#but IDK i just felt the imagery from him being put into the girl's room to be very transgender imo

[the-acid-pear]

Beau Issac Wasserman, in my eyes, has a lot of tboy swag. How so? Well, that's a secret 🥰 <- too stressed to write a coherent post

[wannab-urs]

Title: Harsher Than the Bark

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Javi makes you feel things you’ve never felt before, will never feel with anyone else, but he can’t – or won’t – love you. 

Tags: smoking, probably shit spanish, smut, angst, fingering, squirting, unprotected PiV, probably unrealistic amount of orgasms (like 4 idk it’s kinda vague, choking/breath play, Javi has dom vibes but it’s not like BDSM he’s just bossy, one “good girl,” begging, religious imagery because Javi makes you see god, biting, that one position from that one scene – you fucking know the one, excessive cursing because it’s me and I refuse to change, Javi is a cuddler, emotionally unavailable!Javi, references to past arguments/past hookups because this has been an ongoing thing and I love to start in the middle of a story. Based on 505 by Arctic Monkeys, (being annoying and posting at 5:05 am) No beta we die like Oberyn WC: 1.4k

A/N: I kind of wrote this in a fever dream, I literally don't even know if it's any good. It's sort of a planned three parter, but I'm not putting pressure on myself to finish it, so each part can stand completely alone. If I write all three, it'll be called In the A.M. as in In the Morning but also because they're all based on Arctic Monkeys songs. Hope you like it &lt;3

Series Masterlist | Javier Peña Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark

Javier Peña is probably the best fuck you’ve ever had in your life. Actually, scratch that. He’s definitely the best fuck you’ve ever had in your life. He makes you feel things you’ve never felt before. Coming three times in one night with him is the absolute bare minimum. He loves it when you scream for him. Does everything in his power to get you a noise complaint from your neighbors. 

And God is he gorgeous. Long and lean with strong arms, broad shoulders, a tiny waist, a perky ass. His nose looks like it was carved off a greek statue and placed on his face. He’s got these big sad brown eyes, full lips framed by a neatly trimmed mustache, and a jawline that could cut glass. You’re probably in love with him. 

You put out your cigarette when you hear the door open, lay back in the bed and stare at the ceiling. It’s five in the morning, but you never turn him away. No matter what time. 

“Shouldn’t leave the door unlocked, hermosa,” Javi’s deep drawl drifts across the room to you. 

“Knew you were coming. Didn’t wanna have to get up.” 

Javi drops his shirt on the floor and crawls up the bed, draping himself over you and pressing a kiss to your lips. “No es seguro, cariño. Anyone could walk in.” (It’s not safe, baby).

“Lo que sea, Javi.” (Whatever, Javi). You roll your eyes at him. “It’s locked now, no?” 

Javi drags his lips along your jaw, nips at your throat, drags a finger through your folds. “Wet already, baby? Were you thinking of me?” 

You were, but you kind of hate him for being right. “Fuck you, Jav–” his name drags out into a moan as he stuffs two thick fingers inside you. He pumps his fingers in and out a couple times before curling them up into the spongy spot inside you. You throw your head back in pleasure, back arching and hips thrusting so that you’re practically riding his fingers. 

He wraps the fingers of his free hand carefully around your throat. “Mírame.” (Look at me). You force your eyes open and he’s so close you could count the individual hairs in his mustache. You look into his eyes with so much adoration, so much love, he has to look away. He squeezes your throat tighter and you close your eyes again as your cunt tightens on his fingers. 

He rubs circles on your clit in time with the thrust of his fingers, feeling you wind tighter and tighter around him. His hand on your throat isn’t blocking air, but you still can’t catch your breath. When your body is so tense it feels like you’ll shatter into a million pieces, he releases the hand on your throat. You gasp in a big breath and fall apart in his hands. He works you through it with firm, slow strokes. 

Just as you feel yourself start to come down, he picks up the pace again. He places the hand that was on your throat on your pelvis, holding you down on the mattress and rubs his thumb in quick, hard circles on your clit. He pumps his fingers into you hard and fast. 

“Come for me, hermosa. Come all over my hand.” 

Your vision whites out and you let out a near agonized scream as you clench around his fingers and gush all over him. Javi pulls his fingers out of you and slips them into your mouth. You suck the taste of yourself off his fingers. 

“Good girl,” he growls in your ear. He stands up, leaving you panting on the bed, and strips his jeans off. He strokes himself as he gets back on the bed, hand still slick with your cum. He pulls your thighs over his and you wrap your legs around him. He drags his cock through your folds and watches you shudder. 

“You’re soaked… You want me to fuck you?” The bastard is teasing you. You whine his name. “Las palabras, cariño.” (Words, baby). 

“Need you, Javi. Please. I need you so bad,” you’re desperate, aching for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock one more time before lining up with your entrance and pushing in. You let out an absolutely wrecked moan, voice breaking as he bottoms out. 

He leans forward, planting his hands on either side of your head and pulls out before plunging back down inside you. He has your hips tilted almost vertically, driving you down into the mattress with every thrust. You dig your nails into the meat of his shoulders and drag them down his back, making him groan into your neck. 

Fucking Javi is always a religious experience. You find salvation and damnation at once in his arms and you swear you see God himself when you come on his cock. 

Javi doesn’t slow down despite the way you clench around him. He often works out his frustrations in your body, tries to bury them and himself in you. 

He pulls out and flips you over by your hips, sheathing himself inside you the second you’re on your knees in front of him. He fists one hand in your hair and pulls your back to his chest, wrapping the other hand around your breast. 

You lay your head on his shoulder and let the pleasure wash over you, lose yourself in it completely. You only exist in this moment, the pleasure and pain melding to form something divine inside you. He bites down on your neck and you come on his cock again, and you think you scream. You aren’t quite sure. 

Javi groans as he slams into you one, two, three more times and collapses forward onto the bed, trapping you under him. He stays inside you for a few more moments, nuzzling your neck. His lips catch your ear lobe as he pulls himself out of you and falls to the bed beside you. He wraps his arms around you, curling his body around yours, and holds you close. 

You lie in silence for a long time, just listening to each other breathe. This has become routine. Javi has a bad day at work and takes it out on your body in this bed. He never talks about it, about why he needs such a frenzied release, but you can guess. 

Sometimes, though, he’ll talk about growing up in Laredo or about a nice dinner he had with Connie and Steve or about an op that went well. Sometimes he lets you see beneath his hardened exterior. 

The truth is that you’re definitely in love with him. But Javi won’t ever be with you, not in the way you want. Javi won’t commit to being with you because this, what you just did, is all he thinks he deserves and all he knows how to do. He loves making you feel good, takes pride in making you come over and over and over. He loves making you moan and whine and scream for him. He loves it when you tell him how good he feels, how perfect he is, how pretty his cock is. He just doesn’t love you.

He always curls up with you, snuggles you close, clings to you. But if you bring up wanting something more, something defined and committed, he fucking runs. He can give you himself physically, but he can’t let you near his heart because it is rotten and caving in and no good. And you? You are good. He can’t touch you with that. The dark and broken part of himself. He can’t infect your good with his bad.

You know this and yet… 

A tear slips from your lashes, trailing down your cheek and falling onto the arm tucked under your cheek. 

“Cariño, ¿por qué lloras? (Baby, why are you crying?) He sounds… fucking anguished. “¿Te lastimé?” (Did I hurt you?)

“It’s nothing, Jav.” 

Javi sits up, grabs your face in his hands and makes you look at him. “It’s something. Dime.” (Tell me). 

“If I tell you, you’ll just fucking leave again, Javi. I can’t do this right now. Just hold me, please? Be here when I wake up?” 

Javi searches your eyes for a moment. You aren’t sure what he sees there. Heartbreak? Resignation? Desperation? Whatever it is convinces him. 

“Sure, yeah. I can do that.” 

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[ranposlittle]

sweetie it’s me again 🥺🥺🥺please nsfw scenario with mori and his gf having a daddy kink and she acts all girly and childish 🥺🥺🥺👉🏻👈🏻

!! NSFW 18+ ONLY !!

((TW: daddy kink; exhibitionism))

A/N: Wooh, boy~ idk if i went overboard but here’s another lengthy scenario ahah although, you totally deserve this ♥️ I wanted to put it under a “Keep Reading” break but it doesn’t work on mobile so im sorryyyyy;;; Also, I made this with the simplest definition of the daddy kink cos idk if you’ll be comfortable if i wrote this like how i know it (dd/lg) but I hope this will make you happy!~ ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ

***

Your heels bumped into the legs of the armchair as another wave of pleasure jolted into your nerves. You hissed as your grip on the armrest tightened and your teeth clenched. He has you sprawled out on his lap, your legs laid out on either side of him, your back against him and his fingers toying around your pussy. Within just a few minutes, Mori was able to reduce you into a sweaty mess. Spasmodic moans and pants liberally floating out of you. What’s even more maddening is he has you facing the panel of clear glass windows in his office and you can see almost the entire city from up here; and you feel like the entire city can see you, too.

With this thought, your hand reactively reached up to cover your face. Mori replied by moving his legs further apart causing you to spread even wider. You yelped as you feel your pussy being more exposed than ever. You know that if anybody can see you right now, they can definitely see every little detail of your genitalia.

You whimper as Mori ran two fingers down your slit and pushed them apart as if he’s really making sure that you’re as open to view as possible.

“Go on,” he mumbled through his teeth as he nimble on your ear, “Say it.”

He pushed his slender finger inside your hole and your walls clenched around it immediately. Your let out a drawn out gasp as he slowly slither inside.

“D-da…” Your jaw shakes and your voice weakens. You can feel Mori smirking behind you with the way you’re crumbling in front of him right now.

This isn’t exactly what you were expecting to happen when you nervously approached him in his office this afternoon. You gather all the courage you could muster to finally let him know about this certain kink of yours. You fiddle with the hem of your short skirt as you stumble on your words. When you finally got around what you really meant to say, Mori looked at you from the bunch of papers on his desk, only to blink at you innocently.

“Huh? A daddy kink? What is that, (Y/N)-chan?” He sounds like he really doesn’t have a single clue about it.

Your red face just got redder. He’s definitely only doing this to tease you. You puffed out your cheeks and blurted out in annoyance, “I want to call you ‘daddy’ and I want you to dominate me, okay?”

He just silently stared at you as if he can’t process what you just said. Your eyebrows knitted together and you pouted when he suddenly laughed. You stomped your feet demanding him not to make fun of you and he quickly apologized. You hoped that by then, he would lead you to the bedroom and figure this out with you but instead, he led you in the middle of the room and somehow, you ended up in this situation.

“C'mon, (Y/N)-chan. You can do it,” Mori wriggled his finger inside you, snapping you back into reality. You whined and squirmed on his lap, his teasing now starting to frustrate you. He never teased you this badly before.

“Da… ddy…” Your words came out almost like a whisper.

“What’s this? Is my baby getting all shy now?” Mori playfully whispered into your ear, sending shivers crawling up into your skin. You reflexively tried to close your legs out of embarrassment but Mori’s powerful legs triumphed over your own and was able to keep you spread wide open.

“I thought this was what you wanted. Why don’t you let me hear you now, hmm?” He licked the sides of ear and inserted another finger inside of you rather abruptly.

You cried out and arched your back. You feel like a fool for even considering that maybe Mori really doesn’t have the slightest idea of what a daddy kink is but before you can even beat yourself up about it, Mori pulled out his fingers only to push it back even deeper into you.

“Ah! Daddy!” You clawed at his forearm. You can’t hold yourself back anymore and you’re just an inch away from shamelessly begging him to use you already.

“Mmm. That sound so much better, baby.” Mori cooed and kissed your forehead. You tilted your head upwards and looked at him with pleading eyes; your lips parted as you continue to moan.

His lust filled eyes squinted as he smiled and dove his tongue inside your mouth. Mori is now knuckles deep inside your pussy, his fingers moving in a come-hither motion and his hungry kisses muffling your cries. With every curl of his fingers, he hits that special spot within you that have your hips bucking up. You haven’t even noticed how hard you’re grinding against his hands right now. Mori broke off from the kiss and chuckled.

“Now, now. You have to slow down, baby. You have to be patient and wait for the main event,” he said and kissed the tip of your nose.

Mori slowly pulled his fingers out and you felt so dirty hearing the squelching sounds coming out from you. You whimper from the sudden feeling of emptiness as Mori wiped his fingers with a handkerchief. It’s just now that your head isn’t numb with pleasure that you felt Mori’s hardness beneath you.

You fidget on your position to secretly grind on his erection but he forcefully grabbed your waist, stopping you from your attempt for control.

“I’m the one in charge here, am I not, honey?” He ran one of his hands from your hips, up to your neck and wrapped his fingers around it.

“Yes, daddy.”

“That is correct. So, from now on, you’ll only do what I tell you to do,” his words drawled out as he presses the sides of your neck, “Understood?”

You tightly pressed your lips together and nodded. Mori pressed harder and repeated himself, “Understood?”

“Yes, daddy!” You blurted out from the heavy pressure on your neck.

“That’s my girl,” he said rather cheerfully and released his grasp immediately. He traced the side of your face and grabbed you by the chin. Mori kissed you more affectionately this time, distracting you from the fact that your legs are still pried open with your soaking pussy in full view.

“Are you imagining that somebody’s watching us right now?” His voice dropped an octave lower and the vibrations from his chest tickled your back, “They’ll see such a pretty little baby like you, enjoying all the naughty things that daddy is doing to you. Whimpering and crying but still craves for more.”

The imagery he just put in your head made you sob. The thought of being watched embarrassed you to no ends but it’s undeniable that it’s also turning you on.

So much so that your pussy twitched with just the thought. It’s astounding how Mori can make you wet without even touching you.

“Daddy,” you pleaded. Your eyes shut and tears on its rim. Your hand grabbed what you can with his shirt, “Please, daddy. Please…”

You are not quite sure what you’re even begging for. On one hand, you want him to stop but on the other hand, you want him to just do you right then and there. Mori already know this, of course. He smirks in amusement with how much he enjoys seeing you beg. Maybe if you keep it up, he’ll finally give you what you want.

“Aww,” he said in faux-sympathy, “Does my baby wants to get fucked now? Would you like to show anyone who might be watching you right now your lewd faces as daddy pounds into you?”

You tightened your grasp on his shirt and you bit your lip. He’s really not going to stop making you beg any time soon. This is getting too much for you to take.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you? Well,” Mori rubbed his thumb on your flushed cheek sweetly but a hint of malice is on his eyes, “You know what you have to do.”

You let out a quiet whine, feeling helpless with your situation. You know you’ll have to do it to get what you want and even if you hate to admit it to yourself, his dominant side is driving you insane. He’s just perfect for this.

You looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, “Please, daddy. I want you to fuck me and make me come.”

You felt him shift on his seat and you thought that your pleading might be actually working so you continued. You ran hand from your chest down to your pussy and started playing with yourself.

“In here, daddy. Please put your cock inside me,” you enticed with the sweetest voice. You surprised yourself to hear such perverted words coming from your own mouth but you’ll do and say just about anything now to be satisfied.

Mori’s eyes glistened and his smirk just grew wider. This isn’t the first time you had sex and he has seen you in this ruined state before but there’s just something about the way you’re submitting to him right now that excites him more than ever. He figured out that this daddy kink of yours isn’t that bad after all.

“Well, I guess I can’t really say no to my pretty babydoll,” Mori stated, acting as if he was truly powerless over your sweet-talk.

Your heart skipped a beat with anticipation as Mori reached down to unzip his pants. Your whole body is throbbing and you unconsciously licked your lips. You moved to sit on one side of his lap so you can unbuckle his belt and let him pull his pants down with ease.

Your eyes are on the prize the moment that he unzipped and now you see his cock standing proudly as the man himself. Your mind running a hundred miles per hour with things you wanted to do with it but your perverse thoughts were interrupted when Mori palmed your breasts over your shirt. A wanton moan escaped out of you with just a single touch.

“Why don’t we take a look at what you got in here,” he said as he gently tugged your shirt upwards.

You shyly pulled on your shirt and held it up as if you’re just casually showing him a scar. He ogled your boobs for a moment before smiling and leaning forward to suck on one of your nipples. Your hands shook and your grip on your crumpled shirt tensed with the added pleasure.

“Hnng… Daddy…” You moaned out as Mori started to pinch on your other nipple, “That feels… So good…”

Mori made a few more licks before doing the same on the other one. Exchanging the place of his mouth and hand. The pleasure is almost overbearing that you wondered if it’s possible to actually come just from this. Before you can get into a conclusion, Mori moved back and positioned you into his lap once again. Your legs spread out on either side of him like before. With your shirt now lifted exposing your breasts, you look more obscene as ever. He lifted your skirt up to your waist and rubbed the tip of his cock on your slit; your wetness from his previous provocation coating him in an instance.

“It’s time for the main event, baby. Are you ready to put on a show?” Mori rumbled on your ear, addressing the invisible audience you seem to have.

You stare at the view in front of you and you unknowingly started to really imagine the said audience and how it’s now your goal to show them how good Mori is going to fuck you.

You gulped and nodded, “Yes, daddy.”

“Atta girl. Don’t worry now, baby. You don’t have to hold back. Just cry out as loud as you want to and show everybody just how naughty you really are,” Mori’s words ended as almost a growl.

You pushed skirt out of the way as Mori slowly inserted his cock inside your pussy. You groaned in unison and you know that he’s just as riled up as you are right now despite his composure. You’re filled to the brim when your butt reached his lap again. You’re aching with pleasure and you’re just eager for more. You glimpsed at Mori to see that his head is thrown back against the chair and his eyes are closed in ecstasy. It seems to you that he’s taking his time to calm himself down so he won’t cum unannounced.

You revel on his image before he slowly lifted his head back up and look at you. Your scrunched up eyebrows, your teary eyes, your blushing cheeks, segments of your hair sticking up to the side of your sweaty face; he loves this look on you. He smiled devilishly.

“Go on, you can start riding daddy now,” Mori affirmed with a kiss on your cheek.

With a weak whimper, you leaned forward to hold on to his knees for support and lifted your butt up. Your soft moan from that single movement became louder when you push yourself back down his cock again. You had to take a few seconds to find strength on your shaky knees to lift yourself up again and come back down; your cries getting louder and louder each time. You squeezed your eyes shut and bounced faster. You can’t hear anything other than the ringing of your own moans in your ears. You can feel your thighs getting tired from your strained efforts but your lust driven core just couldn’t stop moving. Soon enough, Mori grabbed your hips and pulled you back up against him.

“My dirty little baby,” he chuckled on your ear before placing sloppy kisses on your neck.

“Hold your skirt up while I fuck you so everybody can see how deep my cock is inside your tight pussy.”

You crumble a little bit more with his indecent language. You did just what you were told and hoisted the ends of skirt up to your belly, exposing yourself once more.

Mori dig his fingertips on your hips and thrusted roughly into you once. You threw your head back and let out a loud cry. He bit down on your shoulder as he plunged in once again and was closely followed by another. His thrusts are now coming in in a quicker succession and your breasts jiggled with each one.

He leaned back to the chair and held on to your hips tighter as he started to mercilessly ram his cock repeatedly into your pussy. Your hands are frozen, clutching your skirt and your breasts bouncing around harshly.

“Daddy! Daddy!” You repeatedly sobbed out and it’s all that you can really utter in your current state.

Mori kept pounding into you and you feel the knot on your stomach about to burst. You desperately wanted to fondle your own breasts or play with your clit just to finally get your most awaited release but you decided against it, since you don’t want to give Mori a reason to stop if you do something he didn’t asked you to.

You suddenly yelped when Mori stood up, bringing you with him and dragged the side table in front of you. Without a word, he pushed you down on it and adjusted his position behind you. You also tried to get in to a more comfortable position by propping yourself up on the table with your forearms.

He elicited another loud moan from you when he slammed back inside. Not even a moment passed and he’s back on thrusting roughly into your pussy; and you find yourself not being able to say anything else but calling out Mori’s new title.

Mori leaned over and used one of his hands to hold you firmly in position and the other to hold on to your neck. You cried out as your lifted body allowed your perked nipples to graze on the table each time Mori rocks you.

“Open your eyes, baby. I want you to look at our audience as you come,” he grunted in your ear between ragged breaths and moans.

You weakly opened your eyes and looked forward. You wondered if there’s really someone who can see you right now but at this moment, you’re too far gone to really care or even feel ashamed.

Your sensitive nipples kept rubbing on the cold table as Mori continued to barrel in and out of you and with all the combined pleasure, you were drove into the edge.

“Daddy,” you called out in a choked out voice. “I’m coming… I can't– I’m coming…”

“Go ahead, baby. Come and say daddy’s name,” Mori removed his hand on your hips to reach down and draw circles on your clit.

“Ah! Mori… Mo… Ri… Mori-san!”

You moaned out loud as the built up pressure on your abdomen bursted all throughout your body and sprinkled tingles down to your fingertips. Your sight turned white and your mind swept clean of any thoughts. Your muscles spasmed and your breath held for a while in a sharp inhale before coming down with a forceful exhale.

Mori watched your eyes rolled back and your mouth opened in a silent moan. It made his cock twitched and he felt his own release closing in soon. He forced his hips forward with a grunt and called out your name. You’re just coming down from your high but you know Mori’s erratic thrusting means he’s about to finish. He leaned down again to pull you into a kiss.

“(Y/N)-chan…” His voice sounded sweeter than how it was when you started.

He broke off from the kiss and withdraw his cock out of you with a squelch. He firmly grabbed you off of the table and push you down to the floor so you’re kneeling in front of him. He looked down at you while he’s stroking himself. You bit your lip and reached over so you can pump him instead. He petted your head as you look up to him, watching him come undone with each passing second. He called out your name once again as you lick his tip while stroking his shaft faster. A series of moans and groans broke out of Mori’s lips before his hips violently stuttered.

“(Y/N)-chan!” Mori exclaimed and suddenly gripped your hair. You squealed as he shamelessly spew his cum on your face.

You keep on stroking him until he came down from his own orgasm. He gently pushed his cock into your mouth and you sucked on it before letting it go with a pop. Mori panted as he tried to catch his breath and looked down on you to admire his work. He soon sat back down on his chair and tapped his lap, asking you to resume your previous position. You sprang to your unsteady feet and did so. He took out his handkerchief again and began to wipe his cum off of you as you close your eyes and cuddle up on his chest.

“Did I do it right? Was I a good daddy?” Mori playfully asked you, breaking away from his character.

You chuckled and nodded, “The best.”

Mori smiled. He knows how spent you must be feeling right now and thought that a nap would be his reward for your hard work. Besides, he could also use a shut-eye. Within a few clicks on his remote, the blinds came halfway down from the windows. The room was dim enough to make you even sleepier. Mori kissed your forehead and rested his head on yours.

It was, undoubtedly, the best sleep you’ve had for a very long time.

[lolapaciniz]

stupid little reflection on the abortion stuff for lola idk lol

having an abortion wasn’t easy. quite frankly, it also wasn’t something that lola envisioned herself having as a 15 year old girl. when she first read her pregnancy test, she couldn’t believe her eyes. something about the two lines made her head swirl, and though she tried again, and again, the result didn’t change. it wasn’t something she could tell her father about, either; he was a sweet and well-meaning man, but lola was his little girl, and she was sure he’d lose his mind if she ever spoke a word of what was going on inside of her. especially considering the baby was the spawn of the older hollingsworth socialite lola had her eyes on.

of course, there was the reassurance that yael had given her. nicki minaj had an abortion in high school, they had said. lola had been majorly unresponsive, too fixated on twirling the test in her hands. nicki minaj had ascended to celebrity stardom, anyway, and what was lola? a tiny, scared, teenage girl? she couldn’t believe it, she couldn’t believe it. moreover, this was finally her chance to embrace her past, to let go of the person she once was and learn to be herself for who she wholly was. but it was never that easy. no, not when the hollingsworths could ever have that ruining their reputation; not their beloved 16 year old son knocking up a younger girl. that would be ridiculous.

as it followed, any plans lola had of speaking of her abortion publicly were out of the question. the hollingsworths were quick to pay her off, paying everything to cover the abortion and then some. all in exchange for her silence: never to speak of it, never to acknowledge it, never to do anything that could infringe on the family’s good name as a result of her brash, promiscuous stupidity. and she agreed - she had to, anyways, what with how greatly she feared the influence the family had. and immediately, it put a strain on her relationship with miles, lola choosing to blame him above all else, somehow deluding herself into believing it was his idea. 

she was scared, more scared than she could recall ever being. with no one to talk to, no one to tell, what was she to do? the great exception, of course, was yael, who accompanied her without a second thought despite gripes regarding their history project. they called the uber, held lola’s hand in the accompanying car ride over. when they stepped out, it seemed like a foreign world, like they were slabs of meat in a cage, surrounded by starving tigers. the eyes on the protesters were cold, unforgiving; any last shreds of sympathy they once had were long gone once they could get a good enough look at lola, to see the hair, the stature, to truly grasp how young she was. “abortion is murder,” they would chant, circling lola and yael with their graphic signs in hand. “why are you going to kill your baby?”

lola could hardly spare a glance at the signs they carried, the brutal imagery of late-term abortions and the affects they had on the fetuses. while she cast her head in shame, yael was quick to tense, holding their arm out to guard the protesters off of abortion. “get away from her,” they snarled, brow furrowed from the shield of their glasses. “come on, lo, it’s okay.” and despite yael’s coos as they helped to lead her inside, lola couldn’t help but ponder: was she a murderer? was she a bad person for doing this? furthermore, had it even been her choice, anymore? she knew of the pro-choice debacle, but what about when this was, for the most part, against her will? 

“i’m scared,” lola had whispered to yael, fingers forming around the other’s wrist. “i- i can’t do this. what if they hurt me?”

yael was quick to frown with sympathy, elbow still jutting out to fend off predatory protesters. “i won’t let them hurt you, okay?” immediately, they grabbed their cell phone from their pocket, holding it up towards the protesters. “put your hands on us and i will call the police,” they said, glaring at the crowd before them. “go ahead and protest, but do not touch her.” watching yael hold out their phone, lola made a quick dash to the door, yael following with one last scowl to the crowd outside.

once they were inside, once they were greeted by the calm and gentle-voiced employees inside, things seemed to get better. yael remained in the waiting room as lola went to her appointment, carefully examining the footage from the events outside. the abortion went well, no complications or major pain occurring. she couldn’t deny she felt different, though. it was just as the clinicians warned, and yet she still felt a sense of surprise at the emptiness in her chest. “am i going to die?” she asked, voice squeaky, weak.

“no, you’re going to be okay,” one of the employees replied, looking at her sympathetically. “it’s normal to feel a sense of loss after an abortion. just make sure you take it easy, alright? we’re going to have someone escort you back outside, and for about a week from today, try to avoid sitting in water. we just want to avoid infection, okay?” 

lola took to ignoring the streak of tears that had formed, giving a quiet nod as she grabbed yael’s hand and followed the employee outside. once the uber arrived, they got in, and were off. 

and just like that, it was over.

[bittersweetmigraine]

I hate liars. (chapter 2)

Author’s note: first of all, finally decided on a face for our villain and he is the actor Dong Ha (whose real name is Hyungyu and I know he’s not actually petite but I wanted him to be so yeah). His portrayal of a psychopath in Suspicious Partner was so chilling, he’s the first one that came to mind. Hope you’re not disappointed with that. second, I might have gone slightly overboard. This is waaaaay longer than the first chapter and idk whether this is the kind of lengthy chapter you’d like or whether shorter ones would be better. Please let me know! Other than that, I hope you enjoy~

Genre: mafia!AU, very graphic imagery, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, mention of rape (if you’re not comfortable with any of those themes, please do not read) // female mc

Word count: 5147.

Summary: You never really knew how your father got involved in a gang but you knew what he did for a living, for the most part. When a rival gang comes to get what they’re due and your father refuses, everything turns to horror.

chapter one • chapter three

The whole ride to their HQ was a complete blur. You vaguely remember the tall blonde-haired man lifting you up into his arms and bringing you over to a big black range rover, putting you in the front seat and putting your seatbelt on. After that, you only remember the streets of Seoul, flashing before your eyes. Your head leaning on the cold hard glass window, you stared at passerby as they looked back at you before glancing away rapidly. Your entire world seemed to be falling apart piece by piece as you moved further away from your father and closer to what was going to be your future. You thought of running away. You thought of suddenly opening the car door when the driver stopped at a red light but you didn't have the strength to bring that thought into motion. You just stayed there, motionless.

You finally arrived at your destination. Even then, you didn't move an inch. The door you were leaning on opened and you didn't bother putting any effort into staying upright and simply started falling towards the ground. Two strong arms caught you, lifting you up like they had off of the ground just an hour ago. You lifted your chin slightly, staring at the man who was walking you to your ill-fated destiny. He didn't look like the normal gangster. He had soft eyes and an innocent smile. You couldn't help but wonder how someone who looked so pure and so soft could end up the right-hand man to someone so despicable. You turned your head slightly to the side, examining the place he was moving towards. You were standing in an alley that couldn't fit more than one car at a time. There were shops on each side of the road ranging from pawn shops to restaurants, to dry-cleaners. It looked like every other neighborhood in Seoul. Except it wasn't. A dark alleyway was squeezed in between one of the many pawn shops and a garage from where big men all wearing black were coming out to see the show. Nothing but muscle and fat on their body and you instantly knew they were the brute force of the organization. The men you ordered to fight for you. They were part of the organization but not a single person here was important. Or indispensable. They all l looked at you like you were a piece of meat, each making their assessments on your level of beauty. 'She's cute. I could break her from her single hip thrust though.' 'Not exactly my type but then again, who cares about looks when you take them from behind.' 'Look at Daniel go, already's got hands all over her. Isn't she supposed to be the boss' son's girl?' Dry laughter followed every remark. As the last man finished his statement, you felt the man who was holding you tense up before he sent a death glare towards that group. Daniel. So that's his name. And from what you could understand, he seemed like someone who had some power.

As Daniel brought you towards the main entrance through the dark alley, you felt a shiver run down your spine. The shadows playing on the walls looked like creatures from your nightmares and you curled up against his chest. You felt his grip on you tighten slightly as he moved you back up towards his chest, grabbing you firmly. The narrow alleyway led you to a big double door that looked to be the entrance to about a three-story building. You looked up at the sky, trying to remember the shape of every cloud that was passing overhead. For some reason, you had a bad feeling this would be your last opportunity to enjoy being outside before a long, long time. The man who had murdered your father came up from Daniel's right and looked straight at you. His hand came up to stroke your cheek and you froze in fear. Your mind went back to the slap. You could still feel the vibrations it had sent through your body. "Good girl." he whispered as his fingertips grazed your lips, before nodding towards the two body guards guarding the door. They each opened a door and the man walked in first, hands behind his back, a little spring to his step. Your hand came up to Daniel's shoulder and you squeezed it tightly. He looked down at you, surprised to see you move. He didn’t think you’d have the strength. 'Save me.' were the two words you mouthed to him, fear making your irises tremble. He looked you straight in the eye and nodded ever so slightly as to not attract any unwanted attention before he made his way into the building.

You took a look around. Everything looked so terrifying. From the velvet rug that drew a path to a very large staircase to the piles of cocaine being hidden away, everything felt so unfamiliar. Even though you knew, for the most part, what your father did for a living, you never got involved. He never wanted you to. So you never witnessed the drug deals, weapon exchanges, and other illegal acts your father may have committed. To be exposed to all of it, in all its putrid magnificence, you weren't prepared for that. "Daniel, take her upstairs." The blonde-haired man nodded, a 'yes, hyungnim' brushing past his lips before he took long strides towards the staircase. It was the kind of staircase that fanned at the bottom, slightly narrowed down before opening up in a little area. Two second sets of stairs started off on both sides, allowing you to get to the second floor. The area in between the two floors opened up on a cozy living room kind of area. Two sofas were facing each other, separated only by a small marble table, an enormous fireplace taking the center stage of it all. You drank it all in, trying to remember every detail about this place. Even in this kind of situation, the lessons your father had taught you were shining through. After you had found out about his true identity, your father had taught you how to defend yourself. You knew the basics of self-defense but what he had put a lot of emphasis on was knowing your surroundings. You were only as strong as your knowledge of the space you were in. Escape routes, placements of guards, weapons, you should always be aware of where the threat lies and the easiest way for you to escape. That's what he had taught you. And despite the burning pain boring a hole through your heart, you followed his teachings. After examining your surroundings, you looked up at Daniel and at the tiny bead of sweat that dripped from his forehead. Your hand came up naturally and wiped it off. He looked quite surprised and stopped just a little short of the second set of stairs. A faint smile appeared on your face as you croaked out an "I can walk." He shook his head and started off again, heading upstairs.

He finally put you down in front of a wooden door at the end of a long hall. Looking from the outside, you had never expected the interior of this place to be so big. They sure did a good job finding a hideout. You could hate them with every fiber of your body, but you had to give them at least that, they were quite good at being the villains. You put your hand on the doorknob, slowly turning it. Your heart was racing, not knowing what you had to expect. But you could feel his presence behind you. His overwhelming warmth engulfing you and giving you to courage to push the door open. You entered a big rectangle room. At the center of the room, pushed up against the opposite wall was a magnificent ebony four-poster bed. The burgundy sheets flowed down to the floor in a wave of silky beauty but you couldn't help but notice the white shirt, sprawled out on the bed. A man's shirt. You turned around, seeing Daniel close the door behind the two of you. "Where are we?" You knew exactly where you were. You knew what was waiting for you. But in your hopeful foolishness, you wished Daniel would tell you otherwise. "Your room." he said in a low voice, turning back towards you. "Mine alone?" You saw the hurt in his eyes. He didn't want to do this to you. And yet it was his place to shatter your last sliver of hope. "Yours and Hyunggyu hyungnim." Your face fell. He wasn't joking when he said he wanted to take you as his wife. It wasn't just something he said out of the blue to drive your father to his limits. He actually intended to make you his wife. You felt acid crawling up your throat and you rushed to a door on your right, hoping to find a bathroom. You opened it hastily and to your luck, it was indeed a master bathroom. You emptied your already empty stomach in the toilet bowl, flushed and steadied yourself on the nearby sink. You looked at yourself and had you not known you were looking at your reflection, you wouldn't have recognized yourself. In under two hours, bags had appeared under your eyes like you had been awake for 48hours straight. Your eyes were bloodshot red and drool was dripping from the corner of your mouth. You took some water in your hands and washed your face, trying to scrub off this horrible nightmare your life had just become. You heard steps coming from behind you as you saw Daniel appear into view, leaning on the doorframe. You turned the water off and crawled your way to him. You took his hand into yours, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. "I thought you'd help me. I know what I saw. You nodded. I know you did." He squatted down in front of you and brought you back up to your feet. He moved you towards the bed and had you sit down as he lowered himself to your eye level. "I will." Even though you didn't know this man, at all, his words appeased you. For some strange reason, you felt like you could count on him. "But I can't do that right now. You'll have to endure it for a while." Fear seeped into your bones as you thought about having to live next to a man you already despised. You look at Daniel straight in the eye and he gave you a faint smile that only fueled your fire. They do say that in desperate times, you tend to do dumb things. Like, put your trust in people you shouldn't. "Forget it." The venom dripping from your every word was chilling to the core. "I don't even know why I thought you'd be any different. You're all one of the same." You spat out, turning away from him. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell you he wasn't like his boss, he truly did want to help you but not everything was that easy. He couldn't simply whisk you away without any consequences. But before a single sound could escape his lips, a loud knock was heard and Daniel stood straight up, taking a step away from you. A boy of small stature poked his head through the door. His skin was pale and his eyes perfect almonds. You had no idea how someone so young could find themselves intertwined in this kind of business. "Hyung, Hyunggyu hyungnim is looking for you." "Thanks, Jihoon-ah, I'll be right down." The younger boy nodded and closed the door behind him. Daniel came right back to your side, taking your hands in his. You ignored him and looked elsewhere. "I won't let him hurt you, that I promise." Your heart was racing in your chest but still pretended to ignore him. He sighed heavily before leaving the room quietly, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Daniel went back downstairs, looking for Hyunggyu. He found him lounging on a sofa, a beautiful woman on his lap. He couldn't help but roll his eyes at the actions of his elder. Daniel and Hyunggyu went way back. Despite the four year difference, they were always like brothers. They were inseparable. That was until Daniel and his parents got kidnapped as collateral. Daniel made it out alive, but his parents didn't. They weren't deeply rooted in the system but they were associated with Hyunggyu's dad who ran everything around here and got caught in the crossfire. Daniel was only 8. After that day, Daniel was never really the same. He still was his cheerful self but he had his dark times. Moments when everything would come back to him. Because he was there. He witnessed everything. And for an 8-year-old to witness the murder of his parents, it'd be an understatement to say that it shocked him to his core. Hyunggyu's dad ended up adopting him and treated him as his son ever since, which didn't sit well with his biological son. Let's just say that Hyunggyu didn't mind sharing with friends but sharing with an adoptive brother when your father clearly favors him, is hard to deal with when your ego is the size of Manhattan. The black-haired man looked at his younger brother through hooded eyes, gritting his teeth. "How's my fiance doing?" Daniel's hand formed into a fist and he faked a smile, knowing better than to challenge Hyunggyu when it came to you. "She's adapting. Trying at least." That forced a chuckle past Hyunggyu's lips as his eyes darkened and he got up, throwing the woman he had on his lap to the side. "Guess I'd better help her get acclimated then." The smirk on his face was sickening. Daniel was clenching his fist so hard his knuckles turned white and his fingernails dug into the palm of his hand. Hyunggyu went past him, patting his shoulder before heading upstairs, whistling. Hyunggyu wasn't always like this. He hadn't always been this shell of a human being, void of emotions. But it was who he had become and knowing what he was capable of and knowing where he was headed made Daniel sick to his stomach. He gritted his teeth until his jaw hurt and with fists still clenched, he made his way outside.

He didn't really know where he wanted to go but he knew he needed to get out of there, as far away from Hyunggyu as possible. Before he did something stupid. He wandered down the dark alleyway he had brought you down just moments before. Your face popped up in his mind. Your hand, clutching at his shoulder, your eyes filled with fear as you tentatively asked him to save you. You had no idea who he was. You had no idea what his reaction was going to be. He could have just told his boss right away as they laughed about it together and you got tortured some more. But still, you took a chance. You took a chance on him. And knowing he was leaving you to the wolves was killing him. He was just hoping to any god that'd listen to him, that nothing happened to you. He'd figure it out. He'd figure out a way to get you to safety. Soon. He came out of the alleyway and moved towards the car repair shop that was on his left. It wasn't exactly a normal garage as it belonged to their gang but they did actually repair their own cars so it did have a semblance of being an actual shop. He wandered in and spotted a sedan that the boys had just finished working on. "Mind if I take her for a drive?" Everyone knew Daniel and just his presence intimidated them. They all nodded rapidly as one of the younger guys handed him the keys, looking at the ground. Daniel hopped in and started driving, not really knowing where he was going. He drove and kept on driving. He didn't really have a destination in mind yet but after about an hour of driving, he realized where he had been headed all along. As he walked towards the front door, he remembered your face when you heard the gunshot and his heart broke in half. He had witnessed countless murders and had to continue living with the images of the heartbroken families they had left behind. But never before had he been this heartbroken. He pushed open the front door and the air reeked of blood and bodily fluids. He brought a hand up to his nose and moved towards the main hall. As he saw your father, bathing in his own blood, bits and pieces of his brain stuck to the floor and nearby wall, for the second time in his life, Daniel had to look away.

Daniel gathered his thoughts and moved towards the back of the restaurant. Through the kitchen window, he discovered a backyard but no back door. He went back outside, trying not to look at your father. He found a tiny path hugging the right-side wall of the restaurant leading towards the backyard. He walked around, basking in the peace and quiet that the little garden was allowing him, in the middle of this city that never sleeps. As he moved towards the back of the backyard, he spotted what looked like a gravestone in the far corner. Upon inspection, he realized the grave must have belonged to your mother. He had heard of the stories. One of Hyunggyu's dad’s proudest moments. The sick fuck. Daniel discovered a run-down shed, hugging the back wall of the building. He made his way inside and found a shovel, a pick and a big bag of quicklime. A soft sigh escaped his lips as the thought hit him. Your father must have always had everything one needed to bury a body in this shed. And that was one of the most depressing things he could think of. Whether he was always getting ready to bury one of his men or whether he wanted everything ready for when this moment happened, the simple thought was heartbreaking. The last thing he could do for his daughter was to prevent her from having to go buy the supplies she needed to bury her own father. When you're in the mafia, most of the time, you don't get to have a real place to rest after your death. Your family, unlike the rest of the world, does not get to have a place to go and visit you after your death. Most of the time, you end up being thrown into a communal grave where every single man who died during a fight ends his days. That's the sad reality of their world. Only the lucky few get to rest in peace after living such a hard life. After everything that had happened today, and everything that was going to happen from now on, if this was one of the only nice things Daniel could do for you, he was going to put his all into it.

After about six hours of digging, some more digging, some heavy lifting and a lot of cleaning, Daniel was putting the last of the soil on your father's grave. Before putting him in the ground, he had noticed this watch you father was still wearing. He didn't know whether this was a good or a terrible idea but he took it off his still warm wrist and put it in his pocket. Whether this was going to infuriate you or appease your hurt in some way, he had no idea of knowing. And frankly, that scared him shitless. That he could be the one bringing you more pain when all he wanted to do was help you through this tough time. But what was done was done. He moved a big rock on top of the freshly made grave to prevent any stray cat from becoming grave robbers. That’s something you learn from experience. He went back into the restaurant one last time, taking a look around. He hadn't forgotten any spots, no one would ever know they were there had it not been for the note he placed on one of the counters in the kitchen. 'Your boss is dead. Buried him in the backyard. His daughter is with us. Don't try anything stupid. -The Crimson Roses' Voices could be heard from outside. For a second, Daniel thought he was screwed but he thought back to the kitchen window and made his way through it with difficulty before four large men made their way through the door. With your father's watch in his pocket, he sprinted back to the car, hopping back into the sedan and made his way back to HQ, his heart still racing.

After Daniel left you alone with your thoughts, you stayed completely frozen on the bed for a couple of minutes before you finally decided to move. You dragged yourself to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You moved towards the bathtub and drew yourself a nice hot bath. You needed it, badly. You took off all of your clothes, discovering the bruises Hyunggyu had left on your body when he threw you on the ground earlier that day. You traced the bluish stain on your arm and hip, wincing as even a simple touch sent a shot of pain through your whole body. You tentatively entered the bathtub, letting the warmth of the water relax your every muscle. You stared at the ceiling, wondering whether your father would be able to make it to paradise. Not that you particularly believed in all that crap but the thought alone helped you cope a little. You closed your eyes and you felt yourself slowly sliding down. Your body kept sliding, and sliding, and sliding until your entire head was submerged in water. For the first time that day, you felt at peace. A few bubbles of oxygen escaped your lips and you imagined them popping as they reached the surface, releasing a scream as loud as your pain into the world. You felt the air in your lungs slowly becoming rarer. Your heart was racing in your chest, your mind was blank, your lungs were screaming. You wanted this. Or did you? Your mouth slightly opened and as you drank some water, almost as a primal instinct, you flung your entire body out of the water, choking on the tiny bit that had entered your lungs. You hit your chest, spitting out every last drop of water that entered your body and you started sobbing. You couldn't even manage to kill yourself. How pathetic was that? You heard a door slam as you jumped at the sudden sound, tears stuck in your eyes. You got out of the tub and dried yourself. You put the same clothes back on, those same clothes with blood stained elbows and a rip at the knee. You exhaled deeply before opening the door to your bedroom. You tried scanning the room but couldn't see everything due to the way the door opened. You peeked your head out and saw him. You froze in place for a second before jumping right back into the bathroom. Even the sight of him terrified you. "Don't be afraid. Come over here." You heard him call out. After a few seconds too long, you heard a loud sigh and some inaudible rambling. "I told you to come over here. Right. Now." The tone of his voice had changed and no matter how badly you wanted to stay hidden in the very bathroom you thought of taking your own life in, you wandered out. You closed the bathroom door behind you, turning slowly towards him but not moving a step. His suit vest was hanging on the armrest of the chair next to the door to the bedroom. He was sitting at the end of the bed, taking his cufflinks off, neatly placing them on the nearest nightstand. He looked at you through hooded eyes, a slight smirk plastered on his face. "Come over here. I'm not going to eat you." His voice was sweeter but you could hear the fakeness in his tone. Still, absolutely terrified, you made your way over to him as he started unbuttoning his shirt. You stood about a meter away from him, completely stiff when he took your wrist and brought you over to him. His arms found their way around your waist as he buried his face in the valley between your breasts. His grip on your hips tightened as it took everything in you not to scream out of pain. He nuzzled his nose down to your bellybutton, inhaling, taking in your scent. Silent tears started to roll down your eyes as you were completely frozen in place. His hands kept stroking your lower back as he placed his chin on your stomach, looking up at you. Seeing your contorted face, a silent tear rolling down your face, he almost felt hurt you could find him so repugnant. That fleeting thought soon enough left his mind as he gripped onto your hips even harder and threw you down on the bed. You yelped in surprise and in pain, your arms coming up to your chest as to prevent him from intruding your space even further. You dared looked into his eyes and what you saw sent a shiver down your spine. He was looking right back at you and his eyes were the color of the midnight sky, filled with lust. His right hand came up to your shoulder as he grazed your skin with his fingertips. His hand moved down your side, to your hip. He slowly moved your shirt up, revealing the bruises he has inflicted upon you. His fingertips grazed the bruise. His fingers were freezing to the touch, 'as cold as his heart' you thought. You bit your lip, keeping yourself from screaming. You weren't going to give him that joy. "Did I do that?" he said, a fake pout finding its way onto his face. He brought his lips down to your hip, placing a wet kiss on the bruise. And another slightly higher up. And another at the hem of your bra. His lips parted with your skin as you closed your eyes tight, hoping this moment would stop if you wished hard enough for it. A slight chuckle escaped his lips at your reaction. He brought his face closer to your ear. "There's nothing to be afraid of, princess." He whispered in your ear, his warm breath on your neck sending a chilling shiver down your spine. His lips moved to your neck as he started sucking on the supple flesh while his right hand moved down to your thigh. He placed his hand on the outside of your knee, slowly bringing it higher up. When he brought his hand to the inner part of your thigh, your instinctively brought your legs together, locking his hand in place. He instantly froze and you did as well, absolutely terrified of what he'd do to you for having dared refuse him what he wanted. He brought both his hands right next to your head, supporting his weight as he towered above you. You opened your eyes and your gazes locked together. You were sure he could see the absolute terror he was inflicting on you and it looked like he liked it. "I'm letting you off this time, princess. Your father did just die." In a flash, he was off of you, sitting at the edge of the bed like you had found him earlier. He finished taking his shirt off and revealed multiple scars that painted his back. He got up and turned towards you, pointing a disapproving finger at your frozen figure. "But don't you dare do that again. Reject me all you want, you're still mine." His words tore through you as he headed for the bathroom, smirking. He slammed the door and you jumped, not quite processing everything that had just happened.

You stayed there for a couple of minutes, just lying there, unable to forget his hands on you. You could still feel every single stroke of his rough hand, every wet impact of his lips on your skin and it made you feel sick to your stomach. You wanted to scrub your skin till it turned raw only so you could feel less dirty but he was in there. And you weren't about to go outside looking for another bathroom. Instead, you took a pillow, squeezed it in between your legs and curled up into a ball on one side of the bed. Silent tears were streaming down your face and you couldn't do anything to stop the current. Every trace that each tear left on your cheeks felt like burning fire but you simply couldn't stop. It was like your body was determined to empty your body till the very last drop. That's how you fell asleep, out of exhaustion. Curled up on a stranger's bed that felt as cold as the morning breeze on a January morning. That night you dreamt of your parents. You dreamt of the night you found your father holding your mother's limp body in his arms. You remember the venom dripping from his tongue and the look of defeat in his eyes. You also dreamt of your father and his two fallen front teeth. You dreamt of the gunshot that ended his life and of his lifeless body probably still lying on the cold hard tiles of the restaurant. You dreamt of them, meeting up in paradise and looking down at you. You heard your mom's voice calling out and your body slightly relaxed at the sound of her voice. "You'll do great, sweetheart. I know you're strong enough to get through this. Choose the right allies. Fool the right people. In this game you're about to play, you either win, or you die."

This chapter touched on very sensitive subjects. If any of my readers would like to talk, in private or through anon messages, don’t hesitate. I’m always there for you.

[cleopatraas]

A Court of Wings and Chiara (acowar spoilers)

Anonymous asked: I just finished ACOWAR and ugh I kept thinking about Chiara the entire time! Please make a post where you have head canons or something and she's in ACOWAR. I need it, I need to know what she would have done in those scenes.

For everyone who doesn’t know Chiara is my original character. Rhys’s sister, Tamlin’s mate, High lady of the Night Court. 

I’ll be honest with you. I literally just finished ACOWAR last night and I forgot what half the book was about. So this...is gonna be rocky. 

This turned out to be...super long and I really hope you guys read it even though it’s long. And I will do a  cut...only for you guys. 

Warning: if there are typos...I will literally jump off a bridge. Because I’m sure even after proof reading, there will be at least one (1) typo that hates me. 

The Meeting: aka the Court of Dreamers is reunited. 

Feyre and Chiara are best friends, they are sisters. You can pry this from my cold dead hands. They ALMOST went from enemies (because of Tamlin) to friends (this is what they are now) to lovers (but...there’s Rhys) but I’ll be honest. I ship these ladies so much. 

But they’re just weeping and crying and clinging to each other and Chiara hisses, “I’ll kill him with my bear hands if he touched you” I have nothing that rhymes except sisters before misters, but basically they’re that™ friendship. and Feyre is like “No, no. It’s fine, it’s fine” 

Chiara is the only person who recognizes Lucien’s trauma. She was there. In the Spring Court. I do not™ care about the timeline, these two were friends. And she just...talks to Lucien. And she hears him talk, and talk, and talk. But she doesnt react, tries not to clinch her fists, and then she hugs Lucien and promises him that, “You’re safe here. I’ll protect you with my life. If you want - you are my court now, Lucien. This home, these people, are yours. When you are ready” 

Summer Court Attack: aka that time when Tarquin put everyone in their place 

Chiara shows up a little late (you’ll know why later), but boy she’s in Illyrian leathers and she’s flying with the Illyrians with Cassian, taking down Hybern’s aerial army. And they’re both working so well together, because you can PRY this from my cold dead hands but they were always super close and Chiara always got him through his kills, especially his first ones. 

Chiara can feel Rhys, through that sibling bond, that slimmer of magic they share. She checks on Feyre and Mor, but she knows her besties got this covered, and then she faces that hologram projection of the King of Hybern. And she and Rhys are side to side, the Siblings of the Night Court, Death Incarnates, or whatever other titles Rhys had, and they’re both getting ready to be martyrs (siblings who are idiots together, stay together). But then the projection goes poof and the ship and all those warriors go Mist™  

Chiara feels so bad about what they had to do to get the Book and she was genuinely starting to feel something for Tarquin? (Or Varian or Cresseida. I will captain all of these ships). That was in ACOMAF and in that time Chiara was finally...healing. After Tamlin, after Amarantha, and she just...saw something in those bright blue Summer Court eyes. And she had to betray them. 

Chiara keeps her Court in check™. There will be no disrespecting Tarquin in his own court. She just lays her hands before him, pleading with her eyes, regret, so much regret, written clear on her face. 

“You stole from me”

“I know”

“You could have just asked me” 

“Tarquin, I know. But I won’t say sorry, those are useless words. But I am. You don’t have to take the blood rubies off our names, but know that we saved you today. And I would gladly drag more Illyrian solders, I would gladly drag my family out here to do it again. Nothing owed, ever.”

“Get out”

And she’s just?? She doesn’t know what to do. She bows and then takes her Court and goes to check on the wounded. And into the night and all throughout the day, you see one Illyrian female tended to every wounded she can find: both Summer Fae and Illyrian. 

Chiara isn’t in a lot of scenes because she’s got BUSINESS to take care of. (and also because I really can not remember a lot rom ACOWAR)

The High Lord Meeting: aka the scenes where all my wigs were snatched and I still haven’t gotten them back 

The Court of Dreamers came to slay. No masks, no lies, all wings. Chiara walks in front, but she’s wearing simple trousers and a tunic, everyone else can be fancy. Some earrings, chokers, bracelets and rings here and there too, of course. But at some point in her life she had to stop being a little girl and be a ferocious High Lady. And if everyone else in pants, then so is she. 

She has a crown on her head and I’m shaking at the imagery. She has stars in her hair, nightmares in her eyes. She looks behind her, at her Court, and she nods. She gives an extra nod to Nesta (you can pry this friendship out of my cold dead hands. Try it). And then she walks into the room, her wings flaring behind her. 

She meets all the High Lords’ eyes and then Mor squeals. I love her friendship with Viviane and Chiara used to be friends with Viviane too....before Amarantha. And she just watches Mor and Viviane and gives a polite smile and then sits down. 

Tarquin shows up, like the truest boss he is. Chiara’s heart squeezes. She tries to catch Tarquin’s or Varian’s eye, but they won’t look at her. Beron and the Brood show up, eek. 

Everything is going...as well as it can be, UNTIL TAMLIN WALKS IN, IN ALL HIS PETTY GLORY. And that tug, that tug that is so small, so fragile, makes their eyes meet. And Tamlin’s nostrils flare and Chiara grips her chair tightly. 

But Chiara is the Bigger Person™ and she gets up and walks over to Tamlin and holds her hand out. Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are on edge. Mor, too. They’re the only people who know the entire story, of what went down, what went wrong. 

Tamlin sneers at her so she sneers back and huffs and goes to sit down on her chair, letting her wings flare. And Tamlin’s eyes roam over them, and something like sadness fills those green orbs. 

Then Amarantha comes up in the conversation...and it takes everything for the Bat Brothers to not snap at Tamlin and Beron. But Chiara sits with a removed silence, tilting her head to the side. Titles are flung - “High Lord Killer” which causes Tamlin to cringe, and other titles as well. (Yes. Chiara killed Tamlin’s father, beheaded that fool for killing her mother, then she left his brothers to her brother and father. And Tamlin killed her father. I told y’all their story is ...)

“You call me High Lord Killer, Beron, as if you don’t understand those three words. Would you like me to give you a live demonstration?” Helion snorts. Thesan chokes. 

“How did it feel to kill your mate’s father?”

Chiara tilts her head to the side again. “It felt glorious to get revenge for my mother if that’s what you’re asking, Beron, and if not, I would like to get to the topic at hand. Hybern”

But then the Winter Court comes up...(Rhys and Chiara both sacrificed themselves to Amarantha to keep Velaris safe. Rhys did it because he wouldn’t let his baby sister do it alone) 

“We stopped her from killing you, Kallias. We had no idea what the costs would be” Chiara falters and her eyes go to Tamlin for a moment, before she looks away. “I thought keeping her busy would distract her. But she sent Rhys instead”

Azriel protec™ but he also ATTAC™ ERIS FOR INSULTING CHIARA.

Chiara protec™ but she also ATTAC™ BERON FOR INSULTING HER AND RHYS.

Skip, skip, boring political stuff, Tamlin being petty, the usual. 

Skip!

Helion comes to their room. And Chiara smiles and she hugs him and Feyre is like “Wut?” and Chiara shrugs, patting Helion’s shoulder. 

“You two....Chiara please tell me not every High Lord is in love with you” Like Feyre is trying to piece the pieces together and she looks to Mor, Cassian, and Azriel for help and Cassian and Azriel are watching Helion, and mor is just giving small thumbs up and a wink. 

“Of course not, silly. Beron is old enough to be a pile of ash by now, and quite frankly, I have better taste than that. And Thesan has better taste than me” She™ Did™ That™. And Feyre snorts and mocks her. 

“Have fuuuuuun”

“I will”

Chiara saunters off and Feyre whistles and Mor joins in, clapping and I love girls supporting girls no matter what. I just...I love it. 

You could literally drag me away from this friendship, beat me, tie me to a tree, and I would somehow find a way back to it. 

Skip, skip, skip. 

Skip!

The Second Attack On The Summer Court: aka where I decided to finally disown Tamlin for 2 seconds 

Also the moment Chiara decided her fist belonged on Tamlin’s fast. Hard. Fast. Many times. Julian?? Redemption arc?? Idk him. But sure, let’s keep it. 

Chiara fights side by side with Tarquin and Varian and I’m literally wiping tears at how precious it was. Varian at her back, Tarquin at her side, they fight together. Shadow and water, blinding and drowning, cutting down enemies. They never falter and finally FINALLY their relationship is repaired and I can ship them in peace. Who? I still don’t know yet...

Chiara flies over to Cassian and she finishes cutting down enemies and Cassian takes down the commander like the TRUE BOSS is his. And it was just amazing and yet again, Chiara tends to the wounded, the High Lady, the High Lord Killer, getting on her knees and healing people who are supposed to be “far below her” 

She disappears for a bit and doesn’t appear until the second battle (You will know why)

The Second Battle: aka where everything went down hill so fast my mind was spinning 

Anytime Cassian and Chiara fight together I get literal chills. ANY TIME ALL FOUR OF THE SIBLINGS FIGHT TOGETHER I LITERALLY COLLAPSE ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR. Azriel is somewhere behind her, blue light flashing. Cassian is to her left, red light flashing. And Rhys is cutting through soldiers on her right, green light flashing (Rhys isnt High Lord so he has does have all those powers so yes he has seven Siphons and they’re green). 

But the line...it starts to crumble. She loses sight of Azriel, then Cassian, and then Rhys. And she doesn’t know which brother to go to first, which person to cut down to get to them faster. And she always has this fear...this fear that she won’t get to them fast enough, like she didn’t get to her mother fast enough. That all she will be able to do is get revenge instead of saving them. 

She feels Feyre tug at the bond. And she spins around, looking up at Feyre. I need you. And Chiara shakes her head, she can’t leave her brothers, and Feyre doesn’t need anyone. You got this. Go. Be safe. 

(Remind me again why I don’t have them dating?)

CHIARA. SEES. CASSIAN. FALL. She’s fighting and she finally got to Azriel and Mor is with Rhys and all four of them are trying to get to Cassian, but then that stupid commander cuts her brother down. And she screams and a wave of magic finally takes out the Hybern forces. 

And she and Azriel are running to Cassian and she lifts him up without a second hesitation and Azriel is right there with her, holding Cassian’s guts in, and she’s sobbing and telling Cassian to stay with her, and Rhys is below them, making sure they’re protected. They’re flying through the sky, Mor winning below them, trying to get their brother to a healer, before it’s too late...

Feyre comes back with Helion, the latter just nodding at Chiara once. Chiara barely sees it, she’s covered in Cassian’s blood, sitting by his side. But she has so many tricks up her sleeve...she needs more sleeves. 

The Cauldron, Elain and The Rescue: aka that moment where none of us were scared but we were all low key scared

Nesta locates the Cauldron and Chiara squeezes her shoulder gently, her hand on her lower back. (Remind me again why I don’t have them dating either?) “You did well” and Nesta gives the slightest bit of a small maybe?? And Chiara gives one right back and...great. I swear Chiara is shippable with literally everyone, even that ROCK. 

The Cauldron takes Elain or however that happened?? I still don’t understand it, but let me not question it or I’ll drive myself crazy. Chiara insists on joining Feyre. She grabs her shoulders, “You sisters are my sisters, Feyre. We are family. We do not leave one behind, one link could break us all. I’m going with you”

Chiara is in the shadows with Azriel, watching over Feyre in Ianthe™ form. Jurian saves Briar (?? its just unrealistic he didn't save himself) and then they’re on the run. Azriel is carrying Elain, Feyre running behind him, and Chiara is running behind her, trying to keep a shield up.

Chiara pushes Feyre forward and she hisses “Fly” and Feyre shakes her head, gripping onto Chiara. “I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you, I won’t leave you”, but Chiara pulls out a long sword and she shoves Feyre harder. “Fly! That is an order, Feyre Archeron!” 

(I swear they’re dating. Rhys who?) 

Feyre sobs and Chiara wipes her tears and she pushes her after Azriel. “Go, I’ll give you a lead” And she turns around and cuts a hound in half, staring the King down. Chiara pulls out another long blade, and as the hounds jump on her, and beast slams into them. 

YOU MIGHT AS WELL SKIP THIS IS IF YOU DONT SHIP TAMLIN AND CHIARA 

Chiara whispers, “Tam” and the beast looks at her, before they go after the hounds together, Chiara cutting them down, Tamlin attacking them, working together, as a team. She looks back and a hound runs past her and she leaves Tamlin and chases it down, but it gets to Azriel and she screams as it shreds his back. 

She turns back around and keeps fighting by Tamlin’s side, until she feels the wards break. Tamlin shifts and she grabs his hand and they run, their fingers linking. Chiara tosses her weapons aside 30 steps, 20 steps, 15... 10... 5... and she launches them both into the air, grunting, holding Tamlin against her, flying through the break in the ward. 

And she looks down at Tamlin and they share a look, before Tamlin winnows. Chiara catches up with Feyre and Azriel, and Elain and Briar, and she guards their backs, trying to heal Azriel in mid air. 

When they get back, Chiara collapses in Rhys’s arms, gasping for breath. “He saved us” And Rhys just strokes her hair, holding his sister as she finally, finally cries for what she lost. But she stops crying, because she knows what she can gain. 

THE COURT OF DREAMERS: aka the scene where my emotional dramatic self finally started crying

This is it. The final speech. Chiara has given a lot to her brothers, her cousin, her friend. She has given one or two to Feyre, but none to Elain or Nesta. She sighs and leans against her sword and gives a sad smile. 

“I’m glad I met all of you, and I mean that. I truly mean that. I don’t know where I would be without you...likely cowering on my own throne or dead” Chiara smiles and turns to Rhys. “To the first brother I knew, who gave me the world on a silver platter, no questions asked. Who protected me from the world with a silver sword, with maybe a few questions asked” Rhys smiles. 

“To my other brothers, who saved me even though they claim I saved them. Who saw butchering and darkness far greater than I can comprehend, who trusted our mom, who grew up with us. Who gave me the strength,” She squeezes their hands “When I needed it”

“To my cousin, my best friend, the light of my eye,” Mor smiles and her hands shake at her sides. “Who made me realize that I was not alone, that I was not the only female fighting. Who made me realize why I was fighting and kept me fighting”

“To my scary, scary tiny firedrake” Amren scowls and Chiara laughs. “Thank you. For simply existing, for simply being curious, for simply allowing me into your life. What an honor it has been” 

“To my Feyre,” Feyre grins and she doesn’t even care. She flings her arms around Chiara’s neck and Chiara wraps her arms around her waist. “Who brought the light Under the Mountain. Who taught me...who showed me that it was okay. It was okay to love again and I did. I love you fiercely. Who suffered at the hands of my mate, but still loved me back. Who loves my family, my brothers, and one in particular. Thank you so much, Feyre Archeron, I will never be able to thank you enough” (Why are THEY NOT TOGETHER IM MAD AT MYSELF AT THIS POINT)

And then she turns to Nesta and Elain and holds out her hands. Elain takes her hand and Nesta stares at it, so Chiara just almost lets their fingertips touch. “To my newest sisters, who I haven’t even begun to understand, to know, to love. But the time we’ve had together, I have seen your strengths. I am glad to have you at my side. I have seen your weaknesses and I am glad to protect those with my life” 

Chiara looks at the empty space somewhere in the circle. “And to the one I lost - I may have lost you, but I have gained so much more. And I hope you do too” And they all join hands and it turns into a group hug and even Nesta MAYBE joins.

And I swear to God...

THE FINAL BATTLE: aka everything was moving so fast and I’m still trying to figure out what happened

EVERYTHING HAPPENED SO FAST CAN SOMEONE JUST PLEASE TELL ME WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED? 

All I know is...Chiara had so many plans up her sleeves and here they are. She was a little late to the battle, but that doesn’t matter, MY GIRL HAD SOME PLANS. 

She made a bargain with The Boner Carver, The Weaver, Bryaxis, AND whatever that Book summoned (Remember that? You know...the huge plot hole that was never addressed again? Like...you do realize they probably have beasts and monsters and whatever creatures trying to get to Hybern/Prythian/wherever the Book is bc Feyre put the Book together...but okay)

I don’t know how bargains work, I don’t care, I just know Chiara, High Lady of the Night Court, DID THAT, and now has some amazing tattoos all over her back and arms. Because...that’s how it works right? 

But honestly I just love the aesthetic of the shields breaking and then Chiara is standing there, in Illyrian FEMALE armor, her arms up and then the glamors fall and she has all these monsters and?? Like yeah she probably sold her soul for this to happen, but is that the point? No. 

She’s just controlling...all of them. Never been done before. Literally never been done before. The true High Lady of the Night Court. She just looks behind her and smiles “Bone appetite” and then disappears and GOD I love her?? So much. 

And then she’s back like five seconds later and she’s flying through the skies....with Illyrian females behind her. “Cassian!” She screams for her brother to get up here with her, as she leads the females to war aka what we were all waiting for but never got?? That’s where she’s been. Saving and recruiting these females, training them, being the best person in Prythian history. 

And Cassian is just gaping at her and then he grins “Not bad, little sister” And she scowls and leaves Cassian with the Illyrians - male and female, fighting side by side, in the air, as one. And she winnows in next to everyone else, a grin on her fast. 

“That a good enough army for you, brother?” And Rhys gives her a small smile and then he’s gone, fighting with the troops on the ground. Chiara makes sure Azriel stays™ because his wings are damaged and she will not have her brother hurt. 

“It’s not enough,” Azriel says and Chiara looks at him sideways. “Have ye so little faith in dear ole sister?” She mocks gently, looking down at the battle. She looks at her wrist, as if looking at a watch. “They just need to hold the lines”

The Cauldron goes off?? I don’t know how that happened, but it does. RIP Bone Carver. Forever missed. Chiara tackles Cassian when he flies back to them, because she almost lost him and she sobs, looking back at Nesta. And Nesta gives her a small smile and she nods. And I’m not even remotely sorry when I say that this? Could totally be a ship. 

I don’t know what else happened, it was all moving so fast, but Chiara got Miryam and Drakon to come. The ORIGINAL gangster. I love her...with everything I have. She flies into the skies once again, taking Feyre with her, Cassian taking Nesta. 

Chiara just greets them and says “You came” and Drakon ruffles her hair gently. “You came banging on our wards” “Wards are so tedious, Drakon. You can thank me later” and everyone is just gaping at her like...what?? when did you do all this?? She did it when everyone was being jealous of everyone and doing god knows what other useless stuff. 

She and Cassian command the Seraphim, Peregryms, and Illyrians. Fighting as one, driving back the aerial army. We have the humans and Vassa and Papa Archeron. Chiara leaves Cassian and she fights side by side with the High Lords, side by side with Tarquin and Helion. 

THIS WOMAN. THIS HIGH LADY. SHE CAME OUT AND DID ALL THIS. 

Chiara ends up by Cassian, Nesta, Feyre, Amren, to hear that terrible plan that almost got Cassian killed? Yes. THAT one. And Chiara begs him not to go and Rhys appears and Chiara is shaking her head and yes, she’s the first High Lady, yes she’s so powerful, but she’s still just a baby sister who needs all her brothers. 

And Cassian kisses her cheek gently and pulls her closer, smiling against her hairline. “I love you, Chi. I never got to thank your mother-” Chiara presses her hand against his mouth “Our mother, Cas, and she needed...wanted no thanks from you. She loved you...so much” 

And Cassian smiles and moves her hand “Then let this be the way I show her I have protected you” and Rhys and Feyre hold her bask, kicking and screaming, as Cassian takes off with Nesta. (the worst?? most idiotic?? plan?? i have ever witnessed?? but ok)

And then...so much more went down?? And I remember like...a fourth of it. But it was all pretty dramatic and everywhere. 

Skip, skip, skip.

Skip!

YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT READ THIS IS YOU DONT SHIP CHIARA AND FEYRE 

Feyre and Amren are at the Cauldron and Chiara is down on the battlefield with Rhys and the other High Lords. And Feyre reaches down their bond, a bond from so long ago, a bargain Chiara gave her when they were Under the Mountain, a bond Chiara offered to take away; a bond Feyre refused to let go, a bond they both found comfort in, found warmth in their coldest times, and Chiara freezes. 

And it’s like even from where she is...all the way down there... She looks up and she sees Feyre and Feyre sees her. And that bond, it glows. And they both smile at the same time, a smile of thanks, of gratitude, of love, of kindness, of being loved, and giving the love; of needing each other, of holding each other up when they both wanted to fall, of shared memories and sweet talks, of short walks and long runs, of flying and training - all in that one smile. 

And then Chiara shifts into her beast form and Feyre grabs onto the Cauldron and maybe, just maybe, that’s the last time they’ll ever share that smile again, ever feel that bond again. 

(At this point...they’re married, right? Like it’s obvious they’re so in love)

More stuff happens...that I can’t remember...Amren is unleashed. Seriously, what was she? Actually, don’t tell me. She was The Devil and anything other than that is a let down. 

Hybern loses. We win. No one dies that we care about except the Suriel. Basically what happens. 

Rhys’s Death: aka we were all pretending to be shocked or we were all actually shocked that he “died” and came back to life?

Rhys’s death would have been so much more powerful....if Feyre wasn’t the only one who reacted. Everyone else looked like they were watching a squashed bug die. It felt very emotionless to me, but ....

Chiara screams loud enough to break the battle field when she sees her brother lying there, motionless. She looks over at Cassian and Azriel quickly, but she darts to Rhys, pulling his head in her lap. And she just stares at him and her worst fears have come true - she didn't get to save him just like she didn't get to save her mother - she can only get revenge. But...she cant even get that? Because who is she supposed to kill? She killed Tamlin’s father for killing her mother...but does she kill Feyre? The Cauldron?

No. She just sobs over Rhys’s body and straightens his armor and tries to make him look nice, because he would want that. She grips his shoulders and wipes her tears impatiently, gritting her teeth. And there’s this moment...where she’s alone. Rhys, she believes so deeply, that he’s with their mom (and hopefully not their dad). And yes, Cassian and Azriel are her brothers, but she had this bond with Rhys. And she cant...she cant feel it. 

So she glares at the High Lords, her eyes red, tears staining her cheeks, “Bring him back.” and it’s not Chiara saying it. It’s the High Lord Killer glaring at them, snarling at them, clutching onto her brother, the one killed by the Cauldron. The one killed by the thing that blessed her. The irony, the tragedy. 

“I will kill you if you don’t bring him back” But she takes a deep breath, her hands still shaking, and she’s still falling apart. And Tarquin steps forward, kisses her forehead, and does that whole magic thingy. Then Helion, Kallias, Thesan, then she does it, pressing her hand against Rhys’s chest, whispering into his hair. 

“Tamlin,” She breathes. “Where is Tamlin? Where is my mate” And she looks around, still holding onto Rhys. And Tamlin steps through the crowd and she stares up at him, and its deja vu. She’s crying over Rhys, as she cried over her mother. And he’s just staring at her...doing nothing.

And maybe Tamlin sees that. And he gets down beside her, kisses her forehead and whispers, “I’m sorry. Forgive me, for all of this, for everything and more” And Chiara sobs into his shoulder and she watches as his magic sinks into Rhys’s chest. 

YOU MIGHT AS WELL SKIP THIS IF YOU DONT SHIP TAMLIN AND CHIARA 

Tamlin holds her against him and she’s sobbing into his chest, gripping onto his shirt. And he’s stroking her hair, looking at Rhys. And then that bond...that bond between them. Maybe it finally has the means to get stronger now, maybe it doesn’t. But it’s still there, and they will always have hope. 

And Rhys opens his eyes and reaches for Chiara’s hand, whispering “I saw her,” and Chiara screams and pounces on him and even Cassian and Azriel pull him into a group hug and he just whispers, “She’s so proud of us” And he’s talking about their mom and I am SO DONE breaking my own heart. 

“You saw mom?” Cassian’s voice breaks and it turns out IM NOT DONE BREAKING MY OWN HEART because Rhys has one arm wrapped around Azriel, the other wrapped around Cassian and Chiara and he nods, smiling. And Azriel has tears running down his face and Chiara she asks... “Did you tell her I was sorry”

And Rhys says, “There was no need to”

The Meeting: aka everyone in the same room so who dies first? surprisingly no one. but we’re all very cranky. 

Chiara tackles Lucien in one of the biggest, cutest bear hugs there is. And Lucien spins her around and she laughs, burying her face in his neck. He’s wearing Illyrian leathers and Chiara squeezes harder and Lucien whispers, “My High Lady” and Lucien is a part of her court now and Chiara smiles and kisses his cheeks. 

Blah blah, politics talking, I was half asleep reading this scene, to be quite frankly honest. 

But then there’s this scene, it’s just the Bat Siblings and Tamlin left in the room and Chiara stares at Tamlin. And he stares back and swallows. “Could we have been happy? If I fought that day, fought at all?” And Chiara lets loose a breath and she gives a pathetic shrug. 

“We can’t know. Something else may have come along, Amarantha was another barrier between us, Tamlin”

“If I hadn’t tried to break the bond-”

And Chiara shakes her head and she walks forward, hugging him slowly, kissing his cheek. They both shudder and she breathes in his scent. “I don’t want to focus on the should have, could have, would haves with you. We either work or we don’t. We either start trying now or we don’t.”

She brushes his cheek and kisses his brow “Tell me your decision later” and she walks out and the Bat Brothers follow her.

Chapter 81: Aka Rhys’s POV and how the book should have ended but didn’t.

Rhys is standing out in the garden and Cassian, Azriel, and Chiara go to him. The latter with a drink for him and Rhys takes it. They all stare at Elain’s garden and Chiara sits down, looking up at her brothers. 

And they just all share these smiles and Chiara laughs softly, downing her drink. “No more wars for at least another five hundred years. Or more. Please” And Cassian agrees and he lounges in the sun with his sister and Chiara smiles and plants her head on his shoulder, holding his hand. Azriel sits beside her and Rhys sprawls out by their feet and they all share jokes and they laugh. They have a family, yes, they have their Court, yes, but they also just have them, the four of them, siblings no matter what.

Feyre, Elain, Nesta, Mor, and Amren join them later and Chiara looks at her Court of Dreamers.

And she looks to the skies, to the stars that haven’t come out yet, but have definitely answered, and she whispers “Thank you”

THIS WAS SO LONG I LITERALLY SPENT HOURSE ON THIS. And I know it’s not going to get any notes and I’m cringing at the very thought, but I worked so hard on this and I might as well share it. So lease, just please, leave comments. 

[the-cryptographer]

My tiny yugioh shrine - before and after pics. The Jounouchi figure still up top, holding a chain and ready to shank you with a scapegoat~ But I thought I’d zoom in so we could see my BEAUTIFUL NEW ISHTAR SIBS CLEARFILE INSTEAD~

I thought my shrine was getting a little too shippy. And especially a little too shippy in the absence of Mai. WHERE IS ALL THE KUJAKU MAI MERCHANDISE?! i need it pls, thx. But, anyhow~ I bought the Ishtar clearfile off of auction. And I thought it might be an old one, but on the back is actually a logo for the 20th anniversary of ygo, last year in 2016. And they weren’t even really in the movie, so now I’m wondering maybe there is also the chance of some recent Mai merchandise out there, hmm, so she will properly be represented in my collection >3>

But yeah, this is just by the exit to my room so i can stop by before i leave for the day and, offer coins or pieces of fruit or whatever and pray at my card game based alter, and maybe then Jounouchi’s good luck will rub off on me a little~

...

And there’s also a gore version of the shrine, but I usually keep that picture in the back so visitors don’t think i’m a creep. i guess i’ll put this picture in the front if i ever decide to host ritualistic demon summonings in my room or smthn~

(Both prints are from toxicosis by the way.)

Doujinshi are in another location. And I was only going to talk about my stupid ygo bookshelf shrine thing today, but then my doujin shipment came in and I decided FUCK IT i will brag about my crippling lack of impulse control cool swag all at once if i want to... Under the cut-

@battymarionette

If you remember this one~

tdah~ Basically it seems like a Kaiba Corp has put out a game, some kind of ridiculous fantasy RPG where Atem is some kind of Ron the Death Eater villain and Jou may or may not be the princess or smthn. And Mokuba invites Jounouchi over to play it or playtest it or something of that nature. Which seems like as good a premise as any for this kind of thing. And it’s got all the cute platonic Joukuba vibes which is a plus~

But yeah, Jounouchi goes over to Mokuba’s place, has some kind of fight with Seto, and some kind of conversation with Atem, and Mokuba’s kind of confused or upset about something, and then Jou gets all cute and announces that he and Kaiba are dating~ which i’m pretty sure Seto didn’t want Mokuba knowing about or whatever~

But, see, now I’m making this doujin sound sweet when, to be really blunt, i didn’t like it. At some point Seto slaps Jounouchi across the face for something.

I guess I shouldn’t pass judgement when I can’t even read the moon runes that explain why this has happened, but- no. (I’m trying to articulate. It’s not that I think Jou and Seto are incapable of being violent with one another (jfc how hypocritical would it be of me) but there’s something about the whys and the hows~? in my mind, Seto doesn’t gets hands on with that kind of thing unless it’s landing a measured martial arts blow in self defense, or lashing out from a place of extreme vulnerability - the kind that involves him being five seconds away from curling up in a ball of self-protection. So... Seto being collected and composed and instigating violence on Jounouchi’s triggers all my ‘no’ responses. And I also doubt Jounouchi would take that kind of thing without complaint, unless he was actually raving or spiraling and it was, like, a calm-the-fuck-down slap. I think he would definitely retaliate with shouting and intimidation, if not a physical blow. With Jounouchi it’s a little harder for me to define what would prompt physical violence, partly because i think his idea of what violence is is narrower than mine, and doesn’t include things like grabbing somebody’s jacket collar and shaking them around. But, hmm, I think by the time he’s through canon he doesn’t exactly break out the fistcuffs lightly.)

The point was that this doujin made it to the top of my shit list very fast. And I was concerned because, see, I had been avoiding buying KaiJou (in that order) doujins because most of them kind of do this thing to me and completely miss the glass cannon type of volatile fragility I see as being kind of central to Kaiba’s character. But then I caved and ordered a whole bunch. But, actually, I was pleasantly surprised by the other couple of ones I bought, so maybe the curse has finally lifted~ I liked this one in particular-

But, tbh, it also knew the way into my heart~

The way into my heart is Wheeler siblings :x

@rainstormcolors

First of all, I got POLARIS and it was good!

I don’t know what to share about it other than that because it was mostly porn. But I felt like it was kind of sweet and sentimental and Kaiba and Atem going on silly dates at the beginning with gorgeous background details. Also they sit on the throne together at the end and look very in love teehee~

But, yes, thank you for reccing~ I enjoyed a lot~!

BUT- !!! More importantly this finally came in the mail!

To answer your question, it’s a normal rivalshipping anthology. 112 pages, comics and fic~ Exciting things happen like Yuugi and Kaiba playing twister~

And in another story they’re out travelling and having punishment games of some sort and Yuugi gets a beard painted on his face~

AND HIS MOM OMG!! I love when odd characters cameo in my doujins. I think you can tell~

But, no, I lied- I addition to the anthology I got all this other stuff too~

I don’t know. There’s a set of tiny playing cards you have to disentangle. Some have exciting images.

Notably Jounouchi and Atem are the jokers, heh~

I still haven’t checked out the CD. This is a very rushed post where I don’t attempt to read things carefully or any of that~ But it comes with a manual with a bunch of character avatars - lots of expressions for Yuugi and Kaiba, as well as one avatar each for Jou, Anzu, baby Seto, Kisara, and BEWD. So I think it may be a visual novel of sorts. Undetermined~

So now you’ll know what you’re getting if you decide to order, in theory at least. I’m not sure because I bought this off the author’s BOOTH, so idk if the extra merchandise is limited in any manner or if toranoana only sends part of it(?)

ugh, let’s see.

I also got another anthology- a Yuugi-centric one.

It’s mostly rivalshipping, which I’d expect. rivalshipping is really popular in the jp fandom. but, tbh, i enjoyed the more odd ships more-

Like Juudai/Manjoume/Yuugi... Kaiba walks in on the Kohais basically crushing yuugi with love after this it’s so cute~

And Otogi/Yuugi. Ah~ I love the DDM chapters in the manga and how softly Otogi warms up to Yuugi~

A Duel Monsters themed art book I spent too much on~ I’m ashamed to say I don’t recognise a whole lot of the cards

but you’ll recognise Yubel, perhaps~

or the lady that Y!Bakura crossdresses as ;)

and there were quite a few dark magician girls and blue eyeses.

from another illustration book~

and i found a couple of apprenticeshipping doujins on BOOTH, but none of them wow-ed me really~

although I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how Mana inherited the Ring in manga canon. I feel like there are things to consider here. This picture struck me as a result.

Alright~ And now for my favourites~

OMG! A WHOLE DOUJIN ABOUT MALIK AND HIS SIBLINGS!!! I think this one was a predictable fave. I loved it so, sooo much. I was absolutely filled with quality Malik and Rishid moments.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE!!

Malik and Rishid go biking and run into Mai which is very !!!

There are vacation photographs~

It looks like Malik tries to feed Ra a revival slime and gets eaten himself. I don’t know. But it was good. I’m so happy~ Ishtar family doujins. My life is complete. not really. i can’t die until i finish my fics.

Okay, but my other fave I didn’t see coming at all.

I don’t ship this! I shouted into the void. But nobody really believed her, not even herself. It’s too late for me. I’m just multiship trash. I will ship anything you put in front of me...

Okay, but the real reason I decided to get this was because of this preview panel. Of course I knew it was puzzlleship. But actually I love Mana and vaseshipping for reals. And this was so cute and the art was so pretty I thought- We might as well check the rest of it out~ (the idea of top!Yuugi didn’t hurt either...)

And then jackels happened~ And this kind of ethereal magic stuff~

There was some confusion I think with the cultural imagery in the doujin. Some of it looked vaguely Indic to my untrained eye but- I don’t know what to say, the art was so gorgeous and detailed.

And the smut was all facials and frot so obviously the doujin artist has my gd number, smh.

And Jou appeared near the end, looking amazing, and Jou is automatically about +50 points for any doujin.

I don’t know what to say. Very nice. Would recommend.

Also- just fyi- I do buy doujins for things that aren’t ygo. pls forgive my focus on my ygo obsession tho.

I’m really glad I stumbled across this in the hetalia tag~

And there’s a picture of Tifa being so bad at games at the golden saucer that Nanaki, who doesn’t even have opposable thumbs, can defeat her in PvP. Beautiful~