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onyx-archer · 4 months ago

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So... Let's Talk About THAT

I want to start this by saying that I haven't purchased Double Exposure, and I have no plans on doing so because of what this post is about. I know very little about the game, but I do know about the Chloe stuff. That was the one thing I wanted to know about going into the game before I committed to a purchase. Not specifically because of a ship or whatever (though that's certainly a factor), but how they go about justifying Chloe not being in the Double Exposure.

I say that because I knew, based on the marketing for the game being as cagey as it is in regards to Chloe. I knew there'd be some kind of justification to not have her around, because how else are they going to make the game's story work with both endings being "respected." And that's the key word here: respect.

Normally, I'd at least abide by my spoiler policy, where I would mark spoilers for stuff that's super new for like, a month. However, because of what this entails, I really can't be nice enough to do that, as everything I've seen has genuinely made me go "how is this 'respecting' the player's choice from LiS1?!"

Under the cut, there will be spoilers for Life Is Strange as a series. As I write this sentence, I don't know how much I'll go into it, so be warned. I know Double Exposure isn't even fully out, but man, I have a lot to say about this ONE THING in it that has me annoyed to no end.

So... in Double Exposure, the one thing a lot of fans of the first game were wondering was "why is Chloe not in the game?" Some were hopeful that she would be, but realistically, there was no way that was possible without the game's budget being higher. At best, we'd get some new voice lines, but that's about it. Why? Because Deck Nine wanted to "respect" the ending of LiS1 for the players who chose the "Bay" ending. Chloe, in case y'all forgot, fucking DIES in that ending, so she'd, at best, get a cameo appearance in the game where Max returns unless it was decided that the game was set in a timeline where Chloe survived.

It is very clear to me from the jump that unless they made that choice, they'd not have Chloe be around. It was likely that they'd make it so the pair broke up in some capacity (be it as friends or lovers, it didn't really matter), and as much as I didn't want that aspect to be true, it ended up actually being the case. As a fan of Pricefield, this sucks, but as a person who understood from the start that the game would have to find a way to dodge the issue of Chloe in some capacity to tell the story Deck Nine wanted to tell, I could accept it. So long as the way they did so was respectful to the original vision of the characters in some capacity.

And because I'm writing this post at all, it's pretty obvious that isn't what happened.

I want to be perfectly clear when I say that the break up, conceptually, makes sense as a mechanism for a story about Max. In my mind, it would make sense that Max and Chloe's relationship would have some bumps caused by the sheer amount of trauma Max endured during the tail end of LiS1. Finding out that a person you looked up to (Jefferson) was a total psycho who was obsessed with you and likely would have tried something worse than just taking gross pictures of you would leave a person pretty fucking messed up for years. Add onto that the fact that she basically had to do the trolly problem in real life, with the choices being her hometown and it's entire population... or a person she loves so much she couldn't imagine living without them (be it as a friend, or as more than that)... and you'd probably have a therapy bill the size of the Olympus Mons before you started feeling "relatively normal" again.

In a world where the people who were writing the game were better at their jobs, at least in this capacity, they'd look at that, and see how it'd affect a relationship. Max being unable to properly move on, with the only person she can reliably talk to about it being someone she very much wouldn't want to trauma dump on (since you can't exactly tell a shrink that you had time travelled so much that you caused a titanic sized waterspout to level an entire costal town without getting institutionalized), given that said person is likely grappling with a lot of shit themselves (survivor's guilt, for one)... yeah a break up of some kind, even if only a temporary one, is kind of inevitable. Time apart might be something you both need to properly heal.

This would also allow the story to at least try to deal with Max's trauma in a way that is comparable in scope based on both decisions, and it would make sense. If Max were the one to break off the relationship, citing a need to have some time apart to get her head on straight (metaphorically speaking, we all know she ain't straight), it'd make sense that said choice could blow up in her face and leave her a bit emotionally frazzled. Chloe is a person who very obvious abandonment issues, so a decision like that from Max, even if it was only for a while, would likely lead to a much more stressful situation, regardless of how close they are.

This, in turn, would allow the "Bay" ending to be about Max not being able to get over her choice to functionally kill her own best friend, and all of the things she never got to say. The grief being something she struggles with for a decade (or however long it is between LiS1 and DE) would make sense. It'd be in character. Max is a character who is indecisive, and is prone to fussing over mistakes she feels she makes, especially with Chloe. She buries those kinds of feelings in a box until she's forced to confront them. Then she tries to over compensate for her shortcomings. We know she does this because she immediately jumps to help Chloe look for Rachel at the first real chance she gets as a way for her to at least sort of make up for the 5 years of basically no contact. Yeah, there are other reasons she does this, but it can be pretty easily inferred that Max, since Max's whole power allows her to go back in time, which is, in theory, the ultimate way to fix your past mistakes.

I'd be fine if the breakup was purely Max running from a problem she doesn't want to properly deal with. With her being reminded of her choice that killed hundreds of people for one person, even if that person means everything to her. Some people crumple under less, and Max is very much an insecure person, so she'd crumple like a wet napkin eventually.

They could have very easily made a core part of the game Max learning to let go of that part of her past, to finally make peace with her choice. You could even have it be a case where her powers leave her for good, with some kind of, I dunno, storm of butterflies (which I feel could very easily serve as a symbol of Max connection to Chloe, and not as just a symbol for Chloe exclusively). Regardless of the Bae or Bay choice, having her powers literally fly away would also be a way of saying that she's finally "grown up," and that her burdens have been eased, with them flying away with her powers. The guilt? Yeah, there'd always be a little, that shit never goes away, but she'd no longer wallow in it. The trauma? She'd be able to accept it as a thing that happened, and move on in a more healthy way.

If Chloe and her were a couple, maybe she'd end the game with a phone call, reaching out to Chloe in an effort to repair their relationship, to say that she's "done living in the past." She could literally say something like "I'm done rewinding, I'm just going to look to the future, and leave the past where it is." We'd probably all cheer at that kind of sappy bullshit. It'd be sapphic as hell, and it'd be awesome.

But no. That's too nice a thought. Deck Nine had other plans.

In the game, as it is now, there is a distinct problem with the breakup working, and that's the way it happens. In Double Exposure (at least up to Episode 2, as that's all that's currently available), the game is quick to brush aside the idea that Max and Chloe were ever really a thing, and wants the player to go right into being interested in having Max romance the New characters that Deck Nine made for the game! Why'd they break up? Because Chloe is afraid that Max is using her rewind powers (which she supposedly hasn't since Blackwell), and that, because of those powers, she's always going to be living in the past. That she, Chloe fucking Price, just wants to be a free spirit and live for the future, and that, "as much as it hurts," that might be a future without Max in it.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

Chloe Price, the bony sack of trauma, cigarette smoke, and well documented abandonment issues, is the one breaking off a relationship? Are you serious? You gotta be fucking with me Deck Nine! You wrote a whole ass game about this character, and my opinion of that game aside (I think Before the Storm is dogshit btw), you still miss one of the core aspects of Chloe's whole character? How do you miss the point by this much?

And then... a self-proclaimed former staff member at Deck Nine spoke up on Reddit... said some stuff, and it all started to make sense.

See, Deck Nine has, at least somewhat recently, come under fire for their dogshit working conditions. There were several articles showcasing how toxic that place was to work for a number of reasons by several publications. The writing was on the wall, but a lot of people, myself included, tried to not see it, and just be hopeful for a new LiS game. While I really don't like BtS, I very much enjoyed True Colors, so I was at least a little optimistic.

However, if that supposed former employee is to be believed in any capacity (we can at least say they likely are a former employee, as another former employee basically called them out on Twitter for trying to start a hate brigade... even though they didn't), then Double Exposure was doomed from the start. The creative leads on the project, allegedly, HATE Chloe, and would shoot down ideas that would be more respectful of her in All Hands On Deck (Nine) meetings, even though they asked for ideas due to how they wrote themselves into a bloody corner whilst working on the game the way they did.

Then there's the fact that supposedly some people at the publisher dislike Chloe because they feel that Ashly Burch shit on Before the Storm post-launch (which she didn't, btw), despite her working on a game that replaced her voice with another actress due to a strike. They hired a "scab" to voice the characters, and that might have upset Ashly, a union member. Fair enough. But apparently some people didn't like Rhianna DeVries, which the publisher heard, and said "don't bring her back for any big appearances" or something? So they aren't going to recast again, they aren't going to bring back Ashly for petty reasons, and they aren't going to even bring Rhianna back again (she had a small voice role in True Color's Wavelengths DLC), even though most people are fine with her? Hell, I think she's a damn highlight in the cast for BtS, and I hate that game.

Then I got to thinking: is there evidence that Deck Nine hates Chloe, despite working on Before the Storm? Short answer: I think so, yeah. Long answer? Well...

One thing that is notable about Before the Storm, at least from my perspective, is that said game did a pretty middling job with characters that were introduced in the original game, despite being a prequel. Nathan is nothing like how he is in LiS1, nor is David. Rachel doesn't even remotely come off as the kind of character that people would talk about the way they do in LiS1 after she goes missing (what with her being a big Laura Palmer parallel and all). Fuck, they made Victoria willing to roofie someone to get ahead, which a lot of people called out as tone deaf as hell given what happens to her in LiS1.

But in that same breath, the game introduces a handful of new, Deck Nine original characters, and that's clearly where the effort was. Some were better than others, of course, Samantha was largely pointless and amounted to nothing, Rachel's Parents are just not well written, and Damon is such a bland attempt at a villain... Don't even get me started on the Elliot Rogers looking ass character that shares a first name with that whackjob.

But you wanna know who Deck Nine really likes? Steph Gingrich. And you know what, so do I. I like Steph a lot. She's like, the best thing to come out of that game. But when you pull back and analyze who Steph is, something notable stands out: she's basically Deck Nine's take on "what if Chloe wasn't a bitchy bitch?"

Think about it: Steph is a queer girl wearing a beanie (Chloe's basic aesthetic), enjoys nerdy stuff and Blade Runner (Chloe, even before joining their D&D sessions, was a closet weeb back before she lost her dad), is into punk rock (so much so that she forms a punk band, Drugstore Makeup, with a former girlfriend), likes to smoke weed (to be fair, a lot of characters in LiS do), and even gets a healthy dose of trauma from the storm killing her own mom, or losing two very close friends, one of which is the same person Chloe lost (this is more a Max parallel, but you get it). She even has a pretty distinct "voice" in how she talks that most people can pick out of a crowd pretty easily (which, to be fair, isn't hard, since True Colors has a very muted cast in this respect). Hell, she can even romantically end up with a bisexual with super powers! She's literally just "what if Chloe was more of a nerd and less of an asshole."

This isn't to shit on Steph at all, again, I love Steph, she's great. I'm not even mad about the obvious parallels between her and Chloe. They were friends, of course aspects of them are going to be similar. But when you take those things into consideration when reading that Deck Nine supposedly hates Chloe... and you see how hard the series has pushed Steph (Steph has her own DLC story, a full ass novel about stuff she did between her two appearances, and a comic where she and Alex act as the cool lesbian surrogate parents to a runaway girl with powers), you can sort of pick up on some subliminal parallels. It's hard not to when Deck Nine has a clear bias for a character they made, and how they dislike a character they didn't, despite the overlap.

I could just be reaching, but when I put the pieces in front of me in the context of "Deck Nine hates Chloe" it just adds up. It's kind of hard not to think Deck Nine does hate Chloe, given that before we even find out the specifics of the break up, they have Safi ask Max if she's interested in the new female love interest the devs cooked up immediately after Max tries to basically shut down the conversation about why she and Chloe broke up. Even in the context of Chloe dying, it's clear what they're doing here, and it's not even remotely subtle.

Even if a lot of this is just bullshit, it's clear that Deck Nine had no real intention of "respecting" anything. Why? Because Double Exposure very clearly wants to operate under the pretense that you chose to Sacrifice Chloe. It's the only way the game really works in anyway that's even remotely "respectful" to any fans. The fact that they rejected the premise of DE being set in a timeline where Chloe was definitively DEAD, even though members of the team suggested that should be how they approached this game's story, says that they had no real intention of respecting the integrity of the choice LiS1 players made. Regardless of the reasons why they did this, respect is NOT one of those reasons. They had a story they wanted to tell, but forced themselves to try and fit the square peg into the round hole.

This game already decided to not respect the original creators at Don't Nod by having it be about Max, when they said Max and Chloe's stories were "done." I get it, that's a decision they likely didn't make themselves... but they could have at least tried harder to respect the characters they were given to make a story about a little more.

For all I know, the remaining 3 Episodes of Double Exposure may allow the player to have Max and Chloe reconcile at the end if you don't romance any of the new characters. Maybe that's an ending, and I'm mad for basically just bad writing... but I nevertheless won't be supporting this game with my money as things currently stand.

#life is strange #Double Exposure #Life Is Strange Double Exposure #LiS #LiSDE #LiS DE #LiS DE Spoilers #Spoilers #Double Exposure Spoilers #Pricefield #Life is Strange Spoilers #We're talking about THAT #Deck Nine #Rant #Essay

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atarathegreat · 1 year ago

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They Come Home Late Tokyo Revengers

ft: Shinichiro Sano, Kazushi Yamagishi, Takuya Yamamoto,

No one likes to work late, unless you're Shinichiro, but canonically he don't get bitches soooo

Call it a nuisance all you want, Shinichiro would argue that it was just another day at the shop. That man would spend hours upon hours in his shop, or rather, the garage attached to it. You never really understood why it was all important to Shin, you just knew it was. He loved fixing what was broken and what was better for a biker mechanic to fix than a bike? Nothing, if you asked the eldest Sano boy. He was bound and determined to make any and everything work the right way the first time. Yet, like a curse, any Sano could never have something they loved without a catch, a cruel take from the universe for the give Shinichiro received. Sometimes he spent so much time in his shop, or garage, or on his own bike that he rarely got to see you conscious. He always arrived home well after you'd gone to bed, and that's the thought that plagued him as he ate his cold dinner. It had no doubt been warm when you'd placed it in the oven, but now it was cold, and Shinichiro couldn't bring himself to risk the beeping microwave waking you. You worked just as hard as he did, if not more, and he didn't want to be a factor to your fatigue. He stayed against the counter for only a moment longer, finishing his cigarette butt before tossing it in a cup of water. You'd scold him for the mess and he'd clean it with a smile, as was routine. Shinichiro tried to manage staying at your place and at his grandfather's with his siblings, but he hated it when he didn't get to see you. Something about the decor in your home made him feel better after a long day, the muted, yet somehow bright, colors hanging over your windows and the old, shaggy, puke green carpet in your living room was always something soft for him to nap on. As tempting as the living room floor was, Shinichiro made a b-line for your bedroom. He cursed quietly as the door creaked open, letting his eyes adjust to the pitch black that swallowed everything past the doorway. He stumbled forward, hands outstretched to touch your dresser or the hope chest at the foot of your bed that he always managed to find with his abused pinky toe. A low bang echoed through your room, Shin doubling over into the stupid wooden box as his toes once again made sure he wouldn't slam his knees into it. "Hello?" Groggy was the best sound on you, if only he wasn't sucking in deep, pain filled breaths. "Jus' me, hon. Fuck, I kicked the damn oversized shoebox again." Thumps followed his words as he crawled over the chest and into your bed. Your tired giggles almost made him question why he chose to spend so much time with the bikes. Almost. You rolled onto your back as Shinichiro crawled over you, twisting the blanket around and forcing you to shuffle until you were comfortable underneath him. "How's the shop doin'?" A heavy yawn pried your jaw apart. The last thing he wanted to talk about with you was the shop, the last thing he cared about at the moment was the shop. So he didn't answer you, and kept you from asking anything else by kissing you. Muscles shivered as your fingertips grazed Shinichiro's skin, coming to rest behind his ears and over the hinge of his jaw. "M'sorry I been absent." Shinichiro panted softly as he pushed himself up again, flopping on the bed next to you, "I've got a day off comin' up, if ya' wanna spend it with me, Mikey, and Emma."

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It never seemed to be enough. No matter how much work he did, how dirty his hands got, Yamagishi wasn't ever given the break he deserved. Takemichi was even being a prick, more often than not screaming about how Yamagishi and the others couldn't do their jobs right in any capacity. He'd taken more than enough abuse from his best friend turned boss, even Takuya was getting tired of the act. There wasn't anything the group could do right anymore, and they knew it. Yamagishi growled and slammed the radio volume to zero, more pissed than anything that his childhood friends were suffering and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. It made him even more angry to think harder on it: he didn't get his ass handed to him time after time, right next to Takemichi, for Michi to be the one hurting them all now. A part of Yamagishi always knew that gangs were never fun and games, but now that he was a higher ranking thug, he truly understood it. There always seemed to be a scowl transfixed on the man's face, but it became a deep, deep grimace as he pulled into the driveway of his too big house that he'd bought when he was drunk and now couldn't get rid of. You enjoyed it, it seemed. When you first moved in you had been more than excited to explore every damn room. Yamagishi's lip quirked upward, not quite a smile, at the memory as he failed to notice you watching him from the window. As he opened the door he couldn't help but think that you looked like a dog. Sitting on the couch with such hopeful eyes, waiting for him to give the signal that you could bombard him with affections as your hands did giddy little dances in your lap. Yeah, a dog. "Sorry, babe, not right now." Yamagishi sighed, walking past you and toward the kitchen. It was routine, after a few aggravated nights of him storming out because you failed to notice that he couldn't take much more emotion in the day. Of course, the second he was calmed from his day, Yamagishi would leave a lingering kiss on your hand, almost as an unspoken incantation that hauled you into his form with smiles, kisses, hugs, and multiple questions of his day. So instead you nodded and followed behind him into the kitchen. You weren't a golden retriever, that much was evident. Yamagishi pushed his glasses up so he could see you from the corner of his eye, "Are you in just one of my shirts?" He watched as your little hands grabbed the hem and pulled it down with a faint "yeah." A sigh tumbled from his lips and to the floor, thick enough you could probably kick it back up to his face, "C'mere." He liked your slow steps, unsure of if he was giving you permission to touch him, or if it was just a him moment. "Up ya' go." Yamagishi grunted, plopping you onto the counter, "Thought I told you not to wait up for me?" You complied easily as he pulled his shirt off you, revealing your naked body and underwear, "You did..." He sighed again, a more agitated sound, "Then why are you down here and not upstairs in bed?" No words so much as dared enter your throat, and Yamagishi didn't break eye contact as he dropped his coat next to you on the counter, his shirt following but looping over your head. It smelled of sweat, his cologne, and the coffee from the café he visited every morning with Makato and Takuya, it was hard to resist the deep breath you took. "Answer me." He helped your arms through the fabric, his fingers staying at your elbows. "Couldn't sleep. It felt wrong to pass out without seeing you first." And it was the truth. You had a routine down pat, and smothering Yamagishi with all the love he could emotionally handle was part of it. Yamagishi would say you were a smaller breed of dog, something clingy, like a Chihuahua and Dotson mix. His hair fell over his shoulder as he nodded and leaned forward to grab the whiskey from the shelf behind you, "Sorry 'bout it. But I can't change it." Whiskey poured swiftly into a glass, the amber liquid swishing as Yamagishi raised it to his lips, "M'really, really sorry. I wish I could change it." He placed a a chaste kiss to your cheek.

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Takuya was tired and sore from weeks of sleeping in safehouses, empty warehouses, and Makato's couch. He took a moment to examine the new look, making triple sure that this was the apartment he shared with you. The curtains were new, not sunbleached like the old ones you loved so much, and the rug under the coffee table was a completely different texture, the only indication that it was still his home was the pictures you'd hung up of him and you, and the couple of you and your friends. Takuya silently set his duffel bag down, an order you'd given him so that you could make sure his dirty clothes were clean and he had fresh clothes to take with him, and pulled his jacket off to drop on top of it. Waking you at such a late hour would kill him, he thought you needed your beauty rest, even if he missed you like crazy. For the last month he'd been at either Makato's penthouse (such a vain man with money), or at Yamagishi's (who opted to have a simple home with room for him and him alone). As much as Takuya loved his buddies, one didn't have enough room, and the other had small throw blankets with a questionable substance dried onto it that Takuya shuddered just thinking about. He'd be thrilled once he got under the comforter with you, the two of you sharing body heat and curling closely together. Shit. He needed to hurry and get back to you. Clunking echoed down the hall, Takuya cementing that he'd just make it up to you if he woke you up. Though it wasn't something he had to worry about once he saw you sleeping peacefully, laying on your tummy with one leg pulled up, your knee poking free from the blanket. He ghosted his fingers over your exposed skin, not wanting to scare you awake if he just climbed into bed. "My darling, open your eyes for me." His voice was soft, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as your eyelids fluttered open and you had to squint to see, "There you are. Sleeping well without me?" If you hadn't known better, you'd think he was truly upset that you could sleep without his presence. But that's just your Yuya, chuckling as he crawls over you to his side of the new mattress. It's nice, he likes it as he doesn't sink into the plush fabric, "You got a new bed." For a second you falsely think it's a question, but he's only observing. "Mhm, the old one was dirty." No it wasn't, you lying brat, you just didn't want to tell him that you bought it so he'd sleep comfortably. He can sense your lie, but doesn't care too much to debunk it, and he rolls you into him, "Missed you something awful, m'glad to be home." He's got rough hands, a callous built on his thumb from his weapon and a strong grip as he kneads your flesh in his palm. Takuya can't help but notice that you no longer shiver when he glides his finger across your sternum, your body no longer relaxing into his. "What's the problem?" Yuya asks, "Do you still love me?" Such a stupid question, in your mind it should be obvious that you love him. Yeah, the both of you never saw each other in the day time, you always get his bag packed before he wakes up, and save a quick peck on your cheek, you don't even get to tell him goodbye. "Why wouldn't I love you?" You ask, the question sitting wrong in your soul. "You aren't reacting to me..." He mumbled as his fingers dragged up your side again. It felt nice to feel him touch you after so long apart, to look into his eyes and smile as you held his face. It was peaceful. "Not physically." The way you chuckled sent his heart to work, and having you scoot closer was just as thrilling.

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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 4 months ago

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fic writer interview!

totally stealing this from @definitelynotshouting because it looks really fun and I haven't had a chance to yap about my own work in a while!

---<0>---

How many works do you have on AO3?

32! used to be more but I totally deleted some of my old Umbrella Academy fics, sadly - could be around 35 or 36 if I hadn't.

What's your total AO3 word count?

334,360... uh, most of that is from two specific fics haha.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Say You Feel Hollow (and you know it's 'cause you are) (HC/Life Series | 775)

INCOMING MESSAGE - COMM RECORDS (HC | 725)

“Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP | 547)

I Still Feel Alive (when it's hopeless, I start to notice) (Lunch Club | 488)

Let's Call It An Arrangement (HC | 460)

if you remember my lunch club fics no you don't. also kinda surprised to see the range of fics here - some of my older stuff and then some of my newest too!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! the only time I maybe won't is when it's a second or third comment in a thread and I have nothing else to say. even a '<3' comment will get a response. I don't get many comments, so I take the time to respond to them all. also, I share details about the writing process and lore of fics if people ask. so 🔫😐 comment to get secret knowledge. (in the same vein, I always respond to asks here about my fics!)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh, man... I don't tend to leave fics on completely horrific endings in any case, but I would say probably my boatem pirate fic, It's All Part of Being a Pirate (HC). definitely the fic with the least ambiguously horrible fate for just everyone involved.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

uh... it depends on your idea of 'happy', honestly. Trembling Jaws Can't Stop Stuttering (HC) is a gore/cannibalism convexian fic that doubles as polyamory negotiations. a lot of people say they feel quite comforted by it despite the violence, especially because of the hopeful ending, so I suppose that qualifies as happy. on the other hand, my alternate canon fic, “Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP) is ultimately hurt/comfort with a happy(ish) ending, but you have to get through a lot of literal torture and pain first. so... not exactly 'happy'.

Do you write crossovers?

no, but I do come up with ideas for them quite frequently. I'm just not really compelled to actually write them. my favourite universe to put my blorbos into at any given time is the hunger games. I also do get inspired by other media when coming up with my original ideas - there are definitely hints of shows and films I've watched in some of my fics.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not traditionally, but since I write a lot of gore and cannibalism that is quite graphic (and I do properly tag it of course) sometimes I get people commenting that they weren't expecting such graphic violence, or that it disturbed them. which... idk man, read the tags? it doesn't really bother me to get those comments, I usually just remind them that I did tag it all and they chose to click, but I hope they enjoyed regardless.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

my insane AU *ideas* definitely have way more smut in them than my regular fics (which have none). alas, most of those ideas are sealed away in the DMs of my most trusted confidant (you know who you are) and I am way too asexual to actually write it seriously. those ideas also feature more noncon, dubcon, and general abuse trauma than I would be comfortable sharing on my actual account. they are mostly very cathartic ideas that wouldn't get developed into full fics. I do, however, have a post detailing my headcanons for convexian as a trio on the asexual-autistic-cannibalism spectrum. and yes, those three things are inherently linked. that post and the fics that go with it are as explicit as my works get, really. sometimes I will hint at sex / make innuendos in one-off lines, though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope. I've had a few tumblr posts reposted on instagram, but to my knowledge nothing of mine has been outright stolen... sometimes I see people using very similar plots or styles to mine (particularly in the homoerotic cannibalism genre) and go 'haha it would be funny if they were inspired by my fic' but I'm not popular or egotistical enough to be mad about that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope. that would be cool, but I'm in pretty english-centric fandoms right now. my aunt had one of her fics translated into five different languages, so I have a lot to live up to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, but sometimes I will get ideas from other people or they will get ideas from me. @angeart and I have co-written our Ari AU (HC), but that is more of a detailed summary than a fic. also go read it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I mean come on. did you think it wasn't going to be scarian? (but grumbo, convex, and all combinations of those four freaks, are also up there)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

basically all of them. Kingdoms AU (HC) will haunt me forever though.

What are your writing strengths?

like others before me I'm just basing this on the comments I get - I am apparently very good at getting character voices right (which is something I do try particularly hard to do, but I honestly think sometimes I get it all wrong). one of my other strong points is writing both abstractly and very literally, especially with gore. I like weaving together metaphors and similes with more blunt descriptions of the physical senses. it seems to work.

What are your writing weaknesses?

oh baby I am terrible with action scenes. pure action really stumps me, and it's what I struggle with most in my professional writing too. that and consistent characterisation (I think in fic maybe it's a bit less of an issue, people don't *really* care if a character is slightly inconsistent, but I bug myself with it... 'he would NOT say that' is my internal motto) also sometimes I dive way too deep into the internal world and forget about the external - especially when a character has to do something simple like walk down the stairs or some other quite mundane action. then everything becomes quite confusing and loaded in too much metaphor and weirdness, something I noticed the most when re-reading the first chapter of Kingdoms AU.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did it once. badly. I'm monolingual and stupid and my opinion on this is just sort of 'do whatever makes the story flow the best'.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

hamilton. i think. but I had ideas for my little pony and team crafted beforehand that I never wrote because i was, like, 10.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

honestly just wanna write more solo grub (grian x cub). hashtag grub violence.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

one of my least popular fics, and second most recent. Who can really tell? (Life Series) is one of the works that feels the most polished and creatively challenging. perhaps I love it so much because it's unpopular, but I genuinely think my characterisation of listener!bigb was some of my best. it remains amusing to me that its sister fic is my most popular fic by kudos. if you're reading this, perhaps go give it a chance ? 🥺 I also have a huge soft spot for COMMS AU (HC), of course. but it feels unfair to judge an unfinished fic against finished ones.

---<0>---

I don't usually tag people in these sorts of things, but if you wanna give it a go then definitely do! I totally stole the entire formatting and idea from shouting. I will tag @angeart a second time, but no pressure my partner in crime ;D

#ben chats shit on the internet #ill tag the main fandoms for funsies #hermitcraft #hermitshipping #traffic life #traffic smp #hermitblr #trafficblr #trafficshipping #life series #life series smp #tag meme #tag game #mcyt

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aszles · 1 year ago

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csm chapter 120 but in toki pona (first 10 pages)

alright hellooo!!!! this is my first published translation in 2024 i guess!

of course i'm marketing this towards english speakers since i'm not sure if there actually is a part of the csm fandom that speaks toki pona... i hope you'll stick around to see something a little fun and different!

so if you don't know what toki pona is, allow me to explain! ☝️🤓 toki pona is a conlang created by Sonja Lang where the main draw of it is that it has less than 200 words! it sounds like it may be tricky to speak with so few words, but it's surprisingly easy and very fun! i always recommend it to anyone who has a bit of time on their hands and wants to try something new.

here i was mostly trying out gimp for comic translations, and so i translated the first 10 pages of chapter 120! i chose this because... it's silly! also fun fact, the start of this chapter was one of the things that pushed me to read chainsaw man!

ok that's enough preface rambling, let's get on with it!

i think typically the first page should be full sized if it has to, but nayuta peace sign is just so cute..!

alright, if you wanna feel like you're on a date with asa then keep reading to find an english translation and translator's notes! if not... feel free to leave, i hope you eat something nice today! (omekapo!)

semi-literal translation:

yoru: woof! woof! woof!!

nayuta: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! yoru: woof woof! wooof!! denji: Nayuta! what did you do?! nayuta: i turned her into an animal. denji: why?!?! nayuta: because she [kissed] my thing! (here she basically says that yoru interacted with nayuta's thing using her mouth. it's a very vague statement)

denji: i'm not your thing! turn her into a human now!! nayuta: want food! can't! (technically she says "food desire! no ability!") nuh uh! denji: ah?! i'll make food. when you eat turn her into a human!! nayuta: 'kay!

denji: eat and turn her into a human. i'm not joking. nayuta: hey! this is my food! bad! bad!! nayuta: hey... do you really want her humanity? (sounds very weird in english but i'm not sure a better way to put it) denji: what?

nayuta: Denji. every woman tries to kill you, right? why is this animal different? denji: why...? i have a feeling. nayuta: hmmmm.... good. (this is being used as an affirmation similar to "alright" or "very well then") you won't die. okay. i'll turn her into a human.

nayuta: but, two things. if they're not good to you, then she'll be an animal forever. denji: what are they?! nayuta: number one. i can eat ice cream (cold sweet) all the time. denji: i want (it) too. nayuta: number two.

nayuta: don't be nice to her. denji: are you joking?! nayuta: uh, i'm (being) real. this is the best. she's bad to my nose. denji: your nose?

denji: is she like a wet animal? nayuta: weirdo, wet animals are good! anyways, don't be nice to her! i'll change her knowledge... so that to her you didn't come (today)! denji: you'll what?! then she'll hate me!

nayuta: not important. you won't talk to her. denji: ahhh...

denji: you're number one, nayuta...

tadaaaa! there we have it! now time for some translator notes, of which there are actually not a ton.

toki pona is surprisingly difficult to adapt for different kinds of characters. due to having no register, it's hard to make characters seem more punky or polite than normal, and to distinguish between adult and child characters. here particularly we have the issue that, while Nayuta is a child, she's also super smart! so making grammatical mistakes doesn't really seem in line for her character. the main action i took was doubling up "la" with her. this isn't incorrect, but there are more optimal ways to say things to avoid ambiguity. i thought that perhaps a kid wouldn't think ahead with their words as much as an adult would, and may end up with this quirk in their speech.

related to the last note, one possible way of making a character seem younger or less proper is having them use nimisin ("unofficial" community made words). it's a fun idea, but it's kinda inaccessible and also... i don't really know nimisin! guess i'm not hip enough >_<

the name Nayuta luckily fits with toki pona phonetics (with the y changed to a j)! Denji doesn't quite, so i opted for Tensi. this is the most direct tokiponisation of his name. it sounds a bit like tenshi! (angel in japanese)

just a little something. i went with humans being "jan" and devils "monsuta" (hybrids and fiends may be jan monsuta and monsuta jan respectively, or they could have nimisin) so.. why are these two using jan? well for Denji that's an easier question, as he is basically human-first and also had the name before he became a hybrid. (also there's no need to be so descriptive with a headnoun) as for Nayuta, she uses jan because she's sort of undercover. depending on the circumstances, or when referring to her with her real name (like saying Control Devil in english) she would be monsuta. some devils who gave themself a name use jan, while others such as Power use monsuta (because why would she call herself a human when devils are clearly superior?!)

suwi lete or lete suwi? that is the question. here i decided to go with suwi lete because i think the most appealing aspect to Nayuta is likely the sweetness!

i hope this was at least somewhat enjoyable! i wonder what i'll find to translate next >w> thank you so much for reading if you did! sina lukin la mi pilin pona a!

#chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man spoilers #csm spoilers #csm art #csm fanart #my art #my stuff #toki pona #toki ante #ante toki #csm denji #denji hayakawa #i finished buddy stories last night and like OH. yeah denji hayakawa is fucking real #csm yoru #war devil #csm nayuta #nayuta hayakawa

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icgaminglogs · 1 year ago

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Nightwing's Log, Night 24

We know about three Man-Bats. Tim and the others are trying to trace the signal controlling them. If I can take care of the monsters that's one less thing for them to worry about; once the signal's gone we shouldn't have to worry quite so much. I hope, anyway.

One down. I'm a little annoyed this one chose WayneTech as its roost, but it won't be making any more trouble. Two to go.

Two down. These things like high places, clearly. Makes it a little easier to find them, at least. But high also means less interference for the control signal, so who knows if it's their preference or something built in by Talia?

And that's three. The hospital this time. But that should be all of the ones running loose right now, I hope. We've tracked their point of origin to the cemetery, as if I needed another nod to Bram Stoker. Though these things aren't as charming as Dracula was. Should I stop off somewhere and grab a stake and mallet, just in case

The Wayne family crypt? Really? You really can't just let him be, can you? There is nothing sacred to you, is there, Talia? I bet you think this is nicely symbolic, don't you, you absolute bitch. Leave the dead in peace!

Great. Another secret cave system. At least this one has a convenient trail of lanterns to follow. I guess the League hasn't mastered echolocation yet. Lucky me.

...Lanterns that double as booby traps. Really should have seen that coming.

A dino-....oh...oh no...why here...?

This is...something's off. Why did that cave lead here? It wasn't a part of the Batcave system, I'd have recognized it. I don't like this...

What was that?

Welp. Found the League. I don't like that they're here, mostly because I don't like what that implies, but so long as this means I'm on the right track I'll take it.

How far do these caves go? How did Bruce not know about them? Hell, maybe he didn't know how far they went; they weren't naturally connected to the Batcave, the League did that tunneling themselves. Where even am I at this point?

...Looks like I found it. How long has this place been down here...?

Oh god. No. No no no no....no, please don't let me be right, please, I lost him once, I can't...

Fuck.

You would want me to stop you. I know you would. So I will.

Come on, come back to me, I know you're in there. Jason was. So are you. Come back to me, Bruce. I'm not gonna let her do this to you, not without a fight, come on!

Oh thank god.

No!

I'm not losing him again, I can't lose him again, we can't...! Bruce, stand down, I got this. You passed the job onto us, remember? Let us finish it. Let me finish it.

Kinda figured taking Kane out wouldn't end the Court. Didn't expect them down here, though. But they're outmatched; especially here next to a damn Lazarus Pit, Talia's got power they can't even imagine. At least I don't have to fight on two fronts, though.

Time to end this? Gladly.

Shit.

Wait.

Bruce, what are you doing...?

Oh god...

...it's over. I'm going home.

#nightwing's log #dick grayson #gotham knights #gotham knights game #nightwing #fanfic #fanfiction #dc fanfic #nightwing fanfiction #dc fanfiction #[one more to wrap this up #and then I have to find something new to post >w>#if y'all have enjoyed this maybe leave a comment #drop me a line via askbox #something so i know I'm not just posting to the void? ^^;]

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mayasdeluca · 1 year ago

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https://twitter.com/ColettW/status/1736176035501334848?t=9oHNOMs-5d7aROf_keMcBw&s=19

A friend was there and also told me this before (the M&G people act like a cult lol even my friend would gatekeep stuff)

My point is: they know. The sad thing is that a minority being disrespectful gave the writers the excuse to say they were being attacked (Like the fatfobic dms Z***** got back then) So both of them being cautious about this is probably just to "protect" the writers and avoid more heated discusions.

Maybe unpopular opinion: I was really mad, hurt and offended by that shitty storyline buy I don't get the point to keep bringing and asking actors about it (especially when they still work with those writers/producers)

I remember seeing stuff like that and that thread specifically and was happy to hear that they did seem to understand and people were able to voice our frustrations and displeasure with the storyline in a respectful way and that they seemed to agree but I don't know...I understand being cautious because of the writers and not wanting to disagree with anything they chose to do but I just felt like the way Danielle chose to word things at this recent con was a little strange. Like yeah, the fans didn't have to go there and bring up Jack and mention it again because I agree, I'm kinda over it being discussed at pretty much every con now when we know how awful it was, there's nothing we can do about it now and they thankfully dropped it so it's time to move on but the fact that she kind of implied that she wouldn't have changed how that all happened and that they should have doubled down? That kind of tells me that she still doesn't get it to an extent and for her own personal reasons she still thought it was a good idea and I don't know how she could think that a year later after hearing all the fans talk about it in ways that they did.

Doubling down would mean that Jack would forever be connected to them and their baby and I get the frustration of just wanting Marina to have a baby because obviously fans feel that way too but not at the expense of having Jack being involved in all of it. The whole point is that it was disrespectful that they continued to make a man the center of a wlw couple growing their family and that would have continued to happen if they doubled down so I just really hope Danielle understands that and the harm it would have caused and that it's not the same thing as her real life situation and that Maya and Carina deserve to start their family and have a baby without having a man involved.

#asks #anon

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themuseinthewoods · 2 months ago

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I love you match ups idea???? Sorry for the anon, I'm just really really shy when it comes to fictional ship things. If you're feeling up to it I think matches would be fun for about anything. um. I'll use the format the last person did if that works. eyes: brown, hair: brown., late 20s, average weight/build but I'm tall for a woman (especially if we're talking any historical media, I'd tower over a lot of guys lol). I'm a little withdrawn but I do love parties/socials/dances, as long as I can be on my own most of the day; I like literature and the arts, I work a desk job but I'm also a professional writer. Most of my outfits are inspired by 18th and 18th century menswear, or pre-raphealite style dresses.

Ok, who did I please? TWO ASKS IN ONE DAY??!!! I'm so freaking excited. Okay, I actually had to break out my fandom list for this one lol.

and it is totally fine that you chose to be anon, that is why I have the option.

buttt since you gave me creative liberty, I gonna match you with three guys from different fandom's!! trade off is their are less headcanons for each guy but feel free to request more if their is something you want me to expand on!

The first fandom I went with is: the Lord of the rings.... My personal favorite.

Ok, i know you said you were tall but there is one very specific person that came to mind for this and that is: Frodo Baggins!

not only would this sweet boy absolutely love to take you to all the hobbit parties, dances and social events you could wish for but he also knows a lot about literature and would love to not only exchange writing's with you but would give you excellent reading recommendations!

I think you and Frodo have a lot in common with the little withdrawn part and now you both have each other to keep company

will teach you Hobbit dances

omg, imagine the double dates with Sam and Rosie!

will build a home for you in the shire so you can be comfortable.

The second fandom is: Enola Holmes and I am matching you with the one and only Sherlock!

okay, so I do believe this takes place in one of those century's so lets say in this situation you're a friend of his mothers and he meets you on a visit

and holy shit

the great Sherlock Holmes fell in love.

not only do you disregard most tradition with your clothes but you are well read and appreciate art he's going to consult you on cases regarding art as a way of flirting and you will not change my mind

he'll bring you with him for all the events he is forced to attend loves how you dress up ngl and it makes him feel better that at least you, his darling will enjoy it when he shall not

might propose when he finds out you write because holy crap are you a rarity

The third and final fandom is Tombstone! And I am picking a controversial one here: Johnny Ringo!

ok, hear me out

Johnny not only proves to be a well read man, he is also a pretty smart one.

And lets be honest his usual crowd can be a little unappreciative of the Arts and of literature......oh, and you like to party?

He'll take you to them if you stay with him the whole time and let him keep you safe, but he is a very good dancer

when he has to leave he'll bring you books, writing supplies, new clothes that he "found"

this man is perfectly happy to sit by you or in the same room with you and do nothing but watch you work, you wouldn't know he was there except every time you look up, there's that love struck expression.

ok. again. TYSM for the request anon! you made my day, I really hope you like them <3

P.S. I am always up for requests, they make my day!

#fanfic #fandom #tombstone 1993 #lord of the rings #enola holmes #match ups open

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afirewiel · 1 year ago

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Let me beginning my response to this by saying that I don't hate or love Snape. To quote Lupin, "I neither like nor dislike Snape." I know he wasn't the best person, who did some awful things, but I also know that he did some good things. I'm also not that a big of a fan of the marauders either. Peter was a traitor and James was not developed enough outside of the bullying incident for me to really care about him. Sirius is alright. Lupin is probably the only one I really like.

That being said, I do like Regulus. Why? Firstly, since he died at the age of eighteen (he was so young), we actually have no idea what he would have been like had he lived. Would he have continued to believe in pureblood supremacy? Or would have he turned out more like this brother? We just don't know. We can make guesses and assumptions and headcanons all we want, but they are just those, guesses.

Secondly, everything we know about Regulus, we know second hand from other characters. We don't get to judge him for himself, unlike Snape or the marauders. We don't get to hear him speak for himself. Others speak for him. Others who are all clearly biased in one way or another when it comes to him.

There is so much mystery and so much that is open to interpretation about him.

I've heard the "he only wanted to stop Voldemort when Voldemort hurt Kreacher" argument before and I have to ask, how is that any different than Snape only wanting to help Dumbledore when he found out Lily would be targeted? We all know he wouldn't have done anything if Voldemort had thought Neville was the chosen one and was going after the Longbottoms. Snape only switched sides because of Lily (and was willing to let her husband and son die, I might add), so what if Regulus only changed because of Kreacher? Sounds like a double-standard to me.

Not only that, but I don't even think that statement is true. The first time we ever heard about Regulus is in The Order of the Phoenix when Sirius tells Harry about him. He said that Regulus started to panic about what he was being asked to do (think for a moment about what Voldemort was doing) and wanted out that so Voldemort had him killed. We know that last part is not true, but what about the rest of it? Rumors have to come from somewhere and a lot of them have a grain of truth. I believe seeing what Voldemort did to Kreacher was only the beginning for Regulus, that it opened his eyes and he started to pay better attention and soon realized what kind of man he was working for and realized he had to be stopped.

And Regulus didn't just happen to die trying to get a Horcrux. He willingly sacrificed his life to do it. He knew full well from what Kreacher had told him about the cave that he wouldn't be coming back from it. And it wasn't a quick or painless death either. He drank a potion that decades later had Dumbledore begging for death and then dragged to the bottom of a lake by inferi. He drowned. I don't know about you, but I almost drowned once and it is not a pleasant experience. It is frightening and painful. It's in my top 5 ways I would not want to die. It's horrifying. And Regulus knew he would die this way. It's one thing to willingly face death, it's another when you know it's not going to be quick or painful. And as I said earlier, he was only eighteen. Barely an adult. He should have had his entire life ahead of him, but instead chose to sacrifice it in the hopes of stopping a man who was the wizarding equivalent of Hitler. And it my books that makes him a hero.

So there you have it. That's why I like Regulus Black.

So Marauders stans tend to like Regulus Black ? Can I know why ? Because he essentially has the same background as Severus, but less developed and less extreme. We're about a wealthy guy, who grew up with disgusting values that he always supported, unlike Sirius, and who only rebelled when his beloved house elf was used as a lab rat by Voldemort and died by taking on an orcrux... So why do they hate Severus exactly ? A poor guy who was mistreated by his father, in addition to being harassed throughout his schooling, then who because of his bad company at school (or rather the few only ones he had since Severus was an outcast, implying that this must have been the only group that truly accepted him, explaining the influence it must have had on him. Because I still remember that Severus is a half blood... Which is what Voldemort's followers are also supposed to hate) became a Death Eater, then recognized his mistake and spent the rest of his life redeeming himself by serving as a double agent before dying for the cause... So, I would like to understand how Severus deserves to be hated and Regulus adored by these people ?

Also, I'm tired of seeing people say that Severus is the worst teacher ever, mistreating his students...

Yes, he was not kind at all to them, but the fact is that he never put them in danger and on the contrary often protected them. He doesn't seem to give unfair grades or impossible assignments. Yes, he shows favoritism towards Slytherin, but Dumbledor, the headmaster of the school himself shows favoritism towards Gryffindor. Let's not talk about Slogorn who actually had his favorite student club ! No teacher is perfect at this shitty school. And sorry, but the case of Neville's fear materializing in the form of Severus doesn't count, because he himself said it could have been his grandmother instead. And Hermione was treated to Minerva telling her that she was essentially failing. So stop with all this bullshit. Severus is not the best teacher in the world, or even not a good teacher at all in terms of relationships with his students, but he is certainly not the worst of the lot in our fetish wizard school.

#regulus black #harry potter

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nazuna-tunnel-vision · 2 years ago

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Kohaku analysis

Hi anon, sorry for taking more than 5 months to reply. Kohaku just has so many things going on that I really didn't have a firm understanding of his character and don't know where to start. Still don't actually, but I'll give it my best shot.

Kohaku's main appeal imo is his numerous gaps. There’s a ridiculous amount of them, but the main ones are that he's pink, he's 160cm, he's the youngest character at 15, and yet he has no qualms about killing a man.

He could kill a man and yet was locked in his house until just this year. He could kill a man and yet he's terrified of zombies and wouldn't be able to kill them.

He talks like he has his things together (and he sort of really does), and yet he is still the youngest in the cast and so many people around him nurture him and watch his growth with warm and loving eyes.

Everyone who lays their eyes on him immediately treats him like their cute little bro, and yet he seems to be the more emotionally stable and mature one in Double Face - where his partner is literally the self-proclaimed Mama in the series.

I think the most confusing part about Kohaku is his maturity and simulataneous lack thereof. How he manages to be emotionally mature in DF, and yet is still the baby in Crazy:B. So for this post I'm going to delve into how and why Kohaku manages to do this.

---

(Please bear in mind that I haven't read the !! main stories and the stories for No Name Yet and Ariadne, so i might be missing important characterisation.

Also be warned that I will be referencing events in Dark Night's Passing, Secret Service and Sudden Death. Spoiler warning!)

I feel like most people get really blown away by the shock factor of Kohaku being trained as an assassin. And together with the way Kohaku carries himself, a lot of fans forget that there is a lot he doesn't know about the world.

He grew up in isolation and could only physically step foot into the rest of civilisation at the end of the ! era. And then he promptly got lost. (He asks Anzu for directions to ES in his first character story.) He doesn't know how to choose his own modern clothes either. The clothes we see him wearing were picked out by the salesperson, and for his Feature Outfit he chose traditional wear similar to what he wore growing up.

Kohaku is honestly very similar to Hiiro in this respect. I think it's just not as obvious to non-KohakuPs because:

Kohaku has less questions. This can be explained by how he grew up on the internet, so he had the advantage of familiarity with technology.

Screentime differences:

Hiiro’s ignorance was emphasised throughout the novel that was !! Main Story 1

Kohaku had one (1) introductory chapter that highlighted his ignorance. The rest was sprinkled in mini-talks and event stories.

Differences in other characters' responses to their questions:

Hiiro gets Aira loudly yelling, without fail, that he's stupid and ignorant. And then Hiiro yells his apologies in response. The whole exchange is very noisy and impossible to ignore. (It also happens multiple times.)

Kohaku’s interactions, however, tend to go very smoothly. They’re always along the line of, "Oh, what is this? Ohh so that's it. Thanks for teaching me!". Clean and simple, no jabs and just question > answer > thanks. Or he'll say, "I've only known about this through the internet! I'm looking forward to experiencing this myself this year." And no one comments on it, except for maybe a “Fufu I hope you have a good experience.” It’s all very short and pleasant. Nothing you would take note of unless you’re a KohakuP and realised you’ve seen them lots of times

So anyway, in contrast to Kohaku’s general cool and judgemental "Madara/Rinne-han you’re so stupid” vibe, he really is not that wise in the ways of the world. To be frank, I think his cool-as-a-cucumber behaviour is very boyish of him. You know, when you're a teen and pretend to be more grown-up than you actually are.

And Kohaku is acutely aware of how little he knows. Kohaku has low confidence in making his way through the world, even though he generally acts very capable. This low confidence is the focus of the Honey Bee scout story. It's a very, very cute story where Crazy:B finds ways to push him out of his comfort zone while still respecting his 15 year-old pride. Basically Kohaku was going to shy away from something and Rinne goes "Ha bet you can't do this!" Kohaku reacts very much like a kid by immediately biting the bait. So cute! Another point for the KohakuPs who love the cute and child-like Kohaku. I wouldn’t call Kohaku immature, but he sure isn’t a mature adult either. He has a lot of growing left to do!

Kohaku just generally exudes this little brother energy as easily as breathing.

I think part of it is his size and pink hair colour and baby fat.

Another is probably how open he is about how little he knows. Like Hiiro, he’s not shy about asking for clarification. If you hang around him for long enough, you probably come to expect and accommodate the gaps in his experience.

He’s also super forthcoming and genuine with his praise, admiration and gratitude. The instant he thinks of something nice, like "wow this person sure is skilled!" he'll just let the person in question know. (Unless you're Rinne - you tease him too much for him to want to praise you genuinely to the face orz.) I think people just like being around him and being nice to him because of this habit, and they become nicer and better people in his presence. ((I am looking at HiMERU in particular.))

And despite what I said about his teenage pride, Kohaku's also very gracious and accepting of being consistently assigned the little bro. His attitude to realising that people adopted him is just "huh? well okay I guess. Thank you for your help." He doesn't see it as being patronising; he recognises that people just want to be nice to him and lets them + is grateful for it. (Again, Rinne is an exception because his modus operandi is to bully Kohaku and Kohaku Knows This.)

I think these factors form the basis of his relationships with everyone (minus Madara and his family) where he’s the little baby Kohaku-chan that everyone loves to dote on. And he lets them, and also lets them know that he is grateful for their care! It's super wholesome and cute. Ra*bits-esque, even.

---

But despite all these child-like parts of him (especially him not knowing a lot of common knowledge), he also has a lot of. I don’t know what to call it, I guess emotional maturity in his interactions with others. He's always very genuine and sincere and respectful, and this doesn't ever change unless you're deliberately fucking with him (Rinne).

It's most obvious when you look at Double Face and his interactions with Cagiest Bastard in the Whole Series, Mikejima Madara.

This part requires a good deal of understanding about Mama's issues and Oh Boy Is It A Lot! But what you need to know is that Madara's family is involved with the police and the Shinkai Cult and Madara was been elbows deep in that world from birth. He beats people up off screen and sends the mafia after them and doesn't blink. And his emotional walls reach stratospheric heights. He calls himself Mama and is extremely friendly, but he never really lets anyone close. Headcanon that it's bc he wants to be as close to others as a Mama, but is purposely assigning himself a role that most ppl reject bc he is afraid of actually being that close to people. He's been in a solo unit for the whole of the ! era and was acting alone even before then. Talking about his issues and true feelings are simply not something he does. He buries it under layers of Wasshoi Wasshoi Festival Man Mama. Sometimes he alludes to how estranged he feels but before anyone can meaningfully respond, he jets off to another part of Japan/the world and is uncontactable for a few months.

There's no time to really go into what Madara's issues actually are, but basically Anzu (and the enstars writer Akira) created DF because she wanted Madara to have a friend. Kohaku as an assassin and Madara as the kid of a mafialord just Get Each Other the way others don't. Just look at Dark Night's Passing. It's about feeling too dirty with sin to truly assimilate with the bright sparkling world of Ryuseitai/Tsukasa. It's about not being able to talk about their feelings about their involvement with the underworld because they don't want to sully their friends. Madara sort of talks about it with Kuro, but Kuro is an ex-delinquent and beating other misguised youths up is nothing compared to what Madara is still involved in. Kohaku is probably more comfortable with Crazy:B than any other unit because of their themes of being rejects and rulebreakers, but that's still not the same as assassination. I don't think Kohaku ever came clean to them about his family. Kohaku & Madara just truly do understand each other in a way no one else can.

And despite all that, Madara still tries to distance himself from Kohaku. 😡👎👎. Kohaku has to chase this mf ""unit leader"" down to get updates of their shared unit's work. Kohaku has to call Madara and gets sent to voicemail every time. He has to call up everyone he can think of who could be in contact with Madara and then fly his ass across Japan to beat up Madara up. (He doesn't actually beat Madara up because he's a good kid. He just joins Madara in whatever he was working on and helps him and reminds him that he is no longer alone.)

Anyone in Kohaku's place would be completely justified in thinking that Madara's more effort than he's worth and give up or lash out at him. Just the way Madara likes it! With people so far away from him that he can't hurt them or vice versa (Madara ignores the fact that the act of pushing others away is in itself hurtful.)

But Kohaku doesn't abandon Madara. He takes things pretty damn well imo.

---

Kohaku re: dirty jobs & the Underworld is just so. He's so hopeful even while being born in and knowing the shit side of the world. It breaks my heart and fills me with awe with how disillusioned and yet hopeful he is with the world.

Kohaku in the early stories constantly talks about how the world & people's hearts are dirty. And yet, whenever he receives help (...often, bc of his politeness and little bro energy) he also always comments that kindness still exists in this world. Kohaku, especially in Dark Night's Passing, is a very jaded child. He thinks that his family's line of work is pretty dirty and hates being born into it, but still says he is okay with sacrificing himself for the Suou's. He thinks the world is rotten, that injustice will always exist, and that sacrificing himself is okay, but does whatever he can to ensure that the good people in his life don't suffer.

Kohaku doesn't roll over and give up. He finally has freedom after 15 years and he is so excited to experience all the good things the world has to offer. He knows it comes with bad things too, and accepts it like a champ! Takes it as a foregone conclusion.

It contrasts so sharply with Madara that I just gnnh. Madara is tired. He has given up. He's just floating along trying to help his loved ones while fighting a war in his head and heart against the instinct to also push them far away.

Madara and Kohaku initially connected over their shared understanding of the rotten world and their roles in it, but their attitudes towards living in such a world and with such a role couldn't be more different. Madara believes that he never belongs in the sparkling world everyone else inhabits, and he tries not to "sully" it by never entering it. Kohaku accepts the world, both its rotten and good parts, with an almost zen-like countenance that you really wouldn't expect from a 15 year-old freshly entering the world. Kohaku is excited and accepting and open-minded of all the world has to offer (as long as he doesn't look stupid, because he is 15 and freshly interacting with people irl, he cares about appearances.) Kohaku uses his assassin role to protect himself and those he cares about; it's not something that he even conceives as holding him back.

This really uniquely positions him to set Madara back on the path to heal, because he shares a similar background and yet offers perspective that Madara would not have accepted from any other person. Yes this turned into a DF dynamic analysis but Kohaku was literally created to be a Madara foil, so. That probably just means I'm doing my Kohaku analysis right.

---

Explaining Kohaku's emotional maturity

From a meta perspective, Kohaku's emotional maturity can be attributed to the fact that he was explictly written to be Madara's friend and confidant. He had to be a character that could make Madara feel comfortable enough to let his walls down. He also had to be a character that didn't have the same trauma response and who could handle Madara's.

Lorewise, I think Kohaku's emotional maturity when it comes to relationships (being so open, honest and respectful) can also be explained by his upbringing.

The fact that Kohaku is so open and honest and respectful can be a bit surprising, considering how he was, y'know, locked up for 15 years and all. You expect him to have some very tragic backstory, where he was abused and went through grueling and traumatic assasin training like Killua from Hunter x Hunter or something. You expect him to be cagey and defensive, like Madara or worse. Then you read Sudden Death and it becomes apparent that the chances of Kohaku having been abused are abysmally low. Kohaku is very, very loved by his family. There are still things that don't add up, like Kohaku still having been locked up in a dimly-lit room for 15 years and speaking of his growing up years so negatively. But I'm inclined to think that against all odds, his family treated him very respectfully as a little man and he was raised well. Maybe his distaste for his upbringing was because his family never really tried to justify it or gaslight him into thinking that it was normal and okay. The Oukawas are pretty cool!

---

TLDR for this whole post; Kohaku is very accepting, genuine and forthcoming. He can put even the most guarded people around him at ease and inspires them to be better people just by being himself around them. He was written perfectly to bounce off Madara (and Rinne).

He is also very small and cute. People can't help but dote on him. He is also so excited to finally participate in the world, but feels the tiniest bit of trepidation. He is growing bit by bit every day! Basically he would belong at Ra*bits is what I'm saying. If you ignore the whole assassin thing.

#enstars #rambles #analysis #kohaku #oukawa kohaku #double face #there is a tldr at the end if u need it #please read at least that i promise i prommy

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sporadicthingcollection · 3 years ago

Note

I do humbly ask for perhaps a little smutty fic about an older Bane having some drinks at a cantina fave spot of his and marveling that some lovely human woman who obviously has a liking to him (and perhaps a liking to Duros in general as she is ignoring all other obviously interested men) is making eyes and smiling at him the whole time. Finally he thinks “what de heck” and gets up and gives her a slight look before walking out. She gets the hint...they walk out...and perhaps some fun happens in the alleyway. Or somewhere else. But damn age didn’t stop this Duros from gettin’ some. (Perhaps this was even shortly before his fight with Boba in BoBF)

ooooooh what a good prompt. thanks!

Just a Gigolo (TBOBF!Cad Bane x F!Reader)

Summary: Cad Bane is never as aware of his age as when he sits at a cantina bar, invisible to everyone around him.

Pairing: Cad Bane x F!Reader

Rating: 🌶 Explicit 🌶

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Mention of prostitution, cunnilingus, PiV sex

There will come a day When youth will pass away And what will they say about me?

---

Cad Bane is never as aware of his age as when he sits at a cantina bar, invisible to everyone around him.

It stings a bit. Thirty years ago, women would be buying him the drinks, and he'd easily charm his way into their beds. Twenty years ago, he needed to work a bit harder, do some wining and dining, but it would always end with some fun. Ten years ago, when he was aching for company, he could always find a pretty lady of the evening willing to make a business transaction.

But his looks have faded, his charms are dated, and not even the streetwalkers give him a passing glance.

He doesn't lose too much sleep over it. It's the bed he made for himself, the bed he chose when he picked credits over a pretty face time and time again.

He wouldn't change a thing if he had to do it over again. That's what he tells himself, anyways.

And so he sits and nurses his whiskey and water. He can't drink it neat anymore. Anything more than a few mouthfuls knocks him on his ass, and he prefers a slow descent into inebriation. Easier on his head in the morning.

A presence materializes beside him. He gives a quick, appraising glance...

...but it turns into a stare.

Stars above, you're pretty.

"I'll have a Sex in the Cockpit," you tell the bartender. "Could I get a double shot of jogan schnapps in that?"

You're a Human, one of the ones with the warm, dark skin the same color of freshly-tilled soil. Long, thick braids frame your face like the mane of a regal beast, held back by a sunny yellow scarf. A brightly-colored floral-patterned dress flatters your... well, everything.

He doesn't mean to stare. He really doesn't. But he can't drag his eyes away from you.

You notice him and give him a shy, slightly uncomfortable smile. "Evening," you say.

He remembers himself and forces himself to look at his drink. "Evenin'," he says coolly.

You look him up and down. "Nice hat."

He cracks a genuine smile at that. So you have good taste. "So it is," he says. "Double schnapps, eh? Dangerous game."

You turn fully to him and wow you're even prettier from the front. And then you smile genuinely at him and the corners of your eyes get cute little crinkles and you get little dimples in your cheeks and sweet stars, he's gone.

"I'm celebrating tonight," you say. "And I don't have work tomorrow, so I can afford to get a little loose."

He nods and raises his glass. "'Grats to ya," he says.

You straighten up a bit. "Thank you." You push one of your braids over your sun-kissed shoulder. He recognizes a flirty tic when he sees one. "First time I've been out without the kids in a while. Kind of exciting, y'know?"

He doesn't know, actually. Yet another thing he gave up in the eternal pursuit of credits.

The little flicker of hope smoldering in his chest sputters out. But he remains cordial. "Yer ol' man on kid-wranglin' duty tonight?"

Your face falls, then twists up into a grimace. "They're with my sister, actually," you say. "My idiot ex-husband is somewhere on Corellia by now..."

That little spark comes roaring back to life, and he doesn't hide his smile. The bartender returns with your drink. You go to slip her your credits, but he stops you.

"Put it on my tab," he says to the bartender. He looks back to you. "Go have fun, li'l lady. Sounds like you deserve it."

You blink at him. It's hard to see, but your cheeks flush just a bit. "Thank you, Mister...?"

He takes a sip of his drink. "Just Cad'll do."

---

He stays at the bar far, far longer than he intends. But he gets to stay in the same room as you, so it's a win for him.

You're sitting with your girlfriends in a booth, chatting away like a flock of nuna. But he occasionally sees you glancing at him. Little sneaking looks that turn into sheepish smiles when he winks at you.

He sees a number of men approach your group. Your friends seem content to bask in the male attention, but you brush them off, over and over again.

Eventually, you saunter up to the bar with a few empty glasses and set them down. You order something non-alcoholic and perch next to him.

You offer him a smile. "Surprised you're still here."

He shrugs. "Got nowhere else to be."

You nod. "Respect the honesty." You drum your fingers on the table and quickly glance to the side.

He's distracted for a moment by your lovely dark eyes, but he ends up following your gaze. All of your girlfriends are looking at you eagerly, and the moon-faced Togruta gives you a double thumbs up and an encouraging grin.

His stomach does a flip as he realizes what's happening. You're coming on to him, and your friends think it's a great idea.

Not that his ego was particularly deflated to begin with, but it puffs right up as you return your gaze to him, twisting a braid around your finger.

You swallow thickly. "You know, the place I'm staying isn't far from here," you say. "You maybe wanna...?"

You let the question hang in the air.

He stares at you just long enough to make you squirm a bit. He finishes his drink with a flourish, and gives you a toothy smile.

"Lead de way."

---

Cad Bane used to fuck. Long, hard romps, with lots of twisting and contorting. He sometimes can't believe he was ever able to do the things he used to.

He's a bit too old for that now. His stamina isn't what it used to be, and most of the acrobatics would end with him throwing out his back. But experience trumps everything, and this old akk dog knows a hell of a lot of tricks.

Like how his breathing tubes allow for him to go down and stay down as long as he requires.

You're even prettier naked, hair splayed out in a halo on the pillow, back arched as he buries his face in your pussy. Your purrs and moans are sweet music to his ears as he languidly licks and sucks you.

You grind your soft hips into his face as he grips them tight, digging his fingers into the smooth, pliant flesh. You were sheepish about your size, but he quickly shushed you.

"I ain't trim anymore neither," he'd said. "So quit fretting and relax."

You reach your peak in due time, moaning and twitching as your pussy pulses. Sweet music to his ears.

He pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You peer up at him with dark, hazy eyes, lips curled into a smile.

"That was... wow," you breathe.

He offers a grin. "Glad ya had fun."

You put a hand to your cheek as you smile, nibbling your lower lip. He wishes he had a holocam to immortalize your coy beauty, but memory will have to do.

He sits back on his haunches, licking his lips. He could just pull his cock out and dive into you, but he doesn't want to seem too eager. So instead he disconnects his breathing apparatus and, after placing it carefully on the nightstand, peels his bodysuit off.

Your eyes widen as you look at him, and he can't help but feel a bit self-conscious. He's by no means fat, but age has thickened his middle a bit, and his skin is scarred and ragged.

"Ain't much to look at," he admits.

You sit up. Carefully, you slide your gentle hands along his torso, tracing all the crags and gullies he's accumulated. His trophy case and resumé, always carried with him.

Your hand travels up his neck to linger on the discolored splotch of scar tissue on his skull. "What happened here?" you breathe.

He'd committed the cardinal sin of bounty hunting: underestimating his opponent. In his defense, said opponent was a teenaged whelp too angry to function in polite society. He should have won that shootout. The pain and bitterness have long faded, but the disappointment in himself still creeps up on him sometimes.

You press it. A zap of pain lances through his forehead, and he hisses. You jerk away, your dark eyes wide. "I'm so sorry," you say, hands flying to your mouth. "Did I hurt you? Are you okay? Do you need bacta? There's some in the 'fresher--"

Yeah, you're definitely a mother. He waves you off. "Tender spot. I'll be fine so long as ya don't touch it again."

He takes your chin in his fingers and leans in to press his lips to yours. You let him.

Kissing doesn't come naturally to Duros, but the first time he tasted the warm, wet mouth of a pretty Pantoran, he was hooked.

And dear Maker, you're like a shot of pure spice. Your lips are so soft and smooth against his, your tongue so sweet and confident in its movement. So much so that he's getting light-headed...

...no, wait. No tubes. He just needs air.

Bane pulls away gently, one hand on your chest to keep you from following. He breathes deeply, appreciating the coolness after your warm mouth.

You give him a lusty, smoky-eyed smile. You trail your fingers down to his belt and start to tug, deftly undoing the buckle.

You don't seem too perturbed by his blasters, though the second one makes your brows rise. If you have thoughts, you keep them to yourself as you place the gunbelt on the nightstand next to his tubes.

He starts to undo his fly, but you put your hand on his and give him a reproachful look. Carefully, you take the zipper yourself and shimmy them down around his hips.

His half-hard cock pops out, bobbing gently. You stare at it in fascination, reaching out to draw your finger along his ridges. A jolt of pressure goes to his belly and a purr escapes him before he can stop it.

You giggle in response. "Sensitive?" you ask. He nods. You feather your fingertips along the ridges, eliciting all sorts of noises from him.

Before long, a few fat drops of precum drip from his slit. You stare at it a moment, then swipe your finger along his glans and examine it closely.

"Thinner than I expected," you say. "Less sticky."

"Ain't fertile."

You nod and, after a moment's hesitation, give it a taste. Your brows furrow. "...Tastes like sour candy."

That gets a quick laugh out of him. A few more drops leak out, replacing what you'd swiped up.

He peels off his trousers and tosses them to the floor. You flop backwards, spreading your legs for him. He takes a moment to admire you before arcing over you, kissing your neck as he gently palms your breasts. They fit nicely in his hands.

As he fondles you, you pump your hand along his cock. Oh, it feels good. Fantastic. Wonderful. He needed a woman's touch more than he cared to admit. It's been too long since he's been stroked, too long since he's burst all over a--

He sucks in a sharp breath and she pushes your hand away, willing himself to calm. Wouldn't do to pop the cork early.

"Are you alright?" you ask.

He purrs loudly, gazing down at you. "Easy, li'l lady," he says. He licks his lips. "Ya ready?"

You grab one of the pillows and push it under your rump. "Uh-huh," you breathe.

He hooks his hands under your knees and slowly pushes into you, giving you time to adjust to his size. You're not vice-tight, a fact for which he's grateful -- thrusting is so much easier when the woman doesn't have a death grip on his cock.

You let out low, heady hisses as you take him. Your pussy clenches around him, forcing a hoarse gasp from him.

He reaches his hilt, and you exhale. You open your eyes to peer at him, then at where your body joins with his. You suck in a breath, and he feels you pulse.

"Ya take it good," he rumbles. "Ya done dis before?"

You shake your head. His cock twitches, and you let out a squeak. "You're my first -- ooh! -- alien," you admit.

Oh, he just loves being someone's first time. They have nothing to compare it to, so it's impossible to disappoint.

Slowly, he starts to thrust. Long, languid strokes back and forth. His ridges push against your clit, making you squirm.

"That feels good...!" you whisper.

He doesn't respond, just chuckles and keeps thrusting.

He's not sure if you just feel that good or if it's just been awhile. But he doesn't care. Pleasure is pleasure and he'll take what he can get.

You seem to be enjoying yourself as well. Huffing and puffing and letting out little moans that make his cock twitch.

He reaches his peak much quicker than he likes. You're nowhere near ready, and he'd never leave a lady unsatisfied.

He bites his cheek to try and hold it in, but all that accomplishes is making him taste blood. He tries to think unsexy thoughts, but you look so gorgeous beneath him. He tries squeezing his eyes shut, but that only emphasizes your moans...!

"Hey," you say. He cracks open an eye to peer at you. Your brow is knit, but you're smiling gently. "You alright?"

He swallows dryly. "Ain't exactly a spring nuna," he rasps.

You nod. Taking one of his hands, you place it on your clit and gently swirl his fingers around it. You moan and purr and thrust your hips up.

Maker damn it all, he can't do it.

He sees stars as he climaxes. No, star clusters -- no, galaxies. He may have seen the Maker, even, but as he comes crashing back down, he can only see black.

He throws his arms out to prevent him from bashing his forehead against yours. You don't seem to notice, lost in your own little world as you finger yourself.

He watches your face, feels your body as you come. Your chest warms up, you squeeze your eyes shut, and your pussy pulses around his softening cock as you let out a few little mewls.

It's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, heard, and felt.

His arms start to quiver, and he flops atop you, his face in your pillowy breasts.

You let out a little yip of surprise, but he's too dazed to react. He's in a pleasant haze, his limbs nice and limp as his heart pounds. He pants for breath, trying to ease the burn of his lungs.

After a minute or two, he finds his voice. "Sorry 'bout that," he mumbles.

"Don't be," you say. You place a warm hand on his head and gently stroke, careful to avoid his tender spot. "That was fantastic."

He sighs in relief. He pushes himself off of you, his cock sliding out with a sticky shlick. He groans as his back hits the mattress.

You giggle, then carefully get up. You open the door to the fresher and toss a towel to him before closing the door again.

Bane hauls himself to a sitting position. It hurts. He's exhausted. Every bone in his body is telling him to sleep, but he ignores them. He should mop himself up and be on his way.

He's pulling his trousers up when you exit the 'fresher, all cleaned up and clad in a big faded tee. You cock your head at him. "Where're you going?" you ask.

"Don't wanna overstay my welcome," he says simply.

You stare at him for a moment. "Stay. I can tell Aharli to get a cot with Mel and Irrys." You smile. "Revenge for all the times she sexiled me when we were roomies."

Your friends, he assumes. He blinks at you. "Ya sure?"

You nod. "I insist."

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little touched and a lot relieved.

He slides his trousers back off as you pull back the covers, and he slips into bed beside you. You tuck your head right under his arm to rest your head on his chest. The highest of your braids tickles his lips, and he tries to blow it away. It doesn't budge.

Your giggle sounds like wind chimes, clear and musical. You reach up and gently move it before draping your arm across his chest and tucking your fingers beneath him.

This is more intimate than he'd expected. He's used to one-and-dones out behind the cantina or having to bail so the lady can take her next customer. This is something he hasn't had in a long, long time.

He's not going to question a good thing. You smell like fresh-cut pinewood, tangy and smoky, and you're so, so warm. Like sipping a cup of fresh caf on a cold night, it seeps into his bones right down to the marrow and relaxes his every muscle.

Cad Bane sleeps better than he has in a long, long while.

---

Morning comes all too quickly. Checkout is at noon, and you have to pack your things.

He watches you carefully, twiddling a toothpick as you shove your belongings into a too-small suitcase.

"Ain't much of a light packer, are ya?" he says.

"Look, you never know if there's gonna be an emergency," you say. "Always have extra underwear, an extra pair of pants, more socks than you'll need, sunscreen, lotion..." You pause and flop over the suitcase. "Maker, I am such a mom," you mutter.

He chuckles. "Worse problems to have," he says.

You smile, and that seems to give you the strength you need to get the zipper around the last corner. You let out a triumphant laugh and heave it onto the ground.

His smile fades. Time for him to go, then.

He stands up and plucks his hat from the bedpost. "Been a pleasure, li'l lady," he says, placing it on his head.

He tries to push past you, but you stop him. You untie the scarf you'd meticulously wound around your braids and place it in his hand. You close his fingers around it and give him an earnest smile.

"Thank you," you say.

He's actually baffled by that. "For what?"

"For a good night," you say. "I had fun."

He considers returning the scarf, but it's bad luck to turn down a lady's favor. "Thanks for the proposition," he says. "Safe travels."

Your hands linger on his just a moment, but you eventually withdraw them to open the door. He leaves you with a wink and a tip of his hat.

He strokes the scarf between his fingers as he descends the stairs. He can't help but feel a twinge of... something. Sadness? Disappointment? Longing?

He'll never see you again. He knows he won't. You'll go back to your home and your career and your kids, and he'll go back to his running and gunning all by himself.

The lonely part of him wants to turn back around. Fill the hole in your heart. Kiss you. Hold you. Steal your warmth at night. Finally let himself rest his weary bones.

But he won't. He's just a hired gun. That's all he is, that's all he ever will be, and that's fine by him.

Besides, he has no time for woolgathering. He has an appointment to keep in Mos Espa with an uppity clone with delusions of respectability.

And so he pockets the scarf and makes his way out into the noontime sun, pulling his hat down low to shade his eyes.

--- When the end comes I know They'll say "just a gigolo" Life goes on without me

---

To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

#thanks for the ask!#cad bane #cad bane x reader #star wars smut #the book of boba fett #tbobf #x reader #x you #reader insert #emberly writes

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hwrryscherry · 4 years ago

Text

The one where Harry & Model Y/N do a interview together.

NOT MY GIF

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N do their first ever interview together on the Late Late Show with James Corden and they play "Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts".

word count: 2.12K

I loved this concept SO much!!! And I really hope you guys like it too. Thank you anon for requesting this😍😍😍

The Late Late Show with James Corden producers called you and Harry trying to book you both to be on the show and to an interview together. You have to admit it that you got nervous; of course you had been through tons of interviews before but to do a double interview with Harry is a whole new level. You both are really private about your relationship and it's kinda rare to actually see one of you talking details of it, and it also had something to do about the larries fans. You were really concerned about them, you never want to disrespect them or even upset them in some way, even though some of them made fun of your relationship, they're still Harry's fans and you respect all of his fans without exception. But anyway, after a lot of talking between your management and between both of you too, you agreed to go and also felt a lot more comfortable because it was going to be with James, that was already friends of you guys.

It was set up that you both will be playing a game in the show called ''Spill your guts or fill your guts'', which actually worried you a little because of the hard questions but besides that, you were really calm, Harry made you calm. He was so great at calming you, I think it's the fact that those past 2 years you both had been through ups and downs and you got quite great at calming each other. And by the way, your man looked SO nice! You were kinda matching actually, as you both were wearing grey. You were in a grey suit and Harry had a grey sweater on looking stunning.

James called both of you on stage and you entered smiling and waving to the crowd as yoi walked towards James's direction. Harry gave him a big hug and you followed by hugging James as well. You both sat in the couch besides James's desk as the crowd got more silenced.

— It's so great to have you here! — James said to you both as he sat down on his chair — Honestly, I really thought you wouldn't accept!

— Oh, Y/N didn't want to! — Harry said quickly making you give him a slightly slap on his arm — Sorry, we had to discuss it! — Harry corrected himself making the crowd and James laugh.

— I never said I didn't want to! I said WE HAD to discuss it! — You corrected him making an emphasis on the ''we had''.

— Alright that's acceptable! Anyway — James looked at the papers on his hand and then back at you — How are you guys doing? I feel like I haven't seen you both in months because you always disappear!

— We've been good! — Harry said while playing with his rings in his hand. You crossed your legs as James stared at you. You couldn't help but start laughing a little because he was fixedly looking at you at that made you a little nervous!

— Yeah, we're pretty good! It's been a nice year! — You answered honestly — And we don't disappear! We just... I mean, I feel like there are times when we actually kinda get away from the world a bit. I truly don't know why. We just focus on spending some quality time together as a couple because we both work so much and we spend a lot of time traveling so it's something really important to keep the relationship stable. And we do it specially in the begging of the year, because that's when we celebrate our anniversary, so I guess it's just a habit that we have to disconnect and enjoy our time together so we can just focus on us and what we expect from the relationship on the following year. And it's the best time to do it because the holidays just happened and he have a little no work time to really be just us.

— Oh right! And how long have you been together by the way? — James asked, he actually knew the answer of that because you're all pretty great friends and you and Harry actually hangs out a lot with James and his wife.

— It's been two years now! — You answered.

— Yeah, it's been a bit now! — Harry completed.

— Oh so, you both weren't dating on the VS Show 2017? Because there were a lot of rumors by the end of the show! — James asked.

— We were not! We actually met at the VS, we took a long time to actually start dating, we started dating in early january 2018, I guess — Harry answered as he slided his hand on his perfectly styled hair.

— Oh, I see... And do you guys plan the future? — James asked making you and Harry exchange looks while smiling at each other — Oh, I like that look... Marriage? Kids? We ALL want to know!

— I mean... yeah! It's almost impossible to be this long in a relationship and not plan it! — Harry said — And I feel like we enjoy a lot of the time we spent together, it's been quite a journey and it's nice to have someone that you really care about and you want to have a future with by your side at some of the most important moments of your life, but I think we both agree that we still have a lot of things to experience before taking this step, you know, the marriage step. But yeah, I can't wait for a time when this is going to be a thing for us! I'd marry her in a heart beat and she knows it! — Harry said. He looked focused while talking but as soon as he felt your gaze towards him, he blushed and started smiling like a little boy who just got his favorite candy.

— So, you won't pop the question anytime soon? — James asked teasing Harry about his reaction over your gaze. As James were close friends with you guys, he knew how much you loved each other and actually everyone could see how Harry kisses the floor you walk by. He is head over heels for you and he melted anytime your hand touched him and anytime you smiled or even looked at him. Everyone who was close to you guys would know that you're the one for him and he's the one for him.

— I mean... — Harry had a cheeky smile on his lips — Who knows.. The year is just starting, 2020 it's a new year!

— And what's your thoughts on that, Y/N? — James asked looking at your blushed and smiley face.

— I agree with whatever he said! I was actually too distracted admiring his beauty to hear what he said. — You joked making Harry blush even more. You were head over heels about his man and this man only, totally in love with him.

— Alright so, on the next block we'll "Spill your guts or fill your guts'' where you'll see Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N answering the most crazy questions! We'll be right back! — James said to the camera that stopped filming immediately. You both stand up and walked with James to the other spot in the stage where the game was set up. It was a big rounded table with some of the most disgusting things you've ever saw and smelled. Apparently James wasn't going to play with both of you, but you could also see there was bull penis, cod sperm, chocolate cockroaches, hot sauce, 1.000 year old eggnod and banana smoothie in the table. But anyway, you just chatted with Harry and James until it was time to start shooting again.

— So, we're back, and we're about to start playing ''Spill your guts or fill your guts''. — Harry said as the camera started filming again — And apparently, I'm going to host this part, unless you want to? — Harry asked looking at you across the table.

— No, you can do it! — You answered as you sat straight in the chair looking at the things in the table — I'm nervous I've never done this before.

— Oh yeah, you've never done it! Well that's exciting! — Harry said before letting a small evil laugh leave his lips making you laugh as well and roll your eyes — Ladies first! — Harry said and you took a deep breath before taking a paper card in your hands. — So what am I eating? — Harry said as you both looked to the table.

— I guess...hum.. you can stay with the hot sauce! — You said cheeky smiling at him spinning the table to put the hot sauce in front of him.

— You know how much I hate hot sauce! — Harry said frustated while looking at the sauce.

— I know! — You said right before you whispered a low ''oh god'' before reading the paper — I love this! — You said laughing a little — Alright, Harry explain to the world the meaning of ''Watermelon Sugar'' — You said laughing as you watched Harry's face goes red when he listens to what you asked.

— Well... — He took a deep breath before laughing a little. He's face went completly red as he thought of explaining it — I guess it's about, hum.. Giving pleasure...to your significant other...hm.. by eating a watermelon! — He said pausing a little containing his laugh. Of course everyone knew the real meaning of Watermelon Sugar but neither of you had ever actually defined it with the exact words about the meaning.

— Alright! That was good!...Very convincing! — You looked at him with a slightly mocking expression as you saw Harry trying to decide on what he's gonna make you try.

— Let's go with the banana smoothie! — Harry said with a huge malicious smile on his lips.

— No fucking way! — You said immediately. Harry knew how much you hated banana, actually you'd rather die than eating a banana, so he just laughs — Harry...

— It's a game! You gave me the hot sauce, I'll give you the banana smoothie! — He said and you tried your best to do your pity face, even with the doggy eyes basically begging for him to chose everything else except the banana smoothie. — Alright, alright — Harry sighed making you smile as he now changed the banana smoothie to the bull penis. It was bad, but way better than banana. Harry got a paper card and laughed a little when he read what was written — You're one of the most notable supermodels on your generation and also are friends with some of the greatest models from your time. Rate Kendall, Gigi and Bella to best to the worst catwalks.

— Oh god! — You covered your face with your hands making Harry laughs out loud. You looked at the bull penis quietly and then at Harry again — I feel like I could answer, right?

— I feel like I could answer! — Harry completed putting an emphasis on the ''I could'' making you laugh and then slide your right hand through your hair.

— We've talked about this before, I know, but it was a healthy gossip between a couple... — You said staring at Harry's face thinking — I'd say... — You started but then stopped as the crowd cheered a bit.

— Just eat the penis! — Harry says quickly after letting out a long breath and making you laugh a little by the controversing of the words of your easily jealous boyfriend.

— If I might say, I'm very surprised you're asking me to eat another penis! — You answered quickly seeing Harry's eyes widen at you as he had a big smile on his face.

— I mean, it's just bull penis! — He said and you just agreed looking at the penis again — I mean, I could help you answer this.. Blink twice if the worst one is...

— I'M EATING THE PENIS! — You shouted getting one of them in your hand and just throwing it in your mouth chewing it slowing with a very ugly face because you knew Harry would actually say it, he can be the next gossip girl. — This is disgusting! This is probably the worst thing I've ever putted on my mouth.

— That's funny I thought you liked a penis in your mouth! — Harry said lowly making you literally choke and spit the bull penis in the small bucket you had in your hand and then drinking water as you tried to contain your laugh — But I mean, how much horrible things have you ever put on your mouth, right?

— That's not the point! Focus on the game! — You said as you looked through the rest of the things in the table — As I ate the penis, I'll give you the cod sperm so we can match later. — You said positioning the cod sperm in front of him — Actually, how did they got the sperm out of the cod? — You asked and Harry laugh looking at it as he said he had no idea. You picked another paper card and let out a loud laugh — I LOVE this game! Between Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn, rank their solo careers to best to... — You laugh at the exact moment Harry covered his forehead with his head. He got the napkin beside him and wrapped it around his neck, then he got the fork with the cod sperm and stared at it quietly.

— Just put it in your mouth and swallow. Don't look at it! — You said innocently making the crowd laugh and Harry to look at you with a mocking expression while trying to contain his smile.

— Right, because ''don't look at it, just swallow'' fixes everything. What are you gonna tell me now? Should I spit or should I swallow? — Harry joked making you laugh realizing what you actually said.

— I mean, I'd swallow it! — You said joking back while holding back your laugh. Even though you were actually shy, you and Harry were used to always making sexual jokes so it was normal to you, and very funny too as you'd do it all the time. But Harry did as you said and threw it in his mouth, but he spit on the bucket beside him. It was your time again and he chose the chocolate Cockroaches and read the last question.

— Who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your DMs? — Harry asked making you smile thinking if you should tell it or not even though you knew exactly who it was and so did Harry. You'd always tell each other when someone flirted with you because this helped a lot to deal with all the being extremaly jealous story — WHO IS HE? — Harry joked making you let out a laugh.

— I mean.. I'd say you, for sure! I was really surprised! — You said making him smile because even though he knew you were very excited when he answered your DM, he was definetly not the most surprising celeb to slide into your DMS but he accepted the answer either way.

— Alright, this was fun! — Harry said finishing the game and then the camera came back to James and the new guest of the show.

You and Harry left the studio of The Late Late Show in NYC and grabbed dinner at a french restaurant in the city exactly like you both said you'd do in the end of the night. In the restaurant, you basically talked about the game and how fun it was to do this together and how much you loved going through new experiences together and how much you wanted to see what the future will bring to both of you, because even though the future was uncertain, you both had 100% of certain you wanted to spend it together.

#hwrryscherry #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry and y/n #harry styles and y/n #harry x reader #HARRYxMODELY/N

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rikumorimachisgirl · 4 years ago

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Title: Eyes on you

Pairing: Shaw x You

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2,901

A/N: You (Y/N) are not the MC in MLQC. This is a plunny that's been bugging me for quite a while, I had to write it. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own MLQC or its characters, but I do own the concept of this fic.

There were a few mysteries in this world that the esteemed Archeology Graduate Professors at Loveland University can't explain - for instance, the formation of the Stonehenge, the exact location of the lost city of Atlantis, the origin of the Nazca lines… and your presence at the Metro Art Gala dressed to the nines, positively gleaming as you strode arm in arm with your classmate and Thesis partner Shaw, who seemed like the perfect gentleman that evening. Thanks to your work at the Loveland Museum, you scored two invites to the gala featuring the recently discovered works of a well-known artist - an event any Archeology fanatic wouldn't let pass. The two of you walked along with LFG's Exhibition Hall, pausing occasionally to admire one of the recently discovered sculptures by the Renaissance artist D'Romani. As you both looked at the intricacies of the artwork in front of you, your charming companion would lean in slightly and whisper something in your ear, causing you to roll your eyes or stifle a giggle.

To the guests in the prestigious gala, the two of you looked like two young people at the cusp of falling in love, but the members of the Faculty of the Graduate School of Archeology saw it differently - this was a real-life mystery if they'd seen one.

As your eyes swiftly swept through the entire room, you could see that your professors only had one question in mind - how'd this happen? How did two people as different as day and night, who argued with each other throughout Graduate studies, end up amiably enjoying each other's company tonight?

You drew a sharp breath and sighed. The answer was simple: Your Thesis defense was right around the corner. You needed him to cooperate, you were willing to go to great lengths to make it happen. And your Thesis partner (unfortunately) was ready to take full advantage of the situation.

***

"Tell me why we're doing this again, " you said through the door that separated you and your date, as you were putting on the dress you bought (or invested on, as he casually stated) for tonight's gala, which he insisted on attending with you. It was six in the evening on a Friday, and you had just arrived home after cramming your workload at the Loveland Museum and foregoing your meal breaks just so you could leave work at exactly five-thirty.

"I already told you a couple of times - you want me to cooperate with you so you can pass our Thesis, and I need a reason to be around her," the purple-haired man waiting at the other side of your bedroom door called out nonchalantly. "You can drop your fantasy about me asking you out because I'm attracted to you."

You hissed silently at his snarky remark and counted to ten. You haven't even left your apartment yet you already wanted this night to be over. "How do you even know she's gonna be there?"

She - the Miracle Finder Producer, the object of your Thesis Partner's fantasies, and as fate would have it, his brother's girlfriend.

"They're doing a show featuring our Thesis adviser. Didn't he tell us about it during our last consultation?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"I wasn't listening," you shot back, as you took off your ponytail and started styling your hair with your curling iron. You chose a one-shoulder fitted black dress that stops right above your knees, so you thought of wearing your hair down for a change.

"Ah, yes. You were too busy looking at your notes, trying to prove me wrong as always."

You closed your eyes, as you continued to make big beach waves and prayed to the gods you wouldn't commit murder tonight.

"How much longer are you gonna take?"

"Excited much?" You asked, smirking while you now removed your glasses and put on your contacts. "You sound like a teenager excited to see his crush in a school fair!"

"Don't compare me to you!"

"I don't have designs on anyone in the party," you called back. "Unless your brother's attending the event, that is. From what you've been telling me, he seems like a great guy."

Silence. You arched an eyebrow as you strained your ear to listen for any sign of life outside your bedroom door. What must your grunge-rock skater boy-turned-date-for-the-evening be thinking?

"Do you want to pass our Thesis or not?"

You struck a victory pose at his remark. Finally, one point - you, Shaw - about twenty.

"Are you done yet? This suit is really uncomfortable. Damn, why do people even wear these?"

"Because they're decent?" You shot back. "You know, you can always go home if you're not comfortable in your attire because when we get there, you need to act decent, too. Can't have your usual swagger in a formal affair."

"Just hurry it up already!"

You rolled your eyes as you applied your nude-colored lipstick to finish off your look before putting on your black stilettos, and stuffing your phone, wallet, and your makeup in your purse.

"All done," you replied, as you finally emerged from your room.

***

A part of you wished that the dynamics between you and Shaw were different. While he was a pain in the neck, and too carefree for his own good, you also thought he made for a good intellectual sparring partner, quite attractive, and it was hard to deny that he's got your heart beating double-time whenever he got too close for comfort like he was at that very moment.

"My, you two kids seem to be having fun tonight."

You gasped, at the sound of the voice behind you, and you felt your date nudge you ever-so-subtly while straightening.

"Hey, Professor Adler," he said in his usual unruffled tone, his lips stretched into a smirk as he held his hand out to your Anthropology professor and Thesis adviser, who watched you both amusedly. His gesture made your eyes shot wide open, you thought they'd fall right off. Shaw shaking someone's hand? That's one for the books.

"Shaw. Fancy seeing you here," the stout middle-aged man greeted while shaking your date's hand. "This isn't your usual scene though."

"Yeah, I know, but I can't exactly turn a pretty lady down, can I?"

"I can see that," your professor said as he looked at you appraisingly. "Well, well, you clean up well, Miss (y/n)."

You fought the urge to squirm at the older man's words when you heard your date cluck his cheeks with his tongue and suddenly felt his arm around your shoulders, pressing you protectively close to his side.

***

"All done!" You happily announced as you stepped into the living room of your small apartment where your date was impatiently waiting for you.

You could've sworn he was stunned for a second or two before he shook his head and tried to regain his usual impassive expression. Finally, he stood and walked closer to assess you better.

"You're not wearing your glasses. I thought you said you're practically blind without them?"

You cocked your head to one side. Out of all the things he could've complimented or called out, that's the first thing he noticed?

"Wouldn't it look awkward if I wore glasses to a formal event?"

"Your hair is all curly," he continued as if you didn't say anything. "And your shoes are so tall, won't you trip? Also, surely you have a jacket to go with that dress, right?"

You stared at him in disbelief. Why did this carefree, bass-playing skater boy turn into your dad all of a sudden?

"Uh…"

"Well, at least you're not wearing red lipstick. You don't have to try too hard to look sexy. Geez! I've got plans of my own this evening, so don't expect me to be your bodyguard," he continued to mumble as he circled around you. Before long, you felt something warm and heavy on your shoulder. His coat?

"It's just until we get to the venue," he shrugged as he led you to the car he borrowed for tonight. "I don't want people seeing you freeze to death."

You sighed, your shoulders slumped as you followed your date to the car. You already expected he wouldn't throw you a compliment for looking like a proper human tonight, and you cursed yourself for feeling gutted over it anyway.

***

"So, which one of these sculptures did you like best, Professor?" You sighed in relief as Shaw changed the subject, his arm still wrapped around you, making you blush furiously.

"Oh, I have to say I liked Eros and Psyche best. In case you haven't seen it yet, it's located a little further down the hall near the bar area," the older man was starting to explain when someone tapped his shoulder from behind.

"Excuse me, Professor Adler," a gentle voice called out, making both the professor and Shaw jump. From behind the old man, a pretty petite with brown hair and big brown eyes, and the biggest smile on her face stepped up. "My name is MC from Miracle Finder."

Almost immediately, Shaw withdrew his arm around you, almost causing you to stagger backward. He straightened up and feigned disinterest.

"Hey. It's a little rude how you stepped in while I was talking to the Professor," he said, his tone teasing.

"Oh, I didn't notice you here. Do you mind if I talk to your Professor? We've invited him for an interview about the exhibit," the girl said sweetly.

Based on how unconsciously coy she acted around Shaw, and the way he kept egging her, there was no doubt that this was the girl he was crushing on. You felt like the odd person out all of a sudden and needed to step away.

You backed away slowly, careful not to rouse their attention because it would probably suck if you knew how Shaw would introduce you to his little crush. As soon as you were in a safe distance, you turned and walked aimlessly down the hall, pausing briefly at paintings or sculptures that caught your fancy, looking at its intricacies as you did so earlier. But somehow, it wasn't as fun as it was before, so you moved on quickly, to give way to the other guests who also wanted to view the artwork.

Finally, you came upon the bar and decided to rest your tired feet at the far corner, hidden from the rest of the world. Sighing, you slipped your feet off your stilettos and quietly watched as the guests around you - mostly couples - happily chatting away as they enjoyed the beauty of the art around them and the wonderful music that filled the air. You knew somewhere in the crowd, your date was fawning over his lady love, probably getting in the way of her filming your professor.

Tch.

You knew he liked her - he always told you he did. And why wouldn't he? MC was pretty, seemingly sweet, and dainty - the kind of girl any guy would like to protect. And you. You were the opposite. You lived for your work, were 'one of the boys', and didn't need anyone to protect you - that's just how you were - and now you started to realize that maybe guys don't exactly like that. At least not Shaw.

Wait, what were you thinking? You scolded yourself as you shook your head. Why were you even thinking of what he liked when you don't even like him to start with. Or did you?

"Ugh. What the hell is wrong with me?" You groaned when a cold bottle of beer and a frozen glass was placed in front of you.

"I was gonna ask you that myself."

You straightened up in your seat and shot a look at the guy seated beside you. Dressed in a nice grey suit, he smiled as he raised his beer bottle in front of you.

"You look like you needed a drink. I hope the beer is okay. They don't have fruit beer or soda," he said calmly, his amber-colored eyes never leaving yours.

"Y-yeah. Beer is perfect," you replied while pouring the amber liquid into the glass. "Thanks," you muttered before raising the glass to your lips to gulp down some liquid courage.

"I saw you with Shaw earlier -"

The name on his lips drove you to a coughing fit, as you choked on your drink. "Sorry, " you mumbled in between coughs.

"No, I'm sorry," the brown-haired guy said, as he cautiously and politely patted your back. "I didn't mean to bring that up. I was just curious."

"It's fine," you replied when you finally regained your composure. "Yes, we're just classmates in Grad school who decided to check this exhibit out for the heck of it."

"Classmates, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what we are," you said, taking a sip off your glass. "Grad school classmates."

"Are you telling me or telling yourself?"

You looked up and saw him smiling. There was something about Dreamy McHandsome who was seated beside you that felt so familiar yet different at the same time, but you couldn't point a finger at what it was exactly.

"We're classmates, and we're working on our thesis together. But we're not friends - far from it even. We hate each other's guts."

"Can't blame you for doing so," he shrugged as he drank his beer.

"Yeah. He dragged me here so he can get with someone he's been crushing on for so long," you rambled on, frowning.

"Oh? And who might that be?"

"The Miracle Finder Producer. You know, the pretty girl in a blue top and white skirt. He's been going on and on about her for weeks…"

"You mean my girlfriend?"

His girlfriend. You choked on your drink once again. "Y-y-your girlfriend? You mean to say…" You gasped. Has the beer made you stupid? You've barely drunk half of it, you thought as you fought to regain your dignity. This was Shaw's brother you were talking to - and boy, we're they blessed with good genes…

… And the same social awkwardness, you noticed, judging by how he kept his hand at your back, but not exactly touching it, as if trying to assess if he had to pat you or not.

When you finally calmed down, he cleared his throat and gave you a small smile. "Don't worry. She talks to me about their conversations. I know what that guy is playing at, and I most definitely know he's not after my girl," he said, his voice broke no room for doubt. "My name is Gavin..."

"Yeah, I know…"

"You - what?"

"Oh," you said, tapping on your glass nervously. "Shaw kinda mentioned it in passing before."

"I see."

"So, what were you saying earlier about Shaw?"

"Oh. From what my girlfriend tells me, he's got his sights set on…"

"Ahem," you heard someone say loud enough for you and Gavin to turn your heads around. And there, standing behind you, was an angry-looking Shaw. You sat up, your gaze shifting between the two brothers as the air started to thicken with tension. "I talk to someone for a minute and the next thing I knew, my date walks out on me and right into the one person I'd hate for her to meet."

"Well, if you were just honest with her as with a lot of other things in your life, maybe she wouldn't have left your side earlier," Gavin retorted flippantly. "Is she finally done with filming?"

Shaw simply grunted in reply as he watched his older brother finish his bottle of beer and stand. "Well, Miss, there's a lot I've heard about you. Seems somebody couldn't stop talking about you, but I'll leave it at that."

With a wink and a mischievous smile upon his face, the brown-haired guy sauntered off to look for his better half, as you and Shaw watched in awkward silence.

He cleared his throat and glanced at you. "Hey."

"Hey," you replied, shakily.

"So, about what that jerk said -"

"Yes?" You asked, feeling your heart hammer against your chest by the second.

"Whatever he said is not true," he said dismissively, as he took his coat off and draped it over your shoulders. "I told you before, I don't find you the least bit attractive."

You felt tears starting to sting your eyes, as he continued with his harsh commentary. "You're tough, highly opinionated, and you always want to come out on top. I don't find those attractive at all," he said. "I prefer a damsel in distress. I want someone clingy… someone, needy."

"I know that -"

"Oh do you?" He teased, his amber eyes twinkling. "You seem to know a lot about me."

"We've been working together for months now," you said. "Of course, I'd know more about you."

"I see," he said, as he took a step closer to you and touched your cheek, rubbing the stray tear that had managed to slip down the side of your face. "So, you must know I'm also a good liar. After all, I've kept all these feelings to myself for quite some time."

He snickered when he saw your frown deepen and he bent down just as he had done so earlier, to whisper. "I made you think I liked someone else when in fact," his low voice made you shiver. "I've always eyes for you."

The End.

#mr love queen's choice shaw #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fanfic #mr love fanfic #mlqc shaw #shaw x reader #mlqc gavin #iris writes

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knaite-solo · 5 years ago

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Dear Lee - Zuko x Reader

Summary: After being rescued from prison, you discover that you fell in love with a lie.

Pairing: Zuko x DaiLi!Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 2105

“Hand me the prison keys.” Zuko ordered to the semi-conscious warden that he found in front of his uncle's cell.

Warden Poon was barely able to open his eyes due to the hard confrontation he had with Iroh.

“But, Prince Zuko…”

“Just do it.” Zuko didn’t even try to use a calm tone this time, even threatening Poon with one of his fists on fire.

With no other choice, the warden handed the bunch of keys to the prince. He no longer wanted any conflicts, mainly because he didn’t have enough strength to do so and also because he knew that his firebending was inferior.

With the keys in hand, Zuko began his plan, starting to free the remaining prisoners from the tower. Initially, his intention was just to free his uncle, but as he had failed to do so, he decided not to let the opportunity go in vain.

Most of the people who were there weren't dangerous, but very prestigious. Big business owners, high-ranking military men, former rulers. Even his uncle was only there and not in the Boiling Rock, as he was part of the Royal Family. Fortunately, thanks to this foolish choice, Iroh had benefited from the average security prison to escape.

When Zuko finally thought he had just opened all the cells, he came across one that was different from the others. It wasn’t surrounded by iron bars, but by large metal plates with a small window in the middle, apparently where meals were placed. Not even his uncle had been put in such a bad place. Could someone really be there?

With some caution, the firebender turned the key in the lock and subtly opened the door, placing his head inside the small gap he had opened.

“Hello?”

Unfortunately, Zuko identified someone lying in the back of the dim cell.

And that someone was you.

But since you hadn’t responded to his call, he was uncertain if you had heard him. So, the prince decided to enter the cubicle and shook you gently, trying to awake you.

“Hey. Wake up.”

It all seemed too confusing in your head when you started to wake up. A familiar voice rang in your ears and a small amount of light illuminated the cell, but the brightness irritated your eyes since you hadn't been dealing with it for weeks.

“Hey.” He called you again and then you finally remembered who that voice belonged to.

“Lee?” You questioned in an uncertain but hopeful tone.

“Y/n?” Hearing your name coming from his lips filled you with happiness.

Without restraining yourself, you wrapped the prince in a tight hug and he reciprocated you a bit shyly since he didn't expect that demonstration of affection, much less to find you in a place like that. But you didn't care about his shyness. Just having him in your arms was good enough.

“I'm so happy that you're okay, Lee.”

You called him Lee again. After all, he was Lee to you.

For you, he was the guy from the teahouse you used to go to after your earthbending training. The guy who had caught your interest so suddenly that when you noticed you would show up to see him even when there was no reason to.

For you, he was the guy who made you laugh even when he didn't mean anything funny. He had such a weird and grumpy way of looking at things that you couldn't help but think it was cute.

For you, he was the guy who had taught you a bit of swordsmanship and when he wielded those double swords, you were even more attracted to him. He always seemed to dance with them. And he made it look so easy when you knew it wasn't.

For you, he was the guy you had your first date with. In fact, you weren't even sure if it was a date, but you always treated the memory with the amount of affection you think it deserved.

You couldn't forget when you had dinner with him and he yelled at one of the waiters, apparently a little embarrassed by a silly comment. You also couldn't forget how you tried to hold his hand and he allowed it, walking with you like that for a while. You couldn't forget the fountain where you took him to and how the candles magically seemed to light around it. It was the perfect place and the perfect time. You could almost feel that he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him. And suddenly, he left, leaving you with a coupon for the teahouse he worked at.

Shortly after that small step in your relationship, you graduated as part of the Dai Li. You wished you could protect your people and you felt that that was the right way to do it. You had grown up in the Lower Ring and aspired to bring some justice to this region. It is a pity that you got it all wrong and chose the worst way to achieve it.

Before joining the other agents, you had a last cup of tea at your favorite spot. You already wore the typical Dai Li costume and you expected the farewell to be kinda hard. But to your surprise, that day, Lee didn't show up, just his uncle. You said goodbye to Mushi and asked him to deliver the message, but it always hurt you that Lee wasn't there to hear it in person.

So, you met again. And you had so much to say to your dear Lee.

“Why didn't you come to say g-”

“Not now.” Zuko interrupted you a little roughly, but it wasn’t intentional. He just was in a hurry. “I’m sorry. We need to go before they find us.”

He cautiously broke away from your embrace and lifted you, pulling you by your hand. However, you were so weak from the hard days in prison that you almost fell backward. Fortunately, he reacted quickly and held you tightly by the waist so you wouldn't fall.

“What’s wrong?” Zuko asked worriedly.

“Nothing. Let's go.”

You broke free from him politely, trying to prove that you were well enough to walk alone and get out of there on your own, but deep down, you knew it was all just a lie. You had been tortured during so many days that you didn't even know how you could still speak. You didn't even know how you could still pronounce the word hope. Perhaps it was the fact that you were from the Earth Kingdom. Your people were known for being enduring and strong and so were you. You had to go on despite everything.

“Let me help you.” Zuko offered again but you denied.

However, when you started to leave the cell for the first time in weeks, your body again lost its balance. You were so thrilled to finally be able to touch something other than cold metal walls that you didn't look at your steps. Until warm hands held you again.

“Please, I just want to help.” He practically begged this time and you could feel his hands tightening around you.

“Fine.” You said it reluctantly, knowing that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Zuko was pleased to finally get your consent and cautiously, he put one of your arms over his neck, supporting your weight against his body. The prince could easily carry you on his back, but he knew you were a proud person and would be offended if you were treated that way. He wanted to give you the proper respect. After all, you were a fighter just like him.

“Now, can you tell me what happened?”

Zuko wanted to ask that question since he found you in that cold, dark cell. It never crossed his mind that you could be so close to him and he never noticed. And if it weren't for his change of heart, you might have rotten there and he would never know.

He wanted to know why you were in that tower since you weren’t a relatively important person.

He wanted to know why you seem to be a thousand times more mistreated than the other prisoners he had released. You could barely walk without stumbling and that didn't match the determined person he met at Ba Sing Se.

He couldn't help but look at the injured extension of your body. All he could see was a large number of bruises, burns, and marks. You looked like a macabre work of art and probably the artist of this work had a mind as macabre as.

He wanted to ask so much. Zuko was immensely concerned about your condition, but at the same time, he was more concerned with how he would say he wasn’t who you thought he was.

“Fire Nation happened.” You finally responded sarcastically. “Do I really need to tell you that, Lee?”

Zuko didn't dare to say anything. Every time he heard his false name, everything seemed to get worse. So he decided to go down the stairs with you in silence. If he could take care of your safety by pretending to be Lee for a while, then he would do it.

“Why are you wearing these disgusting clothes?” The red suit with golden details annoyed you a lot since it looked a lot like the clothes of that woman you despised so much.

Zuko remained silent. You couldn't help but be irritated by his attitude, but you knew you were dependent on him at that moment. You could either adapt to his sudden silence or return to your unhappy cell. Although even if you wanted to return, Zuko would never let you go back.

You finally made it out of the tower and your eyes shone with excitement. How long have you been since you breathe some fresh air? You were so happy that you would have jumped, screamed, and even danced a little if some guards hadn't shown up.

You quickly let go of Zuko and placed yourself in front of him.

In your mind, you were stronger than him. You were the person who had been blessed with the ability of bending. You were also the person who had been trained to be an elite fighter and serve Ba Sing Se, even it was all a big fat lie. You couldn't change the fact that you joined Dai Li and were manipulated to do bad things, but you could use your strength to do things differently from now. And so you would protect Lee.

You took a rigid stance and levitated some blocks of earth. You were ready to attack until you hear them communicate with Lee.

“Prince Zuko!” One of them spoke up trying to communicate with the man behind you, but that didn't make any sense. He wasn't this Zuko guy.

A woman ran towards you with fire daggers in her hands, but that didn't make you back off. You knew you were superior and even if you weren't, you would force yourself to be.

When you tried to throw the rocks at her, you were stopped, with your hand being held behind your back.

Only one person would be close enough to you to act that fast.

“Lee, what are you doing?” You tried to get loose in vain.

“I’m sorry.” Zuko whispered.

Before you could answer or try to earthbend something with your feet, Zuko threw you over one of his shoulders, almost like you were a sack of potatoes.

"Stop."

You didn't understand why he told you to stop until you realized that the order wasn't for you. He was talking with the guards.

“But, prince Zuko, she’s the Dai Li agent that princess Azula-”

“I don’t care. I’m ordering you to stop.”

You couldn't understand anything anymore. Why did Lee seem to have authority over those guards? Why weren't you being attacked? Why were they constantly calling him prince Zuko?

“I’m afraid we can’t, Your Highness.” The guard with fire daggers replied.

And then, a battle of flames started.

You were outnumbered. You knew that Lee was good with swords, but that would be insufficient. You would have to fight. Only you could defend the two of you.

"Lee, please." You practically begged, pulling his shirt with as much strength that you could.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. For everything." And when he started to firebend, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

Lee never existed.

Maybe I will write a part 2 since I liked this theme so much. Please let me know in the comments if I should continue. Suggestions for the next part are also accepted! To this imagine, I inspired myself with the song Natalie - Milk & Bone.

Request made by @bucky-blogs Thank you so much for requesting this!

Since English isn’t my native language, please be kind. Any criticism is appreciated.

554 notes · View notes

catzula · 4 years ago

Text

》 Kiss it better

a/n: 200 followers guys, thank you so much for that! I feel like I should do something to celebrate, but I have literally no ideas. If you have any suggestions, please tell me!

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem!reader

Warnings: Bullying -a lot-, angst, tons and tons of fluff

》Synopsis: You, one of Nekoma’s cheerleaders, made a bet with the captain of the Nekoma Volleyball team, that they’re going to lose to Aoba Jouhsai in the upcoming match. And- you’re failing chemistry.《

"Sensei, please don't do this." You begged. "I really want to go!"

Your teacher's eyes wandered on your pleading face, and she sighed.

"I don't get any say in this. You're failing chemistry, and if you don't pass this make-up exam, I can't let you go to the match."

You knew her answer was final, so you sighed, trying not to cry. This was supposed to be your first match, and you couldn't even go! "At least let me attend the training? Just so that if a miracle happens, I'll be ready?"

She shrugged. "If you think you can pass the exam and attend training, why not? I don't really care what you do, to be honest, as long as you pass."

Yeah, that's not happening, you thought but held your tongue.

"Oh, come on, don't look so grim. You're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll do it."

Though it did feel nice having her believe in you, you just couldn't be as positive as she was, but you managed to fake a smile. "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be okay. I still have to go back before I'm too late, though." This was the first time you were going to train in your cheerleading outfit, and you were too excited to see it on yourself.

She sent you a sympathetic look as she ruffled your hair slightly and went her way. You sighed. Chemistry was something you just weren't able to comprehend. Regardless of how much you studied that damn subject, you could swear you just got worse.

You quickly changed into the bright red two-piece outfit, it had black stripes on the sides and a big NEKOMA right on your chest. The black and red skirt was a little too short for your liking, but who were you to complain? You were just happy you even got to wear it.

"You're late." The captain told you as she saw you entering the gym. The rest of the team was already in their places, practicing, but stopped when they too noticed you.

"I'm sorry, I was with sensei." You apologized with a smile. "What did she say?" She asked, her large, green-blue eyes looking at you curiously. She was the same age as you, though she had a way of making you feel... smaller next to her.

"I- uh..." You looked at the girls that stared back at you with slightly narrowed eyes, making you feel a bit self-conscious. "I- I'm failing chemistry, so I have to take the exam next week. She told me I can't go to the match if I fail."

You thought the topic would be over, but apparently not. "And?" She asked, confusing you with the question. "And?" You repeated.

"Are you going to fail?" She questioned, looking at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I hope not." You faked a giggle, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of the girls, judging you.

"You should tell us if you're going to fail, you know. So that we can add you to the choreograpyh."

"O-oh, don't worry." I'm sure I'll do fine." Oh, you were anything but sure, though you figured it was better if you didn't tell her that.

"Good. Then get to your position. You have the choreography memorized, right? Last time you were a bit... sloppy." You tried to ignore one of the girls giggling. "Yeah, I know it all by now."

Finally, she smiled. You weren't sure if the smile was genuine or not, but just seeing her smile made you feel relaxed. "That's really nice, Y/N-chan!" She clapped her hands to gain attention. "Now, let's start before the volleyball team comes."

Everybody knew that was the opposite of what she actually wanted since her crush on the volleyball team's captain was now more than known, but you chose not to call her out. You knew she wasn't a fan of you already, so it was better to keep your mouth shut, you decided.

You didn't know why, but the girls seemed to have something against you since they always did their best to exclude you from things, though you tried not to think much about it.

When the captain started to count, you stopped thinking and danced along instead.

***

"Aah- that was tiring. She's too ruthless sometimes!" A girl from your team exclaimed as she sipped on her water, eyeing the pretty captain. The captain was known to be one of the prettiest girls in school and was frequently asked out by guys, though most were aware she only had eyes for one man. It had been a big surprise to everyone when Kuroo had rejected her, though.

Almost every girl in school had a crush on Kuroo, thinking of him as this cool, cold guy that had rejected even the prettiest girl in school, but in reality, he was just too busy with volleyball and his lessons. To be fair, you wouldn't have known he was a huge dork either if you weren't in the same class with him and had this weird friendship/arch enemy thing going on, either.

You weren't exactly friends with him, though. More like bickering constantly, but also having weird inside jokes. You were close but also...not friends. Maybe that was why the girls didn't like you, since you always argued with the guy they wanted to date. But it wasn't your fault he was too much fun to tease!

Teasing Kuroo was something you couldn't stop yourself from doing, and you weren't the only one that liked to make fun of the other, since Kuroo always managed to pick a fight with you, too. It wasn't genuine arguments, more like challenges, dares and bets, -you joining the cheering team was a dare you had with Kuroo, too- and because of the constant challenges you had with their captain, the volleyball team loved you, too.

"I think they're coming!" A girl whisper-yelled, causing everyone's eyes to turn to the door. She was right since the loud laughs, footsteps, and jokes were hard to miss as they approached the gym door.

Kuroo was the first to enter, his hair as messy as ever, one of his arms was on Kenma's head, just showing how much longer he was than him.

You watched as Kenma's eyes averted to the big group of girls watching them, his eyes widening with anxiety as he turned his gaze immediately to the ground, causing his hair to fall in his face and hide him.

"Oh, hey Kuroo-Kun!" The captain exclaimed with a bright smile as she went towards them, hopping like a bunny.

"Hey." He greeted her back, the sleazy smile on his face causing your heartbeat to double, even though you didn't want to admit. "I thought you said you were going to be done with training by four." You knew Kuroo didn't mean it negatively, though the captain looked like she was panicking, looking around frantically to find a good excuse.

"Ah, w-we have a newbie, you see. We kinda had to move slower for her to catch up." She finally answered as her eyes found yours, though instantly turned back to Kuroo's cat-like ones.

You grimaced at the sudden attack, trying to stop yourself before you blurted out that she was lying. You understood why she would do so, but you hated it when people used you in their lies. "Oh, a newcomer," Kuroo muttered, his eyes wandering in the room lazily, as he tried to find your figure. Of course, Kuroo knew you were new in the team, he was the one who challenged you in the first place, but the cheerleading team didn't know that, and neither of you had the intention to tell them.

"She just came, so she's still pretty slow." The captain continued with a small giggle, her words making your heart sink. It was true, you were new, but you had been practicing the last few weeks, and you had almost caught up with the rest, so it wasn't fair of her to say so.

Though Kuroo seemed to pay her no mind, instead, he walked towards you with a grin on his face. "New meat!" He joked -it was really bad, though you managed to force a laugh out- and the captain followed him, now both standing next to you and watching your every move like animals watching its prey.

Kuroo seemed like he wanted to chat with you, though before he could do so, the captain sighed. "Though we're not sure if she's even going to be able to come to the match."

Your eyes narrowed, but you chose to stay silent.

"Why is that?" Kuroo asked, confusion evident on his face with the sudden and unwanted information. "Oh, she's failing chemistry, so sensei didn't let her come to the match."

"If I fail the exam, I won't be able to come." You added when she talked about it like you had already failed. "Oh, yeah! That's what I said." She told you with an innocent smile.

You would have said something, but before you could do so, you heard the familiar sound of a volleyball hitting the ground. The captain's eyes gazed at Lev, who had just done a spike and was screaming victoriously. "Guess that means our time is over." She giggled like what she said was funny.

"The practice is over girls, go get some rest!" She ignored the grunts of relief coming from your team and turned back to Kuroo. "You know, it was nice seeing you. Don't you think we should do this more often?"

You really didn't want to hear them flirting, so you went to change your clothes without saying anything to them.

***

You were the last one to finish changing and stepped out of the room as you tried to detangle your headphones. You were so concentrated on doing so, that you didn't even see the boy leaning to the wall, watching you.

"Hey," he muttered, making you shriek in surprise. The way your widened eyes looked at him, he couldn't help but giggle.

"What the fuck, Kuroo!" You exclaimed, trying to get the shock wash away as you breathed deeply. "Hey, I'm the 6'2 (187 cm for people like me hehe) one here, how should I know you're dumb enough not to see me?"

"How should I know you would creep up on me like that?" You shot back, and although you knew it was kind of your fault, you weren't going to admit that to him.

He looked at you with a fake I'm offended look. "First of all, I didn't creep up on you."

"Then what are you doing here?" You asked, though your voice was a little softer this time. He hadn't actually waited for you, did he? No, he wouldn't do that, unless...unless he wanted to tease you about the chemistry thing.

You sighed as you finally understood why he was here, looking at you with that lazy smile and taking your breath away in the process. "Ah, look if you're here about me failing chemistry, please shut it." You told him as you rolled your eyes. "The captain already had a lot to say about it." You murmured, your words not really intended for him to hear.

"Well," his hand went to the back of his neck, blush dusting his cheeks ever so slightly, his odd hair falling to his face, making you wonder what would it feel like if you were to run your finger through them. Would it be soft? Spiky? Or maybe-

"I was actually going to tell you I could... uh... help you with that, ya know." The lazy smile now resembling a little boy's grin, you would have thought he was embarrassed if you didn't know better.

Your narrowed eyes found his, trying to understand the motive behind his words. " What do you mean, help me with that?"

He giggled at your question. He had an expression on his face, one you were so used to see, though couldn't yet understand what it meant. It kind of looked like he wanted to ruffle your hair and pinch your cheeks, but not quite. "Help you with chemistry, how else?"

You bit your lip, trying to find out what he was up to. "And what are you getting out of it?" You finally asked as you gave up trying to understand him.

"I’m a good person too, you know." He told you with a huff, he still had his teasing manner, though. "Can’t I be doing this out of my goodness?" If it were anyone else saying this, you might have believed them, but not with Kuroo. Sure, you joked around and teased each other, but your whole friendship -if you could call it that- was based on challenges, bets, deception, and who would trick who.

"No way I'll believe that. I'm not dumb, you know." You murmured the last bit since it kind of bothered you since it seemed like everybody thought so.

"Though you're failing chem, arent you?" He teased, causing you to send him a glare. "I-"

You were ready and steady to fight with him over that comment, but he only giggled and put his hand on your shoulder as if he was trying to steady or calm you. His hand was unconventionally warm, fingers calloused and hard, though it didn't bother you the slightest bit. It was rather scary how much you enjoyed his touch.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He told you, laughing as he shook his head side to side. "You're too easy to rile up, ya know? I'm offering to help since it's me who challenged you to join the cheering team, so you might kind of say it's my fault at this point."

When you kept looking at him, he furrowed his brows. "I'm telling you I'm just feeling guilty! It's nothing too complicated." He looked rather hurt at how suspicious you looked.

"And?" You pressed on, knowing too damn well it wasn't only his conscious that led him to reach a helping hand at you. There had to be something else.

He sighed finally, obviously giving up. "And- I kinda wanna see you cheering for me." He grinned. "Call it 'satisfacting my ego'." He only grinned wider when you shot him a disgusted look.

"I knew there was something else." You just muttered.

"Eh," He shrugged. "I'm gonna need every boost I can have if I'm going to play against Oikawa." He said it so casually, you couldn't perceive what he said for a second or so.

"You're- you're playing against Aoba Jousai?" You blurted out, mouth agape. You hadn't even realized till now that you didn't even know who they were playing against. Clearly, he was thinking the same thing.

"You didn’t even know? And you're supposed to be our cheerleader." He clicked his mouth in a disapproving manner and shook his head side to side.

You ignored his remark. "There is no way you can win against him, you know."

He snickered at your blunt response. "I see you've become especially good at cheering and motivating."

You grinned. "Shoot me for telling the truth. It's Oikawa we're talking about."

"And? What about him?"

"He's one of the hottest and most talented men around, and you know it." You told him as you watched his grin fade to annoyance. "He's not hot!"

"No need to get all jealous, Kuroo." You giggled when he grimaced. "Me? Jealous of that- that... guy?!"

You shrugged just to piss him off.

"Well then, what will you do when we beat your oh-so-great Oikawa?" His playful grin was back, now wider than ever, and it pissed you off, how good he looked.

"Is that a bet?"

"Of course it is." He answered, like it was only normal.

"I'm not betting against my own team!" You exclaimed, feeling your cheeks heating up a bit. How did teasing him come to this, anyway?!

"What will you do?" He pressed on, and you were aware he wouldn't let it go until you bet with him, so you sighed as if you accepted defeat. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hmm," He tapped his chin as he considered the choices (he had been trying to make this bet with you for a week and had been planning how to get you to agree to it, it was surprisingly easy, though, since he was a mastermind at planning and stuff, even though he didn't show it much). His honey-colored eyes glistened when he decided what he wanted you to do. "You're gonna wear those cat ears for a week."

By those cat ears, he meant the ones that were a part of the cheering costume but were excluded since they were too hard to dance with. The first time you tried them on, Kuroo had laughed ten minutes straight and would've taken a photo if you hadn't ripped them off your head and threw them right in the middle of his face.

"Oh, it’s on." You shot back without thinking much about it. "Only if you wear them a week if you lose against them, too, though." You added with a smile that warmed his heart.

"Deal." He grinned.

You had no idea that he had been planning this for a long time, so what seemed like an innocent, fair bet was actually almost guaranteed you to lose. The penalty was the first thing he had thought about the bet, the rest came later to him, so he was literally planning how to get you to wear those cat ears for... a month. Not that you needed to know about that, though.

"Deal." You smiled.

***

You watched as Kuroo jumped, so high, that it made you wonder if he could secretly fly. His hand up in the air, coming down so fast to spike the ball. A grin was on his face, knowing damn well what you were probably thinking, as you watched him.

He smacked the ball with so much force, you gasped. You always knew he was strong, and he was fast -he was the Nekoma team captain, after all- but you never knew he was... this good.

When he landed back on his feet, looking at your flustered face was the first thing he did. Your mouth still slightly agape as you watched the ball that was now on the other side of the court, Kuroo thought it was one of the cutest things he saw.

"So," he asked with a cocky grin, "Still think Oikawa is better than me?"

You stood silent for a few seconds and then looked at his golden eyes. "Are you kidding me?!" You exclaimed, and just when he thought he was finally going to see you admitting he was, in fact, better than that Oikawa guy, you chuckled. "Oikawa could murder you, Kuroo. Don't get too full of yourself."

"What?" He asked in a rather cold voice that sent chills down your spine, though knowing it was just Kuroo, you ignored the threatening tone. "Don't try to intimidate me with that look, you asked the question, so you should be prepared for the answer, too."

"Did you- did you not see my spike just then? It was amazing!" You shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, knowing he was fuming inside. He was going to keep on arguing, if it wasn't for Lev, who was cheerfully calling out for you.

''Y/N-san, could you throw me some balls, too?" He told you when he came next to you in two long strides.

"Sure-" You answered, but Kuroo interrupted. "No."

It was the threatening, cold voice he used that always managed to frighten Lev, just a little bit. "But Kuroo-san! She's been throwing you balls the last hour!" He whined, making you giggle. "He's right, you know. It's only fair if I help him, too." You told Kuroo, desperately trying not to laugh when you saw him pouting.

"No! He can work with Kenma, I'm the one that's helping you with chemistry, aren't? So you should help me with this." He told you, his hand pulling you away from Lev and closer to himself.

"You're the one who suggested helping me! And you forced me to throw you balls, too."

You shook your head side to side when Kuroo ignored you. "Lev, you either go practice spikes with Kenma right now, or you're running laps the rest of the practice."

You saw Lev's eyes widening as he hurriedly walked towards Kenma, though muttering to himself, "This is no fair. He gets to practice with the pretty girl!"

Kuroo took another ball from the basket and gave it to you, though he was still pouting. "I can't believe you were really going to choose him over me. You should be happy you're getting to practice with me. But no, it's always someone else, isn't it?" He mumbled under his breath as you bit your lips to try and not laugh. You knew he was only joking, he always was.

You sent the ball to the air, just a bit over his head as he jumped and hit the ball, harder than the last time, and with the sound of his hand hitting the ball, you also heard a pained grunt coming from him.

He sat on the floor, clutching his hand to his chest, and you felt your heart beating rapidly in your chest at the sight. "K-Kuroo, what happened? Are you okay? We should go to the infirmary!"

You tried to get him to stand on his feet, but he shook his head side to side, rather pulling you to sit down next to him. "I'm okay," he told you with a small smile. "It came straight down on my finger, so it hurts a little, but it happens more than you would believe. I should just bandage it, putting some ice on it would help, too."

Hearing it wasn't a big deal did have its effect on your crazy heartbeat, slowing it a bit, but you were still worried more than you would like to accept. You stood up, quickly gathering some bandages and ice, and walked back to him.

As you took his hand and analyzed the finger, you noticed it was only a bit red and that he was right, it wasn't a big deal, but you were still mad at him. "What the fuck, Kuroo?!" You muttered angrily as you pressed the ice on his hand, he hissed with the sudden contact.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" He shot back.

"You have to be more careful! What if something else had happened? What if it wasn't just okay with ice and bandages?! The school and your team need you, you know they do!"

You sighed when he stayed silent. "I thought you wanted to beat Oikawa, and you can't do it injured. You want to wear those cat ears, I presume?" You joked, and he smiled.

"So you think I can beat him if I'm not injured, huh? I think it's you who wants to wear the cat ears."

You noticed your mistake, your cheeks burning slightly, but chose not to answer him since you knew he would just tease you further if you did. "Here you go, it's all better." You told him when you were done with bandaging.

"Aren't you gonna kiss it better?" He asked with a teasing grin, and you rolled your eyes. "In your dreams, you big baby."

"But it still hurts, Y/N! It can't get better if you don't kiss it! The team needs me, you said it yourself!"

"Kuroo," you groaned, but he just pointed at his cheek. "Come on, no need to be shy." That jerk and his stupidly good looking grin. You weren't really sure why, but you leaned in, your face getting closer to his cheek. You only noticed what you were actually doing when you were so close to him that you could smell the light scent of smell mixed with his natural, woody scent.

"You stink." You lied.

"But you were about to kiss it better!" He whined as you stood up, and internally screamed at yourself for actually considering kissing him. "Shut up, I'm tired. Just text me when you're done with the practice." You told him as you walked to the exit, you needed the fresh breath of air.

***

"I deem you beyond hope. These are the basics of chemistry. How -the fuck- are you so bad at them?"

"I don't know!" You groaned for the millionth time. "I just can't do it, okay?" He rolled his eyes when you pouted. Maybe you were acting a tad too childish, but no one liked to be reminded of how dumb they were, especially not from a guy as hot as him.

"Okay, okay." He finally said when you kept pouting. "Let's take a break." He didn't miss your cute smile when you heard the word 'break'.

"How are you so bad at it, anyway? You're not as bad in the other subjects..." He then realized he had no idea how your other subjects were. "Right?" He asked, this time a little less confident.

"No." You told him with a glare. "It's something between me and chemistry, we just don't get along." You sighed, and without thinking much about it, you added, "chem is a mystery to me." Not expecting his eyes to widen and gasp at your small word game, you quirked your brow. "What?"

"Did you- did you just do a joke?!" He looked so genuinely shocked, you pouted.

"I am capable of joking!" You answered his accusation, noticing his grin. "Huh," he mumbled, "Since you never laugh at mine, I thought you just didn't understand them."

"I'll strangle you, Kuroo." You answered though you were smiling. "You were about to kiss me an hour ago, what's with the attitude?" He teased, and he thought it was the best thing, how horrified you looked at the accusation.

"I- I didn't- I wasn't going to-" As you choked on your words, he was having the time of his life. You faked a cough to try and hide how flustered you were, a pathetic attempt, really.

"Huh? You weren't going to kiss me? Is that what you're saying? Are you a liar, too, Y/N-chan?"

"Kuroo, shut the fuck up." You mumbled when you finally found it in yourself to form words. "How rude, princess." He giggled, dropping the topic and not even realizing the effect the pet name had on you.

"Don't call me that, jackass." You tried to be as rude as you could to hide the soft part of you showing, but he noticed, he always did.

"What, princess?"

When you didn't answer him, he grinned and leaned a little closer to you. "Is it making you excited, princess?"

"No way!" You blurted out. "Why should I get excited over you? It's just- weird." You answered, and he didn't press it on, though you could still feel his mocking eyes on you, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

***

"Hey!" You called out when you saw one small and one abnormally tall silhouette. "Kenma, Lev, could you guys help me out a bit?" You had two large boxes on your hands, hiding your face from them, but they instantly knew who you were.

"What are you doing?" Lev asked as he took the larger box from you, Kenma was holding one of the small boxes you had left behind to get on a second trip.

"Oh, it's the cheerleading equipment, they asked me if I could take them."

"All of them?" Kenma asked, a brow quirking questioningly. "Yeah, you know, being new and stuff I guess." You told with a little giggle.

"Yeah, no." Kenma told you with a monotone voice. "It's not being new and stuff, and don't think we missed how they're acting towards you." He looked at Lev. "Even he noticed it."

"Hey, what does that mean?!"

"They're not the kindest people around, that I admit." You answered. "But it's not unbearable, so..." You sent him a cheeky grin.

Kenma shrugged. "Whatever you say, just know what they're doing is not normal, and it's probably just gonna get worse."

You knew he was right, but the topic made you uncomfortable, so you just shrugged.

***

Hanging out with Kuroo was fun, you had to admit. Even though you were just studying, it was too much fun.

"How are you feeling? Are you stressed? Do you think you're ready? Do you think you'll pass? Oh my god, why am I so stressed?!" Kuroo blabbered on as he shook you by your shoulders with every word. "I'm okay, Kuroo. I'm feeling pretty good, actually, I think I'm ready."

He looked at you with worried eyes, though they looked a bit more relieved than they were just then.

"Okay, then. Go break a leg? Is that what you're supposed to say in situations like this?" Oh, shoot. Did he have to look so damn cute, worrying over you?

You chuckled as you shrugged, ignoring the warm feeling spreading through your body. "I'm not sure. You knew you didn't have to come all the way here, though, right?" He had insisted that he was going to drop you to the exam, and wait until you came back. He said he might even buy you a slice of cheesecake after if it went well, and who were you to say no?

"I wanted to come." He looked at his phone screen to check the hour. "Okay, you have to go now, but I'll be right here."

You weren't sure why, but that sentence filled you with a confidence you never knew you had. You felt like... you felt like if he was right here, supporting you, you could even overcome your greatest enemy, chemistry.

"Y-yeah, okay." You mumbled, turning around to go to school, but stopped when he suddenly shouted, "Wait!" You turned around, worried there was something you forgot -there was always something you forgot- but your worries died when you saw him grinning.

"Aren't you gonna ask for a good lucks kiss?"

"Oh my god, Kuroo." You rolled your eyes, once again turning to go, but this time he didn't let you walk away, not without a hug. "Well then, here's a good luck hug instead." As you felt his long arms around your body, you froze in your place, forgetting to even breathe.

He was warm, not a disturbing warm, though, the kind that caused you to smile, that made you feel safe, that made you think if he kept his arms around you, nothing bad could happen. So instead of pulling back, you wrapped your arms around him too, closing your eyes with the feeling and not even realizing that you were nuzzling your face in his neck.

You didn't notice the relieved smile that was on his face when you hugged him back, since he was half-sure you were going to push him away, he closed his eyes too and wrapped you even tighter, trying to etch this feeling in his mind so he could remember forever.

You could feel his face touching your hair, your bodies pressed together, you wondered if he could hear how hard your heart was beating. When he pulled back after a while, you felt a bit disappointed that it ended but hid that expression nonetheless. Now you couldn't stop thinking just how good he smelled and felt.

"Uh, thanks for that, I guess." You told him with an awkward giggle. "Sure thing, all you gotta do is ask, princess." He told you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes and walk away.

***

Kuroo was a man of his word, so he waited two hours on exactly where you both had hugged each other.

When he realized he could still feel your lingering scent when the wind blew slightly and smiled, Kuroo knew he was in deep. He had never meant for it to go this way, he liked this weird thing you both had, constant teasing and challenging each other. He had no idea when he had caught feelings, but Kuroo wasn't a simple man, he knew that when he had feelings towards someone, it was too damn hard for him to let go.

He couldn't stop thinking about the hug that had passed just then, how you felt between his arms, how amazing you smelled, how good of a fit you two were.

So when he saw you exiting the school, he couldn't (didn't) suppress the smile that was forming on his face, and it only grew wider when you smiled back.

"How was it?" He asked when you came towards him. "It was gre-" Before you could finish your sentence, you found yourself pulled into a tight hug once again, though this time you didn't fight it one second.

"That's very nice to hear." He muttered into your hair, and you giggled. "I remember a promise about a cheesecake." You told him with a cheeky smile when his arms let go of your figure, that looked tiny next to him.

"Huh, cheesecake? Nope, can't think of anything related to that."

"Kuroo!" You whined.

"What? I don't even like cheesecake! How could I have known your exam was going to be okay when you suck this bad at chemistry?" He protested.

He still took you to eat cheesecake, and not only one slice, but as much as you'd liked.

"So, you're gonna cheer for me, huh?" He told you as he watched you chew on the giant piece of cake you had just gotten in your mouth. You could swear he was only asking questions when you were chewing, cause it was a little too often his questions had caught you munching on food, at this point.

You glared at him as he shot you an innocent look, he grinned like a mad man the whole time you tried to swallow your bite. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet." You finally answered.

"You can't tell me you're going to cheer for that Oikawa guy." He huffed, though you knew he was damn serious at his question. "No, I'm going to cheer for Lev." You shot back, and he groaned.

"You're forgetting that I'm paying for all these." He grinned, causing you to choke on the bite you just took. He laughed and passed you the water, watching you drink it down.

"Yeah, you're right." You told him with a cheeky grin.

***

"Oh, shit, I'm so fucking stressed, I'm going to die." Yaku mumbled. "You don't have to be stressed, Yaku-san! You practiced so much, I know you're going to win!" Your captain cheered excitedly. (you forgot about her, didn't you, haha)

Huh, you thought. Maybe Kuroo was right about you sucking at giving motivation.

"Thanks." Yaku mumbled with an awkward smile, trying to escape from her overly cheerful manner.

"Kuroo-san, how are you feeling?" She asked as she walked towards him, making the girls in your team giggle with anticipation. "I'm okay, thanks." He mumbled, his eyes searching through the crowd, stopping when they found you. Without even noticing that the cheerleader captain was talking to him, he walked towards you with a mocking grin on his face.

"I need to get my good luck kiss before I go on the court, you know. And this time, I'm not settling for a hug." It might have been something you could laugh at, if you weren't in public and both of your teams weren't looking at you, mouths agape, eyes widened with shock.

You could hear Kenma face-palming himself.

"Sh-shut it, Kuroo! It's not the time for teasing." You told him, feeling your cheeks heating up.

"Come on, just one kiss." He continued as he leaned in, caging you and leaving you breathless. You knew he was joking, but no one else did, and sometimes, you weren't so sure either, especially when he looked at you like that.

So you did the best thing you could.

You ran away.

Not bothering to look back or answer his questions, you ran until you couldn't see him. You had no idea how you were going to explain this to your team, especially to the captain. She didn't like you already, and this was probably just going to make everything worse.

So you stayed there until you heard Nekoma being called out on the court, leaving the room half-heartedly, scared of what you were going to face.

You could feel the lingering eyes on you, hear the whispers following you, and you did your best to ignore them, but you knew you could break down crying any second now. When you saw the captain glaring at you, you bit your lip, trying to focus on the dance.

You could feel the boys looking at you to see if you were okay or not, trying to get you to look at them too, but you refused to do so since you were a little scared of what you would see.

Though the whispers and glares toned down and died when the game started since the game took all your attention. You watched as Kenma passed the ball to Lev, he jumped so high and hit the ball so hard, you gasped. The ball passed between Aoba Jouhsai and Nekoma, neither of them looking like they were going to accept losing.

You could see everyone giving their bests, even Kenma looked fired about the game, Lev blocking the ball like his life depended on it, Oikawa using tricks and strategies that just amazed you.

The game was breathtaking, every touch on the ball had you gasping, making you sit on the edge of your seat, turning your knuckles white.

The only times you could hear the whispers running after you were the times there were breaks, and the cheerleading team was dancing on the court.

Wasn't this supposed to be fun? It felt like torture, instead. You could feel your teammates nudging you with an elbow every once and then, causing you to lose your balance, snickering when you stumbled. At this point, you were just counting minutes till the game ended.

Kuroo must've noticed something was wrong since, at one point, he started to wave at you until you saw him, and when you looked at him, he sent you a thumbs up as if he was trying to ask if you were okay, not noticing he was the problem.

You just plastered a smile on your face and nodded your head, trying to make him go back to the game. He sent you a cheeky grin in response, now more determined to win more than ever.

The game went on, and it was finally the third and the last set. To give the team more of a boost, the cheerleading was going on on the side of the court.

You would've enjoyed this, you really would, if it weren't for the now rougher pushes you've been getting from the other girls. It was starting to hurt, you had to admit, and not only physically, too. No one liked being laughed at, especially when they had no one to help them get through this, and you were feeling more alone then you have ever felt before.

Though all your thoughts disappeared when you saw Kuroo jumping with all his might and hitting the ball Kenma had just sent him. The ball went straight down, without anyone on the other side of the net being able to receive it.

He had scored the match point. They won, you realized.

Your eyes wide, hands up in the air, shaking the black and red pompoms in your hand as you cheered with the rest of your team, beaming with happiness.

You suddenly noticed the cat-like eyes on you, and your eyes found him too. He was grinning widely, everyone around him screaming with victory, and it somehow felt like the time had stopped as you looked at each other. His arms were wide open as if he was inviting you for a hug, his lips were moving like he was trying to tell you something, and you focused your gaze on is lips, narrowing your eyes and leaning a bit closer-

You felt a sharp pain on the side of your body, leaving you breathless for a second or more, making your eyes water, and because you were leaning forward and your focus was fully somewhere else, you couldn't find your balance, falling forward.

You would've fallen right on your face if you hadn't put your hand on the ground in instinct, but now it was your hand and your ankle which had twisted badly when you fell, that had taken the blow. You looked up, just to find one of the girls looking at you with an uninterested pout, though you weren't sure who it was that had pushed you.

You could feel your eyes stinging with tears unshed, your ankle and wrist throbbing with pain, and it wasn't even the pain that caused you to tear up. You felt so self-conscious, falling in front of all these people, in front of him, you wanted to run away.

Trying to stand up, you gasped as you felt the pain in your ankle, just making the stinging in your eyes and the lump in your throat worse. You knew you would've fallen once again if it wasn't for the sudden support under your arms.

You couldn't recognize him for a second with the cold, almost scary look he had on his face, his eyes looking threateningly sharp as he helped you stand on your legs, walking you out of the gym.

Neither of you talked until you were finally alone in a room, and he had sat you on the bench. He sat right next to you, and the silence was unbearable, but you knew the second you attempted to talk, you would break down crying.

He somehow seemed to know that, so instead of trying to make you talk, you felt his hands wrapping you in a tight hug, and that was when you lost control over your emotions. You couldn't help the tears running down your face, wetting your cheeks, the sobs shaking your body between his arms, your arms hugging him even tighter as you replayed everything in your mind.

"I'm sorry," you managed to mumble between your sobs, "I'm so sorry, Kuroo." You didn't know why exactly you were apologizing, maybe it was because he had to be here with you instead of celebrating his victory, or maybe something else.

You stopped apologizing when you felt his hand touching your hair so softly, you almost couldn't feel it. "Shh," he whispered, "it's okay, no need to be sorry."

You nodded, you weren't even sure how long you stayed in that position, but you had already stopped crying when he talked again. "Are you feeling better now?"

You nodded, not even trying to pull back since it felt too good to be between his arms. His hand was still caressing your hair, though it was a little different this time since you felt something sliding between your hair, something that suspiciously felt like a headband with a pair of cat ears.

You tried to suppress your smile, but couldn't, so you just giggled. "You asshole." You mumbled and felt the laughter bubbling in his chest.

"I love you too, princess."

Epilogue:

You were sitting on the couch as Kuroo gathered the snacks. It was movie night, though as you surfed through the channels, you found something even more interesting.

"Baby, come quick! It's live from Oikawa's game." You told him as you watched the game a little too closely, Kuroo noticed. As an attempt to keep his girl, Kuroo sat right next to you on the couch, an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You could feel him pulling you closer and closer to himself every time you gasped or cheered for Oikawa until you were almost on top of him.

"Tetsu, are you jealous?" You finally asked, desperately trying to hold yourself from laughing at his pouting face.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?" You were going to say something, but he answered his own question. "Because my girlfriend is far more interested in a guy on tv than her boyfriend that's sitting right next to him?"

"I'm not interested in him!" You protested, trying to ignore the amazing spike Oikawa just did, but he noticed it. Pouting and looking away -though not attempting to get away from you whatsoever- he looked like a little boy.

"Ah, come on, you know you'll always be my number one." You told him with a giggle, and you knew when you pecked his cheek with a light kiss, he couldn’t stay mad at you.

"You know, you really hurt my feelings there." He muttered though he was grinning as he leaned his face closer to yours.

"Did I?" You asked with an equally cheeky grin, and he nodded, now even closer that you could feel the heat radiating from him.

"I kinda need you to kiss it better."

Kiss it better, you did.

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