#but a) breaking down the smaller stuff is something you can do at literally any time and without external resources

[musical-chick-13]

Thank you forntalking about fandom misogyny, I learned a lot and have actually started addressing and working on internal biases I had against female characters.

This was such a lovely ask to receive, thank you so much!!

I'm always happy to be any kind of springboard for discussions about new ideas (directly or not). And I learn a lot from these discussions, too! I'm definitely not perfect, and I still have work to do on dismantling internal biases of varying kinds.

And, yes, this isn't the only manifestation of misogyny that exists. It isn't the only conversation that we should be having. And it's not the same thing as something like the wage gap or discussions of irl domestic violence. I talk about this a lot because...well, this is the fandom website. We all know how impactful fictional characters can be. And if fiction can be a forum for discussing and dismantling some of the ideas behind or in conjunction with misogyny, then I am happy to be a part of that, where applicable.

At the end of the day, fandom should be (and most of the time is!!) fun. But the sad reality of structural oppression (which includes more things than just misogyny--racism, ableism, transphobia, just to name a few), is that it permeates all facets of life. Which, sadly, includes fun things and hobbies.

I don't think Doing Fandom should be a constant process of Evaluating Oppression and Making Statements (we have political activism for a reason). But I DO think overall people (and I, as always, am including myself in here, because, again, I am one person, and, by virtue of being a person, am still going to have some faults and disconnects and things I don't know) would benefit from asking how various types of bigotry and discrimination show up on both a bigger social level and a smaller personal level. And since one of the most significant "smaller personal" activities we engage with is our hobbies...well, again, I think that's a valuable context to consider these things sometimes. Our hobbies are part of us. To consider how our ideology or things we've internalized might interact with them occasionally seems a logical step for me.

ANYWAY, I think I have talked enough in this answer, but thank you so, so much for being so nice, for being willing to evaluate different parts of your life (which is not always easy), and for...just caring about this in the first place!!

I hope you have a lovely day, anon. 😊

[obeymeluv]

Being Clever with the Fae (Malleus x Reader, Lilia x Reader, Sebek x Reader)

Pre-established relationship implied. You tell the Diasomnia boys that your world planned for ways to outsmart faes. You pull your trick but you're not sure who won.

Warning: Pepaw Bat's gets a little spicy so be careful.

I'm taking liberties with Sebek's part because he's a neutral for me and I don't know that much about him.

You and Malleus had talked about fae folklore more than once. He was delighted to know fae had something of a presence in your world but was wildly horrified at the misinformation. Out of everything you told him, only a handful were correct:

Don't give your name unless you trust that fae because names have power

Iron will hurt some fae but not all. Iron is more harmful to nocturnal fae than day fae.

Being rude to fae may be the end of you altogether

Partaking in fae food means you open yourself up for a wager

Yes, fae like to play tricks. Expect them and be wary.

Stepping into a fairy circle will summon the fairy who made it.

Just about everything else was wrong. That's why he and Lilia were teaching you what not to do if you came upon the various fae in Twisted Wonderland. Thus far you'd only managed to memorize what herbs kept smaller creatures at bay and how to curry the favor of the various faeries that helped out at NRC. Your current assignment from Lilia was filling out a map of different fae territories and classifying them as 'safe' for humans or 'unsafe'. Each territory had a tree they would love to craft from or loathed to be near and you were expected to know that, too.

Strange stuff but apparently it was important.

They liked to break up the bigger chunks of information with smaller, digestible things like etiquette so it felt more manageable. Malleus was currently instructing you on how to part from a fae in a formal setting as to not incur their wrath.

"Again, Child of Man," he's bowed down until eye level with you, one hand holding yours.

"Light shake, eye contact, nod, slide foot back, squeeze the hand, turn." he's parroting your motions until you turn away. He, instead, draws himself to his full height and observes as you pretend to walk away.

"Excellent," he nods. "But ensure you don't slouch while leaving. It will make some feel as if you don't hold them in high regard."

"That's so--" you roll your eyes. He simply lifts his brow as if to question your mild frustration. You puff your cheeks out and he laughs.

"We can be a bit particular." he agrees.

"To a fault." you smirk.

"Oh?" he's intrigued, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah," you smile. "In my world the fae were known for being literal with their word so you always had to keep something clever in reserve."

"Do tell," Malleus' grin goes from practiced and polite to genuine. A hint of fang shows.

"It's kind of specific though. Depends on that old joke about fae wanting to come for the first born."

"That's not really a joke," Malleus crossed his arms. You can't tell if he's offended or not. "We like the younglings. We're always looking to bring more around to the fae ways. In fact, fae make fantastic guardians because--"

He had a lot to say and you felt the beginnings of a lecture creep up. In some way you felt like you were in trouble. To save yourself, you said, "Just pretend. Then I can show you what we do."

Malleus pretended to make a deal with you. It looked a bit intimidating and official with the magic pulsing in the rickety floorboards of Ramshackle. They were groaning. Shadows danced along his face as pieces of his signature thorned briar wove around your joined hands. "In exchange for the repairs around Ramshackle, you will give your firstborn to me."

You pull him in, his green eyes searching curiously for any hint of what's to come. "Sure! How soon do you want to start working on that? Or do you want to wait a little while?"

All at once the floorboards fell quite. The hum of magic died with a rattle that broke the briar into tiny pieces. A few fell at your feet, the others shooting off into various directions.

Oh. Did he not understand? You thought it was clever! Maybe he was too sheltered to--

His laugh is kind of a snort at first but then you hear it honest and lilting. The hand holding yours slides up your arm and snakes around your waist. You're lifted until your hands find purchase on his shoulders and your legs wrap around whatever they reach. Your heart goes from your chest to your throat when his gloved hands slide down to your thighs as he walks you to your sad couch.

"Now is fine," he's careful to hold his weight above you, silky hair spilling around you and tickling your cheeks. His eyes are bright and boyish, a deadly compliment to his kissable lips.

Well, that technically backfired but if this were a real situation you'd make out just fine because he'd chosen to make out with you instead of curse you.

------ ----- ----- ----

Lilia wanted to focus on physical protection as much as written knowledge when it came to handling fae. You still couldn't wrap your head around the idea of him being a general but he had old photos, a weird mask, and a massive magearm to prove it. You'd picked up quite a few self-defense moves and practiced them regularly. He wanted them to be second nature to you. So here you are, in a designated training room within Diasomnia.

"You just want to cuddle me," you teased, in the familiar position of him being behind you with an arm around your neck. One elbow was planted in your shoulder, the other clasping it at the forearm to make a little prison for you. He gave a reprimanding squeeze, ever mindful of the pressure since you were fully human. Lilia gave a huffy laugh, trying to relax his smile into something more stern as he wove his fingers into your hair. You flinched at the tug and slapped his arm lightly.

"Focus," he couldn't deny himself the simple pleasure of whispering into your ear. If you asked him, it was to throw you off balance and distract you. "What could you do now?"

You thought about just leaning back into him, pressing against him, but you knew that wasn't what he meant. Capitalizing on this moment of closeness, the stillness, to huck him over your shoulder and into the floor crossed your mind but then you'd have to give him a back rub later.

Not that you minded that, either.

"We could make a deal," you leaned back to whisper in his ear even though it hurt your neck a little. You could tell by the way his bangs fluttered that he'd jerked in surprise. Was that a little pink on his cheeks? Before you could nip his pointed ear, Lilia leaned you forward and took his elbow off your shoulder, opting to hold you in a bearhug instead.

"Acceptable in this situation," he managed, clearing his throat when his voice cracked a little. "Although this exercise is supposed to be combat related."

"So make the terms. I can't negotiate a deal that doesn't exist." you try to break his hold, shimmying your shoulders and sliding your feet to see if you could slip away. He lifts you off the ground with an ease that doesn't seem possible with his short, lithe body. You hang there against him as he thinks.

"Your life for that of your firstborn."

A bit dark, wasn't it? Kind of rude, really, you thought. But, your train of thought continued to ramble, he did find Silver somewhere so it didn't seem too unusual that he'd want a kid. Either that, or he was messing with you because you told him that whisking away kids was something fae were known for in your world.

"You can't have a firstborn with your clothes on." you joke.

"That's not true because I found Silver with my--" Lilia drops you when he realizes what you've said. You weren't expecting him to drop you and didn't catch yourself, hissing as you land on your knees. Before you can start complaining or poke fun at him for being an old man he's locked the door. You're bowled over as he rushes over to you, pinning you on your back as he peppers kisses along your throat and collarbone.

He's several bites in and you’re halfway undressed when you think you hear a knock at the door. Lilia begrudgingly peels himself off of you, licking blood from the corner of his lips.

"Father? Are we not going to train today?"

"M'fraid not, my boy," Lilia turns his attention back to you, opening your legs to slip between them. "But you'll be getting a new sparring partner in about nine months."

His red eyes are glowing. They're absolutely beguiling.

"Do they come with therapy?” he hears Silver mumble as you look up at him through your lashes.

He pounces on you again. It was a brilliant, filthy tactic. He's not exactly mad about it. You've earned favor with one fae, at least, and he will protect you from the others.

----- ----- --- ---

Sebek is a hard worker. He's a product of his environment; he has Baur's straightforwardness, Lilia's dedicated regimens, and his mother's impressive teeth and jaw strength. Lilia thought the best way for you to learn some of the self-defense tactics was to fight someone your size.

Sort of. Sebek seemed to be the better choice since Silver was too sleepy to be a constant threat. And, in Lilia's mind, you should have an easier time fighting a half-fae versus a full fae.

You never noticed how muscular Sebek was until you were under him. He's got corded arms and you can see the muscles of his shoulders flexing under the Diasomnia shirt he chose for the exercise.

You've never seen him in casual clothes! He actually looks very nice. Not as buff as Jack but sturdy in his own way; his chest is broader than you imagined. A solid man.

More than capable of being Malleus' body guard.

You groan as he knocks the air out of you a little. He's on top of you, pressed into your back. He's got one foot braced against the floor, leaning his weight into you. Your arms are pinned at your side courtesy of the one he's snaked underneath you.

When did he flip you over? Asshole, you scrunch your nose in frustration as your cheeks begin to burn. He's an asshole that means well and won't go easy on you, though. He makes sure you learn. You try to inch out from beneath him but he angles his shoulder down and grabs his own wrist, dragging you back to him.

"You're supposed to do something in this situation!" he grumps, "You know how to break this hold!"

You do, but he's heavy and it probably wouldn't work. And he's had a literal lifetime of training versus your handful of months. You've tangled your legs together and used his half-lean to put him on his back. Your kicking like a tipped-over bug and almost free when you remember that his fae half is crocodilian and you might have triggered his death roll tendency.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Sebek's pupils change, the dark of his eye slitting and boring into you. His throat strains like he's growling but you don't hear anything. It trembles against the back of your neck and you're reminded in that moment of just how much bigger he is than you.

How he folds around you and encompasses you.

He opens his mouth, teeth glinting and sharp. "You've bested me," you admit, swallowing thickly as his teeth hover near your shoulder. "Make your deal."

You somehow turn yourself around in his unrelenting squeeze.

Sebek huffs as if he's insulted and you swear you see his teeth dull. His pupils begin to fill out. He's usually loathe to acknowledge his human side, as he'd much rather be full fae, but it serves him in this instance. "I'm not a true fae. Such a thing wouldn't work on me!"

"You have to pretend! Lilia's teaching me how to deal with the fae! You just won't hurt me as much. Maybe." you dare to flash that teasing grin at him and Sebek nearly tears into his own lip because he doesn't know what to do with that wiggly feeling you give him.

Him? Hurt you? Not on purpose. It would go against the core values his grandfather AND Lilia taught him! Any fae caught abusing their spouse would be drawn and quartered, made a public display of. Any human man who chose to do so was no man at all!

Sebek's face feels almost painfully warm. He can feel the heat spreading from his cheeks to his ears. "In an act of benevolence inspired by the great Prince Malleus, I shall spare your delicate human self in exchange for a child. Is that the cliche rubbish you desire?"

Some of his once slicked-back hair has fallen down on his forehead, between his eyes, as if it's disappointed in you too.

"You think our child would be cliche rubbish? Cliche Rubbish Zigvolt? That does NOT sound good! I'm naming the firstborn, you're just helping make it."

"Wha--but I--that's not!" Sebek doesn't know what to say and he hasn't been trained for this. He's careful not to shove you away but untangles himself like a thrown ragdoll. He rolls over sharply, totally fine with hiding his face in the floor. His green hair is in disarray and his arms are limp, stretched out to either side of him.

You laugh, climbing onto his back and raking your nails down it gently. He makes the noise. You're not sure what it is but you've heard it before. It's deep and somehow soothing. He relaxes underneath you as you continue to scratch his back, throwing in a squeeze to his muscles every now and then.

It's not until you're in what would be the small of his back (if he wasn't build so solid and thick) that he raises his head, folds his arms up, and rests his chin on his hands. "You're safe." he can't bear to turn his head and look at you right now. If he did, you'd see how...how...weak and mushy he looked. Sebek snorts through his nose, arching his back in surprise as your hands slide all the way up until you flop on his back and your arms hang off his shoulders.

"Thank you, o' kind Zigvolt!" you hug his neck. "This delicate human appreciates it!"

"And I...appreciate...you." he mumbled slowly, the words a little foreign to him. More scary than foreign, honestly. That heartwarming shyness evaporated in an instant when he pinned you and began a stern lecture about how you should NOT offer to conceive a child with ANY OTHER FAE and what YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD.

You weren't surprised by this. Sebek lectured Silver all the time and Lilia said he was a very informed pupil. You, too, would be informed as it didn't seem like he was letting you go anytime soon.

[formula-ghost]

Wildflower (OP81 x fem!reader x LN4)

Chapter 2

CHAPTER SUMMARY: In the aftermath of Oscar’s breakup, he realizes there’s only one thing he needs to start feeling better. 

WORD COUNT: 9.4k

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI. Reader has AFAB anatomy. Rough sex (choking, biting, hair pulling), oral (m and f receiving), fingering, P in V, use of protection, praise, degradation/name calling, no aftercare (literally this entire chapter is them fucking, I’m sorry. I promise that all the smut has plot value haha). Mentions of cheating, reader is haunted by the narrative, hints of angst at the end. Also if a man treats you like Oscar treats YN in this story, LEAVE HIM. 

TAGLIST:  @at-a-rax-ia  @henna006 @linnygirl09 @cassielikereading @judelina  @supertrashbread @fastandcurious16 @widow-cevans  @czennieszn  @irisesinthegarden @wierdflowerpower  @sweetwh0re @reginalaufeyson-holmes @honethatty12 @suns3treading @obxstiles

A/N: The amount of love that everyone has shown me on this fic has been so overwhelming. You all have ignited my passion to create again. Thank you <3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Oscar stayed at your apartment for 4 days. 

There was a lot to be done; Lily had to arrange housing back in the UK and move her things. At some point, Oscar would have to tell his family. Potentially, an announcement would need to be made on social media. 

It felt like a to-do list, rather than the breaking of what once was something beautiful. Now, just boxes to check off. 

And Oscar wasn’t up to the task of any of it; you couldn’t blame him. It was hard enough for him to eat and sleep, let alone think about the upcoming races or the logistics of the breakup.

You let him talk when he wanted, but as the days between the breakup and the present grew, he seemed to settle. The shock was gone, replaced by a void, a thick grief that weighed down on him like a ton of bricks. There were a lot of quiet moments. 

Of course, you at least made sure that he had his basic needs taken care of. It was the least you could do.

On the afternoon of the fourth night, he got a text from Lily.

I’ve finished moving my stuff. Can you stop by in 15 minutes so I can drop off the keys? 

You read it aloud, because he couldn’t even bear to see her words with his own eyes. He stared at the wall ahead of him.

“Do you want me to go with you?” you asked.

“No,” he said, “I’ll be okay.”

He was silent then, the only sound from him being the jingle of his own keys as he got up to leave your apartment for the first time that week. As he walked out, you exhaled, throwing out a silent wish that he’d be okay seeing her again so soon. 

Oscar made the same wish as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment that only days before he’d shared with Lily. He felt like a robot in all of his movements; getting out of the car, pressing the elevator button, walking down the hall until he rounded the corner and saw her. 

“Hey,” she greeted him, to which he just gave her a small nod. 

“Here are the keys,” she said, and handed them to him. “I got all my stuff out, so, the apartment is all yours.”

“Where are you going?”

“Back home. For now, at least.” 

“You know you didn’t have to do this. You could have stayed here. Or I could have gotten you a place here in Monaco.”

“Don’t,” Lily said, softly, as if her tone of voice could change anything about the grief that the man before he felt. 

“It didn’t have to be like this, Lily,” he continued. “I told you, I’d quit it all. I’ll go to therapy. Whatever you want.”

“You’re living at her place. You’re sleeping in her bed.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Don’t make this any harder than it already is, Oscar.” Tears welled up in Lily’s eyes. “Let’s just wish each other the best and go on with our lives.”

“Is this really what you want?” Oscar pushed. “You really just want to throw away 5 years? Over what? I can change, Lily—”

“Goodbye, Oscar,” she said, walking away whilst he was still talking. He just watched her form get smaller and smaller down the hallway until she was gone. 

There was nothing he could do but stand there. She wasn’t coming back. 

Back at your apartment, dinner was almost ready. The clock on your phone told you that Oscar had been gone a little longer than anticipated. 

Maybe they were talking. Hell, maybe they had made up and Oscar wouldn’t be coming back. You were never the type to worry so much, but you had to admit that your thoughts were racing a little faster than usual.

That was, until you heard your door knob jiggle and felt the vibration of Oscar’s footsteps through your entryway. You heard him sigh and sink down into the sofa, running his fingers through his hair out of nervousness. 

“Food,” you softly called, walking out of the kitchen with two bowls, handing one to him. He accepted it wordlessly.

“D’you want to put on a movie or something? Or…talk about it?”

He just shook his head. So you obliged him, allowing him to have a quiet dinner.

As you ate, you admired him from across the couch. Even with his tousled hair, eye bags, and hunched shoulders, he was beautiful. And one day his smile would return—that sweet bunny-toothed smile that you had fallen in love with so many years ago. 

Your love for him had changed, though. You’d never have him. You knew that. And some would call it pathetic to stay in a man’s life solely because you loved him, when he didn’t love you in the same way. 

And maybe they were right. But you didn’t need the approval of others. You just needed your friend. 

And from Oscar’s side of the couch, he was thankful for the silence, but he was tortured by his own thoughts. The implication of what Lily had said; you’re sleeping in her bed, as if he had gone straight to you for a comfort beyond just home cooked meals. 

It pissed him off. How could she think so little of him? Accusing him of cheating, getting angry at him for wanting to spend time with his friends? 

Oscar was a man that was slow to anger. But when he got pissed, truly pissed, there was only one thing that really let him get that anger out.

If Lily thought that little of him, then maybe he’d just have to prove how horrible he really was. 

When dinner was done, you silently washed the dishes and cleaned up around the kitchen, stretching the sore muscles in your back and grimacing as they burned with the contractions.

“Your back hurting?” Oscar asked, leaning on the counter as you cleaned.

“A bit, yeah,” you confessed. “It’s fine.”

“I can take the couch tonight.”

“Oh no, you keep the bed. You need it before that flight tomorrow, anyway.” 

“I can sleep on the plane.” He paused. “Or, you know, the bed is big enough to share.”

Your hand paused as you wiped down the counters. You didn’t look up at him. The last time you had shared a bed with Oscar was when you lost your virginity. 

“I think that’s a bad idea.”

“We did it all the time when we were kids.”

“We aren’t kids anymore,” you said, reaching up to put away the clean plates. Your back burned with the stretch of your arms, and you winced. 

“I don’t mean it to be weird,” he said. You let the silence speak for itself. 

But when you were done cleaning up, you glanced at the couch and sighed, knowing that you really, really wanted to sleep in your warm and comfy bed.

So you slipped into the bedroom quietly, not acknowledging Oscar when you got under the covers and turned on your side, exhaling deeply as you felt the soft cushioning mold to the familiar shape of your body. 

Both of you were still awake, unable to sleep with the presence of the other, filling the room with a thick tension. 

“Are you still hurting?” Oscar whispered, laying flat on his back, staring into the void of the ceiling.

You, on the other hand, layed on your side facing away from him, staring into the void of your curtains that were only barely blocking out the light from the city outside. “Yeah,” you answered. 

You heard him shuffle, placing his hand on the small of your back, gently pushing you down to lay with your stomach against the bed. You let him, though the intimacy of the moment was…odd. 

“Trust me,” Oscar assured, as if he could read your thoughts. “Relax.”

You did, letting out a long breath as he began to massage the knots in your back, firmly pressing his strong hands into the dough of your flesh.

He slid his hands under the hem of your shirt, but you did nothing to refuse the contact, having practically turned into a puddle at the relief he brought your soreness. 

But when he was done, he just slid your shirt back down and sat back up in the bed, as if nothing had ever happened.

“Better?” he asked. You gave a strong exhale as you got up and stretched your arms above your head.

“So much better,” you said, giving him a soft smile. 

“I’m sorry for taking your bed.”

“Don’t be.”

“I guess I’ll go back to my place when I get home from Japan,” he said. 

“You can stay here as long as you like,” you assured him. 

“Thank you,” he said. In the darkness, the room was only barely illuminated by the lights of the city, but you could see Oscar's frame sitting before you; his tousled hair, his broad shoulders, his perfectly sharp jawline. 

Then the words came spilling out of you, in a way you couldn’t control. “I’m… so sorry, Oscar. For everything.”

“For what?”

“For ruining your relationship with Lily, for always being in the middle of everything—”

Oscar cut you off by kissing you. That familiar feeling of warmth and safety came to rest in your chest, a strange deja-vu. 

“Oscar…” you whispered as he pulled away.

“You didn’t ruin anything. I wanted you there. Always.”

“Lily thought you were in love with me.”

“I know. She thought you were in love with me, too.”

You paused, looking at him again. You couldn’t see his eyes in the dark, just the faint outline of your face. But the floodgates of your honesty had already been opened. 

“Was she right?” you asked. 

“Was she?” he responded, putting the question back on you. 

You didn’t answer. You loved him. He knew you loved him. You knew that he knew that you loved him. But you couldn’t bear to say it aloud, not knowing whether he’d say it back.

To end the silence, he just kissed you again, deeper this time, holding your waist. But you pulled back.

“We shouldn’t,” you said.

“Why not?” 

“Because you’ll regret it in the morning.”

“No I won’t,” he said, kissing your neck. You inhaled sharply. “Besides, it’s not anything we haven’t done before.”

“You’re not thinking clearly, Oscar.”

“I know what I want.”

You pulled away, catching his eye in a sliver of light that snuck in between the curtains. 

He continued, “I know what you want, too.”

He was right. You wanted him. And if you had really pulled away from him, he would have let you go. But he knew you wouldn’t.

So you let him bring his arms up under your shirt, holding you now with a force that was rougher, more refined, than when you were two nervous teenagers exploring each other’s bodies. 

He quickly pushed you down on the bed, pressing his weight on you as his tongue slipped past your teeth to explore the warmth of your mouth. His hand found yours and he intertwined your fingers, pinning you down with the tender gesture.

His lips roamed down, finding their way to your neck to leave marks as he roughly bit and sucked into the tender flesh, causing you to softly gasp. His unoccupied hand roughly gripped at your thigh, holding onto you with a frenzied lust that you’d never seen before.

All his movements were twinged with this agitated desire, as if your body could take all his anger and frustration away through just his touch. 

His lips left your neck for only a moment, as he freed his hands and removed your shirt, revealing your bare chest, nipples hardened from the cool air in the room. He quickly removed his own shirt and began to fondle you, pawing at one side as he brought his mouth to suck at the other. Your head fell back on the pillow, overwhelmed at the rough sensations—Oscar’s bare skin against yours, the coolness of the room, the warmth of his wanting. 

His breath got more ragged as you felt his hardness pressing against you, the full extent of his longing held back only by the fabric of his sweatpants. It wasn’t like years ago, hesitant and gentle. Now, he was dark and still devoid of any love. 

But love was the furthest thing from your mind right now, your body overwhelmed with the sensation of Oscar’s hand around your neck, his fingers pressing down the side to keep you still as his other hand moved lower down to the hem of your shorts. 

He slid his hand under your panties, finding your pussy, slick and already craving him. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” Oscar murmured. 

All you could do was whimper as his fingers teased your entrance and he went back to kissing up and down your neck. It was like he couldn’t waste a second with your body, or else the reality of what you all were doing would catch up to him. 

But neither of you were thinking of anything other than the growing lust you had for the other as his fingers pumped in and out of you, filling the quiet room with sinful noises.

“Fuck, Oscar,” you said, your voice breathy. “Slow down.”

“Why?” he questioned, obeying your request anyway. “You can’t handle it, huh? How are you gonna take it when I fuck you?”

“Osc…” you exhaled. All you could do was moan his name as he sped back up. 

“No, you can take it, can’t you?” he taunted, his fingers sprinting in and out of you, hitting that perfect spot inside of you that made your stomach burn with pleasure. 

“Yes,” you whispered between breaths.

“Good girl,” he said, curling his thumb to circle your clit as he pumped his fingers faster, causing you to see stars.

The praise and the sweet burn of his touch pushed you over the edge. You threw your head back on the pillow and let out a low moan as you clenched around his fingers.

You felt him grab your chin with one hand, taking his other from your dripping pussy and forcing his fingers in your mouth. You instinctively closed your mouth around him, curling your tongue along the digits, tasting your own cum on his fingers.

His eyes traced the edges of your lips as he pulled his hand away and kissed you, mingling tastes until you forgot where you stopped and he began. 

He pulled away and removed the last layers of clothing until you both were bare, shielded only by the darkness of your room.

There was no love making, no tenderness, just animalistic desire, as he wasted no time putting on a condom and sliding himself inside you with a long groan. 

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he said, leaning his weight on you as he stuffed you with every inch, filling you with the sweet burn of pleasure. “Yeah, you can take it, can’t you?”

You didn’t answer, instead balling up the sheets in your fist as he fucked you. To hold him would be too intimate.

He closed his eyes and buried his head in the pillows next to you as he desperately rutted into you, taking it slow to savor every second of blissful escape that your body could give him. You could hear every frenzied noise that escaped his mouth, and you responded in turn, doing nothing to hold back the sounds that rose from your stomach to your throat and passed through your lips. 

“Oscar,” you breathed, “I’m close.” With every movement, the knot in your stomach threatened to release, flooding your body with pleasure. 

Oscar sped up his pace, chasing his own release more than yours. Still, you broke, coming apart beneath him, shuddering as he continued to press in and out of you. 

It wasn’t long until his own moans increased in pitch and intensity, signifying that he was nearing the edge. You rocked forward on him, fucking him as he fucked you, getting him closer quicker. The sweet friction of your bodies was too much; he pulled out and removed the condom, pumping his length furiously. He bit his lip and groaned expletives, cumming on your stomach, painting your skin with the evidence of your lust. 

Oscar’s breath slowed as he rummaged around for his discarded clothing, handing you a towel to clean up. As he almost immediately re-dressed, you felt…exposed. Self-conscious. As if this wasn’t your best friend, the man you’d given your virginity to so many years ago.

You felt… used. 

Even after you had dressed yourself, and both of you had turned opposite each other to get some rest, the feeling didn’t go away. Because, after all, hadn’t you used him, too?

I know what you want, he had said. You had wanted this—at least, in theory. But now, days after the love of Oscar’s life had left him heartbroken? 

No, not this. This couldn’t be what you wanted. But then why had he been right? 

Oscar may have said that he wouldn’t regret it, but you definitely were already.

You fell into a tense sleep, only to be awoken by Oscar’s alarm a few hours later. He groaned and slapped his hand over your nightstand to shut it off, grumbling as he turned back over and buried his face in the pillow.

You sat up, giving up on a good night’s rest, and went to the kitchen to make some tea and watch the sunrise from your balcony. You could hear Oscar from the bedroom, groaning as his snooze went off for the second time and he heaved himself out of bed. 

You wordlessly handed him a mug and walked out of the kitchen to the balcony. It was too early in the morning; there would be no sunrise for another hour or so. You sighed. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Oscar asked as he walked up behind you, mug in hand. 

“I wanted to watch the sunrise. Didn’t realize it was still so early.” You took a sip.

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here too long.” 

You hummed, relishing the warmth of the mug between your fingers. He was right—it was freezing. 

“When are you flying out?” he asked. 

“I’m not,” you said, staring off into the water in the distance. You took another sip. “They’ve got that new guy doing the photos this weekend.”

“You should,” Oscar said, walking forward to lean on the balcony next to you. The closeness felt like a mockery after the distance you’d felt hours before.

You let out a chuckle. “I think the new guy probably cried when we told him he’d get to do Japan. I can’t take that away from him.”

“I meant, like, with me.”

It wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last, that you’d gone to a grand prix as a personal guest of Oscar’s. It was something that shouldn’t be weird at all. Then why did it feel so wrong?

“I just…don’t wanna be alone,” he said as he turned his head to look at you, but you avoided his gaze.

‘I don’t know, we’re already behind on the merch orders—”

“You can work remotely.”

“Not from the pit wall,” you said, a faint smile tracing the edges of your lips.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re stubborn?” he teased. A smile came to his lips—the first smile you’d seen in days. 

“Never,” you said, your voice dripping in sarcasm.

“Well, if you wanna turn down authentic sushi and seeing your favorite McLaren driver, be my guest.”

You cringed at the reference—ever since Lily had tried to set you up with Lando, you and Oscar had jokingly started referring to him as “your favorite McLaren driver,” even though you both avoided each other like the plague due to the awkwardness of it all. 

But authentic sushi sounded great. 

“You drive a hard bargain, Osc,” you laughed. 

“And I drive an even better Formula 1 car. Which you could see, in Japan,” he joked, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows in that familiar dry expression.

Oscar felt…normal again. And yes, you had been so busy tending to him that you had fallen behind on your work. But it was worth it, to banter with your best friend again, even if only for a moment.

“Fine,” you acquiesced. “You got me. Let me inside so I can pack, it is fucking freezing out here.”

One torturously long flight later, you were checking into a hotel in Japan with Oscar.  

Since the trip had been planned so late—your ticket literally bought over the phone in the Uber on the way to the airport—the hotel was fully booked by F1 employees. You and Oscar would have to share a room. 

Your stomach sank at the realization, as if you hadn’t slept with him the night before anyway. 

Up in the room, as he unpacked a few of his belongings, Oscar’s phone rang. You glanced at the caller ID: Mum.

He saw it too, but ignored it, continuing to set out his clothes for the next morning. 

But your phone rang, too, the same name and number, even the same caller ID. Nicole was practically your mom anyways.

“Do you want me to answer it?” you asked, and Oscar sighed.

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“I figured.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Not even with her.” He slung a shirt over his shoulder, walking towards the bathroom.

“She’s not gonna stop until she gets one of us on the phone.”

“I know.”

“Do you want me to lie?

“No,” he began. He knew you. You could pull off a small white lie if you really had to, but it tortured you inside. He wouldn’t ask that of you. “I guess… do you mind telling her? I just don’t have it in me.”

“I can.”

“Thank you,” he said, giving you a flat smile, a genuine attempt at thankfulness. You just nodded and took a deep breath as you heard the shower knob turn and water droplets crash against the floor.

You called Nicole back.

“Hello, darling,” she began. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. A bit jet lagged,” you admitted.

“Where are you off to now?” she joked, a smile surely on her face.

“I’m in Japan with Oscar, actually. Kinda last minute.”

“Ah,” she said. “Are you with him now?”

“No,” you lied, unable to admit that you were currently sharing a room with her son. “I can pass it along, though?”

“Oh no, I was just wondering how he was doing.”

“Well, I can tell you, he’s not great, unfortunately. Erm… he and Lily broke up.”

“Oh, God…” she sighed, “That’s horrible.”

“Yeah,” you replied, unsure of what else to say. “I’m not entirely sure what happened. I guess they just weren’t happy anymore. He’s heartbroken, though. So, if it seems like he’s avoiding your calls, that’s why.”

“You know, I figured something was wrong. Things were just…off, when you all were here, weren’t they?” 

Your heart rate increased. “Yeah, I guess they were.”

“Can I ask you something, YN?”

“Of course.”

“Did you know anything about this?” Her tone wasn’t at all accusatory or scandalous; as usual, she was kind.

“I mean, I knew they were having some problems. I think Lily wanted them to spend more time together. I never thought it’d end, though.”

Nicole hummed. She knew you couldn’t quite tell her the full truth. There was something deeper there, something from far before your visit to the Piastri family home. She’d get it from you eventually. 

‘Well, I’m sure you all are busy in Japan, so I won’t hold you any longer. But tell Oscar I love him and to call me when he’s ready. And I love you too, YN.”

“Love you, Mum,” you said as you hung up the call. Her voice felt like a warm hug through the phone. 

As if on cue, Oscar came out of the shower, the white towel wrapped around his waist leaving little to the imagination. He roughly tousled his wet hair in a smaller towel. God, he looked good. If it were up to you, you’d push him back on the bed and fuck him right then and there.

But something felt…wrong. You’d been with him just the night before, but an unfamiliar guilt had made its way inside of your chest and made a home there.

It didn’t make sense. You, not Oscar, had warned against it; he had worn down your carefully built defenses, the ones you’d meticulously created over the years, until no excuse could protect you from the truth anymore. Yes, you wanted him. You had wanted him for years. Every second that he had been with Lily, you had wanted him for yourself. 

But you had never done anything about it. Always been respectful, reading the room, leaving when you knew you weren’t wanted. You hadn’t done anything until she finally left—and did you have every right to, then?

You guessed so. Then why did it now feel so fucking wrong?

Oscar’s voice broke you out of your spiraling. “What did she say?”

“She just wanted to check up on you. I told her.” He hummed in response. “She was asking me about it, but I didn’t really know how much you wanted to share. She just said she loves you and to give her a call when you can.”

“Thank you. For… doing that. I’m sure it was awkward.”

“It was fine,” you lied. It had been incredibly awkward—you could sense that Nicole suspected you were far more involved in the breakup than you had admitted to being. But was it really your fault? What had you done wrong? You continued, “It’s the least I can do.”

Oscar got quiet then, thinking about what, you’d never know. 

“Well, I guess I promised you sushi?”

“That you did,” you replied. You were more thankful for a break in the awkward silence than the promise of dinner.

So you ended up at Oscar’s favorite hole in the wall sushi restaurant in Japan, as if nothing in the world was amiss. 

Still, the feeling of something being deeply wrong, though now shoved to the back of your mind, wouldn’t leave you alone. It was odd—there had never been an F1 race in which Oscar and Lily weren’t together. Of course, she couldn’t come to every race, and with you working for him, you often ended up in positions similar to this.

But it felt like your entire world had been tinged a bizarre shade of blue, like Lily’s absence was a grief that you felt too, though you two had never been particularly close. And if you could even feel this crushing weight of her absence, you didn’t even want to begin imagining what Oscar felt. 

So, you’d have to excuse the awkwardness, the quiet moments, and even his concerning desire for you last night. He must be losing his mind. 

All of this, while also attempting to keep up the appearance of normalcy; he snapped a photo of you throwing up a peace sign and posted it to his close friends story, playing as if nothing was amiss. 

As you ate, his phone vibrated. A message from Lando. 

Oh, you all didn’t invite me? I see how it is. 

The message, dripping with Lando’s usual cocky sarcasm, was typical of the Brit. On any other day, Oscar would have smiled to himself and playfully rolled his eyes at his teammate’s antics. Today, though, the message only brought forth a flood of frustration. 

In the midst of Oscar’s heartbreak, something darker had been brewing; a championship battle.

He knew it was too early in the season to call. It was only the third race, and McLaren was known for the teamwork between himself and Lando. But Oscar was nothing if not competitive. You had to be, to get this far in F1. 

His legacy so far has been polite teamwork. Papaya rules, or whatever the fuck the strategists wanted to call it. Getting gifted wins by Lando or giving him the wins that Oscar rightfully deserved—he was willing to do it, of course, for the team. But he couldn’t be sidelined forever in favor of the golden boy of Formula 1. 

So Oscar knew that this would be his season. Lando had a close call in the 2024 season with Max Verstappen and was being hailed as the favorite for this year’s championship. But Oscar was determined. Oscar had nothing left to lose. 

He was getting that championship if it killed him. And that meant that there was no more room for friends.

Oscar opened the message, just to get the notification bubble to go away, annoyed by the friendly pestering of his competitor. He left Lando on seen.

But Lando wouldn’t let his teammate get away from him that easily. 

“Hey, Oscar,” he yelled ahead of him, as they walked into the paddock the next morning for media day. “Morning, you muppet,” he said, playfully clapping Oscar on the back. 

“Morning,” Oscar murmured. 

“Tired?” he asked. Oscar nodded. “Well, makes sense, because you were so busy going out without me. And then you had the nerve to leave me on read.”

Lando’s tone was clearly playful, but Oscar was still having none of it. “We got sushi.”

“Ewww. But as your unofficial fourth wheel, I still would have appreciated an invite.”

“It was just me and YN,” Oscar said, absentmindedly fiddling in his bag for his ID. He had truly been tired—too tired to really organize his bag before he left the hotel this morning. 

“Ah. Well,” Lando smiled, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, “wouldn’t want to interrupt that.”

Oscar looked up, making an unamused face at Lando. “What are you saying?”

“What? I know a side chick when I see one. But that’s none of my business, I know when to keep my mouth shut.” 

Oscar yanked his pass out of his bag, zipping it up aggressively. “YN isn’t my side chick.”

“You’re in a sour mood. Did you not sleep well or something?”

Oscar wanted nothing more than for Lando to leave him alone. “No, I didn’t. Lando, you know we’re not friends, right?”

“Sure we are.”

“Outside of the track, maybe. But I’m here to beat you. Not invite you out to sushi.” 

“Oscar, you’ve got to relax. You’re letting all this get to your head, mate.”

“I have somewhere to be,” Oscar said, abruptly ending the exchange there.

Lando wasn’t offended. He knew that when stakes were high, you said things you didn’t mean—God knows he had done that himself too many times to count. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something beyond just the stresses of Formula 1 racing that was causing Oscar’s hostility. 

Contrary to what one might think, Oscar was actually very easy to read. And it hadn’t exactly been top secret that he and Lily were having issues. Maybe Lando had just hit a nerve with the implication that Oscar had been unfaithful. 

But was he so wrong? To any outside viewer it seemed plain as day that there was something between you and Oscar that Lily seemed in denial about—at least, she had been, until Lando was caught in the crossfire during the Italy trip. 

God, the Italy trip. He cringed just thinking about it. Even after clearing the air with you, he just felt so…disgusting. Not at you, but at himself, the way he had dismissed you as if you were meaningless. But what else was he meant to do, when Lily had pushed you far beyond your comfort zone, and he knew you didn’t want anything like that with him?

He hoped that you wouldn’t hold it against him. He certainly wouldn’t hold whatever Oscar was dealing with against him. 

And that was fortunate, because Oscar’s foul mood followed him throughout the day, and into the next morning too. It was like the Aussie was followed by his own personal raincloud of annoyance, unable to escape his own thoughts. 

He was quickly learning that, even at Formula 1 speeds, he couldn’t outrun his heartbreak.

But it wasn’t sadness that he felt. It was anger. It was determination. It was a giant fuck you to everyone and no one in particular. Gone was the polite cat, the veneer of civility and sportsmanship. He needed to win, just to feel something again. 

Sessions one and two of free practice seemed promising. The third session was even better. 

But before qualifying, he felt that now all too familiar feeling bubbling up within him. The pressure to perform.

He needed to get pole. He needed it. 

In the paddock, he passed the commentators box. He could hear them talking about him. 

“For this afternoon’s qualifying session, all eyes are on Oscar Piastri! The McLaren driver had an amazing 2024 season, and so far this year, he’s already clenched a home win. But, somehow, he has never secured pole position at any Formula 1 Grand Prix qualifying session, only having done it for two sprint races. Compared to his teammate Lando Norris, who has historically dominated qualifying…”

He couldn’t listen any longer. 

He stomped back to his driver’s room, the words spinning in his head. It wasn’t just the commentators. It was Lando, it was the crowds, it was Lily. 

No. Not now. 

He grabbed his phone and sent a text.

You were oblivious to all of this, having spent Thursday and Friday in the hotel catching up on all your work that couldn’t be ignored for any longer. You’d come to the track today to support Oscar, and to help the new guy, who you had quickly realized most definitely wasn’t ready to be working an entire grand prix weekend on his own. 

But as you once again reminded him of the most basic functions of spell check on Instagram captions, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. A text from Oscar. 

Come to my room.

A second message.

I need you. 

You felt your heart drop. Even if you didn’t know the details of what exactly Oscar was feeling, you could tell that it was slowly eating away at him, making him a shell of his former self.

In the few days since your last night together in Monaco, you had kept your distance, unsure of where you stood since that one regretful night. But soon, you’d find out exactly what Oscar needed from you.

You practically sprinted to his driver’s room, only knocking once before he opened the door, his face just as flushed as yours. He peeked his head out, looked both ways to ensure the hallway was clear, and pulled you by the waist into the room.

He closed the door and locked it.

In one motion, he grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall and overwhelming your senses with a fierce kiss. 

You were left breathless as he refused to let you go, bringing his free hand to your chin to hold you still against him. His kiss deepened, devouring your taste, as if he’d never get another chance again. 

When he finally did pull back, you could see his eyes clouded with wanting, looking you up and down like he’d die if he didn’t get more of you.

“Oh, “ you exhaled. “That’s what you needed.”

“Is this okay?”

You swallowed back your nervousness at his loaded question. “Yeah. Just wasn’t expecting it.” 

“Sorry,” he apologized. “I just can’t fucking drive like this.”

You both held your breath as you heard a set of footsteps approaching, then fading off into the distance. 

“We don’t have time. Can you do something for me?”

You nodded at him, your innocent eyes staring at him with anticipation. God, you were fucking perfect. And he was going to ruin you, right here and now. 

“On your knees,” he commanded, and you obeyed. 

He gently pulled your hair back before wrapping around his hands in a fist, pulling you back to look at him. “You’re so good for me,” he cooed.

But that was the end of his gentleness. He was going to prove to you how much he needed you.

You started slow, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, sinfully dragging your tongue along his sensitive tip. But there was no time for teasing. 

He held your head and pushed into the back of your throat, letting out a soft, low groan as the blissful feeling of your lips around him. 

“That’s it, love. You can take it, right?” he teased, and you let out a muffled “mhm” as an answer, your mouth being preoccupied with much…bigger things. 

“Yeah, you take me so well, you’re so good for me,” he said, pushing your head back and forth to guide your rhythm. “Like you were made for me.”

You couldn’t help the gagging noises that came out of your mouth as you pressed your hands into his thighs for support. He hit the back of your throat, and you felt your eyes roll back from the relentless pace.

“Good little whore,” he said, his voice wavering from pleasure. “Letting me fuck your mouth in public, whenever I need it. God, fuck—”

You dug your nails into your thighs as you took every inch of him one last time, until you felt the sweet stickiness of his release coating the back of your throat. He let out one final groan as he let down your hair and fixed his race suit.

You swallowed and wiped your mouth as Oscar leaned down to kiss your cheek, an odd tenderness after the intensity of your encounter. 

“I’ll see you back at the hotel, yeah?” he asked, and you just nodded as he walked out the door. 

You watched from inside the paddock as Oscar got his first pole position. 

Neither of the McLaren boys won the grand prix, though. Max Verstappen, in usual fashion, had to remind everyone who was the 4 time world champion and who were the two children in comparison, fighting over the shiny toy of a trophy. 

A double papaya podium was good, though. That’s what you thought, at least. You’d hadn’t talked racing with Oscar in a while, knowing that it caused him more harm than good to be constantly reminded of the stakes at hand. 

But after the grand prix, you couldn’t stay with him for the next two races of the triple header. You had truly been neglecting your work in favor of being there for Oscar, and you needed to focus to catch up on all the beginning of season chaos. 

So, having sufficiently trained the new guy to hold down the fort in your absence, you reluctantly went home to Monaco.

But on the road, your absence hit Oscar like a ton of bricks. 

He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t eat. He paced the lobby of expensive hotels like a zombie. Everything was just…wrong. 

Oscar had always been the type who didn’t like to be alone. That wasn’t new. But this…thing, that felt like it was tearing him apart from the inside? He couldn’t name it. 

You could, though. It was heartbreak.

“I miss you,” he admitted, his voice quiet on the other side of the phone. It was the middle of the night in Bahrain, but you were just laying down for bed. 

“I miss you too, Osc, but you’ve got to get some sleep.”

“I can’t. It’s too quiet here.”

“Why don’t you put on some music?”

“It’s just… not the same.”

You sighed, empathetic for your struggling best friend. “What do you usually do when you’re alone on race weekends?”

There had been plenty of weekends where neither you nor Lily were in attendance, but those days seemed foreign to him now. “I don’t even fucking remember.”

“I’m so sorry, Osc. Do you wanna…talk about it?”

He knew the “it” you were referring to. The more accurate pronoun would be “her.”

“No,” he said, the word feeling final and solid. “But has anyone asked about it?”

“No,” you echoed. “You’ll have to tell them eventually. People can tell that you’re not doing too well.”

“Great,” he sighed. 

“If anyone asks, I can tell them.”

“Thank you.” He paused. “I think I’m gonna sell the apartment. Get another one.”

“It might be nice to have a new start.”

“Yeah,” he continued, “I just don’t even want to go back there. But I know I can’t keep hogging your place.”

“You can stay with me as long as you need, Osc.”

“I’d rather you stay with me. The guest room is practically yours already, anyways.”

“I could do that,” you said. 

“Are you sure you can’t come out for Saudi Arabia?”

“I wish I could. But your fans order too much merch and we’re drowning in orders,” you laughed. 

“Good problem to have.”

“Yeah.”

The silence on the lines was thick, an electric current running through the fragile stability of what was unspoken. The breakup, all the emotions he had refused to talk about since it happened, and the…new hobby the two of you had been indulging in. At some point it would have to be addressed.

But not now. Oscar yawned, “This is awful. I’m exhausted all the time but I can’t sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. It was all you could say; it was true. 

“Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” You could never say no to him, even though you knew you should be focused on getting your own sleep. It was an unusual power that Oscar had over you; if anyone else asked this much of you, you would have left them a long time ago. But Oscar? You wished that you could do nothing more than hold him until it didn’t hurt anymore. 

But, for now, you’d have to settle for talking him to sleep from a few thousand miles away. And, evidenced by his soft snoring, it was working wonders. 

In the days before his return, it seemed like Oscar’s anxiety was rubbing off on you, even from so far away.

You couldn’t hardly sleep, always anticipating his call or texts in the odd hours of the night. You settled into an uneasy routine in his absence, your schedule practically becoming his so you were always available to call or watch his races. 

On the surface, it wasn’t unusual; plenty of fans woke themselves up at ungodly hours to watch every interview or free practice session. But in light of everything else, it felt like more of a commitment. 

And the fact that Oscar wanted you to essentially live with him in his Monaco apartment when he got back? Again, it shouldn’t be so odd. You would live with the Piastri family for months at a time when you were younger and your parents traveled for work. 

But you knew this time it was just different. You knew you couldn’t get attached to this new life you had already begun to settle into. At some point Oscar would heal from his heartbreak, and things would go back to normal.

How could life continue as normal, though, with Lily being gone? She was so integral to the fabric of both of your lives that neither of you could imagine one without her in it. 

It was this topic that came up the night before the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, on a facetime call with your best friend. 

You hadn’t pushed him to talk, knowing that he’d come to you when he really needed it—and he did.

“I just…I hate being on the road, but I don’t want to go back. Being in Monaco without her just feels wrong.”

“I know. It’s weird for me too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just, you all were endgame, you know? I never imagined this would happen.”

He hummed, clearly not expecting that answer. 

“I didn’t either,” he responded. “I know you said it would get better, but I can’t imagine it right now. How did you do this?”

“You want the truth?” you asked. He shifted in bed, bringing his arms up under his head to lay on them, like a child curled up next to his mother.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think I ever really loved any of my exes. I was just trying to convince myself that I did.”

“I don’t believe that. Not after how devastated you were when you found out about the last one.”

You huffed at the nickname ‘the last one.’ After you discovered that your ex had cheated on you. Oscar was still so pissed that he refused to call him by his name.

“No, I didn’t love him. I think I was more upset about the fact that I had finally convinced myself that I did love him, and then he did that. I thought it was finally over, like…it was a game I had won. I tried to stay because I didn’t want to start all over with someone else. But I realized it was a waste of time, so I might as well just stay single.”

“YN, that’s…really sad, actually.”

“I guess,” you said, smiling and exhaling. “But you live and move on, right?” Through your screen you saw the faint sheen of teardrops on Oscar’s eyes. You looked away.

You continued, “But it’s different for you and Lily. You all really loved each other. I don’t know how you heal from that.”

“I don’t either.” He sniffled. “You’ve really never been in love?”

“That’s… it’s complicated.”

Even from a screen thousands of miles away, the implication of your statement was unmistakable. But you didn’t want to go there. Not now. 

Someday, maybe. Someday you would be able to tell Oscar directly to his face that you had been in love with him for nearly a decade.

But first, he had to come home. 

When he landed in the airport in Nice and caught an Uber to his apartment in Monaco, heartfelt confessions of love were the last thing on his mind.

Lando had won the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix. Oscar was now losing. 

He couldn’t win them all. It was the beginning of the season. He was going through a rough time. All these excuses swirled around his mind. And that’s what they were—excuses. He hadn’t performed. He needed to be better.

He didn’t want to be better right now, though. He wanted to go home and collapse in his bed and sleep for a week straight. But his apartment would be cold and empty without Lily there.

Well, at least he’d have you.

And since you knew coming back would be hard for him, you had gone out of your way to make his homecoming easier. Using your spare key, you moved a few things into the guest room, did his laundry, lightly cleaned up, and had his favorite dinner set up and ready on the table with a lit candle rounding out the cozy scene. 

He thought he might cry tears of joy when he walked in and saw what you had done. 

Still, it was…different. When he would come home to Lily the house felt more lived in. Now it was clean and cozy, but too much so, evidence that the once binding force of the apartment’s atmosphere was gone. 

He wasn’t complaining though. Few people were lucky enough to come home to a clean home and a warm meal made by someone who loved them. And after the dinner, he certainly wanted to make his appreciation known.

“The least I can do is return the favor,” Oscar said, leaning against the wall behind you as you cleaned up the remnants of the meal. 

You playfully scoffed. “Since when do you cook or clean?”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, wrapping his arm around your waist and bringing his lips to your neck.

“Um…oh,” you exhaled, unsure of what to make of his advance, but nevertheless relishing his touch. 

“You’ve just been so good to me,” he whispered in your ear, sending shivers up your spine.

“I’m just…being a good friend.” Your voice was breathy and tense.

“Do you not want to?” he asked, spinning you around to look at him.

“Well I just—” you exhaled, looking away from him. God, yes, you wanted him. Under eye bags and messy hair, depression and vulnerability, you wanted all of him. “In your apartment?”

“Would you rather I fuck you out on the street?” he joked. You would have smiled wider if you didn’t know that he was intentionally dodging the implications of your question. 

You couldn’t not bring it up, though. “In her apartment? In her bed?”

Oscar’s expression got colder. “It’s my apartment. She took all her shit and left.”

“It just feels wrong. I mean, Oscar, what are we doing?” You hadn’t intended for this conversation to happen now, but you both knew it was inevitable. 

“What we are doing is talking, when there are far better things our mouths could be occupied with,” he answered. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

He pulled his arm away from your waist and turned away from you, but you couldn’t bear it. The thought of him sleeping alone broke your heart.

So you pulled his arm back and hissed him rough. He pushed you back into the counter, asserting dominance, as one hand came up to wrap itself around your neck and the other snaked its way underneath your shirt. 

“Jump,” he instructed, and you hopped up onto the counter and he took off your skirt and panties before spreading your legs apart. 

“I owe you one, no?” he teased before his mouth found your clit and sucked.

“Fuck, Osc,” you said, putting a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans.

“Stop that,” he said, pulling your hand down before bringing his lips back down to your pussy. 

“Osc, I’m trying to be quiet and you’re making that….very difficult,” you said. 

“Quiet? If the neighbors aren’t putting in noise complaints after I’m done with you, then I’m doing something wrong,” he laughed.

You all never made it to the bedroom, too caught up in the moment to even move a few rooms away. He fucked you right there on the counter, whispering filthy nothings in your ear.

“My perfect little toy, aren’t you? Disgusting little girl,” he moaned. “Wanted me so bad you couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. How long have you wanted me to fuck you like this? Days? Weeks? Years?”

You couldn’t even respond, too lost in the heavenly feeling of him filling you with every inch. 

“God, you’re fucking filthy. I know how badly you wanted this, for so long. Fuck,” he moaned, “I’ll take care of it now. Just let go, cum for me.”

You obeyed.

But later that night, as he slept next to you, his words haunted you. It wasn’t the degradation—you liked that—but the deeper implication. He fucked you on the counter that he and Lily had once made dinner on together. You slept in her bed, next to her boyfriend. And he knew that you had wanted him so badly for so long. He teased you with it.

But you had never done anything, right? Oscar was right—he wasn’t her boyfriend, he was her ex. This wasn’t her apartment, not anymore at least. She had left.

Then why didn’t the guilt that was now eating you alive leave with her?

That guilt, powerful as it was, wasn’t enough to keep you from fucking Oscar on every surface of that God-forsaken apartment. You both were insatiable, and soon enough, the sounds of your pleasure echoed through every room, every day. 

Her counter. Her kitchen table. Her couch. Her shower. Her bed. 

The entire place, though now devoid of her belongings, was still Lily’s. And you were defiling it.

But you couldn’t stop. The feeling of Oscar’s hands wrapped around you, his lips on yours, was like a drug. You had waited so fucking long to have him—in every place, in every way. So why did it make you feel like you were going to puke every time you thought about it for too long?

And the question that you and Oscar were still avoiding hung thick in the air. 

What are we doing? The unanswerable question still haunted you.

As good as his touch felt, you knew it was wrong. And eventually, you’d have to talk.

It seemed that you weren’t the only one with that question.

After another night tangled between the sheets with Oscar, he checked his phone. A call from his mother. Fuck.

He had been avoiding her for weeks now. He couldn’t do it any longer.

While you cleaned up in the shower, he finally gathered up the courage and called her back.

“Hi mum,” he greeted as she immediately answered.

“Well hello, son. It’s nice to finally hear from you,” Nicole replied, her voice tinged with annoyed sarcasm.

“I’m sorry. There’s just been a lot going on.”

“I know. I talked to YN a while ago.”

“Yeah, I told her she could tell you. She’s, um, been helping me out a lot lately.”

“That’s good. How is she doing?”

“Oh, great,” he said. It was true. Oscar was making sure you were well taken care of, to say the least. 

“Been spending a lot of time with her?” his mother asked, bringing his thoughts back down to earth. 

“Yeah, she’s been helping me a lot with the apartment. I’m probably gonna sell it, but all the paperwork is ridiculous. I don’t have the time of energy for any of it,” he sighed.

“That’s not what I was getting at, Oscar.” He could hear his mother’s frown through the phone. 

“What?”

“You seem to have her around quite a lot for a man who’s newly single, don’t you?”

“It’s not like that, mum.”

“Oscar, do not lie to me.”

He sighed. “God, mum, I am not with YN! I would never do that. She’s just a friend. Besides, I don’t think I ever want to date again.” 

From behind the closed door of the bathroom, you heard him. You stopped in your tracks.

Nicole refused to give it up. “I raised you better than this, Oscar.”

“Seriously, mum?”

“Under the assumption that you’re being entirely honest, which I know for a fact you’re not, you know damn well how that girl feels about you.”

“How are YN’s feelings my problem?” Your ear pressed to the bathroom door, you heard every word. You thought your legs were going to give out. 

“Son, I know you must be heartbroken. But don’t do that to her.”

“I’m not doing anything. And thanks for asking how I’m doing, mum. A scolding is actually the perfect thing I need after the love of my life just up and left me a month ago.”

“Don’t get that tone with me—”

“I’ve got to go.”

“Fine. Do you think you’ll be able to come home at all before the summer?”

“I don’t know, mum. I’ll call you later.” 

The two hung up the call, and you heard Oscar huff as he put his phone back on the nightstand. You didn’t want to come out of the bathroom. In fact, you didn’t even want to be in this apartment, or the principality of Monaco, or on the same planet as Oscar Piastri right now.

But where else would you go? Your own apartment, the one that he had purchased? Back to his family’s house in Australia?

Where else was home?

Once, you had hoped that home would be Oscar’s arms. All you wanted now was to be held by him. But there was never much tenderness from him after your lovemaking. He always just turned over to the other side of the bed and fell asleep.

And that’s what he did now, clearly grumbling to himself about the phone call, though you didn’t say anything about what you’d heard. 

You sighed, a noise of frustration rather than contention. Oscar just ignored you.

You grabbed your own phone off the nightstand, hoping to distract yourself in work or endless scrolling.

But while Oscar didn’t want to talk to you, it seemed someone else did. Your eyes glanced over the screen:

Accept message request from Lando_Norris?

[riboism]

speed

》 pairing: c.s x f!reader, j.wy

》 genre: smut

》 wc: 1k

》 content: drug dealers! woosan, reader is san’s gf and woo may or may not have a crush on her, voyeurism, voyeur! woo, no mentions of drug use or violence, backseat fucking, reverse cowgirl, pussy slapping.

》 a/n: had to take a break after seeing that woosan outlaw trailer and write this…I literally can’t stop thinking about it.

🎧 speed- kali uchis

Tensions were high, and it didn’t help that Wooyoung’s delivery guy was 20 minutes late and counting. The exchange didn’t go as well as he had hoped, and he figured some fried chicken from this new place that opened downtown would offer him some solace. He noted that this was the first and last time he would order from there.

His partner San had his own way of dealing with stress. A very loud and obnoxious way. Being forced to listen to you and San go at it like wild animals while rattling the van from side to side really didn’t help make his hunger pains go away any faster.

“God damn it, can you guys keep it down back there?” He spat, losing his count of the wad of cash in his hands. 

Neither of you heard him, not over your loud moans. You were sprawled over San’s lap with your back facing him, his fingers grasping on to your waist tightly as he fucked up into your pussy at a harsh pace. You had started off slow and steady, mindful not to make too much noise so as to not bother your boyfriend’s work associate, but San was always impatient, especially on nights like this, and he found your pace a little too slow for his liking. So he decided to take matters into his own hands- literally. He was holding onto you so tight that you were sure it would leave a mark. And as for you, well you tried your best to be quiet, but it was hard when San used you like his own personal cocksleeve. He rolled his hips up to your cunt, his hard tip reaching deep inside your sweet spot, and you two filled the van with the sounds of your guttered moans and slapping skins. 

Growing agitated, Wooyoung slammed his hand on the front dash of the van to grab both your attention. “Hey! Wrap it up already, I got shit to do!” He waved the wads of cash in his hand so that San could see. 

“Shut up or it’s my cock down your throat next!” San huffed, his thrusts getting harder and faster. San always respected Wooyoung, but his obedience would disappear the moment he’d stuff his cock inside of you. There was no way of getting him to listen now, and Wooyoung knew that. Annoyed with his distasteful words, and too exhausted to quarrel any longer, Wooyoung slumped back into his seat and started his count all over again. 

As he swiped each bill through his fingers, his eyes would occasionally glance up at the rear view mirror where he’d get a quick peek at you two. He always thought you had a pretty face, but your body was something else. He was mesmerized by the sight of your soft breasts bouncing up and down as San worked you open from behind. His gaze lingered down on to your wet cunt. He couldn’t understand how something so small and delicate could take something so big and ugly like San’s cock. Maybe it was weird to think this way, but although Wooyoung was smaller, he thought his cock looked a lot prettier than San’s. Shaking his head, he looked back down at the cash and continued his count. 

“Fuck, Sannie, f-feels so good! Gonna cum!” You cried. Your moans grew loud and raspy, and Wooyoung had no choice but to look back up at the rear view mirror. Your sounds alone made his pants tighter but seeing you rub and tug your clit while San continued fucking you made a wet spot form in his boxers. Spreading his legs, Wooyoung couldn’t help but palm over his erection while watching you in the mirror. He thought you were so tight and that you took him so well, and all he wanted to do now was cum at the same time as you. 

“Pretty baby gonna cum for me? Yeah? Gonna cum all over my cock?” San grunted into your ear. His hands slid up to your breasts, kneading them as continued thrusting. You were so wet now that Wooyoung could hear your squelches from up front, and god did it almost destroy him. He stuffed his hand into his pants, rubbed his thumb over his slit, and licked his lips as he watched you turn into more of a hot mess over San’s stiff cock. He noticed your eyes getting droopy and your breathing getting shakier. 

“Go on baby, cum for me,” Wooyoung whispered to himself. “Be a good girl and cum.” 

Right on demand, your thighs squeezed together as a rush of warmth filled up your stomach. Your whole body crunched over as you came until finally your body gave up and you fell back into San’s chest. Your legs opened up again, giving Wooyung a great view of the milky white cum leaking out of your pussy. 

“Yes, yes, yes” Wooyoung mumbled as he stroke himself. “Good girl,” he breathed as his hips jolted up. Your leaky cunt was the last push he needed to cum, forcing him to press his eyes shut and use his free hand to cover his mouth to mask his moans. Once he finished, he carefully peeled his eyes back open and hesitantly looked up at the same mirror, relief rushing over him when he realized neither of you noticed. 

“Good fucking girl” San praised, striking your sensitive cunt with his hand. You yelped at the impact before giving him a giggly kiss. 

Up front, Wooyoung cringed seeing you two kiss. He felt good during his orgasm, but now he was annoyed again. Annoyed with the failed exchange, annoyed with the late delivery person, and annoyed with the fact that he has to sit around in his soiled underwear while listening to you two smooch each other’s faces off. He thought it was more insufferable than hearing you two have sex. 

“Offer’s still on the table, you know,” San winked teasingly. Wooyoung saw San looking back at him in the rear view mirror, a smug look plastered over his face as you kissed along his neck. Wooyoung’s face wrung up in a scowl once he remembered the gross comment San made to him earlier. 

“Fuck off.” 

[moonstruckme]

i recently started following you and i absolutely love your writing! you have such great talent!

no pressure at all and feel free to scream at me if this is out of your boundaries (i read ur guidelines so it shouldn’t be but you never know). I’m curious if you could write reader with literally anyone, just in denial that they like them. like she used to go out with really shifty guys and is just appalled that this person actually likes them

(this definitely isn’t self-indulgent at all….)

Thanks for requesting baby! (I would never scream at you lmao) I did this with dealer Eddie, hope that's alright :)

cw: weed, mention of transactional sex

dealer!Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words

Eddie’s grinning big when he opens the door to his trailer. He takes off his headphones, hanging them around his neck. You can hear Black Sabbath still playing from the speakers. 

“Hey.” His voice has a slightly raspy quality to it, and you wonder if he’s been singing or smoking. “You lookin’ for a fix, pretty?” 

You grasp the strap of your bag self-consciously, forcing a bouncy “yep” past your lips. Eddie’s got a way of saying things that makes you feel awkward and flighty, like your heart might lurch right out of your ribcage at any moment. It should be routine by now, but you’ll probably never get over it. 

Eddie only nods and opens the door further, inviting you in. He sets a hand on your back as you go by, and you try not to look as shy as the touch makes you feel. 

“Same as usual?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” You lean against the counter while he crosses the room to the drawer where he keeps his stash. 

You’ve been coming to Eddie for years now. You weren’t exactly friends in high school but you were always friendly, and every time you leave his place you’re freshly shocked by the realization that you actually really like him. You appreciate that he keeps it business. Well, as business as anything can be with Eddie. Flirting is just part of the package, but he doesn’t try to smoke your stuff after he sells it to you and doesn’t seem to expect anything other than money in return. Shitty as it sounds, a dealer like that can be hard to come by in your experience.

“I’ve been missing you, sweet thing,” he says, taking out a big zip lock bag of bud and a smaller one to portion yours into. “Thought you might’ve found someone else to keep you happy.” 

You don’t respond for a second, and Eddie’s head tilts up from where he’s picking through the bag, eyebrows going up in intrigue.

“I was seeing this guy for awhile,” you say, looking sideways out the window. “He got pre-rolls from someone else, and he’d let me have them sometimes.” 

“Well shit, I can roll for you if it’ll keep you coming over.” 

You look at Eddie in surprise. He grins at you, jutting his chin towards the couch. 

“Sit down, I’ll get you set up.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” you say. 

“Gotta keep my favorite customer happy, don’t I?” You don’t move, and his smile softens into something more genuine. “It’s no problem, just sit down. Tell me about this guy. Does he treat you right?” 

You follow directions, going to sit on the less saggy and dingy-looking of the couch cushions while Eddie bends over the counter across from you. “Not really,” you say indifferently. As if thinking about it doesn’t send a dull ache blooming through your middle. “We aren’t together anymore.” 

Eddie glances up at you, something odd flitting across his expression. “That sucks,” he says bluntly. “I’m sorry. I mean, it sounds like he sucked, so I guess I’m not sorry that it’s over even if I’m sorry that you’re sad. Are you sad?” 

A little laugh startles out of you. “Not really,” you say, and it’s halfway to honest. You’d been sad to break up with him, but Eddie is right; he sucked. You’re not really sad it’s over either. 

“Good.” He nods, appeased. “Thought I’d have to go beat someone up or something.” 

You snort, and Eddie’s mouth drops open in offense. He looks back down at the roll, sticking his tongue in his cheek as he shakes his head.

“Feels like you’re not taking my threat of vengeance super seriously.” 

“No, I am,” you laugh. “I am, it’s just—you don’t seem like someone who wins a ton of fights.” 

“Ah!” He clutches a fist over his heart, looking at you in absolute betrayal. “So little faith! I’ve fought worse monsters than your jilted beaux, okay?” 

You roll your eyes. “I’m guessing it’s a little different in real life than in your game.” 

Eddie pauses for a half a second, and you wonder if you’ve gone too far in your teasing, but then he bends back over the table, bringing the paper to his mouth. “Right.” He runs his tongue quickly across the roll. “Well, anyway, I have a spear in my garage if you want me to give it a try.” 

You smile at the thought of Eddie jabbing his (in your imagination, plastic and nerdy) spear at your most recent ex. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m good,” you say. 

He shrugs. “Your loss. I’d have taken off my shirt for the battle, but I guess you’ll have to get that show another time.” 

You laugh, crossing your legs as he starts on another roll. “Hey, you don’t actually have to roll all this,” you say. “I won’t stop coming to you.” 

“I don’t mind it,” he replies, packing the next with easy, practiced movements. “Unless you’re in a rush or something. Do you have to go?” 

“No, I’m…I’m good.” You’ve never spent this long at Eddie’s place before. It’s usually that you show up, he gives you a bag, you pay, and you leave. You’ve never taken much time to survey the trailer, the way Eddie moves around the cramped furniture with such ease or the way the windows let in just enough light to make his skin look softer and his eyes browner. “You can leave half of it, though, if that’s okay. I’ve still got a bowl at home.” 

“Whatever you want.” He keeps his focus downward, ringed fingers moving carefully. “You know, I’ve actually kind of missed having you come around.” 

“You said that already.” You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, smiling even though he’s not looking. “I told you I’ll keep coming back, Eddie, you don’t have to butter me up.” 

His gaze flicks to you, eyebrows rising on his forehead. “I’m not,” he says.

Something about his tone has the hairs raising on the back of your neck. You keep intentionally still as a slight chill goes through you. 

“I like hanging out with you.” He shrugs, looking back at his roll. “Would you want to hang out again soon?” 

You hesitate. “I…don’t think I’ll be needing any more for a bit.” 

“Well, ideally you wouldn’t be here to buy.” 

For a second, you’re confused, and then realization and dread collide in your gut with enough force to make you nauseous. The disappointment is more potent than either of them. 

“Oh.” Maybe Eddie isn’t so different from the other dealers you’ve had after all. “Um, I just feel like I’ve always paid in cash…” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow, and then his entire face contorts. “Christ—no.” He drops the finished roll, holding up his palms as if to ward you off. “Not that! Ew—I mean—” His hands go to his head. “—not ew, like you’re not ew, I just—gah.” He drops his head back, and his fingers disappear into his hair, making fists. He looks almost pained. “I like you. Like, I’m not trying to have sex with you right now. Not that sex wouldn’t be cool—we could if you wanted to—but that’s not what I’m getting at.” 

He blows out a big breath, hands dropping to his knees, and looks you in the eye. 

“Can we just forget about the weed for a second?” he asks, sounding nearly desperate. “I’m trying to ask you on a date. Not to get you to fuck me for drugs.” Your mouth drops open, but Eddie keeps going. “And if you don’t want to go out, that’s totally cool. Very respectable, honestly. It doesn’t have to affect anything.” He presses his lips together. “I didn’t mean to say you were ew. I’m sorry.” 

You’re too shell-shocked to even laugh. You have whiplash. But now he’s looking at you with his big eyes all expectant, and you feel like you have to say something. 

“A date?” you ask. 

“Uh, yeah.” He leans against the counter, looking a bit awkward but somehow all the more endearing for it. “Like, to the arcade or maybe dairy queen or something—I don’t know, you can pick.” 

“And you…don’t want to have sex.” 

“I don’t not want to have sex,” he clarifies. “But, uh, we don’t have to at all. Like, only if you want to, and definitely not if you think it’s some sort of…” Eddie winces “...transaction.” 

You nod slowly, and now there’s a smile tugging persistently at your lips. “That sounds good,” you say. “The date part.” 

“Yeah?” His head picks up. “Really?”

You smile. “Yeah. Are you sure?” 

“Am I sure?” Eddie guffaws. “Yeah, I’m pretty fucking sure. I’m getting a much better deal here. But no take-backs,” he says quickly, and his grin widens when you laugh. “Are you free tomorrow?” 

“Um, yeah.” You think for a second, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing tomorrow.” 

“Great.” Eddie presses his lips together like he’s trying to contain the full scope of his smile. He pushes his fingers into the countertop. “Okay, forget everything from today. I’m gonna be such a fucking gentleman when I pick you up tomorrow, you probably won’t even recognize me.”

[p3sephone]

Baby, 2. (Dark! Ex! Wanda x reader)

Masterlist serie

Summary: you are Wanda's ex and you broke up with her a long time ago. Then Wanda decides it's a good idea to become your neighbor and take her baby back, one way or another.

Warnings: this is a dark! Serie about Wanda Maximoff that will contain dark themes such as violence, breaking in, non-con and similar stuff in the future chapters. Every chapter will have its own warnings to be safe. This is pure fiction and this character does not belong to me. Minors are NOT allowed, only +18. Any kind of interactions such as reblogs, comments or likes are much welcome and appreciated. This character doesn't belong to me.🤎

Chapter's warnings: stalking, use of magic against reader, forced touching, forced kissing, reader is simply terrified, implicit past kidnapping and abusive relationship. Hope you enjoy and let me know. ♥��

It was already evening, but you had finally taken everything you needed. The groceries, the new tools to fix some defects in the house, and even some pillows that you had loved at first sight. You smiled as you walked with the bags towards your parked car, breathing in the fresh air.

The small smile on your face almost immediately collapsed when, getting closer and closer to the car, you also noticed a reddish detail near it. You knew that she would not give up easily, from the moment she broke into your house you had understood that you would have to fight tooth and nail to make her understand to stay away, and you were also fully aware that the law could not help you against her. In short, you were alone, but you were also alone years ago. You encouraged yourself: it would be okay this time too.

You cleared your throat to have a firmer and more decisive tone, and above all one of disappointment.

"Can I help you?"

Wanda tilted her head, looking you up and down, a playful smile and a mischievous look on her face. She was standing near the passenger door, and you didn’t trust yourself to open the doors until she was gone.

“I just wanted to talk a little, we’re close now and… I did some shopping too!” she showed you a bag in her right hand, waiting hopefully for your answer. Her facade was so well done, so bright.

“I don’t think I will, and you know why. Please, step away from my car, I have to go home.” Your tone was even harsher than you thought, and you almost didn’t believe you were the one speaking. You were strangely proud of yourself.

Wanda’s facade soon began to crumble. With an icy calm she placed the bag on top of your car, then walked around and finally approached you. Now you were starting to feel more nervous, less confident and smaller. That feeling of being insignificant, of being… afraid. You didn't want to remember her, but she was there and she was grabbing you from the inside, even your bags now seemed too heavy to hold.

Her eyes flashed red as she approached you, and she placed a hand on your face, gently.

"Are you sure you want to play this game with me? You know that that is not your home, you know that you are meant for me, and yet you continue to treat me… like this. You hurt me." she continued to caress your face with such delicacy, but her gaze almost showed hatred. She was getting tired of your games, she wanted you back, and if you didn't understand it the right way, you would understand it the wrong way.

"I don't mean to hurt you, I just… I don't want to be with you." you shouldn't have given up, you had to stand up, look her in the eyes and keep that tone.

Wanda almost laughed in your face.

"Do you really think you have a choice?" you frowned at that question.

"I want to live my life, and my life is without you because it's better this way. We tried before and last time I barely escaped-"

Wanda cut you off before you could continue, deciding to literally shut you up. It wasn't something you could fight anyway, but she was just tired of all the blah blah blah. And besides, she admitted that the look of terror on your face when you realized you literally couldn't talk anymore just did the right thing for her.

Wanda found herself treating you with affection again, putting the bags down and cupping your wind-cold face with both of her hands. There was no one in the parking lot, luckily for her, less of a problem. It was just you and her, like she'd always wanted. She ignored your scared, sad look and focused on what was missing: everything.

She let her hands move down your body, to your neck, then trace your collarbones and shoulders. Then she moved to your hips, how she loved those hips. She couldn't resist any longer, she really missed you too much. She planted a soft kiss on your lips, ignoring the single tear that fell down your cheek.

It had to be just one, she had promised herself that this time it would be different. It wasn't like she was literally forcing you with her powers to come back and then locking you away, this time she had to make you understand that you belonged together. So she let you go, but not before making one thing clear.

"You can run away as much and as much as you want, I'll find you anyway and bring you back to me."

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: YOU GUYS. You guys. I feel like this is one of the hottest fucking things I've ever written. I've been so strung out on Ushiwaka from Haikyu!! lately - like, literally. I think about him while I'm working. It's fucking absurd (I realize this). But I have tried to write something for the last 3 days. Maybe 4 or 5 different tries. And then I heard this AMAZE-BALLS audio today and it's like the damn stars aligned. And here we are, friends. I hope you like this.

C/W ::: Wakatoshi Ushijima x F.reader (chubby reader - because I fucking said so). It's kinda cheesy. But my god. I'd do almost anything to have this man standing before me. Also, I don't want to get into this shit because I'm lazy tonight. If you were tagged and didn't want to be tagged in Haikyu!! stuff you're a dumbass. Just kidding! Tell me and I'll make a note of that somewhere. If you want to be tagged in future writings of this nonsensical whimsy, send me a message and I'll make a note of that somewhere. So ...

MDNI AFTER THE CUT PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

WC ::: 1,072 (about 2 3/4 pages).

Can't stop thinking about Ushijima.

Thinking about him kissing you so softly, despite being so much larger than you. He handles you like you're fine china. Like you'd break if he were any more thorough. The way his hands roam the dip in your waist, how they seek out the soft warmth of your belly pudge.

How he runs his hands down the lower half of your back and suddenly grabs your ass and hoists you up onto the front of his body.

It happens so quickly that all you have time to process is how you're practically being held up by his cock. Like a little ledge you're resting on. So precariously.

How you're grinding against it as he holds you close, how he's nipping at your ear and muttering about how good you feel so close to him.

You moan and lean into his touch as you rut against him. Your hips pretty much doing their own thing. You can't help it.

His breath against your skin - just the way he  breathes  on you is making you irreparably wet.

And then suddenly, he's moving you again. Carrying you, really. To the bedroom. He lays you down gently, hovering over you.

He pulls back just long enough to take off his shirt, and you realize it's the first time you've seen him like this. With wild abandon in his eyes, staring you down as he begins to unbutton his jeans.

You're practically panting at this point. Your cunt throbbing with the need to be filled. And then it's there. 

Ushijima's cock.

You'd seen it before, but never up close. It's so thick and veiny, and you're a little scared of how it's going to fit inside you, but you want it more than anything.

He climbs back on top of you, kissing you again, his tongue searching yours out as he slowly,  so slowly sinks into you.

You gasp and moan as he fills you up, stretching your walls in a way you didn't know was possible. It's just on the edge of painful, but the pleasure that radiates through you from having him inside you is enough to keep you from pulling away.

Even if you wanted to, he wouldn't let you go anywhere. His grip on your smaller body is nothing short of a pleasant vice. And he's not even holding onto you with all of his strength. You can tell.

Ushijima starts to move inside of you, and you feel yourself melting under his touch. He's fucking you with a gentle urgency. Like he wants to savor every thrust but also desperately wants to release this pent up craze within him.

You're getting lost in the rhythm of his movements. The sound of skin slapping skin and the way his breath catches as he fucks you.

The pain from your legs being spread so wide to accommodate his significant body is nothing but an afterthought now. 

You start to feel a warmth building up inside you, and you realize you're going to cum soon.

You try to say something but he interrupts your confession with one of his own. "I want to cum inside you," he whispers, his lips against your ear.

Your eyes go wide at his words, but before you can protest, you feel his cock twitch inside you.

"Wait, I'm not -" But it's too late. He's already cumming. You feel his hot seed filling you up, and you're so overwhelmed that you can't help but cum with him.

Your cunt clenches up so tight around him that he moans and shudders, rolling his hips against yours again and again.

His breathing is heavy, and you can feel his cock hardening against you.

You lock eyes with him, and he looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He wraps his long arms around you, pulling you on top of him.

You straddle him, taking him inside you again. He's even bigger than before. You sink down onto him, feeling his cum squish out of you.

He starts to thrust up into you, his hands gripping your hips with a newfound possessiveness.

You ride him like this, your eyes never leaving his. You can see the desperation in his face, the need to be connected to you in this way. It's so intense, and it sends shockwaves of pleasure through you.

You lean over and kiss him, your tongues meeting, and he moans into your mouth. You're so close to cumming again, and you can feel him getting close too.

You grip onto his shoulders, holding on for dear life as he fucks you harder and faster. Hitting every spot inside of you that you never knew existed.

He leans up, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking on it as he fucks you.

It's too much. You're cumming again, and you can feel your walls clenching around him, milking him for all he's worth.

Seconds later, his hands are flat on your back, pulling you close to him. He's pounding up into you with a depravity that makes you want to give up every facet of control you have left of yourself over to him.

And then he's cumming again, his seed filling you up even more than before.

He's breathing hard, his face buried in your neck. His body is wrapped around you so tightly, as though he can't bear to let you go.

You feel content. So safe with him. Like you could stay like this forever.

He pulls out of you, and you feel his cum dripping down your thighs.

He smiles at you, and tsks. "Look at this little mess we've made. I'd better clean it up before it gets all over the sheets."

He kisses you once more, his tongue darting out to taste your lips. And then he's down between your legs, his tongue licking you clean.

He's so gentle, so soft, you almost forget how intense it was just a moment ago. But then he's back up, his lips on yours, and you can taste yourself on him.

You fall asleep in his arms, so utterly spent that you can't keep your eyes open.

But you know that you'll wake up to him kissing your neck, his cock already hard and ready for you again.

And you pray to any God that will hear you that this cycle will never end.

@mackenziebrooks (I hope it's ok to tag you!) @romantichomicide95 (sorry babe, you're in my sights cuz you've seen this!) @arlerts-angel @darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa @southside-otaku @viburnt @bakubunny (this should be next on your to-watch list, Bunny!) @reiners-milkbiddies (tell me to stop if you only want TokRev stuff!) @trevengersprincess (you can tell me to stop, too, if you only want TR stuff) @hanmaslilslut (taking a shot in the dark here - I saw you posted other Haikyu!! stuff!)

[urban-shade]

my random miscellaneous sebastian headcanons. readmore because its a LOT

current

i was thinking about if he'd use special sebastian shaped emoticons like .:} and }:. and im honestly 50/50 i can see him thinking they're funny but i can also see him not wanting to think about the fact that he's a fish now and no longer human

in general i think he has a lot of identity issues. He literally NEVER brings up the fact that he is fish-esque besides telling us that he's not going to hurt us, and telling us items are on his tail. I think if he was more comfortable with his identity he might occasionally crack a joke but I think deep down he has a mask up emotionally where he tries to forget about it all.

and that mask CRACKS a little when players repeatedly climb on him!! it brings back hard memories for him and that's the most upset we ever hear him.. he doesn't even get that upset when he kills you for flash beaconing him twice.. you can fucking hear the hurt in gianni's voice acting and its just SO . AGH.

past / pre-breakout

i like thinking about what they had him get up to as an LR-P and MR-P a lot. What if they had him assemble furniture to get him used to his new 3rd arm. He thinks he's getting new furniture for his cell but then they take it away and put it in the break room and he gets SO ANNOYED. Then the 2nd furniture they have him do he assembles it and then throws it at the observation room at the top of his cell.

He'd get a game console for like one day to ensure his mental capabilities are the same as before the experimentation and for like 2 years after that day he misses his video games until he gets to play games again when he's promoted to MR-P

I feel like near the very start of things just to get a whole overview of like everything that's changed about him even if gills is only what they really gaf about (million dollar fish might as well see what your money did) they'd be testing a lot of basic stuff. Like taste. And they'd give him some normal food of different types of tastes to see if he's lost any taste receptors and he'd be like so happy but then intentionally one of the foods is really bad. And he gets so mad

i headcanon he did dual enrollment (college+hs) since he switched his college major from business to engineering and he's only 19. And that he was a massive nerd... unfortunately his fishtuation has changed him :(

there is a massive urbanshade in-network group chat/email chain for the scientists. There are a lot of inside jokes and a lot are at sebastians expense

i feel like he got food requests on his birthdays. The highlight of his years

His first request for birthday food was like a recipe his mom made a lot and he got it and it was horrible and barely seasoned because urbanshade is the worst and also they are in Norway and he is NOT going to get properly cooked authentic chilean food. And he never requested chilean food again :( Didn't want to be disappointed

post game

i don't think he truly realizes how big he is and if he ever gets a real human frame of reference he's going to get extremely upset about it (if he was already on edge from something else.. he's practiced at hiding/burying his emotions). The blacksite doesn't have a ton of normal size comparison things for him besides smaller human objects and humans themselves, everything is sorta larger than life there and he might feel quite big but I don't think he has a proper idea of the real scale.

Even if he escapes, even if he could deal with all the problems that come from being a snake/mermaid/fishmonster guy. He is still way too big to fit in any normal human spaces. He is truly screwed unless he can get turned back human by innovation inc...

even if he does get turned back human by innovation inc he's going to have to relive his trauma all over again. i think about that a lot

i think he'd also be conflicted on turning back human like it's the one thing he's wanted for the past 10 years but also.. He's been like this for so long.. he doesn't really feel like Sebastian the kid with a guitar that liked Metallica. He's Sebastian Solace the Saboteur… The dangerous fish man who's been forced to kill a few people out of necessity (and indirectly cause the deaths of a few hundred others)

i think he'd get phantom limb pains from his 3rd arm if he lost it in the human transformation. Like he isn't even supposed to HAVE that arm as a person and yet his brain still expects it to be there. He keeps trying to use it and then it's gone

When he first meets his family again for the first time after he escapes I think he wouldn't be human yet. Before he lets them see him he like speaks to them from behind a door or something… To try and prepare them. He's really nervous about seeing them all again because he absolutely cares about them just the same but he just feels like an outsider now.. he's changed so much

All he wants is to get back to a normal life but, normal human life doesn't feel normal to him anymore. He almost misses the monotony of the blacksite. I feel like innovation inc would take a few months-year to get him turned back and he might try working for them in that time to try and adjust to being out of urbanshade since it feels familiar to him and they're more equipped to deal with a giant fish man than his family's home. But ever so often things there remind him of urbanshade and he goes back to feeling like he's about to be shot on sight.

biology

silver spiny fins are some of the best vertebrates at seeing color in low light conditions! i think he has that trait from them

mantis shrimp like to burrow. I think he has some kind of instinct where he feels more at home in small enclosed spaces (he loves blankets)

what if his upper body had sandpaper shark scales. i dont want to put him through that because can you imagine putting on a cotton shirt with sandpaper skin???? too cruel. but its fun to think about

i think he molts but its only like once a year. The first time he does it he has like absolutely no idea that's what's happening he's just like insanely itchy or something and then he realizes his tail skin has PEELED OFF and he's like (HORRIFIED) but then realizes what's going on . And then it takes forever for him to get it all off and he just stares at it like Eugh after

the second time he realizes he can use the shed to screw with the researchers. Researcher walks in his heavy containment cell in the morning and there's just like a massive translucent crumpled version of him in the corner and they just scream before realizing 2 seconds later

the scientists have a sped up video of him molting to metallica music like how people post timelapses of their snakes shedding

[brooooswriting]

can you do 6 for tara x fem reader :)

6. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you”

Tara jolted up again in the middle of night, the threat she and her sister got two days ago making her nightmares reappear. You were already awake, unable to sleep at the thought of something or other someone hurting your girlfriend. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe. Nobody is here” you mumbled as you engulfed her in a hug, you had left the bedroom door open so you could see the front door and you had checked each window and each room before going to bed. Plus Mindy, Chad and Anika slept in the living room.

“Why are you even awake?” The brunette asked once she calmed down and noticed the open book on your lap and the small lamp glowing. She was still leaning against you, not making any move to leave your warm and comforting embrace.

“Oh you know, can’t sleep every once in a while” you lied with a rather believing smile but thinking you could fool her was stupid. You had always lied easily and people fell for it, until Tara came along. First of all, you found it incredibly hard to lie to her and second of all, she always saw through you. Her raised eyebrow made you press your lips into a thin line before speaking up again.

“Okay, I wanted to be able to look out for you. You know, make sure nobody enters and stuff” you admitted in a small voice while Tara sighed.

“I’ve been thinking…” she started, suddenly scooting away from you. This was the first bad sign, normally the smaller girl wouldn’t turn down cuddles for anything. “We should break up. This is dangerous and I don’t want you involved” she blurted out, pulling her knees up to her chest. Your heart broke at her words and at the way she looked so miserable. For a second you were scared that she really didn’t want you around anymore and that this was just the best opportunity she had at pushing you away, but the tears forming in her eyes quickly changed your mind.

“No” was the only thing you said, as you laid back down on the bed pulling the blanket up to your chest.

“No?” She questioned, confusion showing in every feature. If the situation wasn’t so bad you would have laughed.

“No. I’m not going to let you go through this alone again. This time I’m here and you can’t stop me” you told her, keeping your voice very nonchalant. Your arms opened for her to crawl into since you hoped that she would just drop the whole topic and go back to sleep. If someone really wanted to hurt them than they needed all of their energy.

“Why?”

“What why?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you and before I met you I was an asshole, I lied and I did a lot of stupid shit but then you came and suddenly my image of a perfect Saturday night changed from parties and hookups to watching horror movies with you and cuddling while ordering take out. I finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And truth be told I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you” even though cheese shit like that wasn’t really your thing this had to be said. There was no way you were loosing this girl if there was any, literally any way to stop this.

Tara quickly wiped away the tears that left her eyes and threw herself into your arms that were more than happy to engulf her. “If you die, I’m going to kill you and them” she said against your chest making you giggle as your hand weaved through her hair.

“That’s my girl” you said proudly and pressed a kiss to her hair. After some reassurance she finally fell asleep, soft breaths hitting your neck. You still didn’t really sleep that night, you were going to protect your girl and her family with every bit that you had. Even if it might mean that you weren’t going to survive.

A girl like Tara was worth it!

[hugintheraven]

How to fix Amy Dallon

This is mostly me getting my thoughts in order. I doubt I will ever write Amy fix-it fic, but I want to have this just in case.

So the thing is, I don't think wretching Victoria was inevitable, far from it. That took a very specific set of circumstances. HOWEVER, "Amy does something selfish and harmful with her power that she can't fix, spirals and blames herself, does worse stuff in response"? I think that was fairly likely.

The problem is...a problem is...the various problems are...well I'll simplify. First, she has no support structure. Mark is useless, Carol is actively exacerbating her issues, and the rest of the family is their own kettle of fish. Victoria is the only person looking out for Amy, which quite aside from how that affects Amy, means that when Amy is in trouble, she turns to Victoria for help. If Victoria isn't around, then Amy has literally no one. Any friends she has are friends through Victoria, and I doubt the teenage superhuman is on friendly terms with her coworkers at the hospital(though seriously the professionals there should have noticed her issues LONG AGO).

Then we have Amy's power. Which is pushing her to use it in aggressive, selfish, and harmful ways. She's holding that off through sheer force of will, but that's not sustainable.

There's also her physical and mental limits. She's working her power to the limit normally, not sleeping, and straining herself to do more. Which isn't good at the best of times, let alone long-term.

All of which is tied up with the psychological issues package, her self-hate, feelings of inadequacy, severe dichotomous view of the world, etc.

Her crush on Victoria is a problem for her, don't get me wrong. But I don't think it's at all the main source, or even a significant chunk, of what was needed for Amy to screw up SOMETHING.

Here's what I see as needed for Amy to end up going villain(in her eyes and possibly the eyes of the law): A significant crisis that strains her control further, and Amy not being able to talk to Victoria about it. That's it. That leads to Amy losing control of her power and not having anyone around to keep her from doubling down. The specific circumstances in canon(she screws up Victoria, after a month of fighting with her family, post-Endbringer, and then her downfall is pushed along by Jack Slash) is what led to the Victoria flesh-coffin etc, but "Amy breaks someone she can't fix, freaks out, makes things worse" was a pretty logical place for her to end up given...everything.

So how can this be avoided? We can't stop constant crises from occurring, this is Brockton Bay. And the longer things go, the more tired she gets, thus the smaller the needed crisis would be. And fixing her mental issues probably takes a team of professionals a few years.

Step one, therefor, is bulking up her support structure. Doesn't matter if it's Taylor, Lisa, a SI char, having Amy join the Wards/Travellers/Uber and Leet/a book club, whatever. Just have her talking about her life on a regular basis to SOMEONE who she isn't related to. Preferably more than one person, otherwise there's still a risk of her turning a child into a Nilbog creation while her new friend and Victoria are both busy.

Next, we remove her from some of her sources of stress(meaning Carol). Anything you try to do while Carol is still around will just be undone by Carol's pressures.

THEN we introduce the team of professional head-shrinkers. This could happen earlier, since a therapist is one more person Amy can call with "I just screwed up", but I distrust Carol's reaction to her disliked daughter seeking professional help. (and it doesn't have to be a professional TBH, just someone to help work through her issues, but a professional is both trained in not making things worse and also is disconnected from the broader cape community, which lets them be objective in a way that, say, Lisa isn't).

Now I don't think this stops Amy from eventually losing control of her power and hurting someone. And she probably still can't fix it, her shard is canonically a dick. There's enough crises in the Bay to both make her overwork and to make her break her rules at some point, even if it's not specifically the S9 who does it. But if she screws up when she has multiple people she can call for advice, when she's been away from Carol's additional stress, and when someone's been unpacking her list of issues, I think further damage could be prevented and Amy could keep helping people despite the bumps.

[gettinshiggywithit]

「“ᴍʀ & ᴍʀꜱ”」

Scenario :- “hmmm what about something like being kuni's housewife idk i just want him to come home and eat my meals” ( @diagonal-queen )

Pairing :- kunikida x wife!reader

Genre:- fluff!

Type:- headcannons!

TW:- mentions of sex but no actual nsfw!

A/N :- here’s a little something i did for @diagonal-queen!Hope y’all like it!

Okayyy so you wanna be MRS kunikida huh?

Let’s see what it’ll be like!

First off if you actually make the cut? Congratulations!

You’ve effectively beat out 99.99% of the women population 😭

But no fr if u and Kunikida actually get hitched that means you are his perfect person.

No matter what flaws you have or you think you have,to him it’s all immaterial.

And if you ever get down,remember he chose you!

If you guys get hitched and you wanna be a housewife he’s all for it!

Its very classic, if u know what i mean.

And he kinda likes that at least this one thing could be simple(in his not-at-all-simple life)

Let’s go back to your wedding day shall we?

Okay imagine after a beautiful ceremony yall go back to your room and then have the most romantic night ever.

Just you and him in each other’s company~

After that you move into his apartment and settle down.

Kunikida is a hard working lad so he most probably won’t be around much after your honeymoon.

He goes to work everyday without fail and comes back home to you,also without fail. (Although sometimes he’s a little more scraped up and scarred than usual)

He texts you to see if you’re okay during his breaks and always lets you know when he’s goin on a mission and where.

If he needs to cut communications cos it could interfere with the mission,he tells you and reassures you that everything would be alright

And honestly youre only worried about his and his colleagues safety.

Cos like let’s be real, a relationship with Kunikida would be secure af! Because we all KNOW he would never cheat!

On days where he gets days off he still works at home🥲 (im sorry but buddy NEEDSS to have his stuff in order

But when he’s done he spends his time with you.

Whether it be baking,watching a movie or your favorite show,or just cuddling or vibing,yall are together.

And lemme tell you mans is talll

He’d be the big spoon when cuddling btw!

Oh and on days when he does work he looks forward to coming home to you and unwinding~

Oh and he LOVESS your cooking!

It reminds him of his childhood and it’s just that good.

One time you suggest packing him some lunch for work and he later got sooo much shit from dazai (that bandaged bugget was making kissy faces and shit and jusy not letting mans eat!)

One time dazai sneaks a bite and then he’s like “okay yeah no i get it now”

(buddy takes a bite and says, serious as ever, “Kunikida…this food is truly magnificent! Please tell y/n to make me some on the day before my suicide🥰. He gets promptly whacked on the head☺️)

Oh and this man can COOK

in any instance where youre tired or dont feel like cooking,mans has got it!

Makes a simple yet delicious meal and astounds you~

OH! And imagine for your anniversaries he gives you a card and as you open it he says “doppo poet!” And he turns it into a mini bouquet! (And when i say mini,i mean it.remember guys he can only summon stuff that are smaller than or the size of his notebook!)

Oh and he never forgets important dates😌

He’s a little new to romance but is surprisingly good!

And when it comes to more intimate times, he knows exactly what to do and how to make it enjoyable for the both of you

(ROMANCE AND/OR EROTICA READING KUNIKIDA!!!!)

And in conclusion,

He’d literally be the best husband ever.all parents wish their daughters could marry him

And here you were! Doing just that!

I wish y’all the best frr♥️♥️

Tagging: - @kemis-world @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Dabi is starting to suspect Hawks is looking down on him, or even worse; pitying him.

It’s fucking infuriating.

It started out small, with things he barley noticed.

The only reason he did was that he was so good at his job, which was currently watching the stupid bird’s every move.

Just work stuff.

Anyways, the first things Dabi noticed was how Hawks always fucking… hovered around him.

Not in a nosey way, but in an almost nervous way.

Like he thought Dabi was gonna break in two if a gust of wind hit him or something.

Then it was the food.

Stupid bird, always bringing «extra food he had left over», as if Hawks ever had any left over food.

One especially chilly night they were out keeping watch over something, the stupid hero even tried to give Dabi his ugly ass hero jacket.

It took all of Dabi’s self control not to light the thing on fire.

It all made Dabi even more snippy and short tempered than usual, and everyone was getting tired of it.

Except Hawks, who somehow didn’t seem to notice at all.

This whole thing might have gone on forever, if it weren’t for the last straw breaking during a small confrontation with some low level thugs.

Hawks and Dabi had been standing side by side as the thugs were getting fired up, and Dabi was getting bored and ready to just put an end to this.

But just as he got ready to move, Hawks stepped in front of him with a feather blade in hand, wrapped a wing around Dabi and pushed him to the side as he scared the idiots who ran off right away.

«What the fuck, Hawks?!» Dabi spat as he spun around to face the hero.

Hawks looked like he had no clue what Dabi was referring to.

«What? Were they secret friends of yours of something?» he asked with a grin.

Dabi didn’t laugh.

«Listen here little bird,» Dabi growled as he stepped closer to the dumbfounded bird.

«I know I’m not some big strong hero, and that I’m literally falling apart at the seams,» he continued, voice low as he ended up caging the smaller man against the brick wall.

Hawks just looked up at him with big, confused eyes, mouth agape.

«but that does NOT give you the right to fucking pity me, to act like I’m some little civillian needing your saving!»

When he finished, his face was so close to Hawks’ that the only thing he can see is the gold of his eyes.

A small, startled noise makes it way out of Hawks’ mouth, and Dabi takes a small step back and looks at him like he grew an extra head.

«Did you just fucking CHIRP at me?!»

Hawks threw his glowed hands over his mouth as his face flushed red.

«No!» he muffled out before slowly removing his hands.

«Yea you did!» Dabi gasped, poiting an accusing finger at the others face.

The hero sighs deeply and avert his eyes.

«Maybe, yeah,» he mumbled, and Dabi shakes his head, at a loss of words.

«But I don’t think you’re weak!» Hawks says, somewhat desperatly, and grabs Dabi’s arm gently.

Dabi just huffs and rolls his eye.

«I don’t!»

Dabi slowly turns his head to look at the hero again, raising his eyebrows to keep the bird talking.

«I just… I care about you, you idiot!»

Hawks’ little outburst makes Dabi’s eyes pop open.

«You… care? About me?» the villain asks, slowly.

Hawks huffs and crossed his arms.

«Unfortunatly, yeah. But right now I’m having trouble remembering why.»

Dabi rolls his eyes, but his chest does give a little flutter.

Weird.

«First of all, I’m fucking delightful, so that’s obviously why,» Dabi says with a smalm smirk, and to his relief he hears Hawks huff out a chuckle.

«Treating me like a helpless idiot is kinda a weird way to show it tho, don’t you think?» Dabi pushes, and Hawks lets out an awkward chuckle.

«I could blame the hero thing, would you believe that?» he asks, and Dabi rolls his eyes.

«What do you think?»

Hawks sighs, and rubs the back of his neck.

A nervous habit.

«It’s a bit of a bird thing?» Hawks finally admits.

Dabi just blinks at him.

«Bird… thing?»

Hawks nods.

«Bird thing,» he says solemnly.

Dabi’s not sure what else to do, or say, or think, so at that point he just does the only thing that feels right, and grabs the silly birds pretty face and kisses him silly.

Judging by the way Hawks’ chirps into the kiss, and how his wings flutter and flap softly, that was the right move after all.

Silly fucking bird.

[mochiwrites]

hello hello, mochi!

god its been forever since i plagued your inbox with my chattering, but i hope you wouldn't mind a question?

you see, im hoping to start my first Big Fanfic Project with a properly fleshed out AU and all that, but i find myself getting super overwhelmed by the Amount of Stuff im thinking that i want to fit in! I want to have a general outline (maybe with acts, like you do!), but i also have no idea how to go about doing That D:

do you have any tips for organizing your storyline/plots? for pacing? or maybe some sneak peeks into how you do it? i only ask because the night life au is literally like a proper book series and im in Awe at how you keep track of everything and execute it so well!

no pressure to answer, of course! you could just totally ignore this if you wanted lolol

hihi!! I don't mind at all!! :D I'm sorry I couldn't get to this sooner <///3 (school has been kicking my butt </3)

so the first thing I'd probably suggest is writing everything down. it doesn't matter if it's a word, a single sentence, a whole paragraph. if you have ideas, get them down on paper--whether that be a physical piece of paper, a document, or a note in your phone, even if the ideas are something that happens a long time down the road of the story

the way that I'd go about doing an outline is taking it one chunk at a time, especially if you break up into acts. you've already got your ideas that you want to fit in written down, now the next step is figuring out the order or where everything goes. you don't necessarily have to know what goes into what arc or act, but as long as you have a general idea of the order of events that take place, it makes planning a lot easier

it's also really good to have a goal for each arc, I'll use night life as an example for that :D

arc one of night life is my introductory arc. I'm introducing the reader to this mythical world that exists alongside humanity, so I need to introduce the basic concepts (i.e. what kind of creatures exist, how magic works, what their way of life looks like). you don't need to introduce every concept at once, or go out of your way to tell the reader everything immediately. just slowly introduce what you think is relevant or important for the reader to know early on

arc two I have a focus on scar's character and building his relationship with grian and mumbo, while working up to his big betrayal at the end. aaaand of course arc three I'm focusing on the murders once more, while fixing up mumscarian's relationship again JFDHGJHGF

I've mentioned it before, but a really helpful tool for organizing notes is a program called obsidian :D it's free to use, and it's kept me. so organized with night life LMAO. for example, regarding arc one, my notes ended up looking like this:

the important thing with big, fleshed out aus, is breaking them into smaller chunks and doing things one at a time. I've got a lot that goes down in arc 3, but it's easier to look at the next three fics rather than the next seven, y'know? if you take it into smaller pieces, it's a lot less overwhelming than looking at the whole thing

as for pacing.... it's a little tricky, because everyone feels pacing a different way. for myself, I try to think about my plot beats as if the story was an episodic tv series. if I can make my pacing align with the pacing of a show, it's normally pretty good for me. but that might not work for everyone fjghfjhgfj the best piece of advice I can give for pacing is: write it out, and see how it feels while you're writing. that's kind of the only way you'll know if your pacing feels weird

it's one of those difficult ones because you can get a pretty vague idea of what the pacing looks like, but you won't know 100% until you're in the middle of writing

it's totally okay to not have everything figured out at once, or to have some missing details. you can fill those in later (and sometimes they naturally fill themselves in as you're writing!)

also !!!! because I'm a very big believer of this, and have done this multiple times with night life: if you've got a multichapter fic that has some chapters posted, and the story isn't feeling right to you anymore, or you don't like the direction it's going? it's okay to delete it and try again

I think a lot of people have this general belief in fandom that once you post a fic that's the only shot you get at it, but that's not true !! if you're two chapters into a five chapter fic, and you're writing chapter three and you realize the idea needs to be looked at again, or changed entirely, do it. that's okay. especially when working on a big, long running project like that

which leads me to, your outline is not a contract !!! the story will grow and change organically as you write more of it, and that’s alright! use the outline as a guide, not a permanent fixture. you can change your outline up as you go along :D

if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask !!! I’m more than happy to help and break down my process—especially if there’s any specific part of it that you want to ask about :D

[triptychofvoids]

Doc I'm pretty sure I have chronic fatigue (I have literally all the symptoms but I'm not currently in a place where I can get a diagnosis) do you have any advice for how to manage that. I never have the energy to do stuff outside of school and I have stuff I really need to do

diagnosis or not, there are still things you can do for yourself to make your life easier, no matter what the reason. luckily there is plenty of advice out there on how to deal with chronic fatigue, and i doubt i can name all of it but i can certainly share some!

i recommend keeping a list of things you need to get done, and perhaps break those tasks down into smaller steps if need be. often times things will be easier to tackle if they dont seem as big and you can work on one step at a time. also, having a convenient list of what you need to do can save you the mental energy of having to remember all of it! i also think this goes hand in hand with my next recommendation, which is that its ok to take as many breaks as you need! if doing a whole assignment is too difficult, you can always do a certain amount and then take a break when you need to. if its too hard to do all the dishes, maybe just do the forks and then take a break. if taking a dozen breaks in between the different steps of a task is the difference between getting it done vs getting nothing done, then its worth it.

as for making certain tasks easier for yourself, it is very situational. but some people benefit from breaking a task into smaller increments like i mentioned, or specific tasks can be modified. for example, if cooking is difficult, try to buy foods that are premade or can be made in relatively few steps, or recipes that require very little ingredients. if making your bed neatly every day completely wears you out, then you dont have to do it. if showering takes a lot of energy, look into a shower chair or maybe wiping yourself down with a washcloth instead. if its too much energy to brush your teeth every day then try just swishing some mouthwash (i think hygiene is very important so these are things i would prioritize doing well, especially taking care of your teeth, but if there are times when you are genuinely too tired for it, then a modified simple version of these things are better than nothing at all).

exercise is also something that can be very difficult with chronic fatigue, but i think its important. it wont fix all your problems of course, but it might help a little. that said, dont push yourself too much! theres no need to start running marathons by any means, but taking a little five minute walk when you can will be better than nothing. even just getting up to get water and stretch is better than nothing as well. whatever exercise or movement you are able to do without pushing yourself too hard is something i would recommend.

[racketballz]

any tips for non-stiff poses?

Here’s a couple things I do

If you’re taking from reference I think that you should attempt to use it as a SUGGESTION not as a 1 to 1 I see that a lot and it looks “correct” but often it can come off quite stiff. Try breaking down the drawing into the very basic direction it’s going in and those shouldn’t move and use those as guidelines

and this is typically if you don’t need much help with anatomy I think if you still struggle with basic form you should break the body into shapes first before you do “suggestion” one stiffness also depends on the pen you use use I use a pen that has zero line weight on it because I like the sketchy look so in that case I will add my own weight to it by adding shadows to make it a little solid(?) so I will manipulate the drawing by erasing likes adding stuff it make it blockier

This can add a direction to the drawing kinda like a purpose if you ask me! Depending on the color of the background you can back light it but if it’s like a darker than the subject black shadows can make it less borinf by pushing those parts back into space~

Another thing that takes seconds just make it more interesting is like changing perspective if the pose is already stiff as hell is raising of lowering the “camera”

all you gotta do if lasso tool it and make things bigger and somethings smaller and change to face and stuff it LITERALLY takes like 2 seconds and makes it a little more dynamic and makes it more interesting

Hope this helps! :) I have a couple other things I do but these are like the simplest to explain!

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Neuvi headcanons

MY BBGRL,,, MY LIL CUTIE MANS WHO I ADORE,,,, i love him so much he's so fuCKIng CUTE dude, lil dragon mans sksmefkhjrshefkj. i swear i'm a normal individual w/ these characters

list of current h/c's: - i feel like he's socially anxious?? like ok, listen, he's GREAT w/ any formal situation, but THE MOMENT it gets casual he PANICs on the inside bc he's like 'wait what's the right and wrong thing to say'. - following that, i feel like when he's in a casual conversation w/ ppl and starts getting panicked, i feel like he's learned to tap his cane twice on the ground to signal to any of his closer companions that he's freaking out. like a "get me out of this situation please" type deal. - this ties into my belief that he's got anxiety regarding smaller scale things. like if he makes a small mistake on something or breaks an object, he feels SO BAD and panics as he tries to figure out how to fix it.

- knowing this, i feel like he feels a bunch of emotions, he just doesn't know how to like,,, put them into words? read below - a yearning for learning,,,, actively seeks out how to label his emotions, but how does one define their feelings? Emotions are not equated to logic, and yet they're a part of human experience, so what is the method to label that which is so intangible yet so real? he doesn't know yet, but he's figuring it out and i'm so proud of him :)c - overprotective in his own way. like he's been putting a lot of stuff on his shoulders so ofc that includes him being sensitive towards people he cares about being harmed. - prideful! he doesn't think he's prideful, he just is Proud Of Things, but tbh i get a bit of a "dragon pride" vibe from him. it's silly goofy and rears up the most around certain Archons. - GOOD DAD. NEUVI IS SUCH A GOOD DAD. IF A MELUSINE COMES UP TO HIM TO TALK ABT A THING, HE IS THE MOST ATTENTIVE LISTENER. HE'LL ASK QUESTIONS, TOO, TO TRY AND LEARN MORE. oUGH i love him he's SUCH a gOOD DAD - afraid of losing everything; Neuvi didn't really realize he had so much to lose until he almost lost it, and now he's like even more scared to lose anything else. - anxious of closer connections. Neuvi wants to be closer to people; he really likes humanity, and he wants to reach out to people. but he's afraid, bc if they ever err away from the side of justice, they may end up in his court. no matter what happens, then, is him sentencing them not a form of betrayal? neuvi ponders this a lot - MOVING AWAY FROM SAD THINGS: y'all i'll be SO real, ppl are so used to Neuvillette being in Fontaine that, when he's Outside of Fontaine, unless they Know Him on a personal level, no one recognizes that he's the Iudex of Fontaine. like not even actual Fontainians register it, bc, like, why would the literal Iudex Leave his Natural Habitat of the Court of Fontaine??? - side note, average ppl are intimidated by him. like most ppl look at him and go 'if i approach him, i will be arrested for war crimes bc CLEARLY he is a PRINCE' (which is the best and funniest shit) - 'unrelated'; Neuvi doesn't talk to a lot of ppl outside of his closer friend group, i think u can understand why - such a hard worker,,, honestly probably overworks himself and doesn't even realize it. - WHICH LEADS ME TO HIS HOBBIES HEHEHHEHEHEHE - ARTIST,,, you CANNOT sit there, after Lantern Rite, and TELL ME that HE DOES NOT start looking into the arts. THIS MAN would ABSOLUTELY get into painting and poetry and shit. he likes watercolors and he ADORES POTTERY (THAT FUCKING LADLE??? I CRIED OVER IT IN MY TEAPOT FOR 30 MINUTES HELP) - loves books and stories. like seriously they're kinda actually really fun for him to read bc he sits and breaks down what is and isn't accurate abt them (crime/detective books) and he gets invested in romance books (he's CURIOUS okay??) - bc he reads Fontainian romance books, any and every romantic gesture is like,,, awkwardly sappy? like he'll do small scale things bc he's a lil nervous baby, but it's THE SAPPIEST of the sappy. - fashion lover. Listen, this man could arguably wear whatever he wants and he chose to wear THAT???? he's a fashion lover / makeup master, and i will die on this hill. - he would laugh at Cyno's jokes, but only AFTER Cyno explains them.

OKAY I,,, I THINK I DID IT,,, i had so much written i'm dying please i love him so so so much. my itty bitty squishy bbgrl i cannot wait to explain why and how he joined the party / poly it's SO silly, this entire thing is my favorite i have been yapping abt them for a MILLENIA