#but Kate is like. no I’d never hear the end of it if the Doctor found out. and it’s just rude he is a UNIT employee

[kurishiri]

11 . . . alfons main story (with letter)

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: passing mention of non-consensual touching, consumption of alcohol.

In the end, after we made a mess of ourselves in the shower, we were faced with our clothes, which was also a mess — just in a different way.

Alfons: The prospect of wearing these clothes again... don’t you just loathe to imagine it?

And with those words, we spent the night in that room, nude.

When morning broke, we had new clothes delivered to us, courtesy of whatever happened during the night before,

and while batting away those evil hands that only knew mischief, I put on the clothes before we made our way back to the castle.

Alfons: So, how was it?

A: Care to tell me whether I looked like I was enjoying myself while indulging in pleasure with you?

Kate: ...!?

His question was so direct that the next moment my face burned up.

All I remembered from last night were our breaths and lips, and the sensation of our bodies rubbing together...

Kate: I-I’m still not sure.

Alfons: Well that’s disheartening to hear. In that case, it seems we will need to do even more naughty things.

Kate: Wh—!?

Alfons: But alas... I plan to sleep today away. I won’t be waking up until tonight, so do what you will and like, dear exclusive fairytale keeper.

A: Dare I say, though, I would imagine you could catch up on sleep as well. Perhaps doing so would do you good as well?

Just like that, as always, Alfons left there.

(...It seems Alfons’ goodbyes are always one-sided.)

In fact, so much so that I felt it wouldn’t be strange if he just disappeared right before my eyes the next day, much like an illusion.

It was almost as though he was distant from everyone.

From the friends he played with at night, with Crown——and of course, me as well, seeing as we’ve just met too.

(...I feel like I shouldn’t try to delve deeper into Alfons’ ‘truth’ any more than I have.)

There was not a single doubt in me that I would only end up getting hurt.

Such a premonition, filled with certainty, left a mild pang deep in my heart, but I pushed it down.

(It’s just as Alfons said——‘this relationship will end after only a month.’)

(So if he takes my heart too...)

Kate: .........Only painful memories will follow.

The words I murmured seemed to warn me, and they made my heart hurt more than I thought.

But I pretended like such pain was never there, and walked with brisk steps.

(It’s going to be okay. Because I... I don’t like Alfons, one bit.)

—— Perspective change; in the lounge ——

Roger: ...So what happened to ‘I plan to sleep today away’?

Alfons had just downed his first glass when Roger came in.

Alfons: ...Goodness, eavesdropping on other people’s conversations like that, I know of no ability more distasteful than yours.

Roger: Hey, I just happened to be around to hear. It’s not as though I activated it just to listen in on you guys.

A crease formed in Alfons’ brows, clearly unamused, before he spared a glance at Roger’s hand.

Alfons: Having a beer in the middle of the day, I see? What a lament indeed, seeing a doctor neglect his own health.

Roger: To be fair, I did pull an all-nighter last night. And besides, I’d say I’m infinitely more healthy than you, at least, seeing as you’re drinking a gin in the middle of the day.

Roger lightly swung his beer jockey before he downed some.

And after making a sound from his throat in satisfaction, he turned to Alfons once more.

Roger: ...So, how’s it going? I bet you’re pretty taken by Kate.

Alfons: Why of course I am.

A: She is a little robin who had haplessly fallen into a den of evil, she’s honest and pure, having done not a single evil deed before... or something of that nature.

A: I hardly come across such interesting playthings, you know.

Roger: ...Hmm?

His voice seemed to hold some hidden meaning to it, and he narrowed his eyes sharply at Alfons.

Alfons: ...Did I say something strange?

Roger: It doesn’t look to me like you’re spending time with her out of that sort of ‘interest’ anymore though.

R: Isn’t it as simple as you just liking her?

Alfons: Would that be your opinion as a doctor? Because unfortunately for you, you’re sorely off.

A: You see, there’s not an ounce of the thing called love in me.

Roger: Is that so? Because to me it seems like she’s taken quite an interest in you.

Alfons: Ahha! Were you expecting anything else?

A: Our relationship is simply a diversion that will last but a month.

A: So, even if there’s no love to be seen, at the very least it will remain something to enjoy, to be sure.

Roger: ...Okay, then don’t egg her on too much.

R: You’re probably teetering on a real thin line right now between something serious and some ‘sick diversion.’

Alfons: ...hah.

It was probably the most dry sigh he had let out up until now.

Alfons: Just when in the world have you become such a good-natured person?

—— Perspective change ——

When Alfons and I returned the next day, we were informed of the good progress made regarding the previous mission in the impoverished parts.

The collusion between the director of the almshouse, who had supervised that evil group,

and the director of the orphanage who was responsible for that huge stack of corpses we first saw was brought to light, and as a result——

The name of a certain gentlemen’s club allegedly turned up.

Kate: When you say ‘gentlemen’s club’... that means entrance is restricted to members, and it’s only open to those who have been acknowledged even among high society, right?

William: Yes, that’s right. It refers to lodgings, restaurants, bars, and libraries that only members have access to...

W: And prominent figures from each industry gather there, seeking to make personal connections with one another.

W: There’s a high possibility that one such club is responsible for the massacres occurring in the East End.

W: Allegedly, they take pride in being a club of ‘purification’... or ‘cleansing,’ so to speak.

(‘Purification’...)

With London’s population swelling, the divide between the wealthy and the poor also grew.

Hunger gave way to disputes, and disputes led to tragic incidents.

And when newspapers made a lot of noise about it, there were people who took a glance at the darkness of this city and held a eugenic mindset,

thinking that ‘the poor were born to be criminals.’

(But... there is no one who would not mind people being killed just for living.)

The people who tried to run frantically to escape from the knives pointed at them indiscriminately.

The people who clung onto the illusions Alfons gave.

How the scene I watched through the lens of an illusion made my chest hurt.

(If they really think that killing people who have done no wrong indiscriminately is an act of ‘purification’...)

(...then what severe haughtiness they have.)

—— Flashback ——

Alfons: If there are children who die without being known by anyone out there riddled in the world,

A: then it goes to say that there are also those that believe this to be nothing more than cleaning up garbage from the street corners where the dropouts gather. That’s just how it is.

—— End flashback ——

(...I wonder if Alfons lived in such places,)

(where he could tangibly feel such incidents were happening to these people on his skin.)

Truth be told, I was scared of once again facing the cruel things happening in the East End this time.

(But, now I want to witness it to the fullest...)

Such feelings blossomed from within my heart.

Victor: In order to capture the mastermind behind this, we would need to infiltrate this ‘purification’ club... however, that would be easier said than done.

V: Many gentlemen’s clubs are restricted, and because they’re aware of what they’re doing, they will be especially cautious of others.

William: ...And that is why, Alfons, we would like to entrust you with this infiltration.

(...!)

Alfons: Your wish is my command. I happen to be quite proficient at deceiving people and slipping in.

This was a dangerous mission where we would have to head straight into enemy territory, and yet here Alfons was, laughing without a care in the world as he accepted the mission.

(And since Alfons is assigned this mission... that means I, too...)

(This time for sure, I will witness the mission until the end and record it as his exclusive ‘fairytale keeper.’)

Alfons: Ahh... and what of Miss Kate?

William: Seeing as she’s your ‘exclusive’ fairytale keeper, it seems you have no choice but to take her along.

Kate: ...Alright.

For a moment, the barbaric events by the ‘purification’ club flashed in the back of my mind,

and I felt like fear was about to crawl up from my legs, but after a scolding at my weak spirit, I raised my head.

Kate: Uhm, but how will we be able to get into the gentlemen’s club? I’m pretty sure women are unable to enter, right...?

William: That won’t be a problem with Alfons’ ability.

W: He can easily make them believe those without membership are members of their club, just as he can also make them believe a woman for a man.

Kate: ! I see now...

Alfons: Oh, Miss Kate, there is no need to force yourself to do this.

His voice spoke right in my ear.

I didn’t even need to turn around to know Alfons was right beside me, his lips near me as he laughed.

Alfons: If you’re scared, you are more than free to go kill time at a nearby café. We can always touch base afterward then.

(I mean, he isn’t wrong in that I am scared, but...)

[1] I don’t want to run away.

[2] I have a responsibility.

[3] I want to help you. (+4 / +4)

Kate: Even if it’s just a little bit, I want to be of some help to you in solving this case.

K: So please, let me come along. I’ll catch the evidence together with you.

Alfons: I hold nothing but amazement at just how serious of a person you are...

William: Hehe, you’ve become a brave little robin, haven’t you?

Kate: Alfons, I look forward to working with you.

Alfons: ...Goodness, whatever am I to do with you.

His smile seemed somewhat troubled, with a hint of exasperation and tenderness, making my heart skip a beat——

(I don’t like him, I don’t like him.)

I chanted this over and over in my mind like a spell, driving away the sweet feelings bubbling in my heart.

Alfons: Well, since it cannot be helped, I’ll take you along.

A: Now isn’t this something to positively look forward to? An infiltration into enemy territory, just the two of us.

A: Just imagining what sorts of dangerous things we’ll run into has me giddy now.

And so, on a moonless night——

(...To think we really could get in without any trouble at all.)

At the reception, Alfons used his ability,

and when he said that we were members, we slipped into a hotel that was exclusive to members of the purification club.

In case something happened on the inside, Lord Elbert and Roger were outside on standby.

Kate: Alright, let’s go, Alfons.

As I stepped forward with resolve, he lightly tapped my shoulder, and...

Alfons: I must say men’s clothes suit you quite well, Miss Kate.

He then blew into my ear, as though teasing me.

Kate: W-what do you think you’re doing...

Right now, I was wearing a suit and pants, along with a thick overcoat to hide my figure.

And I had also tied my hair, tucking it in the overcoat, as a hat couldn’t fully conceal my long hair.

But if I got outed by anyone who wasn’t under the influence of his ability, the plan we came up with would be as good as gone.

(If I let out a cry or something, people might find out I’m a woman!)

Alfons: Hehe... you were so positively stiff as a stick out of nervousness, so I thought to help you loosen up a little.

Kate: Then can’t you do it in a less risky way!

Apparently, the word ‘tension’ just did not exist on any page in this man’s dictionary.

Kate: Do you even understand what we came here to do in the first place?

Alfons: But of course. We are to obtain proof that this club is responsible for the string of incidents. If we can pin down exactly who is behind this, that would be ideal.

A: But if we can get concrete evidence that they have given out orders to initiate these incidents, then the police can be dispatched.

A: In the event we are unable to do so, however, then we must set aside any lawful methods,

A: and opt for the veeryy bloody judgment from Crown instead... I suppose this sums it up?

Kate: Well, as long as you understand!

When he explained the plan without missing a beat, I was rendered at a loss for words.

Seeing me like this, Alfons mirthfully narrowed his eyes before straightening himself.

Alfons: Now that that’s sorted out——

A: How does having a drink sound?

Kate: Wha—? You do know this is a mission, right!?

He was heading toward the bar lounge, so in a panic I tried to stop him, when he turned back to me with a smile.

Alfons: Shh... of course, this is for the mission.

A: Whether in the big heap of rubbish of the slums, or in the neat and pristine high society, we humans all have one thing in common.

Kate: And that is...?

Alfons: Of course, that would be how loose-lipped we become when we consume alcohol.

to be continued…

I do look forward to it

I am most excited to do an infiltration investigation, just the two of us.

The possibility of being outed as a woman through your men’s attire and having to roleplay this and that for lascivious members in exchange for their silence...

Or perhaps opening the doors of a gentlemen’s club in name only, only to find obscene debauchery spread before your eyes...

I daresay it’s these sorts of absurd happenings that actually contribute to the fun. Would you not agree?

Ahh, but if there ever does come a time when you are struck with fear, you are always free to say ‘actually, I won’t accompany you any further.’ I won’t mind that at all, actually.

After all, there is not an ounce to gain from exposing yourself to the grotesque evils that lurk within England’s society or knowing the schemes of a serious murder case.

I do so reckon that relaxing at a café while enjoying a most delicious lemon drizzle cake would have been better suited for a little robin like yourself.

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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment, send an ask off anon, or dm to be added or removed!

[cipher-fresh]

I do have to object to the novelization of the Giggle saying that the Doctor bought his own house in London with his UNIT salary. The Doctor would never be responsible enough to vacuum or buy groceries and stuff. The Doctor should be the Noble family’s unemployed housecat who wakes up at 12 noon every day and plays video games on the couch

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Mad Love Chapter 23

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there

Royal Hospital doctor: With our numerous experiments, we doctors will advance medicine in Britain. It will certainly make our country prosper. You’re a doctor too, aren’t you? Surely you understand our feelings.

They try to butter him up, only for their own sakes.

With their lives in his hands, Roger—

Roger: Yeah, I get it.

With eyes full of pity…

Roger: —I get that you’re all a bunch of damn hypocrites.

The anger permeating the air was stung.

Roger: For the sake of your country, people, the world. Those are all great causes with good intentions. But they’re not excuses to justify your cause. …That goes for the Privy Council too. You lot have a strong cause, for the sake of “Her Majesty”. Still, that’s not an excuse either for you to do whatever you want.

When I thought back to the sorrow I felt from the kidnapped youths back at the warehouse, I felt resentment well up inside me.

These people didn’t even view humans as humans.

(...Before we were almost killed, we were all called “silent offerings”)

Roger: I…No, we Crown and Kate have condemned you for all the evil you lot have done.

Since meeting Roger, I’ve confronted many evils.

Many were unforgivable and caused lives to be lost. There were even times when I cried and almost despaired. 

Roger: Every time we nip evil in the bud, I hear your filthy voices. “Sacrifices need to be made for the sake of our cause.” “No, they should be grateful for providing for us with their lives.” You think you’re gods…?

Everyone in the world is equal. Strip off our flesh and we’re all the same.

Despite that, people easily assign value to others and use that as a reason to take lives. 

Roger, who’s a “Cursed One”, had been fighting against this despair.

He understood better than anyone that the voices of “the Cursed”—the voices of the weak and the few, were laughably easy to drown out.

(I’ll always remember that look of despair in Roger’s eyes.)

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: …It’s laughable, isn’t it…? I swore to myself that I’d tame my curse. I wouldn’t let fate drive me mad like God’s whim. I resolved to never betray anyone unknowingly. ..And yet. You can’t fight it…just by your will alone?

Kate: …

Roger: Roger: Is this how I meet my tragic end? …Surrendering myself to my curse…

~~ End flashback ~~

Yet he stood back up—and fought against despair again.

(...The only thing I can do as Roger’s Fairytale Keeper and partner is to see this through to the very end. And)

Royal Hospital doctor: …Don’t act so arrogant! Just shut your mouth and give it to us already.

One of the people who was crawling stood up unsteadily.

Royal Hospital doctor: Hand it over…

Kate: …

He reached for the medicine box held in my hands.

But I immediately pulled out the gun from under my skirt and pointed it at him.

Kate: Stop right there. If you try to steal this from me…I’ll shoot.

(The only thing I can do is see this through to the end)

(And help Roger)

(Just like how Roger’s helped me so many times)

I placed a finger on the trigger—

I’ll send you to the afterlife immediately.

How does it feel to have your life in my hands?

Do you understand how your victims felt now? +4 +4

Kate: Do you understand how your victims felt now?

Royal Hospital doctor: Eek…Help, don’t kill me.

Roger: The youths you killed didn’t even get to beg for their lives. Don’t tell me you didn’t know.

I don’t know if I can actually shoot someone yet.

(I’m just threatening him, but…)

But it was enough to stop the doctor from trying to steal the antidote.

Roger: …

Roger smiled at me for a moment as if to say “great work” before grabbing the doctor by the head.

Roger: Listen, there’s no such thing as superiority or inferiority among humans. And that’s why I’ll never forgive anyone who uses their cause to justify devaluing human life. 

Privy Council Lord: …Then why did you make the antidote? Haha, you’re actually afraid of killing us, aren’t you? In the end, you Crown are all still Her Majesty’s lapdogs!

Still crawling on the ground, the Privy Council lord spat his words out like a curse.

Roger: A lapdog? Haha…I wish.

Roger took an antidote out of the medicine chest and popped the cap.

He then grabbed the Privy Council Lord by the jaw— 

Roger: Unfortunately for you, we’re savage dogs. I made this antidote so you wouldn’t escape through death.

Privy Council Lord: …Escape through death?

Roger: From now on, you’ll be spending a hellish time in eternity paying for your sins. You’d wish you were dead…

Demons aren’t just the ones that don’t view humans as humans.

They are also in charge of executing other devils.

(And it’s my duty as Fairytale Keeper to witness Roger’s sins)

Roger: If you don’t take this antidote, you’ll only have about 42 hours left to live. Now, make your choice. Have an unsightly death or live crawling through the depths of hell.

Royal Hospital doctor: …I’m in hell…either way…

Privy Council Lord: You…villain…

Roger: The best of them. I gave up living as a good person with an idealistic cause a long time ago.

For some reason, when I looked at Roger’s back, I saw “a way of life I didn’t have a choice in”.

A future as a “doctor who saved lives” that could never be achieved again.

…How much time had passed since that moment?

Looking as if they were given a ticket to hell, the doctors and Privy Council took the antidote.

They were scared of the “fear of death” that they had been continuously inflicting on others.

Roger: …

Roger watched on in silence.

There weren’t any words that could explain how he felt at the moment.

(However…)

I reached out for Roger’s arm which just hung there and took his hand in mine.

—Suddenly, unknown footsteps could be heard.

(Who…?)

Nica: Kind of selfish and unsightly for you all to be so scared of death after killing so many people.

Nica looked at them with indifference, as if he were looking at bugs.

Kate: …Nica.

Roger: …You again. How’d you get in here?

Nica: No need to look so scary. I’m just bringing some good news. Here, look.

Nica handed us a tabloid.

Kate: “Illustrated Police News”...?

“A shocking revelation! The intimate relationship between the Privy Council and the doctors of Gracefield Royal Hospital, and all scandalous evil deeds! 

The page was filled with a sensational article and portraits.

And the portraits looked just like the bad people before me.

Nica: It’s a pretty good article. Had a local caricaturist do some portraits. Then I put all the information together and submitted them anonymously.

Roger: You?

Nica: Did it under my king’s orders. It was surprisingly easy. Cheap papers like this don’t care much for authenticity. 

After seeing the news article, the faces of the Privy Council and doctors turned pale.

Privy Council Lord: Huh…Aaahh!

Nica: What, you’re surprised? From here on, the worst future awaits for you. Since you’re going to die socially anyway, wouldn’t it be faster to announce it to the public?

In a way, Vogel helped Crown’s condemnation.

Kate: W-why…

Nica: Don’t ask such a simple question, robin. We Vogel came to Britain to deepen our friendship. To quote our king—

--

Ring: Dari, this “Illustrated Police News”...

Darius: A present from us Vogel to help Crown’s condemnation. At any rate, this is a good article. Nica’s did his job perfectly.

Ring: If this gets out, those people…they’ll never be able to live a normal life, will they?

Darius: Yes, they won’t. That’s why the article was written.

Ring: …Sorry, I don’t understand…

Darius smiled lovingly at Ring’s honesty.

Darius: I suppose I’ll just have to explain it to my cute Ring. Regarding this matter, some members of the Privy Council and doctors came into contact with a method that would remove curses from the Cursed. Even if incomplete, information is information. To erase the memory, you either have them die—or be driven off to somewhere where they cannot be heard. For instance, being locked away in a jail cell for the rest of your life.

Ring: …That method’s just like you.

Darius: Hehe, is that a compliment?

The angelic man scrutinized the human as if looking down on him from the heavens.

Darius: I don’t have the ambition to get rid of curses—that just gets in my way.

Ring: What about Roger Barel?

Darius: Hm?

Ring: There would be no point if we don’t also eliminate Roger Barel, who knows how to get rid of curses.

Darius smiled at the honest killing intent he was fond of.

Darius: Yes, you’re right, Ring. However, we can’t eliminate him yet.

Ring: Why?

Darius: I’ve always wanted a doctor. We can invite him to join our family to stop his pointless ambitions.

It was like the whim of a god.

Darius: Ah, right. There’s one thing I’d like to ask you. It appears that Nica has given information to the Fairytale Keeper. That has saved her as well. Why do you think that is?

The aim of his whims were like lightning, you never knew who it would strike.

Ring: Perhaps Nica…wants to get rid of curses. …I can’t understand difficult topics. Besides…I don’t know what Nica’s thinking.

Darius: Hmmm, even though you’re twins?

Ring: …

Darius gently placed his hand on his crestfallen watchdog’s head while he was at a loss for words.

Ring: But Nica and I are on your side. Family would never betray family.

Darius: I see. Hehe, I’m glad. My family has good kids.

--

Roger and I ran after Nica after he threw the tabloid and left the jail cell.

Roger: Hey, older twin.

Nica looked back from the end of the corridor.

Nica: What? I’m not into having long chats with men.

Roger: I’ve been thinking about something ever since I saw you twins. …Have we met before?

(Huh…)

Nica: …

As I stared at the two in shock, Nica suddenly smiled.

Nica: Nope. Don’t have an irritating face like yours in my data. 

Roger: That so. Nevermind then, that was a strange question.

Nica shifted his gaze from Roger to me.

Nica: Oh, Robin. Congrats on clearing the game. Your expressions when you were fighting alone weren’t bad. Let’s play again if you’re ever in the mood. Bis bald (see you).

Kate: …Yeah. “See you.”

—The sound of footsteps leaving resounded.

Nica: …

As I watched Nica’s retreating form…, for a moment, his gaze turned to the window as if remembering something.

For some reason, that image left a lasting impression—

—It was like there was an inorganic memory etched into my heart.

~~

…Come, —come.

Now, come quietly! Subjects 404 and 405.

~~

Nica: …

--

“As Fairytale Keeper, I will write down the aftermath.

The Privy Council members involved were all dismissed and in addition to being under close surveillance, the Privy Council was drastically reformed. 

The doctors were all stripped of their medical licenses and dismissed, and the police became involved in an investigation at Gracefield Royal Hospital.

As for the criminals that Roger turned over to the police, they never saw the light of day again.

—That was the living hell that awaited them.

This is the entirety of Roger Barel’s condemnation.”

I stopped typing on my typewriter.

(Today’s exactly 1 month since that night)

Having kept Crown’s secret, I was released from my duty as Fairytale Keeper as promised.

To quote Alfons, I was officially free.

Being free meant that I could make my own choices.

Kate: …

I glanced at the clock and left my room.

—To choose what to do “from this point on”.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

This may be a weird request, but pls hear me out. Could you do something in the format of those headcanons you write for EM characters—like which planet they are associated with—but just describing the character and their role in the series/movie in like 2-3 sentences? Like a trivia of sorts. I’ve only seen HOTD, and while some of his chars can be googled easily, like Osferth or Tom Bennet, the ones like Genyen or Michael are very obscure to me due to not having seen the stuff they’re from yet, and there isn’t always a wiki page available for them. You being the #1 Ewan Mitchell expert, I don’t really know who else to approach with such a thing. Please & I’d be very thankful 🏵💞🍀

Yeah, I can certainly do that for you. Below the cut!

Abraham - features in only one episode of a long running soap opera called Grantchester. The main protagonist of the series happens across a Romani camp. Ewan plays a character who is engaged to a girl named Luella. Luella keeps disappearing off. When Luella's father won't tell Abraham where she's going, he kills him with a fireplace poker. It later transpires that Luella is having an affair with the farmer whose land they're camped on and she doesn't want to marry Abraham at all. He's upset, not only at the loss of his wife-to-be, but also because he was next in line to become leader of their settlement, and has ruined that by killing someone from their community.

Aemond - Second son of Viserys Targaryen and Alicent Hightower. Bit of a twat, resentful because his dragon egg never hatched in his cradle. Claims his dead aunt's dragon, and his nephew gets the arsehole with him and knifes him in the face for it. He loses hie eye, but puts a gnarly sapphire in the socket in its place. Kills his nephew for rocking up to Storm's End and cockblocking him, which starts a war within his family and loads of them die. Gets distracted by a big tiddy witch and spends the rest of the war slinging one up her until eventually him and his uncle commit murder suicide.

Billy Taylor - sweetest little treasure in the world. Works as a bell boy at a hotel called the Halcyon, which quite frankly ought to be shut down for its negligent business practices. Anyway, Billy is sweet on a maid called Kate. When a hotel guest assaults her, he pulls the guy's own gun on him and narrowly avoids getting the sack for it. His mum interferes in his drafting, because she doesn't want him going overseas to fight in the war, so he's stationed at the London army barracks manning the anti aircraft guns. Dies anyway, because he gets blown up.

Billy Washington - hopeless brother of boss bitch Lana Washington. Doesn't have a job, has been refused from the army and feels pretty shit about life. His girlfriend has left him and his flat's a shit state. Because of his mardy outlook on life, a fascist organisation is able to radicalise him and frames him for vandalising a Halal butcher's. They later plant a bomb in his car, with the intention of it going off when he gets out at Farringdon station, where an anti fascist protest is taking place. Lana intercepts him on route, and he drives to Cranstead Gardens instead. He panics in the car, not knowing what to do, and against all advice, ends up opening the door to get out, which sets off the bomb and kills him.

Ettore - on board a space ship with other death row inmates to try to find alternative energy resources. Essentially understood that it's a suicide mission, but the doctor on board is conducting heinous fertility experiments on everyone. They are not allowed to sleep with each other, but have a "box" that they can go into to masturbate. Ettore is generally considered creepy by everyone on board, and he is really perverted - lots of inappropriate staring, etc. One night, he sneaks into the cell of an inmate called Boyse and tries to rape her. When her bunkmate, Mink, tries to defend her he beats her up. Eventually, male members of crew are alerted and Ettore is beaten to a pulp. Mink then stabs him through the eye and he's chucked out of the airlock.

Genyen - Only in one episode of a soap opera called Doctors. Introduced in a Buddhist centre with a senior monk called Jinba. Jinba tells him to go out and collect money for the centre. A doctor from the series runs into him while he's collecting and feels sorry for him because he looks cold. He gives him his lunch and donates £20, which Genyen tucks into his robe instead of the charity box. Jinba sees and takes the money off of Genyen. At this point it seems as though Genyen is being mistreated by Jinba, and the doctor seems to think this too, so when Genyen wants to leave he gives him cash to help him. It then transpires that the reason Jinba doesn't want Genyen handling large sums of money is because he steals. He stole Jinba's bank card when he left and empties his bank account at an ATM. He is apprehended by the doctor though and the police are called.

Jack - from the short, Fire. Jack has an ability where the angrier he gets the more fire he is able to produce. His dad and him have made a living out of stealing cars. Jack runs away when he decides he doesn't want to do it anymore and his dad pursues him through the woods. Gets so angry his fire powers causes him to fell an entire tree.

Jason - from the film, Just Charlie, plays a guy hanging out at a play park. Beats up a girl when he finds out she's trans.

Michael Gavey - a student at Oxford. Befriends Oliver Quick because he believes him to be a social outcast, much like he is. Is a mathematical genius. Is quickly ditched by Oliver when he manages to befriend the more popular students. Incredibly abrasive, outspoken and looks down upon the popular students as he believes them to be "vapid cunts".

Osferth - King Alfred's bastard. Enrolled as a novice monk, but leaves the monastery when he's of age to join Uhtred, as his uncle Leofric had always spoken fondly of him. Not a particularly seasoned fighter, but brave in his own right and extremely loyal. Incredibly kind and maintains his faith throughout, but has some absolutely cracking one lines. "What is smite?" "Well, it's a word, isn't it?" Fucks like a dinosaur, according to the prostitutes of Winchester. Dies when he's stabbed in the side during battle, and it's honestly one of the most heart wrenching scenes I've ever watched in my life.

Poacher - from the short, Stalker, this film is minutes long and Ewan appears in it for seconds and says nothing. Plays a poacher that is in trouble for illegally hunting deer on private land. Just stands there holding a rifle.

Scott - from the film Stereotype. Literally only a voice part - a voicemail of Scott encouraging his friend to beat someone up.

Tom Bennett - a troublemaker that always seems to be attracting the attention of the police. He doesn't want to be drafted into the war, so decides to sign up as a conscientious objector. However, when it transpires that his latest crime is more serious than he realised, he enlists in the navy to avoid going to prison. Is stationed aboard the HMS Exeter and has a canary named Vera, which he takes bets for which ports she'll lay eggs in. Survives the Battle of the River Plate and it matures him. He's short in Dunkirk and ends up in a hospital in Paris around the time that they surrender to the Nazis. Is snuck out and across the Spanish border. In season two, somewhere on his way back home he stopped for a haircut that was administered by a lawnmower. His father died when their house was shelled and he blames his sister for it. He then goes back to war.

Will - from the short Salad Days. Robs people's houses with two of his friends. Discovers a gun in one of them and uses it to hold up a post office. Takes a worker hostage and his friends freak out and run away. He lets the guy go, but when his friend reveals he wants to go to the police about what they did, he beats him up because he doesn't want to go to prison or give back the money they stole.

[aslanscompass]

Power of the Doctor

Thoughts, rants, etc,

Time-Lord-Cybermen are stupid. I don’t even remember the details of the episode that established them, but they’re still stupid. Cybermen with Time Lord headdresses? Ugh?

aLSO, enough with the this is so cool moment and actually do the rescuing, maybe?

Syberia 1916. Location 1. Well, two. Gregory Rasputin, Rasputin is obviously the Master.

2022 London. Ace Which means absolutely nothing to new fans and odd for old ones

Hi Tegan. I mean, nothing specific that fits it. Ugh, am I weird. This isn’t making sense. My mind, I mean. But like, when Sarah Jane came back, it was in a way that fit her established character, as an investigative journalist. And teaming up Ace and Teagan is just odd. 

And Dan is far too insightful about his life. NOBODY talks like that.

At least she’s still smart enough to not trust daleks

Serioiusly, are you trying to sound like a parody of extreme right ring-ism? Because that’s how you ....

Mondas? are we finally getting Mondas in NuWho

Nobody has any subtly in Chibnail who.

Technobabble increased. At least it’s not an actual child. Stop rambling and pay attention.

Hi Kate. Love you, 

“You said a woman, you never said young.” Hillarious. But this is less wierd if I don’t see their faces and treat it as a Big Finish.

But it is weird that Tegan brings up age. Davison was youngest of the classic Doctors. And of course we have to replay the School Reunion vibes. Ugh!

“Do I win a prize if I guess how this all fits together or do we just have to listen to your grandstanding!”

‘“The day you die--” (I can’t wait. It’s absolutely past time for Thirteen to die)

Looked aside for five minutes and he’s in the TARDIS. wHATEVER

The Master actually had subtlty for a moment. Or at least more emotions than just surface. 

I mean, the Doctor physically shocked Ace and Tegan and then they SAID AS MUCH. As if we don’t 

“The last time I saw you, you were half cat.”

“A man’s allowed to experiment.”

--That’s a classic Master line.”

I’m not surprised that the Cyberman was a trick from the Master. It didn’t seem very Doctor y especially not this Doctor. 

oH COME on, I’d rather have the unsettling hatred of the Master than the emotionless Thirteen. Do you even have emotions? 

“Forced regeneration Doctor. To Force you to regenerate into me....”

What the fork? Is Tennant the Master now? Or is it 

So confused. Or is that Ncuti? No. That’s tennant? But wait, what? So confused. No in a good sense. Did we pick up the wrong one? Cause if they’re doing a swap 

“You’ll get used to me. everyone will.” Sod off.

The Tardis knows it’s the wrong time lord.

It’s so obvious wrong. Can’t you do osmething more like the Big Finish episode with the Daleks, where Davros mind-swapped with Six?

To quote Amy to 11″:  “You can’t just drop me off like we shared a cab. “ i HAVEN’T even wwatched Dan’s episodes and I feel he was done dirty.

Oh, so this is where we get the past Doctor stuff.

Hi One. Strength of Character? Bah, no character whatso ever.

“You can’t ruin it for the next one.” You already have, Chibs

I am a manifestation of our consciousness, I can wear what I like,

“It’s symbolic, obviously.” No duh,

I mean, they got a lot 

A very 9th Doctor end of era feelings.

Vidar? Why should we care,

The facial shift is creepy. 

fIVE SECOND background exposition.

I was upset not to see Osgood at first, but now I’m glad she’s not hear. Let’s stick with the BF audios please. 

Now this is more like it. Mentioning Adric. “Brave heart!”

I miss you classic who

“All children leave home sooner or later. The joy is to watch them fly.”

Ace and Graham.... where did they leave Graham? Earth, I thought.”

Come on, Kate, be yourself. You are being totally underserved her.No wobbly voice. 

course it’s an elevator shaft.

So, October 2022 is time for villieans to trigger volcanos, apparently.  First Sauron and now the Master

Ruth? I still don’t know who you are either.Okay, it is a hologram.

Safe is grossly overrated,

If I didn’t know for a fact whittaker is leaving, I’d feel majorly afraid that she’d be sticking around.

The celery matches so well with the vest

SHE DID NOT SAVE YOUR LIFE, REGENERATION ISN’T DEATH!

Pieta pagerism again. Ugh

And the boxes from End of Time apparently made a reapperance,

Like, despite despising Whittaker and everything she stood for,I sitll had a twinge when they carried her back into the Tardis.

There is absolutely no reason for Jodi to regenerate, 

cLOISTER BELL.. BECAUSE OF YOU.

i AM SO GLAD YAZ IS GOING. I can’t see you with any of the other regens

And now you’re going all tennent before tennant, because ‘more time.’ No more time for you. Nope. You didn’t use what you had welll.

and when did you have time to explain the whole reg thing to yaz? Please?

oh please. the only thing that makes this goodbye hurt is how flippin long it;s taking to to get to the point.

i HAVEN’T LOVED you, get out of here and save me some exasperation.

Like, I’m glad Graham and Dan are there for them, but this wrap-up is so cliche. AND THE sticky-note name tags. Let’s see-- I wannna read the name tags. Okay, we have Jo Grant. Love to see that. And Sarah Jane should be there, Ian too. But good lord, get on with it!

I know these teeth? WHAT? CLOTHES REGENERATING WITH HIM. WEIRDNESS

Like, I knew how that ended but still....

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter four

Chapter Four

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3.9k

from the beginning <3

Everyone at work was very understanding. Almost all of them saw it coming, he was taking more sick days than normal and he wasn’t putting up a fight anymore when the 30 days was required to take rolled around. They were profilers after all.

He arrives on Thursday morning to pack his desk. The team is finally home and all together to wish him well on his future journey, giving him hugs and kisses as they each visited his desk.

They had already replaced him, Will LaMontagne was giving the FBI a shot, finally. Spending more time with JJ, the kids were old enough now to accept both of them working. And Kate Callahan was back, now that her baby wasn’t a baby anymore either.

Even Penelope and Derek showed up, bringing a cake that said ‘happy retirement’ written across the frosting. They were happy for him, they shared the same excitement he had. There was a thrill in his eyes again as they asked him about his plans.

“Tell us about this Y/N you met,” Emily cut into the laughter to get to the serious topics.

“I’ve been going to the park a lot recently and I found this little reading nook by a pond. She was there with her daughter and they invited me over to their picnic,” he realized how fake it all sounded as he continued to speak. “Her daughter is wonderful and super smart, I took them to the Smithsonian on Sunday and I’m completely smitten.”

Everyone swooned, happy to see him finally finding someone that makes him gush like this. It had been a very, very long time since Spencer has told any of them about a person, let alone someone he was in love with.

“She is wonderful,” Penelope added, “she makes the best tea and she lives in a literal Disney movie.”

Spencer laughed, “yeah she does. They probably read more books than I have, they make so many references all the time and they even dress up for what they’re reading, it’s amazing.”

They were amazed by how giddy he was, unable to stop smiling at him, “here we dressed up for the museum, I was milo from Atlantis and she was the old man in Tarzan,” he pulled his phone from his pocket to show them the photo.

It was his background now, Y/N sent it to him when he finally went back to his place Monday night, knowing he’d miss them. Not wanting him to be alone.

He was beyond proud to show them the photo, beaming from ear to ear as they all complimented his attire.

“She looks like you,” Kate added, “must be the genius gene,” she added, making awkward eye contact with JJ as they both clocked it.

“She’s exactly like me, that’s why Y/N likes having me around, it’s good for Amoreena to feel normal with the way our brains work,” he spoke about her like she was his own. Forever grateful to have her in his life.

“So when are you proposing?” Matt teased him. Knowing the feeling of love like this all too well with his perfect wife and a handful of children.

“I’m not trying to jinx anything,” Spencer admitted. “I actually have a job interview at the Library she works at later, so I’ll be around here a lot more.”

“He’ll be moved in by the end of the month,” Tara smiled, proud of him and the courage it takes to follow your heart.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” he presses his lips together softly, nodding as he avoids eye contact with them. “But you can call me whenever you need my brain, I guess.”

Hugs were exchanged as Spencer had to leave, Derek even offered to drive him back to his apartment to help with 4 boxes of books from his desk, and to have a bit of a talk like they always do.

“It’s surprisingly easy to be a dad, all you have to do is be there and love them,” Derek shared a tidbit of advice

“She told me she doesn’t mind me being like Amoreena’s dad, but I don’t think I can yet. I want her to decide when she wants me in that role.”

Spencer explains his feelings the easiest to Derek. Like he was already in his mind and knew the thoughts before he said them, Derek was never mad or disappointed in him. He loved him fully, and Spencer loved him right back.

“Like when you chose Gideon?”

Spencer can only nod, it’s still too sad to think about him being gone. “You know what it’s like, you love your father but there are other people in your life who fit the role better.”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “You’re going to be great, regardless of the name she uses when she thinks of you.”

“Thank you,” Spencer smiled as they pulled up to his apartment, “you should bring Hank to meet the animals this weekend sometime.”

“He’d love that,” Derek smiled back at him, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’m really proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t first,” he admits. “You’re a strong man who decided to put his happiness first, I can be too.”

“You sure as hell can,” Derek wrapped him up in one last hug before sending him off to live that best life he was talking about.

The only person who didn’t know yet was his mother. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, he knew she’d be proud of him regardless but that anxiety of disappointing her never went away even now that he was 40.

“Spencer!”

“Hey mom,” he smiled when she picked up. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic, Marge and I are going on a walk later to see some ducks that were born, I really love it here Spencer,” he could hear it in her voice. She was much more joyful when she was surrounded by friends.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“you sound happy, what’s going on?”

She was his mother, after all, she could know exactly how he’s feeling from just hearing him breathe or being in the same room as him. It was like a superpower, she always knew what was going on.

“I met someone,” he can’t help but smile. “And I quit the FBI to have a family.”

“You’re kidding?” He couldn’t read her tone, not sure if she was surprised or disappointed.

“Her name is Y/N, she has a 7-year-old daughter named Amoreena who is exactly like how I was as a child, you’d really like them,” he explains and he can hear his mother's smile from his end of the phone.

“I would love to meet them, you can bring them to visiting hours next Tuesday?” Diana offered, genuinely happy for him in a way that made his heart burst.

“I’ll see if they’re free and I’ll let you know.”

“I love you, Spencer,” she reminded him. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“I love you too, thank you, mom, for everything.”

She hangs up before they can get too emotional, leaving Spencer inside his sad little apartment all by himself. Taking the opportunity to pack his overnight bag for Y/N and pick out some books from his collection to show Amoreena.

There’s an envelope sticking out of one of his books that manages to catch his attention, taking it out to see his name written on it in Gideon’s handwriting. He almost forgot he had this, how important the words were.

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. I’m sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. I’m sorry it doesn’t make more sense, but I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore.

I guess I’m just looking for it again, for the belief I had in college, the belief I had when I first met Sara and it all seemed so right.

The belief in happy endings. When you find that, never let it go, Spencer.

Don’t let this job do to you what it did to me, get out and get a life when you can. I have faith in you, till I see you again, take care, son.

Gideon

He walked over to the window then, seeing a beautiful red and brown bird perched on his fire escape. He couldn’t help but smile, “I found my Sara, thank you,” he whispers to the bird who turns its head to the side before flying off.

Gideon always did have the best timing and the best advice.

—

“Y/N, your one o’clock is here to see you,” the receptionist at the Library said over the phone, hanging up and returning her attention to Spencer, “she’ll be with you in a moment.”

“Doctor Reid,” he hears her voice as she rounds the corner, appearing behind a stack of books in the most beautiful blue dress he’s ever seen. “Lovely to see you again.”

“You too,” he smiles.

“Right this way,” she can’t help but smile as she escorts him to her office.

“I don’t normally consider people who don’t send in a resume, but I have a feeling you’re going to be good at this,” she teased him as he sat at her desk.

“Allison is going on maternity leave in a few weeks, so you won’t start until she has the baby. If you’re serious about wanting this position, it’s only Monday through Thursday, 9 to 2:30.”

“You’re not going to ask me anything?”

“I don’t know if you know this, but the literary historian and I get to spend a lot of time together, I’d rather hire someone I know I already like,” she smiled again. “And it would be nice to see you every day without a 7-year-old taking all your attention away from me.”

“You just want to live out the fantasy of kissing someone in the encyclopedia section, don’t you?” He teased her right back, making her blush. “I knew it.”

“Sue me!” She laughed, and he finally understood what tinker bell meant when she said farries are born from the purest laughter.

He was in love with her right then and there, he was sure of it.

It had been under a week and yet as he stared at her, hearing her wonderful laughter and seeing her beautiful smile, knowing she wanted to spend time with him, that she genuinely liked him and none of this was one-sided, it made him fall harder than he thought he could.

“Come on then,” he stands abruptly, taking her hand and pulling her out the door.

She tries to giggle quietly as she follows him all the way back to the quietest section of the library. Most of the books on the shelves didn’t even have bar codes because they haven’t been checked out since the 60’s, no one needs them but they can’t seem to part with them.

She backs up against the shelf and pulls him into her space, he drops her hands and holds her face instead, looking at her beautiful eyes as they sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.

“I was expecting this to be hungrier than this when I imagined it all for all these years,” she whispers, biting her lip to force her smile back.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” is all he can say, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly a few times before finally placing his lips against hers, ever so gently.

Her hands stretched around his back, pulling him in closer till their bodies are pressed together and then she’s kissing him deeper. Breathing in through her nose like she’s trying to keep him there forever, her fingernails dig into his shirt and he knows she wants more.

He slid his thigh between hers, opening his mouth to give her all the access she wanted and letting her take control of the speed. She wasn’t kidding when she said she expected it to be hungrier. She was kissing him like it was the first time she has had contact with another human being in years, and it just might have been. She said she was single for a while before Amoreena, probably the whole time since as well.

“Spencer,” she took a moment to gasp for air, breathing against his lips as he did the same. “Can we?”

He kisses along her jaw then, moving towards her ear to whisper, “do what? Use your words.”

“Anything, just touch me please, god it’s been 12 years,” she begged as quietly as possible, tugging at his hair as he nibbled on her earlobe.

He kissed down her neck making his way towards her chest. Holding her by the hips now, she arched her back into the shelf as he kissed all the way to where her dress started to cover her breasts but he didn’t stop. Kissing over her clothes as he dropped down to his knees in front of her.

He undid his tie, slipping it off his neck and handing it to her, “in case you need to scream into something.”

She held it in her hand for a second, registering what he just said and moaning softly in response as she held it closer to her lips, he took that as a yes and slipped under her dress.

She was wearing just a pair of regular cut pink underwear, not expecting this in the slightest when she got ready this morning. He kissed her over top of the fabric, spreading her legs so that he could kiss the insides of her thighs as she tried to desperately grind into his face. grazing his teeth against her skin as she shivers, thighs shaking in anticipation.

He kisses right where her clit should be under the fabric, knowing he’s correct when she whimpers around the tie he handed her. It's muffled and adorable as he kisses her again and again, knowing she wants more and teasing her gently.

He pulls her panties to the side, mesmerized by how perfect she is for only a second before returning to the task at hand. Being the first person to pleasure her in years, wanting her to have the best time possible.

With one hand he holds her panties back, using his other to slowly swipe a single finger through her folds to see just how wet she was. Smirking against her thigh as he’s able to slip right in.

“Please,” he hears her whisper, lifting the dress up so she could look at what he’s doing.

“Such a good girl for me,” he pressed the words against her skin.

He spreads her legs even further, resting one of them on his shoulder as he dives in, sucking her clit into his mouth abruptly as he pumps his single finger in and out. She jerks her hips at the sudden contact, stuffing the tie in her mouth and biting down as she whimpers.

He knows what he’s doing, where all the pleasure spots are and what feels the best on most women. Searching around and trying different tongue movements, memorizing the sounds she makes and attempting to hear them again and again, knowing it means she’s enjoying herself.

That’s all he wanted, to please her. Not even realizing how hard he was as he continues to eat her out furiously in the back corner of the DC Public Library. He forgets they’re even in public entirely as he moans against her clit, sending shockwaves through her body.

She’s quaking then, holding onto the top of his head with one hand as the other grips a shelf. She’s panting into the material of the tie, the hot breath making its way through the fabric and stopping the whorish moans he knew she’d make. It had been too long since someone treated her right.

He added a second finger then, wanting to push her over the edge as he curled them, finding her g spot and caressing it with every thrust of his fingers. She clenched around him then, a high-pitched noise left her mouth as she finished around him.

He couldn’t help but smirk, re-moving his fingers and cleaning them off in his mouth. Releasing them with a pop before dragging his tongue along her one last time. Gathering up everything she released and placing her panties back over her nicely.

He kissed over her underwear one last time before fixing her dress and standing up, “did I manage to fulfill the dream?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking like she was coming down from a real high, not just an orgasm. She pulled him in close and held onto him for dear life as she continued to catch her breath, and then her hand started to wander.

“Nope,” Spencer whispered, moving her hand away from his aching cock. “As much as I want to, I’d rather fuck you at home.”

“Home huh?” She teased him, kissing his cheek softly as she pulled back.

"I love you," he whispers against her ear, without a fear in the world that she didn't feel the same way.

"I love you too, Spencer."

They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, it felt surreal to be this happy. He kissed her a few more times, staying hidden in the back corner until the blood in his body let this dick and went back to where it was supposed to be.

She just held him in her arms, leaning back against the shelves as they kissed softly, running her hands through his hair gently, over and over. She whispered a few thank you’s to him, letting him know it was everything she waited for.

It was truly perfect.

—

Amoreena was so happy to see him back at the farm when she got off the bus, she missed him during the few days he wasn’t there.

She asked him to help with her homework, her teacher assigning them an “all about me” project to showcase their growth at the end of the year ceremony. It was almost June, she only had a few weeks left before she was off for the summer and free to show him around the whole kingdom.

Y/N brought out a box of craft supplies and a collection of photos. Showing Spencer every single moment of her and Amoreena’s life.

From her first sonogram to the first bump photo, she had and every maternity shot on the farm you could think of, to the day she was born, her first bath, first steps, chocolate cake shoved on her nose at her first birthday, everything. He felt like he watched her grow up in the blink of an eye, staring at all the photos while Y/N and Amoreena made a plan for her project.

She did look a lot like him, in some instances, she even looked like his mom. There was a look Diana would get when she was intrigued with something, or when she was trying to figure something out. She’d bite her tongue and tilt her head, and it was exactly what Amoreena did.

He never thought he’d see a child-like himself this early, he always expected someone to contact him at 18 and surprise him like Rossi. He really never, ever thought he'd have a child in his life who he was blessed with watching grow up. He never believed someone would have a kid so much like him and allow him to see the world through their eyes. He was amazed by how lucky he got, to be brought into an already happy family that wanted him, they didn’t just need him.

There was no need for a father in Amoreena’s life, she was happily living her life with her grandparents and her mother, explaining to him that she had a bunch of aunts and uncles, plus 15 cousins and they all lived close too. Her life was full of people to love her, and yet she wanted Spencer to love her too.

“Can I put the photo of us at the museum on here too?” She asked Y/N, looking at Spencer to see if he was okay with it too. “I already told my friends that you’re my dad.”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to cry in front of her so instead he just stopped all movement inside of his body and held it in. Looking at Y/N who was also a little emotional as Amoreena went back to looking through the photos.

Amoreena didn’t even notice how their expressions changed, she didn’t understand the weight of the words as she said them. She was oblivious to the hole in Spencer’s heart that she was filling with glitter glue, making him feel like he was whole again.

“Yeah,” he finally managed to speak. “I’d love to be on your project.”

“I know you said we don’t need dads but I kinda want one,” Amoreena’s soft expression made his heart melt even more. He was putty in her hands, willing to be whatever she wanted from him as long as he could.

“When did you say that?” Y/N asked softly, confused as to where she was when they had a conversation.

“The other morning at breakfast, um, my father left when I was little. It was just me and my wonderful mother until I was 21, then I found someone to call Dad. His name was Jason Gideon, he was my mentor and he made he feel like I was smart and loved,” he smiled, letting her know he genuinely meant it. “There’s a big difference between being a father and being someone's dad.”

“What’s that?” Amoreena’s innocent mind running wild as she tried to figure out his meaning.

“Anyone can be a father when two adults make a baby,” he said softly, making eye contact with Y/N as she blushed. Knowing where he was going with this. “But dads are special, they’re the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and loved. A person who you can turn to for advice and know he’ll love you no matter what you have to say. Dad’s are supposed to love you forever, regardless of what happens in life. Just like your mom does already.”

Amoreena leaned into his chest, pressing her head against him softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently, giving her the tiniest hug he’s ever given. “I pick you then, you’re the best guy I know and I think that means you’d be a good dad.”

Y/N silently cried, getting up from the table and walking into the kitchen so Amoreena wouldn’t see her sob. Spencer tried to widen his eyes so the tears he was generating would slip back into his tear ducts. Not wanting to cry as she held him.

“I’d love to be your dad,” he whispered, kissing her head softly as she held him tighter. “But first I’ve gotta check on your mom,” he whispered into her hair. Watching her pull away and look for where she was.

“Okay,” Amoreena shrugged, returning to her project as he wandered into the kitchen.

She was leaning against the counter when he walked in, her dress pulled up over her face as she cried into the material. Wiping her face as Spencer walked in and looking at him with the happiest smile.

She was laughing into her tears then, shaking her head as she sobbed, “why am I crying?”

He laughed then too, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around gently as she kept laughing. Her face buried into his neck as she smiled, he set her down gently so he could pull her into a kiss.

Her cheeks were all wet as he held her face, peppering kisses to her lips as they both tried to stop smiling.

“I’m going to miss hearing her call you Spencer,” Y/N whispered.

“Me too,” he giggled again. “But dad does have a good ring to it.”

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[juniorgman187]

Any Day Now (Reid Fic)

A/N: Plz imagine being impregnated by season 10 Spencer Reid. WHEWW CHILE

Summary: Reader’s pregnancy finally takes its toll on her, leaving both Spencer and Reader to navigate through rough waters from miles away.  Category: Fluff, Soft-soft-soft angst, One-Shot Pairing: (POV)Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Content Warning: Pregnancy Word Count: 3.2k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

At first, it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

Multiplied mood swings? Understandable, her hormones were everywhere. 

An ever-changing appetite? Great, at least now it wasn’t such a hassle for her to decide where to eat. 

A suddenly much tighter FBI vest? Well, that’s what the adjustable velcro straps were for. 

Again, nothing that I hadn’t already planned for. Even before I delved into parenting books galore, I had a pretty good general idea of what to expect. Not only because of JJ’s earlier pregnancy or Kate’s recent one, but more so because of my extensive knowledge of the human anatomy. This made riding the storm of (y/n)’s pregnancy easier ... until it didn’t. 

It was somewhere in her 35th week that things finally got the best of her. 

There was a linear increase of events that suggested things were taking a turn for the worse, so I slightly anticipated a steep decline to occur at any moment. For instance, soon after (y/n) started showing, I began to lose count of how many times I had to insert my hand between her seatbelt and her bump to create a gap just big enough so that the belt wouldn’t have such a suffocating restriction on her. Nor could I fully account for all the hours of sleep she’d lost tossing and turning, just trying to find a comfortable position where she wouldn’t be crushed by her own weight. And I certainly couldn’t remember, not even with my eidetic memory, how many times she’s almost walked out of the house completely barefoot after getting frustrated with her inability to put shoes on by herself. 

In some sad way, I knew she wished to regain some normalcy in her life. Not that she regretted motherhood, but that she wished she didn’t have to experience so many small inconveniences that summed up to something larger than the life she was helping come into fruition.

She just wanted to drink coffee again without running the risk of a miscarriage. She wanted to climb up a flight of stairs without getting winded by the first few steps. She wanted to put on a tight shirt without looking exceptionally overweight. And most of all, she just wanted to keep working.

If she had to go to hell and back to stay in the BAU while pregnant, then to hell and back she went. 

My wife, as stubborn as ever, had made me - and the entire team - promise not to baby her as soon as we revealed that we were expecting. 

“I don’t want any of that ‘but you’re pregnant’ crap, got it?” She narrowed her eyes darkly at all of us, pointing an accusatory finger. “Anything you can do, I can do pregnant.”

And from that day on, she did what she vowed to do, what I knew she could do. She still chased after unsubs, shot all the bad guys, arrested the felons, but eventually - inevitably - it wore down on her. 

The easiest effect I could identify was her drowsiness. It used to take her a while to fall asleep on the jet, and sometimes, she’d stay awake the entire flight. But after the grueling hours she’d endured during her pregnancy, we would barely board the plane before she knocked out. I think falling asleep in the seats gave her the comfort she couldn’t find lying horizontally in a bed. No one said anything, though, because she’d already made it explicitly clear that she didn’t want us to pay her any special treatment, which I understood. Nobody likes to be pitied, but after today’s incident, this went far beyond pity. 

It was just plain concern. 

“The doctor said I’ll be fine.” She grumbled, waving me away with a flick of her hand. However, seeing as she was currently lying in a hospital bed, donning a gown that only partially hid from me all the wires and pads that stuck to her body to monitor her health and relay it to the machines - she wasn’t fine. And I needed her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was the team. (I didn’t tell her this because she would’ve quite literally took my head off, but they were all out there in the waiting room instead of working on the case). 

“Emphasis on the future tense ‘will.’ You will be fine, but right now, you’re not.” I prepared myself to deliver the news I knew she didn’t want to hear. My voice became significantly quieter, reaching such a low decibel I wasn’t sure she’d even hear it, but maybe that was by design. She didn’t want to hear it as much as I hated to say it. “Maybe you should consider going on maternity leave now.”

Immediately, my wife shook her head with the biggest pout I’d ever seen. I could see it in the way her lip quivered that she was about to cry, no doubt because of the hormones, but especially because this job was her last piece of normality. She clung to it because it was all she had left to remind herself that she was still, in some capacity, the woman she was before. 

“Spencer, please.” She begged, as if I could do anything. “I’m not ready to leave yet.” 

I pursed my lips and looked away for a second to hide my own emotions. Seeing her cry was never easy, but being the cause for it made this even harder. I felt the formation of a lump in my throat and the pricking of tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I croaked. “But I can’t let you keep risking your health,” I explained, neglecting to voice the final part of that sentence. ‘Or our baby’s.’ But I didn’t say that. How could I? It would’ve only guilted her further. 

“Your blood pressure’s getting higher,” I explained, keeping my eyes steady on hers, not letting them stray to the machine that she clearly didn’t know how to read. But with one glance at the numbers, I already knew they weren’t good. I didn’t lead on just how bad they were, though. “You fainted today, and if you’d landed even a little bit differently, you would’ve ended up with a lot more than just a few scratches on your stomach.” That was the extent of my guilt-tripping. It didn’t feel right coming out of my mouth, but it was the only way I knew she would understand the severity of the situation. 

“You were already planning on going on maternity leave next week, what’s a few days earlier?” I asked, briefly referring back to her obstetrician’s recommendation of not flying after her 36th week. 

We both agreed that after week 36, she’d take her leave of absence since she couldn’t join us on the jet anyway. It was our ‘compromise.’ If she insisted on still going in the field, then she had to listen to the doctor’s orders and not fly for the last month. 

“Spencer,” She whispered again, this time with tears running down her cheeks at the bat of her eyes. With the pad of my thumb, I gently wiped them away, wishing I’d never caused them to be there in the first place. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

She never let on how difficult things had become for her. She never said it’s too much (and it must be too much some of the time). So when she finally admitted the burden her pregnancy had created, I could already sense its arrival. So without a second wasted, I pulled the guest chair right up next to her bed and sat in it while reaching for her hand. Despite the presence of the pulse oximetry on her index finger, I still took her hand between both of my own, not minding the gap that the device created. 

“You are the strongest woman I know. There aren’t many pregnant women out there who can do what you’ve done these past eight months. They wouldn’t even think of it.” We shared a brief laugh, which lightened the atmosphere enough to encourage me to continue. “You are bearing our child, (y/n). Nobody else gets to do that. Not me. Not another girl. Just you. It’s only you who can truly give for our baby right now and you’re -you’re my girl ... and right now, I need you to take care of our girl, okay?”

She nodded rapidly with still glistening eyes. For the first time, that day, she stopped thinking her job was as an agent and started knowing her job was as a mother. 

And a damn good one at that. 

_ _ _

If there was anything I’d learned over the past years, it was that I should never expect my wife to follow the rules. Today was no exception. 

She should’ve been in bed right now, taking it easy, but instead, she was standing right beside the jet, saying goodbye to each and every one of us before we boarded. 

This would be our first flight without her. 

“You take care, mama, okay?” Morgan told her, kissing her cheek before waving goodbye. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Kate sighed, engulfing (y/n) in a hug that I knew couldn’t have been comfortable with each of their bumps in the way, but they relished in it anyway. If I didn’t know any better, it looked like Kate was about to cry. Maybe that’s because their dynamic was different than any other. Their simultaneous pregnancies meant that they knew one another’s struggles far better than any of us could, so granted, it would be hard for Kate and (y/n) to be away from each other. They’d been in this journey together after all, in a way I couldn’t have been.

“Oh,” JJ sighed happily, taking (y/n) in her arms and swaying gently from side to side. “You are going to be the best mother ever.” 

“Said the best mother ever.” (Y/n) remarked, laughing bittersweetly. It was something in her smile that let me know it was just for show. 

Then, in one of the rarest moments of history, Hotch hugged (y/n), earning a slightly more real smile from her.

“Get some rest. You deserve it.” He whispered. 

Not even a second after they pulled away did Rossi wait to take (y/n)’s face in his hands and plant two kisses, one on either cheek. 

“If you need anything, you call us.” He ordered, mimicking a drill sergeant.

And though, I wasn’t ready, I found myself making my way to her, getting ready for one of the hardest goodbyes. 

She wrapped her arms around my torso and let her head press against my heart. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do this without you.” 

For the first time that night, she wasn’t faking a smile or putting on a face. I knew when she was saying goodbye that she was only laughing and grinning for everyone else, but underneath it all, she was experiencing a great sadness that no one else could understand. Everyone was just as excited as we were for this baby, if for no other reason than I was finally going to have a family of my own. That I’d finally found the people who were going to be there for me forever. And maybe it was that knowledge, the knowledge of how happy this baby made others, was the reason she never let it show just how hard it was for her. Otherwise, it’d ruin the fantasy. And so she wore happiness like a mask to hide the profound pain that would’ve wounded our spirits. 

“Hey, I’m not leaving you forever,” I whispered somberly, hugging her a little tighter. “And if anything happens, I’m just a phone call away.” As much as I tried to believe my words, neither of us could find the truth in it. Even I knew I wasn’t just a phone call away. I’d be miles and miles and miles away from two of the best things that have ever happened from me. 

She inhaled sharply and pulled away from me, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the hope that I hadn’t already seen them. “I should probably let you go now.” She laughed lightly. 

Our bodies parted, but I had yet to let go of her hand. I shook it up and down gently as I told her, “I love you.”

She shook my hand back in just the same manner. “We love you, too.” 

A smile crept onto my face after the immediate realization of what she meant. 

My girls.

At last, when I walked up the steps to the jet, I finally let go of her hand at the last moment possible, and even after we released hands, our arms stayed outstretched for a passing second as the distance between them got further and further. With the warmth of her hand leaving mine vacantly cold, I watched as she replaced it on the very top of her stomach, as if to say, “We’ll be okay.” 

_ _ _

“Reid?” 

I refocused my vision to Morgan who was calling my name. From the look on his face, I realized he probably tried to get my attention multiple times before this. 

“Sorry, what did you say?” I shook my head to clear my mind, but it didn’t work. A part of me was still in another world, lingering in thought. 

My mind would never shut up about her, but it seemed like today, it was firing all these things at me at 2x speed. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact event that I felt guilty for, but really - take your pick. It could’ve been anything, it could’ve been everything. 

It could’ve been the fact that I was here and she wasn’t. It could’ve been the fact that in those last moments I saw her, I realized just how strong she was being this entire time, and how I was asking her to be even stronger, as if the weight of the world wasn’t enough. It could’ve been the realization that she was struggling this entire time, but never asked for help, thinking that she’d be a burden - the very thing she made us promise not to let her be. That is the reason after all, that she told us not to let her pregnancy be an excuse for anything. Because if she didn’t contribute anything, then she’d be holding us back - she’d be dead weight. I knew that, and yet, what did I do?

Nothing. I walked away and boarded that fucking jet like a brainless idiot.

I should’ve stayed with her. 

Morgan’s eyes turned to slits while he tossed the manila folder onto the table, seemingly setting it aside so it wouldn’t be a distraction from his question. “What’s going on, man?” 

I shrugged, pretending not to know exactly what he was talking about. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just zoned out, that’s all.” 

Clearly exasperated, he said, “Come on, man. Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

Whether it was defeat or a sweet surrender, I tucked my hands in my pockets and let my head hang low, eyes glued to the ground. Unexpectedly, I was sniffling and wiping my nose before I could register that tears were already coming. “I’m just worried about her.” 

It felt stupid to admit, especially considering I saw her only 8 hours, 37 minutes, and 12 seconds ago. But the absence of her and our baby was growing more and more apparent with every passing moment I spent in this office without her. Usually, she would be here to keep me company, bothering me while I located the comfort zone - not that she ever really did bother me. I quite liked her presence. 

Sometimes, when I was left alone, the room would get too quiet, and it’d just be me and my thoughts. And maybe she knew how scared of my own mind I was when it wandered, so she never let me be alone with it - never let the room get too quiet. She would talk and talk and talk, and I could never get tired of listening. Her voice was like white noise. If she was here, things would be as they always were. I would be standing at the map, and she’d no doubt be sitting in a chair, rubbing gentle circles around her protruding stomach as I felt her watching me intently. 

“Found it.” I would say, drawing a big red circle around the zone. 

To which she would say, “You’re a genius.” 

Sure, I’ve been called ‘genius’ a million times before, but it never felt the same as when she said it. 

Morgan could see the invisible pain in my chest, and he pulled me in by my shoulder to wrap his arm around me. It might not have looked like it, but it was the most reassuring hug he could’ve given me. I can’t explain it, but it felt like (y/n)’s warmth and love had possessed his body and he was radiating it now. 

“I know it’s scary, man, and honestly, we all wish we could be with her right now. But trust me when I tell you she’s not alone.” He treaded carefully with his words, and I could tell there was something he wasn’t saying but that wanted me to figure out.

I didn’t even have to verbalize my question because soon enough, when Morgan pulled back, his phone began to ring.

“It’s Garcia.” He told me, though he didn’t answer the call, which was weird enough. But then he gestured to the computer on the table, and so I half-heartedly watched as the screen changed from the blue background to a video call with Garcia. 

And who else would be sitting beside her but my wife?

“Look who I’ve got with me!” Garcia squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

“You’re supposed to be on bedrest.” I playfully scolded her.

“I was! I was, I promise. But after I said goodbye to you guys, I went home and got four hours of sleep, and then I went to my doctors appointment, but then when I was driving home, I thought why would I go back there when I’ve got everything I need right here?” She motioned around Garcia’s lair, even lifting up a hospital-go bag that Penelope no doubt compiled just for her. If there was anyone I trusted to take good care of her, it was Garcia. 

Like I said before, I learned to expect (y/n) not to follow the rules. So naturally, she found a way to still work even on maternity leave. 

At this point, the rest of the team neatly filed into the room, erupting in cheers of excitement at the sight of (y/n) in the bat cave. 

“Is everything okay?” JJ worriedly asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine! Baby looks good, my blood pressure’s getting better, so we’re doing okay.” She smiled proudly, and so did I. That was her first appointment on her own, and though it couldn’t have been easy, especially this late in her term, she did it anyway. Because that’s my girl.  

“When are you due, again?” Kate asked (y/n), earning an enthusiastic, “Doctor says if she’s on time, New Year’s Eve!” 

It never failed to make me smile whenever she brought up her due date. She was always excited to proclaim that our daughter might be brought into the world at the exact time we brought in the new year. 

“But if I’m early, it could be any day now.” She explained. 

Here’s where I had to cut in. “Hopefully not any day now! I don’t wanna miss it.” 

“You won’t!” She promised through a wide grin.

Something else you should know about my girl? She always keeps her promises. 

And on January 1, at exactly 12:00 - just as promised - I had the privilege of watching (y/n) deliver a healthy 6 pound and 9 ounce baby girl.

The weight of my whole world.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Can you tell I love it when someone says “my girl”? I think that’s my favorite pet name ever. 

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[missymurphy1985]

The Medic (Part 8)

Warning - angst

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

Back in Cillian's hotel room later, the two of you were talking about the messages. Trying to decide what to do, work out who the threat could have come from. Narrowing it down was difficult - every single cast member was on set this afternoon, there was no way of pinpointing who it could have been.

"Paul, Sophie and Tash were in the queue ahead of you, so it can't be them..." He said, sipping a glass of red wine while you stared at the photo on your phone.

"Could it have been Anna?"

"She was sat with Finn by the coffee machine, I remember the death stare she gave me."

"Yeah, about that. Was there anything going on with you two?" You asked, making him laugh.

"She tried. Unsuccessfully. She just wants to up her profile and get more screen time. Fucking an executive producer. She was shit faced at the wrap party last series and tried to kiss me when I took her back to her room. Left her on her own telling her I wasn't interested. She spread rumours around set that we hooked up - I can promise you we did nothing of the sort."

"I believe you. She's so not your type."

"I have a type now do I?"

"Yeah - quiet girls who don't kiss and tell. Non-famous. Low profile. Someone you can come home to at the end of a long day filming and be relaxed around. Someone normal."

"Do you tick all of those boxes y/n?"

"I think I do. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.."

"No need. I didn't tell Helen though. She caught us behind the trailers after lunch. She told me off and slapped the back of my head for being a horny little schoolboy!"

You had to laugh - it was like being caught by the teacher snogging behind the bikesheds at school.

"Seriously, what are we going to do?"

"Whoever sent that has clear evidence that would either label me a sex pest at work, or destroy your career. We need to contact whoever it is making the threats. It's clearly someone on set. I have an idea."

*************************************************************

The following morning, Cillian called a mass team meeting for the final day of shooting. The series would be wrapped after this one, and due to everyone's schedules being so busy a wrap party hadn't been arranged until the following month, so he brought the cast and crew together with the illusion of it being a farewell and thank you to everyone. You were sat next to Kate as he delivered his speech.

Kate suddenly reached into her handbag and disappeared out the back, and your heart dropped. Cillian noticed it too but carried on with the end of his speech. Once he'd finished, and the room clapped and cheered, he excused himself and headed out to where Kate had left. You followed him, Helen close behind.

"You... You backstabbing little bitch!" You cried as Helen held you back. You wanted to tear her hair out.

"What?" She cried, backing away.

"Did your phone ring while you were in there?" Helen asked, as Cillian took your hand and held you close to him to stop you killing her.

"Yes..."

"Is it ringing now?" Helen asked, holding her own phone up as it rang the number that had messaged you both the day before. Her phone flashed up with an incoming call.

"Kate? Of all people... Why?" Cillian asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Because of YOU!!" she barked, staring straight at you.

"Me??"

"Yes you!! Perfect little you! Straight A student YOU!!! You always had to be one step ahead of me didn't you? Always had to be better! You know how long I've tried to get into Emergency medicine, and there you go applying for the position I wanted and you fucking got it, didn't you??"

"Kate, you didn't even tell me you'd applied for it!? If you had I'd never have gone for it!"

"Yes you fucking would! Just like everything else - you see something I want and you TAKE IT!" She looked at Cillian and then back at you.

"Kate you're married!"

"To a fucking loser! You KNEW I had a crush on him, and you couldn't resist could you? You said on the way up here that he wasn't even that good looking!! Took you less than 72 hours to fuck him though, didn't it? If I hadn't admitted I liked him you wouldn't have touched him with a bargepole and you fucking know it!"

"Okay well we've established that you're clinically insane at least..." You seethed. Helen took Kate to one side and talked to her alone. You couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Not that good looking huh?" Cillian whispered in your ear.

"Oh be quiet, I'd only ever watched one movie you were in and you were a plane riding terrorist."

Helen came back with Kate who still had a face like thunder.

"Give them the phone." Helen ordered and Kate, surprisingly handed it over. You took it and opened up the message app, deleting the photo. You also deleted it from her gallery. Cillian took the phone from you and threw it to the ground, stomping on it as hard as he could.

"That's what you get for calling the nice guy of Hollywood a fucking sexual predator," he spat. Kate looked at you both and you could see a mix of tears and anger in her eyes.

"Kate... I never once wanted to get one over on you. Never. There was a job coming up at the hospital next month that I was going to recommend you for! I was the one who helped you all the way through uni when you needed it. I was the one who told Dr Taylor to give you the job onset here! You didn't know any of that, did you?"

"You did that?"

"Yeah, I did. Now you've thrown away a perfect friendship because of some petty jealousy issues. Well done you."

"Y/n I'm sorry..."

"Take your 'sorry' and shove it up your arse. You nearly ruined us. Go to hell."

"Any more photos, footage, or stories even come close to the public eye and all three of us will sue you for slander. Understand?" Helen threatened, making Kate back down. She nodded, tears in her eyes as she walked away. Your legs buckled underneath you, Cillian catching you quickly as your emotions spilled out. You sobbed against his chest, nearly 20 years of friendship gone in the click of a camera. You'd never trust her again.

"Friends like that aren't worth it - she gets to live out her life without you in it, and you get to live yours with him in it. I think it's a pretty fair trade, don't you?" Helen soothed. Your tears easing, feeling him kiss the top of your head.

"Oh and I believe you know Doctor Taylor?" She said, making you turn to face her.

"He was my professor in med school.."

"Well he just happened to be my husband's cousin. I spoke to him about your little 'situation'. There's no issue here - you're not his doctor you're an onset medic - there's a big difference. You won't lose your license for this," she smiled.

"Really?"

"Really. He checked with the medical board - it's a non-issue."

With that Cillian scooped you up, and planted the biggest kiss on your lips, spinning you round.

"I don't have to hide now," he grinned as you laughed in his arms.

"Put her down Cill, we've still got a day of filming! And we only have one medic now so try not to hurt anyone, yeah?"

[typical-simplelove]

It's the Memories - 40s Series (J. Oleksiak)

Summary: On your and Jamie's wedding anniversary, you both recount the love story you both had throughout the war.

Series Masterlist

A/n: Here's the next part! This one took a bit of time, but I hope you enjoy it! This one exists in the same universe as the Roope fic from earlier in the series (yes, I know they're both reader inserts, but oh well!) Let me know what you thought!

Warnings: Mentions of war, doctors appointments

Word Count: 9.1k

Note: Italics are flashbacks.

“You know,” Alissa, your eldest daughter states. “We don’t really know you guys’ love story. We know that you met during the war but nothing else.”

“In the spirit of celebrating your wedding anniversary, what if you shared?” Dawson, Alissa’s husband states.

You look at Jamie. “What do you think?”

“That’s a lovely idea,” Jamie says. “I guess we start at the beginning, then.”

“How did you first meet?” Clara, your granddaughter asks.

“That’s a difficult question, Clara,” Jamies says, and you begin to shake your head. “What? It is.”

“I’m confused,” Alissa says.

“Your father has a memory of meeting me before I remember meeting him,” you explain.

“Really, dad?” Alissa asks. “Mum has an amazing memory; I think she’d know if she met you before.”

“Why would I forget meeting the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“He’s making things up,” you say. “But thank you for the compliment. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met.”

“Really? Some of the soldiers in my unit were quite studs. Like, Roope? If he didn’t have a girl back home, I think I’d be slightly scared of you want him.”

“But I married you,” you remind him.

“Right, that you did.”

“Dad, why don’t you tell your version of meeting mom, and then, mom, you go,” Brandon, your son suggests.

“Jame, you go,” you tell your husband.

“Well, we were on the USS Harmon heading for England, and your mom was a Red Cross nurse.

When you signed up to be at the Red Cross, you were expecting to help in the Texas Area, not in England. However, you jumped at the chance to help the troops overseas as a nurse. That’s how you ended up on the USS Harmon. Not an easy trip, you found it incredibly difficult to be on the ship. You were incredibly seasick and were in constant need of a toilet or bag.

Tonight was no exception. One of the other Red Cross ladies said that going outside would be good for you to do to settle your stomach. Yeah, as you were standing outside, you didn’t think it was working. You were cold, and your stomach was so queasy you weren’t sure if you’d make it through the rest of the trip.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” a soldier asks.

“I mean, technically, no,” you answer.

“May I ask what’s wrong?”

“I’m quite chilly, and I’m incredibly nauseous. I’m afraid I’m going to throw up.”

“Here,” he tells you as he shrugs off his jacket. “Take my jacket; you look like you need it more than I do.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ll probably head inside soon.”

“Well, here��s a bag that I always have on me. I don’t get queasy often, so you can have my bag.”

You take the bag out of his hand. “Thank you. I’m going to head inside now. Again, thank you.”

“Of course, have a goodnight, ma’am.”

“Goodnight.”

Despite the dim moonlight, Jamie knew you were the most beautiful woman ever.

“You really thought grandma was the most beautiful woman in the world?” Clara asks.

“I did, and she still is,” Jamie answers.

“For everyone’s information, I don’t remember that,” you say. “Also, you never got my name so who are you to remember that it was me.”

“You greatly underestimate my love for you,” Jamie says.

“I don’t think so.”

“Mom, you go,” Alissa directs.

“Sure, well, we met after we’ve already landed on land.”

“Oh, thank goodness, we’ve made it,” Elizabeth says. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.”

“I was ready to hurl myself off of the boat,” you say. You were glad that you’ve landed; you weren’t sure what you’d be able to do if you had to go another day on that boat.

“Well, let’s go find the rest of the Red Cross ladies, so we can head to our base,” Clara says.

The three of you head off towards the signs that say “Red Cross”. On your way, though, you trip and fall. Luckily, though, someone catches you just before you’d hit the ground.

“Oh, thank you, sir,” you say. You look up and see the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Oh course, ma’am,” he says to you. He sets you up, and you catch a light tint of red on his cheeks. “Lieutenant Jamie Olesiak.”

“Red Cross Nurse, Yn Yln. Nice to meet you.”

A weird look crosses Jamie’s face. “Yeah, nice to meet you, too,” he says. You couldn’t quite tell what Jamie’s expression was.

“I have to go, but it was nice to meet you,” you tell him with a smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“See you around,” Jamie says and watches you walk away. There’s a soft smile resting on his face. He knew that you were going to be a vital part of his life.

“You are already so whipped for her,” Tyler says, clapping Jamie on the shoulder. “This is going to be interesting.”

That was true, Jamie was indeed quite whipped for you.

“Your dad had a weird look on his face, and I still can’t quite tell you why,” you say after recounting the story.

“I probably had a weird look on my face because I already remember meeting you,” Jamie recounts.

“Sure, sure,” you say. “I’m not saying that I met you, but you should know better than anyone that when I get sick, I get tunnel vision and forget everything.”

“So you’re telling me that there’s a chance that we’ve met?”

You smile. “There is a chance, but I guess we’ll never know.”

“Grandma, tell us about the next time you saw Grandpa again,” Clara asks eagerly.

“Well, it was at a pub about a month later,” you begin. “It was a day off for both of us, and we happened to run into each other.”

You followed Elizabeth into the hole-in-the-wall pub that she said was amazing. She went on a date the previous week at this place and ate here. She insisted that she absolutely had to take you. You both take a seat at a table and look at the menu.

“Ms. Yln?” someone says from the table to your right. You slightly swivel your head to see who it is.

“Lieutenant Oleksiak,” you say with a smile. Your simple smile was enough to set Jamie’s heart rate through the roof. How is that possible? “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Jamie says with a flirty edge in his voice.

You raise your eyebrows. “Is that so? Aren’t you smooth?”

“I have to try for a pretty girl to remember me.”

“Pretty girl, huh?” you repeat.

“That’s a bit of an understatement because you are so beautiful.”

You feel the heat rush to your face. Jamie really knew how to flatter you. You were about to say something when someone at Jamie’s table cleared his throat. “I’ll let you get back to your table and company,” you say. “It was nice to see you again.”

Jamie looks at you with a soft smile before returning back to his table.

“So, Jamie?” Elizabeth asks. “He’s cute.”

You nod.

“Maybe you should ask him out or something.”

“No, no,” you say and drop your voice. “I can’t have anything distracting me while I help nurse these soldiers back to life.”

“Why are we whispering?” Elizabeth loudly whispers. Jamie glances at you from the corner of his eyes and softly chuckles. This was why you wanted to whisper, so Jamie couldn’t hear you. Despite you finding Jamie incredibly attractive, you didn’t want to lead into his advances knowing he could distract you from your ultimate goal.

You glare at Elizabeth, and you hear Jamie chuckle again.

“Oh, that’s why we’re whispering,” Elizabeth says in a whisper this time.

You sigh and shake your head. “Let’s just eat.”

“Grandpa, did you hear their conversation?” Clara asks cheekily.

Jamie nods. “I did indeed. It pained me just a little bit knowing Grandma didn’t want to date me, but I knew she’d fall for me eventually.”

You shake your head playfully. “You never lost that cockiness, did you?”

“May I remind you that you married me and knew exactly what you were getting yourself into all those years ago?”

“That I did.”

“How long did it take for you to finally go on a date with dad?” Alissa asks.

“It took me scheming with her friends for us to finally go on a date,” Jamie answers.

“How long was that?”

“Almost a year.”

“A whole year?” everyone gasps.

“In my defense, it wasn’t like we saw each other every day. For the first twelve months, we probably only saw each other once a month.”

“Tells us about that,” Sawyer, your four-year-old grandson says.

“If you insist,” Jamie says and throws a wink. Despite being together for years and years, he still had the ability to make you flustered and bring heat to your face with just a simple wink.

July 1942

“We have boxes and supplies for the nurses,” Jamie says to the woman sitting at the front of the nurses' offices.

“Perfect,” she says. “You can just bring it to the back for Ms. Yln. She’s in the last room on the right.”

At the sound of your last name, Jamie smiles. “Yn?”

“Oh right, you’re Jamie, right?” the woman says. “Elizabeth was telling us about the soldier who’s quite keen about her.”

“Keen is an understatement,” Tyler says from behind Jamie. “We just go down the hall?”

The woman nods. “Yes, that exactly.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, but what’s your name?” Tyler asks.

“Kate,” she responds.

“Kate, I’m Tyler,” he says with a smile. “I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around,” Kate responds, and Tyler and Jamie head down the hall.

The boys walk down the hall, and Jamie knocks on the door that you’re standing in. At the sound of a knock, you turn around and lookup.

“Ms, Yln, we bring supplies,” Jamie says with a smile that ignites the butterflies in your stomach.

“That’s perfect, thank you,” you say. “You can leave them on the table over there, and I’ll put them away.”

“I’m going to head back to the truck and grab the final few boxes,” Tyler says. “You can stay here and help her begin putting them away.”

Jamie nods. He’d do anything to spend more time around you. “How can I help?” he asks.

“Just put the supplies where the labels match,” you tell him.

“That makes sense,” Jamie says in a tone that makes you giggle. Hearing you giggle, Jamie looks at you and thinks he’s fallen for your more.

After about five minutes of placing bandages and supplies away, Jamie finally decides to open his mouth to say something. “Are you doing anything this Friday?” he asks.

“Oh, I think Elizabeth wants to take me and Kate to this pub that she’s been to and that she says is amazing,” you say oblivious to the true intentions behind Jamie’s words.

“Oh,” Jamie says deflatedly. He wasn’t sure what answer he was looking for, but it wasn’t that.

“May I ask why you wanted to know?” you ask with a smile on your face looking up at Jamie.

He meets your eyes. You could give him that smile every time, and he knew you could get away with anything. (You got away with everything to this day with that smile.) “Oh, I was just asking.”

You widen your smile. “Why were you just asking?”

“No reason.”

“No reason?” you ask in a voice that Jamie knows that he can’t resist.

“I wanted to ask to see if I could take you out for dinner,” Jamie replies in a voice that was a cross between a mumble and a whisper.

“Oh,” you say; however, your voice was very low. Jamie only knew what you were saying because of the shape of your mouth. “Maybe another time?” you suggest.

Jamie’s mood does a three-sixty and smiles. “Yeah! Another time.”

You were going to say something else, but you could hear Tyler approaching the room you were currently in. “This is the last of them,” Tyler says.

You nod. “Thank you so much for this. Um, see you around?”

Jamie smiles at you. “See you around, definitely.”

August 1942

“If it isn’t the elusive Ms. Yn Yln, the Red Cross’ finest nurse,” Tyler says as he walks into the medical examination room. Once a month, the pilots had to come in for a check-up to make sure that the altitude changes weren’t causing them to get sick. Today, you were making those checkups. It also happened to be that you were going to be examining Jamie’s unit.

“How am I elusive, Mr. Seguin?” you say with a chuckle.

“You drive Jamie crazy after he sees you for all of five minutes. Your smile or laugh or whatever makes him go crazy, and then he doesn’t see you again for a while. Just when he’s about to kind of get over you, there’s an opportunity for him to see you again and make him go crazy about you again.”

“Oh.”

“He’s head over heels for you, so I’m asking you to be nice to him, please,” Tyler says.

You nod. “Let’s get started on this examination.”

You finish the examination in twenty minutes, and you deem Tyler healthy. You excuse Tyler and tell him to send in the next soldier.

“Guess who’s conducting our examinations today?” Tyler says to the men in front of him. “Yn Yln.”

Jamie blushes at the mere sound of your name.

“This the girl that Jamie is in love with?” Miro asks.

“Yup,” Tyler says, putting an emphasis on the p.

“I’m not in love with her,” Jamie grumbles with a smile on his face.

“No, no, you are,” Tyler insists. “You have the same look on your face that Roope has whenever he gets a letter from his girl back home.”

Roope was about to contradict Tyler’s comment, but you walk out before he can say anything. “Tyler, you were supposed to the next person back.”

“Yn,” Jamie says and immediately stands up.

“Jamie, you’re next?” you ask with a smile. Jamie nods enthusiastically, and you laugh in response. “Follow me.”

Jamie follows you into the examination room with a blush lining his cheeks. “I never got the chance to take you out for dinner,” he says.

You turn to face Jamie. “In my defense, I don’t really know how to reach you, but you do.”

“So, this is my fault?” Jamie says with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, just a little bit,” you say teasingly.

“Can I at least get a redo? A chance to take you out?”

You nod. “Sure, you can take me out.”

“I can’t wait,” Jamie says and flashes you a smile that makes your heart beat faster.

“Why don’t we conduct your examination first to make sure you’re healthy enough to even take me out, yeah?”

“What?” Jamie says, and his face pales. There’s a chance he might not be healthy enough?

“Don’t worry,” you say with a light chuckle. “You were able to walk in here fine, so I think you’re going to be just fine.”

“Oh,” Jamie says relieved. Turns out, he was fine. Jamie left the examination room walking on clouds knowing that he would finally get the chance to take you out.

“You’re telling me that mum didn’t go out with you the first time you asked her out?” Alissa asks.

“She did not,” Jamie answers. “Your mum strung me along thinking I had a chance with a beautiful woman.”

“I did not,” you say. “In my defense, I had a job to do, and I didn’t want it to get in the way. Also, I really didn’t have any way to contact you.”

“But, you guys are here now, so it doesn’t really matter,” Clara says. “Grandpa, continue telling

me the story.”

September 1942

It was a Sunday afternoon, and you had the day off. To take advantage of the day off and the nice weather, you, Kate, and Elizabeth decided to head into the town to go for a walk and grab dinner later that evening. You were walking on the path that was adjacent to the duck pond. The three of you were talking about the recent film Kate saw when she went on a date (not with Tyler, he also had yet to follow up on the date he wanted to have). You wanted to stop for a moment to observe the view. So you told the girls to continue ahead, and you’d catch up with them later.

“Isn’t this weird?” a deep voice says next to you. “Maybe the universe wants to tell us that we should finally go out on a date.”

You turn to the voice and smile. “Hello, Jamie.”

“Yn, how are you?”

“I’m doing well, and you?”

“Could be better, but oh well.”

“How so?” you ask.

Jamie looks at you and smiles. “You could finally let me take you out.”

“That’s what’s causing your so-called foul mood?” you tease. You were going to let him take you out one day; however, you weren’t going to go after him. You were going to stick to your proclamation that you didn’t want to get involved with anyone because it might make it difficult to do your job. You weren’t going to go out of your way to look for him, but you also weren’t going to avoid him. If Jamie happened to stop by and see you to confirm a time and place for this date, then, yes, you’d go out with him.

“It is,” he says. “You keep saying that you’ll go out with me, but we never end up going out. I wonder why that is.”

“I, for one, don’t know where to go to find you,” you say in defense.

“So, this is my fault?”

“It kind of is your fault,” Brandon says to Jamie. “From what I can tell, mom didn’t have any way to get in contact with you or see you, but you did.”

“Wow, traitors,” Jamie says feigning hurt. “Your mother did just admit it, though, that she wasn’t outright going out of her way to try to make this date happen.”

“That’s on you, mom,” Alissa says. “Dad, though, I think it’s mostly you to blame. As far as I can tell, you were holding on to each encounter with mom. On the other hand, mom was totally fine with what she could get from you.”

“See?” you say to your husband. “It kind of is your fault.”

“Just continue the story,” Sawyer whines.

“Okay, okay,” Jamie says and continues.

“I mean, I’m a very busy person, and, as I’ve said, I don’t know how or where to find you,” you say. “However, you know exactly where to find me, yet you never come to try to set up this date.”

Jamie looks at you and smiles. He knew he was falling for you hard because he immediately agreed with you. You could have said that the earth was flat (it’s not, very much round), and he’d believe you. Jamie was falling for you, hard, and he needed to figure out a way for you to either feel the same way or find a way for him to get over you. One thing that Jamie was that he wanted to marry you one day. You had the energy, spunk, and wit that he knew he wanted his future wife to have. On top of that, you were so beautiful that he didn’t have to worry about what your children would like because as long as they got your looks, they were set for life. “Well, then, how about next Friday? I’ll pick you up at the nurses’ station where you are at 6, and I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“I’d like that a lot,” you tell Jamie.

As the days got closer to Friday, your smile somehow got wider and wider. You didn’t know if it was possible, but you were floating on clouds by the time noon rolled around on Friday. You were sitting in the common area of the nurses' station on your break when Jamie walked in with a sad expression on his face. “I didn’t realize it was already 6,” you say trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, my bad,” Jamie says, but his facial expression has yet to change. “Yn, I’m sorry. We have a last-minute mission to fly tonight, and I can’t leave the base.”

“Oh,” you say softly. You look up at Jamie and see how sad he looks. You knew that you had to be positive for him so that he doesn’t get distracted as he flies tonight. “Hey, don’t worry about it.”

“Really?” Jamie says, and his eyes perk up.

“Yeah! I mean, we are in wartime, so there are going to be some hiccups of things that need to take precedent. We’ll have that date eventually, don’t worry.”

Jamie nods and a smile developed on his face. “Okay, if you’re sure. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” you tell him. So, you and Jamie weren’t going to get that date. Despite you trying to act nonchalant about him and the date, you deep down were disappointed. You knew that you shouldn’t be this disappointed, but you still were. You knew that if you didn’t stop yourself that you’d be halfway to loving him by the end of the month.

October 1942

Despite already having one date already planned, you hadn’t seen Jamie in almost a month. It seemed to be a theme between the two of you. You understood, however, that it happened. After all, you and Jamie were both working during wartime. That didn’t mean you didn’t miss him, though.

On this particular Saturday in October, Kate wanted to go to the cinema with you and Elizabeth to enjoy the last few days of warm weather. So, at 6pm, you, Elizabeth, and Kate left base and headed off to the cinema. Before going to the movie, the three of you decided to go and grab dinner first. There was a pub not far from the cinema, so that’s where the three of you went.

“I’m sorry, we currently don’t have many open tables that are clean,” the hostess says. “Do you mind waiting a few minutes?”

“Of course, no problem,” you told the hostess and went to find the other girls. You went in to try to get a table first. When you find Elizabeth and Kate, you notice that they’re talking to a group of American soldiers. Interesting, you wondered who they were.

“Yn, look who we ran into?” Kate says excitedly. You scan the group and smile. Of course. Who else would it be except for Jamie, Tyler, Esa, Roope, Miro, and Jason?

“Well, look who it is,” Tyler says. “Miss breaks Jamie’s poor heart.”

Jamie elbows Tyler in the ribs and turns to you. “Ignore him.”

“Hi, Jamie,” you say. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that by the way.”

“Don’t worry, truly. We’re both busy.”

Jamie looks at you with a curious eye. “Sure, but I feel like if we were able to have our date, then we’d be seeing each other more often.”

“Is that so?” you ask. “You could have come to me.”

Jamie laughs and shakes his head. “I guess as long as you have no way of reaching me, then it will be my fault?”

“Uh-huh,” you say with a smile.

“Whatever can I do to make it up to you?” Jamie asks.

“You can join us for dinner and head to the cinema with us,” Kate pipes in.

Jamie looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “Did you want me to come?”

“If you would like, but I’m not sure if there’s going to be enough room at your table for everyone,” you say.

“Don’t worry, Kate and I will do our own thing,” Tyler says and winks at Kate.

“Why don’t I go in and see if they can accommodate all of us?” you suggest. “I’ll imply we’re going to be tipping very, very well.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jamie offers. This man was way too sweet.

“Thank you,” you tell him and lead him towards the door. “Thank you,” you say again as Jamie holds the door open for you. “Thank you,” you say once again as Jamie helps you steer through the crowds.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me, you know,” Jamie says.

You feel the heat rush to your face. “Maybe then you shouldn’t keep doing things that result in me thanking you.”

“Noted,” Jamie says. He didn’t say it in any different or notable way. However, the way he said it brought warmth rushing to your face and made your heart flutter. You wanted to further contemplate these thoughts, but, thankfully, you and Jamie walked up to the hostess’s podium.

“Would it be possible to accommodate six more people?” you ask. The hostess tells you to give her a moment to check. When she returns, she tells you that it’s possible and that a table can be ready in just a few moments. “Why don’t I go out and tell the rest of our group that the table will be ready and that they should come in.”

“No, no, I don’t think so,” Jamie says protectively. “I’m not letting you go out there alone with drunk soldiers walking around this place. I’ll go.”

Your heart warms at his words. “You’re going to let me stay here by myself, then?”

Jamie looks at you. “You got me there, but no. I think it’s better here, so I’ll go get them, okay? Don’t go anywhere. Don’t move.”

You nod. “Yes, sir,” you say and mock salute. Jamie just smiles at you and shakes his head. As he’s walking away, he turns back around and glances at you. You take a small step to your left as a joke, and Jamie just widens his grin. You’d do anything to get a smile like that out of him.

He returns with the rest of the group in just a few moments, and you’re all heading to your table almost immediately. Jamie falls in step with you and leans his head down to whisper in your ear. “I thought I asked you not to move.”

You look up at the man next to you. “Sure,” you say. “May I ask why it truly matters?”

“I was worried about you,” he says softly.

You look up at him and grab his hand. You intertwine your fingers with his and squeeze his hand. “May I ask why?”

“No reason,” Jamie says, but you know there is a reason. You wanted to question why he refused to tell you the reason, but you opted that it was better to do it another time.

“Grandpa, what was the reason?” Clara asks.

Jamie looks at you. “I guess you’ll finally find out.”

“I guess I will,” you reply. “What was the reason?”

“I love you. Well, I loved you.”

“I know you love me, but why were you worried about me?”

“Because I loved you,” Jamie repeats. When he notices that you don’t quite understand what he’s referencing, he decides to explain. “I loved you and never stopped worrying about you. I didn’t want you to leave because I didn’t know if you’d disappear from my life again.”

“Why would I disappear from your life again?” you ask puzzled.

“I was in love with you, and it seemed that I only saw you once or twice a month. I didn’t like that.”

“Oh,” you say. “I hope that me taking a step about an inch to the left didn’t give you a heart attack.”

“No, but you holding my hand did,” Jamie says. “Clara, did you know that Uncle Tyler made fun of me for almost three weeks because of grandma holding my hand?”

“Really?” Clara says through giggles.

Jamie nods. “Yes, he did. Almost every day after that, I would bring it up, or I’d drift thinking about it. Uncle Tyler was ready to tease me every time.”

“It’s a good thing you guys got married, then,” Clara says.

“Why’s that?” you ask your granddaughter.

“Because you get to hold grandpa’s all the time, and it isn’t a memory anymore,” Clara says excitedly.

“Was that the reason you married grandma?” Sawyer asks. “So that you could always hold her hand?”

“That was one of the reasons, yes,” Jamie says and winks at you. “I married her because I loved her and couldn’t go a single day without her.”

“Is that why you married grandpa?” Sawyer asks you.

“I married your grandfather because I loved him more than anything in the world,” you reply.

“Do you still love him the most?”

“I do,” you say and smile at Jamie.

November 1942

To celebrate Thanksgiving, the American Red Cross was putting on a Thanksgiving dinner for the troops. On this day, you got the day off and were able to join the rest of the nurses and soldiers celebrating the holiday. You and Elizabeth made your way to the mess hall as directed and walked inside. You were both met with the smells that reminded you both of home. You began to grow sad imagining what your parents’ house must be like with all the cousins running around and the smells of the food cooking that you’d be missing.

“Well, look who it is,” Esa says. “The woman who is in love with Jamie but refuses to go on a date with him.”

“That’s not true,” you say. “We planned a date, but we had to cancel because he had a late-night flight. Speaking of Jamie, where is he?”

“Jamie? He’s outside.”

You say a brief thanks and go out to find him. You look around briefly before finding him.

“Hey,” you say quietly, not wanting to scare him. Jamie was sitting on a bench with his head between his legs. “Is everything okay?”

Jamie looks up and sees you. “Hey, yeah, I think so.”

You sit down next to him and begin stroking small circles on Jamie’s back. He never knew that such a simple touch could be so comforting. “Did you want to talk about it?”

Jamie shrugs.

“Okay, well, I’m here if you want to,” you say and continue to stroke soft patterns on Jamie’s back.

Almost five minutes pass before Jamie says something again. “I never realized how much I miss my family. Obviously, I know that I miss my family and stuff because obviously, I’m on the other side of the ocean. I never really got homesick at first, but the holidays are making me realize how much I miss everyone.”

You nod. You understand where he was coming from. Just the other day, you got a letter from your mother about how your sister was pregnant. Pregnant! You never realized how much you were missing. “Anything I can do?”

Jamie looks at you and smiles. “Let me take you on a date?”

You begin to giggle. “Really? Wow, you’re really using your moment of weakness to egg that on me, aren’t you.”

“I mean, I really like you, so it shouldn’t matter,” Jamie says. “Though, if me being in a moment of weakness means that you’d let me take you out, then yes.”

You shake your head playfully. “I’m all for you taking me out.”

“Then, why haven’t I taken you out?”

“You were going to, but then you had a night flight to make. We just haven’t found a time that works recently.”

“How about before Christmas?” Jamie proposes.

“I can do that,” you say with a smile. Would this be the time you finally got a date?

December 1942

“Knock, knock,” Jamie says as he knocks on the door in the examination room you were in.

You turn your head to the noise and smile widely when you see that it’s Jamie. “Jamie.”

“Yn.”

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” you ask.

“I have something for you,” Jamie tells you. “It’s a holiday present.”

“Holiday present?” you ask curiously.

Jamie blushes. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you celebrated Christmas or anything, but I wanted to give you a present anyway. So, I’m calling it a holiday present.”

“I didn’t get you anything, though.”

Jamie looks at you, and he thinks he falls more in love. “It’s not a gift exchange, yn. It’s a gift for you from my heart.”

“From your heart?” you say teasingly, and Jamie blushes further. “I’m kidding, don’t worry.”

“Here,” he hands you a red bag. “Open it.”

You take the bag out of his hand, and your fingers brush his ever so slightly. At the touch, you feel the heat rise to your face. Your next immediate thought is “what would it be like to hold Jamie’s hand entirely?”

“I think you’ll like it,” Jamie whispers. He’s quite flustered after the little touch you both just experienced.

You nod unable to meet Jamie’s eyes. The effect he had on you was indescribable. You take the wrapping paper out of the bag and peer into it. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you just open it?” Jamie suggests.

“Or, you could just tell me,” you say flirtily.

“Or, you could just open it.”

“I’ll open it,” you say. You take out the box and open it. Inside is a delicate, simple necklace with your initials on it. “Jamie, you gasp.”

“Do you like it?” he asks eagerly.

“It’s beautiful; I love it,” you tell him with a look of hesitation in your eyes. Could you accept a gift like this?

“I thought you would, but I can also see the hesitation in your eyes. Yn, please, take the gift.”

“Thank you, Jamie, it’s beautiful. Can you help me put it on?” The minute the words come out of your mouth, you want to take them back. If he said yes, then that’d mean Jamie would be touching you. That also meant that you’d probably fall even harder for him.

“Sure,” he tells you. You take the necklace out of the box it’s in and hand it to him. You turn around and adjust your collar and hair so that Jamie has easy access to place the necklace on. He lifts his hands above your head, and you feel the cold of the necklace hit your chest softly. You’re standing there for a few moments as you feel Jamie fiddle with the clasp of the necklace behind you. When finished, Jamie readjusts your collar and tells you he’s finished softly.

“Thank you,” you tell him. You’re barely meeting his eye. Why would you? You just had an extremely intimate moment with someone you’re falling in love with. The heat is radiating off your face, and you’re pretty sure Jamie’s face is a deep crimson, too.

“Of course,” he tells you in a whisper. “It looks beautiful on you.”

You smile at him. “Thank you.”

All of a sudden, Jamie takes a step closer to you, and you do the same. He puts his hand on your waist and begins to lean down. Was he going to kiss you? Was Jamie Oleksiak going to kiss you? Just as he’s getting close to your lips, he’s interrupted by Tyler yelling from the hall.

“Big Rig! We have to go,” Tyler yells. You and Jamie jump apart from each other, and you’re both barely able to meet each other’s eyes. “Woah, dude, why’s your face so red.”

“No reason,” Jamie mumbles and then turns to you. “I’ll see you around?”

You nod. “Thank you so much for the gift. I’ll have to be sure to get you something.”

Jamie smiles at you. “Let me take you out. That’ll be enough.”

“It’s a date!”

“Do you still have the necklace?” Sawyer asks.

“I do still have the necklace,” you answer. You pull the necklace from where it’s sitting around your neck to show your grandson. “And, I still wear it every day.”

“I’ve gotten your grandmother many, many necklaces over the years, but I love that one the most,” Jamie says.

“It’s really pretty, grandma,” Clara says.

“Just like grandma,” Jamie flirts with a wink. Despite the both of you getting quite old, Jamie never hesitates to flirt with you. You smile at your husband as your grandchildren and children moan and throw out a few “ew”s and “yuck”s. You didn’t care. You were in love with your husband and didn’t care who knew.

January 1943

Despite Jamie saying that all you had to do was let him take you out, you still wanted to get him something. In the past month since he gave you the necklace, you had yet to take it off. You also had yet to see him, so it only made sense that it was okay that you haven’t gone out with him. You were still reeling from the memory of Jamie’s hands on your waist and him so close to you. Every time you think of the memory, your face would grow warm and a giant smile would erupt on your face. You only hoped that you’d get to have these moments in person than always in your head.

You spent any and all free time daydreaming about Jamie. You thought about when you’d finally be able to go out with him and have a cute date. You couldn’t wait for it. In the meantime, though, you still were trying to figure out what to get him as a holiday gift.

On a Saturday off, you opted to go into the town to try to find a gift for Jamie. Kate and Elizabeth were both busy, so you’d be on your own. You got off the bus and walked around the main street trying to find a cute shop from which you could shop from. You find one and walk inside. Looking around, you notice that you’d probably be able to find exactly what you would need for Jamie.

You once recall that the soldiers were complaining that the rain was making it incredibly cold in the barracks. You figured that Jamie was in a similar situation, so you decided you were going to try to find a blanket for him to use while he slept. It wasn’t as expensive or nice as the necklace he got you, but it was the thought that counted, right?

You try to find someone who works at the shop to ask if they had what you were looking for. For about twenty minutes, you’re talking with the shopkeeper and find what you’re looking for. You find a green blanket with a white star in each corner. You weren’t sure what each star was meant for, but you figured it probably wasn’t too big a deal. You also opted to buy him a small pocket notebook he can put in the breast pocket of his uniform. You walked out of the store thirty minutes after you walked in and went looking for somewhere to have lunch.

“Yn?” you hear from behind you. Of course, of course, you happened to run into these boys.

“Hey, Tyler,” you say to the man. “Day off?”

“Indeed,” Tyler replies. “Don’t worry, Jamie is just around the corner.”

“I wasn’t --”

“Doesn’t matter, we know how crazy he is for you, so we only hope you’re just as crazy for him,” Roope says.

“Oh, um --”

“Why are we stopping here?” Jamie asks obliviously.

“Guess who we ran into?” Esa teases.

“Who?” Jamie asks, not noticing that you’re standing right there.

“Hey, Jamie,” you say softly.

Jamie’s face turns a blush pink at hearing your voice and looks at you. “Oh! Yn, I didn’t see you there.”

You laugh. “Don’t worry.”

“Why are you in town today?” he asks.

“I had a day off, so I decided to go shopping. Actually, I bought you a holiday gift.”

Jamie frowns. Does this mean that you aren’t going to let him take you out? “Oh.”

You look at him weirdly not sure why he’s acting the way he is. “Here,” you say and hand him the bag.

He takes the bag out of your hand and looks inside. He takes the blanket out and smiles. “A blanket? How did you know this was what I needed?”

“Some of the other soldiers were complaining, so I figured that you’d need one too,” you tell him, and the heat rises to your face.

“Meet us at the restaurant around the corner, okay?” Denis says. “We’ll leave you two lovebirds alone for the time being.”

There wasn’t any room for argument as the group walked away leaving you and Jamie alone.

“I hope it’s warm enough for you.”

“I’ll constantly be warmed at the thought that you bought something for me,” Jamie flirts.

“Oh, yeah?” you say with a raised eyebrow. “Who knew you were so smooth?”

“Every girl I’ve ever gone out with,” Jamie says confidently.

“Oh,” you say sadly. So, he just wants to take you on one date and that’s it?

“That’s a lie,” he corrects. “You’re the only one, yet I still haven’t taken you out yet.”

“Oh,” you say a bit more chipper.

“Because you got me a gift, does that mean I can’t take you out?”

You look at him with a smile. “You can take me out whether or not I got you a gift.”

“I have to join the boys for lunch, but do you want to join us?” Jamie asks nervously.

“Is this you taking me out?” you tease.

“No, I--”

“I’m only teasing. I’d love to join you guys,” you take Jamie’s hand, and he leads you towards the restaurant. Your shopping accomplished exactly what you wanted to get done, and you happened to leave that day with much more. Another fond memory of and with Jamie.

February 1943

“Let’s go over the plan one more time,” Kate says.

“I don’t even know why we need a plan,” you tell them. The plan? The attempt to get you and Jamie together at the Valentine’s Day Dance that night. The Officer’s Club was throwing a Valentine’s Day Dance for the soldiers and nurses to try to give the soldiers something to look forward to. The past month has been hopeful in the war effort with it being possible that it could be over soon. To celebrate, a Valentine’s Day Dance was being thrown.

“We need a plan because the two of you won’t ever get together unless we throw you two together,” Elizabeth says.

You shake your head. “I still don’t think we need a plan.”

“Too bad,” Kate says. “We have a plan. Elizabeth? Please go over it again.”

“Kate and I are going to coordinate with Tyler and Miro to put you and Jamie together as much as possible,” Elizabeth explains. “We are going to ask that they play a slow song so that Jamie will definitely ask you to dance because he is that kind of gentleman after all.”

“But, what if --” you try to say.

“No, we refuse to take any possible worst-case scenarios,” Kate interjects. “It’s not happening. Just enjoy the night and try to finally be with him, so you can both get together finally.”

You nod. “Okay, we’ll get there.”

. . .

The three of you walk into the Officer’s Club, and you’re met with an exorbitant amount of Valentine’s Day decorations. It was truly beautiful, and you felt that the worries of the war slowly drift away. You three walk to find your friends (mostly they want to put their plan into action as soon as possible).

“Hey guys,” Elizabeth says as you walk up to the group. You scan the group and see Tyler, Roope, Esa, Miro, John, and Denis, but you didn’t see Jamie anywhere. Maybe he was getting a drink?

“Hey, ladies,” Tyler says. “Don’t you three look beautiful.”

You all smile in thanks and compliment the boys back to him. You wanted to ask about where Jamie was, but you didn’t want to seem obvious. Thankfully, though, Kate says something for you.

“Where’s Jamie? We need him here, so he and Yn can finally get together.”

“He’s sick,” Roope answers.

“What?” you ask worriedly.

“Yeah, he caught a cold, so he’s staying in tonight. He didn’t want to get anyone else sick or get worse.”

“I hope he’s okay,” you say with a tinge of concern.

“He’s a big boy; he’ll be okay,” Tyler answers. “Although, you can go and see him. I’m sure he’ll love to see you. Our barracks are just a minute walk away.”

Your ears perk up. “Should I? I wouldn’t want him to be alone tonight.”

“Yes, yes, go,” Kate urges.

“I’ll walk you over to see him,” Roope offers. “Despite how close it is, you shouldn’t walk over alone.”

“Thank you, Roope,” you say, and you both head out. As you’re walking, you begin making conversation with him. “How’s your girlfriend back home?”

Despite the dark sky, you know that Roope has blushed. He always does when talking about his girlfriend back home. He’s so in love with her that it’s sickening but also cute. “She’s great. I got a letter from her the other day.”

“Do you miss her?”

“More than anyone or anything in the world.”

Your heart softens at Roope’s words. “You’ll be back home soon to see her; I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so,” Roope says with a sigh. “Here we are.”

“Thank you for walking me,” you say.

“Of course, just try to get him to walk you back, or wait for someone else to leave for the night to walk you back. If you’re not back in a few hours, I’ll come to make sure you’re good, okay?”

“You don’t have to,” you say.

“That’s what Jamie would want for the girl he loves.”

“What?”

Roope looks at you, and his eyes go wide at his mistake. “Nothing, enjoy seeing him.”

Jamie loves you?

You knock on the door and hear someone mumble a “come in”.

“Hey, Jamie,” you say as you walk in.

“Yn?” he asks.

You laugh. “Hey, some of the boys mentioned that you were sick, so I thought I’d come to see you.”

“But I’m sick,” Jamie pouts.

“That’s what I just said,” you said comically.

“Oh.”

“Can I do anything?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I think I’m okay. Just hang out?”

“That I can do,” you say. You ended up staying that night for about two and a half hours until Roope came back. Jamie ended up falling asleep almost half an hour in. You wanted to leave, but you knew that Roope and Jamie would be disappointed in you. You watched Jamie sleep for a bit (in a noncreepy way). There was something very calming about the way he slept. There was something that warms your heart the way he bundled into the blanket you bought him. Just the mere thought and sight of Jamie warmed your heart. Maybe you loved him, too.

July 1943

Jamie couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep running into you and falling for you. For the past four months, you and Jamie have randomly run into each other, but each time, Jamie wishes he finally got an actual date to go on a date with you. Every interaction fueled the fire and love in his eyes that kept him going. Every interaction fueled his love for you. Jamie knew you were the most beautiful woman ever. Jamie knew, now, though, that you were the only person for him. Jamie knew that he was going to marry you one day. He tried seeing you and expressing how he feels through chance, but now he was going to get help.

Jamie walks into the Nurses Station in search of Kate or Elizabeth.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Oleksiak, let me go get Yn,” Kate says teasingly as she sees Jamie walk inside.

“Actually,” Jamie stops. “I need your help.

“What for?”

“I keep leaving Yn and me seeing each other to chance, and I’m ridiculously in love with her,” Jamie explains. “I need your help to ensure that I can finally take Yn on a date.”

Kate nods with a giant smile on her face. “Let me help in any way I can.”

. . .

“Don’t forget,” Kate reminds. “We’re going to dinner at that nice restaurant tonight, so dress up nicely.”

You roll your eyes. “I know; you’ve only mentioned it a million times in the past four days.” You, Kate, and Elizabeth were going to a nice restaurant in town to celebrate. Celebrate what? You weren’t quite sure, but you weren’t going to pass up an opportunity to get dressed up.

You get off your shift at 5 that night, and you head to your barrack to get changed. You had a dark green dress that you bought recently but had yet to wear. You style your hair nicely into a ‘do that you know makes you look your best. You adjust the necklace Jamie got you so that the clasp was sitting at the back of your neck. At 5:50, you’re walking back to the Nurses Station to meet the girls. That’s where they decided to meet.

When you show up outside the Nurses Station, you don’t see anyone waiting outside, and most of the lights are off. You couldn’t recall if you were supposed to meet inside or outside, so you went inside knowing that it’d be more comfortable. You walk inside. Instead of seeing Kate and Elizabeth inside, you see Jamie standing there in his Army dress navy blues looking handsomely dashing. He looks almost like a prince.

“Oh, Jamie!” you say surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, yn,” Jamie says as his eyes admire your appearance. “You look so beautiful.”

The heat rushes to your face from being under Jamie’s gaze and his compliment. “Thank you, but you haven’t answered my question.”

“Oh, you look stunning,” Jamie says again. He couldn’t find the words to talk to you because you were so beautiful. Imagine how beautiful you’d look on your wedding day? Jamie, get ahold of yourself, Jamie thinks to himself. You need to take her on a date before you can propose to her.

“Thank you, Jamie; you look quite nice in your dress blues. However, what are you doing here? I’m supposed to be meeting Kate and Elizabeth for dinner tonight.”

“No, you’re not,” Kate says from behind Jamie. Where did she come from?

“You’re having dinner with Jamie instead,” Elizabeth says and emerges from her hiding place.

“Wait, but I thought --” you begin.

“I need help to get us together to go on a date because every time I brought it up, it never happened. I was tired of just seeing you about once a month,” Jamie explains.

You nod. “So you guys worked to get me here?”

Jamie nods.

“Why?” you ask curiously.

Jamie throws a deep chuckle your way and walks towards you. “Is it not obvious, Yn? I am so incredibly in love with you that I can’t keep doing whatever this is. Yn, I need you in my life, and I need you as more than a friend.”

“Well,” you begin after Jamie’s confession. “I’m incredibly in love with you, too, and I want all of that, too.”

Jamie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Oh, thank goodness. Does this mean I can take you out for dinner now?”

You giggle. “Yes, you can.”

Kate clears her throat from behind the two of you. “Flowers?” she asks, reminding Jamie.

Jamie mentally smacks his head. “Right,” he says and takes the flowers from Kate. “These are for you.”

You smile at Jamie’s bashfulness and giggle. “Thank you, Jamie.” You take the flowers from Jamie and lean in to smell them. “They’re beautiful.”

“But not as much as you,” Jamie flirts.

“Okay, you flirt,” you laugh. “Ready to take me out?”

“I’ve been ready for a while,” Jamie says and extends his hand for you to take.

“Be good, you two!” Elizabeth calls out as you both walk out.

As Jamie leads you to the bus, he leans down and places a kiss on your forehead. “You look beautiful.”

You smile at him. “You told me that already.”

“I’m going to keep telling you that for the rest of my life.”

“Thinking about forever already?” you say with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I do plan on marrying you,” Jamie tells you.

“I could be okay with that,” you tell him with a smile. Yeah, you wouldn’t mind marrying Jamie and spending the rest of your life with him.

Present Day

“That’s beautiful,” Alissa says.

“Did you really know you were going to marry grandma?” Clara asks her grandfather excitedly.

Jamie looks at you with a smile. “I did know that I was going to marry grandma. I knew she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and I knew that I was going to marry her the minute I met her.”

“You did?” Sawyer asks.

“I did,” Jamie reiterates. “My life is split into two -- before I met her and after I met her.”

“Which one’s better?” Clara asks excitedly.

“After I met her,” Jamie answers. He puts his hand in yours and looks at you with the most loving eyes. “Every day, I’m living my dream. I love you, Yn.”

You smile at your husband. “I love you, too, Jamie.”

Jamie gets up from his chair and walks over to you. He bends down and groans slightly at his back pains that have come from old age. He kisses you softly. The love in the kiss hasn’t wavered since day one; it’s only grown. You never once doubted his love for you, and he never doubted yours.

Meeting after docking in England (or maybe on that ship, depends on who’s telling the story) was what set your life in motion. You could never imagine a life without Jamie. After all these years, the love you have? It’s in the memories that you’ve shared and will continue to create.

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[jetaime-jespere]

Prompt #29/116

#29- Look at me/# 116. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Aaron crossed the line of objectivity somewhere between Morgan screaming his name through the bullpen, and listening to Benjamin Cyrus unleash his wrath on Emily two days later. He clenched a set of headphones with shaking hands and a surge of rage coiling deep in his chest and coursing through his veins. He can’t bring himself to think of it, knowing it’s partly his fault in the first damn place for sending her and Reid there.

It wouldn’t be the only line that’s been crossed in the months since his divorce papers were finalized, and what happened before and after the disaster that was New York City. It happened once, until it happened twice, and before long it was happening whenever they could sneak a few hurried moments. It was never supposed to happen but it did, and it adds an entirely different layer of complications. Despite their best intentions, those complications are now starting to creep into their work on what seems like an all too regular basis. It can’t happen, but it keeps happening.

The aftermath of New York left him uncomfortably vulnerable like never before. Kate’s death rocked him, and it was Emily’s patience and quiet concern that kept him from spiraling out of control. He blamed himself; he felt responsible for not being able to save her from bleeding out on a Midtown street. It was Emily’s quiet whispers in the dark in the days after that reminded him sometimes, we can’t win them all.

Now it’s his turn in a game they never asked to play, a turning of the tables.

“We gotta go in,” he’d said to Dave, trying and failing to conceal the anger in his tone. It’s the only option while not being an option at all; one that will only bring a negative outcome. He knows that, but objectivity is a myth at this point.

“We’d be risking the lives of everybody in there.” Dave had been annoyingly rational and the picture of calm throughout the entire hellish experience. His suspicions are abundantly clear, even if he’s tight lipped and completely neutral. He’d seen what happened shortly after New York and in Ohio, and Dave has been around long enough to know how these things go. So he stays close to Aaron, leads the hostage negotiation response and never wavers once over the course of the few days that seemingly never end.

With whatever degree of composure Aaron has left - the rest of it waned as the time in Colorado dragged on - he blindly follows Dave across the grounds towards the explosion and flames. Swarms of people emerge from the burning building in varying states of duress. The Colorado police attempt to triage survivors and maintain some semblance of order. Aaron barely hears them, because as the space between them closes, he has to pull himself together.

They’re okay, thank God, despite being bruised, dirty, and exhausted. The extent of their injuries will be confirmed in the coming hours, but his initial inspection is one of immediate relief. “Are you alright?” He asks, and both nod even as though his question is directed at her, a secret they’re both all too aware of.

“Yeah,” Emily manages, dazed and confused, her face a canvas of purple and red splotches in the shape of angry fists. Up close, it’s clear whatever she suffered at the hands of Benjamin Cyrus will remain for awhile, on the inside and out. Aaron swallows, and resists the urge to move closer to her. Hugging her would make all of this too real, a confirmation of their closely guarded secret. So he settles on a quick nod of his head before turning back to Reid, who looks just a little more shaken up than Aaron is comfortable with. Sooner rather than later they’ll have to give their statements; he’ll learn the rest of the details in due time. For now, there are other concerns. “Everyone from the compound is accounted for?”

“Torres said all but one,” Morgan says ruefully with a heaviness in his voice. “Nothing we could have done.”

Watching Emily limp toward the girl’s grieving mother is enough to make his stomach churn. It’s a minimal loss, but a loss nonetheless - one they were never going to win at all, and the rest of them avert their eyes as the woman wails in Emily’s arms. From over Mrs. Evanson’s shoulder, Aaron meets her gaze, not even bothering to hide the relief spreading on his face.

With the scene almost cleared and his standard level of gravitas fully returned, Aaron demands they be taken to the hospital. It’s the tone of his voice that tells them both not to argue; it’s not a request but an order. There’s a passing glance between Emily and Reid, one that tells him everything he needs to know - that whatever happened in that compound - the things he didn’t hear, is something they’ll always carry, some twisted bond between then. It’s a sobering reminder of how lucky they got, how different this could have turned out, one that keeps him all but silent as he follows the ambulances to the hospital. There’s still work to be done and calls to make - all of that can be done from the waiting room and on the flight home.

It’s the first time he’s been in a hospital since New York; it’s an experience he could have done without. Aaron is grateful it’s relatively quiet at 4:30 AM; luckily Emily and Reid are seen by doctors almost immediately. But there’s nothing quite like the eerie stillness of a hospital, with nothing but the occasional alarm or PA announcement for company, and he finds himself staring at his watch and then the clock on the wall with a frustrated sigh.

“It’s only been a half hour, Hotch” Morgan reminds him patiently without even looking up from the three day old newspaper in his hands. “It’s gonna be awhile.”

Morgan is right, he thinks, holding the pen in his hand a little tighter.

...

Almost two hours after she disappeared with the exhausted but kind nurse, Aaron cautiously pushes open the door of the exam room, not knowing what he’ll find. She’s perched uncomfortably on the rickety bed, all bandaged and stitched, the dirt cleaned off her face. Still, it doesn’t quite hide the damage; the blood still stains her clothes and the pungent odor of smoke still lingers in the air.

“Well?” He asks expectantly, resisting the urge to reach for the discharge papers that sit on the small tray next to the bed.

“A broken cheekbone, bruised eye, some bruised rib and some stitches.” Emily runs through the list of her injuries as if reading a grocery list or something equally casual. The wince on her face when she moves a little too quickly is her giveaway that it’s a bit more than that.

“Bruised?” He challenges with a lifted eyebrow. No fucking way.

“Fine,” she concedes, biting her bottom lip. “Two fractured. Several bruised. All sore.”

The look on his face must give him away, because she smiles warily, as if she doesn’t quite believe her own words. “It looks a lot worse than it is, Aaron.” She’s putting on a brave front he can see right through, no matter how much she tries to hide it.

“Bullshit,” Aaron snaps back, just a little too harshly. “If I knew -”

“I heard you almost took out the Colorado Attorney General.” Emily says under her breath, even though they’re out of earshot. “When did that happen?” She looks almost amused, and it feels like a distant memory after the endless drag of the previous hours.

“When he was threatening to obstruct a federal investigation.”

“Sounds like I missed a lot,” she quips with a slightly wry grin, one that emphasizes the swelling of her face. “You’ll have to fill me in.”

“I’d rather not,” he says, and for the first time since their rescue, he brushes his knuckles across a small stripe of untouched skin on her cheek.

“Not here, Aaron,” Emily’s face reddens. “Please.”

“I wanted to go in,” he says a little too quickly. “To get you both. I couldn’t … listening to what -“

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Emily picks at the seam of the bandage on her arm, effectively cutting him off. “That would have compromised the whole operation.”

“I know.” He doesn’t care.

She folds her arms stubbornly and looks away, as if disappointed by his confession, his lack of objectivity. He takes it as a cue to leave, turning on his heel with a scrape of his shoe. “I’ll go check on Reid. I’m … it’s … “ he searches for words but they don’t quite materialize.

“Me too,” Emily says quietly before falling silent.

There will be time for talking later.

...

He shows up at her hotel room door, and even though she’s expecting him (she has been for awhile now),and she almost laughs at the irony of how the tables have turned in just weeks. It sends an ache through her chest, one that she’ll soon be used to. According to the ER doctor, it’ll take weeks for her ribs to heal. Now she sees the full extent of the burden of the last few days - the slight droop of his shoulders, the shadow of exhaustion leaving a pallor on his face.

“What’s so funny?” Aaron snaps, his jaw clenched tightly as he pushes past her, closing the door on his way. “Two of my agents almost got killed today.”  He doesn’t remind her that she is one of the two.

Well, okay then, Emily thinks with a huff, taking note of the fact he’s still wearing his button down shirt, the sleeves rolled to the elbows. How long has he been in these clothes?  “Did you show up to chastise me, Aaron, or is there a point?” She can’t hide the annoyance in her own voice. She’s just as cranky as he is, desperately in need of some food, and something tells her this hotel bed won’t be kind to her throbbing ribs.

He’s studying her, assessing the damage he can see, and what he can’t. “Show me,” he says, his voice simultaneously soft and firm. It’s not a request but not quite a demand, as if he’s not prepared to see what’s there. And yet, she knows he won’t leave until he gets what he came for.

“You already- “ she attempts.

“Emily.” This time his voice cracks just a little. “Please.”

With a soft sigh and roll of her eyes, she lifts the hem of the oversized shirt she’s wearing. It’s one of his - he notices for the first time - and peels away the wraps and bandages she’s acquired, like some kind of fucked up armor. Aaron takes it all in - every bruise, scrape, and stitch - each a reminder of his self-imposed culpability. His touch is gentle, overwhelmingly so, as he surveys each wound with defeat.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” His face is lined with unrelenting guilt, all consuming and real. “I shouldn’t have ever signed off on this. None of this would have happened.”

No, she thinks. “Look at me, Aaron” Emily says calmly, her voice steady with reason and logic as she shakes her head resoundingly. “I’m fine.” She pauses, running a hand through her hair. “Reid is fine too. It’ll take him a little while … to forgive himself,” she adds. “He blames himself. He shouldn’t, but he does.” Her assessment of him succinctly accurate, laced with compassion for him. She knows his mind like she knows her own. “But he got lucky today. We both did. You did all the right things. Sometimes … it just doesn’t go our way.”

“Hasn’t been going our way as of late , has it?”

He’s right. It’s been a shitty few months to say the least. Emily laughs softly, and when he wraps her into his embrace, carefully, she rests her weary head against his chest, it finally feels as if this whole miserable experience is over.

“There’s always tomorrow,” she says, voice muffled by his shirt. She doesn’t have to ask if he’s staying the night; it’s all but a given.

“When we get back,” Aaron murmurs, his chin tucked protectively over her head. “You still owe me that dinner you promised.”

She smiles even though he can’t see it. “Deal.”

[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 16

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1714

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Pregnancy

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 16

Natasha and Clint had both been attending birthing classes with you.  It made sense really, they both planned to be there and this was their baby you were growing, even if you had started to think with the word ‘our’ more now.  The classes were a little scary.  Having to watch birthing videos made you worry there would be some kind of complication.  It was one thing for your body to stretch to let out the little girl growing inside you, but if they had to do a cesarean then you were pretty sure she was going to get stuck.  There was no way your body would allow itself to go unhealed long enough to cut her out of you.

Still, even though the classes were a little stress-inducing, it was nice to see Clint and Natasha respond to them.  They each had their specialties and weaknesses and seeing them working together, it was easy to understand how they worked so well as a team.  While they both were fine watching the birthing videos, Clint watched on like it was a horror movie and he was waiting for the Xenomorph to punch its way out of the mother’s chest.  Natasha was much calmer about it, like seeing a baby passing out the birthing canal was just another standard day for her.  Clint was terrible at helping you with breathing exercises, he just couldn’t take them seriously and if you followed along you’d be prone to hyperventilating.  Whereas, Natasha was nothing if not calm and serious about them.  On the other hand, Natasha struggled to change a diaper on a doll, whereas Clint could do it blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back.

The classes were just held by the doctor who would be delivering your baby at the compound and a couple of the nurses too.  Obstetrics wasn’t used a lot on-site, and while the doctor and one of the nurses were both experts, the rest of the staff were more versed at emergency patch-ups so they’d come along to brush up their knowledge before the big day.  It was good to not have to worry about people treating you strangely because Natasha and Clint were celebrities or because there were three of you.  Everyone at the compound was used to what the three of you had now.

As you left the class Clint was babbling about whether or not drugs would work for you for the pain.  “I don’t see why the drugs wouldn’t work.  I mean, my body would probably physically reject the needle if I got an epidural, but pethidine would be okay and they said they’d be me Nitrous Oxide if I want.”

“Can I use it?” Clint asked.

“No, you can’t, birdbrain,” Natasha teased.  “Go get your illegal drugs elsewhere.”

“You can just squeeze Nat’s hand extra tight,” Clint said.  “But not mine.  I need them for my job.”

Natasha laughed.  “And I don’t ever use my hands?”

“Not the way I do,” Clint argued.

You laughed and opened the door as you looked back at them.  “You guys are such…”

“Surprise!!”

The shout of the group of people currently in the apartment made you jump and you spun around to see the room filled with people to almost breaking point. The place was decorated with pink streamers and matching pearlescent balloons.  There was a banner along the wall that spelled out ‘Baby Shower’ in a gold script.  Pink pieces of card cut into circles hung from various points of the ceiling with the words ‘Baby Shower’ repeated again and again in the same font.  The dining table was laid out with fruit, finger sandwiches, dips, cheese, and crackers.  At the center of it all,  sitting on a raised cake stand was a round cake with pale pink frosting.  A banner made out of sugar paste flags spelled out ‘BABY GIRL’ around the side and a sugar paste stork stood on the top holding a pink bundle.

The coffee table had been moved to the side and was stacked high with gifts, all wrapped in some combination of pink, white, silver, and gold.

At the front of the group was Kate Bishop and Wanda Maximoff stood holding out glasses of champagne with what looked like red flowers blooming in the bottom of the glass.  “Happy baby shower, guys,” Kate said.

“You bad girls,” Natasha scolded, kissing each of them on the cheek and taking a glass.  “I thought we were doing this in the function room.”

“Yeah, but a surprise is better,” Kate said.  “Don’t you think?”

“I think you’re both lucky none of us were armed,” Clint said, taking a glass for himself.  “I was ready to kick some ass.”

“Why do you think we chose immediately after your birthing class to do this?”  Kate teased, handing a glass of champagne to Clint.  “We know Doctor Harding doesn’t let you take weapons with you.”

“Here this one is for you,” Wanda said, handing you a glass.  “Non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice.  I know it’s not that exciting, but at least you can participate.”

“It’s lovely, thank you, Wanda,” you said.  “What’s the flower at the bottom?”

“It’s a hibiscus,” she said.  “Kate and I were looking up ideas, and it seemed nice and fitted with the theme.”

“Is the theme pink?”  Natasha asked.

“I wanted to go purple,” Kate said.  “But Wanda wouldn’t let me.”

“Damn it, Wanda,” Clint joked.

“It’s not just your baby, Clint,” Wanda huffed.

“Oh, Wanda,” Natasha soothed.  “It’s lovely, you both did a great job.”

The three of you were practically dragged into the party and began to mingle.  Kate and Wanda had done a great job with the guest list.  All the Avengers were there, as were a lot of the other staff you, Clint, and Natasha were close to.  There were also family and friends from your old life pre-avengers, though they looked very overwhelmed by the whole experience.

Unfortunately, the sheer number of people at the party meant the apartment was over capacity.  There was barely any room to stand let alone sit.  As you mingled shoulder to shoulder with your friends, you started to long for a comfortable seat.

There was a tapping of glass and you turned around to see Tony standing on the arm of a chair.  “I think we all agree that surprising these three was a lot of fun, but this apartment is too small for this.  So how about they open gifts and we all move it to the function room?”

There was a cheer and you, Nat, and Clint were shuffled to the couch where you were made to take a seat and open gifts.

There were a lot of gifts.

It wasn't long before you started losing track of everything among the cute little onesies and tiny shoes, the three-tiered cakes made of diapers and bottles, stuffed toys, rattles, teethers, and little wooden pull-toys.  There were a few standouts.  Kate had gotten a little onesie with a purple chevron that looked like the exact copy of the t-shirt Clint practically lived in.  Carol brought an onesie that had I love my mommies and daddy on it with three big cartoon bunnies around a much smaller one.  Tony, Pepper, and Morgan bought a stuffed giraffe that was so big his horns brushed the roof.  Pepper made it clear it had nothing to do with her and all Tony and Morgan’s doing.

When all the gifts were unwrapped everyone started grabbing food and party games and carrying them over to the main building.  It was amusing seeing the huge flock of people moving through the halls carrying plastic babies and plates of sandwiches.

When the group arrived it spread out like fluid, expanding to fit the function rooms’ much larger space.  Food was laid out on the tables.  Games were set up.  People started helping themselves to drinks from the bar.

You grabbed yourself a drink and a selection of food and took a seat on the couch, putting your feet up.

“Is it wearing you out?”  Steve Rogers asked, coming to sit beside you.

“Yeah, I’m always starting to wane by now, she’s really active in there,” you explained.  “And with the birthing class as well.”

“Is she kicking now?  Can I feel?”  Steve asked.

“Sure,” you said, taking his hand and pressing it where she was currently kicking.  It took a moment, but she soon shoved against his hand with what felt like all her might.

“Wow, she’s a strong one,” Steve said with a smile.

You chuckled. “Well look at who her parents are,” you agreed.  “She’s going to be a fighter.”

“I guess she is,” Steve smiled.  “It was very selfless of you to offer to do this for them.  Especially given you must have had feelings for them when you did.”

“Well, the sparks, I guess,” you confirmed.  “They were my best friends - are my best friends.  This was their only chance to have kids, and you of all people should know what it feels like when there’s a good that can be done and it’s in your power to do it.”

Steve smiled affectionately at you.  “I guess I do.”

“It’s moot now anyway, we’re all in it together,” you said.

“How do you feel about that?”  Steve asked.

You smiled and nodded.  “It’s a little scary.  Didn’t exactly plan to be a parent.  But I’m excited.”

“Well, good,” Steve said.  “It’s not really conventional, and I’m not sure I totally get it, but I understand love, and Nat and Clint were never conventional.  I think the three of you have got this.”

“Thanks, Steve,” you said.  “That’s always good to hear.”

“Attention everyone!” Kate called out, over the P.A.  “I think it’s time to play some games, and I don’t know about you, but I’d like to see which of the three future parents can change a diaper the quickest.  So get up here you three.  Anyone else, if you’d like to challenge them, we have plenty of dolls and diapers, and there’s a prize.”

Steve chuckled.  “Sounds like you’re up.”

You laughed and shook your head as you pulled yourself to your feet.  Today was going to be a long and very strange day.

// NEXT

[brywrites]

Flight Risk V

Summary: An answer to the age old CM question, “who’s flying the plane?” And the story of a pilot and a profiler.  Part V: In which important words are shared in a bookstore and on a plane.

(Series Masterlist) ( Previous  |  Next )

----

She arrives slightly out of breath to the bookstore-café. “Sorry, it’s really not like me to be late!”

Reid offers her a smile as she jumps into the order line beside him. “It’s okay, I know.”

“Yeeqin locked herself out of the apartment again so I had to run back to open it for her,” she sighs, shaking her head. A soft flush colors her cheeks and he’s not sure whether it’s from running or from embarrassment. Or perhaps she too is as nervous as he is to be meeting here. Because this means stepping over some sort of unspoken line, it means something more real. Whatever it is. Reid still isn’t sure what this is, but he knows that there is something about her smile that makes his chest tighten and that there are few people he looks forward to talking to as much as Y/N.

He realizes that aside from that evening in the hotel lobby, he’s never seen her wearing something other than her pilot’s uniform. She sits before him in a floral-print sundress and a bomber jacket that is ever so slightly askew, exposing the skin of her left shoulder.

“Yeeqin is your roommate?” he asks.

“Yeah. And I love her to bits, but I swear even though I’m the pilot, she’s the one whose head is always in the clouds.” And it strikes him that for someone who loves the sky so much, Y/N is incredibly down-to-earth. “But enough about me,” she laughs. “How are you doing, Doctor?”

Her use of his title always seems to make his heartbeat quicken no matter how many times he tries to ignore it. “I’m good. Really good. It’s, uh, nice to be able to see you without there being a case.”

“It is nice, isn’t it? Knowing that talking with you doesn’t mean someone is in imminent danger. I can feel a lot less guilty about enjoying it.” He wants so badly to ask what she means by that – if she enjoys seeing him the way friends do, or if she enjoys being with him a little bit more than that – but he’s too afraid to know the answer. Afraid it might be less and he’ll feel disappointed. Afraid it might be more and he won’t be – because what is he even hoping for here? What is he supposed to be hoping for, if anything at all?

They order drinks – a mocha with he pours far too much sugar into, and chai latte she carefully sprinkles cinnamon in. They walk through the bookstacks together, drinks in hand, browsing and chatting as they go. She tells him how she fell in love with The Little Prince as a child and how she found the idea of being a pilot fascinating, even then. He tells her about the books his mother used to read to him when he was little, Medieval texts and Proust and The Canterbury Tales.

“That’s pretty intense reading for a kid,” she says.

“Well I can read 20,000 words per minute. And the eidetic memory helps.”

She shakes her head in disbelief. “Right, our certified genius. You know I’m jealous. I don’t think I’ll ever have enough time to read all the things I want to read. But you? You can read anything you want.”

“These days it’s mostly casefiles,” he says ruefully.

“Good thing we’re here then. We’ll have to find you some lighter words to keep in that beautiful brain of yours.”

It’s so easy with her. He finds himself telling her about his mother, about how she used to be a professor of literature until her disease got worse. And when he explains she has schizophrenia, she doesn’t give him a look of pity. As if he’s broken somehow. Her eyes soften and she says, “It has to be hard, caring for a parent. You must love her a lot. And I’m sure she’s really proud to have a son like you to carry on all her best stories.”

She tells him how her parents weren’t exactly thrilled with her choice of career, but how she’s certain there’s nothing else that would make her as happy as flying, and how for two months after she moved to DC her only friends in the city were her cat, Amelia, and Yeeqin because she traveled too much for work to put down roots. “I guess at some point you have to decide whether you want adventure or stability, and I think I’m always trying to walk that line. I’m not ready to give up what I love, but I don’t want to let everything else in life pass me by, you know?”

And he does. He knows that the longer he’s at the BAU the more unlikely it is he’ll have the time to teach, to build a family, to pursue other dreams. But at the same time there’s something about the work he just doesn’t know how to step away from.

They sit in chairs in the travel section while she opens a book of maps to point out some of her favorite places she’s flown to, and the places she still wants to go. “Every year I tell myself I’ll find a way to get to Iceland or South Africa, and every year they seem to pass me by.”

“Did you know that Iceland was the last place on earth to be settled by humans? I mean, the last to be permanently settled, when it was accidentally discovered by Vikings.”

“I had no idea,” she says, and something about her smile makes him want to tell her more.

“It’s also an incredibly literary country. Statistically, one in ten Icelanders will publish a book in their lifetime, and books are such popular gifts that many are published right before Christmas. There’s actually a term for it, in Icelandic, jólabókafló∂, the ‘Christmas book flood.’”

She laughs and for a second Reid wonders if he’s rambled too much, but she says, “How on earth do you know that?” and he relaxes.

“Just reading a lot. I… like knowing things.” Anything could be useful in the field, at any time. Or in a bookstore, in the company of a woman whose smile feels like a prize he just wants to keep earning.

“Do you ever want to go there?”

“I don’t know. I never really travelled much before the BAU. Actually the first flight I took was to DC for a job interview. I was terrified so I read three different handbooks on aviation and aerodynamics just so I could feel more comfortable. Understanding it helped me to feel less scared. And now I fly so much I don’t really even think about it.”

Y/N closes the book and puts it back on the shelf. “One of these days we’ve got to get you on a plane for pleasure rather than business,” she says.

They stand together in the checkout line, Y/N with a copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and Reid with a copy of Wind, Sand, and Stars which came highly recommended by her. As they step outside, the sky opens into a downpour. He grimaces, already searching in his bag for his umbrella, but looks up to see her standing beyond the awning, arms outstretched, wearing a grin as the rain hits her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing?”

She spins a circle. “Dancing in the rain,” she laughs. “I love the rain, but I don’t really get to enjoy it when I’m flying because it makes it so much more stressful. I’ve got to focus on what I’m doing. But on the ground I can just let it be. And appreciate the gray sky and the sound of the rain.” She steps back under the awning to join him. “But it will be a damp walk home without my umbrella. I totally forgot it at home.”

“I have one,” he says, and then adds, without thinking, “I could walk you home.” She raises her eyebrows and he worries he’s stepped over that invisible line. “I mean, if it’s not too far and you don’t mind, but I also don’t have to I just thought maybe-”

“I’d love that,” she says. “Thanks, Reid.” And so he opens his umbrella and she squeezes close to him beneath it. They walk the few blocks to her apartment, and all the while he is keenly aware of her elbow against his and her shoulder brushing his arm. And he doesn’t mind one bit. All too soon they reach the steps of her building and he’s not quite ready to say goodbye and end this magical moment where there is no danger and no impending departure and no work to be done. Just the two of them and stories shared and all the words they could want as the rain falls around them. So close under the umbrella, she looks up at him, as if she’s trying to find just the rights words and he can’t help but be distracted by the way her jacket is falling off her shoulder again and how it looks so lovely in a way he can’t quite make sense of and he’s thinking that maybe if he took just another step closer they’d be able to fill this silence with something –

But then the silence is broken by the abrupt sound of a window opening followed by someone shouting, “Y/N!”

They step apart, startled, and glance up at the gray sky. From the second story, a pale woman with sleek black hair pokes her head out of a window. A trail of smoke exits the open window, mingling with the rain. “Thank goodness you’re back! I burned the chicken, so we’re gonna have to order out for dinner!”

Y/N sighs. “That would be Yeeqin,” she says. Then raising her voice to call back up she says, “Give me just a minute and we can figure out carryout!”

“Hey is that the FBI guy you were t-”

“I’ll be right there!” Y/N yells. The window closes, and she turns back to him, looking a little more flustered. The moment is gone. “I should get up there before she burns the apartment down.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“This was really nice though.” She makes no move to leave.

“Maybe we can do it again sometime?”

“I’d like that, Reid.”

And his last name sounds so formal. He doesn’t want formal, not with her. “Uh, you can – you can call me Spencer, you know.” They stand there for just a beat and he wants so badly to reach out for her hand. But he doesn’t.

Then she says, “I’ll see you soon, Spencer.” Y/N walks into her apartment, and he’s still replaying the sound of her voice saying his name in his mind, so focused on trying to commit this whole afternoon to memory that it takes him two blocks of walking before he realizes he’s going the wrong way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They’re waiting for Kate and Morgan to arrive, but the rest of the team is already anxious. She and Arthur can hear them talking as they prepare the cockpit.

“All I’m saying is given the reports, I just don’t know if flying is the safest way to get there,” Rossi says.

“It’s the only way we’re getting all the way to Colorado in time,” Hotch responds.

“We are a pretty small plane though, and whatever happened took down a large passenger plane,” JJ counters. “What if this is a terrorist attack?” Beside her Arthur tenses, but he says nothing.

Rossi says, “On 9/11 we grounded flights to be safe. How do we know this won’t happen again?” Arthur hastily puts on his headphones and busies himself with the controls.

“We just have to hope.”

Y/N knows it’s not her place, but their conversation is clearly unnerving Arthur. She can’t just stand by while her friend and captain is uncomfortable. Before he can stop her, she steps into the cabin where the BAU sits.

“You can do more than hope,” she says. The gathered faces turn to look at her. “I don’t mean to be out of line, Agent Rossi, but I overheard your concerns. Captain Dobson and I are good at what we do. And he’s one of the best pilots I’ve ever worked with. I know this can be scary but I promise that you’re in good hands with us. You trust your team with your lives because you trust them to do a good job. I’m asking that you do the same for us. We may not be a part of the team, but we always get you home safe. This is our job, and we do it well.”

“Of course you’re a part of the team,” Spencer says. Everyone’s gaze flickers to him, but he’s looking right at her. The air feels warmer with those hazel eyes focused on her. “You’re with us for every case. And you’re right. You’ve always kept us safe. We need to trust them,” he adds, glancing at the rest of his team.

“I’m sorry,” Rossi says. “I didn’t mean to insult either of you.”

“No offense taken,” she says. But she wants to be sure any tension is cleared from the air. “But uh, for what it’s worth we’ve restocked the whisky in the minibar if that’ll help you feel a little more relaxed on today’s flight.” The older agent gives her a smile, and she knows all is well. She steals once last glance at Spencer, hoping she can read the gratitude in her eyes, before ducking back into the cockpit. Soon enough the rest of the team arrives. Some quick communication with the tower, and Geff is up in the air again. They fly in silence through the clear blue sky, and it’s not until they’ve reached cruising altitude that Arthur speaks.

“I was flying that day.” Y/N glances at him. She doesn’t have to ask him to specify the date. She simply waits for him to continue. “I flew for United back then. I was a first officer. We were flying from London to Newark and halfway across the Atlantic someone called in over air-to-air telling us there had been a terrorist attack. Next thing we knew we were receiving orders to land in Canada. This tiny town in the middle of nowhere called Gander. There were 37 other planes on the tarmac. We sat there for 12 hours while the RCMP inspected every jet before we could deplane. And we had to tell the passengers what happened. We were there for five days. They said we doubled the population of the town.”

“What was it like?” she asks.

“We were terrified. We had no idea if our plane was at risk of being hijacked. We hardly knew what was happening or why. And we had to try to keep 200 passengers calm. Not to mention there was no way to know if any of our friends had been flying the planes that were used. But it was strange,” he says staring out at the sky. “Despite all of that fear and grief, we were surrounded by some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. They fed us, housed us, gave us clothes. They brought us out to pubs and held dinners and parties and did everything they could to make us feel welcome. Seven thousand strangers from around the world, and this little town never hesitated to help us and never asked for anything in return. It was incredible.

“It was actually a little sad to say goodbye. But when we finally flew back into Newark we saw the devastation. Ground Zero was still burning. It was awful. People had flyers up for loved ones they hadn’t heard from. And for a while, people stopped flying. Everyone was too scared to be in the air.” She remembered being in college at the time. The shock and the sorrow. The anger – the day her friend went to her work-study job at the library and found her desk defaced with Islamophobic hate speech. And the fear that seemed almost palpable. Students afraid to fly home for the holidays or to travel abroad. Flying had always seemed so magical, but suddenly a plane had become a weapon.

“My friend was the first officer on Flight 93. We were close. And I know he would have done anything to protect that plane and its passengers. I know all of those pilots would have. Any pilot would. It’s our job. That day always reminds me of the friend I lost. And the moment that someone turned the pure joy of flying into something dangerous. But at the same time, I’ll always remember the kindness that Gander gave us when we needed it most.”

She tries to picture the Captain stranded in Gander, surrounded by kind Newfoundlanders in plaid, waiting for a world that has stopped turning to begin again. It’s impossible to imagine what he must have felt. But she’s grateful he’s willing to tell her about it.

“You’re impulsive, Y/L/N,” Dobson continues. She flinches, startled by the sudden change of subject and the words he’s chosen. “Speaking to Agent Rossi like that was out of line. But you did it out of kindness. I want to thank you for that.”

“What?” What she did earlier is exactly the sort of thing he would usually reprimand her for or lecture her about. But he doesn’t at all seem disappointed in her.

“You need to think things through,” he concedes, “but I know you don’t take such actions out of pride or spite. You do it because your heart is in the right place. You’re kind. And that’s a very good thing to be.” He clears his throat. “Although I do wish you’d let your head take the lead more often.”

She smiles. “Thank you, sir.” The sky is clear all around them. Their passengers in the back are quiet. However scary the world may be, this moment in this plane, flying up there still feels magical.

After a pause, Arthur says, “Betty White and Rebecca Black.” And the soul-baring has passed. Another one of their in-flight verbal games is afoot. People who should be arch-nemeses but aren’t.

“Freddie Mercury and Bruno Mars,” she counters.

“Vivienne Westwood and Clint Eastwood.”

It takes her several minutes to come up with, “Ken Burns and John Waters.”

“Damn, that’s good,” Arthur says. And so they pass the rest of the flight attempting to find all the pairs they can. Soon enough they’re landing at Durango La-Plata’s small county airport. The team deplanes and she and Arthur go about cleaning the cockpit and cabin. They grab their own respective go-bags and say farewell to Geff. It surprises her however, to see that the team is still there, evidently waiting for Bureau SUVs to arrive judging by the way Hotch keeps looking towards the road. But Spencer is standing away from the rest of the group, bouncing on the soles of his feet near the jet stairs. Dobson gives her a glance, eyebrows raised, and says he’ll meet her at the door to catch a cab together.

“Hey,” Spencer says.

“Hey, yourself.” She pulls her go-bag up on her shoulder, feeling a little self-conscious suddenly. The cool Colorado air has her grateful to be wearing a blazer. “Um, I wanted to thank you,” she tells him. “For what you said earlier. You didn’t have to do that, but I’m happy you stood up for us.”

Spencer rubs the back of his neck. “Of course. And I meant what I said. You and Captain Dobson are a part of this team. I know we don’t always show it, but we’re really grateful for both of you. I just want you to know that we notice. And we care. I care.”

There is an unspoken weight to those two words that hangs between them as she meets his eyes. She wants to ask him exactly what he means by that – exactly how much he cares and whom for and in what way. But before she can, Morgan calls for Spencer to join them. Two black SUVs are ready to take them away.

“I’d better go,” he says.

“I know. Be safe out there, Doctor.”

“I will. You, too. I’ll see you soon.” And then he’s gone. She joins Arthur on the curbside and moments later they’re climbing into a taxi together. Arthur is on the phone with his boyfriend to let him know they’ve landed safely. Y/N stares out the window at the tall trees and the clear sky and thinks that ‘soon’ can’t possibly come soon enough.

[singledarkshade]

Foster Parents

Summary: Rory finds a lost boy who says his dad looks like Rory. Author’s Notes: Hope you enjoy.                                *********************************************

Rory Williams loved his job.

People sometimes looked at him strangely whenever he said he was a nurse, the question why he wasn’t a doctor always came up. But Rory didn’t care, being a nurse was something he was proud of and he was extremely good at.

There was less than an hour until the end of his shift, and Rory ducked into room 6 so he could write his notes in peace. As he started working Rory frowned hearing a noise nearby.

He gripped his pen tightly in case he needed to defend himself, before slowly turning to where the noise came from and stared finding a little boy curled in the corner.

“What are you doing here?” Rory asked gently, “Are your parents in the hospital?”

Slowly the child turned showing a sliver of blue eye, before he gasped and whispered, “Daddy?”

Rory frowned looking to make sure no one was there, “Is your dad here?”

The boy gave him a confused look before saying, “Yes.”

“Good,” Rory smiled, “Where is he?”

Still looking confused the boy pointed at Rory. Fear struck him that this was another River situation before the boy suddenly frowned.

“You’re not,” surprise filled the boy’s voice, “You look like him but he has a scar here,” the boy touched just at his eyebrow, “When he was my age someone hit him.”

Stunned at this sudden wealth of information, Rory paused for a moment before he asked, “What’s your name?”

“Jonas.”

“My name is Rory,” he introduced himself, “And I’m going to help you find your dad, okay?”

Jonas nodded.

“Can you come and sit on the bed?” Rory asked, now he’d seen the boy better could see bruises on his face.

Jonas slowly moved towards Rory, warily looking around the room in case someone suddenly attacked him.

“I’m going to lift you onto the bed,” Rory told him, “So I can see you better. Okay?”

Jonas mused for a moment before nodding, Rory gave him a smile and picked the boy up easily placing him in the centre of the bed. The boy wrapped his arms around himself and Rory could see he was not only afraid but also cold. Grabbing one of the blankets from the bedside cupboard, Rory wrapped it around Jonas tucking it around him.

“Did someone hurt you, Jonas?” Rory asked softly while he checked the child as gently as possible.

Jonas huddled down into his blanket whispering, “The bad man. He hurt my mummy first, she fell down and didn’t get up again. Then there was a bright light, and I was here.”

Before Rory could say anything, noise from outside preceded several men dressed head to toe in black carrying automatic weapons.

Rory grabbed Jonas from the bed and held him close turning his body to protect the boy. Annoyance filled him when he heard a familiar voice coming towards him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he snapped when Kate Stewart, head of UNIT, walked through the door. Rory hugged the boy closer as Jonas cuddled fearfully against his shoulder.

“Rory?” she looked at him surprised, “We detected a high level of Artron radiation in this room. Protocol dictates we have to treat it as possibly hostile until shown otherwise.”

“As you can see, I am here with a child,” Rory stated sharply, “Put the damn guns down now.”

Kate motioned the soldiers to lower their weapons, “Stand down. Head back to base.”

While she sorted the soldiers, Rory tried to put Jonas back on the bed but the boy wouldn’t let go of him.

“Hey,” Rory said softly, “I am not going anywhere. I need to talk to Kate, but we’ll just be on the other side of the room.”

“Talking about me?”

Surprised by the boy’s intelligence Rory nodded, “A bit but I also want to be angry at her for scaring us. I will only be there and if you need me you just call my name. Okay?”

Jonas bit his lip, and Rory could see he was musing over this but finally the boy nodded.

Rory gently stroked the boy’s check comfortingly before motioning Kate into the corner.

“What is going on?” Rory demanded.

Kate held up her hand to pacify him, “As I said we detected high level of Artron radiation coming from this room. If I’d known about the boy, I would never have allowed the soldiers in first. Who is he?”

“I don’t know,” Rory said before sighing, “He’s called Jonas and he said I look like his dad, although at first he thought I was.”

Kate frowned confused, “That’s odd. But if you can get us a DNA sample, I’ll have my team check into that. We also need to find a place for him to stay until…”

“I’ll take him,” Rory said instantly.

Kate smiled slightly, “Are you sure? I know Amy…”

“We’ll take him,” Rory repeated stubbornly, “Amy will be fine.”

Nodding she said, “Alright. I will let you know anything we find out. Keep me up to date if he tells you anything else.”

With a smile to the boy Kate left.

Jonas looked up when Rory came back over to him.

“How do you feel about coming home with me for now?” Rory asked.

Shrugging Jonas looked at his fingers.

“I know you don’t know me very well,” Rory said, “But I live with my wife, Amy and we will keep you safe while we try to find your dad.”

Jonas bit his lip, “What is she like?”

“Amy?”

Jonas nodded.

Rory smiled, “She is brilliant and beautiful. Her hair is red like fire and she has been my best friend since I was your age.”

“Will she like me?” Jonas asked quietly.

“Of course she will,” Rory told him, before gently nudging the boy’s shoulder, “But you are very likeable.”

Jonas smiled properly, “I’d like to stay with you.”

                                 *********************************************

 Rory was a little nervous about springing Jonas on Amy, but it wasn’t exactly a conversation they could have over the phone.

As the taxi drew up to the house, Rory gave the little boy a comforting smile. Sliding out he took Jonas’ hand and led him to the door, hoping Amy wouldn’t have his head for not talking to her. But Rory couldn’t leave the little boy.

“Amy,” he called when he opened the door, “I’m home.”

The kitchen door opened and his amazing wife appeared, “Hey…lo?”

“Amy,” Rory said, “I want you to meet Jonas. He’s a little lost,” Rory explained, “And I said he could stay with us for a few days while Kate tries to find his dad.”

She stared a Rory for a few seconds before crouching down so she was face to face with the boy, “Hi, Jonas. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” Jonas gave a soft smile adding after a moment, “Your hair is really pretty.”

Amy grinned, “How about we order in some food and get you settled in?”

Jonas gave a shy nod.

“Jonas, can you go with Amy?” Rory asked, “I want to try to find you something clean to wear and we’ll get you some proper clothes tomorrow.”

Nervously Jonas moved to Amy’s side. Rory ruffled the boy’s hair before he started up the stairs, pausing for a moment to watch Amy and Jonas. Amy was talking about what food she liked.

Reaching their room, Rory found one of his t-shirts for Jonas to wear overnight. They’d wash his clothes tonight and buy him some things tomorrow. A knock on the door made Rory frown confused, that couldn’t be food already.

“Rory,” Amy called up, “Come here.”

Heading downstairs, Rory stared surprised to see Kate Stewart standing there.

“Just a quick visit,” Kate told him, “I pulled together some clothes for Jonas,” she motioned to the bag Amy was holding, “And to see if you managed to get a DNA sample.”

Rory grabbed his jacket and pulled out the small swab of the little boy’s mouth he’d done before they left the hospital, “The moment you know anything, we want to know.”

Kate nodded, “Of course.”

“You could have sent someone to do this,” Rory noted.

“I could,” Kate smiled, “But you’re right, he is just a little boy and I wanted to make sure he was alright.”

Amy nodded, “We’re just about to order dinner.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” Kate said, “I’ll call if I have any information, or if you have anything call me.”

They said their goodbyes and Rory took the bag off her, returning to the living room he discovered it was empty. Trying not to panic Rory looked around the furniture where he found Jonas hiding in a corner. Relief covered the boy’s face to see Rory.

“Hey,” Rory crouched down to coax him out, “It’s alright. It was just Kate, you remember her from the hospital, she brought you some clothes.”

Warily Jonas moved out his hiding spot, Rory drew the little boy into his arms and hugged him tightly.

“It’s okay,” Rory soothed, “You’re safe here. I promise.”

 Amy sat watching Jonas half asleep cuddled close to Rory, as the movie played on in the background. The little boy was sweet, but he was obviously scared and she could see that Rory was the only one he truly trusted right now.

Since they’d lost Melody, they’d not talked much about children. They were young enough they didn’t have to think about it right now. But seeing Rory with the boy made Amy remember how perfect he would be as a father.

“I think,” Rory said softly, making Amy turn to him, “It’s time for someone to go to bed.”

Amy nodded, watching Rory slide Jonas up onto his shoulder. The little boy protested he wasn’t tired but as his eyes were closed his protests didn’t hold much weight. Rory carried Jonas upstairs to the spare bedroom, Amy pulled back the covers so that Rory could slide the little boy into it. Jonas sighed, curling into the pillow already fast asleep.

“He’s a lovely little boy,” Amy said softly as they tiptoed out the room.

“Sorry I didn’t give you any warning,” Rory told her, “But with UNIT showing up and everything he told me, I couldn’t leave him there.”

Amy kissed him, “I understand. And I’m glad you did. He needs you.”

They reached their own room and Rory sat on the bed, “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

“Which is?” suspicion filled his wife’s eyes.

“When I first found Jonas in the hospital room,” Rory explained, “He thought I was his dad, but realised I wasn’t because I don’t have scar at my eye.”

Amy mused sitting at his side, “And Kate was talking about Artron radiation which would mean time travel.”

“We’re not calling the Doctor,” Rory told her, “Not yet at least. I don’t want him to scare Jonas.”

Amy hugged him, “It’s been a long day. Why don’t we both get some sleep? Since we’re going to have a houseguest for a while, we should get him some more clothes and some toys.”

Rory kissed her, “I love you.”

“Good,” Amy grinned cheekily.

 Amy heard a noise in the bedroom, pulling her out her sleep. Opening her eyes, she could see the bedroom door open and a small shadow dragging a quilt to Rory’s side. She leaned up to see Jonas had put a pillow on the ground next to the bed. It made Amy melt to see the boy wanted comfort and this appeared to be the one way he thought he’d be able to feel safe.

“Jonas,” Amy called quietly.

The boy jumped, looking like a deer in the headlights. Amy slid out of bed and motioned him over.

“Come on,” she told him, “You can sleep beside us if you want.”

Jonas bit his lip before he ran over to her, Amy let him crawl in the middle of the bed before sliding in beside him. Jonas curled close to Rory but turned to look up at Amy.

Amy stroked his hair, “Go to sleep, Jonas. You’re safe here. I promise.”

The little boy’s eyes closed, and Amy watched him until she was sure he was out. Closing her eyes, Amy fell asleep herself.

                                 *********************************************

 Rory stretched as he woke, finding himself alone in the bed. He’d woken briefly earlier to find Jonas was sleeping attached to his arm, which was slightly numb. Easing his arm away, Rory had let the little boy sleep against his chest and fell asleep again himself.

Heading downstairs he poked his head into the living room, finding Amy and Jonas sitting eating cereal, watching cartoons.

They were both laughing, with Jonas sitting quite close to Amy and was taking a spoonful every-time she did. Rory guessed the boy to be about five or six. They hadn’t asked him too much about himself because Rory didn’t want to overwhelm Jonas with questions until he was comfortable being with them, but they would have to.

Although Kate had given them some basics for Jonas, they needed to get him some more clothes as well as some books and games. He had already shown himself to be a smart kid and Rory wanted to find his family but there was also a part of him that didn’t.

He wanted kids with Amy, had almost had that dream come true before it was destroyed and twisted into something he didn’t recognise. He loved River, of course he did, but he didn’t know or understand her. River was a mate, while Melody had been his daughter and he sometimes felt there was nothing left of her in River.

Here was a little boy who needed a family and, if they couldn’t find his real one, Rory would happily become that for him.

 “Alright,” Amy took charge as they entered the large shopping centre, “Divide and conquer.”

Rory and Jonas swapped confused looks, but Amy ignored them and continued, “I will pick up clothes and basics for Jonas,” she told them, “While you two get books and some toys or games. Then we meet for lunch in an hour. How does that sound?”

Rory glanced at the boy standing by his side, “What do you think?”

Jonas nodded.

“We’ll see you soon,” Rory smiled to his wife.

Amy kissed him before she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jonas’ hair too, “Keep him out of trouble.”

Rory took Jonas’ hand as they started towards the toy store, it was early enough so there were not many people around them.

“You don’t have to worry,” Rory said, “Amy has good taste in clothes. Much better than me.”

Jonas smiled again and Rory smiled too, he was taking every smile as a victory from the little boy.

They found the large toy shop and Rory watched Jonas stare at all the things on offer before him. Turning to Jonas, Rory asked, “What do you want to look at first?” Jonas shrugged.

“How about we look to see what there is?” Rory suggested, “You can tell me what you like.” He crouched down to look at Jonas, “I want you to get things you’ll enjoy and not worry about anything else, okay?”

“Okay.”

Nodding Rory led the little boy inside. They wandered through all the toys, Rory keeping an eye on Jonas to see what sparked his interest. Walking along a section with robotic kits, Rory spotted Jonas stretch to look closer.

“These are really interesting,” Rory noted, picking up one of the boxes, “Look, this set makes three different things.”

Jonas frowned, “It’s a bit easy.”

“Is it?” Rory asked surprised, checking the box it was aimed at ages 8+, “What one do you think looks good then?”

Jonas bit his lip as he mused scanning the shelves, “That one,” he pointed to a larger box beside Rory’s head. It was for teenagers, but Rory was beginning to have some suspicions about the boy before him.

Picking it up he smiled, “This looks like I might learn a few things. Okay, we’ll take this.”

Jonas dipped his head, but his grin was unmistakable. Rory was happy that he’d found something the little boy seemed interested in. He found a few more sets along with Lego (something he’d always loved), before they headed to find books. Heading through the soft toy aisle, Rory felt Jonas slow as they passed a shelf that had a few toys for sale. He stopped, pretending to tie his lace, and watched the little boy gravitate towards a toy dog with brown fur and a blue bow around its neck. He quickly looked away when Jonas turned to him, before sneaking a look back and smiled to see Jonas holding the toy.

“Do you like that?” Rory asked softly, making the boy jump but he didn’t let it go.

Jonas nodded, “It looks like the one my daddy gave me when I was a baby.” Tears suddenly welled in the boy’s eyes, “I miss my daddy.”

Rory gathered Jonas to him letting him cry, “I know. And I will do everything I can to get you back to him. I promise.”

“I’m sorry,” Jonas whispered not moving from Rory’ shoulder.

Rory rocked him, “Don’t be sorry for missing your daddy, ever.”

After a few minutes Jonas calmed down and looked down at the toy he was holding.

“Why don’t we add that to the basket,” Rory suggested, “Then quickly look at the books before we meet Amy for lunch?”

“Okay,” Jonas said quietly.

Rory offered his hand to Jonas again, the little boy took it and followed on to the book section.

 Amy struggled slightly to open the front door with the bags she was carrying but since Rory had just as many, as well as Jonas attached to him, she had no choice. Finally she managed and they piled in.

“I will take all these clothes upstairs and put them away,” Amy told them, “Why don’t you two sort out what toys Jonas wants to play with just now and what we’ll put upstairs?”

Rory took Jonas into the living room while Amy headed upstairs. She pulled out the multiple pairs of trouser, t-shirts, jumpers, underwear and pyjamas she’d bought for the boy and put them all in the chest of drawers. She then pulled out the kid’s duvet set she’d bought and changed the quilt and pillows so it made it more like a room for a little boy. She knew it was possibly not the best idea for them to get too used to having Jonas in their lives but Amy wanted to make sure that while he was with them he was comfortable so that when he did leave, he thought of them with fondness.

When they’d met for lunch Amy could see Jonas had been crying but didn’t mention anything and instead got him chatting about the best toppings for ice cream. While Rory took the boy to the toilets, Amy looked at the toys and books they’d picked up, wondering if Rory realised they were for a much older child except for the soft toy.

Heading downstairs she saw Jonas holding the toy dog, cuddling close to Rory who was reading James and The Giant Peach. It was such a sweet scene, and Amy’s eyes filled with tears. Hurriedly she left so neither saw her cry about the child they’d lost. A child who was now one of her best friends. She knew that they shouldn’t get too attached to Jonas but to be honest it was far too late. Amy herself cared for the boy but Rory adored him. They’d bonded and Amy dreaded how Rory would cope when they found his parents.

Shaking herself, Amy started to check the fridge because they would have to make dinner at a proper time since they had a child to look after.

“What are you doing?” Rory asked appearing in the kitchen.

She looked up, “Where’s Jonas?”

“He’s looking at one of the smaller kits we got,” Rory told her.

“You do know they’re not exactly for his age,” Amy asked, “Don’t you?”

Rory chuckled, “The ones for his age were too easy. I’ve a feeling he’s smarter than a normal kid his age.”

“Well he may be smarter but I’m guessing he’s just as hungry,” Amy smiled, “And we don’t have much in.”

“I’ll head to the shop…” he started, confused when Amy pressed her finger to his lips.

“I’ll go,” Amy told him, “Jonas is more comfortable being around you.”

Rory nodded, “Let me write you a list for what I’ll need.”

Kissing him, Amy smiled, “I knew it was a good idea to marry someone who could cook.”

“If we relied on you, we’d eat toast every day,” Rory laughed.

Leaving him to write his list Amy went to check on Jonas. The little boy was sitting staring into space holding onto his toy dog.

“Jonas,” Amy let him know she was there, “I am going to the shops to get some things for dinner. I wanted to check what you like to eat.”

Jonas shrugged.

“Hey,” she brushed his hair back, “If you don’t like something it’s alright to tell us. And if you like something that’s good too. So, do you like broccoli?” Jonas made a face and Amy laughed, “Me neither.” She went through a small list working out his preferences before kissing the top of his head, “I’ll see you soon.”

                                 *********************************************

 Jonas was sitting after dinner at the small table they’d found working on some of the robotics kits Rory had bought for him. To their surprise it looked like Jonas was extremely smart and needed minimal supervision even when working with the more advanced things.

He’d been with them a full week and had settled in with them. Although he had been a little uncomfortable when Rory had to go to work at first, Amy found her own way to bond with the boy. The one concession they saw to the fact he wasn’t completely at ease was that the toy dog, named inexplicably Gideon, was kept constantly by his side.

A knock at the door made Jonas jump and Rory moved to his side while Amy went to answer.

“Rory, its Kate,” Amy called.

Rory rubbed the little boy’s back, “Are you okay to stay here while Amy and I talk to Kate?”

Nervously the boy nodded, as he lifted Gideon into his arms.

“Okay,” Rory murmured, “We won’t be long and we will be just outside.”

Hugging the boy quickly Rory left the room to find Kate looking grim.

“Tell us,” Rory said.

“I’m sorry this took so long,” Kate apologised, “But I wanted to ensure I could provide you with as much information as possible.

Amy slipped her hand into Rory’s as they waited.

“Jonas DNA matched yours Rory but as a distant relation of some kind,” Kate explained, “And we also found out details about his father.”

“Which is?” Amy asked.

“His name was Rip Hunter,” Kate explained, “He was the founder and director of a time travel agency based in the US until last year when it disappeared.”

“What happened to him?” Rory demanded, annoyed this man left his son.

Kate took a long breath, “I finally managed to track down a woman who worked for the agency. She confirmed Rip Hunter died almost a year ago.”

“No.”

They all turned to find Jonas standing there, tears streaking down his cheeks.

“No, no, no, no, no!!!!!” he screamed as he threw the book he was holding at the wall before turning and upending all the containers holding the pieces of his kits all over the floor.

Rory moved forward and caught Jonas, pulling the boy up into his arm rocking him as Jonas fought and sobbed. Amy handed him the toy dog and Rory nodded before taking Jonas upstairs.

 Amy felt her heart break for the little boy as Rory took Jonas to calm him down. Turning she saw Kate wipe her eyes.

“There’s one thing more,” Kate said softly, “From what I was told, Mr Hunter believed Jonas was dead. Otherwise he would have been searching for him.”

Amy sighed, “I suppose that’s something.”

“We will need to look into what happens now,” Kate continued, “Jonas is now…”

“He stays with us,” Amy stated, “You said he’s related to Rory then that makes us family and you have the ability to make sure nothing is looked into.”

Kate frowned, “Amy, are you sure? Do you not want to talk to Rory first?”

“We talked about it earlier this week,” Amy replied, “Can you arrange everything for us?”

Nodding Kate rested her hand on Amy’s shoulder, “I will call tomorrow and let you know what you need to do.”

“Thank you,” Amy said as she saw Kate out.

Closing the door, Amy took several deep breaths before she headed upstairs. Rory had brought Jonas into their room and lay down with him. Jonas was silent now, cuddling his dog close as tears streaked down him cheeks. Sliding off her shoes, Amy lay on the other side of the little boy to let him know he wasn’t alone. Rory reached out and took Amy’s hand before resting their joined hands on Jonas’ back.

“Jonas,” Rory said softly, “I know you’re really sad right now, but I promise that you are not alone. Amy and I are here for you.”

Jonas looked up at him, “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Amy stroked his hair, “That we want you to live with us from now on. I know we can’t replace your parents, but Kate told us Rory is part of your family, which is why he looks like your dad.”

“I can stay here with you?” hope filled Jonas voice.

Rory nodded, “Yes. You can stay here with us,”

Pulling his dog tighter, Jonas shuffled closer to Rory who pulled Amy to them and they hugged the little boy until he fell asleep.

[starfast]

Happy International Women’s Day

In honour of today being International Women’s Day, I thought I’d share some of my favourite books with awesome female leads. There’s obviously tons of books out there that fit that criteria, but here are 6 of my more underrated favourites presented in no particular order: 

Onyx and Ivory by Mindee Arnett

Genre: YA Fantasy

Summary: Kate Brighton has been living as an outcast ever since her father tried to assassinate the king. She works for the Relay- the courier system where only the most skilled riders survive. Fortunately, Kate has the ability to manipulate the minds of animals, which helps her stay alive. Unfortunately, this type of magic is forbidden and if she’s caught she could be exiled or killed. It’s also this magic that causes her to come across the aftermath of a deadly dragon attack, the sole survivor of which is Prince Corwin, Kate’s first love. The two will have to put the past behind them, because unusual dragon attack is just the beginning. 

Other highlights: This book had all the potential to be a very generic read but somehow managed to not be. Kate is not just a badass, but also has a more vulnerable side to her which makes her more relatable. This book also features an actually healthy romance and did I mention that the girl saves the boy in this one?

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Genre: YA Historical Fiction (but with a tiny bit of fantasy)

Summary: Felicity Montague just really wants to be a doctor, but since it’s the 1700′s it’s almost impossible for her to do so. However, when she learns that her childhood friend is getting married to one of her idols, Felicity uses it as an opportunity to try and make her dreams come true. She travels down to Germany with Sim, a mysterious girl who agrees to pay for Felicity’s way. But Sim has an agenda of her own, and once it’s uncovered Felicity becomes part of dangerous quest that will take her from Germany all the way down to Algeria. 

Other highlights: This is technically a sequel to the Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue (which I also recommend). Just like it’s predecessor, The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy also has a small but diverse cast (Sim is Muslim, and while it’s never outright stated in the book the author has confirmed that Felicity is asexual. Her brother and his boyfriend also make an appearance, the latter of which is biracial). This story also handles the “not like most girls” trope in the best way possible. 

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

Genre: YA Sci-fi

Summary: Spensa dreams of becoming a pilot, but because her father was labelled a coward, everyone is working against her. Even when she does make it into flight school, she has to work twice as hard because the people in charge don’t want her to end up like her father. But when Spensa comes across an ancient, sentient ship called M-Bot she convinces it to to help her defend her planet. 

Other highlights: If you like a book with lots of action then I’d highly recommend this one! At 513 pages, it’s more on the longer side but it always feels like something is happening. The fight scenes in this book are amazing, and there’s some really cool world building as well. And honestly, Spensa is an awesome protagonist. 

Sadie by Courtney Summers

Genre: YA Mystery/Thriller

Trigger Warnings: Abuse, pedophilia, murder, rape (let me know if I missed any)

Summary: After the death of her younger sister, Sadie sets out to find the man who killed her. She follows a trail of clues, hoping that it will lead to her sister’s murderer so that she can find justice. Meanwhile, West McCray, a radio personality hears about Sadie’s story. He starts a podcast that details his own journey to see if he can find out what happened to Sadie, who is now a missing person. 

Other highlights: This book will make you so emotional! The bond between Sadie and her sister felt so real, and was so well written. Sadie also has a stutter, and while I can’t say whether it was accurately written or not I haven’t seen any complaints about it yet. It does hit on some pretty heavy topics though, but I felt like it was handled well. 

The Girl Who Could Move Sh*t With Her Mind by Jackson Ford

Genre: Adult Sci-fi/ Mystery

Summary: Tegan Frost has the ability to move shit with her mind. As far as she knows, she’s the only one with this ability. So when a man winds up dead, murdered in a way that could only have been done by someone with telekinetic abilities all the suspicions fall on Tegan. Tegan knows she’s innocent, but she only has 24 hours to prove it. 

Other Highlights: First of all, yes, that is the real title. And this book is kind of exactly what you would expect with a title like that. Tegan is the sassy and sarcastic protagonist that I’ve been waiting for. Even though she does have that edge she’s not a one dimensional character (she kind of reminds me of Deadpool or like a better version of Maximum Ride in that sense). It’s honestly a super fun read, and also criminally underrated. 

Wolf by Wolf by Ryan Graudin

Genre: YA Alternate History/ Adventure

Summary: Set in an alternate history where the Germans won WW2 Yael is a former concentration camp victim, who as the result of some of the Nazi’s experiments can alter her appearance. Yael uses this ability to enter the Axis Tour; an annual motorcycle race that starts in Berlin and ends in Tokyo. Disguised as the previous year’s winner, Yael hopes to win the race so that she can win the private audience with Adolph Hitler and kill him. 

Other Highlights: I mean the plot of this one is kind of the main selling point. It may sound a little bit out there but it is honestly one of the most unique books I’ve ever read. Ryan Graudin didn’t write this just so people can say that originality is dead. 

[norahastuff]

I don’t know that this a particularly popular opinion, but I’ve always really felt for Madison. She breaks my heart. From the beginning it’s been clear how much she’s been struggling her whole life and how alone she is. She doesn’t have many friends other than Kate, and they didn’t exactly start their friendship in a good place. Kate didn’t take Madison’s issues seriously and was pretty contemptuous towards her at the beginning. And yet still the moment Madison saw an opportunity to be there for Kate, even just to be happy for her, she jumped right in.

Actually another episode that comes to mind that’s very relevant to the themes of the season 4 finale, is last season’s episode “The Waiting Room” where everyone is waiting in the hospital after Kate prematurely goes into labour. Madison is there, all she wants is to be there for Kate...but she doesn’t quite fit in. She can be awkward and doesn’t always say the right thing  but by god does she try. She’s always trying so hard to do her best and she cares so much. Kevin was truly struggling at that point. He was stressed about Kate, was finding it tough to deal with the Nicky of it all and as we later find out, he had started drinking again. It wasn’t about her, but he lashed out at Madison all the same.

Kevin: I'm sorry, what exactly are you doing here?

Madison: Oh, I, um... No, it's, uh, it's weird that I'm here. This is a... family thing. Um, I'll go. Uh... can someone text me if you, um... if you hear of anything? I'll just, um... I'll just leave the doughnuts.

Watching her walk away hurt but not as much as finding out that she never actually left. She stayed because she needed to do everything she could for Kate. 

Madison’s instinct is always to believe that nobody wants her around. It seems like she’s always apologising for her existence, for simply taking up space in other people’s lives. She tries to do things for other people so they’ll let her stick around, but she doesn’t feel like she deserves the same in return. I mean she doesn’t tell Kevin she’s pregnant because he comes from “a long line of great love stories, and this...this would not be what he wants. There’s no way...there’s no way he’d want this.” Oh Madison...

When she finally works up the nerve to talk the Kevin, he doesn’t let her speak and tries to brush her off saying they have nothing to talk about until she tells him that she’s pregnant. This is when Caitlin Thompson does some truly phenomenal work showing us how alone and scared Madison is, but somehow she’s still determined and resolute.

She apologises to Kevin. “I’m sorry.” Like she’s done something wrong, because in her mind she’s inconvenienced him.

“You don’t know my medical history but this is kind of a miracle for me. But I need you to know, I will not ask anything of you. Emotionally, financially, all of it. You can still find the great love story you deserve.”

Oh Madison...

Then we come to Randall and Kevin. Jesus that was brutal. I mean we were expecting it but it was still brutal. None of this is coming out of nowhere. Kevin and Randall have a lot of issues between them pretty much throughout their whole life. They’ve felt this resentment towards the other. And while that’s started to change and they’ve grown closer over the past four seasons, there was still a lot that remained unaddressed between them. Take the aforementioned waiting room episode. Under a high stress situation the cracks start to show between them and it’s always the same issues. 

Kevin calling out Randall for always trying to monopolise Rebecca. 

Randall thinking Kevin is a mess. 

Kevin resenting Randall for thinking he’s the “moral center of the family” as well as Randall’s need to always be the hero. 

Randall resenting Kevin for what he sees as things coming easy for him and for always “coming out on top.”

And round and round we go. It’s always been the same things and one of these days they were going to stop circling around each other and finally address these things...I guess they finally did. 

While there were some true feelings they’ve long been harbouring addressed in that fight - see all of the above, as well as Randall resenting Kevin for leaving after Jack died and Kevin resenting Randall for playing the martyr and staying, one thing I will say, the end of this episode did promise hope after all, was that the things Randall and Kevin said to each other, the worst things in the heat of the moment - they weren’t true. 

Jack didn’t die ashamed of Kevin, he was never ashamed of him, and Randall knows that. Similarly Kevin does not believe the worst thing to ever happen to him was their parents choosing to adopt Randall. They both just know each other extremely well at this point. They know exactly what the other’s deepest fear is and chose to weaponise it in this moment for maximum impact. Look at Kevin’s face after Randall walks away and tell me that he believes what he just said. 

It’s going to hurt for a while, but they’re going to find their way back to each other and be the better for it in the long run. 

But in the meantime, Randall truly has a lot of work to do. He still hasn’t admitted that what he did with Rebecca was wrong, and to be honest I still don’t think he understands that it was, even though everybody else, Beth included, has made it clear that he was so very wrong. I hope Dr Leigh (and Pamela Adlon because she’s fantastic) will clear her schedule because Randall really needs to address his issues. 

Random thoughts

- Man do I love Nicky. I’d missed him...and apparently he’s wearing a wedding band in the future? Interesting...

- Kate and Toby have come so far this past season and it was really beautiful to see their progress in this episode. 

- Beth continues to remain the best. For always. I might actually be in love with her.

- The doctor and Madison’s conversation

Doctor: Madison this is your 3rd appointment alone. Is there anyone you can...?

Madison: I haven’t told anyone. I’m not close with my family and I only have one good friend and I can’t tell her. I told a barista at starbucks...he was not invested. 

Oh Madison! Can we keep her?

[ms-rampage]

WIP-in a day

Tagged by @redangrypears

Tagging: @mc-flurrie @athenalillystar @queenofhollandvalley @mrsladydiana @hoesephseed @gamer-purgatory @oorah22 @thewanderer-000 @strafethesesinners

I enjoy writing alternate universes/timelines with my OCs and other canon characters.

**************

Working at a prison wasn’t always an easy job, maybe not for Katella Winchester because she’s very well liked throughout the prison and with its inmates. 

Because she was always very sweet, and humble with them, and they loved her for it.

She was working at the Montana State Penitentiary in the Psych Ward where she was loved throughout the prison before she was transferred to the Arizona State Prison in Buckeye. Her home state, and she was relieved to be back home, and only an hour drive away from Phoenix, her hometown. 

After a few weeks of working at the prison, she was given a list of patients since most of the Doctors were given a roster to do their rounds, and check on the inmates.

They got transfers of new inmates that day, and Kate along with her fellow colleagues got their updated roster list.

She walks in through the employee entrance being greeted by the two guards. They scan her ID card, and buzz her in. Going over their usual protocol.

She walks down the hallway to the administration office to sign in on the sign in sheet, and her boss, Warden Cromwell approaches her.

“Doctor Winchester?” he calls her.

“Yes Warden?” she responds, turning to face him.

He hands her a beige paper folder, “Your updated roster. Since we're getting more inmates in this morning”. 

She takes the folder from his hand, “Thank you” she responds. 

“I noticed your roster is a lot bigger than the other Psychologists” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Kate lets out a short laugh, “Yeah I noticed that too. Probably because the inmates really like me, and how I do my sessions”.

“Well whatever it is, keep up the good work, and maybe these people won’t go back to their old lives if they get released”.

He’s about to turn around, and leave when Kate stops him.

“Warden?!” she softly exclaims.

He turns to face her, “Yes?”.

“Would it be okay if I have next Friday off? It’s my daughter’s birthday” she says.

“If you can find someone to cover your shift then it's fine with me” he responds. 

He turns around and walks down the hallway towards his office. 

A few hours go by, and Kate is working with her next patient. A new inmate who was just transferred from Montana State Penitentiary.

She walks into the room where she condones her sessions.

A metal table that is almost 4 feet in width, to give a safe distance between her and the inmate. 

Her sessions are always monitored for her safety, but no audio is heard from the guards point of view. 

She enters the room, and takes a seat at the table, waiting for her next patient.

She checks her roster, her 10:30am-11:30am session with a new inmate. 

Flipping through the pages of her folder to check her new patient, and she feels her heart drop when she sees the name.

“What?!” she whispers, feeling like she’s gonna vomit, “No, no this can’t be happening”.

John Seed is the name. An old lover to Kate. They had broken things off a few years back when she was living in Hope County, Montana. 

Him, his brothers Joseph, Jacob and sister Faith ran a cult called The Project at Eden’s Gate. 

To make all this short and less painful, they killed and kidnapped people into joining their cult.

Kate dated John for 7-9 months when she lived in Hope County, then she moved back to Jackson, Wyoming, and when her older sister moved to Hope County, Kate moved back to Montana, where she had another encounter with John, and it wasn’t as good as it was the first time.

A few weeks before him, and his family were arrested. 

They had sex for the last time, and unknown to her at the time. John had put a hole in the condom he used, and impregnated her.

So her daughter Daenerys is the spawn of John Seed, and her 1st birthday is next week.

The last thing she wanted to see was that psychopath, but she’s a psychologist and it’s her job to see those types of people.

She reads through his file. 

Name: John Seed

Age: 34

DOB: 07/27/1986

Place of Birth: Rome, Georgia

Height: 5’10

Weight: 165

Transfer from Montana State Penitentiary.

She gets thrown off when the loud buzzer goes off, the red light, and the metal door on the opposite side of the room opens loudly.

John steps in, wearing an orange prisoner jumpsuit, his hands cuffed together with a guard behind him.

He looks over, and his eyes light up when he sees Kate. He never not once looked away from Kate’s eyes. Like they were locked together.

She can feel her heart pounding against her chest, her palms turning sweaty. Shaking her leg in nervousness. Her anxiety through the roof. The guard releases one of John’s hands from the cuffs, and locks him to the table. 

“I’ll let you take it from here Doctor” he says to Kate.

She nods her head in response, a slight smile and the guard leaves. Leaving the two former lovers together. She looks down at the file, trying to figure out what to say to him that is relatable to her job.

“I never thought I’d see you again Katella” he purrs, leaning over the table towards her.

She clears her throat, “I could say the same about you”.

He leans back in his seat, and chuckles, “Doctor huh?”.

She nods her head, “Yep, okay so, Mr. Seed I’m gonna ask you some questions, and I want you to answer them as honestly as possible. Okay?”.

“John” he says, “You can call me John. We both know who we are. I mean I took your virginity and made it mine”.

Ignoring his last comment, “Okay John, tell me how are you feeling today?. Any negative thoughts?” she asks, going through her usual route with the other inmates. 

“I’m doing great now that I’m here with you” he flirts, "Negative thoughts? Maybe about the lustful things we did in the past". 

Trying her best to stay professional, and not be rude. 

“That’s great to hear. How are you adjusting to your surroundings?” she asks.  Nervousness, and shakiness in her voice.

He cocks his eyebrows at her, and leans forward.

“Let me ask you a question. Is this what they’re paying you for? Sit around and ask questions?”. 

She takes a deep breath, and says slightly aggressively “Just answer the question”.

He raises his eyebrows, and smirks at her, “Feisty huh?. I like that”.

He places his hands on the table, “I’m adjusting greatly. I have my own cell. A comfortable bed, I get 3 meals a day, and I get to see you for an hour everyday”.

Kate gets goosebumps throughout her body, her stomach in knots and she feels like she’s gonna vomit.

She looks down at her questions in her folder, “How do you feel about being here? What could you have done to prevent yourself from ending up here?”.

John laughs softly at her questions, “Katie, darlin, my love. You should know why I’m here. You were there when they took me away from my brothers and sister. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done to keep me out of here”.

Kate sighs, scratches her eyebrow. Looking down at her folder.

“How do I feel about being here?. Hmm? Let me think” he says with his finger to his chin, scratching his beard, “I hate it here. That’s how I feel about it, but the thought of me seeing you everyday makes me love it here”.

Kate is about to ask her next question when John gives her a question of his own.

“How’s the little one?”. His eyes staring intensely at her, almost piercing through her. If looks could kill she'd be dead.

She stops what she’s doing, and looks at him in confusion.

“What?!” she asks, acting like she has no idea what he’s talking about. 

John lets out an exaggerated sigh, “If I can remember. I knocked you up before I was taken away. So how's our little boy/girl?”. 

Stammering over her words, “Oh I-I uh I lost it, at 3 in half months” she lies, her eyes wandering away from his gaze.

Kate was always a really good liar, but she was never able to lie to John for some reason. 

“Bullshit” he snarled at her, “You claimed to be a good liar, but you were never able to pull it off with me sweetheart. So let me ask again, how is our child?”.

She feels herself go pale, her hands go numb and sweaty at the same time. Scratching the back on her neck.

“That must be a lawyer thing” she chuckles, "Detecting lies".

John stares at her with those intense piercing blue eyes. Those same eyes that their daughter had inherit from him.

“Daughter” she mumbles, looking down at her hands.

‘What was that darlin?” he teases, leaning closer towards her.

“We have a daughter, her name is Daenerys, and she turns a year old next Friday” she says. 

He leans back in chair, staring at Kate, and asks “Who does she look like?”. 

A little off that, that's his first question regarding their daughter, “Like me, but she has your eyes” she responds. A slight smile appears on his face. 

“I notice you don’t have a ring on” he says, “Single mother?”.

Kate nods her head in shame, she wasn’t able to keep a relationship because of her job, and with her daughter, they were both her number 1 priorities. She was okay with being a single mom. Her best friend Morgan helped her out, watching over her when she was at work. Sometimes her mom, or her sister Paige, Sarah, Alissa or any of her friends watched over Daenerys.

On her days off she spends time with her daughter, sleeping in and catching up on her tv shows.

He sighs loudly, catching her off guard. “We would’ve been perfect parents. The best parents, our little girl would be spoiled rotten. Maybe along the way I could fuck our next child into you. I do miss feeling that tight little pussy of yours, and you begging me to fuck you into the mattress. Making you sore, and unable to walk properly”. 

Kate clears her throat, feeling a bit uncomfortable, and a bit turned on at the same time. She hates herself for it, she hates herself in general.

She hesitantly asks her next question, “How would you better yourself for those you care about?”.

John raises his eyebrows at her question, and scoffs “Really?. That’s your question?. Okay” he shrugs. Going along with her "little game".

“I would better myself by being myself. But since you asked for those I care about. I would better myself by being a less shittier person, and maybe if I were to meet our little girl. Then maybe I will better myself for her, and maybe for you." He pauses for a moment, and Kate is about to continue with her session asking more questions, and John interrupts her.

"Just to keep in mind, I think I’ll touch myself tonight, thinking about you. I wasn’t planning on it. Imagining me destroying that pretty little tight pussy of yours, making you scream and beg for me”. 

Kate sighs in annoyance, she knows this session is gonna be a long hour of John flirting with her, telling her all the things he would do to her. 

Finally an hour later, 11:30. John's session is complete for the day. 

A buzzer goes off, followed by the red light on the wall going off, and the locks on the metal door make their loud clanking sounds informing them that they’re being unlocked. 

John looks Kate in the eyes and says, “If there were a prison riot, and all inmates ransack the joint. Keep in mind I’ll be coming after you, and I won't stop until I find you, and do God knows what to you. I know how you like it rough, and hard".

He winks at her, before getting taken back to his cell by the guard. Leaving Kate in the room by herself.