#but a soul isnt tangible.

[lemedstudent2021]

4 years ago when the dumbfuck (biden) won, i was a first year university student, nodding along solemnly when my family briefly discussed foreign and internal politics over our tea, pleased to be finally old enough to somewhat contribute to adult conversations.

i still clearly remember my aunt saying "well, he isnt any better [than his predecessor] but at least he cant be worse". the conversation moved on from there, but my thoughts lingered. i didnt know if i wanted to be a cynic or an optimist, so i drank my tea in silence.

--

this past year has been one of the darkest in our human history, the scale of death and destruction and pure unadulterated depravity is unmatched. it will truly be long before the world can hope to recover from the atrocious damage that has been dealt, if it ever does.

i wont go into details mainly because i havent the time nor interest in doing so, but the world to no ones surprise is changing, fast and taking a turn for the worse. it has been for years perhaps even decades now. in the grand scheme of things i mean.

for many of us this is nothing new per se, merely a tangible extension of our worst nightmares and fears, but for many others its a reign of terror of the most potent kind. one that will herald further losses, but this time around very few will be spared.

--

despite myself i did think that common sense would prevail and wed see the the fucker (trump) behind bars and hopefully dead and not- as of writing- about to win another 4 wretched years in office.

theres a sort of grim satisfaction seeing the bitch (harris) getting a big fuck you to the face, but its devastating to think that she is losing has already lost? to the biggest fuck you to the planet. i truly dont want to imagine what the world is going to look like 4 years from now. if there is anything left of the world to look at.

--

there isnt much to say or add i think. nothing i can contribute at least for the time being. i would however like to point to what jon stewart bless his soul has to say about the matter

esp at 02:15

sounds hypocritical to say after having said nothing but the worst, but i mean it when i believe that this isnt the end. to give up now is to doom ourselves and the rest of the world (and perhaps the trajectory of humanity itself, whos to say) into eternal darkness.

ive said it many a time on this blog before and ill continue to say it for as long as there is life in me; power will always be with the people. weve seen it time and time again throught history and before our eyes. we are a force to be reckoned with.

we do hold the power to change the tides, look how many countries fought with everything they had for their freedom, how many times we arose from the ruins and started building anew and with just as much fervour, how much damage we can do to the institutions that dare to transgress.

war brings out the worst in some but the best in others. this is a war, one the corrupt wage on the sanctity of our lives and human rights, one were all on the front lines of, for ourselves and those around us.

--

as cliche as it is, and i admit to it being so, our chances honestly are better when we move and act as one. dont be fooled into thinking our differences will seperate us; those in power follow the age old rule of divide and conquer & thrive when we are scattered and lost.

show them that our spirit is one and whole, prove to them that we wont give into their unjust demands. look out for one another and dont hesitate to come to each others aid. be kind to yourselves.

humanity as a whole literally and metaphorically depends on it.

Godbless & Godspeed

[puhpandas]

in the plushtergeist au Evan isnt really possessing the Fredbear plush more than his soul/spirit/ghost is just attached to it. but evan can possess it and enter it and live through it like it's his body

which he is doing a lot because he isnt tangible as a ghost and only phases through stuff but in the plush he can actually interact with Gregory and touch him

gregory basically takes him everywhere with him. evan was stuck alone for so long and Gregory wants hin to be able to stick close and not experience that silence and isolation even if for a little bit like while hes at school. so every time they go out in public Evan enters the plush and is able to tag along. Gregory added backpack straps to a dog harness and put it on fredbear so he carries him around on his back

evan stays inside the plush usually in public because of how many incidents there have been where Gregory is at the store and talking to Evan and forgetting that everyone else just sees air and thinks hes a crazy person 😭

while they're at home Evan usually stays as his spirit form because it feels better to be human, even if hes still a ghost. it's more comfortable for Gregory too

evan sleeps in the plush (he cant really sleep like a living human would but he can like. mentally sleep? like hes not actually sleeping but it's like hes just taking a break from being aware. he can snap back to reality super easily tho. he also doesn't dream) because he can actually lay down somewhere without just floating. he doesnt have his own bed but he sleeps in Gregory's because he understandably has issues with being alone and cold and not near any people so being not super aware while like that isnt good for him. so he keeps close to Gregory and Gregory himself is okay with it

evan sort of has three forms. one is just possessing something. which is usually Fredbear. another is just how he looked while he was alive as a ghost. hes transparent and still has his wounds and black eyes with tear tracks that all ghosts have but hes basically just himself. the last is his pure form with no kind of masking or altering to make himself look different. it takes effort and energy to be his human ghost form even if it's not a ton but hes in his pure form a lot of the time. it's just his soul. it's a bit inky and drippy and his whole body is black. he has blue eyes that cover the whole white and that same blue is the color of his tear tracks. anything that would resemble blood is also the same blue color

it takes way less energy to just be in his pure form so normally he looks like that. being in Fredbear takes some energy too because he has to actually try to possess it instead of it just being how it normally is. like it was with golden Freddy. hes not possessing it, just attached, so the energy he uses normally goes towards that and then he sticks to his pure form. but he likes to feel as human as possible so half the time he'll be in his human spirit form because it feels better

hes comfortable with Gregory tho so he doesnt feel as inhuman as he would normally as his pure form

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

another one!! 🪳

recommend a great AU!

this took me too long to answer excuse mwah <3 sorry i couldnt resist asdhjash such a stupid joke

with you from dusk by katharija. WOH modern au, chronic pain, unspecified chronic illness, angst, trust issues, vulnerability, grief/mourning, sharing a bed, T. i literally just finished rereading it this morning! a brief glance at wenzhou's early days, but set in modern day. im very weak for conversations in the dark, after some guards have been lowered and possibilities to live your life a different way, a better way, seem tangible. there is also a sequel to this!

hunger by lastembers. WOH modern au, chronic pain, unspecified chronic illness, referenced cannibalism, canon-typical violence, domesticiation of a monster, M. also a fic i finished rereading the other day! what if wenzhou were neighbours, but wen kexing eats people? u know that im very into cannibalism as this metaphor for something else and as a stepping stone to experience real emotional intimacy! i also really like it when the very palpable sensation of hunger functions to talk about very related things, very visceral things, that can also be felt in the body.

there is a line here i particularly liked:

"Aren't you hungry?" Zhou Zishu asks. Wen Kexing is watching him like he's the most interesting thing in the world. "No," Wen Kexing says. Zhou Zishu knows its a lie. He thinks maybe Wen Kexing is always hungry.

oh, you're mine to take, i wanna hear the sounds you'll make by anonymous. MDZS modern au, genderbend wangxian, experimenting with gender, E. just quoting that one tumblr post from a while back: "dykes who want get fucked in the ass like gayboys." yep!!!

fish & wild geese by impossibletruths. MDZS modern au, wangxian, little forest AU, hunger as a metaphor for grief, farming as a metaphor for healing, food as a metaphor for love, T. lan wangji moves into his dead mother's house and tries to remember how it is to live. its been a while since i read this but i still remember how the grief felt like a fishbone stuck in my throat.

and you must keep your soul/ like a secret in your throat by athena_crickey. MDZS, The Untamed, modern au, modern cultivation, supernatural elements, vampires, culture clash, case fic, grief/mourning, complicated family dynamics, the weariness of being old and immortal, what it means to be alive, E. wei wuxian is an ancient vampire and lan wangji is a young (youngish) cultivator who seeks him out for a case. i particularly liked seeing glimpses of wei wuxian's earlier lives through fictional academical articles and reports at the end of each (i think it is each?) chapter, and sometimes through their conversations. i like it when there is a really old (really, really old) being there and through them, you are challenged to confront what being alive for such a long time does to a person, in what ways it reshapes them.

in the water grass, in the green by nerdzeword, twigofwillow. The Untamed, modern with magic, wangxian, angst, illness, curses, witches, river spirits, family, gardening, G. lan wangji's mother falls ill. he asks the wen witches across the street for help. this fic, too, has the theme of finding solace and comfort in cooking, food, and nature! i love lan wangji being this transcended being between a person and a river! there is also some anticipatory grief here and complex family dynamics; even though madam lan isnt dead, it is hard for lan wangji to reach her because she is not accepted by his family. he has feelings about that.

bug me bug me for fic recs!!!!

[the-ultimate-muses]

📝 - (( talk about writing... bitch >:3 ))

Send me '📝' for the mun to talk about writing; whether it be a style/format they enjoy, something they do with their own writing, pet peeves, advice, favorite authors, etc. (X)

talk to your writing parnters!! babble about little ideas you have, bounce off of eachother just for shits and giggles!! some of the best ideas happen when youre just throwing stuff at each other, something dragon and i know very well lol we send eachother the most random ideas and BOOM we have the most soul shattering, dopamine inducing thread going shortly there after. there are many times where looking back, it seems like some ideas were planned months in advance with how they tie together with more recent ones, and its because we talk All The Time!!

have an idea? send it to your partner!! if youre afraid they wont like it, thats why telling them is important because they can just "well hey what if this instead" and you work from there.

in the same vein, plotting out every single step isnt what writing is about, its gathering general bullet points so you know where you want a thread to go, its just how you get there is whats being worked out as you write, or vice versa.

dont know how to continue a thread? say so!!! 'hey what did you have in mind for this part' or 'im trying to figure out how so and so would react to this' and go from there!! throw ideas at each other and see what sticks!

that being said, its about balance as well.your partner doesnt have to like what you come up with, and threads dont have to go a certain way to be enjoyed. the amount of times ive written something and my parthers character didnt react how i thought they would is high, bu thats what makes it real. people dont always react how you think theyre going to, it helpsmake the writing flow better and feel more real and tangible when youre forced to do a quick 180 if your muse was trying to compliment another, but it was taken as an insult. ot helps show into the charactes mind with how they adapt to it or perhaps make things worse.

tldr: plot out general points, but also go with the flow!! speak up if youre unsure about something, but sometimes its those 'misunderstandings' that make the writing even better!!

[shoppingcartshells]

I’ve been really enjoying the turtle fic, violence and pizza to me is one of the fics that is essential to my personal enjoyment of the rise turtles, so thank you for bringing it into existence :D

I’m still really interested in your interpretation of the way the Hamato Ninpō works, would you mind going more in depth on your thoughts on it?

ohohoh....hamato ninpo... fuckk . chews on an ikea establishment IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!

for starters, i suppose, i LOVE writing it as not just "thing that gives them powers" but "thing that is also Them and they just have powers" if that makes any sense? bc the hamato ninpo, in essence, is connection to their family. it IS their love and care for each other, and that Connection is intrinsically tied to it — its how they got their ninpo, and its how they broke their ninpos free in the movie. they were connected, and they were there together, facing off their greatest enemy yet.

and, as such, i build off of this Connection and Them-ness to sort of make it an empathy link? because their ninpos are THEM. its their soul, which grants them their inherent powers, guided by their Connection with each other. their own ninpo is Themselves. as such, when there is that Connection, it carries with them emotions. its just a natural result of how it works; they feel, and they are connected, so they feel each other.

their ninpos are also not just their soul, but also sort of an aura? its the most noticeable with mikey, especially in the future timeline where hes the most powerful, but they have the ability to affect the real world around them beyond just using their powers—easiest seen in the way that spaces they linger in have a sort of lingering Scent that they were there. again, their ninpos are Themselves, and as such where they go, their ninpo goes. meaning that emotions will linger too with the traces of their ninpo—but not in the exact sense like their true ninpo, but rather a general presence of their most common emotion.

for example:

mikey loves his family. he is Very powerful, to degrees he isnt quite aware of. as such, the whole lair has a passive feeling of love, because when hes home, mikey, happy or sad, loves his family. and he feels safe when hes home, because he knows theyll protect him, and he knows that He will protect them

donnie also loves his family. donnie typical loving his family So Much. meaning, when hes in his lab, oftentimes hes working on something to protect them (especially after the shredder and then kraany fiascos). as such, when in his lab, his siblings can expect to feel that passive feeling of protection and love

much like mikey and donnie, raph loves his family, and he wants to keep them safe. as such the training room room carries that feeling of protection and love and saftey. are you sensing a theme here yet?

and leo... hehe... well, in tqiv&taip, he hasnt been all that present, so its not particularly relevant... but id imagine that, if one were to crawl into his bed and really focus, there would be a lot of anxiety, stress, and Upset :)

following the theme, i imagine post invasion the lair was just Filled with upset. its like being an empathetic crier but Worse

all that to say, it is VERY tied to their emotions. that was why leos speech WORKRD to burn off the kraang infection

jumping off of that in a very smooth segue yep, THEIR WEAPONS!! ohh their weapons...

theres always that saying that your weapon is an extension of yourself, and in this case it is Extremely literal.

the weapons arent their own beings, of course, but theyre sort of like a clone of their souls in a way. its still them just separate—their subconscious made tangible. (mystic weapons make a sort of bond similarly to how the turtles feel, but it is nowhere near as intimate compared to the fucking hamato ninpo).

and!! since ive sort of run out of things to say: some exclusive insight to our favorite blue silly :)

we all remember how leo struggled with portals? well, in this AU, thats because the mystic weapons that they had were catalysts, not their own full, separate things—if they had been fully fledged weapons with their powers, it would have been much like having to tame a wolf. because the weapons would have been their own type of subconscious, separate from both creator and user.

all that to say: because their weapons were essentially placeholders for the onces they create with their ninpo, the reason leo struggled in this au wasnt Just the inherent difficulty of trying to figure out how portals work, but because of his insecurity. he was struggling, and it Showed—and the more he struggled to fix it, the more insecure hed feel, and, well.... something something leos vicious cycle

(ALSO why his ninpo is so Distant now. because he feels, both consciously like he deserves to be disconnected and he IS disconnected from his family because he isnt talking to them and it shows. so in one way, hes consciously pulling away, but its also subconsciously.

and, those feelings could be made worse by the fact that one of his swords is still in the prison dimension—a piece of himself, lost, that he'll never get back.)

[lost-in-interwebs]

NOT to be weird but i found your take on fallout 4 so interesting as someone who is also from MA. when i played thru it initially on release i was all jazzed about it for that exact reason, but over time/the years ive grown bitter about fo4 because i feel like it failed to capture the culture/charm of MA outside of some set dressing (even then, i felt like they often didnt capture the "look" of MA very well if that makes sense). ANWAY didnt mean to dump this as a weird confession, im genuinely curious to hear abt ur thoughts as someone also from MA who played through fo4 if u dont mind me asking.. what helped amplify the experience for you?

Oh my god I felt the same god damn way. Over the years the charm is gone. It's all set dressing. THEY DONT EVEN HAVE CLAM CHOWDER. There are no rabbits. Maine gets rabbits but we don't get rabbits???

For me, it was just personal memories. The Swan Pond was just devastating. As a child my mother took me out in the swan boats and I dropped my favorite Dumbo toy in the water and was bereft. The entire boat stopped to help me get it back before it was submerged in the deep. We have pictures of that day. Kilmore Square is really important to me because I used to go into the old Church on Newbury Street to work with a professional choir in the summer. And it also led to the Women's Mental Health facility I spent time at when I was suicidal. Seeing super mutants take over that familiar road and raiders sitting pretty in Hangman's Alley just broke my heart. That road is familiar. Malden Catholic was one of my school's rivals in basketball. Seeing the Boston Children's Science Museum empty and in a little building was infruriating. There is no Boston Aquarium. And I get it, even Emil jokes in the text that there just wasn't enough space to fit it all.... but no Make Way for Ducklings? No Blueberries for Sal moment in Far Harbor? Come on Emil, you lived here. Breath some fucking life and character into this place. We have the second largest Chinatown behind New York. My father used to buy me ceramic chopsticks and fans and silk pajamas. I loved Chinatown and it isnt there. I live near Salem so seeing the Witch museum was wild especially after living in my first apartment alone down the street from it. But it's all submerged. Beverly is gone. Salem is gone. There's nothing there. And that'd my home home that's the Northshore that's my home. And there's nothing...

Real tangible memories I can return to as I please but they are ruins in this game. It's so much easier for me to roleplay as a Pre War mother who grew up in Boston only to live to see it fall.

I had to ride the blue line, the one where you find Nick Valentine, for my first job interview. The game is haunted by ghosts to me. But it's my ghost. Also I had to contend with the fact that everyone I love would have been dead in 200 years. My mom, my sister, my cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, enemies. Only I remain to tell their stories. AND I WISH YOU COULD DO SOMETHING WITH THAT. That's tangible.

Fallout 4 is so close and yet so distant. I feel like in order to truly be there you have to be able to smell how bad that ocean water must smell. You gotta feel the slime on the rocks as you climb up out of the ocean. You need to feel the barnacles scrape against your knees. You gotta taste the salt of the water before it turns sweet on your tongue. But you can't get that in a video game. You have to live it.

Also the addiction... Addiction is so prevalent here in Mass. There's not a soul I don't know that wasn't effected by the opioid crisis. And they treated it soooooooo vaguely. It's empty. And the jab at AA and personal therapy was so.... mean spirited as an addict myself.

Also our entire fishing culture is just.... gone. No mention no game mechanic to do it. Save that all for Maine. Which is fucking bogus. Also the voices.... the voices and the accents. Some you can tell are acted. Some feel real enough. I wish they would got some fucking guys off the street to voice a few NPCs. ALSO LYNN???? You didn't do anything with "Lynn Lynn the city of sin you won't come out the way you came in"??? It's fucking perfect. There could have been something with that. Maybe something like Evergreen Mills but functional and cooler. idk these are such insane ramblings and if you can glean any answers from this take it.

[istherewifiinhell]

hand on rbing prev post as circling back around on sts thought apparently gave me enough to say it needed to escape the tags and be its own post. um! the emh from voy: my wife is a bitch and i love her so much

i think the emh is like. the exact definition of "the soul first shows itself by a gnashing of teeth" as its all well add good to appreciate the aliveness of nice and polite data who follows all the rules and is like. even MORE real than a flesh and blood person.

(in sense of his tangibility... his mechanical complexity and physical and mental competencies. are MORE than that of a traditionally recognized person. you know? not that that is an accurate summation of how the show acts about him. the only person who thinks that is julian bashir lmao. more often its like the. oh you disrespect him? well disrespect THIS! [he does a feat unmatched by any of the biological life forms around him] which... isnt exactly useful as principled, ideological and philosophic statement, about who gains the right of person-hood. OR RATHER! it is literally and precisely that, its conclusions sucks shit)

[Cam K podcast voice] when someone reaches for abstractions to doubt data's existent, the show throws materialist egg on their face.

The lynchpin in the proof of Data artificiality. Is that he has a PHYSICAL SWITCH, that can turn him OFF. This counters his otherwise uninterrupted verisimilitude of humanity. He looks like a toy. A thing. (Teenage wifi would like to point out if i had a big enough rock i could also turn riker off, but alas)

BUT the thing about the Doc, is that this guy ISNT "REAL". Getting shut down is not grand solemn act to the doc. It happens to him. ALOT. "Computer: End Program"... Hes so much more dependent on those around him. He isnt nearly the same as them. AND HES AN ANNOYING LITTLE BITCH about it. please turn him off when you done! please turn him ON to tell him things, and u could visit sometime... Turn your emergency holographic medical channel! cause this is a SENIOR STAFF MEETING. and hes the God Damn CMO.

AND. its not just mistreatment he gets (RIGHTFULLY!) angry about. Its that (as joelle correctly pointed out, ofc) when confused, or when things are wrong, when he has no control, he default right to agression! He is not a sad kicked puppy that goes 'oh' and 'i do not understand the meaning of ur behaviour' like data does. (again that sounds like data slander its NOT! i love data and wish ppl would stop laughing at him for having questions)

Whereas the biggest actual impediment of data's full recognition of personhood is his feelings, and suppose lack there of. He doesn't react to social stimulus the way people expect him too. If you try to goad him into a response he might say he 'is not capable of experiencing emotions such as you do' cause hes lacking the magic part in his brain that will do that. (to which... every neurodivergent person ever said: data, bestie, baby girl, they say that about a lot of people. you have clearly expressed internal experiences that are just... you baselines for emotion)

But to compare. When people say the doc isnt acting socially normal, which is an assholish thing to do, btw. HES READY TO BE AN ASSHOLE RIGHT BACK. His is INFACT, gnashing those holographic teeth! I don't think anyone has ever accused the doc of a LACK OF FEELING. Like, he has horrible beside manner, he "isn't programed for small talk"... but thats cause he's RUDE! He's too obviously prideful, snide, needling and just general, self involved for it to not seem like a DELIBERATE CHOICE that he is making.

And even when these traits are regarded to simple programing (which makes them... less real? 🤨) Examine the moments that are definitively about him claiming autonomy, engaging in recreation and becoming more self actualized. And find that a lot of them are angled to make him LESS likable. His hobbies, which he WILL speak about, AT LENGTH, include being a tropy writer, a photographer who makes hour long presentations, and a uncompromising operatic tenor diva.

(love when opera singer is used as insult, media wise, oh noooo ur TOO good at singing. your voice is TOO powerful, ur vocal control and ability to perform complex pieces in multiple languages is TOO impressive. lol. mr picardo ur so cool and u looked good doing it. frankly)

In the moments that serve to mark specific advancement in control he gains over himself, he gets to make himself MORE OBNOXIOUS! You do not, infact, get to recognize a someones full personhood without running the risk that you, specifically, might not like them! As a person!

And in dramtic turns. His true psyche breaking, foundation shaking experiences are acted to hell! It's uncomfortable to behold someone so emotional. Confusion and denial not expressed quietly, but belligerently. Meeting of sadness fear that can only be expressed as anger. Unlike the picturesq Adam and Eve figures from the end of R.U.R. (spoilers? i suppose). His awareness of the true personal impact and price of mortality is not signaled by a noble self-sacrifice, gentle weeping and pleading to not have someone taken away. It's a choice he made to save a close friend, instead of a distant coworker, when forced to choose between the two.

And then, his complete and total inability to comprehend, internalized and accept that fact. A person would be dead, truly and utterly gone from this world. Cause he wanted to save his friend instead. And the only way to ingrate this horrible fact of reality, the capital A, Absurd, was to do it as any human might.

Have a very public and loud mental breakdown, spend prolonged period of in which you cannot be left alone because your darkest thoughts will loop forever into themselves as you become more and more upset, and yet, neither can you simply avoid thinking about it, has the only way to come to terms with it is though a mire subjects that cause revulsion. The desert of thought the mind shrink from, and the truth that lies in it. Which. Is very inconvenient for all your friends who would really just rather be having a normal one.

In conclusion? The doc shows autonomy and sentience by being loud, opinionated and embarrassing. Rude, precocious, and easily offended. Self obsessed, high-mined, and anguished. Dependent, vulnerable and inconvenient. Which is to say he possible the most real anyone could ever be. That he has a much of a soul as any of us. That he is a bitch and i love him SO MUCH.

[commanderjuni]

early morning rambles for my silly evil gw2 group(s) ocs.... no names yet since theyre still heavy wips but i hope to use these beasties in roleplay too! :]

i wont tag as spoilers since there arent any /lh most of the stuff i'll talk about you can find on the wiki! :]

putting all this under the cut to spare ur guys' dash

nightmare court

* she/her femme sylvari. THEYRE SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME i cant NOT make one...

* prrrobably a necromancer (idk elite spec yet..). instead of feasting on JUST life force, her connection to the nightmare allows her to feed on the fear of those around her. thus i associate her with the soul reaping core specialization! :]

* themed like a wolfsbane plant! a poisonous, beautiful purple color. her accents may be orange and/or green for some nice contrast

* still young for a sylvari; she USED to be a dreamer before she got alien beamed away by nightmare courtiers who wanted to use her budding necromancy to their advantage. promising they'd show her much greater things it was capable of, she decided. huh! okay! :]

* funnily enough she actually isnt like. overtly sadistic or malicious. she WILL deal excruciating pain to others, but moreso because she was told to rather than her actually wanting to hurt anyone... or because she got bored and pain is the only "enriching activity" she knows /lh

sons of svanir

* he/him masc norn... im going in girl-boy-girl-boy order so this one gets to be a dude :]

* former follower of either raven or leopard, but was convinced to join svanir at a pretty young age because he struggled to fit in with other norn... svanir promised him a home: a convincing temptation

* pretty cut and corner svanir (excluding the whole misogyny thing). reveres jormag. he especially feels that jormag is the superior spirit, due to the fact it not only is a WHOLE ASS DRAGON, but it also is tangible. jormag has been seen and wounded and attacked before; the other spirits, while you CAN see them, he finds are incorporeal and therefore just spectres unworthy of the praise they get

* a ranger! i imagine he tames mostly ice wurms, but he also takes in beasts tainted by the ice dragon's corruption. he is surprisingly (to others at least) kind to his beasts, and they fight with a fierce loyalty at his side. idk elite spec yet ... bleehh

* very unnerving, even to other svanir sometimes. he's very quick and trick; like nature, he is a fickle creature and does what he seems to please. and get on his bad side, and you may suddenly find yourself hunted by gleaming eyes in the blinding shiverpeak blizzards.

flame legion

* she/her charr. i just think flame legion ladies are neat :]

* born into flame legion. her father was a powerful shaman, and her mother a gladium who was manipulated by her mate into becoming flame.

* being a lady in flame legion isnt fun to nobody's surprise, so initally she was just Some Guy's Lame Daughter until it was revealed she has elementalist magic... Something her sire was keenly interested in. After much fighting on the matter, she was allowed to practice being a shaman, even being granted an honorary title. (Though nobody. calls her it really)

* AS MENTIONED shes an elementalist! her main and favored attunement is fire (duh /j), but she is impressively powerful and manipulates all elements with relative ease, especially earth alongside fire. water and air are sort of novelties or in a pitch healing elements for her.

* a pretty quiet lady. .... TOO quiet, sometimes. she always appears deep in thought, contemplating something that nobody never really knows. she doesnt speak unless spoken to, and generally is very cagey and guarded.

inquest

* he/him boy rat. RUAGGHHH i need to make more male asura. silly silly guys

* BORN AND RAISED INQUEST 💯💯💯💯 homegrown (literally) by his father, who is councillor yhak! totally no shady reasons behind his making at all :] (yhak wanted to just have a back-up "him" in order to keep his hold on the council)

* a very powerful high clearance guy. probably recognized under the "overseer" or "officer" title?? i'll have to spin my Wheel Of Inquest Ranks and Titles to figure it out /lh EITHER WAY his dad gave him a high rank to get him used to being at the top and abusing power ^.^ if you saw that last part no you didnt.

* his class is. tricky to find out but mainly im thinking he's a mesmer! elite spec probably virtuoso. he can do anything with his mind (STABS YOU WITH PSYCHIC BLADES)

* very Customer Service Pleasant. he's actually a very mean and uptight person but hes surprisingly easy to please if he gets what he wants. very intelligent in terms of politics and like another oc of mine (hi srabba) he wishes to seize the area around the thaumanovas reactor in order to utilize the chaotic energies lurking around...

bandit

* she/her female human (TUMBLEWEED) /J im thinking for she's elonian OR canthan for funsies

* Ok so. imagine this. ex-noble girl. she gets sick of the constant squabbling and formalities of noble duties, and falls in love with a bad boy/girl promising to whisk her away to a better world... 10 days later shes now a bandit and is about to blow up an orphanage. Girl help.

* squints my eye. thief. without a shadow of a doubt this girl is a trained thief. mainly im thinking shes very acrobatic in fighting so shes a daredevil too! :]

* a bit of an awkward girl. shes had to go from Princess Smiles and Waves to "if you mess with me again i'll stab you in the side" so her personality is a little. skewed. but she has a silly humorous personality! enjoys being the life of the party! :]

[nahalism]

the quote you reblogged : That is why mysticism is the only source of virtue for humanity. Because when men do not believe that there is infinite mercy behind the curtain of the world, or when they think that this mercy is in front of the curtain, they become cruel.

Made me want to ask you: Were you or rather are you ever in states where you don’t feel and believe there’s anything more to life? That there is no energy no soul everything is accidental and there is no higher power out there, that everything is meaningless and pointless. No matter what we do or think but it’s maybe easier or even necessary to believe that there’s something more to all of it, to us? Maybe we desperately need that? Maybe it would be impossible for us to function and keep sanity? Or are you unshaken in your beliefs, maybe life proved it to be true enough that you never get those nihilistic waves of everything means nothing

heyy. love the question, quick disclaimer :: ultimately, each person is entitled to their own beliefs. i believe what i believe, and allow others to do the same. also, re: the quotation, i think theres a differentiation between mythology and theology. its less directed toward the existence of a god, and rather pertains to the idea that a world/morality beyond that of the physical tangible realm is at play. if infinite mercy can be extended to people despite their past transgressions, in that, a person can make a mistake, but redeem themselves through their consequent deeds, it alludes to some higher goal to strive for than the base or hedonistic goals that otherwise drive us forward. if people didnt believe they could be better, or make good despite their past actions, being a better person, choosing to evolve, or choosing to self correct, would not only cease to be appealing but cease to be necessary. the fact we believe we can be better, should be better, and that the choice to be better leads to better, is what keeps the balance of good and bad in balance, and what keeps humanity from slipping into complete debauchery.

as for me, i was raised catholic & i didnt relate or buy into what they were teaching me at church. anytime i had a question the answers seemed completely far fetched and unbelievable, and i felt like people were more concerned with the idea of salvation, or the need to believe in something to feel there was an overarching purpose to life, than they were with what i understood to be the core principles of the religion. even the term religion rubbed me up the wrong way because i felt like, isnt it just a personal belief/conviction/way of life, opposed to a faction or group to 'belong' to. people spoke a good game but the enactment of what they spoke about left me wanting.

fast forward. beginning to ask those questions around age 7/8 was the start of my spiritual journey even though i wasnt aware of it at the time. by 10/11 i stopped going to church & was calling myself an atheist or agnostic depending on what my mood was on the day. not because i didnt believe or feel there was something out there, but because it didnt align with any religious views i was privy to at the time. then at 12 i experienced a traumatic incident, and as i started to spend more time alone i was shown certain things and would have very particular experiences / feel the voice of some force out in nature or speaking to me through my conscience. and when that happened i felt (not from the teachings or reasoning of anyone but myself) that that force and feeling i was encountering was my true understanding of god or this thing i knew existed but wasnt entirely sure about how it existed. that pervading presence, its voice and the way its guided me is the only reason i believe in a higher, supreme power.

thats when i began to study life thru the humanities and in doing so form my opinions and ideas on what i believe regarding my views on the world & spirituality. i studied through the lens of the bible, the qu'aran, hindu teachings, buddhist teachings, syncretism, kemetic texts and teachings, new age spirituality, gnosticism & even science. i feel as though all of them have appealed to me and allowed me to grow in knowledge and understanding & that whilst they use different language to explain themselves, they all point toward and explain one truth. however beyond that the point still stands that i just believe. — ive had experiences i cant doubt, and feelings i cant doubt, not that i havent doubted them, or questioned, but each time i did it only confirmed my initial belief and made me believe more strongly. and so yeah, without that fundamental belief, all of it would just be a beautiful story. i could read every text, but if i didnt believe in what i was reading it would be no more than a harry potter type situation. i couldnt be swayed into pretending i believed, not for the idea of heaven, a promised land, or eternal salvation. thats not what i get out of this. my relationship w god saved my life and it keeps rebirthing me, educating me, & moulding me, and in doing so brings new meaning to things id previously read & doubted/didn't understand (think the concept of ressurection). anyway

i know people are religious and believe in god (whatever term or label u wanna give that force) for a variety of reasons. i cant speak for them, because im sure many people do believe for the reasons u stated. my reasons are simply that i feel and believe there is a higher, supreme, overarching force, that is the matrix of the spirit that permeates every living thing. i think theres a design to the world, one too specific to be down to chance. i think life is eternal and that there is a point to the experiences and growth or lack of that we experience in this life. that generationally it has significance and that it will one day account for something bigger than what we can see or comprehend right now. and i feel that when i look into the spirit of another being whether its human animal a tree or fire/water etc, that we all share the same force that ignites and powers our beings. & those are a just a few of the reasons why i believe

<3 hope this answers for u. sending my love

[fablecore]

(7/7) i hope this wasnt Too Trauma-Dumpy or anything. i tried to stay away from specifics or anything potentially triggerable. i just didnt know how to illustrate your impact accurately without at least acknowledging some darker things, albeit vaguely. the words "you mean a lot to me" felt inadequate but they are true. and i hope its clear as to why now but yeah. wild that oc-making and publishing your art and fanfic-- even just in theory, i havent ever touched on what youve MADE in specifics or in analysis-- altered my life, or at least altered how i felt i was allowed to interact with my life, so much. obviously what impacted me was more than JUST cringe culture, but its way funnier in its simplicity to say: cringe culture going off on ocs and Mary Sues really fucked me up more than i thought Imao rip

but yeah. just. thanks. for everything ♡

if dont beat that 2%, i really do hope you find what make, after college is all done, when i finally have the time/energy to spare. or that someone sends it your way, if it isnt me myself. i hope youll continue to be active when i make it. but, if you arent for whatever reason, ill still make it. and itll always be a goal ill have made and accomplished thanks to you and your creativity. i love you, very much. and thank you again ♡

(/end of original message. thank you for your time, i know this was long, i hope you received something joyful despite that aspect. or recieved something heartfelt, to turn the moniker around again. but yeah. thank you again, for everything ♡♡♡ i love you and your creations very much. you mean a lot to me. more than any words in the english language can adequately convey ♡)

i'm saving the rest of your story in my inbox. it's so precious i'd rather not publish it. it will remain just between the two of us ♡

thank you so much for taking the time to write this even after tumblr ate the first attempt. you mentioned sincerity a few times, and there's something i've noticed about writing/creating with sincerity in mind. and by that i mean the interview with maria howe where she goes "i ask my students every week to write 10 observations of the actual world. It’s very hard for them. Just tell me what you saw this morning like in two lines. I saw a water glass on a brown tablecloth, and the light came through it in three places. No metaphor. And to resist metaphor is very difficult because you have to actually endure the thing itself, which hurts us for some reason."

when someone tells a story filled with facts/truths/observations that aren't dressed up in a thousand layers of irony and shame, people respond to it. there's a universe-sized chasm between a soul eviscerating head imploding sledgehammer to the heart film like everything everywhere all at once and the next marvel whatever. that chasm is probably named sincerity. or love. or joy. or connection. whatever it's called, you can feel it in the place where our souls are supposed to reside. it's tangible. it shifts. it's real.

anyway.. i'm rambling now... i was very moved by your message and your love and i hope you will continue to allow yourself more and more and more until you get everything you want. wishing you the best in your future endeavors 🤍💘 and when the time comes, i hope you do give me a nudge if i'm still around! (which, look. i probably will be. i've already been here too damn long.)

[writersrealmbts]

We Could Be: (Sorry) 22

Description: In a world of magic, mortals, and immortals; six souls are brought together to navigate the world. Namjoon had become immortal by accident. Hoseok was born into immortality. Jimin was pursuing immortality. Yoongi had immortality thrust upon him. Taehyung isn’t sure how or when he became immortal. Jungkook showed no interest whatsoever in immortality. It’s Seokjin’s job to help them all learn to live, immortal or not. His job to keep them safe and teach them how to live life while losing people they loved to mortality. It was their desire to teach him how much they loved him. It was their desire to show him just what “We Could Be”. Now if only the government would stop trying to mess with them.

Posting Date: 04/29/2023

Wordcount: 1,650

Tags: Magic Au, Ot7 bts, werewolves, werecats, vampires, nymphs, magic users, etc.

Previous. Next.

It was the only choice Jungkook had.

The only tangible form of magic that Jungkook could break.

That he could cut the ties his hyung had to.

He choked on his own pained wail as the flowers turned to dust in his hyung��s hands.

But he swore he saw Seokjin’s family smiling at him in the shadows, swore he heard Seokjin’s mother whisper a thank-you.

He didn’t want to be thanked for breaking his hyung.

Continue reading on Ao3...

Previous. Next. Ot7 Stories Masterpost

Tagging: @park-jimin-isnt-real

[stellarcobweb]

RAAAAAAAH sitting down to write out how diff energy tastes to me bc im being harassed into doing so

so. as a vamp ive chomped on a variety of diff energies in a variety of ways

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my methods are, fr the most part filter feeding on ambient energy around me - not necessarily from humans bc i only interact w my mom really and i dont ever feed on my pets. ig it tends to be like. moreso ethereal energies. which i will get into in a minute. i do also directly feed frm ppl who consent to it, but seeing as i dont talk to ppl that often i dont tend to go that route as of recently. i also source from specific types of energy via like. astral plane. usually wells of energy spawned naturally, and ive also on occasion picked thru n cleaned some folks energetic bodies on the astral

theres also a few like. subconscious rules i go for regarding feeding? for one, they have to be energetically compatible w me im not gonna eat some random persons energy if i feel like it would throw my own energetic system off balance. i also am like ... very put off when ppl come to me first to ask to be a donor. if im hungry ill go looking or ill offer a symbiotic thing so we both benefit

on the mechanics of it btw. it very much feels to me like i consume energy, using it to boost my own production and shedding the excess i dont have a use for back into the environment - the excess i shed tends to be a lot more like... purified? distilled?. it takes a while to process it too, just like. yknow. metabolism. like i last had a large-ish feeding session a couple months ago now i think?????? and im still processing it. i also dont tend to overeat bc it just makes me jittery and Too full of energy n i need to burn it off or ground it so i dont metaphorically explode into confetti

im def the type of vampire where its like ... it feels like my energetic system has a leak? so to cover for that i need to draw in more. that also means that divination and spellwork can take a SHIT TON OF ENERGY out of me and take me out for the day if i dont feed before AND after. 0/10 dont recommend the experience, its awful

---------

ANYWAYS. TYPES OF ENERGY IVE EATEN.

for the most part, i prefer life energy if feeding off of another living being. humans and plants fall into that category. i also put physical food in this category bc i do take what little energy it has. i also eat celestial energies - umbra, stellar, and spatial void in particular.

ive also tried emotional and sexual energy, but honestly they dont do anything for me. its like eating air

life energy ... the closest equivalent i can say as to how it tastes is like. whipped cream mixed with cotton candy. the texture is like fluffy air, very incorporeal and like ur eating almost nothing, though it coalesces into a small firmer piece if u press it together close enough. very sweet in a light way - not overwhelming or rich. also kinda similar to very fluffy cake where it feels like ur eating a cloud. more filling than what youd think though! i tend to associate like... whispers of flavor with it.

my main experience eating life energy (not counting filter feeding) is eating souls astrally, in which case thats a bit different. souls are more tangible and in my experience can have a "hardened shell" around them kinda? it doesnt have to be actually hard, it can just be like a thick cloud or gummy or crunchy layer

theres a specific candy in the astral that gives you the experience of like. biting a star that gives a similar mouthfeel, though the star candy is ALWAYS crunchy and also isnt as big of an energy boost than i like so i always end up popping like seven of those bad boys when i wanna get something done magically. it prob would give me more energy if it was an energetic type that was more compatible w me

also! umbra energy! shadow, dark, etc. the texture is a lot more like. comfy cotton quilt. always soft, feels very comforting. like a warm bear hug :) it isnt warm at all though, its like. a chilling type of comfort? hard to describe. sticks around a lot longer than other types of energy for me, and im slower to process it. leaves me topped off longer apparently! if i eat too much, i dont feel "full" but i do need to immediately burn off the excess energy or ground it or else i feel like im vibrating out of my skin

interesting fact here! life energy tends to get processed via settling near my own soul - not in the direct vicinity, but near enough that it isnt a pain to leech energy into my soul. umbra energy tends to get processed with more distance - i notice it curling outside my body pressing against the outside of my energetic body, with my body only slowly leeching it in when its done processing the little bit i was actively working on. its a much slower process! its also a lot more sticky to me ?????????????? well. not STICKY. but like. once ive begun processing it i cant rid myself of it, its just There forever now until i finish processing it askdjfhskfu which isnt bad for me personally!! ive always been a lot more at home and comfortable with umbra energy. it sticking to the outside of my energetic body is actually really useful magically and also for comfort. it rlly Does feel like a comforting hug, plus umbra energy is very good for masking my presence bc i blend into the shadows more. easier to gloss over me.

[fruit-smoothie]

I think your soul isnt your spirit self taking up your tangible body, nor is it in your brain, or a shape within you. I thimk your soul is you. All of you. The flesh you experience life in, the thoughts you have, the words you say, your relationships— all of it. Your cells and organs and tissues and bones are laced with your essence like the sugar that makes up candy. Your interactions are, too. The way you love, the way you live, the way you interact, all of it. Your soul isnt a shape, or a copy of your appearance, it is you

But idk thats just what i think

[jhon-the-cat-follower]

How does someone touch your soul isnt it like inside the body

Every since flowey got here most of us got a soul from undertale meaning that out souls are now tangible in some way

So yeah You guys can touch My soul but be warned of death

[mr-aftons-rotting-pussy]

Hi I'm a new follower here! There's something I'm curious about and wanted to ask you if you don't mind. Can you tell me a little about your Fnaf au story and how you interpret the characters (especially William Afton), is there anything that inspires you?

HELLO !! :3 i dont mind at all. okay so. i have multiple fnaf aus actually jghkhcgj, ive started just tagging certain stuff vaguely cause i have a very fuck around until i find smth i like kinda process to making aus n such lol 🙈 so its more like. a collection of scenarios and storylines and themes...... etc........ teehee<3

ANYWAYS most of my more circulated ideas n stuff rn tho r more focused on moments and such we DONT see in canon but still within like the Known timeline somewhat. even if the lines get blurred severely, and ofc adding my own flair in certain places as well i giggle<3

some of the more concrete concepts i have tho r the Rabbit Demon, sort of inspired by ITP and also im a SUCKER for tangible representations of characters inner conflicts and what have you 🙏 the demon in this case follows william as hes haunted by it, its not a one to one of any particular ghost its more of like an entity manifested by his Evil Deeds lol. it doesnt just haunt william tho Vanessa has her own(also should be known my Vanessa is more movie leaning than games leaning, movie vanessa is more interesting to ponder for me personally:3c) as well as it hangs over the aftons in general. and in a way The Rabbit as seen in ITP explicitly is also technically a part of this but shes also like. her own phenomenon too lol as she operates a little differently.......

the entity doesnt hurt any of them physically its more psychological, kind of like a divine punishment. and the way it hangs over the family is representative of how williams misdeeds seeps over into others and how his actions effect people even in subtler ways other than just his victims. Vanessa and Michael are the Most affected by the haunting other than William himself, as they are the people most directly influenced by his actions with them carrying out his will in some way(see sister location for Michael and fnaf movie for Vanessa) the Bunny Call if you will 😏 *i am promptly booed offstage*

theres also a bit more i could say about it but its mostly like Visual Representation kinda stuff, like the specifics of the haunting r supposed to be seen rather than explained :3c (coughs in guy who draws LMAO) BUT ANYWAYS, i really really do enjoy personifying Concepts like thia ESPECIALLYYYY in horror settings<333 monsters who r embodiments of themes n shit my beloveddddd teehee i giggle and kick my paws<33333 a lot of my insp for this tho visually comes from @/scope_wad's Family Comes First <333 it had such a profound effect on me i still think about it on the daily. as well as sum other more vague/general inspirations(i am also a huge fan of abstract and meaningful visuals, which manifest themselves greatly in the... hallucination episodes william n the others have<3) but i digress🥹,,,

Another big one is the weird Industrial Horror Pit<333 its supposed to be like sort of... limbo-ish place. if UCN is purgatory then this place is something much more.... barren. a place Between the in-between. William usually resides here when his soul isnt being tormented in UCN but also isnt tethered to something in the real world(ie springtrap r smth). visually this place takes a LOT of inspiration from tsutomu nihei's work, specifically his architectural/environmental landscapes in Blame!

but obv with a more..... general fnaf look yknow lol..... think of sister location specifically again too teehee<33 🤭 very nonsensical..... otherworldly place, this is not where living beings reside.... this place was not made with Humanity in mind.....etc etc... i giggle and blush all cute like😁😁😁

ik theres more but i cant think of anything else Of Note at the moment.... :P you can literally ask me anything tho if you have more questions/smth more specific ill gladly talk about it i think about Everything all of the time always forever okayyyy okay<33 heart<33

How in interpret williammmmm ermmm!!! my Will actually sticks pretty closely to the games canon(specifically the first. however many games pizzeria simulator is LOL) hes sillayyyy 2 me, the games will always come first in my mind ive been a fan since the first came out<33

you can peruse my William Afton tag tho #willie fnafton for more of my mini-essays n thoughts n whatever about him i CANNOT relay everything properly in this little ask im sorry😭

i typically dont stray too far from his canon characterization, i do like to put him in situations tho Obv so like..... any changes made to his character via character growth moments n the likes r very much informed by the text<33 im Not a fanon liker guy in the slightest LOL 👎👎👎👎 i loveeee canon and. informed character analysis and Evidence<33333 😁💖 HVFjbefbfv

and lastly my general inspirations vary greatly, im always inspired by the things i like<33 typically im into darker, gritty, bloody n gorey, and just plain Weird art :3c ive already mentioned Blame! and tsutomu nihei, im a HUGE HUGE MASSIVE FAN OF SCOTT CAWTHONS ARTWORKS naturally(🥹) and manyyy many more that i cannot possibly name all of em rn hsjsbjd, im constantly looking at new(relative to me lol) and interesting arte so rest assured my internal catalogue is Vast💖💖

[pocketedmelody]

Nightmare

He said, you choose what you want to believe in. You choose your perspective.

The past few weeks have torn my world apart. All that I knew. Cracked foundation. I feel my being torn into two, then into pieces. During moments I feel whole again, in a split second when reality sinks in once more I feel my soul seep out again. Im running on a tank threatening to implode, yet so full of sadness, resentment, anger, emptiness. Full of emptiness, the irony.

Mostly i feel dissociated, like I am looking at someone else from a third person's perspective and feeling all the feelings that person would, fully. How I wish i could press the stop button on this reality.

Im still trying to come to terms with the reality that is now, that is what has always been but them sheltering it from me.

I felt empathetic, then I felt angry. Really, really angry. That she would choose herself, give this up, give my family up. I cannot separate the idea of my relationship with her, our relationship with her, from their relationship. It all means the same thing to me - family. it wouldnt be one without anyone. She chose to walk away and put herself first, for the first time. Without warning.

Most of the time i felt that he was in the dark, then he walked out too. Despite my tangible pleas.

They both said we had ourselves to focus on, that things will be the same. That angered me even more.

How could things ever be the same

The physical place - everything could be in the same position but it will never be the same.

I chose to be angry. I choose to be angry now. For most of the past 2 weeks I actively chose to avoid relenting. I dont know, does relenting to the good side mean giving up? I did not want to give her easy access to me. After all that shes done to me. But its hard. Y was right. it is harder to be someone i want to be who isnt intrinsically me. but i choose to be dark because its the easier way to cope.

i want to keep being angry because i dont want to accept the truth. that my family unit will never be the same. at the toughest moments in the past, my family was the solid rock, my parents were the pillars of support i knew would always be constant. even this constant, can break apart? what?

it feels that my reality had all been a lie. i did not appreciate being kept in the dark for so long. J told me, at least i had 30y of a happy family. I felt angry when i heard that. why should it be a thing of the past. and why does that discount the hurt and loss i feel. like am i supposed to grieve less?

no.

many times in my mind i told myself i'd rather they did not shield me from reality, they did not paint a perfect picture of life and family, and love and harmony. only to break it now.

that was my foundation, that was my core.

and then she broke the saddest of news two nights ago.

i felt indignant, but a little less angry. i was even more lost.

i tried to be angrier. but i couldnt. i found myself leaning towards the tissues even when i really did not want to display any sign of understanding or sympathy. her constant apologies flew over my head. in that motherly figure i always leaned on i see a lost girl who has been lost for so long. a girl who was deprived of love and had been surviving on a nearly empty tank but could only show that she was one overflowing and unconditionally giving. not only because she was expected to fulfil her role as a mother but because she wanted to.

nobody would ever have guessed. even when she was running on a tank almost empty she would give, and give, and give.

i felt hurt when i knew he had another reality. and she didnt get what she had deserved. i still want to believe he had good reasons. that it wasnt a mistake, because it would be the saddest thing.

For the first time ever, today on the bus ride back home. I felt this surge of conviction to show them and her that it wasnt the wrong thing. I came out of it, we came out of it. She is the reason why i have the heart to give even when i feel like i am breaking down and have nothing left. he is the reason why i have this focus on excellence even when i feel inadequate. they are the reason why i held on even when all i wanted to do was give up. they are the reason why i love the way i do, i want others around me to feel loved and be loved. they are the reason why i know a family unit the way it is. that family is everything, and family will be there for you no matter what.

all these will never change, no matter the background and context. i will never forget the feelings they make me feel.

i want to embrace her in the biggest embrace now i am where and who i am, to let her know that her difficulties are not for nought. that she is not alone anymore, that its ok for her to be herself and she is more than enough.

i want to let him know its ok to make mistakes, that he will always be the one i turn to like how i did when i was 4 and all i looked forward to every 2 weeks was returning to his embrace and hearing his bedtime stories of 3 little cats. that the respect for him will be boundless no matter what.

still, the child in me is screaming for good things in life to never end. can it not end?