it always felt like that the Symbiote is supposed to be what it usually is in most adaptations. So why was Peter affected by it but Harry wasn't?

There’s also the problem that Peter himself never has the big moment of realizing what the Symbiote is doing to him, he doesn’t have his own self reflection. Compare to other adaptations:

•The 90s cartoon: He almost kills Shocker after the latter had already given up and even after he stops, the Symbiote still tries to kill Shocker.

•Spider-Man 3: Him slapping Mary Jane is the moment where Peter finally sees that he had changed for the worst.

•The Spectacular Spider-Man: Getting called out by Flash Thompson for how he’s been treating his friend is what plants the doubts in Peter’s head that something might be wrong with the Symbiote which only gets confirmed when it tries to convince him that they don’t need anyone.

In Spider-Man 2, we don’t get that. I don’t consider Miles telling Peter that the Symbiote is changing him to be a moment of self realization, it doesn’t work for me. I never got the idea that in this game Peter did something so awful, an action that he wouldn’t act out doing, that would break him free from the hold the Symbiote hivemind has on him and to be better. I don’t get that.

Combine all that and you have what has ended up being one of my least favorite versions of the Black Suit storyline, even more than Spider-Man 3. Note that I hate Spider-Man 3, it’s my least favorite of the Spider-Man movies not counting the Sonyverse movies, but with that I can see how it could work with that version of Peter. Spider-Man 2’s version of the story doesn’t work fundamentally to me because of their Peter unless you change Peter’s characterization, the narrative or how the Symbiote works.