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blacklesbothatlovestowrite · 1 year ago

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Telekinesis Pt 2

Shuri x Fem Reader

"Sthandwa..." Shuri starts but quickly corrects herself at the look on your face. "Y/n."

You stare at her blankly. You don't want to talk. You want her the fuck out of your apartment. She didn't get to make herself feel better by gaining 'closure' or whatever the fuck this was.

"I love you." She starts but you let out a bitter laugh interrupting her.

"You've got a funny way of showing it." You snort, trying to breathe through your laughing.

"Whether you believe me or not, it's the truth." She asserts. You had to force yourself not to roll your eyes because at this point you felt over the conversation and over her bullshit. "I was a different person back then. I knew I was fucked up and I still pursued you because I was selfish. I knew I was hurting you and I felt it was better I let you go before I did anything worse than I already had."

"What do you mean by that? You had to let me go before you did anything worse?" You focus on the tail end of her sentence. What the fuck did that even mean? Worse than she already had?

"You know I was struggling with my duties in Wakanda, and the loss of my family. I barely grieved my brother before I was grieving the loss of my mother. I was in a terrible place and I just couldn't let anyone in." Shuri looks downright ashamed and you can't find it in you to care. "The more I ignored you, the easier it was for me to not have to open up. I didn't have to think about how disappointed you were in me or how much I hurt you. It was selfish but at the time I couldn't offer you anything that you deserved."

"It didn't take you more than a millisecond to fuck someone else." You hated how much that affected you.

"Y/n, I was in a bad place and I turned to sex for comfort. You have to know it meant nothing, those women meant nothing to me." Shuri swears but you can't focus on what she's saying. Only on the confirmation that she had in fact fucked all the women she'd been linked to.

You felt sick just thinking about all the women you compared yourself to when you were bigger. How you cried, starved yourself and worked yourself ragged just to look somewhat similar to those women. The biggest knife to your back was her having a completely different type cast than you, which fucked with your head even more.

"How can you say you love me when all you've done is hurt me." Your breath hitched as you tried to blink away the tears stinging your eyes.

"Sthandwa, losing you hurt like hell." She cups your face in her hands. A move that would have warmed your insides if it weren't for all the mixed emotions running through you. "As much as I wanted you, I needed to lose you to love me. I couldn't be what you needed and that hurt more than anything but I just needed to find myself, and I couldn't do that if we were together because I would have been fighting the same demons."

You aren't sure if her revelation is better than what your mind had conjured up after all this time. Knowing you couldn't help her, fix her, heal her was painful. You would have done anything for her and she didn't want or need that.

The whole time she spoke you felt more and more overwhelmed. You had made so many assumptions as to the reason she cut you off, ghosted you. Nothing compared to this. You didn't know what to feel because how could you be angry at her for putting herself first? She didn't disrespect you, she never cheated, she simply distanced herself slowly before breaking up with you.

Were you selfish for hating her actions? Maybe, however you couldn't dissect that right now. Finally having some answers that had plagued your mind for so long wasn't like what you thought it would feel like. And that in itself was a whole headache.

A knock at your door broke up the uncomfortable silence. You moved off of Shuri's lap and swiped at your face before taking a breath and heading for the door.

"I know damn well you did not kick Dylan out to obsess over that b--" Lexi's rant is cut short when she sees Shuri sitting on the sofa. All the shit she was talking getting caught in her throat as she froze.

"Hello Lexi." Shuri greets her.

"You have some nerve showing up now and attempting to disturb Y/n's life." Lexi hissed. She'd been waiting for this moment for years. She hated the sight of Shuri, after all the sleepless nights, the crying, the break downs, and the not eating. She despised her.

"I--"

"You don't get to speak. Y/n may fall for the bullshit but I won't. Do you know what you did to her? Do you know how badly you hurt her? You look at her now and you more than likely see a finer more detailed her but you didn't get to see what it took to get her here. She cried herself to sleep for months! Wouldn't eat beyond a few bites here and there! She had to get therapy just to fucking get her to eat properly!" Lexi's face was darkening by the second, you had never seen her more angry and that was telling considering she went on a Shuri shit talking rant whenever you went lurking on social media.

Shuri's face dropped as the Words registered in her mind. She looked from Lexi to you and the look made you feel for her. She looked absolutely devastated. You felt embarrassed by Lexi's rant. As if Shuri was seeing you under a new set of eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest and looked away.

"Meanwhile you were off partying and fucking all these models and socialite's. You were the worst thing that happened to her and you have the fucking nerve to show up after all you caused to what? Fuck with her even more?" Lexi's voice is raising with every word and you cringe.

"Lex..." You mutter her name. "Please stop."

She took her irate eyes off of Shuri to look at you. She exhaled before nodding.

"You need to leave Y/n the fuck alone. You don't deserve her. You never have and you never will. She finally has someone that treats her better than you ever did, could. Don't ruin that for her. She has a weakness when it comes to you, don't take advantage of it." Lexi utters.

Shuri swallowed hard. She wasn't sure what she was hoping to accomplish by coming to see you but to hear what you'd been through made her feel disgusted with herself. She never thought you'd take her breaking up with you that bad. She knew you'd be hurt, she knew you'd even be angry but she never knew it could have ever been that bad.

"I'm sorry." Her voices sounds broken, the look in her eyes was haunting you as she stood. "I won't bother you again."

You watched with bated breath as she walked out the door, every step she took causing your chest to tighten.

"Why would you say those things?" You cried. "You had no right to tell her--"

"I had EVERY right Y/n!" Lexi glared at you. "I know you. I know you have never gotten over her. A few sweet words and you'd be right back in that toxic ass bitch's bed."

"And if I was? That's not your problem. I make my own decisions. I don't need you to fight my battles and I damn sure don't need you to speak for me." Every word held contempt. You were pissed at her for overstepping. Even if she'd done it from a good place.

"Y/n look at you right now." She scoffs. "You're so fucking pussy whipped by that selfish bitch that you can't see just how stupid you're being. Do you think Dylan will ever forgive you fucking your ex?"

"Why do you give a fuck about Dylan????? I'm your best friend! What I want should matter to you!" You huff. You felt so drained.

"So you want the same bitch who dropped you like you were trash?" Lexi raised a brow.

"I don't know what I want. But I'd appreciate it if you were supportive instead of judgmental or scolding. I'm grown. If you can't accept me and my 'pussy whipped' mentality then fucking leave. You do not get to make me feel worse than I already do!" You shivered as you let out the sob you were barely holding in. "Don't you think I hate myself already for loving her still? Don't you think I'd let go of her if I could?"

"Oh, babe..." Lexi walked over and hugged you. The moment her arms encased you, you broke down.

The next day is shitty. You choose go ignore texts from Dylan or Lexi. After your breakdown you'd kicked Lexi out wanting to be alone. And so far you were stuck in a shitty mood.

You felt like shit. You couldn't help the feelings you'd tried to bury for the longest. You felt so conflicted. After hearing Shuri out you weren't sure you could be angry at her, but at the same time you didn't think you could trust her again. Then there was Dylan you really liked her but she didn't inspire the feelings Shuri did.

Dylan was safe. She was the known. You knew you could have a life with her that consisted of love, respect and loyalty. She could provide you with a stable life that Shuri just couldn't guarantee. Shuri herself had admitted she was emotionally unavailable and even with what she'd said. She never once stated she wanted you back. She didn't want you. She only wanted to clear the air.

She wasn't chasing you, she wasn't yearning for you. She hadn't missed any sleep over you, she sure as hell wasn't crying for you. Maybe you were being cynical, maybe you were just too tired of hoping and praying for someone to chase you the way you chased Shuri.

Either way you felt guilty for being stuck on Shuri while Dylan tried her best to give you the experiences you deserved. Affection, Time, Comfort, Love, Memories that didn't include you feeling like shit or crying or hurt.

Despite all the things that were on your mind, you sent a text to Shuri's old number.

Come over, please. - Y/n

It was a long shot. You hadn't texted the line since you'd been ignored. You were sure she'd long since disconnected the line. As you busied yourself with cleaning your apartment and making a salmon Caesar salad, you kept checking your phone for a reply despite the fact your sound was on.

You ate your food, while enjoying a glass or three of wine. The latter being the amount you'd drank. You checked your phone to see several hours had passed since the text was sent and you felt foolish for thinking she would have responded. She'd gotten her closure. She could continue to party and fuck all those women.

After placing the leftovers in the fridge and washing the dishes. You decided to do your night routine, before walking around naked. One of the many joys of living in your own spot.

As you went to find something to wear you heard the door and went to look through the peephole. Taking a deep breath you opened the door and let her in. You watched as she take you in, her eyes taking in every inch of you.

You closed and locked the door behind her, before turning to face her. Before you knew it you were lying on your bed with your legs spread and her fingers in your core.

Everything became a blur as you got lost in the sensations. You weren't sure how much time had passed but you knew it had been quite a bit by the darkness in your room.

"I'm sorry..." You whisper as she spooned you.

"You don't have to apologize Y/n." She assures you, her hand rubbing your hip.

"I do. I didn't mean to call you that.."

"You did and that's fine. I'm not delusional nor am I stupid. I know you still love her. I can only hope you can love me just as much." Dylan admits. She was too good for you.

"I don't know what to do." You mumble.

"Then don't do anything. I don't need commitment right now, I just need you however I can get you." Dylan kisses the top of your head.

In the middle of the night your phone alerts you to a text. You turn your head to see Dylan is knocked out before reaching for your phone.

Sorry I didn't respond right away. I wasn't sure what to say. - Shuri

No worries, I wasn't sure this number was still yours anyway. - Y/n

Well now you know it is. - Shuri

Can we have dinner tomorrow? - Shuri

Why? - Y/n

I know I don't deserve you but I can't let go of you again. - Shuri

I'm seeing someone. - Y/n

It can be a friendly dinner. No expectations. I'll take you anyway I can get you. - Shuri

Fine, but you want to take me out. You're picking me up. - Y/n

Great! How does seven tomorrow sound? - Shuri

It's fine. Goodnight. - Y/n

You place your phone done to go back to sleep right as another text comes in.

Goodnight Umfazi, sleep well. - Shuri

#Spotify #shuri black panther #princess shuri #shuri udaku #shuri smut #shuri x fem!reader #shuri x black!reader

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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

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harmless (viii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, protesting, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, gamer (derogatory), smidge of angst

Word count: 3.5k

A/N: listen idk what goes on at construction site and im too sexy to research so we’re going with my version of the world. hello. how are we all doing?

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He doesn’t expect to see you on TV.

In jail maybe, for something scandalous and completely unnecessary, but not TV.

But there you are, a sign board waving around furiously in your hand, voice in protest against the demolition of the community centre. You’re flipping the board back and forth to alternate between the messages you’ve scrawled on the cardboard.

You were among a few protesting, but clearly the loudest.

He thinks that maybe he has the weekend off if you’re too busy fighting big corporations. He’d send his support even.

Until he zeroes in on the sign when it flips over, finally reading what it says.

You better get your ass here, sarge

And so he does.

Half the crowd had dipped by the time he arrived. You were there, still the loudest, but he couldn’t help but notice the lack of people as compared to an hour or two ago on TV. He supposed that justice could wait as long as it took to get lunch from the nearest café.

“I can’t stop you from protesting, y’know.” He’s a little wary of approaching your raging self.

“Oh, hey Barnes. You got my message.” You break away for a second to scream a bunch of obscenities at the gigantic glass building before turning to him. “You wouldn’t be able to.”

“What’s your dumb plan then?”

“First of all, it’s not dumb. It’s stupid. Put some respect on my technological genius.” You held up a finger. “Second of all, it’s not here.”

“Where is it?”

“At the construction site.” You point down the road. “Come on.”

Right along the way you stop to chant another slogan. He waves his arm around meekly in support. He did, after all, have to stand up for what was right, but if his publicist saw him here she’d have an aneurysm.

The construction site isn’t very far off. It’s adjacent to the community centre, which he assumes they’re going to tear down to make more space for whatever shitty commercial building was going to take its place.

There are already a few excavators and dozers there but no one to man them since it was lunch time. What garners his attention is the small silver plate that’s on the floor a few feet ahead in the direction you’re walking towards.

“Here.” You stop once it nears. “The plan.”

“Am I supposed to know what this is?” He lightly kicked at it, earning a smack on the arm from you.

“Stop that,” you scolded, “and look at it. It’s not hard to figure out.”

He narrows his eyes. There’s a small u-shaped piece of metal in the middle of the plate. “That’s a magnet.”

“Exactly.” You clapped your hands together in excitement. “The world’s strongest electromagnet.”

He looks around. The only possibly magnetic things are the cranes and excavators around him.

“You’re going to... stop the machines from moving ahead?” he hesitates in his deduction.

“Yep. Can’t tear anything down if they can’t get to it first.”

Bucky looks down.

“Does this thing even work?” He toes at it again. “It’s kinda small.”

“It works beautifully, stop kicking at it, you demon-”

“What happens if I step on it, huh?” He knows this would get on your nerves wonderfully. He raises his leg. “Do I get to go home for the day?”

“You’re such a little shit,” you whine, reaching for your back pocket. “Stop bullying my invention.”

“’m gonna squish it like a bug.” He’s only half kidding about that part. “I’m gonna-”

Before he can finish his sentence something yanks him down hard. His head nearly hits the ground before his right arm shoots out to break his fall.

"Woah there, don't go falling for me as yet.”

“What the fu-” he begins, eyes locking on his metal arm that was pressed flat against the earth.

“I told you it works,” you say smugly. “Try crushing it now, Barnes. If you can even get off the floor.”

He tugs his hand but it’s firmly attached to the thing. No matter how or where he’s applying the effort, his limb refuses to move. He’s stuck.

“Turn it off,” he sighs. “You made your point.”

“No. Stay there.”

“Y/N, shut up and turn this off,” he groans, trying to find a better position rather than chin down on the ground.

“Lay there and rot. You deserve it for underestimating me.” You huff.

“I wasn’t underestimating you, Jesus Christ.” He really was planning to just step on it, but he had complete faith that it worked.

When he doesn’t receive a reply, his gaze follows yours. Suddenly the crane looks a lot closer than it initially did. Awesome.

“Those are moving towards me.” He picks up on the low groan and creak of metal.

“Yeah, they are.” You nod, one hand on your hip, watching them.

He didn’t think that getting crushed under construction equipment would be how his day went.

“Not my problem,” you decide finally after a bout of silence.

Now that simply wouldn’t do.

Death was definitely a problem, but what was more important was that he was going to get a dust allergy from the mud. He could already feel the blocked nose and temperature incoming.

“Are you really going to waste this on me? Don’t you have a demolition to stop?” He manages to twist his body so that he’s lying on his back.

“Good point,” you squint into the distance at the whirring of the heavy machinery. Their owners wouldn’t be happy to find them missing from their original spot. “But I still can’t help you out.”

“You’re willing to sacrifice your-”

“I can’t help you out because I don’t have an off switch. Yet,” you add the last part in a hurry.

“Then when the fuck were you planning to build one?” He sits up, leaning on his elbow. The cranes weren’t a mini object on the horizon now; the closer they got, the faster they were starting to move towards him.

“I don’t know, after they agreed not to take down the building?”

He could just detach his arm and come back for it later he but had no guarantee that you would stop here for the day or that the vibranium could withstand all that pressure.

“You better make a switch right now and get me out of this, I don’t care how.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumbled, bending to assess how badly he was stuck. “You know, this thing runs really deep into the earth. It’d take forever to dig back up and then get you back to my lab and then build a switch.”

“How long?” He didn’t have a lot of time, clearly, but even generally he didn’t have the whole day to waste. He had a mission the next day. He had to put the fear of death into some Russians and bring some pirozhki back for Nat.

“I don’t know,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Too long for my schedule anyway, I have class prep to do.”

“Motherfucke- that thing’s like twenty feet away.” He’s worried about how you don’t look fazed at all when he points at the stupid machine.

He’s about to volunteer to detach his arm when he realises it’s definitely less than twenty feet now. He had a backup just in case. It didn’t move as smoothly, but who could tell the difference when a couple of tons of pressure was aiming for your face, and hell, if he explained his circumstances of the destruction of his arm to T’Challa-

“Okay, fine.” You reach into your backpack to grab something that looked like a wrist watch. It matched the one already around your hand.

You reach over and clasp it around his hand before turning a dial on the side.

“You ready?” you ask, ignoring the large crane that was starting to charge towards you.

“For what?” he replies, looking down at it. He can barely hear you over the sound of the whining of machinery.

“Teleportation, baby.” You send him a big grin before slamming down on his watch.

“Huh-” His voice cuts off immediately.

If there’s anything that can be said about teleportation, it’s that he feels like every atom in his entire body violently splits to float around briefly before suddenly rejoining again.

The ground beneath him feels different, and it takes him a second to realise that he was on the floor of your lair.

“What the fu-”

“Hello,” your voice comes from above him.

“You can teleport.” It’s not difficult for him to look at you now without the sun in his face. His arm is still stuck to the magnet but since the giant rod it was attached to was no longer deep in the ground, he could lift the entire apparatus up relatively easily.

“What, like it’s hard?” You discarded your bag on the floor. “You good? Takes a while to get used to.”

He gives you a grunt in acknowledgement, shaking his arm to see if he had any luck. It didn’t budge.

“Come on, take a seat.” You gesture to a lab chair you’ve pulled up for him on the raised platform at the front of the room. He realises that this is the first time he’s properly seen what’s actually inside your lair.

There are various buttons that do God knows what, drawers and cabinets painted black, several computer screens and gigantic pillars of glass on either side of the set up that encapsulate some green bubbling liquid. There’s a giant television set up against the wall, divided into several screens.

“Whaddya think?” You do a small swoop of your arm to show off the place.

“Gamer,” he says simply, testing his luck.

“What did you just say to me?” you recoil instantly, disgust on your face.

“It’s a gamer set up.” He points a finger at the TV screen. He was told by Shuri to use it as an insult, but he wasn’t exactly sure why. It just felt appropriate.

“Take that back right now.” You raise a finger accusatorially at him.

“No.” He was sticking with it even though he had no idea what exactly the context was.

“Fuck your arm,” you announce, throwing your hands up in surrender.

“Fuck your demolition then,” he replies simply, getting up from his place on the chair to leave with the thing still attached to him.

He takes one step ahead before your voice rings out.

“Sit down, drama queen,” your voice calls from behind him. “God, you’re annoying.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“I’m the best part of your week,” you fire back, ”and also your only way out of this. Now sit down.”

He didn’t even need the second warning, he was already on the chair the first time around.

“I’m not going to build a switch to turn this off. It’d take too long,” you examine the piece of equipment with more gentleness than he was expecting, “I’m going to remove it instead. It’s gonna take a while, so you better get comfortable.”

“I’m not.”

“That’s so sad,” you say without any indication of wanting to help.

He rolls his eyes.

You pull up next to him, welding glasses covering your face and the tool in your hand.

He turns away when you start, making sure his face is not directly within its trajectory.

He makes himself busy by looking around some more. There are details you’ve put into the place, materials that are non-flammable made up most of the architecture. It’s dramatic, sure, but somehow the designs and colours seemed to go together. It did look sinister, he’d give you props for that.

The space was quite big. It occurs to him only then that that’s how you manage to sneak up on him so often in the past. Everything clicked. Fucking teleportation.

“So,” your voice was raised to speak over the noise. “How’s it going?”

He decidedly doesn’t answer. His position is more than enough.

“Right.” You clear your throat.

He takes to counting the tiles on the floor, figuring out how many were there from the raised platform to the wall of the entrance.

“Not how you imagined your day to go, huh?” you continued despite his lack of response. “But some might say it’s a privilege to be spending the day with a cool, mad scie-”

“Are you going to keep talking?” he interrupts, losing his count on the floor.

“Yeah, duh,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You got anything better to do?”

He didn’t.

“What’s it like living with a bunch of superheroes?” You change course. He’s not sure if he’s really allowed to disclose top secret information. “I assume there’s a lot of protein shakes, talcum powder for the chafing-”

Then again, how much damage could you do by knowing that Steve preferred pancakes over waffles?

“It’s quiet,” he says. “Most of the time.”

“Save all your smart talking for the battlefield, huh?”

He doesn’t reply. It’s quiet around the Tower. A lot of their energy goes towards missions and recuperating once they’re back.

“You go on missions a lot?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Boo, you whore,” you say with mock disappointment.

He got that reference.

“What’s your favourite food then?”

He scrunches his eyebrows.

“What?” The welding stops for a second while you look at him. “Don’t tell me that’s classified too.”

It’s not, he’s just never thought about it.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, “Pasta?”

“Vague, but I’ll take it.”

He used to boil a lot of pasta, from what he could remember of his days in hiding. Cheap and bought in bulk before he saved up enough to buy things like fruits. A lot of the times the amount of sauce he had access to was enough for maybe seasoning, not a whole component on its own.

It’s one of the perks of being a free man in the 21st century he thinks, a steaming bowl of fettuccini drenched in sauce and garlic bread on the side.

“What do you do in your downtime?”

“Nothing.” Well, he considers it to be a pass time and doing nothing is a full time gig. It takes effort to do nothing. He even has days dedicated to doing nothing, as suggested to him by his therapist.

“Really?” You sound a little surprised, although it’s hard to make out when you’re already speaking a lot louder than usual. “No shining your penny collection? No software update for this thing?” You tap at his arm.

There really isn’t anything. Truth be told, he thinks he’s the most boring guy in the Tower. He sticks to himself, has a few succulents that he adores and occasionally watches trashy television. So then why are you so interested in him?

“You’re obsessed with me,” he says pointedly. “Why?”

You give a short laugh. “I think it’s the blue eyes, sarge, they’re really popping today. Gotta say, I’m loving this colour on you. Is it different from the black you wore last week? And from the one from the week before that?”

He looks down at his dark t-shirt and utility pants. He had other clothes but those were reserved for things that were not this.

“Or maybe it’s the grumpiness, I don’t know. I love it when someone shows absolutely no interest in me. Very sexy of you.” Oh jeez, you were going to continue. “Hell, maybe it’s the thighs-”

“Okay,” he interjects, feeling the need to count the tiles more than ever. He equates the heat in his neck from the welding going on beside him.

The loudness of your laughter is clearer than the sound of metal on metal when you tug a large piece of the invention off. Things were moving fast. He could get back home to his Star Trek marathon and forget this day ever happened.

“You know, you’re more interesting than you think,” you pipe up casually.

He doesn’t expect this and therefore he supposes he can’t stop the curiosity from enveloping his face. He hasn’t told you anything about himself, so then the inference you reached came out of nowhere.

Apparently, you take notice of the confusion on his face, even though he can’t see through the giant welding mask, because you let out a chuckle.

“Oh, come on, really? You have no idea?” you ask lightly, pausing to see if he offers anything other than silence. “You’ve come back almost every week even though you know it’s a waste of your time, you always keep your promises and I know for a fact that if you wanted to stop me once and for all, you could have. But you’re not.”

He doesn’t realise you’ve stopped welding until you start again. Good, it gives him an excuse not to have to look at you after that.

Frankly, he’s a little stunned.

You’re not looking at him, he can tell from his peripheral vision. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have a small crush on me.”

At that, he’s forced to roll his eyes out of instinct. Thankfully you do know better.

A few screws out later, another piece comes out. You inform him that’s it’s going to get trickier from there since the circuit was a little more intricate, a lot more time than the original few pieces. He can see his Star Trek marathon fade away in the distance.

You ask him a few more questions. Some he answers with silence, others maybe a tidbit here and there.

“How’s dating now compared to the forties?”

“Strange.” He purses his lips in thought. “One guy asked for a gym date. Didn’t know that was a thing.”

“How’d that turn out?” you laugh.

“He didn’t ask for a second one.” His Bumble matches with girls somehow had gone down since he cut his hair, but he’s not too bothered. Not like there was a huge shortage.

He likes cats, thinks the worst merchandise that they make is the stupid baseball card with his face on it, and doesn’t have social media for the sake of his sanity. He’s seen the thirst tweets.

Clearly, he’s revealed his deepest, darkest secrets. Utterly classified material. But he doesn’t know anything about you other than your name, number, address, where you teach, what your hobby is-

“You, uh-” he hesitates, “You got a favourite food?”

Your hands hold still to hover above what they’re working on. You fight back a smile. “Sure do.”

He asks a few more questions. Shuts up when he feels his social battery drain. That’s enough for the next month, he thinks.

The sun’s dipped down beyond the horizon by the time majority of the work is completed. Both of you have taken a few breaks to fight the feeling of stiffness that was creeping into your joints.

You scoff and tell him you’re not planning to poison him when he denies the offer of a soda. He doesn’t deter in his decision.

“How much to go?” He has a mission tomorrow that he’d really like to get some sleep in before. Waking up at 3am to get ready was the worst part of the job.

“Basically done.” You roll your chair back, rotating your shoulder and stretching your fingers. “There’s just this little part that I can’t access from this angle. How good are you at hanging upside down like a bat?”

Fuck it, he sighs to himself, it was almost finished anyway.

Bucky stands up, tilting his neck to the side slightly before pulling at a small latch under his arm, one so tiny that you’d never make out was even there unless you knew it existed. The arm releases from his shoulder with a small click.

He offers it to you, a piece of your magnet still attached to it.

Your eyes are slightly wide. He raises his eyebrows.

You don’t say anything, just accept it and flip it to a position you were comfortable with. It takes only a minute or two for the sound of the last piece hitting the floor to reverberate through the hall.

You give a small cheer. He lets out a tiny exhale in equal parts fatigue and relief.

“So,” you drawl, handing his arm back to him, “you could have just done that the whole time.”

He doesn’t reply, just slides it back onto his shoulder.

“You had the option of leaving your arm here and coming back later to get it.”

He gives it a few shakes, opens and clenches his fist shut a few times to make sure everything is working.

“You wanted to talk to me.”

He gives you a deadpan look. “I was distracting you.”

“Bullshit,” you laugh.

“Believe what you must.” He shrugs, turning around. “My job here is done regardless.”

“Oh, I believe alright,” you call out from behind him as he walks towards the entrance of your lair. “I believe you’re a sneaky bastard, Bucky Barnes.”

He doesn’t stop himself from smiling at the overdramatic gasp you give when he flips you a middle finger. From the metal arm, too.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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Prisoner - Bucky Barnes

a/n: hi everyone! i am really excited to share this with you, because this one was written for a writing challenge! it is part of @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing challenge and it’s the first time i take part in anything like this with a Bucky fic! not that i have many but im sure more is about to come lol! let me know what you thought after reading!

prompt: Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: blood, violence, mind controlling, just the usual jazz lol

word count: 7.8k

masterlist

Bucky and you were a pair made in hell. Only that he is the only one out of the two of you who really went through the deepest and darkest corners of it while you were basically just waiting in the lobby, as you like to say it.

He wasn’t the only person HYDRA had plans with. Being an orphan from the age of four, you didn’t have the life you probably deserved. Abducted at the age of twenty, you lived in cells and labs for years before they gave you the serum, turning you into a super solider, with determined plans to turn you into a kind of winter soldier 2.0, eventually wiping your head like his and turning you into the perfect assassin. Only that before they could start with the torture, you were rescued by none other than Captain America during a raid on one of HYDRA’s secret bases.

The Avengers gave you shelter when you had absolutely nothing left in life. Your previous life was long forgotten, almost entirely non-existent, all you had is the safety these extraordinary people were offering you, that you took more than willingly.

You were there when Bucky was captured, still very much fighting with his own conscious. You were in the building when Zemo triggered him into being a murderer again and he broke free, fought his ex best friend, saved his life and then disappeared again. You often found yourself thinking about how you’d be just the same if you weren’t saved. How you’d be out there, used as just a toy to end lives.

You never had to go through the process of ripping this side of yourself out of your head, because they never succeeded with you. But Bucky didn’t have it as lucky as you did. When Shuri contacted you that he was awake from his hibernation and they were working on wiping the winter soldier out of him, you didn’t hesitate to drop everything and be there for him. You didn’t know him that well back then, but you felt like you shared a deep connection through the torturous things you had to go through. You were there for him until he finally became entirely himself. No more winter soldier, just Bucky.

The two of you have tens of missions together behind your back at this point. Partners in work, friends in life, that’s what you are. And in your dreams?

Definitely lovers.

Now as you are rotting in a dark and musty cell somewhere in the middle of Poland, you are starting to regret you never really told him how you feel. You had so many chances to come clear but you were too afraid of rejection and the possibility of ruining your strong friendship and most importantly partnership that you chose to keep it all bottled up inside you.

It might have been days or hours since they locked you in your cell, you wouldn’t know. You lost track of time and you’re not expecting to see the daylight anytime soon either. Are they looking for you? Or do they think you died? No one was around you when you were abducted and there were no signs left behind that would have let your team know you survived. There was a massive explosion near your location in the raid, anyone would easily think that you were caught in the middle of that.

Does Bucky think I’m dead too? Has he given up on me?

You’re starting to think you’ll never find that out. Just like how you’ll never find out what it’s like to grow old, have a home that’s not just a room in a facility, spend your days with your hobbies rather than trainings and missions.

As the thick metal door opens and a creak of light breaks the heavy darkness in your cell, you look up at the man who walks in. If your hands weren’t cuffed with fucking vibranium cuffs, you would easily kill him in a heartbeat along with the three bulky guards he brought with himself.

“It’s time to make a use out of you,” the man grinned before two guards grabbed you by your arms, dragging you out of the cell, taking you God knows here. Probably to your death.

“You have to check twice,” Buckly growled upon hearing Agent Hill’s report from what was found at the scene. Or what was not found.

“No signs of Y/N were found, Bucky. But that explosion was so massive, it wiped out everything in it’s close radius. If she stood close to that…” “But what if she didn’t?!” he snaps, barking at the innocent agent. The room falls silent, no one dares to speak up against Bucky’s raging anger. Fury steps forward and places a hand to the upset soldier’s shoulder as a soft warning to control himself. Bucky takes a deep breath before looking over at Fury, no longer determined to rip anyone apart who wants to argue with him.

“Let’s all calm down and see what we can do. Do you think she survived?” Fury simply questions him. Bucky taps on the panel and a map of the location pulls up on the big screen, showing a little red dot at the places where the team members were located last before the explosion.

“Her last location was far enough of it for her to survive,” he explains pointing at your dot.

“But if she moved just a little closer—“ Hill starts again, but she quickly silences herself when Bucky shoots her another warning look.

“I think she was captured. We can’t just assume that she is gone that easily,” he insists, refusing to even think about the possibility of you dying in that explosion. That’s just simply not an option for him.

Fury stares back at him hard, searching for something in his eyes before he finally nods.

“Alright, let’s get on the case. We need to find out where they could be possibly hiding her.”

Bucky breathes out in relief as the team gets down to work immediately. This is not the part he can help with, he sucks at technical things, so now he is left with just the painful wait until a lead pops up and he can come to your rescue.

The gym is eerily quiet without your bickering. He always trains with you and it’s been one of his favorite things to do. The two of you liked to race in everything and thought you both knew he was faster and stronger, he always let you win a few times, giving you the chance to tease him about being second after you.

But now as he is punching the heavy bag on his own, he wishes he could hear one of your snarky comments about his lopsided moves, because he still hasn’t entirely gotten used to the uneven strength in his hands.

“If she is really out there, I’m sure she is doing fine.”

Sam walks in, his steps echo in the empty room and though Bucky stops for a moment, he doesn’t look at him, just keeps punching the bag.

“She is tough, Bucky. She can take care of herself.”

“Not when she is outnumbered by a dozen,” he growls back. “I know she is tough, but sometimes that’s just not enough.”

For a long time Bucky thought Steve is the only person he can work with as partners, but he had to realize that he had a special bond with you through the tortures you both had to go through and sometimes he felt like you were the only one who understood him truly. Even though your brain wasn’t washed like his, you were close to it and it gave you a great understanding of what he had to go through.

But it wasn’t just about the trauma. As you grew closer to each other you easily became friends, really good ones for all that matters. Bucky loved spending time with you on and out of missions as well. He finds your humor a little dark but quite entertaining, he likes how you are more social than he is so whenever you need to work with someone else you always take the role of the communicator, building a bridge between him and others easily. He loves how much you care about others, how you show your appreciation for your loved ones in the tiny details as making breakfast or baking their favorite cookies. He loves the way you smile whenever he messes up something and you have to take care of it eventually, he loves the way you laugh at his lame, old jokes, he loves how you always fall asleep on horror movies and he loves…

He loves you.

For years he thought he would never feel this way again for anyone, because it’s so raw and human, he thought it was wiped out of him when he became the winter soldier, but you proved him wrong. And now he wishes he told you how he felt, because if you won’t return, he has to live his life knowing you never knew how much you meant to him.

Tossing and turning in his bed, he stays wide awake, not able to even close his eyes when he knows you are out there somewhere, because you have to be. He refuses to nurse the thought of you gone for even a second. You’re qualified, the best fighter he has ever met and he has this feeling in his gut that you made it out of there alive. Maybe you knew the explosion was about to happen. Maybe you ran the opposite way before it was too late. Or maybe you found shelter, or simply was just knocked out of the impact of it and they captured you.

So many possibilities that are way more better than the fatality of your death.

Kicking the silky sheets off his body, the ones he deep down hates because it’s way too smooth against his skin, something he still has a hard time to grow accustomed to, he pulls a hoodie over his head before creeping his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway until he reaches yours. He stands still at the door, a sense of anxiety washing over him as he thinks about what’s inside. Not that it’s the first time he is here, he has spent endless nights in your room, the two of you talking and laughing as you showed him your favorite movies he hasn’t seen. You often bought a big bag of snacks for your movie nights and the two of you sprawled across your comforter, your legs sometimes touching, or there was this one time when he let you braid his hair.

“You should come to missions like this,” he remembers your teasing as you ran your fingers through the neat braids running along his head.

“And give the boys another reason to tease me? No thank you,” he chuckled.

“Another? What do they tease you about?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows as you popped a gummybear into your mouth.

You. It was you they teased him about and how obvious his feelings for you are. Seemingly everyone saw how you looked at each other but you and him.

He twists the silver doorknob before pushing the door open, part of him hoping to see you curled up under the sheets, snoring lightly and peacefully, but the room is terribly empty without your presence.

Everything is just the way you left them. The abandoned workout clothes hanging from the edge of the hamper, your running shoes under the window, your journal lying on your nightstand with a pen on top and his favorite… a framed picture of you and him on your bookshelf with all your favorite romantic novels stacked neatly on the shelves.

Bucky steps closer, his hands hidden in the pooch of his hoodie as he stares at the photo. It was taken a few days after the two of you returned from Wakanda, Bucky was finally free from the winter soldier and it was probably the best few days of his life. The two of you decided to take a trip to London before returning to your duty, a place you always wanted to see, but never really got the chance. It was just the two of you, taking some time away from the avengers, SHIELD, all the bad in the world, pretending like you’re two normal people for just a weekend before returning to your duties in New York. The photo was taken when you returned from the getaway, Steve took it in the gym, the two of you sat at the edge of the boxing ring after a killer fight. It was a simple moment, his arm stretched behind you as you leant against his side. The glow from your alone time was still apparent on your faces, neither of you felt happier in life before, or not at least in the last decade.

His vision blurs as he runs a finger through the frame, a sharp pain stabbing in his chest as he watches your bright smile and rosy cheeks. He never thought he would feel this way about anyone, not after everything he went through, but you proved him wrong. You showed him how much more human he still is that what he thinks of himself and you might not even have realized it.

Too restless to go back to sleep, Bucky storms out of your room, carefully closing the door behind him before going down to Tony’s office, determined to make himself useful. He can’t just sit around and wait, he needs to feel like he is doing everything he can.

When the first rays of the sun shine above the horizon and the first agents arrive for their shifts, He has already gone through an immense amount of security tapes from all around the world that had even the slightest match through the face recognition system with yours. None of them turned out to be real, but he never gave up.

“Barnes, were you here all night?” Tony asks in awe when he finds the long-haired avenger with his eyes glued to one of the screens, watching yet another tape.

“Not all night, but… for the majority, yes,” he nods without even sparing Tony a look.

Any other day Tony would tease him for maybe finally doing something useful, or not only using his fist in a case, but not today. Everyone on the team knows how much you mean to him and how hard it is to not know where you are. So he just nods, places his coffee down to the desk and gets down to work without a word.

Soon enough the rest of the team joins them and everyone is working together to find even the slightest lead. Every other minor case is put aside, you are their priority.

The more time passes by without anything found, Bucky feels like a part of him is dying more and more. Hopelessness and fear is taking over his already messed up mine, but he is still holding onto the light and that small little feeling in his gut that you are still out there somewhere. And then they find a lead.

“We’ve got a match!” Nat beams from behind her screen and everyone gathers around her as a series of blurry photos play in front of them, showing a group of men carrying a clearly unconscious person to a minivan before driving away. The quality is definitely not the best, your face is also half covered by your hair, but your uniform gives you away. It really is you.

“Where and when was this taken?” Bucky asks in a hurry.

“Last night, outside of Krakow. We have one last coordinate for the van,” Nat informs the group as she brings up a map, a red dot signaling the last spotting of the same van.

“There’s a closed off military based near,” Steve chimes in, pointing at the map a few miles away from where the pictures were taken.

“Alright, suit up everyone. Guess we are going to Poland,” Tony announces and a moment later everyone is running off to get ready for takeoff.

The ground doesn’t feel that bad anymore. It’s wet and there’s gravel here and there, the coldness is not too comfortable either, but you are getting used to it. Probably because it makes you feel things and that’s important to you now. In times when you often lose contact with your own body and mind, feelings keep you grounded and they remind you of who you are.

Last night you finally found out who caught you and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Aziel Nowak is a name you’ve already heard before, but not in the best way. The guy is totally crazy and if that’s not enough, he is kind of a genius as well. These two never sit well with each other and you knew it was just a matter of time before you had to face him, but you didn’t think these would be the circumstances.

Nowak’s father, Aleksander was a well-known scientist in the circles of HYDRA, he was one of the assholes responsible for wiping Bucky’s head, unfortunately, his own creation brought his death upon him. Bucky killed him during a raid, all while Aleksander was trying to trigger him, but Bucky was faster than him and shoot him in the head before he could get the second trigger word out. Aziel swore to seek revenge for his father’s death and made it clear that his big plan is to take out every avenger one by one, but all during completely destroying Bucky in every possible way.

Stuck in a clear tube, one that was built specially for super soldiers, you stood in his lab as he got everything ready for his master plan with you.

“The winter soldier was full of flaws,” he started to explain to you, working behind his computer while you couldn’t do anything to stop the madness. Even if you could break out of the tube, you were terribly outnumbered with the hoard of guards in the room, all of them armed and ready to rip you apart. It would have been a suicidal mission.

“The trigger words take a lot of time to enlist and sometimes, we just don’t have time for that. We need our soldier instantly, in a push of a button, if I might add,” he smirked and you almost gagged. He was a lowlife, disgusting middle-aged man, completely out of touch of reality, wrapped up in his own head with his ridiculous misconceptions and twisted view of the world.

“But fear no more, I have a better solution,” he grinned at you, holding up a tiny chip between his fingers and your jaw flexed. You didn’t know what it was, but you had guesses. “Spent years working on this little thing and now I can finally test it out and you get to be the lucky one to do it. Start the gas,” he ordered and a moment later some kind of gas started to fill the tube up. Your pathetic attempt to escape was cut off shortly when you felt your whole body freeze as you inhaled the gas. You just stood there, completely no control over your own body. The back of the tube opened with a hiss once the gas cleared out from around you and you felt a sharp stabbing at the back of your neck. You couldn’t even gasp, you were as frozen as a statue, unable to defend yourself and you truly felt like it’s the end. You wish it was though.

Nowak implanted the chip into your spine and you could feel the wires cling into your nerves, melting into your body like a parasite. A single tear rolled down your cheek as your wound was closed off.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Nowak smirked when he walked into your sight again. He had a control panel in his hands and as he pushed some buttons electricity bolted through your whole body and you completely lost control over your actions. Your body moved without your consent, arms and legs acting without your brain actually telling them.

You became a prisoner in your own body.

The night was spent fighting with Nowak’s best guards as he tested out his new toy: you. He could control your whole body thanks to the chip and while you were screaming and shouting in your head, there was no escape. He made you into his ragdoll and there was nothing you could do against it.

He switched the chip off when you were thrown back into the cell. You sobbed for hours probably as you tried to get the thing out of yourself, blood was dripping down your back, but you had to accept that it was too deep, clinging onto your spine, you couldn’t get it out with your bare hands.

Now you are lying on the floor and try to remember who you are, because you’ve been feeling like you lost touch with your true self. The only thing that has been helping is remembering your favorite memories.

It makes your heart flutter when you realize that most of them have Bucky in them. Your most favorite? The time you spent in London. Those days are the closest and dearest to your heart and now you just wish you could go back in time for even just an hour. Strolling down the streets like any other tourists without a worry in the world, watching the city lay in front of you as you ride the London Eye or walking along the River Thames. You felt so normal, so happy, sharing your time with the man you probably love the most in the whole wide world.

“I could live here,” you sighed when the Big Ben came into view above the brick buildings.

“It rains too much here,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at you, his arm brushing against yours.

“I like the rain. Love the smell of it, love how refreshing it feels after it,” you chuckled.

“And what would you want to do here?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe I would work at a library. Or a café!”

“You want to be a barista!” He chuckled, smirking down on you. “Is this why you wanted Tony to get a fancy espresso machine?”

“Well, not just because of this, I just really like good coffee,” you smiled up at him. “What, do you not like my coffee?”

“Oh, I do. You make the best in the tower,” he nodded.

You could always talk about anything and everything with him. He understood you so well and you liked to think it worked the other way as well. That you were just as important to him as he was to you.

“Bucky.” His name falls from your lips like a desperate plea, as if you could summon him and he’d be here any moment to rescue you. But nothing changes and you are still on your own.

You’ve been wondering if this is how he felt when they made him to be the winter soldier. If he went through the same struggle or if it was worse. He said he doesn’t remember everything he did, as if sometimes he just completely disappeared in his own head, but other times live vividly in his memories.

You remember everything too. The chip has no control over your mind and thoughts, it works as another brain that takes over control in your body, caging your mind in your own head while it works your body.

A siren rings through the building and you gasp, your head snapping in the direction of the metal door. You hear orders in a foreign language and running footsteps somewhere down the hallway. Pushing yourself up you move to the far end of the room as you hear someone approaching your cell. Before the lock clicks on the door, you feel the familiar electricity run through your body and you breathe out before you lose control over your body again. You stand up, not because you want to, but because this is what they ordered. The door swings open and Nowak walks in.

“Guess your little friends figured out where you are. It’s time to show them my masterpiece.”

The military base is pretty lively for a closed off one. As the team is approaching the complex they inspect the possibilities they have to get inside.

“Alright, we have to be smart about this. Nowak is a psychopath,” Tony announces when the quinjet is nearing the base. “Barron and Natasha, we need a diversion. Banner, you stay here and only come in if it’s needed,” he starts and everyone nods along. “Wanda, the same goes for you as well. Listen to the call word and be ready to interfere. Sam and I are going to clear the main building, try to find Nowak. Barnes, Cap, you are tracking Y/N down. Everything clear?”

“As daylight,” Steve nods as he grabs his shield from the side.

Once the quinjet touches down, everyone goes their own way, going along the plan they discussed. Nat and Clint do well with the diversion, a great amount of guards and soldiers are drawn in their way as Tony and Sam make their way into the main building of the base.

“Where should we look, Buck?” Steve asks his friend as they hide behind one of the quarters. Bucky looks around, inspects the place and nods towards a building that’s clearly powered with a lot more electricity for whatever reason, Thick cables running inside, snaking under the doors, pouring extra power inside. Steve nods and once the way is somewhat cleared out, they head inside.

They take down the few HYDRA agents that try to get in their way as they run further into the building without even breaking a sweat. They easily reach the lab and it almost feels way too easy.

“Something is not right,” Steve says as the two of them walk into the empty lab, curious inspecting all the machines and equipment they have absolutely no idea how to work.

Bucky’s eyes fall on the tube in the far corner of the room and walking closer he gets an eerie feeling and he can already picture you trapped inside, the thought making his stomach churn.

“Anyone found Nowak yet?” Steve asks through the com.

“Negative,” Nat grunts back in the middle of her own fight.

“Haven’t seen the fucker either,” Tony answers and Steve sighs.

Just as Bucky is about to head to the door that leads out of the lab at the other end from where they entered, the sliding door opens and they both get ready to fight whatever is about to come into sight. But neither of them were expecting you to walk out.

“Y/N?!” your name falls from Steve’s lips as he lets his shield down, staring back at you confused. But you don’t answer, just stop a few feet away from them, staring blankly ahead of you and Bucky swears he was on the verge of fainting from his anger, because he knew those eyes all too well, because he used to see them in the mirror.

“Y/N, what did they do?” he whispers desperately, a hand reaching out to you, but it’s quickly cut off when you grab his hand and easily throw him over, his back contacting the floor with a painful thump.

Hell breaks loose fast as you start fighting them off, using the advantage of their shock upon seeing you, working against them while they try to make you remember them.

“Y/N, it’s us! We don’t want to hurt you!” Steve growls when he saves himself from one of your hits, his shield coming between the two of you.

I know! I know it’s you, but I can’t do anything! You scream in your own head, unable to even form the words. You’re a prisoner in this body you thought to be yours, but it betrayed you.

You never fought both of them before at the same time, but now that it’s happening, you’re surprisingly good at it, handling two super soldiers at the same time when one of them has a vibranium arm while the other one keeps throwing a vibranium shield at you, though it’s clear they aren’t giving their best, afraid of hurting you even though you’re in killer mode right now and determined to rip them apart.

“Do you think they did the same to her as they did to you?” Steve asks out of breath when you throw them against a wall and return to fight Bucky.

“It’s something else. Look at the back of her neck!” he growls when you throw a punch in his way that he catches with his metal arm, holding your fist tight as you keep pushing it and this moment of pause allows Steve to take a look at you from the back.

“Oh shit,” he breathes out.

Yes! Take this shit out and I’m free! You scream, but no one hears. Your fist frees from Bucky’s grip and you kick him in the stomach so hard he snaps against the desk behind him and wasting no time you jump right at him, the fight continues.

“If anyone finds Nowak, don’t kill him. We’ve got Y/N and she is being controlled by something,” Steve explains through his earpiece before throwing his shield in your direction right when you’re about to attach your hands to Bucky’s neck. It hits you in the side and you fall to the ground grunting.

“Don’t fucking hurt her!” Bucky growls at him, but Steve gives him a look.

“She is trying to kill us, we have to do something!”

You’re on your feet fast, already charging at Steve and it catches him by surprise, he stumbles back as your knee collides with his stomach, a punch thrown at his pretty face.

“I see Nowak!” Tony’s voice comes through the earpieces, but they don’t have the chance to celebrate, because you’re kicking their ass big time.

When you want to launch yourself at Steve again, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist from behind and he pulls back, pushing you away, making you stumble, but you’re back on your feet quickly. Your eyes meet and you want to touch him so badly, run into his arms, tell him how happy you are to see him and that he was the only thing that kept you sane, but instead, you throw yourself at him, fist colliding with the side of his head.

I’m so sorry, Buck!

“We’ve got Nowak!” Tony announces and Steve sighs in relief.

“Does he have something like a remote or controller?” he asks while you and Bucky are at each other’s throat. You throw him to a desk and drag him across it, papers and equipment flying everywhere before he ends up on the floor groaning. You have the perfect chance to throw a punch in again, but you turn around and run back towards the door you came through.

“He has a controlling panel, do you think it’s connected to Y/N?” Tony asks.

“Very much likely, but please hurry up, she is trying to run away!” Steve begs as they both start to chase after you in the labyrinth of hallways. You’re footsteps are echoing on the checkered floors as they are trying to catch up with you. You take a left turn and get out of their vision just for a split second. As they get around the corner they immediately freeze when they find you standing there, a gun pointing right at Bucky’s head, a deadly, but still rather blank expression in your eyes.

“Shit,” Steve breathes out.

“Y/N, I know you are in there,” Bucky speaks up.

Yes! I’m here! I’m here Bucky!

“The controller is locked, but we are working on it,” Tony announces through the com, but it doesn’t help their situation right now. If he can’t unlock the controller, you are likely to shoot them both if they don’t do something. As you stare back at your two friends, you are using everything in you to try to get back the control over your own body, but it’s like you’re just silently screaming in an empty, locked room.

“I know you hear me. Please, try to fight it off. I know how hard it is, but if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Bucky continues and if only you were in charge of yourself, you’d already be sobbing at the broken expression he is staring back at you with. Your finger is on the trigger and you can feel your muscles trembling.

“Buck, we need to disarm her,” Steve tells him, but he shakes his head.

“No. We can’t do that without hurting her and I’m not doing that.”

Oh Bucky! That’s the only way now!

“She is gonna shoot, Bucky. We have to do something!”

“She could have already fired. She is fighting it off, I know it.”

“Or maybe it’s just whatever it is inside her messing with her head as Tony is trying to break the controller.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, I know you can do this. I’m not gonna hurt you, you can fight it!” Bucky continues, ignoring Steve’s words, who stands behind him with his jaw flexed.

I can’t do it, you need to knock me out! I’m not strong enough to do it!

You are trying everything you can and you are already holding your finger back, you would have already pulled the trigger if it wasn’t for your resistance somewhere in this cage. But you just know you’re not strong enough to stop yourself forever, they will need to disarm you, there’s no choice.

You stare back at Bucky, his forehead and left cheek bloody from wounds you gave him and he probably has a few bruises under his leather jacket as well, all because of you. Nowak made you hurt the person you love the most and now his life is being threatened. You know he won’t fight you, he will not try to disarm you, he would rather take the bullet than cause pain to you, more than what he already did during your fight.

The gun trembles in your hand as you’re desperately trying to gain your control back, sweat beading on your forehead, your chest heaving.

“Stark, we are running out of time!” Steve warns him through the com.

“Just one more second!” he answers, but you’re afraid you don’t have that much time.

“Y/N, please!” Bucky begs, a single tear rolling down his cheek and you can feel your own heart breaking at the sight of him. You can’t believe it’s because of you, you are causing him pain when you swore to work to see him his happiest in his life.

Your jaw flexes and you are on the verge of breaking, the tiniest light flashing in front of you as you keep pushing, trying to take back control, but then you feel like losing again. It all happens so fast, you can barely process.

You know you’re about to pull the trigger, you can’t stop yourself, but just as you are about to do it, Tony’s voice rings through the com.

“We got it!”

In a blink of the eye, the invisible grip that’s been keeping you tight vanishes, the cage opens up and suddenly you feel yourself come alive again as the most painful, deafening and desperate scream rips from your throat, the gun falling from your grip before you collapse on the ground in complete shock of everything that went down.

“Get it out! Get it out! I can’t do this!” you scream, your nails scratching the back of your neck once again, trying to reach the chip, but you’re just breaking your own skin once again, blood dripping down your back.

“Hey, it’s alright, sweetheart. We got you. You’re gonna be fine!” Bucky falls to his knees, cradling you into his arms as you sob into his hard chest, hands gripping the fabric of his jacket tight as your salty tears soak your cheeks, your whole body shaking.

“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you repeat, shaking your head as if you were trying to get rid of the memories, but they are still there, you still know what it’s like to be a prisoner in your own head but at least now you are with Bucky and that brings you the peace of mind you’ve been seeking all along.

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s alright. You’ll be alright, sweetheart, you’re safe with me now,” he murmurs into your hair, his arms holding you so tight it’s starting to get hard to even breathe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You cling onto him as if your life depends on it and in a way, it really does. Bucky gathers you into his arms as you keep mumbling your apologies and begs to make it stop even though you are not being controlled any longer. He carries you to the quinjet as he keeps murmuring reassuring words into your ear, telling you that everything is going to be alright now. You are in good hands.

You don’t let go of him on the way back and he doesn’t seem to want to do it either. Curled up on his lap, you let yourself fall into a shallow slumber as his fingers are dancing up and down your back, keeping you close to his chest, the feeling of finally being home taking over your senses.

Arriving back to New York you are helped off the jet by Bucky or course as he walks you to the med bay where Dr. Cho is already waiting for your arrival.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. We’ll fix you up,” she smiles at you as you are expected to let go of Bucky, but your head snaps back in his direction in panic, hands grabbing onto his anxiously.

“It’s alright, I’ll be here waiting for you. My stupid face will be the first thing you see when you wake up,” he jokes, his tired eyes fixated on you as you hesitate to let go of him, but eventually do it.

Keeping his promise Bucky stay outside as long as you are under Helen’s hands, not able to even drag him away to change clothes. The only thing he can make himself is dragging his ass to the nearest restroom to at least wash the dried blood off his face, but he quickly returns to his previous spot.

It turns out removing the chip is a bit more complicated than anyone thought. The micro wires are so deep in your nerves, Dr. Cho has to be careful if he doesn’t want to paralyze you with just one wrong move. Five entire hours pass by before the chip is finally out of you, before they place you in one of the rooms until you wake up from the anesthesia. Bucky is right by your side, holding your hand soothingly as he waits for you to open your eyes again. When he sees your eyelashes fluttering, he holds his breath as your eyes open and you adjust to the light and the view around you.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” he softly asks, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“Like… I just fought against two super soldiers,” you breathe out in a joking manner that makes him chuckle. You’re back and he missed you more than he could ever express.

As you let out a long and heave breath, you feel everything coming back to you and you can’t stop your sobs and the tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky,” you gasp and he is quick to leap forward, one hand holding yours while the other one cups your cheek as he makes you turn your head towards him.

“No, no, no. You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. You did everything you could, you fought it so well!”

“But I hurt you! I didn’t want to hurt you, I was screaming inside my head, but I just couldn’t stop!” you sob shaking your head.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault! Please don’t think for a moment anyone blames you!” he begs, his bright blue eyes glued to your pained face as you fight your tears back. A hand moves to the back of your neck, feeling the wound where the chip used to be.

“Is it gone?” you ask in a whisper.

“It is. Helen took good care of you. You’re free now,” he smiles and you feel a wave of relief washing over you right away. Your body is yours again, finally.

“I didn’t think I would be myself again,” you admit, your voice slightly shaking. Bucky’s heart breaks at your words, but remains silent as you carry on. “I kept thinking of memories that feel the closest to me and it was the only thing that kept me sane. And I realized that the dearest ones are all with you, Bucky.”

His lips part at your revelation as his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He has been waiting for this moment to come for what feels like eternity and now it might become his reality.

“When I thought I would never be the same again, I just thought about… you. That I don’t get to see you again, when I always wanted to spend all my days with you, Buck.”

“I want to spend all my days with you too, sweetheart,” he breathes out, leaning closer until his face is only inches away from yours. “I hated the thought of you being gone without ever telling you how I feel.”

“How do you feel, Bucky?” you ask in a trembling voice.

“You are my everything, Y/N. You are my best friend and everything beyond and I was such a fool for not telling you before this, but the thought of losing you made me realize that I have to stop being a coward,” he chuckles with tears bubbling in his eyes. You reach out and cup his face in your palms, your thumb running along the dark circles under his eyes and you wonder if he even slept a moment since you’ve been gone.

“We were both idiots, don’t beat yourself,” you chuckle softly, making his mouth turns into a grin before he leans closer and his lips finally press against yours, capturing them in a sweet, so-good-to-have-you-back kiss you’ve been dreaming about for probably way too long but at least since London. It’s soft and gentle, filled with the promise of many more to come. Thought you’re trying to stretch it as long as possible, a cough is heard from the door and you both pull back, turning your attention at the rest of the team standing there, all of them happy to see you again, or maybe to see the two of you finally taking the step they’ve been waiting for to happen.

“I guess you are feeling better now, yeah?” Nat smirks as she walks further inside, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Much better,” you admit with a shy chuckle. “Thank you for the rescuing, guys.”

“It’s the least we could do,” Sam smirks at you.

“And Barnes would have gone nuts if we didn’t find you so that was also quite motivating,” Tony jokes nodding towards the man by your side, who is still holding your hand as if you could disappear any moment.

“Steve, I’m sorry for trying to hurt you,” you breathe out at the sight of the tall blonde man, but he just shrugs with a warm smile.

“It’s alright. At least now we know that you could easily kick our ass at the same time,” he jokes nodding towards Bucky, though you all know they were holding back, not wanting to hurt you. You still remember the look in Bucky’s eyes when you held him at gunpoint. He could have easily disarmed you but it would have cost you at least a broken arm, yet he refused to lay a hand on you and believed that you could control yourself again.

When the team is gone and it’s just the two of you again in the room, Bucky sits at the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with your hand over the white sheets as you let yourself fall into the sense of safety again.

“You should have disarmed me, Bucky,” you tell him, breaking the silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I could have killed you,” you retort.

“I know,” he nods, his lips pressing into a thin line. “But I just couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

“The fact that I was hurting you was already a pain, Bucky. You should have just knock me out.”

“Would you ever do the same to me?” he questions and though you open your lips to answer, you realize that he is right. You would have never hurt him on purpose, not even if he was back at being the winter soldier. You could have never hurt your sweet Bucky, the man that means more than anything ever in your torturous life.

“See? How do you expect me to do it then?” he smiles softly. “But it doesn’t matter, you are free now. It’s all in the past.”

“It still broke my heart, seeing you like that.”

“I can only say the same,” he breathes out, his eyes softening on you. “I wanted to help you so bad, but I couldn’t…”

“You helped me a lot,” you smile at him, brushing a few loose strands of hair out of his forehead. He smiles back at you and through his ocean eyes are still looking tired and a little bloodshot, but there’s a tiny little glimmer in them, something you’ve seen before, it was the most apparent when Shuri was successful at ridding him from the winter soldier and you also saw it in London. You’ve been seeking this little shine for a long time and you’re happy to have it back.

“We should go on a vacation,” he suggests, his smile growing wider with each passing second.

“Oh, I didn’t know avengers had vacation days,” you tease him.

“They do, as much as they want,” he nods grinning. “Where would you want to go? Do you want to go back to London?” he questions as he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your bruised knuckles.

“Mm, we should go somewhere new,” you purse your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see Amsterdam.”

“Then Amsterdam it is,” he chuckles before leaning closer he kisses your lips gently with a promise of a bright future together.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#kas9kwc #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes

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side-shawty · 4 years ago

Text

Burn XVI (Stark!Reader)

XVI: Standing on the Sun

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Type: series

Prompt/Summary: True love comes in many forms.

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Stark!reader, Tony Stark x daughter!reader

Three weeks later and things were better. You had gone back to New York with the team just in time for Peter’s graduation. Even though the whole team wanted to be there Peter decided that he didn’t need a spectacle and in the end, his girlfriend and mentor would be the only ones attending while the rest set up for a surprise party later.

Girlfriend. You couldn’t get over how nice that sounded. As you stood in front of the mirror in Peter’s favorite multicolored sundress you smiled.

It was off the shoulder hugged your body perfectly and ended just above your knee in a ruffled hem. You left your makeup light on account of the heat and pulled your hair back in a curly bun with a few curls framing your face and your edges expertly laid.

You absentmindedly brushed the scar on the back of your neck. It brought back all kinds of horrors that you had to push aside. That was something for therapy.

As you were spritzing perfume on yourself there was a knock at your door.

“Y/N you ready? Car’s running,” your dad called from the other side of the door.

“Yeah,” you replied and opened the door to face your father dressed neatly in a blue button-down, pants, sneakers, and his signature glasses, “Handsome,” you told him simply hooking your arm around his and beginning to walk down the hall towards the elevators.

“Beautiful,” he replied and you reached the entrance in no time, the doors open and waiting.

You got to Peter’s school in no time having left early enough to evade the worst of the traffic. The ceremony itself was swift, the graduating class was small but to your surprise, as you and your father were waiting with the other families outside for the graduates you felt a light tap on your shoulder.

Confused, you turned around only to be met with the beaming smile of your favorite Princess.

“Shuri?!” You asked incredulously.

“Y/N! I’ve missed you how are you?” She asked pulling you into a hug which you gratefully accepted.

“I’m good! What are you doing here?” You asked pulling back, still a little shocked.

“Well, it just so happens that someone I am seeing is graduating today as well,” she smiled and wiggled her eyebrows at you.

You tilted your head in question but before she could answer you heard her name being called. You both turned around at the sound to see MJ practically running towards her.

Shuri opened her arms and instead of a hug, MJ planted a sweet kiss on her lips.

You were shocked, you put your hands on your hips and glared playfully as they pulled away.

“So neither of you were planning to tell me about this?” You questioned and they just smiled at you, threading their hands together.

“Oh you would’ve figured it out at the party later,” Shuri giggled, leaning into MJ’s side. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your excited smile.

“I think it’s sweet, you guys are a great match,” Tony spoke up, smiling at the two young ladies

“Thanks, Stark,” Shuri said and MJ nodded in agreement, she’d never admit it but the man still made her nervous.

“Shuri, my mom wants us to take pictures before we leave,” MJ said and her girlfriend nodded.

“No problem, see you guys at the party later,” Shuri spoke.

“Bye guys,” MJ waved and they both walked away, giddy as ever.

You and your father both waved back.

“Wow they’re so cute together,” you told him and he hummed in agreement. “Speaking of cute, where is my boyfriend?”

“Gross Y/N,” he replied but began looking around regardless.

“Found him, Hap and May got to him first,” he said pointing to the trio.

The excitement you felt just from seeing the back of his head was almost too much, you practically sprinted and threw your arms around him. He jumped slightly at the contact as you pressed yourself against his back.

“Congratulations Peter!” He turned around in your arms and smiled down at you.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he beamed and cupped your face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Hey, don’t hog the graduate,” Your father complained and you rolled your eyes before releasing him.

Your father was quick to give Peter a hug as he walked up to him, “Congrats kid. Allow me to be the first—”

May cleared her throat.

“Second,” Tony tried again.

Happy silently shook his head in response.

“Fine third you a graduation present,” he finally finished.

With that, he fished a set of keys out from his pocket and handed them to Peter.

“Is this...” Peter began but was slightly stunned into silence.

“Yup, the Spyder with a few Stark modifications, enjoy it,” he smiled.

“Wow, thank you so much, Mr. Stark,” Peter gave your father another big hug which also knocked the man over.

“Wanna take it for a test drive?” You offered.

Peter nodded excitedly and you handed your own keys over to Tony before taking your boyfriend's hand.

“We’ll meet you guys at the tower!” You called over your shoulder as you waved goodbye to the group.

When you were both out of earshot May spoke absentmindedly to the two men.

“I can’t wait to plan their wedding,” she smiled.

Tony rubbed at his eyes.

——

When you got to the car Peter was quick to open the door for you and then toss his cap and gown in the trunk before slipping into the driver's seat.

“I think this might be too nice for me, Y/N” he spoke, taking in all the upgrades and sheer beauty of it.

“Please, you deserve this and so much more,” smiled taking his hand, prompting him to look in your eyes and smile back.

He took the hand that was on the steering wheel and expertly avoided your low bun to place his hand on the back of your neck to bring you in for a slow, loving kiss.

Once again you thought about how much you loved him, how perfect everything felt when you were together. It was like every single star is the sky aligned just to shine on the two of you.

Just before things get too heated you place your hand on his chest and push him back slightly, resting your forehead on his.

“As much as I’d love to christen your new car, we should get back to the tower. No reason to keep them waiting,” you smirked.

Peter gave a dramatic sigh and sat back in his seat, “Fine~ I guess this is what I get for having the girl everybody wants,” he said starting the car.

“But don’t forget she only has eyes for you,” you have the back of his hand a kiss as he pulled out of the lot.

“And I for her,” he smiled.

——

Once the two of you got back to the tower you had to try you best to force Peter to avoid looking for the others. Nat had texted you on the way that they weren’t quite done with everything and you were tasked with distracting him.

And distract him you did.

Under the guise of your feet hurting from hours spent in the low heels, you were wearing. Peter looked skeptical but followed you to your room to grab a pair of slides nonetheless. Only, he questioned you further when you had him walk in first and then you locked the door behind yourself.

“Everything alright, Y/N?” He asked, but still kicked off his own shoes before relaxing on the giant bean bag chair beside the bed.

You turned around slowly, keeping your hands behind your back as you leaned against the door kicking off your heels and staring at him. Gosh, everything about him is perfect, you thought. He tilted his head to the side and you walked to him slowly. When you reached arm's length he sat up slightly and held your hips and smiled up at you.

“What is it, babe?”

You carded one hand through his hair and leaned down to capture his lips in a short kiss. Your words were a whisper against his lips.

“You’re so pretty.” Without a second's hesitation, Peter was laughing at your omission. It took no effort for him to pull you down onto him, across his lap. You let out your own giggle at his antics.

“All these theatrics because you think I’m pretty?” The skepticism was back in his voice and it made you roll your eyes.

“Is it such a crime to think my boyfriend is pretty?” You pouted.

“No, as long as you don’t forget how gorgeous you are.” Peter looked you up and down .”Especially in this dress. Do you know how hard it was to hold back when I saw you wearing this in the bleachers?”

“I was hoping you’d like it,” you grinned.

“Like it? I absolutely love it.” As if to prove this point he left a trail of kisses from shoulder to shoulder before going up your neck and leaving several more in his wake. It wasn’t long before his lips found your own and you were sharing a passionate kiss.

Your arms locked around his neck, fingers slipping through his hair again and tugging slightly even so often. Meanwhile, Peter had one hand locked around your waist, keeping him firmly against him while the other trailed slowly up your back. You could feel him beginning to tug at your zipper when a knock interrupted. The two of you halted. Breathing heavily as whoever it was stood outside silently for a few seconds.

“Yeah?” You called, almost breathless.

“We’re about to eat if you guys wanna, y’know join us,” Natasha spoke and from her tone, you could tell you were in trouble.

You glanced at Peter and the two of you shared a silent laugh.

“We’ll be right there!”

——

After straightening yourselves out and slipping on spare slides and sneakers, respectfully you grabbed Peter’s hand and led him towards the elevator.

“We’re not eating here?” He asked.

“Oh, we are.” You replied and hit the button for the roof as you got it.

“Y/N what are we—“

You pressed a finger to his lips. “Shh, all will be revealed, my love.” Peter only rolled his eyes before licking your finger and you recoiled.

“Gross!” You exclaimed

“Oh really? Well just wait until—“ But his words were cut off once again as the elevator reached its destination.

A shout of “Surprise!” Rang out from everyone on the rooftop which had been decorated with the utmost care as a ‘Congratulations Peter’ banner hovered over the crowd in red and blue. Everyone was there, all the Avengers, MJ and Ned, Strange and even Shuri. The genuine look of surprise and joy on Peter’s face was enough to have you praying that DUM-E was actually recording like you told it to. If not, it was going to be the new jungle gym for an elementary school.

As Peter gave his greets and thanks to his guests you drifted over towards your mom who was holding a sleeping Morgan in her arms.

“You two look happy,” She smiled.

You couldn’t help the grin that took over your features. “We are, we really really are.”

Pepper took a sip of her drink. “I hope you’re using protection, Morgan and I are a little too young to be grandma and niece.” You sputtered at that, grateful that you didn't have a drink in your hand.

“Mom please.”

“I’m just saying. Maybe next time,” she gestured to her own neck, “cover-up.” She winked.

You gasped and coved your neck quick as lightning, “I’m gonna kill him.”

“Here’s your chance.” She winked before walking off under the guise of wanting to put your sister down.

You felt Peter before you saw him, an arm wrapped around your waist and his lips kissed your temple. You wanted to be annoyed but you leaned in on instinct instead.

“I’m gonna kill you, Parker,” you spoke but your threat was weak.

“Whoa, and here I was about to thank you for this wonderful surprise,” he pouted, moving in front of you and placing both hands on your waist. The two of you were near the edge of the roof while the others were towards the center giving you a feeling of pseudo privacy.

“Well you’re welcome but our entrance would have been much better if it wasn’t for this.” You pointed accusingly at your neck and he squinted. You swatted at his chest at his antics.

“Ah, what? It’s really not that bad,” He leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “I could have done a lot more damage.”

You shivered even though at sunset it was still almost eighty degrees, Peter wasn’t playing fair and he knew it.

You whispered back. “Well, maybe next time you do it so I can enjoy I.” To accentuate your point you left a kiss just below his ear, heating your body up just enough to get a reaction out of him.

Peter groaned and his grip on your waist tightened as he placed his forehead against yours and smiled.

“I will. But seriously, thank you for all of this. I couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend,” his voice was still quiet, like it was a secret just between the two of you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Have I told you how much I love hearing you call me that?”

“Well how about I change that?”

You were confused as Peter removed one hand to fish around in his pocket. He took a hand step back from you and you let your arms fall back to your sides. He finally pulled out a blue velvet box and slowly opened the lid. You were met with a beautiful platinum ring with a gemstone — your birthstone — nestled beside Peter’s birthstone, peridot. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes.

“Peter is this…?”

“It’s not a formal engagement but it is most certainly a promise. We’ve been through a lot these last few years and I realized that the reason I got through any of it was you by my side. And when we’re ready I want to make this an engagement ring.” He explained and there was so much emotion in his eyes you wondered if he would cry too. “So what do you say?” “I love it, god, I love you,” You spoke and that was enough for him to push the box back in his pocket and place the ring on your finger. It was a perfect fit and you couldn’t help but stare at it for a few moments before you looked back at the love of your life.

“I love you too, Y/N. More than you know.” And with that, he pulled you into a loving kiss that probably would have gone on for too long if it wasn’t for the cheers and shouts behind you.

You turned around and hugged Peter around the middle, the two of you laughed at your friends and family together and you couldn't help be bask in this feeling of love and peace.

With Peter by your side, you knew anything was possible.

THE END.

-----

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE!!! Whether you stuck around or not I am genuinely grateful and I hope you all enjoyed it!!

Much Love - Duckie

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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago

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ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʙɪɴ

_________________________

ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: (ANON) Would you please do a part 2 of the Wakanda Bucky imagine „down by the lake“ where he has his new arm ? ❤️

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: smut 18+ (rough sex? Idk man lmao)

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: idk why but i don’t really like the way i wrote the smut idk but i was taking too long to write so you be the judge ig *sad face and cries* also i know his place in the movie is like a hut but i just made into a small cabin i didn’t think it was a big deal

________________________

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ

“Stop,” you smirked.

“What?” Bucky chuckled.

“You’re staring and it’s distracting.”

Bucky was in the lab with you as you put the finishing touches on his new arm. He had a chip, as freaky as that sounds, placed on the sensory cortex of the brain so that he can register feeling through the vibranium that you and Shuri co-created.

Bucky sat beside you waiting for the initial placement of his arm and just stared at you admiring the way your face scrunched adorably because you were insanely focused. It's been a few weeks since the day you first spent the night in Bucky’s arms; or arm really.

Since then especially he’s been so ridiculously cuddly and touchy. He’s always pulling you close to kiss you or whisper something not so appropriate in your ear that always made you giggle and roll your eyes; but not without turning hot and flushed.

He always looked at you with nothing but pure adoration and desire and it gave you butterflies everytime. His lingering touches on your arm made your skin burst into chills and when you looked away you could still feel his eyes lingering on your figure and that sent shivers down your spine.

“I can’t help it, you’re beautiful,” he said cheekily.

“Get a room, you two. Gross,” Shuri shouted across the room making you and Bucky laugh.

“I think we’re finished,” you smiled.

“Really?” he asked excitedly.

“Shuri, come!”

In no time, you and Shuri successfully attached Bucky’s brand new arm, black vibranium with gold lining; it was very sleek and cool and Bucky looked at it in awe. He moved his fingers around and closed his hands into a fist. He looked at every detail his arm had and he was just in complete shock.

“I can feel the breeze,” he whispered.

You smiled and grabbed his new metal hand and intertwined your fingers with them. His eyes widened and he squeezed your hand harder. His hand was cold against your but Bucky felt the warmth from just the palm of your hand. He couldn’t think about what the rest of your body would feel like.

He hugged you and Shuri tightly before turning to you with a giant smile on his face.

“Meet in the cabin?” he whispered.

“Of course.”

Hours later and you found yourself heading down the hill to the lake where Bucky’s cabin was. The cabin that you two spent so many nights together already; and you wouldn’t want it any other way. He was in the water making small waves with his metal hand and you smiled. You were so proud of him and yourself for this project that’s the start of changing his life for the better.

“I can feel the water,” he said sensing your presence behind him.

“I don’t think I need to ask if you like your new arm,” you giggled as did he.

“Come in, water’s warm.”

“I don’t have a swimsuit.”

“So?” he smirked.

You bit your lip and looked around knowing there wouldn’t anyone near but you still made sure. You took your shirt and pants off leaving you in your bra and panties and quickly ran to the lake before slipping in to let the warm water come to your waist.

You wadded through the water coming up to Bucky who smiled and wrapped his arms around you pressing light kisses to your shoulder. Your hands came up, his arm passed his shoulders to his hair still long and wavy; those strands you loved to pull on when his head was settled between your thighs.

“Thank you, darling,” he whispered into your ear.

“Of course, you deserve it,” you smiled at him.

“I think I have a promise that I need to uphold,” he nibbled on your ear seductively.

“Oh yeah? Care to refresh my mind?” you smirked.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you so good, baby girl,” he growled before dragging you out of the lake by your hand. You two ran to the cabin giggling, once you stepped inside Bucky’s metal hand wrapped itself around your throat and pulled you close to him.

“I want you on the bed on your knees naked waiting for me. I’ll be right there,” he whispered making you grow wet in anticipation, your stomach fluttering at the tone of his words.

You scurried away to his bedroom getting rid of the wet garments that stuck to your skin uncomfortably. Your body grew cold from being wet but the heat in your belly grew and the cold air around you didn’t matter anymore. You crawled to the center of the large bed and waited patiently for Bucky to walk through the door. You trembled with eagerness, excited and aroused for him to come and completely ruin you.

“Ready, babygirl?”

You nodded shyly.

“Words,” he demanded.

“Yes, sir,” Bucky smirked devilishly at your obedience.

He was already shirtless and stalked towards you, crawling on the bed like an animal. You bit your lip nervously but Bucky pulled it from between your teeth and traced it with his metal thumb. He could feel the ridges of your lip and he could get over it. He knew what they felt like, he touched them a thousand times by now but he seemed hyper aware of everything he touched with his left hand. He hadn’t felt anything in that arm since nineteen forty-five.

He leaned down and kissed you softly, taking you by surprise; you were ready to get railed into the mattress but Bucky was kissing you like a shy teenage boy again.

Needily, you dipped your fingers in the waistband of his wet pants he still had on but Bucky didn’t want you in control. Weeks ago he made a promise and boy was going to keep it. He wrapped his hand around your throat again harder this time and moved you away from him; you stared with wide eyes, your breathing quickened.

“Did I give you permission to touch me?” he whispered.

You shook your head as best you could given his hand around your throat. When you did so he gave that look warning you to use your words.

“No, sir,” you whimpered.

“Good girl,” he moved back looking into your eyes as he took his pants off. You wanted to touch yourself so bad but you didn’t dare without his permission. You felt flustered and hot and the arousal dripping from you wasn’t helping.

“Come here,” Bucky stood at the edge of the bed with his erect cock in hand, slowly pumping it. You excitedly crawled forward replacing his hand with yours. You leaned forward arching your back and wrapped your lips around his cock.

Bucky rubbed your back softly biting his lips as you circled your tongue around his tip. Your hand continued to pump what couldn’t fit in your mouth because lord knows Bucky packs a lot. Tears brimmed your eyes as you suck on his dick.

Bucky tossed your hair and gathered it into his hand into a ponytail. You looked up at him through your lashes and Bucy almost came from the sight alone. Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock and played with his balls before pumping up and down what your mouth couldn’t take.

“Fuck, baby. Sucking my cock like a fucking slut.”

All you could do was simply moan around his cock. You moved your hand faster desperate to make him cum but Bucky pulled you hard by your hair pulling you off his cock.

“I wanna cum inside you babygirl,” he breathed out.

“Turn around,” he said with a stern voice; you giggled and turned around compliantly, subtly wiggling your ass to tease him.

Bucky rubbed his hands on your cheeks softly before bringing a hand up and striking it down to smack your ass hard. You yelped in surprise but the pain turned to pleasure and the tingles made you wetter. You bit your lip and your breathing quickened as you anticipated more spanks.

“You liked that, didn’t you. Such a fucking whore; like getting spanked like a bad girl,” Bucky growled.

“I’m your bad girl,” you smirked.

“Really? Does someone need to be punished?” he smiled playing into your little charade.

“M-hm,” you practically moaned.

Bucky smack your cheek again leaving a bright red mark on your soft skin. He pumped himself a couple times just spreading his pre-cum round his shaft, not that he needed the extra lubrication; you were practically dripping down your thighs, legs damn near shaking with need and desperation.

“Gonna fuck you so good, baby,” he leaned down to whisper.

Your body trembled under him and upon feeling the tip of his cock nudge your entrance you squirmed around desperate for more. He chuckled lowly standing back up before sliding slowly passed your slick folds.

You groaned at the incredible feeling of him completely filling you up. Never in your life have you ever felt so full, so right. His hips started moving faster and your arms gave out as you fell forward. Bucky’s hand rubbed up your back grabbing your hair one again.

He pulled it harshly and brought your body up flush against his. His lips brushed your ear as he spoke smoothly, whispering filthy things in your ear bringing you closer to your release. His metal hand came up to your throat and squeezed ever so slightly. Your eyes rolled back and Bucky chuckled wickedly.

“Fuck, you feel so- ugh! So good,” you wailed.

“You gonna come? I can feel ya clenching around me; feel fucking incredible,” he moaned.

“Yes, please let me come; fuck!”

“Wait for me, baby. Don’t you dare come until I say so.”

Bucky pushed you down once again and his hips snapped into you even harder if that was possible and your entire upper body fell into the sheets. Your moans and whimpers were muffled and you gripped the sheets, your knuckles turning white.

He smacked your ass again rubbing your reddened skin softly. The slight stinging felt so good and you wiggled your hips in hopes he would do it again. When he did so, your body jerked in pleasure moaning loudly. You felt impossibly close to your release and you didn’t know if you’d hold on any longer.

“Bucky!” you whined.

“Please I need to come, fuck! I can’t hold it anymore!”

“Come on; let go, darling. Come all over my cock, make a mess baby,” he grumbled.

His hips stuttered signaling he was quite close to his high as were you. Your moans became high pitched and whiny and with pure adrenaline you lifted your torso up with your arms peeking behind you to find Buck panting hard. His head was thrown back and his eyes were screwed shut. Sweat lined his forehead and chest leaving him with a glowy sheen that made him look ethereal.

You dropped your head down with tightly shut eyes just like Buck’s were and finally you felt that coil in the pit of your stomach snap. You came hard against him rutting your hips back making his cock reach impossibly deep inside you. Your back arched and your toes curled. Bucky grunted loudly above you squeezing the flesh of your cheeks in his hand surely to leave marks and bruises littered for you to marvel tomorrow morning.

Bucky fell forward and littered faint kisses across your back and neck. You panted hard under him and Bucky soon got up to clean you off. Your body felt limp simply laying on the bed and when Bucky returned he chuckled at the state you were in.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you mumbled; the burning sensation between your thighs becoming apparent.

“You ok?” he asked sincerely when you winced trying to move.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “I think I’m ok.”

“Good, can’t have my best girl falling apart on me now. Not when she just gave the greatest gift of a new arm. Think of all the ways I have yet to do with this arm,” he whispered huskily making you giggle. He pulled close to him after crawling back onto the bed with you.

“I like that,” you smiled.

“The arm?”

“No, well yes of course, I made it,” you chuckled.

“I’m talking about you calling your best girl. Am I really?” you asked shyly.

“Of course you are,” he kissed your forehead.

“You make me the happiest man alive,” he whispered.

“Bucky,” you teared up.

“Get some rest, baby. You’re gonna need it,” he winked at you; you pressed kisses to his neck and jaw closing your eyes tiredly before Bucky turned you and cuddled you close from behind.

“I’m nowhere near done with you,” he gently wrapped his metal hand around your neck; a reminder that he was there behind you and he wasn’t gonna leave you.

==============

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years ago

Text

Out Of Time ~ 119

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,300ish

Summary: More of Y/N’s stay in Wakanda.

Y/N was still in a little state of shock, pacing back in forth in her room. Bucky was here. Bucky was alive and had been getting help. She hadn’t spoke to him since Siberia and that was…. Y/N froze in her place when she realized that it had been nine months. Nine months… She should have had her baby by now. She would have had her baby… her precious baby that she didn’t even know the gender of. She collapsed to the floor on her knees. Tears streamed down her face as she wrapped her arms around herself and cried. She stayed like that into the morning hours.

Bucky wasn’t acting much different. He had paced across his small house so many times, he swore he could feel a mark in the floor. He was nervous. He had imagined so many times how his first meeting with Y/N since Siberia would go, and that definitely wasn’t it. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even though he could tell the last nine months had not been easy on her. Bucky felt immediate guilt. Blaming himself for what had happened in Siberia.

In the morning, Bucky went to the palace, wanting to talk to T’Challa. He found the King walking down a hallway.

“Your Majesty,” Bucky called, jogging to catch up.

“Oh, Sargent Barnes,” T’Challa smiled, stopping and turning slightly. “How are—“

“Where you ever going to tell me that Y/N’s staying here?”

“T’Challa sighed. “How did you find out?”

“Last night. I was taking a walk in the fields and so was she.”

“Did she see you?”

“Yes.”

“Did she leave?”

“She told me she wouldn’t. But—“

“But you’re not so sure. Follow me.” T’Challa started heading towards Y/N’s room with Bucky in tow.

“T’Challa, why is she here?”

“Like you and the Captain, she’s a fugitive. I promised Steve that I would look for her, look out for her. I found her staying in South Africa, longer than she usually was in one place.”

“I thought she was with Stark. Hasn’t she been with him this whole time?”

T’Challa sighed. “She was missing for six months before we started noticing her movements. From what I know, Stark has been searching for her since then as well.”

“Six months? Of nothing?”

“Yes.”

“Has she…”

“She hasn’t opened up to me. But Y/N has just gotten here. She needs time.”

“How long is she staying?”

“As long as she likes. Here we are.” The men stopped in front of a large door. T’Challa knocked. “Y/N?” He called. No answer. He tried again. “Y/N? Can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky physical deflated. “She’s probably gone.”

“You don’t know that… Y/N, I’m coming in.” T’Challa opened the door, looking around the room with Bucky following.

“Y/N!” Bucky exclaimed, noticing her unconscious on the floor. He and T’Challa were quickly at her side. “Y/N.” He gently shook her. Just by her face, they could tell she had been crying, recently. “Come on, doll. Wake up.”

“Hmmm?” Y/N hummed, coming back to consciousness. She blinked her eyes rapidly a few times. “Bucky? T’Challa? What’s going on?”

“You tell us,” T’Challa said. “We walked in to find you on the floor, unconscious.”

“Oh… I must have fallen asleep.”

“Doing what, doll?” Bucky questioned.

“I… uh… thanks for the concern. Both of you.” She pushed herself up to stand. “But I think I’m going to go get ready for the day.”

“Y/N…” Bucky reached out to stop her but she pulled away.

“I’ll see you guys around.”

She quickly disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Bucky sighed.

“Do not get discouraged, Barnes,” T’Challa said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Like you, she just needs time.”

~~~

When Y/N exited the bathroom, she was relieved to see that both T’Challa and Bucky were gone. She did notice that there was some food and a small note on the small table near the door. She walked over, slowly picking up the note.

Y/N - I’m sorry that you found out about me being here the way you did. I understand if you don’t want to be near me. Just know that I will wait however long it takes for you to be ready to talk to me. Cause I understand. I’m going through things too and need time. I’ll be here though, whenever you need. - Bucky

Y/N sighed as she set the note back down. He was clearly trying to get better, to heal from what had happened. Why was it so hard for her to do so? She decided that she needed to go clear her head again, so she headed outside. Y/N wandered around the kingdom, through the streets and market, until eventually, she found herself back at the spot she had run into Bucky the night before. Looking around, she tried to see if there was anyway she could tell where he had come from, or where he had been going.

Y/N turned around, observing her surroundings. She stopped when she noticed a small clay house, not too far away. It was just off the bank of the river with a large tree in front of it. As Y/N slowly moved closer, she noticed a small fenced off area with a few goats. She froze when a man came out of the house, holding some hay, and threw it to the goats. She must’ve been too obvious because Bucky turned, meeting her gaze.

Slowly, Bucky walked over. He stopped far enough away for her to still hear him but wasn’t too close, just incase. Her eyes didn’t stray from his figure.

“How are you?” He asked. He’d been worried since this morning.

“I’m… fine,” she answered. “I’m good.”

“That wasn’t very convincing.”

“Yeah… I definitely think I’ve been better.”

Bucky nodded. “I know the feeling. Do you, uh… do you want to come inside?” He motioned to the house.

“I, um…” She was nervously playing with her fingers as she took a small step back. “I… don’t know…”

“That’s okay. Do you want to stay out here?”

“I don’t know…”

“Okay. What do you want to do?”

“I think… I… I want to apologize…”

He quickly was confused. “Apologize? What do you have to apologize for?”

“For the way Tony acted. He shouldn’t have done what he did.”

“You shouldn’t be apologizing for Tony. Plus… I deserved it. I killed his parents. You should be mad at me too. You were friends with Howard.”

“I’m not mad about that, cause I know that was HYDRA’s doing… I was only ever mad that Steve knew and kept it a secret from us… from me…”

“How— how is Stark?”

“I… I don’t know…. I haven’t seen him since Siberia.”

“Why? I thought you two were a… a couple.”

“Because… he…” Emotion took over her eyes and throat. “He… I…”

“It’s okay.” He stepped forward. “You don’t have to talk about it… you don’t owe me that.”

“I feel like I need to talk about it though… I haven’t really said a whole lot about it since then…”

“Only if you’re ready.”

“I… I don’t know… All I know is that I miss talking to you… I… we used to tell each other everything…”

Bucky nodded. “We did. Why don’t you wait here and I’ll go run and get a blanket for us to sit on. Is that alright?” Y/N nodded in response, not able to met his eyes or open her mouth. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

He rushed away, back to his house. He quickly grabbed a few blankets and snacks, just in case. When Bucky left his house, he paused as he watched Y/N nervously looking around. He wasn’t used to this side of her. Yes, he had since it before, growing up, but she had always quickly hidden it behind her strength. Bucky laid a blanket down underneath the tree. As he set everything else down, Y/N walked over.

“I thought it would be nice to sit under the tree,” Bucky said as she neared.

Y/N simply nodded. Bucky motioned for her to sit down and she did. She leaned up against the tree, nervously playing with the edge of the blanket with her left hand. Bucky watched, noticing the scaring on her hand.

“Your hand…” he whispered. Y/N looked at him as he studied her hand. “How… what happened?”

“When I fell from the plane,” she answered quietly. “I was holding onto the Tesseract. A power source. It burned my skin.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She shook her head slightly. “It’s not as bad as not having a left hand.”

“True.” He let out a small chuckle. He looked over where his arm was suppose to be. “Shuri’s made me two new arms. I just… I don’t want it yet. Even though it’s not the arm HYDRA gave me, it reminds me of all the things I’ve done.”

“It wasn’t you. HYDRA did those things.”

“That’s what Steve said.”

“Have you…. Do you know where he is?”

“No. We’ve had some small phone conversations here and there, so that I know he’s alive. But we haven’t seen each other since I went back under.”

“I haven’t seen him since Siberia…. Is he… is the team with him?”

“Sam, Natasha, and Wanda are. Clint and Scott took a deal for their families.”

“Good for them.” She nodded, looking off in the distance.

The two sat in silence, simply letting themselves try and enjoy each others company. Bucky watched Y/N as she took in the area around her. He could tell she was trying not to look at him, for whatever reason. But he was okay with that as long as she wasn’t running.

This went on for weeks. Each day, Y/N would find her way to Bucky’s small house, never entering, and they would sit under the tree. Sometimes they would talk, about the old times mostly and the new inventions Bucky was still getting used to. But other times, they sat in silence. And that was perfectly okay.

~~~

Y/N had been in Wakanda for a little over 5 weeks. She had spent the day at Bucky’s once again, enjoying her time there. She was tired, so falling asleep wasn’t hard for her. It would be staying asleep that would be hard.

She had seen the scene before her, before. People screaming, dust or ash floating around. A Stone covered gauntlet snapping its fingers. Y/N snapped up in bed, panting and sweating. Her mind replaying the scene over and over. She trembled as she threw her legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand. Taking a few unsteady steps, she eventually fell to the ground.

Moving her hands to push herself up, she realized that the ground was dirt. Y/N’s head snapped up to look around. She quickly noticed that she was in front of Bucky’s house. A portal must’ve accidentally opened as she fell. Y/N picked herself up off the ground, debating on whether or not to go back to the palace. Honestly, she really didn’t want to be left alone. But she didn’t want to put Bucky in an awkward position.

Taking a deep breath, Y/N slowly made her way to Bucky’s doorway. There was no real door, just a curtain, so there was no place for her to knock. As quietly as she could, she slipped through the curtain. It surprised her to see a modern kitchen designed to look like it fit in with the clay house. There was a small table near it. Looking the other way, she noticed two other doorways. Taking a brave step, she went over to on of them, peeking through the curtain. It was Bucky’s room. He was seemingly asleep on his bed. Not wanting to wake him, she backed up. As she did, Y/N accidentally pulled on the curtain, causing the rings holding it to the pole to make a sound.

“Who’s there?” Bucky’s voice called out. Y/N froze. “I know someone’s out there.”

Y/N waited a few long seconds before swallowing and answering, “It’s me…” She opened up the curtain to see Bucky sitting up on his bed. “I’m sorry to wake you… I’m just going to leave.”

“No!” He quickly stood up. “Don’t. Is everything okay?”

“I… I’m fine. It’s silly.” She turned to walk away but Bucky quickly halted her with a hand to her arm.

“I’m sure it’s not silly if it brought you here.”

“I… I had a nightmare. But I don’t want to intrude, so I’ll just—“

“You��re staying.” Bucky grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not really. I want to try to go back to sleep.”

“Okay. You can take the bed.”

“I don’t want to push you out of your bed.”

“It’s fine. I can take the flo—“

“Sleep with me.” It was quiet for a couple awkward seconds. “Not like that! Just… I don’t want to push you from your bed. I’ll stay on my side and you stay on yours.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

With a nod, Bucky led Y/N back into his bedroom. He pulled back the blankets and they both slipped into the bed. They both awkwardly laid there, staying on their sides while staring at the ceiling. Eventually though, the warmth radiating off of Bucky’s body, lulled Y/N to sleep, with Bucky slowly following.

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #t'challa x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #avengers imagine #bucky barnes imagine #Bucky Barnes #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader

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byesexualsatan · 4 years ago

Text

OTPS/SHIP LIST

i feel like you get to know people better when you know what they ship so... here’s a list of my past & current ships ?? im bored, can u tell?

also if u know me, ignore this ty

MILEVEN aka LITERAL KIDS PLS😭

mike wheeler and eleven/jane hopper from stranger things

otp in late 2017

personal hcs: they’re queer/bi.

eleven def uses they/them pronouns

tbh i prefer byler and elmax now

background ships i like: joyce/hopper, jonathan/nancy... steve being bi and robin being the iconic lesbian that she is

DAMONA aka simonte

... simona and dante from the argentinian series simona

LMAO this one is from when i thought i was straight

otp in 2018

uhh bi dante and pan simona bc why not

literally forgot they existed until now

please don’t bully me

i truly thought i was straight

background ships: marisiena, junior/ailín

i was one of THE FOUNDERS of this ship istg... i was THERE when we were deciding the ship name (i voted for simonte but damona won smh)

SIMBAR aka bi awakening

simón and ambar from the disney tv show soy luna

yeah... sorry

otp in mid 2018

they’re gay!!!

bi she/they punk ambar yesyesyes

totally forgot about them but they’re sexc af

so glad they were endgame

background ships: idk but luna is pan

STEVEBUCKY aka stucky aka the end of the line

so... steve rogers (captain america) and bucky barnes (the winter soldier)

otp in late 2018/early 2019?

personal hcs: trans steve, bi bucky

favourite fanfic trope: found family, high school smau

fuck endgame, all my homies hate endgame

background ships i like: thorbruce, scotthope, nat/sharon

im with u til the end of the line, pal :c

PERALTIAGO aka jamy

jake peralta and amy santiago from brooklyn nine nine

started shipping them in 2018/2019 (i have no idea)

personal hcs: bi jake

favourite fanfic trope: casefics, pretend marriage

(THEY’RE FUCKING MARRIED WITH CHILD NOW,,, BUT IN THOSE FICS IT WASN’T REAL YET)

background ships i like: gina and rosa, holt and kevin

PETERMJ aka spideychelle

peter parker (spider-man) and michelle mj jones !!1! from the mcu

otp in 2019

personal hcs: they’re both bi, mj is demisexual too

he/they & she/they solidarity

... trans/demiboy peter and demigirl mj🥺

fav fanfic trope: school trip to stark tower, meeting the parents/avengers, smau

obviously let’s ignore infinity war and endgame

background ships i like: ironstrange, pepperony, shuri/any woman

THORBRUCE aka gammahammer aka gays in space

thor odinson and bruce banner (hulk) from the mcu

started shipping them in 2019

personal hcs: thor also likes women

they both use they/them and neopronouns too

fav fanfic trope: university au, smau, no civil war, no infinity war

this one is from my stan twitter era

background ships: stucky, tony/strange, nat/sharon, scotthope

CARMUEL aka spanish sexiest couple

carla rosón and samuel garcía from élite

otp in late 2019

...they’re bi. bc yes. and he/they samuel.

she/vers carla sounds very sexc to me

i ‘shipped’ them in s1 simply bc they were both very hot and when it became canon in s2 i SCREAMED

deserved so much better.

INEFFABLE HUSBANDS aka i almost forgot about this one, sorry

crowley and aziraphale from good omens

uhh started shipping them in 2019/2020 ?

bi genderfluid crowley, non-binary aziraphale

idk they’re being anyways

fav trope: raising children!! confusing ppl bc crowley is sometimes a snake!!

background ships: uhh anathema & newton ig?

WOLFSTAR aka the one true way (and... puppies, too??)

sirius black and remus lupin from the harry potter saga

otp since 2020 (thank u, @aretheygayvideos)

personal hcs: he/they gay sirius, he/they bi remus

also love nonbinary remus and genderqueer sirius

fav fanfic trope: getting together !!!! FLUFF!!!!

background ships i like: jegulus, regulus/barty jr, dorlene, jily

VILLANEVE aka murdering wlw

villanelle and eve polastri from killing eve

s.s.t in 2020

she/they bisexual villanelle and pansexual eve

fav fanfic trope: flower/coffee shop :)

ty tumblr for spaming my dashboard when s3 came out bc that forced me to watch it to understand all the posts

sandra oh is the love of my life

ANDERPERRY aka this one is for the depressed dark academia folk

neil perry and todd anderson from dead poets society

started shipping them in 2020

personal hcs: nonbinary neil, trans todd, both gay/androsexual

demiboy/nonbinary todd has a special place in my heart

fav fanfic trope: ALIVE!NEIL, roommates

background ships i like: charlie/knox, meeks/pitts

ZUKKA aka my favourite blue/red gays

sokka and zuko from avatar the last airbender < 3

started shipping them in 2020

personal hcs: gay zuko, genderfluid and bisexual sokka

sokka has adhd !! zuko is autistic !

favourite fanfic trope: fake dating

background ships i like: suki/yue*, ty lee/azula/mai, kataang

* please go check out s4pphos’ ig edit of them

CASMUND aka royal pirate gays !!

caspian x and edmund pevensie from the chronicles of narnia

started shipping them in dec. 2020

personal hcs: bi caspian, mlm edmund

love bisexual and nonbinary edmund too bc 👉projecting👈

fav fanfic trope: just. the plot of the movies but gay.

background ships: the dawn treader (ha-ha, get it? bc ship? im so funny)

tbh i don’t REALLY ship them that hard i just hate caspian/susan lmao

(susan is a lesbian)

BELLARKE aka m/f sexual tension™

bellamy blake and clarke griffin from the 100

started shipping them in 2021

personal hcs: she/they/xe bi clarke, he/ze omni bellamy

favourite fanfic trope: single parent bellamy, modern au (college, roommates)

i saw 2 seasons with my mom and then moved so,,, fuck i gotta finish it

EXTRAS

the “i don’t really ship them but if they’re together it’s better”

ty lee and mai

john watson and sherlock holmes

suki and yue

regulus black and james potter

azula and katara

regulus black and barty crouch jr

bugs bunny and daffy duck

emma and mr knightley

carol danvers and maria rambeau

valkyrie and carol danvers

natasha romanoff and sharon carter

sam wilson and bucky barnes !!! (post endgame)

charlie “nuwanda” dalton and knox overstreet

dorcas meadowes and marlene mckinnon

azula, ty lee and mai

klaus hargreeves and dave

paul coates and alec hardy

cassie and maddy

jules and rue

rue and lexi

fleabag and the hot priest

. . . more to add, probably

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worstloki · 5 years ago

Text

Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing! Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless. Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

---

Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

---

Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

---

Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter: *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

---

T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa: T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

---

Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

---

Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have - and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead.

---

Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis?

---

Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

---

Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

---

Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

---

Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets. Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

#LokiAdoptsAU #where all the kids can enjoy loki tormenting the world because its funny and no one actually ends up seriously injured ever #loki is about mischief and chaos not death and destruction #the avengers don't know why the kids are attached #tony knows that loki isn't evil but so far Shuri and Peter and MJ and Ned and Cassie are the only ones who know about the torture #because everyone else is an *d*ot #watch as loki cajoles the avengers to his side 1-by-1 with the promise of good coffee decent prankster material and custom leather outfits #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS

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justreadingfics · 5 years ago

Text

His Girl (Revamped Version)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re perfect. Anyone who could read his thoughts would say he’s cheesy, but he genuinely can’t find a single flaw in you. Well, maybe the only problem is the man by your side.

Warnings: Angst, Cheating, Love Triangle, Pining, Smut, Revamped version of first fic written by the author, 18+.

Word Count: 4k.

A/N: Hi!! I’m sorry to say but this isn’t something entirely new. I’ve been thinking about revamping the first fic I’ve ever wrote for a while now. I love the story, but every time I read the original, it made me cringe for several reasons. I like this version better, but I haven’t sent this to a beta and you all know English isn’t my first nor my everyday language, so you may still find a significant number of cringy stuff, lol. If you read it and like it, don’t hold back on the feedback 😊 I’m tagging my permanent list.

Masterlist link on description.

He pays no mind to the loud beating of the music thundering into his ears, nor to the sea of dancing bodies and cheerful laughs around him as he makes a beeline for the bar. Another one of Tony’s big shindigs, one he can barely remember the reason for, if there ever has been one to start with…

He has lost count of how many he had to attend since he had joined the team. He hates it, of course he does. Everybody knows it… Bucky Barnes hates parties. He hates so many eyes which cross path with his, some condescending, some pitiful, others gleaming with fear… or hatred. He hates them all, but he knows he still deserves them all.

It has been a slow process after he came back from Wakanda, where Shuri has finally found a treatment for the trigger words and other horrors Hydra had seen fit to grace his mind with. He still struggles… with social events, with talking to people, with letting them in, showing himself… What could they see if they really look?

He hates parties, yeah… but he goes to all of them. For one and only reason. He takes a seat by the bar and, while he waits for the whisky he just ordered, his gaze roams and search through the crowd, looking for the reason he’s there after all…

You.

It’s been like this from the moment he laid his eyes on you. His gaze always searching, seeking you, longing that the sight of you can ease the ache in his chest that comes with the absence of your touch. To be honest, Bucky can’t understand why you have this effect on him, you two have barely exchanged more than two words and, even if his gaze is always sneakily on you, he shies away whenever you draw near. He rather keep his distance… he needs to.

But he’s completely and utterly infatuated by you. Not like he remembers much of his life, but he’s damn certain he has ever felt this way about anyone. Ever. He can’t stop thinking about how you held his left hand with no sign of hesitance when you two were introduced. He was so entranced by you that he’s sure he has held on to your touch longer than socially acceptable, and yet you didn’t make a move to let go before he did. He’s obsessed by the way your hips swing from side to side when you walk, by how you always looks straight into the eyes of whomever you’re talking to, the way your nose crinkles when you laugh and a small and adorable snort comes out of you… yeah, your laugh! The most amazing sound Bucky has ever heard. And there’s always a smile on your lips, for everyone.

Except for him.

Why, after that first time you two met, wouldn't you speak to him again? Fear… That’s the only possible explanation in Bucky’s mind. Of course you would be frightened by him…The Winter Soldier, the Fist of Hydra, the Assassin… He may be called the White Wolf now, but it doesn’t erase what came before…

With the whiskey now in his hands, his lips barely touch the glass when he finally spots you.

There you are, his reason, across the room, laughing while Sam says something. At that moment and every other moment, Bucky wishes he could be the lucky bastard who’s able to make you laugh like that. He takes a minute to take in the sight of the woman who he keeps up all night thinking about. You have your hair styled on that way you always have at parties. Bucky knows you choose that style because it’s easier and then you can do your hair yourself, oblivious to the fact that it drives him crazy with want to dive his fingers through your locks and tilt your head so he can ravish your neck with kisses and intake the sweet scent of you…

He gulps as his gaze falls down your body and he notices what you’re wearing that night. A long black dress. The side slit goes high enough to make Bucky’s heart speed up as he takes in the exposed skin of your thigh. The deep V neckline isn’t doing any good to his mental state either…

God, you’re perfect. Anyone who could read his thoughts would say he’s cheesy, but he genuinely can’t find a single flaw in you.

Well, maybe the only problem is the man by your side. Holding your hand the way Bucky only can in his dreams. The lump is thick on his throat at the reality.

Steve Rogers. Captain America.

His Stevie. Bucky’s best friend and brother, the punk who started a fucking war with the rest of the World to defend him. The one who introduced you to Bucky.

You…

His girl.

And that’s the reason why, besides the fact he damn sure scares the shit out of you, Bucky would never get to touch you, feel your skin on his. Breathe you in… Taste you…. The reason why he avoids any kind of close contact and is happy to worship your image from a distance. He can’t , by any means, give in to his feelings or get closer to you. He can’t take that chance.

He’s been fighting… against himself. He’s been dating around, trying hard to get you out of his head out of his very soul if he’s going to be honest. But all he accomplished is to compare every single woman he’s seen with you, and wonder how it would feel if you were the one he was holding, kissing, making love to.

“Jesus, you’re so screwed.”

Drowned in his thoughts Bucky has missed the redhead approaching, martini in her hand, sitting on a stool next to him with a smirk on her lips.

“What are you talking about, Romanoff?” He tries to play the ignorance card, knowing damn well that it would be pointless. The stunning spy is able to read his mind like no other, Steve included. Maybe it’s their shared past, the one they never speak of, but lingers in the air. The ex-assassins simply understand each other.

“Please Barnes, you’re wounding me.” Natasha rolls her eyes and brings the drink to her lips.

Bucky bites on his lips before letting out a humorless chuckle, “That obvious, huh?” He says, defeat in his voice and a hint of worry that his secret may not be as hidden as he thought.

“To me, yes”. She shrugs before spending a moment observing him, while he goes back to watching you across the room, hand in hand with his best friend. With a sigh, Natasha kindly places her empty hand on the soldier’s shoulder. “Just be careful, Bucky. Neither of you have been much discreet lately. Everyone else is a bit dumb, but I don’t know…”

Bucky snaps his head back to her, as his eyebrows knit close together, spotting the rare sympathetic smile on her tightened lips.

“What do you mean? In what way she’s not being discreet?”

The empathy on Natasha’s face falls and is swiftly turned into a familiar glare. Letting out a huff, she stands up and turns her back to him, leaving Bucky behind, mumbling words that his enhanced hearing catches as “Stupid Super Soldiers. No Serum in the brains, for sure”.

He’s left confused as he watches Natasha joining the rest of the gang who is now sitting by a round table close to the dance floor. As usual, she takes the chair next to Clint and orders for another drink. Bucky moves his eyes to Steve, who has his back to him, sitting across the Widow, leaning forward to say something to her. She responds by pointing to the bar where Bucky stands.

Steve turns his head to his best friend and whey their gazes meet, the blonde grins and waves, calling Bucky towards the gathered group.

Finding no way to decline the offer, Bucky sighs before he nods and heads to the table that is also accommodating Sam, Wanda and Maria Hill. Getting close, his heart rushes to his throat when notices that the only empty seat is the one next to you, who have your back turned to him.

“Hey Buck, come here and take a seat, the food is amazing,” Steve says with a mouthful, pointing with the fork to the mountain of food in his plate.

The fact that his fellow Super Soldier is the only one eating – the exorbitant amount of food- makes him think of the skinny kid from Brooklyn who could barely finish a whole glass of milk. The memory brings a warm smile to Bucky’s face, which fades as soon as he spots your stiffened shoulders as you glance nervously at the empty seat beside you, still avoiding to look at him.

“Ahm, I don’t know pal, I’m not really that hungry” Bucky replies, brushing the back of his neck. The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable by imposing his closeness.

“Oh, come on Tin Can, grace us with your broodiness… It’s not like you have somewhere else to go. Or do you already have a broad waiting?” Sam asks, emphasizing the outdated slang in an attempt to tease his centenary friend.

Missing how you take a long sip from your own whiskey, Bucky pretends to be amused by the conversation and makes a face to Sam. He can’t find it in him to prolong the subject or to say no the puppy eyes Steve always wear to break him and never fails, so he pulls out a chair and takes his seat. Right beside you.

Steve goes back to his food and the group goes back to chatting. The words are far from the focus of his attention as it’s so damn easy for him to feel the heat irradiating from your body, so close to him all he has to do is... Bucky’s glad for Sam and his never stopping mouth as no one seems to notice how his whole body flinches when his right thigh ever so lightly brushes against yours under the table. He quickly pulls his leg away, but not before goosebumps spring unbidden across his skin at the brief yet burning touch.

He’s expecting you to move the chair closer to Steve, to prevent any kind of contact with him to happen, but… but instead, she leans back on his touch, seeking the overwhelming sensation again, brushing her leg against his and leaving it there.

All the sound around him fades away, replaced simply by the thundering sound of his beating heart.

Every single inch of him is completely stiffened when he rests his hand on his leg and by the corner of his eyes he sees you furtively doing the same thing. Feeling a rush of boldness and a lack of better judgment, he moves it closer to yours until your pinkies link between your laps. He feels dizzy when you softly caress his finger with yours and all of a sudden, like it’s the most natural thing to do, he has all of his fingers tightly interlocked with yours.

His holding hands with you under the table cloth and it’s so damn hard to breathe now. Bucky’s mind runs in full speed, matching his heart, but yet, for that moment, time seems to freeze and everything’s slow motion as a forbidden, yet beautiful promise takes over his senses.

No… It wasn’t fear the reason why she kept his distance from him… She’s touching him, he has her soft hands on his. And it feels so right…

“Are you ok, Barnes? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

Bucky’s stupor is swiftly interrupted by a familiar voice in the far distance. It’s Natasha, of fucking course.

The unwanted attention makes you quickly remove your hand and back away your leg.

Bucky feels empty.

“Ahm, Yeah I..I guess I need another drink, I’ll be right back” Bucky’s chair screeches against the floor as he stands up and leaves the table, choosing to ignore Natasha’s suspicious look. To his relief the rest of their friends are apparently unfazed and oblivious to anything.

In need of a place to calm his restless state, he heads to the rooftop. Getting out of the elevator, he takes in the fresh air, relishing into the breeze of the night and, watching the city lights, the puzzled events of the last couple of minutes keep running over in his mind. You touched him… he can still feel the burning where your skin met and he knows that you were as much affected by it as him… What the hell’s happening?

The quietness of the rooftop is broken by the elevator ding behind him. His heart jumps when he turns his head and spots the person coming out of it. He can’t. He can’t hold back a second longer anymore, and without even thinking, he takes two quick steps, closing the distance between you and him to press his lips against yours. As he pulls you to him, you immediately kiss him back, one hand tangling in his lose locks, while the other snakes up his chest.

Without breaking the sloppy and needy kiss, Bucky pins you against the nearest wall. He’s so drunk in your taste, he doesn’t want to let you go…Not again. Not now. He feels the whiskey you’ve been drinking mixed with your Chapstick and something sweet, that he knows it’s all you and he thought he would never get to taste.

Finally…

Both of your arms circle his neck while one hand still holds the back of his hair in a grip. You gasp for air and Bucky takes the chance to ravish your collarbone with a trail of hot kisses, reaching your pulse point to lightly bite on it. You let out a moan and while you tighten the hold on his locks, Bucky realizes he has never listened to anything as beautiful.

“I need you… Please.” You’re breathless when you whisper the words to his ear, reaching down between your bodies to palm the bulge straining his pants.

If Bucky had a tiny bit of control until then, it is completely lost now with the husky plea coming from your lips. He captures your mouth once again, and moving quickly, he travels his hand up your exposed leg through the dress slit, burying his fingers under the band of your underwear to find the velvet skin already damp. He lightly brushes the little nub there and the sensation pulls a primal groan from him and a deep sigh from you through the kiss.

Tangling his tongue into yours, he pulls the black lace material down and when it falls to your knees, you wiggle your legs to let it drop to the floor before you step out of it. Without breaking his lips from yours, Bucky quickly goes to his belt, as you pull the skirt of your dress by the side slid up to your waist. When his erection springs free, Bucky holds your leg up to open you for him and just can’t waste anymore time as he guides his impossibly hard cock to your wet entrance.

It’s almost too much… the sensation of being inside you, so damn close, the velvet heat tightening around him…a kind of intimacy he only dreamed about. You cling to him as he slowly pushes himself further and the air leaves him a sharp exhale when he bottoms out. Only then, your lips detach from his as your breaths come out short.

Keeping your leg locked around his waist, he uses his metal hand to support himself on the wall, while you maintain a firm grip on his shoulders. You two exchange gazes for what feels like the first time and for a moment you just stay like that, staring to each other, studying every little inch of each other’s faces… Getting acquainted… Body and soul, Bucky suspects, as something entirely new and powerful grows inside him. A sense of calm, of peace, of belonging…

When he starts to move, he goes slow at first, allowing you two to adjust to the overwhelming sensation. You fell so damn good around him, better than any day and night dream he ever had, he realizes, as his flesh hand leave your leg, secured around his waist, to pull down the shoulder straps of your dress. One, then the other, dropping down your arms and exposing your breasts to him.

Beautiful, so damn beautiful, it makes him breathless…

He watches as your eyes close and your lips part a little, whimpering in sheer ecstasy, when he grabs one of your breasts into his hand, never stopping the slow and deep move of his hips. He gently massages the soft flesh, and can’t take his eyes off your face as the slight shift of expressions in synch with his actions shows how much pleasure he’s giving to you.

“Oh, Bucky…”

Hearing the whisper of his name in your mouth, especially in such a sinful way, makes his heart melt and his cock twitch inside of you. His thrusts grow faster and the two of you become a mess of heavy breaths and moans. Bodies glued together, your skin is hot against his and your breathe tingles over his neck. It’s perfect. And it feels so right, so damn right, when your pussy clenches around him…

He needs to feel it again and the frenzy you both share boosts when Bucky’s flesh fingers meet your clit. He circles the nub in fast, harsh circles as you tighten your leg around him for support. A slight change in the angle and the extra stimulation makes you let out a scream of pure ecstasy. He feels it coming as your cunt grips his cock in the most delicious way.

Your whole body shakes against him as you let out a wanton moan, signaling your climax. As you fall apart, Bucky’s fingers leave your heat to hold you tightly by your waist. He knows he isn't going to last much longer, he just can’t, even if he wants to have you like this forever, breathless in the pleasure he’s provided you with while he can feel your heart thunders against your chest and your tongue brushing over the skin of his neck.

“I need to taste you,” you breathe and it startles him for a second when you push at his chest, forcing him to pull out of your pulsing heat.

His mind goes blank when you sink to your knees and grip the base of his cock, coated in your arousal, and your mouth wraps around the throbbing tip. He watches down in awe, supporting himself with both arms on the wall. Your soft lips around his cock makes him lose his fucking senses and a few bobs of your head is already too much for him to handle.

“I.. I’m … gonna…. ”, Bucky tries to warn you, only making you grab his ass and clutch his hips still, not letting him pull away from you.

He groans loudly and can’t hold back anymore before you take everything he has to offer, not missing a single drop of the most powerful orgasm he ever had.

Struggling to breathe and gather his thoughts again, Bucky offers his hand to help you get on your feet and pulls you in a tight embrace as his forehead leans against yours, sharing the blissful state.

He loves you.

If he didn’t know that before, it’s pretty damn clear now. He loves you and this love will ruin him. Of that he’s sure, while he holds your half naked body to his.

When breathing isnt’t so hard anymore, you’re the first one to speak.

“I love Steve… I really do.”

Bucky’s eyes close and he sighs at the mention of his friend’s name.

“Yeah, I know, I love that punk too,” he responds matter-of-factly in a sad smile.

“You must think I´m a-” A sob breaks through your lips before you have the chance to continue.

“Shhh,” He whispers as he cups your face and uses his thumb to caress your cheek and wipe the tears falling down. “Never,” he assures you, shaking his head, “I would never think anything like that of you.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” you add, pleading for him to believe, and Bucky hates to hear the sorrow in your beautiful voice.

“I know sweetheart, I know…” He tries to sooth you, even if his own heart is breaking at how ashamed you seem to be of what just happened, prompting his own guilt to tighten his throat.

“I don't want to hurt him,” You add. “But you…” The whisper is low as you lean your face against the touch of his hand, shutting your eyes. “God, I can’t take you of my mind ever since I first saw you, not matter how hard I tried. I’ve been going crazy,” You breathe hard as your eyes open and you look up at him, gripping hard the back of his suit with your hands.

Bucky’s heart beats harshly against his ribcage at your confession. “I know the feeling,” he says in the steadiest voice he can manage, keeping the brush of his thumb on your cheeks. “All I think about is you, all the time.” He almost can’t believe he’s actually telling you this, “I-I´m in-”

You don’t let him finish when you abruptly part from him, ceasing any kind of touch. The pained expression in your face is nothing but a plea, one that begs him: “please don’t say it”.

He doesn’t. He sulks in a breath and doesn’t say he’s completely and desperately in love with you and it feels so right even if he knows how damn wrong it is.

You bite on your lips and a heavy silence falls upon you as you fix your dress and hair, allowing him to put himself together, too. Your head drops, before you lean down and take your underwear from the floor.

“This can’t … won’t happen again,” You manage to make your words convincing, standing up in front of him as your jaw clenches, holding the small piece of black lace tightly in your hand.

Bucky shuts his eyes and nods. He knew this was coming, but the fact does nothing to ease the pain of hearing those words.

When he feels your grip on his chin, his eye pop open. You two stare at each other for a long moment, sharing the words, the ones forbidden to be said out loud, before you lock your lips together again.

As he pulls you to him, he focuses on every move, every touch, every sensation. Your tongue brushing against his, how he can feel himself and you through the sweet taste of your mouth, your skin, the shallow breaths and small whimpers, your hand into his hair… He clings to all of it. Memorizing how you feel, holding the sensations into his mind… his heart.

Bucky feels your hand slipping inside a pocket on his pants before you break the kiss and, without looking at him again, you run past him towards the elevator.

He sighs, bringing his fingers to his lips, as if this way he would make the phantom of your touch last longer… His gaze turns to the city lights when he hears the elevator going down and he places his hands inside his pockets.

His lips turn up in a longing smile, already missing the touch of yours, while his fingers play absent-mindedly with the piece of lace he finds inside his pocket.

He knows it would all come eventually, the sorrow, the guilt, the heartache. The pain. But at that moment, all he feels is you…

You….

His girl.

~~~~~~

The end.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x steve rogers x reader #angs #bucky barnes series #cheating #angst #bucky angst

866 notes · View notes

starbuckie · 5 years ago

Text

𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐫

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 2,393(with song lyrics), 2,300(without song lyrics)

warnings: LaNgUaGe, a little baby bit of angst, fluff, and soft!bucky

summary: y/n tried to move in after the events of infinity war.

a/n: i bring you my first bucky oneshot! dear evan hansen is one of my favorite musicals in the entire world, and “if i could tell her” is the sweetest song. i thought it would fit well with this plot i came up with and i really enjoyed writing this, so if y’all wanna read more musical inspired fics just let me know (even though i’ll probably still do it anyway). anywaaaaays, enjoy as always, and i hope you guys have a great day <3

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

He thought you were awesome

He thought I was awesome? My brother?

Definitely!

You sat in the compound with Nat in silence. Grieving over Chinese food together had become a norm over the past five years. Ever since the snap, losing your teammates and half of the universe had taken a toll on your friendship. You two worked in tandem together still, but there was always that tension in the air, the elephant in the room. Neither of you addressed the “blip” unless you were on a call with the remaining heroes. Five years later, and you two still have trouble speaking about it.

Quiet footsteps approached letting you know that Steve had arrived. You looked up, and there was your blue-eyed friend, leaning against the doorway, lips turned up in a small smile.

“Chinese food again?” He walked over and sat next to Natasha to grab a plate. “Everytime I come over here you two are sitting at the table eating Chinese takeout without speaking to each other. Natasha, get your feet off the table.”

Both of you smiled at this. “Okay, dad.” She snarkily responded. Those were the first words she had said all day. Of course Steve could get her to talk. Whenever he came to visit, he was always the one to break the quiet. To get you to smile. Three of you sat and chatted a bit about your days, until there was nothing left to say. Silence heavy in the air, Natasha set her plate down on the table. “I’m going to my room to work on some stuff. I’ll be gone for a bit.” She put her hand on your shoulder and left.

“We’re both aware that that’s code for her going to track Barton down, right?” You sighed heavily and nodded. He knew that she was spending any free time she had trying to find her best friend, but whenever she did find him, she would look at what he’d done and decided to leave it. Clint was grieving too. Natasha had been very reserved, and though the two of you were still close, the distance between her and everyone else seemed farther than ever.

You respected Natasha’s privacy and solitude, but sometimes you really need to talk to her. Much like Natasha, the Avengers were the only family you had, and you had lost them. You had survived and they hadn’t. Feelings were always bubbling in the pit of your stomach, but you had no way to express them. Exhaustion had kept you from your tears, but now that Steve was here, you broke down.

“She needs to grieve.” You took a long breath. “And so do I, frankly. Because everyone’s gone now Steve. There’s nothing left to fucking do. We have no leads about where they may have gone, or what the hell happened! Nothing is in our control anymore. There’s nothing left for us.” After your small outburst, the two of you sat in silence, hot tears trailing down your face.

“He loved you too, you know.” You looked up, red rimmed eyes, staring at him imploringly. “Bucky.”

Bucky. The one person that you had felt strongly towards. God, you wished you had just told him when you had the chance. But you let him walk off into battle before you could say anything.

You remembered the first time you saw the blue-eyed man. Clint had rushed you and Wanda out of the compound, exclaiming that Steve needed your help. Your friend had literally just thrown her boyfriend(?) through the ground, and everything about it seemed very illegal. Tony had told the two of you to stay inside the compound, but if Cap needed you, you went. After a fun journey to San Francisco to pick up Scott, the four of you found yourselves in a white van, traveling to an airport in Germany.

The first time you laid eyes on him, you could have sworn you were in heaven. Steve’s description of him did Bucky no justice. Long brown hair that fell right above his chin, and pink pouty lips. He had an angled jaw, that at the time you swore could get you pregnant it was so hot, and stubble that covered most of it. He had broad shoulders and you had to stop yourself from ogling his thighs. But what really caught your attention were his eyes. Bright and vibrant, yet tired and dull at the same time. In that moment, you had fallen in love.

However, your time with him wasn’t very long, as you soon after had to go and fight your old team. Once Steve and Bucky had gotten into the quinjet, you thought that was the last time you would see the pretty, blue-eyed boy. Months later though, after Steve came back to free you, Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Scott, he offered to take you to Wakanda. He knew you were tired, not looking to fight anymore, and T’Challa had offered asylum. Eagerly you had agreed, and flew to Wakanda, where you truly fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes.

Though Bucky was brought out of his cryostasis chamber three months after you had gotten there, the two of you had bonded fairly quickly. It did take him a while to open up to you, considering you had only a brief interaction, but after that, the two of you were inseparable. You would spend mornings watching the beautiful sunrise outside his hut and playing with the goats, afternoons working in the fields, and nights wrapped around each other with blankets, talking about nothing and everything all at once. Over the months, you found yourself falling farther and farther in love with Bucky, but you didn’t know what the two of you were. He always called you “doll”, “honey”, and “sweetheart”, and gave you forehead kisses. He came to you at night when he had nightmares and let you hold him until he fell asleep. But was that love? Did he feel anything for you? You hoped he did. But you let him get away, and now there was nothing left to say.

How?

Well, he said

There's nothing like your smile

Sort of subtle and perfect and real

He said

You never knew how wonderful

That smile could make someone feel

Snapping out of your reverie, you focused back on Steve. “H-he loved me?” Steve chuckled softly and leaned over the table slightly, taking your hand in his.

“More than anything.” Nodding at him to keep going, he continued. “He told me right before we went to fight. Horrible timing, but that’s how it always is, huh. So goddamn cliche.”

Steve thought back to the conversation he had had with his oldest friend, and recounted it for you.

“What’s going on with you and Y/N, pal?” Steve smiled brightly at his best friend, even though they weren’t in the best circumstances for a catch-up, he was dying to know what was going on between two of his closest friends. Bucky bashfully grinned and dipped his head down in hopes that his best friend wouldn’t see his blush, but to no avail. “Aw, you’re sweet on her, aren’t you?”

“Steve, I’m not sweet on her.” Steve’s smile fell, but Bucky’s only grew. “I think I love her. No, I know I love her.” He smiled fondly into the distance, watching where you were exchanging greetings with Sam and Natasha near Shuri’s lab tables. You were laughing, head thrown back and teeth sparkling in the light. You had a tactical suit on, hair tied up in a sleek ponytail, a rifle in hand, and Bucky thought you never had looked prettier.

Steve had never seen Bucky like this. Calm, peaceful, in love. Granted, they hadn’t exactly been spending lots of time together in the past seventy years, but it made him happy to know that Bucky was happy. “In love? What about her?”

Bucky chuckled and looked back to his friend. “Where do you want me to start?” Bucky sighed before beginning his speech. “She is the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. And from what I can remember, I knew a lot of girls back then. I know that waking up and getting to be around her everyday is a blessing, and makes me forget everything. She’s all sunshine and pure happiness, Steve.”

“What else, Buck?”

“She has the sweetest laugh in the world, and God, her smile is enough to make my entire day. It’s so real, just perfect. I only want to see that for the rest of my life. And she’s always there for me. Y/N is the most open-hearted person I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. She’s strong, hot-headed, kind, beautiful, funny, patient, and just so goddamn beautiful, inside and out. I would spend every single day with her by my side if that were possible.” Bucky then sighed, and his heart ached. Because though she was this wonderful human, how could she want him? His old, broken, damaged, quiet self? She deserved much better.

Steve grinned, completely missing Bucky’s face filled with self-doubt. “I think you’ve got it bad, Bucky. You should tell her.” The brunette simply shook his head.

“Maybe someday.”

But he kept it all inside his head

What he saw he left unsaid

And though he wanted to

He couldn't talk to you

He couldn't find the way

But he would always say

Your eyes started spilling more tears with Steve’s words. Bucky loved you. Bucky loved you. That information should have made you happy, but it just filled you with more grief. Silent sobs were felt through your whole body. “Oh sweet girl, what’s wrong?” Steve immediately got up to hug you, pulling your form into his body.

“We could've had a chance.” You managed to croak out. “We loved each other. We could’ve been happy together. It's strange really. We missed our opportunity.” Steve looked down at you and prodded you to continue your thoughts. “Stevie, I had so many reasons listed out in my head as to why I shouldn’t have told him. Maybe he thought of me as a sister, or wasn’t ready for a relationship. But to find out that we could’ve been happy together… it hurts worse than any of those options. We never told each other, and kept it inside of our heads. And now he’s gone.”

Steve continued to hold you throughout your breakdown. Your tears soaked his tee shirt, but he didn’t mind. And it was on that day in March of 2023, that the two of you mourned James Buchanan Barnes.

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start

If I could tell her

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

If someone had told Bucky that he would pass out in one battle and wake up to yet another one five years in the future, he probably would’ve hurt them. However, the only people he thought of hurting right now were Thanos and his stupid goonies. Blasting another creature to the ground, he grunted and pulled a hair tie off his wrist. Thank God Shuri forced him to carry them with him all the time, because his hair really was unmanageable. Tying half of his hair up in a small bun at the back of his head, he wondered what the hell was happening. No one had told him anything before they came onto this destructive wasteland. T’Challa just gave him a hand to help him off the ground, and told him that Steve needed his help.

Suddenly, a flash of navy blue sailed past him and it was like he was seeing you for the first time again. He stared at you, dumbfounded. Though he had only been gone for a few hours(in his point of view), you looked older, more mature, and a lot more tired. Your hair had been cut shorter, but you were still as beautiful as ever.

You brushed off some dust and looked around. The rest of your team had come back. Though you were in the middle of a battle, you couldn’t stop smiling. Tears were blocking your vision, but your emotions were on a rollercoaster right now, and you wanted all of it to be over. You saw Doctor Strange lifting up a storm along with many other wizards. Actually, were they wizards? You had no clue. Tony and Pepper fought side by side in the skies, and even Peter was holding the gauntlet as he rode on a pegasus’ back. But what caught most of your attention was the tall brunette, blue-eyed man staring right back at you.

“Bucky?” Tears found a path down your face, but you really didn’t care anymore. You ran towards him, aliens be damned. They could wait. After all, you had to wait five years.

Bucky saw you run towards him and he sprinted towards you with the same fervor, hot, salty tears falling from his eyes. His heart was filled with relief as he took you in.

And how do you say

I love you

Finally meeting each other in the middle, you grasped his face and brought your lips to his. He immediately gripped your waist and tugged you as close as he could to your body. This kiss was needy and heated, filled with hurry and passion. His tongue ran along your bottom lip, and you opened yourself up to him. When you finally pulled back for air, your heart was beating, fast.

“I love you, Bucky. So goddamn much.” Tears continued to flow down your cheeks, but you laughed, because after all these years, he was real, alive, and right in front of you.

“I love you too, Y/N. More than I can say.” He took his vibranium hand to wipe tears off your cheek, and pulled you back in for another kiss. This one, unlike the first one, was full of pure emotion, and the two of you put much more love into it. You smiled against his lips, and soon enough he did too. Because right now, in the middle of a battle, you found each other, and for now that was enough. No thoughts about the future, or the past. Just raw, pure, real love.

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gingyboo · 4 years ago

Text

Mirror Mirror

A/N: Again many thanks to @booglebug

Description- Soulmates existed. People knew that much. Soulmates were rare, a handful in each generation, an unexplainable phenomenon that formed a bond closer than blood and more sacred than marriage.

Bucky finds his soulmate when he needs her most. Little does he know how much she needs him too.

(Soulmate au that slots pretty much in to the MCU but with soulmates. Set after TFATWS.)

Pairing- Bucky Barnes x OFC

Warnings- Mentions of violence and guns, but its mostly fluff, drama and angst.

This is a multi chaptered fic.

Please like, comment, reblog!

prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 13

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Chapter 13

Shuri agreed to keep the prison safe whilst Sam, Bucky and Nancy headed for the raft. The US Marshalls could hardly say no to Captain America although they weren’t very happy about a British civilian going along as well. Torres had been sent back to America, no more unsanctioned missions for him. Shuri lent them a jet and a pilot. Before the left the princess had pulled Nancy to one side.

“I know he is your cousin, but he is a bad man. You should know it is only because of his excellent service and separation from your mother that has kept the Wakandan people happy for your father to remain here. You cannot trust this man.”

“Believe me I know, I know what he did to your father. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, it’s something my family has tried very hard to forget.” Nancy responded. Shuri had nodded to her in understanding, pressing a wrapped bundle of cloth into her arms.

“For the Red Wolf.” She said simply.

Her father had tears in his eyes as he said goodbye, “You find him, you bring back to me.” She had promised to, there was no point hiding her intentions anymore, they had a lead, nothing was going to stand in the way of finding her brother.

On board the plane Nancy sat with Shuri’s package cradled on her lap. Bucky sat beside her, tracing patterns lazily on the back of her hand. Sam sat on the other side of the jet, he kept watching Nancy out of the corner of his eye. Sam hadn’t said much to her since her revelation. Not that there’d been much time for chatting but still there was a chill in his presence that wasn’t there before.

“Stop staring Samuel.” Bucky snapped after a while and Sam’s eyes jumped up to meet his. Bucky’s eyebrows were raised, daring him to say something.

“I don’t like this James.”

“I didn’t choose to be related to him,”

“You didn’t tell us, how do we know we can trust you?” He appeared genuinely hurt by her omission. Nancy thought for a few moments.

“I just want to find my brother, you don’t have to trust me, but can you at least believe that.” Sam looked away from her then, silent acceptance.

“I’ll talk to him.” Bucky whispered kissing her temple.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever had my back so much before.” Nancy remarked

“It’s you and me doll, we stand together.” He winked at her, and Nancy felt warmth spreading through her as she beamed uncontrollably back at him. “You gonna show me what’s in there?” Bucky asked gesturing to the bundle. Nancy looked at it carefully. She’d mention it as a throw away comment, a joke during training, she didn’t think Shuri would actually come through with it. She peeled back the layers of cloth to reveal the garment beneath. Black and deep red panelling made up the trousers, top and jacket. Red gloves and boots were tucked into the bottom of the bundle as well as a brief note.

“Flame retardant, knife resistant and a lightweight breathable material. Or so Shuri says, I’m amazed she got it made so fast.” Nancy said, running her fingers over her suit. The belt boasted two knife holsters and a pouch of metallic ball bearings. After Nancy insisted on not carrying a gun Shuri had got creative, when activated by the device built into the sleeve, the balls would give off an electrical charge. Not enough to kill, but enough to knock someone down. An extra two knives were stowed away in the jacket’s lining and the backs of the gloves had reinforced panels of vibranium.

“I like it.” Bucky said once she’d got back from the tiny cubicle the jet called a toilet, now clad in the ensemble.

“Fits like a glove,” she smithed the material out before a brief jolt of turbulence knocked her back into her seat. Bucky’s arms reached out instinctively to catch her, but she caught herself, sliding back into the seat gently. Turbulence seemed to increase as they neared the raft. Nancy became more agitated which didn’t go unnoticed by her companions. For the first time she had to accept what her brother working with Helmut could mean. Did their views align? If so why had he taken the serum? Had he betrayed his country? Her brother who swore to fight for queen and country. The main question burned through them all though, where was he?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They reached the raft as were led through many security gates to a round room of cells. Zemo stood behind glass, he stared passively as the trio entered the room. No hint of surprise at the presence of Nancy.

“I wondered when I’d be graced with your presence dearest cousin. Family really is everything, wouldn’t you agree?”

“You’re nothing to me.” Nancy responded with narrowed eyes as she stalked round the edge of the room, each step bringing her closer to the glass.

“Don’t think I don’t know why you are here little one.” He smiled at her beckoning her towards him. She complied, briefly looking back to nod at Bucky first.

“Where is Kit?” She asked, staring him down.

“All in good time. I see you found him, I did used to wonder if you ever would.” Bucky made to move forward but Nancy waved him back.

“You knew?” She looked calm, inside she was screaming at him.

“You think your parents didn’t know, you think your mother wouldn’t have talked to mine. My parents were soulmates, your mother wanted to be certain. I heard things, not till later did I find out the metal armed man was him, I mean how many men like him are there.” He wagged his eyebrows in Bucky’s direction.

“Only one.” Nancy’s face turned to marble, she let the music rise up, calming her. “Tell me about Kit, we know he isn’t dead, we know you were working together, we know he took the serum. Where is he?”

“Is that all you want to know, don’t you want to know why? What if your precious brother doesn’t deserve to be found?”

“You want to tell me a story Helmut? Tell me a story, but it better end with where he is, or so help me god.”

“Your soldier won’t kill me, it’s not who he is anymore.” He smiled. Nancy Brought her face up to meet his against the glass.

“But I will.” She said it with a confidence she didn’t possess.

“Christopher worked for me, I knew about the British programme, I knew he’d be an ideal candidate, so I approached him, he wasn’t hard to convince, his weakness was glaringly obvious.”

“What weakness?” Nancy hated to ask.

“You my dear. His precious baby sister who he wanted to protect from the world. Little did he know the one he needed to protect you from was waiting in a mirror. Telling him that got him on side pretty quick. Who would want a monster dating their little sister?” Anger began to boil up inside Nancy’s head, drowning out her music.

“You Bastard!”

“Now come on, language, you were raised better than that.” he scolded with a frown before continuing “So, I told him, to protect you from the infamous winter solider he’d need to level the playing field. Then it was a simple task of tracking him to the classified location and shutting the place down. Him taking the serum was an unfortunate side effect, I underestimated their progress, but I’ve set the programme back many years now.”

“So, Kit didn’t betray them?”

“Well, no technically not, my people had him removed, sadly he escaped my custody, and by that point I had bigger fish to fry.” he nodded at Sam and Bucky. “I made my peace with that. He knows you’re looking for him though, sent me a letter some weeks ago, instructions on where you could find him.”

“What instructions were they?” she demanded, her fingers lightly grazed the blade at her waist.

“I’ll tell you, if you promise me a favour in return.” He whispered to her. There was a rush of movement and Bucky was behind her, gun drawn, pointing it at the glass. Sam stood behind him, hand on his shoulder, as if to hold him back.

“No!” Nancy whipped round, brandishing her blade at Bucky her eyes pleading for him to back down, one wrong move and Kit could be lost to her.

“You can’t trust him.”

“He’s the only chance.” She insisted. Bucky smiled sadly.

“You won’t hurt me doll.”

“No, I won’t.” She realised, she turned the knife in her hand before bringing it to her throat. “And you won’t hurt me.” Bucky dropped the gun instantaneously. His face filled with pain and Nancy lowered the blade, her own face painted with regret.

“Alright calm down.” Sam said standing between the two of them, Zemo had moved to sit on the edge of his bunk.

“Really very touching.” He looked at the three of them.

“What’s the favour?” She spat back at him. Something softened behind his eyes as he looked at her. He took a deep breath.

“Lay some flowers for me, at the memorial, In Sokovia.” Nancy, taken aback, nodded slowly. “Does the name Thomas Gregory mean anything to you?” His eyes darted to the cameras above them and then back again. Understanding Nancy nodded.

“Yes,”

“That’ll be a place to start.” He picked a book off his pillow waving it at her. She saw the title, Moby Dick. “You know, some people think the ending is the best part, I tend to prefer beginnings.”

Sam and Bucky both looked confused, but Nancy understood.

“Thank you, Helmut, I won’t forget this.” She turned her back and made to walk back to the door.

“Nancy,” he called out to her. She turned her head quickly. “White roses were her favourite, she might not have been my soulmate, but at the same time she was.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They received many odd looks from the raft’s personnel as they made their way back to the jet. Bucky seemed to be constantly staring at her and for the first time she felt discomfort under his gaze.

“Buck…” was all she managed to get out once they were seated once more in the plane, before Sam started asking questions.

“Who is Thomas Gregory?” he started.

“He’s no one, it was a code, one he knew only I would be able to decipher. He wants it to be me that finds him. If Helmut knows where he is, he doesn’t want those watching him to know that. Which means Duncan Everett is the only one trying to find him.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“I’ve got an idea. Thomas Gregory was a friend of his, the first boy I ever thought I loved actually,” Nancy noticed Bucky tense up by her side, but she ignored it. “Kit knew I’d remember him. Really a cruel joke. They had been friends for ages, but his family was actually from Cornwall originally.”

“Prefers the beginning.” Bucky muttered, Nancy nodded up at him with a grateful smile. He, at least, was following.

“Moby Dick was a clue too I think. Kit loved the sea, he read that book for school once, he was obsessed with it. He’s got to be working the coast.” She pieced it together in her mind. He knew how to crew the greatest naval vessels, it makes sense for his cover to be working on the boats.

“In Cornwall.” Sam clarified.

“yes, I believe so.”

“Then we’ll head there, we’ll find him.” Bucky said, looking to Sam for any hint of protest.

“We’ve come this far.” Sam decided, rising up to let their pilot know the new course. he looked back briefly at Bucky who nodded. Then it was just Nancy and Bucky sat side by side, yet miles apart.

#bucky barnes #winter solider #sam wilson #captain america #mcu #mcu fic #soulmate #zemo

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unbloomingmoonflower · 4 years ago

Text

some untitled angst.

When did he notice her differently? Was it when she was holding her own against a horde of enemies? Was it when she would smile at him with some sort of twinkle in her eye?

Or was it the image painted by young Alphinaud of her sitting at the side of the inert Azure Dragoon moons prior, gazing at him with the fondness he was often told was directed to him?

Thancred knew that Shuri was a gentle girl at heart, but she had changed from the trials and tribulations that marred the path of a Warrior of Light. She and her fellow Warriors, handled their lot as well as they could in their own ways. When last Thancred saw of Shuri, she was of White Mage class, focused on healing. However, it seemed that, upon their reunion, Shuri settled for the instincts of her Xaela brethren; she fought with precision and aim of the most graceful of assassins. Yet the image of Shuri’s soft expression being directed at someone else filled Thancred with the strangest sense of rage. ‘Twas insult enough that he couldn’t protect Minfilia; now, he was to lose Shuri--

Lose.

What an interesting word choice that crossed his mind, as though the white-haired Xaela had already been his. He had not made such claims to the maiden’s heart and yet here he was, as though expecting it to after the Scions long scattered to the wind after the attempted assassination of the Sultana and thus being framed for it. So much were these feelings within him proving difficult, that Thancred could not stop himself from reflecting. After running errands at the behest of Aymeric long after the citizens of Ishgard (and after Alphinaud and Tataru) telling tale of battling the great wyrm Nidhogg, their paths crossed again.

Shuri had gotten stronger, wielding her weapons with grace. Her expression had lit up when Thancred was reunited with the other Scions. She was born with the strangest eyes, even for a Xaela; despite the bright, winter blue limbal rings in their depths, her left eye was the color of moonlight and the right was the depths of the ocean. Yet every time she would gaze at him, those bright eyes seemed to shine even brighter than before.

After their path brought them to Minfilia, and ultimately her fate to be one with the Word of the Mother, Shuri’s expression changed. It was though she were in physical pain to have to recount her exchange with Minfilia, fighting back tears--as though the words were knives being stabbed into her body.

How many times has she shed tears? How often has grief marred the face of the woman who tried so hard to continue to smile?

Wrought with so many thoughts of the Auri female, Thancred had no choice but to chat with Alphinaud while the group set up camp to get himself in order. The Warriors of Light and Y’shtola were sleeping beneath the starry sky, save for Thancred and Alphinaud and that is when the white-haired Midlander spoke. “Alphinaud...about Shuri--”

The lad quirked an eyebrow, blue eyes alight with curiosity. “What of her?”

“Has she been well…?”

“She has been. I scarcely can imagine why it is a concern--”

“She has not shed a tear as of late?”

The white-haired youth was all but surprised at the older male’s question and blinked his sapphire eyes repeatedly. “I’m sorry to ask this again, but...what, pray tell, has you so concerned about Shuri’s emotions so suddenly, Thancred?”

There was no way Alphinaud was this much of a fool, but Thancred supposed it was due to his young age. “You have been at her side long after the madness at the Sultanate. You have even witnessed her around the...dragoon and have told me thus.” Quite a hard thing for him to say out loud. “Did...was she...close to him?”

Alphinaud’s expression turned contemplative, a gloved hand brought to his chin in thought. “I wouldn’t say they were close in the beginning. Estinien had been rather rough with Shuri, considering her to be weak,” he began to explain, lowering his hand. “I daresay Shuri was rather wounded by his treatment and yet she only ever smiles. ‘Twould seem her every effort to convince Estinien differently. He did warm to her and they did get rather close.”

The monster in him, a sickly bile that climbed into his throat. So Shuri and Estinien were close in his absence and Thancred could not keep his gaze from the silver-haired Xaela now, fast asleep. Serene in her slumber, his fingers itched to push her bangs from her forehead--yet was her heart was forever lost to him?

“Tis not my place to speak for her. Mayhap you ought to speak to Shuri yourself, Thancred,” Alphinaud added in a murmur, his gaze long averted from the older male. Assumptions may hurt you both.”

Thancred only shook his head. “Ought to follow your own advice, boy.”

Choking back a noise of surprise (and likely denial), Alphinaud quickly composed himself before responding pointedly. “Shuri cares for you, Thancred. All you need is but to speak to her of it. Do not harm her or yourself by simply doing nothing.”

Those words held a harsh weight to them and Thancred simply remained silent. Alphinaud’s words almost had a similar feel to an accusation--that he was hurting Shuri by remaining silent as stone of his concerns. It should not matter that the girl grew close to another, when there was no claim staked upon her being already.

He did not have the right to expect such a thing from her, not when she deserved better than that.

#moonie writes #some old school shuri x thancred angst #and by old school I mean probably posted at some point and forgot about it

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lovelyirony · 5 years ago

Note

Hey, about that prompt, I just thought of smth. Do you write IronPanther? If yes, would you write something non-AU, light and funny where Tony and Shuri work together to make T'Challa's life difficult? (No team Cap bashing, though I'm pretty sure you wouldn't do that anyway.) I love this ship, but don't see myself writing it, mainly because I don't think I could do T'Challa's character justice. So, if you're up for it, that would be really cool. But if it's not your thing, that's okay too! :)

T’Challa should never have pranked his sister. He should’ve known something was up when he could dodge the buckets at the tips of doors, the small little ones that anyone could see.

His sister hadn’t done those before. He should’ve known there was something bigger.

“Your sister has volunteered to be a chaperone,” his mother says, smiling grandly. “She would like to see Stark Industries’ labs and ask Tony Stark questions.”

T’Challa sends her a glare and grits his teeth.

“Sure,” he says.

Fact: T’Challa has a slight crush on Tony Stark.

(It’s not slight. Not at all. Okoye makes fun of him all the time. He can’t say he blames her.)

“Excited, brother?” Shuri asks, twirling a stylus around her fingers.

“Not particularly.”

“Told you I’d get you back for messing with my new car designs,” Shuri says with a sniff. “And now since I’m the smart one of the family, I get to have Tony ask me tons of questions and you will be there for decoration. Ha!”

T’Challa grumbles to himself.

As soon as they touch down, Tony grins.

“Hey you two,” he says. “I was thinking lunch and then some questions. From me. Not from you guys, because I’m pretty sure I have a typed list somewhere.”

“You do, Boss,” Friday adds cheerily. “It is three pages long, would you like to send it to them?”

“Um no,” Tony says quickly. “In fact, let me review that beforehand to make sure I ask the…right ones.”

Lunch is excellent. Tony gets to ask about the well-being of all of them, what’s new in Wakanda.

Shuri dominates the conversation, of course. She tells him about the new models of transport, new techno-fabric, and Tony is enamored. He’s asking question after question.

T’Challa decides that the tzatziki sauce is really quite good and eats a lot of it.

He doesn’t have an outward emotion as he kicks Shuri under the table and excellently cuts into another topic of asking Tony to show them around.

“My little sister doesn’t have much experience of this world, I am sure we would both like to see what you offer.”

“It’s not much,” Tony says. “But let’s go!”

Shuri leans into T’Challa’s ear.

“Don’t think this is over.”

“Oh I know it isn’t,” T’Challa answers simply. “But I made it harder, didn’t I?”

She doesn’t answer as she gets into the front seat of the car, relegating him to the back.

T’Challa listens to Shuri talk about American movies the whole way to where they are going.

Tony is taking them to a variety of local shops, some of his favorites. T’Challa enjoys hearing about his favorite things to get, and gets some ideas for things at a later date.

(Yes, gifts.)

Shuri, of course, not-so-subtly references this and watches amusedly as Tony gets flustered.

“I, um, how kind of you.”

“A good man deserves good gifts,” T’Challa manages to say. “And you’re a good man.”

(He wishes he could shut up. He honestly could.)

Tony ends up taking them to a “dive” place.

“They’re the best place to eat,” he explains. “Plus it’s just so good.”

They walk into a restaurant that had clearly seen better days, although the older waitress looked very happy to see Tony.

“It’s been ages,” she says, smiling broadly. “Same table?”

“Same table.”

They easily slide into the chairs, and Tony starts rambling about how he had found this place years ago, and Grace had been his waitress for years.

“At this point, having anyone else is just weird,” he says, grinning. “But I highly recommend that we get the onion rings. In fact, I mandate it.”

The conversation isn’t so one-sided now, one or the other. Shuri doesn’t monopolize the time, instead laughing over stories that T’Challa tells and interjecting with her own.

Tony tells them all about “restarting” SI, in a sense. He asks them about their own country, what they can talk about. T’Challa says he’ll have to visit some time.

“I’d love to take you up on that,” Tony says, eyes sparkling.

Shuri is grumpy on the way home.

“He had eyes for only you,” she teases/whines. “I didn’t even get to ask him about his new solar power! I wanted to ask if he had…”

T’Challa’s listening drifts as he smiles to himself.

His contented smile drops as soon as Shuri rushes out of the plane, a grin on her face.

“Okoye, you’ll never guess who’s coming to dinner…”

Bast save me, T’Challa groans.

Okoye doesn’t grin, not yet.

“I look forward to our visitor, Your Highness,” she says, eyes flashing. “He will have to be…properly acquainted with the Royal Family if these are your intentions? I can send an…email blast.”

“That will not be necessary,” T’Challa counters. “Don’t you dare.”

“You won’t teach him the proper customs your eyes glaze over whenever you see him,” Okoye reminds him. “I will coordinate with your mother.”

Even worse.

Shuri giggles.

“Having fun yet, Your Highness!”

T’Challa gives her a very unroyal guesture.

(But even all of this cannot express his excitement for Tony to come visit.)

#shuri: is a little shit #ironpanther #t'challa #tony stark #okoye #shuri #wakanda #black panther #iron man #yeah tony is IN DEEP #it doesn't seem like it but he is. he took them to a dive of a diner #that's how u know it's love :)#lovelyirony writes

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devnicolee · 5 years ago

Text

The Chosen Ones (5)

Warnings: Slow burn

Word Count: 10,079

Pairing: M’Baku x Original Character

M'Baku's hands painfully clutched the sides of the window, half of its shattered glass scattered around his feet. His eyes were transfixed on the path of smoke slowly dissipating into nothing like he was hypnotized, as if his intense stares alone could bring the woman who flew out the window moments prior back to him. Every second that passed and every mile she traveled farther away from home and him, his frustration and rage at the people left behind grew. It only took moments, barely enough time for the group to catch their breath and truly process everything that transpired, for his rage to boil over.

"I hope all of you are happy," he said slowly, voice quiet and deadly as he turned around to face Asha's family and the remaining council members. Despite being in the presence of the Dora and the Black Panther, most of the group shrank in his shadow. Usually, M’Baku’s bark was bigger than his bite, not nearly as terrifying or intimidating as his appearance would have someone believe. But it seemed his gentle giant personality flew out the window with the love of his life and before them stood, simply, a raging giant.

"Excuse me?" T'Challa asked as silence fell over the group. "Are you blaming this on us?" T’Challa was frustrated, already internally blaming himself for how utterly spectacularly his plan failed. He genuinely thought he was helping, and perhaps foolishly, did not even once consider this outcome. He expected outrage, anger, of course. No decision he made came without those from someone. But this? This type of catastrophe? He was wholly unprepared. But he did know that hearing someone voice the thoughts already swirling around in his mind caused rage to flare up in him.

"Well, who else is to blame King T'Challa? You are the ones who were forcing her to hide and pretend and lie. You all created t-this system that treats her like a second-class citizen, that allows people like that woman to attack her. What in Hanuman's name did you expect? That she would be able to sit here and take that all her entire life?" M'Baku yelled, his voice booming, vibrating throughout the large throne room.

"Not that I need to justify the choices of this family to you or anyone, Shuri and I have been trying to help Asha. You wouldn't even know her, wouldn't be able to sit and judge us if I had not forced her to join the tribe and take that job in Jabariland in the first place! She didn't even want it. You have known her for what? A month? We," he emphasized, gesturing toward the sister he had left, "have been here by her side her entire life!" T'Challa voice raised to match M'Baku's as the men traded verbal jabs at the other, neither willing to shoulder the blame the other carelessly tossed at their feet.

"Yes, and some help the two of you have been while she was being emotionally abused and mistreated in her own home. This," he scoffed, "this isn't a life! What you and your parents forced upon her isn't a life. And you didn't fight for her to have the life she deserved. From where I am sitting, you never have. If you had, it wouldn't have taken 25 years. If you had, she would not have felt the need to flee out of your window to Hanuman knows where!"

"And what of you hm? Did you ever stop to think about why Asha didn't flee up to the mountains to be with you the first chance she got? Since you know her so well... since you offered her freedom and a real life that we didn't? Because maybe Asha understood what it could cost all of us, maybe she understood there are larger obligations at play. But you don't care about the cost! To us... or to Asha for that matter. You don't care about what is best for her and her family. You just care about her being who you want her to be. You don't love her for her, you love her for her powers. How is that any different than Hasani? Or my father who demanded she be who they wanted?" He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself before adding, "If you knew my sister as well as you think you do, you would know that she would never choose to sacrifice this family for herself."

"I knew you didn't deserve to be King, time and time again you prove that you are just a boy. A child who has no concept of leadership," M'Baku spat. "Because if you did, you would have been willing to sacrifice it all for her. It would never have to be her choice! You all had countless opportunities to do something different, to avoid the consequences of being indifferent to hate. When your parents or the Council plucked at the threads holding your sister together, you did nothing. Because you do not care about her, you only care about your family's grip on power, just like your father."

T'Challa's eyes flashed red as M'Baku's words sank in. A king no longer stood before him, the Black Panther and a very overprotective brother did. His suit instinctively wrapped its protective fibers around his body, launching him into attack mode. The only sounds in the room were sharp breaths and the collective bang of the Dora banishing their spears, ready to defend their King if needed. There was no room for God, Bast or Hanuman as the safe space separating the two vanished completely. Verbal blows were over, physical ones were zooming toward them with the speed of a panther as T'Challa said in a low voice, "Do. Not. Ever. insinuate that I --"

"Alright, enough boys, enough!" Nakia yelled, cutting off her boyfriend and pushing her way between the two men. Her hands pushed against each of their chests to force them apart. She didn't expect to actually move them, and she didn't, but it gave them both a physical signal to retreat to their figurative corners. They could argue all day if they wanted but Nakia knew it would be a worse end to an already terrible day if T'Challa killed one of his council members.

"You are all dismissed," she called out forcefully to the remaining council members, who no one else seemed to realize were still there. They all seemed to be too invested in the drama, feeling that the council meetings had gotten far more interesting now that T'Challa was king. And though Nakia actually did not have the authority to end any meetings, they all scampered, quickly gathering their things to leave. Once the last soul exited, leaving M'Baku and the Royal Family behind, Nakia added, "We all failed her and so we all shoulder the blame for this. Had we not... she would here and not... not lost. Arguing over who failed her the most and who loves her the most won't help us find her or help us get her back. So, let us focus on that for now and then Asha can tell us all how much we failed her in person. Agreed? Good." She answered herself, not waiting for either man to respond before redirecting her attention to Shuri. "Now, Shuri, can you trace the signal from her beads?"

Shuri had been silent those far, watching the two men argue from the window. She wiped the stray tear or two from her eyes as she walked back to her original seat and picked up her tablet. After a couple of seconds, a large-scale 3-D map of Wakanda was projected at their feet. The group moved out of the way to get a better view, looking down to see a thin red line labeled "Princess Asha Udaka" appear and slowly zigzag its way out of the inner dome around the Capitol. The dot traveled a short distance in the wilderness before stopping abruptly above the Land of the Heart-Shaped Herb.

"Her trail ends here," Shuri stated, pointing at the end of the line.

"So she is there?" M'Baku stated, half as a matter of fact statement and half as a question. "Let us go and get her."

"I didn't say she was there. I said her signal ends there," Shuri snapped back, understandably still angered at M'Baku's earlier attack as they were directed at both she and T'Challa.

She continued tapping away as Nakia said, "How is that possible? Override her tracker bead and find her that way."

"I am working on it," Shuri responded immediately, clearly agitated. There was silence as Shuri tapped away on her screen, eyes growing bigger.

"What is it, Shuri?" T'Challa asked.

"She destroyed her beads, either accidentally or on purpose. We won't be able to find her this way."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, if she manually turned off her tracker, I would be able to override it but I can't. And right before it stopped transmitting a location, her health bead sent out a distress signal, then stopped tracking and recording all health data. That bead never turns off, it can't. It records everything to the minute. So, best guess, and my guesses are usually never wrong, she destroyed them."

"I thought you couldn't destroy vibranium?" M'Baku asked, not truly understanding how the beads or vibranium worked.

"You can destroy anything if you have something powerful enough. Asha's powers certainly aren't enough to destroy vibranium, you know - reduce it to atoms. But with enough sustained fire, it can melt. And the beads are made of more than vibranium. Once exposed to an open flame for too long, the tech can be rendered useless. The point is, her beads won't help us. She could be fine and not want to be found. But... she could be hurt and be unable to tell anyone. We just don't know, so we have to find her the old-fashioned way."

"She didn't leave Wakanda, nothing has crossed the exterior border in the last hour," Okoye offered as she checked a log on her beads.

"So aside from the border, where could she be headed in that direction? Any place of significance to her?"

"That path is on the road to everywhere significant. The border, Warrior Falls, Jabariland, the Hall of Kings... It also depends on if she is looking for a place to be alone for a few hours or shelter for days. The mountains could give her shelter but who would she go there for besides you? Warrior Falls is her favorite spot but she won't find shelter there."

"And I doubt she would choose to go to the Hall of Kings," Shuri added. "It houses the Garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb," she added for M'Baku's benefit. "No one has been there for over a month. After Killmonger destroyed it, the priestesses refused to return, saying Bast cursed the land."

"My son... perhaps we should just let her be," Ramonda offered, approaching the group from her seat off to the side. Everyone's heads turned, almost as if they forgot she was even in the room. Her words coupled with the almost annoyed look on her face caused a cloud of anger to settle over the group once more.

"What? How could you suggest such a thing, Mama?" Shuri asked in disbelief.

"Your sister can only bring this family ruin. Why bring her back here to further destroy everything? Whatever she is searching for outside of this palace may be what is best for her."

"Asha is our sister. She is a member of this family, a leader in this country. The only people who have destroyed everything are you and Baba for creating this mess. We are finding her and we are bringing her home."

"I am just sugg-"

"That is the end of this discussion. And you would do well to never make that suggestion in my presence again." His tone almost as lethal and harsh as the one he banished Elder Shani with earlier. T'Challa turned his back to his mother before continuing, "M'Baku and I will take the Talon and clear every inch of Wakanda like a grid. The body scans will identify her tattoo. You all stay here in case she returns."

He did not wait for confirmation or approval from anyone else for a plan, deciding if someone had a better idea then they would have said it already. He motioned for M’Baku to follow him out of the throne room without another word.

****

The ride on the Talon was virtually silent as the airplane piloted itself and T'Challa intently examined the sand table in the middle of the ship that reflected the passing landscape beneath them. He transitioned for pacing, throwing aggressive glances at the table, to standing hunched over it, staring at the sand disheartened and frustrated. The sand rapidly transformed into the different trees and rivers they passed over and people they passed over, all the dark gray color of the sand. T'Challa warned M'Baku that they would be waiting for purple sand, that it would be her. M'Baku let T'Challa do that while he just stared out of the window at the sea of black as if he could see Asha's body in the darkness.

"Why do you love her?"

M'Baku wondered if T'Challa got pleasure out of asking him deep questions out of the blue. "What's not to love?" M'Baku asked, not looking away from the window. At the returning silence, he grinned slyly and glanced back to see a very unsatisfied look on his face. He understood, understood the question and its purpose. If his thoughts were any indication, perhaps T’Challa worried that he was merely infatuated with his sister, not actually in love with her. He knew he did not need to but he did care about convincing T’Challa that that was not the case here. That his love was real and not some childish fantasy or obsession with magic.

"You know I noticed her at your challenge. There I was, down the mountains for the first time in my life, determined to die for that throne. And when I looked at the crowd, she was the first thing I noticed. My eyes drew to her like a moth to a flame. It was fleeting though, I could only focus on her for a second for there was fighting and honorable dying to get on with. And then the first time I saw her... truly saw her, in Jabariland… I mean, Hanuman. I have been with a great deal of women in my life but I had never seen one like her before. I saw it - that sadness you spoke of. But I also saw fire, passion, fierce determination. What do I love about her? I love the way you can see her heart soar at every compliment or kind word. I love the way her eyes, already filled with fire, light up when she discovers something new about herself. I love how she values family despite hers being so fragmented. I love that she is so dedicated to Wakanda, loves Wakanda so deeply despite not receiving that love in return. I love her quiet strength, her endless compassion."

He paused for a few moments, turning around to lean back against the wall of the ship. A hearty laugh escaped his lips as he stared across the ship at nothing. "You know the first time I realized it?" he asked as he walked up to T'Challa, looking down at the sand table. "We uh... we have this small cliff across from the Lodge. From there, you can see the best view of the sunset in all of Wakanda. To most of the tribe it isn't anything special, truth be told. Myself included, having had access to it my entire life. It became mundane and ordinary. But Asha, she likes sunsets so I took her there while she was in Jabariland. And you could see her whole being fill with joy and excitement, like this ordinary, mundane cliff was the best thing she had seen in her life. I don’t know, up until that point, I had tried to keep my feelings at bay. I didn’t deserve her I told myself. But the idea that she could love something so boring and ordinary made me feel like maybe she could love someone who was boring and ordinary. Who did not possess the power she did.”

The two men fell silent for a moment, T'Challa not knowing what to say. After a few minutes, M'Baku added, "You were not totally wrong earlier. When I was young, I wanted so desperately to be like her. I would pray on my knees until they ached to be blessed with a gift. I thought I had grown out of that. But your sister... I just wanted her to see what I saw, to accept the freedom I could offer, to choose me. Because if she chose me, if she could love me, then maybe I was not as ordinary and boring as I always felt. But I didn't think about the cost to her or you all, what was the cost to mere mortals in the face of her powers? But that... that selfishness isn't her way. All I saw was two people who were wholly unfulfilled. And I was so desperate for her to be mine so I could fill us both… so she could be free and I could be a part of something that was not ordinary that I never stopped to consider that maybe it is time for her to be hers. Time for others to stop forcing their wants on her and that includes me."

T'Challa simply stared at him, not expecting even half of an answer as detailed, nuanced and passionate as that. “I-I am sorry. For the throne room,” he started to say but M’Baku stopped him.

“We both said things, things I know I regret and you did not deserve or earn. Let us leave them in the past, yes?” M’Baku asked, extending an olive branch to his king. T’Challa nodded but before he could say anything else, a flash of purple sand caught his eye.

"I found her!" he called out.

M'Baku moved quickly to the sand table where purple sand was interrupting the field of gray while T’Challa directed the Talon to turn around and slowly lower to hover above the trees. "She is in front of the Hall of Kings."

M'Baku touched the purple sand that represented her horizontal body, expecting it to crumble in his hand like sand usually did to but it remained solid. He held it in his hand, silently pleading with Hanuman that she was alive and well.

"We cannot get any closer?” M’Baku asked as T’Challa activated his suit and motioned for him to follow him down the ramp.

“Out of respect for Bast’s whole place, we do not fly or hover the Talon directly over the Hall of Kings or its immediate surroundings.

M’Baku nodded then questioned, “Any idea why Asha would come here?"

"My father used to come here and pray. Only the Panther Tribe and those who tend to the Garden are even allowed here. It is sacred ground. Asha has never even been here."

"And they believe it is cursed now?" M'Baku asked, an eerily feeling falling over him as they moved through the darkness with little light to guide them. But he could not tell if that was because the land was actually haunted or because he was simply overthinking after what Shuri said.

"That is what the priestesses have told us... that Bast was enraged at the destruction of the Garden. Everytime they come here, they say they are overcome with dark thoughts, visions of Bast. They hear cries and rustlings in the trees," T'Challa answered.

"And you believe them?" M'Baku pushed a low hanging branch out of their way as they approached the clearing she was supposed to be in. "I do not hear anything."

"The priestesses have tended to this garden for most of their lives with Zhuri. It is their whole world. They have no reason to lie," his voice trailed off as the reason for their journey came into view. "Asha!"

T'Challa and M'Baku raced forward when they saw her body in a heap on the forest floor. As they approached, T'Challa quickly inspected the area and noticed the scorched black Earth branching out from beneath her body, her lack of shoes, and the cuts littering her arms and legs. Her face was hidden from view, covered by all her braids. She was knocked out cold. M'Baku reached her first, recognizing that T'Challa should have due to his enhanced speed, but understanding and appreciating the gesture.

M'Baku knelt down into the soft earth beside her, gently shifting her head so her face was facing up. He was startled at the lack of warmth in her body. Usually the girl felt like a furnace but now? She was as cold as ice. M'Baku felt her coldness as if someone had replaced his own blood with ice. He was so sure, convinced they would find her alive and well, probably too convinced. He had not prepared himself for any other possibility, refused to even consider it. Now all the other possibilities were vying for his attention, demanding he reckon with the reality that Asha was no goddess at all... she was human, a mere mortal like the rest of them.

"Check her pulse," T'Challa said, his voice even and cold. He knew from the way M'Baku held her cheek, the way the man seemed paralyzed that all was not right. He had not allowed himself to consider this either, forced the thought out of his mind every time. But staring at her, wishing for a different scenario would not change the current outcome. They needed to know and prolonging it would not ease their pain.

M'Baku nodded, signaling that he heard the question. He couldn't get his mouth or vocal chords to work enough to verbally respond. He took a deep breath, sent a silent prayer to Hanuman before starting to move his hand down to her neck to find a pulse. For a moment, he thought back to their time in the mountains, that sunset on that cliff. It truly was a perfect moment, a perfect stolen moment that ended too quickly. Asha seemed to believe that was all they were, all they would get: a selfishly seized stolen moment that was not actually in the cards for either of them. But M’Baku refused to believe that as he prayed to Hanuman. He prayed that life, no matter how strong or feeble, would still pump through her veins when his fingers pressed into her neck. Because he knew she deserved more… and he knew that they deserved a lifetime of moments designed especially for them and freely given to them to fulfill.

****

Asha groaned as she opened her eyes, shifting a bit as she registered the hard forest ground beneath her and the pain radiating through her body. One look at the sky above her caused her to sit up quickly, completely ignoring the immediate frustration and pain born from crashing to the ground. She quickly noticed several things that were not as they should have been. It was pitch black outside when she left the palace but now? The sky was ablaze with deep hues of purple and blue, lights that moved across the sky like a living organism. If she were not so perplexed, she would have been content simply lying there to admire its beauty.

She didn't even really understand how she got here - she crashed in the forest, that much she remembered. But now? She was surrounded by tall swaying grass like that of the Alkama Fields, not the towering thick trees and greenery that surrounds the Hall of Kings. She stood up quickly, dusting the dirt off her purple dress and turned from side to side, trying to notice any landmarks or buildings that would help her discern where she was now.

She walked a few paces ahead of her before an eerie feeling settled over her causing her to stop in her tracks. There was nothing out of the ordinary ahead of her and yet, the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. She turned around slowly, the sight behind her rendered her speechless. And thank Bast it did or else she would have let out a blood-curdling scream and she doubted theblack panthers staring at her from this tree would have appreciated that. She counted 10 or so of them as her eyes swept across the tree frantically. Her legs turned into jelly as examining stares passed between her and the majestic but deadly creatures. They seemed to regard her with interest, while Asha was too busy looking from the tree to the very short span of grass that separated them.

That is an easy leap for any one of them.

Asha's mind started racing, trying to access years of knowledge about Panthers and quickly sift through it all for something that could help her. As if her knowledge was a roaring rapid, the facts flew past her at an unnatural speed, uselessly until one old legend jumped out at her. Many believed that the Panther Tribe had a deeper connection with all panthers, those on the island and those in the wild, and so no panther would ever harm them. However, now seemed like a poor time to test that theory in Asha's opinion.

She pushed down with her hands, deciding that flying was far safer than walking and would help her find her way home. However, much to her shock, nothing happened. She tried again, facing scrunching up in intense frustration and concentration as she tried to force fire out of her extremities to gain flight. But she couldn't even get sparks... she was completely and utterly powerless. She groaned softly in frustration, not understanding how she was rendered powerless - something she had hoped and prayed for - the one time she actually needed them.

As she stood there examining her hands, her legs started to feel warm. She ignored it initially, hoping it was her powers finally starting up again. That was until the unmistakable smell of smoke reached her nose. She looked behind her and realized the grass around her was slowly catching on fire.

"Oh no," she said quietly, trying to wave the flames away, using all the tricks she knew to absorb fire but nothing worked. She backed away from it, edging closer to the tree of panthers who seemed completely unperturbed by the fire coming closer to them. Every time she tried to channel her powers and absorb it, it grew larger and spread faster. Soon, she was surrounded. Asha covered her mouth with her arm, trying to avoid breathing in the smoke that was now obstructing her vision. Deja-vu poked through the haze of panic settling over her - she had been here before.

She lifted a hand to the flames, praying that she, at least, still had her ability to touch fire and be unharmed. But that proved to be wishful thinking as well. She cried out in pain as the fire burned her skin and caused the palm of her hand to turn red and immediately blister.

She clutched her burning hand to her chest, tears flowed freely at the throbbing pain radiating from it. She had never known the pain fire caused and now she wished she still didn't. She looked around wildly, trying to find an escape from the blazing inferno that seemed intent on killing her. With no other plan or recourse available to her, Asha simply yelled out "Bast! Help me!" Who else was there to seek help from at this point? There was no living soul anywhere near her, she was sure of that.

She was just about to close her eyes, resigned to dying alone in this inferno far from home, when a glowing light caught her eye. She looked up and the smoke seemed to clear just enough for her to see a panther approaching her through the flames. If Asha hadn't been so awestruck, she would have collapsed with fear. This was no ordinary panther, she realized. Its skin appeared to be made of diamonds, glistening and shining in the light of the flames, and was as tall as Asha herself. It walked through the flames as if they were nothing more than colorful air that had no effect whatsoever. When it was close enough, Asha was able to look in its eyes. They were a rich purple, almost like someone hand-picked the finest jewels and plucked them in its eyes. It reminded her of something, something distinct that she couldn't quite put her finger on with the haze of panic around her.

Bast.

She didn't know how she knew but she knew. It couldn't be anyone else.

She and the panther stared at each other for, what Asha considered to be, an uncomfortable amount of time. Asha realized how often she blinked as she stared into its jeweled eyes, examining the intensity in which this animal tilted its head from side to side to study her.

"If you are Bast, give me a sign? Or you know... be quick about it if you are going to kill me?" She whispered, laughing uncomfortably to herself. She wondered if she was losing her mind, here in this unknown place trying to escape fire by talking to an animal.

The fire. Asha was so taken by this panther in front of her that she had forgotten about the flames so quickly, flames that she had been terrified of only moments prior. She looked around wildly, realizing that the smoke was no longer affecting her. She could breathe easy again, it felt like nothing different than standing in a field of flowers. And almost as beautiful, she thought to herself as she watched the flames rage around her for a second, relieved now that she knew it couldn’t hurt her. She knelt down and bowed her head, understanding who was causing this, who was in front of her.

"Open your eyes, Asha."

Asha lifted her head at the sound of a voice to find a woman where the panther once stood. Asha looked around and found untouched, seemingly perfect grass, replacing the burning field that was there before. She also realized that her hand was no longer red and pulsing with pain. All the evidence of the last five minutes seemed to vanish, like it never happened.

"Y-You are Bast?" Asha asked, her voice echoed the disbelief in her head. The answer was obvious, other-worldly radiated off the woman before her. She certainly was not human. Her deep chocolate skin glowed like the sun, adored from head to toe in gold robes. Nestled on top of her long, flowing black locs was a simple golden crown with purple jewels settled around it. The rest of the world fell away as Asha stared at her, captivated and sure that she could look at her for the rest of her days and it would never be enough.

"You called for me, did you not?"

Asha blinked a few times, her desperate calls for Bast almost forgotten. It felt like ages ago now despite only being minutes. But she hadn't actually expected the goddess to show up; after all she called on Bast for decades and she never came to her aid those times. "Y-yes, yes I did. Thank you f-for saving me. I suppose I didn't think you would show up," Asha admitted with an apologetic tone. There was an awkward pause as Bast simply stared at her across the field, clearly waiting for Asha to speak. "I am in the Ancestral Plane, yes? I died after my crash?" Her tone was surprisingly calm and casual, as if she was confirming the weather and not her livelihood.

She laughed lightly, "Yes and no, you are in the Ancestral plane but no, you are not dead. You came close, that is certain. That flight was a dangerous venture even for experienced flyers. But worry not, you are very much still among the living."

"Oh." Asha stopped her silent walking just behind Bast, causing the Goddess to instinctively stop as well and turn to her. Asha looked to her left and saw yet another set of panthers leering at her from a tree beside her, each woman standing on either side of its trunk, staring at the other. Asha's eyes flinted from Bast to one panther in particular. Most stared at her with interest for a moment before going back to sleep or turning their attention elsewhere. But not this one, its deep brown eyes bored into Asha's soul so intensely that even when she turned away, it felt like a laser on her profile.

"You almost sound disappointed by that fact." Bast responded, interrupting her staring match with the panther. Asha turned her attention back to Bast, an amused look on her face.

"Oh no, I mean I am happy to be alive. I guess I am just confused. Why am I here then?"

"Well, I wanted to speak with you. I have been watching you... waiting for the opportunity to approach you. The moment finally presented itself. You have visited us before."

"Yes, in my dreams. I did not know what it was though, but I thought it was just some place I made up. And I never make it past the flames. Wait - what do you mean you have been watching me?"

"I have been watching you as I do with all I have deemed worthy of a gift, waiting for them to reach out to me. I meet with all the gifted at some point in their lives. When they have reached a point in their self discovery, I find that most need to be pushed forward, as you do now. Some reach that point earlier than others though. The waiting can be difficult, as it was with you but you finally got there."

The breeze passed by the two women as Asha stared at her. She opened and closed her mouth, 15 years worth of questions, anger, and frustration rising to the surface but Asha wasn't able to put any of it into words.

She settled on saying, "'The gifted?' That sounds like the Jabari?" It didn't feel sufficient but she was still gathering her thoughts.

"Yes, on this Hanuman and I agree. He calls them the Chosen, I call them gifts but they are all the same. All chosen... all gifts to Wakanda, especially now since your brother has reunited all the tribes. It just seems, unfortunately, that my people have yet to catch on as the Jabari did. But I am hoping the Jabari can lead them on that path of understanding. Your father was a particularly tough subject, clearly my plan to humble him with a gifted child did little to help him see the light. I am always right, people believe. But even once a century or two, I get it wrong."

"Doesn't sound like much of a gift," Asha muttered to herself, upon processing the idea that her life was nothing more than a pawn in Bast's master plan. Asha suddenly felt angry, anger that felt like it appeared out of nowhere all of a sudden. But really, it had been building, boiling below the surface for 15 years.

"What was that child?" The tone of Bast's voice signaled that she was not asking because she had not heard. She just wanted Asha to say it out loud.

Asha drew herself to full height, standing tall before her goddess, anger still steadily rising. "I said it doesn't sound like much of a gift... to have your existence used as a pawn in someone else's life. I endured years of pain and abuse for what? My father left this world hating mutants just as much as he did before he had me. You are Bast… all mighty and all powerful and you couldn't humble him a different way? Dangling my life in the balance was the only way? Is that what you want me to believe?"

"I leave my people to make their own choices. I give the signs, I give the lessons, sometimes I give explicit instructions... it is your choice to follow them. Your father chose many times not to follow, did not recognize the signs or actively chose to ignore them. I realized quickly that there was little I could do for a man like that."

That isn't good enough, Asha thought angrily to herself. But she didn't respond, she just turned her head away from Bast, frustration clear and evident. She turned to find that damned panther still staring at her, and somehow it made her even more angry so she looked up at the sky, hoping its beauty would calm her. But it didn't.

"Your life was never in the balance. You grew up strong and powerful, as I intended," Bast added, breaking the silence between them. "I was always here for you but I thought you had forgotten me... you stopped praying."

And with that simple phrase, Asha snapped. She scoffed loudly as her anger boiled over, "'I stopped praying??' I prayed to you every day for years. I begged and begged, pleaded and cried for you to take this gift back. I begged to be normal. Were those prayers not loud enough? Were the sobs and agony of one of your gifts not loud enough to earn an audience?"

"And you weren't there! I stopped praying because you weren't answering, or giving any indication that you heard me at all! Is this what you intended? I mean, look at me! Look at my life!" Asha yelled exasperated as she paced by the tree, ranting angrily. "My mother hates me, my father went to his grave hating me, the only real family I have are T'Challa and Shuri, I am not connected to my home or country in any real way, and I have spent my whole life lying and hiding."

Asha roughly wiped the tears before adding, "A-and to top it off, I have a man back there who I am madly in love with that I don't deserve," a small sob escaped her lips. "That I can't be with because of things I didn't ask for. Because of you! Because of this life you forced upon me… This life that you call a gift but has been nothing but a curse for the last 15 years. A-a-and you call me here and what? Expect me to thank you for it? You call me here after 15 years of misery, 15 years of watching my life fall apart and you say it is what you intended?? This is NOT a gift!" She shouted, her voice startling a few panthers in the trees.

Asha's chest heaved slightly as she tried to calm herself after unloading years of pent-up anger onto Bast. She couldn't help but blame Bast for every bad thing in her life right now, after all she just told her that she orchestrated it all. All that pain, all that tragedy she flew away from, she laid it at Bast's feet. She didn't know why or what she expected in return.

"I do not expect you to not be angry with me, child. Your anger is fair. But where you see a life of darkness, I see one overflowing with potential.” Bast’s eyes were filled with understanding, despite just being yelled at. “But you are tired. And I understand that too."

Asha nodded, she was tired. That was how she felt, simply exhausted. Life... her life was too much work right now. She looked around, the soft swaying trees, the serene violet sky, the peace. There was such peace here, there were no powers here. Asha craved for it.

"You could just... you could just stay here," Asha whispered to herself.

"This place is not for you. You have many years ahead," Bast answered, voice matter-of-fact and clear.

"Why not?" Asha asked, now considering the notion seriously. "Y-You get to choose right?? That's what we are taught, what all the stories say? Well, then choose to let me stay!"

"No." Bast answered again. "You have a job to do. You cannot do it here."

"Fine, send me back, but take my powers. I do not want them." Asha began to bargain. In her mind, Bast owed her something, owed her what she asked. If she couldn't stay here, she could bring one aspect of this peace back with her. She could finally get Bast to do the one thing she had begged her to do her whole life. She can set her free.

"No, you were chosen. Wakanda needs you, as you are today."

"You have my brother! He is the protector of Wakanda. Whatever job you need to do, he can do it!"

"Your brother is not enough. For centuries, the Black Panther has been enough. But your father made terrible mistakes, mistakes that have altered the future of Wakanda. And your brother, rightfully, has opened Wakanda's borders. With it, new dangers unlike any we have ever seen will come. He needs you. Wakanda needs you."

"No... no!" Asha cried out in frustration, falling to her knees before her goddess. She hunched forward as her hands grasped the ground in front of her, her nails digging into the soil. She wondered if Bast thought this was amusing, how quickly her anger turned to desperation. "I cannot do this. I asked you for years and you ignored me. Listen to me now, please. I am begging you. I d-don't want this anymore. P-please." Asha's voice broke as she sobbed on the ground before Bast. She imagined she looked as pitiful as she sounded.

"Stand up, Asha Udaka," Bast commanded from above her. "You are a gift. You were made from me, my children do not kneel or grovel at my feet."

Asha steadied her breathing, stopped her silent sobbing as best she could, before standing before Bast once more. "Do you know why you have never made it past the flames before? Because you are so terrified of who you are. Instead of accepting them, accepting the fire and all that comes with it as part of you, you shun it, you run from it, you hide from it. And you are right, with a life like that, you will never be happy. You will always be afraid, you will always be running, you will always be living with the constant fear of being burned. You will always be tired."

Bast took a step toward her before continuing, "Or... you could make the choice to do something different. The life your father promised you is not the life you must have. Perhaps the role you believed you were going to have in Wakanda is not the role you are destined for. It will be hard, I will not tell you otherwise. Going back is hard. There are very few on Earth whose lives aren't exhausting, that is the burden... the sacrifice paid for breath pumping through your veins. But it will be worth it, it is always worth it."

Asha looked around, everywhere but at the woman in front of her, unsure of what to say. Was it that easy? Trusting her, having faith in her after feeling forsaken and forgotten for so long?

Bast's hand cupped Asha's cheek gently, wiping away the tears that still streamed silently down her face. "You could stay here. Truthfully, it is not my choice, it is yours. I will not stop you... Your brother had to make the same difficult choice not too long ago. He is destined to be the best of them, the man to lead my people to new heights. He returned home because there was work to be done. I believe he is better for it. I believe you will be better for it as well."

"How? What can I offer Wakanda? Or anyone like this?” she gestured to herself, imaging what her emotionally-broken form looked like to Bast. “Half of the country hates me, half of my family hates me. My brother had a role - King. I have nothing but powers that most of the country would rather me not use."

"That is far from true, my child. You have everything, everything you need already. You are rare... destined to be the best of them, I know this. And the path to that power hasn't been easy. You can hate me for it but this was the path you needed, this is what Wakanda needs. You have the power no other gift has had, power to do things the normal hand would not dare dream of - the power to undo atrocities and build lasting bridges all across Wakanda. You are rare... destined to be the best of them. I know this because I willed it. You just have to learn to love it, for all its beauty and terror. And then use it to save my people, save Wakanda's future. And then, you may find that giving and receiving love from others, and knowing you deserve it, is far simpler than before."

Bast squeezed her hands tightly. Asha didn't know what future she could save, what she could do for Wakanda. But as she stared around at the panthers and the Ancestral Plane, she knew one thing for certain - she couldn't stay here.

A small whimper next to her caught her attention. The black panther in the tree next to them was no longer just staring at Asha, it was sitting up as if it sensed her soul was about to leave. It almost looked like the idea pained it. As Asha stared at it, she realized that something about it seemed oddly familiar. She knew this didn't make sense, she had never seen a real panther in her life to remember one. But she could not help but think this one seemed to know her. She suddenly remembered what her brother told her after his visit here. He was there.

I wonder... she started to think, taking a step toward the tree, when Bast squeezed her hand again, stopping her movements. "It is time to go now, Asha. I fear we are sending you home with more questions than answers. But you will see me again when you have done what you are destined to do. Then you will get those new answers you seek, understand?"

Asha gave the panther one last look of longing, knowing whose soul inhabited it, wanting nothing more than the same opportunity to talk to him as she just had with Bast. But she knew this was all in Bast's plan so she answered, "Yes," before turning away from the panther for the last time.

Bast opened her arms wide and Asha tentatively walked into them, immediately leaning into the hug as she felt warmth and safety she hadn't felt in ages rushing through her. Bast smiled and whispered, "You know... I must hand it to myself. The Golden Trio... you all are the rarest flowers in my garden. Brilliant, capable and meant to help us in such different ways. You are the three pillars on which the progress of Wakanda will stand upon. In the absence of one, she would fall. It is a heavy burden I ask of you and cruel that I should ask it without offering any guidance. But like all my gifts, you must walk it alone. Right the wrongs, protect our future. And then we will speak again. Goodbye until then Princess Asha."

*****

Asha's eyes fluttered open, blinking profusely to adjust to the dim light surrounding her. Her head fell to the side as she laid there, recognizing the space as her bedroom in the palace. . She shifted beneath her deep red duvet cover, an audible groan escaping from the pain radiating through her body. Asha couldn't think of a time her body felt such extreme pain like this, feeling like she was just flung and subsequently trampled by a border tribe rhino. But she knew she had little space to complain. The fact that she was alive was a gift from Bast, that fall should have ended her life.

Bast... her meeting with the Panther Goddess was fresh in her mind. It felt more like a dream, except she remembered it so clearly, so vividly. Usually dreams disappeared from her memory within seconds of waking up. But this seemed to be burned into her brain, like Bast wouldn't let her forget a second of it.

She started to sit up, deciding to find her family and apologize for her impromptu escape when a soft but firm hand stopped her movements. "Lay back down, Asha. You need to rest."

Her heart leaped into her throat as she heard his voice. She looked up and saw him sitting on the edge of her bed. She didn't understand how she missed him, he seemed too big for her space. But she supposed she was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. "M'Baku?"

A small but distinct smile fell on his face as he heard the relief in her voice, there was no hiding it. He squeezed her hand, the pair simply staring at each other as he helped her ease back onto the pillows beneath her back. She stared at him, happy but extremely confused.

"W-what are you doing here?"

His hands left her shoulders, rubbing up and down her arms in a comforting fashion. She appreciated the warmth of his hands, helping her realize how cold she was. She felt like her body would never be warm again.

"I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Um... Let me get you some water yes? Stay here." Asha took in his nervousness, the anxiety in his voice. He was clearly trying to find busy work, something to do that was not simply staring at her or having the difficult conversation looming over him like a dark cloud. She watched him grab the water pitcher in the sitting area of her quarters. She stared around her, the profound desire to get up coursing through her. She just wanted to sit on the couch and talk to him, not lay in her bed like a patient. She swung her legs out of bed, ignoring the exhaustion and pain it caused to do such a little task. However, she would soon learn to regret that decision as she pushed off the bed to stand. The moment her legs took on her full weight, they turned to jelly. She crumbled back to the ground, with a soft thud.

"Asha!" He ran back over to her, forgetting her water. "What do you need?"

Asha tried to stabilize her breathing to talk, but nothing would come out. She had been so preoccupied, so trapped in her own thoughts that this was the first moment she actually registered how exhausted she felt. As if she could visualize it in her mind, she could see her internal tank empty, something that had never happened in her life. Panic settled as her eyes moved wildly around her room, trying to understand what she needed in this unforeseeable scenario. Her eyes fell on the raging fire in her sitting area. Was it that easy? she asked herself as she stared at the flames dancing in the fireplace. Her intense staring and look of longing did not go unnoticed by her companion. He picked her up bridal style, the young princess too tired to even be excited by being in his arms, and sat her as close as humanly possible to the fire without sticking her body in it. She hesitated for a moment, knowing it was crazy. But the flames seemed to call out for her, beg for her, growing taller and wilder as she watched them. She reached her hand out into the fire, the warmth immediately washing over her like someone basking in sunlight. She held her hand there, eyes closed, as her body soaked up all the fire in the hearth. Warmth spread through her arm and into every area of her body until she could feel it in every finger and toe, finally feeling full again. The price of her resurgence was the loss of fire in her room but she didn't feel as though she needed it now. She was not at 100%... she knew it would take some time to get back where she was. But this felt good.

"Better?" M'Baku asked softly from behind her, a comforting hand still on her back. He figured it worked, instead of deathly cold, he could feel the warmth circulating beneath her skin now. It wasn't as powerful as once before but it was there.

"Much. Not 100% but close. T-thank you."

He picked her back up and carried her back to bed. Once she was settled, he sat down on the side of the bed next to her.

"You gave us quite a scare. Flying away like that. On your third try? You could have died."

"Flying is the only way to escape a brother with super speed. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of nowhere and couldn't hold myself up any longer. I didn't mean to scare anyone.”

“You could have died, Asha,” he lectured. His words fell on her ears like a parent scolding a child instead of like a… she still didn’t know what they were.

“No one would have cared,” she mumbled under her breath. She couldn’t even stop herself from letting it slip but as soon as it did, she wished she had. The hurt on his face was clear.

"The King, Shuri, Nakia and the Dora care about you deeply Asha."

"Are they the only ones?" She asked softly.

M'Baku bowed his head, avoiding her expectant stare as he thought of a response. He cared about her, deeply so. But was now the time to have this conversation? After she almost died? He supposed it was foolish to back down now. This was what he wanted this whole time, to express his feelings. But now that it was here? He wished he had a few more days to get his thoughts together.

"No, not just them. There are some that care about you more than you know, more than you will let them show you."

It was Asha's turn to avoid his stare, his expectant look. She was in love with him, there was no secret about that. But 12 hours ago, there were so many barriers in their way. Now those barriers turned to wreckage and recycled into new barriers. They were different, but how different if she still felt unable to commit to him and this?

"The woman you want... she is not who I am always M'Baku. If this day hasn't shown you. You watched her attack me a-a-and I just sat there. I surrendered so easily like a c-coward. I- is that the woman you want? Truly?"

"Asha, stop. You are that woman, I see her every time I look at you. What other woman could have survived what you survived tonight? You are strong, you are deserving. You just have to believe it."

She nodded softly, looking out the window of her bedroom, confused and struggling. Her mind like she was standing in the Great Mound, watching hundreds of trains whiz by her and she could not grab hold of any of them. So many thoughts, so many tracks moving in different directions. Here she was again, standing at the crossroads of what she wanted to have, what reality dictated she must have, and what the world deemed her worthy of having. There was not a fiber of her being that didn't want M'Baku, but did she truly feel she deserved him? Bast told her she did… everyone told her she did… but did any other opinions matter if she still felt unworthy?

And this being the first moment, she really considered the possibility of being with him and its implications, would the Jabari even accept her? Many of them did not want to rejoin Wakanda in the first place? How would they feel if their chief married a lowlander? How would the Wakandans feel if their princess married a Jabari? That was a bridge the two tribes hadn’t been crossed once in history.

Beyond that, it was difficult to focus on sorting out her feelings for M'Baku when she knew her tribe was at risk, all because of her. She was surrounded by the very real reality that Elder Shani was trying to tear their house down. Her engagement was off, of that she was sure. Why would she uphold the end of the bargain when Shani figuratively set their deal on fire? But did that mean she was relieved of her obligation? Does that mean after giving her the ammunition to tear their world apart, Asha could just escape to Jabariland and live a different life? She was still the princess, after all. Her obligations to marry were gone but her obligations to her family, to the throne, to her people were very much present.

And then there was Bast. Apparently, there was work to be done. Could that work be done from Jabariland? Or did she have to stay here? What future did she have to protect? How does one even begin to learn to love themselves or powers they have been conditioned to hate? She wished she had more time to ask Bast questions as a million tumbled through her mind right now. Now, she just felt like she wasted the short audience Bast gave her ranting like a child. The goddess wasn't wrong - it was cruel to ask her to do whatever job she needed doing with no guidance, no direction. She wasn't equipped for this... any of it.

"Asha." M'Baku saw it clearly in her face, she was drowning, unsure of what to do, her confusion and concern etched into her face. She looked older, more tired and weary than he had ever seen her. Like in one day, she lived a thousand lives. He knew that look, saw it on his own face a million times as chief. He knew what it looked like to carry the weight of the world and he also knew how grateful he was to the people in his life who forced him to lay that weight down, who gave him a break for a moment. He just wanted to help her do the same. "How about we do this? We deal with the big questions tomorrow. And tonight, we just be. No big questions, no overthinking,” he gently tapped her head, causing her face to scrunch up and the first genuine smile he had seen all night grace her face. “No decisions, no complications. We just rest."

Asha's heart immediately felt lighter with his permission not to think for a moment, his permission to lay her baggage down and rest her arms for a while. It would do her a world of good, she knew that. She nodded, smiling at him. "Let's just be. Sounds like a plan to me."

M'Baku leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, Asha's body heating up at his touch. He looked at her for a moment before getting up from the bed, "I will take the couc-"

A small hand grabbed his, tugging him back. Her dark brown eyes looked up with him, unspoken pleads clear and on the tip of her tongue. "Stay. I want you to stay."

Her meaning was clear, but M'Baku searched her face for confirmation. There were no reservations, no doubts. He rounded to the other side of the bed and slid in. She immediately nestled into his side, attracted to him like a magnet.

"I would care," he whispered as she laid on his bare chest, her small frame dwarfed by his. He didn't hear a response but soon, he felt the unmistakable wetness of tears and knew she heard him.

"T-thank you," she whispered back, throat tight as she tried to keep her emotions in. He kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes, another eventful day behind them and the start of something beautiful ahead.

****

Tags: @destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @missmohnique @jellybean531 @afrolatinpami @leahnicole1219 @archivistofwakanda

#Black Writers #black panther fanfiction #black panther imagines #black panther fics #m'baku x reader #m'baku x oc #m'baku smut

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